#wow also so grateful for these translators spreading the love!

[ramblings-from-elsinore]

Hi. I just discovered Ephemeron (its Chinese translation, actually). It's so beautifully written and it breaks my heart and it has EVERYTHING I love about Starker. Then I did some digging and found out that you probably won't finish it. I seem to do that a lot, stumble upon a masterpiece and forget to check its status before reading then find out it won't be finished. (tears.

Anyway, I still want to thank you for all your effort and time you put in this fic. Thank you so, so much. I just want to let you know that there still are new readers who appreciate this story.

Thank you so much for sending this kind message! I'm sorry it's taken me so long to respond, but I really do appreciate it. It's especially nice to hear that people still love the fic as is, even if I lost the passion and couldn't complete it for all my loyal readers. I'm so glad you got enjoyment from reading what I wrote. At some point I do hope to post some sort of conclusion-summary of what I had planned originally, so stay tuned.

#wow also so grateful for these translators spreading the love! #ask #nevercalmenough #ephemeron stuff #my fic

[novoaa1writes]

honest

pairing(s): daisy johnson x nb!reader, melinda may & nb!reader (familial)

summary:

coming out is never easy—even when you’ve got reliable people in corner.

contains: angst & fluff with happy ending

(also available on ao3.)

word count: ~2,000

rating: teen

warnings: sparring, self-doubt; anxiety (not chronic); muscle pains, bruises, and aches (from exertion); mild language; coming out; discussions of gender and sexuality

notes: 

in my head, this is staged at the playground somewhere in season 2-3ish of marvel’s agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.

— —

disclaimer: this is in no way reflective of the experiences of all non-binary individuals everywhere. as someone who’s recently had the realization that i am Not Woman and Not Man and has been subsequently made to have some rather difficult conversations with those closest to me about changing up pronouns, this is simply based off of my own experience and struggles with my gender / sexuality. it’s a uniquely personal thing to come to terms with, and it’s different for everyone.

feel free to message me if you’d like to talk about it!

— —

You let out a long, slow breath, eyeing yourself critically in the bathroom mirror. 

Nervous eyes, shower-damp skin, lower lip swollen and puffy from biting it relentlessly—an obtrusive testament to the overwhelming abundance of unease ballooning in your chest.

Yeah. Seems about right. 

“C’mon, Y/N,” you grumble, taking great care to pitch your voice well below the hum of the fan overhead. “It’s fine. You’re fine.”

The more insistent you become, the less you believe it. 

“It’s just Daisy,” you continue, silently willing yourself to remain undeterred by the crushing doubt that gnaws away at your insides. “She’ll understand.” 

... But will she?

You frown at your reflection, skin prickling with frustration. “And if she doesn’t…” you trail off, hating the quiver in your voice for betraying your weakness. “If she doesn’t, then you shouldn’t be with her anyways.” Your voice comes out stronger this time, even if the words themselves are enough to scare you shitless. 

You like Daisy. Could grow to love her, even. 

Being with her… it’s made you the happiest you’ve ever been in your entire life, and damn it all, but you mean that. 

“She’s going to understand,” you say aloud. “She will.”

God, you pray that that’s true. 

— —

7:00am sees you getting your ass thrown violently all across the mats by an ever-indomitable Melinda May, racking up bruises and scratches and aches like no one’s business. 

By the time 9:00am hits, you’re a wheezing mess, sprawled spread-eagled atop the sparring mats—lungs on fire, chest heaving for breath; sweat-drenched skin littered with technicolored bruising.

In short, it’s hellish. 

“C’mon,” May urges, tone curt and even. She looms imposingly down upon you from above, a decidedly unamused expression gracing her elegant features—and, get this: not a single hair out of place, nor a hint of labored breathing. 

You groan and squint up at her, searching for—

A-ha!

There, just above one immaculately-manicured brow and, like, two millimeters beneath her hairline—a tiny little droplet of perspiration. As you watch, it seems to absorb itself into her flawless skin—disappearing before your eyes like it was never even there. 

“You’ve gotta be kidding me,” you grumble. 

May just raises a single brow, offering you a hand up. “Up.”

You frown at her but don’t push your luck; rather, you accept the proffered hand and allow her to pull you to your feet. Your arms and legs and abdominal muscles all scream in protest as you lurch upright into a flat-footed stance, but you grit your teeth and bear it. 

Training with May—torturous (and often humiliating) as it may be—is voluntary. Something you chose, and continue to choose even despite the unadulterated hell it puts your body through with every swift kick and bone-jarring punch.

Not only that, you’re lucky to study opposite someone as fearless, skilled, and fucking terrifying as Melinda May. 

Even when your limbs are all ache-y and sore and burning with a pain beyond your years, you know that. 

Still… 

You probably could’ve done without this today. After all, getting your ass kicked for a solid two hours all across the mats doesn’t exactly inspire confidence. And, considering the conversation you plan to have with Daisy this afternoon, you’re gonna need to muster up all the confidence you can get. 

— —

“Spit it out,” May prompts, sidling up to match you stride for stride as you take a couple cool-down laps around the miniature track (¼ the size of a regulation model)... walking, that is. Not jogging. 

Honestly, you think that if you even tried jogging right now, you’d pass out. 

You spare her a sidelong glance as the two of you round the bend, perfectly in sync. “What?” 

May purses her lips, giving you a look. “You were sloppy today,” she remarks pointedly. “Distracted.” 

Her stare seems to burn holes through the side of your head. 

“Wow, thanks,” you mumble. The sardonic quip tastes funny coming off your tongue.

“You were off today,” May reiterates, sidestepping your wisecrack entirely. Her footsteps are soundless even as the soles of your beat-up Air Force Ones slap the tread audibly with every stride. “That doesn’t happen often.”

“Sure it does.” You shrug. “You kicked my ass today, same as always. If you ask me—” You hesitate briefly at the look on May’s face, which is plainly screaming ‘I didn’t’ “—today’s been anything but out of the ordinary.” 

“You’re a terrible liar,” May remarks without missing a beat. It’s like she didn’t even hear you (which you damn well know that she did). 

Still, you don’t do her the disservice of arguing the point any further. 

You walk another ten paces in perfect silence—no, twelve. You know because you count each one. 

Unsurprisingly, you’re first to break the immersive quiet. “I think I want to tell Daisy.”

May’s impartial expression doesn’t change. “About?”

You almost roll your eyes, but manage to curb the impulse at the very last second. “You know what about.”

Hell, May was the first person you told. You came to her quarters hyperventilating in the dead of night, tears streaming down both cheeks and a sense of such deep-seated discomfort swelling in your chest, your ribs positively ached with the force of it.

“I want to hear you say it.”

You bite your lower lip, apprehension gnawing at your insides. “About…” You trail off, internally scolding yourself. This shouldn’t be so fucking hard. “About me being… non-binary.” 

Non-binary. 

What a flimsy little term. So matter-of-fact… almost scientific in nature. And yet, the way it affects you is nothing short of visceral—all-encompassing and monstrous, compressing your very lungs in an iron-clad vice until it’s agony to draw breath. 

It hurts, it hurts, it hurts ; voicing this simple reality that’s plagued you since you were very small, looming malignantly in the margins of everything you do… and yet, the truth of it rings keen and strong in your ears—clear as a bell.  

It’s liberating and frightful all in one; a grating juxtaposition, to be clear.

“Yes.” The sound of May’s uncharacteristically gentle intonation cuts clean through the blaring noise in your head, yanking you out from a sea of inner turmoil with startling decision. “I’m proud of you.”

Her words—gently-spoken as they may be—hit you like consecutive sucker punches to the gut. “What?” you choke, forcing out a breathless chuckle. 

May—predictably—is staunch, unyielding… wholly undeterred. “You’re being true to yourself,” she insists, matching you step for step as you start in on lap two. Your chest burns something awful and your legs aren’t much better, but you pay it little mind. “That’s no small thing.”

“It’s terrifying,” you tell her. As far as you’re concerned, that’s something of an understatement.

She nods. “It often is.”

“What if… What if I tell her and she doesn’t like me anymore?”

May raises a single brow. “Daisy, a known bisexual who has stated on more than one occasion that the gender binary is ‘stupid’ and ‘exclusionary’? Daisy, who’s been on dates with more than one openly non-binary person in the past?”

“Well, when you put it like that…” 

May—bless her heart—doesn’t snort or sigh or roll her eyes, but you can tell it’s not for lack of wanting. Instead, she merely slants you a pointed look that says, ‘Exactly.’

You walk the next six strides in silence, your feet aching in your shoes.  

“I’m going to tell her,” you say eventually, a tinge of cautious certainty creeping into your tone. You don’t know who you’re trying to convince—yourself, or May. 

All the same, May is nothing if not steady and dependable amidst stormy seas; she always knows just what to say. (Or, what not to say, as it were.) 

There are no tears, no hugs, no flowery platitudes… nothing but a sharp nod of approval and the barest hint of a grin curving her lips, like she sees you for who you are and she approves—like she’s proud, even. You don’t know how else to translate the tender mercy in her eyes, the way it seems to warm you from the inside out. 

Yeah, you can tell Daisy. 

You’re going to tell Daisy. 

And May’s gonna be right there beside you the whole time.

— —

In retrospect, you definitely could’ve gone about this better. 

Like, you weren’t exactly going for the kind of heartfelt reconciliation you’d see in some coming-of-age sap-fest movie on the big screen; and it’s not as though there’s an exact script to follow for all this, but… 

Pulling away from a decidedly heated kiss to blurt out, “I’m not a woman”—and doing so while you’re half-naked and straddling the lap of a similarly scantily-clad Daisy in bed, no less—definitely hadn’t been your first choice. 

Judging by the expression on Daisy’s pretty features—which is caught somewhere between taken aback and genuinely concerned—she’s coming to the same conclusion.  

To her credit, though, she recovers quickly—though the crease between her brows (a testament to her lingering bewilderment) remains. “What?”

You swallow thickly, carding your fingers through her tousled hair—a nervous habit of yours you’d developed as of late. “I’m…” You sigh, apprehension building in your chest. “I’m not a woman.”

Daisy’s brows raise marginally even as she offers a shallow nod, wide attentive eyes steadfastly holding yours. “Okay…” she begins gently, rubbing circles into the bare skin above your left hipbone with a callused thumb—a subtle nudge for you to continue. 

“I just—I don’t feel like a woman,” you say, and this time it’s easier, even if the sheer measure of honesty in that statement is enough to make your stomach turn. “And I don’t feel like a man, either.”

Understanding flares in Daisy’s pretty brown eyes. “Okay,” she says again. “So, you’re not a woman…” She pauses, dipping her head to place a feather-light kiss upon your shoulder. “And you’re not a man,” she continues, lifting her jaw to study you face-to-face, the tip of her pert nose brushing up against your own. “Which means… ?”

“I’m, um,” you squirm a bit, shifting atop her bare thighs, “... non-binary.” Your cheeks are hot, burning with shame, and you have never been so grateful that your skin is tawny enough to conceal it. 

Daisy doesn’t blink. “Okay,” she replies, then leans forth to place a barely-there peck atop your lips. 

You frown down at her, lips tingling. “‘Okay’?” you repeat.  

Daisy grins, leaning in for another kiss—and you’re all too quick to indulge her even as your thoughts spin and disbelief wars violently with consternation within your chest. 

Her lips are soft and warm against your own; when her tongue flits out to trace your lips, you’re parting them in an instant to meet her halfway; the sensation of kissing her is nothing short of euphoric, and you surrender willfully unto it like leaves in the brisk autumn wind. 

Seconds pass, or maybe it’s minutes, but she’s catching your lower lip between her teeth and you’re sucking on the tip of her tongue and— 

Quite suddenly, the kiss has become nothing short of filthy—all open-mouthed and desperate and bruising just how you like, and damn it all, but you can finish the rest of the conversation another time.

For now… well. You’re preoccupied with other things.  

— — 

(Later that night, when you’re both laid up in bed and drifting off to sleep, Daisy asks if you’d like her to start referring to you as ‘they’ and ‘them’ rather than ‘she’ and ‘her.’

When you answer in the affirmative, telling her that nothing would make you happier, the sheer measure of honesty in your words doesn’t feel nearly as nauseating as it did before. 

In fact, it’s rather the opposite.

The way Daisy reacts—a murmured, “Okay”; a feather-light kiss upon your forehead; two strong arms pulling you closer in the dark… well. That’s just icing on the cake. 

Despite everything—the self-doubt, the second guessing, the aching soreness settling into the very marrow of your bones—you feel yourself break out into a broad grin beneath the pitch-dark cover of night.

You feel good; comfortable in your own skin. You feel… happy.)

— —

end notes: i want melinda may to be my friend.

LINK TO MASTERLIST

#stuff i wrote #daisy johnson x reader #melinda may & reader #daisy johnson x nb!reader #melinda may & nb!reader #nb!reader #non-binary reader #reader-insert #marvel fic #quake x reader #quake x nb!reader

[swordmaid]

creator tag meme

tagged by the local angel @giuseppearcimboldo thank you so much lizzie!

rules: it’s time to love yourselves! choose your 5 (ish) favorite works you created in the past year (fics, art, edits, etc.) and link them below to reflect on the amazing things you brought into the world in 2020. tag as many writers/artists/etc. as you want (fan or original) so we can spread the love and link each other to awesome works!

VERY happy i can fill this out because i’ve been so productive this year lol. also this is all gonna be jb bc ive been RELENTLESS and spamming and i would apologize but i wont lmao 

1. jb eros/psyche au.

i am talking about everything i have done for the au btw, because i’ve done quite a handful of things and honestly i really love all of them--even the doodle ones which rarely happens. anyway, i love this au in general. i think the tale is perfect for them, and i’m happy with the works that i managed to put out most esp this one that’s based on canova’s sculpture of eros and psyche. translating sculpture into digital art was interesting since it was all about converting the weight and structure of the sculpture into the screen and i think i managed to do it imo! i love how brienne looks heavy in his arms, i love how strong jaime looks holding her up and i especially love the way i shaded her dress to mimic the lines that the statue has. all in all, this au slapped and i actually want to do more of it but i have no inspiration right now. 

2. jb as classical art series. 

honestly i never thought that this was going to be a series lol i thought it was just a two time thing, but then i did another one, and then another one, and then another one and now here we are. i love all the pieces that i’ve done for it actually. my favourite thing is that they’re all not direct translations of the original art. there are some aspects that i’ve taken and adapted while also putting my own flair into it. i love the reverse colour scheme with klimt’s kiss and my own rendition of it. the gold being the accent highlight in a field of murky brown/black whereas klimt has the black squares present to emphasis the richness of the gold and yellows. i also like the little thing i did where i put the geometric shapes outside of the subject instead of inside (what he did). i put on the tags that i didnt like how it turned out but i actually like it lol i just didn’t like how long it took me i get too impatient with my art i think. anyway. i love this whole series sm i think all the pieces have their own character, and tbh i always get nervous adding another piece into this just because all the ones that i’ve done has been so well received i don’t want to be a disappointment lool. regardless, i love classical art and i love jb and i love being able to put the two together hehe we love to be self indulgent

3. la belle fleur sauvage commission. 

aka THIS commission that was based from SD’s fic, la belle fleur sauvage. some behind the scenes with that one--that one took me SO long to do, like it was taking longer than i had wanted and i felt very bad and i am forever thankful for sd’s patience 😭😭😭. i really can’t be too mad though since i was working on the third year of my degree, but i still would’ve wanted to finish it sooner than i did. but as for the art itself---i actually love it lol. i always say to zoom in on my stuff to see all the details but i WISH folks would zoom in on that because it’s so big and so intricate. i love how everything turned out; i love how rich the colours are, i love the composition for all three panels, i love how the SKY looked like actually that’s the first time i sat down and painted clouds with that technique and i am so happy and pleased with how it looked im using it for everything LOL, i love jaime’s outfit in the 2nd panel---i actually designed a whole outfit for that and he DOES have his pouches and daggers, etc. stuff that he would have with him if he was a mercenary, but because of the cropping, those details were taken out but it’s THERE. i love the colours and the shading on the 3rd panel. it looks so soft and romantic and it’s everything 😭😭. honestly i didnt know if i was able to finish whole three panels just because of how big the project seemed, but tbqh this piece really pushed me as an artist and im really happy that i had the chance to work on it (-’: 

4. early morning.

this one is a more recent piece and i was thinking post canon jaime/brienne married and either living in casterly rock or evenfall hall. originally the sheets were gonna be red with the gold brocade but i just made it green to make their location more ambiguous. they’re in a castle because of the finery, but which castle i have no idea. anyway i love their faces here in particular--jaime because it’s not often that i draw him old (this is the second time i drew old jaime i think?) and i love how he turned out here. i love how he looks like a silver fox and a dilf and we really do love that for brienne. full disclosure, i have no idea how to draw older folks since i don’t have a lot of practice in that area so im glad my lack of experience doesn’t show lmao. i also love how soft brienne looks here! the little smile on her lips is very sweet, her body language and how relax she seems is very telling abt her confidence in this scene also i think i drew her hands hella well haha. all in all i think it’s a really sweet art! and the full version is not so bad either jaime’s ass was referenced from marble sculptures so you know im aiming for Quality. but i love this headcanon of a younger brienne tiring jaime out, i’ve read a handful fics about it and im happy i can do my own version of it hehe 

5. unravel.

wow we love domesticity. someone said that if you compile all my ns*w art of them together it’s like they haven’t left their bed ever since they got together and you know what? love that for them it’s what they deserve. anyway i chose this one because of how sensual and simple it is. their body language really does all the talking ; jaime’s hand pulling on the ties on her shift, her hand on his hair, how soft and lazy their kiss looks--it’s enough to tell the story me thinks! i just love how simple this whole thing is but it’s very effective. there’s really not much to it besides what you see but that’s really enough.

i am actually very proud of myself with how productive i’ve been. it’s really not often that i get as much drive and energy to post so much art. iirc my art tag is nearly 200 content already (i think it’s 180 ish rn?) and honestly that’s a LOT if you told me ill be making more than 100+ content for jb i would’ve been like nah im too lazy for that lmao. but im really proud of myself this year! i think i pushed myself as an artist and i’ve familiarized myself more with my strengths as well as my weaknesses. i have a clear idea on the areas that i need to work on, and i’ve really gotten more comfortable with being happy with my own pieces and i’m trying not to put myself down more if something doesn’t go the way i want it to. also, i’ve had the opportunity to work with more people this year--so for the people who has commissioned me or IS commissioning me rn--- thank you so much for trusting me with your visions 😭😭 ive never expected to get this kind of reception with my art but i am very grateful for all of it. 

anyway as for the tagging i tag -- @na-bruma-leve / @dreadwulf / @dilfjaime / @fawnilu BUT i would highly recommend you to come along and snatch this tag meme up like a little raccoon because we all should start being proud of our own works imo !!

