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homosociallyyours · 2 years

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hi this is kinda random but i just wanted to share my piece on this and i’ve seen you talk about it before so i thought this would be a good place. i’ve been seeing so much blatant misogyny and ageism around here lately and it’s really taken a toll on me. like no matter how much you try to justify it as a moral thing, if you spend your days calling olivia wilde a cunt, narcissistic asshole, bitch, and talking shit about her age you ARE being misogynist. you’re not obligated to like her. i personally am not the biggest olivia wilde fan. a little background story, i was obsessed with booksmart when it came out, so as we often do with micro obsessions i deep dived into all things involving the movie, and that of course included olivia. i watched all the press interviews, read all the print ones, and i thought she was awesome. but as a trans lesbian, i always tend to search for celebrities’ stances on those issues before i start to actively support them and their work. not because i want or need celebrities to be activists, i just need to know they’re not assholes about things that are important to me. and that was when i found olivia’s comments about considering considered “a soft kind of lesbian relationship, just gentle kissing and scissoring” when she was lonely after the end of her first marriage, and not using too much make up because she can easily “go tranny” and the overall brand of trans-exclusionary and overly simplistic white feminism she stands for, and that of course was really hurtful and disappointing to me at the time. but still, i will NEVER ever sit around calling her names and talk about her with so much vitriol like most people around here do while intentionally digging up things from her past to try and make that behaviour somehow justifiable because people don’t want to admit how misogynistic and hateful they really are. but just an fyi, we can see right through it and not only is your deep rooted hatred for women crystal clear, but this rage against beards also makes you look str*ight lmao

Hello nonny!! As you may or may not know I'm a big fan of tea and this is like a steaming pot of Yorkshire Gold, so thank you♡

I know that posting this might upset some friends and mutuals, but i think everything you've said is so important and should be heard. I love everyone i follow, even if i don't agree with their stances on everything, and am not shy about having direct conversations about a thing that bothers me instead of indirecting folks or sending anons, so hopefully anyone who disagrees here will do the same.

I think in particular i really feel you on talking about Olivia's particular brand of white feminism, in large part bc it's one of the more common reasons given by people talking about how much they hate her. Your statements are accurate; she has said some things that lead me to mistrust her politically and that feel very deeply entrenched in cis white privilege. She also seems to vibe pretty hard with a lot of pretentious white male auteurs (she recently reposted stuff about John Cassavetes, for example), and in my experience i just. Don't gel with people who do that.

HOWEVER the thing that always gets me is that Harry presents some of the very same white feminist tendencies, albeit, frankly, worse than Olivia? I love him, but he repeats earnest yet empty platitudes about not letting anyone tell you what to do with your body and donates $. It's nothing award worthy, and although i do appreciate that he wants to be careful what he puts his voice behind, it means that he actually says/boosts very little.

I know people dismiss it as performative activism, but i do actually think that celebrities sharing links to resources can be really helpful. Just to use the most current thing that comes to mind, Harry sharing a link to abortion funds (as Olivia did) would've gotten a message about their existence to a lot of people. A message of support isn't nothing, but it's certainly not evidence of top tier feminism.

I think if i saw more critique of Harry's (or any 1D member's) politics from the "i hate her for her white feminism" crowd, i would feel differently. But as it is, it appears that women are held to a high standard while men get the bar set on the ground and a medal if they trip over it 😬

Also, I wish more people understood that you don't actually have to give reasons for disliking someone! Olivia doesn't have to be a narcissist or have terrible politics for you to hate her. It's fine to just... Not like her. And then maybe not talk about her? Not joke about her violent death. Not make fun of the way she looks (she's ugly because she's a bad person/she's way too old to wear/do that thing so I'm gonna laugh at her).

Set misogyny aside for a second if you've got to-- it's just a horrible way to behave toward anyone, and the target (Olivia) is too distant to be hit by the negativity anyway. Instead those comments can end up hurting the people who read them and making them self conscious. For what?

It's not a popular opinion, but i personally view the beards in a generally positive way at the moment. I choose to believe that Harry and Louis have talked through what they want and made some decisions about how to handle their images. This isn't 2014/15 anymore, and the young men who I think did very much want to come out back then are in massively different places in their careers. There's no road map for an ex-boybander coming out and being successful. There are very few examples of successful solo artists who came out early in their careers and continued to find success afterwards. Harry and Louis are navigating an extremely difficult path, whether they're working toward coming out or not. I don't envy that aspect of their lives.

I think it's likely that the women who Harry and Louis are seen with were chosen (by them!) for reasons that i can't or won't be able to see/understand right now. And as I've said before, there is literally no woman in existence who could be liked as a beard in this fandom. No set of behaviors will lead to people not critiquing these women, and that's evidenced by searching tags on some of the blogs who talk loudest about the beards. (Spoiler alert: not one of them has been palatable if she stuck around for more than a couple days!)

And that's the real sign to me that unfortunately this is misogyny at work. If you can name more women associated with 1D who you hate/dislike than women associated with 1D you do like, why is that? How do you feel about it? Is that reflected in your other social circles or interests? Jamila Jameel asked a similar question on her Instagram a few years back and absolutely changed my perspective on misogyny. Would love it if that could happen throughout this fandom.

#long post #1d #on fandom #i don't wanna tag this as discourse but that's probably what it is #fandom misogyny #stunt mention #bearding #it's ok if you wanna unfollow me for this folks i know it feels bad to read critique that feels pointed #but pls know this isn't directed at a single blog/blogs #it's something pervasive in this fandom that has bothered me more and more over the years #also bc i feel like it'll happen: you are welcome to call me a white feminist-- i am white and a feminist and #i do not consider my feminism above criticism #i do my best to think about intersectionality and to de-center myself when it comes to politics #but i also know i don't succeed sometimes so. yeah. absolutely ready for that criticism here

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thelonesomequeen · 7 months

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Have any of you running the blog ever have someone in the family who excelled at just sweeping extraneous time wasting material off to the side (like the fandom fake wedding/fake drugs/fake PR fodder)--out of sight out of mind style and focusing on the topics that are adjacent to the industry? (like my mother the way she does when I try and distract her about grandbaby talk).

If so, can we talk about awards season which will be here before we know it? Ignoring the actual hardware, who do y'all think is going to bring it fashion wise? Who is going to be THE interview? Do you think the strikes will be resolved in the next two months before fourth quarter earnings? I completely get this is a Chris Evans centric blog but you have always been willing to entertain the 'extra' cherry on the sundae discussions. I know it seems early, but honestly with the strike I'm desperate for something that is at least film/industry related and bless his heart Chris is probably getting busy as a newlywed so.....

*I pinky swear I'm not trolling but the drug talk really was upsetting from a 'how would anyone know this to be true that hasn't actually met the man' perspective'....I know it's a minority of the fandom but wow, it's just the head shaking wonder of it all. I saw an actual timeline that was qanon worthy in its minutiae of detail and that's ten minutes of my life that will never return....thanks for all that you do to keep the peace.

Yeeeees! I love chatting award season! Although I have to admit I’m SO far behind on keeping up with potential contenders. Usually in late summer/early fall I always put together a big spread sheet of movies that are potential awards contenders with their release dates and if it’ll be theatrical or streaming, plus the categories I think it could fall under. It’s a big thing but it helps me keep track of what I need/want to watch as I go. I’ve just been really busy this fall and never got around to making that list yet 😂

I really hope the strike ends soon, because I’d love to listen to some people talk about their work. Yes, I want to see the fun interviews like a lot of us hoped to see with Chris and Emily Blunt or Chris and The Rock, but I’d also love to see insightful conversations around movies like Killers of the Flower Moon. Lily Gladstone has been trending on my twitter page for the last 3 days and I’d just love to get to hear her talk about the film making process, but also what her success and the praise she’s receiving means to her. I can’t imagine being excited that you’re being recognized for your work paired with the disappointment of not being able to talk about it at all. It’s a bummer to see people miss the opportunity to get to talk about their work. I really hope the strike is resolved soon, but I’ll be curious to see what happens with award season going forward if it isn’t. It makes me wonder if they’ll postpone or even cancel the awards?

I’ve still not seen Barbie and Oppenheimer (I know, I know 😭) but I’m also dying to see Killers of the Flower Moon, Napoleon, Maestro, The Color Purple, and The Bikeriders. And that’s just off the top of my head. I know I’m missing plenty of other movies that are very promising. What about you? Which movies are you most looking forward to? 🦎

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star-trekkin-across-theuniverse · 3 years

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Worthy, pt 1 & 2

I stopped and stared up at the building in front of me. Imposing, huge, and a beacon for anyone concerned with clean energy. I had won the internship at Stark Industries research and development division by working my ass off all year, coming up with innovative and exciting ways to utilize the arc reactor technology. I’d been interviewed by Mr. Stark himself when it came time to award the position. I’d never been so excited to work in an unpaid position in my life. It was made all the better by being in New York City. And even more awesome because accommodation was provided in the tower. Even if the internship didn’t lead to permanent employment at Stark Industries after my sojourn there, it would be a resume jackpot.

I stopped at the main security desk and picked up my passcard. Elizabeth Carmichael. It sounded much more glamourous than Ella did, but I’d never been called Elizabeth in my entire life. Always Ella, except from my Nan, who called me Bethy. I clipped the tag on my blouse and headed to the elevator. The email from the HR department had been clear: pick up your passcard, and report to the main office of R&D on the 55th floor. I pressed the button and waited for the elevator to close. A hand reached in to stop the door and Mr. Stark stepped in. He smiled, like he would to anyone he shared the elevator with, and then his eyes narrowed as he read my nametag.

“Ms. Carmichael! You’ve made it to the city then? Where are your bags? Are you not staying on site?” He spoke so fast I could barely follow him.

“My flight arrived late last night. I thought I would stay at a hotel overnight and then get organized to move into my room, sir.” I felt breathless just trying to keep up with his speech, and rushed through my own explanation.

“We’ll send someone to collect your things. We’re having a little social in the lounge tonight; you don’t want to miss it. Good networking opportunities. There are three of you that earned internships. Pepper was particularly excited about you. Not a lot of women in STEM, you know. So we’re having a meet and greet for the three of you. Mostly Stark staff, but there'll be some others in attendance. Angela will get you organized.” There was even information stored in the nuances of how he spoke. It was going to be overwhelming until I got used to it. If I got the chance to get used to it. This elevator interaction might be the last time I saw Mr. Stark for the rest of the summer. The elevator doors opened, and I stepped out into the bright, clean research and development administrative office. I waited at the desk while the woman sitting there was on a call. Her nameplate said Angela, so I suspected she was who Mr. Stark said would organize me.

“Ella, right?” She swivelled her chair to face me. I nodded. “I’ve already contacted the concierge at your hotel to have your belongings sent over. I’ll show you to your rooms at the end of your orientation and tour. Then you can get settled.”

“I won’t be working?” I was surprised.

“Not today. Today is all about the Stark Industries machine and how you fit into it. So orientation to the labs, meet some of the people you’ll be working under, settling into your suite and figuring out your way around. There’s a meet and greet tonight.” She typed something into her computer and then rose. Without waiting for me, she headed off down a hallway. “This is the administrative floor for Research and Development. R&D takes twenty floors here, from 55 to 75. Starting at the 76th floor, the Avengers Tower begins, and you’ll only end up there if Mr. Stark wants to meet with you. Well, and for the mixer tonight. The 56th and 57th floors are all housing. Our guest scientists are housed on 56 and your suite is on 57. The project you’ve been assigned to is an offshoot of the household arc reactor project, and will allow you to work on one of your proposals. That division is on 60 through 65. Your direct supervisor is Markus Reid.” I scrambled to scribble notes and keep up with her and she led me through a maze of hallways and offices. We finally came to a halt and I was so busy scratching notes into my notebook that I bumped into her.

“Oh, god. Sorry,” I apologized. She smiled and shook her head.

“Relax, Ella. You were the top candidate. Your proposals rocked Mr. Stark and Ms. Potts' socks off. You belong here,” she reassured me. “And I’m going to email all this info to you, so you can put away your notebook.”

“Thanks. I’m feeling a bit small right now,” I admitted.

“The first few days are very overwhelming for every Stark Industries employee. It’s why we schedule nothing work-related on the first day.” She knocked on a door and hesitated just a second before opening it. “I have Elizabeth Carmichael here to sign some paperwork.” She led me into the office, and sat in a chair near the door after pointing to a chair at the desk. Another woman smiled and dropped a sheaf of paper in front of me.

“The bottom half of that is the paperwork for you that explains everything in the top half. But this is a basic non-disclosure agreement. The second one is the follow up to the initial waiver you signed when you applied for the internship, giving proprietary rights to Stark Industries, while maintaining your intellectual property, authorship and development rights. That basically means if what you’re working on goes into production, it will be a Stark Industries product, but you will be credited as the inventor. There’s some tax paperwork and a release for your university.” The woman handed me a pen. I looked up at her while I tried to process everything she’d explained.

“Tax paperwork?”

“For your pay.”

“Oh, I’m here for the internship. I’m not paid.” I thought that would be clear to an HR person.

“No, Mr. Stark pays his interns. It makes the transition when you are hired easier,” she explained.

“What?”

“Did you not read your acceptance package?” She gave me a look that suggested she thought I might be stupid.

“I did. It suggested that if Stark Industries was happy with my performance, I could be offered an extension at the end of the internship, provided my degree was complete.” At least, that’s what I’d understood from reading it.

“And you’ve already provided transcripts showing you’ve finished both your bachelor’s and master’s degrees. There were only three internships offered, Ms. Carmichael. We complete all your paperwork now with the assumption that you will be staying on at Stark Industries. If you’ve passed our rigorous application process, we feel you are a keeper. If you choose not to stay, it will be because you chose not to stay,” She explained. I felt like the wind had been knocked out of me. I knew the internship was prestigious, but I didn’t realize exactly how incredible it was.

“Oh. Well. In that case,” I said and scratched my signature across the papers in front of me. She offered her hand. I stood and shook it.

“Welcome to Stark Industries, Ms. Carmichael.”

XXX

The rest of the day passed in a blur. Angela assured me that her email would include maps, and secret notes and tidbits that would help me remember everything, but I was so floored from the words of the HR person that I really couldn’t focus. Angela led me to the commissary for lunch and ordered for both of us. I didn’t even realize until she handed me a tray with food on it.

“Are you going to be okay?” She asked. I gave my head a little shake to snap back to reality and smiled in apology.

“Sorry. I’m feeling even more overwhelmed than I was when I got out of the cab this morning,” I laughed. She took a seat at a table and nodded for me to sit across from her.

“You should give yourself some credit. You earned your place here. Pepper is really excited about having you. I suspect you’ll be the poster child for gender equality at Stark Industries for some time to come. As soon as you won that internship, your place here was secured. Probably for life,” she grinned. I shook my head.

“What if I’m a dud?”

“You aren’t though. Mr. Stark himself thoroughly vetted your application, and Pepper went through your references with a fine tooth comb. She even tracked down extra references. You deserve this more than anyone who’s ever applied before, Ella.”

“I feel like I might be sick,” I groaned. It was her turn to shake her head.

“It’s first day jitters. Once you’ve settled into a routine and have your nose into all that sciencey stuff you do, it’ll all blow over,” She laughed. I didn’t want to pick a fight so I just focussed on my lunch.

XXX

My suite was ridiculous. I’d understood we’d be provided with a room. In my mind, I had thought dormitory style, like at university. I was quickly learning Tony Stark did nothing by halves. I had a suite. First of all, the whole thing was fully furnished. The master bedroom had the biggest bed I’d ever seen in it, and an ensuite bathroom with a shower bigger than my last dorm room. There was a second bedroom, I’m not sure why. Plus an office, an open floor plan living room and kitchen and a main bathroom. There was a storage closet that I’m pretty sure could have kept a small family comfortable. And a deck with a view of the city. I opened the fridge and discovered it had been fully stocked already. I grabbed a bottle of water and stood at the counter, the overwhelming feeling of just too much washing across me again. There was a bound book on the counter, and when I flipped through it, I realized it was a Stark Tower lifestyle guide, with information about the pool, the gym, the on-site movie theatre, the commissary, and on and on. There was a tablet on the wall that allowed you to order in take-away or groceries. Housekeeping was once a week. I pinched myself to make sure it wasn’t a dream, fully expecting to awaken back in the dorm room at the university. But I didn’t.

I unpacked my bags and checked my email for the details on the get together. Casual evening wear. What was that, even? I grabbed my phone and texted Angela. Whether she liked it or not, she was my new bestie.

“What does casual evening wear mean?”

“Nothing too fancy. Knee length dress is more appropriate than floor length.”

“I’ve been in university for the last nine years. I have nothing even remotely appropriate.”

“I’m on it. I’ll meet you in the lobby.”

XXX

“I’m sorry, Angela, I just didn’t know who else to ask.” I felt like all I was doing was apologizing to her. She laughed.

“You’re my assignment for the next few weeks. And you are so much nicer than the last new hire I was paired with. I can see actually wanting to spend time with you,” she laughed.

“Really? You’re my personal person?” I arched an eyebrow. She laughed again.

“Something like that. Human Resources likes to pair someone from admin to new hires as an orientation guide. It’s a pretty awesome job, to be honest. I get to meet most of the new people on their way in the door. Make lots of new friends. Meet lots of cute science nerd guys.” She winked. I laughed.

“And yet you don’t mind being assigned me. I must be very special indeed,” I teased.

“You’re little lost puppy eyes sucked me right in,” she giggled. “Come on, let’s get you a dress.” It felt like she dragged me all over town, but the truth was, we didn’t go far, and we only visited a couple of stores. I tried on everything she brought to me, and let her tell me what looked best. I was most comfortable in jeans, a t-shirt and a lab coat, so I trusted her judgement. We were a whirlwind of activity after picking the dress. She steered me over to a shoe store, and then a make-up store. I didn’t even realize there was such a thing as a make-up store. I only kept mascara in my bathroom because my eyelashes were so light you couldn’t see them without a bit of mascara on them.

When we finally got back to the building, I wanted nothing more than to take a nap. Angela shooed me into the shower and ordered us some dinner instead. She helped me with my hair and then sat me down to eat.

“Do you wear contacts ever?” She asked. I pushed my glasses up my nose and shook my head.

“No, they don’t make contacts for eyes like mine,” I admitted.

“Okay. I can work with that,” she looked at me thoughtfully and chewed on her pizza. Before I knew it, she was rearranging my hair, and applying make-up and amazingly, although I’d honestly never thought I’d enjoy the fuss that went along with dressing up, I did enjoy myself. It helped that Angela kept a running commentary of exclamations about how pretty I was, and how nice my eyes were. I never had thought there was anything particularly special about my brown hair and brown eyes. I changed my mind when Angela let me look in the mirror. My hair was loose and wavy, and cascaded over my shoulders. The red dress she’d found for me highlighted that my hair was more than one shade of brown, and brought out the natural glow in my cheeks. My eyes, despite being framed behind my glasses, looked big and sparkly.

“Wow.”

“You’ll have half the R&D guys begging for your number by the end of the night!” Angela laughed. I blushed.

“I don’t know about that,” I protested. She laughed again.

“Come on. I’ll be your wingman.” She linked arms with me and led me out the door and to the elevator. XXX

The crushing feeling of inadequacy hit me again as the elevator opened up to let us out into the cocktail party. I hesitated at the gap between the elevator and the large, noisy room. Angela gave me a gentle nudge, but I froze, taking in the panorama in front of me. Almost every scientist I’d ever quoted in any of my research was standing in that room, mingling with one another. When Tony Stark isn’t the biggest name in a room, it can make you pause. I’m pretty sure I recognized the most recent recipient of the Nobel Prize in physics standing by the bar. And Dr. Banner was lingering near the door to the patio and pool deck, looking exceptionally uncomfortable. At least he was near an exit where he could cool off and relax if he needed to. His research was what drove me into the sciences. In the end, I decided gamma radiation wasn’t really the area I was passionate about, and pursued research that put me in Stark’s path. But he was still kinda my hero.

“If you don’t step off this elevator right now, I’m going to push you off, and then you’ll draw a lot more attention to yourself than if you act like a normal person.” Angela had my number already. I stepped into the party tentatively. Angela steered me straight to the bar. “Let’s get a drink into you, loosen you up a little. These people have all been where you are, Ella. What’s your poison?”

“Vodka, rocks.” My eyes were glued to the room, and I just kept recognizing more and more people. Surely they all didn’t work for Stark Industries. I would have noticed that at some point during my application process. Mr. Stark and Ms. Potts saw me as Angela handed me my drink. Ms. Potts smiled in welcome and headed straight to me. I didn’t have time to panic.

“Ms. Carmichael! I’m so pleased to see you. You look a bit like a canary in a room of cats. Don’t. They’re all harmless. And some of them are very excited to discuss your proposals with you,” she took my hand and squeezed it familiarly. It was not at all like my boss was shaking my hand, but more like a friend greeting me.

“It’s nice to see you again, Ms. Potts.” I managed, and took a sip from my glass.

