#which in itself is also just. rambling into the void. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

d6volution · 6 months

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IDEA FOR CAINE. so you knnow how pomni tought she was in dream? ok so what if we enter the digital circus and thnks its a dream to? where wes tart to do what ever becuase "oh its just a dream" and do it with caine to prove its not but soon later figure that you had actually fucked the ring master and now you have to live with that untill you abstarct. also, i love you...................re writing alot

thank........... you <33

hopefully this is okay! i accidentally made Caine a little mean at the end oops, poor reader.

Caine/Fem!Reader.

nsfw themes. | artwork.

minors dni.

You've been staring at the ceiling all night. Everyone was right.. you don't need to sleep. You don't even feel the urge, it was so.. strange. Unsettling.. it was making your mind feel like an endless void when you thought about it a bit too hard.

You closed your eyes and sighed before hopping out of bed and taking to the halls instead. You needed a walk, get your body moving to distract your mind just a little.

Which did little to help, in fact you were back tracking to your first theory.. surely this all had to just be a dream, you just had to figure out how to wake yourself up. yes that's it! a small sliver of hope.

"Hmm.." You pondered out loud, walking down the long corridor of rooms. Everyone else must be sleep or.. just relaxing their eyes more like. "Caine.. maybe if I.." you were muttering to yourself, walking back and fourth as if you were in some kind of trance.

Little did you know Caine was already watching, one of his eyes were tucked away in the corners of all the large open spaces , including the corridors. He was only half paying attention until you started—

"[Censor] [Censor] [CENSOR!]" Began screaming out every curse word and you would keep doing so until Caine showed up. Which, like clockwork he did.

"Now, now what's all this, y/n!? you'll wake up the others! Not to mention the potty mouth you have! Haven't we been over this already?" Caine said in a cheerful yet assertive tone, staring at you with his hands planted on his hips and waiting for your response.

But you didn't give him one , instead you reached up and gripped his suit collar and yanked him down, planting a kiss onto his jaw just to test the waters. He scrambled and pulled back, "W.. Woah now! What's gotten into your my dear!? You haven't even taken me on a first date yet!" He teased and continued to ramble about how inappropriate and unlike you that was.

Seduce the ringmaster... make him break his own rules, boom. Maybe.. the dream will backfire on itself so bad that you'll wake up?

Or maybe this entire idea was stupid and you're insane!

You shoved that little voice to the back of your head. You had to try something, the whole prospect of being trapped here in the first place was insane!

"A date..? Caine, you've been trapped here for ..well ever! ... Surely you want.. more than just a silly date!" You huffed, and tried to get closer to him but he was keeping his distance. Weary of your actions.

He tugged at his collar as if to fan himself, seemingly a bit tempted by your words, "W—Well , be that as it may, here at the digital circus we have to keep it family friendly we're to be enjoyed by all ages my dear!" He said and twirled his baton a few times within his gloved fingers.

"I know.. but, isn't there somewhere around here we can have a little.. privacy, Caine..~ Just the two of us? I promise no one else will see!"

Caine didn't say anything, he simply cleared his throat and took you by the waist and teleported you both to his quarters. It was grand and a little silly. A red and black theme that matched his outfit, and decor befitting for someone like him.

Caine sat at the edge of his bed and patted his lap.

Oh, god you were really doing this.. was it really this easy??

He tugged you onto his lap, and now you were flushed. But.. he didn't make a move to touch you at all.

"Now my precious , y/n we can start our date! We must take things slow to set a good example!" He said excitedly and flipped on the small tv in front of you both.

Oh we was serious. This.. this wouldn't do... it'd take too long.

You tuned out the television and Caine seemed to just tap his hand on your hip as he laughed at the corny jokes on the tv.

Just then a light bulb went off in your head and you shuffled a little in his lap, ass brushing and grinding against his crotch. You felt him stiffen and try to adjust a little.

"Something wrong?" You said oh so innocently.

"O-Of course not dear! I do hope you're enjoying the show! Bonding is very important for relationships!" He said , seemingly unphased but the sudden hardness poking against your ass was telling you everything you needed to know.

"I agree.. bonding is very important." You said in a low voice while squriming on his lap again, and his hand suddenly gripped your hip. Keeping you still.

"Ahem, heh, I think its best if you keep still dear! Don't want any.. accidents!"

He laughed, albeit nervously.

You took this chance and to turn around on his lap so you were facing him and shoved him onto the mattress. You were straddling him and keeping your palms flat on his chest as you grinded against his clothed erection, "That doesn't feel so family friendly in between your legs Caine.. just loosen up a little.~" You cringed hearing yourself trying to sound sexy but it seemed to be working. He was stuttering and making excuses but didn't push you away. In fact you could feel him twitching beneath you.

Fuck, you were getting more turned on that you thought you would.. when would this dream end..?

You were going to pull back, feeling as if this wasn't working but then you felt two large gloved hands on your ass tugging you back towards him.

"C.. Caine..?"

"Well, it seems I've just thought of way to keep this family friendly and satiate your.. more carnal desires dear! I didn't think you'd be so bold and I must say I'm impressed!"

"W—Well, I just.. I didn't think you'd actually—" You fumbled over your words and Caine took his chance to flip you onto your stomach, snapping his fingers and you were completely naked.

"C.. Caine!? What happened to taking it slow??" You said trying to cover yourself but he made sure you stayed on your stomach , his baton planted on your lower back with a bit of pressure.

"Ubupbup! None of that Y/N," He interrupted and tapped your inner thighs with his baton. Silently signaling you to open your legs and slowly you did, nuzzling the blankets in embarrassment.

"Tsk, tsk, just as I thought! You're making an absolute mess!" He shoke his head in disappointment. Making a spectacle out of your arousal.

"W.. What are you going to do..?" You whined and glanced back at him , his erection straining against his black pants quite clearly.

"Well, I'm going to give you a lesson in sexual education of course! Maybe then you'll believe this isn't a dream."

Your lips cracked into a unsettling smile, realizing the position you were in and.. well you were fucked, literally and figuratively now.

"Oh, don't give me that look dear, where did all that vigor go!?" A silly sound effect followed his teasing words, "I assure you you'll feel just fine by the time I'm done with you!~ Or... you'll abstract and I'll have to throw you into the cellar with the rest of them! Either way, I have a lesson to get on with!" He said while planting himself behind you , gloved hands gripping your hips.

"Keep still, will you?"

#the amazing digital circus #minors dni #ask #caine x reader #tadc caine #the amazing digital circus caine #caine x reader smut

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avatarofcuriousity · 1 year

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How and why Lilith didn't do anything wrong and still deserves justice.

