#yes tomorrow may exist but you are stuck in one night forever so

[fazgoo-connoiseur-1987]

There is no tomorrow, you will not see another day.

#yes tomorrow may exist but you are stuck in one night forever so #get #hell'd idiot #fnaf #five nights at freddy's #william afton #fazgoodles #cassidy fnaf #ucn #eye strain #i like doing messy little things like this its good :]]

[babymetaldoll]

DIWK - Chapter four: "Hurt"

Words count: 13,7K

The gif is mine ✨

Warnings: Hardcore Spencer trauma. Mention of drug abuse,  torture, Criminal Minds usual case triggers. Spoilers of Season 2 E14/15 Criminal Minds.

Summary: An unsub abducts Spencer, and reader blames JJ for it.

A/N: Have you ever wished you were there to save Spencer from Tobias Hankel? I know I have. I know reader wants to... I'm dying to know what you'll think of this chapter! Sorry if it's a little too graphic, writing Spencer's POV of this episode was really hard.

Series Masterlist

Chapter one | Chapter two | Chapter three | Chapter four | Chapter five | Chapter six | Chapter seven | Chapter eight | Chapter nine | Chapter ten | Chapter eleven | Chapter twelve | Chapter thirteen | Chapter fourteen | Chapter fifteen |

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(Y/N)'s point of view

I remember the day Emily Prentiss arrived. We had a case in Saint Louis. Two serial killers, 'cos it couldn't just be one asshole making everyone miserable. And on top of all, Hotch was confused and upset 'cos he never signed Emily's transfer to the BAU. It was like someone was trying to force her into the team, and we all thought it was weird.

We left the bullpen off to the case and left Prentiss in the office, not knowing if she actually got the job or not. I know Elle and I weren't incredibly close, but it still felt weird to think someone might join the team and try to replace her. It didn't work that way in that job. It didn't feel right at the moment.

There is something I also distinctly remember about that day: Gideon talked to me. And not only that, but he actually trusted my knowledge. We hadn't been on the best terms for a few months, so that approach meant a lot to me.

We were at the police station. Reid and I had been analyzing the letters one of the killers had sent to a journalist to find something that might help us catch him before there were any more victims. That's when JJ and Jason walked in, and he asked about our progress.

- "He only sent this to an individual, which shows he is not confident enough to initiate contact with the masses."- Spencer explained as he projected an image of the letter on the wall.

- "Emotional indicators are analyzed through slants, and you can see the shooter maintains vertical, narrow letter writing, and both are signs of repression"- I said and pointed at the image on the wall- "And the pressure, if you look closely, it's excessively heavy, which shows that he's uptight and can easily overreact."

Gideon looked at me and nodded. It was my cue to keep on talking. For once in a long time, I was feeling approved by him.

- "You got all that from his handwriting?"- JJ asked me, surprised. Reid looked at me from the other side of the room, and I could feel his smile reflecting how proud he was of me.

- "Graphology is an effective and reliable indicator of personality and behavior."

- "But my writing is always different,"- she added, and I nodded. I was waiting for that comment.

- "Yes, because it represents your emotions at the moment, just like your facial expressions parallel the way you are feeling while you are speaking."

- "What else can we know about our unsub from this?"- Gideon asked me.

- "Well, our killer uses simple statements, all first person, like "I won't be ignored," which means he's obviously tired of feeling this way. He may have a job in solitude or one that he feels strips of his identity. His work might require him to wear a uniform, something that shows absolutely no individuality, or he may be overqualified for his menial job and feels that he doesn't get the respect that he necessarily deserves."

I made a pause and waited for his words. I was giving my best, and I swear I was still hoping I could ever get Jason Gideon's blessing.

- "I think we are ready to give a profile,"- he said and nodded.

And damn, that felt good.

When we were back in Quantico, Hotch had a long and clearly awkward conversation with the section chief, Erin Strauss. She was scary. She was clearly trying to get rid of Hotch, questioning his work daily, decisions, and how he managed the team. Why? I have no idea.

It felt she forced him to accept Prentiss into the team. We were one man down after Elle left. Ok, one awesome woman down, so we definitely needed some help. And Emily was a great addition from day one.

We clicked right away. Prentiss was funny, smart, but most of all, she constantly had to prove she deserved to be there. Just like me. Gideon gave her the cold shoulder from day one, and that I could relate. The only difference was that she won him over in a few days, though. I was still trying to win that battle.

Garcia decided we needed a girl's night, and she hosted the first of many "BAU Girl Power get together." Basically, it was us at Penelope's place drinking and talking.

That first night, we updated Prentiss with everything that had happened with Elle. She wanted to know everything about us, what we did, how long we've been on the team, and how we all got along. It was sweet and fresh. After that year in the BAU, I had already learned to enjoy the sweet things in life. Like getting drunk with my work girlfriends.

- "So, does Hotch ever smile?"- Emily asked, and we all laughed at the very same time. Yes, it was getting late, and we weren't as sober as we should have been.

- "He does! he does!"- JJ assured us- "You should see him with his baby."

- "He is a dad?"- Emily was shocked. I was surprised too when I found out Aaron was married and with a baby. The amount of time he spends at work always made me feel he had zero personal life.

- "And has a beautiful wife"- JJ added- "He is always laughing when he is with her and baby Jack."

- "I guess this job can drain the happiness from your day... "- I thought out loud, but before anyone could say anything about my dark and bitter comment, my cell phone rang.

- "Hey honey bunny, everything ok?"- I stood up and walked to the kitchen. I didn't want to interrupt the girl's conversations.

- "Yes, I just wanted to make sure you were drinking enough water between drinks"- I laughed and shook my head. Only Reid could call to say such a thing. He was the sweetest friend on earth.

- "Yes, I am, don't worry. I'm not going to be hungover or drunk tomorrow. I know you are excited about the new exposition."

- "You are gonna love it!"

- "I am sure I will"- and I wasn't kidding. I loved when he dragged me to the Smithsonian or any museum for some nerdy fun.

- "Have fun with the girls."

- "What are you doing, by the way?"

- "Just reading a little, you left your complete Sherlock Holmes collection here, so I'll be solving mysteries while you get drunk."

- "Don't have too much fun without me"- he chuckled and ended the call. I smiled and walked back to the girls looking at me with a funny grin on their faces.

- "Was that your boyfriend?"- Penelope asked me, and I frowned right away.

- "No, it was Reid. He just wanted to confirm we are going to the museum tomorrow."

- "Wait"- Prentiss narrowed her brows and looked at us confused- "Reid ain't your boyfriend?"

JJ and Garcia's laughter was epical, as well as my frown. They nearly gasped for air while Prentiss and I waited until they calmed down.

- "No"- I finally answered- "Reid is not my boyfriend."

- "He is more than that; he is her work husband,"- Penelope clarified, and I turned to her with my mouth wide open, shocked.

- "What the fuck? Reid ain't my work husband. He is my best friend!!"

- "Yes, and you happen to call your best friend "honey bunny," right?"- JJ questioned, just like she had a few months before when we were alone in our room away on a case.

- "Reid is my best friend, and yes, I call all my close friends by weird pet names. You will get one too if you are lucky."

- "But I thought"- Emily continued- "I mean, he looks at you like you are his sun."

- "No, Prentiss, the only coupe in this team is the one between "chocolate thunder" and "baby girl" right here"- I pointed at Garcia, and she just blushed and covered her face.

- "My love for Derek will burn forever with the intensity of a thousand suns. I mean, have you seen that man? he was made by the gods and sent to earth just to give my existence some sense"- we all laughed at those cheesy words, though Pen was serious about them.

- "But, have you ever...?- JJ looked at her and made a pause. We were all looking at every single facial movement or behavior she might show to read her body language."

- "My relationship with my loverman could never be tainted by something as mundane as sex."

- "Like you wouldn't lick honey from that six-pack and ride that thunder."

The words just left my lips, and I blame the buzz. BAU (Y/N) would have never said that. Drunk (Y/N) would, totally.

The girls laughed until tears fell from their eyes, and I just chuckled, honestly happy to make them laugh. I had been more of the real me than I had ever actually been around them in nearly a year.

- "Hello?"- my phone rang again when I was walking out of the bathroom. And this time, it was Paul.

- "Hey babe, what are you doing?"

- "Hey, I'm..."- I looked at the girls in front of me and sighed- "I'm stuck with paperwork"- and they turned to me immediately. I could read the "What the fuck" on their faces.

- "Well, I'm at Rob's in case you feel like dropping by. We are writing a few songs."

- "I'll text you if I finish with this early, but... have fun."

- "Ok, bye"- I hung up and sighed.

- "And that was..."- Prentiss asked, frowning.

- "My boyfriend,"- I explained and grabbed another beer

- "Sure, I could feel the passion,"- Garcia joked, but I just didn't think it was funny.

I knew my relationship with Paul wasn't alright. Actually, things with Paul weren't. Period. We were done, it was apparent, but still, neither of us had said it. That relationship was just a few phone calls every once in a while, only to make small talks. When we were together, we would just watch a movie, eat something, drink a few beers, and that was it. It had been a long time since we had sex or even made out. I don't know why I didn't end it sooner. I guess I was just afraid to do it.

But I let more months pass before I actually did something.

Spencer's point of view

I'm not proud of what happened that year after Prentiss joined the team. I think that year changed me profoundly, and a part of me never fully recovered afterward.

Maybe it had to be that way, and it was something I had to go through to grow up. I guess I'm still trying to make some sense of all the misery I put my friends through. Mostly (Y/N). She was in hell with me.

A few weeks after New Year, we started working on a case. Someone was killing wealthy people in their own homes. At first, we thought there were two unsubs, 'cos one of them called 911 after killing, and you could hear them struggling and arguing. But no, it was just one.

Tobias Hankel was a delusional serial killer. He had split personalities, not two but actually three. His father, the one who tortured me. The archangel Raphael, who was trying to make God's will, killing people. And himself, who wanted to save me, but instead, he nearly destroyed me.

What do I remember about the day he kidnapped me? I remember I was stupid enough to try to catch an unsub alone, just to prove I could take care of myself on the field. Hotch sent me and JJ to talk to Hankel at his house, 'cos apparently, he might have seen the unsub months earlier. But no, he was the unsub, and neither JJ nor me could stop him.

We hid in a barn, and I was so eager to prove I could catch him; I told JJ we had to split up to cover the place. I was counting on Hotch to get there with the team sooner than they did, and before I realized it, I was in the middle of a cornfield, and Hankel was pointing at me with my own gun.

I was sure I was going to die right there. All of Hankel's personalities were struggling inside of him. I couldn't stop thinking about why I thought I could do it on my own? Why had I been a reckless asshole? Was it because I wanted to prove I was an excellent SAA? Because I wanted to impress JJ? Maybe I tried to convince myself I could do the same job my team did. I knew I wasn't the most physical person, but I had a gun. I had been trained to capture killers.

Yes, I was an asshole that day, and I've regretted everything that happened that night many, many times in the following years.

When I woke up, I was tied to a chair, and the archangel Raphael had taken Hankel's mind completely. The room was dark, and it smelled awful. He was burning fish hearts and livers, 'cos he believed it kept the devil away.

I was confused and lost. My head was spinning, and my heart was about to burst into my chest. I knew I could die any second now. Raphael wasn't the one to show mercy. That's what I had learned from all the videos Hankel had uploaded to the web. He had shared with the world every murder they had committed to show the other sinners what was going to happen to them.

- "They believe you can see inside men's minds"- Raphael looked at me with dark eyes, implying he meant Tobias and his father

- "It's not true. I study human behavior."- my voice was shaking. I knew I had never been more scared in my entire life. He took out a gun and showed me one bullet.

- "Do you know what this is? It's God's will."

Things didn't look good for me. He put it in the cylinder of the revolver and spun it. He was going to let my life to luck.

- "You don't have to do this"- I tried to talk him out of it, though I knew it wasn't going to work.

- "No go, sinners, to your God."

And he pressed the trigger.

What went through my mind the seconds that passed between having the gun pointed to my face and realizing I had lived? My mom. All I could think of was how my mom would react to the news of my death. I could never bear to hurt her like that. I couldn't die. I couldn't leave her alone.

I sighed, relieved, and bit my lips not to cry. Raphael looked at me with a blank expression and walked out of the room. I had survived for now.

I struggled with my handcuff, but it was useless. My head was killing me. I could feel the open wound on my head, still dripping blood on my temple and head. I tried to focus on the pain for a few minutes, just to make sure I was awake. It was a nightmare, and keeping myself sane and conscious under those circumstances was nearly impossible.

How was I going to get out of there alive? Did the team know where I was? I had no idea where I had been taken. I had been unconscious the whole way. It was dark, and I couldn't see much around me. I wasn't afraid of that darkness. I was more fearful of the man that left me alone, 'cos he was armed and mentally unstable. Darkness had nothing on him.

I had to focus on the things that kept me sane. The things that made me want to get out of that room alive.

- "My name is Spencer Walter Reid. I'm twenty-five years old, my mother's name is Diana Reid, I was born in Las Vegas, October 28th, 1981."

I closed my eyes and tried to think of all the things that made me happy.

- "I work at the BAU, my best friend's name is (Y/N), and she sits at the desk in front of me. Derek Morgan is the closest I've got to an older brother."

He was. He still is. You have to be close to dead to start seeing things clearly sometimes. Derek was my brother. He treated me like a kid, but a kid brother. He was always teasing me, trying to teach me how to pick up girls, trying to drag me to the gym with him. Derek was a good friend, we were very different, and I knew if we had been classmates in high school, we would probably never have talked. He was a jock, and I was a nerd. But life had brought us together. And now I couldn't think of a better friend than him.

I tried to focus on my happiest memories. My birthday came to mind. The guys had planned a Halloween-themed birthday party at the conference room of the BAU. Of course, Garcia baked a cake and (Y/N) helped her decorate it. It was incredible, 'cos it was covered with tiny gourds and skulls.

- "Frank and Mikey sent you these,"- she announced after everybody had given me their presents. I wide opened my eyes in shock 'cos I had no idea her friends knew it was my birthday or even cared about it.

- "Why?"- I had to ask.

- "'Cos they think you are amazing. They actually wanted to come over to your house and have a few beers tonight."- I opened my mouth to say something, but Derek interrupted me.

- "Pretty boy is gonna get to work hungover again."

- "Shut up"- (Y/N) and I said at the same time, making everybody chuckle. I opened the present her friends had sent me and laughed right away.

- "Lucky Doc"- I read and took out of the bag a Sports Illustrated issue with Lila Archer on the cover. My cheeks turned red immediately.

- "Frank still hasn't overcome that story. I think he will hate you forever"- (Y/N) laughed (along with the rest of the team) and gave me another present.

- "They also sent you this. They said you were going to like the man in black"- it was a Johnny Cash's vinyl- "Frank picked it. He thinks he is some sort of musical psychic that can read people's taste in music."

- "We should get together and have a few beers one of these days. I need to thank them for these."

Gideon looked at me in silence as soon as I said those words. But I didn't care if he disapproved. I was going to be (Y/N)'s friend, whether he liked it or not.

He is the closest I've had to a dad in the latest years. He cares about me, and he tries to make the best of me that he can. Yes, he can be too apprehensive. I think that's a way to put it. But only because he wants me to be the best profiler I can be.

I never thought I would end up working at the BAU. I never thought I would love the job I do as much as I do. Back when I was in college, I thought I would dedicate my life to finding a cure for schizophrenia, but I ended up hunting serial killers across the country.

And though I was about to die, I didn't regret any of the decisions that led me there.

The morning found me shaking, cold, and scared. I was in a small cabin in the woods. Just like the worst and more cliché horror movie ever made. This was my own horror movie.

- "What are you staring at, boy?"- Tobias opened the front door carrying logs for the fire. His voice had changed yet again, so I knew it wasn't the same person I had talked to the night before.

- "You are not Raphael."- I whispered, looking at every movement he did.

- "Do I look like Raphael?"- had I insulted him? I couldn't tell. He turned to the fire, and I took a deep breath, doing my best to stay calm.

- "Thank you for burning those, for keeping us safe."- I said, looking at the fish hearts and livers he was preparing to put on the fire.

- "Don't try to trick me."

- "I would never try to trick you."

- "You are a liar."

- I'm not a liar."- it was hard to stay calm and not start screaming for help or mercy, but I knew that was going to take me nowhere with him.

- "Lying is a sin."

- "I'm not a liar."- he walked closer to me, and sat right in front of me, held my leg up, and grabbed my foot.

- "This will be over quickly if you just confess your sins."

- "I am not a sinner"- I whispered again. He took off my shoe.

- "We are all sinners."- it didn't look good for me, not at all, and I knew I had to talk to him with his words with his beliefs to save my life.

- "The Lord spake unto Moses saying "Speak unto all the congregation of the children of the lord" and say unto them, ye shall be holy, for I, the Lord your God, am holy."

Hankel, this time in the personality of his father, looked at me surprised. I might have done something right, 'cos he stopped moving, and for a second, I thought it was going to be ok.

- "You know Leviticus."

- "I know every word of the bible. I can recite it for you."- but his eyes turned dark again.

- "The devil knows how to read too."

- "I'm not a devil, I'm not a devil2- I repeated, and couldn't stop shaking, 'cos my life on the hands of a sociopath.

- "I'm a man, my name is Spencer Reid, and I have a mother, and I have a father just like you, and they taught me the bible, let me recite the bible."

My voice cracked at the knowledge of what he was going to do. He stood up, still holding my foot. He was going to torture me, he was going to try to break me, and I had to be strong. I didn't know how I would find the strength, but I had to be strong.

- "Time to confess, Spencer Reid"- and without further notice, he slapped a log against my foot, making me scream in pain. It hurt from the tip of my toes until the back of my skull. I hadn't felt that kind of pain, and it was worse knowing he was just getting started. Tears started falling down my cheeks in no time.

- "Confess!"

- "I don't have anything to confess."- I whimpered and closed my eyes, 'cos I knew he was going to continue his torture. And so he did. The pain was excruciating. I was sure I was going to pass out

I tried to go to a happy place in my head, somewhere when I could hide from all that pain. It was too hard, though. It hurt too much. I kept repeating over and over again I wasn't a sinner, begging Hankel for mercy, as he shouted I had to confess.

I made an effort to think about what he might want me to say. What did he want me to confess? Which sins was he talking about? But nothing came to my mind, nothing but the pain and the fear of dying.

(Y/N)'s point of view

The second we reached Hankel's cabin, I started looking for Spencer. I had a horrible feeling about it. Morgan and I headed it to a barn with Prentiss. There was no sign of anyone. It was dark and quiet. Never a good sign.

- "Shit!"- I whispered, staring at three dead dogs and a bath of blood in front of me. There laid the body of another victim that was missing from Hankel's last attack.

- "FBI!!"- JJ shouted suddenly. She was pointing his gun to us, clearly in shock- "Don't move!!"

- "JJ, it's Morgan, (Y/L/N), and Prentiss! Don't shoot"- Derek tried to calm her down, walking towards her- "Are you hurt?"- she lowered the gun and stared at us. You could read the fear and the trauma in her eyes.

- "Tobias Hankel is the unsub,"- she whispered as Prentiss rubbed her arm sweetly, trying to comfort her.

- "Yeah, we know"- I moved towards her too and put my gun back into the holster.

- "And we thought he was just a witness"- we looked around, and JJ pointed at the dead dogs.

- "JJ, where is Reid?"- Derek asked her, but she just continued talking.

- "They completely tore her apart"

- "JJ, look at me,"- I said and held her arm carefully- "Look at me, where's Reid?"- she was shaking, and her voice was cracking. I knew she was making her best effort to pull herself together.

- "We split up. He said he was going to go in the back."

And there it was. That was the reason why I had a bad feeling all along. Derek looked at me and nodded as we read each other's minds. The two of us turned around and ran outside, leaving JJ with Prentiss, waiting for the medical team and ambulance to check on her wounds.

Gideon and Hotch were inside the cabin, looking for Hankel, but there was no one there. And there was no sign of Reid behind the barn either, in the cornfield, or anywhere in the perimeter. Reid was nowhere to be found, and I started losing it little by little. I tried to repeat myself the words Hotch had said many times during my year in the BAU: "when you are out there with the team; your mind has to be one hundred percent on the case." But the case had never included my best friend missing before.

- "Hey, is there any sign of him yet?- I asked the police chief as I reached the ambulance. He was there talking with JJ, making sure she was ok.

- "We got every one of our units on the road. He won't make it far"- I nodded and watched him walk away. I knew he thought I was talking about Hankel, but I actually meant Reid.

I turned to JJ and moved a little closer to her. Her eyes open wide, staring back at me.

- "You can't find Reid?"- I just shook my head and tried to sound as casual as I could, not to freak her out. She was still in shock. I didn't want to make it worse.

- "Not yet"

- "(Y/N)"- Derek held my arm and forced me to walk away from the ambulance.- "Reid followed him into the cornfield. It looks like somebody got dragged."

My heart stopped. Did the psychopath hurt Spencer? Did he kill him? Did he torture him? Was he hurt? Was he alive? Where was he? Derek looked at me, and I nodded. I bit my lips and took a deep breath. Hotch's words were my mantra now: "your mind has to be one hundred percent on the case."

- "Are you sure?"- we turned to the police's chief, overhearing his conversation- "We are on our way now."

- "What's going on?"

- "The sheriff down two towns over, he just gave directions to a man who fit Hankel's descriptions. It's to a motor lodge in fort bend."

- "Let's get Hotch and Gideon"- Derek held my arm and walked with me to the cabin. We had to find Reid, and we had to do it fast.

That was the worst night of my life. The first worst night of my life, to be sincere. I didn't close an eye. I went through every paper, every note, every detail in that cabin, trying to find a clue that could lead us to where Tobias had taken Reid.

I felt someone had ripped my heart from my chest. I had to think straight, and to do it, I had to keep a cold head. But as the hours passed, it became a more demanding and more challenging task to complete. I knew the whole team was suffering, but that didn't ease my pain. And I knew JJ felt guilty, but that didn't stop me from blaming her in my mind. She left him alone. I would have never left Spencer alone on the field.

- "(Y/N), you should try to get some rest."

Derek whispered as he sat on the floor next to me, where I had been sitting for the last half hour, reading Tobias's old diaries. Nothing but fear of his father, mentions of Dilaudid use, and bible transcriptions.

- "I'm ok,"- I answered and didn't even take my eyes from the pages.

- "(Y/N), I mean it"

- "I'm not going to rest if he is out there in the hands of a psychopath, Derek"- I had to bite my lips and shut the fuck up, 'cos if I said one more word, I knew I was going to burst into tears.

Morgan just wrapped an arm around my shoulders and moved me closer to him. That was the first time I let him hug me, and it felt good to know I wasn't alone in my desperation. I knew he loved Reid like a brother, and neither of us was going to stop until we found him.

- "Welcome to our nightmare"- JJ's voice broke the silence we had been into for the last hour when Hotch walked into the cabin with Penelope.

It was morning already. There were still no signs of Reid. Prentiss, Gideon, JJ, and I had been sitting at the table, reading everything we could.

- "His computer is an extension of his brain. I need you to dissect it,"- Gideon whispered to García. You could feel the concern in his voice. She just nodded in shock and turned to Derek, who held her hand and helped her get set up in the computer room.

- "So, nothing new since I left?"- Hotch asked and looked at us. I just shook my head and continued reading.

- "Well, the good thing is the guy documented practically every second of his life"- Prentiss words took me from the pages I was reading. I looked at her and raised an eyebrow. The concept of "good" was poorly used in that phrase.

- "The bad news is, we are still un-piling,"- she added and sighed.

- "From the looks of it, he hasn't left this place in years,"- JJ managed to say. She made her best effort to be useful, but she was in worse shape than everybody else. Yet, that didn't make me feel bad for her. I was mad at her and kept making my best to put it aside, 'cos my head had to be in the case.

- "He knew he could pretend to be looking for a motel and throw us off his trail,"- Emily inferred, but I shook my head as soon as I heard her.

- "No, no, no, it's more than that!"- I shook my head and took a deep breath- "Sheriff's office, 911 calls, every time he engages the police and gets away with it... he reassures himself, God's on his side. Not ours."- I added.

Gideon nodded, and we shared a moment of agreement. He was as worried as I was. I could feel it. I'm not saying the rest of the team wasn't, I'm saying Jason was as fucked up as I was, and I could sense he was having the same trouble I had making sure my head and not my sentiments were into the case.

But if anything happened to Reid, I didn't know what I was capable of doing.

At a certain point, I got sick of reading and not doing anything and decided to look around the house again if we had missed anything. Derek went along. One part of me felt he wanted to stay away from JJ too. Maybe he was as mad as I was about her leaving Reid alone. I know I couldn't blame her, but I did it anyway.

- "Guys!! I think I've got something!"- Derek yelled, and I ran over. He opened a door that led to a basement. I walked right behind him, pointing my gun and my flashlight all over. But there was no sign of Reid.

- "Tobias Hankel!!"- Morgan shouted. Someone was sitting in what looked to be a gigantic freezer- "Tobias!"- but we didn't get any response. I took a step closer and examined carefully.

- "Morgan, I think we just found Hankel's father."

Spencer's point of view

On my second night in that cabin, I met Tobias. The third personality of Hankel walked into the room, carrying what seemed to be a dead deer. He looked as frightened as I was.

- "You need to eat."

- "What's your name?"

- "Tobias."

- "Tobias, who was here before?"

- "Probably my father."

He looked at me up and down, and he immediately understood what he had done to me. It was scary how he could dissociate. Someone with multiple personality disorder is usually unaware of the other personality states and memories when an alter is dominant. In this case, Tobias knew the other personalities but considered them different persons. He didn't think they were all in his head.

- "I'm sorry if he hurt you."

He looked at me like he understood everything I had been going through. Maybe he had been through something similar when his father was alive. Perhaps he had been a victim of Hankel as well, and that's what triggered his psychopathic nature.

He walked over and took out his belt.

- "What are you doing?"- he wrapped it around my arm, and I started begging him to stop.

- "It helps"- he took out of his pocket a needle and a small bottle of what seemed to be some kind of drug.

- "Don't tell my father. He doesn't know they are here."

- "Please, I don't want it, I don't want it, please"- I cried and begged.

- "It helps. I know"- it was the last thing Tobias said before the needle found my vein.

And he was right. It helped. Every single amount of pain I was feeling disappeared. My brain shut down. Somehow, everything was ok. I never had in my entire life felt so good before.

My mind kept flashing memories of when I was a kid. I kept seeing images of the day my father left and how he called my mother crazy.

- "You are weak"- mom spit those words after he refused to take me with him. I know she said it not because she didn't want me with her, but because mom knew she was sick and wanted the best for me. And he refused.

- "I'm not weak."- I whispered as I looked at her smiling back at me.

- "I know, honey."

I don't know how long I was drugged, but when I woke up, Tobias wasn't there with me anymore. It was his father.

And the torture continued.

(Y/N)'s point of view

Gideon was trying to convince me to go out with Prentiss and JJ to see a Narcotics anonymous's contact that might give us more information about Tobias. Emily had found some flyers about it in his room, and it could be the only lead we had to find him and Reid.

- "You need to get out of this house for a while"- he whispered and tapped on my back.

I knew he wasn't the one to be loving or physical with people, less with me. But that moved me. I turned to him and my eyes watered up. I was scared, and I couldn't hide it anymore. The more hours passed, the fewer the chances were to find Spencer safe. Alive.

I felt his arms around me suddenly, holding me tight, trying to keep the pieces of me together. We were alone on the porch, and though I didn't want to fall apart, I couldn't hold it anymore.

Jason didn't say a word. He just hugged me and let me cry for a few minutes. I didn't say anything either. I actually couldn't because I was overwhelmed with everything.

- "Are you ready, (Y/N)?"

Prentiss whispered as she walked over with JJ. I turned my back at them for a second to hide the tears that kept falling down my cheeks. I knew it was a shitty thing to do, 'cos it was obvious I had been sobbing, but they gave me the courtesy of not saying anything.

- "You go, I need (Y/N)'s assistance with some diary entries"- the two of them walked away quietly, and thankfully, didn't argue with Gideon.

- "Thank you,"- I whispered and felt his hand on my shoulder one more time.

- "You are doing a fantastic job,"- he said and turned around.

I wish I could tell you that made me feel better, but instead, I just thought I had the duty to bring my friend back home safe.

It had been at least an hour since the girls left. Morgan, Hotch, Gideon, and the police chief were in the living room with me, reading. I sipped my hundredth cup of coffee and re-read the same diary entry for the third time.

- "There's something weird going on here."- I thought out loud and walked towards Gideon

- "You think?"- the police chief turned to me and raised an eyebrow, ironically.

- "No, seriously, check this out. This journal is filled with religious ramblings. He notated hour by hour: "November 15th, 3:17, if ye offer a sacrifice of peace offering unto the Lord, ye shall offer it at your own will", and it goes on and on: 5:04, 7:41, 10:22, 1:42."

I made a short pause and looked at Gideon and Hotch. They didn't get where I was going.

- "But then, it goes blank for days."

- "Maybe he got sick of writing"- I seriously hated that police chief.

- "I think I got it"- Hotch whispered- "Journal entry: "December 6th. Father is sick. He wants me to put him down. I say thou shalt not kill. He said, honor thy father. Must pray for guidance."

- "So he kills his father as an act of mercy?"- Gideon asked, knowing the answer.

- "This is two months ago. Tobias Hankel's father had been dead for four months already."

- "That's exactly it"- I murmured, thinking Tobias Hankel was way more fucked up than we thought.

- "Look at the floor"- Derek pointed at a chair and moved it- "These scuffs marks are fresh. It's like two people were pushing the chairs constantly, trying to fight for control."

- "So?"- I swear to God, that chief was driving me insane.

- "This journal matches Charles Hankel's handwriting, but it was written after he died"- I explained. Still, it felt he wasn't following me.

- "What do you mean?"

- "Upstairs, Tobias' bedroom got junk piled from floor to ceiling, but the other bedroom could pass a military inspection."

