#you can also argue switching Mikey and Leo around too but I like Leo as day simple bc his blue and stripes work with it

[turtleblogatlast]

I’ve remembered that colors exist

#rottmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rottmnt leo #rise leo #back to black and white for me #just wanted to play with colors and Leo got to be my guinea pig #genuinely I just kept putting layers on top of each other until I was like hm okay #this is why I stick with greyscale 😭 #too indecisive for color #turtle art tag #the trans implication was for once accidental but my subconscious is RIGHT actually- #he wears the colors well what can I say #anyway you know it’s not me without tags so here we go #the bros represent the four different times of day SO well #Mikey is Dawn Leo is Day Raph is Dusk and Donnie is Night #you can also argue switching Mikey and Leo around too but I like Leo as day simple bc his blue and stripes work with it #blue for clear blue skies #red stripes for dusk yellow for dawn #‘where are his swords’ in the void #man I wanna draw Leo in blue pink and white more often those really are his colors tbh #not JUST for my trans leo agenda either #on that note Mikey would rock fuchsia #and splash colors like that kickass jacket he had in CDMtT #Donnie would do great in lilacs or silvers #and Raph would kill it in gold #tan too would be so pretty on him and paired with gold? 👌👌👌 #not me wanting to draw fashion for them 😭 #on a further note April in emerald greennnnn #midnight blue or marigold for her too would be gorgeous #I could go on all day tbh

[fearthetallman]

Krang Pie: Chapter 1

Summary: Mikey is trying to keep his family together since the krang invasion as they all deal with it their own way. He feels like they keep splitting apart and he's the only one who sees all the cracks. But when he finds a krang hiding away in his home, Mikey gets put to the test of just how far he's willing to go for family.

Warnings: family fights, some angst (nothing too bad since it's just the first chapter lol)

Chapter 1

It was a year and a half before Mikey saw the krang again. At the time, however, he hadn't realized it was the krang and instead assumed it was a very old piece of gum he just stepped in.

His brothers were all in the training room, constructing the biggest pillow fort they could. They had built pillow forts before but considering the mile long blueprints Donnie had drawn up, this was going to be the winner.

Donnie flipped his goggles up from his perch atop the ramp. "Looking good, fellas. Two more hours and we should have the first floor done. Leo, careful with those pillows. We don't want Dad knowing we ransacked the house to make this beauty."

"I'm always careful," Leo argued, five seconds before he almost collided into Raph.

Raph floundered for a second, the fort swaying before it settled back into place. Everyone gave a sigh of relief.

Leo placed his pillow down. "Okay, that one doesn't count. Donnie was distracting me."

Mikey was so glad everyone was getting along like this. Dad and April had gone on a weeklong trip to check out a possible resurgence of the Foot in London. He wasn't sure how his brothers would act this long together and with no buffer. But it looks like he worried for nothing. It almost felt like when they were younger. Before they became heroes and before…

"Mikey!"

Donnie calling down to him snapped him out of his trance. He saluted like a soldier to their captain. "Yes sir?"

"Fetch me the cushion from the armchair in the TV room. It's unnaturally squished and saggy shape is perfect to weigh the other pillows down in place."

Raph paused his carrying. "Wait, from Dad's chair? I don't think that's such a good idea, Donnie."

"Its inclusion was on page 35 of my Pillow Fort World Record Plan. I don't know why you'd be complaining about it now unless you hadn't read my manual."

Mikey felt the slightest pressure of tension in the air.

"If we mess up Dad's chair, he's not gonna leave us alone unsupervised until we're 50," Raph countered dropping his pillows to face Donnie more directly.

The tension grew stronger, tightening around Mikey's shell and stomach like an ill-fitting belt. Usually Raph wouldn't pick fights over something as silly as a cushion. But after the krang, his fuse had gotten shorter. It didn't take much to set him off into an argument or even a fistfight. Mikey hated both.

"Look guys, I'll be super careful and as soon as we're done, we'll put the cushion back. Dad will never know." Mikey also hated lying to his dad, but he had to pick the lesser of two evils.

Raph's voice was stern, but his shoulders were already relaxing. "Even if we're careful, Dad will know if it's out of place."

Mikey shook his phone like a magic charm. "I'll take a picture so we can put it back in the exact same place." He hurried off before either of them could argue more.

The TV room was pitch black. He fumbled for the switch a moment, a small bubble of panic thinking he couldn't find it and a monster was waiting to pounce. But his fingers connected and the lights blinked on. Dad's chair in the same place as always. It felt eerily silent with no one there, the TV switched off for the first time in years. He shook off the chills and reached out for the cushion.

Wait, picture first.

He unlocked his phone and waited for it to focus on the chair. Something shuffled. Mikey's head swung up. Nothing in the room moved. He was just spooking himself. The flash lit up and nearly blinded him as he took the picture. He forgot it had been on. Shutting it off, he took another picture.

Something scurried at the edge of his vision. His heart caught in his throat. Had he seen something or were his eyes playing tricks on him? But then he heard a rattling. A definitive noise coming from behind the TV. He knew without a doubt something was in here.

"Leo?" He crept closer. The TV felt ominous. "You'd better not be trying to scare me."

Leo hadn't tried to scare him in months. But it was the only explanation his terrified mind could generate.

He was so tense he was barely breathing. Why hadn't he brought his weapon with him? He was at the TV. All that was left to do was face whatever was behind there. He just had to check behind there and ignore his pounding heart and all the danger signals and every bad feeling telling him not to do this and--

He looked behind the TV. It was empty. His stress dissipated and he could breathe again. He needed to stop watching so many horror movies.

Thrilled he was not going to be murdered by a shadow monster, he trotted back in to everyone. "Guys, you're not going to believe--"

"Mikey, do you have the cushion? We're at a critical stage!" Donnie yelled down.

Raph held the fort in place, trembling underneath it's weight.

"Oh, right. Knew I forgot something."

He walked back in, light still on and much less scary now. Grabbing the pillow, he made his way to the fort.

SQUISH

He froze. Something warm and gooey was underneath his foot. Not a totally new sensation but definitely an unwelcome one. He inspected his foot, trying to figure out what leftover food this was.

It was pink and very slimey. Too solid to be melted ice cream. Too soft to be bubblegum. Maybe some kind of moldy chip dip?

As he stared at it, the goop slid. Something shifted inside of it. Out came a mouth. It had sharp teeth.

The mouth screamed.

Mikey screamed back and ran. The goop flew off his foot. His panic only mounted and he dashed into training room.

"Whoa, where's the fire?" Leo called.

"Behind me! There was a mouth! Screaming! Monster!"

"Mikey slow down, slow down!"

But his momentum was too great and he noticed he was going to crash too late. He slammed into Raph's stomach. The big turtle folded in on himself. The tower of pillows wobbled, then came crashing down.

Mikey always assumed that a bunch of cushions and pillows wouldn't hurt but seeing twenty of them hurtling towards him, he began to reconsider. Raph yelled and dove on top of him.

The world darkened as they avalanched before everything went quiet and still.

After a moment, his older brother shook the remnants of their fort off.

"Noooo!" Donnie cried, clutching a saggy pillow. "My world record!"

"And your irreplaceable family members, right?" Raph asked.

"Uh, yeah. You guys, too."

Raph held out his hand and helped Mikey to his feet. "You okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. I'm sorry our fort got ruined but--" The words froze in his mouth when he saw Leo picking up a cushion. Dad's cushion with a large gash running through it. They all turned back to see stuffing still caught on Raph's red elbow pad. Donnie broke the silence first.

"Aw, look what you did! That was Dad's favorite chair."

The tension erupted.

"Look what I did? You're the one who came up with the stupid idea to do this in the first place! If you had just listened to me everything would be fine!"

"It always has to be about you, doesn't it? Always your plans, your rules and your way. My idea was brilliant and you know it!"

"Guys! Please don't fight," Mikey said but he couldn't be heard over the arguing. His stomach started hurting and he felt like crying. Why did he have to be so stupid? He never should have been trusted with such an important task.

Before their fighting escalated to yelling, Leo dropped the cushion. It landed with a soft thud. They fell silent as they watched him.

"A pillow fort was a stupid idea, anyway." He walked away, not so much as slamming a door as he hid in his room.

When Mikey turned back, his brother's faces were as dismayed as he felt. Raph's gaze fell to the ground before he turned and talked specifically to Mikey.

"I'm going to get ready to go on patrol. Don't wait up for me."

And then it was only him and Donnie. Mikey picked up the cushion, staring hard at the gash as if his eyes could mend it. His brother watched him awkwardly.

He sucked in a breath before he spoke. "Listen, Mikey, we're not mad at you, okay?" He patted his younger brother's shoulder stiffly. "Raph is just a bonehead who likes nitpicking well intentioned and devastatingly handsome geniuses sometimes."

Mikey forced a smile. At least he was trying. "Yeah. I'm gonna be in my room for a bit."

And so, the unity between the brothers split in four different directions. Mikey felt like each one pulled his heart a different way.

***

Inside his room, he played music to try and make himself feel better. Unfortunately, he kept skipping to sad songs so he was only making himself feel worse.

Out of everyone's reaction, Leo's had hurt the most. Instead of lashing out like Donnie and Raph, he would shut down. No matter what anyone did, he wouldn't leave his shell. Mikey could figure out what was going in the others' head, but Leo was a blank slate. He had no idea what to do with him.

If he had been confiding in someone else, Mikey wouldn't be half as worried. But he wouldn't let anyone in. Wouldn't talk at all about the time in the prison dimension and abruptly changed subjects if anyone asked how he was doing. All Mikey knew was that he was still hurting.

If only he had some way to--

Something clattered to the floor. Mikey lifted one of the ears of his headphones. He expected more silence but saw a blur scurrying behind his desk. His heartbeat picked up. It was probably just a bug. A cockroach scurrying around his messy bedroom.

That made him feel worse.

There was more noise and Mikey knew he hadn't imagined it this time. He wished he could run to one of his brothers for help but the only one he could go to was Donnie and Donnie Didn't Deal with Bugs.

Reluctantly, he put down his headphones and grabbed his least beloved magazine. He inched towards the corner he last heard the sound from. Nothing moved. He rolled up the magazine, poking at clothes and discarded papers. A rogue memory of a beetle scuttling over his foot made him wish he wore shoes.

Another rustling. Behind his dresser. He leaned closer, trying to see behind the dark space of the dresser's shadow. It would be better if he struck first. He swallowed hard. Reached the magazine into the crevice.

Something flew out and landed on his face. He screamed.

"Get off get off get off!"

He smacked himself in the face with the magazine a couple times before realizing it was not going to let him go. His vision gone, he stumbled around his room, tripping and falling over boxes and books. He landed hard on stomach, knocking the wind out of himself. Finally, he reached up and grabbed onto his assailant, flinging it to the ground. He couldn't believe what he was seeing.

Like in his nightmares, a krang stood before him, glaring as though Mikey was the invader. Although in his nightmares, the krang usually wasn't the size of a cockroach.

It raised two of its tentacles in the air and yelled at him in a voice that sounded like it sucked on helium. "Foolish turtle! You thought you had defeated the krang but we have persevered. We shall kill your family and everyone you love for your insolence!"

Mikey couldn't help it. He laughed.

This only angered the krang further. "You dare mock me? I shall make you feel true pain!"

It slunk up to Mikey and bit him on the ankle. "Ow!" Even though it was tiny, it still had teeth.

