#whether new or old/rotating

[bblookyyy]

so. I’ve been rewatching osomatsu san and im sure you can tell who my favourite matsuno is

#my art #osomatsu san #karamatsu #I wanna mention that out of all my obsessions #whether new or old/rotating #ososan is consistently one of the ones at the top #along with aph hetalia #and dcmk (detective conan magic kaito) #aside from rewatching oso san I’ve actually also been binging dcmk #sorry I meant case closed only #I started a while back but then exams happened now I’m picking it back up and I’m at around uhh #episode 250 #which is why there’s been a decrease of homestuck art LOL #in my personal tier list of fandoms under oso san aph and dcmk are bnha and kny #honorable mentions saiki k and nichijou #love love love the animes but i don’t participate in the fandom #recent ones are genshin (since 1.1) and well #homestuck duh #and a conflicting one is dsmp lol #I drew SO MUCH dsmp like what even- but like. I don’t miss it either yknow #and undertale actually grr one way or another I always go back to obsessing over sans and timelines and AUs #rei just talking #but in the tags lol

[sagechanoafterdark]

Shoot Your Shot, Cupid

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x reader Word Count: 3,770 Warnings: mature language, unbeata'd, soft Bucky, lets assume Sam set him up for this one, female coded reader, happy ending because we all deserve it, TIME SKIIIIIP, best friend with good intentions that shows up for one job and then disappears, speed dating, one obnoxious man, all the soft feelings.

Hello Kittens, and Happy Valentine's Day. It's been a while since I wrote... well anything and I was working on this for a couple of months but I think it's come all together now. Hope you enjoy it!

This couldn’t get much worse.

Tricked by your best friend.

Nay, betrayed.  

By someone you implicitly trusted.

There would be no forgiving this.

Never, not ever.

The dinner and drinks invitation a few days before the start of February was met with trepidation on your part. All Christmas season you’d feigned interest as Mellony, your best friend, thrust every single co-worker, neighbor, and wait staff at you to find you someone to share the holiday with.

You couldn’t blame her. After all, Mellony was blissfully happy with her fiancée and only wanted the same for you.

All that you could forgive.

But this?

This was a complete and utter betrayal.

A deep and unimpressed frown marred your face as Mellony took the sticky name tag off the table with her perfectly manicured nails. Peeling the back with an ear-to-ear grin and pressed it against your chest. “There,” she exclaimed with joy, lacing her fingers together. “Now you’re all set.”

Looking down at the beautifully scrawled letters framed by little hearts you couldn’t help but curl your lip and whine, “Mel, you promised.”

The blond snorted and rolled her enormous puppy dog eyes, “I never promised anything.” Looping her arm through yours she practically began to drag you through the convention center doors and past the sign that sealed your fate.

Cupids Bow Speed Dating Event.

“Yes, you did,” you reaffirmed. Glancing around the room packed full of men and women in a combination of sweaters, suits, and cocktail dresses. “You promised not to try and set me up with anyone again.”

“This is my speed dating event. It doesn’t count.”

“I can assure you it does.”

“Nooooo,” she practically sang, turning around on her heel with that adorable mischievous smile of hers. “I promised that I wouldn’t set you up with anyone I knew. Everyone here was vetted by my team. I don't know any of these people.”

Grumbling she began tugging you towards the stage as intro music began to play softly from the DJ booth. Mellony paused, gripping your hand tight and looking down at you as the DJ introduced her, “Please, stay? I just want you to find someone.”

“Mel,” you hissed with disapproval. “I don’t need to find someone.”

Whether or not she heard you was unclear as the music swelled and Mellony put on her famous razzle dazzle smile and waved at everyone as she took the microphone and the presentation began. Your eyes swung to the crowd of people, more than three dozen people silhouetted against the stage lights and it made you shiver.

This was going to be a disaster.

Twenty minutes later your mind was glazed over with the audacity of men.

With every new ding of the bell, you found yourself becoming more annoyed. The match-making event progressed easily. People were divided into groups based on results from a questionnaire, something you distinctly remember Mel presenting to you as a fun Cosmo quiz, while one group remained seated the others rotated around the room.

By some stroke of luck, you were one of the people destined to sit. But that also meant that total strangers would be coming to your table to chat with you.

In all your years of singledom,  you’d thought you’d heard it all. Too fat. Too loud. Too smart. Too opinionated. Those were old hat by now, and you weren’t immune to the bitter words from unimportant people.

“I suppose you’re an attractive woman,” the suit across from you said thoughtfully. His eyes never met yours, instead looking around the room likely for the next victim of his charm. “But I’m not really into your hair color. How would you feel about dying it?”

The question hung in the air as you waited for the man to look back at you. When his beady eyes returned to your face you couldn’t hide the disbelief, waving your hand in the air with an icy finality, “Absolutely not. You can go.”

He didn’t wait. Standing so quickly the chair scraped against the floor as he haughtily walked towards the bar. You couldn’t help but roll your eyes as you pulled out your phone and began to scroll social media waiting for the next bell in fifteen minutes.

Not the wildest thing you’d ever heard, but the gall of some people astounded even you sometimes. This also wasn’t the first event you’d been to that Mel had put on, you’d come to one or two as she’d begun her match-making service so you knew the ins and outs pretty well. But getting the same questions over and over was getting old fast.

What do you do for a living?

Where are you from?

What’s your family like?

What’s your perfect date idea?

BOR-ING!

Just once you’d like someone to ask you a real question, something thoughtful instead of the surface questions you’d find on social media.

You couldn’t believe you wore your favorite dress for this nonsense.

The bell dinged once again and the shadow of a new man sat in front of you.

“Hi.”

“Hello,” you said not looking up from the device in your hand.

“Come here often?”

“To a dating event? No,” the words were flowing out of your mouth easily. Canned responses for canned questions.

There was a heavy pause, “You seem bored.”

“That’s because I am.”

A muted scoff came from the other side of the table, “What would make it more interesting then?”

A long sigh escaped you as you continued scrolling on your phone, “If someone would ask me a question of substance, maybe I would give them a chance for conversation.”

Again a long stretching silence from the other side and you had to resist rolling your eyes.

“Alright,” he rumbled, leaning back against his chair. “Then what’s one gift you always wish you’d gotten, but never did?”

That had your thumb pausing on the endless scrolling you were doing. Finally, your gaze flicked up and your brain stopped working for a brief moment as you took in the disgustingly attractive man sitting your opposite.

Coffee color hair, and a chiseled jaw dotted with a five o’clock shadow would be enough to make even the most choosy of a woman’s breath catch. He was wearing a bulky leather jacket in a building that was pushing 80 degrees, which was odd but not overly strange.

But oddly enough you felt yourself getting drawn in. Not by his cheekbones, the cut of his jaw, the dimple in his chin, or even the semi-scowl he wore.

No, it was his eyes. Bright blue soulful eyes, that sparkled a little as he sat across the table from you. Eyes that told a story all their own and drew you out of your scrolling for the first time that night.

Pursing your lips slightly you thought, “Hmm, I’d have to say it’s a puppy.”

His eyebrow arched slightly, clearly surprised by your answer, “A puppy?”

“Sure,” you said with a slight shrug. “A puppy is something I’ve always wanted but never gotten as a gift from anyone other than myself.”

“What kind of puppy?”

“Oh I don’t have a preferred breed,” you informed, tilting your head a little at the odd conversation. “But as a child, it was what I asked for every year as a present. But I never got one.”

His lips turned up in a half smile and you thought you were going to melt in your seat, “Asking for one every year and not getting one, sounds a little disappointing. Was that just a Christmas thing?”

“Nah,” you laughed a little, fingers picking at a little piece of lint on the edge of your dress. “Christmas, birthdays, Easter didn’t matter. If gifts were being given, it was at the top of my list. Every year I’d be running to the tree and picking up presents, looking for one big enough. It’s a running joke with my friends that I’d marry the first man to give me a puppy for Christmas.”

A brisk laugh escaped him, his lips pulled into a charming smile that had nervous butterflies leap up in your chest. “A puppy for Christmas,” he rumbled thoughtfully. “I’ll have to remember that.”

The response made goosebumps prickle along your skin and you held back a shiver, wetting your suddenly dry lips, “What about you?”

“What about me?”

“What’s a gift you always wanted but didn’t get,” you paused briefly a coy smile stretching your lips.

His smile turned into a smirk as he once again leaned back in his chair, blue eyes darting back and forth over your face as he thought about it. It was going well, your impish smile growing along with his own. That is until his smile began to fall, bright blue gaze darting a little more frantically over your face before he licked his lips and an unexpected tremor sounded in his voice, “I think, I think it was a sled.”

“A sled,” you asked, leaning forward a little in intrigue. “Like a big plastic one with the handles? Oh no, I got it you’re definitely an inflatable snow tube kind of guy.”

A balk of laughter sounded from him, making hidden laugh lines appear at the corner of his eyes as they brightened with your playful banter. “Nah,” he exclaimed, waving a hand. “More like a wood and metal one. It had bright red skis and a wooden seat top. That sled was all I wanted as a kid.”

An amused giggle slipped from you, “I had a wagon kind of like that as a kid, it was a radio flyer.”

His fingers snapped as he pointed at you with a little bit of excitement, “That’s it! A Radio Flyer sled, with a rope handle and foot steering bar. Though I don’t think I’d ever get one now. I’m a little too old to go sledding down a hill.”

“Age is all about perspective.”

He snorted, “Tell that to my driver's license.”

Genuine laughter bubbled up from inside of you as you leaned forward in your seat, a teasing retort on your lips. Before you could speak, Mellony rang her little handbell and people began to switch places again. But your blue-eyed stranger lingered at your table.

“Talk to you again?”

He sounded, hopeful. “Yeah,” you croaked out pathetically. “Talk to you again.”

You watched as he stood from your table and made his way across the room to his next table while another man took his place at your own. A feeling of disappointment swelled as you lost sight of him in the crowd of people, the feeling intensifying as this new man briefly introduced themselves before launching into a long Tinder-level introduction.

Two more men sat at your table, barely holding your interest outside of normal pleasantries before Mel rang her handbell in rapid succession. “Alright everyone that’s the first round,” she called from her place at the podium. “We’re going to break for thirty minutes. There are hors d'oeuvres and refreshments at the bar. Please feel free to mingle!”

The room of people began to stand and mill around as an uproar of chatter began. Your eyes picked out a couple of men from your group, pairing up with others and heading to the bar. Cordial smiles turned into pleasant touches and sweetheart eyes as they went.

The Cupids Bow Dating Event was a success and you couldn’t help but feel the swell of pride for your friend.

“Hey, Sourpuss,” Melody greeted, looping her arm through yours. “You having fun yet?”

Your mind drifted back to your blue-eyed stranger, “A little.”

“Well, I don’t know if you know this. But the point of speed dating is to, you know, find a date. I was watching you, and you gotta talk to more than one person,” she sassed.

Your mouth turned down to a frown for a brief moment, “I talked to someone.”

“Oh yeah? What was his name.”

Your mouth opened and closed a couple of times as you realized quickly you’d never even got Mr. Blue-Eyes name, “Shit.”

“What?”

“I didn’t even get Mr. Blue-Eyes name!”

“It’s Bucky.”

Turning around there stood Mr. Blue-Eyes himself, err… you meant Bucky. There was no doubt your embarrassment showed on your face, but the little nervous laugh that slipped out sealed the deal.

Bucky smiled at you, “That is if it’s me you were talking about?”

Wetting your lips you shifted, suddenly nervous before meeting friendly blue eyes, “Yeah,” you squeaked before clearing your throat. “I mean, yes. I’m sorry I missed your name when we talked.”

He was nodding for a brief moment, his eyes darting over towards the bar before taking a few steps closer to you and leaning down. “There’s a restaurant down the street. They’ve got pretty good sushi. You want to get the hell out of here?”

“Oh, my god yes!” The tips of your ears felt hot as you wished the ground would open up and swallow you whole but Bucky didn’t seem to notice your embarrassment. Instead, he offered up his right arm and you looped yours into it without hesitation.

Melody’s brow shot up out of surprise, “B-but that was only the first round! There are still two more.”

“I don’t think we need a round two,” Bucky said, the same charming smile pulling at the corner of his mouth and making his eyes crinkle.

“Yeah,” you laughed, in a teasing tone. “This round just might go to Cupid after all.”

Three years later.

Lights twinkled in the living room of your apartment, it was god awful early and you’d carefully planned today. Christmas day and you’d been waiting for this moment for two years now. Quickly and quietly you snuck out of the bedroom where Bucky lay wrapped up in the blankets and made your way to the front closet.

It was hard being sneaky when your boyfriend was a super spy. But after a lot of careful planning, misdirections, and a lot of help from Sam, you’d managed to do it and Bucky was none the wiser.

Tiptoeing towards the hall closet that Bucky never used you opened the squeaky hinged door in just the way so it made no noise. Reaching blindly into the black of the closet you felt around, past the dozen unused coats, jackets, scarves, and hats your hand met the back of the closet wall. Sliding quietly until your fingers brushed the cold metal you were looking for.

Jackpot.

Fingers wrapped around your prize as you gave a firm but gentle tug. A pristine, adult-sized, bright red and creamy wood seat Flex Flyer sled emerged complete with an enormous red bow.

Stifling a giggle you set it down.

“What are you doing?”

A shriek tore out of your throat as you jumped what felt like twenty feet in the air.

“James Barnes,” you scolded, heart beating a million miles an hour. “What have I said about sneaking up on me?”

“You were being sneaky first,” he said, brows drawn together as he tried to look around you. “What you hiding doll face?”

“Nothing!” You lied, spreading your arms and legs to hide your surprise gift.

It was at that moment you heard the vibration from Bucky’s phone clutched in his hand, the man tried to not look sheepish as he not so covertly pressed the silence button.

Suspicion immediately filled you, “Bucky? What are you doing?”

“What are you doing?” He shot back, his brow knits in suspicion.

It was a standoff.

The two of you staring each other down in the dark of the hallway in your matching Christmas pajamas. Someone knocking on the front door startled you both before Bucky cursed under his breath, pointing at you, “Don’t follow me.”

His instruction surprised you as he brushed past you in the small hallway. You scoffed under your breath, “You’re in your PJ’s Buck, how far are you going?”

Bucky paused before going around the corner, “I mean it.” There was another soft but hurried knock and he cursed before disappearing.

A tisk of disapproval escaped you, but urgency filled your movements the second he was out of sight. Hands shaking slightly you hurried, pulling the sled out from the closet with as much silence as you could muster before dashing the Christmas tree. Stuffing the sled behind the tree, a few bulbs swinging back and forth as you fumbled to fluff the crumpled bow on Bucky’s surprise.

A cacophony of hushed grumbles and whispers came from the front door, you could have sworn you heard Sam as the door closed with a thunk and the lock turned. In a matter of seconds Bucky was coming around the corner again, an enormous gold box gripped in his hands affixed with a brilliant glittering green bow.

It was clear that Bucky didn’t see you immediately as he juggled the wobbly box and tried to remain quiet as he did so.

“Whatcha, got there?”

Bucky startled, socked feet skidding to a halt just at the corner of the couch as the box wobbled in his hands again. Frustrated and accusatory blue eyes narrowed, “What are you doing in here?” He asked in a hushed whisper.

“What are you doing in here?”

“You better not be shaking presents.”

“Please,” you scoffed. “I’ll have you know I haven’t shaken a present since I was ten. What’s in the box, Jamie?”

Bucky flinched a little, his one weakness was when you called him Jamie. His shoulders sagged a little as his grip on the box tightened, “This was supposed to be a surprise.”