“Please, Pepper is fine. We’ll reserve the formality for press releases,” she smiled. “Are you settling into your rooms?”

“I am. They’re much more than I was expecting. Everything about this internship is more than I was expecting,” I blurted. I was nervous enough that I took a perhaps-larger-than-it-should-have-been swallow from my glass and nearly choked.

“We’re so pleased you accepted, Ms. Carmichael,” Pepper gushed. “Really. I’m sure Angela has filled you in about the women in STEM initiative Stark Industries is backing.”

“If I’m going to call you Pepper, you’re going to have to call me Ella. Angela mentioned a little about it, but I didn’t realize there was an entire initiative.” The combination of vodka and talking shop with Pepper was starting to ease my nerves, and I could feel the tension starting to melt from my shoulders.

“We’re starting summer and weekend science and technology camps for girls. I’m hoping you’ll be able to find some time to work with me on promoting them. I think Angela has scheduled a meeting for us sometime in the next few days,” she explained.

“That would be really cool.” I took another sip. There wasn’t much left in my glass. I was going to need to slow down. Mr. Stark was watching the crowd, but I could tell that his head was in our conversation.

“I hope you’ll come out of your shell a little, Ms. Carmichael. You were vibrant during the interview process. I hope that wasn’t a one-off. It’ll be hard to sell STEM as cool with a mousy science nerd girl as the PR star.” He was suddenly back in the conversation full force. I flushed.

“Tony! It’s first-day nerves. We can’t all be the shiniest constellation in the sky all the time,” Pepper scolded him. “Don’t pay attention to him, Ella. Parties bring out the worst of his quirks.” The way she said it, I could almost see the air-quotes hanging in the air around the word quirks. I smiled.

“I promise you, Mr. Stark. I can be just as shiny as you need me to be when surrounded by young women. It’s when I’m in the presence of the likes of Dr. Banner and Dr. McCoy that I tend to get star-struck. And I think, did I see Reed Richards?” I found my voice. Mr. Stark smiled.

“Since we’re all making friends, you may as well call me Tony,” he allowed. “I make sure my best and brightest get a chance to meet the best and brightest.”

“As much as I appreciate the opportunity, it’s just a little overwhelming.” I felt it was only fair to be honest with them, since they were my employers. Pepper squeezed my hand again.

“I have no doubt, after speaking to your references, that you will be everything that we are looking for, Ella,” she reassured me. I took another sip from my glass, and Tony suddenly noticed it in my hand.

“Please tell me that’s not water. We have a strict no water at parties rule here at Stark Industries.” Mr. Stark took my glass away and finished what was left. He coughed and handed it back. “Oh, I think you’re going to fit in here quite well, Mouse.” Angela took the glass from me and got a fresh one from the bar. I reminded myself to go slow. There was no point in getting drunk in front of such an auspicious crowd on my first day.

Angela led me around to a number of people I would be working with, including my direct supervisor, Markus Reid. He shook my hand with enthusiasm and launched into a long-winded explanation of my project and how it would fit in with his project. I found myself lingering with him for longer than was probably necessary. He was passionate about his work with the arc reactor technology and he reminded me of my thesis supervisor, ready to help and happy to share whatever advances he had discovered. It was the lynchpin in making me settle for the evening. If my supervisor was excited to have me, no one else really mattered. Angela’s face lit up and she excused me from the conversation.

“Shut up. You are not going to believe this. I have someone to introduce to you!” She exclaimed. I followed her as she led me across the lounge and toward the windows overlooking the outside deck. I couldn’t figure out who she wanted me to meet, but the last person who’d been near where we were headed was Dr. Banner, and I was sure she’d seen him earlier. She slowed to a more dignified walk and led me to Dr. Banner. He was chatting with a petite brunette who looked familiar, but I couldn’t quite place her. Dr. Banner looked up and acknowledged Angela as he finished what he was saying to the other woman.

“Angela, you always walk with such purpose.” His tone was warm, and he gripped her hand with both of his. It was obvious from Angela’s relaxed posture that they’d worked with each other a few times.

“Comes with the job. This is Elizabeth Carmichael, one of the new interns here at Stark,” she introduced me. “Ella, this is Bruce Banner.” She paused and turned toward the woman. “And if I’m not mistaken, this is Dr. Jane Foster?” Dr. Banner shook my hand and nodded toward Dr. Foster.

“So pleased to meet you, Dr. Banner. It was your work that led me into the sciences.” I tried not to gush. I don’t think I was successful.

“Really? My understanding was that physics and engineering were your specialties,” he asked. My heart nearly stopped. He knew my areas of study. My science geek girl idol knew my specialties.

“I got really into green energy during my undergrad studies, and my focus switched,” I admitted.

“And my accident had nothing to do with that?” He raised an eyebrow. I laughed and realized that might not have been the best response. I bit back my smile and shook my head.

“Actually, no. Your accident happened when I was in first year, and I stuck with my studies as a minor. It was when it was time to begin my master’s that I felt I could do more good, with my level of knowledge, if I pursued green energy,” I explained. He looked thoughtful.

“And once again, Bruce, I point out that your accident has significantly less effect on the opinions of others than you think,” Dr. Foster jumped in, and offered her hand. I shook it. “Such a pleasure to meet you, Ella. Tony has been beside himself with excitement about your thesis. I think the other two interns might be getting the short end of the stick.”

“Except that there is no short end of the stick at Stark,” Banner argued. Dr. Foster laughed and nodded.

“It’s so true. I wish these internships had existed when I was struggling for funding.” she looked past my shoulder, distracted. I turned and followed her gaze until it lit on the most beautiful man I think I’d ever seen. He was tall, and blond, and broad, with a big smile and an equally large laugh. And from the way Dr. Foster was looking at him, I realized he must be Thor. “I didn’t realize he was going to be here.” The smile fell from her face.

“I’m sorry, Jane, I had no idea. Why would he be here? He’s not one of you sciencey types,” Angela apologized. Dr. Foster turned to me and shook my hand again.

“It was truly lovely to meet you, Ella. I look forward to watching your project. If you ever need anything, Angela can get you in touch with me. Even if it’s just a woman-to-woman bitchfest. We STEM ladies need to stick together.” She excused herself and made her way quickly to the elevator. Angela and I watched her as the elevator doors closed. I was disappointed, but turned back to Dr. Banner. He opened his mouth to say something, but was cut off by Thor stepping up to us.

“Banner, my friend! It has been too long since we’ve met. You look well!” Everything about Thor was big. He pulled Dr. Banner into one of those one-armed-man-hugs, his massive arms straining against the confines of his t-shirt. He towered over both of us. He released Dr. Banner and turned to Angela and I. If I looked anything like Angela did, I was gawking like a slack-jawed idiot. I nudged her gently and she closed her mouth.

“Ladies, it is well to make your acquaintance. I am Thor, of Asgard,” he introduced, taking my hand and kissing my knuckles. I raised an eyebrow and glanced at Angela.

“Ella Carmichael.” I couldn’t form any other words. There was just so much of him, and it was so close. I was completely star-struck in a way I’d never been about a fellow scientist. He took Angela’s hand.

“Angela Benett,” she breathed. I was so glad I wasn’t the only one on the verge of swooning. The man was truly a specimen. Banner cleared his throat, and I snapped my attention back over to the man who had arguably been the first crush of my science geeky heart.

“What brings you here, Thor?” he asked. Thor turned back to him and smiled his ridiculous, large, beautiful smile.

“I had need to speak to Tony. I’d not realized it was a celebration, or I would have come tomorrow. Twas not urgent,” he explained. “And I am afraid I have chased Jane from her colleagues.” There was regret in his tone. Things were obviously over with them, not merely bumpy or awkward.

“He said twas,” I whispered to Angela. She stifled a giggle. I’m not sure why it was so amusing, other than that I had finished my second vodka. I’m not sure what her excuse was; I knew she hadn’t been drinking. “I hope we’ll get a chance to talk more about what you’re studying now, Dr. Banner.” I had to excuse myself before I made an idiot of myself in front of Dr. Banner and Thor. Angela followed me to the deck. I stretched out on a deck chair and looked up at the sky. Stark Tower was so high that it seemed to be above the smog of the city. There was still loads of light pollution, but I was reassured that the stars were the same in New York City as they were at home in Washington. We sat quietly for a few minutes.

“Thanks for being my sidekick, Angela,” I sighed. “I don’t know if I’d have made it through the afternoon, let alone this evening, without your assistance.”

“Well, like I said, it’s my job. But paycheque aside, you’re alright, Ella,” she chuckled.

“I’m glad you think so. I don’t know if I can afford Stark wages to keep you as a friend.” Across the deck something caught my eye, and I slipped off my shoes to walk over to it. Angela must have seen it too because she followed curiously. It was the biggest damn hammer I’ve ever seen in my life, just sitting on a low table beside the pool. It was fancy, tooled with knotwork. I ran my hand over it. I wasn’t sure what it was made of. It had the warm feel of vibranium, but it almost seemed to hum under my hand. I slid my hand up the leather wrapped handle. The grip was comfortable. I squeezed the handle, and felt the give of the leather wrap against my hand.

“I don’t know if you should be playing with that, Ella,” Angela warned.

“What do you suppose it is? It feels like it’s got more of a purpose than just a giant paperweight, or decoration,” I thought out loud, flexing my fingers along the handle. It felt like it needed to be held. I might not be describing that properly, but it was almost like it spoke to me. Which clearly suggested I’d had too much to drink.

“I haven’t seen it before, but I don’t get up into this part of the tower much. Is it heavy? Maybe it’s a prop or a prototype or some sort,” Angela shrugged. I adjusted my grip on the handle and prepared myself to lift it, assuming it would be ridiculously heavy. I was surprised when after a slight tug of resistance, I was able to heft the thing in the air. The air around us crackled with static, and suddenly a shock ran through my body, from the hand that was holding the hammer through to my feet. Everything around me slowed down, almost like slow motion in the movies. I looked up at Angela and saw Thor and Dr. Banner running towards us over her shoulder. Thor was reaching out, his mouth forming some kind of words, but I couldn’t hear them. I felt the hammer tug out of my hand and it flew away from me. The electricity left my body and I collapsed on the pool deck.

“What the actual fuck?” I muttered before blackness overtook my thoughts.

#bruce banner x OFC

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adamwatchesmovies · 3 years

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The Best of 2020

Better late, than never. I enjoy seeing other people’s top-10 lists and I said I’d do one for 2020, so here we go. I haven’t had the chance to watch EVERYTHING I wanted to, but you’ve got to pull the trigger at some point. When the Academy Awards took place on Sunday, I felt like I hadn’t seen ANYTHING nominated but I could remember dozens of times where I felt like I wasted my precious minutes with cinematic detritus. I assumed putting this list together would be easy. It wasn’t. I’ve got a lot of runner ups but for now, here are my Top 10 “Best” (by which I kind of mean my favorite) movies of 2020:

10. Never Rarely Sometimes Always

Never Rarely Sometimes Always gave me a lot to think about. On the surface, it's about a teenager who has to travel outside of her hometown to get an abortion, but it could've been any kind of procedure she's uncomfortable (or unable) asking her parents for. It's about the lengths she has to go to when her main source of support is cut off. You feel uneasy throughout, wondering what lengths the girls will have to resort through and whether something horrible is just around the corner. For this reason, I think many parents would find the film enriching.

9. Mank

I haven’t posted my review of Mank yet - just haven't had the time so consider my star rating for it "spoiled". If you don't know, it's about Herman J. Mankiewicz (Gary Oldman) and the time he wrote Citizen Kane for Orson Welles. I can’t call Citizen Kane one of my favorite films, but I do often think of it. The story, the characters, specific shots, the overall look, etc. Every time I revisit it in my memory, my appreciation for it grows and in a way, Mank helps complete my relationship with the film. For that reason, I foresee myself revisiting Mank in the future - probably as part of a double-bill. I’d love to see it enough times to memorize some of Gary Oldman’s best lines.

8. One Night in Miami

One Night in Miami addresses the present while being set in the past but something about it clicked with me more than Ma Rainey’s Black Bottom. It's essentially a series of long conversations, the kinds that force you to really examine tough questions and see these legendary figures as normal people. Unlike Mank, it isn't so much the individual lines that stand out, it's more the vibes you get from the exchanges. Out of all the movies on this list, it's probably got the best ensemble cast.

7. Sound of Metal

I'm sure you've seen that clip from Un Chien Andalou where an eye gets sliced with a razor? It gives me the willies just thinking about it because if I were blind I wouldn't be able to watch movies or draw. In Sound of Metal, we're dealing with a career cut short because of deafness but the dots are easy to connect. I immediately connected with this movie, which made its ending feel like a punch in the gut.

6. Tenet

I keep telling myself that I won’t love a movie Christopher Nolan directs just because his name is attached to it. Hopefully, this doesn't make me a fanboy, despite my falling for pretty much everything he's released. I love how ambitious Tenet is. The plot is so complicated but then again it isn't because once you're able to grok the mechanics of its reverse-entropy technology, you'll probably figure out most of the plot's mysteries. For me, that was the fun part. It felt good to see my understanding of the story and theories confirmed. I'll be watching it again once groups can gather so my friends and I can discuss everything in detail.

5. Trial of the Chicago Seven

I know The Trial of the Chicago Seven fudges history in ways certain people would say is irredeemable but I never go into a film “based on true events” assuming liberties won’t be taken. At the end of the day, I care about being entertained. My enjoyment was also amplified by the fact that I didn't know what the verdicts would be - my American history is spotty, at best. It's got laughs, outrage, drama, and inspirational moments. Aside from romance, you've got pretty much all the bases covered.

4. Palm Springs

Out of all the pleasant surprises of 2020, Palm Springs was the biggest. I thought the Groundhog Day thing was played out and the 0-star-worthy Love Wedding Repeat did nothing to convince me otherwise. Then, this movie comes along and does everything you want in one of those movies, and then some. Not only did Palm Springs give me the romantic comedy I'd been craving for (feels like we haven't gotten a good one since "Crazy Rich Asians" it also examines what love and relationships mean through smartly written metaphors.

3. Possessor

No, I didn’t put this movie on the list just because it’s Canadian; Possessor is on this list because it’s the most unsettling movie of 2020. I mean that in a good way. I've already talked about how unsettling the premise is but it's also the execution. Those bizarre “dream” scenes with the different identities merging in unnatural ways is unforgettable. That mask of Tasya's face, half-melted is already creepy enough, when worn by Christopher Abbott as he re-enacts her memories is just so weird it makes you wonder if you’re actually seeing what you’re seeing, or if you’re going mad. Then, there's that shot with the fingers at the end! Makes me wince just thinking about it.

2. Soul

During the Oscars, I get a little mad at Pixar. They effortlessly churn out these masterpieces that mean no other studio has a chance of winning an Academy Award for the Best Animated Film category. It makes me wonder if the voters even bother to watch the competition but I don't think anyone could argue against Soul. It's among their best films. It’s gorgeous, profound, and modern without showcasing any issues that might flush your day down the toilet.

Runner-Ups:

Enola Holmes

I never believed Enola Holmes would end up on my "Best of the Year" list but this movie is a lot of fun. If you haven't seen it yet, you should. Just wanted to remind you.

Birds of Prey (and the Fantabulous Emancipation of One Harley Quinn) I was disappointed when audiences didn’t seem interested in Birds of Prey. Seeing Margot Robbie go all-out and given a script that actually makes good use of her character was lots of fun. I also found it refreshing to see a superhero movie (not really, but kind of) that didn’t involve a plot to destroy the world, upheaval all of civilization, or shoot a giant beam into the sky. I think this is one people will discover down the line and go “why didn’t I go see this in theaters when it was playing?”

Borat Subsequent Moviefilm I’m not 100% in love with Borat 2 but boy am I looking forward to showing it to people who have no idea what’s coming. That scene with Rudy Guliani might not have the same impact down the line as it did when I first saw this sequel, but that’s ok. It’ll still have you picking your jaw off the floor.

Nomadland It’s a great movie and I might’ve put it on my list of the best… but I just don’t see myself watching this one again anytime soon. Great movie though. It deserves every accolade you see directed towards it. Chloé Zhao is shaping up to be a major talent. While before I might’ve said “Eternals who?” Now, I’m excited.

The Vast of Night Until I saw Possessor, this was my favorite horror film of 2020. I love the way this movie does so much without showing anything. It’s all about letting your imagination do the work.

Hamilton I’m still unsure how I feel about the casting in Hamilton. Everyone does a terrific job. I understand why actors of color were chosen to portray the historical figures we meet during this story. It still doesn't sit 100% comfortable with me. Then again, who can argue with those results? I’ve seen the movie twice and the songs are still playing in my head.

1. Promising Young Woman

I only had so much before this post went up. Enough for one more movie. It was a tossup between The Father, Judas and the Black Messiah, and Promising Young Woman. As you can imagine, I’m pretty satisfied with the choice I made. Writer/director Emerald Fennell takes the rape-revenge genre and reshapes it into something that feels completely new. Like many of the other films on this list, it also feels relevant to what’s going on today. There are many reasons why I could’ve given it this slot. The writing, the performances, the way it puts your stomach in knots as you wonder what’s going to happen next, the pitch-perfect ending… but I’m going to pick a more personal reason. I try to look at films as snapshots of when they were made. There’s a part of me that winces when I look at Gone with the Wind but I’m also able to take a step back and say “but other than that…” and then just enjoy the movie. In Promising Young Woman, the past is confronted in a way that made me pause and think about two movies on my shelf: Wedding Crashers and American Pie. The Vince Vaughn/Owen Wilson comedy, in particular, has a lot of questionable bits of comedy, bits made even more eyebrow-raising by the fact that it isn't an "old" movie whose entire cast is now dead. Let’s just say that when a movie makes me go “This movie is replacing X”, makes me think this hard about things, and does everything else you want in a thriller… it’ll stick in your head for a long time. That's why I'm calling it the best/my favorite movie of the year.

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oneweekoneband · 3 years

Video

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I’m slightly nauseous already with knowing I’m going to say this, but what does “self-awareness” even mean? In modern parlance, as a descriptive phrase, as a comment on art? I’m asking in earnest, like, I’ve been Googling lately, which for me is basically on par with doctoral study in terms of academic rigor. The self is king, anyway, tyrant, so where is the line of distinction between material that intentionally is nodding at some truth about the artist’s life and what’s just, like, all the rest of the regular navel-gazing bullshit. I mean, I’m all self, I am guilty here. I can’t get it out of my poems or even make it more quiet. This is the tenth time I’ve invoked “I” in the space of six sentences. Processing art has always necessitated a certain amount of grappling with the creator, but the busywork of it lately grows more and more tedious. Joy drains out of my body parsing marks left behind not just in stylistic tendencies and themes, but in literal, intentional tags like graffiti on a water tower. This feels an age old and moth-holed complaint, dull, and I am no historian, or really a serious thinker of any kind. I’ve now complained at some length about self-referential art, but didn’t I love how Martin Scorsese nodded to the famous Goodfellas Copacabana tracking shot with the opening frames of last year’s The Irishman? Didn’t I find that terribly fun and sort of sweet? So there’s distinctions. I’m only saying I don’t know with certainty what they even are. I’m unreliable, and someone smarter than me has likely already solved my quandary about why self-knowledge often transforms into overly precious self-reflexivity in such a way that the knowledge is diminished and obscured, leaving only cutesy Easter eggs behind. Postmodernism has birthed a moralizing culture where art exists to be termed either “self-aware Good” or “self-aware Bad”. Self-referentiality in media is so commonplace, so much the standard, that what was once credited as metatextual inventiveness often feels lazy now. In 1996, Scream was revitalizing a genre. Today, two thirds of all horror movies spend half their running time making sure that you know that they know they’re a horror movie, which is fine, I guess, except sometimes you just wanna watch someone get butchered with an axe in peace.

This is all to say that in 2020 Taylor Swift looked long and hard upon her image in the reflecting pool of her heart and has written yet another song about Gone Girl.

“mirrorball” is a very good piece of Gone Girl —feels insane to tell anyone reading a post on a blog what Gone Girl is but, you know, the extremely popular 2012 novel about a woman who pretends to have been murdered and frames her husband for it, and subsequently the 2014 film adaption where you kinda see Ben Affleck’s dick for a second—fanfiction. It would be a fine song, a good song, really, even if it weren’t that, if it were just something normal and not unhinged written by a chill person who behaves in a regular way, but we need to acknowledge the facts for what they are. When Taylor Swift watched Rosamund Pike toss her freshly self-bobbed hair out of her face and hiss, “You think you’d be happy with some nice Midwestern girl? No way, baby. I’m it!” her brain lit up like a Christmas tree, and she’s never been the same. If you Google “taylor swift gone girl” there waiting for you will be a medium sized lake’s worth of articles speculating about how Gone Girl influenced and is referenced in past Swift singles “Blank Space” and “Look What You Made Me Do”. This is not new behavior, and if anything it’s getting a bit troubling to think that it’s been this long since Taylor’s read another book. Still, while the prior offerings were a fair attempt at this particular feat of depravity, “mirrorball” has brought Taylor’s Amy Elliott Dunne deification to stunning new heights. And most importantly, Taylor has done a service to every person alive with more than six brain cells and a Internet connection by putting an end to the “Cool Girl” discourse once and for all. By the power invested in “mirrorball”, it is hereby decreed that the Cool Girl speech from Gone Girl is neither feminist or antifeminist, not ironic nor aspirational. No. It’s something much better than all that. It’s a threat. I ! Can ! Change ! Everything ! About ! Me ! To ! Fit ! In !

