cvs707 - Tumblr blog

cvs707 · 5 years

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a giant of glass

Sometimes when I close both of my eyes the whole world turns miniature and docile; there at its center I find the narrow streets and interlocking mansions of Amsterdam; past the canals, outstretched fields of green littered with ditches and shallow rivers meandering past the pre-war built cottages till the green of grass and field shifts into the sandy dunes and beaches that reach to where the grayish North Sea beckons in a soft washing of driftwood and seashells. Where a lighthouse would be there stands a candle, and as far as the eyes can see all is lit by its flickering amber yellow glow. This world, and especially its homes seem warm and inviting, welcoming to visitors, and sometimes there I see the smiling faces with mouths that need not a word to say as the tranquil eyes already speak for them, and I try to hold these people as if to say they were good to me, and that I am thankful; they were good to me when I couldn’t let it in, but in a way they did get in – to stay forever, here where the world is miniature and docile. Where I, to my regret, walk as a glass giant, wondering how I ever changed to be this way; reflecting, absorbing, refracting the flickering amber yellow glow of that lighthouse candle that I’ll defend with all my power and prowess to make sure it may never be stomped again; for my shattering hands, my shattering body, my shattered everything!– once unable to let the light in; roaming within the cold of dark, trying to fit together pieces that seemed to fit, but creating something too big and too fragile to dwell within the perimeters of my own heart. Now each step cracks the whole of my body and there is so much to lose if I would topple, yet I so long to reach this sun that never sets; this being of fire, illuminating my final horizon with a heat so intense my soul may flow again if I could keep whole long enough to reach her. . — 16-1-2019, M.A. Tempels ©

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cvs707 · 6 years

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BATTLE:MINE WITH MYSELF

.......BATTLE:MINE WITH MYSELF...........

Every night,I come out of my place,

Promising myself only to drink with the people I adore,

And 2 drinks will be the core,

And if,

If an old friend joins my group and enforces me,

Then, I'll drink one more, and that'll be the core.

And if,

I cross my drinking limit,

Then,I'll try to handle myself in every fucking situation,

Whatever happens to the world. I dont care,

I'll go home walking straight,

Trying not to fall in a pit,or a sewage tank,hurting myself.

......

I can handle myself even after falling in that pit too.

But,the thing is that people are backbitching on me nowadays.

They say that"empty minds are the workplace of devil"

And probably I'm giving it to him,

And in order to work in that workplace,

I drink......I drink till my eyelids feels like a 2 kg. Bar on my head.

........till the world seems blurry to me.

.....

Call me a fucker or an idiot,

But,sitting with friends make it more possible to me to act stupid,

"4 drinks" is the limit I have,

And I cross and exceed it to 8.

My drinking habits are eating me up,

From inside out,

People call me wise in noon,

And I act stupid after crossing my drinking limits,

And then,you know what happens?

......

An older friend joins my party,

And I,I take one more drink,

And I,

I brake my promise with myself,

I kill that rebel that was born half an hour ago,

And I loose the battle I was fighting with MYSELF.

-chandra vardhan-

-(अक्ष)-

#excerpt from a book i'll never write #books #booklover #bookworm #booklr #writeaway #writer #my writing #writers #writers on tumblr #writeblr #love quotes #quoteoftheday #tattoo quote #quotes #quotation #life quote

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cvs707 · 6 years

Photo

Absolutely fantastic

i look for you in silent corners in darkened rooms through cracks in ceiling tiles in places where nobody smiles I look for you until I see the mirrored face of destiny repeating what I cannot say my thoughts begin to float away I focus on the thought of you a child of God before you grew the only thing that time has built are crumbling palaces of guilt

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cvs707 · 6 years

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I haven't seen you crying,

Unless I talk about those nights full of stars,

When you and me were alone on terrace,

Laughing on each and every stupid decision of our lives,

& that were too of joy,

I haven't seen you crying from then,

But,today when I saw you doing that,

My heart broke down,

My soul got shattered into millions of pieces,

I just wanted to b with you today,

Just giving you a tight hug and a shoulder to cry on,

But,this is something my destiny don't want me to do,

Because I'm on this side of screen,

Thousands of miles away from you,

Caged inside a small world,

Carrying the pressure of work,religion,culture,and life.