“Oh I’m surprised,” you said with a laugh. The mantle clock began to ding for the early morning hour. Five AM came so early now. “Do you want to open our gifts now?”

Bucky pursed his lips, body jerking as the box tried to throw itself from his hands. “I think now is best.”

Butterflies fluttered in your stomach at the prospect of what the box could contain. But your eyes flitted over to the space behind the tree where you’d stuffed Bucky’s surprise and the anxious feeling grew tenfold as you thought about the question you were going to ask him once he’d seen it.

Clearing his throat Bucky nodded towards the Christmas tree and the traditional present opening space. Dutifully you sat down in the chair, eyes darting over behind the tree to where your gift sat. “Um, mine's not wrapped.”

“That’s alright,” he said, setting the box at your feet as it rattled all on its own now that it was on the floor. “Where is mine and we’ll do them on the count of three.”

“Alright,” you agreed, fingers tapping the edges of your box. “Yours is behind the tree.”

You saw his eyes dart over to the tree and then back down to you, “On three.”

“Alright,” you agreed, fingers poised to rip at the bow on top of the gift. “One.”

“Two,” Bucky echoed, taking a step closer to the tree.

“Three!”

Your fingers began tearing at the bow on top of the gift box as it rattled against the floor. Pushing back the loose gold paper and terrible tape job before, POP!

Two of the most adorable brown eyes you’d ever seen stared up at you. You were stunned for a moment, staring down at the cutest little paws and wet nose you’d ever laid your eyes on.

“OHMYGODAPUPPY!!”

The shrieking sob spilled past your lips as you pulled the squirming pup into your arms, its tiny tongue licking and sniffing all over your face and mouth. Tears spilled from your eyes as the little bundle in your arms wiggled, squirmed, and kissed your face everywhere; its bottom wiggling so much they tumbled out of your arms and into your lap.

“Oh my god,” you blubbered, holding the precious little one to you. “Bucky! He’s so cute. Oh, it’s a she. She’s so cute, James. Oh god! Oh my god, I love her so much. I can't—I can’t believe this! This is real right? Do I get to keep her? Bucky?”

Looking up Bucky was angled away from you, the lights of the Christmas tree gleaming off of his arm as he held onto his new sled. His fingers found the tag as he stared at it in the dim lighting. 

He sniffled briefly before he began to read, “Roses are red, violets are blue, do me the—the honor—the honor of spending my life with you?”

Teary blue eyes turned towards you as you held the squirming puppy in your arms. “Doll,” he squeaked out with a sniffle as a few tears began to slip. “You…”

Looking up at him from your seat you reached into the side table drawer pulled out a distinctive black ring box and opened it. Inside, a single simple gold band that had Bucky’s breath catching.

“Will you,” you croaked out, clearing your throat a little more and juggling your new bundle of joy in your arms. “Will you marry me, James Buchanan Barns?”

A laugh escaped Bucky as he lowered the sled to the floor, and then himself. Bucky knelt before you, down on one knee, and reached forward towards the little puppy squirming in your arms. His fingers brushed against a tiny piece of string attached to the bow, you’d missed it but he lifted the dangling object for your inspection. A beautiful golden ring with what had to be the most enormous diamond you’d ever seen.

Your shocked watery gaze met Bucky’s impossibly blue eyes, “Only if you say yes too.”

The puppy leaped down from your lap, content to explore their new apartment as you slid down and onto Bucky’s lap. Arms wrapping around his shoulders and kissing him harder than you ever had before. Warmth blossomed in your chest as Bucky’s lips parted briefly with a light moan, kissing one another with dizzying urgency.

Gasping for air the two of you parted briefly, planting pecking kisses against one another lips.

“Is that a yes,” he husked, his hands sliding up and down your back.

“Yes, it’s a yes, Jamie.”

Grinning up at you, Bucky cradled you against him, “I didn’t know if you’d say yes.”

 “Of course I’d say yes,” you whispered, holding onto him tightly. “After all,  you did get me that puppy I’ve always wanted.”

A laugh escaped Bucky as he held you tightly and buried his face against your chest, his shoulders shaking in what could only be a relief, “Fuck, I love you so much.”

“I love you too, Blue-Eyes.”

END

#bucky barnes x you #bucky x reader #bucky x you #bucky barnes x female reader #bucky barns x reader #bucky barns x y/n #bucky barns fanfiction #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x y/n #mcu #TFWS #winter soldier #avengers #bucky barnes #marvel

[its-your-mind]

god I love it when a character is like “hello I’m a huge fucking loser nerd I have no idea how to talk to people I have no friends and I’m a loner” and then they ARE. they make friends and it becomes clear that all of their knowledge of how to talk to people comes from either books or movies or the internet or their immediate family members or whoever raised them. they struggle to turn their thoughts into something other people can understand. they get no bitches. they are so uncomfortable with any amount of external social pressure whether it’s people referring to them with terms of respect or the need to change their appearance to take on new responsibilities. so awkward in every conversation. if they have to be in charge of people they are simply incapable. either someone else takes over the giving orders part or everything goes to shit or they freeze up or they don’t stop talking. they have niche knowledge that they WILL bring up with little-to-no prompting and it WILL completely disrupt the flow of whatever conversation was happening. they wear a rotation of like ten graphic-tees and two pairs of old old old jeans and are flabbergasted as to why they might need more clothes. if someone flirts with them they are simply completely unable to reciprocate because they have no idea how it works. they are a loser. they are a geek. they are a nerd. they are a freak. they are a wierdo.

tl;dr: If you’re gonna make a character who’s a loner nerd, COMMIT TO THE FUCKING BIT

#sorry I needed to say this #let’s see how many of these I can name #off the top of my head #wade watts #(ready player one was the initial inspiration for this - both Wade and ogden and halliway) #kim dokja #(he was inspiration number two - this motherfucker has no idea how to express human thought and emotions) #harrowhark nonagesimus #I’ll come back and add more

[just-jordie-things]

how do u think megumi would react overtime as he gets used to you bringing him flowers every so often?

no particular occasion, you just wanted to bring him flowers. what do you think he does with them?

oh lawd this is so cute~~

the first time you give megumi a small handful of wildflowers you'd picked while walking around on campus. you hadn't necessarily intended on giving them to him specifically.. you just happened to be in a rush to go somewhere and he just happened to be there and net thing he knew you were shoving them into his hands and shouting 'for you!' before running off again.

despite the slight warmth in his face, megumi hadn't thought too much of it. it was just coincidence, just you being your usual kinda forgetful self and gifting him whatever happened to be in your hands. it very well could have been a gum wrapper, couldn't it?

the small pile of flowers sit in a sad lump on his desk for a couple days, they're shriveled up and a bit smelly. when he throws them out he still doesn't think much of it- besides how odd it is that flowers can have such a rancid smell once they've whithered.

and then it happens again. this time you're walking back from a particularly easy assignment. a random yellow flower catches your eye and before megumi could tell you not to pick flowers from their well placed beds in town, you're carefully plucking it from the dirt and raising it to your noise. his scold dies on his tongue when you tell him it smells nice and bring it to his face for him to sniff as well. he feels like an idiot, but he finds himself leaning forward for a whiff. he doesn't say anything- but he doesn't deny the pleasant, light scent of spring. you must be able to read his thoughts, because you laugh, before breaking off a part of the stem so you could reach up to tuck it behind his ear. megumi winces at this, unfamiliar with the feeling and unsure of whether or not he should stop you. but you seem delighted when the bright flower stays against his mess of dark hair, so he tries to ignore the whole thing completely.

the nameless yellow flower sits in a small cup of water on his nightstand for a week. eventually the small amount of sunlight and water isn't enough to keep it in bloom, and once it's petals have fallen all around the base of the cup, megumi decides it's time to toss that one out too. but at least he tried with that one, right?

he's not sure exactly when it becomes a habit, but soon it appears every time you approach him, there's a gift of nature in your hands. sometimes it's just dandelions, but sometimes it's pretty flowers you've found on your walks or assignments. there's a few times you've even pulled a half wilted flower out of your pocket- it's petals already torn and it's stem weak and bent. you're only bashful when giving him the less than perfect flowers, but megumi accepts them all the same. with a mostly hidden smile and gentle hands as he takes them from your gentle fingers.

not all of your flowers go into cups, although he does keep them in rotation, replacing the old with the new when he deemed fit. but he only kept a few on his nightstand at a time. he couldn't have anyone noticing his habit of actually keeping your silly gifts after all. it'd be best if no one figured out his tiny, barely there soft spot for you.

so naturally, he kept the rest of your flowers pressed between the pages of his books, where they'd be best hidden. every book on his shelf became littered in the covers and pages with perfectly kept wildflowers. to the point where he had to be careful when opening them, just to be sure none fell out where they risked being lost or ruined. megumi was very thoughtful in his flower placement, taking great care to press them neatly in place.

because of course he couldn't have any of them go to waste, not when the lovely, delicate gifts were given to him by the most lovely thing of all.

#i love secret softie megumi <3 #megumi brainrot #fushiguro megumi x reader #megumi x reader

[15-lizards]

Ok so i know you did wedding fashions for most of the regions of westeros already but what about the other ones like the north and the vale or the islands. Also the crownlands could be interesting because its a mishmash of westerlands/stormlands/reach/targs and also just plain opulence because royal weddings!!! (Lowkey asking about all these as reference for the multiple ocs rotating in my head at all times. Im a SUCKER for wedding scenes)

Let the wedding bells ring

Northern brides in Kokoshniks are very serious business to me. I like to think they’re leftovers of a pre-heraldic time, when the north was more tribal and clan focused. Certain shapes of the headdress and the size signal what your status is, and the types of jewels inlaid in them and embroidery done is indicative of what part of the north a woman hails from. This heralding of what family you came from carried over into the modern era, becoming more elaborate and taking on different shapes as noble houses began to appear and shaped their own identities separate from that of their original clan. Loose, heavy, long sleeved gowns are traditional bridal wear as well, from a time where a woman might be married in winter, and it became an old wives tale that a northern woman who marries without the traditional garments will freeze to death before the wedding.

Marriage is when a girl becomes a woman, so in my mind in the Vale, a brides wedding day is when she starts to cover her hair. Bc covering your hair from the winds of the Vale is for noble wives who have duties to attend to and no time to fuss over trivial things. Letting your hair down and be tangled and caught is for silly little girls who don’t have any responsibilities. Essentially a rite of passage. I also think that a leftover from when the Vale was only made up of mountain clans is the gifting of a fur to the bride that the groom hunted himself. It used to mean that the man could provide for his new wife but now it’s an old tradition where a man may or may not hunt the animal himself. And it’s another tradition for the woman to use the fur in her bridal gown and for a swaddle for her future children

Marriage for an iron islander woman is particularly important because it’s one of the few instances where she can wear bright colors and pretty things without being ridiculed. She’ll wear her house colors instead of her husbands bc her fathers pride comes first ofc. A bride and her female relatives will probably make their jewelry for the wedding, protecting the bride with prayers to the drowned god carved into beads and bracelets. And any metal she might wear comes from her fathers stash, anything he paid the iron price for and wants to show off on his daughter. It’s part of her dowry too, so for a man to give away a particularly flashy piece of loot is considered very rich behavior

And ofc Kings Landing is a conglomerate of basically everything. Obviously westerlands style is currently the most popular and influential, but there are still fashions from all over the seven kingdoms and beyond being incorporated into weddings. What a woman wears all depends on her age, her homeland, whether or not she adheres to traditions, how modest she is, how rich she is, etc etc etc you get the gist. But rest assured it’s usually going to be over the top

#asoiaf #asoiaf hair and clothing #this one been sitting in the ask box for a hot minute sorry anon

[moirascribbles]

Some Leander thoughts once again since brain is rotating him constantly....

As much as I love the necromancer theories, I think his forbidden magic could also be something else. While a lot of the lore crumbs around Leander really give the necromancy vibe, we don't know enough of how magic really works in Eridia. What are the rules, what truly counts as forbidden magic there? I know necromancy is prob the most common solution to pull when people talk about forbidden magic but imo it could be anything. We don't know enough atm sksjd. My own headcanon tho still is that he def dabbles with the life/death cycle and dark arts related things, but whether it's necromancy remains to be seen.

I believe his scar is also probably related to his forbidden magic, since imo it's caused by some sort of magic incident, a spell gone badly wrong or something along that.

Now, the undead theories I am... most unsure about because personally I feel the whole undead trope is already more Sen's area. So I don't see why RSS would do the same trope twice sksjs Again, I do think he has something going on with the cycles (purely based on all the symbolism around him) but... I don't rly buy the undead theories for now

There's... so many lore crumbs about him yet every new crumb is like swinging a bat at the old ones wkdkdjdh

#touchstarved game #leander #touchstarved leander #touchstarved #soph talks #there's so much we don't knowwwww #and I can't wait for the full game of figure him out properly #istg

[ac3may]

" the wag diaries "

How You Met

~ Leah Williamson ~

~~~~~~~~~~

if being called up to play in England’s 2022 Euros wasn’t rewarding enough

it was also what led you to meet Leah

outside of a rival environment at least

despite playing in the WSL from 16-yrs-old and junior England squads from even younger, the nerves for your first senior call-up were real

having your older sister, Millie, and her vast experience, accompanying you should have been comforting

but the moment she teased you over your stuttered introduction to the skipper you were questioning whether that was true

you’d known each other less than a day before Leah was helping you through a panic attack

and another 48 hours later and you were pulling her out of her own stress spiral 

a moment that happened to lead to a movie playing on her laptop and her head on your chest as she napped

but you accepted that a crush on the England captain was probably not a recommended thing to act on

unfortunately Rachel and Millie (aka your honorary pains in the ass) wouldn’t let it go quite so swiftly

with their encouragement, you found yourself in for some harsh rejection

Leah didn’t feel mid-competition was the right time to begin a relationship 

particularly not with a fellow teammate

despite it being expected, it hurt

as quiet as you tried to keep it the news spread

your camp mums (Lucy, Mary & Jill) finding out particularly fast

the mother hen in them all jumped out, leading Leah to receiving a stern talking to

and maybe some threats

hearing the message loud and clear Leah spent days asking to speak to you

not intending to hurt you, she had just done what she thought was best for both of you

after some incredible, slightly mortifying, begging you finally let her explain

in doing so you realised just how much you’d missed her

enjoying falling into the routine of laughing with and teasing the older blonde

but when Leah let it slip she did feel the same, you have to make a bet

“Oh, so you do like me back, Miss Williamson? Hmmm. That’s not what you said before”

*splutters in response at the cockiness*

“Well in that case how about we make a deal? If we win the Euros you have to take me out. And then we can reconsider this whole girlfriend thing?”

Leah had never found herself so speechless

she was usually the one making bold claims not the other way around 

she liked it

she had to agree

and low and behold you won the euros 

unfortunately the mass introduction of media to both of you following the Euro’s was not healthy for your relationship 

nor was the league rivalry of Arsenal vs. Chelsea when you were both as passionate for your teams as you were

you didn’t even make it to Christmas

but of course that wasn’t the end of your story

as passionate as you were about football you were about each other too

it came down to figuring out a balance 

the realisation came first to Leah when she got injured and the one thing she longed for more than anything was to have you at her side

two weeks later you were playing your dream match-up

a Champions League semi-final, away at Camp Nou

what wasn’t a part of the dream was the part where your sister limped off the pitch, an injury in her knee

and even less dreamlike was the moment where you got barged roughly, mid-save

the shove causing you to land uncomfortably on your shoulder, excruciating pain immediately shooting through your body 

after being rushed to the hospital, you’re told later that evening you had severely torn your rotator cuff

worse than that, you were out of the Champions League

you were out of the game for at least six months according to the doctors

joining the ranks of the England injury gang you spent even more time with Millie

who had happened to be spending a lot more time with Beth Mead

who was of course spending time recovering with Leah

Millie knowing she was likely to be back in time for the World Cup forced you into outings with the Arsenal players

she thought it’d help you process your injury and loss

it only made you hurt more, seeing how distraught Leah was 

and not being able to help

you had more time for these big competitions

even the last one still felt like a fluke to you!

slowly though you returned to the roots of your friendship with Leah

supporting each other when you needed it most

taking it slow this time you worked to build a healthier relationship

you developed good communication and set plans in place for when you were stressed

or competing against each other 

~~~~~~~~~~

If any of you have ever read my Wattled story Amorousness about Leah, this is essentially an amalgamation of all the ideas I had for that. So spoiler alert ig?? But also I don't know if I'll ever finish the full fic so I'm glad it'll exist somewhere!

