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obeythedemons · 3 years

Note

Request trans ftm MC

Lucifer

Makes sure he gets the proper pronouns down and MC's name

Ensures that MC takes pride in who he is

Buys MC pride flags, anything that says pride on it with the trans flag - it is his "sin" after all

Let's MC tell him whatever MC's most comfortable with

Will make sure MC receives proper medical care if he needs it to transition if he decides to transition

Will kill anyone that gives MC a hard time, if he's against killing, then another form of punishment will make do

"I want you to see the way I see you, you should be proud of yourself. That includes this."

Mammon

Will make sure to not steal any binders, meds, or anything that makes MC comfortable

Gets MC "manstrating" products, as he calls them, without complaining if MC needs them - gets some that look badass. Like a pad with flames or tampons that look like bullets? He doesn't know, he's trying. Uses Lucifer's card and buys himself something while at the store

He is great at affirming MC's gender, but may go a little overboard, see above.

Will fight anyone if he even thinks they did something wrong, like misgender MC

Brings back clothes he wore on photoshoots and gives them to him

"I-it's 'cause I'm great man, your first man, that you should look like me. Not like I want ya to match any of my outfits."

Leviathan

Like everyone else, I think Levi's trans in some way - genderfluid, nonbinary, ftm, something

Gets it, totally does

Is a bit relieved when MC comes out, because that's something he can use to bond with him.

Gives bits of advise on what to expect if he decides to transition

Shows him anime of different trans characters

Also shows MC different games that are gender neutral or allows him to pick which gender the character should be - bonus points if the character can be trans

Can sew MC new clothes if he wants, will be super flustered with it, but also really happy

"I-I want you to know I'll be here for you, whenver you need me to. You're my Henry."

Satan

Possibly not the most familiar with trans issues, but will immediately do more research on it

Has to take a break from it

Becomes enraged by how humans treat other humans and thinking of how they might treat MC

Satan will be quick to lash out at anyone looking at MC the wrong way and possibly black out doing so

"If anyone treats you terribly, I'll deal with them."

Asmodeus

Creates an entire fashion line to make trans individuals feel more comfortable

Asks for your opinion and gets in touch with others on what would work well to get a more diverse point of view

I think he's gender fluid or doesn't care about gender, but knows how it can be important to others

Both him and Levi are the best ones to go to when MC needs to rant about something

Will most definitely help MC with his skin if he goes on hormones, second puberty can be a bitch

"Oh, I'm so happy you trusted me with this my sweet MC! We'll make sure you look so cute with a new wardrobe!"

Beelzebub

Doesn't really appear like he understands, but he does

He's listened to Levi and Asmo talk about gender before

He doesn't personally understand it, but it's not for him to understand and he accepts that

Will protect MC from anyone that he thinks might cause trouble - prefers to stop it before it happens

Gets MC food that is supposed to boost testosterone

Will also know which exercises boost which muscles if MC wants to gain some muscle mass

Gives MC a hug if he's okay with it when they come out

"I'm just happy you're you."

Belphegor

Has the best baggy hoodies that he's fine with sharing

He'll take them back because it smells like him and helps him sleep

He hopes that his scent also helps MC to relax and feel better with how he appears

Makes sure he has nice dreams and appears how he wants to appear in them

Is completely judgment-free - he's more judgemental on him being human than anything

Diavolo

Transgender? Oh! Humans have gender! He nearly forgot

Is very excited to learn more about gender, what it means, and what being transgender entails

May ask too many questions or too personal of questions - it's coming from the right place, but Dia. Please. Stop. Luckily, Barbatos will make him stop

Ensures all of the proper measures are taken to change name, pronouns, and bathroom use (if they have gendered bathrooms in Devildom???)

Barbatos

Already knew from looking into the future

Didn't say anything until he was comfortable with telling him

Very gentle in ensuring he understands when to use which pronouns - is he comfortable using he/him around everyone or just a select few

Will be standing silently near him and glares daggers with a sinister smile if anyone tries to mess with him

He'll give him little things so that MC knows that he's thinking of him and cheering him on

Simeon

Oh yes, Henry is trans, too

It's canon, not just after the fact Simeon wrote the series

He wants to make sure he did a good job at capturing a trans character and will at times ask for advice on how he should write them

Understand that it is a diverse community, though

Has the best words of encouragement and always knows what to say

Luke

Is his guard dog and puts himself in front of MC when needed

The best little brother MC could have

Doesn't really see why being trans should change how he views MC

But is really glad he has a big brother to look up to

Solomon

Is fascinated with how gender has changed throughout time

In fact, his gender changes depending on how society shifts

Will accompany MC and Asmo when they go shopping for clothes

Offers to use magic to help MC transition if he wants or brew a potion

The potion will taste awful

Is very accepting and will help protect MC when they're in the human realm together

#Obey Me!#ftm #Trans #Trans pride #Transgender #Lucifer #Mammon #Leviathan #Satan #Asmodeus #Beelzebub #Belphegor #Diavolo #Barbatos #Luke #Simeon #Solomon #Headcanon #female to male

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myuni-moon · 3 years

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felt very gender today and came up w a lil brainrot

imagine reader being trans/nb pre-transition when they get isekaied. if the cult doesn't already know abt your gender, they'll accept it as soon as you tell them, even if you don't "pass" yet.

if you get dysphoria, or just want to look more the part, well guess what? you've got super geniuses in your cult ready to listen to every whim you've got.

assuming there isn't hormone therapy/affirming surgeries in teyvat (which seems 50/50 to me) they'll just. reinvent it.

you could mention wanting to pass one time and albedo is already on it, working and researching like there's no tomorrow.

the entire cult is very supportive, and you'll meet more than a handful of members who are also lgbt, not to mention npc's. i just think it'd be a very nice environment y'know?

transphobia would absolutely not be tolerated, if some npc or whatever made a snide remark/purposefully misgendered you (i almost respect the bravery tbh) well... don't worry about it, you won't have to see them again.

-🐮 anon

that's so poggers, anon. glad to see you're doing well~

yes, you're right. transphobia or any kind of aggressions against any person from the lgbt community is not tolerated within teyvat. mondstadt, especially, is very vocal about one's freedom of individual expression. their archons are genderfluid or nonbinary, so it's only natural that there shouldn't be any looking down upon others who feel the same.

if there's a certain way you want to look, just tell zhongli or albedo and they'll get to whatever it is you need for your transformation. if you're trans, albedo and baizhu will work on a way to get you hormone therapy if you want. your closet is filled with any clothes that make you feel comfortable, courtesy of childe and his expanse of mora.

while waiting for progress, the archons might use some of their powers to temporarily change your appearance on days where you feel extremely dysphoric. anything that makes you feel happy, they'll do just for you.

#myuni answers #🐮 anon

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wordsmith30 · 3 years

Text

After “Dave Chappelle: The Closer”

Here’s one thing you should know about me. I’m not a big comedy fan. Most popular comedy is made at someone else’s expense. And as someone who has heard plenty of racist and sexist jokes growing up; been misgendered numerous times; been questioned about my sexuality; suffered from mental illness; and has had my own feelings and experiences belittled, I was not impressed. And I’m not even part of the LGBTQ+ community. I’m a light-skinned, cis-het Black girl.

I came as a complete newcomer to Dave Chappelle’s comedy and watched The Closer without any idea of what I was getting myself into. And the longer I sat there listening to him, the deeper my discomfort became.

He, like so many others, pulls the “I can’t be transphobic! I have a trans friend” card with his story about Daphne Dorman. Not only was that utterly heartbreaking, it was even more disgusting for the way he uses her to further his own position. Newsflash, buddy. Just because one trans person liked your jokes doesn’t mean they weren’t transphobic. Being validated in your transphobia does not make you right or remedy the real harm you’ve done to trans people.

He seems to be under the impression that as a Black man, he’s incapable of being sexist, prejudiced, homophobic, or transphobic, and that’s simply not true. 1) He is a cis-het man who benefits under patriarchy. He will never face the kind of sexism, discrimination, or violence that women face. And though he supposedly supports the #MeToo movement, he had plenty of jokes to make about not only women’s, but trans women’s genitalia, and offered to become the leader of the #MeToo movement so long as they “suck [his] dick.”

He says he loves the “old-school gays”, but has no problem getting into fights with lesbians at nightclubs (or misgendering them in the process). He says trans women are women and then agrees with J.K. Rowling, saying that “gender is a fact.” You can’t play both sides!

Chappelle claims that his problem isn’t with the LGBTQ+ community, but with white people and how white people within that community use their privilege to harm Black people. While that is a real issue, his arguments are undercut by his blatant homophobia and invalidation of trans identities. Because he’s not just talking about white people/white gay people/white trans people with his statements. He’s talking about the entire community at large – all trans people, including Black trans individuals (because yes, they exist too) – so he’s hurting the Black community as well. I’m sorry, but if your response to racism is homophobia and transphobia, then you’re not really helping anything. You’re only widening the divide.

You can critique racism within the LGBTQ+ community without being sexist, homophobic or transphobic.

Worse, he takes issue with anyone who criticizes him. You’d think that if multiple people – cis and trans women alike – came up to you and said, “Hey, what you said was really harmful/hateful”, you might stop for a second and say, “Oh, really? I had no idea. I’ll work on that.” But no. The attitude he takes is that all these people are “too sensitive” and that he doesn’t need them because plenty of other people think he’s funny (i.e., Dorman). He embraces the controversy and proudly proclaims himself a transphobe. Everyone else can just get over it.

And that’s just the problem. He knows what he’s doing. He knew that his commentary would get him a lot of heat. He warned his audience that his jokes were going to be controversial, and he went ahead and said them anyway. He knows what he did and he owns it. He will not apologize and he will not stop.

But the main point he takes issue with is people telling him he’s “punching down”, implying that because he’s also a marginalized individual (a Black man), he cannot be punching down because LGBTQ+ individuals are more privileged than he is. This is a gross oversimplification that ignores intersectional facets of identity. Ignores the experiences and struggles of POC people in the community. So why don’t we check your privilege, Mr. Chappelle? You are a cis-het male with a huge celebrity platform and millions of dollars in Netflix deals. You benefit under patriarchy and you’re profiting off controversy. Profiting off of the pain and suffering, and offense you’ve caused in your attack against the trans community. The Closer is going through the roof! Positions like yours only enable other people’s bigotry, only incentivize the laws that oppress trans people, only reinforce the fears and stereotypes about the LGBTQ+ community. You are a very powerful person and you’re doing very powerful damage.

Daphne Dorman defended you in your bigotry and this is how you repay her? By making fun of and misgendering her, and invalidating her identity as a trans woman? Anticipating the moment you meet her daughter so you can tell her that you “knew [her] father and he was a wonderful woman”? Screw you.

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nonbinaryresource · 3 years

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hi. i wanted to ask whether or not it’s ok to take comfort in a person that has not officially come out as trans but has included many forms of gender expression in their work? i’m trans and when i listened to this artist’s work (harry styles - she & fine line) i connected with the songs immediately? i found a lot of people in the community who too connected to the songs and interpreted the lyrics as a struggle with one’s gender identity. at first i was against calling harry trans because i thought it was wrong, but then after reading master posts i discovered that he constantly portrays gender in his work (using the trans flag on his album cover; being ok with his friends referring to him with she/her, miss, ‘sue’ instead of ‘harry’, and sis; his obsession with babies and especially wanting to get pregnant; relating himself only to female artists; etc.) and now i’m really confused. it feels comforting as a fan to relate to him and i, and a lot of other fans from the community, sometimes refer to him with he/she/they instead of he/him (he never said his pronouns are he/him). is that wrong? every time my (trans) friends and i refer to him with pronouns other than he/him or tell people not to assume he’s cis as he never specified that, other (usually cis. a trans fan called me transphobic and told me to stop seeking validation from cis white men.) fans will start calling us transphobic and delusional and attacking us to the point we had anxiety attacks over it? i’m just really confused right now. i don’t want to misgender anyone but i don’t understand why relating to someone who, from their actions, could be part of the community is wrong. i’m not out to anyone irl and sometimes i wish people caught on to the little things i do and recognise that i am part of the community. i don’t understand why people keep shutting down the idea the harry could be trans when he never said he was cis and was ok being referred to as she.

he has previously said that there are no lines between what's masculine and what's feminine for him anymore. i'm sorry this is so long and thank you

(You also sent in the song lyrics - thanks for the easy reference! - but I’m clipping those for length reasons.)

