#which is..... why i havnt done it yet

[oakskull]

big shout outs to @notthebestatart for drawing Scott's hair and making me go "OHHHHH" so have some Scott's (and a bonus tango inspired by a comment from @voidindite)

#tango is laying down btw #scott smajor #empires #double life smp #empires smp #tango tek #anyway the tango thing is bc void said something about my tango having long hair and i was like i dont think ive ever drawn him with his #hair down so i did he like just woke up and hasnt brushed his hair yet #also i was gonna do my empires 2 design for scott but i havnt finished it so i jsut did his skin #<- also i forgot which eye is from the skull #also also (unrelated) the owl was done with no references i just wanted it to look owl ish thats why the snowy owl has a barn owl face LMAO #these are just doodles im too lazy for reference rn

[luckytwice13]

2/5/23. It's been a year.

I just wanted you to know that I'm doing okay.

If you were wondering, I still think about you almost every. single. day.

I'm still bitter.

But I still love you.

My buisness is up and growing. It's not moving at a steady pace yet, but I'm praying it will get there.

Praying.

I've grown in my faith. I love God more than anything I've ever loved on this planet.

More than my parents.

More than Sam.

More than you.

I still constantly am thinking of ways to make others happy.

But I've matured. Almost stained with better intentions now.

I notice more quickly my boundaries. I'm still learning to state them though.

I'm thinking about kids. Hard. But Sam says he isn't ready. It really sucks. It's my biggest problem in my personal life right now.

That, and mom and dad divorced.

I'm not taking it well.

It feels like my whole world... childhood, teenage years, adulthood, and future is shattered.

I'd wish the feeling on no one. Not even my greatest enemy.

Michelle's been trying for a whole year. She can't seem to get pregnant...

I'm really worried about her and have been praying for her.

Could you pray for her too?

I know that you know what it's like from your sister...

I wonder all the time how you would comfort me in these situations. You always knew really good things to say that I needed to hear.

I hope you are doing okay.

I really do.

I hope your parents are healed, they are on my mind alot.

Any time a blue van passes I think of them..

I've passed you on the road quite a few times.

I always wonder if you knew it was me or not. I wonder what face I was making, or weather or not I'm mad at you that day.

Selfishly, I've been hoping you'd move.

I keep telling myself that "that's my final tie with you"

But I know that's a lie.

I'll always remember you. I'll tell my kids about you.

About the good parts I mean...

I've gotten 2 more dogs! 2 huskies. My little family consists of Sam, Mr.tee, Midnight, Tiberius, Sprite, and Ghost now. We love our family so much. We are constantly talking about them. All 5 of them.

Do you still have the dog that your... I think now separated boyfriend gave you?

I suspect you started a new Instagram or something. You havnt posted a thing.

I hope you like your new position at the bank. I know they put off actually moving you for a long time.

Honestly.... I really want you to move. I'm done thinking about you so much.

It hurts.

And it makes me so mad.

On some days I can look at the positives, but most days I just feel angry about it all.

I'm sure we are both thinking why did this happen.

But the fact that you didn't try solidified my actions.

Anyways... before I spiral down that path. I just needed to talk. That's all. I still havnt made a really good friend since we went separate ways.

Mimi wants really badly to be best friends, but that's the problem. She's trying too hard and it pushes me away. There is like this unneeded pressure to be friends with her. Even Robbie asks me, "are you going to keep coming over?" It's really awkward. I don't like it. We are both pretty similar but not too similar, you know? But I've been thinking on that, and we have opposing views on really important topics. Which I definitely respect and listen to her views, but she makes me feel like my opinions are wrong and dumb and she's even gotten a little loud with me about a few things. Idk. I don't think I like the way she treats me. But when we are good, we laugh really hard and have a good time. She just changed jobs, so maybe that will help. Even then, she told me "I'm going to call you every single day"..... I asked her not to do that and she seemed a little upset. I told her, "jess and I didn't even do that..." idk. I guess we will see. You have to teach people how to treat you, problem is, I struggle speaking up. It isn't that hard to be friends with someone, I don't know why it feels like anyone I try to be friends with, like it's so difficult. There is always something wrong with them.

Who knows. Maybe it's actually me.

Maybe it's me...

Mom acts really weird now.

Dad doesn't talk to me much anymore.

I think I'm still hurting too much to talk about the details of it though...

Honestly, I feel like I've lost everyone. I HAVE lost everyone.

Everyone but Sam.

And what a lovely man he is. We have had very few disagreements, and the ones we have had have been talked through like adults. He really listens to me and how im feeling. I love him so much and cant wait to marry him.

I'm so so so worried about putting too much weight on him. But deep down I'm struggling with all of the loss.

I have to completely reroute my whole inner system after loosing you and feeling like I've lost my parents.

Yall were all I had.

You guys were my rock.

I made you all my core.

Now I'm confused and lost.

I guess I'm figuring out who I am finally, without all the noise.

So, I guess I'll get there. But my heart physically still hurts when I think of it.

So I shove it down. I keep myself busy with cleaning and my business, and sam, and the dogs, and I just think it'll go away.

It does go away for a little.

And then I have moments like today, when I just miss you.

Jess, you were just a call away. I could just call you and you'd come by and sit on the couch with me. We could just be, together. Nothing forced, it was so natural.

I mourn over your dead body and all of our memories.

The playground. The skate park. Launching my ipod onto the Sams club floor and it shattering, your mom calling us queer. Us going onto omegle, or playing the SpongeBob game bc you loved it so much. Us day dreaming about raising our children together or living next door to one another. Us sneaking out of school to smoke cigarettes. The "quotes" section in every ipod/phone i had for years. The first time you smoked weed "did she say we could do it?". Meeting up with you on Jackson Shop. Laughing so hard id piss myself and you would give me your jacket so i wouldnt be bullied in school. Matching tattoos. Working at the same jobs. Matching our school schedules so we would never be apart. Starting a YouTube channel. Choosing our favorite jonas brother, calling their hotline. Late night phone calls even though we spent all day at school together and always sat next to each other on the bus. Sneaking over to your house, you sneaking over to mine. I could not get enough of you.

I miss you so fucking much. You were my soul sister. I hate that you changed.

I HATE THAT YOU CHANGED.

I'm so mad about you.

And its been a year.

It's been a whole fucking year.

I cant wait for the day that I notice my phone hasn't shown me any of my memories with you.

I want to move on.

I dont ever want to hurt like this again.

I never want to be friends with you again.

I cant ever do this again.

[blackmagistertd]

what are... arm socks and what are they for?

ahhh ok so!! armsocks are like long sleeved crop tops with gloves, basically. they’re made out of tights so they have to be hand-sewn. i’m looking at these for now since i can’t sew LOL

mostly they’re used for cosplay tho! :0c i mean i suppose there are other uses for them but i’m not sure what that would be LMAO

but i want ‘em for my nepeta cosplay bcuz i’m tired of painting my hands & arms gray every dragoncon :o

#sorry this is late!! i was playing sims LOL #but apparently armsocks aren't as common as i thought?? #bcuz only 1 person i've talked to ever knew what they were when i mentioned them #even irl #theyre hella expensive tho and i keep having to rejustify buying them lmao #which is..... why i havnt done it yet #but theyre really worth the investment if theyre high quality #anyway ! yeah #i got sidetracked but its cool #nontwd #personal #javiernegangarcia #ash answers asks #ash speaks

[dapper-nahrwhale]

:/ uuuuuuuuh accidentally got some really Sad spoilers for naddpod and yeah..... :(

#been avoiding naddpod stuff so as not to get spoiled and uuh yeah :/ pintrest why you do me dirty luke that???? #🐝.buzz #like im gonna finish the show but dang is that just real sad havnt the pcs gone thru enough yet??? #IM ONLY ON EP 24 AND I ALREADY FOUND OUT WHICH NPCS ACCIDENTALLY DIE AND AAAAAAAAAAA I ALREADY GOT ATTACHED TO THEM NOOOOO :( #I DONT WANT TO KNOW THAT THEY DIE LATER IM ONLY ON EARLY EP :((((( #aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa hurts #i refuse to read or look at any fan stuff until im done with the show i cannit get spoiled anymore no more #:/ one good thibg abt the lack of i fo on tv trooes is that i wasnt spoiled in that like i was with many other shows so #still it just sucks i only want haooy good things for these guys but nooe :'l #naddpod

[kittydeany77]

Alone Again

Dean Winchester x Y/N

A/N: implies rape, non consensual sex, and has swearing. If any of this makes you uncomfortable, please proceed with caution. Also this chapter features some lyrics from one of my favorite songs, No Rest For the Wicked by Lykke Li.