- "So, are you telling me one of Tobias' personalities was his father?"

Apparently, I had to draw a picture so the chief would get it. Fortunately, Gideon continued explaining the whole problem before I lost what was left of my patience.

- "Well, Tobias was raised with a strict religious code, black and white, right and wrong. When his father asked Tobias to kill him, something had to give."

- "His brain couldn't handle the moral contradiction, so he split into two personalities to keep his father alive."

Hotch tried to put it most easy and simple words possible.

- "So, who is Raphael?"

- "My guess, he is a mediator between the two"- Gideon nodded at my words and sighed.

- "Angels have no human emotions, live or die. They don't care, as long it's God's will."

- "We need to start profiling Tobias' father. He may be the one who chose where to take Reid."

Finally, I felt we were going somewhere.

When Emily and JJ came back, they gave us the news. Tobias was addicted to Dilaudid, which explained the fracture in his mind, and how he lived with three distinct personalities.

The police chief announced a computer store robbery, giving us some hopes that Tobias would use them to track him down.

- "Guys!! Guys!! get in here!!- I heard Derek shouting and I ran to the computer room. I felt sick in the stomach in less than a second. There he was, Spencer. My Spencer Walter Reid, tied to a chair, bleeding, shoeless. Clearly tortured.

- "He's been beating,"- I whispered, feeling my eyes water up. I would have given anything to be there instead of him.

- "Can you track him?!"- JJ yelled by my side, and I nearly smacked her. That's how sensitive I was feeling.

- "Hankel's only streaming this to his home computer."- Garcia whispered. And my heart dropped with those words.

That wasn't what I was supposed to hear. We were supposed to find him and bring him back safe.

- "This is for us"- Gideon didn't take his eyes from the screen- "He knows we are here."

- "I'm gonna put this guy's head on a stick"- Morgan was so mad I believed him. I wanted to do the same, if worse.

- "I'm gonna kill him myself as soon as we find him,"- I said and felt Aaron's hand on my shoulder as he asked Garcia

- "Why can't you locate him?"

- "He's rerouting to a different IP address every 30 seconds. I can't track him."

It knew it had to be hard if Penelope couldn't find her, but that didn't help. If anything, it made everything worse. I felt powerless. Hankel couldn't be more intelligent than us.

Spencer's point of view

- "Are you ready, boy?"- Hankel pulled my hair and forced me to look at him. I was still as high as fuck, but knew I was about to be tortured again.

- "Ready for what?"

- "My weakling son thinks God gave you to him for a reason"- if the reason was to get me into drugs, then the answer was yes.

Hankel placed a video camera in front of me.

- "Can you really see inside men's minds?"- he asked me and made a pause, pointing to three screens- See these vermin?

It took me a second to realize he was showing me images of real people. He had put cameras in those people's houses. How? When? What kind of sick game did he want me to play with him?

- "Choose one to die. I let you choose one to live."

- "No"- I didn't even think about my answer.

- "I thought you wanted to be some kind of savior."

- "You are a sadist and a psychotic break. You won't stop killing. Your word is not true."

I don't know if it was because of the drugs or because I hadn't eaten or drank any water in too long, but I was somehow resigned and tired of fighting.

- "The other heathens are watching- Hankel announced and pointed at the camera in front of me."

My eyes fixated on the camera right away. My team was watching me. (Y/N) was watching me. I didn't want to make her worry even more. I needed her to know I was ok. I know I wasn't, but I didn't want her to worry about me.

- "Choose a sinner to die, and I'll say the name and address of the person to be saved"- Hankel was sick. It was all a game, and religion was just an excuse to kill.

- "I won't get to choose who gets slaughtered and have you leave their remains behind like a poacher."

Hankel didn't like my answer, 'cos he grabbed me and pulled me up, looking into my eyes, insulted, annoyed, losing his temper.

- "Can you really see into my mind, boy?"

He was honestly scary, and it petrified me to think he could execute me right there, in front of the team, and I could never tell them how much they mean.

- "Can you see I'm not a liar?!"- he insisted. I nearly whimpered but made my best not to break- "Choose one to die and save a life. Otherwise, they are all dead."

He dropped me on the chair and turned around. It was clear he wasn't joking. I took a deep breath and nodded.

- "Alright, I'll choose who lives."

- "They are all the same"

My eyes traveled across all the monitors. It was nearly impossible to pick one person to live, knowing all the other people there would die. Hankel was sick, and I had to set a plan to escape because otherwise, I would end up dead.

- "Far right screen,"- I whispered. He turned around and nodded.

Then, he recited the name and address of the woman on the screen. I prayed for the team to find her before Hankel came after her too.

No. It wasn't Hankel this time.

- "Raphael,"- I whispered, and he nodded. I looked at the screen again. The woman we were watching picked up the phone. She was in her kitchen. He walked around, frowned, and turned to her computer. In a second, she had turned it off. My team had reached her. She was safe, I hoped.

Hankel turned the camera off and looked at me.

- "You've done your part. Now it's my turn."

I knew what that meant. It wasn't good.

He left the cabin, and all I could see were the monitors in front of me. Those people were going to die. They were going to die because I didn't pick them. I killed them. You don't need to pull a trigger to kill someone. I could never forget those words. And this time, they meant more than anytime before. I didn't press a trigger, but I had killed two innocent people. And I actually had to watch them die.

When I saw Rapahel walk into the victims' house, I tried to close my eyes and think of anything else. A part of me kept thinking he wasn't going to kill them. He just wanted to threaten me.

But not. Raphael slaughtered them.

I found myself craving whatever it was that Tobias had given me the night before. The drug in my veins had given me a kind of peace I had never felt. And I never thought I'd have either. The type of peace that can be addictive, 'cos it turns your head off. And God knows, sometimes I needed to turn my head off.

Remembering everything that has ever happened to me, especially all the awful things, wasn't a gift. It was a burden. And whatever it was that Tobias had put in my veins, it had taken that burden from my shoulders, at least for a couple of hours.

Who wouldn't want some more of that peace?

- "Reid!"- Gideon's voice took me from my thoughts. He was sitting right in front of the camera in the victim's house. He was there with Hotch and the police, investigating the crime scene.

- "If you are watching this, you are not responsible for this. You understand me? he is perverting God to justify murder. You are stronger than him. He can not break you."

I know he meant it. But I couldn't believe any of that, not after watching a family get slaughter just because I didn't pick them.

(Y/N)'s point of view

- "I thought you were going to try and get some rest,"- I said as JJ walked to me in silence. I made myself my hundredth cup of coffee, and she just showed up next to me, trying to engage in conversation, I guess.

- "Everybody else is working. I should be too."

- "We can handle it,"- I whispered and refused to look at her. I swear I was trying not to hate her, but it was getting harder and harder with every hour that passed without finding Reid.

- "It's funny, I keep thinking the one thing we need to crack this case is... well... Reid"- she chuckled, nervously and I just looked at her and nodded. I didn't even smile. I didn't move a muscle.

I didn't want to be with her, or anyone, as a matter of fact. And I wasn't going to hide it anymore. So I tried to walk away.

- "You think Reid and I should have stayed together at the barn, don't you?"

I stopped walking and looked at her. You could tell she was having a hard time facing the whole situation, and most of all, you could tell she felt guilty.

That really didn't stop me from being mad at her. I was trying to be the better woman during the investigation, but the uncertainty was getting on my nerves.

- "JJ, go get some rest,"- I tried to answer calmly, but I knew I was looking at her like she was dead to me.

- "I can tell that's what you are thinking, so..."

- "I just wanna get Spencer home safe."

- "But... if I had his back like I was supposed to do, he'd be here now"- and that was enough.

- "JJ, what the fuck do you want from me?"

- "I just...."- she was about to cry, you could tell- "I want someone to tell me the truth."

- "You want the truth? Ok, there you go: I would have never left him alone. None of this would have happened if I had been the one with him out there! 'cos I would never let anyone or anything hurt him!!"

I shouted. All the anger I had been feeling those days was finally getting off my chest. And fuck, it felt good.

- "You fucked it up, JJ, and if something happens to Spencer, I am never going to forgive you, never!"

JJ bit her lips, trying her best not to cry. But I still couldn't feel sorry for her.

- "Is that the truth you were looking for?"

- "(Y/L/N)?"- Hotch stood next to me with the most annoyed look in his eyes.

I knew I was out of line, but this wasn't about work anymore. This was personal. This was Reid we were talking about, and JJ had fucked it up. There was nothing to discuss.

- "What? You sent him with her, now she is here, and he isn't. What else is there to say?"

- "(Y/N)!"- Hotch followed me as I stormed out of the kitchen and out of the cabin- "(Y/N)! stop!"

- "What?!"- and I simply snapped- "Are you gonna suspend me for telling her the truth? Are you going to fire me for losing my shit while working a case!? Fine! I don't care! I don't give a fuck! All I care about right now is that my best friend is missing, and a fucking psychopath has him! That's all I can think of. That's all I've been thinking about for the last two days!"

I was yelling at Hotch. I was yelling at my unit chief. I was fucked. I knew he was going to fire me after that. But I couldn't help it. I was going insane. Tears kept falling from my eyes as I held my cup of coffee tight, holding onto it with my life.

- "(Y/N), we are all worried about Reid."

- "I know you are all worried. I am too, and I'm also afraid and mad and going fucking insane knowing I am standing here not knowing what to do to save him."

- "That doesn't give you the right to treat JJ like this is her fault"- I don't know if he was talking like my unit chief or like a father figure trying to end a fight between two of his kids.

- "Did she stay with Reid?"- I simply replied and looked at Hotch in the eyes- "Did she?"

- "She is not the only one who feels guilty, so do I. And I know I won't forgive myself if anything happens to Reid."

Hotch made a pause and tried to find a way to say what he wanted to say. The door opened, and Gideon walked to us. He knew what was going on, and he didn't say a thing. I was sure he had already heard everything. We weren't actually arguing quietly.

- "We are not getting any closer,"- Aaron finally said.

- "Reid is brilliant. He'll figure out how to survive"- Gideon's words were way more hopeful than my thoughts. In my mind, Reid was too scared to think of a way to escape.

- "You know, I always take advantage of Reid for his brain. But I never actually teach him how to deal with things emotionally."

Hotch whispered, and his words were filled with regret. I was filled with anger and anxiety, and I know the two of them felt the same. But they way better at handling their feelings.

- "Lead by example,"- Jason answered, probably trying to make him feel better.

- "What kind of example is that?"- I simply replied, and both of them stayed in silence.

I don't think my words helped Hotch, but I wasn't trying to do that either. I was just honest. And Hotch's emotional assistance was shit on the field. Even Gideon was better.

- "He'll make it,"- Jason reassured us and nodded- "Now stop arguing and go back to work."

Spencer's point of view

I was glad when Tobias came to me that night with a needle in his hand and put the drug into my vein. I needed some release after watching a family die 'cos I didn't save them.

- "I'm sorry I had to leave"- he excused himself, preparing the drug next to me.

- "You can leave again, and you can take me with you,"- I begged in a soft voice.

- "My father would be angry,"- he replied and didn't even look at me. This time, I didn't even argue when he wrapped the belt around my arm. I was even a little eager he'd do it faster.

- "Not if he can't find us."

- "He always finds me."

- "If you tell me where we are, my friends will come, and they'll save us."

He gave me a look, mixed with horror and resignation. It broke my heart to think for a moment of all the horrors that lead Tobias to be as sick as he was.

- "We can't be saved,"- he simply replied.

- "We can, we can, I promise. If you tell me where we are, I'll save us both."

- "Listen to me. It's not worth fighting."

Somehow, I understood why he said that. I was afraid and shaking but still did my best not to think of all the pain I was in, of the terror that haunted me day and night.

- "Tell me it doesn't make it better- he said and showed me the needle."

I couldn't say no, 'cos he was right. It did. The drugs made his horrible situation bearable. I could understand why someone decided to use something to avoid the pain. I had faced all and each one of the pain and horrors in my life sober. It was time life was a little bit sweeter, in a sick way.

I remembered being twelve. Mom had had one of her episodes the day before, she was in bed, and I woke her up. I walked into her room and opened the curtains. It was already five in the afternoon, and she still refused to get out of bed.

- "The doctor says you need to get out of bed,"- I argued when she repeated she was just resting.

- "I've been reading"

- "He says you need exercise"- she sighed and tried to make a joke.

- "That's because his idea of good literature is Our bodies, ourselves."

- "Well, he is your doctor."

- "He is a neanderthal"- I gave up and started walking out of the room. She just laid in bed and looked at me.

- "Where are you going?"

- "I'm going to see if Jeff wants to play"- Jeff was our next-door neighbor and my only friend growing up.

- "Come here. Let me read to you."

I know Garcia made fun of me when I said my mother used to read me Valentine's sonnets when I was a kid. Most people think I have a weird relationship with mom, but they don't understand what it was like growing up with her. They don't know what it was like for a twelve-year-old boy to finish high school, facing bullies. Handling the pressure of being a kid genius and the fact I had to take care of a schizophrenic mother.

How come I didn't start using drugs earlier?

I remember that afternoon I sat next to my mother, and she made me pick one of the many books she had with her on the bed. I choose Proust. I knew she loved it. I loved it as well.

"For a long time, I used to go to bed early. Sometimes, when I had put out my candle, my eyes would close so quickly that I had not even time to say, "I'm going to sleep."

I can still hear her voice, reading to me. Both of us avoided reality for a while, hiding in the books. I always do it regardless. I hide in the books to forget. I hide in knowledge to avoid acknowledging the real personal issues I have. I hide in my work saving people when no one ever saved me.

I work catching psychopaths when I know I might actually have a mental issue myself. I might end up just like mom, and it frightens me so much; there are many nights I can't even close an eye. If I get sick too, then no one will take care of her. I am the only one in her life. And she is the only one in mine.

She and (Y/N), but there is no way my best friend would ever take care of me if I got sick. Not because she wouldn't want to do it, but because I would never let her. I don't want to be a burden in her life. And she would hate me, I know. And I could never live in a world where (Y/N) hates me. Not then, not now.

(Y/N). She is the best thing that happened to me in the BAU. Yes, I had a family with my team, but she was different. She was my life. She was the reason why I smiled. She was the one person that made me feel I was important to someone. I knew the rest of my friend loved me, but I loved her.

That was it. I loved (Y/N). And I was scared I was never going to see her again.

(Y/N)'s point of view

I was standing next to Penelope. She kept trying to force me to eat. She knew I was living on coffee, but I just couldn't swallow anything. She held my hand as the two of us stared at the screens, hopefully waiting for Hankel to make contact again.

- "Any more signs of Reid?"- JJ walked over to us slowly and looked at me, afraid I might snap on her again. I just shook my head and sighed, doing my best to be nice to her.

- "He just posted the last murder online."

- "It had over 17 thousand hits in the first twenty minutes,"- Penelope added, and her voice was so full of revulsion. It was clear she couldn't handle the horror in the human mind.

- "I want to see it,"- JJ said, and I frowned, confused.

- "No, you don't,"- Garcia answered and looked at me- "Come on, munchkin, just eat one cookie, please."

- "Don't tell me what I want and don't want!"- JJ's tone shocked us both. She was severe and angry. She was rude at Penelope, and for a second, I almost snapped again.

- "If I can't watch this..."- JJ whispered and glued her eyes on the screen- "I have no business being in the field."

She looked at me when she was done talking, and for once during those awful days, I felt some kind of compassion for her. She had to be feeling like shit, no doubt, and no matter how mad I was at her, she was still my friend, and I didn't want her to suffer either.

- "JJ, it's not a competition,"- I tried to say in the softest voice possible.

- "I... I need to see it."

- "If you stop being affected by things, you lose parts of yourself, you know."

It was somehow ironic that I was the one saying those things. Me of all people in that team. Me, the one who was afraid the most of losing herself in work.

- "Show me"- she finally looked at Garcia, ignoring my words, and Penelope pleased her. She pushed play and simply said

- "I won't watch this with you."

García held my hand, walking me out of the room, leaving JJ alone in the room. She sighed and wiped the tears that started falling down her eyes.

- "I don't know how you do it either"- she whispered- "I don't know how you watch those things every day and don't go insane."

- "If it makes you feel better, I don't know how I do either, and it scared me to think my heart might be numbing with each case we solve. With every psychopath we catch."

- "We are gonna find him"- she assured me and held my hands tight- "We are bringing him home safe, I swear."

- "Let's go find Gideon,"- I said, nodding at her words- "He needs to know Tobias posted the last murder."

Jason was mad, beyond furious. He was losing it. Derek and Prentiss kept trying to crack Hankel and discover where he had taken Reid. Meanwhile, Garcia, Gideon, and I made our best to take the video of the murder from the web.

- "I have a list of everyone from the file-sharing chain. I could send out a mass warning that the video is actually a virus,"- Garcia said and started typing as fast as possible. I just stared at the screen, waiting for something, anything to happen.

But I wasn't waiting for what came next.

- "Confess your sins"- Hankel's voice made me jump, and the sight of Reid, still tied to that chair, bleeding, and being tortured, broke my heart again.

- "Confess!!"- that sick psychopath shouted and hit him.

- "I haven't done anything,"- Spencer sobbed, but it was useless. Hankel kept punching him, over and over again, even when my best friend begged for mercy.

I felt Jason hold my hand as I was holding Garcia's. The three of us felt powerless, useless, angry, and scared, all at the same time. I couldn't bear to watch Reid being tortured, but at the same time, I was so glad he was still alive.

That until Hankel beat him so hard, he pushed him back in the chair, and Reid started convulsing.

- "He is killing him,"- Penelope cried, and I closed my eyes, biting my lips. Spencer was choking, and that mother fucker just stood there, watching him die.

- "That's the devil vacating your body"- he spit those words as Reid simply passed out. I didn't know if he was dead. I didn't know if he was going to make it. Shit! I didn't know anything.

I let go of Jason and Penelope and stormed out of the room. I was unprofessional, and I knew it, but I knew I would quit if anything happened to Reid. I wasn't going to stay working at the BAU if Spencer died.

- "Are you ok?"- Derek grabbed my arm. I just broke into tears and held him tight. He wrapped his arms around me and let me cry.

- "He's dying! We can't find him!!"- I sobbed against his chest.

- "(Y/N)! (Y/N)!"- I heard Penelope yelling as we all rushed back to the computer room. Hankel was giving CPR to Reid, trying to bring him back to life.

- "Come on, come on, please,"- I begged as I watched him pushing his chest over and over again until Spencer woke up, gasping for air.

- "Thank God!"- Hotch sighed and rubbed his hands against his face. The whole team let out a breath of relief simultaneously, and I kept watching Reid. His opened eyes gave me hope.

- "Wait,"- Prentiss said suddenly- "When was the video of the last murder posted?"

- "Nine thirty"- Penelope answered

- "And when was the time of death?"

- "The 911 call came in at 9:04, and the murder must have been moments later."- Hotch added and didn't even turn to look at Prentiss. We were all still shocked looking at the screen.

- "That's just a 19 minutes difference,"- I said and turned to García- "How long would it take to post that file?"

- "Two or three minutes."

- "Let's call it two,"- I said, getting excited- "You figure a maximum of 60 miles an hour in a residential area. That means Hankel has to be within a 17-mile radius of the crime scene."

For a second, I felt I was rambling facts just like Reid would. It made me miss him even more.

- "García, can we see it on the map?"- Aaron whispered. He was clearly affected, and it also made me feel selfish, knowing I had made a tantrum with the whole team, forgetting they were suffering as well.

- "Call chief Farraday"- Jason commanded as soon as we saw the map of the area on the screen- "I want that area locked down like it's martial law."

JJ stood up and grabbed her phone but didn't make the call. García warned us something was going on with Reid and all of us stared at the screen in silence.

Spencer was on his back on the floor, still tied to a chair. It was clear he wasn't fully conscious of what was happening.

- "You came back to life,"- mother fucker Hankel said, spitting the words in anger.

- "Raphael,"- Reid whispered, recognizing one of his personalities.

- "There can be only one of two reasons."

- "I was given CPR,"- my friend whispered, but it was clear that wasn't one of the psycho's options.

- "There are no accidents. How many members of our team are watching us right now?"

- "Seven."

- "The seven angels who had the seven trumpets prepared themselves to sound. The first sounding followed hail, and they were thrown to the earth."

- "He thinks it's the revelations"- Hotch explained- "The seven archangels versus the seven angels of death."

I didn't know much about religion, but it didn't take a genius to figure out he didn't believe we were the good guys.

- "Tell me who you serve."

- "I serve you,"- Reid answered right away. His voice was a whisper. He had to be exhausted.

- "Then choose one to die"

- "What?!"

- "Your team members, choose one to die"- I knew what he was going to answer at that, and I didn't want to hear it.

- "Kill me,"- he replied immediately, and I closed my eyes, unable to watch what would happen next.

- "You said you weren't one of them."

- "I lied."

- "Your team has seven other members. Tell me who dies."

- "No"- Penelope gasped, and Prentiss cursed. I opened my eyes and nearly fainted. Hankel had a gun pointed against Reid's forehead.

The silence amongst the team was unbearable. Neither of us knew what to do. We were all panicking, praying, desperate.

- "Choose and prove you'll do God's will."

- "No."

Neither of us moved. Neither of us breathed until Hakel pulled the trigger, and no bullet came out. I nearly sigh, but it wasn't over.

- "Choose"- he repeated

- "I won't do it"- Hankel didn't even wait. He just pulled the trigger, and we all jumped at the same time. He was safe again.

- "Life is a choice."

- "No,"- Reid repeated once again. And Hankel pulled the trigger for the third time.

- "Choose"- and for the first time, Spencer made a pause. Was going to pick one of us to die?

- "I choose"- the whispered- "Aaron Hotchner."

Derek and I looked at him, and his pale face didn't move a muscle.

- "He's the classic narcissist. He thinks he's better than everyone else on the team. Genesis 23:4 "Let him not deceive himself, and trust in emptiness, vanity falseness, and futility, for these shall be his recompense."

Hotch stormed out of the room as Hankel pulled the trigger one more time and shot the wall.

I felt I was going to puke. If Reid hadn't picked one of us, he would be dead.

- "For God's will,"- the mother fuck said, as he put another bullet in the gun after removing the casing.

I couldn't look anymore. I followed Gideon and Derek to find Aaron going through all Tobias's diaries on the table.

- "I'm not a narcissist,"- he said as soon as he saw us.

- "Come on. Look, you can't think anything from that"- Jason tried to calm him down, in case he was somehow affected by what Reid had just said on camera- "He is not in his right mind, Hotch."

- "No, stop, stop. Alright, everybody, right now: what's my worst quality?"

He had to be kidding. We all stared at him, muted, lost in that conversation. What was his point? Neither of us said a word. We just looked at each other, confused and awkward.

- "Ok, I'll start. I have no sense of humor."

- "You are a bully,"- JJ added.

- "You can be a drill sergeant sometimes,"- I said, and he nodded.

- "Right."

- "You don't trust women as much as men"- you could feel it in Prentiss's voice. That one was personal.

- "Ok, good. I'm all these things, but none of you said that I ever put myself above the team because I don't, ever. Reid and I argued about the definition of classic narcissism, and he knew that I would remember that. He also quoted Genesis chapter 23, verse 4. Read it."

Hotch gave me the book. He wasn't even breathing as she spoke. He was in a hurry. We were all.

- "I'm a stranger and a sojourner with you. Give me property, forbear a place among you that I may bury my dead of my sight."

- "He wouldn't get it wrong unless it were on purpose."

- "He is in a cemetery."- I said and looked at him. He nodded, and I swear to God, I saw a slight smile on his lips. That smile was hope. We were getting closer.

Spencer's point of view

I took a sip of water. I hadn't drunk in days, and my throat burned. I was still a little lost, still a little off.

- "Tobias, is that you?"- I saw him nod, sitting next to me. He moved the cup of water closer so that I could drink some more.

- "Thank you,"- I whispered and looked at him- You saved my life- he stared down at the ground and finally whispered

- "I'm sorry."

- "Why?"

- "He'll win in the end."

It was sad to see Tobias Hankel's good person locked inside a sick mind that also held a psychopath like his father.

- "Tobias, I need to know something. It's important. Are we in a cemetery?"- and he nodded. I smiled at him and sighed, relieved. Help was coming. My team was coming.

- "I used to come here to get high."

- "I was right."

- "No one bothers you here. I never told anyone about it."

He wrapped his belt around my arm, and I turned to him, still smiling. I didn't know if I were happy I was right or glad I would get high again. Maybe both. Maybe the second 'cos the minute that needle got to my vein, that sweet, sweet release felt like a bath of joy that washed away any pain, regret, or guilt I could have ever felt.

Guilt. I've had my share of that. I remember the day I had my mom admitted to the hospital. She hadn't eaten in days. She wouldn't take care of herself, and they're just so much I could do. I wasn't able to keep her safe from herself, from her mind.

- "What are these men doing here?"- she asked me as I walked with two nurses into the study. She was writing and reading. It was all she did, preparing lectures for classes she didn't have to give, in imaginary campuses.

I stood in front of her and hesitated for a second. It was the hardest thing I had ever done, telling mom I was taking her away from her own house.

- "They are from the hospital. They are here to help,"- I whispered and looked at my mother's confused expression. She was so thin. She looked so sick. I felt so guilty I couldn't do better for her.

- "I don't need help, and you can't be here without permission, tell them, Spencer."

She looked down at her books again and tried to continue writing. I took a deep breath, I knew I would break her heart, but there was nothing else I could do.

- "I called them"- she looked at me in pain. Deep, honest pain. Like I had just shattered her heart. Which I had done.

- "Spencer"- she simply whispered and stared into my eyes, begging for an explanation. I was trying my best not to cry. I had a whole speech prepared. I was going to tell her how much I loved her. I was going to explain to her how good it was for her to be in a place where someone could continuously take care of her. I had facts and statistics, but all I managed to say was:

- "I'm doing this for you."

And I felt like a liar. 'Cos, there was a part of me that was doing it for myself too.

- "This isn't legal"- she shook her head in shock and kept trying to find a good explanation to what was going on.

- "Your son is eighteen, ma'am. He can act in your welfare,"- one of the make nurses explained to her.

- "You need help,"- I said and prayed she could understand. But she just burst into tears and begged.

- "I wanna stay here!"

- "I'm... sorry, mom."

- "Please, these are my things, this is my life..."

Those men took her. They took her from her house and put her in a hospital. No. I put her there. I put my mom in a hospital so I could live my life, 'cos I am selfish and couldn't take care of her anymore.

- "Spencer, please, don't do this to me."

Those were the words that haunted me day and night. And my mother's crying face, begging me not to take her from her own house.

What kind of a son am I? I did that to her. I put her in a mental place 'cos I couldn't deal with her disease anymore. 'Cos I didn't know how to take care of her.

- "What are you sorry for, boy?"- I heard Hankel ask when I woke up. I was muttering, "Sorry" as I came back from my trip.

- "I sent her away."

- "Who."

- "My mom. I couldn't help her."

- "Is that a confession?"- I nodded and looked around, confused. Lost. High- "You know the bible. Exodus 21:17"

- "And he that curseth his father or his mother shall surely be put to death,"- I whispered, scared and full of regret.

I heard him walk towards me. He kneeled and uncuffed me. I didn't know what was happening. Honestly, I was still too high to get what was going on around me.

- "Grab a shovel,"- he commanded and walked outside.

I was too weak to dig fast. I don't know how I was actually moving, but I was digging my own grave. I never thought I would ever end up doing such a thing. It's not something you think about, actually. Not unless you work in the BAU. Here, you start analyzing and considering the way you'll die: 'Cos you could, every day.

- "I ought to bury you alive in there, give you some time to think about what you've done,"- Hankel said and looked at me while I worked, playing with a knife.

- "I know what I've done."

- "Don't talk back to me! Dig!"

I pant and kept moving, very slowly, trying to buy myself some time too. I was sure the team was coming to get me any minute now. I was counting on them, though the more I thought about it, the less worthy of salvation I felt. Maybe I deserved to die after all.

I was almost certain I had seen some lights moving in the back. Flashlights. But it could be my mind playing tricks on me. I was too tired. And still too high, too.

- "Dig faster!"- he commanded me as I moved, losing my breath.

- "I'm not strong enough"- I cried, 'cos I felt like that. Like a failure, a child that aimed to be a grown-up and failed miserably. A bad son. The worst agent. A fake that deserved to die.

- "You are all weak!! Get out of there!"

Hankel took off his coat and left it on the ground. I slowly moved so he could dig for me, but the lights in the back took my attention, and he noticed. As soon as he turned around, I quickly grabbed his coat and reached out for the gun.

- "You've only got one bullet, son,"- he said as he looked at me. And I just pulled the trigger.

I shot him. I killed him. Hankel. Raphael. Tobias. I freed Tobias. Or at least, that is what I wanted to think.

- "Reid!!"- I heard (Y/N) yelling as I crawled to Tobia's body. He was still awake. He was himself.

- "You killed him"- he said, and he was relieved- "Do you think I'll get to see my mom again?"

- "I'm sorry,"- I whispered, and he was gone.

- "Reid!!"

(Y/N) yelled and ran over. She kneeled next to me and held me in her arms. I couldn't move, because for a few seconds, I couldn't believe she was real. She was there.

- "Honey, honey, are you ok? Can you hear me?"- she said, and tears started falling from her eyes- "Honey, it's me."

I just looked at her and hugged her. I hugged her as my life depended on it. There she was, next to me, finally.

- "I thought I was never going to see you again,"- I whispered and sobbed.

The urge to kiss her filled my whole body. I needed to taste her. I needed to show her how much I had needed her those days. But I knew I couldn't.

I didn't want to let her go. I didn't for a few minutes. I just hold onto her for my sanity. She kissed my forehead, cupping my face with both hands.

- "I'm so happy to see you. I'm glad you are ok... let's go to the ambulance, ok?"- I nodded but didn't let her go. I felt I could hold her forever. I wanted to keep her close for as long as I lived.

