ace-and-ranty

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Working at the sex shop really did rewire my brain. There was basically no topic that was too taboo to talk about, and what little propriety I’d had evaporated. I’d be out walking and chatting with friends about erotica I’d had to read that day only to be shushed and realize people were staring at me.

It always struck me as a little bit silly but I learned to curb myself for others comfort levels. Mostly.

But I have one distinct memory of decorating holiday cookies with my parents and my grandmother. My mom had worked in a sex shop back in her day, and I never hid my line of work from my family, so I was telling a work story.

I was conscious that my dad was slightly more sensitive, so I was using pretty broad descriptions, but I happened to mention silicone lube and my nana asked, “What’s that?”

I went into full sales mode. Focused on the little reindeer cookie I was decorating I started info dumping, “Oh, it’s pretty great. Water based lubricants get absorbed through vaginal mucous membranes, but silicone is too dense and our body can’t absorb it the same way. So once you apply some silicone you never have to worry about chafing, and a little goes a long way. It’s especially popular with older women, because they start producing less natural lubricant and absorb water based lubes so quickly.”

There was a silent beat after this statement.

I looked up.

My mom and grandmother were looking at me with rapt attention, and I belatedly realized I was addressing two older women who probably would welcome extra lubrication.

And then there was my dad, blushing so pink with embarrassment that I thought he was about to faint.

“I can talk about something else,” I offered in apology to my dad.

“Like hell! He can go in the other room, tell me more!” My nana declared. My dad scampered off to busy himself in another room while I answered their questions and talked about brands and pricing.

I slipped them each a small bottle of silicone lube for the holidays.

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Apparently there was some kind of race scheduled at a local park or something so I've been trying to avoid the main trail but a little while ago when I had to cross near it I overheard the following shouted exchange

Higher feminine voice: woo, look at you go! You're jogging! Keep it up!

Lower masculine voice (panting): you know it! Last place is still a place, baby!

And goddamn if that didn't rewire my brain a little bit.

Last place is still a place, baby.

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if i had seen the transition from sepia to color in wizard of oz in 1939 i would have lost my shit i would've started screaming in the theater

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#ESPECIALMENTE #se vc tá mandando mensagem do nada no WhatsApp #State your business ou eu não vou responder.

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One of my friends thought there might be a correlation here, so let's find out...

No see results, you must decide. Add nuance in tags/replies if you wish.

reblogging for larger sample size appreciated

you can submit polls to this blog via asks and submissions

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Just saw a random YT short going, "When you find out WHY you have anxiety, it will fix the issue!" and ohmyGOD do I want to punch this dude.

#IF I COULD REASON MY WAY OUT OF FEELING ANXIOUS #I WOULD NOT HAVE FUCKING ANXIETY.

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💜 space babies 💜

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Cultural Fashion: Katara and Sokka’s Shoes

Katara’s shoes appear to be inspired by traditional Inuit kamik; which is a soft boot, traditionally made of reindeer (caribou) skin or sealskin, and worn by arctic aboriginal peoples. While Katara’s kamik boots are ankle-length rather than calf-length, it otherwise has the characteristics of kamik: a curved-toe sole that extends all the way to the top edges of the foot and a thick fur exterior from the ankles up. (Update: I finally found an example of ankle-length kamik here!)

Sokka’s boots appear to inspired by the traditional boots of the Tlingit people in Alaska. Note the soft curved-toe sole that extends all the way to the top edges of the foot, the length and fit, the seams that run along the sides of the boots, and decorative edges at the top of the boot.

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I never uploaded my updated Jimmy Neutron designs! I think it’d be funny if a modern JN reboot had at 2000s aesthetic both animation-wise and also for the look of Retroville and its citizens fashion

My friend Eric did an animation using these designs! It came out SO GOOD

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So true, bestie, so true. The most horrific element for me was that being taken over is a death sentence for your loved ones; now the Souls can use YOUR OWN DAMN MEMORIES to murder everyone you care about. That the book opens with Melanie desperately trying to commit suicide, and that her being saved from death is actually a horrific, traumatic invasion... wild.

