#you know. i used to never see negative posts or discourse or anything. now it seems like that's all that's ever on here. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

monstersinthecosmos · 3 months

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I know you probably don’t want to dwell on the show and the negative but I absolutely hate what has happened on here and how hateful people are in the VC fandom it’s just very demoralizing and makes me want to retreat from anything besides the books completely. The discourse was spicy before the show but everything is just even more divisive now and it has sucked the fun out of it. Not really an ask more of a vent sorry

Hi there!

You’re correct that I don’t particularly find it fun to dwell on the negative stuff – as you said yourself, SOMETIMES THE DISCOURSE SUCKS THE FUN OUT OF IT. But I do understand how you feel and I want to say a couple things and I hope this helps you find a groove.

First of all, I did my best not to acknowledge it too much because I didn’t want to validate the folks who were being cunts to me lol, but please know that this fandom (at least on Tumblr) has ALWAYS been kinda fucking violent towards me LOL. I started VC tumbling back in 2016 and it’s ALWAYS been a fucking trash fire. It is hard out there for Marius stans lmfao.

Like, when I was first posting on Tumblr and acclimating to the Tumblr culture it was so much of like, me feeling brave enough to share meta only for someone to be RB’ing me to tell me I’m wrong, or me talking about how much I liked something about Marius only for someone to vague me, or it was me hosting the huge fandom Discord back in 2017 only for people to then come on tumblr and complain about how the Discord was way too Marius Friendly as if like, a drama-free space where we can discuss the books makes it a harbor for predators.

Of course I also had the gaggle of fucking morons who were constantly stalking me, catfishing their way into my servers to try to take screenshots and write call outs and cancel me, who would not stop preaching about how “all these big blogs” are “actually such terrible people” because “look at the things they ship” even when I’d never been unkind to them, even occasionally donated to their GFMs. These are folks who think they’re morally in the right for protecting the virtue of Armand’s poor teenage asshole and executed this justice by stalking and harassing an ACTUAL PERSON LOL. Like, listen. I’m sorry to burst ur bubble, but Armand doesn’t exist. He’s letters on a paper. I’m actually a real person and you’re up my fucking ass because I don’t’ even fucking know why, you’re jealous of my fucking Tumblr engagement or something? Which one of us is actually the creep here lol?? Is this a race to the bottom to be the valedictorian of clown school on the website for homeschooled clowns?

I’ve also had the pleasure of being on the receiving end of acephobic discourse, being told I don’t do enough to protect every individual in fandom from their own bullies as if it's my job to do that, being called ableist for how I wrote Daniel in my fics even though I was projecting and discussing my own personal experiences – I’ve also had a project collaborator have a tantrum and try to steal my work until I had to threaten with legal action, I’ve been put on block lists, I’ve had many people consume my fics in secret without actually leaving comments because I’m too toxic for them to communicate with in public.

BLAH BLAH BLAH.

This was all before AMC showed up LMFAO. It was not easy for me! It’s still not always easy!

And so yeah like, by nature of the fandom EXPLODING we are going to see more drama. More people is more drama. The nature of the discourse often hedges into real life issues that people are very opinionated and passionate about and there are conflicting needs inside the same space about how to hold conversations. Even just the other day I RB’d a joke about Anne Rice and OP got upset with me because they didn’t want actual fans interacting with it. Whoops! I didn’t know! I just thought it was funny. ;.;

Even in good faith and with the best of intentions we’re going to step on each other’s toes, and we’re gonna find people we don’t vibe with. And that’s normal and it’s fine.

What ISN’T normal is this inability to disengage that I think we see often in online space, and I don’t want to get into a whole side essay about all the reasons why I think that happens. But sometimes you gotta be the bigger person and take it on the chin.

Like, yeah, it sucks. It sucks the fun out of the room when you share a space with such bitter people who can’t be kind to each other. But like. THAT’S A THEM PROBLEM, YOU KNOW? And I think we gotta remember that sometimes people like that do it for the attention or the spike of dopamine when they can pick a fight and honestly like, you don’t need to waste YOUR OWN time on it, but you’re also doing that person a kindness if you don’t enable the bad behavior.

And it sucks that Tumblr’s mute tools are awful!!!!! It would make navigating so much easier to be able to curate the dash a little better and keep the bad actors out of your space. I sometimes just fuck off and don’t even come online for days if I know I’m not in a good headspace and won’t have the strength to just fucking ignore it, because sometimes drama catches my eye and I get nosy and go down the rabbit hole, too – having ADHD makes it really hard to avoid sometimes LOL – but like I try to be reasonable and love myself enough to avoid it when I can help it. I’m not willing to make my own problems everyone else’s problem, and I hope that some of these shit starters in fandom will get there, themselves.

So yeah it blows when the vibes are fucking atrocious, and it REALLY blows when it’s a fandom this small where you can’t avoid it. Even when it’s a vocal minority it really just kills the fucking mood.

BUT WHAT I WILL SAY.

Whenever I say shit like “write what you want to read” and we’re talking about fanfic, or even meta or even silly headcanon posts or jokes, that also means draw what you want to see, it also means make what you want to hold, apply it to any creation you can think of. Put the thing you want to see into the world. And it counts for fandom, too.

I don’t want to be part of a fandom that’s constantly infighting and attacking people, so I don’t fight and attack people. I don’t want to be called a predator for being a Marius fan and so I don’t engage in posts that say as much, not even to argue, because I don’t want my followers (who might also be Marius fans!) to have to see that on their dash. I want us to protect our peace and create a space we want to be in.

Like I have a policy that any time someone says I’m a freak or any time I see truly godawful word salad discourse, I go out of my way to post something kinky and offputting about Marius LMFAOOOO because I want to be surrounded by reasonable fun people who share my sensibility for fiction. AND SOMETIMES IT’S CRICKETS, AND SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO WORK HARD TO FIND YOUR PEOPLE. But at the end of the day I know I’m being my most sincere self and I’m trying to have a good time and just post fun things that I enjoy. And like, the book fandom is small as fuck and we’re all famished, but I think if more of us did that, we’d build a much more productive and tolerant space.

And for all the shit I’ve mentioned, all the drama and attacks and all the times people have harassed me or tried to make me feel small, you know what? I just got back from @apoptoses & @cup-of-lixx 's wedding and they met in VCblr! We spent all week with our VCblr friends! We all went to New Orleans together last Halloween !

When I used to work on ships it was like a fandom friend world tour! I had so many coffees in port with my vampire friends!

I’ve learned so much about writing from all the time I’ve spent here and the community of writer friends who supported me! There’s folks I met on VCblr that I talk to LITERALLY every day! They are such huge parts of my life and genuine life-long friends!!!!!!

Sometimes it seems like the ROI is garbage but like, so much of finding the joy is also learning to protect yourself from the negativity.

It IS out there. It DOES suck. And it’s lonely when you haven’t found your people yet. But fandom doesn’t have to be the 500 angry assholes arguing with each other about a fucking TV show, it can be your 3 besties in a private group chat having a great time.

Like I just drove @hekateinhell to the airport (met THROUGH TUMBLR!) and on the way back I was listening to an episode of Last Day and they were discussing the concept that “community is a life raft” and it hit me so hard man!!!!!!!!!!!

Find your people! Block the shit starters! Mute discourse buzzwords that you know are going to upset you!

Keep! Posting! What! You! Want! To! See!!

Fandom is self-generating, we can do this!

My inbox is always open and BELIEVE ME I have been motherfucking persona non grata in this place before and I know how rancid the vibe can be so please come talk any time it's grinding you down, I got you!!!!!!!!!!!!

#fandom lolitics #also some more thoughts in the tags lol but #this also means LEAVE COMMENTS #not just on fics but like on art on HC posts on whatever #talk to people!#support each other!!!

