#tumblrs constantly doing that to me too

[shikai-the-storyteller]

Tumblr is way chiller than Twitter for sure but sometimes I see a post and I'm like. Y'all DO remember this is a block game, right? You're not gonna get legitimately pissy and passive-aggressive over characters doing things in a block game, RIGHT???

#i talk #qsmp talk #Chatter: Jaiden don't do this— twitter will cancel you! #The rest of us in chat: Why should she care about anything Twitter says #People on frickin twitter AND tumblr: *whining about Jaiden* #LIKE BRO YOU CANNOT BE SERIOUS LMFAOOOOOO #fandom wank #I'm gonna start unfollowing people #not even just for bad opinions I'm just tired of seeing people being mean and bitter #I'm just here to have fun I don't want to constantly see whining #Critique characters and stuff all you want that's part of the fandom experience but some of y'all are so damn mean for no reason lmao #Touch grass and seek therapy #I know me posting this is part of the ''too many people complaining'' problem but Jaiden's my gal I am a little bit annoyed by that #Again: character critique is fine #but sometimes it's just so passive-aggressive and like. written like the character did a personal attack on YOU #<- the last tag is the most important point here I think

[snixx]

me: *explains why and how they hurt me and why I really didn't want to bring this up because I just broke up with my best friend and favourite person in the whole world and im tired of losing people and being too much but also they really hurt me and I consider them one of the closest people to me and I want to be honest*

them: ...

them: sorry

me: ...

them: *offers no further explanation*

me: ...

them: ...idk what else to say I have no excuse im sorry

me: uh. okay it's fine (I guess)

them: so how are you

me: fine i guess [elaborates]

them: ah.

me: how are you what's up

them: fine.

*20 minutes of extremely painful one sided conversation later*

them: hey I gotta go *doesn't reach out again. for weeks now*

#fuck everyone im so done #im so tired of constantly realizing im carrying all my relationships on my back #and the people i love the most just dont give a shit #like fuck offff if one of my friends told me i was hurting them id do everything to make it right #especially if they were apprehensive but still comunicated clearly instead of just secretly resenting me #and they were already going through a lor #*lot #why do i have the worst taste in friends why are relationships so exhausting #whatever. i lost my best friend and genuinely thought i lost my other best friend for most of last year anyway i can survive this #if you don't care then i dont care #vagueposting the shit out of tumblr dot com #they always made fun of me for caring too much anyway. ill give that energy to my friends who actually care back

[marshmallowgoop]

Every time I "finish" an AMV, I create a comparison like this.

The left side is the "effectless" draft—minimal transitions, zero coloring, limited text animation—while the right side is the "final" version I post online. It's a way to assess my work; where did the added effort elevate the edit, and where do my eyes find themselves drawn more to the draft because the "final" version is too busy, too overwhelming, too much?

I'm new to video editing. There aren't even 20 AMVs to my name, and I only seriously started a little over a year ago. My process involves a lot of struggling with what a "good" AMV is, a lot of wondering if I'm doing it all wrong—anxieties that were only exacerbated by a popular post that crossed my dash many months ago. It decried AMVs that don't edit with the full song as worthless, bad, garbage. The kids don't know how to do it right.

Not a kid, but maybe they've got a point!

Still, it was a disheartening sentiment to read. And while I might not know much, I think I am confident in knowing this: there are many AMV styles out there, and the shorter ones may certainly not be everyone's cup of tea, but that doesn't mean that they're devoid of love, time, effort, or passion. The video at the top of this post is hardly 30 seconds long, and it still took over 60 hours of spilling out ideas and cutting clips and learning new skills and scrapping new skills and tweaking transitions and coloring and recoloring and shaking my head and giving up and trying again.

Fan vidders, no matter the style they employ, are devoting their free time and energy to create. It'd be ludicrous to suggest that a movie is inherently inferior to a TV series, or a short story automatically meaningless compared to a novel.

The same should absolutely apply to fan videos.