He yanked it up into the air to stop it from biting him again. But he had to twist it and turn it upside down in his grip to avoid its reach. It writhed and growled like a naughty puppy.

"Listen, I met your other family, your big brothers and sister, but I can't say I'm scared of you." He had to hold back from calling it cute. Ugh, he was letting his guard down too much. It was still a krang.

"You impudent insect, I was the krang you met. When your blue turtle abandoned me in the prison dimension, I sent a piece of me back with him."

His stomach dropped. All good feelings sucked out of the room and into the krangs evil smile.

"Oh, you didn't know, did you? We krang are smart like that. Just a drop of my DNA hiding on his shell, that's all it took to sneak out. Usually Krang don't resort to such passive tactics but we do cover every possibility. I've been here this whole time, regenerating the rest of my body and waiting in the shadows until the time was right to--"

Mikey heard footsteps. He grabbed an empty bucket of paint and slammed it on top of the krang right as Raph walked in.

"You okay in here, Mikey? You’re looking pretty frazzled."

"No, everything's fine." Mikey was eternally grateful Donnie had soundproofed his room so Raph hadn’t heard him screaming. The bucket of paint tried moving and he sat down on top of it. "Just thought I saw a bug."

Raph stiffened. He hated bugs even more than Donnie. "Well, uh, tell me if you need any help."

He had picked a terrible time to come in. A minute earlier and Mikey would have loved the help. But he couldn't now that he knew what it was. "I will. No worries." He laughed an unconvincing laugh. He really hated lying.

Raph turned to leave but paused in the doorway. "I'm sorry for yelling earlier. I'm not upset at you, Mikey, I just… I still feel like I'm not in control sometimes. Like the krang could show up out of nowhere and use me again."

He wanted to scream but instead focused all his energy on forcing the paint can to stay down and not move.

"I know it's not rational but…" Raph trailed off, shaking his head. He looked back at Mikey and smiled. "None of us are mad at you, I promise." 

Any other time, Mikey would have jumped up and hugged him, shouting hallelujahs that his brother was opening up. But all he could do was ignore the hole the paint can was burning into his shell. "Thank you. I really appreciate that."

With another smile, Raph disappeared. Mikey slumped over. The paint can flew off and landed against the wall, crumpling as if someone crushed it.

“Finally!” the krang yelled, scuttling over to Mikey. “I can come kill y—”

He slammed it into the ground with his hand, squeezing it as if it was a stress toy. “You are not going to do anything. You may have had the advantage before, but you will not hurt us this time.” He could feel the tingle of his mystic power surging through his veins, preparing to—

“Mikey, get out here!” It was Donnie.

“What do you need?!”

“Just get out here and I’ll explain everything!”

Growling and grumbling, Mikey took the krang and threw it into his drawer, wedging a plastic magic wand (Leo’s, he should really return it) against the handle so it was locked. He took a couple breaths before going out there again, knowing he’d need to act as calm as he could. Mikey didn’t know much about the situation he was thrust in, but he did know one thing.

He couldn’t let his brothers find out about the krang.

[next]

#rottmnt #save rise of the tmnt #krang pie #rottmnt fic

[kurlyfrasier]

Terrified: Part 9 (final)

Raph x Reader

Synopsis: Raph saves you from ruffians one night in an alley after watching out for you for weeks without you knowing. Which leads you to getting to know the guys and becoming part of the family. But Raph keeps a distance and you don’t understand why. 

Word Count: 1364

Warnings: happy, happy, happy!

*A/N: I just realized I made an error....reader has a roommate and I wrote somewhere that reader lost their apartment. Let’s all pretend reader’s friend had no choice but to find a roommate so friend had to kick them out since reader lost their job. (hopefully that all made sense) Please and thank you! 

Also, this fic got so outta hand! It was originally supposed to be a one-shot, then it morphed, then it became a black hole, and now...well this is the end! I’m sorry if this feels rushed for any of you, I needed to stop before I ended up killing somebody off and had them haunting the lair lol Granted, that would be a good fic...

PLEASE ENJOY & THANK YOU FOR READING THIS ROLLER COASTER OF A FIC! :D you have all been fantastic.

“Okay,” you chirped, playing with the ends of Raph’s bandana. You sounded happy. Too happy. Especially considering you had looked a little frightened a moment ago.

Raph raised his head to find a toothy grin on your face. He squinted up at you suspiciously.

You noticed and let your face fall like it was minutes ago.

“What?”

He didn’t respond as he thought over everything he had said. What was it that made you smile?

“Ya seem…,” Raph switched tactics. “I expected ya ta argue.”

“About?”

“Gettin’ good sleep-”

“Well, I do feel exhausted. I couldn’t sleep cos I was worried something bad might happen to you,” you explained.

“Eatin’ betta-”

“I promise I will try. But I’m really not hungry. And food hurts,” you pouted.

“Bein’ glued ta my side.”

Silence. Your eyes flitted up to the tv as you pretended not to hear him.

“Y/n,” Raph shook you slightly to get your attention, but you only gave him a quick glance. He stood, bringing you with him as he blocked your view of the tv. “I don’ think ya understand wha’ that entails, Swee’heart.”

“What, what entails?” You muttered quietly, looking down at the floor.

“Stickin’ to my side,” he gently lifted your chin, forcing eye contact. 

“Oh.”

“Yeah,” Raph continued to hold your gaze. “It means no video games with Mikey unless I’m there. No science experiments with Donnie unless I’m in the room with ya. No meditating for hours with Leo, cos we both know I don’ do long meditation.”

“What about tea with Splinter?”

“I figure ya can drink tea with Sensei while I take care of personal needs.”

You nodded your understanding. Well, as much as Raph would allow with his finger under your chin.

“And last, but not least; hours upon hours of sittin’ in the dojo while I get back inta fightin’ shape.”

A flash of fear crossed over your features before you could hide it from him. If he hadn’t been boring into your eyes, looking for any tell tale sign of what was really going on in your pretty little head, he would have missed it. 

“And ya still not gonna argue ‘bout it, huh?” He continued as the gears turned in his head. Which word, exactly, had you scared?

Then it clicked.

Fighting.

You were afraid of him going topside again.

“Is that what this is all about?” Raph questioned, still not letting go even though his grip tightened a tad.

It all started to make sense.

“What is wha-”

Why you didn’t argue.

“No, Princess,” he seethed. “Tell me you didn’t.”

Why you stopped eating.

“Didn’t wha-”

If you were glued to him.

“Stop eatin’ cos a me,” he growled.

Then he couldn’t go topside.

“Well- I, uh- I- No?” You slammed your eyes closed and a tear rolled down your sunken cheek.

And if he couldn’t go topside.

“Ya put yerself in danger!” He finally ripped his hand out from under your chin as his voice echoed beyond the room.

Then he was stuck in the lair. 

“I’m not in dange-” He shook your hand away when you reached for his arm.

Where he couldn’t get hurt.

~~~~~~~~~~~ 

To say I was scared was an understatement. Terrified didn’t even cover it. Petrified did. 

I was petrified. 

Raph had figured it out. Somehow. Some way. I could tell the moment it all clicked together. My plan failed. Utterly and completely. It didn’t even last a whole day! How was I supposed to keep him safe now?

“Yes, ya are!” Raph shouted, exasperated.

“No! I’m fine! See?” I sobbed out, motioning to myself as if I hadn’t lost the weight. As if I had been sleeping fine.

“Ya not fine!” He started pacing like earlier, fists clenched. “Ya sick! Ya hurtin’ yerself!” Raph boomed louder than I had ever heard. “Yer killin’ yerself, Y/n,” he choked out, his back facing me as I watched him fall to his knees, head in his hands.

It broke my heart.

I never meant for this.

I never meant to-

“Don’tcha see?” He mumbled through his hands, a tremble to his normally confident voice. 

I quickly made my way in front of him to wrap my arms around his neck. 

“Yer my life,” he pulled me so close it hurt, soaking my shirt with his silent tears. “Yer everything. I couldn’ live without ya. I couldn’ bear it. There’d be no point in fightin’ if ya weren’ around, Swee’heart.”

“Then what about me?” I sniffled, unable to stop my own tears- happy- sad- frustrated tears- from flowing. “You almost died! If you had-”

“Don’t say it,” he rasped, sqeezing me a little tighter, effectively shutting me up.

“You think I could live without you?” I asked him, lightly pulling on his bandana tails, silently asking him to look at me. 

He did. And those glassy eyes tore at my heart once more.

“I know ya can,” he whispered roughly. “Ya don’ need a freak like me in ya life.”

“Yes I do!” I bawled out. “Quite literally, Raph. Those guys would’ve killed me the night we met.”

His gaze hardened at the memory.

“You literally saved my life,” I gave him my most tender smile. “Who else is going to protect me, if not you?”

~~~~~~~~~~

Your words were like music to Raph’s ears. His heart soared at the thought of you even feeling an inkling about him the way he did about you. Vaguely, he knew you felt the same, especially with that spark in your eye and that little smile tugging at your lips. His heart melted at the realization.

“I though-” he cleared his throat before continuing. “I thought I scared ya tha’ night in the alley.”

“What gave you that idea?” You asked gently, rubbing small circles on his shoulder.

“Yer were always so fidgety ‘round me,” he shrugged, trying to hide how much that really hurt all those months.

“That’s because you hardly said a word to me! Not to mention you only looked at me to check for injuries-”

“Ya really think tha’s what I was really doin?” Raph smirked up at your shocked expression.