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aelinfireheartgalathynius · 8 days

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The discourse about Sarah J Maas being called a Zionist is giving witch hunt vibes at this point. Nothing I've seen has been conclusive at all. Just because she's a Jewish woman who went on birthright doesn't mean you should loudly denounce her as supporting genocide.

I am a Jewish woman who is pro-Palestine — so, not a Zionist — but who loves her Jewish diaspora culture. I have anti-zionist and non-zionist Jewish friends who went on Birthright because it's a free trip abroad. I know Jewish people who are staunch Israel supporters and I have Jewish friends going to pro-Palestine protests. Jews are not all one thing, and in fact it's ingrained in our culture that we have NEVER been one thing. There are Jews of all races, of all levels of religious belief, across the political and socioeconomic spectrum, scattered across the world.

If I were a semi-public figure (I say semi because Sarah has been clear that she is not the one posting on her public accounts and she doesn't have much interaction with fans outside of tours) people would probably have loud assumptions about me being a Zionist because I am publicly Jewish, I was a Jewish Studies minor in college, and I used to work at a synagogue. Guess what? I'm not a Zionist. I donate to UNWRA monthly, I do my clicks for Palestine, and I do my best to support with what I have. As a multi-disabled person that's all I can handle right now. If I were a semi-public figure I don't know if I would feel comfortable posting anything publicly either, because people are vicious and terrifying creatures. Sarah has a husband and child. She had gotten threats about fucking ship wars. This is so much more intense than ship wars.

Making these loud assumptions and calling for boycotting SJM, commenting on her social posts even though she isn't the one reading those comments — this is what antisemitism looks like. I know those of you who are angry at Sarah won't want to hear that, or will say that 'everything is antisemitic now' — which is a refrain that should raise red flags since it's the same argument other people use about transphobia, homophobia, racism, etc. You're the good guys, you support Palestine and you're anti-genocide and so on. But using stereotypes about an ethnic group to make assumptions and harass an individual of that ethnic group is not a good look even if you're convinced you're doing it for a good reason. Take that energy and put it toward spreading awareness, contacting politicians, attending protests, maybe even sharing messages from public figures who have posted publicly.

I understand that a lot of non-Jews (and a small number of Jews) are saying that it "has nothing to do" with Sarah being Jewish, it's just that she hasn't "used her platform." I implore you to consider why you are seeing and sharing such anger toward this one (fairly private) Jewish woman and not toward other prominent authors, especially those who are more active online, who have also not spoken out. Do some soul-searching and many of you may find that because Sarah is Jewish, you feel that she owes you a public stance more than other people. Because she is Jewish you feel confident enough to make an assumption about her views and post publicly about these assumptions. That is antisemitism at work. That is why this feels like a witch hunt to me, and why it is upsetting to watch.

As a reminder, I am pro-Palestine. I am not posting this to defend anyone. I am posting this to remind everyone that Jews are not all Zionists. Jews are not all one thing, ever. And deciding you get to hand down judgement on a Jewish person who has not shared their views publicly is antisemitism. It is deciding that you can assume negative things about Jewish people from afar. It is deciding that some antisemitism is actually okay — good, even, if you think it's warranted. I understand that people have other qualms with her writing, but those are not tied to her Jewishness, they're tied to her doing things like using the name Illyria and Illyrians for her ACOTAR series, etc, which is the kind of thing other fantasy authors have done over the years. Doesn't make it good or right but it certainly doesn't have anything to do with Palestine or Zionism.

If you disagree with me, please do not send hatred into my inbox. I am asking you to interact with this post thoughtfully. If your disagreement is going to be an explanation of how Jewish people owe the world every ounce of our energy, health, safety and lives, please step away and take a breath. I do not share your opinion. I have great admiration for those risking life and limb, risking jobs, risking arrest, to support Palestine. However, not everyone should be *required* to do all of those things, especially if you're disproportionately expecting those larger actions from Jews, thinking we "owe" it to the world.

Also, I want to be clear: This is not really about whether Sarah is a Zionist. It's about the fact that we don't know, and you cannot pretend to know. Most of the arguments I'm seeing are making a lot of assumptions, and that is the part that makes me uncomfortable.

If Sarah ends up being a Zionist, I still stand by this post, because it isn't about defending Sarah, it's about my hurt and disappointment in seeing people make assumptions rooted in antisemitism, assuming someone's views based on Jewishness and little else.

#“but her grandma was in the idf!” okay do you agree with everything your grandparents do because i definitely dont #“but she's been to Israel!” ok is everyone who's ever been to Russia anti-Ukraine?#“but she writes characters and places inspired by Jewish history / the Torah!” once again guys Judaism is not Zionism pls say it with me #“but she should be using her platform and if she isnt then she clearly is a zionist!” please read this post #“but she's done shitty things in her books so her track record is bad!” um people are allowed to have varying flaws #this is not an all or nothing thing she can do questionable things with her writing as a white woman and that doesnt mean she is a zionist?#please don't send hate to my inbox because of this post im so tired

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teyamsatan · 10 months

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Hi x i wanted to talk about something that has happened to me recently, because i feel like it needs to be addressed lol. I would have never considered talking about it if the person in question had had an ounce of maturity and respect, but she obviously doesn’t, and it’s my reputation on the line and my fault for expecting it hahahah.

So a few days ago, the whole Jake is Jacob debacle happened on tumblr, which to me was cute and harmless and fun. Now some people really feel the need to bring other people down and prove (to themselves only, let’s be honest) how “superior” and “intelligent” they are, so she started making fun and basically insulting the OP of the post, which really upset me. I didn’t say anything about it and quietly unfollowed the person, because if i find content I disagree with, that is (to me) the only way to approach the situation.

Anyway, later, i was made aware that she continued trash talking people in the fandom, continuing this tired narrative that despite being the one to initiate it, she was the “victim” bullied by “kids”, which i resented, for a couple of reasons.

1. Ageism is ageism no matter the form it comes in. It is no different to shit on a person just for being young and minding their business, than it is to do so with people who are older.

2. I’m tired of the “i was here first and therefore i am inherently better than you” stupid narrative. You don’t get a cookie cause you found something sooner, pls PLEASE understand that.

3. The “everyone is so young” bs is simply not true. I am the same age as her, so are some of my mooties or just a couple years older, and we’re all here, and we’re all trying to have a good time, and that’s what matters. None of us are out here flaunting our age or our maturity, because it is inconsequential.

4. Saying to someone that their “pre-frontal cortex” isn’t fully developed, is fucking ridiculous. What a stupid argument. You’re really going to insult someone for something they have reasonably absolutely no control over and try to use it as an insult against them? Girlie, in 2023? Do you understand how stupid that is? You think you’re superior cause your mum pushed you out a few years earlier like you had anything to do with it??? Like idk that is wild to me.

5. You can’t insult people on here for “being young and dumb” and how much “better” and “more mature” you are, and then in the same breath pick a fight with them and be willing to die on that hill. Because if you have any sort of common sense, that would imply that you must be succumbing to their levels and you are not capable of having any higher level discourse. Like how do you not see that that you're just proving to everyone how immature you truly are?

So, i wrote her an ask. Not on anon, not trying to start anything, just an ask telling her my opinion and telling her that as someone who is the same age as her, her behaviour is disappointing.

Now i need you to see the message because she won’t show it to you, because she wants to build this narrative that people are “harassing” her. Please note that nobody is “harassing” her. If i wanted to harass her, I could and I would not do it with my username intact. I wanted to her to understand the opinion (that i share with my friends and mooties) of someone who’s the same age as her. She won’t answer it because she knows there is no way to spin this in her favour.

