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#we have to make do with what we have and strive for a better world
autumnslance · 2 days
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Ancient Transformation
I know how we all love to meme on how it's stated transformation is seen in the Ancient society, but I also tend to think it's one of those cases where the actual meaning of the passage has been, well, meme'd a little too far.
(Like how the devs have had to go out of their way to point out Estinien does bathe, guys, it was aetheric alteration to his armor, and he does regularly wear armor which might lead to funk and helmet hair but he likes to be clean when it's off.)
Let's look at the actual passage in the Elpis quest "Their Greatest Contribution" where they're trying to help the charybdis fly (bolding by me):
Hermes: I shall transform and fly with it, helping it to manipulate wind until it finds its wings. Troubled Observer: What!? Y-You needn't go to such lengths… (Emet-Selch notices the WoL's confusion) Emet-Selch: You don't know? But of course not… Emet-Selch: Transformation is an art in which one manipulates a vast quantity of aether to construct another body around oneself. Emet-Selch: In practice, this allows one to assume any conceivable form, and thereby transcend the limits of one's flesh. Emet-Selch: Yet convenient though it may be, transforming in the presence of others is considered vainglorious in the extreme. As uncouth and unseemly as running about robeless. Shameful. Emet-Selch: Am I to understand you make a habit of this? Hermes: N-Nothing of the sort. It's just that, when transformed, I can wield the wind and fly. Hermes: It may seem excessive, but what is our shame next to the lives of these creatures? Hermes: They deserve a chance, and we owe it to them to do all in our power! Emet-Selch: Be that as it may…
What everyone tends to focus on, of course, is his analogy of "running about robeless" and equating that it's the same as nudity. Which makes for funny memeing.
But look again at the actual description of how transforming is seen:
Yet convenient though it may be, transforming in the presence of others is considered vainglorious in the extreme.
"Vainglorious" is the adjective of "Vainglory" which Merriam-Webster defines as "excessive or ostentatious pride especially in one's achievements; vain display or show; vanity."
the "uncouth and unseemly" part isn't so much the nudity part, but the showing off. Visibly boasting about one's power and strength by displaying one's transformed state.
So why the nudity analogy? Well, for one, is it actually discussing nudity, or walking around in outfits/ways that don't conform to societal standards? Ancient society seemed to be striving for an egalitarian system, which their magics made easy enough, though there's still stratification of some kind (based on peoples' roles). But the robes and masks are an attempt to produce a visual equality among members with variable magical skill (and that would otherwise be seen via those transformations if they indulged in them). It's about the conformity (for better or worse) to community.
The other reason I can think for that analogy is how common Ancient Greek inspired words and names in Amaurot's world are. And what many people also equate to Ancient Greece, aside from the tales of the Olympians, is the myriad artwork, often in various forms of athletic bodies in competition, whether war or sports. While there's plenty of fully clothed/armored imagery, classic nudes are common imagery in popular culture and not even in a sexual way; they're showing off their prowess as athletes and warriors.
(The third possible reason is Emet-Selch has ever been a Dramatic Bitch Like That and tends to the theatrical in his wording, even at his most traditional and conservative.)
Emet-Selch's concern about Hermes transforming is because it's considered bad manners to just transform on a whim--because it would indicate he's a boastful show off, or reliant on his transformed state, or otherwise cavalier about societal norms--which however one reads the line about transformations, would, from Emet-Selch's view, be a bad look for a potential member of the Convocation!
And the poor charybdis observer is all too aware that a member of the Convocation is standing right there, boss! Even if this is something Hermes does at times in extreme cases to aid their creations in his role as chief, this is not the best time to break out the transformation, even for the sake of a troubled creature.
And of course we do eventually see Hermes in his transformed state, and just how capable he is at manipulating wind magics in it.
In the end, the question of transforming for something as simple as the charybdis's struggles strikes me as yet another indicator, despite his mentor's nomination, that Hermes was not Convocation material despite his role as Elpis's chief; his shaken state post-Ktisis would be seen as a reaction to the "accident", and he likely knew how to mask (in the social emotional sense) and give the right answers despite his own depression and doubts. And with none but Venat remembering what else happened in those days at the facility, he managed to obtain the role anyway, now that he believed his Meteion project to have failed.
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fruity-fruition · 2 days
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Assigning Disney songs and small analysis on why to Wondershow pairings!!
(boycott Disney literally please never stop. Pirate EVERYTHING they have FUCK Disney they're literally the worst EVILL evil corporation it's not even funny. but their stories and songs are iconic unfortunately)
Ruikasa: I See The Light (Tangled)
It's a song about discovering what it means to dream, and realizing how much your world has changed so drastically after the right person enters your life.
"All these years, chasing down a daydream. All those days, living in a blur. All that time, never truly seeing things the way they were"
TELL ME. TELL ME THAT ISN'T TSUKASA PRE-WXS. Him NOT knowing what he's doing, striving for a blurry dream he's stumbling to achieve. BEFORE MEETING WXS, in this specific case, Rui.
"All at once, everything looks different, now that I see you"
How Rui's entire view of friendship and life in general changed the moment Tsukasa officially invites and begs him back into the group. Hear me OUT.
Nenekasa: A Whole New World (Aladdin)
A song of one person showing and exposing the other to a new and exciting world, one filled with wonder.
Tsukasa pulled Nene out of her shell, and basically challenged her. While all her friends are her stepping stone, it's Tsukasa that pushed her into the world of stardom. A world she so desperately wants to achieve.
He's a competition to her, a friend, and also a motivation to keep getting better. She overcomes a lot of her fears with her rivalry of sorts with him, wanting to be an equal and improve just as much. She's brought to the spotlight, indirectly because of him. A whole new world she's just introduced to.
"A dazzling place I never knew. But when I'm way up here, it's crystal clear, that now I'm in a whole new world with you"
THE TWO STARS OF WONDERSHOW. IN THE SKIES TOGETHER.
Emurui: Love is an open door (Frozen)
Ok, I know this is TECHNICALLY a manipulative and villain song, BUT NOT TO ME IN THIS CONTEXT. Just two, absolutely silly doofuses goofing around and being equally stupid.
I don't have much logical explanation for this except for silly and also it matches their vibes SOO WELL. With Emu thinking nearly as insanely as Rui, and both of them being whimsical in nature. It makes the
"I mean it's crazy"
"What?"
"We finish each other's s-"
"sandwiches!!"
"That's what I was gonna say!"
More so their brainwave being THAT goofy and in line with each other rather than a manipulative tactic the song was trying to do.
"I never met someone who thinks so much like me!"
YEAHHHHHH
I don't have the energy to keep analysing right now but I'll drop the other two and explain later if I don't forget and die.
Ruinene: Something There (Beauty and the Beast)
Emukasa: I DONT KNOW I DESPERATELY TRIED IF ANYONE HAS ANY IDEAS SHARE I LOVE EMUKASA BUT I WAS DYING.
Emunene: I won't say I'm in Love (Hercules) ORR THE LESBIAN ANTHEM Kiss The Girl (The Little Mermaid)
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tolbachik · 6 months
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sorry for being so angry tonight. a better world is possible, we have the engineers, the knowledge, and the power to do it. but our world is driven by a greed and hatred unlike any other, one that sucks the soul out of us all.
we can live lives filled with peace, love, and relative comfort but it's been decided for us that we can't. we can uncover the secrets of our world and universe, but we only chose to do so when it's profitable.
there are so many amazing, wonderful, beautiful people on this world. so many vibrant cultures, so much love, so many hopes and dreams. but the west takes it all. capitalism takes more than the world can provide, pushes people into poverty and slavery, all so only a few can play with us all as mere toys and have dick waving competitions.
we're turned against each other, we're told others are savage and inhuman, that they're just a number, just a percentage point. they play god, and as one that is filled with nothing but vengeance and rage. one that only seeks to punish and hoard all that there is, until there isn't anything else anymore. we could've made such a beautiful world for ourselves by this point if a few key things had gone through, but greed and hatred was won time and time again.
my only hope is that we can finally start to push this horrid system into the fire, and we can truly start to set things right. for all its failings, i think the internet has really started to bring us together. i just want people to live and be happy. i want everyone to be able to follow their dreams and feel love. i really hope we can reach that point someday.
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stone-stars · 10 months
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Full thread from Sam on the SAG strike and Dropout!
[ID: A thread from Sam on twitter, as follows: "A thread about the strike and Dropout production: 👇✊. I stand in complete and utter solidarity with our striking performers. I myself am SAG-AFTRA, as are others on our executive team, having come from the world of working actors. I am nothing but sympathetic to their cause and outraged by the mafia-like behavior of the major streamers and AMPTP. It is harder than ever to make a living in this industry, and that goes even for the lucky few of us who get to work on meaningful projects.
In the meanwhile… 🤑 Uber-rich CEOs and shareholders are cashing in like never before 💸 Major streamers are gambling millions on dubious projects and business models 🍾 Hollywood is hiding profits and playing the victim while drinking champagne aboard their superyachts
Dropout production is right now on hold. Because we aren't associated with the AMPTP, it's possible we may be able to reach an interim agreement with SAG that allows us to continue to produce content during the strike.
But we'll only do that, obviously, if we get the blessing of the union and the buy-in of our performers. If not, we have enough content in the can to last us a little past the end of the year.
I pride myself in that Dropout has always paid above SAG minimums. As the years go on and the company is healthier, we will strive to do even better, and then even better still. Without the talent of our performers, we are zilch. Zero. Nothing."
Attached is an instagram post from an actor reading: "The Netflix show in question is shorter than a traditional half hour. But @ collegehumor and @ dropouttv paid me MORE than that for one of their scripted series. Dropout was a brand new online platform at the time and they still managed to pay their actors more than NETFLIX for scripted short form content."
Thread continues: "Public companies don't do this for the very simple reason that they feel more indebted to their executives and shareholders than they do their workforce. It's why corporations are so often exploitative. Our industry, because our jobs are so desirable, is especially vulnerable to exploitation. Hollywood takes advantage of that by making us feel generally commoditized, cheap, and replaceable …which is ironic given just how personal our work so often is. That's why unions - and the power of collective bargaining - is so important: because public companies often won't pay their workforce any more than they're forced to.
As for me, I intend to honor my union's position that I not promote SAG productions as a performer -- even if they are produced by me. That means that I won't personally be promoting any of our shows for the time being.
Attached is a screenshot of Sam on Discord responding to the question "given the strike… what picket line chant will you be rockin'?" with "i'm a talent / CEO! me says me has got to go!"