#wag diaries #ace writes stuff #lionesses #woso x reader #woso blurb #leah williamson x reader #leah Williamson blurb #arsenal women

[astraltrickster]

Saw a post about gacha addiction earlier and I didn't want to Get Into It with the OP because I fundamentally don't disagree with them but it left me raging internally at the counterproductive approach.

Listen. Gacha addiction is real. It's fucked, the companies that pioneered the softcore gambling-lootbox-gacha model straight up bragged about how effective it was. If you have never spent money on gacha, ideally you really shouldn't start, because the only way to determine whether or not you'll get addicted to any specific thing is to fuck around and find out even if you know for a fact that in general you do or do not have an addictive personality. The most dangerous gamble to take is the first. If you DO decide to spend money anyway, you should have a comprehensive strategy in place to keep it from slowly consuming your entire budget. Also, even if you don't spend real money it can still become a problem, because it can also end up consuming all of your time - any game can do this, any hobby in general can become toxic in fact, but gacha games in particular have the FOMO factor of "I have to keep grinding so I can save enough for my blorbo's next banner". If you play gacha games - even on a free-to-play basis - you should be aware that you are taking a risk and you should be willing to admit to yourself if it's become a problem. If you find your gacha budget creeping upward despite your income not doing the same, or you find yourself regularly trying to grind out pull currency even when it's overall not fun anymore, you should take a hiatus from the game/s, and call a therapist or gambling addiction hotline if that proves to be difficult.

And if you have concerns about other people developing gacha addiction...shaming people or downplaying what they like about the games or characters helps literally no one; if anything it only sends them further into denial for your smug sense of superiority.

Thing is? Gacha games are games. Most successful ones, despite the obvious comparisons, are a lot more than just slot machines to fill out a gallery of blorbos to rotate on your screen instead of in your head. They tend to have genuinely compelling lore and characters and enjoyable gameplay - the gacha is not the game itself; it is a recruitment and power-up system in an actual game. This only becomes more true as the market becomes more competitive - like, FGO shows its age with its slow start; you can really tell it launched at a point where all one needed for success was to tie to an existing big fandom and give you a little new content with your faves, but even then the appeal was the lore and the characters far more than it ever was the summoning system, and it's kept up as time goes on, intensifying both the story and the strategy as it's come into a life of its own. Genshin Impact, at 2 years old, is as "real" of an action RPG as a Kingdom Hearts game, with intense strategy elements involved in team building. Arknights is a tower defense that I'd love to play were it not for my medical phobia because what I know of the setting and lore is some POWERFUL social commentary that is right up my alley.

I could list more examples, but it's not really the point. The point is that gacha games are real games, with real lore, and real characters. These games don't have playerbases composed exclusively of victims of predatory monetization unless you REALLY stretch the definition; in order for a game to be a good gacha game, first it does need to be a good game. It's easy to say "oh, they don't really care about the story or characters or gameplay, it's just an elaborate ad for the slot machine, it's just a cash grab" - but...even accepting that as true (which is debatable), so what? What's the difference between that and the latest big studio movie? The latest Netflix original series? The latest "conventional" "one-and-done" AAA game? Do you think the CEOs greenlit those out of nothing but the love of art and storytelling?

People are going to get attached to these stories and characters, and mocking them over it isn't ~taking a brave stand against predatory marketing strategies~, it's not ~waking people up to the fact that they've been duped~, it's just being a fucking asshole.

#media #gacha #serious tag

[umbrellacam]

Reading A Lonely Place of Dying is so interesting in so many ways, but the question I'm still rotating in my mind is about Dick, and specifically why he ends up smiling and soft-advocating for Tim to be Bruce's Robin, after he had his morality crisis over young heroes with Jason's death.

So when he finds out about Jason's death, Dick feels guilty over giving Jason his Robin costume and not being there when he died:

New Teen Titans #55

To the extent that, later in the same issue, he unilaterally fires 15-year-old Danny Chase from the Titans, over Donna and Kory's objections, citing what happened to Jason. He even expresses doubt over his own young age when he became Robin, wondering whether that was a mistake:

New Teen Titans #55

However, when Dick visits Bruce in Gotham to both express his condolences over Jason's death and also confront him over not telling Dick about it, he explicitly rejects Bruce's implication of blame:

New Teen Titans #55

And later, when the Gargoyle is mentally torturing him over his past failures to the Titans, to Bruce, and Jason, Dick breaks through his self-blame issues and firmly asserts that there was nothing he could have done to prevent Jason's death.

Secret Origins (Vol. 2) #3

But understanding his lack of blame logically isn't the same as being totally past it, as it's part of Dick's larger cycle of guilt, as he acknowledges to his therapist:

The New Titans #57

So how does Dick get from here, still wrestling with guilt and feeling ambivalent about the idea of young heroes as a whole, to the end of A Lonely Place of Dying, where he smiles and basically urges Bruce to give Tim a chance to become Robin?

Like, yes, Dick then spends the entirety of Batman: Year Three worried about Bruce's tenuous mental state after Jason's death, reaching out to him in the midst of Batman's reckless, violent spiral, trying to both express care and to call his mentor and hero back to his foundations of crime-fighting through careful detective work, not through brutality - and getting rejected by Bruce over and over. Even while being proud of Dick's methods and the hero he's grown into, Bruce just can't seem to pull himself out of his own morass of self-destruction. Dick eventually has to leave him to it, though he clearly hasn't stopped worrying about Bruce by the start of ALPoD.

Yes, Tim impresses Dick multiple times over the course of ALPoD. First at the circus with his reflexes and his quick thinking (apparently almost as much as he irritates and baffles Dick with his stubborn evasiveness and pushy presumption, lol this total gremlin). Then at Wayne Manor when Tim goes through his deduction of Batman's and Robin's identities, although this one is more an implication through Dick's decision to show Tim the Cave immediately afterward, and Alfred's words to Tim.

Batman #441

And yet Alfred's sentiment here is immediately contradicted when Tim insistently pushes the Robin costume at Dick, and Dick gets pissed off, saying that, "When Jason died, he took Robin with him. And no matter how much anybody may want it - you can't bring back the dead."

The New Titans #61

How does Dick go from this to accepting Tim as the new potential Robin all of two issues later!! This boy's emotions are so mixed up, lol.

I feel like while Dick is clearly angered by Tim's presumptions, kind of baffled and creeped-out by the sort of parasocial fixation Tim has on both Bruce/Batman and Dick/Robin, below the surface he's also genuinely absorbing Tim's driving love and care for them both. Like, he's way too ticked off to show it or even think of it consciously at the moment - and it's hard to process!! despite that day at Haly's Circus tying them together a decade ago, this kid is a rando, it's out of nowhere, it's wild to be confronted with!! - but on some level he has to be touched by Tim's care and passion for their legacy. He wouldn't make his heel-turn later and smile at Tim so approvingly otherwise.

Like, Dick wants Bruce to have a partner that cares for him that much, that forces him to care for himself in a way that he clearly hasn't been since Jason's death. And Dick is both afraid and aware that he can't fill that role anymore - that he can try to stand beside Batman as Nightwing and support him that way, but he can't stand behind Bruce in his protective shadow again, can't cramp himself back into Robin.

So even as Dick is making line-faces at this bizarre kid pushing himself at them, talking about Jason and Dick and Bruce and what Batman needs like he knows better than Dick, UGH… Dick is also considering… is maybe moved a bit by that star-bright conviction and overflowing love in the face of all the doubts that seem to plague both Bruce and Dick lately… is maybe hoping, seeing a possible light in the dark. Not on a conscious level, perhaps, but it's maybe churning below the surface with everything else Dick is thinking about.

Anyway, Dick still tracks Batman down and tries being a supportive partner as Nightwing, even going "I'm here. Always," when Batman finally brings himself to admit that he needs help. Only to IMMEDIATELY run face-first into Bruce's control issues and post-Jason-disregarding-orders trauma - "You're not with the Titans now. If you want to be with me, you follow my orders. Now do as I say." (The New Titans #61) Oof, instant I'm-NIGHTWING-not-ROBIN friction, but Dick swallows it for now.

Then Two-Face blows up a building on top of both of them, and Tim (and Alfred!) have to rescue them both. By the time that they've been dug out, Alfred and Dick are both praising Tim's potential to a very baffled and alarmed, verging on angry, Batman lol. Dick and Alfred then grin at each other while young Tim struggles against his intimidation and argues the tremendously (and understandably!) reluctant Batman to a standstill.

Batman #442

As they drive away afterward (Bruce, Dick and Tim in the Batmobile to track down Two-Face - using the tracker Tim planted on him, good job Timmy!! - and Alfred toward home in a separate car), we get the following thought-bubbles:

Bruce: Even if he's right, I don't want another partner. Dick: Bruce, for once, think with your heart, not with cold logic. Tim: He doesn't want me, but he hasn't said no. So just do your best… Alfred: …One way or another, the rest will take care of itself.

Batman #442

"Think with your heart, not with cold logic" - so does Dick's line here mean that this is what he himself is doing at this point? Setting aside his logic, his fears and reservations about young heroes, about Jason's death, about putting another young boy in the Robin costume - because Tim joining them, maybe becoming Bruce's new partner, feels right? Because everything that Tim has shown of himself so far means the kid deserves a chance, at least? Because Bruce's caution after Jason's death would mean that he'll make sure to 'do it right this time'? Because Tim's passion and conviction could be what Batman needs, and - maybe as much if not more than that - could be something that deserves to be nurtured into something great, despite Dick's own (and Bruce's) fears?

Because Dick has to be wrestling with and at least quelling (if not fully letting go of) his fears about the risks to young heroes in these issues, it doesn't make sense for him to be okay with Tim as Robin otherwise. And it can't all be about what use Tim could be to Bruce - the leash he could put on Batman's out of control behavior. That's far too selfish and manipulative as a sole motive for Dick Grayson; especially after Jason, he wouldn't encourage a kid to jump into the meat-grinder of vigilantism solely to save Bruce or preserve the legacy of Batman & Robin.

I feel like Dick has to also be seeing something in Tim here, his potential, his determination, the good that he can and wants desperately to do, that Dick has to respect, has to think deserves a shot. When Alfred goes, "The boy should be a politician!" and Dick replies, "He'd do more good with Bruce," (Batman #442; panels above), it does feel like he's thinking of the difference Tim himself could make in the world. Dick has to be remembering why he himself could not be put off from the vigilante life when he was even younger than Tim, why Jason also went out there and did his best every night. To help people, in a way that mattered.

Anyway, Tim also puts in a good showing when they confront Two-Face, despite giving Bruce a near heart-attack over this strange unfamiliar boy wearing his son's uniform when Tim briefly appears to have been crushed - only for him to have saved himself and warned Batman and Nightwing of danger through his quick thinking.

Afterward, Alfred and Dick both advocate for Tim, so Dick is clearly pulling for Tim to be given a chance. Dick's smile here, my heart.

Batman #442

I still wish they'd been a little more explicit with the turn of Dick's mindset here, but at the same time I guess it's pretty effective as show-not-tell!

All in all, I feel like ALPoD was very effective storytelling, well done Marv, hugely enjoyable read, and I can't wait to read more.

#I had to reconstruct this entire post from scratch after Tumblr ate the whole fucking thing GRAHHHH 👿👿👿 #Dick Grayson #Tim Drake #Bruce Wayne #Alfred Pennyworth #Dick and Tim #Bruce and Dick #Bruce and Tim #Dick and Jason #Bruce and Jason #Dick Grayson meta #Tim Drake meta #this wasn't really supposed to be meta so much as me trying to think through Dick's emotional through-line but eh! #those are the tags I have lol #dcu #DC Comics panels #Cam reads comics #Batman #Batman and Robin #Nightwing #A Lonely Place of Dying #Cam posts #Cam writes

[nihilnovisubsole]

sometimes when work is busy or you have a lot going on in your life, your brain goes to weird places in search of a way to relax. you find some niche book genre and have to read everything in it, or you throw yourself into a hobby you haven't thought about for years. me, i tend to reminisce about the story concepts i came up with when i was much younger, like middle and high school. they're not good. the characters are personality sketches and art designs, and there's never much plot meat. they're beat sheets, or a few thousand words and vibes. the adults behave in confusing, edgy, melodramatic ways that make perfect sense when you're thirteen and think you're being deep. but they're nostalgic, and some of them have potential if i squint, so it's easy to go, "hmm. is there anything i could do with this now?"

and some of these concepts are fanfic, which has a particular allure, because you're tired, and it saves you sooo much worldbuilding legwork. remember that show or game you loved? you could reconnect with it! you could rotate blorbos you haven't rotated in twenty years! you could resurrect old ships! give OCs a new coat of paint and realize a story you couldn't do justice decades ago!

which is beguiling until the minute you go to ao3 and find the source material's fan presence is a barren wasteland. i'm no stranger to small fandoms, and i'll be the first to say you shouldn't make art for engagement alone, but i'm talking dozens of fics. ancient harry potter crossovers. hit counts in the low three digits. fics that share a word with the title, so they turn up in the search results. with stats like those, you wonder whether, if you posted about it, most of your followers would even know what you were talking about.

this is the point where i take myself by the shoulders and go, "AK, this is your gremlin brain talking. don't feed your gremlin brain." of course, at this point in my career, i should probably ask myself whether all fanfic is the gremlin brain talking, which is kind of a shame. time spent writing fanfic is lost opportunity cost that i should be using to build a body of original work. so i eat my vegetables and i work on the original outlines. but i wash the dishes, and i still think, wouldn't that be cool? man. man!!

#shitpost #all i do is navelgaze on tumblr now !! thanks NDA

[ninadove]

Surely Someday, from Professor Layton and the Azran Legacy (2013)

JP: Miho Fukuhara

ENG: Adriana Figueroa

Not to be emotional on main, but I’ve been thinking about these stories lately — whether it is because of a new release, a new friend, or old movies I rewatched with my sister.

They shaped me as a person, an artist and a writer. Clive taught me to write Felix; now I feel confident enough to write for Clive once more. It’s all coming full circle.

And the coolest thing is: there are so many stories I have yet to discover! Characters to fall in love with! Blorbos to rotate, if you will!

