#wow this got a lot angstier than i expected

[iamjackstylerdurden]

ok but dennis’s hands shaking late at night while texting mac as johnny and he tells himself its bc the room is cold or hes stressed but its actually bc its getting more and more difficult to know where dennis ends and johnny begins. when johnnys texting mac all the things he loves about him but its really everything dennis loves about mac. and when mac texts all the things he loves about johnny its all the things he loves about dennis. because dennis made johnny just like him. he wants to be caught by mac because he cant catch himself. he knew from the start it wasnt sustainable. that wasnt the flaw in his plan, it was the climax

when he sees mac texted “gn ily” and for a second he prays mac sent it to his number and not johnnys. but he knows mac didnt bc mac already confessed and dennis said no. so macs trying to move on. when mac texts that and for a brief second dennis debates texting mac “i love u too” from his real number. he knows mac is in his bedroom. he wonders, if he did, how long it would be before he hears footsteps making their way to his door. what would be the first thing mac says as he makes eye contact with johnny for the first time

or when he sends mac to the motel and he sits outside of what he knows for a fact to be macs room. johnny texting excuses as to why hes not there while dennis is just feet away from the door. maybe once or twice he gets his hand on the handle before pulling back. the cold metal burning his skin like holy water hitting a demon (despite nothing about this being holy). sitting in his car in front of the window begging mac to look out the window. to see him. to recognize him. to make the first move bc dennis sure as hell cant

but he never texts “i love you” from his real number and mac never looks out the window and dennis never opens the door. so hes left there knowing exactly where mac is and a pretty good idea of what hes doing but never getting to be as happy as mac. bc mac is texting a fake man hes convinced hes going to have while dennis is texting the very real man hes convinced hes never going to have

always telling himself tomorrow. tomorrow he’ll go to macs bedroom or motel room and confess. lay out his soul and affection. but he can never make tomorrow happen. then mac has to go and tell everyone about johnny. and suddenly its real. mac is in schrodingers box and unknowingly blows it open and the universes collide. text mac and irl mac are one and dennis cant handle it so he doesnt get his grand confession. he gets his exasperated “i am him” but theres people around. he could maybe get his soul out in front of one person (one specific person) but not here at the bar in front of an audience (even if that audience is only one or two people)

so it ends. johnny doesnt exist (at least physically) and now mac knows. everyone pushes it behind them as some scheme abruptly ended as usual. no one pokes or prods at it too much bc why would they. so now that johnnys gone mac isnt tethered to anyone anymore and dennis has to sit through as mac uses his own system against him. so he has to make another elaborate private tactic because being another person is the closest dennis has ever got to being true to himself and mac. dear god he couldnt get anyones help with this because again, his soul only has room for one person. if he doesnt start something else this feeling with sit and sit and fester then die. he already has enough dead things inside of him and one more might start having consequences. he wonders if this is how mac felt all those years. if macs feelings festered and died. maybe he’ll never know

#iasip #macdennis #macden #wow this got a lot angstier than i expected #sorry abt formatting this is my brain throwing out words #mightve gotten too abstract idk i think i have adhd and just wrote whatever i thought #frank vs russia #frank vs russia changed my brain chemistry #help im doing character analysis outside of class #at least i stopped before i started making hannibal and succession references #stream of consciousness

[sevenmikento]

Hello! May i please request a jjk hc or imagine where the mc is yuujis childhood friend that can see curses and has a powerful curse technique?? Yuuji knew since they were kids but kinda forgot about it cuz he didn’t really understood and mc never tried to bring it up again to keep him safe. And after coming to tokyo when the sukuna thing happened- yuuji recommended his bestfriend to gojo so they could study together. Thank you so much!! 💕💕

A/N: omg okay so i distinctly remember receiving this request while i was in bed reading angsty haikyuu fics and then i was hit with such a big brain idea for this that i made a draft of it bc i knew i would forget otherwise. also omg im so sorry but i made this a lot angstier than expected but it has a happy ending!! ;––;

genres: angsty with a fluffy ending, hurt/comfort; 1.5k words

come with me [Itadori Yuuji X Reader]

“You’re moving?” you repeat the words just spoken to you, unafraid to let the disappointment in your voice show as you feel your bottom lip begin to quiver and the back of your eyes burn up in tears. “To Tokyo? So suddenly?”

As if the news couldn’t get worse: first you learn that Grandpa Itadori passed away and now your only friend is leaving. Not to mention the fact that in between all of this, your high school got wrecked in some kind of freak incident–though you know better… the school had always reeked of cursed energy. You’ve even had to deal with some cursed spirits on your own volition before morning practices just because you could never stand them staring at you from the corner of the volleyball court.

“Wow, is it just me or did it get a lot less stuffy in here?” you overheard your senior saying once. You wish you could brag about it, about your heritage and your accomplishments as a Jujutsu Sorcerer but you can’t, not without putting yourself and the people–the person–you love in danger.

“You’re my only family left,” you can’t help but blurt out, hanging your head in shame. Ah, you think to yourself, this is bad, I’m starting to beg, aren’t I? This is dangerous territory. “I thought we promised… we…” You stop yourself from completing the sentence but you both know each other well to understand exactly what you’re referring to.

Your parents had always told you to keep your emotions in check, to ensure everything you feel is always under your control. Cry if you must, be angry if you cannot help it, but never allow your heart to rule your head.

At least that’s what they used to say a lot before they ended up cremated in urns too heavy for you to carry together at the same time. You were ten.

‘I’m the only (L/N) left,’ you thought to yourself, unaware you’d spoken out loud. You were also not aware of the boy who’d just entered the room, dressed in a black shirt a bit too big for him, his cheeks covered in dried tears.

“No,” he huffed, sitting down beside you. “I won’t let you be alone. You aren’t the last (L/N).” He said, completely misunderstanding what you’d meant. He wasn’t wrong but ultimately, you were more worried about your Jujutsu heritage linked to the name rather than the name itself. “When we get married, I’ll take your surname.”

You said ‘okay’, too young to understand the significance of marriage. All you cared about was that he was there and you weren’t alone.

Yuuji remains silent, an immense wave of guilt washing over his body, leaving behind a sensation that is both hot and cold at the same time. Although you continue to cry silently, your arms still move, helping him fold his clothes and place them neatly in his luggage. Your hands tremble in a way he hadn’t seen ever since that fateful day so many years ago–the day of the promise… The one he will have to break.

He wishes with all his heart that he can tell you about the events that have occurred over the past two days. He wants nothing more than to just hug you to his chest and spill all the secrets he’s been burdened to keep: the existence of cursed spirits, the attack on the school… his transformation into the vessel of Sukuna. The execution. The compromise Gojou sensei made for him. The hell he’s chosen for himself.

When the white-haired Sorcerer offered the two choices to him and asked Yuuji to choose his hell, he very ignorantly assumed that hell was knowing when he was going to die. But now, as he watches you bid him a tearful farewell while you wear the sweater he left behind for you–knowing that, even though he promised to visit, he probably will not have the chance to–Yuuji realises this is the real hell.

“Yuu-cchi, there’s a monster!” you cried, hiding behind the boy who was merely a few months older than you, your small hands clenching tightly onto the sleeves of his shirt. He gazes around and sees nothing.

“Where?” he asks, his own arms held out in a defensive stance, ready to take any hit from any monster coming to hurt you.

“There! There!” you continued to sob in such genuine fear that even though Yuuji himself couldn’t see the monsters, a part of him knew you weren’t lying. Though, to be frank, even if you weren’t scared, he would’ve believed you anyway.

“Don’t be afraid, (Y/N)! I will keep you safe!” he declared, waving his fists around madly. “Where is he! I’ll beat him up!”

Huh.

“What’re you so deep in thought about?” Fushiguro Megumi’s voice snaps him out of his reverie, the defeated cursed spirit’s corpse dissolving into ash right before their eyes.

“Yeah, what are you thinking of?” Gojou butts in, wrapping an arm around Yuuji’s shoulders. “You looked all happy and dopey for a second then became all sad and depressed the next. Friendship problems? Or–OH! Relationship troubles?”

“No, it’s just…” Yuuji mumbles.

“I can’t sleepover this weekend.”

“Huh? Why not?”

“My parents want me to train.”

“Train?”

“Yeah, they’re teaching me Juju—Judo.”

“Eh? That’s too bad.”

“Just?” Gojou pushes, realising he’s very likely on the cusp of discovering his new student’s deep, dark secret. For a second, he thinks it’s to no avail but before he knows it, Yuuji’s grasping his arms and looking him dead in the eye (eye? blindfold?).

“I think there’s someone I need you to meet.”

“Oh?”

You curse under your breath as you hear footsteps echo from the floors beneath you. Right now? The stupid local delinquents want to explore this stupid building right as you’re on the edge of exorcising a stupidly strong cursed spirit? You can’t help but laugh humourlessly at your luck nowadays. It seems as though ever since Itadori Yuuji left your life, you’ve been doing nothing but exorcise spirits. Maybe you’re just bored and have nothing to do or maybe you’ve become a magnet for spirits with your increased levels of cursed energy.

“I’ll visit you when I have the time,” he said. But you knew he was lying. Just by looking at his dumb face you could tell he never intends on coming back.

A bitter taste crawls up the back of your throat and the cursed spirit cackles, elated by the frustration emitting off of you. You just know that if you could read its mind, it’ll be thinking of how powerful it could become by consuming you.

“Not a chance, you fuck!” you snap, feeling the familiar sensation of warmth crawl up your body as you harness all of your cursed energy to both your hands. Blue flames ignite from the centre of your palms, as you utilise your cursed technique: “Hinokagatsuchi!”

You charge towards the cursed spirit, ready to melt its skull into nothingness when a familiar voice calls out your name.

“(Y/N)!” Yuuji’s fist reaches the spirit before your technique can, the force of his punch so immense that it slams the corpse of your foe into a wall, forming a crater of shattered concrete.

“Hinokagatsuchi, huh?” A man with stunningly white hair walks into the room. “Haven’t heard that one in a while. “Are you from the (L/N) clan, by any chance?”

