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gildedmuse · 6 months

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Fandom rookie here. Could you please walk me through your Zoro/Law and Zoro/Ace HCs? Love your humor btw!

Ahhh! A little fandom greenhorn! So cute!

You have asked the wrong person the wrong question, newbie.

ZoLaw:

Zoro is from the East, and while he isn't use to Winter Island Cold, he naturally runs hot. Law is from the North and while he HATES being stuck on Summer Islands on hot days, he naturally runs cool. They balance each other beautifully when they share a bed.

Up in the North Blue, it's considered weak to admit that you're cold. Weaknesses gets people killed in the North Blue, so having someone imply you need an extra blanket is a direct insult to a person's ability to keep themselves and their loved ones alive. So obviously Law would never need the extra heat.... But he MAY find himself scooting closer to Zoro-ya on the chillier nights.

The handle of a katana isn't the only thing Zoro can talk around.

...

(Cock. He can talk around a mouth full of cock. And Law LOVES it. Its the only time he can stand one of the Strawhats yapping on).

Look, Law is scientifically minded and likes to believe he is very rational (that's open to debate). He's seen Zoro-ya in the sea and knows he doesn't have a devil's fruit. But sometimes it feels like he does. SPECIFICALLY, one that somehow manages to undo every single one of Law's plans. Because the problem certainly isn't in Law! His plans are complex and perfect. But anytime he comes up for one about how to, say, ask Zoro-ya out it always somehow manages to go terribly wrong. It MUST be a devil's fruit ability.

The first time Zoro actually properly asks Torao out, he first bows to and addresses Kikoku. Since it's imperative he has the curse blades permission to touch his master (especially with all the touching Zoro has planned).

Law doesn't get jealous. That's petty and below him

Law has personally threatened at least three shichibukai and one very (also highly annoying) horny yonko. Not because he was jealous, they just need to step off and stop looking at HIS Zoro-ya that way.

If you ask the boys when they started dating, you get VASTLY different answers. Law would argue that while he'd of course taken notices of the other Supernova back on Saboady, the boy then disappeared for two years and besides Law had a lot of plans that he needed to focus on and execute perfectly. They didn't really see each other again until after Punk Hazard and of course Law was very distracted until after Doflamingo..... Then the horrors they saw on Zou, though, admitedly he may have found himself distracted by Zoro-ya once or twice even at the time.... You know, he would say it was Wano. It was Wano when he realized what an idiot the other boy was, and how he absolutely needed Law on the ground watching after him or he would do something amazingly stupid like... Like listening to Law's plan for instance! When Zoro-ya endangering his life was CLEARLY not what Law intended! Yes, that is when Law decided this boy simply couldn't be considered safe unless Law is there to watch after him..... Also, it's sometimes nice when Zoro-ya looks after him as well.... SOMETIMES.

Zoro would say "Did you see Torao cut that island in half?" And that is all he has to say on the subject of when they started dating.

Law has noticed that Zoro-ya doesn't seem to pay much attention to what he wears, just picks up what is nearest and easiest and throws it on. On an unrelated note, Law has been "accidentally" making sure to strip down right by their bed, and leaving his shirts right there. His shirts with his jolly roger.

Nico Robin had to use not just her ability but her most Teacherly voice in order to separate Luffy and Law when Zoro shows up with the Heart Jolly Roger on his shirt. Law's smirking about it (while Zoro remained utterly confused through the entire fight) didn't help.

Zoro is super weak to people playing with his ear. This goes double when it's Torao and his stupid, sexy hands. He already wants to squirm whenever he watches Torao do that stupid switch-switch thing, but once Torao starts to sit closer and, even while reading his fingers seem to find their way to Zoro's earrings..... Twirl twirl twirl, TUG. Its enough to break Zoro's brain.

Historically, Northern denizens tended to have shorter and much more dangerous lifes compared to the relatively safe and stable East Blue, leading to them having a much different view of things like romance and marriage. That's part of why tattoos are so popular among North Blue denizens. However short your inevitably short life is, a tattoo is permanent. You can't change your mind or take it back. It's a way of wearing your loyalty.

Right behind his ear, the same side as his piercings, Zoro has a small black heart tattoo. He got it on their way up to Wano.

Usopp still doesn't understand how Zoro got lost on a submarine. He didn't see him for a whole four days! What's so funny, Robin.....

