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hadesknockedupintheunderworld · 1 month

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I'm gonna share with you guys a post canon Sonic Prime thought I've been having since I watched S3

So after S3 I accidentally became obsessed with Oasis's song Wonderwall, which gave me simultaneous Sonine/Chanine thoughts

I don't think I'll dig too much into what the lyrics made me think, I just needed to put that out there for more context.

So imagine Sonic after the events of Sonic Prime. After Shadow made off with the paradox prism, he ended up handing it off to Tails. He didn't trust GUN with being in possession of a gem of such power, and (given his track record with the chaos emeralds) he felt that he could trust that Tails would keep it safe and figure out a better way to keep it hidden.

So, for the time being, Tails keeps it hidden deep underground under one of his many labs. He figures out a way to harness and contain the prism in such a way that keeps it from overloading his systems or having the chance of expressing excess energy in a possibly chaotic fashion (essentially recreating the idea behind the shatterdrive or the chaos council's power core schematics), and then also develops the technology that would keep the prism hidden from anyone specifically searching for paradox prism energy or chaos energy in excess.

With this, Sonic, Shadow, and Tails are the only people aware of the paradox prism's location.

Shadow, being who he is, checks up on the prism fairly often (at least once in a while) out of concern for anything happening to it.

Tails, being who he is, does run more than a few experiments on the prism's energy and documents as much data on the prism he can technically get "safely"

But Sonic... After the events of Prime, Sonic was so happy to finally be home again (not just physically in green hill, but with his friends). All he's wanted for so long (once green hill would finally be fixed) is for things to fall back into its usual (predictive) rhythm, and he succeeded (to an extent). Sure, there will be a baseline level of weirdness for a while. After all, Sonic's friends practically blinked and then Sonic was a different person (a Sonic who went through trauma and an ordeal they will likely never learn the full details of), so it makes sense. But...that's not all. If it was just that Sonic changed and grew in an instant, then after enough time they'd all grow used to the way things are now. No, the problem isn't how everything that happened affects Sonic's friends.

Rather it's about Sonic himself. This is what he wanted all along! He'd felt so happy to be home among his friends again, didn't he? He does enjoy being able to slot into the old routine, fighting Eggman, hanging out with his friends on the beach, having a long day of fighting/adventuring with Tails and then eating a chili dog with him when all is said and done. So...why does he still feel wrong?

But...Sonic does know why he feels wrong, why he can't just fully settle into his old life dispite enjoying such a life. He just handles it by...not really handling it. He puts on a face when he's with his friends or fighting Eggman, trying to seem like his life is *right* again and he's 100% happy about things progressing as normal and fulfilled in his life. But when he stops running, when he crashes at Tails' place and is forced to be alone with his thoughts, Sonic retreats to where the paradox prism is being kept.

The paradox prism is one of those few things that remind him that everything happened. These days, it's hard not to feel like he must have made up his time in the shatterspaces or the shattering, that he just sort of changed one day inexplicably, that one day Shadow will turn to him and tell him that none of it happened (because Shadow is the one person who should know that it happened, the one person he should be able to rely on being in the same boat as him). At first it was something he did once in a while, giving the same excuse as Shadow about just checking up on the prism, but now Sonic sits by the prism every night he can, gazing into it.

Shadow thinks he's too sentimental about the ordeal, but Sonic didn't really expect him to understand why he'd want to remember everything. It didn't really take Tails too long to catch on to Sonic's sneaking away to look at it either, but Tails doesn't really mind it. If it wasn't for his patience and voice of reason and the fact that Tails cares about him, Sonic probably wouldn't be able to sleep as much as he is (although, during those times the two are both down there looking at the prism, or Sonic is looking at the prism while Tails is up late working on something, it's 50/50 whether they even make it to a bed or couch that night).

The first time he studied the prism Sonic learned something peculiar. Apparently, if one focuses when looking at different colored angles, they can see visions of the other shatterspaces (like a tiny window into the world). This revelation was...exciting to say the least, and even moreso when he found out that he could view certain inhabitants just by thinking about them.

And that should have fixed his issue. Every night if he wants, he can check up on anyone, make sure they're alive and not getting into trouble. He does check up on them.

But more often than not, especially once he's secure in thinking the others are alive and real and okay, he finds himself gazing into that purple section of the crystal, and thinking about Nine.

Nine's okay, he knows. Well, alive at least. Part of him dislikes that Nine is still so estranged from everyone else in the shatterverse, and his heart still aches at having left Nine alone back in the Grim. He can’t say he's gung ho about some of the specific robots Nine chose as company either, but nevertheless he watches. He watches Nine rebuild his Grim robots (starting with alpha grim sonic), restore Chaos Sonic, use the materials he has to build a community of his own (even if they are all robots). It's not ideal, but Nine is safe and growing and not fully alone anymore right?

But as he retreats to the prism practically every night, he watches the grim more than anywhere else, and his heart aches.

Because while he'd love to be able to visit and adventure whenever he'd like, for the rest it's...okay enough. He can live with it as long as he can gaze into the paradox prism, so long as he can at least have his home. But with Nine it's...not enough. It's not enough just to know that he's alive and not completely alone.

