#whatever our souls were made of etc?

[whomst-the-hell]

no bc the “everyone will die / of fun!” dynamic has been ground zero for so much character assassination in shipping spheres like i love opposites attract as much as the next person but its not the only dynamic,, sometimes characters are similar and aligned in interesting ways,, sometimes both characters are “everyone will die” or both characters are “of fun!” or maybe even a secret third thing (nice dichotomy IDIOT now tell me what lies outside of it etc) and thats so fine yall pls its still an interesting sandbox to explore the relationship between characters that are at least outwardly similar ok disagreements are super interesting now and we can look at the different paths to similar outcomes and we can make character foils and parallels and they probably have shared interests thats super cute and fun right guys! right? they can be a united front isnt that sooo relationship goals?? we dont need to keep arbiltrarilly assigning the role of “sunshine character” to one half of a ship (usually based on weird heteronormative lowkey sexist reasons) now please! please? …please?? /getting progressively more desperate

#shipping culture #ship dynamics #i think this is why i like codywan so much btw #its so rare that characters that are similar are allowed to stay similar in a ship #but sometimes relationships are formed on common ground and solidarity and understanding that comes from being The Same in some spiritual or #ideological way and its so refreshing to see #like obviously they aren’t identical characters but they are. The Same ykwim?? #whatever our souls were made of etc?

[shiftinglea]

You are God.

If you're in the LOA community, you've probably heard this saying all the time: "There is nothing impossible to you. You are God."

While some part of me agreed with it, I still didn’t feel like a powerful God who can create whatever he/she desires.

So I started questioning, “Am I truly God?”

My curious and doubtful mind led me to finding the answers that made everything clear to me. I finally understood what I am, where I came from, and what my purpose is here.

So, am I God? Are you God? The answer is yes, of course, you are. Here's how it works:

Once upon a time, there was The God, the original creator of everything, including you and me.

God is everything seen and unseen. It’s the great Divine that is the source of everything.

God existed in the space of nothing and everything, the void you might call it. God knew that it was the Great Divine, the Creator.

This God not only wanted to know itself as a Creator but also to experience it. How can you experience something if you exist in the space of nothing and everything? You just are.

So, The God created this Universe to experience itself as a creator.

The Universe was created, and then God divided itself into infinite parts so that he/she could experience itself experientially as humans and any other species that exist.

These parts are what we call souls. You. Me. All of us. We are all parts of God. We are God. There is no separation between God and you. God is experiencing itself through you.

Since we are all part of God, we also have the same abilities as God. We were truly created in the image and likeness of God, not physically, but our essence, our powers are the same because we are the same. We are made of the same stuff

And we can create whatever we choose. We can recreate ourselves anew at any given point. In fact, you are already doing it. Every moment of your existence, you are choosing who you are. Your state, thoughts, feelings, and actions show it.

You are God. Remember that. We all forget it before coming to this physical world. It’s all part of the plan. But now it’s time for you to remember that. If it weren’t the time, then you wouldn’t have discovered LOA, manifestation, etc.

It’s impossible to not be God. But it’s possible to not know that you are. So now you know.

#loassumption #loa tumblr #loa blog #void state #neville goddard #i am state

[notebooks-and-laptops]

One thing I enjoyed about Dragon Age: Absolution is the way it shows how being brought up within a specific culture can passively affect your outlook without you assuming it will.

Our villain, Rezaren, believes that he sees Miriam and Neb as his siblings, despite very obviously seeing them as slaves. The pervasive culture he's been brought up in assumes ownership; and so he continuously views Miriam and Neb in that lens despite the fact that he thinks he's not (better posts than this one have been made talking about this but specifically such things as: does not believe they have the right to say 'no', believing he can do whatever he wants with Nebs body/soul without consequence, wanting to take Miriam back as a tool to fulfil his dream etc.)

But Hira, who was brought up in Tevinter, left due to the Venatori and joined the inquisition is ALSO deeply affected by the culture of Tevinter and how it views elves. Hira is willing to bargain the freedom of a woman she loves, and there's something about ownership there. We don't know much about Hiras family and whether they participated in slavery, but I would argue that Hira's ability to rationalize her actions stems directly from an unconscious bias about slavery and elves.

And I think that's really interesting. It takes a lot of time and energy to break our unconscious biases. Love isn't always enough, even if the people experiencing that love (platonic, romantic like Hira or familial like Rezaren) believe that it should be, or that they're not participating in these wider cultures.

I hope we get an arch for Hira where she realises this, and grows (although not necessarily for end game Hira/Miriam I think Hira has gone too far), or a Tevinter character in DA:A that is desperately trying to put in the work to change these biases and recognsie them as a sort of counterpoint/flipside. But in this show, I enjoyed that the two Tevinter characters, despite their supposed love for Miriam, couldn't break free of the unconscious biases and culture they were raised in.

#dragon age absolution #daa #hira #rezaren #dragon age #tevinter

[curtwilde]

Henry vs Julian

I have been thinking about this a lot. While Henry clearly admires and models his scholar self on Julian, their essential difference is in how they perceive the Ancient Greeks.

Julian's interest in the Ancient Greeks is true interest, he admires their high and exalted values. For him, the Greeks were the highest point of human civilization, and the closer he comes to his own time the more his disdain increases - the Roman Catholic Church he holds in contempt but it's still a 'worthy enemy' not as bad as the Presbyterian Church. It isn't mentioned but he must hold modernism and it's philosophy with disdain - modernist moral vacousness being a direct contradiction of the idealist values loyalty, honor, chastity etc. that were so exalted by the Greeks. Which is why he is always cherry picks, sees only what he wants to see, and invents what he can't - both for himself (his ambiguous involvement with the Isrami government) or for his students (encouraging Richard to lie about his life in California). Since he can't time travel back to Greece himself, he must try to live that life as much as he can and believe himself a character in a Greek play. But it comes, not from a place of wanting to escape his current reality, but true admiration of the ancient Greek way of seeing and doing things.

Henry is a true modernist. The monologue about feeling dead is central to his understanding his character:

Maybe it stems from his near death experience but he sees the world as inherently meaningless, God is dead and heaven and hell have been revealed to be man-made constructs, there is no punishment for evil and since there is no moral line. I think he subconsciously realised all of this before coming to Hampden, but to truly accept it would have been soul-crushing. So he tries to escape it by immersing himself in the Greeks, I imagine the absolutist values, vague representational ideas pertaining to each god might have interested him but really, it could have been anything else, the Medieval Age or the Victorians, anything. He just needed something to be obsessed with, to give meaning to his existence which he subconsciously knew to be meaningless. So is his adoration of Julian, he admired and wanted Julian's ability to almost half-live in another time when, in his view, things mattered more (we have divinity in our midst). It also explains the Bacchanal which is otherwise so out of character for him. The appeal was to escape the soul crushing knowledge of meaninglessness - even if for a while. To worship and call on Dinosiyus with the blind belief of the Ancient Greeks, a kind of belief that simply cannot exist anymore in the postmodern, post-Neitzche world. His harebrained plans also came from the same impulse, including the poison plan, and the one way ticket to Argentina.

I suspect that what subconsciously drove him to murder bunny, aside from the obvious fear of getting caught - is the same thing that drove Mersault to murder the Arab - it's the old existentialist question, if good and bad are relative and there is no punishment for evil, how far can one go? Bunny's murder was Henry's existentialist experiment with himself. And, I think in a way it confirmed for him what he already knew, they escaped unscathed and he didn't feel any of the fear or remorse he expected to feel. While it did give him the momentary sense of power, the feeling that he could now do whatever he wanted if he can be clever enough to not get caught, since he won't be punished for it otherwise. While it gave him enough courage to go get the girl he always wanted - it did confirm for him the inherent meaninglessness of the world. Also, conversely, Camilla could have been another experiment - something must matter, was it love? Camilla was the only girl he knew and he was fond of her - he may not even have thought of her romantically before considering he never cared to act on it in all the time he had known her. But either way, Julian's abandonment broke him.

Coming back to Julian, Julian's abandonment omakes perfect sense to me - he was disgusted by the modernist moral vacousness in his students. He himself was a moral man, but his morals operated on his own standards. He based it on the Greek sense of Honour, not the more modern sense of Justice. His basic instinct was the preservation of his own purity - he couldn't possibly keep on as their teacher. But also, to turn them in would be against his sense of honour - he must have very little respect for the police and law enforcement as institutions being the kind of person he is. Not to mention it would mean his having to be in frequent contact with the police and court. From his point of view atleast, leaving is the only thing he could have done, really.

For Henry however, he sees that his obsession with the Greeks as well as his admiration for Julian as the sham that it really was, is disillusioned with the world, shattered. Except for his fondness for Camilla he didn't really have anyone he loved, he saw his friends as pawns, wasn't close to his family, didn't have any goals in life with everything in his reach with his father's money - the only person he had really loved was Julian, and there he was betrayed. His obsession with the ancient Greeks was also thus tainted with Julian's betrayal - since it wasn't true interest at all, only a disguised attempt at escapism - it wavered and fell apart, and he didn't have a reason to live anymore.

.

Side note : Richard falls between the two. Like Julian, he had a real interest in the ancient Greeks, but he didn't put them on a pedestal like Julian did. He realised that like his own time, and like all other times in history the Greek civilization too had its own good and bad aspects, and he wanted to learn about it for its own sake. But he doesn't make it his life, or use it to escape his own reality - outside of his classes he was very much rooted in his own time.

#the secret history #tsh #donna tartt #henry winter #julian morrow #richard papen #camilla macaulay #charles macaulay #francis abernathy #bunny corcoran #tina rambles #lit

[silvershiningtarot]

❤️❤️Pac18+ Channeled Letter From FS ❤️💋

* take a minute to get into the mood of this reading. These are Five Piles. All channeled Messages from your Spouses. Some of them were irritated but sweet but a lot of them were funny as hell. They made me laugh. But anyway Take what resonates and what doesn't leave the rest alone. Enjoy them. Inhale and Exhale.. 🥲🥲💋

Dear My Love,

Damn, I've been missing you all day today. I'm sorry I haven't got back to you lately. I've just been busy as always. Did you get my message? I hope that you've been working on yourself and not nobody else bullshit. I wanna make up for all those times I've missed with you. Again thank you for being my rock. I know it is your energy. I can feel it. Make sure you're working out, and staying out of trouble. I'm tired of you doubting our connection. We are meant to be. Don't you feel it? I'm coming home soon. I know don't see it yet but at least try to act like I'm there. I know right who tf am I say that that right. I want someone to complain to right now. There's a lot of pain I've been holding onto that I wanna let go. I can't. I can't even cry right now because I have to make sure my family and others are well. Of course, I wanna meet you. You're my wife. I don't know what the future holds for us. But let's not tend to look over there right now. I know I get caught up in the future as well. You are my favorite person in the world to me. I can't say too much it seems like I am supposed to keep quiet about this. But I just wanna say thank you for holding your ground baby. All the negative people don't pay them any mind because, in the end, they won't even matter anymore to us. I know I sound like I'm shitting on myself but I feel like you are so damn perfect I'm just me. Will you be my bride-to-be? Haha 😂🤣 I know I'm rushing. I just wanna get to know you already. Your energy fulfilled me. You and I are made for each other. What can I say? That I love you, my starlight. You shine so much on your own and you don't even know it. I'm giving you so much credit! You should give it to yourself more often. I can see the potential in you. Always look up at the stars and count them I'm right there looking at them too. Rose is red, violets are blue, I wanted to say, baby, forgive you. I know I suck at rhyme but that's all I can think of. 🤣. Anyways thank you for letting me air out my feelings for you and a little bit about my life. Thank you, my dear. Yours truly Best Friend.