But the rest of the team gathered around us, and I wanted to thank them too. I needed to thank Hotch. So as soon as I let (Y/N) go, I wrapped my arms around him.

- "You alright?"- he asked me.

- "I knew you'd understand,"- I managed to say with tears falling from my eyes and a knot in my throat.

For a moment, I thought I was never going to see the team again. My family.

JJ held me close and apologized. I knew she felt guilty for leaving me alone, but I was the only one culpable for what had happened. I wanted to prove myself, and all I managed to do was prove I was a fool. A useless SSA.

- "It's alright, it wasn't your fault,"- I said and did my best to smile at her. But I know I failed. Gideon grabbed my arm and nodded.

- "Let's get you out of here."

- "Please,"- I whispered before we started walking- "Can I have a second alone?"- he looked at me and nodded, looking at Tobias' body lying by our side. He walked away, and I kneeled next to my capturer.

But instead of paying my respects, instead of cursing. Instead of anything, I took the Dilaudid bottles from his pocket and put them into mine.

And that's how the real hell started.

--

DIWK Taglist:

@all-tings-diego @big-galaxy-chaos @svveet-peas @muffin-cup @shilohpug

Spencer taglist

@calm-and-doctor

General Taglist

@spenxerslut @ash19871962

–

Do you want to be on the taglist or ramble about this chapter with me? Just send me a message here.

Next update: May 5th, 2021

#Spencer Reid #criminal minds #spencer reid fanfic #babymetaldoll writes #cm fanfic #criminal minds fanfic #Emily prentiss #Aaron Hotchner #jennifer jareau #derek morgan #penelope garcia #emily prentiss #babymetaldoll edits #criminal minds fanfiction #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x you #spencer reid fanfiction

[ecoamerica]

Watch the American Climate Leadership Awards 2024 now: https://youtu.be/bWiW4Rp8vF0?feature=shared

The American Climate Leadership Awards 2024 broadcast recording is now available on ecoAmerica's YouTube channel for viewers to be inspired by active climate leaders. Watch to find out which finalist received the $50,000 grand prize! Hosted by Vanessa Hauc and featuring Bill McKibben and Katharine Hayhoe!

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[tf2-headcanons-and-scenarios]

Hewwo! Can I request some headcanons on how each mercenary would raise their daughter from childhood to adulthood? Thanksies!! Also, I adore your writing 😘💞

A/N: A nice short and sweet thing I hope you lot enjoy! My desire to have children when I’m older and married is strong so it fueled this for me :)

Scout:

- Honestly this man has no clue how to raise a daughter

- He knows how to raise boys, but knows nothing about raising girls, so you help him out more times than he wants to admit

- He definitely wants to make sure his daughter stays healthy and active, so growing up he introduces her to various sports

- Baseball, Softball and American Football are among the 3 most played sports between Scout and his daughter

- Early morning runs became a tradition between Scout and his girl growing up. Unless one was injured or sick, they would ALWAYS run in the morning

- Scout looks to you for giving your daughter life advice because try as he might he just can’t seem to give the right advice to her

- Overprotective? Nah, so long as his daughter doesn’t do something incredibly stupid or brings home a very dangerous partner

- When Scout’s daughter reaches adulthood, they continue with their morning jogs and start to play aggressively against each other in sport

Soldier:

- This man goes from hardcore drill seargent to hardcore softie in a matter of SECONDS after meeting his daughter for the first time

- This man is about discipline and self-routine. He’d try to make sure his daughter can look after herself properly in case anything was to happen

- He would definitely give in to the tea parties, he so would

- When she’s old enough, he’d teach her how to shoot a gun for self defence

- He leaves the stuff about school and girl-based advice to you

- He is literally the dad holding a shotgun when his daughter brings home a romantic partner, and he will intimidate them and their loyalty to his daughter

- Soldier will reward good behaviour and actions, often taking his daughter out to see a movie or get some ice cream

- When Soldier’s little girl becomes a woman, he’ll teach her how to use explosives and basically drop in with a packet of bread and stories to tell

Pyro:

- Pyro is just excited about having a daughter, that’s another person to host tea parties with!

- Dear god where they afraid of hurting her, especially since they worked with dangerous amounts of fire 24/7

- Cute clothes for the baby girl? FUCK YES!!!

- Stuffed toys? YOU BET!!!

- You enjoy watching Pyro play with your little girl, and you loved to join in

- All three of you celebrate the holidays like there is no tomorrow, and you absolutely love it

- Pyro surprisingly teaches your daughter how to be safe around fire. The last they want is to see their little girl covered in burn marks

- They are generally good with giving advice, but stuff like puberty is a zone Pyro does not go to, often leaving those questions with you

- When your daughter grows up, Pyro loves dropping in for tea, and definitely loves bringing up baby photos of your little girl

Demoman:

- Demoman is over the moon when he first met his daughter. He forever counts himself lucky he had the eyesight to see her

- Babyproofed the house and never laid a finger on explosives when she was around

- You never thought you’d see the day Demo would stop drinking, but ever since your daughter was born he didn’t touch a single drop

- He never consistently bagged your child about becoming a demolitions expert, but he always had fun making small and safe explosions in the yard every now and then

- He is the parent who sneaks their child a sip of Whiskey on the rocks. You were certainly not impressed when you caught him

- He did return to drinking as his daughter grew older, but he never drinks to the amounts he drank before she was born

- He is really good with life advice (thanks to his own mother), and is the dad that tries to guide his child along the straight and narrow path

- When she grows up he takes her down to the bar to drink responsibly, and he loves telling her stories of his days working as a mercenary

- You bet he tests the romantic partner with hardcore shots of Rum containing 90% Alcohol

- FYI such alcohol exists

Heavy:

- Heavy helped his mother raise his sisters for years, so having to look after a baby girl was easy for him

- Soft lullabies and fairytale stories at night were Heavy’s favourite moments of the day when your daughter was young

- Great with advice and puberty questions, though he sometimes turned to you to ask if he was answering them properly or not

- Definitely teaches his daughter fluent Russian and boxing

- As she gets older he starts talking more about his past as a mercenary and former life in a Russian gulag

- He definitely teaches his daughter the history of Russia and how bad things can be if a bad person was left in power

- When she grows up he is the loving father who loves talking as often as he can with his daughter. No matter how old she is, he would always call her by her childhood nicknames

Engineer:

- Engi wrote down lullabies on his guitar for her even before she was born

- Baby furniture was all assembled by hand by this Texan man

- He loves giving the infant girl cuddles and tries to get her to speak as early as humanly possible

- As she gets older he allows her into the workshop so long as she promises not to touch or break anything important or dangerous

- The amount of times this daughter of his has broken that rule is enough times to give him chronic back pains at the ripe old age of not-even-50-yet and you so very close to banning her from entering his workshop

- He is great with advice and even greater with schoolwork. He loves having discussions with her about subjects she doesn’t know too well. He will leave you with some personal questions if he can’t find the words for it

- He will encourage her to pursue her passions no matter what they were, even if society deemed it inappropriate. If she wanted to be a nurse or a lawyer or even the fucking Queen of England she can damn well strive to be just that!

- He invents various toys and items for her whenever an idea strikes him fancy, and he will teach her how to handle a wrench and a sink at least

- When she grows up he will continue making things for her and send them her way at random times. He will also be the aged father who loves playing the guitar for her

Medic:

- Local medical man knows you were pregnant with a girl before you were 3 months pregnant

- Said medical man was over the moon he had a daughter to look forward to (you found it surprising that he wanted to dress her up in a lot of cute outfits)

- Medic would always take charge with making sure you and your unborn daughter were healthy and happy throughout the pregnancy

- He would also be the one to deliver the baby! The amount of happy tears he shed holding her for the first time was the most happy you had seen him in a long time

- Having a baby kept Medic in his toes. No child of his, daughter or son, was going to go through the night with a cold!

- He is the one who always patches up his daughter’s scratches with bandaids and song-like words that cheer her up

- God forbid him even let her into the Medbay in the middle of an experiment

- Medic would let his child feed the birds, and Archimedes loves hanging around your daughter

- Medic would go to you for help when he needed advice on how to take care of his little girl properly, but otherwise the both of you were just fine

- When your daughter grew up the first thing she did was go to Medical school inspired by her father’s career, and he would help support her as much as he could

- She would also take care of her own brood of doves

- She promised to keep away from experimenting for your sake

Spy:

- THIS MAN WAS A NERVOUS WRECK WHEN HE FOUND OUT YOU WERE PREGNANT

- He already failed to raise one child, so why did fate give him another?!

- He promised himself he wouldn’t run like he did with his first child, and stuck with you throughout the pregnancy

- He would not let you mention how much he cried holding your daughter for the first time to anyone else

- He was a very cautious man once your daughter arrived. He even stopped smoking inside buildings to avoid ruining her lungs

- Taught her how to speak French as early as she could understand it. This may have lead her to develop his accent over time but you love it

- Advice was something Spy trusted you to do more than himself. He would never shake the fear he was going to fail at his second attempt at being a father

- You always found your heart melting whenever you caught your daughter and Spy resting with one another after reading a bedtime story

- Even after growing up, Spy always looked out for his daughter, and wouldn’t hesitate to protect her from any of his enemies that try to harm her or you

- He is forever grateful he was given a second chance at fatherhood, and did his best to not let it go to waste

A/N: So I’m back! Hope ya didn’t miss me too much. Thanks for being patient with me!! 💕💕

#tf2 #tf2 headcanons #tf2 x reader #tf2 scout x reader #tf2 soldier x reader #tf2 pyro x reader #tf2 demoman x reader #tf2 heavy x reader #tf2 engineer x reader #tf2 medic x reader #tf2 sniper x reader #tf2 spy x reader #scout x reader #soldier x reader #pyro x reader #demoman x reader #heavy x reader #engineer x reader #medic x reader #sniper x reader #spy x reader #teamfortress2headcanons #tf2 reader insert #team fortress 2

[someguynamedstevewrites]

My Roommate is an Apparition: An Apparition A-Pink-ciation of Culture

Based on characters created by @reddpenn

From the diary of Lily:

------------

When I was little, I used to talk to my stuffed animals all the time.  They were my soft, cuddly friends who were always there for me, and even though they never spoke a word, I always imagined I could hear what they wanted to say.  Even as an adult, I still treat inanimate objects like they’re people too.  In fact, everyone does at some point or another in their adult life.  Anyone who has ever argued with their car that refused to start knows what I mean.

But recently, I realized that sometimes people can do... well the opposite. That sometimes we don’t treat people (who are actual, real people) like they’re people.  It’s not something we consciously think about, but it’s more like we forget that, well, people are people.  I know this sounds really dumb, but I felt like I needed to write about this after a... well after an “argument” I had with my roommate.

I’ve lived with my roommate for a few months now, and I thought I had gotten to know them pretty well.   They like to watch cartoons (like, seriously LOVES them) and we had worked out a TV viewing schedule to make sure that we got along together.  But the other day, I realized that I wasn’t necessarily treating them like they were their own person.  I didn’t mean to do that, but it just kind of happened, and...

...well it gets really complicated because, technically, they aren’t a person.

I mean, they aren’t human; they’re an apparition.

It made me think about all those stories about monsters and ghosts.  Like a ghost used to be human, but then they died, and their spirit became a ghost.  Do we still treat the ghost like the person they were when they were alive?  Outside of a few exceptions, the answer’s a definite yes.

But what about an apparition? It’s kind of like a ghost, but it’s not. I mean, it’s not the soul of someone who died or anything. They just sort of exist. (Would Slimer from Ghostbusters be an apparition or a ghost?).

------------

So anyway, reason I’m bringing this all up is because of what happened last weekend. I was channel surfing through the Cable Guide and as I’m flipping through, I pass by Boomerang (you know, the cable channel that spun-off Cartoon Network to hold all the older cartoons?) and all of a sudden, my roommate appears out of nowhere (literally) and practically grabs the remote out from my hands.

“Hey! What gives!?” I say to them.

They immediately change over to Boomerang and my TV screen is suddenly filled up with the color pink. At the same time, my roommate starts “doot-ing” along with the song and goes, “Doo-Doot! Doo-Doot! Do-Doot-Do-Doot-Do-Doot Do-Doot-De-Dooooooooo-Doo-Doo-Doo-Doo-Doooot”. I have no idea what they’re doing, but then the cartoon starts up and it’s the Pink Panther.

Rhetorically, I go, “What’s this?”

“Pink... Panther...” my roomie says.

And then I make my first mistake by saying, “Huh. Never seen it before.”

Now if I had been paying attention to them, I probably would have seen the face of shock they were making. “You... NEVER... saw it!?” They gasped.

“Nope. Must have been before my time,” which was totally true. I mean, I later found out my Dad used to watch it when he was a kid. It wasn’t on TV when I was growing up. (Why am I defending myself for not watching a specific cartoon?)

Anyway, roomie asks, “Watch... with me?”

And then I, being a total dumbass, say, “Nah. Think I’ll get some dishes in,” before getting up and walking away.

If I had stayed put for just a few seconds longer, I would have heard them asking, “...please?” (In case you’re wondering, they told me about that later.)

------------

Yes, I hurt its feelings.  Yes, it was insensitive.  Yes, I am sorry.  But like I said, the thought didn’t even cross my mind back then.  As far as I knew, as long as my roommate had their cartoons, they were happy.  It didn’t occur to me that they cared about anything other than the cartoons themselves.

For the next week, my roommate made sure I knew, now and forever, that this was not true.

My first clue that they were mad at me was later that evening when I went to the living room to watch my usual shows.   It was my turn on the TV, and usually I have to pry my roommate away so I can watch what I want to watch. But that night, the instant I walked into the room, they changed the channel to what I wanted, put the remote down on the couch, and left the room without saying a word.  I thanked them, plopped myself down, and went straight into couch potato mode.

This should have thrown so many red flags in my head, but for some reason, it didn’t.  Maybe I was being too self-absorbed at the time? Maybe I was just tired and thinking, “Aww man, I gotta work tomorrow!”?  No matter the excuse, mistakes were made, and I started paying for them the very next morning.

My “haunting” kicked off with waking up to find most of my rock collection missing.  I have a particular affinity for pretty rocks and gems (I’m kind of a rock nerd) and have my favorites out on display.  But that morning, the only rocks that I could see were the pink ones.  Someone had pilfered almost every pebble from every pedestal to perturb me.   (I saw a chance for alliteration and took it! So sue me!)  I was still waking up and too tired to care about it at the time (me making excuses again) and had work, so I got ready to go and left.

Now I’m not sure how they did it, but my roommate did something to my car radio.   I turn it on and all I get are tunes by Henry Mancini.  Fifty percent of the time, it was the Pink Panther theme, twenty-five percent was the theme from A Shot In The Dark (I had to use Soundhound to figure out that one), and the rest was a mix of some of his other work.   It didn’t matter what station I tried changing it to!  Although I did learn that Mancini composed Baby Elephant Walk, so that’s something.

By now, I’d already figured out what was going on (roommate did it), but couldn’t really do anything about it because I still had work to go to.   As if the daily grind working at an art supply store wasn’t hard enough, I had to work while having the dang Pink Panther theme stuck in my head all day.  Not even the music that played over the store radio could get rid of it.  (Given the quote un-quote “music” they play over the speaker system, I eventually considered it a good thing.)

Then I came home, and that’s when things REALLY escalated.  First words out of my mouth after I walked in was, “Hey, I’m hoooOOOOOLY~!”  Every single wall in the apartment, from the living room, to the kitchen, to the bedroom, and even the bathroom...

PINK!

All of them were painted PINK!

Like strawberry frosted doughnut pink!

As I’m gawking at the interior design sugar rush nightmare, out walks my roommate from around the corner.  Immediately, the first thing I noticed was that they had feet. (Normally, they don’t have feet; they just kind of “hover” or “emerge from the ground” or something.) They had their eyes closed, head held up, and made a point of showing off these noodle legs they had constructed by skipping every other three steps.

They were doing the Pink Panther shuffle.

They walk out of my line of sight and I run over to have a word with them, but by then they disappeared.  I look around and all I see is more and more pink.  From behind me, I hear a mix of snickering slash wheezing.  Like you ever hear of this cartoon dog named Muttley?  They were laughing like him.  And of course, I turn around, and the only thing I see is more pink!

------------

I knew that my roommate could be ornery at times, like that time I tried to get an idea of their daily routine by setting up a webcam, but this...

I mean, where did she even get the paint?  (Upon reading back here, I realized I referred to them as a ‘she’ even though I’m not sure if they are a ‘she’ or not.  Yeah, I can edit it to a more neutral pronoun, but something tells me I ought to point this out instead of editing it, for some reason.)

I was half tempted to get back at them by painting the walls back to their original color (they do sell paint by the gallon where I work, and I get the employee discount), but realized they’d just paint(?) the walls pink again.  Like I’d turn around after thinking I finished only to find the work I did completely undone.  I could just picture my roommate doing that and finding it hysterical.

Anyway, tacky as the pink walls were, I didn’t get too angry about them.  For starters, my lease agreement said that I couldn’t paint the walls without landlord approval.  But my lease agreement also acknowledges that my apartment may be haunted.  If the landlord ever brought it up, I’d just tell them the “ghost” did it.  Second, these pranks my roommate was pulling were kind of amusing and didn’t really bother me that much.  (I mean sure, I wanted my rock collection back but I doubted my roommate would have thrown them away.  They know how much they mean to me.)

The one thing I was putting my foot down on was that I wasn’t going to ask my roommate what was wrong.  I got the hint, sure, but I wanted them to know that if something is bothering them, they need to, y’know, actually say something instead of leaving spooky pink clues.  They were being a butt, and my hope was that when they saw how much the pink wasn’t bothering me, then they’d finally open up.  This went on for about a week with me going about my daily routine only to be surprised by the occasional pink interruption.

Like on Wednesday, I go to the fridge to get something to drink, and all I find in there is Pink Lemonade.  It actually wasn’t that bad, but I have no idea how my roommate actually got it given that they never leave the apartment.  Thursday, I get a notification saying a package arrived, and find my roommate used my debit card to order the entire Pink Panther cartoon series on DVD.  And earlier on Tuesday, I got a call from my landlord asking if I knew why someone had called in an order, in their name, to have Owens Corning insulation installed.  In case you weren’t aware, that’s the pink insulation who has “you can guess who” as their mascot.

------------

So, Friday rolls around, and by now, the entire apartment is pink.  Like EVERYTHING.  The furniture, the electronics, the toilet, the sink, the appliances, the TV, and everything in between has been made pink somehow.  I’m not sure who out there still makes pink toilet paper, but apparently my roommate has either some special powers I don’t know about yet, or they got connections.

At this point, since my roommate had yet to approach me about “The Pink-ening”, I began playing the reverse-psychology card.  I came home and got to making dinner.  While some of this was a bit more expensive than what I usually spend on food, I figured it was worth it if it meant getting my roommate to talk to me.  My menu included delicious smoked pink salmon, some crab linguine with a nice amount of pink to it for a side dish, and some mashed red potatoes that turn out nice and pink if you got the right recipe.  To wash it down, I picked up a glass of pink lemonade from the fridge, and in the freezer, some strawberry sorbet.

I get down to eating at my pink table, with a pink wooden chair, pink napkins, pink silverware, pink glass of pink lemonade.  It took a little more effort to put this together, but I made an exaggerated point of showing off how good this pink meal was and how much I was just enjoying all this pink.

About halfway into my meal, I get a feeling that someone’s standing behind me.  It’s hard to put into words how you know someone’s there especially since my roommate doesn’t really eat or breath.  It’s like the hairs on the back of your neck become sensitive like cat whiskers and can just... feel that someone’s there.  Usually sends a chill down my spine when that happens, but this time, I was ready and waiting for it.

“Care to join me for dinner?” I say without turning around.  If I had, they probably would have vanished on me again like they had been doing all week.

“Looks... good...” they say in their ever so familiar by now raspy voice.

“Got something you want to talk about?” I ask between bites.  There’s a brief pause as my roommate thinks to themselves.

“...yes,” they finally answer.

“Okay.  Pull up a chair!  It’s been a while since we just, y’know, talked and stuff,” which was true.  

The instant I said that, I realized that even before the “week of pink” began, we hadn’t spent a whole lot of time together outside of our usual TV time.  I had long since figured out that my roommate wanted me to watch Pink Panther with them, but I just thought they wanted to show it to me to show off how (subjectively) good the cartoon was.  Only then did it hit me that they wanted me to watch it with them because they wanted to watch it together with me.  It was like they were hoping for some roommate bonding time or something like that.

Now, it wasn’t like we weren’t talking to each other before this.  I greeted them whenever I saw them, and let them know whenever I came home or was leaving. but we hadn’t actually talked, like... “talk-talk” in a few weeks.  Instead, the conversations over the last few weeks were like the kind of conversations a person would have with their pet cat or pet dog.  Like you’d talk to them, but not really expect an answer from them.

I had been treating her like a pet more than a person.  (Did it again!  I’m thinking I’ll ask them later what kind of pronouns they’d like me to use, or if they’ve even given any thought towards gender or anything).

My guess is that my roommate picked up on this themselves, and just like a disobedient pet who is bored, lonely, or other, they made a mess of the place.  Maybe they were thinking that if I was going to treat them like a pet, they would act like one too?

Of course, I didn’t mean to treat them like that.  I don’t think anyone really does mean it when they do.  It just kind of happens without thinking about it.  The whole reason I’m writing this down here in you, diary, is so that I can make a mental note slash reminder to be careful of doing that kind of thing.  It’s especially important to remember when interacting with other people, like my co-workers or the store customers.  (Unlike my roommate, they can’t get on my case by making my entire apartment pink.)

------------

Now where was I?  Oh yeah, our talk.  I think I remember the most important bits of it.  It went something like:

“So, whaddya wanna talk about?” I ask between bites of food.

“Pink...” they say to me.  I wait a moment, expecting them to say “panther” after that, but it when it doesn’t arrive, I step in.

“Yeah!  Pretty amazing what you did with the place!  I didn’t know things could even get this pink!” which was one-hundred percent true.

“...Thank...you...” they say with a smile.  I can tell that was not the answer they were expecting as I could have swore they turned and blushed.  Although I couldn’t tell because of how pink everything else was.

“Although,” I add, “I don’t think the landlord is going to like the apartment being this pink.  If it stays like this, they might kick me out.  And we wouldn’t want that, right?”

Now my roommate, the apparition, actually looks shocked for a moment.  The thought hadn’t entered their head, and for a moment, they looked a little scared.  “N-n-n-no...” they stuttered.

“Well, I’m sure together, we can get this place back to the way it was before the next time they have an apartment inspection.  Whenever that is,” I reassure them.

“Yeah...” my roommate nods.

“Say I got some time off this upcoming weekend.  Want to watch some Pink Panther with me?”  (Oh my God, you should have seen the smile on my roommate’s face when I asked this.)  “I see I have the DVD collection now, apparently,” I say with a wink, “and we can even watch the movies together too.”

“...movies?” they ask.

“Yeah, the Pink Panther was a movie first before it became a cartoon.  It was a live-action movie, but... well some of it’s like a cartoon here and there.  Lots of slapstick comedy that I think you might like.”  They were practically beaming and agreed immediately.  

After Friday’s dinner, we watched some of the cartoons (which are actually pretty funny) and for the upcoming weekend, we’re doing a Pink Panther movie marathon with cartoons mixed in to spice it up.  I also found out that my roommate doesn’t just watch the cartoons, but actually knows a thing or two about them.  Like how Friz Freleng, one of the directors and creative minds behind the original Looney Tunes cartoons, was involved in the Pink Panther’s creation along with a new studio after he left Warner Brothers.  I don’t know how my roommate came to know so much, but it’s pretty cool.

Anyway, I got me some sweet, pink treats to snack on during the movie marathon.  The apartment is still pink as can be, but my roommate said they’ll take care of it once the marathon’s over.  Exactly HOW they plan to take care of it, I have no idea.  Oh well.  No use pinking too hard about it.

(HA!)

#my roommate is an apparition #Tulpa #fanfiction #reddpenn #Pink Panther

[catwithangerissues]

Okay so for your weekly prompt, Fukunaga and I/Me/Myself by Will Wood please! Thank you! :))

I/Me/Myself by Will Wood - Fukunaga Shōhei

✨Hey! Before anyone says it, I’m fully aware that this song is about gender identity! But, I couldn’t do it justice to use it quite that way here, so I instead used the upbeat tune to make a cute ending :) Please give the song a listen, cause holy shit he’s one of my favorite artists now✨

“I’ve been feeling lightheaded since I lost enough weight to fit back in my skin

Flower petals and feathers tether me to the ground (pound for pound)

Take my tea with formaldehyde for my feminine side since the day that I died

While I whittle my bones until I’m brittle, am I pretty now?

For some reason I find myself lost in what you think of me

And too confused to choose who I should be

And now you’ve got me thinking”

“You’ve got to tell them at some point bro!” Yamamoto had been going on and on for what felt like hours, telling Fukunaga about how he needed to finally confess to you, but it always ended up the same way.

The black haired boy was too scared to tell you how he felt, for fear that you didn’t feel the same way. He was pretty insecure about himself, he thought you could do so much better than him and that there was no chance you’d ever feel the same as he did.

He had been quietly talking to the other second years about his problem, he thought that Tora would be helpful because he’d push him out of his comfort zone in the way he needed, and he thought Kenma would be the voice of reason in comparison to the teams ace.

What he didn’t expect, but probably should’ve, was for Tora and Kenma’s inevitable fighting and commotion to draw the attention of two of the third years, minus Kai who had been talking to Lev at the time.

“Come on, Kenma! You know just a-“

“Oi, what’s this about?!” The libero and resident mom of the team was becoming noticeably annoyed with all the noise.

“Fukunaga won’t confess to y/n because he’s scared they don’t feel the same way!” Tora shouted while trying to pry Kenma off of his torso, only for Kuroo to separate the two.

Fukunaga looked down at the floor, and a layer of silence dawned on the entire gym. His pale face flushed, and he began fiddling with his hands out of embarrassment and nervousness.

You see, basically everyone knew of your little crush on Sho, except for him. The entire team had been trying for months to get him to ask you out already, because they had long since come to the conclusion that you were too much of a scaredy cat to make the first move yourself.

“I- I just find it hard to believe that they w-would ever feel the same way..” Fukunaga timidly explained.

“Are you kidding!? Y/n has been going on about you for months dude! Just do it already!” The mohawked ace was quickly silenced by a loud back of the neck smack from the captain. “If you keep telling like that, they’ll hear you.”

After a quick exchange of discipline to the yelling boy, Yaku had made his way over to Fukunaga to comfort him, fearing he’d explode or melt from embarrassment at any second, now that the entire gymnasium had been made aware once again of his situation.

For the next several minutes, Sho had effectively poured his heart out to the much shorter upperclassman. He told him of his fear of you not feeling the same way, as well as informing him of all his insecurities both physical and otherwise. But it’s what slipped out of his own mouth during his rant of confessions that really stuck with Fukunaga.

“I think I’m in love with y/n and I’m terrified.”

“I wish I could be a girl, and that way you’d wish I could be your girlfriend, boyfriend

Am I pretty enough to lie to?

I wish I could be a girl, and that way you’d wish I could be your girlfriend, boyfriend

Just little old me in a big, big world

Little old me in a big world

I wish I were a girl”

Later that night, he laid in bed, hands behind his head and one leg over the other, staring at the ceiling, thinking of the words that slipped from his lips earlier that day. He didn’t know if he really knew what love was, let alone if he even felt it for anyone but his family.

But the words changed something in his brain, like a switch had gone off, and he couldn’t help but feel as though he was running out of time to tell you how he felt.

You both still had another year before graduation, so it couldn’t be that, at least he thought so. Maybe it was that you were the most gorgeous and kind human he’d ever met and he feared someone snatching his best friend away from him. Or maybe it was the ever present fear of one of his team mates, most likely the tall Russian puppy dog or the shark toothed ace, would slip up and tell you how he felt without him knowing.

He spent the rest of that night talking himself up to telling you, how he’d been head over heels for you for what felt like forever, tomorrow. He had to, he couldn’t let the love of his life slip through his fingers. “Wait, did I just think that?!”

“I’ve been feeling lighthearted since I gained enough weight back to cover my bones

I get dressed up in shadows one leg at a time – we’re so alike

But if the shoe fits, then I won’t try it on

You’ll be walking out early, but the show must go on

No, I know that I’m wrong

But I love how you’re on my side when I cross that line

It’s been a point of contention between myself and this body that they stuck me in

The privilege of being born to be a man

And now you got me thinking”

He met you in the usual spot. Your bright smile at his presence instantly making his cheeks heat up. You two had small talk for a few minutes, it eased his nerves slightly, but the voice in his head was screaming for him to just rip off the bandaid. If you were going to reject him he may as well get it over with, he thought.

“I told them I couldn’t beca-“

“Y/n.” The black haired boy interrupted you. Turning your head to meet his gaze, he looked tense and deep on thought, but at the same time more focused than you’d ever seen him before.

“Yes, Sho?” Your curiosity got the better of you, long forgetting the story you were previously telling the boy.

He was noticeably nervous, hands shaking and you could tell he was straining to keep eye contact with you. You felt concern wash through your entire body at the sight, fearing he may be ill or something worse.

“I- I need to tell you something, t-that’s been on my mind for a while.” His voice trailed quieter towards the end of his sentence, his voice slightly wobbly. Your hands came up to his cheeks, effectively forcing him to look you in the eye, and yes, he blushed profusely at the closeness.

“I wish I could be a girl, and that way you’d wish I could be your girlfriend, boyfriend

Am I pretty enough to lie to?

I wish I could be a girl, and that way you’d wish I could be your girlfriend, boyfriend

Just little old me in a big, big world

Little old me in a big world

I wish”

His confession had been a surprise to you, but you were overjoyed at the newfound information that the shy quiet boy had actually felt the same as you all along.