(Or aka, me ranting about the corruption of the Celestial Realm once again)

(This is essentially just me rambling into the void, but it continues to fester in my mind, so please indulge me if you can lol)

Lilith, the 7 sin's sweet little sister who met an unfortunate fate; did NOTHING wrong. What she did was nothing worthy of the severe punishment that was given. It's one of the many instances of the Celestial Realm being corrupted, but it's THIS specific instance that makes my head spin.

For starters, no, Lilith did NOT get punished for falling for and being with a human. This is a common misconception, so I'd like to make that clear.

What Lilith got punished for; was stealing Celestial Realm food and altering a human's life-span. I am here today to discuss why there was entirely nothing wrong with Lilith's decisions and how the Celestial Realm's decisions were nothing but harmful and hypocritical.

Let's get this show rolling. Let's go over my First focus point: The Celestial Realm Food.

My first question; is why. WHY keep something that could be so valuable AWAY from humans? For angels, their very purpose is to help humans, to quite literally perform miracles. So why?

Why not cure this human of an incurable illness when it's so easy? Why do they INSIST on causing more pain to the human in suffering, as well as the people, and in this case, angels around them?

It's not like Lilith's lover was on his deathbed because of old age. It's not like it was his time. So what was stopping the Celestial Realm from just healing him in the first place?

There was nothing to lose. Lilith could've been happy, and with it, an entire WAR could've been avoided.

The fact that even later in the story, WITH MC, Celestial Realm food is just. Treated normally? It's literally one of the VERY first things that come up! That in Lesson 7, they have food served from different realms when staying at Diavolo's castle.

Devildom food on the first day, Celestial Realm food on the second day and Human World food on the third day.

You can make the argument that it could've been a very specific and special Celestial Realm food, after all, it DOES provide healing abilities. The problem with that is; it's a hypothetical. It could've been a very rare and special fruit, or it could've been the Celestial Realm equivalent to a fucking donut.

In the end; it's never stated to be anything special. All that is said is that it's simply made out to be ordinary Celestial Realm food. That's the plain and simple information given, and unless there's something specific we don't know about; we have to take this as fact.

If it's not stated in canon; then it's not canon. This is rule of thumb.

If we go with this, then we can make the argument that all Celestial Realm food is inherently healing to humans. At the end of the day, no one is batting a single EYE with MC eating Celestial Realm food.

Which brings me to my second focus point: No one is batting a single eye with Solomon being immortal.

Let's bring in another hypothetical! Let's just say that whatever Lilith's human lover ate, turned him immortal. I'll first mention how this is very unlikely if not impossible.

Lilith lived a happy life with her lover as a human. Lilith also died as a human. Why would Lilith's human lover be any different? Why would he continue living? If that were to be the case, you'd think that it would make itself a plot point or at least be mentioned; but it's not.

BUT. For the sake of this hypothetical; let's just pretend he turned immortal. Whether he is still living or got killed years ago; let's just assume he was/ is immortal. (Note: Immortal simply means living forever. This does NOT equal immunity and removing the chances of being killed or something happening to you. Tons of people don't know this, and it astonishes me, so please live your life with this knowledge)

So.

He's immortal.

deep inhale...

WHY IS THIS A PROBLEM. LIKE??? DO I EVEN. HAVE TO EXPLAIN MYSELF. AGGRESSIVELY POINTING TO SOLOMON HOW NO ONE HAS A SINGLE PROBLEM WITH HIM BEING IMMORTAL SO WHY DOES IT EVEN MATTER I SWEAR THE CELESTIAL REALM IS SO FUCKING HYPOCRITICAL AND MAKES ZERO SENSE AND--

Conclusion!

So, uh, yeah, Lilith did nothing wrong and I am 100% a Lilith apologist.

Yeah, no, I'm not ending there. I still have one more thing to add. A question I've asked more times than I can count.

Why?

Why couldn't Lilith's lover live? Why did Lilith have to be punished? Why did a war have to break out?

And since no one will be giving me an answer, I'm providing myself one:

Because they wanted this to happen.

Is it really that surprising? The Realm that has done nothing but scheme, manipulate and brainwash, (gaslight, gatekeep, girlboss) that they were the ones to set up the war? Because they wanted it to happen? And still, WHY? Why would they want this to happen?

Well, for one, if you read this other lil theory/ analysis that you should definitely check out by the way--

God is fucking SALTY.

I'm sorry, I genuinely can't describe it any better. Like. I. Yeah. That's. That's genuinely it. That's the summary, that's the conclusion.

Okai, fine I'll explain a bit more.

God wanted to get rid of anyone who opposed him.

The brothers were already on the brink of falling; even before the war and what happened with Lilith. The brothers, along with Lilith I'm sure; were already defying God and questioning the very system they have pledged their lives to. (Not that they had a choice) God saw this; and so he planned. Planned a war, or rather; an excuse to get rid of the brothers. The very ones that have started questioning and defying him; but never stating it outright.

And the other angels and the like; accepted this and followed like sheep, as an unfortunate truth as that is.

Lilith's crimes weren't because she fell in love with a human, and it wasn't because she altered a human's life-span. Lilith's crimes were because she was defying a corrupted system, a corrupted ruler.

And she paid the price for acting as the catalyst just so her brothers could follow down with her.

Wow! So! You made it! Allll the way down to the end of the post! You read it all, I'm so proud of you! Can't believe you'd listen to my silly lil ramblings, so thank you.

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ruthlesslistener · 7 months

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Could you talk about the Shade Lord? Especially the apologist part, what needs apologising (genuine question)?

Oh the apologist part is just me joking about how I'd defend LOS no matter what they do, not necessarily because they actually did anything bad lol. And if they did, I'd fight for them all the same bc they're my little meow-meow and some murders are funny (there's a reason why my Destiny 2 sideblog is ahamkara-apologist, even though the Ahamkara as a race are vastly more problematic than the LOS- they're space dragons and I love them). Ofc, there's always those people who think that the Lord of Shades is some kind of evil entity unleashed by Ghost that'll bring about the ruin of Hallownest twice over (usually people who don't realize that the Lord of Shades is CONTROLLED by Ghost- it's the shades of all the dead vessels with Ghost as its Focus), but mostly its just bc I adore them. Though it does have the added bonus of pointing out that while I like the Pale King and the Radiance as characters, I'm ultimately sympathetic to the vessels the most, which is a core point in my ramblings that I fear often gets lost, especially when I get angry about the 'PK is a colonizer and the moth tribes/Radi were the natives he genocided take'- because idgaf about people hating PK, what I hate is how incorrect that was AS WELL AS how it ignores the fact that the Void Civilization came before the Radiance did, which always seems to be conveniently forgotten or brushed over in those arguments. The fact of the matter is that Radi and PK aren't the 'secret heroes' no matter how you spin it, they're monsters that abused, tortured, and manipulated the voidborn- aka Ghost, their siblings, and (maybe) those that used to worship their element. Sympathetic monsters, yes, monsters who are caught in a tragedy, but still monsters. It's the Void that's the victim, and I stand by that in its entirety. Every act of retribution was justified. Even them killing Godseeker- which is the argument some people use for them being evil- because why shouldn't they? She was awful to them, cruel and rude and scornful just like the Pale King was cruel and the Radiance was hateful. SHE was the reason why the Radiance grew in power to become Absolute Radiance. She deserved what she got, 100%. Ghost and their siblings endured a lifetime of torment from the moment they were hatched, they deserve EVERY little scrap of retribution they get- and they aren't monsters for lashing out at the ones who caused the pain in the first place. It's all justifiable

