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mdzs-owns-my-ass-i-guess · 1 year

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Study buddies

@seventypercentvodka here is the fic I came up with following your suggestion on this post. Have some (hopefully funny) junior shenanigans!

I really hope you (and everyone else!) like it, I had a lot of fun writing it!

The juniors are studying in Sizhui's room, books, notebooks and brushes haphazardly scattered about the usually tidy place.

Lan Jingyi is laying on the floor on his belly, sifting through a thick cultivation manual without really reading anything, while Ouyang Zizhen leans on an elbow drawing practice talismans. On his bed, Lan Sizhui dutifully reads his notes, back straight against the headboard.

The only one missing is Jin Ling, but as a sect leader, he has other duties now - though it is without question that he would be starfished on Sizhui's bed complaining about the work or falling asleep with a book on his face - it has happened before.

Jingyi cups his face underneath his chin and sighs. "You guys think Senior Wei would teach me the paperman technique?"

"What do you need it for?" Zizhen replies as he balls up another failed talisman and aims it for the garbage bin. He misses by millimeters.

"I dunno, I wanna go around spying on people."

"Jingyi," Sizhui calmly intervenes as he reaches for another cultivation manual on his night stand. "It is forbidden to-"

An eye roll. "Yeah, yeah, it's forbidden to disrespect people's privacy, rule 47 or whatever."

Sizhui smiles, just a tiny bit smug. "48."

Jingyi sticks his tongue out at him. "You're too much like Hanguang-Jun. Learn to live a little."

"Living a little shouldn't require blatantly disrespecting the rules, Jingyi."

"Ok, Hanguang-Jun The Second."

Sizhui smiles again, serenely, and "accidentally" sends a small notebook Jingyi's way. "Oops."

He barely dodges. "That was on purpose!"

"It was an accident." Sizhui replies, unconvincingly.

"Now whatever happened to the rules?! Lying is forbidden! Rule 3!"

Sizhui barely holds in his laugh. "I did not lie."

"Like hell you didn't!"

He's masked a giggle with a cough. "Do not curse, rule 29."

"You-"

"I will silence you."

"And I will tell Hanguang-Jun you snuck us out to the festival last week!"

"Being a snitch is forbidden!" Zizhen intervenes, laughing.

"It's not, unfortunately." Sizhui laughs as well, and Jingyi can't help but join in.

"We're actually encouraged to be narcs." Jingyi completes, half serious. "On ourselves but also others. It's disguised in shit like 'take accountability for your actions' and 'do not let injustice happen' but we all know what it really means."

Zizhen, "Who do you guys think is the biggest narc in the Cloud Recesses?"

"Hanguang-Jun used to be in charge of punishments, so it's most likely him." Sizhui says, tapping his chin thoughtfully.

"Yeah, but he's not like that anymore. He lets us get away with a lot of stuff. Especially me, to be honest." Jingyi adds. "But I think the biggest narc would definitely have to be Teacher Lan."

"Hm... but he's the one that people snitch to. There's no authority to snitch on him to." Zizhen ponders. "And even if there was, who in their right mind would break the rules where he could know about it?"

Jingyi and Sizhui answer simultaneously. "Senior Wei."

Zizhen sighs. "He's an exception. Anyway, I think the biggest narc has to be Zewu-Jun. But he's lowkey about it. Like you won't know it was him that ratted you out, he seems so nice, but he's still his uncle's nephew, you know?"

"Zewu-Jun would never rat on people." Sizhui says.

"Exactly! Nobody would believe he's a snitch! The perfect cover!"

"Which is why I need Senior Wei to teach me the paperman technique!" Jingyi interjects. "So we can see what he does in the Hanshi when he thinks nobody's watching!"

Sizhui sighs. "He's probably meditating. Or doing paperwork."

"I wonder what Teacher Lan does." Jingyi says, reaching for the bowl of dried fruits he's brought for the study session. "I bet he writes the rules like a hundred times for fun. Or he practices lectures out loud and yells at pretend students!"

"What do you do in your room, Jingyi?" Sizhui asks, barely restraining an amused eye roll.

"Regular stuff! Eat, read, sleep... and other things, but what's that to do with anything?"

"Teacher Lan probably does the same things, Jingyi. He's just a person, like us."

"I don't see Teacher Lan doing..." but he stops himself from saying any more, a light blush on his face.

"What about Hanguang-Jun and Senior Wei?" Zizhen suggests. "What do you guys think they do in the jingshi?"

Embarrassed looks pass both the Lans faces. "Everybody knows what they do in there." Jingyi quickly adds.

Zizhen blinks twice before realization dawns on him. He doesn't share the embarrassment, though. "Good for them. Must be a lot more fun than what we're doing right now... well, we are getting fucked in a way too, aren't we. Mindfuck is a thing."

"Zizhen."

"I don't wanna hear it, Sizhui, I heard you calling sect leader Yao a bitch ass cunt under your breath at the last discussion conference. Don't you have a rule against hypocrisy up on that mountain of yours?"

#mdzs #mo dao zu shi #writing attempts #lsz #ljy #oyzz #wangxian #i know the term narc is anachronistic but suspension of disbelief ok

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highwaytothedangerzone502 · 1 year

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Ghost Story - Chapter 36

Pairing: Rooster x Female OC

Word Count: 2219

Warnings: Swearing, allusion to death (apologizing in advance for this one...)

Summary: No one will miss a ghost. It'd been a running joke for as long as anyone could remember, something Ghost herself started, and she always said it with a smile on her face or with mirth in her voice. The untouchable stealth pilot in every sense of the word, no one could've predicted the depth of her turmoil over recent events, nor the extremes she would go to in order to protect the man she loved, not even those closest to her. Now, all that was left of the young aviator for Maverick, Hangman, and Rooster were the memories of the past, which would slowly fade with time. She'd come into their lives and made an unforgettable impression, and then, like a ghost, she was gone... Then again, ghosts can't die a second time.

Notes: The chapters/large parts in italics are flashbacks. Also so sorry it took this long to get the next chapter posted- I've had a lot going on :(

Chapter Songs: Wolves Dagger One Is Hit/Time To Let Go

****

Rooster

"Launch."

Cyclone's order came through loud and clear, even over the thundering of Rooster's heart. He watched Ghost take off, her wings leaving sharp contrails as she pulled upward into the cloudy gray skies. He soon followed, racing after her, not wanting to let her out of his sight for a second. Once Ghost had Rooster in her sights at her six, she lowered her plane dangerously close to the choppy black waves of the ocean. Although Rooster mimicked her action, he glanced nervously around. Despite joining the Navy and being aboard a ship most of the year, the open ocean unnerved him. It'd been where his dad died, and even now, after all these years, he could still see the ghostly appearance of Maverick clutching onto Nick Bradshaw's lifeless body in the waves. He'd never seen images of this, of course, nor had he witnessed the accident, but once ten-year-old Bradley fully comprehended what happened, he'd dreamt up the memory. It continued to stick with him.

"How do you want to tackle the bombing runs?" He asked Ghost, needing something to distract him from his morbid thoughts.

"We'll attack the hangars first. If enemies are already in the air, we don't want any more joining them. Then we'll turn around and line up with the next buildings so long as their anti-air defenses allow us," Ghost replied calmly. "About to enter the valley. Setting timer in three... two... one... now."

They shot into the ravine, easily navigating the relatively straightforward geography with precision. Having both been on missions with lower ceilings and narrower corridors, Rooster couldn't help but think what a walk in the park this part of the mission was. Hopefully, the rest of it would go as smoothly, but with how nervous Maverick and Ghost had been about it, Rooster had his doubts.

For fifteen minutes, they zipped through the ravine, only near the end passing SAMs perched on the tops of the mountains. A shudder passed down his spine, remembering the last time he'd encountered one. It'd shot him down, and he'd joined Maverick on the ground. The SAM hadn't been the only thing to ground him that day. Mav might as well have done the same thing when he shoved him, furious that Rooster was on the ground with him. A little arguing, a little shouting, and one good point made by Bradley calmed the irate captain down immediately. Looking back on it, Rooster could laugh, but he certainly hadn't been in the moment.

"Approaching target area. Prepare to attack," Ghost announced, lowering her jet even closer to the ground, practically skimming the trees underneath. "Rooster, get ready to destroy anything I might miss in my first run."

"It's you, Ghost. You won't miss," Rooster said confidently, and he was right. Watching her line up the shot, aim, and fire, she nailed the targets on the head, effectively taking them out in one fell swoop. Below, Rooster could see the terrorists running about in a panic, desperately searching for something- anything- to defend themselves from the onslaught brought forth by Ghost and her wingman.

"See any enemy fighters?" Ghost queried, banking a hard right and zeroing her sights on a new cluster of buildings.

"Nothing on radar and I don't see any in sight," he responded, wary about how easy the mission- which had been essentially deemed a suicide mission- was going. There should've been more resistance or something. What was off? Did they really hit the terrorist base during the one time they had no fighters in the air? Rooster doubted it.

"Shit!" Ghost swerved violently to the left, and without noticing what she avoided, Rooster followed. He didn't have to wait long for an answer. "Enemy fighters! Four of them!"

"Where the hell did they come from?!" Rooster demanded, scanning the skies to locate the hostiles. He spotted two above them, another one to his left and the last one to his right. They circled him and Ghosts like sharks, and a rush of rage coursed through him at the mere idea of any of the hostiles going after his leader.

"Rooster, stay focused on the buildings and low to the ground. It'll be harder for them to target us," Ghost instructed, flipping her plane around to line up for another strike. He simply responded with a "Yes, ma'am," intending to stick to her side until they returned to the carrier.

For the next ten agonizing minutes, Rooster and Ghost dodged the bullets, and missiles set their way, albeit narrowly, using the smoke from the explosions and their superior aircraft to evade. However, Rooster recognized that four against two still wasn't good odds, and they still had to make it back to the carrier without the enemy fighters finding out what country they served. The pilots would have no choice but to shoot them down, and now Bradley realized why the mission had been so deadly.

"Targets destroyed. I have two missiles remaining, plus 529 bullets left," Ghost informed, keeping low to the ground. "Rooster, what's your weapons count?"

"Three missiles and 654 bullets. How do we want to tackle this?"

"They're all Mig-29s, so it's not like we can take the slowest or oldest out first. Let's go for the closest ones. Stay on my wing."

