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#and theres no engagement either. its just likes and likes
lunar-wandering · 2 years
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every time i open tumblr i end up seeing a post or something or other that triggers my intrusive thoughts again. i really wanna come back but it’s becoming really difficult to manage to open up this site and feel happy about being here.
#vent#kinda i guess#you know. i used to never see negative posts or discourse or anything. now it seems like that's all that's ever on here.#and that's really not why i joined and stayed on tumblr#now its like every time i open this site or turn there's some argument and usually it's stuff i agree with#but sometimes it's stuff that's good on a surface level but underneath has MAJOR red flags#i've blocked more people this year than ever just because their ''informative'' fandom posts would get reblogged and end up on my dash#because they're so good at hiding their red flags under stuff that seems reasonable#i just. like yeah. there are some good posts that i agree with. but that doesn't mean that i want to be thinking about the arguments and-#and the people who are genuinely in the wrong/just straight up bad people all the time#tumblr was my place to relax but now it seems like everywhere there's an important take and someone who's clearly someone i should block#and bad news and bad events and things in like fandoms and stuff i'm not even connected to#and theres no engagement either. its just likes and likes#no reblogs with fun discussions#THATS what i was on tumblr for.#i miss it. having conversations through reblogs. created fun fandom theories and discussions and AUs#i miss doing that#i miss seeing that#now it's like nobody ever does it. or at least doesn't do it on here.#i don't feel like i've had fun participating in fandom on here in months.#it's just stressful now.#there's good people and things yes but the bad (which is actually a minority of things and people) is somehow overpowering it#mainly through good people not realizing they're encouraging bad people by trying to fight it#just. when something bad happens. block it and don't let it spread.#that's what you're meant to do. arguing or harrassing only makes things worse#but its just. it' really is all i ever see now#i miss my dash only being filled with art and fun fandom theories and headcanons and stuff#only there's no way to curate it to that now. im always going to end up seeing something i could've continued on not knowing about.#and i used to be better at coping with it#but after t h a t happened in july.......
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puppyeared · 3 months
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mascot
#this isnt vent dw!!! i dont smoke either i was just kinda going for some sort of vibe#i know its usually played for laughs or like. dark humor whenever ppl draw mascots without their heads and u can see the actor#but i always found it fascinating and a little sobering. ever since i was a kid ive always been hyperaware of ppl in costumes#like. even if i tried to block it out id be thinking the whole time 'its not real. theres a person in that suit who gets paid to do this'#it used to be an uncomfortable nagging feeling but now its like. oh yeah theres someone with a whole life story doing this. idk#i think when i tell ppl im not conscious of my body its like. im not dysphoric or experience dissociation but. at the same time#it feels like my physical body doesnt fully outwardly represent me..?? like some sort of costume#i like to phrase it as being a giant hairless mecha and inside theres a very tiny puppy piloting the damn thing#and the other thing is. when i draw my sona i dont really see it as what i /wish/ i looked like or how i want people to see me#its like being in a costume and just. fucking around with some sort of barrier between myself and others#plus mascots arent allowed to talk and i dont really. engage with other ppl in public spaces that it kinda feels like ad lib#i share a lot abt my life but ironically im also a private person..... i guess it just gives me some sort of control over my identity#my art#myart#my oc#sona#mascot#furry#??? is this furry art????#twinkle#puppysona#edit: had to outline it bc i just realized it looks really weird on dark mode -_-
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kelocitta · 10 days
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Tangentially related to some of the discussion i posted earlier but quiet literally the first RW Art Month i participated I did it completely on whim like, one day before it started. And I mostly did it because I hadn't drawn a ton of rain world and wanted to draw more. Fandom presence was a lot smaller than and I was one of a handful of artists who did the entire thing. Fast forward and I still do Art Month and I've gotten to work with VC directly. But it was quite literally something I decided to do completely on whim that set the ball rolling, and for something a lil more niche and certainly with a lot more dev/fandom art involvement than most. It's really random how and why you might get noticed more than usual, especially with the "toss it into the search and hope it pays out' mechanism of Socmed
#t.extpost#and im hardly the fanciest art month artist out there so it wasnt even about being a jaw droppingly talented artist or whatever#and while artmonth for rw is still given a huge focus its also a much much bigger thing now with a much bigger number of participants#which is cool! its awesome how many people i saw do most if not all of last art month! and VC is really good about not just repping the#most popular artists or fanciest pieces#but theres So Much More there now and while its great for finding artists its also impossible to get Everyone in there you know?#Although they absolutely try#And this is like. one of the most fanartist involved devs ive ever seen in terms of both celebrating the art their fans make and actively#bringing those fans in to contribute#and its /still/ hard to get going just because thats how Posting is#i used to be more of a hk artist which is both a huge fandom and riddled with stunning artists but theres So Many#and niche fandoms are niche so youre more likely to connect with people but less likely to see a ton of engagement regularly -#probably best example i have for that was being briefly fixated on patapon.#Its just messy to try and find the hack that sets you up#just have fun and jump around and make what you like#get a sense of feeling for your style and some people will stick around for that vs. strictly the subject matter#others will look up the thing you switched too and some wont engage#you cant really control it#so have fun and draw that thing you randomly thought about at 2 am that doesnt match your blog#draw for that forgotten rpg you liked when you were 15 or draw for the 70 player max steam game you played for this week#you never really know what will happen#but its not really worth worrying about what will happen either
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sieglinde-freud · 11 months
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i think the fell xenologue does a great job at characterizing some of the royals beyond the vanilla game mostly because every single royal has like one or two core principles that really make them who they are and so getting rid of those one or two things completely converts them into a completely different person. like alcryst losing his self doubt, celine loses her empathy, hortensia loses her resilience, etc etc. but i think my favorite version of this has to be fogado, who has in my opinion the most drastic change. i think all of the other royals have very outward presenting traits that you can easily catch onto and see theyve lost. but fogado is just a little different, because what fell fogado lacks isnt really a trait; he loses his sense of love. (rest under the cut bc it turned into an essay. my bad also fell xenologue spoilers obvs)
“our” fogado (?? idk how to differentiate between them. work with me here) is not an easy person to read in universe. he makes it very clear in chapter 13 that he’s pretty good at deception and is very willing to make use of that skill. his supports with timerra and pandreo also tell us he’s gotten used to keeping up a specially crafted persona meant to kind of suppress his feelings (that timerra and pandreo can see through but. like 1. theyre smart 2. sister and bff ok moving on). but he doesn’t do it out of malice or because he just likes being tricky, he lies because he loves. everything in fogado’s life is shaped by what he loves: his country, his friends, and his sister. every single motivation he has is fueled by this: the constant partying, how often he leaves the castle, all his acting. its even in his goddamn class name (cupido) and birthday (feb 14) if you needed the game to spell it out for you
so thats why when we get to the fell xenologue, the fogado we meet is changed in that one specific way: his love is gone. we know this because of a few things, the first of which is that he is honest. aside from the robe (in which he is assassinating someone! but also. lets be so honest with ourselves here. you can see his fucking face) he’s immediately upfront with his intentions: he wants the bracelets, he wants power, and he wants you to die. and thats it. he just kind of hands you that information, and then fucks off when you win. on what earth would our fogado do that? dude wouldnt even tell you if he broke his leg, he just partied a little hard last night. but thats just it isnt it? our fogado lies because he loves people, hes protecting them. fell!fogado is transparent because he’s not protecting anyone, he doesn’t care.
but the biggest kicker in fell!fogado’s lack of love is in his interaction with our timerra. our fogado loves his sister more than anything, as he literally plans his entire life around making HER life easier. he sacrifices even just spending time with her just because he needs to make sure hes fully prepared to keep her safe (not that timerra wants that for him but he doesnt really get that. which is another topic i could dive into but this post is long enough lets not make it a novel). fell!fogado though? well you see–
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any love fogado holds for his sister, or any love at all really, is just not present in fell!fogado. and you could say that maybe its just because of the corruption, but then why do we still see love between the fierenese and brodian siblings? even fell!timerra still loves her brother if her conversation with our fogado is anything to go off of. but the writers know that fogado lives and dies on his love for people, its his entire being and so much more so than the rest of the cast. which is why thats what had to change in him for the fell xenologue. it wasnt really just a flip of the switch haha murder thing (though. it could have been handled better. lets be real) but it was the loss of everything that makes fogado him. and i think the fact that this gets to be highlighted in the dlc just makes base game fogado all that much more interesting, because it cements his motivation now that we know what he's like without it. fogado is a guy driven by love and its just fucking great
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scattered-winter · 3 months
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sometimes i see a post and its like. hm. you actually care very little about the story or characters or plot at all bc all you want is for the token male twinks to kiss.