Thread continues: "This year, instead of running a FYC campaign for Game Changer, we donated $10k to the Entertainment Community Fund in solidarity with the WGA. Today, in solidarity with SAG-AFTRA, I'm personally matching that donation with another $10,000. If you have any disposable income, I encourage you to donate as well: https://entertainmentcommunity.org. And as soon as I test negative for COVID, I'll see you on the picket line. ✊"]
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a lot of people have already pointed out how totk has a lot of themes of imperialism and generally leans conservative ideologically, but what i think is interesting is how totk subtly redefines what a “researcher” is.
zelda wants to be a researcher in botw, and what this means in the context of botw is largely someone who works with sheikah technology. she wants to figure out ancient sheikah tech, she has an interest in botany and otherwise nature and biology (the whole silent princess and the frog thing), robbie and purah, the two characters who are the closest to us seeing what a researcher in the context of botw is are basically inventors. in totk, however, the main researchers who are presented to us are all historians.
this is an interesting pivot, because in botw zelda is not really interested in history. if anything, the one who’s deeply concerned with history is rhoam, wanting to preserve historical tradition and his uncritical reliance on said tradition and historical precedent is what leads them to their doom. in botw, zelda is narratively opposed to history, if anything, all the ancient tech backfires on them and traditions fail to awaken zelda’s power. zelda’s urge to be a researcher is in wanting to understand the world around her, not just blindly follow ancient plans but rather have agency within them.
totk, however, is obsessed with ancient plans. the only real moment where zelda gets to geek out in totk is her getting all giddy about finding out more about the divine origins of hyrule. all the researchers in the game are concerned with finding out more about the zonai. since all the mentions of ancient sheikah technology are scrubbed from the game purah and robbie read more as strange outliers, the sheikah slate is no longer, now it’s the purah pad, a product of purah rather than something larger. the whole game is literally about following an ancient plan, a plan most characters don’t fully understand as they sign up for it. totk’s main story is built on confusion, on the characters not knowing what’s fully going on but having faith in ancient sages telling them what to do. in botw, following ancient plans you don’t fully understand was the thing that doomed you. in totk, following ancient plans you don’t fully understand is the gimmick.
that juxtaposition between the two games has an ideological through line: botw posits that progress is necessary. mindlessly relying on tradition doesn’t work. prophecies are omens, not instructions. history must be learnt from, not repeated. the ancient sheikah aren’t a group to be emulated, but rather to be learnt from, considering their machinery backfired and the royal family betrayed them. totk, however, is obsessed with the mythical history of hyrule, a time where everything was idyllic until one bad man showed up, a time we must emulate in order to win. i already talked about how the past in totk is zelda’s life pre calamity but better here, but that also plays into the idolisation of that era and its royalty. in botw, even the myth of the first calamity preserves the fact that the yiga clan has origins in the royal’s family persecution of the sheikah, even the time when they successfully held back the calamity is tinged with mistakes that still affect the world ten thousand years later. in totk, ganondorf’s origins are nebulous. nobody provoked him, nobody did anything wrong, he’s just evil because he is.
a lot of right wing ideologies are hinged on preservation, but more than that: the belief in the nebulous mythical past in which everything was better. “make america great again”, the fascist’s idolisation of ancient rome which is represented largely inaccurately, look at any conservative rhetoric and you’ll see people complaining about how things nowadays are ruined or are being ruined, how in the past things were this way and they’re not anymore, which is bad. the belief in the fact that in some past period we were great and are not anymore, and the strive to emulate that past is a trait highly typical of right wing ideologies. and in totk the past as a great era is an idea presented completely uncritically, the narrative is entirely controlled by the game and doesn’t dwell on any of the inconsistencies in this idea.
now, obviously, not every story in which a great ancient era exists is fascist, right wing or conservative. but to me what’s interesting specifically in totk is this shift between the two games: botw is critical of the past. it’s critical of arrogantly repeating history, it’s critical of having blind faith in great relics of the past. totk isn’t. totk idolizes the past, totk tells legends and tells you to believe them without any doubts. botw believes researchers are those who seek to understand the world, innovate it and solve problems without relying on ancient ways. totk believes researchers are those who discover ancient instructions, ancient ways and relay them to great men in the present to be followed. the four mainline regional quests in botw are about discovering four ancient relics that are terrorising the land and fixing the mistakes of the past. the four mainline regional quests in totk are about discovering four ancient legends are true, and receiving instructions from an ancient sage on what to do.
totk is not simply neutral, it is ideologically conservative in stark contrast to botw, because of the things it chooses to leave uncriticised, notably the things botw was very poignant about examining critically. the way totk redefines what is a researcher is indicative of this, indicative of the way it chooses to idolize or present as an unexamined good that which was nuanced in botw. totk isn’t just conservative in the sense that it presents uncritically a “good king” and “evil conquerer”, it goes deeper, it’s notable because botw was starkly opposed to the thematic axioms totk presents.
i just think it’s very interesting that they made a sequel to botw, and completely redefined or otherwise ignored botw’s thematic core.
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celestialtarot11 · 29 days
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Astrology Observations 🧎‍♂️‼️
Hi friends! Today we’re just doing a general post for the astrological signs 🤭✨ Please enjoy and share! Your feedback is always appreciated.
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Earth sign energy is heavy and dark, not negative, but they are very connected to their roots, ancestors and past lives. They carry lots of baggage from the past to heal in this lifetime, and thus may feel they lived through many timelines and cycles. They can feel similarly to Scorpio that experienced tons of transformations.
Libra moons can be indecisive in relationships, not because they have a bad sign placement but because they care a lot about people’s feelings. Sometimes too much to their detriment. They’d rather keep the peace than to rock the boat, but that’s what causes tension. Libra moons just need more confidence and security in their choices, and focus on themselves 🧘
Cancer Venus from a young age experienced misunderstandings from the people around them. Cancer venus wants a close community and people who understand their emotions, but in an emotionally unavailable society they can feel neglected and lonely. Its why cancer venus develops walls to protect their heart. They still care, but it takes them a long time to open up.
Virgos remember little details of everyone and hope they can do the same for them. They essentially give what they need and Virgos need attention and someone who creates quality time.
Gemini venus crave communication and mental stimulation in their connections. They love to learn and interact with people. Gemini Venus can also experience lots of isolation or periods of alone time because they aren’t finding the right people to connect to. They’d rather be alone than to have surface level interaction and filler conversations.
Leo + Aquarius pairing in a chart can indicate the native is truly unique and unforgettable. They strive so much to be themselves that it inspires others to do so. Some may even idolize the native, and others can get jealous because the native has qualities they wish they had. The native basically inspires others to get a personality 💅🏻
Mercury 8h can be so funny. We can get picky about what personal info to leave in the outside world. Even the idea of leaving behind our birthday info can irk us 😭 why? I think being in the spotlight or being perceived can be difficult for us.
Adding onto that, mercury 8h can channel spirits, occult knowledge, spirit guides, etc. when they tap in, they TAP in. They did not come to play 😍 All they need is a good meditation sesh and they’re good to go 🧘 all powered up.
Jupiter 8h can go through so many endings and terrible situations and still somehow come out stronger and better. They take their healing and growth seriously, and I think Jupiter 8h people have big hearts, so they always reconnect with that energy which is what carries them 😤
Cancer + Leo in a chart makes someone mystical, ethereal, private, yet somehow well known. There will always be an aspect to these natives to hide to protect themselves, and yet their Leo side will try to guide them out their comfort zone.
Aries rising females always knew who they were since birth 🤭 they could’ve photographed a lot, dressed up a lot, and it’s iconic. Since birth they knew! Aries rising females can be human rights activists too, because they have strong opinions, perspectives and believe in empowerment. Aries rising females may also be into modeling, because since a young age they were surrounded by cameras and people who thought they were beautiful ❤️
Aquarius rising children always look upset in their pictures or they have that thousand mild yard stare 😭 help #me
Sagittarius rising children always had that mischievous look on their face in every picture, or they looked incredibly angry. They had no issue letting their true selves out 😤
Pisces women tend to move far from their home town or childhood home. Lots of them have dreams of living far away from their roots. I think its to discover who they are and rebuild themselves after going through a lot. They physically need to disconnect from toxic environments to heal.
Gemini sun women are like teachers in many ways. Especially when they’ve healed a lot. They can be a teacher to the siblings around them or people. Many turn out to be motivational speakers because they have so much wisdom to share.
Thank ya’ll so much for reading 💗☮️ feel free to like comment and reblog to support the blog 🧘✨ Have a great one!
Paid Readings ✨
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thedarkdisgrace · 1 month
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Ok, follow up post to the original cause I wanted to actually offer my analysis/interpretation on this.
I feel like this is a right/left brain analogy 🧵
Dazai covering his right side, the side supposedly responsible for the emotional & artistic things. It says alot about his mindset, accurate for that time.
It’s intriguing, then, Kouyou covers the “logical” side
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I feel like this lends to why Chuuya & Kouyou do get along well. While both Chuuya & Kouyou are no doubt very intelligent (Asagiri literally refers to Chuuya as a genius) they both still lean very much into their emotional side as well. Even if Kouyou seemingly does so less.
Kouyou reveals herself, however, not only in her care for Chuuya but we mainly see it how she handled the situation with Kyoka.
She could have insisted Kyoka come back without ever changing her mind but when Dazai presents her with a way to save Kyoka from dark, she agrees quickly.
Kouyou clearly cares & wanted to help & protect Kyoka even if she went about it poorly. She was trying to help based on her past experiences, lest we forget that she tried to leave the mafia herself once, for *love* no less. She also tends to get emotional when talking about her past or her wish to help Kyoka.
But once she was presented with another solution, a far better one, she didn’t do “what’s best for the mafia”. Kouyou agreed to what was best for Kyoka & that was definitely a more emotional choice.
This is an area where Chuuya & Kouyou align. So, of course they would get along.
Chuuya always seems to find the balance between his logic and emotion. However, he can easily & often does lean more into his emotional side first, then his logical side.
It’s similar for Kouyou, even if we don’t see it as much from her.
Back to Dazai then, when he left the mafia & the cover on Dazai’s “emotional side” was gone Dazai seemed to also move more towards that balancing of the two sides.
He started off heavily relying on his logical brain & struggled emotionally. Often feeling numb or apathetic mostly, hence his suicidal ideation.
Then he meets Chuuya & this shifts. Chuuya forces him to experience new feelings. As Chuuya is a living breathing example of most things Dazai felt the world lacked. It opened Dazai to the idea that there is more to the world, there is more to *people*. Chuuya intrigues Dazai enough to make him want to live a little longer again. Chuuya gave him a reason to keep going, a promise of more.
From the moment he met Chuuya, it was a process of letting more & more emotions seep into his mind & his heart. We see how he feared for Chuuya in 15 even after they just met, even though Dazai *knew* it was a plan.
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I might even venture to go as far as to say Dazai may not have feared for someone else’s life that hard before. It was a burst of unrecognizable emotions to him. After this, he only had more & more emotion seep in as the years went by. In Storm Bringer he was ready to sacrifice the city to give Chuuya a choice.
That relationship opened Dazai up to others later, namely Oda & Ango. Which only further encouraged the intermingling of his logical brain and his emotions. Then reaching the point at which the bandages were finally removed entirely and then he, like Chuuya, moved to striving to find the balance rather than relying on one side.
Bringing us back to current Dazai as he is still attempting to find that balance.
He still leans more towards his logical side. This, of course, in contrast to Chuuya who, while intelligent, more easily leans into the emotional.
Yet another thing between them that completes & balances each other. Soukoku will always pull the other back when drifting too far.
So, of course, Soukoku complement each other & it benefits them both.
Having Kouyou on Chuuya’s other side I think also does help Chuuya stay grounded while in the mafia. Chuuya isn’t one to lose who he is but I think having someone else who he knows *cares* like he does helps.
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Now, additionally, if we apply this to Beast, I think this also says alot about beast Dazai & why Asagiri says beastzai would be the hardest for someone to portray.
Because *this* Dazai, is perhaps *too* far into his emotional side. He’s always intelligent but in beast, his actions aren’t fully logical, they’re emotional.
He appears cold & calculating as always but he saw another version of himself suffer the great loss of a best friend & allowed his emotional desire to prevent that from happening take control. Thus, his emotional side takes over, thus him covering the opposite side from canon Dazai, he’s covering his “logical” side.
I feel like this is the main difference between all the various Dazai we’ve seen.
PM Dazai relied heavily on his logical side, especially before meeting Chuuya. He rarely took emotion into account unless it involved the 3 people he actually cared for. We see him make emotional choices when it involves Chuuya, Oda, and Ango. Dazai did seem to let more and more emotion seep in over time as a result of knowing them, however, leading to that moment the bandages are removed.
Beastzai is leaning far too heavily into his emotional side, getting lost in it even. Acting solely on an emotional desire rather than a logical one. His desire to prevent a tragedy. He only was using his intellect to further that emotional desire.
