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destructive-path · 22 days

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Once More Into The Breach - ||.

🗡️ You aren’t fully convinced that the woman in front of you is the same person you met in the woods. The same Ellie that chased you, taunted you, and promised to take your life. No, this Ellie was someone else entirely.

! 18+MDNI !

contents include: reader is referred to as “woman” once, lowkey stockholm syndrome, choking…..swearing, nightmares, violence, blood, angst, tranquilizers, guns, cages, bossy!ellie, bratty!reader, gay people being gay. (tw!men🤢)

WC: ~6k

a/n - IM SORRY THIS TO ME FOREVER. this (and a lil of the next) chapter is inspired by/loosely based on an episode of the abc hit tv show lost. i hope you guys enjoy, and make sure to tune in for the final chapter coming idk when but hopefully not as long as it took me to get my shit together and write this one :,)

(thats where the SMUT comes in ;)) -ace xx

read pt. 1 here

divider creds! - @cafekitsune from the river to the sea

leafy green blades make up the perimeter of your field of view. in the center of your vision, a sort of blackhole pulses whilst being engulfed by the foliage of the forest. you’re running. floating? impossibly fast. directly towards the seemingly vast nothingness. however, you never reach it. you double your inhuman pace and yet, nothing. oblivion, just a few steps infront of you, then it streatches appearing miles away, then back again. merely meters from where you step. a fucked up kind of tunnel vision. the vast change causes a swelling that makes you sick. but you cant stop running because something is chasing you. right?

“ellie!”

a venemous taunting shout. yet, the name rings sweet. you know that name. how do you know that name? more importantly who does it belong to? questions for later. all that mattered in this moment was the will to continue sprinting whilst overcoming the increasing nausea you felt due to a flaw in your eyesight. your thoughts are disrupted again by the second shouting of that same name, dragging this time.

“ellllllllieeeeee.”

its much closer now. paces away. you dont hear foot steps behind you but you are sure of it. whoever or WHATever was calling out in the forest would catch up with you.

but you knew that. because it already happened.

“ellie.”

a whisper in your ear. scarily close. as if she was centimeters away. her voice tickles your skin sending a cold shock up your spine that has you shooting upright, clutching your chest in search of air that your terribly vivid nightmare had stolen from you and you cant help but scream the first thing you can. the only word you remember-

“ellie!”

over and over and over again.

your screams come to a halt when the door slams open. it happnens before you realize there is even a door there. before you realize you’re in a semi empty room, alive. before you realize its her. its ellie.

she has fury in her eyes, stomping towards your direction with an unparalleled intensity. leaving you with barely enough time to fully grasp her existence before her hands find their way around your throat. as they have many times before.

“shut. the. fuck. up.” her face is leveled with yours, inches away. eyes pierce into yours threatening an ulterior motive as your screams dwindle into a mere whimper of her name. reality isnt quite tangible yet. you stink of confusion and are unable to bring your self to complete silence, causing you to babble still. “ellie?ellie..llie…” you mumble quietly reaching out to grasp the womans body infront of you searching for something, anything to bring you back to reality.

her gaze softens. ellie had a thing for damsels in distress. “shhh-shhh im right here.” ellie coos and brings both her hands to your cheeks. she probably shouldn’t be doing this, reluctant to frighten you due to the fact that her initial intentions with you were to take your life. as well as the fact that she rendered you unconscious, knocking you out cold and into your current state. shaking and terrified.

but you find solace in her calloused fingers that graze your cheeks anyway. a simple gesture aiding in your need for relief. “ellie?” you question. you aren’t fully convinced that the woman in front of you is the same person you met in the woods. the same ellie that chased you, taunted you, and promised to take your life.

no, this ellie was someone else entirely. she holds your face as if its glass, staring at you as if you were a stray animal she was to rescue. “yes.” she replies softly, stroking your cheek with her thumb. “i- i dont-.” Its all coming back to you now. and you cant help but feel overwhelmed by the sudden shift in her behavior. an overwhelming difference in demeanor, causing you to feel a familiar kind of nausea that you felt due to the tunnel vision in your dream. “shhhhhhhh-” ellie smooths her thumb across your forehead coaxing you into silence. “-you need more sleep.”

“ellie…..” her name leaves your lips again and this time she grins. its a small plea. ellie knows you only chant her name like this out of pure delusion, body and mind not fully adjusted to your consciousness. it doesn’t matter to her though, you call her name like you needed her to keep you safe. that was something she hadn’t felt in a very long time. it was a feeling she missed, but didn’t know it until now. ellie missed playing protector.

ellies grin stretches a little further and an image of a much more evil smile flashes in your brain. it was hers. that shit eating grin from your last encounter in the woods when she looked at you with killer anticipation, ecstatic to hunt you for sport. fear fills your eyes.

“y-you...you were going to kill me…” both of your bodies remain in this confusing embrace. your body tenses, afraid that her plans hadn’t changed. in fact she seemed so determined to dispose of you the last time you laid eyes on her you were certain your fate would remain the same. so when you see her entire body fill with regret at your question, it takes your breath away for a moment.

ellies breath hitches and her head falls lower for a moment, shifting the soft red locks atop her head downwards, creating a curtain for her eyes to hide behind. but the green of them cant help but shine through as ellie peers up at you. she looks almost embarrassed now. a sort of sadness floods her eyes, and her brows furrow in search of the right words to say to you in this fragile state. you watch her struggle internally for a moment, slender fingers still cupping your cheeks. her gaze drops pathetically after failing to find a way to explain. “I was-“

you flinch slightly and begin to pull away but ellies grasp tightens. “but Im not going to anymore okay? i promise.” she shakes away her fringe and bores her eyes directly into yours, hoping praying you could see how much she meant what she promised. the intensity of her actions was too distracting for you to feel anything but a giant lump in your throat.

you can’t help but widen your eyes at the vulnerability you feel from her right now. why did she change her mind? was it something that happened while you were unconscious? it felt like something of a miracle that someone could have this big of a change of heart. “why?”

her eyes close followed by a deep sigh, hands retracting from your cheeks at your inquiry of her motives with you. silence fills the room as she formulates another impossible answer to your question. ellie anticipated that her future would soon be filled with complicated inquiries, all equally difficult to surrender a truth to.

you use this time to observe her complexion.

ellie was, to say the least. captivating. old scars, fresh cuts, tanned freckles, sunburn spots, cover her completely. a blanket of damage engulfing her yet somehow, in this moment, she was ethereal. under the blue- grey cloudy light emitting through the cabins curtains, it paints her skin a pale shade of purple. you wonder how it was possible for someone so tortured, so calculatedly evil could be so elegantly featured. so…soft. uh oh.

you can almost find comfort in the fact that ellie was definitely one to be desired, even though the current situation betwixt you two was undoubtedly toxic. just as you start to grasp her a little harder, ellie begins to separate her body from yours. unable to give you the answers you wanted she decides it probably best if she distances herself. “im sorry, Ill give you some space.” as she slips away from your grasp you realize space is the last thing you wanted. to your surprise you missed the feeling of the strangers hands on your cheeks.

“wait!” you exclaim weakly, just loud enough for her to hear. “stay?” the feeling of embarrassment overcomes you moderately. you couldn’t believe that you were giving in so easily to someone you didn’t know if you could fully trust. someone who was prepared to leave you for dead just hours before. to tell the truth, you had always been a sucker for a pretty face. at this point you were sure it would be the death of you. “please.” you sigh, giving in to your need for her to be close. ellies body relaxes at your request.

she steps close to you again, then raises her hand to its former spot on your cheek. ellies breath quivers as she lowers her head meeting your gaze in search of any reluctance to have her close. that evil cloak formally adorning her eyes had been shed. no longer did they sought out to bring you fear, but offer immense amounts of care. you were convinced those eyes could say a thousand different things in the blink of an eye.

after staring for a few seconds she notices with each passing moment how desperate you become. she could tell your request had purpose. everything in your eyes showed how scared you were to be left alone. so she grants your wish. how could she not? after everything ellie put you through…you were owed.

a tilt of her chin in an upwards motion directs you to move over in order to make room for the woman on the bed next to you. when ellies hand leave its place on your cheek you cant help but shiver at the cool breeze replacing the once comfortably radiant feeling her palm offered you. you awkwardly shift as much as you can before ellie lifts the covers and crawls under, sharing cover with you. its warm. “better?” her voice vibrates through the mattress and you sink into its comfort. despite it being old, it offers a perfect amount of firm and softness needed for you to drift to sleep. you hum as ellie brings the blanket up to your shoulders. she tucks you in and leaves nothing but your head poking out of the covers and watches carefully while you doze off. the warmth of the blanket and ellies rapidly growing body heat overcome you.

you chuckle at the thought of how comfortable you felt in this moment. snug as a bug next to the woman you were sure was going to take your life. “what?” you hear her ask above you, amused by your sleepy outburst of laughter. but you dont answer, instead you lull yourself to sleep, and you realize, that if you listen close enough…..if you held your own breath and focused realllyyyy hard. you could hear the rapid thumping of ellies heart next to you. beating almost twice as fast as yours.

….

day ?

am i crazy? is she crazy? god my head hurts.

ask ellie about WHY SHE WAS HUNTING YOU.

day 3

ellie says i cant leave. head still KILLS and sleeping is the only thing that helps. but when i sleep, i dream. she’s always there, ellie. the scary ellie. i wish she would let me go.

day 4

today was exhausting!!!! i got lost in the woods trying to hunt. stupid fucking clicker almost took me out but ellie saved my ass. i didn’t even know she was there. i think she was watching me????……sort of glad she was.

does this chick know how to have a conversation? she’s seems scared of me. kind of ironic……

day 6

ellie kept staring at me and scribbling in her journal? sketchbook? whatever. i think she was drawing me? i tried to ask but she gave me her usual

FUCK OFF

i may have teased her a little too hard

i saw an owl tonight. it was real close and stared at me for a while! ellie said she doesn’t like owls. who doesn’t like owls?

day 7

ELLIE IS A FUCKING

A S S H O L E

meany butt face

A S S H O L E

day 8

8 WHOLE DAYS. i need to get out of this fucking cabin. i found where i need to go. if ellie won’t let me, then ill have to find a way to go without her.

leaving here without ellie knowing is going to be harder than i thought.

day 9

i miss home

ellie knows how to make a mean canned ravioli. shes still an ass though.

day 10

ellie says we can go tomorrow! we are leaving this STUPID! FUCKIN! CABIN! im nervous to go back out in the forest but i feel safer with ellie around. she’s pretty good at this whole survival thing. i think that’s why she’s so hard to read sometimes. who knows the last time she let herself care for someone else instead of just looking out for her own ass. i can tell she is trying, but there hasn’t been a single day that’s passed where we haven’t fought about something big or small. ugh i wish she would just stand there, look pretty, and listen to me from time to time. but no. its always ellie knows best.

we will see how that flies outside of these shitty wooden walls.

day 13

i can’t feel my feet anymore. we have been walking for three days. the good news is that’s all i do. ellie insists on taking care of everything else. the hunting, cooking, scouting whatever. i think she likes it.

she can actually be funny when she’s not constantly acting like a hard ass.

on our first night out in the woods she snapped on me again. i was making too much noise and she thought choking me was the most effective way to shut me up. the woman has a thing for wrapping her hands around my neck. it worked. but it didn’t feel nice. she apologized, i could tell she really meant it. really actually regretted hurting the only decent company she’s had in years. shes been tolerable ever since then. almost sweet even, at night..we huddle for warmth. she swears its so we don’t get sick out here in the forest, but i think she sleeps better knowing im close.

day 14

today was perfect? me and ellie stumbled upon a waterfall and decided to leave the hiking alone for today. theres no rush to get anywhere anyways. we swam all day and when we got tired of that i watched ellie draw the falls in her journal/sketchbook

shes really good.

…

day 15

“ellie i know how to tie my shoes.”

“oh yeah? why do you trip every 10 minutes then?”

“i have flat feet.”

“oh fuck off.”

“cant. m’feet hurt ellie.”

ellie finishes her double knot on your right shoe mirroring the one she did on your left, then slaps the side of your foot and brings herself back to a standing position. you observe her handy work as she adjusts the pack on her back and shoots you a slightly embarrassed smile. ellie had made a habit out of babying you these last few days. “lets move you poor thing.”

and you two were back to walking. it was never ending. up hills, over rivers, down slippery slopes and rocky trails. night and day thats all there was. the only real obstacle in your way in this vast forest, endless and endless amounts of walking. you and ellie hadn’t encountered clickers, spores, even a wild animal or god forbid a-

“stop.”

ellies body freezes. each muscle straining in response to her cat like senses. you come to a halt at her command. “what-”

her body whips around in blink of an eye. her stance takes a quick sliding step in your direction, eyes blazen and afraid. a shivering pointer finger placed on her lips brings you to complete silence “shhhhh.”

her head nods indicating for you to mirror her actions. normally you would question her motives, how you hated being left in the dark. ellie had a habit of not clueing you in on what was going on around you. but in this moment you could see that whatever inquiry you had as to what prompted ellies stark change in behavior would do you no good.

so you obey her command. a quick raise of your own index finger to the plush of your parted lips and you hold your breath. ellie’s digit floats to the side of her head, tilting her fist so she’s pointing to her right ear. her mouth moves but there isnt an audible release. she over articulates a single word.

“listen.”

and everything is radio silence. suddenly the buzz of nature around you becomes muffled, almost as if you adjust your ears to seek out a different frequency. your eardrums are searching for something, a sound that would indicate a potentially troublesome scenario. why else would ellie make you tap into that specific sense?

then you hear it. louder than the wind, or the birds, the rustle of leaves. footsteps. human footsteps. the kind that are quick and sneaky, calculated. you hear them all around you.

you can’t help but remember, at one time in your life, the crunch of leaves under your feet during walks in autumn was a sound that brought you comfort. so satisfying. you always thought, the moment your foot came in contact with a perfectly crisp pile of leaves left in your wake. ripe for the stomping. now, that sound filled you with fear. crisp, calculated, creepy, crunching invading your ears. autumn would never be the same.

ellie can see you understand her motives when a look of terror seeps through your stare. “we are gonna have to ru-“

before a full sentence can leave your protectors lips. a whizzing sound zips through the air and falls flat, with a dart piercing ellies neck. her eyes roll into her head and her body goes limp, crashing onto the forest floor.

theres not enough time for you to scream before theres a sharp pain on your own jugular, and your own consciousness surrenders to black once more.

…

drip.

dr-

a cool splattering on your forehead prompts the slow opening of your eyes. fuckkkkk everything hurts. u groan in pain. a guttural ugly moan of despair. you felt as if you had been laying on bricks.

it takes a moment for your eyes to adjust, the first thing you notice is trees. vines, leaves blanketing your vision. theres something else though, something disrupting your ideal image of the sky. the heels of your palms rub into your eye sockets attempting to ease the blur. it works. but suddenly you feel much worse at what the betterment of your eyesight had to offer.

thick. black. steel bars. caging you in. every which way save the ground beneath you. you were literally, in a cage. sitting up takes more effort than it should. your hands smooth over the cool concrete bed underneath you in attempt to bend upright. then you realize this is no ordinary cage. might as well have been bricks you thought as you realized this was a cage designed not for humans, but for animals.