Surely someday I’ll have more love to share. 💛💙🧡

#professor layton #pokemon #pokemon black and white #avatar the last airbender #atla #rwby #save rwby #greenlight volume 10 #hades supergiant #hades #hades 2 #fire emblem three houses #fe3h #miraculous ladybug #winnie the pooh #find her keep her #surely someday #nina weaves 🪡

[theneighborhoodwatch]

cobbling together old discord rambles about julie and frank to make sense in a single text post because i feel like hurting someone today:

something i rotate a lot is the Dramatic Irony of a friendship deteriorating as a result of external forces trying to push them together when they were ALREADY close but not in the way that those forces intended - trying to make every interaction between them something that it isn't. i've made jokes along the lines of “genderfucking my ocs by telling them they have to be cishet” before but like. genuinely i do think there’s potential for there to be an element of one or both finally being pushed by this predicament to Deliberately seek out things they are not “supposed” to have, whether that be new relationships or new forms of self expression or just things we have no way of predicting yet.

and the real tragedy there is that if any of the characters involved had it their way, then it's likely that these things wouldn’t be coming into conflict with each other at all, bc yes they are different things, but they are all equally genuine. i know some people have talked about the idea julie turning against frank bc she does actually have feelings for him, but my own personal disinterest in this interpretation aside, i think there’s a lot more Dramatic Mileage to be found in “this person is my best friend so i only want good things for them -> free will and love are generally good things -> i find out i exist to limit their free will and/or ability to find love with other people -> Oh god. there's no way i can be included among 'good things' then. oh god. oh god." or "this person is my best friend so i only want good things for them -> free will and love are generally good things -> i find out they exist to limit my free will and/or ability to find love with other people -> Hey Dude? What The Fuck. I Have Only Ever Wanted Good Things For You.” or even both of those at the same time.

i wonder, which would feel worse: telling someone in a fit of anger against the circumstances that led you two here (circumstances are harder to hurt than people) that they ruined your life just by existing, and then having them try to turn that back on you? or having them agree with you? to find yourself burdened with the task of trying to cut them loose from you and risking your own safety in the process, or to find that they've taken matters into their own hands before you could make that decision?

#welcome home #wh speculation #julie joyful #frank frankly #public notice #i joked once that between these two and wally n barnaby that like #welcome home is actually a psyop to introduce the concept of the brotp back into popular fandom lexicon #by imbibing every friendship in this series with So Much Potential For Angst #that's still a joke but by god is it working

[illusion-of-death]

🔥 hot take on Teba or Revali?

(Ask game can be found here: https://www.tumblr.com/illusion-of-death/746491687562575872/new-writing-ask-game )

So... as I've probably confessed on here before, Teba and Revali are not characters that I've rotated around in my head nearly as much as most of the rest of the BotW cast—a solid 99% of everything about them in Carry Me From These Walls is entirely @ofstormsandfire 's doing. (Hope, if you have stuff to add here, feel free!) I do have a couple of headcanons, but no sense of whether or not these takes have any sort of heat to them—

I do subscribe to the "Revali's an older teenager with a MASSIVE chip on his shoulder" theory, but would like to add my own caveat that he is still super attached to certain childhood objects/memories of his that he refuses to let go of, but also he will VEHEMENTLY deny caring about them at all and gets super embarrassed if anyone implies they know anything about it.

You CANNOT tell me that Tears of the Kingdom Teba would have allowed his fledgling son out into that blizzard if he had literally any way of stopping him. Sir you watched him fly off why the hell didn't you follow?? Therefore, I headcanon that Vah Medoh's cannon shot from BotW left Teba significantly worse off than either game implies—he is still physically disabled from that old injury, and also suffers pretty significant anxiety when it comes to long flights. He wanted to follow his son, but he couldn't.

Hopefully this is somewhat in line with the kind of answer you were hoping for? Thanks for asking!

#asked and answered #revali #teba

[daisiesonafield-blog]

Hi Daisie,

do you know if any of your followers has access to the full article?

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/music/news/harry-styles-album-year-grammys-speech-beyonce-white-privilege/

This doesn’t happen to people like me very often.” So said 29-year-old Harry Styles, accepting his Grammy Award for Album of the Year on Sunday night. Most normal people assumed that by “people”, Styles meant a boy born outside of Birmingham and brought up in between Crewe and Manchester, far from the bright lights of London and the Brit School. But the internet is not full of normal people, and outrage ensued, as critics claimed that Styles was ignoring his white privilege – and, worse, having a pop at Beyoncé.

Styles also drew ire by arguing that “there’s no such thing as ‘best’ in music”, and refusing to say that he thought Beyoncé would win, instead saying merely that “you never know with this stuff”. The critics didn’t hold back. “‘This doesn’t happen to people like me’,” wrote the American podcaster Sam Sanders, “is the most white privilege-iest thing to ever be uttered at an awards show ever for all time [sic].” “Beyoncé continues to be boycotted, without AOTY [Album of the Year] and used as a token to disguise the Academy’s racism,” complained the pop-culture website Pop Tingz. 

Styles may have had a wobbly night – not least because the turnstile on which his dance number was meant to be performed rotated in the wrong direction – but an attack on “Queen B” this was not. To most Britons, Styles’s accent is the clue that he’s different from many a young London silver-spoon star; yet this subtlety is almost entirely lost on Americans. True, that Cheshire accent has been muddied by his recent attempt at a transatlantic twang while filming Don’t Worry Darling. 

And having a finance director for a father hardly puts you in league with British pop’s history of working-class heroes, from The Beatles to Oasis. Yet these days the industry has changed, and Styles is quite clearly different to the likes of Florence Welch or Marcus Mumford, who seem to fit into the world of fame as if they were born to it.

We’ve been here before. In 2019, when Sam Fender, born in North Shields, dared to explain why “white privilege” sounded like a difficult concept to the white men with whom he grew up, he was labelled tone-deaf and racist. This is the success of the “white privilege” label: admit it and you’re damned, deny it and you’re deluded. But in importing a particularly American brand of racial politics, discussion about success within the British arts only becomes skewed. 

Unlike in the States, class is a greater defining factor of success in Britain than race or gender are – a fact that many commentators seem to want to forget. “The debate raging online about where Styles sits on the class spectrum is a fascinating insight into Britain’s class obsession,” wrote one writer in The Guardian. That sound you can hear is a nation of working-class music-lovers choking on their own scorn.

Styles, in truth, is both right and wrong. Poor boys and girls have often made it to the top, though often that has been on account of the sheer tenacity of their talent. Barry Keoghan is currently flavour of the month in Ireland for his performance in Martin McDonagh’s film The Banshees of Inisherin, despite his extremely tough and poverty-stricken upbringing, which involved going in and out of the care system. 

Bands have often capitalised on class difference, too – admitting whether you were an Oasis or a Blur fan was as much a class signifier as the tea-vs-supper debate, and it did neither band any commercial harm. Some fans have also pointed out, amusingly, that Adele, who was also up for Album of the Year at the Grammys, was born and raised in Tottenham.

A working-class hero Harry Styles may not entirely be, but he certainly isn’t a white-privilege villain either. And we would all do well to remember that awards ceremonies, and the speeches made at them, may be full of glitz and glamour, but they bear little relevance to the politics of the real world – or to the real people who live out there.

Full article. Link here. No paywall link.

#here you go anon #grammys 2023 #ella whelan #she said: pipe down #harry february 2023 #feb 7 2023 #feb 2023

[venus-haze]

The Heart Is a Lonely Hunter - Prequel (Yandere!Austin!Elvis x Reader)

Summary: There was no way you could have seen it coming…right? Or four instances where you could have noticed Elvis blurring the boundaries of personal and professional.

Note: This is based on an anonymous request, and as of right now will be the last thing I plan to write for The Heart Is a Lonely Hunter, because there’s other requests and series I’d like to focus on writing. I appreciate everyone’s support for the series, and hope you all like it! Please consider the warnings before deciding whether or not you want to read this fic. Do not interact with my blog or posts if you are under 18 or post ED/thinspo content.

Word count: 4.5k

Warnings: This is a yandere fic, so expect dark themes such as emotional blackmail, obsessive and manipulative behavior, and abuse of power, which some people may find disturbing or triggering. Mentions of drug abuse. Kathy makes a brief appearance and I know y’all do not like her so I guess I’m including her as a warning. Do not interact if you are under 18.

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

Graceland, 1968

Being Elvis Presley’s personal assistant hardly felt like a job, if you were being honest with yourself. Something was always happening, and you never found yourself bored even in your downtime with all of the friends and relatives rotating in and out of Graceland at all hours of the day. It seemed like every day you were introduced to someone new—a friend of a friend from high school, an old army buddy, a cousin from Priscilla’s side of the family. You were having so much fun being part of such a chaotic new world that you almost forgot you were being paid until Vernon handed you your first paycheck, almost triple what you’d been making at NBC.

You were still getting the hang of being part of Elvis’ entourage, but you must have been doing something right, because he entrusted you with more tasks and responsibilities as the weeks progressed. Since you’d quit your job at NBC almost as soon as Elvis asked you to work for him, you needed to prove to your skeptical friends and former colleagues that you made the right decision by choosing the King of Rock n’ Roll over one of the biggest television studios in the country. The special wouldn’t be released for another few months, but you knew it’d shut them all up once they saw for themselves what Elvis could do.

Whenever he’d ask for your opinions on his reinventing his career, you still felt a bit of shock that he even bothered to ask, much less seriously take your opinion into account. It helped that whenever Priscilla was around, you and her seemed to agree on a lot of things. There weren’t many women in Elvis’ entourage, so you and her became fast friends, which meant hanging out poolside or having her do your makeup and bring you up to speed on the decade or so of inner circle gossip you hadn’t been aware of. Naturally, your friendship with Priscilla made you feel that much more guilty over the crush on Elvis you’d developed since filming the Comeback Special.

A few weeks into the job, Elvis had asked you to meet him in the living room, where he seemed to do most of his business. People always filtered in and out of the room, but it never seemed to phase him. As the two of you sat on the couch, your gaze landed on the mock-ups of his new private plane the ‘Lisa Marie’ and his plans for his upcoming world tour. That day, however, Priscilla had brought Lisa over to her parents’ place to visit. 

“You likin’ things here, Y/N?” Elvis asked, pulling you from your thoughts.

“Yes! This is the best job I could have hoped for,” you said. 

“You’re not just sayin’ that, are ya? I know things can be crazy around here if you’re not used to it.”

“I promise I’m happy,” you said, waving your hand toward the mock-ups. “I mean, who wouldn’t be?”

“A worldwide tour,” Elvis whispered, almost to himself. “You know, I’ve never toured outside the country before.”

“I’ve ever left the country either,” you said. “I’ve already applied for my passport. I’m so excited.”

“Y/N, where do you want to go?” Elvis asked. “Anywhere in the world, where do you think I should play?”

“I think Japan would be fun,” you answered.

He gave you a big smile. “That’s exactly what I was thinking.”

“I know the tour schedule might be tight, but I’d love to be able to do some sightseeing in Tokyo,” you said. “You know, your fan club there is one of the biggest in the world. You should try to meet with them, or the fan club president, at least.”

“Yeah, I get a lot of letters from over there,” he said. “You’re right; it’s the least I could do. I wouldn’t be anything without my fans believing in me. Sometimes I still can’t believe how much people like my music, or liked, I guess.”

“Once your special airs, you’re all anyone will be able to talk about,” you said. “Especially when you announce your international tour.”

“Thanks, Y/N. I know I can trust you to be honest with me.”

“Always,” you promised.

He had another meeting to plan his international tour later on in the afternoon, while you were stuck on the phone stalling with the people from Singer Sewing who were still on Elvis’ back about the special. You’d gotten good at coming up with reasons and excuses for why he couldn’t come to the phone, and no, you wouldn’t be accepting anything from their lawyers. It frustrated you, because the Colonel should be the one taking care of it, but it seemed like Elvis was trying to distance himself from his manager, which meant everyone trying to figure out who’d pick up which responsibilities in the meantime.  

The meeting had long since ended by the time you hung up on probably the sixth person from Singer who you’d spoken to. Wandering into the living room, you looked over the notes that had been posted on the touring mock-up board. There was one for each country he planned to hold a show in, Germany, Italy, Brazil, Australia, but you looked most carefully at the one for Japan, which had more written on it than the others. ‘JAPAN - per EP: 3 days minimum, Tokyo show, meet fanclub, sightseeing (?)’ 

“Did I get it all, darlin’?” Elvis asked, startling you as you hadn’t realized he’d come in. 

You turned to him. “I like the question mark next to sightseeing.”

“No questions about it; I’ll be sure we go somewhere nice in Japan.”

“We?” you asked, trying not to let your excitement show.

“Well, if you don’t mind an old man taggin’ along,” he teased.

You laughed. “Old man? You’re not old.”

“C’mon, Y/N, I’d have gray hairs by now if I didn’t dye it,” he said.

“I think you’d look good gray,” you said.

“Yeah?”

“Definitely.”

He smiled, giving you a kiss on the cheek. “Thanks, darlin’.”

You couldn’t help how your face heated up at this, bashfully averting your eyes from him. He carefully lifted your head so that you were looking at him again, and you could have sworn he would have kissed you, if not for the front door opening, and little Lisa Marie toddling in. You quickly shifted to the other end of the couch before Priscilla could walk in. Priscilla. Elvis was your boss, and at the very most you were friends, but he wouldn’t do anything like that with his wife around, and certainly not with you of all people, you reasoned to yourself, determined to shake off whatever crush you had on him.

Las Vegas, 1969

Somehow, the Colonel had convinced Elvis to postpone his world tour and take up a temporary residency at the newly built International Hotel in Las Vegas. After the six-weeks of shows, you all would finally be off to see the world. Still, the International was a gorgeous hotel, and you were thrilled when Elvis informed you everyone would be getting their own rooms for the duration of the residency, and to not worry about using room service or any amenities. Sure, the first few nights you went a little wild in the casino and ordered steak and lobster up to your room, but after that, everyone seemed to settle down and focus on bringing the upcoming show together.

All things considered, you figured it made sense for Elvis to test his new show for smaller audiences before bringing it to larger stadiums abroad, especially since the International was covering everything. He could afford to make changes and go as big as he wanted. Electricity was in the air, and you couldn’t get enough of it. The sky wasn’t even the limit with the newly minted ‘Lisa Marie’ ready to fly.

Elvis had asked you to join him in the showroom, as he looked over the stage again and spoke to some of the people who’d be working on the technical aspects of the show. There wasn’t much for you to do, so you wandered around the opulent auditorium, taking in your surroundings. It was the perfect place for Elvis to perform, and with how much Elvis had been talking up the new ideas he had for his show, you couldn’t wait to see it.

“Pretty impressive, huh?” an unfamiliar voice said, as you reached the back of the showroom.

You turned around to look at the man, “Yeah, it’s the biggest on the Strip, right?”

“That’s what they say,” he nodded. “I’m Jake, by the way.”

“I’m Y/N, it’s nice to meet you.”

“You gonna be in the show, or?”

“No,” you laughed. “I’m just Elvis’ assistant.”

“You work with Elvis?” Jake asked incredulously.

“Is that surprising?” you wondered aloud.

He grinned. “I just figured a woman pretty as you would be one of the showgirls or something.”

You giggled at the compliment. It’d been a long time since you’d been flirted with, spending so much time with Elvis’ inner circle and all. Jake’s attention definitely wasn’t unwelcome. He was handsome, with blond hair and eyes that were blue—or were they green? You weren’t close enough to tell. He wore a t-shirt that was definitely a size too small on purpose, because his muscles looked like they were straining against the thin fabric.

“What do you do around here?” you asked.

“Stage lights,” he answered. “I used to bartend at this other hotel, but I got roped doing lights one night when there was no one to fill in for one of my coworkers and–”

Elvis shouted your name, his voice echoing through the showroom. “Y/N!”

“I’m so sorry. I have to go,” you said.

“Don’t want to keep the king waiting,” Jake said, a playful grin on his face. “Why don’t you meet me at the bar later? Say, nine?”

“Nine is perfect,” you smiled.

Elvis yelled for you again, louder this time. You rushed down the stairs to the stage, where he was standing with his hands on his hips. He was frowning, his eyebrows furrowed as he glared in the direction where you had run over from. 

