#why are the allos like this

[why-are-the-allos-like-this]

Sitting outside together, when I notice that she has an expression best described as "smitten"

Me: Is it math or is it girls?

Her: Hey it could be programming! There's 3 things I like that you don't!

@shit-my-asexual-friend-says

#asexual #why are the allos like this #aroace #aromantic #queerplatonic #aspec #bisexual #qpr #this is the majority of our interactions tbh

[knifearo]

ultimately when it comes to shipping and fandom space treatment of aspec characters i just don't accept "aro/ace people can still date/have sex" as an answer from nonaspecs. like yeah. mhm. okay. now i think we both know that you're not saying that out of real interest in the diversity of aspec experiences. so you can turn in your seventeen-page essay on why and how you plan to examine this character's aspec identity within the context of a romantic or sexual relationship complete with evidence from canon and peer reviews from multiple aspec people within the next week or i'm putting you in the pit from the edgar allen poe story

#you know. the one with the pendulum #'hey. why are you as an allo person shipping this aspec character like this' #'oh aspec people can still date/have sex!' #'yeah. now can you answer the question that i actually asked you' #like goddamn just say you don't care they're aspec and you want to fulfill a sexual/romantic fantasy with them. that's Fine #it like. sucks. for sure. lotta aspec people will be unhappy with you. but everyone is entitled to their own wants and experiences. #but i'd prefer you just be honest with it rather than using our community's conversation points as retroactive justification #and ONCE AGAIN. you guys are real fucking cavalier with this shit and it shows a real fundamental lack of respect for aspecs #when most of you would NEVER ship a canonically gay character with the 'other' gender. cause again. it would suck. #you can do it. nobody's Stopping you. but it would suck. #and we understand that putting a queer character in situations that erase that queerness is shitty! until it comes to aspec characters! #and whoa... there it is again... people don't consider aspec identities to be queer... crazy how it always comes back to that #anyway. you all know what i'm talking about. have seen many posts about this lately #it is [ long sigh ] unfortunately a very hot button issue with the advent lately of alastor hazbinhotel #which. again. god i wish there were other canon aspec characters to be having this conversation about. #but we'll have to do our best with what we have #aromantic #aromanticism #arospec #aroace #talking #aspec #asexual #asexuality

[shmaroace]

sometimes i forget how alloallo people think and then i'm hit with a wave of amatonormativity and it reminds me that most of the world is actually just Like That

#i want to study allos under a microscope sooo bad. why are they like that #aro #aromantic #arospec #amatonormativity

[braincloggedwithcats]

Hey . Kissing repulsion is always ok. If you're kissing repulsed you're awesome and I care you. It doesn't make you silly, it doesn't make you childish and you deserve respect. It doesn't matter why you're kissing repulsed, if you have a reason at all, how old you are or how much or little you can tolerate, you're not hurting anyone and it's ok. I'm sorry if you've been made to feel bad for it, I'm sorry if you've ever made yourself feel bad for it, I'm sorry it's so hard to avoid. You're cool and you're allowed to feel however you want about it and that should be respected. You're ok

#sorry this is maybe a little out of nowhere and unusual for me but i was Thinking #kissing repulsion #kissing repulsed #aromantic #aromantism #asexual #asexuality #is kissing repulsion common in asensual people too? im not sure but it seems like it would be #i wont tag because i dont wwnt to invade but if anyone knows please tell and if youre asensual HI !!! #kissing repulsion is very rarely talked about and rarely respected. and when it is respected it feels very conditional #also i mostly tagged this aspec stuff but kissing repulsed allos are valid too. if youre kissing repulsed i dont care why youre welcome her #aspec #aspectrum #ram's post #kiss repulsed #kiss-repulsed

[aroacechillzone]

aro thought of the day: why is jealously such a normalized part of romantic relationships??? like, isn't it unhealthy??? and yet ship dynamic memes have a "jealousy meter" on them??? and ppl make jokes about it??? sounds like you guys need to go to therapy lmao

#aro #aromantic #like #i think ideally u should trust ur partner NOT to cheat on u #and uh #if u dont #well #*points to therapy* #why do so many allos treat it as normal tho??? #it seems to be mostly a het thing tbh

[beesinspades]

something something ace people often being told they're not human for not experiencing sexual attraction and/or not wanting sex, something something vash seeing his sex-averse asexuality as yet another thing that makes him even more different from humans than he already is because of it

