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queenofcoquette · 11 months

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first steps to self improvement

introduction

hey loves! i want to make a post for people who have just decided to self-improving. to be healthier and happier but they don’t know where to start. 2 years ago i was in a similar position and i never though i’d be doing as good as i am today! i want to share some tips and then give my own advice too on how to begin :)

where to start?

self improvement is about one thing- knowing yourself. understanding your flaws, your skills. what YOU want. consider what your insecurities are, what your struggles are- whether with your mental or physical health. ask yourself:

what is the biggest thing i can improve on?

what changes do i want to make in my daily routine?

what habits do i want to pick up?

mental health

your mental health should be your FIRST step. a lot of times our mental health will bleed into our physical health, our discipline, pretty much everything. i also want to stress the importance of mental health because you might genuinely have a mental health condition that you don’t know about. my tips are mainly about just being a happier person, but getting treatment should always be the first step if you have a serious mental illness. :)

keep a mental health journal. i want you to keep a journal to record your thoughts, the negative ones. when you do that i want you to think deeper and get to the root of your feelings. keeping a journal to vent and understand yourself better will help you so much! i struggled a lot with regulating my emotions but having a healthy place to vent has made me a lot more stable.

find ways to cope. find habits that help you feel less stressed or sad. things that you do when you’re experiencing serious emotions in order to feel better.

shape your thoughts. be able to recognize when your thoughts are becoming toxic, judgemental, self-loathing etc. notice your own patterns and begin to correct yourself.

practice healthy habits. practicing meditation and mindful breathing are ways that i’ve found really help. but at the end of the day self improvement is about YOU- what works for you and what helps you grow as a person.

observe and reflect. one thing that helped me mature a lot is just reflecting on my actions, my choices and observing the world around me. have awareness of how you act.

reminder- life isn’t about being happy 100%. it’s not about avoiding anything that might cause unhappiness, sometimes it’s about dealing with these problems head on.

physical health

the first step with bettering your health is knowing what YOU need to work on. is your sleep schedule bad? is your diet not balanced? first you need to identify what you want to better yourself on. physical and mental health also go hand in hand- to improve on is to improve the other.

improving your diet. make sure to eat a variety of foods. improving your diet isn’t easy so always start with small changes. eating at home more often or learning to cook is a big first step that makes a big difference. incorporate a variety of fruits, vegtables and proteins. educate yourself on nutrition.

staying hydrated! most americans are dehydrated and i definitely know a lot of people who don’t drink enough. make sure you’re getting enough water! water should always be your main drink since it’s the healthiest.

get active. exercise is so important to our bodies. obesity in america is going way up, and it has a lot of complications to it. working out can mean a lot of things- going for walks, bikerides, or traditional home workouts.

get more fresh air. i know a lot of people might not live in areas where they can go outside or hang out for a long time, but making small changes like opening windows can help a lot.

fix your sleep schedule. getting proper rest is crucial in how our bodies function. if your sleep schedule isn’t good than put your attention towards fixing it.

maintain good hygeine. this is self explanatory. if your hygeine isn’t good or you don’t have a consistent routine, then develop one.

my advice

start small with everything. when you want to have healthier habits start with doing them a little bit and then eventually doing them for longer periods. what i mean is start something attainable (like working out everyday for 10 minutes) and once you’ve grown accustomed to that than you can change it to 20 minutes or so on.

develop habits. choose habits that better your body and mind and stay consistent to them! for me i always make sure i workout, journal and read EVERYDAY.

self improvement is very personal. a lot of my points made here are vague. at the end of the day self improvement is knowing what you want to improve and then incorporating healthy habits into your routine and staying consistent.

consistency is the key to success!

#that girl #that girl 2023 #pink pilates princess #queenofcoquette

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chanis-banani · 1 year

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hi! i saw you are doing a fluff campaign

i would like something sweet so maybe can i request how keeho would comfort his s/o when they have a bad day?

thank you <3

Yes of course! I'm totally here for some Keeho fluff <3

I decided to go with headcanons, because I feel like they fit this concept the best ~~

Sorry it's a bit short

So since Keeho is always flaunting his great sense of humor, he might crack one or two jokes before he realizes you might not be in the mood

He would give the best hugs tho. Those long type of hugs where he holds you against his chest for a few minutes and strokes your head

Though Keeho is probably a very good person to talk to, if you are really looking for a deep and emotional conversation, you should probably talk to Jiung

Overall I think Keeho is a little bit more pragmatic. You can definitely have a good conversation with him, but he'll mostly look for direct solutions to problems that you might have, rather than focusing mostly on processing feelings

His mission is simple: getting that smile back on your face as soon as possible

After a little while he would carefully try to make some lighthearted jokes again, to see if your mood has improved, and also because humor is a coping mechanism for him

He will also take initiative in finding practical ways to make you feel better. This could be anything: little gifts, acts of service, quality time

He might suddenly jump up and encourage you to take a walk with him because going outside will clear your head. And when you're out anyway, he'll take you to get some coffee and then he'll take you shopping. Of course he insists on paying everything for you

Speaking of love languages, he's careful with physical touch when you feel down. He'll be extra gentle with you - doing things like softly stroking your cheek or hair and he'll use a tissue to wipe away your tears if you're crying

Also he'll give you lots of words of affirmation. Telling you that he loves you, that you're a bad bitch (endearingly) and you'll conquer anything

Also this is unrelated but I suspect that Keeho is the kind of person who takes badass pictures of himself when he feels like shit. You know, like taking a mirror selfie with his tongue out when he's crying or something

#p1harmony fluff #p1h fluff #p1harmony scenarios #p1h scenarios #p1harmony x reader #p1h x reader #keeho #keeho fluff #keeho scenarios #p1h #p1harmony #keeho x reader

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ryemackerel · 8 months

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HALLO i was wondering how you get out of art block?? your art is very expressive and i absolutely adore all your colour choices and designs. ive been having trouble with art block for a very long time now so i’m just trying to ask other artists how they get outta it <3 i hope u have a niceday yesyes

