Tumgik
#(im doing it right now actually -- getting anxious about all this phrasing)
variousqueerthings · 4 months
Text
finished reading "tell me I'm worthless," which was an interesting experience. I think there's something really good for you in your soul to be able to understand the genre conventions you're in and the kinds of structures and language and character that can be explored in these genres. I think about how people tend to -- with fiction about marginalisation and/or about people who are marginalised as a blanket whole, regardless of the story -- operate on a checklist of dos and donts, but mainly donts: don't ever tell us a deadname, don't ever use these "problematic" words to describe them/or have them describe themselves in this way, don't ever describe negative emotions or "problematic" emotions, don't let the characters have harmful traits (either towards themselves or others), don't hurt your characters at all actually, don't make your characters politically uncomfortable or "problematically" complicated in their political outlook and/or journey, don't make your characters be assholes ever, certainly don't traumatise your characters, and under no circumstance do you kill your characters!
which of course, this book does praaaactically every one of these things, thank goodness
13 notes · View notes
reynie-muldoons · 1 year
Text
“A Joyful Lens” liveblog!
I know I’ve been kind of delayed on these but I want to watch the finale as soon as I can, so this liveblog is happening tonight LMAO.
RIP bingo for this one, I did not have time, and I don't have time for the finale either. I've been really busy, and work has me working weird hours, so I'm really sorry about that.
As always, spoilers under the cut!
0:58 it’s really fucking creepy how he sicced a kid on number two. Creepy ass child
1:21 just let him drink it dude
1:46 welp there she goes
2:09 well there goes that plan
2:22 “I could not poison my own brother” my guy it’s not poison
2:34 what the
Tumblr media
3:03 I love that they have a code between each other LOL
3:10 “it’s our own system we made up to classify bug and animal threats to the farm and dictate our response” LMAO THOSE CUTE ASS NERDS
3:29 “I’ve stared down the barrel of Curtain’s brainsweeper. I’m fine staying put.” MY BABY GIRL KNOWING WHEN TO STEP ASIDE
3:35 “run silent, run deep.” REFERENCE TO THE INSTITUTE BREAK-IN
3:52 “thirty seconds pretty much guarantees they’ll be too far away to see our movements.” LMAO i take back everything I said earlier but at least my girl’s funny as fuck 4:13 straight jackets? really?
4:32 he is stone fucking cold. That's the face of a kid who rightfully held a grudge
Tumblr media
4:47 you’d think the happiness technique thing wouldn’t make Constance lose her contrarian nature, just make it have a pleasant flare. It goes to show how much it’s truly altering these people
4:55 “just pull it.” why does he know how a straight jacket works
5:03 she ripped that thing off like tearaway pants LMAO
5:14 “that’s not my way, you know that Sticky” I hate that he’s already trying to appeal to him
5:48 yikies
6:01 and now time for the lovely intro. I really do like the style, I don’t think I’ll ever get tired if the vibe
7:06 it makes me sad that she was so unhappy, but at the same time it’s upsetting that it’s being achieved through manipulation and hypnotism
7:11 it really does seem similar to a manic episode
7:28 “but when I think with my mind I just want to resist with all my might” smart. Please listen to yourself
7:42 “what if you just don’t think as much? What if everything’s just fine?” this sounds like a neurotypical person trying to tell someone to just not be anxious
7:53 wtf is happening
8:03 again wtf is happening. This is like two drunk people pretending they’re sober
8:05 oh lord it’s both of them now hahahah
8:21 okay the hard cut was really fucking funny
8:25 is the two of them screaming out a song going to be an important plot point for the gang reuniting hahahah
8:34 “...wolves?” LMAOOOO
8:40 what on earth
8:45 OOP
9:11 “blink once if they have this room bugged” yikes
9:18 “sir, you’re dressed in the faded rags of a hostage” tell me why that reminded me of gert’s “the tower” (gert if you’re reading this i love that fic and its additions so fucking much)
9:24 “I’m getting my own soon” if they’re anything less than a loud yellow im suing
9:26 “I requested yellow” girl you’ve been hypnotized for like 5 minutes when did you have the time to do that
9:36 what is wrong with this child
9:52 rip rhonda and milligan’s free will
9:59 “it’s like a… horse-camel.” does Kate not know what a llama is??
10:29 Constance looks like she jumped right out of Hansel and Gretel
10:58 “I know I tease you, Sticky, but the truth is that I enjoy your scientific facts.” I wonder how much truth there actually is to that
11:24 AWWWW. I know Constance would not do that when not under the influence but it’s so sweet
11:27 “...what’s wrong with her” she didn’t even hesitate
12:07 oh my gosh actually?? Smooth. And very smart to keep up the act so that they can meet up with the other two
12:30 “you two need to blend in” as if they aren’t already on curtain and his team’s hit list
12:38 ew is this like a PR thing
12:51 I really don’t like the phrase “reach into someone’s mind”. Very brainsweeper-adjacent of you
13:07 is this supposed to be a masterclass or some shit
13:29 “and soon all of you will be ready to share your gifts with the world” this is getting very Whisperer-takeover-adjacent of you
13:35 I’m sorry but Milligan you look ridiculous
13:36 I love how they somehow managed to make the four maintain some aspect of their personal styles in their hobo clothes. Reynie has a collar popped for fuck’s sake LOL
14:04 happiness centers?? This is the same but opposite of the books’ SAD cases and facilities
14:10 yikes, they’re operating them? Curtain must be fully convinced that he has control over their minds at this point. Scary
14:17 another one bites the dust
14:24 “I got it, they’re undercover.” Sticky I love you but do you think Mr Benedict is that good of an actor. Like Milligan and Rhonda I get, they are skilled as hell, but he would never be able to keep his cool around his brother like that
14:32 oh that made me so sad, I saw how ecstatic Miss Perumal looked
14:46 wait it happened that quickly? You get one neck pain and then 10 minutes later you’re fully catatonic?
15:05 of course the guy it happened to was conveniently on a wheelie chair
15:27 I really don’t like the implications of “worldwide happiness revolution”
15:37 Mr B looks incredibly concerned. Did he break out of it? Is it possible to break out of it? Is it possible to feel things other than happiness? I have so many questions
16:28 “they seem… very happy to be with you.” fake asf
16:44 ohh Reynie sweetheart
17:15 ohhhhh Kate
17:35 “there is no point to that emotion” dude’s fucked
17:42 “you guys are so convincing!” “thanks :D of what :D” incredible
18:01 “we love it here Sticky, and you will too.” fucking creepy
18:38 “it’s only natural to want others to be as miserable as you are” I mean there’s her usually biting tone but also huhhhh
18:58 Garrison team up part 2 electric boogaloo
19:09 LMAO SHE YOINKED THE NOTEBOOK
19:40 oop they weren’t in unison that time
19:52 cover’s blown
21:13 “a correlation. Which is not the same as a causation.” just say you’re in denial and go
21:40 “and next time, do not bring me a problem for which you have no solution” so what I’m hearing is that homeboy doesn’t want to held responsible
21:57 AWW REUNION TIME
22:02 I GET THAT THEYRE MENTALLY COMPROMISED BUT MY HEART IS SO HAPPY SEEING THEM HUG
22:37 why does she write her r’s like that
Tumblr media
22:37 I mean I get that it's a font but still
22:46 “optics. You mean like shining a bright light in someone’s eye?” don’t tell me they’re about to strobe people into awareness
23:06 “I’ve successfully stolen several items recently.” Kate, my love, I’m so proud of you LMAO
24:02 I’m really enjoying this compilation, each person is contributing in ways that play to all of their skills so dang well
24:19 that’s right, now learn to appreciate your dad’s contributions
24:36 “50/50… maybe…. 40/60?” loving the confidence lol. What a weird ass solution
24:49 it is so deeply strange seeing them all frolicking
25:01 I find it hilarious that the hippy pants don’t have belt buckles so Kate had to make a sash for her bucket
25:22 good grief. I know I said it earlier but it’s like they’re drunk off their asses
25:24 so did Mr B just like… forget about what he saw or
25:35 “that… is an unexpected vision.” agreed
25:47 “where’s my dad? Let’s start with him.” she can pretend she’s not worried about him all she wants but I will simply not believe her
25:57 okay so he didn’t forget. But he’s still dancing. So does the hypnosis thing kind of interject happiness into everything else, like force it to the front no matter what? Is that why he’s so chill? I still don’t quite understand how this works logistically
26:03 “and I knew I should feel something but I couldnt, which terrified me” okay so that does kind of answer my question, from what Mr B’s saying it negates other feelings to the point of overriding them
26:22 Milligan my guy chew with your mouth closed
26:42 I know he’s compromised but I think he would’ve responded the same way if he wasn’t because he’s so soft for her
26:54 “you are an amazing person, Kate Wetherall.” “I have strong genes.” AOJSDLFKSJDLF
Tumblr media
26:54 THEY ARE SO PRECIOUS
27:19 moment of truth
27:28 “...you deliberately misled me at the gates.” LMAO HE’S BACK AND HE’S BITTER
27:45 MY HEART CAN’T HANDLE THEM
27:57 “looks like you’ve gotten acclimated :D” creepy
28:34 RHONDA’S FACE HAHAHAH she’s like “I can’t believe this shit”
28:43 “Oh, can it wait? I’m vibing.” drunk queen energy lol
28:53 “trust me.” “and I do, with my life” LSKDFJLIDSFJ AWWWWW
29:07 they’re going to be a problem if they’re watching so closely
29:13 first of all, don’t J&J recognize them from school?? LOL. second, called it
29:58 why did they have to tackle him like that adfjlafj
30:06 “my shoulder! It’s dislocated!” “STAY WITH ME” “it’s just my shoulder but thank you!” these two hahahhaa
30:58 “she gets a vote now?” in this house I demand respect for Miss Perumal 😤
31:52 “us :)” awwwwww
32:18 so is he like trying to do it to himself or
32:21 he WAS damnit that’s sad
32:28 equal parts sad and creepy. This is a desperate man
32:47 LMAO HUH
33:08 so number two’s original plan is in action lol. He is in a literal body bag
33:47 LMAOOOOO they’re fucking zoomin
34:06 why do they call them the greys too? Like.. don't they have an actual name for them. Like, say. Recruiters
So I did this liveblog in a few parts, but as I’m typing this it’s Wednesday night. I’m about to watch the finale.
34:24 idk why I gasped bc I knew it was coming
~
Damn, this season really took a hard left LOL. I have 0 idea what to expect for the finale. See you guys there!
2 notes · View notes
Text
MC’s Half Demon and They Look Awfully Familiar Part 4
(The side characters strike again!)
Part 1 Part 2 Lessons 1-5 Part 2.5 Group Retreat Lessons 10-12 Part 3
L!MC= Lucifer’s kid | M!MC= Mammon’s kid | A!MC=Asmo’s kid
Let’s get right to it!
The Uncle That Hardcore Simps For His Spouse In the Most Wholesome Way (Diavolo)
Gasp! More half-demon kids? Oh my! Maybe if he tried again next year a kid of his own would pop down! Hang on- he hadn’t slept with a human in almost a century... dang. No kids for him...
...maybe...
Remember when I said Diavolo would try to do those stereotypical dad (tm) things and be hip with the kids? Yeah he keeps doing that.
The number of broken windows related to wayward baseballs goes up 150%. At least that’s how they all figured out that M!MC is nearsighted like their dad!
M!MC had developed a bit of a habit of telling Diavolo about cool human stuff and making the Crown Prince even more interested in the human world than normal.
You may be thinking “what’s so bad about that?” well, the number of yo-yos at RAD went up so high that Lucifer had to ban them.
Belphie and Satan, being the rebels they are, became yo-yo masters specifically to spite Lucifer.
It was sort of like the fidget spinners craze if you were in school for that.
Oh, hi Lord Diavolo. What’s a fidget spinner? It’s this- I should stop talking...
Since no one learned their lesson from the previous incident, Diavolo threw another BBQ.
“Why are we doing this again?” L!MC asked to no one in particular.
“Don’t worry, L!MC. I’ve taken every precaution possible to make sure that what happened last time doesn’t happen again.” Diavolo said and continued in his crusade to cover the entire pathway with sidewalk chalk doodles.
L!MC, Luke, Diavolo, M!MC, Belphie, and A!MC were all busily drawing a wide variety of doodles and drawings with chalk while the other guests milled around nearby. A!MC was in the middle of drawing quite the nice looking Cerberus chibi, while M!MC and Belphie were drawing a lot of stick figures. L!MC and Luke had just finished a wonderful drawing of... an alpaca? Giraffe? Thing...? Hell, even they didn’t know what it was.
Diavolo looked over at M!MC’s stick figure army with a big smile on his face. “So what are all of them doing? It looks like that one’s flying!”
You could practically hear the Addam’s Family theme play as M!MC and Belphie looked at each other and grinned.
“Oh Belphie was just talking about L!MC’s flying lesson fails and I felt that an artist’s rendition was needed.” M!MC explained, he began to point out certain doodles. “Here’s L!MC getting up off the ground, then there’s them actually flying, and this is them falling in the fountain.”
L!MC looked over at the chalk and glared at M!MC. “It’s generous to call that an artist’s rendition. It looks like crap.”
“And what did you draw?” Belphie smirked at the alpaca-giraffe-thing, Luke protectively covered up the drawing (side note, Luke was wearing white and playing with sidewalk chalk, by the end of the day he looked like a walking pride flag).
“None of your business!” Luke huffed.
“And what about that one?” Diavolo seemed completely oblivious to the hostility brewing between the two groups, A!MC was completely used to this and walked away to grab a drink.
“Ah, good eye, Lord Diavolo!” M!MC chirped. “This is a drawing of the time L!MC almost burned down your kitchen.”
Diavolo laughed and gave M!MC a few pats on the head. “Very accurate!”
“You’re so lucky I followed the rules and didn’t bring a water gun...” L!MC growled as they slowly reached for their backpack.
“Yeah... lucky. Real lucky...” M!MC nodded as they tried to casually reach for their bag, Belphie followed suit.
“I’m so glad we all followed the rules.” Luke smiled, his own hand inching towards his bag.
There was a brief moment of stillness before the four of them whipped out their water guns and pointed them at each other.