Canonzai went through a steady progression, meeting Chuuya starts to open him up, this extending over time to Oda & Ango, leading to the cover on his “emotional” side being taken off.
But beastzai skipped all of that, all the *progression* to that point for canonzai & so beastzai just got all these intense emotions he never experienced before all at once when he saw canonzai’s memories & therefore he sunk far too deep, too quickly into his emotions.
Now current/ADA Dazai is the balance of the two extremes, and seemingly the closest to happiness.
ADA Dazai uses his logical brain as always but he also actually takes emotion into account as well and has more people he actually cares for now.
I think that says alot to the theme of bsd, leaning into that “everything is grey” dynamic. Everything is about the *balance* of things. Showcasing that anything in extremes in either direction doesn’t work.
Anyway, just some thoughts I had and interpretations of mine. Take them as you want, as always.
Oh and just to be clear, I don’t think Dazai was ever “emotionless”, even at his worse. Even if he was numb and apathetic. He was also lonely.
Just saying the more people he came to care about (Chuuya, Oda, Ango then later the ADA) the more he was able to feel a variety of emotion.
My original post:
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stuckinapril · 1 year
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how to feel like a person?
digital detox. if your phone was taken away, how much free time would you have? how empty would your day be? do you have things to do outside of scrolling endlessly on different apps? if you come to the realization that a lot of your time consists of being glued to your screen, you need to start considering incorporating no-phone time blocks into your day. a big part of our daily misery boils down to consuming so many things in 24 hours, to the point that we feel too burned out to do anything else that truly nourishes our body and soul.
establish a routine. discipline is so important for happiness. start out small—schedule your day, get consistent with your skincare routine, take daily walks—and then gradually add more and more things. don’t try to revamp your life all at once. that’s a surefire way to quit altogether. be realistic about your limits, but also push yourself where appropriate so you don’t stay static.
journal. mentalize your feelings. don’t suppress your emotions. be curious about your thought processes and what makes you tick. always be self-compassionate, but hold yourself accountable where it’s due.
start pursuing hobbies. make a list of all the things that interest you and try them out. there are so many things out out there; one of them is bound to stick. don’t go into it with the negative mindset that you know you wouldn’t like doing x and y. some things you might know in your heart are not for you, but don’t rule out possibilities you’re ambivalent about. be open-minded and see finding your interests not as a chore, but as an exciting prospect.
practice gratitude. this is such a popular advice bc it works. start off your day by listing 3 things you’re grateful for. it’s crazy how so many people don’t realize it’s a blessing to just be alive, when so many people get robbed of their lives so early on. i’m not saying to never shoot for more, but having a foundation of contentment goes a very long way.
have a solid set of friends, but march your own march. you don’t need anybody; you just want them. same thing with friends. friends are good for us because we are a social species, but if one person were to leave your life, it’s not the end of the world. your life is already colorful, filled with so many things you’re doing for yourself—furthering your career, improving on your skills, working on your fitness—that a person leaving shouldn’t be detrimental. never be so dependent on someone you can’t envision a life without them. you need to make your life exciting on your own; you can’t have someone else doing all the heavy lifting for you.
have an abundance mindset. if one thing fails, that just leaves room for something better to take its place. you are always bound to find better. there are 8 billion people in this world. there are countless different possibilities. failure or loss does not mean it’s game over for you.
see pain as a learning experience. true growth spurts do truly come from heartbreak or failure. it teaches us to pick ourselves back up and try again. always have a growth mindset. that relationship didn’t work out? now you know what to avoid for the next relationship. you’re single again? now you get to focus on and learn more about yourself. that friendship ended? at least you won’t waste any more time on someone who doesn’t value having you in their life. you didn’t get that job? that leaves the door open for other possibilities. you didn’t get the score you wanted? now you know what to work on to do better next time.
action-directed things to improve your self-esteem. you can sit in your room all day and tell yourself you’re the best thing since sliced bread and everyone’s obsessed with you, but truly building up your self-esteem comes not only from thinking positive things about yourself, but also acting on them. work on things you care about. work on yourself as a person. love who you are, but also strive for self-improvement. do things that can act as proof—to you—for why you’re worthy. it’s a game changer.
dispense of the victim-of-life mentality. it’s safe to dwell in your misery and keep blaming things on factors out of your control, but where would that get you? it’s just resulting in you expending your energy needlessly. stop seeing life as jumping from tragedy to tragedy. actively fight against your negativity bias. recognize that for every bad thing that happens, 100 good things happen, but we as humans have a tendency of focusing only on the negatives. sort through your emotions, make peace with what happened, but pick yourself up and move on. the most valuable thing we all have on this planet is time. it’s limited and it will come to an end eventually. you don’t want to look back and resent yourself for not simply letting go of things and appreciating what you have around you.
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yourstardarling · 2 months
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Aquarius Through The Houses
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Aquarius in our charts signifies where we stand out from others in society. It is where we are ahead of our time for being different than the popular majority. Aquarius is the inventor and pushes us to make things anew. By doing this we propel ourselves forward to the future, but this often leads us to feel outcasted by society. We may feel like an alien in the area of our lives the sign influences. It is because this is where we are called to be unique and shine for being different. Authenticity should be our top priority wherever Aquarius is placed. Conforming to everyone else in this area of our lives will only lead to self-destruction. Embracing what makes you different will lead to a since of liberation and freedom. In turn you will get to shine in your full capacity.
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Aquarius 1st House: These people are the embodiments of indifference in the world. Your whole being is built upon standing out from the crowd. This might make you feel uncomfortable though, by how much you stand out from other people. When you were young, you may have had an identity crisis of not fitting in with groups of people your own age. You've often felt like an alien among your peers and may have dealt with a lot of people shunning you out as a kid. You feel validated when you surround yourself with other people, music, shows and things that are considered unconventional in society. Might have fears surrounding getting attention in the public eye. Something about your physical appearance is striking and makes it hard for you to go unnoticed. Your style and way of dressing is entirely different from the norm. Your goal is to learn to embrace your individuality and that not everyone needs to accept your uniqueness. The sooner you do this and try to stop fitting in, the easier you can shine and meet the ones who will support you. Understand that you are a futuristic individual and that it’s okay for people not to process who you are right way. Someday they will get it and see how ahead of your time you've been. Don’t be ashamed for being different!
Aquarius 2nd house: These individuals hold unconventional values that separates them from other people. You have a unique way of accumulating wealth and assets in your life. Innovative and forward thinking, towards how you gain stability. Your financial plans may be frowned upon by other people. You strive to find new ways when it comes to achieving your financial goals. While others might think you place high value on money, the freedom it gives is what you are really after. Not worrying about not having enough. In fact you are pretty detached when it comes to wealth and this unique approach is why you shine at gaining. It’s not about the money, but what can you do with it. You value your networks of people and they can help you a lot when it comes to gaining sustainability. Might invest into humanitarian causes to see the betterment of society. You truly do care about the collective knowledge. Intelligence is very important for you. Finding intellectual ways and concepts to help you achieve your goals is a priority. Your open to foreign concepts to see how other people view certain situations. Overall, you find liberation through your physical possessions and financial independence. What's most important to you is gaining freedom from the material world. Aquarius here urges you to figure out a unique outlook to what wealth means to you and focus on pursuing it in your life.
Aquarius 3rd house: The mind of Aquarius third housers are always one step ahead. Very future oriented people focusing on what is the next goal. They think of things quickly and find unique solutions to issues. As a young child, you could have felt very different in your school education. It's because your learning style and the way you pick up information is unique from those around you. This could've caused you feeling shunned out and doubt your intelligence because you couldn't operate the same way others received information. You have a unique communication style that can seem unconventional by other people. It can come off as somewhat detached which leaves some people to feel offended. Your siblings can see this detachment and you may have a distant relationship with them as well. The thing is you do care, but when you communicate your focus is on being as literal and factual as possible. You like talking about things that are out of the norm and thinking about the future. Your mind is always in the future and this leads you to having a lot o progressive ideas. It's because you desire to be a free thinker and be liberated through your mind. That is why you could’ve had a rebellious attitude towards school because it conformed your thoughts to be like everyone else. Aquarius is teaching you here that your forward thinking and unique curiosity should be cherished to separate you from the point of view of other people. Don’t just believe anything just because that is the popular way of thinking. Find unique ways to see things from different perspectives. You learn differently from your peers and need to find a way to gain knowledge that personally works for you.  Freedom of speech is important for you and you are called to raise your voice for humanitarian causes.
Aquarius 4th house: Family dynamics for these people is a little chaotic. Random changes could've been occurring around your home as a child. You may feel like an outsider within your own home. Something about your background separates you from others in your family. It could be you have a different nationality or ethnicity than the family majority. Your family could be foreigners within the land you live in. The detachment from your family members can make you clash and have different ideals than them. You may not show much emotion around them. An original thinker between your family, you see things differently and futuristically than them. You can be considered the rebel within your family and you are not afraid to speak out against them. Mainly because your able to see the generational issues and traditional values your family holds that don't align with you. What they push on you to do is just not who you are. Might be the black sheep in your relationship with your family and feel shunned by them. Aquarius here wants you to help your family progress and let go of ways that no longer serve them. Focusing on the liberation of the family line. A desire for social changes and humanitarian causes to be valued in your home. Your social networks and friends can be considered your family. You have a unique way of viewing what family means to you. The online world can be a place of comfort for you, offering a space for you to gain a sense of freedom.
Aquarius 5th house: Creativity is unique to you. You’re able to see new patterns and different ways to make creations. You stand out for your talents. The interest of these individuals can be shocking for other people to see. Through your art and creative expression, a sense of freedom is gained. You may value intellectual pursuits and gaining knowledge about topics you are interested in. Spelling is Fun. These people can find a lot of joy by learning new things. You are always trying to find unique avenues to gain a sense of happiness. Your friends can be a good source of fun for you and bring you a lot of excitement. This makes you stand out when you are in a crowd of people. Attraction towards romantic partners that are intellectually stimulating. Your children may be rebellious themselves to the systems that is placed around them. This is a result of your progressive approach towards parenting and finding out unique ways to raise your kids. It can also be because you can have a detached parenting approach with them. Aquarius pushes you to be experimental towards what brings you pleasure in your life. A push towards finding joy in spontaneity and that different is not scary. The more you do this, the easier it becomes to stand out from what everyone else is doing.
Aquarius 6th house: You have a unique way in how you move through your day to day that separates you from other people. Time is of the essence and you want to find a different approach to spend it wisely. Your schedule may be somewhat chaotic with you always having something new to do. The people who view you in your day today might not like your approach to your daily routine. However, that is what fits you personally and helps you keep composure through the storms in your daily life. You may be dealing with a lot of disorganization within your daily environment. Since this is the house of bad fortune, misfortunate events can occur out of nowhere. This can greatly disrupt your routine and send you into a state of panic. Aquarius is teaching you here that no matter how hard you try, not everything in your life will be order. You overcompensate in your life by trying to keep things in check, but something will happen and things will fall apart. It's about adaptability and being detached from the hurdles that come your way. In doing so you find unique ways to navigate your life. You can also have an unconventional approach towards health and wellness. Might be into home remedies and alternative medicine. Keeping your body healthy in a personal method that works for you, helps separate you from other people.
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celaenaeiln · 2 months
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“always an angel, never a god” and making it about the robins with batman is heartbreaking and all but have you considered:
the robins to the previous robin.
robins 2-5 looking at robin 1. the hero worship, the love they have for dick grayson. they want to live up to “the golden boy” “the golden standard”. they want to make him proud.
but dick grayson himself? he looks at batman, in his eyes he doesn’t live up to his mentor. sure he thinks he’s good, but it’s not like he thinks he’s the best. to himself, he isn’t “the golden child”, he’s not “the golden standard”, there’s too many mistakes, too many sins, to make him view himself the way others view him
“always an angel, never a god.”
