#(hi this has taken me pretty much two weeks and it leaves a lot of things unanswered that i will get to at a later time | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

footygirl114 · 4 months

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Respaldar (Alexia Putellas X Reader)

Did anyone actually expect me to get the second part out so soon? I bet not, but here we are so enjoy. Part one can be found here

The first week of work was pretty low key for you. Alexia had gone from home to the training ground and back, it was an off week for games so it was relatively quiet. You had spent your first day wondering the training facility and learning the buildings. It was nice that the security was pretty decent and covered the areas you wanted already.

The staff was very friendly and they left you to your own devices, which meant after you did a lap of the facility you found a spot higher up looking down on the field and you got to watch them train. As much as you tried to deny it to your self, it was hard to take your eyes off anyone that wasn’t Alexia. The more you watched her the more you could see why she was the captain and the best football player in the world, she was unreal.

You had played football growing up but at 18 when you decided to join the army instead of school, you stopped playing. It didn’t mean you weren’t a fan but you didn’t have the time to follow it anymore, so this job was actually becoming a treat.

The other benefit of this job was it gave you a lot more down time, you were able to use the facilities gym when the team was on the field. You took advantage of it and generally got a good workout in during their training session. Having perfected your routine you were able to get a work out in and zone out to the music blaring in your ears, which meant you quite often didn’t notice the others in gym.

What you didn’t know was that they noticed you, it was the injured players that couldn’t train with the team, but they told the team all about the hot visitor that was in the gym. Within the week every player had known who you were and the brave ones were teasing Alexia about her hot babysitter. They made sure you weren’t around but when they walked out of the door talking about you and noticed you leaning on the SUV waiting for Alexia the conversation immediately dropped you knew something was up.

“Hola Ms Putellas and teammates” You smiled a them, refusing to lift your sunglasses. It has been warm so you have taken to wearing button up shirts and dress pants, leaving the suit jacket in the car.

You can see the blush on Alexia’s cheek and watch it deepen as her blonde haired tattooed teammate says “Oh hi gorgeous, you know Alexia is super boring, I will make sure to keep you more entertained.”

As she finishes a tall dark haired teammate whacks her across the back of the head and says “Shut it Maria, and start the car.”

The tattooed one is throughly chastised and moves to the car park with the tall dark haired one following with a smirk. You feel a small smirk lift the corner of your mouth as you watch Alexia walk towards you. You move to open the back door and when she stops at the door she says “the blonde one is Mapi Leon our centre back, and the tall one that put her in her place is her girlfriend Ingrid Engen, one of our Defence midfielders.”

“thank you, I think?” you say to her, as you turn to her asking “you know there is no need to be embarrassed.”

“I am not embarrassed Y/N.” she says and you see the blush creep on to her cheeks again as she moves to get in the back of the car.

As you close the door you chuckle and move to get into the driver seat, you meet her eyes in the rearview mirror and say “The blush gives you away Mrs. Putellas.”

Before she has a chance to respond her phone rings and when she looks down with it, she says “I have to take this” and she answers and start talking in Catalan to someone on the other end.

You smile to yourself and put the car in gear starting the drive home, you have to think about the upcoming event and the logistics that you need to handle in order to get her cute blush off your mind so that you can focus on the job and not her.

The next two days you spend trying to focus on work only, and keep any conversations with Alexia to pleasantries only. When Saturday rolls around, the team has an early training and by lunch Alexia has a whole team in her apartment getting her dolled up for the event she has tonight. You had ran down to change and get yourself ready when Alexia was in the shower, and you had spent the last 3 hours sitting in Alexia’s kitchen with your laptop open, but also watching the people move around Alexia.

It was fascinating to watch, you thought she looked the most gorgeous without all the makeup, but watching the crew doll her up was an experience and she looked gorgeous like this as well. When they disappeared into her room to get her into her dress, it was a formal fundraiser event where Alexia was in attendance to represent the woman’s game, you took the moment to collect yourself and remind your self how professional you need to be.

When the team files out without Alexia, they all say their goodbyes and you walk them out leaving you alone in her front entry way. You check your phone and see a text from the driver saying he is out front ready, Turning you step back into her living room and say “Alexia, driver is here, we should be heading” before you can finish you meet her eyes from across the room and are speechless.

You are sure you look like an idiot as you take in the way she looks in the deep blue dress fully dolled up, your eyes are running from head to toe. She moves closer and asks “Is it too much?”

Without thinking about it you answer “No you are absolutely stunning.”

“Thank you” she says with a blush and steps closer to you. “I have to say, the full suit is working for me Y/N” as she runs her eyes up and down your body.

Immediately you can feel the blush move up your neck and you have to dig your nails into your palm to make yourself focus back on the job at hand and you say “we should go.”

She nods and moves to grab her bags and slip on her shoes as she says “let’s go.”

You both get down to the car without another word and you move to open the door, you offer her your hand to help herself get into the car and she takes it with a small smile. The sparks that run up your arm are hard to ignore but you get her into the car without incident and then move to get in the other side to sit beside her in the back seat.

When you are about half way there, you turn to her and say “Ms Putellas, I need you to understand that if I say something about your safety here, you need to listen to me. My job is to make sure you are safe, and I need your cooperation to ensure that happens.”

“Nothing is going to happen Y/N.” she says as she turns to you.

“Humour me then, if something happens and I need to step in, let me and listen to me.” you tell her and you add a bit of pleading to your voice.

She looks at you for a moment and says “okay, Y/N, but nothing will happen.”

You smile and say “Thats the hope.”

The car stops and you look out to see some cameras pointed at the car trying to see who’s getting out. “Damn, I didn’t think there would be this much photographers.” she says with an eye roll.

“I can get you through them Ms. Putellas” you tell her. When she nods you say “put your hand on my back and follow me through the crowd okay?”

“okay” she says in a small voice, before you can get out of the car, she reaches across and puts her hand on your forearm and with a small voice she says “I really dislike crowds.”

You smile at her and move your hand to her cheek, your thumb rubbing circles as you say “I got you Alexia, just trust me.”

She smiles and nods and says “okay, let’s go.”

You move to get out of the car and you elbow your way through the crowd to get to her door, you open the door and make sure your body is blocking the view as you ask “you ready?”

Nodding she says “I know you got me.” With a smile you turn and wait for her place her hand on your back. You start moving slowly and wait for her to balance behind you, she’s got a hand on your shoulder and one on your hip balancing her self. You have to dig your nails into your palm again to focus on the job and not how nice her hands feel through your suit jacket.

When you look back and meet her eyes with a smile and she nods you start to move forward. As soon as she’s in the view you feel the hand on her hip drop as her name is shouted from every side, the one on your shoulder squeezes and you can see her free hand waving to the crowd. You use your training and push through the crowd and when you get about halfway there you can feel two more security guards from the venue push their way through and make you both a path through.

When your free of the crowd she squeezes your shoulder and moves to stand beside you on her own, meeting your eyes for a moment with a soft smile you see her facade fall into place, and the soft moment from the car is forgotten. She moves into the venue and you follow behind, once she’s in the main banquet room you do a sweep of the room with your eyes and keep your attention on the exits noting security at every one.

Smiling internally you know she should be okay here, and you wait till she’s seated before you move to the wall behind her table but a bit away and lean on it watching, but out of sight of most of the guests. Before the speeches start Alexia turns her head and looks around and when she meets your eyes you see the small nod and smile, and you can’t help but to wink at her with a smile.

The rest of the night is uneventful, until it’s time to leave, you see Alexia move to get up and she meets your eyes and nods towards the bathroom. You nod back and watch her disappear through the door where there is a security guard in place. A few minutes later you have your eyes locked on that door waiting for her to come through them, when she doesn’t you trust your instincts and move to pass through them.

When the security guard on the door moves to stop you, you flash him a glare and push past him. What you see in the hallway makes your blood boil. Alexia has her back flat against the wall with two men in her space with recording devices held up to her face, you notice their free hands holding her wrists on the wall. You take stock of how to handle this, you aren’t worried about your safety just hers.

Moving closer to them, when you get within arms distance you say “hey you” and when the first turns to you you grab him by the shoulder immediately pushing the heel of your hand into his nose and he howls in pain and grabs his nose releasing his grip, once he’s bent over you raise your foot and kick him hard in between the legs where he falls and gasps.

Unfortunately it took you a moment to deal with the first one, that the second noticed the commotion and turns once you stand and says “you bitch” and you see the punch coming and you have a second to brace yourself against it to lessen the blow.

The force makes you step back and when he moves to you, you can see Alexia over his shoulder looking with wide eyes and you yell out “Alexia go back to the ballroom now” as you finish he tries to throw another punch and you immediately grab is arm and duck back using his own momentum to put him in an arm hold behind his back and you press him against the wall.

You have your body weight pining him to wall as you hear footsteps behind you and 3 security guards coming towards you. Once you turn and see the guard who came out to help you with crowd control you nod and let him take control of the guy you attacked you.

Stepping back you wipe you nose and lip and see the blood on your hand as the second guard grabs the guy whining on the floor and the third steps up to you and says “we called the police, they should be here soon, they were on standby for anything to happen her.”

“thank you” you say.

He chuckles and asks “need a job? I am impressed you could take out two guys double your size.”

Smiling you nod saying “Most people underestimate me that way.”

Before he can answer you, you feel someone move right up to you and press a clean towel on to your face and hold it to your bloody lip. You meet Alexia’s eye as she says quietly “they’re bringing you ice.”

You nod and move to grab it but she shakes her head holding the towel to your face still and you tell her “I am okay. Are you okay?”

“You saved me Y/N” she says with a small smile.

Before you can say anything else you hear footsteps and look up to see the police coming towards you. Moving to grab the towel from her hand, you step past her and meet the officers.

Almost an hour later, where you refused to let Alexia leave your line of sight you are both done with the police and they release you to go home. They had allowed you to clean up your face and you noticed how your eye was going to bruise, but you do not need any stitches which is a relief. Once you are both sat in the car on the way back, you take a moment to relax back in the seat and close your eyes. You can feel her watching you but you know this is not the time for this conversation.

After a tense ride, you follow her into the lobby and move to go to your apartment, but she reaches out and squeezes your forearm and asks softly “I don’t want to be alone tonight, will you come up with me?”

“Is there someone I can call for you Ms Putellas?” you ask trying to maintain the professional side.

Shaking her head she says “You make me feel safe Y/N, I can sleep on the couch, I just don’t want to be alone.”

Nodding you hold your arm out letting her go first to her elevator as you both wait for it you say “But only if I take the couch.”

Chuckling she smiles and you both ride the elevator in silence. Once you get into her apartment you silently follow her as she kicks off her shoes and goes into the kitchen, where she grabs two glasses and a bottle of wine, she pours you both one and then hands it to you saying “I am going to change, I’ll be right back.”

You nod and grab the glass, removing your blazer you roll your sleeves up and unbutton the top button. Other than that you stay standing in her kitchen, the whole scene running through your head wondering why the heck you didn’t protect her. You can feel the tears in the corners of your eyes and when she walks out in pjs you have to look up at the ceiling to control the tears.

“oh Y/N” you hear and when she moves closer to you, you meet her eyes and cannot take the comfort you see reflected in them.

You shake your head and say “no please Ms Putellas I can’t” as you move away from her and press your back against her cabinets.

She steps closer and softly says “It’s okay Y/N, you do not need to pretend here.”

Shaking your head again you look up at the ceiling as you say “I’m sorry I couldn’t protect you.”

Feeling her step closer but not touch she says softly again “you did Y/N.”

“It shouldn’t have come to that.” you say but you still haven’t looked at her.

She steps closer and reaches up to put both hands on your cheeks, she softly pulls your face down to meet her eyes and says “you did Y/N, I am here un harmed because of you.” She then uses her thumb to run over the cut on your lip and she softly says “you put your self on the line for me, you could have been seriously hurt, so thank you for protecting me.”

Looking into her eyes, you can see the comfort reflected and you want to lose your self in them, when she leans in to close the distance you can feel her breath on your lips. Before they meet you slowly push back and say “I can’t right now Alexia.”

She lets you pull away, but only far enough to meet your eyes as she says “its okay Y/N, tonight has been a lot. Since I saw you come to rescue me all I wanted was to wrap you in my arms to thank you.”

You chuckle and pull her into you wrapping her up and you whisper into her ear “I will always protect you Alexia” and you press a kiss to her hair. You stand there thinking about how things could have ended differently, but you are glad the night ended with her in your arms.

#woso x reader #woso imagine #alexia putellas x reader #alexia putellas imagine #alexia putellas #espwnt x reader #woso imagines

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moonstruckme · 6 months

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helloooo, i have a request if its possible♡

since we got figure skater! Sirius..... Do you think we could get hockey player! James x figure skater! reader? Maybe they go to the same place but the place where they practice its kinda shitty so its literally kinda like an across the hallway situation where the hockey practice happens on one ice rink and when you leave you can walk thru the ice rink of the figure skaters that its on another section of the place IDK I'M NOT AN ARCHITECT SORRY

BUT THE POINT ITS, that one day James leaves practice later than usual and he's walking to get out but he heards his favorite song playing and he goes to see whats up because its his favorite song ever! and goes to the other ice rink and sees the reader practicing and inmediatly he has the biggest crush ever and its almost dreaming about a house and three kids with that cute girl

idk i think i explained myself like sht but hope you like the idea! cause i think it would be soo cute

Hi lovely, you explained yourself perfectly! Thanks for being so patient with me, I hope this is alright <3

hockey player!James x figure skater!reader ♡ 718 words

James’ entire body is pleasantly sore, and he’s very much looking forward to going home to a nice, hot shower.

“Do you and Moony want to go get breakfast tomorrow morning?” he asks Sirius as they leave the locker room. The two of them had taken longer than usual changing out of their gear, Sirius filling him in on the absolute hell week Remus had at his new job. To hear Sirius talk about it, all the other professors are simply jealous of Remus. James is sure that’s partly true, but he’d bet they need less reason than that. Somehow, James had thought leaving school would mean emerging into a more mature world, but adults seem just as petty as teenagers. Maybe pancakes and a good, uplifting chat would do something to take the sting out of Remus’ first week and help prepare him for the next.

Sirius cuts James a sideways look, gray eyes narrowed. “Breakfast at what time?”

“I was thinking six, six thirty.” Sirius scoffs, and James grins. “Only joking. How’s eleven?”

“Still too early,” Sirius grumbles, “but we’ll go.”

James bobs his head, pleased to have a course of action for helping his friend. “Ask Moons where he feels like going, and just…” He hears a faint, familiar melody. “...just let me know.”

“Sounds good.” Sirius pushes open the door, but James has stopped. He’s looking back towards the rink, intrigued. “Coming?”

James waves him off. “In a bit. See you tomorrow.”

Sirius makes an amused sound, not unused to James’ diversions, and goes.

James follows the sound of his favorite song, unabashed about bopping his head to the beat as he approaches the rink. He knows figure skaters sometimes use the rink after his hockey practice has wrapped up, and he absolutely has to see who’s choreographed a routine to this. He comes to a stop near the edge of the bleachers, and watches through the tempered glass as one lone skater launches into a turn.

This wouldn’t be the track James would have thought of for a figure skating routine, but frankly, you’re doing it justice. Your movements are springy and nimble as you glance across the ice, one complicated-looking move to the next to the next. It seems like both skates are never touching the ground for more than half a second. There’s a lot to be said, probably, about your skill, your technique, but James is a philistine. All he can think about is how pretty you look.

You’re gorgeous. Stunning. Graceful in your movements and seraphim in your countenance. A wisp of hair has freed itself from the confines of the rest and whips about your face, but you don’t seem to notice it, your gaze steady and lips just slightly pursed in concentration.

James would never tell his friends because they’d mock him to hell and back, but he does believe in love at first sight. Only under particular circumstances, though. The sight has to be good enough—meaning, he has to see some aspect of who that person is behind a pretty face. You certainly do have a pretty face, and you’re dancing to his favorite song, and James doesn’t understand how he could ever be expected to not be totally enamored with you after this one spectacular look. He worries that if you glance over, you’ll see him with giant cartoon hearts boinging out of his eyes on springs.

The song ends, and you spin to a stop. James’ breathing stops, too, as your gaze lands on a point not ten feet to his right. He wonders if he’s being creepy. It’s not like this is a private rink, and James wouldn’t be weirded out if he spotted someone watching him running drills or something (actually, if it were you he’d be over the moon about it), but he’s been told not everyone feels like he does about that stuff. And though he hardly thinks of himself as intimidating, James is also a big guy. He wants to woo you, not spook you.

You skate to the edge of the rink to restart your music, and James slips out. He hears it blaring softly behind him, and he probably looks like a total idiot when he grins and dances out the front door. An idiot in love.

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fictionalwh0ree · 5 months

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Hi! May I please make a Billie request where Billie realizes she has a crush on her best friend and starts acting nervous and shy around her, and Billie decides to go live one day and fans are asking about reader since she's usually always around and Bil's like "guys she makes me nervous cause I think she's super pretty" and basically admits her crush? Thank you 🥹🤗

cocktail night- billie eilish

summary: you and billie became fast friends, but the celebrity lifestyle sometimes interferes with your plans. you two finally have a free night and decide to have a cocktail night. with alcohol flowing through her veins, billie can't help but confess her crush on you to the world.

word count: 1.4k

warnings: alcohol/drinking, mild swearing

billie eilish was easily your favourite person in the world. despite having met only eight months ago, you guys had developed a bond unlike any other, spending any free time either of you had with each other. you knew you could spend every waking moment with her, and if you could, you definitely would. however, the celebrity lifestyles often clashed and while there were weeks were you could spend every day with each other, there were times where weeks would go by and you wouldn’t see each other. now was one of those dry spells where you hadn’t seen each other in about two weeks. you planned a little cocktail night together when you were both free. the idea had been your suggestion as the last couple of times you had seen your best friend, she had been acting strange. she was flustered and more quiet than usual. you blew it off as some weird way of coping with the stress and work that goes into writing and producing a new album, but thought that a couple cocktails might help loosen her up a little bit.

finally, the night arrived. you unlocked her door with the spare key she had given you and were immediately greeted by shark, who barked excitedly at seeing you. you bent down to pet him as billie ran down the stairs to meet you. with almost as much excitement as her puppy, she wrapped her arms around you in a hug while a large smile adorned her face. once she pulled away, you followed her to the kitchen.

“soooo, whats new?” she asked you.

“billie, we were on call just before i left the house,” you laughed before stuffing a couple chips in your mouth.

“but actually, this guy cut me off when i was driving and the guy behind me honked at me. i was so annoyed. the only thing that got me through the drive was reminding myself i would be drinking soon,” you vented.