“This BBQ ain’t big enough for the both of us!” M!MC’s terrible cowboy impression aside, their gun was poised to shoot directly at Luke and L!MC’s alpaca-giraffe-thing.
“Everyone, I know this is a human world tradition but-”
Belphie silenced Diavolo by pointing his water gun at him. “Sh, don’t talk unless you have a water gun as well.”
Deciding not to smite Belphie for treason, Diavolo pulled his own water gun out of his shirt. “Okay, what now?”
“Now, we’re in a standoff...” L!MC glowered at M!MC, the air was practically crackling with hostility...
Until a burst of flames got everyone to whirl around to see A!MC with hairspray and a lighter.
“No water guns! I refuse to go home shivering and covered in grass again!”
Crisis averted. Everyone went to go fail at throwing beanbags into a hole instead of shooting each other.
That was probably for the best... Belphie filled everyone’s water guns with paint.
The Uncle That Does All the Cooking for Family Dinners (Barbatos)
Remember how I said that Barbs liked smol Lucifer? Yea, he likes smol Asmo too. Smol Asmo is willing to admit that they don’t know how to use an oven and is willing to learn.
M!MC is formally banned from being within 50 feet of the kitchen. It’s for the best.
A!MC often tries to get Barbatos to look into the possible futures so they can see if they can avoid messing anything up and A!MC is just so adorable that Barbatos actually thinks about it.
He still says no every single time.
“Could you at least tell me if I have the possibility of doing something embarrassing in the near future?”
“My apologies, A!MC, but no.”
“P-please?”
“The answer remains the same.”
A!MC sighed and went back to helping chop vegetables. Under Barbatos’ tutelage, A!MC’s cooking ability had increased tenfold, they could now make as many burgers as they wanted without worrying about burning down the kitchen.
Pitying the anxious half-demon, Barbatos sighed. “I cannot confirm nor deny a future where your outfit gets ruined.”
A!MC perked up. “H-huh?”
“I cannot confirm nor deny a future where your outfit gets ruined.”
Quickly understanding what Barbatos was trying to do, A!MC quickly nodded and spent the rest of the cooking time carefully taking note of their surroundings.
“Hey! What’re you guys doin’?” M!MC had managed to get in... damn! Everyone must have been putting their best efforts in keeping Solomon away from the kitchen and forgot about M!MC...
“We’re just finishing up, M!MC,” Barbatos had on his ‘oh no...’ smile. “We don’t need any help.”
“Really? You guys sure?”
“Why are you so interested?” A!MC asked.
“Lucifer said that idle hands are the devil’s playthings and that I should go look for something productive to do.” M!MC huffed. “Very ironic phrase.”
“F-fine, I guess you can...” A!MC searched for the least destructive task they could give. “Take the utensils and set the table.”
M!MC gave them a mock salute and grabbed the utensils, as they turned to leave, they knocked a large bowl of chopped fruit over, sending the fruit pieces flying.
Remembering Barbatos’ prediction, A!MC didn’t bother to try and stop the fruit from falling, they only grabbed the nearest big plate they could find and shielded their outfit from harm. The fruit splattered harmlessly against the shield.
“Whoops... my bad. You alright, A!MC?” M!MC asked as A!MC inspected their outfit.
“Y-yes actually...” A!MC turned to Barbatos, who was already getting the cleaning supplies.
“Thank you!” A!MC whispered.
Barbatos smiled and nodded. “You’re very welcome, A!MC.”
Barbatos now has two sorta-children. A!MC and Luke!
M!MC means well, I swear! He just shouldn’t be allowed in a cooking environment!
The Cousin That Your Mom Points at and Goes “Look at Him, He Helps With the Dishes, Be More Like Him.” (Simeon)
Oh man... time for some more embarrassing stories.
“Asmo was the most adorable child, it’s a shame he was such a troublemaker...”
“Really? My dad?”
“What about mine?”
“I think you can guess.”
I cannot comment on Simeon’s help with flying lessons because I refuse to Headcanon what Simeon’s wings look like until canon gives us a GLIMMER. LIKE SERIOUSLY SOLMARE IM CURIOUS-
I have a feeling the children were quite curious as well.
“What do you think his wings look like?” M!MC asked A!MC as the two peered around the corner of one of the hallways in Purgatory Hall.
“I bet they’re super nice. But besides that...” A!MC leaned over and squinted. “Why is Simeon writing with a pen and pencil? He’s writing a book... shouldn’t he use a computer?”
“Bold of you to assume he knows how to use a computer.” M!MC snickered.
A!MC frowned. “Don’t be mean... I’m sure he knows how...”
Simeon picked up his DDD and took a picture of his face, seemingly by accident, with the flash on, causing him to drop the phone in surprise.
“Probably...”
The two surveyed their angel friend like two wildlife documenters, here we see, the Simeon, not in his natural habitat, surrounded by confusing technology...
“Do you think if we scare him his wings might pop out in surprise?” M!MC wondered aloud, A!MC shrugged.
“Maybe... but I don’t think we should bother him...” A!MC whispered. “He looks busy.”
“What are you two doing?”
It took literally every bit of willpower for the two half demons to not scream in absolute terror at the sudden interruption.
Ah... it was just Solomon... in an apron... Solomon... in cooking clothes...
Oh no.
“Spying on Simeon?” Solomon asked.
“N-no...” A!MC giggled nervously. “Just crouching casually in this hallway...”
“...smooth, A!MC.” M!MC rolled their eyes.
“Well, it’s great that you two are here, I made lunch!”
A!MC and M!MC looked at each other in pure horror, they needed to get out of there!
“Uh- um... we’d love to but...” M!MC looked around frantically before just pointing at a random spot behind Solomon. “LOOK! A DISTRACTION!”
A!MC and M!MC ran out of there as fast as their legs could carry them. Finding out if Simeon had wings was not worth being poisoned. Not at all...
Good ol’ Simeon... Mr. Cristopher Peugeot on the other hand- M!MC had some questions for him.
“TSL is literally the most popular book series ever, does that mean you’re completely loaded?”
“Oh, no I’m not, I don’t have any use for human world money in the Celestial Realm. All the profits go to charity.”
“...Dude really?”
“That’s nice of you, Simeon!”
“You didn’t keep any of it..?”
Wait... Who the Hell Are You..? (Solomon)
So A!MC basically has three dads; Fabulous-dad, butler-dad, and wizard-dad!
“So you just... have capes lying around?”
“Yes, would you like a cape?”
“Okay if they don’t take the cape I want it.”
Solomon shows up to RAD with his nails painted different wacky styles every week, courtesy of A!MC.
Though- the unholy combination that is M!MC and Solomon is feared by all.
“Road work ahead?”
“Uh, yeah I sure hope it does.”
Solomon and M!MC’s rampant quoting of vines elicited another glare from Lucifer.
Despite Solomon having literally been alive since the seven rulers of hell were angels, he had kept up with pop culture fairly decently. Decently enough that M!MC had someone that wasn’t Levi to bounce memes off.
“Pff...” M!MC suppressed a laugh at a seemingly normal water bottle advertisement. “Enslaved moisture.”
“I’m not going crazy, right Simeon? You’re hearing this too?” Lucifer tiredly turned to the angel, who shook his head.
“This is just the tip of the iceberg. Solomon quacked at M!MC earlier and they lost their minds laughing about it.” Simeon shrugged, unbothered by the sorcerer and the half demon’s rampant meme-ing behind them.
Lucifer on the other hand, was quite bothered. Incredibly bothered, if you will. “If you two don’t shut up right now I’m going to-”
“Quick! We must abscond!” Solomon turned and heelied away, followed by M!MC. The shoes that Mammon bought to replace the ones lost during the casino incident were apparently heelies as well...
The day was saved when a rock jammed one of Solomon’s wheels and he slammed face first into the concrete. Yikes... that had to hurt.
A!MC had fun glow in the dark bandaids for Solomon to patch up his face. Even though he he could heal himself with magic, he let A!MC do what they wanted because they were just too adorable to say no to.
Asmo has pictures
The Cousin Squad (tm)
(Luke, L!MC, A!MC, and M!MC)
Ah yes, the bab squad. The most adorable group in the Devildom. Surrender your candy immediately or face destruction.
M!MC teases the crap out of Luke, and A!MC tries to stop it, but L!MC is the one who manages to actually make M!MC stop.
Only L!MC gets to pick on the smol angel. GOT IT?!
A!MC and Luke are already baking buddies because of butler-dad so they get along swimmingly.
Poor Luke’s the victim of many of M!MC’s shenanigans.
Luke: Are you sure this is safe, M!MC?
M!MC (about to put mentos into the bottle of coke Luke is holding): No.
L!MC and A!MC get along really well, being honest, everyone loves A!MC.
A!MC makes sure L!MC gets some sleep because they don’t want their cousin picking up on Lucifer’s habit of living off of coffee and coffee alone. L!MC doesn’t get it but they’re very grateful anyway.
M!MC and A!MC were friends from the start. Well... M!MC decided they were friends right from the start and A!MC did not have the ability to fight the power of friendship.
M!MC: You are being befriended. Please do not resist.
Since M!MC is great and amazing like their pop, they took it upon themselves to be the friend that speaks up when A!MC is too nervous to do so.
M!MC and L!MC? Lucifer and Mammon 2 electric boogaloo. Sorta.
L!MC and M!MC bicker all the time but the babs bounce back from their fights way easier.
One minute they’re at each other’s throats and the next they’re showing each other memes.
“There’s no escaping this.”
Lucifer stood between M!MC and the door... their one way ticket to freedom...
“You need to go to the dentist.”
The entire HOL plus the Purgatory Hall crew were getting ready to go visit the dentist to get their teeth cleaned. It was the time of the year that Mammon dreaded most... and his child felt the same way.
“My teeth are fine! Lemme stay home! I’ll hold down the fort with dad!” M!MC smiled and nodded as enthusiastically as they could, but even the most unobservant person couldn’t miss the sweat beading on their forehead.
“Beel.” Lucifer snapped his fingers and before M!MC could do anything Beel had thrown them over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes.
“Don’t worry M!MC, the dentist isn’t that scary.” Beel tried to assure them. By the way M!MC was still kicking and screaming, they were not convinced.
“Y-yeah kiddo, suck it up! Don’t be a baby! I’m just gonna take my car there-”
“MAAAAAAMOOOON?!”
“YIKES!”
Lucifer had the important task of keeping a hold of Mammon as the very large group made their way to the dentist’s office.
A devious little idea popped into L!MC’s head as they all sat down in the waiting room. They began to hum a familiar little tune.
“She said be a deeeentiiiist~ a dentist!” L!MC sang to M!MC, who’s attempts to escape increased tenfold after hearing the song.
A!MC began to hum along, not seeming to notice the commotion going on next to them.
“Son be a deeentiiiiiist~ people will pay you for causing them PAIN! She said be a deeentiiiiiist~”
Belphie perked up and smiled deviously as he realized what L!MC was doing, he began to sing along as well. The three were a veritable choir of terror to poor M!MC. Mammon did not understand his child’s terror and was more unnerved by what a great team Belphie and L!MC made.
Satan rolled his eyes and tried to focus on his book, Asmo was absorbed in his magazine, Levi was having a very in depth conversation with the fish in the aquarium, Simeon and Solomon chatted about school, and Luke was stuck watching the train wreck go down.
Thankfully, it was halted by Lucifer. “L!MC, A!MC, Belphegor, stop tormenting M!MC with show tunes.”
“You would have made a good dentist in another life, Lucifer,” Belphie cooed. “You know what they say, the only difference between a dentist and a sadist is that one has newer magazines.”
Asmo grimaced at his magazine. “Is it the sadist? Because I’m reading a magazine from 1843...”
The conversation was interrupted by one of the dental hygienists coming into the waiting room and saying that Mammon was up first. The Avatar of Greed’s final escape attempt was foiled by Satan (not even looking up from his book) clotheslining him.
Thirty minutes later, Mammon emerged from the forbidden dentist room, with the look of trauma in his eyes and eating a lollipop.
One by one, the group went in, A!MC took it upon themselves to try and make the rapidly panicking Luke feel better.
“It won’t be too scary, in the human world dentists are usually very nice.” A!MC smiled encouragingly.
“I-I’m sure that’s true but...” Luke looked around. “We aren’t in the human world...”
Asmo skipped back in and flashed a blinding grin to the group. “Absolutely perfect, no flaws! It’s your turn, A!MC!”
“If you die I get to say I told ya so!” M!MC shouted as A!MC walked into the dentist’s room.
They did not in fact, die because of the dentist. A!MC walked out and gave a thumbs up. “The dentist said they had never seen a kid with such perfect teeth.”
“That’s my baby!” Asmo chirped.
“M!MC, you’re up.” A!MC and Beel had to practically drag the poor kid out of the room and into the dentist area of doom.
“GO BE A DEEEEEENTIIIIIIST!” Belphie and L!MC shouted one last time as the doors shut. Wow, what dickheads...
Mammon probably would have tried to save his poor little bugger, but he was in the middle an impromptu therapy session with Simeon over the scary scraping dentist knife thingie.
Beel was the last to go, and he walked out of the dentist’s room with his face covered in blood, the dentist walked out after him, missing a hand.
“You tasted like toothpaste.” Beel sighed. “Not good.”
“Don’t worry,” The dentist said to Luke, who looked like he was about to pass out. “My hand will grow back in about four to five minutes.”
Luke, still terrified, nodded. L!MC patted him on the shoulder.
“Anyway, almost all of you are fine, but I have to recommend M!MC to the orthodontist.” The dentist flipped through their notepad one-handed. “Their secondary set of fangs are coming out crooked and need to be corrected with braces immediately.”
M!MC sat calmly for a moment, then attempted to sprint out the door. “NO NO NO NO NO!” One of the dental hygienists grabbed them by the back of their shirt and halted their escape.
“Sucks to be you.” L!MC smirked.
“And L!MC needs to fix their cross bite, braces are a strong possibility.”
The colour drained from L!MC’s face as the news dawned upon them. “Pardon, but what exactly are you talking about..?”
“Your top jaw and bottom jaw aren’t properly lined up.” The dentist explained. “It will lead to problems later if it’s not fixed now.”
Lucifer rubbed his temples and sighed. “L!MC, if you try and run away I swear...”
L!MC stiffened and shook their head. “I’m not some coward, I’m not running away. Just... what exactly are you going to do to my mouth?”