Disclaimer before I dig in: I am not a Harry Styles stan, I know very little about him, most of what I am going to say specifically about him is stuff I researched about specifically to answer this ask. I want to speak mostly generally to your question.

Okay, so you posed a pretty succinct, straight forward question. “i wanted to ask whether or not it’s ok to take comfort in a person that has not officially come out as trans but has included many forms of gender expression in their work?“ However, there’s also a lot of context to this ask that makes things not so straight forward, and there are several distinct issues touched upon here I want to delve into. But it seems a good a starting place as any to start with the direct question you asked.

Yes, of course it’s okay to find your own meaning in art and role models and relate to art your way from your perspective based on your experience. In fact, that’s nearly the entire purpose of art! And it makes sense too, that we as social creatures would look up to and be inspired by celebrities, artists, mentors, role models, etc. Feeling connected to and less alone because someone in the spotlight plays with gender presentation like you might or want to makes a lot of sense!

However, we have to remember that A) sometimes art is just art, and B) someone being in the spotlight doesn’t mean we actually know or understand them or are/should act familiar with them.

As an example, a couple years back, Will Jay released a song called “Never Been in Love” that pretty much exploded with aros and aces and became a bit of an anthem for a lot of us. Many wondered if he was aspec himself and there was a lot of queries about it (and I saw quite a few blogs reminding folk that they were allowed to relate to the song even if it meant something different to Will Jay or he wasn’t actually aspec). Earlier this year, he released the song “Lies” where he admits that he was writing songs he thought people would relate to and he actually had been in love even before writing “Never Been In Love”. That should do nothing to diminish how meaningful the song was to people, though! If we related to the song, we related to the song, and if it was meaningful and made us feel seen and understood, that’s great! A lot of times, art is personal, but sometimes art is just an exploration.

This concept applies even more to people themselves. It is soooo easy to idolize and romanticize people you’ve never actually met and really only see the persona they want you to see. Yes, they share personal information with the world and they experience a general lack of privacy that makes you feel like yeah, you really know who they are. But how can you really, personally, intimately know someone without interacting with them, chatting with them, getting to know them one on one? It’s fine to have role models and feel represented by and relate to a celebrity - just do not lose sight of the fact that what you’re feeling is personal feeling on your own end. It’s not something that this celebrity has actually built with you.

To put this another way: it is fine to headcanon fictional characters, but it’s not okay to headcanon real people.

Now, what I’m building up to here is that there are a lot of assumptions I am seeing - from both sides - that we cannot truly know because all we know is what Harry [or anyone] chooses to share with us. I’d like to break this down by going through some specific points.

at first i was against calling harry trans because i thought it was wrong

Okay, there are two sides to this.

1) It is wrong to apply a gender label/descriptor to someone without their permission.

2) In a cisnormative society, “cis” is the default gender label/descriptor to apply to everyone, and that’s equally wrong, so I get why it feels like a rebellion of the system to go “well, there are Reasons they could be trans, so I’m just going to go ahead and call them trans”.

We should get away from automatically labeling everyone as “cis”. However, the way we fix this isn’t to just decide we get to apply whatever label/descriptor to someone we want.

If someone hasn’t clarified or specified their gender (and you can’t/it isn’t a good or safe idea to ask them), it’s the safest bet to go by what they seem to be majority being called or what you can find of them referring to themself as.

In some cases, when someone seems to be specifically avoiding labeling themselves or uncomfortable with labeling themselves, it may be most comfortable for you to also avoid labeling them just as much as possible.

being ok with his friends referring to him with she/her, miss, ‘sue’ instead of ‘harry’, and sis; his obsession with babies and especially wanting to get pregnant; relating himself only to female artists; etc.)

It’s worth considering - is this something for friends only? Or is it open to fans and other public sectors?

Usually if something is for friends only, it’ll be kept out of public eye, but if only friends are doing this, is this something that is only being shared with you or is it something you’re entitled to as well?

Aaaaaaaaalso, it has to be pointed out that it’s binarist and cisnormative in it’s own way to equate different names/pronouns automatically with being trans or being a specific trans identity. Wanting to get pregnant? Do you know how many cis women I’ve heard go on and on about wanting a penis so they can pee standing up (like... all of them anytime we’re outside or camping)? Plenty of cis people use pronouns you might not expect! You don’t have to be trans/nonbinary to use multiple or ‘atypical’ pronouns. Cis people are allowed to use other pronouns as well! They’re allowed to have names typically associated with other genders! Not all gender nonconforming or genderqueer people/people queering gender are trans! Not everybody exploring their gender nor gender presentation is trans!

not to assume he’s cis as he never specified that

It’s great to not assume someone is cis! But that doesn’t automatically make them trans.

i don’t want to misgender anyone but i don’t understand why relating to someone who, from their actions, could be part of the community is wrong.

Do you specifically, absolutely need to gender someone in order to relate to them?

i don’t understand why people keep shutting down the idea the harry could be trans when he never said he was cis and was ok being referred to as she.

I’ve only recently seen a tiny bit of this ‘discourse’ around on twitter, but what I see is a few issues/points:

A) It’s not up to us to claim someone as trans if they have not come out as trans. Coming out is an extremely personal choice and should be up to each individual. “Claiming” them is basically dragging them into something that very well may be not theirs. And if it is theirs, why would you want to steal that moment of getting to determine and declare that away from them?

B) We are all so done with cis, able-bodied white folk being prioritized above the rest of the queer community!!! There are actual, legitimate, out trans people that can be your trans role models and they’re being shoved to the back of the closet in favor of a privileged, white Schrödinger’s Trans. Let’s uplift our actual community instead of getting stuck on someone who may or may not be a part of community - and may not even want to be a part of it!

All that being said, I do want to say something really quickly on Harry himself because it ties back into the assumptions we’ve been talking about. Harry’s sexuality has long been a question on fans and journalists minds, and Harry has pretty consistently made it clear that he’s not really interested in labels or boxes. Harry’s gender is not something that has been asked about, talked about, or answered on much. And his comment on masculinity and femininity? Let’s remember that, like pronouns, masculinity and femininity don’t automatically or inherently relate to one specific gender or not. And, quite frankly, it is faucet of toxic masculinity and cissexism to equate a gnc man/man in a dress with being trans. Men are allowed to wear dresses and makeup and heels! Men are allowed to be soft and nurturing and to cry! Cis or trans, men are allowed to be these things, and arguing that they’re trans simply for doing or being any of these does continue to enforce dangerous and strict views of the gender binary.

Okay, it feels like I kinda put you through the wringer, so I want to go back and reiterate: it is 100% valid to relate to and feel connected to/inspired by someone on the basis of their presentation and gender exploration. It is not valid to claim ownership over their identity because of this. It is possible for two people to experience same or similar things and yet come to different conclusions about themselves!

If Harry Styles as an icon is important to you, I’m glad you can have that! But not everyone will or has to share your connection, and the only one actually qualified to speak on Harry’s gender is Harry himself. Harry could be trans, but it’s his right and his right only to claim that label. Any assuming we do is just that: an assumption. And I want you to be careful with your own feelings getting too attached to the image of Harry you’ve built up in your own head only to potentially have them shattered if Harry decides to speak on things and it turns out his feelings don’t mean what you thought.

Your identity is valid regardless of how Harry Styles feels or identifies. You feeling validated and seen and represented by Harry’s actions is valid regardless of how Harry Styles feels or identifies. It’s great to have role models and be inspired by people, but remember that at the end of the day, you need to be able to rely on yourself to keep up your ego and determine your sense of self.

~Pluto

#long post #mod pluto #identity #role models #discourse #gender #gender binary #cisnormativity #cissexism #mod tera #Anonymous

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pandapupremade · 3 years

Text

Rain

SHIP: Cao Cao x Cecilia (s/i)

WORDS: 971

CONTENT WARNINGS: mentions of characters sleeping, although not described in detail ; mentions of wounds/injuries and medical attention; mentions of weapons and war ; a quick, but immediately corrected misgendering

NOTES: This is my first time writing Cao Cao, so idk if i got him right but this was fun anyway. idk when this takes place exactly, likely before the Yellow Turban Rebellion though. also, Xiahou Dun is there, although i only learned in Dw7 that he doesnt. hes not supposed ot have the eyepatch at this point but id already begun writing

Reblogs appreciated, but not required!

The rain was pouring down on the camp later in the evening, when most soldiers had turned in for the night. Admittedly, there were some who did not receive such privilege, instead required for the muddy job of guarding and keeping watch...but these unlucky souls did work in shifts, and as a result they too would eventually get shut eye for a few hours. They, too, would be offered opportunity to listen to the rain from within the tents whilst not actually getting drenched...

Men like Lord Cao Cao could not quite understand these struggles, safe and dry and sleeping within his own tent - or that's what people assumed of him. In truth, he may have more understanding than he received credit for, and he certainly wasn't sleeping right now.

The candle lit up Cao Cao's face and the table in front of him, and lit up the shape of the man alongside him; Xiahou Dun.

"You should rest, cousin," Xiahou Dun spoke, raising the eyebrow not covered by an eyepatch, "Tomorrow we move out again..."

"Indeed..." Cao Cao's fingertips stroked his bearded chin. It was clear he was deep in thought as he gazed upon the map before him, but even the relative standing near could never quite read the lord's inner thoughts. "Still, I find it difficult to rest easy..."

"Worried, cousin? That's unlike you."

"I would be a fool not to, the days before a battle...Though worry isn't quite the issue. My mind is simply insistent working, even late at night..."

"Pondering strategies, then..." Xiahou Dun gazed for a moment later, then shook his head and moved to pick up his kanabo - a large weapon that many did not have the skill nor muscles to wield. "I won't interrupt you, if that's the case."

"No," Cao Cao sighed, "Perhaps that's the very thing I require. An interruption..."

A moment of silence, and then there was the sloppy scurry of wet footsteps outside the tent.

"And an interruption you may yet receive, cousin." The man commented dryly, as he and Cao Cao looked to the tent entrance. The flap opened, and a panicked soldier entered.

"L-Lord Cao Cao, sir, I'm terribly sorry for the intrusion, but -"

Cao Cao stood. "What's happened?"

"A wounded civilian, sir! On the outskirts of camp!"

"What?"

"A soldier believed they were an enemy troop, sir, but they - they seem to be a merchant...They also don't seem to be from our region..."

Cao Cao's eyes opened wider, then narrowed. "Fool, did you attack on impulse? Bring this individual to me at once, and fetch a doctor, as well..."

"A-ah, y-yes sir!" Although blinking at his instruction to bring the wounded merchant to him personally, the soldier did not argue and hurried to carry on the order.

Cao Cao sighed deeply, settling back down, although much tenser. Xiahou Dun eyed him curiously.

"...Someone you know?"

"How do you deduce that?" Cao Cao replied, shaking his head. "To answer, though, I believe it is..."

"Might I inquire?"

"You might." The lord placed his hands together on his lap. "I may be mistaken, but a foreign merchant...Such a description could fit them..." His voice trailed, but with Xiahou Dun's interested stare, he continued in a moment. "Cecilia, is her name..."

"A woman?"

"Not a woman - that's not how they view themself. Regardless, I have little doubt that they are our unexpected, uninvited visitor."

"I see...Do you have...feelings for them?"

A silence fell upon them, before Cao Cao replied with a slight twitch of the lips, before giving an actual verbal answer: "Quite the mind you have, Xiahou Dun. They are merely a merchant from the Roman lands whose empire has established ties, and thus trade routes."

"A merchant, then?" Xiahou Dun rubbed his bearded chin with further intrigue. "Well, I suppose it's good that they did not die then...Such a fiasco would definitely hurt our connections with Rome."

"Undoubtedly. In any case, Xiahou Dun. Get some rest."