I actually have a number of HCs for these two that basically boil down to "Each Island should have its own culture, and by extension, each Blue should have its own culture the way each state has its own culture but the USA also has its own general culture." This can range from things like what I mentioned above, about North Blue having historically shorter lives due to the harsher environment or being more technologically advanced. But I also had smaller things like Law kissing Zoro-ya on the nose, since up North that was how you showed affection to family or younger friends and acquaintances. I also went the entire opposite direction of "smaller" and invented an entirely Shinto derived religion that's customs and kami differed based on the Blue.

I even came up with particular weather that happen almost strictly up North (Ice Storms which are incredibly deadly at sea and Black Mist, a yet unexplained phenomena that seems to choke the life out of any one who gets caught outside) and then wrote up an entire "Old North" mythology that explains the two phenomena and why they often follow each other even though one happens strictly on land and the other typically at sea. I pretty much full on created a whole religion and mythology and wrote individual stories just so Law could have a whole culture that belonged to HIS blue. The myth in question involved a human falling for a siren, and just like actual myths I created multiple retellings and versions where the characterization changed depending on the message the storyteller was trying to express. But in most every version the Siren, Isa, had green hair (because of course the North associates green hair with fertility; oh that's another thing, I created a whole sex profession hierarchy for the North Blue with the one common feature among different types of sex workers being they typically dyed their hair green, like that was a way to physically depict that you were fertile and later that you were, you know, open to being fertilized) and regardless of how they are depicted they end up turning into the shards of an Ice Storm either because they accidentally take human captain's life, do so and then regret their hunger, or are told they have killed them and in turn kill themselves. Law was told the latter version as a child and so always felt bad for Isa, who didn't know they were eating the captain's life force but the crew could have just told him and he would have left and instead because he is "different" they think it's better if he simply destroys himself. It's a character Law can both identify with but also see aspects of Zoro in; both his physical appearance which I'm sure to Law he just pictures Zoro now, but also in his loyalty and honor which aren't as important values up North which instead values survival and strength.

As you can see if I presented an accurate list of my HCs for these two, it would be insane and make no Earthly sense. I just really enjoy world building, especially when that world building leads to two hot sword boys pining after one another.

Oh, did I mention the whole "green hair = sex worker" association and just how personally All Hearts Law takes that when applied to his Zoro-ya?

Yeah.....

ZoBurn FistRo PortZoro

ZoAce:

Upon meeting him during Alabaster, every single non Luffy Strawhat was - at least a little -totally into Ace. He just seemed so cool (and also hot.) He's like a sexy Luffy and the whole crew wanted some.

Zoro wanted it the most, bitches

#“Love your humor!”#Ahh how sweet.#*posts something without bothering with comedy*#Well now you know who I am as a person #one piece #roronoa zoro #trafalgar d. water law #trafalgar law #portgas d ace #law x zoro #ZoLaw #ace x zoro #ZoAce #okay I could have come up with more for Zoro x Ace but here is the thing #It would ALL be about how slutty Ace is #Its like asking for my Benn x Shanks HC #Oh you wanna hear about how slutty Shanks is why Benn just stands around being the perfect husband?#Okay well....#ask and you shall receive #I was going to expand on these then I realized I was already pushing my luck with my lengthy North vs East Blue diatribe #north blue #I need more world building #let's stop pretending the Blues would all just be pretty much alike with with one or two minor changes #Law comes from a very different world than Zoro and I think it would play a major part in how they court one another #and how they see their relationship #look I think a look over my blog says this is no place for newbies to lose themselves #there is danger here #last time someone asked for HC I thought they meant Hurt/Comfort #I was more prepared this time but this is like my first attempts at head canons like this and I'm not sure I'm doing it right #does it usually involve entire created mythologies?

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mairaiscarrierofthepaperclips · 20 days

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Buck: Welcome to the 'Fuck Evan Buckley' club, where we discuss all the reasons you think I've been a bad friend. We talk, work through them, and move on.

Eddie:... I may have misunderstood the purpose of this club.

Tommy: Me, too.

Taylor: I could go either way.