#i KNOW i know. tumblr. twink kissing website.#but still. genuinely.#my criteria for if i trust someone's takes on voltron are their opinions on allura and hunk. and ships other than klance.#and the non-romantic relationships also. that's a big main one actually.#has not led me astray yet.#like to clarify i LIKE klance ok. i am an enjoyer of them. but idk.....the way that theyre the Only thing anyone writes/cares about.#like yeah klance was done dirty but what about the characters of color. what about the disabled characters.#what about the platonic relationships. what about the familial relationships. what about the themes of war and genocide and imperialism.#what about the very real queerbait that happened right in front of us but everyone ignored#and whined about the fake made up queerbait that happened in their heads.#idk. people can engage with media however they want and its not a horrible world ending thing if they only view it thru the twinks kissing#but i dunno. viewing media with the shipping lens can blind you to all the other things.#AND I KNOW THE IRONY OF POINTING THIS OUT FOR *VOLTRON* OF ALL THINGS. I KNOWWW I KNOW I KNOW.#its not a problem that is exclusively this fandom either i see it everywhere. side eyes buddie fandom.#but idk man. im sick of not being able to find fic/art/meta that is focused on things other than the twinks kissing.#i think thats why im putting such a big focus on the other relationships in quintenary stars tbh. like there IS klance#or will be eventually but its just one of the relationships that will be happening. theyre found family theres siblings theres friends#theres the Themes and the Motifs and the storytelling devices. et cetera et cetera.#anyway this isnt really directed at anyone im just thinking out loud#winter speaks#voltron#anti klance#<- not really???? but i dont want ppl yelling at me so.
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ofcowardiceandkings · 2 months
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i would like to stop obsessing about the dumb thing where i was scolded a little for being distracted but its a tangible single thing my brainworms can latch onto instead of the many many other shit things in the background that are objectively way worse or scarier
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timeisacephalopod · 1 year
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Those like... Weird gun people I see mostly from the US who are utterly obsessed with owning a gun for "self defense" always going on and on about how they'll shoot anyone who basically even looks at them funny should just admit they don't care about self defense, what these people really want is to be able to shoot and kill someone and take pride in it while being revered as a hero for "defending" themselves or their family because yeah they obviously really, really want to kill people but since they know Murder is Bad they've invented a whole persona to justify their bizarre and disturbing murder fantasies that leaves them respected and heroic for killing someone.
Idk man those people freak me the hell out and are the last kind of person who should own guns in my opinion. Anyone that gung ho to kill people and see themselves as the "good guy" about it should not have access to weapons.
#winters ramblings#and they always cite killing someone over dumb shit like bding in their YARD. sure IS a good reason to KILL SOMEBODY#you think “”“”“”trespassing“”“”“ is a reason for MURDER??!? like im sorry but one of these crimes shouldnt even BE a crime and the other#is FUCKING MURDER WHY IN THE WORLD DO WE ACCEP THIS AS RATIONAL IT'S NOT ITS FUCKING DISTURBING#and its ALWAYS gun nuts that say this shit. like sorry but you REALLY want to kill people and be considered a hero about it#thats not normal OR healthy you dont need a gun you need to do SOMETHING about your disturbing fantasies#of killing people and being held up as a beacon of HEROISM AND MORALITY. the fact that someone would INVENT#several scenarios in which they KILL SOMEONE and THEY end uo the morally superior one is so fucked#those people SHOULD NOT HAVE GUNS i cannot believe theres a whole country who thinks this is a debate#because HALF OF THEM ARE FANTASIZING ABOUT MURDERING PEOPLE AND BEING CALLED A MORALLY GREAT HERO ABOUT IT#like bruh your WHOLE attitude alone is a reason for gun control it is NOT normal to want to kill people this bad#and be the GOOD GUY in the scenario where you KILLED SOMEONE#this isnt to say self defense is bad either its just that wanting to kill people SO BAD you construct elaborate scenarios#where youre allegedly firced to kill someone just so YOU can be a hero is real fucked and i dont think the average person#who engages in self defense has this attitude. they just end up in a shit situation they arent FANTASIZING about being robbed#JUST so they can shoot and kill someone and praise themselves for it thats a whole different beast
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masckarlach · 6 months
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something something im not going to interact with ur discourse if you are being condescending
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xaymak · 10 months
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i think about asian link all the time. theyre asian to me like... "oh its not realistic theyre pale and blue eyed and blond" do u wanna know whats unrealistic. in the legend of zelda series thats fantasy/adventure. the way no ones just moved out of hyrule already just make a bridge and leave!!!! place keeps getting overrun!!! leave!!!!!!!!
#loz#once someone said i draw my links weird. they have such soft jaws. wide noses. angled eyes. what could it possibly be i wonder#things that drive me insane. balls to the walls apeshit#i still have a screenshot of that convo bc it was so nuts to me. its like i didnt periodically talk about it in the lu server w them#and my hcs kept getting hijacked by ppl talking about scottish westerner link hcs like thats nice! love u have ur hcs!! but cmon.#every single time. every? single time?#even in the lu au server when i was detailing out like hey this au is based on an explicitly set in japan game so like. theyre japanese#oh nooo theyre white and irish and scottish and welsh to you. congrats but now isnt the time to say that??#i think a lot of my lu experiences wouldve gone better if ppl were more. socialized#not in the neurotypical way of whatever that nonsense is but in the. yes showing engagement by relating ur own hcs is fine#but also express interest in what im saying instead of just taking over the convo to talk about ur own take only without acknowledging me#god. once i was like trans link! and someone came up and said thats an hc i dont like bc when canon not trans are trans my brain goes brr#the way they said it was so . ??. u come into My Channel in My Category for My AU and say#god bless their heart they were Trying i think. bc they did say they wanted to keep an open mind. but Really??????????#i dont always communicate the best either so i try not to be harsh or bitchy abt it. but man. man.#i got off topic again. theyre asian to me. theres no norway or germany in hyrule and probably not japan either so its a moot point but#theyre asian!! thanks.
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hecksupremechips · 1 year
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Girl help I keep thinking about freaking persona 4
#i have banned myself from engaging with any persona 4 related content (except for memes my sister sends me)#because yeah its genuinely deeply upsetting for me and i always feel like absolute shit#but aghhh for some reason my brain has been fixated on it this week thinking about all the offensive garbage it is#and i keep thinking of all the evidence i can gather definitively proving that the writing is sooooo homophobic/transphobic#which is a very easy thing to gather up and prove since its all over the damn place lol#but like im just so fixated on how awful the game is and how the fans are even worse and i have this urge to argue forever#something im sure a lot of yall can relate to#cuz god it hurts to be screaming at people that theyre hurting you and for them to just say no to you as if its up for debate#if this sounds dramatic cuz its Juat A Game liiiike no its not Just A Game this is about#my daily life requires me to argue my existence constantly and its the same for every other damn marginalized person out there#and idk if youre still gonna either ignore or deny that persona 4 isnt batshit insanely offensive then youre stupid#i dont have the patience to argue shit like this anymore because theres no way someone with a brain can deny shit like that#and quite frankly even well intentioned queer fans who try to make headcanons that either say fuck you to the game#or hcs that do nothing at all to challenge the bigotry in p4 are kinda annoying to me#cuz it hurts too much to play along like yeah id LOVE to just slap a rainbow on kanji and a trans guy badge on naoto#and call it a day and enjoy the game outside of it all but thats kinda impossible#when these two characters entire existence revolves around the bigotry and its done in a way that hurts like hell to see#its too real for me to enjoy even if i make positive ‘fuck you atlus’ fan art#yeah ughhhh whatever its just annoying cuz I’ve been doing a good job at blocking this game away from my life#cuz it brought nothing but anger to me but its just been something thats been stuck on me lately#and im really not sure what triggered this or why its been lingering so long like please stoppp#its really embarrassing to be having bad mental illness over a shitty bibleo game 🙄
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trans-xianxian · 2 years
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the instructor I'm working w at my new job is like fine as a person but I'm growing increasingly tired of working with her like this girl truly has no sense of urgency and it's so frustrating like there's a schedule for a reason queen!! we have to be places on time and it takes six year olds like 20 years to stand in a line and even longer for them to grab their stuff And stand in a line!!! she's also late like every day "because of traffic" and it's like okay then leave earlier!! and then during prep in the morning and clean up at the end of the day she just sort of like stands there looking at the schedule of the day/the next morning and it's like bro we/I have places to be can you help me complete tasks!!! and it's not even like she simply doesn't realize what time it is I'll be like okay there's ten minutes to check out we should probably start getting the kids ready to go and she's like yup :) and then doesn't do that at like Please girl we have to be places on time especially when parents are involved 😭
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snekdood · 6 months
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the only way i could be anonymous online at this point is if i deleted everything and stopped caring about my comic and gave up and stopped trying, and while that is tempting sometimes, im honestly just too dedicated to my characters and honestly myself and defending myself and my own dignity to do that.