#long post / #this whole ass essay is me gushing about myself how gemini can i be

[queerchoicesblog]

New Beginnings

Folks, here’s a new update of the wlw story set in the Sixties, my third  miniseries of the wlw writing project. New beginnings have quite a lot in store for our stewardess MC!

The final Sixties miniseries update will be out either later this week or next week.

Hope you enjoy it: if you do, please consider spreading the word!

Previous Chapters: Living The Dream, The Girl Next Door

_____________________________

The following day I got my long awaited promotion: a generous rise and from now on only international routes for me. I made it to the big league. My world was crumbling underneath my feet but I made it. I received the news as a blessing. I followed the advice Nancy gave me when she called back to check in on me. A few days later I packed my stuff and crashed at a colleague's place: thank God, I made good friends among my former crew members and Joanna kindly agreed to host me while I looked for a new place to stay. Neither Nancy nor Jo know the full truth about the photographer who broke my heart, her sex: ironically, 'bastard' and other epithets are wonderfully neutral. Their sympathy and support helped me healing a little. It took time but, as Mom said when I accidentally let it slip during a call, I had my new beginning to focus on. I was the Pan Am stewardess every girl dreams to be one day.

I still remember the thrill that coursed through my veins as I boarded my first gigantic Boeing 712, destination Tahiti. I don't know how my voice kept appealing and steady as I explained the route and thanked the passengers for choosing Pan American Airways. I had to squeeze my colleague's hand when we took off as my heart was hammering out of the purest joy. Well, that's my life now. My parents and Nancy must have a collection of the postcards I send them from Rio, Honolulu, London, Rome, Berlin, Tokyo...you name a place on the map, I've probably been there at least once. I always send one to the address Noah gave us: I hope he receives them even if his letter are rare these days. I also sent him an autograph by Sandra Dee: last time I checked he had a big crush on her so I couldn't refrain myself when I bumped into her at a celebrity party our crew was invited to. She even pressed a lipstick kiss on the napkin when I told her my brother was a marine serving in Vietnam. I hope the war ends soon: despite what censorship cuts off from his letters, I know him and I know he's not happy there. I want my Noah back, his silly jokes and Rock Hudson look. I wish I would have spotted him waiting in line to check in for a flight to sunny Los Angeles instead of that photographer who "cared for me". I would have run at him full speed and he, turning at the right moment just like in the movies, would have waved at me and pulled me in a long swaying hug. "Long time no see, sister!" he would have laughed and we would have cried tears of joy uncaring of the people watching us. Then I would have ruffled his hair - how he hated that! - and guided him home, where he belonged, not sunny California nor Vietnam. I wasn't so lucky, I got the photographer instead. Despite a couple of years has now passed since that morning I walked out of her messy flat, she looks the same. For a moment I wondered if she'd succeeded in winning that girl's heart back. She's travelling solo as far as I can tell: either she's embarking on a new adventure or running towards someone she loves...or so she thinks. I find hard to believe she knows the difference. I kept walking towards my destination. I'm grateful she didn't see me: we don't have anything else to say to each other. We're strangers now. "Excuse me, ma'am, do you have a lighter?" My train of thoughts derails with the voice of another stranger. I turn my head to find a waitress leaning down on me with a cigarette in her hand. "Oh yes, sure" I pick up my lighter and light her cigarette. She takes a blow and exhales, thanking me. But to my surprise she doesn't walk away. After a moment, during which she probably debated whether to go for it or not, she speaks again. "Actually...do you mind if I join you...?" Her question lingers until I realize she's waiting for me to say my name. "Sadie" I say. "And please, suit yourself" As she takes a seat, I shake my head. "Forgive me, it's been a long day and usually people just read my name on the tag" "Well, Mom taught me not to stare at women's breasts because it's rude: 'look right in the eye and ask, my dear girl, right in the eye', she says" she jokes, shrugging. "How thoughtful!" I laugh and I don't do that just out of curtesy: she's genuinely funny. I take a look at her, I haven't noticed her before: how long she's been working here? To be honest, I hardly pay attention to airport clerks and waiters, I'm always on the go. "So, on a break....?" I add, letting my question lingers just as she did. "Oh yes, my shift started an hour ago but since there's no one here the boss gave us a little extra break-" "Nice but I was hoping to get your name too without looking disrespectfully at your breast, mademoiselle" We look at each other for a while then she burst into laughter and I follow. "Learning from the best, I see" she comments jokingly, catching her breath. "It's Kelsey" I bow my head lightly and we exchange a quick smile. "Pan Am, huh?" she nudges at my uniform as she inhales the smoke. "It shows?" I smile, striking a magazine cover pose that makes her laugh again. "Where did you fly to today? Or yesterday, I should probably say" "Paris" I say, in my best French accent. By the look of wonder that crosses her eyes I can tell she's never been there. Only heard of it. "Wow, romantic" she notes. I chuckle, finishing off my cigarette. "Paris is romantic only if you have a lover to stroll down the Seine with. I'm just a stewardess" I claim and well, it's true: the City of Love is not as romantic without a plus one, even if the girls and I had fun during our land off there, shopping, exploring and dining in lovely bistrot. "I thought you had a companion for your dreamy walk down the river" she shrugs, gesturing to the conspicuous teddybear in beret and striped shirt quietly sitting on a chair at my side. "Oh no, Monsieur Ted and I met in Montmarte. It was a...coup de foudre!" I comment, keeping my face straight long enough to make us both burst into another round of laughters. "It's a gift." I explain. "My best friend has a little girl, it's a gift for her. It's her birthday soon and I promised to be there, I'm sort of an aunt to her. I can't go empty handed and this guy looked nice" Nicole's face softens imperceptibly. "I'm sure she'll love it. I mean, I would have given everything to get a French teddy from my fancy aunt who flies around the world every day" I smile at the compliment. Was it a compliment? I like to think so. "How long have you been working here? I've been based here for a while but I'm afraid I don't remember you" I inquiry, hoping not to offend her. She exhales smoke and gestures it's nothing. "You flight crews are always in a hurry, we don't take it personally" Her lips quickly curl into a shy smile. "It's been a year. Well, it will be a year in a month" she explains. "It's not much but it's an honest job and just what I was looking for. The boss is fair enough and it helps paying the nurse school tuition" "Wanna be a nurse?" "Yeah, I've spent too much time with grandma during my childhood" she chuckles but the hint of a smile suggests she remembers that time quite fondly. "She worked as a nurse during the war and she used to tell me stories of back then...I'm not sure I was supposed to hear all of them but she kept talking. So I ended up being of those weird little girls who had a doll hospital in her bedroom and sew broken teddy bears to cure them. Nurse school sounded like the most logical choice" "That's sweet" I consider. "Why not a doctor though?" "Ah, I'm not sure about it...maybe in the future but I will be happy enough as a nurse, I think" I smile at her earnest answer as she continues nonchalantly. "Just like I'm quite happy now to see flight crews come and go and memorise their order-" "Oh, what's my usual order then?" I tease her. She takes a pause as if I caught her cheating then she guesses right: long black, no sugar, just a drop of milk. I tell her I wish I had her memory when I serve on board. "I'm sure you're doing just fine up there" she smiles encouragely. "And even when I'm not, a nice pair of legs and a charming smile will do the trick, won't they?" I sigh: I might not be too fond of certain looks I receive but that's how things go, I guess. At least, they saved me from getting complaints; on the contrary, on my first flight my supervisor was pleasantly impressed by my "impeccable manners and overall look" as she wrote down on my report. Kelsey opens the mouth to speak again - by the look on her face probably that she didn't mean it like that - but I anticipate her. It's how things go, she must know it too. When I worked at the diner, the costumers refrained from assessing me those looks or pinch me because they had too much respect for my parents. Most of them were long time friends as far as I can remember. So I was quite safe...I hope cute Kelsey is too. A silence falls between us. I immediately wondered if I said something wrong, I'm so used to uncomfortable silence filled with unsaid accusations and complaints that I tense up. But I soon realize that...it's okay. I did nothing wrong, she's silently agreeing with me and maybe pondering what to say next. A look filled with shy curiosity is on her face when she finally speaks again. "Can I ask you something?" "Shoot" She takes a pause as if she's still translating her own thought into words or wondering if she's not crossing a line with her curiosity. "Do you ever get homesick travelling all the time?" That's...not what I was expecting but after all, what was I expecting? Not sure how I can answer that. "Odd question to ask a stewardess" I note, rising my eyebrow and taking time. "I mean, you're always somewhere else, in between places and time zones...one might feels a bit homesick, lost maybe..." Then she shakes her head and falling back to her chair. "I'm sorry I'm just being nosey, that was a silly-" "No, it's an interesting question. I've never given that much thought... I don't know, I've never felt that way, I felt free when I boarded my first plane. I still do when I'm up there in the sky. I think most of us feel that thrill but it's just my point of view. My best friend once argued that mine is not real freedom just a - how did she call it? - oh yes, a strategic retreat so..." I chuckle, reminiscing the conversation Nancy and I had in the kitchen as I helped her with the dishes. The 'concerned sister' look she gave me, handing me a wet dish to dry. 'I'm not saying it's wrong or judging you, Sadie...I have no doubt you're living the exciting life you've always dreamed, God that every girl now dream. But you can't run away forever...' "Maybe it is different if you have something to come back to. That changes things, I suppose. Some miss family, their kids..." I continue. "And you? Do you have something to go back to?" Her question leaves me speechless and gaping. Sure, I have my parents, my friends, Nancy but she has a family of her own now as many others. My brother is far away and out of reach fighting in a war he never fully endorsed. "I don't know" I admit after a moment. Voices come from the main counter urging Kelsey to go back to work. She gives me an apologetic look before searching her pockets. "Well, while you keep looking and flying around the world, at least know that you're always welcome here" She lays a couple of cafe vouchers on the table; then she takes her leave with a gracious smile. "Sadie, Monsieur Ted...it's been a pleasure" "Likewise, Kelsey" I say, waving the teddybear arm. I should probably go home and get some rest: I wasn't joking when I said it's been a long day. I collect my vouchers, pay leaving a generous tip and head to the parking lot. When I wake up in my bed, it's getting dark outside. I brew the third coffee of the day and unpack my bag. As I collect my uniform for the laundry, the vouchers slip off the pocket I secured them into. I make to pick them up when I notice something handwritten behind one of them. I look carefully and it's a phone number with a little airplane doddle to the side. Call me ~ Kelsey

#wlw writing #wlw writing project #original work #wlw miniseries #lgbtq #sixties

[noorengels]

reasons i am sad (friendship edition)

in year 4 my best friend invited everyone to her birthday party and not me and they all actually kept it a secret really well they almost pulled it off except she held her party in la plaza which basically is the hangout spot for families in that area i spent all my fridays there playing until midnight bc literally everyone from school would go. so i was walking home with my entire family inc grandparents and uncles and we went through la plaza and there they were! every single one of my friends at her party! apparently her mum didnt let her invite me bc apparently i hit her which i didn’t i hit another girl so her excuse is invalid and its the first time ive been so publicly excluded i cried on a bench.

in year 7 we hated this girl bc she was so fake i genuinely believe she is a psychopath like she has all the symptoms except shes in set 5 maths lol so my friend was like what if i spread a rumour about her and i was like lol do it and she did and for some reason i was blamed??? and lost all of my friends and she bullied me so hard but i didnt realise bc i was “friends” with her bc our mums were friends so shed like walk with me to lessons and talk to me while belittleing me and idk she was just a fucking bitch she made me feel so horrible like it was emotional bullying but also like telling everyone who i liked and saying lmao you literally have no friends “count how many friends you have? omg you literally cant even reach ten can you???” like in front of everyone but then shed also be really nice to me at the same time like idk it was like she was my friend but she bullied me it was so horrible saffa i hate you and the original friend who spread the rumour went on to become her best friend for like 6 years so uh hate that

managed to make friends with people not in my class in year 8! which sucked bc saffa had alienated people in my class so now they all just didnt like me i was the weird girl with no friends because of her and it was so horrible bc id always be forced to join the ready made groups between friends by the teacher  bc i didnt have a group to work with or id get paired with the weird girl like i was only the weird girl after saffa made everyone hate me this girl was weird bc she just is idk 

in year 10 they made a gc without me! i basically created that group tho like i gathered these friends i hade made in different lessons (obviously not in my main class lol) and they literally just??? decided to exclude me for no reason. and then theyd talk about what they talked about in the gc in front of me like “omg remember last night on the gc” isha ur so fucking boring no normal person talks about their gc with the same people again do u have no other conversational points smh

in year 11 it got so bad to the point where once i sat with them and they all just left! like they took their stuff and moved to the table behind me i wanted to cry so bad i did at home i think its the worst one out of all of these because it happened to my face? idk saffa was horrible too but this was just “were leaving” idk like ive never felt as horrible as i did in that moment i cant even describe how im feeling rn reliving it

its okay bc i made friends with my best friend from sciences + history bc our surnames are next to each other so we always sat together! i honestly clung to this girl after that bc i refused to spend a second longer with that other group after 3 years of enduring not even being liked by ur friends so i made friends with her friends which was easy bc yes! 

so by the first term of year 12 i had three friends! in fact one of them was like ur not having a birthday party??? im taking u out to eat so my first birthday event thing in literally years was all thanks to arun i am honestly so grateful for him he didnt even go bc he was busy and we planned it the day before my birthday but it was literally me and two friends eating pizza at zizzis and im crying so much rn but year 12 was when i found people who genuinely cared about me

we established a group of like 8 lol and were planning a holiday for the end of year 13! very skam of us! we had a gc and everything! we were gonna go to spain bc im spanish so i could speak!

this trip was unspoken of in year 13 and i was like lol kinda weird um okay but nope nothing weird about it they just created a chat without me and were still going to spain!!! one of them even sent me screenshots of their airbnb to translate its like u want me to know lol

i did complain to one of them but thats it i was just hurt on my own and coronavirus happened so it got cancelled anyways so i won really

in yr 13 i also got closer to this boy called adam! i remember my friend was like you two would get on so well idk why ur not friends and i was like idk its adam lol do i really want to and yes i did bc he is in fact the isak to my sana! but anyways i hate him but i love him we have that kinda friendship where were alwAYS trying to beat the other one up and honestly the most heart felt goodbye when schools shut was between us both bc at first we were fighting and then he just stopped and his eyes softened and i was like whats wrong with you why arent u punching me and he went come here and we hugged and its like wow despite being a dick ill miss you

anyways so uhhh quarantine we skyped often it was fun and then restrictions were lifted i went to spain and the second i land they all stop talking in the gc????? like im abroad not dead why are u creating a new one??? this gc was agressively spammed so i know for a fact theres another im not stupid

i come back from spain and theyre like can we meet!!! we meet three weeks later and theyr like i missed u so much im so happy uou came i love you and it felt really genuine like they genuinely missed me

two days later i find out through snapchat theyve all gone on holiday together!!!!!!!!!!!!! all of them and just ofc didnt invite me they went to the beach for two days and kept posting about it and im so bitter about it like bro???????? why so secretive????? like i cried so much when i saw bc they still just idk why does every single friendgroup ive ever been in exclude me like i must be the problem theres no other explanation for it i am not the kind of person people want to have around i am so funny but im a bitch and will come for ur ass because i have the inability to lie i have no filter either which i know makes them dislike me i know it does but thats the price you oay for being my friend i just say things as it is becauxe i hate secrets bc secrets are always about excluding me so i rather be honest and upfront but that clearly puts people off bc im too upfront and im not getting a personality transplant im not tryna be boring but im so sick of always being the one on her own

adam was relevant uh hews my only friend rn he checked up on me the other day so cheers adam for making sure im not completely isolated

the funny thing is that all my friends hate adam bc “hes a dick” hes not he just says things how it is were so similar so if they hate adam they hate me and im over being hated lol bye!

i start uni next week and i clearly have no social skills so im not gonna make friends im so scared of being lonely i hate being left out

this went from sad to full on angry like i was crying at some point and now im fuming like im so hot rn my blood pressure isnt doing okay

#my manifesto #sua: extreme #venting #xoxo #no ones had more friendship drama than me i refuse to believe it #this is 1526 words long #shut up ali

[dragonrajafanfiction]

Dragon Dancer IV: Goodbye, Tokyo

I stood behind Zihang’s chair, running a lock of his dark hair through with a comb, spreading the shiny strands in my fingers, and then, taking a pair of shears, snipped the ends into a straight line.

Chu Zihang sat quiet and still. Were it not for his coal black eyes, wide like an elk’s, I would have thought he was just the same as always. 