#trigun #vash the stampede #asexual #acephobia #internalized acephobia #bee talks #ace vash tag #when i was writing hualian i was very much doing so with 'xl is super duper comfortable with being ace' in mind at all times #but vash............yeah no i don't think he'd be #anyway i just like thinking that when he pretends to be asleep to avoid having sex #and thinks the attention/kisses (?) were already more than he deserved / wonders if he regrets it at least a little bit (98 anime) #it's a combination of his self-loathing (both in general and about his scars) and his asexuality #i've seen people sometimes going 'it's not about not wanting sex it's about his self-loathing' #well i say it's both. it can be both. #disclaimer these are obviously headcanons~ #canon ace in my heart though!!! #anyway that's why personally i like writing my wolfwood allo even though I like him acespec too #i need whoever vash's partner is to be allo but still tell him it's okay #but also obviously he needs ace human friends

[dathen]

Looks at “amatonormativity doesn’t just hurt arospec people, it hurts allo people too!” addition to one of my posts about arophobia and sighs deeply

#yeah it’s true but why do you need to include ‘just’ #there are so many ways you could phrase it without acting like it’s an *escalation* to affect allo people

[redysetdare]

just because someone doesn't label an attraction on the split attraction doesn't make them allo in that attraction.

I don't label my other attractions because to me the only important ones to label are my romantic and sexual attractions as those effect me first and foremost. That doesn't mean I'm just allo in every other form of attraction. I'm not alloplatonic or alloaesthetic or allofamilial or whatever other ones (not in a dismissive way but in a 'there's so many i cannot name them all way'). I don't feel ANY attraction at all. I don't see a reason to label my other a-attractions because my lack of any attraction at all makes it feel a bit unnecessary for me personally.

#text #idk i dont have a point here #just that a lot of ppl seem to assume that not labeling must mean your allo in that attraction when that is...not the case #like ppl will assume non-sam aces much be alloace #if you don't label other split attractions then obviously you must be allo because ig allo is the default for most of these #i mostly see it with platonic and aesthetic attractions tbh #ppl assume every aspec who doesn't label platonic or aesthetic attraction must just feel it #but some of us dont and that can play into why we don't label it!!! #aspec #aro #aromantic #asexual #ace #aroace #aplatonic #aplspec #split attraction #split attraction model #i seriously need a list of other split attractions and their a- labels because idk how to write some of these correctly and im so sorry #btw none of this is to say there isn't times where people assume the opposite #like when ppl assume non-sam aros are aroace. or assume all aplatonics must be on the arospec and acespec

[ratnix]

Ever since I realized I was in the aro-/ace spectrum, I started getting more confused when allos went like "but when you find the right person!!!" because, aphobia aside, that's...that's basically demisexuality/romanticism

#asexual #aromantic #lgbtqia #queer #demiromantic #demisexual #aroace #why are allos like this #ace #aro

[infiniteorangethethird]

"you NEED a romantic partner in life bc who else will help you when you're having a crisis and you can't rely on your friends, what will you do then" I get better friends???

#why r allos shocked when i want to be able to rely on my friends' help #like no actually it's not good if all support in life comes from 1 person #'well what if their romantic partners are more important at the moment' #well 1) ideally i have multiple friends #2) if someone consistently leaves me behind for their partner then like #we're probably not gonna be friends for long #like im not saying they shouldn't prioritize but #friendship is a two way road and if they don't put in anything why should i stay #aromantic #aro #arospec #amatonormativity #queer stuff

[ace-and-ranty]

I swear to God I haven't been so peeved by anything as much as I'm peeved by people saying "El and Liesel came out of nowhere"

#BITING. BITING AND TEARING. #I mean for one. That is kind of how Naomi does sex in her books. #same thing happened with Uprooted. SUDDENLY THEY WERE AT IT. #and it's EXACTLY what happened to Orion and El in book two #but NO ONE ever has anything to say about it. #it's all fine and dandy when they are in looooveeeee but platonic sex is apparently INCOMPREHENSIBLE #why are allos like this #like. Liesel directly told Aadhya. to her face. why she was trying to get closer to El. #and she also told El. to her face. that she uses sex as a means of forging alliances. #literally shy of stopping the sex scene dead and looking at the camera it could not have been clearer. #'gal who uses sex to secure alliances has sex with girl she wants to secure an alliance with' #WHAT'S NOT CLICKING. JESUS!