#buddie #911 buddie #911 abc #buck x eddie #eddie diaz #evan buckley #quotes #incorrect quotes #incorrect buddie quotes #incorrect 911 quotes #meme humor #they're in love your honor #tommy kinard

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braindamaged007 · 1 year

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tiktokmuseum · 1 year

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tumblr throwback party

#tiktok #tumblr culture #do you love the color of the sky #i like your shoelaces #dashcon #poot lovato #tiktoks #funny tiktok #funny video #funny videos #tiktok humor

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puppetmaster13u · 3 months

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Prompt 195

“Oh. It’s you.”

The entity that had been summoned practically growled, a cloak like swirling galaxies- or was it swirling galaxies molded into a cloak- shimmering around their form. One pair of arms crossed over a chest where a star pulsed with the heartbeat of universes, alive yet dying as lazarus green eyes glowered down at the league and bats alike.

“You know you could, fucking call, right?” they whined, aura of terror suddenly broken, unnatural fear torn away and leaving all of them wrong-footed and confused.

Well, apparently all of them except for Ras, who had an honest to fuck grin on his face, one that looks almost carefree, if a little feral. Nope. No thanks. Not this timeline-

“But phones didn’t exist last we spoke, ya ‘amar.”

#Dcxdp #Dpxdc #Prompts #Danny got sent to the past by Clockwork for a vacation/training the first time he met Ras #They became rivals of sorts and just kept meeting up #Did they maybe fall in love as well? No one knows but them #On the other hand Ras did get his main Lazarus Pit as a wedding gift #and both Ellie & Dan were half raised like weird siblings/cousins to Ras’ kids #do with that as you will #Fellas is it gay to call your eternal rival your moon?#Ras for once wasn’t doing anything evil- though he’s a horrible person #A good dad yeah but a good person? Eh Danny has gotten used to it and finds him hilarious #They have matching death humor to their past teachers’ dismay and horror #They’ve gotten divorced seven separate times and gotten married three #Depends on the century #half of the time it was either done drunk or for tax benefits

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tippenfunkaport · 3 months

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That viral post that's going around about how people who write "book quality" mlm fic are too "normal" to publish and have real jobs so only "weird" people publish their "shitty" fanfic is so completely out of touch with reality and I am giving a massive side eye to everyone reblogging it.

Not only is it completely, easily verifiably untrue (you cannot enter any professional writing space without tripping over a dozen grizzled scifi writers who got their start by filing off the serial numbers and publishing their Star Trek fanfic even going back decades ago??? it's a whole thing?? plus how can you look at the mlm category on Amazon right now and say with a straight face that people aren't publishing shitty Spirk and Stucky fanfic??? Oh, honey...) it's also the perfect example of this kind of sneering elitism that true artists would never sully themselves by seeking profit, they do it only for the purity of the thing that always somehow leads back to, "no one should be paid to make art, actually."

The only reason you're seeing more published fanfic right now has nothing to do with the idealistic purity of your hypothetical government employee written smut of the past vs the debased scribbles of those awful straights of today and everything to do with the fact that a) self-publishing has created a voracious readership that wants a ton of content so it's become a viable, flexible income stream for many, especially disabled people b) anyone can publish now with self-publishing tools so there are less gatekeepers and c) lockdown got a lot of people into fandom and therefore writing who never tried it before.

And if you really think there's no "shitty" published mlm and no "book-quality" m/f writing out there that started as fanfic, then you are clearly not a reader so why are you even talking about this?

#love how they manipulated people into spreading that post by making it seem like a cishet vs gay thing #when the real message is OP thinks trying to sell your writing is cringe and 'weird' and 'normal people' with jobs would never #which would of course never have flown on the fandom website #so they played into the queer shipping is purer than cishet shipping puriteen thing #and it worked!#because my god people are gullible #this is the direct pipeline that leads to AI thievery #''normal' people write for the joy of it anyway so why do you need pay? you are just greedy and 'weird'!'#'oh no this isn't about who we get to call cringe and who gets to profit from art it's about um...#(quick what's a hated m/f ship?).. oh uh 'shitty' REYLO #and not our super pure uh... (spirk is still popular right? lets throw in that avengers one too to make it seem timely) stucky!'#I'm sorry if I have no sense of humor about this but the year is 2024 and people are still way too ready to sneer #about writers trying to earn a fucking living in the shittiest timeline #and i need you to look deep into yourself and ask you why it's so important to you to tell yourself that only people writing what you like #are 'normal' with real jobs and to vilify everyone else as 'weird' and 'shitty'#for trying to make an income during a financial fucking crisis #i would say sorry for ranting about this but I'm not sorry because wtf #write whatever you want #publish whatever you want #there is no moral fucking purity in what the content is #and one thing certainly doesn't make you more 'weird' or 'normal' than the other #like there is soooo much shitty mlm that started as fanfic???#that post is 100% OP made up some guys to get mad about and called them relyos for the clicks #writing #publishing #writblr #writeblr #i wasn't going to tag this anything but you know what fuck it I'm mad #i had like 5 more tags but tumblr cut me off which is fair 😅#fan fiction