“the thought of seeing me wasn’t enough to get you through the drive?” she joked, placing her hands over her heart dramatically.

“nope,” you smiled.

she kissed her teeth and looked away in fake annoyance, but the large smile on her face gave it away. she looked back over at you, your eyes locking, but only for a moment before hers dropped to the ground.

“i did miss you though, for real,” you affirmed.

“i missed you too,” she said.

“stop being so busy all the time,” billie joked.

“says you,” you laughed.

“you know, i think it would save you a lot of time if you had a muse to write about,” you joked, snagging a couple more chips.

“oh really? and who should my muse be?” she said, raising her eyebrow.

“me, duh,” you smiled.

“you’re already my muse,” she said, sending an exaggerated wink your way.

“aww, shut the fuck up,” you said, shoving her playfully.

“okay, come on lets get to drinking,” billie said, switching the subject.

you nodded in accordance and the two of you worked together, gathering everything you would need. as you prepared your cocktails, you downed a couple of shots each, leaving your prepared drinks, which were supposed to be somewhat aesthetic, a very ugly and delicious hot mess. you took your drinks into the living room and billie put on a movie. the two of you were already tipsy before having even taken a sip of your cocktail, and the movie had become background noise amongst your lively conversation.

before long, the two of you decided it was time to change into something more comfortable. thankfully, you had come prepared with matching christmas pj pants which you had bought earlier in the day. you told her to stay in her place, and she waited eagerly for you as you retrieved your bag. you pulled them out with a ‘ta da.’ she matched your energy, shrieking in excitement. she ran upstairs to get changed and as did you. once you were ready, you met her back in the living room, about to sit on the couch before the alcohol finally got to your bladder.

“i’m gonna go use the washroom quickly,” you told her.

she nodded, fidgeting with her phone. little did you know, she was going on live. the alcohol in her system making it seem like a good way to share your matching pyjama pants. she turned it on and within seconds, hundreds of thousands of people had joined. her live had just barely caught the end of your sentence, leading her fans to question where you were. the comments became flooded with comments along the lines of “is that y/n?” and “where’s y/n?”.

“yes guys, it is y/n,” billie smiled, a faint blush appearing on her cheeks as she slurred her words slightly.

“i came on here to show you guys our matching pj pants but she went to the washroom,” she continued.

her fans quickly picked up on the fact that she had been drinking and they had noticed the blush that got stronger with your mention.

“ouuuu she’s blushing,” one comment said.

“her cheeks r so red rn,” another one read.

“guyssss,” billie whined.

“who’s got you blushing like that 👀 👀” someone commented.

billie read it, mumbling the words slightly, before giggling.

“guys if i tell you this you can’t tell anyone okay?” she smiled, multiple fans agreeing and promising.

“y/n makes me nervous cause i think she's super pretty,” she confessed, giggling like a schoolgirl and throwing her phone. she shrieked into a nearby pillow, not fully recognizing what she had done. she picked up her phone hastily when she heard the bathroom door open. the comments were flooded with excitement and support from her fans, and of course, a lot of teasing as well.

“shhhhh, she’s coming back. remember the promise,” she said, turning back to see you a couple feet from the couch.

“what’re you up to?” you said skeptically.

“nothing,” she said innocently, widening her eyes at the camera to remind them to stay quiet.

“uh huh,” you laughed.

“i went on live to show everyone our matching pyjamas,” she said.

“well show them then,” you said.

she set her phone down against her empty cocktail glass and got up, standing next to you.

the two of you backed up until the camera captured you two fully donning your matching pants and white tank tops. she ran back to her phone and sat on the couch.

“why are you acting funny?” you smiled at her, tilting your head.

“i’m not,” she laughed.

“okay billie,” you laughed back.

you sat down next to her, setting your head down on her shoulder, causing her to blush again.

“my parents 😫😫😫,” someone commented.

“this is too cute,” another one read.

“billie u need to tell her,” one said.

“what’s up with your comments?” you asked billie, looking up at her.

“i don’t know what you’re talking about,” she said, looking away.

you shook your head and looked back at the screen.

“billie said you made her nervous because she thinks you’re REALLY pretty,” a comment read.

you barely caught it as billie pulled the phone up above your face.

“you guys are snitches byeee” she said, ending the live hastily.

you sat up straight, looking at her in the eyes.

“i caught that, y’know?” you said.

“they weren’t supposed to say anything,” billie mumbled, a shy smile playing on her lips as her eyes locked on the couch cushion below her.

you laughed softly.

“so whats this about?” you asked gently, trying to coax her attention back to you.

“you read the comment,” she said, voice just above a whisper.

“say it,” you said, lifting her chin with your fingers, “tell me.”

she took a moment to meet your eyes, your faces now only inches apart as you leaned forward.

“i think you’re really pretty,” she whispered, “and i think i might like you, in more than a friend way.”

you finally leaned forward, linking your lips in a tender kiss. she leaned towards you and you leaned back until you were barely upright against the armrest. she pulled away for a moment, looking at you with a cheesy smile.

“you’re so stupid, y’know that?”

#billie eilish x reader #billie eilish #billie eilish imagine #billie eilish x y/n #billie eilish fluff #billie eilish x you #wlw

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prettiestdolliestgirl · 3 months

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Overwhelming ecstasy

pairing: mike schmidt x afab!reader

tags: 18+, soft dom!mike schmidt, sub!reader, loss of virginity, slight age gap (reader is 24 and mike is 27), masturbation, grinding, size difference, piv, creampie, kind of wholesome(?), aftercare

synopsis: you’ve been dating Mike for a couple of weeks now after being friends for years, you haven’t had sex yet but tonight Abby is sleeping over at a friend’s house and you and Mike are finally going to have some time alone.

-> inspired by the song jupiter by flower face

the three of you are standing on the porch of Mike and Abby’s house, hugging the little girl as her friend’s mother is waiting for her to get in the car.

“you can call if you need anything okay? shelly’s mom has my number, you can ask to call me anytime and i’ll come pick you up whenever you want” Mike tells his little sister, kneeling in front of her to hug her.

“i know! can i go now?” Abby says as she tries to pull away from her older brother’s hug, eager to leave and have fun with her new friends.

“yeah of course…” Mike answers.

as Abby lets go of her brother’s embrace, she turns to you and hugs you tightly. you hug her back and can’t help but feel grateful to have both her and Mike in your life. you met Mike as a little girl, both your parents and his were really good friends, and both of your families used to have weekly dinners and go on trips together. of course, that was before the incident with Garret. you’ve always been extremely close to him, helping him as much as you could throughout all of his hardships. you always knew there was something more, even when you were just a little girl, you knew Mike was the one for you. for years, you were pining in secret, desperately hoping one day he would notice that your feelings were more than platonic. miraculously that day happened, two weeks ago, you promised Abby to sleep over and watch movies with her. you told Mike to get some rest while he could as you took care of Abby the whole night. you both had a lot of fun and even though Mike was in his room trying to sleep, he couldn’t help but smile at the sound of your giggles echoing throughout the house. when he woke up the next day, he knew he wanted to be with you, he never felt that way about anyone before.

in the morning the day after you and Abby’s girl’s night, Mike made the first move. you both bantered as usual but you felt a strong tension that was not there before, that’s when he kissed you for the first time as you were making Abby’s breakfast. you were extremely surprised, after years of desperate devotion to Mike, you had started to lose hope that things could escalate further between the two of you. but they miraculously did and even though you were itching to ask what might have made him suddenly express his attraction to you, you preferred to stay quiet so as not to ruin the moment.

tonight would be the first night you ever spent alone in the house together. as Abby is approaching her friend’s mom’s car you both wave, “have fun Abbs! and don’t forget you can call whenever!” Mike yells out as she is now already in the car. the mother inside the car waves as she leaves their driveway. mike is pretty anxious to let Abby sleep over at someone else’s house. he is extremely protective over his little sister which is linked to his little brother’s disappearance but Mike talked to Shelly’s mom enough times to feel like Abby will be safe and well taken care of there.

mike lets out a big sigh as the car is now out of sight and looks back at you. “just us” he says with a slight smirk.

“just us” you repeat with a soft smile.

the both of you go back inside of the house and you decide to get yourself a glass of water. you can’t help but apprehend tonight, you knew things would probably escalate and get intimate between you and Mike but the thing is you’ve never been intimate with anyone before. despite being 23, you never really felt that kind of attraction for anyone, well anyone other than Mike. men often try to get their way with you when you go out to bars or clubs with friends but you never felt an attraction strong enough to actually go through with it. you’ve kissed a guy in high school but that’s about it, you never really understood how to touch yourself properly either so you never had an orgasm before. you often talk about it to your friends and honestly feel like you’re missing out. despite your inexperience, you still want to try your best and make Mike feel good, he works so hard, he is under so much stress, you want nothing more but to help him relax. Mike had that energy, he had something that made you feel protected as if he was in control of everything happening around you, and sometimes you imagine what it would be like for him to control you.

you’re sitting on the couch watching a TV show, not really paying attention to it, instead, you’re thinking about what might finally happen tonight.

you stayed up late at night ever since you hit puberty, thinking about Mike and his calloused hands, his beautiful brown eyes, and his husky voice keeping you up at ungodly hours, just fantasizing about finally getting close to him.

as your college is close to Abby and Mike’s, you have been spending a lot of time with them lately and your dreams about him have become more and more frequent. just thinking about it was making your cheeks all shades of pink. you turn your head to see Mike watching the TV, slouching on the couch, his hands resting on his stomach. you’ve always been attracted to him, but something about him tonight was driving you insane, maybe it was the way his black sweatshirt hugged his broad shoulders or the simple look of his relaxed body but whatever it was, it was making you feel helpless.

you look at Mike sitting next to you and speak up “I think i’m going to take a shower, is that okay with you?” you ask him. “yeah yeah no problem” he says looking back at you, not noticing your flustered expression and the slight red tint on your cheeks.

you got up and got your night dress from your bag and the underwear you had meticulously prepared two days ahead. for your first night together, you opted for a white ruffle nightgown with lace details and a small baby pink bow sitting on its low-cut neckline. your set of underwear also matched your nightgown and it made you feel pretty and comfortable.

you kiss him on the top of his head and proceed to head to the bathroom to take a shower in a desperate attempt to cool yourself off. you undress slowly and get in the shower, the warm water hitting your skin. you get soap everywhere on your body and begin to clean yourself up but can’t help feeling aroused at the thought of your hands being Mike’s, cleaning every part of your body. slowly and hesitantly, your hands travel down to your lips. As you slowly caress the slit, you move your fingers closer and closer to your clit. you begin to feel nice but as always, you’re blocked, you can’t seem to know your body well enough and can’t seem to ever get to your climax. after a while, you get quite frustrated so you turn off the water and decide to get changed. you slip in your underwear and then in your short nightgown, your breasts slightly spilling out of it.

you head back into the living room and find Mike in the same slouched position as you left him. he turns his head to you and you see his gaze slightly change. ever since you moved near his house for college and you’ve been spending more time around at the house that time spent together helped Mike slowly realize that he had feelings for you that went further than a simple platonic bond.

whenever you laughed or played with Abby, he could feel his heart melt. but as he grew up with you, he never really saw you in a sexual light, he knew he was extremely attracted to you but he never really thought of you that way, except since you had started dating. mike felt a bit awkward about it and you two never really talked about it before so when you hugged him a bit tighter than usual and he felt your breasts pressed against his chest, Mike couldn’t help but excuse himself to release the pressure it had caused in the bathroom.

you and Mike never really talked about having sex or sex as a whole, but both of you somehow knew it was going to happen tonight.

you feel your cheeks getting really warm as you feel his intense glare on your body. you sit back on the couch, right next to him and an awkward silence fills the room for what feels like 5 whole minutes. suddenly, you suggest “we could watch a horror movie?” locking eyes with him.

“yeah that would be really fun” he says, followed by an attempt to clear his voice.

you chose the Blair Witch Project as neither of you had seen it before. Mike gets two beers from the fridge and you get blankets to snuggle on the couch. you switch off all the lights and sit next to each other as the movie starts. you love horror movies, you always did but that didn’t exempt you from getting scared when watching them. the lack of light in the room and the loud volume of the television made it impossible not to jump at every single jump-scare. Mike sensed that you were getting quite scared so he placed his hand on your thigh, showing you that he was there and that everything was okay. a jump scare had you by surprise and made you, almost instinctively move closer to Mike’s side. Mike then offers to move even closer “come over here” he says in a soft voice as he helps your body to his lap. you sit on his lap, your head sitting on his shoulder, his chest facing your back.

Mike is holding your body as you are both watching the film, as you get scared you bury your head in his neck until whatever’s scaring you on the screen is gone. another jump-scare makes your whole body twitch but as you do so, you proceed to get higher on Mike’s lap, now sitting directly on his crotch. as your nightgown is pretty short, his jeans are in direct contact with your underwear but you are so caught up with the movie that you fail to notice it. Mike on the other hand couldn’t think about anything else. slowly he felt a bulge growing in his jeans. he didn’t know what to do and the fact that you kept moving around wasn’t helping his case. the movie was close to its end, but Mike don’t think he could wait until then.

slowly and with care, Mike tries to move his hips in a desperate try to hide his bulge from you. it doesn’t, actually it does the exact contrary as his sudden movement snaps you out of the movie’s tension to another tension, the one growing inside of Mike’s jeans. you feel extremely flustered as all of a sudden you catch Mike’s move as one to make you notice his bulge instead of him trying to hide it from you so you decide to be brave. you sat up on his lap, pretending to be particularly intrigued about the end of the movie, and began to gently grind on his lap. you feel his bulge getting bigger under the weight of your body. Mike calls out your name softly, and you look back at him. he gestures to you to move your body to face him and so you do.

you’re now facing him and you smile looking at his face which is only softly illuminated by the television. the movie is now ending and the credits are starting to roll but neither of you move. mike pulls you in for a kiss and you reciprocate, as you do, you can feel Mike melting into the kiss.

his bulge is twitching as you slowly go back to grinding against it. you can’t help but comment at the size of it “what the hell” you murmur almost talking to yourself. mike slowly chuckles at your comment and asks you “do you want to see it?” with a slight smirk. you nod shyly while looking away from him, feeling quite embarrassed. you had no idea of what you were supposed to do or say as you’ve never been intimate with anyone before. you get off his lap and Mike gets up, turns on a small light, and turns off the TV. your eyes follow his every move while you are still sitting on the couch. he sits back next to you and asks you “do you really want to do this?”. you nod again but mike objects “speak up.”

“i… i want to see it mike.” you say shyly followed by a loud gulp. “good girl” answers mike.

mike gets up again, and stands in front of you. he takes a long time to unbuckle his belt, your eyes are glued to his big calloused hands as they’re removing his jeans’ button. as you see him go for the zipper you quickly stop him by grabbing his wrists. you look up at him through your eyelashes and bring your face closer to his bulge, you then start to take the zipper in your mouth and meticulously bring it down. mike slightly chuckles as he finds you trying to take the lead quite endearing.

mike lets his jeans down leaving him in nothing but his boxers. you’re now face to face with his erect member, you have never seen one in real life before and you can’t help but feel impressed.

you look at it, motionless for a couple of seconds before finally caving in, bringing your fingers to mike’s bulge. you touch it hesitantly, tracing its length with a soft touch. mike winces “f-fuck”, you can feel him twitch under your fingers. you don’t know how to interpret his grimace, “did i do something bad? i’m sorry i just really wanted to feel it, i should’ve asked…” you say looking up at him, quickly removing your hands from his body. Mike catches your wrist and pulls your hand back on his crotch “please, don’t stop”.

you obey and draw circular motions on his tip. you look up to see Mike’s eyes rolling from pleasure, this motivates you to be bold. you bring your face closer to his still-clothed bulge and timidly start to kiss and suckle the fabric of his boxers.

Mike needs more but he wants to treasure every single second he has. as he looks down at you, he can’t help but let out a groan of pleasure at the sight. his eyes wandered lower from your face to your breasts. he can’t help but think about the amount of times he grew semi-hard just at the thought of them. your nightgown’s low-cut neckline left little to the imagination, your breasts spilling out of it. he gently cupped your face with his hands and kneeled to be face to face with you, you looked at him with a confused look for a second but he quickly pulled you in for a kiss. the kiss was sloppy and needy, he pulled away and traveled down to your neck, suckling and biting your skin. he stopped to take in the scenery before burying his face between your breasts, kissing and cupping both of them with his hands as he performed circular motions on your nipples with his thumbs through your nightgown. you could feel yourself getting wetter and wetter, bucking your hips for any friction.

mike sees how desperate you’re getting and decides to help you out. he steadily removes your nightgown from your body, reviling your matching underwear set “you had it all planned didn’t you?” he says with a slight smirk forming on his face. you can’t even say anything back as all you can manage to word is incoherent babbling mixed with moans. mike then proceeds to sit next to you and tugs your body on top his his. as you’re sitting on his lap, you hurriedly move your hips up and down, grinding sloppily on his clothed member, trying hard to feel him through your panties. “mike… mike this feels… feels so good” you sound like a mess, moaning and panting while trying to form half a sentence. mike puts his hands on your hips, guiding you as you grind on his throbbing member. « fuck baby if you keep going like this I might come in my boxers » Mike remarks as he groans loudly.

“Mike, I am ready, I want to feel you” as soon as the words left your mouth, Mike freed his cock from his boxers, ready to do just what you asked him to. you let out a small gasp at the view of his girthy member, this turned Mike on even more which he didn’t believe could be possible. Mike helps you remove your panties and you can’t help but feel embarrassed as you are soaking wet. Mike loves it, as you were trying to hide your face with your hands. he gently pulled your hands away « be good for me, let me see your pretty face as I make you cum ».

Mike glides on his hands and guided it to your cunt, the sound you make as his fingers find your clit are almost pornographic. when Mike pulled his hand away you cried out from frustration, he guided his fingers to your mouth “now lick it.” he ordered. you obeyed and tasted yourself while he watched with an intense glare. as you were done scrupulously licking every drop of your liquid on his fingers Mike asked you “are ready for me baby?”. you nod vigorously. he teased you by brushing his tip against your clit which made your body jolt in pleasure. « tell me if it hurts alright? » he says as he knows it is your very first time, you look up at him and kiss him as a way to tell him to keep going. he finally gave his first thrust, his cock stretching you for the very first time. it felt really weird at first but after a few thrusts, you started to get acquainted with the feeling and getting more and more into it. « baby… you’re so tight, feels so fucking good » Mike vocalizes his pleasure as you’re loudly moaning, getting closer and closer to your climax « Mike I’m going to… I need to… ». he suddenly speeds up his pace, until you both came in unison.

you pull away from him and sit next to him, still panting « I’ve never felt anything like this before ».