“never thought id be an attraction in a fucking zoo.”

thank god. THANK GOD. how you managed to avoid death twice was a miracle to you, even if you were in a cage. but to hear her voice? and be in one piece? “thank god, ellie? thought you were dead back there.” you squint in front of you, eyes not acclimated to the distance ahead of you. “sorry love, cant get rid of me that easy.”

cheeky, for someone in a very, unfortunate scenario. “been up long? seen anything?” you ask the woman hopeful for some answers, then her figure fades into view. her cage is the same as yours. overgrown and dirty, unfathomably uncomfortable. her shoulders drop and she shakes her head. “nah, been up for hours and nuthin’. im itching to see what these assholes look like.” her leg bounces up and down in an impatient- ticking sort of way.

i bet its been a minute since ellies had a real good fight.

“easy. they shot you with a tranquilizer dart from a pretty far distance ellie. we need to be smart about this.” ellie shoots you a distasteful look, one that reads; you dont think i can handle them? like she hadnt been the one taking care of you for two whole weeks. as if she didnt prove how good she was it this sort of thing from the moment you met her. ellie was ready to blow her fuse. “im only saying this cause i care-“ you state hoping to avoid conflict.

“-and i want us to live.” a scoff from the woman in the parallel cage. she breaks her death stare. “well ain’t you sweet.”

you can tell she’s still a little aggravated at your doubt, but you brush it off. ellie was as stubborn as they come. you had bigger things to sorry about than her fragile ego. the longer you two argued about nothing the worse your chances of leaving this cage got. you were eager for a taste of freedom. this prompted you stand on your makeshift concrete mattresses and attempt to scale the slippery rusted bars of your enclosure.

“stop it.” ellie says in a low, threatening tone. amused by her order, you cant help but scoff. this coming from the woman who was ready to throw hands with your mystery captors? as if. “make me, ellie.” it hits her ears like nails on a chalkboard. for once theres nothing she can do about your act of retaliation against her commands. your attitude triggers ellie to a stand and she quickly grips the bars of her own cage, squishing her face through the gaps, as if she was attempting to squeeze her way out. “i swear to god princess your gonna get us in fucking trouble. now get. down.” her body shakes as she strains her words.

nothing. you refuse to obey. your grateful for the barrier separating you two. at this moment your certain if ellie could have her way with you, her hands would be at your throat forcing you into submission. but right now? you were determined to save both your asses. even if it meant the auburn haired woman would be a complete and total cunt about the whole thing. watch you thought. watch me get us out of here and then you wont be ordering me around like a fucking baby.

“god damn-weren’t YOU the one talkin about being smart?” shes panicking now, running her fists through her hair in a fit of stress. ellie is pacing whilst watching how you maneuver your way up the slippery steel bars. if your captors didnt end up killing you for your attempt to escape, the impact of your skull on a stray rock or broken branch would. “prettyuh- good at climbing y’know…used tommph!.” a faulty grasp of your left hand slings half your body backwards. you catch yourself, and recover.

“jeeesus woman. just shut up and climb.” you smile a bit as you find your grip again. finally ellie was encouraging you, in her own way. you can hear her mumbling under her breath. “cmon..cmon..cmon…” the impatient ticking inside her returns tenfold. she bites her thumb-nail as her eyes are trained on your every move. each time your hand leaves its place on a bar ellie loses her breath. and can only exhale a shaky shallow release of oxygen when your hand secures is grip around the next pole.

this pattern goes on for two minutes. it felt like two hours to you both. ellie, bracing herself for you to fall. you, losing strength fast. but theres a sort of dent on one of the bars and you think its enough room for you to wiggle through. you think. you hope. “allllmosssttt…..got it!”

the little amount of strength you had left allowed you to hoist yourself up and through the steel bars of your cage. once most of your body is through you sit on the barred roof and catch your breath. “oh shit yea, baby!” ellies hand slaps the wall of her cage in celebration if your success. then she clears her throat at the accidental slip of her petname for you. ellie had called you many names, but baby? that was a first. she clears her throat and avoids eye contact with you. “careful coming down…”

you grin at her antics. ellie was obviously impressed, but she wouldnt say that. words werent exactly ellies strong suit. compliments left a sour taste on the womans tongue, it was hard for her to extend gratitude onto others. for whatever reason that was, was beyond you. luckily you had enough time to observe how she extended her appreciation in other ways over these past few weeks. ellie wouldn’t praise you verbally outright, but she had a wave of showing it. in her own way.

you make quick work of maneuvering over and off your cage in attempts to free ellie, a sigh of relief leaves both of your mouths when your feet hit the ground outside your cage with a thud. you brush off any remnants of grime on you and make your way to ellies cage. urgency was of utmost importance as of now, but you couldn’t help but slowly creep towards ellies cage. inching towards her like she was the wild animal they built the enclosure for.

“you gonna let me out?” ellie says is like she’s certain you will ditch her. her head bows in shame. i shouldve seen this coming, she thought. it wasnt until you heard the fear in her voice did you remember that this was an even opportunity you had. the ability to runaway from the trapped woman who had held you hostage long before you found yourself in the confines of your most previous resting place. you could leave it all behind now, leave ellie, now. how could you forget she was never apart of the plan? and so it was decided.

your back turns to ellie and you retreat 5 steps closer you the direction of your cage, towards the vast forest. you stop once you hit a pile of sizable rocks. sturdy enough to do damage, but small enough to hold in your hand. you bend at the knees to spare your back and pick up a rock that fits your standards and hold it firmly in your grasp. You watch as the skin on your fingers mold themselves around the muddy black stone, veins protruding as your grip tightens.

of course you couldn’t leave ellie. it had felt as if she was always there. like she was supposed to take this grueling journey to a save haven with you. and as much as you hated to say it, the woman knew how to survive. something in you thought maybe, just maybe you two were supposed to meet in the woods that stormy night. maybe ellie was meant to chase you, keep you, then show you the way to safety. maybe this thing between you two (whatever that was) was the key to both of your survival.

it was that moment that you realized, even though she did everything in her power to be tough, fierce, fast, clever….independent, that maybe ellie needed you, just as much as you needed her. so with one fell swoop of your arm, you hit the rusted latch with the compact sediment held tight in your palm, breaking the lock on your first try. “your like, kinda really fucking strong.” ellie says as she slowly opens the gate and watches as you heave from over exerting yourself. you drop the rock and scoff at the way she decided to phrase her remark.

“jesus-“ you grab ellies hand softly, in a grip thats so delicate because there was barely any strength left in your hands to make a full fist. “-shut up. cmon.” and as ellies own hand wraps itself around yours, you knew it was too good to be true. all of it. the ease of escaping, the warmth of her palm in yours. the skin. so when the back of a rifle came in contact with the side of ellies jaw not even two steps out of exiting her cage, you cant say you were surprised. shocked? yes. at the quickness of it all, and the blood.

her jaw unhinges to the left and her head spins to the side in the blink of an eye. blood spews from her lips, droplets flying so far to the side its enough to make you scream bloody murder. and you do. it’s milliseconds before your protector is on the ground due to the impact. you want so desperately to go to her, to make sure she was alright. but first things first.

you take a good quick look at ellies attacker and decide you had enough strength left to take him on. he was an older man, grey in all the places hair sprouted. (not that there was much of that going on anyway) he is wrinkly and sun scorched with a protruding gut. the kind of gut that was begging for your boot to kick it so hard that the old fuck would burst right then and there. you could take him, easy.

your body primed to pounce on the man but before you had the chance to let your fists fly yet another culprit in this fucked up kidnapping decided to rear its head. a tall blonde haired woman equipped with her very own rifle emerges into your peripheral, her gun is pointed directly at your head. “i wouldn’t.” your jaw tenses and your freeze.

ellie recovers from her injury inhumanly fast. her legs spring up and her jaw hangs open, maneuvering slightly to try and ease the throbbing pain the rifle left there. when she’s fully standing she spits blood directly into the ugly old man’s face. your heart rate picks up as you watch her wipe away the remaining blood oozing from the side of her lips with the back of her hands. ellie seethes. “you’re fucking dead.” and there it is.

gone is the ellie you had come to know over these past two weeks. it happens in a matter of moments. just as fast as the rifle collided with her jaw. just quick enough for the human eye to catch it. you watch as ellies soul leaves her body and all that remains is that empty shell of an evil, evil woman. and it scares you.

its almost as if she became superhuman. ellie takes not one punch, not two, but three full throttle swings from this full grown man, but nothing stops her charge. as a fourth hook was underway the relatively small target of a woman dodges it as swift as a bird then pacts a full impact punch to the old mans side. directly at his rib cage. you want to look away, the violence of it all stings your eyes. ellie isnt even ellie anymore, infact your sure in the state she is in pain isnt a factor for her at all. but every punch that lands on ellies body is like a stab to your heart. even if you were afraid of what she was capable of. especially right now, when the man had begun to get the upper hand on ellie making her fall flat to the earth.

“STOP!” you’re thrashing, screaming for the man to cease his assaults, but he doesn’t. infact it appears as every punch that followed pacts more force than the one before it. each time the mans fist retracts from ellies face more blood coats his knuckles, more of ellies blood. its a chilling sight. “please…youre going to kill her…” you’re sobbing now. the thud of each assault leaves a stain on your eardrums, but then you hear ellies laugh.

she heaves these unintelligible fucking giggles. menacing, drenched in mockery she is finding comedy? in this moment? life practically draining from her and shes filled with what can only be described as a humorous disposition. ellies chuckle starts off weak but builds the more hysterical she becomes. finally the man stops the fist flying.

“what the fuck…” the man groans, hes genuinely disturbed by ellies behavior, everyone is. its silent. theres the white noise of the forest, the birds, and ellies evil, delirious laugh. its terribly incoherent now, interrupted by the occasional hum to catch her breath. the girl had lost it. ellie was in a fit of her own delusions. the man tugs the top half of ellies limp body forward with a bunching of her clothes in his fist, directly under her neck. ellies laughter remains, her head bobs at the lack of support beneath her neck.

now this was an ugly man. the kind of man that gave you a bad feeling just by looking at him. the apocalypse had not been kind to his features. given his age you had deduced he must’ve seen alot in these trying times. right now however, the way his disturbingly unsettling face twists in shock as he observes her up close, you knew he had never seen anything quite like ellie. “this one’s lost it. not worth the trouble.” then he drops her back onto the muddy ground.

now you can breathe.

“get em cleaned up. and for christsakes make it snappy, linus wants them on rock duty.” then he was gone. that ugly, old, dirty, fucking- “get up.” before you could make sure ellie was okay the tall blonde had a stone grip on your warm and was pulling you in the opposite direction of the only thing that made you feel safe. you didnt care where they where taking you, whatever the hell “rock duty” meant, or what day it was. the only thing on your mind, was ellie.

unbeknownst to you, the only thing on ellies mind was the thing that constantly plagued her. the one thing that destroyed her time and time again. the thing that took away the ones she loved most. It ate and ate away at her until all that was left over was…

the only sign of life from ellie was her continuous mumbles of threat. you could hardly make out what she was saying as you were tugged away from her. you aren’t positive, but you could’ve swore you heard her say something along the lines of-

“gonna get you…”

“fucking dead….”

“……youre mine…..”

ellie had gone numb a long, long time ago. her taste for blood, revenge, the hunt….never really fully satiated. theres was no doubt that spending time with a group of raiders only made that craving worse. of course ellie didn’t want to become the thing she spent her whole life running from, but letting go of her wrongs felt so far out of reach for the poor woman. the more ellie tried to forget her past the more it haunted her, she became an amalgamation of regret and anger. ellie thought her brain was trying to tell her that was the life she deserved. this is what you’re best at, this is who you are.

so, as ellie lied in the muck mixed with her own blood, staring up at the breathtakingly blue sky, all she saw was red. im gonna kill every last one of these fucks. she thought of the most sadistic ways of getting back at the people who had brought her (you) here. even ones she has yet to lay eyes on. that didn’t matter to ellie though, she was going to rid the planet of yet another hoard parasites that tried to have its way with her life (your life). needless to say ellies immunity sometimes got to her head.

“get her up and hose her down, she lost the right to a real shower.” that was the last thing ellie heard before all the hurt she had tried so desperately to ignore finally consumed her. the last thing she heard before passing out due to the blood-loss and excruciating pain. ellie let herself succumb to the bloodlust fantasies hallucinations firing around her brain, and barely put up fight as her heavy lids sealed shut.

—————————————————————————-

a/n: ahhhhhhh i hope u enjoyed pls lmk what u think in the comments! (be nice) ayo why they always passing out tho ????? what do u think will happen next 👀 …..any inconsistencies u notice from pt1 to this are beyond me ! im sorry i literally took a 3 month break in btw chapters ! (not me going awol for 3 months and still depriving u of smut :/ crying i promise next chapter i WILL deliver) -xx ace

taglist: @dinaismyfavmilf @williamellieslilho @ikoinsblog @love-sugarr

comment if you would like to be tagged in pt. 3!

#ellie williams #the last of us #tlou2 #aces path #ellie the last of us #lesbian #tlou #ellie tlou #ellie x you #ellie x reader #ellie williams oneshot #williams ellie #ellie williams imagine #lesbian wlw #wlw #ellie williams fic

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himbos-hotline · 1 year

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Please tell me about the hairtie fic I wish for pain

OHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

its offically titled "Maybe this time, he'll stay" and it started as an idea that Jay and their parnters giving them things that people would see as trash. Like Hanger giving them beer bottle caps that Jay makes them into badges, adam gives him tabs off his monsters, wheeler gives them flowers that she can press into her scrapbook. And Kenny gives her a hairtie, something that seems so useless and kinda gross because its been in his mouth and in his hair and hes slept in it. But he puts in on and kisses her wrist and it goes from "he may need it" to "hes gonna stay because the band around my arm- its a promise that he'll return."

This makes place around kennys and hagners fued. Wheeler has a family emergency and isnt there, Cole gets injured pretty early on and thus hes gone. And then Kenny starts to change- slow at first and then its like a volcano errupting. Hes arguing with Adam more and their tagteam dissolves [much like what we see in AEW canon] Jay keep nursing a drunk hanger and waits up a night for kenny to return from seeing the bucks but he always comes back to their hotel room and curls up in bed and apologises and explains that he "doesnt feel like himself sometimes." and Jay nods and holds him while making sure that adams still breathing. They go on their own work- having to beat wheels for the ROH pure title [Im fucking around with the timeline so the BCC exists while the elite stuff is going on] so he can go help his family.