Instead, what she can do, is what she does best. Trying to spin this negatively, insulting me and my writing (you’re 26 and the best you could come up with is “god awful cringey ass fics”? ouch, that hurt.) and tagging it “neteyam imagine” cause what person who wants to read neteyam fics doesn’t want to see that. Now again, she is blocked for me because I absolutely do not want to engage with people like her, but i was made aware of this and since she’s talking about me and could potentially come to people’s inboxes or dms and talking trash about me, i wanted you besties to know and to read everything and make your own minds about it, having all the information, not just what she deems appropriate to give you.

Anyway, sorry for this long ass rant, but it needed to be said. Please, if you don’t agree with someone, especially if it’s over something so incredibly trivial as a name, let it go. It’s not worth it. If it’s something not trivial, block. It’s not worth it. Insulting someone for things they have no control over doesn’t put you on top, it makes you a dick. Acting like you’re inherently better cause you’ve been in a fandom longer isn’t cool, trust me. Just please, save your energy and put it in your art, in your job, in your relationships, in yourself.

Now, i will go write my cringey ass fics 😉 good luck besties, and smooches.

ALSO!!! DO NOT engage with this person. PLEASE. Please do not prove her right. Please do not leave her anon hate or anything of the sort, please please please. It’s not worth it.

#xoxos #should i tag this neteyam imagines too????#ೃ⁀➷ andra rambles #ೄྀ࿐ andra’s personal stuff ˊˎ

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grilledcheeseandguavajelly · 10 months

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I have been seeing a lot of discourse on certain tags lately about fanfiction and writing fics that are “out of character”. And I don’t like conflict, so I was keeping my nose out. But now I’ve seen some things that I just can’t let go, and as the self-proclaimed fandom mom, I feel like I need to step in and state this loud and clear—

Fandom is for you.

The whole point of fanfic and fanart and cosplay and anything fan related is for you, the fan, to take a work that has already been created and have fun with it. Make it your own. Dive in and explore and do what you will. Fandom is meant to be a creative outlet where you can share ideas and art with other people who have the same interests as you.

THAT BEING SAID: it is never. And I repeat, NEVER okay to gatekeep fandom. And yeah, I fucking hate the word gatekeep. But it’s the only way to describe what I’m seeing happening. And so I’m going to use it again—

It is never okay to gatekeep fandom. It is never okay to gatekeep characters. And to throw negativity at anyone’s work, let alone come straight out and tell them that they’re wrong for shaping a character a certain way— I’m sorry, but where do you get off? I am completely understanding of wanting characters to stay true to the source material. I am completely understanding of having your own opinions about/expectations for a character and wanting them to behave a certain way. But YOU, my dear friend (or rather, we), are not the creator of those characters. Which means that we have no right to tell someone else what they can or cannot do with them.

The whole point of fandom is to let your imagination run wild. And if that means that a typically good character leans more evil in a fic, fine. If they make decisions you don’t agree with, great. If they do things that directly contradict what would have happened in the source material, even better!!

LET. PEOPLE. CREATE.

Let them throw characters into crazy situations and analyze how they react. Let them stretch them out like putty and poke at all of the soft bits inside. Let them shape them into something completely other just to see what happens. Let them be curious. Let them explore. Let them have fun.

Fandom should be fun.

And the second one person starts dictating what is right or wrong for a character or a ship, that’s the second it stops being fun. And that’s when fandoms die.

Don’t gatekeep something that doesn’t belong to you. Because again— It doesn’t belong to you.

You are allowed to have your own opinions. You are allowed to have your own expectations for characters. But who do you think you are, to flat out tell someone (or a group of people) that the way they write someone is wrong? That the way they have imagined something is wrong? That their creativity, their expression, their joy, is wrong? Or, as I’ve seen more recently, when someone gets dejected by the posts you’ve made telling them they’re creating wrong, you have the audacity to tell them “that’s okay, now that you know you did something I don’t like, you can reevaluate your work and try to improve!”

How dare you.

Because once again, I hate to break it to you, but you’re not the creator of these characters. And I’m going to go out on a limb and say that the actual creator is probably just so happy to see the diversity of idea that has sprung from their creation. So who do you think you are, to dictate an entire fandom?

If you don’t like it, move along. Click out of the fic, find something else to read. I understand having frustrations when things don’t go as you’d hoped, when a piece of work that you were excited about crosses those outer lines of your expectations and you feel disappointed. Again. But you know what? That’s your expectation. What about the person halfway across the world who reads the same fic and finds themselves in it? Finds a small piece of comfort that encourages them to hold on for just one more day. What happens when your words completely discourage the creators of your fandom, have them second guessing themselves? What happens when they lose confidence and stop creating completely? What happens when the fandom dies, and suddenly there’s nothing new to explore— to your standards or not?

You are allowed to have your opinions. Of course you are. You are allowed to express them. But you are never. EVER. allowed to tell people that they are wrong for making art that you don’t agree with. For using their imagination in a way that doesn’t fit into your small box of approval.

Let creators find happiness.

Let creators create.

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factorialsotherfandoms · 5 months

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blip bloop bitching below. keeping this out of the tags as I need to scream but don't want it to travel.

I hate so much that I genuinely dread days when Philza and Tubbo interact. Because they're friends and should be able to just hang and stuff! And it can be fun to watch! But it seems every time they even go near each other the Philza tag becomes full of crap, then people kicking back, and its /worst/ now Sunny is here (I love her, mostly, but it makes it so much worse). The post about Sunny being scared of Philza with the screenshots was at the top of the Philza Tag (by how I access them at least) for 3 days. It always defaults to top before I flip it to most recent. It wasn't tagged as discourse or neg or anything - it was just screenshots after all - but the bitching which came out of that was so much, and every time I saw them it bought the bitching to mind, and half of that wasn't tagged either (on the original posts, in the tags, where I like looking for fic and meta and fanart and check my top 4 tags each morning).

And, yeah, a 30-off year old streamer probably not even on tumblr doesn't need defending online. BUT the shit and the way those posts talk and the things they shit on him for... a) its very much cc!Phil not q!Phil no matter what people say, because he talks in the same way even on the fucking pumpkin carving stream and more importantly b) mirrors very real bullying, discrimination and hate I and a lot of other English people have experienced. (yes of course its worse if you're an ethnic minority or have a Scottish accent or any number of other things, but just because other people have it worse doesn't mean it isn't a genuine axis of discrimination).

And sometimes I need to fucking defend not him but myself, because I feel like I'm going mad.

You might not see it, you might not even know about the north-south divide and English class politics, but its embedded into near every fantasy movie you've watched, accent wise at least!

Just personal shit... I have a southern parent and a northern parent. I grew up in the south-east. As a kid I could switch accents at will. Using my mother's northern accent (slightly more natural to me, as she was home more often) I would get marked down in class for being aggressive and argumentative and other kids would think I was angry with them. My father genuinely suggested I switch which I spoke with, and it was effort but doable, and guess what? My marks went up and I was seen as friendlier than the other children. It still wasn't the accent for the region - where I grew up has a very distinct one even for the south - and yet I was treated better for it.

Which. Could have seriously messed up my future if my grades kept being marked down and I kept getting into trouble for behaviour over stuff in another accent nobody bat an eyelid to.

[I had a section here too about different treatment while getting bra fittings, but given it involved members of staff literally hurting me as a literal child only when speaking one of the two accents, I removed it. Minor hurt, but hurt.]

And that was just personal experience! Of being read as aggressive or scary or like I didn't care for sounding northern.

And of fucking course this is only ever about fucking Tubbo, the southern who logs in regularly, this shit always starts. The southerner, whose accent is on the respectable side of this not-quite-a-class-divide.