#bitch im a big ol rock i aint goin nowhere lmao#i used to do that sometimes when i wanted a breather but theres no real point in doing that now#bc if i post my characters anywhere no doubt it'll somehow trail back to my abuser or their flying monkeys#and it'll all just come back to the same old bullshit of ppl stalking me and being really fuckin weird to me and pretending to be my friend#etc etc etc#like i understand at this point that they just kinda think they're this vigilantee justice warrior leading an army against a Great Evil#and im kinda over it all like its just really dumb and boring and they're so full of themselves for it and on their high horse about it all#and its why i suspect sometimes theres rwingers in their audience bc if i can provide all that evidence of them doing weird n fucked up#shit and im still ignored then that to me just tells me. they dont care. like they dont care if their fave acts hashtag problematic bc#they're weirdly loyal to them but then get all up in arms whenever i do anything even extremely mildly conceived as bad#its not about you guys actually being concerned about stopping someone bad. stop pretending. lmao. it never was#you wanna see what you can do with your collective power. you wanna see if its possible to drive me off the internet. like thats it#you dont care about the truth or any bloodshed or anything thats whatever to you as long as you can *feel* like you're doing something#well bitch get over it bc i already know thats what you're trying to do and its just gonna make me glue myself here#i repeat: im not stuck here with you. you're all stuck here with me.#either actually engage with my side of shit and try to understand me and where im coming from or fuck off w your b/w thinking asses.#bc ive been doing nothing but trying to be nuanced over here while yall keep trying to find ways to see me as satanhitler#but i understand that when yall dont have a scapegoat bad guy you get to rely on as a punching bag for your shitty life-#that you can pretend you're punching up when more than anything you're punching sideways or down-#then you dont get to feel like the Good Guy Hero like in All Your Favorite Shows Anymore#bc those shows dont deal w nuance do they? they find an enemy and get rid of him and thats it.#so why should you right? surely reality is like a cartoon. right?#and that maybe you're actually BEING the bad guy by punching down at a trans guy who lives in poverty#and let me guess... my abusers defending the rape of israelis rn too arent they? and yall wont think about that huh#just. any bad behavior they do goes over your heads. you'll defend anything they do to the end#but if i even make the slightest mistake its over.#i kinda think yall are just like... kiwifarm types? like thats what you remind me of....#i just dont believe you have any real convictions or moral framework. i kinna think you just like blood and i mean. given your fandom....#not very hard to feel that way.
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supahstarrr · 7 months
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i still cant even get over the fact that someone was so disappointed because they thought an artist they liked was "uplifting" a media by an artist/creator that has done morally questionable & wrong things and basically "supported" them... by this artist being critical to the media that problematic creator made? the artist was creating a redesign due to the criticisms they had towards the original design (like it being hard to animate), and the artist had expressed their dislike towards this problematic artist like a few times already.
i'm sorry but we truly do need to have more nuance when it comes to this whole "no matter how you're engaging with a media, you're supporting it" type of thing. it's like saying a person is supporting or uplifting a media by criticizing its bad writing or other bad & questionable aspects to it. in that way, you're giving exposure to the media but at the same time you are giving exposure to the bad aspects of a media. like come the fuck on now you can't be fucking with me right now.
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realbacchus · 2 years
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I think it's fascinating that people can write about being distinctly something, and then on top of that be an outsider. I'm reading a (fiction) book about a native Hawaiian family written by a non-native Hawaiian person who grow up there. I mean, I don't know, I'm white! I'm not making some sort of call on this and while the issues seem accurate to what I've heard from my uncle and friends - who are all native Hawaiians living in Hawaii - besides that I'm just like so unsure about the rest of this! It's fascinating knowing someone crafted this story and then with full confidence published it? Girl, I couldn't write a story about a white girl and I am one! Couldn't imagine writing a story rooted in something so serious and real, pull on religion/mythology, etc and then have it not be my own.
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arien-rey · 7 months
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Personal Trainer!Miguel x Reader
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cw: praise kink, slight breeding, semi public, lmk if theres any i missed!
summary: its another night at the gym with your personal trainer before things take an unexpected turn &lt;3
an: inspired by one of nymph’s posts she made a while ago😭 it never left meeee. btw if theres any grammatical errors ignore them its 3 AM and this came out no nowhere
wc: 1.1k
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“Yeah, just like that,” Miguel praises breathlessly as his thick hands glide effortlessly across your body, guiding you through another intense workout. His touch sends shivers down your spine, making you question every ounce of self-control you possess.
God, you don’t know how much longer you can take it. Every session with your new personal trainer, Miguel O'hara, has become more and more electrifying, fueling a fire in you that you can't ignore anymore. The chemistry between you two is undeniable, and the gym has suddenly transformed into a secret rendezvous where temptation hangs heavy in the air.
You often catch yourself stealing yearning looks at his sculpted physique, how his appreciable muscles shone with sweat under the synthetic gym lights, and how the veins in his forearms and hands were especially apparent because of his pump. The air is always heavy with desire and unspoken words—forbidden attractions that neither of you admit out loud. It became a dangerous game you played, toeing the line between professionalism and unspoken desires; It didn't help that you were always at the gym late at night when no one else was around either.
As the beads of sweat trail down your forehead, you can’t help but wonder if Miguel feels the same way. The intensity in his eyes and the subtle brushes of his hand against yours all fuel your fantasies. Yet you dare not make a move, worried about the consequences that may come crashing down.
That brings you to tonight, with Miguel’s rough hands wrapped around your waist as he adjusts your form for barbell squats. You take a deep breath as you settle into position, trying your best to ignore the shiver that goes up your spine.
“Perfect. Ready?” He asks, his forearms resting underneath your armpits and his body positioned right behind you to spot you. His warm breath fanned the back of your neck, making you realize how close he is to you.
fuck…
"Yeah," you murmur, shaking yourself out of your thoughts.
“Atta girl.”
As you descend into your squat, you feel all your muscles engage and the weight of the barbells press against your shoulders. Miguel’s presence behind you is both comforting and very, very distracting, his strong hands serving as a reminder of his proximity.
With each repetition, you try to focus on maintaining the proper form, which becomes a struggle after your fifth squat with your thighs on fire and your mind lost in thought.
Finally, you try to push up from your sixth squat before you’re paralyzed, your legs unable to push up the weight. You groan quietly, and Miguel huffs.
“C’mon, you can do this. One more.” Miguel encourages, but when you begin to sink he’s quick to grab the metal bar and pull it off you effortlessly; putting it back in place. While he does this, you topple backwards slightly, and your body brushes against his.
You gasp quietly and your face flushes a deep red as your ass brushes against his crotch, where you feel a prominent bulge in his gym shorts.
Was it from you? the strain from his exercise earlier? You had no idea, but what you did know is that this was your last straw. Chills run up your spine, and the adrenaline rush from the workout gives you a burst of boldness. You’re so tired of trying to contain yourself from Miguel and finally decide to abandon your professionalism; besides, if things go wrong you can always just cancel your sessions and work out at a different gym. You step back and look up at Miguel’s towering figure, who was slightly taken aback by your sudden assertiveness. You see the surprise in his eyes as you place a hand on his strong chest.
“I think I’ve had enough for today,” you say, panting slightly. 
Miguel cocks a brow, a mix of confusion and curiosity dancing across his face. “You sure? We’re just getting started.”
A small smile plays at the corner of your lips. “Yeah.. But maybe we can continue something different?”
Miguel lets out a huff of amusement, his gaze intensifying and igniting a spark of anticipation between you two. He places a hand on his hip.
“Like what?”
You take a step closer to him with a sultry look in your eyes, your heart pounding.
“Do you always have this effect on your clients, Miguel?”
He smirks mischievously, catching onto your little act. “Only on the ones who tempt me beyond control.” He whispers back, and the admission hangs heavily between you.
With the gym empty, you don’t hesitate to get on your tippy toes and lean in to press your lips against his.
Miguel is quick to reciprocate, his hands flying to your waist as the kiss deepens. You gasp as you’re effortlessly lifted into the air and slung over his shoulder, unable to contain the giddy smile that crosses your face as he walks towards the locker rooms for more privacy.
══ஓ๑♡๑ஓ══
“Mierda,”
Miguel groans, his thick cock ramming up into your pussy. His hands gripped the flesh of your thighs tight while your back was pressed up against the chilly metal of the lockers. The sound of skin against skin and heavy breathing was the only thing echoing against the small walls.
your tight shorts and sports bra were discarded carelessly on the floor; along side Miguel’s black compression shirt and gym shorts.
“You’re so, so, so good, Miguel—shit—don’t stop, please!” You babble, your legs wrapping against his thick waist as he bullies your cunt with heavy thrusts, his cock covered in a thin layer of sheen from your cream that drips down his heavy balls.
“Feel good, baby? huh? You like it when I fuck you hard?”
Miguel pants, groaning when your walls tighten around him like a vice, suffocating his cock in your warmth. He lets out a dry chuckle. “Yeah, that's what I thought.”
