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lalunalando · 21 days

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Ruins - CS55

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warnings: 18+! minors dni! smut, fluff, teasing, car sex, unprotected sex (wrap before you tap)

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Mallorca was a place that unless you had been there to see it with your own eyes, you wouldn’t believe such a place could be real.

Yet here you were, laughing along with your boyfriends family, glass of wine in one hand and his hand in the other, enjoying the beautiful weather at his family’s holiday home on the beautiful island.

Looking beside you, you couldn’t help the genuine smile planted peacefully on your face as Carlos joked around with his cousins, looking carefree amongst the people who made him the happiest in this world, which for the past few years has included you.

“So how are you enjoying mallorca so far?” His mother asks from across the table, bringing your attention back to the conversation amongst the women.

“I have never seen a place more beautiful, it’s like you take a breath in and you’re instantly at peace” you respond with a smile, feeling Carlos squeeze your hand to remind you he’s still there.

“We’re so glad you were able to make it this time, Carlos was so insufferable last holidays, always sulking about how much he misses you” his younger sibling Ana teases from the end of the table, earning a grape thrown at her by the embarrassed man to your right.

“I wasn't sulking!” he argues back with a pout.

“cabron, you spent more time pouting at her social medias than actually having a conversation with us” his best friend Roberto shot back from his other side, earning him a sharp elbow to the side.

“aww, obsessed much? i might have to tell my boyfriend i have a stalker” you jokingly teased, making his family burst out laughing around the table.

The Sainz family had been nothing but warm and welcoming since the first time you had met them, instantly accepting you into the family and making you comfortable.

Not having such a close relationship with your own family, this had meant the world to you that without a second thought they had welcomed you into theirs with open arms, Ana and Blanca instantly swapping secrets and clothes with you, Reyes showing you how to cook Carlos’ favorite meals for every mood, Carlos Sr teaching you everything motorsports related he could (excited when he learnt you were already a fan of it before and eager to learn the ins and outs of the industry), Caco making sure you were always safe on race weekends and taken as care of as Carlos was by the team, and even Teto who became a like an older brother figure to you (bullying included.)

You felt safe, you felt home, and you could never love anyone more than the man beside you.

The only downside you had found to this beautiful family trip, was the lack of alone time you and Carlos had been granted.

It had been a bit of a rough season so far, with his contract with Ferrari being announced to be ending at the end of the season, meaning while he was having an extremely impressive year on track, he spent every other moment off track in talks with other teams for a contract for the next season.

Luckily, he was in high demand so there was no issue with obtaining one, it was just about choosing who would be the best fit for him, and it had to be decided by the end of this summer holiday.

All you wanted was a little alone time, starting to grow needy by the day and constantly reminded by the teasing touches your boyfriend would leave you with, like right now as he ran his fingers along your thigh under the table.

It was frustrating, any time something was about to happen between the two of you, someone would pop up.

Like this morning, a heavy make out session brought on by his morning wood poking into your back when you woke up? Interrupted by his mother knocking on the bedroom door letting you know breakfast would be ready in 5 minutes.

Last night in the pool, thinking everyone else had well and truly gone to bed? Roberto cannonballing into the pool after noticing you two were still up to annoy.

You loved them all, and you couldn’t be more grateful, but you were getting needy and desperate for your boyfriend.

”Caro, are you feeling okay? you zoned out on us…” Reyes asks with concern, nodding for Ana beside you to top up your water for you.

“Oh i’m so sorry, must have just had a little too much wine before properly eating, i’m okay!” you assure her, gulping as Carlos’ hand trails further up your thigh.

She just nods with a smile before resuming conversation around the table

“Carlos behave, we are at lunch with your family.” you hiss quietly at him, leaning over to him so no one else could hear the conversation you two were having.

“but conejita, i can’t stop thinking about this morning, you looked so pretty all flushed just from a few kisses, so desperate for me” he responded, his breath tickling your neck and making you almost choke on the sip of wine you were taking.

“Please excuse me, i just need to go make a quick call home before it gets too late over there” you quickly stood up and made an excuse to step away for a second, unable to endure Carlos right now.

Stepping into the kitchen once inside, you braced yourself against the marble countertop and focused on calming yourself down again.

You could feel your skin burning from his touch and the wetness pooling in your panties from all the teasing he was doing, torturing you endlessly.

So focused on trying to regain your composure, you hadn't noticed Carlos come in behind you until he was winding his arms around your waist and pulling you against his chest, making sure you felt just how much he was also suffering with his jeans feeling especially tight against his crotch right now.

“Amor, are you okay? you look a little flushed” he smirks as he kisses down your neck.

“are you okay” you respond in a mocking tone, “of course i’m not okay Carlos, you can’t keep your hands to yourself and we haven’t had a moment alone in a week now!”

“aww, is my pretty baby getting needy?” he teases in response, hands starting to wander down to the hem of the short sundress you had opted to wear today.

You turned around quickly, placing your hands on his chest and pushing him away lightly to stop his torment.

“don’t act like it’s just me struggling, your zip looks like it might burst any minute now, might want to go take care of that mi amor” Placing a light kiss on his lips before returning to the group outside before he could react.

“So do you guys have anything planned for the rest of the evening?” Blanca asks as you settle back into the group, Carlos following right behind you.

“I was thinking about taking her down to the ruins for the sunset and a beach walk” Carlos responds quickly, grabbing your hand on top of the table as you tilt your head in confusion at him.

“Oh that sounds wonderful hijo, i’m sure she’s going to love that!” Reyes smiles at you both

“the ruins? there’s ruins here?” you ask excitedly, being a known nerd for that sort of thing.

“si, Necropolis de Son Real, it´s an old cemetery from the roman era and before” he smiles as he squeezes your hand, seeing your eyes light up in excitement.

Suddenly you hear an exaggerated sigh from beside carlos, before Teto speaks up

“So you're both abandoning me for the evening to look at nerd shit? Why do you hate me?” sending the table into a fit of laughter as he fake cried.

An hour later, you and Carlos were loading into his Ferrari to head down to the coastal ruins.

A 30 minute drive, but it was uninterrupted time together that you were looking forward to just spending in the presence of your boyfriend.

The smooth Ferrari 812 Competizione roaring to life under you, Carlos gives you a sweet smile as you set off, letting you have control of the radio as per your usual passenger princess duties.

Carlos couldn’t help but look at you lovingly while you sang along to “i like the way you kiss me” by Artemas, dancing in the little ways you could while remaining seated.

“i like the way you kiss me, i can tell you miss me

i can tell it hits, hits, hits, hits

not tryna be romantic, i’ll hit it from the back

just so you don’t get attached”

“mi amor, hitting it from the back is what got me attached, have you seen your ass?” he smirks as you swat his arm.

“i should have known you were just with me for my ass” you sigh.

“of course not conejita” he says as he squeezes your thigh before laughing, “you have a nice set of tits too”

Reaching the Santa Margalida coast, you were stunned by the beautiful coastline that awaited you. Getting to the ruins was going to be a bit of a walk but you were too excited to care.

Carlos watched in awe as you skipped up the trail, hair flowing behind you as a breeze moved your dress around your legs, he couldn’t believe he had been so lucky to find someone so beautiful and supportive, someone his family adored, someone he couldn’t wait to spend forever with.

“Carlitos look! look at the cool tomb remains” you exclaim as you finally reach the site

“thankyou so much for bringing me here, i love it so much, this is the coolest thing ever!”

”Mi cariño, i would do anything to make you as happy as you make me by just existing” he responds as he wraps you in his arms and places a kiss to your hair

You spent the next hour exploring around and taking pictures of the site, as Carlos secretly took pictures of you in your element.

Once you had explored it all, he held his hand out for you to take as you started the long trek back to the car.

“so, what has been your favorite thing about this trip so far?” he asks genuinely as you walk down the coastal beach.

“hmmm i’d love to say it was definitely the ruins, but my real favorite thing has been spending time with you and your family. Seeing how happy and carefree you are, i couldn’t love it more” you smile back.

“even though we’ve had no time alone until now?” he says as he pulls you in to wrap his arm around your shoulder.

“don’t get me wrong, i can’t wait to have you to myself in our apartment again” you laugh in response.

As you’re about 10 minutes away from the car, a summer shower starts as the sun goes down, making you and Carlos laugh as you run the rest of the way back to the car hand in hand, clothes sticking to you both the wetter they got.

Jumping back into the car, you couldn’t stop laughing about the unexpected turn of events as Carlos just admired the carefree attitude you showed towards it.

His exes before you would have cursed him out, probably blamed him for the weather shift or at the very least for not warning them (like he knew it was going to happen).

It would have led to fights that lasted days, him eventuality having to be the one to apologize even though he had done nothing wrong.

But you? you were sat in the passenger seat, laughing as you tried to unstick your dress from your skin, not phased at all that it had happened.

Without a second thought, Carlos reached over and grabbed your face, smashing his lips to yours like he needed the air in your lungs to breathe.

As you both pulled away for air, you gave him a confused look.

“not that i'm complaining, but what was that for? are you okay” you ask.

“i couldn’t be happier, just looking at you makes me realize how lucky i am to have you, i really do love you” he answers sincerely.

You smile and bring him into another kiss, enjoying this peaceful moment shared by just the two of you.

The sun having now set, no one around, just you and your lover.

The peace doesn’t last long though, as Carlos is getting hungrier for you as the kisses deepen.

Before long, he’s moving his seat back as far as it will go and pulling you over the center and onto his lap, making you straddle his thighs as one of his hands grips your waist and the other is tangled in your hair, holding you against him.

You can’t help but whimper as you grind down on his hard cock, the tight material of his jeans not making it easy for him and you could feel it all in the lace panties you wore that barely covered anything as is.

“the sounds coming out of you right now conejita are enough to make me cum at this point if you’re not careful, you’ve left me suffering too many times this week” Carlos groans into your ear before kissing down your neck.

“it hasn’t been any easier for me you know, i can’t do the same things you can when i’ve been in the shower” you tease back, grinding down harder onto him as he hisses.

“you’ve been greedy mi amor? touching yourself without me in the shower?” he growls, almost animalistic.

“don’t act like you haven’t done the same” you smirk back.

Carlos' hand that was tangled in your hair slowly trails down your figure, running lightly over your collarbones and nipples, before settling on your thigh.

He rubs his thumb on your inner thigh, slowly lifting the hem of your dress up your thighs until he can get a peak of your panties.

Seeing the barely-there black lace, he throws his head back and groans at the sight, feeling his dick twitch in his jeans.

“Were you trying to kill me today? what is this?” he asks as he brushes his thumb over your clit through the lace, making you whimper in response as he feels just how wet they are.

“Joder, eres tan guapa” he groans as he leans back a little to look, moving the lace to the side as he runs his thumb over the sensitive bud again.

“Carlos please, i-“

“i know pretty girl, i’ll give you what you need in a second, just let me admire” he drools, slipping his fingers through your folds at a teasing pace.

Without warning, he slips two fingers in to stretch you out for what's to come, making you almost scream in pleasure at the feeling.

“what a good girl, taking two so well for me, think you can ride my fingers pretty girl?” he whispers in your ear, biting and sucking at the skin of your neck, openly leaving marks his family will undoubtedly ask about later.

As you rock back and forth on his lap, his fingers curling inside you to hit the right spots as his thumb continues work on your clit, your nails are digging into his shoulders as you try to focus on keeping your pace.

With all the pent up tension from the past week, it doesn’t take long for you to feel your first orgasm approaching.

Carlos feels it too, knowing the all too familiar clench of your walls around his fingers, he’s desperate to bring you over the edge, using the hand on your hip to increase your pace as his fingers work you harder from the inside.

Your hand flies to the now fogged up window, leaving a hand mark on it as you scream his name and cum around his fingers, your hips stuttering in movement as you become overly sensitive.

He draws his fingers out once he knows you're done, looking you dead in the eye as he places them in his mouth and sucks them clean, making your pussy clench at the sight.

You decide to tease him back as he pulls them out, grabbing his hand and putting his fingers in your own mouth before sucking and twirling your tongue around them, making him growl.

He wastes no time in lifting you just enough to free himself from his jeans and boxers, before lining himself up with your entrance.

“do you think you have another one in you, mi tesoro?” he asks, slapping his tip against your clit and making you whimper as you nod, unable to speak actual words right now.

“good girl, that’s my pretty angel” he praises as he lowers you onto his cock, stretching you out even more at his size.

It didn’t matter how many times you’d done this, you’d never be used to his size.

It made sense that he was as big and thick as he was, the man himself being broad and muscular, but you could never truly expect JUST how big he was down there.

The first time you’d slept together, you’d been sure he was going to break you in half.

His hand had not been anywhere near enough over the last week, once he had had a taste of you he could never go back to anything or anyone else, the only way Carlos could describe how you felt around him is “made by god specifically for him” and he made sure it was known.

“fuck amorcita, you take me so well” he groans, his grip on your hip bruising as he settles you into a pace that drives you both absolutely wild.

“Carlos i’m not going to last” you moan, already starting to see the little white dots in your vision again.

“that’s okay princesa, either am i after the week without feeling you, but when we get back to madrid you better be prepared for an entire day of being used” he growls as he fucks up into you, making you yelp at the further sensation.

A few minutes later and you couldn’t hold on any longer, begging for him to let you finish.

“Carlos please, please, i can't hold on any longer can i please cum” you beg, tears lining your eyes as you crumble.

“let go amorcita, cum with me” he groans as he bruises your cervix from the final few thrusts he fucks up into you, feeling you squeezing his cock like a vice.

With his words, you’re screaming out his name over and over, leaving more handprints on the glass as his hand joins yours and squeezes, rain still falling around the car as it’s cloaked in complete darkness now the sun has fully set.

Carlos feels you let go and does the same, filling you completely to the point you can feel it coming out as he slowly thrusts a few more times, getting you both through your highs.

Finally lifting your head off his shoulder from where you rested while regaining your breath and balance, you give him a few light kisses before trying to slide off of his dick without making too much of a mess, unsuccessfully.

He quickly places your panties back into place over your pussy, making sure to give it a light tap for good measure as he chuckles.

All you can do is roll your eyes as you readjust your dress again, before climbing back over to your seat and getting comfortable for the long drive back.

“Well that will tide me over for about… 5 hours i think?” Carlos jokes as he starts the car up and pulls out of the parking lot.

“Try 7 days my love, we still have another week here” you remind him sweetly, a hint of teasing in your voice.

“Nope, i don’t care if my family hears anymore, i’m not going that long without you again” he states, kissing your hand before an evil smile places itself over his face.

“Besides, once Teto gets sight of the bruises i’ve left on your skin, there’s no way we’re hiding what happened today anyway.”

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juleswrites223 · 3 months

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Dad!Carlos Sainz x Mom!Reader ❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

Context: Your son is a menace in a car, just like Carlos was at his age

a/n: This is inspired by that video of baby Carlos in a car, drifting like a boss 😂. Also for Mateo's face claim i just took Carlos when he was a child to really give the feel that he is a carbon copy of his dad. I used google translate for the spanish.

“Mateo is an exact copy of Carlos no?” Reyes, Carlos’ mother says as you are out on a brunch date with her.

“Right?? Even the way he even scrunches his nose.” You say to your mother in law. “It’s unfair, I carried him for nine months, all for him to be a carbon copy of his papa.” You whine.

Reyes laughs and you guys continue talking then head to the car. As you’re fastening your seatbelt, the phone lights up with your husband’s caller ID.

“Hola cariño, have you picked up Mateo from preschool yet?” Carlos’ voice comes through the phone.

“Hi, I’m with your mom, we went out for a brunch date, I’m actually on my way to go pick him up right now, where are you?” You say as you pull out of the parking lot.

“I just finished golfing with my father, we were on our way back so I was thinking if it would take you more time then I would pick up Mateo.” Carlos says.

"No it's fine, the preschool is barely 10 mins away from here. How was golfing?" You say as you drive towards your son's preschool with your mother in law.

"I got a hole in one, th-", Carlos says as he's interrupted by his father.

"Hola Y/N, your husband cheated." Carlos Sainz sr, your father in law, says quickly.

"Eres sólo un mal perdedor, cariño. (you are just a sore loser, honey)" Reyes laughs as she tells her husband.

The conversation ends as you pull up at your son's preschool. His face lights up the moment he sees your car, as soon as you step in the gate, Mateo's joyous voice rings, "MAMAAA".

You pick Mateo up in your arms and carry him till the car while conversing with him. His face lights up even more when he sees his abuela in the car too.

"How was your day bubba? Abeula came too because she missed you." You ask him as you strap in him the baby seat.

"It was bueno (good). I did counting today." Mateo says as he imitates counting on his fingers.

"Mateo, tu papá te consiguió un auto en el que puedes conducir. (Mateo, Your papa got you a car that you can drive in)" Reyes says as you drive.

"¿Auto? como el de papa? (car? like papa's?)" Mateo tilts his head as he asks, clearly curious.

"Un poco diferente al de papa. (a little different that papa's)" You say as you guys arrive at you and Carlos' house.

"Hola hola." You greet your husband by kissing his lips when you enter and hug your father in law.

They seem to be watching moto gp but as soon as Mateo comes in with his abuela, he excitedly runs to his abuelo.