OUGHH HELLO!!! holy crap, art block is the WORST. everytime i encounter it, its always hard to beat it D: theres days where i feel like i WANT to draw something so badly but my brain just. cant function

i dont have a definitive solution for art block, but whenever i do, i have a few ways to cope with it. sometimes they work, sometimes they dont? but whenever the time comes and im just sitting at a brick wall, i got some survival tips

1. come up with random silly ideas,, it could be anything: random words, phrases, scenarios. they can be as nonsensical as you want them to be. during art blocks, my mind is completely dry with ideas, so i always try to compile a list of ideas from the past so i can come back to them later on. i try to come up with random duos or something as simple as “mcdonalds date”. i might not work on these now, but maybe some random lil word can spark that creativity in me

heres my art ideas list… i have some ideas that are like 8 months old in there BGAHSGA, but i save em there till i feel like working on them

2. STRUGGLE DOODLES!! i like to make a bunch of doodles of random scenes that i think about in my head. doodle practically anything. your favorite person, favorite animal, something you see outside your window, frogs?

heres a few of mine. most of the time, i NEVER get to finishing them. however, during art blocks sometimes i like to go back to really old, incomplete guidelines and add some new, random addition to it. sometimes i forget what my sketches were exactly meant to be? and i guess thats the fun about interpreting stuff and giving things a new spin to them. during art blocks, i HATE trying to come up with new drawings from a blank canvas (since i dont even have any ideas to begin with). but working on old wips, or completely revising them? sometimes these can be super fun :]

[and bonus tip!! and this is like, a golden tip that everyone loves: going back to super old drawings and redrawing them!! its my favorite. i absolutely love seeing the improvement ive made over the years. its also pretty easy to work with since you dont have to stress about coming up with completely new ideas from a blank slate! GAHH i should do that more often.]

3. search up your favorite fanart, go on pinterest, anything. i love this one.

search up some really cool photos of outfits, aesthetic backgrounds?? i find myself searching up a lot of fanart of fandoms im in, any word with “aesthetic” at the end, casino aesthetic, anything! pinterest has always been my go-to platform to find ideas. i go on the app and not even a second in, im blown with all of this cool art n character designs. i have a problem saving almost everything i find into my boards, but at least i saved a chock-full of ideas i can work with. :)

a thing about me: ive never been the type to try and force my art block out. whenever im facing a block, its extremely difficult for me to come up with things on my own. sometimes i let it wait for a while, but that tends to take a REALLY long time. D: if i dont feel like drawing, or doodling, or really doing anything? i always like scrolling through really pretty photos. that tends to spark a small idea in me i can work with, and sometimes i manage to get out of art block from there. it starts out small, then over time it gets even better.

these photos especially gave me WAY more motivation than i ever had to draw wilbur during an art block moment. i started off making small random doodles of him in a neon city and over time it kinda turned into a fixation for neon cities. i LOVE imagining characters in random photos i find on pinterest.

wishing you the bestest in your art journey!! this crap’s tough but i know you can break it yo. thank you so much for the ask!

feel free to reblog and add your own ideas below :] i was only able to come up with a few, but if youd like to add on, go right ahead! /noforce

#ryemackerel asks

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borderlinereminders · 1 year

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I know getting a BPD diagnosis can be scary. There's so much stigma online, and both BPD and things you read online can make you feel like it'll never get better. That you're forever doomed to feel the way you do, and that things will always be bad.

But I'm here to remind you that this isn't the case. While my BPD still affects me, my quality of life has significantly improved for many reasons including my ability to foster healthy relationships with people and cope with my spirals and symptoms like a lack of emotional permanence, doubting my loved ones and etc. (You can check out my BPD FAQ for some tips to some of these.)

While everyone is different, and your journey will be different, I want to remind you that you can improve things for yourself. You can find joy and hope and love in your life with BPD. The bad days will suck, but you can make them less frequently and the good days are amazing and can definitely outweigh the bad.

Getting diagnosed with BPD doesn't mean your life is over and that it's hopeless. It means that you can now understand what's causing a lot of your thoughts and emotions, and learn to deal with it. When I got diagnosed, it allowed me to realize my unhealthy thoughts were BPD and gave me a level of self awareness that has helped me cope. Irrational thought telling me my friends don't love me? "Oh, that's my BPD being rude." And if that didn't work, it would at least allow me to pause and look at my ways for coping with the thoughts that I came up with over time.

I know it's a hard thought pattern to break, but telling yourself it's hopeless and you're doomed makes it hard to see any possibilities beyond that. I hope that as a fellow person with BPD telling you that there is hope, and I once felt that way and found my way out, I hope that can reach you a bit. And no, it isn't just that there's hope for everyone but you. (I once felt that way, too.) You aren't an exception. There is hope for you, too. I know some random internet stranger can't fix all the thoughts in your head, but I do want you to know that there is hope, and maybe the first step is seeing that others with BPD have lives they enjoy and that their BPD hasn't "ruined everything" so that you can get from there to "huh, maybe that can be me, too."

I'm not saying that it'll be easy (things like this seldom are). I'm not saying that you won't fall backwards sometimes (it's normal for this to not be a linear process). I'm not saying that it'll happen quickly (it won't.) I'm not saying that there won't be hiccups and interruptions, and times where you want to give up (you likely will). I'm saying that it's possible and that there's hope. And one of my favourite things I've heard is that the time passes anyways, you may as well try.

(Side note that if you've been one of the people to feel hopeless, and then find hope or make progress to enjoy your life or have a quality of life - please feel free to share that on this post. More voices could be good.)

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whentommymetalfie · 7 months

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hey, your fics on ao3 are actually saving my life rn. i’m not doing amazingly atm and reading your “breathe again” and “home to you” fics about tommy struggling with mental health (admittedly in a slightly different way to me) is somehow making it all so much easier to cope with.

i’m so in love with the dynamic of alfie being completely head over heels for tommy, despite tommy feeling utterly broken and despising everything about himself - it really does give me hope that perhaps i’m not entirely hopeless and unlovable either, even if sometimes i’m about as mentally stable as tommy is.

but yeah, idk - i don’t think any of that made a lot of sense, but i just wanted you to know what a positive impact your writing has had upon me.

and seriously, fucking wow- you’re absolutely amazing at writing - i have never read better, more in-character tommy and alfie fics. the way you create the angst and attraction between them is just everything to me and i hope you keep writing this pairing forever!

also, i was wondering - how long did it take you to learn to write like this? did you study creative writing formally or are you self taught (if you don’t mind me asking)? your use of words is just mesmerising and i’d love to think that one day i could be able to write as beautifully as you do.

anyway, thank you for all that you have done for the tommy/alfie community. seriously, you should see the indirects you get on twitter (you’re like the ceo of this ship at this point)

Firstly: This was an absolutely wonderful message to receive, and made my whole week. Secondly: this reply is long so my apologies in advance!