“Oh…”

~~~~~~~~~~~

Raph had done exactly what he had promised over the next several weeks. He never let you out of his sight. He made sure you slept a good eight hours each night. He cooked and fed you- making doubly sure you didn’t go retch it up.

It was a long, arduous journey to get your appetite back, but you did your best. Every great once in a while you couldn’t help but empty your stomach. Raph stuck with you through it all. Held your hair back, wiped you down with a cool cloth, and made sure you knew it was going to get better- that it just takes time- as he rocked you to sleep. 

Most of your time was spent in the dojo as Raph got back into “fighting shape,” just like he said. He even made you train with him once you started eating better. He said it would be good for you. That it was healthy for you- more than just physically. After each session he would assure you that he would be more careful when he got to go topside again. That he would try not to do anything too stupid. You believed him. You really did. But that didn’t mean you worried any less. Plus, you were coming to terms with the fact that he would never stop his vigilante work. You couldn’t blame him, not really. His brothers needed him. The city needed him. It was part of who he was and you wouldn’t change that for the world.

Even if the thought of him going topside did still terrify you deep in your bones.

Needless to say, you were happier than you’ve ever been.You were in the best shape of your life. You got your job back and chose to stay living in the lair with the man of your dreams. When your demons came back to haunt you, your new family chased them away.

You were loved.

You were happy.

And you couldn’t imagine anything better.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

To those who have an eating disorder,

You are beautiful. You are loved. Please eat! Your friends and family worry about you. They love you, even if they don’t show it well. I worry about you! I love you! Please stop hurting yourself! Please! Fight those demons! YOU ARE STRONG. YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL. YOU ARE WONDERFUL.

Those people who made you believe you were anything less than what you are, are WRONG. They are jealous and petty and cruel. If people told you what you are doing won’t hurt you- that it’s healthy- they are WRONG. DO NOT LISTEN TO THEM. You may not know this, but this disorder- this demon- can KILL you. I, personally, do not want you to die.

Please, I beg of you to listen to that tiny voice in the back of your mind that whispers you will beat this. That you will win. That you are gorgeous. That you will be happy again.

If you can’t hear that voice then listen to your family and friends who are there for you. Who care about you. Who encourage you. Who love you.

If you can’t fight for yourself, then fight for them until you can.

With all my love,

KurlyFrasier

P.S. If you ever need an ear, I’m here. Please, do not be afraid to ask for help. We all have our demons to fight.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Want to read more by me? Masterlist

#tmnt #fanfic #raph x reader #tmnt fanfic #raph #leo #donnie #mikey #splinter #FINALLY a happy ending #eating disorder #bulimia #anorexia #sad #angst #happy #struggle #fight #ask for help

[starpotionz]

Headcanon rottmnt, the boys all crush on the same person and they find out, what happens? How do they deal? (Spill the juicy drama).

I'm so sorry this took so long! I've just been stumped with my Junior year, getting a new job, Rise ENDING, and me doing anything I can to support THIS BEAUTIFUL SHOW!! Anyway, I'm working on my other requests too so be on the look out y'all, hope you enjoy!

At first they were all super confused how were they all crushing on the same person 'What do you mean you like Y/N, I like Y/N!' Which lead to lots of arguing, someone hits someone and it turns into a big fight.

Splinter leaving the projector room hears the screeching of the four boys. Deciding to be a good dad, he broke up the fight to ask why they were fighting this time only to be overwhelmed by all four boys yelling at once.

Raph was confused, Donnie was pissed, Leo thought the whole thing was stupid, and Mikey thought it was unfair. After voicing out their opinions they immediately start brawling again as Splinter just sighed at his sons' teenage drama.

The next week all four of them had been trying to beat the others in wooing you. Raph kept getting you cute gifts like stuffed animals that made you smile. Donnie upgraded every single piece of tech you owned. Leo did anything he could to make you laugh and Mikey kept taking you around the city to paint/graffiti walls.

You quickly noticed how clingy they were all being, even Donnie was being clingy which meant something was wrong. It kinda scared you to be honest.

It took a few days of the boys being clingy as fuck for you realize what was actually going on. (Well April had ' accidentally' told you but what's the difference) You decided that you wanted to hear it straight from their mouths, so you went to the lair.

You found them all in the screening room just vibing well they were until you walked in. The moment the boys saw you they immediately started fighting. Annoyed with their constant brawls when your around you silence them "I know you all have a crush on me."

They frozen mid fight just staring blankly at you the older three quickly spewing out 'NO!' and 'WHAT DO YOU MEAN?'. Until Mikey said what had been on their minds for weeks. "It's true!" He cried switching into Dr. Delicate Touch "Y/N we all REALLY like you. And like we all really wanna be your boyfriend."

You smiled laughing at how cute his response was. The older three were still silent looking at you with pleading eyes waiting for an answer/response. You jut stood there silently for a few minutes watching them until Leo piped up "So like are you gonna choose one of us or...."

Realizing you haven't said anything, you flushed apologizing for being rude. Straightening out your jacket calming your nerves you gently replied "Actually I'd like it if all of you were my boyfriend. Well boyfriends technically"

"WHAT!?! "

This was SO FUN AGH! I also wrote almost all of this in class👀. But anyway, thanks for the request! I'm currently working on my other ones and my latest oneshot 'Subway Stops' for our favorite Donatello. Thanks for reading 🤗

#rottmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rise of the tmnt #teenage mutant ninja turtles #tmnt #rottmnt x reader #rottmnt leo #rottmnt mikey #rottmnt raph #rottmnt donnie #rottmnt headcannons #michelangelo x reader #leonardo x reader #donatello x reader #raphael x reader #rottmnt deserved better! #save rottmnt #request

[clownistyping]

Hello Elizabeth! Do you mind if I send you some tmnt request? Those guys are usually the ones saving people, so how about this time someone saves them? Like maybe they got ambushed by foot clan or something?

I don't mind at all and actually want them! I'm assuming you want the reader to save the bros lol. Also I have no idea how someone could take on like...more than 5 footclan members and be a human being. Bc I sure can't. So I may go a bit weird. also idk if u want bayverse but I love bayverse so u get bayverse.

Readers gender is: Tired. (Gender neutral)

You were peacefully buried yourself deep into your blankets as your soft white noise machine played and your dreams were soft of you having a picnic in the park. Only for it to be cut short by; grunting, yelling, swords? 

You sat up, sighing you turned on your light and got out of safe haven. Unsure of where the sound was coming from, you checked the living room. Nothing. Kitchen, empty. Bathroom, dripping faucet but no swords. 

Leaving the bathroom you hummed, shrugging the sound off as a neighbors TV you went back to bed, light off, eyes shut, dreamland doors opening.

And they slammed right in your face. Sitting up again you looked right at your window, now slightly agitated you slammed your window open. 

The fighting sounds were much louder, and you looked down at the alley way. Being on the third floor wasn't that bad, you could easily see the ground, but it was still dark. 

"HEY! QUIET THE FUCK DOWN! PEOPLE ARE TRYNA SLEEP!" You yelled, staring down at the shadowy figures who all paused. 

You heard footsteps quickly running and you just rolled your eyes, turning around you sat on the windowsill now fully awake at 4 AM. You feel cursed since you have a shift tomorrow at a the Stone Pizza Palor.

Only to jump from the window when the fire escape shook from behind you. 

"Hey thanks for the save!" A voice called and you went stiff, what the fuck. 

"Mikey! Get down from there!" Another voice called from below, and slowly you turned to face the voices. Sighing internally that you couldn't see the person's face. You stayed right where you are. 

"Chill out bro, I'm just givin my thanks!" The voice, who you can assume is 'Mikey' laughed. 

"Um uh...you guys were keeping me awake..so I had to. But um no problem?" You said, 

"Oh sorry about that, just was protecting the city like bam and punch!" You couldn't see the movements he was making but assumed they were action poses, but right in the middle of a pose the fire escape shook again. Another person joined Mikey. 

"Mikey, what the hell do ya think ya doin'?" The voice was rough. 

"Owowow! Raph come on man! Just bein a good  samaritan, man!" 

"You don't even know what that means." As the two argued you slowly backed up, reaching for your lamp you switched it on. Your eyes went wide. 

"Aw shit." The one called 'Raph' muttered and Mikey waved, you could only stay stiff as you finally realized that you were not talking to humans, or even bodybuilders. 

You were talking to two giant...green things...you don't know what they are exactly…

"Are they okay?" 

"Cours' they ain't, they did just see our ugly mugs!" The one wearing red yelled and managed his way into your bedroom. He pointed a finger at you. 

"You. If you eva tell anyone about thi-" 

"Raph!" Another voice spoke making you gain consciousness again and sit on your bed in shock. 

Mikey joined the bedroom, sitting near you with a smile that made you unable to blink. Then ANOTHER turtle joined the room, not even asking for permission. This one wearing blue, 

"How many times do I have to tell you-" 

"I know Leo, don't threaten, maim, harm or harass any humans. But hey, not my fault I'm defensive!" The red one argued. The other one wearing blue, named Leo, held his face and groaned. 

"Well technically it's Mikey's fault for this stranger seeing us, I mean he did come up to their window. We could've just left before they called the cops on us." Another voice said from the window, a head peaked in. This one, wearing purple and large glasses. Mikey just shrugged, not even defending himself. 

"Hi, I'm Donnie." He said with a wave and you just sighed. Suddenly all eyes were on you, 

"Please tell me this is some dream I'm having after binge watching monster movies." 

Mikey laughed, 

"This is real, dude!" He said with a smile that didn’t help the situation at all. 

"He's right, this is all real-" Leo tried to speak, 

"Come on, we coulda just knocked their ass out and left!" 

"Raph no!" As the red and blue argued, the purple one 'Donnie' slipped inside. Well not slipped he did struggle because of the gear on his back, 

"Plus dreams can't get that complex based on things you see in real life. So yes, sadly, this is true. Also sorry for keeping you up." 

"So what are you four gonna do now, kill me or something?" You said, Mikey shook his head. 

"Nah man that's against our code." He put his fist and palm together and bowed, 

"We're ninjas." He smiled, Donnie added on. 

"And we're teens." 

"We're fucking mutants." The red one snapped, turning back to the blue one, 

"But we're not monsters, we're just turtles." Leo tried to lighten the mood with a smile but by then you were too tired to care. 

"And now, we are forever in your debt!" Mikey said, getting on one knee he held your hand. You quickly pulled it back and made a confused face. 

"What- why?" 

"Because you totally saved us, dude! You scared away those bad guys who were totally kickin' our asses!" 

"Mikey!" Raph tried to defend himself but Mikey stopped him, 

"Sorry, butt." 

You stood up and sighed, 

"Listen you are not in debt to me, none of you are. I just wanted some sleep, I always yell out that window, well..mainly at crackheads..never at..giant..turtle boys." 

"Men." Mikey winked and you blinked, 

"No," you shook your head, "listen if you all just leave, right now, I won't tell a soul. Not even a stray cat. Alright?" The turtles hummed, 

"Deal but. If you tell anyone. We will find you." Leo said his finger almost in your face and you rose a brow, 

"Ya, you know where I live. I expect that." His finger curled away and he blinked, then he shook his head and left through the window. 

Then it was Donnie, Raph and Mikey. Who sat in the windowsill. He looked at you, 

"Wait, I have a question." 

"What is it?" 

"Why..why aren't you scared of us?" 

"I live in fucking New York City, I see shit like you guys everyday. You're not the first mutants I've met." You said, and Mikey then smiled with joy and shock. 

