#you woke the love of life and living in this jew

[notaplaceofhonour]

Wolfenstein could have just been a dumb cathartic game series about a jacked blonde dude killing nazis and I would’ve loved it for that—and for most of its existence it was that—but I just can’t stop thinking about what it’s like to be BJ Blazkowicz. not “Billy the Butcher”, not the Nazi-killer, but the man (if you will, the mensch)

what is it like to be BJ Blazkowicz, a Jewish boy whose abusive gentile father ensured he never got to be raised Jewish, whose only connection to the Jewish people for most of his life was his mother, to be BJ Blazkowicz who fought Nazis not because of who he was but because he had a body that could and a duty to do it? what is it like to be BJ Blazkowicz, who lost his ability to fight when he needed it the most, locked in the prison of his own body, rotting away as the world rotted around him, who woke up a Jewish man in a world all-but-empty-of-Jews as the Nazis came for him, not even knowing he was Jewish but because he was disabled? what is is like to be BJ Blazkowicz, a Jew who had to break into a concentration camp, whose body bears the trauma of that place in every cell to its very core, only visible as numbers on his skin, who cut those numbers off himself without anesthesia to free himself from the reminder? What is it like to be BJ Blazkowicz, longing for connection to a way of life he can no longer participate in, and yet embodying its survival in his very existence, eager to learn from the few fellow Jews he can find? What is it like to be BJ Blazkowicz, a Jewish man severed from his Jewish body, his body stolen by Nazis, only to be replaced by a constructed body not his own—as un-Jewish and un-human as it could be, grown in a lab by Nazis—and yet fundamentally Jewish, developed with technology stolen from Jews, stolen back by Jews, to make him a golem—what is it like to live in that contradiction? What is it like to have lived through all that hell, and then to raise daughters who are able to laugh and play in peace, in spite of everything? What is it like to be BJ Blaskowicz, a Holocaust survivor, an American golem, fighting for the survival of his people for so long and finally stepping into a synagogue for the first time in his life, learning the prayers he couldn’t learn before, that he didn’t think to learn before he was afraid he couldn’t? What is it like to be the meat-head man of action falling head over heels in love with learning for the first time—learning our history, our culture, learning Hebrew, learning Yiddish, learning what it is to be Jewish?

what is it like to be a guardian made in our image, to protect us and lead us forward—golem and messiah? what is it like to be BJ Blazkowicz?

#New Order/New Colossus ​is such a deceptively rich text #bj blazkowicz #wolfenstein #jewish #jumblr #shoah mention #cw ​nazis #the new order #the new colossus

[the-garbanzo-annex-jr]

So stop your despicable whining. You are a disgrace and a shame to Jews like my friends and me who, for two thousand years, never had life as good and as privileged as you have it. They were getting butchered in Kiev and Odessa in their meager hamlets. They were burned at the stake during the Inquisition. The Crusaders broke into their homes and treated them as Hamas-ISIS does. And you are whining that 32 Muslim and Indonesian and Pakistani and Black Student groups sign a statement hating Israel and loving Hamas-ISIS? That is what they are. Grow up. They cheer the subhumans who cut off limbs, beheaded, and burned even children and babies. The Left distinguishes between bad rape and good rape. Hamas-ISIS is good Woke rape. Rape women who want peace. #MeToo. So, O Jews of campuses, stop whining. If they chant “From the River to the Sea, Palestine Will Be Free!” then gather a hundred of you and chant “From the River to the Sea, Yis-Ra-El Will Be Free!” If they chant for a “Palestine” that is a fraud because there are no “Palestinians.” But then you chant for Israel. Chant for Israel. And really get them angry by singing “G-d Bless America.” (READ MORE: Patiently Waiting for Israel’s Ground Invasion to Crush Hamas) As Woke leftists, you have been taught to whine, to seek safe spaces, to cringe at microaggressions. But whining will do no good. It never does. Get out there and affirm you are Jews. Affirm Israel’s right to live, even if it must kill 100,000 Gazans as collateral damage to exterminating Hamas-ISIS. Accept that the DEI Woke have no room for you. Stop waiting to be saved by off-campus organizations. You have to save yourselves, for G-d’s sakes! Christians will respect you for it. Many will join you. You don’t have to let a handful of foreign students — who do not even belong in America — along with a bunch of Jewish self-hating apostates, beat you down. There are more of you than them. Stop marching to the showers like lambs. This is not Auschwitz; it’s Harvard Yard. Stop whining. Fight back.

On the one hand, Fischer is pretty harsh. On the other hand, as we've seen, nobody is going to stand up for Jewish students. They only have themselves. Even psychotic, Jew-hating bullies respect strength.

By they way, there is more to the article. And Fischer is just as harsh.

#jewish students #whining #whiny jews #antisemitism #campus antisemitism

[certifiedlovergirlsstuff]

dont grow up

summary: It’s Will’s birthday! And we will never forget! (looking at you duffers)

WC: 930

warnings: none, just a delicate early morning moment shared between Will and Reader

A/N: definitely going to have different lengths for these in between stories. i did not look at the day march 22 landed on before i wrote this (it’s a thursday) so just ignore that and it’s saturday morning in this story. also reminder when i mention anything to do with being jewish, i’m pulling it from my own experience and some google knowledge. IM A BARE MINIMUM JEW

previous chapter  next chapter

March 22, 1984

You tread quietly as you open the door, trying to avoid any of the creakings it makes from the hinges. You dipped your head inside the small opening and looked around for your morning victim. The room was pretty clean, with just a few items laying across the floor, a jacket or two, a backpack thrown by the door, shoes resting by the closet, and a big lump on the bed. Bingo!

You pushed the door further open and crept in slowly, you probably could have been mistaken for the grinch with the posture of your body. But you weren’t stealing presents on Christmas morning, no, this day was a lot better than Christmas. It was Will’s birthday and he was 13 today. Now you weren’t able to throw him a bar mitzvah, well no one in your family was able to get one, bar/bat mitzvah. Money problems were one reason, another was that you didn’t go to a temple, and also there wasn’t even one in Hawkins, only churches. So you didn’t do the whole process leading up to the big day, but it didn’t mean too much to your family if any of you didn’t have one.

What mattered most was just making sure the special person felt loved and cared for on their big day, and they could do whatever they chose to for the day. Joyce would make sure that there was a big breakfast with all their favorite foods and after that is when you could decide what to do, you could be with your friends or you could stay with family or if you wanted you could be alone. Jonathan on his birthday didn’t want to do much, you just stayed with him as he went around places in town and tested out the new camera you and Joyce bought for him. Joyce takes the day off and spends it at home, you and Jonathan make the food for the day to give her a break. For your birthday last year, Jonathan got you tickets to go see a local production of The Rocky Horror Picture Show a city over, now because you didn’t have friends (Will’s words, and before Robin and everyone else) you forced Jonathan to accompany you. But you had the time of your life and you knew Jonathan enjoyed it as well even if he did look a bit shocked at parts.

When you approached closer to Will’s bed you slowly knelt onto the mattress and crawled in, and ever so slowly you fell against the sheets and threw an arm over Will’s sleeping figure. You pulled him in close and laid your head atop his and just enjoyed the peaceful and quiet moment until he woke up. The Byers were a pretty affectionate family, but not all the time. Everyone would give out hugs or just hold someone's hand when needed, but everyone also knew to not step over boundaries. You usually don’t just crawl into Will’s bed and hug him, but this birthday felt really special to you. Will was alive for another year, Joyce and Hopper were able to save him from the Upside Down thanks to El. You don’t know what you would do without Will, if he actually did die in the quarry like Hopper assumed at first, or if he died in the Upside Down and you wouldn’t have known, you wouldn’t be able to live with yourself.

Movement caught your attention. You pulled your head back and loosened your hold on Will and he rolled over with his face now just below your chin. His bowl cut hairstyle was a little messy and damp from night sweats, and the oversized plain white shirt that probably used to belong to Jonathan swallowed him up. He cracked an eye open to peek out and a smile grew on his lips when he saw it was you. He then shuffled closer and copied your earlier actions, he threw an arm over your waist and held onto your sleep shirt, and he laid his face against the warm heat of your collarbones.

You kept a tight hold on him, you thought if you even moved a fraction of an inch he would just turn into dust and disappear again, but he would never come back home, gone forever. You petted his hair in a rhythmic motion to lull him back into a quiet slumber, allowing yourself to just remember him this way, scared of him growing up and not needing you anymore. He may grow out of needing you, but you know you’ll never stop needing him in your life to function properly.

“(Y/n)?” Will’s sleep heavy voice broke through the thoughts.

You didn’t move your position so your reply was aimed at the wall you were staring at, “yeah buddy?”