Anon are you providing a sample? Drop the album!!
Just - Perfect.
There's actually a time when Damian is feuding with Tim about something and he's like Grayson is the "Golden Child", Todd is the "Black Sheep", and you're something something. He didn't actually say "something something" but you get the point. Damian doesn't like to be forthcoming with his words, but - "We were the best, Richard. No matter what anyone thinks." THOSE WORDS CAME OUT OF HIS MOUTH. The fact that Damian literally calls him the golden child tho is literally ascending me. He loves his dad.
Jason gets fear-gassed once in Truth & Justice (2021) comic and it reveals that one his worst fears has always been about living up to the massive legacy Dick left behind. There's a change in the way Dick is portrayed because Jason is terrified of Nightwing, not Dick. Because he knows that Dick loves him and stuff but Nightwing is downright petrifiying. Because Nightwing and as Robin, Dick created the firsts for everything. The first partner, the first side-kick, the person who created their world. Not just Jason's but Dick opened up the gateway to Every. Single. Hero. That came after him. And he did it perfectly. He excelled in every aspect imaginable and then surpassed them to create the golden standard that every single person that came after strived to touch. Not just for what they should do, but who they should be.
Tim straight up tells Dick to his face every time that Dick is the best robin that ever existed. No squalms, no hesitation, it's just pure fact for Tim. There is simply, no one better.
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Batman/Catwoman: The Gotham War: Scorched Earth
Stephanie didn't have a lot of interactions with Dick and she wasn't close to him but she still had a huge deal of respect for him. It was almost deference, the way she treated him. I considered that it might be because he was Batman but she treated Batman very differently than she treated Dick!bats.
But despite literally every single Robin thinking how perfect Dick is, how unattainable he set the standards, Dick himself feels so pale in comparison to his mentor.
I wrote this post a long while back regarding Dick's thoughts of insecurities about bruce to the tune of Toxic Thoughts by Faith Marie which pretty much encapsulates all his worries. But the thing is, even Bruce tells dick how amazing he is and he's so much better than him, and he means it.
There's a time when Bruce fights each of his former robins and he takes them all down easily but he's trekking his way to the last one and he's says "Attack of the Robins, that leaves only the first one. Hand-to-hand, the toughest of them all." He says this all in his mind. Which means when he tells Dick he's better, he really means it but Dick? Dick will never, ever understand the weight of Bruce's sincerity towards him. He always thinks he's not a good enough leader, good enough detective, good enough whatever there is. In his mind he will never be good as Bruce in anyway because for him Bruce is the best person to ever exist. For him, despite everyone in the entire superhero community exalting him and singing his praises, he feels he'll never be like his hero.
"always an angel, never a god."
Anon, that - 😌🤌✨
Glorious. Simply a magnificently apt description.
But you know who this insecurity really affects more than him?
The Robins! Literally everyone else!
You know, there's actually panel about Roy that explains how he feels about Dick's insecurities towards Bruce-
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Arsenal Issue #2
And the reason why I brink it up is because I think this is exactly how Jason feels about Dick. In Jason's eyes there is no one better than Dick and it's a nasty feeling that the person he thinks it the best feels inferior to someone else.
Tim also has opinions on the same line except in his case, he hates Dick's unconditional loyalty towards Bruce (yes I'm referencing gotham knights). He loves Bruce but he hates that Dick loves him to the point that he'll follow him endlessly because he has this romanticized, rose-sunglasses view of Bruce. WHICH IRONICALLY ROY ALSO FEELS-
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The Titans (1999) Issue #15
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Gotham Knights Issue #26
Where it bothers Roy and Jason that Dick would think anyone is better than him, it rankles Tim and Roy that he's being subservient to a mentor he's far better than.
Even Steph was like, "Dude we need you. Where were you?"
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Batman and Robin Eternal Issue #2
And Dick's like "Bruce needed me.."
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Batman and Robin Eternal Issue #2
He looks so tired, doing God's bidding. But this aligns perfectly with the fact that Bruce has a canonical god complex AKA consistently inflated feelings of personal ability, privilege, or infallibility. People who have god complexes are highly dogmatic in their views, meaning the person speaks of their personal opinions as though they were unquestionably correct.
Literally and metaphorically he's an actual angel because he works as a messenger of God (Bruce in the DC world) and is the epitome of goodness, someone who always offers comfort and aid to everyone.
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strawberryblue-blog · 30 days
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Insecurities —FC Barcelona.
summary: How would they react to your insecurities?
warnings: none. sad, angst.
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Pedri.
He can't stand to hear you cry because you hate your body, he will do his best to help you with that.
Little things that will make you start to look at yourself differently. He really supports you, he wants to show you how much he likes you, that it's okay to love yourself and that you can do better. You are precious to Pedri and he understands that you are not sure of yourself, so he will love you for both of you.
You don't have to be ashamed with him, Pedri also sometimes has his issues with self-doubt and insecurity, so he understands you. But he doesn't want you to keep suffering, he's going to love you just the way you are. You don't have to be the prettiest, or the thinnest, or the tallest. You just have to be you and that's enough for him.
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Ferran Torres.
Ferran really loves to take pictures of you, even when he knows you hate them because you never look good in them. But for him you look so beautiful that he can't help it and wants to make a monument with your photos.
He is aware of your hatred of seeing yourself in photos or mirrors but he wants you to get over it, he wants to help you to be able to see yourself without hating yourself. Ferran loves you so much and obviously doesn't like to see you suffering, image is not everything. He cares about your well being, your mental health, your soul and your heart.
He will show all his love for you, kisses, caresses, hugs that will make you feel safe in his arms, sheltered and protected. He will upload pictures of you with beautiful phrases and will help you to overcome it little by little.
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Pablo Gavi.
He is aware of all the effort you make every day to love yourself a little more, he is the reason why you do it and the person who supports you the most in that sense.
He understands your ups and downs that you usually have but he is glad that you alone can turn the situation around. He loves you just the way you are, no matter what you look like, he loves every part of your body and your personality. He doesn't want to burden you with it but if he could he would tell you at home second how beautiful you are on the outside and especially on the inside.
He hopes that together you can get through this, loving and supporting each other like you normally do. He can't wait to show you the immense love he has for you, make you feel loved, wanted and safe. That when you are with him, you can be you completely.
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Joao Felix.
He really strives to help you love him every day, with his words, with his caresses, with his heart. Joao usually brings out his most romantic side when we talk about you.
You don't have to pretend to feel good with him, you can tell him anything you want, you can cry, you can just say nothing, Joao will be there for you. He will deny and help you understand that not everything is physical and that your mind is your strongest armor.
He fell in love with you in every possible way, he doesn't need you to be pretty, or tall, or slim, Joao wants to be your refuge, to love you and show you that he will be with you when you need him the most and that he will support you in everything.
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Fermin Lopez.
He doesn't like to hear you say that you don't like such and such a thing about yourself, or that you would like to change something about yourself, he hates it. Because he loves every corner of you shamelessly, he admires you and is proud of who you are. He doesn't care about anything but your happiness and love.
Fermin thinks you are the most beautiful woman in the world, he chose you for a reason, everything about you made him fall in love. Neither your height, nor your weight, nor your skin color, nor your language define you. He knows your heart, your intentions, your abilities and that makes him fall in love with you every day.
Sometimes he thinks the world is too cruel and that no one should feel that way, so he will try to help you in any way he can, he wants you to know that he will be there for you no matter what and that he loves you more than anyone else.
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Marc Guiu.
If there is someone who understands you, it is Marc. He is also a bit insecure with himself, you are still young and growing. Sometimes he thinks that he is not enough and that he could do better, that maybe you are too much for him. But you know how to support each other in spite of that.
Marc loves you with all your problems and insecurities, just as you love him. You don't need anything but your love for each other to survive. You learned to know each other, to understand each other, to listen to each other and most importantly to love each other.
You are both so secure when you are together, when you laugh, when you kiss, when you love each other, when you are yourselves.Your hearts will grow stronger and your minds will heal little by little as long as you have each other.
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solurae · 7 months
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four eyes (more to love underneath the frames) — PT.1
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HELLO!!! okok the prologue received some good reception so i will!!! be continuing the series :3c THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE NICE COMMENTS AND REBLOGS AND OHHHH MY GOD THE MOTHER OF NERD!MIGUEL @nymphomatique REBLOGGED MY PROLOGUE (i could die happy) ty for the food and the inspiration to start this series!!!
i’m still the process of setting up my tumblr because my ass made this my secondary blog (but idek if that changes anything… i don’t think) OH AND YES THERE IS NOW A TAG FOR THE SERIES! ALSO PLSPLSPLS DON’T BE AFRAID TO SEND THROUGH ASKS FOR DRABBLES OR REQUESTS OR ANYTHING REALLY!!! i’m more than happy to feed us both hehe
tw/cw: mmmm not any i can think of (FIXING ANY GRAMMATICAL ERRORS AFTER POSTING BECAUSE I’M COOL)
PROLOGUE?! < <
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“sorry students, the projector is currently out of order so i’d like for all of you to just go through the powerpoint on your own. feel free to come up and ask questions.” the professor sighs as he closes his laptop and settles down onto his desk, the chatter of other students and laptop keyboards create the perfect white noise for your 8AM lecture.
you weren’t really that keen on studying this period anyway so you’ll just get it done later but god he looked so much better up close. why did miguel have to be so fucking dorky and hot and cool all at fucking once? it bothered you that miguel has never spoken to you. ever. but with that in mind, no one would ever think of the effect this nerd had on you, not even the nerd himself.
“oi mate, mandem depending on you to pass this class.” you shake your head after you’re slightly shoved to the side of your desk by none other than your best friend bad influence. hobie, hobie, hobie… you groan as you look his way, legs propped up on the desk as if he’s completely unaware that he’s in an lecture hall. next to him is peter, trying to shove hobie’s legs off the table for fear of accidentally hitting miguel who was seated right infront of you.
peter and hobie were the angel and devil on your shoulder that manifested into your closest friends. it was so hard to make friends (partially because you weren’t interested in anyone aside from miguel) and that everyone in your class were already in tight knit friend groups, and it was clear they all wanted to keep it that way with the silent treatment and one-sided conversations. but that didn’t matter. what did matter was that neither of them were taking this class seriously.
hobie - for god knows what reason - just took the class for fun. well, hobie took it out of spite. he said and you quote, “it is my take on deconstructing the stereotypes and preconceptions of particular social groups alongside us punks that dictate that we lack the desire and strive for academic feats”. and you know what? for someone who likes to laze around and count the panels of wood used on the ceiling for half the lecture, his high grades put his narrow-minded folks to shame. oh and peter? although he couldn’t afford to skip his classes, he did anyway. mary jane, MJ - the mother to his children, as he calls her - is in the humanities elective they both share. and peter might as well skip that class instead of looking at MJ as if she invented humanities. you don’t know how watching you and hobie bicker was a better investment of peter’s time but no one was complaining. someone had to remind the both of you of operation miguel mutation, or in other words, get his gaze out of his books and onto your face.
“so much for wanting to prove the world wrong when you’re relying on someone else to do it for you”, you scoffed at hobie, pretending to brush dust off your shoulders. he chuckled, “i just wanted to know how it feels to be those good for nothing, narcissistic capitalists, is all”. you shoved him so hard it rattled your seats and you didn’t even realise you accidentally kicked miguel’s seat until his cold hard gaze towards you even made hobie look like an art piece in the middle of rendering.
