#why do i have to pretend that they aren't naturally stronger than me | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

fitzs-trained-monkey · 1 year

Text

How TVD Could Have Been 10,000 Times Better:

(Some Creative Writing Disguised as an Essay)

Look, I think we're all aware that TVD sucks. But that doesn't mean it had to be that way. The CW ruined plenty of shows; SPN, TVD, TO, Legacies, Arrow - I could go on. In spite of weak plot or disappointing endings, these shows had some excellent character concepts and could have been so much better if someone had put just a touch of creative thought into them.

Now, I can't pretend to know much about acting or the world of production, and I can't say I could actually direct anything effectively, but I do have something of an artistic eye. So if I had been the one to direct something like TVD, then I can guarantee that at least the cinematography and music choice would have been ten times better.

Allow me to demonstrate.

Example One:

Do y'all remember the scene where Klaus breaks his curse? (Of course you do.) Let's face it, there are plenty of very cheap, practical tricks that could have made that scene feel ten times as natural and formidable. But, for now, let's just focus on camera and music. The ending to that particular episode with that big, frightening cliffhanger was alright. But you know what could have made it that much better?

Some gosh darn cinematography. So, picture this, if you will:

The full moon has passed it's apex and now sets over the tops of the trees - the forest beyond is black as night. On the edge of the trees, a lone wolf - wild and fierce - is seen prowling into the woods and the camera spins, flipping upside down and you realize... The moon isn't going down at all, it's only just begun to rise. The eerie howls of a wolf pack can be heard in the distance as Feelin' Good by Michael Buble plays full blast....

Significantly better, right? Let's have another.

Example Two:

In season 4, Kol (aka the love of my life) slaughters a bar full of freshly turned vampires. Such would have been an excellent opportunity to exploit the show's TV-14 rating for use of gore, and seeing as vampires aren't technically human, that gives a show a little extra leniency with its gore total. (TVD rarely used gore to it's fullest potential, just a little bit of set dressing and makeup can really drive a scene home. Just watch The Originals: The Awakening web series. That was well used gore.)

Now, even after all the show did to dismiss him, Kol is still a reasonably intimidating character. However, that extra carnage allotment could have been used to create a truly terrifying antagonist. Instead, the show chose to reduce a one-thousand-year-old being's massacre of a dozen or more relatively innocent people to some vague off-screen unfortunate mishap. This was - pardon my French - AN ABSOLUTE PUSSY MOVE!

They could have shown the kills and brought all the horror, without breaking the season's gore total. How? Why like this of course...

The woods are quite dark, but not black. The old pine trees lining a well-traveled dirt road are individually discernable but only just, lit in tones of grey. It's just barely sunrise, yet shadowy figures seem to flit through the dim light. The camera angle is set on the ground, like a person lying in the dirt.

An early morning fog creeps along, pooling in the clearing provided by the path as it carves its way through these forboding woods. The fog rolls and shifts - you're unsure if something or someone has disturbed it. You wait - another moment, another heartbeat - and then you see it: A tall, shadowed silhouette appears through the fog - small and faint at first but growing clearer, stronger as he approaches, much like the music that begins to play - heard by the viewers through the dark figure's headphones. The terrible stranger stalks closer and closer, seeming to grow larger than life, thanks to the camera angle which changes as he passes. The camera moves with him, circling around him once in one continuous shot before settling just a short distance behind. The song heard in his headphones is Stayin' Alive by Bee Gees' and he sways to the beat - casually, carelessly - as he walks toward that absolute dump of a bar.

The figure opens the door and the music becomes just a bit muffled as the door swings shut behind him. The song continues for a moment - just a second or three - calm and ordinary as one would expect and then

BAM!

BLOOD SPRAYS ACROSS A WINDOW!

Suddenly, the audio is no longer confined to those headphones; it expands outward, and now intertwined with the music, the audience hears the screams, the pleas, and the tortured cries of those poor souls as they're slaughtered like pigs. One by one, the screams cut off until it's once again only the music. Then, just as you thought it was all finally over, there's a loud crash - the door opens with a bang and you see a pair of hands latch onto the doorframe. They scrabble and scratch, burning under the faintest touch of sunlight. Something tugs at them, drawing them back inside, but they fight! Then, with a spray of blood across the camera, the hands go slack and are yanked back inside.

The screen goes black and the music stops...

See what I mean?

With just a little bit of camera creativity and a dash of practical effects, TVD could have been so much better, right?

107 notes · View notes

altargarden · 5 days

Note

how do you banish a demon/agressive spirit? everyone says to learn but never gives any recourses or flat out steps.

reposting this disclaimer in case you didn't see it:

nonnie, one thing: my method for exorcism is satanic in nature. i don't practice the christian OR general-heavily-popular-kinda-wiccan-flavoured method to banishing. in my experience neither one of these have worked for me bc demons are very powerful spirits, and they only manage to offend, disrespect, and piss off the demon in question and encourages it to show its power. i just wanted to post this as a warning that my method may not work for you, and if it isn't, then i suggest doing your own research (getting books on protection magic is a good start) and see what resonates with you and makes you feel powerful.

that being said, here's some precautions on banishing demons. i'm not approaching aggressive spirits, because i feel they're not comparable on a general level.

be polite and respectful, always. if you can, request it to leave first and foremost to avoid having to force it out. a common occurrence i've seen in the witchblr community is to get really, really aggressive with banishing and i'm just here to say that when it's concerning a demon, that's not gonna work for you. the reality of the situation is you are not more powerful than the demon. you're a human, and that demon is a grizzly bear. you cannot intimidate the metaphorical bear into leaving if it does not want to leave. pretending to be more powerful than the demon is just going to either make it angry, or make an example of its power. you must respect that a demon is just simply stronger than you and in most cases, will not be afraid of you in any situation.

once the demon is banished, you do not contact it again. you don't say its name, you don't write its name, you don't talk about it, it is dead to you. in my experience, demons are pretty attuned to the energy behind mentioning or thinking intentionally about them. it's part of the reason why most people think about a demon only for the demon to initiate contact soon after. that being said, if you struggle with compulsive thoughts, don't worry - intentionally thinking about them, purposefully thinking about them, putting energy into thinking about them is what they're more likely to pay attention to.

now, the banishing itself. do you know how to summon a demon? because you're gonna need to know how to summon a demon.

the reality of the situation is that christian-approaches to exorcism has never worked for me, and that's because i put zero power into believing that calling up an angel's boss is just not going to work. yes, god is powerful. no, a demon has never cared about me calling up the neighbour store's boss when they work at their own store. you want to contact their boss. they are an employee of their own unique store owner and that's who you want in this situation, because it's their store owner that's responsible for their payments, job, and experiences.

what am i saying with this? i genuinely believe satan, lucifer, or a king that governs over a lot of demons will be much more effective in banishing the demon. that's who they pay attention to! that's who they respect the most! it just makes sense to me, and thus, because it makes sense to me, that gives the banishing power.

now, the part that's homework for you: look into satan, lucifer, or a king who resonates with you. bond with them some, talk to them about your issues. i'm not going to order you on the 'correct' method on how to summon them (as it's different for everyone), but if you can't think of any methods/aren't used to these methods, a very general suggestion is lighting an appropriately-coloured candle (satan loves red or black, lucifer loves white or yellow, and kings have yet to turn away a gold candle for me), lighting some appropriate incense, giving them an offering of food or drink, and playing their enn (i've also seen people recently practice latin-based summoning if an enn isn't for you) and praying to them during. again, get personal with it! cry to them if you need, request their help on a personal level. they will hear you out.

and then, the hardest part, is trusting them to take care of it. they are generous spirits and the most difficult obstacle is simply leaving them to complete the banishing. but it's worth it. this has never failed me, provided the demon did not leave when i dropped contact/requested it to leave.

hope this helps! i just got your second ask, so i'll read that and answer right away.

#bun talks #banishing #theistic satanism

6 notes · View notes

deareststars · 1 year

Note

Hello *echoes* if you're still using this account can you give us some headcanons on Ryuji and Akira growing up in Inaba together?

whoa! long time no see! i basically all but abandoned tumblr & have since come back because…well, headcanons and stuff are more fun to write than actual stories lmao :,) this is in celebration of me finally starting to play p4g!! i will NOT promise any headcanons about anyone until i finish that game…currently in kanji’s dungeon so that will be a long time dkfnskfnkd without further ado…!!!

i think ryuji and akira's friendship would be much like how ann and ryuji's was said to have been in-game. that really feel-good, "as long as we're together we can do anything!" sorta thing, y'know?

their moms totally grew up together, too. hana and...akira's mom omg i've never written about her what the hell is a good name—anyway those two were as thick as thieves, so naturally when they happened to get pregnant around the same time, they were like "our boys are gonna be bffs" and THEY WERE

i mean, let's face it, even if their moms never met inaba is such a small town they would've stumbled across each other anyway but this is so much cuter okay

akira's mom absolutely threatened ryuji's dad with violence when she found out about him abusing the sakamotos

akira too. she knows she raised him right

ANYWAY

i like to think that both akira & ryuji were kind of shy, polite boys growing up, but when ryuji's dad left them behind (probably around 7 or 8?) suddenly akira was suspiciously more protective of ryuji

i mean, this kid managed to perfect his wolf stare within a few months. i hc kid!ryuji as soft, probably cries a lot...so when bullies come along and are unlucky enough to stumble across akira too (which is a given, they're attached at the hip), akira sends them running

he lets ryuji pretend that his "big, strong muscles" scare them off

this ends up becoming ryuji's motivation to get stronger, so he can protect akira the same way

people are now terrified of messing with one part of the duo. bullying decreases by 99% in inaba because these two feral children will not let ANYONE bully someone under their watch

after school, when ryuji & akira aren't busy helping out their moms or generally being angels, they like hanging out at junes (p5 definitely takes place after p4, so junes has always been a staple growing up) or going to get steak skewers

this is how ryuji finds out about his love of meat

akira buys. it's like the 10 year old version of a fancy date. 600 yen is a lot okay—

study dates as they get into middle school are a MUST. ryuji's always been as dumb as rocks. akira is the dumbest smart person you will ever meet. study dates consist of 50% studying, 50% trying to figure out how to parachute off the second story with a trash bag.

pegoryu vibes start happening as study dates become more frequent. ryuji starts noticing how soft akira's hair and hands are as they become more comfortable with physical affection. akira has always known that ryuji shines like the sun, but never that he was so handsome

cue adolescent pining until and during p5 events

SPEAKING OF P5 EVENTS

idk why shido is in inaba. maybe he's trying to secure support from EVERYONE, so he lowers himself to the peasantry and decides to take his campaign to inaba a year early

akira is by himself, miraculously, so everything happens as normal...

but when the case happens & he's sent on probation, ryuji absolutely follows him to the city. it breaks his heart to leave hana behind (she's supportive of it, she knows those boys are gay for each other (platonically OR romantically, she doesn't care)) but he knows akira won't last a day

since no kamoshida means no broken leg, he's got that track scholarship going for him, but it's a lot of training on his own (and with akira, pegoryu as gym bros will always make me soft) since kamoshida still would've screwed up the track team

still, when he and akira run late to school because of the rain and spotting their soon-to-be-classmate (aka ann) get in the car of some sleazy asshole, there's absolutely no reason why ryuji wouldn't be golden-hearted and loyal as always

akira awakens to his persona because they will NEVER leave each other behind

ryuji awakens to his persona for much the same reason, but also because kamoshida = shitty adult = DAMN I'M GETTING PISSED AT MY DAD TOO LET'S FUCKING GO

the rest of the game is not changed. if this were to actually happen, ryuji's confidant would be 100% maxed out because??? how do you grow up with someone and NOT have a blood oath???

anyway childhood friends!pegoryu now owns my heart thank you

#akira kurusu #persona 5 protagonist #ryuji sakamoto #persona 5 #persona 5 royal #headcanons #pegoryu

15 notes · View notes

indexcard · 1 year

Note

I just saw your tags about hp on that post about polls.... and I feel the same and was just really glad to see someone say it.... I think a lot of people are just pretending it never happened for them because they're ashamed but honestly? a lot of people were children when they were introduced to hp, they didn't have things like critical thinking skills. is there like a support club i could join? that's what I want. but instead no one acknowledges it and it makes me not want to say anything but this honestly sucks a lot. but everyone is just like "get over it and read better books" thanks, that's helpful. now my childhood memories suddenly aren't full of wishing I could go to a certain magic school. you solved it.

sorry about a bit of a rant!! I just wanted to say: I get it.

it's natural to be ashamed, but it was too big a part of my life to just pretend. i just have to live with the knowledge that something i loved as a kid turned out to be written by a horrible person, who went on to create media that expounded her views even more explicitly.

and also, it was never really about a lack of critical thinking skills. i have said before on this blog that sections of the fandom were always critical, and i was pretty much immersed in that online fandom from age 11. i'm exhausted because i've been boycotting her new work since fantastic beasts. even cursed child, when everyone was saying how amazing it was. i don't say this to claim some kind of moral high ground but to contextualise why this particular spate of "let's pretend hp never existed" really annoys me personally. if it never existed, then how did my antagonism towards something i loved help develop my moral compass as a teenager, convictions which have carried well into my adult life? you know?

you become stronger when you learn to live with change and dissonance and genuine hurt in your life - in that sense, i suspect you already have that support group within yourself, because you recognise that "get over it" is unhelpful. rather than trying to erase your past connection to something created by a dangerous bigot, you've acknowledged how that's shaped you, and become more principled because of it, which is more than i can say for whatever's in the water lately.

i feel like in light of what jkr's direct contribution to british public discourse has led to lately, what her open bigotry has enabled, i shouldn't even be posting about this - so this is my last and final word on the matter. but i do think... avoiding a hurtful topic on my blog is very different to coyly posting about fandom nostalgia with a wink wink nudge nudge to that cringe thing everyone used to like. i would like to think we learnt from our experiences, rather than brushing them under a rug. the callout era has made us scared of saying we used to like bad things. imo, grow up, own your shame or move on.

okay, paying my tax for posting about that woman, and you (general, not targeted at your ask!) can too. donate to mermaids uk.