Xiahou gave a half of a smile, almost teasing in nature. "Ah, of course. I'll leave you to your merchant business then, Cousin..."

........... ................

Cao Cao would soon be greeted by the army's physician, as well as the injured merchant and apologetic soldiers. He watched almost silently as the doctor worked, tending the wound and wrapping it in proper bandages. With a nod of thanks to the doctor, though said doctor seemed to want the wounded in their infirmary, he would soon dismiss them, and watch the wounded merchant on his own.

Mind you, he did not spend the time staring, and worked on writing instead. He did this in his spare time, as many knew, and figured now was as good as ever a time while his guest was resting. It wasn't until the individual began to stir, though, that he put his quill down.

"...Mmh...MMH..." They groaned softly, wincing, their black hair out of its bun slightly.

"Stay down," Cao Cao spoke, his voice stern, but with a slightly softer tone than usual. "You are injured."

"...L-Lord Cao Cao...?" Cecilia blinked slowly, "I- I'm sorry, I..."

"There is no need for such apologies." The lord frowned. However, his brow tensed a little. "However, you do understand you could've gotten killed...What were you thinking, following my troops? We are near our soon to be battlefield, and dangers from all corners could've haunted you...Consider yourself fortunate the guards missed any vitals..."

"I-I ...I was foolish..." Cecilia winced, and Cao Cao's expression softened again.

"Forgive my lack of restrain...Just..." He grit his teeth, and averted his gaze. "Please, don't do this again. If I lost you..."

"....I know, my Lord..."

More silence passed. Cecilia seemed to resume resting and Cao Cao would watch her a bit longer before returning to his writing. At least, for now, he'd gotten his mind off of strategies...

#kermitwriting #ok 2 reblog #💙♟️ The Hero of Chaos (Cao Cao)#🧵♟ Chaotic Visions (Ship)#✂️🧵 Cecilia (Self Insert)#👁️ Xiahou Dun Tag (Platonic)#injury tw #i am SO nervous posting this and idk why

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thepropertylovers · 3 years

Text

"Do You Do All the Grocery Shopping or Does Your Wife Usually Do It?"

I was in the check out line at the grocery store the other day having a lighthearted conversation with the check out clerk and the woman in line behind me, when suddenly, things to a drastic turn…

I was talking to Pauline, the check out clerk, about these blueberry breakfast bars I buy for PJ. They’re one of the only snacks he actually likes, so I try to remember to buy them whenever I go to the store. Pauline, however, hates them- she tried them once and thought they were gross. I laugh as she tells me this because our family quite enjoys them. I asked her if it was because she thought they tasted too processed since she also just let me know she cooks at home a lot and recently made Easter lunch for her son and his family. She said she doesn’t remember why, she just knows she doesn’t like them. Point made.

Meanwhile, the lady in line behind me points to my Blackbox of Chardonnay and inquisitively asks if that’s wine. I perk up and say yes, yes it is! And it’s so good! I tell her how you get four bottles in one box and it’s delicious and we’ve been doing boxed wine for the last year since it’s such a better buy money-wise. She tells me she has been wanting to try it for a while and she just may get some for herself.

She asks if I have a big family that I’m feeding with all the food and training pants that I’m buying. I proudly say that we have three foster kids at home who, even though they’re only ages five and under, eat so much all day every day, and that it’s been fun and challenging trying to come up with new things to cook when we don’t order takeout (which, sadly, has been more times that not lately). She asks me a bit about the kiddos and I gush to her about them, as anyone would.

Sometime during all of these exchanges I notice two younger girls in the line beside me paying attention to the different conversations we have going on. They’re probably in their late teens or early twenties. They don’t say anything, but I could tell they were interested and listening.

She gets to the end of ringing me up ($400 later), and I jokingly ask Pauline if she could tell I hadn’t been grocery shopping in a while and then I dramatically tell her I was grateful just to make it out of the store alive since I was already there for well over an hour. Pauline laughs and the lady behind me who asked about the wine laughs and then, with a smile on her face, she asks me a sincere, seemingly harmless question:

“Do you do all the grocery shopping or does your wife usually do it?”

I don’t know if it was because I had already been at the store for over an hour and was tired and had to pee or if it was because I was only half-listening as I was inserting my card into the chip reader, but for some reason her use of the word “wife” didn’t register to me. I was so confused! My wife? Well, I don’t have a wife? I’m gay.

So, I asked, “My wife?” And she replied, “Yes?” Pauline leaned in. “Oh, I don’t have a wife,” I matter-of-factly explained. “I have a husband, but I am the one who does all the grocery shopping and he will stay home with the kids or I’ll get my mom to watch them if he’s working. Honestly, though, I don’t mind because this is like my me time where I get to relax and be by myself and get away from all the noise for a while and kind of do my own thing, so I actually really enjoy it.” No one said a word.

The atmosphere drastically changed in a matter of seconds and suddenly it was a lot quieter as I took my card out of the chip reader. Pauline finished clearing all the bags and the girls beside us tilted their heads a little as they tried their best not to look like they were still listening. Finally, after a few seconds of silence (which can feel like eternity when it’s just you and a few others standing within a few feet of each other), the lady behind me exclaimed, “Oh okay! My daughter lives in Ohio and she and her husband just bought a million dollar house and I couldn’t believe it because the house they have now is so big that I sometimes get lost in it!”

I wasn’t sure what her daughter in Ohio buying a million dollar house had anything to do with the conversation we were having, but nonetheless, I smiled and said, “Good for her!” I assume she couldn’t find anything else to say after my revelation that she no doubt wasn’t expecting, and said the first thing that came to her mind. Maybe? Who knows. I didn’t mind either way. Pauline handed me my receipt with a smile on her face and we both told each other to have a nice day and that was that.

The thing no one tells you when you come out publicly for the first time is that you’re going to have to keep coming out for the rest of your life; to co-workers, to teachers, to classmates, to neighbors, to random people in line at the grocery store. For some, it never gets easier. It took a while for me to feel secure disclosing that I am gay and that I have a husband, not a wife, to strangers. It’s all about how comfortable and safe you feel in the situation. I now take pride in telling people I have a husband, especially here in the south, because it’s kind of a way for me to say, “Look! I’m an actual person that exists and that you can see and who has a life and who does the same things that everyone else does.”

It’s a fine line deciding who you want to spend your time on explaining you don’t have a wife or a girlfriend when you use the word “we” in a sentence. The exterminator I was talking to on the phone last year, who I had already decided I wasn’t going to use for reasons unrelated to anything other than price, innocently misgendered PJ and said “wife”. I was in such a hurry to get off the phone at that point because the kids were yelling and I had already made up my mind that he was too expensive, that I didn’t even bother correcting him. But the lady in the check out line was different to me because we were already having an honest, fun conversation about nothing, and since she asked, I found no reason to lie to her. I lied about who I was to everyone I loved for half my life until I met PJ; until I came out.

While I don’t think heterosexual should be the assumed default sexual orientation, I understand why people, especially in the area of the country we live in, automatically think your spouse/partner is someone of the opposite sex. It’s just part of life and part of being a member of the LGBTQ+ community, and it’s something we’ll most likely always have to go through.

I’ve found, though, that when I am upfront with someone and confidently tell them I have a husband and/or we have three kiddos, they never say anything negative to me. Maybe it’s because they’re taken off guard or because they want to save face and not come across as rude, but whatever the reason, when I am honest with someone and politely correct them when they misgender my husband, they are respectful and almost always apologize and continue on with the conversation like nothing happened.

Also, a lot of times (again, especially in the area we live in) people don’t talk to an openly gay person, face to face every day, so I like to always think of these moments of “coming out” as education for others who might not be so familiar with the LGBTQ+ community or who might have preconceived ideas about us. When you act like it’s no big deal that you’re gay and married and have kids, then maybe they’ll, too, realize it’s no big deal that you’re gay and married and have kids. Is it our responsibility to educate others who might not accept us? Maybe not, but we have an opportunity to open their eyes and show them we’re here and we’re not going anywhere, nor should we have to.

At the end of the day, I can feel joy and take comfort in knowing that I am gay, that I am happy as an out individual and, of course, that I not only buy those blueberry breakfast bars for my husband since they’re one of the only snacks he actually likes, but that I in fact do all the grocery shopping in our family. Not my husband, and certainly not my wife.

And I wouldn’t have it any other way.

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yikesharringrove · 4 years

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hello! i know you’re on a break and you don’t have to write this but i just thought of this and i’m a little obsessed with the idea so i thought i’d share! Imagine Olympian Steve and Billy, like snowboarder Billy and ice skater Steve (who could also be non-binary or gender non conforming) ?? and they are both super dedicated and they meet at the olympics one year and just hit it off, start dating in secret beacuse they don’t want the press that comes with being a olympic couple (part 1)

(part 2) and the only people that know are close friends but then when they show up for the olympics a few years after they met something happens to one of them, my thought is Billy totally crashes and gets hurt and steve doesn’t even know until after he preformed and he’s sitting with his coach and a reporter is giving an update on billy’s condition and steve overhears it and just breaks down, and people are filming him just sobbing his eyes out... (part 3) Steve ends up getting in the top three but they can barley stand on the podium they are so freaked out nobody’s telling them anything and he can’t even pull the significant other card to go see him because then he’s outing them and it’s very awful meanwhile Billy, whose doing pretty good just like a broken arm or something, is sitting in a hospital bed watching steve preform and being very proud and hen promptly freaking out because steve is suddenly bawling... (part 4) finally steve is able to go see billy and they are literally so relived to see he’s doing ok but they are both big time emotional and the internet is already theorizing about why steve was so freaked out so they decide to come out about their relationship and steve just plans on like casually mentioning it during an interview but billy decides to be extra and proposed to steve on live tv, they end up crying a lot more but obviously say yes (sorry this was so long)

This request has awakened my deep seeded LOVE of Shaun White. He was one of my first famous people crushes back when he was mostly skateboarding and let me TELL YOU the most recent winter olympic games, when he made his come back, and he almost didn’t get gold, but then he DID and the announcer went “the flying tomato flew again tonight!” I LOST IT!!!1

Plus I like the winter games more than the summer ones 🤷‍♀️

The beginning is loosely based off the fact that the Olympic Village is apparently just like, one big orgy the whole time lmao

“Well, aren’t you a pretty little thing.”

Billy, of course, knew who Steve Harrington is. His eyes had been glued to the screen in the PT room as he watched Steve compete, sakting beautifully in the Men’s Individuals to earn silver and make it look easy, helping the U.S. team to earn overall gold.

Granted, Billy had walked away with golds in slopestyle and halfpipe, and he wanted to celebrate.

Steve turned to Billy, dark eyes flicking over him.

“No thank you.” They turned back around, finishing their drink and placing the empty cup on the bar top.

“I’m, sorry?”

“I said no thank you.”

“No thank you to what?”

“To having sex with you.”

“I never said anything about having sex?”

“You slid over here, called me pretty, and gave me hard bedroom eyes. You wanna plow me, and I’m just not in the mood.” They went to push past Billy, put he took their wrist, holding loosely.

“Look, I’m sorry. I really did just come over to talk. I respect the hell out of you. You’re incredibly talented and just came onto the scene. I mean, this is your first Olympics, right?” They glanced at him through their lashes, nodding slowly. “I took me, like two games before I even got bronze. You’re a fucking good athlete. Just wanted to say.” He let go of their wrist. They bit their lip.

“You wanna buy me a drink? Keep telling me what a good athlete I am?” Billy grinned as they slip back into their stool.

Billy threw himself onto the couch, head resting in Steve’s lap. He groaned loudly, tracking Steve’s face for some kind of response.

He groaned again, louder this time. Steve bit their lip, trying not to laugh as they watched the tv.

He groaned one more time.

“Oh, gosh, Billy. Didn’t even notice you down here.”

They had stayed up all night that first night they met in person, had talked for hours about how they found their respective sports, what growing up was like.

Steve came from a little town in the Midwest. A little town in the Midwest that bred hockey players like nowhere else. Steve’s father had put them in hockey when they were young enough to stand on skates, but then Steve started showing a rapidly growing interest in figure skating, and the rest, as they say, is history.