When you approached him, he shook his head, clicking his tongue at you. “I don’t pay you to play heart-eyes with stagehands, Y/N.”

Taken aback, you stammered out a response, “I–he just came over to me and–”

“And nothin’!” he snapped. “Both of you should be workin’. I shouldn’t have to call for you twice, especially at a time like this.”

“You’re right. I’m so sorry,” you said. 

You were trying not to let it get to you, but Elvis had never been angry with you before. It was the worst feeling you’d ever experienced, a pit forming in your stomach at being the subject of his ire. He’d done so much for you, and now, at a pivotal moment in his career, you were letting yourself get caught up with a stagehand you barely know who said a few flirty things to you. Your eyes stung, and you were sure if he scolded you more, you wouldn’t be able to hold back your tears.

He stared at you silently for a few moments, his hands clenched into fists before he sighed, his expression softening. “I need you more than ever, darlin’. Just try to stay focused, okay?”

You nodded, your voice cracking a bit as you whispered, “Okay.”

Despite Elvis’ best attempts to reassure you throughout the day, you still felt guilty. People kept stopping you to ask if you were okay, and you were embarrassed that you let the small altercation affect you so much. Even when Elvis dismissed you early for the day, you couldn’t bring yourself to follow through with meeting Jake at the bar that night. He’d probably hate you, but you’d rather he hate you than Elvis. 

Instead, you called it an early night, waking up far too early the next morning by Vegas standards, but you couldn’t fall back asleep as much as you tried. Feeling cooped up in the luxurious hotel room you were calling home for the time being, you decided to get ready for the day and hang out in the hotel restaurant for a few hours. You grabbed a few fashion magazines and made your way down to the first floor of the hotel. The restaurant was practically empty, and you didn’t have to wait long for your breakfast to be done.

About an hour later, the restaurant started filling up more, and you noticed Jerry walk in. You waved at him, and he walked over to your table, taking the seat across from you. 

“Hey Y/N, how’s it going?” he asked.

“I’m alright,” you answered. “How about you?

“Good, I got all that shit with Jake taken care of. What a sick motherfucker.”

“Huh?”

“EP told me all about it, why you were so upset yesterday. I got it worked out with the hotel manager. You won’t have to worry about him anymore,” he said before scoffing. “It’s like these places will hire anyone nowadays.”

“Yeah,” you agreed, despite not having a clue as to what he was talking about. Jake seemed nice, but from your brief encounter with him, you didn’t really know much, but he certainly hadn’t made you upset. You supposed if Elvis found out something bad enough about Jake to have to go to the International’s manager about him, you were better off not worrying about the situation. Besides, like Elvis said, you had your job to focus on, with opening night only a few weeks away.

Denver, 1970

The US tour was busier than you could’ve expected, and you didn’t even want to imagine what the world tour would look like in comparison. It did trouble you that the tour dates were so close together. Elvis didn’t have time to rest and relied on Dr. Nick to shoot him up with whatever he had in his bag to get him to sleep. You knew the Colonel recommended Dr. Nick, but you didn’t trust how he seemed to prescribe Elvis all sorts of pills and potions without a second thought. Besides, what kind of doctor only went by their first name anyway?

Regardless, the American leg of the tour was well-received so far, and you were spending more time with Elvis than ever despite the chaotic schedule. You had been especially excited for the Denver show, since your sister Kathy lived in Boulder. When you mentioned it, Elvis didn’t hesitate to offer you two tickets to the show and the night off to catch up with her before jet-setting to the next city.

You were looking forward to seeing Kathy again, even if it would only be for a few hours. The two of you were close growing up, and though you’d drifted apart as you went to college and settled down in different states, you kept in touch as much as you could. You took a cab from the airport to the restaurant in Denver that Kathy wanted to go to, and practically ran over to her when you saw her waiting outside.

As soon as the two of you were seated, she went ahead and ordered a bottle of wine, and you knew you’d be in for a whirlwind of a dinner. 

“So, what’s he like?” Kathy asked, wiggling her eyebrows as soon as the waiter left.

“Who, Elvis? I’ve already told you, he’s nice and funny, and he always seems to care about what I have to say.”

“Not that, I mean in bed.”

You stared at her, dumbfounded. “Why would I know that?”

“You’re telling me you haven’t made a move?” she asked. “From what I’ve heard he fucks anything with a—“

“He’s my boss, Kathy. I don’t think of him like that,” you lied. “It’d be inappropriate, and I couldn’t bring myself to do that to Priscilla even if I were interested.”

“Seriously? Y/N, when you said you dropped your job at NBC like two years ago I figured it was because you and him were sleeping together, and he wanted to keep you around. I mean, why else would you have done it?”

“Because I believe in him, and he’s a good friend, and—what kind of person do you think I am?”

“Okay, I’ll drop it,” she conceded, clearly displeased with your answer. 

The rest of the night was nice, but you couldn’t shake the discomfort at what Kathy had said at dinner. You’d made it clear you were Elvis’ personal assistant, but if your own sister assumed you were just there to scratch his itch whenever his wife wasn’t around, you didn’t want to consider what everyone outside of the Memphis Mafia and the backing band and singers thought of you. 

The schedule was far too busy for Kathy to meet Elvis, which you were previously apologetic about but had become glad for. You and Elvis were close, and it wasn’t uncommon for him to give you hugs or kiss you on the cheek. He was just a sweet guy, not afraid to be affectionate with the people he cared about; it was something that you loved about him. After shows he would run off with girls sometimes, but he always went out of his way to see you beforehand, just to talk and ironically check on you. The last thing you wanted was for Kathy to misinterpret that. 

You and Kathy parted ways after the show, and you half-heartedly promised to call her when you got back to Memphis and fill her in on how the rest of the tour went. You had to book it backstage to catch up with everyone and not miss the plane to the next city. A security guard didn’t seem to believe your all-access pass was authentic, and you found yourself arguing with him.

“Can you just go back there and get someone? They all know me,” you said in exasperation. “I have my pass. I don’t know what else you need.”

“That Colonel guy said people might try to get back here with fake passes.”

“Mine is real!”

The security guard didn’t answer. You felt like you were slamming your head against a brick wall. Even if you did make it outside in time to catch up with everyone making their way to the cars, you weren’t sure you’d be let through now. Just as you were about to try arguing again, one of the doors opened, and Jerry walked out, looking surprised to see you.

“What’re you doing out here? EP keeps asking for you,” Jerry said.

You glared at the security guard, who was emotionless at the confirmation that you weren’t lying after all. Following Jerry backstage, you waited for the door to completely shut behind you.

“He thought my pass was fake,” you said. 

“It looks like everyone else’s.”

“Not to him, apparently. He said the Colonel told him that people might make fake passes to get to Elvis.”

Jerry rolled his eyes. “The Colonel’s got some nerve talking about fake paperwork.”

“What?”

“Don’t worry about it right now, Y/N. Like I said, Elvis has been looking for you,” he said, pointing to where Elvis was standing backstage.

You walked over, and he engulfed you in a sweaty hug. 

“Y/N, I’m never lettin’ you take a night off again. Every time I didn’t see you there I felt like my head fell off.”

“I don’t think I’ll need another one for a while.”

“How’d things go with your sister?”

Before you could answer, everyone was being ushered out of the building to the cars that were waiting out back. You ended up in a different car from Elvis, which gave you time to think on the way to the airport, but you knew that it wouldn’t be a long conversation, since Dr. Nick usually gave Elvis whatever medication to help him sleep within ten minutes of him stepping onto the plane.

You followed Elvis to the back of the plane, where you sat across from him. You didn’t want to talk about Kathy or what she said, it would be humiliating. As soon as he sat down, though, he picked the conversation up right where it had left off backstage.

“Alright, Y/N, how’d it go? Y’all catch up? She like the show?” Elvis asked.

“Yeah, she loved it,” you said. “She thought it was amazing.”

“Well that’s good, but you suddenly don’t seem so excited.”

“I just—she said some things that made it seem like I gave her the wrong impression of our relationship. I’m just worried other people might get the wrong idea too,” you confessed.

“Darlin’, you and me both know we ain’t doin’ nothin’ wrong. You’re one of the only people I really trust anymore,” he said, placing his hand over yours. “Maybe you should be careful who you talk to from now on. People outside of our circle, they don’t understand what this life is like.”

You smiled. “You’re right. I don’t know why I let her get to me.”

Dr. Nick walked over, and you nearly failed to hide your disdain as he opened his medicine bag. “Wonderful show as usual, Mr. Presley.”

You couldn’t stand to look, let alone be around, when Dr. Nick would inject Elvis with whatever poison he’d chosen for the night. You didn’t know how to bring it up to Elvis, though, but you knew it would catch up with him eventually. Sitting toward the front of the plane, you chewed on your nail, waiting for Dr. Nick to finish up giving Elvis his ‘prescription.’ When the so-called doctor emerged from the back of the plane, you wasted no time in returning to where you had been sitting before to check on Elvis.

“Y/N,” Elvis muttered drowsily, “you’re back.”

Tears pricked your eyes. “Of course I am.”

He hummed. “You mean everything to me. Y/N, I–”

He passed out before he could finish his sentiment, and you took his hand in yours. You couldn’t bring yourself to call it sleeping, did he even dream when he was in that state? Was he lucid enough to feel or hear? You would drive yourself crazy thinking about it, but you mostly didn’t want to admit that you loved Elvis too much to keep seeing him like that, but you couldn’t leave, it’d be the opposite of helping him to abandon him when it seemed like no one else was looking out for him. If no one else was willing to take up the responsibility, you supposed you could handle it.

Graceland, 1971

After Elvis’ second national tour, you took a week off to visit home and see your family. You called home as much as you could, but it was tough to get anyone on the line when your schedule was so unusual. Having a full week with them would give you the time to catch up on all of the details of working for Elvis that they could never seem to get enough of, and also spend quality time with you, which happened less and less as the years went by.

The longer you stayed there, the less it felt like home. You hadn’t realized you’d replaced memories of your childhood home with those of Graceland, confused when your house didn’t behave the way the bustling mansion did, from the building itself to the people. Even your childhood bedroom was unfamiliar compared to your room at Graceland or even the International. You were almost relieved when your vacation was cut short on the fourth day by a call at three in the morning that you could hardly understand.

“Y/N, darlin’, you need to come back, please,” Elvis sobbed over the phone.

“Elvis, please slow down and explain to me what happened,” you said gently.

“‘Cilla left me, took Lisa with her and I–I need you right now. I’m sorry but please come home.”

Home.

“I’ll take the first flight out in the morning,” you promised.

“Call me as soon as you know which one so I can send the car for you.”

“I will.”

He mumbled something under his breath that you couldn’t make out, but when you heard him sobbing again, the line cut out. Sighing, you began to pack your bags, to the chagrin of your parents who had not only been woken up in the middle of the night but also losing three days of seeing you. You gave them apologetic hugs and promises to come back soon before leaving for the airport to try to figure out how soon you could get to Memphis. The stewardess informed you there was a flight to Memphis at seven in the morning with seats available. 

“Hey,” you said.

“Y/N, when are you gonna be here?” he asked.

“There’s a flight at seven I can take, so I’ll be there before noon.”

“Noon, I’ll see you by noon,” he repeated.

Your flight seemed to take forever, and you were sure the flight attendants wanted to throw you out of the emergency door for how often you asked what time it was and how much longer until you landed. The sun shined strong on Memphis when you walked out of the airport and to the car that was waiting outside for you. Drab city streets blurred past you into greener suburbs and finally to the estate that was Graceland. 

As the car pulled up to the curb, you practically tumbled out the door as you rushed into the mansion. The curtains were open, the only source of any light in the place. It was chillingly empty, almost feeling like you’d arrived too early to a funeral. 

Taking in a deep breath, you called out, “Elvis? It’s Y/N!”

The response you received was a loud sob which echoed through the nearly vacant house. You ran upstairs, and opened his bedroom door, only to find it empty. 

“I’m in here,” he croaked out.

You saw him on the other end of the hall, standing in the doorway of his parents’ room. Walking over to him, you felt your heart break at how pathetic he looked–hair unkempt, face red, tear tracks dried on his cheeks. As soon as you were within arms’ reach, he grabbed you for a hug, crying into your shoulder. 

“She’s gone. She don’t love me anymore.”

“Elvis, I’m so sorry,” you whispered, stroking his hair.

“Did you know?”

“No,” you answered honestly.

He stared at you, where you looked and how you spoke when you answered. He was trying to see if you were lying or not. Oh, that’s why the house is empty.

“Will you stay with me, Y/N?” he asked. “I know I made you leave your folks’ place early and you probably hate me, but I can’t be alone right now.”

“I could never hate you,” you whispered. “I’ll be here as long as you need.”

He seemed to take what you said to heart, because he settled down enough to sleep not long after that. You felt strange, watching him sleep in his parents’ bed. When you shifted to try to get up, he stirred, and you definitely didn’t want to wake him when he was clearly so exhausted. Through the night, he clung to you, and you woke up entangled with him.

#elvis x reader #austin!elvis x reader #elvis presley x reader #yandere!elvis x reader #yandere x reader #elvis #elvis 2022 #austin!elvis #yandere elvis

[hwxnghyynjin]

Rose Coloured Lenses

Pairing: jaemin x reader Genre: friends to lovers!au, slow burn, angst, fluff, suggestive Warnings: swearing, alcohol consumption, implied sex, mentions of throwing up, Haechan is an asshole, slapping Words: 11,136

Life is unpredictable. You never know what is going to happen, whether it be the future or the present day, and that’s in both negative and positive situations. Life can go one of two ways: you try your best and work to the best of your ability, getting your dream job and living your best life with your loved ones. Maybe have a significant other and get married, have children (whether that’d be adopt or make your own). 

Or life can go horribly wrong. You don’t try and end up becoming this really shut off person to the world, constantly feeling worried about everything and not sure what to do with your life, so you end up turning to doing drugs to take the edge off, or drinking alcohol every night, waking up the next morning not being able to remember what you did due to getting wasted.

You never know the people who you meet in your life will be your best friend, your acquaintance, or your worst enemy. In this case, the brown haired 4 year old with chubby cheeks will, hopefully, end up being your best friend for life.

You saw the boy sitting in a sandbox, waddling your small self over to him. He had a bucket and spade, shovelling some sand into said bucket. It looked like he was trying to make a sandcastle, so you were careful not to scare him. 

The young boy felt someone in his presence, lifting his tiny head up to see a young girl with chubby cheeks and big eyes, who looked around the same age as him. He gave a big smile, like his mom told him to whenever he saw someone approach him. He smiled cutely, showing his teeth. You smiled back at him as you waved, introducing yourself in your small, high pitched voice.

The boy in front of you introduced himself as Na Jaemin, his cute high pitched voice ringing in your ears. He let you join him in the sandbox, moving your little legs into the box, sitting beside him. While everyone else was playing in the playground, you and your new friend were by yourselves, playing in said sandbox, trying to make sand castles.

You went home that day telling your mum about the nice boy you met, getting all excited about your new friend. Your mum smiled down at you, seeing you all happy. You were excited to hang out with your new friend when you go to school tomorrow, and for the future days ahead.

As you grew older and you hit the age of 12, you and Jaemin were finally both neighbours. You used to live a few minutes away from each other, but his family ended up moving right next door, which you absolutely loved. You went to the same middle school, catching the bus together, both of your mums seeing you two off each morning.

You were never seen without the other, unless you were home. Then again, you’d hang out after school too. Sometimes, you’d even have dinner together at each other's houses. Like for example, every Saturday, you either go to Jaemin’s house or Jaemin goes to your for dinner, and it rotates every week.

