#yeah i know it's a stupid and silly question and i'm not putting myself down i promise

[altraviolet]

so im neck deep in reading echo garden - hi, hope ur doing well, holy hell what is this beautiful piece of writing and worldbuilding omg? i originally wanted to ask you something like; 'what's your inspiration for your worldbuilding, what ideas did you come up with, pull/build from etc'

..but instead i wanna try and ask you a different question/for advice, if that's okay? (your writing went and gave me a mild crisis, congrats you've reached peak 'make-ppl-feel-things-thru-writing' skillz. :}) how do you even 'do' worldbuilding? because i'm doubting myself, reading your story lol. i know the whole.. 'we get inspiration from literally everything around us', 'there's no such thing as a truly original idea' etc,

but i'm just now breaking free of the thought that i have to.. produce something big and unique and grandiose? (for others? it's a weird attention-y 'ey look what i made' thing.) like, honestly, i fell in love with your worldbuilding but feel.. envious? like, 'oh, damn, i wish i was this good.' which, yeah, I KNOW is silly.

I don't know.. how to worldbuild/craft (whatever term) something that feels like mine? I keep comparing to others, and keep feeling like whatever bits and pieces come to me isn't good enough. Isn't unique/cool/giant/'oh-so-new-&-different' enough. like I have to somehow reach that impossible 'true original idea', without using any inspiration at all (otherwise it's not 'mine') - when everything's already been thought of before by countless people.

I'm sitting here in a really weird, silly, downright stupid at this point, circular loop and I don't know how to get out of it. I think not understanding what worldbuilding is, or how it works or even how having ideas works, might be why I've screwed myself here? And the internet's weird.. impossible standard for idea-having.

I have tiny pieces, the barest little foundations, I just don't know how to grow them into.. something, anything. (is maybe the thought that I ought to grow them in the first place one of the reasons I'm having trouble? and it's.. okay to not? that just because they're tiny, or simple, or mundane, doesn't mean they're worth less than 'bigger & better' chunks of ideas/worldbuilding?)

Hi! I'm doing okay, thanks. Vacation could be structured more to my liking, but family & obligation something something.

Anyway. Thanks! I'm glad you're enjoying Echo Garden. Especially the worldbuilding, which is one of my favorite things to do. It seems like you're feeling a lot of mixed and heavy things about it. I don't know if I'm any authority to help you with that, but I'll give it a shot. Let's go through what you've sent me, albeit out of order. I'mma put this behind a cut, because it got very long.

>what is this beautiful piece of writing and worldbuilding omg? Thank you! I appreciate that. Here I would like to stress that this writing has taken me almost 4 years and hundreds and hundreds of hours, and hundreds of thousands of words to accomplish. If you think it is beautiful, I am happy to hear that! I will be honest: I am very proud of what I've done. But what I'm stressing here is that it was not effortless. It is beautiful, but it has taken a lot of work.

>i fell in love with your worldbuilding but feel.. envious? like, 'oh, damn, i wish i was this good.' which, yeah, I KNOW is silly. No, that's not silly. That's legit. Envy or jealousy are totally normal things to feel in any given situation. If the situations were reversed, I'd feel the same way. When I see people who have things or skills I wish I had, I feel it. This might be a good time to drop a little story about when I first thought about writing TF fic. Please do me a favor and go read this ask, you can skip down to the bold words that say NOTE THE WARNINGS AND TAGS BEFORE READING. Here I talk about how I didn't write for a year because I read a fic so good I knew I could never be that good.

tl;dr and/or moral: it's ok and natural to feel envious. Don't let it stop you from writing, though. If I had let TGWP stop me from writing, you'd never have Echo Garden. That'd be a shame, I think. I'm glad I decided to try writing, even though I knew I couldn't do something as good as what I admired. I did something else.

>how do you even 'do' worldbuilding? because i'm doubting myself, reading your story lol. i know the whole.. 'we get inspiration from literally everything around us', 'there's no such thing as a truly original idea' etc, I'll come back to your first question eventually, but I wanna address the latter statements: "We get inspiration from everything around us," yes, this is true. Being a sponge, being observant of the world, will help you build a 'library' of ideas. Artists have a term for this that escapes me at the moment, but the idea is, if an artist draws 1000 trees, and within those, 50 different kinds of trees, they now have an excellent mental tree 'library' to reference when they need to draw a tree. And since it's super easy to find irl references of trees, one might ask, what's the use of the mental library? It gives the artist the basics and a ton of variations on The Concept of a Tree. In a similar way, observing the world, reading stories, listening to music, absorbing creative works, etc will also add to your mental library. You can call on these things when worldbuilding later. Quick example: if you know the ins and outs of a hospital, because you're a nurse, you'll have a fantastic basis for a realistically operating sci fi hospital on another world. Take a concept relating to the hospital, as we know it on Earth, and change it. What if patients can regrow internal organs but not limbs? See what that does to the organization of the hospital. The staff, the pharmacy, the stock, the medical supplies. What changes? Organ donors aren't needed anymore. Would this mean an actual reduction in the species's understanding of how those organs work? An irl nurse won't have to do a ton of research to get the basics which are drawn upon to answer those questions.

This line of questioning took me to something I want to expand upon later, but for now: What kind of cultural issues could arise from this species's healing ability? Is someone who was forced to grow a new liver due to an accident "less than" someone who has their original liver? Hold onto the fact that we just went from hospital -> biology -> culture. "There's no such thing as a truly original idea," I disagree with this statement, though I know it is a very, very popular one. I think it is true that plots and archetypes are commonly used over and over again. I think there are still original ideas out there, though. I pride myself on it, to be honest. Some of the worldbuilding you like so much comes from ideas that I've not seen in either TF canon or fanon. They tend to be smaller details that feed into bigger systems, once you take them to their logical endpoints. More on that later.

>I keep comparing to others, and keep feeling like whatever bits and pieces come to me isn't good enough. Isn't unique/cool/giant/'oh-so-new-&-different' enough.

All I can say here is that comparison is the thief of joy. If we're talking strictly fanfic, it shouldn't be this stressful on you. People love tropes for a reason. Don't be afraid to use them. Echo Garden itself has a few. "Enemies to lovers" never quite felt like the correct term, but it is recognizable and there are tons of fans of it. Remember the thing about me not writing for a year cuz I thought I wasn't good enough. Don't do that. Comparison is the thief of joy! >like I have to somehow reach that impossible 'true original idea', without using any inspiration at all (otherwise it's not 'mine') - when everything's already been thought of before by countless people.

Again, I do think there are truly original ideas still out there. You have a unique view of the world. Writing is one way to share it. All your experiences, your education, your hardships and your victories shape who you are. No one else will be looking out the same eyeballs. With practice, you can find ideas. I'll explain how I do it. Maybe that will help you, too. Though you do have, by your own words, little pieces: I have tiny pieces, the barest little foundations, I just don't know how to grow them into.. something, anything. Little pieces are a good place to start. And if they stay little, that's fine. Having a ton of little pieces layered on top of each other is what contributes richness to your world.

My goal with all the above was to address the emotional aspect of your ask. I haven't gone through everything, but I'd like to get to your core question. I am going to answer it literally, in a way that might not help you, then try to break it down into something that might be helpful.

how do you even 'do' worldbuilding?

I think. All the time. I am one of those people who has a laser focus and is able to make connections between unrelated ideas. I am always, always thinking. It's not really daydreaming. It's thinking about a single idea and then taking it for a ride down a million "what if?" paths. Put it this way: I think watching astronomy lectures is fun and I loathe parties. Fun for me is world building: building literal worlds. Playing with ideas. So how do I 'do' worldbuilding? Mostly in my head. Once I get some ideas that make sense, I write them down so I don't forget them. If I'm lucky, I'm at home at my computer and can type them fast. If I'm not, I'm at work, and I scribble them on pieces of paper. It can be anything, from a huge plot point to a teeny tiny detail.

How do I think? If I'm world building from nothing (as opposed to solving a problem or building on top of previously thought of stuff), I just... think of things that fascinate me. For Transformers, that's their biology and how it links to culture. It's their alienness. The possible geology of their world. I freaking love just thinking about that!

Once you have a fascinating idea, you push it. What does that mean? Do you recall, in the nurse/hospital example above, I noted that, while we started with 'hospital setting,' it moved to how that healing factor could be interpreted in the culture of that species? That was what I mean: taking the idea of 'alien hospital' to 'what does this mean about their biology?' to 'what does this mean about their culture?' And to be honest, this is how I do a lot of world building. Culture comes from biology and geology. This is a personal theory I have, I'm sure anthropologists have a better definition of culture. But that's the one I use for worldbuilding. What is the consequence of your fascinating idea? That is the key for me. That is how I worldbuild.

If I'm worldbuilding on top of previous stuff, it's sometimes a bit harder or easier, depending on how the previous stuff narrows your possibilities. But in that case, I usually try to be as logical as possible. Here's an example for Echo Garden:

canon facts: the Lost Light has a fuel furnace and an engine room and a bridge

me: hmm, okay, the LL has utilities and facilities, kind of like a small town. someone has to tend to those things. I'm sure some mechs have specialized knowledge that makes them a better fit for maintaining/upkeeping certain things than others. We saw Blaster on the bridge acting as a communications officer of sorts. Hmm, he's probably the best bet for keeping comm-related stuff clean and running. Hmm, that fuel furnace... I bet it's really hot in there, lol. I bet it's complicated in there. They probably have to color code the pathways to the different furnaces. I bet most mechs wouldn't like being in there because it's so hot. I wonder who'd get stuck with that chore. Well... Rodimus is fireproof, basically, and Trailbreaker could protect himself with his shield. So they can do that chore.

It feels rambly when I write it out. I suppose it could be. I do this very quickly in my mind, though. I pull from everything I know: canon, fanon, things I know from my own life experiences. This 'pulling' happens all at the same time. So, going back to that 'mental library,' as you can see, that's a powerful thing for me to have for my worldbuilding method.

Okay okay, so how can I make all that into something actionable by you? Good question. I suppose I will answer it with more questions!

Precisely define what it is you want to worldbuild. Is it cultural (language, food, clothing, music, etc)? Is it biological (bodies, adaptations, appearance, etc)? Is it environmental (geology of the world, or the inside of a space ship)? What exactly do you want to accomplish?

Once you have selected your Topic, think about all the things related to that Topic. What are the usual characteristics of Topic? Which of those characteristics can you change to fit your world? Example: food in TF. Food is often energon or engex. Food in real life is a huge part of culture. If your goal is to showcase a character making a special dish, maybe pick an irl dish you like, and see how its preparation would change if it was made out of a pretty, glowy energon-y substance instead of whatever it's made of on Earth.

If you haven't worldbuilt to your satisfaction, try another avenue. What else about Topic can you think of? What are your personal experiences regarding Topic? Maybe go do some research on Topic- you might find a neat little tidbit to incorporate into your writing.

Once you've worldbuilt Topic to your satisfaction, link it to the rest of your world! What does Topic existing do to your environment? To your characters? It's okay if Topic isn't a huge deal. That's totally fine! It's lovely to just have little worldbuilding details hanging around in the background. Remember- layering lots of tiny details really helps make a world feel rich and lived in. In the event that Topic is a big deal, repeat step 2 to discover how it affects your world.

Once Topic is happily integrated into your world, repeat the process! Take breaks, listen to music. Zone out. See if your brain can make some weird connections while you're not even really thinking about it. Be open to something that sounds kinda nuts at first. Maybe there's a way to pull it off! Or maybe not.

Side note: if you think of a really cool idea but it doesn't fit into the story you're writing right now, stick it in a file for later. Mmm, delicious ideas file, ready to be cannibalized for your next story.

So... yeah! That's how I worldbuild. Thinking a LOT and connecting ideas together and then pushing them to logical extremes/conclusions.

If you have any specific questions about anything I've written, feel free to ask. I don't think my method will work for everyone, but hopefully you can put your own spin on it and find a method that works for you.

Best of luck and happy worldbuilding :)

#ask #long post #worldbuilding #world building #nyctocryptid

[sunnyie-eve]

25 | Talk about it

Series: Significant

Paring: Colby Brock x Original female character

Warnings: None

Word Count: 1.7k

| MASTERLIST |

~

It kinda seem like time flew by when everyone was out of the house on their trips except for Aaron and Penelope. Her arm was doing better but at times she wore a brace around the house to be safe. She been hanging out with Justin lately too, but for her she saw him as another friend and nothing else but he didn't get that hint.

"You what?" Penelope shouts on the phone with Janelle. "You know I said no dating and you make a double date?" She huffs while Janelle says it wasn't her idea. "I can't believe this and it's tonight?" She goes towards her closet, "I'm not gonna act like I'm happy to be there so it's whatever. And I'm driving myself." She ends the call to get ready for the stupid date.

Since she really didn't want to go, she doesn't try her best to look like she was going in a double dated. She wore light jeans with a white tank top and knit sweater.

As she leaves her room, Colby was confused about where she was going, "I'm heading out." She smiles.

"Obviously but where are you going? If you don't mind me asking."

"A double date." She says and they just look at each other.

"Oh, umm, have fun." He starts to move around.

"Thanks." She leaves making him curse at himself.

When she arrives at the resrant she see the three outside waiting for her. The whole dinner Janelle and Luke had their own conversations leaving Penelope to chat with Justin. Once dinner was over Justin pulls Penelope into a hug so to be nice she hugs him back but he gives her a kiss in the cheek.

"Justin, you do remember I'm not looking for a relationship right now right?" She brings it up as they walk to their cars.

"Well, ya." He laughs.

"So what are you trying to do?" She asks him.

"To be honest, I believe I can change your mind."

"Justin, I just want a friend right now." She gets in her car heading home.

Walking through the door she stops in her tracks seeing Colby with a hot pink wig on, "Penny! They glued this on me!" Colby shouts at her.

"Well, I told you he would mess with your hair in someway..." She says as he runs upstairs so all the guys follow him so Penelope just goes to her room to change.

She leaves her room to use the bathroom but Colby and Elton were in the bathroom so she stands waiting for them to leave.

After using the bathroom she goes to Colby's room, "Well, it makes your eyes pop more." She gives him a smile taking a seat on his bed so he just looks at her, "If it wasn't so bright... I'd dig it."

"Not helping me. This is super glued on Penelope." He gets ready to lay in bed.

"I know, you told me as soon as I walked through the door."

"How was your double date?" He asks with his back towards her so he can roll his eyes.

"Ehh, I told Justin I'm not looking for a relationship right now but he's convinced himself he can change my mind." She explains to him.

"That's bold of him." He laughs before getting in his bed while Penelope sat at the end. "Are we ever gonna talk about what happened at the hospital or just forget about it?" Colby changes the topic.

Penelope looks at him before letting out a breath, "I feel like should ask you that question since...you kissed me."

The entire energy in the room shifted as they stay silent looking at each other waiting for one of them to speak again. Yeah, it was obvious that there was secret feeling being revealed now but there wasn't any  vocal confirmation.

"I just wanna ask why?" Penelope speaks first braking the silence, "Since that night things have changed between us and how we act with each other and..." She closes her eyes putting her head down.

"I've wanted to kiss again you since the kiss to make Darwin go away. I always had a little crush on you deep down growing up but I thought it was ridiculous. That day though I knew it wasn't just a silly crush. Over the years it just developed into something more and I finally realized how much I had feelings for you. I've been driving myself crazy since then trying to make it go away because I didn't want to mess us up. But also after a scare of losing you, I couldn't help myself. The thought of losing you... I knew I loved you." He says letting it all out to her.

If he could know what was going through her head right now and how fast her heart was beating he would've thought she would have a heart attack on the spot.

"Love me... Colby, you have no idea how hard it was to force myself to forget about my feelings for you. No matter how much I shoved them so far down they were always there to remind me. I never wanted to admit because I didn't want to lose you. The amount of times I've had to tell people that. Plus I never thought I was your type. But I understand how you felt wanting to kiss again after the first one." She tells him everything too.