You make complete sense. And, not to get way to personal here, but I think it’s a very human and common feeling to be afraid that we’re unlovable when we’re at our lowest points and probably need it the most ❤️ One of the reasons I write is because it’s an escape and a comfort (and well, a huge struggle, but in the end the positives outweigh the negatives). And knowing someone else finds that through reading my fics is the biggest compliment I could ever receive, and reminds me why I do always slog through the more challenging parts of writing to finish things and put them out there for people to read.

Thank you for your kind words ❤️ I suppose I feel that my characterization isn’t spot on, but I’ve aimed for one that feels ’true’ within the setting and circumstances of the story, if that makes sense, and I’m so happy you like it. I’m wholly unable to cope with this incredible praise, but at least I can answer your question: I don’t have any formal education in creative writing. But I’ve always enjoyed reading and writing -though I mostly read in my native language (Swedish), I do try to define what I enjoy about my favorite writers’ works, and while I’m not skilled enough to always put that knowledge to use, I’d like to think that it’s helped me in some ways. As for how long it took me to learn how to write (though I definitely feel like I’m fumbling around in the dark from time to time and like I’ve learned nothing) I wrote and posted my first fanfic in English when I was 17 (a true blood fanfic I haven’t re-read since, and probably wouldn’t like to), wrote some more stuff that I never posted, and then began writing PB fic… six years ago or something? I’m 29 now, so I suppose you could say that I’ve got a few years of writing under my belt now. But I’d say that I’ve improved the most over those last PB years, simply because I’ve written so much over that period of time. And the more I write, the more critical my eye has become. And I still feel like I’m learning more every time I sit down to write.

And I fully believe anyone can learn to write, especially in a setting like fanfic, because I’ve always felt it’s a very encouraging and ’free’ environment. At least that’s been the case in the corner I’ve been in. There’s always someone out there who’ll enjoy what you put out there. And I know it’s cliché, but the key really is to just keep at it, so a huge dose of enthusiasm and self indulgence is important. I’ve got heaps of stuff that I’ve written and never posted, just because I’ve had an idea I wanted to explore. And I’ve made my peace with the fact that I’ll never be quite as skilled at writing in English as in Swedish, and won’t always find the perfect words, because as long as I write something that excites me in some way, I know there’ll be at least one other person out there who’ll enjoy it too. I try to just make it as good as I can with the tools I’ve got.

Again, thank you ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ I don’t know what else to say, but please know I’ll be back to re-read this message many times. And I hope you’ll be happy to hear there’s a new chapter coming tomorrow -please consider it a thank you gift!

PS I’m not on twitter so I don’t know what goes on over there but now I’m dying because I need to see 👀 the indirects 👀 What are they saying?? 👀 the curiosity is killing me!

#behold: a novel #asks #answered #anon #again: no tagging system #but I need to be able to find this again #this made me so happy you have no idea

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nothums-from-tj · 1 year

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In honor of me coming out to my dad tomorrow uhhhhh here’s a playlist to send to a loved one you plan on coming out to (starts with information, then with advice and stories, and then good trans/non-binary representation in media) bc I’m gonna be sending this to him afterwards. Feel free to use this playlist and these resources for your own coming out if you’d like :] it’s a long list so uh scroll to the end for my final point

PFLAG (can help parents find support groups to try to cope bc this is a shift in relationship and it’s ok for them to grieve, or at least find other resources to help them to support you)

HRC Resources (this particular section debunks myths on transgender issues and popular arguments against trans people and transitioning and answering common questions about said issues)

Understanding Gender Identity (article with a long list of definitions, go through and tell them what to start with to understand you and the situation better; there’s a beginning part too, though I feel it’ll be too confusing to start them off there)

Transgender Brain and Gender Identity (article discussing some improvements in transgender research and providing hope for trans people’s future I’d think, it’s a little wordy and an excellent read methinks)

GC2B (for my AFAB friends, this is probably the highest quality chest binder you can get and wearing a thin top under or wearing it inside out should help with any sensory issues, also since it’s made by fellow trans mascs they know how to not hurt our bodies; transitional gear is an excellent way for a loved one to support you if they can afford it; DO NOT go a size too small, don’t even risk it, they don’t work the way bras do)

Transguy Supply (also for AFAB friends, this I mostly trust for packers and packing boxers, and again transitional gear is an excellent way to support you if it can be afforded; do your own research for packing so you and your loved one are on the same page or at least you’d be able to let them know)

Menstrual Boxers (last one for AFAB friends lol, specifically for y’all who menstruate; this is such a dysphoria reliever for me as it feels like men’s underwear and I don’t have to really worry about “protection” for a little while, they also have regular “girl” boxers that can help you find a middle ground of sorts with the person you’re coming out to for a bit, just to ease into it)

Bra Resource (now for my AMAB pals, unfortunately I’m not skilled here as I myself am a trans man so I want to do my best here anyway: here is an article written by a trans woman with her bra experience and has varying other articles that I’m hoping will help you and a loved one out to pick one out for you as, again, transitional gear is an amazing way to support you if they can afford this type of gesture)

Tomboy X (from compression tops to packing boxers to adaptable bras to gaffs, y’all are set to go with just about everything here they do their best to relieve everyone’s dysphoria—def look at the reviews for things for a better judgement)

TransTape (skin-safe “tape” that can be used for packing, binding, and tucking; I think binding with TT is safer than with a binder since it’s not actually compressing, don’t quote me on that though; READ THE INSTRUCTIONS before use, please don’t hurt yourself)

Reminder that while it’s not your responsibility to do all the education for them, it’s important to push them in the right direction, at least to give them reliable sources. Make sure to look at the sites, read the articles, and watch the videos either before your coming out or do this with them so you can pick and choose what you want to narrate in your own experiences. Stay cool and be safe! Feel free to reblog with other sources, tips, anything you want to add!