Meanwhile, Lu Mingfei examined himself in the mirror turning his head back and forth examining my work.. “Not bad, Meix- er... Fengchu.”

I glanced at him with a small smile. “Thanks. I had a lot of practice.”

There were large and small boxes all over the floor. Some boxes contained light and heavy weapons, some boxes contained medicines and clothing for all seasons. Others contained compressed food, enough for the four of us to live in a wasteland. 

Two boxes were just for supplies for Ru’Yi including diapers of different sizes, reusable cloth ones.

It didn’t feel like fleeing, but like moving.

I walked around Chu Zihang to work on the bangs over his eyes. It was his usual haircut. Of course, he didn’t know that.

“Wow, what a handsome style this is turning out to be....” Nono rubbed her chin.

“He’s handsome in any style.” I said.

Zihang glanced down, his cheeks turning a little pink.

“All the girls should chase him, but he has no one even in high school?” Nono asked suspiciously.

I was grateful for that, of course, but I bit my tongue and stepped away. “What do you think?”

“I like it.” He said in an almost inaudible mumble.

Lu Mingfei was watching us, his eyes distant. Who knew what he was thinking?But I could guess.

Erii. Did she cut his hair like this? I looked up but he turned away before I could say anything and pulled a cap on his head.

I opened my mouth to say something.

“I’ll be back later.” He said, picking up Chu Zihang’s backpack.

“What are you doing with his pack?” Nono asked. 

“I have some...shopping... we still lack a detailed map and I won’t be using Fingel’s navigation until we can make sure he is not being tracked. There’s a bookstore nearby.”

“Cold-hearted! I would rather toss myself in the nearest toilet than betray you but you still distrust me!” came the voice of Fingel from his pocket.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I went back to my room, planning to go to bed early, after feeding Ru’Yi well. This might be the last time we could sleep together in comfort like this. I looked down at Ru’Yi’s dark eyes. They were heavy with fatigue but she stayed awake. I wondered if she would grow up on the run. I thought to myself that maybe I could find a place for us to hide for a while. I’d change my name and then one day, I would tell her the truth about everything that happened around her birth.

How just like the Christ, she’d been attacked as a young child and we had to flee. And a handsome young man from the East came bearing her gifts.

She fell asleep quickly and I swaddled her and set her on a folded blanket on the floor.

A knock sounded at the door. I grabbed Tongzi and walked up to the foyer. “Who is it?” I called.

“It’s Saeki-kun!”

I frowned. “Who is Saeki-kun? I don’t know that name.”

I heard a loud sigh. “It’s Crow. I don’t want to be called that you know.”

I cracked the door, eying him in suspicion, not undoing the chain.

He looked at me with a hurt expression. “Really, all this and you come at me with a sword?”

Belatedly, I put the sword out of sight. “Don’t feel bad. I don’t really trust anyone any more. I know you say you’re watching your back but if I don’t watch mine, who’s going to watch it?”

He gave me a crooked smile. “I get it. Well, I won’t waste your time. I’m here to tell you about our escape plans. I’ve prepared ship for you. It’s a cargo ship, typically transports trash, but it also trades in black market goods and illegal immigrants.”

“A boat?” My eyes narrowed. “Are you sure?”

“I’ve made sure that captain understands the importance of getting you to your destination... by taking his whole family hostage.” His voice lowered and his smile disappeared.

I licked my lips. “Wow.”

“Convinced yet?”

“Ninety percent...”

“What?! What do I have to do?” He pushed back his bangs.

“Hey! It’s just you that saying you kidnapped his family. You have no evidence of it!”

“Why would I have evidence of a crime!” He hissed at me.

“Okay, in case of emergency how do we get off?”

“Huh?” He blinked. 

“If things go south, how do we get off the ship!” My eyes narrowed. “I’ll feel better if I feel like I can escape in case something goes wrong.”

“Every ship has life boats...”

“You didn’t think of a plan B for the ship?!”

“I did but I can’t tell you. Trust me. I have a plan for the Executive bureau....”

“I don’t trust anyone any more!” My voice was starting to shake. “Crow, you tell me there’s a way off or I’m going to assume this is a death trap!”

He slammed his palm against door post and snarled into my face. “I love Ru’Yi.”

I shrank away and he lowered his head. 

“Look. Nothing is one hundred percent. I’m doing everything I can here. If I could... I’d go with you.”

“Why don’t you?” I asked the question sharply. If the ship was good enough for us, it should be good enough for him, right?

He looked up at me, hurt radiating from his eyes. I forced myself to meet them, not willing to budge an inch on this. 

“Because my father... he’s getting old. His mind is going. He can’t make his appointments if I don’t remind him. If I get sent to the isles, Hydra will break me out, and take care of him, but if I go with you? He might be at risk.”

I hesitated a moment to let go of my suspicions but then I relented, nodding my head. “Thank you... for everything.”

“Nah...” He waved me away. “If I could do it all over again, I’d do a better job. This is one last chance for me to get it all right. Lancelot knows you want to escape Japan so he’s monitoring all the ports. But this smuggling ship won’t go to a normal port.”

“Okay.” I whispered.

He smiled at me, his eyes soft. “Is there anything else you need?”

I thought a moment and shook my head.

“Then be ready to go. 2 am sharp.”

The pier was far away from the harbor area familiar to most people. There were no commercial buildings, only the endless rocky beach and the black undulating sea. The gray concrete pillars extended one by one toward the depths of the water, an unfinished trestle bridge for unloading cargo.

Only cargo ships were loaded and unloaded here and usually they transported high-value commodities. Looking out, rusty containers were piled around the wharf. The air was filled with a slight metallic smell. 

My eyes were wide, searching for any signs that we were being followed or watched. It had been a long time since I had been in the open like this. Ru’Yi slept against my back, bundled in a tight wrap. The wrap also held Spiderfang and Tongzi at my side.

I looked at Nono and she too stayed vigilant.

Crow, however, calmly leaned on his red sports car, waiting and humming a tune.

“What are you singing?”

“The dock is my father’s fishing pole, my brother and I are standing at the two ends of the pole.” Lu Mingfei translated to us. “Sounds like a Japanese folk song.”

“It’s from my hometown! When we were young, we both waited for my father to come back from the pier. He’d bring back fresh fish, and my mother would make fish soup and tofu for us.”

Nono turned to him. “I thought your father was a gangster? Since when did he take up fishing?”

I glanced at Nono, hackles rising again.

Crow threw up his hands. “Do you think I grew up on Tokyo? We collected protection money from the fishermen! He came from the pier after collecting!  You women and your trust issues!”

Nono rolled her eyes but didn’t continue to question.

The wind blowing on the sea was getting colder and colder. I checked to make sure Ru’Yi’s knitted hat was staying on her head. Tonight, we were all wearing the uniforms of the Japanese Executive Bureau: Long black trench coats, with the special customized Ukiyo-e pattern in the lining.

“That trestle bridge is also thanks to my brother...” He suddenly stopped talking.

He spit out the cigarette in his mouth, stomped it out with the toe of his shoe and strode forward. “How are you my friend! I missed you so much, my white sail, the portrait of my ship, the strongest male seagull among us. My dear captain!”

From the darkness ahead came a middle aged man wearing a white uniform with a pale face.  I could smell the alcohol and oil from a long distance. The man and Crow hugged vigorously and rubbed their chins together in a strange greeting.

“He’s a Slav.” Nono muttered, just loud enough for me to hear.

My uneasiness grew at his rough and unkempt appearance. How could I trust this dirty alcoholic stranger with my child’s life? I wanted off this boat and I hadn’t even gotten on it.

Nono noticed my discomfort. “Yeah I know... but Crow has kidnapped this man’s family and I’m sure if anyone harasses any of us, they’ll have Chu Zihang to contend with.”

The captain took out a bottle of vodka from his trouser pocket and handed it to Crow. Crow unscrewed it and took a sip. They spoke Japanese and what sounded like Russian. If I didn’t know any better, I would say that Crow was truly a sailor and not a gangster at all.

He returned to us and enthusiastically introduced us. “My good brother, Captain Aliyev will take you out of Japan. There are not many people who dare to enter and exit the port of Tokyo directly. The Aliyev brothers run the smoothest on this route and have never lost their cargo!”

I nodded but couldn’t help but frown at the vodka bottle.

“We will unload the cargo in Vladivostok in seven days. Within seven days, I will guarantee your safety.” Captain Aliyev seemed very proud. “Our ship is of very high level. Although we dare not say we are being escorted by warships, if anything happens, we will raise an alarm! And there will be warships coming from nearby within an hour. No one has ever dared to embarrass us on the high seas!”

Crow looked at me and gave me a thumbs up.

I expelled a breath and smiled, returning his thumbs up. 

But in truth, I had already planned my own escape.

After our conversation earlier this night, I couldn’t sleep. I spent about an hour researching destinations to teleport to if needed. I decided against any more islands and settled on a place called La Rinconada, high in the mountains of Peru.

It was a six hour ride from the nearest city. There were no paved roads and buses were irregular. The biggest advantage it had was the fact that anyone coming into such a place would be noticed long before they got there. It was landlocked, making for an easy escape once we needed to escape again.

I wouldn’t depend on the assurances of the captain or Crow.

“Why would armed ships come to the rescue of a garbage ship?” Mingfei asked, surprised.

Crow leaned over and whispered something in Mingfei’s ear. Mingfei let out a little... “Oh!” and nodded.

I glanced over, frowning. Why couldn’t he tell me?

“Ladies and gentlemen, please come on board with me, your bed and vodka are ready!” Captain Aliyev cheered.

“My friend, I will leave it to you! I owe you big time, Cap!” Crow shouted as he made his way back to his car.

He leaned against his sports car, looking at me. I felt that there should be more to say than this, but he waved his hand, shooing me off.

I gave him a wave and turned to follow the captain. As soon as I reached the captain’s side however, Crow shouted again. “I’ll take care of your wife and children!”

A shiver ran down my spine.

The ship was worse than I imagined. No matter how high a priority the cargo, a garbage ship still smelled like garbage, fish, and rusty steel. We were supposed to spend our escape in a literal floating dumpster!

The living area was below the deck, and Aliyev led us through the dark passageway. Nono was alert to everything, memorizing the dark halls to find her way back later on her own. I followed her lead, mentally marking signs in my head to make sure I understood the route back to the upper decks. 

With her ability to profile and read people, Nono was also good as a watch dog. If anyone here seemed out of place, she would let us know.

Aliyev stopped at the end of a passage, the two doors on each side of the hall made for four cabins.

“Vodka, soft beds, 24-hour hot water. This is the best place to to live on this boat.” He squinted at us. “Why are you such good friend of Mr. Saeki?”

He didn’t wait for a reply. “Don’t walk around for your own safety. Many men on boat. Always sad, depressed and lonely. You are very beautiful... and they get drunk.”

Nono gave a loud snort and pushed into the door.

Mingfei went in the opposite door from Nono

Chu Zihang dutifully went to follow Nono but suddenly hesitated, looking at me. 

I walked past him and then grabbed his arm, leaning into his ear to whisper. “Sleep with your sword tonight.”

I picked the door next to Mingfei’s.

The cabin was quite tidy, and there was even a small round porthole to look outside. But the so-called 24-hour hot water was just a shower head and the unlimited vodka was also the cheap kind, not that I cared.

The Captain stood at the door watching me. “He told me to make sure you had everything you needed. Are you his wife?”

“When are we sailing?” I asked with some annoyance.

“The goods are loaded and we can leave at any time.” He held out a key to me.

I stared at him, frowning. “Toss it on the bed.”

He shrugged and did so. “I will ask the crew to bring in your other luggage later.”

“Are there lifeboats?”

“Of course! We must follow maritime law.”

I squinted at him in silence. Was this guy talking about law when he was smuggling fugitives? “Okay. Thank you very much.”

He turned and his heavy footsteps receded down the hall.

I hissed through my teeth. “I don’t trust these people. I don’t trust these people!”

I unwrapped Ru’Yi and laid her on the bed and then I sat on the bed, looking out the porthole window, holding Tongzi and Spider Fang in my lap.

In a few moments Lu Mingfei came in and saw me. He held a device in his hand. “You’re worried to, huh? I brought a bug scanner.”

I smiled with immense relief as he swept the room. “Nono’s already got her Beretta heavy pistol assembled and loaded. Only now she’s taking sips of vodka.” He said, chuckling.

After a few minutes of scanning, he nodded. “Alright... looks like the room is clean of bugs. We’re good to go.”

“Thanks Mingfei.”

“Any time.”  He put the device back in his pocket. “Get some rest, Meixiu.”

“Call me Hamilton.” I smiled. 

“I’m not calling you that.” 

As he turned to leave, I spoke up. “By the way, anything goes down, come find me. I have a place we can teleport to.” 

"I know I can count on you.” He gave me a thumbs up, then walked away and shut the door.

#Dragon Dancer #Dragon Raja #Writing #Fanfiction #Chen Moutong #Nono #Lu Mingfei #Mingfei Lu #Luminous #Chu Zihang #Johann Chu

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 238: Shigaraki Tomura: Tattered Goth Remix

Previously on BnHA: Young Shimura Tenko killed his whole family, as angsty young misguided antagonist characters sometimes do, and then proceeded to wander the streets feeling all sad about it until All for One just happened!! to come across him and was all “oh you poor thing it looks like you killed your whole family by accident, let me just adopt you and raise you to be my own personal killing machine.” We got some more flashbacks showing just how this transformation took place, plus some answers about the hands that kind of just raised more questions though tbh, and watched as little Tenko made his first premeditated kill after a number of effed up AFO pep talks. AFO then rechristened him “Shigaraki Tomura”, and we learned that Shigaraki is actually AFO’s own last name. The chapter ended back in the present day, with Tomura reflecting on how his family’s death wasn’t really a tragedy after all and ended up setting him free. We’ll have to agree to disagree, kid, but in the meantime have fun fucking up Re-Destro and dealing with Gigantomachia’s rampage!

Today on BnHA: Re-Destro tries to smash Tomura at 100% and absolutely nothing happens. So then he summons a bunch of robot armor bits like fucking Iron Man, and levels up to 150%! Tomura could not care less, because he’s leveled up to be one of those “yawn, is that all you got?” bad guys now, and while RD desperately tries to intimidate him, we briefly check in with the rest of the League. Everyone is freaking out at how quickly Machia is destroying the Liberation Army, and Compress calls Ujiko and frantically begs him to warp them all to safety. But Ujiko is all “nah” and says he wants to drive Tomura into a corner. Meanwhile Gigantomachia finally takes out Dairy Queen, since Dabi was doing fuckall, and the chapter ends with Tomura possibly killing Re-Destro?? To be honest it’s really unclear. For all I know the dude just dropped dead of a heart attack from all that stress. In fact, now that I’ve typed that, I kind of think that’s what did happen. Anyway! The point is I’m pretty sure the battle is finally over.

(All comments are my unspoiled reactions from my initial readthrough of the chapter. I did a quick edit for grammar and clarity immediately afterward, and added one or two ETAs in the process, but aside from that there are no changes.) 

so I mentioned this in an ask post a couple days ago, but this recap is a day late because I was out of town this week. consequently I’m behind on my asks and other things as well (I know, what else is new), so I’m sorry about that!

also! @temperatezone informed me that there’s yet another BnHA spinoff coming out, and that the preview chapter debuted last week! so I went to check it out, and holy shit, it’s a manga all about the U.A. kids teaming up with various pro heroes!!!!??!! between this and the new anime season coming up in just two months (it’ll fly by) and BakuDeku: Heroes Rising coming out in December, I feel like I’m being fucking spoiled with BnHA content. and I didn’t even mention the 2nd light novel which just had its official English translation released last month! so all in all it’s a lot of good stuff, and I desperately want to recap chapter 0 of the new spinoff as soon as possible, but it’ll probably be a few days unfortunately, unless I decide to be very irresponsible and do that instead of the piles of work I should actually be doing. we’ll see which impulses actually win out sob

fortunately Jump is on a break next week if I recall, so that’ll give me some time to catch up. anyway let’s start this thing before I manage to procrastinate anymore! so the new chapter is called “Liberation”, probably after a certain army

and the chapter is picking up where we left off before, with Tomura taking his Father Hand out of his pocket and saying he doesn’t need it or any of his other hands

ooooooh

maybe the title isn’t referring to the Liberation Army after all! or just one of those cool double meaning things

oooh man

god but that is satisfying. is there anything more satisfying than seeing a character you’ve been rooting for finally reach out and take control of their own destiny? ahhhh yessss that’s the good shounen shit right there

lol Re-Destro

he finally scared you into using your ~full power~, huh? punk

don’t mind me I’m just appreciating how much of a total badass my boy here is

your move, RD. personally if it were me, I wouldn’t want to fuck with him anymore! but hey your funeral bud

hmmm

the last few chapters have been so well-drawn that I’m starting to think I was maybe getting spoiled. I wonder if Horikoshi will re-do these later for the volume release

anyway so it seems like what’s happening is that RD is trying to hit Tomura with another Almighty Bitchslap and Tomura is not having any of it, basically

oh wow

and this isn’t even the Gigantomachia damage. will there be any pieces of this town left larger than a toothpick once all is said and done here?? stay tuned! but the answer is no

so the rest of this two page spread is just more panels showing vague high-contrast images of the destruction. we’re also briefly cutting to Gigantomachia! and to Dabi, who is still fighting Pinkberry, and like, dude, come on. finish him off already

and now the dust is clearing after that latest clash, and would you guys fucking look at this dramatic bitch though omfg

Shigaraki Tomura: Tattered Goth Remix. you look like the cover of a Bauhaus album. thank god this arc isn’t set somewhere stupidly dark, like, say, a basement

lmao Re-Destro is so mad

once again I would like to point out that you invited him here, you overconfident dishrag

so now Tomura is casually conversing with him

Tomura did you burn one right before this battle. you’re so fucking chill all of a sudden. gotta say that if someone had asked me “what do you think it would take to get Shigaraki Tomura to mellow out” before this arc, I probably would not have answered, “hmm, well maybe flashbacks to his horrific childhood and the violent deaths of all of his loved ones”

well at any rate, watching Re-Destro progressively freak out while Tomura makes more (ﾟ⊿ﾟ) faces is my new form of sustenance, guys

“you seem a bit rattled. a bit ill at ease. perturbed. something’s got you in a tizzy, huh.” ⊂( ・ ̫・)⊃

(ETA: okay but rereading this here, he keeps talking about his heart pounding, and then he goes and summons a fucking robot suit that actually raises his stress on purpose. so like, I don’t know? but I vaguely recall reading a theory on reddit a few weeks ago that RD was going to have a heart attack and it looks like it could really be the case. or not! that last page is really inconclusive.)

and now the Re-Destro flashbacks that absolutely no one asked for! of course!!