Jay keeps wearing the hairtie to the point shes not seen without it. Until the match where Kenny gives up with being adams caregiver and loosing because his heart isnt in the wrestling matches they have or theyre bickering and their relationship is falling apart with their tagteam. So he lets them fall and storms out of the arena. its just Jay and adam and she stays awake sitting on a chair by the window, watching the sky waiting for kenny to turn up to collect his stuff. He should be back, he promised that hed always come back. Jay paces around the hotel room, cleans the best she can without waking up hanger and its only when she goes to close the curtains because the sun is rising and its gonna hit his face does Jay spot the hairtie and suddenly all the meanings feels rotten and stale. So Jay takes off the hairtie and chucks it into the front of her suitcase

the mark on their arm seems to be implanted in his skin, likes someones taken a knife and carved sections of his arm off. and jay feels somewhat naked without it and suddenly in the silence of morning Jay feels empty and like shes fallen against concrete. So she just goes to curl up against her sleeping cowboy and when he wakes up its a day to wallow in the saddest that kennys left behind because the two of them are morning. Theres the potential of sad soft sex where its only for the two of them to be reminded that the other is still there, that the heat theyre feeling is real and so are they. Jay ventures out to get food cuz depression cannot win and everything makes them feel sick and jay just returns with crooked fruit that adam cuts up and the two of them share a plate of crooked, bruised fruits.

Its dark outside when Regal asks Jay to go train with him and Mox- even if its just running on a treadmill and Jay, after so much convincing, goes and when he and mox are changing together mox goes "wheres the hairtie?" And suddenly that gross feeling is back. Jay wants to retreat back to Adam and hold him, cling to him until the realness of him reminds Jay that shes not the only one hurting because she sees it when he looks at his eyes. This shared sadness between people who understand each other. But Jay cant run away so his reply is just "it broke. everythings broken."

her big brother nods and kinda goes "I dunno why you even wore a hairtie." Because jay had short hair. And jay kinda sits there for a little while while working out thinking about why. Why did they wear it? What did it mean? Was it just a hairtie to Kenny when it was this everlasting looping connection to Jay? Jay leaves training early leaving to smoke out back and wollow and feel gross and bad and suddenly one smoke isnt enough and wheeler notices the taste of smoke on her tongue when they go to kiss goodbye.

The anger turns into sadness cuz Jay really is alone and hanger and Kenny are fighting and jays in the middle and Kenny won't look st him when they pass in the corridor and they talk through the Bucks and there's nothing of normal in the polycule. And then one day he passes Kenny on the corridor and they make eye contact and his eyes are so blue and bright and it's so awkward and jay stays awake thinking bout how numb they feel. Everything; their friends, their partners everything that ever mattered to Jay suddenly is a weapon and can end. everything ends, everything dies, memento mori and remember that life doesnt matter so fuck everything and who cares if youre killing yourself slowly? Maybe then youll see a real angel.

Jay smokes more and it happens by accident. Cigarette ash lands on her legs and it leaves behind that perfect scattering of marks that looks golden and the pain feels good, feel true. And so Jay ends up putting out her cigaerettes against her shoulders or anywhere thats covered by her clothes and ring gear. Its her version of going out to the bar and drinking until ya head spins. Smoke pickled euphoria.

Jay gets angry at herself for smoking more and for hating the kenny that exists now and that anger manifests and mixes with their sadness and he starts to feel like hes weighed down JAy misses the kenny that they had and misses the softness in the way he used to treat hanger

Jay smokes more and gets a little grasp of happiness when familiar hands cover his eyes one day while in his ring gear and it's just "did you miss me sweetheart?" "Adam !!" Because Cole is back. And Jay gets so wrapped up in the joy of finally having a polycule member back. And he's mended and loved and Jay takes off their ring shirt

And Cole noticed the bruises and the burn marks and "love shouldn't burn jay." And so Cole becomes designated Jay looker afterer. They don't tell hangy about the burns and hanger doesn't question much why jay keeps his shirt and is quick to get dressed again. Or only shift and move from behind. The burns heal and jay kisses them both. And they're happy. They're home. Even if Cole follows her everywhere and hanger clings to them both when sleeping. Its a weird mournful sort of normal like family meeting at a fuenral. Theres some fluff smothered in now that Jay isnt able to wrestle since hes "gotten hurt" and jay slowly starts to seperate themselves from the adams because he feels bad for hurting when the two of them are- staying in their own seperate hotel room.

When Kenny signs the contract in blood, Hanger spends the night in the hospital and when Jay comes back to their hotel room kenny is standing there waiting for zem. Jay isnt happy to see him but also a part of her heart is- he pushes himself into Jays room and the two of them argue. To the point where Jay brings up Kota and "youre not golden kenny! you were never the golden one!" and kenny brings up and tears down everything about Jay its angry and angsty and jay lights a cig and kenny makes a joke and jay replies with "people should betrays their partners but here we fucking are,"

And then Kenny noticed that Jays hurt. Either from a match or training or maybe Jay punching the alleyway wall behind the dailys place. and Kenny takes her hand and kisses her bloodied knuckles and "oh baby girl-" "you don't get to call me that." And Kenny being the asshole he is it's "even when you hate me. You're still my baby." And jay grabs his shirt and pulls him close. They stare and jay breathes smoke against his lips and it makes Kenny cough and the gap between them gets smaller and insert angry sex here because the two of them are still partners and in the morning Jay wakes up alone.

theres an awkward conversation where Jay feels like theyve cheated on the adams and hanger explains that jays allowed to sleep with his boyfriend because Jay shouldnt be involved and thats where Jay and hanger sharing drinks comes from. hanger excuses himself form his own hotel room and finds kenny and argue that he cant do the shit he does with him to jay because "jay still thinks you love him!" and Kenny is awkwardly quiet because he does still love jay, but something, someone. a voice in his head told him to leave so he did. Jay doesnt seem intrested in him anymore because jay wasnt wearing the hairtie so clearly that means that the bond between them is broken- and its all kennys fault. But he cant tell hanger that so he just sits quietly and lets the cowboy yell until theres tears on his cheeks and he just goes "im going to the bar."

hanger wins the title, jay meets his folks and the two of them are happy for the first time in a while. Kenny gets better slowly on his own after taking time away and slowly repairing the relationships hes shattered. He apologises to the bucks for making them his errand boys and evetnually a weary and emotionally upset kenny bites the bullet and so he turns up on Jays hotelroom doorstep and the two of them have a conversation and kenny finally explains that he has "other people." in his head and Jay doesnt fully understand but they comfort each other and the two of them talk from the hearts and in the end Kenny falls asleep on jays bed and jay cant bare to part with the sudden warmth thats growing in her chest and so they lay down and the two of them sleep together and when Jay wakes up kenny is there still curled into his side.

The polycule has a conversation about what happened and kenny slowly settles back into his place there and theres a lot of pussyfooting and finally Kenny curls up behind the cowboy and plays with Jays hair and torments her about their love of storms and finally it rains and they all go outside and just lay in the grass feeling like moss is consuming them and finally theres normality. Wheeler comes back and his family emergency is fixed and fine and everythings healed up. And its one small warm night where Jay lays between kennys legs, dangles one hand over Cole's eyes, places his legs on Wheelers and listens to adam humming while he reads. Theyre all together and touching.

and

"Kenny tell me about your video game?" and hes a little aprehensive because Jay hasnt got the first clue about the games he plays but he turns off the punchy sounds, turns up the music and slowly settles into a rhythm while resting his controller/switch on the back of jays neck to pinn them against him and. "Hey kenny?" "hmm?" "welcome home."

#mouse has pals #shanie the toyaddict #FIC: the hairtie fic #FIC: maybe this time #OC: jay orton

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guideaus · 1 year

Text

That post mentioning apocalyptic media and someone mentioning hbo's tl*u actually reminds me though, with trigun I saw a post in the tag that said this

(i'm assuming this is abt tl*u hbo, since why would someone be talking abt this in 2023, otherwise) And absolutely no offense to the op, they probably just meant it as "what if they were happy together and choose to be with each other and die together", but its just kind of crazy that the other day i was lamenting that trigun stampede wasnt more diverse compared to a series that came out in the 90s, i even said she ra's reboot spoiled me, but other people seem to think what hbo did with tl*u concerning "rep" is... good?

trigun's main conflict arises from knives. its a sci-fi story where it went that route of humans had to leave earth due to ruining it in some way and they seek to colonize a new plant. knives learns humans created plants and didnt see them as equals, they tortured tesla, so he decides to try and damn humanity. his plan doesnt entirely work, and later the plants are used as an energy source, being the only thing keeping humans alive on a planet not originally meant to sustain them. there are a limited number of plants and no alternatives, leading to people constantly fighting over them to survive. knives uses this as an example people are bad, despite him being the one to cause these circumstances and the conflict on the planet. vash, our star, is his extreme opposite, constantly seeing the best in humanity, shouting love and peace, admiring acts of good will, and is staunchly against violence. wolfwood is constantly stuck between the two ideologies in multiple ways, he's good at heart, but keeps getting put in situations where he's forced to do bad things until he breaks free.

in tl*u, bill is an american libertarian who survives the apocalypse and is a loner, hoarding goods, and booby trapping an entire town so he can survive. he is constantly paranoid for enemies, no matter who it is, and is actively against helping people. he had a partner named frank, who eventually got fed up and left due to his attitude and ends up killing himself while bill continues to bitterly live alone and tells the main character to get out of his town after begrudgingly helping him. the difference in hbo's adaptation is that they turned their relationship into a full fledged romance. bill finds frank in one of his traps and decides to make an exception and help him. frank gets close and they start a relationship. nothing changes about bill's attitude and way of life, though. the show creates a connection between bill and the main character joel by frank convincing them to meet up bc frank is tired of bill's behavior, and that's about the extent of their relationships outside each other. they exist like that for a long time. i think eventually raiders attack once, frank ends up getting sick, then bill decides to join him and they both kill themselves. the general response for this change from the original is positive, saying even if it was tragic, it was better because they had a whole romance before (even if he still kills himself in the end). here is a really good article discussing it better than i could, also mentioning the director being a zionist.

i think vash and wolfwood suddenly being like frank and bill would be flat out bad. myself and many others wish that the end of trigun felt happier, he starts out the series getting hunted down out of misunderstandings, his brother tries to enlist him in hating humanity, vash cant even hide away because he has to learn that knives is still killing people and the only one who could do anything about it is vash, and he has very few close relationships in the beginning. the end of trigun doesnt resolve those things, in fact it attempts to parallel the beginning framing it in an apparently resolved way, when you just cant accept it that way, vash still being on the run and w/o a strong support system isnt good, he also lost his new best friend and brother. Wolfwood also has people who imagine him not dying, his entire arc is thinking he's damned for his actions, and his final act is sacrificing himself for others. I can understand why people would imagine a happier version for these two, but i dont think what happens with bill and frank is it. Vash desperately wants to connect with people, wolfwood does as well, they're both charitable, friendly, and care about others, and that inherently conflicts with the "hermit actively warding people in need off his property while taking any remaining resources" thing going on.

I've complained about trigun stampede's lack of diversity, and even how trigun's manga seems to have diverse characters, but then said characters are almost exclusively antagonists, but i dont think this fantasy would exactly be a win, lol. I said its bad because it politically disagrees with their beliefs, but its bad in regards to "representation", too. I'm gonna pretend tristamp doesnt exist atm, bc thats a convo for a diff post, but i've thought about this a lot and the manga does have characters that are disabled, trans, women, etc., but they are just about entirely antagonists. Normally, I would say that's a red flag, and this might not be any better, but somehow i feel like the 90s-2000s type of character is better? just for this hypothetical au like tristamp did do what tl*u's reboot did, it feels very similar to disney's "here's our first ever gay character!" for the 20th time. the extreme focus on representation, not thinking about the characters themselves, and druckmann obviously has his own political agenda he's pushing, but it truly is just an evolved version that's full on pinkwashing.

nightow's characters werent perfect (in fact i firmly believe he did it almost in a fetishizing way, thinking these things made them cool without being serious about those specific aspects), but i'd vastly prefer that over pinkwashing. this is probably a lot to type up for some rando's post, but it does kinda suck that the internet seemingly overall thinks positively of that depiction. and not to also compare a completely unrelated thing, but a lot of chinese fiction will have lgbt characters be kind of "vague" and a lot of western fans will criticize it as if censorship and tokenism is the same thing? i dont think characters need to be explicitly romantic to trump everything else they do. i also dont know if fandom's obsession with shipping is relevant, but vash being surrounded by friends isnt exactly a bad outcome, either... i think that post did mention them possibly interacting with the orphanage again, but i think its kind of another example the general viewer for that ep just looked at frank and bill thriving and went "nice." instead of like... thinking abt what they were actually doing

#personal #not to be like 'random person's post was WRONG' but i do kind of feel like that episode set us back in a way FJSDJSK #this is less of a rant abt trigun and more hbo's tl*u. but just the fact im seeing it brought up w trigun im like. hm! these things have #nothing to do with each other haha...#and ik its probably an example of two media a person is currently consuming but the thought that this ep was like. historic #a more in depth rant could go on my other blog but yea. saw this in the trigun tag so.

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insertdisc5 · 3 years

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Hi!! I wanted to ask, in celebration of Deltarune CH. 2, do you have any updated thoughts and head canons about the game?? Like, y'know, similar to a previous ask about Kris in your Deltarune tag? Thanks!

thoughts on kris part 2 i guess???? (part 1 from ch1 here lol)

spoilers for deltarune like woah. this wont be kris focused just random thoughts on everything. thank you for giving me the opportunity to talk

not that many thoughts for this chapter tbh! EDIT LOL: this was a lie i have a lot of thoughts

-just in general i feel like the player isn't the only one controlling kris... like yes the player forced kris to do what happened in the snowgrave route but AT THE SAME TIME idk it feels like there's someone else too. just because of the terrifying voice i suppose. and also the jerky movement kris does every time they get their soul out? unless there's another reason for it... maybe getting your soul out means you walk weird lol

-BUT ALSO i feel like kris is 100% in control when they create fountains. idk it just makes sense kris would create them. to create another world, a better world, A WORLD WHERE THEIR BROTHER IS HERE PERHAPS? i do wonder why they get their soul out then though. i'm all for it sweetie! do whatever! i support you!

-(i am and will be playing deltarune with only kris' best interests in mind. i will not hurt anyone unless kris wants me to. dont worry my little meow meow im on your side! talk to me! no? okay ill stay under the sink its fine)

-speaking of asriel. SUMMER VACATION COLLEGE WHEN? SUMMER VACATION COLLEGE WHEN? SUMMER (starts crying) V-VACATION COLLEGE WHEN

-kris misses their brother so much it's so sad. if you make kris steal 5$ from asriel they take it "reluctantly"? talking to asriel online so often even alphys knows?? the google search?? GOING INTO ASRIEL'S GOOGLE SEARCH ROOM WITH THEIR EYES CLOSED BECAUSE THEY'RE CONVINCED THEY ALREADY KNOW WHATS IN THERE? THAT ONE IS LESS OF A MISSING THING BUT IM LIKE OH MY GOD

-the city walk with susie at the end makes it clear to me that kris really values susie's friendship... kris even sits with her if you spend long enough near the lake like aaaaah ;_;

-and even in snowgrave you spend your last acts with the final boss calling for your friends like YES there's a way bigger creepy aspect to this (kris as more of a Leader who Commands and commands their subjects to come) but still :'0 (and then noelle answers oh my god noelle im so sorry for the trauma)

-berdly. listen. listen. listen. liste

-berdly sucks but [berdly hurts his arm in the battle against queen if you don't save him because he doesnt want to hurt you] [berdly realizing smg's wrong in snowgrave and immediately taking steps to save noelle] berdly is my little crumb nugget. i will protect him.