"I've got your six, Ghost," Rooster assured, switching to missiles. They zeroed in on the nearest pair of Migs. Ghost instructed her wingman to stay behind them while she dipped beneath them, unbeknownst to the enemies. She shot up between the team in the blink of an eye, forcing them to break off from one another. Rooster went for the left one while Ghost somersaulted her plane to face the ground and chased after the right one.

"I got 'em!" Ghost announced, a slight tone of relief in her voice.

"Yeah! That's my girl!" Hangman cheered, and Rooster could hear the grin on his comrade's face.

"Bagged mine," Rooster added. "Looks like we're tied now for active air-to-air kills, Bagman."

"Don't get cocky. You still have two to take out, and my bets are on Ghost getting them."

"You going to be okay if she beats you out for number one?"

"She's the only one I'd allow it willingly."

"I appreciate the vote of confidence and the compliment, but we have a long way to go," Ghost said, unnaturally calm in the intense situation. "Let's take care of those other two. They're not going to- shit! I'm hit!"

"What?! Are you okay?!" Rooster demanded, scanning her plane for any sign of damage. "What hit you?"

"Gunfire from below. Appears we missed an AA gun. It didn't hit anything major, but one hit my nose and is causing a blockage for my bullets. I can only shoot missiles now. Guess I'm going to have to make my last shot count, and you'll have to take out the last."

"We need to take care of the anti-aircraft fire, too. If they could get you-"

"Go for it. I'll cover you."

Taking a deep breath and repeating the mantra "Don't think, just do" in his head, he circled around, searching for the weapon that had shot Ghost. It didn't take long to find them. They were aiming specifically for her and still firing. Rooster swiftly locked onto them, releasing a missile at the last second before pulling up to ensure nothing messed with the lock. It was a bullseye.

"Rooster, we need to split these fighters up," Ghost said, pulling ahead of him. "It seems I'm the target, so if we break, they're going to follow me. If they do, I want you to get behind them and take them out."

"That's risky..."

"I know, but I can handle it. Now, on the count of three, you go left, I'll go right. Three...two... one... break!"

Ghost and I diverted paths from each other, and as she predicted, the enemy fighters chased after her. I raced after them, attempting but failing to get a good lock on either. Between Ghost's mercurial flight path and their attempt to follow her, it became impossible. When I noted this to Ghost, she pulled Maverick's signature move: the Cobra. She executed the maneuver flawlessly, albeit narrowly missing scraping the canopy of one of the Migs with her engine. Her action's sheer unexpectedness and brazenness stunned the enemies long enough for me to get a lock and fire at one of them, but my missile missed by a hair's breadth. Ghost took the shot instead, and luck was on her side because hers did hit.

"You have to take out the last one, Rooster," Ghost remarked, flying alongside him as they zeroed in on the last target. "I'm out of missiles, and my guns are useless."

One missile left and some bullets. If Mav could take out two fifth gens in a fourth gen with the same ammo, I can do this. If I can blindly and accurately shoot a missile into a tiny opening, then I can do this. With those affirmations in mind, Rooster steeled himself and began the effort of locking onto the last Mig. He had to make the shot count because both his and Ghost's lives depended on it, and shooting an enemy plane with gunfire wasn't as simple as they made it look in movies, nor as easy as Maverick made it look.

However, their last opponent must've been top of their class because no matter how hard Rooster tried to get a lock, the Mig kept evading. "Come on, Rooster, come on!" he hissed under his breath, annoyed with himself. Maverick and Ghost would've had him by him now, so why couldn't he?

Oh, let's not go down that road... he thought, knowing fully well what the answer was.

"Rooster, you've got this," Ghost encouraged calmly, "don't lose focus."

As if her words breathed the wish into existence, Bradley got a lock on the Mig, a strong one.

"Firing!" Rooster announced. He watched the projectile speed toward the target, unwavering, straight and true and-

"Oh, what the fuck?!" he demanded in exasperation when the Mig somersaulted out of the way, narrowly dodging the missile. Rooster and Ghost zipped past him, now in an impossible situation: her out of ammo and unable to use her guns, him only able to use his guns on a plane that was quicker than his. How could he catch up?

"Shit, he's on us!" Ghost said, flying crisscross patterns with Rooster in an attempt to throw off the enemy's missile targeting system.

"Do you need air support?" Maverick asked, the well-hidden undertone of worry in his voice.

"Negative," Cyclone remarked. "Unless enemies are within range of the carrier, we will not be launching air support."

Hangman scoffed before Maverick could respond. "What do you mean 'negative'? If they're in trouble-"

"That's what made this mission so risky. I stand by what I said. The answer is no, Lieutenant Seresin."

"Rooster, break on the count of three. Hopefully, the enemy follows me so you can get behind him," Ghost instructed firmly. She counted down, and on three, they parted. "Damn it! He's going after you, Rooster! We need another plan!"

"I'm all ears!"

"Shit..." Ghost breathed, her voice trembling. "Okay, I have an idea. Do you trust me?"

"With my life."

"Bring him around, so the sun is on his right. I'll come at him from the side and use the sun to hide me. Then, I'll fly between y'all and have him fly through my jetwash."

"Ghost, the timing on that will have to be exact. If you miss it by a second-"

"This is the only way right now with him on your tail. He's in a lighter, faster aircraft, and you're the only one between us with weapons. We need to disorient him. While he's in the stall, you can take him out with gunfire. It's not ideal, but it's him or us, and I'm choosing us."

An ominous feeling settled in his bones. Rooster despised this plan, and all the nightmares that had plagued him from the day he accepted to join the mission to now burst forth in his mind: Ghost crashing into the ground from an unrecoverable inferno. If she died pulling this stunt to save his life...

But they had no other choice. It's not like Rooster had any better ideas. Reluctantly, he did as she ordered. As soon as he pulled into position, Ghost informed him she was on her way, coming at them from the right and using the sun as a shield.

"I'm almost there," she said, "Almost there. And if this doesn't work out, well, no one will miss a ghost."

"When we get back, I'm going to talk to you about comedic timing," he replied, the foreboding sensation running down his spine again. She's got this. You're being paranoid.

Rooster turned around to see where Ghost was, hoping he'd get to watch her fly between him and the Mig so he could time his own turnaround correctly.

But that didn't happen.

Instead, Rooster watched in horror as Ghost, coming in with her plane at a ninety-degree angle, sliced through the Mig, causing a massive explosion. The remnants of both jets spiraled to the ground, along with Rooster's heart and sanity. ****

Tags: @supernaturaldawning @shanimallina87 @polikszena @lgg5989 @callsign-milano @bradshawsandbridgetons @harper1666 @shadeops21 @double-j @copaceticwriter @rotating-obsessions @sharkprestige @thedarkinmansfield @lapilark @mickeyluvs @starshipfantasy @bennypears00 @mandowife221b @the-navistar-carol @getmyprettynameoutofyourmouth @carmellasworld @0hb0llocks @nicangelinee @summ3rlotus @3picklesinajar @magentamistress @the-other-hawkeye @elisha-chloe @emilymarie105 @persephone11110 @luckyladycreator2 @boogdleyboo @k0k3 @bibissparkles @lilmonstrjedi @stinkyrat09 @cocoag19 @suburbzchick @pansexualwitchwhoneedstherapy @goodstuff28 @georgiasimpson95 @horselovers2016 @tanithpriad125 @davidshawnsown @sowolfstudentme @agagafafa @callmemana @sec17 @brxklyn15 @h0ppy0the0sheep @tomanybandstolove @abigailannz @mini-bee-bee

Chapters: Chp 1 Chp 2 Chp 3 Chp 4 Chp 5 Chp 6 Chp 7 Chp 8 Chp 9 Chp 10 Chp 11 Chp 12 Chp 13 Chp 14 Chp 15 Chp 16 Chp 17 Chp 18 Chp 19 Chp 20 Chp 21 Chp 22 Chp 23Chp 24 Chp 25 Chp 26 Chp 27 Chp 28 Chp 29 Chp 30 Chp 31 Chp 32 Chp 33 Chp 34 Chp 35 Chp 36

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prowerprojects · 9 months

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Aside from noticing a shift in how "found family" is portrayed in fandoms these days, I wonder if this is a semi-conscious side effect of Tails over the years being semi-shafted until the past decade. (Aside from AOSTH{though was often a kidnap victim} and Boom, most adaptions had him downplayed or outright replaced. Yes, Prime, this technically includes you. The comics aren't exactly clean either, but Archie is the most guilty.)

But yeah, I get the appeal of "parental big sibling" tropes. Not every sibling relationship is the same though, or is all peachy. I don't think Sonic thinks Tails is so inept that he can't trust him to be on his own in most circumstances, young or not. (Fox is more likely to run INTO trouble than make it himself. High intelligence doesn't mean you won't do dumb stuff on occasion; especially if you're not well-versed, but I sooner buy the idea of 'baby' Tails having separation issues than willingly getting into a shootout with cops. Not unless he was saving someone anyway) Sonic's influence on Tails is mostly guidance and support. While Tails does seek approval, Sonic does not have huge authority over him. Tails striking out on his own and living his own life doesn't make his bond with Sonic any less close. Reunions can be just be as emotional, y'know? (Plus, wouldn't Sonic be proud of that? For Tails to achieve his dreams through his own efforts? Give me a Sonic being the loudest person at his little brother's science presentation.)

Also, I don't think Tails would care who Sonic dates. Curious at best, and I'm sure he would want to be on good terms with his romantic partner and even bond with them, but I don't think he nor Sonic would appreciate the former being babied at every turn. Plus, wouldn't Tails being a gremlin by giving snide, knowing looks to Sonic be funnier? (And there's plenty of sibling activities that doesn't involve parenting one another: Movie nights, water gun fights, pranking, sparring, camping, gaming. Even just napping in the sun under a tree.)

Likely another side effect to the "non-action" and "dependency" Tails got hit with. (Which is funny because I have witnessed at times back then of some accusing Tails of being potentially appearing too competent to the point of making Sonic look "weak". Wanting Tails to have limits on his mechanic skills is one thing, but saying he should stick to tinkering vehicles only is very restricting though?) Nine may have endured bullying longer, but it doesn't mean it stopped having an effect on Tails himself. (Called names, had his tails messed with, people smashing his inventions. He may grown to embrace his qualities, but he clearly still has self worth issues that is ripe for exploring more. Nine's is mainly trust. Companionship too, but mostly trust. They've both been hurt, one was just lucky enough to get support early and ongoing.) Heh, I could go on a tangent on how finicky fans are at the thought Tails talking back to Sonic or dare have a different opinion than him and Nine gets a pass because he's "Anti-Tails", but that'd be another essay. xD (But yeah, hopefully Prime ends well.)

