some-tings-they-hurt - Tumblr blog

some-tings-they-hurt · 5 months

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Death surrounds me

Through this all I always thought the sacrifices

The pain was all being stored

Like saving pennies for a crisis

I thought, there was more…

I have clawed through miles of soaked barbed wire

Only to find myself at the bottom of the ocean

Human as ever, heart still on fire

One day I will wash up on land, a corpse, frozen

I will die as myself

I am broken

And I cannot be fixed

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some-tings-they-hurt · 6 months

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Realizing I am a Human

The world is so delicate

To interact is to destroy

My heart stays celibate

I am no longer a boy

Every problem is a challenge or a lesson

I wield manifestation and creation

No one is pure in their intention

Now that I am here expect some deviation

Such power flows through me every second

I feel it inside my blood and muscles

I smile at my beautiful and intense reflection

My eyes like fiery puzzles

The dawn of a new day is no longer a chore

Nothing can stop me now or ever again

I know, in this moment, what I am here for

Please stick around for the show, until the very end.

#personal #me #life #art #love #original #writing #sorrow #poets on tumblr #artists on tumblr

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some-tings-they-hurt · 6 months

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My death

There’s an old practice in which you envision you’re going to die today, and ask yourself things like “what would I be doing? What would I be thinking about instead of the trivial things on my mind? What unsaid things would I finally have the courage to tell? What kind of man will they say I was? Will there even be a funeral? Could I fight death, being to being?”

I am not ready to die yet, and the anxiety of manifesting steady growth while recognizing that this all will come in time makes me wonder. If a bomb dropped on my town today, which is possible, what was all of this for? The countdown to my future that never really existed. I know that I am meant for more, but so were so many others that have been stolen by death. To not be taken by dread, but understand that all worldly possessions, responsibilities, and relationships are transient, therefore, more meaningful. That is what I strive for.

#death #personal #me #life #art #love #original #writing #sorrow #poets on tumblr #artists on tumblr

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some-tings-they-hurt · 6 months

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Fear in My Mind

“The dark has always gripped me with excitement and intrigue. The thought of a fight with an enemy no matter how worthy an adversary makes my mouth water with rage and anticipation. Sometimes I wish we lived like savages so I could show them what I’m really made of.”

-me

I fear the gentle and kind, because they know a secret that’s written all over the walls in invisible ink.

I fear the crushing loneliness of this existence. To love is to accept loss. To live is to risk losing it all. How many times can a human lose it all before they become resentful?

I fear the unstoppability of my mind. The thoughts come faster than I can filter them. Anxiety grips me by the temples and pulls me into work every day.

I fear being ungrateful because of my focus on darkness. I have been conditioned to seek the ugly like a dog hunting for an intruder while it forgets it’s sitting by a fire next to its family with all the toys it could want and a full bowl of its favorite food next to it.

I fear pursuing what I am passionate about. I don’t want to be judged. “I fear regret more.” I say, digging my heels in the sand.

I fear dying unhappy. Knowing I wasn’t who I should’ve been.

#fear #personal #me #life #art #love #poets on tumblr #writing #letters #pursuit of happiness

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some-tings-they-hurt · 6 months

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Knight in Shining Armor

I have reached a point in my life that is far lower than I imagined possible.

I don’t want to write about the day to day right now, so I will not.

Simply express how I am on the inside.

I used to think being broken was enough to want to give up.

As heroic as humanity’s will to fall then get up again is, I don’t enjoy it as an existence.

Before, I was broken.

After all this time, 26 years old, I am shattered beyond recognition.

I used to be a little insane, now I am mentally unwell.

I’m trying to say that I am at the end of my rope.

I don’t know what decision to make that will end this hellish existence.

My soul is unconscious.

Now that I have expressed my discomfort, it is time for me to mutate into a plan to change my life.

Meaning Change Myself. Kill Myself and be Reborn again. It will be another uncomfortable evolution, and I apologize to myself in advance.

I am strong and can release my bindings.

#personal #me #life #art #love #sorrow #poets on tumblr #artists on tumblr #original #writing

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some-tings-they-hurt · 6 months

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Anger

As calm and pure as my mind can be

There lies a sickness inside of me

Mindful breathing will not help

I am overtaken, I am not myself

There are triggers in my world

That make me go away

Things they do or say

Make my rational furrowed and curled

I am all alone when it comes to this

For other men have the rage of children

Stomping feet and yelling at their kids

From them, the cycle will not bend

I suppose I was lucky to be raised by me

Truly see the world through my eyes

Killing old ideas like a slaughtered army

I won’t remember your lies

#sorrow #personal #me #life #art #love #poets on tumblr #artists on tumblr #artwork

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some-tings-they-hurt · 7 months

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ryan

Death is something every cell in my body has felt

To be born again does not always mean surrendering to a god

With the rattling excursion into my mind every day

I find an essence of a child with the ghosts of my past

Remnants of a broken existence surrounded by white walls

Hell painted as heaven

As I approach I know he sees me, I see me, as just another one of them

I’m indistinguishable

I am truly sorry to that boy.