"Awesome, I'll catch ya later dude!" He waved and suddenly he disappeared. You stared out the window, watching as Mikey joined his brothers telling them of what you said. While you couldn't hear them, you know that you're bound to meet them again. 

#tmnt leo #tmnt raph #tmnt #tmnt 2014 #tmnt 2016 #tmnt michelangelo #tmnt donnie #tmnt x reader #tmnt imagines #gn!reader #leonardo x reader #raphael x reader #michelangelo x reader #donnatello x reader

[davids-cartoon-corkboard]

Do you think that if Shredder!Raph will occur in rottmnt, the aftermath might result in Raph inheriting some of Shredder’s rage even after saved? Maybe that is how the crew is going to implement Raph’s trademark temper throughout previous generations and maybe even make him have to step down due to it, making Leo the new leader?

Short answer: “Inheriting the rage of a centuries-old demon" is a dope-ass idea, so if you’re a writer I would definitely encourage you to use that in your own stuff. But I think that if Raph’s temper worsens throughout the show, it should be because of his own character development and not a magical effect. However, a Shredder!Raph scenario could contribute to said worsening temper by inflicting emotional/psychological damage instead. :)

Long answer ahoy!

Looking at “Many Unhappy Returns” from the Shredder’s perspective makes it very clear why he does what he does. Like, he’s been dead for five hundred years, and then something went wrong with his resurrection. He’s waking up with no idea where he is or what’s going on and oh shit those guys are pointing weapons at him, that’s a threat!

Note that he doesn’t even bolt for them immediately, he does a warning stomp and screech (back off!) before starting to approach.

Those other guys are yelling, that’s also a threat,

and they’re closer so he’s gonna attack them first, actually. (None of the Foot wind up even comically injured, suggesting that flailing them around was an intimidation tactic rather than genuine Murderous Intent.)

And then the first group attacks, so of course he’s going to retaliate.

And then suddenly he’s somewhere else, with other threats (the animatronics), and then the first group that attacked him is back, so he’s gonna fight them again.

And these jerks just keep following him? He’s not going to ignore that. And WOW that’s a lot of bright lights and loud noises, which are also threats, what the fuck is going on?!

And then this tiny human girl chucks a giant metal box at him, holy SHIT?! Sure, the Shredder is a dangerous antagonist, but at this point I wouldn’t call him a “bad guy”, he’s literally just responding to what’s happening to him.

In summary, the Shredder was stressed tf out because he didn’t know where he was or what was happening, he retaliated against perceived threats, and quite possibly wouldn’t have attacked the turtles in the first place if they hadn’t just rushed in without understanding the situation.

Gosh, doesn’t that sound familiar?

So yeah, I’m waiting for Rise to give us that good good Shredder!Raph content.

As for the possibility of Leo taking over afterwards... no, but also yes, sort of? On the one hand, we know that Leo does have leadership capabilities, and it would be a waste for the narrative to not explore that. On the other hand, Rise has broken from the status quo in many ways, and it would also be a waste for the show to do a complete 180 and return to Leo Being The Leader™.

Consider how the “leader” role has influenced Leo in past iterations: his perfectionism wears on him and his brothers, any failure tanks his self-esteem, he feels isolated from the rest due to taking on such a large share of responsibility, being an authority figure grinds everyone’s gears, etc. It’s just bad for his mental health.

No doubt all this responsibility will also wear on Rise!Raph as the story progresses and the stakes get higher. It will be bad for him as well. But if Raph steps down, Leo will once again suffer from the weight of this role. So if neither option is quite correct, if neither brother can shoulder the burden of leadership alone, then the solution is just... for neither of them to shoulder the burden of leadership alone. Sure, Raph will probably remain leader in title and in spirit, but Leo taking on a sort of “deputy” role makes sense from a strategic standpoint, and would be good for his character development.

Here’s how I think it could go down:

The Shredder!Raph scenario will be different from the Shredder!Draxum scenario. The Shredder was starved for mystic energy the first time around, so he immediately chewed Draxum up and spit him out. But Raph could be compared more to a battery than a meal; it will take a while for the Shredder to drain him. And at this point the Shredder could be back in “evil samurai” mode, and thus will understand the value of holding Raph hostage.

Y’all who have followed my blog for a bit know about my “Raph is a system” theory; that when he was little, he got separated from his family and pursued by some cryptid hunter. This trauma formed Savage Raph, who is able to handle “being lost/alone/threatened” when Host Raph cannot. “Pizza Puffs” didn’t give us a lot of info about who I’m calling “Red Raph”, but he made his presence known when Host Raph was sort of... "emotionally alone”? In that his brothers were dying a little bit and too stoned to care.

So if Raph is trapped inside a living cage, scared and helpless and hurt and exhausted, his family unable to help him... he’s not going to be able to handle it.

Or, rather, Host Raph isn’t going to be able to handle it.

These two can, though.

I’m imagining a scene in the mindscape where the Shredder says something like “Your pathetic family cannot bear to strike you down, and so there is nothing that can stand in m- wait, why are there three of you OW FUCK-” Red and Savage will mentally kick his ass long enough for the other turtles to rip off a chunk of the armor so Leo can portal it into another dimension or something. Shredder gets K.O.’d since he’s not whole anymore, and the battle is won.

Since the armor didn’t drain Raph as severely as it did Draxum, he won’t become as weak as Draxum did. However, it will still take him some time to recover. Raph trusts Leo in serious moments as of “Many Unhappy Returns”, and he already took charge when Raph wasn’t available back in “Man vs. Sewer”. So Raph will be like, “Hey Leo, can you handle the Mad Dogs for a bit? Just long enough for me to get back on my feet.” And Leo will be like, “Sure bro, I’ve got this.”

He does not, in fact, “got this”. Leo’s ego has caused trouble before (”Shell in a Cell”, “Minotaur Maze”), and being in charge will no doubt go to his head. This has the potential for both comedy and seriousness, leading to wacky mishaps and genuine danger. Being the leader is hard work and it’s not always fun, but someone has to do it and Leo will have to put the others before himself for it to get done. Once Leo realizes this, he could bond with Raph by asking for his advice on leadership. Sometimes Leo will follow the advice and sometimes he won’t, sometimes that will work out and sometimes it won’t, laying the foundation for the idea that there are situations where it will be better for one or the other to lead, rather than having one lead all the time. But that will only happen for a few episodes, because Raph will heal quickly and he’ll be the leader again and everything will be fine!

Everything will not, in fact, be fine. Raph is the strongest in the family, the tank, the one who can take a hit so the smaller ones don’t have to... the idea of being hurt, of being weak, scares him because his family is also in danger if he’s unwell. So I don’t think he’ll acknowledge to anyone, not even himself, that getting possessed hurt him emotionally as well as physically. And when a wound isn’t acknowledged, it doesn’t get tended to, and when a wound isn’t tended to, it gets worse.

That he’s a system will add another layer of complexity to this. The Shredder!Raph incident would make all the alters aware of each other via mindscape shenanigans, but it would also leave them with the fear of not being in control, so I think they’ll come in conflict with each other for a bit. They’ll argue with themselves, switch, and lose time more often, enough that it impedes their ability to function and the other characters start to notice something is wrong.

Host Raph will convince himself that Everything Is Fine and try to get things “back to normal”, which probably means he’s just straight-up not going to acknowledge that he's a system. He’ll rationalize that he’s always “gotten weird” from time to time, so it’s nothing to think too hard about... right?

Savage Raph will be on high alert because they just survived a near-death (a near soul-destroying) experience. He’ll probably take the front and go overboard fighting some villains that Host Raph could have ordinarily fought on his own. It might also take a while to convince Savage Raph that these “sewer monsters” who keep following him around really don’t mean him any harm.

Red Raph will get snappy (pardon the pun) about the more social aspect of “not being in control”; that Host Raph asked Leo to be in charge and then Leo started being an egotistical dumbass. And when Leo does make the right decisions, Donnie and Mikey might side with him over Raph, and that will also grind his gears.

Mix all that together and you have a recipe for a capital b Breakdown.

So yeah, I can definitely see how the Shredder!Raph incident and its aftermath would worsen all three of their tempers, trauma will fuck up your emotions real bad. Perhaps Host Raph loses faith in himself and tries to step down and get Leo to replace him as leader... only for Leo to be like “Bro I cannot do this full time I will one hundred percent have my own Breakdown if that happens.”

The life lessons here are that Leo learns to offer support by sometimes taking the leader role; not to benefit his own ego, but because he wants to help Raph. And Raph learns to accept support by letting Leo be in charge sometimes; not because he’s weak or incapable, but because he can’t always be a Staunch Immovable Rock and he needs to let himself rest by trusting Leo.

And then the Raphs can work on communicating, cooperating, letting their allies know about them, digging into their trauma, etc. now that they have some breathing room.

(Do you think the Hidden City has therapists? Steven Universe and Mao Mao both have therapists can we BLEASE get one for Raph.)

#Anonymous #rottmnt #rottmnt theory #rottmnt raph #rottmnt leo #rottmnt shredder #shredder!raph #savage raph #red raph #there's like 1800 words here holy shit #if anyone wants to do fic for this u have my blessing to go hog wild #the 'raph is a system' theory

[limeblood-exe]

A Singular, Bloody Mattress (part 2)

So much fluff, you guys, it’s tooth-rutting. And a lil bit of Raph angst, too because why not. Ok, but it’s also mainly fluff. Enjoy!

He can’t sleep. It’s three in the morning, and Raph lies completely awake, staring at the cracks in his bedroom ceiling.

Out of all of his brothers, Raph has no problem sleeping. Mikey might have the occasional bad dream or he might stay awake playing video games or doing art, but for the most part Mikey has taken to heart Raph’s lectures about needing to get a good amount of sleep each night. “It’s important for a growing, young turtle,” he had explained. However, he wishes that his other younger brothers would have taken that advice. 

Donnie and Leo are Raph’s headaches when it comes to making sure all of his brothers are taking care of themselves. Donnie has an even worse habit of staying up too late, but it’s mostly because he gets so absorbed with a new project that time passes without his knowing. It’s common for Raph to find Donnie either passed out on his worktable in his lab, or stumbling into the kitchen for a cup of coffee. But while his younger brother does stay up late occasionally, he enjoys sleep probably the most out of any of them, so it’s easy for Raph to convince his brother to sleep (convincing, as in Raph mentions the time to Donnie, who replies with “Wow, would you look at that,” and then promptly sleeps for the next twelve hours).

And Leo just doesn’t sleep sometimes. Honestly, just even knowing the fact that Leo has insomnia was actually discovered from pure luck. Raph didn’t even know his brother was having problems with sleep until he accidentally came across him on his way to the bathroom just hanging out in the family room, binging some Jupiter Jim films. 

He tried to talk to Leo about it, but every instance he brought it up his brother had an annoying ability of dodging the topic. Finally, with Raph having to resort to the “I’m gonna tell Splinter” card, he had admitted that sometimes he has issues falling asleep, but that it wasn’t anything to worry about, and he would let them know if it got worse. So Raph had agreed to let it go with that promise in mind. That didn’t stop him from staying up a couple of nights spying on his brother just to make sure the problem didn’t, in fact, get worse. He never saw Leo leave his room those nights, so he either must have gotten through his sleep drought or knew Raph was watching him and used his portals to secretly escape his big brother’s view.