You bite your lip, admiring how his big muscles flexed to keep you in the air and how his thrusts never slowed down. He was just so big and strong, and you couldn’t get enough of him. You don’t know how long you’ve been dreaming of this moment, and getting fucked by your personal trainer feels better than you could’ve ever imagined.
“how long have you waited for this,” Miguel hisses, and you look into his intense gaze, dazed, “waited for me to fuck you?”
“E-Ever since.. ever since our first session..” you whine shyly, and he lets out a breathless laugh. “dirty girl. since day one, huh?”
You mewl and wrap your arms around his thick neck for dear life before he leans down and spits a wad of spit onto your puffy clit. Hastily, he adjusts his grip on your thighs so he can use one hand to play roughly with the bundle of nerves.
You let out a girlish moan and arch into his touch, an overwhelming flood of pleasure running through your veins that makes your legs tremble. You tug roughly on his dark disheveled hair and he hisses in response.
“Mmm, be a good girl and cum on my cock, yeah?”
“Mhmm, ‘m gonna- I- f-fuck!”
Your eyebrows pinch together and your eyes are squeezed shut as you let the pleasure take over, and your white, hot orgasm quickly crashes over you.
Miguel groans loudly, his cock throbbing along with your spasming walls. His pace quickens and his thrusts become increasing shallow before moving the hand on your clit back onto your thigh to make sure you’re fully supported as he reaches ecstasy. He bottoms out in one rough thrust, his pelvis mushing into your sensitive clit and hips stilling as he spills hot white ropes of cum inside you, filling you nicely.
You both spend a few seconds in silence, panting heavily until he begins to soften and languidly pulls his cock out. You both watch as his cum slowly oozes out of your pussy and he sucks his teeth at the sight.
“That was amazing—you were amazing,” you pant, ogling at him with a giddy smile.
He lets out a deep breath and sets you down on a nearby bench gingerly before giving you a sheepish smirk.
“You too. You’ve always been my favorite client to work with, y’know?”
3K notes · View notes
ipegchangbin · 1 year
Text
— smudgeproof
sub!model!felix x dom!makeup artist!reader
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There’s a new lipstick that claims to be make-out-proof. You, with your makeup expertise, naturally decide to test it on your model boyfriend, Felix: except he’s the one that gets to wear it. 
🏷 gender neutral afab reader (they/them pronouns, no specifics), smut, fluff, some humor, established relationship, porn with barely any plot. 
🏷 petnames “mommy” and “baby girl,” unprotected sex, feminization kink, slight oral and hand fixation, marking, butt plug (felix using), thigh riding, fingering (felix receiving), overstimulation, male squirting, lots of teasing, voyeurism mention, no specifics about y/n’s physique. 
w/c: 8.8k
a/n: happy (hopefully not late) valentine’s day! to celebrate, i finally present to you the long overdue felix-gets-fucked fic! based on my thought piece, this concept has been on my mind ever since. i kept rewriting this fic but i drew the header art so fast LMAO icb i finished it!! otherwise, enjoy!
18+ only. minors do not interact.
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On slow days, you would often find yourself bored in the makeup store. Your boyfriend, Lee Felix, would probably be just as bored, sitting in the chair of his set. Your notifications were as empty as the barren shop.
After two aimless scrolls down your Instagram feed, you realized that you hadn’t posted anything recently and hadn’t texted Felix that day.
The afternoon sun brought in waves of humid air throughout the city, setting everyone back from a trip around the shops. You peered over at the conversation with your boyfriend as you thought about ways to kill time.
It wasn’t uncommon to go for a while without contacting each other. It had been years since you two became official, after all, and comfortable silence had become a given that you both simply indulged in. That didn’t take your mind off of the boredom, though, and your fingers itched to do something. They found Felix’s contact on your phone, bedazzled with an embarrassing nickname and profile picture. 
It stung to think that if you weren’t looking at his endearing profile, you would instead settle for some sort of creeping guilt of not posting anything on your social media page after a while. Either way, you shot him a message.
you: lix, wya? you: im bored as hell
Considering Felix’s work as a professional model, he would probably reply in less than ten minutes. You thought to turn your phone off and play with the freshly-cleaned makeup brushes on the makeup store’s vanity counter while waiting.
But this is Lee Felix, the sunshine of your days, and you didn’t have to wait any longer than two seconds.
lixie: Am at the shoot I told u about lixie: Bored too tbh LOL
Even if he typed in a silly way, you couldn’t help but love him.
He’d always been your go-to person to unwind and be yourself around. Starting as best friends gave you both a jumpstart to be comfortable around the other. People would say it worked a little too well especially since you two had become the most seriously unserious couple in the creative industry.
That fact made him understand you more than anyone else: you were both creatives. Your heart belonged to the artistic liberties of makeup and beauty, while his heart belonged to the ethereal realm of modeling and fashion. Your two hearts found each other, which was almost perfect for the adjacent businesses. He collaborated with you on makeup challenges. You came to his sets as his “preferred makeup artist.” He understood you whenever you ranted about stupid trends and declining engagement in your channels.
With that, could tell him about your uneventful day and equally uneventful social media pages, but you refrained from complaining more than dropping a passing mention.
you: idrk what to do there are no customers you: and i havent posted anything new you: but its not like theres much to do lixie: Well you’re the genius one here! lixie: Got art block or something?
The prompt response caught you off guard. Almost as if you have forgotten, this was Felix, and he always sensed whenever something was wrong.
As if he had some sort of radar or emotion detector, he always just knew how you were. Maybe it had to do with the fact that he had always been in the proximity of your face, observing your concentration as you put eyeliner on him before shooting. Maybe that connection stuck with him after years of being together, and it had remained strong to the point that he could feel it from miles away, staring emptily into the face of some other random MUA. 
Alas, you found yourself overthinking again. You would rather overthink about your relationship than your semi-abandoned creative efforts, though.
you: well i guess you can call it that. im just conscious since i havent really posted you: idk what to do next. ive done everything lixie: How about, “Boyfriend does my makeup drunk edition”? :D you: boring ! lixie: “Makeup tut but bf does my voiceover”? :D you: just because it got views doesnt mean its worth doing a fifth time >:(( lixie: I’m kidding LOL 
The scowl on your face reflected on the mirror sitting in front of you. You knew that if only Felix saw it right now, he would have lost his mind trying to turn it upside down.
You were right though. You two did everything.
My boyfriend does my makeup? Done, and he did an okay job at it. “The boy beat” makeup tutorial featuring Felix? Damn right he did. Boyfriend does my voiceover? It was so good that you guys did it four times and everyone fell in love with the deep timbre of his voice contrasted with his surprising amount of knowledge. Even if it was easy to collaborate with him, it was hard to create something new and unique. On the contrary, your audience fell in love with you two. It’s nice to watch a model and a stylist practice their art together.
Lost for ideas, you decided just to tease him instead.
lixie: So? No ideas in that pretty head? you: i got one thing in mind lixie: And what might that be? you: having you here you: in my arms you: to kiss up and call pretty :>
It was a thing that you usually did since you loved how he always reacted so pricelessly. He didn’t disappoint with his response, the notifications popping up not even half a minute after your last message.
lixie: HNDNSABNNDJS lixie: Don’t tease me unprompted!! lixie: ;__;
You’re so grateful that he’s always up to play with you.
You thought deeply — too deeply for a situation like this — and scanned the store shelves and storage room for ideas.
You wondered what he would be up to right now.
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Felix was stunned.
Done-up in the most expensive face and hairstyle he’s rocked to date, adorned with an unbuttoned suit jacket that one could only dream to wear, he was supposed to look like the stunner. His pecs were only barely hidden and the midsection of his upper body was almost entirely exposed.
Instead, he was the speechless one. He wasn’t shocked by the cold air seeping through his revealing outfit, but his hair raised at your messages.
Your teasing usually should not affect him this much, but today, it was something different. The whole day, all he could think about was you. His mind went to your first meeting. Earlier, he got deja vu as one of the stylists applied lipstick on him. It felt familiar, the feeling of a senior stylist’s hand resting on his face as a brush glided along the perimeter of his mouth. All it lacked was the stunning view of your face in particular. It reminded him of the first time you ever laid eyes on him, and it was to check on his eyeshadow. You stared at each other for too long, exchanged numbers after the shoot, and the rest was history.
He was pissed, to say the least, that you weren’t the assigned stylist for the shoot this time. Nothing could ever compare to the focused look you gave him as you fixed the corners of his mouth with the smooth swipe of your pinky finger.
He craved that touch again.
“Yo,” a dragged-out sigh whisked through the air. “You’ll catch a fly in your mouth if you keep that jaw open.”
Felix looked up from his phone to find Hyunjin, his best friend and one of the junior photographers on set, eyeing his reflection in the mirror. He had his bleached blond hair half-up, tied messily to complete his so-called “intern look.” Most of the senior directors and photographers on set confused him for a model.