Our paths are different,

But,I want to come to you,

But,my Destiny doesn't want me to do this,

I know in order to reach to you I have to enter in

The rat trap of love,

& once I entered in this,

The spikes of society & reality will tear apart,

Each and every cell of mine...

-chandra vardhan-

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cvs707 · 6 years

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Let's get lost.

Let's get lost,

Away from the society,

Somewhere in the clouds with birds

Above the planes and copters.

Going directly towards heaven

and residing a proof of our love to god,

Then coming towards the earth with rain,

Taking the hold of air

and giving water to some cardamom plants,

We'll take a nap in there,

Then we'll go to the roots watering plant in loops,

We'll then reach to the fruit via routes through stem,

And,be the seed of cardamom,

And,then becoming a spice,

Going to someone's tea,

Or giving a sweet flavour to someone's life,

We'll surely be taken by someone in mouth just before the kiss,

Or,maybe be served for a flavour,

And,then we'll become symbol of love and eternity,

Let's just get lost tonight.

.

Let's get lost tonight,

Somewhere in the sand,

Below 2-3 layers of water,

We'll play with the fishes,

We'll move from one place to another,

& then move towards a bank of river,

Where we'll be taken by a potter,

& he'll make an effigy of god from us,

We'll be taken to a temple somewhere,

& we'll get worshipped there,

Giving a hope to helpless,

&then we'll become a symbol of purity and senity,

Let's just get lost tonight,

In ourselves,

Just you and me.....

-chandravardhan-

#excerpt from a book i'll never write #writer #writers #writers on tumblr #excerpt from a story i'll never write #ts4 story #story #short story #sims 4 story #storytime #my poem #love poem #poema #poems on tumblr #poem

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cvs707 · 6 years

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One Last Favour.

Today,the night is full of Stars and moonlight,

And the lights of stars penetrating through

The glass Windows of my room,

The passing lights tends to vanish the curtains of the Window and make an image of a girl of 5'7,

I was sleepy and that image is mesmerising me more,

But,I'm awake now,

At first,I thought that it's a fairy or some kinda magic,

But after a continuous gaze of 5 minutes,

I'm sure that 'tis you,

And if this is you,

I want you,

I want you to look to look at your right,

Yep,2 feets away from you,

Can you see a broken glass vase at that corner?

If you can,then,I wanna tell you that this broken vase,

Keeps remembering me about the broken promises of yours,

Now,look 10 feets away from it at the angle of 90 degrees,

Can you see the trunk at the corner?

Do you know what's inside it?

Let me tell you what is inside it.

There's a box in this trunk containing 728 letters,

Of the game we used to play,"One Day One Letter"

Do you remember,once you said that you don't know how time flies when you are with me..

And now I can't make an assumption that how your time flies and mine don't even move,

Uhhh!leave it.I don't wanna make myself sad talking about the past,

Now,look at the third corner,

Can you see the dust out there?,

It remembers me of some of my uncleared doubts,

That,why you left me when you said you love me?,

Now look at 4 feets up in the second shelf of the 4th corner,

Can you see the picture of us on the shelf,

Captured on 6th july 2k17,

When you and me both were sharing an ice-cream,

& suddenly,that fallen down on my denims,

I don't know how funny it seemed to you,

But,I started laughing at those unconditional laughs of your's,

And at that particular moment one of my friend captured our picture,"The Most Beautiful Memory I've Ever Had."

But,now when I see it again,

It breaks my heart every single time,

Because you're not with me now,

So,

I want you,

I want you to give me my heart back,

Because,at this particular moment of my life,

I don't like it when you love someone else with my heart,

So give it back to me,

Do this one last favour for the one last time......

-chandravardhan-

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cvs707 · 6 years

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Your Kinda Perfect.

I've found,

That love can't be expressed in a phrase,

Neither in words,

Nor in poems,

It's just a thought of writers who imagine it to be perfect,

& try to write it's concerns..

.

But,I've found,

that it is perfectly imperfect.

it's something that's not kinda picture perfect,

but,it's something that makes that picture of life perfect.