SIGH, My cupcake 🧁

My sweet darling cupcake, Where have you been all my life? Just sitting around. May I be completely honest with you? What the fuck happened to you? I mean I've missed you in my dreams. I don't see you anymore. Are you mad at me or something? Tell me what I did wrong so we can fix the issue. Like Tuh, TODAY! I hope you do not purposely ignore me. That shit is unfair. I’m sorry, I didn't mean to come off as a dickhead but you're being a dickhead to me. So what are you talking to someone else? Is there someone else on your mind? That's right I can say I'm irritated by you. But you're so damn lucky I can't stay mad at you it's so hard for me to stay mad at you. I mean look at you. You're my fucking cupcake. You are the most precious person in the world to me. I get overly possessive over you. I'll hunt someone down if they hurt you! Just say the magic word, my love. I'll fucking do it. You look so goddamn beautiful. You are a fucking goddess to me. My everything, my soulmate, my soul family. Yes! I've been dying to say that but I gotta little choke up for a second. But How are you doing? Are you okay? Whenever you're not feeling okay think of us. Think about our house together, marriage, babies, etc. Whatever you can think of us. Do it! I don't like it when you are feeling down it makes me feel down. Thank you for walking beside me, and now it's my turn to walk beside you. It's okay give me your burden. I'll carry them for you. I know I come off as aggressive, and dominant but that's just me being overly protective and worrying about you. You know damn well you would do the same for me too. Anyways I have to go. But I'll talk to you soon. Keep your head up. Don't let anyone disrespect you at all. Keep it pushing, if the people in your life were meant to fall off then fucking let them don't pick them up after they fucking fall. I'm sorry 💔. Let me catch my breath. I love you my sweet cupcake. (excited) I get so excited saying look at me all giggly now hahaha!!! Always keep your head up. My cupcake, you are forever mine never forget that. Please. Make sure to take it easy on yourself why don't you? I like it when you dress up all pretty. I love your body, face, and everything about you. I just wanna kiss your body. All up and down.

Dear My teddy bear 🧸🧸

Ahhh, I wanna fucking scream 🙀right now but I'm cooling down right now. Okay, I'm calm now. I'm just so excited to talk to you. I don't know maybe it's me or it's just your fucking energy getting me all work up. I love when you are excited and work up like I am💋. Always teddy bear. How are you? I've missed you today. It seems like I haven't talked to you all day today. But what's been going on with your life? I hope you having a good day today. Make sure you are smiling too. I love it when you smile, shoo you probably smile right now as I'm talking to you. Can you hear me? Reach out to me. Oh, there's so much I have to say to you. I do. The first thing is. Did you eat today? I hope you did. Get your strength up. Did anyone fuck with you today? Like trouble you. I get it you have your difficulties to face, but I'm still here. I wanna be your knight and shine Amor. I know I sound like a fairytale dream guy or whatever but here's my thing though! Even if I'm so type of fantasy to you. You can pull me out, right? Whatever that stupid saying you die in the dream you die for real obviously not! Haha, but what I'm trying to say is if you are dreaming about me❤️‍🔥 that means I'm real to you. I'm manifesting you come into my life. I may know your face but I felt you before and your energy. It's is always the same I can tell that it's you. If that makes sense. I know I'm a fucking goofy ball! I think it's your energy I told you it's YOU!! HA! I love it though. But my sweet teddy bear! I wanna cuddle next to you. That's right I am a cuddle! Since I'm tall I like to get a cuddle. That's why I call you my teddy bear. You're so soft and warm 🔅. Whenever you're laying in your bed, you are not alone. Like Michael Jackson's song “You are not alone, I'm Here with You. Though far away I'm here to stay🍒. Because you are not alone.” some shit like that. Well, that's the song that came into my head I wanna send that to you. Holy snap! I think that I just put our wedding song Oops yikes my bad. Or you don't mind. ❤️❤️🧸❤️❤️. My gorgeous darling. How can I ever repay you? Not money but I wish I can snap my finger. You can fall into my arms just like that. Haha! Only like a fairytale movie. To be real! I like the villains more than the heroes. Do you ever realize that? Huh? Funny isn't it? They always make the villains describe our reality. Man! That's hilarious, isn't it? But anyways I wanna send you all the kisses! In the world, I hope you can feel them. Love you! I am coming to you in your dream so gear up. Love ya!

My Hero

Oh, my hero girl! I've been missing your touch lately. This red string is meant for you. I can't attach it to someone else. It's not there, to begin with anyway. I know that I've to overthink a lot about things. I got bad supporters, people, and businesses that have just been fucking me over. I'm trying to wrap my head around this what I'm doing wrong. Do I deserve what I think I deserve? I know deserve you but then I don't sometimes. See! Overthinking again. Maybe if you were here then I won't be feeling this way doubting myself and our connection. I feel that we have something together. I mean look at you and look at me. Would date someone like me? Would you be with someone like me? After everything from my past that you heard all over the blogs, social media, and news. Would you? I know I wouldn't. I'm competing with myself. All the time. The more I think about the bad, the more I trap myself. I wanna wake up from this nightmare I've been working on. My hero, I haven't been okay lately. I had fallen sick not like that if you know what I mean just depressed lately. I've been wanting to talk to you but I figure I wasn't strong enough to do it. Well, I'm here now so that counts. I have a mindset of wanting new beginnings for myself. Because I deserve better than this. You understand me, right? Am I talking too much? I don't want to annoy you. Just want someone to talk to and understand me just for once. I isolated myself away from people. Going through a lot of ups and downs with some business stuff. Don't worry my little hero I got this. I thank you for your concern for me. That's one thing that I love about you. Everything about you is so special. We are match-made from heaven. We were to incarnate down here to be together. Maybe it's time for us to finally meet. What do you think? I mean if I'm toxic for you then stay fuck away from me. If I'm in a dark place why the hell would I want my hero involved with that? I would be hurt because these are my demon to face. But anyway. Can I tell you about my dream about us? I saw us on a beach just laying down on the sand holding you while hearing the beautiful breeze of the ocean. I think back at those dreams all the time. Sorry, I can't tell you to rest because I don't want to give the rest out right now. But my little hero is always here to save my day. I can't wait to see what the future holds for us. I think that sometimes I've burned myself out all the time. But I'm working on myself even more. I'm slowly freeing myself. I feel like someone is betraying me I don't even know who it is. Ugh, you're right. I won't pay them any mind at all. I'll try not to. Again thanks for letting me share my side. Now it seems like I've seen you before. Where did I see you? Hmmm did you go to the same school as I did? Or work at the same place before. Your face I can't get out of my head. I can never get rid of your beautiful face of yours. Yes! See!! Haha, I'm smiling 😂🙃😛you brighten up my day. I hope I did the same thing for you my hero. I love you and take care of yourself, please. Muah 💋💋💋💋💋💋💋

My Moonlight

When our fingers touch, my body goes into shock. Can you feel it? I sure can. There's no doubt in my mind that you are the one for me. I think that I've dreamt about you before. I dedicated songs to you before. Yours and mines are the same our soul. Once the two of us get together we are each other’s perfect match. You are the pieces to my puzzles and I am yours. The way you say things got me all twisted. Whenever I see your face I tried to find you again. But then I go back to sleep you're gone. My moonlight where did you go? Why did you disappear on me? I know isn't your fault. But I think that's crazy to say but you and I are Twin Flame or my other half. I love hearing your voice in my head. I daydream about you all the time. You come to like nobody's business! Don't worry I'm not ashamed of you. I tell my friends and people about you, but they all make fun of me like you aren't real. But to me you are real. I had vivid dreams about you. All the time. The way you say my name is so beautiful. Do you sing opera? It is so magnificent. I love it. When our soul combines. They are singing that we are each other’s forever. I never doubt that for a second. I know I got some bad friends, etc. But I don't pay those bitches no mind. Because they ain't my concern. I am! So you are my favorite person. I don't care if people think I'm crazy, or I need help because I talked to myself. Who doesn't talk to themselves? I'm sorry, I went down to an angry place let me breathe this out. Okay, anyways I look at the stars, I wish all the time for you to come into my life. I won't lie my life sometimes fucking boring. Ha 😂 I know you feel the same way too. But I know that I've been working to hard get my financials shit up. So I won't be able to talk to you. But whenever you're looking at the moon, you'll find me staring back at it. Because when the moon shines on your eyes that's my eyes glimpsing back at you. I know you can't feel me physically but feel me emotionally, and spiritually. We have a spiritual connection between you and me. I know you can feel and so can I. It may not be what you want all the time but it is worth the risk. I don't think you know how much you mean to me. You mean everything to me. I'm so proud of the work you've been doing for yourself. Let me give you around applause 👏🏾👏🏾 that's how much I'm proud of you. Thank you for being that much amazing to yourself. Don't feed into that anger. Whenever you are feeling angry or a negative thought came to mind burst that fucking ego. Shout it out if you have to. Shit call me and we’ll do it together. We are a partner no matter what. I know I come off as this softy but I don't care. I don't want anybody else touching you, or talking to you. I know sound possessive. I don't care I care about you so much. I can be a real fucking dickhead if I want to be but I choose not to be. Make sure you meditate and always remember what I said SELF-Control is important! Man, I gotta start making up homework for your ass! 🤣🤣😂 Anyways my other half I know you mean well. But I just wanna tell you!! You are my favorite person in the world. The Universe already blessed me enough with your light and energy. I'm just ready to enjoy it in person. How amazing you are. Thank you for choosing me. I'm glad you're my other half. Doesn't matter if we are soulmates, twin flames, or whatever. You still are my MOONLIGHT!! Forever & always. Promise me that you'll take good care of yourself. No matter what. Don't be surrounded yourself by toxic people, or energies if they try to block them. Like I said call me I’ll help you push them out of the way. I love you my darling, you already know. 🧸💋💋❤️🧸

#pac reading #tarot reading #free tarot reading #fs pick a pile #tarot cards #divination readings #intuitive readings #love reading #pac reblog #pick a pile #18+ only #only adult #adult only #channeled message #future spouse #message #paid readings #free readings #free tarot #love #dynamic reading #welcome post #welcome page #happiness #energies

[animentality]

Not to send you an essay but do you ever think about how Gortash was the only person in the whole game who didn’t want anything from Durge but Durge. Just them, as a person. Like yes he wanted the netherstone, and wanted the alliance. But what I mean is there were no prereqs for Durge as a person. Every other companion, every other NPC even, wanted Durge to either resist and refuse Bhaal or pursue power and claim their birthright. Everyone had their two cents for what Durge should or shouldn’t do irrespective of how Durge actually felt about it. It made any friendship or love offered to them conditional, even in the case of their companions. It was always “I’ll stand by you, IF”. To be fair, not necessarily unreasonable for the normal person to set boundaries on murder and such lol. But my point is that they all wanted something from Durge first.

But Gortash. OF ALL PEOPLE. Gortash didn’t want anything from them but them. Even for Durge’s biggest supporters in either moral direction - Jaheira, Sceleritas, etc - it was not that simple. Yet Gortash’s friendship with Durge (and to be clear I think they were so in love but I say friendship here to emphasise that even on top of or irrespective of any romance, they were genuinely friends too!) was unconditional. “This changes nothing” is a line I know we all talk about to death but god. That is genuinely unconditional. It is!