#ramblings #shut up goop #video #amv #eye strain #*says she wants to write heiji and shinichi meta but writes this instead* #the heart writes what it wants ^^; #but yeah been thinking about writing something like this for a while? #tl;dr short vids may not be your thing but it really doesn't mean that they lack effort! #(if anything it might mean they have *too much* effort... definitely been guilty of that) #i'd love love love to create longer videos but i'm very attached to making edits with a high clip count and lots of effects #and that takes a *lot* of time! i can't even imagine doing a full song... that'd take me over 200 hours no exaggeration #and i know my style isn't for everyone but i don't think it's inherently worthy of disrespect #we're all fans here and i think fan vidders deserve so much love <3 constantly astounded by them! #it was really sad to see a post with nearly 50k notes complaining about amv makers when amvs on tumblr get maybe 100 notes if they're lucky #song in the video is 'corridors of time' by yasunori mitsuda with lyrics and vocals by laura shigihara #and the anime is detective conan #but if you're reading this you probably already know that haha

[brightokyolights]

...

#i am only typing this because im tired and feeling more loosey goosey than i usually would i guess #but ive just been debating something for a while now #so basically i used to just openly talk about like. everything on this blog but then due to a multitude of reasons #i stopped posting about certain things 1. because irl people found my blog and probably still could if they Really tried #2. because i didnt want to post about certain things and have absolutely anyone know shit about me #like as much as it can feel like a cosy wee community. just me and my mutuals <3 etc. its like. actually the fucking internet djdbdjdhdhjdh #anyways whats prompting me to type all this is that i used to post kinda negative stuff on here i guess you could say. like just my feelings #and shit. but i stopped because i want this to be a positive blog and i do feel like you can manifest shit you know? if i constantly reblog #posts where im like “i feel worthless and i am a piece of shit” that isnt helping anything you know? i think what really hammered it home #for me is when i saw a mutual rb something from me like that and it made me so sad tbh. because like. no youre not. youre amazing and ily #you know? anyways. overall i think it has been a decision for the best and i enjoy that my blog has become a more positive space. but i #do sometimes just feel like im kind of going the opposite direction where i act a certain way when im really just. feeling crap. #like all the time. idk maybe tumblr isnt the place for it but it used to be my outlet you know? and i have other things like my diary and #art and even a sideblog lmao. but i guess i do just mourn my whole self not being on this blog. idk what im trying to say by all this #is it this deep? am i thinking about this way too much lmao. idk. idk. #le text post

[erraticprocrastinator]

Microsoft Word has ADHD I swear

A couple of months ago I switched from Google Docs to Microsoft Word because I prefer Word’s formatting options. But can someone please explain why it feels like three kids in a trench coat pretending to be a program that’s good for creative writing? The AI constantly flags me with “consider changing this sentence for reader clarity” because I’m using old-timey (still correct) English but completely misses it when I accidentally leave out three whole words in the middle of a sentence. It’s like how my ADHD makes me hyperfocus on the stain on my left sock instead of realising that my shirt is inside out. On the bright side it’s making me much more vigilant in my proof reading.

#okay though please tell me I’m not the only one who thinks this #like I swear Docs was so much better at catching my sleep-deprived blunders #now I’m just constantly being told the benefits of using can’t instead of cannot #but I’m too committed to the change now and I do like Word overall #writeblr #writing community #writers #erraticprocrastinator #writers of tumblr #writing #writing probz #writing problems #microsoft word

[shaniacsboogara]

hey watcherinas!!! having a bit of a mental health time so i think i'm gonna try to step back from tumblr for a bit (by a bit i probably just mean tomorrow but i just wanted to let you know lol) <3

#average boog post #just think i'm getting overstimulated and thinking about tumblr too much isn't helping that so i think i need a little breather #sdndnd sunday is STILL ON!!! #dw ill still be here just maybe not as much (and maybe not at all tomorrow idk i think i need a social media break) #that and some time to just BE without feeling like i need to constantly be creating and posting #i know a lot of what i do here is post silly jokes but i do put pressure on myself to make em good enough so... yeah #just unlearning my anxious / perfectionistic behaviors and thought processes and trying to find healthier ways to deal with things #love you all you mean the world to me #i think i just need to focus less on boog for a minute and more on... #REDACTED #HA YOU THOUGHT A NAME REVEAL WAS COMING DIDN'T YOU #PSYCH #okay but in all seriousness thanks for reading this if you did <3

[luvsavos]

i deserve financial compensation for the amount of fucking hoops i had to jump through to enable tipping on here