Gone Girl (2012) by Gillian Flynn

“mirrorball” (2020) by Taylor Swift

When the twinkly musical stylings of Jack Antonoff, a man I distinctly distrust, but for no one specific reason, whirl to life at the beginning of this song I feel instantly entranced, blurry-brained and pleasure-pickled like an infant beneath a light-up crib mobile or, I guess, myself in the old times, the outside times, three tequila sodas deep under the disco lights at The Short Stop. Under a mirrorball in my head. I know very little about music, as a craft, and I really don’t care to know more. I’m happy in a world of pure, dumb sensation. I’m not even sure what kind of instruments are making these jangly little sounds. I just like it. I am vibing. We may not ever be able to behave badly in a club again, but I can sway to my stupid Taylor Swift-and-the-brother-of-the-lady-who-makes-like-those-sweatshirts-with-little-sayings-or-like-vulvas-which-famous-white-women-wear-on-instagram-you-know-what-I-mean song, pressing up onto my tiptoes on the linoleum tile of our kitchen floor and can feel for a second or two something approaching bliss. “mirrorball” is a lush sound bath that I like a lot and then also it’s about being all things to all people, chameleoning at a second’s notice, doing Oscar worthy work on every Zoom call, performing the you who is good, performing the you who is funny, performing the you who draws a liter of your own blood and throws it around the kitchen then cleans it up badly all to get your husband sent to jail for sleeping with a college student... Too much talk about making and unmaking of the self is way too, like, 2012 Tumblr for me now, and I start hearing the word “praxis” ring threateningly in my head, but I’m not yet so evolved that I don’t feel a pull. Musings on the disorganized self—on how we are new all the time, and not just because of all the fresh skin coming up under the dead, personhood in the end so frighteningly flexible—are always going to compel me, I’m afraid, but that goes double for musings on the disorganized self which posit that Taylor Swift still thinks Amy Dunne made some points.

Because on “mirrorball” Taylor is for once not hamfistedly addressing some “hater”, in the quiet and the lack of embarrassing martyrdom it actually offers an interesting answer to the complaint that Taylor is insufficiently self-aware. This criticism emerges often in tandem with claiming to have discovered some crack in the chassis of Swift’s public self, revealing the sweetness to be insincere. My instinct is to dismiss this more or less out of hand as just a mutation of the school of thought that presumes all work by women must be autobiography. And, regardless, it is made altogether laughable by the fact that anyone actually paying attention has known since at least Speak Now, a delightful record populated by the most appalling, horrible characters imaginable, and all of them written by a twenty year old Taylor Swift, that this woman is a pure weirdo. To accuse Taylor Swift of lacking in self-awareness is a reductive misunderstanding, I think, of artifice. Being a fake bitch takes work. Which is to say, if we agree that her public self is a calculated performance—eliding the fact that all public selves are a performance to avoid getting too in the weeds yadda yadda— why, then, should it be presumed that performance is rooted in ignorance? Would it not make more sense that, in fact, someone able to contort themselves so ably into various shapes for public consumption would have a certain understanding of the basic materials they’re working with and concealing? Taylor Swift, in a decade and a half of fame, has presented herself from inside a number of distinct packages. The gangly teenager draped in long curls like climbing wisteria who wrote lyrics down her arms in glitter paint gave way to red lipstick, a Diet Coke campaign, and bad dancing at awards shows. There was the period where she was surrounded constantly by a gaggle of models, then suddenly wasn’t anymore, and that rough interlude with the bleached hair. The whole Polaroid thing. Last year she boldly revealed she’s a democrat. Now it’s the end of the world and she’s got frizzy bangs and flannels and muted little piano songs. Perhaps this endless shape-shifting contradicts or undermines, for some, the pose of tender authenticity which has remained static through each phase, but that doesn’t mean she hasn’t been doing it all on purpose the entire time. I’ve never been a natural, all I do is try, try, try...

In the Disney+ documentary—which, in order to watch, I had to grudgingly give the vile mouse seven dollars, because the login information that I’d begged off of my little sister didn’t work and I was too embarrassed to bring it up a second time—Taylor referred to “mirrorball” as the first time on the album where she explicitly addressed the pandemic, referring to the lyrics that start, “And they called off the circus, Burned the disco down,” and end with “I’m still on that tightrope, I’m still trying everything to get you laughing at me,” which actually did made me laugh, feeling sort of warmly foolish and a little fond, because it never would have occurred to me that she was trying to be literal there. I suppose we really do all contain multitudes. Hate that.

#taylor swift #folklore

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kissjane · 4 years

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WORTHY PRIZE / Short fic

#46 from this prompt list

It may not be exactly what you wanted, 🐛, but I hope you like it anyway!

Argument leading to kissing/sex

It should have been a great evening. The movie David had worked on as director’s assistant was nominated for some prestigious award, and he had been so proud and happy to go to a red-carpet event with Matteo. It was even better because he had ignored Matteo so often lately, with the busy filming schedule. He’d promised Matteo a nice date night, to make up for all the lonely evenings.

And it had been really fun, at first. Matteo had looked dashing in his blue suit, and they had stood a bit aside, enjoying the food, while some speeches were made.

But then the director had come over. He’d offered to introduce David to some other well-known people in the business, and David had jumped at the chance. He’d felt bad for leaving Matteo alone, but Matteo had told him he needed to strike the iron while it was hot.

The networking had lasted way longer than David could have predicted, though, and after a couple of hours he had realized with a jolt Matteo must be bored out of his mind by now.

So he made his excuses, and went in search of his boyfriend. He didn’t find him near the food, though, and he got a bit worried, walking through the venue filled with people, until he heard a bright laugh he knew so well.

When he turned around, he saw Matteo at the bar, sitting close to an actor from one of the other competing films. They were clearly hitting it off, guffawing loudly, each with a beer in their hand. Judging by the bottles in front of them, it wasn’t their first either.

David was about to go over, when the presenter signalled to the crowd that the jury had reached a decision and the winner would be announced. David had no choice but to find the rest of the cast and crew he worked with the past few months, in anticipation of the ceremony. Even though they had all known the other selected movies were extremely well-made too, they were all rooting to win, and it was a huge disappointment when another title was called. David felt even worse when he saw Matteo’s drinking buddy prominently on the stage, holding the award high, grinning from ear to ear. Some girl from their crew muttered something about “Karl Müller being so pretty” and David scoffed. Handsome faces didn’t trump good directing, intriguing stories and layered characters. He had to admit he hadn’t yet seen the winning movie, and spitefully he decided he wasn’t even going to.

They had to go take care of some marketing shit after the ceremony – posing with the winning team, congratulating them as if they hadn’t hoped to win themselves, and such things. By the time it was over, he just wanted to find Matteo and be comforted by him for not winning.

But as he went to the bar, Karl Müller was right in front of him. He walked straight up to Matteo, and Matteo beamed at him.

“Congratulations, man! I’ll have to watch your movie, I suppose!”

David scoffed. Matteo’s idea of a good movie was anything from the Marvel franchise. This movie was definitely another category. It stung, though, to hear Matteo just say that. David usually had to beg him to watch anything indie or artsy with him.

Then David’s blood really started boiling. Karl fucking Müller shrugged modestly, saying something David didn’t understand, and Matteo laughed, and hugged the guy.

“I’m sure you were great!”

That did it. Matteo was supposed to hug David, and David alone – not some washed-up movie star who probably couldn’t even act for shit but happened to have a great face and a body the girls liked to ogle. He marched over to the bar, when the same crew girl intercepted him.

“Hey,” she said breathlessly, “do you have any idea who is sitting with Karl Müller? Do you think he has a new boyfriend?”

“Huh?”, David said, not caring how stupid he sounded. “Is that dude gay?”

“Karl Müller?”, the girl tittered. Why had he never noticed how annoying she was? “Oh, yeah. Shame, really. The hot ones always are.”

She stared longingly at the guy.

“His boyfriend isn’t bad-looking either,” she continued dreamily. Karl fucking Müller was smiling broadly at Matteo, and he put his hand on Matteo’s arm fondly – a bit too familiar for David’s liking, but the girl next to him sighed happily. “They look so cute together. You can really tell they’re in love.”

And now David had had enough. Some hot guy was hitting on his boyfriend right while he was watching. He stalked over, and pulled Matteo away from the bar without a word, ignoring Matteo’s yelp of pain, and Müller’s surprised voice. He was fuming, and as soon as they reached a dark hallway, he turned around.

“What the fuck, Matteo? Why are you letting that… that asshole pawing you all over?”

“What?” Matteo sounded baffled, and not a tiny bit angry, either. “What the hell do you think you’re doing, dragging me away like that?” He rubbed his wrist, and David felt remorse when he saw bruises forming in the shape of his fingers. “I was talking to somebody.”

All the remorse flew straight out of the window.

“Yeah, I noticed,” he spat. “Maybe you shouldn’t flirt with other men when your boyfriend is around, though.”

“What?”, Matteo repeated, incredulously. “Flirting? Who was flirting?”

“You, with that bastard!”, David snarled. “He had his hands all over you, Matteo!”

“He had not!”, Matteo retorted. “We were just talking, David.”

“I can’t believe you’re that naïve,” David bit. “Even other people asked if you were his boyfriend, commented on how clearly the two of you were in love.”

He felt the tears welling up, and his throat constricted. He’d always known Matteo could do so much better. Somebody with less baggage, who didn’t have to try as hard to be a man. Somebody handsome and successful, like Matteo deserved. Maybe Matteo had finally realized it too, and he was scouting the field.

It sickened David to his core, and he didn’t know how to react, except with anger.

“I would have thought you’d do me the courtesy of actually breaking up with me before you moved on, though. Or did you need me to get in, so you could snag some high-profile actor? Was that your plan all along?”

David knew Matteo had the tendency to retreat when faced with anger, and he paused long enough to take another breath, when Matteo totally surprised him by putting a hand over his mouth and pushing his back against the wall.

“You are an idiot, Schreibner,” he said, slowly, softly, calmly. “You are a complete and utter fool if you think I’ll ever let you get away.”

He pressed his lips on David’s, demanding entrance. David was bewildered by this confident, almost aggressive Matteo, and he complied unthinkingly. Matteo kissed him deeply, taking his time.

“Karl Müller told me, before you so rudely interrupted us, that he has the biggest crush on a straight co-star of his. And I told him that I have been dating the man of my dreams for seven years now, but that I am afraid he will one day realize he can have anybody he wants, and leave me. But now…”

He pressed his hips roughly into David’s, connecting their lower bodies, pushing a leg in between David’s.

“Now I know how insanely jealous he gets when he sees me talking to another guy, I think he might not be all that inclined to leave me after all.”

“He’s not,” David whispered.

“Mmmm,” Matteo replied, his hands pulling David’s shirt out of his waistband. “Good. Because I want him. Right here, right now.”

David was thrilled by this new side to Matteo. If this was the result of making a fool out of himself in a jealous hissy fit, he was going to do that every other week from now on. And when Matteo pulled him along to an even darker corner, one hand on his zipper already, he mentally upped it to once every three days.

And when they made it back to the main hall, looking pretty disheveled but glowing, Matteo introduced David to Karl Müller, and David felt only slightly guilty about enjoying the envious flash passing through Müller’s eyes as he took in their appearance. David looked at the award sitting next to Müller on the bar, and he couldn’t care less. He was taking home the only prize worth winning.

#I write things #50 cliché prompts #🐛#all the davenzi shipping anons

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iwanthermidnightz · 4 years

Link

“Not a shot. Not a single chance. Not a snowball’s chance in hell.”

Taylor Swift — who, at 30, has reached a Zen state of cheerful realism — laughs as she leans into a pillow she’s placed over her crossed legs inside her suite at the Beverly Hilton Hotel, leaning further still into her infinitesimal odds of winning a Golden Globe, which will zero out when she heads down to the televised ball in a few hours.

Never mind whether or not the tune she co-wrote, “Beautiful Ghosts,” might actually have been worthy of a trophy for best original song (or shortlisted for an Oscar, which it was not). Since the Globe nominations were revealed, voters could hardly have been immune to how quickly the film it’s a part of, “Cats,” in which she also co-stars, became a whipping boy for jokes about costly Hollywood miscalculations and creative disasters. Not that you’ll hear Swift utter a discouraging word about it all. “I’m happy to be here, happy to be nominated, and I had a really great time working on that weird-ass movie,” she declares. “I’m not gonna retroactively decide that it wasn’t the best experience. I never would have met Andrew Lloyd Webber or gotten to see how he works, and now he’s my buddy. I got to work with the sickest dancers and performers. No complaints.”

If this leads you to believe that the pop superstar is in the business of sugarcoating things, consider her other new movie — a vastly more significant documentary that presents Swift not just sans digital fur but without a whole lot of the varnish of the celebrity-industrial complex. The Netflix-produced “Taylor Swift: Miss Americana” has a prestige slot as the Jan. 23 opening night gala premiere of the Sundance Film Festival before it reaches the world as a day-and-date theatrical release and potential streaming monster on Jan. 31.

The doc spends much of its opening act juxtaposing the joys of creation with the aggravations of global stardom — the grist of many a pop doc, if rendered in especially intimate detail — before taking a more provocative turn in its last reel to focus more tightly on how and why Swift became a political animal. It’s the story of an earnest young woman with a self-described “good girl” fixation working through her last remaining fears of being shamed as she comes to embrace her claws, and her causes.

Given that the film portrays how gradually, and sometimes reluctantly, Swift came to place herself into service as a social commentator, “Miss Americana” is a portrait of the birth of an activist. Director Lana Wilson sets the movie up so that it pivots on a couple of big letdowns for its subject. The first comes early in the film, and early in the morning, when Swift’s publicist calls to update her on how many of the top three Grammy categories her 2017 album “Reputation” is nominated for: zilch. She’s clearly bummed about the record’s brushoff by the awards’ nominating committee, as just about anyone who’d previously won album of the year twice would be, and determinedly tells her rep that she’s just going to make a better record.

But she suffers what feels like a more meaningful blow toward the end of the film. In the fall of 2018, Swift finally comes out of the closet politically to intervene on behalf of Democrats in a midterm election in her home state of Tennessee. As the Washington Post put it, this announcement “fell like a hammer across the Trump-worshipping subforums of the far-right Internet, where people had convinced themselves… that the world-famous pop star was a secret MAGA fan.” Donald Trump goes on camera to smirk that he now likes Swift’s music a little less. The singer is successful in enlisting tens of thousands of young people to register to vote, but her senatorial candidate of choice, Democrat Phil Bredesen, loses to Republican Marsha Blackburn, whom she’d called out as a flagrant enemy of feminism and gay rights.

“Definitely, that was a bigger disappointment for me,” Swift says, pitting the midterm snub against the Grammy snub. “I think what’s going on out in the world is bigger than who gets a prize at the party.”

It was not always thus for Swift — as the detractors who dragged her for staying quiet during the last presidential election eagerly pointed out. If you had to pick the most embarrassing or regrettable moment in “Miss Americana,” it might be the TV clip from “The Late Show With David Letterman” in which the host brings up politics and gets Swift to essentially advocate the “Shut up and sing” mantra. As the studio audience roars approval of her vow to stay apolitical, Letterman gives her what now looks like history’s most dated fist bump.

Thinking back on it, Swift is incredulous. “Every time I didn’t speak up about politics as a young person, I was applauded for it,” she says. “It was wild. I said, ‘I’m a 22-year-old girl — people don’t want to hear what I have to say about politics.’ And people would just be like, ‘Yeahhhhh!’”

At that point, Swift was already starting to record isolated pop tracks, taking baby steps that would soon turn into full strides away from her initial genre. But whether she had designs on switching lanes or not, the lesson of the Dixie Chicks’ forced exile after Natalie Maines’ comment against then-President George W. Bush had branded itself onto her brain at an earlier age, when she’d just planted her young-teen flag in Nashville and overheard a lot of the lamentations of older Music Row songwriters about how the Chicks had thrown it all away.

“I saw how one comment ended such a powerful reign, and it terrified me,” says Swift. “These days, with social media, people can be so mad about something one day and then forget what they were mad about a couple weeks later. That’s fake outrage. But what happened to the Dixie Chicks was real outrage. I registered it — that you’re always one comment away from being done being able to make music.”

Maybe the most transfixing scene in “Miss Americana” is one where Swift argues with her father and other members of her team about the statement she’s about to release coming out against Blackburn and — it’s clear from her references to White House opposition to the Equality Act — Donald Trump too. The comments were so spontaneous that Wilson wasn’t there to film the moment, but the director had asked people to turn on the camera if anything interesting transpired, and here it most certainly did.

“For 12 years, we’ve not got involved in politics or religion,” an unnamed associate says to Swift, suggesting that going down the road of standing against a president as well as Republican gubernatorial and Senate candidates could have the effect of halving her audience on tour. Her father chimes in: “I’ve read the entire [statement] and … right now, I’m terrified. I’m the guy that went out and bought armored cars.”

“I needed to get to a point where I was ready, able and willing to call out bullshit rather than just smiling my way through it.” TAYLOR SWIFT

But Swift is adamant about pressing the button to send a nearly internet-breaking Instagram post, saying that Blackburn has voted against reauthorizing the Violence Against Women Act as well as LGBTQ-friendly bills: “I can’t see another commercial [with] her disguising these policies behind the words ‘Tennessee Christian values.’ I live in Tennessee. I am Christian. That’s not what we stand for.” Pushing back tears, she laments not having come out against Trump two years earlier, “but I can’t change that. … I need to be on the right side of history. … Dad, I need you to forgive me for doing it, because I’m doing it.”

Says Swift now, “This was a situation where, from a humanity perspective, and from what my moral compass was telling me I needed to do, I knew I was right, and I really didn’t care about repercussions.” She understands why she faced such heated opposition in the room: “My dad is terrified of threats against my safety and my life, and he has to see how many stalkers we deal with on a daily basis, and know that this is his kid. It’s where he comes from.”

Swift was recently announced as the recipient of a Vanguard Award from GLAAD, and she name-checked the org in her basher-bashing single “You Need to Calm Down,” which was released as one of the teaser tracks for last fall’s more outwardly directed and socially conscious “Lover” album. Part of her politicization, she says, is feeling it would be hypocritical to hang out with her gay friends while leaving them to their own devices politically. In the film, she says, “I think it is so frilly and spineless of me to stand onstage and go ‘Happy Pride Month, you guys,’ and then not say this, when someone’s literally coming for their neck.”

A year and a half later, she elaborates: “To celebrate but not advocate felt wrong for me. Using my voice to try to advocate was the only choice to make. Because I’ve talked about equality and sung about it in songs like ‘Welcome to New York,’ but we are at a point where human rights are being violated. When you’re saying that certain people can be kicked out of a restaurant because of who they love or how they identify, and these are actual policies that certain politicians vocally stand behind, and they disguise them as family values, that is sinister. So, so dark.”

Her increasing alignment with the LGBTQ community wasn’t the only thing raising her consciousness to a breaking — i.e., speaking — point. So did the sexual assault trial in which judgment was rendered that she had been groped by a DJ in a backstage photo op (for financial restitution, Swift had asked for $1).

Her experience with the trial was crucial, she says, in finding herself “needing to speak up about beliefs I’d always had, because it felt like an opportunity to shed light on what those trials are like. I experienced it as a person with extreme privilege, so I can only imagine what it’s like when you don’t have that. And I think one theme that ended up emerging in the film is what happens when you are not just a people pleaser but someone who’s always been respectful of authority figures, doing what you were supposed to do, being polite at all costs. I still think it’s important to be polite, but not at all costs,” she says. “Not when you’re being pushed beyond your limits, and not when people are walking all over you. I needed to get to a point where I was ready, able and willing to call out bulls— rather than just smiling my way through it.”

That came into play when Kanye West stepped into her life and publicly shamed her a second time. In the video Kim Kardashian released in 2016, you can hear the people-pleasing Swift on the other end of the line sheepishly thanking him for letting her know about the “Me and Taylor might still have sex” line he plans to include about her in a song — only to regret it later when the eventual track also includes the claim “Why? I made that bitch famous.” The boast, of course, referred back to the moment when he interrupted her and stole her spotlight at the MTV VMAs six years earlier as she was in the middle of an acceptance speech. West’s is not a name that ever publicly escapes Swift’s lips, so it might be surprising to fans that these events are recapped in “Miss Americana,” although Swift says the filmic decisions were all up to the director, who explains that Swift’s reaction to the episode was important to include.

“With the 2009 VMAs, it surprised me that when she talked about how the whole crowd was booing, she thought that they were booing her, and how devastating that was,” says Wilson. “That was something I hadn’t thought about or heard before, and made it much more relatable and understandable to anyone.”