« neither did i » he echos as he turns to face you, looking at you lovingly. he gets up and gets you one of his t-shirts to put on and gets you a glass of water. « you did so well baby » he murmurs as he kisses your forehead and places the glass of water on the coffee table in front of the couch.

A/N: aaah okay this was my very first fanfic and I was extremely nervous to post this but I have been obsessed with Josh Hutcherson for months now, more particularly with Mike Schmidt he honestly awakened something in me! I have been using tumblr again for a few months now and I’ve been loving it, it feels like such a safe and cool place to hang out! i really missed it! i didn’t really proofread and english is not my mother’s tongue so I am sorry if there is any grammatical errors in this! also I love flower face so much and this song has been on repeat for months it’s sooo good!

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biancadjarin · 1 year

Text

🌾a Roll in the Hay🌾

pairing : perv!em x innocent!countrygirl!reader

warnings : graphic sex, p-in-v, breeding kink (sorta?)

a/n : hoo boy ok so I’ve been thinking about country girl reader and Eddie for a while, went a little crazy on this one. It’s kinda long, but I hope you enjoy! I have a lot of WIPs and ideas for different types of Eddie’s but it really helps when you guys comment/like/reblog so I know what you want to read more of.🧡

MASTERLIST HERE

18+ !!!

You hear the crunch of his boots on the gravel outside the barn, your hands finishing up a braid in your horse’s mane. You feel the excited butterflies flutter awake in your tummy, a smile breaking across your face.

“There’s my pretty little baby.” Eddie coos as he wraps his arms around your waist, breathing in your sweet scent deeply. You’re so fuckin’ cute and innocent. In your sweet little blue and white gingham dress, a little bow tied between your boobs. And you never wear a bra. Fuck does Eddie love that. He swept his eyes down your frame, your soft thighs leading to the smooth skin of your calves, frilly little socks peeking out of the top of your boots.

He holds out a tiny bouquet of wildflowers he picked on his walk from his van to here. Tiny white and yellow star-lily’s, a baby pink prairie rose, a little bundle of baby’s breath. He’s always doing little sweet things to make you smile.

You throw your arms around his neck, pulling him down into a tight hug. “Teddy Bear!” You squeak, nicknaming him that after he won you a little blue bear at the carnival. He squeezes the jiggly skin of your asscheeks in his big, calloused hands and lifts you to wrap your legs around his waist, kissing you like he hasn’t seen you in a week. It’s only been about 18 hours. He spins while he’s holding you, making you giggle and get dizzy. “Put me down, Teddy!” You say as more giggles bubble out of your throat.

This has been going on for a few weeks, after you met Eddie and his friends at the Hawkins carnival, you two couldn’t be separated. He kissed you at the top of the ferris wheel, telling you you’re the most beautiful girl he’s ever met. And he meant it.

“Why have I never seen you around before?” He’d asked, lips leaving wet kisses along your jaw. You giggle into his hair, the feeling of his big hands holding your hips, one of his hands sliding your legs over his thigh.

“I live an hour outside of this town. On a farm.” You reply breathlessly. He pulled back, his big brown eyes looking like a sad puppy’s. “An hour?” He sounded disappointed. He twirls your hair around a finger, his other hand playing with the hem of your tiny Levi’s shorts.

You nod at him, waiting for him to tell you that’s too far away for him to bother. He shrugs, “Guess I’m about to put a lot of miles on my van.” He says, pulling you into his chest, leather jacket arm closing around your shoulder, your head pressed against his shirt, his heart beating fast and the rumble of his voice in your ear. “I’m going to come see you so much, you’ll get sick of me.”

So Eddie drops you down, still holding you close, his tight jeans and black sweater making him look extra cozy.

“Just missed you so much, babygirl. I hate when we’re apart.” He cupped your cheek and you smiled softly, leaning into his palm like a kitten being pet. “I missed you too Daddy.” That’s your favorite nickname for Eddie. His too. It sends a jolt right to his cock every time.

“So what do we want to do today?” Eddie asks, lacing his fingers with yours, swinging your hands gently. You two have gone to dinners, movies, concerts, taken long car rides. Anything to spend time together. But today, you have other plans.

“Mmm… I have an idea…” you sway nervously on your heels. “But I wanna show you something first.”

Eddie’s eyebrows raise curiously, nodding softly for you to continue. You take a deep breath, “okay. well I went to the starcourt mall last week and bought something for you.” “For me? Baby, you know you don’t have to buy me things.” He starts to chastise you.

“I think you’ll like this gift, Teddy Bear.” You push him back gently, telling him to sit on a hay bale. You lift the skirt of your dress up to your waist, revealing the lingerie you bought.

Eddie releases a breath he didn’t realize he was holding. His eyes go wide as he looks toward the opening of the barn, making sure no one can see you two. You giggle, “no one’s home, daddy, don’t worry. s’just me and you.”

Eddie’s brain short circuits as he drinks you in. His soft innocent little bunny, your sun-kissed skin, covered in peach fuzz and goosebumps. A sheer pink lace thong covers your smooth core, little flowers, leaves and strawberries embroidered in the fabric. A garter cinches at your waist, thin ribbons circling around your thighs. Silky pink bows hanging off your hips.

“Wow baby, fuck.” “You like it?” You ask, peeking down. “Like it? I’m losing my mind over it.” He says, hands coming out to pull you towards him. You rest your hands on his shoulders as he traces his fingertips over the ribbons, so dainty and small in his hands.

“I’ve never seen anything so beautiful. Or anyone.” He says, looking up at you. The sun setting outside the barn is sending golden amber beams in through the door and Eddie’s caramel colored eyes are sparkling as he looks at you.

“What are you thinking about, daddy?” You ask, sweet as peach pie. “Shit,” he takes a deep breath, pulling your tummy close to his face, his lips kissing any bit of skin they can reach. “I don’t know if I should say what I’m thinking about.” He laughs.

“Are you thinking about fucking me?” You ask nonchalantly. He looks up at you, hands gripping your waist. “You can’t just say stuff like that, babygirl. You trying to kill me?” You giggle at the look on his face. “No, Eddie, I’m serious.” You say, shaking his shoulders softly and wiggling your hips to emphasize your point. Eddie watches as your hips and thighs recoil at the movement, he doesn’t know how much longer he can hold himself back and be a gentleman.

“But I thought you wanted to wait until we’re married?” He asks, sliding back on the hay bale to pull you into his lap. You look off to the side, clearly conflicted with what you were raised to believe and what you really want.

Eddie is a perv but he’s also so in love with you, it makes his stomach ache. He would never want to push you to do anything you didn’t want to do but to be honest, this whole ‘waiting until marriage’ thing has been kind of a bitch. He’s gotten used to rubbing your clothed pussy against his boner for a release, feeling guilty about it every time. But he needs to get off. And you make him so horny.

You whispering “Well maybe we can do… other things.” is all the ammo Eddie needs. He pulls your dress off over your shoulders, watching as your round perky boobs bounce back once the fabric is gone. He groans as he takes his bottom lip between his teeth, eyelids hooded as he palms and squeezes your boobs. He lets each fingertip graze over your nipples as you let your head fall back, tingles all over your body. He pinches your hard nipples a little too roughly, a loud moan escaping your throat.

He smiles slowly, “Oh, don’t tell me you liked that. Don’t tell me that because I won’t be able to control myself.” You nod, “Felt good, daddy.” You whimper. His eyes roll back in his head as he takes your nipple in his mouth, his tongue sucking and laving over it while he tweaks your other one. He switches back and forth between them until they’re nice and wet, his lips glimmering with saliva. You rake your nails through his hair, scratching gently at the nape of his neck.

“I feel tingly down there again, Eddie. Remember how I told you last time?” Oh he remembers. Almost had to pull his dick out and stroke it in front of you when you told him. You had been making out, your little hips wiggling, your pussy getting drenched. Eddie loves the fact that he can get you so turned on. He loves that he’s the one who gets to introduce you to all this stuff. He wanted to touch you that day but held himself back. But he’s done holding back.

He pulls a flannel blanket off the top of the hay and lays it out onto the dirty barn floor. He instructs you to lay down, while he unclasps your garter belt and slips your panties down your legs. He sniffs them taking a slow, deep breath, making you giggle and blush before he slips them in his back pocket.

You feel totally bare in front of him, legs spread wide open for him to settle in between. He crouches down, eyes hooded and mouth hanging open as he takes in the beautiful flower between your legs. Pussy lips all pink and puffy, little nub of your clit sticking out under it’s hood just begging for attention. Your tiny fluttering hole is leaking clear, milky fluid that has his mouth watering, he licks his lips to stop from drooling.

He lets his fingers dance through your folds, gathering all your slick. You tremble at his fingers, thighs starting to come together. “Oh none of that baby,” he says pushing your thighs down with his palms. “so sensitive aren’t you?” he asks before landing a little spank to your clit. You moan loudly, hands cupping your breasts and squeezing hard.

Eddie’s in awe of you, so perfect and pure laying open for him. He gets down on his stomach and hooks his forearms under your thighs, guiding your ankles over his shoulders. “Gonna help you get nice and open for me, ok baby? Gonna get you nice and ready.” You bite your lip and nod, eyes closing as his lips trail little wet kisses up your inner thigh.

He spreads open your lips and spits directly on your cunt, watching it drip down and mix with your juices. His mouth attaches to your clit while he carefully, slowly slips his middle finger into your tight hole. His thick finger curls upwards, finding that special spot deep inside you.

You rake your fingers through his hair, pulling his face closer to you and moaning his name. He smiles against your pussy, peeking his head up to admire your fucked out face and tell you how sweet you taste.

He goes back to licking and sucking at your clit sloppily, his wrist working faster to fuck his finger in and out of you. He pulls his finger out to dip the tip of his tongue inside you, so warm and tight around his pink muscle. “Daddy, feels so good, need your finger again.” He dips his first and middle fingers in this time, seeing how much you can take.

“Fuck baby, your pussy’s practically pulling in my fingers.” He groans. He flips his hand so his palm is up and he starts pistoning his fingers in and out of you. Your legs start to shake and he holds them down, fingers squeezing at the flesh of your thighs.

You cry out his name, a tense spasm feeling starting deep within. His thumb starts to strum fast circles on your clit, “c’mon baby. show me you’re a good girl. know you can do it.” He says, out of breath. You squeeze your eyes shut, all sound fading away as your first orgasm comes crashing over you, each wave of pleasure more intense than the last. You cry out, repeating Eddie’s name as you gush onto his hand.

“Fuuuuck babygirl, that’s it. Did so good for me, so fucking perfect.” He says as you come down from your high, catching your breath. “Oh my god, daddy.” you say, exhausted smile on your face.

Eddie palms at his hard length through his jeans, if he doesn’t stop neglecting it soon, he’s going to lose his mind. He leans over you, kissing you deeply, tongue sliding over yours. You run your fingers up his chest under his shirt, helping him pull it off. He pushes his hips into yours, the rough fabric of his jeans scratching at your soft skin. “I need to know how it feels to be inside you baby, just for a minute. I promise I won’t put more than just the tip in. Please.” He begs you, his hands already unzipping his jeans, unbuckling his belt. “Just for a minute?” You clarify. “Cause you know I’m not on the pill, Teddy Bear.”

He growls, “Just a quick minute baby,” he kisses the tip of your nose, “I promise, I just need to feel you wrapped around me.” You nod at him, sweet little smile on your lips. He shimmies down his pants and boxers, just to his thighs.

He shudders as he reaches down to grab his cock, giving it a few tugs as he kisses your neck and whispers a thank you in your ear. Your eyes wander down to look at it. “It’s pretty like you, daddy. Pink like your lips.” You giggle. He smiles, kissing you softly as his weight comes down on you. He looks down between your bodies, letting the mushroom head push through your slick folds. “Gonna be a little bit of a stretch, bunny. But it’ll feel better soon.” He says before pushing his cock all the way in to the hilt. You hold back a moan, focusing on when it’s going to stop hurting.

Eddie’s mind goes blank. Being inside you is more addicting than he thought it would be. He slowly pulls all the way out before sliding back in, just as deeply as before. He lets out a whimper as his face gets nuzzled into the crook of your neck, one hand on your hip, the other holding your cheek.

Your gummy walls hug him tight, like you were made for him. He lets his hips start to hump in and out of you, never fully pulling out, just enough to feel his balls slap against your ass. He keeps going and going and going, whimpering and moaning your name telling you how good you feel.

The painful stretching feeling is gone and all that’s left is pleasure, Eddie’s big thick cock filling you up just right, so much better than his fingers, which you didn’t think was possible.

Eddie’s hands grab behind your lower back, hugging you close to him as he fucks up into you. “So fucking tight baby, never gonna let this pussy go. Gonna make you mine forever.” He grunts as he fucks you hard and deep.

He’s starting to sweat, mumbling curses and praises to you. It feels so good you don’t want it to stop but you start to get worried. He’ll stop before it goes too far you think. His hips pump faster into you, wet sounds and skin on skin slaps echoing through the large barn. “Can’t pull out-can’t. Feels too good.” He chokes out. You whimper, hands pushing his chest, little “no”s leaving your mouth as another orgasm creeps up on you.

His movements get faster and sloppier, short broken moans leaving his mouth as his eyes screw shut, his forehead coming down to meet yours. You open your mouth as a silent moan comes from deep within you, coming at the same time as him. Thick ropes of his cum shoot inside you, his hips flush to yours as he pumps every last bit of his seed into you with a shudder.

You look at him angrily, “Eddie!” “What?” He says, laughing a bit at how cute you sound when you’re angry. “You said only for a minute!” “I’m sorry, it felt too good. Been waiting so long for that.” “You lied to me.” You said, eyes starting to water. He tuts at you, smile leaving his face. “No, no, no bunny, I tried to pull out, I really did. I’m sorry.”

A fat tear rolls down your cheek, “You didn’t try! Now what am I going to do? What if-what if-” you choke out through sobs. “It’ll be fine baby. You’re not pregnant. And if you are, we’ll be ok. All three of us.” You look at him with your big wet eyes, starting to relax and breathe normally again and Eddie smiles softly. He doesn’t regret what he did because he’d do it again. He meant what he said. He’ll make you his forever.

“Yeah?” You ask him. “Of course. Whatever happens, I’ll always be here. No matter what.” He says, thumb swiping away the trail of tears from your cheeks. He kisses you softly, “I love you, Bunny.” You smile, “I love you too, Eddie.”

#eddie munson x reader #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson x y/n #self insert fic #perv!eddie x innocent!reader #perv!eddie munson #perv!eddie #eddie x fem!reader #Eddie x innocent!reader #eddie munson fan fiction #eddie x reader #eddie x country girl

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tremendum · 5 months

Note

ok but Apocalypse by Cigarettes After Sex is so Joel and a younger reader coded.... ugh I just Love Him So Much

wow yes <33 i totally agree with u anon ugh i love that song esp this time of year.... you inspired me! thank u! def recommend listening to this song its so lovely

rating: mature. not nsfw but my blog is 18+ so mdni. word count: 1.9k warnings: not much tbh. mentions of alcohol, insecure Joel, soft!Joel <3, unestablished relationship, age gap (Joel is unspecified older), brief mention of Joel accidentally hitting reader in self defense, touch starved joel tbh, reader has a sister thats like it.

masterlist Joel fics: pretty little thing personal lies i've got headaches... Mr. Miller Series fever landmines

Joel hears his name echo as swinging arms plunge down below him, a splash following right after.

a strike of fear pangs through his chest, though he hides it with a glare when Ellie tugs excitedly on his sleeve. "did you see that?" she asks, brows raised. he scowls in response, squinting down to make sure your bobbing body still has all the pieces.

you smile up at him, waving and shouting something that he misses.

his shoes crush over the dust that riddles the crumbling bridge he stands on, the cerulean river calm below. your body is plastered with your wet clothes when, minutes later, you pant up to the two of them with a grin and a cut hand. "the rocks are slippery down there."

Joel stares at you now, jaw clenched slightly at the memory from weeks ago. he'd rolled his eyes then - hadn't spoken to you for the rest of the day, too angry with the recklessness of your leap off the drop, the once-tall cityscape behind you turned to dust by years of turmoil and failed humanity.

and noticing his irritation, for the rest of the day you'd stayed behind him, not trying to speak to him again. instead you whispered with Ellie, sharing secrets like you were high schoolers. when Ellie fell sleep with her head in your lap that night, you'd whispered to him, told him you were sorry. that you hadn't meant to upset him.

he'd pretended to be asleep.

but now, you're the one asleep - body curled slightly, his jacket pulled over you like a blanket as your fist curls around the necklace you'd never taken off. the same one that held a locket your sister had given you - the one you talk about all the time, the one you'd tried to get Joel to try on once.

when you'd tried that, he'd snapped for you to keep your hands away from him. so Ellie had tried it on instead, and you told her it looked very pretty.

guilt seems to find him a lot at night.

your face, illuminated by the moonlight through the grimy windows of the building you'd scouted, is too peaceful, too serene. he has to look away.

something about you settles a very deep melancholy that he cannot understand.

you shift slightly, brows furrowing in that look you get when you're upset or angry or scared - it looks disheartening when you're asleep. he stares with intent, hand on his gun.

he knew you'd wanted to leave before he'd even asked. he'd seen the agony, the confusion, the sadness in your eyes every time he packed up to leave the QZ without you by his side - such a strange reaction from a neighbor.

a neighbor who used to show up every day without fail to try and convince him and Tess to let you in on their jobs. a neighbor who would, instead, wait with a med kit for him to return the next day or the next week.

even in the QZ, he thought of you often.

he'd watch you with your friends, spinning in your own world. it would strike him with a deep longing; the beauty you exude is one that, until meeting you, he'd thought was gone from the world.

you've got music laced in you, in your eyes, your smile, your arms; though you have no reason to. you've lost everything, you keep losing everything, and yet, against all odds, you keep so much life within you that he thinks you may one day burst. something about it hurts his chest.

when he met you, he thought you were naive. a young girl on her own in the Boston QZ, hoping to make extra money smuggling but never being taken seriously.

you never even made it out of the zone until you snuck out after them. Tess had found you first - his heart pangs and he shakes his head, staring at the spot that had bruised on your cheek from when you'd snuck up on them silently and paid for it with the butt of his gun.

and you'd laughed it off, like it was funny. you'd joked about it, teasing him as the purple turned to yellow. all while he stayed awake for nights, staring at the bruise while you slept, his chest heavy and his throat tight.

you've got that piece of life that nobody else has, and he cannot understand it. he doesn't think he ever will.

despite his best efforts, he'd gotten to know you. Tess had liked you. Ellie likes you. he likes you, too. he loves you.

he could tell early on that, for whatever reason, you care about him. now, he wonders if you might even love him too.

he doesn't understand why.

you were well loved back in Boston. he'd seen it - in the hidden basements of bars, the shadows that walked you back to your apartment across from his at night, the same shadows that snuck from your apartments in the morning daybreak.

he'd tried not to stare out the peephole at the frames of lovers you'd taken as they kissed your forehead, hesitating in your doorway before leaving.

he'd seen handfuls of friends wrapped in your arms in the streets, wide smiles and bright cheeks.

there were nights where your friends didn't come around, and you were alone. those were his favorite nights, because you'd invite him over. even when he said no, it still gave him a warm feeling when you'd nod and mutter, next time, then.

you'd been making your own bottles of grain alcohol somehow - you'd invited him to a glass and once he finally took you up on it after months of asking, he'd seen how you'd been hiding them in the hollowed out piano that crumbled in the corner of your tiny apartment.

sitting on the piano bench, you'd told him that you had been in the QZ since you were around Ellie's age - when your sister had left for somewhere in the mountainous West; the two of you had been locked inside this crumbled city forever, she was ready to leave. but you had been scared - too young to travel - and you just couldn't find it in you to say goodbye.

she'd left without you the next day.

that was the night he learned that you played piano, too.

you've still got the music in you, and he doesn't understand why.

he's worried about you.

or maybe, he's worried about himself.

days after you'd jumped from that bridge, the scream of his name from your lips a song of its own, you'd snuck them all across a river.

there had been people tracking you; Joel had kept a tight grip on his shotgun the entire hour, eyes sharp as he'd stared at the woods behind you all, Ellie in the middle, you in front, with your own gun drawn and a stare so strong it'd made his head skip.

you wanted to erase your tracks - but the river current was strong, rising with the snowmelt as you took several steps in. you'd saved them both from the currents and built a strong fire once the threat was cleared and you were miles away.

he'd worried about the curve of your lips, the smile that graced you while he and Ellie were grim and cold. he'd worried about the warmth that your laugh had given his chest.

the fire that night was warm, but you still rolled closer to Joel when you slept. he'd let you. and when he woke up that next morning while you were on watch, he'd found that in his fitful rest, he'd stretched his hand out, towards where you sat. his hand splayed on your calf while your other leg was bent, housing your chin.

you'd just smiled gently down at him when he'd moved his hand quickly, his eyes sheepish. you'd let him.