If it helps at all: they don’t need to fully understand, the goal is that they accept you

(Edit from the next day, 5/5/2023: everything’s good and fine and cool between us and I can only hope y’all have a similar experience <3)

#transgender #coming out #tj talks #playlists #trans resources #amab #afab #ftm #mft #transmasc #transfem

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sometimesrosy · 9 months

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Do you ever experience an unfulfilled desire to see your tv couple (from The 100) consummate their relationship onscreen? And if so how do you get over it?

Yeah I do. I think it's one of the reasons I fell off of doing the rewatch (although not the only reason by far.) Because it felt hollow. You know? TBH I could have handled the way it ended better if they didn't completely invalidate the head and the heart story, and the story of trying to make sure we deserve to survive. And if they had even just ADDRESSED the tie between them. It was a mistake to take the love scene out of the episode after the resuscitation scene. But oh well.

There it is. You can't trust hollywood because they have their own agenda and they often put the story last.

What do I do to get over it? Well, I had to let go of the obsession, which I was ready for, tbh. I just moved on. Maybe because for me The 100 was a coping strategy, and my mental health improved so I didn't need them as a coping strategy anymore.

But it's hard to just be like, well, be over it, if you still need it as an emotional support ship.

In that case, I'd probably switch to fanfiction. There's some fantastic fanfic in the fandom and they can fix where it went wrong.

The tv show is fiction. It's not real life. It didn't really happen. There's no "truth" to it. Yes, there's canon. And the canon tells 'A' story. I personally think JR ruined the story out of spite, so I chose not to give a shit what happened in season 7, although I'd be okay taking it as inspiration.

If I were still obsessed, I would be WRITING fanfiction, to fix it frankly. BUT

I'm not, for some actual reasons that might have helped me move past the show and the ship.

Mainly because I started ghostwriting romances. Especially when I started, I was inspired by fan fiction and would definitely put Bellarke into the books. Sometimes I'd put Olicity. or like some other random ship. Writing my own story and giving them happy endings helped me not need them as emotional support.

And then also perhaps I switched my emotional support to reading historical romances. I read a lot of them. I started because my first ghostbook had a trope I didn't understand and my google search led to a historical romance, so I read it and remembered that I used to like bodice rippers when I was teen, so I started reading them. And the thing is, it's a lot like fanfiction. This character and that character fall in love in the fictional world of Regency or Victorian England. And because it's this kinda Jane Austen universe, it stays familiar. And because it's a fantasy version of the real times, well, it's not too near the real world and all the stress we go through now.

So how did I get over Bellarke's crash and burn? I wrote other stuff. I read other stuff. I might also suggest finding a different ship to fall in love with. You know that old saying "the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else?" I think that fits with a broken ship, too. Find someone else to obsess over.

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verkja · 2 years

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Pt. 26

Previous | Masterlist | Next

In this section, Catha has good intentions that work out for the best (after going rather sideways at first).

CWs: Fainting, mildly questionable coping mechanisms, referenced questionable relationships with mortality. A portion of this chapter is fluff. It’s SFW.

Words: A little under 3.5K

‘Oh, for -’ Radomil cut the hushed expletive short, looking sideways at Mures. The sorcerer seemed to be sleeping, leaning against the wall.

‘What is it?’ Catha asked quietly.

‘We should’ve checked the university library while we were there for more details on these names. Suchart gave us a few, but he references things I’ve never heard of here.’

Taking another look at the list, Catha had to agree. Some of the details they’d glanced over earlier weren’t half as clear as she had supposed.

Radomil sighed.

‘I’ll go back. It’s not that late yet, and if it’s like other arcane universities I’ve seen, the library’ll be open all night. Want to join me, or…? May take a couple of hours, especially if the librarians are occupied.’

‘No, thank you; I shall stay here. I’ve had enough wizardly antics for now.’

After her friend had departed, Catha sat on a bed to relax. The room had three of these, along with a table and chairs, and one window. The sill of this last held a bowl of soup which Mures had gotten for dinner.

Catha contemplated the soup. Steam no longer rose from its surface; no doubt it would soon turn entirely cold.

She didn’t want to wake her companion. He might’ve slept poorly last night, as she had, and rest was a fair way to let go of stress. Then again, waking to find his soup had gone cold would be unpleasant as well.

The trip to the university had been tough for all of them, but Mures had gotten the worst of it. His answers to Suchart’s invasive question had taken her by surprise, but of greater note than his words, his tone had suggested anxiety. At the time, she’d been distracted, since Radomil was upset too, but clearly Mures had been unhappy with how their visit had gone.

Rising, she went to the sorcerer’s side, deciding to wake him before the soup cooled. As she moved closer, however, he woke. Or no - he just opened his eyes. It didn’t appear he’d been sleeping at all.

He didn’t look well at all, either. If she had to guess, she’d say he had not slept last night, perhaps not for several nights. More than that, he looked utterly miserable.

‘Are you alright?’ she asked.

He gave her a look that she couldn’t interpret. It might’ve been meant as sardonic, but lacked a degree of composure.

‘I’ve been better,’ he said at last, tightly.

‘Ah - then you have my sympathies. Is the source of your troubles one we can confront?’

Mures laughed. It wasn’t a mirthful sound, just a short, sharp release of emotion that did not seem to improve his mood.

‘No,’ he said, and didn’t elaborate.

Not for the first time, Catha wished she had taken more time to get to know her new companion soon after meeting him. Since the initial stretch of their journey, from Isa’s tomb to Habrseng, everything had seemed too busy, of higher priority than mere socialising which they could do at any time, in theory.

But now she found herself unsure of what to suggest, or how to respond. In the end she resorted to what she knew best: finding a means of distraction that also worked as a way to let off emotions.

‘What would you say to a bout of light sparring?’ she asked.