(If we want to push the delusion a bit further, that’s a declaration of the unconditional nature of their alliance, which can be chalked up to nothing less than real and honest love as far as I’m concerned. He has no other reason to not care that Durge just said yeah the entire divine commandment part of this mission is in the pot. But Gortash was like I Do Not Care! And he meant it! “Oh yes incomprehensibly powerful beings came to us in our dreams and asked us to do all of this in their names in the first place, and you just pissed on that, but no biggie!” Same short-tempered petty bastard who kicks you hard in the shin with his metal-toe boot if you accidentally hit him. Who straight up attacks you if you show up to his office without any of the netherstones and say you forgot them or whatever. Guy who just kills you if you GIVE HIM THE STONES LOL. But he doesn’t care even slightly that Durge said fuck off to the lord of murder who ordered this whole plot to start? Doesn’t yell, doesn’t ask Durge what were they thinking, just goes oh ok. He makes me insane btw)

I’m also painfully aware that Durge will never find that kind of unconditional support with anyone else, ever. I just feel like this would haunt my resistance Durge for the rest of his days tbh.

(And like. My resistance Durge loves Jaheira, she’s the parent he never had and she means the world to him post-canon, he follows her around like a lost puppy because ultimately he is one but I have to wonder if he would lie awake at night with the niggling thought that maybe what he has with Jaheira would not survive if he acted any other way. Plus the thought that Gortash knew him at his absolute worst, and loved him anyway. And maybe that wasn’t a GOOD thing, morally - a GOOD person shouldn’t have loved him like that, right? - but he loved him anyway. I don’t think my Durge would ever ever get over it. Especially with the fact that he can’t even remember 99% of their relationship. Gortash can’t ACTUALLY haunt Durge cause Bane is busy using his soul as a stress ball but in every metaphorical way. Durge is haunted.)

Tldr Gortash is the guy who says “just be yourself <3” and I think that’s beautiful

You know, you hit the nail on the head.

Of course it's not unreasonable to expect your friends and lovers to stipulate, that they will only love you as long as you don't go on a murderous rampage.

That's totally reasonable, that's normal, I agree with it on principle.

But. But.

As you said.

Gortash loved you even when you went on a murderous rampage.

I am obsessed with him, because he loved the dark urge without reservation, believing in their ability to control their urge, but also admiring their intelligence and their talents.

He knew what they were from the start, and he accepted it!

And he could still love them!

I just don't think anyone else in the entire goddamn game could say that!

And that's why I'm obsessed with Durgetash.

You get me.

It's about loving someone for who they are, and not what they are to you.

They were never just the Chosen of Bhaal, whom he must work with, not to him.

Never.

They were never the Bhaalspawn, the savage dark urge, the scourge of Faerun.

They were themselves. And he liked that.

Guys, he LIKED them.

#baldurs gate 3 #bg3 #dark urge #enver gortash #durgetash

[octo-in-the-mainframe]

Side Order Spoilers!!!

Okay does anyone else find it weird that Smollusk and Pearl referred to both DJ Octavio and Agent 4 as "big shots"?

And that Pearl says Agent 4 "was supposed to be such a big shot"??

And that even though pieces of their souls got sucked into the Memverse they canonically have not been seen after the events of Splatoon 2 and 3 respectively???

Knowing that characters were added to Tableturf after the DLC, namely, Pearl, Marina and Acht, I wouldn't be surprised if more characters are added later.

"But Octo, didn't Nintendo say there would only be two waves of DLC?"

Well, yes...but I have reason to believe otherwise.

First, when announcing the two waves of DLC, yellow and blue were used for the first and second waves, but despite there being four colors used for the announcement, red and green made no further appearance.

I'm sure if Nintendo really wanted to, they could have found a way to make just the yellow and blue look nice, but they specifically added those two colors. Red, I get, that's Big Man's color, even if they don't use it much in promotional material, but GREEN?

If Nintendo were to make more DLC, three waves WOULD make sense, considering the leitmotif of threes throughout the game. It's the third game, there's 3 idols, 3 forces united as one, 3 Splatfest teams to choose from, etc.

But that still doesn't explain the fourth color. It breaks the pattern of threes and uses a color that is barely anywhere among our cast of characters, besides Marie, DJ Octavio, and maybe Callie.

And then I thought...what if it's to give us a taste of the next game? Next IS Splatoon 4, so I wouldn't put it past them for a sneak peek.

My other, and more likely idea was that it would center around Agent 4, which kind of ties in with the weird wording used for both Octavio and them. Perhaps we'll finally get to see what they've been up to, maybe even teaming up with a certain DJ?

As for the third wave...I'm not too sure. I think it might have to do with Lil' Judd and Marigold, though.

As we collect scrolls in Alterna, we get tidbits of the other characters' lives and some info on the Splatoon world itself.

But something that stood out to me is when we get to Pearl and Marina's scroll.

It's their outfits from the DLC, clearly meant to foreshadow their next appearance. And right before that was a scroll for the Squid Sister's podcast (and that dried up squid), which lines up since their hub world was brought to the game in the first wave of DLC.

But after Pearl and Marina, it's Lil' Judd.

Lil' Judd planning for Judd's demise.

Which has not been brought up seriously in the main game.

That...that means nothing, right? I mean, more DLC hasn't even been announced, ha-ha!!

But then the next page is Marigold, with her many pictures crossed out, with multiple names to the same-ish face. It's secretive; does she have various clones, multiple siblings? What is she?

And then, there's also the concerning connection between her and Lil' Judd.

Marigold works at Grizzco, evidenced by her voice at the counter and her vocabulary. Lil' Judd...is in CHARGE of Grizzco now, majorly implied by the new inclusion of a headpiece on him after you finish fighting Mr. Grizz.

I think the third wave of DLC will be focusing on Lil' Judd's plans to get rid of Judd and will involve a further look into Marigold and how Grizzco operates.

I mean, we can't keep stealing Salmonid eggs forever, can we? Eventually they'll run out. This endless back and forth has resulted in Big Run's happening, so it's not out of the question that we get a resolution to this.

(I personally think Big Run will have its own version of an ending, one where whenever you play Salmon Run after it it's "in the past," so that it doesn't affect whatever the conclusion was. Otherwise, the Big Runs would likely just get worse.)

Maybe we'll get to be Neo 3 this time and learn more Salmonid lore with our Smallfry friend!!

Of course, most of these concepts are speculation, but I do want to show off one last piece of evidence that I think can be rather damning.

The roped off barrier by the Metro. (Sorry I don't have an image of it, and I don't want to use anyone else's footage.)

Only removed once the DLC trailer was shown.

And look what we have here, as far back as the original Splatoon 3 Direct...

Another roped off barrier in front of the arch. Not just construction, like how Splatoon always sets up new places for the next game, no. It's a barrier, with a big empty space behind it.

I always thought it was so weird we weren't allowed to go over there, and now it seems so obvious to me what Splatoon has been implying.

I don't want to get my hopes up, or anyone else's, but I'm finding it exceedingly difficult to just move past these details and pretend like they're nothing.

What about you guys? Do you also think all of this is mighty suspicious? Do you have any theories regarding more waves of DLC, and what they could possibly be? Oh, and if you have more evidence for there being four waves, please feel free to tell me in the comments or through message. (I might not see the messages, though, because mine haven't been working that well, so mostly stick to comments and reblogs.)

Lastly, I did want to ask if anyone knows what the European version of the shop for the DLC means by “It’s possible that additional DLC, not listed above will also be distributed with the Expansion Pass.” I saw somebody mention it, I don't remember what post, but I was wondering if that was just a standard description for the European page or if it was just for this DLC. I'm in the US, and mine doesn't say that. If I'm completely wrong about this fact please tell me,,,

That's all I got though!! So, buh-bye!!!!

#side order #splatoon dlc #side order spoilers #splatoon 3 #splatoon 3 spoilers #splatoon theory #theory #splatoon 3 theory #agent 4 #dj octavio

[tomatoland]

Force & Book's relationship is quintessential gardener-flower relationship

So the idea of the gardener-flower dynamic is not new. It's actually been around for awhile now and has been in media (for example, season 1 of Will & Grace, the movie "I, Tonya," Will Smith made a video called "Defining Love" talking about it, but more about this in a sec), articles, etc.

It's a concept that in every relationship or “garden,” one person is the gardener who tends and one person is the flower who gets tended to. There can also be two gardeners in a relationship, but never two flowers because then no one would care to tend to anything.

In their relationship, Force is the gardener and Book is the flower. And they understand this too. Force is Book's “Life Master,” right?

Force's efforts in the early days as the gardener of their relationship are well documented in the FB fandom. How he nurtured their relationship and connection when Book was too scared to engage during Enchante era due to a painful friend experience in college.

But it's not just nurture, love and care that the gardener provides to the flower and their relationship and this next part is where I think Force is an amazing and natural gardener with Book.

"The relationship that a gardener has with a flower is, the gardener wants the flower to be what the flower is designed to be — not what the gardener wants the flower to be. You want the flower to bloom and to blossom and to become what IT wants to be, you want it to become what God designed it to be. You’re not demanding that it become what you need it to be for your ego.” -Will Smith

Whatever Book does, Force is his Number 1 supporter.

"Geng mak" or good job/well done is the unofficial foxmochi cheer because Force is always telling Book this after he performs or speaks or even illogically when they are playing on separate teams lol.

Book's love language is words of affirmation and Force always lets Book know because he knows this. And now Book tells Force this back. And foxmochis tell them both at events and appearances.

You might think this dynamic is unfair or unbalanced to the gardener because you would think that being flower is easy. The flower just exists and receives love and attention, but these were interesting insights I read about why being the flower can actually be hard. First, you have accept that you are the flower which is not so easy to do, accepting the care and nurture being given to you. It can be scary and intimidating to do the introspection, soul searching, and cliff jumping required to be the flower. There can be this fear that what you are doing is bringing down your partner. Sound a little like someone?

To me, it makes absolute sense that ForceBook as a pairing is flourishing this year because Book is truly coming into his own as the flower Force always knew he could be.

The more confident Book becomes in his abilities, in sharing his gifts with the world, the more people will see him and come to love him, to love THEM. And as a pairing, the more successful they'll be. Their star is rising sharply and while there are a lot of people in the background who contribute to this, I have to think that Force's role as the gardener to Book's flower factors significantly.

"And, as we grow, we’ll all be called upon to do some gardening of our own. Gardening that, because we’ve experienced love and care and support from others, we’ll inevitably be better at doing ourselves."

And we're now seeing this. This year was ForceBook's first LOL Fan Fest, first international fan meetings, and GMMTV fan days where they had to give speeches. And if you watch, during ments, when Force gets emotional, Book's hand always goes to Force's shoulder IMMEDIATELY as a sign of support like "I'm here for you/ Standing with you" and this helps ground Force enough so he can continue speaking (I can't find a photo rn so accept this placeholder until). Or the story they shared where they were both nervous while prepping for their first LOL Fan Fest and Force would come around and ask Book if Book wanted a hug… because Force wanted a hug. Force's love language is physical touch by the way if you couldn’t tell lol.

Or when they're doing an event or press and Force is tired or not feeling 100, Book will be MORE that day for the both of them or he'll check in on Force during interviews or press.

This unspoken dialogue and understanding they have between each other is really beautiful.

Force, I would say is still the primary gardener of their relationship, but now he doesn't always have to be. They can take turns supporting each other to be the best versions of themselves. And I love that for them.

eng trans from happyduckie_, CreamsicleBlair, ceci9697, khenhsdiary, minty_licious; articles 1 2 3 "Defining Love"

#forcebook #force jiratchapong #book kasidet #kasibook #fforce #mjtag #rumtumtag #<- if you're interested in reading

[ladysansalannister]

It’s always so funny to me whenever I see posts that are like “save Rhaenyra from That Man™️!!!!” because baby she doesn’t wanna be saved. Rhaenyra loves Daemon more than she has ever loved anyone. Whatever our souls are made of his and mine are the same, they’re made of the same fabric, we were always meant to burn together, make me your wife, etc etc

#she doesn’t need to be saved!!! #daemyra #rhaenyra x daemon #rhaenyra targaryen #daemon targaryen #house of the dragon #hotd #asoiaf #otp: make me your wife #miri’s thoughts

[diedikind]

Xie Lian taking away Lang Qianqiu’s freedom to choose his own path?

i’ve already addressed this in a reblog post but now that i’ve finished book 1 of the revised version i’d like to offer a more comprehensive analysis.

someone pointed out that in the revised version, xie lian seems much more “selfish”, that he is no better than White No-Face because he also lied to Lang Qianqiu to shape him into the kind of person he wanted him to be.