Billy was always a skateboarder at heart. He grew up in California, bumming around the Venice Beach skate park with his friends whenever they could, skipping school to grind rails. And then his dad got married, and uprooted the whole family, moving them a few states over to fucking Utah. Billy figured snowboarding was close enough to skating that he could figure it out. So he did. And he loved it.

He and Steve had moved in together three years ago, almost exactly a year into their relationship. Steve wanted to begin working with a new coach, so Billy packed up his boards, and moved his shit back to California, Billy training most days at Mammoth Mountain.

“My body hurts.” He had been training hard, they both had, as the games were fast approaching.

“I mean, do you want me to actually help, or do you want me to help?” Steve’s long fingers were trailing along Billy’s chest. Billy just groaned.

“I gotta go ice. You can help later.” He tugged Steve down to press a kiss to their lips, heading off to fill the bathtub with ice, sink down low into it.

The opening ceremony was in less than two weeks, and Billy was fucking excited. He was in peak shape, had been perfecting his backside triple 1440 nosegrab.

He stretched out his sore muscles in the ice, made a mental note to get in with his PT tomorrow.

It had been a grueling week.

Billy had Steve had barely seen one another in between training and PT appointments and competing.

And of course the Men’s Figure Skating Final took place a few hours after the Men’s Slopestyle Final. Billy had already secured gold in the halfpipe.

Steve was sitting in their skates, stretching out before heading out to the ice.

They cleared their mind, going over their program again and again.

They got ready to take the ice.

They flew through their program, hitting every jump, every spin beautifully, trying not to cry as they left the ice.They knew they had fucking nailed it.

They stood, waiting for their marks.

“Steve! Steve! Have you heard about Billy Hargrove’s fall!” Steve’s head whipped around, staring at the reporter. “Aren’t you two friends?”

“Stevie, don’t pay them attention.” Their coach was trying to steer them away from the gaggle of cameras.

“No, I gotta, what happened to Billy?” They were trying to push back to the reporters. “What happened to Billy?”

“He fell in the slopestyle final! Had to be taken off in a gurney!” One of the reporters shouted back. Steve crumbled, let their coach take some of their weight.

“Steve, focus on your run.” They were shaking as they were led back to the bench, had tears streaming down their face.

“But, is Billy okay?” They didn’t even listen as their score was announced, as the crowd went fucking crazy for their gold metal.

And all Steve wanted was to get to Billy, to see if he was okay.

They were dragged on shaking legs to the podium, their face went, their hands trembling.

They had to stand there, listen to the U.S. National Anthem without fucking collapsing. They didn’t even give a fuck that they were ugly crying on international television.

And they couldn’t just say get me the FUCK to my boyfriend.

Billy was sitting in a hospital bed, his arm in a plaster cast

He had fucked up his elbow, completely dislocating it as he fell onto the hard snow. He was livid with himself for fucking up his slope style, was guaranteed at least bronze, but had come in sixth due to his nasty spill.

But he watched from the medical center as Steve skated so fucking perfectly in the finals, had set a new record for themself, the highest score they had ever gotten with an absolutely gorgeous program.

But something was, something was wrong with the way they stood on the pedestal, their tears were not celebratory as they appeared to be working themself into a panic.

And all Billy wanted was to get to Steve, to see if they were okay.

“Bill, oh my fucking God.” Steve just about threw themself onto Billy’s bed. They were fucking sobbing into his lap.

“Stevie, I’m okay. I’m good.”

“All they, all they said was the you were hurt, had to be taken off the course in a stretcher.”

“Yeah, I smashed myself pretty hard. But I’m okay. They fixed it.” Steve’s eyes were still all watery, made them looker even bigger.

“I just, I wanted to fucking scream at everyone to let me get to my boyfriend.” Billy trailed one hand down Steve’s face, just delicate fingers touching soft skin.

“We could tell people, if you want.” Billy had been extremely private about his sexuality throughout his career. He still had trouble coming to terms with himself, still had trouble getting his thoughts and feelings out from under his father’s thumb.

“We don’t have to.” Steve, on the other hand, had been sick of getting misgendered in interviews, had come out publicly with an Instagram post, a cute mirror selfie in a full face of makeup, a little yellow sundress Billy loved, and caption that just read They/Them.

“I want to. Want to tell the whole world how much I love you.”

Steve’s idea was just to mention it casually in an interview.

They had a string of interviews after their gold medal win, after they broke a personal record today.

But Billy had another plan.

He’s had the ring for close to eight months at this point, was just biding his time, waiting for the perfect moment.

And as he sat there, watching Steve smile so pretty at the reporter, he realized.

Now’s the time.

“You were extremely emotional on the stand after accepting your gold medal. Walk me through what you were feeling.”

“To be honest, it didn’t even register that I had won, and broken a personal score record. Someone had just informed me that my boyfriend had gotten hurt during the slopestyle finals, and I didn’t know if he was okay.”

“Your boyfriend? Billy Hargrove, then.”

“Yeah. I just heard he was in the hospital as I was waiting for my scores and I just kinda, kinda lost it.” Steve’s eyes trailed over to meet Billy’s, standing in the studio behind the camera.

He was holding the ring tightly in his hand, the one that wasn’t in a bulky cast.

Now or never.

“So, you and Billy Hargrove are currently in a relationship. How long has that been going on?” Steve gestured at Billy to join them on the couch. One of the crew members gestured for him to join them on the couch.

So he walked over, settled right in next to Steve.

“Since the last winter games, actually. That’s when we first met.” Billy grinned at Steve, leaned over to kiss them on the cheek. His palms were sweaty.

“Congratulations to you both!” Billy took a deep breath.

“It’s been really great! We live together and everything. Have a chubby little cat. The whole nine.”

The reporter laughed along with them, Billy’s leg was shaking.

“It’s easier dating an athlete, I think. They understand the rigor you got through training, how you put your body through Hell because you’re passionate about it.” Steve was using their hands to explain. Billy took a deep breath.

“So, you two have been completely quiet about your romantic relationship for these four years you’ve been together. Why did you choose to keep private, and why are you going public now?”

“Well, it was really hard for me when I heard Billy got hurt. I couldn’t just pull the significant other card to find out more information.”

“And we chose to stay private for a multitude of reasons. We mainly just wanted our careers to be the focus of our media attention and not our relationship.” Billy and Steve had spoken extensively about what they were going to say in the interview. Billy was incredibly private, didn’t really want to get into the whole my father physically abused me for being gay and I still have trouble accepting myself thing on public television. So they glossed over it.

“But things are going well?”

Now or never.

Billy’s heart was pounding in his ears. He could barely hear Steve over the sound of his own blood rushing. Was just able to tell when he finished speaking.

“It’s been a wonderful few years. In fact, it’s been so good, that, uh, I want it to never stop.” He took a deep breath. And slid off the couch.

Steve gasped as Billy settled on one knee on the floor, they had tears in their eyes when Billy smiled up at them, presented the pretty gold ring.

“Sweet Thing, you are the best thing to ever happen. You are kind, and compassionate, and so dedicated. I love everything about you, from how graceful you are on the ice, to how silly you are when it’s just the two of us. You are so perfect to me. I want my life to be exactly like these past four years have been, full of love, and laughter, and those snicker doodles you make just because you know I love them.”

Steve was openly bawling, clutching hands with the reporter.

“So, Stevie. Will you marry me?”

Steve launched themself at Billy, kissing his face, breathing yes yes yes into his skin, just barely remembering to mind his sore arm.

Billy took shaky breaths as he slid the ring on Steve’s finger.

Steve was tucked under Billy’s arm as they headed back to his room.

“I thought we had decided to just like, casually come out. I can’t believe you fucking proposed on live t.v.” Steve was staring at their ring.

“Been thinkin’ of proposals that are good enough for you for months. Figured, you know, might as well.”

“You coulda given me a Ring Pop in an alley outside of a biker bar and I still woulda said yes.”

“Yeah, but that clip has probably already gone viral. Now you can watch it whenever you wanna feel soft.” Steve scrambled for their phone, nose practically pressed against it as they looked for the clip.

Billy just laughed, shaking his head as he unlocked the door.

#yikes writes #steve harrington #billy hargrove #steve harrington x billy hargrove #billy hargrove x steve harrington #harringrove #harringrove fic #harringrove ficlet #harringrove drabble

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imagine-loki · 3 years

Text

Soulbonds and Fairy Dust

TITLE: Soulbonds and Fairy Dust (rewrite) CHAPTER NO./ONE SHOT: 24/?

AUTHOR: nekoamamori ORIGINAL IMAGINE: Imagine one of the fae has been helping the Avengers, jumping in to help them on missions and vanishing before Shield can bring her in. Loki joins the team and convinces her to come talk to the team and consider joining before Shield takes more drastic measures. RATING: M NOTES/WARNINGS: This is a rewrite of the original work of the same name. Also on AO3 here

“How are you feeling, Sig?” Loki asked as they rode side by side. Sig figured the question was equal parts checking on her and equal parts making sure she stayed awake enough to stay in the saddle.

Sig gave Loki a tiny smile meant to reassure her, but didn’t think she was successful in that endeavor. “Tired, but I’ll be alright,” she replied. Maybe some words would help reassure Loki.

“Hopefully when you get some food in you, you’ll feel a bit better,”

She nodded her agreement and they continued to ride. Thor finally found an eating house that was acceptable to everyone and they all dismounted and headed inside. They all headed to the tavern part of the inn and sat and ordered food and drink. The warrior boys loudly cheered about the glorious battle, even though they were injured.

Morons.

Sig picked at the meal, but she ate, knowing she’d need the energy to close the next gate that day. Loki watched her carefully, clearly concerned, but she stayed coherent enough to assure Loki that she was strong enough to keep traveling. When they finished eating, the group returned to the horses to head to the next doorway. The group decided they were going to stop halfway there to rest for lunch as it was farther away than the others had been. None of them trusted Sig to travel that far, not with how draining closing the portals was on her. She tried to hide how drained she was, but she was clearly exhausted, staring listlessly and unfocused as she rode.

Sif rode up to Loki’s other side. “I don’t understand the difference,” she told Loki softly so as to not disturb the listless, half-dozing, Sig. “You mages aren’t usually so drained by your magic and Sigyn has always been a strong sorceress. Why is this magic so draining on her?” Sif was curious and not asking maliciously. She really just wanted to know why this was different.

“Blood magic is not the same as the magic you see me or my mother use. It’s a more physical form. It takes an individual/s energy from the blood they spill to cast their spell. It drains them physically and mentally and can be extremely dangerous. That’s why every time Sig closes a gate, she looks and feels drained. It’s because she actually is. The magic I use takes a lot more raw power before I would become drained like that,” he gestured to Sig. Sif nodded her agreement, accepting Loki’s explanation. There was a reason blood magic wasn’t allowed to be practiced on Asgard. She still looked understandably worried about Sigyn, and more urgently, her ability to stay on her horse.

Sig managed to stay ahorse and awake until they found a village to have lunch in about halfway to the next gate. “We should rest here. We can continue onto the next gate after Sig gets some rest,” Loki told the others, getting more and more concerned about Sig as they had been riding.

“There’s a tavern, they should have lunch and Sig can rest there,” Thor agreed and the group started to dismount in front of said tavern.

Loki helped Sig down from the saddle. “Do she wish to eat now or rest first, Sig?” she asked her gently.

“Eat first,” she replied, ducking under Loki’s arm to wrap her arms around her waist. She trusted Loki to steer her where she needed to be while she closed her eyes for a moment and leaned her weight on her. Loki led her straight to an empty table and coaxed her into sitting down. She’d noticed how unsteady she was on her feet from closing the last doorway. It had been a miracle that she’d remained in the saddle. Sig ate what was placed in front of her without paying attention to what it actually was and laid her head on Loki’s shoulder as soon as the food was gone. Loki stood once she had finished eating and dragged Sig to her feet. She helped her to a room in the inn so Sig could get some desperately needed rest.

“Do you wish for me to stay?” Loki asked after she’d gotten Sig tucked into bed.

“Only if you want to,” she murmured, mostly asleep the second she was lying down.