"Mateo ¿Qué pasa con papá? (what about papa?)", Carlos says as he feigns hurt.

Mateo's favourite one in the whole family is definitely his grandfather. Whenever people ask Mateo who is his best friend, he always says his abuelo.

Carlos sneakily goes to the abuelo-nieto (grandfather-grandson) duo and picks up Mateo and tickles him. Mateo's sweet laughter rings throughout the living room.

"Quiero ver bluey (i want to watch bluey)", Mateo whines and points at the tv when he sees the tv on but it's not showing his favourite show.

"Carlos, Sabes que quiere ver su programa cada vez que ve la televisión encendida (You know he wants to watch his show whenever he sees the tv on). You know what show him his new car, its in the backyard, that will distract him." You tell your husband.

"Mateo, vamos a ver tu auto (Mateo lets go check out your car)." Carlos says as he takes Mateo with him to the backyard. Mateo runs towards the car and immediately sits in it.

"Bebé, ten cuidado, ¿vale? No hay derivas, ¿vale? (baby be careful okay. No drifts okay?)", you say to your son.

Mateo, just like his father, drives fast and crazy. With every drifty turn he's making in his toy car, your heart drops to your stomach in fear he's going to hurt himself.

"¡¡CUIDADOSO!! (CAREFUL!!)"

"MATEO!"

"Mateo conduce bebé lento! (Mateo drive slow baby!)"

This is how he's driving for context.

You shriek until he finally stops and smiles for the picture his abuelo is taking.

"Bien, comamos y veamos Bluey ahora, ¿eh? (Okay, let's eat and watch bluey now huh?", You try to convince your son and luckily it works. He gets out of the car and dashes to the couch.

"¿Por qué le compraste ese auto peligroso? (Why would you get him that dangerous car?) He could have seriously hurt himself." You smack your husband's chest as he comes up behind you and hugs you from the back.

"Haha, Si te estás volviendo loco por esto, ¿cómo reaccionarás cuando empiece a hacer karting? (If you're freaking out about this then how will you react when he starts karting?)" He laughs and kisses you lightly on the lip and you guys walk inside.

It's later in the evening when you go over to the couch and kiss your baby boy's head, who is peacefully sleeping. "I just want him to stay safe forever. ¿es demasiado pedir? Como su madre, eso es todo lo que deseo. (is it too much to ask for? As his mother, that's all i wish for.)

"No siempre podemos proteger a nuestros hijos, pero podemos hacer todo lo posible para garantizar que se mantengan a salvo. Sentí lo mismo que tú ahora cuando Carlos era joven y empezó a hacer karting. (We can't always protect our children but we can do our best to ensure they keep themselves safe. I felt the same way you do now when Carlos was young and he started karting.)" Reyes says to you in hoping to aid your worry. And it does.

You cuddle with Mateo on the couch as you continue conversing with your mother in law while Carlos and his dad are preparing dinner. You look down at your son who is sleeping and looking at his adorable face, you know he's gonna be alright, but it doesn't hurt if you wanna do everything in your power to protect him for a few more years, right?

#carlos sainz x reader #carlos sainz jr #f1 x reader #carlos sainz jr x reader #carlos sainz #formula one #f1 imagine #carlos sainz fluff #carlos sainz fanfic #carlos sainz imagine #carlos sainz blurb

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gloxk · 6 months

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୨♡୧ What do A.O.T characters love? ୨♡୧

Part 1 : Eren Y.

A/N: Tysm for 900! Srs i love you guys. Im not going to sit here and say sorry for taking a break if ima do it again. So just give me sum time, i got sum shit coming for yall! Yes this is going to be a series 💞.

━━━━━━━♥︎━━━━━━━

Eren loves…classy women who are mature but a freak in the sheets

Eren loves…being able to slut out his pretty girlfriend while she works on a long assignment.

Eren loves…being your favorite ex because, he knows he’ll always be the first one you call when you’re horny.

Eren loves…when you get jealous and start acting crazy, he knows he’s getting the best sex of his life after.

Eren loves…when you beg for him. He will never denied you.

Eren loves…when he shows you off. He enjoys to see people’s faces turn into an envious mess when he grabs your ass.

Eren loves…breeding, he loves using you as his personal cum sock <3.

Eren loves… dirty talk! his all time favorite to get you wet. “Lemme hear you.” “It’s mine right? Say it.” “You got it baby.”

Eren loves…watching you play with yourself, he’ll get hard thinking about it.

Eren loves…pampering! He loves taking his girlfriend out and getting her all dolled up, so he can ruin it later on.

Eren loves…phone sex! Especially when he’s far away so you face time him playing with your clit while moaning his name <3!

Eren loves…head! Getting head while he’s on the game trying to hold back his whimpers..so nobody hears him.

Eren loves…when you ride him, his hands on your waist guiding you up and down his cock! He just adores it.

Eren loves…mirror sex! Especially when he’s behind you, he gets to see all the pretty faces you make.

━━━━━━━♥︎━━━━━━━

most importantly eren LOVES me. lol con con next💞

#eyena writes♡#eren x black reader #eren jeager smut #eren jeager x reader #eren smut #eren x black fem!reader #eren x reader #eren x y/n #eren x you #plug eren #eren aot #eren yeager #eren jaeger #aot smut

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writers-hes · 10 months

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Toy Horses Outside the Brothel

You always knew Tommy as the cheerful boy who took care of you. He always knew you as the smart girl that he visited by the docks. The daughter of a prostitute, the son of a deadbeat father; a soldier who protected his country; a whore who protected him; a gangster who controlled Brimingham; and now, a wife. War changes people, you just didn't realize that war could change you both. (angst, depictions of abuse, poverty, prostitution, canon-typical themes, death, war, time jumps)

A/N: This is dedicated to @runnning-outof-time ! Thank you for giving me guidelines and for reading my work before anybody else did. You’re amazing and I wish I could write Tommy as good as you do.

Want to be tagged? navigation | main master lists | PROTECTION MASTERLIST

BIRMINGHAM, 1900:

Tommy first met her when his father took him to the docks. Arthur Shelby Sr. told impressionable young Tommy that there were kids he could play with by the docks. Tommy agreed, wanting to impress his father. On the way there, right outside of what looked like a house with many rooms, was her.

You were lonely and something in Tommy told him to play with you instead. Besides, the boys were too big around the docks. Arthur Shelby left him right outside the establishment and threw a shilling to you. You picked it up, stuffed it in your pocket, and looked at him.

He smiled at you widely, a tooth missing from his mouth and extended his hand towards you.

“I’m Tommy,” he said. You reciprocate the gesture, telling him your name and shaking his hand. You were more reserved, Tommy noticed. He was so used to the ruckus in their house that he expected every child to be as energetic as them. “Why did my father give you money?”

“He wants me to play with you while he’s inside,” you said. “I don’t have many toys but…I do have this,” you said, showing him your wooden horse toy. They were your prized possession, one of the few gifts that your father sent when he promised the world to your mother.

“Oh! I love horses,” he said. “Do you? I like watching horses,”

“Yes,” you replied. “My mother said that my father owned many. I’ve never met him though. Where do you watch horses?”

“That’s alright. Fathers hit kids. See?” he said, showing you a bruise on his side quickly. “My mother puts ice on it and it tickles. We watch it in the races. My mum takes me for my birthdays. She usednto ride a white horse before. She told me. Do you go to school?”

“No,” you shook your head. “But my mum taught me how to read and how to write. Sometimes, Big Johnny teaches me arithmetic. One plus one equals two,”

“You’re smart. Who’s Big Johnny?”

You hummed, making the wooden horse gallop on the murky ground. People in the house all told you that you were. If only poor Mary Magdalene had the means to send you to school. If only. You stop your movements and move your toy towards Tommy.

“Here,” you said. “Big Johnny is the man who runs this place. He’s kind,”

“You won’t have a toy,” he replied.

“It’s okay. I have more but they’re in my mama’s room. My father sent them. Sorry if it’s dirty,”

“Thanks,” he said. It’s the first time anyone has ever given him something without asking for it. He keeps it with him; keeps the memory of a girl who watched him intently while he played with a toy horse. That’s why when his father exited the house, with less money in his pocket, Tommy asked if he could come again next time.

When the house closed, you ran to your mother’s room. You usually had to stay out until five in the morning, sleeping on the sacks right in front of the brothel until your mother woke you up. She’s been seeing less men these days…always cooped up in her room, asking for you. She didn’t mind if you stained her bed with sweat and grease. She’d ask how your day was and you told him about Tommy, the boy you met earlier.

“I’m glad you have a friend,” she coughed into her white handkerchief. The blood stain was normal now. You were worried at first, but your mother told you to never tell anyone. You just never knew how serious it all was when you slipped once. You were talking to Big Johnny; he was teaching you how to subtract.

“If I help you, are you going to pay me?” you asked, perched on his lap. He had been the only father figure in your life. He’d help your mum surprise you for your birthdays and give you some money every now and then.

“Pay you? You’re robbing me,” he kids. “What do you need the money for?”

“I’m planning to buy mum a present. A nice handkerchief,” you said. “The one she has has blood—“

“What is it, bug?” he asked, eyebrows furrowing.

“Nothing,” you shrugged, smiling sickly sweet.

“You have to tell me,” he replied. “It’s your—your safety,”

It was your turn to look confused.

“But mum told me to never tell anyone,” you whispered, heart racing. What did he mean by it? “Why would I not be safe? I’m safe. I have mum with me,”

Big Johnny ran his hand through his hair, then his chin. You knew that it was a sign of his agitation, so you relented.

“You can’t tell anyone,” you whispered. “But mum has been coughing up blood for a while. She said it’s fine. You won’t take her from me right, Johnny?”

“Fuck, kid,” he sighed, stressed at the sudden turn out of events. “No more arithmetic today, okay? I’ll go talk to your mum. Just go outside or play or whatever,”

“Is everything okay?” you asked, panic rising in your throat. It constricts while you keep yourself from crying. “Mum will be so mad at me! Please don’t tell on me,”

“Do you know why she’s coughing up blood?” he asked, his voice serious. He knew that you had to be talked to in his “adult voice” for you to listen. You knew that he needed to be stern for you to listen.

“N-no…” your hair falls messily as you shake your head, picking on your nail beds.

“She’s sick, bug,” he said. “If we don’t do anything about it, you could get sick too. The two of you might die,” he explained. “Look, kid…you have a bright future ahead of you, alright?”

“What will you do?” you asked. “You can’t take her from me! Please, Johnny. My mum is all I have,” you cried, tears started flowing once the first one dropped.

Johnny couldn’t do anything else. He relented but locked your mother in her room. Whenever you went in, he made sure you had some face mask on to protect yourself. You only saw her for a few minutes every day. Parting her was painful and Johnny had to console you while you cried. He gave up his bunk and slept in his workspace so you won’t have to sleep with your mum.

A week later, your mum died of lung cancer.

It was too late, the doctor explained. Johnny let you stay in his bunk, never mind the fact that he had no space for himself now. He didn’t mind. You were his top priority. How is he going to raise a child in a brothel?

Your mother always told you that as long as you were with her, you would never be lonely. There was no burial, just her body being thrown and burned with the rest of Birmingham’s garbage. It made you wonder what your body would be like dead. You decided to never end up like her, one way or another you were getting out.

Tommy continued to visit you, but he knew that you were different now. It has only been a week and you’ve grown up so fast. When he arrived, a box of your toy horses was prepared for him.

“What’s this for?” he asked, eyes brightening up at the sight of the box. His father threw a shilling your way again.

“It’s for you. I don’t want to play anymore,” you said. “I kept one white horse for me but you can have them.”

“Why not?” he asked, galloping the toy you gave him last week. “Thank you. I don’t have my own. I always have to share with Arthur, John and Ada.”

“My mom died…you were my first friend and you never met her,” you said, tears falling on the ground. “I’ve been living in Big Johnny’s room,”

“I’m sorry for your loss,” he said. “My Aunt Pol says that friends are there for each other. I’m…I’m your friend,”

You smiled a teary smile, appreciating the underlying message behind his words. He’ll be there for you. But until when?

BIRMINGHAM, 1905

Fifteen, you were fifteen. You haven’t even turned fifteen for a week and you were working. The owner of the house told Big Johnny that if you wanted to keep living there, you would have to work too. Johnny had no place for himself, no house—his money all went to you. Your clothes, the books you’ve read, the food you ate. He'll get you a cake with a candle along with a pound for special occasions. If you were lucky, some of the girls would give you something. Tommy’s dad stopped coming and so was the shilling you got.

He stayed, though. He’d talk to you about school and how he wanted to leave.

“You’re lucky you’re in school,” you said, watching Tommy smoke a cigarette. You were never a fan if them, seeing as your mother died of fucking lung cancer. “You have to stay,”

“I’m not built for it though. They’re all so boring,” he said, blowing the smoke away. “If only I could work like you. Why are you dressed so nicely anyway?”

“The owner told me to work,” you shrugged, pulling the strap of your dress back on your shoulder. “Johnny asked the boss if I could help him with the girls and management, but he said no. Wanted me to work because it will bring more money in,” you bitterly replied. “I want to go to school but the fucking boss wanted me to present myself as a Cherry Girl. You wanna know what that is?”

“What?”

“A fucking virgin.” you shrugged. “Said many men will pay for someone like me. Today’s my first night and Johnny cried a little bit when he saw me. I’d kill and die to go to school, Tom.”

“Shit, love, I’m sorry. I was being insensitive,” he offered. “Hm, maybe you’ll bag one rich man you know? Some rich bloke from London and he’ll take you. Besides, at least you smell nice,”

“This shit is awful,” you countered, sighing. You blinked back the tears that threatened to spill. “Fuck, I said I wasn’t going to cry tonight.”

“Hey,” he said, sitting closer to you. He wraps your arm around you and lets you stay there. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I’ll stay in school and do well, okay? I’ll study so hard; I’ll take you out of here. Let you live in a mansion with lots of space to run in. Fuck, I’m sorry, love,”

“It’s not your fault, Tommy,” was your weak reply. “I’m just…I told myself that I would never be like my mother and now, I am,”

“You’re not her,” he whispered, tightening his arms around you.m, never mind if the grease and sweat of his clothes mixed with your perfume. “You’re not her.”

BIRMINGHAM, 1906

“Fuck, Tom. You can’t stay here while I’m working,” you scolded. You were lying, you appreciated the fact that Tommy was here. He’ll wait until you finish your shift, until you meet your quota. It was always quick, though. You had a rich patron that covered your every living expense.

“My patron’s coming,” you told him, and he tenses. He remembered the way you cried to him after your first ever shift last year. How some old fuck didn’t even bother. He finished and threw you some coins. He remembered his rage when you told him about this new guy. He’s quite scary but he pays the most, you said. “He doesn’t like seeing me with other men,”

“I’m a man now?” he quips, a smirk on his lips. “It’s not like I can afford it. I’m broke. Besides, I’ll act like a bodyguard, yeah? All I ask for payment is a day out with you. Aunt Poll is cooking something on Sunday. Want you to eat something that’s not whatever is being cooked here. We can go on a picnic. I met a girl who worked at this mansion, and they have lots of flowers in the garden. Shit you’ll like,”

You offered him a slight smile, nodding.

“Will your aunt be okay with…me eating your food?” you asked. Tommy took notice of how insecurity laced your voice. His suggestions of meeting his family have always been met with resistance. He understood. Although Polly has been insisting on meeting the girl he’s been spending his time with, he couldn’t risk his father recognising you and then, treating you like trash.

“Of course. She’s been more annoying. Told my mum about the girl I’m seeing,” he said. “I’ll be the first boy to take you out, hm?”

“Shut up,” was your only reply.

Sunday comes and you asked your boss for a day off.

That day, Tommy took you to the garden with Polly’s chicken stew and his mum’s fig cake. Tommy didn’t let you work, he set down the food and opened the containers.

“The best meal you’ll ever have,” he said while you sat. “I should’ve done this earlier. What have you been eating?”

“I’m lucky enough to be fed. Johnny gets me some food out of the brothel sometimes.” you said. “Thanks for taking me here. I love it.”

“I knew it,” he said, spooning out your portion and giving it to you.

“I want to have a house with lots of flowers. Different coloured blooms all year round.” you said.

“The caretaker of the garden says that we can pick some flowers. Do you want to take some home?” he asked. You nodded, a flush on your face. How could someone not love him?

BIRMINGHAM, 1908

“How have you been my angel?” he asked, twirling your hair in between your fingers. “Can’t believe I missed you last week,” he mumbles, kissing your shoulder. You giggled. “I was in London and all I could think of was you,”

“I’ve never been to London,” you told him. “Are you going to take me there?” you asked, wide-eyed. He’s been your patron since you reached 18. He was quite younger than your usual customers. He always came to visit when you were seventeen but never looked at you. As if that made it better.

“You haven’t?” he asked. “I’ll take you there, Angel. I’ll show you the whole world. Hm?”

“You will?” you asked, faux excitement in your voice. He loved this; you knew. He loved that you were a fragile little bird in need of saving. He loved that you’d listen to him talk about his father. He’s the sappy kind. He liked to hold hands, talk, and make love. He’s paid you more than anyone else and gave you a hefty allowance. Big Johnny didn’t have to think about your safety anymore. “I want to go to the city! Buy everything that I see and just…breathe a different air,” you said.