Chapter 13

Consciousness came to you. Your senses told you about the soft bed under neath, dim lights in the room, and the smell of vanilla wafting around. What kind of place were you in? Slowly your limbs started to move but didnt make it far due to restraints on both arms and legs. Once your eyes adjusted to the dim light, you looked around the room and saw your restraints attached to bed posts and no other furniture in sight. It was a simple metal bed with a firm mattress and soft blanket on it. Your body wore a simple sheer dress and nothing underneath it.

Oh great, you thought. A pervert.

Suddenly the only door in the room opened and you saw the same man from the woods. He stood cocky, with his brown poofy hair bouncing along with his strides.

“Youre awake, thats wonderful news. I apologize for the rude and alone awakening. I was busy with some other matters but now my focus can be on my favorite pleasure.” His voice moved smoothly with a hint of vileness.

“Stay away from me, you’re going to be sorry you ever laid a hand on me.” He laughed at your come back, probably from hearing your voice crack and the shakiness to your breathing.

“Oh forgive me, I havnt introduced myself yet. My town call me the Governor. And you will be my lady.” He made his way towards you as he undid his belt and you started to cry. Knowing there was nothing to be done and no amount of screaming will save you. Unless they threatened to kill you, in which case, would possibly be best to die right now.

As he, this so called Governor, went to perch above you, the only sound coming from you was a light whisper, “dean…” and your eyes closed as you didn’t want to watch the horrid evil happening to you.

…

Dean’s POV

“Where are our people?!”

“They were taken by a man. Back to his town. To see the Governor.”

“The Governor? What kind of hell…?” Rick rubbed his hand down his face as he thought of his next move. Daryl wanted answers about his brother, Merle, who supposedly took Glenn and Maggie back to this man, the Governor.

“Did you see another woman out there? Brown hair and a large pack with her?” Your face wavered with uncertainty about wanting to know the answer.

“…no, I’m sorry. But if she came across anyone from Woodbury, she would be there too. They dont kill women, at least i wouldnt suspect. Run by a lot of men there.” The woman, Michonne, was barely willing to give us this information. Understandably, but also why bring a basket of baby formula and inform us about Glenn and Maggie, then be so cold towards us.

Rick knelt down in front of her, hoping to get more information from her, and when she didnt answer him he put pressure down on her leg wound.

“Keep your hands off me!” Michonne jumped up and steadied herself against the cell on one leg. We put her in the single holding cell in the commons area. She wasnt locked in it right now but Rick seemed inclined to do so.

“You need to get in here.” Carol spoke from the sleeping cells and everyone went to see what was goung on, except you.

“I can sit with her. Maybe she can tell me how to get to this place, Woodbury, and more about the town.” You made sure your gun was loaded and ready but you had a feeling you wouldn’t need it. Rick insisted on Michonne being locked up and you didn’t feel like arguing today. You needed answers if you were going to go searching for Y/N as quickly as possible.

“Is the woman you’re asking about, important to you?” Michonne was leaning her head back against the wall but eyed you as she spoke. She’s probably good at reading people, like you are.

“She…” your jaw clenched and unclenched as you thought of Y/N. The thought of her being out there alone and taking off with no goodbye… it was messing with you. “I need to find her. She’s important to me. To the group. I can’t do this without her. Are you certain you didn’t see her? Trust me, you’d remember her. She holds herself well and shes gorgeous, no matter the state she’s in.” Your head hung low as you played mindlessly with your gun, tears pricking at your eyes.

“I’m sorry, i didnt see her out there. If your groupd is planning to go into Woodbury, i am going with you. And i promise to help you find her.” Her voice was calm and reassuring.

Slowly your head rose up to look her in the eyes and for a moment you felt no tension in the air and saw the trust in her face. “Thank you, I will talk with Rick and the group. Let’s get you properly patched up too.”

…

Y/Ns POV

Everything was blurry and you had no energy. They weren’t feeding you and barely gave you any water. Honestly you didn’t know if it had only been a few hours or a few days in this room. They wouldn’t even let you properly do your bathroom business and the bed was soiled at this point.

The door opened again and panic set in. You couldn’t give in mentally… there’s no way in hell you’d give this man that satisfaction. Even bound and tied, you fought him and screamed with tears streaking your face. Eventually your body became so tured youd black out and wake up alone later on. Your body and clothes were becoming dirty and gross, no one caring about coming in to clean you up.

At one point you’d heard a gunshot or two outside the room but it was so faint that you thought you’d made it up. Maybe you were finally reaching a crazy point. Full of hallucinations and hearing sounds.

“I’m so sorry… Dean… I’m sorry and I love you.” A whisper into the room is all you heard and you weren’t even sure if you had said it or dreamt it.

As the time went on, this same man would come and go as he pleased, never minding if you were awake or not. Once you woke up to him already there, doing as he wanted, no care if you were conscious.

No amount of screaming, fighting, refusing, spitting at him would matter. He would just hit you or tie you tighter. Your body was becoming thinner and bruises scattered it. You wondered when your body or mind would eventually break and one day you wouldn’t even wake up. The food and water they brought once or twice was enough to keep someone alive but not survive.

How could you have possibly gotten to this point? One minute you were with your group, securing a place to live, the next you were so angry and feeling left out that it lead you here… maybe it’s true what they say… about grass being greener and all that. The only grass you wanted right now was at that prison, laying down hand in hand with Dean and staring at the stars.

This thought kept you going for a moment. You closed your eyes and pictured a scattering of twinkling stars on a giant night sky canvas. Dean was laying next to you and telling you a story he heard from his dad long ago. Soon you found yourself hearing someone singing…

‘My one heart hurt another

So only one life can't be enough

Can you give me just another

For that one who got away

Lonely I, I'm so alone now

There'll be no rest for the wicked

There's no song for the choir

There's no hope for the weary

If you let them win without a fight’

Soon you drifted off… lightly singing to yourself and tears eventually stopping, due to masive dehydration.

…

Deans POV

“Daryl! What the hell man?” You questioned him as he arrived back to the prison.

“Hes gone…”

“Merle? Man, what happened out there? You should’ve told me what was going on and I would’ve helped you man.” Your arm reached out to rest on his shoukder as you looked at him. Rick approached behind you so to see what’s going on.

“Hes my brother. I had to go after him. I was too late though. Hes gone… what am i gonna do…” Daryl was a man of few words and fewer emotions, so to see him cry was a new event.

“Daryl, you have us. We are your family. We got Carol back, my baby girl is alive and safe, you are back with us, and we need you, brother. Family. We stick together and help each other get back up.” Rick was a man good with words.

“Dean, we need to take down this governor. You saw him at that meeting… he’s not trustworthy.”