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swervesfirstblaster · 1 year

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best tf scene ever

#u called me for this optimus?#the way he struggles to get up #peepaw getting bullied is my fav type of content #megatron #frenzy #i love the cassetes humor so bad #ravage #laserbeak #tf earthspark #earthspark #earthspark spoilers #maccadam #bumblebee #bee having the time of his life #tfes spoilers #transformers earth spark #when hes no longer your boss dad and u can bully him harder

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ashes-in-a-jar · 1 year

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No you don't understand. Jon has an impeccable sense of humor and every other sentence that comes out of his mouth is some version of an intentional joke that sounded amazing in his head and sounds even better when spoken between two serious sentences which makes everyone around him miss the punchline.

Martin tho? Martin is fully serious no matter what he says. "Smorgasbord" for the Fears? Fully serious. "If I ever see another can of peaches"? Serious. "Righto"? Dead serious. "I can't hear you there is a door in the way"? Furious. "Gouge your eyes out"? A fully serious expression. You want to hear a martin joke? Here is a real life martin joke and it's glorious:

MARTIN

(surprisingly chipper) No prizes for guessing who’s in charge here, eh?

ARCHIVIST

Mm, I – I suppose not.

MARTIN

You know, I really miss the days when I could blame broken streetlights on the council.

A strongly-worded letter just doesn’t feel as forceful when it’s addressed to (funny voice, pitched lower) whichever Dread Power it may concern.

[THE ARCHIVIST SIGHS.]

#your honor he has the best bottom tier sense of humor #i love him #mag 173 #martin blackwood #tma #the magnus archives #1k

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thronealigned · 8 months

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no it's fine this mind flayer is totally my friend and 100% honest with me all the time it's ok it likes me everything's so normal

#bg3 spoilers #baldurs gate 3 #baldur's gate 3 #i love how raphael directly calls you out on this. 'if id have known you were so gullible i wouldve tricked you into selling your soul for #a bowl of beans when we first met'#and then just keeps insulting you more if you keep insisting emp's really your ally #oc: impulse #sure this'll go in their tag #everything about impulse's Thing with the emperor is so funny to me. and then deeply fucked up if you think about it long enough. and then #really funny again if you think about it even longer #one day i'll do their 2.0 playthrough so i can fully form all my thoughts. and get better screenshots and the ceremorphosis ending #i mean there's nothing stopping me from loading an impulse 1.0 save and going ceremorphosis from there but idk it'd feel wrong #impulse has more tadpoles in their brain than synapses by act 3 and it does really fundamentally change them as a person #tfw your chaotic neutral act-first-ask-questions-never no-impulse-control 17 CHA bestie becomes one of the most detached calculating people #you've ever met. all their old casual wit and humor is still there but they think before they speak now and that really shouldnt feel as #sinister as it does. they have this look in their eye and it feels like they view everyone around them as lesser beings #not because they view other people as subhuman or worse than they are but because they view themself as something *more*#if they have any raw unfiltered emotion left you haven't seen it in weeks. there's one person(?) who gets Unrestrained Feelings privileges #and it's the fucking illithid that lives in their mind and not any of their actual non-monster normal-ish-person friends. that human #connection is fading so fast now. when did they change so much? it happened so slowly in the moment but suddenly now they seem like they #were never the person you became friends with at all #and like impulse is a pretty selfish person from the start but they *did* genuinely like and care about the rest of the party. they were #friends. and by the end of act 3 that friendship should be the deepest and most meaningful it's ever been. but. it just isn't.#so on and so forth etc etc like that. All That Bullshit makes their relationship with lae'zel so interesting (and upsetting) too #they encourage her to side against vlaakith and then they never even try to free orpheus for her and her people's sake. they never even #think about it. they never consider it as an option. they just don't care. and then they EAT HIS BRAIN.#very possibly RIGHT IN FRONT OF HER.#and she's just left adrift. a rebel with no rebellion to lead and very little hope #i'm unwell.#ok i'm done this is a silly meme post. but god i have so many thoughts i have barely been keeping contained