“Fuck, baby, I’ll take you there and buy you everything you ever lay your eyes on. I’m not fucking around. I’ll take you there,”

“You will?” you asked. “I don’t like the idea of you leaving me. Did you know that? Sometimes, when you leave, I have to lock myself in my room and refuse everyone,” you lied. You locked yourself in because your quota was already met. You were just saying these things to keep him coming back. A little bit of pretending never hurt you. It meant a bigger tip, more money.

“Yeah?” he asked.

“Of course,” you said. “You’re my hero…”

Somehow, you didn’t find yourself lying when you told him. You felt dirty, you felt like your mother when she thought your father would give her the world. But Simon paid big money to have you alone for multiple nights a week. No other customers were to ask for services.

“I’m your hero, alright…you’re my little bird. I’m dead set on taking you with me to London. Once I get my inheritance, I’ll show you the world and get you out of these slums.”

BIRMINGHAM, 1909

“You don’t have to do this anymore,” Tommy said. You were well enough to have your own place somewhere near the docks now. Johnny had given you some furniture that the house wasn’t using anymore, helping you fix the tables and the chairs that you would be using. You didn’t have to live at the brothel anymore and it was all thanks to Simon.

“Don’t be ridiculous, Tommy,” you chuckled. “Do you like my place?” Tommy looked around, flowerpots littered your house.

“I’m serious.” he asked. “I’ll have you safe in Small Heath,”

“And my job? What will pay for this place? I finally have enough space for my flowers.” you asked. “I can’t just leave. Come on, you have to see the view on my balcony.”

You dragged Tommy’s hand to the balcony to show him the view. You were a little far from the docks now but from your balcony you can see it. The blue water, the usual chaos…you were smiling so freely, so beautifully. Tommy stills, unspoken words lingering in the air. You could realise it too…you’ve been realising it slowly. The world was in your hands. You could seize it if you wanted it. It fills Tommy with determination. It pumps through his veins, and it rings in his ears. Determination, consistency, and power. Three things to play with the world…three things that he’ll have. He could get you a bigger house. If he played right, he could have it all.

“This is why I got this place,” you said. “I mean, there were others but the view of the docks…I used to think everything about it was so ugly, you know? So grey, so evil…so grotesque but from the vantage point, everything is different,” a soft smile played on your lips when you let go of Tommy’s hand. He already missed your touch. “I can’t leave my job now because I wouldn’t have this,”

“I’ll work for it,” he says proudly.

“Tom, I know you’re not happy with how I earn money. Fuck, I’m not happy too. I hate that job. I know you hate it when I turn down your offer. But I have nothing else. You have to support your siblings. Don’t you get it? We’re all whores, Tom. We just sell different parts of ourselves. Mine just so happens to be my body.”

It enrages him and you could see it. See his face fall apart, how his jaw ticked.

“I’ll do it.” he said. “I’ll fucking do it. You think I’m fucking around when I tell you that I’ll protect you? I will. I’ll make a name for myself and protect you. I’ll fucking protect you; I swear on my life.”

“I know you will, Tom,” you said, inching closer. “But can’t you just be happy for me? This once?”

“We could add a little chair right here,” he relented. How could he ever tell you how much he hated himself for not being enough right now? “I’ll bring some of Polly’s flowers. You’d let me stay here?”

“Only if you’re being nice,”

“What if I’m too tired to make the trip back to Small Heath? Can I stay here?” he asked.

“Sure,” you shrugged. “But only if you have food for me or something,”

“Or something? You’re not letting me stay for free? I’m your best mate,” he chuckled. “I mooch off you all the time,”

“You have more than I do. It’s time for me to mooch off on you,”

“Yeah? Well, I want yours,” he said. “I’m glad though…that you don’t have to live there anymore. You’re safer here,”

“Thank you, Tom,” you smiled, sitting by the railing of your balcony. “I’m glad too.”

“I’ll make sure you’re protected,” he promises.

“How?”

“I’ll protect you.”

BIRMINGHAM, 1910

Tommy gave you the number of his telephone years ago. You were shaking, something bad had happened and you didn’t know who else to turn to. Big Johnny was too busy breaking up fights in the bar beside the brothel. You walked home shakily. Tommy called the brothel earlier to tell you that he couldn’t make it tonight because of some gang business. It was fine, of course. So, you went to the market to buy some supplies. You just didn’t know that he would be there.

You were waiting for someone to pick up the phone, biting your perfectly manicured nails.

“Who’s calling?” a woman asked from the other line. Her tone was snippy, and you knew she meant business.

“Hi,” you cleared your throat. “I’m looking for Tommy Shelby?”

“Who is this?” she asked, confused as to why a woman would suddenly call Tommy in such a manner. She was used to Tommy’s girls calling, an embarrassment usually hinted when they spoke. But this new girl had no shame.

“I’m a friend of Tommy’s,”

“Tommy has many girlfriends. You’re going to have to be specific,” she said, intrigued.

“Oh, of course,” you said. You told her your name. “Is he there?”

“Tommy!” you could hear her voice call. “Some girl is on the phone for you!”

“What, Poll?” he asked, scowling.

“Pick up the phone, Tom. Your friend is asking for you,” she said, passing the phone to him. She didn’t leave the room immediately, sitting on the nearby chair instead to listen in.

“Tommy Shelby,” he says, and you breathed a sigh of relief.

“Tommy,” you whispered. “He was there…he was there.”

“Who, love?” Tommy asked. Polly noticed how his voice softened, how his stance relaxed. “Do you need me there?”

“He was one of my customers before,” you forced out. “He was always…rude and rough,” you choked. “I hate this fucking job, Tommy. I fucking hate it and he treated me like an object today just because he paid for my services years ago,” you sobbed. “I’m sorry. I know you were busy but I fucking hate it,”

“Shh…it’s okay, love. It’s okay. I’m going over there, and you could tell me,” he said. “Will that be alright?”

“I—yes,” you nodded, wiping your tears hastily. “I got some of your favourite fruit from the market today. Didn’t know you have an expensive taste,”

He chuckled softly.

“I’ll see you, alright?” he asked. “Keep the doors locked. I have my copy,”

“Okay, Tommy. Stay safe for me?” you asked.

“Of course.” Tommy put down the phone until he heard you end the line. He sighed and went to go get his coat until he saw Polly with an eyebrow raised. “Fuck, I didn’t see you there,”

“Who would? You were too lovestruck to notice anything,” she teased. “That’s the girl you’ve been seeing?”

“We’re friends, Pol,” he clarified.

“She’s the girl from the docks, then?” she asked. Tommy nodded. “Fuck, that’s rough. She’s a whore,”

“Don’t,” he said, an edge to his voice. “Don’t call her that. I’m trying to build something for all of us, Pol. For her. She hates her job…she fucking hates it and I can’t do anything about it,”

“You don’t have to save her, Tom. You can’t save everyone,” she said but she knew that Tommy was stubborn. Everything that she’ll say will fall on deaf ears.

“It’s all her,” he said, clearing his throat. “I’ll get her out of there if it’s the last thing I do.”

The walk to your place was unnerving. Thoughts swarmed in his head. If he only had it in him to murder the man who dared to look at you. He’s never made peace with how you earned your money, but he still happily showed up after every shift. You never talk about your customers, and he didn’t like to ask.

“Tommy, you’re here,” you greeted. He could see how swollen your eyes were; how red they were.

“Of course, I am,” he replied. “Are you okay?” He hangs his coat on the coat rack and walks towards the couch where you were seated.

“I am now,” you sniffed. “I’m sorry for making you worry but this job…people reduce me to such an object. I didn’t even know his name, you know?”

“I know, love.” he said, his heart beating inside his chest. What was it? What was the beating?

“Tommy, I’m going to make a request. It’s absurd and we haven’t done it yet…”

“What?” he whispered, unsure.

“Can-can you hold me?” you asked. “You don’t have to but…I have no semblance of what it’s like to be loved anymore. I want to pretend. At least for tonight, somebody out there loves me.”

“You don’t have to pretend,” he said. “You’re my friend. Of course, I love you.”

You only smiled, snuggling closer to Tommy. You were his friend…only a friend. How else would he look at you differently? You still had to pretend because the love that he was willing to give was not the love that you were looking for.

BIRMINGHAM, 1911

Multiple knocks on your door woke you up. Someone was screaming your name outside and you felt yourself panic. You took the gun that Tommy gifted you last year and crept down the stairs. You opened the door slowly to reveal two men—one older and one younger. The younger one had a smirk playing on his lips while the other looked panicked.

“Who are you?” you asked, tightening the gun behind your back.

“Arthur Shelby,” the one with the beard replied. You nodded. “I’m Tommy’s older brother. This is John,”

“Where…where’s Tommy?”

“He asked us to come get you,” John replied. “We mean no harm.”

“What happened to him?” you asked. “Come in,”

The brothers entered your house and watched you lay your gun on the table. An unspoken threat.

“Tommy’s not in a good place,” Arthur replied. “Well, he’s asking for you. He’s having these…episodes. I don’t fucking know what thr fuck they’re called but sometimes, he calls for you when he shuts down,”

“It's even worse today,” John added. “Our mother died,”

“Oh, shit. I’m sorry,” you said, offering a small smile. “Will you let me dress better? I’ll come with you,”

You met the brothers outside of your house, your gun secured on your skirt.

“Are you Tommy’s whore?” John asked as you walked.

“John!”

“I’m not his fucking whore,”

“So, why is he always at the brothel by the docks?” he pressed.

“We met when we were kids. Your dad used to visit the brothel with him,” you shrugged. “I never understood why your father took him there all the time. It’s a dangerous place,”

“Why were you there?”

“My mother worked there. I was born there. I grew up there,” you shrugged. “Tommy was my only friend growing up. Your father stopped coming but Tommy still managed to show up,”

“I see,” Arthur replied. “You’re the girl who gave him toy horses when we were kids, then. He never let us touch them. Even now, he has them lined up on his wall,”

“Yeah, I was. I gave it to him a week after my mother died,” you recalled.

“I’m sorry for calling you his whore,” John said. He realised now that your relationship with Tommy was deeper. It was more meaningful than he realised.

“It’s okay,” you let out a small smile. “It’s a fair assumption,”

Minutes of silence passed by, and your group stopped in Watery Lane. You’ve never been in his house before; you never had the time to do so. You were also quite ashamed to show yourself. How could you prove that you weren’t after Tommy’s money if that's exactly what you are after men?

The door of the house opens, and you assume it was Polly. The same woman who you talked to on the telephone before.

“He’s in his room upstairs. Last door to the left,” she said.

“Thank you,” you rushed to where Tommy was. You didn’t bother to stay and eavesdrop. You were there for Tommy. You knocked on his door slightly.

“Stay the fuck away from my door or I will kill you,” he shouted. You cracked the door open slightly.

“It’s me, Tom,” you said. He rose from his bed and rushed towards you, flinging his arms around you. He pulled you closer. “Hi,”

“She’s dead,” he murmurs against your hair. “My mum’s dead. My dad left. I didn’t even like him, you know? He always hit the three of us. I thought it would be better if he just fucking left but my mum died because he left. Now, I don’t have her.”

“I’m so sorry, Tommy,” you said. You knew he was still struggling after his father left many months ago. He was shaking in your arms, trying to grasp you tightly. Trying to be closer. “I’m so sorry,”

“I…I don’t know what to do,” he said. “You never got to meet her. She’d love you; you know?”

“That makes us even,” you saw a small smile on his lips. “I’m here now, Tom. You could rest,”

“You’ll still be here when I wake up?” he asked meekly, like a child.

“I’ll be here,” you nod, caressing his cheek softly. He nods, yawning after he evened out his breathing.

“Shit, love. I’m so tired,” he yawned again. “Let’s both go to sleep. We deserve it. I’ll see you when I’m awake?” he asked, adjusting your position on his small bed.

“I’ll see you,” you confirmed, snuggling closer to him.

“Tommy’s playing a dangerous game,” Polly commented from downstairs. It has been met with no resistance.

BIRMINGHAM, 1914

“Good afternoon, Pol,” you smiled. You were invited for Sunday dinner, and you decided to bring cake from the bakery that Tommy liked. You’ve only met them last year, but you’ve become such an integral part of their family that people knew you were closely associated with them. Even Simon.

“Oh, you didn’t have to bring cake,” she said. “We’d rather you spend it somewhere,”

“It’s alright,” you said. “I wanted to do something nice,”

“Keeping Tommy levelheaded is nice enough. Seriously, what did you do?” Ada asked, chopping the vegetables. She was reluctant at first but now, she couldn’t go a week without ranting to you. Girls’ night is what she called them.

“I don’t know,” you chuckled. “May I help?”

“If you could kindly chop the carrots, please,” Polly said. You set yourself and rolled your sleeves, peeling the carrots first. “Tommy and the boys went out for a while. They said it was some business with the Blinders. While they’re out, how are you?”

“Oh,” you nodded. “Me?”

“Of course. Ada has been talking my ear off about some guy she’s so secretive about,” she scoffed.

“I’ve been working less,” you confessed. “I’m helping out on the counter. Helping Big Johnny with the money and the accounts. I work a few times a week now. Simon’s been frequenting the brothel and well, you know what Simon does. It helps that he doesn’t stay long. The brothel pays me for my assistance. I can buy you cake every week now,”

“Don’t do that. Finn will be spoiled rotten,” Ada says. “Besides, you deserve nice things for yourself, you know,”

“I know but I can’t help it,” you said with a soft smile. “I like doing nice things for you,”

The boys soon come through the door, spilling with laughter. Tommy makes a beeline towards you as soon as he spots you.

“How was the afternoon?” you asked, bumping your hips with him.

“It was good,” he said. “Finn got into a fight with some kids, and we had to deal with it.”

“Is Finn okay? I brought cake.”

“Just a bruised ego,” he chuckled. My favourite?”

“Of course,” you said. “But let’s pretend that it’s for Finn, alright?”

“It’s always for Finn,” he groans. “He has you wrapped around his finger,”

“He does. He’s such a charming kid,” you praised. “Where is he, anyway?”

“Taking a bath before dinner. You have me for now,” Tommy said. “Can I sleep at your house later?” he asks in a softer tone. He’s been sleeping at your place ever since last year. He said you make him sleep better.

“You know it’s never a problem,” you said. His presence made you feel safe. He made you feel secure. “Will we leave together?”

“Yes. I’d like to sleep as soon as possible,” he says, dropping his forhead on your shoulder. You only chuckled. “I’m so tired. So, so tired,”

“Who are they fooling?” Ada asked in whispers. “Are we sure they’re best mates?”

“They’ve insisted on it for years,” Arthur shrugged. “I don’t think they’re aware,”

“I don’t think so either,” John says. “But Tommy throws a fit whenever she has to meet that Simon prick. Calls him a rich bastard.”

“He is a rich bastard,” Ada nodded. “She says he just came into his inheritance. Ammunitions,”

“Shit. She hit the jackpot, then,” John commented. “Wonder how that’s gonna go?”

“There’s nothing to wonder, John,” Arthur says. John could only nod his head.

You stumbled inside your house around half past midnight. You were both quite tipsy, having drank Pol’s stocks of wine. The Shelby Company Ltd. has been gaining more popularity now, along with the Blinders. Hell, Tommy even posted two Blinders to guard you. “For when I’m not around,” he said.

“Pol’s going to kill me for giving Finn too much cake,” you giggled, leaning on him.

“I reckon you’re banned from Sunday dinners,” Tommy jokes, taking his shoes off. He takes note of how you’re dressed today. “You know you can remove all the fucking things on your body right? Rouge…the jewels. Where’d you get them? Is the rich bastard buttering you up?”

“I like it. Dressing up makes me happy,” you frowned. “I’m allowed to like nice things, right?”

“Right,” his jaw ticked. It should be him who's giving you these gifts…showing you a lavish life. He hated it. “Later?”

“Later,” you nodded. “When I’m banned from Sunday dinners, you wouldn’t let me be left out, right?”

“‘Course not,” he shrugged, pulling you to your bedroom like he owned the place. You didn’t mind. You were happy to see that he was comfortable in your home. “You’re my best girl.”

“That’s what you say to your horses,”

“You’ve got really good horse sense and you’re always on your high horse,” he says, peeling his coat away. He was rummaging in your chest now, looking for clothes he might have left until he settled on a simple white shirt and pyjama pants.

“Yeah, yeah. You and your horse wordplay.” You entered the bathroom to dress down. Just like Tommy, you settled in his shirt and pants. They were more comfortable than singlets and you certainly didn’t want to make Tommy uncomfortable.

He was already waiting for you on the bed when you came back. He pats the space beside him. You obliged. You were looking into each other’s eyes with small smiles, Tommy’s finger trailing down your arm absentmindedly.

“I…” words died in his throat before he could get them out. “I…”

“What is it, Tom? Are you okay?”

“I’ll get you out of here,” he rasps. “I’ll get you out of there and I won’t let you work a day in your life anymore.”

“Tommy,” you sighed. “I can’t—can’t leave this job. It’s all I have,” He tightens his arms around you, afraid that you’ll ask him to let go.