“Look man, i can go in there guns blazing if you want, just tell me what to do and where to be. I believe Michonne to this day, he has Y/N.”

“We looked, but we also didn’t have time to look everywhere. It’s possible she’s there and we will bring her back.”

“That son of a bitch better not have laid a hand on her. He’s going to be out through hell for it.”

“Luckily Michonne did a number on his eye already. So he’s lacking in the field of vision.” Daryl chuckled as he spoke and it lightened the mood a bit.

“Alright men, we got some work to do.” You nodded at the two men and started off towards the prison, where you’d come up with a plan to save your new home and take down the governor.

#dean winchester x y/n #dean winchester slowburn #dean winchester smut #dean winchester fic #dean winchester supernatural #deanwinchtser #dean x you #dean x reader #dean winchester #supernaturalislife #supernatural fanfiction #twd fanfiction #crossover #multifandom

[admiralmoon]

Okay so I've been thinking about the whole Wilbur resurrection and his words DO NOT add up at all.

And I'm not being in "denial" here, this isnt really about crimeboys, rather its genuinely something off about the whole situation that isnt consistant at all to what we previously know. Now I'm NOT saying the reverse psychology theory is real here, you can come to your own conclusions here but the whole situation is genuinely inconsistent.

1) Wilbur didn't know anything about what happened in the living world.

This is an odd case because you would think Tommy of all people would actually hold Wilbur accountable during the months that he was with him. You're telling me that he NEVER mentioned the second destruction of his nation? You're telling me that Wilbur didnt even ASK? Things like Exile is understandable, but there are so many other things that have happened that Tommy could have easily mentioned to Wilbur. Yet he doesnt.

It actually doesnt make sense at all because Tommy is the type who would mention these things, even if they were tense in the afterlife HE WOULD STILL accuse Wilbur of the things he clearly did in the living world that screwed them over. HE WOULD MENTION what his actions caused for other people and himself, Tommy isnt a character to hide that.

He has always been one to blame others and hold them accountable for problems and mistakes they clearly made. He's done that with many other characters before, Wilbur is NOT an exception here.

So you're telling me Wilbur didnt ask about what he missed ONCE and Tommy didnt mention anything at all? They were together for MONTHS what else would they even talk about?

2) Wilbur mentions being alone until Tommy arrives in the afterlife, before eventually leaving.

But this just isnt true? There are multiple instances AND Povs where Schlatt and MD were clearly present within Wilbur's headspace in the afterlife. And there are instances of him actually speaking to them too.

The first encounter we had with voidbur during the disc war he mentions Schlatt and how he's "Sick of that guy" and wanted to get away from him (tone wise it was just general annoyance, not malice)

In Tommy's brief look into the afterlife Schlatt and MD come into conversation. Wilbur clearly tries to call one of them over until Tommy refused the company. If Wilbur was able to easily call the others over, then why is he saying he was alone with no one but his own mind to talk to?

(You could say that Wilbur only likes talking to/ confiding in tommy but that is am assumption rather than an arguement. In this case everyone is treated equally here)

And Schlatt has clearly spoken to both Wilbur and Tommy too, with Tommy mentioning how Schlatt told them to "keep time." That fact in itself PROVES that the other afterlife residents were able to communicate with each other.

(You can mention how Schlatt was asleep for months but that doesnt mean MD wasnt there, it also doesnt mean Schlatt was asleep FOREVER)

And then we can finally mention Quackity's stream where Schatt or "Glatt" makes an appearance. And Schlatt mentions how he would come down from the afterlife to hangout, already showcasing more awareness and knowledge of himself then Ghostbur has shown (Ghostbur seems like a special case here). Already from that, it isnt inherently wrong to say that a lot of Glatt's knowledge about the afterlife is reliable and accurate to what it actually is.

So if we were to actually take his word for it, then he clearly shows companionship to Wilbur and Tommy in the afterlife. He mentions them coming down to hang out, he implies how Tommy would follow Wilbur around, he mentions Tommy's general uncomfortableness about being dead to begin with. All of these things somewhat contradict Wilbur's words of being "alone" if he is able to recall these encounters.

3) The first appearance of voidbur hes fairly friendly with Tommy and Tubbo

Now you can argue that things change during that passage of time seeing as each introduction of voidbur are years apart. And I wont argue with you if that's your reasoning against this claim because it does make sense.

Personally, I think the passage of time situation is complicated in general.

But I feel like a lot of people forget that the disc war encounter is STILL voidbur. And cutting to the chase here, his overall personality and vibe towards Tommy and Tubbo was actually very friendly and understanding.

He sensed Tommy's uncomfortableness and tried to calm him down and cheer him up by cracking jokes. He even says that its okay for him to feel uncomfortable because the whole situation in itself is odd.

I dont know about you but that IS NOT the Wilbur we saw revived. Whether time changed him (I honestly don't know what would make him different) or to put it bluntly, revived Wilbur is playing us for fools right now.

I think this last point can be held with a grain of salt tho because it is possible that the first voidbur encounter can be taken as improv. Or from the CC's perspective, they havnt finalized who voidbur actually was yet and instead they just rolled with what they had which is why he may have seemed nicer here.

This is generally what I have noticed that stuck to me. I still think there are a lot of the points that were made about Wilbur with the reverse psych theory that still stands. Not saying the theory itself is true, but the evidence that was used is still very solid in some cases. There are a lot of general inconsistencies here that I feel like are too integral and noticable to be a slip up or a mistake.

Say what you will, but its still suspicious nonetheless.

#dream smp #dsmp wilbur #dsmp theory #dsmpmeta

[obsessive-ego]

Comfort

Beetlejuice x sad reader

100% self indulgent cuz boy I need it,

...

For the last little while you've felt an awful exhaustion both mentally and physically, you couldnt explain why so it felt wrong to rest,

You hid your feelings from others acting as though nothing has changed, you were always good at that type of thing, even fooling the demon who decided to crash at you place.

Coming home from work, beetlejuice greets you like always, he has gotten quite accustomed to playing with your game systems when he wasnt messing with your neighbors, you nod, and went to your room to change into some lazy clothes like always.

You didnt mean to take as long as you did, you were just so tired of everything, but you couldnt place it, laying on the floor wearing an over sized hoodie and the pantyhose you havnt taken off yet, you just stare at the ceiling, at one point you cover your face with your arms.

It felt like an eternity staying like that, you didnt hear beetlejuice knock, let alone come in.

When you removed your arms from your face you see the demon out of your peripheral vision, turning your head to get a better view, he too was staring at the ceiling, you frown seeing the purple streaks mixed with the green of his hair.

"What are you doing?" You mumble

"Could be asking you the same thing sweets" he responds still staring up.

You huff "it's nothing-"

"You've been doing this for an hour"

Sitting up, You frown, you didnt think you were laying there for so long, just listening to the radio static of your thoughts.

"Ya know, for a breather you're pretty tough" beetlejuice props him self up a bit finally looking at you "after all the shit I use to scare ya, and all the nonsense i put ya through, you're still standing" he chuckles

It was true, before you two were pals he really put you through some scary shit, but you always held your nerve and got back up for more.

"I dont know what's got you so burnt out, but whatever it is, I've probably done worse to ya, so you better not pussy out on it" he says while poking you in the nose

Tears you were holding back finally started to spill, beetlejuice jumps back, afraid he was the cause, you smile, and wipe your face on your sleeves

"Thanks" you mumble, embarrassed to be seen in such a state

Beetlejuice pulls you up off the floor, and into a hug, which you can both agree was a tad awkward.

"Alright sugar, how about we order a pizza, my treat"

"And by 'my treat' do you mean scaring the piss outta the delivery guy so he leaves without payment?"