((Oh, and cool ponytail Tails art, btw. :] ))

Hmmm, could be. Early portrayals call still influence the way people see a character, even after all those years. (I mean, Sonic and chili dogs thing even got canonized and everything)

I definitely see Sonic as more of a mentor rather than parent figure. I think Sonic has a lot of trust and respect for Tails, and it's hard for me to imagine Sonic like. Grounding Tails or something similar. If this happened I imagine it would be such a wild concept to Tails he would think it's a joke, but more importantly Sonic wouldn't even think of doing this, I don't think he thinks of himself as that kind of authority figure in Tails's life. And Sonic is Tails's biggest fan definitely. I like that one bit from a q&a where Sonic gets asked who's smarter, Tails or Eggman, and he immediately picks Tails... (It's so cute, idk, especially since there's no way to actually prove it, and it's probably not even true (of course, "smartness" is relative), and then he goes on to say how Eggman is still a close second and very dangerous and not to underestimate him)

[No comment on the shipping thing, I pretty much agree though]

I've mostly seen people wanting Tails to have a limit on his skills to make him as a character more "grounded" and "realistic", but Shadow can have 10000 superpowers and I don't see anybody complaining. You know what else is unrealistic? Flying by spinning your tails. Especially since Tails was portrayed as this "pan-purpose scientist" since the beginning, and it's not a part of "flanderization". Like for sure, vehicle engineering has always been his specialty and biggest interest, but for example he made a Chaos Emerald radar back in Sonic 3, and had a robot back in Tails Adventure. People bring up the fact that he struggled with a plane prototype in Adventure 1 as an example of him being not that great with his mechanical skills initially, but he had already made a rocket back in Sonic the Fighters at that point.

Yeah, bullying messes you up big time, and it's not easy to get over it... If this wasn't something Tails had to deal with in the past, he might have a completely different outlook on himself nowadays, even if he still felt inadequate. Though I do like how the games don't really push this into our faces all the time, it's just a part of the backstory that helps understand the character better but you can still understand what's up with him even if you don't know the details. (Also makes me think he probably doesn't talk about this, it's something that only Sonic knows about most likely, and even then still probably not in detail).

(There's a lot of things that I don't quite like in Prime, I just don't bother talking about it, but I'm pretty optimistic on how they're handling Nine! (& Tails))

(Haha thanks =^-^= )

#tails #sonic & tails #project.txt #project.ask

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fairymint · 1 year

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Good Morning! So i probably won't be able to lift my semi-hiatus this year at all. I've been very busy with certain adult issues combined with scheduling Gender Stuff. Not really 'venting' under the cut, but as an FYI and secondary record (although the situation may be very upsetting to know.)

So barely a month in, we've been served a bunch of legal papers saying that the mortgage hasn't been paid- some out of state bank owns this building now. With intent to sell and evict despite it being an entire complex, supposedly. There's no properties available for rent in town that allow pets, so this may put like 60+ households with dogs/cats out on the street for no reason.

There has also been a demand for delay of sale for two months, after which they must serve a 3 month eviction notice since this is a foreclosure; I estimate the tenants here (us) have until about July to move out.

Dealing with all this has been disrupting my sleep schedule. Both my gender clinic and this building's office (along with my bank) conduct business at like 9 fuckin AM, i normally wake up at 4. And, neighbors and random people will loudly gossip outside my window waking me up to boot. (most ppl in town are spreading misinformation b/c they can't understand a packet full of legal jargon. I have to breathe down necks of official staff to get any info, it's like pulling teeth.) I'm tempted to just force myself to stay a morning person tbh.

We do have possible other places to live that don't rely on corporations and mortgages- homeowner buddies that like us personally and wouldn't kick us out for frivolous reasons. But moving by July will suck, especially out of town. By the time we get that done, I have top surgery plans to make this fall and might be out of action then. and we need to buy a car, still.

So yeah, gonna be busy doing everything to prepare for that. I might not even be living in this town by next year. Managing my mental health with insomnia like this has been a little tough, so my brain will start in with evil things pertaining to my RP self-esteem. There's a constant urge to 'Better' my blog despite not having much time or a clear mind to do it, just been sticking to my comfort zone admittedly. I'm a little irritable otherwise about both work and online spaces being so casually demanding in some corners;;; Hopefully the worst of it is over soon and i get a little break from business shit- we're safe for now and should continue to keep being safe. Thank goodness we're financially stable.

#ooc.#homelessness mention #so. apologies if I'm not initiating/active sometimes;;;#especially with organized shit or things outside my comfort zone ffff #my mood is constantly sighing or salty;;; aaaaa #still gotta eat breakfast and take my T now that i'm home for the day so i should feel Better after that. jesus.#ask to tag

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traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors · 1 year

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i'm a secretive person. i keep a lot of secret. i do have people i trust with my biggest sins tho, who thankfully still accept me as i am. but there's still one thing i never told anyone: my serious struggle with hygiene.

for some reason, admitting i struggle a lot with it to the point of not showering for weeks at a time is just not something i can do. i know that this stems from living with people who are super hygienic and take cleaning seriously, and are quick to get grossed out by even slightly dirty stuff. but also? hygiene, or the lack thereof, is smth that is considered a valid insult by a lot of ppl, even progressive ones. i'm not in the mental state to convey my thoughts much, but what i do know is the shaming of unhygienic and dirty people has gone so bad to the point i'm more willing to admit my biggest wrongdoings that drag me down with guilt than admitting i can not shower for weeks at a time. as someone whose value is basically "i don't care whatever you do as long as it doesn't hurt anyone", it's wild that i consider admitting my actions, which did hurt ppl, as easier than admitting to being unhygienic, which doesnt hurt anyone.

it's also annoying, ngl. like, the fact that i'm too constantly exhausted to the point of not even being able to take care of myself just shows how much my mental state has deteriorated. but because my biggest symptom is the lack of hygiene (which i dont have the guts to admit to people), i cant openly admit that im struggling. whenever i try to open up and seek support, people always say to try doing this and that. but i cannot! if even showering is too hard then how am i supposed to get the energy for things that require more spoons! but ofc i cant say it, not when i have zero guarantee that the other person wont shame me for my lack of hygiene. i do want an outcome where after admitting how much i struggle, the other person turns sympathetic. but seeing at how these ppl treat unhygienic people... yeah nah. never gonna admit it

Hi anon,

Please know you're not alone.

It's okay to be secretive, you don't have to share anything you don't want to, and you deserve the right to choose what is known and what is not. However, you don't deserve to feel silenced about things you'd like to talk about.

It makes sense why hygiene may be a struggle for you - not having enough energy makes it really hard to do such a big task like showering, and afterwards can be even more exhausting.

Please know that not only is there no judgment here, but I understand the fear of scrutiny in this society where everyone is expected to stick to a specific hygienic routine and anyone who doesn't meet this is immediately seen as disgusting, without considering the contributing factors.

I understand that desire for all odds to be in your favor, that anyone who knows about your hygiene habits would be understanding and supportive. It can be really hard to accept that some people simply won't understand and will be disrespectful, but that it's more a reflection of them than you. You are valid no matter what critical people have to say. Internalizing that message is definitely easier said than done, but it is possible.

I think there is some pride to take in the fact that despite you saying that you can't openly admit you're struggling, this is a public space, and so hopefully some of that shame can feel lifted.

I hope I could help. Please let us know if you need anything.

-Bun

#mod bun #trauma talks

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telomeke · 10 months

Text

TUMBLR ADS

A lot of online vitriol about how Tumblr is a broken site, etc. etc.

I'm way behind on deadlines and deliverables but I just have to take a moment to pen some thoughts about this.

Tumblr isn't at the level of YouTube where the ads break up a video and ruin the experience. On YT I really wish they would find a way to insert ads at appropriate junctures, but that might make it too easy for people to skip them maybe. But to interrupt things mid-sentence, to interrupt a SONG, it's too much. (I usually just right-click and open a duplicate video and watch it there, which sometimes works and sometimes opens another ad, so... no real solution in sight yet. Sigh...)

But Tumblr ads are either posts within the feed, or in sidebars (caveat: I'm only on desktop, and have no idea about the app experience). So for us on desktop, it's nowhere near as vile a situation as it is on YT. (Although once I saw two BL actors leaning in for a kiss only to be interrupted by an ad for mouthwash or breath mints or something like that, which was brilliant. 😂)

Anyway you can easily skip past the in-feed ads on Tumblr by tapping the 'J' and 'K' keys if it doesn't interest you. The dashboard feed can be so varied anyway so I don't feel like seeing some random post that's actually an ad really detracts that much from the experience.

The ads in the sidebar are a win-win for me, and I am actually in favor of more of this. (There are ways to balance their visibility, done tastefully, so that ads won't be too distracting. Hopefully they'll get this right the majority of the time.) You don't have to interact with ads if you don't want to, but if they bring in revenue, that can only strengthen Tumblr.

Which brings me to my main point – Tumblr is still a business. It brings in a modest revenue, though I can't find numbers as to how profitable it is. (Profit = revenue or income minus expenses, BTW.)

At the very basic level – if it does not turn a profit, or at least break even – it will SHUT DOWN. It is not a charity; it does not provide a service necessary for life; it is not government-run. IF IT DOES NOT TURN A PROFIT, IT WILL BE SHUT DOWN.

As Tumblr users, we are provided with a free service. There is no cost to us unless you choose to spend. The Tumblr experience is greatly wonky in parts, but there's still a lot to love.

Which is why I can't understand calls to block ads or boycott use of the website.

There are so many posts on here (maybe that explains it?) from people who don't seem to understand this: if money coming in is less than the money needed to keep you alive, YOU DIE. The principle also applies to every system that needs life-supporting input (like nutrients to a plant, food to an animal, fuel to a machine).

ADS BRING IN REVENUE. And Tumblr NEEDS revenue (or income) to stay afloat, they need that revenue to be greater (or at least no less) than their operating expenses, and they need to figure out a way to get that revenue consistently.