#cw transphobia

2 notes · View notes

offrozenmemoirs · 6 months

Note

Slinking from the shadows of the alley, Maisie Doscedar steps into the fringe of the prince's peripheral. Both of her hands are clasped at the small of her back, silent and assured, her posture impeccable. As Dewburrow's proverbial eyes, details scarcely escape her. Though she may not always grasp the full narrative, a pattern spotted means the tracking commences for the one-person hunting party. "Koto, what a pleasure to see you this evening." She greets him with a welcoming smile. The following inquiry comes with candid casualness: "A quick query: have you, by chance, noticed Orchidus' spontaneous disappearances?" Her lips press together, her eyes briefly flitting as if gathering her thoughts. "It's a strange recurrence."

Her gaze returns to him, that genial glimmer going from her eyes. "It is almost as if he was plucked from our midst by unseen forces. Spirited away even. Funny that." A sharp intensity belied in her eyes, the mirth hollowed from her voice. It's best not to deceive, for Maisie's eyes are as keen as a hunting dog finding its quarry.

Unprompted Asks || Accepting! @allthatisleftinthedark

"Hm, I don't know what you mean. Why would I bother sheltering Orchidus when he's shown to enjoy your home more than mine?"

Makoto's face betrays no emotion as he speaks. After all, he doesn't need the gnome beginning to question him or any of his potential exploits. Not to mention that he and Ori hadn't really given any real talk about what this was. They're less in a relationship and more...Two very confused individuals who happen to have an interest in one another. It's something he worries over, because he's aware of the bleedover's effect on himself, but he's not certain on how it affects his party members. Their union is something uncertain already, close to being fragile. If not because of the inherent issues that came from Ori not belonging to their world, then certainly his and Maisie's statuses as representatives of their homes.

"I certainly wouldn't hide your boytoy from you."

He smiles, almost casually as he places his hands behind his back. Glacial eyes peering back into her own.

[Don't you get bored of pretending you're not hopelessly pining after her? You could probably get somewhere if you were honest with your feelings for once. But you're too stubborn to open yourself to something new, aren't you?]

His face betrays nothing as he begins to walk away from Maisie. Already feeling Khorne's presence returning once more, he needs to leave before things go out of control. It's one thing to deal with the dark god of war when he was angered enough...It's another entirely when it comes to matters of the heart.

[Ignoring me again, 'Koto? You wound me. You know I won't go anywhere, not for long. For one so cold about the taking of lives...You're certainly a coward when it comes to embracing others, aren't you?]

"Be silent."

Makoto keeps his face steeled, and his lips do not move as he speaks within his mind.

[All should behold the poor Prince of Frost. An unfeeling paragon of sacrificing all for the sake of his people! Denying himself the pleasures of the flesh and even pride in war! Truly, if he were any more of a courageous man, he would be a Saint!]

Makoto's wings spread and he took to the skies, he needed to leave, lest Maisie question him, and not out of whatever she wanted to learn, but concern most likely. He supposes he understands...He is a constant risk, falling into a blood rage if he's not careful when he gets angered enough. His very nature as a spirit made his emotions a much stronger thing than he liked to admit. He hates that he doesn't know how to be vulnerable, because the very idea of someone seeing him at his lowest, seeing the facade crumble into dust...It terrifies him. He doesn't know what to do, because he was never prepared to deal with this.

He does not want these feelings, because what was he supposed to do with them? How was he supposed to open himself to another, when it meant that he would have to open himself to losing them?

Tis better to suffer in silence.

#canto d'inverno (in character; makoto)#allthatisleftinthedark

1 note · View note

thatwitchyaunt · 1 year

Text

Makeup for Magick/Ritual p7: Samhain

LETS PRETEND THESE LAST TWO AREN'T HORRENDOUSLY PATHETICALLY LATE, OKAY??? OKAY!!!

Obviously these are the original pictures from last year, so I’ll mention any new releases that have popped up since then that I think fit (that I have). So, let’s get into it!

According to my personal notes, colors associated with Samhain are:

Black

Orange

Red

Brown

Gold

Silver

Bronze

Yellow

Indigo

White

Golden

Yellow

Purple

And I, personally, have included some greens in the palette. Both for usual spooky season reasons (which I still celebrate because I love it, and it’s a way to honor my papa since he was super festive at every holiday) and because we’ve got green pumpkins and gourds, as well as some green leaves that are holding in for dear life in the trees. So it should be included.

First up: Juvia’s Place

The Violets: The veil between the world of the living and the dead is at it’s thinnest at Samhain, so it’s the perfect time for all kinds of divination and spirit communication. Psychic abilities seem to be stronger around this time of year and people tend to have more paranormal experiences, as well. Colors like purple, indigo and silver are often associated with intuition and psychic ability, so this is a good palette to reach for if you want to lean in to the uptick of psychic energy.

The Tribe: Oranges and greens, pumpkins and changing leaves. If you want your look to reflect what nature is doing, this palette has a great color story for it.

The Festival: Early on in the creation of this makeup series, I decided this palette was going to be in the Samhain post, primarily because of the red and metallic black. But it’s also has your oranges and golds.

Afrique: I put this palette on the list for the deeper reds, green, purple and gold.

The Saharan: This palette’s on the list for the black and the oranges, basically.

Next, Give Me Glow and Shroud Cosmetics…

GMG Juicy Olive Palette: A palette for more murky olive greens.

GMG Grunge Palette: This is for the darker purple, brown and black mattes. The original reason I wanted this palette so bad was for all the nice deepening shades.

SC Spooky Cute Palette: Other than the black, the pastel shades are good for blending out the edges of more colorful looks. That’s it. That’s why it’s on the list.

SC Arcana Palette: Arcane’s dark jewel and muted color tones work really well for the sabbat in general. Some of the colors are more muted in person than they are in the picture, but in a good way. Maybe “murkier” is a better word for it? I dunno… Granted, this one is based more on the “sitting at an altar/grave, communing with the dead, burning candles and incense” vibes it gives off when I look at it. So… Plus they spell “Altar” right, which a bunch of witches online tend to fuck up regularly, so props for that.

SC x Beautbean It’s Freakin’ Bats Palette: This one’s really cute for Halloween, what with the theming and references, and the Sam shade is so unique in my collection. For Samhain, however, the focus is on the purples for a intuition and psychic ability boost.

Next is Urban Decay and Kristen Leigh Cosmetics. Because of the whole supporting Putin situation, I’ll be skipping over ABH for the foreseeable future. Instead we’ll talk about a palette from Unearthly Cosmetics (formerly Alien Cosmetics) that I bought this past year that I think fits.

UD Born to Run Palette: Like at Mabon, the fall vibes of this palette live on. The black, dark grey and murky purple, orange, brown and bronze shades lends itself to this darker tone of year.

KLC Autumn Vibes Palette: Undeniably a companion palette since it’s four metallic/ duochrome shades. If you’re going for a late-fall nature focus, any of these will would work.

UC Poison Apple Palette (new, not pictured): At Samhain, apples are used for divination and as offerings to our beloved dead. This palette, from the mattes to the duochromes, embody this sacred fruit perfectly. It also works great for Mabon.

Haven’t said this in a while. Time for our lord and savior, Colourpop!

Blowing’ Smoke: The color black is associated with death, the dark and cold night (growing longer until Yule) and protection; grey is associated with divination, intuition, spirit and ancestor communication, death and the underworld; and silver is associated with protection and intuition/psychic ability. So, a good color story to work with at Samhain. If you’re new to makeup, go in slowly with black eyeshadow. That ish can go from 0 to 60 in a blink.

Orange You Glad?: Specifically for the two darker mattes. And say it with me! Fuck pressed glitter! Uhg, that could have been such a beautiful duochrome!

Main Squeeze: Again, this one is specifically for the darker blood red shades on the bottom row.

It’s My Pleasure: A decent purple palette with a few different purple tones in the shimmers to work with.

Yes, Please!: While not super deep, the OG Colourpop palette is the “work appropriate” red-orange-yellow Samhain palette.

Whatever: Again, fuck pressed glitter. But the reds and browns are nice and deep, and with the orangey-bronze shade “Not OK”, it mimics the majority of leaves on the trees this late in autumn. Just more glam.

On to BH Cosmetics. I haven’t really bought anything from them since they were bought out by Makeup Revolution. So I don’t know if the formula’s changed at all. I do know that a good chunk of their palettes got discontinued, though.

Poison Shock Scorpion Sting: I’d bring in the dark orange matte from Orange You Glad?, since the three mattes don’t go as deep. Metallic wise, you have a lot of options for whatever leaf or pumpkin you’re trying to replicate.

Poison Shock Nightshade: Again, the mattes don’t go as deep as I’d like, but it still works nicely.

Poison Shock Venom: The Venom shades can be used similarly to Blowin’ Smoke from CP. it just has one or two more purpley shades to work with

Zodiac: All of the mattes besides the Leo and Virgo mattes are great purple/black/browns to use. The baked metallics that would work for Samhain are Cancer, Gemini, Pisces, Capricorn, Sagittarius, Scorpio and Libra.

Love in London: I chose this specifically for the matte black, a couple of the matte browns, and the purple, dark grey and gold metallics. Definitely another office appropriate palette choices.

Passion in Paris: Strictly for the reds, purples and greys. Though this is more “wintery”.

Bringing up the rear, we have the single shadows! Starting with Kristen Leigh Cosmetics, Terra Moons, and Shroud.

KLC Halloween Havoc Collection:

Haunted: an orange to gold iridescent duochrome highlighter with gold to green to silver blue color shifts.

Jack-O-Lantern: a pumpkin orange multidimensional eyeshadow with gold to green to silver blue color shifts.

Potion: a light leafy green duochrome eyeshadow with lots of iridescent green duochrome sparkles.

Sorcery: a cool toned dark brown to purple duochrome, multidimensional eyeshadow with purple to pink to blue to gold and slight orange shifts depending on the lighting and angles.

Terra Moons:

Hurricane: a warm-toned medium-dark orange metallic.

Spiked: a warm, dark red.

Bonfire: a duochrome orange-red shimmer.

Martian: a duochrome green, gold and reddish shimmer.

Shroud:

World Eater: an intense true red metallic shimmer.

Ignite: a fiery copper metallic.

Vigil: a golden yellow metallic.

Enigma: a mid tone purple with an icy blue shift.

Pillow Talk: a deep purple with an intense gold shimmering reflect.

Scrumptious: a coral red shimmer with an intense gold shimmering reflect.

Artifact: a grungy olive green metallic with a slight golden shift.

Nightsong: a deep metallic blue with a black base.

Next, Looxi Beauty.

Jelly: a blue purple duochrome.

Gator: a missy green with shifts of brown and pale yellow.

Adorbs!: a reddish bronze with shifts of gold and green.

Honey Pot: a golden orange with shifts of copper, yellow and purple.

Hocus Pocus: a purple shade with shifts of olive green.

Poppy: a deep, dark metallic burgundy.

Follow Me: a vibrant orange gold shimmer.

Tricked: a vibrant golden yellow shimmer.

Poor Unfortunate Souls: a purple shimmer.

Forbidden Fruit: a bold metallic red shimmer.

Emerald: a burgundy with shifts of green, gold and copper.

The Monarch: a bronzed brown with shifts of rose and gold.

Juice: a deep wine red with shifts of brown, gold, and green.

Omega: a green metallic with shifts of teal, purple and dark blue.

Firefly: a red with with a copper/orange/gold shift.

Lady Luck: a bronze gold with shifts of green, red and brownish purple.

Starry Night: a mid-toned blue with a violet undertone.

Lagoon: a metallic, golden olive shimmer.

Spyro: a grape metallic

Coppa’ Feel: a bold, metallic copper with a hint of pink.

That’s What She Said: a golden metallic with slight hints of green.

Bonfire Babe: a vibrant fiery orange with shifts of yellow gold and pink.

Next to You: a deep purple with an electric blue shift.

For the Graham: a cinnamon brown with shifts of red, gold, and orange

And finally, Give Me Glow!