-- OH MY GOD

I’M DYING I CAN’T. SEND HELP

Iida I’m so sorry. all this time I have been teasing you and calling you a 40-year-old man, when this whole time it was actually Re-Destro who Benjamin Buttoned his way from his mother’s womb

is he related to the Alpha Kid from the adventures of the Babysitter’s Club? he can’t not be, right? what else could it be? two characters just happening to vaguely resemble one another in a purely coincidental manner?? are you even hearing yourself?! get out!!

um hey, so what the actual fuck is happening

...Krestro??

lol what. Horikoshi Muriel Kouhei, did you seriously just give this fucker Hulkbuster armor. do you just have a list of Marvel comics tribute shit that you check off as you go

so apparently this suit jacks his power up to one hundred and fifty percent! wowwwwwwww

but meanwhile Tomura is all just

what would it take to faze new Toked Goth Remix Tomura, I wonder

sob omg

goddammit now he’s going to want one. Ujiko you’d better get on it

oh my god you guys

I’m starting to feel really bad about all of these nice Twice clones who are being so helpful and are just going to end up dying in the end omg

also, if someone ever asks you, “should I read BnHA,” you can say, “well that depends, how much do you like scenes of characters with two broken arms getting piggyback rides from other characters?” and they’ll be like, “that’s really specific, does that... happen often,” and you can be like, “well it’s officially happened more than once, so”

like, it’s a whole thing now I guess. also, ouch

anyway so Real!Twice is concerned that Machia is having far too easy of a time kicking names and taking ass, and he’s trying to regroup with the rest of the League

oh my god Compress, seriously?

League of Ungrateful Sods, is what you guys are. he’s trying to help you guys out!!

lol Dabi you fucking liar

no you fucking weren’t, you were going to keep fighting him for a million more years. your fight was going to make Goku VS Frieza look like a 15-second Youtube ad. once again, you guys should really be more grateful here

(ETA: why did they even invite Dabi lol. all he did was fight offscreen and have zero (0) flashbacks. fucking tease.)

so now Compress is calling Ujiko and asking him to warp them out of there

what...?

he’s absolutely 100% making this up, right?

lol yeah now even Compress is calling him on it

right, Compress??

okay now Ujiko is straight up telling him no

oh, this is good you guys

Ujiko, I don’t know how to tell you this but while you weren’t looking, the dude hopped on a fucking golf cart and drove his own damn self. and now appears to have made himself pretty damn comfortable in that corner too

oh is Halo Top finally about to fucking die??

the cornerstone?? really?? holy shit, it really is remarkable how thoroughly unprepared these guys actually were in the end

anyway so now more action panels are happening

did Machia kill him? it looks like he survived but just went flying

and what the hell does Hanabata think he’s actually going to be able to do. drive his van at him? give him encouragement??

anyway I guess we’re wrapping this up now, and we’re cutting back to Tomura who’s saying something extremely cool

it is kind of like that. except that it’s bullshit

anyway so it looks like he’s touching the ground and using his decay again and holy shit is this it???

!!!!!

YOU GUYS DID HE JUST DISINTEGRATE RE-DESTRO OH MY GOD. JUST LIKE THAT!!??!

YOU GUYS I HONESTLY CAN’T TELL, ALL I KNOW IS TOMURA TAPPED THE GROUND, AND RE-DESTRO HAD A WEIRD PANEL WHERE YOU COULDN’T SEE WHAT WAS HAPPENING, AND HE HAD A THOUGHT AND IT WAS SUDDENLY CUT OFF, AND THEN WE CUT TO GIGANTOMACHIA WATCHING AND WE COULDN’T REALLY SEE ANYTHING OMG

but can you imagine, though?? “one single strike”?! like oh my god, there wasn’t even any fanfare? if he really did just kill him that is pretty much exactly how I would have wanted it to go down tbh

at any rate, it’s safe to say life just got a hell of a lot more dangerous for our Actual Protagonist with this new power-up. shit. oh my god

well I guess that’s it! does that mean this arc is gonna wrap up next chapter. because I’m also going to be away the 16th, so I’ll be a day late in doing that chapter too. I s2g Horikoshi, if you finally cut back to U.A. on a day that I’m not able to read the chapter right away, I will... well actually I’ll be pretty happy regardless, but secretly I will also believe it’s some sort of conspiracy against me. so just know that

#bnha #boku no hero academia #bnha 238 #shigaraki tomura #re-destro #bnha spoilers #mha spoilers #makeste reads bnha #dabi I can't believe you abandoned your boyfriend for this #just left him hanging there with a severed head in his backpack #on the plus side this really gives me hope for hawks's ability to fool the league in the future #apparently you don't actually have to kill anyone or do anything remotely useful and your fellow league members will still be fine with it #tomura and twice out here carrying the entire organization #twice buddy #they're not paying you enough

[towaniegaita]

MeseMoa. - The dark world view spun together with halyosy and Bunkei

This is an interview from Music Natalie published on 24th October 2019. Here’s the link for the original Japanese text and the photo gallery.

I’ve done my best to translate it but there are still a few places that I’m unsure about. If you notice any mistakes please let me know and I’ll do my best to rectify them.

MeseMoa. have released their new single 'Crossing Threads'. The complete opposite of their previous release 'Heisei Paradigm Change', which brilliantly expressed the beginning of the new era, this single is a dark number about a complicated romance set to a serious melody. Their heartrending voices and beautiful harmonies make the finished piece worthy of a listen.

To commemorate the single's release, in addition to the 9 members we invited the songwriter halyosy, who has been working with them since their days as Musumen., and the YouTuber Bunkei, who directed the music video, to join us for an interview at Music Natalie. We of course heard about episodes from the song's production and highlights of the MV, but also about how they came to be a team and how it feels to work together.

Interviewer: Kawakura Yukiko

Photography: Soga Mime

The reason he began writing songs for MeseMoa.

 ·         First, could you tell us about how halyosy and MeseMoa. met?

 Nibansenji: Originally he was friends with Shirofuku, right?

 Shirofuku: Right. We were both active on NicoNicoDouga.

 halyosy: Shirofuku was uploading dance covers as an 'odorite' and I was uploading vocal covers as an 'utaite', but we often watched each other's videos. Actually, I wanted to see him dancing live, so I went to see him perform at an event in Akihabara long before Musumen. became a thing *laughs*

 All: What!?

 Aoi: You're just a fan!

 halyosy: Ahahahaha. After that we exchanged contact details, and then one day we went to karaoke together.

 Tomitake: How was it? Were you disappointed? *laughs*

 halyosy: Not at all. I was surprised when he shoved the table out of the way and suddenly started dancing in the karaoke booth though.

 Nichan: Heh!?

 Aoi: So Shirofuku can be that active…

 Nozakibento: And? What did you dance to?

 Shirofuku: I'm pretty sure it was by Perfume. After that we discussed about performing together at one point, and halyosy even composed a test song for it, right?

 halyosy: Yeah, I remember that.

 Shirofuku: Before Musumen. began, I was in a trio called perfumen, so he brought along an EDM type song influenced by Perfume. I was amazed by how high quality it was. In the end we never released that song, but when Musumen. was born I knew I wanted him to be the one to make our songs.

 ·         So that's how it all began.

 halyosy: I kept telling him that I wanted to make a song with him, so later on he came to me and said, "Actually, I'm thinking about forming a dance cover group," and asked if I would write an original song for them. That was the beginning.

 Aoi: And that turned into our 1st single 'War Cry ~What's Wrong with Pretending to be an Idol!~'

 halyosy: Right. But at first it was just meant to be a commemorative thing. We were kind of joking around *laughs*

 ·         But from then halyosy became something like MeseMoa.'s exclusive songwriter.

 Shirofuku: That's right. We're always so grateful to him!

 halyosy: And I to you.

 ·         When did the members other than Shirofuku first meet halyosy then?

 Kimagure Prince: I think the first time I properly spoke to him was the recording for 'War Cry ~What's Wrong with Pretending to be an Idol!~' He was really famous on NicoNicoDouga, so of course I knew a bit about him already.

 Nozakibento: I was really nervous that first time.

 halyosy: Really??

 Nozakibento: Yes, because you were such an amazing person……

 Tomitake: 'were'?

 Nozakibento: Of course you still are now! *laughs*

 The new songs are a challenge from halyosy

 ·         Now that you've been working together for over 6 years, what is halyosy to MeseMoa.?

Tomitake: Ummm, a very close friend?

 Aoi: A papa?

 Kimagure Prince: A slightly older brother?

 Aoi: Eh, only 'slightly'……?

 halyosy: I always get teased like this *laughs*

 Tomitake: He takes it like a champion though. No matter how much we tease him, he accepts it without an issue.

 halyosy: Wahahahaha

 ·         What do you think about the appeal of halyosy's songs? Maybe there are parts that draw out your own abilities, or songs that resonate with you?

 Kimagure Prince: I get that a lot.

 Tomitake: halyosy's songs often include our own feelings or obstacles we're facing at the time in the lyrics, so we can always sense ourselves in the songs. There's quite a deep meaning.

 Nokkuso:  He also decides carefully who gets which part in the song. Like, he'll get someone to sing certain lyrics because it suits them as a person, or something.

 Shirofuku: In regards to overall quality, halyosy is really particular. I'm sure other songwriters can be fussy too, but he puts so much care into the most minor sounds or lyrics. That's why whenever we get to hear the demo songs, they're immediately recognisable as halyosy's songs.

 Tomitake: halyosy songs are very characteristic.

 halyosy: I'm glad to hear it. By the way, I'm always surprised to see which sounds the choreographers choose to pick up on. That's why I can't even be careless when it comes to the fine details.

 Tomitake: Like how sometimes they don't focus on the main sound, but the rhythm in the background?

 halyosy: Exactly that. I often watch the dance and think, 'Wow, they really chose to use that bit?'. Another difference between writing for MeseMoa. and for other artists is that when I'm reaching the final stages of production, I get sent a video of the members performing the choreography so I can check that there's no gap between the music and the video.

 MeseMoa.: Really?!

 halyosy: Say for example there's a part where the formation suddenly spreads out wide, then I know that the music for that section is important, so I can brush it up for the final piece. The production of the song progresses at the same time as the production of the performance.

 Nichan: I feel kind of overwhelmed. I didn't realise you went quite that far with the details for us.

 Tomitake: Also, every single song is really good! Each one is easily superior to the last.

 Nichan: What I personally think is characteristic of halyosy's songs is his frequent repetition of phrases. The songs are catchy and linger in your mind.

 Forgeru: I also sense from the songs that he's trying to get us to challenge new things. It's always exciting to receive a new song, and it really feels like we're taking a step forward.

 Kimagure Prince: It's like we're being tested, but in a good way.

 halyosy: I'm so happy to hear that. I don't often get the opportunity to hear their impressions on the songs in person like this.

 ·         Do you also feel like you're setting challenges for MeseMoa.?

 halyosy: I am. Every time I see them live, their skills have improved again and it makes me consider what I could try and work with for the next song. For a recent example, when I saw them singing, dancing and acting for a musical, the songs had really beautiful harmonies. I was surprised to hear a chorus that made such good use of their 9 voices, so I decided to create that effect myself, and that turned into songs like Aurora Kyokugidan and Pacific Tenboudai.

 Crossing Threads was born from wanting to make something dark

 ·         What side of MeseMoa.'s charm are you hoping to demonstrate through Crossing Threads?

 Nibansenji: This song especially was made because of how well halyosy understands us all. For example, because my voice is quite low and husky, he gave me parts that make best use of that. The dialogue at the beginning also came about because Oshoi (halyosy's nickname) said he wanted to hear a certain side to my voice.

 Tomitake: My parts were also really easy to sing. He made them all in the most comfortable register for me.

 halyosy: That's the 'I need them…' part, isn't it? I got them all to sing in their preferred register and then combined them to make harmonies.

 Forgeru: Because he's known us for so long, he has a perfect understanding of the breadth of our voices.

 Nozakibento: And also what makes each person unique

 Kimagure Prince: This is kind of a different story, but he often takes notes of the random things that we say during recording sessions. Even when it's a really pointless conversation, he stops us so he can write it down.

 ·         Do you use those kind of things in the lyrics?

 halyosy: I've done that, yes.

 Kimagure Prince: Also he does this kind of research by asking us about recent relationships within the group.

 Forgeru: Often I hear, 'Who have you been close with recently?' or 'Which member are you hanging out with the most?' *laughs*

 Tomitake: He's also thinking about the wishes of the fans *laughs*

 ·         What were your impressions of the new song?

 Nibanseji: To be honest, my first thought was that this was another difficult song. But also that if we could properly express what Oshoi had made for us, then we could show yet another new side to ourselves. Because of those thoughts I was able to work hard on this song.

 Tomitake: For me it was more like, 'Finally!!'

 Nibansenji: The first time I heard it I knew you'd love it.

 Tomitake: It's exactly my taste. I love it so much that I listened to the demo version over and over. I feel like our recent singles can be split into either really bright and cute songs, or really dark and miserable songs. I personally prefer the darker songs, so for me this was like the moment I'd been waiting for.

 ·         halyosy, where did the original concept for Crossing Threads come from?

 halyosy: (to Bunkei) It's finally your turn! Please go ahead.

 Bunkei: Then I'll tell you my side. I first got involved in the creation of MeseMoa.'s songs around the time of Muddy Water (released in August 2017). First a meeting is held with me, halyosy, and MeseMoa.'s producer. That's when the producer will announce what kind of thing they want to try next, but sometimes those ideas are concrete and sometimes they're just based on a general theme. This time they said they wanted to make something dark.

 Aoi: That's vague! *laughs*

 Bunkei: To start with we worked off the basis of a dark theme, and from there we discussed what kind of music we wanted to use, or what we wanted to express in the music video. Then a few months later halyosy returned with that 100 point-worthy song. It's amazing how he always makes something worth full marks.

 halyosy: This time we particularly wanted to emphasise the visualisation of the single, so I just did my best to make the most fitting BGM.

 The variety of MV interpretations is also enjoyed by the members

·         Could you tell us some secret episodes from the production of the music video?

Bunkei: Because halyosy always produces 100-point-worthy songs, I'm desperate to respond in kind. Since he played a lot with the music again, I felt like I had to figure out something similar for the MV…… But there just wasn't enough time to produce the video that Crossing Threads deserves. The lyrics are so deep that I honestly wanted to pack the video with as much as possible, so much so that a 2 hour movie would probably have been more suitable.

 halyosy: I'd love to see that.

 Tomitake: If halyosy's songs are involved then I'd love to watch a movie that just uses music as its motif. I think it could stand alone as its own work.

 Kimagure Prince: I'd like to try that one day. Back to this MV though, I think this is the darkest content we've included so far. It's been a while since we made something where we don't smile even once, and even when we weren’t filming everyone appeared kind of serious.

 Bunkei: There wasn't even anyone messing around really, was there?

 Tomitake: Even those of us who usually joke around were repressing ourselves *laughs*

 Bunkei: Perhaps the general mood of the song was also helped by the atmosphere of the location.

 Nozakibento: But for the dance scenes and the parts where we're moving around, everyone balanced it out. Personally I really like the interlude where Aoi, Pun-chan and Forgeru are dancing as a trio. Their dance styles usually differ, but this time they were beautifully in sync, so I really hope people can see it soon. It makes me want to shout Bravo!

 All: *laughter*

 ·         The main part of the MV sees Nibansenji in the central role. The drama scene where he clashes violently with Aoi left a huge impression.

 Aoi: I shouted so much during the filming of that. I wasn't actually supposed to, but I just naturally did it without realising.

 Nibansenji: His shouting shocked me so much that I found myself drawing back.

 Bunkei: That was kind of overwhelming *laughs*

 Nibansenji: The acting scenes this time were all really difficult. I felt like all the people involved in creating the song, the music video and the dance had slightly different interpretations. If I include my own thoughts, then there's 4 different interpretations to work with, so while acting I was worrying about which one I ought to rely on most. I'm sure there's no right answer, and Oshoi himself said that he likes it when multiple different perceptions come together, so in my mind I was just telling myself to do what I thought was best……but that was still difficult.

 ·         Does halyosy purposefully not tell you his interpretation of the song?

 halyosy: That's right. No matter which song, I never tell 100% of my interpretation. That applies to Bunkei as well. I'd like him to express the story so that it can be interpreted in many ways, so I deliberately try not to reveal the basis of my thoughts. There's also the sense that I'm writing the lyrics as the first step in the creative process, then comes Bunkei's video as the second step, and the enjoyment of the fans becomes the third step……I like the way it spreads.