#meaning #sorrow

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some-tings-they-hurt · 9 months

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Life in a Nutshell

I’ve traveled to every rock on the outer end of my rim

Run to the edge of the cliffs closing my eyes. Soaring.

It doesn’t have to be a perfect circle to create a hum.

Just hollow and hard. Rotten and healed over. Natural.

So I stay here alone with dreams of the outside.

Another year, another day passed. And I know nothing.

Sleep is the gift of essence. Dreams are exciting.

I crawl outside without anyone knowing. Feeling all.

Expanding my beautiful mind in the darkness.

#comfortably numb

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some-tings-they-hurt · 1 year

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Rubbish

In the depths of my soul's dark chamber,

Whispers echo, a solemn reminder,

I blamed the world for my isolation,

Yet it's my own haunting creation.

For within me, a storm forever brews,

Suicidal thoughts, my spirit to abuse,

Doubting my will to survive and strive,

A self-destructive dance, I can't contrive.

Self-hatred flows through my veins,

A shattered reflection, bound in chains,

Through trials endured, I sought a way,

Only to find myself here, in disarray.

With nothing to hold, no one to call my own,

A desolate path, where emptiness is sown,

I shoulder the weight of this damning fault,

In the kingdom of rubble, a king's somber vault.

No more shall I run, no more escape,

Embracing the truth, my soul takes shape,

The crown I wear, crafted from my deeds,

A throne of ashes, where sorrow breeds.

Yet amidst this wreckage, a flicker remains,

A chance to break free from these relentless chains,

I'll rise from the ruins, reclaim my might,

Forge a path anew, in the depths of the night.

King of rubble, I'll wear the crown,

Embracing the darkness that's weighted me down,

For through these trials, I'll find my way,

And from this shattered existence, I'll be far away.

#personal #life #art #love #me #original #writing #deep #grunge #poetry

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some-tings-they-hurt · 1 year

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In the depths of my despair,

I told myself a lie,

that the world was out to get me,

and everyone had passed me by.

But the truth i could not face,

was a harder pill to swallow,

that the only one who hurt me

was the one I couldn't follow.

I’ve always been at war,

with the darkness in my mind,

the thoughts that make me doubt,

the ones that make me blind.

I’ve struggled and I’ve stumbled,

on this road that I call life,

and every time I fell,

I thought it was from strife.

But now I see the truth,

I’ve been my own worst foe,

and the pain I feel inside,

is something I can't let go.

I hate myself and wonder why,

I’ve gone through so much pain,

but the answer lies within me

Bowing and breaking this chain

The weight of my sorrow

is too much to bear,

and the thought of tomorrow,

fills me with despair.

I feel so alone,

in this world that's so unkind,

and the hope that once shone,

is fading from my mind.

I cry out for help,

but no one seems to hear,

and the darkness engulfs me,

Enveloped in fear.

I long for an escape,

from the pain that i feel,

but the thought of my fate,

seems all too real.

I wonder if it's worth it,

to keep fighting day by day,

when the weight of my burden,

seems too heavy to sway.

But I’ll hold on tight to hope,

even in the darkest of hours,

for the sun will rise again,

and chase away the showers.

I am not alone,

and there is love to be found,

If I hold tight to this life,

and let it lift me off the ground.

For though the road is long,

and the journey may be tough,

I am stronger than I thought.

and I will make it through, enough.

#me #life #art #personal #love #original #writing #deep #grunge #poetry #inspiration

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some-tings-they-hurt · 1 year

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I feel too hard for the world around me

I see humans and they cower

When I look in the mirror I am scared of what I see

Eyes like a tower

The catalyst of a burning branch

It touches the pedals of a flower

I know they see it, the horror, rage, the trance

I enter the room and they all stop their dance

My pity has faded into ashes

My life is a bittersweet romance

Darkness followed by blinding flashes

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some-tings-they-hurt · 1 year

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whatever

I dared myself to play out a dream. Just to see if I could really do it. Turns out I really am in a box. I’m still silent? I shake your shoulders and see your hair move as I scream. I am alone. ALONE. There is no other word I can really put to it. The heaving has broken my spine and as I lay I can finally see the locks.