Before you can respond, a pair of warm hands clasp your face firmly but with a notable tenderness. The same hands that Itadori Yuuji used to kill a cursed spirit with a single punch now cradled your head, his thumbs carefully caressing your cheeks.

“Are you okay? Did you get hit? Are you injured anywhere?” he frets, his fingers combing through your hair before he pulls you close, hugging you to his firm chest.

From behind you, the white-haired man whispers: “actually I think your friend had it very much under control.” But he goes ignored.

“I’m sorry, I should’ve realised it sooner. I should have told you everything.” Yuuji presses his lips to the crown of your head. “I… I should have come clean and it would have spared us both the pain.” He laughs humourlessly. “I feel like a real dumbass, not realising what you’ve been hiding all these years even after I get dragged into the Jujustu world myself.”

Everything is happening so quickly, you find yourself rendered utterly speechless. Is he really here? Did he just kill a cursed spirit with a single blow? How did that man know about your family?

Your hands slowly creep up his back as you wrap you arms around him and close your eyes, relishing in the warmth of his body and the familiarity of his scent. He hasn’t even been gone for more than a week and yet you feel as though a lifetime of loneliness had been cured with just his return.

“I love you…” you can’t help but admit, though you have a feeling it wasn’t very much of a secret to begin with.

“I love you, too,” Yuuji replies, kissing you on head once more. “Come with me. Come with me to Tokyo, to the same Jujutsu school. Teach me everything you know and become stronger with me.”

#jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jjk #itadori yuuji x reader #itadori yuuji #yuuji x reader #scenarios #imagines #fluff #angst #happy ending #hurt/comfort

[keorami]

Wow uh- I didn't expect people to actually like my writing that much, thanks you guys! I actually had another idea since I recently saw a post about a duo I actually enjoy a lot. So expect a LOT of fluff this time too and a little bit of angst! Nevermind I accidentally made it a bit angstier than expected

Since Dream was rescued by Techno and the Syndicate, he hadn't been doing much. Well, it was a mix of wasn't allowed to and couldn't do much. It apparently had taken an alarming amount of healing potions to reverse the damage from... the prison, and the toll it had taken on his body had him sleeping for a week straight. At least that's what Phil told him because he barely remembered any of it. It was the best sleep he had in a while though.

As of now he's still very weak, and was only allowed to walk around the house, but he barely left his room anyway. He knows Techno told him to make himself at home but... he hasn't lost yet.

"So, how are you doing Dreamie~?"

He came here today too. Why did he expect or hope otherwise?

Dream often played a game with him. He had to guess whether he was allowed to speak when asked a question. It wasn't his favorite game, but at least there was someone else to play with.

He chose to stay quiet.

"Dreamie, it's rude to ignore people when they ask you a question~"

Looks like he lost again. He wasn't very good at the game.

"Looks like I have to teach you again hm~?"

With every loss, comes the penalty.

He hadn't lost so far. He can't risk it.

So he just stays in his room, and writes. He knows he's allowed to do that. His memory still isn't the best, so he brought his diary with him.

Neither Techno nor Phil asked about what was inside. He was glad for that. He hopes they won't take it away from him.

He doesn't write about much though. There is very little stimulation in his room, and the only interesting thing is when Techno (or Phil, when he comes over) comes into his room to feed him and have a one-sided conversation with him. It's still better than prison though. Anything is better than prison.

It's almost time for lunch. Techno told him that he was going to be out the whole day with Phil and as such, couldn't bring him food today. That's fine, he's used to go without food for days, this is nothing.

So yeah, no one was supposed to knock at his door today. Which is why he jumped about a foot in the air when it actually happened. Who was it? Is Techno back earlier? But he would have told him it was him by now. Whoever was at the door has been silent the entire time. Is this another game? What should he do?

He hasn't heard them leave yet, do they know he's here? Should he speak up after all? But what if they get angry because he took too long to answer?

Looks like his time mulling it over would be cut short, as he suddenly had purple particles flying in his face. He knew what that meant.

"Hi, Boo."

Sure enough, once the particles dissipated, the tall, lanky figure of the enderman hybrid was looming over him. He knew for a fact that it was his Boo: Ranboo wasn't very good at teleporting yet.

He missed him, if he had to be honest. He missed him a lot. Boo was his friend, and he didn't have to play games with him. He could just... be.

"Boo?"

Dream still doesn't know why he stopped visiting back then. Maybe it was something he did. Maybe Boo just got sick of him. Or maybe he was just too busy to come visit. He hopes it was the last one.

Boo is crying.

He takes a moment to be surprised because what could he be crying about? Did something happen?

Then instincts he thought he had buried deep inside him resurfaced once more because Boo was crying and it was burning him.

Getting up from the bed took a lot more effort than Dream would have liked, and so did walking up to the ender hybrid- that still hadn't moved from his spot. He lightly dabbed at his scarred cheeks with the sleeve of his shirt.

"You're okay Boo."

And maybe it wasn't the right thing to say, because Boo just collapses on him and Dream barely avoids hitting the floor. Arms wrap around him and hold him tight; he both fears and craves the touch.

"I was so worried. I missed you so much."

Oh.

He can't believe it. He can't let himself believe it. That Boo was still his friend. That he still cared. That he didn't turn against him, abandoned him betrayed him tried to kill him-

He didn't believe it. So why...

"It's okay, I'm here now."

Why was he hugging back? Why was he comforting him? He never learned his lesson, did he? Here he was, caring and getting attached again. He will lose Boo just like he lost everyone else.

His hand instinctively went to ruffle Boo's hair, a practiced gesture that feels familiar yet completely new to him.

'Boo seems to like it when I run my hand through his hair. He says it helps him relax and feel safe.

That implies that he feels safe with me. It feels... nice? No one felt safe with me in a while. Granted, it's mostly my fault, but pushing them away was necessary. For their safety. For my plan. I wish I didn't h

I wonder when I'll have to push him away as well.'

Dream closes his diary and puts it back in the chest. He's noticing gaps in his memory and it's scaring him. Is the prison getting to him already? How long has it been?

Later on his diary would be thrown in the lava by Tommy, and that was when he started forgetting more. He gets a new one. He forgets that it wasn't the first one.

He doesn't know how long they've been at this, but eventually Boo stops crying and is calmed down enough that he lets go of him.

"I will wake up soon."

Ah.

Of course he will. Boo could never stay for long and most of his time was spent crying and getting comforted. Dream shouldn't feel so gutted. He knew this.

"You should go then."

Ranboo doesn't like him already, it's better if they don't interact any more than they have to.

"Not yet."

"Boo."

"I don't want to."

Maybe, just maybe, he kind of understands how Phil feels when either him or Techno is being difficult. Kind of.

"Please. You have to go."

He's not exactly fond of begging because when had it helped him before?, but whatever gets Boo to let go of him and just leave. The stupid stubborn little giant bastard.

"Just a bit longer."

It takes a surprising amount of restrain to not sigh. That's the best he's gonna get, isn't he?

"Just a bit then."

(Frankly, Techno had been worried about leaving Dream alone for so long, no matter how much Phil reassured that it would be fine. Between that and his chat screaming at him, you can't blame him for wanting to check on his friend- yes chat, Dream was his friend- as soon as they got back.

He expected many things upon opening the door, even the worst scenarios.

Dream and Ranboo sleeping on the floor with the latter's head on the former's lap was not one of them. To say he was confused was an understatement.

"Heh???"

Phil however, takes it in stride and simply closes the door again.

"Let's leave them be.")

#dreblr #ranblr #endersmile #endersmileblr #does it even exist #oh well #btw dream and boo are speaking in ender #ending is rushed #AGAIN #how is this so fucking long #i simply refuse to read this again: the sequel #so no beta we die like l'manberg

[nobody-knose--archive]

so guess who bought complete demos today on a whim

yeah i wasn’t expecting this one to be over as quickly as it was either. have your liveblog

-complete demos. i bought it today & already forgot the tracklist. listening to it on the mp3 player i got for hmcrmshcidshdamsth because why not. makes pausing/typing easier that's why

-who the heck just coughed

-good lord the mixing is. and boy that's steve drumming isn't it. wow

-i mean we've got the stereo panning just like ever but this is incredibly rough. they are true babies aren't they

-oh those flutes are amazing what the hell. can people stop yelling in my individual ears

-and there's the rough megaphone. it's so incredibly clear that these aren't studio recordings but like. still tally hall!

-i think i'm finding many of these a little too funny but gotdam you're pitchbending your own voice do you really expect that to not sound so goofy at such a high pitch

-oh we're not slowing down at all, this is the same tempo as before for sure

-the flipping around audio channels is very not good at all when it comes to disguising the cuts between takes

-a sculptor you say? (is that one in the later versions? i don't remember it at all)

-nothing but rob's voices in the background and maybe 1 or two from red. no ross bits whatsoever. that's wild

-quick move into the greener intro and even quicker movement into greener itself

-well those are extra harmonies. interesting that they removed them for later versions because they're not bad, maybe a little out of place though

-honestly the biggest difference in steve vs ross drumming seems to be more a difference in the quality of the drums themselves. or the recording software but that applies to everything in this album

-it's painfully obvious that everything was recorded in really different circumstances & not mixed professionally and yep. complete demos alright. not inaccurately named in the slightest

-reminds me of the beta versions of g&e songs we heard live before they appeared on the album, makes me wonder if we could've gotten an admittedly complete demos for g&e somehow

-anyway these little different synths-

-hello there rob. alternate bridge. i have remembered this is a thing. something about tissues? a shoulder to cry on? cool

-yeah the little different synths do capture my attention from time to time

-and a basic piano for the outro? huh. sure gives it a different tone alright

-hm? who's that right at the end there- ooh! wtth time! and this still has steve in it doesn't it?

-generally more enthusiasm when it comes to that T, wonder what lost him attention in later years

-boy is that beatboxing weirdly mixed.

