#well apparently

[magicalrocketships]

Doing a little digital spring cleaning tonight and I found the beginning of a Harry/Louis fic I swear I've never seen before in my life but I absolutely wrote, so it's definitely time to share. A shameless rip-off of the plot of Jilly Cooper's The Man Who Made Husbands Jealous, which is an entire novel about a hot dude being paid by women with cheating husbands to make them jealous and stop cheating. Except in this one, Louis's masterminding the whole thing. Probably. I don't actually remember writing it.

The Man Who Made Husbands Jealous (would have been Harry/Louis in the end, if I'd ever written more than... this).

"We're broke," Louis says flatly, dropping down onto the sofa next to Harry and showing him his bank statement.

"We're not," Harry says, putting down his iPad. He's been playing online bingo again, which occasionally brings in enough money to cover going to Sainsbury's and putting stuff in the cupboards. He glances at the bank statement. "Are we?"

"Broke," Louis says, and he puts his feet in Harry's lap. "We've got ten days to have enough money in my account before the rent goes out. Any ideas?"

"None," Harry says.

Time was, they could have tapped Harry's parents for a loan, but there had been a small misunderstanding and for now, that was off the table. It was no use trying to get money out of Louis's mum; she hadn't got it and Louis wouldn't ask if she did. He was utterly devoted to her and wouldn't take a penny. "What happened to that TV work that Ben was talking about?"

"Still happening, I think. Just not right now. Not in the next ten days."

"Do you remember when we didn't care about this stuff, and we just partied and spent what we wanted?"

"You're still like that," Louis pokes him in the thigh with his toes. "Since when has an overdraft stopped you going out?" He dropped a crumpled envelope in Harry's lap. "That came for you, by the way."

"This crumpled?" Harry asks mildly.

"It may have had a small fight with the letterbox," Louis says, since the return address says R. Maddox, and Louis has always hated Ruby, right from the moment they'd met and she'd made an immediate play for Harry, right under her husband's nose.

"Invitation to a party on Saturday," Harry says, tossing it towards Louis. "Do you want to come?"

"Pretty certain it won't say my name on that invite."

"It doesn't. I'll sweet-talk you in. There's probably going to be a free bar, her husband's loaded."

"Won't say no to that," Louis says, and that's that.

~*~

The flat Louis and Harry lived in was a cramped, tiny attic space in Kentish Town, only cheap enough for them to live in because the landlady's mum lived downstairs and bullied her daughter into not putting up the rent because Harry was so charming and would spend ages with her in the kitchen, drinking tea and flirting. Louis she had no time for, but that was mostly because the first time she'd met him, he'd been so drunk he couldn't see straight, and he'd fallen over her bin and vomited in the begonias.

It was also close enough to Primrose Hill that they could lie when asked where they lived, and frankly that was helpful when it came to explaining why they were worth knowing at parties. They had, at one point, been on the cusp of hosting these parties themselves. They'd failed to win X Factor a few years ago, and been promised a record contract anyway. They'd done the cycle of parties, the five of them that had had a band together back then, but had never truly broken past the outside perimeter. The others had faded out of London after a time, leaving Harry and Louis to continue sharing a flat and jumping from job to job.

When Harry got up on Sunday, naked underneath his dressing gown, Louis was sitting at the little table in the kitchen with his laptop.

"Have you been to bed?" Harry asks, putting the kettle on.

"For a bit," Louis says. "I've found us a way to make money."

"It's too early for money," Harry says, which is his usual approach. He'd grown up having it, so he's never tempered his lifestyle to reflect the fact that right now, they don't have it.

"Never," Louis says. "So I got talking to Ruby Maddox last night."

"You hate each other."

"We were drunk. She credits you with saving her marriage, you know."

"She slept with me while her husband was in Paris. Funny way of saving her marriage."

"Made him so jealous he stopped screwing his PR girl," Louis says. "How'd you fancy doing it again?"

"Sleeping with Ruby Maddox?" Harry looks perplexed. "Could do, I suppose."

"No," Louis says. "Her friend Georgina Meadows."

"Could I sleep with Georgina Meadows?"

"Actively not sleep with Georgina Meadows," Louis says. "Her husband's left her for his PA."

"Do I know Georgina Meadows?"

"Not yet. But you will."

"I need a cup of coffee," Harry says. "And then another one."

~*~

They take Louis's beaten-up old Golf to meet Georgina Meadows that afternoon. It barely scraped through its last MOT, so come the next one, unless money comes from somewhere, they'll be car-less again.