-noelle. noelle. girlboss!

-like ooooh listen. hearing about the genocide path for undertale. made me go "that is SO COOL. i HAVE to experience it myself this is great. hehehe killing time" and like no regrets. i was fully enjoying the experience knowing i was an awful person. SNOWGRAVE THOUGH. i will never try this myself its too fucked up. casually grooming your childhood friend to murder people <3 and also acting like a weird stalker towards her <3 stockholm syndrome speedrun i will get all the info i can about this but i will never do this myself

-people remarking the kris/player>noelle relationship is similar to the relationship between player>chara in genocide path is like yes. chefs kiss. don't worry we just are making you stronger and everything will be fine "you made me kill my friend? and for what?" this is fine sweetie don't worry about it!!!!!!

-like the amount of details added to snowgrave, like if you equip noelle's watch she notices later? and her battle animations change as time goes on, she gets an ice shield and stops sighing in relief after battle? oh my god? oh my god.

-(berdly is not awake.) JUST KILL ME RIGHT HERE I HAVEN'T STOPPED THINKING ABOUT BERDLY NOT BEING AWAKE!!!!!

-also why didnt he turn into dust. so many possible reasons. is magic a thing in the normal world and perhaps no magic means no dust (theres graves). maybe he isnt dead. maybe hes braindead. maybe he'll come back. either way that boy is now in the closet big enough to put someone in

-also dess' name probably being december AND THATS WHY NOELLE LOST THE SPELLING BEE?!?!??! FUCK ME UP!!!!! JUST FUCK ME UP!!!!!!! OH MY GOD!!!!!!

-also so many good pixel art this chapter. too many? i didnt need pixel art of cardboard noelle falling on the statue. like thank you but please. please it hurts my game artist brain.

-the expressions in this chapter were also top notch. all the unsettling noelle expressions like (i fall over face first)

-i threw away the ball of junk (which i already tried in ch1) and this time the game was like "ARE YOU SURE BC THIS IS A BAD IDEA" and kris felt bitter :'( (it deletes all your items in the dark world)

-i uh fucked up and skipped the susie+noelle scene bc listen last time ralsei mentionned seeing what susie is doing we missed some PRIMO LORE. turns out it just makes you skip the scene and you dont get anything new. welp

-speaking of ralsei well you know. he exists. but im stuck on him going "i just wonder what being ralsei-like even is...?" ralsei my dude there's so much i could say about this. do you feel like you can't be ralsei-like because you feel like you have to be asriel-like

-but also that makes no sense bc susie hasnt even mentioned ralsei looks like asriel. and i cant imagine asriel being so meek. so WHAT GIVES

-ralsei as kris’ “i wish i was a monster just like my bro and family and i’d look like asriel but with red horns [THE HALLOWEEN COSTUME] and my name would be something cool like ralsei instead of a boring human name like kris and im sweet and cute because thats how i act with asriel because ASRIEL MADE ME” theory because that would be cute.

-ASRIEL GOING TO THE CHURCH TO CONFESS HIS "SINS" WHEN "SINS" AREN'T A THING IN THE ANGEL BELIEF LIKE I KNOW THIS INTERACTION WAS TREATED AS A JOKE BUT WHAT THE FUCK ASRIEL?

-kris definitely has a connection with the big red door in the city, judging by what the kids say they probably went there... i feel like this place's dark world will be the Final Dungeon you KNOW some shit happened there. also the sounds you hear when you go there is the phone dark world call's sound slowed down? AND AFTER SNOWGRAVE APPARENTLY YOU CANT HEAR IT ANYMORE? HUWAH?

-speaking of songs the songs were all so good, My Castle Town rules, the berdly snowgrave music is stuck in my head, flashback is uwah wuahah, Until Next Time is so good, AND ALSO A FRIEND NOTICED THE DARK WORLD CITY THEME IS JUST tHE SONG 74 (MOST NOTICEABLE WITH THE SNOWGRAVE VERSION)?????? WHAT DOES IT MEAN????? it might be just "hey its just reuse" BUT MR FOX YOU KNOW WE'RE GONNA READ INTO THIS IS NOELLE THE ONE SINGING IDK BRO!!!!!!!!!!

-asgore dreemurr fired from the force what happun!!!!! game theory is that asgore is related to dess' death/disappearance but eh who knows

-you start the chapter at lvl2 and get to lvl3 after the final boss, a friend mentioned this is probably because we destroyed a world and im :0

-to go back to kris it's still so interesting to figure out who they are based on how they act/people mention them. like kris shaking the ferris wheel car? yeah makes sense i can imagine a pranking kid do this. kris' dance? yeah thats a little silly but i can buy it. doing cool anime poses? well i dunno this doesnt line up PERFECTLY but sure. BUT EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENS IN SNOWGRAVE... especially >proceed like that is such a weird thing that i can't imagine them doing, but i can't completely see the "player" doing either (compare with going to sans -which kris doesnt know- and going "SANS!" because of course the player would know sans), like THATS one of the reasons i feel like there's someone else in there. the weird robotic merciless actions. if im going super meta it feels like there'd be someone else like writing the choices into existence for us to pick you know? gaster probably? god i need to read more gaster theories i completely sidestepped the gaster shit bc i wasnt interested. anyway just spitballing

-(looks at big shot guy) please dont make him the next tumblr guy i beg you

-obligatory "queen was great" mention if only because this part made me laugh a little bit too hard

that was a lot. thank you for letting me talk

#ask tag #deltarune #deltarune spoilers #snowgrave spoilers

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g0dtier · 3 years

Text

Ok look even i realize i cant make a post like that before elaborating so as someone who has an art degree, was groomed themselves and was raised by someone who worked with teenagers who were groomed specifically for 20 years, heres my take on why tumblrs mentality towards fiction (&real degeneracy) is wrong and what you can do to help victims

Im gonna leave out the whole "fiction = reality" shit because at this point everyone knows it doesnt, they just cherry pick where to believe it does. This is not a black and white issue. Fiction may bring up something that was already there, but since none of us are shooting celebs because of books or molesting animals cause furry shit exists, its safe to say theres a line. 1000s of teen boys idealize that one dipshit from fight club. 99% grow out of it. The few that dont were already fucked up and wouldve ended up blowing some shit up either way. No, ao3 is not normalizing pedophilia and you are in no way helping victims. Youre kind of being a detriment.

Pedophiles may use fiction to groom kids, but they did that before fandom existed as well. There is no big difference between using fiction of 2 teens vs fiction of 2 adults to groom a kid cause a pedophile will either say "youre so much more mature than these fictional kids" or "youre so mature for your age you might as well be an adult, i think this fictional adult couple really represents us" and the minor will still take it as a compliment because that is the point of the action. The reason the abusers can take advantage of them is because they want that validation, for reasons listed below. The form that validation comes in doesnt matter.

Tumblrs mentality is purely focused on outrage. Its about hating the perpetrators and pretending people who arent perpetrators actually are, not about helping the victims.

People here have a wrong idea of what a relationship between a minor & pedophile looks like & how they function. People forget that while to us normal people the minors come across as victims in a horrifying situation (which they are), to the minors themselves it doesnt look anything like that. The problem with many of these relationships is not that the minors dont know what theyre doing or are doing it against their will, the problem most of the time is that they, in their minds, are active participants who choose to do this.

Pedos often actively look for kids in fragile situations. No self esteem, bad home life, severe depression. These are the reasons kids want the validation i listed before. Theyre vulnerable to it because they dont get any of it anywhere else and here theres an adult figure just giving it to them.

The point of a grooming is to give the kid validation and make the kid rely on them. To make the kid believe that the adult is the only one who understands them. Its to put the responsibility of the abusers mental wellbeing on the kids' shoulders in the kids' head. And 99% of the time kids already have a close relationship with the abuser when it gets to that point because of aforementioned validation. They create codependency.

So you know what angrily screeching "pedophile!" at any adult interacting on any level with a teenager does? It gives the abuser a reason to call themselves the victim and itll give the minor, whos likely already reluctant to be open about something an abuser does making them uncomfortable because many of them already have low self esteem and dont trust their own judgment and are scared of the consequences (for example: losing what to them is the only person that understands them) even less likely to talk about it. Because regardless of what tumblr thinks, most of these kids do not realize theyre being abused until much later. Theyre not waiting for someone to give them an out.

And no, no matter how hard you try, youre never gonna convince teens that the person theyre talking to is abusing them. Almost every single victim talks about how they hate abusers but how theirs isnt one, adults included. Theyre just misunderstood, or lonely, or really didnt mean it like that. Teens arent gonna listen to randos on the internet trying to convince them the 23yo who "relies on them for help and who is only in love with them, a 15yo, because theyre just really special and cool" is an abuser. Teens are gonna do stuff behind the back of others and lie about it because teens have a really bad case of "dont tell me what to do" syndrome.

What you CAN do to help teens:

- vote for more funding to health care, specifically mental health care. I know everyone rags on cps but cps does not take away children for no reason and will ALWAYS strife to work it out with the parents by offering personal help if possible

- strife to create a safe space for teens to talk about their experiences. Demonizing any adult interacting with children, no matter how creepy it may seem to you or me, makes the victims more reluctant to come forward. Theyre abuse victims. Adult abuse victims dont respond well to "girl youre being abused leave him!!" either. They respond a lot better to "wow dont you think he shouldnt treat you like that? Dont you think your feelings matter and hes being unfair to you?". You need to demonize the actions, not the context of the relationship because teens have already decided the context itself is fine and its usually not what they have a problem with and they wont till theyre older, no matter how hard you try to convince them.

- giving teens safe spaces to learn/talk about sex and what is or isnt right in a relationship. Most pedophiles are not stable. Theyre often codependent or manipulative or overbearing. Teach kids how to recognize these signs and that theyre not ok.

What doesnt help teens:

- taking down ao3 or yelling that some horndog on twitter drew an adult character looking too young. Taboo fiction is not linked to actual degeneracy and doesnt normalize any of it and is not a more succesful tool to help groom kids than anything else. Pretending it is will make minors less likely to seek help tho because the fear of backlash as stated above.

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anime-pro-shitposter · 3 years

Text

I watched Ep 11/12 of shadow house and I have thoughts and Opinions: Spoilers ahead

I thought it finished airing but it didn’t so yay im not so late

Most thing I’m so happy about is the growth of kate.. I’m beyond delighted when i see that little child do things and search which is kind of ironic cuz we cant actually “see” her.. plus all of the other kids and how they have their own distinct personalities i just want the best for them seriously. just really i love them all and i want to hug everyone..

Now with the big stuff/ recap moment:

this scene caused me actual pain.. in this scene exactly it hit me how much growth kate went through.. kate completely understands emilico now and loves her for who she is.. she is trying to find balance and meaning in her very confusing world and what she really wanted is a friend and someone to lift her up not a servant because she is complete on her own.. and thats what emilico taught her with offering her all the love and just PURE PURE KIDS

those two though are what i think gives more flavor to the show.. john is unlike all the other masters in my opinion.. it is true that everyone is different but john especially is there for a fun time and only fun time.. the idiot didnt notice that shaun is different until kate mentioned it and then in a split second started throwing hands. iconic behavior and attitude towards life. shaun is just shaun and he’s amazing.

and just the way that true genuine connection between the masters and their living dolls gets them back when poor emilico had to drink 5 liters of water😭

now to the Serious scary stuff:

this world is so intriguing im so interested in knowing more considering the 10810 things i dont know or mightve not caught but:

1- knowing that living dolls aren’t actually living dolls is still shocking even when i wasn’t convinced in the existence of living dolls in the first place honestly of how human emilico felt? she even kinda hinted at that before btw if i can remember.. ALSO HER REACTION OF ASKING FOR A MIRROR PURE BABY..

2- Watching It Unfold and How They Took the Children that was Terrifying to say the least cuz oh my god these shadows actually control everyone. i wonder tho the two who went to take them were they shadows and they can Not Shadowfy? themselves? or were they “living dolls” of their masters?

3- where did shadows even come from why did the grandfather know all this why did he make it? money? then why the power games? what are they ruling? idk its confusing but i will wait for explaining..

4- and this is the most interesting to me.. the way soot is being explored is AWEOSME! it can shape, it can control minds, it can even give life as implied!! it can make things!! it takes shapes and those shadow masters emit it! it goes away with water!! IT CAN CHANGE VOICES!! implying maybe controlling particles or sth??? idk?? just sooo interesting truthfully. is it like a huge power one wishes to take? can shadows choose not to be shadows? are they just soot? why is the word soot in japanese so adorable its susu or sth its so much fun… anyways i want to know more and hope to see how kate will practice cuz clearly louise did.

i want to talk more about this but ill wait for ep 13 and idk maybe rewatch the whole thing if i was curious enough..