Leggings: matte ultra black

Blackened Plum: deep smoky purple matte

Chili: deep rustic red-orange matte

TBT: deep burnt rustic orange matte

Toxic: vibrant deep true purple matte

Storm: a cool toned purple taupe metallic

Selfie: a warm toned medium-dark copper metallic

You’re Cheesy: a warm toned, light-medium orange metallic

Ultraviolence: a deep purple based violet metallic

Satellite: aluminum foil silver metallic

Halo: white with baby blue and gold shifts

Marshmallow: pure white matte

And with that, we’ve finished Samhain. Not much else to say except, if you have any ideas you’d like to add, please do!

Now on to the final sabbat: Yule!

#Makeup for Magick/Rituals #Samhain #Halloween #sabbats #travel witchcraft #broom closet #witchcraft #rituals #magick

1 note · View note

baekhvuns · 1 year

Note

Not in the mood for royal things after the recent shitshow, but I really like Emma Corrin, they're so great. The Crown always scores such good actors!

I like LA, but in small doses. Every time I go there it seems cool, but also weirdly suffocating? Despite the nice weather and great nature, idk. When it comes to California I prefer San Fran.

Ahhh when is Baek coming back? N/A... we're so close, yet so far... I think he should be back in March

Yes, the siblings, Taeyeon, Taeyong and Taemin skjahsjshryshhana

Have you seen the recent shitshow between Twitter and Tumblr stans?! They wanna come here and raid Tumblr and make us vote and stream and whatnot 😭 some are overdramatic and act like Tumblr is dead and full of only horny people. Have they seen Twitter?!

Honestly if one member of Ateez gave us one thing they own it would solve so many of our problems 🤧

Seonghwa is the main character, the IT guy, but with so much flavour not one of those protagonists who aren't that interesting and get overshadowed by other characters. This is this world

Choosing good thank you cards and freebies can be fun, but also decisions... decisions, lmao there are so many options.

You're right Seonghwa's presence is very big in this household, however maybe we should invest in a cardboard cutout... No, because Seonghwa Targaryen, the Toothless resemblance is not a coincidence

Ahhh the twin story is cute, but I think most of them end up being a love triangle and it either hurts or annoys me, so </3 I would love to choose the nerd, but I feel like the fuckboy would mess me up as well 😢

I'm glad that Seonghwa doesn't have a driving license and I like to think he would be bad at it, but I remember when this happened. Unfortunately he is a loser, but also good at so many things, sigh

While my legs are stronger than my arms, I haven't exercised in 100 years, so no, not toned legs for me, I'm a twig, lol

I don't remember the BTS dream, but after witnessing user's thv recent IG stories I might have nightmares soon

I saw that Hehetmon family drawing and it's cute ngl

I love the grandpafication of Seonghwa! The cutest old man

I instantly thought of model Hwa after seeing him with Black Opium, damn maybe I should re-read it and see if he's still on my shitlist

Omg poor Wooyoung, what an unfortunate timing. But also @ Wooyoung's brother, why get married in fall/winter, come on

Seonghwa's boyfriend agenda is crazyyyy for real, also his vlog, this part I-😭💔🤧😭💔🤧😭🤧💔

Yeah me too every time I see you my guy

Wdym if boxer was alive? He died??? I know you didn't write for him and I also didn't vote for him, but I like to think he exists somewhere...

P.S. I saw you talking about TB *war flashbacks* it reminded me of someone in my gc sending this photo with "idk who this guy is but doesn't he scream seonghwa??? thought it was his fanart" and caused all of us who know True Beauty to spiral. Sometimes when I open the webtoon app and see TB it activates my flight or fight response... - DV 💖

hi hello!!

Not in the mood for royal things after the recent shitshow, but I really like Emma Corrin, they're so great. The Crown always scores such good actors!

emma corrin was rly good!! tho theyre a little generous with charles’s casting every season fbwkfhwk they really do! everyone’s so well casted but this season’s storyline be diana look like a completely helpless person like bro is grilling her personal divorce to ANYONE SHE MEETS 😭😭😭 but the bbc and martin bashir thing was so very well filmed, it was infuriating but it was gREAT,,, the queen tho LMFAOOOO not her whining to pay out of her bank 😭😭 but the tampongate convo GRKSHDWKDJWK

I like LA, but in small doses. Every time I go there it seems cool, but also weirdly suffocating? Despite the nice weather and great nature, idk. When it comes to California I prefer San Fran.

ur right!!!! it’s suffocating despite it being so open 😭😭 never been san fran but i wiLL NOW,,, but despite all the shitty things, new york >>>

Ahhh when is Baek coming back? N/A... we're so close, yet so far... I think he should be back in March

🧍🏻‍♀️🧍🏻‍♀️i thOUGHT U ASKED WHEN I WAS COMING BACK TO DROP A FIC AND SCREAMED HWKDJWK but baek’s coming 02/05! and it’s believed taemin comes a month after him! prAYING HE FUCKING DOES AND EXO SHINEE GO ON A WORLDTOUR

Yes, the siblings, Taeyeon, Taeyong and Taemin skjahsjshryshhana

LMFAOOOO WE NEED THIS SUBUNIT RIGHT ABOUT NOW

SORRY WHAT??? LMFAOO???? PLS 😭😭 tumblr kpop side finally went calm and now this again 😭🤚🏼if they start making those streaming accs here ,,, the deactivate button looking real nice 😭😭

Honestly if one member of Ateez gave us one thing they own it would solve so many of our problems 🤧

YOURE RIGHT !!!! I NEED JONGHOS LV COLLECTION TO PAY FEES FBWKDBWK IM ON MY WAY TO ROB

Seonghwa is the main character, the IT guy, but with so much flavour not one of those protagonists who aren't that interesting and get overshadowed by other characters. This is this world

u are so, so right. THIS IS HIS WORLD I CANT STRESS THIS ENOUGH BUT EVERYTIME I SEE HIM ON MY TL I JUST GO “there’s no man like this, what the fUCK is he” convinced he’s a siren idc idc iDC

Choosing good thank you cards and freebies can be fun, but also decisions... decisions, lmao there are so many options.

EXACTLY IVE BEEN GETTING TO VOTE ON WHICH ONES THE NICER ONE EVERY TWO HRS 😭😭😭

You're right Seonghwa's presence is very big in this household, however maybe we should invest in a cardboard cutout... No, because Seonghwa Targaryen, the Toothless resemblance is not a coincidence

…u did something here, invest in a cutout, yes. but if i see that cutout in the corner of my room at night the scream ill let out would be loud enough to reach his ears irl,,, we need this but with seonghwa

HEAR ME OUT THE LOVE TRIANGLE WONT EXIST WHEN MR FUCKBOY STARTS HIS STUFF 🤚🏼🤚🏼 “but I feel like the fuckboy would mess me up as well” when the fuckboy turns soft, IMGONE

I'm glad that Seonghwa doesn't have a driving license and I like to think he would be bad at it, but I remember when this happened. Unfortunately he is a loser, but also good at so many things, sigh

why would u remind me of that. that heart, the tongue, the hair, the cockiness. this man better not get a driving license any time soon. yunho is fine as their cab driver, WE DONT NEED ANOTHER ONE 😭😭😭

While my legs are stronger than my arms, I haven't exercised in 100 years, so no, not toned legs for me, I'm a twig, lol /// I don't remember the BTS dream, but after witnessing user's thv recent IG stories I might have nightmares soon

i can relate on that one with u 😭😭 OH??? WHAT DID THE USER POST— oh, (just saw what it was) grippers too?? 😭😭😭 NIGHTMARES AGAIN GWMDJS MAYBE HE’LL COME TO SAVE U maybe his furry form will ☺️☺️

I saw that Hehetmon family drawing and it's cute ngl

CUTE???? HORRENDOUS 😭🤚🏼

I love the grandpafication of Seonghwa! The cutest old man

the things id do to see him as one

A hopeless romantic hahsahsjsgshhs who is lowkey romance repulsed. Ah your description is so cute! Now I wanna CAKE (from Sanhwa's patisserie - idk if I could trust them, but I'd act like Nagisa's dad acted towards her mother and pretended she was a good baker - sorry for bringing up Clannad again lmao) /// I instantly thought of model Hwa after seeing him with Black Opium, damn maybe I should re-read it and see if he's still on my shitlist

ROMANCE IMPULSED FBWKFH A HOPELESS ROMANTIC WHO ENJOYS FORBIDDEN RELATIONSHIP BODYGUARD AU’S SO DEARLY 😮‍💨😮‍💨

NOT U BRINGING CLANNAD UP WHY. WHAT WAS THE REASON 😭😭😭 and now don’t be upset if some fics have a sad ending U DID THIS TO URSELF !!! ITS THE WAY HIM USING THE OPIUM AND THE FIC BEING RELEASED A YEAR AGO IM CONVINCED THERES SOMETHING IN THIS ACC,, no re-read it ☺️ he was ☺️ a fun one ☺️ maybe he’ll make u read it again

Omg poor Wooyoung, what an unfortunate timing. But also @ Wooyoung's brother, why get married in fall/winter, come on

when work hinders with personal life, can’t imagine the frustration he must’ve felt 😭 but at least he won’t miss kyungmin’s i guess 😭😭 YEAH HELLO WHY ARE U MARRYING IN THIS COLD 🤨🤨 we could’ve seen ateez at a wedding post 😭🤚🏼

Seonghwa's boyfriend agenda is crazyyyy for real, also his vlog, this part I-😭💔🤧😭💔🤧😭🤧💔

every time i see him, there’s no words left for me to say EVER bc just u all wait, after this yunho fic the way imgonna blow up on seonghwa au’s dO NOT ASK ME FOR ANOTHER MEMBER IM A SHINESTAR WHOLLY

Yeah me too every time I see you my guy /// Wdym if boxer was alive? He died??? I know you didn't write for him and I also didn't vote for him, but I like to think he exists somewhere...

look see, boxer au hwa was a senior and roommates with mingi,, yn had a lil fling with mingi <3 so there’s a little mingi x reader <3 that is until yn finds out the quiet senior roommate of mingi is actually a boxer 😀 OH HE EXISTS as a figment of my imagination <3 it’s also a fic that comes before bodyguard <3

FBWMDBMADBAMDJKW WAR FLASHBACKS PLS STOP I RMR THE WHOLE CONVO WE HAD ABOUT IT DHJSVDKS pLS I GAVE UP ON THE WEBTOON VERSION THE AUTHORS MILKING IT ATP 😭😭 TRUE BEAUTY AND THE I LOVE YOO NOW TRIGGER ME SO BAD

this is not a mother, this is a milf, a vampire one also

🧍🏻‍♀️🧍🏻‍♀️🧍🏻‍♀️

what wrong have we done to not see this irl

double assassination

and a …

oh and have u started reborn rich kdrama yet????

#✉️ : ask #dv 💖 anon

0 notes

12312381239 · 3 years

Text

ok i don't "think i might be" a new radfem

i know i'm one now

#saw a news report that was leaning in favor of trans identified men being allowed into women's sports teams #as someone who wants to possibly get into professional sports it's not fair #LIKE they even said in the news story that 2 TIMs broke 9 records set by 9 actual women #why do i have to pretend that they aren't naturally stronger than me?? we already get paid less than men's sports teams #i'm just really mad #this last week has been really sobering

1 note · View note

l-r-christian · 3 years

Note

One-Shot: Male Reader Is Hope's Fraternal Twin Brother, And Is Ignored By The Mikaelsons. Because He Is Born Human( He Isn't But His True Nature Didn't Awake Yet).

It Left Him Filled Wit Loneliness, And Anger At His Family, And Twin. One Day, While Walking In The Woods Getting Home He Gets Attacked By A Vampire, And It Causes Him To Awake His True Nature As A Hellhound.

He Kills The Vampire, And It Leaves Him With Shock That He Isn't Human, And Is Happy He's Not Vulnerable.

So Y/n Gets Home, And The Mikealsons Aren't Home, Y/n Decides To Leave And Train Himself To His Full Potential.

Freya And Hope Can't Track Him Down Due To Y/n Being Immune To Anything Witch Related.

Yo dudes Imma make this so sad just angst though and though. I also did a bit of mixing of Teen Wolf's Hellhound and some of my own ideas.

Warnings: Heavy angst

Human was what Y/N was unlike his younger twin Hope who was in all sense all powerful. Ever since their birth Y/N was over shadowed by Hope as he didn't understand when it happen but his family began to ignore him and favor Hope. As the once proud Klaus showing off his first born son was now ignored his son and all his attention was on Hope.

"Not now Y/N, Hope needs my help." Was what Y/N heard over the years as he got older, now while Hope took after Hayley. Y/N was more like their father than anyone care to notice as the boy loved art like his father, had mostly Klaus's features but more dangerously Y/N inherited Klaus's temper something Marcel learned the hard.

"Y/N is only human Marcel. He can't harm you." Rebekah told the vampire after Marcel had told her that the boy had stabbed him the throat with a butter knife. At age seventeen now Y/N was used to being alone and having anger for his family how they seemly pretend he wasn't a Mikaelson.