 Tomitake: Have you seen the comments section on YouTube? The discussion around various theories is amazing. Lots of people are making connections with some of our previous songs and creating their own stories out of it. If I have even a little bit of spare time I like reading those theories *laughs*

 Bunkei: Ahahahaha. It's interesting to see how various songs are connected according to the fans. Like halyosy, I also hope that people will be able to watch the video and interpret it in their own way. Perhaps they're naturally connected simply because halyosy, the members and I are involved in each of them, and perhaps also because in the music videos so far I've often chosen the roles based on each member's character.

 Nibansenji: If each person who watches it can have fun by creating their own stories……then I'm fine with that.

 Tomitake: It's also fun for us to read about too! Sometimes people come up with incredibly interesting stories, so once I started reading I can't get to sleep!

 Bunkei: Some of the stories are so good that it makes me a little jealous *laughs*

 I'm definitely going to make the very best video for them!

 ·         Having all these people gathered together for an interview is a really valuable moment, so finally we'd like to ask MeseMoa.'s creative support halyosy and Bunkei for a message to the members.

 halyosy: The combination of my music and Bunkei's videos is of course designed to draw out MeseMoa.'s current abilities, but also contains the hope of getting more people to find out about them. I do feel a sense of pride that we're the ones who can draw out those different sides to the members, but don't you agree that the most important thing is to help people find them through the song and the MV? That's the starting point necessary to get people to come to their live performances. I'm constantly thinking about what kind of things we can attempt, so I hope people are looking forward to the next time. I hope I can level up my songs at the same pace as everyone's improvement in singing ability.

 Bunkei: I was originally uploading dance covers on NicoNicoDouga in the same world as the members, so to think that we would meet again and form this kind of relationship…you just never know what'll happen in life, but I'm really glad about it. I'm confident that I can understand everyone the best as a director, so I always think that I'm definitely going to make the very best video for them. Each time halyosy produces a different type of song, and each time the members tackle it and take themselves up a level, so rather than supporting them it feels more like I'm growing alongside them. Let's all get halyosy to nurture us together!

 MeseMoa.: Woo!! *applause*

 Kimagure Prince: (to halyosy) What do you think?

 halyosy: Leave it to me!!

 All: *laughs*

 halyosy: I say that, but I also want to keep everyone together until I've finally finished with all the ideas that I have in my mind.

 Kimagure Prince: I'm so happy right now, because I can really sense how much the two of them care about MeseMoa. We too must do our best so we can respond to those feelings.

 We're like major artists now

 ·         What are your thoughts on MeseMoa.'s future plans and enthusiasm?

 Shirofuku: Having completed our previous hall tour (T/N: You can read the report of the Pacifico Yokohama concert here in Japanese), I feel like we demonstrated our growth very quickly with this new single. This is mostly in reference to the dance and the vocal harmonies, but in this single we attempted some of the things that we'd challenged on the tour as well. First of all I would like people to really enjoy Crossing Threads, and after that our live house tour TIME TRAVEL.6 will begin in November. We're playing smaller venues that basically knock off an entire 0 from the capacity of Pacifico Yokohama, but I think that playfulness or spirit in general is very MeseMoa. so I'm happy with it. I hope this will be a tour where we can do the things we want to and continue to level up.

 Kimagure Prince: Because it's a live house tour, I'm looking forward to performing at a much closer distance to the audience. The tour's title is TIME TRAVEL.6, so we intend to perform songs that are so rare and nostalgic that they might seem like an illusion to some fans. I'd really like people to come and have fun with us.

 Nichan: On a personal note, I think we were able to sell out Pacifico Yokohama, our largest capacity venue so far, because of everybody's cooperation, so I'd like to visit various places in the country to say thank you.

 Kimagure Prince: There's also our plans for next year……

 halyosy and Bunkei: Wait, what?

 Kimagure Prince: I can't say anything publicly yet, so can I whisper it to you? *whispering*

 halyosy and Bunkei: Eh?!

 ·         I suppose that means the readers will have to guess based off those reactions.

 Kimagure Prince: That's right *laughs* Sorry.

 Aoi: We ourselves thought, 'Damn, we're like major artists now.' *laughs*

 Kimagure Prince: But also, we're going to have to work hard for this. We're gonna get fired up.

 Forgeru: Let's roll up our sleeves again and get cracking.

Nokkuso: Next year we'll all be working harder together, so for now please come and have fun with us on our live tour!

#interview #mesemoa #music natalie #translation #24.10.2019 #halyosy #kakihara bunkei #jpop #idol #musumen #crossing threads #magyaku no ito

[quiveringbunny]

You Can’t Afford Him (Olicity fanfic, rated M) - Chapter 2

Here is Chapter 2 of my fic. 

If you missed Chapter 1, you can read it here on Tumblr. 

If you prefer reading on Ao3, here are links to:

Chapter 1       Chapter 2

CHAPTER 2

“Archer, meet Celeste Chen, who has impeccable taste in shoes and her fellow, Myles Crofton.”

Without missing a beat, Myles piped up. “I’m told she also has impeccable taste in boyfriends.”

At the utterance of their target’s name, Oliver had tightened his grip around Felicity, just enough for her to notice. Then he offered his hand to the arm’s dealer with a perfect playboy grin.

“Good to meet you, Myles.”

Myles offered the universal head nod that could have meant yes or the feeling is mutual. As with so many wealthy people, much was left to be interpreted.

“Panda told us you’ve had some bother with your luggage.”

“That’s right,” Oliver sighed. “Can you believe it?” He tried to seem put upon without coming off a complete dick so early in their interaction. If these two didn’t like him, they might shut down the obvious opening that Felicity had created for them.

“And since our room isn’t ready,” Felicity added, leaning into Oliver’s sizable shoulder, “it seemed like the good idea to spread a little cryptocurrency around the shops, although I guess since it’s all virtual it doesn’t actually spread.”

Oliver held his breath. He loved Felicity’s rambles, but he didn’t know if they translated well in other cultures. His worries dissipated when Celeste chuckled and Myles cracked a smile. He watched the woman tug on her man’s sleeve and then give him a questioning look. Myles took note, shook his head, then wordlessly wandered away, raising his phone to his ear. Oliver was curious, but forced himself to remain partially attentive to the half of the couple that remained. Out of the corner of his eye, he watched Myles. On his first call, everything seemed fine. Then, it was as though he was talking to someone else because he looked agitated. He didn’t raise his voice so they could hear, but he was seething for a moment.

“Archer, I know this is Panda’s first visit to Macau. What about you?”

“I have a recollection of passing through once with my family, but it was decades ago. So much has changed since then. It’s incredible now. The architecture. The energy. The beautiful women,” he added pointedly. Felicity raised an eyebrow at him, at which he became very serious. “And by that I mean that Panda wasn’t here, so it was much less attractive then.”

The two of them studied each other for a moment, then Felicity playfully prodded Oliver’s ribs.

“Good recovery there,” Celeste volunteered.

“Yes,” Felicity smirked. “My hero.”

“Do you two have any dinner plans tonight? We would love for you to join us.”

Felicity looked up at Oliver, her eyes twinkling. They needed to play it cool, but she really wanted to pump her fist in the air at this moment.

“We don’t have plans tonight, do we Baby?” Felicity looked up at Oliver with a warm smile.

“I think we do now, PandaBear. That is very kind of you, Celeste,” Oliver offered the woman a genuine smile. “I hope I won’t be overdressed,” he added, looking down at his tuxedo.

“Nonsense,” Celeste replied. “It’s perfect.” She then directed her gaze to Felicity. "You have excellent taste, Panda."

Oliver felt Felicity’s hand slip between his shirt and his jacket and rest near his heart. He hoped she couldn’t feel it beating more violently than usual. What had gotten into her? The touching? Apparently Pandora Fleece was a lot more handsy than Felicity Smoak. He hadn’t even begun to process their earlier kiss. And what was that about Felicity having good taste? Before Oliver could question or protest, he was interrupted.

“That would be lovely,” Felicity responded to the other woman while softly running her fingers against Oliver’s expensive shirt-covered abs.

Just then, Myles returned and took the hand of his beautiful Celeste. He wasn’t the only one who could be affectionate. Of course, the Americans were always a little too obvious about it in public. Celeste studied his face for information.

“I have had a word with the desk. Just go see the concierge. He will be looking after you personally.”

Felicity and Oliver expressed enthusiasm for their host’s kindness.

“No problem,” Myles replied. “One of the benefits of owning the place.”

“Oh, wow.” Felicity feigned surprise. She could not let on how much they already knew about the man. They were, after all, just tourists.

“Thank you,” Oliver added, “that’s very kind.” He offered his hand again with a sincere smile. Myles took it.

“Don’t mention it.” Myles turned to Celeste. “Darling, I am now running late for a meeting and I’m told the art consultant is upstairs. I’m afraid we are going to have to try this shirt thing another day.”

“Of course,” Celeste sighed. “Panda, I’ll have dinner details sent to your room.”

“That’s wonderful, Celeste. We are looking forward to it.”

xoxoxo

Once they had settled the details with Javier regarding the final purchase, arrangements were made to have Archer’s clothing sent up to their room via the hotel concierge. Throughout the transaction, the two generally avoided eye contact. There was much to be said, much to explain, but it had to wait until they were in private.

The two proceeded to the concierge station near the front desk and were greeted enthusiastically by a middle-aged woman named Kim who had jet black hair with a shock of white on one side. She smiled warmly and apologized far too much for inconveniencing them. When she signaled for them to follow her away from the desk, they realized she was going to escort them to their room herself. The two exchanged curious looks as they proceeded up an elevator to the 25th floor. The woman finally led them down a gold and red-hued hallway to a very opulent door. She swiped a metal card and it unlocked with a decisive click.

It was a suite. Not a junior suite like at the Marriott with a fold out couch, a sad desk in the corner and a couple of bottles of water. It was a full-fledged apartment, suitable for hosting visiting dignitaries. If they were sultans. The space had a dark Arabian Nights kind of vibe. Felicity found herself gawping, legit gawping, as the woman provided the grand tour of the rooms and amenities. Huge sitting area with tall windows. Massive bedroom with gigantic bed. Check. Large sitting room with fainting couch off the bedroom. Crazy fancy bathroom with a huge soaking tub and a rain shower. Check. Second fancy bathroom. Check. Pillows. Pillows. Pillows. Everywhere. Flowers. A chilled bottle of wine placed in a cooler on a wet bar. It just became more ridiculous with every moment.

“Excuse me, Kim. This is truly amazing, but it definitely isn’t what I reserved.”

“Yes, Miss Fleece. Mr. Crofton would like you to stay in this suite. It is one he sets aside for his and Miss Celeste’s friends.”

“I am speechless,” spoke the young woman, who had eyeballed some of the finest accommodations in Las Vegas when she was young.

“Thank you,” Oliver volunteered, seeing the woman to the door. “This was a very generous gesture. We are so very grateful.”

The woman explained that she would have their purchases brought up when they were available and would call with details of their dinner plans. Oliver thanked the woman again and was grateful that tipping was not standard practice in Macau for this particular service, as he didn’t have any cash in his pocket.

Once the woman was gone, Oliver kept staring at the closed door, collecting his thoughts before he turned to see Felicity sitting tentatively on an opulent couch, her chin resting on her hands. He considered his next move carefully and then acted swiftly, as he always did.

Oliver moved across the carpet and sat right down next to Felicity, invading her personal space. His warm body and even hotter breath tickled her ear and she gasped. The look in his eye was curious, even to her, and she had seen all of his expressions - or so she thought. It was like he wanted her. But that couldn’t be right. Just as she became uncomfortable with his gaze and attempted to shift away, Oliver grabbed her arm and whispered into her ear.

“Can you sweep the rooms without anyone knowing?”

Felicity let out a relieved and in no small way disappointed sign and nodded. Soon, she was grabbing her phone from her bag and touring their digs again, chatting mindlessly about the decor and the amenities, all the while checking for listening devices and cameras. It was unlikely their space would be monitored, but Oliver was right. It was good to check. After her circuit, she ended up in front of her partner, who was standing at a bank of windows, looking out on the Macau harbor in the afternoon sun.

“It’s clean,” she announced, brightly.

“Good.” His voice was flat. Tired, perhaps. But there was more to it. “I’m going to rest.”

With that, Oliver walked into the bedroom, past the bed and into the sitting room. He disappeared behind a closed door, leaving Felicity alone and unsure of what had just happened.

xoxoxo

Felicity knew something was off with Oliver. He hadn’t said more than a few words to her after they left Dolce & Gabbana and then he seemed to want to ditch her the moment they got into their insanely beautiful suite after looking at her with expressions she couldn’t decipher. Now he was asleep. An afternoon nap also seemed uncharacteristic of Oliver, but they had been traveling for 24 hours and it wasn’t unreasonable to imagine he could be wiped out.

Not knowing what to do next, Felicity first jumped on her tablet and made the necessary changes to their backstory support on the web to accommodate a quick alteration in cover stories, just in case. She also did some snooping on Celeste and soon discovered she was a very sought-after debutante in Hong Kong before coupling up with Myles Crofton.

A knock at the door signaled the delivery of numerous bags from the dress shop and D&G. Felicity had the stewards litter the living area with them.

Eventually, the lure of the amazing soaking tub in the master bath became a distraction. Felicity  gathered up her purchases and took up residence in what amounted to a marble temple. She helped herself to some of the high-end bath products that were provided on the counter, slipped into the tub, and finally felt herself decompressing from the many sharp turns of the day. But every time her mind started to clear, her thoughts drifted to that kiss.

What had possessed her to do it? Was an epic lip-lock really necessary to sell their cover at that point? Or had she done it to mark her territory — as if Oliver Queen was hers? Felicity debated with herself about it for quite some time and then decided that, yes, the smooch had quickly and definitively established the credibility of their cover to the target of their mission and created greater potential for mission success since it led to an invitation to socially engage with said target.

Yep. That’s exactly what it did. The fact that Oliver’s lips felt so hot and strong against hers, while remaining curiously soft was irrelevant, as was the way he smelled — woodsy and masculine — even though he had been cooped up on a plane for a day. She could almost still feel it reverberating on her mouth. Imagine what an actual kiss with Oliver Queen might feel like, if a fake one had her knees buckling in a designer clothing store! She couldn’t bring herself to entertain that thought. Oliver wouldn’t kiss someone he could care about. She had to remember that.

Felicity also needed to remind herself that allowing her feelings to take over could be dangerous for her heart. And they were already surrounded by physical danger just being there in Hong Kong, thousands of miles away from home, trying to wheedle their way into the private business of a man who made an impressive fortune buying and selling devastating weapons. That man might have even procured Mirakuru and the potential to raise and army of nearly invincible killers.

This was simply no time to moon over her infuriating and attractive partner. There it was - the crux of her situation, clear as day. Lives could be at stake, Smoak. Pandora Fleece and Archer Middleton were just the masks they needed to wear to be heroes now.

After a solid soak, Felicity emerged from the water with a clearer head. She was back on mission now. Hyper-focused. Once she had finished fretting, she spent twenty solid minutes considering various scenarios that could transpire with Myles Crofton and devising ways to use them to gain access to his sensitive data. Ew. That sounded a little sexual. Her mind always found the worst ways to say something.

Her first task was to fix her hair. She couldn’t decide how she would wear it for the evening. Up? Down? Straight? Curly. Being a lady uncover was not easy. She stared at herself in the mirror and grimaced.

Felicity distracted herself from the dilemma by rooting through the luxuriously-packed boutique bags and pulling out items she had sourced hours before. This included a flat box. Inside, there were three pairs of red satin panties nestled inside cream-colored tissue paper. Three. Huh. She had asked for just two pairs, but maybe Margot was feeling generous.

At first she snorted at them. Silly scraps of fabric. But then she reconsidered. Maybe they would be good luck. She could definitely use some if they were going to be successful on their mission. Who was she to turn down potential good fortune?

Relenting, she soon discovered she had underestimated them. Those ridiculous panties. How they would make her feel when she slipped them on. But the satin was perfect and rubbed deliciously against her skin. Looking at herself in the mirror…admiring herself…Felicity felt sexy and powerful. She didn’t know she needed this. God bless Margot.  

Still not sure what to do with her hair, she decided to do her makeup next. But she would need to retrieve her purse from the living area sofa first. She enveloped herself in a plush white terry robe emblazoned with the logo of the hotel and emerged into the master bedroom.

Her breath was stolen when she found Oliver sitting on the edge of the bed, facing the bathroom door. He was wearing his tuxedo, but was currently foregoing the jacket.  His tie was missing and his top shirt buttons open. His posture was deflated until he saw her and sat up straight. He didn’t speak. He just looked at her, carefully, studying her while Felicity tightened the belt on her robe and attempted to settle her breathing.

Neither of them spoke for the longest time. Felicity was waiting for Oliver to say something, perhaps to reveal what seemed to have him out of sorts earlier. Meanwhile, the Arrow’s face reflected a heavy storm, one that he couldn’t find the words to express.

“I…I just needed my purse,” she finally stammered, gesturing toward the main room. Suddenly, she was moving, scooting out to collect her bag.

Oliver’s eyes followed her as she rushed out of the room and snagged her purse from the coffee table. She returned wordlessly, steering herself back toward the bathroom. This felt beyond awkward.

“I was going to ask your opinion about how to wear my hair but since you don’t seem to be speaking to me…” she muttered, her back to him as she headed to the door. Then she heard his voice rumble, quiet and deep.

“Down.” He cleared his throat. “Your hair looks nice just like that.”

Felicity stopped and turned around.

“Okay,” she whispered.

Their staring contest reconvened. Oliver was winning like Secretariat.

xoxoxo

Oliver had woken up from a short, but deep nap in the late afternoon and then brooded in a sitting room for at least an hour. Maybe two. Every that had happened earlier in the day with Felicity in the boutique played over and over in his head. He still hadn’t talked to her about the events that led to an apparent role reversal in their cover stories.