-lawn

-well this chorus is actually rather snazzy. the vocals seem better mixed than anything else i've heard in this album

-"who's to blame?" that's like the 4th time now i've heard someone's random voice that i can't recognize. ...it couldn't be steve, could it? i am now aware i have absolutely no clue what his voice sounds like but that seems like it could fit. hm

-zubin sounds really unenthusiastic here. just faintly unenthusiastic all over the place. still sounds more like "badiggle" than anything else

-oh shit they're falling down a well

-red's bit is hella unchanged other than the direct invasion of my individual ears & extra megaphone useage (i really wish the megaphone became more of a tally icon than it did but that's neither here nor there)

-it's rather more barebones though. less andrew keys in general. the calliope-reminiscent synth he uses is different i suppose.

-they did more stuff with funny crowd voices i think i've noticed. playing around with falsetto, as a college band dude might do

-ok yeah steve is a worse drummer. don't ask me what made me change my mind but i did

-wow a crowd that can consistently clap on the 1-2-3-4? how utterly unrealistic

-no wonky wild & weird intro to taken for a ride because i don't think it's on this album. understandable, i can't imagine what sort of wild hell the vocoder would be if it was attempted this early in its lifespan

-1st 2 piano chords of just apathy has me thinking of i know your name (deporitaz ver.) which is certainly as good a start to a song as any

-extended piano intro has me thinking of the ending of mold en mono but nope here's rob's voice to completely knock that impression out of the water

-ohoho? rob cantor swearing momence? i hadn't realized there'd be this many lyric changes

-interestingly enough this track doesn't seem horrendously mixed so far- nevermind that guitar/piano together is way too loud

-the guitar itself does have a pretty cool unique sound. obviously they hadn't had any access to string instruments at this point so given that those're the main thing separating this song from your average sade rock ballad there aren't a whole lot of notable differences here other than said guitar

-very different tone to this lil bridge. faintly reminiscent of weezer but it's not like i know anything about weezer

-sounds like the same synth from wtth being used in the bg there. what, did they have just that limited a selection so as to need repetition that frequently, or did they really like how it sounds? hard to tell with 200 (uhhhh) 4 college band dudes

-and right into two wuv. yes i had heard there's no haiku in this one but i forget what else will be missing. not sure if anything else will other than hidden in the sand. they would have ruler of everything, right? and a track that appears here but not any other albums? something like that i think

-more of that piano in the bg and more of mildly unenthusiastic zubin singing. different melody for said singing but it's not much of a secret that these guys were more untrained vocalists at this time

- .subsides?

-this chorus sounds significantly more laid-back than the later version

-the extra piano part sure moves this piece way further away from "rock love song" & way closer to "andrew horowitz song", especially that lil flourish where a bee buzzing might otherwise be

-ooh! andrew! he speaks! so does zubin! this song's two olsen boys coming in for a weird bridge bit! hell yeah oh this is adorable

-"because there's 2 of them :}"

-hm. are they actually just removing various parts because they don't have the technological capabilities to do a straight fadeout here? got dam

-i suppose letting zubin do a final solo-ish cadence works too

-uh- say it ain't so‽ w. no this is stationary love, the song that appeared here & nowhere else. cool, cool. strange but cool i guess

-i guess that can explain the multitude of weezer comparisons made for these lads. it's certainly there. honestly andrew was the only thing keeping them from being true weezer successors

-pure acoustic guitar thus far. this is my first time hearing this song of course & it seems like a pretty typical rob "homophonic heterophobic" cantor song

-nothing but acoustic guitar. nothing but rob vocals. nothing but alloromanticism. guess what! it's not my cup of tea! however i can't help but think if this song was worked on more, fixed up a la either mmmm release, with some more andrew/red touches, i could enjoy it some more

-not even any drumming. the simplicity could easily explain why it wasn't played live very often at all

-so the next thing i expect is some very funky & very weird spring and a storm which should highlight steve's (worse) drumming more than anything else i'm sure

-nevermind banana man's just getting slapped directly in here out of order compared to the later mmmm releases. this version i have indeed heard before because it's the version used in the music video

-therefore i have very little to say about it i haven't said on any of the other banana men. or other tracks on this album. the intrusions of vocal harmonies seem jarring because they're not mixed professionally, an effect that's only enhanced by the stereo panning & intense reverb

-this song really didn't change all that much over its lifespan, did it? vocal flairs were redone, but relatively few harmonies were added/removed, i don't think things like the bridge(s) were modified severely. not as noticeably as any of the other songs, at the very least

-i'm pretty sure i can hear andrew's voice in there but beyond that this is severely unsettling

-back to the chorus wahoo. relievingly  familiar territory

-get out of my left ear hawaiian guitar- wait a minute are my earbuds on wrong

-no i'm good

-oh holy shit i forgot this had to be somewhere didn't it‽ i know it's just the same! ok ok

-i've heard this one but only because i had no idea it was from complete demos, it's like rather polished too so i had never considered it would be on an unpolished album like this. i also had no idea that was goddam steve drumming in there too hot damn

-and this is the only recording of it‽ that's wild i always thought it was redone at some point & just kinda. manifested in one of the vague ways miscellaneous high quality tally hall songs do

-it's another romance one but the guitar arpeggios and extra layers give it a pass in my book. man i should watch the music video for it shouldn't i

-i still think it's utterly wild how tally hall played this at an actual high school's homecoming once. wouldn't that just blow your mind

-there's not a major difference between how it's performed here & what i've heard of it in from the occasional live performance, which is making me realize i should watch more live performances of this song

-angstier prequel to hidden in the sand

-or sidequel maybe. depends really. we can tell whatever stories we like

-did my hidden in the sand sotry come out of the queue yet? i feel like i queued it a while ago but also like y'all would've said something if you'd seen it

-bit slow paced innit. much like everything else in this album, it would have gained much from a professional studio treatment, but its mixing & general quality is still surely the best out of everything i've heard so far

-working your falsetto there aren't you my dude? ooh boy

-ruler of everything.... so no spring & a storm? >{

-yeah. ok. weird glockenspiel. almost sounds like a music box

-no vocoding either! i just realized that's a thing here! curious. and... those are some heavily wonky sfx in the background

-who's singing those aaaaas anyway? it's not a chorus which i thought could surely be handled and there's really minimal reverb too; strange considering not only is reverb a jh trademark but easily doable here

-the piano synth used is mostly identical to the 05 mmmm- oh holy shit there's different lyrics & they're being beamed directly into my skull

-even more nonsensical & it's because you can hear them hella easily too. that backwards segment did not need to go on as long as it did. also

-so no zubin vocals? >{

-slapping 5 billion vocal effects on doesn't make up for a lack of the best singer in this damn band

-especially because he sounds reminiscent of goddam fred. being fred before fred was even a thing. oh how accursed

-quiet down your guitars when you're singing shouting through a megaphone if you please

-and there's the earstrain-ass reverb + vocoding on the flibbity jibber jabber reprise. i feared as much would happen. doesn't sound horrible i just need to turn down the volume on my mp3 player

-honestly thing whole thing isn't bad at all in the sense that it's mostly just strongly different from the later versions & lacks zubin

-lease stop yelling though my dude schwiggling your voice like that isn't always a good thing at high volumes

-is that the end? are we.... at the end? i heard that's the name of some song from like sketches or something

-no. how silly of me to assume as much. anyway my dude needs to fix up his ukulele this one sounds like shit

-no vocal effects makes me realize how few times we got this one live-

-now what would you call a wonky little transition like that? puts a smile on my face, even if it does take me by surprise at the same time

-but at least one of the times this was done live featured casey shea

-now for the love of god i already hate the ending of something glowing (view-monster) for its weird-ass asmr finale don't reverse someone's cough & twiddle your ukulele strings directly into my right ear to end an otherwise really nice version of hidden in the sand if you please. oh mama mia. good night

#tally hall #loolin liveblogs #joe is mentioned sometimes but not by name fyi #tis i #as usual it's recommended that you listen to the album in question as you read to get a better idea of the context #because 9 times out of 10 i won't tell you it #i feel like i come off as slightly negative for much of this. what can i say complete demos is an album of amateur demos #the songs aren't as good as their later counterparts by nature & that's all i ever have to say #to the world and back again

[heartbreaknow]

Trapped or Stranded

No | rather not | I dunno | I guess | Sure | Yes | FUCK yes | Oh god you don’t even know |

I’m here for this trope, but I’m only moderately enthusiastic, and I think that’s because it removes Peter and Tony from the context of society. And the societal context of their relationship is something I’m really into. That hyper-awareness of what it looks like from the outside. “How obvious is it I’m in love with him? How obvious is it I want to touch him? Am I hiding it well enough? People would be disgusted if they could see what’s in my head.” All that kind of stuff.

So truth be told, when I think about stranded fics, I mostly think about the theoretical second half of the fic, where they make it back to civilization, and instead of a happy ending, everything just gets angstier and more complicated. Because they got used to being a certain way with each other when they were alone and completely reliant on each other, and now suddenly they’re not alone anymore, and they have to try to go back to how things were before—but it all feels intensely wrong now, like something is being ripped away from them. And also maybe they’re a bit traumatized from whatever they went through while stranded, so they need to take comfort in each other now more than ever, but they feel like they can’t. Basically, yes, all the angst please. Just keep adding angst. I’ll take my angst on the rocks, if you can do it. 🥃😲

Shout-out to Practical Results by the Is This Thing On? Anon, which is obviously fantastic, and gives me the “return to civilization” angst I so crave.

Fucking By Proxy

No | rather not | I dunno | I guess | Sure | Yes | FUCK yes | Oh god you don’t even know |

I love this trope when it’s done just right. However, I will borrow part of @learned-foot’s answer and say that I’m very monoshippy, so this trope can go wrong pretty easily for me. I have two basic tenets for this trope that determine whether I’m going to like it.

1. Neither Peter nor Tony can be genuinely attracted to the proxy. The narrative has to be clear on the fact that, secretly, they both just want each other.

2. If it’s Peter’s first time, the proxy can’t fuck Peter. 🍆🚫

Shout-out to Proxy by @cagestark​, which is delightful, and is kind of the quintessential Starker fucking by proxy fic. 