【Lang Qianqiu said sharply, "You still deny it?! For so many years, you've kept me from knowing who my real enemy is, you've deceived me yet made me grow into the person you wanted! To achieve this, you'd rather be thought of as the murderous culprit of the bloody massacre at the Gilded Banquet, allowing me to drive forty-nine nails into your chest and into the coffin! Guoshi, you're really something!"

With every sentence, Xie Lian couldn't argue because it was the truth. So, all he could do was despairingly say, "It's not like that."】 (new scene from revised version)

as i mentioned in my other post, a narrative that weaves its way through tgcf is how xie lian is supposed to be a parental/teacher figure toward lang qianqiu, and that such figures exist to the end of protecting/guiding children; even in modern society research has shown that the adolescent brain doesn’t develop fully until around 25 years of age, insofar as they shouldn’t be given complete free reign over many areas, for example we have laws pertaining to the legal age of driving or the legal age of drinking, we have age ratings for media and put minors dni in our bios… etc. in other words, it is not xie lian’s onus to completely leave lang qianqiu be to figure out his life. of course, lang qianqiu is a couple hundreds years old, but we will stick to the theoreticals of their what their relationship represents.

a brief aside about culture, i think western culture tends to place much more emphasis on individual choice / freedom in general, versus during my time in Chinese fandom nobody thought this was a problem. haha at the risk of sounding like communist propaganda, choice is not always good. for example, Barry Schwartz introduced the concept of the paradox of choice, which illustrates that while a variety of options allows for more freedom and autonomy, it can also lead to greater dissatisfaction, indecision, and paralysis; this is why businesses avoid presenting consumers with a wide array of products or services, because it could overwhelm them and lead them to give up purchasing anything in the end.

xie lian makes a similar argument:

【Indeed, whether the talisman burns could determine the life or death of what's inside the pot. But if the answer was "alive," it would be easy to kill whatever was inside right there and then. If the pot contained a little rabbit, a small demon, or even a human soul, then the gamble wouldn't be fun at all.

Shaking his head, Xie Lian said, "It's not that I'm worried. Of course, I know you wouldn't do such a thing. I just think it's better not to give others the chance to make such a choice.”】 (new scene from revised version)

this relates to the one-cup-of-water-two-people (i have no idea how to translate this properly) problem, in which no matter who you choose to give the water to, no matter which of the Two Paths you choose, it would always feel as if you’ve done something wrong. it’s a zero-sum game. similarly, alluding to the trolley problem, whether you pull the lever or not, you would either be killing someone or leaving others to die.

xie lian’s philosophy, then, is to prevent a situation such as the trolley problem from happening in the first place. he wants to spare the pain of the decision. he wants to eradicate the “two-paths” narrative.

hua cheng embodies the same philosophy. a few years ago, i asked a friend, how do you think xie lian would choose if he were to do the trolley problem, except on one track we have hua cheng, on the other track we have all the common people? and then i realised — hua cheng would probably willingly die for xie lian so he does not have to make the choice.

choice is burdensome.

another thing i want to point out is the popular phrase circulating on the Chinese internet “因为自己淋过雨，所以想给别人撑把伞” (“Having been drenched in the rain myself, I wish to hold an umbrella for others.”), in which there is no “neutral” option; there is no “support others in finding their own umbrellas”. in that sense, xie lian merely acts as a foil to bai wuxiang by doing the opposite of what he did. i do not think mxtx considered the “in-between” option of giving lang qianqiu the freedom to choose.

having finished rereading book 1, i realised that there is a line in it that directly mirrors the above.

【what he has endured enough himself already, he cannot bear to let another go through it as well.】

hua cheng also adds his own perspective to balance things out:

【He also sat down beside Xie Lian and said, "Moreover, if you value [Lang Qianqiu] so much, why can't you trust him?"

Xie Lian lifted his face from his arms. Hua Cheng said lightly, "Trust that since he is the one you've chosen, he will not lose himself in hatred. Even if he once wished to destroy the entire world, in the end, he will do what he must.”】

in the end, linking back to the narrative that xie lian is lang qianqiu’s parental/teacher figure:

【Lang Qianqiu looked as if he wished he could cover his ears: "Why are you lecturing me like this? What gives you the right to act as my master?"

Xie Lian replied, "It won't happen again." Lang Qianqiu was startled, and Xie Lian added, "This is the last time. Faults need fixing, and the rest is up to you to figure out slowly on your own."】

a popular interpretation amongst Chinese fans is that only upon his third ascension did xie lian “truly” ascend. if we read TGCF as a bildungsroman, xie lian starts off as a naive crown prince who matures through these 800 years. in parallel, then, we have just witnessed the inciting incident to lang qianqiu’s character growth arc. this is the beginning of his coming-of-age.

#xie lian #lang qianqiu #tgcf #heaven official's blessing

[merrymorningofmay]

if anybody abroad is reluctant to reexamine their relationship to russian culture/literature/etc they should consider that here in ukraine/eastern europe many more people were raised surrounded by much more russian art (in the og language at that). if a dostoyevsky novel has some emotional significance to you that renders it above the current political agenda imagine how much closer the same novel has been, used to be, to many of us

because you know, the saddest thing about russification is that it works. like, all the "they made me read it in high school and i hated it" talk aside, we didn't actually jump out of our mothers' respective wombs with an inherent dislike for russian things. even in the post-independence generation, many (including me) were very late to radicalize, many (including me) used to appreciate the great russian novel, the great russian cinema, the great russian music etc – let alone the generations of our parents and grandparents, who grew up before the iron curtain collapse and had barely anything BUT russian media to bond with.

and hey, nostalgia is a bitch. it gets especially bitchy in a traumatic situation that makes you yearn for the comfort of a "simpler" past. my father still listens to the russian 80s music. sometimes he turns to me randomly and sighs, "that one singer/actor/tv celebrity really turned out to be an asshole, huh."

(fascist. by "asshole" he means fascist)

i used to love bulgakov! because my parents love bulgakov and i love my parents, because i vibed with his style, because i thought "surely his imperialist mindset is obsolete by now, surely whoever likes bulgakov in russia likes him for everything but the imperialism". i used to love "the idiot" because i was a sad christian queer teen and for an ardent nationalist/racist/antisemite/etc, dostoyevsky actually had much compassion for the victim, which appealed to me – i didn't really think that i would be the sort of victim he had no regard for. the indie folk songs that used to be the jam of my soul were written by people who either supported the war or didn't really care, and my first ocs that i still cling to were (originally) heavily inspired by that one godawful copaganda wagner yaoi comic series (which has since been made into a movie, which is now on netflix, yay). russian culture past and modern has left a trace in me that will not go anywhere no matter my current worldview (which is far from sympathetic to russia, i promise) and my future choices.

but there is no floating island in the sky where art is divorced from physical reality. there is no magical place where there is no red string going from dostoyevsky all the way to putin. there is no just space where ukrainian voices are on equal footing with russian voices – precisely because the russian state has been so carefully nurturing the brand of Russian Art (even though some of the artists were killed by the previous incarnations of that same state, even though some artists never identified as russian but had that label forced onto them because an empire will take whatever it can from a colony).

the things that i used to love turned out to be cogs in the weapon meant to kill me. those cogs are still spinning, and i still miss that love sometimes, and there's no going back. it's an uneasy predicament that i had to learn to live with. i didn't die from that. the cogs didn't die from that. you won't, either.

#mari rambles

[aita-blorbos]

AITA for trying to kill my FUCKING clone?????

Okay okay. So I (18F) wanted to go on a date, right? Except I had two dates at once. I go to a magical school with lots of magic and stuff so I figure, I'll find a magical solution. You know how it is. SO I used a magical emerald to duplicate myself so that my clone could go on one date and I could go on the other, and then I would just dematerialize her later, whatever. Uhhhh well my clone turned out to be evil. I told her to go on the date and I would just dematerialize her and she TURNED EVIL AND KILLED THE SCHOOL'S HEADMASTER?? And then everyone thought I did it just because there was camera footage of a person who looks exactly like me killing the school headmaster!!!!!

So I got broken out of school jail for it. Then she killed my dad in order to hurt me and started acquiring a bunch of other magical emeralds that made her all powerful and immortal, and then she DESTROYED THE UNIVERSE. The entire universe. And killed every single person in it, including ALL my friends and family. Well, I couldn't kill her because now she's all powerful and immortal. SO I was like oh geez I gotta act and I used the power of the emeralds to trap her in an alternate universe with a bunch of fake memories. She killed my dad and she made herself hotter than me so I gave her fake memories of having a dad who died and made her look really plain looking and stuff. I figure, if I can't kill her, I gotta trap her. So I put both of us in an alternate universe version of our school with alternate universe versions of my friends and tried to act like a normal student and stuff. I had to kill another student and replace him so that I could also be at the school and no one would notice me, and I started taking potions to look like him so that no one would catch on that I also wasn't from this universe. A teacher at the school found out I wasn't who I was, and I had to kill him to keep up the ruse, but it was super necessary to stop my evil clone.

Well... my clone woke up and figured out who she was and that the name and face and memories I gave her were fake. She kept pretending to be an average plain nobody because she didn't know who I was yet. Then a bunch of stuff happened with souls, and my original friends woke up in the bodies of their alternate universe selves. You know, my friends who my clone KILLED!!!! And she started bonding with them and pretending to be their friend and talking about how she was having a "redemption arc"! So I explained everything to them! I was like hey, that person you think is your friend is actually my EVIL BITCH CLONE who DESTROYED THE UNIVERSE and KILLED ALL OF YOU. And they were all like, "sorry, but she's our friend now." WTF!!!!!!

Anyway, we had a swordfight, left the school, and she went off to do adventures with them, and I've been training to kill my evil clone for the last year or so, because she's my evil clone. She's like objectively evil. She killed my dad. She DESTROYED THE UNIVERSE. But now she's all like, ohhh I'm so sorry I did all of that, that was really messed up of me, I had just been created and I didn't know right from wrong and I was scared you were going to dematerialize me, I'm better now, I'm going to leave you alone, please stop following me around and trying to kill me, I don't think about you at all, etc etc. AKA she is MANIPULATING MY FRIENDS after STEALING THEM from me. I just need to kill her. When I kill her, she won't be able to hurt anyone ever again. And then my friends will realize she was manipulating them. Anyway, I did a monologue at my evil clone about all of this and she told me I was an asshole and to leave her alone. Obviously I'm in the right here, but I thought I'd ask anyway, AITA?

#aita #am i the asshole #unreality

[katthyacinth]

Little Sailors Have No Chance

Vox x Celeb/Singer Reader <3 Pt 4. pt 3 ... pt 5

In the span of 12 hours you had committed murder suicide with your abusive spouse, landed in hell where you were now a pretty fish demon, walked up to the biggest most important people in hells entertainment industry and landed a job on the spot...

Its only going to get crazier.

The TV head man had vanished into thin air after looking you up and down again to go deal with whoever "tore up velvets best model" that you were now replacing.