“I know but once I come back from the war—“

“The war?” you asked, removing his arms around you. “War?”

“We enlisted,” he clarifies, trying to gauge your reaction. “Once I come back, I’ll be so fucking rich. I’ll have you. I’ll keep you and you won’t have to lift a finger. We’ll live in a mansion and have servants. Just like what we used to talk about,”

“Tommy, you’re going to war?” you asked, standing from the bed. His eyes watched you settle down shakily on the single chair by the bed. “Fuck. You’re going to war. You’re going to leave me,”

“No, love. Come on, I—“ he grunts, sitting up from his relaxed position.

“It’s war, Tommy! They change people…I don’t want to lose you; do you not get that? Are you not happy here? Is that why you're throwing your life away?”

“I’m not throwing my life away,” he says, a frown. “We’ll be drafted one way or another because we’re poor. Might as well do it now than be forced. Some of my men will still watch over you every now and then. They’ll still make sure that you’re safe. We’ll send letters. Alright?”

“Letters,” you scoffed. “And what if the letters stopped coming?”

“Don’t say that, please,” he begs. “I’m doing this for all of us. The business will be handled by Polly and when I’m back, I’ll make it even bigger. Alright? You have to trust me,” You didn’t even want to ask about the business. You didn’t want to ask why more men wore peaky caps. You didn’t want to ask what the Shelby Company Ltd. really was. Not now.

“I know you will, Tom,” you said. “But I’m scared. For the first time since I’ve known you, you won’t be here. I’m scared,”

Tommy lays his hand on your shoulder. Words he couldn’t say lingered in the air. I’ll marry you once I step foot in England. He didn’t know what else to say; didn’t know if there was still something to say. So, he kneels before you and makes you look at him. You were crying. So afraid, so alone.

“I’m sorry,” he says.

“When will you be leaving?”

“I have two more days,” he says. “Will I still see you?”

“Yes, of course,” you said. “You’ll come back for me?”

“Of course. I have a picture of you already in my pocket. I have to make sure to come back to you,” he said. “and everyone else, of course.”

He fishes a necklace from his pocket, his mother’s locket.

“Here,” he said, showing it to you. It was one of the last pieces of jewellery she owned. “Mum gave it to me. You know I’ve always worn it. I want you to wear it now. Think of it as a loan, yeah? You’ll give it back once we see each other again,”

“Tommy, I—“

“I want you to accept it. I want you to see you wear it now. I want to see you wear it before I leave. But most of all I want for us to stay the same,” he says, holding you and kissing your hair softly. You couldn’t push him away. You’ve longed for this your whole life. To be held, to feel loved. It’s all you’ve ever wanted.

“I’m sorry. So, so, so fucking sorry.”

“I don’t think you’re wasting your life away,” you cleared your throat. “I’m so—I’m so proud of you and your bravery. I’m so proud of you but I can’t be fucking happy for you. I don’t want to wake up every day knowing that you’re not here. I don’t want to have to guess if you were alive or not.”

“I am,” he promises. “I’ll be alive. I’ll come back as your Tommy. Just…wait for me, alright?”

You clung onto Tommy two days later by the train. He whispered that he would come back. He said that he will make sure of it. He breathes in the smell of your hair—roses. He envelopes you in his arms once more and turns to leave, never looking back. You knew, in your hysterics, that if he comes back from the war, the same old Tommy you used to know would never be.

PART 2 PART 3

TAGLIST: @shelbydelrey @runnning-outof-time @duckybird101 @thenattitude @swordofawriter @litteltourtius @trixie23 @everythingelseisextra

#tommy shelby x reader #thomas shellby x reader #tommy shelby #peaky blinders x reader #peaky blinders #hurt/comfort #tommy shelby angst #thomas shelby angst #cillian murphy

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obsolescent · 9 months

Note

You’re gonna hate seeing my name every time you open this app from how much I do and will resquest you 😭

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZGJG8npPb/

Here me out. This but^

Single mother y/n with a kid and ghost just came back from a mission and needed to buy something for his small house and sees y/n struggling to pick some heavy things up while her kid keeps laughing and saying everything like the girl in the video. i have so many other requests I’d love to because you’re writing is probably my favorite /srs. hope you have a nice end of the month. Love ya 🩷

The Necessity of Saints

Part Two (NSFW)

Pairing: Simon ‘Ghost’ Riley x SingleMom!Reader

Author's Notes: Ough, I had fun writing this out. Love these prompts so much, you don't understand! I will never tire of requests I promise, they fill me with so much motivation and I'm so happy I'm one of your favorites, that means so much to me!! I hope you enjoy this and hope you’re having the best month!! I am not opposed to writing a spicier second part to this, just let me know ♡ Once again I am thinking about Simon showing off his muscles and being happy to help someone in need.

Content warnings: Feminine reader, reader uses she/her pronouns and uses mom, your daughter is named Rhea.

“Good Lord, why does wood have to be so HEAVY,” you grunt out, trying unsuccessfully to pull the wooden beam out of the pile. Your kid stands off to the side, stifling her giggles with her hand, finding much enjoyment in your predicament. You stand up and stretch your limbs, getting ready for another go at it. You take a deep breath, bending with your knees, and begin pulling again, with more force behind it.

Sweating dripping off your brow, you continue to tug at the piece of wood, pleading with it to just MOVE. “Can someone help my mama?” Your kid finally yells out, causing you to whirl towards her with a panicked look on your face. “Rhea!” You hiss, seeing your phone in her hands, recording your ordeal. “Please, someone, my mama won’t ask for help and she needs it!” Rhea exclaims, drawing out the end of ‘please’.

“Stop filming me struggling, dammit!” You try to contain your own laughter, hurrying back to continue pulling, hoping to finally get it to move before anyone hears your daughter’s yelling, not wanting an encounter with a random stranger. Rhea continues to hoot and holler, hoping to garner attention to you both. Your face now red from a mixture of stifled laughter, exertion, and embarrassment.

“What’s all this, then?” A gravelly voice booms out, halting yours and your daughter's movements. You both turn towards the voice, finding a large, tall man, standing off to the side, hands on his hips. His brown eyes glitter with what looks to be amusement, probably been watching quietly for a while. Your ears burn, straightening up and wiping your hands off on your shirt.

“I’m so sorry to bother your shopping, please ignore my–” “My mama won’t ask for help and she needs it! Please help her!” Your daughter cuts you off. You put your hands over your face, groaning. “Is that all?” He asks, raising a blond eyebrow at your kid. She nods, finally putting the phone down after succeeding in her mission.

“Alright then, let’s have at it,” British accent now noticeable after the initial shock, he walks over to the wood you’re standing in front of, easily lifting a beam into his arms. “How many?” He asks, looking towards you. You stand there in shock, at how easily he was able to lift it, to his bulging muscles now able to be seen through his shirt.

“J-just that one, sir. I need it cut into three 6-inch pieces, though,” You stutter out, realizing your gaze had been on him for too long. That glint in his eyes doesn’t go away, you assume he noticed the staring. “To the wood-cutting area, then?” He turns, walking off in the direction of the wood-cutting services. You and your daughter share a look before scurrying after him.

Once you arrive, you tell the associate what you want, and they begin the process. The three of you stand off to the side while they cut, looking over at the man, you begin speaking. “I really appreciate what you did for us, thank you…?” “Simon,” He offers his name, you giving your own and your daughter’s. “Thank you, Simon. Is there anything I can do to repay you for helping?” You ask, reaching for your bag. “Don’t worry about it,” He grunts out, walking forward to grab the pieces they’ve finished with, loading them onto a cart.

Once they’re done, he wheels the cart towards the checkout, paying for the wood. “Oh! Sir, you don’t have to–""Don’t worry about it, love,” He says again, adding ‘love’ to the end of this one, causing your cheeks to redden. Once the transaction is complete, he pulls the cart outside. “The car park is pretty big, you can pull your car up to the entrance, I’ll load it.” He says, You nod, you and Rhea walk quickly to your car, getting inside and buckling in.

You pull your car around to the front of the store, opening the trunk. He begins loading the wood inside, making quick work of the now smaller pieces. Once done, he comes around to your side of the car. You roll your window down, going to thank him again, when he holds his hand up. “Could’ve hurt yourself. Just ask for help next time, yeah? Don’t have to do everything alone,” He says, causing your mouth to fall open, like he read your mind. “But, if you’re privy to certain help, you can always give me a ring,” He hands over a card with a number on it, with his full name, ‘Simon Riley’.

“Thank you, Simon. I’ll be sure to let you know,” You say, bashfully. He smirks, “Have a lovely day, you two,” He says, before walking back inside the store. You roll your window up, pulling away from the entrance. You’re driving for a bit, both silent, before Rhea finally speaks up, “He was really cute, and nice. You should text him.” You sputter. “Rhea! I have no idea who he even is–""Get to know him! He was, like, totally checking you out, and so were you,” She says, looking over at your blushing face. “I don’t know…” You trail off. You hadn’t done much dating in a very long time. Not having much time for it between your daughter and work. Now that Rhea is a teenager, maybe you could have some time to find a relationship?

Seemingly reading your mind (ya’ll gotta stop doing that), she adds, “I’m old enough to watch myself, go have some fun!” You roll your eyes, a smile forming on your face. Maybe he wouldn’t be against seeing you under different circumstances?

Arriving home and maneuvering the now much easier to handle wooden pieces, you set them in a pile inside the garage, for your upcoming project. Once inside and settled in, you pull out the card and contemplate what you’ll say. You add his number to your contacts and pull up a message screen for him. You let him know it’s you and add,

‘I would really like to get to know you more, if you’re not opposed?’

A few minutes later, he responds.

‘Not at all opposed, love. Just let me know what time is best for you x’

#o fics #simon ghost riley x reader #simon riley imagine #simon ghost riley imagine #simon riley x reader #simon ghost riley #simon riley #simon riley x you #simon ghost riley x you #ghost x reader #simon ghost x reader #call of duty x reader #call of duty x you #ghost cod #simon riley fluff #simon ghost riley fluff

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randomgurl2326 · 4 months

Text

Andromeda and Perseus: Destined

Prologue

Harry Potter Masterlist

Series Masterlist

Moodboards

Welcome to the first part of Andromeda and Perseus: Destined!!!! I am SO excited to start this and see where this goes. Thank you to everyone who took a chance on this fic. Really, from the bottom of my heart, thank you💚💜 Now, on with the show…

P.S.: please tell me what you think about this and if I should improve it and republish it later. If you can’t already scared, I’m scared out of my mind😭

May 29th, 1986

Outside Malfoy Manor

“Tag! You’re it!” The sound of the four children playing outside Malfoy Manor, not a care in the world. While inside the Manor, more nefarious dealings are going on…

Theodore Nott, Y/N Riddle, Mattheo Riddle, and Draco Malfoy were inseparable for their age, though each had their favorite. Y/N aside Theodore and Mattheo aside Draco. Neither of the four was rarely seen far from the other, the group causing mischief when their parents weren’t looking (or in the twins’ case, their caretakers, the Malfoy’s).

As time sees it currently, the Core Four as they so deemed themselves, were playing tag. Currently, the older of the twins–Mattheo–was the tagger, heading straight for his sister, laughing maniacally.

“Come on, Y/N/N! Give your big brother a hug,” the Riddle boy tumbles towards his sister (who currently is using Theodore as a shield), arms wide open.

Y/N laughs, shielding herself from her brother, “Teddy, save me!”

“Don’t worry! I got you,” the curly-haired Nott boy shields the tiny girl from her bumbling brother.

Mattheo comes barreling into Theo saying, “You’re it, Theo!”

Y/N quickly lets go of the boy and runs with the other two, laughing and yelling. Mattheo and Y/N go running to Draco trying to sway Theodore to go towards him instead. Though making the mistake of looking back, Y/N runs into her brother, making him fall onto the Malfoy boy. Theodore, not seeing what had occurred between the three, preceded to fall onto all three.

For a split second, everything goes quiet between the four. Each eyeing the other intently. Suddenly, a chorus of laughs erupts from the Core Four. The laughs were the loudest and the hardest they had ever shared (though not saying much as they were all of six at the time).

None of the children knew it, but this would be one of the last times they would ever laugh nearly as hard until they reached their mid-twenties. Because in a few years time, things would take a drastic turn for the worse. The stars would seem darker, memories would seem bleaker, and happiness would feel as if a thing of the past.

Another thing none of the children knew was what dealings were currently unfolding inside the house between Lucius Malfoy and Theodore Nott Sr., nor what was brewing between two certain children currently staring at each other intently with happiness within their eyes. Not knowing how much truth the nicknames they had deemed each other with would hold…

The three boys stood, Y/N still lying content on the drive of Malfoy Manor.

Theo held out his tiny hand smiling the biggest smile he ever smiled, “Ready, Andromeda?”

Y/N grabbed his tiny hand with her own, the same infectious smile gracing her face, “Ready, Perseus.”

They were in fact NOT READY…

May 29th, 1986

Inside Malfoy Manor

“That settles it then.” The strict voice of Lucius Malfoy emanates through the room, “Your boy and the sole daughter of the Dark Lord will be wed in the summer of their sixth year.”

Theodore Nott Sr. nods stiffly, his Italian accent prominent as he voices, “A match of the Dark Lord himself.”

The wives of the two Death Eaters–Narcissa Malfoy and Circe Nott, best friends–look at each other in trepidation, already aware of their husband’s intentions beforehand. The knowing look they gave each other calmed and confirmed their worried thoughts of their husband’s business dealings. Wishes for the children to be able to choose their own destinies (although, both knew that the younger Riddle twin and the Nott boy would end up in each other's arms either way) swirling unsaid through the air.

Outside, the rain starts. The children rush inside in, hushed whispers dissipating as they reach the eyes of the adults sensing the serious atmosphere, smiles still apparent on their faces.

Narcissa and Circe give each other one last glance before they turn to the Core Four and smile. “Come here little ones,” the voice of Narcissa rang out through the lounge room, opening her arms. The children rush towards their respective mother figures, going on about their day of tag.

Lucius and Nott Sr. reenter the room calling the attention of the children. Theodore Sr. clears his throat, “Theodore, Y/N. Would you please join us?”

The brown-haired boy and the h/c girl look to each other and join Theo’s father and Y/N’s temporary father figure inside the large, dark office.

Malfoy gestures to two seats before the best friends, “Sit. We have much to discuss…”

That evening, the Nott boy and the Riddle girl lost the first piece of their innocence, learning as to what was to be expected of them. At the age of six, both betrothed to each other for an eternity.

At least they would always be each other’s Perseus and Andromeda…

Next Chapter…

———————————————————————————-

I CANT believe it, first chapter of Perseus and Andromeda: Destined already out! I truly cannot believe it! This is my first real fic, and I am absolutely besotted for it to actually come to fruition. Thank you to ALL of you whether you’re new or old.

I’m sure you guys are just as excited as I am to join Theo and Y/N on their journey of love, heart-break, and everything in-between. (Little spoiler alert: they both receive the happy ending they deserve.)

As always, advice is ALWAYS appreciated, along with comments, likes, and of course: reblogs.

Again, THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!!!💚💜 I love you all!! Always feel free to talk to me, whether you need to get something off your mind or talk about something totally insane, I WILL BE THERE!

Taglist:

@elsie-bells @cinderellawithashoe @niktwazny303 @claranunez @desiray562 @jetblackpayne @fandom-life-12 @hanversace @trshngyn @silencionyx @c-dizzle99 @starmansirius @ssc7514 @amwhy

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its-time-to-write · 10 months

Note

Hi!! I’ve got a request that I’ve been thinking of for a while (but if you don’t vibe with it, that’s cool). I’m imagining something after the S1 Richmond vs Man City game, where Jamie goes to reader for comfort, both because his dad sucks (obviously) but also because like? Jamie’s football hero got badly injured and will probably never play again because he tackled Jamie? I just feel like Jamie would be upset and think Roy’s retirement is partially his fault.

😎

you don’t want to know me

It’s fucking late.

It’s fucking late and you’re still awake.

It’s always like this after a Man City game, and it’s been like this since they signed Jamie Tartt. You’ve been friends for ages, always running in the same circles. Your friendship of proximity has now turned into a real friendship, although you hadn’t seen him since he was loaned to Richmond.

You’d been at the game, because you never missed a match. Man City was your team ever since you moved to Manchester and you have to say, it was weird to see Jamie. You were proud of him for making the extra pass because it was different than how he had been playing, and a brilliant move to rely on his team. The only thing you didn’t like was thinking about why Jamie played selfishly. You just hope James Tartt, Sr. is far, far away from Manchester, from the match, and from Jamie.

You settle into your bed with the lights dimmed, ready for a long, sleepless night.

You’ve been staring at the plant on your dresser for so long that it’s starting to look distorted. You sigh and think about Jamie again. A branch taps your window and you groan. Fucking wind.

You roll over and it taps again with more insistence. It sounds like little rocks.

You remember you don’t have a tree outside your window and you bolt up. You flip off the lights and pull the curtains back to reveal Jamie Tartt throwing stones at the glass like you’re teenagers again. You turn the light back on and give him a one second motion.

You hurry downstairs, turning the light on in the living room as you go, and unlock your front door. Jamie stands in the porch light, so different from the last time you saw him. He says, “Can I come in?” so you move aside.