"Now what?" He chuckles.

"Tell me what you want." She smiles a bit.

"I want to kiss you again and only you. I want something with you. I don't care about what the future holds for us if it's good or bad. It's right now and I want us to be best friends who are in love with each other and want more." He says so she moves over to kiss him.

"I want the same thing." She smiles making him kiss her again, "But do you know how hard it is to take you serious with this wig." She giggles making him moves away from her.

"You ruined the mood."

"I know, I'm sorry." She gets up to go to her room to get some rest.

"Hey, a kiss goodnight?" He watches her walk to the door.

"You said I ruined the mood." She laughs as he gets up pulling her into a kiss.

"Another question, do we tell the house or do we keep it a secret? I think it would be fun." He rests his forehead on hers.

"Let's see how long we can. I do know we aren't making it public for a long time. I'm not ready for what's gonna come from the news." She tells him.

"I completely agree. Night, love you." He kisses her once again.

"Love you too, Colby." She smiles going to her room super happy.

The next morning Penelope wakes up getting dressed for the day lazy since she had no plans and didn't plan on making any either. Leaving her room she hears the guys laughing about Colby as she heads downstairs.

"What's so funny?" She asks Elton.

"Look at what your best friend is wearing. Come on out Colby. Let Penny see you." He laughs harder.

"This is embarrassing." Colby whines coming out making her let out a giggle.

"Not bad." She laughs going to the kitchen to get a drink and find something to eat while they head outside.

Coming back inside Penelope just listens to them from the other room while she eats. "Penny, your buddy has a date tonight with a worker next door." Corey tells her making her laugh more.

"Look at you, boy." She finishes up eating while they head outside to get his wig off. At the same time Sam and Kat show up and Sam was confused how the whole outfit came into play.

"You're checking out Colby." Katrina whispers in to Penelope.

"Because I'm looking at him?" She laughs.

"You like what you see though."

Penelope just rolls her eyes going upstairs to go back to sleep wanting to take a nap, but as soon as she starts to fall asleep Colby walks into her room.

"Leave me alone. I want a nap." She whines pulling her blanket over her head.

"You just woke up." Colby pulls the blanket off of her.

"So what? I'm still tired and I don't plan on doing anything today so let me go back to sleep." She takes her blanket back.

"But I want to spend time with you until I leave for my shoot."

"Oh, well." She gets comfortable again.

Colby smiles to him before crawling onto her bed lying next to her pulling her back into his chest, "Her lips, her lips. I could kiss them all day if she let me." Colby whisper sings next to her ear causing her to shake her head at him.

"We haven't even been a couple for a whole day yet, Colby."

"We've basically known each other for 19/18 years, Penelope. I don't think it matters." He continues to talk in a low quiet voice next to her ear before placing his lips on her neck making squirm, "Are you sensitive there?" He chuckles.

"Yes, that's why I've never had a hickey there in my life." She scoots away from him only for him to pull her back to him to lightly kiss her neck, "Colby stop it." She whines.

"No, it's cute." He continues while she tries her best not to whine or squirm, "Good girl." He whispers and she can't help but giggle at that.

"Good girl?" She moves to look at him, "You really are that type of guy?" She giggles more.

"So what if I am?" He props himself up over her smiling, "Does that's make you nervous or feel a certain way?" Penelope doesn't say anything so she just smiles pulling him down into a kiss.

"I'm scared, Colby." She pulls out of the kiss.

"Scared about what?" He tilts his head.

"For whenever we do make us public... When you're with girls fans automatically ship you with them or hate on them. I've never been once shipped with you so when the truth comes out, I'm gonna get so much more hate." Penelope lets out a sigh, "It's gonna be hard for me and how insecure I get easily."

"Hey, hey, I know but you don't need to let it bother you because you know the truth how I feel about you. Fuck what others think because I love you."

#sam and colby #colby brock #sam golbach #katrina stuart #jake webber #corey scherer #elton castee #tara yummy #colby brock imagine #colby brock ff #colby brock fanfic #best friend #friends to lovers #tfil

[biscaanii]

I wanted to start off by saying, I love your work. I finished Achilles Come Down months ago and can’t stop re-reading.

I know this is probably a silly question to ask but how did you learn how to write so well? You’re writing so beautiful and I would love any tips. ( If you would like to share of course)

Thank you

Hi! Aw, thank you. Im glad you like it :)

Short answer: write and read a lot. Like a loooot.

Long answer: I grew up reading as a kid to the point my mom would unscrew the lightbulb in my closet because she'd catch me reading late at night in it. It was my main hobby, so I learned a lot of literary basics really young just by the principle of seeing them in action a lot. I discovered fanon spaces around 6th grade, which was when I started to write actual stories, so what you're looking at is pretty much the process of 11 years of experience.

The best advice I can give you is just write. Put down any idea you want to see regardless of if it's long or short. I learned because I did, you know? The main reason I was able to finish Achilles when I was 18 was because the year prior during lockdown, I'd tried writing a 100k long fic for the first time that to this day is still a fucking mess. It was a forever failure, yeah, but it also taught me all the skills I needed to actually finish my next long fic- Achilles. (And Redemption).

In my opinion, getting really good at writing is really just getting good at understanding your specific quirks. Off the top of my head example, but I write in present tense pretty much exclusively, because it's the same as my natural flow of thought. Trying to write in past participle or past present is difficult for me to do in large or quick quantities because it misaligns to how I'm thinking in the moment. Figure out what kind of language you like to use- prose? Quick and to the point? Some weird in between? Do you like to over-use dialogue tags? Under-use them? What do you like to write about? Who do you like to write about? Are you exploring a character's emotional arc, a physical arc, something else? These types of question are what will guide your story because they're the foundation of why and how your story is happening, and through what means it will happen. Are you writing a romance or a thriller? What will give the reader a better picture, the internal thoughts of a character or the external imagery of their enviornment/actions? What's most important to the story's resolution? To the character's resolution? What will make this story satisfying? How can you tie all your plotlines together to reach a consistent and sensible conclusion?

And most importantly, what do you specifically want to get out of your writing? If you're only writing so others can validate your work, it'll be more difficult to continue writing if you've got low engagement. Also, cringe is dead. It's stupid to feel self-concious about anything you're writing, because that feeling will hold you back. Write whatever ideas you want because you want to see them, not necessarily because others will read it and judge you. It's not like you ever have to show it to anyone.

I write what I want, when I want, and how I want it. It's 100% self-indulgent and because of that, I'm writing mainly to read it back to myself, which makes it fun because I'm getting exactly what I want to see out of the story both as it forms and then once it's put to paper. I'm also a total anomaly though because my only hobby is writing, so my weekends are pretty much spent sat on google docs from like, morning until midnight. The fact that I've churned out three long fics so quickly is an outlier and should not be counted because im a gremlin with nothing else to do.

#ask post #acd #hi its me again #the fact that yall keep finding my tumblr always makes me laugh bc im a hermit on a good day #writing

[daisychainsandbowties]

I'm sorry if my question made you feel that way, it wasn't my intention.

you know i never mind talking about why i find certain character dynamics compelling or interesting!!

and much is lost in translation when the anon sunglasses emoji comes into play but um, i think my feelings this time come from just having seen a… disheartening degree of negativity around what is a brand new thing, something we don’t have all the material for yet - and in any case a pairing between two characters i have love for individually and not simply through my shipping goggles (sexy as i know i look in those).

and there’s a reason i made a separate post instead of answering an anon - because i was just made aware of a feeling i’ve had forever about sapphic ships. i tell everybody how i didn’t believe avatrice would happen until they literally kissed in front of me (and yes, that’s very beatrice of me 😂). live slug reaction was me crying for an hour and yes that’s funny and YES, it makes me sad.

because it’s still so astonishing to me, and part of queer survival has (sadly) always been a matter of separating that hope from how i engage in things like shipping.

i’m very fascinated by shipping actually from a technical perspective! (i write at doctoral level about T4T and touch a great deal on this form of queer community, knowing that it helped me to survive when i should have been squashed by the machine that seeks to kill things like me before we get to be adults)

i don’t mind talking about why a ship just works for me; not many things can make me pick up my pen (if not for avatrice i wouldn’t be sharing my writing on here at all, and indeed i would be writing a lot less if not for the wonderful people who actually read it 🥰🥰) and so i usually have things galore to say about characters and why they work for me, but i like to discuss things in what i call “good faith” and that usually means that i don’t answer things that i feel i could respond to rudely or in a way that’s hurtful.

simply put it’s not what this is to me. um, not to drag out that Malatino quote again but i’m gonna because it’s everything

(Hil Malatino. “Future Fatigue.” Transgender Studies Quarterly, pp. 656.)

so, yeah! it’s all about witnessing, being with my friends not in a manner that precludes the acknowledgment of difficulty but one that is, at least, centred around love, seeing and being seen. i know it’s hard to express tone in that grey anon box, but in a sense it’s an old hurt to me; most of my work in fandom turning into justifying the fact of “making them kiss”. having to defend it like a position in chess, over and over again.

the reason i made a separate post was just to acknowledge to myself that i felt sad about it and weighted down by a lifetime of feeling invisible, having my hopes belittled and i suppose some of that hope (certainly as a teenager) being distilled into silly fandom ships but always having to say “this is a crack ship” or “lol i know the creators either hold me in contempt or simply don’t see my existence as important… but!”

it’s not your fault, and as always with humans we sometimes just encounter people at the moment something tips them over into an emotion we don’t deserve to be met with. that’s why i would never angrily answer an anon (certainty not one that, more than anything, i was struggling to read the tone of), because the issue is much bigger than me or one instance but it just made me think and then… feel sad about larger trends and how those trends made me feel so small when i was younger. so invisible.

i don’t want anyone to feel like it’s their fault because it’s not!! it’s the line we push and push and push in queer solidarity and yeah it can seem like these things (shipping) are inherently stupid and petty and unimportant but speaking for the kids who are alive because of it i don’t think that’s true. i agree with realism, and i think when it comes to canon we sadly still need to proceed with caution. more and more it seems like you can have your show, or you can have canon sapphic ships (this term - sapphic - used as always and forever in a trans-inclusive sense).

this is as usual a lengthy way of saying that (i hope) i went out of my way not to put this on anyone. it’s just a thing that makes me sad to reflect on as the flinching of a lifetime, so afraid to hold what i love and to talk about it because that hope is seen as pointless. but what’s the star wars rogue one quote again?

rebellions are built on hope 💖💖

#anon #sorry if there are mistakes too tired boi to proofread it

[maddiem4-writes]

Exit Music (for a Sunrise)

This is a short story I wrote because I was feeling inspired by Spooky Season and a Veritasium video. It involves unique vampire lore and self-destructively horny characters, and I'll probably eventually write an explicitly explicit sequel.

Close your eyes, smell the pine forest and chlorine, hear the hum of an ice machine faintly down the hallway, and then...

"It's the acidity, that's the stupid thing."

I glanced dozily over at the boy sitting next to me. I wasn't entirely sure if I could feel his pulse pushing back against mine. The short length of aquarium tubing between us was a much darker red than I would have imagined, and I felt just fine.

He pointed at his neck, in two places, symmetrical on either side, and continued. "Your carotid forks like a wishbone on either side. And there's a little bit in the fork, that tells you if your blood is acidic. That's what tells you when to breathe."

"Really?" I smiled warmly. "What's acidity got to do with breathing?"

He smiled too, but his eyes were on the horizon. There was a thinness in his expression, an old pain. I felt my heart leap for him in that moment. I don't know why. "Acidity's got everything to do with breathing, especially the yearning for it. You've felt the need to breathe before, haven't you? The desperation that comes from being denied air?"

I shrugged, a little put off by the question. "Yeah. Obviously. I'm alive, aren't I?"

He chuckled. "Obviously. Silly question. It's been awhile for me." I wondered what he meant by that, and waited for him to explain, but he was determined to get back to his original topic. "You can't really feel low oxygen. And you can't really feel high carbon dioxide… directly. But carbon dioxide, it makes your blood sour. Those little bits in your neck, they tell you that your blood is sour, which means you probably have high carbon dioxide, which means you probably have low oxygen too. Sour blood means you need, more than anything in the world, to breathe."

"Really?" I stared off into the orange-ripple sky, wondering if he was seeing something particular in the clouds, or the skyline. The night air was cool on my skin, but by now I'd warmed the concrete of the balcony, at least the parts I was touching. It felt a little less warm now than I vaguely remembered it feeling half an hour ago. It was beautiful out there in the expanse of the world, and complicated, and so was he. I turned to him, and pointed down at the tubes. "Am I sour?"

He turned to me, and his short sandy hair rustled in the breeze. His lips were turned up in a grin, and he held a finger up, gesturing. From inside the hotel room, Thom Yorke's voice rang in sweet, distant echos from the FM radio. Pleading, crooning:

Breathe…. keep breathin'….

The boy tapped his finger in the air to seal the moment. "No. Not sour at all."

I relaxed a little further, cozy in my spot. "Cool."

His brow furrowed then. "I'm sorry about this, by the way. Either way it goes."

The wind opened up the neck of my shirt a little further, and I didn't mind, but I wished so badly it would do the same favor for him. I laughed, I honestly laughed. "Well, what are the ways it could go? Sounds like there's just two of 'em."

He just stared at his palm, the gorgeous hand which flowed in clean lines upwards to the softly sculpted arm that had the needle stuck into it. He didn't answer my question, he just said, "You probably think I'm unfathomably selfish, don't you?"

I shook my head. "Why would I?"

He looked at me fiercely then. "Because I do." And there was a razor buried in his voice, a fresh fire in his eyes like I'd never seen. "Because I'm trying to convince myself desperately that I'm not, that I don't have choices, and really, do I? When it's like this, when the price is this high to simply be?"

I wasn't sure what to say to that. So I said nothing, and he continued, gathering terrible momentum.

"It would be easier if I could pretend what so many of us pretend. A divide between the divinely ordained race, and the livestock. There's certainly a host of fucking incentives to believe that. But it's a house of cards. It falls apart when you can talk to the cattle, and they're just like you, except.. briefer. And you were like them once - even if it feels more like a story than a memory anymore - it happened, and you can't escape knowing that."

I leaned toward him, careful of the needle in my arm. "You say a lot of words to dance around what you mean, Conrad."

His expression softened. "There are more than two options, actually."

The trees were visible several stories below us, and stretching out for acres. Just barely visible, mind you, but a texture of the world painted in moon-grey tinsel. The birds were beginning to wake now. I asked him, gently, silently. Insistently. I asked without words.

He hesitated. "I'm… deciding."

I sighed, peeved.

He looked me up and down. "You could live forever, you know. If you don't mind the dark."

I scooted closer to him, and it was harder than I expected. My muscles were heavy. I didn't care, and I kissed him. "The dark's not so bad. But your voice has a catch in it, something darker than that. I want to know what it is."

He took my hand, put it on his chest. I steadied my heart - I had to. He was looking at me earnestly, and I matched him. "Do you feel it?"

Breathe…. keep breathin'….

The rising, the falling. "Yes."

"I still do that. It'll buy me about a week. But it won't last. Blood breaks down, it gets sour, and I'll feel like I'm drowning… all the time."

I nodded. My mind was starting to feel clear, even as my body as getting heavier. "You're deciding whether to put me through the same wringer, aren't you? Forever, but with an asterisk."

He nodded back, eyes serious as Sunday service. "It's one of the options. And it's a big asterisk. But it's bad to be alone like this. You don't die, but it's hard to find fresh blood when you can't function, and you can't function without fresh blood." He cupped my face in his hand. "I've been alone for ten months, Elizabeth. A blink in my lifespan, and I can't count the times I've nearly spiraled into helplessness and suffering in that time. It's the longest blink I've ever endured. We're not meant to be alone."

I smiled at him. "I've loved other men. Gone on a NyQuil run here and there. Sounds like the same thing, just with higher stakes."