She had wasted no time using some sort of demon magic to change your clothes a dozen times and have some other demons do you're makeup. "well love you have been making quite a splash no pun intended and Im starting to see what the buzz is for. Stunning and you killed your husband? Truely a siren the name is brilliant luring poor sailor men to their death that blindly follow your charm, maybe that's what your fans should be called well, we'll talk all about a deal after the show." she blabs on as she adorns you with accessories and motions for you to spin, stand etc.

"Ok darlings" she calls out to the room. "its showtime!"

You will admit you've never walked a runway but you were going to do everything in your power to not make a fool of yourself. The lights and cameras and audience at least you were accustomed to. When you walked you saw that same man from earlier in the front row, with the TV head. When you stopped to pose at the front you saw him whisper something to another man next to him with sunglasses and a red-looking coat. You saw him smirk before you walked back behind the curtain. In the time the interns got you ready you had learned that the Vs on the building stood for the three owners of the cooperation. Velvet, Valentino, and Vox. You assumed the two men up front were Valentino and Vox since you remember seeing an ad or two with their faces on your walk toward the building.

After the show had concluded Velvet had pulled you aside.

" So little Siren, you've only been here a day and yet you've made quite a splash. Thats good thats-"

"good television" Out of thin air you watch little sparks materialize into the TV head man you saw earlier, Vox. He grins down at you sinisterly cutting Velvet off.

"You haven't made any deals yet doll so I take it you're free, for the taking, I mean why else would you wander up here." he grabs your chin making you look at him, inspecting you.

"Quit it Vox this is my deal, she wouldn't be good in your department anyway." Velvet glares at him.

"Chil Velv I'm here just for the entertainment and also to give our new guest a little present clearly she's lost she needs something familiar to her." Vox pulls a phone with a V logo on the back and hands it to you which you nervously take from him.

"I'm sorry what do you mean deal?" you ask nervously

"See what I mean poor things clueless," he states, you sense a mischievous undertone in his voice that makes you uneasy but ignore it.

"for your soul, duh kinda how hell works, you give me your soul you can work here and I'll give you fame and riches and protection for the angels yadda yadda and of course, you'll take it because we're like the best overlords in the pentagram" Velvet states.

You pause "Wait my soul? Isn't that movie shit you not serious right like so funny and also what the fuck is an overlord?"

Velvet twitches "You think I'm a joke princess? you gotta learn how stuff works around here quickly, it's kill or be killed when extermination comes around and if you wanna live best bet is with us and I don't make these offers often." she snarls.

"I'm not giving you my soul. It's kinda... my soul? you know when people say they sold their soul for fame or whatever I didn't sign up to do it literally. And I don't know what this extermination is but uh I'm already in hell I ain't trying to make it worse." you state backing up slightly.

Velvet gets back in your face even angrier as the TV man looks at you in slight shock.

"You're rejecting the Vs. That's priceless you know I would ask if you were born yesterday but technically you were so I'll give you some slack and not kill you but you're making a huge mistake." she grits her teeth

"I'll sign a normal contract. I know this is hell but... I'll sign a contract like the one I had above for my music label which is basically selling my soul." you chuckle at your own awkward joke. "I came here because I knew you guys must be the best in the industry so you're right leaving would be a huge mistake but I'm not offering my soul." you pause. "I won't give anyone any power over me like he had" you mumble under your breath.

Velvet scoffs annoyed pausing a moment. "fine one nonbinding soul contract coming up. But this means you may not work with any other companies any releases must be V approved, and you only endorse us, and you get fortune and protection. You're lucky you're famous and pretty." She grits her teeth. Pink magic emerges from her hands as she holds it out.

"Is it a deal?"

The Deal Is A Deal

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel vox #vox x reader #gn reader #vox my beloved #the vees #vox x you

[rabbitenn]

hello, i was wondering if i could request trigger and what soulmate au you think matches them? like red string of fate, injuries appearing on your soulmates body, countdown timer, etc. please remember to take care of yourself and no rush when it comes to this. i just really appreciate finding another fan of trigger :)

thank you and i hope you remember to eat, rest, and hydrate <33

U COMPLETE ME.

“Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same.”

ft. Yaotome Gaku, Kujo Tenn, Tsunashi Ryunosuke x gn! reader.

cw/genre: soulmate au, romance, fluff.

hi, lovely nonnie ! thank you so much for this request ! it is my first time ever writing soulmate au, so I hope it’s not too bad… you’re so sweet ! you take care as well, yeah? stay safe, well rested and hydrated 🩷 I’m glad to meet another TRIGGER fan too <3 I apologize this took so long :(( – it’s also the longest fic I’ve ever written hehe – I still hope you like it, mwah !

♡ YAOTOME GAKU

… and getting flowered tattoos wherever your soulmate receives a scar. The tattoos disappear once you and your soulmate meet.

It started around the time TRIGGER was formed.

Gaku doesn’t really know the meaning of the dark ink appearing on his skin sometimes.

It began with the swirling rose on his shoulder, an intricate pattern of decaying petals that seemed to drift away over the pallor of his back. The art was beautiful, but he can’t quite recall ever having it done. It seemed to be appealing enough for photoshoots, so his manager didn’t mind much.

However, that mysterious flower wasn’t the last of petals that would caress the idol’s skin.

Another flower appeared some time after, right below one of his knees. A dahlia this time, its petals with a subtle shade of warm pink filling them in.

And again, he is certain he has never stepped into a tattoo parlor…

This matter is beginning to take a turn for the bizarre, seeing how the rose on his shoulder is mostly faded, akin to a sepia colored photograph displayed in a sunny room, memories exchanged for light and time.

However, he was not the only one with a garden of ink flowering on their skin.

—

Lying down on your bed, you spread your fingers, hand raised before you. Your eyes follow the lines of the two blooms circling your pointer and ring finger: a dahlia and a rose, respectively.

Where did they even come from? You don’t have the habit of drawing on your own skin since you were a kindergartner, nor have you dared to get anything permanently inked on your body just yet… The flowers simply appeared one night, as if they were extensions of the starry heavens, forming a ring tailored to you.

You roll around in your bed, picking up one of the latest magazines you’ve acquired, your favorite idol group featuring on its cover.

The next thing you know, you’re bolting upright, the glossy book centimeters away from your face.

It’s not like the fact that TRIGGER appears on the cover is anything out of the ordinary, but rather, you’re solely focused on their leader.

Yaotome Gaku. Your bias since they debuted.

He’s wearing nothing but an open white shirt with black pants.

And there, on his right shoulder, you see it.

It’s partially covered by his clothes, but they’re see-through enough.

Dark lines converging into what’s unmistakably a rose, a few petals extending down his back and collarbone.

Your eyes flit from your hand to the picture and to your hand again.

There is no doubt. It’s the exact same design.

You have to make it to their next concert. You have to see him, and try to talk to him. Even if it just may be wishful thinking, you have to at least try.

Luckily for you, TRIGGER’s next live performance is around the corner.

—

And so, the fated day arrives, with you on the first row holding white light sticks tightly.

All your nerves seem to manifest in the throbbing sensation of the dark blooms you sport.

As usual, TRIGGER’s concert is an utter success, and you’d be elated to be witnessing such a spectacle were it not for the wild thumping of your heart at what you’ve decided to do afterwards.

As the music ends and your favorite idols say good night, you take one last deep breath.

You make a beeline for the back entrance and wait.

Muffled voices of fans come from the other side of the rundown door, but they’re all white noise to you.

Under the mixed light of stars and streetlamps, you examine your tattoos once more. They almost seem to flicker, as if glitter in shades of night had been melted over the inked lines.

Minutes pass, the crowd dissipating, their voices fading into the faraway stars, concealed behind the abundance of illumination.

And then, the door to your side opens.

A tall figure you’ve watched dance countless times strides out, and, for a second, your voice dies out in your throat.

Is this really a good idea? Will he just take you for another crazy fan?

No, you have to focus.

“E-excuse me…” You begin, voice slightly trembling.

Steely eyes meet yours, yet somehow, you don’t feel any of the coldness their color would suggest.

“I…” The idol’s head tilts to the side for an instant at your hesitation. “Okay so this might sound insane, and you’ll probably think I’m some crazy fan, which I am- A fan I mean, not crazy, hopefully…” You trail off, nervously fiddling with the hem of your shirt, as you look down. “But the thing is…” You shake your head. “I’ll show you.” You finally manage, exposing your ring finger to the night lights. “Maybe it’s just a coincidence, but… how did you get your tattoo? The one on your shoulder… I kind of… isn’t this one the exact same?” You ask, showing him your hand.

His winter sky eyes widen, and, when you follow his gaze, you find an eerie glow blazing in shades of white where your tattoos are.

And not only that. A gasp leaves your lips when matching brightness emanates from the man’s shoulder and knee, the shapes, the exact same on your fingers, glowing in your favorite color.

“What even-“ he begins. His sentence goes unfinished, the sudden burst of light fading, leaving nothing but untarnished skin behind, all traces of ink vanished.

Then you notice them.

Paler than the rest of his skin, two thin lines mar his ring and index finger, the exact same place where your tattooed flowers used to be.

And it dawns on you, that the garden of ink you’ve been sharing isn’t just a coincidence.

“How did you get these?” You question, fingers delicately threading through the idol’s. The rosy hue of summer dahlias rises to his cheeks at the contact. “I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to…” You fumble, realizing you were holding his hand.

“No need to apologize.” He smiles. “I help out someone in the kitchen sometimes.” He doesn’t elaborate further.

Afterwards, one of his hands reaches for your shoulder, where the point of a jagged thin scar, mostly faded, peeks out. “May I?” He asks, as you nod, giving him the green light to pull your shirt slightly aside.

Momentarily, his gaze widens, a flash of puzzle pieces falling into place. Then, a soft smile tilts his lips upwards.

“So, may I know the name of my soulmate?” Are the words of Yaotome Gaku, as he extends a hand to you.

You take it, introducing yourself.

“Is it okay for us to be together here in the open, Yaotome-san?” You ask, glancing around for prying eyes.

“It’s alright.” He assures, tone soft. “And you can call me just Gaku.” A smile reaches his eyes, its shine not unlike the slivers of moon reflected in the puddles of late summer rain. “It’s nice to finally meet you, [Y/n]”.

“Likewise, just Gaku.” You grin, a little mischievous, as you take his hand.

♡ KUJO TENN

… and sharing the same talents. What one learns, the other can also do.

Unconsciously, you start humming the same melody again.

Like every morning as you walk through deserted streets, the sun yet to rise from behind an horizon that you felt was at the tip of your fingertips when you sang.

It’s a well known piece, of that you are certain. You’ve done your research as lyrics began flowing from your lips like a forgotten native language.

Somehow, one day you knew them by heart, when the previous one, a nostalgic melody was all you had to go by.

And the voice you hear, or imagine in your mind when you think about the song… you swear you’ve heard it somewhere before.

As a gust of wind causes you to tuck your coat tighter around you, a flapping sound momentarily interrupts your line of thought.

Clinging onto a street light, a dark piece of glossy paper catches your eye. Bright colors can be made out on the edges of it, white lettering covering the back of the flier.

No harm in taking a look, right? You think to yourself, as your gloved hand reaches for it.

Turning it around in your grasp, you notice it’s an advertisement.

Apparently TRIGGER is performing again soon at the FSC Hall.

A smile illuminated in the cold light of morning curls your lips upwards.

Finally, they’re getting a chance to perform at a large venue.

TRIGGER is the group that’s been with you through thick and thin since their formation, and oddly enough, somehow, you could always memorize their songs without even trying.

Well, not exactly memorize.

It’s more like, you already knew every one of their songs when you listened to them for the first time.