"Where ya going kiddo?" Marcel asked seeing the teen putting on his shoes and had his backpack with him. Y/N looked at the vampire with a glare as Marcel was used to the anger in the boys eyes and mentally cursed the Mikaelsons for not keeping an eye on boy as there was nothing more dangerous than an angry Mikaelson with nothing to lose.

"Why would you care? Do yourself a favor and stop caring for the useless Mikaelson." Y/N tells Marcel anger bleeding though his words as he left the compound and headed for the woods. The woods was where Y/N spent most of his time to draw or to let his anger out but like his father he still held onto it. Y/N sat drawing weird circles that he had been seeing in his dreams lately then got up seeing it was getting dark and as he walked home he was attacked by two vampires.

"Man Klaus is going to pay. And what better way than to drain his kid and leaving the body on his door step."

"Yeah I guess he should have kept a better eye on the weakling." The vampire holding Y/N said and a flood of anger filled Y/N just as the vampire sank his fangs into the boy's neck when there was a sudden burning. The vampire let the boy go pushing roughly as he screamed and Y/N watch the vampire burst into flames.

"What do you do to my friend brat." Vampire two growled grabbing Y/N by his throat and the boy growled deeply as his eyes flashed red. The anger of years being ignored and loneliness was let loose as Y/N tore the heart from the vampire's chest. As things calmed down Y/N was surprised and stared as his hands as happiness bubbled in his chest as he realized he wasn't useless and maybe his family would care for him again.

"Dad! Mom!" Y/N shouted running into the compound with a grin that fell as he noticed he could hear everything but his family. Y/N found they left him so he made up his mind grabbing a bigger backpack his packed his things and didn't bother to leave a note.

"Fine I'll leave and get stronger without them if they don't want me then fine." Y/N growled as he left his childhood home not looking back. Two months, it took two months for someone in the family to notice that Y/N wasn't around but they brushed it off as the human boy was with Marcel but no he was in the mountains of Montana with an older man that Y/N ran into his week away from home. The man whose name was Alias, was an Hellhound that was almost as old as the boy's family and Alias took the boy in trained him to control his hound form and hellfire which when Y/N learned he could do that the boy was excited.

"Calm yourself pup." Alias told him as he had the boy sit in front of a fire the first day of training. At first Alias was annoyed with Y/N at first but the boy grew on him and the older Hellhound became a father figure to Y/N.

"Hey Al why are in the mountains?" Y/N asked following the man.

"Going to train you in the cold so you could control molten lava veins. From there we are going to wake your full potential, pup."

"Why the cold?"

"Can't risk you burning yourself until you get control." Alias tells Y/N as they came up to a cabin. While in New Orleans Hope and Freya was trying to find the older twin with a locater spell but so far they came up with nothing.

"Where could he be Elijah?" Klaus growled pacing angry that his first born was gone. Elijah watched Klaus closely while Kol called Davina to come help.

"I understand you are upset Niklaus but we will find the boy." Elijah said as Hayley came in crossing her arms.

"The wolves lost his scent just out of the city." Hayley said getting everyone's attention as they hoped they could find the boy soon. A year passed and Y/N had unlocked his full potential and had bested Alias many times in training. But sadly the boy's father figure had passed and Alias had passed his family Crest to the boy asking him to spead his ashes in New Orleans.

"Don't worry about me, pup. You'll fine as you are strong." Alias told Y/N the night he passed as their foreheads touched and in his honor Y/N howled and swore he hear othe Hellhounds howled too. Y/N walked though the streets of New Orleans carrying the urn holding Alias's ashes while on his way home Y/N had ran into other Hellhounds apologize for his lost and if he needed anything they were happy to help.

"Y/N?" Y/N heard Hope's voice and he turned saw his sister who shocked to see him. Y/N was no long thin and kinda scrawny, he was now lean with muscles with five a clock shadow on his nice jaw line.

"Hope." Y/N said his tone not welcoming surprising Hope as she eyes looked at the urn in his arms. Someone called out for Hope making her turn to see who it was then looked back to find Y/N gone and pulled out her phone calling Hayley.

"Mom, I found Y/N."

"May you find peace dad." Y/N said speading Alias's ashes in the bayou at a cabin the old hound had and left to Y/N.

"Here I thought I was your father?" Klaus said smirking stepping out from the tree line and Y/N looked over his shoulder seeing his father.

"You stopped being my father when I turned six." Y/N said looking back out at the lake as Klaus frowned watching his son. There was something was different about his son and Klaus couldn't put his finger on it but he was going to find out. Y/N was annoyed that suddenly his family would come out to see him while just shut them out and they still didn't know he was a Hellhound.

"How you have fallen hybrid. Your son hates you and now your dau ......." the vampire was cut off by a huge black hound jumped on his chest growling as it tore his thoat out. The hound had glowing orange eyes as it growled killing the rest of the vampires saving Hope and Klaus.

"Is it a wolf, dad?" Hope asked watching the hound look back at them as something about it was haunting.

"No. It is bigger than a wolf." Klaus said as it ran off and both followed it to find it was Y/N come morning.

"Fuck." Y/N muttered rolling his sore shoulders as he still wasn't used to shifting at night going inside to take a cold shower to cool down. Y/N sat down studying a few old books he gotten on his travels as his door opened and Klaus walked in with Elijah and Hayley following.

"Yes please come in Klaus." Y/N said annoyed not looking up from his book.

"You have failed to me you are a Hellhound."

"Because it was none of your business. I made it clear I want nothing to do with any of you."

"Then why come home?"

"If you must know Hayley, I am carrying after my father as protector." Y/N told Hayley there was anger in his voice as Elijah saw the anger in the young Hellhound's eyes that reminded the older Original of Klaus.

"Protector?"

"Yeah, now If you excuse me I got work to do." Y/N said walking out leaving them as they realize they had years of anger and loneliness to undo from the young man unsure if Y/N will ever forgive the family.

#the originals x reader #Mikaelsons x male!reader #Klaus mikaelson x son!reader #Hope Mikaelson x brother!Reader

472 notes · View notes

bruhstories · 3 years

Text

Personal Demon

Summary: Because of a mistake, you're assigned a devil instead of an angel. Pairing: Demon!Eren Jaeger x Fem!Reader Warnings & Conent: oh boy, here we go - language, mentions of suicide, mentions of self harm, mentions of rape, fingering, unprotexted sex, alcohol consumption, mentions of drug abuse, mentions of reader in an asylum, sliiiiight dumbification of reader, slight corruption of reader, Eren's a little shit Word Count: 3.9 k

A/N: So I wrote this in, like, 3-4 days because I felt like it's pretty bad but not bad enough not to post it. I hope you still enjoy it, though!

You always felt it — breathing in your nape, moving in the corner of your room at night, whispering things you shouldn't dare think about. Your own personal demon. Most of the time you did a good job at ignoring it. Most of the time you abused substances to make it go away, at least for a minute. With the puff of weed or a bottle of alcohol, it stayed away, only watching from afar and never involving itself with you. Most of the time.

Keys clung in your hands, door shutting behind as you walked into your apartment, fingers wrapped around your grocery bags. Yet another night of drinking the voice away.

"Not today, Satan." You hummed, popping open a bottle of gin, nose scrunching at the bitter taste.

"I keep telling you, the easiest way to get rid of me would be to kill yourself." It spoke, this time outside of your head.

"And I keep telling you to stay the fuck away from me." You growled back.

"We both know that's not possible."

Another sip and you put the bottle down, hands digging inside the bag for a snack.

"You're gonna need something stronger than that."

There it was, the bar of chocolate you so eagerly starved for. The TV suddenly turned on. It was craving entertainment.

"Anything unusual happened today?"

No, it was craving attention and you were not about to give it any. You put the groceries inside the fridge and grabbed the bottle, plopping on the couch.

"How long are you going to pretend I'm not here?"

"As long as I need." You snapped back, eyes glued to the TV.

"Well, that didn't last long." It laughed. "Come on, Y/N, we've been together for, what, 24 years?"

"Can you just shut up? Disappear? Crawl back to Hell?"

"Nope. Waaaaait, I know why you've got your panties in a twist. It's because that Jean guy you like hooked up with Mikasa, right?"

It was impossible to deal with. Every single second, it was there. Since you've been born, it was there, always watching, always following you, always. You tried to go to a priest, a monk, anything, but nothing helped. The angel that was supposed to guide you happened to be a demon and there was nothing you could do about it. But you were not going to give it the satisfaction of ending your pathetic life, no matter how much you wanted to, because despite being a demon, it still had to keep you alive until your time came. It, however, did like to push you over the edge, push you until you grabbed a knife and slit your wrists, only for the knife to get shoved by some invisible force before you could finish the job. It tormented you and it loved it.

"I told you, not today, Satan."

"Ugh, my name's-"

"I don't care." Your head snapped into the direction of the voice, only to be met with a wall. "Let's face it, we shouldn't have been in this situation, so why don't you shut your mouth up and let me get on with my life?"

"What life?" It laughed and you could already picture the sneer on its face, flashing you fangs and a forked tongue. "That's not even what I look like."

"Get out of my head!" You screamed before grabbing the bottle and emptying half of its contents.

"Careful, Y/N, the neighbours might call the police and you don't want to end up like last time, do you?"

Last time... you were but a child, throwing plates at the wall only to make it stop talking when your parents admitted you to an asylum. You had to live with it for half a year before they let you out.

"Please, please stay out of my head." Tears pooled at your eyes as you clutched the bottle at your chest.

"Now why would I stay out when it's just so much fun in you?"

"God, I hate you so much!"

"Me or beardy up there? I couldn't quite get it." It laughed again, laughing at your damn misery as you got up from the couch and left the apartment.

The alcohol already made its way to your brain when you reached the ground floor of the building. Rain poured outside but you didn't care, you just ran as far away from it as possible and for the first time in years, it didn't follow you. Grateful and content, you slowed down, admiring the beauty of the city which you ignored because of the voice inside of your head. The smell of rain, the colourful buildings, the empty streets, everything felt new and refreshing, and you took it all in. Time seemed to slow down without itconstantly nagging in the back of your mind and you realised you were pretty far away from your home, an area unknown to you. Still, you knew how to get back, you hoped, but when you turned around, a man pushed you into an alleyway.

"Satan?" You whispered, dizzy from the lingering gin and smell of rain. The man pinned you to a wall and finally you were beginning to realise what was happening.

"Call me whatever you want, baby, just keep that pretty voice down." His hand moved up your thigh and panic seeped through your veins. "We don't want to draw any attention, now, do we?" He kissed your neck and you froze on the spot, eyes widening in fear and body shivering.

"L-let go of me!" You managed, the alcohol numbing your arms, rendering you unable to push the stranger away.

"Shhh, don't fight it." The man squeezed your arms, his fingers bruising the soft skin. Anger, sadness and pain coiled together in your chest and you couldn't breathe anymore. Oh, how you wished you never left your flat, how you wished you stayed back and listened to itconstantly yapping, like a maggot crawling into your brain. "Aren't you a pretty one?" He cooed, his hand travelling lower, lower, to the point where tears started rolling down your cheeks, mixing with the snot and rain on your face.

And then it happened — in the blink of an eye, your assailant was thrown against the other wall by the too familiar invisible force as you sank to the ground, eyes puffy and red, legs trembling.

"The fuck? What are you?" The man hissed at you, his hands holding his abdomen.

"I'm the devil." It spoke, voice inhuman and perilous, and you could only sneer at him. For the first time you were happy it was there. Sick, twisted thoughts invaded your mind and you wanted to watch him suffer, and itknew. It knew, because the devil was always in your head.

"You crazy bitch!" The assailant, now helpless and overpowered, did not know about your own personal demon, and he tried to get up, tried to leap forward at you and strangle the last bit of air out of your lungs, but he couldn't. Somethingwas holding him back.

"You want him dead?" It asked, but you know the devil took more pleasure in inflicting pain rather than swiftly killing.

"No." You grinned, eyes dark and dangerous. "I want him to suffer."

"That's my girl."

Blood-curling screams echoed in the alleyway. You didn't know what it was doing to him, but you knew for a fact that you were enjoying the sounds that came out of your attacker. His wrists contorted in a way you didn't think was possible, and the melody of broken bones reminded you that what was happening was wrong. For a moment, your brain was rational, telling you that it should stop, that you should both just leave and forget this ever happened. But... it also felt good, it felt like you've just been reborn, discovering a deeply buried part of you that ached to be exposed. Then, his legs twisted and the man winced in pain, so much pain, and your heart fluttered in your chest.

"More?" It asked and you nodded.

"More."

His arms looped, like a deformed puppet loosely strung, and it made him dance in the rain until his body gave up from fatigue.

"Aw, I was really hoping he'd be a feisty one." It mused, and you also clicked your tongue in disappointment. Before you left, you gave your assailant a good kick in the stomach, your boot stomping on his face with so much anger and force that what remained was unrecognisable.

Wet clothes piled on the floor, you wrapped your naked body in a blanket to warm yourself up. What just happened? What did you do? Why did you allow it to happen and more importantly, why did you love every minute of it? The questions jogged in your fuzzy brain, as you slowly sobered up.