He’s just standing awkwardly in your kitchen, still in his Man City tracksuit. His hair is slicked down and you have the urge to run your fingers through it to muss it a little. Make him look how he used to.

“D’you- d’you want something to eat?” you ask and he’s a little taken aback. You wonder who’s been taking care of him, if anyone. He gives you a little half nod, and you wordlessly point to the couch. He sits there stiffly as you pull out a plate and some leftovers, and put them in the microwave. You silently hand the plate to Jamie and sit on the couch next to him.

He’s not in a talking mood and neither are you, necessarily, but you’re absolutely sure he hasn’t actually talked to anyone in ages. Georgie has stopped mentioning him so much so you figure he must not be calling her anymore. That’s why you bite the bullet and say, “It was your dad, wasn’t it?”

Jamie nods.

“And seeing Roy Kent injured, too, right?”

He nods again and puts down the fork.

“I mean, he’s a dick and all, and he fucking hates me, but his poster was on my wall. He was my hero. And I fucking- I fucking injured him. It was my fault. He was chasing me down and he tackled, and broke his fuckin’ knee. And then me dad-” Jamie can’t speak for a minute. “He was just there, and he said a bunch of shit and pushed me around. Felt like a kid again.”

It’s funny. This isn’t the first time Jamie’s showed up like this, but it’s the first time in his Premier League career. You wonder why he chose now.

You choose silence, taking the plate from him and setting it on the coffee table. You unzip his jacket and help him shrug it off, then give into the urge to mess up his hair. You move your hands slowly toward his head and he flinches the tiniest bit. His hair is crunchy and he needs a shower, but you think he needs human contact first.

There’s nothing you can say to make this better, so you choose to say something that won’t make it worse.

“Do you want to spend the night?”

Jamie looks up at you with that same surprised look, breaking your heart a little.

“You have to shower first,” you warn. “I just washed my sheets.”

Jamie nods.

“C’mon,” you say, standing up with his hand in yours. “I’ll show you where the bathroom is.”

Jamie leaves his jacket on the couch as he follows you. You’d sell your soul for this boy, and you think maybe he knows it. You’ve been in love with him for the longest time and sometimes you could almost convince yourself he felt the same way.

You were really convincing in times like these.

“Alright. Here’s the shower, it should have everything you need. Extra towel’s right behind the door.”

You turn to leave, but Jamie tightens his grip on your hand.

“Stay,” he pleads. “I’m not tryin’ anything, I just hate showering alone. You can sit on the sink for all I care, I just can’t be fucking alone.”

You won’t refuse him. You nod and he slips behind the shower curtain, throwing his clothes over the top and onto the floor.

He’s not in there long and doesn’t say much, just asks you to throw a towel over.

You go to your room to give him some privacy and sit on the bed until Jamie appears in your doorway. He’s in his Man City track pants and no shirt, damp hair falling in his face.

You ask, “Do you want the left side?” and Jamie nods, so you move to get under the covers and pat the bed. Jamie slides under the sheets, smelling like lavender. You’d think you would both be stiff and awkward, but you’re not. You’re pulled to each other like magnets, like gravity. That’s why you wrap your arms around each other and thread your legs together.

“I love you,” Jamie murmurs.

“I know, Jaim,” you whisper.

“No. I mean it. Always meant to say something, but I figured we’d end up together eventually. All the times I showed up at your door, even as kids, I wanted to tell you. I was too fucking scared you didn’t feel the same way, but I don’t give a shit anymore. Life’s short. I need you to know.”

You brush a strand of hair out of his eyes. “You really think I’d let you in my bed if I didn’t love you?”

Jamie snuggles closer to you and you’re going to have a lot of things to talk about. For now, though, you’re going to get some fucking sleep.

#jamie tartt x reader #jamie tartt fanfiction #jamie tartt imagine #jamie tartt x y/n #jamie tartt x you #jamie tartt #ted lasso

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greenboyfriend · 3 months

Text

choose a fish to fill you with whimsy & glee! (tarot reading)

"what can you look forward to?" image 1: this guy's got it all figured out. he's able to breathe above water due to the bowl of water superglued to his face. one might even assume he has prosthetic legs, or perhaps even feet... image 2: the ideal male figure... you may not like it, but it's a fish with a broom as a tail and no internal organs. image 3: a fish that doesn't resemble anything in particular. no... not at all! image source not everything may resonate with you, and that's ok! take what does & leave the rest. don't force it.

1.・。.・゜✭

you guys!!! there is something very wonderful in store for you, so long as you’re able to get yourself out of this rut! you may be feeling powerless, suffering some sort of attack, and being forced into the role of the victim. however! justice means to tell you that there is a major change that must be made on your part. instead of letting yourself be victimized, take action! use those emotions you’re feeling to tackle this challenge with passion– take that risk!! don’t be afraid to get creative, too. above all, and no matter what it takes, you’re going to need to address this, and with confidence. in a broader sense, this situation is teaching you how to overcome a fear of yours. maybe you’re not the best at asserting yourself, but that’s ok! we’re all learning!! take this as a step in the right direction. the extremely right direction, i might add, as the 9 of cups and justice seem to imply, this will be a very fruitful endeavor for you. the 9 of cups is often referred to as the “wish” card, because it represents having your wish fulfilled. after you take action, i see this result leaving you feeling quite pleased with yourself, and even a little smug! as you may know, justice is no card to be trifled with, so keep in mind that the actions you take regarding this situation will heed important results. do what you know is right and believe in yourself! you can do it!!! all of these cards are reversed-- except 10 of swords-- indicating that they're meant to inform your future actions (in the next few days, or next week). so don't worry if you haven't thought about it too much yet. but please remember that justice does not play! believe in yourself, you'll know when the time is right. there is some 18+ info beyond this point... click the link to read the rest but be warned its literally 2 sentences and NO ONE UNDER 18 SHOULD fucking READ IT! /srs link

(10 of swords, page of wands reversed, 9 of cups reversed, justice reversed)

2.・。.・゜✭

hello my silly little broom fish. you’ve been working hard! if you haven’t, expect to work hard soon! you will be taking on a new project or adventure, which will require your full attention. i’m thinking, some of you guys might be taking a new class, or be receiving training of some kind. you’re going to need to put your all into this! you may already have an idea of what to expect, but some things will be new, too. take the time to really get into the minute details, tie up loose ends, and recheck, then rerecheck, and rererecheck just for good measure. this may also be a way for you to expand your horizons, and become a leader. if you have a good idea, share it! you may end up showing others the way, and being a representative of some kind. remember, though, to be painstaking about this, and really brush up on those fine details. along the way, make sure you’re keeping yourself on course. if you need a moment to reflect and think about where you’re going, consider it a part of the process. while it is also a good idea to consider other perspectives, keep in mind that you’re here for a reason. you may have to assert your position & really push for your way of doing things. again, if someone else has an idea, don’t underestimate it, but don’t underestimate yourself, either! this may take the form of having to resist authority, and you may have to be firm. in doing this, you may also be able to reap a reward of some kind! remember, there are so many people in the world that would push for their perspective no matter what, even if they haven't researched it at all. based on the 8 of pentacles, you most certainly have researched, so believe in yourself! make that stand!!... well, when it comes to. all of these cards are reversed, so this situation is likely to come into fruition in the future-- in the next few days, or possibly next week. mull over it for a while. when you start to see the signs, seize your opportunity!

(8 of pentacles reversed, 3 of wands reversed, 7 of pentacles reversed, 7 of wands reversed)

3.・。.・゜✭

ok go off!!!! or somefin it’s time to commit to that regimen. whether that’s eating healthier, taking more time for yourself, or, if you’re like me, trying to practice more self kindness, creating an organized structure/routine is likely to help. so, for example, i’ll take my own life into account: i’ll often think certain thoughts can make me feel bad about myself without me totally realizing it, and lately i’ve been trying to change how i talk to myself. i use a systematic approach, in that i recognize the thought, then force myself to replace it with a positive one, instead. it seems silly at first, but the more that i stick to this method, the more success i’m seeing! this is just my example, but can be applied to your own situation! it’s always tough to start something new, but a month or two in, or maybe even a week, you see improvement. & it’s ok to make mistakes! you may be focusing too much on what you lack, or your shortcomings. there may also be setbacks keeping you from achieving your goals, or maybe you’re convinced that you made the wrong decision. know that it’s always darkest before the dawn!! you may be in a bad place right now, and if you are, consider how you can make things easier on yourself. instead of letting yourself be a martyr, or feel powerless, do what you know will make you feel better. like that new god forsaken ariana venti song, be your own damn best… friend. it’s wise counsel. both of the readings above this are about the future, but for you, i think this is very much about the present. with all cards facing you except temperance, there is a story unfolding, where you complete some unfinished business, and find peace. the peace part is likely in the future, with it being reversed and all, but the time for action seems imminent, or already happening. i think you probably know what you need to do. whatever those plans are that you’ve been sitting on, make them happen! i just keep getting “declare yourself openly”!!! so do with that what you will. you may even discover some sort of missing truth, keeping you from seeing things fully. you may also be swept up into the tides of change, and witness all the elements fit seamlessly into place. so hey! enjoy!

(the emperor, 5 of cups, 8 of wands, 10 of swords, temperance reversed)

#tarot #tarotblr #tarot reading #tarotcommunity #tarot cards #pick a card #pick a picture #pick a pile #spiritual #spirituality #witchblr #witchcraft #witch community #pac #pacs #pick a fish #pick a photo #pick an image

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smoothoper44tor · 2 months

Text

Do you love me enough I may be weak in front of you?

Pairing: carlos sainz x alonso male! reader

Genre: slow burn! friends to lovers

Face claim: juan josé ballesta

Warning: open end, cussing, english is not my first language

master list | 2 part

“Dad, check out! Uncle Mark bought me ice cream” a short boy with coffee curls appeared in the Renault garage. He was showing off an enormous vanilla ice cream the australian had got him, been full aware his father threat him not to.

“Look Pelayo, this is Carlos” The boy smiled shyly, bringing his hand up. The curly-haired boy gave him a wide smile, showing his missing teeth.

“Hey, I’m Pelayo, but my friends call my Pela. You can call me like that if you want” His rambling was sweat at Carlos’ eyes “Are you a fan of my dad? Do you like karts? I-” The driver stopped him by putting a hand in his son back.

“Hey, buddy relax” he said, containing a laugh at Pelayo’s mouth full of ice cream “Why don’t you show Carlos around?” He asked, while looking at Carlos Sr. The man nodded at him, approvingly.

His son’s eyes were glowing as they walked around the garage, he was taking photos of everything with his canon camera.

“Pela, let’s take a photo” The kid smiled while throwing himself at his companion. Both hugged each other as the photo was taken. “So, where do you guys live?” He purred fidgeting. Pelayo’s attention was mostly in the little black camera as he watched the photos Carlos had taken, but hummed to let the other boy know he was listening.

“We lived in Oviedo, but had to move to Madrid when my parents got divorced, because of the shared custody” the olive skinned one pat him in the shoulder with his lips pressed in a comforting smile.

“You know, the good thing is I live in Madrid too” Pelayo’s expression lighted, clapping his hands exited. “You live in the center?”

“No, no. We live in Tres Cantos” he shakes his curls “But we can meet, one of us could take the train” Carlos shuttered, his father wouldn’t allow him to go all the way to tres cantos alone, but he could always ask the man to drive him. “We are gonna be the best friends, I sense it” He threw his arm around the other’s neck, giving him a friendly squish. “Oh! You are gonna love my father’s helmet collection. It’s huge!”

Carlos and Pelayo’s relationship grew as time went by. They emailed each other almost every day, meeting always they could on the weekends too.

Pelayo had this tradition of going with his father karting every Friday the man didn’t race, when he befriended with Sainz, he practically forced him into the plan, always inviting him. Fernando went from asking if he was coming to ask when were they picking him up.

“You’re so lucky” Carlos murmured as he watched with glee the hot wheels track Pelayo had built in his room.

“I told you, you were gonna loooove it” He grinned, showing his teeth, now covered with blue brackets. “Choose a car, let’s play”

Carlos hated horror movies, why watch some creepy monsters when you could see a thrilling action movie? Pelayo, on the other hand, loved them. Lately, he got obsessed with a movie about some alien. He insisted on watching it once he convinced Carlos to come sleep at his house. It was night, and they were supposed to be sleeping, instead they were covered with a blanket watching the damn movie. Carlos kept on leaning closer, trying to cover the screen with his friend's figure. As he did so, his face brushed against Pelayo’s buzz cut. “I miss your curls” Carlos brought his hand to his shaved head, briefly laughing at it.

“I can grow it back” he said absently, eyes on the screen. Carlos smiled, letting his head rest in the other’s shoulder.

“I fucking did it, hell yeah!” He screamed, jumping from his skate and almost falling “You filmed it, tell me you filmed it” Carlos face beaming as he checked for the video.

“I filmed it” He showed the brunette proudly. They finally let themselves fall into the grass next to the Sainz’s house. Pelayo had been showing Carlos all the tricks he learned lately all the afternoon, forcing him to film it. “Hey, so Isa invited me over to her house” Carlos’ cheeks were on fire, avoiding looking at the boy next to him.

“Congrats, big men! Your first date” He cheered, playing with the Carlos thick ash-brown hair.

“Yeah, but there’s a problem” He closed his eyes strongly, finding the strength to talk. Finally looking at Pelayo, he found a pair of heavy green eyes staring back at him. His curls, large again, falling against his olive skin perfectly, bringing out his features. Shit “I- She tried to kiss me, but I pushed her. I pushed her away” ‘because I didn’t want her to kiss me’ he thought.

“What! Are you nuts?” Pelayo exclaimed shrilly.

“Man I don’t know” Sainz couldn’t bring himself to admit having a crush in his best friend of three years now, it was so recent and so embarrassing “I’ve never kissed anyone” Carlos confessed, his tan skin was redder than it has ever been.

“There’s always a first time” he joked bubbly.

“Yeah, no but-” Pelayo scanned the teenager calming, trying to figure out the reason of his sudden fluster “Could you…kiss me?” He finally let out in a rush, wobbly.

“Carlos dude what-” Almost choking, the curled haired boy brought himself up, sitting in confusion.

“No, no, just to practice. Please I-" He kept going, hoping he could erase what he just said, to not make it look so bad. “Just imagine it’s Ana” Ana was Pelayo’s thing at the moment. They weren’t dating, but Carlos saw them kissing multiple times. Weird shit.

“What? No. I know it’s you” The Sainz boy hide his face in between his hands, punishing himself in humiliation.

“You’re right, it was a bad idea” he muttered. Pelayo felt a sudden wave of sorry. It was not the big thing after all, just a kiss. He could do that for Carlos, he didn’t mind at all.

“Carlitos?” He grabbed Carlos’ hand. His doe eyes met with Pelayo’s dilated ones, his heart race increasing worryingly as the brunette’s firm breath began to fade into his own. Lips barely touching, until Carlos leaned closer, sliding his hand to Pelayo’s rosy cheek.

Years went by, no mention of the kiss or their flaming feelings. Keeping them a secret was less painful than the undeniable embarrassment of speaking out.

Carlos grew into a Toro Rosso Formula 1 pilot. Sounds big. Pelayo got carried away by the world of swimming instead, surprisingly turning into a very skilled swimmer.

They flew into complete opposite directions with a same lifestyle, somehow they managed to bond even more. Never been better, except for the hidden feelings. That aspect got even worse when Pelayo started hooking up with some guy. “You’re into dudes?” At that moment Carlos was sure he was about to puke.

“I guess, I like making out with him” The way he was making the whole thing look so dumb was sickening “I have eyes what- what do you want me to say? He is hot, anyone with eyes can see it”

“Yeah, sure” He gulped. Sure, he was hot, but wasn’t Carlos hot enough that he needed to face this other guy to realize?.

“Does it make you uncomfortable?” He met those fucking green eyes, founding fear in them for the very first time. Pelayo cared about Carlos and his opinion, way too much.

“No!” Carlos practically screamed, how could he be uncomfortable? "No, no. I’m cool” His leg shaking as he tried to play off. So many questions gutted him all of a sudden, but bit his tongue instead.

“You don’t have to be” he was soft, giving Carlos that look he reserved only for him.

“I am”

He was not. He didn’t like that guy, and he didn’t like that girl brushing herself against his friend. Maybe he shouldn’t have invited Pelayo to the race after party.

“Dude, can you stop eye-fucking him?” Max laughed at his side, holding a red bull-vodka. The drink tasted awful, but somehow he liked it.

“What?” The music was playing loudly, he probably misheard his teammate. “What are you talking about?” His finger tapped against the desk, wishing for the conversation to die on the spot.

“C’mon” Max laughed as a weird expression was formed in his face, what an individual “I’m not judging or anything, it’s just painful to see at this point” Carlos face reddened. He looked at his sides, searching for a way out.

“Fuck off” He hissed, but the dutch managed to hear him clearly.

“You want to kiss him? Do it” Sounds easy, but it’s not “But do it before that cheek does it first” That traced his attention back to the brunette. He was so close to that girl, Carlos couldn’t help but cringe. That’s it, he had enough.