You couldn’t stop smiling for hours after it happened, and from the looks of it, neither could Fukunaga. He held your hand firmly but carefully in his as the two of you walked to the gym, routinely getting ready for you to drop him off for practice. Planting a small kiss on his cheek and exchanging your goodbyes, he turned to walk into the large familiar building.

He was greeted by the loud congratulations and praise of his teammates, noticing they’d been watching through the windows of the building, he couldn’t help but chuckle. He spent the next few minutes answering endless questions, and even if he was normally used to the provocative jokes that his teammates made, he couldn’t help but turn bright red when he heard, “remember to use protection” followed by laughter, as they dispersed to being warming up for practice.

“Eating your prosthetic meat/meet your anesthetic criteria, pathetic seeing you become acetic

Say my name like a slur, but I’ve been called worse

I’ve heard it all before, no this isn’t a first

Let me be the void you fill with taxidermy fingerprints, taxonomize our differences

I am quantum physics, my witness brings me into existence”

-Flash forward a few years into the future-

The loud, upbeat music played throughout the small space the two of you shared, it seemed as though the notes resonated off of the floor under your feet as you listened. With his right hand on your waist and his left hand clasping your right, the two of you spun around enthusiastically to the music. The tile floors of your shared apartment kitchen were as smooth as a dance floor for the two of you. With loud laughter, poor dueting, and pounding heart rates, you couldn’t find it in you- no matter how deep you thought- to feel anything but love at this moment.

With your partner of a few years now, stable jobs and schooling going well, in your first apartment together, dancing in the empty space- as you hadn’t bought any furniture yet. As the late afternoon, orange sun rays bled through the small kitchen window and onto the tiles, you two twirled and dipped to the beat, feet moving without thinking. You saw his bright smile as you spun, his arms catching you with ease. You wanted to burn this memory into your brain forever and never forget it. If you weren’t already certain of your love for the black haired boy, you definitely were now.

“I wish I could be a girl, and that way you’d wish I could be your girlfriend, boyfriend

Am I pretty enough to love back?

No, not yet

I wish I could be a girl, and really I’d prefer it if you would use I/Me/Myself

Am I pretty enough?

Am I pretty enough to fucking die?

Little old me in a big world

Well I would give you my whole world

Little old me in a big world

I wish”

-Flash forward again-

You were brought from your thoughts by the noises of your partner getting ready for the day. The two of you had woken up well over an hour ago, but neither of you wanted to leave the others warm embrace.

You laid in bed, watching as your partner got ready. It wasn’t that watching your now fiancé getting ready for the day was very exciting, he liked to keep his routine simple. But as you watched the way he moved around quietly so as to not disturb you, as he gave a glance over to your tired form to check up on you every few minutes, only to smile when he caught you staring again. As he routinely kissed your forehead after gently lifting your hair out of the way with his thumb, and as he told you he loved you and he’d be home soon to treat you to dinner and a movie tonight in a whisper.

You could almost cry at the sense of relief, happiness, and thankfulness that washed over you. In this moment, you were more grateful than ever for his old high school team of energetic boys that talked him into asking you out all those years ago.

✨Tag list: @almalckd @toworuu ✨

🌱This was fucking cute don’t @ me. Thank you for requesting! I love this song 😭 not super happy with the way this was written but oh well :)

#weeklypromptevent #haikyu #haikyuu #haikyuu oneshot #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu!! #haikyuu fluff #haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu matchups #haikyuu matchup #haikyuu fukunaga #fukunaga shouhei #fukunaga shōhei #hq fukunaga #nekoma #haikyuu smut

[youwerenevermeanttofeelalone]

Hypnagogic | Luther Hargreeves

✦ pairing — Luther Hargreeves x Plus Size Reader

✦ word count — 2.1k

✦ soulmate AU

✦ summary — you always assumed you weren’t meant to have a soulmate.

✦ warnings — angst, mentions of alcohol, fluff

✦ a/n — I love Luther!!! I hope I did him justice.

❖︎・・・・・❖︎・・・・・❖︎・・・・・❖︎

Anybody at that bar could’ve been your soulmate and none of them at the same time.

You traced your forearm where a soulmate mark was supposed to be. The lack of mark had never intrigued you, but you often wondered what it would say if you had one.

Everyone was meant to find someone. That was how human beings were conditioned to live, that was how humans had lived since the beginning.

Soulmate marks were dreaded by some, and others saw them as the only thing helping them cling to life. You were torn.

You still remembered the day your mark was supposed to appear on your skin, the first thing your soulmate would say to you when you met them.

You had expected something sweet — in your defense, you were fifteen — but you found nothing more than a scorching sensation and a blank arm. Your mom cried a lot that day, looking for the mark all over your body.

You had been confused, scared. Were you meant to be alone for the rest of your life? How could someone you weren’t meant to be with ever look your way? Would you ever meet more people without marks?

You had tried to rehearse reactions to finding out you weren’t the only one without a mark, but soon you grew out of that habit. Everybody you had ever met had a mark.

You weren’t meant to find anyone. It was useless to cling to hope that anybody out there was in the same situation.

The red-haired woman in the corner didn’t look like someone who wouldn’t have a mark. None of her friends did either. They were having fun, though, laughing and drinking while she told them a story.

You knew the bartender wasn’t your soulmate because he invited you to her wedding with her soulmate. Neither was the man at the end of the bar — you had shared a couple of shots together a few times, he was nice and very respectful, his soulmate had died years ago and he would often talk about them.

Forgetting about it was the only thing you could do. But not with alcohol, that would be stupid. And it wouldn’t work.

You paid your tab and wished the bartender a good night, zippering up your jacket.

Your apartment wasn’t far away. That was the main reason why you frequented that place. You felt safe around those three blocks.

Crossing the street, you could hear the lady down the street yelling for her kids to get in already. She always did that, and they never listened — you liked that she never seemed to mind, it was as though she enjoyed it.

She probably did. People were supposed to enjoy seeing their children happy after all.

Reaching your building, you bumped into a scarily tall and muscular man. Lowly apologizing, you walked past him and continued your path toward the stairs.

“Excuse me, ma’am...” he trailed off, walking behind you.

You found yourself glued to your spot the moment he spoke. You craned your neck to look at him, making sure he was talking to you.

“May I help you?”

The words sounded familiar to him. It felt like he could taste them, they sounded sweet, caring, with a hint of fear.

Although taken aback by your tone, he nodded frantically. “Do you know where I could find someone able to wrap a gift?”

Turning around, you stared up at him. He looked familiar, you felt as though you had known him your entire life. “In the middle of the night?”

“My niece’s birthday is tomorrow, technically today, and I wanted to surprise her in the morning.” Explaining himself further on, he fiddled with his hands, “I would do it myself, but...”

You shook your head. It was a really sweet gesture, but he should’ve thought about that way earlier. He looked like a lost puppy, staring down at his hands.

“I’m (Full Name).” You offered your hand.

He shook it delicately, giving you goosebumps. He enjoyed the difference in size, how warm your palm was, the fact that you hadn’t complained because his weren’t soft like yours. “Luther Hargreeves.”

You gaped. You used to have the biggest crush on him back when you were obsessed with the fact that superheroes were real.

“Well, Luther,” you tested his name on your tongue. “I believe I could help you as long as you bring the wrapping paper.”

He stood there for a moment, only staring at you, relishing on the way you had said his name. No one, not even Grace, had ever uttered his name with so much emotion.

Convinced that it was his loneliness getting the best of him, he made a gesture with his hand for you to wait for him.

You did so, trusting him. If you were to be killed that night, which you doubted because superheroes didn’t tend to be serial killers, at least it would’ve been by someone who used sweet excuses to prey on people.

God, you needed to learn how to trust people without putting yourself in danger.

He came back with a doll, balancing the toy on his open palm in his attempts to not crush it, and a roll of wrapping paper curled on his fingers. The doll was cute, you would have liked to receive it as a gift when you were a kid.

You motioned for him to follow you upstairs, rummaging through your purse in search of your keys.

Your apartment was cozy — warm, like he imagined home was supposed to make someone feel. He sat down on the couch at your cue, smiling to himself when a photo of you and your parents caught his eye.

You disappeared for a moment, not before offering him something to drink. He liked how nice you were.

Scissors and tape in hand, you came back. Placing them next to the doll on the center table, you sat down.

Unrolling the paper, using the tape dispatcher to hold it open, you observed he kept his coat on no matter what.

Yes, the city wasn’t warm at night, you understood that, but your apartment was not cold at all. You would’ve broken into a sweat already if you hadn’t shed your jacket.

“You live alone?” He asked, dragging his eyes away from the photos of your graduation to your face.

“Yeah. I used to live with a friend,“ you started saying as you measured the box before cutting the paper, “but they found their soulmate and moved out.”

“You haven’t met yours?”

You lifted the scissors, sighing. You weren’t looking forward to the pity in his reaction, but you told him anyway, “I don’t have one.”

“Everybody has one.”

“I know you’re trying to be nice,” you assured him, tugging on the tape to cut a piece, “but I don’t have a mark.”

“Oh.” His voice lowered. There wasn’t pity there, only sadness. “I don’t have one either.” Something inside him told him he could trust you, that you wouldn’t judge him or laugh. “I used to, but I had an accident once — my mission was to stop a biochemical threat.”

You gave him your full attention, holding the edge of the paper with a piece of tape so you could let go of it.

His voice got sadder, “It didn’t end pretty. Dad saved my life with a serum, but my body changed so much that the mark disappeared. Now I’m part ape.” He tilted his head to the side for emphasis. “Kind of.”

Luther often found himself staring at his forearm. He would never be able to read the words etched on his skin again. Every hope he once had of finding his soulmate, the person he was destined to love and protect forever, had died the day his life was saved.

He knew his place, understood he had responsibilities. He didn’t mind paying a high price for doing what was right. It simply stung.

He should’ve written down the words his soulmate would tell him. But what for? How could he have known he would never be able to look at his them ever again?

With his siblings gone and his hopes to one day build a proper family decimated, he had accepted the mission his father gave him with no complaints.

The moon sounded like a nice place, and he would be able to indirectly protect his soulmate from there.

It had been enough for years. He found comfort in the fact that he was doing an amazing job, following orders, sending reports frequently.

That comfort was crushed when he found out his reports had never been read. His siblings pitied him, he could tell — or maybe he hoped they would.

What was his soulmate doing? Were they having a better life than he was? Had they temporarily found someone?

He longed to find them. There had to be a way. But who could he ask? Pogo didn’t know about those things, and mom... mom was malfunctioning.

Was he meant to lose everyone he loved and everyone that could ever love him back?

“I remember,” he said, extending his arm, “that it was right here.” He pointed at his forearm, making an up and down motion. “But I can’t remember the words. I just know they were nice.”

“You’ll find them one day,” you told him, incapable of hiding how sad your voice had turned. “Soulmates are meant to be, and you know yours exists.”

You finished wrapping the doll in silence, wishing you hadn’t offered to help him. You were entertaining the most absurd things now, things that only a child would find feasible.

He didn’t mention anything about jumping to the same conclusions. It had sounded like he cared, but perhaps he cared so much that he expected something else. You were scared to ask.

You didn’t want him to leave, his company was soothing even through the silence.

Why was it that when you had decided to stop caring you were stuck in such a situation?

Surely you were getting ahead of yourself because there were too many coincidences. Nothing else, nothing more.

Standing up, you showed him the final product. His smile didn’t reach his eyes, but he tried, extending his hand so you would place the gift on his palm.

“I think it’s admirable, by the way,” you told him honestly, placing your hand on his forearm, “that you still—“

His eyes widened, searching for yours. Confused, you felt him press his free hand on your forearm.

A gasp slid past your lips.

You had heard multiple stories about how it felt to meet a soulmate for the first time, and you had always assumed you would never experience anything like that.

Yet there you were, whole body tingling as you felt that familiar scorching sensation that doomed you when your mark was supposed to appear.

“D–did you feel that?”

Luther rasped, “I felt something right where your hand is.” Clearing his throat, he continued explaining, “I don’t feel most things so it’s a big deal.”

Of course it was. You looked down at your forearm, where his hand still rested. It didn’t feel uncomfortable, the scorching had simmered down to mere tickles.

“Does this mean we...?” he trailed off, unsure as though how to approach the subject.

You nodded, unable to hide your smile. He looked so handsome, lively blue eyes slightly damp as a smile of his own broke through the now long gone frown.

Luther put the wrapped gift down in order to crush you into a hug. Hugging back, as tightly as you could, you prayed even though you hadn’t done it for years that this wasn’t a dream.

So many years you had thought you were meant to be lonely, believed to be an anomaly. Being in the arms of your potential soulmate was hypnagogic. It felt too real to be a dream, and too good to be true at once.

“I thought I would never find you,” he confessed, resting his chin on top of your head. “I’m sorry I took so long.”

Shifting so your cheek would rest on his chest, you told him, “It’s not your fault. I’m sorry I didn’t look for you more adamantly.”

“We’re here now. We’ll make up for the lost time.”

The relief in his voice was everything you needed to dissipate every ounce of doubt you had left. You felt at peace upon hearing the changes in his tone, feeling his hard body slumping as he got comfortable.

Luther confirmed what he had only imagined earlier. This was what home was supposed to feel like.

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[ecoamerica]

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The recording is now available on ecoAmerica's YouTube channel for viewers to be inspired by student climate leaders! Join Aishah-Nyeta Brown & Jerome Foster II and be inspired by student climate leaders as we recognize the High School Student finalists. Watch now to find out which student received the $25,000 grand prize and top recognition!

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[mikauzoran]

Lukadrien: Your Hands Hold Home: Chapter Eighteen

@lukadrien-june

Read it on AO3: Your Hands Hold Home: Chapter Eighteen: Pastries

“What if she hates me now?” Adrien fretted, pacing the main cabin of the Liberty as he fiddled with the good luck charm Marinette had given him years ago at the start of their friendship.

Luka sighed, looking up from the glass armonica he’d been fooling around with. “Adrien, why would Marinette hate you?”

“Because she’s been brainwashed by those monks she’s been studying with for the past month,” Adrien retorted in a manner that indicated that he thought his logic was entirely reasonable.

Seeing the doubt on Luka’s face, Adrien elaborated. “They hate me. They’re just like Maître Fu, only a hundred times worse. Maître Fu never talked to me about anything. He pretended I didn’t exist and kept me in the dark unless it was absolutely necessary to tell me something.”

Luka dried his hands off on his pant legs and came over to catch Adrien by the shoulders, stopping him in his tracks.

“I’m sorry the previous Guardian treated you like that,” Luka sympathized softly. “I’m sure that felt awful.”

Adrien nodded in affirmation, his gaze lowered. “It certainly didn’t do anything for my self-esteem, being treated like crap by yet another authority figure.”

“Yeah, I bet…. I don’t see what any of this has to do with Marinette hating you, though.” Luka gently pushed them back on topic.

“Because those monks she’s spent the past month with are even worse than Fu, and they’ve brainwashed her into thinking like them, so now she thinks I’m a useless failure who didn’t even notice that his own father was Papillon,” Adrien muttered.

“Adrien, no,” Luka insisted.

“Adrien, yes,” Adrien growled bitterly. “Plagg’s told me about them. They’re awful. They treat him like a monster and a screwup too. I’ll be lucky if Marinette even gives me my ring back now…. Plagg’s going to be stuck in that box forever.”

“Okay,” Luka sighed, seeing that some action was in order. “So, whenever you have a negative thought, what does Doctor Katsuragi encourage you to do?”

Adrien frowned, not seeing the connection between his therapy exercises and his inevitable permanent separation from Plagg and the catastrophic end of his friendship with Marinette.

“I don’t understand,” he confessed, looking to Luka for clarification.

Luka took Adrien’s cheeks in his hands and tipped up Adrien’s chin. “Whenever you have a negative thought, you’re supposed to challenge it, right? Reframe it?”

Adrien’s brows pinched even closer together. “These aren’t negative thoughts, Luka. These are just facts. They’ve turned her against me.”

“…Okay. Well, how about we do an experiment?” Luka suggested, remembering his own therapy sessions about fighting distorted thinking.

Adrien quirked an eyebrow. “Experiment?”

Luka nodded encouragingly. “You have your hypothesis: Marinette hates you and is going to exclude you from all things Miraculous going forward. Let’s go test that hypothesis and see what happens.”

The frown quickly returned to Adrien’s face. “What’s the point?”

“The point is, you could be wrong,” Luka informed.

Adrien rolled his eyes. “Or I could be right.”

“Or you could be right,” Luka agreed, “but at least we’ll know that you’re right. Then, afterwards, we can make decisions about what to do from there based on concrete facts instead of assumptions. How does that sound?”

Adrien stared, considering for a long stretch before he realized that Luka’s reasoning was sound.

“So…you’ll go with me?”

“If you want me there, I’m happy to go,” Luka assured.

Adrien bit his lip. “…Can we take the motorcycle?”

He could really use an excuse to plaster himself to Luka’s back.

“Absolutely,” Luka instantly agreed. “You ready?”

 Luka practically had to drag an antsy Adrien into the bakery.

Thankfully, business was slow, so there were no customers to witness the heroes’ reunion.

Marinette was standing at the register, her eyes buried in an old, dusty tome.

“Good afternoon,” she greeted automatically at the sound of the bell over the door. “Welcome to Tom and Sabine’s. Just let me know if you need help with anything.”

“We’re actually here for you, Chanson, not so much the pastries,” Luka chuckled.

Marinette’s head snapped up, and her eyes brightened like fireworks when she spotted them.

“Luka! Adrien!” she gasped, forgetting her book entirely as she sprinted across the room to catch them both in a crushing group hug. “It’s so good to see you! I’ve missed you so much.”

“R-Really?” Adrien choked on the overwhelming swirl of emotions welling up inside of him.

“Of course,” she scoffed, pulling back to get a good look at her boys. “I haven’t seen you in a month, and I’ve been worried about you constantly!”

Adrien blinked dumbly as his expectations were summarily overturned like so many wheelbarrows of cabbage. “Wait. Me?”

Marinette clicked her tongue. “Of course you. I barely got to talk to you after everything that happened. They practically dragged me off to Tibet immediately afterward, so…”

She studied his face intently, eyes darting from here to there, trying to absorb everything all at once. “…Are you okay?”

Adrien bit his lip and swallowed, preparing to tell the biggest lie of his life. “I’m f—”

His voice broke as tears started to bubble up through the cracks in his flimsy mask.

Marinette looked to Luka.

Luka rested a supportive hand on Adrien’s shoulder. “He’s doing all right. Some days are tough, but I’m really proud of him. He’s doing his best, and he’s doing a great job.”

Adrien shot Luka a look of gratitude.

A thin, faint smile of relief spread across Marinette’s lips. “Good. I’m really glad to hear that. It killed me not being able to be there for you. I mean, I’m your partner. I should have been there, but…”

She trailed off, looking to Luka with gratitude overflowing in her eyes. “…I’m really glad you were here.”

“Me too,” Luka agreed, squeezing Adrien’s shoulder. “I’m happy I could help—At least, I hope I’ve helped.”

Adrien gave a snort. “You know you’ve helped.”

Luka shrugged, smiling noncommittally.

“Oh!” Marinette gave a start, suddenly remembering. “Your ring! I need to give back—”

She pulled a small, octagonal box out of her purse and paused, a frown beginning to form over the bridge of her nose. “—but we probably shouldn’t do this in the middle of the shop.”

Luka and Adrien looked around, taking note of the panorama of windows.

“You could sneak around back for a few minutes,” Luka suggested.

Marinette looked like she was about to agree, but then she glanced back at the cash register with a pout. “But I need to watch the shop.”

“Allow me,” Luka offered.

“Oh, I couldn’t ask you to—” she started to protest.

“—I’m doing this for him,” Luka cut in with a wink.

Marinette blinked, and Adrien blushed, a sliver of a pleased grin peeking out of the corner of his mouth.

“It’s not like this is my first time working the counter,” Luka pointed out.

Marinette was quickly convinced. “Well, if you don’t mind. Thank you,” she responded, taking Adrien by the wrist and tugging him around back.

“Here you go.” She held out the Miraculous box, and he eagerly took it.

He couldn’t get the ring on fast enough, and when Plagg finally appeared, Adrien could no longer contain the tears.

He silently wept, pulling a purring Plagg into his chest and holding him close, determined never to willingly part with him ever again.

“I’m so sorry, Chaton,” Marinette whispered, the guilt that had been building over the last month finally coming to a head. “I never should have let them pressure me into bringing him with me. I’m his Guardian. I should have put my foot down and told them Plagg was where he belonged.”

“It’s okay, Buguinette,” Adrien tried to assure her, but she was having none of it.

“No. No, it isn’t, Adrien,” she insisted, disappointed in herself and angry at the monks who had treated her partner so poorly.

“I knew I was making a mistake the moment I took him from you,” she confessed penitently. “I can’t tell you how many times I almost used Kaalki to open a portal and bring him back, but…”

She grimaced, averting her gaze and shaking her head, determined to do better going forward.

“I’m so sorry, Adrien,” she repeated, forcing herself to meet his gaze to let him see how earnest she was. “They may not trust you or want you to be involved, but I do.”

He gaped at her, jaw descending several centimeters. “You…You do?”

She nodded, smiling tentatively as she hoped he’d forgive her. She desperately wanted the chance to fix things between them and start doing things right.

“Of course I do. You’re my partner, and I couldn’t ask for a better one. There’s no one on earth I trust more than you. I know things between us haven’t always been ideal, but…I want to do better…if you’ll let me?”

He nodded, swiping away tears. “I’d like that.”

Her smile grew in strength at his favorable response.

“Can we meet up for patrol tomorrow night, then?” she suggested, excited to get started repairing their partnership. “There’s so much I need to catch you up on.”

His ears perked up at that.

He’d always wanted to be included, kept in the loop.

“Tomorrow night sounds great,” he agreed. “Nine o’clock at the top of the Eiffel Tower?”

“Yes, please,” she replied eagerly. “And thank you for hearing me out and giving me a chance.”

He rolled his eyes disarmingly even as he wondered if she had been afraid of him hating her as well.

“My Lady…we’re okay,” he informed, gently pulling her into a hug. “We seriously need to talk, but…we’re okay.”

Silence fell between them as they clung to one another, trying to sort out all the feelings raging wildly inside of themselves.

Back in the bakery, Luka sighed, resting his chin in his hand.

He could guess what the silence meant. Either they were hugging or they were kissing. He conjectured that he’d hear if they were kissing, but hugging wasn’t that much more of a cheery prospect.

Luka knew he’d only been kidding himself when he’d daydreamed of Adrien and him ending up together, but…

It hurt to have his fantasies ripped to shreds right before his very eyes.

Likely, Adrien and Marinette would make up, make out, and forget all about Luka.

He took solace in the fact that Marinette sent them home with free pastries and the feeling of Adrien’s arms around him as they drove home on Luka’s motorcycle.

#Lukadrien #Miraculous Ladybug #Adrien Agreste #Luka Couffaine #Marinette Dupain-Cheng #Lukadrien June 2021 #MLB #Fluff #Slight Angst #Pining #Mutual Pining #Slow Burn #Friends to Lovers #Reconciliation #Friendship #Misunderstandings #Clearing Up Misunderstandings #Writing Prompts #Mikau's Writings #Your Hands Hold Home

[undercoverclover]

Land Or Sea

Part 1

Genre: A giant mix of angst, fluff and spice if you want to call it that?

Pairing: Lee x Ari

Warnings: Mentions of death... I think that's it?

Word Count: ≈6k total

-My twist on The Little Mermaid for the Tell A Fairytale event hosted by @acewriters 

“Ari! Wait for me! You know it’s harder for me to swim with my hurt fin!” I hear from behind me. Looking back I see the bright orange hair covering my friends eyes. Brushing it aside, he huffs at me.

“Oh come on, River. Don’t be such a guppy!” I laugh. My younger friend, though he was almost a whole half a tail taller than me, had hurt his fin two weeks ago and though it had gotten a lot better, he was still slower than me.

“Oh hush you or I’m going to tell Mal that you’re going where you're not supposed to be.” I hear him snicker.

“Go right on ahead, then I’ll tell her that you were with me. Let’s see who’s in the dog house then.” I look behind me at his face. Noticing his lips in a tight line and his eyes glaring knives at me, I grin.

“That’s what I thought.” I snicker.

Mal is my best friend and the royal advisor to my father, Triton, the king of the sea. She is so much fun to be around, but let us get caught in a forbidden area and I’d never hear the end of it. River is her boyfriend, so it’d be double trouble for him… Especially with the hurt fin.

We push a little further, finally noticing the sunken ship we’d been looking for.

“There it is, River!” I smile, waving him forward to hurry.

"You know, if we get caught. Your father is going to throw us in the dungeon for a week." He smiles.

"That's why we can't get caught. Duh."

Swimming to the window, I peek inside. "AH!" jump back as an eel slides out. Grasping my chest, I hear River behind me laughing hysterically. Shooting him a look, I slip through the window. He stands guard as I search to see what I can find. Seeing something shine on the floor out of the corner of my eye, I look over to notice a ballerina figurine.

I pick it up, putting it in the bag on my back.

"Ari, come on. The waters are getting darker. We need to get back."

"Just 5 more minutes."

"Ari, now." He said, starting to get agitated.

"5 more minutes Ri!" I plead.

"Ariel! Let's go now!" He demanded.

"Fine!" I grumble, "I swear."

Heading back out of the window, I noticed it had gotten darker. It looked like there was a storm rolling in, but there were no signs of it when we came this way.

"Alright, we need to hurry back." I say, avoiding his 'I told you so' gaze.

Swimming as fast as he could, I tried to help him.

"Okay, this is my bad. We should have left earlier."

"I couldn't have left earlier. Now, let's get moving. Mal is going to have our tails for this."

Right, I’d had to wait on him because he’d wanted to spend time with Mal before she had to go to my father’s council meeting. Those things always lasted forever.

Finally reaching the city, we parted ways and I headed home. Swimming in the door, I notice Mal in the living room.

"We need to talk." She says.

We go up to my room and I place my bag on my desk.

"You missed the meeting today."

"What meeting? I never go- Oh snap! I completely forgot I was supposed to be there today. I'm sorry Mal!" I say, feeling horrid.

"Your father is furious. You may want to apologize to him, not me. I have a feeling someone else is going to be apologizing to me."

"I will… I'm going."

-------------------

Apologizing to my father had been a failure. I'd spent most of the evening trying to apologize. I'm grounded, even though I'm an adult. The joy of being a princess, you never fully escaped.

I'd made my way back to my room after that chaos and collapsed on my bed. Looking out of my window, I see something flickering at the top of the water.

It was distant but I got curious. Swimming closer, I notice it's flames! I swim up. There's pieces of wood and trinkets falling everywhere now, I have to dodge them.

I poke my head above the water and hear men screaming for someone from a lifeboat.

"Lee! Lee? Where are you?" They yell. They look around frantically, but never see me or the man. They head away. I'm assuming giving up hope.

I begin wandering around and looking, pushing pieces out of my way.

I happen to notice him stuck on a piece of wood drifting off in the opposite direction. He had been hit by something, knocking him out and had a cut on his head.

"Oh! Wait!" But they were already too far gone. I decide to take him myself. I grab the wood and push him in the direction of the beach a few miles away. It wasn't easy but I managed. He weighed more than he looked and I'm not huge myself, but I finally made it to shore. The sun was coming up now. The only thing I could do was drag him off the wood and onto what little sand I could get to.

He was beautiful. Brown hair that was fluffy after it had dried on the way here, sharp features and a small scar on his left side of his face.

He groaned.

Oh no… I start to head back to the water.

His eyes flutter open and look directly at me, his brown eyes shining in the morning sun, "You saved me."

"I did. If not you would have drowned. Now, I have to leave. I'm sorry."

"Wait!"

It was too late, I was already in the water and swimming home.

Wow. A human. A man. A gorgeous one at that…

I make my way into my bedroom window and get under my blankets, hoping nobody noticed I was missing.

"Where have you been?" I hear from the corner of my room. I jump and look over.

"River! You can't do that to someone!"

"Answer the question, Ari."

"I took a swim. Now I'm going back to sleep."

"Yeah okay. If you say so." He swims out of the window, agitated and I lay there daydreaming of the man I saved.

The next few days that passed, all I could see was his face. I want to see him again. I will. I'll go and see him tonight! I manage to keep my excitement down to a minimum, only River and Mal notice. Which is normal because I spend a lot of time with them.

I go to bed early, and sneak out. Swimming until I arrive at the beach where I'd left him. He was walking along it. His brown hair straight, in a white sweater and slacks. He was holding his shoes as he walked, feeling the sand on his feet. I wish I could do that.

He looks my way and I hide behind a rock.

"Hello? I saw you! Please don't be shy!"

"I'm sorry! I'm not supposed to be here! It's forbidden!" I yell to him from behind the rock.

"But you saved me."

"I did and I'd do it again."

"At least tell me your name."

"I'm sorry, I have to go."

"Please!"

I'd gone under before I could say more. I feel bad about leaving him standing there so I decide to go back there tonight to see if he was there. Lo’ and behold, he was. I decide to swim close enough so he could see me.

“What’s your name?” Lee asks, wide brown eyes looking in my direction, as if he’s not believing what he’s seeing.

“Why should I tell you? So you can tell all your friends of my existence and they can hunt me down?” I say.

“No! Of course not! I’m in awe… I want to thank the woman that saved my life, properly.” My mouth opens in shock as he continues, “I saw a glimpse of you last time, I just want to know your name to match your face. Which is much more beautiful up close, if I may say.”

“Ariel.”

“Ariel? Well, it’s so nice to meet you Ariel. Thank you for risking your life to save mine.” He smiles.

“Ari.” I say, smiling, “Call me Ari.”

I went back the next few nights, singing to signal him that I’d arrived, I waited for him to come out. He hears me and comes out, smiling, coming to sit on the rock at our meeting spot. We talk until he’s so tired he couldn’t keep his eyes open and I had to tell him I’d come back tomorrow because I need to get back before my father wakes. We continued this for a few weeks and I grew to love talking to him. He was funny and handsome and I became comfortable with him. He’s the first human to see me, the first human I felt a connection to.