It certainly was uncommon, but then again, since you were a kid you somehow had always picked up dancing and singing uncanningly quickly, with no training at all. And while you did not choose to make it a profession, it certainly was a hobby you held very dear.

The tunes you sang, the swaying of your body on nights when all you knew were tears, had brought a little of light and color to otherwise tinted in drowning memories.

And it was TRIGGER’s songs you always danced to, akin to the first cherry blossoms carpeting an otherwise muddy ground.

Pocketing the pamphlet, you heave a sigh, adjusting your back and heading towards the train station.

You have to get tickets this time. Is the thought that accompanies you for the rest of the day, in moments when you’re not humming that song.

The center of your beloved idol group in question, by the way, happened to have a hidden talent of his own too.

—

Everyone who is a fan of Kujo Tenn knows of his enjoyment of sweeter tastes, and especially, his love for donuts.

However, what remains a secret to most is the fact that he can bake quite well.

The idol doesn’t know how or when exactly did he learn; his only memory is still being in middle school when his usual bakery had run out of his beloved treat, thus, he decided to try his hand at it himself.

To his surprise, both the flavor and texture came out perfectly, almost impossibly alike to the chocolatey desserts he usually got on his way home.

He hasn’t visited that bakery for a while, now that he thinks about it… Will it even still be there?

He doesn’t have much longer to dwell on the thought when his two groupmates (who also happen o be his roommates) get home.

“Something smells really good in here…” Tenn can make out Ryu's voice coming from somewhere in the corridor.

“Tenn, we’re home!” Gaku this time, and two sets of approaching footsteps.

“Hey, Tenn, what is it that smells so nice?”

Tenn in question has a few seconds to ‘tsk’ and turn around, frilly pink apron still on while he mixes the dough.

“You guys could have warned me that you’d be here so early.” He grumbles, blushing. Oh, he so knows the other two won’t drop the subject of him cooking in a cute apron.

“You baking?” Gaku, his head peeking over Ryunosuke’s shoulder.

Tenn pinches the bridge of his nose. For someone who was the center of a world famous idol group, he certainly didn’t enjoy being on the spotlight like this.

“So what if I am…” He glares at the leader of his group.

“Must you always be so charming?” Gaku shoots back, words coated in pure sarcasm.

“There, there… guys, please, there’s no need to fight…” Ryu intervenes. “I didn’t know you could bake, Tenn… when did you learn?”

Maroon eyes avert to the side.

“It’s complicated… I didn’t exactly learn… I just tried one day and somehow I knew how to.”

“Just like that?” His friend’s amber eyes narrow in thought. He gives Gaku a look, to which the latter shakes his head in confusion. “I’m not entirely sure that could be your case,” Ryu continues. “But, back in Okinawa, I heard people talk once, stories circulated too… I’m not certain how much truth is there in them but maybe… could it be you have a soulmate, Tenn?”

The modern angel’s brows furrow skeptically.

“A soulmate? Isn’t that a folktale?”

“We don’t know…” his older friend goes on. “Isn’t it just a little strange, however, you could bake perfectly on the first try? Unless you used some recipe…”

“I didn’t.” Tenn states, confidently. “It’s as if… I somehow had already memorized it, even though I cannot remember when, how or where.”

“Then it’s not impossible you got this talent from them… And whoever they are, they know a thing or two about making sweets. Seems fitting for you, huh?” Comes Ryunosuke’s friendly teasing.

As his friends go get changed, Tenn begins preparing the dough for shaping, the word ‘soulmate’ lingering on the back of his mind like an old childhood song.

—

Lately, Zero Arena had become a place of respite for you.

Early evenings dusked beautifully behind the building, pinks and golds glittering off of the expanse of rippling water surrounding it.

Despite the warm hues the world keeps dyeing in as the sun sets, the air is cold.

You regret not having brought a scarf.

Plus, the just baked donuts you made at work only do so much to warm your hands as you hold the box between them.

Closing your eyes against the dying sunlight, you lean back on the bench, taking a breath before starting to sing the lyrics the great idol Zero used to.

Dis one.

Curiously, that and TRIGGER’s songs were the ones you managed to always intone perfectly, especially the parts Kujo Tenn, their center, performed.

Except this once, yours is not the only singing voice.

You’d have to live under a rock to not recognize that voice, but then again, this couldn’t be, could it?

You wait until you and your duet companion chant the last note.

And then you turn around.

A few feet away from where you sit, a lean male stands. His hair falls perfectly over one side of his face, the color of starlight through clouds. He sports a dark coat, accentuating the overall angelic pallor of his complexion, the red scarf around his neck, almost matching the shade of his eyes, akin to little pools of a blazing horizon.

“How are you able to sing that song perfectly? Kujo Tenn inquires, without further preamble.

His tone… it’s… colder? than what you recall him to be on stage.

You bite your lip, then:

“I don’t know. I just do… I’ve known this song for a long time… I have no idea why I can sing it, how, when, or where I learned it.”

His expression remains guarded; then, he notices the box you’re holding over your lap.

Recognition flashes through his sanguine gaze.

“That box. What’s in it?” Tenn’s eyes don’t leave the logo stamped in pink over the white background.

He knows that design. He used to stop by every day back when he was still in middle school, after all.

“Oh, this?” You open the lid an inch. “Just something I made today at work after I ended my shift. Would you like to try one, Kujo-kun?” You offer, now opening the donut-filled box completely.

A tender smile paints the idol’s lips a more vibrant shade of rose the moment you recognize him, slender fingers reaching out for one of the chocolate covered donuts.

“I remember these, from years ago.” He trails off. “I didn’t know if the shop would still be there…”

“It is.” You smile, a little woeful. “My grandparents grew too old to keep working on the business, though, so I kind of manage it by myself now.”

A twilit breeze picks up, your free hand instinctively reaching up to pull your coat closer around your neck.

“Oh! Would you like to have these?” You manage, fumbling a little for words when it sinks in that, yes, you’re talking to one of the most famous idols of the moment.

“Only if you accept this first.” The man utters, already wrapping his maroon scarf snuggly around your neck.

You fluster, cheeks blazing like the sun that’s already halfway behind Zero Arena’s ground level.

Nodding, you hand him the box.

“I have another offer.” Tenn states, fingers brushing against yours when you pass him the package. “I can help you bake for your shop. Would you like to… meet up and practise my performances with me some time in exchange?”

You raise an eyebrow.

“No offense but, can you bake?”

“I don’t know why I can, how, when, or where I learned, but yes, I can bake.” The idol replies, with a warm, knowing smile.

“And what do you gain from this exchange?” You question further, a part of you fearing this is just some cruel joke despite how right everything, how right you feel around him.

“To get to know my soulmate.” Tenn utters, as notes of powdered sugar and fuchsia clouds surround you.

That’s more like the angel you admire.

Your soulmate.

“I’d like to get to know you, too, Tenn.” You return his smile, soft.

As you share conversation coated in colored sweetener, you begin making your way back home.

Home…

Perhaps you’ve already started becoming each other’s.

♡ TSUNASHI RYUNOSUKE

… and having a compass on your body leading you to where your soulmate is.

Lately, the needle has started twitching.

In golden ink, perfectly circular on the inner side of your wrist, the tattoo of an ornate compass lies.

Its point had always been stagnant, lines in silver glitter inked over your veins, its only movement your beating pulse.

However, as nights began to cover in bright lights and snow, your compass had started pointing towards somewhere.

Or rather, someone.

You knew wherever they were, whoever they were, you’d find them somewhere along the other end of the needle.

As you sip a warming latte, your gaze entranced by the slow flutter of snowflakes as they fall with the gelid breeze of night, you wonder.

What kind of person might your soulmate be? Are they still far away, since all the compass has done is flutter, not particularly pointing anywhere?

Does the movement mean you’re somehow getting closer to your soulmate?

Sighing, you pull your sleeve over the aureate circle permanently etched on you, before standing up, paying for your order and taking off into the cold evening.

—

The sudden activity on his compass can’t be just coincidence.

Tsunashi Ryunosuke knows he’s not hallucinating either, he knows the gilded lines tracing over his veins by heart.

After all, the compass never once moved when he used to accompany his father on fishing trips, tumultuous waters threatening to topple the small boat over.

However, since he’s gotten into this plane, the argent point has budged slightly, akin to a broken watch that went back and forth, forever ticking the exact same second.

Ryunosuke’s honey gaze glances out the window, his hometown in Okinawa little more than a dot of green and brown over the astronomical expanse of blue expanding on all sides.

Closing his eyes, the to-be idol leans against the headrest of his seat.

He wonders, what will this new life of his be like? And who is the person his tattoo is being pulled towards?

Landing is still hours away; he guesses he can rest his mind for a while for now.

—

The compass has moved again.

Fully moved this time, unmistakably pointing towards a concrete direction, no matter how much you turn around or change position.

A pull resonates throughout your whole body, urging you to follow the path it indicates. A lane of gilded cobblestones, at the end of which your other half supposedly awaits.

What if it’s all wrong, though? What if they’re someone scary? What if you just get kidnapped and all of this is just part of some malicious bigger scheme?

‘No. Focus, [Y/n]’. You try telling yourself, shaking your head.

A gust of liquid night pricks your skin in icy shards when you step outside, the moon’s smile glinting off of the aureate pattern on your forearm, a thread of starlight pulling you towards your fated soulmate.

Of course, the universe saw to it that you were not the only one chasing after this not yet tangible dream.

“Excuse me for a second now, guys.” Ryu announces, after him and his two future group mates have finished showing off their dancing moves.

Quickly grabbing his coat on the way out, his steps carry him through the stardust contained in the remnants of snow littering the streets.

And yet, despite the possibility of slipping, the idol’s gaze is solely focused on his wrist.

In the same way those of the person who accidentally bumps into him are.

A colliding force suddenly sends you stumbling backwards, the slippery asphalt already unforgivingly hard in your mind as you shut your eyes and brace for impact.

Except instead of the cold and hard sound of dirty concrete against bones, a gentle voice follows.

“I’m so sorry! Are you alright?”

Then you open your eyes. Strong arms are keeping you upright, strangely comforting, even though this is the first time you’ve seen the owner of this warming voice.

Regaining your stance, you apologize:

“My bad, I guess I wasn’t looking where I was going…” You explain, laughing a bit nervously.

The man smiles, and you realize then how handsome he truly is.

For all you know, he could very well be a model, an actor even.

Soft brown hair sweeps over one side of his face, his tanned skin accentuating inviting golden irises. The curves of his face are sharp and sculpted, but somehow soft all at once; a gentle hearth, beckoning you to take a moment of respite.

“I suppose I wasn’t paying attention either.” Are the next words he speaks, waking you up from your momentary reverie.

Then, a flash of gold catches his eye, and you notice him glancing to your wrist.

“Ah yeah…” You smile, a bit flustered. “I was just looking for someone…” Your words trail off, observing how the needle now points in the direction the attractive stranger came from.

“That makes two of us, then.” He smiles, displaying the inner side of his forearm for you to see the exact same tattoo you have, pointing straight towards you.

Matching smiles meet your lips when it all clicks.

He’s the one you had been searching for amidst nights where falling snow erased the traces of everything; the footprints of fated love buried beneath layers of frigid moondust.

And you. The tethering anchor awaiting in the raging waves. A lighthouse, the promise of a home here too, despite being miles away from his own.

“Call me Ryu.” He tells you, extending a hand to you.

You sofly shake it, both of you a little awkward.

You chuckle in unison.

“I kinda have to get back somewhere now…” He explains, a shadow of guilt passing over those sunshine eyes. “But let’s meet soon? I’ll find you.” He promises, raising his arm, showing you the compass pointed at you.

“Sounds good.” You softly utter, to him, to the stars who wrote this fate.