And you know how deeply routed the north-south divide is? Sociologists generally date it back to /1066/ and the north being massacred for causing trouble for the new king. Economically and in terms of reputation, the north has never actually recovered from that. Even when it was major industry, even when major ports, its /always/ been behind the south.

Not just in terms of money going around, but things like life expectancy and education expectations. Rich northerners still have a harder time than their southern peers.

(Honestly, Sunny having 'verbalised' being scared of him for his tone of voice and not other adults who treat them older than they are [because yk its impossible to tell with an egg model] also kinda rubs me the wrong way, because of that sort of treatment of me as a kid. If I was aware of more fear towards other adults she doesn't know as well it'd be easier. Yeah he's a bit intense, and he should maybe be more delicate with a kid, but heaven knows he's not the only character that is. Maybe as more people drift back we'll see it more, I don't know, the admin probably isn't English either, but dear god. The daughter of a southerner telling her daddy that the northerner is scary is such a fucking classist trope. And a really offensive one at that. And shit which actually happens irl, which sometimes leads to the police getting involved.)

#fandom neg #discourse #keeping this out of the tags as I need to scream but don't want it to travel

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angelinthefire · 1 year

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Not only is Cas + Dean + honey unfluffy, it can be downright angsty. I think that Dean, like fandom, could latch onto this one known interest Cas has, and while he'd hate being reminded of Honey Cas he'd totally try to "bribe" Cas with bee-related gifts. Dean is always interested in things that make Cas more reachable, touchable, and human. Cas, who may not even remember what happened when he was dealing with Sam's Hell memories, could easily think Dean is just taking him to a beeswax candle store because Dean likes doing human things together. It would be deliciously hurtful and unsustainable--maybe one day Dean thinks Cas is watching a bee (in fact, Cas is thinking about Dean's eye crinkles) and freaks out and after the yelling and stomping is over, they start to figure things out, but it takes a while.

I don't want to tell you not to have fun with this concept if you want.

But if you're asking for my opinion I'm going to give it, because, again, I want to keep the anti-bee discourse going. And I have to say that I disagree with you.

A large part of my objection to the bee trope is not just that it's bad characterization for Cas, but that it's also incredibly out of character for Dean to play a part in it.

Like it's not just a question of being reminded of how Cas was at that time. I think the end of s7 was such a negative experience that Dean would outright reject conceptualizing honey-Cas as a component part of Cas at all.

I could go on about "Nobody cares that you're broken, Cas, now clean up your mess". There's layers to that line (including guilt and projection on Dean's part, but also just plain anger and frustration) but this is not the post to get into that. Right now, I'm just raising it because that is the sentiment people unintentionally call back to every time they use the bee trope. That is how Dean felt about honey-Cas. So no, I don't think it's at all believable that Dean would do anything that invokes Cas' behaviour from those episodes.

(And yes, there was the "I'd rather have you" speech and Dean starting to be willing to take Cas as he is. But almost immediately after that, Dean and Cas get sucked into Purgatory and separated, so Dean never has to follow through. When he meets Cas again, Cas is "better" and Dean gets to make a clean break with honey-Cas and leave it in the past. Which he does.)

I agree that Dean is interested in bringing Cas down-to-earth, but whenever he does, it's on his terms. Dean shows Cas his own favourite movies, he makes him a mix-tape of his own favourite songs, he invites him to hang out at diners that he likes, he encourages behaviour (like flirting with waitresses) that Dean considers fundamental to his own specific experience. For Dean, making Cas human means making him relatable to his own life. It's something that I really enjoy because on the one hand, there's a kind of narrowness to it, Dean doesn't really have a curiosity about the kind of semi-human that Cas could become on his own terms. On the other hand, it's Dean sharing pieces of himself with Cas. It's Dean making Cas more his own, in a way. (also, as we know from the mix-tape, Dean is not generally in the habit of giving gifts to Cas. The mix-tape is an exception.)

That all being said, I would be glad if I started seeing the bee trope being used as a source of angst instead of as some fluffy thing. (but I'd be even happier if it was excised from the fandom entirely)

#dirigibleplumbing #spn #supernatural #dean winchester #castiel #my commentary #ask #bees

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evergreenssystem · 8 months

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It kind of bothers us to see people treat those who insist OSDID is a trauma disorder as "terfs" or to see those who insist it is not as naysayers because, and we mean this as honestly and as kindly as possible, no one fucking cares about this sort of discourse in real life.

I don't mean that medically or professionally people don't care, but rather that a diagnosis exists so that someone can receive the help and resources they need, and the only reason they would need those is if they were struggling. Many self-proclaimed endogenic systems insist they do not have trauma, therefore have no need for a diagnosis or resources given to those with severe trauma.

As a community, we know science, especially mental science, has ethics it is required to follow, which is why to test exactly how, why, and what is needed to form a dissociative disorder is unethical. That being said, there are plenty of RAMCOA/programmed systems who will sit and tell you and while there aren't papers posted on it, it is widely known, especially in Christian nationalist and human trafficking organizations, how to induce OSDID and various (mostly cluster B) personality disorders.

Hell, even someone who has never done the research but wants to start a cult can just make a system (in our experience)

Now, if we are to look at OSDID as a complex disorder stemming from PTSD (post traumatic Stress disorder), then the idea that being "mixed origin" due to experiencing stress makes no sense. Stress is inherently traumatic, though in varying amounts for different people. Autistics tend to have lower stress thresholds.

Also, many people devalue their trauma. They act like because it wasn't dramatic or fancy enough, that because it wasn't a cult or witnessing a body, it isn't "enough." This couldn't be further from the truth.

A list of things that could cause any number of traumagenic disorders:

Spanking

Employing the false parenting method of leaving a child to cry in their crib so that they will "learn." (they are incapable of such, as they are a child)

Forcing a child to spend long, unwilling periods of time by themselves

Forcing a child to sit in silence puncuated by meditative or "worship" procedures as a punishment (the Mormon church does this often)

Having an inconsistent and often negative view on a child's consistent actions (being kind one day and miserable the next etc etc)

Repeated bullying

Emotional and/or physical abuse from a person in power of the child (parents, teachers, lawmakers, other students)

Gaslighting

Enforcing body dysmorphia

A child growing up in a home where the parents hate each other and do not try to hide it or do anything about it

Religious abuse/harassment (things along the line of "if you don't follow our very vague and impossible idea of perfection, you will burn or suffer forever")

Medical neglect

Emotional neglect

Physical neglect

Sexual harrassment

Sexual assault

Rape/CSA/CSEM

Torture

Witnessing death

Cannibalism

Being forced to engage in and/or cover up a murder

Literally anything cults do

There is no precedent for how severe the trauma has to be as long as it is trauma and repeated. You will notice how a good portion of these are usually started in infancy, before memories may even form. This is often why many systems don't remember or cannot access those memories. No matter what type of amnesia, if the brain was never able to remember its trauma from the metaphorical get-go, it is unlikely it would gain the ability to do so.

If you experience plurality or dissociation, speaking to an informed trauma specialist, or even a close friend who may deal with the same thing and is educated about what is going on may help. Personally, I don't care if someone identifies as endogenic or multigenic or whatever label people come up with to excuse their trauma. One of the symptoms of this disorder is denial. I don't even encourage trying to find out the specifics of one's trauma without a strong support system. I do think self-diagnosis is a valuable tool, but like any form of diagnosis, it is designed to figure out what the problem is, so that it can be easier to manage. I also think it's unfair to call those who believe the current research on the disorder "TERFs" or "sysmeds," as being trans has no link to childhood trauma or any significant research to back up what "causes" it.

For context, the gender dysphoria argument was created sometime in the early stages of trans medicine so that doctors could determine which patients would do anything for SRS/HRT, so that they could make their prices unreasonable.