I undergrow into wisdom and insanity. They won’t even watch me burn.

Unwanted. I am living out the fears of my insides.

Once you give away all of your chips, the prize is never really yours.

I blow away. Ashes to the wind, no need for an urn.

I lost someone that doesn’t exist. A ghost of a ghost that I despise.

The only thing left is hollow darkness and splintered boards.

#im tired #i miss you mom #abandoned #venom #suicide #painful #poets on tumblr #unwanted #release me #alone in the dark

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some-tings-they-hurt · 1 year

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A Cell is a Cell

A true, synthetic stray.

“Do not fear, my boy. For these will take you away.”

Better to see gray than a war, anyway.

Lace up your boots and step into the march.

We’ll take care of your needs, if you give us that heart.

No need for it! We’ll supply the art.

This might sound daunting.

As if we are watching.

Playing your head like a toy.

Keeping your space at pace.

While the truth is here haunting.

You can be sure we are taunting.

You owe us, my boy.

We own you and everything in this place.

Look out there, up ahead.

They take care, and leave you for dead.

And why should they stop? For you are not their kin.

Taking on a lost soul, sounds to us like a sin.

All alone you stood, roaring at a block of stone.

We watched the roar slowly turn into a moan.

My boy, you’re broken.

We may be able to give you a loan.

So here you are. Your wishes are granted!

Look around you, my boy! You must be enchanted!

Wait…What does that say? A cell is a cell?

Do you not like this place where you dwell?

If not, we can make it more like a hell.

You have built all of this on borrowed land.

Even if we keep you here, how dare you take a stand.

My boy, we give you everything.

All we ask is that you never cross our line in the sand.

To die with no mourning.

Our beautifully tragic trophy.

Just wait until morning.

You will no longer be lonely.

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some-tings-they-hurt · 1 year

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Loneliness is more of a presence than a feeling.

Like an organ that doesn’t work or a genie in a lamp.

This ghost that understands me knows no healing

But it caresses me softly, the way a lover would

Half alive in the forest

The rain from the trees

fills up the puddles

I’m tasting defeat

I ended up dead

With hope in my head

From my friend

The lonely ghost, with me till the end.

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some-tings-they-hurt · 1 year

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Journal 937

I thought about how I’ve chosen to keep my “walls” up. At first it brought a tinge of a smile to my lips.

I thought about how they’ll never be able to reach me again. I thought about the freedom.

Then I thought about how I’ll never be able to reach anyone again, and I guess that kind of made me sad.

As much as I hate to admit this, most everything I enjoy was created by these humans. It doesn’t make sense to harbor such frustration toward the only thing that has ever brought meaning to my rotten life.

Then I thought about that. Rotten life.

Ever since I was born I have been slowly killed by those around me. Tortured. Some people are simply sadistic.

Sadistic.

All my life I’ve tried to be as murderous as possible. Don’t look into my eyes or fear will behold your senses. That’s who I am. I am powerful and cannot be stopped.

I thought about my sister. I thought about how much I love her. How I do feel more empathy than most and almost feel as if I should be punished for being alive.

Punished.

I have always believed that if anyone must have all of their teeth pulled then immediately be forced to eat a block of salt, I should be the one. I have always known that I am stronger than those around me in my heart. I know I can take it. If someone needs to sacrifice their well-being for the group, please let it be me. That’s what I am here for.

Sacrifice.

You’d better hurry though. I can’t take much more. I feel like the devil lives inside of my skin and I don’t really mind.

Lucifer.

They say the devil was cast down. He was beautiful. He was an artist. A musician. An outcast. There’s always two sides to every story, but which is more popular to believe?

Lies

My country, my city, the famous people, evil. All based on lies.

I’m deeply devastated and I think I always will be.

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some-tings-they-hurt · 1 year

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Alone

Spinning in the dark

Falling off

I can feel my sweaty hands slip

Through a hinge of my tumblr I see the world

Glimpse /// nothing ///// glimpse /// nothing /////

My eyes can’t focus on what’s happening

I will die blind behind this coffin of a corpse

Bared teeth laughing at my frustration

Biting through my cheeks only feeds my ferocity

I want a friend to tell how bad I want to die

Humans are disgusting and untrusting

So that just leaves you

My sad little field.

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some-tings-they-hurt · 2 years

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Sever

Haven’t eaten in a week

And I’m smiling cheek to cheek

Baby can you feel that, my heartbeat

Or was I always six feet deep

You paint your claws

I bare my teeth

Let’s get lost

Sing me to sleep

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