"Why did I enjoy it, Satan?" You asked, lips quivering.

"I told you, my name's not Satan, it's-"

"Eren, I know. I remember." You could feel it quirk a brow, surprised and impressed by its name rolling down your tongue so naturally. "Why did I enjoy it? It's wrong and disgusting."

"Do you remember what happens when you say my name?" It sounded almost concerned.

"You physically manifest, I know. Now answer my fuckingquestion."

"What do you want me to say?" Itasked, fragments of muscle, skin and silk pulling together from thin air. First, its legs. Then, its upper body, draped in a charcoal-black robe. "That you're as sadistic as I am? Maybe it wasn't a mistake that you have a demon, not an angel." And finally, its face materialised in front of you — long dark brown hair falling down his shoulders and eyes so green, it felt like a forest was in them. It looked almost human, the hooked nose, the elongated ears, the deeply sunken emeralds and jagged mouth betraying its true nature.

"I thought you'd have fangs." Was your only response at the scene unfolding in front of you, blanket clutched at your chest. Any normal person would shudder at the demonic sight of Eren appearing in front of them, but to you, it felt comforting to finally assign a face to the voice you so desperately tried to ignore.

"And I thought you wanted to get rid of me." It scoffed, its facial features changing, becoming softer and resembling a human man, but those eyes didn't change an ounce.

"I don't know what I want anymore. If it weren't for you, I would've been raped and dead, probably."

"Just embrace it, Y/N. Just let go of that annoying voice in your head that tells you it's wrong." He encouraged. "There's no such thing as good or bad, right or wrong. It's just surviving, adapting or dying."

Eren looked unbelievably human and incredibly handsome in the dim light of your living room lamp. Maybe it was the alcohol that hasn't left your body yet, or maybe it was the fact that he saved you, again, but the truth was that the devil in your house was making you feel something you couldn't even feel for Jean — and you thought you were in love with Jean.

"Alright, let's pretend for a moment that I give into temptation." Your eyes found his and you felt hypnotised, the rational part of your brain slowly overshadowed by your instincts and feelings. "What then? Do you leave me alone? Do you go back to hell? Do Igo to hell?"

"Oh, I wouldn't call it hell. More like a demonic paradise." He shrugged, eyes bored and blank, devout of any emotion. You leaned forward trying to search for something in his darkened orbs.

"Why are you being nice to me? You're supposed to save me from death, not rape."

He clicked his tongue, your question drilling into his brain, repeating itself over and over again. Why did he save you? It's not like he cared, he only did his job, right? Right?

Wrong.

The demon you grew up with, the demon who tormented you, the demon who tried so desperately to ruin your life did, in fact, give two shits about you and your pathetic existence. Just not in the way you thought.

"Let's just say no one gets to touch you but me." Eren closed the gap between you two, his nose almost grazing over yours. He was absolutely intoxicating and you always fought with the constant need to let him control you. After all, he was always with you, he saw you hit your lowest points, he saw the best of you, he saw your naked body, he saw everything, ergo you were his. Your head quickly turned to the side before you leaned back, exhaustion written all over your face as Eren clicked his tongue. The thing about demons was that they couldn't physically interfere without their human's consent, only using invisible force to stop you from dying and he was just so close.

"Ah, but you can't touch me, though." You trailed off, brow quirked at his narrowed eyes. You've done your homework, you knew what he needed, but still, that side of you tried to prevail over the side that craved his touch.

"Yet." Eren snapped back before your drifted to sleep.

Once again you dreamt of it him, his cock buried deep inside your needy cunt as you screamed his name over and over again while you came undone. When you jolted up from your sleep, he was there, watching you, like a predator stalking its prey. Normally he wouldn't be there, but since you called his name, Eren was glaring down at your helpless body, famished for something only you could give him.

"What's the time?" You groaned, fingers rubbing your eyelids.

"Three in the morning." He answered, eyes glued to you. "Bad dream?" The demon sneered. You knew he'd been in your head again, you knew those dreams existed for a reason.

"They wouldn't be bad if you'd just stay the fuck out of my mind." You hummed with a fake smile.

"Alright then, look me in the eye and tell me, reallytell me you want me to leave you alone." But you couldn't and he knew it. "Stop fighting it, Y/N. For two decades you kept trying. Maybe you should stop being stubborn and just give in." Eren shrugged, his voice tempting and you only wondered if that's how Eve felt when the snake tempted her. You weren't a Christian by any means, but you knew the story well enough to figure out the consequences.

"I have work tomorrow. Please let me sleep." You got up from the couch, blanket wrapped around your shoulders.

And that's when Eren reached his limits. He followed you into your bedroom, something knocking the wind out of you as you fell on the mattress. Somethingpulling the blanket off of you. Somethingtravelling down your arms, goosebumps dotting your skin as he stood in the doorway.

"I can't touch you, but I can do so many things to you." He inched closer, his figure imposing and dangerous and you could feel your core burning. "I can smell your arousal, Y/N. I know you want it. You just have to say it." Eren demanded and you hated that he was right. Slowly but surely, the battle in your heart and mind was coming to an end the more he got closer to the bed. "Say it."

You whined and writhed in pain and pleasure, and in the blink of an eye your life flashed before your eyes as you came to the conclusion that you've tried so hard to stay away from the demon, but either he was too persistent, or you were too weak. Or you just simply wanted him to ravage you and you were okay with that. Your hands stopped moving, your body stopped fighting.

"Do it..." You half-begged, judgement clouded, vision blurry. "Please, do it! Touch me, break me, fuck me, please! I need you, need to feel you..."

Like some sort of spell had just been lifted, Eren felt relieved. The sight of your sprawled body, combined with the lustful look in your lidded eyes only fed his hunger and he was famished. Calloused fingertips grazed over your knees, up your thighs, sending chills down your spine as you arched your back, pulling the demon closer to your face.

"Kiss me?" You asked, voice sweet and needy and he crushed his lips onto yours. They were surprisingly soft, tasting of whiskey and honey and the flavour lingered on your lips after he pulled away. Your body quivered under his touch, yearning for more, hands tugging at his silken robe to expose the chiselled chest. Eren pressed his forehead onto yours, hot breath tickling your cheeks.

"I'm going to ruin you, Y/N." He dug his teeth into your shoulder, the imprint burning into your skin, all the pent-up frustration slowly being released with each movement. He dragged one hand over your breasts before settling on one nipple, fingers pinching it to earn a reaction out of you. A whimper escaped from your lips as you pushed your chest upwards, wanting him closer than the laws of physics would allow. Your slender hands tangled in his locks as Eren left a trail of purple marks and bites all over your neck and shoulder.

"Fill me up, please..."

"Patience." He mused. "I've waited so many years for this, you can wait a few more minutes." Head buried between your tits, his hand travelled lower until it found your wet cunt. Fingers grazed over your folds before he drove his index into your soaked pussy and that's when you knew just how much you craved him. Your silken walls clenched around his curled-up finger and your neediness made him add another one, moans drilling through his eardrums, into his brain. "Fuck, you're so wet..." Eren hummed, vibrations tickling your skin. You couldn't form a coherent sentence even if your life counted on it. All you could think about was that if his fingers stretched you, his cock would tear your cunt apart — and you reallywanted to feel that. Fingernails dug into his back and he hissed, his tongue flicking your nipple and all the build-up was too much for you.

"Eren, please..." You mewled, your chest rising and falling with each breath, with each touch, each lick.

"You want me to fuck you? Want me to tear you apart?" The demon growled. His sudden change in tone only further added fuel to the fire inside your core and you eagerly nodded.

"Yes, God — yes! But Eren, I want to see you, not this pretty face you put on." You pleaded, eyes teary and demanding.

"No." He simply answered and that instantly made you jolt up, forcefully pushing him off of you.

"Are you trying to screw with my mind again? You've literally been with me for 24 years!" You shouted, and even Eren was slightly confused. "You tormented me for two decades, put me in an asylum, constantly stopped me from killing myself and now I can't even see the real you?" You threw your hands at him and he caught your wrists with ease. "You owe me at least that, Satan." Tears freely rolled down your face and you could feel his hot tongue lick the salty drops from your cheek. Your pain was his pleasure, he was a demon after all, the embodiment of all evil, but he decided you were corruptedenough to at least see his true colours, which you only managed to glance at.

"You're right, Y/N," Eren kissed your forehead and you couldn't even notice the manipulative hints in his voice, "you deserve at least this." He pulled back, and slowly his face distorted, allowing you to look at his disfigured mouth, elongated ears and abnormally long tongue.

"Thank you, thank you!" You beamed with bright eyes.

The woman who battled her demon? Gone.

In her place stood only a shell of a person, whose sole purpose was to get fucked by the demon in front of her. You feverishly parted his lips with your tongue, touch-starved and desperate, and Eren threw you onto the bed, robe pooled on the floor. And you were right, his cock wouldtear you apart by the looks of it. Before he could do anything, you spread your legs for him, like a good little slut, mouth agape and nothing but lust in your eyes. The sneer on his face was unlike anything you've seen before, and it both terrified and aroused you.

"Eager to please, aren't you?" He climbed onto the bed, the velvety tip of his cock barely touching your wet slit.

"I'm begging you, Eren, please fuck me!"

The demon scoffed at your pathetic words, but he couldn't deny how much he loved to hear your needy voice. You wouldn't have to know that, of course. He ever so slowly pushed the tip in between your folds, your cunt greedily taking it all in while you whimpered at the foreign sensation.

"Shhh," Eren cooed at you mockingly, "you love it, don't you?"

"Y-yes, please, d-deeper..."

Was it really you speaking or was this another one of his demonic tricks? And more importantly, did it even matter that he made you say those things when his cock felt just so good inside of you? Your legs wrapped around his waist, pulling him closer to you as Eren thrusts became harder. Your tits bounced with every move, pleasure engulfing both of you and you never knew demons fucked so raw.

"Fuck, you're so tight." He hissed into your ear, the compliment only making you clench your walls around his impossibly hard cock. "Such a good girl." Eren praised you, knowing perfectly well how much you lacked appreciation from your parents, knowing perfectly well how your childhood traumas and frustration only aided him. He was your demon, after all. When your only response was to roll your eyes at the back of your head like a possessed woman, Eren picked up the pace, his abnormal tongue licking at your collarbone.

"D-do you l-like it?" You asked, concerned that he might not be satisfied with you. He wouldn't be fucking you so hard if he didn't, but you were so brainwashed that nothing made sense anymore.

"I do, doll, now be a good whore and rub that clit, will you?" The demon urged and with a shaky hand you complied, the friction mixed with his thrusts sending you into a frenzy. You were close and he knew it.

"Oh, f-fuck! Eren!"

His cock hit that sweet spot and you were done for, your legs loosened around his waist, falling onto the bed, but he kept on fucking you.

"My turn." Eren growled, his hands lifting your hips like you were some sort of ragdoll between his fingers. Your vision blurred, every word you tried to utter lost in your throat the more he buried himself into you, yet somehow you still managed to clench your walls. With one final thrust you felt him spill his hot seed, cum dripping out of your sore cunt as he pulled out.

Eren plopped next to you and you curled up in a ball, head on his chest. You were craving his attention, his care, but he responded by bringing his hands behind his head, eyes staring blankly at the ceiling. He wanted to hold you tightly, he wanted to pet your head, but he couldn’t. And you were alright with that, because you knew that, no matter what, you would always have your own personal demon at your side.

#eren jaeger #eren smut #eren x reader #eren jaeger x reader #eren yaeger x reader #eren jaeger smut #eren yaeger smut #aot #aot x reader #aot smut #attack on titan #snk #snk x reader #snk smut #shingeki no kyoujin

350 notes · View notes

teamfreewill56-blog · 2 years

Note

Do you think if circumstances were different, like if Rengoku and Akaza met in a world without demons, would they be friends?

So I'm going to answer this based off the assumption that you mean Kyōjurō Rengoku, not one of the Rengoku ancestors that would have been alive during Akaza's human life and that the only thing that changes in the universe is there's no demons.

Also, spoilers for Akaza's past ya'll.

If you mean Akaza as in the Akaza Kyojuro meets in Mugen Train but as a human, no I don't think so. Akaza, demon or not has a mindset that Kyojuro absolutely cannot stand and while it would be entertaining to see how Kyojuro has to deal with that in a human, it would still be really bad. Kyojuro probably doesn't know how to deal with a human who strikes his nerves the way that Akaza does and while Kyojuro probably wouldn't call him a rival he would probably admit to not liking him or trusting him.

However, Hakuji I think he would be able to befriend. Depending on when in Hakuji's life he would meet Kyojuro, for me that would determine how long it takes for them to become friends/what obstacles they would run into before being able to become friends. I could see him making friends with Kyojuro before meeting Keizo or around that time without too much trouble but if it's after Keizo and Kayuki's deaths I don't think he could. Brutally slaughtering an entire dojo even if they poisoned your future wife and future father-in-law is still a serious issue for Kyojuro and not okay by any means.