It's as imperfect,

As our humanness,

It's a bit quirk,

It's like lighting a match in rainfall..

.

It has some infinitesimal details,

Like the curls around your smile,

And the wrinkles at the corner of your eyes..

.

It's not in candle lit meals,

That's just fancy restaurants and stomach,

Or spending night just talking to each other on phone,

It's in spending night in arms of beloved,

Under the open skyfull of stars..

.

It's a permanent attachment to a temporary person.

And It's good to found a imperfect love,

'Coz that's what you have to make it,

....😍😍your kinda perfect😍😍....

-chandravardhan-

#excerpt from a book i'll never write #my writing #writers #writing #writers on tumblr #writeblr #excerpt from a story i'll never write #love poem #poems on tumblr #poema #poem #poets on tumblr #poetry #poesia #nine muses #love #i love you #self love #love quotes

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cvs707 · 6 years

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From inside the dark room,

I'm relentlessly looking at the moon,

from the Window holes of matrix 25×15 at the leftmost corner from my bed,

The room is cold enough,

But,there's no need of blankets,

Because the heat of my thoughts and tears were making me warm,

At that time ,I was a bit sleepy & a bit awoke,

Perfect time for chaotic thoughts. Right?

So,

I was feeling like riding the rainy clouds,

Along with the generator,operator.destroyer(god) of the universe & the angel of death,

Telling them the tale of my heart and heartbreak,

With nightingales chanting some cosmic melodies,

Just to accompany my talesl

The tales about the journey from being unknown to known,to known to friends,to friends to best-friends,to best-friends to lovers and from lovers to strangers again,

..

At some parts of my tales god was smiling,

For an instance when I mentioned

That love broke me but it made me confident about my insecurities,that I'm what I'm,

I can't change but I can accept them with a bright smile,

Basically,he was proud of him,

That he created such a story with tears but a beautiful end..

&

At some parts of my tales angel of death was smiling,

Like when I mentioned about one of your lines,that,

You said that love is like a rope bridge with no support and has no end,

But,when I asked about it in my muse that when I was was walking through it,why you burned it from behind,

He was happy that it's the time when I'll worship him to let me with him,

But,as I already mentioned that the rate at which god was smiling was 6-7 more than that of angel of death,

& while telling more such tales of love and heartbreak,

I slept,

& when I woke up,

I found ashes of thought beside my teary pillow,

Along with the dusty memories of that night,

Ohhh!Didn't I mentioned that "That Night I Cried For Hours".......

-chandra vardhan-

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cvs707 · 6 years

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...Biased..

At the same abandoned coffe shop,

Where we first met,

When it was functioning with all it's staff and people,

Sitting on the same corner table,

Where I proposed you,

Without concealing my love from you and society,

Trying to write to mure our murk memories,

Like "Raj malhotra" did for his love, (BAGHBAAN)

Trying to comprehense our non-pariel love story,

& inspecting it through Shakespeare's eyes.

I've realised that writings has finally became

a nostrum for me to forget you,

&though I'm not good at physics at all,

But, I'm sure that the theory by people,

i.e. love is like a normal on reflecting surface,

At which whatever you'll give will reflect to you,

Is totally wrong.

Instead I've found,

That,

Love is a normal but on a refracting surface,

Where if you 're lucky enough then only you'll get back love,

Or else you'll piss off yourself loving someone else.

& in my case,

I'm from the unlucky ones,

And now as any other heartbroken person,

I became a writer too,

Writing to put all the shipwrecked pieces of my heart,

And trying to endure the pain given by you,

And writing about your good images

Comparing you with rose,first rain,

And killing me and my feelings,

But,I'll keep writing as I promised to you,

Doesn't matter how much it's hurting me,

And,finally just wanna let you know,

That though you broke my trust,

My love is still intact for you,

And you can come again whenever you need a friend,helper and most importantly love.....

-chandra vardhan-

#love #artists on tumblr #poets on tumblr #writers on tumblr #tumblr #magyar tumblisok #writing #writers #my writing #excerpt from a book i'll never write #poem #poems on tumblr #poema #love poem #my poem #heartbreak #heartache #my heart #purple heart

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