He shuffled in closer, not leaving even a breath of space, “can we go to the arcade later? I was gonna meet up with the party there.”

Lips twitching at a smile, “yeah, we can do that. Let’s just go back to sleep for now.”

Will nodded his head against your chest and his breathing soon started to even out telling you he dozed off. You kept running your fingers through his hair to keep him asleep, then soon following in Will, your eyes started to become heavy and your lids were being pulled down by gravity.

Just before you let sleep pull you into her comforting grasp, you spoke one sentence into Will’s hair,

“Please don’t grow up, for me.”

----------

taglist: @heartyhope​ / @preciousbabypeter​ / @dessmxsworld​ / @piper3113 / @animiacorn​ / @burn1ngw00d​ / @drxwstxrkxy​ / @m-rae23​ / @noisyeggsmoneystatesman​ / @yournan69​ / @thats-s0-ravenn​ / @ameliabs-world​ / @mayonesavegana​ / @gracella0709​ / @gengen64​ / @alecanimeposts / @choclate32 / @stvrdustalexx​ / @redheadedfangirl1​ / @agustdeeyaa​ /

#The Byers Harrington Story #stranger things #strangers things reader insert #stranger things x reader #stranger things imagine #stranger things fic #stranger things series #stranger things self inster #byers!reader #stranger things x byers!reader

[therealsaintscully]

A sign of life from me (saintscully)

If anyone's still reading, and remembers where I'm from in the world you'll know happened to my country, to my people last Staurday. I am relatively safe but definitely still in shock. My life will never be same. I woke up Saturday morning to the sounds on endless air raids and every belief I had about living here, a piece of land that is an active volcano, proved to be horribly wrong.

I haven't slept since. My mind is going a thousand miles per second, but last night, after a nearly year's long hiatus from fic writing, I remembered a piece I wrote for 'Turned', a story that from start (not yet written) finish, is nothing more than me trying to come to terms with being a Jew. Of putting myself in the shoes of the other side in the conflict.

Liebe's story, which I'll add below, is based on a real anecdote, one of many. A young man pushed by his grandfather into a mass grave - it's a story I read in a Ronen Bergman's book 'Rise and Kill First', and is the real story of one of Mossad's chiefs. His grandfather pushed him, and that's how he was saved. Decades later, he saved countless Jewish lives as head of Mossad. I weaved it into 'Turned' in a way that, unbeknownst to my readers, will be critical to David's story while kidnapped by Abi Nazir.

That story is the kinds of stories we grew up here hearing from our gransparents. I wrote this into Turned as a historical lesson learned.

It happened again this Saturday, to so many people. Parents hiding their 10-months old twins in the closets before being gunned down in their shelter room. Women hiding under heaps of bodies, pretending to be dead. Party-goers rounded up into a circle in a field, gunned down with RPGs and automatic weapons. I heard accounts from Saturday from friends, relatives, colleagues, from ex-military friends currently in reserve duty - whose loved ones were kidnapped into Gaza and are still mising, like pawns in some twisted game, just like David in 'Turned'.

I'll never be the same again.

I'm not coming back to tumblr, and can't fathom coming back to writing these fics, but something in my life came into a very brutal full circle this week. I went back and read this part of the story and it hits so differently now. I feel like such a fool.

I hope you're all well. Thank you for the love and kindness you always showed me.

-Sasha

----

(From 'Turned')

"David was fifteen when the school's headmaster called everyone to assembly. It was a gorgeous, snowy December noon, only a few short hours before their long-awaited Christmas break. The entire student body murmured impatiently as the headmaster escorted a frail old man to one of the chairs onstage.

Impeccable in a three-piece tweed suit, the old man sat with a grunt, never letting go of his cane. The yellow star on his chest and the number tattooed on his arm left very little to the imagination as to who he was and what he was about to tell them.

Little Liebel—as Leonard was called by his family—was eleven when their neighbours rounded up the Jewish men of the village at gunpoint, leading them into the depths of the nearby woodland. Under the cover of a dark, moonless night, the Jews were instructed to strip naked and dig a pit in the frozen ground, then line up along its edges with their hands raised. Standing in the cold with his eyes closed, his teeth rattling loudly, Liebel was surrounded by neighbours and relatives—uncles, cousins, his grandfather.

A burley, rugged man of few words, Liebel's grandfather and namesake held his ground behind him, his chin pointed defiantly. In his decades heading the village's volunteer fire brigade, the elder Liebel saved many lives, including those of many of the men who stood in front of them, guns loaded.

“Skaičiuojant tris,” the village doctor called out, and Liebel drew a deep breath. On the count of three. The truth was, Leonard had confessed, that he’d felt relieved. They’d heard rumours of gas chambers and death camps by then. If one must go, he supposed, then doing so proudly with your family by your side was the way to go.

Suddenly, Liebel felt a warm hand—his grandfather's—covering his back, pushing him over the edge. His small body dove into the pit just as the guns started firing, but his would-be killers never noticed.

His uncle's lifeless body nearly crushed his spine before Liebel ever hit the ground.

Liebel hid under his neighbours and relatives’ bodies whilst they writhed and moaned, begging for help. Gushes of fresh, dark blood kept his naked body warm.

Just before midnight, he watched as life slipped away from his grandfather's cobalt eyes. The grove fell deadly silent. Liebel crawled up the pit, soaked in blood, and never looked back again.

The story stuck with young David for an hour or two that day, as much as a teenager's attention span would allow for a story so unfathomable, so alien. Imagine his surprise when, years later, he’d found himself, sweat-sodden and shaking, standing over an abyss—not in the woodlands of Lithuania, but the arid sands of Afghanistan.

At least, he was quite sure that he was. A combination of powerful sedatives, a sack covering his head and three days of travel crammed into the boot of a car had left him disoriented, but he knew through some sixth sense that he too was standing over a precipice. He had no idea where or why they were there, but there was no mistaking the perplexed battle cries as gunfire shot from every direction. As minutes passed, more and more people crowded next to him over the precipice.

For his captors, something had gone horribly wrong, and they were all about to pay for it.

He'd never been so relieved in his life.

On the other side of their pit, a dozen faceless men loaded their weapons while static filled the desert air. Out in the distance a man yelled words he did not understand. On the count three, he imagined it was. In an unexpected burst of trench musing, he wondered whether the Afghan desert sands had ever been blood-free. Whether they ever would be.

‘I’m coming, love,’ he whispered, closing his eyes despite the sack covering his face. He was ready. ‘See you on the other side.’

And then a warm hand covered the small of his back, pushing him over the edge.

“Jump!” a voice whispered, and there was no mistaking whose it was. “Now!”

[captainimprobable]

Hey Furubacord, I don't know how many of you still follow me or don't have me blocked, but I wanted to talk about what's happening from my POV.

In January, I made a comment about how hard it is living with my parents. Everyone dogpiled on me, said it was my fault bc I'm not doing enough to move out, I should leave the state, I should get another job, and then getting mad when I said I couldn't do those things since I had just gotten out of a depressive episode. They insinuated they'd been talking about how annoying it is when I talked about that for awhile (that and my love life) and I said something rude to them. So I immediately messaged every single person and apologized. I was told it was fine. I was told this would not ruin our friendship. This was a lie. For the next eleven months I was COMPLETELY IGNORED by one person, and barely spoken to at all by a few others. I noticed this but stayed in the discord bc I really like a lot of you and wanted to stay friends with the ones who didn't inexplicably hate me. In September I stopped interacting as much with the Discord, and finally by November I decided to leave. I made a post saying I was leaving, and that I'd like to stay friends with people, and then things just. Got so bad. People IMMEDIATELY started shit talking me in the group, calling me a "colonizer apologist" for reasons I don't get but am assuming it's because I dared to say Israelis shouldn't be murdered either. I woke up the next day to almost every single person in the Discord unfollowing me on all social media, and someone who I had spoken to the night before, who told me they wanted to stay friends, had blocked me. Nobody spoke to me about this. Nobody told me what was going on. I can only assume a bunch of yall have been talking in DMs about what a bad person I am for awhile, and you convinced each other to drop me. Do you know how much it hurts to lose like ten people at once? People who you thought you were close to? For reasons they never explained? Do you know what a blow to self esteem it is to realize that your friends have been talking shit about you for possibly months, and were just waiting for you to leave so they could officially drop you? Idk if you dropped me bc of what happened in January or bc you assume I'm anti Palestinian (which I never once said???? And was pretty clear about???????) but either way it was hurtful and honestly immature, especially in the case of the people who promised we would stay friends. Idk if this will get back to yall and even if it does you'll probably talk amongst yourselves about how right you were to leave me, what a pain I am, and how much better you are than me bc your activism looks a little bit different from mine. Do you feel better now? Now that I'm no longer annoying you with my personality or pissing you off for caring about dead Jews? Thanks for four entire years of what turned out to be a complete lie. The only reason I don't think I wasted my time there is because I still have a few friends in the server who I love dearly and who didn't randomly drop me (thanks you guys). I figured out I was nonbinary and a lesbian in this server. I met a few of you in person. I gave a lot of you advice. I thought of some of you as my younger siblings. But message received. I'm out of your lives now. Thanks for doing it in the worst way possible. Hope you feel great about yourselves. Bye ig.