“Am I interrupting some kinda internal monologue sesh?” Hyunjin smiled, leaning behind Felix’s chair, raising a brow at him through the reflection. 
“No, I just—”
“He’s thinking about Y/N again.” Jeongin, their other best friend, popped from behind the vanity, carrying Hyunjin’s abandoned camera. 
The two were interns at the studio. Both were very bored art students looking for a job to pass the time by. Jeongin was there to work as a personal assistant and was mistaken for a stylist considering his fashion sense. His behavior around set proved otherwise, though, since he spent the entire day prodding at everyone’s business.
Felix was no exception as a victim.
“Imagine flirting online,” Hyunjin chuckled while reaching for the camera. Jeongin handed it out to him, only to swing his arm back, teasing the older.
Jeongin dismissed the frown on Hyunjin’s face and fiddled with the camera. “Yeah, cut your significant other some slack, they must be busy at the store or something,” he added.
“Nah, they aren’t.”
Hyunjin snagged the camera back. “Editing a Youtube video?”
“That’s exactly why they messaged me. They asked for ideas for a new video.” Felix sat back and redirected his eyes back to the conversation on his phone. The other two slowly turned their heads to each other.
“Wow! Did you hear that, Innie? They messaged him!” Hyunjin yelped.
“Lix didn’t message first? Unheard of!” Jeongin gasped.
“Cut it out, overdramatic cunts.” The accent made the last word roll off Felix’s tongue in a heavy and aggressive accent. “I want to help them this once. Shoo. Leave me be.”
“Oh, why are you getting all worked up, man?” The younger placed his hands on Felix’s shoulders and wiggled them.
Actually — why was he getting all worked up? Everything seemed off: he wasn’t the type to get annoyed easily like that.
He would have defended himself, but he thought it over. Not only had he been unusually sentimental while getting ready, but even as the day started, he was already rolling off to a rough start. He barely got out of bed, reaching out to you from the side and asking for longer morning cuddles specifically from you. He had been so clingy all day that the silence and afternoon heat killed him from looking forward to anything else but you.
A discussion brewed between the menaces as Felix thought about it. “Innie, you know, he couldn’t even hit the poses right. The director felt bad because our bro didn’t seem into it.”
Felix’s cheeks flushed upon hearing that. “No way, Hyune,” the other replied.
Oh god, Felix thought.
He swatted embarrassing thoughts away from his head to not get teased any further by his own friends. His thoughts — and something else — were hindering him from doing anything physically. The poor boy couldn’t even shift in his seat from embarrassment. It’s not that he didn’t want to physically fidget, he just couldn’t. His entire body froze, but he also just could not move by any means. It would be uncomfortable for him, and it wasn’t just because the clothes restricted him.
Something underneath his clothes would shift too and pierce his body with shockwaves. Before that could, though, his phone vibrated before he did.
you: babe! you: had a breakthrough so big i said eureka out loud in the store [you sent a photo]
Felix immediately opened the notifications and observed the sent messages. He opened the photo even before it loaded. When it did, he nearly melted in his seat.
You supposedly sent him a picture of a product that you found. By the looks of it, you probably thought of doing a product review of it, but that wasn’t the first impression he got from the picture. The first thing he saw was your face, winking with a toothy grin, your beautiful hand holding the product up next to your cheek.
God, you were all sorts of stunning to him.
lixie: OMHJYGOD YOUre so pretty you: dont look at me, silly! you: look at this lipstick. its so funny
For a moment, he didn’t listen. His eyes were still fixated on everything from your expression, to your features, to the nails that you just got done holding up the product. As if he had gone stupid, he had to blink and shake his head before formulating a reply that made sense.
lixie: LMFAOOOO THE NAME you: its not the name baby lixie: WHAT SHADE COLOR IS THAT LMAOOO  you: the shade looks fine, look at the label! lixie: What’s it say you: the label claims its make-out proof lixie: ??!!! LOL
Of course, he didn’t make any sort of sense whatsoever. His two friends watched him frantically type away, barely being able to process anything from the mere sight of you.
“Bro’s deluded,” Jeongin whispered.
“Bro’s fucking horny,” Hyunjin commented, squinting at his friend.
you: you sound so funny baby you: anyway i was thinking i should review it you: but can you join me? i wanna try something
It felt like something broke inside of him. A shot of excitement ran through his system, hitting down until his core — oh shit that hurt.
He tried to twist his lower half again, fidgeting in his seat, but it grew harder for him to do so. With tears in his eyes, he jolted up, attempting to focus on the conversation.
lixie: Sure, what do you want me to do? lixie: Won’t you just do an application and wear test thing? you: mmm i guess u can say that you: but im making it a lil different lixie: How so?
The intrigue bit his tongue and Felix attempted to swallow it. The staff around him were wrapping up the shoot, pushing equipment back in their places, and some started to leave as soon as the director announced the last “cut.” He, however, was glued to the vanity chair, shaking in anticipation.
you: im gonna put it on you baby <3
Felix’s eyes widened.
It didn’t matter how many times you placed makeup on him, nor did it matter how many times he joined you in your antics. There were too many things going on in his head that toyed with his thought process and everything that came with it. He didn’t exactly know why, but a knot formed in his stomach. He grew nervous and just knew that you were up to something sinister.
lixie: But how are we gonna do the wear test? I already got my face done and half the day has passed, I’m even done w my part of the shoot you: you dont get it ??? lixie: I don’t get it!! you: ill put it on you when you get here. and were not just testing how long it wears regularly, were testing what the label says you: ill be there in 10mins love you baby
He sat back, looked up from his phone, and his gaze zeroed in on his reflection, attempting to focus on the thought. How would you conduct a different kind of wear test? In terms of makeup, a wear test would simply be to spend a full day with the product on and to see if it still holds its place at the end of it. It had already been well past afternoon by that time and it wasn’t like there were many other things to do that could budge the lipstick aside from dinner. He always trusted your genius, but he knew that there was more to this.
Felix blinked, once, twice, and then stared.
Were you…going to test if it was really make-out proof?
The world around him seemed to dim — it did, since the studio lights were turning off and the senior stylists urged Jeongin to wake the model up from his short-circuiting brain to change out of the clothes.
That is if Felix could still respond before the horniness consumed him.
lixie: Wait lixie: Don’t tell me lixie: DON’T TELL ME lixie: You’ll test it by putting it on me lixie: AND THEN MAKE OUT WITH ME?????? [Read 2:50 PM] lixie: Y/N!!! Answer me!!! [Delivered, unread 2:51 PM]
The cogs in his head accelerated before banging to a full stop, clinks and clanks ringing through his ears at his very slow realization.
“Congrats, smartypants, you figured it out.” Hyunjin scoffed from behind him.
“Dude—wait, hey! Have you been watching me the whole time?!”
“You should be more secretive,” Jeongin giggled. “Get those privacy screen protectors or something. Now we know what poor Y/N has to deal with every day.”
“And stop getting your thoughts tangled in horny next time you text,” Hyunjin elbowed the poor model boy, fiddling with his camera as if nothing happened. “Don’t worry. Your secrets and online PDA are safe with us.” 
Felix’s face was washed without color. His jaw hung open both at his friends’ antics and your devilish plans.
“I’m looking forward to that review,” Jeongin added before walking away, teasingly pushing Felix’s shoulder on the way out. “Not that I’ll use it or anything.”
The two friends left the set side-eyeing and giggling at Felix.
It wasn’t long before you pulled up to the studio to pick your boyfriend up.
“Hi, darling.” Felix’s greeting and nervous smile lit up the quiet air and darkness of your car. He got in the passenger seat and immediately leaned in to kiss your cheek.
He was trembling. 
You had to laugh. “Hey, babe. What’s got you shaken up?”
“Long day.”
“That’s it?” You raised an eyebrow.
“Long because of you,” he said, scrunching his nose. “Kept teasing me.”
“Aw, don’t sulk, silly.” You cooed at him, “Save the pout for later, baby. We’re going home.”
Maybe it was the combination of inhaling your expensive signature scent and hearing the sound of your voice again that made him tingle all over. Maybe it had to do with the curling corners of your mouth that gave Felix all the information he needed in the world. Maybe it was the fact that you held the back of his seat as the car reversed, and the action looked undeniably sexy. 
Felix lifted a leg to cross over the other, but it only ever made him look more uncomfortable throughout the entire car ride home. Though concerned, you didn’t point it out, and instead continued to drive.
His chest was heaving and he internally scolded himself for acting like a bitch in heat.
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The both of you arrived home sooner than expected.
The tunes that you played earlier in the car ride home stuck in Felix’s head. He wondered if the song choice of a sultry voice singing about “wants and needs” was deliberate. It was your playlist, and if you intended to include subliminal messaging, then it worked like a charm on him.
He had been worked out to the point he couldn’t face you. The moment he laid eyes on you again in your apartment’s living room, he shied away almost immediately.
You caught his averting gaze, though, and disallowed him from living it down. “Is there something on my face, baby?”