The dentist pulled up a few pictures of the braces and explained what would be done. L!MC nodded, and turned to their father with a big smile on their face.
“It won’t be so bad, mind if I go to the bathroom before I get the mold for my teeth made?”
Lucifer nodded and almost audibly sighed in relief. He basked in the glory of having a child that wasn’t afraid of the dentist and faced their fears like an adult-
L!MC sprinted past the dentist’s office, they had busted out of the bathroom window.
“...Beel.”
“Yep.”
A few minutes later, Beel returned with a completely irate L!MC who was screaming their demands to be put down and be allowed to run for the hills. Taking advantage of the distraction, M!MC ran for the door again, only for Belphie to tap them on the forehead.
M!MC collapsed into a snoring heap on the floor.
“FATHER! DON’T MAKE ME DO THIS!” L!MC practically screamed as they tried to wrestle themselves out of Beel’s bear hug.
Lucifer rolled his eyes. “L!MC, calm yourself down. It’s just braces.”
“AS EVERYONE HERE AS MY WITNESSES I’LL NEVER FORGIVE YOU FOR THIS! NEVER!”
The half-demons in need of braces were dragged right back into the dentist’s area... poor fools.
“They’ll be okay... right?” Luke asked.
“Of course they will be. It’s just braces.” Simeon patted Luke on the head. “They’ll both be fine.”
The scream that came from down the hall right after Simeon said that did not reassure anyone.
“Hey,” Mammon piped up. “How much do braces cost?”
“From what I know about dental procedures,” Satan rubbed his chin. “A few thousand Grimm.”
“Mammon if you try and run for that door I will cut your credit card into a thousand pieces.” Lucifer growled.
Overall, it was a fairly average trip to the dentist. 0/10 would not recommend. A few weeks later L!MC and M!MC were fitted with their mouth prisons- I mean braces, and the two cousins bonded over their horrific mouth pain...
Seriously- braces suck.
——————————————
So! Those are the headcanons! Four and a half whole parts... phew... To all the people who enjoyed this series, thank you so so much for reading! You guys have been so super nice!
Fret not, I plan on writing more for this universe! From what I know about season 2 of Obey Me things will get... interesting. Stay tuned for more! Or don’t, I can’t force you.
...or can I?
248 notes · View notes
daaziscoolbesties · 3 years
Text
minecraft endermen are really weird. theyre unnatural and make me feel off.
when i was a small child like seven years ago i would always play minecraft on creative mode and i made an ugly ass enderman "farm" made out of bricks. i had an enderman spawn egg and id just spam it and the enderman couldnt get out (so i thought). anyways having them in this enclosure was probably so i could feel "powerful" over them because to date theyre still the only mob in minecraft that makes me anxious. even above skeletons(which i used to have a horrible fear of (the real life ones not mc ones)) and spiders (which i still have a horrible fear of (again the real life ones not mc)). anyways the endermen just ended up completely teleporting out of the farm and i checked on my world the next day and they were all gone and i didnt appreciate it (this was the same world where my brother blew up my pets but thats a different story).
anyways back to endermen. besides the fact that i just didnt like dying and i did like building ugly structures, one of the main reasons i didnt play survival much for a while, or if i did id put it on peaceful, was because of the enderman. every time i passed one my heart would drop and if i happened to look it in the eye on accident my throat would feel like its closing up and idk why. if it sounds like im bullshitting you or not remembering correctly i swear im not because it still happens actually.
i play survival a ton more now simply because i enjoy it more, it feels like theres actually a goal to achieve, but i never really make efforts toward said goal(ya know, beating the dragon). none of my worlds are really created with the intention of beating the dragon, and therefore i dont have to worry about endermen. if i happen to be outside my house and theres one there, no worries i just wait for it to go away. it may spook me for a sec but im fine.
but recently me and my sister started a world with the sole purpose of beating the dragon. we may have cheated a little (like putting on keep inventory cause honestly we both suck at pvp and have died so many times) but its okay cause thats it. we still have to fight endermen to get pearls for the end portal. and so we were hanging out in the nether and made a little two block tall hidey hole and id stand by the front and taunt endermen to get them to come close so i could kill them without them being able to get to me and it worked really well actually. except for the fact that to get them to come near i had to get them to aggro onto me and to do that i have to look them in the eye and you know where this is going. and so i was like "it has been so long since i looked an enderman in the eye surely i cant still be scared of them" and i turn to my sister like "<sister> you stay in the hole ill get us some pearls"
so i go out and taunt the dudes and guess what bitch got the pit in their stomach from these fuckers!! thats right bestie and my throat started to close up and i started talking to my sister again but i could tell me voice was off from it and i dont know why it happens but it pisses me off. like theyre not even scary looking theyre just a bit odd. and i continue to do this and kill the endermen and it just. doesnt. stop. my throat keeps closing up and im not "in pain" or anything just inconvenienced like what the fuck dude its a bunch of fucking pixels. i dont know its weird.
and now this part is gonna sound super fuckin stupid but ever since i started watching dsmp i immediately got attached to ranboo (cc! and c!) and knowing that c!ranboo was half enderman made me really think "hm endermen arent that bad. granted i havent interacted with one in a while but still not that bad. perhaps my favorite hostile mob" because you know people get attached to characters and think dumb things. and then again ranboo's character straight up existing and also this one specific headcanon i saw that was like "endermen use telepathy to talk so when a player looks at them all their thoughts get projected into them and it hurts their brain :((" makes me feel kinda bad for aggro-ing them and killing them again even though its literally just some pixels dude. my brain is not kind to me about this stuff and its really dumb.
i dont know what about the endermen staring back at me sets off the sort of fight-or-flight that makes me unable to breathe for a second but its something. its not the fact that their jaws basically unhinge when theyre mad because the throat closing up sensation happens before that. it happens when i look at an enderman and it looks back up at me and holds my gaze. i dont know. i dont know why im worked up(even slightly) over a video game. theyre still my favorite hostile mob i think (not just because of ranboo honestly the other hostile mobs just kinda suck).
and also i like the idea of how humanoid they are. not human. humanoid. they have the basic aspects of a minecraft human- square, head, torso, legs, arms, eyes. most mc skins dont even have mouths anyways just eyes. but the endermen have these features differently than us. their eyes are unnatural, legs and arms too long, body all one color, one that can blend in, and you can only see its purple eyes staring you down from a distance. theyre basically just cryptids.
despite skeletons and even zombies looking closer to the player than the endermen, they still seem the most human-like of all of the mobs. they arent aggressive unless provoked. they dont like eye contact(socially awkward). they like picking up stuff and moving it around. theyre curious (i cant explain this one they just are, okay?). even the sounds they make are just phrases like "hey" "hello" "whats up" distorted and in reverse.
i want to know more about them.
i want to know where they came from.
why theyre found in every dimension.
why they sound like us.
i want explanations, i want to know why they scare us.
i want to know if they know.
if they know that we're like them in some way.
that some of us dont mean harm, but for others thats all they want to do to the endermen.
i saw a post once that said "what taught humans to be wary of things that look human, but arent?" i believe the phenomenon is called uncanny valley. what if in the minecraft universe, the thing that taught us that was endermen. or rather, the thing that taught the endermen that was us? because again, the endermen pose no threat to us unless theyre provoked. by one of us. the endermen try to communicate with us- "⊑⟒⊬" "⍙⊑⏃⏁⌇ ⎍⌿?"- but we kill them without reason. thats why they dont like eye contact, its been ingrained in them through evolution that eye contact with a human/player will end in death, and they dont want it to be theirs, so they attack first.
we- or rather, the first minecrafters, maybe (in the lore(?)) people before the game, taught the endermen to fear us. i mean we literally kill them, use their remains to enter their home dimension, and then kill their leader/mother. they do their best to stop us, but we can respawn and they cant. and then, some people even go as far as to make farms, having them all spawn in one place, crowded, cant teleport out- their only defense mechanism gone- and then are slaughtered for their pearls. and due to the mass of these farms there will be chests upon chests full of pearls that no one's using, i saw someone the other day ask what people do with them and someone straight up said they just burn them like god what a waste.
"but izzy, players make mob farms all the time and not just for endermen!!!1!!11! why are the endermen ones so bad why are you only talking about those1!1!1!!!1" 1) because i can, 2) this is an endermen-themed post, and 3) i dont like the other mobs. and of course im not actually mad at the players who like beating the game and making endermen farms and such, i mean thats what it is its all just a game just a bunch of code, 0's and 1's, so why does it matter why bother writing a whole post on it?
because when you look paste the game, when you read in between those ones and zeroes and discover this non-intentional lore, it can make things so much more,, interesting. this is fanfic material. hell, its probably fanart material too. its all for the content to see what the community can create i guess. or maybe i just really like talking about endermen and this has been on my mind for two days now and once i started typing i couldnt stop.
but yeah, thats my final thoughts.
we, humans, experience uncanny valley about the endermen.
but the endermen experience uncanny valley about the players.
79 notes · View notes
yoshkeii · 3 years
Text
Bokuto Confession hcs!
Tumblr media
࿐ character: Bokuto Koutarou
࿐ genre: fluff, soft, confessions!
࿐ requested by: GreenTheSimp on Ao3!
࿐ imagine/scenario: “some Bokuto headcannons on how he asks Khai out? Plus maybe him being a goof towards his s/o.”
A/N: fyi, most of these will be coming from my Ao3 since I started writing there first! it’s not much and i generally don’t proof read these so im sorry if there are small errors, this one is a bit longer since I made two chapters for it. im so bad at writing istg,,
Tumblr media
≫ ──── ≪ Confession Time ≫ ──── ≪
❀ First, Bokuto would be oblivious to his crush and his feelings for you till it was brought up multiple times by his team, and eventually at the volleyball camp from the other schools. Most likely Kuroo nagging him about the certain someone, Khai, Bokuto talks about so much.
❀ You and Bokuto were friends for quite some time, maybe at least a year or so. And being in the same class as him, you guys had time to interact with each other and even plan hangouts whenever you could.
❀ And yes, this man talks 24/7 about you without even noticing- this varies from your interactions during the school day, your conversations during classes and lunch, stupid dumb texts you guys have once in a while, the answers you give him from the many of many questions he asked you... the list goes on and on. This makes it easy for his friends to identify his fucking crush on you. him being so oblivious about it hurts their brains istg
❀ He's extremely bubbly around you, super friendly and kind but you usually brush it off as his normal personality. ibetyou'llbeoblivioustooaboutit.
❀ Once Bokuto awakened to his crush and feelings for you he found it extremely difficult to act like it was normal before. The slight blush on his cheeks was a much solid shade. His heart skipping beats every time he saw you walk in the room. Your laugh, your smile, anything about you made him so nervous around you now. When you directly smile at him, hearing your laughs at his jokes or actions will make this man just seize to exist.
❀ Bokuto can't stop thinking about you after that thought, always finding his mind wandering to the dorkiest, sappy shit thing he would do with you.
❀ Sometimes he found himself avoiding you at some points just so he can keep himself in check and not be an embarrassment around you-
❀ He still craves your attention but he gets a lingering fear he might mess something up so he has an internal fight with himself and it just- hurts him sm- poor owl,,
❀ Akaashi finds himself trying to motivate and support emo Bokuto at these moments, usually through texts or calls when they aren't near each other etc.
❀ You would generally think he would just confess to you as soon as he had the chance but actually took this on a slow thoughtful ride. To the point, it did affect his skill at practice, which notified his teammates about it fairly quickly. Bokuto was so deep in thought about it all he was unsure how to process his confession, when, where, what would make you happy, if you liked him back and such.
❀ This eventually leads to him asking Akaashi, the team, and friends (from the other teams' ofc-), on how he should confess to you. All of the answers didn't seem to fit Bokuto in a comfortable way either, which is hella surprising. Before he decided to do something pretty simple.
❀ Earlier today, Bokuto asked you to wait for him a few minutes after class. Knowing you two had different club activities after school, him having volleyball and you have [Khai's favorite activity]. It was the best option to get your attention since your clubs ended at different times made it difficult. And so you did, meeting him outside of your classroom, just you and him.
❀ Bokuto felt anxious about being alone with you, especially like this.
❀ "Hey, Khai..?"
❀ "What is it, Bo?"
❀ That little nickname you gave him, always and I mean always made his heart skip 10 beats. The blush on his cheeks grew a shade darker.
❀ "Wanna walk home.. t-together...?" Bokuto quickly mustered out the words, knowing his throat would dry up sooner or later.
❀ Both of you actually took a similar route home after school, which you guys figured out on a rainy day.
❀ "Oh, sure! Don't you have practice though?" You tilted your head innocently, your hair moving as well revealing the smallest of details that made Bokuto swoon.
❀ "Coach said we should rest for our game tomorrow"
❀ "Ah- that makes sense, I forgot about that-" You giggled lightly before you took the lead of heading out of the building.
❀ Bokuto froze at your giggle before you dragged him behind you. Your hand softly around his wrist. "C'mon slowpoke," you teased.
❀ He smiled slightly before he caught up to you. Walking aside from you at the same pace.
❀ It was an awkward walk. Bokuto was oddly quiet which made you slightly worried.
❀ "Bokuto? You alright..?" You finally broke the silence, looking up at the Ace to your right.
❀ "P-perfectly fine!"
❀ "You stuttered."
❀ "Did... I..?"
❀ "Yes, dummy- What's wrong?"
❀ "I-... Damn it. Khai."
❀ Before you knew it, he pulled you into a kiss. His large hands cupping your face as he planted his lips softly onto yours, pulling away from a little with only a few inches from your lips. Bokuto looked straight into your brown eyes, staring back with his golden eyes. The blush on his cheeks flushed with shades of red.
❀ "I like you. Wait- No.. I love you." Bokuto muttered softly, feeling his breath on your lips made you shiver.
❀ You just giggled, before it grew into genuine laughter. He widened his eyes removing his hands from your face.
❀ "H-hey..!! What's so funny!?"
❀ "It was so obvious Bo~"
❀ "Was.. was it!? I-"
❀ You cut him off, "I love you too Koutarou."
❀ Him hearing you use his first name WITH you saying ily to him, made his day. A bright smile plastered on his face, he hugged you lifting you up and kissing your face all over.