#jaytp #happy one week since i discovered a bunch of my friends secretly hated me <3

[gods-sugar-daddy]

Characters I want to rattle like an angry maraca for an undiscerned amount of time based on how chewy they are

Call him gum the way I'm chewing on him all day

Starscream

Look at him. He's a petty bitch. He's standing there all smug and confident while thousands of traumas happen around him. He's a girlboss, he's an unrepentant pathological liar, he's megatron's silly rabbit, he's my babygirl. He's one of those toys that is animal shape but if you squeeze it, it's eyes or stomach pops out. I want to do that to him constantly. He has an immortal spark so it's ok he'll live.

Newt Giezler

He's the type of scientist Ian Malcom would hate. He's the Icarus of his tale. He overshot the sun and landed in the black hole at the center of our galaxy. He's not doomed by the narrative, the narrative is doomed by him. He's like a dog you need to keep an eye on constantly or else he decides that he actually can eat chocolate and devours a whole cake. Telling him to slow down is a slap in the face. How dare you tell him to wait for everyone else when he can finally see the way to save humanity, all the while becoming their enemy's greatest weapon. He's so invested in interviewing God he forgot he was dining with the devil. Who gets the bill in the end?

Jason Todd

Look at him. Look. He's everything he's been told but so much more. He's the tragic son. The black sheep. His past is rags to riches, his present is the unsettling truth, I hope his future is good. This is the guy that got me into fandoms. He is a part of my soul. So hurt and beaten by the world yet still kind and caring.

Ramses II (Prince of Egypt)

I am not talking about the real Pharaoh, only the one created by Dreamworks. Now I am a slut for good sibling dynamics but the best one is sibling vs sibling. I want that drama, the emotion of caring for someone your whole life only for them to betray you. Moses was ok to fight Ramses I when he went to free the Jews but to face his brother, one of the closest people he's ever been to, it's devastating. The utter joy when Ramses expressed when Moses is alive, he practically abandoned court etiquette. He was willing to lie to his father to keep Moses safe. They were the closest of brothers and now they're pitted against each other.

A rubber band, sproingy but not sustainable

Jazz

What do you see when you see Jazz? A happy go lucky guy without a care in the world? Wrong. He's Special Operations which means he's cheats, lies, steals for a living. He operates on a kill or be killed basis and he will kick your ass if he feels like it

Sunstreaker and Sideswipe

They're precious boys. They stand out from the Autobots bc they're so decepticon like. They were in the same Pit as Megatron and instead of joining him, they chose the Autobots. And despite all the comments, they're so loyal to the Autobots.

Skyfire

Imagine crashing in a snowstorm then waking up 4 billion years later that your entire planet is dead. Skyfire woke up to a world devastated by civil war, to a decepticon that wore his partner's face. He thought he knew what he was getting into because Starscream wouldn't lie to him. But he did. Skyfire shot down his ex because he's a good bot at heart and it hurts him to see someone close to him like this. He's a main character of a Greek tragedy.

Predigested sludge

Bumblebee

Listen, I love Bee. He got me into tf. But my god is he everywhere. I get it, he's the kids character. But he can be fun and playful and still kick ass. Looking at his arc from tfp to its successor RiD15, those are two different Bumblebees. Id love to shake him but he's Hasbro's cash cow. You can't shake a cash cow without the jangle drawing out capitalists.

#lots of tf currently bc they infested my brain #chewy boys

[papirouge]

I’ve had a hard time finding cute blogs or YouTube channels that are homemaking while also being chill? You know? I thought I found some but always ended up leaving because they’ll make comments against liberals - being political or go full on “I believe race mixing is unethical :) god bless!” - or something similar. I followed this one girl on youtube and at first she was cute about homemaking. I don’t care about “improving femininity” cause I think that’s a scam tbh. But while she did talk about, it was her homemaker stuff I loved. Then I found out that she was featured and like a lot of white supremacy/“save the white race” content online. A lot of it. I don’t k ow what makes domestic communities like homemaking/sewing/cooking/etc attract really awful hateful people and even fetishists

Yeah, that's something that I noticed. Many Western go to the trad lifestyle as some sort of political cope rather a genuine interest for a more simple authentic lifestyle.

Which is pretty weird because traditional lifestyle is the most.... politically neutral statement ever? Like, most people on this earth live traditionally regardless of their race. Trad lifestyle is pretty much the defaut. Sure people will have TV and electrical appliances, but they still go to the market everyday to do their grocery bc they hardly have a fridge, cultivate their own food/have their own cattle for subsistence, and have a very simple lifestyle circling around family and religion. My mom bought a fridge for my family in Congo and they hardly used it because they didn't see the point lol they preferred going to the market, and buy the food they needed for the day. It's a whole different mindset actually.

Back to White supremacists nationalists: they're really delusional to think that going trad is remotely going to have any impact politically. Since I'm from Europe, it's a well known thing that the European parliament (which is not elected by citizens lol) is now more powerful than our own president and they pretty much can do whatever they want. They're for example responsible for the encouraging mass immigration (regardless of what the citizens of countries want) so basically popping pure White™ babies and living recluse in a farm isn't going to help in any way to keep Europe White... That's why supremacists are bounded to fail.

And that's precisely why I've always said that stockpiling guns was stupid and pointless. Like, what's their end goal? Living their life in fear of having a darkie getting too close of them? There will be a war anyway, it's unavoidable. And as Christian we shouldn't be involved in that mess. Going trad is pointless if you're not spiritually yoked with God. Only God will grant you the serenity of feeling good in your life and peace of mind (despite trials and hardship).

Don't you find interesting that as removed from society (and darkies) they are, those people ALWAYS have a tip on their shoulder and seem always bothered and anxious about anything? (the survival of their race, of their culture, mass immigration, shoehorning their obsession with the Blacks/Muslim at any opportunity...) NONE OF THAT MATTERS IN THE EYES OF GOD. Actually God is very cheeky; He might actually Save a bunch of these "invaders" to make His point ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯ (Nebuchadnezzar anyone?) That's what's so funny with Christian White supremacist, they somehow think they have the monopoly on Christianity....when Europe itself has been converted. Do they think Europeans woke up and suddenly accepted Christ? No, it happened through the migration of population (apostles traveled A LOT), and yes, race mixing (the apostle Timothy was mixed FYI, half Greek half Jew). Even in France churches are surviving thanks to the Christian subsaharian populations who are attending in masses. There are some Whites of course, but you'll notice most of the time they are friends or relatives of Black believers. In France, many White preachers are married with Black women.. it makes sense bc Christian subsaharian African communities are a HUGE driving force into Chrsitian conversion and fellowship in France. And I think God knows what He's doing by making it happen through this migration movement.

Meanwhile, where are the White Christians who have to protect the uwu Christian White Europe? NOWHERE. They talking about "preserving White culture" day and night when on the practical field they do nothing. They're only whining on the internet and thinking growing apples in their garden and selling merch makes them political activists. Give me a break.

#answered #tradfem #tradmen

[stephenjaymorrisblog]

Lugubrious Anarchist

Stephen Jay Morris

November 18, 2022

Scientific Morality©

My amygdala, otherwise known as the region of the right brain, is all fucked up. I don’t know whether I’m depressed or just frustrated. I know that Jesus was rejected by his own people. This doesn’t mean that I have a Messianic complex or a slight case of megalomania. I just feel bad.

I have been locked out of yet another anarchist message board. They must think I am a Cyber troll or an agent of the state. I have been locked out of other political message boards, too. From Twitter to FaceBook, I am buried in obscurity. My videos on YouTube have a low viewership. So, what now?

Should I blame myself? Conservatives would say yes, however, my logic says no. The type of Anarchists we have now are bourgeois, Millennial, white kids who started their careers playing video games on the Internet. As with any movement, the youth are the most enthusiastic and vibrant members. This incurs resentment by the preceding, older generation, which is a normal occurrence. Back in the day, we had a generation gap between the old Leftists and the new Left. I know I’ve said this before and I say it again here: The old Left declared, “Your long hair will alienate the working class!” Well, in a way, it did. The working class “Hard Hats” of New York City attacked Hippie, anti-war protesters circa 1970. A decade later, Hard Hats and major league baseball pitchers sported long hair! Truth be told, the old Left was opposed to identity politics. They used to say to us Yippies that homosexuality was not in the interest of the working class. Well, they changed their tune in the 70’s!