#mar.txt #this is /j obviously i'm just trying to be lighthearted to cope with the Anger ha ha ha :) #oh the urge to throw my phone as hard as possible into a hard surface. but i cannot. not Yet at least. but once i get a job and can get a #new one......... this one's getting destroyed through Brute Force :) #lets see how many times did i have to re-login and redo Everything because the verification thing wouldn't accept my id picture bc it was #'too blurry' so i had to take a picture with my phone camera but i had to clear app caches first because this phone is constantly at 99-100 #storage space. but Then because it fucking sucks ass and if i Breathe in the direction of another app whatever app i just tabbed off of #crashes and i have to reopen it. i had to log back in Again which meant waiting for the text message verification code Again (i live in the #middle of nowhere with a phone that Refuses to use the wifi for calls/texts and instead only uses the shitty cell service) #because Apparently tumblr users aren't allowed to stay logged in nor log in with a password. and Then i had to take a picture of the back #of my id too and i tried using my phone camera straight from the gallery option when i clicked upload. but because my phone sucks That also #crashed my browser and made me log back in. this isnt even counting btw how many times i TRIED to do it through tumblr but it kept stalling #and making me back all the way out log all the way back in and wait on it again for it to go further so i said fuck it and went to my #browser to do it. so i log back in and then i find out not only did attempting to take that picture crash my browser but it didnt even #actually TAKE the picture. so i have to click back over to my camera app Again and take the picture Again and log back in and wait the eons #it takes for things on this phone to load AGAIN. and then i Finally. FINALLY get it completed. #oh but did you think that was all? oh no i STILL had to log back in and load all the way back in Again through tumblr one final time to tel #the app i had done all that! and THEN i could turn tipping on. right? #no. i then had to close the app and reopen it again for it to Let me enable it. otherwise it just tried to take me back to stripe then #proceeded to give me an error message when i tried. great job tumblr #anyways that was infuriating #lmao i forgot to finish the original thought and check #anyways. around 7 or 8 times. that took almost a half hour of struggling i'm pretty sure. enraging☺

[sureuncertainty]

at least now i've gone through an important tumblr rite of passage, watching a longtime mutual become a radfem :/

#the thing that really got me was that they were talking about their morality ocd triggering them about it #bc of the way tumblr and the internet in general has this black and white approach to things #and one of those i guess was 'transphobes = bad' which like. is not what i'm ever talking about when i say that things have more nuance #that said i DO think that the way this website prioritizing hating terfs over supporting trans people is kinda gross #but anyway this person was so anxious about it and it just was depressing bc i related to that #they were SO afraid of losing friends or being cancelled over it and i was just like damn i wonder if all terfs are that miserable #but they acted like they just had no choice but to believe this 'thing' that they constantly alluded to but never talked outright about #which i am pretty sure now is just that they're a radfem or at least believe in a lot of radfem ideologies #and honestly? i go back and forth between genuinely feeling so bad for them and being like well that's what you fucking get #i wish i'd had the courage to talk to them about it but whenever i thought about it i got immeasurable anxiety #sorry for the very long tag ramble i just haven't been able to talk about this and it's been eating ME up too for a long time #i just feel horrible. i know in the past they've mentioned too how they want people to tell them why if they unfollow/block them #but i can't. i cannot. and then i'm afraid of just feeding into their victim complex by doing this #i just can't win. and it's like. i'm trans i am literally affected by their bigotry that they're acting like is just not even a choice #ALSO I REMEMBER HOW THEY MADE A POST ONCE ABOUT HOW PEOPLE IRL DON'T TALK ABOUT TRANS STUFF #LIEK IDK WHAT PLANET YOU ARE LIVING ON MY DUDE BUT I HAVE LIKE 5 TRANS COWORKERS AND EVERYONE IS VERY NORMAL ABOUT THEM #like maybe YOU live in a bad area #but you're just a really loud minority #anyway. yeah. just. oof. #still feeling some kind of anxiety about it #win rambles

[madamescarlette]

You ever have to be like, "no babe you're not bone-breakingly heart-rendingly sad, you just had less than five hours of sleep"? Yeah.