Beetlejuice laughs "aw doll you know me too well~"

#rambling #beetlejuice x reader #muscial beetlejuice x reader

[randomsevans]

The Lawyers Lies

Part 2

AN : in this story peggy and sharon are not related

Two days had passed since that night and you had told Nat everything form your pregnancy, relationship with Steve the affair against Sharon's back to seeing him with peggy at the bar knowing you wasnt his alone side women as well as your feeling for him and the 3 months plan your were doing . She was comfating at first and then got mad as you knew she would but she promised not to say anything not even to Bucky . And more importantly promised not to hurt steve but you could of sworn she had her fingers crossed behind her back .

You had a day off yesterday so there was no need to come in the office. So you were dreading today . To meet his blue eyes . You no you should not feel like this . Like you had been cheated on because you had beening doing the cheating. But for some reason you could live with him being with Sharon as he met her first. But not being one of three or possible even more women in this mans life you felt cheap and used . Yet the feeling you had for him still remained.

You had been a work for a while now distancing your self from everyone to avoid him . Which have done a very good job at so far . That was until you needed a tea break and went into the lunch room to see Steve laughing and smiling with Peggy . You felt his gaze quickly turn to you but then straight back to peggy .

You just filled the kettle and place it on . Acting as if your inside went buring from sadness , rage , jealousy. You went to reach for a mug at the top shelf only for your high to fall short. You were about to go on to your tip toe when the mug made it's way into the front of you , as Steve past your the mug and placed a hand on the small of your back "I missed you yesterday " he whispered as your fought back the tears knowing it was a lie . You hummed in agreement as you reached for a tea bag .

You felt Steve leave your side and hear the door shut , you sighed in relief and turn around to see an empty room . Only to see Steve was still here . You inhaled in annoyance and turned back around to make your tea . And for a tug at your arm to face him again .

"What !" You busted out alot more angry then you were ment to .

He placed on hand on you hip only for you to shrug it off and step backwards as your stomach did flips . He looked at you dumbfounded.

"Wha ... what's the matter ?" His blue eyes glassy .

"Nothing I'm fine " you clearly wernt as your stomach was threating an appearance.

"No your not.." he began as he took a step closer towars you . " if you were you wouldn't be acting like this " he put a piece of hair behind your ear and stroke your cheek. You were fighting everything in your body, nerves that was telling you to kiss him, for him to kiss you back as if you mean something to him .

" like what " you questioned

" distance " he sighted .

"Distance ?"

" yeah ... I haven't saw you in what feels like forever and you .... arrr you wont let me go near you.. as if your always on edge .. like were gonna get caught .. when we ain't " he sighed taking a deep breath . " love just tell me what the matter ... your driving me crazy "

"How ?" You felt yourself soften under his blue gaze , as you were on the edge to give in .

"I havnt stopped thinking about you " he rubbed the back of his neck , you took a step forward, almost giving in again " when you said you couldn't make it , spend time with me that night. I spend it all alone thinking of you "

A blow ! As if just like that your brain gained consciousness again for the dream that was Steve Rogers he just lied straight up to your face . He wasnt by himself he was with Peggy and by the looks of it he wasnt thinking about you at all .

You turned around and placed the hot water into the mug . You heard a sarcastic chuckle form behind "well ain't you gonna say anything?"

"Like what " you said as calmly as you could with your back away from him .

"Uh I dunno how about I missed you too Steve "he sound like a wounded man .

"Well I didnt " now you were lying as your turned around mug in your hand heading for the door . You saw a broken Steve

"Wha...what " was all he could get out "what do you mean ....y/n please talk to me " he placed a hand on your arm which you pushed of straight away .

"Theres nothing to talk about .." you felt every fiber in your being yelling at you to just jump into his armes but you wouldn't let your self do that as your eyes turned glassy .

"Then why are your eyes telling me something else .... just speak to me , I'm worried "

"Should you be worrying about your wife " you barked back . He was took back by your words .

"Is this .. what's its about.. Sharon " he let out a dry laugh .

"She your wife you should be giving her your full attention and worrie. " you argue.

"You cant be serious ... after the last 8 months your telling me to be a good husband now " he let out another laugh as he placed his hands on his hips.

"You should of been a good husband in the first place.. "

"Ha y/n what are you getting at here ... why are you in a mood all of a sudden "

"I'm not in a mood iv just had my eyes open that's all " you said ,

"What !" His eyes turned glassy as he cleared his throat . " you... you want to end .. this ?" His voice on the verge of tears

NO! You wanted to scream and yell the word , you didnt want it to end .

" yes " felt a lump raise in your throat .

"No no ... " Steve began shaking his head as he stepped closer to you only for you to push passed him and reach for the sink as your breakfast made it's way back up. " oh my god " you heard steve as he made his way next to you and went to touch until you put your hand up.

"Leave ! Just leave me alone " you began crying .

"No ... never . Not when your like this . Never " a single tear rolled down his cheek

"Why do you care !" You whisper yelled "why would you ever care about me anyway I'm not important. You should care about me . This shouldn't of ever happen so tell me Rogers why did it happen. Why do you care !" You wiped your mouth and rinsed the sink

"Why ? " you demand

"Because I.. " he stopped himself as more tears began to roll down his cheek " please ...please dont end this " he begged

"Why !" You were a mess with your tears rolling down your face .

"Because.. " he began

"Because?"

"I love you god damn it !" He yelled .

#chris evans #steve rogers #chris evans fanfiction #captain america #chris evans x reader #steve rogers au #30daysofchris2020 #steve rogers x reader #fanfic #comics #Steve #steve rodgers x reader #steve rodgers imagine #steve x reader

[kenjis9965]

I guess I'm going to stick my head out and prepare for it to be shorn off.. I've been playing Cyberpunk 2077 since launch, I've not finished it yet but I'm about 30 hours in. I'm going to do my best avoiding spoilers while talking about the game.

A lot has been written about the crunch aspects which genuinely should not have happened. Do I think they intended to? I have no idea. 2020 has been a hell of a year. Regardless the crunch time should not have happened. Others have written about this at length and I don't feel I have anything to add to this that hasn't been already said.

The state of the console releases was abysmal from my understanding. I'm playing on PC, I'm lucky enough to be rocking a R9 3900X + RTX 3080 and I'm playing it in 4k in proper HDR with RT and all the goodies.

Performance is fine. It's what I've seen many times in the past on these cross-generational/first in a next generation releases. Again, everything at Ultra, 4k+DLSS, etc and I'm running around at a fairly good 50-55 or so fps most of the time. Heavy drops are usually in the scripted conversational scenes which see it go down to 30-40, but that depends on location and seems to depend on how many reflective surfaces are in play. Overall other games of this "type" such as Witcher 3 or AC Unity which pushed stuff to its limits were far worse than this in terms of performance hiccups and etc. I know I'm running top shelf hardware however and others experiences may be different.

In terms of glitches I guess I've been lucky overall. I've had maybe 5 crashes in 30 hours of play. I've had few "weird" things happen.. In fact the worst so far was when I loaded a checkpoint when I was riding as a passenger in a car I loaded into the driver position inside the driver which was strange. I havnt seen like random npcs drop dead in the street or cars fall from the sky or any of those things I've seen others report on.

Overall I'm enjoying it. I think there's several well done little side quests, I enjoy the characters I've met and I love the setting. I am overall having a blast with the game and enjoying the storyline. I do find plenty of social commentary in it. I've been immersed in it in a way I havnt been in a long time in all honesty (and I'm an old schooler who played Deus Ex on release. To give context)

So why write this? Because I wish everyone else was able to enjoy it this much too. I wish pronouns were just something you could select instead of being dictated by your voice. I wish the hairstyles were universal. Mostly though the game definitely needed another few months in the oven. A delay to April 2021 would probably have avoided the crunch issues and resulted in a more polished product. Or even staggering the releases of the PC and console versions to give each the attention they needed.