Today’s kids may dislike Baby Boomers, but the conservative Millennials have been brain-washed by Boomer Conservatives and routinely use their rhetoric to attack the so-called “Woke.” The stereotype of woke is not only cringe, but outright retarded and stupid! This is the real reason I am sad. The reality is that some Zoomers dislike me as a Boomer. It’s stupidity on their part, however. One day, they’ll realize who the real enemy is.

So, I am theoretically retired. I’ve promised myself to quit the Anarchist movement and do some charity work, or travel around the planet to see the natural beauty that it has to offer. Maybe explore the essence of inner peace and the soul of just being. Meditate by a waterfall and watch beavers gather up branches to build a dam across a river. Yeah, I might just stick my head in the sand or hug a Redwood tree.

All I wanted to do was to show the younger generation how corrupt American corporate culture is and the phoniness of Evangelical Christianity; how they advocate for personal liberty and then, on the other hand, want you to conform to capitalist classicism. I wanted to impress upon the youth that the Anti-Authoritarian left is different than the Authoritarian left, or just better than the Authoritarian right.

Maybe 200 years from now, there will be an Anarchist revolution. I think the only way America will have one is if Fascism does come to the USA, and the state’s suppression will push the youth into armed struggle. We are getting close. The ignorance of the working class is helping to bring forth this Fascist state, whether it be Christian theocracy or white nationalism. When the totalitarian state is established, the white working class will realize that the Fascist state will not improve their lives. In fact, it will make it worse. They will realize that Jesus is not coming back and the only way to survive is to sell Meth. They will realize that the Feminists, Blacks, illegal aliens, socialists, Islam, fake news, and rich Jews are not their enemies, but that it is the white men in corporate boardrooms and pastors behind the pulpit that are doing them in. Alas, they will find out when it’s too late!

As for me. My love of my life, Pamela, and I will live out our lives into our golden years with love, happiness, and freedom and, hopefully, peace. I will make damn sure that nobody hurts us!

I will slowly back away from American politics because it fuckin’ sucks! Good luck suckers!

#anarchist #anarcho primitivism #anarchocapitalism #anarchocommunism #anarchofeminism #green anarchy #anarchopunk #Stephenjaymorris #stephenjaymorris #poets of tumblr #american politics #baby boomers

[lunarvalleysbetterplanet]

July 27th I woke up from a dream that I had been left behind in the rapture. It terrified me. Like sobbing on the floor, fear induced panic. I was so scared, in fact, that I interpreted it as God calling me to salvation. to recommit my life to him. I got caught up in that fear and I surrendered everything to him.

my spirituality, my sexuality, my personality, my interests. Every little quirk that makes me who I am I tried to hang on the cross and crucify. I fervently started reading the bible. Joined a reformed church and got baptized. Got involved. Spent a year so far down into this religious spiral that I literally couldn't recognize myself.

New creation: I wasn't bisexual. Being LGBT was a sin according to the bible. I'm pro-life now, because the bible tells me so. I need to give god all the glory in every single little thing I do, so no more television or secular music. I have to pray without ceasing and I have to be good. Keep pressing on. Keep trying and trying and trying. Believe this feeling is peace. Believe you want to be this person. Believe. Believe.

Hyper-fixate to the point you're literally more lost than you have ever been before. Read the bible. Learn the greek. Read old dead theology dudes. Do bible studies every monday. Plod on. Fail. Fail some more and keep fucking trying.

Come on, Danielle. Crucify yourself. You're supposed to be a new creation. Don't lust. Don't admit how bone achingly lonely you are all the time, even in the crowd of people at church. Don't admit how consistently out of place you feel. Shove it all down further and further. It's a spiritual attack. The enemy must be after you. It can't be that something is off. That this isn't fully real. That you let fear catapult you into a year long attempt to silence religious trauma.

Tell your therapist you don't have any religious trauma. Tell yourself you have to keep going or you've failed. You've done it again. Wishy-washy, back-and-forth, all or nothing. It's how this always ends up because it's never sustainable. You failed. You cannot die to yourself. I am not able to crucify myself and I can't let go of the old creation. She fought to be herself. She fought to be get better. She fought to read tarot and play with crystals and dream about boys and girls and not give a fuck and unapologetically be herself and embrace her sexuality.

Fucking fear. I'm so scared of hell. I'm scared of eternal punishment. But I have so many doubts and questions and I cannot turn off my critical thinking any more. If God is love than why do I feel so much fear? If God created me in his image than why am I supposed to suffocate everything that makes me who I am?! If God created the whole universe, and he is eternally sufficient with himself within the trinity than why does he us to glorify him? Why does so much of the bible not make sense? Why have no amputees ever been healed? Why are there so many denominations and interpretations and yet, we are responsible for finding the exact right one so we can secure eternal life in Christ? If God is truly just and loving, how can he have predestined some of his creation to hell. He created them to simply send them to hell? What of all the people who never hear about Jesus? What about faithful jews and muslims and buddhists...why can't they go to heaven if they lived devout lives? If God was the one who designed the world, and then made us and planned it all out--then he created everything with the intention that we'd fail and sin. He is the one who decided there had to be a blood sacrifice to atone sin. Why? Is that not humankind being set up to fail spectacularly? It doesn't make sense.

What makes sense is that all religions are trying to piece together truths of something bigger than us. It makes sense that we were created, that there is a higher power who created the world and let it evolve. That ultimately all paths lead to the same place. Or maybe that there is nothing. And that we are all just searching for meaning while we spin around on this damn planet. Or that, if God is love and he created us, than he is infinitely forgiving and that despite the dual nature of humanity, god is love and ultimately no one burns.

No matter where I land, I have to let go of evangelical christianity. Even if its going to be messy and difficult to leave my church. Even if it disappoints my mom. Even if it means that, yep, I did it again and flip-flopped. Except for once, I simply have no idea what I believe. I am letting myself deconstruct these beliefs that have affected me since I was a little girl. Seeing what each day brings. Allowing myself to just exist.

#tw religious trauma #deconstructing christianity #tw christianity #religious trauma

[rourhksapocolypse]

So, the other day I mentioned to my brother (who is in leave, atm) @deadcatwithaflamethrower 's post about Ashoka being potentially anti semitic, and he just looked at me and asked, "So?"

This may seem insensitive. But it's actually profound.

When I was a kid, this kind of thing was silly. It was stupid. Why should I care that Brad Pitt broke off a "stable?" marriage because of Mr & Mrs Smith? Should I stop enjoying a dumb action movie because a marriage stopped?

A week ago or so, Mom made a fuss about me only wearing an undershirt at work, when that keeps my top shirts clean (and her making a fuss meant one of my only pure white shirts got permanently messy).

Why? Because it is unprofessional, and because, apparently, my corner of Colorado only associates undershirts as wife beaters and "Gay People Clothing". Because Queen wore undershirts without a top shirt.

Am I supposed to be offended by that? Am I supposed to change my ways so they don't think I'm gay? When I'm autistic, probably FIM Asexual, and leaving a social life or friends that aren't family because I drive people away by accident?

...

These thoughts come because of one simple question. "Have I become too 'Woke'?"

The answer, obviously, is yes. Because, as Mom put it, I had three mothers growing up, and only one of those wasn't a sibling. Because everyone, at all times, corrected me to what they thought was right, leaving me unable to form my own opinion, however well meant those controlling tendencies were.

Now, for those offended, those genuinely hurt, I'm gonna quote Xomniac in This Bites! here:

"I can't speak for you. I don't know what You've been through. I don't know your pain, your hardships. I can support you, but to keep the cycle of hatred from flourishing, I can't speak for you. You have to speak up and take action yourselves."

Is Disney hating on Jews with casting a traditionally "Jewish" actor as a greedy Imperial? Or are they just playing on public perception and image, using what's already there to convey the message?

Or is it even purposeful? Because I've hurt a lot of people with word choice and action that I didn't consider would hurt them. And all I can do is look for brightness in these dark times.

As I wrote this I remembered something else from the radio, K-LOVE, specifically. A guy who reads Bible passages and adds context in his little segment, Ruis Balau, once mentioned that he was having dinner conversation with his family and his daughter asked why he was focusing so much on the bad that he wasn't talking about the good in the world anymore.

Because, that was one of his jobs, as a Christian. Or, part of what he's supposed to do, same as me. To acknowledge the bad, yes, but to shed light onto the world with kindness and caring.