So, the reasons why this could work as a friendship. They both had a sick parent that they cared for but then also lost that parent, this would make it very easy to empathize with each other. It could also create an opportunity for them to kind of force each other to deal with the grief, anger, etc that came with their parent's death (Hakuji being overwhelmed by his feelings and Kyojuro pretending they aren't there). I'm pretty sure Hakuji would one way or another make Kyojuro confront that stuff and it would be much harder for Kyojuro enable his avoidance because Hakuji will pester him and Kyojuro can't ignore that Hakuji knows what that feels like.

On the flip side Kyojuro is very good at creating a safe emotional space for others so even if Hakuji didn't talk to Kyojuro about what he was feeling or thinking he could probably go through a grief process of letting himself cry/release anger etc without having to worry about Kyojuro freaking out or being upset at him for it. And naturally Kyojuro would never speak a word of Hakuji crying etc to anyone. They also have that shared mindset of "I want to protect my loved ones/protect others. I want to get stronger to protect others" and for both of them this was instilled early in their lives so I could see them bonding over that and using it as a shared motivation and drive.

I would be very curious to see what Hakuji would do with Senjuro, he was never around kids so much younger than him that we see so that might be a tad awkward for him.

Also, two traits I could see them struggling a lot with in their friendship is Kyojuro's self-sacrificing and Hakuji's rage, particularly since they are both stubborn. I don't know if either of them would be able to address that without getting irritated with each other or starting an argument so they would probably need someone else's support in those areas.

I hope this helps!

#anon asks #this took such a long time to write lol #hope its helpful #meta #set your heart ablaze #flame pillar #flame hashira #rengoku kyōjurō #kyojuro rengoku #demon slayer mugen train #kny akaza #hakuji #could they have been friends?#it would be a cute friendship but also their enemies would be so screwed heavens

22 notes · View notes

aphrodite-would-be-proud · 3 years

Text

Anon said: I hope I'm not too late to slip in a request! I was actually hoping for a more platonic request with Miche? Just how he would help out a new cadet on his squad or something... Maybe there having a hard time fitting in now that there on a section commander squad or even worried about an upcoming expedition. Miche is one of my biggest comfort Characters and I'm such a shy person lol...I love you blog by the way, it's such a comforting place...🥺

Miche reassuring you that you're enough.

{Miche & reader | tw:none | platonic, comfort | canonverse}

{ "The Interior of the Palm House on the Pfaueninsel Near Potsdam" 1834 by Carl Blechen 1798 - 1840 }

No one can deny that the survey corps had a...certain reputation between the people, for being ruthless, unhinged and not a place for someone hoping for a future.

Their leader is known for gambling with human lives, their strongest has a criminal history record and their most intelligent, does experiments that would put medical student dropout Frankenstein himself to shame.

In short, you'd be crazy for walking there with your own two feet and expecting a crumb of compassion.

You don't go looking for fish in the desert.

You've heard it all, those sayings people keep reciting like a broken record whenever you'd bring up joining the survey corps.

"You'll just end up titan food"

"Why do you want to throw away your life?"

"God your poor family…"

And despite all of that, you still marched on, despite everyone who told you to quit.

Not only did you join and stayed alive for so long, you've even managed to climb the ranks in record time.

So fast in fact that you were assigned to join a section commander's squad after a very successful titan capture mission that earned you a pat on the back from Erwin.

Being pulled from your friends and moved to a new place where you were surrounded by veterans who've been in their positions for 10 years or more, was quite sudden and shocking.

One thing that should've eased your nerves, was the fact it was squad Miche you're being put into.

Anyone in the survey corps can tell you that in comparison to other squads, this was the most...friendly per say, since they prioritised teamwork and coming back alive over everything else, knowing together they're much stronger and willing to protect each other no matter what.

While yes they did have their quirks, it was almost nothing in comparison to Levi's strict hygiene rules and Hange's workaholic routine or Erwin's unreadable intentions.

And yet, you felt unease at the whole situation.

You were clearly "that new cadet" in this old group of close-knit people, almost standing out even.

You wanted to prove yourself, you've done it before to all those people so why is it any different now.

Maybe...because they are actually experienced soldiers this time, and not strangers living in blissful ignorance inside the walls.

Maybe because you feel the growing burden of expectations set on you for being the newest person in the squad, and being put there by none other than the commander himself which would raise some eyebrows if you couldn't deliver.

Uncertainty and doubt began pooling up inside your mind, making you second guess decisions and overthink actions.

And it's not like the squad members were leaving you out, no in fact they were doing their best to include you.

….maybe even too much actually, it didn't help that all of them were outgoing people, it was overwhelming.

Nanaba was an unofficial stand in caption when Miche wasn't around. Having a confident yet compassionate personality made her protective of her teammates, almost like a big sister, earning her a lot of respect.

So much in fact that it would unintentionally intimidate people out of approaching her

Gelgar was a strong believer in Miche, loyal to a fault almost. Yet he wouldn't say no for a chance to relax and grab a couple drinks, being friends with so many people came naturally to him with his mellow personality and overall friendliness.

Maybe a bit much too friendly? That personal boundaries were often crossed without him realising it.

Lynne was a good balance between the two, she was considerate of others feelings...even so much in fact that she tended to sugar-coat almost everything.

Thomas and Henning were close with each other, both serious and determined. But maybe because they were so used to each other that dealing with new people became...strange, for conversations with them resembled an awkward dad attempting to check on you but not actually putting much effort to understand.

Meanwhile, you were a reserved and shy person.

It was a miracle that you managed to get a group of friends in cadet training that stayed with you throughout the years, but now after being transferred it was all turned to dust.

You have to start again, meet people again and talk to them while wondering if they actually like you or are pretending to be nice because they don't wanna come off as rude-

On top of that, Erwin seemed to keep an eye on you after your last mission, silently conveying the trust and expectations he's putting your way, to not fail him and show you're worthy of this special treatment.

It was too much, too overwhelming and draining.

Dread and uncertainty loomed in the corners of your mind, only metastating in size as the date for the new expedition was announced.

To add fuel to the fire, apparently everyone seemed almost...excited or nonchalant for going out there again, like this is a mere walk in the park as they began making preparations and training.

Were you the only one that felt nervous? Oh god.

Your legs felt like they were weighted down by stones as you stared at the large board in front of you, a white sheet signed by the commander announcing next week to be the date of the expedition, several names listed below for who'd be required for service.

Your name was at the top, even with a line underneath it. The fact it was in cursive didn't make it any less gut-wrenching.

The chatter of people around you, discussing the plans and joking with each other, began blurring out at the back of your mind.

The weather seemed colder as shivers ran down your neck. A rolling feeling in your stomach making your throat tighten, your own voice inside your head was the only noise you could hear.

All those thoughts and worries creeping from underneath the dark corners that you've been pushing them into all this time, like a swarm drowning you in their "what if" and skepticism, full of doubt and illogical pessimism for worst case scenarios.

Thoughts that aren't even your own joined them, ones you never had and knew weren't true and yet amidst the storm it was hard to tell the real from the ones passing through.

You know you're capable, so why…

Are you capable?

Yes…

but are you really?

...

And how are you even sure?

Before it could pull you deeper into that hole of despair, something snapped your attention back to reality, a hand nudging your shoulder.

"You really didn't hear me huh." The voice came from behind you, a tall figure stepping closer till you were in his shadow.

Miche looked at you with a tilted head, his lips pressed into a thin line as his eyes bore into you like he's attempting to guess what's going inside your brain.

You've been too lost inside your mind you didn't notice that you were the only one left standing in front of the board.

From the way Miche's shoulders fell after reading your expression, eyes softening after glancing at your name on the sheet, he was quick to catch on.

Before you could say something to save your face after being caught in this state by none other than your new captain, Miche just told you to come with him, making sure to walk beside you، protectively staying close that no one on your way would interrupt.

Passing the corridor leading to his office, you gave him an uncertain glance as he simply gestured for you to continue walking for whatever unknown place you're headed to.

Soon enough the buildings and stone streets faded the further you went on, grass and dirt roads taking its place.

It wasn't a long walk per say, but more of a secluded area that took both of you some turns in seemingly shady alleyways to reach.

You couldn't hear the horses or soldiers walking anymore, only the soft flowing of the nearby river.

The tall grass barely reaching below your knees, some ladybugs crawling on top of the scattered daffodils in-between, the closer to the river cliff you got the taller it became.

The first thing Miche did, wasn't explaining to you why you're here, or what exactly he was after.

No, he barely said a word even, only taking in a deep breath as the wind had the courtesy of pushing his bangs back, eyes finally in clear view now.

Gaze meeting yours, he gave you a nod, a gesture to do the same thing.

You reluctantly took a deep breath.

He smiled.

Both of you sat by the river, he gave you his jacket to sit on.

As the silence grew between you, even while it wasn't the uncomfortable kind, it was clear he was struggling to phrase something, the right words just not coming to mind.

Turning his body towards you, he finally said, "how about i just..listen, let it out.".

It wasn't easy, you can't just pour out your heart to your superior.

Not to mention the military wasn't a place for weakness, could you really openly admit to your worries?

Well, yes you could, because it isn't weak, it takes great strength to face something scary and admit to it.

It's strength that got you this far.

How could you ever mistake vulnerability for weakness?

Keeping true to his words, Miche didn't interrupt you as you slowly opened up about what's been troubling you.

He patiently listened, occasionally humming for you to go on whenever you'd lose track.

And by the end of it, after you poured out all your frustration, sadness and worries, it felt...like a weight lifted off your shoulders.

Miche looked at you with understanding in his eyes, as if he himself has been in this exact same position years ago.

...and maybe he was, considering his behaviour wasn't what's socially common, he would've definitely stood out back before he had the respect of being a captain.

He isn't a man of words, for actions spoke much louder.

That's why he became more attentive from that day on, offering to help you train, giving you a smile whenever you passed by and sitting near you whenever his squad were gathered so he'd ask for your opinion on plans or simply share looks whenever they began joking with each other.

He didn't attempt to make you change, instead he made changes to accommodate you.

You're part of the team and he made it clear.

And while he couldn't give reassuring words, he certainly gave his time and energy, paying attention to you, reading your moods and listening whenever life becomes too much.

Maybe he saw his past self in you, and wanted to give you all the comfort, attention and care he wished for back then.

Even if it was mere hugs and shoulder pats that he could offer, he knew small things can make changes overtime.

For him, it's not getting rid of your stress that he was attempting to achieve, no, for life is full of stress.

Instead, he wanted to offer you ways to deal with the stress, to acknowledge it as it is and be heard, to be understood.

Because while stress will pass either way, it didn't mean it had to pass painfully.

You weren't alone, he made sure of that.

Maybe he got too attached, maybe someone might say he's giving you special treatment, maybe Erwin would give him a backhanded comment every now and then.

But since when did Miche pay attention to these things?

Well...he can't deny he might be giving you more break days than the other Cadets, larger food portions and even most of his time.

But he won't justify himself to anyone either, he doesn't have to.

Because after all, there really isn't any ulterior motives behind his actions, they were as simple as they came.

It was pure genuine care, the type that makes someone want to protect a person and watch them grow healthy.

The type that made him offer you a thumbs up after each training session, a proud smile on his face for how much you're learning.

Maybe some slight teasing about how if you keep this up, you might even replace him as the second strongest one day.

And while he said it with a joking tone, the hopeful pride-filled look on his face told a whole nother story.

you're not sure if it was a joke or a promise.

133 notes · View notes

fqirycollective · 2 years

Text

Nonhuman Alters: Our Experience

tw// dehumanizing trauma examples

What is a nonhuman alter?

Exactly as it sounds, a nonhuman alter is an alter who isn't human. This can be anything. Common ones are demons, angels, demigods, humanoids, stuffed animals, and personifications. (I'm adding this here because I want to give credit but I don't know how long this post will be. This is inspired by The Axolotl Collective's post on nonhumans on Instagram. We tried to add our experience in the comments but it came off scattered because I couldn't organize it and there was in general just a lot.)

Why would an alter that isn't human form?

There are many different reasons. However, the most common one is being treated as not human during abuse. This could be being used as furniture, being used as enertainment while being abused, being treated as an animal who has to do certain tasks that that animal would, etc. For example, if being told to do a task only animals would do, you may form a nonhuman alter of that animal to do it instead.

Pulling on the same quote Axolotl did, "When a child is still young enough to first develop alters, they do not have a firm grasp of what is or is not possible, so they — and, by extension, the alters that are forming from their mind — might not understand that the entirety of themself is and always will be human. Once some alters have been formed as nonhumans, this sets a precident that allows splits later in life to take the same or similar forms because the brain understands how such a thing can be possible due to internal logic." This means that if a child is treated as nonhuman, they may believe they actually aren't human. They haven't grasped onto the idea that they will always be human, so being treated as not human can heavily push them in the opposite direction. The quote is found from https://did-research.org/did/alters/non-human.

This is also trauma based, but they can form because your brain sees their species as a better fit for a job than a human would be. The website above gives a few examples, but I'll add our experience as well. Basically, the trauma that caused our system was something where we couldn't defend ourselves. Demons are typically physically and mentally stronger than humans are, so naturally we believed (and some of us still believe) that demons could fight back and protect better than a human could. Another example of this is of an article Paris read while researching DID. The system had a bunny alter, due to trauma and pretending to be a bunny to help cope. Because pretending to be a bunny worked, their brain split a bunny alter. We also have many fairies and princesses because as a child, we believed "They wouldn't hurt a fairy or a princess the way they hurt me."