On PC it would have been nice to have RT support for Amd's RX6000 cards as well as Nvidia's RTX cards, it would have been a MASSIVE thing and given us a real point of comparison between the two in a game that heavily leverages RT for its look. Also perhaps getting Amd's upcoming dlss competitor a chance to show what it can do

On consoles the old ps4/Xbox one were always going to choke on this game. But they should have had next gen PS5/Series patches on day one. The ps4/Xbox one definitely needed a lot more tuning and bug fixing. I kinda go back to my theory that maybe they should have delayed the console release and polished up the pc version first THEN worked on getting the console versions to an equally good state.

The game needed more time. I don't know how much covid impacted the time estimates. There's obviously obstacles to remote working in any field. Perhaps they assumed the entire covid thing would be resolved. Perhaps not. And perhaps they've answered that and I missed it. If they hadn't had to crunch so hard to get a somewhat working product maybe there'd have been more time to go over the work and adjust things like pronoun/gender being tied to voice. Or the stupid flickering light shit that could cause a seizure.

I feel the game was close, very close, to being a very universally acclaimed title had it not been for the last minute crunch. I think it would be easier to look past it's failings and problems if it was on a technical level "finished" for most people. I do genuinely hope the industry is learning from this crap, even if I also admit that's probably not going to happen. Also from past titles cdpr will probably get it patched up eventually (Witcher 3 was a buggy mess folks)

#Cyberpunk #Cyberpunk 2077 #Gaming #Pc gaming #Opinion

[suzakumuto]

Ruby hadn't slept in a few days worried about Suzaku, she spent most this time looking for him.

She knew she did alot of of horrible and terrible things to him on the past but has moved on from that now everyone knows her real feelings for him.

She was pained and hurting in side deep down as he's married to another but she was still happy for the vampire.

Ruby: "this is the only place left..... his secret hide out..... he hasn't been here in years, perhaps I should of checked here first..."

She enters the forest, something seemed off like a fight had broke out as many trees were slashed down by a weapon.

She moves faster as she runs threw the forest only to find Suzaku up against a tree passed out, he had many injury from his training with Guren.

Ruby: "SUZAKU!!!"

She runs over to him and kneels down in front of him, he was breathing but very exhausted he held a sword in his hand that was resting on the ground.

Ruby: "what the shell's been going on here, who did this to you"

Suzaku still had his eyes shut as he was slowly coming round from his sleep.

"That bastard Guren was training me to defend my self.... why did you come looking for me Ruby"

He weakly opens his eyes and looks at her.

Ruby: "why else, the twins and I were worried about you even your dad and sister"

"Take it she hadn't noticed I was gone?"

Ruby: "She?"

"My wife..... for a while now things have been werid between us so I wouldn't be surprised"

Ruby: "you had more on your mind than just your parents havnt you, why didn't you talk to someone"

"Why... because I'm used to it now Ruby.... first Mika leaves me then Ryuzaki disappears almost like he's gone to another planet..... it didn't work out with Lilly and now I'm afaird I'm losing Jessie now too she's keeping away all the time, I'm starting to wonder if you know.... what if I'm cursed"

Ruby: "I don't think your cursed Suza but..... with Mika he was wrong for you anyways, the guy didn't freak you well, he forced you into stuff you didn't want to do, Ryuzaki I guess no one knows what's happened to him, the police have marked him as dead or missing"

"I know and after being told all this stuff by my dad and guren it brought these memories back..... I never told Jessie many things about my life.... perhaps that's where I went wrong"

Ruby: "you don't talk about it because you want to forget, there's no reason to talk about, all that matters is what's happening now"

"I still sense something isn't right through, more the reason for me to keep my distance and give her some space of her own, be sides I'm a monster there's more to it."

Ruby places her hand over Suzaku's. He turns his head away not looking at the red haired

Ruby: "your not a monster.... if you were a monster I wouldn't have these feelings for you"

"But I am..... And I must insist you leave before I do something I regret"

He gets up ready to leave, for a while he had also been fighting with himself deep inside, fighting his feelings.

Ruby: "you should go back and get washed Suzaku I'm not leaving till you go back home"

She runs after him grabbing him by the arm.

"Look, this is my problem.... damit, I will not given in to...."

Ruby: "given into what, your starting to scare me Suzaku"

"I'm trying to avoid you before this happens"

He pulls her close to him, he face flushed red by the sudden movement.

Ruby: "I've done something to upset you again havnt I.... what ever it was I'm very..."

She gets cut off as Suzaku suddenly kisses her. Her eyes suddenly open wide with pure shock not expecting this, this was nothing like the accidental kiss they had days before, this was different, filled will with more love. He breaks the kiss and starts to walk away.

"That's why I have to avoid you..... I love my wife very much yet I have these feeling for you too, which makes me a monster, now do you get it. Don't come after me.... if anyone asks just tell them I went over seas to write new music....."

Ruby watches him disappear she knew he was prob going to remain in the forest as he left his stuff and tent. But she could see why he needed to stay away now, he needed time to clear his head, it was more than just family but it was his love life he was struggling with too, Ruby decided perhaps it's best she doesn't tell anyone what had happened.

Multi verse (not to do with any rps so Suza did not cheat on Jessie at all in the main rps, this is just a multiverse as I'm bored XD)

@crew-from-another-dimension it's just a multiverse what if moments sort of thing o.o

@oc-clique-x mentions of Ryuzaki XD

[jeonjagia]

Dancing For Yooni- Chapter 31 “Yes, I forgive you Jungkook.”