Am I falling into the same cycle of focusing on the bad and forgetting about the good?

Are we?

As the American people, are we forgetting the good in the world, and thus only spreading more of the bad?

Are we nitpicking enough, that we forget to appreciate what we have?

I needed to get this out of my head, so I leave my questions here, unanswered.

Goodnight, and get home safe. Hug your families and loved ones, if you have any left. Send love and support, monetary or emotional, to all those who need it in your lives.

Maybe that's me (and yeah, probably).

Maybe that's Flamethrower, who lost one of the last people who cared about her growing up and fears for her children, struggling with politics and money troubles.

Maybe it's someone I know nothing of and whose existence is meaningless to me, but everything to you, dear reader.

I don't know, but love them like a dog to his/her "Best Friend in the Whole Wide World" (tm).

#life rambles #pieces of my life

[drwilfredwaterson]

Earthquakes in Various Places, Salvation, Spirit and Truth, Rebuilt Castles, Love, Faithfulness, Fear of Almighty G-d and Wisdom, Knowledge, Peace and Prosperity. Part 2/2.

Earthquake: 04:38:07 PDT…

Earthquake: M 1.4 - 37.2 km (23.1 mi) SE of Mina, Nevada

2023-08-15 11:38:07 (UTC) 38.142°N 117.823°W 8.0 km depth

In Monte Cristo ("Christ Mountain") Range at approximately 6580 ft. elevation.

04:38:07 PDT Strong's Concordance #7 abad: to perish, lost, forever (Yiddish). Original Word: אֲבַד

Mark 4:30 Again he said, “What shall we say the kingdom of God is like, or what parable shall we use to describe it? Mark 4:31 It is like a mustard seed, which is the smallest of all seeds on earth. Mark 4:32 Yet when planted, it grows and becomes the largest of all garden plants, with such big branches that the birds can perch in its shade.” Mark 4:33 With many similar parables Jesus spoke the word to them, as much as they could understand. Mark 4:34 He did not say anything to them without using a parable. But when he was alone with his own disciples, he explained everything. Mark 4:35 That day when evening came, he said to his disciples, “Let us go over to the other side.” Mark 4:36 Leaving the crowd behind, they took him along, just as he was, in the boat. There were also other boats with him. Mark 4:37 A furious squall came up, and the waves broke over the boat, so that it was nearly swamped. Mark 4:38 Jesus was in the stern, sleeping on a cushion. The disciples woke him and said to him, “Teacher, don’t you care if we drown?” Mark 4:39 He got up, rebuked the wind and said to the waves, “Quiet! Be still!” Then the wind died down and it was completely calm. Mark 4:40 He said to his disciples, “Why are you so afraid? Do you still have no faith?” Mark 4:41 They were terrified and asked each other, “Who is this? Even the wind and the waves obey him!”

Strong's Concordance #6580 pash: to disintegrate; foolishness, ignorance, extremity, a brief infatuation, a "crush". Original Word: פַשׁ

Taylor Swift - This Love (Taylor's Version)

Published: May 5, 2022 (125th day) Duration: 4:08 (248 seconds) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mvxQYPR4lmU mvxQYPR4lmU mvxQYPRlmU lmmpqruvxy 20+30+30+60+70+80+200+700+300+400=1890. 1890+4=1894. 1894+248=2142. 2142+125=2267.

Strong's Concordance #2267 cheber: From chabar; friend, a society; company, organization, association, wide, charmer, charming, enchantment, spell. Original Word: חֶבֶר

John 4:6 Jacob’s well was there, and Jesus, tired as he was from the journey, sat down by the well. It was about noon. John 4:7 When a Samaritan woman came to draw water, Jesus said to her, “Will you give me a drink?” John 4:8 (His disciples had gone into the town to buy food.) John 4:9 The Samaritan woman said to him, “You are a Jew and I am a Samaritan woman. How can you ask me for a drink?” (For Jews do not associate with Samaritans.) John 4:10 Jesus answered her, “If you knew the gift of God and who it is that asks you for a drink, you would have asked him and he would have given you living water.” John 4:11 “Sir,” the woman said, “you have nothing to draw with and the well is deep. Where can you get this living water? John 4:12 Are you greater than our father Jacob, who gave us the well and drank from it himself, as did also his sons and his livestock?” John 4:13 Jesus answered, “Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, John 4:14 but whoever drinks the water I give them will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give them will become in them a spring of water welling up to eternal life.” John 4:15 The woman said to him, “Sir, give me this water so that I won’t get thirsty and have to keep coming here to draw water.” John 4:19 “Sir,” the woman said, “I can see that you are a prophet. John 4:20 Our ancestors worshiped on this mountain, but you Jews claim that the place where we must worship is in Jerusalem.” John 4:21 Jesus replied, “Believe me, dear woman, the time is coming when it will no longer matter whether you worship the Father on this mountain or in Jerusalem. John 4:22 You Samaritans know very little about the one you worship, while we Jews know all about him, for salvation comes through the Jews. John 4:23 Yet a time is coming and has now come when the true worshipers will worship the Father in the Spirit and in truth, for they are the kind of worshipers the Father seeks. John 4:24 For God is Spirit, so those who worship him must worship in spirit and in truth.” John 4:25 The woman said, “I know the Messiah is coming—the one who is called Christ. When he comes, he will explain everything to us.”

TANAKH (Jewish Publication Society, Hebrew-English): Page 1599: Proverbs 1:1 The proverbs of Solomon son of David, king of Israel: Proverbs 1:2 For learning wisdom and discipline; For understanding words of discernment; Proverbs 1:3 For acquiring the discipline for success, Righteousness, justice, and equity; Proverbs 1:4 For endowing the simple with shrewdness, The young with knowledge and foresight. Proverbs 1:5 --The wise man, hearing them, will gain more wisdom; The discerning man will learn to be adroit; Proverbs 1:6 For understanding proverb and epigram, The words of the wise and their riddles. Proverbs 1:7 The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge: Fools despise wisdom and discipline.

TANAKH (Jewish Publication Society, Hebrew-English): Pages 1454 and 1455: Psalm 37:1 Of David. Do not be vexed by evil men; do not be incensed by wrongdoers; Psalm 37:2 for they soon wither like grass, like verdure fade away. Psalm 37:3 Trust in the Lord and do good, abide in the land and remain loyal. Psalm 37:4 Seek the favor of the Lord, and He will grant you the desires of your heart. Psalm 37:5 Leave all to the Lord; trust in Him; He will do it. Psalm 37:6 He will cause your vindication to shine forth like the light, the justice of your case, like the noonday sun. Psalm 37:7 Be patient and wait fo rthe Lord, do not be vexed by the prospering man who carries out his schemes. Psalm 37:8 Give up anger, abandon fury, do not be vexed; it can only do harm. Psalm 37:9 For evil men will be cut off, but those who look to the Lord--they shall inherit the land. Psalm 37:10 A little longer and there will be no wicked man; you will look at where he was--he will be gone. Psalm 37:11 But the lowly shall inherit the land, and delight in abundant well-being. Psalm 37:12 The wicked man schemes against the righteous, and gnashes his teeth at him. Psalm 37:13 The Lord laughs at him, for He knows that his day will come.

TANAKH (Jewish Publication Society, Hebrew-English): Page 1437: Psalm 23:1 A psalm of David. The Lord is my shepherd; I lack nothing. Psalm 23:2 He makes me lie down in green pastures; He leads me to water in places of repose; Psalm 23:3 He renews my life; He guides me in right paths as befits His name. Psalm 23:4 Though I walk through a valley of deepest darkness, I fear no harm, for You are with me; Your rod and Your staff--they comfort me. Psalm 23:5 You spread a table for me in full view of my enemies; You anoint my head with oil; my drink is abundant. Psalm 23:6 Only goodness and steadfast love shall pursue me all the days of my life, and I shall dwell in the house of the Lord for many long years.

#august #hope #holy bible #tanakh #christianity #judaism #jesus christ #christian faith #earthquake #bible study #bible scripture #faith #love #messiah #this love #taylor swift #swifties #wisdom #knowledge #god #Youtube

[eliceislandent]

02-06-2023 A Day In The Life - Attempting To Get More Done In Our Busy Days.

6:45am: woke up. I sometimes have to force myself to stay in bed when I wake up at like 3am after five hours of sleep. I feel well rested and am tempted to do the whole “rise and grind” thing, however, these days I am more focused on trying to live consistent and balanced best practices. So more sleep. More than I think I need. Needless to say by 6:45, I was up and at ‘em. My son was in the bed and had decided to sleep horizontally so I to disentangle myself from his legs. I had feet in my face. Appropriately humbling, but not a reason to stay in bed any longer. Amazingly, he stayed asleep. Not so for Nic who was also waking up and about to start the day.