The ad situation here isn't toxic the way it is on YT, and it can be lived with. I'm trying to think of ways to support the website that don't hurt my pocket with unnecessary purchases, and ad revenue is one.

Right click on the ads if you will and open them on separate tabs that you don't watch. If it brings in revenue, that's a win-win. Ad revenue is part of life support for Tumblr. And I want Tumblr to stick around. If there's not enough money coming in, who's going to keep the site up and running (and hopefully make the improvements we want to see)? I wasn't around in the early days of the website but even in my short time here I've seen enough positive changes (especially around usability) to be cautiously optimistic for the future (like the number of images per post, better formatting options, etc.).

We need Tumblr to become roaringly successful like Facebook or Twitter before any strike action to hit at the lifeblood of the website (revenue) will result in positive outcomes for the users. But if it gets too difficult or unprofitable to run, it will just be easier for the owners to pull the plug (remembering that Tumblr isn't yet seen as a prized possession in any of the present or past owners' portfolios, having been sold several times, sometimes at colossal markdowns).

"Because we love her so much, let's just throttle our princess bride and force her father, the King, to take better care of her. The King, who's killed so many of his other daughters, will make an exception this time, even though she's not the most favored, the most beautiful or the most useful one to him. Yeah, this'll convince him."

Really? He might join you instead.

#tumblr ads #said with love‚ so please don't come at me

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tobiotetsu · 3 years

Text

the lovers

reversed (prequel)

chapter two: ten of cups

miya atsumu x f!reader

description: the lovers card was a blessing in tarot if pulled up right, with the meaning of true love, prosperity and unity. however, if pulled in reversed, it signified disappointment, foolishness and failure. if he was destined to be your soulmate, why was his presence accompanied by chaos and destruction? if miya atsumu was your fatal flaw, how could he possibly be your fate?

genre: soulmate au, 18+, angst, enimes-to-lovers

cw: family issues, mentions of death, grammar errors

a/n: SO excited to write the next chp!! feedback & reblogs are truly appreciated<3 (wc: 4.4k)

prequel masterlist ♕ chp three

From the outside, the Miya’s were a very well-known family with a prestigious family. Miya Kaito was a well-known businessman in Japan who took over his father’s Marketing company. Miya Izumi, the twins’ mother was much lesser known than their father but was still in the public eye. She was an author of a best-selling novel who lived in Sendai but moved to Kasai when she married Kaito. They had two twin sons who excelled in volleyball and were sure to go professional straight after high school.

They were picture-perfect. But to your eyes, they were everything but.

Atsumu’s prediction of his father's absence at dinner two weeks ago had turned out to be correct. You, Osamu and his mother had waited at the table for almost 40 minutes before coming to the conclusion that once again, he was not coming home.

The lavish mansion was a veil for a broken home.

A father who worked more than he saw his family, a mother who went on trips weekly to resorts to escape her life and two children who had to suffer at the hands of their parents’ actions.

You couldn’t help but think of their family dynamic as you were in the kitchen scouring through the fridge for breakfast, a day before your 18th birthday. Mr. and Mrs. Miya weren’t soulmates but they seemed like they didn’t even like each other. It seemed like their public reputation was the only thing keeping them together.

That was the last thing that you wanted with your soulmate. You were less than 24 hours away from turning eighteen and you couldn’t help but think about who they might be.

Do they live in the Huygo prefecture? Are they the same age as you? Are they kind? A romantic? Were they just as excited to know your identity? Would we have a physical or emotional connection?

Questions like these ran through your mind ever since you woke up.

Usually, your breakfasts were something solid to fuel you for the rest of the day, but you were so nervous for tomorrow that you could barely keep anything down. You decide that some fruit would be enough for now. You stack clear contains which green grapes, strawberries and cherries in one arm as you use your free one to close the fridge door.

Maybe they’re in California? You’d meet them there when studying for school perhaps?

The questions continued to flow as you sat down at the counter in the kitchen on a bar stool as you munched on the grapes. You were so wrapped up in your questions that you barely even noticed that someone had walked in.

You almost choke on the grape when you realize who she was. It was the same girl who was making out with Atsumu in the cafeteria two weeks ago. She also must have been the owner of those over-exaggerated moans that still made you sick to your stomach.

Even though you took a while to acknowledge her, she still hadn’t noticed you. Confused laced your eyes are you stare at her half-naked figure opening the fridge in front of you. The only thing covering her was a large white button shirt with two buttons together at her chest, which you assumed was Atsumu’s.

As you were studying her in slight disgust, she finally noticed your presence.

“Oh hi, I’m Yui,” she said as she tucked her dirty blonde hair behind her hair.

“Yeah, I know, we’re in the same calculus class,” you say before you place mother grape in your mouth. Judging by her reaction to your words, she hadn’t even acknowledged you, but you couldn’t care less.

She stood there in a slight shock before hesitantly speaking again.

“So, are you dating ‘Samu?” she asked as she leaned her body on the side of the fridge door. Her words caused you to choke on the grape that laid on your tongue.

“Samu? No!” You manage to squeak out between your violent coughs. “He’s just my friend”

She seems to be confused by your statement. You never had thought about Osamu in that way and you weren’t sure why she would think that.

“Well, then why are you around here all the time?” Now it was your turn to look confused at her words.

“Excuse me?” You raise an eyebrow as you reply.

“You were the one who knocked on Atsumu’s door, right? The one he called princess?” she said as she crossed her arms in front of her half-exposed chest.

Ah, now you understood. Was she jealous?

“Yeah, I was.” your tone changes as your patience was slowly seeping through your fingers like grains of sand.

She nodded her head before stepping closer to the opposite of the table. “‘Tsumu’s mine, so don’t come around here anymore if it's for him.” she spits out with a grin as if she had accomplished something.

You take a moment to respond to her. In one swift movement, you stand from your stool and start to close the container of grapes in front of you.

“One, I live here, I’ve been living here since I was 6,” you said as you snapped the containers louder than you usually did. “Two, the last thing I want is to be around Atsumu.”

You gather the containers and make your way in front of Yui. She said nothing as she stood and watched you place the fruits back into its assigned tray.

“And three, he’s not yours. You’ll be gone by the end of the week, sweetheart.” that was the last thing you said to her as you exited the kitchen. You didn’t stick around the see her jaw hang slack, appalled at the words that came out of your mouth.

You knew she attacked you because of Atsumu but was she that oblivious that she couldn’t see what laid between the two of you?

pure annoyance and animosity

“The audacity!” Stephanie exclaimed as you retold the events from this morning as you two sat outside the school waiting for the boys' volleyball practice to conclude.

“I don’t even want to think about it anymore, it gives me a headache.” you shook your head to the side as you try to forget the whole meeting. “Thanks again for giving me a ride today too, Steph.”

Your usual ride had to stay later than usual to make up his missed chemistry test and you rather walk the 30 mins than ask Atsumu to join him home. Stephanie was more than happy to drive you home after akaashi came out from practice. Because of Mara’s feelings for Atsumu, you never felt comfortable discussing him with her. You didn’t want her to feel bad for liking someone she despised. One can not control whom they love, so you spared her feelings and confided in Stephanie when it came to Atsumu.

“Don’t mention it!” she said as a smile pulled at her lips. “You excited for tomorrow? Finally going to be 18 and find your person!”

Your birthday completely slipped your mind as you focused on the Yui situation.

“I’m so nervous! hopefully, I can find him,” you said as you looked down at your hands. Stephanie could recognize your worry and placed her hand on your shoulder.

“Try not to worry y/n. You’ll find them. I remember the same feeling right before my birthday. The anxiety was eating at my soul but, in the end, everything was perfect. It’ll be like that for you too.” She empathized.

Akaashi and her were your only pair of soulmates to admire; They were the only two you knew. Your parents were also soulmates but you couldn’t see their love blossom due to his passing. You saw how much your mother loved and grieved him, but you weren’t old enough at the time to remember him loving her as much.

“I think they’re done,” Stephanie said as she held her hand. “I felt his signal.”

Akaashi and her shared physical touch. If in 500 meters of her, whatever Akaashi felt physically, so would Stephanie.

And as if it was timed, right after her statement the team came through the school's entrance doors.

“Hey!” Akaashi said as he waived at the two of you. He situated himself right behind his girlfriend. He muttered a small ‘hello’ as he kissed the top of her head and held her hand and rubbed small circles with his thumb against the back of it.

so that must have been their signal.

You could only wish your soulmate was as kind and loving as Akaashi.

You unknowingly stare at the couple in front of you as your phone starts to ring with your mother's picture displayed on the screen.

“Hi, mom” you answer.

“y/n! I need you to run to the store for me. I forgot a few ingredients for dinner today, could you get Osamu to drive you to the market?” Your mother said urgently.

“Uh, I would but ‘Samu’s taking a test right now, he won't be done any time soon.”

“Then can you ask Atsumu to take you?” Her words made you cringe at the thought of being in such close proximity to him for that long.

“Mom, I-” but before you could finish your refusal she interrupts.

“Please, y/n. I’m desperate.” she pleaded.

You wanted to protest. You wanted to tell her that going with Atsumu would be impossible, that he wouldn’t even take you in the first place but then you remembered how hard she works. She worked this hard for you, so this was the least you could do for her.

“Okay, I’ll ask him,” you say in a slightly sombre tone as you accept your defeat.

“Thank you!! I’ll send you the list, love you!” those were the last words you heard before she hung up.

“Ready to go?” Stephanie asked as she swung her bag over her shoulder.

“Change of plans. You guys go without me, I gotta find Atsumu.” Both their faces synchronously scrunched together in confusion.

“Are you going to be okay?” akaashi asked, clearly concerned.

You vigorously nod your head and send them on their way, thanking them for offering the ride home.

A deep sigh escapes your mouth as you make your way inside the school to find Atsumu. Luckily, or unluckily, you found him immediately standing at his locker as he was laughing at something Suna said.

You debated turning back twice but decided to suck it up. With strong strides, you walk up to Atsumu’s figure.

“Atsumu” even though you aimed for your voice to come off strong, even you could hear the strain in it.

He wore his usual volleyball attire, identical to Osamu. White joggers with a vertical black stripe doing down the side of each leg accompanied by a black t-shirt, which clung to his body due to the aftermath of an hour-long practice.