#mental health #mental health blog #did #dissociative identity disorder #osdd #otherwise specified dissociative disorder #pdid #partial did #ptsd #evergreen system

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scilifig · 9 months

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Hi guys long time no see! i feel extremely sad for not saying this earlier and honestly haven’t vent had the energy to write this, but I’ve been inactive for a while on this acc. I never rlly thought i would make this tweet, but im not as engaged in this fandom as i once was, partly due to my mental health not allowing me to enjoy as much as i used to, and other factors. Its honestly been so upsetting feeling myself slowly start to distance myself, and slowly not being updated on content, whereas in the past i would never miss a piece of content and it was the only thing i thought about. i no longer understand certain niche tweets about current content and have lost all energy to even bother to scroll tl. its honestly been such a journey trying to find myself and understand what i enjoy outside of this fandom, because for so long it has been the only thing going for me, and i feel like i had such a strong attachment to the cc’s i enjoyed, and found my health and headspace got worse when there wasn’t content, and was so anxiously attached to twitter and never wanted to miss out on anything, and i felt so left out all the time. honestly the meetup was one of the most joyous, beautiful, experiences, but also quite traumatic for me.

another thing i haven’t mentioned is the toll its had on my mental health being fixated on a content creator that is treated so terribly, and is seen as punching bag of the internet in most cases, and having to see discourse after discourse and seeing everything’s antis are saying was so draining. i feel like that ruined my mindset, because before i had twitter, i didn’t even know what antis were and i was enjoying content as it was, and honestly didn’t even know what stan twt was. i could talk about the negative effects this app has had on me, but i want to acknowledge the good.

i just want to say that i still absolutely love the dteam and i feel like i always will, they have been such a huge part of my life and i will forever be grateful to them, im so excited for new things coming and im so proud of dream and all the new music and future endeavours! i wish nothing but the best for them all, and will support them for a long time to come! i hope everyone in the fandom experiences so much love and happiness, and has so much more amazing content to enjoy!

i dont want to get too emotional, but i am truly so grateful for this community. it genuinely saved me and im not able to articulate it with words. I had no idea that there was such a community like this on the internet, that was so loving and accepting, so talented with so many incredible creatives and beautiful human beings. all of this made me feel loved in a way i never knew i could feel. i have met so many beautiful people that are now some of my best friends and i dont know what it would be like without them, and to all my mutuals and anyone thats ever interacted with me, thank you. i love you all so dearly, and the suppourt i have gotten on my art has felt unreal. i never understood why i even gained followers, and was honestly so shocked that ppl would see something i created, and like it enough to comment the nicest things imaginable. honestly im getting teary eyes while writing this and im sure that this format of writing might be a bit difficult to read and im rambling but thank you so much. if you have taken time to read this far!

i’ve been active on my private account posting about random life updates but also about other things i like, such as cartoons! i do spam alot over there and i totally understand not wanting to follow me if u dont share the same interests, but if u are interested in seeing me on ur tl, u can always follow! @/curlywurly1239

im not sure what i want to do with this acc as i dont want to annoy ppl with posting art other than what i was followed for, so i think ill leave it as is! i think ill still be on here sometimes to support my moots and talk every now and then, but not very frequently! again thank you so much i love you all so much, i hope u are all doing well, and if not, i hope u are treating urself kindly because you deserve the entire world and more, and you deserve love and care! tysm if u read all this im so grateful for you guys 💕

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elvenbeard · 11 months

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I read your post about headcanons about Kerry's sexuality, and I totally agree with what you said about headcanons not taking away from representation, but I'm curious what your view are on mods that change a character's sexuality so anyone can romance them? I know there is, or at least used to be, quite a bit of debate around that. You don't have to answer if you don't want to, I'd hate to start any discourse drama on your blog. I'm just curious because I'm not even sure where I stand on the matter, and have been back and forth on it for a long time.

It's all good nonny! I have been asking myself that lately tbh, and I know I've been back and forth on it myself, too.

In this moment in time, I am completely indifferent on the existence of mods that do stuff like that. I don't condone or like them, but I'm not gonna do anything about them either. I know years ago in the Dragon Age fandom there was huge discourse and drama around a mod that made Dorian (canonically gay, his whole character arc revolves around that fact, just in case you're not into that series) available to be romanced by a female Inquisitor. And back then I was absolutely livid. Dorian was (and still is) one of my fave characters in the DA universe. And honestly, I couldn't even tell you now if anything ever came off of that whole drama (but I doubt it, cause it rarely does) - that's how pointless Internet drama really is. In the worst case, the person who made that mod got driven out of fandom entirely and now has negative associations with the queer community as a whole.

Do I think that mods that change a queer character's canon orientation are amazing? No, not really, and most of the time, especially in Dorian's case, they make no sense at all for the characters' arcs. I personally would never wanna play them and I'd also rather not know why some people make them.

(I'm completely biased here btw, because I do not feel as negatively about mods that change a canonically straight character's orientation to something queer. Simply because I'm queer and greedy for more representation, because there cannot be enough XD Does that make me a hypocrite to some people? Maybe, but honestly, I don't really care. And as I said in my post, and as you mentioned, even the "straight mods" do not take away from any queer representation that canonically exists.)

The thing is, me and others screaming and yelling about "straight mods" (or "bi mods" for characters that are explicitly gay/lesbian) is not gonna change a thing, mods like that are always gonna exist. Content I don't agree with is always something I can come across at random, and I keep finding new things that make me go "nope!" regularly. And even if I'm not screaming and yelling, and instead try to be reasonable, talk objectively with the mod makers as for xyz reasons their mod is not good in my eyes... I'm too old for that shit XD I'd rather use my energy and limited time to make a lot of gay stuff featuring my favourite queer blorbos instead of arguing with strangers why a straight!Dorian or bi!Judy or straight/bi!whoever mod is bad. Fandom should be a hobby, not activism, and you can go about fighting homophobia in a lot better ways than arguing about who certain pixel people would like to bone or not.

I wish there were - or maybe there are and I haven't figured it out yet - ways to filter stuff I don't wanna see on Nexus for example like there are on tumblr, ao3, any other social media site with a good tagging system and means to block tags or phrases or users. Curating your own experience and finding people who share your interests is so important and has really improved my time in fandom a lot over the last years. And it's good to have friends you can rant to about stupid things that upset you in private, definitely XD

So, on that note, ship whoever you wanna ship in this context, but tag it so that people who don't wanna see it can avoid it and don't get mad. Also sorry this got long and slightly off topic, I'm a chronic rambler.

(also, if anything's unclear, feel free to reach out again! sometimes I don't express myself as well as I think I do XD)

#answered asks #anonymous #I don't know how to tag this uuuuhhhhh #fandom stuff

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momentsofamber · 3 months

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Hey uuuuh did you know... Ur big swaggy and hella stronger than ur demons? 😉👍 You've overcome them in the past to make it to today, you'll overcome today's with the lessons from the past, and the future doesn't know what it has coming to it 📣👏😁

Anon, this was so nice to wake up to. 😭 Thank you so much!!

I'm so sorry it took me all day to respond to this and I'm about to ramble so feel free to skim this, I'm gonna dump it under a read more. ( Do people even still use these in 2024? askdjhf )

I never directly attacked anyone in my time while pretending to be an anti. I was just completely silent on the matter, letting my morality complex and p.edophobia ocd wage war on my well-being.

It's ironic, I've been on this site since about 2010; and in 2012 when I started to be at my first most active point on tumblr and had a friend group on here, I would blog about Wincest (SPN) on main and no one said anything or thought anything of it, they just kept scrolling. That was the norm. People just SHIPPED whatever they wanted.