"Who is she?" Harry asks. "Why am I meeting her?"

"She's going to pay you to flirt with her to make her husband jealous," Louis explains. "And let me do the business side of things, you'll go in easy because she's crying or something, and she's loaded and we're broke.”

“All right,” Harry says. “Let’s do it.”

#fic that i wrote #well apparently #i don't actually remember #harry/louis 1d fic #i wonder if I actually had plans for this #or if I was just taking it out for a little ride to see where it went

[willgrahamscock]

You've got the type of blog that makes me swing wildly between wanting to send asks talking to you like we're friends and send asks confessing my sins /aff

to be fair I welcome both of these types of interactions

come have a cup of coffee with me and confess to cock

#alex answers #what does aff mean #Ive been so confused with your guys lingo lately i DON'T speak english #well apparently

[aangarchy]

Alright now this pissed me off

What do you MEAN you're going to remove one of the most important aspects of Sokka's character arc in the first season? What do you MEAN you're going to remove Sokka unlearning misogyny, accepting change and embracing his role as a fighter and protector of the Avatar in order to end the war? What do you MEAN???

#they're also going to apparently show the rise of the fire nation as well as the airnomad genocide #which; again; i'm conflicted on #atla #netflix atla #avatar the last airbender #avatar #sokka #atla live action #atla netflix #netflix

[theshadowrealmitself]

I like to think that Vulcans who come to understand that Humans just can’t try to process emotions the same way as them, it’s just healthiest to let it out in harmless ways, decide that venting and stuff should be taken just as seriously as Vulcan’s meditation time, and will encourage the Humans around them to complain about what’s upsetting them

People who are used to aloof Vulcans who avoid Humans at all cost running into one comforting a Human

“-and then they said my cheesecake was subpar, and they didn’t even bring a dish!!!”

“The purpose of this event was that every participant brings a food item of sorts, correct?”

“Yeah!!”

“And they did not follow this rule while insulting dishes that were brought?”

“Mostly just my dish but yeah >:(“

“How illogical”

“That’s what I’m saying!!!”

#star trek #Vulcans #Humans #not based on a specific thing #but I used to know this annoying couple that were ‘family friends’ #who would show up to potluck dinners and the like and would either bring nothing or bring something really just. out of left field? #like a bag of frozen chicken to a bbq #and then proceed to make sure they are first even if it was stated to let kids go first #would take HUGE amounts before anyone else got a chance to get a plate #and then make off with the leftovers again even if they were already claimed for #and it wasn’t a food insecurity thing trust me I would never speak bad about a person getting food if that was even a remote chance #the adults who raised us knew them really well and we’d been to their house a ton of times #they were just dicks #and yeah. they’d occasionally insult the food. while eating the MAJORITY of it. #it was so weird at their home they would go out of their way to get the healthiest options possible #you know the really bland tasteless expensive stuff that apparently was healthier #but then if they were visiting our house they would. eat all our unhealthy snacks. #that always pissed me off so much as a kid because we actually had a food insecurity thing going on #and also a variety of other reasons that are a bit too depressing to bring up on this post #but anyways we’d hardly ever get to have nice snacks #and this couple would just take them all??? even after we’d tell them repeatedly that it was ours and those snacks weren’t gonna be #replaced #hated that couple #if you’re wondering why they were ‘family friends’ it’s because the couple who raised us #(it feels weird to type it out like that but apparently legal guardians doesn’t fit since they never finished petitioning 💀) #liked having them around because it made them look like ‘such great Christian’s’ being nice to the people #that no one else wanted to be friends with #I always thought that was a really weird and fucked up reason to be friends with someone #this got long sorry 😭

[jasminebythebay]

thank you for your help 💎

--

By popular demand, this piece is now available as a print! https://jasminebythebay.etsy.com/listing/1707594190

#sonic the hedgehog #sonic #sth #ngl i'm not really feeling this piece :( #i had a super grand vision for what this piece would look like but it kinda just ended up meh #rip oh well i guess i'll just do better on the next piece #edit: APPARENTLY I'M THE ONLY ONE WHO THINKS IT'S MID??? LMAOOOO

[isthatacalzone]

thinking about how Edwin just. doesn't actually swear throughout the entire show except for in hell when he screams "THAT IS SO FUCKING STUPID IT'S UNBELIEVABLE" at Charles for coming to hell to save him

#dead boy detectives #haven't stopped thinking about it actually!!!! #it hits SO WELL #edwin payne #charles rowland #edit: ok apparently he swears in the pilot episode but im choosing to ignore that bc pilot vs rest of show lmao