He doesn’t know which one it was, to be honest.

And he feels he should have done more, Raph comes to realize, because this whole “not being able to sleep” thing is just awful. The stinging sensation in his eyes, the restlessness of both mind and body. He can’t understand how Leo would try to hide this instead of just asking them for help. He has no idea how long Leo might have been suffering from insomnia, but one night and already Raph feels like splitting his bed in half, despairing that sleep has slipped from his clutches.

But he's no fool, he knows the cause of why he is not currently sleeping. 

It's because of the fact that his aforementioned brother is currently holed up in their infirmary.

No matter what he tries, Raph can’t stop thinking about what had happened just a couple days prior. They had come so close, too close, to losing their brother. Not just when they were cornered by their enemies; as soon as they got back home, it was a fight to keep their brother alive, restoring his lost blood with blood donations from Mikey, who argued that he wanted to do it, he wanted to feel helpful, and stitching together torn skin and shell.

He was fine, though. Damned lucky, their father had said, but he managed to pull through.

And yeah, they cried when he opened his eyes for the first time since they got back home, but that doesn’t matter. What mattered was that their team had not been reduced to three.

Leo is gonna be fine, things are heading back to normal; so how come Raph can't stop thinking about how useless he felt during the entire ordeal?

Sitting up abruptly, Raph decides that staring at the ceiling isn't gonna help him get any sleep. 

He leaves his room quietly so as to not disturb any of his brothers, who desperately need the rest just as much as he does, and departs for the kitchen. He's thirsty, so it seems like a reasonable first destination. 

He walks mindlessly, his mind swallowed by too many thoughts.

Water sounds nice, maybe that’s what I need. A glass of cool water, and I’ll head back to bed, Raph thought to himself. 

Entering the room, he turns on the light, looking for the fridge hoping to find-

This is not the kitchen. An easy discovery, what with the lack of kitchen essentials and instead he sees humming machines, a curtain, an occupied bed-

Ah, he’s in the infirmary. Without thinking, his feet had unconsciously brought him here.

He immediately slaps the light switch off, worried he woke his brother from his needed rest. He hadn’t meant to come in here; he didn't want to be in here. Not right now. He’s supposed to be trying to keep his mind off things.

He can just go back, he didn’t hear his brother wake up; didn’t hear a groan or even a peep, so there would be no harm in him just walking away.

But he might as well check that Leo is asleep as he’s already here and all; he does have a track record of hiding any of his sleep issues.

Raph pads to the side of the bed, spotting his brother cocooned in a hill of blankets. The only parts of him he clearly can see are his head and his arm that sticks out, dangling over the edge of the bed. Raph lays his hand on Leo’s chest, feeling the rise and fall of his steady and constant breathing. Raph can't see them right now, but he's painfully aware of the large swath of bandages that cover his middle.

Content that his brother is indeed asleep, he grasps Leo's dangling arm (noting he has one of Donnie’s techy bracelets strapped to his wrist, most likely monitoring his vitals) in his gentle hold, and positions it back in his warm bundle. Tucking his brother in, he smiles softly before he makes his way to the kitchen to grab something to drink.

"Raph?" a soft voice mumbles before he even takes a single step, and he definitely did not give a little yell of surprise, no matter what Leo says.

"Leo! Sorry," Raph u-turns instantly and puts a hand on his brother's head, patting it gently like a parent would to a kid. "I didn’t wake you, did I?"

"You did," Leo gives a jaw-cracking yawn before he continues, talking into his pillow, Raph straining his ears to hear him, "but it’s fine. I feel like I’ve been asleep for too long anyway."

"That’s pretty normal, and you’re gonna have to get used to it. It’s going to be awhile before you’re back to normal, buddy," And the events of that night once again rush to the forefront of Raph's mind. He looks to the ground, unable to look his brother in the eye, afraid that Leo will see through his eyes and read his thoughts.

"Huh? What is it?" Leo looks more alert due to the seriousness his face had suddenly morphed to, struggling weakly in his blankets to lean up against his pillow.

“It’s nothing. Don’t worry about it.”

Leo squints up at him with a disapproving look. Like he’s gonna believe that for a second.

“Now, why don’t I believe that? Are you lying to me, bro?”

"No-it’s just-I’m not lying to you,” Deflating under Leo’s sharp glare, Raph nervously rubs his hand together, gathering the courage to speak. 

“…Back then, I couldn't do anything. I'm supposed to be the leader, Leo, and I did nothing." His face scrunches, and his hands clenching together in a show of anger. "And I'm… I'm sorry, Leo. I’m sorry that I couldn't protect you."

Raph would expect his brother to do many things after his revelation; make a joke to lighten the mood, ignore the apology altogether, saying something along the lines of “please don’t embarrass yourself by talking any longer”, etc. He did not expect for his brother to grab his wrist suddenly and pull him close to the edge of the bed, and with one large motion, wraps his arms around Raph’s neck. If he wasn’t too shocked, he would have admonished Leo for moving around so much, since he just got mortally wounded, but the hug feels so good at the moment that all he can do, all he wants to do, is hug his brother back.

“I don’t blame you Raph, you don’t have to ever apologize for something like this,” Leo comforts. His voice is gentle and kind and so unlike Leo’s usual carefree tone that Raph lays one of his hands on the back of Leo’s head checking for a fever.

Not finding one, he buries his face in his younger brother’s shoulder, and Raph has to choke down the sudden lump in his throat to softly mutter, “But I should’ve done, you know, more. I’m the eldest, it’s my job to protect you guys. And at that moment, I failed. And it’s not just that, I couldn’t come up with a plan. My mind felt so gooey and slow and I just-because of that I put you at serious risk, Leo. If you couldn’t-if you didn’t-”

“But I did. And stop putting all the blame on yourself,” Leo adds. “If you wanna play the blame-game, then I think I gotchu beat.”

“No, you don’t.”

“Yes, I do. We wouldn’t have even been in that situation in the first place had I never gotten hurt. I let my guard down, Raph, and I paid the price for it. And so did all of you.”

“That’s not fair, Leo. You couldn’t have known that those paper guys would have been any more dangerous than the ones we’ve already fought before,” Raph pulls apart their hug, going into his lecturing mode. “You can’t blame yourself for everything that happened.”

“But that’s what I’m saying. It was a sucky situation, so you can’t blame yourself as our leader when things go bad, because it’s not just on you. We’re a team, and we’ll fail together as a team.”

While bleak sounding, it sparks an understanding in Raph.

We’ll fail together as a team.

He understands where Leo is coming from. He always thought that the pressure of failing would be on his shoulders alone; he’s the leader, and a good leader takes responsibility. A good leader would know better than to lead their team to their deaths. 

But a good leader would also know that you can’t win every fight. Raph doesn’t want to accept that as a possibility, he might never be able to, but he can know where he stands when it does.

He’s lost this argument, so Raph just slowly nods. He still feels like he could’ve done better, and he knows it might take awhile before he accepts what Leo had to say, but he feels relieved, the burden of feeling so alone lifted from his shoulders.

Raph, thickly says, "Thank you, Leo."

"Anytime, brother." Leo replies. As Raph rubs at his eyes, clearing away beading tears, Leo adds, "Now, pay up."

"What? What do you mean?" Raph asks, confused. Leo sticks out his quivering lips, his eyes pouting upwards. Leo raises his arms towards Raph, his hands making a grabby motion in the air.

"Carry me."

"What? No! Why would I do that?"

“Because I’m bored! I’ve been lying here for, what has it been, three days?”

“Just two, actually.”

“My point being! I need a change of scenery.”

“Uhh, but you’ve been sleeping for the past couple of days? How can the scenery bother you when you're not awake to see it. Besides, you’re still recovering.”

"Oh, come on! That's not fair, and you know it. I'm healing just fine," Leo doesn't give up and increases his efforts to be held, mimicking a petulant child demanding attention. "Please, Raphie, I don't like the infirmary."

"No."

"Pleaaaase-"

"Alright, fine!"

Leo laughs victoriously as Raph leans down to pick up his brother. Leo wraps his arms around Raph's broad neck, and his big brother puts his arms behind Leo's back and beneath his knees, making sure to do so around his blanket as well. He doesn’t want his brother getting cold, after all.

Straightening his back, Raph glares disapprovingly at Leo, who just smiles happily in return, snuggling his cheek against the dip between Raph's plastron and his neck.

"Where am I going exactly?"

"Anywhere is fine."

"Uh-huh."

Raph is convinced that Leo made a big fuss just to be held, but who is he to deny his brothers want they want. After all, it wasn’t just Raph that went through a tough ordeal. If Leo wants to be held, it's the least Raph can do.

With the choice being left to Raph, he decides that the family room is the perfect spot and makes his way there.

Leo begins to doze in his hold, snuggling close to the heat of his brother.

Why would he need a change of scenery if he was just gonna fall asleep anyway.

Raph doesn't have it in him to wake him back up, so he sits cross-legged on the floor as soon as he arrives and holds his breathing brother close.

This was not how Raph thought his night was gonna go, with Leo asleep in his lap and the night continuing to tick by. Content regardless, Raph rests his chin on top Leo's head, appreciating the living movements of his brother: his breaths, his sleepy snorts, his leg twitches, they're all proof that he's alive.

Being up so late and having the comfort of his younger sibling close, Raph feels himself starting to doze off as well, imagining the swell of sleep that would finally overcome him. Ready for the bliss of sleep to take him, the thundering of distant footsteps startles him to full alert mode. With the frantic, but familiar, steps coming closer Raph looks to see none other than Donnie rounding the doorway, whipping his head around in search of something. Spotting the two of them on the floor, Donnie rushes forward.

"Is Leo ok?!" Donnie asks.

Taken aback by the urgency in Donnie’s voice, he says, "Uhh, yeah. He’s fine.” Looking down at his dozing brother as if to confirm his own statement, he looks back to Donnie as Leo sleepily mutters into his chest. “He's sleeping right now, so if you could be quiet, Donald." Raph slightly scolds Donnie for his loud shout. 

"Wha-excuse me!" Donnie, offended by his brother's admonishment, stares incredulously at his only older brother. "I just thought, you know, that something must've happened, Raphael, with my tech informing me that one of Leo's stats changed. I had gone to check on him when, to my surprise, he is nowhere to be found."

Oh. That would explain Donnie’s panic. The tech bracelet on Leo’s wrist was meant to monitor his well-being, so of course Donnie would have had any sort of change being directly messaged to his own wrist-band, alerting him if anything were to happen. That must have included his sleep cycle, and with Leo awake long enough to have a conversation with Raph, he was awake long enough for Donnie to be alerted.

"Oh, my bad... Sorry, Donnie, I didn't know."

Donnie breathes a deep sigh, the act calming himself and he regains a more collected composure.

"It's fine, I was just worried that he did something stupid again, like trying to use the bathroom on his own when he can't even stand properly." He takes in the sight of his two brothers cuddling on the floor together, fully registering what's before him. "Um, but might I ask what you two are doing?"

"I couldn't sleep, and I think Leo was getting bored of the infirmary." He slightly shrugs his shoulders. "So, here we are."

"Bored of the infirmary? Does he not understand the whole concept of 'I nearly died and I should take it easy?'" Donnie crosses his arms, "I swear, sometimes I wonder where his head can be. He be just as bad as Mikey sometimes-"

Donnie pauses, leering suspiciously at Raph.

"Wait, what did you mean you couldn't sleep?"

"It means that I couldn't sleep, Donnie." That was before his talk with Leo, and as much as he loves his heart-to-hearts with his brothers, he doesn't feel it in him to do one more for tonight. "And besides, that was way earlier. I'm better now."