Baby. He could spend a lifetime just listening to you calling him that name. The way it sounded so natural coming from you made him melt. 
He also could not stop staring at your lips. You always wore a certain gloss no matter the occasion. Even if it was your signature, Felix couldn’t help but stare, and it didn’t make his situation any better. In fact, it got worse, and it felt like the straining in his pants could explode.
“Mm, ‘s nothing, Y/N.”
“You sure?” You prodded. “Your friends kept waving at me and they looked back at you earlier.”
“Ah, please don’t mind them.” He scoffed. “They were being cheeky cunts.”
“That’s a funny way to put it.”
“Anyway, how are we gonna do th-the…uh, the thing…?” Felix stammered, playing with his fingers instead of looking you in the eye.
“Oh, glad you mentioned it!” You hurriedly grabbed the three tiny boxes in your bag. “I got a bit excited over it. Look at this!”
There was nothing too remarkable about the boxes. They looked like basic products, but the huge bolded font on the product labels caught his eye. “It’s more of a stain or something. The label says it can survive five consecutive make-out sessions before a singular budge.”
“It’s…interesting, yeah.” Felix blinked. You chuckled, nodding at his reasonable reaction. “So…y-you’ll put that on me.”
“Yep.”
“And then we kiss.”
“Make-out,” you corrected. Your voice was clear and slightly stern, but the smile that formed on your face sent him in shivers.
The familiarity in your features contrasted with whatever stunts you were going to pull on him sent his head into a haze.
“Anything wrong with it?”
“No,” he shook his head.
“Lix, baby, just be clear with me.” You inched closer to him, bringing your hands to his plump freckle-spotted cheeks. “You don’t mind that I’ll record this and post it?”
“Of course, I don’t mind. I just…” Felix sighed.
“…Just curious, what are you planning to show in the video?”
“I’m gonna show the application, I’ll start by putting it on you.”
The heat rushed to Felix’s face as numerous thoughts clouded his mind as he visualized everything in his mind.
“We’re gonna kiss for a brief moment in the video, probably make out and do…whatever,” you winked shyly. “It’s only gonna be brief. Gotta keep it within community guidelines.”
One of your hands made its way down to his hip. You pulled him closer. His Adam’s apple bobbed in his throat from gulping back an otherwise embarrassing sound.
You had to wonder if he was hiding anything causing him discomfort there.
“You’re sure you’re okay?”
Felix bit his lip. “A hundred percent sure.”
“If you don’t want—”
“I want…it,” he whispered under his breath. “I want you.”
He flashed a weak smile. He was incredibly excited, but he was losing composure and he didn’t exactly know why.
He was about to melt in your hands but you held him up and adjusted your set-up for the video with an equally beautiful smile.
Three, two, one, action.
The camera rolled and you felt the familiar rush of adrenaline surge through you. Impressively, you thought you would have lost your spark at content creation, but posing in front of the ring light felt refreshing.
“It’s been a long time coming y’all,” you waved, “but I’m back! And guess who I’m with!”
Felix stared at the camera for a moment, his eyes flicking back to you for a split second. It was his cue to wave as well.
“Ah, hi, everyone!”
“Still handsome and meek as always,” you teased. “He still has a bit of makeup on since he came from a shoot.”
Your hand ran down the side of his neck. You felt the goosebumps rise from his skin.
“Anyway, today I’ll be starting a series of videos covering weird products and their weird claims. We’re starting strong with this funky new liquid lipstick from…B.Me Cosmetics.”
Taking the tube out of its package, you examined it and showed it to the phone camera. You swatched a shade on the back of your hand. Differing from a bullet lip, it had a liquid formula that boasted a unique, pseudo-gloss satin finish. 
“It claims to be smudge-proof, make-out-proof, everything-proof. Can last five rounds of kissin’ and smoochin’ I assume.” You said many things that Felix didn’t even dare to process.
Felix simply watched your hands delicately hold the product. His gaze was fixated on your nails, fingers, and everything about you that wasn’t the lipstick.
“But oh no no, I’m not testing it on myself. Well, kinda, but Lixie over here is gonna be my test subject.” You swung an arm over Felix, dragging him down to the height of the phone, showing everyone his nervous yet precious face. He eyed up at you with what seemed to be hearts in his pupils.
“Let’s first see how this goes on, hmm?”
You walked a bit away to grab two chairs: one was velvety and comfortable, while the other was taller and had regular cushions. The first was the same chair your clients usually sat on, and the second was your working chair. You urged him to sit down, patting the seat as a signal.
The moment he sat down, Felix started trembling. His knees looked like they were about to give in and his thighs took a moment to settle onto the velvet.
“Everything alright?” You whispered.
He wordlessly nodded back at you. Unknown to you, though, he bit back a noise. He didn’t mind the sharp pulsing pain when he finally got the courage to look up fully, of course with the guidance of your thumb and index finger propping up his chin.
It felt like handling a little kitten in your hands.
“Which shade, which shade…” You took the other bottles out of the bold box packaging and waved them out in front of Felix’s lips. It either would have been a rosy nude color, a deep red, or a bright cherry pinkish-red.
You tapped the tube of the last color against your boyfriend’s bottom lip, watching his cheeks pout slightly at the action. You quietly settled on the cherry color, to Felix’s apparent delight.
“Would you look at that?” You cupped his face with one hand, holding the lipstick on your free one. You faced him towards the camera, relishing in the sight of his cheeks puffing up in your palm. “Call me biased or whatever, but his lips are some of the prettiest I’d ever seen.”
Before he could indulge in the praise though, you urged him to open his mouth. He didn’t prepare for any of this and not your next course of action.
You slotted the bottle in between Felix’s teeth and kept it in place even after unscrewing the applicator off. He bit slightly and carefully to keep the bottle in place without damaging it. If he were a nervous wreck then, he became overly anxious now. You, however, in full focus, took the applicator of the liquid lipstick and slid it along his top lip. The cold sensation of the new foreign product on his mouth made him squirm slightly, though you held him firmly in place with your hand.
“So fitting that his lips are shaped like a heart. He’s so kissable.” You smooched the air while cleaning up the perimeter of his lips, teasing him.
Wished I kissed you right now, huh? Felix could hear that in your voice and he let it echo in his pretty little head. Alas, he couldn’t retaliate nor speak back at all. He couldn’t even dip his head in embarrassment. Your eyes were trained on the brush you flicked, almost dismissive of your own flirting and it mismatched the smirk that adorned your mouth after teasing.
It was the exact kind of look he’s seen many times before. The exact look he fell in love with when you first met.
It’s the look he would get off to almost every night.
You finished off applying the lipstick and it was impressively smooth. You took the bottle from his teeth and sighed. The color made his mouth look irresistibly edible. It would take you three marathons and a trip to the moon to admit that you were starting to feel just as affected as Felix by the sight of his pouty mouth.
“Rub those pretty lips for me, baby.”
Only you could say those words to him the way that you do. Felix felt multiple urges rummaging through his system at once. He could almost cry from wanting to say something, to call out your name, to moan it, to whine and whimper, and melt in your arms as if nobody were watching. 
The eyes of the world were on him, though, and all he could do was comply. He rubbed his lips together and pouted them out with a smack.
“Good job, baby.” You rubbed his chin with your thumb. He felt fire surging within his heart.
He knew that you knew what you were doing. It was only you, after all, who knew how to push his buttons in the right places. Unlike Hyunjin nor Jeongin, it took you no effort and no risks to leave him a mentally jumbled mess; not agitated, but certainly needy.
You were still sticking to a mental script, though. “How does it feel? Chalky? Rough? Sticky…?”
“I-It’s smooth. Feels thin.” He felt his tongue almost twist in his mouth from trying to speak when he was physically weakening over you.
“Seems like a good formula,” you giggled.
He watched as you turned your back on him, explaining bits of beauty jargon that he couldn’t even begin to comprehend. His vision seemed to blur as a need to satisfy the growing discomfort in his pants overwhelmed him. It all snapped away for a second when you switched the angle of your phone and pulled him up by his arms, leading him in front of the couch.
All of a sudden, you rubbed a circle around the base of his wrist. You looked up at him with eyes that demanded something from him. It was dark yet inviting as if he had just eyed down a wolf threatening to eat him whole.
The gesture was your signal that you wanted to fuck him then and there.
Felix finally didn’t have to keep to himself.
“Time to test how good it wears,” you smirked at him.
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Felix’s eyes were focused on yours. He didn’t move an inch as your fingers crawled from his jaw to his cheek. You glanced at your phone, propped up on the countertop, to check if it was recording. When you looked back, your eyes met Felix’s red lips.
You were so glad that you picked that shade. The makeup line released a ton of colors and your mind folded into itself when you realized how many there were. It was almost overwhelming to choose a shade for your boyfriend: you wanted to see him with a pinky nude on his lips, but you also thought the dark berry shade looked pretty.