“I see the movie as looking at the flip side of being America’s sweetheart.” LANA WILSON, DIRECTOR OF “TAYLOR SWIFT: MISS AMERICANA”

Swift acknowledges how formative both incidents have been in her life, for ill and good. “As a teenager who had only been in country music, attending my very first pop awards show,” she says now, “somebody stood up and sent me the message: ‘You are not respected here. You shouldn’t be here on this stage.’ That message was received, and it burrowed into my psyche more than anyone knew. … That can push you one of two ways: I could have just curled up and decided I’m never going to one of those events ever again, or it could make me work harder than anyone expects me to, and try things no one expected, and crave that respect — and hopefully one day get it.

“But then when that person who sparked all of those feelings comes back into your life, as he did in 2015, and I felt like I finally got that respect (from West), but then soon realized that for him it was about him creating some revisionist history where he was right all along, and it was correct, right and decent for him to get up and do that to a teenage girl…” She sighs. “I understand why Lana put it in.”

Adds the woman who started her recent “Lover” album with a West-allusive romp that’s pointedly called “I Forgot That You Existed”: “I don’t think too hard about this stuff now.”

What’s not in the film is any mention of her other most famous nemeses — Scooter Braun and Scott Borchetta of Big Machine Records, with whom she’s scrapped publicly for several months. “The Big Machine stuff happened pretty late in our process,” says Wilson. “We weren’t that far from picture lock. But there’s also not much to say that isn’t publicly known. I feel like Taylor’s put the story out there in her own words already, and it’s been widely covered. I was interested in telling the story that hadn’t been told before, that would be surprising and emotionally powerful to audiences whether they were music industry people or not.”

Still, the way Swift has been willing to stand up politically for others parallels the manner in which she stood up for herself in regard to Braun, et al., at the recent Billboard Women in Music Awards, where she gave an altogether blistering speech, naming names and taking no prisoners, going after the men who now control her six-album Big Machine back catalog. Certainly Swift was aware that, along with supporters, there were many friends and business associates of Braun among the VIPs in the Hollywood Palladium who would not be pleased with what this very reformed people-pleaser had to say.

One thing everyone who was in the room agrees on is that you could hear a pin drop as Swift used the speech to get even bolder about the meat of these disputes. Some would say it’s because they were riveted by her boldness in speaking truth to power, others because they just felt uncomfortable. Says one fellow honoree who works in a high position in the industry (and who’s worked with some high-profile Braun clients): “People were excited for her at the beginning of the speech. But once she started going in a negative direction at an event that is supposed to be celebrating accomplishments and rah-rah for women, I felt it fell flat with a good portion of the room, because it wasn’t the appropriate place to be saying it.”

Wasn’t it intimidating for Swift, knowing she might be polarizing an auditorium full of the most powerful people in the business? “Well, I do sleep well at night knowing that I’m right,” she responds, “and knowing that in 10 years it will have been a good thing that I spoke about artists’ rights to their art, and that we bring up conversations like: Should record deals maybe be for a shorter term, or how are we really helping artists if we’re not giving them the first right of refusal to purchase their work if they want to?”

“Obviously, anytime you’re standing up against or for anything, you’re never going to receive unanimous praise. But that’s what forces you to be brave. And that’s what’s different about the way I live my life now.” (Braun’s camp did not respond to a request for comment.)

One thing Taylor Swift can’t bend to her determined will is her family’s health. She revealed a few years ago that her mother, Andrea, a beloved figure among the thousands of fans who’ve met her at road shows, is battling breast cancer. Swift addressed the uncertainty of that struggle in an anguished song on her latest album, “Soon You’ll Get Better.” Many who view “Miss Americana” will look for signs of how her mom is doing. The subject comes up in a section of the film that includes a relatively light-hearted scene in in which it’s shown that one of Andrea Swift’s ways of saying “eff you” to cancer recently was to break the mold and bring a canine — her “cancer dog” — into a famously feline-friendly family.

The real answer may come in Swift’s touring activity for “Lover.” Whereas typically she’d spend nine months in the year after an album release on the road, she plans to limit herself to four stadium dates in America this summer and a trip around the festival circuit in Europe. This may not be 100% for personal reasons: “I wanted to be able to perform in places that I hadn’t performed in as much, and to do things I hadn’t done before, like Glastonbury,” she says. “I feel like I haven’t done festivals, really, since early in my career — they’re fun and bring people together in a really cool way. But I also wanted to be able to work as much as I can handle right now, with everything that’s going on at home. And I wanted to figure out a way that I could do both those things.”

Is being able to be there for her mother the main concern? “Yeah, that’s it. That’s the reason,” she says. “I mean, we don’t know what is going to happen. We don’t know what treatment we’re going to choose. It just was the decision to make at the time, for right now, for what’s going on.”

In her case, it’s as if her manager had taken seriously ill as well as the person she’s always been closest to, all at once. “Everyone loves their mom; everyone’s got an important mom,” she allows. “But for me, she’s really the guiding force. Almost every decision I make, I talk to her about it first. So obviously it was a really big deal to ever speak about her illness.” During filming, when Andrea’s breast cancer had returned for a second time, “she was going through chemo, and that’s a hard enough thing for a person to go through.” Then it got harder. Speaking about this latest development publicly for the first time, Swift quietly reveals: “While she was going through treatment, they found a brain tumor. And the symptoms of what a person goes through when they have a brain tumor is nothing like what we’ve ever been through with her cancer before. So it’s just been a really hard time for us as a family.”

Compared with that, nearly any other topic the movie might address would pale. But it finds weightiness in addressing other kinds of unhealthiness, like the physical expectations that are placed on women in general and celebrity women specifically, Swift being no exception. In this department, she has her own heroines. “I love people like Jameela Jamil, because he way she speaks about body image, it’s almost like she speaks in a hook. Women are held to such a ridiculous standard of beauty, and we’re seeing so much on social media that makes us feel like we are less than, or we’re not what we should be, that you kind of need a mantra to repeat in your head when you start to have unhealthy thoughts. I swear the way Jameela speaks is like lyrics — it gets stuck in my head and it calms me down.”

Swift’s collaborator in this messaging, Wilson, was on a list of potential directors Netflix gave her when she expressed interest in possibly doing a documentary to follow the concert special that premiered on the service just over a year ago. You could discern a feminist message, if you chose to, in the fact that Swift chose a director most well known for a documentary about abortion providers, “After Tiller.” Swift says she was most impressed, though, that Wilson’s docs look for nuance and subtlety in addressing subjects that do lend themselves to soapboxes, and their first conversation was about their mutual desire to avoid “propaganda” in any form.

If there’s a feminist agenda in “Miss Americana,” Wilson and Swift wanted it to emerge naturally, although the director admits it was pretty blatant from the outset, given that she set up the film (which is co-produced by Morgan Neville, the director’s “sounding board”) with an all-female crew. Or nearly all-female, says Wilson, laughing, “I will say that we did always have male production assistants, because I like trying to show people that men can fetch coffee for women.”

Adds Wilson, “When I started filming, it was before she’d come out politically. She knew that she was coming out of a very dark period, and wanted collaborate on something that captured what she was going through and that was really raw and honest and emotionally intimate.” The political awakening, the director says, “was a profound decision for her to make. In that, I saw this feminist coming of age story that I personally connected with, and that I really think women and girls around the world will see themselves in.”

“The bigger your career gets, the more you struggle with the idea that a lot of people see you the same way they see an iPhone or a Starbucks.” TAYLOR SWIFT

The film borrows its title from a song on the “Lover” album, “Miss Americana & the Heartbreak Prince,” that’s maybe the one fully allegorical song Swift has ever released — and, in its fashion, is a great protest song. The entire lyric is a metaphor for how Swift grew up as an unblinking patriot and has had to reluctantly leave behind her naiveté in the age of Trump. Her partner on that track, as well as other message songs like “You Need to Calm Down” and “The Man,” was a co-writer and co-producer new to her stable of collaborators this time around, Joel Little.

With the song “Miss Americana & the Heartbreak Prince,” although the lyrics are cloaked in metaphor, “We like to think it was a very clear statement,” Little says. “There are lots of little hidden messages within that song that are all pointing toward the way that she thinks and feels about politics and the United States. I love that it uses a lot of classic Taylor Swift imagery, in terms of the songwriting topics of high school and cheerleaders, as a clever nod to what she’s done in the past, but tied in with a heavy political message.”

“Miss Americana & the Heartbreak Prince” doesn’t actually appear in the documentary, but the director says the film’s title is understood by fans as an obvious reference to political themes in the number. “Even if you don’t know the song,” Wilson says, “I see the movie as looking at the flip side of being America’s sweetheart, so I like how the title evokes that too.”

The doc doesn’t lack for its own protest songs though. In the wake of her midterm disappointment, Swift is seen writing an anthem for millennials who might have come away disillusioned with the political process. That previously unheard song, “Only the Young,” is seen being demo-ed before it plays in full over the end credits; it’ll be released as a digital single in conjunction with the doc. Key lyric: ““You did all that you could do / The game was rigged, the ref got tricked/ The wrong ones think they’re right / We were outnumbered — this time.”

“One thing I think is amazing about her,” says Wilson, “is that she goes to the studio and to songwriting as a place to process what she’s going through. I loved how, when she got the Grammy news (about “Reputation”), this isn’t someone who’s going to feel sorry for herself or say ‘That wasn’t right.’ She’s like, ‘Okay, I’m going to work even harder.’ You see her strength of character in that moment when she gets that news. And then with the election results, I loved how she channeled so many of her thoughts and feelings into ‘Only the Young.’ It was a great way to kind of show how stuff that happens in her life goes directly into the songs; you get to witness that in both cases.

So is the film aimed at satisfying the fan base or teasing the unconvinced hordes who might dial it up as a free stream? “I think it’s a little bit of both,” Swift says. “I chose Netflix because it’s a very vast, accessible medium to people who are just like, ‘Hey, what’s this? I’m bored.’ I love that, because I do so many things that cater specifically to fans that like my music, I think it’s important to put yourself out there to people who don’t care at all about you.”

In the wake of the last round of Kanye-gate, stung by the backlash of those who took his side, Swift took a three-year break from interviews. The mantra of her 2017 album “Reputation” and subsequent tour was “No explanations.” But her Beyoncé-style press blackout was a passing phase. With “Lover” and now, especially, the documentary, she could hardly be more about the explanations. Although this interview is the only one she currently plans to do about the documentary, it’s clear that she’s come back into a season of openness, and that she considers it her natural habitat.

“I really like the whole discussion around music. And during ‘Reputation,’ it never felt like it was ever going to be about music, no matter what I said or did,” she says. “I approach albums differently, in how I want to show them to the world or what I feel comfortable with at that time in my life.” Being more transparent “feels great with this album. I really feel like I could just keep making stuff — it’s that vibe right now. I don’t think I’ve ever written this much. That’s exhibited in ‘Lover’ having the most songs that I’ve ever had on an album” (18, to be exact). “But even after I made the album, I kept writing and going in the studio. That’s a new thing I’ve experienced this time around. That openness kind of feels like you finally got the lid off a jar you’ve been working at for years.”

Cipher-dom never could have stood for long for someone who’s established herself as one of the most accomplished confessional singer-songwriters in pop history. “I don’t really operate very well as an enigma,” she says. “It’s not fulfilling to me. It works really well in a lot of pop careers, but I think that it makes me feel completely unable to do what I had gotten in this to do, which is to communicate to people. I live for the feeling of standing on a stage and saying, ‘I feel this way,’ and the crowd responding with ‘We do too!’ And me being like, ‘Really?’ And they’re like, ‘Yes!’”

Swift believes talking things up again isn’t a form of giving in to narcissism — it’s a way of warding off commodification.

“The bigger your career gets, the more you struggle with the idea that a lot of people see you the same way they see an iPhone or a Starbucks,” she muses. “They’ve been inundated with your name in the media, and you become a brand. That’s inevitable for me, but I do think that it’s really necessary to feel like I can still communicate with people. And as a songwriter, it’s really important to still feel human and process things in a human way. The through line of all that is humanity, and reaching out and talking to people and having them see things that aren’t cute.

#swift finally comes out of the closet politically.... yes they REALLY wrote that

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itisannak · 5 years

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‘Cool’ by Jonas Brothers (Calum Hood Fluff)

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Summary: (Y/N) and Calum are in Miami for an award show. Inspired by 'Cool' by Jonas Brothers (Words: 2.2k)

"Morning, my love." I hear (Y/N) mumble, half asleep, still in my arms, face buried in my neck. I smile, still refusing to open my arms. We are tangled together, in a bed that is showered by sunlight, I feel her naked skin on my naked skin, so the person who dares make me get up from this bed will be dead by my own hands. "Morning, sweetheart." I pull her waist closer to mine, wanting to feel her more on me. I hold her to my body, her softness making me feel complete and mellow. Even at the moments when the world seems to be on 1000 miles per hour, she seems to make everything slow down and make sense. "We need breakfast..." She yawns, kissing my neck. I hum in agreement, bringing my hand in her hair. "We will get room service in a bit, love." I reply, feeling her silky locks on my fingertips. "I want pancakes with chocolate. And coffee. And strawberries with whipped cream." She states, her lips grazing my skin with every word that comes out of them. "Hungry much?" I ask her with a chuckle. "You worked me up pretty well last night. I need food." She replies, crawling up and bringing her face to mine. "Well then, you'll get whatever you ask for, my love." I reply, placing my hand on her face. She hums happily and smiles, leaning down to kiss my lips in the softest manner. "Order the food, baby. I am famished." She whispers and I nod. "Famished? Aren't you just being a drama queen?" I ask her and cocks an eyebrow. "Shut up and get me my food." She shakes her head chuckling as she pushes herself off the bed. "Where are you going?" I ask her, grabbing her wrist. "I need a shower. And my food better be here by the time I am out of there." She replies, giggling softly. "Harsh demands..." I mumble, letting her go. "That's why you adore me." She replies, walking to the bathroom and swaying her hips all the way there, her bare body becoming a fucking temptation.

I have the room service set up the breakfast in our balcony, deciding to start our day there. I light up a cigarette while waiting for (Y/N) to be done with her shower, enjoying the view of Miami Beach from the balcony. She walks out in the balcony with a towel wrapped around her body, hair still wet and sticking on her body. "Looks so good." She moans, picking up a strawberry before she sits down. I stare at her, smiling at the sight before me. Her lips look so good as she wraps them around the strawberry taking a big bite out of it. "Yeah, that's what I was thinking as well. But not about the food." I reply and she smiles mischievously. "Eat up. You will need the calories today..." She passes me the plate of pancakes. "What time are you having the hair appointment?" I ask her. "3:30. The girls and I have booked a suite to get ready for the awards together. Booze, treats, ladies' time, so we can look pretty when our men win their fucking awards..." She replies, cheering for me. "If we win..." I remind her and she scoffs. "When you win. All this hard work last year will be recognized at last." She encourages me, picking up another strawberry.

"Looks good?" I ask Michael as I fix the buttons of my blazer. "Too good, mate. (Y/N) might get ideas..." He pats my shoulder, laughing lightly. "Ideas?" I ask him, furrowing my eyebrows together. "You know..." He says, pointing at the ring on his ring finger. "Well, she wouldn't be getting ideas I haven't been having already." I reply, making him look at me shocked. "You planning to?" He asks. "Since day 2. When I woke up next to her feeling like starring in an old Hollywood romantic movie." I reply, smiling at him. "No fucking way... Anytime soon?" He asks me, cocking an eyebrow. "No... And yes..." I shrug, walking away from him.

The limo drives us to the venue of the award show. Just us though, the ladies took a different car, so the band can do some press first before we get completely stupefied by our women. All I can think now is (Y/N) and how good she is going to look, how she is going to be the prettiest girl in the room... I barely say a word during the interviews, looking in the crowd to find (Y/N). And when I see her, walking towards me, wearing her amazing red slip dress, looking like she could give every top model a run for their money, I leave everyone behind me, walk to her fast to get with her without spending more time being away from her. "Fuck me... You look stunning..." I breathe out, scanning her figure. "You like it?" She asks, grinning at me. "Are you kidding me? I can't even speak right now... I can't take my eyes off of you..." I gasp, pushing a strand of her hair behind her ear. "Took a lot of money and a lot of time to look this good." She states, her little giggle sounding like music to my ears. "Worth every penny. But let me tell you a secret, my love. You don't need all of that to take my breath away..." I whisper in her ear, placing my hand on her lower back as we walk back to the interviewer.

"And now we know why Calum has been quiet this whole time. (Y/N), you look AMAZING." The interviewer says cheerfully. (Y/N) turns red, smiling brightly at the compliment. "Thank you so much. You look really good as well." She compliments her back. "Is she always that sweet, Cal?" She asks me and I chuckle. "Oh man, she is such a hypeman... Everything I do, she makes it seem huge and celebration-worthy. She is my cheerleader, 24/7." I reply, tangling my fingers with hers. "Well, you must have been celebrating a lot this year, cause it seems like it has been your greatest year this far." The woman states and I hum. "It does, right? There are so many things going on, so much success and recognition for which I am thankful. And a lot of this happiness I seem to be on lately is due to (Y/N)... She makes me feel cool, but at the same time, she keeps me grounded so all of that high doesn't get to my head and makes me arrogant. Plus, she is my muse, so my success is her success as well." I state and (Y/N) chuckles. "You've written songs for her? How cute..." She coos. "Every single song is about me. I get to wake up next to him and find him scribbling on paper and when I ask him what he is doing, he always replies he had an idea while we were sleeping. And then a couple of days later he comes home with a demo and tells me to listen to it. And every time, he outdoes himself and writes an even better song than the last time. He is the greatest songwriter, I am telling you." (Y/N) chimes in, making my heart flutter as I listen to her talking about me. "There, right there. I told you she is my hypeman..." I chuckle and press my lips on her temple. "Well, when the muse looks that good, he has to do great..." The interviewer compliments her again, and she leans her head on my shoulder. "He was doing great before I even came around." (Y/N) replies, rubbing her thumb over my hand. "You guys are the coolest couple..." She coos and goes back to Luke, asking him about the new album. I look at (Y/N), finding her presence comforting, helping me take the edge of this interview.

Once we are done, we move to take our arranged seats. I don't let go of her hand for even a second, making sure to leave a peck on the back of it every few minutes. "You are nervous." She states, bringing her free hand to touch my arm. "I am not." I chuckle. "Yeah, you are. Baby, you have at least one award in your pocket. No one does this better than you. You don't need to worry." She assures me, bringing our hands up and pressing a kiss on my knuckles, just above my rings. "Darling, I have nothing to be nervous about. I am here, nominated, wearing these designer clothes. And you are here, next to me, looking like a damn queen with this red dress on, sharing this once of a lifetime experience with me. I have already won. And you are the only thing I need to feel like a winner." I state, turning to look at her. She purses her lips together, nodding her head. "Make sure to say that on your winning speech..." She replies, stepping in front of me and standing on her toes to kiss me softly. "Let's go to our seats." I murmur, even though I really wish I could just stay in this spot and make out with her.

(Y/N) seems to be more nervous than any of us as we wait for our nominations to roll in. She is bouncing her leg, biting on her acrylics, and twisting one of the rings on her fingers. I place my hand on her thigh, making her look at me and smile at her. "Win or lose, I still got you. And that's all I care." I whisper, kissing the spot under her ear. "You deserve this. The 4 of you do. But you, as an individual, deserve this the most. Those past few years were crazy for you, and you pushed through that like a rock star, cause that's exactly what you are. And if these people don't give you that award, they are going to catch these hands." She threatens, making me laugh and shake my head. "They should feel afraid..." I whisper, smiling at how fierce she is.

(Y/N) squeezes on my hand as they are about to announce the winner for album of the year. This is our last nomination, last chance for walking out of here with an award. I can hear her mumbling 'I love you' over and over again like it is some kind of prayer. "And the winner is... Youngblood by 5 Seconds of Summer. Congratulations." The announcer says on the mic, just as the chorus of Youngblood starts playing through the speakers. (Y/N) shrieks as we stand up to get on stage. I hug the guys, thanking them for being together in this before I turn to (Y/N). The guys walk ahead, but I stop for a moment, looking at (Y/N) who is already crying. I pull her in for a kiss, pretending that there is just us in the room, and she looks gorgeous in her dress and that there is not a soul looking at us. "Go get that award. Go, go..." She pushes me away, smiling at me and blowing me a kiss. I join the rest of the guys and we walk on stage as everyone applauds us. I just look at (Y/N), who looks so happy that my heart wants to burst.

We take turns saying our thank you's, thanking our producers and parents, and fans. I am the last to be handed the microphone, so I have enough time to make up a small speech. "First of all, I want to thank these guys, Ashton, Michael, Luke, for this journey. They are more than bandmates, they are more than friends, at this point they are my family... I want to thank our fans, for loving us and loving this album. Oh God, of course, my parents, for letting me pursue my dream and being so proud of me. And last but not least, I want to thank my beautiful girl, this amazing woman who seems to be more excited and happy for this award than anyone else. Damn it, I love my life right now. Thank you." I only look at her, taking in her face lighting up with happiness.