“Imma go back to the hotel” He stated. The dutch heavy accent sounded at his back as he tried calling his name: ‘Carlos dude, it was a joke’.

He made his way back to the hotel, holding back tears as he hoped to disappear. There was nothing waiting for him back at the hotel. He couldn’t sleep, he wasn’t hungry, he couldn’t even cry. But there was a big earthquake attacking his stomach, pure flashes of rage and embarrassment. How could he allow himself to end like that?

A loud knock woke him from bed, as he came closer to the bed, he recognized the deep long breathings caressing against the door.

“Hey. I’m sorry, I know it’s late” His voice sounded dreamy to Carlos, like if the situation was nothing but a dream “Ahm- you didn’t look so well early, and I wanted to check on you” Pelayo tucked one curl behind his ear restrained.

“I’m fine” he blurted. His voice, usually honeyed, came out flat, dead, matching his rough expression.

“Look, it’s cool if you don’t wanna tell me, but don’t lie to my face” Pelayo hissed, snatching the door open with his right hand.

“Pelayo it’s fine, okay?” Carlos’ devastated tone showed his clear tiredness, but Pelayo couldn’t leave it like that “I'm simply not in the mood” He elaborated, trying to push the other from his room.

“Don’t do that” he crawled at the tanned skin exhausted, trying to capture his arm “We’re not gonna ‘talk in the morning’. I know you, you’re just gonna play it off” Carlos clenched his fists.

“I’m not in the mood” he hissed once again.

“I won’t be able to sleep if we let things like this” Pelayo wasn’t lying, always they had pushed things for too long a bad climate grew in between them “Please” he begged quietly, founding Carlos fist with his hand.

“I’m sure you can get someone into your bed to help you sleep” regret hit the very moment the words came out. Pelayo’s expression faded, soon his apologetic expression turned into a grin, brushing away any sing of vulnerability.

“So that’s what this is about?” Pelayo laughed arid, crossing his toned arms in front of the unbuttoned shirt “My goddess, you’re such a brat” A simple mean comment, enough to get under Carlos’ skin. The man walked away, ready to sleep or try to “Don’t walk away from me! What the fuck is your problem” Pelayo’s calloused hands pushed him strongly, making Carlos trip on. When he turned back to face him, pure rage glowed in his eyes.

“You’re my fucking problem” He pushed the smaller boy against the door, gritting teeth “You’re my fucking problem” His voice brittle as he let the other go.

“I don’t get it” the curly-haired mumbled throaty, desperate to keep eye contact.

“Of course you don’t” He laughed, gasping painfully “Am I not good enough for you? Why-” His lips trembling at every word until he couldn’t hold his cry.

“Carlos” Tactfully, caressing the man’s face, “Carlos, hey” wiping away his tears.

“I don’t get it” He cried falling into the Alonso’s arms “What do they have that I don’t?” Crying ugly, wetting the blue perfect shirt.

“They who? Mate I-” Carlos arms lacing his waist, as he confronted the olive skin man again.

“All of them. These dudes and girls you hook up with, what do they have I don’t?”

“Carlos- why don’t we try to sleep? Let’s better talk about this in the morning” Walking away like a coward was an option, a good one. The taller man was drunk, most likely. He had seen him drinking near Verstappen, that for sure. Fighting with a drunken man was not a good idea, even worse when the drunk man is your best friend.

“No! You wanted to talk, right? Then talk” He pushed him again, no more gentle touches, but teasing angry ones.

“You don’t mean any of this mate, you will regret it in the morning” Things would have been easier that way. Carlos was a forgetful drunk, he wouldn’t remember in the morning.

“Fucking stop it with all this mate dude shit” he screamed it out, but a little touch of sadness painted his voice “You really, really need me to say it?” please, please don’t, he would just make it harder to pretend it never happened “I love you! I love you damn it”

“Please, you don’t know what you’re saying” begging, to that point they had come “You’re just making me feel worse” Pelayo’s voice came out mournful, to the verge of tears.

“Do you? Do you love me?” Breathing away the tears, Carlos big brown eyes were scanning every reaction of his. An unheard ‘please’ leaving his sore throat.

“Don’t do this to me, please”

So… 2289 words

There will probably be a second and last part.

#male reader #f1 #formula 1 #cs55 #carlos sainz #carlos sainz x reader #carlos sainz x male reader #fernando alonso #fa14 #best friends to lovers

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thesixenthusiast · 1 year

Text

ruby – eddie roundtree

part one (part two, part three, part four)

pairing: eddie rountree x fem!oc (may change to x reader) warnings: drinking/drugs (billy/daisy's addictions) word count: 1.6k author's note: please bear with me in this, if there's a few time mix ups just with the order of things, please do let me know but i'm trying to find an equal balance between the book and show and it's a little difficult lol

On October 4, 1977, Daisy Jones & The Six performed to a sold out crowd at Soldier Field in Chicago, Illinois. They were one of the biggest bands in the world at the time, fresh off their award-winning, multi-platinum selling album “Aurora.” It would be their final performance.

In the 20 years since, members of the band and their inner circle have refused to speak on the record about what happened… Until now.

–

THE RISE OF THE SIX (1966-1972)

The Six started out as a blues-rock band called the Dunne Brothers in the mid-sixties out of Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. Billy and Graham Dunne were raised by single mother, Marlene Dunne, after their father, William Dunne Sr., left in 1954.

BILLY DUNNE (lead singer, The Six): I always dreamed of something different than the typical laid out career paths. When Graham first got the idea to start a band, I assumed it was just to win back his girlfriend. He was, what fourteen? The kid thought his life was over. [Laughs] I guess in retrospect, maybe it was a good idea.

WARREN ROJAS (drummer, The Six): He was definitely trying to get his girlfriend back.

GRAHAM DUNNE (lead guitar, The Six): We were solid, fine for a while. When Chuck quit, we were out a bassist, which isn’t really something you can do without in a band. Billy originally wanted Eddie to switch to bass, but he wasn’t too keen on that.

EDDIE ROUNDTREE (rhythmic guitar, The Six): I was so sick of Billy trying to run the band, it wasn’t his band, or at least, it wasn’t supposed to be.

WARREN ROJAS: There was this girl in my math class, her uncle owned a music store downtown, and she used to give lessons to kids on weekends, it was mostly just some scheme by her uncle to get people to buy guitars.

BILLY DUNNE: She was a sophomore, a young sophomore at that, she wasn’t even 16 by the time she joined, I was a year out of high school and the rest of the boys are creeping on 17 and 18, she just didn’t fit. Warren gets all the boys on board before bringing the idea up to me so I look like the asshole if I say no, I wanted to say no too, but she was good and I didn’t have another option.

EDDIE ROUNDTREE: She didn’t even show an interest in being in the band, she wasn’t begging us to give her a chance, we were near-stalking her at the music store, waiting for the perfect opportunity to hear her play and casually bring up that we happened to need a bassist.

JULIET OPAL (bassist/singer, The Six): They weren’t nearly as sly as they thought they were. I originally thought it was some attempt at stealing records or 8-tracks, y’know waiting until I wasn’t looking, but they kept coming back, seemingly just waiting for me to do something, what it was I didn’t know, but something.

EDDIE ROUNDTREE: [Sighs] They decided I would be the one to talk to her.

The shop’s bell rang, signaling the door had been opened, which swung Juliet’s attention away from the magazine she was skimming and up to the front of the store, peering through the aisles to see who entered. A boy, one she recognized from the creeping on her from the previous weeks, made himself visible and she was immediately on high alert. He approached the counter, swallowing nerves as he did, and cleared his throat.

“Hi,” his voice was hoarse, she took the awkward silence as a moment to study him, he wore a striped shirt, loose jeans, and brown shoes, his hair could use a comb through. He extended his hand, “I’m Eddie, I think we go to school together.”

“Juliet,” she met his hand, “is that why you’re here, to tell me that we might go to school together? Or is there an ulterior motive, one that may explain why you and your friends have been spying on me the past week,” any speck of confidence Eddie had going into this was entirely gone.

“I’m in a band with some friends and our bassist bailed on us pretty recently. My friend, Warren, he’s a junior like me, I think he’s in your math class, said he saw you play bass and that you were good. We just wanted to see you play before we formally asked.”

“Formally asked what?” She leaned up from her elbows that she had been propped on.

“Oh, to, uh, like,” he stopped himself, licking his lips and sighing, “would you want to maybe play bass for us?” His eyes instantly went to his shoes and he stuffed his hands inside his pockets.

“Can I have a little more info maybe? It’s not personal, I just don’t know you, like at all and you could be the worst players for all I know.”

EDDIE ROUNDTREE: That one hurt, something about a younger kid who you have a solid five inches on insinuating that she’s better than you are, especially when you’re practically on your knees begging for her to help you out can feel like salt being rubbed into a fresh wound.

JULIET OPAL: What else was I supposed to do? [Laughs] Just blindly follow the older boy who had been spying on me for a week to the alleged garage that he practices in with his alleged band and hope for the best? I paid attention in the stranger-danger assemblies, I knew better.

EDDIE ROUNDTREE: I invited her back to Billy and Graham’s but she said she had to close up for her uncle. Once we were out in L.A. she told me she actually just didn’t wanna leave with me and in hindsight, I can’t say I blame her.

The following morning Juliet and the Dunne Brothers skipped their first period and met in the Dunne’s garage. Juliet studied the wads of scribbled sheet music Billy had handed to her without looking her in the eye and she didn’t miss the way Eddie rolled his eyes at his hostility, and Eddie didn’t miss the way her upper lip curled into a smile as she saw his reaction.

After rifling through the stack of papers, she picked out one at random, and set it down on the table in front of her, leaning over to scan in a few times before pulling the strap of her guitar over her head. She looked over to the group of boys, standing huddled together with Billy noticeably further away and Warren nodded fervently at her with a grin overtaking her face.

After she played through the song, Billy made her play another, and another, and two more after that ‘for safety.’ Once he had run out of excuses for her to keep playing, he asked her to step out of the garage so they could confer with each other. After seven minutes and two overheard “c’mon man”s from Warren, Juliet was invited back into the garage and to serve as a temporary bass for the band, just until Billy could come to his final decision.

JULIET OPAL: He was stubborn even then, I’m honestly surprised he let me in.

BILLY DUNNE: I didn’t want to let her in the band.

EDDIE ROUNDTREE: I wanted her in the band, I made sure Billy knew that.

JULIET OPAL: A week after I joined, we were playing a gig with the Winters.

The group stood backstage, listening to the music that was permeating into every corner of the room. Juliet stood sandwiched between Warren and Camila, listening to the band. They had a keyboardist, she caught Juliet’s eye once they had got backstage, when they finished playing and she got offstage, Juliet made a beeline for her, introducing herself.

“I’m Karen,” she introduced herself, “you play with these guys?”

“Mhm, I’m on bass right now, but in an ideal world I’d steal Eddie over there’s job,” she pointed to him and he smiled back, nodding his head up at her, unknowingly, “I won’t though, kinda like him, at least more than I do Billy,” Karen nodded, opening her mouth to excuse herself from the conversation, “y’know I’ve been saying we need a keyboardist.”

“Have you now?” That piqued her interest she stopped in her tracks and smirked over her shoulder.

“No,” she admitted, “but I’ve been thinking it.” Billy hollered her name, gesturing her over to the group, who were making their way onstage. She pulled a receipt with a phone number scribbled across it in black ink and handed it to Karen, “If you ever get sick of them, give me a call, I’ll put in a good word for you.”

“Do you always carry around drug store receipts with your phone number on them?”

“You never know who you might meet,” she shrugged and started sprinting towards the stage before calling out over her shoulder, “worked out this time. Wish me luck!”

KAREN SIRKO (keyboardist, The Six): She was so.. vivacious, so full of life. She apoke about a million miles a minute, if I wasn’t fully interested in what she was saying, I don’t think I would’ve caught a word of it. You have this young girl talking your ear off, she seems entirely sure of herself, but also still feels a need to prove to you that she deserves to be there.

JULIET OPAL: I liked Karen, how could I not? And based on the way events would play out, clearly I wasn’t the only one.

WARREN ROJAS: It was a great gig, Julie did great, not that we weren’t expecting her to, we were just worried about her, she had never done anything in front of a crowd before, but she did everything that actually counted right.

EDDIE ROUNDTREE: On the drive home she sat next to me and she told me I played well, then she leaned in and kinda whispered and she thanked me. She thanked me for being the one to ask her to join because she would’ve said no to anyone else. [Smiles]

#eddie roundtree #eddie roundtree fanfiction #eddie roundtree x reader #eddie loving #eddie loving x reader #daisy jones and the six #daisy jones fanfic #daisy jones and the six fanfiction #daisy jones and the six fanfic #daisy jones x reader #warren rhodes #warren rojas x reader #warren rhodes x reader #graham dunne #billy dunne #camila dunne #eddie roundtree x oc #daisy jones #eddie roundtree smut

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thetarttfuldickhead · 1 year

Text

It seems Jamie would initially have us – and Roy – believe he’s so chipper because he’s just that into Amsterdam and all her sights, but as we later learn his memories of the city is a mixed bag (to say the very least). Leaving aside all the horror of that for now, it makes me wonder why he’s really in such an incredibly good mood throughout the day, especially considering that rather nasty loss to Ajax?

I mean, he could just really, really enjoy getting to hang out with Roy, or he’s distracting himself from bad memories, or he knows that he’s getting better and stronger and that Zava is gone and that it’ll be his time to shine very, very soon, and these are all perfectly sound and acceptable explanations–

–but I’m a lover of Jamie being both fucking sweet and, yes, a bit of a prick, so I’d like to think it’s a very deliberate choice to (fairly gently) get back at Roy for making him run all around the city just ‘cause Roy’s got his knickers in a twist.

You want me to run, Coach? Oh, I’ll run, I’ll run and run and do carthwheels while you limp after me, cursing my youth and beauty until you can’t limp no more, and I’ll tell you all these little facts because I know me knowing stuff you don’t makes you nervous and I’ll be fucking cheerful about it so you can’t get me for being a prima donna – sorry, coach, I mean pre-Madonna – and when you’re literally unable to keep running because of your knee I’ll find us a bike so we can keep going because you asked for this.

That doesn’t mean he’s faking being happy, by the way; I think he’s having a great time! (And I think he does very much enjoy spending time with Roy these days; he does feel pretty good about his future; he does want to show Roy a windmill – and he’s going to be obnoxious about it! All these things all at once! Jamie contains multitudes!)

To me this also works well with both him, rather out of the blue, adopting some of his dad’s mannerisms because what could possibly be more annoying that James Tartt Sr (we are ignoring alternative explanations atm bc we’re choosing joy in this post), and him apologizing for being a dick later on. Sure, could just be him feeling bad for laughing about Roy being able to ride a bike, but that seems a rather small thing in the face of Roy’s not-very-subtle taking his bad mood out on Jamie and Jamie then goes on to offer an explanation about his knowledge of Amsterdam which had nothing to do with the bike incident, so yeah, this is my story and I’m sticking to it.

Jamie Tartt having a blast being a troll but also being genuinely there for Roy is my new aesthetic.

#crack but also not you know?#jamie tartt #roy kent #3x06 #ted lasso #meta #my stuff

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charliedawn · 10 months

Note

OH, YOU THOUGHT THE LAST REQUEST WAS WEIRD-I have many more in-store for you

If I remember correctly, there was a post you made yourself where it was non-con. It was a big surprise coming from you.

So I was wondering if you could do the reader with the hannibal family and they do age play.

Age play: When you act younger than your age. (Usually used for sexual pleasure)

Me: Something Important to add would be spanking for a brat, (even though I like being good for rewards) wearing frilly dress and girly childish clothes (light colors), them having to dress and clean you. There's a lot to it, but remember that it's also used for sexual pleasures. So please, add some smut.

*Cue me me maniacally laughing*

Me: it's not that bad when you think about it, Charles [New Nickname Achieved!]

With my degenerative mind, we can do wonders together, think about it.

Also, here's more Bo gifs:

Warning: SMUT AHEAD.

Hannibal Jr. :

Hannibal Jr. knows how to play the caring *cough cough* daddy.

He’d be the type to reassure you and tell you everything is going to be okay. He’d wipe your tears and hold you while shushing you gently.

Hannibal Jr. wouldn’t punish you often, and would always make sure to keep his baby safe and protected.

He’d go on shopping trips with you and wait patiently while you try everything pink and fuzzy.

But the thing is, he’d also be sure to make you understand who’s got power over you. He’d be quite calm and collected while punishing you, but he’d be ruthless nonetheless.

Meaning: He’d show no emotion whatsoever while making sure you get the message.

Him *smiles before gripping you by the back of your neck* : "Sssh, love. You wanted to be a brat ? Now, I have no choice but to do this. It is for your own good. Now, be a good little love and stay still."

You move. You dead.

Kevin Hannibal:

Kevin will play right along with it and love going on shopping trips with you. He likes to be unconventional himself.

And god forbid anyone who would make fun of you for it.

Morgan *snickers when he sees you give your favourite plushie to Kevin* : "Great. Another plushie. I knew you were eager for attention, but that is just sad…"

You *lose your smile and attempt to walk off in shame*

Kevin *grabs you and settles you on his lap before flipping Morgan off* : "Yeah. And where are your gifts, Morgan ? That’s right. Ya got none. Must be sad getting no bitches, right ?"