How had she connected with Myles Crofton so quickly and made such an impression that they were already invited to dine with him and his girlfriend? The obvious answer was…it was Felicity. She was remarkable, after all. He should have known better by now to even wonder. But he was still curious.

And then there was the damn kiss. She completely surprised him with that move. He knew it was probably necessary to establish some kind of relationship with Crofton and Celeste, but it was unexpected and unsettling. He really needed to talk to her.

He opened the door to the bedroom and realized she was using the bathroom. Rather than interrupt her, he wandered out into the living area and found the bags containing the purchases from Dolce & Gabbana. He took them to the extra bathroom before indulging in a relaxing shower.

After getting cleaned up, Oliver began digging through the bags. The shop had been aware of his luggage predicament and added a number of items he might need. There was a sample of aftershave and even a simple pair of pajamas. He didn’t wear pajamas, but maybe he should start. It appeared that the hotel had also chipped in some extra toiletries so he could trim his beard.

Oliver finished dressing, except for his jacket and tie, and wandered around the main room of the suite. Okay, he was pacing, considering what he wanted to say to Felicity and whether or not he could actually express himself, even if he got his shit together, as well as worrying that any kind of conversation now might be counterproductive to the mission. A dangerous mission.  Eventually, he ended up sitting in the bedroom directly across from the bathroom door, slumping a little in his designer clothes. It occurred to him that if Thea could see him, she’d give him all kinds of shit for wrinkling the Dolce.

It’s funny when you are waiting for something to happen and then when it does, you are still surprised. That’s how Oliver felt when the bathroom door swung open and Felicity emerged, barefoot and enveloped in a hotel robe. Suddenly, the situation, the job, felt so intimate. This was Felicity like she might be at home in the morning getting ready for work or dressing for a date with someone who wasn’t him.

And he had no words. Everything he had been going over in his head earlier seemed pointless and petty. All she had to do was stand there and look at him. Like that. He could tell when she blanched that he was probably making her uncomfortable with his silence. He knew that Felicity hated pregnant pauses. It was like her brain wanted to switch on and begin ruminating on a problem or a piece of code, but it couldn’t because there might be some pending exchange.

Felicity appeared to wait a moment, then she rushed into the other room. Something about her purse. Oliver took a steadying breath, no longer under scrutiny. Get it together Queen.

When Felicity came back into the room, she didn’t engage with him at all, but rather headed for the bathroom.

“I was going to ask your opinion about how to wear my hair but since you don’t seem to be speaking to me…” she said quietly.

Something in him cracked at that comment. It wasn’t that he wasn’t speaking to her. He simply didn’t know what…how to say anything when she was right there, shimmering like a terrycloth mirage.

She sounded offended. Say something, Queen. She never asked him how he liked her hair before and in all honesty, he liked it however she wore it. Wait? Did she say something about him not speaking to her?

“Down.” He choked out. “Your hair looks nice just like that.”

Felicity stopped moving forward. She pivoted and looked right into his eyes, surprised.  

“Okay,” she whispered, tilting her head.  

A force — Oliver really had no idea what it was, or he didn’t want to name it — pulled him up off the bed and drew him toward her at the doorway like a magnet. And now she was looking up at him, her blue eyes blazing with curiosity.

“Why did you think…I wasn’t…I didn’t know. I didn’t know what to say,” he exhaled, towering over her, but still seeming soft and sincere.

“Usually I’m the babbler, Oliver. That’s my thing. You wear the leather and put the fear of God in people.”

Felicity followed up her statement with a sweet smile, trying to defuse what had quickly become a tense moment. Oliver let out a breathy chuckle and looked at the ceiling to gather himself.

“I do that, don’t I?”

“You do, although if I’m being honest, I prefer you doing the former to the latter because leather is, you know,” she grinned, “hot and fear of God gets kind of arrowy and there’s blood. Not that it’s your blood. I mean, actually, usually it’s somebody else’s but it’s still gross and gets all over the leather, which is good.”

Oliver was shaking his head now. God, she was adorable.

“And I’m babbling again. Oliver you have to stop me when…”

“Felicity,” he spoke sharply. Then he grasped her arms at her elbows, holding her still. He had her attention now. “Earlier, you kissed me.”

Felicity’s eyes slammed shut for a moment. She couldn’t run, but she was definitely thinking about it. “I know. I’m sorry I couldn’t explain what was happening, but when I met Celeste we talked about cryptocurrency and it was a crazy coincidence that her boyfriend was involved in it and she wanted me to meet him and then there he was…freaking Myles Crofton himself and it felt like an unexpected opportunity and I should run with it.”

When her eyes opened, he was studying her face, looking at her with unexpected warmth.

“Felicity, look at me.” Oliver left hand disengaged from her arm and he gently placed his palm against her cheek. Felicity’s eye’s fluttered open.

“When we were at the house and I needed to get Slade,” Oliver said with a quiet, deliberate tone, “I said something to you…”

“It was just for the mission,” she volunteered, trying to button down her expression, which likely still reflected disappointment. “You gave me the syringe.”

Oliver shook his head and he sighed.

“It’s alright, Oliver. We have to say things sometimes that we don’t mean.”

“The natural thing for me to do to really sell the plan to Slade would have been to kiss you.”

Felicity avoided his glance as heat rose on her face. He was still cupping her jaw against his hand and she was enjoying that feeling. It was tender. Sweet.

“But I didn’t want to do that,” he continued. Felicity turned her eyes up to meet his. If he was going to deliver bad news, they should just get it over with so she could go back in the bathroom and fall apart alone.

“Felicity, I’ve kissed a lot of girls. You could wallpaper a room with pictures from the tabloids of me doing thoughtless things and making an exhibitionist ass out of myself back before the island. But I’m different now. I didn’t want the first time I kissed you to be a ruse. I wanted it to be perfect and, just…I thought if it was ever going to happen, I wanted it to be real and I didn’t want to share that moment with anyone but you.”

His beautiful partner’s eyes grew wider as she processed what he was saying.

“Oh. Oh, you wanted to…” her expression morphed from surprise to devastation. “Oh God. Did I ruin it? I did, didn’t I? I shouldn’t have…”

Her voice trailed and room became silent except for the hum of the air conditioning system.

Oliver watched Felicity’s eyes started to fill with moisture. His pulse rose with concern. The last thing he wanted to do was upset her. He leaned down and his eyes shined at her in a way he had never allowed in the past.

“No,” he rasped. “It was just practice. For this.”

Then he wrapped one arm around her shoulder and the other circled her waist, rubbing against the soft terrycloth belt of her robe. He tugged her closer and lowered his mouth to hers, seeking her lips with the lightest of touches.

When he felt her her body press against his, the anxiety in him relaxed a little. Then she tilted her head to find the perfect angle to answer his kiss and his heart surged beneath his crisp, linen shirt. Time slowed and Felicity’s purse met the ground with a dull, quiet, thud.

Oliver was barely aware that he was moving them, stepping back to the bed, lifting her and draping her across his lap as he sat down. He memorized everything from the exotic perfume of the soap she wore to the whimper she made when he reluctantly pulled away and rested his nose against the soft pink shell of her ear.

“Wow,” she gasped, followed by a “meep” noise signaling she had meant to keep that comment internal. Soon, Oliver’s body was shaking with a laugh he tried to stifle by pulling her closer.

“Yes, wow,” he added, honestly, and also to assure she didn’t feel alone in expressing appreciation because it was the best first kiss he’d ever had. It was the last first kiss he ever wanted. But he kept that to himself for now.

Now, they had a serious mission. As much as he wanted to set that aside and focus on the woman in his arms, he knew that. Oliver took a step back but continued to hold her.

“Oliver.”

“We should probably try to focus on tonight now. This dinner with Crofton. The sooner we get it done, the sooner we can talk about this and lots of other things.”

Felicity studied his face and the way the corners of his mouth were turning up. He was right. She gave him a definitive nod.

“Why don’t you go in there and finish getting ready?” he added.

“Okay,” she sighed and ambled to stand.

“Then you can tell me about our new covers, although I gather you are the lead on this now and I’m the boyfriend.”

Felicity headed toward the bathroom, picking up her handbag along the way. She stopped when she got to the doorway and bit her lip. If she wasn’t still flushed from the kiss, he might have noticed her sheepish look.

“Oliver…”

“You did the right thing. I’m not thrilled that you are more involved than we planned, but you made the right call. And we’re partners. Sometimes that means that you’ll be the one out in front and I have to make peace with that. I’ll still worry, but you are remarkable. No matter what happens, I never forget that.”

“Partners.” Felicity smiled at him, warmth and pride filling her. “Thank you.”

Oliver beamed back at her and leaned back on the bed, supported by his elbows.

Just as she was about to close the door, she peeked out. “I’ll wear my hair like this.”

Good, he mouthed to her.

“And it’s possible Celeste is under the impression that you are my boy toy.” She quickly shut the door, leaving Oliver to process her words and their ramifications.

“Felicity,” he groaned, then flopped against the bed.  

#Olicity #fanfiction #romance #latersexytimes

[lovehaswonangelnumbers]

New Post has been published on https://lovehaswonangelnumbers.org/november-2019-energy-report/

November 2019 Energy Report

November 2019 Energy Report

By A Gift From Gaia

Translating the recent codes we have been receiving has given a super expansive view of how the month of November and the following months are going to unfold and to say we are about to receive more light than ever before would on the one hand be obvious, we are of course evolving which means we exist within an ever increasing spiral of love, but on the other hand I am aware there will be many hitting the WOW frequencies, how that wow transpires of course is dependent on your current octave and what mirrors are required to be seen, I love witnessing the wow spectrum, the low octaves are a “wow, are you serious” as freak twists and turns appear and then there are those who experience the wow frequency in the higher octaves as they begin to see what they perceive as more aligned experiences coming forward, and once the wow spectrum has been spent we move into the “ah yes” space where there is zero reaction as we flow in a peaceful joyous frequency and we respond, through choice.

I spent many years of the awakening in the WOW spectrum and would always jump in, led by dreams and what I believed to be guidance however I realise now it was resonance to my true frequency, the core frequency, the frequency that hides behind ALL and anchors the beliefs and programming firmly in, which is always different to the frequency we THINK ourselves in, but this vast spectrum and the many years spent here has taught a lot, it shares the keys to attachments and it shares the keys to understanding the language of the body and for this half life experience we are so grateful as the realisation and release creates an expansion in our field, an expansion I am to share within the SOUL-AR Alignment Course as the Key is about to be birthed.

Birthing is something we can expect to be experiencing this month, galactic light babies are ready, the contractions have started and many of you who have been focused on the light path may well be experiencing nesting, bloating and contractions, this is entirely normal, check in with the physical and see if there is any language coming up in the discomfort, in other words does it relate to the reality or the programming you are identifying/validating/releasing. When we have these experiences there is a vital key, unconscious thinking will get disgruntled with the uncomfortableness, the conscious being will take the self love to a deeper level and provide the perfect space and environment for the birth/release, this process is the same when we move through the clearing phases, there must be no defense and no judgement of the symbolic messages the body shows/speaks, we also stop using words of suffering and sickness and we fully align to releases, purges, or perhaps its new conversation as you learn to understand, pay attention and action the requests of the body.

With the ever increasing light this month we often experience heaviness and restriction which is often perceived as pain, especially in those, like myself, who continue to do when I know I need to be, even when we reach peaceful, restful, attentive states of awareness there is still more to learn, more fine tuning and you may notice the stress points getting busy, jaw, head, neck, shoulders and stomach act like big batteries that store the tension, and the tension as I said will only be your resistance to the light speed, that’s the thing, as everything speeds up we must learn to slow down the physical, even though the energy will be coursing through, ok so slow down isn’t the right words here, although it is, I feel soften is a better way to describe the surf.

That’s the thing, November is going to be a mixed bag, enough to get many more waking up to how this actually works and seeking out lighthouses with the brightest lights and the safest passage and the first couple of weeks are likely to be the most transformational as we are surfing through the new moon opposing Uranus energies and adding to this all changing energy we now move into a Mars square Pluto stream, which acts like the rubber stamp…..ENTRY – NO ENTRY.

But of course there is always entry, there are the new energy portals we can enter and then there are the looping ones that always look different until you learn to see the patterns and programming, until you are able to own the true frequency, knowing that what will be attracted will be the mirror until the patterns are learned and even with these phases many say well I must need to mirror to attract the mirror and the answer to that is, no, that too is self sacrificing and holds no point, you see once you are aware of the programming and once you understand what is a conscious choice and what is an unconscious choice, where you are being led into peace, joy and a carefree space or where you are exploding in excitement, need, want, and holding the “if I do this” expectation malarkey, then the need for mirrors becomes an unconscious choice, and whilst this may sound complicated its actually so very simple, the first sacred field you enter is that of peace, utter peace, and nothing but peace…..find it.

Patience is something that is becoming topical, patience is a virtue they say, many people pride themselves on being patient but this word needs a little more investigation because patience can also be attachment and expectation, it can also be linked in with enabling and avoidance. Patience with self, that’s a given, however there is often a root into the ego and self avoidance or enabling, slowing the process down unnecessarily highlights the fear of change, the key here is to keep the flow, we are under heavy Capricorn energies, powered by Saturn, our Lord of Time, and he teaches FLOW, his highest octave is Divine Time and he requests we keep this show on the road, nice and steady, progression, and as I keep saying THINK GOAT, tiny goat steps up this steep mountain face we are climbing. Patience out there, well that needs some looking at, lets not forget to wait is to weight and to try again is to lie again and all of this will be felt as the light speed increases, some request to experience Life Force at full speed, I certainly did as the resistance I held to love was huge, of course I was unaware, like most I had been programmed to experience attachment as love and it was a seed grown from lack, it’s a story we all hold and it’s the story we are all erasing, some wake up and complete the process in this lifetime and all else continues the loop until it awakens or is purged by the planet itself, but that’s a whole different conversation.

The Pluto and Mars square will have the wise ready and prepared to release or scrap the old, this could well be a going back to the drawing board energy especially with Mercury in Retrograde however if this is the wave you surf hold these words within, with every wave there is a ripple, a crest and then the most beautiful part when it returns back to the All, meaning there is a process and the quicker this is realised the sooner the reality will provide its reward, let it go, let it transform and watch what comes next, and with these energies intensifying it could well appear as shocking, highlighting the attachment through the high emotional reaction, the moment it enters allow it to dissolve, hold trust, stay patient with self and experience the emotional release and all the data it holds and watch how it evolves into something so much more purposeful, if this materialises as the deprogramming of attachment you may be thinking and feeling some incredible depths but hold the trust, bliss exists in detachment, peace resides in the fields of acceptance and love will grow widely when you ensure the soil is PH Aligned.

If we take the focus that the first half of November will be much adjusting, allowing, accepting, learning to adapt to the frequencies at super fast rates, then the galactic babies we are about to birth by mid to end of the month are going to be big, bouncy and incredibly healthy and this is the magic within this month, in fact I would highly suggest we move the holiday season to the last two weeks of November, take note of this because come December 25th and the eclipses you will no doubt be surfing the WOW spectrum I mentioned earlier, there is going to be so much coming up, attachments, expectations, HUGE insights to prepare for the Tsunami Surf Event of 2020.

This month requires the focus, requires the understanding of how this is all working and fully aligning.

The codes from our Galactic Future Self are entering through the portal that Jupiter is now opening, we begin this year as he passes the galactic centre according to tropical astrology and we receive the highest of octaves next year as he then travels through the constellation of Sagittarius according to Sidereal astrology. As Sagittarius is his home sign this makes this a super happy galactic return to Jupiter, the planet of reward, luck, expansion and he propels from within us the opportunity to spread our wings further and wider, he is the planet of MORE and again there are of course octaves, so perhaps make the use of the time and be more proactive otherwise we could perhaps see the spread appear more like a midriff muffin, laziness is a lower octave mirror.

Asides from the fun, this is again important work, and this requires focus, as I mentioned in a recent report Mercury in Retrograde is playing around in the field next door, he is going to be shouting some controversial comments over the hedge, things that are likely to bring in some self doubt, a pull back to the old ways, letting dreams slip by for another trip on the loop, but if you look closely you are going to see his tongue in cheek. The Galactic Codes are being channelled through our inner Jupiter, then Venus activates in a conjunction, this is pure Divine Galactic Love, this is creation energy, this is your green light to go and Mercury will support you, you will find, hear, receive the inner communication, your inner Mercury will begin to show what it is like to truly align to that inner voice and we are opened wide, more wide than before and we create the next level to the NewBuild we have been working on.

This month is set to be a wonderful transition and the guidance is to embrace everything that comes into your field, the incoming galactic energies hold purpose and to not hold the respect for this would be pure ignorance to the Ancient Future Self, the Unified version of you, being me, being Us as One. Take Self into the most softest spaces, allow the sensitivity to heighten and pay attention to the touch, taste, smell, sight and sound and notice how it feels, peace is the path, excitement or nervousness is the mirror, connect with the body and listen clearly to its needs and wants and realise where it is addicted to out there and return to those spaces and fill it with your loving energy, finding new ways to support those neglected areas and allowing the attachments to dissolve. Jupiter will bring forward a huge influx of light and we now prepare using the transformative energies of Pluto that begin this month, the physical body vibration must be priority and for every release mentally there too must be a physical upgrade which will require underpinning until the new has stabilised, this pattern of expansion takes effort at first but because the codes are that of unconditional love, unconditional doing for self, they stabilise quickly and become the new version or experience, understanding and aligning to how this works is necessary to stop the learning how this works which is a looping effect, why learn something that is already in the awareness, it holds no purpose.