Flash ahead to like 2018 and suddenly everywhere I go there are now neon eyesore banners on posts, including fucking stimboards and whatnot with 'p.roship d.ni' and 'a.nti-a,ntis d.ni' ( I'm censoring that just so this post isn't blacklisted from proshippers because that is NOT my stance ) and I was like 'I don't even know what these terms MEAN?? where did these come from??' but I was too afraid to ask anyone so I just. Stayed silent and promised myself I'd only reblog "safe" content and that I was "happy" I'd "become a better person since then". ( spoiler: I was lying to myself. )

And over the years any time I made new friends who had never seen that content on my blog back then, I'd just say I didn't support Problematic Content(tm) and I'd only talk about and rp and reblog ships that were "normal", because I was now so afraid people would reject me at any time because it seemed like the anti crowd was so large and violent and nasty -- my mental health at that time would not have been able to handle that hatred.

-- in fact I had this SAME experience in the plural community with the a.nti-e.ndos for identifying as a median system. ( we know now that we are a bpdgenic osdd-1b system, but we still prefer most median terminology to describe ourselves. ) But the traumagenic DID systems who were pro-endo were so much more welcome to interacting with us than the exclusionists. And it's the same bullshit different flavor happening here with the proshippers.

How much overlap is there between a.nti-e.ndo and a.nti-p.roship rhetoric, I wonder? It's wild. I wish I had learned how to undo my black and white thinking so much sooner and listen to new points of view instead of just shying away from the unknown in fear.

But this is a new year, and this is a new me. This blog is going to be a source of love and positivity and learning about other people's experiences. Any discourse or negativity ( even the validating kind ) will remain on my sideblog. I don't have to like or even agree with everything I see online, but I am going to support people's right to say it, do it, make content of it, as long as all parties involved are consenting. ( Fictional characters, animated or live action, do not have the autonomy to consent or not consent so people can do anything they want with fiction that makes them feel happy and fulfilled, full stop. Yes, this includes RPF and selfshipping. As long as you keep your content in your safe space and no actors/musicians/etc involved in the creation of that character you're using are able to see it - I will support your right to make or consume any content as you see fit. )

#proship #proship safe #proshippers please interact #ambers.ask #ambers.txt

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shipping-strawberry · 2 years

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I wanna say foremost that I have absolutely nothing against Lacey. She seems like a very nice person, and I have seen her art— it is cute!

However, I don’t think she should return to Tumblr.

It’s not because I dislike her, or that I’m an anti, or anything like that. I support her, and I’m upset at the hate she’s getting. It gives me heartache.

But I really don’t think that Tumblr is healthy for her, particularly mentally. She’s already gotten very suicidal over hate these past few months, if not years. I’m worried that she may end up actually hurting herself, or worse.

Plus, the consistent harassment, suicide baits, death threats…I don’t think she should have to endure all that just to make positivity posts for us proshippers, sweet as they are.

All in all, her leaving Tumblr seems like a much better alternative than her remaking blogs over and over again just to get the same disgust and hate every time.

[TLDR at the bottom.]

hi there, anon!

i want to start off by saying that you most certainly do bring up a fair point, and you are right; lacey will keep getting harassed, no matter how many times she remakes her blog. antis will just keep digging through the proship tag to find her blog over and over and over again.

i will admit, though, i don't agree completely.

antis are sending her hate because she's a proshipper. we all know that. but that's not the only reason they do it; they want attention.

and that's why antis do what they do. that's why they send anon hate. that's why they crosstag. that's why they start discourse on proship posts. because they're attention-seeking little gremlins, desperate for people to notice them — wherever it's in a negative light or not.

i've wanted to say this to lacey for some time now, though i never did because i felt like it would be too rude, but she really should just avoid responding to anon hate altogether. i know she does it because she feels like she's standing up for herself, but it's so pointless, because surprise, surprise: antis aren't going to give two thirds of a fuck about what she has to say. she can cook up the best response with multiple articles and sources to back her up and prove her haters wrong, and guess what? they'll still call her a pedophile. it won't change a thing, because they'll still be starved for the attention that they get from her.

and honestly, every time i see lacey, or even just anyone in general respond to anon hate, i just mentally facepalm so hard, because guys — you're giving them what they want.

i don't know if it's obvious, but i myself am a very angry person in real life. i have extreme difficulty managing my anger, and i constantly go apeshit over even just the smallest of things. i've even had to seek help because of this behavior.

trust me — i know how tempting it can be to respond to anon hate. i know how much you will get the urge to just let loose and go off after reading an aggressive message in your inbox. but just don't do it. block them, report them, and keep the hate out of your inbox and away from your blog. at the end of the day, antis just want attention.

don't give them what they want.

don't give them that satisfaction.

and here's the thing: if there's one specific anti constantly harassing you on anon like lacey had, and you keep replying to all their asks, they're going to keep on harassing you.

and if you don't? they'll eventually fuck off and leave you alone, because they're not getting the attention that they desire from you.

if lacey wants to stop getting anon hate, then she needs to stop responding to it. because antis will just continue abusing her and using her as a source of attention. needless to say, they don't give a shit if they're hurting her and badly damaging her mental health. because they'll put their own desires ahead of anyone else's, because that's just what antis do.

want to know something? i discovered one of my friends is a proshipper very recently. and although they don't actually have any ships, because shipping is not really their thing, they told me that they used to run a (now deactivated) proship blog on tumblr with a few other people. and guess what? they have never received hate from antis. not once.

want to know why? because they didn't allow anonymous asks.

antis know that hiding behind the anonymous mask is a cowardly move. and they know that they're the ones in the wrong, because the moment a blog doesn't allow anonymous asks, they stay quiet.

tumblr is most certainly damaging for lacey's mental health. you are absolutely right about that. not even just that, but it can even be damaging for other people when they see those anon asks, too.

stepping away from tumblr is a great decision for her to make, and i can see why you think it's a good idea. i think it's a good idea, too. last time lacey had her blog deactivated, she took some time away from tumblr, which is probably what's best for her, and i think she's doing the same thing again.

but her mental health can be so much better if she just chooses to remain on the positive side if the community.

yes, when she decides to come back, there will be those nasty anons in her inbox again. i can guarantee that. but if she'd only stop responding to them, they will eventually leave her alone.

and if they don't, the simple solution is to just turn of anonymous asks. because that ensures the antis will fuck off completely.

things can be so much better for lacey if she just stops giving antis what they want. because then she can focus on happily posting her art and posting/reblogging positivity for proshippers. antis won't bother her again, and her mental health won't continue to get damaged.

i hope this didn't sound too rude, because that wasn't my intention at all. i just wanted to share about my thoughts on anonymous hate, and how to deal with it.

TLDR: antis want attention, so if lacey wants to stop getting anon hate, she needs to stop replying to it. replying to anon hate gives antis the attention they want, so please don't respond to them and give them that satisfaction. if you don't respond, the antis will eventually leave you alone because they're not getting the attention they want from you. turning off anon asks also ensures there will be no hate from antis whatsoever, because antis are cowards and are too scared to stop hiding behind the anon mask.