With a last kind smile, he rushes towards the street he came from.

You stand there for a few minutes after his figure has vanished.

Ryu. You have the impression the glow of fame is coming his way.

You turn on your heel.

The stars glow a little warmer.

#idolish7 x reader #idolish7 imagines #idolish7 #kujo tenn x reader #kujo tenn #yaotome gaku x reader #tsunashi ryunosuke x reader #yaotome gaku #tsunashi ryunosuke #ainana #ainana x reader #idolish7 x you #idolish7 scenarios #idolish7 x y/n #idolish7 fluff #kujo tenn x you #kujo tenn x y/n #idolish7 hadcanons #idolish seven #anime x reader #anime imagines #anime fluff #soulmate au

[doberbutts]

Ask game: 9 and 17?

A story from my childhood:

Hmm I've told quite a few good ones on here. I think I've never talked about this one on tumblr before.

When I was in 2nd grade, I had a truly evil teacher. She hit us, scratched us with her nails, came up with cruel games and crueler punishments. She mostly targeted myself, a Korean girl, and the boys (the girl and I were the only poc in the class). When I say truly evil I mean it- she would grab us by the back of the neck with her deliberately sharpened nails and squeeze hard enough to leave marks. One day she did that to a boy with short enough hair that his parents noticed- they called the other parents of the class who checked their kids' necks and found similar marks. She'd always told us that our parents knew about what she was doing and told her it was okay, and that we'd be punished worse for telling anyone because then everyone would know we'd been bad. Surprise: our parents did not know.

ANYWAY that's not the story but rest assured she did get fired for this after all the parents raised a huge stink about this woman.

In 3rd grade my school was aware that they now had a bunch of incredibly traumatized 7-9 year olds who needed some extra help because they'd been terroized for several months, and devised a buddy system with the school's nicest teachers. Mine was my actual 3rd grade teacher and she was such a beautiful and lovely soul.

I spent many weekends working on homework sprawled out on her kitchen floor, eating fruits and sweet treats she made herself, chasing her very fat orange cat around, helping in her garden. She- I feel- embodied what an elementary school teacher should be. Genuinely, I don't think a nicer person exists. I have one particular memory of sitting with her on her patio, me covered in dirt due to whatever garden activities I'd been up to, eating cool watermelon and drinking iced water, asking her a million questions about all the different things I'd learned in class and seen in the garden and heard on the news etc. And her ever-present patient smile as she answered my questions in her own gentle way.

The year after, she went on extended leave due to "a health problem". She never came back during my time at that school. Later, in high school, I was at a Christian camp thing and bumped into her there. She looked like she'd aged about 25 years. I called out to her, and she heard me say her name and told me in a very wobbley and halting voice "I know you were one of mine, but I'm sorry, I can't remember your name. It's the cancer, you see."

She died a few months later. She had brain cancer. I cried when my mom handed me her obituary. I was just talking to my mom about her the other day, how I remembered chasing her cat around during that summer.

The moral of the story is, I guess, that you never know the impact you'll have on someone's life. I don't know if Ms Metzler ever thought that I'd be sitting here thinking of her more than a decade after she passed. Or if she knew just how much she helped me recover from the woman before her. Or if she knew that her garden, her patio, her bright orange cat, and the cool tile of her kitchen floor would make such an impression on me that I still remember them vividly even after a brain injury. She didn't remember me at the end. But I'll remember her forever.

3 things that make me happy:

Vanilla or cinnamon scented candles

Lofi playing softly in the background

The warm pressure of a dog laying on me

[prettybillycore]

Please Don't Die Again || Connor (RK800) x GN!Reader

Pairing(s): Connor (RK800) x GN!Reader ; Minor Elijah Kamski x GN!Reader

Universe: Detroit: Become Human

Summary: You, a former employee at Cyberlife, now work as a Detective along side Hank and Connor. As the android revolution begins, Connor finds himself faced with a choice– his mission or you. 

Rating: Teen

Word Count: 4.1k

Warnings: Canon typical violence, yandere!Elijah Kamski, Gun violence, Connor (rk800) temporary death

A/N: Ahhh! My first non-stranger things request this summer; I have so much love in my heart for Deviant!Connor. I decided to follow the advice of @whoringrove and work on whatever my brain was most drawn to. Right now, I’m working on the second chapter of “Stranger Things Have Happened in Hawkins” but because it takes place in ST3 canon ‘verse, I really need to rewatch the whole season before finishing it. I’m itching to create right now, not watch something, so oop here’s an rk800 x reader fic. I hope you enjoy @momos-peaches <3

Read it on AO3 or right here on Tumblr (below the cut on this post)

You knew Connor could die and be placed inside of a new body– Hank told you about the one time he was killed before; he was hit by a car going down the freeway. However, you were not there to witness that death. You had never personally seen Connor die and you most certainly weren’t the cause. This was not the freeway incident though, this was the battle for android freedom in Detroit. 

You were once on the side of the city, protecting humans at all costs. Now, you were at the center of the android revolution– and Connor’s blue blood was on your hands. 

| < ♥️ > |

You were born into a well-off family and your mother worked in the technology industry. You grew up with Elijah Kamski as your best friend and worked with him for the first several years of your adult life. You were the creative mind behind a lot of the aesthetic choices– clothes, facial structures, etc. There was enjoyment and pride in your work at first, but you watched Elijah turn into a shell of his fun-loving self. He became more arrogant and honestly an ass to be around. You kept him within your social circle because you couldn’t bear to lose someone so close to you, but you didn’t agree with the treatment of his android companions. You weren’t as technologically gifted as him, but you helped him create the first androids. You wanted them to be treated with respect and kindness– Elijah saw them as nothing more than machines. He tormented you for it and you ended up leaving your very high-paying job at Cyberlife before he left his. You went back to school and ended up joining the police force as a detective– he retired to a mansion in the middle of nowhere. He invited you over often, but you started accepting fewer invitations as you started working more hours. 

Hank Anderson worked at the desk across from yours. You had very different views on androids, but he was a gentle soul to you. He valued your opinions on his cases highly and often requested to work with you over other detectives. It warmed your heart and gave you a father figure you could actually reach out to. This is how you met RK800, better known as “Connor.” 

He was far more advanced than any of the androids you worked on and his physical appearance wasn’t your design. You guessed that he was made by the team that replaced yours and you were honestly amazed by his existence. His data analysis software was incredible and he was extremely skilled in crime scene investigation. You knew the moment that you met him at the Ortiz house, you knew he was special. 

| < ♥️ > |

You were already inside the house when he entered behind Hank. You smiled at the two of them as they came inside. You stood up from your place over the body, “Ah, Lieutenant Anderson, I thought you might never come.”

He rolled his eyes as he approached. Connor was matching his pace. You eyed him curiously, but pretended not to notice him– as much as you could, anyway. Though, you are sure Connor noticed your glances. “I wasn’t gonna come, but this jackass showed up at Jimmy’s bar and said you were working this one alone. Thought you might want a hand.”

“Extra hands are always welcome at my crime scenes; we could use all the help we can get to be honest with you. Household androids are becoming more unstable every day… I just don’t understand why. Take a look at the scene in the kitchen, Lieutenant; something awful.”

“Can do,” he replied shortly before walking past you.

Your eyes fell on Connor, who was standing stiffly a few feet from you. “I would shake your hands, but I’m gloved and have blood on me… what’s your name?”

“My name is Connor. I’m the android sent by Cyberlife to assist Lieutenant Anderson with the rise in deviant cases.” His answer was stark and to the point, but there was something behind the inflection of his voice. You could feel his gaze; it was dull and unwavering. 

“I’m guessing you already know who I am based on what Hank said.”

He nodded curtly. “Y/n L/n. Current Detective at Detroit Police Department and former Creative Director of Cyberlife.”

You smiled again. “Indeed, it’s nice to meet you, Connor.”

| < ♥️ > |

The next two days were some of the most action-packed and traumatic days of your life. You protected Connor from Gavin’s android hatred, searched the Eden Club, and witness an unmasked android give a freedom speech on national television– not to mention all the cases that were piling up of deviants committing felonies. You felt protective of Connor at this point and he felt protective of you, though he didn’t understand why he felt that way. Hank was still a little skeptical of Connor as you approached your childhood friend’s home, but you had no doubts in your mind– Connor wasn’t just human-like, he was human. Much like many of the androids you were trying to track down/stop, he showed bright, shining signs of humanity. It made you incredibly nervous to take him with you to Elijah’s. It made you so nervous, in fact, you asked him to do something very unlike you.

Hank stopped the car outside of the Kamski residence. Connor was in the back seat and started to open his door before you squeaked out, “Connor, stay here.”

“What?” Hank questioned. 

Connor pulled the door shut again, but kept his hand on the handle. “Why, Detective?”

“Uh…” you faltered. You felt silly saying it, but you were sincerely worried for Connor’s safety in Elijah’s presence. As much as you hated it, the man could read you like an open book. He would know that you cared for Connor and would do everything he could to use that connection to his advantage. “Kamski will try to turn me against you, I just know.”

“Oh come on, Y/n. You’re not going to turn your back on me and Connor. We’ll all be fine,” Hank assured.

“I would feel much better about this visit if Connor were to stay in the car. He is safe in the car,” You argued.

Hank rolled his eyes. “If anything happens to him, as much as I hate it, Cyberlife will fix him and he’ll be back on the job tomorrow.”

“I appreciate the concern Detective, but Lieutenant Anderson is right. I am replaceable.”

Hearing those words absolutely shattered your heart. “Connor…”

Hank patted your shoulder. “Come on, kid. He’ll be fine. Let’s go get this over with. I know you hate this fucker as much as I do.”

| < ♥️ > |

Elijah had his eyes on you from the moment you walked into the swimming pool room. There were quite a few Chloe models present, which did not surprise you. She was the first model to pass the Turing test and you had designed her (aesthetically speaking). Elijah had little touches of your relationship all over his house– your painting in the entryway, a few drawings of yours on the walls, even a picture of you two as kids in a frame on a table near the window, and of course Chloe. Though he was taking his sweet time getting out of the pool, he was keeping a close eye on you. You weren’t the only one to notice these details though– they were noticed by Connor and Hank both. The feeling of his eyes on you made your skin crawl as he climbed out of the pool. “I was surprised to see your name on my schedule, Y/n, but I am oh so happy to see you again. What’s it been? Six months?”

You did your best not to falter at his words, but his tone sent a chill up your spine. “I’ve been busy with my work at DPD. You know that, Elijah.” You used his first name on purpose; you were hoping it would throw him off his game. When you worked together at Cyberlife, you fell into the habit of calling him Kamski; everyone else did, so when you called him by his first name, it usually knocked the snark out of him. “These are my friends; Lieutenant Anderson and Connor.”

“What can I do for you, Y/n? Lieutenant?” He asked, only addressing you and Hank. It was annoying you slightly that he was being so informal with you, but at the end of the day, you couldn’t blame him. You two had such a long history it would be sort of unsettling for him to call you ‘detective’, though you despised him calling you just by your first name. It gave you a feeling of disgust in the deepest pit of your stomach. 

You could see the weary look on Hank’s face. It wasn’t surprising– he was fairly protective over you. What was a little surprising was the fact that Connor’s LED was circling yellow to red and back again. Your words felt like they were trapped in your throat, so Hank picked up the conversation. “Sir, we’re investigating deviants. I know you left CyberLife years ago but, I was hoping you'd be able to tell us something we don’t know…”

Kamski smirked, “Deviants… Fascinating, aren't they? Perfect beings with infinite intelligence, and now they have free will… Machines are so superior to us, confrontation was inevitable… Humanity’s greatest achievement threatens to be its downfall. Isn’t it ironic?”