7-8: Made the kids lunch. Made the kids bed. Did some quick meditation/calming breaths with my oldest daughter, then packed them off to school.

8-830: No breakfast today. Fasting for Purim. Purim is itself a great story. And like many in the Jewish religion features a woman — Queen Esther — as the hero of the story. Bravely and shrewdly maneuvering her way around the King’s evil advisor, Haman (BOO!) who wants the King Achasueverus to kill all the Jews in the Persian empire.

That is until Queen Esther reveals to her husband, the King, at the exact right moment that she herself is a Jew. The tide is turned. Achasueverus orders the Jews not to be touched and instead that Haman and his fellow schemers to be killed for their proposed plot. We fast as Jews to commemorate the fact that before Queen Esther saved us, we were facing death at the ends of the most powerful force in the world at that time: The Persian Empire.

I love a good story.

I like when the underdogs win.

When the long shot prevails.

And I love a good twist.

The Purim story has it all.

Unfortunately, I don’t have breakfast to look forward to. SO as not to make my fast any harder, Nicole makes her own breakfast and by 9, after getting dressed, I was on the road with my son taking him to school.

9:30am: Successful school drop off. My son and I rock out Justin Bieber and the Jonas Bros. Then I head back home.

9:30: Writing. Wait, writing? Aren’t I in the car, driving? I am. So, what gives???

One of the things I am working on while writing the next book in “The Eddie Ankin series, “The Crew” is the use of dictation. I have long been interested in this and tried it a few times with the dragon software. But as a Mac user, (Dragon is a PC-based software, which I believe it still is) the process wasn’t seamless. It also required that I carry a digital recorder which I often forgot, or brought with me but never took out of my backpack.

However, despite these unsuccessful early attempts, I stayed interested in the sea of dictations.

The last year or two has seen major improvement in the built-n dictation abilities of Macs and PCs. There is no need for a secondary software or additional equipment. And the computer, or as is often the case, my cell phone, transcribe the words I am saying as I speak them. Every so often the microphone beeps off and the computer/cell phone stops transcribing, but it’s usually obvious and I just have to hit the microphone button to start recording again.

I’m not what you would call a “hack gut.” I mean that in the tech sense not the writer one (though hopefully you won’t think of me as a hack writer either”). In this case, I am referring to the idea of dividing methods that shortcut workflow, save time and maximize efficiency.

Dictation is something I’ve always understood practically as a tool that, if mastered, can help me to do more in less time.

I mean I can type pretty fast. But I cannot type as fast as I speak. With dictation I can get more words written in a single writing session. It’s not without mistakes but depending on the headset I’m using, the place where I’m recording (my office; the car), and my own diction, it is pretty darn good.

It’s not getting the words down faster that I appreciate about addiction dictation. It's also that I am a terrible slow editor. One of the part of my editing process is to read the book out loud and hear how it sounds, particularly the dialogue. By doing dictation I am getting a jump on this process. Sometimes a sentence sounds good in my head but does not sound so good when spoken allowed.

Plus, the more I do dictation the better the computer get at understanding me, and I get at not giving in to some of my bad habits as a writer. Most conveniently, I can dictate anywhere more or less. As long as I have my phone and some quiet. Whereas when I am typing I have to be at my desk or maybe the couch, because I am working off my laptop.

Today, in the car I was able to dictate the beginnings of a chapter. Nearly 800 words in 20 minutes. After a revision pass that’s likely to end up around 650-700 words. But still, 650 words in 20 minutes. That means I can get a chapter done in an hour. Maybe less. Unfortunately, I am not yet that practiced at doing dictation. So, I haven’t been enjoying the full fruits of my labor with it since I am still finding my way. It is strange how hearing a story spoken aloud makes it “read” different than when it is written on paper. Or read in a book.

It’s also worth keeping this in mind as I explore the ins and outs of turning my first novel, “The Strange Crimes of Beatrice Clover” into an audiobook.

On the dictation front, a shout out to Kevin J. Anderson who is probably the first author I ever heard talk about dictation as a way to write books and to Steve Higgs, who writes amazing cozy mysteries, who also sings the efficiency and time saving virtues of dictation. Also, Norman Lear, the iconic, prolific, and seemingly immortal television producer who created “All in the Family” who is also a practitioner of dictating his writing. In his memoir, “Even This I Get To Experience” he tells the story of how he used dictation to overcome a terrible case of writers block from which he was suffering. Now, I’m not nearly so proficient at it…yet. But, as the saying goes, practice makes perfect. When I get home I’ll edit what I “wrote” (dictated) in the car

10am: It’s the day before Purim so the morning prayers run a little longer this morning, but by

10:45 I am back at the writing, stopping to place a couple of work phone calls around noon to people waking up on the west coast.

12:30pm I take Nicole to a dentist appointment on my way to pick up my son. Some more dictation, but this time into “Eddie Ankin” Book One “The Double” for a chapter I am in the process of editing/revising. I don’t usually use dictation for revisions but in this case I know the few spots I wanted to make some changes. I also knew pretty clearly the way I wanted to change them. So, I dictated those changes on the way home.

1p: Grocery shopping. Tough when fasting. I live vicariously through my son who eats Oreos from the pack and drinks a juice pack. He tries the chicken nuggets from the deli counter, but isn’t a fan. My children are particular eaters.

1:40 Head home.

2: After getting my son situated I go back to work. I edit what I dictated early this morning, and I finish this post. In what feels like no time I am back in the car going to pick up my girls from their school. Normally, Nicole will do one or even both of the pick ups and drops off on days when she works from home, but today she had a bunch of appointments and meetings so I handled them today.

2:45 Nic gets home and I head out the doo to pickup the girls at school

3: Make snack for the kids while Nic does a work meeting.

3:30 Play with kids while breaking to bring this post current.

More to come….

(I am trying to be better about consistently updating these daily logs when I write them. The goal is Monday, Wednesday Friday, but life and work has thus far gotten in my way. I am recommitting myself and redoubling my efforts. I believe doing so is not only a useful record of where my times goes…But, also a record of a time in my life I hope to look back on someday and appreciate this part of the journey. Also, because I know how much I enjoyed and found it useful when others who are successful recorded their days and shared it with others. Hopefully, anyone following along finds this at least a little bit useful and entertaining.)

#work #writing a book #writing life #writing #writing tip #dictation #writer life #author life #author #books #work life balance #Hollywood #screenwriter #Norman Lear #Kevin J Anderson #Steve Higgs #day in the life #bts

[juiiahoffman]

November 16, 1938

Good morning everyone, I woke up an hour early before waking hours. I wanted to write a bit for everyone. So far, they've taken a few people's phones away. I hide mine behind a pillow but, I don't know how long it will take them to find it.

According to the signs outside, I'm at the Dachau Concentration Camp. They've separated females from males meaning I'm away from my father. I wonder how he's doing or if he's even here. I'll make it my goal to find Chrissy, except if she's dead. Despite everything that's happening, I must stay strong. It's extremely difficult but I'm all I've got.

At this Dachau Concentration Camp, were forced to wear these blue striped pajamas. They're old, dirty, and smell horrid. They've also gotten a little Star of David on the side.

The food here is barely anything. Stale bread and canned soup. Definitely going to give us food poisoning. Although, in all honesty, I'm so scared. I have no one with me and am trapped here. The regular prayers can be reassuring but don't fill the hole in my heart. I don't know exactly where I am and could possibly get killed. Who knows what they're going to do to me? I'm scared.

November 16, 1938 (Night time)

Hi everyone, I just wanted to update you before I go to sleep. The other Jews I share rooms with are wonderful. They're kind and sweet.

At the camp, the guards have us do dirty work. They have us clean, garden, you name it. The guards hit and spit at us as if we're animals for the smallest slip-ups. I hate this place so much. I wish I could go back to my old life. When everyone loved each other. When I lived with Chrissy, father, and Cleo. Can't forget Annie and Jess. All of this work for someone my age is just overwhelming. Shall I give up?

[renatedagmarmilada]

all body parts in turn..

stretching leg muscles and buttock muscles these last months...