"Joel?" your voice is very soft. even back in the QZ when he was in bed, your voice would come out and haunt him.

I know you want me.

it takes him a second to register that you've woken up from your sleep and slid up next to him. your thigh is warm where it touches him, but he doesn't dare look down. instead, he sets the gun down, turning to stare at your face.

your eyes are bleary from sleep, your hair tousled. you're so pretty it hurts.

his throat feels dry. "hey." he doesn't mean for his voice to come out that gentle. sometimes, when it's you and him, it just does.

guilt surrounds him as your hand slides over his thigh, burning warm, comfortable. how could something so beautiful exist in such a world? it makes him nervous.

you make him nervous.

"what are you thinking?" you ask. he knows you - knows that's your way of checking on him. you do that, just as he does to you. are you feeling alone?

he shakes his head, "lots of things I shouldn't be." he says honestly, his eyes searching the depths of yours. but you're good to me.. so good to me.

you're not scared of him like you ought to be.

you shrug, "tell me."

he doesn't see the reason to lie anymore; you've been haunting him for too long. and he's been hiding himself from you.

"just don't know why you're with me. with us. here." but he can't bring himself to finish his thoughts - because you, despite it all, loved your life before you left it. because you had lovers, you had friends your age, a life. you were so much safer without me. because you have that music in you, and it's still there despite it all. despite me.

you shift next to him, your cheek falling to his shoulder. he doesn't feel the urge to shake you off like he used to - that feeling melted away months ago, shortly after the desire to put his lips on yours burned in his soul.

"I just think you underestimate how much you mean to me." you say, eyes full of too much light.

he sees that music again; the unrelented spirit in your cheeks when you smile. the laughter that hasn't left you even when you left your old life behind for him and a girl you didn't know. tell me why, tell me why.

he doesn't know what to say, but his head turns gently to place a kiss to the crown of your head.

he nearly feels sick at the implications of such an action, but you just sidle up closer to him, your hand squeezing his thigh gently. he turns to look at you and you move off his shoulder, lifting your own eyes to meet his.

his breath catches in his throat as you look up at him, love and trust in your eyes. the locket glints in his peripheral as he stares down at your glowing, beautiful face.

your lips, my lips.

he intends to kiss your forehead - the way he'd seen all those lovers do months ago, back in Boston. the way he'd always ached to.

but you meet him halfway, and suddenly your warmth is on him.

it spreads from his lips and grows through his body - a beautiful, melancholic hum that sings along his veins. you are soft, you are pliant, strong, loving.

everything he doesn't deserve.

and yet you kiss him and you let your hand fall to his jaw, tilting yourself to feel more of him. he doesn't understand why, but maybe that's okay.

he kisses you back softly, then desperately.

your lips and his, something so kind, full of life. something that doesn't belong in such an apocalypse.

something he couldn't live without.

.·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·..·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·..·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:

(once again begging) send more requests! for Joel and Din! taglist: @satansgoatt @elissaaa @queerponcho @bbyanarchist @lapricot @umavvitch @asreadbyaj @dinsbaby @cottoncandytomu @switchbladedreamz @missannwinchester @abs-2020 @afandomidiot @cosm1c-babe @rogersbarnesxx @carleenphillips-blog @bonnibuckets @nightlovechild @jazzyspasms @girlboybug @cannolighost @pastelnap @userpedros @feministfanboi @frogers @grhowls @daddy-din @gothoppered @totallynotastanacc @robbatlover @casssiopeiaaa @wannab-urs @redhotkitchen @joelapologist2001 @silkiers @alltheseperfectimperfections @whorror-s @scarletthefierce @worhols @hearthrooob

.·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·..·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·..·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:

#joel miller x reader smut #joel miller x reader #joel miller smut #the last of us (tv)#the last of us smut #the last of us #joel tlou smut #joel miller #joel x reader #joel smut #joel tlou #joel taglist 🏷️

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lvrdrafts · 9 months

Note

Hi, could you please write a happier ending for it is just a joke, cause that was so sad

Joke Taken Too Far

★ Summary: You hear Bucky compare you to Natasha and it makes you question if Bucky ever really loved you, but can Bucky fix what he has done before it is too late

★ Pairing: Bucky x f!Reader

★ Warnings: Being compared

★ A/N: FUNNY ENOUGH UR NOT THE ONLY PERSON WHO REQUESTED THIS LOL

★ Word Count: 2,000+

★ Genre: Angst/ Fluff

Angst Version

GIF by tfatwsdaily

You had a past filled with heartbreak, as you had encountered one boyfriend after another who cheated on you, citing your looks as the reason for their breakup or abusing you physically. Your self-esteem suffered immensely, leaving you feeling unworthy of love and affection.

However, everything changed when you became an Avenger and met Bucky Barnes, the man who made you feel cherished and appreciated in ways you had never experienced before. You were still going to therapy from the trauma they left you but Bucky helped you get through it and you depression even if he didn't know that.

Your shared experiences as Avengers brought you two closer together. Bucky understood the pain you had endured, and you connected on a deep level. He saw the beauty within you, which went far beyond your physical appearance. Your love grew strong, and you became inseparable.

One day, you happened to overhear Bucky talking to Steve and you wanted to surprise him with an attack full of kisses but you stopped in your tracks as you heard Bucky say, "Steve, you've seen Natasha's body, right? She's incredible. I sometimes wish she was my girlfriend."

“I know I see you staring at her all the time," Steve says chuckling "You really should stop staring before you make it obvious, you are dating someone punk”

Your heart shattered into pieces as you felt the old wounds of insecurity resurface. You couldn't bear to hear the man you loved longing for someone else, especially someone as stunning as Natasha.

"I care about her a lot, Steve, but sometimes I can't help but think about Natasha and how much better it would be with her," Bucky says and you felt as if your heart is being ripped out.

Steve frowned, sensing where this was going. "Bucky, you know it's not fair to compare Y/N to Natasha or anyone else? Everyone's different."

“Y/N’s pretty I know but she just doesn’t compare to Nat,” that was all it took for your heart to completely obliterate into a trillion pieces. You were no longer the only one that thought you were nothing compared to her. You didn't want Bucky to leave you for someone else, you didn't want him to leave you like how they all did.

In the solitude of your room, tears streamed down your face as the weight of Bucky's words crushed your spirit. All the progress you had made in feeling loved and cherished was unraveling before your eyes. The old wounds of heartbreak and insecurity resurfaced with a vengeance, enveloping you in suffocating darkness.

Questions plagued your mind. Were you not enough for Bucky? Would he eventually leave you for Natasha or someone else? Did he only settle for you because he couldn't have her? The demons of self-doubt tormented you, and you felt utterly inadequate, unable to compete with the image of perfection you held in your mind of Natasha.

⁀➷ ‿➹⁀➷ ‿➹⁀➷ ‿➹⁀➷ ‿➹⁀➷ ‿➹⁀➷ ‿➹⁀➷ ‿➹⁀➷ ‿➹⁀➷ ‿➹⁀➷ ‿⁀➷ ‿➹⁀➷ ‿➹⁀➷ ‿➹⁀➷ ‿➹⁀➷ ‿➹

You couldn't bear seeing Bucky, it felt as if you were gonna burst into tears every time you saw him. You tried avoiding him as best as you could for a few weeks but being in the same building together 24/7 was harder than you expected.

Each time he tried to reach out or spend time with you, you made excuses, declining his invitations and pushing him away.

"Bucky, I'm really busy right now," you replied one day when he asked if you wanted to grab a coffee. "Maybe some other time."

His face fell, but he tried to hide his disappointment. "Sure, Y/N," he said, his voice tinged with sadness. "Just let me know when you're free."

In an attempt to bridge the growing distance, Bucky decided to reach out to you. "Hey, baby want to hang out later? Maybe we can grab a bite or train together?" Bucky says with a huge grin.

"Sorry, Bucky, I have a lot of work to catch up on. Rain check?" you say making up another excuse to be away from him.

He sighed, knowing he couldn't push you. "Sure, no problem. Just let me know when you're free," he replied, trying to hide his disappointment.

⁀➷ ‿➹⁀➷ ‿➹⁀➷ ‿➹⁀➷ ‿➹⁀➷ ‿➹⁀➷ ‿➹⁀➷ ‿➹⁀➷ ‿➹⁀➷ ‿➹⁀➷ ‿⁀➷ ‿➹⁀➷ ‿➹⁀➷ ‿➹⁀➷ ‿➹⁀➷ ‿➹

Over the next few days, he tried again, asking if you wanted to join him for a movie night or go for a walk, but each time, you declined, always with an excuse. He couldn't help but feel like you were purposely keeping your distance, and it hurt more than he wanted to admit.

One evening, Bucky found you in the common area, sitting by yourself and looking lost in thought. He decided that enough was enough; he needed answers.

"Y/N, we need to talk," he said, approaching you cautiously.

You sighed, knowing this conversation was inevitable. "Sure," you replied, trying to keep your emotions in check.

Bucky hesitated for a moment before speaking. "I've noticed that you've been avoiding me," he began cautiously. "Is there something wrong? Did I do something?"

You looked away, not wanting to meet his gaze. "It's just... things have been a bit busy lately," you said, your voice lacking conviction.

Bucky frowned, sensing that you were holding something back. "Y/N, please, I can tell something's bothering you. You can talk to me, you know."

He reached out to touch your hand, but you pulled away, and he felt the rejection like a physical blow. "I get that, Y/N, but it feels like you're shutting me out completely," he said, his voice tinged with hurt. "I thought we were in this together, no matter what."

You took a deep breath, knowing that it was time to address the elephant in the room. You didn't want to bear the pain anymore "I overheard you, Bucky," you admitted, your voice wavering. "You were talking to Steve, and you said... you said I wasn't as pretty as Natasha."

Bucky's face paled, and he looked like he had been punched in the gut. "Y/N, I..." he stammered, searching for the right words.

"Y/N, I didn't mean it like that. It was just a joke, I didn't mean for you to take it to heart," he said. He regretted the words as soon as they left his mouth, but he couldn't bring himself to apologize, unable to confront his own emotions.

"I thought jokes were supposed to be funny" you snapped back at Bucky. "Do you see me laughing?"

He sighed, running his hand through his hair. "I didn't think you'd take it so seriously, and it was a private conversation," he said, trying to justify himself.

"You were in the fucking common room a public area and maybe you should think before you speak" you shot back, feeling the tension escalating.

As the argument continued, the pain and hurt seemed to escalate, and both you and Bucky were on the verge of tears. But amidst the tension and hurtful words, Bucky suddenly stopped and took a deep breath.

"Y/N, I messed up," he said, his voice filled with regret. "I shouldn't have said those things."

You looked at him, tears streaming down your face. "But why did you say them, Bucky?" you asked, your voice still trembling with emotion.

"At the moment, I don't know, talking shit about you made me feel better about myself," Bucky says. Bucky took a step closer to you, gently reaching out to cup your face in his hands.

"I don't have any excuse for what I said," he said, his eyes filled with sincerity. "I was being selfish I know but you make me a better person and after all the shit I have done I don't deserve to be happy!" Bucky yelled and his eyes widened, he stepped back realizing what he had said. He had never told anyone this before, he tried keeping the demons all for himself.

Your heart sank as you listened to him. You had no idea that Bucky had been struggling with such deep-seated insecurities. You reached out and gently held his hand, trying to convey that you were there for him.

"Bucky, you're not a monster anymore," you said softly. "You're a good person, and you've been through so much. But you don't need to tear someone else down to feel better about yourself. What you said did not make you a monster, it made you an asshole"

"I-I really am sorry, please don't leave me I will change I will do anything," Bucky says as his eyes were filled with tears as he looked up at you, his voice breaking with emotion.

But you were too hurt, too broken, to respond. You turned away from him, unable to bear the sight of him in such pain. The silence in the room was deafening, and you could feel the weight of the moment pressing down on both of you.

"I thought we had something special, Y/N before I fucked up," Bucky said, his voice desperate. "I love you more than anything, and I messed up, but I'm willing to do whatever it takes to make it right. Please, just give me another chance." Bucky's pleas fell on deaf ears, and you couldn't bear to see him on his knees, begging for forgiveness.

Your heart ached at his words, but you couldn't ignore the pain he had caused you. "I need time, Bucky," you said, your voice barely above a whisper. "I need time to process all of this."

Bucky nodded, his tears flowing freely now. "I'll give you all the time you need," he said, his voice choked with emotion. "But please, don't shut me out completely. I'll be here when you're ready."

With that, Bucky slowly got up from his knees and walked away, leaving you standing there, your heart torn between love and pain.

In the days that followed, Bucky gave you the space you needed, but he also made sure to show you how much he cared. He would leave little notes for you, reminding you of the good times you shared and how much he loved you. He would send you flowers and gifts, trying to show you that he was truly sorry for his actions.

But no matter what he did, you couldn't shake off the pain and betrayal you felt. Every time you saw him, you were reminded of his hurtful words, and it made it hard for you to see the man you had fallen in love with.

⁀➷ ‿➹⁀➷ ‿➹⁀➷ ‿➹⁀➷ ‿➹⁀➷ ‿➹⁀➷ ‿➹⁀➷ ‿➹⁀➷ ‿➹⁀➷ ‿➹⁀➷ ‿⁀➷ ‿➹⁀➷ ‿➹⁀➷ ‿➹⁀➷ ‿➹⁀➷ ‿➹

Weeks passed, and despite Bucky's efforts, the pain between you remained palpable. You were still hurting, unable to let go of the hurtful words he had spoken. The team had noticed the tension between you, and everyone was hoping for a resolution.

One day, a mission came up that required you and Bucky to work closely together. It involved infiltrating a highly guarded facility run by a dangerous organization. The stakes were high, and the success of the mission depended on your teamwork.

You both suited up in your tactical gear, preparing for the intense mission ahead. As the two of you boarded the Quinjet, you tried to maintain a professional demeanor, despite the lingering emotions.

Once inside the facility, things got intense quickly. The enemy was not easy to subdue, and you found yourself in a tight spot, surrounded by hostile forces. In a moment of desperation, you got separated from the rest of the team.

Bucky's heart pounded in his chest as he realized the danger you were in. Without a second thought, he put himself in harm's way, using his skills and combat expertise to fight through the enemies and reach you.

You were cornered, and just when it seemed like there was no way out, you heard a familiar sound – the whirring of Bucky's metal arm. In an instant, he swooped in, taking out the threats with swift precision. But in the midst of the fighting, a sniper had tried to get a clean shot on you but Bucky saw it coming and pushed you aside taking the shot instead.

"Bucky," you gasped, you quickly threw a smoke bomb giving you time to escape while holding Bucky over you. As the smoke filled the air, you grabbed Bucky and pulled him towards the exit. Your heart was pounding in your chest as you tried to get both of you to safety.

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Once you were back on the Quinjet, you laid Bucky down gently, fear and concern evident in your eyes."Bucky, why did you do that?" you yelled at him, your voice trembling with emotion. "You could have been killed!"

He winced in pain but managed to give you a weak smile. "I couldn't let anything happen to you," he replied, his voice strained. "I love you, and I would do anything to protect you."

Tears welled up in your eyes as you saw the sincerity in his words. Despite the hurt between you, he still cared about you deeply and was willing to put his life on the line for you.

"Bucky, I love you too," you whispered, your voice filled with emotion. "But, you didn't have to do that," you said, your voice wavering.

He looked at you, his eyes full of affection. "I would do it again in a heartbeat," he replied, his voice filled with emotion.

The tension between you seemed to melt away in that moment, replaced by a deep sense of connection and love. You realized that despite the mistakes and pain, Bucky loved you with all his heart, and you couldn't deny your own feelings for him.

"I love you, Y/N," Bucky said, his voice steady and genuine. "I know I messed up, and I'm sorry for hurting you. But you mean everything to me, and I'll spend the rest of my life making it up to you."

Tears welled up in your eyes as you finally let go of the pain and fear that had been holding you back. You knew deep down that you still loved Bucky, and you couldn't deny the pull between you.

"I love you too, Bucky," you whispered, your voice filled with emotion.

Bucky pulled you into a tight embrace, holding you close as if he never wanted to let go. "I promise I'll never hurt you like that again," he said, his voice sincere. "You're the most important person in my life, and I'll do whatever it takes to make you happy."