(Also, neither PK nor Radi are my favs. Hollow is, with their relationship to their siblings [specifically Hornet] being my fav dynamic. I only like to explore PK and Radi in depth because of their impact on Hollow's life. So needless to say I'm a void stan through and through, and since the Lord of Shades is all of them, it fits)

As for the Lord of Shades themselves! I think I already sort of covered why I love them so much just in the first two paragraphs- they are all the shades of the dead vessels poured into one entity, with Ghost as the Focus, and thus the Lord of Shades is in essence Ghost (and co, minus Hollow probably) in their ascendant form, as a true Higher Being. Which is in of itself a monumental feat for something that was hatched to die, a godling denied their deific status by beings who could not understand them as anything but death. They're vengence and defiance made manifest, and they were reformed into the shape they are now because they looked into the eyes of their creators and tormenters and said no more. The first step towards their creation, the catalyst for their metamorphasis, was turning the Kingsoul into the Voidheart- very literally rejecting the Pale King's edict and reforming it into a beacon of their own power, accepting their nature and defying their maker. They looked at the very soul of someone who had cast their eggs into the dark sea below, who hatched them into a graveyard and watched them die in the millions, who made them to be slaughtered for his own cause because he thought they as the voidborn were less than alive- and they said 'I reject you. I reject what you said to me. I reject what you represent. I reject your vision, the way you made me to be. I will forge my own path. I will make my own way. I will accept what I am and I will show you right now that I am alive, I am here, I am not heartless and I am not thoughtless. I am what I am. I am the Void. And I will do what I must to save the family that you left behind.'

AND THEY DID IT FOR THE LOVE OF THEIR SIBLING, they did it for the love of the Hollow Knight, who let them fall and left them to die when they were both just hatchlings, who they had no obligation to save and yet rushed back to do so anyways. And they soldiered on through impossible odds, through endless fights in life and dream all while a spiteful, hateful creature hissed at their worthlessness and empowered their worst enemy, so that they could destroy the Radiance in her entirety, before she could be brought back at the peak of her power. The entire REASON that they could become the Lord of Shades in the first place and WHY they achieved that metamorphasis was for the love of their family- and for a vengence long-overdue, to say 'enough, enough!' and end the torment that plagued their kind for so long for no other reason than the selfishness of other gods. Dream No More was a beautiful ending that encapsulated the vessels finally getting peace, but I love the Embrace the Void ending because to me it feels like Ghost (and the other vessels) are reclaiming what was rightfully theirs, by force, from the entities who subjugated them for so long, and taking their rightful place as the major god of Hallownest- a birthright stolen from them by the Radiance, and denied to them by the Pale Gods.

(Also you can very easily imagine the LOS as Ghost being essentially a streamer with the other vessels being their chat and I love that sm. The-Many-Who-Are-One. My beloveds)

So yeah, that's why I'm the Shade Lord apologist. I fucking love them. 1000000/10 god

#hollow knight #the lord of shades #the hollow knight #anon #reply #[holds them gently] i would die for all of u #my adoration for them is partially why udsb has so much fuckin void sea metaphors and shit going on

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tagedeszorns · 4 months

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(Violetbirdie here) I think it's complicated due to a variety of issues. 40k as a franchise is huge, but it isn't the sort of thing that tends to have overlap with tumblr type fanspaces. It also doesn't help that 40k is a fractured fandom featuring tons of different factions, so it's not like a standard fandom where there are main characters and a main story that people will always flock to. The primarchs are the closest thing we have to that, which is why there is naturally more content for them. In addition, fandom itself is in a bit of a flux state and has been ever since the 2018 nsfw ban which caused a lot of people to leave for twitter, which is now undergoing its own huge changes right now (and I just hate twitter on principle).

I suppose the one thing I think would help, would be somehow getting the 40k tumblresque fandom space more consolidated as a whole. Like, somehow have a blog that is popular for all factions that posts headcanons about everything, thus getting people interested in parts they don't normally think about. Because 40k is a huge time investment to learn about. I've been listening to audiobooks for what feels like nonstop for over a month, and even then I could only ever feel confident telling people about Emperor's Children. So it naturally is harder for new people to get into the fandom and focus on some of the smaller things because there is just so much. It's almost how I view your blog. I check it daily for fun art/headcanons/just general character stuff, and you made me more interested in some of the captains and such. But even then, you have your focuses. So a space even more general where someone would reblog art from everything 40k would likely be nice? Maybe I just miss the livejournal days of fandom. As far as more engagement, I think having silly things like character weeks which encourages people to draw or write or talk about specific aspects is a huge benefit. It sets a schedule and makes people feel like they are shouting less into the void.

But as someone new here, maybe its my weird perspective, but I don't feel like things are getting less popular. If anything, from just checking AO3, it seems like things are only getting more popular for less of the reddit type and more for the Tumblr wanting to see hot dudes and their complicated feelings type. Also more people are getting into 40k in this side of the space through rogue trader. Like people I never talked to about 40k are starting to look into the series because they played Baldurs Gate 3, and needed a new RPG to play, and conveniently Rogue Trader is filling that for them. So, I'm optimistic if anything. Sorry about the long ramble! Just kinda dumping my thoughts out.

I love Tumblr because, unlike Twitter or Bluesky, it allows for way longer, way more elaborately structured posts. I love it when artists don't just slap their pics into a post and be done with it, but instead add stuff like maybe "I read this book, here's a quote, and it gave me this mighty need to draw this". Or "please listen to this music here while looking at my pic! It goes perfectly with it!". Or just a multi-paragraph-essay (preferably very unhinged) about the character in the upper left corner.

This in advance, so you can see I'm totally with you on the "miss Lifejournal"-thing, because blogs are so much better than just 500 characters, four pics and nothing else. And why I think Tumblr is a very good replacement for Lifejournal.

The multitude of Tumblr-blogs with their many different angles are such a treat and provide such a rich ecosystem! I follow artists posting exclusively admech-stuff, others solely Drukhari, some writers focussing on just one Astartes Legion ... it's phantastic and the depth of their niche-knowledge is mindblowing.