I will connect in with you all as we shift and expand, and this month will hold some super cool tools for me to share with you all. Stay tunes for Big News!

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[dangerliesbeforeyou]

dan made me do it

(lol jk, but like i have Feelings(tm) about my sexuality and everything & figure this is the best time and place to do it...)

So I figured out I was bisexual a little over 5 years ago, after discovering it was a legitimate thing I could call myself whilst being on tumblr (2014 was a big time for lgbt discourse, especially in terms of the various terms and labels, most of which I hadn’t been familiar with...)... but tbh, I’d been trying to come to terms with who I was in terms of my sexuality for a long time

I grew up in a religious house (my parents were jehovah’s witnesses), but I never really remember anything vaguely homophobic being thrown around? And even if it did exist, I wouldn’t have been aware of it since I never had any question or doubt in my mind about the fact I was attracted to boys (I’d had a rly intense crush on this one boy for about 5 years through primary and secondary school... I still sometimes see his pics on facebook & u know what? I still would lol anyway...) my early days in school were mostly taken up by trying to get friends not be a total recluse (I’ve always had trouble making friends and connecting to people it’s no biggie it’ ss fineee........ ok carry on>>)

So going into secondary school I never felt that I was anything other than straight? But one thing I vividly remember was the way people in my year treated girls that were suspected to be gay... in short? they were seen as ‘dirty’... it was something perverted, and highly sexualised... (as in: being a lesbian meant masturbating a lot... (i mean: this says something about wider misogyny & demonising of female pleasure but like.. another time, another time) & also making out loads with other girls)...  like no one ever came up and said ‘being gay is wrong’, but whenever rumours spread about a girl being suspected as gay and they didn’t deny them, people would suddenly start whispering about them... & it’s super strange to me that this was the same culture that if two female friends were really close and got labelled as gay, but came out and were like ‘oh no we’re straight ha ha we just kiss at parties and touch each others boobs’ or whatever, people would be completely ok with it?

So I never really gave myself the opportunity to go into this... I was never comfortable enough to be super ‘close’ to any of my female friends (intimacy issues: we don’t have to to get into all THAT right now though lol ahahaha....ha...) & I knew I wasn’t so called ‘skanky’ like all the girls who were labelled as being actually gay...

& this was all happening as I found myself actually being interested in looking at girls... (like what can I say? boobs are friggin nice to look at lol...) But i always saw it as innocent intrigue, since I was only 11/12 at the time so hadn’t grown into my own at the time... and the fact I felt more comfortable being touched by or talking to or like literally doing anything with girls? it’s just cos boys are gross there’s no other reason behind it!!.... right?

I think a big thing is that a lot of girls are so open with each other... like they’ll compliment each other’s boobs or asses, or comment on how pretty they are or their makeup skills or whatever.. you’ll be hard pressed to find a girl that goes all ‘no homo’ on her friend except.... I feel like that was me lol? I remember getting compliments from other girls about my appearance (didn’t happen often though pffft) or anything really and feeling all mushy inside, and giving the compliments back felt like a big deal to me? idk I suppose all the warning signs were there that hidden under layers of introverted awkwardness was a lil bi demon just waiting to come out lol!

So yadyyada, 2014 happens and I finally realise I’m bi... I just remember reading something on here about bisexuality and being like ‘oh damn yeh... dat me??’... like it felt amazing to be able to finally accept that I actually like girls too?? & one of the first people I told was this guy I became friends with when I first went to college... & he told me he was also bi and I remember thinking ‘wow!!!!! so it’s actually real?! it’s not just something you see on tumblr from random strangers, it’s an actual thing people I know irl experience wowwowowow’... I also came out to another online friend who I was close to, and it felt really amazing... but I could never translate that into actually coming out in real life (not to mention life was kinda shit at this time and I had like 0 friends but hEY, that’s not for now kiddos lol)...

So yeh, I’ve never actually come out to anyone... not properly anyway... I’ve always been very open about my sexuality online, but in real life I’ve never really discussed it with ... anyone? & it’s not because I’m ashamed in anyway, and it’s not even as if I’m that scared I just... I’ve never felt the need to? But after seeing Dan’s video, plus it’s something I’ve been thinking about a lot recently, this is something I really wanna do... see; I was so ready to live life just being ‘straight until I maybe get a girlfriend one day’, so ready to only tell people if they ask me but I just realised... isn’t that partly living a lie? who I’m with doesn’t change my sexuality, so why is it something I’m seemingly so scared of declaring to the world??

I vividly have this memory, before I realised I was bi, and I have no idea of why or when or any of the details, but me and my mum were watching something, and bisexuality was mentioned, and either my mum agreed with, or she said something along the lines of ‘bisexuals are more likely to cheat’, and that’s really stuck with me.... it’s something that’s always nagging in the back of my mind, and it... really fucking hurts lol... I know for a fact my mum will love my regardless of who I end up sleeping with or whatever, she may be pretty conservative in her mindset of things but she’s always willing to be open minded which I really love about her... but knowing this inbuilt stereotype of bisexuality is something she both acknowledges and somewhat agrees with is really... sad...

I’m 21 years old, I’ve been in one relationship in my life which only last a few months and involved no kissing and only occasional hand holding because I was too terrified to do any more (again: subject for aNOTHER day lol), and I know for a goddamn FACT that my sexuality would never make me more likely to be unfaithful to someone I claim to love...I really hate that this is associated with the label, but it’s something I know that I am...  why on earth would I change that or try to be something else when I know that /this/ is me!

I think one of the biggest things putting me off ‘coming out’ is having to explain yourself... like dan howell made a 45 minute long video discussing his own sexuality and experiences cos he knew people wouldn’t just accept it if he just tweeted ‘yo dawgs imma queer lol #swag’ one day, and it feels kinda annoying that queer people/lgbtq+ people feel like we can’t just...... be ourselves without having to justify or explain it?! (even me making this post is solidifying that factor lol... it’s a mess lol)... like I just wanna live my life being bi, is that so much to ask for lol?

I am so so SO grateful we have so much more bi, and lgbtq+ in general, representation in media these days.... it’s goddamn beautiful to see our stories, and the stories of our community being told and cherished by millions, and that’s really gotta be something to rejoice in this pride month!!!

(side note: dan also talks about gender identity & I have literally never related to anything more lol... like 90% of the time I don’t feel like what people classify as ‘womanly’ things... but also I am a woman? idk man lol just call me a formless blob or whatever it was he said lol as a baby no one really knew if I was a girl or boy since my mum mainly dressed me in yellow & I had like 2 strands of hairs on my head lol... damn I miss those days lol)

In conclusion (or tl;dr as I’ve seen the Cool people write on their long posts (yes I had to google what it meant shhhh)):

Hi, my name is Xanthe, my username is ‘dangerliesbeforeyou’ here on tumblr because I made it 7 years ago and I wanted to use a cool sounding harry potter quote so I could come across as sophisticated but also nerdy, I’m a 21 year old female (mostly?) and I am a proud Bisexual...

I’m also single and very ready to mingle if anyone is interested ;;;;;;;;;)

(that’s only half a joke lol... plz romance me I’m v lonely)

#personal #lgbtq #pride month #idk what to tag lol #thank u for giving me the confidence to do this daniel lol... #maybe i'll b able to come out to my family who knowsss

[pkmnjesus]

Appmon quick FINAL thoughts

Wow! What a 7 months that was...I know I could have finished this series waayy sooner (especially if my blog wouldn’t have taken a break in July-August), but I had a life and future to worry about outside this tumblr bubble and in the end I’m glad I was able to find time to watch this series whenever I wanted to relax. Overall I really thought Appmon was good! I never really found a problem wit the episode pacing for important plot points, and I didn’t really find the beginning to be that boring really. At least it was better than Xros Wars’s first arc in my opinion. I can understand why maybe some people didn’t get into this because of maybe the humor it presented, or how much “filler” plot it had in certain episodes. I didn’t really see any episode to be filler (well maybe except the clip show in episode 26) because each episode at least addressed the main plot and how they could get one step closer to Leviathan. The series definitely wasn’t perfect, and I wished they would have used more of Appmon they gained throughout the series. At least with Xros Wars, you saw multiple appearances from many of Taiki’s Digimon that he had in his Xros Loader. At the same time, it really took me a while to understand how evolution worked and why the super grade needed to have a link most of the time. I just went with the flow and enjoyed what was shown to me on the screen lol.

I also have a few picky questions that really isn’t that significant but left me wondering...was Dantemon ever freed from being stone? Poor fella. Did L-Corp really just dissolve like that? No repercussions from its employees like Yuujin’s “mom”. And speaking of Yuujin...was that final scene confirm him to be alive again? If so, then I don’t get it lol...but I think it seemed to be like a dream or a fantasy from Haru? And Knight Unryuji man...I was a bit disappointed they didn’t bring him back for the final arc besides that short cameo in the end. His character had so much potential from what I was saw in him

Anyway with my minor complaints being out of the way, I pretty much love everything what Appmon was about. The theme of artificial intelligence taking over our world is interesting itself, and by using modern smartphone applications to this story presents a good example of how we today really so much on our phone and the internet to do everyday tasks and even in relaxing outside school or work. Honestly you don’t even have to be a Digimon fan to get into this series, because Appmon can stand alone on its own for being that unique. Sure it has some Digimon references (like the buddy partnership), but if you compare this to previous installments from the franchise it really gives off a different vibe from the characters and humor alone. Any sci-fi enthusiast would love a concept like this, and could easily get into this series.

I pretty much loved everyone from the main cast! Unlike other Digimon series where it actually took me a while to get in to the characters, I was intrigued with each one from the start (excluding Yuujin since I thought he was a side character in the first half of the series). From Haru’s adorkableness to help others (probably the most kind-hearted goggle protag out there), Eri’s badassery with a spice of elderly respect, and Astra’s eccentric attitude filming himself doing funny things while trying to follow in his family’s footsteps. BUT REI OH MY GAWD, he’s probably my favorite character! Episode 42 has to be my favorite episode from the series hands down. From being this punk hacker kid that drinks jelly juice we get to see a caring brother who wants nothing but to be cook good food for him...that drinks jelly juice too lol. And of course the best character of them all in everyone’s book the NOOOOOOOOOOOO guy. Probably one of the funniest gags I’ve seen in a series in quite a while. Pokémon typically does this stuff, but I’m happy to see Toei trying to format that with this goofy character. Too bad we never knew his name :(

For the Appmon, everyone was great! At times I did find Dokamon a bit annoying, but in a funny way xD He always made me laugh trying to get Eri’s attention. Offmon has to be my hands down favorite...I mean who doesn’t like Offmon?! JUST LOOK AT IT :3 Too damn adorable for this show.

I also really do wanna try and play the 3DS game too...then I realized it was only realized in Japan and I would probably need a 3DS emulator to get like an English translation -_- Oh well...maybe one day. But by looking at the cover art from the game, all I recognize is Haru, Gatchmon, and Offmon and I’m like WHO ARE YOU ALL YOU PEOPLE???? Probably the game’s AU xD

Anyway I don’t want to ramble too much about this and make this post long as it already is, but man what series that was...a highlight of 2018 for sure! And even though I am done with this series, that doesn’t mean that I can’t bring it up on my blog from time to time 👀I CAN FINALLY REBLOG STUFF FROM THE TAG NOW YESSSS (and I already saw similar posts of mine that were already GIFed and I wasn’t aware of it lol...was expected). To my new followers that I gained from this series (or old ones that liked Appmon too), please feel free to ask me questions or send me messages if you’d like to chat about it since I won’t be talking about it that much anymore moving forward after today. I don’t want to mention names, but I’m sure some of you are aware of a certain user that isn’t too fond of Appmon based on the reblogs on some of my posts. To each their own opinions, but please if you want to be critical and do nothing but hate, bash, and pull up ignorant arguments, don’t even bother getting a serious conversation with me lol....just putting it out there :^) I don’t hate anyone here, but I will ignore the ignorance, and hey you should too!

I know that a few Digimon Elitists and certain other folks feel a bit indifferent with Appmon (and some just judging a book by its cover), but you shouldn’t let that get to what you enjoy! This same goes for the Pokémon fandom as well, so I know the feeling. I personally will be an ambassador for Appmon to help spread to others (especially Digimon fans who don’t even know of this yet) when I get the chance to talk about it. I think I’ll start with my friend from college who watched Adventure to Frontier only...let’s see how he likes it xD

Again, I want to thank the Appmon fandom for all their kind words especially to @latiwings who always chats with me after each episode. It’s amazing how you can make friends by watching something! There are countless others too I want to mention, but it could be a long list lol...YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE <3 I am also grateful to have some of my posts being reblogged by @digi-egg who (if some of you didn’t know) is probably the biggest Digimon blog on the tumblr fandom. Basically the equivalent to @shelgon in the Pokémon tumblr side of things. Finally I want to thank Digimon Universe: Appli Monsters, for teaching me how to be a protagonist in my own life. I needed something like this because of the struggles I had to overcome this year. Haru and Gatchmon, thank you for my spiritual buddies! We all need a Yuujin in our lives.

#P J's thoughts #Digimon Universe: Appli Monsters #Appmon #what a ride #and with that I bid this series a farewell <3 On to the next series whenever that is!

[latinalesbi]

IMDb says that Hayden is going to be in all 13 episodes of the spinoff

IMDB also said Noah was in it. IMDB can be wrong about those things.

Anonymous said:                                                                      A show about two lesbian moms raising a family… how did we get here now? A wonderful show reduced to mediocrity in the form of yet another genetic twenty smthg spinoff. Congrats Bradley, Peter and Joanna, you’ve done a wonderful job spreading the message. Middle aged women need not apply.

And you better not complain because you should be grateful  for what you got. Then according to Joanna, you better get on your knees, receive every bit of crap spewing from the producers and swallow it. IF YOU DO, then maybe if you beg a lot and lick their asses, you can get a family special. Oh that mama spin off shit we fed you fools, that was just fodder to get you to watch the last season. This family special now? That’s just to keep you idiots hanging on.

Anonymous said:                                                                      Couldn’t they let the Fosters end before pummelling is with their beloved spinoff? It’s sickening the way they’ve acted over it all. And now those two girls are exec producers too- wow being a sellout pays very well 💵 💰             

No, they’re users. They can’t let that shit stand on its own. They will use every single fosters fan whose heart is broken to keep earning them money. Fuck them. Don’t watch the finale live. Don’t watch it on DVR. Download illegally or watch the highlight videos on my channel. I’ll be real busy that week, but that’s my goal, won’t be able to answer questions, etc, but I will have the videos.

Anonymous said:                                                                      They lied about the moms spinoff. Now it’s maybe, possibly, if you watch our new show, you may get Fosters specials. They are con artists at this point. Don’t believe a word they say!! Hope the spinoff bombs. Prediction: The first one will get solid ratings, people will be intrigued, then it will die a death as people realise a show revolving around those two girls is mind numbingly boring.             

Yeah they lied and I said that a long time ago. I don’t understand how anyone can believe them at this point. They conned fans into fighting for a renewal so that they could sell their spin off and earn money off our fanaticism. Then they used people lying about a mom spin off, and now this vague “family special.” Shove it up your ass. Honestly, I am not sitting through the absolute worst of the fosters: i.e.: self-important, insufferable Callie, in order to get a tiny bit of family. No thanks.

Anonymous said:                                                                      If I’m the moms or the three boys I wouldn’t even accept any special appearances on the spinoff clearly they seem to matter less than the two girls when in reality it shouldn’t be that way            

Why the hell would they accept a gig that wont’ pay very much but is making double money for people who used to get paid the same. It makes no sense. I wouldn’t do it. I’d suddenly find myself to be too busy. Those two kids being executive producers is the ultimate slap in the face. I don’t even know what to say about that. Completely undeserved.

Anonymous said:                                                                      You thought they’d leave Callie going for her brothers alone but now her future brother in law is probably in the spin-off too lol this show has become a joke of what it once was             

lol, brother, adopted brother, foster brother, brother in-law same difference to Callie.

Anonymous said:                                                                      Did you see Joanna's tweet about tuning into the spinoff so that we can be rewarded with Fosters specials or another writer saying that this own be the last you see of the moms and the kids. What a joke they're already trying to cover the fact that this show is gonna flop nobody watched because of Callie and Mariana if anything those two might be the most hated characters             

Dude, fuck them. I am sure mistofer was assuring us Hayden would be on the show. Honestly, he and noah are the only ones who wouldn’t be lowering themselves by making that appearance.

Anonymous said:                                                                      They have made them EP’s?!?!?! Jesus Christ!!! The two most annoying characters in the whole show. I never got the appeal. Fcuked their fellow cast, get their own show and are eps. What a world. 🤬🤬             

This is proof that this world is neither fair, nor right. The most talented actors have been kicked to the side, the lack of respect for the two women who made the show special is unbelievable.

Anonymous said:                                                                      Tv shows end but I’ll always be pissed at how the Fosters was handled. All the negotiations behind the backs of the other cast members. Sherri and Teri were the leads, they deserved so much better. I don’t really care who made the decision to cancel the show the creators who have been with the cast for five seasons should have treated the dumped cast members with far more respect. Selfish personal motivations, hope it all falls flat on its face.             

Here’s what the producers knew. Freeform sucks, no matter how badly this show tanks, and IT WILL, they will renew it for season 2. So they sold out a season 6 for 2 seasons of shit. It’s hit and it was the wrong thing to do.

Anonymous said:                                                                      Lol! It’s gone from Bradley and Joanna bullshitting the fans with the hope for a mom’s spin off to now Fosters specials if the ratings are high enough! They’re so transparent, we’re not going to watch your terrible spinoff. You made the wrong choice, your not going to retain the audience that was their for the fam. Sorry!!!!!