“I’ll stay with you if you’re ok with that,” Loki would rather not leave her so defenseless. Sig nodded her agreement and moved over on the bed to make sure there was room for Loki to sit with her if she was so inclined. Sig closed her eyes again the second she was in position. Loki settled on the bed next to her and summoned a book to read to pass the time. Sig wrapped her arms around Loki’s waist like she was her favorite plushie and used Loki’s lap as a pillow, purring softly as she got some much needed rest. Safe with her Loki. Loki smiled warmly and ran her fingers through Sig’s hair while she napped. She thought Sig was adorable and loved having her safe in her arms.

Sig napped for a couple of hours before she stirred and sat up again, blushing a deep red at having used Loki as a pillow. Again. Loki was going to get annoyed if she kept getting used as a pillow. Loki didn’t like being touched. She didn’t quite understand yet that was the exception to that rule. It had only been a few days after all.

“How are you feeling, darling?” Loki asked her gently.

“Better,” she replied and gave Loki a real smile, looking much more alert and awake.

Loki’s smile grew even brighter and warmed Sig’s heart to see her Loki so happy. “Wonderful. Though we should be heading out before night falls,”

“We should have time for me to get the third doorway before dark,” she agreed and moved to get out of the bed. Loki nodded as well and they headed out to the tavern area where the morons were drinking. Thankfully, they were only drinking ale, so it hadn’t affected them much. They’d be fine by the time they made it to the next gate.

It didn’t take long to get everyone back on the road and Sig rode next to Loki chatting with her as they rode. “Was the battle awful at the last gate?”

Loki shook her head. “Not really. At least, not for me. The others had a much harder time,” she teased the warrior morons.

“Of course they did,” Sig agreed with a smirk. “You’re a much better fighter,” she told Loki warmly.

“He took all the easy ones!” Fandral protested, which just made Sig giggle. Annoying Fandral was a fond pastime from days long past. Even if Fandral was being dumb and misgendering Loki. Fandral was also a moron.

“No. You just aren’t as great of a fighter as me,” Loki replied easily. Taunting Fandral was fun.

Sig giggled even harder at their argument as Fandral spluttered that he was a great warrior. They all chatted for awhile and Sig eventually went back to reading her books. “So what do you think, Lady Sigyn?” Fandral asked her awhile later about…something… she hadn’t been paying attention while she was reading.

Sig looked up from her book and saw that he was arguing with Loki over whatever it was. “I wasn’t paying attention,” she admitted, “but whatever it was, I side with Loki,” she replied with a smirk. Loki smirked over at Fandral triumphantly.

“You can’t take Loki’s side without even listening to the argument!” Fandral protested while Sig turned her gaze back to her book.

She flipped a page in the book as Fandral started to try to explain it again. She held up a hand to stop his explanation. “I can. I’m going to side with Loki regardless, so safe your breath,”

Loki’s smirk only grew. “Thank you, darling,” she replied warmly.

Fandral spluttered indignantly at the pair, especially at Sig, the noble lady who wasn’t charmed by him. Sig smiled warmly at Loki. “Of course, Lokes,” she said brightly before she returned to her book properly.

All too soon, the group was making their approach to the third gate.

#Loki #Lover #Submitted fic #submission #Soulbonds and Fairy Dust #chapter 24 #nekoamamori #rewrite

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gothamincarnate · 4 years

Text

Interacting with d/Deaf muses (and d/DHH people)

for d/Deaf people reading this: I am HH but only recently Deaf so I am mostly speaking from that perspective and things I’ve heard from others in the Deaf community. If I am wrong on any point let me know. reblog this with corrections or simply send me an IM.

for hearing people reading this: like I said, my experince is incredibly personal as are most people’s navigation of Deafhood or deafness. don’t take this list and just assume it’s law. this is only tips. most of all be respectful to the individual.

putting it under a cut for length and so that i can append & correct it as needed.

I said I wasn’t going to “how to write a Deaf muse” but this needs to be said-

do not make your character d/Deaf only in a side verse. It is a lifelong thing for us.

there are people who are late deafened so chronologically this could be done, especially with regards to the Deaf journey.

but it should not be done as a side verse.

this is not to say that writing a Hearing character as Deaf is bad! In fact, I encourage you to. my main muse is Deaf Batman and I enjoy exploring his character in Deaf culture and deafness as a disability.

HOWEVER, his deafness is part of every verse that I have with him.

the reason for this is that, well, d/Deaf people face communication barriers every day and it’s not something we can take on and off for convenience. even with assistive devices we are still deaf.

Interacting with d/Deaf people in real life:

deaf & Deaf are two different things. feel free to google explanations on this.

do not question a person’s decision on how to self identify as d/Deaf or HH. if someone is being harmful then let someone who is d/Deaf handle it

a hearing person cannot give themselves or others a sign name even if a Deaf person gave them a sign name. if you want to change a namesign, ask another Deaf person. there are a rules and a required amount of fluency. It’s not just a nickname.

let the person you’re talking to set the course for using asl if at all. some of us are oral to varying degrees or use aids that work for us. many are bilingual, which means many will switch back and forth as needed when interacting with people. many even text or type instead.

there are varying degrees of hearing loss, not everyone is fully deaf. some are even hearing but use sign as their primary means of communication and therefore can be considered Deaf

lip reading is nearly impossible and takes a lot of concentration, mostly only get a few words because your outer lips only count for 20% of how we talk.

there’s also listening fatigue where is pretty self explanatory. don’t assume we even like lipreading. it’s difficult

don’t turn your face or bend down if we’re trying to have a conversation. it’s a visual language which means we need to watch your expressions and you need to watch ours.

do not, I repeat DO NOT! stare at anyone using ASL. it’s RUDE to watch us just because it’s “interesting” to you.

do NOT come up to use and sign the three words you know and walk off, don’t sign at us at all unless you mean to have an actual conversation.

stop calling ASL beautiful. Yes, it is beautiful for a lot of historical and cultural reasons but if hearing people just think its’ “beautiful” it because it’s highly visual

many go without listening aids for a variety of reasons, don’t ask about it unless the person offers you to ask them

some people are culturally Deaf & some people want nothing to do with it

some people prefer to consider deafness a disability and this is mostly an intracommunity issue, do not correct a deaf person on this

I know you have been meaning to learn ASL. Stop telling me that every time I use ASL or talk about it. It’s frustrating. Either learn it or don’t. If you really care about the ASL user in your life you’ll learn it.

do not, like never if you can help it, say “never mind” or give up when the person is asking you to repeat yourself. many of us have spent our whole lives hearing that. we deserve communication just like everyone else.

do not give a three word summary or say “i’ll tell you later”, it’s incredibly hurtful and singles us out and deprives us of a spot in the conversation

many people who use ASL use it out of a need to communicate, it’s not something we can just take for fun

Interacting with Deaf muses (not “how to write a Deaf muse”, do research for that)

hearing people cannot give themselves a namesign. do not give your hearing muse a namesign. don’t even give your d/Deaf muse a namesign. ask someone’s who a d/Deaf RPer to help you if you really want to.

some Deaf people don’t have namesigns

namesigns can change depending on who’s talking to who about what or as a character grows up. it’s not the same as a nickname but there can be nicknames in asl if established

if your character is holding something in their hands and needs to use ASL there are options. Have them tuck it in their arm or set it down. Have them use it when they sign as part of the sign. Though this requires fluency in sign. You could also have the character use one handed signs but this requires both fluency and knowing kind of what the person is talking about already like a friend or family member

if the character is holding something they can’t set down easily or at all for some reason. they will be unable to communicate with someone who is unable to hear until the object is set down. this happens in real life as well.

it takes 3 years to become conversational but if you are honestly trying most will be patient enough to fingerspell a lot

some people sign fast. asking them to slow down is frustrating to us but some will. it literally depends on the individual’s personality and past experiences

sign users often have accents due to what they learned or didn’t learn or growing up in a certain area or simply their personality. you can give your character a sign accent but like, put thought into why it’s the way it is. did they learn from a hearing teacher or a Deaf teacher?

consider the space your characters are in. siging space is a big bubble around your head and chest. this means you need to be able to hold your fully extended arms to the side and above your head. ASL users will stand a farther apart so that they have room to sign in front of them and watch the other person’s signing back.

yelling in ASL is louder and farther away, possibly looser due to being upset. ‘whispering’ takes a few extra steps like huddling or walking away.

I prefer to just translate it to English than try to gloss it or write out every sign. Taking into consideration the visual and physical, positive and negative aspects of ASL, you can still translate it to English

if you have your character obviously speaking or communicating ineffectively for some reason make sure to let the d/Deaf mun is okay with it. we already have Dinner Table Syndrome in real life, some don’t want to RP it. it’s like trans people don’t want to RP misgendering even if it “makes sense in context”

ineffective communication can include: a character mumbling or turning away. wearing a mask. not being able to see the person’s torso and face. an environment dim lighting.

if a hearing person corrects you, run it by a Deaf person first because there are hearing people who learning Deaf culture incorrectly and will white knight for us for no reason

if your character isn’t from Amercia they might not know ASL but another form of sign. Think of it like an English person learning a a language with similar roots. some words are shared or rather obvious many aren’t because it is literally an entire different language that developed

#here you go.#please reblog it uwu

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woman-loving · 4 years

Text

LBT Women and US Black Feminist Organizations in the 70s

Selection from Living for the Revolution: Black Feminist Organizations, 1968-1980, by Kimberly Springer, 2005.

This selection discusses how the issue of lesbianism figured in the collective identity of black feminist organizations in the 70s. It notably describes the incorporation of an antiheterosexism statement by the East Coast branch of the Third World Women’s Alliance in the 1972 issue of their newsletter, Triple Jeopardy, predating the Combahee River Collective Statement by several years.

It also gives an account of a black trans women who joined the National Alliance of Black Feminists after hearing the leader speak at one of her college classes. However, the leader later outed her to the group, and the woman--who is misgendered in the interview--stopped attending after being “confronted” by other members. Despite its transmisogynistic conclusion, the account raises the possibility that other trans women may have also taken interest in and attempted to attend early black feminist organizations.

There isn’t a focus on bisexuality in this selection, but a lesbian founder of the National Black Feminist Organization mentions that the organization was “multisexual” in that it had straight women, bisexuals, and lesbians.

These accounts also remind us to be attentive to the fact that lesbian, bisexual, and trans women don’t only organize in LGBTQ-specific movements, but may also be promoting their concerns through other movements.

Sexual Orientation and Black Feminist Collective Identity

Again, it is important to return to the distinctions among the black feminist movement, the separate organizations' visions of black feminism, and black feminist collective identity. While the black feminist movement's initial vision did not include sexual orientation as a defining aspect of black women's identity, individual organizations and members articulated lesbian-positive and/or antiheterosexist principles to the movement's vision. The NABF [National Alliance of Black Feminists, 1976-1979], NBFO [National Black Feminist Organization, 1973-1975], and BWOA [Black Women Organized for Action, 1973-1980] included discussions of sexuality in their organizations, but they did not interrogate heterosexism as an oppressive force in black women's lives, regardless of sexual orientation.[46] However, the East Coast branch of TWWA [Third World Women’s Alliance, 1968-1980] and Combahee [River Collective, 1974-1980] both laid the foundations for challenging heterosexism and including lesbianism as an integral part of the black feminist movement.

Combahee was the only organization in this sample to mention "heterosexual oppression," but it did not thoroughly explain this form of oppression and its impact on black women's identities. The term heterosexism, the normativity of heterosexuality, was not yet in use among activists.[47] However, most readers of Combahee's statement may have deduced the implicit meaning of heterosexual oppression as heterosexism or homophobia. For other readers, the Combahee statement was possibly the first time they were force to recognize publicly black lesbian existence, the daily oppression black lesbians face, and the considerable sexual diversity within black communities.