[why-are-the-allos-like-this]

Is it really the case that allo people just.....want to do things like make out? Like all the time? And/or just and seemingly random and inexplicable times?

Because @shit-my-asexual-friend-says and I were chilling on the couch with pleasant ambient music and she just suddenly proclaims that she wishes her boyfriend were here so she could make out with him. Like, did something prompt this thought???? Why are you like this?

#asexual #aroace #aromantic #why are the allos like this #they just DO stuff #and then they act like its a normal thing to do or say

[knifearo]

reminder to everyone that trauma IS a valid reason to use aspec labels. "i don't know if i'm aspec or just traumatized—" protip!!! you can be both!!!! the thing about labels is that they're not immutable states of being that you're born as. they're literally just words that we use to describe our lived experiences, and if asexual or aromantic or any related label feel relevant to the way that you experience attraction, whether it's a result of trauma or not, they're there for you to use. having trauma as a cause does not invalidate the fact that someone is experiencing lesser or no attraction. that's still the aspec experience babey. use the label if you want it's there for you <3

#kissing every traumatized aspec person on the forehead. with permission of course #obviously the labels aren't gonna be right for everyone but like... #i see a lot of discussion around this topic and it's actually SO important to me to bring up every time #that labels are just little signs you put up to tell people something about yourself. #it's not an immutable unchangeable fact. it's a little sign. it's a label just like you make with a label maker. #its purpose is to be there and communicate something about your experience to the people around you. #so if you want to communicate that you don't experience attraction in an allo way! that's literally what it's there for! #really i feel like denying people access to those labels cause they weren't born that way is like. #first. an asshole move. why don't you shut the fuck up and let other people decide what they experience #second. perpetuating the idea that if you don't experience attraction you're broken? but just in a different way? #'you can experience limited/no attraction IF you're ace and born that way. otherwise you're ACTUALLY fucked up.' #'you're straight/gay/bi you're just broken right now.' actually maybe they're experiencing something that aligns with asexuality. #ever thought about that... #intent here is NOT to speak for anyone with that experience. however i meet like seven people a year who say that they're unsure #if they're aspec or just traumatized #and it's SO important to me to say that you can be both. you can use the label. your experiences are valid #whether they're internally or environmentally caused. #kiss kiss ily everybody (/aro) #<— tone indicator that indicates that i meant it aromantically #aspec #aromantic #aromanticism #aroace #arospec #aro positivity #asexual #ace pride #acespec #ace positivity #ace inclusion. turn the tables

[altschmerzes]

out there doing the lord’s work (headcanoning characters as aromantic and Not interested in romantic relationships at all actually, alienating one fandom at a time but having a fantastic blast with it all the while, which is really all that matters)

#gav gab #i need to finish my aro fics #two of them are in progress rn #and both involve the aro character in question being like #not only am i aro but romantic relationships? not for me #one of them is like Friends Are It For Me and the other is interested in a qpr #but neither want romance #and i can’t help but notice that fandoms only seem to want to tolerate like #aro or arospec headcanons when they leave plausible deniability for their ship to still exist #bc of romance favourability or arospec identities that leave room for romantic feelings #not to say those headcanons are bad just that it’s really transparent to me #when fandoms will only allow ones that give them a get out of aro free card so to speak #from an allo or shipper perspective #smacks of the way they’ll allow ace characters or ace headcanons but not aro ones (obv In My Experience disclaimer) #like huh funny how you prioritize your ability to ship over anything else! #cant imagine why fandom spaces feel so inherently and explicitly hostile to me #aro blogging

[converse-and-mnms]

there’s nothing more validating as an aro ace than listening to my very allo bestie talking abt her “love” life.

we’re in university, so it’s…. way too in depth for my liking and i spend my time switching between feeling validated and horrified

#like girl #why would u do that #why would u think that #are u okay #wtf #aroace validation #allo culture #asexual #aromantic #aroace #lgbtq+ #lgbtqia #validation

[plushiehamuko]

i am so obsessed with the concept of relationship anarchy. i think more people should give up entirely on the concept of traditional relationships and blur the lines between friendship and romance with all of the people they love

#squishy talks too much #thinking about this with my p3 blorbos #but also in an irl context #like idk. why not just be so so affectionate and clingy and in love with so so many people and let them do so too #marriage and other traditional relationship stuff gives me the ick #i just want to have so many friendships that exceed what most allos would consider platonic