[queerdraws]

it's zoro's birthday!! happy birthday big guy, may you say many more insane things to your enemies in the coming years

#one piece #zolu #comic #a while ago I reread some of the earlier arcs in one piece and was caught off guard by zoro's dialogue in the daz bonez fight #finally got around to making a comic abt it #boys fluctuating wildly between chatting shit n making jabs at eachother n having a sweet heartfelt moment #they have the range #the weird shape next to zoro's face in the second panel used to be a question mark #umm but it didn't get erased fully apparently #and im too lazy to do anything about that now that i've noticed it so enjoy! #oh also when luffy says baaastard hes imitating zoro saying temeeeee #does quite have the same feel...“baaaa” like a sheeps bleat vs the kinda drawl-y rumble of “meeee”...oh well

[wasyago]

on a lunch break

#hermitcraft #goodtimeswithscar #my art #sketch #wanted to make the chair resemble one of them safari cars but i think because i went with the funky colors it doesn't read well... #it's still a bit more bulky and rough looking so it's fine #also. if i had a nickel for every time i drew a character eating cup noodles....... it's like. a comfort thing apparently #altho to be fair i was thinking of scar eating something more of a mashed potatoes than noodles 🤔 #i associate cupped potatoes with train travel so that's why #btw really like how this one turned out. the pose the colors im quite proud of it

[cookinguptales]

Now that the post is over 10k and my notes are straight-up unusable...

One thing I wish I'd spelled out more explicitly in the original post because I see this point getting lost on a lot of rebloggers who don't understand why the healthcare thing was such a big deal is like

The subtext I thought would be understood bc I lived back then but apparently has been lost today is that making sure queer employees and their partners had healthcare in the early 90s meant Disney was paying for a lot of AIDS treatment.

This is one reason fundie Christians were so upset and queer employees were so grateful. It's one reason why it was such a controversial decision. It was a major talking point amongst my family, who believed back then that AIDS was a punishment from God.

(Some still do, I think. We don't talk.)

I keep seeing people saying that Disney only chose that option "because of their bottom line" and it's like??? Were you listening??? Disney has been paying for that decision for literally decades, but they've stood by it.

Like... the 90s weren't like now! It wasn't profitable to cater to the queer population of the country back then. They weren't raking in money with this.

It's in no way a perfect company but I fully believe in criticizing people for the specific things they do wrong and praising them for the specific things they do right. Disney has fucked copyright, monopoly, and labor laws and I'm not about to defend that. But they are well known in FL for being friendly to both queer people and disabled people, and that is unambiguously a good thing.

(Like side note, I could talk about Disney and accessibility for days. I have traveled extensively while disabled and no one does it like Disney.)

I've had people reblogging the post like "I straight-up don't believe Disney is an industry leader in equal protections for queer employees" and it's like ??? do you think I just pulled this out of my ass? If you want more information, go look it up! You'll see that this is well-established history. It's not my fault y'all don't read! :|

#I know I know #having a post go viral on tumblr is always a blessing and a curse #I'm happy that the word is getting out to so many people #I genuinely thought this history was more well-known than apparently it is #especially with younger users #but when your post starts doing numbers you have to start dealing with people who always wanna deal with ideas in bad faith #cw: #disney #homophobia #aids

[anastacialy]

guys, i think the hermits are going to accidentally start a prank war again. because just like last time, a game of telephone has begun. first, false made iskall's build into ''false beans,'' her shop from the previous season. however, to give herself plausible deniability, she signs it with "love, Joel. x" due to his username, smallishbeans.

next, iskall sees this, and completely believes it. he thinks it was joel who pranked him, and as he says to pearl while showing off the sign, which he kept even after tearing the prank down, "joel gave me a kiss." in his most recent video, he pranks joel by sending him loads of anonymous messages in order to completely spam and fill his inbox, preventing him from getting any more mail, with notes such as "thinking about you. x"

of course, joel is going to have absolutely no context for this, because he didn't make the initial prank. so who is joel going to assume sent him all those messages while he was away on holiday? well, i have a guess.

etho.

#hermitcraft #joel smallishbeans #iskall85 #ethoslab #falsesymmetry #was gonna include in the post but it made it way too long that the other option is he misreads the ''x'' as xisuma signing his name #and thinks. well god now xisuma is obsessed with me too? #like wrong person buddy iskall is apparently the obsessed one now #genuinely the funniest thing is that joel is away on holiday so he will have no idea these messages all came at once. #he might think someone just like really missed him over the course of several days dskjhf #and also this is ignoring the fact that any REAL MAIL people send him will despawn and be lost forever which will possibly #result in more chaos like whyd you never reply to my mail joel :c #this is not even scratching the surface of the possible prank war also this is one tiny branch of everything. not even getting into #the hermit statues and who's been building them etc etc #sorry this situation is just so. it's sooo.