❀ "HEY HEY HEYYYY!! Khai likes me back!! Actually, Khai LOVES me!" Bokuto exclaimed happily
❀ After that, Bokuto was back to his normal, loud, excited self throughout the walk. You guys began to have your simple conversations again, him poking you with questions trying to get to know you even more. Having the lingering doubt he had from rejection and negativity was lifted-off from him. He even mentioned having your first date so soon-
❀ He couldn't wait to bring the news to his team and friends.
❀ He can't wait to see you by his side every day.
≫ ──── ≪ Confession Aftermath ≫ ──── ≪
❀ After the confession, Bokuto would rarely ever leave your side. So he does get clingy to you as he does with Akaashi. He's not much for PDA but he's also not against the thought, he unconsciously hugs you, wrapping his arms around your torso, waist, arms, and sometimes around your neck at least- Sometimes light kisses and pecks but those are generally rare unless he's really excited about something.
❀ He gets really flustered sometimes when you addressed him as your boyfriend the first few days and maybe weeks after starting the relationship. He's just not used to it- It gives this hunk of a man butterflies in his stomach a lot.
❀ Whenever you guys had to leave each other for your designated classes, you tend to find cute notes in your locker whenever you open them. Having cute phrases, flirts, compliments, and silly pick-up lines. You already knew it was from Bokuto because you... sometimes catch him lurking around your locker- just never brought up to him knowing it would genuinely make him sad.
❀ Bokuto just finds it cool that you don't know at first okay-
❀ You always tried to go to his practices and even games when you guys were just friends. Knowing that if Bokuto saw any of his friends out in the stands made his confidence skyrocket so much-
❀ But since you guys are now in a relationship, it makes Bokuto smile so much every time he spots you in the stands of the crowds. Cheering him on boosts his confidence so fucking much- like if this man is in emo mode please cheer for him, it helps a ton (Akaashi and the team might thank you also-)
❀ Long-lasting phone calls that continue till like 3-4 am. Sometimes facetime/video calls if you both have the ability to! He loves seeing your face, he finds it so fucking adorable with all your smallest features and details.
❀ Bokuto probably changed your contact name on his phone to something like "baby owl" with like emojis or something- or literally, just nick (pet) names he has for you- "baby, bae, cloud, cutie, feather, angel, king/queen, prince/princess" and so on. He looooves having names for you because it makes him smile every time he finds things that remind him of you (which generally is how he figures some of them out-)
❀ Whenever this man finds you sad, upset, stressed, or literally in any negative emotion. He will try his damn hardest to make you feel better even if its the slightest, and if it is the slightest he'll keep going to you are perfectly fine and dandy.
❀ He'll even go out of his way to skip practice if needed to comfort your sad butt- He'll give you cuddles, so many cuddles. He's practically a cuddle monster so better prepare for how long you'll stay in his arms afterward-
❀ Whenever you guys are just cuddling in general, he loves to nuzzle his face into your hair, your neck, and shoulder. Just craving the touch and comfort of his lover. Even if it's the slightest of motion, he'll take whatever he can get!
❀ Continuing on the cuddling situation, one of the secret things he loves about you is how you smell. The shampoo you use for your hair, the body wash, perfume or cologne.
❀ Since it's fall season (as of I'm writing this ofc-), Bokuto will drag you around for some walks in the cool weather through parks. Honestly hoping to find leaves to pile and fall into with you! I'd think one of Bo's love language would be quality time (and words of affirmation.) So hanging out with him makes this owl the happiest man to walk on this planet.
❀ Whenever you are cold on these walks, he won't hesitate to wrap his arms around you. If it's a specific part of your body that is cold, for example, your hands. He'll definitely hold his hands over yours. Maybe planting a kiss on them afterward (accidentally getting flustered seconds later-)
❀ Bokuto might also just stare at your hands clasped together, noticing the size difference for the 100000000000000th time
❀ Honestly, he likes to use Instagram and Snapchat filters with you. It's really cute af,, he's such a dork for couple things
❀ Body issues? Bokuto will love every part of you no matter what, comforting that every part of your body is perfect as it is. He'll softly plant kisses wherever you feel insecure. He'll cuddle you till you agree with him that you are a perfect human being.
❀ Don't try to sneak out of it. He's hella stubborn with topics like these- He ain't that dense and dumb guys,,
A/N: I love me some Bokuto huuuuu
165 notes · View notes
lunarmessenger · 3 years
Note
hi!! i wonder if i could request a one shot angst with saeyoung. so mc have a huge anxiety and she always closed up everything even after she's with saeyoung. one day when saeyoung snapped at her out of stress, she end up missing for like around two weeks without any traces even saeran cant help saeyoung to find her
after searching for the whole times they end up finding out that mc got in accident and still in the hospital because her injuries was so bad and actually someone from rfa (u can choose who) try to hide this from saeyoung because mc told them everything
i know its quite hard im sorry 😭
ohohohoho anon you give me too much power for requesting an angsty prompt. i hope you enjoy, thank you so much for this request! I will have to split it into quite a few parts because otherwise...it’ll be much too long haha ^^;; - luna xx
p.s. sorry requests are taking so long!! the holidays have been insane, but i promise after christmas and new years i’ll go back to posting regularly!
warnings: graphic depictions of major injuries, mentions of hospitals, and mentions of mental illness.
word count: 1.9k
(pt. 2) (pt. 3) (pt. 4)
Hard Regrets (Pt. 1) - 707 x MC
Her nimble fingers switched on the heater as a cold chill ran through the house, hands reaching up to the small blanket she’d thrown over her shoulders. The soft patters of rain thumped against the roof of the apartment, the only sound competing with the rain being the soft clicks coming from Saeyoung’s computer and the flicker of paper as Saeran read through one of his many books.
She smiled fondly as Saeran’s eyes danced across each page, filling his mind with the story as he burrowed deeper into the couch. That smile faded as her eyes slowly switched to his brother, her boyfriend, the man hunched roughly over his desk as he typed furiously. Empty cans of soda and crinkled bags of honey buddha chips littered both his desk and his floor, causing her to sigh as she walked over to help clean up.
This project had ended up being one of his longer ones, tomorrow making it about two months since he was assigned the task by Jumin. She was used to seeing Jumin overwork Jaehee, but now that it was affecting Saeyoung the way it was...it made her anxious. Of course his exhaustion worried her, but he became much more irritable when he became fixated on an important project.
Within the past month he’d grown incredibly distant so that he wouldn’t have any sort of distractions, and that meant that she didn’t get to spend time with him as often as she wanted to. The last time she’d reached out to him he had glared at her, telling her that while yes, he loves you, he needed to finish this project.
“No distractions, MC.” She whispered softly under her breath, a reminder he himself had given her the last time she interrupted. All she’d wanted from him was a hug. She slowly approached, bare feet softly tapping against the wooden floors as she made her way over. She was a couple of feet away from him, stopping as she hesitated. Maybe coming up with some sort of excuse would help guide him away from his computer? It wouldn’t be seen as a distraction since it wasn’t selfish; more like a welfare check?
“Are you boys up for some tea?” Saeyoung didn’t move an inch, mumbling a rough no as he continued to type and click across the screen. She visibly deflated, the bags under her eyes from lack of sleep growing heavier from his rejection. He hadn’t even been sleeping in their bed lately; he would sleep right there, on that god damned desk of his. She was snapped out of her rejection at the sound of the couch cushions moving; Saeran gave a small smile as he book marked his page, placing the book on the coffee table as he stood.
“I would love some, MC. In fact, I’ll help you make it. Come on...” The soft tone of his voice was a nice contrast in comparison to the rough rudeness of Saeyoung, the weight on her chest slightly lifting as she walked with him into the kitchen. Saeran grabbed the tea leaves while MC weakly grabbed three glass mugs; despite Saeyoung saying he didn’t want any. She readied the kettle, pressing the on button and watching as the blue light illuminated the dim kitchen and the water slowly started to come to a boil.
“MC...I’m sorry that Saeyoung is...the way he is.” The sudden apology from Saeran made her eyes widen as she turned to look at him, parts of her long hair falling into her face as she cleared her throat.
“What? Oh, no I mean...I guess...” She tried to think of an excuse for him, tried to come up with reasons on why it didn’t bother her that he got so invested that he not only forgot about her and Saeran, but forgot to take care of himself. Her eyes grew hot with tears for a split second as she shook her head.
“I just, I don’t know what to do. I can’t be honest with him about anything, because the last time I tried he...” She started to visibly shake, the only thing keeping her together being the sudden tap of the kettle signaling the water was ready. When she’d interrupted him before he almost flipped the chair because he was so angry; her distraction had caused him to mistype due to ruining his focus; according to him.
The only people who knew how he was making her feel was Saeran and Zen; the thought of the two men’s kindness towards her when Saeyoung was the way he was when he was writing made a soft smile grace her exhausted face once again. Though she hated to admit it, sometimes she wondered why she had not moved on to either Saeran or Zen. Both men would treat her the way she deserved, and she knew that, really she did.
But Saeyoung...she just loved him so much.
The way he was when they first met; how he had tried so hard to push her away and he just couldn’t. Because he didn’t want to. She didn’t want him to either, and she stayed because she knew that he loved her. Something in him changed, she can’t really remember when it happened; it just did. When he got a new project it was like MC didn’t exist; and he acted like he didn’t treat her that way when it was finished. No matter how much she hated it, no matter how much it made her cry; she just couldn’t leave.
All because she loved him.
“MC...? Should we take these to the couch? Maybe I can read you a couple of chapters?” She was snapped back to attention by Saeran, giving a slight nod as he took two mugs and she carried the last one. The sweet smell of honey and chamomile filled her nose as she slowly walked over to Saeyoung’s desk, his body still in the same position she had left him.
“Saeyoung...” Her voice was soft as she tried not to startle him, her anxiety slowly building with the tension as Saeran noticed what she was doing.
“Wait, MC; maybe we should just leave the tea over here?” She paused furrowing her brows as she tilted her head and slightly turned towards him.
“Then how is he supposed to know we at least made him a cup?”
“MC—” She turned back around to continue walking when her foot caught on one of the empty cans, causing her to lose her balance as she let out a gasp.
“MC!” She tried to redirect the cup as it flew out of her hands, the hot tea splattering all over Saeyoung’s desk and computer. Her heart sank in her stomach as Saeran was instantly at her side, Saeyoung leaping from the hot temperature and the sparks that flew around his desktop as he yelled.
“Are you...are you kidding me? Are you fucking kidding me?!” His voice boomed throughout the apartment as he turned towards her, golden eyes filled with rage as he loomed over her. He was so angry that he hadn’t realized her hand was red from being burned; she’d managed to get most of the tea spilt on her in an attempt to salvage his tea. 
“Oh, MC...oh God you’re burned; we need to get you to a hospital.” Saeran helped her up but Saeyoung was quick to push them apart, getting in her face as he pointed at his desktop.
“Do you know how long it took me to figure that out, MC?! You’re so fucking lucky that I had a back up running at the same time because I swear to God...” His voice was low, teeth clenched and nose scrunched as he angrily glared at her. Saeran grabbed him by the hood, yanking him away from MC as she shook from his outburst. He has never physically grabbed her and yelled at her the way he just did.
She watched as the two brothers went head to head, noses almost touching as they screamed back and forth. It became too much for her as she got up, trying not to catch their attention as she slid on her shoes and slowly opened the door. The rain had started to come down harder, the wind howling as her loose bun instantly came undone and wildly blew her hair around her face.
She almost, almost second guessed her decision until the sound of glass breaking caught her attention, the mug of tea that was supposed to be hers now smashed in pieces by one of the walls. Saeyoung’s chest was heaving while Saeran got up from a squatted position; almost as if he’d dodged whatever Saeyoung threw.
 Those pieces mirrored her heart; that mug was one that Saeyoung had bought her when they had first started going out. A picture of a cat had been printed on it, the cat making a winking face as the phrase I meow you! cradled the toon cat. It was one of her many prized possessions, and he had smashed it like it meant nothing to him.
That finalized her decision.
“What, Saeran? Stay out of this!”
“Are you so damn selfish that you haven’t realized that your girlfriend has burned half of her body to try and save your desktop? We need to get her to a hospital! Now!” He quickly turned to where she was squatting down by the wall, pausing when he realized that she wasn’t there anymore.
“MC...?” Saeran’s brows furrowed as he walked down the hall, leaving Saeyoung to cool off as he looked back towards his computer. The monitor screens were black as the tea slowly seeped into his keyboard and monitors. The more anger that left his body the more he’d realized what he’d done, his body slowly going into shock as he stared at the broken mug on the ground. The pink heart was in pieces, the larger part covered in brown tea as Saeran’s voice slowly became white noise in the background.
What had he done?
This entire time he’d been an absolute shit to his girlfriend; the one person who had supported him from day one. He slowly shuffled over to the broken pieces, socks growing wet from the spilled tea as he picked up the pieces.
“What have I done...?”
“Saeyoung! Saeyoung she’s gone!” He slowly blinked, not even bothering to adjust his glasses and messy red hair in tussles as he put down the glass and pinched the bridge of his nose.
“What?”
“She’s gone! Her phone is on the coffee table, and she didn’t take her bag! Saeyoung we have to find her; there’s a storm outside and she’s by herself!” Saeran was rushing to put on his coat and grab an umbrella, his boots clunking against the floors as he grabbed Saeyoung’s shoulders.
“Saeyoung, if you love her, you need to get off your ass now and help me find her. Now!” He slapped his dumbfounded brother, forcing him on to his feet and throwing a coat at him as he grabbed one of the many car keys hanging from the key shelf. Reality sank in as he threw on his sneakers, grabbing a beanie from the coat rack and tossing it on. He felt his stomach churn as his hand brushed against her coat and scarf, grabbing the scarf she always wore and wrapping it around his neck.
We have to find her, we have to find her.
I have to find her.
131 notes · View notes
dystopiandilfs · 3 years
Note
I am never been so close to anti-stan then I am right now. Dreams Twitter fanbase started the biggest hate train on him because they themselves:
1. Took his inital tweet with the drugs comment as a race issue, like it was obvious that was not the intent or even the focus.
2. Got mad at his completely rational reply to a toxic Stan that used both white and adhd as an isult - the toxic Stan was saying his fanbase will dogpile them, well if you didn’t phrase your concerns in a toxic way in a public place maybe you wouldn’t be concerned about it. Like he empasised he had no intent to relate it to rap - and they see him say rap and fucking ran with it.