His brother just mm-hm's to himself. Donnie then joins Raph on the floor, sitting next to his side with his legs sprawled out in front of him. A moment passes as Raph waits patiently for Donnie to speak first. 

"Do you still want to talk about it? I'm up now, you might as well take advantage of having me all to yourself. Not many get the privilege of that, dear Raphael."

Raph gives a good natured eye-roll, but before he can give his own snarky response, someone beats him to the chase.

"Wow, conceited much?"

"Shut up. Aren't you supposed to be sleeping?" Donnie asks at the same time Raph mumbles to himself, "Are you ever asleep?"

Leo slowly morphs his face into a smirk, then replies simply with a cheery "Nope."

He continues to say, "And how can I? You guys keep waking me up. For once I have the chance to get a full night's rest, and you guys are ruining it."

His brothers have no argument to counter him with, so Leo counts that as a small victory.

“Well, speaking of sleep, I’m gonna go back to bed now that I know Leo's not gonna crack his head open on the toilet or something,” Donnie stands, stretching his arms above his head. “What are you gonna do?”

“Me and Leo are good here,” Raph says.

“You’re gonna stay like that? On the floor? Call me crazy, but that doesn't sound very comfortable, Raph.”

“Yeah, I know. But we’re already here, sooo.”

Donnie gives a thoughtful hmm, hand to his chin in a contemplating manner. After sometime, he raises a pointed finger to the ceiling, eyes bright with newfound determination.

“You know what, I actually have a brilliant idea. Hang tight, I’ll be right back.”

Curious as to what Donnie has planned, Raph complies with Donnie's order. He watches the descending back of his brother and wonders just what he has gotten himself into tonight. He grows impatient when minutes tick by, and even Leo starts to huff in annoyance, the waiting anticipation keeping him up.

Ten minutes later, Donnie reappears with a sleepy Mikey in tow, both loaded with pillows and blankets, which are so stacked it's nearly blocking their view.

"You didn't have to wake him up, Donnie."

Mikey just shakes his head, setting down his load by Raph’s feet.

"It's fine, Raph, no biggie. Dee told me we were gonna have a sleepover in the family room," Mikey smiles through an obnoxious yawn, laying out the blankets (some, Raph notices, are from his own room) to form a giant pile on the floor. "And I thought, ‘Oh, man! We haven’t had one in so long!’ It sounded nice, especially after everything that’s happened."

Now that Mikey mentioned it, they haven’t done this for a long time. They’ve been so busy dealing with the whole mutant outbreak that sleepovers kind of took a back-burner to their list of priorities.

Raph, with Leo in his arms, mumbling something he can't quite make out, moves to stand a distance away, making space for Donnie and Mikey as they prepare the rest of the room. 

Donnie and Mikey make quick work, busying themselves with preparing a blanket fort by using nearby objects to hold up the blankets, ranging from Splinter's recliner to using the projector as a tether for the fort's ceiling. And since this just so happens to be the genius and artist of the family, the fort they create is a mix of both their technical and artistic skills. 

The fort, while not only being huge, would put most other blanket forts to shame in just style alone.

Mikey suspends numerous low-lit strings of light on the ceiling, giving the fort a warm glow while Donnie works to construct the cushions and blankets on the floor to maximize their comfort. Throwing in a couple of stuffed animals along with some glow sticks they found in Raph's room, their blanket fort is complete.

Donnie grabs one end of a blanket, acting as a curtain for the entryway, while Mikey grabs the other and simultaneously they pull them back to reveal the inside of their new masterpiece with a bow. Raph “aah’s” at their display, entranced with the sight.  

Raph lays Leo in the middle of the fort, who sinks delightfully into the cottony bliss, exhaustion overtaking his body which has reached its limits for staying awake for so long. Mikey leaps into the fort and lands next to Leo, giving a mirthful shout as he immediately grabs one of the blankets covering his sleeping brother and bundles himself next to Leo, snuggling into his shoulder and wrapping his arms around one of his big brother’s.

“Be careful, Mikey,” Raph warns. Mikey would never intentionally hurt one of them, but Raph thinks it safe to at least warn his brother that Leo is still recovering from an injury.

“I know!"

Leo gives a little huff, turning his face towards Mikey and blowing a quick gust of air into his face. Mikey makes a face, grunting, "Ew, your breath stinks," while Leo replies with, "Some of us are trying to sleep, Miguel."

Mikey giggles into Leo's shoulder as he says, "Sorry," but he doesn't sound all that reproachful.

Raph is next to settle down, laying on Leo's other side, grabbing Donnie's wrist, who was distracted admiring his and Mikey’s handiwork, and pulling him down with him. Having lost his own snuggle buddy to Mikey, Donnie has become his next victim, squashed between Raph's massive arms. But he only gives minor complaints, so Raph doesn't feel all that bad.

The combination of soothing lights from the ceiling and the glow sticks and the cushions beneath them lull the turtles into a comfortable daze. Next to him, Raph can hear the sleeping forms of his youngest brothers, cuddled together with their limbs entangled. 

"You know, next time you have problems with sleeping, you can always come to one of us. You always help us when we can't sleep; of course, we'd want to do the same for you," Donnie gently mentions. Patting Raph on the arm, he adds for good measure, "You're our big brother, but we can still help you."

We're a team.

Surrounded by the warmth of his family, knowing that everything has finally gone back to normal, Raph smiles.

"Yeah, I know, Donnie."

Donnie hums, accepting his answer, and in a couple of minutes his own breathes become slow and even, deep in sleep.

His brothers, all of them, are right here, safe and sound. Raph still might have self-doubts as a leader and as a brother, but for now, he'll let go of his troubles and join his brothers in the blissful land of slumber.

In no time at all, Raph feels the dregs of sleep consume his mind, falling asleep with a peaceful smiling gracing his lips.

#rottmnt #rottmnt fanfiction #rottmnt fanfic #rottmnt leo #rottmnt raph #rottmnt donnie #rottmnt mikey #rise of the tmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #so much fluff #some angst #my writing

[brightlotusmoon]

A little more Spirit And Oxygen

Here’s another sneak peak at my TMNT fic, “Spirit And Oxygen: Across The Universe” which is part of my “Mikey The Lifegiver” fic series. It chronicles Mikey’s adventures in major depression, brain damage, and being the actual heart and soul and light of the team. http://archiveofourown.org/series/599863 This will probably be the final story, which means it might as well be a chapter fic, which means that this is officially Chapter One. Yes. I feel good about this. Stuff that is my heacanon here:  1) Shinigami is in a polyamorous relationship with Karai and Michelangelo, and the ladies have their own bedroom in the lair. 2) Raph has taken a shine to Shini and her attitudes on life and is so proud his little brother has such an awesome loveperson who is also banging his awesome sister. 3) April has finally decided to try dating both Donnie and Casey, although she’s spent more time with Don, and Casey doesn’t mind. 4) Splinter and Shredder are dead. Shredder killed Splinter and then the boys teamed up with Karai to kill Shredder, and Leo decapitated Shredder after Karai punched Shredder in the heart after Mikey knocked out Shredder with a kick to the face. Shredder’s henchmen have teamed up with Purple Dragons and other gangs, and have recreated robot Foot ninjas. Splinter appears as a spirit to the Hamato family. 5) The Mighty Mutanimals are very involved in the turtles’ lives. Mondo has learned first aid from Dr Rockwell and engineering from Don. 6) Leo and Karai have been duel sensei-ing and still argue over who gets to be Actual Sensei. 7) Abandoned military bases are turned into hide-outs for the more vicious, feral, and angry mutants in every borough. Mikey, Mondo, and Shini like to try and find them to befriend the tamer, friendlier ones. Karai and Raph wind up getting angry out of love and fear. 8) Mikey is Donnie’s assistant in the lab and is a field medic who uses his emotional empathic reach to comfort the injured; he can be telepathic when he tries hard, but it gives him migraines. 9) Mikey has developed epilepsy following a brain injury, but it also boosts his spiritual powers. He and Raph share an empathic connection. ...I really got attached to Deanna Troi and Jean Grey when I was a teenager, okay? Also, I am happy to discuss where the rest of the story might go and how and why. I’ll often switch to several perspectives in one chapter, like April (Storm) or Karai (Iron) or Ghost Of Splinter (Wind) or Shinigami (Magic). Mostly I’m just in love with writing Donnie talking about Mikey.  (PS, Mikey is Oxygen, duh. Don is Earth, Raph is Fire, Leo is Water. The Tumblr post for Mikey The Lifegiver is the second most popular blog post I’ve written so far. The first one is me waxing pagan about winter gods) Also, for my regular readers: You knew this sort of thing was gonna happen again. It’s all I write. Apparently, though, since 1999, I’ve had the most  wonderful contemporaries and competition. You hardcore Mikey fans, you’re the best, I love you all.

Donnie’s dreaming hard again, and he cherishes it. Usually is dreams are soft and quick, minnows in a stream, full of chrome and rust and the scent of oil, and there are tiny things in his hands, beeping and whirring, and there are giant things in front of him, clicking and rumbling; and the scars all over his hands reminds him that these are his, he made them, and they make sounds at him as though they are praising him.

Almost a year ago, shortly after Splinter died and Shredder died and Karai moved in, things began happening that challenged every science imaginable, but Donnie learned to be completely fine with it. Aside from Leo and Karai in a constant subtle battle over who would be sensei, Raph mellowed out and Mikey stopped pranking. Donnie was the only one who recognized Mikey as the catalyst: after enduring a series of traumas that they wouldn’t wish on their enemies, Mikey had become quieter, softer. His odd hyperfocusing moments turned on books without pictures and science documentaries and Donnie spent three weeks spying on him; it was no surprise when Mikey caught him each time, because Mikey had changed the most. Donnie and April ran every single test, and Mikey endured them with a strange fidgeting patience, but Rockwell in the end explained that Mikey’s Dimension X brain had finally caught up with him. He was almost like April. Don stopped being surprised when a beaker full of An Unusual Chemical dropped from his hands and floated back up to the table, despite it only being him and Mikey. Mikey, who folded his arms and grinned cheekily, and that was the day Donnie went to the closet and handed him a lab coat with his name on it.

Between their rotating autistic traits and interests, Donnie with engineering and physical science and Mikey with social sciences and cultural studies, they managed to create Things that made the lair easier to live in. With Mikey around, it was easier to navigate the entire city and study humans’ patterns, so certain stores, warehouses, junkyards, and clinics would stay their “borrowing” targets. With Donnie around, they had vehicles and cloaking devices to move further and deeper in.

So Donnie dreams heavily, about jumping from roof to roof in Staten Island, looking for that one military facility that up until now always had staff. Mikey is right behind him, ready with both kusarigama and grappling hook. Donnie stops and signals, and Mikey presses right against his carapace, wrapping one arm around his waist, extending the other to aim the grappling gun. Don signals again, and Mikey pushes off and practically flies – scratch that, he literally glides – and Donnie feels perfectly utterly safe as he casually throws an arm around his little brother’s shoulders. Mikey wouldn’t let them drop; they’d only hover. That’s how good he’s gotten. The grappling hook keeps catching on roof edges and Mikey lets it hover and glide to the next and the next, and they keep going.

They’re on the roof of the facility, over a mile from where they started, and Donnie pries open the secret door and they move in, and their flashlights roam. They remove their backpacks when he finds the correct room, and collect the items he’s already listed on his T-Phone. It’s silent, it’s swift, and the only thing that warns him is Mikey’s hiss and his voice in Donnie’s head: Donnie, get DOWN—

And Donnie flattens himself on the floor and the creature grazes him with a long metal toe as it leaps over him, and his right shoulder and bicep both rip open wide and his body spills blood rapidly. But it’s not the pain that makes him scream. It’s the strangled screeching gasp, full of pure agony and horror, that Mikey makes from somewhere behind him. No living creature should be making a sound like that unless it’s about to die...