’’testing now for dementia’‘

during the night, last night they pressed my brain with laser beam  (VERY PAINFUL) FOR HOURS – not the cranium as they have been doing…. the brain (you can feel) They kill us with these endless torture ’’tests,’’ these wonderful brits..pure sadism for the sake of it….using nine Muslims to do their dirty work for them, killing us slowly, healthy, clever and talented people. (I am a teacher, painter and poet) Their excuse,’we were messing with them illegally, we would have got jail.’ The three ‘doctors’ are jews. In Hitler’s time, in Bratislava, we gave life to the jews..we lost everything for helping them, saved them from what they are doing to us…their answer ‘that was then.’ SO WE DIE FOR ALL WE DID FOR THEM. They wonder why they are hated. The lab was asked time and again, ‘why don’t you do the tests normally?’- answer ‘no one would allow it.’ We are lab-rats for life, we have no Rights at all.

quote from the boss

’’I will use every hair of them. Hitler will be as nothing to what I will do. Destroy every avenue for life.’‘

We have never done anything wrong to the brits or anywhere else..As I was born after the war, I even asked Wiesenthal/Vienna to prove what I said was true. He did. After three months of searching… ‘Not known in any country.’ I still have the letter. They still, after ten years, give the same file of lies to everyone, yet their country is filled with people who despise them, people they ‘allowed’ to enter the country. They BROUGHT us, paid for our transport and begged us to settle here, POACHING our labour from Australia…TO BE USED FOR TORTURE FOR THEIR MAD HOSPITALS JUST AS HITLER DID. (all unwanted aliens were sent to mental hospitals) This little known, but not new technology was given to this rogue-lab which has had previous warnings, by Kaspar Weinberger and Kissinger to use on us because we are ‘scum’ (quote) The lab had begged for help to get them out of trouble breaking international law, (she films penises!) after secretly beaming our lives to New York h.research and setting off the alarms at SANTA MONICA. N.Y. searched for the worst devil in the Sates, found in L.A…also a Jew who gave them a plan, to which they added, how to kill slowly and not be caught, tested in the States and sixty million for tests in Britain as it is all forbidden there. They were to put a porn film through all the world’s receivers, tv etc. with my head supplanted, make up a file, etc… another Jew, Ziegler, instructed them to publish every word I wrote and had written, painted..as they destroyed our lives totally…as the lab wives had been copying it from the screen and publishing it as their own. I am almost laughing into my tears, my grandfather woke each morning knowing it might be his and his family’s last day, for helping jews…. so these jewish stories are really Hun’s and Uky’s. OURS…well, well, well. They had gotten our names from a doctor who had said ‘odd’ things to me (a lecher) I was suffering from headaches so I would not go to the surgery anymore (I loved my ex. he loved us but couldn’t resist the ladies) We were so vulnerable they decided they could use us as they wished, no one would care, and most wouldn’t even understand. I had been in the Women’s J unior Air Corps and my mother had been interpreter to the (russian) von Braun. I did understand about sound above hearing, radar and co-ordinates. If I go teach abroad as I did in China, they tell the research (Hong Kong) of that country we are patients, pay them ten million and one of the lab follows me there and lets them use their stuff there,(phase out) they even follow me when I go on holiday! They even asked a Church of England priest to watch their film at the lab. I am a catholic, so its get the catholics now. Now there is no Soviet left, there is nowhere to run, anyway, why should we run? Our Law Lord, along with most other lords, is jewish. We wouldn’t stand a chance against three corrupt lecherous psychiatrists and their wives, the lab workers. They no longer need allies they tell us. All has been forgotten. To ensure that ‘it’ was so big they would be safe, they invited and paid research students to the lab to use us for torture not permitted anywhere else in the world. Only the Russian woman immediately twigged and got out, then later the South African left, (oddly Mongolia, Japan and little Palestine twigged on too) shocked at the corruption in THIS country. The Germans played along with the Brits, equally brutally, robbing and torturing…and some of the others, Austria, Hungary, Ukraine, Pakistan, India, Serbia, Iraq, etc all on their machine now, were too slow to understand what was really going on. At present they are pressing my heart again, the squeezing as well as being painful, makes the action sluggish, so it will just pack up soon. Try telling your doctor that.. When they are told to correct what they have done, thousands and thousands in thefts, jobs destroyed, internal organs destroyed, their answer over tv etc is ’’sorry.’‘ The Pakistanis laugh at us, they wouldn’t dare do that to us…so much for being decent citizens.

[itsyourchoicedevotionals]

What Is And Isn’t Allowed

“His parents said this because they were afraid of the Jews; for the Jews had already agreed that if anyone confessed Him to be Christ, he was to be put out of the synagogue.” John 9:22NASB

Have you ever thought, ‘I could never have been like them, denying Jesus, even by association?’ Perhaps I’m the only one to ever think in this manner. Surely, I would’ve stood up and screamed, Have you ever thought, ‘I could never have been like them, denying Jesus, even by association?’ ‘He is the Christ! Why don’t you understand?

Much like in Jesus’ day, we’re into ‘cancel culture,’ if you don’t bow down and kiss all of their ideas. Back when the ‘politically correct’ thing started I didn’t think it would get worse. Then they started the ‘spiritually correct’ way of cutting Jesus out of life. We’ve now got the ‘socially correct’ WOKE culture. Anyone says the wrong thing, voices a wrong concept— media fingers point ‘Shame on you, you’re intolerant.’ Hollywood media, the LBGQT machine busy trying to add P for pedophiles dictate what is and isn’t allowed. Trying to rewrite our history. Many churches have succumbed to liberal machinery as well. Youth raised by the television, video games, and Big Brother training in school gullibly believe everything being crammed down their throats.

Jesus didn’t kneel no bow before any of the religiously correct bunch. Rather, Jesus completed the Law with His love causing the religious people to hate Him. He pronounced eight woes on the Pharisees, beginning with Matthew 23:13NASB “But woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites, because you shut off the kingdom of heaven from people; for you do not enter in yourselves, nor do you allow those who are entering to go in.” and continuing on through v33 “You serpents, you brood of vipers, how will you escape the sentence of hell?” Their disdain intensified because He told them Truth. Of all the people, Jesus held religious leaders,[equal to ‘pastors’ of today’s churches], responsible for letting go of the Truth. Nor did Jesus cave into the political agenda of the day. He saw everyone as sinners in need of a Savior. Tax collectors were the most reviled people of all the Israelites— considered politicians of Bible days. Zacchaeus was a tax collector. Instead of berating him for stealing from people, Jesus met his need and said, “Zacchaeus!”…“Quick, come down! I must be a guest in your home today,” Luke 19:5 NLT. Confession and restitution poured from Zacchaeus.

Rather than our being; “…the salt of the earth…” many have become flavorless salt in trying to appease the various liberal ideologies of this era. “…what good is salt if it has lost its flavor? Can you make it salty again? It will be thrown out and trampled underfoot as worthless,” Matthew 5:13NLT.

Mega churches abound. Most too often are non-confrontational, abounding in feel-good music, sermons made up of pats on the back. No repentance, restitution, or forgiveness required. More than one has succumbed to the Hollywood glamor for promotion and numbers.

Politicians, church people, movie stars, musicians and singers— let us not forget sports players, none of these are evil in and of themselves. When liberal-bunk steps in, Christ got pushed out. Man’s ideas of correctness, woke, cancel culture all comes from the father of lies, see John 8:44. We’re back to living like the Jews who had to hide how they felt or be run out of society. I’m staying on the side of truth. I intend to be confrontational, even if it costs me freedom or life. This devotional wasn't written to please you, but God, who wakes me in the night with messages burning His heart for the people to read. Are you listening? It’s your choice. You choose.

LET’S PRAY: Father God, I pray people will not succumb to the lies of this liberal bunk and correctness. Send us a mighty revival please Lord. May people’s hearts yearn for You and for Truth, in the name of Jesus Christ I pray.

by Debbie Veilleux Copyright 2022 You have my permission to reblog this devotional for others. Please keep my name with this devotional, as author. Thank you.

#Jesus Christ #lord of lords #Lamb of God #Holy Spirit #God #it's your choice #devotional #what's allowed #pushed #non-confrontational #liberal #evil #love #hope #faith

[nevermindirah]

Do you have any thoughts on the use of AAVE for Nile (or lack thereof) in TOG fanfiction? I've been reading some Book of Nile fic and some writers seem to write her as a Millennial™ (using words like "fave" and "woke") but never acknowledge her Blackness in her patterns of speech. I know we don't see her use as much AAVE in the films, but I would argue she's in situations where code-switching would be valued (first in a "professional" environment in the army, then around a group of non-Black strangers).

Hi anon! I have many thoughts on this and I'm honored you asked me! But I should start by saying I'm white and any thoughts Black fans and especially Black American fans have on this that they want to share would be beyond lovely. (I'm not gonna tag anybody bc that feels rude but please add onto this post if any of y'all see this and want to!)

The main reason I personally avoid AAVE for Nile in my own fics is because I'm not Black. But Nile-centric fics by Black writers tend to avoid using much of it too, at least from what I've noticed/understood, and my guess is it's largely for the reason you mention, that she's in situations that encourage code-switching.