Combahee was on the front lines of black lesbian feminist struggle in the 1970s, yet the statement neglected to specify the ways black communities were complicit in perpetuating heterosexism. [...] The Combahee statement omitted an explicit challenge to heterosexism, due to the timing of the organization members' individual coming-out processes and the desire to explain feminism on its own merit. [Barbara] Smith and other Combahee members strategically claimed a black and feminist identity before they claimed a lesbian one, though they claimed all three equally. For Combahee members, the separate emergence of feminist and lesbian consciousness undermined stereotypes of all feminists as lesbians and all lesbians as feminists. For people who relied on this analogy, feminist and lesbian were conflated identities and the sum total of a black feminist identity. The Combahee statement sought to disrupt this conflation. To a degree, an explication of black heterosexism was present, but underarticulated in the interest of establishing the foundational basis of solidarity between Combahee's black feminism and black communities. Still, lesbian visibility was a courageous and revolutionary move for Combahee to make, particularly in a social movement environment often divided by homophobia.

Predominantly white feminist organizations experienced lesbian/straight splits that divided organizations and disrupted a unified definition of feminist identity. Of the five black feminist organizations, only the TWWA's members recall an expulsion of lesbians similar to the homophobia that gave rise to the "Lavender Menace" in NOW [National Organization for Women].[49] Homophobia erupted in both the East and West Coast branches of the TWWA and impacted the development of their feminist collective identities. How these two branches of the same organization handled issues of lesbian inclusion and homophobia differed dramatically.

It is unclear whether the West Coast heterosexual members, succumbing to fears of lesbian baiting, expelled lesbian members or whether members who were lesbians, weary of homophobia, left the organization. Regardless of that distinction, the West Coast branch lost several members who were central to running the organization. The expulsion acted directly against the established principles of the TWWA, but there were no formal sanctions against the West Coast branch.

On the East Coast, [Frances] Beal recalls, the organization was approached by out lesbians about membership. Unlike the schisms of the West Coast, the East Coast TWWA eventually saw the inclusion of lesbians as an opportunity for growth in its organizational objectives:

"Beal: That was the other ideological fight that we had, which was important. We were approached by two lesbians ... who said, "Listen, we want to be completely honest: we're lesbians. There's no organization for us." One was Puerto Rican, one was black ... so we had a big discussion about that. Some people said, "Oh, my god. We have enough problems as it is! People are already calling us lesbians." That was another thing. We were lesbian-baited. ... Two people said that they were lesbians, and we had this big discussion whether we should do this and some people said no, we shouldn't do it.

Interviewer: Allow them to be in the group?

Beal: Yeah. And finally, like I said, we had all this debate. People were very honest in terms of discussion and feelings and stuff, but finally people said, "In New York, how can we do this? I mean, we can't really turn sisters away. If they agree with the political orientation and purpose of the organization, there's no way that we can be prejudiced." So we came up with this, what I consider now--from what I understand about the gay and lesbian movement now--we came up with this very liberal position. Whether it's biological or social--you know, homosexuality--people should not be prejudiced and discriminated against. That was, basically, the position. ... And a couple women left over that. They said, "no." They had enough problems as it was. They didn't want to be lesbian-baited. [...]”

Beal cogently deconstructed the intent of lesbian baiting: it split the organization interpersonally and ideologically. In response, the East Coast branch incorporated an antiheterosexist position into the TWWA's principles of struggle, recognizing the connections between patriarchy and homophobia: "Whereas behavior patterns based on rigid sex roles are oppressive to both men and women, role integration should be attempted. The true revolutionary should be concerned with human beings and not limit themselves to people as sex objects. Furthermore, whether homosexuality is societal or genetic in origin, it exists in the third world community. The oppression and dehumanizing ostracism that homosexuals face must be rejected and their right to exist as dignified human beings must be defended."[51]

This statement, appearing in the 1972 issue of Triple Jeopardy, is not only politically progressive for the early 1970s, but is chronologically well in advance of Combahee's later assertion of the existence of lesbians and gay men in black communities. Hence, when Combahee is cited for its pioneering efforts to expand the black feminist agenda to include antiheterosexism, the work of the East Coast TWWA should also be recalled.

Not all black feminists or organizations openly opposed homophobia, and some were restrictive in their definitions of sexual freedom. Some members of the NABF, for example, did not want to discuss lesbianism in their consciousness-raising groups, committees, or Alternative School workshops on sexuality. The intricacies of black sexual diversity were decidedly marginal to some NABF members' definitions of black female sexuality.[52] [Brenda] Eichelberger recounts an incident in which she revealed that someone attending the NABF's monthly meetings was transgendered:[53]

“Eichelberger: We even had one time, and I don't remember the person's name--in retrospect, I should have said nothing, but I'm the one that brought it up--I brought up the fact that there was a man at our meetings. That this was a man in drag. This was a--I won't say, "drag." This was a man who was dressed like a woman. And actually what made him come ... was a professor at U of I [Illinois]. ... She was a black woman. She had me speak to her class, and this guy was there at the time--dressed like a woman all the time.

Interviewer: In class?

Eichelberger: Yeah, in the class and then he joined our organization. Now, I shouldn't have--well, of course, coulda', shoulda', woulda'--I can't change the past. But anyway, I know at one time I mentioned--because he was coming to the meetings--and I mentioned--I said, "You know we have someone here who was a man." And, um, I think some women knew who it was, and others were saying "Who? Who? Who? Who?" And, so, a number of women got very upset, and they wanted to confront him and they did confront the guy. [...]

[Janie] Nelson: This was actually a man who had had a sex operation and was now a female. And we were real concerned about that. I remember Brenda calling up the members saying "What should we do? What should we do?" Because if we put him out, he could sue us [because of the NABF's nonprofit status] ... and luckily, things petered out. He just disappeared. He didn't come back. [...]”

Rather than attempt to understand gender identity and how this particular female/male conceptualized existence as a woman in the organization, some members of the NABF pushed her/him out of the organization with their limited knowledge of transgender identity and homophobia.[55]

The incident within the NABF highlights a number of issues that occurred in black and feminist organizations in the 1970s. It is too simple to conclude that black feminists were conservative and counter to the sexual revolution ethos of "anything goes." Despite the NABF's claims to legal concerns, all feminist organizations, irrespective of race, faced a lack of language to describe the diversity within biological sex and gender, homophobia, and fear of difference.

Some lesbian NABF members felt other members were homophobic and that the organization's activities did not reflect black feminist collective identity in its entirety. Looking for affirmation and advice, Chicago NBFO chapter members such as Sharon Page Ritchie asked other black feminist organizations for guidance. Upon learning of Combahee's plans for a black feminist retreat in Boston, she wrote this in reply to Combahee's 1977 preretreat survey: "The small NBFO chapter we have exhausted itself in trying to counter [a local black feminist leader]. We never got much past C-R [consciousness raising], and eventually we stopped meeting for that. How have other women dealt with women who claim to be feminist, yet behave in very anti-woman, anti-lesbian ways."[56] Ritchie's query and the aforementioned incident with the NABF's transgendered recruit connect two issues: black women's divergent definitions of black feminist identity and the homophobia of heterosexual black women. In response to accusations of homophobia in the NABF, Eichelberger resolves the issue as one of members differing expectations[...]. [...]

Eichelberger conceptualized the NABF as an umbrella organization. From her perspective, lesbians who wanted more of a focus on "a lesbian agenda" should have used the NABF as a resource to start independent organizations. Eichelberger and Nelson group lesbians with other groups of women they labeled as "factions," for example, socialists in the organization, but to frame lesbians as a special interest group ignores discrimination and the heterosexual privilege of straight black women. Members who agreed with Eichelberger saw lesbian as a category separate from feminist. Although they wanted to broaden the feminist agenda to include race, some heterosexual members of the NABF effectively excluded sexual orientation, and its implications for heterosexual women's sexuality, from the agenda of the NABF.

In other black feminist organizations, lesbians and straight women worked together to varying degrees of success. Generally, those organizations (e.g. the NBFO and Combahee) were founded by lesbians and included opposition to homophobia by integrating an antiheterosexist position into black feminist collective identity. Eichelberger and [Margaret] Sloan note that most NBFO members knew that Sloan was a lesbian and respected her role in starting the organization.[58] Still, there were some members, lesbian and heterosexual, who had problems with her prominent role in the organization. One concern was that Sloan's lesbianism would deter potential constituents and allies from supporting NBFO. Similar to the TWWA's struggles concerning homophobia. Sloan, Eichelberger, and [Deborah] Singletary recall debates about lesbianism and heterosexual women's concomitant fear that they would be seen as lesbians by association.[59] Sloan did not see external homophobia as a concern of the NBFO, but she believed that internal homophobia slowed down the organizations' momentum:

"It [the ideological dispute] was just stuff about race, and there was ideological stuff about whether we were going to--the group was multisexual. I mean, there were straight women and bisexuals and lesbians. And I think that there was a fear that people would think that we were a lesbian organization--God forbid--so they didn't want us to--those of us who were lesbians--I think that they wanted to sort of keep that--it was sort of like NOW in the early days. You know, "We know you're running this. We know you're the best, but let's keep that down." ... So stuff like that, you know, any time a group of women gather people assume you're lesbian, so that was what they said about a lot of organizations during that time. It wasn't a big concern--it wasn't a big, big issue, but it was a concern. It was a concern."[60]

Similarly, Jane Galvin-Lewis and Deborah Singletary, in nothing the role of lesbians in starting the NBFO, remark on the reverberations of homophobia from within and without the organization:

“Galvin-Lewis: And even though that is the case people have this notion, "Oh yeah, well, you know, if they had a man they wouldn't be pro-woman." And it's much like the race thing. You know, if you're pro-black it doesn't mean you have to be antiwhite. And to be profemale does not mean you have to be antimale. But because we were going with the feminist notion and people had their own ideas about it being a gay organization, which it never was, was never intended to be, and that was not the point. But it kept raising its head. ... Then, on the other hand, we had those people when we just--as women--we would want to take a stand on a position that had to do with gay women--we got the overwhelming groundswell of people that felt, "Oh, no! Don't touch that. That's not what we want to be about. ..." I'm just saying that had raised its head several times, as I recall, and we never gave into because it was not our point. That's not what we wanted to be about. We wanted to be about women--not any gay women, straight women--we wanted to be about women.

Singletary: We did have a committee called "Triple Oppression: Being Black, Female, and Lesbian," and they formed to deal with some of the gay issues.

[Eugenia] Wilshire: But I think it's to the credit of the organization that that [a gay/straight split] was not what split it--ever.

Galvin-Lewis: No. It wasn't. ... It never took hold, but it was raised on several occasions. And on the other side it was raised on several occasions.”[61]

The NBFO, despite outside criticism, was one of the few black feminist organizations besides Combahee to have a committee dedicated to connecting the concerns of black lesbians to the organization's agenda. But the NBFO, like the NABF, had contested definitions of black feminist identity at work in the organization, this ideological dispute was only the beginning of the struggle to incorporate antiheterosexist principles into black feminist collective identity and the movement's vision more broadly.

The presence of lesbians or demands for inclusion did not disrupt black feminist organizations. But, the homophobia of heterosexual women stunted the growth of a cohesive black feminist collective identity. Although black lesbians were central to the formation of black feminist collective identity from the beginning, there were attempts to erase them from these organizations' historical narratives.