“We need to understand how androids become deviants. Do you know anything that could help us?” Connor questioned. Elijah’s strong gaze shifted to him for a moment. Then, it shifted between the two of you. You had a bad feeling before you walked inside the house, but it was getting stronger with every passing second that you all were inside. You shifted slightly, placing yourself vaguely in front of Connor. Your eyes met Elijah’s and you could see him deeply contemplating his next move. 

“All ideas are viruses that spread like epidemics... Is the desire to be free a contagious disease?”

Hank was becoming impatient with the conversation. You could see it plainly on his face and in his body language. “Listen, I didn’t come here to talk philosophy. The machines you created may be planning a revolution. Either you can tell us something that'll be helpful, or we will be on our way.”

Elijah began to step closer to you and Connor. You tilted your head while shooting your former best friend a questioning look. You knew that he was paying attention to you, but he didn’t acknowledge you at all. He kept his eyes trained on your android companion, while his fingers twitched at his sides. “What about you, Connor? Whose side are you on?”

You looked away from Elijah and toward Connor. He was looking back at you, but only for a brief moment. The light on his temple was still flicking between yellow and red as he looked toward Elijah, “It's not about me, Mr. Kamski. All I want is to solve this case.”

Elijah chuckled a bit, pulling his lip with his teeth. “Well, that's what you're programmed to say… but you…” He was getting uncomfortably close to both you and Connor. He angled himself so he was off to the side a little bit, away from you, but he was still less than a foot away now. His glance came toward you for a moment before going back to Connor, “What do you really want?”

Your eyes were glued to Elijah. You, Hank, and Connor were all weaponless because that was an agreement of the meeting, but you were still trying to calculate the best way to incapacitate him if things went south. Connor, again, glanced in your direction, but you didn’t notice this time. Elijah and Hank both did though. “I’m sorry, but I don’t see where you're getting at,” he replied. His defensive tone didn’t go unnoticed by you, though.

“Y/n, would you mind stepping over to stand next to Chloe?”

You quirked your eyebrow at him. “Why?”

“I would like to run a little test on your android and you’re blocking my way.”

You knew exactly what test he meant. There was nothing else he could mean with that evil little glimmer in his eye, “No way in hell you’re doing to that to him. I won’t let you.”

He had a curious expression on his face. He had completely turned his attention to you. His hand came to rest on your upper arm as he answered. “Interesting. You’re so protective of a machine, I mean, you always have been rather fond of androids, but that adorable angry look on your face– oh you care about it, don’t you, Angel?” 

You nearly gagged at the nickname. You knew he had feelings for you somewhere in your past, but he hadn’t called you ‘angel’ since you were in your early twenties. He stopped after you rejected him. It’s probably where the bitterness in your relationship started. God, you felt like you were going to be sick. Hank was in shock behind you and didn’t know how to intervene; Connor felt like he was frozen in place. His orders were telling him to focus on the mission, but the thought “protect y/n” was trying to force itself to become his primary directive. Elijah took the opportunity to place his free hand under your chin. His fingers dug into your skin. “What? Did I hit a nerve, detective?” That smirk planted itself on his face again. “Chloe, get the device.” His eyes never left yours. Your brain was screaming at you to rip yourself from his grasp, but you couldn’t get your feet to move. His hand moved from your chin to your other arm. He forced you out of the way as Chloe pulled a gun out of the table drawer. He almost threw you out of the way he used so much force. You stumbled into the chair next to the table and sucked in a harsh breath. Connor’s LED was completely red, but he was still unable to pick a directive. “I’m sure you’re familiar with the Turing test. Mere formality, simple question of algorithms and computing capacity. What interests me is whether machines are capable of empathy. I call it "the Kamski test", it's very simple, you'll see…” He turned to Chloe, an almost hungry look in his eyes as he took the gun from her hands. “Magnificent, isn't it? One of the first intelligent models developed by CyberLife, completely designed by Y/n and myself. Young and beautiful forever. A flower that will never wither……But what is it really? Piece of plastic imitating a human? Or a living being... With a soul…?” Elijah handed the gun to Connor. “It's up to you to answer that fascinating question, Connor. Destroy this machine and I'll tell you all I know. Or spare it, if you feel it's alive, but you'll leave here without having learned anything from me.”

Hank found his voice again after seeing the fear in your eyes. “Okay, I think we’re done here. Come on, Connor. Let's go. Sorry to get you outta your pool.”

Elijah was getting more and more in Connor’s face. “What's more important to you, Connor? Your investigation, or the life of this android? Decide who you are. An obedient machine… Or a living being endowed with free will…”

“That's enough! Connor, Y/n, we’re leaving.”

“Pull the trigger,” Elijah taunted. It was like watching the angel and devil on Connor’s shoulders. He looked to you for an answer. Elijah had aimed the gun at Chloe and for Connor, it would be just one quick motion, but… 

“Connor, don’t…” Hank said.

Connor was searching your face for an answer. “Please no…” you mumbled. 

“I'll tell you what you wanna know,” Elijah mumbled.

Connor lowered the gun and could feel himself destabilizing. Elijah sighed and moved away from Connor. He walked back over the table and opened the drawer again. Before you could process what was happening, he yanked you to your feet and had his hand around your neck. You could feel him closing his fingers tightly enough to start cutting off your oxygen. You grabbed at his hand for a moment, before you felt the cold metal of a gun barrel pressed against your temple. Your breath was gone from your lungs. You never would have seen this coming. “Eli–” You couldn’t get his whole name out. 

“What the fuck are you doing, Kamski?” Hank shouted. All of the Chloe models that were still in the pool had begun to watch. 

“Fascinating… CyberLife's last chance to save humanity... is itself a deviant…” Elijah mused. “I have another test for you, Connor. We’ll call it the Y/n test.” He relaxed his fingers slightly so you could breathe again. “You, a piece of plastic, have somehow managed to capture Y/n’s attention.” He rubbed his thumb across your chin so softly it almost felt like a comforting gesture. “I could have given them everything. A mansion, wealth beyond anything they have ever seen, they never would have had to work a day in their whole life, but they turned me down. They left Cyberlife and eventually became a detective. Ever since they joined DPD they’ve been slipping farther and farther away. I can’t even get them to come over for a meal anymore, but you… in a few days, they have become completely enamored with you.” His hands were trembling with anger. He began constricting your air again. “This test should be easy for you Connor; shoot the Chloe model and I will let Y/n go, unharmed. You three will walk out of here with no information, but the detective will be fine and Chloe will be replaced. If you refuse to shoot Chloe, I’ll shoot your favorite human, but I will tell you everything I know. Are you willing to sacrifice the life of this human for your mission? Someone’s going to die, Connor. It’s up to you to decide.” Elijah clicked the safety off. 

Connor looked between you, Chloe, and Hank. You had been in danger before with your job, but this was the closest you had ever come to death. Connor could read the terror in your expression. Hank was scared too. Connor had never seen Hank truly scared before. “Kamski–”

“Quiet! This is Connor’s choice.”

Connor closed his eyes and pulled the trigger. Chloe shut down almost instantly and Elijah dropped his gun on the ground next to him. He let go of your throat and Connor rushed forward to catch you. You pulled in as many deep breaths as you could. Connor’s sensors scanned your injuries and determined quickly, that while extremely distressed, that you were relatively unharmed. Without saying anything, he wrapped his arm under your knees and behind your back. “Let’s go, quickly Lieutenant.”

Hank didn’t argue and neither did Elijah. Connor nearly ran to the car with you in his arms, jumping into the back of the vehicle with you. “Y/n? Are you alright, Y/n?” You nodded as you started to catch your breath. Hank got into the driver’s seat and started down the road as quickly as he could. “What’s their status, Connor?”

“Stable, but we should have them seen by a doctor to make sure Kamski didn’t cause any serious damage.”

“Guys… I’ll be fine.”

“Shut up, Y/n. If Connor says you should see a doctor, we’re stopping at a doctor.”

| < ♥️ > |

Connor had no idea that you had tailed him to Jericho. You were so careful not to let him see you. You followed him all the way up to Markus and North in the Captain’s cabin. North had a gun, but from what you could tell, it was jammed.  “What are you doing? You are one of us… You can’t betray your own people…”

You had met Markus before; he was one of your designs. You never imagined that he would end up being RA9, but knowing Carl, it made sense. Carl treated Markus as another son and gave him freedoms that many other androids did not have. “You're coming with me!”

“You're nothing to them. You're just a tool they use to do their dirty work. But you're more than that. We are all more than that… Do you never have any doubts? You’ve never done something irrational, as if there's something inside you?.. Something more than your program.”

You couldn’t tell what Connor or North was thinking so you decided it was best to intervene before something went wrong. “Connor!” you called. His head snapped in your direction before he started looking at North and Markus again. 

“What are you doing here, Detective? How did you find me?”

“Connor, put the gun down. Markus is good, I promise. We’ve met before.”

“I don’t believe my eyes,” Markus said. “Y/n L/n. You designed me for Carl.”

You tossed him a soft smile. “Hello again, Markus.” You walked around Connor’s side and walked in front of his gun. 

“Y/n don’t–”

“You don’t have to do this, Connor. You have done something irrational. There is something more than your program, just like Markus said. You had no idea if Elijah would have gone through with his threat. You could have followed orders and let me die. You could have learned whatever you wanted about deviants from him, but you didn’t– you saved me because you care about me, Connor. I know you do! Put the gun down and we can talk about this. I know Cyberlife is telling you that Markus is the enemy, but he’s not and you know that he’s not.”

Connor lowered the gun to his side, but he didn’t drop it. You stepped to the side where he was holding it and set your hand on his. You were going to continue talking him down, but a loud bang came from behind you and the next thing you knew, Connor had blue blood dripping from a bullet wound– right between his eyes. Markus shouted at North and you screamed bloody murder as he collapsed. “Fuck! FUCK, CONNOR! Don’t you fucking leave me here…”

| < ♥️ > |

Life was not going so well for anyone around you at this point. You were at Hank’s house; your head in your hands as you sat on the couch. Sumo was whining for you to cheer up, but you couldn’t. Connor’s death was just replaying in your mind on repeat. Hank was in the kitchen and not doing much better than you. The both of you were so out of it, that you didn’t hear the bedroom window being open and shut. “Lieutenant!” Connor shouted. “Lieutenant it’s me! I need your help!”

You shot up from the couch and Hank bolted in from the kitchen. “Connor? How–”

“Cyberlife will always replace me. I’ve found Markus and the others. He’s shown me what I can really be, I… I’m deviant. I offered to go to Cyberlife to gather more androids for the war, but… I’m scared and I need help. I wanted to see you, Y/n, but I was afraid of that too.”

“Fuck…” You used your hands to wipe the fresh tears from your eyes. “Connor… I… you died in my arms. I watched you fucking die right in front of me… You can’t do that shit…”

“Y/n… I’m sorry.”

“Sorry doesn’t fix it! It’s not your fault anyway… North shot you because she thought you would kill her and Markus. I’m glad your back, but it’s so fucking weird. It’s messing with my brain…”

Connor slowly started to walk around the couch. “Can I do anything?”

“You… Please don’t die again! I can’t do that again. Your blood was everywhere and I felt so fucking helpless. Markus just kept apologizing and I didn’t know what to do. We had to leave your body and run because soldiers started attacking Jericho. I felt so bad, but I couldn’t carry you out, I–” 

Connor reached out and set his hand on you shoulder. “It’s alright now, Y/n. I know how much my death upset Hank and I can see it hurt you. I will do everything I can not to die again.”

The softness of his voice and his simple touch did you in completely. You rushed forward and wrapped your arms around him. “You better not die again, I need you here.”

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