There is precious seconds of heavy silence, and he hears Mikey make that familiar, inhuman growl that all the turtles make when enraged, when their human sides shrink and their literal reptilian brains take over with crushing power. The creature howls in pain and shock, and Mikey lets out a roar that contains Donnie’s name scrawled into it, and then there is crashing, there is stabbing, punching, shrieking, snarling, bones cracking and flesh squelching and liquid spurting and other noises that Donnie will hear in his post-traumatic nightmares. Donnie crawls forward, collapses on his back, turns around and forces himself to stand.

The creature has Mikey pinned to the ground, and shadowed blood is pooling everywhere. And then Mikey kicks and flips the creature over with a furious shriek, and through the darkness Donnie sees his teeth flash in a savage grin, you do not want to see that kind of smile on Mikey’s face, and Donnie sees him coated in shadows, launching again at the creature, smacking his nunchaku again and again…and then the creature stops moving, stops making noise; and Donnie hears his own harsh, pained breathing, and his brother’s harsh, pained breathing, and he manages to call out, “Mikey, are you okay?”

There’s a pause. “I’m always okay, Dee,” comes a breezy reply, but it is thin and strained. “Hey, Dee, what’s hurt on you?”

“My right shoulder and upper arm, but I can patch it up. You?”

A longer pause, much much longer.

“Can I take a raincheck on answering that?”

Donnie feels his gut turn to ice. “Mikey?”

He sees the dark figure of his brother hold up a finger. “Just…gimme…a sec.”

Within that second, Mikey falls to his knees. Donnie feels himself lurch forward. His eyes strain. The shadows on his brother are not shadows. They are too shiny. He’s covered in it.

No. No. Please, no, not again, I can’t handle this again.

It’s not the blood loss making Donnie feel so dizzy. He struggles to move, and watches, in slow motion, as Mikey falls over completely, smacking the floor, and it is a wet smack, and liquid is still pooling around him. And Don starts to hyperventilate, because he’s not sure where the light switch might be in this room and where the first aid kits are, and suddenly the darkness is too dark and the floor opens up and he is being swallowed, and he cannot reach Mikey, and then he falls, and as he falls his T-Phone rings, and something presses its energy button, and it’s blaring in his ears, louder and louder, calling MIkey’s name.

Donatello bolts up screaming, and it is too dark and he can’t see. A door crashes open. A body launches at him, and before he can take another breath, a pair of arms are wrapped around him and a plastron is pressed against his, and his chin is on a broad muscley shoulder, and the scent he breathes in is pure Raphael.

“Raph,” he squeaks out. “Hey--”

“Sshhh, Donnie, easy,” the hoarse voice murmurs. “It was a dream. You’re okay.”

He finds himself awkwardly patting his older brother’s upper carapace, trying to politely pull away. “Raph…Raph, I realize that…can I breathe? Please?”

Raph pulls away, green eyes serpentine in the darkness of his bedroom. The way his head tilts, too.

“I’m fine, Raph. I promise. I know it’s a nightmare.”

Those eyes and that head tilt remain fixed on him.

“Donnie, this is your fourth nightmare. Do you realize that?”

Really?

“Um. No?” He’s been so busy between his lab and the sectioned-off infirmary that Rockwell and Slash and Casey helped build that he sometimes doesn’t remember going to bed.

“Well, it is. And I’ll bet it’s the exact same one. Yours are weird.” Raph sits back, agura style, and Donnie draws his knees up to make room. “They’re like clockwork. Once a week. And, y’know, this is the fourth week since--”

“I know. And you guys dragged me to my own bed when you knew I wouldn’t stay here.”

“You did this time,” Raph points out.

“True. Wait, I did?”

“Congratulations on a full twelve hours of sleep, bro. It’s ten in the morning.”

Donnie feels his eyes grow wide. He throws the covers off and jumps off his bed. “I’m missing work, I--”

Raph’s strong hand slaps against his chest. “Remember what we all agreed on? Until your shoulder and arm is fully functional, you don’t do anything complex without someone helping you. I hope you were planning on asking someone.”

Donnie narrows his eyes. “Do you know how to handle the complex alien chemicals I need to work on? Plus the newer components of the retromutagen?”

“If not me, you have April. Or Rockwell. Or Shini.”

Donnie sighs, looks at his immobilized arm, and sighs again.

“You’re a stubborn bastard, Hamato Donatello.”

“You’re worse.”

“I am a paragon of complacency, little brother.”

And Donnie winces. “Try not to call me that?”

“Oh. Right. I forgot. You’re right. Sorry, Don.”

Donnie sighs and gets dressed.

“Um.” Raph rubs the back of his head. “So, nothing’s changed this morning. That’s…like, good, right? Kinda?”

“Kinda,” Donnie says. “It means that Mikey is continuing to heal. Which is the best we can hope for in this situation.”

As he heads out of his room and toward the lab doors, Raph catches up. “You should eat something first.”

“I need to check his vitals and change his IV bags.”

“Karai did that.”

“Even the GI tube?”

“Yeah, that one too.”

Donnie pauses. “I just need to see…”

“Donnie.” Raph is impossibly firm, and very soft. “Donnie, everything you could do has been done. We’ve watched you and learned from you for a whole month. It’s a routine. And part of the routine is that those of us who aren’t doing the routine help ourselves first. It’s your turn.”

Donnie is very silent as Raph steers him toward the kitchen. Leo is finishing up a plate of eggs, toast, and tea. Shinigami is making two more plates.

“Oh, you got him up! Good morning, Donatello. Did your nightmare complete itself?” The witch’s smile is knowing and polite, and he has gotten used to her specific brand of sass. She is, after all his little brother’s girlfriend and his sister’s girlfriend.

He mumbles “yes” because shrugging his shoulders still hurts. He eats mechanically, even as he is poked at to make conversation. Raph has started giving him daily protein shakes. There is one next to his plate. He drinks it and crushes the bottle, casually proving how fine he is. Sometimes the others forget how strong he is.

He misses having Mikey around to defend him.

“I’ll be in the infirmary,” Shinigami says, and Donnie startles. When he looks at her, he sees dark, deep circles under her eyes. Her fair complexion is blotchy and even paler than usual. And he wants to slap himself. She loves him. She has so much love, she loves Mikey and Karai so much. And Karai, to see her baby brother like this. Abruptly, he stands up, wraps his arms around Shini, and grips her like one of Mikey’s famous octopus hugs.

She simply buries her face in his neck and holds him tight.

 * * * *

Donnie is at his computer. As he’s reading and copying notes, he can’t help but hear her from the infirmary corner, and after a while he gives up trying to ignore it. He stretches his neck to catch a glimpse.

Shinigami has been sitting by Mikey’s bedside for fifteen minutes, and she only started speaking a couple of minutes ago. Don sees her hand tighten around Mikey’s as she talks.

“…keeps insisting nothing hurts, of course, but I refuse to believe her. Even when she shifted back and forth to her snake form, I could tell her arm was giving her trouble. Even the snake looked sad!” A small laugh, humorless. “Oh, sweet Mikey, you should see the looks she gives me when I point out her pain. She thinks I don’t see it. I see everything about her.” A pause. “I see everything about you too, you know. I see the subtle shifts in your facial muscles when you slip one of your behavior masks on. You know what I mean. When you fake smile, or your laugh is not real? I see it. You should not ever be sad, my Mikey. I told Karai I would do anything to protect her. Now that promise extends to you. Therefore, you must recover from this. You must hold me again so I can tell you I love you. You must hold me tightly, like an octopus, and laugh into my hair, and spin me around, and talk about your comics and your television shows. Tell me about Hamato Yoshi and how he adored you. Tell me about your brothers and your adoration of each of them, how they are your heroes. You and Donatello are very close. I know you wish to have so much knowledge and skill the way does.”

Donnie bites his lip and blushes a little. He almost feels like a sensei, in a way, the way Mikey looks at him while he works or while he is showing Mikey a project. He pictures the last lesson they’d had. April was there. She and Mikey were side by side, chins in their hands, looking at him lovingly, freckled faces and blue eyes alight, looking like mischievous twins.

He wants Mikey to wake up and look like that again.

He doesn’t know when Mikey will wake up. That hurts him most of all. This coma is different, deep and frightening. Mikey lost a lot of blood, and the mutant hit him in the neck, and Donnie knows how bad that can be. Concussion. Oxygen loss. Brain function compromised. Brain damage. Mikey already has enough. Donnie is worried.

Shini’s voice startles him.

“We miss you, Michelangelo. I miss you. I…need you. You must come back soon. Please.” And Donnie watches as Shinigami leans forward and presses her lips to Mikey’s, and smiles. She squeezes his limp, broken hand again. She stands up and begins to walk toward the door, then changes course, coming toward the lab. Donnie blinks at her.

She smiles at him. “What you working on?”

“Oh, um…” he glances down. “Taking notes on neurobiological function in humans and reptiles. I believe our brains are almost fully human, but we probably have neuronal and hormonal responses similar to diamondback turtles, too.”

“Mikey will sometimes make little noises,” Shini offers. “They’re not human.”

Donnie nods. “Yes. Chirping. Cooing. Growling. A kind of purring growl, like churring. Hissing.”

He shifted through the pages, wrote down some more notes.

“You aren’t going to do that all day, are you?”

Donnie glances up. Shini has leaned her hip against the table and is smirking. “Leo wants everyone in the dojo for training. Is this very important?”

He bites his lip, looks at his screen. “I guess it can wait until later.” He saves the file. Shinigami takes him by the elbow and steers him out of the lab. Interestingly, Raph is waiting there, arms crossed. He smirks and nods. “Good. Good Donnie.” Shinigami giggles, as if the two had planned it.

“How’s Mikey?” Raph asks, automatically.

Shini just shrugs. “The same. Karai wonders if I can use my witchcraft to find him in the astral plane. It is a thought.”

Raph raises an eyeridge. “Damn straight, it’s a thought. He’s been healing pretty well. Maybe it’s time to try reaching out to him instead of waiting for him to wake up.”

Donatello sits up straight and snaps his fingers. “It can be a family effort!” That seems to light a fire in Raphael, and he joyfully reaches out to fistbump Shinigami, who has a wide smirk on her face and a glint in her eye. Donnie feels stronger and happier than he’s felt in weeks.

#tmnt2012 #tmnt 2012 #mikey #empath mikey #neurodivergent mikey #neurodivergent donnie #my neurodivergent turtle children #karai #shinigami #april o'neil #casey jones #mighty mutanimals #mikey the lifegiver #break the cutie #iron woobie #canon au #headcanon #fanfiction #myfics #hurt the ones you love #splinter is a ghost #ptsd #poor donnie #poor mikey #polyamory #disabled mikey #autistic headcanon #canon adhd

[brightlotusmoon]

Sneak Peek: A “Mikey The Lifegiver” side story

So, while working on the “Spirit And Oxygen” fic, I got poked in the writerbrain by yet another “Donnie thinks about how much he adores Mikey” story that didn’t quite fit, but maybe it could, so right now it’s going to be a side story, at least until Season 5 rolls around and we get canon confirmation on some things.

Stuff that is my heacanon here: 1) Shinigami is in a polyamorous relationship with Karai and Michelangelo, and the girls have their own bedroom in the lair. 2) Raph has taken a shine to Shini and her attitudes on life and is so proud his little brother has such an awesome loveperson who is also banging his awesome sister. 3) April has finally decided to try dating both Donnie and Casey, although she’s spent more time with Don, and casey doesn’t mind. 4) Both Splinter and Shredder are dead (Karai killed Shredder, take that Leo, although Leo was there too and got some hits in). 5) The Might Mutanimals are very involved in the turtles’ lives. Mondo has learned first aid from Dr Rockwell and engineering from Don. 6) Leo and Karai have been duel sensei-ing and still argue over who gets to be Actual Sensei. 7) Abandoned military bases are turned into hide-outs for the more vicious, feral, and angry mutants in every borough. Mikey, Mondo, and Shini like to try and find them to befriend the tamer, friendlier ones. Karai and Raph wind up getting angry out of love and fear. 8) Mikey is Donnie’s assistant in the lab and is a field medic who uses his emotional reach to comfort the injured. I don’t know if any of it will reflect in real canon. We shall find out in March. I did see the Korean leaks and I’m not saying a damn word. Also, I am happy to discuss where the rest of the story might go and how and why, and I’ll probably switch to another perspective like April (Storm) or Karai (Iron) or Ghost Of Splinter (Wind) or Shinigami (Magic). Mostly I’m just in love with writing Donnie talking about Mikey, and this would be my third Earth And Oxygen fic in the “Mikey The Lifegiver” series.  (PS, Mikey is Oxygen, duh. Don is Earth, Raph is Fire, Leo is Water. The Tumblr post for Mikey The Lifegiver is the second most popular blog post I’ve written so far. The first one is me waxing pagan about all those winter holidays from dozens of religions with hundreds many gods) Also, for my regular readers: You knew this sort of thing was gonna happen again. It’s all I write. Apparently, though, since 1999, I’ve had the most  wonderful contemporaries and competition. You hardcore Mikey fans, you’re the best, I love you all.