As the Quinjet soared through the sky, you both knew that there were still challenges ahead. Healing would take time, and you would have to work through the pain together. But for now, in each other's arms, you found solace and comfort.

#bucky x reader #bucky x reader angst #bucky barnes x reader #winter soldier x reader #winter soldier x reader angst #bucky compares you to natasha

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koqabear · 10 months

Text

✧˚ · . loving you quietly

✩ Playlist ✩

“Beomgyu was taught that actions speak louder than words— he’s grown to care for others in that way, but when he finally decides to let his heart speak for once, he learns that it may have been better to remain silent instead.”

“can you hear it? my heart calls for you. i’ve been here, waiting patiently all along.”

beomgyu x gn!reader [ft. Yeonjun and Sunghoon of Enhypen]

Genre: fluff, angst, f2l, idiots to lovers, slowburn

Word count 12.4k

Warnings: mentions of food, lots of (fake) arguments n stuff, mc has a bit of anxiety, panic attacks/overstimulation, mentions of past toxic relationships, lack of proper communication, they’re both idiots please be patient with them. (lemme know if I should add anything!)

Notes: the Beomgyu brain rot got me again, enjoy and leave me silly little comment if u want me to think about u for the rest of the day ^_^

beomgyu: idk how to flirt i done called them a bitch

It’s no secret your relationship with Beomgyu is peculiar.

Out of everyone else in your friend group, you’d think the two of you would get along the most— same hobbies, same interests, your playlists containing all the same songs every time you go to get aux in the car— yet if anything, your friends have all learned to keep the two of you at least three feet apart at all times.

It’s not like you seriously hate each other— at least, you’d hope not— but it just seems that you’ve both taken quite the liking to treat each other in a much more harsh, unforgiving way.

“That sweater is hideous,” Beomgyu comments, staring you down with those same puppy eyes he always uses to get what he wants. He doesn’t flinch at the glare you send him, gritting your teeth as you watch him take an innocent sip of his shake; your lack of response only fuels him further, his lips twitching in amusement as he pulls away from his straw with a loud pop!

“It’s so tacky.”

Personally, you didn’t expect to be accosted over your comfort sweater in a Steak ‘n Shake on a random Tuesday. Yet here you are, letting out an offended gasp as you pat down your sweater in a self-reassuring manner; sure, the color and pattern aren’t exactly the most pleasing to the eye, but you were lazy and didn’t feel like doing your laundry just yet— if anything, you’re sure you could find a think piece like this in Beomgyu’s closet— or rather a few, to be realistic.

“I know you’re not one to talk,” you begin, your friends sighing and rolling their eyes as they watch your antics ensue. Once you got started, you never stopped; it truly didn’t help that you were so easily provoked, either, “Don’t think I forgot about the time you dressed like Adam Sandler for a straight week.”

“It was summer and the AC was broken!” Beomgyu perks up immediately at your comment, his ears turning red as he turns to his roommate for help; Soobin simply shakes his head, leaving Beomgyu to his defeat as he turns his focus to the fries in front of him— though you don’t miss the way his dimples poke through his cheeks as he bows his head down, a soft huff escaping him as he tries to hide his obvious laugh.

It isn’t long before you get lost in the argument; you’re not even sure if you’re making sense anymore, all logic thrown out the window as you begin to threaten Beomgyu that you’ll fight him in the parking lot this instant if he doesn’t watch his mouth— and like always, he’s never one to back down— it isn’t until you’re both chugging your shakes and telling the other to get ready that your friends finally decide to intervene.

Even as you finally settle down and head back to Soobin’s car, you’re still able to catch Beomgyu casting you stupid looks and sticking his tongue out at you childishly— you would’ve been quick to return the gesture if Taehyun hadn’t smacked him clean upside the head, telling him to “behave” as Beomgyu quickly gave him a look that resembled a kicked puppy.

You’d like to think that you would’ve won the fight— Beomgyu’s hair is pretty grabbable, but you’re sure you would’ve left the battle with a couple of bites on your body; even then, Beomgyu is the least active in the friend group, so you’re sure you could’ve easily tired him out— an easy win for you.

(That, and the fact that Beomgyu is incapable of hurting anyone he cares about.)

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

Being left alone with Beomgyu is not recommended.

It’s not ideal either, and you’ve come to learn this the hard way; without a mediator there to put up with your antics, there’s truly no way to tell what’ll happen if you’re left alone for longer than five minutes.

You’ve decided to be alone today, your back aching and your muscles becoming numb as you sit in the library, poring over your computer as you feel your vision slowly blurring; you’re almost done with your assignment, yet you can’t help but feel that all these hours of being cooped up inside have come back to haunt you as you feel an ache forming behind your eyes, the words before you becoming nonsensical as your brain slowly turns off.

Once you get in the zone, it’s hard for you to get out of it— you never know when you’ll be able to focus this much again, so you use it to your advantage and try to make it last as long as you can. But it’s draining, and you often find yourself strained by the time you finish— but you’ve worked so hard and you’re almost finished, you’re sure that if you push through the pain a little longer you’ll be able to focus again, right?

Your efforts come to a shattering stop as you feel a tug at your hair, insistent and childish as you try to shrug it off— all you get in return is a flat hand slapping on the top of your head, tilting your head back until you’re stuck staring at the ceiling.

“I’m hungry.”

“How did you find me.”

You’re not sure why that’s your first reaction, but the sight of Beomgyu hovering over your eyes, upside down and pouting, makes you slump back in your chair in defeat— out of all the outcomes and people that could have found you, this one’s definitely the worst.

“You weren’t at the dormmmsss,” he whines, petulant as ever as he jolts your head around annoyingly; his grip is firm on your head, and it takes a sharp slap to the back of his hand for him to pull away, watching him kiss the stinging area softly as you ignore the looks you get from the people around you.

“Okay? Didn’t you stop to think that it was for a reason?” You say, twisting around in your chair to face him; you’re quickly backing away as he’s leaning in, sharp eyes glaring at you as he lowers his volume.

“I wanted to go to that one place you took us last week, but I forgot what it was called— I had something really good but I don’t remember what it was.” He doesn’t seem phased by the puzzled look you send him; your face is scrunching up and you’re left in disbelief as you tilt your head, pursing your lips as you wonder what he could be talking about.

“You mean Steak ‘n Shake?”

You don’t miss the way his eyes widen at the sound of the very popular and well-known fast-food chain; his face feels hot as he clears his throat, shaking his head softly as he sighs.

“N—no… the other one.” His response doesn’t help at all; you’re sure you’ll get wrinkles with the way you’re frowning, truly trying to give him the benefit of the doubt before you’re left at a dead end after a moment.

“That was the only place I suggested.”

“Really? I could’ve sworn there was some other place,” he’s innocent as he straightens his posture, no longer leaning down to talk to you as he runs an impatient hand through his hair. His gaze is fleeting around the room as he goes quiet, the gears clearly being put at work in his head as he finally concludes,“Whatever. Take me there.”

“What? No, I’m busy,” you say, gesturing to your computer behind you as you give him an incredulous look. He simply scoffs carelessly, stepping closer to you until he’s reaching over, shutting your computer clumsily before he’s shoving it in your bag. You’re not sure of what else to do but run after him as he scurries away with your belongings, ignoring your hushed yells for him to stop as he simply glances back at you; his pace quickens shortly after.

It isn’t until you’re exiting the library that you finally allow yourself to run after him, curses and insults escaping you left and right as he suddenly gains an impeccable speed— you choose to chalk it all up to the fact that you’ve been cooped up inside all day, your energy well drained while Beomgyu has more than enough to spare.

“Wait!” You call out, thankful that the area is empty as you push through and chase after him; it’s ridiculous how he already managed to gain such a distance between you two, and your body is already giving in as you huff tiredly, your pace slowing to nothing more than a tired waddle, “you don’t even know where you’re going!”

Only then does Beomgyu give in to your cries; he’s sheepish as he turns around, an innocent grin on his face as he hugs your belongings close to his chest. Even though he’s well off in the distance, you can still see his reluctance to return to you as he looks down at his shoes shyly— but you know better than to fall for that act.

“It’s this way, dumbass,” you sigh, your feet aching as you turn around without another word. You refuse to admit defeat as you begin walking, annoyed that you allowed Beomgyu to get his way again as you try to appreciate the beautiful spring day instead. You don’t need to look back to know that Beomgyu is hot on your trail, his puppy-like antics never failing him as the sound of his shoes scuffing against the pavement reaches your ears; it isn’t long before Beomgyu catches up to you, skipping. His hair is bouncy and fluffy as he wears a leisurely smile, not phased in the slightest by the dirty look you send him— his reaction time is godly as he manages to dodge your quick hand that went to snatch your bag back from him.

“Why did you come bother me,” you grumble, slowing to a stop as you wait for your chance to cross the street; the pedestrian light remains red as you lean against the traffic light pole, crossing your arms as you send Beomgyu another irritated look, “like, be honest, you could’ve just bothered Soobin or something.”

“He kicked me out,” he pouts, whining about the way Soobin called him a “horrible distraction”— you can’t blame him, but you’re also a bit angry that he managed to bring the problem to you instead— “and I didn’t wanna go alone. Plus I’m really craving a cookies-and-cream shake right now.”

“So you do remember,” is all you say, referring to Beomgyu’s shenanigans with the restaurant as you push yourself off the pole. He remains silent, a soft pout on his face as he walks ahead the moment traffic is cleared, leaving you behind as you’re left to scoff at his actions.

Beomgyu also remembered that you have a habit of studying until your body gives out, ignoring your needs with ease— which worries him to death— but you really don’t need to know that.

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

You think studying really did a number on you today.

At least, that must be what’s showing on your face if it has Beomgyu toning down his annoyingness drastically, going as far as to open the door for you and not react to your snarky comment about how much of a gentleman he was. It’s a bit unnerving really, even when Beomgyu decides to pay for your food despite him always attempting to trick you into treating him every time you go out— you’re surprised that he isn’t asking you to Venmo him immediately after you sit at a table.

There’s something strange about today; you can’t really pinpoint what it is as you find yourself having a civilized conversation with Beomgyu, surprised that you’ve made it to the twenty-minute mark without arguing to the point where you’ve received concerned looks from the patrons around you.

“Do you think I’m dying or something?” You finally blurt out, watching as Beomgyu sends you a confused look, in the middle of taking a sip from his shake as he tilts his head in curiosity. “I mean like, why aren’t we fighting right now— why are you being nice.”

He seems reluctant to respond at that; his eyes have flickered back down to the melting whipped cream topped with cookie crumbles as he feels your stare burn into him, unsure of what to say as he gulps nervously, the shake slowly disappearing until he’s drunk more than half; even then, you persist, leaning on the table as you try to lower your face to meet his eyesight, lowering more and more until your cheek is hovering over the surface of the table. Beomgyu sighs, pulling away slowly as he urges you to sit up annoyingly.

“I don’t know, I guess I just felt bad,” he grumbles, the words feeling jagged and odd in his mouth as he forces himself to spit it out, “You kinda did look like you were dying back at the library, honestly.”

The sassy man that has haunted your life has finally returned; it’s oddly relieving as you find yourself falling back into your antics, scoffing at his words as you throw your straw wrapper at him.

“Okay, rude,” you say, watching the way he plays with the trash you threw at him, “I didn’t exactly ask you to come bother me, either.”

“I know,” Beomgyu says, tilting his head as he reaches over to steal your food; even as you swat at his hands and scold him, he still manages to take a hefty amount of fries from you, a burning need to beat him up lighting inside you as you swat at his hand one last time for good measure.

“But I just love messing with you.”

It’s so strange that a sentence like that would affect you— yet, the feelings that stir within you definitely aren’t normal, and the way you stutter when you spit out an insult definitely isn’t either. The emotion is strange and short-lived as you refuse to dwell on it, clearing your throat as you go to kick Beomgyu under the table; it’s easier to pretend like nothing happened when you’re too busy fighting the boy before you.

The air between you has shifted back to its usual state as Beomgyu quickly gives up on being nice, his childish antics much more welcoming as he tries to steal your drink on the way out; it takes a firm punch to his arm for him to back off, your annoyance evident on your face as you make your way back to the dorms in hopes of getting rid of this clingy mess before you.

“Hey,” your space is quickly invaded as you turn to the source of the sound, the warmth that was spreading through your chest quickly being snubbed out at the sight of the man that’s trying to approach you; Sunghoon’s mischievous grin is dreadfully familiar as he catches up to you much too quickly, unable to find an escape as you simply smile nervously.

“Hey,” you grimace, the grip on your drink tightening as you avoid looking into your ex’s eyes, “what’s up?”

“Oh nothing, I just wanted to see how you were doing,” he says, taking yet another step closer as you find yourself gulping uncomfortably, “you haven’t answered any of my messages, you know.”

It wasn’t a surprise to find that Sunghoon still hadn’t given up on you; it was a trait you admired once, but after the two of you broke up you quickly found that the endearing characteristic had quickly turned into your worst nightmare. So here you stand, laughing awkwardly as you try to cycle through the countless excuses you’ve given him every time he’d tried to come up to you.

“Dude, can you just back off? They’re not interested,” you’re not sure you’ve ever seen Beomgyu this serious as he glares at Sunghoon; your eyes are widening at the sudden hostility he’s displaying, smiling nervously as you go to intervene, knowing how quickly Sunghoon can escalate things.

“You’re kidding,” Sunghoon scoffs, unable to let you speak as he’s rolling his eyes, taking in the way Beomgyu stands behind you protectively, “how ‘bout you back the fuck out of our business?”

You’re quick to step in as Beomgyu goes to say something else, placing a firm hand on his arm as you send Sunghoon a sharp glare. The man doesn’t seem to be phased by your antics, sighing heavily instead as he takes in the way Beomgyu still follows you around pathetically.

“Sunghoon, why are you still here? It’s clear that I don’t want anything to do with you anymore,” you refuse to back off as you stare the man down, watching as he simply laughs incredulously at your words; you don’t flinch for a second the moment he begins to insult you, but you can feel the way Beomgyu grows angrier behind you.

“—embarrassing, how you still let your bitch follow you around like that—”

You don’t allow Sunghoon to get too far in his sentence before you’re dousing him with your drink, the projection so sudden that the three of you fall silent. Sunghoon is positively dripping wet with your drink and his face is turning redder by the second, but you don’t let the consequences of your actions set in before you’re tugging Beomgyu’s arm roughly, snapping him out of his trance as you go to run away.

Adrenaline is pumping furiously in your veins as you lace your fingers tightly with Beomgyu’s; you’re not sure if Sunghoon decided to chase after you— you doubt it, really— but you’d rather not find out as you choose to run away blindly instead. The air whips on your face and you’re surprised to feel a grin break out on your face, unsure of where your destination might be as you let out a bewildered laugh.

It isn’t until you’re turning the corner of a street that you find that Sunghoon is hot on your trail; you’re more than surprised to see it, your pace picking up as you tug on Beomgyu’s arm carelessly, eyes flickering from place to place in search of a hiding spot.

Your legs burn and you feel your hold on Beomgyu beginning to slip, yet you quickly find an idea forming in your head as you weave through the trees by a park entrance, pulling Beomgyu along until the soft grass under your shoes turns into hard mulch. You can hear his confused comments as you pull him up the play structure, forcing him to duck down and climb the stairs of the playground before you slump down at your destination.

You feel your back slide down against the warm plastic tube that leads to a slide.

The three circular holes act as windows as the two of you remain huddled in the empty park, giggling amongst yourselves as you look for any signs of your immature ex— you’re left shushing each other and slapping a hand over the other’s mouth as he appears in the distance, clearly soaked and still pissed off as he scans the area for the sight of you; a few moments pass before he’s giving up, probably mumbling angrily to himself as he turns around to leave.

You can feel Beomgyu smile against the palm of your hand— slowly, you turn to him, his eyes filled with such childish joy that you can’t help the way the two of you burst into another fit of giggles; the tube is much too small and you’re knocking into each other as you laugh, incoherent jokes being exchanged between the two of you as you slowly feel the adrenaline in your system ebb away.

“What an asshole,” Beomgyu sighs, placing his hands over his stomach as he turns to you; he’s laying back against the plastic tube, his hair filled with static as it begins to sit up and wriggle around wildly, watching as you laugh and poke fun at him for his wild hair, his head only rubbing against it more as he meets your gaze with a smile that slowly sobers, “you okay?”

You know he’s referring to the onslaught of insults that Sunghoon brought upon you; you’re surprised to find that you had already forgotten all about it, your mind racing as your mouth seems to let loose, spilling your thoughts as you keep your gaze forward.

“What? Oh, I’m fine,” you say, biting your lip before you continue without control, “I just couldn’t stand there and watch him try to insult you too.”

It’s silent at that. All you can hear is the rustling leaves of the trees and an occasional chirp in the distance. Your words seem to set in, and it’s suddenly far too warm in this small tube. You feel scrunched up and achy as you attempt to stretch out your legs, only able to get so far before your feet are pushing against the wall.

It’s a mistake to look back at Beomgyu. He’s sporting that stupid smile that makes you feel sappy, your guard lowering as you find yourself unable to insult your stupid friend. He shifts around, attempting to get more comfortable before your eyes widen— slowly, he reaches out to you.

The action is so tender and his eyes are so fond, his head tilting curiously as he’s leaning his body closer to you. You’re surprised to find yourself doing the same, gulping softly as you watch him hesitantly reach for your face. Tenderly, his face lands on your cheek— you jump up at the shock that sends through your skin.

“Ow!”

His stupid laugh and lack of apology are enough to tell you it had been his plan all along.

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

Your room is a mess.

You’re pacing around, restless and anxious as you run your palms down your clothes; it’s a horrible feeling, your throat gone dry as you glance at the mirror one last time. You’re not one to dress up much, but you know it’s only fair to go all out after the invitation for your friend’s wedding came in the mail like a slap in the face. Personally, marriage at twenty-five is a terrifying concept to you, but hey, to each their own.

Parties have never really been your thing; it was only after an insane amount of mental prepping that you finally decided to send back that small rsvp card, your fingers shaking as you nervously wrote down two for the number of guests.

It was an impulsive decision to ask your friend to come with you as your date-- but you had no one else to ask, and secretly, you wished for this to be the moment the two of you finally got closer. Yeonjun had agreed after some slight convincing, and you couldn’t deny the way your heart soared at the thought of the two of you spending the night together. Yet now here you stand, unsure and riddled with anxiety as you pass by your mirror for the umpteenth time.

Was this too much? Too little? Was the color okay? You hope you’re not overdressed— oh who are you kidding, it’s a wedding— but you also hoped you weren’t underdressed, either.