‘No. Definitely not.’

Although she hadn’t assumed he’d accept, his answer’s immediacy and vehemence took her somewhat aback. He didn’t seem frightened, but very alarmed. She had no idea why this was.

Catha frowned as she searched for a thought. Second to sparring, a jog came to mind, but she knew Mures had an old injury. He’d mentioned his knee was bad just after Habrseng.

‘Let’s go outside of the city, to start,’ she said at last.

He narrowed his eyes at her somewhat suspiciously.

‘My objection to sparring was that you might hurt me unintentionally,’ he said after a moment, ‘because I’m not… I probably wouldn’t defend myself capably. But if you want to hurt me -’

‘No! Exertion can help when you’re feeling unhappy. That’s why I said we could spar.’

Even as Catha spoke, she wished she’d kept quiet until he had finished his sentence. Initially, she had assumed he was angry, but on second thought, that didn’t seem right. She supposed she could ask him to finish, but - no. It was better to keep moving forward.

‘Let’s leave the city,’ she said again. ‘Perhaps we can find something else to do to take your mind off whatever is plaguing it.’

Mures seemed less than convinced - though of what, she wasn’t sure - but at last he shrugged and got to his feet. His posture was hunched, which wasn’t unusual, but it seemed especially severe at the moment.

Catha scrawled a note for Radomil, leaving it on the tabletop, and headed out of the inn with the sorcerer trailing behind. It wasn’t yet late in the evening, and the sky above was mostly clear.

They walked in silence to the edge of Jameivird. The inn they had chosen was near the city’s border, so the way wasn’t terribly long. Past the last of the outskirts, a long open space - a field of snow-sprinkled dry grass - stretched down to the rocky shore of an inlet from the southern ocean.

Catha proceeded down to the shore, and Mures seemed content to follow her. She stopped some ways from the waterline, on a flat patch of gravel, and gazed out over the waves.

‘I don’t suppose swimming sounds appealing to you?’ she said. ‘It’s far too cold to stay in there long, but maybe a shock of cold’s just what you need.’

‘...I doubt it.’ Mures looked askance at the sea.

She watched him, troubled. In the past, she’d gotten the feeling he wasn’t well-anchored to life. Radomil’s way of relating to him had just reinforced that impression; though giving the sorcerer distance enough to keep him from feeling crowded, her old friend often seemed very anxious to know where and how he was.

But something was different today. Usually, Mures’ type of… whatever it was felt as if he might one day simply vanish into nothing. That was not the case at the moment. Something about him - some kind of tension - reminded Catha of herself.

Sometimes, often but not always in battle, she felt as if she was burning away; moving through life faster and faster, heading for an inevitable end, a flare of violence and glory and death. The troubling part was that she didn’t mind, except on Radomil’s behalf. It wasn’t as if she wanted to die, but if she could know her death made a difference and would be remembered for an age, the thought was hardly off-putting.

She doubted that Mures shared this precise view; however, a certain intensity linked his manner and her thoughts. The difference was, rather than uncontrollable feelings that led towards a death that was like an explosion, he seemed to be imploding somehow. The same destructiveness she felt in herself was present in his current state, but turned inwards and tearing itself to pieces.

‘What about magic?’ she proposed at last. ‘Is there a spell you could cast right now that would call for a great deal of power?’

‘Why? I mean - yes, probably, but to what end?’

‘For the same reason I go to work on my swordplay whenever I’m feeling less than myself. As I said earlier, if you exhaust yourself, you’ll lack the energy to be upset.’

The look he gave her was tired already, but not in the way that she meant. After a moment he shrugged, stiffly, his lips pressed together in a thin, uncomfortable line. He turned to face the ocean and took a few steps down the gravelly beach.

Catha stood in place, waiting for him to do something. Although she did use some magic herself, she certainly wasn’t a specialist; watching a wizard or similar spellcaster always was cause for enjoyment. Concern for her comrade’s well-being did not mitigate this in the slightest.

Mures stopped just by the waterline. There wasn’t much wind, and the tide was gentle; waves washed softly over the rocks. He got to one knee and reached out a hand, fingertips brushing the edge of the sea.

He stayed like that for some time. After a while, Catha’s brow furrowed; she didn’t see anything happening, but Mures’ face had gone paler than normal. His hand was still touching the water, too, which probably wasn’t wise. The only reason the sea had not frozen was all of the salt, which kept it from turning to ice -

Except that it was getting icy. She’d noticed some blocks floating far from the shore when first they’d arrived on the beach, but now she realised that under the surface, the floor of the inlet was growing pale. The rocks and sand in this part of the world were black and very dark grey, but now the seafloor had turned dirty white.

A few seconds later, the surface iced over, pallid grey-green branching out in a half-circle, starting from where Mures’ hand touched the water. Though Jameivird wasn’t a fishing city, a few small rowing-boats bobbed at the side of the inlet; as the ice reached them, they shot upwards out of it, coming to rest as if run aground.

Catha looked down at her comrade with a mix of respect and rising concern. Although she had never worked much with cold, and couldn’t be sure how much power it took to freeze each droplet of seawater, she was certain turning the entire inlet to ice required a great deal of energy. The point of the exercise was exertion, true, but not to a dangerous degree.

Just as she thought this, he stopped and stood up. The inlet was frozen from shore to shore, and some ways out to the open sea.

Mures swivelled around to face her, swaying a bit on his feet. To her surprise, he was smiling more openly than she’d ever seen him do before, crooked teeth and all. He looked slightly drunk, and more than slightly dizzy.

‘Hey,’ he said, ‘that really worked. I feel a lot better. Thank you, Catha.’

‘Happy to help,’ she said with a grin, approaching to offer a clap on the shoulder. Instead, she found herself catching her comrade as his eyes slid shut and he collapsed forward.

After a moment of shock, she wrapped an arm around his shoulders and gently set him down on the ground. Laying a thumb on his bony wrist, she felt some relief upon finding his pulse was steady, if somewhat slower than normal. It seemed he was just exhausted past the point that she’d hoped for.

Well, this wasn’t especially convenient. They’d wandered some distance away from the city to reach the end of the inlet. The weather looked troubling too; deep grey clouds hung over the waves and loomed closer with each passing minute. A snowstorm appeared to be on the way.