5- edward gets on my nerves and not in a good way i wanna step on his shoes and maybe give him another suit cuz yellow isnt his color.. what is his objective i got very lost what privileges would he get in the 3rd floor? is he aware he’s human? what does a person close to the grandfather get??? u know!! anyways emilico is an idiot and this scene made me laugh she’s literally high on dopamine or sth..

also one more qu.. who in the fucks name are those two?

thank you for reading babes and cant wait for ep 13

#shadow house #shadow house anime #emilyko #emilico #shadowhouseR #kate and emilico #kate and emilyko #shadow house review

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barryjeanblues · 4 years

Text

taako meets death (again)

(also posted to my ao3)

taako has met two raven queens in his life before now.

well, close enough, at least. most - though not all - of the worlds the starblaster had traveled to had gods, and surprisingly enough, those gods were usually - though not always - strikingly similar to their homeworlds gods. (this was useful, because one of the crews number relied very heavily on a certain nature god for his magic. luckily, the nature or life god of each world always seemed to have a soft spot for little old merle, even if they werent merles traditional cloven-hoofed pan.)

twice, taako had met the death god - someone equivalent to faeruns raven queen.

this had led to taakos understandable trepidation upon kravitz finally putting his foot down and insisting taako meet his mother boss.

the first time taako had met a raven queen, she had been… overwhelming. the light of creation had fallen into a forest dedicated to her and her followers, and the head acolyte refused to give the wandering crew the light unless they first received permission from the queen.

the crew had agreed, with no other option, bracing themselves to firmly explain the direness of the situation. surely a goddess would be intelligent enough to understand.

that raven queen had burst into a forest cleaning in an explosion of black feathers, half illusion, half steel, so that when lup brushed the smoky feathers from her eyes they blurred and dissipated, but when magnus tried the same thing he yelped and brought his hand back bleeding.

that raven queens laughter had been eerie and echoing, almost but not quite mocking, almost but not quite infectious, almost but not quite joyous. the crew had stood firm and offered their argument, and the queen had given them tests and tokens and bargains and tricky promises with too many clauses and loopholes and at the end of it all the ipres numbers had been halved and the rest were weary and worn as they caught the light of creation and fled with only minutes to spare, the faelike laughter of death following them terribly even through the overwhelming cacophony of the hungers assault.

that laughter had trailed after them longer, if only in their heads. taako would be making stir fry, planning outfits, swapping merles shampoo for hair-loss potions, when hed have to sit down suddenly and breathe through the musical trills of the raven queens cruel pleasure. it had seemed to bounce in his head the way a rubber ball might, ricocheting off thoughts and feelings until it rolled under a couch to be forgotten about, till some slight movement sent it rolling and bouncing about once more.

davenport had died in an illusion, thinking he was saving his crew. poor merle had been choked by his own plants, betrayal writ across hos face. barrys skin had grown sickly purple with poison - ten to one odds arent very good odds. taako doesnt forget easily. he decides the goddess of death can go fuck herself.

the second raven queen taako had met much later in their journey, and taako had met her alone.

lup and barry had become liches a few cycles back. it was something taako had still been coming to terms with.

taako loves lup. this is an immutable fact of any and every universe. taako loves lup and lup loves taako and not death or memory or space can separate them, not for long. but seeing your sister die, and then… go beyond death, to twist herself and latch on to a chance that she may never return except in madness and spite - thats a hard thing to grasp, even when she succeeds. taako had still found himself shivering when his sister forgot she had a body again and grabbed a hot pan off the stove, crying out in pain. taako still woke sweating from nightmares in which his sister and his friend flew apart and reformed as cackling red robed horrors of insanity and cruelty, too far for him to reach.

until that cycle, though, barry and lups choice had only been an asset.

but some raven queens do not take kindly to anything they see as a perversion of their domain.

barely a week into that cycle, taako had awoken from the guilty non-elven pleasure of a nap only to find himself in some cold, hard court, fashioned seemingly of steel and silver and concrete, onyx lining the floor and the only color coming from sparse sapphires sparkled throughout the long echoing hall.

at the end of it - and taako had known his eyes must have played tricks on him, because at first the being at the end of the hall seemed, while large, not much larger than a giant, but when hed called a nervous greeting his voice had echoed so awfully he knew the hall stretched much farther than hed thought and the goddess at the end of it must have been unimaginably huge.

her eyes had glinted a flinty sapphire in her carven steel face when she ordered him to defend the existence of his sister and his sisters lover.

taako had tried. he truly, truly had. but while taako is a being of preservation and caution, full of intelligence and cleverness, he is not one of cold hard logic. perhaps lucretia could have convinced this raven queen, the only of their number who had ever been able to grasp true hard reason… but taako doubts it. he had doubted it then and he doubts it even more these days.

the point is, taako, for all his love for his family and his brilliant wit and devotion (probably, in fact, because of it) taakos arguments couldnt convince that raven queen. she saw past his genuine belief that lup and barry had made a good decision, and into his fears for her, and the goddess of death had based her own argument on those. she won. taako never had a chance.

he, lup, and barry had woken up in the next cycle, newly resurrected. taako never stops feeling guilty about it.

so. yes.

taako is more than a little nervous about meeting the goddess his boyfriend serves so devotedly. but, and youd be hard pressed to convince him to admit it, taako would do anything for kravitz. and despite it all he does actually want to see what the deal is with his sister and his best friends boss, and his patron gods… friend? lover? girlfriend? taako isnt quite sure what fate and death are to each other, but its definitely something.

kravitz lays a warm hand on taakos shoulder, but taako squares them up. he can do this, for fucks sake - hes died a shitton of times, he can meet death.

the doors open and taakos breath - the only breath in this realm of the dead - catches in his throat.

taako is a die hard istus fan, and shell always be his goddess. but if taako wasnt a taken elf, hed follow the raven queen, he realizes with a startle.

shes beautiful, yes. shes gorgeous, and taakos always been weak for beauty, but hers isnt the cold hard beauty of gemstones and gold, thinks his nimble fingers snatch up and hoard in his endless pockets. the raven queen is beautiful in a way that taako cant describe as anything other than simple.

he cant pin down any features. she has a kind face, gentle hands, bright eyes, but taako can tell she is a goddess because despite staying still the image of her flicks and shifts in his head. at once she seems to have every kind face hes ever seen, even if he doesnt recognize anyone. her hands reach out to comfort him - no more than comfort - but she stands without moving in front of taako and kravitz. her eyes glitter and sparkle and crinkle up with cheerful laughter, except taako isnt entirely sure she has eyes at all, or maybe she has too many.

he thinks… he thinks maybe she has wings, or maybe theyre arms, or maybe theyre black fabric, draped around and behind and below and above her, shifting with the last breaths of every mortal in the universe. its darkness but its not scary, taako realizes, its solacing, healing, the way that he feels when dusk passes to night and the sky is huge and warm and the brush of lups hand against his as she says goodbye for the night is a relief and a love.

hello, taako, death says. its lovely to meet you.

she means it, taako knows. he can tell, somehow. shes just happy to meet him. nothing more, nothing less.

'oh,' taako says aloud, and kravitz laughs his quiet sweet dorky laugh, and the raven queen laughs too, and its just that. its just a laugh, and its a nice one.

'oh indeed,' kravitz says. 'taako, did you really think id serve a monster or a cruel master?'

'well,' taako replies hesitantly, 'honestly, homie, i kind of thought you were, and id, like, have to start some quest to slay death itself and rescue you.'

the anthropomorphic personification of death laughs again, a note of delight in her tender voice. i like him, my kravitz, she says, good job.

kravitz does the dead-reaper equivalent of blushing. taako grins a little because its very cute.

'death is different here,' taako hums. 'its… it wasnt like this anywhere else i went. it was cold, or cruel, or empty. i dunno why its different in your world.'

'then i guess we're the lucky ones, huh?' kravitz asks. taako leans up against him and murmurs an agreement. 'its why i love my job so much, why it means so much to me. its not that im some hardass, i just…'

'yea, cha'boy gets it now,' assures taako. 'still.' he looks at the ever-shifting, ever-stable face of death again. 'you better treat my boy kravitz and my lady istus well, capiche? or we will have issues.'

its a deal, taako, the raven queen says, smiling.

when taako opens his eyes, hes in his home in the material plane, and kravitz is next to him, and theyre both smiling.

#this is unedited and also i wrote it at 4am #taako #kravitz #taakitz #the raven queen #taz balance #the adventure zone balance #fanfiction #death tw #trigger warning for death because it is a fic about the goddess of death #and also taako mentions some times that they died before story and song (so they dont count)#m text #fic #text #ask to tag #o shit yea and its lowkey lowkey inspired by gaimans death because i like the idea of a nice death

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devilangel657 · 4 years

Text

Story idea for obi wan but ANGST (no i do not have time to actually write this... Too many other unfinished fics. Anyone can take this as long as i can read it when ur done) also warning for obi wan not wanting to exist - as is erased from timeline/narrative. Everyone proves him wrong.

---

So after original trilogy people (in the afterlife/force. This all happens afterwards) subtly try to start blaming obi wan for not training anakin well enough to not fall. It doesnt really gain traction as it has been a while but the effects are really interesting to see.

Then sequel trilogy happens and then there are more people that try to find where everything went wrong and obi wan is a really good scapegoat. Because its obi wan and angst.

So obi wan is slowly pushed out of the groups and decides that if he was not involved (him not given to jedi, him not being born ect.) Then the world can be more, right? The republic wouldnt have fallen, qui gon could live, anakin wont fall, ect.

So he and the force (no the force doesnt work like that except it does now) have this thing so it is like time travel/'best world'/what if thing.

So the prequels 'start' and even before that as 'normal' but there are people that feel something is missing. Like a child was supposed to be there, a friend, a colleague, a jedi, a random person that you met, know and other stuff but when you turn there is no one there but an impression of red hair, a laugh, some sayings, a swish of a robe/lightsaber.

It goes as canon but obi wan is missing in life and memories - cant miss what you never know right? But the force and others know someone important is missing.

Then the clone wars happen. And clones (212th, 501st, others who met obi wan) and everyone is starting to notice a huge presence missing. Bc obi wan was a diplomat - then taught anakin while still going to them - and in clone wars was a celebrity, a mascot and high general as well as in charge or at least 1/3rd of the entire GAR (paperwork). Now this is even bigger of being exasperated of the general losing cloaks and his lightsaber and not going to sleep. But that isnt their general. There isnt a flirtatious jedi general with little sense.

So now the galaxy is now aware of what the jedi and few diplomatic mission planets are aware of - someone is supposed to be here yet is not.

Then this is where it gets crazy. Prequels and clone wars (and little rebels) are aware of someone missing.

See... Obi wan thought if everything went wrong bc he was there then it would be better if he wasnt, right? No one would notice if it was a better timeline.

Wrong.

So here it gets handwavey. The ppl from original and sequel (yes rebels at their prime + maybe rogue 1) trilogy all are here to put the missing one back into existence. No it doenst matter about how good or bad the future has gotten - this one important person is missing and needs to be here.

Jedi and others track down feelings and other things about what they know about this missing person with everyone chipping in and getting a picture about them.

Stuff happens and they find obi wan but have to convince him that he needs to exist in the world with them because he is a hole and the galaxy is less without him.

Obi wan is all how did you find me, why and they do not know him in this timeline. But they convince him even with him telling them about his timeline and they are all horrified and angry about how he was treated when they can feel this gaping ache from him missing.

So they gain memories of him and everything is restored. As if he never was gone. Except the few that were really close to him (several jedi (u decide who most likely plo and mace), his lineage, cody and rex, original main cast, sequel main cast) remember what he said as excuses for not existing and fix everything.

Main original and sequel trilogy remember a worse timeline and finding obi wan when they old enough. But the world is better bc of the prequel and clone wars teams taking down everything bad. No order 66, no anakin falling. Ect.

Also decide if obi wan remembers not existing before being put back, is faking not remembering or just doesnt remember until later.

So... Angsty fix it!

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rainecloud020604 · 4 years

Note

Hey,how many angel/demon ocs to you have? Could you please tell us about them,please? it's fine if not,i understand ❤️ ❤️ ❤️

alrighty take a seat and lemme start with my angel ocs uwu

Universo - so far my fave out of the angels- shush! guys been through a lot and honestly so far other than dealing with a target on his back he and Anthony are engaged now and currently taking care of both Penn and Daisy. (well i mean- guess its Daisy at the moment ROSE)

Damion - Universo’s older brother, kind hearted guy who messes with dreams, currently living with his father and mother along with his fiance, guy aint the fighting type like his brother. more of a healer than a fighter

Nicolas - a small warrior angel who spends a lot of his time running around the place hunting rogue angels and making sure they are removed of their wings, guy is very polite and is really kind and happy for someone who believes he lacks a real purpose.

Josiah - kind guy who used to be in a trio with Nicolas and Christine, nowadays he sticks with Christine out of fear of her turning on him like she did Nicolas, calling him a traitor and is after him. currently stressed and honestly just wants his friends to get along again, hes not really the violent type

Christine - hates, absolutely LOATHES Nicolas’ existence, she wants to cut off his wings for just leaving the group and going on his own, she thinks he’s helping the enemy and is up to something. She’s currently at risk of losing her own wings and doesnt believe it.

Elizabeth - a gal with a pure heart, ages and ages old. She has a whole bunch of small flaming rock creatures that she keeps close because of an old friend of hers is embodied in them, so she’s never alone, a motherly figure that once she sees you need help, good luck convincing her you dont really need it

Suisei - a blind angel, a certain demon gouged his eyes out and nowadays is terrified of everything, he’s scared of leaving heaven, but who knows, sometimes when you cant see you end up tripping, and falling...

Marrisa - she’s a rogue angel which constantly taunts Nicolas for not being able to do his job right, she still has her wings and goes in the angelic class, she was a guardian angel but....that all changed when she didnt do her job and allowed for someone to slaughter the family she was watching

demon oc time:”D

Lieutenant Hugs - mainly has a human appearance but in reality is a demon that appears to look like black essence, where her extra arms come from at times, she has abandonment issues, behind that smile and open arms is a lot more than sunshine and rainbows

Rainecloud - a staff wielding cat demon who honestly can kick ass! but recently retired as a mother so its rare to find her fighting like she used to, she used to go to other dimensions to fight because she liked it, used to be a heavy drinker as well, nowadays she likes to leave her past behind and keep her friends and family close

Rainie - Rainecloud’s other half so to say, an axe wielding psychopath who enjoys killing, finds it to be a game, very playful gal, a smile that never leaves and grows at the sight of a dead body, she honestly aint one known for showing mercy

Skye - Rainecloud’s sister, this lil pupper gal being sweet as can be and highly energetic and happy all the time, she is very sweet until you cross a boundary, then the sword comes out

Charles - he’s a bit of a hothead, honestly has a past he’d rather just let rot there, hates other demons, after being forced into a war, paying a high price for leaving it, its very clear why, nowadays he spends his days with his husband and daughter as a family, sometimes visits friends in other worlds, pretty rare though

Cheese - a gal who honestly has a personality made to drive you away, has so many wall built up, sold her soul for a complex revenge plan against some people and ended up being cheated out of it, it killing her best friend and the moment she spoke out against it she was turned into a demon, hates her home being inkwell, never wants to go back

Beat - friendly guy, a music demon who is found at bars and stage performances, just wanting to hear what he is tied to, his job is to well, drag people into hell when they play a certain song for too long...

Keith - absolute prick who smokes, past he likes to keep shut, can turn into a monster at the sight of blood, a best friend he pushed away a long time ago because something in him made him try and forget emotions, emotions make one weak you know?

Yami - a super hyper and sweet demon gal who honestly doesnt know what she is capable of, she is about 1′4′’ ands honestly the moment she decides your shoulder is comfortable good luck getting her off, she sticks to everything, super fast, super strong as well! she cant fly yet due to how underdeveloped her wings are at the moment but one day she might be able to, at the moment she is happy with Troy and Artsy, her family now.

Hallie - gals been through a lot, abusive mother, horrible treatment, luckily she’s away from that all now, happy that she’s free! happy she feels safe with Teekee.... smokes occasionally, always wears long sleeves, a kind and happy gal, a bit of a flirt with who she chooses

Trebble - daughter of the devil, sweet as can be and suffered a lot of abuse and neglect from her father, luckily being in a better place with her godfather Anomy whom she likes to call dad, lots of connections with people, kind of heat but you’d be surprised what she does in her free time, just what her dad does you know?

Alphie - this little guy being Tricia’s underboss is known for being that lives off of flesh, Tricia lets his dispose of the bodies and take care of special cases she doesnt handle herself. he honestly hates Rainie, they both have a small fued between each other and when it gets in the way of business it pisses Tricia off

Judith - a drug dealer who has a thing for murdering customers, she has a certain obsession with an ex and detective Milo who put her in prison at one point, unfortunately for Milo she isnt behind bars anymore and is back with her usual business.