3. Got mad at him for disagreeing with someone generalizing his 23 million fans as anti-black, like even his stance on stans is entirely anti-generalizing, he literally denounced any that are in the same comment.
4. Bullied him into unprivating his account because they can’t share screenshots apparently.
5. Got mad a him for tweeting a fucking heart.
Then they turn around and blame the entire thing on the antis, like no. You blew it out of proportion and reacted like shit to everything he did. You are the problem. All the responses to his last tweet are “educate yourself and reflect” and “come back with a better apology” like no. He apologized when he shouldn’t have and you cyber bullied him. They are bloody proud of theirselves for “holding him accountable“ for something they misconstrued.
He needs to delete that stan video because they aren’t worth it.
First thing i want to say is that this post is going to be joint answered as evangeline is white so this is going to be answered by her and me as im half african half american. Normally evanageline would be voicing her opinions and adding ours in if we had any but as its a racism issue she didnt feel comfortable to voice only her opinions. However shes the one writing the post apart from this bit to keep up the consistentcy of the blog page. -Trinity (Basically Trin gave her thoughts using a voice note and I slightly edited it so the sentences were a bit more coherent and added both mine and the other admins opinions as Trin doesn't really use twitter unless it's through my priv account - Evangeline)
I will say that a lot of the fan drama that you see are a smaller group that is known to attack and harass Dream and anyone who disagrees with anything. Eventhough they are a small group they mass reply to everything and make themselves look bigger than they are. Not only that but the only thing they end up doing is overshadowing the original issue at hand which is fans harassing and being racist to eachother. So a lot of what I'm about to say is mainly what this group is doing and isn't at all a reflection of a lot of fans but it is something that needs to be talked about especially since a bunch of this groups members are either white or white passing but get mad on black people's behalf and is basically setting them up.
I don't mean to be rude or dismissive but a lot of people used this as an opportunity to trauma dump. Like I know going into horrible details about what you have to deal with is the only way to get the point across sometimes however harassing Dream and spamming him with stuff like "I was harassed because I'm gay" "I was doxxed because I was Asian" is lowkey weird. Like why are you telling this random guy on the internet that you were doxxed? What is he going to be able to do about it? Also not to defend Dream but how are you going to sit there and break one of his few boundaries whilst trying to educate him.
On top of that the issue was originally how racist some of the fandom are to black people but then other minority groups started talking about how they were also being stereotyped and attacked but all this is doing is talking over other minorities. For example a large group of fans started off talking about how they were being attacked by other stans because of their skin colour but then immediately started to harass and threaten others. Like some were clearly not being serious but dming people and update accounts to retweet and spread awareness isn't the move you think it is. Obviously a lot of them were genuinely trying to spread awareness and were trying to get the respect and treatment they deserve but all of that was being overshadowed by the few that were attacking and harassing creators and fans. Then a lot of it turned into minorites fighting each other over who was more oppressed which just makes the whole thing seem like petty drama.
I will say a lot of them were lovely. I am pretty uneducated on race based issues and how certain things effect people and can be racist so I was asking a lot of questions and most of them were nice. However I also got a lot of snarky ones like "google it" to questions that weren't general like "Is it mocking to call white people crackers and token white boy if you are a white person" or "is ______ considered micro aggressions"
However as usual it went from trying to educate your creators to who is the most oppressed and who can bring up more past drama that has already been addressed multiple times. I'm not being funny but the fact that some well known Dream antis were defending Dream and shitting on stans should really tell you how non productive this is. It went from "Hey Dream this comment is a bit weird can you delete it please" to "Dream you should stop being friends with this person and you should follow this person otherwise your racist" Like that's not helping anyone. The only thing that it's doing is breaking Dreams boundaries, setting Dream up and making stans look bad.
Like people were @ing Sapnap and George telling them to "collect the racist friend" like how is that spreading awareness. The whole thing went from being a good chance to educate to a big fucking joke that just made a lot of people upset and anxious.
Honestly the whole thing was pretty fucking hypocritical like you can't talk about being harassed whilst harassing people into hearing you out. A lot of the issues seemed really gatekeepy to me as well. One that I saw constantly get brought up was that the only people allowed to say dy*e were black lesbians as they created the word. Like a big topic was a misuse of aave but not a single person actual explained what it was or gave examples all I saw was "mcyttwt needs to stop using aave language it's offensive" like you can't claim to be educating people if you don't explain. Not everyone can access websites and caards that get linked because of regions or web rescrictions so they're not helpful either.
HOWEVER I will agree that a lot of their points were completely valid like the whole thing of "Feral Feb" over shadowing BHM and whenever Dream listens to rap people complain and call it bad music are two really good examples. I listened to a few twitter spaces to learn a bit more and things that were said in there was all good info that would be genuinely helpful to know and it really did help edcuate me however not a single tweet said any of it and that's why people don't understand what they're doing is wrong because nobody explains it.
A lot of the issues that people had with Dream were so weird as well like a lot of them were self oppression and turning normal things into racism. A lot of the issues had the same energy as the 404twt fans who were genuinely mad at Dream for having a colour that George couldn't see and they were harassing him and claiming that he was purposely excluding diasbilities.
Usually we would add more but Trinity got a bit upset and stressed so she had to stop answering various asks and the other admins are all white or white passing and don't feel like it's our place to put our own opinions. We will try to answer other asks with similar thoughts later - Evangeline
14 notes · View notes
Text
Hey @vindicatedvirgil remember this prompt you sent a while back that was supposed to be Rociet but I changed my mind? I finally finished the original!
At the Last Second
Summary:   Inspired by Snowing in Venice by Elizaveta. In an attempt to get as far away from their hometown as possible, Janus decides to go to college in Venice, Italy. Roman is conflicted over his feelings about it and doesn't know what to say until the last second.
Warnings: asthma mention. Please let me know if there are more
Ships: Janus x Roman, Rociet
WC: 1, 985
General Taglist: (ask to be tagged generally or in specific writing.) @im-an-anxious-wreck @logans-library @janus-is-an-adorable-snek-boi
Maybe my song, isn’t happy enough but I
I see it take flight with the snowflakes above
My coffee gets cold, as I’m staring enthralled 
At the snow that keeps falling outside
-----
Roman snuck another glance at Janus when they thought he wasn’t looking, seeing him still smiling slightly and nodding along to whatever song was on that Roman couldn’t concentrate on right now because they were looking at Janus. It wasn’t as if this was a new occurrence, they looked at Janus all the time. When he took half assed notes during class, pushing his soft, straight hair out from in front of his eyes with practiced impatience. When he glided along beside Roman on his skateboard while they tried desperately to keep their eyes on the sidewalk lest they flip over the handlebars of their bike. When he walked towards them with that signature crookeds smile, straight backed but casual and always ready with some biting quip they would both laugh at. And now- when he was driving to the airport for college, Roman sat beside him destined to waste away in the small town they had grown up in, alone and forgotten.
Admittedly that was dramatic even for them but it felt true all the same. Roman had never really gotten along with Janus until high school hit, when Roman had actually started looking away from their own little bubble and out towards everyone else’s. For the life of them they couldn’t imagine why they had ever been enemies. Janus was smart, scarily so sometimes, often getting into debates (arguments) with Logan and Virgil in any given class and always seeming to have just the right phrase or quote or research paper handy to pull up on his phone that drove his points across. He could sing, though Roman didn’t admit they had heard him while he painted the theater sets one day until many months later; his beautifully haunting baritone filling the theater as if he was the only one ever meant to sing in it. He was also incredibly caring, helping Roman through rough patch after rough patch and letting Roman do the same for him. They had become nearly inseparable from ninth grade on but now-
Janus had always been smart and always wanted to move as far away from their hometown as possibly- namely his family but that was another topic entirely. Roman had helped him research colleges when they were in eleventh grade, jokingly saying that with all his dramatics and flair he should go to Paris to study, citing it as a place to find the romanticism he alway put into everything anyway. Learning he had taken that to heart as a possibility to get even further away, eventually enrolling in and getting accepted not to anywhere in Paris, but instead Venice, Italy had nearly torn Roman in two. They had been so incredibly happy for and proud of their friend but they selfishly wished he had stayed just a little bit closer. Roman dreamed of a teaching job, somewhere they could help out in the creative department helping kids like them come out of their shell and discover new talents and passions. They didn’t need to go overseas for that- they didn’t want to and was in the process of preparing to move a state over to go to a community college to start out that path.
So Janus was moving thousands of miles away for who knew how long (four years at least) and Roman would then only be furthering that gap with his own move, leaving them to letters and skype calls as the primary source of communication rather than their trips to the cake shop or late night talks at the local park. And Roman knew that should be enough, but he was already missing the weight of Janus’ hand in their own and his warmth at their side during movie marathons and their smile and laugh and stupid, sarcastic sense of humor. They snuck  another glance over but realized with a start Janus was looking at them, his hand off the wheel and- when had the car stopped? They couldn’t possibly be there already could they?
But they were, and Janus was looking at them with that all knowing look that always infuriated Roman to no end but he said nothing, instead reaching over and squeezing their hand before moving to get out of the car. The airport wasn’t really that far away from their town, just an hours drive to the edge of the city but Roman still felt they had just wasted it pouting instead of actively being there for their best friend. Janus wouldn’t say anything though, he probably knew how Roman was feeling before they knew themself but the knowing silence was somehow worse, filling the space between them that was about to get so much longer with too many words and not enough time to say them. Nevertheless they grabbed up a bag and smiled at the other, shutting the trunk after him and following to the waiting area. They had made good time, having a little over an hour to waste before Janus would have to board, which Roman had previously been ecstatic about but now it meant they might actually have to talk and they didn’t think they’d have the common sense to keep their mouth shut when it came to how they actually felt about him leaving.
“Roman, did you leave my medical bag in the car?” Janus’ concern pulled them out of their head as they looked around where they had decided to sit, sure it had been among the things they had picked up but they didn’t notice the unmistakable bright orange anywhere.
“I’ll go check, you stay with the bags so they don’t get stolen.” Janus nodding to give them the go-ahead had them turning on their heel and hurrying back towards the parking garage, twirling the keys around their finger as they went.
One thorough search of the car later and Roman was frantically texting Janus that they must have left it at the house, though how either of them had managed it they couldn’t fathom. 
Roman: I’ll just drive back and get it. Text you when I find it.
Janus: Hold on, let me get there since you left me with ALL THE BAGS
Roman: It’ll be faster if I just go. Let me be the dashing prince to rescue your trip!
Roman started the car up and quickly put it into reverse, not really thinking about practically stealing Janus’ car from him. Their phone buzzed from the passenger seat as he glanced in the rear view before pulling out completely, wincing as he saw Janus standing there where the car had just been parked. Several buzzes later and the car fell silent, making them bite back a laugh at the ridiculousness of the situation. They had wanted an out from the tense hour that waiting for the flight would have been, they just wished it had been something a bit more low stakes than forgetting a bag with Janus’ epipen and inhaler inside. Settling further down into the seat they concentrated hard on the road, praying there wouldn’t be any traffic.
-----
Ten minutes.
Roman practically face planted on their way out of the car, swinging the bag up in triumph of finding it or fear of breaking it they didn’t know and was too busy to think about at the moment. Tearing through the air port as fast as they possibly could they finally found Janus standing near the line people were in to board the plane, glancing at his phone before looking around for any sign of Roman coming with his bag. In their haste they had forgotten to text him but they were here now- sweaty, gross and aching with all the things they wanted to say but didn't have time to even though they probably wouldn’t have taken the chance when they had it anyway. As much as they so wished this moment to be their happily ever after it was too soon in both of their lives for that and they’d have to come to terms with the fact that long distance anything was hard and they would both be busy with their own lives.
Pushing their bangs away from their face they finally reached Janus and held out the rescued bag, chest heaving from running through a house and then an airport. 
“You truly didn’t have to go all the way back on your own to get this Roman, but thank you.” Janus squinted at him and chuckled. “It’s a good thing I have this, do you need my inhaler?”
“I’d have to keep it since looking at you takes my breath away already.” Roman blurted, opening their mouth before they could think.
Janus blinked, then scowled playfully. “Roman Sanders, was that a pick up line? You waited until I’m about to leave the country to flirt with me?”
“No! ...well, yes but- I’ve flirted with you plenty before!”
“Jokingly!” Janus shoved them before grabbing at the front of their shirt and stepping closer. “You are insufferable.”
Roman hardly dared to breath as Janus leaned in closer, hands fluttering nervously at their sides as they stood still and waited. Smiling, Janus leaned up slightly. “May I have a kiss goodbye then?”
“If you don’t I will scream so loud security will take you and then you’ll have no choice but to stay here longer.”
Chuckling Janus stepped closer, erasing any pretense of space between them. Finally deciding their hands would feel less awkward resting on the others’ hips, they pulled Janus forward gently and tilted their head with his. The general din of the airport faded away as soft strands of feather light hair tickled their nose and Janus’ hands came up to tangle in their own somewhat frizzier hair at the nape of their neck. There was an announcement that vaguely sounded like Janus was being called to board but they were only held tighter as their lips finally, finally met.
And oh.
They almost wished they could sue Disney only on the merit that it had set their expectations for a first kiss entirely too low. There were no fireworks, no choir to set the mood further. It didn’t feel like the climax of their life nor like coming home after a long and tiring journey. It was soft, so very soft. A simple brush against their lips that filled them with an indescribable amount of joy for such a small action; and then they were being pulled and they followed willingly, pressing against the other just a little tighter. Their noses bumped despite the angle and Roman’s hands still felt awkward even if Janus hadn’t brushed them away but it felt like nothing and everything they had always dreamed it would be because it was Janus so it was good and perfect and like nothing they had ever experienced or wanted to experience in their life.
It only lasted a couple seconds, Janus pulling away only to peck their nose and whisper a quiet “see you later” against their lips and he was gone, hurrying towards the plane as the last call for his appearance was announced. Roman stood there, dumbfounded with a burning face but a chest that was burning  ten times hotter, hands still slightly outstretched where Janus’ waist had been moments before. Shaking themself out of it they turned swiftly and made their way over to a bench by the windows to watch the plane take off. Four years in Venice for Janus, four years in Pennsylvania for Roman.