Or how Wanda walks in to a room splattered with blood everywhere and no one immediately realizes that this is a bloody gore fest for her, because the silver doesn't register to them as blood!!

Or that one alien planet, where they took over one sentient species, and then, due to that species' own personal biases, didn't realize they were eating another sentient species??

Also, LOL, on another topic. Even at the time the line made me a bit "EEEHH", but I also could NOT help but find it hysterical when... I don't remember his name. But he's calling Wanda an "it" and she snaps that she's a woman, and he's like, "By whose definition?" and she goes "How about yours?? I could have babies, you know?? Does that make me a woman for you?? Asshole??"

…I was also a huge fan of The Host! I haven’t read it in a long time either though.

I still think about that book sometimes and wonder what she’d been planning for a trilogy.

...!!!! No way!! You're literally the first person EVER I meet who is also a fan of it hahaha

I'm very afraid of revisiting and hating it, because I must have last read it like, ten years ago. And I adored it at the time, but I suspect I may see many more flaws with older eyes. In particular, I don't know how I would stomach Jared's violence towards Wanda. I have never cared for that man LOL

But the CONCEPT drove me bonkers. I adored all the alien worldbuilding; every species is amazing. I loved how all the humans were messy and violent and merciful. That scene when they are kind to the Seeker and Wanda remarks; oh they are being kind on MY behalf, has just lived in my memory. And also Wanda. I love Wanda actually. But most of all it was one of the first stories I really engaged with where there is no real right option, where the moral conundrums can't be solved, you just gotta figured out what you can live with. A true "WOW WE LIVE IN A SOCIETY" moment for me.

And the BABY!! The human baby that wasn't given over to a Soul!! I laid awake thinking of that baby!!

#also speaking of iffy but at the time hysterical to me: #Wanda lying to Ian about her host's biological age because she knows he would feel iffy about having sex with her #when she is in fact. like. several centuries older than him. #I find it very amusing that Mormon Stephenie Meyer is consistently writing female characters that are SO down to fuck. #they are so horny they want to DO IT and it's always the man being like 'No............ I must BE RESPECTFUL......................'

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my gay produce

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There IS a very smug feeling to guessing what the HELL your monkey brain needs now. Like when ur feeling urself getting funny in the head and you go "HHMM. Haven't talked in too long. Gotta call my parents."

And you were right. It works. You successfully clocked low socialization stats. Go you.

#me: hhmmm I'm starting to feel funky and depressed #I haven't talked to a loved one all day. #'MOM HOW YA DOING' #instantly feel normal again #amazing.

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#okay but. #a farmer's wife is not a farmer. #a farmer's wife HELPS with farming #but her actual full time occupation was likely child rearing / cooking / MAKING CLOTHES #...so. in other words. being a wife. #spinning took so so so so so much time and work #and so did cooking #and both were essential to a household's survival #if they are both working the fields all the time who's spinning guys?? do you know how much spinning needed to be done!! #also yes I agree with the reply because #c'mon. If you say 'the farmer'. Are you telling me the IMMEDIATE reaction is not 'the male head of the household'? #'the farmer's wife' is as good a shorthand for 'the female head of the household' as it is anything else

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just curious as they're always things i've never questioned just doing but people in my life are often surprised that i don't mind doing them alone

🔁 pls reblog for sample size

#I do all of those alone regularly #when you're an anxious introverted asexual you either do shit by yourself or you don't do it at all LOL

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Sorry, sorry, but manipulative hurt/comfort is fucking cocaine to me. The predatory aspect of it. The vulnerability—500% better if the hurt party knows they're being manipulated and is past the point of caring. The juxtaposition of sweet and sharp flavours. Barkbarkbark

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adora, you must let go. // i’ve got you. i’m not letting go.

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