“can i help you?”, fuuuuuuck off. he sounds so fucking hot. insanely hot.
his large pitch black frames could never obstruct how chiseled miguel was, he had angular features such as his nose, his jawline and even his cupid’s bow. but these features were softened with warm red eyes and wisps of his hair coming down to frame his forehead. o’hara’s face overall was slightly scrunched, his hand gripped onto the fold away desk while he faced you, his casual attire in sweats could barely hide his build. his mouth was slightly open, the very tip of his fangs making themselves known. he was definitely a specimen, a gorgeous specimen for lack of better word. you didn’t even realise you were staring at miguel until he raised his eyebrow and glanced over at hobie, then over to peter who was just happily content watching your unplanned, unconventional first meeting.
“oh. um, no?”, you were still confused why miguel (the man you’ve been trying to get the attention of ever since the first inkling of a feeling), suddenly turned around and spoke to you—
“excuse me, may i ask that you don’t disrupt your peers during class? i’m watching you too, brown.” if your teacher scolding you like a wack ass boy in year 9 wasn’t enough to make you embarrassed, your quick descent into realising that you quite literally pushed yourself - pushed miguel, rather - to make the first move. in the worst fucking way possible. you ducked your head a bit in an attempt to avoid the gazes of your classmates only to find your shoe jammed between the gap next to miguel’s seat, missing his elbow by a mere few centimetres.
you’ve got to be fucking kidding me.
so much for devising a plan to properly introduce yourself by actually trying in class by answering the lecturers questions, to the point miguel can’t help but wonder that there is in fact competition. aware of his competitive nature, miguel would try to get ahead of you or widen that gap but then realise he was all wrong from the moment you’d tap his shoulder for a question you pretend to not understand, to look as if you’re struggling so much miguel can ignore his own studies for a little while to help you. men are stupid after all. miguel doesn’t apply here but being an outcast adjacent of the entire university has its benefits, in a way where it benefits your elaborate plan from stroking miguel’s ego by helping you, to ever so slightly become more and more interested in you. once you slowly ease into getting out of pretending to be an academic victim and miguel finds the joy in being academically challenged by the one girl who braved the odds and approach the mysterious mutant, he’d ask to you to meet at the cafeteria or the library. it didn’t matter. you would then, finally then, be in miguel’s line of sight.
“if this is your way of trying to get into my pants, i’m not interested.”
papers were stuffed into bags and the squeaking of chairs reverberated the lecture theatre. people were making their way to their next class while peter, hobie and yourself shared looks of disbelief, disgust, along with hobie’s infamous expression that scream the words i fucking told you so.
what the fuck? what the actual fuck was that?
o’hara didn’t miss a beat and swivelled around to start packing his belongings, completely unaware of how his response alone completely changed and destroyed all prior preconceptions about this man - or boy as you would now call him - turns out being smart never stopped anyone from being dickhead.
you felt like you just failed a quiz you didn’t know that was happening, despite being prepared to ace it.
it wasn’t like you to fail, however. especially not to him.
[ 🩷 — TAGS! @angelicful @lilipads @zaunsin @m4dyy @okkotszn @rhythmloid @cosmicbarstardust @thespaceinbetweennothing @cu1tvenus @huniedeux @oharasfilipinawife @ilovemuppets @loonalockley ] feel free to comment if you’d like to be added to the taglist!
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dreamwritersworld · 1 year
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The perfect child. (Sully family x reader)
Y/n…the perfect child who they say would never burn out…
You see, Y/n was a perfectionist, always striving for her parents approval, always wanting more and she was always told to do everything right. She’s the oldest after all.
Jake was strict on Y/n and Neytiri was very gentle and loving. A mothers love was like no other. Now…Neytiri loved both of her older daughters but there was always something broken between the two…she treated both the same but it couldn’t be said Jake did.
He was encouraging and gentle towards Kiri, it made her learn quicker, faster and stronger. His teachings with his eldest were harder, faster, tiring. In his mind Y/n was supposed already be perfect…that’s all he wanted. Neytiri saw it as him trying to make a monster out of her, someone who would go farther than they could imagine to protect their children…but she was their child as well..? So if he handed off the responsibility to Y/n, she’d take it right off and comfort her.
They have fought many times on the topic of the way he raised the boys and Y/n…she was there for most of the arguments and she always watched from a far blinking away tears.
*flashback*
Earlier that day Y/n and Neteyam were going head to head on who’s the better warrior but Jake had given Neteyam better tasks to ensure he’d succeed more compared to Y/n.
When Neteyam won, Jake ripped into how Y/n had little mistakes. Neytiri pulled him into their home and ripped at him soon after…
“I mean really Jake, Y/n fought her heart out and the only thing you cared about was picking on the little things when she had already done her harder tasks perfectly.”
“Because she always gets frustrated easily if she doesn’t do good, she needs to be perfect otherwise who’s keeping her to be stronger against the world?”
“You put all of her siblings and people against her! That little girl is mortified all the time but you don’t care! How about being a “role model”? I have heard you say to Kiri, to a little nine year old girl, ‘y/n won’t be happy for you. she’s jealous of you’”
“She is! I don’t understand why we argue on this. Y/n turns off immediately when it comes to anyone who had shown they are better and she needs to stop.”
“You have sabotaged our daughter and the rest of the kids! Our children aren’t soldiers and you will not put them against each other!”
“Y/n is talented I’ll give you that but she needs someone to keep her humble and perfect! She is practically the future of this clan and if she makes a mistake the whole clan is going to talk about it."
-*
He wasn’t fully wrong…When Y/n failed it’s either she’d let the frustrated tears fall, or blink them away. However when Y/n finished her challenges her father was the first person she looked for, he would tell her what she still needed to work on. She felt like she needed to hear the truth, that’s what she was always used to.
In hindsight it was very sad for Neytiri to see how desperate Y/n was for her father approval. And it was equally sad to see how desperate Jake was for him to be in control of Y/n and her perfection. He would constantly put Y/n on a pedestal in public knowing it would put more weight on her.
Jake had many ways to make Y/n feel sick, it wasn’t his intentions but it felt that way.
*flashback*
8 year old Y/n was about to sing and dance in front of the clan, she was fully calm while her mother painted her face until Y/n noticed her dad beginning to approach her.
“Hey y/n!”
Y/n walked up to him as well and gave him a hug.
“Are you ready to be the best?”
Y/n swayed back and forth as she felt the nervousness come back up
“…I don’t know”
“Just be good. Don’t worry about anyone else.”
“I won’t! You make me nervous when you say that!”
“Do good!”
“Ok bye!”
Y/n tried to push her father out kindly, feeling overwhelmed.
“Go.”
Y/n gave a nervous smile at what her father slightly rushing her to be good
“You go! Please.”
“Ok I’ll let you go! Do good!”
The young girl walked back and Neytiri can tell the change in her emotions
“Are you alright?”
“Yea!”
Neytiri looked sideways at her daughter to get more answers
“…he just makes me nervous.”
Y/n sat quietly sick to her stomach while Neytiri kept painting feeling the same way her daughter was.
-*
For my loved ones I’d kill and I’d die for them. No hesitation. The nervousness went away once I had to protect and defend..I have…killed before. There was a day where the sky people entered in a forbidden part of the forest one where my siblings weren’t supposed to be.
*flashback*
There was red coming from two of the men I had killed while I turned to my siblings who were probably hidden in the forest. I didn’t hesitate, I had came out as soon as a gun was drawn…my blood ran cold. I called out for them once the coast was clear and when they came out they looked horrified.
“Im so sorry you had to see that. You aren’t supposed to be in this part of the forest you know that, we must leave now.”
They had already radioed my parents when I had finished oh…the look in my mothers eyes broke me.
They had fear. Fear for my siblings and I.
I was covered in red blood, and scars. I couldn’t even focus…I was so scared by what I had just done. My mind couldn’t remember it, I just went blank.
When my father went up to me slowly with a sly smile..
“Y/n you went on to become the greatest child warrior pandora has ever known. No one can match you efficiency, your ruthlessness!”
I felt sick to my stomach…I was only a child.
My mother rushed to hug me comforted me and repeatedly apologized…it wasn’t even her fault.
“Mother it’s ok! Truly, I just did what needed to be done. I handled it well and protected my siblings. ‘My siblings, my responsibility’. I’m fine.”
Y/n held her mother while she cried…Y/n just comforted her mom instead and blinked away her tears.
-*
No one knew how insecure i felt…how disappointed i was in myself. I was unsure if I was even good or bad…I felt like a monster but at the same time I thrived off of the praise my father sent my way for saving my siblings. I didn’t want to play this part but i would all for him. And this week was absolutely the hardest of them all.
*day one*
Lo’ak, Neteyam and I were all training! Yesterday my father had me learn more about healing next to Kiri as one of my tasks however I couldn’t beat her to it, not when my father was watching…piercing his eyes right through me.
Once we were done he lined me up with the boys and told us what needed to be achieved by the end of the week.
“You three are to start spotting next week. I don’t want anyone here that is not focus or achieving what they’re told. If you do good it makes us look better..Y/n you didn’t do as good at healing, you’re sister beat you so you failed. It doesn’t look good for us. Let me ask this question to all of you. How many of you are training when we aren’t together?”
Y/n looked down at her fathers degrading words disappointed that she didn’t beat Kiri. She nodded to her fathers question saying
“I do..”
Jake rolled his eyes and began losing his patience at the child who couldn’t land what she was told right, lately.
“Well…get off your butt, walk over to your grandmother and train for healing instead!”
Y/n immediately looked away blinking away pained tears…she was tired already, just the night before she stayed up training so she could be ready for the harsh week to come.
Jake spoke again..
“That’s your fault!…don’t embarrass me and do it right. Now go back to training.”
Y/n walked away while her two younger brothers watched her, they later had a conversation..
!Away from Y/n!
“Bro did you see how much Y/n wanted to cry? She’s always good at everything, I don’t know why she cries! She’s the favorite!”
“There's always pressure on Y/n, I mean she wants to please our parents. She can't go to training and be anything but perfect."
Lo’ak rolled his eyes at his brothers statement.
“No duh! But cmon bro you got to admit that sometimes Y/n tries too hard for dad’s approval!”
Now it was Neteyam’s turn to roll his eyes
“She’s the eldest, she needs to be perfect. In dad’s eyes she can be fumbling with her future and it’s not looking good for the family if she isn’t perfect.”
-*
*day three*
Since the day before Y/n spent the whole time training with her grandmother Jake made Kiri and her do an actual competition against each other on who can do stitching and healing ointments better.
Kiri was eager to beat the “perfect child” while Y/n was anxious and determined to prove her father that she has gotten better…she has no chance in winning, she was going against someone who only ever trained for healing while Y/n trained for everything in such little time.
Both of the children did well but Kiri ultimately won. Despite the win Y/n hugged Kiri and told her she’s a good healer. Jake hugged Kiri speaking words that Y/n wished was given to her.
“Even if you had the worlds biggest crown I wouldn’t be any Prouder of you than I am right now!”
The eldest child’s heart was left to yearn for her fathers love, inside she was crying for more than just being ignored. If Y/n won she was ok but if she lost she failed at everything. She didn’t understand his game anymore.
-*
*day four*
What Neytiri never knew was how Jake sometimes encouraged Y/n to break Neytiri’s instructions to Y/n. For example when Neytiri noticed her tiredness while Y/n was helping prep food and told her to take a break from training.
Y/n took a break just like Neytiri told her and when Jake walked into the room where Y/n was watching Tuk with small tears falling because she was panicking inside knowing her father would be upset at her.
“Y/n I want to talk to you.”
Y/n got up and walked past her siblings who had heard and felt how upset Jake was at Y/n
“What’s going on? Why were you not at training and then you were crying?”
“I was crying because training is my safe space but I was just tire-“
Jake cut her off while Y/n nervously played with her hands, hold back tears.