[allthegothihopgirls]

one of the rumours the batkids looooove to spread when they join bruce going interstate or abroad for business, is that he's the biological father of all the kids.

this means bruce, talking to potential investors, or eating out with business partners, is frequently subject to the "your kids... there's a lot of them.... all yours.... how????"

sometimes the kids like to add depth to the lie, mentioning they all have different mothers, or that bruce engineered them all as lab babies.

the worst part is how many people blindly believe it. playboy billionare bruce wayne? sure he's swung a few women in his life, maybe he's just not overly careful??? or, with all that money, and no desire to wed, it makes sense that he'd seek alternative routes to have children.

#bruce confronts tim about it because he KNOWS he will fold #and tim just goes #“...well. dick did say there probably wasn't any harm to the lie. because apparently it just adds to. and i quote: the billionare charm” #batfam #batfamily #bruce wayne #batman #dick grayson #tim drake #jason todd #damian wayne #red robin #robin #red hood #nightwing #dc batman #dcu #dc comics #dc #gothihop speaks

[seriesfive]

also i need more deets on the fact that when crowley and aziraphale try to collaborate on even the teeniest tinest miracle together they perform a miracle of intense magnitude that ‘only the mightiest of archangels could’ve performed’ like hi hello??

#like i thought at first that gabriel had contributed but that’s never confirmed and then in ep six crowley says ‘apparently when we perform #miracle together it all goes a bit too well’ #i would like to see more of it please #good omens #j

[bumofthewild]

i like to associate kabru with mushrooms...

#to me they are symbolic of his suffering #dungeon meshi #kabru #mithrun #kabumisu #is the ship name apparently can't say i'm a fan of the name but oh well lol tags be upon ye #art

[twinkubus]

Bound Man by John Singer Sargent, c. 1917-21

#john singer sargent #i think his sketches are soooo much more interesting and alive-seeming than his portraiture #just found out his male nude sketches were “hidden” until a gallery show in the 1980s and then everyone was like hmm maybe this dude was ga #tho apparently that was well known by his friends at the time lol #i saw this sketch irl at the art institute several years ago but its not on display now #its funny bc iirc it was like. a kind of underwhelming exhibit of portraiture and then these REALLY COOL sketches at the end #s

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Lan Wangji Goes To Lotus Pier AU: Part 1: Dread on Arrival

(Part 2)

#poorly drawn mdzs #mdzs #lan wangji #jiang fengmian #jiang cheng #wei wuxian #Yungmeng Jiang Training Arc AU #MDZS AU #The AU name for this idea is something I am 100% willing to change if someone has a better one. #There will be at least 2-3 more comics so *please*. Ideas and feedback welcome. #The core idea behind this AU is that LWJ goes to study with the Yunmeng Jiang sect instead of JC and WWX going to Cloud Recess #But why? Well I imagine Lan Xichen set it up to give LWJ a challenge (more social than skill based) and LWJ rose to it (begrudgingly) #Sort of a 'You've mastered so many Lan techniques but Other Sects have styles that are worth learning.' set up. #Lan Qiren agrees mostly on the basis that...well it's LWJ. Yunmeng Jiang is unruly but LWJ is beyond that riff-raff. He'll rise above it. #This is the story of a boy who thrives on routine and rules spending time in a place that is his apparent antithesis. #Also it is so warm there. He is used to it being cold and what do you MEAN just take off some of my layers? #I just want to see him struggle and flail in many situations. And get him in Jiang Purple. Is that so wrong of me? #(Soaking wet JC is part of my 'JC was born to swim; forced to hold a sword' agenda. Do not remove him from the water) #((Politeness notes: JFM would *not* call LWJ 'lan wangji' nor would LWJ be vocally impolite to a sect leader.))

[ew-selfish-art]

Dpx Dc AU: Ectoplasm is required for Ghosts to be visible to the human eye- And Danny creates his own ectoplasm.

Danny is visiting Jazz in Gotham and its weird how friendly everyone is. Like, the city gets a really bad rapport, everywhere he goes there is someone trying to strike up a conversation or answer his questions about getting around to the tourist spots. A few people even pointed out restaurants and ways to find off the beaten path gems! Jazz seems to role her eyes at him, but when he brings up her 'roommate' being kind of cute she flat out laughs.