As you got older and got through high school, your mental health decreased due to exams and stress, and it put you into depression. Luckily Jaemin was there to help you. He didn’t really care about his own mental health since he cared more about you than anything else. Whenever you were having a breakdown, Jaemin was there. When you couldn’t handle studying and just wanted to get away, Jaemin was there, and he would take you somewhere quiet. You were thankful for Jaemin during that time in high school, and he was thankful for you too, but you never actually told each other that, but you didn’t need to.

As you both hit 18 and you were in your last year of high school, you couldn’t be happier. You couldn’t wait to graduate and apply for your university of choice, and hopefully get your dream job. Jaemin, however, wasn’t as excited as you. You could tell the moment you stepped out of your house one morning and saw him.

It was a warm, breezy Saturday morning during the middle of March and you were going to spend the day with Jaemin, as usual. You skipped out of the house, a smile on your face. That smile soon faded as soon as you saw Jaemin, who had a small frown on his face.

“What’s with the frown?”, you asked as soon as you were standing in front of him, Jaemin’s hands in his pockets. “Oh it’s nothing”, he said, not sounding convincing, making you frown. “Come on, you know you can tell me, you know? It’s obviously something since it has you frowning”, you said as you were walking along the pavement. Jaemin sighed because he knows you’re right.

“It’s just… it’s our last year in high school and, what if we don’t end up in the same university? What if I never see you again? You’re literally the only friend I’ve ever had and I don’t want that to end”, Jaemin said, his voice sounding sad. It looked like he was about to cry so you didn’t even think before you hugged him, startling him. But he didn’t push you away. In fact, he brought you closer as he ended up crying into the crook of your neck.

You stayed like that for a while, just standing there while Jaemin cried. His crying finally ceased, sniffles escaping him. He lifted his head from your neck and looked at you, his bottom lip quivering a bit. “You ok, now?”, you asked him, to which he nodded his head. “Whatever happens in the future, we won’t lose contact, ok? Remember the promise we both made?”, you said as you put your pinky out, making him smile.

He linked your pinkies together and said, “best friends forever”, and you both giggled. “Whether we both go to the same university, or different ones, I won’t forget you. You’re too cute to forget”, you said without thinking, making Jaemin blush. “Y-you think I’m cute?”he asked as you widened your eyes. “I uh- bye”, you said as you ran off, Jaemin running after you.

The day went on as normal, the incident of calling Jaemin cute long forgotten. You did nothing extreme, just went to the park and talked about anything that came to your mind. You have other friends, but none of them make you laugh or smile as much as Jaemin.

It was graduation day, and you were feeling nervous, yet excited. You were in the middle of getting yourself ready, your outfit laid out on your bed. You were sitting at your vanity table, putting makeup on when you heard a knock at your door. You gave the person a signal that they could come in, and the door opened, revealing Jaemin. He was dressed in a simple black suit, and his pink hair was slicked back. You would be lying if you didn’t think he looked handsome because honestly, when you saw him, your breath hitched.

You didn’t realise you were staring until you heard a chuckle, making you come out of your trance. “You were staring. You think I’m attractive or something?”Jaemin smirked at you, wiggling his eyebrows, earning a scoff from you. “No, I just have never seen you in a suit before”, you said. You weren’t lying, you’ve never seen him in a suit before. You did find him attractive but if you told Jaemin that, you’d never hear the end of it.

You continued doing your makeup as Jaemin sat on your bed, making sure not to sit on your clothes. He noticed the black dress lying on your bed, along with your black heel. “Have we unintentionally matched our clothes?”, Jaemin asked as he let out a chuckle, looking at you as you did your makeup. You then realised what he just said: you both are wearing all black to your graduation. 

“I swear I didn’t stalk you, I just love wearing black”, you said, still focusing on doing your eyeliner. “Babes, I’m messing with you”, Jaemin laughed, the sudden pet name leaving his mouth. That gave you butterflies in your stomach for some reason, but you didn’t think much of it.

You were finally done getting yourself ready, slipping on your black heels. You looked at yourself in the mirror and made sure you were happy with how you looked. You smiled and turned around, grabbing your graduation hat and robes, which were ironically black too. They weren’t all black though. They had stripes of red along the seams.

You both finally left to go to your graduation, Jaemin driving you both to the school. Luckily it was only a 10 minute drive, so you didn’t need to rush. Besides, the graduation doesn’t actually start for another 30 minutes, but it’s good to be there early.

As soon as you arrived, Jaemin parked the car and you both got out. You both walked towards the school side by side, people’s eyes on you. Whenever people saw you together, they thought you were a couple with how close you were, but you always told them that you’re best friends, nothing more.

Jaemin had his camera around his neck, you remember his words a few days ago that he ‘wanted to take pictures because it would be a nice memory’. The camera was given to him by his mum for his 17th birthday, and he was over the moon with it. She remembered hearing him mention something along the lines of wanting to start doing photography, and that gave her the idea of buying him a camera.

You walked into the school, seeing your other school friends all dressed up too. You smiled as you walked over to them, Jaemin walking to a different group of people to say hello. You greeted them with a smile, creating small talk before the graduation event starts.

You spoke to them for about 10 minutes, before meeting up with Jaemin again and heading towards where the graduation ceremony was being held. You went inside the hall where everyone else was going, and sat down in your designated seats. Luckily your seats were next to each other, which made you happy.

The ceremony went smoothly. Everyone got awarded a certificate for different subjects and clubs they participated in. Jaemin got awarded in performing arts and music, whereas you got awarded in English Literature. 

After you all got your certificates and celebrated by throwing your hats in the air, you went and chatted with your friends and your parents both congratulated you on graduating high school. They both hugged you and, without your knowledge, Jaemin took a picture on his camera. He thought you looked really cute, with your big smile and your robes on.

Throughout the rest of the graduation ceremony, Jaemin took lots of pictures on his camera, but they were mainly of you. Some candid pictures which he would treasure for the rest of his life. He hopes that you two would be by each other's side until you grow old, not wanting to let you out of his life. You’re too precious to him for him to let you leave. He hopes that you feel the same way.

A few days later, you and Jaemin are sitting outside your house, holding an envelope in your hands. The envelope will determine whether or not you have gotten into your dream university.

“You first”, Jaemin said, nodding towards the envelope in your hands. You opened it carefully, before pulling out the piece of paper that was inside. You glanced at it, and your eyes lit up. “I GOT IN”, you squealed out of joy, and hugged Jaemin. He hugged you back tightly, happy that you got in. 

“Open yours now, I wanna know if you got in or not”, you jumped up and down impatiently. Jaemin opened the envelope and pulled out the piece of paper. He looked at it and frowned. You saw him frowning, and felt yourself tearing up, preparing for the worst. 

“Oh no”, Jaemin sighed, and you felt your heart break. “I guess you’re going to have to put up with me a little while longer”, Jaemin smirked as he teased you, earning a light hit on his chest. “Yah, don’t do that”, you said, pretending to be mad at him. Jaemin could see right through you though as he softly smiled at you.

You hugged him tightly, glad that you’re going to the same university. You suddenly felt yourself start to cry out of happiness, crying into his shoulder. Jaemin then felt himself start to cry too, crying with you. You stayed like that for a while, just crying with each other. Both of your parents came out of the house, seeing the both of you crying. 

They were both about to ask you if you were ok, until you pulled away from each other and they saw your smiles. They immediately knew what that meant, feeling happy for the both of you. 

For the next few weeks, you put all your things in boxes ready to go to university. Clothes, makeup, books, all your necessities. If you end up forgetting something, you could always just buy something from a shop nearby the university building. 

It’s finally the day that you and Jaemin leave for university, and both of your parents are crying. They mention how much they are going to miss you and that they hope you enjoy your time at university. Thankfully Jaemin’s car is big enough to fit all your stuff in so you put both yours and Jaemin stuff in the trunk of the car, and some in the backseat. You both got in the car, and waved goodbye to yours and Jaemin’s parents, the sound of their voices getting quieter as Jaemin drove off.

The journey from Jeonju-si to Seoul is just over 2 hours, so you left pretty early in the morning to ensure you got there on time. Throughout the journey, you and Jaemin jammed out to music on the radio, turning the music up loud. You had snacks to snack on during the journey so you wouldn’t need to buy any food along the way.

You finally arrived, the university building coming into view. You got excited, a huge smile on your face. Jaemin found a place to park his car and stopped the engine. You both got out and went inside the university building, seeing other students congregating together. 

The whole day was just spent going round the building, a woman who looked like she was in her mid 30’s showing you where different rooms were, and where you needed to be for your specific course. You were going to be an English major, while Jaemin was doing performing arts and music, which were thankfully in the same building as each other.

You were shown to your dormitory, and you looked around your dorm room. It was bigger than you expected it to be, and it felt nice and cosy. As you were looking round the room, the door suddenly opened, startling you. You turned around and saw a girl who looked your age, her dark brown hair tied up in a ponytail. She seemed nice but only one way to find out if she is, is by talking to her.

“Hello, you must be my roommate. I’m y/n”, you said as you put your hand out, waiting for her to shake it. She stared at your hand for a moment, which made you feel awkward so you retracted your hand back. “I don’t do handshakes, I’m more comfortable with hugs. Are you ok with hugs? I’ve been told that I’m huggable”, she said, which made you smile. You’re glad that she loves hugs because you’re the same.

You hugged her and she wrapped her arms around you and she was absolutely right. The hug felt really warm and you felt comfortable. You pulled away from her and took a step back. “I’m Yeji”, she said with a smile. You hope that you two will be really good friends during your time in university.

In the boys dormitory, Jaemin looked around his room and was waiting for his roommate. The door suddenly opened and in came a boy who looked around his age. He had a mole under his eye and he had a sharp jaw. Jaemin was starstrucked seeing this individual, and he was kind of awkward when meeting new people for the first time so he didn’t think when the next few words came out of his mouth.

“You remind me of a samoyed”

Jaemin’s eyes widened as soon as he realised the words that left his mouth and he felt embarrassed. Luckily though, the boy in front of him thought that was cute and he smiled. His eyes turned into crescents as he made the cutest eye smile ever. 

“I’ve actually heard that a lot”, the boy said, making Jaemin look at him. “I’m Jeno by the way”, Jeno said with a smile. Jaemin notices that Jeno is literally the human embodiment of the sun, since he’s glowing, the sun coming in through the window and hitting his face.

“I’m Jaemin”, Jaemin replied back with a soft smile. He got more and more comfortable with Jeno the more they spoke, hoping they would be friends for a really long time. They both left their room to go and collect their things, getting to know each other more along the way.

You and Yeji also did the same, leaving your rooms and heading down together. You realised just how funny Yeji is as Yeji made y/n laugh without even trying, a huge smile on their faces. You reached Jaemin’s car and you smiled when you saw him taking his stuff out, grabbing your stuff from the back seat.

You’re not sure how long it took you to bring all your stuff to your dorm room, but you’re glad that everything is now in the room. You sighed and sat on your bed, before lying down. You would put your things away once you’ve had a rest, but also making sure that you don’t fall asleep in the process.

The first few weeks of university were easy. They were basically just introducing you to your course and preparing you for what you were going to expect to learn, and so on. You were glad that you didn’t go straight into the course since it was all new to you, so you felt less stressed about everything.

Well, they say that the more you progress, the tougher something becomes. And they were right.

You’re now in your third year of university, and you’ve not long turned 21. Jaemin threw you a surprise birthday party, and Yeji and Jeno were there, along with other people who you have spoken to. To say you got drunk would be an understatement. You got so wasted, you couldn’t even walk in a straight line. You were thankful that Jaemin and Yeji helped you back to your dorm. Once you were in your dorm room, you immediately went to the bathroom and threw your guts up. 

You don’t even know how long you were throwing up for, but it felt like an eternity. Yeji rubbed your back up and down, moving your hair out of the way. You eventually finished throwing your guts up and brushed your teeth, then drank a full glass of water and took some painkillers. You didn’t even bother getting changed as you flopped on your bed and immediately fell asleep.

When you woke up, your head was killing you as you winced in pain. You realised you were in different clothes from the night before. You also found out that you didn’t have any makeup on anymore. 

“Good morning, sleepyhead. Here’s a glass of water along with some painkillers for your headache”, Yeji said as she gave you the water and the pills. You put the pills in your mouth and took a big gulp of water, swallowing the pills. After finishing the glass of water, you noticed a bouquet of roses in a vase on the window sill, the red catching your eye.

Yeji looked at where you were looking and smiled. “They’re from Jaemin. He called me as soon as you fell asleep and gave them to me. Said he wanted to give them to you after the party, but you were too wasted”, Yeji said as she giggled. You mentioned in your first year of university that your favourite flower was roses. 

You also thought that someone else might have found out about that as, every Valentine’s Day during your time at university, you received roses from a secret admirer, which you thought nothing of. That was until Valentine's in your third year though. A random boy with honey skin and moles on his neck gave you a rose, smiled and ran away from you. You thought it was cute and kept the rose, but you didn’t see him the rest of the day. Hell, you didn’t even know his name.

“What time is it?”, you asked as soon as you got up, trying to find your phone. You looked everywhere, being unable to find it, until Yeji handed it to you. “It’s 10am”, Yeji said casually, making you widen your eyes. “And you didn’t bother waking me up?”, you said feeling rather annoyed, but Yeji just shrugged her shoulders.

“You looked peaceful so I didn’t want to wake you up. Plus we don’t have lectures until 1pm”, Yeji said, making you sigh out of relief. You were worried that you ended up missing your morning lectures, until Yeji reminded you that you have afternoon lectures on Thursdays.

“What do you want to do before lectures start? Because there’s this really cool cafe that’s just opened near campus and I want to check it out”, you said as you entered the bathroom, going to do your usual morning routine.

Since it was warm outside, you opted for a cute blouse and a pair of shorts. You put some light makeup on and put your hair into a ponytail. You grabbed your purse, phone and keys, and left your dorm room, Yeji following behind you.

Luckily the cafe was within walking distance so you didn’t need to get the bus. Plus it was a nice day out so the walk was nice. You reached the cafe, opening the door. The little bell rang, making your presence known throughout the cafe.

You looked around the cafe, seeing a couple of people scattered around throughout the cafe. University students drinking their drink of choice as they type away on a laptop, a young couple sitting in a corner holding hands while smiling at each other, a frantic looking businessman who looks like he’s on the verge of a breakdown as he quickly types something on his laptop. Apart from that, it was rather quiet since it’s midmorning. 

You both went up to the counter and the barista took your orders, grabbed a breakfast sandwich as you both paid for your orders, and went to sit down near the window. You both started eating your sandwiches, making sounds of content as the taste of bacon and egg hit your taste buds. 

As you took another bite, the sound of the barista announcing that your orders were ready, Yeji getting up to collect them, thanking the barista and heading back to your table, giving you your drink. You finished chewing the food in your mouth, swallowing it before taking a sip of your iced coffee. The caramel iced coffee hits your taste buds, making you smile in content.

You finished eating the rest of your sandwich, shoving the rest of it in your mouth. The sound of the bell rang, indicating that someone else came into the cafe. You turned around, your cheeks full as you chewed the rest of your sandwich, and your eyes widened as you saw who walked in. You nearly choked on your food, but thankfully stopped yourself.

The honey skin, the noticeable moles on his neck. He was wearing all black and his hair was fluffy and messy. It was the same guy who gave you a rose on Valentine’s Day. You didn’t realise you were staring until the guy looked at you, giving you a smirk and a wink, making you turn around.

“He’s the same guy who gave me a rose on Valentine’s Day. Only, he was shy then. He seems different now”, you said, now looking at Yeji. “That’s him?”Yeji said as she pointed at said guy. You nodded and she sighed, sitting back in her chair. You looked at her confused, wondering what the sigh was about.