They could do that.
-----
Maybe my song isn’t happy enough but I
I see it take flight with the snowflakes above me
My coffee gets cold as I’m staring enthralled 
This work is also available on AO3!
At the snow the keeps falling outside
If you like this please reblog! Reblogs helps creators get their work seen!
30 notes · View notes
Note
hey ummm im tipsy too because it's my flatmate's birthday and I'm literally a lesbian woman but sometimes I worry I might not be lesbian and it scares me because I'm scared of men but sometimes I think a man is attractive (like my flatmate) and idk why I'm msging you about that, sorry if it's weird. but you seem to have very valuable insights about life that not many others have (somehow?? idk?) and I respect and appreciate that.
oh it’s not weird! i think one thing i have learned is that it is 100% okay and healthy to hold your own sense of who you are lightly, and to not feel so attached to a particular label that you don’t allow yourself lots of space to grow and change as you have new experiences or meet new people who bring out different facets of yourself. to me the label of ‘lesbian’ is not an Essential and Immutable Truth about who i am (ie something that can never shift or change over time). instead, using that label speaks to a decision i’ve made about how i want to orient myself in the world, how i want others to perceive and interact with me, and where i choose to channel my energy & attention.
when i first came out i spent many, many years feeling like i had to justify and “prove” that i was “really” a lesbian and that i was ~~~pure~~~ of any flickers of attraction or interest in men (there’s a conversation about internalized biphobia to be had there, but we’ll save it!!). i have described this phase (which i think characterizes many young or newly out lgbtq people’s experiences) as “the push,” because for me it was basically like, to get myself emotionally, intellectually, and socially free of the rigid constraints of compulsory heterosexuality, i had to PUSH really, really hard, to get enough distance between myself and all of that stuff. i had to shove it as far away from me as possible to lessen the chance that it would suck me back in. that was a normal and necessary part of moving into a more openly queer identity, and for many women who identify as lesbian the “push” involves completely disavowing any past interest in men or relationships with men or emotional attachments to men.
the push isn’t a bad thing! like i said, i think it is quite necessary at first, especially since women are subject to even more of the “are you sure? i mean, you’re not really gay, right? maybe you just haven’t met the right guy / maybe it’s just a phase / maybe you just couldn’t get a guy to like you / maybe you’re just afraid of men so you’re pretending you like women” bullshit than gay men are. but it’s a phase that i think most people eventually are ready to move out of (well, unless you are on twitter, and then you just live in the wake of the push forever and ever i guess). and that’s because it can be quite an intense and anxious headspace to live in, as you often feel a lot of pressure to “figure yourself out” (ie pin down what exactly you are -- are you a “real” lesbian or not?), as well as a lot of pressure to prove to yourself as much as to other people that you are who you say you are, or whatever. so it’s stressful to live there, and it also requires you to draw a lot of really hard-and-fast lines (like, “this is what a REAL lesbian is, and i’m only REAL if i follow all of these rules or check off all of these boxes all the time, and if i slip up maybe i’m not actually a lesbian, and i’m lying to myself and everyone else”).
over time i’ve come to hold my own identity more lightly, and to demand less certainty and fewer fixed answers of myself (and of others, too!). the identity label i use doesn’t really matter all that much to me - what matters is 1) that i am able to arrange my life and relationships in a way that makes me happy, and 2) that others respect the choices i make (something that’s not always within our control). right now, “lesbian” is the word that i like best as a descriptor, but i also know that labels are very, very generic categories that almost have to be emptied of specificity and nuance in order to encompass a very wide range of people. to borrow & repurpose a phrase from the transfeminist theorist emi koyama: there are as many ways of being a lesbian as there are lesbians. lesbian is just a general catchall umbrella category for an incredibly diverse range of lived experiences, histories, self-understandings, sexual and romantic choices, life narratives, etc etc.
if lesbian is the word that works for you or feels like the closest approximation to how you want to identify & be perceived by others, then call yourself a lesbian! it is completely and totally fine to be a lesbian who sometimes finds men attractive, or who finds herself attracted to a specific male friend. there’s nothing wrong with that! personally, i am a lesbian who has had important emotional and physical relationships with men in the past, and it’s possible that in the future maybe i’ll meet someone who i really click with who happens to be a man. it’s not maybe something that i would go looking for, and if it did happen, it would certainly prompt some soul-searching, as does any new experience that surprises us or complicates the stories we tell ourselves about who we are and what we want. but holding my identity labels and my sense of self loosely means that i don’t have to feel as threatened by the possibility of changing desires or a shifting understanding of who i am & how i want to arrange my life.
my real true belief is that the vast majority of people are probably capable of forming deep emotional and physical attachments to any kind of person, if the circumstances were right and the person was the right person at the right time and we were open to the possibility of an attachment. i think that very few human traits or preferences are ‘hardwired’ into us in fixed and unchangeable ways. in general, most of our traits are influenced by a combination of nature and nurture, or genetics + experience. so like, idk, maybe some of us who are born cis women are slightly more predisposed than other people to find other women attractive. but nurture, lived experiences, environment, social and culture influences, and the stories we tell ourselves about who we are all play a much, much more important role in determining how we make sense of that predisposition, and whether we come to use words like “lesbian” to identify ourselves. so the type of rigid, stridently defended boundaries or definitions we often feel the need to invoke & defend during the "push” are even less useful here, because how could a fixed set of black-and-white labels (which, btw, only emerged in the last 100-130 years) possibly encompass or account for the wonderful heterogeneity of human experience?
anyway i guess this is all a very long way of saying that i think your worry is completely understandable, and certainly something i spent many years of my own life feeling! but i also think it can be nice to hear from other queer women that there’s a place a little further beyond that, which is basically just this realization: i am who i am, and i accept myself as i am right now, while also understanding that “who i am” will continue to evolve & change my whole life long. you are a lesbian if you say you are a lesbian, and if you want to have a crush on your male flatmate or find a male celebrity attractive or even try pursuing something with a male partner, that’s okay: it doesn’t mean your lesbianism isn’t real, or that you are now going to be pulled back into a compulsory heterosexuality you worked hard to push yourself away from.
but it also doesn’t mean that lesbianism is where you have to stay forever, just because that’s where you’ve landed or what has felt right for you up until now. it’s completely okay, normal, and healthy to allow yourself that space to change. maybe you’ll move into a phase of your life where “bisexual” or “queer” or “pan” will feel like a closer approximation or a better shorthand for how you understand yourself & want others to understand you. or maybe you’ll come to find some other word that you like better, or maybe you’ll decide that you don’t even want or need a word to live your life the way you want. the point is that you aren’t fixed in place. you are free to explore and to experiment and to try out different ways of orienting yourself in the world. and you should do so, in ways that feel exciting and affirming and right for you.
23 notes · View notes
your-world-with-nct · 4 years
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
💌 • 7:06pm
markie ✨: you can stop ignoring me now
markie ✨: i won’t call or text after this y/n, i promise
a sigh of relief escaped you as you skimmed over the notification on your lockscreen, not wanting to actually open the text in case bestfriend!mark would see that you had read it.
it was hard avoiding him all day, but after the atrocious event that occurred the night before, you couldn’t face him, let alone text him. just as you were rejoicing at the fact that mark had given up trying to get to you, your phone pinged with another notification.
markie ✨: bc im right outside
markie ✨: oh wait... does that count as texting you again?
markie ✨: ah shit im doing it again, can u open the door pls
“what the— no way, please no,” you winced, hesitating to open the door as your hand hovered over the door handle, knowing that you’d be faced with mark’s pleading puppy dog eyes as soon as you did, and the memories of the unfortunate round of ‘truth or dare’ would come flooding back in a wave of fear and embarrassment.
without realising it, you were already face to face with your best friend, the discomfort from recalling the situation rising in your chest and suffocating you as you locked eyes with him, “mark... why did you come here?”
you stepped to the side, letting him in whilst he instinctively headed for the couch, sitting in his usual spot, but with a more serious expression than he’d normally have.
“haechan told me, about what your answer would’ve been. i-i didn’t ask him to, but he knew it was bothering me, so, uh, he told me, about what you didn’t say, y’know, to renjun’s ‘truth’ question,” mark stammered, his gaze avoiding you and trailing to his fidgety hands.
both your jaw and your heart dropped at his words, pausing in your steps as you approached the other end of the sofa. the unanswered prompt from last night lingered in your mind, ‘tell us one thing about someone in this room that everybody, except him, knows.’
you internally cursed out haechan for exposing you so quickly and carelessly, your panic levels rapidly rising as you came to terms with what mark had just told you, “he... what? no, no way, he wouldn’t have, he shouldn’t have.”
he took the risk and looked up at you once you took a seat next to him, adjusting his snapback and raking his hands through his hair, “hey, it-it’s not that big of a deal, y/n, don’t worry about it, yeah? i-i’m cool with it.”
just as you thought it couldn’t get any worse, mark’s response shook you to the core, the nonchalance in his tone piercing daggers in your thumping heart.
“you, you really think that me liking you isn’t a big deal?” your whole body trembled as you pushed yourself off of the couch and stood your ground in front of him. the floor felt unstable underneath you, as did the foundations of your whole relationship with mark.
“d-do my feelings... really mean nothing to you?” you didn’t hold back, your volume level slowly rising as the dry tears of fury stained your face. the soulless expression on his face did nothing to help the shattering of your heart.
meanwhile, mark sat in disbelief, completely frozen not only by your shocking reaction, but the unexpected words you had uttered. his silence intensified your anger, as he sat with his head in his hands, going over a specific phrase you had said.
“well, i guess that shows exactly how you feel about me th—”
“you, you like me?” your best friend’s timid question sliced through the palpable atmosphere and brought you back from your rampage.
you sank down onto the coffee table in front of him, sitting on the edge of its surface, “wha— i, uh, but, didn’t you already know that? i thought haechan told you...?”
“he, he said that you think i have a potty mouth? and that i should curse less,” mark sported a confused expression on his face, his eyebrows furrowing whilst you processed what he had just said.
unknowingly, you let out a sigh of relief at the fact that haechan lied about the answer that they all wanted to hear from you, “hyuck, uh, made that up, i-i don’t really care about your swearing habits, mark.
“but, you know what? just forget what i said before, i thought he told you something else, you didn’t deserve that... outburst, or me avoiding you all day,” you hung your head in shame, cringing at your accidental confession and the lack of response from mark.
a stray tear rolled down your cheek, followed by a few more that you clumsily swiped away, until you were practically hyperventilating, collapsing into the boy’s arms after giving into his warmth and comfort.
“no, oh y/n, i hate seeing you like this, sweetpea. i-i’ll admit that this isn’t how i expected to tell you, but, i, i like you too, i was just too scared to tell you in case you, well, you didn’t think of me that way,” he spoke tenderly, his breath hitting your neck, and sending shivers down your spine.
you slightly retracted yourself from his tight embrace, your teary eyes meeting his shining ones, “you, you do?”
“of course i do, how could i not fall in love with you, y/n?” mark’s hand shifted from the small of your back to rest on your face, delicately wiping away your fresh tears, “you don’t how anxious i was when you ignored me all day, i-i thought i did something wrong.”
running your hand through his chestnut locks, you took a deep breath to calm yourself, whispering, “mark lee, the only thing you could ever do wrong was think that i don’t love you.”
once again, your body took control before your brain did, pressing your lips against your best friend’s, laughing to yourself when you felt him smile into your kiss.
at that very moment, you had thought of what your answer could’ve been to renjun’s question: ‘the one thing that everybody here except mark knows is that his love will never fail you.’
207 notes · View notes
romanovanoff · 3 years
Text
bio says black widow stories but i do like to dabble with other characters too. ill have a full list on another post.
YOU & I
A Bellatrix & Tom Riddle story
part one
characters:
bellatrix black
tom riddle
narcissa black
andromeda black
druella black
rodolphus lestrange
rabastan lestrange
(tba)
relationships:
bella/tom
narcissa/lucius
andromeda/ted
(tba)
summary: tom is the new kid in school and is already popular amongst his peers. his goal is to have bellatrix black by his side when he conquers the wizarding world, and his only problem? bella is already in an arranged marriage and also wants nothing to do with him.
disclaimer: i have never read the books, and ive seen all the movies only like twice. im not a crazy fanatic potterhead, i just have an unhealthy obsession for bellatrix/helena bonham carter 😌. so apologies in advance if i make any mistakes, regarding whats canon in the harry potter universe and so on. the little things, the big things, my bad. i hope the fact that its mostly au makes up for what it lacks in accuracy.
word count: 3497
——————————
"I overheard earlier today that Hogwarts received a new student," Druella spoke as she took a sip of tea, delicately patting a napkin across her lips before gazing over at her three daughters. Bellatrix, who didn't seem interested at all in the conversation, Andromeda, who was busy scribbling something in her diary, and little Narcissa who was following along to her mother's words.
"Yes, it's true," The blonde girl, thirteen years old, responded. "I thought it strange at first but apparently he and his family were living somewhere in Europe. Tom Riddle, I think his name is. He'd been taught at home and his father had gotten a job at the ministry so they transferred him to Hogwarts."
Ever the gossip, it didn't surprise Bellatrix in the slightest that Cissy knew so much about the new student. She rolled her eyes, wondering why the hell they were even discussing this in the first place. It was just a new student, who cares? She voiced this several times out loud but had received the usual disapproving glances from the two blondes. It creeped the raven-haired witch sometimes at how much Cissy resembled their mother.
Letting out a sigh Bella swirled her spoon around in her teacup, not finding the appetite to drink nor eat the sweets that accompanied her tea. The three of them were currently in Rosa Lee's teashop, a place they often went to every other week, with permission to leave the school of course- though she didn’t ask for it most times. Usually Bellatrix would devour the treats but today she was feeling too anxious to do anything but. At seventeen years old she had stretched out her days of freedom and was now forced into a marriage that should have taken place two years ago.
The thought of marriage wasn't all that bad, if she was being honest. Sometimes when her thoughts and actions weren't clouded with hate and rage she'd daydream a not so near future of a perfect wedding. A wedding where she would be marrying someone she truly loved and could cherish, to honor their vows to the fullest extent. So the wedding itself wasn't the problem, it was who she was supposed to be wed to that was. Her long time childhood friend, Rodolphus Lestrange. And one of the very few in the sacred 28 that wasn't related to the Blacks by blood. At least that she was aware of… The thought still made her cringe, even after checking every family tapestry available and an exhausting amount of research.