I couldn’t hide my happiness any longer, I had to tell someone. I knock on Mal’s door, after returning from my visit with Lee, so it was around 6 a.m. River answers, with a strange look on his face.

“What are you doing here so early and why are you so smiley?” He asks.

“I need to talk to your girlfriend.”

“Alright, come in.” He says, moving aside so I can slip by, “she’s in the bedroom still.”

“Okay, thank you.”

Opening their bedroom door, I see Mal laying in bed, reading. She’s normally up and ready for work by now.

“Hey. You’re here early this morning.” She chuckles, closing her book.

“Yes, I am. I haven’t been to bed yet,” My smile fades, worrying about her. “Are you okay? Normally you are about to come to the palace. You’ve felt sick for a few weeks lately.”

“I’m fine, I just needed a day off. I was grateful your father approved,”

“Of course he would! You’re like a daughter to him, not just his advisor. He takes anything that you say seriously. So if you needed a day, he’d do it in a heartbeat.” I smile.

She smiles at me and pats my hand, “You guys and Riv are the only family I have, I’m happy with that. Now tell me, why did you come in here smiling to no end.

“It’s a slightly long story. Do you have time? And remember, this is best friend territory, okay? Completely sworn to secrecy, until death”

“I have all day. Well, as much as needed. I’d like to stay in this bed all day if possible.” She smiles and nods. I chuckle and dive into my story about everything, starting with the shipwreck.

Her face went from mortified that I was being so careless, to understanding. To say she was mad at first, was an understatement…

“Why would you do this, repeatedly, without telling anyone Ariel? Do you know how stupid that was? You could have been hurt!” She panics, causing River to come in and check on her.

“Please, Mal, calm down. Let me explain.” She calms down, but River doesn’t want to leave her side. Mal reassures him she’s fine now and leaves us to finish our talk. She breathes deep a few times and signals me to continue.

I explain what has been going on and the talks Lee and I have had. About how he is an only child, and his parents passed away when he was in school far away. How he’s managing the small kingdom he runs, on his own. I also explain that he’s seen me and that he is the type, like she, to hold that secret until death. She isn’t happy that I showed myself to a human, but she understands taking leaps of faith because Mal and River were never supposed to be together either. Seeing her understand what I’m dealing with and being there for me even though she’s not happy with the situation, I feel tears in my eyes. She’s genuinely happy for me. And her and River’s hopeful love story of forbidden love, leads me into my next dilemma.

I also tell her that I think I love him,,,

She smiles widely, “I always tell you not to do what I’ve done. Seems you one upped me, in that department anyway. You fell for a human, but I have my own secret to tell you.” I smile and laugh. Grabbing the pillow beside her and smacking her with it playfully.

“Someone has to make you look good. What is your secret? Tell me. Tell me.”

She leans forward and whispers in my ear. My eyes get wide and I’m so happy that I could scream. She shushes me and I hold in my excitement.

“Mhmm. Sure. So as your best friend, when are you going back to meet him?”

“Tonight. I really need to get home to sleep for a while.” I laugh looking at the time, 8:43 a.m.

“Yeah, you may want to, in case your dad looks for you this morning.” She laughs.

River knocks on the door and pokes his head in, “May I have my girlfriend back now?”

“Yes, you may. I was just about to leave.” I smile, getting up and giving her a hug, “Thank you for understanding.”

She nods, “Just remember to let me know some way that you’re going. I don’t care if you leave a pebble on my windowsill.”

I laugh but agree and head home, finding my bed and drifting off to sleep within minutes. I wake up to eat before slipping out for the night. I swing by Mal’s and place a pebble I’d painted a yellow smiley face with a blue heart, on her window; smiling I take off to meet Lee.

I began to sing when I went tonight, hoping he'd hear me and appear, yet he didn’t… I decide to wait for him. I'm beginning to worry after a few hours of him not showing...

"He's not here my dear." I hear behind me. Spinning around, I see the sea witch.

"Why? What's going on?"

"He's sick, my dear."

"Sick? Sick how!?"

"He fell ill yesterday morning."

"But that's impossible! I spoke to him just last night!"

"Well, he must have hidden it really well or really wanted to talk to you."

"Oh no. No! I have to get to him. I have to help him."

I need to find a way. I would.

“I'm sorry. I've got to go." I start to go around the witch to get home.

"I can help him."

"What do you mean you can help him?" I ask, cautiously.

"I can fix him for a price."

“What price?” I ask, more nervous this time.

“Give me your voice and I’ll fix him right now.” she demands.

“You could do that?”

“Yes, I could.”

“I- I don’t know if I could do that.”

“Well, if you decide to. Follow the current south from the castle. I assume you know how to get there though.”

I nod and take off home.

I swim as fast as I can and make it back before dawn. Instead of going home, I make a stop at Mal’s. I need to talk to her. Knocking on her door, I realize she may still be asleep, even though she gets up early, it’s still too early for her.

To my surprise, she answers the door…”Ari, what are you doing here? Is everything alright at the castle?” she asks, her eyes growing worrisome.

“At the castle, yes. But, I need your advice as my best friend and not the royal advisor.” I say.

She asks me to come in and I begin telling her everything. River is still asleep, so it’s like old times.

“So, you’re saying that you really love him? Even though you barely know him and may never know him in any other way and you want to help him?” She asks, “And yes, I know you feel like you know him through your talks.”

“Yes. And I know it sounds weird, but I have to.”

“Best friend’s advice only? Don’t go to the witch. She’s mean and cruel. Scope the beach out and make sure she’s not lying. Maybe your father would grant you time on land, if you told him it was to only make sure he was okay?” she suggests.

“Okay, I’ll talk to father when I get home. Thank you, Mal.”

“You’re welcome, Ari. And do me a favor, don’t take River out so far next time. His fin is doing better, but it’s been aching again for the past few days.” She smiles, coming to hug me and send me on my way.

“You got it. Thanks again.” I hug her back and head home.

Father was already awake and in the dining area. I decided to tell him the truth. Even if it meant getting punished.

“You did what?” He demands, getting angry.

“Father, please.” I plead, “I told you what I did and I’ve found out he’s sick. I need to see him and help.”

“You disobeyed me too many times, Ariel. Absolutely not! Why should I even remotely want to do this for you?”

“Because I love him! And I will do this one way or another Father, please. I’m asking for your help, not the help I’ve been offered already, but I will go to her if that’s the only option I have.”

“You think you love him. What other offer?” he says, angrily.

I stand tall, even though my insides are twisting from anxiety, “The sea witch.”

“Ariel, you will do no such thing! She’s a witch and an evil one at that!” He says, getting up from his seat.

“I will father. I may be a princess, but I am also an adult.”

“Ariel…” He says, hurt by my words.

I turn and walk out, hoping he’ll think about it and agree.

“Wait,” he says and I turn around, “I will help you, on one condition.”

“What? Anything, please.”

“I will grant you legs in order to go help him for 2 days and only two. But at the end of the second day, you will come back home. No questions or complaints. You will come back home and resume your duties as princess.”

“Deal.” I say, without hesitation.

With reluctance, even after I promise to come back, my father agrees to take me at the end of the night.

“Ariel, what are you planning on doing?” I hear as I come out of the dining area, where father had been eating breakfast. I look around and see River, arms crossed, looking at me.

“I’m doing what I have to do,” I reply.

“Mal told me. You don’t have to do this. You don’t know this man.”

“I do, River. I really do. Please don’t do this. Mal trusts me, that’s all I’m asking from you.” I say, sadly.

He shakes his head at me. “I hope so.”

He leaves and I get things ready and make some medicine for Lee, hoping it will work better than human medicine. I get completely ready and when I finish, I decide to nap.

“Ariel, wake up.” I hear and I shift in my bed.

“Ariel.” I hear again, opening my eyes slowly.

“What is it father?” I ask.

“Are you still wanting to go?” He asks. I jump up and grab my bag and the dress I was planning to wear.

“I’m ready.” I say, in a serious tone.

He smiles, “You really are willing to do this?

“It’s the easiest decision of my life, Father.” I smile at him.

“You really are your mother’s daughter. The most like her out of you and your sisters.”

I feel tears sting my eyes. My mother had fallen ill after she had me and passed. I never knew her like my 4 sisters did and always wondered. I hug my father tightly, happy to hear what he told me.

“Now, come Ariel, let’s get this done.”

I nod and we set out for the beach where I had met Lee on many nights and talked until early morning. We swim for a while, not bothered by the silence between us. Once we get there, I speak first, “This is it, What do I do now?” I ask, looking at my father.

“Go to him, do what you must and be back in two days' time. I will be waiting here at the same time as now.” He says and I smile and hug him tightly.

“Thank you. I love you.” I say, quietly.

I head close to shore to where I could touch sand and my father swirls his trident on top of the water. Feeling weird sensations in my fins, I look down, only to notice legs. Human legs… I smile, looking up at my father and wave my toes at him.

He laughs, tossing my bag at me. I grab the blue dress wrapped around my bag and slip it on, it’s wet, but it’ll dry soon enough.

“Be safe and strong, my darling Ariel. I will see you soon.” He says, smiling sadly and disappearing under the water to return to our home.

#a.c.e #acewriters #donghun #a.c.e donghun #tellafairytale

[soft-sunflower]

Flower of Evil Thoughts- Episode 13

I think for Episode 13's post, I'm not going recap the whole thing. I'm just going to talk about some keypoints throughout the episode that really stuck with me as these posts are taking up too much time to write and gather caps for. I hope you understand.

Alright, so... we are starting off Episode 13 showing us a bit of Heeseong's past. And it would seem that from the time he was a kid, he was a pretty mentally screwed up individual. Such as throwing bricks off the roof and killing a dog. And I don't buy for one moment, one MOMENT that he "can't remember" and that he's stressed over school and depressed. That's just an excuse. Like I said. He walks out of the counselor's room, smirks and brushes off his fake crocodile tears. He uses that to get people to feel pity for him.

And would you look at that. There's Hyunsoo and his creepy dad sitting there at the psychiatric center. Do Minseok calls Heeseong out there asking if he knows why he did that. "Yes. It was because of teenage depression caused by academic stress." LOL No it wasn't. That sounds like such a fake, rehearsed line to get people to feel sorry for you. Anybody who pays close enough attention to you, or is just like you *cough*DoMinseok*cough*

"You've never met someone like you. You don't know how to play. You must've been lonely while doing it."

Oh my GOD you creeptastic man! We don't mold and groom people to turn into serial killers and be buddied up while doing it, regardless of how *like you* this kid might be. Well, at least now we know how Heeseong became Do Minseok's accomplice and prodigy. Ughhh ewww... that whole scene actually gave me chills.

Okay, so back to where we left off last episode. You know, just Heeseong and his father casually dumping Soon Young's body into the trunk of their car and finding out Hyunsoo and is wife are there at the house. Hyunsoo and Jiwon have arrived at the place they weren't planning to arrive, surprise! Or is it... trash mom looks a little nervewracked over the fact that they're just randomly showing up there. She keeps peeking and checking corners to make sure Heeseong isn't within eyeshot. It's not like a murder was just committed in the middle of the hallway of her house after all. She tries to pull the "I'm feeling tired. I'd like for you to come back tomorrow."

Jiwon interrupts with "I know everything." Uh oh...

So they're in, they're sitting down. Trash mom is all agitated again.

"What do you know and how much do you know?" her fidgety ass gets on my nerves.

Without missing a beat, Jiwon looks her dead in the eye.

"What are you hiding and how much are you hiding?" Girl YASSSSS.

And then they start pulling the whole "you know who your husband really is, and so you'll just accept that?"

"First of all, I want you to know, that I'm on his side no matter what happens."

Damn right she is. That's her man. Whether his name is Do Hyunsoo or Baek Heeseong, that her is MAN and she's got his back. She loves him and she will support him, regardless of what happens because that's what a strong wife does.

So trash dad says there are many things the 4 of them could talk about it.

"There's not only four of us. There's one more person this house, right? Where is he?" LOL GIRRRRRRRLLLLL. I REALLY love her. My badass female lead. She's not wasting ANY time.  And they sure did not waste any time in showing Heeseong hooked up and supposedly in that coma. Claiming he could die at any moment. Oh, please. You can't keep this a secret forever.

"We revealed all the secrets we have." LMAO NO YOU HAVE NOT. LYING SACKS A SHIT.

The way Jiwon and Hyunsoo are looking at each other, they BOTH know something is up and that something is not right.

Ohhh, Hyunsoo, you're brave but playing a VERY dangerous game here. I had a feeling that SOMEHOW this trap he set to catch Yeom Sangchul was going to backfire. But Hyunsoo is right. The person who made a deal with Yeom Sangchul to kill him, the person who offered double the amount of money, the ONLY person who knew he'd struck a deal with Yeom Sangchul that night, who knew the exact amount of money he paid Yeom Sangchul was trash dad,  Baek Manwoo. He also wanted him to kill Park Kyung Choon and was going to pay him to leave quietly. All signs point to there's some seriously shady business going on with Baek Manwoo, and I think Jiwon knows this, no matter how much he and his wife try and play up the innocent act.

"I believe I underestimated you." Well, they definitely handled that well.

"Hyunsoo, it's not me." Thing is, trash dad isn't lying. He's not the accomplice for the murders, but he knows who is and him trying to fake both Hyunsoo and Jiwon out is very obvious. If only they knew that Heeseong is not in a coma.

Oh look, the lights just conveniently go out... and here's how we find out that Yeom Sangchul did not go to the summer house. Because Heeseong tells him not to. This guy is really really smart. He's so smart, he's cunning and having that kind of person for a serial killer is rather terrifying if you ask me.

"Something is off. Something doesn't feel right, but I can't figure out what that is."

Jiwon, you're so close... You KNOW something isn't right and I think Hyunsoo can feel it too.

Also, HYUNSOO DO NOT TOUCH ANYTHING IN THAT BASKET. DAMMIT. This is going to be how they frame him for the housemaid's murder. I just know it. He's literally handling everything in that basket and getting his fingerprints all over it. They plotted the whole thing with the lights going out, the candles, the mother dropping the basket of items with a tape roll in it.

They had to figure out how they were going to frame Hyunsoo, and this was too perfect. They are so ahead of the game that it's terrifying, and Heeseong is loving it because it really IS all just a game to him. He's a really scary and creepy character. His calculations are spot on with everything. I'm curious how this is going to turn out when Hyunsoo and Jiwon find out Heeseong is alive and out of his coma and he's the one doing this. I really can't get a read on Gong Mija... is she doing this because she fears for her life hence her almost seemingly reluctance? Or is she doing this because Heeseong's her son? I mean she tried to kill him twice now, so...

"Hyunsoo, I've always thought of you as family. That much I was sincere about."

Is she being serious right now? I mean here she is helping frame him for a murder he didn't commit, but is she also cooperating with Heeseong because she doesn't want her son to kill her on one of his crazy rampages? I think she's afraid of her son and fears for her life, but that she actually does care for Hyunsoo because she knows Hyunsoo is not a monster of a man that everyone has spent years making him out to be? I don't know. It's so strange... she's hard to get a read on.

"No matter what you thought of me, I have never wondered what you sincerely felt, not even once."

What does he mean by saying this? That he doesn't really care what she felt? That maybe he actually knows she's always cared for him? Or that maybe she's never given him a reason to wonder about what she sincerely felt in regards to him? The way she's watching him though as he places everything back into the basket she dropped, particularly when he grabs the roll of tape, is unsettling... I really don't get her. Why would she say that? Is she on his side and is just being used by her son and husband? Or is she on her family's side and enjoying plotting against Hyunsoo, tricking him and then framing him for murder? I can't figure her out yet... she's too back and forth and very inconsistent.

Wow... they're very thorough with framing Hyunsoo for this murder. To the point he's pulling hairs out and putting them in their car. More evidence for the police to find that Hyunsoo is the murderer. Heeseong is one formidable foe. He looks far too amused while sprinkling her hair everywhere. As they say in kdrama, AISH!!!

Alright, who's smoking cigarettes and watching Haesoo...? Is there someone else we don't know about?? Does she have a target on her back too? Can we think at all of who smokes in this drama? Has there been anything suggesting a character like that? Also, the person's handprint is on the window. I would think Haesoo would want to tell the cops this...?

You know, I'm with Jiwon on this. I really wish Hyunsoo would stop getting himself involved, but it's almost like he can't help himself. I mean I can't really blame him. Being pushed into almost committing murder (Park Kyung Choon), being told to leave quietly, having a hit put on his life, his wife finding out who he really is, almost having to leave his entire life and family behind and spending the rest of his life on the run? That's a lot for one man to deal with, but if he'd stop getting himself involved, maybe things wouldn't go so far south. Oh who am I kidding. This is kdrama.

And god love him, he's scared to the core for the safety of his family. The very idea that someone like that could exist in his life makes him sick, and the fact that they could reach Jiwon and Eunha terrifies him. This is definitely one of the WORST times he could've picked to discover he has emotions. I feel so sorry for him right now, because  he's doing what every loving father and husband would around the world. He's wanting to protect his family. And I love how Jiwon tells him that they're stronger than that serial killer. I love how they smile at each other, that seems to give him confidence. that she covers his trembling hand with hers to comfort him. Jiwon is so amazingly strong. I just love her. I can't stop loving this incredible character. I may even love her as equally as I love Hyunsoo.

JEONG MISOOK IS ALIVE AND I KNEW IT. I KNEW IT. I CALLED IT!!! I called it from the VERY START of them saying they never found her body and that she is still missing. Kdrama rules. If the body is missing, it likely means that person is alive somewhere. But still I KNEW she wasn't dead. It was a feeling I had since before Park Kyung Choon tried to kill Hyunsoo. It would seem she has no memory of anything. She didn't even know her own name, so it makes me wonder just what happened to this woman?? Hmmm... and how is Sangchul going to use her for insurance? Insurance of what? Is he going to go up against Heeseong now and use Jeong Misook being alive to his advantage? This is definitely interesting.

It's 2:31am and Hyunsoo is getting a call that's waking him. I think that's me every time someone wakes me up haha. That's a pretty late time in the night to be calling anyone though. Annnnd it's Heeseong. That much is obvious. He starts mentioning Jiwon and Eunha claiming he's a fan, but it's more than obvious by the total creep factor of his voice that he indirectly threatening Hyunsoo's family. And Hyunsoo knows this. He can feel it. And the anxiety and fear in him is high now. His family has a target on their backs.

What does he do? Search up the location of the phone number and leaves... oh NO. DO NOT leave the house!!! This is the perfect opportunity they have to continue to frame you for murder. They will use the "You left the house for awhile last night, so where were you?" Hyunsoo, I admire your fierce determination to protect your family and to continue to put together pieces of the puzzle, but this is REALLY REALLY bad... and OOHHHH there's a dash cam on someone's car!!! I mean I get that they're on vacation, but please tell me that dash cam might come into play??

Inside the payphone box written on the wall is

"Hide and seek. I can see you, but you cannot see me." And we know Heeseong wrote that specifically for Hyunsoo. He knew that Hyunsoo would come to that pay phone trying to find him. He's having far too much fun with this. It's nervewracking how calculating he is.

And naturally, people cleaning up the woods would find the body. Of course. Hyunsoo left the house, went to the pay phone and that body is likely buried very close to where he was at. And poor Hyunsoo. He's so stressed out and nervous about the indrectly threatening phone call he received, that while he's pouring breakfast smoothies he made for his family, he doesn't realize he's spilling it out all over the table. Instead, he keeps repeating the sound of the voice from last night's call and comparing it to the accomplice's voice in the threatening message he sent years ago. He knows they're the same.

Jiwon asks if her hubby is okay because he's thinking so hard about something he's spilling smoothie everywhere. Then sweet little Eunha comes running with a hairclip for her daddy to put in her hair for her. Makes me wonder how often he's went shopping with Eunha, picked out little hair clips and things for her as well as do her hair for her in the mornings before school? It's such a sweet thing between father and daughter. But ohhhh, Eunha. Why do kids have such big mouths? Lol He left early this morning and she saw? Ohhhh noooo... Busted. Jiwon knows you left. And saved by the bell. Or rather, the phone ringing. It's not like he can just start telling his family right there in front of the both of them that he received a passive aggressive call last night indirectly threatening their lives.

Eunha's little "Fighting, mom!" Was soooo cute as Jiwon rushes off to work.

I love how protective Hyunsoo is over his precious little girl.

"Eunha, look at daddy. Did you talk to a stranger recently?" "No." "You didn't think first." "Hmmm? No." "Never go anywhere with a stranger. What are the rules?" "I will not go anywhere with a stranger. An adult doesn't ask a kid for help. Mom, Dad or Grandma would never ask someone else to come pick up Eunha."

Look at their big smiles. I love how holds her face in his hands and tells her she did well.

Awww baby girl is hungry! How is she SO CUTE!?

"Dad! My stomach gurgled! Did you hear that?" And when he puts his ear up against Eunha's belly. Goodness my heart melted but then cracked at the same time. I'm so scared for this little family. I'm scared to death for Eunha... she's so precious and innocent. Heeseong worked for human traffickers that also kidnapped and sold off children. I'm so afraid for her. I'm so scared something is going to happen to her.

Alright, so the thumbnail is missing on Soon Young's body again. What is it about Heeseong's obsession with fingernails?? He collects the ones on the left hand from his victims while also biting off his own on his left hand. Is this just how he commemorates the killings of his victims? By collecting their nails? Ughhh GOD he is just so GROSS.

Noona is back at Hyunsoo's shop and confirms to Hyunsoo that the accomplice can't be Baek Manwoo because during the time that he was meeting up with them, someone was watching her. Hyunsoo tells Haesoo about the strange call he received in the middle of the night. Thank GOD she knows this!! This is actually really important, I feel. I'm almost hoping that Haesoo contacts Jiwon to tell her about this after everything goes down. I don't like that Hyunsoo is keeping this a secret from Jiwon. I get why, but I wish he'd tell her. I feel like this is really important. And now Moojin is telling them about the body being found and that it was missing a thumbnail, because neither had any clue about anyone being murdered.

The fact that they found her notebook and her notes inside shows the direct connection she had with the murderer. Jiwon looks unsettled as she's reading the notes and wondering who she'd be referring to when she says "If you do this again, I'll tell madam and Director Baek." And of COURSE the body would be found in Makmun-dong... the same location Hyunsoo was at last night when he was checking where the phone call he received had come from. UGH! The Baeks had this too well planned. How frustrating...

And now that they have identified the body, Sunbae is informing Jiwon that it's her in-law's housemaid. Jiwon thinks back to last night on their drive home when Hyunsoo states he needs to meet with the housemaid. She knows something isn't right and rushes out stating she has something to confirm urgently.

I'm really trying to understand Heeseong's obsession with Hyunsoo. Why is he so obsessed with him? Does it have to do with the fact he's Do Minseok's son? Is there something he has planned in regards to him?

Moojin says something here that I feel is really important.

"Serial killers can't contain their urge to kill. Perhaps it was because they were in a situation where they couldn't do anything for the last 18 years."

He's right. Heeseong was in a coma. That's why he couldn't do anything. That's why the serial killings stopped. I'm sure he worked behind the scenes for awhile with the human trafficking ring, but the night he hit Hyunsoo with the car and tried to bury him alive? That's when everything stopped. His family even went to so far as to lie and state he left the country and was studying abroad. I mean really now.

Awww, Hyunsoo doesn't want his sister being alone and very unsafe and exposed, so he tells her that she needs to stay with Moojin. I'm not really a fan of their pairing, but I do love the fact that Hyunsoo is entrusting her safety to someone. Honestly, I'd rather it be Moojin because there's nobody else out there he can ask or trust to care for her and keep her safe. He makes Moojin promise him that he won't leave Noona alone and that he'll keep her safe.

Hyunsoo, Yeom Sangchul is not someone you can use so easily to get close to the accomplice, especially now that Sangchul has his own ideas and isn't so willing to cooperate with Heeseong now.

I'm really wondering what plans Sangchul has for Jeong Misook. He's not sympathetic over her having it rough. He's gonna get paid? How? Obviously he knows that Baek Heeseong is the accomplice and a serial killer, but since he failed to kill Misook, what are his plans to use this to his advantage? I have to do more thinking on this. If you guys have any ideas of what you think he's going to do, please tell me so we can plot and speculate.

Okay, so Jiwon is fingerprinting her husband and comparing the fingerprints. I'm not so sure she willingly believes that her husband went out in the middle of the night and committed a murder on Soon Young. I think Jiwon knows something is definitely up, because she knows Hyunsoo wouldn't just suddenly at the drop of a hat decide to randomly commit a murder after everything they've been through and after revealing his whole life to her. He had plenty of opportunities where he could have committed murder, but the very idea of it sickens him. He expressed that much on their drive home from the Baek's.

Heeseong continues to disturb the hell out of me more and more. He might love and worship his mother, but I get the feeling that if she made one wrong move, he wouldn't hesitate to murder her ass too. And I think the mother is terrified of her son so she's trying to be careful not to make the wrong move. She doesn't want to set off her serial killer son after all. And just like I said, I KNEW they were going to use Hyunsoo picking up all those items, especially the roll of tape, to their advantage. I knew she was in on setting this trap for him. And she seems almost guilty that she did that, after remembering Hyunsoo gently pulling a string of fuzz out of her hair.

Hyunsoo is calling Yeom Sangchul from the burner phone... And who answers? Well SHIT now. Hyunsoo knows that Jeong Mi Sook is alive!!! And I also feel like this is VERY important and needs to be paid close attention to.

Jiwon enters the shop and starts questioning where Hyunsoo was at. Was it Makmun-dong? So Jiwon tells him who's body they found, and that she was in charge of taking care of a person who's in a coma and that she was the Baek's housemaid? She tells him the fingerprints on the tape turned out to be his, all the while shedding tears.

At first I thought, Jiwon are you kidding me? You're a DETECTIVE. You KNOW where the two of you were last night. You KNOW that your husband disappeared from your side very briefly to help "mother" gather up items she dropped everywhere. You KNOW what kind of man your husband is so WHY are you suspecting him of murder now!? This is NOT your style, this is VERY inconsistent of your character, as well as your claim of "no matter what happens, I'll stand beside him." Those were my first thoughts upon all of this when she tells him he's a murder suspect and she's arresting him without a warrant.

Also, I knew the mother would tell the police that she suspects Do Hyunsoo murdered the housemaid. This whole entire thing orchestrated between the 3 Baeks was too well thought out and too well done. Now the entire police force believes him to be a true murderer and that he's guilty. My stomach just twisted. Sunbae just told all of them that Hyunsoo is Jiwon's husband... oh god...

CAN PEOPLE FOR REAL STOP FRAMING HYUNSOO FOR LIKE FIVE FUCKING MINUTES!? OMG!!! It's unbelievingly frustrating!!!!

Anyway, I don't think Jiwon is suspecting her husband of murder. I think she starts to cry because she knows that he's being framed. She also knows that police are going to find out and will be showing up to arrest him as a murder suspect, so she wants to arrest him first. She even tells him that they will make sure he does not get punished for what he didn't do. Jiwon knows that her husband did not murder that woman and that he's been framed. Jiwon is doing this protect him. She's wanting to take him to the police station because honestly he would be safest there while giving his statement as well, but she is not telling her husband this, because she herself wants to get to the bottom of who's framing him once again. That's what I truly believe. Jiwon has her own agenda, and it makes it hard because she and Hyunsoo are not on the same page.

Hyunsoo seems legit heartbroken that his wife believes him to be a murder suspect. So much to the point that he sees the image of his father, has a flashback to his father telling him this.

"Love can be very cunning. It is very sly. It makes you think you can solve everything, but in the end, it betrays you. Hyunsoo, listen to me carefully. When you feel the urge to trust somebody one day, it means you're becoming weak."

Okay, yes, he is distraught by this. He's genuinely hurt because he thinks Jiwon doesn't believe him. That Jiwon doesn't trust him anymore, so much so that it crushes him and makes him see his father once more telling him this. Jiwon gives him that look because she remembers him "seeing" things before that wasn't there. The fact that his wife would believe for even a moment that  he could be capable of killing anyone has sent Hyunsoo's mental health on a bad decline once again, and I am so worried for him...

"Tell me something. Do you believe me?"

Jiwon can only say "What?" Because I don't think she realizes what's happening to her husband's mental stability right now thanks to her.

"Or deep down inside, do you believe that I really could have killed her?" He tearfully tells her "If you don't even believe me, then who else in the world would believe me?"

And now, here's where I believe Hyunsoo shuts of those emotions long enough to put his own agenda into play. He's not going to trust anyone anymore, because all it's been doing is getting him hurt, getting people out wanting to kill him, putting his family's lives in danger, and even making his wife not believe in him. Like hell he's going to that police station when the lives of his family are in danger and he knows it. I'm pretty sure I know what Hyunsoo is doing. For this moment, he's throwing away love.

It suggests as much from the preview for Ep 14, but it appears to me that he's setting his own trap.

For one, I will say, he's definitely heartbroken over the fact (at least through Hyunsoo's eyes) that his own wife seemingly does not believe nor trust that he did not kill Park Soon Young, so I can understand his hurt here. I think my heart ached for him too. However, I fully believe that the CCTV was a set up, as well as him "attacking" his wife and holding a blade to her throat. That was a set up too.I believe he was trying to show hostility toward his wife to better her chances and give the accomplice less of a reason to want to go after her. Also, back when he attacked Moojin, he had no CCTV set up in his shop at that point in time, because why would he? It's his OWN shop. There's literally zero reason to have a CCTV in there, especially when he never did before. His shop is right below his house. At least I don’t recall ever seeing one in there til this episode. All he did was lock the doors and close the blinds. There was no unplugging cameras at all.