He winced theatrically, barely containing a giggle. "Oh, don't talk stakes to me!"

His hair felt so soft as I twirled it in my fingers. "You're an idiot, Conrad. But I don't mind it."

He stared into me, warm and kind. I was starting to feel a bit cold in the morning chill myself. "I really could. I really could do it." The last vestige of my glass of wine was in his voice, and it sounded like spun gold.

I kissed him again. "Call that Plan A. And the other options?"

"Cheeky!" The smile lasted for a moment, then faded, and he was looking through me. His voice resumed hollowly. "The next option is to just drain you. You know that's on the table."

"Walk the earth alone? Take your chances with that vicious cycle of yours?"

He raised his eyebrows at me. "That's a remarkably selfless way to talk about the consequences of dying tonight."

"I won't." I winked at him. "You need me and we both know it."

He rolled his eyes. A little of the morning light - indirect and pale, but with the promise of a turmeric sunrise - was beginning to dance through his hair. "I told you, I lived ten months without you so far."

"Oh, I know." I poked his nose with my finger. "I heard you describe it. Good luck with month eleven, sounds like real glory days for you. Lap of luxury, through and through."

"It's not a kindness to put you through that."

"Then don't." I traced my fingers up his bare leg, towards the cuff of his long-dry swim trunks. "Take me with you. You said it yourself, we're not meant to be alone."

He stopped my fingers with his, gently. Sadly.

"There's a third option."

He stared off into the horizon, but I stared upwards at the wall of the hotel. The rising sun was already peeking over the forest-covered hillside at the cold stucco of the upper floors. The curtain of light would find its way down the wall to us in a few minutes. In these hours at the open and close of day, the sun is at such an oblique angle that, if you watch carefully, you can see the borders of shadow moving moment by moment. It still doesn't seem quick, and yet if you take your attention away for what seems like no time at all, it creeps up on you with a ferocious and unwavering pace.

That is what made me feel truly cold.

"You wouldn't," I said, with none of my previous confidence.

He stared off at the hillside, wind rustling his teal polo shirt, saying nothing.

"You wouldn't."

He opened his mouth, idly stroking one of his fangs with his finger. "Did you wonder why I didn't use these?"

I gulped. "Because it's hard to talk while drinking?"

"We don't drink it. Our fangs are… highly vascularized. What good would blood do in our stomachs? We don't drink, we drain. That doesn't make talking hard, it makes it impossible." He turned to look at me again, a weariness in his gorgeous shoulders that I could barely stand to witness. "And I sorely needed to talk with you tonight."

I felt a hot tear run down my cheek. "Before you go?"

"In case I decided to."

"It doesn't have to be like this."

"It's been a long ten months, Elizabeth."

"The next ten don't have to be. They could go by like nothing at all. You and me."

"And the trail of bodies we'd leave behind together."

"God dammit, Conrad!" I shouted, suddenly impatient and furious and terrified. "Don't do this to me. Not now."

You can laugh…

He smiled at me, transparent in a way I'd not seen him before, old inside and visible and vulnerable. He was pink and warm, and if anyone had seen us, they would have guessed wrong which of us was a vampire. Pink and warm and tired. "I asked you, when we met, what you'd do if you only had one night left on earth…"

… your spineless laugh…

I couldn't even raise my arms anymore, but my hand was clenched in a fist by my side. "You fucking bastard."

We hope your rules and wisdom…

He looked up at the sky, its stars stolen by clouds and the rising dawn. "And we did it, you know! We actually fucking did it."

… choke…

I felt lightheaded. I looked up again, and the light was beginning to glare off the frame of our room's sliding glass door, the top edge.

… you….

What they don't tell you about exsanguination is that it feels a lot like not being able to breathe.

He held my hand, and stared into my fading vision. "I'm so grateful to you, Elizabeth Maroney. And you've helped me decide, at the eleventh hour. Down to the fucking wire."

… Now, we are one…

He unstuck the needle from his arm, and started for the sliding glass door, which was still open. "I'll never forget you, Lizzy. Sorry it wasn't Plan A."

And then he fell like a mailbox making the unfortunate acquaintance of a vehicle-speed baseball bat.

… In everlasting peace…

My hand was clamped down hard on the tubing. I don't think I could have let go anymore if I wanted to. "Fuck you, Conrad."

He stared down at the noose of deep-red tubing around his ankle, yanked into an impenetrable knot by his resistance against it. I guess he never felt me wrap it around him when I was teasing his leg.

… We hope…

He stared at me, dumbfounded. "Lizzy, what did you do?"

… that you choke….

"Insurance."

… that you choke.

The blaze of the sun was upon us, and I realized one last time that I finally felt warm again. I was distantly aware that he was struggling with the tube around his ankle, and then with my hand, beating me, screaming in panic.

We hope… that you choke…

The sun was so warm.

… that you choke.

Let there be no mystery about how I died. February 4th, 1996, exsanguinated next to a severely burnt corpse. His name was Conrad. And my name, the last goddamn word he screamed out of that pretty little throat, was Elizabeth.

#maddiem4 #writing #short story #one off #vampire

[questionablepastries]

large vent

tw: suicidal ideation

I need to type this out for my own sanity. But also the entire purpose is on the off chance that someone reads this and, in some way, relates to what I'm experiencing. Not the entirety of it, but a part of it, would be enough for me to justify sharing my experiences. Normally, I would have written this out in a diary but something tells me that by sharing it and letting people they are not alone would be more beneficial than keeping this to myself. To preface everything, these are first world problems. All of this spiraling - ok first off my behavior towards what is really the most minor of all triggers is annoyingly blown over. All that happened was that someone i thought i could have befriended more given time and more chats- just one day decided i wasnt worth being (and i hate typing this) mutuals with.

What made me laugh was the idea of describing my lil hissy fit emotional tantrum to my boomer absolutely not online coworkers and they would all most likely laugh about it. But the more i thought about losing this mutual, the question i kept going back to was why? why was i blowing this out of proportion? what even caused this big of a reaction in me? well first off, i was really riding on the hope to get to know them better. i really wanted to be friends with them. the great thing about online friendships is that it eliminates any barriers that would be present if someone tried to make friends with you in person. you dont worry about smelling bad, looking weird, stuttering, bad posture, etc. so truly i was thinking if our interests aligned enough and we cracked some jokes we had something, that could blossom into something cool. instead it didnt and they just dropped me entirely out of nowhere, and me being my silly self thinks somehow its my fault.

honestly though im sure they were going through something - like they would constantly post about wanting ppl to unfollow them and me going oh that cant be about me surely, nah it was most definitely about me. i cant nail down what it was though, did i not reach out enough? did i joke too much? was i too little was i too much. unfortunately, with the lack of a physical barrier im taking this as a personal fault that I Really messed something up. Something about me as a person is inherently undesirable and therefore not worth putting in the time or effort to talk to -- there must have been something off about me for this to have played out the way it did, right? I keep running scenarios in my head like oh what if i reached out more, or what if i responded in a different way that one time -- as if it can change the outcome of what has happened but. all of this. all of this emotional self inflicting stupid reaction im having stems from my own struggles in real life to make friends. this has been a running trend all my 28 years (yeah 28!) and.. to bring myself back to reality and to keep my emotions from spilling over. I came up with a good strategy.

I always ground myself by saying to myself in a silly voice as if one would calm down a pet "are you punishing yourself for having become the person you are today due to your shitty environment/upbringing that you had no control over" and "are you punishing yourself for factors out of your control Again? eye roll come on now" and thats literally how ive been grounding myself this entire time whenever i get really uncomfortable with how i am as a person in real life. and yeah honestly my upbringing sucks ass it sucks soooo much. i have no extended family and it has never been more obvious since i became conscious as a toddler to this day that my extended family on both sides absolutely does not give a shit about me nor my immediate family. my immediate family being my mom and my sister. my mom and my sister are my ONLY family. side note and i mean this semi-jokingly: if you have a family fuck you. when my coworkers talk about their uncles or their aunts or their grandparents or how they were raised by their grandparents or how they hung out with their cousins and how they went on vacations, or how they spent time with their dad. i feel this massive vacancy in my heart that is a placeholder of what i want so desperately to have happened. i feel like those scenarios they describe to me are just not possible, families only exist on tv shows, and christmas specials, thats not a real thing. it has never been a reality for me. unrelatable. all of it. and as a first generation child from immigrants (lets not even get into my dad we havent spoken to him in over a decade) my only memories are of food stamps, being smelly in school because my mom could literally not afford the time to take care of me or afford a baby sitter, my stuttering, my inability to join extracurricular activities due to money, all of it added up to my ostracization throughout the entirety of my school years.

& as a child on welfare it was very much drilled into me that the only escape from poverty is through education and i took that very seriously. im a fucking scientist now i passed the national exam to get where i am. where i failed socially didnt matter to me back then as long as i had good grades, grades were All that mattered to me. and i succeeded. but not without some draw backs. ive always been an awkward person. i have a couple of friends few and far between in person. its literally three people that i keep in contact with in real life and i am extremely grateful that they reach out to me but its also like. i gotta do better lol one of them forgot my birthday this year and the other one only texted me 'birth' on my birthday, the last one he's a keeper - we're basically brothers and he always checks in on me, but he doesnt live in the same state as me. so all of that is to say. When this person broke mutuals it kind of made me, or rather for my own sanity, seriously re-evaluate my relationship with how i spend my free time, and who and what exactly am i placing value in. this person absolutely does not care about me and i dont expect them to. and given what little we had in terms of an online friendship i guess i let my hope of a cool friendship with them blind me to the reality of what we actually had. time and time again i have placed more hope and love into online individuals that do not reciprocate - and usually they just drop the ball on me. which is like ok. im sure i was either too little or too much i can never accurately gauge how intense i am due to, you know, Lack of Real Life Experience. oh right the suicide thing, so like for the longest time i struggled with suicidal idealization - it only stopped until i graduated about two years ago. In my pre-teens to late teens i told myself that if i was in the same scenario where my mom and my sister are my only family but we were well off i would definitely have killed myself.

I decided as a pre-teen that my only worth was how high i could get into my academics in order to lift my mom out of poverty. that was the Singular Only driving factor that kept me alive. kinda. damn that sucks to write out lol but its true! that was my mantra back then and i would repeat it anytime something shitty happened to me or someone was mean to me. im not sure where im going with this. i just wanted to get it out there, that i was and still am very lonely in person, and whats funny is that im not even like ugly im just average, i hung out with my sister and dolled myself up a bit for my birthday and we went to the mall and three guys hit on me unprompted so its definitely not a looks thing - SPEAKING OF when i got into uni and moved into an apartment with four roomates i was like this is my YEAR, im gonna go out SO MUCH im gonna walk around campus im gonna go out late and do school clubs!! and then covid happened. the apartment lease was worthless. i stayed indoors exactly the same amount as i always did only this time it was justified, but it sucked because that was the time i had decided i was going to break my cycle of staying inside holy shit that fucking sucked. and then my senior year of college i didnt need to stay in an apartment anymore because i was required to be in a hospital four days out of the week for training so i ended up back at my moms. i think there is something wrong w me tho bc im not saying it was being poor that led to me being awkward. but it didnt help, and im gonna go ahead and blame my lack of a support group - family wise, my entire life, on how uh. i came out. lately im trying to reel back how blunt i am. which. uh. hmm. i actually have a large language barrier with my mom. somehow i picked up on understanding spanish but not speaking it perfectly, it improved, im way better at speaking it now.

but i could hardly communicate with my mom while growing up, and she never expressed interests in my hobbies or who i was as a person, to this day i am and will forever be a 7 year old toddler in her eyes. she still shows no interest in me as a person or who i am. which is fine with me, ive accepted that she wont change, because she grew up in a more messed up environment and this entire time only until Recently, she had been on breadwinner providing for my two daughters survival mode. um. so , like i mentioned. that person breaking mutuals just shone a light on how, broken i am as a person? you would think, without physical barriers the sky is the limit when it comes to befriending people but no i still struggle i cant do anything right i suppose. i just need to focus on improving my life outside of online spaces. people online will reach out of they want to and can so im trying to lessen my hopes in general. and um. idk im at a loss for words currently. i simply dont know where to begin when it comes to , anything? living? hmm. i only just escaped school so i feel like i can breath - air for once. im no longer under the scary pressure of - if i fail at school im better off dead- ohh i think i know what i can add - offline people are WEIRD. ive had a couple of hiccups with friends irl that i literally dont talk to anymore! one of them became a misogynist red pill guy, another guy kept trying to touch me every time we hung out! and the last guy kept telling me to fuck off when i asked how he was doing!! hmmm. yeah this is just circling back to my current mantra which is to not be overly mean to myself for how i am currently due to my , situations leading up to now. I DONT KNOW. here's hoping..!! something !! anything is nice to me!! ohhhh i remembered something else. recently my coworker exchanged numbers w me saying something about haning out with other coworkers in the future. i am so desperately trying not to get my hopes too high up. always happens tho!!!!!!!! i get my hopes up when it comes to making friends both offline and online!!!!!! and guess what keeps happening again and again!!! HAHA………..can i have hope this time??? do u know once i tried reaching out to a mutual i wanted to befriend and get closer to (we were calling each other friends by this point) on Three Separate Platforms i knew they were active on only for them to Not respond to Anything i sent? AND i didnt even reach out three times in a row I Spaced It Out like a Normal Person. Only for Them to Tell me how they were having Fun in Their Friend Group of Other Online People talking about our Mutual Interests. Do you know how fucking stupid i felt at that moment. Oh im sorry am i not cool enough to be invited to that. Am i too stupid what is it about me thats so repellent??

I know its common courtesy to not be straight to people and tell them whats wrong with them but damn i wish someone would be straight with me and Not leave me hanging UGH. I realized at that moment tho that I never wanted to BE that desperate EVER AGAIN. I felt like such a stupid asshole holy shit. I never want to be that desperate for some onlines person attention ever again oh my god,, i dont think ill ever forgive them for that. its all on me though!!!!!!!!! mY FAULT!!!!!!!, for placing Value and i guess getting my Hopes up that i could make friends again WHOOPSIES i forgot im fuckin uhhh Ultra stinko Stupid Bitch who cant maintain any sort of relationship!!! back to the ditch on the side of the road i go to drink my stupid pond water like the unlovable unwarranted piece of shit nobody wants to hang out with again!!!!!!!! MY BAD!!!!!!! SO SORRY TO BOTHER. well its whatever i got money now, i have a job. and as much as i would like to say well earning money is all that matters right? its not. im a greedy greedy jealous little sniveling BITCH and my heart will never stop yearning for what others take for Granted. SO YEAH LOL. this has felt great to type out!! if you relate to any of that...um... Im sorry!!!!! we all in this together. but maybe not really im just gonna be kept at arms length with literally anyone i try to befriend offline due to me bein a little weirdo who cant relate to anything haaa,,, i want to end this on a positive note but fuck that! This is where im currently at and this is my current predicament! Will it improve? sure if i put some effort into myself and spend less time online and stop putting rakes on the ground to step on. i literally set myself up for getting hurt everytime ill figure out a way to make the pain hurt less.

#as far as the tw goes DONT WORRY #currently not struggling with it #its just something i talk about in my post

[actuallyunreal]

Sorry if this has been asked before, but do u have any songs u associate with ur versions of the ew guys?

ahoy there! what a fun question!! :D :D :D

so i actually have a playlist for my au at least with a couple songs for each character. :3 i have to add some for the neighbors, but hey :3 (uhhh it dawned on me that you just asked for them in general and not specifically my au but honestly? i dont make too much of a distinction - but still, my bad!)

fun tip: everyones got at least one song from death of a bachelor by p!atd but i didnt put them all on the playlist because then it would be like…. 90% p!atd and thats just silly

anyway heres my ~best of~ picks or whatever!