Everyone wanted her to be happy about the fact she'd get to marry someone she's known for years, something most pure-bloods didn't have the honor of having, but it was the fact she knew him so well that she hated. He was like a brother to her, albeit at times an annoying and even sexist brother. He wasn't husband material and she was most certainly not wife material for him. And add to the fact that they'd be pressured to have children immediately after becoming man and wife, the thought of having sex with him made her want to gag. You'd think they'd notice that such a practice was incredibly outdated. She hated to wonder if the marriage had taken place two years ago, would they really pressure two 15 year olds to consumate? Fuck this life.
She felt like the world and everyone in it was against her. All her complaints had been shot down, leaving her inwardly seething with rage before being left totally subdued. Oh, how she hated being so… powerless, left without a voice, without a right to do what she wanted and to do so as she pleased, the ever present shadow looming over her shoulder that was the society and family she was born into.
Letting out a sigh she looked over at Andromeda who was still scribbling in that damn book. Probably instant messaging her friends, something Bellatrix didn't have the luxury of having. At least genuine ones anyway. The ones she had in school were merely vultures following around, waiting for the opportunity to eat away at the scraps she bared. They didn't hesitate to use her to their advantage, trying to play her like a fool. Idiots, they should've known she was the brightest witch of her age for a reason. And no one took advantage of Bellatrix Black.
Despite still being superior she continued feeling a bitter pang in her heart, knowing no one truly cared for her there. Well, maybe except for her sisters, Rodolphus and his brother that is.
Catching her eyes on what she was doing Andromeda quickly closed her book and narrowed her eyes at her eldest sister. But then a familiar smirk curled the girls lips and Bellatrix knew what was going to happen before her sister could even utter a word. She knew that smirk anywhere. Bella herself wore that smirk on several occasions, actually even taught it to her dear sister! If only mother knew how truly naughty Andy was, maybe then the heat wouldn't fall upon Bella so heavily when she did something that displeased her.
"Mother," Andromeda chimed in, interrupting Cissy's conversation with the older woman. "Bellatrix is right. Why not talk about something else."
"Andy…" The dark haired witch warned, fingers clenched around her spoon.
"Like… Bella's wedding perhaps? Surely there are plenty of plans to discuss. Some of which I'm sure my dear sister here is needed for?" The brunette suggested 'innocently', smiling back at Bellatrix before looking at her mother.
Druella blinked once, then twice before she brightened up. Damnit, Andy, Bella thought to herself angrily, glaring daggers at her younger sister. "You're right! We only have a short few weeks before the big day and still so much to do. How about we end this little meal early and say we go to one of the boutiques nearby, check up on your wedding dress," Druella said as she rose from her seat.
And so that's what they did. They went to the boutique, checked the incredibly old fashioned dress, with what looked like the most painfully looking corset yet stitched into the fabric. After, they stopped by a few other shops to double check things were in order for the wedding before finally apparating home. The entire time Bellatrix had trudged along reluctantly behind her sisters and mother, offering a few weak comments and opinions for this thing and that when asked of her.
She was glad to finally be back home, finding relief in the knowledge that tomorrow morning she'd be returning back to Hogwarts, having spent the weekend with her family. On one hand she was glad she managed to extend the wedding date, convincing her parents that it might be wise that she finish her last year and take her N.E.W.T.s before focusing on 'wifely duties'. Yes, that was how she phrased it. And yes, they'd taken the bait, obviously wanting their daughter to focus on her marriage once out of school, and not caring about the intelligence hidden behind her usual mask of indifference.
She made short work separating from her family's side to make her way upstairs to her room. And then made even shorter work getting ready for bed. No one ever bothered her when she was up the stairs and hidden away. It was known to all that Bellatrix Black inherited the 'mad' gene in the family, more prone to violent outbursts and destructive tantrums. Because of this her room wasn't the prettiest, constantly being repaired and sparse so there were less objects to break. The room was also constantly being placed under a silencing charm, quieting her screams so the rest of the household could sleep peacefully. How thoughtful of them, she thought to herself bitterly.
The sun was already down by the time she emerged from the bathroom, all scrubbed up and her hair wet, the many strands in ringlets falling down her back. With her wand, she casted a quick-drying spell to both her body and hair, not bothering with any sleeping robes as she climbed into bed. Once in she blew out the candles before getting comfortable under the covers. Usually, it would be too early to go to sleep, and she'd have at least a glass or two of firewhiskey to help her doze off but she felt the whole unexpected wedding planning this afternoon was enough to do her in. Not only that but she did need to wake up early to catch the train back to Hogwarts tomorrow. So without much further thought she closed her heavy eyes and fell asleep, hoping things could be much easier in the future.
THE HOGWARTS EXPRESS
"Tom Riddle is in our class."
"I heard Tom's family is incredibly wealthy and direct descendants to Salazar Slytherin."
"It's true! I overheard him talking to snakes! Snakes!"
The whispers and excited talk continued on and on the moment Bellatrix stepped onto the Hogwarts express. If she thought Cissy talking to mother about this ‘nobody’ annoyed her, she was absolutely wrong. Hearing everyone around her discuss this Riddle boy absolutely drenched her high spirits and put her in one of her dark moods.
No one needed to look twice to know to stay away from the young witch. If dark glaring eyes didn't strike fear into her peers, then the dark energy and aura surrounding her would.
Not wanting to hear the gossip anymore Bella separated from her 'friends' and found a seating compartment for herself, only able to hold two people, but thankfully no one dared claim the other spot. She sat close to the window, forehead touching the glass, and seeming to cool her ever bubbling irritation. Trees and rolling hills passed by in a blur but she wasn't particularly watching, eyes slightly glazed over as she got lost in thought.
So lost in thought she almost didn't notice the sounds of her compartment door being slid open and a person taking a seat across from her. Blinking slowly she looked over to the 'intruder' as the door slid closed once more, leaving the two individuals with some privacy she didn't necessarily want.
The person in front of her was a young man. Probably around her age with dark brown hair, curling neatly at the front. He had bright emerald eyes, warm but she got the hint of something darker underneath, something dangerous hidden beneath the surface and ready to strike unsuspecting prey. Despite that though everything else about him seemed pretty bland. Pale skin- but not as pale as hers-, average build, and put together uniform.
"Who're you?" She found herself asking, swallowing the automatic 'get out' she was originally planning on saying. Given the fact she hasn't seen him before in this school year or any year before that, she was already dreading the answer. She wasn't even sure why she disliked him so much already. Maybe it was the fact he's barely even started school here and yet everyone was already drooling over him. Maybe it was the fact he was well known for things the student body hasn't even had proof of, things he was already praised for. And on her side of things she was well known for her infamous anger and her upcoming marriage to Rodolphus. That or her status of being the firstborn Black daughter. Otherwise known as the current heir of the Black family. Well. That was until her idiot cousin, Sirius was old enough to steal the mantle from her.
So when he said, "Tom. Tom Riddle," She really couldn't stop herself from rolling her eyes. Cause of course the person she had no care for was sat in, of all seats, the one in front of her. "Does that name offend you?" He then asked, wearing the same damn smirk he wore the moment she took in his appearance just seconds earlier.
"No," She said in a bored drawl, eyes once again gazing out the window as her head rested against the glass. "Unlike every other idiot out there, I care not for who you are. You're just another ordinary student attending Hogwarts. Nothing special about that," She told him, her tone consistent in telling him of how much she didn't care.
He was quiet for some time. Not too long, but enough to give her pause and wonder if she'd wandered too deep in thought and he'd slipped away. Only a glance his way revealed that, no, he was still here. "I agree," He finally spoke again. "There's nothing special about me at all. And I'm starting to despise the fact people are so interested in me. Took a look at the school Friday and suddenly everyone thinks so highly of me just because it was a private tour by the headmaster himself," He huffed.
It was clear to Bellatrix by the way he spoke, by the way he talked that he was excellent at charming people, manipulating them even if you would use the darker term. Again, she was many things but an idiot was not one of them and she wasn't falling for his 'charms' or tactics any time soon.
"Oh, poor you," She said in a mocking voice, jutting out her bottom lip as she faced him fully. "New kid in school has everyone fawning over him. Such a terrible life you must live, knowing you have everyone in the palm of your hands with just a smile." She finished the sentence off with said smile before turning it into a sneer.
"I won't repeat myself again. I care not for who you are, and I don't wish to know you or anything about you. So if you're going to sit here, then it better be in silence, or so help me merlin I will curse you. Laws be damned," She hissed. Hopefully for the last time she turned away again, feeling her mood lighten just slightly at her first threat of the day.
Usually, other students would run away by now, flee the vicinity in which she occupied, but Tom just sat there, in shock, or because he actually listened to her words. Finding herself curious about which option she chanced another glance but was surprised to see him wearing that annoying little smirk instead. "Cute," He told her, enjoying the way her eyes widened just slightly before darkening with anger. "That threat might work on others but it won't with me."
Her magic was absolutely crackling around her, like static in the air just before an oncoming storm. She was soon to make good on her threat. "Based on your looks, in how you speak, and the way I saw you walk earlier, looking down at everyone as if they were beneath you. I would safely assume you are a… Black. Bellatrix Black? Considering you look to be in the same year as me," He continued, assuming everything correctly. She didn't need to know though that he'd actually done his research prior to moving here, and that he had asked around earlier. "I don't expect you to get along with me from the start, but you will see me around often. I'll personally make sure of that. Cause I like you," He said with a shrug, smirk still in place.
Bold. Oh, so very bold and before Bellatrix could even utter a single word or even grab and raise her wand for that matter, he was already out the door. The space in front of her was once again vacant and she stared at the now unoccupied seat as the door slid closed.
LATER THAT DAY
It was almost impossible for the raven haired witch to avoid hearing or seeing Tom. It was as if everywhere she turned, someone was talking about him or he himself was staring at her from a distance. Usually she would never admit such a thing, her pride too strong, but it greatly unnerved her. Who the hell did he think he was? Claiming he would see her more often because he liked her? “Doesn’t even know me,” She scoffed to herself, annoyed as she continued on the familiar path to her dormitory.
Bellatrix was a slytherin through and through, like every other Black family member before her. There had been no question about it. Well, maybe after. She questioned it alot. The houses, the characteristics and traits. All of it. And once she's put herself in a more outside perspective about it she really couldn't help but laugh at the whole student body, almost all of them adapting and practically absorbing their houses certain traits into their own personality.
Anyway, she was a slytherin, but she couldn't help but wonder if she'd changed her mindset that first day, if her family hadn't been so adamant on which house she went to, would she have been chosen for hufflepuff, perhaps? Maybe gryffindor? Ew, no. Possibly ravenclaw. These thoughts raced past in her mind as she made her way down into the dungeons. There was a little of her in each, she supposed.
"Drommie, Cissy," Bellatrix greeted once she made it into the girls dorm, having already said the password and walked through the shared sitting room. All three Black sisters shared the same room, something Bellatrix and her mother both insisted and agreed upon to the headmaster when first starting school here. It was a protective thing. Bella knew that her sisters weren't like her, lacking in gut and courage. She was sure Andromeda could take care of herself, at times, but if worse came to worse she was more likely to break under pressure and need rescuing from her bigger sister. And little Narcissa, the spoiled brat she was, didn't have a single backbone in her body, choosing instead to flee or hide behind one's robes. Despite those certain qualities though Bellatrix still loved her sisters dearly and simply made it a priority to keep them safe, consequences to herself be damned.
Sure… maybe it was Bella's fault for them needing protection, having spent most of her years reigning terror down upon those who even glance at her, therefore her peers not liking her and taking it out on her sisters instead. But… hey! They looked at her funny, they deserved it!
"Bella why didn't you sit with us on the train," Narcissa asked, looking at her older sister as she sat on her bed.
Bellatrix rolled her eyes and walked past, towards her own bed furthest in the room and by the window. "As if I'd sit and listen to you two and your friends gossiping about the 'new boy'," She said back.
Andromeda turned to her with a quirked brow. "I don't know, by the looks of it you sat just fine with the 'new boy' before you ran him away."
Bellatrix was only able to scoff as a response before Narcissa quickly interrupted, hopping over towards Bellatrix. "You got to talk to Tom Riddle?" She asked excitedly. "How was he like? Was he charming? Did he show you parseltongue?"
"Cissy, please, calm down. He was none of those things. He was very bland… and cocky, and arrogant," Bella responded, the end getting heated with annoyance. Not towards her sister of course.
"Sounds like someone I know," Andromeda spoke up with a pointed look Bella's way.
"Shut up," The dark haired witch shot back. Because of course she couldn't deny it. She was those things sometimes… all the time. "Whatever. Let’s go. It's time for lunch anyway."
(A/N: lets be honest idk how classes work at hogwarts so lets say bellatrix and sis’s meet up w mother on the reggy, with permission or without, and this particular weekend was a break for all students to either visit their fam or relax in their dorms/explore school grounds. today (mon) is a day for them to get readjusted and classes start up again the following day. anyway continue)
All the way to the great hall Bellatrix's sisters continued teasing her about Tom. Thankfully she took the teasing easily, shoving her sisters good naturedly and joking along. That was until they reached the great hall. She didn't think her sisters noticed but as they walked past others to get to their table Bellatrix could feel a strong force on her, like something digging into the back of her head. She scanned her eyes around the room once, trying to catch the culprit of whatever was happening but all she could see were other students eating merrily, not a clue to her predicament. Thankfully by the time she'd sat down the force had vanished and she could focus back on her sisters.
Tom stood just outside the doors of the great hall, panting and trying to catch his breath. Never had he been rejected so quickly from someone's mind, not even close to breaching it in fact. Her magic was strong, untampered and just waiting to be fully unleashed just beneath the surface. A magic enough to rival his own. She may think she was strong now but oh just wait until he had her with him, by his side. Just wait until he showed her what she's truly capable of.
With these thoughts in mind he swiftly walked away from the great hall entrance, on his way back to his dorm.