He points Jiwon toward the monitor and he's turning this into a "hostage" situation because now he's been framed, yet again, for ANOTHER murder he didn't commit, and he knows that that accomplice knows about his family. He knows that the strange call he received at 2:31am was from the accomplice and that his family is ultimately in danger and being targeted. He's creating a hostage situation and is going to do his best to get Jiwon and Eunha somewhere safe. I fully and 100% believe this, because that's Hyunsoo's style and because of the preview for the episode. Like him telling his wife in a very gentle voice "We'll see each other again. Don't look at me like I'm going off to die. Wish me luck instead." Also, they're running off together hand in hand. Jiwon doesn't look like she fears for her life.

It would seem like cheap writing for her to just suddenly start randomly suspecting her husband of murder. It's not Jiwon't style and it's horribly inconsistent to her character up til now. I think both Hyunsoo and Jiwon have their own agendas because Hyunsoo kept the secret of the phone call from Jiwon, and Jiwon knows that someone is trying to have him killed, namely the Baeks. Hyunsoo is using the logical side of himself rather than reacting through the emotional side, because emotions CAN make you weak and now he needs to be as calculating in this game as Heeseong does. Now it's his turn to play Hide and Seek while finding out that Heeseong is the accomplice.

My heart is pumping now and I cannot WAIT til next week!!! It's going to be a very long, agonizing wait, these next 5 days.

#flower of evil #lee joon gi #moon chae won #do hyun soo #cha ji won #baek eun ha #baek hee seong #lee joongi #moon chaewon #do hyunsoo #cha jiwon #baek heeseong #baek hee sung #baek heesung #do hae soo #do haesoo #kim moo jin #kim moojin #flower of evil episode 13 thoughts #sorry for all the typos #i wrote this in a bit of a rush

[luci-in-trenchcoats]

Seeing Double (Part 2)

Summary: After the Winchesters show up at Jensen’s apartment, they discover getting the boys home may not be possible...

Part 1

Pairing: Alpha!Dean x Alpha!Jensen (platonic, brotherly relationship)

Word Count: 6,200ish

Warnings: language

________

“Ow,” said Dean, Danneel pulling back into a corner of the kitchen, hiding behind a cup of coffee and Jensen. “Why’d she pinch me?”

“I was really hoping I was going crazy,” she said, resting her head against Jensen’s back with a sigh. “Maybe there’s a gas leak…”

“They’re real,” said Jensen, running his hands over his face, shaking his head at Sam. “At least Sam’s babysitting the kids so we can sort this out.”

“Uh huh,” she said, setting her coffee down and going back to Dean, leaning into his face.

“Hey, you look like that dick angel that screwed us over. Sister Jo,” frowned Dean, squinting at her. 

“Excuse me?” she said with a scoff, Jensen grabbing her shoulders and pulling her back.

“She acts too. If you see somebody that looks like Ruby, don’t go stabbing her either,” said Jensen, sighing loudly. “You guys are great and everything but can you like...not be here?”

“Ah. So when you come to our universe you expect a little hospitality but when we get here-“

“Point made,” said Jensen, glancing around the apartment. “What do we do with them?”

“Well I’m supposed to fly home with the kids today,” said Danneel. “You have to be at work in like an hour.”

“Hey, Sammy and I are big boys. We don’t need a babysitter,” said Dean. 

“Oh, yes you do,” said Jensen, grabbing Dean’s jacket collar, getting a nasty glare in return. “You guys are...you’re different, remember?”

“Oh. You’re worried-“

“There is no ‘Dean’s whiny juice’ here,” said Jensen. “I know everything now so-“

“Could someone explain what you’re talking about?” asked Danneel.

“In a minute,” said Dean, shifting in his seat. “I gotta use your bathroom.”

“Down the hall,” said Jensen. Dean got up from his seat, Sam wandering over. “Thanks for taking the brunt of the three musketeers this morning.”

“They’re cute. I could kind of hear what you were talking about and I should tell you-“

“What happened?” said Dean, storming out of the bathroom. “What...I can’t...there’s not...I am an Alpha!”

“Different universe,” said Sam with a shrug. “I’m not happy either but I sort of like it.”

“Again, someone clue me in please.”

“Okay,” said Danneel, nodding her head after a moment. “Okay. I’m not okay but okay.” 

“Can they just hide in the apartment until we figure something out?” asked Jensen.

“Fine,” she said. “Don’t break anything and I swear if you two bring any freaky stuff in here-“

“Yes mam,” said Sam.

“If you two are gonna be here, at least help De out with packing up the kids for their flight,” said Jensen. “I’m gonna be late.”

“Going to work, actor boy?” teased Dean. “We’ll hold down the fort for you.”

“Just do what she tells you and you’ll be fine.”

“Rough morning?” said Jared, patting Jensen’s back in the lunch line. “You look like you’re having a day.”

“That’s a word for it,” grumbled Jensen, Jared chuckling. “What?”

“We should go out tonight for dinner. Neither one of us have early call times tomorrow,” said Jared.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” said Jensen.

“Fine. I’ll come over and we’ll order something,” said Jared.

“I’d rather...fuck. If De knows then Gen is gonna know soon and you might as well hear it from me,” said Jensen.

“Hear what?” asked Jared.

“Well…”

“No way,” said Jared, poking Sam in the chest that night.

“Why’s he poking me?” asked Sam, Jared doing it again.

“Because he’s excited. Jared,” said Jensen, Jared pulling his hand back. “I don’t know what to do with these guys.”

“Just let us head on over to the bunker, we do the spell and then we’re back where we belong,” said Dean.

“The bunker doesn’t exist, just like magic doesn’t exist,” said Jensen. Dean scoffed, waving him off. “Well you’re not an Alpha here so it’s not a far stretch to say magic doesn't either.”

“I am an Alpha, whether I got the equipment or not,” said Dean, glaring at Jensen.

“Well this is my house, Alpha,” said Jensen, Dean taking a big whiff of the air. “And?”

“You don’t smell like anything,” said Dean, putting his hand on his head as he walked away. “Sammy-”

“Hey, at least we won’t get ruts here,” said Sam.

“I want to go home,” said Dean, looking around. “Our home. You understand that, Jenny.”

“I’m gonna kick your ass you call me Jenny again, Deanie,” said Jensen with a smile. 

“Maybe we let them try to get back and do their spell. It doesn’t hurt to try,” said Jared. Jensen shrugged, Sam seeming to have an easier time with this than his brother. “Hey, uh, why don’t we order some pizzas and have some beers? Jens and I don’t have work until 11.”

“Whatever,” said Dean, slumping over to a corner of Jensen’s couch, Sam giving them both a smile and look that said he was sorry.

“Hey dude,” said Jensen after Jared had gone home and Sam was passed out in the guest room, snoring away. Dean hummed from the couch, mindlessly watching something on TV. “You doing okay?”

“No,” said Dean quietly. “You know how fucked up I am, Jensen. Like, possibly even better than Sam. The Alpha thing, I know it’s not a big deal or it shouldn’t be but it feels like I lost a part of me. At least as an Alpha, I had a pack and was pack leader to Sam and that meant something, you know? I was important to him.”

“You’re still important, Dean,” said Jensen, taking a seat nearby. “Your brother loves you. Trust me. Jared ain’t even related to me and he loves me. He’s my brother.”

“Yeah but you’re normal. You can make friends and have a wife and kids. If we’re stuck here, I’m sure Sammy will find a sweet girl and it’ll all be fine. I’m...I’m screwed up. I wouldn’t put that on anyone but at least with hunting, I was doing some good. Now I got nothing,” said Dean.

“You could get a job that helps people,” said Jensen, Dean rolling his eyes. “Dude, if you’re stuck, I got your back. The whole family does.”

“Okay, enough with the nice guy schtick, alright?” he said. 

“I had to go through crap and you guys took care of me. Now it’s my turn,” said Jensen. “And I am nice, asshole.”

“You are the weirdest friend I’ve ever had,” said Dean.

“I certainly hope so as your fucking twin from another universe I win the weirdest fucking friend award,” said Jensen. Dean chuckled, rubbing his hand against his head. “I thought I talked to you about this self-deprecating stuff back in your universe.”

“You did. I just don’t listen well,” said Dean with a shrug.

“You got that right. You ate my ice cream. I was looking forward to eating that like all freaking day,” said Jensen.

“Yeah but dude, it was triple fudge,” said Dean. “I couldn’t resist.”

“Well lucky for you, I got a secret stash in the-”

“Box of frozen veggies? Yeah, I use that trick on Sam at home. Sorry bud,” said Dean, Jensen staring at him slack jawed.

“I hate you and respect you at the same time,” said Jensen.

“Just being a good house guest,” said Dean with a smirk. “You probably need some shut eye, you look pretty wrecked.”

“Yeah, long day,” said Jensen, running his hands over his face. “Long few days. I need to head home this weekend, just relax.”

“Kansas?” asked Dean.

“Texas,” he said.

“Eh, good enough. At least you didn’t say LA,” said Dean. 

“Goodnight, asshole,” said Jensen, ruffling Dean’s head as he walked past.

“You too, Jensen.”

Friday Afternoon

Jensen only had a half day at work, standing in his apartment with his bag to fly home for the weekend around lunchtime. Jared got a flight out the night before and he and Sam had become best buds. Sam was easily adjusting to the situation far better than Dean. Sam didn’t seem to care so much about no longer being an Alpha and had already taken to cleaning Jensen’s apartment more than once, cooking dinner for him when he got home, trying to be helpful like Jensen had when he was at their place.

Jensen could see Dean wasn’t doing well though, Sam exchanging glances with Jensen every so often, not quite sure what to do about it. All he did was sit in Jensen’s apartment, watch TV and drink Jensen’s alcohol. 

“Hey uh, guys?” said Jensen, both brothers spinning around on the couch. “I’m going to head out for the weekend. Call if you need anything, okay?”

“We’re not children, Jenny,” said Dean, spinning back around.

“I’m still older than you, Deanie,” said Jensen, lightly smacking Dean’s arm as he walked over. “You guys got any plans?”

“Besides the fact we’re trapped in this universe forever? No, no plans,” said Dean.

“Sam, you do that thing I asked you to do?” asked Jensen. Sam smiled and nodded. “Good. Get your asses up then. We’re going to Texas.”

“What?” said Dean.

“Jensen thought it’d be a good idea if I made up some fake ID’s for us, just in case. Shockingly easy to hack into systems in this universe,” said Sam.

“I don’t need to know that,” said Jensen as he shut his eyes, flashing them open. “Well, give Dean his new passport and license. I got extra plane tickets. Whatever you guys need, we’ll grab in Texas.”

“Here,” said Sam, fishing a new wallet and a little book out of his pocket, handing it to Dean.

“Dean Ackles. Seriously?” said Dean.

“I’m sorry. I have a potentially recognizable face, so does Jared. You guys have to be fake twins to us here,” said Jensen.

“Sammy and I can’t even be brothers?” said Dean, scrunching up his face. “What the fuck do you think you’re doing?”

“I think I’m getting you out of this apartment, back in a country you know, a part of the country you know,” said Dean. 

“Oh? And what do we say when you guys both suddenly have identical twins,” said Dean.

“That you’re very private people. Hey, I got other siblings, so does Jare. We keep stuff outside of wives and kids pretty tight vested. It’s easy enough to pull off,” said Jensen. “Once you get in the states...it’ll be good for you. I swear.”

“At least I don’t have to be Sam Padaleski,” mumbled Dean.

“Padalacki,” said Sam.

“Pada...whatever,” said Jensen, rolling his eyes. “Just keep your mouth shut through security and for the love of god, do not do anything that gets us in trouble. Only Jared and I know about this right now. I don’t need my parents finding out they had another ‘son’ from airport security.”

Jensen saw the guys relax a bit once they were in Texas. It was somewhat familiar, both of them amazed at where Jensen lived, Jensen gripping the steering wheel tight every time one made a comment about “rich” people. Jensen arguably owned enough flannel to be a Winchester himself.

“Hi daddy,” said JJ when Jensen got out of his truck, Jensen scooping her up in a hug.

“Hi honey,” he said, giving her a kiss on the cheek. “What are you doing outside all by yourself?”

“Mommy said I could,” said JJ, pointing through the window to the kitchen, Danneel giving Jensen a smile. “Hi Uncle Sam and Dean!”

“Hey, kiddo,” said Sam, JJ turning her attention to Dean.

“Hi, JJ,” said Dean softly.

“You guys gonna stay for dinner?” she asked.

“Yup. They’re going to stay with us for a while,” said Jensen, grabbing his bag from the trunk. “Come on boys. De’s friday night meals are always the best.”

“This is amazing,” said Dean, Danneel chuckling as he worked on his third plate of food, Jensen taking the opportunity to spend some playtime with the kids.

When he returned, the boys were washing up the dishes, Danneel sitting at the counter with a smile.

“I like them. I think we should keep them,” said Danneel teasingly.

“I think we have to,” mumbled Jensen, Danneel staring up at him. He sighed and hopped up on the counter, holding her hand as the guys finished loading up the dishwasher. “I think...I think it’s time we got realistic about the chances of you guys going back to your own universe.”

“I told you he just brought us down here to ditch us,” said Dean.

“I brought you down here so you don’t sit in that apartment all day. This is our home and it’s private. Go outside, take a swim, get your head on straight. You both have to accept that these are your lives now. It’s all our lives,” said Jensen.

“What do you mean?” said Sam, taking a seat at the other counter. 

“I mean if I was a normal guy, Jared was a normal guy, we could let you slip away just fine. Start over however you want. We don’t get that option. In public, you have to be an Ackles and you have to be a Padalecki. You have to be our brothers,” said Jensen.

“How the hell are we going to pull that off?” scoffed Dean.

“We’d have to get the family on board with it,” said Danneel. “Although your dad would probably be the only really hard sell if you think about it.”

“No! We’re not-”

“Dean,” said Jensen. “Listen. We-”

“Oh shit,” said Danneel when the garage door opened. “I forgot.”

“Forgot what?” said Jensen, wide eyed when he saw his dad round the corner and pause, blinking at the scene in front of him. “You forgot my dad was stopping over!”

“He was driving up from Houston after a small gig there earlier today. I told him he could crash here tonight, surprise you,” she said, running her hands over her face.

“Well. I am surprised,” said Jensen’s dad.

“Uh,” said Jensen, quickly hopping off the counter. “I uh…”

His father walked past him and stepped over to Dean, holding up a finger and poking Dean in the chest. He did the same to Sam, staring back at Dean. 

“You’re the Winchesters,” said Jensen’s dad.

“Exactly!” said Jensen, his dad holding up a hand.

“I ain’t convinced I haven’t gone insane so give me a second, kiddo,” he said. He tilted Dean’s chin up, Dean glancing at Danneel who just shrugged, Dean swallowing when Jensen’s father flicked him in the side of the head.

“Ow,” said Dean, rubbing his temple.

“Alright. I’m Alan,” he said to Sam and Dean, turning his attention to Jensen. “What is happening?”

“Honestly? It’s a long story,” he said.

“Well start talking before I call your mother to have us all committed.”

“Well…” said Dean, sharing the bottle of bourbon Jensen had gotten out long ago with him. “Your dad seems really nice.”

“Give me,” said Alan, stealing the bottle away and whacking both Dean and Jensen on the back of the head.

“Dad,” whined Jensen, pouting when his father scowled.

“This is weird enough and we don’t need you two drunk,” he said. “Now sit back down.”

“Forget what I said,” mumbled Dean.

“I heard that,” said Alan.

“Well I ain’t your kid,” said Dean.

“Do I need to have this conversation with you too?” said Alan, staring at Sam. He shook his head, Danneel quickly skirting out of there with Sam to go hide in the living room. “Listen up. My kid is the one helping you. He could leave you and your brother to figure out this world on your own but guess what? He’s not. He’s choosing the hard thing because it’s what’ll probably help you the most. But if you don’t want it, there’s the door.”

“Dad, there isn’t really an alternative,” said Jensen. “Not unless they live in a shack the rest of their lives.”

“Fine with me,” he said.

“Dad,” said Jensen.

“Why should we do all this, drag the whole family, drag Jared’s whole family, through a big lie for someone who’s going to be ungrateful about it?” he said.

“Because it’s Dean and he’s not exactly open about this stuff,” said Jensen. “I have been playing him on TV for years. I have a good idea of how his head works.”

“I ain’t convinced. Get out,” said Alan.

“Dean, stay,” said Jensen, lifting his chin. “This is my house.”

“I’m not going to lie about having another son if he doesn't want it,” he said.

“I was stuck there in their world, dad. Trapped. Sam and Dean helped me,” said Jensen. “And what the hell is this all of a sudden? We help people when we can, that’s how you raised us. We’re good people and you’re acting like a dick.”

“You want the whole family to lie? For him?” asked his dad.

“Yes,” said Jensen. “For both of them.”

“Why?” said Alan.

“Because no one ever did a thing for them. The show was real for them, their actual lives. They deserve another shot, a shot at normal where they don’t have to hide,” said Jensen. “Please.”

“Good boy,” he said softly. Jensen scrunched up his face, tilting his head and glancing at Dean. “Hey, I already knew I was going to do it. I wanted to know why you wanted to.”

“Dickhead,” mumbled Jensen, his dad ruffling his hair.

“Whine like that and I’ll let Dean be the older twin,” said Alan with a chuckle.

“No!” said Jensen. “I’m older!”

“Do I get a say in this? Like at all?” said Dean. Alan shrugged.

“Technically you are younger,” he said.

“In this world, jerkface,” said Dean. Alan nodded and curled his finger.

“Let’s go have a chat outside,” he said. Dean huffed but followed after him, Jensen sighing when he found Danneel and Sam hanging out in the living room. 

“I’m sorry about Dean,” said Sam, giving Jensen a smile. “He really does appreciate everything. I think the Alpha thing is really messing with him. He was head of the pack after our dad died and being head Alpha is a big deal in our world. I mean, take Dean with all his normal crap and add this on top of it.” 

“I know,” said Jensen, plopping down next to Danneel, resting his head on her shoulder. 

“Are only boys Alphas?” she asked, Jensen smiling up at her. Sam chuckled a little and shook his head.

“No. Pretty sure if she wasn’t an Alpha, she’d be the feistiest Omega I ever met though,” said Dean, rounding the corner with Jensen’s dad. “So yeah, chicks can totally be Alphas. A bit rarer though.”

“Well, I’m heading to bed kids. I’ll see you all in the morning, figure out how the hell to tell your mother we have another kid,” said Jensen’s dad, rubbing the back of his neck. “Goodnight.”

“Night,” said Danneel, giving Dean a smile. “So…”

“Can I talk to Sammy alone?” asked Dean.

“Yeah. We uh...we only got the one guest room but there’s plenty of couches around,” said Jensen, Dean smiling.

“Dude, it’s okay,” he said. “Uh, mind showing us? This’ll probably be a while. We got a lot to talk through. Brother to brother.”

Jensen nodded and played good host, showing them the bedroom and bathroom they could use, finding some extra sheets and pillows for Dean and setting them down in the room.

“De and I are just off the front door, other side of the house,” said Jensen, turning to leave.

“Hey, twin,” said Dean, Jensen glancing over his shoulder. “Call up Jared. Us four got a lot to talk about.”

“Honey?” asked Danneel, Jensen crawling into bed in the middle of the night. “What’s up with the boys?”

“We’re going to do it. Fake us both having twin brothers,” said Jensen. “I can’t believe this is our life now.”

“Hey, you always wanted the Winchesters to have a family,” she said.

“I didn’t think it’d literally be our family, De,” said Jensen, throwing an arm over her. “Why’d you ask about the Alpha stuff earlier?”

“Dean’s having a hard time, I want to help him if I can,” she said.

“Me too, sweetheart.”

Two Weeks Later

“Yo,” said Jensen, hopping out of his car on the way home from the airport, making a quick pit stop at the brewery. Dean gave him a nod, setting a sack of hops down. “De got you put to work good this week I heard.”

“I don’t care what happened in my universe. Both of you there at the same time, she’s so the Alpha out of you two,” said Dean.

“Eh, being an Omega’s not so bad, right?” said Jensen. 

“I’m sure she wouldn’t have minded you being the one that popped out the twins,” said Dean with a laugh. 

“You’re joking,” said Jensen.

“Remember that sex ed book? Nope,” said Dean.

“Where…” said Jensen, Dean glancing around Jensen. “No way.”

“Yup,” said Dean, sighing when he heard Danneel tutting behind him. “Gettin’ me in trouble with the boss lady already.”

“Boys,” said Danneel, a smile in her voice. “Jensen, Dean. This is Ana. Today’s her first day. She’s going to be helping out in the office, events, odds and ends. Ana, this is Jensen.”

“Hello sir,” she said, giving Jensen a handshake.

“Oh god, I’m your boss but please don’t ever call me sir again,” said Jensen with a smile. “We’re sort of a bunch of goofballs around here.”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” she said, turning to Dean. “Hi.”

“Hi,” said Dean, staring at her as she held out her hand. Jensen saw Dean blank out for a second, shaking his head and quickly accepting the handshake. “Dean.”

“Like Dean Winchester?” she said with a little laugh. Dean shook his head, dropping his face away after a moment. “Sorry.”

“No, no...you’re uh…” said Dean, Jensen catching a bit of flush in his cheeks.

“Let’s introduce you to everyone else and then Dean can be your training buddy for the day. He just started this week too,” said Danneel.

“Okay. Bye Jensen. Dean,” said Ana, giving them both a smile as she left with Danneel.

“She was cute,” said Jensen, Dean shrugging. “Dude.”

“Maybe...she was a little cute,” mumbled Dean.

“Too bad you were too busy trying not to blush you didn’t notice she was doing it too,” said Jensen. 

“She did not,” said Dean.

“Gonna have to find out for yourself, Deanie,” teased Jensen.

“Eh, go screw yourself, Jenny,” said Dean.

“Love you too. Brother,” said Jensen with a laugh, pausing when he caught Dean’s face. “Sorry.”

“No, it’s...it’s not you. S’just weird,” said Dean. “I used to know a girl in my world, looked just like her.”

“Really?” said Jensen, turning around, catching the Danneel and Ana walk out of the back of the brewery.

“It was when Sammy was in college. I was working this hunt, a little big for me to be working on my own. I met this hunter, was going to work it with him, my dad gave him a call. The guy was a bit of an ass. He said ‘his girl’ would show me the ropes. He left and this chick, ain’t even old enough to drink, she walks in the bar, orders a beer, tells them I’m paying for it, knocks it back and then tells me to get my perky ass going cause we got a restless spirit to take care of. I thought she was a bit of an ass like her old man but it was a front, we all got fronts in that world. She was stitching up my arm in my motel room when it was finished, had this cute little smile and bam, her heat hits. She’s freaking out because it’s way off schedule and then bam, my rut hits and that’s way off schedule too and we realize...true mates,” said Dean with a smirk. “I actually had an Omega. Can you believe that?”

“That’s great man,” said Jensen, already having an idea of where this story was going.

“You’re the first person I ever told that to. Not even Sammy knows I had a mate,” said Dean, rubbing the back of his neck. “It wasn’t even a hunt that got her. A silly car accident. We barely got a few months together.”

“I’m sorry. I can’t even imagine,” said Jensen. 

“No,” said Dean. “You can’t.”

“I can ask De to keep her away if-”

“No, no. It was a long time ago. It’s not her. I’m okay, seriously,” said Dean.

“Alright,” said Jensen. “I’ll see you at home later then.”

Two Days Later

“Daddy,” said Zeppelin, tugging on Dean’s jeans, Dean giving him a smile. “Oh. Uncle De, where’s daddy?”

“He’s playing with your sisters upstairs,” said Dean. “You want to go play with them?”

“No,” he said, walking away, Danneel giving him a smile as he plopped down in the living room.

“Alright, Uncle Dean,” she said, patting Dean’s arms. “Ready for your date tonight?”

“It’s not a date,” said Dean, running his hand over the gray button down Jensen had loaned him.

“It’s so a date,” said Jensen, walking down the stairs, patting Dean’s shoulder. “Come here.”

Jensen slipped on a pair of shoes and Dean followed him outside, handing him the keys to his truck.

“This where you tell me not to screw up this poor girl,” said Dean.

“This is where I tell you...have some fun tonight. We hardly ever see you crack a smile unless you’re with the kids,” said Jensen.

“Sam’s accepted that this is where we live now. I haven’t,” said Dean. “He’s making plans for apartments and I’m up half the night researching to get back.”

“Get back to what? To getting hurt all the time? Dying? Hunting?” said Jensen.

“It’s all I got, Jensen,” said Dean. “That and being an Alpha.”

“Well you’re not an Alpha anymore. You’re Dean and you get to start over fresh, be what you want. We’ll help you with whatever you decide. But you have to live your life,” said Jensen.

“I’m too fucked up,” he said. Jensen hummed and crossed his arms.

“I see. We’re gonna have to do this the hard way,” said Jensen. Dean rolled his eyes and started to walk away. “Hey. Winchester.”

“What,” said Dean with a sigh.

“Talk with Jared sometime,” said Jensen. Dean turned around and raised an eyebrow. “Just cause we don’t fight monsters doesn’t mean we don’t have demons in this family. Talk to him tomorrow. Jared’ll be honest with you. He’ll set your head straight.”

“Why? You sick of me already?” scoffed Dean.

“Because in case you forgot,” said Jensen, stepping up to Dean’s face, “You didn’t just get me as a brother. You got Jared too. I’m good at being there but Jared...you have more in common than you think. Just talk to him for me. For Sam. Please.”

“You’re not my brother,” mumbled Dean. 

“Yeah. I am,” said Jensen, Dean staring at him. “Neither one of us picked this but it’s what we got. You know, like siblings. You don’t get to pick those.”

“You’re so annoying,” said Dean.

“I”m the older brother. Of course I’m annoying,” said Jensen with a smirk.

“I was in Hell for forty years. I say that makes me older,” said Dean, narrowing his eyes as Jensen swallowed. He sighed and dropped his head. “I’m sorry. Forget I said that.”

“It’s alright,” said Jensen, digging into his back pocket and pulling out his credit card. “Have fun on your date. My treat.”

“I got a job. I can pay,” said Dean.

“Dude. Just take it. It’s your first date in this universe. It’s my treat and De ain’t gonna be happy if you say no,” said Jensen.

“Fine. It’s probably going to go horrible anyways,” he said as he took the card.

“Have fun, Dean!”

“Hey,” said Jensen when Dean walked into the kitchen the next morning, picking JJ up from her seat at the counter and sitting down, resting her in his lap. “How’d it go?”

“Good,” he yawned, JJ grabbing his cheeks. “Good morning, sweetie.”

“Uncle Dean, it’s my seat,” she said.

“Can we share?” he asked.

“Fine,” she said, grabbing his shirt and tilting her head. “You got a tattoo like dad?”

“This?” he asked, glancing at Jensen when he pulled down his Henley and showed off his anti-possession tattoo.

“I only got the three, honey. Yours and the twins and the crown,” said Jensen, sliding two plates of eggs on the counter. He walked around and picked her up, plopping her in the seat next to Dean. 

“Uncle Dean, are you gonna live with us forever?” asked JJ as she started to eat.

“No. Not forever,” said Dean with half a smile.

“Can you? Please?” she asked.

“I’ll stick around a while, how’s that sound?” asked Dean.

“Fine,” she grumbled.

“So how was the date?” asked Jensen.

“You know, a date,” said Dean.

“You gonna see Ana again?” he asked.

“I don’t know. Feels funny,” said Dean, wolfing down his food quickly. “I’m gonna go for a walk before it gets too hot out. I’ll see you guys.”

He stood and headed upstairs, JJ giving her father a look.

“Dad, why’s Uncle Dean so sad all the time?” she asked.

“It’s a lot of grown up stuff,” he said. 

“Can you fix it?” she asked.

“Maybe. Give Uncle Dean and Sam a few extra hugs for me when you see them honey,” he said.

“You got it, dad.”

“Hey,” said Jensen, finding Dean out by Jared’s pool a few hours later. “Where’s Sam?”

“Grocery store. Gen’s bringing the kids over your place to swim,” said Jared.

“So, what? You two need a ride?” chuckled Jensen.

“No. Dean came over this morning and we’ve been talking,” said Jared. “I thought it might be good to get you involved.”

“What’s up?” asked Jensen, taking a seat on a patio chair. 

“I think we all know Dean’s struggling with this...adjustment. Sam and I have noticed it and we’re sure you see it too. Add that on top of everything that these guys normally go through and this is where we end up,” said Jared.

“You okay?” asked Jensen, Dean sighing.

“In this world, you’re pack leader. Maybe you don’t realize but you are. I could get over the hunting if I could still be an Alpha, still have that,” said Dean.

“We don’t have that in our world, Dean,” said Jensen, tilting his head back. “I’m not a pack leader either. I’m part of a family, one you’re part of now. I know that this one is different than what you’re used to. I get it, man. We all do. But if you’re struggling, let us help.”

“I don’t know what I need,” said Dean.

“We don’t film until when, Tuesday afternoon?” asked Jensen after a moment.

“Nope,” said Jared, pulling out his phone. “You want me to reschedule our flight for Tuesday morning?”

“Yeah. I think a boys weekend with us and Sam is in order,” said Jensen with a smirk.

“Same place as we went last time?” asked Jared. 

“Yeah. You mind getting it reserved and I’ll get these boys packed up?” said Jensen.

“Where are we going?” asked Dean as Jensen pulled him to his feet.

“Trust us. You guys will like it.”

“Nice,” said Jared when Dean reeled in a fish late that afternoon. “That’s your fourth one already.”

“Must be a better fisherman in this universe,” Dean chuckled. He unhooked the fish and dropped it back in the water, Sam sighing from the other side of the dock. “Patience, Sammy.”

“I’m getting hungry,” he said. 

“Me too. Dean, how do you like your steak done?” asked Jared as he reeled in his line.

“Medium’s always good,” he said.

“Alright. You guys set the table out back and we’ll handle the food tonight,” said Jared, heading towards the small cabin with Sam.

“He a good cook?” asked Dean.

“He knows his way around a grill,” said Jensen, taking a sip of his beer. “You seem more relaxed here.”

“Not used to the real world still I suppose,” said Dean.

“Well, we rented the cabin for three weeks. You and Sam can come by anytime you want. Quiet place to be yourself,” he said.