OH ALSO if youre not into 💔😈garbage weepy edgy boys😈💔 i would not recommend reading further <3 i love silly boys but my song picks are always dramatic because i have no self control. 😊

edd: my ordinary life - the living tombstone; They tell me that I'm special, I smile and shake my head I'll give them stories to tell friends about the things I said They tell me I'm so humble, I say, "I'm turning red" They let me lie to them and don't feel like they've been misled They give so much to me, I'm losing touch, get me? Served on a silver platter, ask for seconds, they just let me wrecking ball - mother mother; It takes a dedicated hand To put it through the wall You gotta wanna break the heart Of all those pretty porcelain dolls You gotta want to be the drummer in the band You gotta want to be a battering ram You gotta see the artistry In tearing the place apart with me baby dont threaten me with a good time - p!atd Champagne, cocaine, gasoline And most things in between I roam the city in a shopping cart A pack of camels and a smoke alarm This night is heating up Raise hell and turn it up Saying "If you go out you might pass out in a drain pipe" Oh, yeah, don't threaten me with a good time

tom: bad decisions - redhook; Okay, now please don't think I'm tryna glamorise all of the shit that I despise about myself 'Cause my mental health is tenuous at best from all the pressure and the stress of other people's expectations I'm crushed by the weight, so I self-medicate to escape Then I just make more mistakes, can't break this stupid cycle of self-hate dread in my heart - mother mother; Oh I wonder what it's like to be the type who doesn't burn Ya the kind who fights the good fight Not the kind you'll find fisti-fuckin-cuffin' in the dirt death of a bachelor - p!atd Do I look lonely? I see the shadows on my face People have told me I don't look the same Maybe I lost weight, I'm playing hooky with the best of the best Pull my heart out my chest, so that you can see it too

tord: heroes - emmy curie; So you wanna be the hero, kid, be adored by everyone 'Cause no one can forget you when you're the reason they have won You want the fame, the attention, but more than anything You're scared of fading to the background like you didn't mean a thing anime intro - public theatre; I couldn't help but notice your under eyes You were looking pretty skinny last night Are you even fighting I couldn't help but notice your little lies You keep saying that you'll be just fine Are you even trying Anymore now house of memories - p!atd Baby, we built this house on memories Take my picture now, shake it 'til you see it And when your fantasies become your legacy Promise me a place in your house of memories

matt: emperor's new clothes - p!atd Welcome to the end of eras Ice has melted back to life Done my time and served my sentence Dress me up and watch me die If it feels good, tastes good It must be mine Dynasty decapitated You just might see a ghost tonight Double, double, double down And if you don't know now you know inferno - rain paris; Terribly terrible, she's a villain One as sweet as caramel, she's my saint Think I'm getting butterflies, but it's really Something telling me to run away

#grim au

[grey-gteam]

GreyG : the formation of group

Heni:

After an hour, the car took us to our dormitory, a palace compared to our cubicles which served as an apartment for 6 girls. Packing our things didn't take long, surprising given how many clothes Gabi had. We had to take his ton of stuff with us. I feel that the cohabitation will be long and hard, we will stay together for 7 years or more, if the group works of course.

I hear knocking at the door.

Heni: Come in.

Iji and Ara's heads go through the door.

Iji: So, how's the installation progressing??

Heni: Slowly but surely.

Ara: You want help.

Heni: If it's to steal my clothes, I pass.

Iji sneers.

Ara: You're the worst unnie.

She rolls her eyes, crossing her arms.

Heni: We already have enough, don't you think. You can attack Gabi's wardrobe if you want.

Iji: With her ton of clothes, you'll have a choice.

Ara: Yeah, that's it. Well, apart from that, we're going to be part of a group together, in addition with superb unnies.

Iji: You know legally, we should be in school like all normal kids.

Ara: Apparently, we're not normal, anyway, it's your dream, isn't it? To start.

Heni: Besides, it's still two years from now, so we will have already grown up.

Iji: What bothers me is that other people could have been chosen, a Trainee who was there for a long time, much longer than me. I feel too young and inexperienced.

Ara: Heni?

I turn to her.

Henry: Yes?

Ara: Do you think like me?

Heni: It depends on the situation, so I don't know.

Ara: I'm just saying that the 14-year-old prodigy who has outstripped every Trainee for months here is stupid.

Heni: HA!! Ah yes, you are stupid!

I point at Iji accusingly.

Iji: Oh… it's not a point that I was in the top 10.

Ara:

I totally disagree.

Ara: No no, silly, that's a point, inexperienced my eye.

Heni approves with two thumbs up.

Ara: In addition, if I start, it's with the Moonz, not without, ok!?

Heni: Yeah!!

Iji: Okay!!!

Lynn suddenly enters the room.

Lynn: Maknaes, it's time to eat, I made a Japanese dish for dinner.

Heni: Waa, it smells good!

Ara: You're right!!

Iji: I want the first bite!!

Iji starts running towards the dining room.

Ara: No, I want to eat it!!

I also put chasing after Iji.

Lynn:

Kids, too cute.

Iji and Ara ran off to the dining room but Heni just stood there.

Lynn: You don't run, do you?

Heni: Am i supposed to?

She stands there dumbfounded.

Lynn: Go to the dining room, that's all.

We walk together, she moves in slow motion,

the world is going too fast for her apparently.

Akane:

After having eaten, eaten our fill for once, I'm crying so much it's good, we were in the kitchen talking.

Ara: What do you think we'll be called?!

She gobbled down a piece of meat asking that question.

Yerin: Something nice I hope.

Gabi: I also hope that the concept will be interesting, as for aespa for example.

Akane: The technological madness works only with them, we will surely have something different.

Lynn: We might have a storyline! It would be fun, we might be able to do several musical styles.

Iji: And in your opinion, what will our positions be??

Ara: Well, everyone knows you're the maknae, Ijin.

Iji: Iji and yes that's for sure.

She rolls her eyes.

Iji: The rapping hand is Akane, that's for sure too.

Sunsol: Mio is the main dancer.

Mio: Ahh, yes, well, yeah.

Chenny: We shouldn't get excited like that, we'll all know what we need to know in due time. Our debut is still planned in 2 years, well if we don't have any problems.

Yerin: Don't be pessimistic like that, if we're going to start, it's surely together.

Heni: She's right…uh, I want to start together…we what.

Iji: We all know it will be super hard, no.

Gabi: Of course, we all knew that, when I stopped stuffing myself, I knew it was hard.

Everyone laughs.

Sunsol: We will get there!!! Let’s GO!!

Iji: Don't shout, I have sensitive ears.

Sunsol: OH REALLY !?!?

Sunsol continues to scream in Iji's ears, soon joined by Ara, they like to annoy the youngest, that's for sure.

Iji: Stop it! You're going to break my ears!

Iji throws the rest of his dish at Sunsol, but the dish ends up in Yerin's face.

Iji: Oh!! I don't regret my act at all, sorry Yerin, you fell in the path of my dish.

Yerin: You don't know what you threw!

She in turn shoves her food into Iji's face, which triggers a food fight in the dining room.

#kpop story #for fun #kpop #story series #4th gen kpop #ggroup kpop #girl group #greyg #just for fun #my story #👌🤘 #kpop imagines #kpop scenarios #xg #twice #nmixx #newjeans #le sserafim #ive #solo idol #soloist #kpop idol #izone #choi yena

[nothing-but-dreamy]

DRINKING SHOTS WITH CHRIS AND LEON

Synopsis: To fulfill a promise, you brought some Vodka to drink. But you never expected the evening to end like this...

Characters: Leon Kennedy; Chris Redfield; Reader

Warnings: some alcohol; fluff

Words: 1.631

You slammed the bottle onto the wooden surface between the two guys who were sitting at the bar counter. As they both looked up, you grinned, holding three shots in your hands, "Like I promised, drinks are on me.", you said, sliding in the gap between the tall men: Chris Redfield and Leon Kennedy.

Chris smirked and quirked a brow with an amused expression while Leon turned over to you, almost matching Chris' glance as he looked at you as well, "You don't really want to do this, my sweetheart.", Leon said with an arrogant smirk.

You looked up at Leon with a lopsided smirk and a challenging glance, "First of all, I'm not your sweetheart. And second, that was the deal. After this mission, drinks are on me. It was our first big mission together. We have to celebrate that.", you pointed out, reminding these two of the promise you had given to each other.

Leon shook his head slowly, "Look, we're both grown men and you're-"

"I'm what, Kennedy? Huh? I'm what?", you asked challenging, crossing your arms over your chest while waiting for Leon to end his sentence. You already knew how some were seeing you: as a little girl who wasn't fitting into this kind of job.

Chris shook his head to signal Leon to shut up. The last thing he should do was to answer this question if Leon wanted to live long enough to see the end of the night. So, like a real friend, Chris jumped in to help, "Look, what Leon wanted to say is that we... We want to protect you-"

Chris thought himself as smart but he wasn't what let you smirk. Slowly, you turned over to him, smiling at him sweetly, "Protecting? Me? You two?", you asked before you laughed loudly. As you calmed down, tears were filling your eyes and running down your cheeks while you had difficulties to breathe properly. You laid your arms around Chris' and Leon's shoulders, even sitting they were both taller than you, "Boys, don't you dare to forget that I saved your sweet asses, alright? You wouldn't be here right now if it wasn't for me."

"Oh, come on! You know that's not true!", Leon argued but as you looked slowly at him he became silent. In fact you were right. The last mission had been a bit tricky and you were right. You had watched out for them with your sniper rifle as it became extremely dangerous. One by one, you had brought BOWs down as if you were picking apples from a tree. Leon nodded and pointed at the unlabeled bottle, "Alright, alright. We owe you something. What have you brought us to drink?"

You grinned devilish, "Vodka. The...good one. At least, I got told that you would like it."

Chris and Leon changed a knowing glance while you watched their faces fall in realization. Leon was the first who recovered, "No...", he breathed, shock mirroring in his eyes what amused you.

Then you looked at Chris who had the same expression in his eyes. You put the shots next to the bottle, "Yes.", you said serious.

"No.", Chris whispered and shook his head slowly.

"Hell yes.", you said again. Both men watched how you took the bottle to open it. You removed the cap before you poured the clear liquid elegantly into all three shots.

You couldn't know that but Chris and Leon had a 'past' with this certain liquid in this certain kind of bottle. As they first drank that stuff, they had experienced the worst hangover in their entire life while Dima, a guy who had helped with a mission and who had brought the alcohol afterwards, seemed to be unimpressed, at all. But maybe, it was just a coincidence and this bottle came from someone else... At least, Leon hoped that. There was no way you could know Dima, "But... Where.. where did you get that from?", Leon asked fearfully.

"Dima.", you answered meaningfully and watched how they both stared at each other, "Boys, don't be shy. Come on.", you said while taking one of the shots. Reluctantly, they followed your lead. You touched glasses and swallowed the alcohol. As you were done, the boys were still staring at their glasses, "Wow, you drink this or are you staring at the glass to get it empty?"

Leon and Chris swallowed their drinks with a grimace. You looked back and forth between them with a big grin, "And? Was it this bad?"

"It's still disgusting.", Leon said with a raspy voice, shaking himself.

Chris reacted the same, "Yeah. I'm still sure this isn't for drinking rather for cleaning something.", Chris whispered.

You took the bottle to fill the glasses once again, "Maybe, the next shot will be better.", you suggested.

"No, not for me.", Chris said.

But you ignored him, "We can't stop after the first shot. One more, Chris, please.", you asked pouting while shoving the other shot to Leon.

Chris looked at you and somehow, you were able to convince him, "Okay, but just one."

*

Several more shots later, Chris clinged to you like a huge, cuddly teddy bear, "You're so sweet, yn.", he slurred what caused you to chuckle, swaying slightly on your chair by his weight. Leon watched the two of you amused with a stupid grin and shook his head about his silly friend. He knew Chris would regret all of this the next day. If he would remember this, at all.

You looked pleadingly for help at Leon but he just raised his hands in defense that he was powerless. It had been your idea to give Chris alcohol and now, you had to deal with the result of your glorious plan. The tough, tall and stern man became a bundle of emotions if he got something to drink.

Chris leant stronger against you and placed his heavy, muscled arm around your shoulders to bring you closer, "You shouldn't be a part of my team!", Chris whined suddenly, switching his mood from happy to emotional within a second.

"W-what? Why not? I'm good-", you slurred.

"But you're so young! Like my sister. Yn, you could be my little baby sister.", he cried out and hugged you stronger, trying to protect you from the world.

Suddenly, Leon straightened himself, knowing exactly where this could lead, "Chris, it's enough.", he said grinning but with a demanding undertone.

Chris slammed his hand on the table, "No! She has to hear it! Yn, if something ever happens to you, I couldn't forgive myself. You hear me? You're too precious. You shouldn't do this job."

"Alright, Chris. That's enough. Come on, we will bring you to bed.", Leon demanded, swaying as he got up. He laid one of Chris' arms around his own shoulders while he tried to get that heavy, broad guy up from the chair. You helped on the other side, slightly swaying on your feet but together, you were able to bring Chris to his room even if you needed longer than necessary.

"No, I'm not tired. I don't wanna sleep!", Chris protested as he fell on his bed. He bounced a bit up and down but Leon pushed him down back on the mattress as Chris tried to stand up again.

"Good night, Chris. Sleep well.", Leon said.

You already had reached the door as Chris spoke up once again, "Leon, you have to watch out for yn! Take care of her. And I don't mean just tonight. I know you like her. You two belong together."

Even if it was hard to understand, you had heard every single word. You wanted to ask Chris something but he was already asleep. He was sprawled on his bed and snoring like a bear. Silently on your tiptoes, you and Leon left the room.

In the hallway, you walked to the opposite wall, leaning against it with crossed arms and avoiding Leon's eyes, "You wanna tell me something?", you asked, eyes glued to the ground.

Leon approached you slowly, fighting to get a clearer mind for this kind of talk but the alcohol was still a thick cloud around his brain. He stopped in some distance from you, "Yn, he's drunk. He doesn't know what he says-", he started but stopped, searching for the right words which was more difficult in such a state.

"Is that true? What Chris said about you liking me?", you asked, slowly looking up.

Leon held your glance, staying where he was and said nothing, not sure how this could end if he said something wrong. Inwardly, he cursed about Chris' loose tongue when he was drunk.

You instead wanted an answer. With wobbling knees, you stepped closer to Leon, stopping right in front of him. His eyes were boring into yours as you looked up, "Leon, please, is that true what he said?"

Leon raised his hands and cupped your face carefully before he leant down to kiss you very softly almost innocently with his thumbs caressing your cheeks. You could still taste the Vodka on his breath. Like a lightning, the sensation shot through you. But before you could deepen the kiss, Leon removed himself from you, looking into your eyes, "Go to bed and sleep. If you wanna talk about this, we'll do it tomorrow.", he whispered, turned around and walked down the hallway to his own room.

Dumbfounded, you watched after Leon. You were too drunk to run after him but your mind was clear enough to tell you that the next day, you would have to talk with Leon. And maybe, when your body had processed the alcohol properly, you could understand the feelings you had noticed since the moment Leon had kissed you.

#resident evil leon #leon scott kennedy #leon kennedy #leon s. kennedy x reader #leon s. kennedy #leon s kennedy #chris redfield #biohazard #resident evil vendetta #resident evil #resident evil damnation

[helloalycia]

worth the wait [two] // daisy johnson

summary: same as the first chapter – it was too long to post in one so this is the remainder of it!

part one | part three | part four | part five | part six | masterlist | wattpad

"What do you think?"

I raised an eyebrow as I poked my head inside the van, glancing around at the cramped space that had stupidly been turned into a living space. There was also, weirdly enough, a computer in the corner which made absolutely no sense.

"I think I have no idea what I'm looking at," I admitted, before looking to an excited Skye beside me. "What is this?"

She bit her lip to contain her grin as she patted the van's door proudly. "This is my new rig."

I almost laughed. "You're kidding."

Her smile lessened. "I'm not."

Now I definitely laughed. "Skye, c'mon, be serious. Whose van is this?"