Jungkook has been lying on the couch for another week straight. I'm becoming tired of caring for him hand and foot. 'Chandry do this and Chandry do that. ' Shaking my head I close the refrigerator door looking at his sleeping form on the couch. The boys come over when they can and discuss plans of going back to Korea. I usually sit in the kitchen, not caring anymore. I've become frustrated with my situation. No one lets me outside anymore, Jungkook always needs my help, and I feel trapped. Groaning, I throw the deli meat onto the counter a little loudly. Jungkooks form shifts on the cushions. Biting my lip, I wait for him to fall back asleep. Shit. He moans as he gently shifts to his other side. His wound is healing well. I rebandage it once a day. He has been acting nicer towards me. Maybe it's because he's injured. I bet when he heals up again he will return to normal. At least I got a little peace these past few weeks. As I finish making my sandwich, I walk towards the tv room. There's no where to sit besides the couch, which Jungkook occupies. Sighing, I kneel down on the floor in front of the coffee table and criss cross my legs. At least the floor is a little comfortable. I bite into my delicious sandwich and switch the tv on. Thankfully it's not too loud. I flip through the channels till I find one which I want to watch. I work on my sandwich, relishing every bite. My appetite hasn't been much lately, so this will probably be my only meal. "Hey," I hear a voice behind me. Turning I see Jungkooks awake and watching the tv. "What," I reply, picking crumbs on my plate. "Don't sit on the floor, sit up here," he says scooting further back and patting the cushions. I stare at him, blinking once. "No," I reply. "Why not?" "Because you're going to hurt me," I reply. He falls silent. "I won't," he replies quietly after a few moments. I think for a few seconds, deciding on wether it's worth it or not to sit on the couch with him. I stand up, discarding my plate on the coffee table and slowly approach Jungkook. He leans back, welcoming me. And I sit. Jungkook is laying on his injured side, back against the back of the couch, I sit at the curve of his hips. I can't relax as I stare at the tv, not paying attention to it. I'm too nervous. "Relax," he says leaning forward to pick at my leftovers of my sandwich. "How can I relax Jungkook? Here I am, sitting in the curve of you, wondering wether or not this is an act and you're going to return to normal once you heal?" I spit at him. He seems taken aback, hand pausing its action of bringing scraps of meat to his mouth. "How long have you felt that way?" "Are you dumb?!" I question. His eyes snap to mine, fire in them. I expect him to hit me. Nothing. I hear his breathing increase and release. "You've conditioned me Jungkook to fear sudden movements, because, guess what? You hit me, beat me, torchered me!" "I never did what that ass did to you!" He yells at me. I lean away from him. "You might have not squeezed lemons on my wounds, yet you caused worse ones!" I fire back. "I saved you from him!" "Saved me from him?! Just to be with you for three years of pain and belittling?!" "What the fuck?! Don't you see what I did?" "No! I can't because I'm to fucking scared of what I say is wrong or if I'm going to get hurt if I misplace your fucking beer!" I yell. He rolls his eyes. "I wasn't that bad," I look at him, jaw clenching. Not that bad?! "Not that bad?" I say in barely a whisper, voice edged with anger. In one quick motion, I grab the hem of my shirt and tear it from my body. Jungkook flinches. My scars from him litter my body. "There's more on my legs, do you want to see those too?" I ask with poison etched into my words. He stares at my body, seeming to see my scars for the first time. "What did i do to your legs?" He asks eyes still trained on my body. I slide off my sweatpants. Now only in underwear, I stand before Jungkook, his work carved into me. Granted, not all of it is his doing. Some of that man and my father. Jungkook shifts as he swings his legs off of the couch. He stands, hand holding his injured side. He approaches me, eyes wandering from scar to scar. I back up once he comes close, still scared of him. "Hm mm," he says softly, grabbing my waist with his free hand and holding me in place. My breath quickens. I havnt been like this with Jungkook for a long time. We stand in silence, Jungkook taking his fingers and tracing each scar gently, mind elsewhere. I am unable to hold myself together in front of him as each memory plays with his touch of the scar. A tear falls. He looks up at me, hand on my side. He wipes away my tear. I flinch once more. His lips purse for a second. "I'm sorry," he says in barely a whisper, eyes searching mine. I blink. More tears fall. "Are you just seeing what you've done now? Why I'm terrified of you?" I ask trembling. "Yes, I- I am a monster," he realizes eyes falling back down to his hand on my waist. His grip tightens. I gasp. Fingers digging into my skin. "Chandry, those years were full of drug use, and -" "I know," I cut in, voice shaking. He looks up, surprised. "I found your stash," I say quietly tears falling. His face morphs to pain at the sight of my crying. He wipes my tears away again. "I-I couldn't stop," I nod, sniffling. "I swear that's not me," He stammers head falling. "Show me it's not you," I reply as I tremble in his hold. "I've gotten out of the drugs hold," "Please stay out of it," "I promise to you I will stay away from drugs if you'll stay with me," He says looking into my eyes, the real Jungkook there. "And I promise you go stay with you if you do not harm me anymore," He nods, breath coming out in a sob. He kneels down, head pressing into my stomach. I cry as well. "I'm sorry Chandry, I'm so sorry," he sobs into my skin, tears soaking into the fabric of my panties. His sobs become a full on crying episode. His arms coming and gripping my hips, holding them tightly as he continues to cry, finally coming to the realization of everything he's done. I stand crying as well, not knowing what to do. I just let him hold me, though I do not touch him. He quiets after a couple of minutes, a sniffle here and there. He swallows and looks up at me. "Forgive me?" He asks. Blinking a couple of times, I finally nod, "Yes, I forgive you Jungkook."

[paulieshore]

Part Two: Somethings Wrong With Him

Heres part two leading up to the main event still. I recapped the last sentence of part one, if you havnt read part one go and read it! then come back and read me. Anyways here we go!!!

Characters : Victor, Lucien, Gavin, Kiro, MC (mention of side characters too)

Word count : 1, 494

Warnings: None 

Loveland Charity Event

Part Two: “Something’s Wrong With Him…”

‘He? Who’s He?’ Victor looked at you void of any emotion on his face but in his mind was like fireworks of sadness, anger and… jealousy?? All revolved around one word…. HE!....

 You stood there for what felt like forever, neither of you said anything. Victor just stared at you, felt like years of silence, feeling a little awkward finally you broke, “well if there isn’t anything else ill see myself out now.” Waiting a moment, Victor just silently nodded so you turned around and made your way to door.

Just as you reached for the handle, “I want the adjustments done by tomorrow, and personally delivered to me!”

Huff… your day off was tomorrow but looks like you’re here yet again, “Yes sir!” quickly escaping without even the slightest look back.

Inside the office Victor momentarily smiled, he thought back to what you had previously said… Who is he? He wondered, perhaps a colleague?  MC always seemed too busy with her work; he admired this about her given all the setbacks she always found a way, and never lost that purity of determination (most women around him wanted fame or money but she merely just wanted to do better, be better). Any other time he’d see her shed be stuffing her face with junk food he had never really noticed her around other men that weren’t working for her. Then Victor seemed to have remembered a time she was texting during work hours smiling stupidly at her phone. Was it him she was texting? Perhaps ‘he’ is … Kiro? He’d remember seeing you with him on a couple occasions, but wasn’t it for work? That’s when those unnecessary feelings began to stir again. Why? Setting aside his thoughts he decided to burry himself into work again, the best solution to take his mind off…her.

You finally reached the Café and looked through the window to see if Lucien had arrived. Running a tad bit late, you had thought to call but the phone died whilst at LFG and typically forgetting to charge it last night before going to bed.

Just then Lucien appeared from behind “Sorry I’m late, I had something come up.”

You nearly jump out of your skin when you heard him. “It’s fine I’m late too but I couldn’t call phones dead!” You responded, waving your phone near your face like to justify that you weren’t telling a lie.  

Lucien and MC entered the café; not far from where they were stood Gavin pulled up on his motor bike, he tried ringing you but went straight to voicemail every time. Being the worry wart that he was (though he’d never admit that to you) he tracked you down through the wind. When he arrived he saw you and him… This guy again, who is this guy really, he briefly recalls that night he stood with you and those bullets were flying towards you. Gavin sat there for a brief second before dismounting the bike.

Inside; you and Lucien ordered your teas and took a seat in a little booth waiting for your snacks to come, today’s special was a ginger cake. Lucien mentioned trying something similar when he was abroad in England so you had decided to give it a try (being the foodie that you are). Just as you were discussing the charity event you heard a voice from afar that sounded awfully familiar… You slightly raise your head over Lucien’s shoulder view to catch a glimpse of Gavin at the clerk counter. Lucien who was stirring his tea at the time looks up and notices you seemed slightly distracted from your conversation. He looks over his shoulder to your line of sight and now understood. For some reason he felt, agitated maybe even slightly territorial. He’s sitting right in front of you yet your distracted by him.

Gavin pays for his order after receiving his coffee and nonchalantly makes his way towards you two. Stopping just beside Lucien “hey what’s up? Fancy meeting you here,” addressing you**not like he knew you were here ^_^.

You give him a genuine smile and just as your about to respond Lucien chimes in “Hmm it’s you again, and who might you be then officer?” His face seemed merry but his voice sounded rather annoyed.