Your spiraling thoughts had quickly been interrupted by the buzzing of your phone, the notification bringing you out of your reverie as you found yourself drawn to your bed, a heavy sigh escaping you the moment you sat on the mattress; the text messages that stared back at you were oddly reassuring as you skimmed through them.

Yeonjun

hey, you look stunning

I’ll meet you there :)

A smile tugged at your lips; you had been so worried about your appearance that the memory of the picture you sent him earlier had completely been wiped from your mind, his compliment bringing butterflies to your stomach as you hesitantly typed something in return. With your confidence restored, you finally found it in yourself to finish getting ready, trying your best to not overthink things as you smoothed down your clothes in the mirror one last time.

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

Your friend looks gorgeous; it’s a thought that doesn’t leave your head for the rest of the night, a smile stuck on your face as you never miss a chance to compliment her. Yeonjun does the same with you, his kind eyes and soft smile sending a whirlwind of emotions through you as you shyly reply each time.

It’s a bit quiet as you sit at your assigned table. It seems as though you’ve run out of things to talk about, and you find yourself fidgeting nervously with you jacket that remains in your lap as Yeonjun looks around the venue; he’s looking for someone, you’re guessing, and judging the way his eyes widen and a smile breaks through his face, you definitely think he’s found them.

“Hey, is it alright if I go say hi to a friend real quick?” Yeonjun asks, his eyes sparkling as he places a gentle hand on your shoulder. And oh, who were you to deny him when he looked this cute? The way he has you stuttering out a response is embarrassing, but you refuse to let it show as he sends you a happy smile in return.

A slight twinge of regret hits you the moment he gets up to leave— you’re left alone now.

You’re sure you look like a lost child as your gaze follows Yeonjun, unsure of what else to do before he’s getting lost in the crowd. You have no idea who these other people are, and you don’t doubt for a second that the fear must be creeping up on your face by now; the only thing you’re counting on now is the hope that Yeonjun will come back soon.

A few minutes pass; you’re scrolling through your phone awkwardly, pretending as though you’re not counting down the seconds as you glance around the room every once in a while. It’s been ten minutes— you’re sure you look pitiful now, sitting alone at this table hidden in a corner.

After more time passes, you know that Yeonjun probably forgot all about you now. It’s a sad and pathetic thing to feel as you anxiously trudge up to the table filled with desserts and finger foods, biting at your lips as you try not to pity yourself and drown in embarrassment. But before you know it, you’re back to your overthinking self, left on edge as you scurry back to your table the moment you fill your small dessert plate; there were too many people crowding the table, too many strangers that kept glancing at you curiously, probably finding it strange that none of the people at the party seemed to recognize you. (They don’t care, the rational part of your brain screamed at you.)

Slowly, another more time seems to pass by. The bride is too preoccupied and swarmed for you to talk to her, and you’ve “gone to the bathroom” way too many times for it to be considered normal now. You want to go home. It’s such a shame that you couldn’t find the courage to assimilate or even branch out, but the dance floor is too intimidating for you to approach, and you can’t seem to recognize a single song they’re playing.

You’re stuck to be nothing more than an observer, not staring at your phone for once as you scan the room for your date once more; you perk up the moment you find him, hoping that he’ll see you and come back the moment you gain his attention.

All hopes are thrown out the window immediately. You find yourself deflating in defeat the moment you pick up on his body language, watching the way he’s enthralled with the person next to him, so affectionate and bubbly as he stares at them with stars in his eyes.

Oh. You think, feeling pathetic for the way you had gotten your hopes up for even a second. Though, after a moment, you find that the romantic sight isn’t what stung as much— the fact that he left you alone without much more of a thought did.

The room feels stuffy— you told him it was okay to go off on his own, so why should you be mad?— you feel as though everyone is staring at you now, judging you— but you thought he’d return, he insinuated he’d return— the music is so loud, your head is starting to hurt— how would he know you didn’t know anyone else at the party?

The sound of your chair scraping against the floor tiles is unpleasant as you beeline to the entrance, hoping that your brisk steps and troubled expression aren’t too concerning to the people around you. You can feel all the tension within you release the moment you step out, the wind cool on your skin as you let out a heavy sigh of relief.

You feel stupid the moment you begin to reflect on everything, sitting down at a nearby bench as you lean back against it. You feel stupid for everything; for getting yourself in such a situation, for having such difficulties socializing, for coming to this party in the first place— for inviting Yeonjun.

You feel stupid for crying. You feel so, oh so stupid as you let all the built-up stress and emotions leak out of you, unable to stop or control it as you stare up at the sky, at the moon and the stars that seem to be your only company for the night.

“I knew it had to be you,” a voice calls out, and you’re scrambling to wipe at your face, hunched over as you sniffle quietly, much too afraid to turn around to its source as you immediately recognize the mischievous tone.

You don’t say anything, much too afraid that your voice will betray you as you hear footsteps approach you; your heart is pounding, dread that he’ll see you in such a state pooling in your stomach as you stare down at your lap in silence.

“I saw you sitting alone in the corner, but I couldn’t figure out if it was really you,” Beomgyu lets out a soft huff as he takes a seat beside you, close enough so your limbs are touching, his body warm as he silently takes you in.

“Hey, what happened?” It’s embarrassing to hear his voice become so tender, so filled with concern as he immediately reaches out for your hand. You can practically feel his eyes burning into you, begging silently for you to look at him as you shake your head softly.

“Nothing, ‘m just acting stupid,” is all you say, a soft laugh being forced out of you in hopes that he’ll let it all slide. Instead, he shakes his head, bending down to try and meet your gaze that’s cast down at the ground— you turn away immediately, but he’s persistent in his actions as he chases your gaze, poking into your vision until he’s all up in your face; avoiding him is impossible as you laugh at his stupidity, pushing him away as he smiles fondly at you, grabbing ahold of your hands that push at his cheeks in hopes of getting him away.

“You’re not stupid,” he says, his voice soft as he takes in the way your eyes still shine with tears, “well, you are most of the time, but your feelings aren’t stupid.”

A grin is breaking out on his face as he watches you become pouty and angry with him, playfully punching his arm as you insult him in return. It’s quiet for a second, and before you know it, you’re staring at the sky again, shoulder to shoulder with Beomgyu as you try to not think about how close the two of you are, or how you’re slowly leaning your head on his sturdy shoulder, the action welcomed as Beomgyu leans his head on yours in return.

It’s magic; once you start telling him about everything, you can’t stop, surprised that you don’t feel shame or embarrassment for your feelings, the confessions a secret message between him and the moon that shines a light on the two of you. You tell him of all your stress, your troubles, and worries, and how small you felt being left alone inside, feeling helpless as you realized that Yeonjun didn’t find you important enough to return to you.

“I wouldn’t have left your side in the first place.”

The words are innocent as he says them, but it’s enough to make you feel as though the air got knocked out of you, unsure of what to say as you begin to feel your heart pounding against your chest.

“Wha— why are you here anyway?” You say, hoping he didn’t pick up on your stutter as you ask him something that’s been on your mind for a while—you don’t remember him mentioning anything about a wedding at all, and you know for a fact your friend and Beomgyu aren’t even acquainted.

“Hmm? I’m here with Soobin,” Beomgyu says, and you’re furrowing your brows at his words; how in the world did you not see them? “The groom’s his cousin.”

“Oh,” you say, pulling away as you hear someone walking nearby, your body getting tired from being in the same position for so long. Forcing yourself to stand, you watch Beomgyu quickly follow suit, patting yourself down as you look at your clothes pathetically; you let out a soft sigh, ashamed that you let such a pretty outfit go to waste on a night like this.

“God, I feel so stupid for wasting my time on all this,” you say, feeling small under Beomgyu’s gaze as you begin to wonder if you look bad.

Instead, Beomgyu says nothing; he takes a step closer to you, taking your appearance in as you avoid his eyes like the plague. You can feel yourself becoming flustered from his lack of response, your heartbeat quickening as he takes another step closer to you— he’s so close, you can feel his scent drowning your senses.

Softly, he cups your face; your eyes are widening as he tilts your head up, his lidded eyes meeting yours for a moment before he’s leaning in; gently, his lips touch your skin, plush and soft as he places a kiss on your forehead.

“You look beautiful— I’m glad you came.”

Your mind seems to blank at that, unable to say anything more before he’s urging you to go back inside, scolding you that it’s too cold to be out without a jacket— his blazer is coming off the moment he points that out, his jacket heavy on your shoulders as you attempt to process everything.

It doesn’t help that he tenderly takes hold of your hand after, beginning to ramble about how emotional Soobin is as you pretend that you’re following along to everything he says; mentally, you’re still trying to figure out how to react to everything that happened in such a short period of time.

You leave the party with Beomgyu and Soobin (who both made the experience much more enjoyable)— Yeonjun doesn’t contact you even after you’re long gone.

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

“He kissed you?”

“Don’t say it like that!” You fuss, throwing a pillow at Soobin as you cross your arms in annoyance, “He kissed me on the forehead, there’s a difference.”

“Right, of course,” he mumbles, his words trailing off as his focus is drawn back to his game of Mario Kart; it had been an impulsive decision to visit Soobin the weekend after the wedding, knowing enough about the two roommates that you’d be certain Beomgyu wouldn’t be around— so now you sit on Soobin’s bed, biting your lip as you spill your thoughts in hopes of getting a second opinion.

“So…?”

“Jesus, Soob,” you groan, throwing yourself back on the bed in frustration, “You know damn well he’s not like that with me!”

“Not like what?” Soobin’s obliviousness is almost award-winning, and it has you gawking at him hard enough that he can pick up on it from his peripheral vision, “Was it weird? Are you weirded out by him now?”

“Well— no, of course not…” you mumble, trailing off as you’re forced to reflect on what his actions meant to you— what did you feel for him? You’re certainly not disgusted or weirded out by the actions, but you can’t help but feel strange as the memories of that night seem to pester you endlessly.

“I just… feel confused, maybe,” you admit, brows furrowing as you watch Soobin curse lowly under his breath— your eyes flicker back to the screen of his small tv, watching with slight amusement as he gets hit with a blue shell, the man before you jostling in his place beside you on the bed as he takes a second to process your words. Glancing back at you, his eyes widen, quickly focusing back on the screen as he takes a second to think.

“Confused? Why would you feel confused?” He asks, tilting his head before he’s muttering under his breath again— he groans, throwing his head back as he lands in second place, cursing out the person that took his spot bitterly before he’s throwing the control to the side and turning to you, “you’re friends, no?”

“I— yeah,” you say, unsure of why you feel restless as you sit up on his bed— you feel as though what he’s telling you isn’t really what you want to hear, but what you actually want to hear is unknown, even to you, “I just… you don’t think anything of his actions?”

Soobin pauses at your words; it’s clear he’s thinking back to the events you told him about, his eyes drifting to the ceiling before he begins to hum softly, fingers drumming rhythmically on his bedsheets before he’s tilting his head thoughtfully.

“Well, I guess it was a bit random, coming from him,” he begins, watching as you perk up at his sentence, “but he was just trying to comfort you, don’t you think?”

That definitely doesn’t seem to be what you wanted to hear. It frustrates you as you press your lips together, unsure of why you feel oddly underwhelmed at the thought that there was no deeper meaning to his actions— that it had all been done because Beomgyu simply felt obligated to.

“Yeah, I guess so…” you mumble quietly, unsure of why you feel much more tired than you did a few seconds before, telling Soobin to go back to his game as you let yourself get comfortable on his bed— he’s quick to question your sudden behavior change, but it’s far too late for you to talk to him as you wrap yourself in his blankets, kicking his side playfully the moment he asks you to not fall asleep on him; you’re able to see the way he laughs with a slight roll of his eyes, but your eyes feel much too heavy for you to take offense to it.

Your dreams are filled with what-ifs and romantic scenarios with a perfect, faceless stranger, their aura so comforting and warm that you can’t help but feel like you’re at home.

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

There’s something weird about Beomgyu.

Granted, Beomgyu’s weird in general— you’d like to chalk it up to you just being your normal, overthinking self again, but you’d almost say that your relationship’s dynamic has changed; it’s subtle, but it’s there— even if you’re withholding from saying anything from the fear of being proven wrong— his gestures, the way he looks at you, it’s all… shifted.

He doesn’t try to fight you as much as he used to; if he does, he’s quick to drop it, not as petulant and persistent as you’re used to— it always leaves you confused and oddly irritated, smacking Beomgyu’s head away like a child the moment you notice him staring at you a little too long— it never fails to leave you disoriented, his eyes hiding something that you’re not sure you’d like to uncover as you choose to retaliate with violence.

“Stop looking at me like that,” you sneer, throwing your pillow at Beomgyu as the others remain unphased at your antics; it was just supposed to be a normal hangout like any other, yet Beomgyu just insisted on catching your attention with his stupid eyes— his eyes that resembled a puppy’s as you caught him staring at you multiple times in the last thirty minutes, catching you off guard every time as you were left flustered by how soft and fond he looked— after the tenth time of catching him, you found yourself to be tired of watching as he simply smiled and looked away like all the other times.

“I’m not even looking at you,” Beomgyu responds immediately, his face stoic as he looks down at his phone. (That he had just pulled out in a weak attempt to deceive you.)

“Stop lying, you little freak!” You continue, a frown on your face as you throw whatever else is next to you on the bed; you can hear Hueningkai whining about you abusing his plushies, but you don’t pay any mind to his comments as Beomgyu catches it effortlessly, hugging the Molang plushie tightly against his chest as he tilts his head at your comment, batting his lashes in faux innocence. Defeatedly, you groan, lying back on the bed as you throw an arm over your face.

“God, you’re so annoying,” you whine, able to kick Beomgyu’s leg with your limited reach; you can hear the bed shifting past the noise of Soobin and Hueningkai raging on Mario Kart, but you try to not react to it as you press your lips together and shut your eyes tightly— after a moment, you feel Beomgyu’s hand poking your side.

“You don’t mean that,” he says, and you can practically hear his pout as he continues poking you, trying to get a reaction out of you as he speaks, “I know you don’t mean that, right? Come on, tell me you don’t.”

You remain silent for as long as you can— but that proves itself to be incredibly difficult, because when Beomgyu wants a reaction from someone, he won’t stop until he gets one— and after what feels like forever, you finally decide to look at him, simply because you feel as though a bruise will form at your side if this child next to you keeps poking it so aggressively.

“Yes, I do mean it,” you say, squinting your eyes as you find Beomgyu’s face hovering over yours.

Beomgyu has always been like this— always touchy with others, never one to miss up on the chance to cling to the people he cares for— yet, you find your heart beating a little harder now, eyes shaking as you find yourself so close to him that you’re practically sharing the air you breathe; so close you could count every lash on his round eyes that stare down at you, close enough that if you crane your head up even a little, you could kiss him.

Oh god, that’s weird, you realize, eyes widening as you turn your head to the side, looking away from him and slapping your hand flat on his forehead in an attempt to push him away; you succeed without much of an effort, only able to look at him once he’s sat up completely.

“Get away from me,” you scold him, yet even though it’s lighthearted as always, you can’t help the way your voice wavers weakly, quieting down as you watch him continue to pout at you, “seriously, you have no concept of personal space.”

Usually, you’d expect Beomgyu to up his antics by a hundred; torment you like a toddler, forcing your friends to intervene once they’ve decided they’ve had enough of your disruptive behavior— anything would be better than watching Beomgyu narrow his eyes at you, oddly quiet before he lets out a soft “hmph.” Crossing his arms, he scooches away from you until he’s entirely pressed into the corner, far enough so that you can’t touch him no matter how much you stretch.

And just like you requested, he refuses to look at you the rest of the time— his action baffles you so much that you end up scooting over to torment him, whining petulantly for him to look at you again before you give up, kneeling next to him as you watch the way he stares at the wall in front of him, not even hiding his annoyance as he says thought you didn’t want me to look at you.

That’s enough to stop you completely— why were you doing this? Why had his actions bothered you so much? You remain silent after his comment, unsure of what else to say before you’re settling down next to him, stretching out your legs and crossing your arms as you mirror his posture; you look like scolded children, you hear Taehyun comment at some point, but you pay no mind to it as you remain by Beomgyu’s side diligently— it’s enough to have your mind racing with odd thoughts after approximately five minutes.

Beomgyu always smells so nice, you find yourself thinking, the familiar smell enveloping your senses and making your arms hug yourself a little tighter— he smells of fresh laundry and a warm spring breeze. Your eyes grow heavier as you watch your friends play Minecraft on the television— it feels so warm and comforting as you take in the way the sun has already set— you’ll probably have to go back to your dorm soon, but you can’t really find the energy to wake yourself back up as the calming music of the game quickly affects your mind.

Your upper body is sliding against the wall behind you; you don’t mean for it to happen, but it’s such a slow progression that you don’t realize the moment you’re now shoulder to shoulder with Beomgyu— his sweater is warm against your skin, and suddenly you regret wearing a t-shirt and not something warmer— your breaths are evening out, and as much as you want to see Soobin’s finished house that he keeps boasting about, you can’t help the way your vision blurs as you watch the screen in front of you, your head lolling forward a few times before your mind decides to fall asleep.

Beomgyu can see from the corner of his eye the moment you fall asleep, your head dropping down in an uncomfortable position as he finally turns to look at you.

You have no concept of personal space, your voice rings in his head, and he can’t help but find himself laughing as he watches the way you remained glued to his side the moment he began ignoring you, your shoulders pressed together as you slowly begin to lean more of your body weight onto him. Slowly, he moves, careful to not wake you as he reaches out for your head; his hands are gentle and tender as he moves your head to rest on his shoulder, reaching over to a nearby blanket before he’s throwing it over your shoulders— you’re warm beside him as Beomgyu tries his hardest to suppress his smile, biting his cheek so hard he thinks he might just draw blood.

You remain unaware of it all, shifting in your sleep so you’re practically cuddling into his side, searching desperately for more of the scent that brings you dreams of flower fields and love.

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

Your theory has been proven right— something has changed about your relationship with Beomgyu, but it’s definitely not him.

It’s you.

No, Beomgyu has changed a bit as well— he’s sweeter and a lot more gentle around you, sure, but it hasn’t been enough for it to be glaringly obvious— no, the problem lies with you, and the way you’ve begun to act and think around Beomgyu.

Friends don’t act the way you do; they don’t spit out insults left and right and act coldly while their mind races with dangerous thoughts, heart racing a little faster when their mind begins to whisper sweet what ifs; no, friends don’t do what you do, finding yourself staring at Beomgyu much longer than you’d like to admit before you’re paring it off with a swift, snarky comment, enough to start a petty argument that’ll have you wondering if Beomgyu was always so pouty when he talked, his lips pink and soft as you found your eyes drifting down to them more times than you’d like to admit.