#lack of light november really doing a number on me this year! #this is not a worry-for-me post btw. it's like that comic of the raccoon advising you to shower to eat or to sleep when upset #it's my last full week of being a student going about doing student activities and i keep doing things going what if that's the LAST time?? #which i've been actively trying to avoid doing because when i left my old school i overdid it and i was actively mourning leaving my place #there for the last six months like someone constantly picking at a wound #and while it was the most beautiful time of my life and it might always be i really regret having spent so much #of my final moments there being sorry that it was final because i just grieved it! twice! #i grieved it afterwards and i grieved it beforehand and i kind of wasted my precious time grieving it beforehand #so this time i've been TRYING to practice restraint and not spend my time brooding and just be here instead! #and not say goodbye to every doorway and every leaf and every brick in the pathway until i'm actually saying goodbye #but it suddenly burst into proper fiery colors on all our foliage over the break and i came back and suddenly it was ablaze #with perfect color and i'm walking around this week with my hand on my heart going oh!!! i love you so much #thank you for sending me off like this!!! i loved being here with you!! #so. tis hard not to mourn. but till then there are papers to write and chapters to be read and then girl has to scurry #and write her daily poem before sleep #so it will be alright it will be alright <3 this i believe! #i may delete these tags later because they might be overshare-y or too despondent and not need to be said #but i figure where else can i pour out my heart into a lovingly enfolding void like this <3 #happy Tuesday tumblr i love you all dearly! #thank you for all your tags today btw I will come back and reply to them tomorrow when i'm a bit clearer-minded #thinking out loud

[lesbianbishounen]

there are some pieces of media that i love a lot for a variety of reasons but most of the content on social media about it is ship related. and a lot of the time i like said ships as well but theyre not the reason something impacted me at all i want other kinds of content. but if i have to read a single analysis post from an online stranger that i disagree with i might start blowing people up with my mind

#moral of the story is to only have serious conversations abt stuff u like with ur friends #ill be fr i was thinking about trigun typing this but i could name other things #like witch hat atelier. almost every single piece of wha art ive seen online is orufrey and i love them but like Damn #kingdom hearts too i feel like thats the fanbase that really made it clear to me that i do not like being engaged w fandoms at large #idk. the constant war between me being like 'damn it kinda sucks that some aspects of things i like arent typically discussed online' #vs that allowing me to live my life in peace and never be at risk of seeing someones wrong opinion #bcus i get so fucking tilted when i do. being really into dbz last year was rough for me i was so fucking mad all the time #trying to find character study fics (dont ask) and constantly being like 'he would not fucking say that.' #feel like this also doesnt really bother me for some stuff like orv. like yes joongdok is literally everywhere but #so much of that novel loops back into them that like. a lot of the fanart u see of them reflects themes of the novel itself. #does this make sense. like i still want more hsy art but it doesnt bother me that much that kdj and yjh are literally omnipresent #anyways i love tumblr i can blab as much as i want in the tags vs on twit i have to make longass threads #which makes it look like im posting for engagement or w/e. im not i just need my thoughts out of my head #chatots

[jamiebluewind]

Oh my god could I stop being sick please? It's been two freaking months and I got shit to do!

#nasty bronchitis that ending up putting me in the hospital #I'm behind in doing real life things but also just so freakin tired #i wanna do dumb tumblr stuff #but i already have a post wrote up with links to all the info on shubble/wilbur situation so people don't have to look 50 different places #BUT I also don't wanna make every post I have time to make about... THAT #THAT'S DEPRESSING #but i said i would and I'm a person of my word so... #it's been over a month since I've been able to make a sound #you'd be surprised how bad it is sensory and emotion wise to not be able to laugh or make sounds when you cry or groan in frustration #I'm in PT too because I was so weak by the time I got in the hospital that I couldn't stand #was literally coughing so hard and so constantly that I couldn't keep down food #lost about 25 lbs in 3 weeks according to the doctors (I'm overweight but that is still a LOT for anybody that's not exercising to lose) #going to push myself today because my hair has gotten so thick and long that it's causing too many sensory issues #also a bit of gender dysphoria just to keep it interesting #the person who cuts my hair is aware of how sickly I am and is having me come in when she hasn't been doing a hair treatment before me #still there's a risk of an asthma attack or just collapsing from the short walk #literally do not care #my hair is thick and hot and too long #let me be an androgynous gremlin! #also my cat says hi (he is slapping my phone like No phone love me NOW!!! XD ) #bluewind talks