Wings

No | rather not | I dunno | I guess | Sure | Yes | FUCK yes | Oh god you don’t even know |

I’m not opposed to wingfic, but it doesn’t really have any immediate appeal for me, either. I liked wingfic when I was in the Sherlock fandom, but to me, giving the Avengers wings is just...kind of gilding the lily? Like, they already have superpowers, and some of them are already magic. Giving them wings doesn’t make them any more special or interesting, it just feels like one more sort of discordant fantastical element in a story that’s already full of crazy, wild elements. But that’s just me. 

A/B/O

No | rather not | I dunno | I guess | Sure | Yes | FUCK yes | Oh god you don’t even know | 

Oh boy, okay, so I have a lot of feelings about ABO. A LOT of feelings. Those feelings range from “Kill it with fire” all the way to “This is the only thing I want to fantasize about for the rest of my life.”

Things about ABO I love include heat!sex, knots, self-lubricating butts, all the best parts of size-kink and none of the buzzkill aspects—and sometimes mpreg.

OTOH, noncon and abusive ship dynamics are big squicks for me. Also, gender essentialism makes me intensely ragey. So that’s where the “kill it with fire” feelings sometimes come in—because obviously those elements can be pretty significant aspects of ABO.

I have read a ton of ABO, though, and generally my positive feelings about it very much outweigh my negative feelings about it. For all that I’ve been profoundly squicked out by ABO on twenty separate occasions, I’ve also…uh, very much enjoyed ABO on many, many occasions. Lol. And since I’m here talking about ABO anyway...

The Much Abbreviated Version of My ABO Headcanon That Absolutely No One Asked For (warning for Mpreg):

I, uh…may have a wildly self-indulgent four-thousand word ABO “imagine” in my Starker folder, in which Peter and Tony get stuck in the lab on lockdown, and Peter goes into an early heat (probably due to spending so much time with the virile alpha he desperately wants to fuck him). They try really hard to control themselves but for ~some reason~ Peter’s pheromones are flying particularly fast and thick for that heat, and they end up fucking wildly.

Afterwards Tony guilt-spirals and holds Peter at arm’s length for weeks. Then Peter goes off to MIT and doesn’t realize he’s pregnant for five months because lol male Omegas don’t get pregnant—except surprise! Male spider Omegas apparently do!

As the months pass, Peter and Tony feel increasingly run-down, on-edge, and desperate to be around each other. It’s some kind of “parenthood drive” that expecting A/O pairs have. But they can’t be around each other because Peter is going to MIT, and also because Tony doesn’t trust himself to be alone with Peter anymore.

Eventually the pieces click into place in Peter’s mind that, as crazy as it is, he might be knocked up. He panics and hides the pregnancy, because Mr Stark can’t know; he’ll feel responsible and it’ll ruin his life and it’ll ruin the relationship they’ve slowly managed to put back together after what happened during the lab lock-down that summer. Plus, it’s not like he can just go to a hospital. What’s he gonna do, be like, “Hey, I’m a guy but I think I might be knocked up, also I’m Spider-Man, please don’t tell anyone”? (Peter has a retroverted uterus and really strong abs, so he doesn’t show very much. He wears sweaters constantly. Just go with it.) Whump, angst, angst, whump. Peter is really not okay by this point; Tony’s not doing so hot either. A/O biology really, really does not approve of Alphas and Omegas spending almost an entire pregnancy apart. More whump. More angst. (But also Peter still being strong and resilient despite everything.)

And then, possibly, Peter goes into labor six weeks early and gives birth quite suddenly on a jet. Because lol, why not. It also may or may not be a complete surprise to everyone on said jet who is not Peter. And also a little bit of a surprise to Peter, because, like, he’s only ever had sex the one time, in heat or otherwise, and 32 weeks is not nine months, so this really should not be happening now, he thought he had time, wtf wtf wtf.

Also, in the end, Pepper (who hasn’t been with Tony for years) adopts the baby, because she wants a child and has had difficulty conceiving. And because Peter very much isn’t ready to be a parent, and isn’t even sure if he wants to be. And Tony is very, very okay with that. He may be almost fifty but he’s not ready to suddenly be a parent either—even though he loves Peter and he would love their baby if keeping it was what Peter wanted.

It is the iddiest fic of all the fics, and very much not on-brand for me, but wow I want it, don’t judge me. 👀

(Also, obviously, someone who likes kidfic more than I do could have them keep the baby. I just have a personal thing where I’m 1. not very into kidfic, and 2. squicked by “unplanned parenthood” story lines.)

#ask meme #starker #starker fic ideas #a/b/o headcanons #vaguely nff? #peter x tony #fanfic things #rambling at length #iddy headcanons #i know my opinions are not that exciting #but i'm sharing them anyway #because boredom

[wheredidhiseyebrowsgo]

Hello I was wondering if you know any Sterek fics where Stiles is enemies with the Hale pack or just Derek but after spending time together they start to trust each other (preferably an AU) the angstier the better

Hey @e-mm-s, here’s some enemies to lovers. - Anastasia

The Curve of Your Clavicle by WhoNatural

(1/1 I 6,264 I Teen)

Derek isn’t an uptight person - seriously, for an alpha, he’s downright laid-back - but something about Stilinski makes him want to bare his teeth and grasp him by the scruff and bite.

No, not bite. That would be incredibly inappropriate, of course - and Derek plus the legal department are aware of that. Anyway, the point is, Stilinski needs to be kept in line.

Or, wherein Derek's office rival might be the same person keeping him sane at night when the loneliness hits.

Where to Search for Snow by suburbanmotel

(1/1 I 8,594 I Mature)

Stiles and his Gigantic Repressed Feelings accidentally affect the weather. A lot. Like. A lot.

//

“It’s snowing, Stiles,” says Derek.

Stiles looks up. He nods. “Yeah. Yeah it is.”

Derek looks at him. “It’s snowing, Stiles. In your bedroom.”

bend bridges, mend bones by Thealmostrhetoricalquestion

(1/1 I 20,588 I Mature)

They burst through the portal in a gust of stale air and violet light, landing hard on the outskirts of a swamp. Stiles feels his knees buckle, both from the magic required to keep the portal open and from the force of their landing, but he grits his teeth, determined to stay standing in the presence of Derek Hale and his pack. Christ, it would be just his luck to rocket through his own portal at neck-breaking speeds and collide face-first with a puddle of sticky, disgusting mud.

Thankfully that doesn’t happen, which is good because Stiles can’t really afford to add useless to the list of things that Mage’s are; untrustworthy cowards, meddlers, monsters.

(In which there's an awful lot of fighting, people learn to trust people, and Stiles saves the day. Repeatedly. Over and over again. And he would like some credit, goddamnit, Derek.)

Tchaikovsky’s Nightmare by fshep 

(1/1 | 30,089 | Mature)

After a week of rehearsal, Stiles is convinced that there’s no way this production is going to end in anything other than misery.Beacon Hills Classical Ballet Academy performs a variation of Swan Lake where all of the swans are males, forcing Stiles to partner up with Derek Hale. Things go about as well as one would expect.

Five Times Detective Stilinski and Fire Captain Hale Had Sex In Public, and One Time They Did It In A Bed by bleep0bleep

(7/7 I 32,853 I Explicit)

"Did you say--" Stiles starts.

"What?" Derek growls.

"We're not a couple!" they both retort in unison.

"We're not together," Stiles insists.

Lydia coughs pointedly. "An incident report filed by 87th Precinct Captain Erica Reyes. March twenty-fifth, eight p.m. Came back to the precinct to grab my coat, only to hear Stilinski banging his new boyfriend in the holding cell."

Knot Your Typical College Romance by stilesanderek

(5/5 | 51,546 | Explicit)

In which Stiles loves studying at Beacon Hills Supernatural University and even though he loves his group of friends, he just wishes that Derek wasn’t included in it. Stiles hates the guy fiercely, and he knows it’s completely mutual, and what he also knows it’s completely mutual is the hate boner they both have going on for each other. What happens after they finally hookup after years of tension, though, isn’t something Stiles ever signed up for.“Shut the fuck up, Stilinski,” Derek hisses, their foreheads less than half a dozen of inches apart.“Oh yeah, big guy?” Stiles says, stuffing his chest in defiance, licking his mouth once and then finally saying, “Make me.”

Married at First Glance by WonderWolf

(14/14 I 63,558 I Explicit)

“Those contracts that you signed was you agreeing to follow producer instructions.Your instructions were to give us drama. Whether or not you like each other, you are, for all intents and purposes, hired actors for these seven weeks,” Finstock snaps. “Pretend to actually like each other or I will dock your pay.”- - -Married at First Glance gives its participants seven weeks. Seven weeks, starting when they meet and marry their “perfect match”, to decide if they want to stay married or divorce.

For Stiles and Derek though, the challenge lies within trying to pretend that they don’t absolutely hate each other’s guts. When you’re married to a werewolf who dislikes humans, however, this can get a little tricky.

But the sweet, sweet cash reward at the end will be worth it. Right?

(A Married at First Sight AU)

Words Cannot Espresso How Much You Bean to Me by isthatbloodonhisshirt (wasterella)

(1/1 I 68,366 I Teen)

“You’re late,” Derek informed him coldly, jaw clenched. He barely even moved his mouth to speak. This guy was seriously scary.

And because Stiles was suicidal, he said, “No, I’m Stiles.”

The look he got could’ve curdled milk. Stiles even noticed that Derek’s muscles were tensing, arms bulging even more and wow this guy was scary and hot but mostly scary holy shit.

“You’re not funny,” Derek informed him coldly.

Stiles shrugged. “I think that’s a matter of opinion.”

Be a Witness by Gia279

(31/31 I 104,639 I Not Rated)

“Hello, Stiles,” Headmaster Reed said. He had an uncanny memory for students’ names.

“Hello, sir,” he replied.

"When was the last time you summoned?”

Stiles shifted in his seat. “This morning.”

“Who or what were you contacting?”

He shifted around again. “My mother.”

Enemy Lines by qhuinn (tekla)

(17/17 I 149,179 I Explicit)

This is the story of werewolf Derek Hale and human Stiles Stilinski: two people who grew up in the same town but completely different worlds, their realities split by the war between men and wolves.