Gavin glances down, his face which was calm and stoic as usual was now slightly shifting to a more analysing stare, “Gavin.” Reaching his hand out, Lucien acknowledged Gavin’s gesture before standing to shake his hand in return, “Lucien.” You couldn’t help but feel like you were watching two cats at a stand-off; they shook hands but never parted. Standing there staring at each other…

“Are you going to hold hands all day or sit down?” you couldn’t miss this opportunity to stick it to them. Most people in your life seem to have a way of teasing you so when the chance arises you wouldn’t let it pass you by. Both men instantly let go of one another and looked at you flabbergasted, which made you laugh out loud. Might I add it wasn’t exactly a cute giggle either, you proper belly laughed then (LOL). This seemed to have defused what-ever might have been to happen. Gavin shook his head and explained he was still on duty and popped in for a coffee before setting off again, leaving you and Lucien to finish discussion about the charity event.

That evening you were going over the report Victor wanted adjusted and handed in to him next day.

~Tweet -Tweet~ your phone appears to have a new message, glancing over and seeing *KiRo* displayed on the screen. Setting the pen down you swipe the screen and open the text, it read:

KiRo: Hey Miss Chips! How’s it going?! I’ll be back in Loveland the day after tomorrow for a gig next week. We should hit Souvenir up when we can?

Replying: Hey Kiro, Yea sounds great I’ve been wanting to go back there but wouldn’t be quite the same without you. Let me know what day works for you!

You thought for a moment if maybe you reply sounded kind of… pathetic. Lord it’s no wonder you didn’t have many friends, ~Tweet-Tweet~

KiRo: Haha awe you miss me? I’ll shoot you my schedule later, gota go next gig is about to start!! TTYL

Reading that you blushed hard, you felt the heat rise in your cheeks to the tips of your ears. You sent a quick ‘ok’ before heading to the bathroom to splash some cold water on your face.  

 Next Day (5 days till the event)

You were just leaving LFG, Victor approved of the adjustments but his behaviour seemed rather off. Well more than usual, he didn’t call you an idiot or make any remarks. Strictly business today, for some reason it had you thinking perhaps you did something wrong. Stopping and giving your-self a bit of a shake and reminding oneself everyone has off days and not to think too much about it. You left LFG excited; now it was officially your day off! You hadn’t had a day off in well over a month, and with the event coming up you decided you will do some shopping. You invited Anna and Kiki out but they were either working or had other things to do, just as you got off the bus near the mall you noticed Gavin standing near the entrance.

“Hey Gavin, fancy meeting you here” you call out to him as you approach (hmm doesn’t that sound indistinguishable). Observing Gavin; his cheeks seemed to have redden’ a bit then, he raises his hand and scratches the top of his head not making eye contact with you.

“Uh yea I just finished a job.” Gavin barely squeezes these words out...

“Well since you’re here mind helping me?”  You lean in trying to get him to look at you. Did I embarrass him? No not Gavin, he’s to cool to be embarrassed so easily you think. He gives you a quick nod and the two of you enter the mall together.

After learning what you meant by needing help Gavin’s cool mojo seemed to have swung to a more awkward state of mind. You had settled with an evening gown a store clerk recommended and decided to call it a day, Gavin didn’t look so good. You had a suspicion he may be suffering from a fever. He insisted he was fine again and again, but judging by the redness of his face whenever you came out of the dressing room or when you would leave you’d peak to see him fanning himself constantly. Maybe you should take him to the hospital to have him looked at, seeing as he won’t even let you look at him let alone look at you for more than a couple seconds…. Something’s wrong with him….

To be continued.

Feel free to share (reblog), follow my page for future story progression **let me know your thoughts! **

Thanx for reading

#mlqc #mlqc victor #mlqc gavin #mlqc lucien #mlqc kiro #loveland #charity #jelous #mc #crossroads #love and producer #love #love triangle #love pentagon #fanfic #mr love queen's choice #mr love victor #mr love gavin #mr love lucien #mr love kiro #them boys are hotter then a hot tomali

[magical-plague-doctor-arts]

Why do you never post on this blog anymore? We’re fine with anything

here’s a list of why I don’t really post much!

1. My inability to sit my ass down long enough to actually create things (curse u adhd!)

2. lack of traffic (you say we but it’s really only you who gives me asks)

3. the main characters of understay are a bit awkward to write for and need a massive revamp (reread no:1 to know why I havnt done that yet!)

4.I created this account on my high school email (which no longer exists) so if I log off I’ll never be able to log on again!

5. i can’t remember my tumblr password word either so I can only use tumblr on my phone!

6. I get stupidly nervous talking to people online (curse u anxiety!)

7. my guilt over not posting here preventing me from telling you all this in case i get hate

[capeplace]

thoughts and more

I feel like I need to transfer the thoughts from my mind onto paper or here. Sometimes I wonder how we ever store all of this information in our minds especially my mind, the filing system is deffo faulty lol. 

Not even sure what it is I want to write, I guess just can feel a bit of brain business and the mind energy doesnt know where to go. Some of that has come out as negative thought processes or at least uncovering some core beliefs that don’t tend to bother me but when they resurface Im always like woah youre still there. But this time has not felt like I have been swept away in it, it has actually been quite helpful to just check in and think about those thoughts. One recurring one is always around this theme I like to use an analogy for which is the science worksheet. Basically its that feeling when I used to be in class and chatting and getting distracted and then at the end my friend hands in a completed worksheet and I am  confused like what I didnt realise we were chatting and doing work!? And thats how life feels sometimes. Like I get swept along with other peoples plans but somehow they are also sorting their life out and have big plans in the pipeline and I somehow am left behind. Like there is this weird feeling of oh I havnt done much yet other people always fit loads in... I dont know why I have that thought. But yeh I sometimes weirdly imagine myself looking back as an old perosn and recalling my life story to my child and being like oh to them it will sound busy and packed. But why do I see my life like  a tick box of things that need to be achieved. Cause on the one hand Im not concerned with success but on the other hand I want all these experiences and have this weird fear I wont be able to fit them in. 

I think these thoughts have come around because of lockdown ending and us returning to ‘normality’. I have this weird vision of me having loads of plugs attached to me and then during covid/ lockdown someone unplugged them all and turned off the switch and I had no pressures or repsonisility and now they have turned the electiricity back on and I can feel the plugs near and Im choosing which ones to plug in and I think its that image of like the things that fuel the ego way of thinking like Oh what can I do, what ma i good at, what are my hobbies, who do I want to be blah blah and actually life is way more beautiful when we dont ovwercomplicate life and just have fewer things to think about. I know I can get overwhelmed by choice so if I just limit that choice and let things flow, its always nicer. 

And I am continuously reminded by how much things fall into place when I am not overthinking. What was something Leos grandad said today.. a quote ruby likes. I think it was if you dont make a plan, nothing can go wrong.  

Also I have emailed Isabel the jungian analyst which is exciting because I really want to explore some stuff with her and maybe around spirituality also it would be really good to talk to someone about stuffff and yeh im really keen to just try out loads of different therapies and holistic stuff and just see what i connect with. Time to exploreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee 

[meganhvisualskills]

Life Drawing

28th of October.

We went back to women on this life drawing session and I was glad, this session made me realise I could draw the curves of a women much easier than the muscles on a man.

My five minute poses turned out pretty well. The proportions were correct as were the curves.

The pose on the left of the page didn’t go so well. There is something off about the stance and I can’t pin point what it is, I think I’ve accidentally drawn her top half and bottom half almost seperate and they don’t line up quite right. It was a difficult pose.

10 minute poses. In the left pose, She had a much leaner pose, curved back, and I didn’t capture that. But the proportions of the entire pose turned out well and accurate.

The right pose was challenging and I don’t think I’ve drawn many bent/ hunched over poses so it was nice to be challenged and I think it came out okay. It did take me a long time to get the shapes right however and that’s why I couldn’t get in any shading.