Introjects are a slightly different story. While they still form due to trauma, they can be the same species as their source. For example, we've split from My Little Pony as it was something that comforted us during times of trauma. Our introjects are still ponies in our system and they didn't form like that for any special reason beyond being ponies in source. This is also common for introjects of pets and stuffed animals, which often soothe kids during traumatic periods.

Can nonhuman alters front? Can they control the body as a human would?

This question varies system to system and alter to alter. So, I'll be speaking of my personal experience. I am a demigod from source, fairy from being a shapeshifter of sorts depending on the situation needed, and a cat at times to help regulate my own and others emotions. When in my demigod-fairy state, I appear human and have arms and fingers and all that. I can do human things. When I'm in my cat form, I can communicate through thoughts and innerworld technology (which works due to what I want to say coming from my thoughts). I can still walk, type, and act as a human. However, I drop things easier and in general act as a cat might personality wise. For other animal alters, they can't communicate through thoughts with most of us and their communication is instead through behaviors. We don't let them front often, and never alone. They could probably form words to speak but I couldn't be sure. Considering how I have a hard time holding stuff and I'm in my demigod-fairy form most the time, I don't think they'd be able to hold stuff properly. I can't be sure though.

#did system #osdd system #did alter #did osdd #dissociative system #osdd #osdd community #osdd support #osdd things #trauma #nonhuman #nonhuman alter

7 notes · View notes

crescairis · 3 years

Note

I was wondering if you had another source that otherlinkers were explicitly excluded from the original definition of otherkind in 1990? The source on AnOtherWiki leads to a 2001 FAQ that doesn't mention anything like that. Also, otherlinkers aren't the same thing as KFF.

(just as a warning, this is going to be a LONG post, but i'd rather not put it under the cut for archival reasons, in the case that for some reason this blog disappears)

firstly, i'd like to apologize for phrasing things as if KFFs and otherlinkers were the same thing; a better phrased way to say things would be for me to say that i think many KFFs would be otherlinkers, were they to acknowledge that their experiences don't fit the definition of otherkin.

something else i'd also like to note that i've been thinking about (while it isn't exactly related to this question) is that perhaps people are misinterpreting the terms "voluntary" and "involuntary".

i feel that many people think "voluntary" simply means the initial decision to willingly take on an identity, which is, in part, true! however, voluntary identities are very likely to become involuntary, simply because it becomes too emotionally/mentally difficult to separate oneself from the identity that they've chosen.

being drawn to something, or someone, enough to take it on as an identity can often be a sign of something deeper! i would see this as a form of awakening in and of itself—like cracking open a geode, or perhaps like putting on training wheels before you experience the real thing.

but back to your first question: the way i initially phrased that post was also rushed, as we were trying very hard to write it during a single lunch break at work.

the term otherlinker is a very recent invention (coined in 2018 on the alt-h discord server, while copinglink was coined in 2015 by who-is-page), as being otherkin has always largely been considered a serious, personal experience. only recently have people NEEDED to specify that it's involuntary, so the only sources i can give you are ones that cite otherkinity as being intended as a serious identity, as well as those that state that otherkinity is not as shallow as a game or roleplay.

also important to note is that many of these pages were made and existed before fictionkin were a largely documented (let alone accepted) presence, thus they are scarcely mentioned, (and typically with skepticism or even scorn,) save for on their own, smaller pages. for our own personal comfort, we will not be listing sources that discredit fictionkinity completely.

firstly, here's a full timeline of otherkin history by orion scribner, to show the scope we're looking at

Otherkin Lexicon by Orion Scribner: "Otherkin are real, non-fictional people who identify as other than human. Otherkin identify as creatures from myth and legend, usually elves, faeries, and dragons. This is a sincere identity, not role-play. Many otherkin identify as other than human for spiritual reasons; that is, they classify their identity as otherkin as a personal spiritual belief. Being otherkin is a very individualistic thing: each otherkin reaches his own explanation for how and why he is an otherkin. Some of their common spiritual explanations include that they are other than human in spirit, or they were other than human in past incarnations.187 Although spiritual belief is often involved, “otherkin” isn’t a religion. As such, each person who identifies as otherkin practices whatever religion he individually wants. It has always been the case that most of the otherkin community practices Neo-Pagan religions, and so that religious perspective shapes the common views and ideas in the otherkin community. Some otherkin don’t use spiritual explanations. Some otherkin believe that they are physically other than human, or that their ancestors were."

A Field Guide to Otherkin by Lupa: "The definition for Otherkin I will be using for this book is: a person who believes that, through either a nonphysical or (much more rarely) physical means, s/he is not entirely human. This means that anyone who relates internally to a nonhuman species either through soul, mind, body, or energetic resonance, or who believes s/he hosts such a being in hir body/mind, is in my own definition of Otherkin. Some people do have more stringent standards. However, for the purposes of this book, I am including a wider range of people.

"This is not a roleplaying game. When a person says s/he is a dragon, or a wolf, or an elf, s/he is not referring to a character that s/he only becomes during a gaming session. That which is Other is a constant part of the person; s/he is the Other at all times. Grey, a wolf therian,says it marvelously: “Perhaps I should say that if a being is a color, or a sound, I am two items merged to form a different color/sound. The two are within each other. Sometimes plain to see, sometimes deeply mixed.”"

A Simple Introduction to Otherkin and Therianthropes by Orion Scribner: "Some real people think of themselves as kinds of creatures from mythology. These people call themselves “otherkin.” An otherkin has the belief that he is a creature from mythology, such as an elf. He says that elf is his true self. It is his identity. This is real to him. It isn’t a pretend person that he plays in a game."

The Otherkin Resource Center: "1 : one who identifies with various mythological archetype as vehicles of spiritual evolution and self-expression, similar to Native totemism only with a stronger level of self-identification.

"2 : someone who believes in reincarnation, and that not all of their reincarnations were as a human."

What are Otherkin? by Tirl Windtree: "By far the most common explanation from those who fit the definition (even if they don't claim this specific label) is that whilst their physical forms may be human, their essence, soul or equivalent term is not.

"Of those, the majority make their claim based on reincarnation - what they have been in a previous incarnation so strongly affects their current incarnation that they still identify with it. Obviously this requires a belief in reincarnation, and in the transmigration of souls. Both are reasonably common in a number of religions and spiritual beliefs across the world."

"The most frequent accusation is that all otherkin are lost in fantasy, they've played one too many D&D games and gone over the edge. Personal study seems to indicate this is actually one of the least frequent explanations. Most roleplayers know they are roleplaying, even if they are also otherkin, and roleplaying can be a very useful tool in self exploration."

The Lostkin Project by Gazer: "Otherkin are the supernatural among us. They are the elves, dragons, nymphs, and trolls that used to live more openly amoung humankind. Some are from other dimensions and other places. You may occasionally see them refered to as Otherkind. Otherkin is the more generally accepted term."

Otherkin Coalition by Kreyas: "What is Otherkin?

In a nutshell, Otherkin are a coalition of people who share in common the belief that some internal part of them is somehow incongruent with the rest of the human race. Beyond that, beliefs vary too widely to classify them into any one group.

Some of the most common beliefs are that the soul is somehow different from human. This may go in hand with a belief in reincarnation and “imprinting” (in which a past life as another species leaves an imprint on the soul which is then carried over into the next life), or the individual may believe that this is his/her first life and they are simply different.

Above all, Otherkin is a spiritual belief.

"Are Otherkin really a bunch of delusional, socially maladaptive kids like I read on that website?

NO. As with any group, not everyone fits the stereotype. Any community is going to have its bad apples which stand out in people’s minds better than the typical members. In my experience, Otherkin are usually levelheaded and able to question their beliefs and function in human society.

"Is it a Roleplaying thing?

NO. While some Otherkin may participate in roleplaying, strictly speaking the beliefs are separate from the roleplay - even if they are roleplaying as their identified “kintype”."

Otherkin FAQ v 4.0.1 by Arhuaine, Miaren Crowsdaughrer, Thistile Kachunk, Golden Syrpent, Knight of Ghosts and Shadows, Jarin Dreamsinger and The Crisses: "The Otherkin are those people who believe themselves to be spiritually and/or physically other than human. While mythological species (elves, satyrs, fairies, dragons, and so on) are widely accepted as being included under the term "Otherkin", many people in the community prefer to include aliens, vampires, furries, extraterrestrial humans, and other nonhuman races. A mythological or literary equivalent is not necessary to be included under "Otherkin"; there are types of otherkin that have not shown up in known legends or fiction (star-dragons, Elenari, etc.)."

What are Otherkin, Anyway? by Adnarel: "Otherkin is a term that is generally used to describe people who, In some way or another, physical bodies aside, do not feel that they are “human” in the conventional sense of the word. We (they) feel as though their spirits are not human, nor have they ever been, despite our physical bodies and outward appearance. Some otherkin have testified that they feel that this is their first time on this plane of existence, a.k.a. Earth. Others feel that they have been here numerous times to teach and to heal people. Maybe once they were here in their “true forms”. Otherkin use the term “true form” to describe what they feel to be the shape and nature of their true selves."

What Are Otherkin? by Arhuaine:

"Put simply, someone who is Otherkin feels that they have a soul (or souls) other than human. Usually this encompasses what are commonly regarded as mythical beings such as elves, dragons, fae, satyrs and so on. A broader view of otherkin might also include therianthropes (were-creatures) and those with animal souls (such people are sometimes known affectionately as "furries"), and also perhaps people who consider their souls are alien (often called star-born). The lines between Otherkin and Furries or Star-born are often blurred.

"Most Otherkin feel for most of their lives as though they don't belong. Human society seems alien and unfamiliar in many ways. They may feel isolated and unhappy, yet unable to explain these feelings at first. Then, perhaps they may begin to remember a life other than their own. Sometimes it is not easy to understand such memories, and sometimes the awakening to Otherkin-ness is a difficult and frightening process, especially if they are going through it alone. It is something not easy to share with others, for fear that they may consider you crazy.

"Being Otherkin is not something to crave, nor is it glamorous. It is a difficult and lonely path to tread, and sometimes it seems to bring only sorrow. Memories of loved ones long lost, a home that can no longer be reached, cause great pain. And yet, the life of the Otherkin is not all sadness. It is a life filled with wonder and magic, and a way of looking at the world that humans can never understand. Because magic is so much a part of an Otherkin's outlook, they may be drawn to Paganism or other New-age philosophies."

Are You 'Kin? by Gazer: "To really find out if you are otherkin takes searching. No, not on the internet, inside. You have to reach inside yourself and really look at yourself. This ,for the most part, is an inner journey. You have the answers, not me or anyone else. If you are otherkin then it is a PART of you, but you may be the only person able to find it.

The best others can do to help you is to provide pointers. Show you ways to search inside yourself, tell you how they found something inside themselves. We can hold a mirror up to you, but you won't see anything unless YOU do the looking, and what we see from our side of the mirror may not be the truth."

Otherkin Phenomena: "Otherkin are people who believe themselves to be something other than a human being on a spiritual, psychological, energetic and some even on a biological level, and choose to identify with that non-human fragment of themselves to the point where they count it as a permanent and ingrained part of their personal mythology and/or identity."

and there's plenty more! i'm just tired

i hope this helped answer your question, and perhaps gives others some insight as well!

#otherkin #alterhuman #asks #long post

42 notes · View notes

sheblah · 4 years

Text

OK I'm apparently not done talking about this. Here I'm going to expand on my meta that DT's motivation = survival and all else is just a byproduct.

Lots of people have commented that Double Trouble does what they do purely for drama, or chaos, or because they just love destroying lives. It's as valid an interpretation as any, I guess, but I don't agree with it. They are certainly manipulative, but I don't think this trait is incidental to their personality; it's very much intentional on DT's part. If put together with other clues, I think it reveals something very different about them.

What I propose is that ultimately, DT's goal in life isn't to cause drama or have fun at other people's expense (bear with me). Their goal is to survive - or more accurately, to maximize survival chances - and they have a very meticulous way of going about it.

First I want to take a broad look at the elements that shape DT's personality and motives. This might involve some speculation, since we don't know anything about their early life and very little about their internal thoughts, but I'll stick to onscreen evidence as much as I can. What we do know is that they first appear in the Crimson Waste. I choose to assume they live there and have done so for an indeterminate time before their first appearance. And in the Crimson Waste, the strong make the rules. Not everyone can be the "strongest in the Crimson Waste." Most people just have to be strong enough to survive on their own, or else join up with the strongest like Huntara's goons or Tung Lashor's lizard gang. Since DT isn't ostensibly allied to any group in the CW, they're probably the former. And their strength isn't muscle; it lies in deception, observation, and manipulation. As a shapeshifter, they're naturally predisposed to that sort of skillset. They probably started their career of deception by shifting to blend in and escape danger, and then expanded the applications of that ability into eavesdropping, information gathering, and eventually espionage. Their best strength is knowing more than everybody else, and knowing how to use that information.