Years later when Derek returns to Beacon Hills, he does it as Alpha of a military pack on a mission to capture those responsible for the region’s resistance. With his main objective, Sheriff Stilinski, out of sight, he settles for the next best thing: his son, Stiles.

Neither of them suspects they’ll need to trust each other if they want to make it out this alive.

#teen wolf #sterek #stiles stilinski #derek hale #enemies to lovers #e-mm-s

[lucispietate]

Dear Hurt/Comfort Exchange writer

Hello, fellow writer! First of all, I really want to thank you in advance for taking up the challenge to make something for me, I appreciate it so much. I really enjoy being surprised (especially with pairings where Canon leaves a lot to the imagination and everyone has their own headcanon) so you're absolutely free to write anything you wish and mostly take this letter as suggestions if you need inspiration.

I don't have much to say for likes, I have some fandom specific ones but overall I'm fine with anything. I tend to love heavy introspection, conflicted relationships and angst with an happy ending/bittersweet tone, but I'm really fine with anything. I also want to point out that you're free to combine my tags/prompts however you wish and that while I didn't bother to include "both hurt" for any of these ships, it's absolutely always allowed. As for dislikes: - any kind of dub con and on page rape unless otherwise specified. I can accept harassment and such, but not too graphic - AUs, especially fluffy modern AUs and supernatural ones (Canon divergence within the original universe is fine and encouraged) My only real exception is Romeo and Juliet where I do enjoy modern AUs as long as they still keep the violence/hate/gang war element of the play - sex described in any detail. I'm not bothered by it and I don't mind allusions, jokes or fade to black, but the scenes itself hold no interest for me - cheating (jealousy is fine and so is crushing on more than one person at once with all the guilt it entails, as long as it leads to poly, healthy or not, or stays a frustrated wish) - unrequited love that doesn't get resolved either by the two getting together or the pining person finding their true love - eating disorders or tbh even dwelling on appearance related insecurity is a no no

GOTHAM

I want to preface I'm a DC newbie, so I can't really appreciate crossovers or influence from other media and I wouldn't want futurefic, especially not involving BatCat, I just want to see them as kids For BatCat I would prefer something set between season 1 and the first few episodes of season 3, before they start their weird on/off relationship. The one exception would be the killing for the first time prompt, in relation to what Bruce does in the beginning of season 4, and that horrible plot line with Selina's mom since it's such an ansgt/hurt comfort goldmine . I think canon offers a lot of possibilities with them already, they do a lot of rescuing each other and I'd like anything that is cute and sweet. Something from their time living on the street together would be adorable too.

For Selina/Bridgit I would be happy with anything: a cute moment of them living on the streets as kids, Selina helping Bridgit to work through Dr Strange's conditioning, or something angstier while Bridgit still thinks she's a goddess and Selina her servant and Selina trying to show how much affection as she can while in that framework and things that blur the lines between comfort and act of service/worshipping like washing, taking of care of poor little Bridgit's burns etc.

For Oswald/Ed... Wow, there's so much potential. Any moment from their first meeting, a What If where Oswald regrets his deeds and decides to thaw Ed himself and then nurse him back to health, the two of them adopting Martin... Anything really, I haven't read much on these two

GAME OF THRONES

What I want with Yara/Dany is mostly something to give me joy after that godawful ending. So I would love something set post ending, with Dany being exiled/imprisoned, in a terrible mental state and only Yara who's still loyal/taking care of her. Though also Yara coming to terms with her last brother's death would be something wonderful

SIX OF CROWS

No particular ideas here. Any moment pre—book with them getting hurt in missions, Inej's first kill, the tattoo removal, or something like what happened in the prisoner cart, with Kaz having a serious breakdown and Inej being the only one to notice and try to comfort him, knowing most of her instinctive reactions would make everything worse because of his issues

INHERITANCE CYCLE

Murtagh and Nasuada are my childhood otp and I would honestly squeal to get anything at all about them would make me giggly. I like the idea of an AU where Murtagh is rescued early with baby Thorn in a tow before Galbatorix can completely break them with the torture, or something more emotional/psychological post saga, where they must help each other heal from their Shared Trauma and mental issues they both seem to have in the last few chapters. If and only IF you feel like it, this is the one fandom where I am ok with sexual abuse as a past event as I used to occasionally write Galbatorix as having had a relationship with Morzan in their former days and viewing Murtagh as a replacement in more than one sense.

ROMEO AND JULIET This is somewhat complex. First of all I want to say I made somewhat of a mistake in nominations phase by nominating some d ships as All media types while others nominated some as Shakespeare, but I'm absolutely ok with fic based on Shakespeare or any production of Presgurvic's musical. Exceptions are the 2010 revival and ensuing tour and Takarazuka productions. Also while I said I am okay with AUs here, I'd prefer they not be based on the 1996 movie in aesthetic/characterization, though the stakes/situation of the feud is a good example of what I imagine for modern au. Now going specifically about each of my prompts:

For the Romeo/Juliet ones I mostly want emotional hurt/comfort, either set during their wedding night or in a AU where they manage to leave together. It always bothered me that it's assumed they just went straight to fucking on their wedding night: I love the idea that they, well, somewhat fought over the Tybalt issue, snuggled, comforted each other for their losses and imminent separation and Romeo's obviously very traumatizing murder experience, maybe got to know each other a bit more and shared about their insecurities, their clearly a lot to unpack family baggage... There's lot of potential here. I am very attached to the play, so I do like to believe in them being soulmates/true love rather than a random fling, silly as that is, so I'd like the tone of the whole thing to be according, and I am pretty attached to the canon ages too (almost 14 as per canon for Juliet and please not too much older Romeo) so ofc the no sexual stuff beyond the vaguest throwaway mention rule holds especially true here.

Regarding the Montague boys anything tied to the pretty self explanatory prompts is perfectly fine, either set in the present or as a cute childhood flashback. I would definitely appreciate some kind of AU where they all live but are badly hurt or mentally scarred in the course of the events Now, for the various combinations of Benvolio/Mercutio/Tybalt... again, plenty of self explanatory tags. I think these three characters and which tags would best fit which of them are very dependent on personal headcanons and I don't want to limit that at all, especially for individual relationships as opposed to the ot3. I'm definitely very interested in exploring the dynamics of their love triangle and possible polyamory and the obvious hurtful effects it has, (I generally see Mercutio as the center with Benvolio and Tybalt somewhat disliking each other at the beginning, though that can absolutely change, later! ) jealousy, feeling of inferiority by each of the boys, guilt, abandonment issues, the like. My first instinct is to imagine Bencutio as together and Tycutio as bitter exes who may or may not go for another round at any moment, but the reverse or any other combination of Drama is fine too. I also love scenarios, for either individual ships or ot3, that explore the effect of the feud on their lives: someone having to be nursed back to health after a duel gone too far, someone being traumatized by their first serious act of violence, the unrealistic expectations/responsibility/toxic masculinity Tybalt and Benvolio are loaded by their families and so on. An AU where Mercutio survives the duel but is very badly hurt and Tybalt is guilt stricken by his own deed and starts to realize his feelings for him as he helps take care of him would be lovely.

[fourthwingingit]

Two

Edit: tumblr didnt post my edits from my original post (like you know when you save something as a draft and go oh wait there are some errors like no header and awkward phrasing lemme fix them) so im gonna repost this eventually but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Edit 2: tumblr sucks and never lets me put the thing so... This is for the anon who requested a fic of touch starved clark and conner with the prompts 'nobodys ever done that to me before' and 'i just want to be held' sorry it got angstier then i ment it to.... hope you like hurt comfort

Clark hovered awkwardly outside the door to conners room. He was nervous about seeing the teen with everything between them and what he wanted to ask him.

He took a breath. Conner almost certainly knew he was there already. But that didnt matter.

Ma always said that manners matter

He knocked.

From inside came a muffled, annoyed, and clipped

"What is it clark?"

Taking that as the best invitation he was going to get he opened the door and went in.

He looked at conner. The kid was on his bed, facedown on top of the covers like an angsty teen in a movie.

Clark thought he looked too small for the position he was in. Like he was waiting for some blow that was going to take a part of him with it to land... or like it already had and he was cradling a hole

Clark shook off the disturbing thought and steeled himself. He swiftly walked to Conner's bedside, and said, eloquently,

"Well. I... you see...... uh... lois- i mean to say..... uhh"

Lord this was already going to hell in a handbasket.

Conner turned his head enough to raise one eyebrow

"What the hell was that?"

He sat down a respectful distance away (as far away as he could) and tried again

"Hmm... you see i uhh- hmm you know how uhh.... things umm. Sometimes.... uhh"

Conner slowly turned his head the rest of the way to clark, confusion now written in every line in his body. great.

Clarks back bowed fast. Like his head gained 20 pounds in a half a second, his arms planted themselves on his knees and he gave up trying... he'd try again some other day. Maybe tomorrow. Or maybe lois should do it.... Kal-el you coward.

"I... i dont know, ive got nothing."

But now he was scrambling, he needed a reason for being here. And what came out was;

"Ma told me shes uhh, seen you acting in a... less than..... ideal...... kind of.... way.?"

"Wow."

"No yeah i heard it"

"That was some next level awkward," and there was some distinct venom in that voice shoot. "if its that hard to be around me then you can find the door. I certainly dont need your pity handouts anyway."

Well.... shit

"No thats not.... im.... i wanted to ask- uh... whats been bothering you..... sport."

He now had what bruces kids called The Awkward White Man Smile... great.

Suprisingly, Conner chuckled.

Maybe a small part of Clark's brain said its not hopeless?

"Right now? Your social skills."

Banter! He hung around batman! He could do banter.

"Aww man and here i was thinking i was handing out winning lines."

"Oh no, youve gone senile a little early, well... maybe not early... good thing you've got Kara."

There was a small smirk playing at conners lips and an actual opportunity. God was real and he loved Clark Kent.

"At least I know I have two good boys to pick me up after im down." He looked away fast.

Silence stretched on

.......

Awkwardly

Oh lord he messed up the moment

He presumed too much and their only friendly interaction in over a month is ruined

"Two?"

The voice Conner used was so painfully soft and small. Like it didnt dare to hope anymore and had stopped trying a long time ago.