Myrina - a formal demon warrior who currently fled home with her son Otoko and went to a place that would be safer for him instead of him being taken from her because he “held her back” according to some demons, she’ll do anything to protect her child so dont try anything.

Otoko - a small bab who is about a year old, bright and cheerful and just loves his mother

Riku - an earth demon tribe leader, currently at a young age and is responsible for leading his small and shrinking tribe. he luckily isnt stressed from is and has time to be a kid but with what is to happen soon, who knows how that could change him

of course there are the kinda demon i guess?? list;

Hood - half demon, basically a host, battling memory loss and fighting for control. she’s a vigilante who is talented as all hell with a bow and arrow, nimble and agile as can be. just back away when she loses control.

Lime - he aint aware that he’s part demon, his father was a demon, a guy who’s had it tough, hates authority with a passion. and interdimensional thief who has a thing for shinies

Rob - guy might have angel wings but i promise you those arent his. a demonic shapeshifter. a cross breed, the guy is really sweet and kind, unaware of what he used to be...luckily

Sketch - a demon mimic, gals got a tough past, abused to the point where she forgot how to feel emotions and lost the ability to feel touch and pain. nowadays just trying to find a goddamn job after she stopped working for a gang.

Tricia - a gang leader who absolutely lacks a heart in the slightest, no redeeming her, a huge dislike for children leading her to abandoning her own child and wanting to kill her niece Trebble. currently trying to get back her test subject Artsy and working with another being Sonya...

ocs that were mentioned but do not belong to me!

Anthony, Troy, Penn and Daisy - @flowerrose14

Anomy - @elementalgod-aj

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perseus-jacks · 4 years

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tagged by @syndullastars thank you !! ♡

on a scale of 1-10, how excited are you about life right now? I want to say 7, but its probably more like a 4.5

describe yourself in a hashtag? #i’llsleepwheni’mdead (#overlycaffinated applies too)

if you could do a love scene with anyone, who would it be? such a tough question... either Timothée chalamet or Gavin Leatherwood

if your life was a musical, what would the marquee say? biggest goofball in the town

what’s one thing people don’t know about you? that I care waaaaaay too much about what others think

what’s your wake up ritual? shower, brush teeth, wash face, get dressed, cook breakfast/make coffee and then read

what’s your go to bed ritual? pick out clothes for the morning, brush teeth, wash face, write agenda for the upcoming day

what’s your favorite time of day? I would say late at night, like at 2am when im the only one up and I can already hear birds chirping outside my window.

your go to for having a good laugh? YouTube videos (commentaries, reviews, and even my fave books as vines)

dream country to visit? Switzerland

what’s the biggest surprise you’ve ever had? my life isnt full of surprises, sadly. I guess when I was able to live and study in Oxford for two days (I honestly didnt know if I could, it was a mess)

heels or flats/sneakers? sneakers

vintage or new? vintage for sure

who do you want to write your obituary? my sister

style icon? a mix of Cher from clueless and Monica Geller, with a hint of my sister’s style ( I draw my inspo from many people ok)

what are three things you cannot live without? friends, my books, my laptop

what’s one ingredient you put in everything? sugar

what 3 people living or dead would you want to make dinner for? my mom, my sister, and oddly enough,, van Gough (it would be interesting to share a meal/convo with him)

what’s your biggest fear in life? failing / not living up to my family’s expectations of me

window or aisle seat? Aisle. I love day dreaming while looking out the window, but the aisle is a matter of convince

what’s your current tv obsession? Outer Banks, and I'm trying to get into Anne with an E too

favorite app? Spotify, it houses all my music, and thus, a source of happiness.

secret talent? I can quote every episode of Friends word for word

most adventurous thing you’ve ever done in your life? Spent my spring break in Spain

how would you define yourself in three words? perceptive, passionate, witty

favorite piece of clothing you own? My distressed Shawn Mendes tour T-shirt ( wear like 3 times a week)

a must have clothing item that everyone should have? a black turtle neck

a superpower you would want? telepathy/compulsion

what’s inspiring you in life right now? writers and storytellers

best piece of advice you’ve received? sometimes the best thing to do is take risks without fear of the consequences

best advice you’d give your teenage self? stop worrying so much about what others think and speak you mind always

a book everyone should read? Jane Eyre

what would you like to be remembered for? being a good friend

how do you define beauty? Beauty cant be defined. It's everywhere and in everyone.

what do you love most about your body? My eyes

best way to take a rest/decompress? lounging around and reading with a coffee in hand, or cruising with the windows down with my friends/fam

favorite place to view art? the Met in nyc

if your life was a song, what would the title be? Smile

if you could master one instrument, what would it be? guitar

if you had a tattoo, where would it be? a small crescent moon behind my ear or on the part of my hand that is in-between my thumb and index finger

dolphins or koalas? dolphins !!

what’s your spirit animal? an owl

best gift you’ve ever received? a pretty, vintage looking necklace

best gift you’ve given? I made a friendship timecapsule for my friend when she moved away, and every two weeks or so she would tell me how it cheered her up

what’s your favorite board game? monopoly

what’s your favorite color? cornflower blue

least favorite color? burnt orange (sorry Peeta)

diamond or pearls? diamonds

drugstore makeup or designer? drugstore, it does the job

pilates or yoga? hip-hop yoga

coffee or tea? coffee

what’s the weirdest word in the english language? canoodle, moot

dark chocolate or milk chocolate?both stairs or elevators? stairs, i hate elevators

summer or winter? both

you are stuck on an island, you can pick one food to eat forever without getting tired of it, what would you eat? just the thought of that makes me tired of every single food in existence lol

a dessert you don’t like? anything fancy

a skill you’re working on mastering? life drawing and general storyboarding stuff, for school and career purposes

best thing to happen to you today? the clone wars finale :((((

worst thing to happen to you today? also the clone wars finale :((((

best compliment you’ve ever received? a few of my friends have told me that i always know exactly what to say, and that makes me happy bc i try very hard to understand them and be what they need so i’m glad it pays off

favorite smell? pine trees and snow on the air, but also sunscreen and the sea

hugs or kisses? hugs

if you made a documentary, what would it be about? the evolution and highlights of reality tv; its fun to watch but has serious implications if you look closely enough

last piece of content you consumed that made you cry? Wall-E

lipstick or lipgloss? lipgloss

sweet or savory? sweet

girl crush? Jenna Coleman

how do you know you’re in love? i’ve only been in love once and it was a very fledgling thing but it was like, they’re always on your mind, seeing them is like a thunderclap to your heart, you want to be near them and laugh with them, you constantly wonder what they think of you (like the littlest thing), you care about how they see you, time with them feels like nothing and everything

a song you can listen to on repeat? Golden by Harry Styles + Dust Your Pocket by Glass Animals

if you could switch lives with someone for a day, who would it be? whoever is dating Gavin Leatherwood, I just want to know what thats like (even if its for a day)

what are you most excited for/about this time in your life? Im excited for law school actually and moving out west

this is long so i’ll just tag a few: @maxons @wizardra @vikingthors @oceanvs @thorne( feel free to ignore ofc ♡ )

#about me

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succuficial · 5 years

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Blink 182 starter plots !

starters based off some of my favourite blink songs because angsty teen punk music is the only way to plot

Voyeur - muse A lives next door to muse B, perfectly aware their bedroom windows are opposite each other. Muse a gets undressed for muse b, knowing that theyre a total geek, even though muse a is too popular to acknowledge them at school.

Emo - muse a has to sit and deal with muse b constantly getting back with someone who keeps cheating on them, muse a is in love with muse b.

Josie - honestly just a plot where muse a and muse b are in a totally cool fucking relationship, muse a is smart n going places but muse b still gets drunk and does stupid shit.

Aliens exist- OKAY SO, a plot where muse a and muse b find an alien. Sksks tell me it wouldnt be amazing, ones a skeptic the other is a believer.

Going away to college - a plot where muse a is going to college and muse b isnt, so its their last few months before they try to make it work long distance. Muse b starts to get a wandering eye because theyre scared of being alone when muse a leaves.

Online songs- muse a and muse b broke up, and now muse a is with someone else, muse b convinced its just a rebound wants them back. angsty arguments !!

First date - BLIND DATE, muse a is super nervous and its just cute.

The rock show - muse a and muse b meet at a punk show and muse a instantly falls in love with muse a's cool as fuck exterior

Reckless abandon - muse a and muse b are honestly just two dork best friends, no romantic interaction i just want a proper beavis and butthead moment

Shut up - muse a and muse b are in a totally shitty toxic relationship where all they do is argue about how uptight muse a is and how much of a layabout muse b is.

Please take me home - two best friends muse a and muse b decide they like each other and navigate through the awkward beginnings of best friends trying to be a couple, bonus points if they end up breaking up

Feeling this - muse a and muse b keep on finding each other in the same club, by mistake or accident, and always have one night stands. muse a and muse b start to get a crush on each other.

I miss you - muse a and muse b were together, and then muse a died. Muse b is completely distraught and doesnt know what to do with themselves. They start to see muse A's ghost, real or imagined.

Always - muse a and muse b are dating but its starting to sizzle out, knowing muse b is going to break up with them, muse a shows up drunk begging that they start over.

All of this - muse a has a partner, muse b is their friend. Muse a cant break up with their partner but are insanely and madly in love with muse b, who is clueless.

After midnight - sort of based on the music video, but muse a and muse b are both in hospital. Muse A is dying, but has hope, muse a and muse b fall in love and are constantly pissing about in the hospital every night, having wheelchair races, sneaking into the physio pool etc, maybe muse a starts to get more sick??

Snake charmer - muse a is a good lil angel, to everyone else, but when it comes to muse b theyre the farthest thing from innocent. Muse b cant tell anyone because nobody will believe them.

This is home - muse a and muse b sneak into an old building and vandalise it and both end up spending the night in jail in cells where they can talk and they end up making out through the bars. Punk af.

Even if she falls - muse a is cold, calculated, and wont allow themselves to have feelinge. Muse b is completely in love with them. Theyre close, and muse a cares about them, but she wouldnt admit it.

Pretty little girl - A CUTE RELATIONSHIP WHERE BOTH OF THEM HAVE ALL THEIR FIRSTS TOGETHER, nervous kissing and a first time and just sksksk

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negasonicimagines · 5 years

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TEAM (Part Two)

I forgot to mention that this fic is partially inspired by Lorde’s “Team,” hence the title. Kind of about how no matter how much you and the other characters here bicker, you’re all on each others’ team.

This is the second part to TEAM (Part One) [but I hope that’d be obvious] and therefore is inspired by the same request and has essentially the same trigger warnings.

“So, you and Ellie, huh? About time,” Logan remarks, and you feel yourself blush.

“No! It’s not like that! I mean, don’t get me wrong, I’d be the luckiest girl in the world, but, uh… No, it’s not like that.”

“Are you sure about that? I’ve seen the way you two are together. When she’s not looking at you or her phone, she’s watching everyone else like a hawk, like they’re threats. Honestly, Piotr’s worried about her.”

At the mention of Wade’s friend, you’re reminded of what Logan said before, about the thing that he knew that he shouldn’t tell her, the thing Wade also knew.

“What was that, anyway? The thing you knew that you didn’t know before that you would’ve told me if you had but couldn’t tell me?”

“I’m afraid that’s Wade’s business.”

“Great,” you remark. “So, I’ll never know.”

“Listen, kid, I know the stuff he said-”

“Screamed.”

“The stuff he screamed at you was pretty fucking awful. But… He had his reasons, okay? Being around him, being as close to him as you were was dangerous. It made you a target,” Logan explains.

“When will you people realize that I can’t die forever?! I’ve died plenty of times, and I always come back! Let me make my own decisions!”

“How many times have you died, Y/N?” Logan asks.

“It’s just… Hard not to starve when my mom kicks me out over school breaks, especially with the metabolism that comes with a healing factor. I can’t stay with Wade all the time, he has himself and Al to worry about. Muggers don’t like when you don’t have money. Mom doesn’t like me when I don’t have money. I don’t know, probably like eight or nine times.”

“You should’ve come here!” Logan scolds, and you want to curl in on yourself, just like before. “I’m sorry. He and I both know just how much dying can fuck you up, so, to hear you say that you’ve died.... And that you don’t care if you do? It’s concerning, to say the least.”

“Boo-hoo, Y/N’s crazy. Who isn’t?” you remark, annoyed at his concern. Men, they always think they know better.

He sighs. “Listen. You should just talk to him, I’m sure-”

“No,” you say, and it comes out as a whimper. The wound was still fresh. “I don’t want to.”

“Hey, he’s not gonna hurt you,” Logan reassures you. “He probably feels bad for what he said, and-”

“I said no,” you cut him off, but the sad tone in your voice doesn’t make you sound very convincing.

“And he’s not gonna apologize unless he thinks you wanna hear it. You know how Wade gets when he feels guilty, he doesn’t know how to deal with it.”

“Well, I don’t wanna hear an apology. I just want him to be my friend again, like before. That’s it. I don’t care to know why, or how, or whatever. I just miss my friend,” you admit, and Logan sighs.

“Okay...”

“Is it alright if I go? I wanna get started on my Chemistry homework.”

“Yeah,” Logan says. “Go ahead. See you next Wednesday. Or, sooner, if you need anything.”

You leave the gym, making your way to your dorm with your head down, when you bump into a familiar red-suited man.

“Sorry,” you squeak, not even able to meet the eyes of the mask, before attempting to go past him. He stops you, grabbing at your shoulder, but you flinch away. “Please d-don’t…”

“Y/N…” Wade murmurs, filled with remorse at his rampage. He’d made you scared of him, which means it worked, but he regrets how much it hurt you. “I’m not gonna hurt you.”

“You’re not, huh?” Ellie, swiftly approaching, asks. “Pretty sure you already did, Deadpool.”

“I just wanted-” he starts, but Ellie, your avenging angel, cuts him off.

“You just wanted what, huh? To terrorize them more, is that it?

“Terrorize? I-”

“You what? Didn’t? Because as someone who sleeps in the same room as Y/N, I can confirm that you did. They cry in their sleep like they did the day it happened. Did you know that, that you made them cry? I guess you do now. So, leave, before I decide I’m going to follow you out the door and blow you to Hell.”

“E-Ellie, I said not to hurt him,” you quietly tell her, and she clenches her fists, grumbling.

“You did?” Wade asks.

“Of course,” you respond meekly, tapping the tips of your fingers together and avoiding the gaze of everyone around you. and Ellie places an arm around you, glaring at Wade without mercy.

“I’m- I’m so sorry, Y/N. I- I just didn’t know what to do, so much was happening. I was so angry at the situation, so scared for your safety, and I took all that aggression out on you, the one person I should’ve been channeling those feelings into protecting, and I- I know I already said it, but I’m a blabbermouth with nothing else to say, so… I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry, kid. I know you probably don’t care, you just wanna start over and stay the hell away from me, but I’m sorry. And my door’s always open.”