“That’s Lee Haechan. He used to be this sweet, nice guy. That was before his ex broke his heart, and now he’s kind of a heartbreaker. He’s a massive flirt”, Yeji says, you turning around to look at him again, seeing him collecting his drink and paying the barista.

He looked at you before leaving, giving you a cheeky smirk and winked at you again, and left the cafe. You know you should listen to what Yeji said, Haechan being a heartbreaker and a massive flirt. But you just can’t help the butterflies in your stomach. You’ve never felt like this before. Well, if you’re going to be honest, you have felt like this before, but you sort of pushed that at the back of your mind since you’re sure that the person doesn’t like you back, so you forgot about those feelings.

You and Yeji both left the cafe, heading back to your dormitory. You drank the rest of your iced coffee, the breeze hitting your face. You couldn’t seem to take Haechan off your mind, no matter how hard you tried.

You reached your dormitory, heading up to your dorm room to collect your things you needed for your afternoon lectures. You made sure you had everything before leaving, locking the door behind you.

You reached your class, going inside the room and sitting in your designated seat. Yeji sat beside you and got her stuff out, following suit. You were a bit early so you just had a casual conversation. You mentioned how Jaemin texted you before, asking you if you wanted to hang out after your classes.

You notice someone else walking into the class, and you froze. It was Haechan. He’s the same major as you? Why haven’t you seen him in your classes before?

Throughout the lesson, you kept looking over at Haechan, not paying attention to the teacher. You were in a daydream, staring at him. Yeji noticed you staring at him so she nudged you in the side, making you look at her. She mouthed something to you along the lines of ‘stop staring at him’ and you just denied it, even though you were basically caught staring at him.

After 3 long hours, the lecture was finally over. You packed up your stuff and headed out the classroom and texted Jaemin that you’re on your way to meet him. As you sent the text, you accidentally bumped into someone. You looked up and saw the one person who wouldn’t leave your mind. Lee Haechan. He was smirking down at you before he picked up your phone, giving it back to you. You didn’t even realise you dropped it.

“Be careful, doll”, his voice was soft and put you in a trance, wanting to listen to his voice all day long. “Sorry”, you said quietly, but still loud enough for him to hear you. He was only a few inches taller than you, but you still felt intimidated by him for some reason. That was until his usual smirk turned into a smile. His smile was so beautiful and contagious, you felt yourself smiling back at him.

Outside, Jaemin was waiting for you to come out, sitting on a bench. He sat there for a few minutes, checking his phone every now and then. He soon saw you walking out, smiling to himself. That was until he saw you walking with someone he heard bad stories about. The stories about how, after he was heartbroken by his ex, he turned into a heartbreaker and broke girls (and boys) hearts.

You saw Jaemin and bid your goodbyes to Haechan, running over to Jaemin. The first thing he asked you when you reached him was, “why were you with Haechan? He’s a heartbreaker”. 

“He’s not that bad. He’s actually really sweet”, you reassured Jaemin and his worries, telling him that you’ll be ok and he won’t hurt you. The subject was then dropped and Jaemin asked you where you wanted to go to hang out, but your next words made him frown.

“Actually uhm, I was wondering if we could rain check? I know this is all so sudden but, Haechan asked me if I wanted to get a coffee with him and talk about this project we have to do for English”, you said, your voice full of guilt. You really wanted to hang out with Jaemin but Haechan insisted that you talk about the English project you have to do.

Jaemin put on a fake smile and told you it’s fine, you hugging him before running off to Haechan again. He saw you two walking off campus, a frown on his face. He then texted Jeno asking him if he was free, which luckily he was, so he asked him if he wanted to hang out instead.

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You and Haechan were sitting opposite each other in a coffee shop, debating what topics you should do for your English project. You sipped on your drink as Haechan rambled on. “I think the topic of how gender roles are portrayed in novels sounds really interesting, so I think I might do that one”, Haechan finished rambling on as he took a sip of his drink, the iced chocolate drink hitting the back of his throat.

“I don’t know, I kind of like the historical sides of novels and what types of themes are used in them”, you said, Haechan nodding at you. You carried on talking about the English project for a bit longer, wanting to ensure you were both certain on the topics you chose for the project. 

You then talked about something else, wanting to get to know more about Haechan. You found out that he loves skateboarding and watching horror movies, and that he hates coffee. You realised just how funny and sweet he is, you don’t see a heartbreaker at all in front of you. In the short amount of time you’ve been with him, you’ve fallen for him. Hard. And you don’t want to get up.

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Over the next couple of weeks, you’ve drifted away from Jaemin as you hung out with Haechan more. He even asked you out, to which you said yes. Even Yeji noticed how distant you’ve become, spending less time in your dorm and more time with Haechan. The times that you are in your dorm though, you only talk about Haechan and how much of a sweetheart he is.

Well, that whole ‘sweetheart’ act began to change after your second month of dating. You saw all the changes in his demeanour, the once sweet guy was replaced with a cold and hurtful man. You literally had to tell him where you were going, even if it was just to go to the shops, scared that Haechan would find out and end up hurting you. He hasn’t hurt you physically, it was mainly verbal or mental.

Though, this time, you forgot to tell him where you were going, your stress making you forget. You were craving chocolate so you headed to the nearest convenience store, wrapping yourself up in your coat since it was a cold, winter evening. You headed inside, going towards where the chocolate and sweets were. You looked at the different chocolate bars, finally choosing your favourite one as soon as you found it. You also bought yourself a bottle of wine, hoping to share it with Yeji. You feel really guilty for being distant lately, so you wanted to have a drink with her.

You headed to the counter and paid for the items. The cashier put your items in a bag for you and you grabbed the bag off them, thanking them before leaving again. You walked back outside into the cold, heading back towards your dorm. 

As you got near your dorm, you saw Haechan and panic rose up inside you. You realised that you forgot to tell him where you were going, and now you were going to suffer the consequences. Unfortunately there was no one else about, it was just you two, so you had to deal with whatever was going to happen to you.

“I’ve been calling you and you didn’t answer. Why didn’t you tell me where you were going? You were supposed to tell me, remember? Or are you just that stupid, you fucking forgot? Huh? Answer me!”, Haechan said rather loudly, but not shouting, as he ended up gripping your hair.

“I-i’m sorry, I’ve just been so stressed lately, I forgot. I won’t do it again, I promise”, you winced as his grip got tighter. He soon let go of you, and you sighed out of relief. But that relief soon went as you felt a stinging sensation across your cheek. Haechan had slapped you.

You held your cheek, tears welling up in your eyes as you stared at Haechan. You didn’t even recognise him anymore. The sparkle had gone from his eyes, his smile was no longer there and his warm heart had turned to stone. He was a completely different person, and you hated him.

Haechan just left you there, heading back to his dorm room, his silhouette disappearing into the distance. You ran towards your dorm building, going inside. The warmth hit your face, stinging your now reddened cheek. You headed towards the elevator, pressing the button. You waited for the doors to open as tears rolled down your cheeks.

The doors opened with a ping, alerting you as you got inside. You pressed the button to go to your floor as the doors closed. You were a sobbing mess as you leaned against the wall. Though when the doors opened again, you composed yourself and pretended you weren’t just crying your eyes out, heading towards your dorm room.

You fumbled with your keys, eventually putting them into the keyhole. You unlocked the door, shutting the door as soon as you were inside. You rested your head against the door, finally able to catch your breath.

“y/n?”, Yeji said, her voice coming from behind you. You put a fake smile on your face before turning around. “Hey Yeji. I went to the shops to buy myself some chocolate since I was craving some. I also bought a bottle of wine as an apology for me being distant lately”, you said as you took your coat and shoes off, hung your coat up and put your shoes on the shoe rack. You put your slippers on and walk past Yeji, walking into the kitchen.

Yeji stood next to you and stared at you, making you feel uncomfortable. You were about to tell her to stop until her words made you freeze. “What happened to your cheek?”, she asked. You stuttered for a moment before you made up an excuse. “I hit my cheek against a door as I opened it”, you replied, hoping you sounded believable.

Yeji gave you a look, but didn’t say anything. You put your chocolate in the fridge (you prefer your chocolate cold) and Yeji got two wine glasses out of the cupboard. You both sat down, pouring the wine into the two glasses.

Yeji was talking about something but you couldn’t focus. You kept thinking about what happened before with Haechan, and how scared you were at that moment. You wanted to end the relationship before it got worse, but you were scared. What if Haechan hurts you really badly? What if he doesn’t let you leave? What if-

“y/n!”, Yeji said, shaking your shoulder. You snapped out of your daze, looking at her. “Huh?”, you said confusedly, looking round the room for no reason. “You zoned out. Are you sure you’re ok?”, she asked as she looked at you, running a hand up and down your arm to try and calm you down.

You then felt yourself crying, the empty wine glass now on the table as you curled up into a ball in your seat. Yeji’s eyes widened as she put her glass down, going over to you and wrapping her arms around you. The both of you stayed like that for about 5 minutes, making sure you calmed down before she spoke again.

“You want to tell me what’s wrong? And where that mark on your cheek really came from?”, Yeji said, fearing for what the answer was going to be. “I went to the store to get some chocolate and wine, like I told you before. But, uhm, I’m supposed to tell Haechan where I’m going every time I go out but this time, I forget. And when I’m near the dorms, I see him”, you explained, feeling yourself about to cry again. Yeji comforted you and told you to carry on.

“He yelled at me and called me stupid for forgetting and then he slapped me”, you said, feeling Yeji’s grip on your arm getting tighter. Yeji felt anger bubbling up inside her, wanting Haechan to pay for what he did to you. “Does Jaemin know anything about this?”Yeji asked you. You shook your head, having been too scared to say anything to Jaemin, just in case Haechan finds out and does something drastic.

“We need to tell him. And I’m going to pay that bastard a visit. No one, and I mean NO ONE, puts their hands on any of my friends”, Yeji said as she got up, but you stopped her. “No please. Please don’t. I don’t want you getting hurt”, you pleaded, wanting her to sit back down. She listened to you and sat back down, holding your hand, squeezing it.

“I’m going to meet up with Haechan tomorrow and try to break up with him. I can’t do this anymore. I’m tired”, you said as your eyes started to flutter close, tiredness coming over you. Yeji got you up and made sure you didn’t fall as she helped you towards your bed. You got changed into your pyjamas and headed into bed, almost falling asleep straight away. 

As soon as you fell asleep, Yeji tucked you into bed and got ready for bed herself. She had younger siblings who she looked after when her parents weren’t home due to work, so her parental instincts kick in automatically. She laid down, staring up at the ceiling, her anger still there as she thinks about what she’s going to do to Haechan when she sees him.

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It was a cold Saturday afternoon, and Jaemin walked along the pavement, his camera in his hand as Jeno walked next to him. They were talking about nonsense, mainly about how they hated the cold weather and wanted the warmer weather to come sooner.

Jaemin took pictures on his camera, admiring the scenery around him. He took some funny pictures of Jeno now and then, catching him off guard. Since it had been snowing, Jeno accidentally slipped on a bit of ice, Jaemin taking a picture of him mid fall. He couldn’t help it, he just looked really funny. He did help him up though. After laughing for a good few minutes.

They saw a fountain in the distance, and saw two people standing near it. Jaemin looked through his camera and zoomed in. He realised it was Haechan and y/n. He put his camera down and frowned, which Jeno noticed. Jeno saw where Jaemin was looking, and saw why he frowned. 

They thought you and Haechan were having a normal conversation, but that’s not what you were having. You were actually trying your hardest not to break down in public, since there were other people around you. You took in a deep breath and the seven words finally left your mouth.

“I want to break up with you”

Jaemin and Jeno continued looking at you and Haechan, and were about to leave. That was until Jaemin saw Haechan lift his hand up, and hit you across the face. He hit you once, twice, three times across the face. Jaemin and Jeno ran over to you and Jeno grabbed Haechan, tackling him to the ground. Jaemin held you as you cried into his chest, holding you gently. People were looking at the commotion, wondering whether to help or not.

Jeno lifted Haechan up off the ground, gripping his arms. “Don’t even think about touching her ever again, otherwise you’ll suffer the consequences. Actually, you’re going to suffer the consequences right now. How about you get charged for domestic abuse, huh? What kind of person do you have to be to do that to your own partner? You fucking disgusting bitch”, Jeno spat, threatening to take Haechan to the police.

Haechan just shrugged him off and walked off, people giving him dirty looks. Jeno looked at you as you were clinging on to Jaemin for your dear life, crying into his chest. Jaemin was sitting on the floor, not caring about the ice or snow, he only cared about you. 

“I-i’m sorry”, you managed to say through your tears, gripping onto Jaemin’s coat. He looked at you confused, wondering why you were apologising. “It’s my fault that this happened. I should have listened to you b-but I didn’t and I got myself hurt”, you cried even harder, finding it hard to breathe. 

Jaemin held your face in his hands gently, making you look at him. He breathed in and out, hoping you would copy him, which you did. Your breathing went back to normal after a couple of minutes, your tears stopped.

“Don’t say that, ok? It’s not your fault”, Jaemin said, bringing you in for a hug, wrapping his arms around you. You reciprocated the hug, snuggling into him. Jeno stood there looking at you two, and he smiled, knowing that you’re not with that asshole anymore. Though it’s going to take you a while to get back to your happy self, and they are going to stick with you no matter what.

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It took you around a month and a half until you were smiling again. Not faking a smile, but smiling for real. You were still hurting though, but you had your friends by your side to help you.

It was coming up to Valentine’s Day and you were hoping you weren’t going to receive anything from him. You were dreading it and you didn’t want to run into him again. You haven’t seen him since that day, which you were glad about, but you still get paranoid that he will turn up again and ruin your life.

You finished your morning lectures and had the rest of the day off, so you texted Jaemin asking him if he was free and wanted to hang out. You were walking with Yeji, talking about nothing in particular. Your phone dinged, indicating that you got a reply back. Your smile that was on your face disappeared as you saw his text. 

Unfortunately he wasn’t free. He mentioned that he’s been talking with someone from his class, and they have a date. You weren’t the jealous type, but something inside you twisted as you felt your heart drop.

Yeji saw the change in your mood, and took a glance at your phone. She felt sorry for you and had an idea. Whenever you’re in a shitty mood, she always takes you shopping since that seems to cheer you up 9 times out of 10. You liked the idea of going shopping so you agreed immediately. You both walked out of the building and walked off campus, heading towards the nearest bus stop.

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You spent the rest of the day shopping, forgetting about the fact that Jaemin is going on a date. You bought some cute clothes, and some new heels which you fell in love with the moment you saw them. 

You were currently sitting on a bench, Yeji opposite you, as you munched on some food you bought. Yeji was telling you about a guy that she’s been talking to and hopefully will be seeing more of. You felt really happy for her, seeing her smiling over someone. She mentioned his name, Renjun you think his name was, and the way she was talking about him was really cute.

You took a bite of your jam doughnut, relishing in the taste. You swallowed the piece of doughnut, about to take another bite, until you saw Jaemin and the girl he was on a date with, and your heart stopped.

The girl he was on a date with was beautiful. Her long dark hair, her amazing figure, her perfect skin. You stopped eating your doughnut and just stared at it. You’ll admit, you're not the skinniest but you’ve never been insecure about your figure or appearance. You’ve always been rather confident about yourself but now, you’re not so sure. 

Yeji saw the change in your mood, and looked over to see Jaemin with some girl. You felt yourself tearing up and a few tears fell down your face. “Ok that’s it, let's go”, Yeji said as she stood up, finishing her food and grabbed the bags of stuff she bought. You didn’t say anything as you put the rest of your food in the bin, and grabbed your own bags.