You approaching him for a change, took him by surprise a bit, but even surprise he still managed to wear that smirk to antagonize you.

“What’cha want, princess?” he said as he placed his hands in the pockets of his pants.

There was that damn nickname again.

“Um, I need you to take me to the market,” you say bluntly. Sugarcoating with Atsumu would only lead to his enjoyment but, somehow your words managed to do so anyway.

His smirk grew as he leaned back on the lockers behind him.

“And where’s the person who ya wanted to take you?” he knew he wasn’t your first choice. Hell, he wasn’t even your third or fourth choice.

“‘Samu can’t, so can you or not?” you probably shouldn’t have given him an ultimatum, especially because you had the lower ground.

“Sorry princess, can’t,” he said without a care as he slid his arm through his maroon Inarizaki jacket. “Meetin’ with Yui”

Just her name was enough to remember this morning. Your face contorts in disgust at the thought of her roaming the house barely clothed.

“Oh, you don’t have to be jealous, princess.” atsumu says after witnessing your reaction and assuming it was because of him. You can't help but snort at his response.

“I think you’re telling the wrong girl that.” you can't help but laugh as you speak. Your words earn a slight head tilt from a confused Atsumu and an amused whistle from Suna.

You turn to take your leave from his presence, but before you walk out the school entrance you turn back one more.

“Tell your girlfriend to watch what she says to me next time.” Your voice was much stronger than before. You didn’t stay behind to see the distraught faces of the two men you left behind.

You couldn’t even hear the way Atsumu slammed his locker and Suna’s voice calling him as he rushed off.

You should have eaten more today.

That was the only thing that you could think while you scurried through the food aisles slowly compiling the ingredients your mother needed. Her listen was all over the place; enoki mushrooms, powdered sugar, sesame seeds, fatty tuna, vanilla extract, rice. The list went on longer than you expected.

All the feelings you were being put through today managed to stop you from eating lunch as well. The only thing that was in your stomach was five grapes that you managed to get down before your encounter with the unexpected visitor.

The last thing on the list was a jar of raspberry preserves, which of course was located on the highest shelf of the aisle. As you stare at it, debating if you should make a fool of yourself to jump while flailing your arms to reach, a voice came from behind you.

“Need a boost, princess?” His voice started you causing you to move backwards and stumble into his chest but quickly move away from him. Before you could respond Atsumu reaches up and grabs the jar that you were eyeing.

You turn around to him with wide eyes as he hands you the jar without his usual banter. Silently, you nod your head and take the preserves from him.

“Why’d you come? Weren’t you going to hang out with your girlfriend?” you asked as you placed the jar into the cart.

“She’s not my girlfriend,” he said firmly as he placed a hand on the cart to halt you from moving.

Why was he acting this way over this? It actually seemed like he was bothered by the situation.

You opened your mouth to respond but the voice that danced on your ears did not belong to you.

“Well, this is a sight I never thought I’d see.” A deep voice sounded from behind Atsumu. Both you and Atsumu whipped your heads in the voice's direction only to be met with two faces that put a smile on your face instantly.

“Aran!” Atsumu bellowed loudly, as he embraced his friend while you exchange greetings with Kita.

“What are you guys doing here?” you asked.

“We came back from college today, decided to go shoppin’,” Kita said as he lifted up the small basket in his hand.

“Now, the more important question is, what are you two doing here?” Aran asked as his eyes bounced between you and Atsumu. Aran was a friend of the twins ever since they were 9, therefore he was your friend as well. He knew exactly how you felt about Atsumu, so that would explain the way he was looking at the two of you, alone at a grocery store as the sky was enveloped by darkness.

“My mom asked me to pick some things and uh, ‘Samu was busy,” you said quickly, hoping that he didn’t think differently.

Aran nodded his head while pressing his lips together.

“Say, aren’t you guys graduatin’ soon?” Kita said as he shifted his basket from one hand to the other. “D’ya know where you’re going for school y/n?”

Now, this was the first thing that put a smile on your face throughout the entire day. “Yeah, UCI, California!” you said with a proud girn.

“America? What program?” Kita inquired with wide eyes.

“Journalism!” the one word made everyone’s eyes widened.

“Of course it’s journalism. She's the one-woman team that runs the Inarizaki newspaper.” Aran said with a wide smile.

You continued the conversation with Aran and Kita as Atsumu wandered off somewhere in the store. You weren’t sure where he had gone but you didn’t care enough to worry.

As you and Kita conversed, Aran spotted Atsumu at the opposite end of the aisle and slips away from the conversation.

“Bro, where d’ya go?” Aran asked slightly concerned.

“Just walkin’ round,” Atsumu said as he swung his keys around his index finger.

“So, y/n’s leaving Japan?” Atsumu had an idea of where Arans questioning was leading to as he slowly nodded his head in agreement.

“How does ‘Samu feel about that?”

ding ding ding

“Probably not too good,” Atsumu asked knowing exactly how his brother feels about your pretending departure. “I wouldn’t feel too good if the girl I loved since I was 6 was leavin’ the country either”

“So is he gonna tell her?” Aran whispered.

Atsumu let out a soft snort at Aran’s words. “He had 12 years to tell her, ya think he’s gonna now?”

Atsumu knew his twin brother loved you since before they even started playing volleyball. And ever since then, Osamu has never once attempted to tell you of his feelings. It drove Atsumu mad, but he never interfered between you and him.

Before the conversion could further between him and Aran, they both see Kita waving them down.

“Let’s go Aran, y/n has to get this stuff home before dinner!” Kita said as the two large men approached you.

“Happy early birthday, y/n,” Kita said as he gave you a small hug.

At Kita’s words, Aran checked the date on his phone in a panic. “It’s tomorrow!”

“Yeah, the only reason why Kita knew was it came up in conversation” you replied. You were never one to flaunt your birthday. It wasn’t that you didn’t enjoy big parties and multiple guests but, to you birthdays meant something else.

Your fifth birthday was the only one that you could remember before your father’s death. It was celebrated by only your mother, father and you, but it seemed like the most fun a five-year-old could have. Your mother always mentioned how your father enjoyed small birthdays and how they were sacred. he would say to “only share them with people who brought you pure happiness and expected nothing in return”. And that was now how you chose to live, just like him.

“Actually, I'm having a small dinner tomorrow, do you two want to join? ‘Samu will be there, so you could catch up with him.” Your invitation earned a smile from Kita and Aran but a deep frown by the blonde beside them.

You hadn’t invited Atsumu to your birthday dinner for obvious reasons and weren’t planning to.

The two men looked at each other debating whether to accept or decline but ultimately accepted.

You were expecting Atsumu to chime in but, he hadn’t. He only looked at you with narrow eyes and a frown.

His eyes were laced with an emotion that you couldn’t quite decipher. Anger? Annoyance?

It was only then that you missed Atsumu’s stupid banter because this Atsumu,

This Atsumu seemed to be a thousand times worse

Ten minutes had passed since you last left the market and about twenty minutes since you last spoke to each other.

You two sat in complete silence as Atsumu drove to the Miya mansion in Atsumu’s Red Lamborghini. Mr. Miya bought both the twins a car of their choice for their 18th. Osamu had gone with a black Benz jeep while Atsumu went for the most flashy option.

You debated speaking to him, to break the awkward silence that filled the space between the two of you but Atsumu had already gotten ahead of you.

“Not going to extend the invitation for yer dinner?” His tone returned to its usually annoying self.

You look at him with a blank face and tired eyes. “Are you joking? It’s not like you’d come anyways.”

It was hard to believe that you two were once friends. Now you two could barely be in a car together without it imploding. He was the one that left you out of things, he was the one that no longer wanted to be your friend when you two were 8 years old. So why was antagonizing you over an invitation he wouldn’t even accept in the first place?

He just wanted to pester you in every way possible.

Minutes passed and once again the car was quiet as a mouse. Till Atsumu, once again sparked up a conversation.

“Yui,” You whipped to face Atsumu in the diver seat.

“Excuse me?”

“Yui. What did she say to ya?” He spoke without taking his eyes off the road, foot shifting between the gas and the break.

You were too tired to lie or ask why he cared, so you answered truthfully. “Your girlfriend didn’t like your nickname.”

“Not my girlfriend,” he said curtly while turning the wheel to turn on to your street.

“Fuck buddy, whatever.” you aimlessly correct yourself.

“Not anymore,” Before you could even comprehend his response, you two passed through the white gate lining the mansion.

It was far later than you thought you’d be home. The moon sat brightly in the sky as it was surrounded by small stars. it was basically night You only hoped that your mother wouldn’t be mad.

Unexpectedly, Atsumu helped you carry the grocery bags into the house. He strung 4 bags on his arms as you were left to carry one. You insisted that you can carry half his load but he was already through the door.

“‘Tsumu! y/n! Bless your hearts, thank you kids so much.” your mother said as you two placed the grocery bags on the counter in the kitchen. “Thank you for taking her, ‘Tsumu.”

“Of course, Obasa-” before atsumu could finish speaking to your mother something had caught his attention from the dining room.

Or perhaps, someone.

Before you knew it, Atsumu ran to the dining room and stood in front of the table. Instinctively, you follow him to the scene in front of you.

Sitting at the table was Osamu across from Mrs. Miya, and in between them, at the head of the table, sat a man you had not seen in a long time.

Miya Kaito, the twins’ father

“Atsumu” his father's voice sounded cold and hard as it said his son's name. Atsumu must have thought the same thing as you could see him wince at the sound of his name rolling off his father's tongue.

“So now ya decide to come home? What, finally got tired of sleeping at the office?” Atsumu’s voice was blaring, anger coursed through his veins, the only thing he could see was red.

“‘Tsumu! Stop it!” Osamu shouted from his seat in hopes to stop his brother.

“I wanted to have a meal with my family, so just sit down, Atsu-” Atsumu cut his father off not wanting to hear what he wanted to say.

“Cut the bullshit dad! Yer too busy for us and yer too busy for ma. so don’t even fucking try to fix this family, ya broke it a long time ago!” Atsumu’s voice raised in volume.

“Atsumu!” Mrs. Miya shrieked for her son to stop.

“I’m here now, okay? So sit down!” Mr. Miya’s voice matched Atsumu’s in volume as he urged his son to stop.