People cheer for us as we get off the stage, probably beaming with happiness. "I told you that you'd win this thing." (Y/N) whispers as we go back to our seats, smiling so much that her face will be in pain in a bit. "I think they got scared you would beat their ass if we didn't get the award." I reply and she hums. "They saved themselves by the skin of their teeth..." She says, cocking an eyebrow. "I really wanna marry you... I really do. So on the next award, I get I can say 'I thank my incredible wife'. Because calling you my wife is a dream." I whisper, causing (Y/N) to chuckle softly. "Are you proposing to me right now?" She asks and I shake my head no. "Not right now. I am just telling you my plan..." I reply, tilting her chin up and pressing my lips on hers. "I like this plan... A lot..." She whispers, rubbing her nose on mine. "Good."

My Masterlist

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letterstothemidnightsociety · 4 years

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THURSDAY OCTOBER 8, one of the longest running television shows of our time begins airing the final episodes of it’s final season. Guys, Supernatural is 15. FIFTEEN. It can practically drive a car now. As one friend put it, “that show had a Quinceañera.” And if you don’t know how significant that is, think of the last show you know of that made it to season 10. Take your time, I’ll wait.

Whoever I stole this birthday invite from, they are probably older than this show.

I started watching Supernatural in 2008. I was 19, I had just begun my journey towards Over-Worked, Under-Slept Millennial, and my best friend recommended it. I can’t really remember how the conversation went, but I’m sure at some point it was “It’s scary, and it’s got these two brothers, I’ll send you a link!” cuz we were trash and we were broke and Netflix...existed? Hulu existed, but not in the way that either of those sites work now, so we watched by...ahem...other means. It is probably why my first laptop stopped working after 3 semesters of college.

And damn, I was hooked. I don’t do scary movies and honestly, I was legit creeped out by a lot of these episodes, but it had two hot dudes who took down a monster every week and then (the real kicker) had a bigger, season-long mystery they were trying to solve. And occasionally, they got punched in their big dumb beautiful faces. If I had known what a kink was at the time, I would have said that someone was reading my dream diary.

Over the next 12 years - Let me say that again for those of you in the back - TWELVE YEARS - I had an on-again-off-again relationship with the Winchesters. It was pretty hot and heavy in the beginning. I was jumping on the back of this 67 Chevy Impala 3 years in, so I had three seasons that I bought on DVD that I binged and was caught up with season 4 by the time the midseason started to air in late January of 2009. I was introducing all my friends to Supernatural, I made several people watch the entire first disc of season 1 with me, irregardless of whether they’d asked or not. Things started to cool down towards the end of season 4 as life started picking up and I know...I caught...the tail end of season 5? I think? I distinctly remember the final scene of the final episode, but honestly, I can’t remember how much of that season I actually watched.

At that point, I considered Supernatural to be a weird pseudoaddiction. I’d be clean for a while, years even, and then Netflix caught up with consumers and I could binge whole seasons in a weekend. It’d be, oh, I could just watch an episode. Just one episode. Maybe two. And then the weekend is gone in a blaze of classic rock and rock salt and I’m left with something like but not necessarily a hangover where my feelings live. I think I did this for seasons 6 through, like, 8? Eventually, Netflix stopped putting it at the top of my dashboard and it was easier to avoid. And I said to myself, well, when they finally get to the last season, THEN I’ll go on one last run, one last big score, and watch the whole series again in one go.

But the seasons kept coming?? And they?? Didn’t stop?? Guys, I don’t know how many of you care about this but, Friends, one of the most popular sitcoms of all time that defined an entire generation had ten seasons. TEN. Supernatural is ending with fifteen! For an industry where most shows don’t make it past a pilot, let alone a season 1, this is INSANE.

But now it’s ending. Even though a pandemic halted production just two episodes away from the finale, Supernatural is finally outta cassette tapes. The Wayward Sons may finally (??) be laying their wearied heads to rest (?? lol, I know).

And frankly, 2020’s been a real sh*tshow so I thought “Why not?”

And if I’m doing this and I’m not interacting with anyone on a human level, I might as well chronicle this epic dive into a time capsule of television because frankly, what the hell else am I doing?

Cuz that’s what this is guys. 15 years in TV time is multiple lifespans. Shows are born, grow into something Emmy-worthy, and die in less time than Supernatural has been on the air. You know what else aired their pilot episode in 2005? The American version of The Office. You know when The Office ended? 2013.

So let’s talk about pilots because that in and of itself may be a thing of the past not too far from now.

Guys, I love pilots. I will probably say this a lot over the next, uhhhh...many months, but I love pilots and I love season ones, especially for a sci-fi and fantasy shows because that’s where your characters are at their most vulnerable, their most unsure. The writers and producers are really digging around, trying to figure out what the groundwork for this world is and there’s something so exciting about exploring it with them, as an audience.

Pilot’s are great, pilots on spec are even better, and that’s a lot of what the Supernatural Pilot feels like. It’s got a real indie/guerilla-style horror movie vibe, like the crew scraped together just enough cash for that one special effect scene but had to skimp out on a lot of the other production stuff, and still managed to turn something around that is totally, 100% watchable and somehow more charming than if they’d had the budget to make something really polished? Go watch Night of the Living Dead (1968) and tell me that movie would have been better if they’d had a bigger budget. You could, but I won’t agree.

Ok so a quick break down of technical terms. A television pilot is basically the first episode of a TV show. Well, that’s not exactly true. A pilot is kind of like making a sample or a blueprint of your show that you hand over to the television networks and say, here! This is what my TV show will look like. Will you pay me money to continue making it? And the networks (think ABC, NBC, CBS, FOX and The CW - remember, this is Network, not cable) will spend January through April of every year reviewing pilots and deciding if they want to pay you money to make more episodes. Well, every year except 2020. See: sh*tshow. Sometimes the network comes to you with an idea, or maybe, you’ve pitched your script/show to some executives and they buy in for that first pilot episode to see where things will go. Neither of these scenarios are a sure thing, and pilot season is always rife with will-they-won’t-they tension. In fact, if you’re working on the show, there’s a real possibility that pilot will get re-shot after studio notes, you’ll lose your job to someone the studio liked better, and then the show still may not get picked up. A pilot shot on spec is in even more of a limbo scenario because nobody asked for this! And just to follow through on Pilot Season - after the networks decide to buy your pilot, they then air the pilot at Upfronts (usually in May) where their many ad companies decide if they will pay money to air their ads during those shows. This is where we get things like prime time and key demographics - if you thought TV was all about the art, you are very wrong. TV, like most other industries, is still a business that’s about making money.

Back to the Supernatural pilot. Now, from my research, series creator Eric Kripke had been working on the concept for 10 years. He was big into classic rock, big into urban legends and big into cowboys and all those things get married ever so neatly in this show. A lot of his initial ideas remain unchanged, at least for the first season - he wants two brothers, traveling across the country, facing off with America’s Spookiest Myths and legends. A lot of it did change. I honestly feel like I remember reading an early draft of the pilot where Sam and Dean are cowboys? But I’m also pretty sure I’m imaging that. What I’m not imagining is this ridiculous early draft where John’s been locked in an insane asylum, dies before the first episode starts, and Sam’s been living with an aunt and uncle his whole life and knows nothing. They still use something close enough to the La Llorona legend as the catalyst for the episode, but a lot of other things are changed. This is not the Sam and Dean we come to know and love. This is also a good example of when you SHOULD listen to notes, because this draft was rewritten after executive producer McG and his Wonderland Sound and Vision production company signed on, but before they actually shot the script.

Now from what I’ve read, the WB picked the show up for (4) episodes initially, and ultimately picked it up for a full season of (22) episodes. This was, at the time, a pretty standard season and a pretty standard way to get it. They had a better deal than The Office, anyway, which only got picked up for (6) episodes in their first season, then got picked up four episodes at a time for season 2.

Now let’s go over that paragraph one more time and talk about what a hecking DINOSAUR this show is -

FIRST off - Supernatural premiered on THE WB. It PREDATES The CW!!

Man guys, you remember they had a frog as a mascot? Oof, that would not work today.

Secondly, it got 22 EPISODES. We’ll get into this some more when we talk about that evil bugs filler ep, but think about how many episodes were in the last show that you binged on Netflix? 8? Maybe 10?

Welcome to the exciting world of GRAPHS brought to you buy https://www.theringer.com/tv/2017/8/4/16094348/inefficiency-week-mourning-the-lost-long-tv-season

OH! And SPEAKING of Netflix and streaming services like them, they’re kind of killing pilot season AND upfronts. They pick up shows when they want to. They “air” them when they feel like. There are no ads because you pay for that content on a monthly basis and also they don’t even have commercial breaks. I am slowly seeing the passage of time in one (1) episode of television and I think I’ve aged 100 years.

Here is just one of MANY articles about the death of Pilot Season

Finally, and most importantly, this show got a better deal than The Office. And that show was an NBC primetime show.

This show was nominated for 193 awards and won 50. And it ended when my nephew was still in kindergarten. He’s gonna be in high school next year.

So what about this Supernatural Pilot? Was it any good? Honestly, I’m gonna say yeah. This is some very solid Hero’s Journey here. I think the only weird thing about it is that Sam is our Hero, our point of contact character that gets us into this world. And I only say that because I’ll be real up front and say that I’m a Dean girl through and through. I don’t hate Sam, but because we live in a world where we have to choose, it’s Dean 4Eva.

From that early script draft, we learn the plan was for Sam to be in the dark and essentially be our audience stand in so that Dean can explain all the backstory. I think the decision to make John Winchester raise his kids as a weird fringe paramilitary outfit and establish Sam as the brother that tried to get away is a good one. It’s a very “Arrive Late” (or if you’re fancy, in media res,) sort of attitude and it works and you’ve already started building in the Atonement with the Father. There’s still some pretty excellent exposition dialogue, but what are ya gonna do. Sam, did you really need to explain to Dean that your collective father “raised you like warriors”? Or that you “kill everything we CAN find?” It’s fine. You’re beautiful and I love you. But also, he knows all that.

You have the Call to Adventure - Dean showing up and saying “Dad hasn’t been home in a few days.” You have the refusal of the call (“He’ll sleep it off”). You have your supernatural aid (hah!) giving Sam a push out the door - that’s Dean. You have your famous line that I quoted along with the TV - Dad’s on a hunting trip. And he hasn’t been home in a few days.

The dead mom backstory seems pretty on the nose, but the “burned on the ceiling” concept was new and unique enough that I was intrigued to find out more. Listen, I’ve already admitted I don’t watch a lot of horror so if this has been done before, don’t @ me.

La Llorona or Woman in White or Weeping Woman was a new trope to me at the time, so it too seemed fresh. I see that myth show up in a lot more Supernatural-type shows now, but in 2008, at 19, I was like, oh this is different. Not to mention - this definitely leaned in to the horror aspect. I know I’m a baby, but it aired at 9pm, which is the more adult side of Prime Time, so the WB thought it was too spooky for kids who had early bedtimes. So there.

I HATE when they do this cuz it freaks me out EVERY TIME and THAT’S NOT EVEN HOW THESE MIRRORS WORK??? SHE’S NOT EVEN IN THE BACK SEAT IN THIS SHOT!

And then at the END, when Sam STILL refuses the call to adventure, you have the real Crossing of the Threshold - Jess is ALSO stuck on the ceiling, dead, and on fire. Spoiler alert, but they had to fridge her early to make the rest of the season work and so it shouldn’t be a big surprise. Sam’s all in and we get 21 more episodes of him and Dean and that car.

Is it technically fridging if she’s lit on fire?

And let’s talk about Jess for a second cuz actress Adrianne Palicki is giving a LOT more in this performance than a fridged girlfriend should be required to. She’s likeable, she’s down to earth, she’s crushing it and and all this with only, like, two scenes of dialogue. I say this even though we meet her in a slutty nurse costume - COME on WB.

WB what the hell is this wardrobe. What the HELL is THIS.

In fact, all of the extras in this show are crushing it? Louis is instantly likeable and he disappears after his first scene, never to grace our TV’s again. And these extras in the town in Jericho, California - I kind of love them. As CW (or I guess, WB) as Jessica is, these extras look like they found them at the local highschool and I LOVE THEM FOR IT. They probably came to set already in makeup and wardrobe! They POSSIBLY brought their own jewelry! They’re weirdos and they are GREAT. I’m pretty sure this will NEVER happen again on this show because once the $$ came in, so did the more polished-looking one-off characters.

Lookit these magnificent goth weirdos! And great news, both these actresses have very full, non-goth careers after this.

Also, heckin’ Joseph Welch is just crushing it. This man has NOTHING CW about him and that’s maybe why I like him so much? Everything about the scene with him and Sam is pretty heartbreaking, from his rundown car graveyard to his rundown physique with his rundown accent to the fact that we never actually see his face. Seriously, really LOOK at this scene - WHAT is going on with this cinematography? Is this a reference to something? It’s SO bleached out and SO stark and WHAT is going on???

WHAT is this lighting? And also this guy was played by Steve Railsback was on X-Files!

You can’t talk about Supernatural without talking about the chemistry between Sam and Dean and that’s probably the real hook here? I mean a) very beautiful. I will probably talk about this a lot. Let’s call it what it is here, they’re beefcakes and they’re made for me and people like me. It is weird that this show is so macho but their primary audience was mostly there for the babes. And by babes I mean Jensen Ackles and Jared Padalecki. And b) they REALLY sell the whole brothers thing. They’re both from Austin, TX which feels like a weird coincidence. They were both already on WB shows before this one, also a weird coincidence. And they just click. They just do. It’s impressive, and occasionally creepy when we start to get into the Wincest of it all, but lets not talk about that.

Oh, and the MUSIC! The music just makes it. If you don’t believe me, watch the Netflix version of the first season and then find yourself a DVD version. See, TV shows need to acquire a license to play popular music during the show. Nowadays, the CW actually tags their songs in the episode so you can find and presumably buy it later, but they still have to pay royalties for using those pop songs. When Netflix acquired Supernatural, they did NOT acquire the licensing to use the classic rock songs from ACDC, Metallica, etc. and so you’re left with some pretty bland and generic production music that’s something like but not necessarily Back in Black. More like, Back in...Grey? This pun didn't work how I wanted it to.

And the show just...doesn’t work? Like, who knew BACKINBLAAAAACK! Was so instrumental to whether I thought this was quality programming or not. Side note - it ruins my favorite piece of dialogue of maybe the entire series -

Sam: I swear, man, you gotta update your cassette tape collection.

Dean: Why?

Sam: Well, for one, they're cassette tapes.

Do the young people even know what a cassette tape is? I AM the CRYPTKEEPER.

So yeah, you got a lot of ingredients to make something pretty great. Did we know then that it would launch a juggernaut of a television program that would still be on the air in the Year of Our Reckoning, 2020? I was a big fan of Firefly, so I was 99.99% sure this show was gonna get canceled at any second. In fact, I was thrilled, in 2008, to find there were two more seasons after the one I was currently watching. Of course, season 3 aired around the time of the great Writer’s Strike of ‘07, where nothing looked good and few programs survived, but we’ll get there.

In a final, kind of spooky, almost premonition-type decision the WB actually decided to air this pilot episode a whole week early on Yahoo!. Yeah, you remember Yahoo!, right? The search engine that briefly tried to have its own original streaming content and then we all abandoned it in favor of the monster that is Google? Yeah. This episode premiered online. I haven’t done enough research, but I’m gonna go out on a limb here and say this was probably one of the first ever TV shows to start on the internet? Weird to think that was a novel and innovative concept at one time.

So this is it. This is the end of the era. Are we gonna get any more shows that last as long as this one did? Who knows. Are we as a culture gonna care at that point? I don’t know. Our TV habits have changed so much in the last few years that it’s hard to say how we’ll watch TV in the future. But credit where it’s due, boys. Nice huntin’.

#Supernatural #season 1 #pilot #season 15 #Sam #Dean #Winchester #Television #Quarantine Binging #CW #WB

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unexpectedreylo · 4 years

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Into Exile I Must Go

Here we are folks.

Two years ago my world got turned upside down by a couple of space wizards and what a two years it has been. Countless hours of time and amounts of treasure have been spent obsessing over the strange love between Kylo and Rey (”strangelove, strange highs and strange lows, strangelove, that’s how my love goes, strangelove, will you give it to me, will you take the pain I will give to you again and again and will you return it?”) and honestly, it’s been the most fun I’ve had in 27 years of doing fandom stuff. Sure, it’s not always sunshine and butterflies, nothing is. But when Reylos are at their best, they are untouchable in their generosity, creativity, and passion. Before I saw TLJ, I wondered if my fangirl days were behind me, that maybe I was getting too old for squeeing over characters and their relationships. Reylo was the spark that burned down my ennui and cynicism.

I wish I’d been able to contribute more. I cranked out some metas and some fan fic. I can’t draw or design cool fan-made merch. I lack the time and skills for things like videos or podcasts. I didn’t get to go to fan gatherings like the Reylo reception at SWCC or these planned Reylo TROS screenings. There are no Waffle Houses in California. I’m not young and I’d doubt if these younger fans would have any time listening to an old bat like me.

Still, even following from the rear has added a joy to life that helped smooth over its inevitable bumps and depressions. Afterblossom’s brilliant “The Little Mermaid and The Sea Serpent” got me through a stressful time at work, followed by a family member’s suicide in January. A funny fan art or a thought-provoking meta or a pro-Reylo Tweet from a random company always brightened my day.

After years of not collecting much, I now have a small sub-collection of anything Ben Swolo, thousands of fan art on my hard drive, t-shirts, mugs, stickers, jewelry, and enamel pins. Boy do I have a lot of Reylo enamel pins!

Reylo got me into reading and posting fan fiction on AO3, and because of the latter, I can now say I’m a Hugo Award-winning author, LOL. I never got a huge audience for my work but I still enjoyed writing those stories.

Part of the fun has been thirsting over Adam/Kylo with likeminded fans and watching his meteoric ascendance toward stardom. During Adam’s run on “Burn This,” it had been vicarious fun reading about fans getting to see him perform live and meet him at stage door, plus seeing all of the photos and videos.

Anticipating TROS has been a big part of Reylo-dom too. Remember Hair Watch 2018 and how worried we were that Kylo’s hair wasn’t going to be long enough? It seems like it wasn’t all that long ago! We looked for updates during filming until it wrapped in February, worrying over makeup and deciphering mood board poems. Then we got costume leaks, the first trailer in April, the Vanity Fair covers in June, more footage in late August, the final trailer in October, and now daily t.v. spots. All of the while, we’d been saying to ourselves, “Oh look, the Reylos were right again.”

Now years have been reduced to days, soon to hours. It’s exciting and scary at the same time. The tragedy of Reylo for me is that I got invested so now it matters to me what happens to them. With Anidala, I knew what I was getting. With Han and Leia, I was pretty sure they were going to end up together. With Reylo, it’s a drive down a dark highway. All we could do is speculate and hope that we’re tuned into whatever ideas the filmmakers used to conclude the story. My wish is that my space trash children find happiness and bring balance to the Force and that the film we get is worthy of the devotion Reylo fans have shown.

The world premiere is tonight and the review embargo is lifted on December 17. Once the premiere is over, I am staying off Twitter, Facebook, and Tumblr until I see the movie on December 20. Not only am I avoiding spoilers, I am also avoiding others’ opinions. I want to form my own views about the movie instead of letting others color it for me.

Once I come back on the 20th, I will first post just my first impressions of the film and what we got right vs. what we got wrong. I have tickets to see it a second time on the 23rd so I’ll a post a more detailed review afterward.

Even if we don’t get what we want out of this movie, I think Reylo is a shot across the bow. We live in an era where “romance is dead” and Hollywood’s stories reflect a cynicism about love so we more often than not are disappointed in the stories they tell. There’s also a tendency to dismiss storytelling that appeals to women or to diminish women’s participation in fandom. But Reylo demonstrates ships or romances build investment and loyalty like nothing else does. The industry needs to pay attention to that.

So don’t think that we wasted our time. Whether we get the ending we want or not, we have to push for less baiting, better written stories and characters, and maybe some HEAs in the bargain.

MTFBWY my 1,236 followers I acquired over two years and see you on the flip side. We’ll have lots to talk about.

#reylo #reylo fandom #reylo fam #tros #bendemption #rey x kylo ren #rey x ben

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aion-rsa · 4 years

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Emmy Awards 2020 Predictions and Analysis

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After several years of, let’s say, improved taste, the Emmy Awards backslid a bit last year. Sure, it was nice to see Fleabag get the recognition it deserved. But that recognition came along with a Game of Thrones final season onslaught that nobody asked for.

With Thrones firmly in the rearview, the 2020 Emmy Awards have a chance to welcome in some new blood. And with an eclectic list of first-time nominees like The Mandalorian, The Morning Show, and Watchmen they may be able to do just that! Below you can find all the major categories that will be announced during the 2020 Emmy Award ceremony at 8 p.m. ET on Sept. 20 on ABC. We have indicated what shows we think will win in bold and what shows should win in italics.