Kevin would love your gifts and constant need for attention.

He’d be sure to take care of you and play with you as much as you want. He’d show you all the affection he’s got. No way you’re moving from his lap now….

However, he’d refuse to punish you.

His motto: Stay there, look pretty and let me spoil you rotten.

Morgan Hannibal:

Morgan wouldn’t mind, but he is one to like intellectual conversations on many different subjects. If anything, he’d be attracted to older women.

But, there is one thing that you would both agree on…Story time.

He’d be thrilled to read to you children stories or fairytales and take you to different events related to them. He’d talk to you and take you to see children movies at the theaters without a care in the world.

He may eventually become a little annoyed by your childish behaviour, but unlike Kevin…Morgan would have no problem punishing you when you turn into a brat.

You *accidentally throw water at his face* : "M…Morgan. It was an accident. I’m sorry."

Morgan *gently wipes his face with a napkin before addressing an apologetic smile to the rest of the family* : "If you’ll excuse us…" *suddenly drags you out of the room in a flash*

He will not tolerate disrespect and would make sure you can’t sit down properly for a couple of days…

Hannibal Sr. :

Hannibal Sr. wouldn’t have a problem with it.

He would love it when you’d dress up for him and he’d dance with you and spoil you rotten with gifts and kisses.

But, you have to understand something. There is one thing he’d ask of you in return:

Complete and total submission.

You want to be his little doll ? Fine by him. But, one word of protest or even a glare out of you, and he’d be spanking the shit out of you.

Hannibal Sr. isn’t the type to play around. He needs to be in complete control. 24/7.

Hannibal Sr. *slowly strokes the top of your hair while you cry on his lap* : "Sssh…little lamb. You know better than to make me angry. Why would you try to upset me like that…"

You *whimpers* : "M’sorry…"

Hannibal Sr. *smiles* : "Good girl/boy…"

Praise king though. He’d be sure to reassure you and whisper sweet nothings into your ear after he’s done.

Peter Hannibal:

Nope. Sorry. No way that poor boy is daddy. He wouldn’t be able to be. Literally. He’s baby.

If anything, you’d both be babies together and make the whole family take care of you. Partners in craving affection.

However, he’d be more than capable of punishing you in his own way…

Peter*tying you up to a chair with the sweetest smile ever on his face* : "Let’s play a game, Y/N…You stay on this chair. And no moving at all, got it ?"

You *nod*

Him *giggles* : "Good…And tell me if it gets too much, alright ?"

And he means it.

Peter can sometimes be pretty cruel in his punishments. So, better tell him when it’s too much.

And don’t be afraid to punish him in return.

He secretly loves to cry…

#fandoms #fanfic #hannibal family #hannibal sr.#peter hannibal #morgan hannibal #kevin hannibal #hannibal jr #smut

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devourers-of-god · 3 months

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Hiii! Could you do a Sal x reader who has sensor issues and anxiety? Like they get really panicked when things get to loud or theres to many people and over thinks alot? If not thats fine to :))

TYYQKDBBS

HII!! Of course :) I will try my best to portray what you are asking me! If i wrote something not accurate, feel free to correct me<3 im doing a kinda one shot for this one, WITH hcs at the end.

SAL X READER WITH SENSORY ISSUES & ANXIETY

Warnings: nothing srs but you guys aren’t dating in this mwehehe

Type: one shot AND hcs

JUST FRIENDS? Sal x reader one shot

School was hard for everyone, especially for you. You’ve been struggling with sensory issues your whole life, being at school was already enough of a sensory overload for you and your anxiety did not help either. Sal and you had been friends since he moved to Nockfell, he knew you like the back of his hand and was very aware of the challenges you faced everyday. He always took the time to remind you to take your medication, even bringing your pills to school when he knew you would forget. You guys were always close to eachother, basically stuck like glue. Explained by « we’re just friends ».

You had a tendency to overthink a lot about basically anything in your life, but Sal was always patient with you, reminding you that you matter and that he’s always there to help you in moments of crisis. Sadly that day happened when Sal and you were hanging out in the city, it was very crowded, more than usual. You’re normally used to going in the city but the hot, too hot, temperature didn’t help your sensory issues. Neither did the sweat, people’s loud conversations, sounds of cars passing by, birds singing, people laughing. Everything started to feel like a bad memory, you unconsciously held Sal’s hand. Your breathing accelerated gravely, just like your heart rate. Sal looked at his hand, fingers locked with yours, then slowly looked up at you. He immediately knew something was wrong. Sal decided to pull you aside from the crowd to make you feel better.

« what’s going on y/n? » he said, holding eye contact and both of your hands now. You broke eye contact while trying to gather your thoughts to be able to answer him.

« I- I’m » you took a deep breath

« Shh y/n, I’m here for you okay? Take your time » Sal said, smiling softly under his mask.

« Too many people and- and it’s really hot.. I think I’m having a sensory overload- I’m sorry » Tears flood your eyes slowly. Sal squeezed your hands a bit harder to remind you he’s there.

« There’s no need to apologize, I know this is hard for you, let’s just breathe in and out together okay? Slowly. » You nodded, happy with how good he is at handling things like that. He scooted over to you, showing you how to breathe properly, still holding your hands. While having your hands together he brushed his thumb across yours slowly. You felt your face heating up. Being this close to him made you forget everything. There was so much pain in this world but not in here. After a comfortable silence, you finally spoke up.

« Thank you Sal… you always know how to make me feel better » you smiled softly, resting your head on his shoulder. Sitting there with the blue haired boy made you feel a pleasing sensation in your body. Sal felt joyous to hear that he helped you just now. He felt his face heat up when you rested your hand on him.

« I don’t want to leave this moment.. I don’t want this to be a memory y/n.. » he whispered softly, just enough so you can’t tell what he said clearly.

You looked up to him with a confused expression « What’d you say Sal? »

He sighed quietly « Nothing! » he let out a nervous chuckle « let’s go to my place instead yeah? » You smiled wildly.

« I would love that, we need to finish the movie anyway right ? » Sal nodded happily as you two got up, still not letting go of your hand. You were now walking like you’ve been going out for years already, like it was normal. You only noticed when arrived to his apartment.

After this, Sal and you had a great rest of the day.

SAL X READER WITH SENSORY ISSUES/ ANXIETY HCS !!! DATING !!!

- he always knows when something is wrong, he takes the time to help you and make you feel loved.

- even though you think what you’re overthinking about is stupid, Sal reassures you and stay close to you until you feel better.

- like I wrote earlier, you’re always at his place and sometimes forget to pick up your medication, so he brings it to you wherever you are. He knows days are worse when you’re not on it.

- because of his ability to be an amazing boyfriend, it’s rare you actually overthink lots about your relationship with him. But when it happens, you better know he’s at your front door with blankets, snacks, dvds and good video games to comfort and make you feel relaxed all night.

Okep guys !! I hope you enjoyed this hahaha I think it’s the first time I’ve done a one shot.. critics are always welcome !!

PMS: open

REQUESTS: ALWAYS OPEN!!

#sallyface #sally face #todd morrison #larry johnson #ashley campbell #sal fisher #travisphelps #sf #sally face hcs #sal fisher x reader #sal fisher hcs #sal fisher x y/n #sally face headcanons #Sal fisher imagine #sally face fanfiction #sal fisher oneshot #writers on tumblr

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shes-homeward-bound · 2 years

Text

Crash and Burn | Chapter 8

Summary: You’re the first female driver to compete in the Formula 1 World Championship in decades and it's your second year of navigating through a male-dominated sport. Your talent and drive to prove yourself made you vicious on the grid. Your seemingly unshakeable confidence was never questioned- until a certain Ferrari driver made you crash and burn.

Pairing: Carlos Sainz Jr. x Reader

Chapters: 8/?

Warnings: swearing, angst, car accidents

Word Count: 6.1k

Posted on: 9/23/2022

masterlist

A/N: Hi guys! it's been a while since I updated but I finally have ch8 for you! I just started a new job and it took me a while to get adjusted but I'm back. Please feel free to comment! I love hearing what you guys have to say. I also wanted to remind you that this is fiction, not an actual depiction of their character. Enjoy!

Chapter 8

The days to the next race weekend were busy but time felt like it dragged on. The pictures you and Carlos posted on your social media accounts were well received by the fans. When the racing teams posted various photos of you and Carlos in the paddock or your race suits, that seemed to do the trick because half of the negative articles suddenly had a positive narrative on your relationship. Fans were making ship names and calling you the ultimate F1 couple. Seeing all that positive feedback should have delighted you but it was hard to enjoy when you and Carlos weren’t even talking. The only people who knew you were fighting were yourselves, your performance coaches, and the only drivers that knew were Charles and Lando.

You were back in your apartment in England and training hard in both the simulator and the gym. Mentally, you were not okay. Your body was used to all the dopamine due to all the good things that were going on with Carlos. Anna told you that Carlos was probably feeling the same way, maybe even worse and for some reason, that gave you some solace. There were times when you almost picked up the phone and called him but you were glad you didn’t. It was Carlos who was at fault, he shouldn’t be angry at you for the mistakes he made.

Carlos was used to living by himself but the random things you accidentally left behind reminded him of how much he enjoyed your presence. Your skincare was still in his bathroom and finding hair ties randomly throughout his apartment. When Ferrari didn’t need Carlos for testing, he flew back to Madrid hoping his family had answers to help him. When Carlos told his parents about his fight with you and what he was feeling, it was not well received. Reyes threw her hands up in the air and left the room muttering about her idiotic son and for the first time, Carlos Sr. looked at his son in disappointment. His father’s intense glare crushed Carlos but he knew he deserved it for hurting you. His sisters were livid and texted you attempting to apologize for him. You thanked them for being supportive but insisted you needed to hear his words.

Days went by and you finally found yourself on your way to Miami. The majority of the drivers were already there but you delayed as long as you could. You knew it gave you less time to get used to the time difference but at the moment, you couldn’t bare to face Carlos. Since it was the first-ever Miami Grand Prix, it was going to be a long week filled with events. That also meant you were going to need to spend time with Carlos in the public eye which was going to be challenging due to the fact you kind of wanted to punch him. The PR director sent an email over with suggestions on how the both of you should act now that your relationship was no longer a secret. She advised that a small amount of PDA was okay, the goal was to show that your relationship was legitimate and not some stupid plot to steal secrets from Ferrari.

You had just settled into your hotel room, unpacking your clothes and making it feel like home when you heard a knock on your door. Looking through the peephole, you see Lando with flowers in one hand and a bag of food in the other. You grinned as you opened the door for him. Lando had been such a good friend to you in the past week, acting as a liaison between you and Carlos. Lando thought that Carlos was in the wrong and desperately wanted his good friends to stop fighting. He tried to reason with Carlos but, his old teammate was as stubborn as ever.

Lando promptly places the flowers on the coffee table and unpacks the food. “Has Carlos talked to you yet?”

You let out a long sigh. “No, he hasn’t. Lando, I don’t what to do. How can we act like a normal couple when we haven’t even talked in a week? I refuse to reach out, he’s the one who needs to apologize.”

“I fully agree with you y/n but you have to understand that Carlos is incredibly hard-headed. I’ve known Carlos longer than you and he is extremely goal-driven, he will do anything to get that world championship. His intensity can cloud his judgment, I think he truly believes that you are the main reason for his failures this season.”

You rolled your eyes. “He’s being ridiculous. My anxiety spikes whenever I hear an incident from Ferrari but I don’t let that affect my racing!”

Lando looks at you with amusement. “I think you underestimate how much he likes you. If we’re not talking about racing, you’re all he talks about. Y/n this. Y/n that. He’s whipped and doesn’t know how to handle it.”

You cross your arms and squint at Lando as you gauge whether or not he was telling the truth.

“Really?”

“Really.”

This information should have made you more furious but you could feel yourself soften as you started to understand how your boyfriend’s brain worked. It still made no logical sense to you but you were starting to discover what a type-A goal-driven person was like. Despite your new realizations, Carlos would need to step up and apologize before you could even think to forgive him.

*******

The energy of the crowd was electrifying. Even in your stressed-out state, it was hard not to enjoy the festivities that came with the Miami Grand Prix. As you and Sebastian made your way to the opening ceremony, you spotted the familiar Ferrari red. Carlos’s eyes grew once he saw you, it felt like a year since he’s seen you, and was glad to see you looking well. On the other hand, you noticed that Carlos was looking more disheveled than usual. He looked tired and was sporting a few days of scruff on his face. You had the strongest urge to take his face in your hands and tease him about his facial hair but then you remembered why you couldn’t let yourself do that.

You realized that cameras were already trained on you so you mustered a grin and give Carlos a quick hug before walking side by side.

Carlos looks at you in surprise so you sidle up to him and whisper, “I’m still mad at you but we have to do this for the cameras.”

Carlos wraps his arm around your shoulder and places his lips by your ear. “We’ll be the perfect couple,” said Carlos curtly.

Carlos had no idea what to feel. At the moment he was extremely frustrated with you and himself but having you in his arms seemed to have calmed him down. You were also feeling the effect of having Carlos hold you so close, your anger tapered as you both walked to the event as a horde of people photographed and filmed every move.

The opening ceremony was a success and you and Carlos were able to dodge any controversial questions. Most of your interactions with Carlos were physical rather than verbal. Carlos was afraid he’d say something that would make you angrier and you were scared that you’d start a spontaneous fight in public so you both communicated through touch. When you were backstage with all the drivers, there would be a light tap on the back or a casual arm over your shoulder.

The other drivers who didn’t know about your relationship helped sell the happy couple image you needed to portray. George was over the moon and would loudly express his approval of your relationship whenever he was close by and you both fed off his energy. Max commented on you being too good for Carlos and to his annoyance, you may have laughed a little too hard. But Lewis’s reaction was filled with so much wisdom that it stunned you both. Lewis with his kind smile said that he was sorry to see the media target me so harshly. He told you and Carlos to keep your heads up and stick together because people will always have something to say, especially with you being the only female driver. Lewis looked at both of you in the eyes and said to remember why you choose each other despite knowing it would be a difficult road ahead.

You don’t know about Carlos, but that comment hit you hard. You knew that dating Carlos was going to be challenging but you still choose to be with him. Without thinking, you automatically reached over and held out your hand, and to your surprise, Carlos’s had already met yours, and for a moment, you felt like everything was going to be okay.

******

You were waiting in line to sit down and do the usual Thursday press conference with a couple of other drivers. You and Carlos were waiting in line together and your nervous foot tapping must’ve annoyed him to the point that he broke the silent treatment you resumed with each other.

“Y/n! Can you stop that?”

You shifted your legs. “Sorry, just nervous.”

“We’ll be fine! We just have to act like everything is okay,” said Carlos.

If looks could kill, Carlos would be dead on the floor.

“Sure! I’ll just pretend everything is okay while some asshole journalist is asking you if you think I’m using you to steal secrets from Ferrari,” you said sarcastically.

The comment effectively shut him up. Carlos’s attempt at comforting you had failed and wanted to smack himself for saying the wrong thing again. He could only hope his stupidity didn’t make you hate him. He thought you two were making some sort of progress the night before.

It was either a blessing or a curse that you and Carlos were put at the same press conference but it was probably purposefully done to avoid any misinformation to spread. You were glad Daniel was going to be in this press conference because he was one of the drivers who publically supported you on social media. It gave you some relief that you had someone on your side who was ready to defend if it became too much for you and Carlos.

Once the group before was done, you tried your best to not look like you were on the verge of a nervous breakdown. You reminded yourself that you are y/n l/n, you were outgoing and had impeccable skills that could handle the media. After your little pep talk, you lead the group into the room, and the moment you sat down, you could feel that confidence diminish. Every single reporter was staring at you like you were a rare mystical gem that was waiting to be poked and prodded. As expected, they started the conference on the other end which meant they were saving you, the best for last.

The questions they asked the other drivers were either about the new track or modifications to the cars. When the reporter got to Carlos, you and the other drivers tensed up, afraid they would ask him about the Ferrari and Aston Martin scandal. To your surprise, they only asked him how he felt about his DNF in Italy and how he has prepared himself for the race on Sunday.

When the questions got to you, you had a feeling they weren’t going to ask you about the new developments in your car.

“Y/n! How are you liking Miami so far?”

“It’s so exciting to be here in this new track! This city is so vibrant and full of different cultures, I can’t think of a better place to host a Grand Prix.”

“That’s lovely to hear! Let’s throw it back to the Imola where you had an eventful couple of days. You went from celebrating an amazing race and podium to being in the middle of a scandal with Ferrari. How are you dealing with these accusations?”

You noticed Carlos straighten up and your colleague's visibly freezing as they anticipated your answer.

Taking in a deep breath, you smiled at the reporter. “Well, there is no scandal between Ferrari and me, those accusations of me stealing information from Ferrari are simply not true. I’m not going to lie, dealing with the accusations has been hard but I know the truth and the teams know the truth. I take my job seriously, my good results are a reflection of the hard work my team and I put into the sport.”

The reporter was satisfied with your answer but another journalist in the back did not like the diplomatic response you gave.