Danny then comes to understand the Jazz doesn't have a roommate and that Ghosts in Gotham don't move far from their haunts- He's just been inadvertently turning these undead folks visible by accident of generating abnormal amounts of ectoplasm.

Which, is comforting in a way, he's never walking this dangerous city alone and really, most of the ghosts have been really friendly! They disappear once he's a few blocks away from them anyway.

---

Tim Drake is having a horrible day.

He'd been given intel that one of Black Mask's guys was going to snitch but that he'd died before given the opportunity to reach out to the GCPD. He tracks down the guy's last know whereabouts and yikes. Its next to the Theater. Tim was often grateful for his childhood obsessions, this time it backfired.

Tim and Bruce get into an argument about trust and respect and, worst of all, mental health. And even though Tim was vehemently against Batman accompanying Red Robin to the alleyway - that's exactly what happens.

They arrive and Bruce is closing up faster than a clam in the contaminated Gotham Bay- Clearly being in the Alley bothers him. No fucking shit. RR gets started on collecting evidence, there are a few extra blood splatters and a single left shoe... When a kid walks into the Alley.

"Uh, sorry to intrude-" The kid looks scared shitless, and runs away. And then, all of a sudden, Batman and Robin aren't alone in the Alley.

Tim can hardly believe his eyes as the dead man appears and quickly blabs Black Mask's bank passwords and what the plan had been- and While he's over joyed to have that closure, he turns around to Batman weeping in the arms of his parents.

The ghosts fade, and the emotions are certainly charged as this was never something Bruce or Tim would have ever dreamed of happening. Ghosts in Gotham. Talking, floating, granting closure.

"RR, Bats, come in." Oracle calls into their ears.

"Reporting in, but, uh, we need a minute."

"A minute? We have a case on 4th and-"

"O, we just saw the ghosts of the Waynes. It's going to be a minute."

"...Lots of Ghost reports lately then. Any chance you saw a kid looking like he could be adopted?"

"Yeah, actually, black hair and blue eyes. He was super polite before he ran away."

"We have work to do. Oracle, lets prioritize finding our person of interest and divert Nightwing and Robin to the case on 4th." Batman cut between them on the comms and he sounded... calmer than either of them anticipated.

---

Jazz is no longer laughing when Batman appears at her door explaining that he's looking for Danny (Who already flew away from town to get a good night's sleep before class on Monday). Turns out Danny reunited the man with his dead parents just briefly- and then the second guy appears and mentions how Danny had also given a guy who'd been murdered by a Mob enough time to explain the ongoing threats the city faced.

Jazz just rolls her eyes and says that it's not like the ghosts are going anywhere anytime soon and Danny will visit in another month. When pressed, she just explains that her brother is a weirdo. No of course he doesn't have powers. Gaslight and Girlbosses her way out.

And Jazz thinks that the game is up for at least another month, obviously when Danny visits more shit will stir up, but then this new guy appears.

Unlike the other Bats who are keen on watching her from a distance, the Red Hood knocks on her door. Are her eyebrows all the way into her hairline when Red Hood asks her to send his thanks along to Danny because somehow this whole situation led to his Dad expressing remorse for his actions and apologizing? Yes, yes they are.

But Jazz can smell Dissertation Data off of these vigilantes- Who is she to send them away? Jazz welcomes Red Hood into her place for a cup of tea and a small chat.

The story then devolves into Jazz getting shit done, Danny being cute by proximity and also bringing ghosts to the party, and the Bats having trauma resolve between them.

#dcxdp #dpxdc #dc x dp #dp x dc #danny phantom #dc crossover #dp crossover #long post #danny can make ghosts appear like they do in amity but only for a short while and when in proximity to him #its not apparent in amity because the ghosts are just like that there #Danny just having a good time #Danny having zero brain cells about this whole thing and neither he nor jazz will offer explanations #they're just like 'gotham has ghosts. its not like he put them there' #Bruce getting into therapy because his dead parents said they were proud of him and he didnt know how to handle that #bruce having to turn this energy around somehow and seeing jason - my boy i love you so much and im so sorry and im so proud of you #heres the thing i dont know how i made it anger management ship at the end but i sure as fuck did. #jason is at a lack of words at bruce's confessions of pride and love but is also about to be a BAT about this and track down info #info in the form of a cute girl #oh yeah she has a brother #uh well #he has brothers too- this is fine #someone write this fic pls n thx u