#ask #long post #proship #proship safe #anti anti #antis dni #anti harassment #proshippers please interact #not positivity #abuse mention #harassment mention

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softmoonlightmelody · 1 year

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about me

decided i should probably make this

so, hi! you can call me moonlight. i use any and all pronouns. i'm primarily in the keeper and percy jackson fandoms, although i do blog and reblog other content from other fandoms, and i blog and reblog about general queer and transiness stuff.

other blogs: @moonlightswritingandstuff (my writing blog), @moonlightswritinginspoarchive (self-explanatory)

i have an ao3, it's the same name, it's linked in my blog. enjoy.

so here i'm going to go into everything mostly important:

i'm in full support of trans people (i am one, after all) and literally everyone in the lgbtqiap+ community. i am not about to hate someone for arbitrary reasons

i do not support jkr or any terfs, but my general opinion on harry potter and jkr is 'let it die in obscurity. i could not care less' and as thus i generally don't reblog anything about jkr, even negative. i tend to stay away from her in general. point is i do not support anything jkr has done, including her antisemitism, transphobia, and general terribleness. i'm missing a bunch of things because she sucks but oh well. if you like harry potter, that's fine, like what you like, but know that i do not support jkr in the slightest. relating to the hogwarts legacy game, i am of the opinion that it sucks despite never even touching it. jkr can go die in a hole, but i generally want her to die in obscurity. it would be a great day when no one remembers her.

i'm open to most ships, i do not care about what UNLESS they are incest or pedophilia ships. however, i skew favourable to femslash ships, and i do acknowledge characters who don't get in a relationship and aro and a-spec characters. they are cool, and are all my blorbos.

i do not share personal information beyond what is already in this post and perhaps what people can garner from reading closely. please do not ask me about personal information. maybe sometime in the far future i might share more, but for now, i am a private person online. please do not press about this.

no hate! i'd rather not deal with someone who disagrees with my personal interpretation. a lot of them are personal, like drew tanaka, but at the same time i acknowledge they exist. it's okay to disagree with me, and generally my interpretations are made based off of my cultural framing and general knowledge because i enjoy worldbuilding in various themed cultures.

you can always ask my opinion on literally anything, including fandoms i'm not in. i want to see you ask me about obscure things i've never heard of, let me read a summary on wikipedia, and form my opinion solely based off of it. because that's funny.

i like pretty colours and stuff, which is why a few of my posts and my blog has that look to it

i like occasionally going through a fandom-wide fanart tag to look at cool stuff people draw. i love art, my favourite art movement is probably impressionistic.

relating to that, classical music? cool. i like romantic period.

music in general i vibe to. do not care what i listen to as long as it's not like heavy metal. i digress.

i should probably stop rambling

in conclusion, i generally don't engage in a lot of discourse because i don't need to engage in that. i have my opinions, you have yours, let's stay away from each other on that topic.

#about me post

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sizzlingpatrolfox · 2 years

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Lately, there's much weird energy going on regarding jm related things. Since his OST something or the other is happening, the whole insurance bill followed by company sayin "no comments" but they were backing up that bully girl and also billboard didn't posted any article on his proof video but they posted all the other members till now (surprisingly I haven't seen BTS is 7 trend yet lol) Even him in that Spotify video just sitting without much enthusiasm like he always had is all making me feel like is everything okay??! Also I'm new to this all hate/negative discourse on a celeb (haven't been in any fandom except bts) so it's bit weird to see a particular member getting hate for whatever he is doing. Would like to know your thoughts on this if you have any??

- hybe's treatment of jimin's ost is especially abysmal. i shift back and forth as to whether he'll resign with them when the time comes but it just gets more and more blatant that something's up due to the way they go about everything regarding him. it's not isolated either, they just do all they can to not care about jimin and his work.

---

It reminded me there was another similar ask so I'm including it. Eventually I would've gotten to it but now that we're on the subject 😅

It has certainly been nonstop. The change in the time release for the OST was very random, didn't and still doesn't make sense why would they do that. Everyone else released their Our Blues OSTs at 6pm. It has been a while but so it doesn't sound like the time is something crazy to care about, and in case it hasn't been made obvious by how, days after, Psy released his album at 6pm and not 11pm LMAO, I saw this explanation by traceofjimin.

And they said the time release was discussed and decided on by the artist's agency (or agencies). They know how it works and they still decided to do it. BTS used to release their stuff at 6pm kst too, it changed to accommodate USA time of release but it was 6pm until ON.

Aside from that, I really think the insurance bill and filter issues were done by akgaes. Hybe/bighit has never exactly handled any "scandal" BTS were involved in, probably the tattoo shop thing was the most they gave statements on or said they would do anything about. But usually it's just one single "we deny this" and they move on. So I'm not surprised and I don't think it's weird that they disregarded the bill issue so quickly. And also, to be honest, I don't know what else was there to say. I genuinely think the articles and the way it was dragged out was an akgae thing. Same with the filter credits for that man. Whether his personal info was leaked because someone from the company was "careless" when managing his documents (that's a very sarcastic careless), there's no way to know that. If it was leaked or sold by people that work close to him, I hope Jimin is aware and is handling it.

It also all just piled up over the already existing and recent enlistment controversy, so it's possible that media are just taking advantage of it, you know the saying "when it rains it pours".

Now, the billboard articles........................ It's fishy af. I don't know who's deciding that and if it's hybe, I don't know why would they want to alienate Jimin from album conversation like that but it definitely looks like a conscious choice to not do an article about him. It was deliberate.

About the hate, yeah.. kpop is like that, unfortunately. It definitely does not happen this often or this seriously when it comes to western celebrities. You can google "kpop anti-fans" "kpop anti-fans incidents" and you'll see for yourself. It's crazy. It's an industry and fan culture that for some reason or another has always begotten a lot of hate.

As for Jimin, I think he was like that for most of 2021, sadly. I mean, he was quiet and seemingly uninterested for a lot of their interviews, especially during butter promo. And last year he actually said on few ocassions that he wasn't feeling that happy or excited, it wasn't anything alarming but he did subtly mentioned being too lost in his thoughts and things like that. He's probably got a lot on his plate, honestly. I guess we should just wait and see; he's a person like anyone else and being under the weather sometimes it's completely normal, but it's also not too logical for us to make conclusions based on one or two clips, imo. I would like to know what he really, really, really thinks of this album tho.

Before, the times that anything controversial happened, there was always positive, good BTS content to push that negativity back or even completely ignore it; now, there's nothing like that and even the album-related content released so far is honestly nawtttt making a lot of noise so it's easy to get carried away with the negative stuff.

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tuesdayintheservantshall · 2 years

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Okay. I’m probably not going to say this well. But I feel I’d rather say it sooner than better, so here goes.

The things we want out of fiction and find satisfying do not automatically become issues of moral value, or indicate uh, anything about us as people, just because we are currently talking about published works rather than fanfic. There are certainly conversations to be had about what narratives in a popular work have what impacts, what’s helpful representation to the most people, whatever. But that isn’t the conversation most of us are having. And maybe the things I’m seeing are directed towards conversations in that vein that I’m seeing less of. But if so, please recognize how they sound to people who are just. Talking about their personal preferences. And, sorry, it’s probably better manners to stay general and not directly “vague” specific posts, but actually I think I do need to be specific for a moment: you cannot tell how privileged someone is by what narratives they find satisfying that is not now and has never been how this works.

And as someone who was on the wrong side of this discourse when we had the slapfight after the trailer dropped? When many people were implying that it would be Bad Representation for Thomas and Richard to break up or be non-monogamous? I don’t fucking like watching the tables be turned.

And uh. I know in this fandom we often know whether a given individual in fandom is straight, gay, or other, but what we don’t and can’t know is which queer person is silently desperately agreeing with which statements, while too nervous to publicly state it. (And for every story that you might be tempted to think is “for straight people” or is only unappealing to straight people, I pinky swear there are queer people who have exactly the same preference.) So if nothing else please consider the splash damage if you’re ever tempted to say “you only think that because you’re straight”. (Also like. You don’t know it’s true, because see previous parenthetical.)

Many of us have frayed tempers right now and I get it. I mean, I recognize that comments were made on the movie-negative side that consisted of basically the same message in reverse, and they were sometimes seemingly endorsed by people who I think didn’t notice because they were busy being really unhappy with the meal they’d been served. So. I see that, I recognize it. This isn’t one-sided and probably some people on the positive side are having some “well you started it!” feelings which believe me, I get. (And to movie-negative people who have been feeling like they’re not allowed to talk about what they didn’t like - that’s part of what’s going on. Both that you may have been seeming to endorse those messages without realizing, and that because those messages came flying a little heavy when the movie first dropped, people on the positive side are pattern matching a little to earlier statements.)