I agree with you that this will be overwhelming for new fans coming from rather monolithic stuff like Rogue Trader. And the key to keeping those new people involved and making them feel welcome is showing them all this variety without scaring them away.

Maybe this new feature Tumblr is working on, can be helpful here. I haven't read much about it yet, but it seems the "Community"-feature has the potential to bundle stuff in a way that's more approachable for new and old fans alike. Maybe there's room for your idea of having "character weeks" (I like that! Sounds very MacDonald's. I'll have Fabius with extra pickles, please! 😁).

I'm sharing your optimism that both the new games and maybe the new series/movies will bring a lot of new fans over and some of them may even stick around. I am a bit wary that there's the possibility of a MCU-situation starting to build up, but since Warhammer-lore is in a constant state of flux anyways this might just add some spice to the mix.

So, yeah, hope for the darkest of futures!

#warhammer #Fandom #Tumblr #Meta #Warhammer 40k #Community

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wanderingcoyotes · 8 months

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sait...

ive had so much going around in my head about sint. hmm

(hopefully this readmore works right i dont really know how they work! ->) headcanon/au rambles below :3

OKOK so they werent that bad at 1st. after their 1st "incident" when they tried 2 ascend the void worm and got sent back, that!! that was their turning point. i think they were good friends with arti and pebbs pre-incident. they were cheerful, kind of like gourmand? happy with the way the world works. unaware of their true power. this strays pretty far from canon by itself but it gets . way wackier

(the incident) they communicate with every echo, and reach their max karma. i remember i had a comic? animatic? idea with them, enot, nightcat, martyr, (which all work together in my (anthro) au, anthro specifically because i use it for more of my serious headcanons? and stuff? i guess?) and some form of sos. they snap and end up ascending enot, or hurting them significantly. nightcat begs for them not to go to rubicon. they know something bad will happen. but they push past everyone and go anyways (theyre clueless, they just want the thrill they get from mass ascending creatures. horrible little beast.) they let the greed get the better of them and end up trying to ascend the void worm, restarting the cycle. except it gets worse. the cycles end up slowly becoming more and more screwed up, every time they attempt to ascend the void worm, trying to find the "perfect" or "correct" way, they were determined. except. they realized that they were getting nowhere. the same exact thing happens.

somewhere. sometime they rip a way out, did someone do it for them? did they figure it out themselves? not sure. they find their way into the main timeline. (fun fact! they arent the only one that does this, so do enot, nightcat, and martyr. theyre all kind of funky, enot and nightcat are glitchy little beasts/twins that do what they want. lol) they arent any different, with their previous knowledge of how screwed up the cycles become if they give in again.

they become part of the colony, learning the ways of the normal colony-living slugcats ("normal" glances at spears and riv (enot and night also live there. so)) and become curious about gourmand and monk's study of the world, taking an interest in their natural medicine.

IM not very good with coming up with stories so there probably is bad consistency or things that dont make sense. i just see saint in a very unique way i think so i have . many thoughts but i dont know how to perfectly align them with words. i made alot of this up on the spot to make their story flow a little better, but im not the best writer. shrug

OK im done typing my hands hurt. goodbye gang

#rw saint #rw downpour spoilers #rw downpour #rw slugcat #rw au #rw anthro #rw fanart #rain world #rain world fanart #saint..fucked upthing huh #i could tag enot and nightcat but theyre only mentioned in the ramble. so??? idrk #pixie arts #pixie chats

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ex-mortis-evie · 9 months

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!!CW!! Slightly trancey language.

I nearly forgot to gush about eye fixation!

It’s probably one of the most well-known focus objects/visuals in all of hypnosis, and there’s a good reason for it!

Not only is it a relatable and warm reminder of the humanity behind hypnosis (everyone has eyes, if you could believe that) but it’s just simply a great visual!

It takes the best element of a spiral, the infinite empty void within, and applies a personal touch to that through the color of someone’s eyes.

Like take me for example, I use a lot of visuals of emerald green eyes in my sessions/trances, it helps to give not only a visual of my face but also gives the subject a warmer color to fall into, which also of course helps the whole relaxation element of trance. (Plus green’s a great alliteration word, something I tend to love using/hearing)

Plus, there’s always something about the idea of keeping your eyes peeled on someone that draws out all your focus.

Take one of my earlier inductions for example, I had an eye fixation induction (I’ll link it at the end of this post if you’re curious about it) where I used the idea of a staring contest to create this domino effect for the reader that had them pitting their need to fall against their competitiveness to create this distracting dynamic that only accented the trance itself.

Eyes can really be used in a multitude of ways if you think about it, really.

Not only can eyes provide a dominant or submissive look into someone’s soul, eyes tell a story about the person you’re interacting with.

When you look into someone’s eyes, you can really feel their world blurring into yours for a moment.

Their emotions, their passions, even thoughts if you know what signs to look for.

Dominants use eyes a lot to portray authority and power over others, and it’s why it’s such a useful tool in hypnosis!

That power can be used to accentuate a trance themed around dominance or power, creating that initial submissiveness that leads forwards throughout the session.

Plus, eyes naturally reflect light extensively, so they’re naturally distracting on people, and makeup or face paint can help push these ideas further!

It can create illusions or subconscious visuals that help draw a potential victim into your eyes through the patterns that bring their attention to your gaze.

There’s a reason why people say that the eyes are the window to the soul!

Anyways, if I come up with more to add I’ll probably make another short ramble. Thanks for reading and stay cool!

#hypnosis #hypnotism #brainwashing #mind conditioning #mind control #brain drain #hypnotized #covert hypnosis #hypnok1nk #hypnosub #hypno rambles

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conkorse · 1 month

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Can I ask how you pick your colors? I'm very fascinated by it and how well it works with your style

sure i will try my best 2 explain !!! >_<

typically i start drawing my main subjects on a grey colored background. this makes it so my color range is alot larger than if i sketched and colored on a white/lighter background because the colors that surround your piece will affect how they are perceived. i will attach an example below:

as you can see the drawing on the left (which is a wip i havent posted this drawing yet lulz) heavys skintone changes to match the context of the colors in the background which when you compare that bg to the bg on the right it is much darker in comparison. i also simply wanted to play around with colors coz i try not to restrict myself in any capacity. coloring is the most fun part of drawing to me and part of that fun comes from imposing zero limitations on myself which is why alot of my art has the most stupid ass color combinations u will eva see #live #laf #lov

this is what my drawings typically look like once i finish the actual main subject of the piece as you can see scout n pyro are in a grey void gidbles them. i typically do backgrounds last (which is something i should prbably change up sometime soon) because i tend to create them around the main drawing and it makes it easier for me to make everything more cohesive in the end because i can make the background however i want to fit the main drawing. i do not recommend doing this 24/7 becoz then u will struggle with environmental backgrounds/perspective shit and other stuff which is something i want to get better at but struggle with alot hashtag supaaa mega sad hashtag noob lyfeee