“You’re a fucking idiot if you think I’m gonna sit down and play house with ya.” was the last thing Atsumu said before storming up the stairs. You stood there in complete shock at what just happened.

Your eyes scanned the room around you. Mrs. Miya held her head in her hands as Osamu's face grew in irritation. Their father stood there with distraught painting his face. Your mom was still in the kitchen, but she still glanced with worry with her hand over her mouth.

Everyone in this house was shaken because of him.

Osamu stood from his seat to go after his brother but you decided to instead. Osamu shouldn’t have to worry about his brother when he's going through the same thing.

You ran up with stairs faster than you ever have to catch up to him.

“Atsumu!” you called from him as you followed him up the stairs. He ignored you as he reached the top of the stairs and walked towards his room's door.

“Atsum-” Your second attempt was deemed successful in getting his attention as he turned around and pushed you against the wall, caging you in his arms.

“What do you fuckin’ want, y/n?” His voice dripped with pure anger. He looks distraught. His eyes were red and glassy and his skin was turning an unnatural shade of red.

“Atsumu, I know you’re mad at him but just go downstairs and talk to him! Everyone’s upset. Just give him a chance.”

“What the fuck do you know about how I feel? Ya got a good mom, yer going to a good school in America and ya live in a big house, which is mine by the way. Yer miss perfect! So don’t you fucking dare tell me what to do. This isn’t your place to speak.” He yelled inches away from your face.

You parted your lips to say something but he left before you could. The slam of this door was deafening to your ears. You stood there, in front of his door in utter shock.

You knew he had a right to be angry, and in no way you were denying that right. But Osamu had every right as well, and he was sitting downstairs beside his father.

Why was it different for Atsumu? Why should he be allowed to create this mess and let everyone drown in his actions?

Why couldn’t he just try?

Atsumu’s words about you left a burden heavier than any weight that has been placed on your shoulders. If you could not speak about his family, why could he speak so thoughtlessly about yours?

Broken families came in all sorts of shapes and sizes; he out of all people should have known that the best.

[ the lovers taglist: @meepmoop12w @okkotsoo @quirklessidiots-trashdump @luna-mothii @unstaaableaf @lilith412426 @sunasbabie @thepsychicartist @gojoussunglasses @encrytpta @yamaguchis-17th-freckle @mavrintarou ]

unable to tag bolded blogs <\3

#miya atsumu angst #atsumu x y/n #miya atsumu x reader #hq atsumu #haikyuu angst #atsumu angst #atsumu x you #miya atsumu smut #atsumu series #atsumu x reader #haikyuu atsumu #atsumu #haikyuu #hq #haikyuu fanfiction #miya atsumu #the lovers.series #tw.family issues

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xiaotopia · 3 years

Text

Longing For You

Pairing: Fem reader x Aether

Words: 10k+ I lost count

Genre: one-shot, platonic relationship, fuff, angst, slight crack if you squint

Cw // mentions of character death, blood

Hi! It's my first time writing on here and I just write what's on my mind I'm sorry if this is bad since english is not my first language ㅠㅠ I promise I will get better with my writing! Enjoy ^^

Lonely.

That's what you are feeling. It's been 3 days you got stuck in this unknown land. You thought it was beautiful, it really was. But will you be ready to face what's in front of you?

You manage to survive with fruits like apples and cashews, at least that's what you thought the name was, because in your world they called it cashews. Even though it doesn't really give you enough nutritions, as long as you get to live you're okay with it. Heck there were almost nothing here. You wanted to explore the place more but there are monsters everywhere, and you- with no weapon, could only run and hide in hopes of not getting spotted by them. Will you ever survive?

Sighing, "just another day like this I guess"

you said before drifting to dreamland under a tree in a secluded area of the unknown land.

----

"She's still breathing"

"Paimon! What are you doing?!"

You could hear someone whispering- half screaming to be exact, at someone but you are more bothered at someone poking your arm with a stick. Groaning, you woke up and realized someone invaded your place. Ready to fight whoever that was, your actions suddenly come to a halt when you meet a pair of golden eyes and his tiny little companion. They were as shocked as you, well... I guess you are more shocked to see a floating kid beside the blonde boy.

Quickly, you hide behind a tree. Since you don't have any weapon to defend yourself what else can defend you other than a tree?

"w-who are you?! And why you can float?!"

you shrieked, the little floating kid crossed her arms and scoffed at your question. Why would she scoffed at you?

"excuse me young lady but we're the one who should ask you that!".

You just meet her now but god knows how much her high-pitched voice started to annoy you. The blonde boy beside her started to speak up before his companion could even say a word,

"I'm sorry she bothered you. I'm Aether, and this is my travel companion, Paimon. We found a group of hilichurls around here and we already fight them off before it could reach your campsite. May we know what is your name?" he asks as his pair golden orbs stares straight into you.

"Uh.. My name is y/n..."

He smiles, assuring you that they're safe and can be trusted, you slowly got out behind the tree when he stretches out his hand for a handshake. You grab his hand, reciprocating his action. "it's nice to meet you y/n".

----

"No"

"Aether c'mon please?"

"ugh fine"

It's been a month you had stayed in Monstadt, The Land of Freedom, and a month since your encounter with Aether and Paimon. She still annoys you though, but you're really grateful that she can keep the conversation going because it always turns awkward whenever you tried to initiate a conversation with people. You learned that Aether didn't come from this world too, separated from his sister by the unknown god and now is looking for her in Teyvat. Hopefully, you can go back home too.

You missed your family of course but you're also happy that there are people who willing to take care of you, especially Barbara. She treated you like her own sister, beside Jean. You learned everything here from Lisa and learned how to fight from the cavalry captain Knights of the Favonious, Kaeya. And Diluc? He's hot, but cold as ice at the same time and you went to the Tavern once, only to see him talking to a bard named Venti, about how the bard needs to stop drinking all of his dandelion wine before he runs out of it because of him.

Now, Aether is in front of you as you manage to persuade him to bring you to one of his adventures. He never let you tag along because he told you it's dangerous outside. Both of you are no vision holders, but he has the power of Anemo. It's still a mystery to you but he's an outlander so it would probably make sense why he can have such powers even without a vision blessed by the Archons.

"But! You only have to fight the hilichurls only while I take down those mitachurls, got it?" he says. Nodding your head aggressively, you started your journey with him as an adventurer.

"Let's go to Liyue!" Paimon says excitedly.

---

"That was close, thank you y/n"

Aether pants heavily, letting out a sigh of relief as you kick off the last hilichurl with your sword. Turning around to face him, you tell him it's nothing.

You three bumped into a hilichurl camp in the middle of the road of Bishui Plans. Unfortunately, those group of monsters noticed you before you three could even hide.

You were about to follow Paimon but Aether called you, you look at him as his face expressed shocked. You asked him what's wrong only him to point at your hips. You were confused so you look down where he's pointing at. Well now you're equally as shocked as him, if not because of the shining crystal blue orb hanging on your belt.

"What... I-I swear it wasn't there before?"

You whispered, questioning yourself because how did it get there? How did you even got a vision? What did you do? You know it's a vision because Lisa has taught you at the library back in Mondstadt. How? That was all in your mind.

You hear Paimon gasped, putting her hands on her mouth, "you got a vision! Let me see!". She flew to look at your vision before touching it to get a better look. "You got a cryo vision!" she exclaimed.

"Cryo? You mean I get the power of ice?" You question her. She nodded her, "Yes! Now you can help Aether to fight enemies!". Looking down at your feet, sighing. Aether asked you what's wrong and you simply said you don't know how to fight. Like actually fighting enemies with your own power, how to use it and how to handle it. What if you unintentionally hurt people around you? Aether chuckled at your response. You look up at him, tilting your head in confusion.

"Don't worry, I'll teach you"

----

"I wish kaeya was here"

"You don't like it when I teach you?!"

Chuckling at your friend, you said it's not that you don't like it when he teaches you. It's because "it would be easier if a cryo vision holder teaches me how to control the element", you says.

He let out a puff, while you were stroking Paimon's hair on your lap. She snores softly and you swear you could hear her mumbling sticky honey roast in her sleep. Giggling at her, you wonder how can she be cute and annoying at the same time. It's unfair you think. You turned your head to look at Aether and he was zoned out, as always.

"Mind telling me what's in your mind?"

You picked up his habits quite quickly, since you both attached to the hips all the time. You would notice he always does this when he's deep in thought. The same goes for him. You both can read each other like an open book.

He looks at you, smiling. Shaking his head and tells you he always thinks the same, about his sister. You smiled back at him, you assured him that you will meet her soon. And now, you both enjoy the calm breeze as you both watched the sun set over the blue horizon at the nearby cliff in Liyue.

"S-sticky honey roast... "

----

Annoyed.

That's how you feel right now.

This guy just keeps pestering you for 20 minutes now. You got separated with Aether as he got something to do with Zhongli, the Wangsheng Parlor Funeral Consultant. Aether wanted to let Paimon stay with you but you said you're fine on your own and you would enjoy alone time in the time being while waiting for them.

But you didn't expect this.

"Can you stop following me now?"

"Why would I?"

Rolling your eyes, you bump into his shoulder, or Childe as he call himself.

"Oh don't be like that girlie-" " I have a name shut up" you sigh for the nth time. You need to avoid this man, because he's one of the Fatui, you don't want to involve yourself and Aether with them. That's why you've been running and avoiding him at all cost.

"Well you never tell me your name girlie-"

"It's y/n okay? Now go you're getting on my nerve..."

you mumbled the last sentence. He only chuckles at your reaction as he enjoys it. You were buying some street food from the food stall and before you could give your mora to the seller, someone beats you to pay for the food. You were not complaining though, you didn't thank him either.

"Okay then but can I ask you one last question, y/n?" he smiles widely while you only look at him, chewing your spicy fish cake, unamused. His question however, almost send you to you death as you were choking on your food.

"W-what did you say?!" "I want to get to know about you"

Aether is not going to like this...

----

As expected, he was mad. No, he was furious.

"Why did you talk to him?!"

"I tried not to talk to him Aether, he kept following me when I tried to avoid him! To the point he creeps me out..."

Aether sighs, rubbing his forehead as Paimon watched you two arguing. Was this the only time Paimon shuts her mouth? Excluding the time she's asleep. She knows when to silent herself because this time, Aether is different in Paimon's eyes.