“I like people. I want to be Dean Winchester again is all,” he said.

“You are. You’re a badass. I know that. But you gotta relax before you pop.”

“Maybe I haven’t been trying as much as I say I have been,” said Dean.

“When I was stuck, all I wanted was to go home,” said Jensen. “I understand.”

“Nothing bad happens here,” said Dean after a moment.

“Bad stuff happens. It’s not monsters that cause it is all,” said Jensen. “I think that’s what you struggle with.”

“There’s nothing for me to do here,” said Dean. “Nothing bad to stop. No pack to lead.”

“There’s plenty of bad to stop. Sam still needs you. I think you have to change that idea in your head of what that means is all,” said Jensen.

“Do you always have to be so annoyingly optimistic?” asked Dean.

“I want you to feel better is all.”

“Why?”

“You’ve been one of my best friends for fifteen years. I care about you. I didn’t know you were real until recently but you taught me a few things over the years. If you could stop being such a dick, it’d be nice,” he said.

“I’m your best friend? You sure you ain’t nuts, Jenny?” asked Dean.

“Why wouldn’t I be? Also, you so put my head at rest knowing a freaking hunter is home with my family to watch out for them when I’m not there,” he said.

“I never thought of it like that,” he said, a small smile on his face. “You got no idea how lucky you are, man.”

“I know. Maybe when we get back from our trip, you can hang with Ana again. She’s cute. You seemed like you liked her,” he said.

“I did. I’ll think about it,” he said. “Would you mind if I did something with the kids next week? Like after school?”

“Not at all. You don’t have to ask permission. I see how good you are with them and I’m sure De would love a few hours to herself,” he said, pulling his line in. “Why don’t you stay a bit longer. I can setup.”

“Alright,” said Dean as Jensen stood up. “Jensen.”

“Hm?”

“Thanks. You and Jared for taking care of us. You could have left us on our own to figure all this out,” he said.

“S’not our style,” said Jensen. “Food’ll be done in probably twenty.”

“What are you, my mother? I got it,” he said, waving him off.

Jensen smiled as he headed back to the cabin, Jared heating up the grill on the deck.

“You think he’s doing better?” asked Jared.

“Yeah. I think these guys are gonna be alright.”

_________

#spn #supernatural #dean x jensen #dean winchester #supernatural fanfiction #dean #winchester #dean spn #sam winchester #jensen ackles #rpf #au #rpf au #sam #jensen #platonic relationships

[human-antithesis]

Deathspell Omega - Diabolus Absconditus

Lyrics:

Death is the most terrible of all things; and to maintain its works is what requires the greatest of all strength. — Hegel Would it all be absurd? Or might it make some kind of sense? I've made myself sick wondering about it. I awake in the morning – just the way millions do, millions of boys, girls, infants and old men, their slumber dissipated forever... These millions, those slumbers have no meaning. A hidden meaning? Hidden, yes, 'obviously'! But if nothing has any meaning, there's no point in my doing anything. I'll beg off. I'll use any deceitful means to get out of it, in the end I'll have to let go and sell myself to meaninglessness, nonsense: that is man's killer; the one who tortures and kills, not a glimmer of hope left. But if there is meaning? Today I don't know what it is. Tomorrow? Tomorrow, who can tell me? Am I going to find out what it is? No, I can't conceive of any 'meaning' other than 'my' anguish, and as for that, I know all about it. And for the time being: nonsense. Monsieur Nonsense is writing and understands that he is mad. It's atrocious. But his madness, this meaninglessness – how 'serious' it has become all of a sudden! – might that indeed be 'meaningful'? My life has only a meaning insofar as I lack one: oh, but let me be mad! Make something of all this he who is able to, understand it he who is dying, and there the living self is, knowing not why, it's teeth chattering in the lashing wind: the immensity, the night engulfs it and, all on purpose, that living self is there just in order... 'not to know'. But as for GOD? GOD, if he knew, would be a swine. He would entirely grasp the idea... but what would there be of the human about him? Beyond, beyond everything... And yet farther, and even farther still... HIMSELF, in an ecstasy, above an emptiness... Cognitive activity: God comes to be known in ways that originate in God solely God is nothing if He is not, in every sense, the surpassing God; in the sense of common everyday being, in the sense of dread, horror and impurity, and, finally, in the sense of nothing... He is mystery, indeed he is the absolute mystery Divine disclosure is in direct proportion To the degree of divine concealment Intensification of revelation equals To increase of god's hiddenness Descent of the Deus Absconditus Vere tu es Deus Absconditus The unreservedly open spirit – open to death, to torment, to joy - the open spirit, open and dying, suffering and dying and happy, stands in a certain veiled light: that light is divine. And the cry that breaks from a twisted mouth may perhaps twist him who utters it, but what he speaks is an immense alleluia, flung into endless silence, and lost there. Shall my only victory be available in conscience? Why is absence the proof, when I demand palpable presence? There is enough light to enlighten the elect and enough darkness to humble them. There is enough darkness to blind the reprobate and enough clarity to condemn them, And make them without excuse. Our perception is subject to the fissure of concupiscence Woestruck am I realizing that the light Cast on this chiaroscuro world is partial and selective Division, election and predestination Enabled by grace or left to one's own device... Anguish only is sovereign absolute. The sovereign is a king no more: it dwells low-hiding in big cities. It knits itself up in silence, obscuring it's sorrow. Crouching thick-wrapped, there it waits, lies waiting for the advent of Him who shall strike a general terror; but meanwhile and even so sorrow scornfully mocks at all that comes to pass, at all there is. From very high above a kind of stillness swept down upon me and froze me. It was as though I were borne aloft in a flight of headless and unbodied angels Shaped from the broad swooping of wings, but it was simpler than that. I became unhappy and felt painfully forsaken, as one is when in the presence of God. She was seated, she held one leg stuck up in the air, to open her crack Yet wider she used her fingers to draw the folds of skin apart And so her 'old rag and ruin' loured at me, hairy and pink, Just as full of life as some loathsome squid. 'Why', I stammered in a subdued tone, 'Why are you doing that?' 'You can see for yourself', she said, 'I'm God'. No use laying it all up to irony when I say of her that she is GOD. But GOD figured as a public whore and gone crazy – that, viewed through the optic of 'philosophy', makes no sense at all. I don't mind having my sorrow derided if derided it has to be, he only will grasp me aright whose heart holds a wound that is an incurable wound, who never, for anything, in any way, would be cured of it... And what man, if so wounded, would ever be willing to 'die' of any other hurt? If there is nothing that surpasses our powers and our understanding, If we do not acknowledge something greater than ourselves, Greater than we are despite ourselves, Something which at all costs must not be, Then we do not reach the insensate moment towards which we strive With all that is in our power and which at the same time We exert with all our power to stave off. I can utter no word, O my God, unless I be permitted by Thee, And can move in no direction until I obtain Thy sanction. It is Thou, O my God, Who hast called me into being through the power Of Thy might, and has endued me with Thy grace to manifest Thy Cause. The act whereby being – existence – is bestowed upon us is an unbearable surpassing of being, an act no less unbearable than that of dying. And since, in death, being is taken away from us at the same time it is given us, we must seek for it in the feeling of dying, in those unbearable moments when it seems to us that we are dying because the existence in us, during these interludes, exists through nothing but a sustaining and ruinous excess, when the fullness of horror and that of joy coincide. As I waited for annihilation, all that subsisted in me Seemed to me to be the dross over which man's life tarries...

#Deathspell Omega #Avant-Garde Black Metal #Avant Garde Black Metal #Black Metal #Avant-Garde #Avant Garde #France

[artificialqueens]

Kingdom of Isolation: Chapter 2 - (Crystal/Gigi) - Imposterzoe

"There are rules here." Crystal started as she led Gigi to her room. "Rule one, don't try to kill me."

Gigi shrugged. "Doable."

"Rule two, the west wing of the castle is forbidden."

"May I ask why?"

"Because those are my private chambers and if I catch you there, I'll kill you."

Gigi flushed, once again being reminded of exactly who she was dealing with.

Crystal raised an eyebrow. "How do you turn red all the time? Is that some sort of mortal thing?"

Gigi blushed harder. Exactly how much did Crystal know about humans?  "Uh yes. It's my blood rushing to my face." She mumbles.

Crystal stopped and looked her up and down. "But you're standing, how is blood going into your face?" She leans in slightly. "Your eyes are not red."

"No it's not… what?" Gigi absently musses her hair. This whole interaction was making her head hurt.

They stand there, staring at each other in confusion. Gigi shook her head and took a step. "Shall we continue?"

Crystal blinked but took a step of her own. "Oh yes of course." They continue their trek as Crystal resumes her list.

"Rule three, you are to be out of this castle by the time the first rays of light shine in the sky. I'll make sure one of my servants wakes you."

"Servants?" She was under the impression that Crystal lived alone.

In response Crystal flicked her wrist and suddenly Gigi was surrounded by a swarm of…

"Snowflakes?" She asked incredulously. Crystal rolled her eyes.

"Ice and snow are under my control Gigi. If I want them sentient, they are sentient. If I don't," She flicked her wrist again and the snowflakes fell. "Then they aren't."

"Wow." Gigi breathed.

Crystal sends the snowflakes away and walks on. "Rule four, do not tell anyone about my existence when you get home. The belief that a man rules this realm is the only thing keeping me safe. The second anyone knows the ruler is a woman, I'll have a hundred armies at my door."

She stopped in front of a room, flinging the door open to reveal a very quaint, little space.

Gigi looked at her quarters for the night, eager to try out the bed. She was exhausted.

She started to walk in but Crystal grabbed her arm.

"One last rule." She stared at Gigi, who blushed once more under her intense gaze.

"Yes?" She whispers hesitantly. Crystal was hurting her.

"Rule five is simple." Crystal squeezed her arm. "Don't come back. You will leave tomorrow and if I ever see you again, I will kill you. Do you understand?"

Gigi's heart was in her throat and she choked on her confirmation.

"Do you understand?!" Crystal hisses again and for a second Gigi swears Crystal's eyes were glowing.

"Yes, I understand." Gigi gasps and Crystal lets her go with a curt nod.

"Feel free to look around. I'll send a servant to fetch you for dinner." With that she turns and starts down the hall.

"The snowflakes cook?" Gigi calls down the hall.  

Crystal turns with smirk. "Snowflakes aren't my only servants, Gigi. Some actually have arms." Then she disappears around the corner.

The second she's out of sight, Gigi collapses against the doorframe and shivers.

Crystal's hands were so cold she actually had frostbite in the shape of Crystal's hand. She watched it fade.

Pulling her cloak tighter around her, she slowly walked into her room.

While the room was easily three times bigger than her whole cottage, it was still smaller than she thought a castle bedroom would be.

The walls were lined with bookshelves, the only other decor being a large desk and the even larger bed.

Lightly running her fingers along the leather spines, she slowly made her way to the bed.

She pulled the comforter back and couldn't help but sigh in relief at the sight of an actual mattress. She expected a pile of snow or something.

She climbed in and yelped in pleasant surprise. The bed was ridiculously warm in this room of ice.

She burrowed in deeper, pulling the even warmer fur comforter around her and sighing happily.

She felt the tension melt from her tired body as her breathing grew deep.

Movement on top of the bookshelves caught her eye but she stared for all of three seconds before succumbing to sleep.

It would be hours before she realized something was staring back at her.

~~~~~~~~~~

The second Crystal was out of Gigi's view, she collapsed against the wall and shuddered.

Her hands were tingling so much they were shaking. She didn't know why but everytime she touched Gigi, she felt warm.

She'd never felt that warm in her life and she never wanted to.

When ice literally runs through your veins and you control all things cold, warmth wasn't exactly something you wanted to feel.

In fact, sometimes warmth hurt.

She slowly continued her trek to her study, welcoming the cold that embraced her the further she got from Gigi's quarters.

Before long she was in the safety of her own comfortably cold chambers.

Well actually "safety" may not be the best word considering a snowball hit her in the face the second she opened the door.

She wiped the snow from her face and glowered at the thrower.

"Problem Von'du?" She snapped.

A sculpture leaned on her desk, looking a tad heated for an ice being.

Widow walked over and looked Crystal dead in the eye. "Who is that mortal and what the hell is she doing here? Are you trying to get yourself killed?!"

Crystal rolled her eyes and pushed Widow away, walking to her desk. "Well 'the mortal' is named Gigi and she's here because I allowed her to stay."

Widow gaped. "You did what?!"

"I let her stay." She collapsed in her seat and her eyes fell shut. "She's very young, Widow. I couldn't just kill her."

Widow threw her hands up. "Yeah you could've. Would've been easy actually."

Crystal sighed, opening her eyes. "Contrary to your belief Widow, I'm not a murderer."

Widow snorted. "Tell that to the sculptures in the fucking foyer."

"Those sculptures attacked me. Gigi... didn't." She was aware of her voice softening and her shoulders relaxing but prayed Widow wasn't.

"Oh my god!" The sculpture shouted.

No such luck.

Widow's narrowed and she pointed accusingly at Crystal. "You like this mortal, don't you?"

"So what if I do?" Crystal challenged.

"So what if you do?!" Widow was dumbstruck. What in the hell had happened to Crystal overnight?

Crystal spread her arms. "So what if I do?" She repeated.

"So what if you…. So what if…. You…" Widow massaged her temples, attempting to process this. "How could you like…" She gestured wildly. "One of them?!"

Crystal arched an eyebrow. "One of them? You mean a child?"

"I mean a mortal! You know… The beings that killed literally everyone else in the fucking kingdom?!"

She jumped to her feet, glowering down at Widow. "I know what her kind have done but I also know that Gigi in particular wasn't there."

Widow swallowed, forcing herself to defend her position. "And? She's a mortal and there are no mortals allowed. Your parents created me to enforce those rules."

Crystal sucked her teeth. "The girl is here to stay Von'du and there's nothing you can do about it." She sat back down, attempting to stomp down her anger.

"You're talking like she's here forever." Widow points out, defiance in her eyes.

Crystal opens the nearest book in response, boredly thumbing through it. "No, it's just for the night. The matter is now closed, Widow."

Widow gaped, confused on what exactly had hit Crystal on the head. "But-"

"You are dismissed Widow." There was no room in her tone for arguing and the sculpture slunk to the door.

"Oh and Widow?" She calls.

"Yes?" Widow snapped, turning around.

"You'll be in charge of escorting Gigi around the castle. Get her to dinner, give her a small tour, and wake her up before first light so she can leave. Keep her away from the West Wing. Give her some food when she goes. And do this all nicely." She scratched her cheek lightly. "Yeah that about covers it."

Widow's jaw was on the floor. This was just cruel and unusual punishment. "Wouldn't Jan be a better pick? She's the super perky one!"

"Don't care. You have your orders and you will follow them."

She continued to stare but something Crystal said stuck out to her. Keep her away from the West Wing? A dark smirk grew on her face. Like hell I will.

"Yes your majesty." She says aloud, slamming the door on her way out.

Crystal snapped her book shut the second the door closed. Her head dropped to the desk and she sighed tiredly.

Between fighting with Widow and feeling so damn warm earlier, she was exhausted.

In the back of her mind she wondered if the excessive warmth was from Gigi 'blushing.' She knew next to nothing about mortals and Gigi threatened what she did know.

She was taught that humans were barbaric beings that knew nothing but how to kill what they were frightened of.

Gigi was indeed frightened of her but she also surrendered without complaint.

Crystal wasn't taught that humans could surrender.

Or that they could blush.

Or that some of them were extremely beautiful….

She leaned back in her chair, rubbing her face.

"What the fuck is this mortal doing to me?" She groaned. "And why do I like it?"

She stood, pacing around her office. She suddenly stopped at the portrait of her father that adorned the wall. He stared at her and she could almost see the disappointment in his eyes.

"I'm sorry Father." She whispered. "But I want her to stay…" He continued to stare. "For research." She tacked on as if it helped.

She walked to the door, turning to look back at her father. "Just for research, I swear."

She had a plan.

#rpdr fanfiction #crystal methyd #gigi goode #crygi #widow von du #slight angst #slow burn #kingdom of isolation #imposterzoe #s12 #lesbian au

[atomic-taco-muffin]

I Love You Chapter 5

Warnings: Y’all ready to cry? No? Well to bad! The real Organization XIII without Xehanort, Terranort, Repliku, Xion, and Saïx

You were walking to school when you thought of what Yuki said to you the other day. About how there was something special about you and how you should run away from Destiny Islands. You decided talk to Yuki and ask what to do. You walked around the school trying to find Yuki and found him by the front of the school. 

“Hey, Yuki. Can we talk?” you asked.

“Sure.” 

“I keep thinking about what you said. About how you think there’s something special about me and how I should run away.” 

“Yeah. What about it?” 

“Let’s do it. I want to finally explore the outside world.” 

“I knew there was something different about you. It’s strange seeing you and your dad. Maybe he’s he isn’t your real dad...and he kidnapped you. Has he ever told you your mom’s name? And he doesn’t want to know about other worlds.” You remembered the time when you ask Sora who your mother was. He told you to never ask that again. Maybe Yuki was right. Maybe Sora wasn’t your actual dad. But what if Yuki’s lying? No, Yuki’s your friend. He would never lie to you. 

“But my daddy loves me...”

“Sometimes people pretend to love you. Just so they can take advantage of you.”

“Why would daddy to that?” 

“You’re a princess. I can see it. You were taken from your parents. I can bring you to them. If you run away from Destiny Islands.”

“But won’t daddy be lonely if I leave?”

“He deserves it for taking you away from your real family. Look, you should get to class. I’ll see you later.” 

“Okay.” 

~~~~

Once school was over, you went to go find Yuki. He was standing at the same spot that you found him earlier. 

“Hey, Yuki.” 

“Hey, (Y/N). Are you ready?” 

“I was thinking of doing it tomorrow. Just so I could see my dad one last time.” 

“Okay. Take your time. I’ll meet you at the secret place.” 

“Okay.” You got on the bus and headed home. You got off the bus, entered your house and went straight to your room. Sora didn’t think to much on it. He thought that you had homework to do. While you did do your homework, you also packed a bag of things that thought were important for you to take with you. You saved the Sora plushie for last. You looked at the plushie and started to cry. You hugged it close to your chest and cried. Sora came in to check in you since you’ve been in your room for a while. 

“Hey, Cupcake. What’s wrong?” Sora went to give you a hug.

“DON’T TOUCH ME...please.” Sora was shocked. He’s never seen you like this. 

“Cupcake. It’s okay. I’m not gonna hurt you. Can you tell me what happened?” 

“I’m not yours...” you whispered under your breath. Unfortunately Sora heard this. 

“Why would you think that, Cupcake?” You shrugged your shoulders and said that you didn’t know. 

“Well, I can assure you that you’re my daughter. Besides, you have my kindness.” You smiled slightly. 

“Wanna order in?” You perked your head up and nodded. 

“Okay. You want cheesecake?”(Sorry if you can’t have cheesecake. You can think of something else.)

“Okay.” Sora went to go order your favorite cheesecake. When it arrived, you and Sora watched some of your favorite movies and ate your cake. You felt a little better afterwards. After cake, you went and got ready for bed. Sora came into your room to read you a bedtime story. You didn’t smile like you use to when he read it. He even did his pirate voice! That always made you laugh! He had a enough of this and begins to play tickle monster and you laughed. You started to have second thoughts. Because who would take care of you, make you laugh, and love you? You soon went to bed and so did Sora.

~~~~

You were back at the place where you had the last nightmare. The old man and the man in the black coat was there walking towards you. You closed your eyes bracing for impact when all of a sudden, the old man and the person in the black coat were stuck down. You opened them slowly, and saw a man standing in front of you. For some reason, you felt like you knew him. It wasn’t Yuki but it was....

~~~~

You woke up, feeling ready but nervous for today. You got ready, like normal. Went downstairs to greet Sora and had breakfast, like normal. But before you left the house, Sora stopped you.

“(Y/N). Come back here.” Shoot! He caught you. You walked over to Sora preparing for him to figure out your secret plan with Yuki. 

“Don’t forget your umbrella. It’s raining today.” 

“Okay, daddy.” Whew! That was a close one. You exited the house and opened your umbrella while walking towards school. After school was finished, you walked towards the secret place. When you saw Yuki standing by the entrance, you dropped your umbrella and ran to him. 

“Hi, Yuki!” 

“Hi. You ready?” 

“Yep!”  

~~~~

As Sora went to go pick you up, he noticed something in the road. It was your umbrella! Sora panicked as he ran towards the school. He was praying that you were okay. When he got to the school, he saw that you weren’t there. Somehow, he knew that you were at the secret place. He ran as fast as he could, but it was to late. He screamed at you saying that you shouldn’t go with him. You took Yuki’s hand and walked through the door. When he got home, he broke down crying. His little girl gone. Possibly forever. 

~~~~

You walked through the door, still holding Yuki’s hand. You looked around you. There was a castle in front of you. But the sky was dark. You asked Yuki why the sky was dark and he said that you would find out soon enough. You entered the castle to be greeted by a man with long hair and an eyepatch(we all know who it is)

“Hey, Yuki. You’re back.” the man said. 

“Yes, I am, Xigbar.” Yuki replied. 

“Woah. Are you a pirate?” You were amazed by Xigbar’s appearance. Xigbar looked down at you and saw your excited face.

“Uhh, yeah I am. The name’s Xigbar.” 

“I’m (Y/N).”

“Hey, (Y/N). We got to go meet someone special okay?” 

“Okay! It was nice to meet you, Xigbar!” You walked with Yuki to meet this special person.

“Okay. Before we go in, you’ve got to be on your best behavior.”

“Okay!” Yuki opened the door and you walked in to be greeted by the man that you saw in your dream. Yuki knelt down, you copied him, not wanting to be rude.

“Lord Xemnas. I have returned.” 

“I see. You may leave.” Yuki stood up and left. 

“Rise, child.” You stood up and looked up at him. Xemnas got down from his throne(not the super high ones. just a regular one) and held his arms out like he was asking for a hug. You ran up to him and he engulfed you into a big hug. You hugged him tight and cried into his shoulder. 

“I’m so glad you’re home. I missed you so much, pumpkin.” 

“I missed you too, daddy.” Xemnas gently put you down. 

“Let me show you your new room.”

“Okay.” You took Xemnas’ hand and walked with him to your new room. It was huge! There was a huge bed with a beautiful mosquito net above it.  

You ran to the bed and belly flopped onto it. It was so soft! You’ve never had a bed this comfy! Xemnas chuckled at your goofiness. 

“I’ll let you explore your room and come get you when it’s time for dinner.” he said 

“Okay.” Xemnas closed the door behind him. You went to the closet and saw how huge it was along with the most beautiful dresses ever. 

(i now want to be a princess. i would add more but i was super lazy.)

You also saw some tiaras as well. You took one and gently placed it on your head. It didn’t stay on well. You were scared of breaking it you put it pack where your found it. You exited the closet to explore your room more. You looked at a portrait that was on the wall in your bed and saw your mom with Xemnas. You didn’t know this but, the real photo was with your mom and Sora. You climbed onto the bed and opened your bag with the stuff you brought. You took out the Sora plushie and the locket. Something was telling you that this was wrong, but you didn’t listen. You put the locket on and hugged the plushie. When it got close to dinner, you went to the closet and put on one of the dresses and found a tiara that felt somewhat stable. You put on a pair of shoes that was also in the closet. When Xemnas came in, he saw you in your new outfit. 

“Hi, daddy! What do you think?” you asked as you twirled in your new outfit. 

“I think that you are the most beautiful princess that ever existed. Are you ready for dinner?” You nodded. You took Xemnas’ hand and walked with him to the dining room. You entered the room and saw other organization members. Two of them were fighting for the last piece of chicken. (again, i think you know who i’m talking about. If not, then I’ll tell you. The one ate the chicken is Demyx and the other one is our Pikachu queen, Larxene. I love her.) Another member trying stop the one member from killing the other. Another member was reading a book. Xemnas noticed your scared look and gave your hand a reassuring squeeze. You followed Xemnas to one part of the table and sat next to Yuki. 

“Hey, (Y/N).” he said. 

“Hi, Yuki.” You were served a plate of the dinner that everyone else was having by Xemnas. 

“Thanks, daddy.” 