Outstanding Drama Series

Better Call Saul

The Crown

The Handmaid’s Tale

Killing Eve

The Mandalorian

Ozark

Stranger Things

Succession

Who Will Win: The Emmy Awards have a preoccupation with HBO dramas and who could blame them? For the better part of 30 years, HBO has been the go-to spot for brilliant television drama. That preoccupation went too far last year though with the choice of the questionable final season of Game of Thrones. Thankfully, this year’s HBO choice won’t be nearly as onerous. Succession season 2 is a superb year of television.

Who Should Win: Though Succession is a wonderful TV series and a fine choice for Outstanding Drama, the real winner here should be Better Call Saul. Vince Gilligan’s Breaking Bad prequel just gets better with age and arguably reached its apex with its fifth season.

Outstanding Comedy Series

Curb Your Enthusiasm

Dead to Me

Insecure

Schitt’s Creek

The Good Place

The Kominsky Method

The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel

What We Do in the Shadows

Who Will Win: The Emmys have largely ignored Schitt’s Creek’s existence up to this point but could no longer do so in its final season. The little Canadian show that could took in an impressive 16 nominations – the most for any comedy in its final season. And the Emmys didn’t hand out all those nominations just to leave the show hanging at the podium. Schitt’s Creek will win big throughout the night, including taking home Outstanding Comedy Series

Who Should Win: We have no complaints with Schitt’s Creek winning Outstanding Comedy Series to honor its contributions to television and comedy for the past six years. But for the purposes of choosing 2020’s best comedy, What We Do in the Shadows has to be it. Shadows was at its absolute best in season 2, a year that contained zombies, witches, and one Jackie Daytona, normal human bartender.

Outstanding Limited Series

Little Fires Everywhere

Mrs. America

Unbelievable

Unorthodox

Watchmen

Who Will Win: Watchmen will win. Obviously.

Who Should Win: Unbelievable is a remarkable piece of work. Mrs. America more than lives up to its potential. But let’s not overthink this one – Watchmen was arguably the best thing on television this past year and will likely be remembered for years to come. It’s the only choice here.

Outstanding Television Movie

American Son

Bad Education

Dolly Parton’s Heartstrings: These Old Bones

El Camino: A Breaking Bad Movie

Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt: Kimmy vs. The Reverend

Who Will Win: The Emmys always like to honor big name film actors like Hugh Jackman when they can. This time they get to do so and select the best TV movie of the year to boot.

Who Should Win: Dolly Parton’s Heartstrings is great but not really a TV Movie and slipped in here as a technicality. The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt interactive special was wonderfully executed. But Bad Education is as deserving as any.

Outstanding Reality/Competition Program

The Masked Singer

Nailed It!

RuPaul’s Drag Race

Top Chef

The Voice

Who Will Win: RuPaul’s Drag Race has won this honor for the past two years and there’s no reason to believe it can’t be victorious again.

Who Should Win: It would be nice to see Netflix’s charming Nailed It! take home the top prize. And though The Masked Singer is certainly a corny endeavor, one cannot argue that the show hasn’t executed its concept perfectly.

Outstanding Variety/Talk Series

The Daily Show with Trevor Noah

Full Frontal with Samantha Bee

Jimmy Kimmel Live

Last Week Tonight with John Oliver

The Late Show with Stephen Colbert

Who Will Win: At this point, for as long as Last Week Tonight with John Oliver is on television, there’s no reason why it shouldn’t be expected to take home the Outstanding Variety/Talk Series trophy.

Who Should Win: And there’s a reason for Last Week Tonight’s dominance. The category has gotten weaker in recent years with many talk shows understandably working on expanding their respective brands into the digital space. Last Week Tonight does the most research, has the best writing staff, and the most appealing host. It’s the best show of its kind on television and will likely continue to be so for quite awhile.

Outstanding Animated Program

Big Mouth

Bob’s Burgers

BoJack Horseman

Rick and Morty

The Simpsons

Who Will Win: The Emmys do enjoy honoring series in their last season. The fact that BoJack Horseman’s last season was truly superb is just icing on the cake.

Who Should Win: Rick and Morty’s creative demise is not as steep as some cultural commentators would have you believe. It would be a decent choice here. As would the relentless charming Bob’s Burgers, which just keeps getting better. But BoJack Horseman deserves this trophy for a pitch-perfect final season that brilliantly blends the series comedic and dramatic impulses.

Outstanding Lead Actress in a Drama Series

Jennifer Aniston, The Morning Show

Olivia Colman, The Crown

Jodie Comer, Killing Eve

Laura Linney, Ozark

Sandra Oh, Killing Eve

Zendaya, Euphoria

Who Will Win: At first glance, Aniston seems like a solid possibility for her work on The Morning Show. She has the biggest name recognition and the world’s most valuable company marshaling its resources behind her. But something tells us that Olivia Colman is the surer bet. The Emmys have always been fond of The Crown. And after Colman took home an Oscar for The Favourite, the Academy of Television Arts and Sciences might be eager to remind folks what medium Colman is best known for.

Who Should Win: Anyone would be a fine choice here, really. We will go with Zendaya for the degree of humanity she brought to a truly difficult role.

Outstanding Lead Actor in a Drama Series

Jason Bateman, Ozark

Sterling K. Brown, This Is Us

Steve Carell, The Morning Show

Brian Cox, Succession

Billy Porter, Pose

Jeremy Strong, Succession

Who Will Win: Billy Porter was a pleasant surprise last year but this time around the Emmys likely won’t be able to resist the allure of Succession. Either Brian Cox or Jeremy Strong are extremely likely to win this. We will guess Cox as his Golden Globe win is likely fresh in voters’ minds.

Who Should Win: Being the lead on a prestige HBO drama often means getting to play with a pretty showy role. Jeremy Strong’s beaten down Kendall Roy is anything but showy and that just makes the actor’s performance all the more impressive. The consequences of a lifetime of outrageous wealth and outrageous paternal neglect play out mostly between Strong’s ears in a superb, subtle performance.

Outstanding Lead Actress in a Comedy Series

Christina Applegate, Dead to Me

Rachel Brosnahan, The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel

Linda Cardellini, Dead to Me

Catherine O’Hara, Schitt’s Creek

Issa Rae, Insecure

Tracee Ellis Ross, Black-ish

Who Will Win: It’s likely to be a big night for Schitt’s Creek but even if it isn’t, all involved can be pretty certain that they’re taking home at least this award. Catherine O’Hara is Schitt’s Creeks MVP and here she becomes the show’s Emmy firewall.

Who Should Win: O’Hara absolutely should win for her consistently larger-than-life performance. It’s a shame we won’t be able to honor Issa Rae with a statue this year though.

Outstanding Lead Actor in a Comedy Series

Anthony Anderson, Black-ish

Don Cheadle, Black Monday

Ted Danson, The Good Place

Michael Douglas, The Kominsky Method

Eugene Levy, Schitt’s Creek

Ramy Youssef, Ramy

Who Will Win: Look, we’re just betting big on Schitt’s Creek around these parts. Comedy all-timer Levy has won an Emmy for writing but never for performance and that seems bound to change this year.

Who Should Win: We have absolutely no problem with Levy getting his first acting Emmy. But Ted Danson would be the slightly better pick this time around. His performance as Michael on The Good Place is one of TV’s most human creations…despite Michael being a demon.

Outstanding Lead Actress in a Limited Series/TV Movie

Cate Blanchett, Mrs. America

Shira Haas, Unorthodox

Regina King, Watchmen

Octavia Spencer, Self Made

Kerry Washington, Little Fires Everywhere

Who Will Win: Lock this one in. Empty out your savings and 401k and take it all to the betting markets.

Who Should Win: Duh.

Outstanding Lead Actor in a Limited Series/TV Movie

Jeremy Irons, Watchmen

Hugh Jackman, Bad Education

Paul Mescal, Normal People

Jeremy Pope, Hollywood

Mark Ruffalo, I Know This Much Is True

Who Will Win: It’s tempting to make fun of the Emmys preoccupation with big name film talent as a reason for giving Mark Ruffalo this award. In fact, this award in recent years has been all but reserved for film stars “slumming it” on television. But the truth is that Ruffalo gives a spectacular performance in I Know This Much is True and is certainly worthy of recognition.

Who Should Win: Also worthy of recognition in Paul Mescal for his warm, human performance on Normal People.

Outstanding Supporting Actress in a Drama Series

Laura Dern, Big Little Lies

Meryl Streep, Big Little Lies

Fiona Shaw, Killing Eve

Julia Garner, Ozark

Sarah Snook, Succession

Helena Bonham Carter, The Crown

Samira Wiley, The Handmaid’s Tale

Thandie Newton, Westworld

Who Will Win: Julia Garner won this award last year and has done nothing to lose it since. But if Succession is destined for a big night, Sarah Snook is likely to be a part of it.

Who Should Win: Snook should win anyway for her performance this year. Until Kendall pulls off his major finale maneuver, Snook’s Shiv is undoubtedly the character who grows the most in Succession’s second season.

Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Drama Series

Giancarlo Esposito, Better Call Saul

Nicholas Braun, Succession

Kieran Culkin, Succession

Matthew Macfadyen, Succession

Bradley Whitford, The Handmaid’s Tale

Billy Crudup, The Morning Show

Mark Duplass, The Morning Show

Jeffrey Wright, Westworld

Who Will Win: Look, Succession is really good. And Kieran Culkin gets to play one of the show’s flashier characters.

Who Should Win: Culkin’s castmate Matthew Macfadyen deserves consideration here but in the end it’s hard to justify anyone other than Kieran winning.

Outstanding Supporting Actress in a Comedy Series

Betty Gilpin, GLOW

Yvonne Orji, Insecure

Kate McKinnon, Saturday Night Live

Cecily Strong, Saturday Night Live

Annie Murphy, Schitt’s Creek

D’Arcy Carden, The Good Place

Alex Borstein, the Marvelous Mrs. Maisel

Marin Hinkle, The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel

Who Will Win: This might be the hardest award to predict of the night. Though Borstein and Hinkle are wonderful, The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel feels like a bit of an afterthought this year. And who knows if Schitt’s Creek’s big run will make it all the way down to the supporting category. Gilpin and Orji are very intriguing but in the absence of a sure thing, this feels like a year in which the Emmys could return to McKinnon.

Who Should Win: It’s hard to think of someone in the TV landscape more deserving of an Emmy than D’Arcy Carden for her work on The Good Place. The actress has taken a Siri-like digital assistant of the afterlife and transformed it (not a girl) into a full-fledged character.

Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Comedy Series

Andre Braugher, Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Mahershala Ali, Ramy

Kenan Thompson, Saturday Night Live

Dan Levy, Schitt’s Creek

William Jackson Harper, The Good Place

Alan Arkin, The Kominksy Method

Sterling K. Brown, The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel

Tony Shalhoub, The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel

Who Will Win: This is a particularly stacked category that is hard to pick. And when that happens at the Emmys, a good rule of thumb is to go with recency bias – who has won the most awards recently? Multiple Oscar award-winner Mahershala Ali fits the bill here but Shalhoub and Arkin are also appealing in that regard. Levy could ride the Schitt’s Creek wave as well.

Who Should Win: It’s quite frankly asinine that Andre Braugher has not won an Emmy yet for his nuanced, yet still utterly hilarious performance as Captain Raymond Holt on Brooklyn Nine-Nine. Portrayals of police officers are particularly fraught this year but Braugher deserves some recognition all the same.

Outstanding Writing for a Drama Series

Gordon Smith – Better Call Saul “Bagman”

Thomas Schnauz – Better Call Saul “Bad Choice Road”

Chris Mundy – Ozark “All In”

John Shiban – Ozark “Boss Fight”

Miki Johnson – Ozark “Fire Pink”

Jesse Armstong – Succession “This is Not for Tears”

Peter Morgan – The Crown “Aberfan”

Who Will Win: This is a strong category. Sometimes writing awards can be seen as a consolation prize for excellent series that can’t otherwise pick up the biggest honor of the night. Should that formula hold true, one of the two Better Call Saul entries has a shot, but the allure of Succession will likely prove too strong this year.

Who Should Win: Both Better Call Saul options are worthy of an Emmy. But the writing of season 5’s penultimate episode “Bad Choice Road” is brilliant and absolutely teeming with tension.

Outstanding Writing for a Comedy Series

Daniel Levy – Schitt’s Creek “Happy Ending”

David West Read – Schitt’s Creek “The Presidential Suite”

Michael Schur – The Good Place “Whenever You’re Ready”

Tony McNamara – The Great “The Great”

Sam Johnson and Chris Marcil – What We Do in the Shadows “Collaboration”

Paul Simms – What We Do in the Shadows “Ghosts”

Stefani Robinson – What We Do in the Shadows “On the Run”

Who Will Win: “Happy Ending” is the platonic ideal of a comedy series finale. It’s perfectly executed with callbacks, humor, and heart. The Emmys will be happy to award it.

Who Should Win: “Happy Ending” is a superb choice but any half hour of television that features Matt Berry living a life as a bartender in Pennsylvania just cannot be allowed to lose. Justice for Jackie Daytona!

Outstanding Writing for a Limited Series or Special

Tanya Barfield – Mrs. America “Shirley”

Sally Rooney and Alice Birch – Normal People “Episode 3”

Susannah Grant, Michael Chabon, and Ayelet Wadman – Unbelievable “Episode 1”

Anna Winger – Unorthodox “Episode 1”

Damon Linelof and Cord Jefferson – Watchmen “This Extraordinary Being”

Who Will Win: A good rule of thumb for this year’s Emmy Awards is that if Watchmen is in a category, it’s going to win that category. Such is the case here.

Who Should Win: “This Extraordinary Being” deserves to win. Lindelof and Jefferson’s script was the starting point for a stunning episode of television that presented an idea so radical (and yet so logical) it inspired Lindelof and HBO to reimagine an already near-perfect graphic novel.

Outstanding Directing in a Drama Series

Leslie Linka Glatter – Homeland “Prisoners of War”

Alik Sakharov – Ozark “Fire Pink”

Ben Semanoff – Ozark “Su Casa Es Mi Casa”

Andrij Parekh – Succession “Hunting”

Mark Mylod – Succession “This is Not for Tears”

Benjamin Caron – The Crown “Aberfan”

Jessica Hobbs – The Crown “Cri de Coeur”

Mimi Leder – The Morning Show “The Interview”

Who Will Win: The Emmys really love Ozark. And they should! It’s a good show. Having said that, the dominance of Succession will likely close off a lot of opportunities for the series this year. But it should be able to at least squeak this one out.

Who Should Win: Ironically, this is the one award that Succession really should win this year above all else. Mark Mylod’s direction of “This is Not for Tears” is a minor miracle, turning a sun-drenched day on a luxury yacht into a tense, paranoid thriller.

Outstanding Directing in a Comedy Series

Gail Mancuso – Modern Family “Finale Part 2”

Ramy Youssef – Ramy “Miakhalia.mov”

Andrew Civdino and Daniel Levy – Schitt’s Creek “Happy Ending”

Matt Shakman – The Great “The Great”

Amy Sherman-Palladino – The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel “It’s Comedy or Cabbage”

Daniel Palladino – The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel “Marvelous Radio”

James Burrows – Will & Grace “We Love Lucy”

Who Will Win: It’s a little weird to see the Modern Family series finale in a category and not be favored to win. For years, the Emmys heaped statues upon this very good but not all-time classic comedy. In the end, the Academy will instead opt to honor the tasteful direction of another series finale in Schitt’s Creek.

Who Should Win: The Great has a real argument here with its drama-level production design assisting director Matt Shakman. But at the end of the day, “Happy Ending” accomplishes exactly what it needs to accomplish and is a fine choice.

Outstanding Direction for a Limited Series or Special

Lynn Shetlon – Little Fires Everywhere “Find a Way”

Lenny Abrahamson – Normal People “Episode 5”

Maria Schrader – Unorthodox

Nicole Kassell – Watchmen “It’s Summer and We’re Running Out of Ice”

Stephen Green – Watchmen “Little Fear of Lightning”

Stephen Williams – Watchmen “This Extraordinary Being”

Who Will Win: Watchmen will win this category. It’s only a question of which episode. The premiere, “It’s Summer and We’re Running Out of Ice” thanks to the two stunning setpieces guided by Nicole Kassell.

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Who Should Win: And “It’s Summer…” is the right choice in the end. “Little Fear of Lightning” and “This Extraordinary Being” are both superb but credit always goes to the premiere director for establishing a visual tone for the rest of a series.

The post Emmy Awards 2020 Predictions and Analysis appeared first on Den of Geek.

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migleefulmoments · 4 years

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"Hahaha. A friend pointed this out. W online shops too!" What does this even mean?! I don't know anyone in 2020 who doesn't online shop besides my 80 year old grandparents because they refuse to learn how to use a computer 😂 I don't get how Will, a 30 something year old man, online shopping is worthy enough for Abby to comment on it. I'm sure Chris does it too. And Darren.

On Nov 5, Darren wrote this post and the cc fandom lost their shit.

They decided that organizing 10 costumes for multiple events in two different states for two different people was not worthy of acknowledgment- especially since they wore several purchased costumes. They spent the next 30-ish days mocking her “online shopping skills” like the petty idiots they are and now they bring it up two months later.

Anonymous asked: this is funny, C posted a photo of beard, D posted photos with the beard. Almost like they were sitting next to each other and saying “ok ok I will say this”

ajw720 answered: The only difference, C controls his SM and the bearding, D does not, but they knew the Halloween post was coming when C posted his belated b-day wishes (not that he acknowledged they were late).

It really is, if you can remove the very human, tragic element, like a script for a really bad D Movie. C posts “Happy Birthday, Babe!” a day after the man’s actual b-day and “D” praises his fake bride for MAKING TEN costumes. Sure praise her if she actually designed them and sat with her sewing machine. No, she went online and ordered things (I doubt she even went to a store). And 3 couple costumes were cheap frankly. The only thought was how narcissistic she could be in their execution (as @flowersintheattic254pointed out even the Mario costume had a reason, it was a reminder of Japan and the fake encagement by referring to the ad that paid for their trip there).

And seriously how are people not questioning that she spent the entirety of her month picking TEN costumes? Who has time for this? I know, i know, a person whose only role in life is to play fake plus one.

I am just so tired by D in particular being utterly dragged down by the useless dead weight by his side and his team’s sole ambition to promote her and make her sound like a decent person.

If they wanted to praise her, maybe they should have forced her to participate in the zero waste initiative instead of sitting drinking by the pool or have her volunteer to help young girls who have been kicked out of their homes, or have been raped. Or pick any cause and truly volunteer her time to promote it. If she is not going to actually get a job and pursue a career, please force her to do something that is actually of value and contribute something good to the world. But to praise her for picking TEN costumes?

Praise that comes from a man who this year alone won three awards, is starring in a show he created and wrote the music for, has his first big movie premiere this week, is exec producer and star of a huge show on N/etflix, just announced his starring role with 2 A++ lists actors next spring on Broadway, celebrated the 5th anniversary of the festival he created, volunteered his time for the zero waste initiative, performed at several charity events, and was just yesterday name limited series actor of the decade. Where is the praise for him from his “bride”? He at least deserves it.

How do they not see how ridiculous it is for someone with D’s accomplishments in 2019 alone praise a person for purchasing TEN costumes for Halloween? And stans, how do you accept that this is right or normal. You really know nothing about him and have such little respect for him as a person if you continue to accept the character his idiotic team has created on his behalf. It is so far from the person he is and that he generally holds himself out to be when given the opportunity.

This isn’t about being a “gay fetishist” or “hating woman” this is about wanting for D to be fairly and accurately represented and no longer forced to participate in this stupid, life sucking game to promote a person that contributes absolutely nothing to the world. If you want to have a strong female role model, there are so many, i’ve talked about a few in the past few days (thus far Nancy, Lea, and Phoebe) and will continue to do so, but please stop worshiping a person whose sole reason you are speaking about her is her connection to D, even if you refuse to accept it is fake.

klainecentric Finished reading the funniest ig story of the day, the qween being praised for sitting in front of either a sewing machine or computer...bravo your majesty qween....your my hero well done.👏👏. And all I can think of is how irrelevant the statement D made about being an emotional horder, being a very private person and finally D saying he's lazy when it comes to social media, I'm internally screaming in frustration because yeah we know D wouldn't have written a post praising that lazy good for nothing waste of space but he's coming across as a lier and it's extremely damaging to his character as a person. I absolutely hate lying and every time another "private" moment is posted to the world is another small piece that's chipped away from what D has originally stated about privacy. PBB, nobody cares about your cheap arse highly flammable costumes you buy online, did you forget about your piano baby adult strip club. I'm sure there are still plenty of people out there you can hire to rub and flaunt their flanges all over the beer taps, why don't you keep busy on that instead. If you want to make costumes, I'm sure you can sew some mighty fine titty tassels together. It'll be cheap nasty, sound familiar.

souly So, let me get this straight. We should all praise a person for going online, looking up different costumes in online stores, putting those in their shopping basket and hitting “buy”? Because I do that at least once a week with other stuff. Do I get praised for that now? Pretty please? I’m doing good work there and buy a lot of stuff, therefore I must be the best person ever!

notes-from-nowhere You’re my Queen. Please, love me.

souly

(I think I got it right. I’m getting the hang of what said person is doing. Wheee! ;))

notes-from-nowhere You nailed it 🤣

ajw720 Yesterday I got a delivery of car food. And instead of his usual seafood mix up greats, I got him shrimp flavor. I’m awesome!!!!!

souly Oh, hey! I think we should all take pictures of whatever we bought online during the week or month and make individual posts on all of our social media accounts about it. Because, you know…

cassie1022 I picked up stuff I ordered online at Target and PetSmart. Does that count? Should I receive accolades because my cat will have fresh litter to do her business on?

souly Only if you post the pictures to prove it! ;)

ajw720 As soon as I get home. Pictures forthcoming. Shrimp cat treats and I also got a burgundy blanket for my new comforter!!! Life goals!!!!!!!!!!!

souly Okay, so, let’s see… What did I buy online during the past month that can be shared as pictures? Some things are gifts, so I obviously can’t post anything about those yet. But I think these here are safe.