Fuck your show. We ain’t watching. I’d rather have a teri/sherri produced product than anything these lying assholes have to offer. You wanted this spin off, you got it, live with it. Live with the fans left, live with the shit you wanted. Leave us the fuck alone.

Anonymous said:                                                                      Joanna Johnson asking everyone to watch the three summer specials so we get Fosters specials in the future. My personal opinion, Teri won’t work with any of them again. That’s my hope anyway. Rise above those that would sell their mothers for their own benefit!

Yeah, I wouldn’t blame her if she did but I really hope she doesn’t. And I trust that Sherri will honor Stef and Lena. I think it’s best if they stayed busy elsewhere. Yes, rise above those who sold their mothers.

Anonymous said:                                                                      And everyone is mad all over again. Can’t believe they made those two exec producers too. Dear god!! They were never the stars of the Fosters. This is all due to their social media presence. Freeform et al think that equals ratings. It doesn’t, look at Famous in Love with Bella Thorne- flop!! If this only last one season that will make me even more angry as it will justify the idea that a season 6 should’ve happened instead. Good Trouble - what a crap name!! 

Yeah, they think their social media numbers will translate into an audience. It won’t. They can’t sell shit and maia’s acting has only gotten worse. Freeform has nothing. Even if it has a .01 rating it will get renewed. I just hope it bottom feeds on the channel of the worst ratings on cable.

#Anonymous

[seigyokus]

Producer Letter #13

Same old translation-paraphrase mix as usual. Mostly translation this time though!

To everyone supporting Idolish Seven,

Thank you for your continuous support throughout 2017, a year full of new challenges that we couldn't have taken on without everyone.

We began releasing Part 3 of the story in-game, released singles and albums, and announced several new music videos underway. We were even able to present the path all of these idols have taken to everyone through the Idolish Seven Exhibit.

And so, 2018--

Both the anime and live are beginning to take shape. All of the staff members will be doing their best so that everyone will enjoy next year as well.

We are truly grateful for all of the support in 2017. As this 2017 reaches its end, we'd like to look back upon the year as well as announce our future directions for this project.

[About the Project as a Whole]

◆ About Part 3 We plan on releasing Chapter 18 of the story in January. Facing yourself, the importance of trust in your comrades, a new force rising to the top and throwing the idol world asunder, the unbreakable spirit and will to stand up to fight....

All of the various mindsets and expectations* will rise to prominence at the climax of the story. (T/N: omowaku can mean 'thought' or 'expectation/prediction/anticipation' so due to the lack of background context, I put both definitions in)

Once more... "Focus-- on the future and nothing more." Just like the feelings behind this phrase, please walk by these idols’ sides until the very end. (T/N: This whole bit is super vague! Also I forgot how I first tl'd that Part 3 catchphrase, or if I ever did it at all??? I feel like I have but my goldfish memory..........)

◆ About the Music Re:vale's new single 『NO DOUBT』 will be released on January 10th! The full versions of the songs are sure to surprise everyone, and we'd be very happy if you purchased the single. As we announced earlier today, we will also be releasing solo songs for each character on their birthday as part of our 『12 SONGS GIFT』 project! Please look forward to future announcements on this topic!

We also plan on releasing singles for the anime opening and ending themes, so please look forward to those releases as well.

◆ About the TV Anime "Idolish 7" (T/N: Stylized it as Crunchyroll does it since that's who's English subbing + simulcasting i7 this upcoming season!) On January 1st, we'll be broadcasting a special for Episodes 1+2 on TOKYO MX beginning 20:00 PM JST. This marks the start of the anime broadcast! Additionally, Episode 3 will be aired on TOKYO MX on the 7th, and be regularly broadcast from thereon out.

As for the anime opening, we'll be uploading it on YouTube around the time it airs on TV so everyone across the nation can enjoy it at the same time.

Please check the anime site and twitter for more details on broadcasting sites and stations.

Anime official site: http://idolish7.com/aninana/  Anime official twitter: https://twitter.com/ID7_anime

◆ About the Anime Spin-Off Series We were finally able to announce the spin-off series! This will be released as YouTube Originals so everyone can enjoy watching more animated stories about the idols. The first one will be 『TRIGGER 〜before The Radiant Glory〜』. The exclusive behind-the scenes story about TRIGGER's formation was novelized and comicalized, and now we hope you will enjoy watching the animated version. Here is a link to the teaser PV! 

More on this work will be announced at any given moment, so please look forward to it!

◆ About the Music Video Animations Next up in our Music Video Animation Series is IDOLiSH7's new music video, animated by MAPPA. This marks the 7th video in our series. We have not decided on a release date as of this moment, but we are dilligently working on the project and making progress. Please look forward to the finished product!

◆ About the Live At long last, we'll be holding our first live concert in 2018! We are still preparing the details for the next announcement, so please look forward to it!

◆ About the Comicalization+Novelization We have always wanted to expand on Re:vale's backstory ever since we began releasing Part 2 of the game story, beginning from the dawn of the band through their indies days. Thanks to Hakusensha, we've gotten our chance to tell their story through a three-part novel. We hope you are all enjoying 『Banri Ikkuu』's novelization, the first two chapters of which have been released online, as well as the comicalization, which began on December 9th. Please look forward to each of the stories told in 『Senko Fuma』 and 『Hyakusai Mukyuu』 as well! We would be very happy if you felt even a fragment of their feelings as you read these works.

(T/N: The Big Thing is that the number kanji from Banri, Yuki, and Momo's names are in the title of their parts. Banri gets his Whole Name which is kinda cool HAHA. I tweeted an explanation abt the titles a while ago and you can check it out here!) (T/N 2: Also wow official i7 staff is a Sadist bc i read both chapters of Banri Ikkuu out rn and let me tell u now all i felt was immense agony as i read abt how Banri felt, just Pain HAHA (it’s really good))

Additionally, we will be novelizing the chaotic world of "Ainana Gakuen" too! We are certain it'll be a very lively story, so we hope everyone will buy a copy of the book!

[About the Game]

We staff members will be giving it our all in 2018 as well so everyone can enjoy the game. We have plenty of events in store for this upcoming year, and we hope you will enjoy the game alongside the anime!

[About Upcoming Game Adjustments and Features]

◆ About Recently Added Updates We have added a Waiting Room feature in our latest update. We hope this will alleviate any inconveniences caused by holding multiple copies of an unidolized card due to lacking the items to idolize them, even if just a little. (T/N: You can read more abt this function here! Kind of interesting to see what the intended use was bc I am storing basically everything not a true SSR w good potential stats in there HAHA)

◆ Events We kicked off our first Rabbit Hall event in celebration of Christmas! Upon release, we have come to realize some of the features are faulty and we are sorry for any inconveniences caused. We hope that everyone will enjoy the event until the next. In 2017, we had a large-scale story release event and collaboration events. Likewise, we hope to implement all sorts of events for everyone's enjoyment.

◆ New Features We are currently on Version 3.0 of the game. Regarding the play style, we are aware that the interface and design are lagging behind in some aspects and we are deeply sorry to everyone for the trouble it has caused. We will be focusing on making the game easier to understand and play from here on out in addition to implementing new features. Furthermore, we understand that there are very few opportunities to obtain items for UR idolization. We are currently in the process of creating an enjoyable way to obtain them through gameplay, so please look forward to future updates on this issue.

◆ Questions, Comments, or Concerns about the Game Please contact us through our official home page through the following link: http://idolish7.com/contact/ 

Thank you for reading our letter all the way through. We truly appreciate it. The countless support from everyone gave us strength throughout this entire year. As for this upcoming year, there are countless challenges we have yet to take on, and we staff will do our best to continue delivering 'surprise' and 'fun' to everyone.

Thank you for everything, and we will be in your care next year as well.

Let's all Ainana in 2018!

THAT WAS A LONG ONE, and long time no post! Merry Christmas and happy holidays to everyone! 

Hopefully I’ll be able to find time to post a couple chapters of Part 3 this break, and thank you again for your continued patience. 

I’m super looking forward to i7′s big break on TV in just a few days, and please spread the love for this franchise!

#idolish7 #アイドリッシュセブン #news

[johncaomusic]

‘do you ever think of me’ out now!

wow! i can’t believe it’s finally out.

https://smarturl.it/DoYouEverThinkOfME

‘do you ever think of me’ is my first release since 2018. i’ve grown so much since then. you can read the voyageLA interview from last year to get an insight in how my life and mentality have changed over the past few years. some of the changes i’ve been through have definitely been for the better, while others... well, let’s just say i have become a little more numb to the world and am fresh outta fucks to give. 

with that mentality, i found myself resonating more and more with 80s-inspired genres like synthwave and vaporwave - listening to nostalgic music helps make the world stand still for a little bit. thus, my sound has evolved to embrace the sonic landscape of the past, and ‘do you ever think of me’ is the lead single from my upcoming EP, which is inspired by synthwave, vaporwave, italo disco, and other 80s based genres, and will be released in 2020.

'do you ever think of me’ is a popwave track that talks about seeing someone you have feelings for get in a relationship with someone else. when that happened to me last year, i did my best at playing it cool while internally spiraling down a path of self-doubt and existential crisis, wondering if i mattered as much to the people who matter to me. it also happened at the worst possible time. after spending 4 years in los angeles, i had now just lost my job (which i spent so long getting hired for and was let go right away) and was now facing money and visa issues. catching these feelings on top of all that really made me question what i was doing with my life and where i belonged. that’s when i sat down and penned this song, and i decided to just be completely honest with myself and write the harsh truth. and i think it paid off!

the track has received an overwhelmingly positive response, having been featured on music blogs such as popmuzik.se, headphones for robots, teases and dares, nichemusic.info, and talk about pop music. it’s received comments such as “wonderfully engaging”, “an absolute bop”, and even japanese words that google translate didn’t help me understand.

the song is also receiving radio airplay, being played on shows like “overview is on the radio” and “forever synth”. it’s been added to multiple curator’s playlists on spotify and soundcloud (such as deer du bois’s weekly playlist, synthwave 101, night shift, summer 1984, etc). last, but not least, it’s been spread on twitter among the insanely supportive synthwave community, using the hashtag #synthfam. i’m so grateful for all of this!

this is only the beginning. i’m working hard on getting the song heard by as many people as possible. it’s a vulnerable piece of me that i’m proud to be sharing. there’ll be more singles and more truth in the coming months, and ultimately my EP, which i’m focusing on finishing. i’m so excited to share this with the world.

‘do you ever think of me’ is out now everywhere. feel free to listen and share.

https://smarturl.it/DoYouEverThinkOfME

thanks and lots of love, john cao

ps. does anyone even read these posts?

#synthwave #vaporwave #retrowave #80s #popwave #new music #synthpop

[ryoosukeyamada]

Wow, thanks for showing so much interest in the team everyone! We actually took the time to ask our members to write a little bio about themselves so that you guys can get to know us better. Please don’t hesitate if you have more questions for us!

@shinjikagawa-baby (Portia) ✨Timer, Typesetter, Encoder✨ Portia from the Phillipines! Founder of this fansite and fansub team! Currently on a hiatus. She’s a sweet girl who’s both into soccer and spiderman. Her ichiban is Yamada and that solves the mystery behind our team’s name. She was the one who started this fansub and fansite, initially planning to focus on Yamada. But since our members have expanded and now we’ve become a bigger team, we began to focus on other members too, making us a HSJ fan sub team. We love each of the members.

@humming-yay ✨Translator✨ Hello I’m Yuna and I’m one of the translators! My parents are both Japanese but I was born and raised in Australia so I am bilingual :) I’ve always watched Japanese TV so I knew of HSJ and I also watched School Kakumei but I only started getting into them in 2015 when they released Chau ^^ I saw thier performance and got really into them since then! My bias is Chinen <3 I also like Arashi and NEWS too!

@gayforjay ✨Translator✨ I’m Daniel and I’m a translator for our subbing team! I live in the US but both of my parents are from Japan, so that’s how I know how to speak Japanese. I learned about HSJ from the drama Scrap Teacher but didn’t really start becoming a fan of the group until Itadaki High Jump started. My biases now are Keito and Takaki (who has the same birthday as Xiumin from EXO!) I also like Arashi, NEWS, BTS and EXO! My tumblr username is gayforjay and my twitter is @gay4jay

@shiawaserainbw9 ✨Translator✨ Hi! I’m Yuri from Australia ~ Hika is my ichiban ❤️ Although I will admit Yuya does a pretty good job of being a bias wrecker. I first got to know of Jump when Yuya caught my eye in Gokusen 3 and Hikaru in Ikemen desu ne and I discovered they were from the same group! I’ve been a fan ever since. I’m always happy to meet other fans because I could talk about HSJ all day long😂 I also love NEWS!  Yoroshiku onegaishimasu ~~

@cecevy ✨Typesetter✨ Hi! Cece, from Indonesia. Ansatsu Kyoshitsu LA and Grasshopper were the first movies that I watched, so it means that Yamada was the one who pulled me to enter this fandom, I was so grateful he did that. lol. But, I officially declared myself as a Tobikko since I watched Keito calling Yamada “very unattractive” on Itadaki High Jump HAHA, and thereafter I claimed Keito as my ichiban. I even consider myself an Alpaca since Keito is a fluffy fetish, no I mean a die-hard Alpaca lover. lol. Oh, and if you happened to notice any little silly comments in the videos, that’s me!^^ I’m sorry, I couldn’t help myself I kept flailing over JUMP. I love all the members! My tumblr and twitter: cecevy.

@thaztha ✨Typesetter✨ Hello~ I’m Tha, an Indonesian. Currently in my 20s. Got to know HSJ back in 2009 but they are still too young for my liking back then, so I kind of shrugged them off.. Years later, I found out that Kindaichi has a new drama series. Seeing Yamada all grown up, I got curious about HSJ. So i dug deeper. I completely falling in love with the voice who sang the first lines on Score. Yep. That voice belongs to the adorable sunshine, Arioka Daiki!

@jellylei55 ✨Timer✨

@inookei ✨Timer✨

@pockethearts ✨Timer✨

@Norapedia1 ✨Timer, Typesetter✨ Name is Noura, from Saudi Arabia, 20 years old. hsj/arashi/anime.etc english to arabic translator in the past, decided to join this team Instead for the sake of spreading the Jump’s love on wider range! yama’s angelic voice was the reason why i first started following these boys seven years ago. he is my “never ending crush” since then.

@delikeito8010 ✨Timer, Typesetter✨ Hey! I’m Venus, from Canada, where finding another Jpop enthusiast is like trying to find a needle in a haystack. Yamada brought me to HSJ (via Assassination Classroom, I think), but my bias is Inoo (most of the time, I love them all too much). On my quest to find more Jpop in 2016, I stumbled upon HSJ and promptly fell head over heels for these 9 dorks. I blame the Fantastic Time PV & making, their dancing and ability to act like grade schoolers simultaneously piqued my interest. Oh, Itadaki High Jump helped too.

@FaiaSakura ✨Timer, Typesetter✨

@Puppyboo5 ✨Timer, Encoder✨ Tina, the 1st gen of Heisei :“D I’ve known Yama-chan since 2007 from Tantei Gakuen but not as a fan. Until 2016, I watched Cain and Abel drama and recognized how well he grow up hehe. So I’ve been tobikko from about the end of 2016 >0<

@aizawanikka ✨Timer, Typesetter, Encoder✨ I’m Nikka from Indonesia. I’ve been a JUMP fan since around 2008-ish. Basically my path to knowing JUMP was Nobuta wo Produce-fetus YutoYama in Seishun Amigo-Yamada as Amakusa Ryu. I start to develop interest in him as an actor in TGQ but only after I saw him dance and sing at a JUMP concert clip I began to fall for him and now here I am [STUCK IN THIS FANDOM LOL]. I love JUMP because of their amazing bond with each other. FMA & JUMP is my two favorite thing so FMA live action is a big deal for me. I started becoming active in the fandom ever since the live action news broke out. I joined this fansub to spread the love for our boys of course by providing an open subbing community where everyone has easy access to JUMP’s subbed videos.

@sarapyon ✨Translator, Timer, Typesetter, Encoder✨ Hiyom! I’m Sarah Jane from the Philippines but I’m mostly known in any social media as Sarapyon/Sarapyon1228. My tumblr blog is kinda well-known for being into the otaku fandom especially anime, seiyuus and video games, but I’ve been an Hey! Say! JUMP fan ever since the original HS7 because of their songs being the opening and ending songs (Hey! Say! and Bon Bon) of Lovely Complex anime and since then, I’ve been following them until now. I don’t really show it much on my blog that I’m also into Johnny’s but I do make some gifsets from time to time ^^ I even tried to let go of being a tobikko before but it’s really hard to let it go especially when HSJ is the reason how I got so interested to Japanese culture so much (｡’▽’｡)♡ That’s why I’m here in this fansub team to help out you guys understand what they’re saying in the shows, dramas and such they’re in (๑°꒵°๑) If you guys know me in the otaku fandom especially about seiyuus, then you know my experience for translating gifsets/videos (￣^￣)ゞ Oh, and also my bias is Yamada Ryosuke hehe~ Tokoro de, minna-san yoroshiku ne (Anyway, everyone, please to meet you)!!

@crystiliastudio ✨Encoder✨ Doumo! Illa desu~A Malaysian. I am the encoder and sometimes raw provider for the team. I also love Photoshop a lot! I knew JUMP since 2010 from Kame’s dramas and attracted to chibi Yuto. But my heart now owned by Ryosuke XD Love each member very much ❤❤❤. Yoroshiku!

By the way, all of these bios have been compiled and put on our Member Page.

#questions #hey! say! jump #ryoosukeyamada #fansubteam #hsj #eng sub #eng subs #english subtitles