In movie canon Nile is highly competent at tailoring her language to each situation she finds herself in. This fantastic linguistics analysis meta shows how skillfully Nile chooses her vocabulary and grammar to meet her goals with different conversation partners in different contexts. In comics canon Nile had a bunch of different civilian jobs before joining the Marines, so she would've had experience code-switching in the ways that made sense for all those different contexts as well as the Marines and her family and high school and wherever else she spent her time before we met her. And now she's spending her time with a handful of immortals none of whom are native English speakers and a fellow Black American but one with a Queen's English UK accent whose professional experience is in the CIA where high-status code-switching is often an absolute must for success or even survival.

Fics featuring Nile are charged with extrapolating from that to how it might show up in her use of language that she's coping with a traumatic separation from her family and her career and pretty much everything she's ever known and now she needs to be able to make herself understood to people who seem to care about her and each other but are super duper in crisis, three (soon to be four) of whom predate Modern English entirely and the only one who's anywhere near her contemporary she's not supposed to talk to for a century. All of these people are telling her that pretty much any contact with any mortals poses an existential threat to her and the rest of the group. How the FUCK is she supposed to cope with that, like, generally? And would it be a more effective way for her to cope if she talked to Andy Joe and Nicky using the speech patterns that she used to use with her mom and brother, to at least retain that part of her identity even if it means having to do a lot of explaining, or would it meet her needs better to prioritize Andy Joe and Nicky understanding what she means with her words over using the particular words and grammar forms she used with her family?

I've seen several fics, both Nile-centric / BoN and otherwise, explore this a little bit in how/whether Nile uses Millennial™ speak. It's often a theme in Nile texting Booker despite the exile because of the popular headcanon that he as The Tech Guy is the only other immortal who understands memes. But Nile's much-younger-than-Booker mom probably uses Boomer and/or Gen X memes and Andy has been adapting to new communication styles for forever as evidenced by her canon high level of fluency with standard-American-accented English.

Which brings us back to people avoiding AAVE because they're not Black and they don't want to make mistakes (or they're not Black and they don't want to get yelled at for making mistakes, though I think many people overestimate how much they'll get yelled at while underestimating how much these mistakes can hurt). I can imagine some Black fans hold back from using much AAVE in fic because they don't want to share in-group stuff with white people who are likely to then adopt and ruin it, as white people so often do with Black cultural stuff. Some links about this including a great Khadija Mbowe video. I'm saying this gently, anon, because you might not know: woke, an example you cited as Millennial™ speak, is AAVE, and that's gotten erased by so many white people appropriating it and using it incorrectly online.

And also there's the part where fandom is a hobby and you never know when you're reading a fic that's the very first thing someone's ever written outside of a school assignment. This cultural considerations of language shit takes a level of effort and skill that not everybody puts into every fic, or even could if they wanted to because they haven't had time to build their skills yet. It's definitely easier for non-Black fans to project our millennial feels onto Nile than to do the layers of research and self-reflection it requires to depict what Blackness might mean to Nile, and it's not surprising that often people sharing their hobby creations on the internet have gone the easier route. There's not even necessarily shame in doing what's easier. It's just frustrating and often hurtful when structural white supremacy means that 3-dimensional Black characters are rare in media and thoughtful explorations of them in fandom are seen by the majority of fans as not-easy to make and therefore Nile Freeman, the main character in The Old Guard (2020) dir. Gina Prince-Bythewood, has the least fic and meta and art made about her of our 5 main immortals.

I've been active in different fandoms off and on for twenty years and I barely managed to write 5,000 words about Sam Wilson across multiple different fics in the 7 years since I fell in love with him. There's an alchemy to which characters we connect with, and on top of that which characters we connect with in a way that causes us to create stuff about them. Something about Nile Freeman finally tipped me over the edge from a voracious reader to a voracious writer. It's not for me to judge which characters speak to other individuals to the level of creating content about them, but I do think it's important for us to notice, and then work to fight, the pattern where across this fandom as a whole Nile gets way less content, and way less depth in so much of the content that's in theory about her, than any of these other characters.

Anyway, back to language. My two long fics feature Nile with several Black friends — Copley and OCs and cameos from other media — but all of those characters except Alec Hardison from Leverage aren't American. It's very possible I'm guilty of stereotyping Black British speech patterns in I See Your Eyes Seek a Distant Shore. I watched hours and hours of Black haircare YouTube videos in the research for that fic and I modeled my OCs' speech patterns on what I heard from some of those YouTubers as well as what I've heard people like John Boyega and Idris Elba saying in interviews, but the thing about doing your best is you still might fuck up.

I'm slowly making progress on my WIP where Nile and Sam Wilson are cousins, and what ways of talking with a family member might be authentic for Nile is a major question I need to figure out. For that, I'm largely modeling my writing choices on how I hear my Black friends and colleagues talking to each other. I haven't overheard colleagues talking in an office in a long-ass time, but back when that was a thing, I remember seeing a ton of nuance in the different ways many of my Black colleagues would talk to each other. Different people have different personalities! And backgrounds! And priorities! A few jobs ago my department was about 1/3 Black and we worked closely with Obama administration staff many of whom were Black and there was SO MUCH VARIETY in how Black people talked to each other, about work and workplace-appropriate personal stuff, where I and other white coworkers could hear. There are a few work friends in particular who I have in my head when I'm trying to imagine how Sam and Nile might talk to each other. From the outside looking in, God DAMN is shit complicated, intellectually and interpersonally and spiritually, for Black people who are devoting their professional lives to public service in the United States.

One more aspect of this that I have big thoughts on but I need to take extra care in talking about is the idea of acknowledging Nile's Blackness in her patterns of speech. There's no one right way to be Black, and Nile's a fictional character created by a white dude but there are plenty of real-life Black Americans who don't use much or even any AAVE, for reasons that are complicated because of white supremacy. (Highly highly recommend this video by Shanspeare on the harms of the Oreo stereotype.)

Something that's not the same but has enough similarity that I think it's worth talking about is my personal experience with authenticity and American Jewish speech patterns. My Jewish family members don't talk like they're in The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, and I've known lots of people who do talk that way (or the millennial version of it), some of whom have questioned my Jewishness because I don't talk that way. That hurts me. Sometimes when another Jew tells me some shit like "I've never heard a Jew say y'all'd've," I can respond with "well now you have asshole, bless your Yankee-ass heart," because the myth of Dixie is a racist lie but I will totally call white Northerners Yankees when they're being shitty to me for being Southern, and this particular Jew fucking revels in using "bless your heart" with maximum polite aggression, especially with said Yankees. But sometimes I don't have it in me to say anything and it just quietly hurts having an important part of me disbelieved by someone who shares that important part of me. The sting isn't quite the same when non-Jews disbelieve or discount my Jewishness, but that hurts too.

Who counts as authentically Jewish is a messy in-group conversation and it doesn't really make sense to explain it all here. Who counts as authentically Jewish is a matter of legal status for immigration, citizenship, and civil rights in Israel, and it's my number 2 reason after horrific treatment of Palestinians that I'm antizionist. But outside that extremely high-stakes legal situation, it can just feel really shitty to not be recognized as One Of Us, especially by your own people.

It can also feel really shitty to be The Only One of Your Kind in a group, even if that group is an immortal chosen family who all loves each other dearly. Sometimes especially in a situation like that where you know those people love you but there are certain things they don't get about you and will never quite be able to. I'm definitely projecting at least a little bit of my "lonely Jew who will be alone again for yet another Jewish holiday" stuff onto Nile when at the end of I See Your Eyes Seek a Distant Shore she's thinking about being the only Black immortal and moving away from the community she'd built with a mostly-Black group of mortals in that fic. Maybe that tracks, or maybe that's fucked up of me.

Basically, this got very long but it's complicated, writing about experiences that aren't your own takes skill which in turn takes time and practice to build, writing about experiences not your own that our society maligns can cause a lot of harm if done badly, it can also cause a lot of harm when a large enough portion of a fandom just decides to nope out of something that's difficult and risky because then there's just not much content about a character who deserves just a shit ton of loving and nuanced content, people are individuals and two people who come from the exact same cultural context might show that influence in all kinds of different ways, identity is complicated, language is complicated, writing is hard, and empathy and humility and doing our best aren't a guarantee of avoiding harm but they do go a long way in helping people create thoughtful content about a character as awesome and powerful and kind and messy and scared and curious and WORTHY as Nile Freeman.

#nile freeman #linguistics #TOG POC Love Fest #nileweek2021 #tog meta #tog #long post #mine #antiblackness #jewish things #hi i'm an antizionist jew no i don't really want to talk about it