As a trained makeup artist, you had a knack for figuring out which hues elevated which skin tones. Of all people, you knew Felix’s skin would match the slightly muted, pinkish cherry satin stain.
You should know this. You’ve seen his skin flush many times before, that would be more than enough to be familiar with the hues of his delicious skin.
You were the reason why he would constantly blush, after all. His skin would burn under your slightest touch, but it would flare up until his freckles darkened each time you held him down on your hips and called him pretty. His cheeks would turn as red as the tip of his cock every time you squeezed it lightly. 
Before you could think of any more, you tapped your boyfriend’s cheek. His face burned into a shade not far from the color of his lipstick.
“Are you sure you want to record this with me?” You asked, eyes scanning his face for second thoughts.
Felix almost forgot that you needed a clip of the both of you briefly kissing. He nodded after a second, confusion snapping into realization as you smiled at him. He seemed to be lost in thought, too: maybe he was nervous, maybe he was thinking of the same things you thought about. Either way, he simply answered with a smirk and the faintest giggle.
“Yeah. I’m game.”
You were on a mission to prove that this lip product could not budge after an intense make-out session. Now, you — and maybe Felix — wanted to see if it could survive intense sex, too.
All it took were two inches forward: you grabbed his hands dangling in front of you and closed in. Your noses touched each other, the skin bumping softly before your lips slotted against his in the smoothest kiss possible. To his surprise, you started gently. He expected you to crash against his mouth. He expected you to rummage through the product sitting on his mouth right away, to test its strength as a long-lasting piece of makeup, but you didn’t.
Maybe he wanted you to be rough. He wanted it.
You could tell by the whimper he choked up behind the kiss. That, and his hands roamed around your arms and sides, pulling you closer.
“Getting a little excited now, are we?” You purred, pulling your face away from his. He hesitated to break the kiss, inching his lips closer to yours even as you talked.
“Sorry, s-sorry. Got a little carried away.”
You wondered what got him to be so clingy and affectionate. You’re well aware of him being loving and tender, but it’s another thing to have him smitten while you’re doing nothing special.
Little did you know that to him, everything involving you is special. Even the texts you sent earlier and the ones you sent before. He couldn’t stop thinking about them; who wouldn’t, especially when you were being such a tease?
He finally pulled his head back. “Smooth,” he whispered.
You thought to tease him. “The lipstick?” 
“No,” Felix chuckled, “I meant you.”
Your hands traveled from up to his toned arms until one of them met the nape of his neck — his sensitive spot. You often called him a little kitten for enjoying being petted on that spot a little too much.
“So, did it rub off yet?” Your boyfriend managed to squeak, still affected by your antics.
His face was impossibly close to yours and you could feel the heat in his cheeks growing the more that he smiled at you. You stepped back to observe his face: apart from the blush on his cheeks, the lipstick was seemingly left unscathed. By the look on his face, he observed your lips, and there were no signs of product transferring. 
He also just wanted to kiss it again.
You raised an eyebrow at the camera and shrugged. “I guess it survived round one.”
“That was round one?” Felix mirrored the look you gave your phone. “I thought we call that first base.”
Your head whipped back to him. He simply smirked back, feigning an angel’s smile.
You’ve dated him for a long while, and while he had always been silly, he had never been this way in front of the camera. You wondered if the shoot he did — or the staff he was with — earlier had anything to do with a sudden ego boost.
“Now you’re bold, baby.”
The nickname caused Felix’s smirking eyes into wide ones, the excitement writing itself everywhere on his face.
“Just wanna do more with you,” he teased back. “Do more rounds, test how much removes.”
He puckered his lips and pouted. It was a juicy invitation that you couldn’t turn down. Instead, you took it with a kiss — a deep kiss, one that made you inhale and caught him off guard.
It was still gentle and velvety. It felt like you both tasted clouds and nothing was in between. The hand on the nape of his neck ran up to his hair and back down almost instinctively, making Felix shake. Unable to focus on both the sensation of a passionate kiss, an overwhelming urge to breathe and process the suddenness, and the general feeling of being petted, his hands swung to your chest and squeezed.
“Ah! Felix!” You whispered loudly against his mouth, almost moaning at the sensation.
“Sorry! Force of habit,” he said.
“Gotta keep it PG, baby, I’m posting this.” He nodded assuringly at your words but his hands were crucially still on your chest, threatening to squeeze again.
After realizing this, he immediately attempted to pull his hands back, an apology dripping on the tip of his tongue. Instead, you surprisingly threw your hands on his wrists, caging his hands in place.
If that didn’t surprise him enough, you leaned in close to his face and kissed him once more. It was fiery this time; he felt your tongue darting at him while your teeth nipped slightly at his bottom lip before you pulled away. He gasped louder than he should have.
You giggled at his shock and nuzzled your face on his neck. “Sorry. Reflex.”
“But mommy—” Felix froze, realizing what he had just said. He didn’t mean to say that.
All the cockiness he displayed earlier fizzled out into thin air. You could feel the heartbeat in his neck thumping against your lips. From his eyes fluttered shut to wide open ones, you could see the embarrassment wash over him.
Sure, you two were doing something intimate, kissing and groping in front of the camera. He knew and trusted you enough to edit it out, but the idea that footage would have existed of him calling you that nickname…scared him. The camera watched him, the microphone picked up his low voice, and on the off-chance that this moment makes the cut, thousands of people would have seen it. 
He’d gotten used to the idea that millions of people could pass by his face and body, but it’s different when he’s exposing a bit of himself that he only reserved for you — his “mommy.”
“Y/N… Shit, I’m so sorry, I-I didn’t—”
“Oh baby, it’s okay.” You gave a reassuring look and a warm smile, shifting your position to hide his face away from the phone camera.
The pet name was his suggestion. The idea that you could hold this title as his dominant partner was something he never thought of telling you at first, but the moment he mentioned it, you indulged immediately. It was something so dear, so sweet, and soft, definitely making you less of an ominous presence to him in bed and more like a warm home he can return to. You loved it even if he didn’t expect you to.
Even while he’s embarrassed and fully vulnerable, he felt so safe, entrusted to the only one in his life that could take the title without judgment. 
“Call me that as much as you want. I won’t show it,” you whispered. Felix nodded but you didn’t miss the tears threatening to form in his eyes.
“Mommy…” He inevitably gave up and dipped his head in the crook of your neck. You petted the back of his head again and kissed the side of his head, calming him with hushes and soft hums.
Before he could melt at your warm embrace, you took a few steps back. Felix whined and hoped to hug you for longer, only to watch you press the button on your phone to stop the recording. You shut the phone off, looked back at him, and smiled with your eyes.
He always valued your respect for his boundaries and the fact that you always made his comfort your top priority.
“We’re not done,” you inched closer, “the lipstick’s still on there.”
Because if you two were going to fuck comfortably, you two were still going to fuck.
Taking his arms and pulling them towards you, you prompted him to wrap himself around you as your lips crashed against his. You held him by his waist — it was remarkably small, toned, and muscled but definitely made for your hands to take it.
With force, you hugged his waist and carried him slightly, pushing you both on the couch. You sat on it while he was essentially hovering over your figure, his hips just above your lap.
“Mommy—g-god,” Felix gasped, muffled by another nudge of your mouth.
As if your brain switched off, your hands started going on their own. One was trained on his hip and the other snaked up his side and cupped his face, making him tremble at the sudden yet soft movements.
You were focused on the kiss but you just knew he looked gorgeous.
Of all the clients you put makeup on, your boyfriend always turned out the prettiest. Maybe it’s because his eyes seemed to shine with certain shadows on them. Maybe it’s the way his freckles peek through the base products. In this case, maybe it was the plumpness of his lips that you loved, covered in a flattering shade of red. Maybe that’s what was doing it for you.
“You’re so cute, baby,” you said, pausing the kiss.
Felix pouted. The pigment on his lips accentuated the curves of his mouth. “Not as cute as mommy.”
“Hm, thank you. But you’re my cute baby.”
Sometimes, you wonder how you got this to be so vulnerable, so whipped for you. It didn’t take him that long to warm up to you with this side of him, a side he so dearly hid from the rest of the world. It’s like this doll was made for you.
“Mommy,” Felix dragged out a whimper as he called you by the title. “Making me needy.”
“Don’t get impatient baby boy,” you whispered, a kiss on his temple following your sweet words.
While rolling your hips onto his, you thought about it what you said. You thought back to the last night he fell into this extremely submissive role. He’d always been the one under you and you’ve always been the one in control, but during that one night — similar to this one — he shyly asked you to call him a certain pet name. You loved it, probably more than he did, and you figured he might want to hear you say it again.
“Or are you my baby girl for tonight?”
“Mommy!” Felix scolded. If his cheeks were already flushed, his entire face heated up with a warmth that you simply indulged in. His ears and the corners of his eyes lit up with a blush tone that complimented and accentuated the cherry color that lined his shy smile.