Catha checked to make sure Mures’ hand wasn’t frozen. His fingertips were fairly cold, but not in a worrying way. Taking a breath, she pulled him over her shoulders, legs on one side and one arm on the other, and got to her feet with a huff. She set out back towards Jameivird.

While Mures weighed likely far less than he should, he was still an adult of about her own height. As such, he was not very easy to carry after the first few minutes of walking.

Still, she kept on, and was pleased to observe, upon reaching the city, that most people had fled indoors to avoid the oncoming storm. With some effort, she moved surreptitiously along the alleys, reaching the inn without incident.

Radomil had returned to the room while Catha and Mures were gone. He rose with an exclamation of concern when she entered the room with the sorcerer.

‘What happened?’ he asked, helping her lay Mures down on a bed.

‘He isn’t hurt,’ she assured her friend. ‘He overexerted himself. It’s partly my fault, I fear; he seemed upset, I suggested he do something energetic, and - well. He froze the inlet just south of the city.’

‘What, the whole thing?’ Radomil gave her a look of alarm.

‘Yes. In truth, I was very impressed. I’d meant to tell him as much, but he fainted immediately afterwards.’

‘Right.’ Radomil let out a long exhale. ‘Well, I suppose we’ll just… wait for him to wake up, then. Did he say why he was upset, if you don’t think he’d mind you telling me?’

‘He didn’t. I assume it was something to do with our visit to the university. Our welcome there was not very warm.’

‘No, and he got the worst of it by far.’

Catha considered pointing out the fact that Radomil also had been quite affected, but on second thought decided not to. He seemed to be feeling, if not fully better, at least much improved now they had a few leads.

Radomil tugged the blanket up to just below Mures’ shoulders, then took a seat on a neighbouring bed and leaned back against the wall. They’d set their companion on the middle bed.

Catha sat down beside her old friend and, after a moment, prodded his arm.

‘So,’ she asked, ‘what did you discover in the library?’

They’d been discussing his findings for a not-insignificant while when Mures twitched and quietly groaned. Quickly, they went to the bed where he lay, Catha standing a little way back.

After a moment, Mures opened his eyes. He still looked dizzy, as well as confused, seemingly by his comrades’ vicinity as well as his changed surroundings.

‘What…?’ he asked faintly, squinting at Radomil.

‘You used too much power when freezing the inlet,’ Catha informed him, giving a reassuring smile. ‘I doubt you’re in danger of any sort now.’

Mures gazed at her without expression. She noticed he’d twined the edge of the blanket in coils around his fingers.

‘She carried you here while you were unconscious,’ Radomil explained. ‘Are you feeling okay?’

He didn’t answer at first, still staring blankly at Catha. At last, he turned back to Radomil, who’d sat on the edge of the bed.

‘I’m fine,’ he answered, and stopped abruptly. Taking a ragged breath, he said in a carefully level voice, ‘Well - I’m not terrible. But also not - I’m not feeling great at the moment, Radomil, if you really want to know.’

‘Of course.’ Radomil gave him a very small nod, accompanied by the faintest of grins, and suddenly Catha felt as though she was intruding. She crossed the room and searched for something to do, settling on stacking the dishes they’d used for dinner.

‘Is there anything I can do to help?’ she heard Radomil ask from behind her. ‘Or we can do, any of us? The magical exhaustion should wear off on its own, and I don’t know a way to speed up the process, but if there’s something else wrong…’

Catha considered joking that she shouldn’t offer to help, seeing that her idea was what had caused the issue initially. The room held a kind of tension that humorous words might dispel, but she wasn’t sure if that outcome was wisest.

‘No, there’s nothing practical you can do,’ the sorcerer replied. He sounded tired, and exasperated - but not with Radomil, she thought. ‘Thanks for offering. It’s just pointless thoughts.’

‘Right... There’s nothing impractical I can do either?’

Several moments passed without Mures answering. At last, she heard him say haltingly, ‘I suppose; would - that is, could we - would you mind staying with me for a short while? I mean, here.’

‘No, not at all,’ Radomil said. ‘How about the other bed? Could sit against the wall for a bit.’

She heard them moving around, and eventually turned once stacking the dishes no longer provided a reasonable excuse for distraction. Her comrades had moved from the centre bed to one at the side of the room, and were leaning against the wall, seated close beside one another. Radomil had an arm wrapped around Mures’ shoulders. The sorcerer wasn’t looking at her, instead gazing fixedly out of the window.

Catha sat down on the opposite bed, taking along the notes from Radomil’s trip to the library. Unobtrusiveness was hardly her strong suit, but she could at least give her comrades some quiet.

Outside, the sun was entirely down. Snowflakes fell softly against the darkness, catching the light of the candles she’d lit. Time went by in comfortable silence.

She glanced at her comrades occasionally, noticing Mures seemed much more relaxed after a while had passed. Catha wondered how much of his mood had changed due to sitting with Radomil, compared to the earlier exertion.

And how much was due to simple exhaustion, she added to herself. Both her companions looked increasingly tired, which wasn’t surprising, she thought. The hour was growing late, the day had not been an easy one, and she was feeling the effects herself too.

Radomil tapped the bed where they sat with his unoccupied hand.

‘Feel like sharing one tonight?’ he asked.

Mures shook himself out of a half-doze, then shook his head.

‘The beds are too narrow. It’s not worth sacrificing any semblance of comfort over.’

Their conversation might’ve been meant to be private, but Catha couldn’t resist jumping in. She’d begun to feel useless, a state she despised, and it seemed likely the others would like her idea.

‘We could push two beds against one another,’ she said, ‘and lay the bedrolls from side to side to cover the crack between them.’

‘Sure - good idea,’ said Radomil. ‘Does that work for you, Mures? We could push all three beds together, actually, if we wanted. It would be like when we’re out on the road.’

‘Few people prefer the road to an inn,’ Catha laughed. ‘But yes, we could indeed do that, if neither of you mind the danger.’ She thumped her heel on the blankets warningly.