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luck-of-the-drawings · 7 days

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ANCIENT wip that i finally got around to splashin color onto. NO idea where this colorin style came from n it WONT happen again!! anyway i LOOOVE the general dynamic between arthur n emizel. both are so cool and so awesome and yet SO silly...

#jrwi fanart #jrwi show #jrwi suckening #arthur bennett #emizel tucker #WEEE art is so fun..FUCKED UP THO that when i posted this on TWITTER...#i wokeup today to like 9 new comments n i was SO HAPPY!! but then i realized they were all BOTS!!DISGUSTING MACHINES MADE BY DISGUSTING PPL #VILE!!anyway so. YES i scribbled this up back when the ep w this scene first came out. what ep was that?? like 2 or so??#GOOD STUFF i love this show so much... the thought of arthur tucking himself down into the back o the car so he wouldnt be seen..#hes so serious&stoic and he just does the funniest shit with the straightest face.ive said it amillion times but i LOVE ARTHURS DRY HUMOR..#I ALSo really love emizel bc AAAA!! THE WHOLE SCENE B4 THIS ONE w him just catching up with soda...#those two are so cute w eachother.... ouhhh....... they are bestieeeessssss #do u guys ever think abt void... where did she come from.. how did her n arthur become friends.....#okayokay i think thats all the ramblings i have in me. enjoy my creations and your day aswell. if you can

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mairaiscarrierofthepaperclips · 2 months

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Eddie *having a crisis*: Well, how did you know?

Buck: Know... what?

Eddie: That you liked guys as well as girls?

Buck: What do you mean? Doesn't everyone find everyone attractive?

Eddie:...

Buck: Don't they?

Buck: Don't they, Eddie?!

Eddie:...

Eddie: You know what, you deal with your crisis, I'll deal with mine.

#buddie #911 buddie #911 fox #911 abc #buck x eddie #evan buckley #eddie diaz #quotes #incorrect quotes #incorrect buddie quotes #meme humor #incorrect 911 quotes #they're in love your honor #If slightly oblivious

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theblacktiecacti · 23 days

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jay went to clown school. let’s talk about that

#art by me #jrwi riptide #jay ferin #i was drawing wherever the wind took me #and it took me to clown school jay #the best destination i could’ve hoped for #i feel like so much could be explored or expanded there in fanon #but i barely see anything #welp if there is none make some #sound off in the comments if you ever think about how jay rarely retracts into herself when faced with conflict #but instead goes to clown school or hitches a ride with the loserest boy she can find #and it’s the rare (and most impactful) moments when she responds differently #shutting down after the phone call with her grandmother #or blowing up after learning about lizzie and ava #or crying as she’s told to shoot her friend in the chest #but the every day conflict almost always gets humor as a response #which leads to very out of pocket moments but we love jay for it #oooooough jay ferin the way you express emotions is so important to meeeee #ALSO the fact that often it’s insult based humor or overly confident in self humor #let’s dissect that jay how do you relate to your friends in the hierarchical structure of the navy academy #did you feel like your humor had to subtly place you at the top? or you would not be enough? jay?#your relationship with kira hinges on fixing this structure by being better than it hm? let’s talk about that #let’s talk about how your life centered a lot around being the best even if not directly or intentionally #should i do a full analysis on this?#i kinda wanna do a full analysis on this

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shit-sorry-fuck-mybad · 9 months

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Give me widower Mav who has come to terms with his husband’s death and now gets to make jokes and comments about it which makes people uncomfortable while he finds it hilarious pls

As someone who lost their father a long time ago I have reached that point where I can make jokes and comments and like to my close friends it’s funny but to someone I don’t know it’s… strange cause they don’t know how to react and it’s truly a small moment of absolute joy cause they make it weirder than it needs to be

Here is what I mean:

Fanboy: Hi Mav! I like your hoodie!