16 notes · View notes
yami268 · 4 years
Text
Slayers Artober Day 9: Jillas
Title: Proposal Genre: General Characters: Jillas, Pablou, Elena, Filia, Gravos Rating: K Words: 769
Jillas was taking a big step this day. For some time now, he had been exchanging letters with Miss Elena and her son, Pablou. He had grown fond of them since the time the fox family took care of him. And upon reading the letters he received, he decided to ask Elena a question. An important question that could very well change their lives.
“… I’m not sure if I can do this, boss,” Jillas said, shaking in his boots. Despite the many hours of preparation, he still had butterflies in his stomach.
“Oh, it will be fine.” Filia smiled as she primmed up the fox man. “I’m sure she’s going to be thrilled about the whole thing.”
Gravos, who had been holding some flowers, nodded. “Besides, it’s not like she knows any other fox beast-men.”
“Well, yea, but…” He looked at the two of them with doubt encompassing his face. “Wot if she says no? I don’t think I can ‘andle that sort of rejection.”
Filia puffed her cheeks and responded, “Nonsense! She wouldn’t turn down something like this!” After a few more touch ups, she grabbed the flowers from Gravos and handed it to Jillas. “Now, march right up there and ask her!”
With a push from his employer, he started to make his way up to the house. His legs felt like jelly along the way. Yet he still walked ever closer to the front door. It took time but he finally made it up there. Taking a deep gulp, Jillas, slowly but surely, knocked on the door.
“Coming!”
He heard Elena’s voice chimed as the door opened. There, she stood in front of him with Pablou who was holding onto her dress. She didn’t seem to recognize him at first. But after a quick moment, she appeared to remember him. Her eyes then looked down at the suit he was wearing.
“Why, Mister Jillas,” she began, holding her hand to her muzzle, “What are you doing here… All dressed like that?”
Jillas remained silent for a bit before finally speaking up. “Umm, actually, I just wanted ter ask yer somethin’.”
“Oh…” She then looked down at Pablou with a light blush on her face. “Pablou, do you think you can leave us for a bit?”
“Yes, mum.” Pablou nodded.
“A-Actually! I want little Pablou to be ‘ere for this,” Jillas said, becoming a bit flustered.
Elena looked a little shocked by this request. But after a while of considering, she allowed it. “Okay…”
Getting those dang butterflies again, Jillas swallowed before letting out a light cough. “W-well, Miss Elena, you know we’ve been exchangin’ letters for some time now…”
“Yes…”
“… And I really can’t ‘elp but worry about yer well-being.” He started to twiddle his thumbs. “I mean, I know yer ‘ave managed. But I was thinking about ‘ow yer could use a man ‘round the house and all…”
“Uhh-huuuh.” Elena slightly nodded, both she and Pablou confused by his phrasing.
Despite the awkwardness, the fox man continued speaking. “And… And I was considerin’ that since I’ve changed and found meself a respectable job that I… That I could…”
Jillas was starting to feel the immense pressure as he stared at both Elena and Pablou. Now, his head was starting to fog and jumbling his words around. But he couldn’t let this chance escape him, not after all this time. Mustering up a little courage, he finally asked in a loud voice, “WILL YOU MIND MAKING ME PABLOU’S DEPUTY FATHER?!”
“… Huh?” Elena stared at him with a blank expression.
Jillas looked at her, becoming a bit anxious. “Well, yer, right, Pablou needs someone to show ‘im the ropes and all. And since we’ve gotten along last time, I could visit ‘im sometimes and teach ‘im the things I know. Like workin’ wiv powder and such…”
Elena remained silent, letting what he said sink in. Then, she finally let out a laugh much to Jillas’ surprise.
“Well, of course you can be Pablou’s deputy father,” she said, before looking down at her son. “Will that be alright, dear?”
“Of course, mum! I’d love seeing Uncle again!” Pablou answered, his tail wagging enthusiastically.
Jillas looked at the two, a bunch of new feelings swelling up in his body. But instead of the fear he had felt before, it was an overwhelming yet relieving sense of pride. He could feel the tears forming in his good eye as he wept with joy.
Elena and Pablou, seeing the sobbing fox man, started to comfort him. Meanwhile from a distance, both Filia and Gravos gave him a thumbs-up.
9 notes · View notes
painterofhorizons · 4 years
Text
Author Interview
Thank you dear @jedirangerpenguin and @rpgwarrior4824 for tagging me in this! In theory, I’d need to make two posts here, one for english writing and one for german writing, but as most of you only know/read my english writing, I’ll skip the german part besides some minor additions. Also I only started again to write english fic in april 2020 and have three fic from 2015 in english, but I’ve been writing german fanfic since pretty much exactly 20 years so far.
I’ve seen these float around for some days, so I have no idea who already did it. If you already did, feel free to drop me a link via PM maybe? Anyways, no obligations! Tags go back at @sheeplessthings @calendergirlff @chyrstis @guileandgall @foofygoldfish @swaps55 @lhs3020b @theoriginalladya @ljandersen
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Name: painterofhorizons / starkeeper (on AO3 and ff.de) (and technically a lot other on several accounts in ff.de since 2004)
Fandoms: Mass Effect Trilogy / Criminal Minds (and technically a lot other on several accounts in ff.de since 2004 but I’m not going to speak about them here :D)
Where You Post: tumblr, AO3, fanfiktion.de
Most Popular One-Shot: as for hits and kudos it’s Human (ME3 post-Thessia Shakarian) which is up since 2015 so that’s that; as for comments and general excitment it’s 20 times Akuze almost gets Shepard (pre-ME1 Sole Survivor background fic written in 2020)
Most Popular Multi-Chapter Story: I usually don’t tend to do multi-chapter fic, my preferred way of storytelling is in oneshots and mini-series; DE version: looking at hits/favs/comments it’s Spiegelbilder due to that being my main field of writing with 200k by now, but it’s technically a collection of oneshots; if we’re looking at ‘real’ multi-chapter fic it’s The Aftermath (post Mr. Scratch Hotch mind-fuckery) but that’s kinda abandoned because I suck at multi-chapter fic writing (if it wasn’t abandoned, it could be freaking cool)
Favorite Story You Wrote: 20 times Akuze almost gets Shepard - but that being said, I don’t really have favourites. Usually I work each piece up to the point where I really like it (though sometimes fics just get written because I need to tell a specific thing and it ends up on the pragmatic “thing’s told, even if it’s not my fav piece ever” side), and once I’m satisfied with it, it’s all kinda equals. On the ME side I also really love On the Helmsman’s Watch (Joker/Shepard friendship fic set in ME1), because the process of creating it was so much fun. On the german side, some of the fic I tend to go back to to reread are Why don’t you love me, and Zwischentöne which I haven’t read in a while but still hold close.
Story You Were Nervous to Post: I mean I was quite nervous on the 20 times Akuze almost gets Shepard side because it was the first english piece I wrote after 5 years of not writing english fic, but again: I don’t really get nervous when I post? Of course I get anxious as in “will people like it as much as I like it” and will there be anything on the feedback front, because come on, that’s why we post, right? But I don’t get nervous as in nervous, because I’m pretty confident in my writing and I know that the whole how well is a piece recieved-thing underlies a lot of factors that eventually we have only limited power over. So getting nervous wouldn’t help, and as long as I told the story I wanted to tell, it’s good.  
How You Choose Your Titles: At random. Usually I look for a word or phrase that somehow catches the main topic of the text, sometimes it’s descriptive, sometimes it doesn’t even seem to be related to the storys at all but actually is (Spuren im Schnee) but really, titles are super important to me and there usually goes a lot of thinking into them and I’m always super excited if someone mentions them in a review. :D It has happened a handful of times and boy, that got me hyped!
Complete: As in multi-chapter fic completed on the two above mentioned accounts? None. See, I suck at multi-chapter fic-writing, so for now I said screw it. There is one mcf on a former account in a former fandom that I actually finished and hell, I am still proud af on that. :D
Incomplete: Too many. Not like I lack ideas, right? But mcf and I just weren’t made to walk the same road. 
Do You Outline? Sometimes! Even a 5-10k oneshot needs some structure, so depending on where I start when writing it, I do an outline. More likely (as in 20 times) I start just drafting several individual scenes and snippets, then eventually put them in order and then see where it still needs some actual outlining to get me working on the whole draft. Most of the times I don’t outline though. I’m incarnated chaos.
Coming Soon/Not Yet Started: For Mass Effect: Project Lazarus fic, post-war fic, pre-ME3 grounded Shep/James fic, some more Akuze stuff; as for Spiegelbilder: transforming that into english, yet to be started but I’m very excited about that. And then for that definitely the secret wedding fic. I am SO excited about that.
Do You Accept Prompts? I do! Lets face it, in 9/10 times I won’t act upon them, but I treasure them a lot and really often they get my brain inspired and will somehow start a writing process. So prompts are most welcome. And sometimes, as in Memories carved into flesh (pre-Shakarian set in ME2), they are actually written. :)
Upcoming Story You Are Most Excited to Write: It’s a close tie between the Project Lazarus fic, post-war fic and pre-ME3 grounded Shep/James fic?? No really, I like them all so much and I am very excited to share all of them. And yes, the secret wedding fic for Alex Dancy.
Again, thank you so much for the tag, folks! ^.^
17 notes · View notes
joy1579 · 4 years
Note
Hey. If its not too much can I request RFA finding out MC was abused as a kid after they have a panic attack/episode about something RFA did/said thats usually considered innocent, but has bad connotations to MC? Only if you're willing. I saw some of the other things you wrote and thought you might be ok with writing things like this. Im really really sorry if I'm wrong. Have a nice day.
okay so a couple of disclaimers here
1 i have never experienced abuse so please note that this may not be accurate to real abuse recovery
2 while i have had panic attacks they were few and far between and not connected to consistent anxiety or reliably predictable triggers
3 if you or anyone you know is experiencing abuse or suspects abuse reach out get help. you and they deserve better 
anyway i hope this is okay since its a bit of a departure from my real life experiences 
The RFA when MC who was abused has a panic attack
Jumin
-        When you first break down he doesn’t know how to help
-        He gets down on your level if you’re in a chair he’s knelt in front of you if you’re on the floor he’s right there with you.
-        He talks you through breathing exercises he learned to help with business stress
-        He stays with you no matter how long it takes NO ONE can separate you two
-        It isn’t until you explain that he truly understands what happened
-        He asks you to tell him EVERYTHING that makes you even the littlest bit uncomfortable and he avoids it like the plague
-        He also does a lot of research on how to help someone through a panic attack so he’s prepared if it ever happens again
-        He learns grounding techniques and how to help you visualize a safe and happy place
-        He encourages therapy and begins donating to charity geared towards preventing child abuse regularly
-        He’ll never understand how family could do that, they are supposed to love, cherish, and encourage each other
-        He reminds you that you are a han now and no one will ever hurt you again. He vows to show you what family is meant to be
Yoosung
-        You’re in his arms the second your he sees you break down
-        He rocks you gently and hushes you gently
-        Its repetitive and grounding and honestly helps you calm down a lot
-        As soon as your calm he helps you get ready for bed, he’s never had a true panic attack but he knows how exhausting it can be to cry like that
-        Later he asks what happened and listens intently
-        The whole time you explain he’s deathly silent and your done he pulls you into a gentle hug with shaking hands
-        You’ve never seen him angrier. It’s a cold anger that stole the light from his eyes
-        He’s careful not to let you see how truly furious he is though he might text zen to vent about how shitty people can be but he won’t mention you or parents because he wants to respect your privacy
-        He starts being extra careful about raging at video games so he doesn’t remind you of your family
-        From that moment on he makes sure that you are close with his family he wants you to experience a warm and happy family
-        He also sets about making sure you experience everything you may have missed as a child
-        He wants to replace every bad memory with 10 good ones
Saeyoung
-        He recognizes the behavior in an instant and is gently guiding you to the couch
-        His voice is gentle and slow as he reminds you that you are safe, you’re here with him. You’re an adult and far from anyone that would try to hurt you now.
-        He’s chanting these phrases like a mantra and your nodding along repeating after him to help ground yourself
-        He’s careful not to hold you to tightly or move to quickly and make things worse. He knows all the major things that can trigger those feelings of helplessness and makes sure to memorize the little things that are specific to you
-        He watches your face to know when things hit too close to home for you and always has a way to get you out of those situations discreetly
-        When you explain what your home life was he holds you gently and reminds you that none of it was your fault.
-        He tells you that just because some people should never have had kids doesn’t mean those kids shouldn’t have been born it means those kids deserved better.
-        Honestly you opening up to him helps him open up to you about his experiences
-        It actually ends up being very therapeutic to both of you
Zen
-        When he sees you shaking and sobbing his hands are on your shoulders before he can really think about what he’s doing
-        His grip is firm and steady as he locks eye’s with you his gaze is piercing and he refuses to let you look away
-        “breath with me jagiya” and you slowly start to synch your breathing to his deliberately slow and deep breaths
-        It isn’t until you’ve completely calmed down that he pulls you into his lap and lets his breath go ragged with worry
-        He wants to beat up your family but he knows you need him to be calm right now and he’ll do anything for you
-        He was never physically abused by his family but he knows the emotional side of abuse all too well.
-        He makes sure you know your worth reminding you of everything he loves about you.
-        he hears about “open when” letters from a coworker and makes you a bunch for when your anxious, or sad, or insecure. You keep them on you all the time
-        he’s careful to never be violent around you because he doesn’t want to remind you of your family
-        He tells you that blood family isn’t nearly as important as the family you choose. He promises that both of you will make your own family
Jaehee
-        Doesn’t know what to do when you first breakdown
-        Is very worried and awkward because she doesn’t know what caused the breakdown and doesn’t want to make it worse
-        Once you calm down enough to talk you tell her what happened and her face goes pale
-        She asks if she can hold you because she’s worried you may be touch sensitive right then you nod and she pulls you into a gentle hug
-        She tells you that people often take their own insecurities, stress, and anger out on people who can’t defend themselves. When they do that they are being cowardly and petty
-        She mentions that none of it was your fault you were young and should have been protected and nurtured not hurt and cut down
-        She suggests therapy and does research to make sure you get good treatment
-        She even puts together a panic attack kit
-        It has lavender spray and a pocket watch to help you slow your breathing and focus on something external
-        The kit also has a small notebook to keep track of triggers, panic attacks and thoughts. As well as your medicine if you take any
20 notes · View notes