Mures’ expression was hard to read in the candlelight. She thought he looked somewhat uncertain, but other emotions were present too, although she could not make them out.

‘Alright,’ he said after a brief hesitation. It sounded almost like a question.

It didn’t take long to set up the beds and settle in them to sleep. Catha considered asking her comrades whether they’d like her to set up a barrier to protect them from unconscious violence, but as she turned over to pose the question, the thought of it faded away. Her old friend was already well situated, facing away with an arm around Mures.

Instead she decided to stay close to Radomil, hoping the decreased distance would rob any kicks of damaging force. Moving in close behind him, she laid her arm over his side. There was no convenient niche in which she could place her hand; Mures was lying right up against him.

Well, that should not be a problem, she thought. Still, she paused before setting her hand on the sorcerer’s shoulder instead. He felt very tense, but after a while, the point of his shoulder dropped down and forward. It seemed her choice had been at least acceptable.

Catha expected to drift off to sleep in this comfortable configuration, but once a few minutes had passed, she felt a light touch on her elbow. Whatever it was lifted after a second, then returned with increased pressure, and she recognised it as Mures’ hand.

She wasn’t quite sure how she felt about this - the company’s close and shifting dynamic - but if nothing else, she found it intriguing. It certainly seemed to make Radomil happy, and while the inclusion of a third person was different from how their friendship has been before, it wasn’t a bad sort of difference.

As she slid into sleep to vague thoughts of the future, one notable point stood out - if they continued to travel together, as all signs suggested they would, the party’s trajectory wouldn’t look much like she’d imagined in the past. Assuming they managed to stop the event they’d come to the city to research, any tale that might follow their travels would be like no story she’d heard told before.

__________

There is a sort-of illustration for this chapter here, showing Catha carrying Mures back to the inn.

#just a few more chapters and the story ‘opens up’ a bit #meaning i have a fair amount of space to fill and not many plans for how to fill it yet #there will be environmental whump though for sure #this chapter took a long time not because there’s anything wildly unusual in it #but because something bad happened irl and i haven’t been able to focus much on writing as a result #hoping future updates will be quicker but no guarantees; i’m still dealing with the bad event #my writing #no cws i think

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vonkarma2 · 2 years

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1 Jacinto, 8 Rocio, 11 Cirillo, 32 Victor, 15 Salem?

What’s the maximum amount of time your character can sit still with nothing to do?

I would say around 6 hours. They don’t need to be entertained basically at all and they typically don’t have much energy anyway. The problem is less so boredom rather than trying to stave off thoughts of deep dissatisfaction and despair. Usually they can ignore it but sometimes if they’re alone for too long that becomes impossible so they need to do something to get their mind off of it. Usually that thing is drinking or just like going for a walk in the town bc they have nothing else to do either. They’ve been considering moving out of Florecía for a while but they don’t know if that would make things worse or like be worth it, and they don’t have any specific place in mind.

How do they cope with confusion (seek clarification, pretend they understand, etc)?

Really depends on the situation, usually if he doesn’t think the other person will mind he’ll just ask bc he hates being unsure of things and also bc like why not. But if the other person seems annoyed or would judge him or something he’ll go on context clues instead and speak extremely vaguely so that it doesn’t become clear he doesn’t know what he’s talking about.

Do they have a go-to story in conversation? Or a joke?

He does sadly have very few opportunities for conversation throughout his life, he was usually either alone or in a terrible situation that he could not leave, so basically he’d just do whatever was asked of him and almost never speak out of turn. But for the purposes of this question let’s fast forward like 5 years. Now he’s doing way better. He has to explain to people like how he as a demon is living in the overworld though like it comes up pretty often. So I think he’d retell the story of like how he escaped the coliseum type place with Angel pretty often bc he actually considers it a good memory even though it was kind of dangerous he honestly doesn’t remember that part so much, he more so remembers how it was the first time he actually felt like he had escaped and he was going to be ok. Obviously he doesn’t say that part. He’s just like yeah this is what happened and so I’ve been living here for X amount of years now.

How do they speak? Is what they say usually thought of on the spot, or do they rehearse it in their mind first?

Depends on who she’s talking to she literally lies constantly, like more often than she tells the truth I would say. So she might not rehearse exactly what she’d say but she definitely has like some lies prepared like if they find out about this I’ll say this type thing. It’s mostly improv lying though 😋 unless if she’s talking to a large group of people in which case she might actually rehearse everything she says. But if she’s talking to someone she trusts then she does tell the truth and doesn’t practice at all she says things really impulsively. If she was telling you the truth abt something emotional then you could tell it was true like she kind of makes less sense when she talks and she like repeats things, sometimes she has to hold herself back from crying, etc. It would make everything she’s said before sound really practiced by comparison.

#the last two ones on this are a bit depressing but it’s ok.#Actually so is the first one #Cirillo our only semi-light in the darkness #This makes the whole story sound so dramatic it is not #Ok it is tbh it’s just that the characters in my perception of them are just like hanging out #even though sadly there is little to no hanging #out in the actual story 😔#it is very pro mundane life though #when I actually finish it I will also write an incredibly boring slice of life sequel. lucia does her tax return forms #Anyway thanks for asking :)#my ocs #Also I love posting oc lore w/0 context like wdym the coliseum no one will know what any of this means. You have to infer

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healthcareblogs226 · 1 month

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How can Hearing issues be Controlled

Introduction:

Tinnitus and hearing issues can significantly impact one's quality of life, often causing distress and affecting daily activities. The persistent ringing or buzzing in the ears associated with tinnitus can be particularly challenging to cope with. However, understanding the nature of these issues and adopting effective strategies can help individuals find relief and regain a sense of tranquility. In this blog, we delve into the world of tinnitus and hearing problems, exploring ways to manage and even silence these challenges.

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Understanding Tinnitus and Hearing Issues:

Tinnitus is characterized by the perception of sound, such as ringing, buzzing, hissing, or roaring, in the absence of external stimuli. It can be temporary or chronic, and its causes vary, including exposure to loud noises, age-related hearing loss, ear infections, or underlying health conditions. Hearing issues, on the other hand, encompass a range of conditions affecting auditory function, from mild hearing loss to profound deafness.