Mav: thanks, it belonged to my dead husband

Fanboy:

Mav: he’s not gonna use it so

…

Hangman, pointing at the ring on Mav’s dog tags: you’re married?

Mav: I was, but sadly he died on a terrible accident

Hangman: oh I’m sorry—

Mav: I’m kidding, he didn’t die on an accident

Hangman: oh thank god I thought I—

Mav: he died of cancer

…

Mav: my husband used to hate this movie

Phoenix: what made him change his mind?

Mav: oh he didn’t, he just died

…

Mav: I miss my husband

Coyote: why, where is he?

Mav: I want to say heaven but he was a weird man so honestly I don’t know

…

Cyclone: Maverick where is the paperwork I asked for

Mav: oh I’m sorry? I was mourning the death of my husband, in case you hadn’t noticed, the audacity, I cannot believe you would come for a widower like this—

#im sorry Ice but that bite was a one way ticket to hell #cheer up tho your little freak husband will join you soon #top gun #icemav #tom iceman kazansky #pete maverick mitchell #dead loved one that gives you trauma but also the ability to make jokes about it and be that weird person of the group #thanks dad #for the humor as a coping mechanism not the trauma #Mav and the hoodie is me with any of my dads stuff #literally I kept his shirts and watched cause they were pretty but when people ask me I gotta explain

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goldensunset · 6 months

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if kh4 wants to be good it’s gotta have like sora excitedly telling strelitzia all about his best friends and how great they are but then it cuts to them acting insane

like ‘my buddy riku is really cool and heroic!’ he’s always got a clear rational head’ ((cuts to riku flipping over cars and/or threatening ppl in quadratum screaming ‘WHERE IS SORA’))

‘oh oh oh and kairi is so kind and brave… her pure and strong heart never falters!’ ((cuts to kairi having a full-on mental breakdown blubbering and sobbing in aqua’s arms))

#you could add on here about his other friends but we gotta at least do these two #does anyone else see my vision #newsflash sora no one is coping well with your disappearance #kingdom hearts #kh #kh4 #mine: kh #destiny trio #i love sora but like. i think he Missed A Lot during that year he was asleep lol #he doesn’t even know what riku did to roxas and xion #does he know how much kairi resents being abandoned again and again #etc #they would never play anything like this for humor even remotely. but like #consider

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katerinaaqu · 1 month

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Epic the Musical:

Circe: Oh my! He cannot be transformed by my powers! What do I do?! What do I do?! Think think I need to protect my nymphs! Oh I know! He's a man after all! I'll seduce the hell out of him to get my power over him back! He clearly can defeat my entourage of wolves and lions all by himself! I mean he's damn immune to my magic! I am sure he can do anything with his sword!

Circe: *aggressive flirting*

Odysseus: Oh my gods oh my gods she is hot...what the hell?! Oh I am just a man! Forgive me... No! Wait! J can't! I love My wife way too much! Please let us go home! I miss my wife!

Circe: Awww that is so sweet! Of course darling. I was always a sucker for a good soap opera. Of course I'll help you free of charge and here's some useful tips for your trip! Drive home safely!

The Odyssey:

Circe: Oh my! This man actually had the AUDACITY to come in my home and threaten me! And he took all precautions (a God helped him no doubt). Finally a man I can consider worthy of standing by my side and not bad looking either!

Circe: Come on, darling. Remove your clothes and let's get down on it! Let's see what you've got!

Odysseus: (oh my! Forgive me Penelope that is the only way to save my men! Hermes told me not to refuse her a thing! She is a freaking goddess that commands all these wild beasts! Power over me or not she's a force to be reconed with!) F-Fine but I cannot do what you ask before I ensure my men are safe. Please release them first and then I will (gods gotta buy myself time! Ain't prepared!)

Circe: *does that*

Odysseus: *sighs* I guess we're doing this...

*A year later*

Odysseus: Okay men you had your fun but I can't keep entertaining her forever! We must go home!

Odysseus: Please Circe let me and my people go! We have to go back

Circe: Oh but can't you stay a bit more?

Odysseus: No...I miss my wife and son

Circe: Fine, my dear, if that's what you want... Your happiness is more important than my satisfaction and I love you so I shall let you go. You paid your price fully. Here are some useful tips for you, some provisions and good luck...

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