You followed Yeji, not knowing where she was going, but you didn’t really care, you just wanted to get away. Yeji has something in mind, which she hopes you’ll like. She knows you like plushies (since you have a couple on your bed) so she was going to buy you one.

You continued following Yeji, your mind still distracted. You walk for a few more minutes until you realise where Yeji has taken you. You saw a big shop which was full of plushies and you then looked at Yeji with big eyes. She smiled at you and nodded for you to go inside. You rushed inside and looked at all the cute plushies.

You looked at all the plushies in the store, not knowing which one you were going to pick. You already had a penguin plush, a bunny, a puppy and a bear. You soon saw a baby chick plushie, the massive yellow plush catching your attention. You headed towards it and picked it up, hugging it to your chest. Yeji saw you hugging the plush, and said she would pay for it for you, saying it was ‘her treat and you deserve to be happy’.

For the rest of the day, you just walked around before deciding to head back to campus, the both of you feeling tired. You headed towards the bus stop, waiting for the bus to arrive. Luckily it arrived a few minutes later and you both got on, scanning your tickets and sitting down.

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Back in your dorm room, you put your bags on the floor and threw yourself on your bed. You laid down, staring at the ceiling, and started thinking about Jaemin. Are your feelings for him starting to resurface? You couldn’t keep it to yourself anymore, so you thought it would be best to tell Yeji about it.

“Yeji, can I tell you something?”, you asked, looking over at Yeji. She looked up from her phone and a ‘hmm’ sound left her mouth. “I think my feelings for Jaemin are resurfacing and I’m scared”, you confessed, now sitting up. Yeji’s eyes widened at your confession, putting her phone down.

“Why are you scared?”Yeji asked, all of her focus now on you. You took a deep breath before continuing. “What if Jaemin doesn’t feel the same way? I mean, he’s on a date with that beautiful, perfect girl he was with today, so I’m pretty sure he doesn’t like me in that way. Have you seen me?”, your insecurities were playing up now as you felt yourself about to break down into tears.

Yeji was now sitting next to you as she made you look at her. “Hey, you are beautiful in your own way. You don’t need to change for anyone, let alone Jaemin. So don’t think like that”, Yeji said softly but sternly, a single tear rolling down your cheek. You wiped it away as you nodded at her words, thankful that you have a friend like her you can rely on.

Over the next few weeks, you hardly saw Jaemin. The times you did see him though, he was with the girl he was dating. You found out her name was Jessi and she can be a bit of a bitch. You’ve spoken to her once and she wasn’t the nicest. You were going to talk to Jaemin, but Jessi saw you and stopped you, telling you he doesn’t want to talk to you or see you. You didn’t like the way she spoke to you so, in the nicest way possible, you told her to fuck off.

The first time you saw Jaemin and Jessi together, Jaemin looked happy. But now, whenever you see them together, he seems different. He didn’t seem like himself and lost his smile. You hated seeing him like that, and you were sure it was because of Jessi.

You were on your way back to your dorm when you heard Jaemin calling you. You turned around and saw him walking over to you, his hands in his pockets. You stopped walking and smiled. “Hey stranger”, you said with a giggle, but Jaemin didn’t smile back. Now you are worried. 

“What’s wrong?”, you asked, the worry evident in your voice. Has Jessi done something to him? What’s going on? “I’m sorry it had to come to this but, we can’t be friends anymore, so goodbye y/n”, Jaemin said with a frown. He didn’t give you a chance to say anything before he walked off, going into the direction of his dorm.

You just stood there, feeling numb. Your best friend since childhood has just told you he doesn’t want to be friends with you anymore? Now you were confused as fuck. You ran towards your dorm and headed straight to your dorm room, slamming the door behind you as you broke down in tears.

Yeji wasn’t going to be back until later since she’s going on a date with Renjun, so you had no one to talk to. Well, except Jeno but you’re sure Jaemin will be with Jeno so you didn’t want to bother him.

You laid on your bed, crying for what felt like hours. You hurt all over and feel sick to your stomach. You’ve lost your best friend and the person you’ve loved for ages, and you don’t know what to do. You felt lost and hopeless, and you just wanted to go somewhere peaceful, away from everything.

In Jaemin and Jeno’s room, Jaemin was sitting on his bed while Jeno was pacing around. “You really did that? Bro, how fucking stupid are you?”, Jeno said as he glared at Jaemin. Jaemin didn’t say anything as the guilt was eating him up. He wanted to scream, cry, punch something, but he couldn’t do anything.

“You know she’s toxic, bro. I’m worried for you, and I’m scared something is going to happen to you if you don’t leave her. Plus, you said yourself that you like y/n, right?”Jeno said, Jaemin now looking at him. Jaemin nodded and realised that he does love you. He started crying, scared that he fucked up and you now hate him.

Jeno stood there, feeling bad for his friend. He’s not the best at comforting people but he still hugged him, Jaemin hugging him back. “I’m not sure if this will make you feel any better but, I overheard someone saying that there’s a party at the weekend being held at one of the frat houses off campus. You wanna come?”, Jeno said, hearing the sniffles escaping Jaemin. He felt the boy nod, which made Jeno smile. Hopefully having a few drinks will take his mind off things.

Back in your room, you were throwing up in the toilet, still crying as you continued to vomit. You literally cried to the point of making yourself sick, and you hated yourself. Suddenly, the sound of your door opening alerted you as you finally finished throwing up, flushing the toilet and brushing your teeth.

You headed out the bathroom and saw Yeji, who’s hair was a mess. “What the fuck happened to you?”, you asked, and then you saw the hickeys on her neck. “Did Renjun fuck you or something”, you joking said, not thinking too much of it.

“He did, actually”, she said, making you widen your eyes. You looked at her and gave her a look, which made her laugh. “Anyway, moving on. Why were you throwing up? Are you sick? Have you been crying?”Yeji asked question after question, not giving you a chance to answer.

You thought long and hard before you gave her an answer, explaining what happened before with Jaemin, and how he doesn’t want to be your best friend anymore. You also told her how you’ve been feeling because of everything that’s happened and how you’re feeling lost and hopeless, and you don’t know what to do.

Yeji was shocked when you told her about what Jaemin said. She knows Jaemin would never do that on his own terms, so she has a feeling who is behind all this. Anger bubbles up inside of her, hating to see one of her friends hurting, again.

“Tell you what. Renjun is throwing a party at his frat house at the weekend and I’m going, do you wanna come with? Take your mind off things?”Yeji suggested, hoping you would take up the offer. You thought about it and eventually agreed, wanting to drink your sorrows away, but you didn’t tell her that.

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Saturday came sooner than you expected, and you’re wondering what to wear for the party. You weren’t sure if you wanted to wear something casual and cute, or wear something out of your comfort zone. You were looking at the red, tight fit dress you bought a couple of weeks ago and opted to wear that with a pair of black heels.

You went for a quick shower before getting ready, doing your hair and makeup. You were soon done as Yeji came into the room, already dressed (since she stayed over at Renjuns, she got ready there). 

“Everyone’s eyes will be looking at you tonight, you look hot”, Yeji exaggerated the word ‘hot’ as you laughed at her reaction, feeling confident about yourself at that moment. “Hey, before we leave, shall we drink some wine first? You know, since there’s some left”, you said as you got the wine out of the cupboard, taking a big gulp of the drink before handing the rest of it to Yeji.

You left the dormitory, walking off campus towards where the party was held. Thankfully Yeji knows where it is so you don’t have to worry about getting lost. You got there after around 10 minutes, walking straight into the house. There were already people who were drunk and it was only 5pm. People making out and sweaty bodies pushed up against each other as you pushed your way through the crowd. 

You went straight towards where the alcohol is, pouring yourself a drink in a red cup, downing it. The vodka burned the back of your throat as you hissed, before getting another one. You had about 3 drinks before you put the cup down, wanting to dance to the music that was blasting through the speakers.

You danced on your own while Yeji went to find Renjun, wanting you to meet him. You were just enjoying the buzz, getting lost in the music. You opened your eyes and that’s when you saw him. Jaemin. Except, he was with Jeno instead of Jessi. Why wasn’t he with Jessi? Not that you cared, he said he didn’t want to be your friend anymore. 

You don’t know if it was the alcohol or the desperation in you, but you walked over to Jaemin and stood in front of him. He was shocked to see you, especially after what happened. “Can we talk? Please?”, you pleaded, crossing your arms. Jaemin’s eyes drifted to your cleavage for a moment before looking you back in the eyes.

“I’m not sure that’s a good idea”, Jaemin said as he began to walk away. You stopped him as you grabbed his arm. “Don’t give me that bullshit. I need to talk to you whether you like it or not”, you said sternly, and the pit of Jaemin’s stomach started burning. There was something in his eyes that made you clench your legs together, and after excusing himself from Jeno, you both went upstairs where it was quieter.

You pushed Jaemin into an empty room and locked the door, not wanting anyone to barge in. You looked at Jaemin who was sitting on the edge of a bed, his legs spread. “Are you still with Jessi?”, the question just slipped out of your mouth without thinking, and Jaemin scoffed. “So that’s what this is about. And to answer your question, no I’m not”, he answered. Something in the back of your mind was glad that he wasn’t with her anymore.

“Was it Jessi who told you to tell me you didn’t want to be friends anymore? Or was that off your own back? And don’t fucking lie to me Jaemin”, you said as you felt yourself getting more annoyed. He didn’t answer you as he just stared at the floor, not wanting to argue.

“For fucks sake, just answer me”, you yelled, startling Jaemin. He stood up and walked over to you, pushing you against the wall behind you. “You want the truth? Fine. It was Jessi who told me to tell you that because she was fucking annoyed about how much I talked about you”, Jaemin’s face was close to yours as he spoke, making you look him in the eyes.

All you could hear was the sound of your breathing and the faint noise of the music playing downstairs. You licked your lips before talking. “D-do you feel the same way that I do?”, you asked hesitantly, the fear of getting rejected. Jaemin furrowed his brows and took a step back. 

“Are you confessing your feelings to me? Are you trying to tell me you love me?”, he asked as he looked you in the eyes. You closed your eyes before nodding, not wanting to see his reaction to you confessing your feelings.

What you didn’t expect, though, was the feeling of his lips on yours. You gasped before kissing him back, pulling his body closer to yours. You felt yourself being pressed up against the wall behind you, the kiss getting deeper. Jaemin’s hands held your hips, as yours went behind his neck. You played with the hair at the nape of his neck, his black hair soft between your fingers. 

The kiss got more heated as his tongue fought with yours. He lifted you up and you wrapped your legs around his waist, taking you to the bed. He laid you down on the bed, your lips still attached to each other. He trailed kisses from the corner of your mouth, down your jaw and across your neck, biting and sucking on the skin. You made sounds of pleasure which made Jaemin’s pants tighter. You flipped him over, Jaemin now underneath you. 

“You sure you want to do this?”, you asked, worried this would ruin your friendship, even though you knew you both felt the same way. Jaemin nodded at you and rubbed your hips before bringing you back down to kiss you.

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You laid there and stared at the ceiling, catching your breath. You felt great. Amazing, even. You looked over at Jaemin who was breathing heavily and held his hand. He looked at you and a huge smile formed on his face. He brought your hand up to his lips and kissed your knuckles.

Luckily the room you were in had a bathroom connected to it, so Jaemin got up and got a cloth to clean you both up, before you both got dressed again. When you were dressed again, you went into the bathroom to check your makeup, and that’s when you saw the marks running up and down your neck. There weren’t that many, but still enough to make you smile.

You left the bathroom and went back to Jaemin, seeing him fully clothed as he put his shoes back on. When he was standing up straight, you wrapped your arms around his waist and kissed between his shoulder blades. You couldn’t see the smile that formed on his face but you didn’t need to.

You both left the room, unlocking the door and the music downstairs was still playing loudly, some hip hop song you didn’t recognise hitting your ears. You walked down the stairs, hand in hand, and pushed through sweaty bodies. You saw Yeji in the corner of the room with someone, who you assumed was Renjun.

You walked over to where they were, and greeted them. “Where the hell have you been? I’ve been waiting for you for, like, an hour”, Yeji said as she looked at you, you shyly smiled as you looked down and Jaemin chuckled. Renjun snorted as he looked at the marks on your neck, and that’s when Yeji realised.

“You finally both realised your feelings for each other, thank fuck. I was wondering when that was going to happen”, she said as she smiled. She then introduced you guys to Renjun, who seemed really sweet the moment you saw him. He wasn’t your usual frat boy who loved to party every night and date lots of girls. He loved studying and drawing, and he also loved cats.

You drank a bit more, the taste of alcohol running down your throat as you moved to the music. You don’t know how much longer you stayed, but you soon found yourself getting hungry, and you were craving pizza. So, you and Jaemin, along with Yeji, Renjun and Jeno, you all left the party and went to the nearest pizza place, which you unfortunately had to take the bus to get to.

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You were all sitting round a table, sharing 2 large pizzas between the 5 of you. You were all laughing and enjoying the company around you. You looked at Jaemin and admired his side profile. His sharp jawline, his adams apple, and his long eyelashes. Jaemin felt you looking at him and turned to look at you.

“You alright there, babe?”, the sudden pet name slipped out of his mouth and just hearing it made you smile, butterflies forming in your stomach. “Yeah, I’m good. Really good”, you replied, leaning your head on his shoulder, Jaemin moving closer to you so you wouldn’t strain your neck.

Neither of you needed to ask a certain question, already knowing what the answer was going to be. Jaemin held your hand under the table and squeezed it, kissing your forehead and you felt yourself feeling sleepy, eventually falling asleep on his shoulder.

Yeji was the first to notice that you had fallen asleep, smiling at the scene in front of her. Everyone finished the pizza between them before they left the pizza place, Jaemin picking you up and carrying you bridal style, not wanting to wake you up since you look so peaceful.

You all went to the bus stop, waiting for it, which arrived a few minutes later. You all got on and sat down at the back of the bus (thankfully you were the only people on there, apart from the bus driver, since it’s late at night).

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You felt yourself being placed on a comfy surface, stirring in your sleep but soon waking up to see Jaemin putting you down. “You fell asleep while we were in the pizza place, and I didn’t want to wake you up so I brought you up here. With permission of course”, Jaemin explained as he kissed your cheek. You leaned into him, still feeling sleepy.

You’re sure Yeji is staying at Renjun’s again tonight, so you’re going to be alone for the rest of the night, and you were hesitating to ask Jaemin to stay the night. But you eventually found the confidence to ask him.

“Jaemin, please can you stay the night? Yeji is staying at Renjun’s so I’m gonna be alone for the rest of the night and I don’t want to be lonely”, you said as you played with your fingers. You were hoping Jaemin would say yes, since you wanted to cuddle with him. When you’re tipsy, or on the verge of being drunk, you get really affectionate and hug the person closest to you.

“Of course babe. I hope you don’t mind but I tend to sleep in just my boxers and a t-shirt”, he said, feeling rather shy now. You smiled at him and grabbed his hand, kissing his knuckles and rubbing your thumb along them. 

After wiping your makeup off and getting changed into your pyjamas, which consisted of shorts and a long sleeved t-shirt, you got into bed, making room for Jaemin. He soon got in after you, covering you both up. He wrapped his arms around you, putting your head on his chest. “I love you”, Jaemin said all of a sudden, making you smile. You buried your face in his chest and he chuckled at you, thinking you’re adorable. “I love you too”, you said back to him, Jaemin kissing the top of your bed before you felt yourself falling back asleep. The last thing you heard before falling asleep was the sound of Jaemin’s heartbeat which was beating rather fast. The reason for that: you.

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