Let's go back to S4E2 for a moment. This is the first time we see DT:

They're looking down at Adora, Bow, Huntara, and Perfuma. In retrospect I thought this was odd, since they then proceed to approach Catra, not the heroes. They don't interact with the heroes until Catra has them do their "audition." Why show DT watching them? I think, in this moment, DT is choosing which side to join. For at least a moment, they consider offering their services to the Rebellion instead. We also know this because they mention the possibility to Catra.

Now my opinion is biased towards a morally gray interpretation of the character, but to me this is a pretty big hole in the popular rhetoric that DT is evil for the lulz. Why even think about joining the "good guys" if all you want is chaos and destruction? The Rebellion is about stopping all that noise. And why consider them first? We don't see DT watching Catra and sizing her up.

But before we get to that, we have to ask: why get involved in the war at all? What would drive them to leave the Crimson Waste and seek employment in the wider wartorn world of Etheria? I posit that it's because the Waste is no longer survivable.

In that episode, we see that the Valley of the Lost is crawling with Horde soldiers.

They're terrorizing the denizens of the desert. Now these are mostly hardened criminals who aren't easily terrorized, but the Horde has armor and weapons and numbers on their side. As Huntara puts it, "It wasn't always like this. It used to be a great place, where an honest criminal could carve out a life." When she says this, it's news to her; from what we can tell, she's been living in Bright Moon for awhile. But everyone else there has just been living with this new state of affairs however long the Horde has been in their valley - and it's probably been awhile since they have a whole warehouse set up. It's reasonable to assume DT has been suffering from the Horde's presence as much as anyone else who lives there. How can you make a living gathering intel when there are soldiers around every corner interrogating everyone?

It's simple, actually: if you can't beat them, join them. Or maybe join their enemies.

I think they don't have great choices at this point - either keep working and hope that business picks up while ALSO avoiding the aggressive soldiers, or get involved in a war that you and your home have avoided thus far. The choice that gives them the best chance to keep making money - and, you know, living - is to get involved with the war one way or another.

So then, why pick the Horde way? Also simple.

From where DT is standing, the Horde is winning. They have sophisticated technology, abundant resources, and enough soldiers that they can afford to station a few dozen in a remote desert town. Who does the Rebellion send to steal the ship back? Three kids and a former gang leader. And oh sure, one of them is She-Ra, but what's one superpowered princess against an army? Any way you look at it, the Horde's forces are more impressive.

So they offer their services to the Horde first, with the rebels as a backup in case the Horde says no.

So, let's summarize up to this point. Pretend you're DT. You make your living as a spy, but suddenly a powerful presence takes your town by storm and completely disrupts everyone's daily lives. Finding clients becomes difficult, and actually doing the work is next to impossible when the streets are clogged with armed aggressors. Your income starts drying up. You can't avoid the war anymore - the war has come to you. So you decide to join it. You spot a handful of outsiders trying to avoid attention and figure this must be the Rebellion's forces. It's four people versus dozens of armored soldiers with enormous resources. You pick the stronger side. But now you've gone from working with petty thugs to working with literal warlords, and that's a hell of a dangerous position to be in. If you piss off your employer, you just might die. So. How do you cover your ass?

By getting the dirt.

Because that's your strength. That's how you survive. By manipulating the people who could hurt you. By gathering information that could hurt them so bad they couldn't even retaliate. And, hey, you don't necessarily gather this information with the intent to use it - but if the crap hits the fan and you do something that'll get you on a tyrannical world leader's naughty list, well, you need something to defend yourself with. For you, information is the best weapon.

That explains why they're so determined to get in Catra's skin. They want to know what makes her tick, her strengths, her weaknesses, her obsessions. It's not just for the love of acting. These are all bullets that they can use to bring her down if need be. And when they decide to switch to the other side? Need be.

Giving Catra that devastating speech has multiple effects. I think a part of them really does care about Catra and wants to be honest with her. But my theory is that they're mainly trying to get one important message across:

Don't try to retaliate for this betrayal. I know enough to destroy you without throwing a single punch.

As an ending note, I want to examine that line above. "The best way to survive is always choose the winning side." As amusing as the "would sell you to satan for one corn chip" memes are, that's not actually the sort of attitude they have about betraying Catra. They're not talking about getting a reward here. No mention of superior pay is made. They're not saying they destroyed everything she's worked for on a lark (although they may have had a lark in the process). They're talking about literal survival. The basic gift of continuing to stay alive. That's what they betrayed Catra for. They do the math in that cell in Bright Moon, figure they're on the losing side of the war, and decide what they're getting from the Horde isn't worth getting killed over. Anything else they get out of it is incidental.

Mind you, none of this is meant to imply that they don't enjoy messing with people's heads. There's abundant evidence that they do. Rather, my point is that they probably learned how to manipulate people not as a hobby, but as a vital survival skill... and probably long before they learned to enjoy it.

#double trouble #catra #meta #analysis #she ra #spop #long post

198 notes · View notes

verus-veritas · 5 years

Text

Antonio

A very well-written story by “Collan” on Male Transformation Blogspot. He really knows how to draw you in. /Verus

"Give those back!" shouted a whiny, boyish voice. "You can't do this! It isn't fair! You have no right!"

The early morning sun felt warm and soothing on my bare torso as I stood by the side of the path near the old wooden picnic tables at the far edge of the park. My right arm was raised in the air, holding a small device and a pair of glasses in my hand, well out of reach of the much smaller boy who had shouted at me. We were both seniors in high school, but he looked years younger than I did, and even though I was already naturally tall, he was so short that I towered over him by almost a foot.

"Give what back, Georgie? These?" I asked nonchalantly with a false expression of concern on my face. I reached up with my left hand to pluck the glasses from my right and examined them briefly with a look of mild pity. "Shame you're so terribly blind without these. I suppose it would be too cruel to leave you here without them. Here you go." I said, and with an expert flick of the wrist tossed them far over his head to land in the still-wet grass behind him.

I took a moment to marvel at the dexterity in my left hand as I watched Georgie track the arc of his glasses to see where they landed. His short, pudgy body scuttled across the grass to retrieve them, and he dried them off with the hem of his overlarge t-shirt before putting them back on and then turning to glare at me in fury.

"You fucking bastard! You ‘know’ what I mean! That's ‘my’ body! Give it back, or I'll..."

"Or you'll what?" I interrupted, with a tone of quiet condescension in my newly low baritone. "What will you do, Georgie?"

"Stop calling me that! ‘I'm’ Antonio, you little faggot!" The anger on his face looked oddly out of place on his rounded features. The expression just didn't work on him.

"Little faggot?" I asked him dangerously as I felt a surge of anger rush through me. In the immediacy of the moment, I hadn't really allowed myself yet to settle into his mind, and the emotion caught me off guard. Damn, but this boy had anger issues, and testosterone to spare to fuel it. It almost overwhelmed me for a moment, but I managed to rein it in.

Still keeping the device out of his reach, I moved towards him with a little bit of a strut and an evil grin playing about my lips. I loved the way this body language felt so natural already. God, I wished I could see myself from the outside right now. I was probably sexy as fuck. Oh well, I had plenty of time for that later. I needed to stay focused on playing out this inevitable little drama and get it over with.

"You might want to calm down a little, Georgie. You're starting to make a scene. You sound a little crazy there. ‘I'm’ Antonio and ‘you're’ Georgie. ‘I'm’ the tall, sexy Italian stud and ‘you're’ the fat little nerd. Just look at yourself-" I said with a note of disgust. "How could anyone confuse ‘that’ with ‘this’?"

I deliberately teased him and pretended to give him the opening I knew he'd be looking for, lowering my arm and using the hand that held the device to gesture first to him, then to me. Right on cue, he made an attempt to try and grab for the device, but my reflexes were far too fast for him, and I whipped it instantly out of reach again. I knew he could never match me physically, since of course I knew his body's capabilities, or the lack thereof really, far too well. It was truly a miracle I'd managed to pull this off at all, but the reward was definitely all the pain and suffering that had led up to it. I realized I was starting to drift mentally again and brought myself back to the moment.

"Ah, ah, ah." I said and wagged my finger at him as if scolding a small child. "No grabbing for things that aren't yours or you'll have to go in time out!"

He shook his head as if to clear it and pressed his palms to his temples in frustration. "God, this is some kind of nightmare! It has to be!"

The opening was too good to pass up and I took it. "Yes, Georgie, it ‘is’ a nightmare, and I'm guessing it's just going to get worse for you."

"How? How can it get worse?" he almost whimpered, as unbidden and unwanted tears started to fill his eyes. God, I was so glad I had left that uncontrollable urge to cry behind! It was time to take the gloves off, push all his buttons, and make him start to see the agony that I had endured at his hands.

"Because," I replied, lowering my voice further so there was no chance of accidentally being overheard, "I can see that what is starting to happen to me is starting to happen to you too."

"But what do you mean? None of this makes any sense!" he cried, sitting back down at the picnic table and burying his face in his arms.

"It will soon. Very soon now," I said. "You'll know it all shortly, so it's time to drop the pretense."

That caught his attention. He lifted his tear-stained face to look at me, and I almost laughed as he realized his crying had smudged his glasses again, and he had to take them off, clean them, then put them back on again to see me clearly.

"What I mean is this. Thanks to this little device here," and I brandished it briefly as I continued, "I jumped my consciousness into you, and because we were both touching it when I pushed the button, you've retained your own consciousness and are aware of the switch. And let me tell you, setting this up and pulling it off was a total bitch. Letting you torment me every Saturday morning for weeks so that when the time came, you wouldn't think it was strange that I was sitting here waiting for you. Practicing maneuvering myself so that I could click this little button while we were both touching the device at the same time. With your size, strength, and speed against mine it could have gone wrong at any moment, but it didn't, thank god."

He was looking at me incredulously, his mouth hanging open, but no words came out of his mouth.

"I could have just taken you over from a distance," I went on, "and you would have turned into Georgie with no memory of ever having been Antonio. But I couldn't have that. You ‘had’ to know. You ‘have’ to know! To fully ‘know’ the suffering I've endured for years because of you! And you will!" My temper had risen again, stronger this time, and I was startled by the sudden violent urge I had to lash out and hit. Something, anything, him! This ‘thing’ in front of me that had made my life a misery for so long!

"But it's not possible!" he protested.

His statement surprised a bark of laughter out of me and broke through the growing anger. I shook my head in amazement. "How can you say that when you're sitting there in that pathetic body? Really ‘look’ at yourself, well, your ‘new’ self." I chuckled, but then grew serious. I began to direct him verbally, knowing from his crying moments before that his new emotions were beginning to take hold of him and an urge, a hunger, to obey me, to be dominated by me, his fantasy man, was lurking just under the surface.

"Look at your small, plump hands," I told him. "Look at your pale, pale skin. Feel the limp, thin hair on your head. Feel the paunch at your belly. Look... Feel... Touch... Touch your bicep and flex it. Not much there to flex, is there? Now how can you say this isn't possible?" My voice had fallen into an almost mesmeric cadence that I wasn't aware I was capable of. A vaguely erotic thrill rose in me at the thought of the control I was wielding, as I watched my nemesis examine my former body, following every direction I gave him almost without thought.

When I finished, he hugged his arms to his body tightly and started to tremble as if it were the dead of winter instead of a beautiful late spring day. I suddenly realized what was coming and jumped back in time, noticing in passing how much farther back I had jumped than I had expected to and how easy it had been. He turned towards me and vomited, heaving violently into the grass where I had just been standing. I waited while he emptied the contents of his stomach out onto the ground in front of him.

"What's happening to me? I feel like I'm losing all control of myself. Why are you doing this?" he asked hoarsely while he continued to cough and spit to clear his mouth as his sickness subsided.

I started walking towards the next table over, and I knew he would follow. It was as much to get away from the puddle of puke in the grass as to give him the opportunity to rinse his mouth out at the nearby water fountain. I wanted him paying attention to me, not the foul taste in his mouth.

I pointed him to the fountain, then continued. "What's happening to you is that you're in my body just as I'm in yours. I didn't expect you to blow chunks like that, but I guess if I had gone from this to that with no warning, I'd be pretty repulsed too. Plus I'm sure the pile of greasy sausages I ate for breakfast didn't help. I do love the taste, but they always do a number on my stomach. Well, ‘your’ stomach now. A little welcome gift from me to you." I snickered, and he glared again as he finished rinsing his mouth out at the fountain.

"You're also starting to feel my mind, just like I'm starting to feel yours. The emotions are beginning to make themselves known, and the memories will start filtering in after that. As the integration accelerates, you'll start living on my autopilot essentially. You'll still be aware of having been Antonio, but your speech patterns, your body language, your emotional reactions, your wants and loves and hates and fears will all be Georgie. ‘You’ will be Georgie. You ‘are’ Georgie. That's what's happening to you. And ‘I’... ‘I’ will be Antonio.”

Source: “Caption This!” 14/06/2014

#bodyswap #bully #revenge #racial #maletransformationblog

349 notes · View notes