as for coloring itself and choosing colors its really just a combination of experimentation (and by that i mean i go through so much of the color wheel before i decide on something) and intuition. i already have an idea of what looks good together well in mind because well ive spent quite alot of time fine tuning ermmm idk what 2 call it i guess my color sense ??? hallppp but anyways i really recommend not just using bright/neon colors exclusively! the best way to make colors pop is to couple them with more muted ones so the contrast is better evident btwn the two. OH ANDD i tend to try not to use straight up black and white/grey to portray those colors. for example if a character has ermm lets say a white shirt i wont use white or grey colors to depict it but rather maybe a light cyan orrr yellowy green :p

i also overuse textured brushes and patterns in my art alortttt (see abovee) HALP so maybe try that??? i use clip studio paint and there are so many rly awesome textured brushes that i overuse coz they r SUPAAAA epik. IDK im just rambling but your biggest take away from this should be to GO EXPERIMENT!!!!!!!!!!!!! and have fun anddddd mix "ugly" colors 2gether coz u just can never know what will and wont work unless u try :33

ALSO I ALMOST FORGOT play around with this feature in csp if u have it coz its another way i create textures (my heavy mii shown as an example) and here is a link to a tumblr post where i link all of the brushes i use in csp 0 .o I HOPE THIS HELPS SOMEWHAT!!!!!!!!! SOZZZ I AM NOT THE BEST AT EXPLANING >_<

#conk talk #if theres grammar errors PLZ ignore them EEEKK!!!! ill fix it l8rrrr

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bluegekk0 · 3 months

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What happened to the Void? With the Shade Lord destroyed, is the entire Void just gone?

What’s the Abyss like without the Void then?

I don't think it's fully gone, there is still some of it at the very bottom of the Abyss. But there is less of it, and all of the shades are gone, so it is significantly more empty. The Abyss itself is definitely easier and safer to navigate if you were to climb down, though it's still not a good idea. The void sea may be more shallow, but it can still lash out at anyone who isn't careful and attack them with void tendrils. The biggest difference is the significantly smaller amount of void particles in the air, as well as quieter ambience.

Most of the void that formed The Shade Lord was the vessel shades and all the surface void that crept up towards the Abyss entrance, so the pools of "liquid" void still remain, albeit more shallow. I think void itself is native to that area, perhaps it is actually a substance of natural origin that somehow mutated into what we know as the void. If there was in fact a civilization down below in the past, maybe they somehow utilized the void to build their kingdom, before realizing how destructive the substance was and perishing.

---

Hijacking the ask but I'm feeling inspired again, so below is a possibly incoherent, long AU worldbuilding ramble about the origin of the gods and their nature:

---

If the above mentioned is how The Shade Lord was created, from a natural substance or some kind of force that mutated into a god-like being, perhaps that is also how the other gods were born (or at least the ancestors of those gods we know now).

For example, I mentioned in a previous ask (here) that both the dream essence and the nightmare essence/flame (in my AU at least), when out of control, act in a way similar to a virus or a parasite. And seeing how long-term contact with pure void can cause death, the similarities are certainly there.

Then there is also Lifeblood, which could be connected to a god, and also has a significant effect on the body (perhaps it can be lethal in large doses, like some kind of drug-like substance?).

WL (in my interpretation) can detect and drain life force, which reminds me of some parasitic plants that drain nutrition from other plants, or even parasitic fungi that feed on living organisms.

Unn is a tricky one, but since the acid in Greenpath seems to be of natural origins, it would be a similar situation to the void and The Shade Lord (mutated from a natural substance). Unn seems to be immune to the acidic pools, so it's not far fetched to assume that she is somehow connected to it.

What I'm getting at here, is that all the gods, at least those in Hallownest, but maybe all of them, might have originated from mutated forces of nature.

---

I imagine there would be two categories: the virus/parasite origin and the natural substance origin. I will skip Lifeblood here since the existence of a god connected to it speculative, but if it does exist, I think it would fit into the second category.

The Radiance and Grimm's ancestors (The Dream Lord and other beings connected to dreams that came before him) could have evolved from some kind of parasite or virus that targets the brain, causing dreams and nightmares, and when out of control, it takes over the mind and manifests physically (the infection being a primary example). WL and her ancestors might have originated as parasitic plant-like organisms, or perhaps some kind of parasitic fungi (look up the Niveomyces coronatus fungus and compare it to WL's roots, the resemblance is definitely there).

Then there is The Shade Lord and Unn. The first Shade Lord is a being born of the void, which by itself is a substance which occurs naturally in the lowest depths of the Hallownest area. Unn's ancestors may have originated from the acid pools that occur in areas such as Greenpath, which explains why she's completely immune to it.

All of this happened thousands, if not millions of years ago. By the time the events of the AU take place, the descendants of those mutated beings have evolved into gods, are able to transcend beyond the physical world into the higher plane, and possess unlimited power, but at their core they still connect to their origins. The Radiance's dream essence and Grimm's nightmare essence invade the brain causing dreams and nightmares (and an infection like disease in extreme cases), The Shade Lord possesses the same traits as the void it originated from, WL can drain life force of other beings just like a parasitic plant/fungus would, while Unn is immune to the acid, and perhaps has other abilities that we haven't seen which could further connect to it.

There is also the topic of soul, but since I imagine WL uses soul magic, and it's present in living organisms, it's possible that her ancestors somehow learned to use it for powerful spells. Which would explain why FPK was able to find lore tablets that taught him to focus it and sustain himself on it, something that WL is able to do naturally.

I don't know if this makes sense, I will very likely still brainstorm this idea further, but I really like it so far. Having some kind of common theme for worldbuilding is great, and once I polish this up, it would be a great base for creating more god characters if I ever feel like expanding the pantheon.

#ask stuff #feral pk au #au worldbuilding #save #radiance #grimm #shade lord #wl #unn #gods

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boboteam89 · 4 months

Text

This may contain Saha and Rebirth arc spoilers as well as the Day of Transcending Finality arc, read w caution!

This is a very sudden thing to post at 3am but am I the only one to genuinely feel surprised when people say that Senti's writing is "nulled down to a point of comedy relief"? There is a clear difference between just a comedy relief character who has no specific lore or traits, worries assigned to them / their lore is completely ignored in the story, and a character who is a comedy relief one BUT they still have unique traits and even worries shown throughout their actions and words. And Senti is EXACTLY that.

Take even the Saha and Rebirth arc. God did she make some of the moments in the chapter the funniest (but damn it was so needed throughout all the stress built up tbh) and not to mention the fact just how much of an impact she made on the story. Sure, she may not have done something outright crazy good, but as some examples :

She DID help with the connecting the anchor points bullshit, SHE was the one to actually head-on transfer Vita to her sentience space and launch a technical counter-attack on her, ALSO delaying Vita??? Sure it may not have changed that much but the fact itself?? Also the fact that she was the one to comfort Veliona when she was worried about Selee even willing to go to such lenghts as telling her the technical "limit" of sentience?