Clark never was good at leaving voices like that alone. And he was always more comfortable when something needed doing anyways.

Superman courage steadied him enough to take a risk.

He reached out his hand, and ruffled Conner's hair, trailing his fingers down after to rest on the shoulder closest to him and said.

"I have two kids dont i?"

More silence

Conner was frozen beneath his fingertips

He panicked

Oh god

He had fucked it up

He had fucked up enough times that conner didn't want anything to do with him

Okay damage control

"That is...." Conner stiffened further "if i haven't been so horrible to my eldist that he doesnt want anything to do with me"

The silence was now so deep he could hear the dust motes brushing against everything

He heard a tiny sniffle

And then he telltale sound of tears hitting bedsheets.

His head whipped around, his glasses flew off somewhere into the room. He barely noticed.

Shocked, he started to speak but Conner cut him off before he could finish the first syllable.

"You know when i was in Hawaii i used to watch families. Specifically parents and children. I'd be so jealous of-"

Conner cut himself off.

"Nobody's ever- i mean...... parents do that to their kids.... the hair touching thing.... Nobody's ever-" his voice broke, he cleared it. "Nobody's ever even tried to touch my hair if we werent kissing."

He gave a pitiful, watery laugh and, after a breif, stunned, pause, started rambling about how "of course i get it cut, like, the barber touches it and stuff..."

And it all hit clark.

Somehow it had never occured to Clark, that even though Conner looked like he was so much older than Jon, he wasnt.

He wondered who raised him

Who fed him

Who hugged him through nightmares

Clarks heart broke

Because he was certain the answer to most of those kinds of questions was 'Conner' and none of them were "Kal-el" or "Clark Kent"

Clark turned a bit and ran his hand over Conner's back softly, cutting off his rambling and said in a voice that was somehoe warm but still felt guilty and mourning;

"What do you want? What can I do?"

Conner was stunned. Kal had never given him anything like this. So he kept talking to give his brain time to catch up.

"I don.... i- i used to watch families... in- in Hawaii, and I'd get jealous of the kids, that they got to have families. Got to have parents. I dont..."

Clark turned a little to properly face his son and grabbed his hand.

"What can i do Conner?"

One day ago Conner would have asked for a lot. To never see Kal again, the superman title, his spot in the JL, even some time with Jon. But now?

Conner shifted, he sat up as best he could. And guided Kals hand to the side of his face, through tear tracks, held it there for a second, and then slid it into his hair. All thr while leaning into it like it was the only support he needed.

"I just want to be held.... without expectations..... without titles or rules or anything in return."

Connor wouldnt meet his eyes, or look up from the bedspread during his request.

For the second time that day Clark's heart broke. But now he had something he could do.

He reached out with his other hand, guiding his son into his arms, and gently layed them down

He kept one hand on the back of Conner's head, stroking the strands there. And one hand on Conner's back slowly moving back and forth.

From the first point of contact, Conner's world narrowed to the hand Kal had put on him. And now, there was more. Now he was allowed to reach out. He wanted to get closer. To bury his face in Kals chest and curl up small. To let the world fall away around them. Until nothing existed but them. Holding each other forever.

Kal seemed to read his mind, and guided his head to tuck itself under his chin and pressed them closer together.

No promises, no strings, no obligations after.

He could leave whenever he wanted.

He wanted to stay forever.

Conner wondered breifly what was like to be held by a father. If it felt as nice as this. Like everything crashed in on him, but it was okay.

Maybe, he thought.

They had a maybe.

And this maybe was a lot of ground to stand on.

#kal el #clark kent #kon el #conner kent #father son #familial bonds #hurt comfort #cuddling & snuggling #platonic cuddling #fic #dc #superman #superboy #my fic #for anon #my writing

[wicoppi]

Update: This is a series now!

Paladen: Make Me a Home

Lance | Pidge | Hunk | Keith | Shiro | Allura

Greetings from the drafting table! A few weeks back I wrote a color meta about Keith’s Phoenix Arc and @honeycombpuppy suggested I do an illustrated version. A brilliant idea which my brain wouldn’t let go of so here I am. In a shocking turn of events, my illustration is a house. I am 100% undeniably that color and floor plan bith; it matriculates into every part of my life and I love it. You need to scream about color? COME FIND ME. Structure and design? I got you. Anyways… 

I did an abstraction of Keith, breaking out his key elements and personality traits, and translated it into a house under the premise that each component of a home is associated with a certain feeling and use. I’m honestly in love with how this turned out. 

The Home is a stand-alone split level. This style suits Keith because everything is categorized based on function and sectioned accordingly. There’s a lot of depth, complexity, and interest that is not always apparent because of how it is broken up. The house is larger than 1 person needs and as a result feels empty, uncared for, and some would say even a little haunted. 

The Foyer, or main entrance, is regarded as the face of a house, the first impression. Keith’s is presentable, minimal, and does not give much information about the rest of the home. It is a small landing zone closed off from everything with little to offer in the way of hospitality. This is a transition space where one can choose to go further or turn and leave the way they came. 

The Main Floor houses all of the shared spaces starting with the formal areas and moving to casual and then to comfortable. The idea being that the more you get to know Keith, the more comfortable he becomes. 

The Formal Living and Dining Rooms are immediately off of the entry stairs. These rooms are sparse but welcoming though often this hospitality goes unnoticed because it lacks showmanship. Everything a short term guest may need can be found here: a coat closet for personal effects, a powder room, a place to sit, easy access to the kitchen, and easy access to the exit. 

The Kitchen is often coined the heart of the home and Keith’s demonstrates his capacity to love with an unmatched passion. The room is deep and offers several seating options as well as natural light and space to work alongside one another. This kitchen touches both the formal and informal spaces but maintains a barrier between itself and the prior much like Keith who prefers to stay closed off even though he cares deeply about everyone. 

The Keeping Room, dating back to colonial America, was a space next to the kitchen where family could gather to collect heat on cold nights. Today, this room is regarded as a source of relaxation and community within the heart of the home. Keith’s is nestled into a corner and features a cozy seating arrangement. There are a couple of steps acting as a final barrier to get to this space and a set of french doors for an easy backdoor exit allowing the option to leave whenever you’re ready. 

The Study is tucked away behind the keeping room and is regarded as private even though it is accessible to guests. It is the most well-loved space in the entire home. Keith has a curious mind and enjoys learning new things, always studying and observing.. To a point. As we saw in season 5, Keith willfully ignores observations if he fears the truth they may hold. A nod to this and Keith’s previously unknown Galra heritage, there is a hidden pocket room tucked behind a built in bookcase. The center shelf is actually a door hidden in plain sight and only someone who already knew it was there would be able to access this space. 

On a Separate Level the bedrooms, bathrooms, and laundry are housed. These areas are generally regarded as highly personal and for resident use only- somewhere you don’t go unless explicitly invited. 

The Bedrooms are all approximately equal in size and each has its own unique features. Typically, the master has all of the bells and whistles while the other rooms are lackluster. Here though, the master does have an en suite bathroom and walk in closet, but the other bedrooms hold their own interest with large windows, bay seating, and other cool architectural features. These rooms are well maintained but sparsely furnished; Keith is pragmatic enough not to waste resources on areas that are not used. 

Color transitions from cool to warm as you migrate through the house following the same path of travel from formal to informal spaces. I could say a lot about color but if you want to know why I chose the ones I did, you’re best off reading the Phoenix Arc meta I linked at the beginning of this post. 

Summary - Wow that turned out angstier than I originally intended… am I crying or is it just dusty in here? Like Keith, this home is complex and interesting: Everything has a place and there is a place for everyone if they choose it. Keith is well guarded but cares deeply and passionately about those in his life. He has a lot to give but does not expect anyone to stay. And he tries to maintain control by sectioning off the varying facets of his life. This house mirrors that with varying levels of comfort and compartmentalization.

#in my head this house backs up to a beautiful desert scenery #im so obsessed with this #i have so many feelings about this show #and this character #this was an emotional roller coaster #i wonder if that garage is big enough for a lion? #everyone wants a secret room dont lie i know you do #vld.schematics #keith #keith meta #keith (voltron) #he deserves so much #voltron #vld #illustrated meta #I might just turn this into a series #someone stop me #paladen: make me a home #paladen #make me a home #house meta series #floor plan #meta

[pippytmi]

would you be down for a prompt? maybe a clingy elizabeth who only wants to be with Lena no matter whats happening? even if theyre visiting kara or alex and lucy shes just all about her mommy - bp anon

this took a much angstier turn than expected oh wow i’m sorry but…you know i am always down for a prompt ;)

(Kara hasn’t come home.)

Lena painstakingly copies notes by the light of the TV and tries not to worry too much about it. Kara is late sometimes. It’s part of her job. But just in case, she switches the channel to the news; if there’s any Supergirl emergency, it’ll likely be broadcast any second.

Minutes bleed into hours and Lena hears Elizabeth start to cry. She’s old enough that she is supposed to be good at sleeping through the night, but admittedly, sometimes she’ll relapse and have a bad night or two.

Lena sets aside her reports and quietly makes her way into their bedroom, where Elizabeth is sleeping; she’s gripping one of the pillows propped on her side that keeps her from rolling off the bed, hair tousled and eyes wide as if she’s frightened.

“Lizzy, baby,” Lena says softly, and she picks Elizabeth up carefully when the one-year-old starts to whimper. “You’re supposed to be asleep.”

Elizabeth drops her head on Lena’s shoulder, sleepy enough that she doesn’t squirm to be let down yet. She’s been very active lately, and has become very fond of wandering off if someone doesn’t keep an eye on her.

Lena tries to lay down with Elizabeth, but all she does is fuss, so Lena takes her into the living room instead; there, she lowers the volume on the TV and lets Elizabeth curl up on her lap and doze off. She discreetly checks the time: 10 P.M. Still no word from Kara.

(She sends Alex a text asking if Kara is with her, then puts her phone away and tries to focus on anything else.)

Lena dozes off for a moment herself, and it takes the shrill ringtone of her cell phone to make her start. Poor Elizabeth gets woken up in the process, too, but Lena has to take it—it’s Alex.