He enjoyed the pet name too much, and he seemed to be threatened with memories of the same night the moment you said it.
“What? Don’t want to be my baby girl? It’s okay if you—”
“I’m mommy’s girl! Yeah, I’m their baby girl!”
Almost all traces of bass in Felix’s voice left the moment he squealed his response to you. 
His eyebrows were slanting upwards like a needy puppy, his eyes sparkled as beads of tears sat on his eyelashes, and he wiggled his hips onto yours with a neediness you’ve seen many times before. He briefly whimpered again in a high pitch. 
Being called that for the first time was as special to him as it was to you. It still landed him punches to the gut every time you said it. You would wonder why he loved it even if he was incredibly comfortable in his masculinity.
Maybe it made sense like that, considering he was wearing makeup while sitting on your lap.
You kissed him again and praised him until he gave into the burning sensations he felt from your overwhelmingly smooth graces around his body. With fast swipes, you pulled his plain shirt over his head, only to clothe him again with nothing but the warm embrace of your arms.
He moaned, writhed, and whined, adjusting his position on your lap until his legs were slotted against one of your thighs. Once he found his balance, he rutted against your leg, letting out a sound that he couldn’t resist.
“Didn’t even undress you yet, I still have pants on, and you’re already riding me?” You smiled widely at him. Felix huffed, unable to think, inhaling so that he wouldn’t drool on your shirt.
Or your chest, now that you abandoned your top in a flash, leaving it even harder for him to contain himself.
You took his lips into yours again, this time licking and biting his sweet mouth, allowing his tongue to slide against yours. It was messy and sloppy, just the way he needed it. You wondered if he had been craving this for so long and just couldn’t tell you.
Nevertheless, the next step was to take the bottoms off of your lower half and his own, but he paused your hands from reaching onto his crotch.
“W-Want mommy’s off first,” he sighed. It sounded more like a question now that his voice was so high and his tone was so soft. He was far from the boy whose mouth went foul over his own best friends at work.
His head was far gone, you figured.
Felix helped you pull your pants down, careful not to disrupt the current position that you were both in, only slightly lifting yourself off the couch. He sighed once he saw you, bare and beautiful, rid of anything that kept him from being horny the entire day.
He wanted you so bad.
“Baby girl, tell me,” it was your turn to pause his hands from reaching you.
“Is something bothering you?”
“No…not really a-a bother…” He pursed his lips.
He figured to rip the bandaid off and just show you the source of his discomfort—or, as it seems, the source of his pleasure.
“Baby girl, you…”
He revealed a pastel pink lacy fabric covering his private area. He was wearing panties.
“I…I got them from a PR package…from th-that one underwear company…” Felix justified, stuttering from both extreme embarrassment and arousal.
“It was supposed to be yours b-but I…liked it so much…a-and I wanted to…”
You couldn’t help but notice the drool threatening to fall from his tongue, glossing his lips. Distracted, you didn’t kiss him. You licked his mouth and bit his bottom lip again. The blood under his skin rushed to color his lips, emphasizing the pink-colored stain.
As you bit his lip, your fingers found the band of his panties, toying with the pink lace before slipping under it. The flesh — rather, his cock — was hard and pulsing. Felix moaned. His chest heaved from being unable to process everything at once.
“Baby girl’s clit is so hard for me already.” You pecked his cheek and let him whine. “You’ve been needy since earlier?”
“Y-Yeah, but, ‘m…not finished.” He mumbled under his breath. “Got more…to show you.”
He pulled his panties fully down, allowing his cock to bounce up. You couldn’t help but notice something at the base, but your suspicions were confirmed when he led one of your hands to touch his ass.
“You wore a butt plug the whole day?”
Felix’s face flushed into a shade similar, if not deeper than the cherry red he wore on his lips. At your words, he felt like crumpling into himself. 
“It’s just for you. Thought y-you’d like it.”
All you could do in response was kiss him deeply and thrust your thigh up, hitting the plug deeper into his ass.
He moaned deliciously into the kiss and almost cried at the contact. It fucked with him — literally — the entire day and you made it all the better. Only that he had so little time to adjust before you gave him a dark look again.
“Mommy, what are you—”
He was shut up by you licking his mouth and your fingers filling up his hole.
“Your cunt’s so fucking wet, baby girl.” Your words left your system through gritted teeth, filtering your animalistic desire to ruin him even more than ever. “This pussy is mine and only mine.”
You bit his lip once more, sucking on the plump flesh before abandoning it. “Bet your toys can’t satisfy you as I do.”
“They d-don’t, mommy!” Felix was on the verge of tears, choking back sobs as your teeth found his jaw, peppering it with love bites lining his natural contour.
You started pumping your fingers up and down his ass, hitting his prostate with your fingertips over and over. “Can only take me inside your cunt.”
“Ah, god—fuck, mommy!” The delirious sounds escaping him as he scrambled to hold onto your body kept you going.
As if he noticed, he started grinding into the air next to your entrance. You took this as his usual sign that he wanted to please you too. Felix valued mutual pleasure and craved it as much as he craved the sloppy crashing of mouths on a couch.
“Take me like a good girl.” Your voice softened as you cooed. “Can you do it? Ride mommy’s fingers while fucking into me?”
He could only nod frantically, allowing the drool in his mouth to drop onto his cock. 
The lipstick probably looked so messy by now.
You held his cock, lengthy and hard, and squeezed it in your free hand. “This is mommy’s to play with.” 
Shoving it into your entrance, you curled your fingers deep onto Felix’s prostate, eliciting loud moans from either of you. Felix could scream from the sudden warmth enveloping his cock.
“Rub your clit against me,” you demanded, urging him to thrust his cock immediately. He complied only to start whining and crying out from the stimulation.
You leaned your head to the side and exposed your neck. With a subtle nod of your head, you invited him to bite your neck before his next thrust. Lightning bolts entered you when his teeth sunk into your skin for some semblance of comfort.
In turn, you kissed and sucked a spot on Felix’s shoulder. The biting sensation made him squirm away from you, but his noises only amplified when you latched onto a more sensitive spot above his freckled collarbone. It didn’t help that your fingers were practically exiting and entering his hole completely, filling and emptying him at a speed he almost couldn’t take.
The stimulation from all ends of his body caught up to him, release rumbling from his core up to his cock. He begged and pleaded and called your name multiple times as you did too. Felix readied for release but shocked himself when it came suddenly, almost without warning.
He started gushing just outside your entrance, the relief surging through his hips in waves: it had never happened to him before, but the slight amusement on his fucked-out face sent you over the edge too.
You came at the same time, your wetness coating the sides of your thighs and the cushions of the couch, the pool of both your juices mixing right under you.
It had to take you both several minutes to an hour of downtime before you both got up to clean. During that time, Felix held you close, trapping you in a warm cuddle.
“Y/N, I love you,” he whispered, his deep voice returning, calming you from your high.
You pressed one more kiss on his lips. “I love you too, Felix.”
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Aftercare had to be a non-negotiable after the scene you guys painted all over the living room.
You made sure to offer Felix the softest bubble bath, massaging and soothing every inch of his skin, scrubbing away at the residue of the new lipstick.
You both found out, just before the bath, that it barely survived at all. It still stained his lips a shade of red, and the stains of love bites that he left on you stuck for a long while, but the actual product budged possibly within the third round of kisses. It barely held on when you started biting him.
The bedroom was full of giggles and the shuffling of your bodies cuddling close to calm yourselves down. Felix shared how he couldn’t believe his horniness that day, and you teased that he was being a hormonal girl.
He whined at that, kissed you good night, and fell asleep while huddled close to your chest. You calmly played with your phone, quickly editing the footage and clipping out the moment that he slipped into submission.
That was for your eyes only.
You posted the video and muted the notifications, kissed his forehead good night, and fell asleep.
“Baby, baby girl…” Your voice, although hoarse and deep from the blissful sleep, woke your boyfriend up. The clock on your bedside table flashed 9:00 AM in bright red, but the light from your phone shone brighter. “Look at this!”
“Holy…Y/N, oh my god!” Every trace of sleepiness left Felix as he jumped out of bed. “The video blew up?!”
You sat up next to him, chuckling in disbelief. “Let’s see what people are saying.”
“Why does the suggested search bar have…”
Men marked up. Men with hickeys. Men whining. It was clear that the video affected your audience in more ways than one.
“Silly,” you giggled, sinking into your boyfriend’s embrace. “Wonder how this thing got through community guidelines.”
Felix pointed at a comment. “Help. Someone’s asking about washing the stains off.”
The both of you cuddled closer. As the sunlight shone through your curtains and hit your figures, it highlighted Felix’s honey skin and the cherry stains that failed to wash off in the shower.
You turned your head to his and smirked. “Should we film an update video? What about a part 2?”
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special thanks to @meivida, my ride or die, the big brain that inspired me to write this in the first place! they also took time out of their day to proofread it ^_^
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