“Thank you. I forgive you,” you nod, smiling a little, You’re already starting to feel better, more like yourself.

“You what?” Ellie questions, shaking with anger. “He hurt you. He shouldn’t ever be forgiven.”

“She’s right,” Wade agrees, head down.

“Well, it’s my forgiveness, and I can do whatever the hell I want with it,” you remind them, shrugging.

“There she is,” Wade says quietly, and you can somehow tell that he’s smiling. You don’t know if it’s body language, tone of voice, or what, but he’s smiling.

“I’m sorry for making you worry. I’m gonna keep living here, and I’m gonna keep taking better care of myself, so no one has to worry about me again,” you inform him.

“Wrong goal, but I appreciate the method. I don’t mind worrying about you, kid, but I’d rather worry about you not doing your homework than about the next time you’re gonna collapse on my porch, dead.”

“What?” Ellie wonders, and you groan. “Wait, have you died?”

“Goddammit, Wade,” you grumble. “She didn’t know that.”

“H-how?”

“Not important,” you tell her.

“No, it is, Y/N. You want all of us to get over the fact that you can die, but the truth is that you need to get over the fact that we care if you die,” Wade corrects you. There’s no malice in his tone, but the words themselves cause anxiety to slither out of the pit of your stomach like a snake and curl around your lungs and heart, maintining a tight grip.

“It’s because of you not eating or sleeping enough, isn’t it?” Ellie asks. “That’s what you guys were in that fight about the other morning, isn’t it?”

“Yeah,” you admit, and Ellie closes her eyes, taking a deep, shaky breath and trying to remain calm for your sake, for her own sake.

“Right,” she responds, sighing. “Well, I’m not letting that happen again.”

“Challenge accepted,” you chuckle, and she rolls her eyes.

“I was just on my way back to Photography. Forgot my camera. See you later.”

She makes her way in the direction of the classroom, disappearing around a corner.

“Man, if she didn’t hate me before, she sure does now,” Wade says, and you smile, shaking your head. “Really?” he asks.

“Photography is Mondays and Thursdays… And she didn’t even have her camera.”

Wade scoffs. “Well, she’s definitely taking good care of you. I always knew she would, one day. When did you two finally make it official? I’m sorry that I missed it.”

“We haven’t made anything official, Wade, she doesn’t like me like that. We’re just close friends.”

He rolls his eyes, going to playfully shove your shoulder, but you flinch away. He sighs.

“I’m sorry,” he says again. “I- I was so cruel, I just wanted to say whatever i could to get you away, to protect you, from m-”

“From what? The thing Logan keeps talking about?”

“What thing?” he asks, sounding a bit panicked.

“He keeps saying that there’s this thing he knows that he would’ve told me if he’d known before but he shouldn’t tell me now. It’s super weird, but he said you were going to tell me before you- You-” You stop yourself from continuing, still, shaking a little bit at the memory. It was only the day before yesterday.

“Yeah,” he responds quietly. “It was part of the reason I did that. I just- Us being friends was already dangerous, and you being- You- You’re- I- I’m so sorry I left you with her, if I’d known, if I’d known she was pregnant...I would’ve done the right thing! I’m not that kind of dirtbag, you’ve gotta believe me, and I’m just so, so sorry. Everything that’s wrong with your life, maybe it wouldn’t have happened if I’d just thought- If I’d just thought, but I was young, and stupid, and there’s nothing I can do now except own up to it, own up to the fact that I- I am- I’m- Oh, please…” He practically falls into you, wrapping his arms around your neck. You feel him shake with sobs, and you cry, too, but with a different emotion. Not regret, but happiness.

“You? You’re him?” you ask, and he readjusts himself, backing away from you.

“I’m sorry, I should’ve asked before hugging, I just didn’t think it was gonna be so hard, and you’re my best friend, and I- I don’t know, I don’t know. I’m so sorry that I’m your father.”

“You are? You’re sorry?” you ask, knowing that he’s apologizing because he regrets it, regrets you and your entire existence.

“Not in the way you’re thinking! You- You deserve so much better, I wanted so much better for you,” he reassures you, or, at least, attempts to.

“How do you even know?”

“I just… I talked to Xavier to see if he had any connections that could help me find your father, and he said he did, but he insisted that I give him a sample of my DNA to see if they match before he used his connections. I laughed it off, but then… it was a match.”

“How’d you get my DNA?” You wonder.

“Oh, I stuck a cotton swab in your mouth while you were sleeping. Wasn’t hard, you’re a really heavy sleeper,” he says, and you have a faint memory of the dream you had about a week ago where you were abducted by aliens that wanted to harvest your DNA to create genetically modified pet humans for their home planet. You laugh.

“So, you found out it was a match, and then… You were angry about it? Hated that the Wilson family legacy wasn’t going to end with you?”

“No. I was angry, yeah, but at myself. I was irresponsible, and my best friend in the whole world sufferred because of it. I never recognized your mom the times I’d seen her, and we had sex!”

“You had sex with my mom? Bro code violation alert!” you joke, and he chuckles bitterly.

“Right?” he responds. “But… I don’t even know where to go from here. Things can’t go back to normal, that’s not okay. I need to step up. And, even if it was the right thing to do, going back to normal… I get the feeling that you’re not gonna be that comfortable around me for a while. I was… I was just like my dad. My worst fucking fear.”

“You’re not him, okay? I promise.”

“I should be comforting you,” he says, stepping towards you. Out of renewed instinct, you step back. He’s heartbroken.

“Try- Try not to take it personally, I’m like this with just about everybody,” you attempt to make him feel better, but he shakes his head.

“You haven’t been like this with me, not before- Before I did what I did. Said those things, those awful, untrue things. Why did I say those things? They weren’t the truth, they were the opposite of it. I love hearing from you, it makes every day better. Finding you on my couch is a great feeling, knowing that someone as great as you trusts me, sees me as someone who can keep them safe.”

“And my memes?” You ask in a sarcastically accusatory tone.

“The funniest,” he replies. “Can I- Can I give you a hug?”

You nod, and he surges forward, wrapping you up in his arms and spinning you around.

“I always hoped it’d be like that,” you quietly admit, and he beams.

“Listen, we can talk later at dinner. I think you’ve got a certain girl you need to talk to, and she and her metal accomplice are approaching.”

“I think she’s his accomplice,” you correct with a laugh.

“Gotta bounce before the hardest guy on Earth ropes me into another mission. I’ll be back, though, kid.”

“Yeah. See you soon…”

“Wade’s fine for now, unless you wanna call me something else. We can negotiate later, ‘kay? Love you, bye.” Wade scurries down the hall, not realizing that he’s going towards the dorms, not the exit.

“Wade Wilson!” calls Piotr from behind you, and you turn around to see that Ellie is far closer to you than she is to Piotr, having gone faster on her smaller, lighter legs.

“Uh, hello…” you say dumbly.

“Based on your expression, I’d say that discussion went well.”

“Very well. Thank you for giving him the opportunity to talk to me alone, I’m sure you didn’t wanna do that.”

“I didn’t, but I figured it was the best option. Tell me more on the way to the dorm.”

“Well, uh… He apologized, a lot. Not just for the fights.”

“For letting you die?”

“No. Worse.”

“Holy shit, what’d he do, and why haven’t I heard about it?” She asks, tense.

“Because I didn’t know,” you reply defensively. “He’s- He’s my biological father, Ellie.”

“Whoa… Seriously? How long has he known?”

“I don’t know, but not long, the DNA tests were recently. He just wanted to help me find my dad and when he asked Xavier if he had any way of helping, the Professor said that he had to submit a sample to be tested. Turn’s out the old man’s hunch was right. You… You still wanna be friends, right?”

“Yeah, of course, why wouldn’t I?” Ellie wonders.

“I just- I know you don’t like Wade very much, and I’m technically his daughter, so…”

“So? That doesn’t mean I don’t love you anymore,” Ellie argues, and then covers her mouth.

“You love me?”

“Yeah, but just, like, in a friend way,” she plays it off rather smoothly, in her opinion, but you sigh in disappointment before you can stop yourself. “Wait, do you love me in a not-friend way?”

“Not really sure what you wanna hear,” you respond, feeling the recently-sealed cracks in your heart refracturing.

“Do you?” she asks.

You’re silent as the two of you walk to your shared dorm.

“Y/N, I asked you a question. Do you love me as a friend, or as more?”

You feel overheated and nauseous, that’s how nervous you are. You attempt to take some steadying breaths before answering: “More.”

“Oh, thank god…” she sighs. “I- I told you on Monday, when you fell asleep with me. But you were asleep, so, you didn’t hear me… Duh… I sound so stupid right now, don’t I?”

“No, not at all! Jeez, today just keeps getting better and better, I mean it!” You exclaim.

“Can- Can I kiss you?” Ellie asks nervously, and your eyes widen, but you nod. She takes your face in her hands and just goes for it, pressing her lips to yours. You respond immediately, wrapping your arms around her neck while her hands slip past your face and into your hair, tugging gently. You let out a small, quiet moan at that, and you can feel her smirk a little. She kisses you faster, pushing her body closer to yours, and your knees give out. She catches you in the nick of time, laughing a bit at how easily flustered you are as she nudges you toward the bed, sitting there with you. “Your knees are right, we probably shouldn’t rush into things.”

“Yeah…” you admit, resting your head on her shoulder.

“I love you…” She mumbles. “I’ve loved you for a long time, actually.”

“Same here. When did you know?”

Ellie replies: “It’s kind of embarrassing.”

“I can tell you first, if you want,” you offer.

“Yeah, do that…” She says.

“I just realized that every time I was upset, you were there, making me feel better. Even if you didn’t know it. Every time my mom hit me, or I got stabbed by an asshole mugger, or I was about to faint from hunger… You were right there. Making my life better just by existing.”

“I wish I could’ve been right there in person, to help you,” Ellie says, and you shake your head.

“That’s not the point. The point is that you did, without even trying. You always make me happy, without even trying.You just have to be there and everything is better.”

“That’s really nice… I feel dumb now,” Ellie confesses.

“It’s not dumb! Probably not, I mean…” you reply, nuzzling her chest a bit as you try to get a bit cozier.

“Um...You probably don’t know this, but I used to get in fights a lot before we met. And Piotr would always lecture me, telling me it wasn’t heroic to fight out of anger. That I should fight for something, not because of something. That I should be aware of the consequences that come with fighting, and truly think about them before I did. I never understood what he meant, and then we met and became friends… Then best friends…

“I didn’t even realize that before every fight, even the ones I was assigned, I’d think about how I was going to make the world a better place for you. I’d think about what you would think if you heard what I was doing. I- I made a mistake at one point, got angry over nothing and got into another stupid, pointless fight. It was the first time in awhile I’d heard Colossus’s spiel, and I realized my thinking process with every world he spoke. It all just made me think of how I feel about you. You’d made me a better person, more mindful of the consequences of my actions, my thoughtless, immature violence. That’s when I knew.”

“Oh, shut up! That’s way better than mine and not embarrassing at all! Show-off,” you remark, and she chuckles.

“That was fucking beautiful!” Wade wails from behind the door.

“I think I liked it better when you two weren’t friends,” Ellie comments, and you smile at her, shaking your head. She takes your hand in hers and squeezes gently.

“Oh, come on. You can’t hate him. I mean, I wouldn’t exist without him, for a few reasons. I mean, he’s the one who passed me the gene for a healing factor, even if his was recessive before. And, I mean, he’s the sperm donor either way.”

“I heard that!” he shouts, and Ellie smiles at you, planting another kiss on your lips.

You could get used to this.

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barbwiredheartx · 5 years

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So i had my appointment today with the nurse who conducted the trauma- and dissociative disorder diagnostic test. Week ago i requested bea or skye or someone with the capacity to handle the bad news to front, but the two are missing in action, instead two days ago i got bri. I got a nervous stomach walking toward the hospital and asked my love to help, he sifted in and my stomach settled. Bri's got a clear head on her shoulders, easy to think smart things etc. She was conversing with b at home in the morning about drawing out how we perceive our body, our consciousness, our awareness and how that interacts and combines with the world, simple visual presentation of biology and the interactive mind and the world, we think, but who knows.

Once we got to the nurse however bri was soupy with a masculine presence cuz thats our norm - our boys handle things that require emotional detachment (we did get shaky however), i also think its impossible for us to meet professional people without a mask on, it's difficult enough to meet regular people, just like the conditioned mask of a perfect flawless witness child representating an Elders family, at least on the surface interactions. Smile, deny yourself, be kind and polite.

I was reminded about me telling them about a, to quote my friend "classic co-consciousness example" and yet, this nurse had no idea what i was talking about. If to wake up as another person, feeling them, their sex, their body shape and their emotions perfectly overlapping with your sense of the physical body and you walk differently, sit on the damn toilet differently and question wtf is this, is me somehow consciously creating an identity then i dont fucking know.

Or waking up in 2014 as a woman, confused, aware of the time passed as we have a frontal memory that everyone at the front has access to, and feeling like i woke up from a fucking coma? Is me consciously creating alters, then i dont fucking know. Or going to the store, paying my groceries, coming home and the next day i have no idea why i have ten euro bill still in my wallet and remembering i walked home without the cat litter bag, yet walking to the kitchen and looking at a cat litter bag having no idea why or how i have it there bc i sure didnt buy it. And i still have no idea where the dish brush came from the other christmas. I threw them all into the trash, went to the store bought a regular dish brush to replace the old ones with the last coins i had. And two days later, theres two dish brushes hanging off the dish rack, one regular and one with a brush head you can switch. If this isnt amnesia between switches, i dont know what it is.

If having main control of the body without partial control of the body (leg moving without my control over it, the body turning around without my control of it, arms moving without my explicit control of it) isn't telling of something being strange and out of the ordinary here, i really dont know what it is. Maybe i am possessed by demons like the pastor wanted to convince me. What other explanation is there?

Is it because i dont know most of my visitors? That i dont know enough detail about my visitors? That we are most of the time blurry about who we are? Including our non-human alters. Does our abuse in our childhood and our lack of most trauma memories somehow invalidate our alternative identity states as fiction? Not all of my visitors are "new" heck, i am myself not who we were before 2006-2010. But when Joshua's subsystem members come close to front, i recognize who they split off of, same with the Jo's. Is it the lack of names? Is me wanting to name my parts for the sake of communication somehow invalidating of who we are as a person?

I'm full of ghosts. Come from a strict religion and badly dysfunctional family that was hellbent on changing who i was into something more acceptable and proper.

I really cant tell you how much amnesia there is in our daily life because i exist and live alone with myself, there is no one i see regularly enough who could talk to me about something we did or talked about so i could go and notice oh fuck, i have no idea what youre talking about. I cant tell you what personal information ive forgotten because if i have forgotten it, i dont fucking remember it?? Other than trauma indicators without memories of anything happening that could explain my reactions in certain areas of life. Plus, like i said, i live alone, so what i experience adversely, is rather quite fucking limited. Its rather fucking simple and logical why i cant answer some of the questions.