“Alex?” she says, without so much as a proper greeting. “Alex, what is it?”

“Lena, hey.” A pause. “Listen, I know it’s late. So I don’t want you to worry, but—”

“Is she okay?” Lena interrupts, voice cracking in her desperation to get the question out.

“She was exposed to a large quantity of Kryptonite, but we got her out of there before it was too much. She’s recovering at the DEO and it’s not a big deal, but, I figured you should know.”

Lena swallows, thickly, and tries not to shudder in relief. “She hasn’t texted me,” she says.

“She’s passed out. It took a lot out of her, I think.”

“Can I,” Lena pauses. “I—is it okay if I drop by?”

“She’ll be home first thing tomorrow, I promise. She just needs to sleep it off.”

“I-I know,” Lena says. “But I need…I need to see her.”

Alex sighs, and Lena knows it’s because she understands; she is the one person who cares for Kara just as much as Lena does.

“I’m pretty sure letting you show up to a top-secret facility would be breaking at least eleven DEO rules,” Alex says, but it’s also not a no. Sure enough: “….just get here as quickly as possible.”

Lena does exactly that. Unfortunately, Elizabeth doesn’t share her sense of urgency.

“Sweetie, we’re going to go see your Aunt Alex,” Lena says as she buckles Elizabeth up, but Elizabeth is already whining and trying to get out of the restraints of her car seat; words make no difference to her. “We’ll be there soon, I promise.”

(Elizabeth cries the entire ride. Lena doesn’t blame her; she’s blinking back tears herself.)

Alex ushers them in the moment they show up, not allowing security or anyone else to question it. Elizabeth has quieted by now, but is obviously upset; her head remains on Lena’s shoulder, and she doesn’t even move when Alex tells her hi.

“Kara’s still asleep,” Alex says. “I can take you to her room.”

“She’s not hurt, is she? Should I—” Lena’s hand unconsciously strays to Elizabeth’s neck, hugging her even closer.

“I can take her,” Alex offers, which is code for “Elizabeth shouldn’t see the state Kara’s in.” Lena feels the tears come back, pricking at the edge of her eyes, and all she does is nod and hand Elizabeth over.

Immediately, Elizabeth bursts into tears. She stretches her arms out towards Lena the instant Lena lets go of her, surprising Alex so much she nearly drops Elizabeth altogether.

“It’s okay, Lizzy,” Alex says, frantically looking to Lena for guidance. “Mommy’s going to be right back.”

“M-my-my,” Elizabeth sobs, trying to squirm out of Alex’s arms.

Lena is unable to walk away, not when Elizabeth is crying like that; she caves and takes her back, smoothing a hand down Elizabeth’s back as Elizabeth cries against her neck. Lena doesn’t know how she’s supposed to be the strong one. She’s never been the best at that.

“I’m sorry,” Lena says, and she feels useless, powerless, as she looks at Alex tearfully. “I don’t know what’s gotten into her.”

Alex pats Lena’s shoulder sympathetically. “She needs you,” she says. “That’s all.”

Lena shuts her eyes so hard the tears fall, cradling Elizabeth as close as she can. “She probably misses Kara,” she says, helplessly. “I don’t know what else it could be.”

“Or she’s just sleepy,” Alex suggests, and it’s a rational thought. “Maybe all she wants is her mommy to hold her for a while. Listen, there are a few hospital beds you can lie down in if you want. They’re nothing fancy, but…”

“Maybe,” Lena says, voice quivering, “maybe just until Elizabeth falls asleep.”

“Sure,” Alex says. “Just until then.”

Alex is right about the beds; they’re small and their sheets are scratchy and the room smells a bit like chemicals, but Elizabeth doesn’t care. She sprawls out over Lena’s chest anyhow, refusing to be moved, and Lena doesn’t try to argue it.

(She doesn’t think about Kara, for a moment. Right now it’s just her and Elizabeth, and they’re staying strong together.)

#ty again for this <333 #supercorp #kara x lena #supergirl #bp anon #i need a fic tag #im truly appalled every time i try to write angst

[vonseal]

what im weak for this week

SOOOOO i haven’t done one of these in almost a month! i think it’s high-time to get back on track again! hopefully i can come out with the next one on the 11th instead of a month later.

this is long. like srsly long. like wow. it took me an hour. i could’ve written a whole fic.

call me maybe by shinigamibutter

i’ve got this weird thing with library aus. i love them. maybe it's because libraries are elusive and mysterious to me now (i checked out a book back in middle school, i still have it on my bookshelf and im too scared to return it), but they’re something so nice about libraries. also there’s something so nice about SOCKY and MYUNGJIN and BINU all in one lil fic, holla for a dolla! this is really nice and cute and i loved reading it! <3

out of my league by koutarous

BINU!!! DRINKING TOO MUCH (bad bin)!!! i loved this prompt and @shouldveheldon did it so much justice, it’s unbelievable how good it is (but i’ve never been disappointed from her writing). the set-up is good and even if bin should lay off on the alcohol a bit, at least it got him a cute guy’s number, AMIRITE.

i’ll pick the white and fluffy clouds from the sky for you by spaceviolet (vividplum)

did you guys know im a fan of the cute fluff? did you guys know im a fan of the socky? did you guys know im a fan if you combine both those things? heck yes man, this combination was so amazing and perfect. ALSO, ESTABLISHED RELATIONSHIP??? im in, im so in.

Does Lonileness Ever Truly End? by MidnightsDeath

i should stop writing angsty stuff bc people take it as inspiration to make even angstier stuff and then im all sad and depressed lol. especially WHEN I STARTS HELLA CUTE WITH MYUNGJIN. thank you for writing this, and thank you for making me cry and ruin my makeup haha.

(my) hot antagonist by rubanrose

we’ve been getting this nice influx of moonrock here lately, and seal approves. i mean, tbc was basically moonrock (did you see the way bin smiled when he brought up rocky???). ALSO ANOTHER ESTABLISHED RELATIONSHIP, YES. and just moonbin and rocky being cute dorks together and making my heart die of fluff, wow <3

you captured my heart by binubin

some people say that the fake boyfriend au is overdone. i say it’s UNDERdone. like, seriously, i love the idea of people pretending to date and then legit falling in love (the proposal is one of my favorite movies if you guys wanted to know), and WOW IM SO HAPPY THIS ONE EXISTS! bin is a photographer and dongmin is a (un?)willing subject, and i just want you guys to read it. it’ll be six chapters of awesome sauce.

home is wherever the heart is by diametrical

NO GUYS YOU DONT UNDERSTAND THAT DOMESTIC AUS ARE JUST THE GREATEST!!!! AND MYUNGJIN???? DOMESTIC???? wow, just shoot me now, @leedeermin, bc you stole my heart already. i thought nothing could top binu domestic au, BUT THIS DID (mostly bc myungjin > everything for me, im trash, send help). thank youuuu for this, it’s all i needed in life 

i get to love you by asteraa

aka, lanna still tryin to make up for making me sob over trains to busan au. well it worked. it worked so so so well. and the song choice for the end I HAVE IT ON MY PHONE BC OF THIS NOW WOW i get emo over it thank you so much. this is all around just funny and cute and heart-wrenching and fluffy and perfect.

moving on by slaymyseoul

your username conveys perfectly what you’ve done to me, @slaymyseoul: you slayed my soul. slayed it hard. slayed it nasty. and then you acted all happy in the end notes like you didn’t just slaughter a thousand hearts all at once. this binu just...all 700 words of it just ruined me for the rest of my life. you’re such a good author and it shows in my tears.

baby by beifomg

tbh now all i can think in my head is BABY whenever they call each other that, bless astro and their bitchin tunes. NAH BUT THIS FIC is so pure??? so so so pure and i just wanted to touch the screen and somehow lengthen the story with nothing but this pure moment between eunwoo and binnie. at least im so happy this was created, it’s perfection.

Let's go on an adventure! by Rach4040

BINU!!! CUTE BINUUUU!!! also rulebreaker binnie and SUDDEN RULEBREAKER EUNWOO??? i love the idea of cute, romantic teens going off in the middle of the night just to be cute and pure and getting back home in the morning and knowing they won’t get any sleep and will be utterly exhausted all day, but it’s worth it because they love each other AND THATS WHAT THIS IS!!! it’s so cute, gosh golly.

rock show by roobix

i know a few people wanted bartender jinwoo, which i might still write, but i think this one is even better than what i could ever do. it was so short and i longed for more BUT MAN what we did get was fantastic (and made me imagine bartender jinwoo, haha yessss)

oh, the stars shine by parkjinchu

the stars shine for @parkjinchu and HER BEAUTIFUL FICS!!! i missed her writing in the lull after the year we met (go check it out, go check it out on her page, wow i cry), but she’s back with DOMESTICCCCC (im so happy with all this domestic we’re getting) JINCHA!!! why is there not more jincha, they work so well together. (i’d write it but also im myungjin trash, i cant escape my hell). also cute new parents peeking over a bed at their fragile baby just warms my heart (also, relatable, how do you touch a baby without breaking him)

summer paradise by aseuteuro

nopenopenopenope. i shouldnt recommend this, so dont read it unless you want to cry at work like seal did (not safe for work, bc you CRY). it’s binu and i sorta expected it to be happy despite the angst warning in the tags (im not smart, i dont claim to be intelligent) but it WASNT, it just RIPPED MY HEART OUT, HOW DARE

colour me by heybinnie

i will be honest, i dont normally read reader-insert fics like this, but i thought, “it’s @heybinnie and she’s perfect so i bet it will be perfect.” guess what? it was. it was so dreamy and beautiful and breathtaking, and i seriously cannot wait to figure it all out! (JINWOO SELLS DRUGS, PASS IT ON)

flytrap by tinytaeil

MYUNGJIN, i thought. METAPHORS, i thought again. BEAUTIFUL WRITING WOW IM JEALOUS, i thought once more. and then it ends with my cries, why can’t jinwoo just LOVE and have HAPPINESS, why this, why the poor fly, why the amazing description and flowing narrative??? tbh, i think this fic was a flytrap.

forbidden love by jiminaddiction

MORE MOONROCK! look at us getting blessed with all this moonrock. i love this one a lot bc minhyuk is deaf and bin is colorblind, but WOW they’re so adorable and blushy around each other! each chapter that comes out makes me so happy and excited, and i can’t wait for more of it!