Effects of Tinnitus and Hearing Issues:

Emotional Impact: Tinnitus and hearing problems can lead to feelings of frustration, anxiety, stress, and even depression due to the constant noise or difficulty in hearing and understanding conversations.

Social Isolation: Struggling with hearing difficulties or tinnitus noises can make social interactions challenging, leading to withdrawal and isolation from social activities.

Cognitive Strain: Individuals with hearing issues may experience cognitive fatigue from the effort required to understand speech or sounds, impacting concentration and mental clarity.

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Managing Tinnitus and Hearing Challenges:

While there may not be a definitive cure for tinnitus or certain hearing issues, various strategies and interventions can help manage symptoms and improve overall well-being:

Consultation and Assessment:

Seek professional evaluation by an audiologist or ENT specialist to determine the underlying cause and severity of tinnitus or hearing loss.

Get a comprehensive hearing assessment to identify specific auditory issues and develop personalized treatment plans.

Hearing Aids and Assistive Devices:

For individuals with hearing loss, hearing aids can amplify sounds and improve speech clarity, enhancing communication abilities.

Consider using assistive listening devices, such as FM systems or captioning services, to support hearing in different environments.

Sound Therapy:

Sound therapy techniques, like white noise machines, nature sounds, or customized sound programs, can help mask tinnitus noises and promote relaxation.

Music therapy and guided meditation may also aid in reducing stress and managing tinnitus-related distress.

Lifestyle Modifications:

Protect your ears from loud noises by using earplugs or noise-canceling headphones in noisy environments.

Practice stress-reducing techniques like mindfulness, yoga, or deep breathing exercises to alleviate tinnitus-related anxiety and improve overall well-being.

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT):

CBT techniques, including cognitive restructuring and relaxation training, can be beneficial in changing negative thoughts and behaviors associated with tinnitus.

Empowering Yourself and Finding Support:

Dealing with tinnitus or hearing issues can be challenging, but it's essential to stay proactive and seek support:

Educate Yourself: Learn about tinnitus, hearing loss, available treatments, and coping strategies to empower yourself in managing these conditions.

Communication Strategies: Use communication tips such as facing the speaker, speaking clearly, and reducing background noise to facilitate better conversations.

Support Networks: Connect with support groups, online forums, or counseling services to share experiences, gain insights, and receive emotional support from others facing similar challenges.

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Healthy Habits: Maintain a healthy lifestyle with regular exercise, balanced nutrition, adequate sleep, and stress management practices to promote overall well-being.

Embracing Tranquility and Moving Forward:

While tinnitus and hearing issues can present significant challenges, it's essential to approach them with patience, compassion, and a proactive mindset. By seeking professional guidance, adopting effective strategies, and cultivating a supportive environment, individuals can navigate these challenges and rediscover a sense of tranquility and well-being in their lives. Remember, you are not alone on this journey, and with the right tools and support, you can silence tinnitus's noise and embrace a fulfilling life.

#health tips #health care #medicine #health & fitness #hearingcare #hard of hearing #hearing aids #fitness beauty #Beauty of health #Medicine #medical care

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project-29 · 4 months

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Forgiveness & Closure

"Closure" and the process of forgiveness are ideally thought to occur over a heartfelt productive conversation between the persons involved. It feels better this way because the process is being contributed to by both people working out misunderstandings and hard feelings and actually offering comfort.

However, in most situations, closure and forgiveness are actually solo journeys because many conflicts are caused by "irreconcilable differences" and happy endings aren't always a possibility.

The process of forgiveness usually requires a level of empathy. And empathy, requires two things-- a level of selflessness and familiar life experiences/values. To empathize, a person would have to be in an emotional state where they're even able to think of someone else's wants/needs before their own. I've definitely experienced times when I was so overwhelmed by my own problems or just too invested in other things to be considerate enough to seriously tend to a close friend's feelings or needs. And even if someone were to have the mental and emotional capacity to do so, to empathize would also require the other person to have enough familiar life experiences or shared values so that they could genuinely understand where the other is coming from, because who wouldn't prefer to be understood too especially when expecting real change to happen. Although sometimes being genuinely selfless enough to try can be enough for repair.

Only hurt people hurt people. And I think believing in this has allowed me to move on from a lot of things gracefully. Everyone has their own set of insecurities or problems or traumas that they might still be healing from, or might not even be aware of yet and are still finding ways to cope with the array of emotions or feelings of void that are starting to come up. We're all doing life for the first time and are trying to figure ourselves out at different paces, so choose to prioritize different parts of our lives and figure out different methods of self-soothing when things aren't working out. And many times we end up making mistakes, compromising valued relationships, or giving into impulses and desires at the cost of someone else's happiness.

Life just gets messy. And we ultimately can only be responsible for what we do with our own, despite how much we think we can help someone. I try not to internalize bad situations, especially when I feel like I've done my best, because someone's hurtful actions usually have less to do with me than the chaos/burden they've been carrying. And instead of letting these situations define who you are, use it instead as a mirror that reflects back to you areas of improvement in your life while you find actions/solutions that need to taken. Conflicts are usually caution signs, moments of redirection or opportunities for growth. They are ALWAYS two way streets, something you either triggered or allowed into your life. And the worst thing we can do is stay stuck in the victim mentality or blame game, and not take any accountability or steps forward.

Nothing's worse than letting your emotions and energy fester and holding yourself back from all the better things that can come afterwards if you had just allowed yourself the peace of forgiveness or grace that the other person just has some shit to figure out like you do too, and close the chapter. It's like being on the phone ranting over and over again about the same drama that happened months ago while you're outside one of the nicest, fanciest restaurants while it's raining outside. Like turn the dang phone off, close the door behind you, wish them love and happiness, (at the VERY least for right now or until you find a solution or honestly for even forever) and enjoy the present moment in PEACE. 'Cause the only person missing out on a better life is now you, and you're the only one to blame for it.

Besides if a person was meant to stay in your life then reconciliation would've been made at some point because they had enough empathy. This is not to say that those that can't empathize with you are bad or any less of a person, they're just not one of yours. Empathy breeds the quality connections that deserve a space in our lives.

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