#lgbtq history #lesbian history #black history #black lgbtq history #feminist history #feminism #us history #black women #women of color #trans history #trans women #black feminism #kimberly springer

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atinyhours · 4 years

Text

reaction: ateez s/o being nonbinary

anon: maybe ateez reaction to their s/o being pan and defining themselves as nonbinary (yes okay i literally just described myself)

note: you also described me so!!! uwu anyways a gift bc im avoiding studying for finals. *reminder that this is just my opinion* also ateez doesn’t support terfs, truscum, or transmedicalists :) also this lowkey just turned into ateez as trans rights activists 👉👈

Hongjoong:

he seems like a pretty open guy, spent time learnign about gender and sexuality and sex and the differences

literally doesn’t matter to him what gender you are, as long as you still love him you’re all good

when you tell him he lets you speak before asking any question

prefaces every question with “i don’t want to make you uncomfortable so you don’t have to answer”

if you decide to change your pronouns or name he’s 100% on board

askes you who he can tell and correct when they misgender you bc he doesn’t want to out you or create any dangerous situations

buys you lots of new gender affirming clothes and celebrates small victories with you, like getting correctly gendered in public

he’s your number one hype man

Seonghwa:

he is confused at first

like wtf is a nonbinary, but then you answer his questions and he googles the ones he’s too embarrassed about and BAM everything’s good

honestly as long as you’re still his baby he’s happy

is very aware of the gendered pet names he called you in the past and works very hard to find gender neutral alternatives

starts with normal ones like honey, or little one, but it slowly descends into madness

“hey sweet pancakes” “my lovely cloud” “my favorite cutie patootie booty”

spends time educating the boys so they know how to address you now

he makes sure everyone respects the absolute hell outta you

no misgendering or mean comments here

or seonghwa will beat them up

Yunho:

this boy is the absolute sweetest thing in the entire world

when you come out he’s 100% supportive and ready to help you do whatever he can to help you feel gender euphoric

really just an angel

starts reading up more on trans identities and how he can support the community as a whole

buys trans flags/ nonbinary flags to hang up

he’s just really excited to be there for you and be the best ally he can be

is calm when helping you explain it to others and when you get frustrated he is there to educate when it gets exhausting

the kinda person to then question his own gender and question gender as a social construct entirely and start getting angry at baby gender reveals and color associations and fights back real hard

Yeosang:

we all know yeosang shy, but he’s confrontational

someone fucks up your pronouns, this boy is THERE AND ready to calmy educate as long as people are trying, but fight if they’re disrespectful

obviously gives you all his clothes to wear if you decide you’d like a more masc look, but will take you shopping to buy you a new wardrobe if you decide you want to change the way you present

is always telling people “just bc my s/o looks like *insert sex here* doesn’t mean they’re not nonbinary” “clothing has no gender”

loves you with his whole heart and knows that the boys have his back always if they have to defend you

the kind of person to recommend resources that he can spread to help educate other people

kind smart boy trying to save the world

San:

very loud about your gender and pronouns

not in a dangerous way, he always knows who is around but screaming about how proud he is of you

always has the best intentions but some times gets caught up on things

“but if you don’t believe gender is like a real thing why are you so worried about wearing men’s clothes?”

you have to explain that even though you don’t like gender, the world does and presentation, although it is an individuals choice, you are attempting to appear more *insert gender here* in order to be perceived a certain way

this boy always has questions and criticisms of gender

ready to fight terfs, truscum and transmedicalists

gets in comment fights on the internet and attaches sources to back him up, san is serious as hell about this

Mingi:

confused to start

gender is super confusing anyways but the fact you can be neither/both really sends him overboard

switches name/pronouns right away and works real hard not to slip up

asks lot of questions all the time

“so if gender isn’t on a spectrum, how does it work? like it is a pool of ducks and your gender is a duck just swimming along, no correlation to the other ducks?”

watches a lot of trans youtube videos to further understand

seeing other peoples experience really helps understand you and gender as a concept

king of gender neutral terms and pet names

you’re his royalty and nothing less

Wooyoung:

sweet boy

a sweet lil boy who listens so well and tries his best

buys you things that he knows will make you feel gender euphoric

loves u more than anything in the world

he just really is proud of you for being vocal about your gender and standing up for yourself and educating people

absolute angel boy who has your back

if your relationship with him goes public he makes sure to always talk about your pronouns so its clear what they are

gets angry when the media misgenders you

so vocal about how trans rigths are human rights

always finding new ways to educated himself and the people around him

Jongho:

like san he’s ready to fight anyone who tries to fuck with you

YOU GET A TRANS FLAG ! yOU GET A TRANS FLAG ! THE KITCHEN ! THE LVIINGROOM ! EVERYTHING IS TRANS AND GAY NOW!!

no but really tries his best to show you how supportive he is of you bc he wants you to know that who you are isn’t wrong

he knows the worlds a shitty place, and wants to make you feel safe at home with him

reads up on lgbtq+ rights and things to get a better understanding

uses his public platform to make sure lgbtq+ atinys know they are loved and always safe with ateez

a vocal ally !

he’s just the best boy i am soft now imaging jongho at a pride parade smiling and waving flags and :((((((( my boy

#ateez reaction #ateez #ateez fluff #ateez writing

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thealpacalypse-archive · 5 years

Text

A handy guide to avoid accidental transphobia

For cis people in the Druck fandom who write fic, headcanons or meta and don’t wanna mess up

Including questions like: Is David trans? Is he beautiful? Is he wearing a binder this whole damn time?? What’s his story?

hey everybody, I’ve debated making this post for a while now because I don’t want to seem ungrateful to the people who are already trying, and I know that there are other trans people in this fandom who are already doing a pretty good job educating people, but then again, why not share my thoughts as well.

In this post, I’ll collect a few headcanons, meta, and other discussions that i’ve seen around here and that made me personally uncomfortable - now be aware that i’m only one trans person and that other people can have other opinions on this, but also i’ve done trans activism for a few years now and i’m a gender studies major, so I definitely know what i’m talking about. also, a fair warning: this is gonna get long as heck. okay, let’s go.

Is David trans? The truth is: We don’t know yet. We only know that the actor who plays him, Lukas Alexander, is a trans guy. Now I’ve seen various people speculate if that automatically has to mean that David is trans as well, and obviously, no. David could be cis for all we know, and yes, casting trans actors in cis roles can be a pretty cool thing. However, if you’re cis, it would be cool if you reblog trans people’s opinions on this instead of shouting loudly about your own opinion, especially if it is that David should be cis for whatever reason. Why is that problematic? Trans activists are currently fighting for representation in media. There aren’t many trans characters we can look up to, especially not such young characters in a show that has such a big impact on a generation of young people. Many trans teenagers have never seen themselves represented in media, and many trans adults like myself are still craving for that good, good representation. Most of the time when we get trans characters, they’re played by cis actors - and because it’s mostly cis men who play trans women and cis women who play trans men, it perpetuates the idea that trans people are just especially well dressed up men and women who trick people into believing they’re ‘the other sex’. (ugh) Even though that’s a different problem, it links to this one as well, because trans stories in media are rare, and it’s even rarer to have them portrayed by trans actors. Yes, it would be revolutionary and gender-redefining if trans actors could play cis characters (or just characters whose cis or trans status is never brought up in the first place), but that’s one step ahead of the game in my opinion and tbh, cis people saying that they want David to be cis for whatever reason is just... suspicious.

Is David beautiful? Well, I’m sure we can all agree that this boy is a sight for sore eyes, and i’m pretty proud of this fandom for weeding out the transphobic assholes who called him ugly at the beginning of the season. I’m sure by now they’ve all seen the error of their ways because HECK, in levels of attractiveness, David is a king. Though it might not be the best to call him ‘beautiful’, ‘pretty’ or other usually female-gendered words when you’re cis and describing him. Why is that problematic? Listen, there’s absolutely nothing inherently bad about calling boys pretty or beautiful or whatever - I personally am an absolute goner when it comes to soft boys™ and their aesthetics, and I also think that denying boys to be soft and pretty is misogyny in a way, because it’s implying that female-coded things are bad. However, there are many trans boys (and other trans and nonbinary folks who were assigned female at birth) who feel uncomfortable when these words are used for them because it can be linked to misgendering or remind them of times before they were out. Trans people are often highly aware of their body and looks, because the way we look is heavily observed, judged and policed by society, and most of the time, being seen the (gendered) way we identify is the only way we get respect and basic decency. We don’t know yet if David personally has a problem with being called beautiful or whatever, but we also don’t know how the actor who plays him feels about that, and there are a couple of trans boys in this fandom who’ve already expressed their discomfort with these words. So in order to protect them and make this fandom safe for them, it seems like a small price to pay to consider our choice of words more carefully when we describe David, and try to avoid female-coded words.

What about David’s chest? Now this one is tricky. I’ve seen discussions about it a lot: Does David wear a binder, did he wear it the whole time he was with Matteo, does he maybe not even bind, did he have a mastectomy? The underlying tone of these discussions is worry - we all want David to be safe and comfortable, and seriously, let me tell you once and for all: a binder shouldn’t be worn longer than 8 hours a day, it shouldn’t be worn when sleeping, and it shouldn’t be worn when doing sports (also relevant for our jock boy). It’s not safe and it can heavily damage the breast tissue, ribs, and lungs - it can be literally life-threatening. It’s perfectly fine to worry about this, but it still feels uncomfortable to watch cis people debate the state of a trans boy’s body in such detail. Why is that problematic? Trans people’s bodies have always been scrutinized and judged - by medicine, by the state, by society as a whole. We always have to prove ourselves and our bodies, and convince people that we’re not just tricking them into believing we’re someone we are not. A lot of ‘true womanhood’ or ‘true manhood’ apparently revolves around genitalia, at least cis people seem to think so. Which is why so many trans people (and let’s be real here, especially trans women) have to deal with the question: “Have you had the surgery yet?” - meaning, did they already undergo the one surgery among the various ones trans people might consider, that reshapes their genitalia in a way that is acceptable to society. Cis people often use these questions about our bodies and the way we change them to delegitimatize us and take away our status as a ‘real’ man or woman. Other than that, trans people’s bodies often get portrayed as something freakishly exotic by cis people; there’s a certain voyeurism about it, and it often gets sexualized - just look at the way trans women are treated in mainstream porn. Cis people examining our bodies, theorizing about what kind of operations we’ve had or haven’t had yet, and possibly sexualizing or belittling/dehumanizing us for it, that will always be very thin ice, because it comes with a lot of emotional baggage for trans people individually and as a community.

What’s David’s backstory? We’re all wondering that, especially since Druck is mixing up the whole Skam setting so much and we really don’t know what they have in store for us. Obviously I’m just as thirsty for theories as the rest of the fandom, but I’ve also read a few things that kinda irked me. Here’s what to avoid: Referring to David as a girl or female in any way, speaking about him in the past with “she/her”-pronouns or coming up with a deadname for him. Oh lord please don’t. It’s nothing but misgendering and it’s so, so wrong. If you’re cis, also please reconsider posting headcanons for his backstory that contain heavy transphobia. Not only can that trigger trans people in the fandom (please use trigger warnings for that stuff, okay?), but there’s also a long history of cis people taking trans narratives away from us and making them only about suffering and pain. Sure, dysphoria sucks, the discrimination sucks, but me, a trans person, complaining about these things is WAY different from a cis person fantasizing about a really painful, possibly violent life for a trans character. Sure I want realism and I want a platform where we can discuss the truly awful experiences many of us have because we’re trans, but I wish that cis people would boost trans voices for that instead of coming up with their own fucked up fantasies about how badly a trans character might have been treated. If you’re writing fic or meta and you want to find an explanation why David changed schools so close to the end of the school year, you don’t have to dig deep into the trans pain to explain it. It’s not that uncommon for trans people to change schools, work places, etc. once they’ve transitioned far enough to feel comfortable - a new start makes the stuff like name changes, new gender presentation, etc. easier. And even if David’d move is related to transphobic experiences, I don’t really need to read detailed descriptions of it. You wouldn’t want to obsess over someone else’s trauma in vivid detail in front of them, so please be cautious when writing about something that’s seen as traumatic by many trans people.

Other useful pointers: There are trans people in this fandom who voice their opinions - seek them out, listen to them, boost their voices, don’t speak over them when they talk about trans experiences. Don’t focus too much on the fact that David is (or might be) trans. Like sure, include that in your writing, but make sure you know that it’s not the only and not the most interesting thing about him. In most regards, he’s just a boy, and he has a lot of character traits that tell us just as much about him, like the fact that he’s really closed-off, competitive af, artistic, a music lover and a complete emo dork, seems to have an active flight-or-fight response,... you see what i’m getting at. Let’s obsess about David on these terms, and I’m sure we’ll get a whole lot of new and interesting meta and fic about him that all of us can enjoy.