Friends don’t pair off such thoughts with violence— it’s enough to have your friends asking if Beomgyu has managed to piss you off somehow, and even though you try to play it off each time, you can’t help but wonder if you really are angry at him.

The answer is somewhat of a yes— but you’re angrier at the way you can’t seem to act the same around him anymore, angry at the way you’ve begun to see him in a new light involuntarily— every intrusive thought is attempted to be pushed down as you try to force your old, feisty behavior back on him.

Eventually, Beomgyu picks up on your behavior as well, and he reluctantly distances himself from you on the assumption that he has angered you somehow— the sudden loss is enough to make you angry with yourself, feeling awkward around him every time your friends hang out together.

Tonight was no exception.

You’re trailing behind the group the moment you feel your mind beginning to wander, the bright lights from the stalls around you and the various items being sold falling numb on your brain as you get lost in thought, the music playing all around becoming muddled to your ears— the festival being held tonight was supposed to be a way for all of you to take a break from your studies and have fun, yet you seem to be failing at the latter as you find your eyes drifting— like a vicious habit, they fall on Beomgyu.

Oh, this is so weird, you think to yourself, still not used to the thoughts that begin to formulate in your head; no matter how much you try to push them away, you can’t help but notice how good he looks tonight; his hair styled nicely, bangs falling into his eyes with every breeze as his hands quickly come up to push the hair out his eyes; the soft lights from above and the lanterns that are lit as decoration turn the scenery around you into one big haze, absentminded as you watch your friends become distracted with the many food and souvenir shops, your mind much more occupied with other things as you find yourself daydreaming.

Like a coward, you turn away the moment Beomgyu catches you staring; your cheeks feel hot and you try to pretend as though you don’t feel Beomgyu staring at you for a moment, much more focused on the cute keychains the stall in front of you is selling as you show Hueningkai happily— it’s enough to distract you from your traitorous thoughts as you wonder if you should buy one, glancing at the price tag before you sober up and decide that it’s better to walk away; you’re giggling with Hueningkai as he pokes fun at you for being so cheap, falling into the playful banter before you feel the urge to look away from him— your eyes meet with Beomgyu’s on instinct.

The way your expression turns awkward and your words die on your tongue doesn’t go unnoticed by Beomgyu— you’re mentally kicking yourself as you watch him turn his back on you, and you’re beginning to wonder if you’ve taken the role of defense so hard that you’ve driven Beomgyu away from you— guilt seeps into your chest as you stare at his back, trailing behind him like a sad puppy as you begin to reflect on your recent actions.

The more you dwell on it, the more guilt you feel, trudging along with everyone else as the distance between you and Beomgyu grows; it’s enough to have you realize how your actions must have come across to the boy in front of you, your heart sinking as you watch the way his eyes immediately jump away the moment they meet yours— avoidant, scared to see your reaction as he quickly distracts himself with something else.

You’ve been acting so childish, you realize, wondering how you can get Beomgyu to at least talk to you again as you try to fall into step beside him— all attempts to strike up a conversation fall short as he responds curtly to you each time, clearly hurt by your previous actions as you find yourself giving up after a while.

Oh, why does it hurt so much to have Beomgyu ignoring you? You’ve done this to yourself, yet you can’t stand the thought of not being by Beomgyu’s side tonight. Your heart feels heavy and the lively atmosphere around you has become a lot more dull than you’d like as you quickly find your thoughts spiraling out of control, wondering what you can do to fix things.

“I heard there’s a firework show happening in an hour,” Soobin says, appearing at your side as the others become distracted with another booth nearby. You’ve decided to fall behind as you notice a booth that’s selling jewelry, two hairpins catching your eye as you stare at the pretty pieces decorated with intricate flowers. You’re snapped out of your daze as you look up, your fingers still running over the flower designs in your hands as you feel the metal slowly warm up from the heat of your skin.

“Apparently the view up there is supposed to be the best,” he continues, nodding at the end of the hill that’s already filled with people, a big tree that grows in the center of it all illuminating them from the warm lanterns that hang from its thick branches, “we should go, don’t you think?”

“Hmm… yeah,” your distant and soft voice doesn’t go unnoticed by Soobin as he raises a brow at you, eyes slowly taking you in before he’s following your line of sight— without meaning to, you’ve found yourself staring at Beomgyu again, watching as he’s gone quiet as well, mirroring your mood and no doubt lost in his thoughts as the idea of you being the cause of this brings a frown to your face.

“We’ll head up in thirty minutes…” Soobin continues, watching as you snap out of your daze and turn away from him; staring down at the pins in your hand, wondering how much they might cost as you begin to rummage for your wallet quietly, “We’ll try to get a good view, okay?”

“Okay, sounds cool,” you say, not entirely processing his words as he ushers you to follow behind him once you’ve bought the hairpins— you can see the way he glances back at you every once in a while, but you try to ignore the concern in his eyes as you force yourself to smile, brightening up your mood in hopes that you can finally get him to stop worrying.

It doesn’t take long before you’re hiking up the large hill; there’s a man-made trail you follow along, and you can already spot the crowds of people from afar, the number of friend groups and couples huddled together making your stomach twist involuntarily.

Inevitably, you find yourself growing tired; the hill wasn’t steep, but you weren’t exactly the most energetic tonight as you quickly found your steps trudging along, watching your friends continue to walk ahead as you reassured them that you were fine— just a little tired, don’t worry.

You’re stopped in your tracks completely as you stumble over a hole in the ground— you’re tripping, letting out a soft gasp before you’re tumbling to the ground; you’re left to fuss over the dirt on your clothes before you realize how much you’ve fallen behind, sighing in dismay as you slowly straighten yourself out— your hands brush over your pockets, and you freeze entirely when you reach inside, only able to find one hairpin as you feel your heart sink at the realization.

It’s completely dark now— there’s not even a ray of light that could assist you in your search, the lanterns from afar not doing much to illuminate the ground below you; you’re falling to your knees immediately as you begin to pat the ground around you in a panic, only able to feel grass and dirt as your hands become dirty, wincing slightly as you feel a particularly sharp rock scratch against your hand; your teeth sinking into your wobbling lip as you feel your emotions threaten to tumble down.

Patting your pockets in search for your phone, you realize with dread that you seem to have dropped that as well; you pause your search in defeat, staring at the dark ground around you as you begin to wonder what you should do— you feel so childish at the feeling of a lump forming in your throat, your heart racing against your chest as you begin to dread the feeling of your eyes stinging— in one last attempt to keep your composure, you sniffle, wiping at your eyes before you go back to your search, desperate to find the items as you pat the ground around you harshly.

“You’ll stab yourself with a rock if you keep doing that,” a voice above you says, and you’re scrambling to make yourself look put together and nonchalant as you raise your head to the sound; squinting, you wince at the bright light that shines at you, shielding your eyes from it as you find the face of the figure that speaks to you— Beomgyu’s expression is unreadable as he stares down at you, tilting his head as he waits for you to say something— after a while, he simply sighs, pointing his phone’s flashlight at the ground and coming to your side with slow steps.

“What happened,” he asks, although his voice is so distant and tense that it barely comes out as a question, “What’re you looking for?”

“My phone,” you mutter sheepishly, avoiding his gaze completely as you let him shine the ground around you with his light. It’s silent between you two, and you can’t help but be frustrated at how tense you’ve managed to make the atmosphere around you again— after what seems like forever, you’re finally able to spot your phone, scattered on the hill below as you carefully make your way to it.

Beomgyu finds it a bit odd that you’re reluctant to make your way back to him, shining your phone’s flashlight and pointing it to the ground around as you seemingly search for something else, despite your words that you’d only lost his phone. He’s taking a step toward you, about to call your name before he sees it— something shines in his peripheral vision, reacting to his phone’s light as he finds himself walking to it without much thought.

“The fireworks are starting soon,” Beomgyu says softly, his voice much closer than you expected as you find yourself turning to face him; his phone is put away, and the only things able to illuminate him are the remnants of the light from the lanterns that manage to reach the two of you and the fireflies that softly twinkle around him.

You slowly tuck your phone away in defeat; it’s much too embarrassing to admit what else you were looking for, gulping nervously as you glance back up the hill— you can see your friends in the very distance, their backs facing you as they remain huddled together— and back at him, unable to stop the way your lips part in shock, eyes widening as you find Beomgyu slowly handing something to you.

The pin is free of dirt as he holds it delicately in his hand, as though he were afraid to break it; you can’t help but notice the way his palm shakes as he waits for you to take it, letting out a slow exhale before he smiles bitterly.

“It’s pretty,” he says, lips pressed together as you take it from him. The small thank you that leaves your lips is awkward and forced, and Beomgyu thinks he might just burst as you immediately look away from him— he feels tormented as he waits for you to say something, anything, only to watch as you continue to ignore the elephant in the room.

Ten minutes. That’s all he has before your attention is taken by the pretty show that is about to begin, and Beomgyu will be damned if he doesn’t take this chance to confront you— to get things back to how they were before.

“Do you hate me?” His statement is strong enough to have you looking at him once more, eyes wide and scandalized as you uselessly attempt to stutter out a reply. Beomgyu licks his lips nervously as he backtracks, clearing his throat as he realizes that he may have started off a little too strong.

“Are you mad at me? Did I do something wrong?” He attempts again, his mind racing and taking control of his mouth as he doesn’t allow you to respond, “You’ve been acting so cold to me recently, don’t think I haven’t noticed. Things have been weird since the… since the wedding thing.”

It seems as though that’s enough to have Beomgyu putting everything together, his brows knitting together in a frown as he realizes how he’s become more vulnerable around you— and how much you’ve pushed him away in retaliation.

“I’m sorry if it was weird. I didn’t mean to change things between us, I’d understand if it made you uncomfortable, but you’ve been acting so mean to me recently, and I can’t help but feel as though I’ve really crossed the line—“

It’s surprising to Beomgyu when he feels his words begin to stick in his mouth, stumbling over them and stuttering, repeating his points over and over as he realizes it’s all happening again. You’ve managed to catch him at a vulnerable time yet again, and he can feel his cheeks grow warm in frustration as he watches as you stand before him, unsure of what to say as he continues to pour his heart out to you.

“Beomgyu,” you say quietly, interrupting him with ease as he finds himself out of breath, sighing shakily as he watches the way you clutch the hairpin close to you, pausing for a second as you begin to think of what to say.

“I don’t… hate you,” you begin, your every word uncertain as though you were trying to figure the answer out yourself, “I’m not mad at you, either. And— and you didn’t cross any lines, nor do I find you weird— well, maybe a little, but…”

“But?” Beomgyu continues, finding himself unable to hold himself back as he urges you to continue, “You’ve been so— so avoidant, and it’s weird because you’ve made me feel as though I did something wrong—!”

“You didn’t do anything wrong Beomgyu!” You say, sighing in frustration as you take in the man before you— Beomgyu seems to be doing no better than you, but in this moment, you feel as though everything is finally coming together, the man in front of you reminding you of everything you’ve been dreaming of— of comfort, of home, of love.

Choi Beomgyu is the type of guy who is brutally honest. He’s the type of person who will ridicule you and poke fun at you in order to get a reaction, to act like a child and throw tantrums in order to get his way and bat his eyes innocently when accused. He’s the type of person that will have you wondering if he’s really in his twenties, and isn’t actually three children hiding under a trenchcoat.

Choi Beomgyu is the type of guy who will show up unannounced, who will find you no matter how far and force you to eat because he figured out that you’ve been cooped inside all day. He’s the type of guy that loses fights on purpose, who will cling to you like a baby under the pretense that he’s only doing it to be annoying. He’s the type of person that will sneak compliments at the most inconvenient times, who will put a blanket over your shoulders and move your head when you’re asleep because he knows how much your neck will ache if you leave it in a certain position.

Choi Beomgyu has loved you quietly— in his everyday actions, treating it like second nature as he cares for you in secret— through his words, through his thoughts, and through his eyes that manage to spill enough emotions that leave you speechless.

Choi Beomgyu is the type of person who will always be vulnerable to you, no matter how dangerous; even if it means you pushing him away again, he grits his teeth and stands before you, baring his heart and asking you to take care of it the way he’s taken care of yours.

“You wouldn’t even look at me,” He says, taking a step closer to you as his voice drops significantly; he’s hesitant, afraid to hear your response as he attempts to keep his gaze cold.

“Why are you being like this?” His voice is hurt and angry, and you can’t help the way everything seems to bubble up and spill out of you uncontrollably the moment he grows defensive again.

“It’s because I like you, dumbass!” The words are a confession to both him and yourself as you finally let it out— the words feel new and strange in your mouth, your tongue testing everything out as you take in the way the sentence leaves a taste behind it— it tastes sweet.

“I like you and it’s weird because it’s all so new, I didn’t think I’d ever feel like this about you and I’m scared because…” you huff, brows furrowing as you take a second to think; Why were you scared?

“Because… I don’t know,” you admit, shoulder sagging as you take in the way Beomgyu can simply stare at you, waiting for you to finish, “I don’t know. I like you and I’m afraid, this is all so new and I thought that if I tried to push these feelings away, it’d all go back to normal, because I was afraid that you’d… that you wouldn’t feel the same.”

Afraid you’d be wrong. Afraid you’d get hurt again, that you managed to interpret all his actions wrong and would simply be getting your hopes up— afraid that you’d hurt him, even though you already have.

“Afraid I wouldn’t feel the same?” He echoes, his voice laced with disbelief as he practically breathes the words out— he feels out of breath, his heart pounding against his chest as his mind begins to process everything you told him— I like you, dumbass, your voice remains on his mind like a broken record, and he can’t help the way he laughs softly, in disbelief as he realizes how stupid this whole argument has been.

“I’ve— I’m the one who should be saying that,” he says, running a hand through his hair before he’s laughing again— then again, and again until it’s all an uncontrollable mess, his eyes creasing and his nose scrunching as he takes in your befuddled expression; you stand frozen before him, incredulous as you wonder how you should respond to a reaction like this.

“I knew you were a bit stupid, but this is just too much,” he teases you, throwing you off guard so much that you slap his arm like instinct; it’s enough to have you snapping out of your heartfelt moment as you pout at him, scolding him for being so mean and ruining what was supposed to be something serious.

Beomgyu is the type to be eerily attuned to a person’s emotions; which is exactly why he chooses to be childish now, when he saw the way your eyes shone with tears and you became shaky as you waited for him to respond, able to get your mind off your irrational fears as you immediately went back to your pouty, whiny self.

You’re so fucking mean, you cry out, smacking him again before he takes your hand; pulling you closer, he smiles, his eyes filled with mischief as he takes in the way you quickly fluster from his proximity.

Beomgyu smells of spring and comfort, his hands warm against your skin as he cups your face gently; you can’t control the way you gulp at his actions, his eyes lighting up as he waits for you to do something— to pull away, to shut him out, anything that could stop the dangerous path his mind is taking— but you don’t, your hand that remained a fist against his chest slowly pressing against it, shaking and firm as you attempt to steady yourself; in turn, you feel his heart, fast and thundering against your palm as you find yourself getting closer to him; close enough to watch the way his hair falls into his eyes, close enough to count every individual lash on his lids that flutter shut, and close enough to feel his lips against yours.

He tastes of honey and the cherry lip balm he always uses, his kiss sweet and unsure as you feel his pillowy lips move against yours; you think you might just melt into him as he pulls you closer, his other hand grasping firmly at your waist before he’s tugging you in closer— chest against chest, trying to feel you wholly as though you’d disappear into thin air the next second— and he tilts his head curiously, deepening the kiss and refusing to pull away even if his lungs begin to burn.

Beomgyu thinks he could stay this way forever; he holds you delicately, as though he were afraid to lose you at any moment, the feeling of your warm palm pressing against his heart the only reminder that he’s alive— yes, he’s alive. This is real, and he finally has you here with him, able to love you as loudly as he wants, if you’ll let him.

And of course you’ll let him— you feel curious as you allow your hands to explore, to run across his shoulders and lace themselves in his hair, able to feel the soft locks that have been blowing about freely all night long— you feel curious to explore these new feelings, letting them in and allowing them to blossom as you finally pull away.

Beomgyu laughs the moment you pull away— because you only do so from the loud sounds of fireworks in the distance, jolting in his hold as you turn around to find the source of the sound; your face is lighting up at the pretty lights, a smile growing on your face as you take it all in.

“So pretty,” you sigh out, looking back at Beomgyu, only to find him already staring at you; you smile shyly as you feel him take in the pin from your hands, reaching up hesitantly before you’re guiding him in his actions; you carefully clip in the hairpin as you smile, watching the way he takes you in carefully— his eyes are fond and sweet as he nods, caressing your cheek before he grins.

“Very pretty.”

You scoff at his response, rolling your eyes before you’re poking fun at how predictable he is— but Beomgyu doesn’t care, and he would do it again, anything to watch as you laugh with joy, growing shy under his gaze as he realizes he’s staring again— but this time, he doesn’t feel forced to look away.

Neither do you. You allow yourself to meet his gaze, uncertain and giddy as you allow yourself to feel everything you’ve tried to hide, to think about everything you’ve tried to ignore. Reaching in your pocket, you pull out the second hairpin you picked, carefully reaching up to brush his bangs out of his eyes; they flutter shut at the action, and you can’t help but smile at how peaceful he looks, his face lit up in every which color as the firework show continues behind you.

“There,” you say after a moment, watching as Beomgyu slowly opens his eyes before he’s reaching for the accessory you’ve put in— you smile as you watch him run his fingers over the design, the same flowers that decorate your pin as you watch the realization dawn on him.

“So pretty,” you say again, and Beomgyu can’t help but smile as you keep your eyes on him— unable to look away, even if it means you’ll miss the mesmerizing fireworks that continue to light up behind you.

As Beomgyu laces his fingers with yours, squeezing your hand tightly before he’s gently telling you to turn around so you can watch the show together, he wonders if any daydream he’s concocted could ever compare to the real thing; he knows that answer is no, not with the way you still can’t help yourself as you glance at him every once in a while, your eyes wide and alight as you look at him as though he were your whole world— he feels as though he could melt with every glance, his heart beating faster as he realizes that he’ll no longer have to daydream.

He’ll no longer have to love you quietly, biting his tongue at the thought as he fights back a delirious smile— pulling you into him, he feels the way you’re quick to embrace him, inhaling deeply before you’re letting out a sigh of contentment.

Your love, your comfort, your home— Choi Beomgyu has been all of it, and you’re more than ready to reciprocate it all as you hold him a little tighter— taking his heart into your hands, with the quiet promise that you’ll care for him just as he always has for you.