Let’s start with one of my fav new shirts. (Excuse the grainy quality. I had to quickly edit it for privacy reasons. :p And yes, that’s a butterfly mirror.)

The rest are behind the cut to save your dash from drowning in too many pictures. ;)

cheekyface72 You’re my queen from now on…

ajw720 I think emmy/sag/gg/CC winner DC should write a post @soulypraising your awesome, amazing, unparalleled online shopping skills! You earned that praise. That cat toy is particularly spectacular.

*********************

Just A Taste of M’s Amazing Online Shopping Skills that are worthy of such Praise

ajw720

Super Mario with inflatable Dragon $54.66 (x)

Princess Peach $78.99 (x)

chrisdarebashfulsmiles. i can’t

flowersintheattic254. When you add the fact that the wedding was sponsored so heavily, and her history of outfits I think it shows Mi@rren is something that’s always been done very much ‘on the cheap’.

From work vacays (honeymoon included), RC ‘glue gun’ looks, thrift shoes and subsidized weddings.

It’s BUDGET BEARDING!!!

leka-1998. It’s not worth more than this, that’s for sure.

notes-from-nowhere We are so ungrateful. She worked hard to find the gloves.

I bet she had to click on another link to find them. She deserves another accolade.

ajw720 @flowersintheattic254 Budget Bearding! I LOVE It! (and something tells me D’s SW costume in particular was far cheaper than either of these).

souly That Snow White dress can be found for about $25 in a ton of online shops. I stumbled upon it even before Halloween way too many times. 😂

@notes-from-nowhere The plush question mark block can be found in a couple online stores like this one. She simply glued it onto some gloves - or asked L to do it with that glue gun of hers.

flowersintheattic254 Well funnily enough I think we may have confirmation that 🚽🚽 glued on the puppies so I guess YES to the question mark block too!!!

cassie1022 They can’t even glue things properly. Why am I not surprised?

leka-1998

So, so amazing. Bow to the kween and her not so helpful helper.

************************************

There are lots more...I figured enough of your brain cells died reading the ones I posted. On Nov 30 she is STiLL bringing it up”

Anonymous asked:

Whenever I see miarren gifset they always use the same quote underneath (the rolling the windows down quote) and at first I rolled my eyes and thought uh not that quote again, and I can't believe it took me this long to realise it's because there is literally no other quote that can be construed as loving. You can hardly put down "she's a big girl" whenever you make a set of gifs with M beaming and D looking like someone murdered the dog he's allergic to.

ajw720: And I love the Emmy quote as it was an absolute reference to his character who was a psychopath. Pretty telling if you ask me. But that reference is over their heads.

And pretty much the only one. Guess saying he’s a ball and chain kind of guy isn’t romantic. They can’t even take pooping exes as he clearly steered the conversation away from her. Lovely lady of many moons? Nah she sounds like a stranger. Saying nothing changes after marriage? Sounds boring. It’s a struggle. But hey she’s an excellent online shopper that he done got hitched to!!!

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thefilmsnob · 4 years

Text

Glen Coco’s Top 10 films of 2019

2019 was one of the better movie years I’ve experienced. It was no 2007 or 2013--we all know that--but it was pretty damn good. People who say ‘they just make crap nowadays’ probably aren’t really into movies and are definitely out to lunch. Dammit, now I want lunch. Anyway, here are my picks for the ten best films of 2019 which, as always, follow my runners-up and the traditional bonus track...There’s always a bonus track.

Runners-Up

-Bombshell

-Booksmart Full Review: https://thefilmsnob.tumblr.com/post/185427895290/booksmart-out-of-5

-Ford v Ferrari

-The Irishman

-Joker Full Review: https://thefilmsnob.tumblr.com/post/188571262775/joker-out-of-5

-Parasite

-The Peanut Butter Falcon

-The Two Popes

And here are my top 10!

#10b. (Bonus Track) Avengers: Endgame

Director: Anthony Russo, Joe Russo

Starring: Robert Downey Jr., Chris Evans, Scarlett Johansson, the rest of Hollywood

Maybe, like some people in the industry, you don’t consider Marvel films to be ‘cinema’. Well, that’s a legitimate and long debate for another time. But, you can’t say that weaving a narrative through 22 related films isn’t an impressive feat. That’s what Marvel Studios did and with the help of the Russo Brothers, and despite the countless moving pieces, they ended this chapter of the franchise almost perfectly with just the right balance of action, human drama, twists, turns and some surprisingly poignant moments. If you didn’t get goosebumps--and maybe even pee your pants a bit--when those portals opened up at the end, bringing to mind Gandolf’s triumphant entrance into the Battle of Helm’s Deep, then maybe movies just aren’t for you, my friend.

Full Review: https://thefilmsnob.tumblr.com/post/184694412545/avengers-endgame-out-of-5

#10. Marriage Story

Director: Noah Baumbach

Starring: Adam Driver, Scarlett Johansson

Ironically, Marriage Story is actually about a divorce. But, writer/director Noah Baumbach imbues this civil-turned-nasty separation with all the complexity and aggravation that come with being married with child. He treats the divorce like the grueling process you’d expect it to be, one which involves real, flawed people whose needs and desires don’t align, making the situation increasingly distressing for all parties involved. In turn, Driver and Johansson make this distress increasingly palpable for the audience until it feels like we’re in the room with them during one of their several heated arguments. Both actors give some of the best work of their careers, yet it still may be overshadowed by Laura Dern and Ray Liotta who shine as the two ruthless lawyers representing them. Baumbach has been churning out these gems for years, but his latest, which may be his most accessible, may also be his best so far.

#9. Jojo Rabbit

Director: Taika Waititi

Starring: Roman Griffin Davis, Thomasin McKenzie, Scarlett Johansson

What do you get when you mix Nazi Germany, the ghost of Hitler and a poor Jewish girl trying to survive the second World War? You get one of the funniest and most touching movies of the year, of course. The surging writer/actor/director Taika Waititi, who specializes in quirky films filled with quirkier characters, hasn’t made the typically grim melodrama about Nazi Germany nor is he doing anything close to promoting Nazi culture. Instead, he uses the tale of a young boy who attends a Hitler Youth training camp to highlight the absurdity of this horrible movement while promoting tolerance. He delivers this powerful message by introducing a young Jewish girl who seeks refuge in the home of Jojo and his mother, played by Scarlett Johansson (who clearly had a good year). This leads to Jojo’s crisis of conscience which is complicated by his imaginary friend...who happens to be Adolf Hitler! Yes, the movie is different.

#8. Once Upon a Time...in Hollywood

Director: Quentin Tarantino

Starring: Leonardo DiCaprio, Brad Pitt, Margot Robbie

It’s no surprise that Quentin Tarantino would make a film about 1960s Hollywood starring one of the most prestigious celebrity trios in the business; the guy’s passion--obsession even--for film is unmatched. Here, he uses the medium to take a horrific moment in history like the murder of Sharon Tate at the hands of the Manson Family and gives it the stereotypical Hollywood happy ending. In doing so, he showcases the wish fulfillment of the movies and their power to comfort us with optimism while simultaneously warning of their ability to shelter us from our cruel reality. DiCaprio and Pitt give brilliant performances as characters who add to the perception-vs-reality theme, DiCaprio playing the huge movie star full of anxiety and doubt in real life who relies heavily on his stunt double, Pitt, who’s the actual confident hero. All this and much more takes place in a meticulously recreated Hollywood of the ‘60s that sweeps you up in nostalgia and immerses you in a world of make-believe.

#7. Knives Out

Director: Rian Johnson

Starring: Ana de Armas, Daniel Craig, Chris Evans, Jamie Lee Curtis, Christopher Plummer

Yes, there have been many murder mysteries. No, Knives Out isn’t just like the rest of them. Writer/director Rian Johnson does a masterful job at crafting a labyrinthine story that’s just complex enough without overwhelming and strikes a perfect balance of suspense and comedy. Featuring one of the greatest casts assembled in 2019 playing a dysfunctional family of despicable yet intriguing individuals of means, the story is full of truly surprising twists and turns and, more crucially, some well-integrated and astute social commentary. This isn’t a two-hour lecture, though; the film is undeniably entertaining. The stand-out here is detective Benoit Blanc, played by Daniel Craig with a delightful southern drawl and an attention to detail that rivals Sherlock Holmes. Craig transcends his James Bond persona while the film itself transcends a genre.

#6. 1917

Director: Sam Mendes

Starring: George MacKay, Dean-Charles Chapman

If this were a few years ago 1917 would be, without question, my #1 pick. However, as the long, uncut tracking shot has become more common over the years, it’s also lost a bit of its luster; 2014′s Birdman, one of the best films of the decade, also had the appearance of a single take. Nonetheless, to make a war film, with all its tricky choreography and pyrotechnics, look like one long take is still a phenomenal achievement and an absolute marvel to behold. And, although it obviously couldn’t be filmed in one shot, Sam Mendes and master cinematographer Roger Deakins still had to shoot long takes and stitch them together digitally while stealthily hiding the seams. It all helps tell the story of two young soldiers tasked with traversing treacherous territory to warn a Battalion of British soldiers about an impending German ambush. We follow the pair in real time amidst a story of remarkable bravery, enhanced by the fact that we’re with them every step of the way, at once experiencing everything they do up close while being reminded of how removed we really are from the danger they face.

#5. Uncut Gems

Director: Benny Safdie, Josh Safdie

Starring: Adam Sandler, Kevin Garnett (hey, why not?), Julia Fox

There are several talented actors in Hollywood who’ve gained a bad reputation for poor career choices. Ben Affleck and Will Smith come to mind. Perhaps the king of this group is Adam Sandler. He’s excelled sporadically in movies like Punch-Drunk Love and The Meyerowitz Stories, but he gives a truly Oscar-worthy performance in this--ahem--gem. As Howard Ratner, he’s a gambling addict who runs a jewelry store in New York’s Diamond district when he gets his hands on a rare Ethiopian black opal which he hopes will help pay off his many debts. In fact, he owes so much to so many people that he struggles to keep track of it all and we cringe every time he does. The tension builds to an almost unbearable level as a host of dangerous men seek payment. If that’s not enough, he’s on the verge of a divorce as he continues seeing a mistress who’s also his employee while owing $100 000 to his own criminal brother-in-law. If you were stressed just reading that, try watching the movie...or being Howard himself. The Safdie brothers don’t let up either, filming it like a documentary to add to its realism and immediacy...as if it needed that extra boost.

#4. The Lighthouse

Director: Robert Eggers

Starring: Robert Pattinson, Willem Dafoe

The first thing you notice watching The Lighthouse is that half the screen is missing; Robert Eggers, who also wrote and directed The Witch, shot the film with a 1.19: 1 aspect ratio, making the picture square, like an old-timey photograph. It feels limiting at first until you fully appreciate the feelings of confinement and anxiety it evokes. That’s important in a film about two lighthouse keepers, or wickies, who are forced to live together in insanely grungy and cramped quarters of a lighthouse on a remote island off the coast of New England. Considering the harsh conditions and the fact it’s a horror film, they soon clash and seemingly lose their grip on reality which manifests in macabre images and supernatural occurrences. Or does it? Ha! This is one of the most unique and beautifully filmed movies of the year with the grainy black and white 35mm making it seem like it was made closer to the late 19th century, when the film takes place. Like many recent horror films, this one relies more on mood and imagery than jump scares and is buttressed by only two actors who give award-worthy performances. Alright? So, go to hell; Pattinson can act.

#3. Little Women

Director: Greta Gerwig

Starring: Saoirse Ronan, Florence Pugh, Emma Watson, Timothee Chalamet, Eliza Scanlen, Laura Dern

You might assume that Little Women is a stuffy period piece and even unnecessary considering it’s the seventh adaptation of Louisa May Alcott’s iconic 1868 novel, but the prodigious actor-turned-writer-turned-director Greta Gerwig is too adept in her craft to settle for conventional story-telling. She gives this classic story a fresh, modern take with a non-linear approach and a feminist angle that enhances without overwhelming. Like her work on Lady Bird, she keeps scenes brisk and to the point with decisive cuts. She also adds her unique wit and snappy dialogue. Every conversation, no matter how superficial, leaves you enraptured. So, too, do the characters; it’s a pleasure following these complex girls through the ups and downs of their lives as women of little means and even fewer rights. They’re portrayed by a stellar cast, particularly Jo March who’s played by Saoirse Ronan, perhaps our greatest sub-30 actress. This may be a little movie about little women, but the payoffs and sheer enjoyment are truly grand.

Full Review: https://thefilmsnob.tumblr.com/post/190231754125/little-women-12-out-of-5

#2. Us

Director: Jordan Peele

Starring: Lupita Nyong’o, Winston Duke

I know it’s blasphemous, but I might be the only person on Earth who not only thought Get Out was a tad overrated, but that Jordan Peele’s second feature, Us, is the superior picture. It’s easy to look at this film as merely a unique take on the slasher genre, but it’s so much more than that. Like any good horror, it’s creepy as hell, but it’s also brimming with foreshadowing, symbolism and metaphor. There are three or four ideas that Peele sets up at the beginning that seem disconnected to the story, yet they each have a specific purpose and when that becomes evident, it’s incredibly satisfying. Even more impressive is how Peele turns a movie about a vacationing family encountering their doppelgangers into a brilliant commentary on the current state of America, specifically in regards to class division and its relation to the Nature vs Nurture debate. And the movie’s neat twist at the end isn’t just added for shock value; it’s actually the final puzzle piece and essential in conveying the film’s message. I struggled with ranking Us at #1 or #2, but its over-reliance on slasher film action around the mid-point (a minor flaw) was the deciding factor. It’s near-perfect, nonetheless.

Full Film Interpretation: https://thefilmsnob.tumblr.com/post/184073868405/interpreting-jordan-peeles-film-us

#1. Midsommar

Director: Ari Aster

Starring: Florence Pugh, Jack Reynor, William Jackson Harper, Will Poulter

If there’s one thing for which the 2010s should be known, it’s great horror films, a refreshing development after decades of mediocrity. But, just like movies in general from the ‘New Hollywood’ ‘70s, horror films are more creative and ambitious than they’ve been in ages thanks to a handful of visionary filmmakers. Three out of the top five entries are horror movies and that’s saying something.

Midsommar is a mesmerizing horror film that hearkens back to the 1970s when the genre relied more heavily on atmosphere and pacing and sheer creepiness than on jump scares and gimmicks. It takes one hell of a talented writer/director to make a movie shot almost entirely in daylight feel so utterly sinister, but Ari Aster, who also made the acclaimed Hereditary, does just that with ease. What’s more, the film contains no monsters, nothing supernatural and an astonishingly minimal amount of violence, yet when we do see bits of blood and gore, it’s a complete shock to the system. What Aster does rely on is his mastery of lighting and framing to produce images that are unexpectedly eerie.

This is a movie that starts with a group of anthropology students looking to take part in a once-in-a-lifetime festival at a commune in the Swedish countryside and ends in an unspeakable nightmare. It’s a long and sometimes grueling experience that steadily snowballs into horror, but that slow burn is crucial for this delightfully nerve-wracking series of events. Oh, and it’s also a breakup story...possibly the scariest breakup story of all time. It’s certainly the best film of 2019.

#2019 films #top 10 of 2019 #movies #movie review

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fics-for-my-heart · 5 years

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Award (b.h.)

Summary: What really happened at the viewing party?

Word count: 1765

Warning: none, maybe some cussing

A/N: I’ve been going back and forth on if I wanted to post this or not lol. Hope you guys enjoy it! Also, you should see my docs, someone give me some motivation bc I have so many WIPs 😬

Masterlist

“Y/N?” Ben's voice was muffled by the music you had playing as you danced around getting ready for the viewing party. Being apart of Bohemian Rhapsody was a huge step in your career, but sadly only Rami was invited to the Globes.

You were so caught up in getting your makeup finished and singing along that you didn’t realize Ben standing behind you. “A gathering of angels appeared above my head. They sang to me this song of hope and this is what they said. They said come sail away come sail away.”

“Come sail away with me.” Ben sang in response.

You jumped around and laughed before continuing. “Come sail away, Come sail away”

Ben took your hand in his and spun you. “Come sail away with meeeeeeeee.”

As you spun away you paused the music, still laughing. “Well don’t you look sharp.” You adjusted his tie before wrapping your arms around him. “I missed you.”

He kissed your head, returning the hug. “You look very lovely yourself. And I missed you too.” He smiled, pulling away and watching you slip into your shoes. “Are you ready? Joe and Gwil are already there.”

You grabbed your clutch and nodded, taking Ben’s extended elbow and heading to the car.

“Are you nervous?” He asked, watching you twist your bracelet on your wrist as the city speed by the window.

“Kinda? It’s the first award the movies been up for. Also Rami deserves it, he did so well. I just wish we could have been there.”

“Me too. But, at least we all still get to be together.” He patted your hand, leaving his over yours for a few beats before pulling away. The conversation easily went into the progress of the most recent projects you’d each been working on.

That’s how it always had been with Ben. Easy conversation, just kinda clicking. But you two weren’t together, although you wouldn’t say no if he asked. After spending every second together from shooting the film to falling asleep together during movie nights, the two of you had grown close.

There had been a few almosts for you. Like when you woke up curled into him and he looked so peaceful that it took everything in you not to kiss him. Another time was when you were sick and he stayed with you all day even though he was suppose to be on set. He made you soup and tea and he even read to you. You felt so soft about it, it was difficult not to confess your feeling right then.

When the car pulled up to the building, there were a few photographers outside the mini red carpet. Ben helped you out of the car and lead you with a hand on your lower back. The two of you stopped for a few pictures and to talk with some people but seeing as this wasn’t a big event, there weren’t many interviewers.

“That never gets easier, does it?” You asked Ben as the two of you made your way inside.

He laughed, swiping two flutes of champagne from a passing waiter, handing one off to you. “If you know the interviewer it’s not as bad. But you just have to have fun with it.”

Before he could say anything more you were each wrapped in a pair of arms. “About time!” Joe's head was propped onto Ben's shoulder as Gwil rested his chin on your head. “Y/N, you look absolutely lovely.”

Gwils head moved over yours in agreement. “Thank you. How’s the party so far?”

The boys released you and Ben, giving you the opportunity to hug Joe while he filled you in. “Lucy went to the red carpet with Rami, but she will be here for the viewing party. I know Rami is coming here after the show, his mom and brother are here somewhere.” He lead you away from Ben and Gwil, who seemed to be in a serious conversation, and took you to the buffet. “Food and drinks are all here and they have a bunch of screens set up for when the show starts.” Joe handed you a plate, taking one for himself and starting on the food.

“Wow they really went all out. It smells amazing.” Your stomach silently grumbled as you scooped some potatoes into your plate.

Once you and Joe had plates, you followed him to a table and started eating and talking with everyone else at the table. When you first pictured the party, you had this hectic idea in your head, and you were glad it wasn’t as crazy. There was some mellow music playing and chatting all around. It was all very nice.

As conversations continued, you started remembering all it took to get here. Creating a bond with the boys and Lucy, all the retakes and late nights. The pranks you’d all pull, and getting to know Brian and Roger.

You hadn’t realized you’d zoned out till something icy touched your bare shoulder. “Ah! Cold!”

Ben pulled the chair closer to you and sat down. “Sorry love, I brought you a beer.”

After a long sip you sighed. “Thank you. Where’ve you been? You were having a pretty deep conversation and the poof you were gone.” You pokes his leg with your toe.

“Oh, nothing. That was just about the rugby game.” His face was flushed, but you couldn’t tell if it was from the alcohol or not.

“Well, I’m glad you joined us.” You smiled, tapping the neck of your beer against his.

“Me too.” He responded as you turned back to listen to Gwil, you missed the dreamy look in his eyes.

About an hour later, everyone had eaten and was moving around talking when the show started. You’d just finished speaking with Ramis brother when you noticed Ben watching you with a soft look. You raised an eyebrow and he smiled, nodding to the spot beside him.