And if we talk about worries, do you not also see through the fact that she is genuinely worried about Hua during the arc? The fact that she pretends not to care yet she still helps others throughout the arc? And are we NOT going to talk about the moment when she technically finally got her own body? I think it's goddamn UNDERAPPRECIATED because she had been dealing with an existential crisis for so long, and despite not seeming to care as much anymore and moving on, she still had an internal conflict as literally described in the chapter. With herself. There has been a lot of metaphors and it's so mind blowing. And I quote :

You saw "you" being eaten away by the void that symbolized death. You saw "your" efforts destroyed by the light that obliterated all things. You saw "you" sunk into the darkness untill you heard rain.

Then who am "I" now?

End quote.

Is that not literal self conflict to you?? It is both describing the process of technical "revival" from Selee's power, AND Senti's conflicting thoughts. This was such a big moment to me that I almost cried?? And YET

She still made the arc funny, she still had a lot of moments where her comedic side shined, god there is even something funny about being so self-righteous and (although only seemingly, sometimes) sure of herself. Even during the fighting. Even during the explanation of all the difficult stuff from the arc. Even the "all hail the Herrscher of Sentience!" moment. Yet this arc balances all the worries and topics of hers pretty much perfectly.

That is without even covering THE FINALITY ARC which honestly the fight with Kiana LITERALLY speaks for itself, girl had so much piled up on her mind since that battle methinks. And we won't even mention the Kevin fight and just HOW MUCH she helped and to WHAT LENGHTS she would go. The talk they had during AND AFTER the fight is so. How could you ignore it. She def wasn't just a comedy relief in that arc despite still being VERY funny here and there.

And I am not going to talk about how she manages to seem to have worries even in the goofy shenzhou spring festival, with basically her just wanting recognition but ending up in a misunderstanding and then giving everyone a chance to enjoy a good festival, although it might seem like a far strectch which I would aggree on.

But yeah. I had to ramble. Thanks to anyone who decided to read this! Feel free to share any thoughts or correct me <3

#honkai impact 3rd #herrscher of sentience #senti #ramblings

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littlelesbinonny · 4 months

Text

The Devil's Den

Chapter 38: In Which The Daylight Is Fading

You can read this also on Ao3 at: https://archiveofourown.org/works/46831621/chapters/117962293

::!TW!:: *brief depictions of blood/gore*

There was still a hint of the sunset radiating in through the stained glass of the church and Alcina winced at the tinge of pain in her bones that came with it. At least it would be gone soon, but truly she had something much more pressing to deal with than that of the setting sun. Still, the haunting color of the darkening amber to red was ominous.

A coldness set in as she had followed the priest with haste; hope beyond hope, she was sickeningly praying to any God that may exist that she wasn't about to walk into what she thought she was.

But she did.

A mutant had been here.

At her very doorstep. It had made itself known.

But how many? One? A handful? A hundred?

A boiling rage and fear began to pour down her spine; a thousand and one thoughts slamming to the front of her mind while she look upon this mangled human.

This boy the priest had so hysterically been crying over was splayed out on the ground in a large, spattered pool of blood and entrails. His flesh was torn apart from his face to his belly. His skull was visible through the damage as was his ribcage. If she hadn't known better she would have guessed a tiger had escaped a local zoo. She shuddered internally as flashbacks of her own altercation raced through.

He lay near the deacon common hall doorway near the exit she so often took to escape into the human world, an easy location for this attack to happen; the predator would take no notice until the deed was done and scatter off in the blink of an eye.

Father Sullivan was there, as were two other priests, a deacon, and now Alcina, three of her men, and the priest who'd come to fetch her.

The humans were pale as death; sickened to their stomachs as they were not used to the sight nor the smell of a freshly carved up body. The rank, metallic smell of blood affected the vampires in a very different way than it did the clergymen, but this was more than a somber, disturbing manner.

The men stared at Alcina and her men with blank faces. Pure shock. Sprouting anger, perhaps, and utter disbelief this was taking place. Alcina and her men were no better; blank stares, void of visible reaction.

"Send for Donna," she whispered over her shoulder to the vampire on her left, "immediately."

He left in a blink.

"W-what h-have you to say for yourself?" Father Sullivan finally uttered, his tone drenched in a whisper that bore the depths of pure hatred masking the fear, keeping any semblance of power he was desperately grasping for.

"That the enemy that slaughtered this boy is also ours, Father. Be careful with your quick judgements; don't you teach at great lengths about that?"

"H-he had just turned 17!"

The priest holding the most upset about the situation chimed in again, breaking the stare-down between Alcina and Father Sullivan.

"What are we going to tell his mother?"

He droned, kneeling next to the body, his mannerisms in a fit just as much as his rambling.

"H-how?! How can this be?"

His eyes darted back to Alcina, his lips twisting into rage as he clenched his fists; "you don't have enemies! Vampires have no enemies - you lie! You lie through your sharp teeth of death!" he rose haphazardly, his sight never leaving the vampires before him, "y-you devils - evil - pure evil! The church's alliance with you has never made sense to me! I knew - I knew! Something was going to happen - none of you can be trusted - how can the House of God make deals with the Devil Incarnates!?"

"Father Archer!" Father Sullivan shouted, "enough!"

"No, no! I won't be silent! I won't - I have to say my piece! God would not have us -"

Father Archer was silenced as Alcina, quicker than their sight, grabbed him by the neck, hoisted him into the air and slammed him into the neighboring stone threshold.

She bore her teeth, scowling detested, silencing him with not only her dangerous visage but her strong grip around his throat.

"The mutant beast who did this, the one you so vehemently brand to belong to us, is not of our sect!" she spat, "I'll have you keep your bullshit behind your lips or I'll take your tongue with gladness! You know nothing of what you speak and I'll prefer your silence to your barrage of misinformed prejudice! And if it comes down to tit for tat, Father Archer - I - and my vampires, my lycans, have kept your pitiful little church and all your people safe for centuries which you should be ever so fucking grateful! You all live so freely above us with no returned services but the use of your church to the entrance of your world. Do you really think to be so much better than us you could evoke smite to the underworld with your pitiful excuse of self-righteousness?!"

"Please!" Father Sullivan interrupted, fitful and bothered, "please, can we stop this?!"

Alcina held her gaze at the kicking, struggling, crumpled-face priest in her grasp as she silently heeded Father Sullivan's request. She was about to lower him when she felt a presence that froze her solid. A presence she never, ever, in a million years that could be her existence, wanted to feel lingering near the doorway to her right.

No.