"So.. Did you agree?" he questioned, not giving you a glance. You shake your head, "No, of course I didn't. He's dangerous and he could hurt us if he has the opportunity..." Which is true. Childe is a harbinger, and you, just a mortal from another world who just got dumped to Teyvat out of nowhere.

Aether engulfs you in a hug, which surprised you. You could feel your cheeks burning from the physical contact. His arm wraps around your shoulder while the other strokes your hair, calming you.

"I won't let that happen to you, Paimon and me. I won't let him hurt us, I will promise you that I will protect you both from any danger. I don't want to lose another friend..." he says and the last sentence sounds more like a whisper to you but you understand him.

You also promised to yourself that you will protect paimon and him. Because you love them.

----

"Well traveller, you're quite stronger than I thought"

"Stay away from him!"

You yelled at the harbinger, keeping yourself from falling as you struggled to stand up. Paimon tried her best to keep Aether awake while you were guarding them, ready to attack him anytime.

Childe let out a loud laugh, as if he was mocking you and your companion. Shaking his head, he came closer to you.

"You know what, you're lucky that you didn't fall for my tricks" he chuckles. You were getting antsy everytime he take a step closer to you, "no one is fool enough to fall for a harbinger, Tartaglia" you sneered.

He was about to attack you with his hydro sword but you managed to dodged it with your power and turning it into an ice. You both fight for a while and fortunately, Aether came to help you.

After hours of fighting, that's what you think, you feel drained out. Slumping on the floor, you take a glance at Aether he was panting hard, Paimon at his side to support him. And Childe, he looks better than both you and Aether combined but he's still in a good shape.

As you were trying to stand up, you saw a glimpse of a woman at the corner of your eye. You widen your eyes and tried to push Aether away as you saw the woman was about to attack him with her sharp ice.

Signora.

You made a wall of ice to protect Aether and Paimon from her attacks. However, you didn't do it for you. You didn't protect yourself and got hit by the ice. The ice wall from you melts, so does Aether's world when he saw you, bleeding from your own element.

Childe was as shocked too, he thought you were a genuine person, he really do. Is this what it feels when you know someone personally got hurt? He can't imagine what Aether feels now.

You fell, you felt dizzy as you hit your head on the solid ground.

"Y/n!" Aether and Paimon yelled your name, but why do they sound like they're miles away?

"Y/n! Keep your eyes open! Don't you very dare to close your eyes!" Your friend screamed. Paimon is holding your hand while sobbing on you. "Y/n you can't leave us! Paimon still want to have fun with you!"

All you can do is cry. You don't want to leave them. You still haven't find your way back home, you can't. But you were losing so much blood and all you could do is remembering your moments with your friends.

Aether and Paimon.

Aether holds you on his lap, you could feel his tears falling on your cheek. He cups your cheek as he stares into your (e/c) orbs. To him, it resembles the stars on the night sky. He wish he could look at them like this before.

Not when you're dying.

He put his forehead on yours as he keeps repeating "please don't leave" to you. You promised him that you will protect him, but not stay with him. Did you regret it? Yes. You wish you could stay but you knew at the end, both of you will leave eventually.

But you didn't expect that you would leave them like this.

With all your might, you hover your hand over his that was on your cheek, rubbing it softly. "Promise me, we will meet someday, wether it be in our next life or in different universe, promise me we will meet again" you said, voice getting hoarse and staring to his golden eyes. You want to remember his eyes, his nose, his lips, his everything.

"Paimon doesn't want you to leave!" your little friend cried, you let out a loud sob as you pull her to your chest, soaking your bloody shirt with her tears. You three tried to cherish your last moment together, even though it was a tragic one, like now.

Aether tighten his hold on you, Paimon cries harder when she saw the colour of your vision starting to fade, knowing you couldn't make it.

"Paimon loves you, y/n", all you can do is cry, before your last breathe you hear Aether says "I promise you, we will meet again.. I love you"

Your vision faded, you fall into a deep sleep and everything turns dark.

----

"She's awake!"

"Call the doctor!"

You slowly opened your eyes, the bright light hurting your eyes, still adjusting to the surrounding. You could feel your tears were falling. Why did you cry? Then it hit you.

You were in the hospital.

You remember what happened, was that all just a dream? It feels real, way too real for your liking.

"Thank god, you're finally awake!" your mom sobs. Wait, your mom is here? You're finally back? You were supposed to be happy but why did you feel sad?

"H-how long did I... Sleep?" you asked, voice raspy as your throat lacks of hydration. Your mom gave you a glass of water and you gladly drink it, your throat still hurt.

"2 months now, you got hit by a car and the guy felt bad. He even insisted to pay for your bills", your mom says as she hold your hand. It's been a few minutes but you missed them. Aether and your little friend Paimon.

"Oh.." that's all you can say. You really don't know what to respond. You were happy that you're finally awake but you also missed people you met in Teyvat. Are they real or just your imagination?

"I forgot to tell you, the person who pays for your hospital bill will visit you. He always visits you when me and your dad is busy with work", you nodded your head, didn't have the energy to reply your mom back.

Suddenly, the door opens, revealing a tall man. You face him, only to widen your eyes as you were shocked to see the person in your dream.

"Childe?"

----

It's been a month since you got discharged from the hospital and been recovering well. You still struggle to walk on your own though, but nothing serious. Ever since you met childe, you both got along very well, not like the one in your dream.

"So... What I dreamed of during my coma was real?" You asked him, walking through the flowery path as the cherry blossom falls on the ground beside him arms clinging to his.

"Yeah. In fact, I'm still the same Childe in your dream!"

"Yeah as you wish. The only same thing is you keep paying things for me.. And being annoying"

You remarked. He only laughs and told you the reason why he keeps doing that is that it's the only kind action he could do, even now. But in reality, he felt guilty. He

"By the way, I want you to meet an old friend of mine. You won't mind right?"

"What's the point of asking me if you're going to introduce your friend to me now?"

"Geez woman, you're still the same"

you could only laugh at him. To you, he's a good friend but no one could replace Aether. If you met Childe, there's a possibility of you to meet Aether and Paimon right?

"Oi blondie! We're here!" Childe yelled, getting you out from your deep thoughts. You look up only to meet a pair of golden eyes that you've missed so much.

It feels like the time has stopped. He walked towards you and slowly, engulfed you in a hug. You were stunned, you meet him. You both found each other. You hugged him back, tightly. You let out tears of joy, he was relieved he found you that he also cried.

"You didn't forget me don't you?" You hear a feminine voice behind Aether, only to find Paimon crossing her arms, just like when you meet her for the first time. But what amazes you that she's in a different form. She looks... Like you. A woman.

Your eyes got teary again and went straight to her, giving her a big hug which she reciprocated. "I miss you so much Paimon" you burried your head into her neck. Paimon was happy she could meet her.

Childe and Aether could only look both of you with adoration. Aether cleared his throat, without looking at the man beside him, eyes still on you. "Thank you, if it wasn't for you, we wouldn't find her"

The red haired man could only smile, "it's no problem. I couldn't face anyone after what happened in Teyvat. Think of this as my way to apologize". Aether couldn't answer, he only nodded his head to let him know he's listening.

You went to him only get a hug from you. You missed him so much. And you noticed Aether doesn't have his long braided hair anymore, which saddens you because you always play and braid his hair.

"I noticed that you finally got rid of your annoyingly long hair", you teased him. You hear him chuckled as he tightened his grip around you. "Can't let the annoyingly long hair distract people sweetie. People found it weird here"

"But I like it though..." you blushed at the pet name he gave you. You both just couldn't let go of each other now. He strokes your hair, enjoying each others presence. "I'm so glad that I found you", "me too, I'm glad you're here".

The other two friend only watched you two reunited again, hugging each other and won't let each other go because you missed each other so much that you both are afraid one of you vanished anytime. But it's real.

"Childe can we get some sticky honey roast?"

"Good grief, paimon.."

#genshin impact x reader #genshin impact imagine #genshin impact #aether x reader #genshin imagines #childe #emergency food #this is my first time writing please be nice constructive criticism is allowed 😔#tw blood

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lifeisadoozy · 3 years

Text

sharing a short dousy video edit i made.

i don't know why but i really like this and thought i'd share it on here too.

should i rant about what goes in my head while making this video? no. will i? yes.

basically the song is beginning middle end by leah nobel from to all the boys i've loved before part 3. this song is basically about two people falling in love from the early years of their lives. since lara jean and peter met when they were kids. but then started (fake) dating in high school and their adventure together started right then and there. anyway, watch the movies if you haven't already. this song fits lara jean and peter so well (i don't know if it was written specifically for them or not).

but daisy and sousa didnt meet when they were kids because of one obvious reason: when daisy was a kid, sousa's dead; and when sousa was a kid, daisy hadn't been born yet. they weren't supposed to meet. so their journey started off separately.

daisy's beginning in shield was rocky, to say the least. but she found a home there with coulson, fitzsimmons and may (i'll get to ward) in season 1. they bonded quite quickly, mainly daisy skye and coulson. i think it shifts when she got shot by ian quinn. everyone in the team, especially ward was terrified and angry at the situation. now. she had a relationship with miles early on in the season, which was broken off. but within the context of the song, her beginning was ward. he was her s.o. she was falling for him when she uncovered that he's hydra. add that trauma to the ones she already had prior to shield. no wonder she has trust issues.

her middle was her powers. even though the story started early in the series, it's still the middle. because she struggled with her powers throughout seasons 2 - 5. the middle would always be the bulk of it all. it's where everything happens. it's the crux of a character, of a person. it's where daisy became daisy. now, in the middle of her middle (pun very much intended), was lincoln. the first inhuman who helped her and understood her. i'm sure they've got their own problems and everything, but it doesn't change the fact that he was someone who knew what she's going through. none of her found family could help her the way he could. this is where i think it gets interesting. seasons 2 - 5, where i said was her middle, and basically the peak/climax of daisy as a character, she was falling for and fell for lincoln. it was known that daisy was still in love with lincoln in season 5. possibly around 2 years after he died. but then we found out that she had moved on from lincoln in the beginning of season 6.