“Nu-uh! Every opportunity I have given you, came from my heart. That was awful Y/n. I don’t deserve that, I didn’t deserve any of it. There’s always another kid, there’s always somebody else. We love you. We were ready to work with you and you sat at home!”
Jake’s hurt expression made Y/n feel worse and she began crying at the pain and disappointment she caused.
“I’m sorry.”
“Why didn’t you get out of our home and tell your mother no I’m going to training!”
“I’m so sorry”
“That’s not going to cut it. It’s gonna take a long time for you to be better.”
When the family was ready to head to bed Neytiri saw Y/n’s bed empty she looked around to see the child sleeping with dried tears in a corner of a cushion where she had previously been watching Tuk. Neytiri shook her head and covered the child with a blanket knowing how stressed Y/n was.
-*
*day five*
The whole family went to a secluded place to do training. Neytiri watched Tuk until she heard Kiri tell her heartbreaking news
“dad won’t refer to Y/n by her name. He keeps calling her ‘that girl’ or ‘her’ or ‘she.”
Neytiri turned her head to face her other children and husband.
“You! Girl in the front move to the center.”
She sighed to her husband’s teaching methods. This was his way of punishing Y/n and making her do more work to make him ‘remember her name’
Neytiri called for a break and pulled Y/n away
“What’s going on my child you don’t see happy”
“He just says girl, he doesn’t even say my name.”
Y/n embraced the hug Neytiri gave her before telling Y/n it’s ok and to go back…this time Neytiri watched from afar.
“you were gone for a day! Not a year.”
Neytiri shakes her head and got up to pull Jake
“Our daughter has a name. She has a name Jake and you better stop holding a grudge.”
Jake came back to the children and began calling Y/n by her name. Neytiri protected her.
-*
*day 7*
Father has had me training all week and all day! I barley get any rest time, in fact I’m currently walking to where we train. It’s safer to say flying with my ikran would not have been a good idea, my tired body would bring me down with her. I was so exhausted and I felt so heavy, my heart was sinking into blackness as well as my eyes. Everything went black as I fell to the floor..
When I had woken up, I was terrified. Not because it was already eclipse or because i had fainted from exhaustion…it was because of my father. I have never done this before and I was supposed to be there to train. I ran my way back home, using up all the little energy I restored and opened my home to see my panicked family.
My father rushed to me and grabbed me by my shoulders searching for any wounds.
“I’m sorry sir, this won’t happen-“
“Damn right it won’t! You know how important training is Y/n. You will be leader of this clan soon! You must act like it. You do not show up late, you don’t act stupid, this is not ok…”
My father words began getting blurry as he yelled in my face about what I should’ve been doing instead and my body began feeling sick once again…I felt like I was drowning and my breaths were getting shorter. I can see my mothers mad face turn into worry as she slightly pushes my dad away from me.
“Y/n what’s wrong?”
I don’t know. I’m unable to speak back and I drop to my knees. My lungs felt closed up and I was struggling to catch a breath. I had tears in my eyes while my mother began talking again
“It’s ok Y/n. You’re ok. I’m here. Breath my child.”
Once my breathing got back to normal my mother allowed me to tell the story and urged me to get checked by grandmother…she didn’t allow my father to keep on yelling at me.
-*
*day 8*
My grandmother explained that I was just having attacks and that I’d be ok! Today the clan had a dancing ceremony, I wasn’t feeling well so I opted out on joining…until my father told the clan that I’d be joining the dance later that night.
I couldn’t say ‘no’. Not when my father talked up my name…I didn’t want to let him down.
The time for me to dance in the ceremony was coming and my nerves were so high..as I was walking to where the crowd can see me I can hear my dad
“Focus.”
“Represent.”
the pressure got worse from then but I pushed it away.
The clan began singing and dancing but I knew all eyes were on me…I was in the center and I felt my breathing feel heavy again…then suddenly I forgot the dance.
My couldn’t hold the fake smile and I ran off to go to the side where no one can see me.
I was begging for anyone to just help me.
“No! No! No! My father is going to freak out on me…I want to go again….I’ve never done this before. Can I please go again? Please!..please! My fathers going to hate me.”
Neytiri rushed to Y/n hugging her and pulling her away from the ceremony and fellow navis who had been there eyes widened to the visibly panicked child.
“My fathers going to hate me!”
“No he’s not Y/n.”
“He’s going to hate me! I’ve never done this…I’ve never done this.”
Neytiri wasn’t fully surprised that Y/n forgot her dance. Jake and her both put way to much pressure on Y/n. She was just 15 years old. Every single week and day she had to do tasks, train and protect everyone. If something wasn’t done correctly Jake would pinch at it all. Neytiri knew when to calm her down but Jake wanted Y/n to be his perfect child…he didn’t care that he was going to burn the kid out.
“I can’t breathe…I can’t breathe.”
Neytiri pulled Y/n down to sit calming her down more before she flew her back to their home.
“y/n you’re having anxiety and your father gets you so nervous. It’s ok. You are safe my child.”
Y/n was so afraid of her father it was killing her inside..Neytiri completely didn’t know what to do. Y/n loved training but her father was beginning to make her hate it. Once everyone arrived home Neytiri sent her and the rest of the kids out to do something. She didn’t fail to notice how Jake went to go up to Y/n and her breath hitched..like she was breathing in her last final breath.
“Go outside and play all of you!”
Neytiri looked at Jake directly in the eyes infuriated.
“We need to talk. You’re incredibly rude to Y/n you need to treat her with more respect.”
“I do! It’s just that when you are in the picture she looks at you.”
“Because she is afraid of you.”
“She goes completely blank. It’s like she’s competing with you and me. She’s a great kid but she looks at you with one eye, and she gets weak.”
“All she does is feel like she fails! You set her up to fail!”
“She’s the greatest her in the division, what do you not understand?”
“You have gone backstage before performances or challenges and have said ‘be like Kiri or Neteyam!’ Who does that to their child?!”
“Why wouldn’t she want to be like them? They are great.”
“Because Y/n doesn’t need to be like them Y/n is Y/n and that is good enough.”
“For who?!”
“For her.”
“Not for you.”
“Yes it it!”
“Then why are you pushing this idea that I set her up to fail?!”
“Because you knew she was sick and you threw her in there and humiliated our daughter.”
“I didn’t humiliate her! She did it herself when she forgot the dance.”
Neytiri couldn’t hear it anymore she began crying.
"Our daughter has been a wreck all week! And now she's having these attacks because she is afraid of you. And Afraid of what you are going to do it her! And you're allowing this with the relationship that you have with our kids and me! And it breaks my heart it is horrible!”
Jake grew silent while he saw his wife break right in front of him…
“I don’t think you get it! She’s tired! Tired of trying to be perfect for everyone, tired of training, tired of doing tasks. You just know the act she puts on! The ‘perfectness’ it’s done. You are hurting our daughter. Our children. Who’s next? Neteyam? Lo’ak? Kiri? You can not keep doing this to our children.”
Tears began falling from Jake’s eyes as he begins replaying old memories of how Y/n was treated…she was just a kid..how could he fix this?..
!💓!
Hope you enjoyed I just did this on the side because I’m trying to get to her stories done but I needed a breather 😊
P.S: Jake manipulating Y/n and isolating her slightly while Y/n didn’t realize really broke me! It was very obvious in the way he made her feel bad about obeying her mothers orders. She felt a lot of pressure and had many panic attacks during her childhood. This was just the first time anyone has seen it because it all became too much. She had such a strong passion for being a fierce warrior but her fathers harsh teachings is making it hard for her to enjoy the ‘hobby’ again. :(
Tag list: @noodlesfics @eywas-heir @itshype @zatarias-pandora @yeosxxx @arminsgfloll @tsireyak @neteyamforlife @aimsro @elegantkidfansoul @goodiesinthecloset21 @nikotokitaswife @bucky1235 @detectivesparrow @kikosaurscave @ssc7514 @simp-erformarvelwomen @eirianna @ambria @im-in-a-pansexual-panik @lv9su @luciddasher @dakotali @httpjiikook @tainted-artist4161 @fanboyluvr @bat1212 @mxn14 @innersuitcasehairdoscissors @ducks118 @midnightliacr @osakis-gf @onetwo123three @briannalarae @thirsty4nonlivingmen @historygeekqueen @abbersreads @eskamybeloved @hoodiepandaninja16 @valovesyou @silentlyswimming @r3dc4ndy @onlytays
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ghyulia · 6 days
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𝗢𝗯𝗲𝘆 𝗠𝗲 𝗕𝗿𝗼𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿𝘀! 𝗪𝗵𝗲𝗻 𝗧𝗵𝗲𝘆 𝗙𝗶𝗻𝗱 𝗢𝘂𝘁 𝗧𝗵𝗲𝘆’𝗿𝗲 𝗬𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗧𝘆𝗽𝗲 𝗽𝟮!
p1 | p2
‹𝟹 ft. Satan & Beelzebub
sorry for any grammar mistakes!!
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𝗦𝗮𝘁𝗮𝗻
𐙚 . He's pretty surprised. Satan knows that he's pretty attractive, but he doesn't have the best of qualities. He genuinely thinks you would fare better with someone who isn't as.. short-fused as him. He appreciates your feelings, of course! He's so madly in love with you
𐙚. Satan resolves not to mention it or make an appearance at the moment as quietly makes his way back to his room. He doesn't think you noticed him.
𐙚. Little did he know, you managed to catch a glimpse of a blonde head swiftly disappearing from behind the door. You knew he heard you and chose not to say anything or make himself known. This threw you for a loop. Did he like you? Did he try to flee the scene in hopes that you wouldn't notice him because he didn't feel that way about you?! All of these thoughts were weighing you down.
𐙚. After a few hours, you finally decided to man up and pay him a visit. It wasn't unusual for you to visit him at this time, since you both usually liked to read while occasionally talking about events that transpired through the day.
𐙚. You knock twice. "Satan?"
"Oh, (Name)." "Come in."
You warily open the door, all your confidence from a few minutes ago dissipating. It's now or never, anyway. You swallow your fear.
"How was your day?" You say. "It was pretty normal. Remember that book from the human world that piqued my interest? It finally came in. I was pretty excited to read it, but I thought it might be better to wait for you. I got a little impatient and read the first few pages, though...I hope that's fine." "Hey, (Name), you seem really tense. Is everything all right?" Satan points out.
"Huh? ..Oh yeah. I'm good..I'm super excited to read the book, too!" You force out. He really is acting like he didn't hear what you said. You were starting to get frustrated, and Satan could notice it too.
"Seriously, (Name). What's up with you?" Satan inquires, confusion written all over his face. His beautiful face. That stupid face!! That face to the body of a stupid demon who's acting like he didn't stupidly hear your confession of love (it wasn't even really a confession..)! That tipped you over the edge.
"What's up with me is that I said you were my type! You were there! You were there....and now you're pretending not to have heard me! That obviously means you don't like me, or at least not enough to mention it! It makes me feel so stupid, Satan. So, so unbelievably stupid. And I know it's not your fault, but sometimes I feel like what we do is pretty intimate, you know?! I mean when we read in your room I'm basically on top of you. A guy who doesn't like me should at least have the decency to stop me from making a fool out of myself. He should push me off him! I really like you, but you obviously don't reciprocate, so you should at least say somet-"
Your ramble is abruptly halted with a short, sweet peck on your cheek. You tilt your head a little to face the Cynical Fourth born, whose ears are fully crimson.
"Y-You.."
"(Name), I'm sorry. I didn't... really know how to bring it up. I told myself that I would later, after we got comfortable. Of course I'm into you. Who wouldn't be? You're amazing, funny, and kind, and you never fail to bring a smile to my face. I'm always quick to anger, as you know..but around you, I always find myself striving to be a better person. You keep me in check. I'm not just into you... I know for a fact that.. ᵗʰᵃᵗ ⁱ..ˡᵒᵛᵉ ʸᵒᵘ." He barely mumbles out the last part. Your smile grows wider and wider, before you all but pounce on the demon.