Her smile disappeared as she clenched her jaw with annoyance. "It's mine. Sorry it isn't fancy enough for you, your majesty."

When I realised she was serious, I lost my smile and looked between the van and her. "Skye, where the hell did you get a van? You can't even drive!"

Clearly holding in her anger, she began to push past me and slide the doors shut. "He said you wouldn't get it," she mumbled to herself, but I heard.

"He?" I questioned with raised eyebrows. "Who the hell is he?"

"Miles," she snapped, stopping moving and looking to me. "Miles is the one who got me the van. He said it was a bad idea to show you and clearly he was right, Y/N. You took one look at it and laughed. He was right."

I smiled tightly, trying not to get worked up at the mention of Skye's new friend. She'd befriended this 'Miles' guy within the past few months and wouldn't stop meeting with him and his friends. He was in the grade above us, but just like her, he'd skip class and do God knows what.

Ever since she'd been hanging around them, she'd been standoffish and distant. She wouldn't contact me as much when she ran away, and she'd been skipping school more often than usual. They were clearly a bad influence on her, but she reassured me she was in control of her own life and knew what she was doing. Being the idiot I am, I fell for her pretty smile and convincing eyes, but this was getting too far now.

"No offence, Skye, but I wouldn't start listening to a guy who can't even make it to class on time," I said to her with a hint of annoyance. "Why do you need a van anyway?"

"Why not?" she countered with her arms crossed. "I thought you'd be happy that I'm finally taking responsibility. Growing up."

My expression softened. "I've never once said that you had to do either of those things."

"You don't need to say it," she mumbled, looking down at her shoes with a frown. "I know you think it. Everyone does."

I stepped forward, resting a hand on her shoulder and finding her eyes with mine. "Where is this coming from? Skye, I have never thought that. All I've ever wanted for you is to be safe and happy. I'm just worried."

She shrugged me off. "Well, now you don't need to be. I've got this."

"You're seventeen, you should be in school studying, not staying in a van," I said tiredly. "You've been missing so much. How are you gonna graduate?"

She avoided my eyes. "That's another thing... I've been thinking and, well, I don't think I want that."

I widened my eyes with disbelief. "What?"

Still avoiding my eyes, she continued, "I don't think I want to graduate."

I was too surprised to find words so quickly. I couldn't believe what I was hearing.

"How can you not want to graduate?!" I asked suddenly, finding my words. "It's what you do! It's what we all do!"

She met my eyes with apologetic ones. "It's what you do, Y/N. I don't want to be at a place that makes me feel like shit. I can't keep pretending I fit in when I don't."

"This isn't you," I told her sternly. "We were supposed to graduate together. You're not stupid, Skye. I can help you study. You can't just give up."

"I'm not," she said with certainty. "I finally know what I'm doing. That's all."

I squeezed my fists together to contain my frustration. "And what's that?"

"The Rising Tide–"

"For fuck's sake!" I cut her off, before hitting the van door with frustration.

"Miles has taught me a lot!" she defended. "They do a lot of good, Y/N! I just want to be apart of something bigger. Something that can help me help others. And something that can help me find my family. My real family."

I clenched my jaw, knowing I was too late in convincing her otherwise. Whatever Miles and the others had told her about their stupid hacking group had worked – she was dropping out of high school and there was nothing I could do to stop her.

"You're gonna be going to university and we both know I can't afford it," she said gently. "We couldn't stay together forever, Y/N. And my foster family definitely don't care what happens to me. I don't fit in anywhere."

I looked to her with glassy eyes. "You fit in with me. You always have."

She pursed her lips as she stayed quiet.

"I'm sorry I didn't make that clear enough," I added bitterly.

"That's not it and you know it," she muttered, shaking her head. "I have to do this. I have to figure myself out. Alone."

I felt stupid for letting her do everything she did leading up to this point. If I had just tried a little harder, maybe things could have been different.

"You're not alone though, are you?" I asked rhetorically. "You've got your new pals at the Rising Tide. It's their damn fault you're doing all this."

"They're not as bad as you think!"

"You've changed because of them!" I argued back. "They created a barrier between you and I. It's because of them that you've... that you've..."

"What?" she snapped, glaring at me. "That I'm finally thinking for myself?!"

I swallowed the lump in my throat and straightened up. "Forget it, just– forget it. I've got a midterm to study for."

She snickered harshly. "Of course. Don't want me slowing you down."

I stayed quiet and turned around to leave. I couldn't see past my anger as I left her with her stupid van. 

Of course, the two of us had been friends for a lot longer than that silly argument, so I was quick to realise how much I actually cared about her and her life, and wanted to apologise for how harsh and unsupportive I sounded.

The next day after school, I decided to head over to her foster family's place to hopefully talk to her. I'd had enough time to think about it and knew I was a lot more levelheaded now that I'd had some space.

I knocked on the front door and waited before an older blonde woman answered. I recognised her as Skye's foster mum, Sally.

"Hi, Mrs Collins," I greeted with a smile. "I'm looking for–”

"Mary doesn't live here anymore," Sally cut me off instantly, surprising me.

I had almost forgotten that Skye's foster family knew her as the name she was given by her orphanage – Mary Sue Poots.

"She doesn't?" I asked with confusion. "But I thought–"

"Goodbye, Miss Y/L/N," Sally interrupted, before slamming the door in my face.

I blinked with confusion before turning around and walking down the steps. It had been a while since I last visited Skye at home. In fact, she made sure I never visited her at home. I guess now I knew why. But then where the hell was she living?

As I walked around the neighbourhood trying to think about where Skye could be, I saw a familiar van parked up on the side of the street and put the pieces together.

Guiltily, I approached the van and sucked up a deep breath before knocking on the side. It didn't take long for the door to slide open and reveal Skye herself.

"Hey," I said quietly, noticing her surprised expression. "Can we talk?"

She licked her lips nervously and nodded, before moving to the side to let me in. I climbed inside and watched as she shut the door before settling on the seat in front of me. I looked around and realised the little details I hadn't noticed yesterday. The little things that made this place Skye's and nobody else's.

"I'd offer you a drink, but I don't have any," she joked to lighten the mood, and I couldn't help but crack a small smile.

I breathed out before meeting her eyes. "Skye, I'm really sorry about yesterday. I shouldn't have reacted like that. If I had known that this was your home, I–"

"You didn't know," she said, shaking her head with embarrassment. "I didn't want you to know. It's my fault."

I pursed my lips, watching as she looked away with pink cheeks. It hurt me to know that she was embarrassed when I didn't care about any of this, I just cared about her.

"I want you to know that I respect your decision to join the Rising Tide," I said gently, making her look up. "If it's what you want, you should go for it."

"It is," she said with certainty.

I chewed on the inside of my mouth before asking, "Is there no way you can finish high school though? Graduate with me?"

She shook her head. "I don't want to, Y/N."

"But that's the bare minimum," I pleaded. "Hacking isn't a lifestyle. You need to work, too, and I can promise you that most places won't look to hire a high school dropout."

She leaned back in her seat and shrugged nervously. "Miles isn't graduating either. And he's got some friends who haven't graduated. They're all doing fine."

I looked down and pinched the bridge of my nose to contain my frustration. I promised myself I wouldn't argue with her, but the mention of her other friends was like a trigger.

"What now?" she asked with annoyance, realising I was annoyed. "You clearly have something to say about them."

"It doesn't matter," I said, biting my tongue.

"Sure it doesn't," she played along.

"It doesn't," I agreed.

"Yeah, and the Hulk isn't bright green," she said sarcastically.

I looked up and glared at her. She stared back challengingly, practically daring me to speak. So, I did.

"Your new hacker friends are the reason you're making these choices," I told her straight. "They're the reason you're making a huge mistake. The reason you're dropping out. And for what? So you can hack like them?"

She rolled her eyes. "I know you look down on us, but we're more than that."

"Skye, I don't give a shit about them!" I shouted without meaning to. "I only care about you!"

"Then stop talking crap about my friends!" she returned angrily.

"Why do you care about them so much?!"

"They gave me a place to stay when I had nowhere! They made me feel like I belonged!"

I frowned, anger replacing with hurt. "I always offered you a place to stay. I only ever wanted you to be safe. You never needed to be different with me. You belonged. Always."

She swallowed hard and looked away from me ashamedly. "Well it doesn't matter anymore. I'm leaving."

I breathed out deeply. "School? Our town? Leaving what?"

"All of it," she said quietly. "I don't expect you to understand."

I looked down to my fumbling hands, a tear slipping from my eye. I had never felt so angry at someone before in my life. She was treating me like I was a stranger, as if I wasn't somebody who knew her inside out. She was treating me like she treated everyone else except her new friends. And I couldn't deal with it anymore.

"Fine," I said, before moving to open the door. I jumped out her van and didn't spare her a glance as I said, "Have fun with the rest of your life. Sorry I didn't care enough."

She didn't say anything and I didn't expect her to. With a broken heart and headache, I left and didn't bother turning back.

—

"What do you mean she's run away?"

"I'm sorry, Y/N," Mr Lock said apologetically. "Her foster family got the note this morning. They're doing what they can to find her. She always turns up, you know that."

I knew her family didn't care if she was gone or not, so I knew Skye definitely wouldn't be found. Unlike usual, Skye hadn't contacted me before leaving, so something told me she wouldn't be turning up.

Our argument was over a week ago and I hadn't seen her since. It had been eating away at me the way we'd left things, but I couldn't find it in myself to face her. I had no idea what to say anyway. And I wasn't sure when she was planning on leaving, so I didn't think it was important right now. Clearly, I was wrong.

"I just thought you should know," Mr Lock said with a nod. "The police will come by soon to get a statement from you."

As usual. Except this time, I actually had no idea where she was.

I nodded, my mouth going dry. "Thank you... can I go now?"

He nodded hesitantly. "Of course."

I left his office and headed straight outside behind the bleachers where nobody could hear or see me. The first thing I did was try to ring Skye, but there was no answer and no way to leave a voicemail. I tried several times, hoping she'd pick up, but she didn't. And that's when I remembered the burner phone.

Immediately pulling it out, I turned it on and saw the message from her appear on my screen. I was quick to open it, my heart racing like it did every time she ran away. I knew she wasn't coming back this time though.

Hey, Y/N. I know you probably hate me, but I felt like I owed you this. I said I was leaving and I have. I can't tell you where. And I'm not good at goodbyes. I've had too many of them and I couldn't bring myself to say it to you. I'm sorry I pushed you away. I never wanted to, but I guess some things are inevitable, huh? I've managed to do it all my life, this isn't any different. I'm just sorry if I hurt you in the process. Anyway, this is pretty long and I don't even know if you read it, but yeah. I'm sorry. I wish things could have been different.

The text ended there and I found myself rereading it to myself over and over, her words imprinted in my mind. I knew we'd argued and exchanged hurtful words, but I never in a million years thought she'd leave without saying goodbye. I thought I meant more to her than this. But no. I was just another foster family she ran away from. And I wasn't so sure I'd see her again.

#daisy johnson #daisy johnson x reader #chloe bennet #marvel imagine #marvel #agents of shield imagine #agents of shield #daisy johnson imagine #mcu #agent skye

[misslilli]

Felix is baaack - I missed the little guy 🥰

Felix Felicis

MSR. AU. E. | tagging @today-in-fic | read on AO3

Chapter 61 - Mulder-Rules For Successful Relationships

[ FM ]

As it turns out, I was absolutely right about the fact that I can't read women to save my life. They're mystical creatures whose mind works in mysteriously twisted ways that always catch me by surprise and my woman is no exception.

It took some time to cajole what's on her mind out of her and when she does admit it, it's absolutely not what I expected and it takes everything in me not to laugh.

The real reason she doesn't want to stay over is because she doesn't want to do it with Felix in the house. What an odd thing to worry about. I know this day doesn't show it, but I'm not an animal and I can control my urges. Well, to some extent.

It doesn’t take a psychic to read between those lines, not with her head ducked like this and her downcast eyes to avoid seeing my reaction. My chest tightens painfully once it dawns on me what her anxious face and her worries is really about. And I'm definitely not laughing inside anymore.

“Hey… have you ever… been punished for saying No?” When she nods into my hand I’ve used to coax her head upwards to look at me, I’m ashamed to be of the same gender as the pieces of shit who did this to her.

“Physically or verbally?” Oh dear Lord, if one of those bastards ever dared to lay a hand on her, I'll personally hunt them down. I feel nauseous.

At my question, she tucks her chin again and looks down at her hands between us, tugging the overly long sleeves of my hoodie over them self-consciously. Her voice is so quiet, I have to lean in close to hear what she's saying.

"Verbally. Viciously. Repeatedly, until I had to walk away before I gave up saying No." In a sudden, defiant change of behavior, she raises her head and swipes angrily at the tears in the corners of her eyes and my throat closes up so tight, I'm afraid I'm going to lose it soon too. "God, Mulder, I'm so tired of this, of the past coming back to bite me in the ass around every corner!"

"Yeah, you and me both, Scully… Can I ask you something else?"

I debate whether or not to ask the other question that's on my mind, if the answer is Yes, I'm not sure I could live with myself. But I need to know. I couldn't bear the thought of inadvertently causing her more pain.

"Last night, or today, did you ever-" I don't get around to finishing my sentence, she interrupts me with a firm head shake and a "No! God, no!" so forceful, it takes us both by surprise. The rush of relief leaves me a little lightheaded and I can finally breathe again. She adds a more quiet "No, it was wonderful, all of it."

I busy my hands rolling up her sleeves slowly, just like I always do with Felix, while I talk, to lace our fingers together in the end. "Okay, that's good. I'll pass on some words of wisdom from my therapist, total honesty about the past is the only way we stand a fighting chance of moving past them."

"I've heard the same thing from my therapist, actually. You have to promise not to laugh at me, though, or make fun of the things I tell you, that's a surefire way to never get an honest answer out of me ever again." In that aspect, we're more alike than she thinks, I've had my share of 'Don't be ridiculous!' and 'Haha what a stupid thing to say!' thrown in my face to last me a lifetime.

"We'll make that Mulder-rule Number 1, total honesty."

"I thought we already had rule Number 1? No name-calling?," she teases with a raised eyebrow.

"Okay, fine, Miss Smartie-Pants, two rules. No wait, three. You paying attention over there?" I'm not at all prepared for the show of putting on listening ears and turning them on, it's so over the top and silly, but oddly endearing at the same time. Dating an elementary school teacher, I'm pretty sure there's more where that came from.

I tick off our new rules on my fingers. "So, no name-calling, total honesty and no laughing at the other's expense. Promise?"

"Pinkie promise!" Boy oh boy, she's cute, sleeves rolled up and holding out her pinkie for me to hook mine into and give a little tug to seal our promise with a kiss.

"I know it's hard, to open up about these things but they're far more important to know than say… your favorite color or favorite pick-me-up snack."

"Mhh, you're absolutely right." After scooting down a little lower to snuggle into my chest, she adds with tentative amusement. "Navy, by the way. And Reese's Peanut Butter Cups."

————

[ DS ]

I'm so relieved we got this uncomfortableness out of the way, I really am so tired of having to deal with the ghosts from the past. On top of which, I've never been with a single parent before and I have no idea what I'm doing, too far out of my depth to know what's appropriate or not.

All I know is that I'm not keen on scarring a little boy for life, seeing or hearing things he really shouldn't on his night-wanderings he's bound to make, having inherited his dad's insomniac tendencies.

Mulder warned me that depending on how the weekend went, Felix's mood when he gets home is quite unpredictable. If it went well, he's his usual exuberant self, if it didn't, he's sullen and angry and prone to throw fierce temper tantrums. I can't even imagine sweet, little Felix turning into the raging typhoon his dad describes so vividly, so I pray that his weekend went well. For him and for selfish reasons, I really need this first night we spend together to be a success.