season 6 and 7 is the end of her journey with the team. they're still a family. just a family who occassionally see each other. now in season 6, like i mentioned previously, it was acknowledged that daisy had moved on. the past will always be with her, no doubt. the trauma would stick. hopefully just bits and pieces. but it would still be there until she either had alzheimer's, dementia, any other retrograde amnesia injuries or diseases, or the day she died. she would never forget lincoln or ward, heck even miles. she won't forget her past. unless it was taken away from her. so, back to the topic at hand, she wanted her own fitz. she had grown from the woman she was in the beginning, she had grown from the woman and superhero that she was in the middle. she knows who she is now. with the people she worked with. and the people she calls her family. and also with anyone. daisy's ending was perfect (to me at least). she wasn't looking for love right then and there. she was burnt one too many times. but she wanted that kind of love and support. the love and support that fitz and simmons have for each other. something that daisy lacked all her life. she ended up with someone who gave her what she wanted. and what she needed.

with sousa, it's a little different. because we didn't get to see much of his background and family life. we didn't get to know what his life was like during the war and before the war. we begin to see him in the ssr. we all knew, literally everyone knew, even the characters knew that sousa's practically in love with peggy. except for maybe peggy herself. but i'm sure she had an inkling. she definitely had an inkling. but then things go on and he became chief of the west coast office and he was in los angeles while peggy was in new york. he moved on (or so we thought). he started dating violet and was ready to marry her. he told her he loved her. and he did. it's just that he was also in love with peggy. still. and violet saw that. it's as clear as day. and they broke it off.

we didn't get to see much of sousa's middle. mainly because ac wasn't renewed for a third season. which was such a waste because it ended with so many things left unanswered. but we know that between 1947 - 1955, peggy and sousa broke up. we have no idea why. we don't know if steve was back. nada. all we know is that they broke up. when did they break up? again. no idea. but we know that peggy means a lot to sousa. she's like (sorta; i don't like making comparisons but anyway) sousa's lincoln in a way (i'm not saying that they're the exact replica. daisy/lincoln and peggy/sousa are quite different. but they do have similarities. those pairings are the kind where they want to be together forever but knew that it wouldn't work; my interpretation). she didn't die, we know that. but she's sort of the one that got away. my guess is that it's because shield and the world was more important than each other. which wasn't dissimilar to daisy and lincoln's situation. so, yes. peggy's sousa's middle. she influenced him a lot. and he found himself amidst ssr and shield (just like daisy did).

sousa's end was again, perfect. he went to the future. got to see what the organisation he helped build came to be. he went on an adventure to explore space. which he would geek out over. instead of dying, he got to live. with the love of his (new) life. he may be a man out of time, but with daisy and their ragtag family, he is right where he belongs.

daisy and sousa began with "who the hell are you" and ended with "it's beautiful" (just putting this here because i love that fact).

so. they started pretty quickly, didn't they? 4 episodes in and sousa fell in love with daisy. 7 episodes in and daisy fell in love with sousa. though i doubt that they thought they're in love. but they're falling. or walking towards it. 7x03 was when they met. it's where it all began. in area 51 of all places (foreshadow much?). but what's even more interesting is that technically, they began twice. from daisy's perspective, they met in 6x13 (which plenty of people had pointed out; but @agents-of-fangirling was the most recent). even though they didn't actually meet because sousa was wearing that blue (seriously his colour really is blue) hazmat suit and daisy was disoriented (may dying and all that jazz). but from sousa's perspective, they met in 7x03. where they actually made eye contact and conversed. how many couples can say that the when of their first encounter was debatable?

now. their middle, in the video edit, i used the scene from 7x10. because i think that's a pretty good middle. they had their first first kiss. sousa had no idea that happened. yet, there he was, wanting to help. just like his time-loop self. he extended a hand and she accepted. she accepted help. do you know how much of a development that was??? because i think that it's a huge character development (i still haven't rewatched so don't take my word for it). i think that's a good depiction of their middle. oh yeah. before i forgot. they also had two first kisses. and again, i say, how many couples can say that they had two first kiss? figured i'd choose the scene in the middle of those first kisses (pun intended lmao).

sidenote: did y'all see the devastation in her eyes when sousa volunteered to stay in the 80s? or how her eyes went wide and she started to panic when he was injected in the time loops? sousa's a man of action. and when he says something, he means it. so, his constant concern over daisy and him wanting to help in any way he can, it's his love language.

and then we have their ending. the perfect end to an imperfect couple (because nobody's perfect *cue hannah montana*). daisy got sousa a typewriter. because he's from the 50s. since when did daisy buy gifts for her boyfriends/partners/lovers? and they watched e.t. together? that's normal couple things. even though they are far from normal. but they get to experience it all together. daisy didn't get to in the past. none that we know of anyway. and now she does. also, that smile when she talks about him. that fond smile that grazed her lips at the thought of him. i've never seen her smile like that before (none that i remember; and if she did, well then i'm so so happy for her). she looks happy. serene. and her saying "he's a dork" twice in the season just makes my heart burst with happiness for them.

sidenote: my headcannon is that "he's a dork" is code for "i love him too much to explain it in words."

i'd like to believe that even though it has ended, their story has just begun. they're going through their middle right now. and i hope that they won't end. in other words, their end was not an ending. it was a beginning of a new life.

as daisy said, "we're loving the journey together." keyword: journey. it's a long road up ahead. with countless of challenges and obstacles in the way. but in the end, all that matters is that they face it together.

that's it. thanks for coming to my ted talk (for those who actually read it all the way through, i love you).

#watch the video til the very end😉#dousy #i know nobody's gonna read this #but i needed to hash it out #😬😬#character analysis #sort of #relationship analysis #🥺👉👈#sorry for the long ass post #like seriously long #i set out to write a quick lil paragraph and ended up writing an essay

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sworntolight-a · 5 years

Note

And because I can't stop, won't stop - 'Value Me' from Yusaku at Mako just because I can

~~~Drabble Call!

~~Value Me: Mako’s anxiety on fire a drabble about my character telling yours how they feel about them.

Mako wasn't sure which was worse: Being watched by Yusaku, or being completely ignored. On one hand, having the others emerald gaze following her was uncomfortable; he barely ever said a word to anyone aside from Kusanagi and Takeru, and the feeling of being judged without a chance to defend her actions... But then she'd also barely ever said two words to him herself, either. 'Good morning, Fujiki-san' and 'would you like a coffee refill' never really went far for conversation.

On the other, being ignored by him was just as odd. He was Takeru's friend, and if something went wrong... Would it put Takeru in the middle? If he didn't care for her being around, would it mean Takeru would be the one to suffer? If he was already ignoring her, maybe...

“You'll be fine.”

Takeru's reassurance echoed in her head as her fingers curled around the hem of her uniform skirt. Maybe she'd be fine if he was there, but with him off talking to Kusanagi and the caramel-haired girl left alone with Yusaku... She could feel the worries coursing through her, the desire to go find a book and stick her nose into it like he hadn't just looked up to find her glancing at him; would any of them notice if she just slipped away?

Taking note of emerald flickering her way, Mako sunk down in her seat. That was rude, a part of her wanted to say; she was there to 'meet' him – formally, at least, and with a mediator she wished she'd had online when she'd met Playmaker – and he couldn't even bring himself to look away from his tablet for five minutes? Yusaku rarely said much to anyone but their mutual friends, sure, but when he'd been told why she'd come along on a day she wasn't working-

“I'm sorry,” she blurted instead, earning another glance from him. “Takeru must've dropped this on you out of the blue – I'm so sorry. I never thought he meant tonight when he suggested coming to meet you... A-Ah... I mean... Formally, that is-”

“It's fine.”

No it wasn't! All she wanted to do was go home and crawl under her bed until the day was over, couldn't he see that? ...He couldn't, Mako reminded herself. Takeru could read her like an open book, Yusaku simply saw her working at Cafe Nagi and left her to her business, and until now, she'd both been thankful and nervous about that.

Now she was just nervous, letting out a slow exhale. If she couldn't escape and was expected to talk to him, then... Maybe she should just... Was it too dirty under the table to hide? The wrong thing could put a complete sweetheart in the middle and-

Bingo.

“Takeru tells me a lot about you,” Mako tried again, tone as shaky as the fingers tangled in her skirt, but gentle. This was harder to do with his attention shifting to her, but maybe she could get it out before her sanity exploded and she crawled underneath the dashboard of the truck? “We... He spends the night at my apartment, sometimes. We'll talk about his day... You come up a lot.”

“...I see.”

Still two word replies, but fine by her. She wasn't sure she could handle anything more than that at the moment, anyway. “I'm... Glad he has friends here. The way he talks about his day now, it's... It's nothing like he used to.” She wouldn't go into detail; his life before the city had been one they rarely spoke of unless it involved Kiku, and it wasn't her place to talk about it with Yusaku.

“Thank you. For...” Being his friend sounded too on the nose, and welcoming him to the city was too out there when he barely gave anyone else the time of day... “Helping him smile.”

“He could smile on his own.”

“This is different. I've known him a long time, and I rarely saw him smile before... Just- ...Thank you. Not just for that, either- for... For a lot of things.”

His confused look was one she'd earned, and didn't care to explain more to ease for him. He'd been a wonderful friend for Takeru, but she was finding the more she spoke, the more she was used to having him around, herself; always at the truck and a frequently spotted face at school, he was a constant in her own life she'd come to appreciate. She never had to look far from their usual hangouts to find him, and whether or not she wanted to admit it, seeing the quiet teen had become a bit of a grounding force for her.

When he didn't question it, she pushed her chair back, slowly rising to her feet. She needed a drink – her nerves had run her throat dry, and ducking into the truck for a few minutes would hopefully ease her anxiety enough to continue the meeting – and he didn't have one, so why not take the chance to hide? “That's... Also for being here. In my life, too.” And with the addition spoken, Mako fled for the back of the familiar yellow vehicle, steps quick despite not running.

There was no way she could face him again. Not after saying that, not when she couldn't explain herself, not when- Couldn't she just live in the back of the truck? It'd be less painful than him questioning Takeru and having to tell her best friend she was foolish and silly and- Deep breaths. Maybe if she got some coffee, she could calm down. ...Maybe.

No way.

#Soulburnings #Linksensed #Mun's Drabbles #Whispered Questions [Asks]#IN WHICH Mako wants to go hide under a boulder #Be proud of her for not fleeing a lot earlier Takeru #She wanted to-#She managed to hold out for most of it tho <3 #Now she's gonna go die in the back of the truck #Just dump her off outside her apartment building she's good-

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