I went through trauma that caused first extreme relief of "oh ive found my soulmate, hes safe, i can be fully myself as a woman" into extreme and visceral rejection of her. So first i lost my male alter and right after, jojo went hiding. Then fast forward six years im put on a medication that wipes my entire remaining sense of self clean and causes other side affects that affect me badly. And you wanna tell me, me having a disordered panic attack to a stranger verbally abusing one our younger kids somehow caused me to intentionally create identities instead of it bringing out a sect of a system so we can stabilize ourself? Cuz we can only rely on ourself to do that. There is no help any fucking else where.

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batgirl-87 · 5 years

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So @mdeenise “challenged” me to answer all of the questions from this Hogwarts Mystery Asks: MC. I’ve already answered some (can check ‘asks’ or ‘ask game’ tags, I’ll also link them in my Masterlist) so I’ll answer the rest I haven’t been asked yet here because

1. What is their whole name?

Nereida Adelyn-Keira LaFontaine Black

5. How is there relationship with Jacob?

Keira and Jacob were very close - it was them against the world! They’re very protective of one another, they can get/have gotten into a lot of trouble together, both with a rebellious, mischievous streak; but they are also siblings so there’s teasing, embarrassing each other, lots of physical ‘play fighting’ - they’re very much like I can be mean to my sibling but if you’re mean to them I’ll hurt you. Clearly when he ‘disappeared’ it was devastating for Keira and she felt completely alone.

6. How is their relationship with their parents?

Both Keira and Jacob loved their mom who was their primary caregiver. Keira honestly doesn’t really remember her dad much but Jacob hates him. She has a vague recollection of him and Regulus and Sirius, a bit better memory of Sirius who kept in contact with her and Jacob even after they moved to Canada, possibly to spite his parents but Keira thinks he actually cares about his younger half-siblings even if it was something that started out from spite or curiosity.

When their mom died of course Jacob and Keira were very sad over their loss. They were then taken in by their mom’s close friends and moved to Canada from Ireland and while there was an adjustment period they both appreciate the care they provided, and while Jacob and Keira didn’t exactly feel like they belong in this ‘family’ their mom’s friends were great parental figures and they do care about them and appreciate everything they’ve done for them. Their dad was nonexistent in their lives after the passing of their mom (he passed soon after the next year, after the death of Regulus) but when they arrived in the UK to attend Hogwarts they did find savings left for them from their dad in Gringotts (safe to assume without his wife’s knowledge).

So both love their mom and ‘adopted’ parents (unofficially adopted =p) and while Jacob hates their dad and views him as a manipulative, selfish, neglectful arse, Keira is pretty neutral and apathetic about her dad since she doesn’t really remember him all that well. But she appreciates the money! =p

8. How’s their relationship with their family?

Ahahahahahaha - I’m cackling =p

Unfortunately, the family on Keira and Jacob’s mom’s side are all pretty much passed or they have no idea who they are =p Their mom and mom’s parents are passed and their mom had no siblings since her mom died relatively soon after her birth (undines...) As stated before, Jacob and Keira appreciate and care very much for their mom’s friends who took them in after her passing, although a bit of awkwardness since it’s not ‘really’ their family...

As for the Black side of their family *more cackling* Orion seemed much more interested in their mom than them and didn’t seem to want much to do with them, at least according to Jacob. Walburga hates them and this whole situation, of course! With good reason! She honestly probably would of had them killed. She focused most of her energy on ensuring this scandal did not get out into the public and was probably very relieved when they moved across the pond. Of course when Jacob returned to attend Hogwarts he was done living this lie and didn’t care who it upset and went by his Black family name, encouraging his sister to do the same - this family would not win! Walburga could try to deny it all she wanted but a paternity test (which I’ve done some research on Wizarding World paternity tests and some interesting ideas came up!) just proved it.

Despite this, Walburga and the rest of the Black family continued to ignore their entire existence. Andromeda may have been left out of the loop considering she was disowned from the family as well but when Keira and Tonks realized they were both related to Bellatrix Lestrange, and therefore related themselves, Keira was so happy to be accepted by some members of the Black family. Sirius also was accepting of his younger half-siblings and stayed in contact with them even after they moved to Canada. He may have only gone to see them at first out of curiosity and then continued to visit and communicate with them out of spite to his parents but he probably did care about them and enjoyed them more than Regulus because they weren’t brought up in a pureblood elitist household. Probably wished their mom was his mom which would just upset Walburga. And if Walburga didn’t hate them before, after she passed, Keira, now more spiteful and daring with everything that has happened, moved into the now empty (well except for Kreacher) 12 Grimmauld Place which would just piss Walburga off! How she convinced Remus, no idea - basically she was like I’m doing this and Remus had to go along with it =p

Wait, is Kreacher family? Keira and Kreacher argue a lot and she will not stand for him being mean to Remus or any of her friends and will threaten to kick him out although it’s an empty threat because she wouldn’t actually kick him out and make him homeless! Kreacher of course thinks she’s invading some place that does not belong to her but because she is a Black she sort of does belong there and while not related to his previous Walburga, she is to Orion so he has to put up with her =p They eventually reach an understanding. Kreacher is free to stay there and does not have to do any chores or cleaning up after her or Remus, as long as he’s nice... or just stays away from her friends and Remus.

I’m not sure how Regulus felt about them, maybe neutral? I think discovering his dad’s affair would be a shock to him, he might be curious as well to meet them and I like to think did meet them at least once, possibly while their mom was passing (like Orion went to see her and Sirius and Regulus decided to go as well because, hey, it is their younger siblings whether they like it or not and it’s a hard thing to go through) but I think he was more worried and concerned about Death Eater affairs and tricking Voldemort =p

So while Keira is close with Tonks, and probably her parents as well, and both Keira and Jacob are accepted by Sirius, and maybe even Regulus, who knows =p, most of the Black family still pretends they don’t exist. Although I like to think Keira later bonds with Draco and they become close and overall these next generations are going to be better. And while Bellatrix may refuse to acknowledge Keira’s relationship to her, deep down she actually really likes Keira because she’s a strong, tough bitch who isn’t afraid of her and would have killed Dumbledore without even being a Death Eater if asked =p Seriously, Keira knows she’s actually Bella’s favorite.

(This also pretty much works for my original HP OC bio where she was Sirius’ daughter because besides Tonks, Andromeda, and Ted, the rest of the Black family wouldn’t really acknowledge her existence either)

Does Remus count as family? Of course he does, he’s “Uncle Remus!” =p Remus and Keira had an instant bond, they are incredibly close - I like to think of it as two people who felt completely alone in the world found each other and now they were not longer alone. Keira is very much like Sirius, and Jacob can be very much like James actually, so it was actually nice for Remus to be around them if not bittersweet. I actually have a post about Keira and Remus’ relationship so I won’t say too much more besides they are very close and Keira is suuuuper protective over him.

9. Do they have any other siblings?

Sirius and Regulus Black

11. Do they have pets?

Keira has a Siamese cat and Jacob had a Barred Owl named Archimedes which I guess is hers now too? Jacob also wanted a dog or crup but then went to school so their ‘adoptive’ parents are taking care of it =p

14. Any crushes?

Charlie Weasley.

She won’t outright admit it but it’s obvious to everyone else besides Charlie. Wasn’t even aware of it herself for quite awhile! =p But fortunately she plays it pretty cool and isn’t a stuttering mess around him so maybe he has no idea she likes him because she’s so chill and nonchalant about it. Although she can be flirtatious but she can be like that with a lot of people =p (She’s related to Sirius she can’t help it! =p)

16. Have they ever dated someone before (Either back at their home or at Hogwarts)?

Rumour has it during her summer before Sixth Year, where she spent most of it in Canada, and going into Sixth Year she was dating someone. Has not been confirmed nor denied. 😜

(I think that’s all of them? Wasn't that much actually, I expected more =p But I still wrote a lot more than intended so sorry about that! Hope I explained things well enough! If anyone has any questions or want to talk about MC’s more hit me up! Thanks for your challenge! 😉💙)

#hphm #hogwarts mystery #hphm mc #my mc #asks #ask game #thank you so much for asking

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yuugo · 6 years

Text

an essay on homura takeru

logs onto tumblr for the first time in a year just so i can post this

a seriously long post ahead

anyway this isnt a ~formal essay~ i’m sorry in advance but i’m just trying to dump all the stuff i’ve wanted to talk about for a long while because i really like takeru in vrains and the new ep reminded me that i still hadnt really wrote out my thoughts yet

(not formally anyway, just in stray tweets)

three points to this essay:

- explain takeru’s backstory and how it relates to the present - the way takeru dealt with his trauma and why it’s important - a little bit about soulburner

for archive purposes this essay was written after episode 59 aired and does not take anything past ep59 into account (because at the time of writing this it didnt exist yet)

the way vrains has showed how different characters deal with childhood trauma is extremely interesting to me because every single character that we’ve seen involved in the lost incident so far has dealt with it in a different way, and it perfectly parallels how people respond to trauma in real life. i have a lot of thoughts on this matter bc it’s also personal to me but that really doesn’t matter right now. for today i just want to talk about homura takeru

i’m going to assume everyone reading this is familiar with the lost incident, but quick tl;dr anyway: six kids got kidnapped and held in solitary confinement for 6 months where the only thing they could do was duel. and how well they dueled determined if they ate or not

all of the kids involved in the lost incident came out of it differently: kusanagi jin never truly left the lost incident, as he’s still in a psychiatric hospital to this day due to it. spectre fully embraced what happened to him and decided to return for more after finding out the only thing holding him to the “outside world” (his mother tree) was gone, because the lost incident was the only time when he felt needed (eps35-37, playmaker vs spectre duel).

yuusaku underwent therapy and rehabilitation but never actually recovered. he still suffers ptsd from it to this day (ep19, playmaker vs akira zaizen), and had become (rightfully) angry at what happened to him, leading him to team up with kusanagi shoichi (kusanagi jin’s brother) to deliver justice/revenge.

takeru came out of the lost incident also traumatized, as he mentions he never dueled again (ep52).

takeru is something of a special case as we see in his backstory that not only did the lost incident traumatize him, but due to his disappearance, his parents died while looking for him. in a sense, takeru came out of the ordeal with not only the trauma of the lost incident, but also the trauma of losing his parents at a young age (6), both happening at around the same time

the way takeru dealt with these two traumas was to completely re-invent himself. he “sealed away” his memories of the lost incident and completely changed who he was in order to avoid having to actually deal with it. takeru says this himself that the time after the lost incident to the end of season 1 of vrains--that was not actually him, as in his true self

however, what most interests me about this exchange is the way kiku (the girl) responds to his declarations that he’s “not himself”

after the lost incident, takeru had to relocate and live with his grandparents in another town because his parents were dead and could no longer tend to him. that means that everyone in the town never actually met takeru--that is, who takeru was before the lost incident. everyone in town knew only the post-lost incident takeru

kiku’s responses to takeru’s declaration that he’s going to leave give us a lot of context as to who takeru invented himself to be and how long he held up this facade. kiku is obviously someone who is close to takeru, as she shows worry for him not attending school, and he entrusts her with taking care of his grandparents. he even tells her that he’s been faking it this whole time

however, even despite all this, takeru never once dropped his facade around her before this moment (this moment being takeru reading the news article about playmaker/blue angel/go and the knights of hanoi), which is why she shows such surprise to his declarations and doesn’t understand what’s going on.

but she supports him, because

this is the most important part of their interaction to me. it implies that kiku has never seen takeru so resolute and full of ambition before this, and it’s been a long 10 years since takeru moved to this town. 10 years of keeping up the facade of being someone else in order to deal with what happened

this scene also goes to show just how much the news article about playmaker, blue angel, and go onizuka fighting the knights of hanoi meant to him. he’s willing to completely undo 10 years of his facade because of it. here was someone else from the lost incident (yuusaku), who fought and confronted his trauma head-on. completely opposite of takeru who ran away from it

takeru could have, arguably, gone to den city to meet any one of them, but he chose yuusaku because they know what each other went through

the complete image change is also super interesting, because takeru looks much rougher and tougher, like a typical japanese delinquent, than what he looks like now. the opening for this season even has a still to highlight his persona

and kiku confirms in their aforementioned interaction that he actually doesn’t go to school a lot (she was super happy when takeru said he’d finally “go”). it completes his whole delinquent persona nicely

this image is a COMPLETE 180 from what we see him as now

tamer hair, glasses, and his blazer is even buttoned! yuusaku doesn’t button his or wear his shirt properly (the top button is open). takeru looks much more put together than what he used to be

even the body language of these two are different. the delinquent persona takeru looks aggressive and unfriendly but the takeru with yuusaku and kusanagi is much more open, much more happy

and it’s not like we haven’t seen this style of takeru before, because

he looks exactly as he did when he was younger, before the lost incident occurred

why choose this look? why of all the images he could have remade himself into, why did he go back to what he used to look like before the lost incident?

because he’s finally making up for lost time.

because takeru is finally being who he was supposed to be, or in better terms, who he actually is, not his delinquent persona

in a sense takeru is regaining all the years he missed from his life pretending to be someone he isnt. he felt truly and genuinely inspired by playmaker, go, & blue angel because they fought his oppressors and the people who caused him pain. they fought while he did nothing, and this inspired him. he was truly super happy to duel go until he realized that go had completely changed from what takeru saw him as (a hero)

but reading the article made him realize: i cant keep hiding forever. like playmaker, i have to face it head on, because otherwise it's never gonna leave me. he's still haunted by the lost incident & you can tell because of just how much the article meant to him. takeru reverted once he read the news. he needed to do something

flame & the ignis gave him something to fight for. teaming up with yuusaku gave him something to strive for. he left his town & went back to den city because he wanted to make a difference and confront his past, and that’s exactly what he’s doing now, after all these years of running

and it’s really major! you know why? because dueling is his trauma

and here he is, dueling again after all these years of never touching duel monsters. 10+ years. his drive to try dueling again despite it being his trauma is his first step to getting out of his bubble. & meeting flame in the link vrains helped him realize he could actually do something

takeru is really an amazing character to me, someone who broke free of his self-imposed prison and decided to finally stop running. confronting his trauma firsthand is something that takes a lot of courage to do, especially for someone like takeru who has spent more than half of his life pretending like it didnt happen. it’s harder to convince yourself to do something than it is to convince others

and despite all this, he’s here now. he’s fighting.

and he’s really... someone to be admired. it’s hard to put into words the reason why this character means so much to me. he’s very inspirational

there’s a lot more i could say about how different takeru’s personality is in real life compared to when he’s in link vrains as soulburner (he’s much more shy irl, but soulburner isnt) and how this all relates to who he is as a person who’s just starting to get back on his feet.

but that’s a lot of words that i can save for another essay

anyway thanks for coming to my ted talk

catch me on twitter

#yugioh #yugioh vrains #vrains #homura takeru #takeru homura #posts de egao

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