Once we hear the car pulling up outside, I wait with bated breath to see what happens next. Felix tumbles into the house, almost slips on the hardwood floor in his excitement, overnight bag slung over his shoulder he tosses into a corner by the door. "Daa-ad I'm home!," he yells out, kicking off his shoes and sending them flying in opposite directions.

He stops dead in his tracks once he spots us bundled up on the couch, side-by-side, appropriately dressed in top and bottom clothes, with the Oxford hoodie stuffed clandestinely into the depths of my overnight bag. To wash and return, of course. Maybe.

The surprise shows on his face, he's blinking for a few moments to process what's going on and then a slow smile spreads across his face as he shuffles his feet a little shyly. "Hiiii, Miss Scully!"

Lightning fast, he's across the room and on the couch, hugging me so tight he knocks the air from my lungs for a minute. "Oof! Hi Felix!" I can't help but chuckle at his overly affectionate ways and pat his back, throwing Mulder a surprised glance over Felix's shoulder. "Did you have a good time at your mom's?"

"Yes! She has a new boyfriend, Chuck or Jack or something…" He pulls back to make a face and a nonchalant shrug. "But other than that, it was okay! Did you have a good weekend too? Ooh and can you stay for dinner? And a movie? And a pajama party?" And with wide eyes and that puppy-dog look of his, he adds a dragged out "Pleeeeease!" to his request that's so sweet, I just have to agree to stay. Not that I was ever keen on leaving in the first place.

The look on his face once he hears we can start with dinner and then go to bed, it's a school night after all, is priceless.

"Fe, go wash up before we start making dinner and put away your things. And remember, dirty clothes go into the hamper, and not tossed in front of it!"

"I did that once, no need to remind me every time now, Dad…," he grumbles, sliding off my lap to do as told and disappears up the stairs with his overnight bag. We can hear his continued grumbling all the way from his couch and grin at each other.

Mulder offers me his hand to pull me up and off the couch, tucks a stray strand of hair behind my ear and tips my head up for a kiss so very sweet, it lingers until well after dinner. The butterflies in my stomach apparently don't get a break. "I love how he's so excited to spend some time with us, it's a huge relief!"

Felix, all washed up and dressed in the cutest pajama I've ever seen, returns from upstairs and I get sent to sit on the kitchen counter and watch because "You're our guest, Miss Scully, and guests don't help out!"

So from my perch, I get to watch him stand before the fridge, ripping both fridge and freezer door open with both hands and the confused frown that appears as his eyes scan its contents. "I have no idea what to make with any of this! Dad?"

Watching them prepare dinner is so adorable, the little sous-chef only complaining once that all he gets to do is hand his dad ingredients and utensils and is not allowed to do any of the real cooking.

"You're too young to handle knives and a hot stove, Fe!," is his dad's exasperated reply and I get the feeling they've had this conversation countless times before. While I don't necessarily agree that he's too young, I keep my opinions - that kids can be taught to do almost anything within reason - to myself for now.

Felix, the master conversationalist, rips the conversation to himself during dinner and it's all "Miss Scully did you know…" this and "What do you think about that, Miss Scully?" that and "You will not believe what I read about, Miss Scully!". His dad only shakes his head, amused at the boy's attempts to include me in the dinner conversation.

It's weird and odd to be called Miss Scully in such an informal setting, she's a persona I usually like to leave at school where she belongs, shed once I step out the door after the school day ends.

"You know, Felix, why don't we leave "Miss Scully" at school from now on and you just call me Dana when we're not there!"

"No way, really??" Jesus Christ he's cute, all toothy-smile and excitedly clapping hands at my affirmative nod. "Wiiiicked… Dana!"

After dinner cleanup and wrangling a droopey-eyed yawning Felix into bed who, as always, insists he's not tired and does not need to go to bed right now, the bedroom door closes behind us with a soft click to start off getting ready for bed ourselves.

"Oh no, I hate it when that happens!" We did remember to put the bedsheets in the washer and dryer, but forgot to re-do the bed, crap. That's one of the worst things, I hate it when I'm dead tired and just want to go to sleep and then I have to make the freaking bed before. My pouty face elicits a chuckle from Mulder and he nudges me towards the bathroom.

"You're funny. Go ahead and change into your PJs, I'll make up the bed in the meantime." Guh, he's so perfect, I can hardly stand it.

Changed into my silk PJs, we end up sharing the sink brushing our teeth, the image of us staring back at me in the mirror so quintessentially domestic, I can't help but grin around my toothbrush.

"Sho…" I pause briefly to spit toothpaste into the sink, ew gross. "Diana's got a new boyfriend huh?" Mulder only gives me a shrug in response, leaning past me to grab his mouthwash. The casual brush of his arm over my silk PJs gives me all the pleasant tingles and it takes every last ounce of self-restraint to keep my hands to myself right now. His naked chest right in my line of vision does not help. I'm a lost cause.

"Mhm… new man of the week, apparently. Poor bastard, won't know what hit him once she's chewed him up and spit him out." He takes a swig and offers me the bottle, cheeks puffed out like a cute little chipmunk. I take the pause on his side of the conversation to ask a question that's been plaguing me for a few days now.

"Does she know… about us?" The shake of his head disappoints me a little and I take my own swig of Listerine, maybe minty-fresh will wash away the bitter taste that he's still keeping us a secret. From his ex-wife and probably everyone else who's important to him.

"No… I only told my mother, and Sam, who are both so over the moon and can't wait to meet you." Okay, brownie points for you, resounding smack over the head for me for always assuming the worst. "But Diana and I ... we're not exactly on speaking terms after what happened at Christmas."

I rub some lotion into my hands, feeling a little sorry for the boys and what they have to deal with on a day-to-day basis with someone like Diana.

"Mhh, that was… an unfortunate series of events." Mulder scoffs around his floss to say 'You can say that again', raising his eyes to the ceiling at the gross understatement. "She seems to have gotten the message though, new boyfriend and all… Does it bother you, that she introduces them to Felix so quickly?"

In the mirror, I catch the look of surprise that flashes across his face at my last question. I remember how mindful he was to make sure that we only bring Felix into the mix once we've established a tentative foundation of our relationship, his ex-wife doesn't seem to share the same values.

"Uhm… yeah, it does, quite a lot actually. We've talked about it, even he told her that he'd prefer to not meet anyone she's not serious about but… well, taking other's feelings into account has never been one of Diana's strong suits. Anyway, I pray daily for the strength to accept the things I cannot change. Come on, let's go to bed, I'm exhausted after… today's events." He gives me a grin and a wink to top it off before he heads back to the bedroom that are both so cheeky and cute, I shake my head to myself and giggle when I turn off the lights of the bathroom after me.

"Do you have a preferred side?," he asks, gesturing to the made-up bed. I shake my head no, I really don't, I usually just sleep smack in the middle of my own bed.

"No… I just like to sleep on the side with the window.," I answer back and we head to our respective sides, pulling back the bedspread and I turn on the night lamp on my side. The little girl in me giggles. My side. Of his bed. Hee. Stop it, it's not a big deal. Except it is. Hee hee.

The room is still the same as last night, I observe from my spot propped up against the headboard. Unlit candles and a half-empty box on the nightstand act as a silent reminder, as if I even need one - our first time is forever ingrained in my mind.

"To make a quick escape, I presume?" I glance down and over at him lying beside me from my book, to see his cheeky grin has reappeared. Momentarily distracted by the arm draped casually across his chest. "The window? For a quick escape?" He adds helpfully at my silence and burrows a little deeper underneath the sheets with a wriggle.

Yawning into my hand, I put a bookmark in my book and place it on the nightstand along with my glasses, turning off the lamp while I'm over there.

"No, in case the axe murderer decides to come in the night, so I'm not his first choice!" We share a minty-fresh kiss goodnight we have to take great care with so it doesn't turn into more and I snuggle back into him with a contented sigh.

"Don't worry, if the axe murderer does come in the night, I'm fire-arm trained!" The casual reminder that there's a gun stashed away somewhere in the house makes me a little uneasy, I've never been comfortable around fire-arms, even if he's as trained as he claims he is. And probably devastatingly sexy as his FBI Special Agent alter ego.

With him wrapped around me so tight I get confused again where he ends and I begin, and with the final kiss goodnight he places onto my neck, I actually do feel very safe with him, axe-murderer and gun and all.

#xf #xf fanfic #the x files #felix felicis

[hellodolleyes]

///Wind and Thunder///

///-"It's Okay, I'm Here Now"-///

" . · . -? " Klyde stirred in his sleep, unwilling to part with the void after the grueling day he just had; but whatever force was trying to pull him to the surface was persistent. " . . de? ... Klyde?" Kyde grumbled lowly as the white noise suddenly formed into words, he opened his eyes cautiously to reveal the dark ceiling of his room.

Confusion crossed his face as he turned his head towards the alarm clock on his side table.

3:45 am

He nearly forgot what had woken him in the first place, that was until the small voice spoke up again. "Klyde...? Are.. Are you awake?".

The man in question jumped slightly at the voice, its tone leaking restraint, as if afraid to be speaking in the first place. He took his time sitting up and crossing his legs before leaning over the side of his bed to find the voices owner.

Shocked, the form took a cautionary step back before regaining his composure. "...Misso?" Klyde said questioningly before shaking his head and rubbing his eyes "Misso, do you have any idea how early it is?"

Misso had to gather himself before he could speak again, Klyde's morning voice had caught him off guard. It was throaty and low, and here he thought his voice couldn't get any deeper.

"Uh.. Y-yeah.. And I'm sorry, I really didn't want to wake you.. I swear. It's... It's just..." Misso cut himself off, he didn't know exactly what drove him to travel all the way to Klyde's room. Other than the strange impending doom feeling that was slithering its way tightly around his chest.. He didn't know how to put it into words as he looked pitifully back up into the patient dark hazel eyes that stared him over.

Klyde let a sigh escape him, as he extended a hand down to Misso. Without hesitation, Misso took hold of one of his fingers and allowed himself to be gently lifted up to the bed. He was softly set down onto one of Klyde's thighs as another hand cupped itself behind him. He leaned back into the other hand, glad for the support.

"Is everything okay?" Klyde asked after Misso had settled himself into a comfortable position. He watched and felt as Misso pushed himself harder back into his hand in reaction to the question.

"Well... I just.. Haven't seen you since this morning.. And I know you probably had a rough day since you went to bed s-so early.." He stammered out, causing Klyde to worry; he usually never struggled to speak so much, and it left Klyde wondering if he had upset him somehow with the way he was acting.

"Yeah.. I did have a little bit of a rough day. It was nothing I can't handle though" He admitted, but didn't go into detail.

He had been all over the place that day, usually being one to work from home he wasn't prepared to be called into a meeting. Shit hit the fan, a party of three employees were laundering money, and a bunch of shift changes were taking place. He had to write up termination papers and launch an investigation.

And on top of it all some idiot had broken into the shop the night prior and ruined a bunch of perfectly good fabric by throwing red paint all over it. Klyde wasn't one to bash animal rights activists but every roll of fabric they ruined was synthetic!

...

He must have been wearing an unpleasant expression as he reflected on the day since Misso tensed up.

Klyde tried his best to soften his gaze, and expressed an apologetic smile.

"I'm sorry I brought it up..." Misso said quietly, looking down at his hands.

"It's okay Strawberry" Klyde replied, softly rubbing his friends back with one of his fingers in an attempt to convey that he wasn't bothered.

He then paused briefly, as the usual objection to the nickname never came. Instead Misso just kept looking down, and Klyde could feel him shaking against his hand.

"...Misso..?" He called quietly, reaching his free hand to Misso's front. Quickly Misso placed his hands upon one of Klyde's knuckles as if to deter him.

"I'm sorry I called you Strawberry, Misso. I didn't think it would upset you so much..?"

"It, it's not the stupid n-nickname, I-I, I just.. I'm not feeling 100% right now.. I.. I don't know why... I don't know..." Misso's words began to trail off as he tried to continue "C-can I... Would it.. Would it bother you if I stayed in here tonight?" He finally forced himself to say.

Klyde felt something akin to being punched in the gut as something wet fell onto his knuckle, he immediately realized that Misso was having an episode. He felt stupid, it was so obvious with the way he had been acting.. It had been so long since his last one that the signs had nearly passed him by.

"Misso, don't be silly, of course you can stay with me tonight." He answered quietly, shifting his hands to wrap them around the Strawberry blonde who squeaked in surprise. "I really don't mind, please don't feel troubled to ask me something like that." He continued, just barely pressing both of his thumbs into Misso's chest.

Slowly, Misso raised his arms to embrace Klyde's thumbs as he finally looked back up, teary blue eyes finding the calm rested face of his giant friend looking down at him with pure concern.

Misso finally broke under that gaze as he leaned into the hand hug completely, breaking down into sobs as he lost any strength he had left to fight against the torrent.

"Misso" Klyde whispered his friends name as he watched all of his tension unfold. "I'm so sorry I left you alone all day.. I know you don't like that... I should have at least said hi when I got home." He said in regret as Misso held onto him tighter.

"It's okay, I'm here now, and I won't be going anywhere tomorrow." He concluded, lifting Misso, who's shaking breath hitched at the sudden yet careful movement.

Misso felt only slightly disoriented as Klyde then pressed him up against his chest, supporting his legs and back so he wouldn't fall.

He took the opportunity to clutch at Klyde's shirt and burry his face into his chest as he continued crying. Misso genuinely hated being alone in Klyde's home, not because he couldn't handle being alone, but because he was almost always terrified that Klyde might never come back.

He knew it was silly at this point, he knew Klyde would never purposefully abandon him... But what if something out of his control happened? Misso would be none the wiser, and utterly helpless if he tried to find out why Klyde was gone.

All he could do was fear each and every scenario that came to him when left with his thoughts, and it only made him cry harder as they came back to him.

'What if something happened to you while you were gone?'

'What if someone breaks in while your gone?'

'How would I reach you if something happens?'

His head swam.

"Misso" Klyde's voice reverberated through his chest, and subsequently through Misso's body as he spoke; it caused the small man to inhale deeply with a shudder... Such a strong feeling being brought on by not only hearing, but feeling his name being called. He didn't know what to think of it, as Klyde had never held him this closely before.

"I know what you're feeling is scary... I couldn't imagine being in your situation myself." He continued "and though I may never know how it feels, I want you to know that no matter the situation, I will be here for you. I will make sure you're taken care of, and I will catch you if you fall." Klyde spoke softly, removing one of his hands from Misso as he lay down slowly.

Misso spread himself out a bit more with gravity keeping him firmly in place now, while welcoming the weight and warmth of the hand that still rested on top of him.

"I may have been gone all day today, and once more, I'm sorry for leaving you with your fear. But now, I'm here for you, and I'm not letting you go. Okay?"

Misso's sobs had turned into shuddering whimpers as he tried to regain his composure. However, he could utter no more than a simple "okay" back to Klyde, sure that any other words would only make himself cry more.

Misso moved his head to press the side of his face into the fabric of the t-shirt, he sniffled, appreciating the effort Klyde made to be supportive during his break down..

"Klyde.... I'm sorry" he murmured, but was gently shushed.

"Shhhh, Misso. Misso everything's alright, I promise."

"..Klyde.." Misso said again in quiet gratitude.

Klyde continued whispering silent reassurances to the strawberry blonde that huddled on top of him, never removing his hand or making sharp movements. He felt accomplished at being able to calm Misso down so quickly, but also ridden with guilt that he was the sole cause of it.

He wouldn't forgive himself so easily for it... But hearing the soft 'thank you' from his small friend made him feel a little bit better knowing he helped in some way.

Misso's whimpering eventually fell silent as he focused on his own breathing... But more than ever, he listened to Klyde's.

The sound of his breaths, they seemed so powerful to his, and the sound of his heart was like a rhythmic drum. It made him feel as small as he was... But the thought didn't bother him so much right then.

Misso's eye lids fell heavily as Klyde stroked his back with a thumb, and before long he dozed off to the sound of wind and thunder.