You took Monday off from work because, well, you were far too preoccupied with magick than sitting at a fucking desk for eight hours.

Your crow family had not left your balcony all day as you sat in your room alternating from your bean bag chair to your bed, reading and practicing, mindfully staring out your balcony doors, and pondering the entire earthquake that had reshaped your entire life. Whenever you grabbed yourself a snack, which was becoming more and more frequent as you worked up such an appetite while you practiced your magick, you shared with your crows each time. They cooed and purred and made all sorts of sweet noises each time you came out. If it weren't cold outside you'd leave your door open and see if they'd wander in. But, they seemed content to be where they were and you couldn't help but smile every time you looked up to find them there.

The vampire memoire, as you were beginning to call it, was full of so much information. The further you got into it, it started to give way to information on vague locations of vampire covens all over Europe, Africa, Asia, and now North America. Not to your surprise, it mentioned the covens in New York, right under your feet. Nothing was terribly revealing, as the author of course was much too smart for that, but it mentioned the the Basilica of Saint Patrick's Olde Cathedral not far from you. That piqued your interest greatly and you decided to pay it a visit later today.

This book also went into decent detail about how the truce and coexistence between vampires and the church began. There had been a stalemate take place in Romania; a vicious, bloody battle was waged in a village between a large coven of vampires and a church back in the 1600's. Eventually only one priest and one vampire were left. They both lay nearly at death with each other in the demolished courtyard after the bloodshed, and agreed that their kind could benefit each other if they could come to an agreement, otherwise they'd wipe the other off the face of the earth, and in the end was it worth it? The priest allowed the vampire to feed from him which revived the vampire, the vampire took the dying priest and bled him, turning him into one of them to solidify the truce. Then the two of them approached the neighboring churches to explain what they had done and to plead their case. It had been a compelling argument and the church, and vampires, agreed to cohabitate. The vampires promised to never attack and kill anymore clergy, and to protect the churches from any enemy, lycans mainly, that might attack, and the church offered dark safe havens for the vampires to dwell in during the day, and allowed entrances from covens underground passage into the human world peacefully.

Crazy shit what goes on in the world and no one knows the wiser.

You assumed that Saint Patrick's Cathedral must be one of the many entrances to the human world for the underworld. Who knew how many times Alcina used that very church to come see you, the thought made you smile.

When you bundled up and left your apartment to go find something to eat late afternoon, your crows loyally followed you overhead. Sometimes they'd swoop down to hop along a high stone fence you trekked along, cooing and cawing and otherwise making you grin from ear to ear gaining you off-hand looks from the other passerby's. You didn't care. You were a magickal creature, of some sort, with your own little army of crows and they were boring, plain old humans - they could suck it.

The evening was becoming beautiful. The breeze had stopped, which made the otherwise biting cold now very bearable, though you almost perfected the warming bubble you'd used on the plant and you weren't so bothered by the cold so much anymore. And now you were off on your last adventure for the day after a wonderful warm dinner.

'Careful.'

You heard as you walked through the dispersing and meandering crowds on the sidewalk.

'Careful.'

It came again several strides later.

You couldn't help but look around you, seeing if someone was speaking to you directly or if you were simply hearing a passing conversation. But nothing.

Ebony and the rest were hopping along the fence as they had been and you brushed it off, taking another turn down a block to the cathedral.

'Careful!'

The warning came in louder this time, almost inside of your head and you looked up to find all six of your crows were huddled much closer together and now taking to the sky above you. Setting your sights back on your path you began to wonder if this was not the same voice you'd heard when you named them all, that resounding, yet soft, 'yes' reply was eerily similar to you.

Not yet a handful of buildings away from the stone wall to Saint Patrick's, you were suddenly being bombarded by your crows. They were dashing in front of you, blocking your path, cawing at you, almost colliding with you as you ducked.

"What the hell! Quit!" you halted and merged yourself to the fence beside you, watching their strange behavior with apprehension.

Then once more; Careful - Careful! Careful! C-careful! Careful, careful! Careful! C-careful!

And then they were gone.

What the literal fuck? You thought as you watched them scatter to the sky and fly down the street, taking a very sharp turn towards the basilica and disappearing.

Suddenly you were very still and silent, feeling the wave of sharp uncertainty takes it purchase in your heart for a long moment.

Were your crows... warning you?

So you had heard Ebony speak that day, just as you had heard them now, plain as day.

While you were in excited disbelief to think they could possibly telepathically communicate with you, you were still pretty shaken by their upset. What on earth had made them act in such a way?

Against your better judgement, you continued on and found yourself at the entrance to the large, beautifully ornate Saint Patrick's Old Cathedral.

It looked welcoming, a thing you never really experienced from a church. And perhaps that was because you associated it with your Lady of the Night, her kind, her easy ability to come see you from such a close distance because of this building, right here.

As you walked slowly along the well kept black iron fence to search for a possible opening for you to enter and explore, you noticed the large forest green door that you assumed lead into a courtyard of sorts, was open. Everything was locked up tight, so it shouldn't have been, should it? And from there you could heard what sounded like shouting.

Without much real control of your own, your feet took you through the threshold, almost ignoring the beautiful large trees and dead grass of the courtyard, and found you were being drawn to a warm amber light spilling out from another open door where the voices had gotten sharper and louder, and then silent all together.

You were not prepared for the sight that met you.

And you were unsure what you saw or comprehended first.

The pool of blood. The absolutely mangled body in it. A clergyman standing there, still as a statue. Or Alcina, holding up another clergyman by his throat against a doorway, her white turtleneck covered in blood.

Like a magnetic pull, her eyes were drawn to yours and your sights locked.

It was palpably disconcerting.

No.

No, this couldn't be.

Her lips seemed to move as if uttering your name breathlessly, the look on her face twisting between emotions you couldn't decern. And you just stared.

Surely she had not done this, surely this was not what it looked like. It didn't make sense. This didn't make sense. You were caught in a time loop where the same phrases continued to replay causing a spinning hectic argument within your heart and mind.

No. No.

The bickering became so loud you began to stagger away. You couldn't think, you could only move, and moving you were. Quickly.

She couldn't have done that. She wouldn't have done that. Alcina isn't a mindless brutal killer. This isn't right - this isn't right!

Had blood-rage taken her over like it had the other night in my apartment? Had she snapped unwillingly and someone unfortunately got in the way? Had she lost control?

No! No!

You couldn't stop the barrage of thoughts and you began to run.

You weren't sold on what you were hearing, but it sounded like Alcina was calling after you, and though it was getting closer it sounded so far away.

You knew her. You knew her. There's no way she had done that. She was a protector; a woman you loved so deeply; a woman who had never hurt you even though she had more than enough capability. She hadn't done it.

So why couldn't you stop running?