#druck #david schreibner #datteo #davenzi #mavid #my posts

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my-darling-boy · 5 years

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SO I’ve been getting people in my inbox asking me if I could explain the struggles of being trans. Obviously I’m willing to educate but there’s a LOT to unpack on understanding that, so to narrow it down, I’ll list things I or some trans people close to me have gone through to give you an idea of the difficulties. I obviously don’t speak for all trans people but as a trans man myself, I have Been Through Some Things

//Rape mention, self harm mention, suicide mention//

•When I came out at 14, I lost all my friends aside from one. I was bullied extensively behind my back. I was dragged to church by my friends who wanted to cleanse me of my “sin”

•I was the only out trans man in my entire school of 2000 students. I knew zero trans people. Everything I had to learn as a kid about being trans was done so entirely by myself. Additionally, the school’s Gay-Straight-Alliance Club kicked me out because I was a masculine trans man

•My parents lied and told me I had certain health concerns which would prohibit me from medically transitioning because they didn’t want me to do it

•I had zero support system. I almost attempted suicide at 14 and self harmed frequently from 13-18 years old

•Many trans people develop eating disorders; for a lot us, we feel we can avoid being misgendered if we look a certain way. It can be caused by depression or from a means of “controlling” something about ourselves when our lives are out of control; I developed anorexia at 16 and struggle every day with it still at 21

•I was constantly told by cis “friends” even cis LGBQ+ “friends” that I would never find anyone to love me because I was trans

•I should point out, I’m not trying to attack other cis LGBQ+ people, I’m trying to point out that injustices and bullying towards trans people happens WITHIN the LGBTQ+ community by cis members. As in, being gay doesn’t mean you’re immune to being a transphobe

•Starting at 14 when I came out, I was constantly asked about how I would have sex since I was trans by both adults and classmates

•I was preyed upon in high school by a guy who had a trans man fetish. The vast majority of trans people will experience a form of sexual abuse/harassment at least once from cis people. Trans people are sometimes seen by cis people as being part of a fetish or like a “sex toy”, thinking we’re just here for their disgusting kinks

•Kids in the hall would pass me at school and make comments like “is that a boy or a girl? *laugh*” or refer to me as an “it”

•There were so little resources for trans people where I lived that I became the trans man every trans person came to for advice meanwhile other cis members of the LGBTQ+ community had many friends to confide in. Trans people are often barred from being accepted into these cis LGBQ+ circles

•A trans man friend of mine, who was a minor at the time, was raped by an adult cis man in a men’s restroom minutes from where I lived. I refuse to use public restrooms due to this fact alone, no matter how cis I look when entering a men’s restroom

•In many places throughout the world, it is illegal to use the restroom of a different gender than you were originally assigned. Even just minding our own business and using the restroom is for some reason an issue among cis people. In one restroom I could be harassed and in the other, I could physically assaulted. Or arrested! Testosterone was the only way I could go into the men’s restroom without being preyed upon by cis men and even then, I have to wait for the place to be empty, even if it’s legal for me to be in there

•When visiting dangerous areas, I have to bind my chest for 12+ hours because I never enter a place where I can take the binder off. In a very conservative area that strictly prides itself in male/female cis people, trans people feel forced to make sure we LOOK either way or else we could be harassed/jumped, as there are places not far from me where non-binary/trans/trans-nb people will not venture to because it’s unsafe. It would be easy to hide I’m gay in a dangerous area, as I just don’t mention being gay, and you can’t inherently “see” as person is gay as it’s a sexual orientation. But in a dangerous area, if I say I’m a man and someone catches on to the fact I’m not a cis man, bad things could happen to me. (I’d like to add that the vast majority of trans hate crimes have been against black trans women and murders in general of trans people have skyrocketed in recent years. A vast majority of these hate crimes are committed by cis white men.)

•A lot of emphasis is put on cis appearances in the trans community, which isn’t always the product of just wanting to express yourself in ways that are traditionally cis. Sometimes we are put in certain situations where we unfortunately MUST look either strictly, stereotypically male/female in order to avoid harassment, and it’s completely anxiety inducing and/or degrading. Some trans people sometimes feel forced to transition to fit in, and a lot trans people are AFRAID to transition or dress without accordance to their original assigned gender because of how we are mistreated by cis people when we do so

•Touching on that, I have encountered people referred to as “transmeds” which are those trans men who think trans men must have gender dysphoria in order to be trans, or that you must want to medically transition to be trans; they commonly place stereotypical, often conservative and toxic, masculine requirements to be a trans man. Many trans men like myself speculate they are the reason why toxic masculinity still thrives like a disease among the trans community. Conservative ideals like this damage the trans community by asserting a trans person DOES look and act a certain way, which is an idea incidentally trans people strive to dismantle among cis people

•Since I’m a trans, gay man, not only can I be bullied by CISHET MEN but also CIS GAY MEN and additionally even other conservative TRANS MEN. If you’re a gay, bi, etc trans person within the LGBTQ+ community, you often face more types of discrimination than cis LGBQ+ people, especially if you are asexual on top of it all, like myself

•Trans people also often encounter terfs, cis “feminists” who believe trans women aren’t real women, and these individuals are found to confidently defend racist, N@zi, white supremacist, and other bigoted attitudes, so just..... gross people

•As a trans person, you’re sometimes made to feel as though you can’t be proud of yourself the same way you can be proud of being gay or lesbian. I’ve witnessed people praising someone for talking about being gay everyday while those SAME PEOPLE complained a trans person talking about being trans ONCE was “annoying” and just “ vying for attention”. Cis people, lgbq+ or not, are sometimes made so uncomfortable by trans people they think calling them annoying will silence them. It’s happened to me almost every single time I’ve tried to come out which is what ultimately led me to be ashamed of myself for many years

•Cis people can often be so unaccepting of our identity that they will intentionally not work on using our correct name/pronouns, withhold using the correct name/pronouns as a form of punishment, or go behind our backs and use the wrong pronouns/name because they don’t think it’s important. Cis people have the luxury of always having their name and pronouns as being a given, and those same people think we are so below them, they think they can choose when we do or do not deserve to be called what we should be called. Deadnaming/intentially misgendering a celebrity you don’t like or person you’re angry with is STILL transphobia

•Just recently, a cis manager outed me to my entire workplace as being trans. Outing someone as trans is VERY DANGEROUS. At the end of the day, you never know who that information could be passed to. Knowing that someone is trans is NEVER your decision to tell people, it’s their private information. If you out someone in a workplace environment, you can and mostly likely will lose your job. However inversely, it is still possible in some places to be fired solely for being trans. If I was in a bad part of my country, her outing me could have cost me my job. Every job I have held thus far has always ended with a cis manager not knowing how to keep their mouth shut about my gender.

Basically, trans people struggle everyday in a vast number of ways and the magnitude of their hardships often go unnoticed due to transphobes or uninformed cishet people trivialising or censoring trans voices. And these are just a FRACTION of things trans people have to deal with regularly. If you aren’t trans, you can’t claim to know what we’re going through. You can only listen to and be there for trans people, read their stories and experiences to be aware of their struggles and how you can make sure you aren’t creating an unsafe space for trans people.

~Terfs and transphobes do not interact~

#I’ll post another answering the people who were asking me what not to ask/say to a trans person #why does this sound so salty I’m sorry #I think it just reminded me of all the times I’ve been harrassed #or seen others get harrassed #lgbtq #transgender #trans #long post

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arcticdementor · 4 years

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On September 18, Ruth Bader Ginsburg died at the age of 87. At once, this country was filled with the sound of progressives weeping and gnashing their teeth.

From what I could gather, none of them knew Ginsburg personally. Most likely, none of them paid her much notice until 2016, when it dawned on the Democrats that Donald Trump might be able to replace the most pro-choice justice in American history with a pro-life conservative. That would potentially signal the death of Roe v. Wade. In 2017, when Ginsburg’s health continued to decline, lefties began offering to give up their own vital fluids to sustain her until the Democrats took back the White House. An editor at The Washington Post penned a column memorably titled, “Dear Ruth Bader Ginsburg: If you need anything—blood, organs—take mine.”

…

Seeing progressives in a manic-depressive state over Justice Ginsburg’s death, I remembered watching my middle school classmates going to pieces when Michael Jackson died in 2009. None of them listened to his music, but the phony mourning made them feel like they were part of something. How little has changed.

In his new book, Live Not By Lies, Rod Dreher warns us that the Hitlers and Stalins of our age will not wear funny mustaches and slick uniforms as they did in the 20th century. “The totalitarian temptation presents itself with a twenty-first century face,” he writes. Here, ladies and gentlemen, is that face. It’s the face of grown women screaming in anger and disbelief into the cameras of their iPhones over the death of their fallen hero. It’s the face of grown men who tweet about collapsing on the floor, sobbing, on hearing the news of Ginsburg’s death.

So long as Millennials remain dominant in American politics, this will remain the prevailing mode of discourse. My generation was abandoned by our parents and our teachers. We were never given a moral education for fear of stunting our “individuality.” We were never taught to reason. We were never taught to control our emotional or carnal impulses.

That’s why there isn’t one real “individual” in America under forty. We all became slaves to peer pressure, and to our own base appetites. That’s the great danger of this moment in American history. We are being ruled by children—children who can’t tell right from wrong, and who lack all self-control. Like all children, our new ruling class won’t hesitate to punish any deviation from their the latest infatuation with ostracism, abuse, and perhaps even violence.

The new totalitarians are overgrown children, which is why the new totalitarianism will be defined by these three characteristics: emotivism, hedonism, and conformism. It will look less like Nineteen Eighty-Four and more like Lord of the Flies.

…

Live Not By Lies is at its very best when describing our “pre-totalitarian culture.” Many right-wingers, for instance, would almost entirely dismiss the role that Big Business will play in enabling the new generation of fascists. They’re locked in a Cold War mentality, which sees communism and capitalism as antithetical. In fact, we’re developing a unique economic system—“woke capitalism”—which serves as the very engine of that coming revolution.

Virtually every major corporation has bowed to the successive demands of the pro-choice lobby, the LGBT movement, and lately Black Lives Matter. Amazon will refuse to sell books that conflict with progressive orthodoxies. Google will modify search results to promote “diversity.” Twitter bans users who “misgender” people suffering from gender dysphoria. Bank of America has vowed to no longer do business with gun manufacturers. PayPal defunds users they consider far-right.

The rise of woke capitalism, Mr. Dreher writes, is accompanied by the rise of surveillance capitalism. American consumers have actually paid corporations to place the mechanisms of the surveillance state in our homes. Take “smart speakers,” like Amazon’s Alexa and Google Home. These devices record every conversation within earshot.

For now, that data is being used to help Silicon Valley more effectively micromarket their products to consumers. Yet what if the government were to seize that information and use it to implement a Chinese-style Social Credit System? Or what if those corporations were to ban any customers from using their products? So many of my generation would be lost without Google search, Google Pay, their Gmail account, their Chromebook laptop…

…

Following the publication of The Benedict Option, Mr. Dreher was accused of being a “retreatist,” even a “defeatist.” Why? Because, as he says in In Live Not By Lies, Mr. Dreher believes that “The culture war is largely over—and we lost.” That seems to be the central thesis of his work. He made the assertion early in The Benedict Option but didn’t spend much time defending it. The first half of Live Not By Lies is devoted to proving that thesis; the second half, to surviving the coming anti-Christian, totalitarian regime.

Now, one might argue that Christians are just one election away from reclaiming total control over this country’s political, religious, economic, and cultural institutions. So far, nobody has tried—probably because they can’t. After reading Live Not By Lies, there can be no shadow of a doubt that Mr. Dreher is right. He isn’t a pessimist, but a realist.

…

All of that notwithstanding, Live Not By Lies is indispensable for any Christian hoping not only to survive the fall of the Empire but to see a new Christendom emerge from its ruins. Those who are optimistic about the future of liberal-democratic capitalism will be thoroughly disillusioned—and they’ll thank Mr. Dreher for it.

Having realized that things are, in fact, much worse than they seem, they must then read The Benedict Option with fresh eyes. They must prepare for total war against modernity. Modern Man, in all his infantile fury, is surely gearing up for total war against us Christians. Those who don’t heed Mr. Dreher’s warnings and study his writings will not survive the coming Dark Age.

#crisis magazine #michael warren davis #book review #live not by lies #rod dreher

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