I don’t have some satisfying way to wrap up this post so I’m just gonna

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carpedzem · 3 years

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a little about how it was to be on dreblr for the past few months

this post is inspired by another ‘apologist’ discourse, but mostly this post is for me and for my need to speak about what my friends have been dealing with these past few months now and hopefully this will be the last time I look at this discourse.

this post is about tumblr only, i don't know how people act on twt, I don't care, tumblr is my main platform and everything in this post is about my experience.

let's start with the most pressing thing. the term apologist. it's not like we came up with the idea to use this word. it was a name that was forced upon us and as far as i know, we just kinda adapted. we gave up. some people call themselves c!dream apologists out of spite. some just don't care. I don't like using it, but I do it so people can mark me with a red flag and just leave me alone. but at the end of the day neither me nor my friends excuse all c!dream actions.

'if you get upset over a character that's on you' I AGREE! that's why I'm doing all I can to avoid seeing negative takes. so let's play a game. block the c!dream critical tag and then visit the dreamwastaken tag. how long does it take for you to find untagged c!dream hate? 5 minutes or less (usually less). IT'S EXHAUSTING. we keep asking people to tag their posts correctly but they ignore it or just flat out refuse to do that. there's a rather big blog who straight up has 'I won't tag c!dream neg' in their bio. when someone is brave enough to ask, they often hear that the post won't be tagged because that's true or canon. there would be no problem if that was just on their own blog. no one is required to tag anything after all. but if someone uses the main tag, shouldn't it be common courtesy to add the critical/negative tags? one of the blogs to follow when you search for the c!dream tag is called something like ‘cdreamhateblog’. we have to create our own tag to see the sympathetic takes about c!dream because visiting main tags stopped being fun for us. that's one of the reasons why we are so closed off. so maybe, just maybe, it's not all on us.

since we are talking about big blogs - I think some people are not aware how small dreblr is. almost no take passes 500 notes even if it is cool, unusual, has all the clips. but at the same time the most ooc takes, based on headcanons will gain 1k notes overnight. and of course it's tagged incorrectly. of course it's the first thing I'll see when I want to see some loveposting about a content creator.

it still bugs me that when I made some appreciation post for the people who don't hate c!dream, it left the dreblr bubble and people started tagging it like 'I love to hate him' and I got upset because that wasn't the point of the post, so I made another post about it. and you know what happened? I got vagueposted by another big blog. and that's wild because they weren't following me. they saw my post, they visited my blog, they saw that I was upset, they LIED what the post was about and then blocked me because they 'didn't want drama' so I couldn't even defend myself against those lies. and who other people are going to believe - a big respected blog or some c!dream apologist?

'people act like it's not clear why others don't like him'. oh believe me at least once a week someone gets an essay in their ask box why c!dream is the worst and irredeemable. I wish I could have one week when something about c!dream isn't made about the exile. and we get it! he was and sometimes still is an asshole! I’ve never seen anyone saying he wasn’t! but you have to understand that some people look at some of his actions with a different approach or depth and want to know more about his character. sure you can disagree with it because for you everything is crystal clear. but, despite what some people think, this is what dreblr is about! everyone is allowed to like and dislike characters as they please - that's why we ask: let us enjoy c!dream in a sympathetic way! (also 'apologists have to understand that they are wrong/have to accept that c!dream is villain' LMAO and we are the ones who don't understand why other people interpret a character differently?)

I'm not getting angry at the people who disagree with dreblr. but I do get angry at takes that are half-truths or just straight up lies. the most recent one: how many people believe that it was confirmed canonically that c!dream built prison for c!tommy because c!sam said so? and how many people know that cc!sam said it's not confirmed, that's what his character assumed and that we should focus on c!dream’s silence? exactly. maybe the prison was built for c!tommy, who knows? fandom for sure not because nothing has been confirmed. again, it's just exhausting seeing your favourite character being dragged through the dirt every time a new lore stream happens and lied about only because so many people dislike him.

'all c!dream apologists...' love c!sapnap because I love him. hate c!sapnap because my friend hates him. hate c! tommy. love c! tommy. c!dream and c!ranboo are brothers. c!dream and c!foolish are brothers. c!dnf is canon. c!fwt is canon. dreblr would be so BORING if we all were the same. we are not, we like different things, we have different theories, we want different things for c!dream. the main thing we have in common is that we see c!dream in a more sympathetic way. which also means that YES, there are bad apples here. there are probably people who are unfair towards your fav. there are people who speak about things that trigger you with words that make you uncomfortable. but you can ALWAYS ask to tag it better or just block the person. and continue to have fun in the fandom. just like we want to have fun.

and the last thing to address I believe. anon hate and death threats. it IS common in this part of the fandom. we have an ongoing list of safe people to follow. a list of people that will gladly discuss with anits because some people are too tired or too scared. there's always a creeping fear of your post leaving the safe bubble because it means it’s going to be constantly reblogged by people who are going to hate on us and send even more rude asks. I mean look how many dreblr takes are tagged also with the dsmp tag - almost none. some people don’t want to breach containment at any cost. sometimes people close the ask box for days or turn off anon because something happened outside dreblr and people are on the hunt for us. again. every red flag kinda post ends up being just c!dream apologists hate-fest at some point. it’s not like death threads surprise us but they are still unpleasant. same with people claiming that we need mental help. one of my friends was discussing some canon events with a very rude person just for this person to be back a week or so later to do some weird 'in your face' rebuttal after a new lore stream. so yeah maybe we sometimes are too scared to interact with other people, we can react too violently to criticism but you have to understand why we are like this.

on a side note, because that was already discussed - 'they are abuser apologists', you do know that some of us are abuse survivors as well, right? like, this is common knowledge, right? finding c!dream sympathetic doesn't cancel your trauma and people don't have to tell you about their trauma for you to give them a free pass? we are on the same page, right? also - no one should have to have any trauma to be allowed to enjoy a fictional character! do you even hear how weird that sounds?!

so with all of that, people started getting more vocal about how it is in the fandom. how uncomfortable we feel in this fandom space. funnily enough it happened around the time when that one reddit post went viral - when a girl had end years long friendship because her friend couldn't stop accusing her of being an abuser apologist even when person in question was a survivor. one day when I was wasting my time on tumblr I found a post that haunts me to this day. another big blog (because of course) wrote something like 'guys leave c!dream apologists alone, because they will start playing victims'. can you imagine that? can you imagine saying something like that to your followers, knowing perfectly well that they treat you like someone with the most based takes? I don't want to say that we are the victims, because it sounds too heavy when we talk about fandom discourse, but we for sure are not in the wrong here.

at the end of a day it's not like we hate everyone who disagree with us. dreblr has a lot of love to offer and I believe it can be confirmed by a lot of people who interact with us. we even 'adopt' people who don't call themselves c!dream apologists when they act friendly towards us. as long as you respect our ideas and correctly tags your crit we can be friends. but I won't offer a compromise about my feelings when it takes so little from other people for me and many others to feel safe in fandom space.

not every c!dream apologist would sign off under this post or agree with every single word said because again - we are different, and we have different experiences and we all deal with fandom hate differently. there are people who care less than me. there are people who care more.

I needed to write this post because sometimes when I see some discussion about apologism I wonder - maybe people are not aware how bad it can get out of nowhere here? so now you know :)

to whoever reaches this point of the post, thank you for your time. I hope it will help change things at least a little bit <3

#dreblr #dsmp #fandom critical

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