[toastsnaffler]

i keep getting irrationally miffed at ppl 😐😐

#'impressed by how much u can talk abt this considering youve not played either game' #fuck off. as if im not just trying to show interest bc u + another friend are both into them + constantly talk abt them in our gc!! #i mean since u guys talk abt them all the time + theyre huge on tumblr like. it would be hard for me to not know anything abt them at all #literally what else can i talk to u guys abt anyway. i dont think there are any interests i personally have that they both gaf abt #if anything they actively dislike most of the things im hyperfixated on. or at least she does so like i cant bring that up can i. #all i did was share a post i saw on tumblr that i thought was funny. its not like i had some negative/controversial opinion #i just saw it and thought hey that makes me think of my friends bc they like those things maybe theyll find it funny too!! #dog sitting outside the door with rly big sad eyes offering them a stick i found in a puddle #i like listening to them talk and i will eventually play some of the games theyre into myself cuz they make them sound rly cool #and even if theyre not my kind of thing i like sharing interests with other ppl and sometimes thats enough for me to be able to enjoy it #i literally own some of them already but im just not in the mental space to start smth new right now. which i have SAID!!!! #why do u even care girl. as if u dont already have a ton of friends playing it that ur talking to abt it???? i wont have anything to add #and thats not gonna stop u from being able to talk to me abt it anyway????? like 2/3 of our conversations atm are abt bg3 #man. i know its not that deep but it makes me kinda sad for some reason. im just trying. i guess next time ill just let u guys talk- #to each other or at me and not comment or say anything so u can pretend im not here or whatever it is u want #ughh. she probably didnt even mean it like that and ill feel stupid for getting annoyed and delete this later but whatever. #might work out early today and then i can like draw or play a game or smth the rest of the day. alright lets go #.vent #listening to my silly little jfunk/jazz/soul playlist and i already feel over it. healing

[letstrywritingmaybe]

Okay i know I keep talking about how much I’m enjoying this month’s prompt, but it is starting to get out of hand so I had to just end it. There’s like so much I could add to and ramble about, like this is definitely a long game one (I mean they’re always meant to be slowburn but I’m impatient), the potential for drama and everyone else getting into their business! The denial, the whole fuck it we ball, adding different characters and playing with the dynamics! There’s just a lot okay, and this is only one of the sports I love. I’ve already plotted in my mind the other two sports AU’s and the vibes and roles they have there is just everything to me. I’m well aware no one cares, and I do want to finish my WIPs before I even think about starting a whole sports series. But yeah, I’m just very excited cause my fandom is colliding and it’s so self indulgent. Even more so than anything else I’ve ever written. My American is definitely showing and I don’t even have to try and tone it down, it’s part of the fic, I get to be as biased as I want with absolutely no shame. Love this for me <3

Update: what a wonderful sports day, and I finished the October prompts! Which means I get to focus on my WIPs hopefully… I’ve got a lot of fun things to do this month so I’ll probably be distracted. But I’m hopeful I’ll finally be done with IWICL, or at the very least update Devour (I’m like two chapters ahead I believe but I haven’t edited, so I’ll have to get on that.)

#cynply rambling #I always get weird looks when people find out I’m into sports and not just as a casual fan #like my friends get it and love seeing me get excited but it’s also terrible cause I will scream and cry in public too #and I know tumblr hates it and I don’t exactly fit in with the sports side here either #so i constantly feel out of place like I’m too crazy which fair but I also have no chill in general #and really with all the negativity I receive from it I really shouldn’t be a fan anymore #not to mention it is my most toxic fandom #but I just can’t let it go. it’s like telling me to stop listening to music. impossible #so yeah make fun or continue to ignore me whatever. I’m still going to root for my team and be loud about it #side note I actually really miss flufftober but there’s no way I can participate cause I’m doing this #but I really miss fluff. there has not been enough of it lately and it’s low key killing me #I already think this ship is so tragic so it really brings me down when I see more misunderstandings and angst #don’t get me started on mcd. absolutely not #so yeah. I miss fluff and I wish we got more of it. no more drama I’m tired of it #I just want my ship to be cute together and kiss #(I say as this months prompt does not follow a fluff route either. it’s why I’m deprived okay)

[celestial-sapphicss]

.