“Maybe there is no scandal but that doesn’t change the fact that Carlos’s performance has dropped ever since the two of you were spotted spending time with each other,” blurted out the journalist. “The timeline of your relationship coincides with Carlos’s DNFs. Do you think your relationship is negatively affecting Carlos? You and your team must be benefitting from Ferrari’s misfortunes. Do you think it’s fair to use your body to gain an advantage in the circuit?”

With a smug look on his face, the journalist turned to Carlos. “How could you let a pair of tits affect you this much?”

Your jaw dropped and the room erupted in chaos. A series of “whoah” reverberated throughout the room knowing the man had crossed the line. It was not within their characters but when you saw Carlos and Daniel abruptly stand from their chairs, you knew that they were furious. Valtteri and George had to hold them back before they could get to the journalist. You sat there stunned, feeling angry and embarrassed that someone had said those awful words to you. It was bad enough when you read what people said about you but to hear it was disgusting. You wanted to hide as you watched Daniel and the journalist spew words at each other as security personnel escorted the journalist out of the room.

You could barely keep your tears in when you decided you couldn’t stand to be in the room any longer. Getting up from your chair, you calmly walked out of the camera frame and practically ran out and weaved your way through the paddock. You had just entered Aston Martin hospitality before tears flooded your vision, you blindly made your way to your private room and shut the door before crumpling into a heaping mess.

*******

Furious was an understatement for what Carlos was feeling. He was livid and on the brink of violence. He was not the type to fight but Carlos had never wanted to punch someone as much as he did at that moment. He was seeing red by the time the journalist had finished talking. Not only was the journalist rude to him, but he had also disrespected you in the most vulgar way. He saw you leave but ultimately decided that he needed to stay and try to fix the mess.

Carlos picked up his microphone and looked directly at the camera. The room settled down after seeing Carlos stoically waiting for the talking to stop. They could tell the Ferrari driver was not happy.

“These comments about Aston Martin trying to steal from Ferrari has to stop. The accusations of Y/n using me to steal from Ferrari need to stop. Y/n L/n is one of the best drivers on the grid and has one of the most promising careers we will ever see in the history of our sport. Whatever happens to me and my car can only be blamed on myself and the team. There is no need to blame Y/n or Aston Martin. Why don’t we all drop the unnecessary drama and get ready for the race weekend, no?”

With his heart pounding, he placed the mic on his seat and walked out of the room. Finding a vacant hallway, Carlos leans on a wall and takes a deep breath. His mind spun as he reflected on what just happened. He remembered solely looking at you as the first reporter asked you questions. You were so good at keeping your appearance professional but he realized how well he could read you. He saw your eyebrow twitch and he just knew that you were upset but was hiding it under a friendly demeanor. When the asshole journalist started talking, he saw that all too familiar look of pure shock and outrage that your eyes could convey.

The moment the man suggested you were using your body was when Carlos snapped. Now that he had time to analyze things, he realized how stupid your fight was. He should’ve apologized the day you found out and he should have been by your side these past few weeks.

He made his way to Aston Martin hospitality to find Anna sitting on the ground by your door. She notices Carlos and pats the space next to her.

"Is she okay?"

“She won’t open the door for me, so she probably won’t open it for you," said Anna. "It's best to leave her alone, all we can do is let her know we're here to help and let her come to us."

Anna and Carlos waited in silence until Carlos couldn’t stand listening to his thoughts. "Anna, I have been an idiot."

"You just realized that?"

Carlos gave her a look before he continued. “Before I left the conference, I gave a statement to the public.”

“What did you say?”

“I told them to stop the accusations. I told them that Y/n shouldn’t be blamed for my mistakes,” said Carlos. “How am I any different from that journalist? He blamed her for my mistakes, just like I did.”

Carlos paused, doing his best to communicate what he was feeling. “My biggest dream is to be a world champion, I’ve been working so hard for so long and I was so frustrated that I blamed her. My number 1 priority is my career and that was working so well for me last year, but when I decided to let someone in my life, my career takes a hit. I didn’t want to face the truth that my own mistakes or the team's misfortunes would ruin my chance of a title. At the time, blaming y/n was what made sense but now, I just sound like the dumbest guy in the world.”

Carlos propped his arms on his knees and covered his face in frustration. “I failed her. When things were bad, she was always there to support me but where was I when she was receiving death threats? Where was I when the media was accusing her of cheating? I didn’t try hard enough to protect her, I should’ve addressed the public from day one. I should’ve told her that she makes my life significantly better and maybe the reason why I’m making mistakes is that I can’t handle the idea of y/n getting hurt.”

Anna pats his shoulder in an attempt to console the Ferrari Driver who was going through an emotional breakdown. “Carlos, you need to tell y/n everything you just told me.”

“I don’t know how I can face her after everything I’ve said and done. I always say the wrong things at the wrong time. I swear I'm one strike away from y/n breaking up with me.” said Carlos.

Anna chuckled. “Start by apologizing and then tell her everything you just told me.”

Carlos gets a text from his manager telling him that he was needed for more Ferrari obligations, he thanks Anna and tells her to make sure you knew he waited for you outside the door for as long as he could.

A few minutes after Carlos left, Anna heard your door creak open and saw your red splotchy face peek out of the room.

“How are you? Feeling better?”

You shrugged. “I had a good cry so I guess I do feel better.”

Anna gives you a sympathetic smile. “Carlos was waiting out here with me, he just left a few minutes ago. Y/n, you should talk to him. I think you’ll want to hear what he wants to say.”

“I heard everything.”

“Oh? Why didn’t you come out?”

You bit your lip as joined Anna who was still sitting on the floor. “I planned on never forgiving Carlos… but now, I don’t know. It took Carlos a couple of weeks to realize that he was wrong, I can’t just forgive him the moment he feels sorry. He essentially blamed me for ruining his chance for the championship, I can’t just go and run into his arms even though I want to. What does that say about me? What happened to my principles?

Anna sighs and gives you a wistful smile. “If you’re willing to forgive him after everything, it must mean you have stronger feelings for him than you realize. Do you love him?”

“What? No- I mean, I don’t think so,” you said as your voice rose in pitch. “We’ve barely been together for two months, I like him but I can’t possibly love him at this point.”

“You’re a driver, everything about your life is fast and intense. You have a dangerous profession and you found someone that truly understands what you go through. You may not love him yet but you’re starting to.”

You stared at Anna as your heart pounded at the thought.

*******

After having that eye-opening conversation with Anna, your anxiety was through the roof. You felt that awful anxiety-induced gut feeling and it became worse every time you thought about your feelings for Carlos. You were going through some startling self-realizations, you prided yourself in being a strong, level-headed woman but the idea of you forgiving him so easily did not sit right with you. Anna urged you to talk to Carlos but you were scared your resolve would crumble once Carlos looked at you with those warm brown eyes that you missed.

Free practices 1 and 2 had finished and you managed to get back to your hotel room without running into Carlos. You spent the majority of the day wearing your helmet with your visors down or using large sunglasses to hide your puffy eyes. You couldn’t give your haters and that journalist the satisfaction that they succeeded in making you cry. You had given your phone to Anna and told her to give it back to you only if anyone in your family called. The incident at the press conference sent the Formula One world into a frenzy. The majority of the population was on your side but of course, there was still a group of people who wholeheartedly agreed with the journalist. Anna told you that Carlos had tried to contact you multiple times but you couldn’t face him yet.

You usually loved qualifying, you loved that nerve-wracking rush of just sending it and putting everything you had into a few laps. But this time, you were experiencing the worst migraine in your life and you wanted nothing more than qualifying to end. Every turn felt like someone hitting your head with a brick and you were incredibly nauseous. You managed to get through Q1 but by the time the mechanics rolled you into the garage, you were in tears and you didn’t even bother hiding it. You waved the strategist and team principal over to you and you told them of your situation. The strategist suggested that they retire the car because he was worried about how safe it was for you to continue to drive. You refused and said that the team has worked too hard for you to quit, you told them that you would at least make it to the end of Q2.

You were the first one out of the garage at the start of Q2, your goal was to get fast enough laps so you would place higher in the grid-like 11th or 12th because you knew you weren’t going to last till Q3. In your desperation to stop driving, you drove as fast and as precisely as you could under the conditions of the extreme pain and nausea you were feeling. After receiving news of decent lap times, you hoped that would be enough to place you in a decent grid position.

“Ben? Mike?” your voice cracked as you called out to your bosses. “I need to box.”

A few seconds later, your concerned strategist's voice emerged from the static. “You did great y/n. Box, box, box.”

You slowly went down the pitlane and the moment you were parked, you stumbled out and ripped your helmet off. You were well aware that cameras were trained on you due to your premature stop but you couldn’t even care due to the state you were in. You crouched and had the overwhelming urge to throw up as your body started dry-heaving. Your pit crew was initially in shock as they saw the driver they adored practically convulsing in front of them but quickly used their bodies to block the cameras from capturing you looking so vulnerable. With the help of Anna and your strategist, you were led to the paddock's makeshift hospital where a doctor was waiting for you.

After an hour of examinations and some strong pain medication, your migraine was finally bearable and you were able to talk without feeling like you were going to vomit all over the place. Your team principal was updating you on what the starting grid was going to be like tomorrow when the doctor came in with papers in hand.

“Good news, nothing major is wrong with you so you can race tomorrow if your migraine goes away. Bad news, I’m guessing from recent events you have been mentally and physically stressed. What you experienced today was a badly timed tension migraine and the only cure for that is to get rid of your stressors.”

You chuckled as your mind flashed to memories you’d had in the last couple of weeks. “I’m working on that doc.”

Glad that you were given the “all clear” to race tomorrow, your team principal leaves you to rest some more. You were closing your eyes when you heard people shuffled into the room. You open your eyes to see half of the grid had come to check in on you. You sheepishly greet the boys as you thanked them for seeing you. The entire time the drivers were in the room, Carlos just sat on a nearby chair and just quietly observed you interacting with the boys. Once in a while, you would look over at him, wondering why he was so quiet. After a few minutes, the drivers left one by one until it was just you and Carlos.

“I want to sleep off the rest of this migraine in my hotel room. Do you mind driving me?”

“I wouldn’t mind at all.”

Carlos helps you up from the clinic bed and you slowly made your way out of the makeshift hospital and into the paddock. Carlos notices you swaying a little so he puts a steady hand on your back and with no hesitation, you grip his shoulder and leaned in for support. The entire way to the parking lot, you stayed like that as reporters with their cameras followed you snapping pictures. By then, Aston Martin would have released a statement of why you ended your qualifying short. You knew this just gave you more unwanted attention but at that moment, you didn’t care. You just wanted to go to sleep and were grateful that Carlos was there to help you.

The entire drive to your hotel was silent, you and Carlos both had things to say but neither of you was unsure of how to start. You kept glancing at him and he kept looking at you. The moment Carlos parked the car, he took a deep breath and gathered his courage.

“After qualifying, I went to look for you, and then I saw on the tv screens replaying a video of you stumbling out of your car and all of your mechanics running towards you. My heart stopped, y/n. You have no idea how much you affect me.”

“I know,” you said as you looked at him with tired eyes. “That conversation you had with Anna? I heard everything.”

“Then you know how sorry I am about everything. I was wrong and I never should have blamed you. I am so sorry y/n, I will never let you down again.”

A few tears escape as you scanned Carlos’s face. He was looking distraught and unkempt with the stubble he was currently sporting.

“I am so sorry” repeated Carlos.

“I believe you but Carlos, you left me to deal with everything by myself. I don't know how I can forgive you.”

Carlos immediately started shaking his head. He wished with all his might that your next words weren’t what he thought you were going to say.

“I need time, just let me think about it.”

Carlos lets out a shaky breath. “Take all the time you need.”

“Let’s both focus on tomorrow's race and once that’s done, we’ll have that long overdue talk. Does that sound good?”

With his heart pounding in his chest he merely nodded. This is it thought Carlos. He was sure you were going to break up with him for good. Carlos wanted to say more but looking at the state you were in, he agreed that it would be best to talk about your relationship after the race.

As Carlos watched you walk into your hotel, he clung to the hope that this wouldn’t be the end of your relationship. You were right, he left you when you were most vulnerable and if roles were reversed, he knew he would feel the same.

*******

You woke up bright and early feeling extremely refreshed. The migraine was gone and you resumed your usual race day routine. While you were doing yoga with Anna, you kept replaying Carlo’s apology in your head. You knew he was genuine but you were glad you told him that you needed time to think about his forgiveness. You needed time to come to terms with your feelings for him. When you had breakfast with Pierre, it took all your focus and energy to pay attention to him because your mind would immediately stray to whether or not you’d forgive Carlos.

By the time you were putting on your fireproof suit, you were feeling like your normal self. You opted to get ready Dani Ric style with a set of huge headphones and a great playlist. You would wave to other drivers and fans but only talked to members of your team. Despite not making it to Q3, your times were fast enough to place you 11th on the grid. You were doing an amazing job of pushing your problems with Carlos aside and focusing on performing well. You were determined to get that podium today, in your eyes, it was the best “fuck you” to anyone who had been doubting and hating you in the last couple of weeks. You had to show your team and the rest of the world that you were capable despite being under extreme stress.

With rock’n’roll blaring through your headphones, you and Anna were doing some stretches and reaction tests near your car. You had a few minutes until the national anthem so you used that time to sit by a barricade and close your eyes to manifest what you wanted for the race when suddenly, loud cheering cut through your music. You look up to see Carlos looking down at you with a hopeful smile. You see his mouth move but heard nothing come out.

You ripped your headphones off. “What did you say?”

Carlos’s cheeks redden. “I said that you look much better. I see you’re racing so that means your migraine is completely gone?”

You nodded. “Yup, I’m good as new.”

Carlos steps closer, “I know you didn’t want to talk until after the race but I felt like I needed to come by and check on you myself.”

You looked at him apprehensively before you realized he was genuine. You didn’t know why you were surprised by the statement, you and Carlos were technically still together. Before you could respond, Carlos held up his hand and stuck his pinky out.

“It is tradition.”

You hooked your pinky with him and the stands that were closest to you went wild, you laughed as he sheepishly waved to the fans. You were then instructed to line up for the American national anthem and as the music played, you couldn’t help but think of how endearing it was that Carlos chose to uphold your tradition.

As you kept sneaking looks at Carlos who was situated in the row in front of you, Carlos was mentally panicking as he over-analyzed the interaction you just had. He was scared that you were upset with him for not giving you the space you requested. Once the anthem was done and the drivers dispersed, you and Carlos had this moment where time froze. The look you both gave each other was something that could only be exchanged by two people who truly cared for each other. Carlos had this sense of vulnerability that you picked up right away and without a second thought, you reach for his hand.

“We’re going to be okay,” you whispered. “Drive fast, I'll see you at the end of the line.”

Carlos’s mind reeled. He barely stuttered out a “good luck” before you walked towards your car. A slow smile started appearing on both of your faces, and for the first time, you and Carlos were eager for a Grand Prix to end.

*******

Your driving was phenomenal, by lap 36, you were in P7 chasing down Lewis Hamilton. The crowd went wild as you pulled a maneuver in one of the turns and managed to get ahead of the Mercedes. This was the best driving you’ve done all year but you couldn’t celebrate yet because the medium tires you started with were already heavily degraded due to the Miami heat. Your engineer called you to box to change into hard tires. You knew you would fall back a few positions but you were so focused and in your element, it would be no problem to gain back those positions. By the time you got your hard tires up to temperature, you were back in P6 and were hunting down George in the other Mercedes.

“How many more laps until I can try and overtake George?”

“With your current pace, striking distance is in 5 laps.”

“Let’s make it 4 laps,” you said as you pressed the throttle.

“Y/n,” warned your engineer. “Watch out for overheating, you’re starting to push the car too hard.”

You didn’t respond as you pushed on the accelerator a little harder than before. You wanted that podium, especially after everything that happened, you needed it. Just like you intended, you were able to pull a move on George in 4 laps and successfully overtake him. Ben and Mike congratulate you but they give you another engine warning.

“Y/n, you need to slow down a bit, temps are too hot. I know you want that podium but that can’t happen if the power unit shuts down.”

You slowed down but not enough to the point you were in any danger of George overtaking you. You were currently P5 and saw that P4 was within your grasp. With Perez only 3 seconds ahead of you, your tunnel vision returned. Your engineer's warnings were long forgotten as you chased down the Red Bull. You were both approaching a DRS zone and you knew you could get yourself close enough to overtake. It would be extremely difficult but if you pushed hard enough, you knew you could do it.

Formula One drivers are known as daredevils. They know their profession is dangerous and they will do anything to win, sometimes it means they’ll cross a line that never should’ve been crossed.

You pushed and pushed and were finally able to get close enough to activate your DRS. What you didn’t anticipate was Checo’s rear wheels to lock up and spin, and because you were too close to him, you were headed straight to his sidepod. Your reflexes kicked in and you swerved but, at that speed, the margin of error was high. Your rear tire skidded over the Red Bull’s front wing and suddenly, you were flying and heard the grinding screech of asphalt and gravel scraping against the halo above you. Your screams were cut short as your car collided with the barrier. The last thing you remembered was the sharp pain in your chest as darkness crept into your vision.

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