“Thanks for saving me a seat.”

“No one else I’d rather sit beside.” He laughed, nudging you slightly with his shoulder.

“Except me.” Joe said, wiggling his way to the other side of Ben. “I’m just glad you separated them.” He pointed at Ben then at Gwil who was sat beside you.

Gwil mocked shock. “I take great offense to your lack of support, Joseph.”

“You didn’t mind his lack of support of our love.” Joe huffed, crossing his arms.

“Boys. Boys. There’s enough of me to go around.” Ben said, holding his arms up.

“You sure Y/N would want to share you?” Gwil asked.

You picked up your drink from the table and sat back, thankful they could see the heat rising up your neck. “He’s all yours boys.”

They bickered back and forth for a bit before Lucy showed up. She talked about how exciting it was to walk the carpet with Rami, and how nervous he was, and before long it was the start of the show.

The beginning was slow, and rough. The opening was cringe worthy, and it took awhile for them to actually start announcing winners. It was exciting to see Rami, Brian, and Roger sitting front row, and the closer it got to the end the more the energy in the room shifted to a nervous one.

When Julianne Moore and Richard Gere walked out and started talking the entire room went silent. Ben's hand slowly wrapped around yours as he leaned forward a little.

“And the golden Globe goes to...Rami Malek!” Juliann said as the room erupted.

Cheers and whoops and hugs went around as Rami made his way to the stage. Ben wrapped his arms around you in a hug and gave a sigh of relief before turning and hugging Joe, still keeping his arm over your shoulder.

Ramis speech was beautiful. Joe yelled “come at me” when he said he was going to tackle the boys, and when he dedicated the award to Freddie you couldn’t hold back the tears.

Ben's thumb gently swiped under your eye and he pulled you closer. The room grew quiet again as Nicole Kidman walked out and introduced the last category. Everyone stood still, even the waiters stopped moving around to listen.

“And, the Golden Globe goes to...Bohemian Rhapsody!” She announced, as once again the room erupted.

You started crying again, as Bens arms went straight up and he wooed. Everyone was hugging and cheering. When Ben turned back to you, he had a huge grin on his face as both hands cupped your cheeks, wiping the tears away again before closing the distance and kissing you.

Everything stopped, all you could feel was Ben's lips on yours as you kissed back. Your ears were ringing, and when you pulled away you realized it was because everyone was cheering again, this time for you and Ben.

“I’ve wanted to do that for so long.” He laughed, resting his forehead against yours. You licked your lips and just looked at him for a long moment. His eyes grew worried the longer you took to respond. “I’m sorr-..”

You covered his lips with your finger and shook your head. “I’ve wanted to do that for a while too.”

A boyish grin was on his face again as he scooped you up and spun you, kissing you once more.

“Fork it over.” You heard Gwil say, his hand out as Joe grumbled under his breath while digging in his wallet.

“The one time I’m wrong. And I lose $50.” He slapped the bill into Gwils hand. “About damn time though.” A smile spread across his face as he hugged you both at once. “I’m going to get us a round of shots to celebrate!”

Gwil move closer and whispered. “Ben told me he was thinking about doing it, and he sounded pretty serious. But I may have down played it when I told Joe.” He laughed, kissing the top of your head. “I’ll give him back his money at the end of the night. Maybe.” He patted Ben’s back before following after Joe.

Ben looked down at you and smiled. “Hi.” He whispered. Wrapping both arms around your waist.

“Hi.” You couldn’t stop the smile that spread across your face.

Slowly, he moved closer, and you pushed up on your toes, meeting him halfway. This time the kiss was more serious, everything you’d wanted to say to each other but weren’t sure how.

When you pulled away, Ben laughed. “Rami may have won a globe but I think I got the best award of the night.”

Tags:

@hermionedeservesbetterthanron @unlikelysamwinchesteronahunt

#ben hardy #ben hardy fluff #ben hardy x you #ben hardy x reader #ben hardy fanfic #ben hardy imagine #bohemian rhapsody #borhap

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filmaficionerdo · 5 years

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Best Films of 2018

2018 was not the year for prestige pictures by a long shot. Film this year was at its best when it came to superhero movies, and as much as I prefer those over most any other entertainment, that shouldn’t be the case, and that’s not what got me into film in the first place. As happy as I am to see my favorite comic book characters come to life, I got into film because of daring, bold, and outspoken artists who didn’t need a franchise to speak their minds. Too many mid-range films went to Netflix or other streaming services and they’re mostly of poor quality with a few exceptions. I miss the days when film studios took risks, but now they only look for the largest IP with the largest net-profits. It’s sad. I love Marvel movies more than anyone I know but they shouldn’t be the only reason I look forward to going to the theater. But this year also sparked a personal change for me because I moved away from the movie mecca of Hollywood to mid-Michigan, where there aren’t any arthouse theaters nearby during peak awards season so I missed more films than I would’ve liked (even though it’s been the most emotionally rewarding experience I’ve ever had) so I hope that helps explain why this list is so late. I’ve been catching up on independent films via online rentals as soon as I can and still have many left unseen. So maybe I missed something during 2018, but I can’t help but be letdown by the lack of inspiration I look to when I try to experience the medium I’m most passionate about. With that being said, I was still able to conjure a list of my favorite 25 films of the year. So, here goes:

25. Halloween

This was way better than I would’ve expected, especially coming from the guys who brought us Your Highness. Director David Gordon Green and writer Danny (Eastbound & Down) McBride delivered the first worthy Halloween sequel that’s ever existed. Their updated and timely subversion elevated this homage-y sequel while adding more fun than this franchise has ever seen. John Carpenter’s contribution and the opening credits sequence hit hard with me.

24. Ready Player One

Haters be damned, I really enjoyed this movie. Of course, I never read the book so that discredits me somewhat but what I got was a rousing Spielbergian experience that we haven’t witnessed since Minority Report. If you hate this movie, but you loved Hook, there’s something fundamentally wrong with what you think a Spielberg movie is supposed to be about. Ready Player One was a toybox of fun ideas and intellectual properties sewn together for a generation hung up on video games and nostalgia. It’s definitely not his best but I love seeing a veteran director who still has the ability to dust off his old toys and make pretend. The Shining sequence was an absolute standout of appreciation and love for another director’s craft.

23. Sorry to Bother You

Boots Riley’s debut was strong and weird as hell. This felt like Spike Lee meets David Cronenberg. It’s funny, nuanced, and insightful. Riley’s new voice was energetic and angry in the best way. I saw this later in the year than I wanted to, but I have a feeling that repeat viewings will enhance this films relevance and my appreciation.

22. You Were Never Really Here

Lynne Ramsay is one of the best and most unpredictable working directors today. I always look forward to her work, but this semi-Taxi Driver remake was remarkably accessible for her and more powerful than it had any right to be. If you haven’t seen it, seek it out. It’s a crisp 88 minutes long and it’s riveting as well as heartbreaking. There was a uniqueness to the short runtime, violence, and poignant urgency that she handled with deftness. Joauquin Phoenix was remarkable, brute, and subtle all at once.

21. Ant-Man & The Wasp

Go ahead and agree that this wasn’t the strongest Marvel output in a while, but just like the previous Ant-Man, it’s a palette cleanser from a previous Avengers film. Ant-Man & The Wasp is maybe the most child friendly film they’ve ever released and it was still enjoyable as hell. It’s not important. It’s simple fun. And I love that Marvel still knows how to craft something that doesn’t want or need to reach for the fences. Sometimes an inside the field hit is just what we need. Ant-Man & The Wasp is a damn good bunt.

20. The Incredibles 2

Now that I hang out with a toddler on the reg, watching this movie never gets boring. I’d know, because she’s watched it with me five times. Incredibles 2 was long overdue and it’s maybe not quite so worthy of such a long wait considering the original was my favorite film of 2004, but its sequel was still full of exceptional animation. That sequence with Jack Jack and the raccoon still fills me with joy.

19. A Star is Born

Bradley Cooper’s directorial debut was surprisingly strong. Filming everything in close-ups was an intimate and innovative way to express a rising star’s personal journey to stardom. Even though we can all agree that the first half of the film is vastly superior to the tear-turkey-jerky second half, it’s still an important film and a worthy update of a timeless classic. The music, performances, cinematography, and sound are all exceptional.

18. BlacKkKlansman

Spike Lee felt reborn with BlacKkKlansman. Do The Right Thing will always be one of the all time greatest films; no question. BlacKkKlansman might be his best since. John David Washington just established himself as a commanding lead, and Adam Driver further cemented himself as a phenomenal actor. The poetic-ness combined with the satirical edginess made this one significantly heartbreaking watch while being entertaining and iconic all at the same time.

17. The Death of Stalin

I saw The Death of Stalin early in 2018 and it never left me. Writer/Director Armando Iannucci is a certifiable genius and the controversial nature of a film like this was one of the most refreshing voices of the year. This is one of the darkest political satires I’ve ever seen but it’s so goddamn funny. Laughing at something so atrocious and maddening is one of the only ways we, as a society, can heal from dark times in history. I fully believe it takes the power away from the people who committed such heinous crimes. It takes time and a brilliant voice, but it holds a mirror to the ridiculousness we’re currently subjected to, and hopefully with time, we can make fun of our situation too.

16. Leave No Trace

Debra Granik finally followed up her outstanding Winter’s Bone debut and she did not suffer from the sophomore slump that so many other filmmakers have. Leave No Trace is the saddest love letter to veterans that I’ve ever seen even though it’s beautiful and full of hope. Granik definitely should’ve gotten a Best Director nomination this year for her delicate and heartfelt look at a father struggling with PTSD while living with his daughter in the woods, away from society. Ben Foster and Thomasin McKenzie are stunning. This film stayed with me for weeks after I watched it. It’s a small but hugely important film.

15. Annihilation

Alex Garland previously made his directorial debut with Ex Machina after an incredible script writing filmography. He’s established himself as one of the smartest and most important voices in science fiction cinema after Annihilation. This is a heady sci fi film that scared the shit out of me. I felt uneasy the second the group of women walked into The Shimmer. Garland adapted the book it’s based on after only reading the book once, but he created something so frighteningly ethereal that it’ll be talked about for years. The score for this was off the charts good. Going from an acoustic instrumental to something electronic was what struck me the most as a stroke of genius.

14. Shoplifters

For a film I saw so recently, very few films this year have had such an emotional impact on me. Shoplifters is a small “family” film from Korean director Hirokazu Kore-eda, but it packs a punch that I wasn’t expecting. All I knew was that critics loved it and it was up for a Best Foreign Language Oscar. It’s a powerhouse of social status and what it means to be a family that defies language and cultural relevance.

13. First Man

First Man hit me hard on a personal level. I’d sort of written off Damien Chazelle as a director after La La Land underwhelmed me so much, but this film reinvigorated my appreciation in him because the filmmaking here was profoundly beautiful. The acting is impeccable. The cinematography was breathtaking. Seeing this in IMAX (as my last film in LA) was a jaw-dropping cry-fest. I left the theater shook. I doubt this film will shake as many as it did me, especially if you missed it in IMAX, but this was the theater experience of the year. At least recognize that Justin Hurwitz’s musical score was the most overlooked snub at this years Academy Awards.

12. Suspiria

This was another film I’d sorely missed in theaters, but when I finally got a chance to witness it I was blown away. Luca Guadaninio’s follow-up to my favorite film of last year, Call Me By Your Name, was a worthy successor. This was less a horror film, and more of an art-house homage to Dario Argento’s original 70s classic. It’s still a haunting film, but in a beautifully macabre way. Thom Yorke’s score is absolutely outstanding, as well as the subversively drab look, completely deviating from the originals color saturated visual palette. It’s a film that has to be watched more than once. Even though it’s 2.5 hours long, I was completely transfixed the entire time. It’ll depend on your mood or taste, but if you enjoy artistic, visual, and auditory enhanced horror, Suspiria is among the best.

11. Mandy

Throw up the horns. Mandy is here. Pasmos Cosmatos cerebral horror film is full of the best revenge porn I’ve ever seen. Nicolas Cage is unhinged (as he should be) in his best performance in ages. He’s the Cage we’ve been dreaming of since the 90s. The first half of this film belongs to Andrea Riseborough and underrated character actor Linus Roache, but the second half is all Rage Cage in full gory glory. Mandy is a film unlike anything you’ve ever seen, but yet somehow it’s still completely accessible. The title cards for each chapter are something straight out of a Heavy Metal comic book, and the hauntingly beautiful score by the late-genius Jóhann Jóhannsson is simply gorgeous. Mandy is a film meant to be laughed at and with. It’s a fever-dream of ideas that work brilliantly as a whole. It’s a hard one to recommend but if you know, you know.

10. Eighth Grade

Bo Burnham just burst onto the directorial scene with this film about the awkwardness of being a thirteen year old girl. Not something you’d expect from a male standup comedian in times like these, especially when it’s handled so delicately and with so much heart, but it feels so important to young kids who’ve been thrown into subjectivity amongst their peers within the digital age. Eighth Grade can, at times, make you so uncomfortable, and at other times it’ll completely tear your heart out and make you want to hug your dad. I know, because I saw it in the theater with my dad. He was like, you’re still the eighth grade girl you’ve always been. Thanks, dad.

9. Aquaman

I know there isn’t a ton of hate for this film, but there isn’t a ton of high praise for it either. Aquaman was exactly the film James Wan set out to make. It’s one of the most comic book-y films since Age of Ultron except it’s dumb as hell, and for that, I absolutely LOVED it. This was a throwback comic book film ripped from the pages that was corny as hell and never took itself too seriously. Aquaman is a damn hard character to adapt so it’s unbelievable that he got this big of a budget that included over-the-top actors like Willem Dafoe and Dolph Lundgren. Patrick Wilson chews the scenery as Ocean Master and I don’t give a damn what people think of Black Manta; he’s completely awesome. You could’ve easily cut this film down, but I was happy to live in its oceanic cheesball world for hours. Aquaman was the comic book movie of the year that was as ridiculous as it was awesome. I laughed so hard at how stupid it could be, but I couldn’t help but be entertained by how insane it was.

8. Mission: Impossible Fallout

I don’t know how these films keep getting better, but they do. This was THE action film of 2018. As much as I love Fast & Furious 5-7, Mission: Impossible 4-6 has been the best run of a long running action franchise ever. Fallout brought one of the best villains yet in a story that barely makes sense, but I couldn’t care less. This film was big in that edge-of-your-seat way that rarely comes along. Thrilling doesn’t begin to describe it. The IMAX presentation was fantastic. I live for movies like this. It harkens back to 80s and 90s action films but presents itself for a whole new era of practical effects extravaganza. It’s the best action film since Mad Max: Fury Road.

7. Black Panther

There are a lot of people questioning this film’s entry as a Best Picture Nominee, but it absolutely deserves all of the recognition it’s getting. Ryan Coogler’s Black Panther is both culturally and politically significant as it is cinematically. This film is a culmination of what Marvel has been growing to. The Marvel Cinematic Universe isn’t simply about story progression, it’s about cultural progression. These films represent societal beacons of the times we live in through decades old comic book prisms. The lore and spirit of the comics are still present, as well as relevant, and the socio-political themes have been injected into them effortlessly.

A character like Black Panther can be a leader of change within his own cinematic universe. Marvel’s created something that transcends blockbuster cinema. Black Panther is now an icon of cultural appreciation that can inspire real change in the real world. He’s an optimistic embodiment of what we should strive to achieve as a society. We should share with the world our hope for change. Comic Book’s have never been so relevant. Black Panther has never been so important.

6. Roma

Director Alfonso Cuarón’s intimate portrayal of life as a housemaid was one of the most vibrantly affecting films I’ve ever seen. Every single shot wasn’t just a landscape; it was a mural. I’ve never seen direction take this angle and provide so much while saying so little. Some people might’ve felt emotionally disconnected from his style but Cuarón’s masterful direction captivated me like very few films this year had. There are multiple layers to his visual representation that effect more of what’s seen than what’s said. It’s not an easy watch and perhaps that’s part of why it was released by Netflix. Unfortunately, I had to watch this at home instead of in theaters, but I still felt the impact of the themes and presentation. It’s one of the few Best Picture nominees that truly belong in the category that’ll stand the test of time.

5. Paddington 2

This was one of the earliest releases of 2018 and it never escaped my mind throughout the year. Paddington 2 advances upon the original’s tone to encapsulate something that is pure joy. Paul King directed the bejeezus out of this movie. I felt like I was watching Wes Anderson meets Harry Potter. I saw Paddington 2 in theaters with just one mother and daughter couple and it never felt weird. The only thing that’s weird is that more people haven’t seen this film. I had a smile from ear to ear the entire time. This movie is magic. Like the Harry Potter films, all of the best British actors are present, and Hugh Grand and Brendon Gleeson give their best performances in years, if not ever. Hugh Grant should’ve been nominated for Best Supporting Actor. If you haven’t seen this hidden gem yet, do your soul a favor and seek it out immediately.

4. The Favourite

Yorgos Lanthimos is on a roll. This nutty Greek director began his career with the insane film, Dogtooth, and hasn’t let up since. But he’s also learned and built from his previous work. What started as something of a cultish followed career has expanded into prestigious and innovative filmmaking. I’d nearly missed this film in theaters until I drove across the state to see this with my parents in Ann Arbor, and although it might be one of the worst movies to see with your parental units, we all could agree that this was a uniquely hilarious and thought-provoking experience. At first, I wasn’t sure what to think because I was too busy trying to avoid talking to my mom and dad about Emma Stone jerking somebody off, but The Favourite stayed with me for weeks and I loved dissecting all of its themes and nuances. The Favourite is both entertaining and timely. It’s another one of the films this year that absolutely belong with (and should’ve won) the Best Picture nominations.

3. Widows

Steve McQueen’s Widows was vastly underseen and underrated. Here’s a director who usually only does vague, cerebral drama, but working with Gillian Flynn as a screenwriter adapting Lynda LaPlante’s 1983 novel about wives finishing the heist their husbands failed to complete before their untimely deaths, is about as pulpy and as timely as you can get. There are a lot of stories woven into Widows epic crime saga and some critics have faulted the film’s narrative for it, but look at Heat; one of the most prolific crime sagas of all time, which has more subplots than you could imagine, yet it’s still widely regarded as one of the best films ever made. Widows is the best film of its kind since Heat in 1995. It still carries the acting heavyweights and still compelled me more than nearly any other film in 2018.

2. Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse

Into the Spider-Verse is one of the few films in 2018 that has the power to influence cinema for the future. Not only is it extraordinarily entertaining, but it’s also innovative in terms of style and theme. No other film in 2018 was this inventive and groundbreaking. I was definitely excited to see this as a lifelong Spider-Man fan, but based on Sony’s mishandling of the character for years, it had me extremely cautious. Thanks to Phil Lord and Chris Miller’s impeccable screenplay, I got more than the Spider-Man I’ve always wanted to see. This is a Spider-Man for a new generation. He’s not my Spider-Man, he never was. This film is for everyone, and I mean EVERYONE. The cell-shaded animation and soundtrack elevated this film into bonafide classic territory. I couldn’t even comprehend it after I first saw it, because I wasn’t ready for something so new. Months after I watched this film, I could not stop thinking about it. Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse is so nerdy for the fans and so accessible to the newcomers. It feels like I’m living in an alternate universe where good movies in 2018 DO exist.

1. Avengers: Infinity War

The *Snap* heard ‘round the World...

Marvel has a good history of taking formulas from other genres and using them as a framing device for their superhero films; political thrillers, space operas, video games, heist films are all borrowed ideas that helped them keep the superhero genre from feeling stale. Avengers: Infinity War is Marvel’s fantasy epic. This is the Lord of the Rings of the MCU. The result is legendary. The Russo Bros. looked at their massive roster of heroes, who audiences have come to deeply care for over ten years, and came up with a way to tell one cohesive world-ending story centered around one villain; the mad titan, Thanos. They looked at Lord of the Rings and Game of Thrones, and they saw how well those were balanced, and they applied it to a superhero film. It’s unbelievably well executed. The big reason Infinity War works so cosmically well is Josh Brolin’s portrayal of Thanos. We couldn’t get behind another world-ending event in these movies unless we believed and understood the villain that was behind it all. Brolin gave Thanos both menace and pathos. From the moment the movie starts, the stakes feel real. None of the characters are safe because we believe Thanos is capable of anything from the very beginning. There aren’t many epics where we spend this much time with the villain. Thankfully, Marvel knows we already care about the heroes, so after building up a ten year rapport between audiences and protagonists it was finally time to focus on the Big Cheese who’s behind all the conflict. This movie is so comic book/fantasy it’s ridiculous. I loved every second of it and could not wipe the smile off my face nor the tears from my eyes. I felt like my ten year old self, alone and engrossed in the most epic comic book I’ve ever read. I was shaken when I left the theater. I turned around and watched it again just 30 minutes after my first viewing, and I couldn’t believe how captivated I was the second time, third time, forth viewing, fifth, sixth, and so on... Nothing could’ve prepared me for this film and I’m so thankful it exists.

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