Loop by ContraryNonsense

WOW MAN THIS IS SO INTRIGUING!!! i dont read tags, tbh, i just click at this point when i see the description, so i didn’t expect the ending to the first chapter (then i read the tags and thought, “gotta trudge past the angst to get to the happy ending.”) and we’re ALMOST THERE!!! ONE MORE CHAPTER!!! definitely read this, pls do so, it deserve so much more hits than it’s got.

where soil lies, a new beginning blooms by @vocalpmh

THIS WAS INSPIRED BY WITCHCRAFT WHICH>????? how did i do anything to deserve this amazing piece of perfection??? i still read it a lot, it’s one of my go-tos when im feeling down, and im so blessed you gifted it to me, i just absolutely ADORE this fic. pls pls pls read, it’s pure and perfect myungjin (also butt groping, my legacy spreads)

breadtrayed by @glowingjinjin

that pun. get in my home, lanna, i need your puns. i think we had a discussion bc i actually dont like bread all that much but NO WHAT HAS BREAD EVER DONE TO ME??? or to eunwoo, who apparently can find time to bag up a bunch of bread, what a great boyfriend.

a love stronger than furniture by @glowingjinjin

stop writing funny fics to make up for train to busan, you can’t replace my broken heart. IDK THO THIS CAME CLOSE TO DOING SO!!! everything about it was perfect, and you’re so amazing with writing these cutsie fics??? (and then you’ll turn around and rip out my heart, i know you will)

witch coven au by @astrofireworks

i still havent read the newest addition, but i have it up right now to read after i post this. i love your imagination. i love your ideas, i just need to tap into your brain and steal some of this brilliance, thank you very much

UPDATED FICS FROM LAST WEEK MONTH??? -

because of hani by gachigallae - have i mentioned how much i love these kids and domestic stuff??? because i do, i truly seriously do, and i love this fic and bin’s affection for dongmin’s daughter is so cute

5+1 by heybinnie - this makes my heart wrench, but in a good way, and makes me realize how fantastic of a leader jinwoo is to these boys.

stray romance by alette - @alette-stars done did it again, stole my heart and made binnie and dongmin both all so jealous, wow this is cute

medley by sassysavagesanha (RedJusticeLibra) - QUEEN OF SOCKY!!! MORE SOCKY FOR ME!!! more socky for you if you click right now, guaranteed you’ll enjoy it

short moments by Mieun (snowsketch) - i love these cute little movements, and new chapters always make me so happy, especially the myungjin in the last chapter!

inked by jinwoosmile - i figured you out, @jinwoosmile. you tryin to get me to cry. and you succeeded, congrats, you can stop bashing my heart apart now.

leave me dreaming by desiderate - im hooked. im so so so so hooked and idk how it’ll end but im so anticipating whatever happens because it’s such good writing so i know it’ll be fantastic (even if i’ve been so sad with this lol)

the language of flowers by birdbrainberke - I LOVED THIS PROMPT so obvs i love this fic, especially bc it’s @payneinthearsenal, who really knows how to write amazing fics.!!!

and if you ever have anything you think i need to check out, hit me up with that fic, fams. i dont even care if it’s your own. i check a03 regularly, so if it’s something posted elsewhere, pls let me know!

#what makes me weak this week #i started full time hours and my brain has been mush so this is a month late oops #i'll stay on track from now on

[toomanyfeelings5]

fanfic ask!!

thank you so much for tagging me, @accioinvisibilitycloak! whoever sees this and wants to do it, feel free!

and these are the fics that i’m gonna be talking about, if anyone’s interested: Seekers of Love, Under Pressure (All Devils Here Now), Strangely Are Our Souls Constructed, and a burning bruise. 

Total Number of Stories Completed: ok i’m too lazy to go through my non-ao3 fics so this is all gonna be through my tiny ao3 account, which has 3 completed fics, 1 WIP.

Total Word Count: 100153

Fandoms Written In: Harry Potter, Wolf 359, Stranger Things, and Shakespeare (Merchant of Venice and The Taming of the Shrew) 

Looking Back, Did You Write More Fic Than You Thought You Would This Year, Less, Or About What You’d Expected? WAY MORE THAN I EXPECTED. i’ve actually FINISHED fics and POSTED THEM so this is all pretty new and challenging and awesome. 

What’s Your Own Favorite Story of the Year? Oh gosh, this is difficult. if i HAD to pick.....for right now, it’d be Strangely Are Our Souls Constructed. i finished it on my birthday, which i had promised myself i would do, and i felt really happy about it and got really awesome feedback all throughout the day? it was a great birthday gift for myself tbh. 

Did You Take Any Writing Risks This Year? Yes! for one thing, i’ve POSTED MY WRITING TO THE INTERNET, which i’ve never done until recently. and i’ve never stuck with any piece of writing like i have with Seekers of Love, a fic that’s for a goddamn rarepair.  this fic has made me pay so much more attention to canon than i ordinarily would for fic-writing, and the amount of research i’ve put into this fic isn’t so much of a “risk” as it’s been a good challenge. shoutout to everyone and anyone who answered my questions about how race and ethnicity and religion and history and other magical systems and societies would interact with the wizarding world and beyond. my fic would be shitty as hell if not for your time and patience and ideas. if you’d like me to credit you here, let me know and i will do so gladly. 

and!!! just in general, writing things that i’d like to read. which doesn’t sound like much of a risk, but when my interests tend to be pretty outside fandom’s main ships and ideas, it’s just been....really freeing to write about characters and/or ships that may be obscure or rare or lack content but that i still love writing. 

Do You Have Any Fanfic Or Profic Goals For The New Year? i’m gonna KEEP WRITING SEEKERS OF LOVE, AND MAYBE EVEN FINISH IT SOMETIME THIS YEAR. i also want to write more (gay) shakespeare stuff because just when i think i’m “”””over it””””” i always get more ideas. 

and i have PLANS for wolf 359. 

Best Story Of The Year? HMMMMM.....i’m gonna break this down because i can’t decide on anything ever??? in terms of concise character study and pacing, a burning bruise. in terms of relationship-building, Seekers of Love. in terms of lines that made me cackle because of really obvious literary references and things are messy and complicated, Strangely Are Our Souls Constructed. in terms of writing semi-personal experiences into fic and also creating an original character who i routinely forget doesn’t exist in canon, Under Pressure (All Devils Here Now). 

Most Popular Story Of The Year? Seekers of Love! which. wow, it’s just. really cool. i’m so grateful. 

Story of Mine Most Under-Appreciated by The Universe, IMO: Alright, i 100% get that shakespeare fanfic isn’t going to get all that popular in the first place, and that kate/portia is a rare crossover ship, etc etc etc, but i am pretty proud of a burning bruise, and kind of wish a few more people had read it. alright, complaining done. 

Most Fun Story to Write:

hmmmm.......Strangely Are Our Souls Constructed, tbh. which is weird because it’s not, like, happy or has snappy dialogue, i just had so much fun writing about Maxwell and monsters. 

Story with The Single Sexiest Moment:

?????? uh......i guess that one part in a burning bruise when they’re gross and sweaty from boxing and they decide that now’s the time to have a moment. “you’re bleeding, you idiot.” yup. totally counts. 100%. 

Most Sweet Story: Ok so overall this has to be Seekers of Love, there are so many fluffy bits along with angstier parts, like: “Harry stayed behind to watch the snow fall, and wiped his eyes on his sleeve, full of wonder and warmth and things Voldemort had never dreamed of.” these idiots. i love them all so much. 

“Holy Crap, That’s Wrong, Even For You!” Story: LISTEN.....herawell is fucked up and i still ship it a lot, so. Strangely Are Our Souls Constructed, hands down. like: “Maxwell fixes her, she makes the pain go away, and doesn’t even need to try to get her to call Minkowski Lieutenant. She smiles to herself about an impressive start to a delicate operation,” and then there’s, “For one brief moment, Maxwell loses control, and if Hera could, she’d smile back in triumph.” So. Yeahhhhhh. 

Story That Shifted My Own Perceptions Of The Characters: Ok I can’t pick just one i’m sorry. i never related to Barb that much until i wrote Under Pressure (All Devils Here Now), mostly because she died so early on in canon, so that was interesting. I HAVE NEVER LOVED OR UNDERSTOOD CHO, CEDRIC, AND MRS. FIGG MORE THAN I HAVE WHEN WRITING SEEKERS OF LOVE. also writing Maxwell made me realize how much she has hiding under the surface of professional friendliness, that she is deeply alone, and that she’s developed a terrible skill for selective compassion, which.....conflicts with her genuinely caring about people in interesting and complex ways. 

Most Unintentionally Telling Story: i love writing queer characters and queer storylines for sOME REASON, i wonder what it could be..........whistles innocently

also the mental illness stuff in Under Pressure (All Devils Here Now), which....it’s not all 100% autobiographical or anything, but it was....an experience putting some of my own stuff into writing. 

Hardest Story To Write: Seekers of Love in terms of how long it’s going to be, but in terms of finished fic and for the amount of difficulty i had writing it, then Under Pressure (All Devils Here Now). 

Biggest Disappointment: I’m way behind in updating Seekers of Love due to lack of time/energy, so that’s a bummer right now, but i am absolutely planning on writing more for it soon!! i have ideas!!! and also that i haven’t written the wolf 359 fics i’ve been wanting to write. but i’ll get there. it’s gonna happen. 

Biggest Surprise: that people like my fics and my writing! and that Seekers of Love has gotten as much attention as it has. it’s such a rarepair and my first published fic and i thought that only my friend and i were gonna read it. the reception it’s gotten has inspired and humbled me beyond all of my expectations. 

thank you to everyone who has read, left kudos on, and/or commented on any of my fics, it means so much to me, and i am incredibly thankful to be in such good company. 

#fic #my fic #writing #personal #q slur tw #harry potter #stranger things #wolf 359 #shakespeare