Lying in my bed I hear the clock tick, And think of you Caught up in circles confusion Is nothing new Flashback warm nights Almost left behind Suitcases of memories, Time after Sometimes you picture me I'm walking too far ahead You're calling to me, I can't hear What you've said You say go slow I fall behind The second hand unwinds If you're lost you can look and you will find me Time after time If you fall I will catch you I'll be waiting Time after time If you're lost you can look and you will find me Time after time If you fall I will catch you I'll be waiting Time after time After my picture fades and darkness has Turned to gray Watching through windows you're wondering If I'm ok Secrets stolen from deep inside The drum beats out of time If you're lost you can look and you will find me Time after time If you fall I will catch you I'll be waiting Time after time You said go slow I fall behind The second hand unwinds If you're lost you can look and you will find me Time after time If you fall I will catch you I'll be waiting Time after time

-Cyndi Lauper, “Time After Time”

 Earth And Oxygen: Time After Time

 Donnie’s dreaming hard again, and he cherishes it. Usually is dreams are soft and quick, minnows in a stream, full of chrome and rust and the scent of oil, and there are tiny things in his hands, beeping and whirring, and there are giant things in front of him, clicking and rumbling; and the scars all over his hands reminds him that these are his, he made them, and they make sounds at him as though they are praising him.

Almost a year ago, shortly after Splinter died and Shredder died and Karai moved in, things began happening that challenged every science imaginable, but Donnie learned to be completely fine with it. Aside from Leo and Karai in a constant subtle battle over who would be sensei, Raph mellowed out and Mikey stopped pranking. Donnie was the only one who recognized Mikey as the catalyst: after enduring a series of traumas that they wouldn’t wish on their enemies, Mikey had become quieter, softer. His odd hyperfocusing moments turned on books without pictures and science documentaries and Donnie spent three weeks spying on him; it was no surprise when Mikey caught him each time, because Mikey had changed the most. Donnie and April ran every single test, and Mikey endured them with a strange fidgeting patience, but Rockwell in the end explained that Mikey’s Dimension X brain had finally caught up with him. He was almost like April. Don stopped being surprised when a beaker full of An Unusual Chemical dropped from his hands and floated back up to the table, despite it only being him and Mikey. Mikey, who folded his arms and grinned cheekily, and that was the day Donnie went to the closet and handed him a lab coat with his name on it.

Between their rotating autistic traits and interests, Donnie with engineering and physical science and Mikey with social sciences and cultural studies, they managed to create Things that made the lair easier to live in. With Mikey around, it was easier to navigate the entire city and study humans’ patterns, so certain stores, warehouses, junkyards, and clinics would stay their “borrowing” targets. With Donnie around, they had vehicles and cloaking devices to move further and deeper in.

So Donnie dreams heavily, about jumping from roof to roof in Staten Island, looking for that one military facility that up until now always had staff. Mikey is right behind him, ready with both kusarigama and grappling hook. Donnie stops and signals, and Mikey presses right against his carapace, wrapping one arm around his waist, extending the other to aim the grappling gun. Don signals again, and Mikey pushes off and practically flies – scratch that, he literally glides – and Donnie feels perfectly utterly safe as he casually throws an arm around his little brother’s shoulders. Mikey wouldn’t let them drop; they’d only hover. That’s how good he’s gotten. The grappling hook keeps catching on roof edges and Mikey lets it hover and glide to the next and the next, and they keep going.

They’re on the roof of the facility, over a mile from where they started, and Donnie pries open the secret door and they move in, and their flashlights roam. They remove their backpacks when he finds the correct room, and collect the items he’s already listed on his T-Phone. It’s silent, it’s swift, and the only thing that warns him is Mikey’s hiss and his voice in Donnie’s head: Donnie, get DOWN—

And Donnie flattens himself on the floor and the creature grazes him with a long metal toe as it leaps over him, and his right shoulder and bicep both rip open wide and his body spills blood rapidly. But it’s not the pain that makes him scream. It’s the strangled screeching gasp, full of pure agony and horror, that Mikey makes from somewhere behind him. No living creature should be making a sound like that unless it’s about to die...

There is precious seconds of heavy silence, and he hears Mikey make that familiar, inhuman growl that all the turtles make when enraged, when their human sides shrink and their literal reptilian brains take over with crushing power. The creature howls in pain and shock, and Mikey lets out a roar that contains Donnie’s name scrawled into it, and then there is crashing, there is stabbing, punching, shrieking, snarling, bones cracking and flesh squelching and liquid spurting and other noises that Donnie will hear in his post-traumatic nightmares. Donnie crawls forward, collapses on his back, turns around and forces himself to stand.

The creature has Mikey pinned to the ground, and shadowed blood is pooling everywhere. And then Mikey kicks and flips the creature over with a furious shriek, and through the darkness Donnie sees his teeth flash in a savage grin, you do not want to see that kind of smile on Mikey’s face, and Donnie sees him coated in shadows, launching again at the creature, smacking his nunchaku again and again…and then the creature stops moving, stops making noise; and Donnie hears his own harsh, pained breathing, and his brother’s harsh, pained breathing, and he manages to call out, “Mikey, are you okay?”

There’s a pause. “I’m always okay, Dee,” comes a breezy reply, but it is thin and strained. “Hey, Dee, what’s hurt on you?”

“My right shoulder and upper arm, but I can patch it up. You?”

A longer pause, much much longer.

“Can I take a raincheck on answering that?”

Donnie feels his gut turn to ice. “Mikey?”

He sees the dark figure of his brother hold up a finger. “Just…gimme…a sec.”

Within that second, Mikey falls to his knees. Donnie feels himself lurch forward. His eyes strain. The shadows on his brother are not shadows. They are too shiny. He’s covered in it.

No. No. Please, no, not again, I can’t handle this again.

It’s not the blood loss making Donnie feel so dizzy. He struggles to move, and watches, in slow motion, as Mikey falls over completely, smacking the floor, and it is a wet smack, and liquid is still pooling around him. And Don starts to hyperventilate, because he’s not sure where the light switch might be in this room and where the first aid kits are, and suddenly the darkness is too dark and the floor opens up and he is being swallowed, and he cannot reach Mikey, and then he falls, and as he falls his T-Phone rings, and something presses its energy button, and it’s blaring in his ears, louder and louder, calling MIkey’s name.

Donatello bolts up screaming, and it is too dark and he can’t see. A door crashes open. A body launches at him, and before he can take another breath, a pair of arms are wrapped around him and a plastron is pressed against his, and his chin is on a broad muscley shoulder, and the scent he breathes in is pure Raphael.

“Raph,” he squeaks out. “Hey--”

“Sshhh, Donnie, easy,” the hoarse voice murmurs. “It was a dream. You’re okay.”

He finds himself awkwardly patting his older brother’s upper carapace, trying to politely pull away. “Raph…Raph, I realize that…can I breathe? Please?”

Raph pulls away, green eyes serpentine in the darkness of his bedroom. The way his head tilts, too.

“I’m fine, Raph. I promise. I know it’s a nightmare.”

Those eyes and that head tilt remain fixed on him.

“Donnie, this is your fourth nightmare. Do you realize that?”

Really?

“Um. No?” He’s been so busy between his lab and the sectioned-off infirmary that Rockwell and Slash and Casey helped build that he sometimes doesn’t remember going to bed.

“Well, it is. And I’ll bet it’s the exact same one. Yours are weird.” Raph sits back, agura style, and Donnie draws his knees up to make room. “They’re like clockwork. Once a week. And, y’know, this is the fourth week since--”

“I know. And you guys dragged me to my own bed when you knew I wouldn’t stay here.”

“You did this time,” Raph points out.

“True. Wait, I did?”

“Congratulations on a full twelve hours of sleep, bro. It’s ten in the morning.”

Donnie feels his eyes grow wide. He throws the covers off and jumps off his bed. “I’m missing work, I--”

Raph’s strong hand slaps against his chest. “Remember what we all agreed on? Until your shoulder and arm is fully functional, you don’t do anything complex without someone helping you. I hope you were planning on asking someone.”

Donnie narrows his eyes. “Do you know how to handle the complex alien chemicals I need to work on? Plus the newer components of the retromutagen?”

“If not me, you have April. Or Rockwell. Or Shini.”

Donnie sighs, looks at his immobilized arm, and sighs again.

“You’re a stubborn bastard, Hamato Donatello.”

“You’re worse.”

“I am a paragon of complacency, little brother.”

And Donnie winces. “Try not to call me that?”

“Oh. Right. I forgot. You’re right. Sorry, Don.”

Donnie sighs and gets dressed.

“Um.” Raph rubs the back of his head. “So, nothing’s changed this morning. That’s…like, good, right? Kinda?”

“Kinda,” Donnie says. “It means that Mikey is continuing to heal. Which is the best we can hope for in this situation.”

As he heads out of his room and toward the lab doors, Raph catches up. “You should eat something first.”

“I need to check his vitals and change his IV bags.”

“Karai did that.”

“Even the GI tube?”

“Yeah, that one too.”

Donnie pauses. “I just need to see…”

“Donnie.” Raph is impossibly firm, and very soft. “Donnie, everything you could do has been done. We’ve watched you and learned from you for a whole month. It’s a routine. And part of the routine is that those of us who aren’t doing the routine help ourselves first. It’s your turn.”

Donnie is very silent as Raph steers him toward the kitchen. Leo is finishing up eggs, toast, and tea. Shinigami is making two more plates.

“Oh, you got him up! Good morning, Donatello. Did your nightmare complete itself?” The witch’s smile is knowing and polite, and he has gotten used to her specific brand of sass. She is, after all his little brother’s girlfriend and his sister’s girlfriend.

He mumbles “yes” because shrugging his shoulders still hurts. He eats mechanically, even as he is poked at to make conversation. Raph has started giving him daily protein shakes. There is one next to his plate. He drinks it and crushes the bottle, casually proving how fine he is. Sometimes the others forget how strong he is.

He misses having Mikey around to defend him.

“I’ll be in the infirmary,” Shinigami says, and Donnie startles. When he looks at her, he sees dark, deep circles under her eyes. Her fair complexion is blotchy and even paler than usual. And he wants to slap himself. She loves him. She has so much love, she loves Mikey and Karai. And Karai, to see her baby brother like this. Abruptly, he stands up, wraps his arms around Shini, and grips her like one of Mikey’s famous octopus hugs.

She simply buries her face in his neck and holds him tight.

#tmnt2012 #tmnt 2012 #mikey #empath mikey #psychic mikey #autistic mikey #neurodivergent mikey #neurodivergent donnie #my neurodivergent turtle children #polymarory #karai #shinigami #mighty mutanimals #splinter #ptsd #mikey the lifegiver #break the cutie #iron woobie #headcanon autistics #canon au #headcanon #i love mikey but i also must hurt him #hurt the ones you love #i love donnie too but i like to mess with his mind #emotional torture #splinter is a ghost sorry #tiger claw is the villain now #i am sadistic #i'm learning so much about wound care #i love writing this series