"I guess that would make us the perfect pair because I feel the exact way about you, 'Tan!"
Satan's smile is the widest you've ever seen. He doesn't know what the future has in store for him, but he knows that as long as you are by his side, there will be nothing he can't overcome.
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𝗕𝗲𝗲𝗹𝘇𝗲𝗯𝘂𝗯
𖦹 He doesn't understand. He's your ideal type of what? He doesn't get it, so he just ignores the statement for a while and continues doing his daily activities.
𖦹 A few hours later, the thought of what you said resurfaces, and while filming his new DevilTube workout video with Asmodeus, Beel decides to ask what it means to be someone's "Ideal type." Once Asmo explains what it means and he finally understands and fully processes what you meant by the statement, he goes fully red. He's so embarrassed he didn't get that earlier. But at the same time, he's ecstatic. You're his type too!
𖦹 Poor guy can't even focus on his workout video. He wraps it up as quickly as possible, leaving Asmo with the editing, and makes a beeline for your room. He stops halfway.
𖦹 He's sweating like a pig...It would probably be best to freshen up before confronting you about what you said. He makes a mad dash to the shower, freshens up quickly, and then hastily makes his way to your room.
"(Name)? You in there?"
"Yeah! Come in, the door is unlocked." Your voice was muffled. "Sorry, I'm looking for a potions book Solomon lent to me. What's up? Asmo was texting the group chat about how you abandoned your "Deviltuber Duties"..or something," You giggled, still not facing him.
"Earlier..You said I was your ideal type. I didn't know what it meant, so I ignored it, but I know what it means now.." Beel confesses.
You freeze. "You heard that?!" You quickly turn around. You felt like all the blood you had in your human body was rushing straight to your face. Your eyes meet his, and you finally realize that the 6'4 demon's face is also decorated in a deep shade of red. You guys are practically matching at this point!
"(Name)... You should probably know that you're my type too. You've always accepted me and my brothers. You still treated Belphie with kindness even after the rough start you two had. I admired that about you. I'm okay with sharing my food if it's you. I've always thought you were amazing ever since the day you stood up for me and Luke. You didn't waver in front of Lucifer, who can be really scary at times...and it made me feel so warm. My feelings only grew from there."
You tear up a little. "Beel, you're so amazing. I don't know what I did to deserve someone like you."
"I think it's the other way around, (Name)." Beel leaves a chaste kiss on your lips and engulfs you in a warm hug.
The Gluttonous seventh-born knows he'll continue to treasure you forever. Beelzebub had never paid any mind to the sun at first because it never shined in the Devildom, but you changed that. You exuded light and radiance from the moment he met you. You were the sun. His sun. He's just so happy that he gets to be the one closest to your heart. You smile and indulge in his embrace, the potions book long forgotten.
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a/n: ahhh it's done!! sorry for the wait omg :(( I'm thinking of what to write ab next but I hope ygs enjoyed this one! oh if anyone has any ideas on what I shld write abt next pleaseee lmk haha :)
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fluentmoviequoter · 2 months
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Just a Dog Walker
Requested Here!
Pairing: Tim Bradford x grad student!dog walker!fem!reader
Summary: As Tim's dog walker, and nothing more, you grow close to him and Kojo. After protecting Kojo from a dog fight, you learn how Tim really sees you.
Warnings: dog attack, dog bite (r), fluffy ending. (Kojo is totally fine!)
Word Count: 3.5k+ words
A/N: More Kojo, what the world really needs.
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“Sergeant Bradford, come to my office for a minute?” Wade asks.
“No,” Tim answers quickly. “Uh, sorry. No, sir, I can’t.”
Crossing his arms, Wade inquires, “Why not?”
A low huff is audible in Tim’s office, but Wade knows it isn’t him.
“Is yo’ dog under that desk?”
“No.”
“Let me amend the question. Is Kojo under the desk?”
Kojo barks happily, trying to push past Tim to visit Wade. Wade shakes his head, dropping his arms.
“Why is he here?”
“I’m working a double and I couldn’t leave him at home. What if he had run out of water or needed to go out?” Tim answers.
“You know, here in sunny Los Angeles, there are more people than I can count who are certified dog sitters.”
“Kojo doesn’t like strangers.”
“Just Kojo? Look, Tim, I get it, the bond between a man and his dog. But, there has to be a boundary, a separation somewhere. I’ll call Luna, she’s got friends with dogs and trusted, bonded employees who watch their dogs. Walk ‘em daily, train ‘em, do everything while you’re at work.”
“I can take care of my dog by myself.”
“Not while you’re at work, Bradford. He can stay for now, Lord knows he’s a better boy than you, but by the end of the week I want to know you’ve got someone to care for him.”
Tim grumbles, pushing his hands under the desk to pet Kojo. “I’ll take you up on Luna’s friends then.”
“She’ll call later.”
“You already asked her?”
“’Course I did. We have work to do. And, so you know, we can see Kojo’s paws under the desk. But nice try.”
“I tried, buddy,” Tim tells Kojo, passing him a treat from the container hidden in his desk drawer.
✯✯✯✯✯
Grad school is expensive, but since you don’t have the degree level you are striving for, you need a different job to get you through. Pushing 30 and being a dog walker isn’t ideal, but it’s paying the bills. One of your neighbors helped you open a business with proper insurance and licensing to care for the dogs of Los Angeles. 
Most of your clients live nearby, and you do your rounds twice daily, studying and attending classes between. One of your favorite clients has a friend named Luna, who you love. She gets you jobs, helps you out constantly, and is like a mother figure to you. You are forever grateful for her. So, when she calls, you rush to answer.
“Hey, Luna!” you answer. “How are you?”
“I’m good. How are you doing? Still working on your dissertation; making progress?”
“Slow but steady, yeah. What can I do for you?”
“This is actually something I can do for you. There’s a sergeant that works with Wade; he’s got a dog and needs someone trusted to take care of his dog while he’s at work. He’s been sneaking Kojo into the station and Wade had to ask him to stop.”
“Kojo? That’s an adorable name. But, yeah, I’d be happy to meet him.”
“Awesome! His name’s Tim. I will send him your number and have Wade force him to set something up.”
“Is Tim a little rough around the edges, typical cop type?”
“Not typical, no… Just- you’ll see when you meet him. He’s great, though, deep down.”
“I’ll try to remember that. Thanks, Luna.”
“See you Friday?”
“See you Friday.”
You sit back, writing the name ‘Tim’ on your dog-walking calendar. Another client would be great for your wallet, but it seems like this sergeant will take some convincing before he hires you. This is understandable, of course, because you wouldn’t let just anyone take care of your babies, and dogs are just four-legged babies. 
“Please be as great as Luna said,” you whisper before returning your attention to the research before you.
✯✯✯✯✯
“Yeah, I texted her. We’re meeting at an outdoor café tonight,” Tim says before Wade can ask. “But if I don’t like her or if Kojo doesn’t like her, I’m going to keep looking.”
“Got it,” Wade answers. “But you’ve got more double shifts in your future, so don’t take too long trying to find a ‘perfect’ dog walker.”
Tim nods, hoping he can find a way out of letting a stranger into his house to take care of his dog. He checked your name, and your business seems legitimate, but there’s no way of knowing. Luckily, he and Kojo are both excellent judges of character.
✯✯✯✯✯
Luna sent you a picture of Kojo, and you spot him immediately. The man sitting beside him, though, is breathtakingly handsome. You’re shocked that he doesn’t have female neighbors and friends lining up at his door, offering to take care of Kojo (and him). 
“Hi, Mr. Bradford?” you ask.
Kojo looks up at you and pants, his tail slapping against Tim’s leg.
“Yes. Nice to meet you,” Tim replies, offering his hand.
Shaking his hand, you glance down at Kojo. When Tim releases his grip, you squat and extend your hand for Kojo to sniff. He flips your hand up with his snout, stepping closer to you.
“I’m sure Luna told you that I’m a cop,” Tim continues, drawing your attention away from Kojo.
You sit beside him, lowering a hand to pat Kojo’s head. “She did, sir.”
“Then you know that if anything were to happen to my house during or after your visit, I could very easily charge you with any number of crimes. And I won’t tell you what I would do if something happened to Kojo while under your care.”
You can’t tell if his threat is legitimate, so you nod in understanding.
“Yes, sir, I understand. Kojo’s safety, and your home, of course, are of the utmost importance and I will do everything I can to do right by both of you.”
Tim nods, watching Kojo for a moment. “You’re good with him. He’s not always so welcoming with strangers; scared one of my girlfriends away once. So, I’m going to give you a chance.”
“Amazing. Thank you, sir. I promise you won’t regret it.”
“What do we need to do to get started?”
“I can offer you a few days free, as a trial run. And if you still want to keep me on afterward, we can discuss payment, sir.”
“That’s unnecessary. I need someone to take care of Kojo and you seem to be the best fit.”
“Okay. Then I will email you a link to create a client account and my website has a portal to pay. Luna mentioned that you work overnight sometimes, so if you needed me to do later or earlier visits, I can do that too, sir.”
“Sounds good.”
Tim stands, wiping his hand on his jeans before offering his hand again.
“Nice to meet you and I look forward to your email.”
“You, too. And thank you.”
Petting Kojo once more, you smile before walking away. You didn’t expect him to be so attractive, so you have to remember that he clarified you’re his dogwalker, and he doesn’t even really want a dogwalker.
Determined to make him see the benefits of someone caring for Kojo, you add him to your schedule before he even pays you. Money is no longer a concern; you’re already in love with Kojo, and now, you need to focus on not falling for his owner, too.
✯✯✯✯✯
“What’d you think about her? I know you hired her, but what’d you think personally?” Luna asks, standing in Wade’s office.
Tim shrugs. “She’s very polite. Seems driven, hard-working, responsible.”
“Well, now that you’ve read her resumé, have anything else to add?”
Tim doesn’t answer, and Wade guesses, “She makes you nervous?”
“A little.”
“What?” Luna exclaims. “She’s the sweetest!”
“Not like that, Luna,” Wade interjects. “Someone wasn’t expecting a pretty dog walker.”
“Oh. Tim Bradford, I wasn’t sure you still had it in you.”
“She is taking care of Kojo. Yes, she is beautiful, but this won’t go any farther than a business agreement.”
“Care to bet on that?” Wade asks.
“No,” Tim answers before leaving and closing the door behind him.
✯✯✯✯✯
“Hey, Kojo, Kojo,” you call, entering Tim’s house with the key he had made for you.
Kojo’s nails click on the flooring, rushing to greet you.
“Hey, buddy. You miss your dad? I bet you do.”
As you slide Kojo’s harness over his front legs, he licks your face, and you laugh, scratching his chest before standing to connect his leash. Kojo has quickly become your favorite dog. You visit several throughout the day, but Kojo is the sweetest and the most handsome.
When you return to Tim’s side door, it’s standing open. You know that you closed and locked it, so you pull Kojo’s leash tight, stepping back as you prepare to run.
“It’s just me!” Tim yells from inside. “Sorry, my hands were full, and I couldn’t close the door.”
Sighing in relief, you lead Kojo inside, closing the door behind you and locking it instinctually.
“Honey, we’re home!” you call.
Tim freezes in the kitchen at your teasing, borderline flirtatious tone. You remove Kojo’s leash and harness and put it away, following him as he runs toward Tim.
“Why are you home so early?” you ask.
“I worked all night,” Tim answers. “Thought you’d feel my absence through our connection.”
You chuckle at Tim’s flirting. After the second meeting, it became much easier to talk to him. Interestingly enough, Tim started the flirtatious tendencies. You tend to stick to business-related topics, but sometimes it feels like you’re just two friends – maybe more – and you forget you’re just his dog walker.