#so i just finished s1ep2 of the bear (i don't really get it so far but ok) #and there's this scene where the main character calls up his sister and tells her about the mental shit that has been happening with him uk #and like even though this feeling is always there but lile i can't help but feel like my life would have been so much better with a sibling? #like one id have good relationships with uk??? #and ik ik found family and forming meaningful relationships outside is an option but like in this capitalistic individualist society? is it? #anyways that's not the point it's that there's always stuff no body in the world would get except people who grow up with you innit? #be it school or hometowns or families and it would have been nice to have someone help me not feel this complete overwhelmness all the time #and without me feeling like im exaggerating or thinking that the person would judge me or having to keep telling everything repeatedly #but then i think would that even matter when I am the one who's the problem and like can't work to form that connection with anyone????? #like i for the life of me cannot share anything beyond the surface level or without making a joke out of it #and it seems funny but i trivialise so much of the fucking shit that happens so obviously no one takes it seriously not their fault right? #and like how fair to my friends that i literally almost always been superficial and lowkey untrue with them in exchange for their honesty??? #at this point i feel like i don't even know what i truly feel or truly am because whenever i look back at my past self im like wtf #idk most of the times it just feels like being 'stuck' in a glass container and me not 'letting' anyone in if that makes sense? #ik im being very annoying about it but im just so tierd of feeling like this its been a decade & its way too long to constantly feeling dead #and im so fucking stubborn in my sadness that i won't even go get help after years of crying about wanting it & now finally having resources #it's like this mental block which i can't seem to remove and i feel like even if i do get help ill still be untrue so what's the point!??? #yeahhhhh anyways i'll delete this later i don't journal so tumblr will have to make do #vi.txt

[filet-o-feelings]

I forgot getting into this bed at my parents' house is basically an Olympic sport for someone of my height.

My parents got an alarm so I'm now locked in and can't even open a window. It's hot in here and nice outside and I just want to open a window 😭

#sorry for complaining I'm grumpy and just need sleep and real food #I'm actually very happy to be here but also I just want to cry #shopping tomorrow with mom for last minute christmas gifts and cold brew #and maybe some tea because they don't have tea in this house #I brought some but I want a decaf option because I really wanted tea tonight before bed #yes I want tea even though I complain about being too warm #just like I hate cold weather but drink iced coffee all winter #I like what I like #this is getting away from me #but honestly would I even be me without a novel of rambly tags? #I want to drink more cold water but then I'll have to pee and that means getting back out of and into this bed again #i don't know how it's so tall #I basically have to throw myself onto it 😂 #it's not fun when I'm so tired! #okay I'm going to try to catch up on what I missed today #I surprised myself by not being on tumblr constantly in the car #how are you all doing? #if you made it this far please tell me about your day! ❤️

[atomicc]

Hold on

#I'm going to keep freaking out on my tumblr blog because it's mine and I do what the hell I want with it #I hate that like. I hate that. That. Like. #I hate that the things about myself that I love are also things about myself that I hate #Does this make sense #I love that I'm full of wonder or whatever and love for things and get so excited and happy to talk about them #And that I know alot about things most people don't #But I hate that I just. Talk at length about things people just don't care about #And over explain things and just talk and talk and talk #And never catch myself until it's too late #And no one responds because it's fucking useless information they have no interest in #I love that I draw and draw and draw #And draw for me and myself and I #But I hate that I draw so much and it's so catered to my interests that no one give a shit!! #I love that I'm sensitive and able to connect with people and understand them #But I hate that I'm constantly hurt and upset about other people hurting #And forgive people who don't deserve forgiveness #I love my autism I hate my autism #I hate my anxiety and depression #I hate my psychosis and ptsd and whatever stupid shit else I have #I hate that I think almost everyone finds me really annoying and unbearable #But I'm so glad and thankful for the people I know don't #I hate that no one listens to me #But I'm thankful for the people who do or at least try #It's so much #I'm so tired #It's been two lifetimes of this #Of being this. This THING. that very few people genuinely understand and want around #Being so alien to everyone and everything #Hardly ever finding connections that won't use or abuse me #Not knowing if I'm a good person or worth spending time around