The cacophony in your head nearly had you screaming for silence as you slammed your door behind you, slumping into it letting the cool of the steel chill your overheated face. You don't even remember getting to your apartment. You don't remember flying up the hundred stairs since you couldn't wait for the elevator.

Once more you heard your name and you spun but kept your back flat against the door.

In the darkness of your hallway was a familiar silhouette that would normally make your heart sputter with glee, but this time it was fear and complete uncertainty and you hated that almost more than the thought of Alcina being part of whatever the fuck you walked in on.

Alcina was apprehensive as hell, panicked at the whole of this situation, dreading this moment with fervor.

"Please," she said softly and as calmly as she could, "please, just listen to me before -"

"Did you have something to do with that?" you blurted, anxious and uneasy, letting the demon of blame take hold.

Alcina halted in her approach giving you the space you were silently demanding, twisting a painful dagger in her chest.

"Were you involved with whoever was slaughtered in there?" you asked sharply.

"You weren't meant to see that -"

"No fucking shit?! You think?! Did you? Did you?"

You were so overwhelmed.

Alcina was overwhelmed. Maintaining it much better than you were.

She had to take pause and a long breath in and out as she tried so hard to figure out how to navigate this conversation. You had every right to be upset and confused and blame her for what you saw. Which you never should have. The fates were playing cruel tricks on her in a time she absolutely did not need them. You were never supposed to see that! Why were you there to begin with?! Of course you were going to have a thousand questions, questions she couldn't answer. She couldn't tell you what you rightfully needed to know, not yet, not now, it was all too much.

"Of course I didn't!" Alcina finally barked, not so much at you but at how annoyed she was at this fucking situation.

You could see how she was trying to hide her despondence. It gave you a little hope of your own that you were, in fact, overreacting. But then, were you really?

"I know you are hell bent to keep what happens underground a secret from me, which ok, fine, but it seems like it's no longer under the ground and I think you owe me a goddamn explanation."

"Draga mea, I -"

"No, no, don't you draga mea me right now - I am - upset, I'm scared, I'm - wanting that scene expunged from my motherfucking brain!" you blurted as you walked into your living room.

Turning halfway there, you looked to her. She was still so eerily beautiful even though she was covered in blood and it made you angry. You wanted to just fall in her arms and forget everything but that was not happening.

After another bloated pause, realizing she wasn't going to offer up anything, you flopped your arms at your sides, "I want to know what is going on."

Alcina's visage turned hard, her breaths apparent as she took her time to keep calm, "I cannot tell you that."

"Is this another one of those won't's disguised as a can't?"

"For fuck sake draga mea!" she replied as her hands flew into the air, her eyes showing a most unusual form of defeat, "You must understand it's not out a spite for your asking! There are simply things I just cannot and will not tell you right now! Telling you will implicate you in a danger I refuse to push you any closer to!"

"So I am in danger?" you shot back.

"You certainly could be."

"But that's not something you thought might be good for me to know?"

Alcina took a visibly steadying breath, lowering her hands at her side as her fists clenched slightly, "you're already too close to this than I ever wanted you to be, draga, I am trying to protect you."

You huffed, trying yourself to calm your unrest, "did it ever occur to you that maybe what I need is for you to be truthful and open and honest with me? To, I don't know, not leave me in the dark and instead fill me in on some threat that might be lurking around the corner when you're not here? What am I supposed to do if you're not here and I walk into this blindly?"

Oh you were infuriating. You weren't allowed to counter such a valid argument when she clearly wasn't prepared and not in a place to tackle this right now. She had so much on her plate as it was and this was going to send her overboard.

"Draga please, I just need you to trust me!" she pleaded as she reached the end of her rope.

"It's not so much about trusting you Alcina! I'm absolutely petrified of not knowing what to expect now. Why can't you just tell me what the fuck I might be facing so I can defend myself?"

Alcina's face dropped and she stepped towards you, reaching for your shoulders and gently taking them in her grasp, "don't be absurd," she nearly whispered, her eyes dark and stern, "you absolutely could not defend yourself against it..." the look on her face growing more severe, "do you remember what I looked like when I came back to you many months ago? Do you remember the scars, the gashes, the wounds that should have healed through me with ease? Do you?" she asked harshly, "I nearly died, draga mea... I was almost killed. You are no match for this foe, that I know for certain. This is why I need you to trust me. Please, please leave this be!"

You swallowed involuntarily, feeling the unease getting worse as she spoke. Of course you remember. Your blood was what healed them.

"And do you remember what healed you?" you questioned right back, your palms now resting on her forearms, "I healed you. Which is something I want to talk to you about very soon... I'm... changing. Drastically. I still don't know how or what, and neither does Malka, but -"

"Who the fuck is Malka?" Alcina asked briskly, releasing her grip on your shoulders as her jealousy shot through her veins, a lesser of her finer attributes.

Oh boy.

"Uh, she, she's an older lady I've known for years. She's been helping me - she's a Jewish Mystic - "

"What?"

The spikey energy prickling off Alcina made you throw your hands up and you stepped back, rubbing your face as you paced a few times through your groans, "she is not what we're talking about right now! We're talking about me!" you relented, facing her once again, "please! Alcina... please, I need you, I need you and your guidance and support now more than ever. I'm so scared about so many things that I currently, at this very point in time, am so beside myself I do not know what to do... please... I will trust you, if you'll please just give me a little in return. Please."

Alcina felt her heart sputter, and not in a good way. That look in your eyes, that pleading uncertainty made her wince.

She approached you again and took your jaws in her cool, soft grasp, "I... tomorrow I will come back to you and we will talk," Alcina spoke softly, "I promise. I will listen to you. And I will tell you more."

You nearly melted into her touch as she caressed a loose piece of hair from your face, that familiar visage of the caring, nurturing, loving woman you need so much returning giving you some semblance of peace.

"For now I must return to what I left. Please, I want you to stay put, stay here, don't leave at night if you can help it, not until I return to you, alright?"

Your nod was a little hesitant, "o-ok... I won't."

"I love you draga mea, more than I think you understand. Please keep yourself safe."

"I love you too... you stay safe too, ok?"

She nodded and leaned to kiss you, pressing her lips reverently to yours, breathing you in, savoring the last it of silence she would have for a great while she was sure. Alcina still held your face as she pulled away, burning the image of you into her memory, the fear still lingering in the pit of her stomach making her uneasy.

"I must go."

Her parting left you cold and unsure. Something still didn't feel right. Not at all.

You grabbed your phone and dialed.

"... Malka?"

"Ketzeleh! ...what is wrong?"

"I uh, I need to see you, I need your help."

#alcina dimitrescu #alcina dimitrescu/female reader #alcina dimitrescu/original female character #alcina dimitrescu/reader #lesbian #f/f #fanfic #wlw #fic #donna beneviento #blood #gore #tw blood #tw gore

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