#g/t fiction #g/t #g/t sfw #g/t related #g/t ocs #g/t story #g/t fluff #g/t prompts #g/t art #Klyde #Misso #my g/t #digital art #art #drawing #ocs #my ocs #i love these bois

[sillyrabbit81]

Syverson & Vixen

Summary: Captain Syverson retires from the Army and takes an extended vacation. He wasn't planning on falling in love. Then he meets Vix, an unlucky in love tattoo artist at a party. Do they have what it takes to make it?

Pairing: Syverson x OFC

Word Count: approx 2.4k

Warnings: recreational drinking, bodily fluids (vomit), smut, Daddy kink, spanking, orgasm denial, swearing.

Authors note: I hope you enjoy my version of Syverson. Thanks for reading.

Divider by @firefly-graphics

Masterlist

Part 12 Part 14

Part 13

Victoria

I was very drunk by the time the party was over. I pulled Sy by the arm as he was trying to say goodnight to Yobbo. "Come on, you big stud, take me to bed or lose me forever."

Sy, who wasn't drunk, looked at me like I insane. "Are you quoting Top Gun at me?"

"Yeah. So?"

"Fuck those Navy assholes," Sy said with a smirk.

I thought for a moment, trying to think of another quote for Sy. "How about... I eat Green Berets for breakfast, and right now, I'm very hungry."

"Gotta go," Sy said to Yobbo and hoisted me over his shoulder. I don't think Sy thought it through cause when he put me down, the world spun. I was very drunk. I took a moment to steady myself, putting my hand against the ute for support. Then my mouth filled with saliva, and I felt burning in my throat.

"I think I'm gonna spew." And I did. Fuck. Not just once, I kept going. Sy pulled my hair out of my face and rubbed my back while I did. It was so fucking embarrassing.

"Sorry, Sy," I said between heaves.

Sy chuckled and said, "Hey, I'm not the one who is going to feel like shit in the mornin'." He kept rubbing my back. I looked at him, and he wasn't mad. He had genuine affection on his face, and maybe he was a little amused too. I turned away, so I didn't vomit on his shoes.

"You're too good to me, Noah," I said when I was finished.

Sy gave me a brief grin. "Feel better, Darlin'?"

"Nope. But I think I'm done being sick for now."

"Come on, lil Kitten, let's get you home." He helped me into the car, wound the windows down, and wiped my chin and lips with a tissue. He pushed my fringe back and kissed my forehead. "Silly girl. You shouldn't drink so much."

"Yes, Daddy," I said, sticking my tongue out at him. Sy stopped moving, and his eyes caught mine. They weren't amused anymore. They were dark and severe.

"Careful, Darlin'," Sy growled and shut the car door.

I looked across the road and thought I saw someone watching us. It was too dark, and my eyesight was too blurry to make out who it was. I waved at them, and they waved back.

Sy got in the car and said, "who are you waving at, Sweet Pea?"

I pointed across the road, and no one was there. Fuck. I'm hallucinating too. I closed my eyes, and I think I passed out before Sy even started the car.

I woke up Sy's bed, groaning. The world wasn't spinning anymore, and I didn't think I would throw up, but my head pounded with every heartbeat. Although the blinds were closed, the room was too bloody bright. I pulled the blankets up over my head.

"You awake, Vix?" Sy called out to me from his lounge room. I heard the tv turn off, and his footsteps came closer.

"No."

Sy chuckled, "come on, Vix. Why don't you get up and have a shower? You'll feel better."

"Do I have to?"

"Yup," Sy said. He pulled the covers off the bed. "Get up. It's one in the afternoon." He paused and looked me over. I looked down and realised I was naked.

"Why am I naked?" I asked. Stupid question, I suppose, but I still wanted to know what happened.

"What's the last thing you remember?"

"Getting in your ute. I think."

"Well, I carried you to bed. Then I took your clothes off cause they stunk of vomit and tried to get you into the shower, but you wouldn't let me." Sy was still smirking. I covered my eyes with my arm.

"What else?"

"I had to tell you very firmly a few times that we weren't having sex."

Well, that's fucking embarrassing. "Is that all?" I asked, really hoping I hadn't tried to give him a lap dance and fallen on my face or something.

"That's the gist of it. Come on. I'll help you. If you get up now, I'll take you to lunch."

Hours later, I was feeling better. Sy and I watched Predator and I was laying with my head in Sy's lap. I was thinking about Sy's reaction when I had called him Daddy last night. I remembered what I had said to him when we first met too. He had reacted similarly to the word Daddy both times. I hadn't meant it then. I was just flirting, commenting on how much older he was than me. But what if he hadn't been?

I looked at him and thought he kind of was a bit of a Daddy. He was indulgent, kind but firm, protective and supportive. Is that what he wanted? I thought about how he called me kitten and lil girl a lot.

I felt myself getting more and more turned on by the thought. I had never called a guy Daddy before. I've never been with a guy that suited the title, that's for sure. I thought about what I knew about DaddyDom/LittleGirl world. I knew I wasn't a little, and I had no interest in little kids toys, Disney princesses or colouring. Maybe a middle? Definitely a brat.

I felt a smile form on my lips. I was a bit of a brat, always teasing Sy, trying to make him lose his cool. I loved it when he took the control back, though, when he tamed me. Just thinking the word tame made my core quiver. The movie was suddenly very dull, and I started to play with Sy's beard, running my fingers over his hair, wondering how it could be so coarse and so soft at the same time.

"Do ya think you could stop that, Vix?" He said gruffly. His lips were slightly turned up, though. I think he liked it when I teased him.

I wriggled on the lounge and hummed a no. I gave his beard a little tug.

"Vix, stop." He wasn't smiling anymore. His voice had taken on that authoritative Captain Syverson tone.

"No," I said defiantly. I pulled on the hair just below his bottom lip. His lip made a little pop when it fell back into place.

Sy growled and held my wrist. He turned the tv off and said, "you have my attention, lil girl. What do you want?"

Well, it was now or never.

"I want you, Daddy," I said. I could hear the desire in my voice. I reached over and tugged his beard again with my other hand.

Sy's eyes went wide. He grabbed both my wrists and held them in one hand. "You're in so much trouble, Victoria." Sy's eyes narrowed, and his blue eyes darkened. I yelped and tried to get away, but his hand was so strong. I was so fucking turned on. I couldn't believe I had never thought of this before. All I wanted was to be put over his knee, be spanked and then have him ruin me. "I think you need to be taught a lesson, don't you, Kitten?"

I moaned, and my hips bucked. My god, he was getting me so hot. Sy ran his free hand over my nipple, flicking the metal bar through my shirt as he did. I nearly came. My body was throbbing. It was so strong between my legs, and it was almost painful.

"Yes, Daddy," I tried to say, but it came out hoarse and whispered.

He rolled me over, so my stomach was over his thighs. I could feel his hard cock against my hip. Fuck, I wanted him. I wanted his cock to destroy me.

He pulled my pants down. I felt my underwear sticking to my wet pussy. There was no way he could miss the effect he was having on me. I was almost embarrassed at how turned on I was. I tried to get away. I was so confused. I was hotter than hell but scared too. Sy ran his hand over my arse, fingers gripping me.

"Fuck, Vix. You've got such a pretty ass." Then he said, "listen, Vix. Green means you're ok, and it feels good. Keep going. Amber means I'm still ok, but I'm close to my limit. Any more is too much. Red means stop. Ok?" I nodded. It seemed simple enough. That he had enough thought to prepare me like that in the heat of the moment just made me want him more. The way he controlled himself like that was so hot. It was what I was desperate for. "Say it back, so I know you understand."

"Green means good. Amber means no harder, and red means stop." I gasped. I was impatient, hungry for what he was going to do to me.

His hand came down on my ass. My legs kicked out as the sting hit me. Fuck, it stung, but it felt so good. His hand came down again, I hardly felt it this time, but the slap sound made me tingle.

He rubbed my ass, and his fingers grazed over my slit. "Tell me, lil Kitten, do you like being spanked?"

"Yes."

"Yes, what?"

"Yes, daddy." He put his finger in me and groaned. He put another in straight away and started scissoring them inside me, his fingers moving rapidly, hitting my spot. Then his thumb was on my clit. My legs tried to clamp shut, but Sy held me open, and I felt drawn to the edge. I arched my back, pushing my hips up. I felt my thighs start to tremble, and the familiar warmth began to spread, radiating from between my legs. Then Sy removed his fingers, and my orgasm was painfully out of reach again.

I looked back at him, furious. "Why would you do that?" I was floored. I couldn't believe it.

Sy laughed, his eyes full of amusement. He kissed the top of my head. "You didn't think I'd let you get away with it that easily, did you, Kitten?" My jaw dropped. "Oh, you did," Sy said. He put his fingers in his mouth, sucking them and closing his eyes. His eyes held no laughter when he opened them, only animalistic desire. "Silly girl," he drawled. "I haven't even gotten started."

Twice more, he did it. Twice more, he spanked me and brought me to the brink of orgasm. I was near tears, my arse was sore, and my clit was so sensitive, and I was desperate. I thought about calling the whole thing off, but I didn't want him to stop. Not really.

When he spanked me and touched me a fourth time, I begged. "Daddy, please, please," I begged. "I'm sorry, Daddy."

"Alright, Kitten, stop your fussing." He let go of my wrists. "You did real good lil girl."

He lifted me up and wrapped my legs around his waist, and carried me to bed. I held him close, nearly exhausted but still desperate for him to let me cum.

He stripped my pants off and took my shirt off. "What colour are you, Victoria?" He asked as he undressed me. He'd asked me a couple of times now.

"Green," I replied.

"That's good, Darlin'. Do you want to cum now?"

"Fuck. Please, yes." Sy's eyes flicked to mine, his eyebrow raised. I quickly added, "Daddy."

Sy smiled and put his head between my legs. He licked at my core, and I grabbed his head, trying to get him to go faster.

"Hands up, Kitten. Don't make me tie them." I would have thought that was an idle threat a few days ago, but not now. I slowly raised my hands above my head and gripped a pillow.

Sy grinned. He was fucking loving it. He went back between my legs as soon as I stopped moving. Within seconds I felt my release approach. When it hit me, I felt tears fall down my cheeks, and I screamed his name. I felt my orgasm roll over me. Over and over, I rode those waves of ecstasy until it was over. I had never screamed or cried before. Shouted, yelled, cried out yes. But I had never screamed.

Sy's cock was rubbing at my entrance as I came down from the high, "Do you want this, Victoria?" He asked, his voice strained. It seemed his control was finally at its limit.

"Yes, Daddy," I murmured.

"We can stop if you want, Kitten. I put you through a lot, and I can tell you ain't used to it."

I grabbed at his face and kissed hard, my tongue searching for his licking at him, "Please, Daddy. I need you inside me."

Sy groaned and slid himself in. He filled me all the way, and I felt myself stretching to accommodate him. The pleasure of the feeling made me feel hot again. "You're still so tight and wet for me, Darlin'." I nuzzled my face into his shoulder, kissing his warm, furry skin. His hairs tickled my nose, but he felt so good.

He went slowly but forcefully as he fucked me. Like he was reading my mind, he knew I needed that gentle but firm feeling from him.

Sy kissed my neck, sucking on me again. He wanted to mark me again, and I didn't fight it. I liked looking at his little love bites on my neck, and I liked feeling like he claimed me. I wanted him to claim me, own me, and I wanted to belong to him.

He pulled out briefly and flipped me on my stomach. He laid over my back, and his weight felt comforting on me. He held my hand as he entered me again and put his legs on the outside of mine. It felt so intimate, so safe, as he put his other hand over my throat. He kissed my back and neck and whispered in my ear. "You're so beautiful, Victoria. You feel so good. Are you my good girl? Are you all mine?"

"Yes, yes, I am." I felt my peak rise again as he whispered those words. And I was. I was his. He had owned me tonight in a way I had never felt before. Surely no one else could make me feel like he does. "I'm yours, Noah." It was the truth. There could be no one else.

He grunted then and let out a small wordless cry, and I felt him release inside me, filling me with his seed. He squeezed my hand as he did, and I squeezed it back, letting him know I felt it too.

Part 14

#captain syverson #syverson fanfiction #syverson x ofc #syverson smut #henry cavill #sand castle

[luvlyrv]

Our Songs | pt. 6 | Wendy x F!Reader SM!AU

Word Count: 2.7k

A/N: I hope the word count marginally makes up for the fact this series has been on a three month hiatus lol, don't worry though it'll finish soon!

Date: 6/10/21

Series Masterlist

Ever since you and Wendy exchanged numbers you find your hand unconsciously reaching out to your phone throughout the day. You hope to find a notification from her when you turn it on. Thankfully she always seemed to respond back, but even when she didn't you'd put your phone down to repeat the loop. You tried your best to make sure it didn't interfere with your work, but still, your day was marked by Wendy. Although she wasn't there physically your conversations always carried through day and night.

You've known her to be a warm person, always friendly and comforting. You hope you're not reading into things too much, but sometimes you read her messages and your heart skips a beat. The way she would talk about you would make you flustered. It would force you to put your phone down for a second, unable to comprehend the positivity. Then the thought that maybe she was flirting would creep into your head.

The idea that you're just imagining things always comes back to fight it though.

Shaking your head you decide not to contemplate the idea further. After all she was going to come over soon and you needed to focus on finishing your songs. Thinking about any possible romantic feelings was the last thing you wanted to do. Especially with her in front of you.

Luckily the thoughts dissipate as you zone into the work in front of you, scrutinizing every detail you possibly could. You let yourself sink into the feeling of the songs, letting it help guide your decisions in mixing. As quickly as you get focused though, you're broken out of your zone when you hear knocking on the door. Before answering you run to the mirror and take a quick look while trying to make sure you look presentable. When you rush up to the door to open it you act like nothing happened.

"H-hello! Welcome again to my humble abode!" You say it with a smile, trying to suppress the sudden fluttering feeling in your stomach.

"Hey!" She says while looking up and down at you. "Looks like we're accidentally matching today, huh?" Wendy walks past the door and you close it behind her. You take a moment to look at her outfit and then at yours. The both of you had a very blue color palette.

"Well, way to steal the spotlight. You look way cuter than me." You don't sound as confident as you'd like, your voice bordering on the softer and quieter side. You realize you haven't felt this nervous in a while.

"As if that could ever be possible!" Wendy turns her head back at you as she walks towards your room. She rolls her eyes and sticks her tongue at you, only to quickly smile at your remark. "Now stop being silly and let's work."

You follow her into your bedroom and sit down in front of your computer. She sits on a familiar stool and the two of you immediately start working. You share what you have so far, all you do is record some more vocals, including harmonies and adlibs. You polish things with Wendy by your side to help make some stylistic choices. It took a few hours that only felt like mere minutes.

The sun is still out, unlike the first time the two of you had worked together. This leads you to ask Wendy something before she would leave.

"While we're here we should just record the collab video, yeah?" Wendy's eyes light up in recollection of your previous conversation.

"That sounds good, how about we do the Q&A type video today? I can just message Yeri for some questions."

"Sure, I'll ask Seulgi to make up some interesting things for us to answer too."

The two of you didn't have to wait long as both of your friends replied fast, excited to help out and excited to have some questions answered. You situate yourself next to Wendy in a comfortable position and get the camera ready. After getting the camera in position you take the time to fix the lighting in your room, making sure to have a soft and natural feeling with the lights.

Finally, the red light begins to blink on your camera and you wave. Wendy follows along and flashes the camera a friendly look. You give a quick introduction for the video.

"Hey everybody! I'm here with Wendy today to do a little Q&A type video for you guys! We've both gotten some questions from our friends and it's just to share a little about us, how we feel about our collaboration, behind the scenes type of stuff, you know?" Wendy tilts her head and looks at you as you talk, nodding to your words.

"I really can't wait to answer these questions with you." She says with a smile. She looks back at the camera as she pulls her phone out and looks at her messages with Yeri. "Neither of us have prepared any script or anything. We've barely even looked at the questions they've sent us!" You nudge Wendy with your elbow and laugh at a thought.