“Everything go okay at work, sir? Kojo, for one, had a great day.”
Tim says your name, a sigh more than anything. “I told you a week ago to stop calling me sir.”
“Sorry, sir- Tim.”
Tim looks away suddenly, turning his attention to the bags he carried inside while you were walking Kojo.
“Did you even wonder where Kojo was?” you ask.
“No. I know his dog walker is punctual… and a control freak.”
“Planning my day doesn’t make me a control freak!”
“You have it planned to the minute.”
“To accommodate you,” you grumble.
“Yet you won’t let me take you on a date.”
“You won’t ask.”
You fall silent, and when you think you took it too far, Kojo barks and makes you both laugh. Talking to Tim is easy, but no matter how much you love Kojo or think you could be more, you must keep everything in perspective. Tim is older, a police sergeant and you are his college student dog walker.
✯✯✯✯✯
“Hello?” you ask, answering your phone and rubbing your eyes as you look away from the computer screen.
“Hey,” Tim says. “I’m so sorry for the late notice but I’m going to be here overnight. Could you-“
“I’ll go over now.”
“Listen, it’s crazy out there right now. If you want to stay there, please do. I don’t want you out more than you have to be.”
“Tim, that’s not necessary.”
“Please. It’s not just for your safety; I’ll feel better knowing that you’re somewhere safe.”
“Okay,” you reply. “As long as you’re sure.”
“I’m insisting. Kojo is a cuddler, but that’s all you have to fear there.”
“Oh, you should have started with that. Kojo cuddles sound amazing.”
“Long day?”
“Not as long as yours. I’ll text you when I get there. Thank you, Tim.”
“Thank you. I’ll be back in the morning.”
“See you then.”
The drive to Tim’s house is short, but you hear several police sirens. Whatever they’re dealing with does seem (as Tim put it) crazy. Once you’re inside and the alarm is reset, you collapse on the couch and let Kojo cuddle up to you. You feel weirdly close to Tim, too, probably from being in his house. Falling asleep here is easy; you’re at peace, happy, and cuddled by a warm, loving dog.
✯✯✯✯✯
Waking up is not quite as peaceful. Tim is taking a picture, and when you grunt, he lowers the phone and smiles.
“That’s adorable,” he states.
“I’m quitting,” you murmur, throwing an arm over Kojo.
“You know, he didn’t even come see me when I got home? He’s a cheater, although I can’t blame him. It does look pretty comfortable.”
Ignoring him, you move closer to Kojo.
“Consider this my two hours’ notice.”
Tim chuckles, and the couch dips by your feet as he sits. When you sit up, he’s leaning back with his eyes closed.
“Are you okay?” you ask.
“Yeah, just tired.”
“Well, I’ll get out of your way so you can rest. Need me to come back later?”
“No, I’m here all day. If you want to stay, you can.”
“I have a paper to finish,” you lament. “But I appreciate it.”
“Anytime.” You’re gathering your things when Tim reiterates, “Seriously. You’re always welcome here.”
“Thank you. I’ll see you later.”
“Drive safe.”
✯✯✯✯✯
It’s cloudy in Los Angeles, like a bad omen. You’re considering taking Tim’s offer of staying at his house to work. Kojo is the last dog you visit, and you look down at him as he sniffs the base of a streetlight.
“Mind if I stay with you for the rest of the day?” you ask him.
Kojo’s tail wags faster, but he’s still more interested in the light than you.
“Sounds like a plan.”
Kojo picks his head up, continuing toward the corner as you lead him down the sidewalk. You see something move up the road and command Kojo to stop. Unsure if it’s a dog or some other animal, you wait a moment before walking again.
With your attention on the unknown shadow before you, you fail to hear a dog running up behind you. Kojo turns suddenly, and you don’t register what’s happening as you push him out of the way.
Another dog, about Kojo’s size, with no leash or owner in sight, is on top of you. Kojo is barking, trying to help, but you yell at him to stay back.
“Kojo, sit!” you yell over the other dog’s growling.
Your yell turns to a cry of pain when the dog’s jaw clamps down on your arm, his claws digging into your side.
“Get off!” you yell, your adrenaline giving you the strength to push back. 
Once you’re sitting up, you use your legs to free yourself from the dog’s grip. Kojo is behind you, unharmed, and you need to keep it that way. Flipping yourself on top of the dog, it releases your arm before moving its legs wildly, raking a paw across your face as it tries to move away.
“Go!” you yell harshly, moving enough to let it up.
Stomping your foot after it, you show the dog you’re in charge and wait in front of Kojo until it’s out of sight.
“Kojo, we have to go,” you say quickly, grabbing his leash and limping behind him as he leads you home.
Kojo focuses on getting you inside, and when you close the door and fall to the floor, he moves to your side. He whimpers, and you want to comfort him, but you are growing dizzy.
“You okay, boy?” you mumble.
You scream in pain when you raise your hand to check that Kojo is okay. After dropping your arm, your breathing grows shallow as tears stream down your face. Kojo whines again, and you want to reach for your phone, but your arms feel too heavy to move. Looking down, you suddenly realize the severity of what happened. Covered in blood and with no strength to call for help, you whisper an apology to Kojo and let your eyes drift close.
✯✯✯✯✯
Tim sighs as he turns onto his street. He’s ready to see Kojo and, if he’s lucky, you. When Tim sees your car in the driveway, he smiles and rushes toward the door. That happiness quickly disappears when he notices the trail of blood leading up the driveway. Walking to the sidewalk, he sees that it leads nearly to the corner. Racing to the backdoor, which has a large blood smear below a clear handprint, Tim keeps a hand on his gun as he unlocks the door.
Kojo’s whimpering greets Tim, and when he looks down, he sees that Kojo has blood on him. Kojo looks over quickly, and Tim follows his movement. Whatever fear he felt when he saw the blood on Kojo is multiplied when he sees you.
Pulling his phone from his pocket, Tim calls for an ambulance before kneeling beside you.
“Is Kojo okay?” you ask weakly.
“He’s okay,” Tim promises, leaning closer in a poor attempt to find the source of your blood. “What hurts?”
“What doesn’t? Did you check on Kojo? He seemed okay but I couldn’t make sure the blood was mine.”
Tim turns, running his hands all over Kojo. The blood is only on his fur, evidently not his.
“He’s fine,” Tim repeats, his voice breaking at the end. “You are not.”
“There was a dog free running and I- I didn’t see it. Kojo stayed behind me so I need him to be okay.”
Tears are running down your face again, mixing with the blood. Tim wants to wipe them away, but the clear claw mark over your cheek deters him.
“There’s an ambulance on the way, you’re going to be okay.”
“I’m sorry, Tim.”
“Don’t you dare apologize. Just stay awake.”
“Kojo- Kojo’s a good boy,” you mumble.
“He is. Can you please keep your eyes on me? The ambulance is almost here.”
You nod, and the last thing you remember is Tim’s apologetic look and a painful pressure on your side.
✯✯✯✯✯
“Tim, are you coming with?” Bailey asks.
Tim is staring at the bloodstain on his floor and up his wall. “I’ll be there soon.”
“We’ll keep you updated. She’ll be okay.”
Tim nods and waits for the EMTs to exit the house before he begins cleaning. He scrubs until every trace of your blood is erased from inside and on the door. After animal control captured the dog, several officers went out to find the dog's owner. Nolan promised to come by and clean the driveway, so Tim concentrated his efforts inside.
“Alright, Kojo, our turn,” Tim calls, letting Kojo into the bathroom to remove the blood from his fur. 
After Tim cleans Kojo and himself and throws away the blood-stained rags and cleaning supplies, he gathers his things to visit you in the hospital.
“I’ll be back with our girl,” Tim promises Kojo as he leaves.
✯✯✯✯✯
“I’m sorry.” You can’t stop the apology when Tim walks in.
“Stop apologizing. You kept that dog away from Kojo and I don’t- I can’t lose you. I walked in and you were covered in blood… I should have told you before that I care about you.”
“It’s my job to take care of Kojo,” you whisper.
Tim moves to the side of the bed, gently taking your hand. “You are not just a dog walker. I’ve been falling for you since the moment I laid eyes on you. The fact that you love Kojo solidified it for me.”
“I- I have feelings for you too,” you admit.
“They told me your pretty face won’t scar.”
“I barely even remember what happened.”
Tim sits beside your legs as he tells you, “Nolan and Celina arrested the dog’s owner. It wasn’t the first time he had done this.”
“Given a poor, unsuspecting college student thirty stitches while she’s just trying to spend the afternoon in her crush’s house? Oddly specific crime. What’s the code for that?”
Tim chuckles, gently squeezing your hand. “You can go home now. If you’re still up to spend some time in your crush’s house.”
“Tim-“
“Don’t tell me I don’t have to. I want to, need to.”
“I would love to spend time with you and Kojo. But I’m not sure I’m up for flirting today, handsome.”
“After the day you’ve had, just sit back and I’ll do all the flirting.”
“’Preciate that, sir.”
Tim laughs as he exits the room to complete your discharge paperwork. You smile behind him, hoping you’re not dreaming, and you finally told him how you feel.
✯✯✯✯✯
“Kojo,” Tim chides. “Give her some room.”
“You cleaned all the blood?”
Tim gently directs your eyes to him, leaning close to remind you, “You’re more than just a dog walker. Worth the time, the effort, the love, all of it.”
“Love?”
“Yeah. Kojo really loves you.”
You laugh, quickly remembering that you have several stitches on your side.
“Careful,” Tim requests.
“Are you certified to help someone sit still while stitches hold their side closed?” you ask.
“Depends on the patient. You? Absolutely.”
Tim helps you get comfortable on the couch before walking to the kitchen to gather some water and snacks. When he returns, Kojo is cuddled up to your uninjured side.
“Really? Again?” Tim asks.
“I love you,” you say, completely distracting Tim as he kneels before you. “But I also think I really want to quit this time.”
Tim laughs, leaning forward to kiss your forehead. “That’s fine. I am looking for a girlfriend rather than a dog walker now anyway.”
“Care to see my resumé?”
“Memorized it last time.”
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barryroyco · 3 months
Text
“why did wilson say he loved amber so soon” well… why wouldn’t he? it’s not her he really feels it for anyway. it’s house. he knows he loves house, and once he finds him in amber, why wouldn’t he be able to say it?
it’s implied that wilson is a bit of a flirt with the women at the hospital. but he jumps head first into that real, committed relationship with amber. he could only ever have felt so comfortable to the extent we saw him get with amber because he was projecting onto her what he wanted with house. their relationship wasn’t that great: i.e. water bed ep. but better than the others we see because she was the attainable version of what he wanted.
when she dies, we feel that grief because he did like amber as a person for sure, but he’s losing the only woman he actually felt he could feel something for. how do we know that it’s all still, at it’s root, love for house?
wilson goes off and hilson have their breakup and whatnot. but as soon as he and house come back together, what does he do? he invokes amber to pull a prank on house.
when they finally resolve that tension and go back to being “friends,” there’s such a sense of relief from both of them. we see a similar thing play out between them when house and cuddy break up. wilson marches into cuddy’s office and yells at her for leaving him (despite her valid reasons)—what does that tell us? he would never leave house. he accepts him for who he is and strives to make him better but doesn’t leave him (for good, anyway) when he fails. AKA, in the end, it’ll always be them. nothing could possibly tear them apart. and any relationship they attempt is doomed to fail because they’re… well. they’re each other’s foils. they’ve ruined each other for the rest of the world and they make sure to keep it that way because they wouldn’t want it any other way.
so, yeah, wilson said i love you too soon to amber. but, to be fair to him, it had been boiling up for about fifteen years.
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