I am really happy with my 15 minute pose. I think, in my personal opinion, it’s one of the best pieces I’d drawn from the first week of life drawing. I managed to get shading in, not a lot, but just in the areas it was strongest. There were lots of curves to play with in this pose so I had fun whilst doing it.

The one area of the drawing I would change and don’t believe went quite right, is the head. It needs to be a fraction bigger again as I had it even smaller the first time.

I also should leave time towards the end of the drawing to erase the circles and construction lines so it finishes more clear and with contour lines only.

This pose was one of the hardest to date, we havnt done a whole lot of floor poses so I felt very inexperienced whilst trying it. I think the shape is near enough accurate but the neck is way too stretched out, as is the space between the bum and the shoulder. I managed to get shading in but I think I should have spent more time on the skeleton of the drawing.

The 25 minute pose was again, very difficult. I didn’t draw this very well, the proportions are off majorly. There were a lot of bent limbs which isnt a pose we’ve had a lot of experience yet. This is a pose I need to practice. It’s a pose that will take me a lot longer than 25 minutes to get right.

[miltalz]

For the BnHA questions: all of them?

oh fuck this is so many dude,, okay

~ B A S I C S ~

1: What part of the anime/manga piqued your interest? i started watching it a year ago actually and stopped after episode 4 for some reason... but i think what got me wanting to actually see where it was going was a scene of the sports festival i saw in gifs. specifically deku yelling at todoroki.

2: Did you think Midoriya would be a good protagonist in the first few chapters/episodes? i loved deku from the moment i saw him

3: How do you think Midoriya’s conflict with Bakugou will end? i actually have never thought about this but i feel like it’ll be both bittersweet and comforting for both of them, in a way

4: What was your first reaction to Bakugou’s treatment towards Midoriya? “whos this jackass and why is he so mean to my son ill kill him”

5: What do you think of All-Might as a hero? I LOVE HIM SO MUCH HE IS THE BES T

6: Do you think that Midoriya deserved to get OFA? yes. absolutly.

7: Aside from Midoriya, which character in the series do you think has had the most character development? todoroki

8: Favorite unpopular character? there are really only 2 unpopular characters in bnha and neither of them are my favorites

9: Favorite overall character? BAKUGOU KATSUKI

10: Do you have any OC’s? Describe them! If you don’t, create one on the spot. yes i do her name is akarui fuurashu and her quirk allows her to flash bright lights from her fingers that temporally blind her enemies (and anyone looking at the flash). her hero name is Flashbang

~ S H I P S ~

Pink: What are your main/favorite ships? im a huge kacchako bakugou/uraraka stan, but coming in close second is tododeku. i also super otp kirishima/bakugou/uraraka and kirishima/deku/todoroki

Blue: Do you have any NOTPs? im not a fan of baku//deku or todo//momo at all.

Yellow: Favorite fanfiction about your OTP? Downplay It (Kacchako) and Prince & Prince (TodoDeku) both stole my heart and ruined my sleep schedule

Green: Any preferred rarepairs? kirishima/uraraka, uraraka/momo, shinsou/deku

Purple: Do you have any works centered around your OTP? ive drawn a lot of kacchako since getting into it, and im currently in the works of several kacchako/tododeku fics right now 

Orange: Fluff or Angst? why not both

Red: What do you like the most about your favorite ship? its the classic bad boy/good girl, “jerk” and “goody-two-shoes” trope that i eat up all the time, also their dynamic is so good i could talk about them for hours. also theyre just really cute together...

Turqoise: What do you hate about your favorite ship? how much hate it gets lol

Lavender: Does your ship get a lot of hate? If so, why? because it’s a “straight” ship, because people think bakugou is abusive and would be awful to her, just a lot of dumb bullshit

Grey: Realistically speaking, will your ship ever become canon? probably not since it’s pretty obvious uraraka is dekus love interest but i can fucking hope and dream all i want

~ T H E O R I E S ~

Pop: Do you think the “Dabi and Shouto are brothers” theory is true? i am so behind this theory ive screamed about this to all of my friends who would listen

Indie: Opinions on the Traitor Kaminari theory? the what

Punk: Opinions on the Traitor Kirishima theory? I HAVNT SEEN ANYTHING OF THIS BUT HOW DARE YOU SPEAK OF MY SON AS IF HES DONE SOMETHING WRONG KIRISHIMA EIJIROU IS A GOOD BOY AND I WOULD DIE FOR HIM

Rock: What do you think of the “The doctor from Midoriya’s childhood is affiliated with the League Of Villains” theory? (in reference to this post) HE WAHT?? HI I HAVNT CAUGHT UP WITH THE WHOLE MANGA YEt WHAT THE FUC

Jazz: What do you think will happen now that Eri has been saved? good but also i dont know who that is yet i havnt read the whole manga... i mean i know thats the little girl with the horn but???

~ S T U D E N T S ~

11: Dekusquad or Bakusquad? i cant decide because i love them both but i have more faves in the deku squad than i do in the bakusquad... BUT my ULTIMATE fave is the leader of the bakusquad... BUT...

12: Most underrated student? kendou!!!!!!

13: Dadmight or Dadzawa? dadmight

14: Whose quirk do you think is the most unique? shinsou’s

15: Aside from Midoriya, who do you think has the most potential to be #1 Hero? todoroki

16: Should Mineta be replaced by Shinsou in the hero class? i think shinsou should BE in the hero class but i don’t think he should take mineta’s spot, purly because i dont hate mineta. hes a 15 year old boy that looks like a grape calm down

17: Favorite student(s) outside of Class 1-A? bakugou, uraraka, kirishima, deku, todoroki, and momo

18: Any HCs for the entirety of Class 1-A? the girls have lots of sleepovers, usually at momo’s house because its huge. the first time todoroki gets a confession letter he gets so nervous he sets it on fire and the other guys freak out because they wanted to know. kirishima brings in festive treats for everyone around holidays.

19: Do you remember their seating arrangement by heart? no but i think deku sits behind bakugou

20: Which of the students do you think has the most potential to become a villain? don’t ever speak to me or any of my children ever again

~  V I L L A I N S ~

Techno: Favorite villain? shigaraki or maybe dabi

Classical: Eight Precepts of Death or League of Villains? i havnt read the manga far enough to know how to answer this

Metal: Which villain’s quirk would you want for yourself? u know how cool it’d be to kill people just by touching them w your whole hand.....shigaraki dude

Soul: Shigaraki or Chisaki? shigaraki but im biased bc i havnt officially met overhaul yet

Alternative: Most obnoxious villain? oh shigaraki without a doubt he’s a tool i love him

~  M I S C ~

Apple: Favorite popular HC? that kirishima is gay

Strawberry: Who is your favorite pro-hero? all might

Banana: Which of the pro-heroes’ quirks fascinates you the most? present mic... he just ufcking screams

Cherry: Should Endeavor die like right now yeah

Pear: What was your reaction to Todoroki’s backstory? tears... real, pained tears, and anger

Kiwi: Should the BNHA girls get more spotlight/recognition? WHAT THE HELL OF COURSE THEY SHOULD SPECIFICALLY URARAKA WHERE SHES NOT SPOTLIGHTED AS THE LOVE INTEREST

Pineapple: What do you like the most about BNHA, as a whole? how easy it is to get attached to the characters

Watermelon: Dub or Sub? sub definitely... the dub almost made me put off watching it again

Coconut: How do you think Hokiroshi is doing, in terms of the plot? incredible. teach me how to do that.

Blueberry: What makes BNHA unique from all the other shonen animes/mangas out there? i wanna say character design tbh... you think fuckin kishimoto or isayama could put a character like shouji in their series and it still be cool? no

#long post #ty... #nonny's asks #asks