"What if they sent us something inappropriate?"

"Oh god, Yeri totally would." You both giggle before Wendy prompts you to start reading questions first.

"Alright we'll stop wasting our audience's precious time now. My dear Seulgi's first question is… "what were your first impressions?" Wendy doesn't hesitate to answer the question as soon as it was asked.

"Oh! Whenever Y/N entered the café we were meeting in I was kind of surprised! She doesn't post a lot of pics of herself so to see someone as talented as her in real life was an honor. She's really cute, right?" She reaches out to pinch the cheek of your so-called cute face. You strain a smile of embarrassment at her antics.

"Yeah yeah, I don't record myself a lot." When she stops her assault on your face you follow-up with your opinion. "For Wendy… I was also really surprised… I think I'm really lucky. You guys should know that a camera really doesn't do her justice! When I first met her she certainly gave off a very approachable demeanor too."

"Why do you think that?"

"I don't know? I was really nervous meeting you, yet when I saw you and when we got to talk the atmosphere turned into something really comfortable fast. Let's just move on to the next question." You take a look at your phone again to see Seulgi's question. "What's your favorite thing about the other? Well, Wendy has always been so sweet, it's been wonderful working with her. I appreciate the care and dedication to her work that she has shown me. Her musicality really helped pull everything together, and when I was stuck she was always there to give me a fresh perspective."

"Aww, that's so sweet of you." Wendy says with a blush on her face, her hand covering her face as she laughs a bit. "It's strange to be talking to you like this, I feel like. I think you're a really straightforward person but we haven't really talked about our opinions to this extent! Especially to a camera. Ah… well I think I could really say everything the same for Y/N." Wendy nods a bit in thought before continuing on. "To add to it though, I think Y/N has just always been so considerate to me. Like, beyond being a great musician she has been a good person to me. I think if you've seen some of our interactions on Twitter you'll know that she ended up cooking a wonderful meal for me on our first meeting. I think that if she wasn't as nice as she is, we wouldn't have had this much fun together… wait, this has been fun for you too, right?"

"Oh my god, yes it has. How could you doubt that?" You punch her arm with a fake upset face. You turn back to the camera. "Guys, we've hung out and have talked soooo much outside of our collab. I literally don't understand how she can have a single doubt in her mind about us having fun."

"It doesn't hurt to clarify! Anyways, next question now! And stop punching so hard!"

"Oh hush, it wasn't that hard. Oh hmm, to go along with that Seulgi wonders what our least favorite thing about each other is."

"That's an easy one!" Wendy says all too excitedly. You make a shocked expression, worry flooding your system as Wendy points at you with a smile. "I hate how you're absolutely brimming with talent! Your work is impeccable! Musical genius!"

You groan as your body crumples. "You nearly gave me a heart attack…" Your voice is muffled between your knees.

"It's true though!" Wendy says in a sing-song voice, her face smug in satisfaction to see your scared reaction. "Otherwise there's nothing I can really say."

You gather the strength to get back up and face the camera, then Wendy. Your face is still filled with disappointment but you take your time to stare at Wendy. As you stare at her she seems to come undone as she nervously looks away.

"What are you doing?" A red color subtly creeps up her neck.

"I'm just thinking. I'm thinking that… You also have nothing wrong with you." Wendy can't help but to roll her eyes at your comment. "Except for being awfully cheesy. It makes me wanna go bury myself in a ditch so I won't have to hear your stupid cheesiness again."

"Whatever, whatever. It's my turn to read the questions. Now… this is a good one, "what has the work process been like?"

"Well that's obvious, I do all the work and Wendy leeches off of me like a parasite."

"Hey! Just because it's true doesn't mean you have to say it to the world!" Her response throws you into a fit of laughter, turning you into a mess.

"Oh my, no no! It's really not like that. I would say we have an equal workload, or a workload that makes sense between our respective positions." Wendy shakes her head in disagreement.

"I don't feel so. I feel like Y/N always does so much work, and she does it so quickly too. It makes me feel kind of bad when I sit beside her and see her work her magic. When she's focused and working so hard it's quite amazing."

"Ah geez." You shyly scratch the back of your neck. "Wendy's always like this, complimenting me. Like I said earlier though, she really helps bring me new perspective when I'm stuck and her musicality is like nothing else. She always takes the time to sit next to me and monitor things too. It's not like she's a third party to the process. Not only that," You take the time to send Wendy a smile in an attempt to reassure her that you're not burdened with work. You want her to know that you appreciate her part of the creative process, "but nothing really feels like hard work when I'm with you."

Wendy has a hard time processing your words, so instead of addressing it she decides to just further elaborate her answer to the question.

"Well, I'll just lay down the process for everyone. Obviously, Y/N produces and I sing. Although after enough convincing from me you'll hear her singing on the tracks as well, so say thank you! It all started when Y/N took the time to reach out to me, which I was really excited about by the way, and then we both agreed to meet up at a local place. We just talked about concepts and our availability. We both ended up writing songs and worked together on what we wanted to keep or change. Everything productive happens here," Wendy opens her arms to gesture to the area around her, "at Y/N's place. Even though I have audio equipment at my place too we just record things here."

"Yeah, everything she said is true. I have a little set-up here in my room. I don't think I've ever really shown you guys it? I mean, I've shown my guitar collection before but not all my other equipment yet. I'll film that another time though. Next question?"

"Oh this is kind of interesting to think about, "what do you think the reception of your mini-album will be?" The both of you take a moment to think about it. Recalling many of the things you've read on social media you decided to speak first.

"Well, I think it'll be extremely beneficial to the both of us in multiple ways. I mean first off, I guess by our genre of music we have a lot of overlap between fans. There's been an overwhelming amount of support from fans who are excited to see the both of us collaborate and interact. I have no doubt that it'll do well since it's so highly anticipated by our fans. It'll be even better if you guys manage to stream and share it!" Throughout your explanation you begin to give Wendy shy glances. "I think that even if we drop our music and it doesn't meet much success, I would've gained a lot. I think working together with Wendy has helped me grow as a musician and anything that I learn here I will utilize in the future."

At your last comment Wendy seemed to get excited and she quickly added on.

"Exactly! If anything the most important part about all of this is the fact that I have gained skills as a musician and gained a friend. That greatly outweighs any potential of success." Wendy has a bright smile on her face, happy to be able to call you a friend.

"That doesn't mean we don't want you guys to go ahead and share our music by the way." You joke light-heartedly. "It would mean a lot if you did."

"Now final question for this video! We've been talking too much." Wendy looks at her phone, unlike before she takes a couple seconds before reading the question aloud. "Uh, I think this should be fun to answer. "What do you want to do in the future together?" I think that obvious answer is to make more music!"

You chuckle at her answer before responding as well. "Going to each other's places to have a jam session doesn't sound bad, but hanging out in general is good. We'll definitely continue being friends, and if the reception for our collab is really good we might do another one? That is, of course, if Wendy is okay with that."

"I would be more than happy to do that. I was also thinking of forcing you to binge watch more shows and movies with me."

"Only if you stop hogging the popcorn. Anyways, I think this should be the end of our video. I highly encourage all of you to check-out Wendy's channel in a couple days. The day right before release we're going to be dropping one more video together! Bye-bye!" You wave a goodbye to the camera with a smile. Wendy joins you in your outro.

"See you guys soon!"

You go to turn your camera off as Wendy goes to gather her things. After turning off your lights you go to sit back down on your seat, importing the recently filmed footage to your computer. Wendy takes this moment to sit down next to you again.

"Again, thank you for your hard work!" She says it with a smile as she brings her hand on your arm. "I'm always amazed with the quality of your work and how quickly you can do it."

"No problem, I'll send the songs to you later for your feedback. We'll be able to post everything soon." You smile back at her and give her hand a comforting squeeze. A part of you wishes you could keep your hand there forever.

"Alright, well see you at my place soon!"

When you finally hear the click of your door closing you let out a sigh. You don't want to think about it. You don't want to face it.

You don't want to face the possibility that you've fallen.

#wendy x reader #son seungwan #rv x reader #red velvet imagines #red velvet scenarios #kpop au #kpop imagines #son seungwan x reader #rv wendy #girl group imaines #girl group scenarios #social media au #red velvet

[fiveisnumber1]

Hi! I love your writing and uhm I recently encountered a fic that looks a lot like yours? Maybe I'm just imagining things tho!! because I read the first chp of timeless so long ago. It's called "like a ghost", I'm sure you can find it on Tumblr, I think you should check it out yourself,, just wanted to let you know. Have a great day!

Yeah, I just went and read it and it is scarily similar which is quite concerning because I’ve put a lot of time and effort into crafting my story. I’m going to be honest, I’m shaking, my heart is racing, and I’m about to cry. This is my story beat for beat. Anyone who has read it knows this. I’ve worked really hard on timeless, I started writing this back in august, this is my happy labor of love and for this to happen...I’m just really distraught. For any of my followers here are just some plot points that are way too on the nose in my opinion (and these are direct quotes from “their” story):

“As time goes and the baby grows up, they start to notice something was odd. And then they discovered the baby's powers. Sometimes it unintentionally became invisible and they had a hard time finding it, sometimes it went through a wall, and sometimes an object went through it like there wasn't anything. They started to help their kid control it's powers, but it wasn't a simple task since they were just ordinary people.“

“A dark-haired boy was sitting in his room thoughtlessly looking from his window”

“Reginald held out his hand and you accepted it not saying anything."Tell me," he started, "what are your abilities?"You hastened but then you gave him an answer."I can become invisible, or go through walls and I can let things go through me."

“Five was walking down the hallway muttering to himself. "Idiot Klaus, why he has to poke his nose everywhere, now I-" he didn't finish because he bumped into something and fell on the floor. As you fell you lost focus and became visible again. At first, Five was confused about how it was possible to bump into something invisible, but then he noticed you lying on the floor.”

“You were regularly visiting the academy, learning how to control your powers and improve them. The only time when somebody knew about your presence was that bump accident with Five, but since then everything went well.”

"What are you doing here?" you asked. "I wanted to see you before you leave. Can we meet at Griddy's Doughnuts at 7 pm? If you know where it is," he asked shyly.”

"One plain, glazed for me," said Five. The waitress wrote the order to her notepad and left.”

“Since then you were seeing Five at Griddy's every day. The waitresses liked you and they often gave you some doughnuts for free. You talked about everything that came to your mind and you enjoyed each other's company. Five was enjoying the time you spent together. It was great having a friend that wasn't his sibling. It was so different and he liked it. But he wanted to spend more time with you and he came up with an idea.”

“It was almost seven o'clock and you were pulling the curtains when suddenly a voice came from the other end of the room."Good evening.""Jesus Christ!" you exclaimed scared. You turned around and saw Five leaning against your closet with a smirk on his face."Nah, just me," he replied nonchalantly."How did you get there?" you asked confused."I've got my ways."And then a new era of hangouts started. You were visiting each other's rooms and you spent even more time together than before”

"Yes I... I can make myself invisible, and go through walls or doors and things like that. I can also let objects go through me." you looked at Five, scared of how he would react.”

"When were you born?" "What?" you blurted. "When were you born?" he repeated his question. "Uh... October 1st, 1989 exactly at noon, why?" You were genuinely confused about why he wanted to know your birthday when he just discovered you had some superpowers. "Yeah that makes sense," he nodded muttered more to himself. "What are you talking about, Five?""I was born on the same day, the same year, and the same hour as you! And all my siblings too, and we have superpowers like you but different," he finally explained.

"Really? And I was scared that you'll freak out if I'll tell you about my abilities," you smiled. "What you can do?" you were curious. "Look," he said simply and then disappeared in a flash of blue light. You were looking at the place he disappeared in awe. Then he alerted you to his presence.”

“This was great, now you could be fully open to him and didn't have to hide your talents.”

It was too long for a direct quote but the reader plays a prank on Five’s siblings kind of in the same vein as how the reader in my story popped her head through Five’s chest to scare them

"Since all of my children most likely know about you, you will start training with them. At least it will be a new challenge for them. Training with an invisible opponent can advance their reflexes."

“Why didn't you tell us about her Five?" asked Allison. Five hastened. He didn't exactly know, he hadn't thought about it much. "I don't know," he said finally with a shrug. "Maybe because he loves her," exclaimed Klaus mockingly. "Shut your mouth," snapped Five. He suddenly felt hot and he didn't know what was that supposed to mean. Klaus laughed at his reaction.”

“After that, you were spending more time at the academy. You finally had the opportunity to meet Five's 'stupid siblings' as he liked to refer to them. You found out why Five liked Vanya and Ben the most. They were much calmer than Diego, Luther, and Allison, but you still liked them all. You met Grace, their robotic mom, and Pogo a chimpanzee who can speak to your amazement. You enjoyed being here because you could be yourself. You didn't have to hide your powers. You laughed with Klaus, spent time in the library with Five, listened to Vanya play the violin. You had deep talks with Ben, learned some tricks with knives with Diego, danced with Allison, or helped Luther with his workout. But your friendship with Five was the strongest. But time flies when you're having fun.”

“You were near the gates when Five rushed from the house, looking positively furious. You wanted to know what pissed him off so you ran after him because he was really fast in his fury. When you caught up with him you took him by the shoulder, so he can acknowledge your presence.”

"Not ready my ass..." muttered Five angrily. "Five!" you shouted at him, trying to get his attention. But he hasn't heard you. And there was another flash like before. Now it was snowing? You groaned and tried to get Five's attention once again.”

"Not now (y/n)!" He yanked his hand from your grip and disappeared in the same flash as the previous ones. "Ugh, screw you then,"

"Are you lost?" asked the woman with a worried look on her face. "No," you let out a nervous chuckle, "I live in here. With my aunt and uncle, are they in there?" You stood on your tiptoes so you can peek into the house. The woman looked even more concerned now. "Do you mean Mr. and Mrs. Harper? They moved out twelve years ago."

“You froze in shock. "What?" you blurted out in confusion. How much time passed? "What year is it?" "It's 2016..." she said.”

“You just simply couldn't be in 2016, it was 2002 minutes ago!”

“You were standing in the entrance hall for a few minutes, waiting for you to wake up from this horrible dream, but nothing happened. Any second now... "(y/n)?" you heard a shocked voice. You looked to the left and saw Grace, standing there with a duster, shocked expression on her face. "You're back," she said and put down the duster. She came to you and cupped your face in her hands. You gave up on the idea of you dreaming. This felt so real, it couldn't be just a fantasy. "Is somebody else here?" you asked. "Diego, Ben, Vanya, anybody?" "Oh," Grace sighed. "No, they all left some years ago. And Ben..." she looked sadly at you and you understood what she meant. You started shaking and you felt like there was some sort of pressure on your chest.”

“Nothing much changed, but then you looked at the fireplace and you saw a painting there. You looked up and froze once again. It was a painting of Five. You were looking up at it and then a wave of rage hit you.“

“His hand was turned palm up and he could see a tattoo on his forearm. It was the one they all got tattooed one day. The symbol of the umbrella academy. They really were his family. He felt a lump rising in his throat. He decided to go get his cart, but something caught his eye. He quickly rushed to it and he couldn't believe what he saw. It was you. You were much younger than the others. You looked like a teenager, just a few years older than he was. Your eyes were half-open, without a spark of life.”

“It was devastating seeing all of you dead. But the sight of your dead body was the worst for him. He carefully put your head down and stood up, not looking away from you. He had to find a way out. He had to prevent this from happening.”

“Since you don't have anywhere else to go, you can live there, but you will remain training and you will have a strict schedule, do you understand?"You snorted and said, "I won't be part of your silly academy.""I'm fully aware of that," he didn't look away from his papers, "Grace prepared a room for you."

#tua #the umbrella academy #umbrella acedmy #ua #umbrella academy #five hargreeves #tua five #five #tua five hargreeves #five hargreeves x you #five x reader #five hargreeves x reader #five x y/n #five x you