“You’re welcome, sweetheart.” You and the Organization ate dinner. Once everyone was done, you were introduced to the members and they were introduced to you. 

~~~~ 

It was time for bed. You changed into some comfy pajamas the Organization provided you. You did your usual routine and climbed into bed. There was a knock on your door and Xemnas walked in. 

“Hi, pumpkin. Are you all ready for bed?” 

“Yup!” Xemnas sat on the edge of the bed and told you a bedtime story about the other worlds and how they fought in war. It was intriguing. You hoped that you get to see them soon. After the story was over, Xemnas tucked you in, kissed your forehead good night, opened the locket you had and played the music box. You soon fell asleep to the beautiful melody and had good dreams. The next day, You put on another beautiful dress, shoes, and tiara and went to go eat breakfast. After breakfast, you decided to explore the castle. You found the library, Vexen’s lab, and whole lot more. After you were done exploring, you went to Xemnas’ office. You knocked on the door and Xemnas let you in. 

“Hi, daddy.” you said. 

“Hi, pumpkin. Whatcha doing?” 

“Exploring the castle.” 

“Okay. I have some things to finish up, but afterwards we can go explore some other worlds.”

“Okay.” You left the office and went to the Gray Area. There you saw Xigbar chillin. 

“Hi, Xigbar!” 

“Hey, kid. How’s it going?”

“Good. Daddy’s going to take me to another world today.” 

“Cool. Wanna hang out till it’s time to go?” 

“Sure!” You sat across from Xigbar and he told you about himself. You did as well. 

“(Y/N). Time to go.”

“Coming! It was nice to see you, Xigbar.” You ran to the entrance of the castle and took Xemnas’ hand. 

“Are you ready?”

“Yep!” Xemnas summoned a Dark Corridor and the two of you went through it. When you exited, you and Xemnas were in Twilight Town. 

“Wow! Where are we?” you asked. 

“We’re in Twilight Town.”

“Cool!” 

“Let’s go find some things for your room.” 

“Okay!” You and Xemnas walked around the town and bought some cool things for your room. They bought games, toys, movies, and a whole bunch of other things for your room. Little did you know, but Xemnas did this to make sure that you didn’t run away. While you two were shopping, the Sea Salt Ice Cream Trio (including Saïx) were watching. 

“Hey, is that Xemnas?” Xion asked. 

“I think so. But the real question is, who’s that with him?” Axel replied. It felt kind of disturbing seeing Xemnas with a child. They didn’t know it was you since they haven’t seen you since you were born. They soon got a call from the king saying to come to Master Yen Sid’s tower immediately. Maybe there, he can explain what’s been going on. They were soon in for a surprise

#Sora Kingdom hearts #kh sora x reader #sora imagines #sora x reader #sora+x+reader #kingdom hearts #kingdomhearts

[fashionfiestashop]

Til Death Do Us Part Dog Lovers Vintage Retro T-Shirt

It is prone Q1 on our anti Q and a Til Death Do Us Part Dog Lovers Vintage Retro T-Shirt to ensure there is no promotion of violence you see that they’re trying to insinuate that you went on is it is promoting violence which is another mainstream media bullshit talking points when you see them engaging in censorship and using mainstream media talking points as their excuse then you know side there on this is why I’m moving my march from tea spring to a different platform as soon as I find but for now you can get your emergency spring now twitter Facebook histogram mainstream media they’re all engaging. The consequent golf or was it going to happen some other way if he had that attention will happen no matter what with whenever there is no answer whether we will Santos is discovered now that he has essentially caused the end of everything there will be nothing so he will be alone forever is no point having your ultimate power is like stuck their right the only way he can actually effectively matter again is my stock was himself to use the power to repair the universeand and bring it back into existence so but he won’t exist with the new rule that you kids come back come back from death but respect universe eventually he’ll just come back somehow was then owes you will be a godly more but he’ll just be back right except he was the only guy in believes that like if he does bad because he’s part of the creation itselfand because he’s a person with a personality was like a beginningand an end that like that will be the one exception to this reignite universes of fans were right as he had to be outside of it created yet so he can also be in the why it has to be our current continuity because if that were the case that means that Dan is never existedand so that any store within usand it doesn’t happen right but that isn’t the case because a course for starlet is in continuity in the stores that happen in the course merely following the steps back so you don’t but the front of the level of about whether or not like you should sacrifice yourself if you know can never existed no one or not alluded to say I have the I am I am God of the entire universe I will destroy everything in order to re create everything I do give up the power why your God well will because that is what it takes to reignite it because I look to the powerand I aghast of how work in the hotel will it take to destroy everything won’t it to pick up our but it didn’t beat him at that point he saw that all he sucked everything into him yet you actually kill everything you wantedand so he immediately resurrected I guess right or is knowing it from him all the will be over there he’s over here he’d like to it’ll take everything that is him to do it so actually not a good way no so anyway at a more lifelike will all go back in my room so I remember alland is that enoughand doesn’t know you suck you care about that as well here are some panels you know I’m not the only one was spared by your wrathand then death appears a little depth is here to get death escaped wrath maybe was in the room without warlock or maybe deficit outside of all this death was within vessels is meant to so death was watching little girl call warlock moreover Gabe is I technically desk that has to exist anywhere but yeah probably feels like I’m warlockand more will die even outside of the universe so you definitely happen so you anyway so death is thereand Adam warlock’s like you know if you make this trip it basically says come in mind that areand then death shows upand she forms into a beautiful womanand she says thank you to vandals this to talk to me directly she never does that you never done but then she leans inand kisses himand then we like this was the gesture the deaf one from the mall right not killing universe allows primary impressive it was the sacrifice right that he owned willing to die he askedand so he’s like okey doke he like how ironic that my power Avenue really ironic that like my destiny turned out to be a universal healerand so that he expels the powerand then everything is as it was only then owes his dadand that plant that he went to to chill with time convinces the planet that he went to when he was thought that infinity gauntlet Emma Gardner is his cowl is left there the global Santos mask now more picks up is like good on you Santosand then he leaves that’s normal BMV it’s like the end of the status quo that you know marble to be which is the death of the revolving door right but it’s also not trueand he is violating Mr marble still back more woman or whatever else Normal delivered while the more was a different Design of housing in which he broke it knows wonderment Unser wonderment what do you want to come back one more time but now it’s only the original wonder man before he died right you get here. He said that it makes me smart so it’s smart to pay for our military smart not to pay for veterans it’s smart not to pay for teachers all of us who do pay for those things I guess were stupid and the last thing I’ll say ready entitled to last one has never been signed has had to give Donald Trump his tax returns to show he was qualified to be vice president Donald Trump must give the American public’s tax returns to show that he’s qualified to be president and breaking his promise Elaine I have to respond to the leaders Donald Trump his file over hundred pages of financial disclosure which is what the law requires that he can review that and he’s going senator you are going to release the audit first overreaches your tax returns on a huge act since Carol Kennedy for responsible for your current dollars per year your administration do first where it protects us a security which is one of the greatest programs that the American government is ever done it happened at a time when you would work your whole life

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[stellalux-universe]

Shout At The Devil

Summary: Nikki doesn’t believe in God or the Devil, not necessarily. He believes that people can be angels or demons but doesn’t actually think those entities exist but he is extremely interested in the stories surrounding them all. Still, he does feel a peculiar energy wash over him as he flips an old book on witchcraft open and starts copying down symbols to use on their stage.

What follows will certainly change his life for good. Or evil, depending on your perspective.

Notes: ~Hello! So here I am, foolishly attempting a multi-chaptered alternate universe fic. What the hell am I thinking? But I'm going to do my best and update as frequently as I can, I promise! As long as people actually, you know, want it. I don't want to give anything away with this story so I'm gonna let you move right along now but first a HUGE SHOUT OUT to @devil-shouted​ because this fic is a product of a long and intensive head cannon that we have been talking about forever together and it would not exist without her! LOVE YOU DARLING, I hope you like how it came out! As usual, I haven't edited and I'm going to try to do so tomorrow but I wanted to get this up tonight because I'm stubborn! Okay, well, I hope you enjoy~

You can read this on my Ao3 as well if you’d prefer:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/21416446/chapters/51026005

Chapter 1: Streetwise Religion

Nikki’s mind is completely blank as he stares at the empty, open notebook in front of him. The stark purity of the white paper absolutely mocking him without any black markings as he taps his pen against the desk in his makeshift home studio. His bass is propped up against the far wall, the curtains of the huge window open to let in the moonlight that mixes with the warmth of the lamps that are on in his house, and there’s a half empty bottle of Jack sitting precariously close to the edge of the desk, all things that would normally combine to create the perfect atmosphere in which he could write but tonight, there’s just nothing.

A deep growl of frustration leaves his throat completely out of his control as he throws himself to lean back in his chair and slams his pen down, hands coming up to card through his matted black hair. His fingers get stuck in some greasy knots and he makes a mental note to actually take a shower soon, sighing as he grabs the pack of cigarettes and a lighter from the clutter on the desk and lights one up.

The nicotine that fills his lungs has an immediate calming effect as he exhales the smoke, looking around absently at the dark red walls of the room where he spends most of his time when he’s in his new home. He bought the house with his signing bonus after his band signed with Elektra Records, right after buying himself his dream car, and it still shocked him every single time that he was an actual house owner.

It wasn’t crucial for him to write at this exact moment. They had just released their newest album and they were about to start touring in just over a week and Nikki was feeling so validated. Validated because he knew they were good enough, the record sales for Shout at the Devil that were already taking off was proof of that. Those days and nights grinding away, playing the shittiest bars on the strip to measly crowds of people who barely looked up to boo, had been worth it. The heckling, the fist fights, the literal starvation in that old crappy two bedroom apartment he shared with Vince, his lead singer, and Sammy, their drummer, had been worth it. Long nights agonizing over every note and word with Mick as the man constantly changed his guitar pieces were absolutely worth it because they were making it. His baby, his band, was taking off and Nikki was happier than he can ever remember being.

Or maybe, happy wasn’t exactly the word.

Proud, yes. Exhilarated, definitely.

But happiness was an elusive concept for Nikki. He experiences it like the atmosphere experiences lightning; a long static build-up of events and situations, a fast, explosive crack of feeling, followed by a just as quick dissipation back to dispiritedness. Vince had told him once that Nikki was just a morose person, that when he wasn’t drunk or high and therefor crazy, he just naturally tended toward depression.

Nikki doesn’t really believe that’s true, it’s just that his sober mind thinks too much about things that he can’t control or change.

He thinks about his childhood, or more accurately, the lack thereof. He thinks about how selfish and miserable a mother has to be to set her own desires above the actual physical welfare of her child. He thinks about a kid being hit by men meant to be father figures and about how he’s never taking shit like that from anybody ever again. He thinks about the abandonment by an actual father, about how disappointing it was to realize his namesake wanted nothing to do with him, about how he felt burning the last of Frank Feranna Jr. away with his license the day he became Nikki Sixx.

Most of all he thinks about the loneliness. The loneliness of a boy who never had an ounce of affection thrown his way until way too late in his life. That loneliness was a beast inside of Nikki’s heart, gnawing away at the sinew and veins and drinking the blood that was supposed to be pumped through his body, leaving him feeling weak. Nikki didn’t like to feel weak.

He did everything he could to fill that void, to feed that beast, to cling to the brief sparks of happiness that came his way. He drank and did drugs, he did crazy things with Vince and Sammy just to override everything with that rush of adrenaline, he bedded countless groupies, men and women alike, all in an effort to drive away that loneliness and chase away the darkness in his own mind. He turned himself into an animal of the night, prowling the streets of Los Angeles for anything to distract him in the dark. But it was always temporary, just like the flash of a lightning strike, driven away by the morning sun and leaving Nikki tortured by his demons again.

Nikki isn’t one to languish in his misery. He doesn’t want to be sad like Sammy seems to think, and he does try to be happy unlike what Vince seems to think. He supposes Mick understands it best, the weariness that comes with a life that has just beaten you down. The guitarist told him when they last talked about it that Nikki just hadn’t found that thing that lifts him up and makes him want to stay up and until he does, he’s always going to be in this spiral.

The issue was that Nikki always thought that thing would be his music. Nikki is under no delusions, he knows that music literally saved his life. He wouldn’t be here today without it and he has a love for it that rests deep in his bones, but it’s temporary, just like everything else for him. In those few hours he’s on stage or in the studio, he’s truly Nikki Sixx. Alive, passionate, strong, thriving. The second he’s not playing though, he’s lost, his music unable to sustain him when he doesn’t have a bass in his hands or a notebook in his lap.

For now, he’s okay. They’re busy working on putting together a killer stage for their set, spending copious amounts of time in the studio to perfect their setlist and live versions of the recorded tracks. Nikki is swamped with photoshoots and interviews and record signings. These things occupy him and distract him from that emptiness that consumes him when he’s alone and idle.

He’s already turned to heavy drinking and copious amounts of cocaine to stave off his darker thoughts, he shudders to think about what he might get into when those stop being enough.

For now though, he wanted to write. Nikki knows that once the tour starts, between performances, interviews, and partying, he was going to be too busy and too out of it to get any work done so he wanted to get a head start on their next album but there was just nothing coming out of his pen onto the paper.

He’s uses his foot on the ground to swing himself back and forth in his chair as he smokes, he wants to put some music on, the house far too quiet for his kind of mind to be comfortable in but he doesn’t like listening to other people’s music when he’s trying to write. His eyes move over the pictures, the sound equipment and speakers lazily before they land on a box of books next to his bass. He’d been meaning to get a bookshelf or something to house them but he’d been simultaneously too busy and too lazy to do it yet.

On the top sat a black leather bound book, it was fairly thick, it’s pages worn from age but it was the cover that always caught Nikki’s attention whenever he saw it, silver embossed into the leather in the shape of the pentagram. He had been staring at the cover of this very book when he had decided that this was going to be the symbol for their newest album cover, and with that, came a whole concept. A friend had actually picked it up for him while he was in New Orleans, the fellow musician had thrown it at him when he had gotten back, telling Nikki that he knew the bassist was into freaky shit like this and it had looked cool.

Nikki had laughed at the time, thrown something right back at him but he kept the thing. To date though, he had never opened it.

Suddenly he was moving out of his seat and walking to the box, picking the book up without thinking about it and sitting back down. The leather was soft in his hands and as he sets it on the desk in front of him, he thinks fuck it, he may as well actually look through it, it’s not like he was getting any work done anyway.

Nikki doesn’t believe in God or the Devil, not necessarily. He believes that people can be angels or demons but doesn’t actually think those entities exist but he is extremely interested in the stories surrounding them all. Still, he does feel a peculiar energy wash over him as he flips the book open.

“Superstitious bitch.” Nikki chuckles to himself as he turns the pages.

The writing is in an ink that’s dark red, almost black, but Nikki can see the difference in the color tone and the language is something he’s never seen before. He can’t read it, but it’s beautiful to look at and the symbols are captivating his attention as he continues to turn the pages.

One symbol in particular has him pausing in his page turning, his mind filling with an idea of painting symbols from this book all over their stage for the tour and he grins as he picks up his pen and copies the symbol down in his journal.

From there he flips through the book with more purpose, copying his favorite symbols down to show the rest of the band and choose which ones to use. He’s not sure he’s doing them any justice, but he tries to be as thorough and accurate as possible. Another smile tugs at his lips as he thinks about how incredible it’s going to look and how freaked out the label is going to be when they see it.

The next symbol he copies is more difficult than the others, but when he sees it, he feels drawn to it immediately. He can see it so perfectly in his head, the beautiful circle symbol with it’s flowing script around the edges and intricate shapes in the center will be painted in bright red on their black stage right in the middle of all of them.

He’s just finishing copying the symbol down, making the last mark when he feels a strong rush of wind flow through the room and he looks up in shock at the strength of it, papers from his desk flying around and the pages of the book fluttering and he’s confused when he sees the window is still closed and even more confused when the lights shut off. He strides through the papers in the air to start feeling around the edges of the window but he can’t feel any air flowing through and he’s truly starting to freak out a little bit, heart pounding as his eyes flicker around trying to find the source, when the wind all of a sudden dies down and the lights flicker back on.  

The papers fall to the ground and the desk and he watches them in disbelief for a second before he’s tearing out of the room and checking all of the windows in the living room and the kitchen. They’re all closed and he even goes as far to check the air conditioning but it’s shut off and he stands there, arm against the wall as he tries to reason away just what the hell happened.

He shakes his head and tells himself it was just a phantom draft from somewhere in the house. It’s an old house, one of the reasons Nikki bought it was because it had an old world charm to it, it wasn’t a new, perfectly manufactured thing but now he’s starting to see the drawbacks.

He makes his way back to his studio, glances at the book, surprisingly still open to the page of that circular symbol he was copying down and shakes his head as a shiver works its way down his spine. He doesn’t believe in magic and demons and witchcraft, and the book has nothing to do with what just happened. At least, that’s what he tells himself as he closes the book and grabs the bottle of Jack from the edge of the desk and leaves the room, turning the lights out behind him as he makes his way to his bedroom.

Nikki takes a large gulp from the bottle, still trying to calm his rattled nerves and reaches out a hand to flip the switch for the lights in his room but when he does, no light turns on.

Nikki fiddles with the switch and curses the faulty electricity in the old house when another single gust of wind blows through the room and causes Nikki to look up. The lights are off but the moonlight spilling into the rest of the house lets him see okay and even if it were pitch black he would still be able to make out the glowing red eyes staring at him from the direction of the bed.

Nikki drops the bottle of liquor in his hands in surprise at the figure laying across his bed, the bottle bouncing off the floor and soaking the carpet beneath his feet.

“Who the fuck are you?” Nikki calls out angrily. He doesn’t know if it’s some crazed fan with strange contacts or a joke being played on him by Vince and Sammy but he’s not in the mood to be messed with right now.

But all he gets in the face of his anger is a breathy laugh that makes goosebumps pop up along his skin, jumping when the never used fireplace on the wall next to him suddenly roars to life, lighting the room in flickering warm light and Nikki almost audibly gasps when he sees the person draped on his side on his bed.

The figure is most definitely a male, and if Nikki were just looking at the bare mile long legs crossed over each other, Nikki would have no question that they were just human but as his eyes slide up over lean thighs and the short leather shorts that hug the slight curve of the being’s hips, Nikki spots a long thin appendage ending with an arrowhead tip flicking back and forth lazily over his legs and he instinctually knows it’s a tail.

If he had any other doubts that this was some sort of inhuman creature, the clawed hands certainly washed them away. His slender torso was bare and Nikki followed the long lines of the creature’s body to a long neck and a pretty face, full red lips, high cheekbones, straight nose and big brown eyes lined black, all surrounded by long curly black hair. The two small fangs that peek out from under the thing’s lip as he smiles and the two small black horns that are nestled in his hair further confirm that whatever this admittedly beautiful thing is, it certainly wasn’t human.

The being is propping his head up with one arm, his other hand tracing patterns on his own hip as he watches Nikki with a gleam in his eyes that looks like pure sin to Nikki and makes a sudden wave of heat wash through him. The bassist feels confused when a haziness starts to settle over him, his pants feeling tight as he stares at the creature and his own arousal shocks him because who the fuck is confronted with something like this and gets aroused and not scared?

“Who, who the fuck are you?” He repeats the question, trying to sound as angry as the first time but his voice comes out low and husky and it makes the creature on his bed outright giggle at him and Nikki shouldn’t find that sound cute but he does and what the fuck is happening to him right now?

The thing shifts in position, climbing up on his hands and knees facing Nikki before finally speaking, “You should know, you summoned me, didn’t you mortal?”

Confusion hits him again, but Nikki can’t respond because right at that moment, the creature is jumping clear across the space between them and Nikki catches him out of instinct, those long legs wrapping around his waist and clawed hands sinking into his hair to tilt his face up.

“Now, let’s have some fun.”

#motley crue fanfic #tommy lee #nikki sixx #tommy/nikki #terrorcest #shout at the devil fic by stellalux #i can't believe im trying to write a multichap #send help please #i'm obviously off my rocker

[rosesisupposes]

"They'll try to lure you with pretty songs and sweet words. If you value your life, do NOT listen."

This took forever, I’m so sorry. This is my first attempt at actually writing a fae story! Particular thank you to @mariniacipher​ and @potestessemagishomosexualitatis​ for help with Sneky Boi

Little Songs

relationships: Royality; Roceit; possible pre-Royaliceit

word count: 3,038

read on ao3

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Roman King always has a song in his mind. Always. He wakes humming, he sings arias in the shower, he serenades the kitchen and its occupants as he makes breakfast. If he isn’t singing, he’s listening to music, the beats and rhythms and words flowing through his veins, as vital and ever-present as his blood. Sometimes it’s Disney ballads, sometimes pop songs he can’t get out of his head, and frequently it’s show tunes from the latest production to open on Broadway. And sometimes it’s little songs that his boyfriend doesn’t quite recognize but loves all the same.

So it is not a surprise when Patton Amhrán hears Roman making his way to the kitchen and the tune he’s humming is one Pat has never heard before. He thinks almost nothing of it. He just hums in response as Roman loops his arms around his waist from behind and rests his chin on Patton’s shoulder.

“Good morning, honeybear,” he purrs, still barely awake.

“Good morning, sweetie,” Patton responds, continuing to fry eggs. “You’re up early for a weekend.”

“I woke up with an idea!” Roman replies, grinning. “Since my rehearsals don’t start until Monday, we have all of tomorrow free, and it’s supposed to be so nice out- let’s go on a hike!”

Sliding eggs onto a plate, Patton grins. “Ooh, we could be outdoorsy! That sounds wonderful. Where would you like to go?”

“Rowanberry Woods is just outside town, how about there?”

Patton freezes, turning slightly to see Roman’s expression. The actor’s face is open and happy, completely unperturbed. “Cupcake, why there?”

Roman shrugs. “I’ve just heard so much about it. Everyone around town talks about it so much.”

“Well, that’s true, but that’s because we’re mostly locals. So we all know about it, quite well.”

Roman starts humming again, catching Patton’s hand and pulling him into slow waltz around around the kitchen table, ignoring the freshly-prepared breakfast. “My ginger-peachy love, what is there to know?”

Patton can’t help smiling, so besotted is he with this wonderful man he has the fortune to be in love with. In the morning light that slides into their window from pearly-grey clouds, there’s already a firecracker energy in Roman’s dark eyes. But there are other concerns at the moment.

“It’s a sensitive forest, a chroí.”

“Sensitive?”

Patton shrugs. “The trees are… touchy. And the clearings aren’t much better.”

Roman grins. “Oh my god, Pat, are you talking about fairies? Lo said this would happen!”

Patton grimaces. “I know, I know, the fae aren’t real, Logan has explained their impossibility many times. And yet, everytime someone treats the woods in a less-than-respectful way, it goes badly for them.”

Roman keeps dancing Patton around, shifting from waltz to a calmer sway so that he can kiss his boyfriend’s cheek. “Then we won’t offend the trees, sweetie-pie. I just want to see it! And there’s supposed to a view of the whole valley from the hill.”

Patton feels his knees go just a little quivery at the kiss, just like they always do. Roman’s just so pretty and wonderful and Patton is absolutely infatuated. And now Roman is staring at him with those big brown eyes and how can Patton do anything other than agree?

He makes the mistake of mentioning their plans to Virgil, who’s just as native as Pat. Yes, the other man is more frequently subjected to his boyfriend’s skepticism now that they’ve moved in together, but Virgil waits until Logan is in the washroom to give Roman a warning.

“I know you Americans think you’re too progressive to be affected, but listen to me. The fae folk are very much real, and very clever. They’ll try to lure you with pretty songs and sweet words. If you value your life, do NOT listen.”

Roman rolls his eyes and scoffs, but he’s still humming, tapping a beat on Patton’s waist as they lean against the counter in Virgil and Logan’s kitchen for family dinner night. “How could anything distract me, Tall, Dark, and Spooky?” he asks, a bravado-filled grin flashing out against his dark skin. “I’m in love with the prettiest song the world could have given me.”

“The prettiest song?” Virgil asks.

“I’ve been learning just enough Irish to know what Patton’s last name means,” Roman says, more than a little proud. He caresses Pat’s face, grinning with his own achievement and adoration in equal measures. Patton blushes, leaning into his partner to kiss his cheek, too distracted by that beautiful smile to wonder why the steady tap-tap-tapping of Roman’s long fingers hasn’t stopped for hours.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The next morning is bright, comfortably warm and relatively dry, but fluffy grey clouds cover the sky. Roman is practically skipping as he and Patton climb the hill through the lush woods. They stick dutifully to the path, but Roman has far too much energy to walk slowly. He walks ahead to take pictures of flowers and leaves, then comes back to carry the picnic hamper and let Pat walk unburdened, gets distracted by birds flying overhead, and gets even more distracted by pulling his boyfriend close to kiss him softly and sweetly.

Somehow they manage to get to the top of the hill, setting up the picnic they brought. Patton relaxes, enjoying the nice weather and the view - it really is lovely. He can see his hometown and the neighboring towns, too, and the white dots of sheep up and down the hills. It’s a warm green bowl, brimming with familiarity and life.

Roman takes a couple of selfies with the view, then plops down next to Pat to capture them both, kissing his boyfriend’s cheek as the phone clicks. Patton smiles, and pulls Roman closer to connect their lips, and then again, and again, and Roman’s phone is set aside as both men are thoroughly distracted by each other.

Parting, Roman is panting just the slightest bit, and Patton is no better off. They smile at each other, glowing, and Patton caresses Roman’s cheek.

“If you stand on that rock there, you’ll get the best view.”

“But the best view is right here,” Roman responds, turning his head to kiss Patton’s hand. A blush spreads across his boyfriend’s pale cheeks, and he smirks. “I’ll go check it out though. Maybe it manages to be half as breathtaking as you.”

“Stay on the path, okay?”

“Yes, dear,” Roman drawls, already walking away.

Patton reclines on the picnic blanket. It really is so lovely here- why doesn’t he do this more? Is it just the trap of living so close all the time that he can never make a special occasion out of local attractions? One of the many wonderful perks of dating Roman has been having a newcomer to show around, so that every occasion becomes special. He hopes the view is all Roman was hoping for. Glancing down, he grimaces. Roman’s phone is still on the blanket.

“Sugarpie, did you want your phone for pictures?” he calls.

There’s no response. He looks up to see his love just short of the wide, flat-topped rock he’d pointed out. Roman doesn’t seem to be able to hear him- or to move. Patton looks down and blanches. Both Roman’s feet are solidly planted within a circle of tiny white mushrooms.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Wonderful view, is it not?”

Roman turns to see a man smiling fondly at the valley below.

“It is. Sorry, didn’t mean to intrude- I didn’t realize anyone else was up here.”

“What intrusion? I’m always here,” the man says, turning to smile directly at Roman. Roman gulps, hoping it’s not audible. He’s no longer sure they’re a man- he’s never seen any man or otherwise who was this beautiful. Smooth, porcelain-white skin is interrupted by a gorgeous mottling of golden spots that loop around their face. Hair so bright it appears to burn even in the clouded sunlight flys up in bright reds and oranges above a smooth-skinned face. But their eyes are what catches Roman’s gaze. They are green, so green the color is redefined by their existence. All the richness of summer leaves, the soft glow of moss, the bright energy of springtime buds- all these hues must have been inspired by the sparkling emeralds that stare back at him.

“Are you staring?” they ask, a smile spreading across their lips.

“Forgive me,” Roman says with a courtly little bow, playing up his theatrical nature. “It’s not often I encounter such beautiful creatures as yourself.”

“Charming, aren’t you,” they laugh. Roman chuckles as well, and turns as they do to face the view again.

After a moment, a tune starts to dance along the breeze. It’s lovely and soft and old, and the harmonies wind together in gentle concert. Roman is humming along before he consciously notes the presence of the song. Still humming, he turns, and realizes that this lovely being is the one singing, harmonizing with themself. The minute the question appears in his mind of how that is possible, it is overshadowed by the realization that this is the song he’s had stuck in his head for days now, the one he hasn’t been able to place, the one he has no memory of learning until the day he couldn’t stop singing it.

Now, he starts singing the higher melody, and the other stops singing both parts to harmonize directly with him, stepping slightly closer as their words and sounds wind together. Those green eyes are staring at him, and he will do anything to keep their attention, to keep studying the sparkles and shades. But his mind feels more and more clear, and the strange, itching restlessness of the past week melts away. Together, the song rises and falls until they slow to a finish on a last sweet note.

“Thank you for joining me, dear one,” the other says with a smile. “May I be graced with your name?”

Roman blinks, and says, “My friend keeps calling me Princey. You can too, if you want.”

Lips as pink and soft as sweet pea blossoms stretch into a grin. “Your friend is very wise to recognize such royalty. You may call me Dee, if you’d like. Are you from here, beautiful Prince?”

“No, I’m from across the pond,” Roman says. Dee is still staring, almost unblinking, and with the endearments, it is making Roman flush. He blesses his dark skin for hiding his blushes as the other tilts his head in curiosity.

“America? How dashing,” Dee murmurs. “And yet you smell like Eire, and you’ve learned our amhrán.”

Roman suddenly starts, reminded of his boyfriend. He turns, only to see Dee is standing very, very close to him. “Wait, where am I? Am I still on the hilltop?”

“Where else would you be, álainn?”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Patton panics for a solid minute as he tries to get his boyfriend’s attention, but the faerie circle has him caught entirely. Patton’s breath comes faster and faster and his heart is beating out of his chest - is Roman okay? Is he hurt? Is he stuck forever?

“Calm, Patton,” he tells himself. “Breathe. In and out. I can do more once I can breathe. In for four, hold for seven, out for eight. Just like I tell Virgil.”

He breaths, slowly, bringing his galloping heart back in line. Wait, that’s it! Virgil!

He grabs his backpack, rifling through for the emergency pack Virgil tossed in years ago. Wedged into a corner at the bottom, he finds it: iron, rowanberries, and a smooth stone with a hole worn through it. Patton braces himself, slipping the rest of the packet in his pocket, and looks through the hole of the stone. There’s Roman, appearing as normal… and there’s someone else, tall and bright. But Patton still can’t hear them.

Throwing caution to the winds, Patton strides over to grab Roman’s hand, and sound comes roaring back.

“Oh, Princey, you brought a friend?” Deceit purrs, turning to face the newcomer to the circle. “How did you know I love meeting locals from down in the valley?”

“Dearest, you know who that is, right?” Pat whispers frantically, squeezing Roman’s hand tight.

“They call themself Dee,” Roman whispers back. His tone is reverent as he watches Dee stroke a golden hand through their hair. “Aren’t they beautiful?”

“This is why Rowanberry Wood is so dangerous, sugarplum!”

“This forest’s name isn’t properly Rowanberry, did you know? Rude, isn’t it? Calling our home by the name of a plant that keeps us away from you?

“What is its true name?” Roman asks

“Would you believe me if I said Eden?”

“As much as I believe your name is truly Dee,” Patton interjects.

“Clever boy,” the fae says, trailing a smooth finger along Patton’s jawline. Despite his fear, Patton feels a shivery tingling sensation run down his spine. It must be a glamour, but this creature is undeniably beautiful. “Just for that, you may call me Deceit, instead.”

“Is that a title, or a warning?”

“Prince, why is your paramour so rude?” Deceit pouts at Roman. “And he hasn’t even introduced himself, what manners are these?”

“You may call me Morality,” Patton interjects. “You know. The thing that reminds you of right and wrong. And tells you that the right thing to do is leave this circle,” he says fiercely, tugging his boyfriend’s hand.

“Morality,” Deceit says thoughtfully, rolling the name on his tongue. “You’re local, dearheart, aren’t you?”

“Yes, I’m from around here,” Patton responds stiffly. “And I know enough about this forest and you to not fall for your tricks or misdirections.”

“You think that of me? I’m hurt,” the fae responds, splaying a perfect white-and-gold hand across their chest. “Why would I wish to trick you, when I only want your company?”

“Honeyblossom, can’t we stay a bit longer?” Roman asks, still staring at the fae’s bright eyes and hair.

“Dearest, it’s all an illusion,” Patton says softly. “They’ve got a glamour on, to seem more human. They’re not like us.”

“I only wished to avoid alarming you, but I can remove it if you want,” Deceit says with a shrug. They gesture, and the air around them quivers like hot sand in the sun, rippling and resolving back into full detail.

And what detail it is. Their skin remains porcelain-smooth and white, but the gold disruption shows itself to be shining, golden scales, patterned down their face and trailing down their chest. It’s topped not by bright orange hair, as it appeared, but sheets of fire, rippling waves growing from their skull and flickering up into the sky. Their soft fingers are tipped in golden claws.

With the vanishing of the glamour, the illusion of regular clothes have also disappeared. Roman and Patton can now both see, very clearly, that the golden scales trailing all the way down the fae’s body, following their curves, and leading their eyes straight to the only covering the fae has: a strange, leaflike gauze that covers only the area where torso meets legs. Patton may be the only of the two who is obviously blushing, but Roman’s wide eyes speak volumes in themselves.

“I hope I haven’t scared you, my lovelies?” Deceit asks. The shape of their face has morphed, become higher-browed, but that’s not enough to conceal their smirk.

Patton recovers first. “No, you haven’t. And we’re still going to be leaving now, right love?”

A sharp elbow in his side shakes Roman free of his stunned state. “Um. Yes, dear. We’ll do that. We will… stop looking at them.”

Deceit laughs, and it sounds like sparrows tweeting and the harsh bray of crows. “Dear Morality, you know I can taste lies in the air. Your Prince has no desire to depart.”

“R- Prince. Please, just come with me, okay?” Patton murmurs into Roman’s ear. “We need to go.”

“What’s the risk, love?” Roman asks. “It’s an adventure, a new discovery! I can’t wait to tell the nerd.”

“Please,” Patton begs. “I’m… uncomfortable, sweetheart. My feet are outside the circle, let me pull you out, okay?”

Roman hesitates.

His eyes linger on Deceit. They’re clearly inhuman now, but still beautiful. And their eyes are deep and dark, like staring into the tree canopy at the peak of summer. They sparkle like a pirate’s hoard and Roman wants nothing more than to learn the secrets he’s sure the fae could teach him.

But with a force of will he turns his head back to Patton. Dearest, beloved Patton. Who is even more pale than normal, his freckles standing out like paint on his cheeks. Whose hands are warm where they’re holding his. “Okay,” he whispers. But he makes eye contact with the fae once more as he’s tugged back to the hilltop.

Patton keeps tugging him until they’re back at their picnic blanket, and then down the hill once more, sticking to the trail. Patton presses a piece of iron into Roman’s fist, and holds tight to his own in the hand that’s not clasped fast with Roman’s. Patton gets them out of the wood as fast as he possibly can, heart still pounding over their near escape.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

At the top of the hill, from within the circle, the fae known as Deceit watches them go. They’re disappointed - they’d hoped to be able to talk to them further. The prince tastes of far-off lands, baked warm by a more-present sun. And Morality, a local, with all of that wise caution the humans used to grind into their children. The fae court could never hope to compare to the delightful intrigue of humanity.

But they have a consolation for how quickly these young men left them. They lift their hands, grinning, at the tiny twist of hair wrapped around their finger. Morality didn’t show up quite fast enough to prevent Prince from freely giving them a piece of that gorgeous, dark, rough hair. They’d not charmed him or bewitched him in any way. The minute the young man had started to sing along, they’d dropped even the beacon spell they’d sent out into the world, the one that had apparently caught the Prince in the first place.

They absolutely must see their Prince again, and his Morality too. That much is certain.

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#fae au #Roses Writes Fanfic #royality #roceit #rodecality #ts deceit #Irish Patton #Black Roman #Fae Deceit #prompt writing #prompt fill #hey nonny nonny #i'm not taking more fae prompts but i'd do others! #royaliceit