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hockeyboysimagines · 5 months

Text

F*ck me like I’m famous

Warnings: phone sex, implied sex, alcohol, swearing, fluff, Vince being a sad boy.

Sorry this has taken so long. I struggled through the phone sex part, so if it sucks. Please be nice to me. Thanks to @cellythefloshie and @jostyriggslover96 for talking me through it.

Enjoy, let me know what you think🤍

J:How’s Canada?

V:Oh you know, Canada is Canadian.

J:Not having fun?

V:I am. But I miss you a little. Not a lot though.

She giggled a little, biting her lip, before she answered.

Vince had left for Canada the week after their official first date. They’d spent every night together until he went home, leaving Josie here in St. Louis. It had been pretty sad, and Josie realized how much she liked him now that he was gone. The days had drug on, and they’d been making it work on the phone, talking when they were able, and nightly FaceTime calls. It was pretty unfortunate though if she was being honest. The most pivotal time in a relationship where you really get to know someone was being done through a phone screen. It had been tough to start, but smooth sailing for the past week. She would be heading to Ontario on Saturday afternoon and staying till the following Sunday. She was excited to see him but also nervous.

J:You miss me, or you miss my lady parts? Cuz she misses you too.

V:Jesus Christ.

J:Your gonna need him when I get to Lindsey next week.

V:🤣🤣🤣no I think that’s you.

J:Oh yeah?

V:Oh yeah. You should start praying now so you can get used to being on your knees.

Josie choked on her water and her whole body shivered.

After having sex everyday for the last two weeks or so, going without it for two weeks sucked. They’d exchanged some flirty banter but this was escalating. The more time Josie spent with him, the more things she learned about herself. And this was a new thing.

J:I’ll get on that right after I get off of you.

V:Just come now. I’ll pay to change your plane ticket.

J:No can do. I still have to finish packing.

V:So what are you doing? Besides tormenting me.

J:Just organizing my underwear drawer for my trip. What’s your favorite color?

She followed it up immediately with-

J:Nevermind. I think I’ll just go without them for the week.

And then her phone buzzed and Vince’s face appeared on the screen.

She answered on the third ring, shaking with laughter.

“Hello?”

“Are you fucking kidding me???” He whispered angrily on the other end of the phone.

“Vince hi!” She said cheerily “What brings you to call me so late in the evening?”

“What brings-you know what.” He was quiet and let out a long breath. Josie felt almost bad.

Almost.

“Are you okay?” She asked.

“No I am not. And it’s your fault.”

“Me?!” She giggled “What did I do?”

“You know what you did.” He mumbled.

She could just imagine him sitting hunched over, arms crossed, pouting so she decided to help him out a little. She bit her lip and took a deep breath.

“You know.” She said softly “I’m not wearing any underwear.”

He was very quiet on the end of the phone but she could hear some movement before he spoke “Really?”

“Mhmmmmmmm.” She wasn’t actually wearing any underwear, just a large T-shirt she’d acquired from his room over the course of the last two weeks. She let a hand trail up her leg “I’m thinking about you.”

“What about me?”

“About how much I miss you. How I can’t wait to see you…how I can’t wait for you to fuck me.” She felt a redness come to her cheeks. Vince brought out a whole new side to her she didn’t even know existed and she was appalled at herself right now. She had never even thought about having phone sex before and yet here she was.

It may have also had something to do with the four glasses of wine she’d consumed but if anything, this conversation was sobering her up at an alarming rate.

He coughed on the other end “And how would you like me to do that?”

“Uhm how about everywhere? How many rooms are in your house?”

“Nine.” He answered a little too quickly “And a pool.”

“A pool? Now we’re talking.” She said lowly with a small giggle.

“FaceTime me.” he said softly “I wanna see you.”

“Uh uh. This is more fun. Are you thinking about me?”

Her voice was sweet on the other end of the phone and she had him so keyed up he was thankful he was alone “I’m always thinking about you.” He responded. It was true. He woke up with her on his mind and went to bed with her on his mind. But she was clouding other parts of his body now besides his brain.

“Do you miss me?” She asked.

“Yes.”

“How much? Cuz I miss you a whole lot.” Josie let her hand slide between her legs and let out a little gasp “She misses you too. She’s been so lonely since you’ve been gone, with no one to take care of her.”

Vince chuckled nervously on the other end of the phone “And what is she going to do about that?”

Josie rubbed her fingers over herself and squirmed a little “She’s so wet. I have no choice but to take care of her myself.”

She heard the distinct sound of a belt unbuckling and Vince adjusting himself in whatever he was sitting in and he cleared his throat “Tell me about it.” He sounded almost a little nervous and she wondered for a second if this was a first for him too, but now wasn’t the time to ask. She felt some confidence exuding now because for once she felt like they were on an even playing field in terms of sexual experience. Most often she felt like he had the upper hand, but today things felt even.

“When I get there next week she’s going to need all your attention.”

She heard his breath hitch on the other end of the phone “You know she’s gonna have it.” He murmured.

“I hope so. Because she’s been so empty, with no one to take care of her.” Her fingers felt good as the moved inside of her and while this whole thing was totally hot, it would have been better if he was here. But this was the best she was going to get.

“Are you touching yourself thinking of me?” She asked sweetly.

“Mhm. I wish it was you though.” His breath was heavy on the other end of the phone and it made Josie hot just thinking about it “Fuck.” He swore on the other end. His voice was ragged like his breathing and Josie too had reached her limit.

“Are you going to cum for me?” She whispered, fingers moving faster inside of her. She definitely was, but she was holding out until he did as well, just like when they had the real thing.

“Yes I-Jesus fuck.” He he ground out from the other end of the phone.

Josie closed her eyes, head falling back “Vince I-“ but the words died as they came out of her mouth. It wasn’t a mind blowing orgasm like she’d become accustomed to, but it was enough to get the job done. It did however bring her down to earth when she realized if things didn’t work with Vince, she might not find another person she had that connection with. But that thought went out the window when she heard him breathing heavily on the other end of the phone.

He was quiet for a few moments before he cleared his throat “Did you-uh-“

“Yes. Did you?” She waited with baited breath for a second before he answered.

“Yeah.” Then he laughed a little “First time for everything I guess.”

She breathed a long sigh of relief and then laughed a little herself “Glad I could pop your phone sex cherry.”

“Can we FaceTime now. I wanna see your face.”

She but her lip “Sure.”

The phone started to ring and Josie took a deep breath before she answered. Vince was a little flushed and disheveled on the other side of it, but he smiled when she answered. She looked down at her lap shyly before she looked back up at him.

“You.” He said brushing a strand of hair from his forehead “Are a very bad girl.”

“Only for you.” She winked and rolled to her side, propping the phone up on her nightstand so she could fold laundry and talk with him at the same time.

“So are you all packed?” He asked, eyes peering at her through the screen. She got lost in them for a second, although the camera didn’t do them justice, and then nodded.

“Half packed.” She turned the phone to show him her open suitcase “It’ll be here before you know it.”

“Yeah.” He said frowning a little with a small sigh.

“I’ll see you in a week okay?” She smiled reassuringly at him through the screen and he nodded.

“Yeah. I’ll pick you up from the airport?” He seemed troubled, eyebrows furrowed.

She nodded and gave him a tight smile, settling into her bed “Just wish you could come earlier is all.”

He actually missed her. Not just the sex part, if that was all it was he wouldn’t be flying her out to Canada for a week knowing his mom would be around. He could find someone at home for sex.

“Cheer up lover. It’s only 5 days. Then you have me for a whole week. That’s a lot of time for activities.” She wiggled her eyebrows and he laughed.

“Yeah you’re right. Next week is going to be exhausting. In more ways than one.”

She giggled and smiled at him “Anything for Lord Stanley. And you too of course.”

They chatted for a few more minutes, as she reminded him of her flight times before they said good night and hung up the phone.

He sighed and set his phone down on the table and leaned back in his seat, arms folded. Josie had turned him inside out and he had no idea how she’d even done it. He’d never really been opposed to have a girlfriend, but he’d also never really wanted one either.

And amidst all that here he was, flying a girl across the country and FaceTiming her goodnight.

Which is why he found himself sitting on his mom’s sofa a short while later.

“So mom. There’s something I wanna talk to you about.”

She froze in her seat across from him “Oh boy. I don’t like where this is heading.” She set down her cup and turned to him eyebrows raised.

“No it’s nothing bad. Just something…good I guess. Well it is good I just-“

“Vince.” She said smiling “What’s going on?”

“So next week on my day with the cup, I’m gonna have a friend from St.Louis fly in and she-“

“SHE?!” His mom said eyes lighting up “She! A girl?”

He rolled his eyes “Yes mom a girl. Anyways she-“

“A girlfriend or a ‘girlfriend’?” She asked air quoting.

“A gir-.” He frowned “Actually to be honest I have no idea. A girl…friend.”

“I’m afraid I don’t know what that means, but tell me about her. What’s her name? What’s she like? How did you meet?”

He was definitely going to have to think something up for that last one because he couldn’t tell him mom that he’d taken her home an hour after he met her and then spent every night with her since then. She would yell at him for not being a gentleman but he also didn’t want that to impact the way she saw Josie either. He knew she was great, and he wanted her to think the same.

He couldn’t tell that to his mom.

“Her name is Josie. She’s great, I think you’ll really like her. And I met her out one day.”

She knew he was lying but she didn’t call him on it. He’d never asked but he was sure his mom had seen the photo of them that ended up online, and if she hadn’t he wasn’t going to start admitting to things now. Though he was an adult, technically, he went out of his way to keep his extra curricular activities private from everyone, but especially his mom. He suspected she knew about a lot of it, but it definitely wasn’t something they talked about.

“That’s it? That’s all you’re giving me?”

“I’ll let her tell you the rest. I don’t want to give away everything before she gets here.”

“Well you must really like her if you’re bringing her all the way here. This is a big week for you.”

He shrugged but she shook her head “No no. Don’t shrug at me. You don’t have to admit it, but I know that you wouldn’t fly her here if you didn’t like her…a lot.” She added at the end “But it’s your business. Either way. Looking forward to meeting her.”

***********

Josie usually slept flights away, but she was too amped to sleep. In just a few short hours she’d be seeing the guy she’d not known just over a months ago, but now she couldn’t imagine not knowing.

It was a little scary if she was being honest. Not Vince himself but everything that came with him. The recognition, the sport, the being a citizen of a whole other country.

Which was actually the scariest part to her.

What if Canadian Vince didn’t like her as much as St. Louis Vince did. What if when she got there he realized he’d rather have a girl from back home celebrating with him.

Was there a girl from back home?

She felt silly but the longer she sat on the plane the more she realized she was stepping into a place she’d never been, with people she didn’t know, to celebrate a trophy for a sport she’d never watched.

Given the opportunity she would have parachuted out of the plane but she didn’t think the pilot would be too understanding about her nerves. Though if he knew who she was flying out to see, he might.

The plane was fairly empty, and she had no seat mates on either side, which left her to anxiously bounce her knee without disturbing anyone.

There was too much cloud cover for her to really see anything. Canada would be a complete surprise and for a few minutes her excitement overrode her anxiety.

That was until the plane hit the runway and she felt like she was going to puke. The flight attendant glanced at her and did a double take, holding out a bag.

“Ma’am your green. Are you gonna throw up?” She leaned back a little bit.

“What? No I’m okay. Just…I’m okay.”

“Right…well maybe you should take this anyway.” She pushed the bag forward again and Josie took it.

“Have a good time!” The attendant called “Don’t throw up!” She said pointing at her.

Josie laughed and exited the plane, locating the baggage claim and grabbing her suitcase, when she felt her phone ding.

V: Let me know when your at the doors. I’m parked outside

She started typing to respond as she exited the doors and got a face full of sunlight, blinding her from seeing two feet in front of her.

J:I’m outside. Marco!

“Polo.” She heard from behind her.

She turned and standing some feet away, was Vince leaning against a black BMW, smiling at her. He was just as beautiful as she remembered, and as he had been the first time she’d ever seen him. His smiled widened as she made her way to him. It seemed like it took ages to reach him, her heart beating just a little bit faster with each step. As she came within a foot of him, she dropped her suitcase and he pulled her into a very hot, wet, long kiss right there in the airport parking lot. She wasn’t sure what to expect if she was being honest. In St. Louis everyone had already seen them making out on the news, but this was his home field and she wasn’t sure if he wanted to be kissing her so openly in public.

When he pulled away she was looking at him surprised.

“What?”

“Nothing, just didn’t know if you wanted people to see us making out in the airport parking lot.”

He chuckled and grabbed her stuff “I’m a Stanley cup champion I can do what I want.” He said opening the trunk and putting her bag inside. She felt a little lurch in her stomach as he slid past her to open the passenger door, hand sliding across her lower abdomen as he guided her into it and then shut the door. He’d had his hands on every part of her body and a little touch on the wait was doing her in. She took a deep breath trying to will away the redness that came to her face as he made his way around the car and slid in. She couldn’t believe how nervous she was. But then he turned and smiled at her and she remembered they’d already done a plethora of sexual things in various places and she relaxed a little bit.

“Ready?” He asked brightly, starting the car and turning to her.

“I think so. Unless you’re sick of me already.”

“Sick of you? Never.” He backed out of his spot and left the parking area of the airport. As he drove she saw the buildings start to fade away little by little and they were replaced by some of the most beautiful scenery she’d ever seen.

“So this is Canada?” He glanced over to find Josie peering out of the window smiling a little “The view sure beats down town St. Louis.”

He smiled a little bit and shrugged “Yeah maybe. But Canada doesn’t have you so I guess that makes it even.”

Josie rolled her eyes and blushed “That was so cheesy.”

“I couldn’t help it. It’s true though.” She looked so good after not seeing her for a week. She always looked good, but he realized now how much he actually liked her. And he was pretty sure she felt the same considering that she’d flown all this way to see him for only a week.

“On a scale of 1 to 10 how likely am I to see a Moose?” She asked still leaned forward.

“Probably pretty likely, but I should warn you to not try and pet them. Not the friendliest. And actually just don’t pet any of the wild animals you come across. There’s not many friendly things running around the forests in Canada.”

“I guess I can only find friendly things from Canada on Ice then.”

“Ha ha.” He said with a smile and watched her, watch the outside.

“It’s beautiful here.” she commented glancing at him “I have no clue where I am, but it’s beautiful nonetheless.” The trees were so thick Josie couldn’t even see through them as they made their way down the road. She hadn’t seen a car since they left the airport.

“It is.” He was quiet for a minute before he spoke again “So….is it okay if I kill you?”

Josie turned slowly to look at him for a full 10 seconds before she burst out laughing “Sure. Just make sure I still look good for the open casket if you wouldn’t mind.”

“Okay deal.” He reached a hand over to rest it on her leg “It’s really nice to have you here.”

“It’s nice to be here. I like getting to see where you come from.” She sounded genuine, and she smiled at him, resting her hand on top of his “Thanks for bringing me on my first Canadian adventure.”

“Hopefully with any luck it won’t be your last. Just stay away from the Moose.”

**********

Josie could see now that Vince was just as popular here as he was in Missouri as she followed him along through the place there meeting his friends and family. She hadn’t even had a chance to unpack her stuff, which was still in his trunk, but she was excited to meet them and get it over with. He didn’t know it, and she wouldn’t tell him but her nerves were a live wire.

He made her nervous that first night but that was nothing compared to this.

“Come here.” He grabbed her hand and tugged her forward behind him through the crowd.

“Mom. This is Josie, Josie this is my mom.” Vince’s mom was smiling at her and waved away her outstretched hand and hugged her instead “It’s nice to meet you, I wish I could say I’ve heard so much about you but Vince only just told me you were coming yesterday and won’t give me any details.” She smiled cheekily at him and then looked back at her.

Josie looked at him for guidance. She wasn’t about to tell his mom that they’d met in a bar and he’d taken her home and had sex half the night.

“We met out one night after the cup.” He said smiling at her “Schwartzy spilled a drink on her.”

“Mr. Stanley Cup Champion over here swooped in like Batman and saved the day.” She gave him a nudge “My hero.”

“I do what I can.” He said with a shrug, but smiled and wrapped an arm around her waist.

The rest of the day went great. She was a bit all around. His friends and family kept pulling him aside to tell him how great she was, which he knew of course. He watched her as she interacted with friends of his, when he felt his mom at his shoulder.

“She’s lovely.” His mom said as she looked at Josie talking with them, laughing like she’d known them for years “And so gorgeous.”

Vince nodded “She is right?”

“How did you meet her again?”

Vince bit his lip and looked at his mom who continued “Because I vaguely recall someone sending me a photo of you kissing some girl that wound up on the news. That would happen to be her would it?”

“Uhm.” He glanced at Josie and then his mom and gave her his best smile, one he usually used to get himself out of trouble “That’s actually from when I met her.”

His smiled faded a little when his mom looked at him flatly. That smile never worked with her “Uh huh. Well maybe next time just think about who you’re kissing after you win a major trophy and remember, the internet is forever.” Then she smiled “You seem happy.”

He nodded “I am. She’s great, and I really like being around her.”

“I would hope so. You flew her all the way out here. You don’t fly someone you don’t like into another country.”

He shrugged “I do. But…I don’t know just seeing what happens I guess.”

“Hmmmm.” She pursed her lips and smiled glancing at him.

“Knock it off.” He said bumping his mom’s shoulder.

“I’m just saying. You seem different with her is all. None of my business.” She pinched his side and wandered away giving him a long pointed look as she did. He squeezed through people saying hello as he did, and found her sliding her glass to the bartender.

“You’re popular.” He said into her ear, one hand reaching forward to grip hers. She smiled at him and felt redness come to her cheeks, both from the wine and from him holding her hand in front of his family.

“Just like back home. I’m sorry you’re so lame and no one wants to talk with you.” She made a pouty lip at him and squeezed his hand. He rolled his eyes, smile widening.

She looked so good in Canada, in a bar with his family and friends, her white dress bright against her tan skin.

“Let’s get out of here. You have two weeks worth of phone sex and dirty texting to make good on.” He waggled his eyebrows at her. They said their goodbyes and much to her delight, he never let go of her hand, and they made their way into his car, driving mostly in silence, and then into his house. It was dark and late, and the sounds of the night could be heard from everywhere as he unlocked his front door and she stepped past him and inside. She heard him shut the door and lock it and a ripple of excitement started to creep through her, sending an electric current into every nerve in her body.

“So.” He said from behind her, causing her to turn. He was half illuminated, half in shadow as he dropped her bag by the door “Which room do you wanna start in?”

She grinned and took a step back “Catch me and find out.”

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