Sometimes, when Sonic is having fun and comfortable at home, he can’t help but think of how he left Nine—with no one but his own creations to care for him, while just about everyone else hates him.

"I don't believe that anybody feels the way I do about you now"

When Sonic is gazing into the prism, he wants to be there. He wants to be in the Grim with Nine, congratulate him, hug him (when he allows it), talk with him about everything, or just hang out. What good is knowing he's alive when he can't even hear Nine's voice or hold his hand or try to make him smile? What good is sitting there, caring about him from afar, when Nine has no way to know it?

When Sonic is out adventuring or fighting Eggman or hanging out with his friends, he wants Nine to be here. He wants to show him the friends he'd do anything for, he wants him to meet Tails for real, he wants to take him along on adventures or even...the little things. Maybe he wants to eat street food and watch the sunrise with him, or watch Nine and Tails geek out together (his two foxes getting a chance to actually get along).

He wants to be there for everything. He wants to share everything here with Nine.

He wants to see him he wants to see him he wants to see him and not just from afar. It kills him that he's the only one who wants this.

If the shatterspaces weren't so closed off, if he could even visit Nine whenever he wanted, that would make him feel better. But he's stuck here. Missing Nine all the time, always torn between here and there (because he never would have stayed, but he hated to leave).

And Nine? Nine could never forget Sonic—not as long as he lived. Even if he came to bury the memories of the past—of his time in New Yoke, or the war—he couldn't forget Sonic even if he wanted to. Part of him felt embarrassed about this truth, if not a bit pathetic, but the other part of him owned this. It would be easy to forget, but he doesn't want to.

Nine was...alone for a little while after the war—after Sonic left. At first he was just...depressed. Everything that had happened since he first met Sonic began to fully sink in, and he missed Sonic, and yet chided himself for it. Sonic wouldn't understand that Nine has never been this same since meeting him. He'd wished Sonic would choose to stay with him so so so many times, but he knew now that it wasn't meant to be. For one thing, he had to be taken back to his home if he wanted to live. For another, it was...funny to him that it had taken so long for him to accept that Sonic never would have stayed in the Grim with him, that he could never be Sonic's first choice. And now...he couldn't take that away from him. He's dreamed and imagined so many senarios in which Sonic took his hand, or in which they figured out another way to keep Sonic from shattering and Sonic chose to give up finally going home to stay with him and sometimes even what would have happened had he gone with Sonic and Shadow. But in the end, no matter how much he wants, he'd never make Sonic choose him. He'd never beg him to stay, try and get him to leave his home and his friends. And part of that is due to the guilt of even trying or believing it could be possible. And another (of many parts) is because, deep down, he's not sure if he deserves this.

After everything that happened between them, after everything he did (even if Sonic wasn't a peach either), did he...even deserve to have Sonic at his side?

He couldn't wallow forever, though. No. He eventually set to rebuilding Alpha Grim Sonic with the tools in his lab. And that helped just a little with the loneliness. And then his second pet project was to figure out how to replicate Chaos Sonic, and everything that made him (but loyal to himself of course). Nine was surprised he even had residuals prism energy left after the paradox prism itself teleported away, but he knows that (if not the power in it) the memories held within the prism's energy were invaluable to recreating the robot.

There wasn't much on the Grim, but Nine could do only his best to make it home. Not that he knew what it would ideally look like, especially with Sonic gone, but he gave it a try. He'd come to create new robots and rebuild others—ones that could not move against him, but nevertheless we able to live freely. And as this society of robots began, and they began to build things for themselves, Nine found the inspiration to join in on creating this home for all of them.

An addition he'd been quite proud of was the large statue in the center square of his bustling robot community—a statue depicting himself and Sonic.

This all would take quite a while to build, and it would take quite a long time to get to this point, but it was something. The time spent on all of this gave Nine something to do, made him feel like he was getting ever closer to making things "home".

But even with Alpha Grim Sonic and Chaos Sonic at his side, a whole community to preside over, and ultimate authority in a place no outsider could infiltrate

He knew it would never be complete. He strove for all this because he had to, because he couldn't let himself wither away here. He had to find some way to live and enjoy himself and TRY to make this place the home he always wanted. He couldn't give up.

Of course, it's Sonic that's missing (because everything always seems to come back to him with Nine at some point). When the statue was finished and placed in the center square, he'd wished Sonic could have been there to see it. When he's sad, when he's depressed, when he's happy, when he's showing off or accomplished something, when he's having a laugh, or needs a hug—all the time he wishes Sonic was here with him to take it all in.

It would be even a little better if Sonic had the ability to visit. Or, if there was no other way, sometimes Nine thinks he'd even brave entering Green Hill just to be around him for a little bit.

"I don't believe that anybody feels the way I do about you now"

Alpha Grim Sonic and Chaos Sonic have been with Nine the longest since all the shatterspaces became closed off from each other and Nine was left here alone. His two bodyguards, ever by his side.

Alpha Grim Sonic has had this budding personality and soul that's been growing ever since his creation. But because of this slow process, because of him originally being created as solely obedient to Nine without pushback, and because he's mute, it would take a long while before he'd be considered as more than a loyal robot, not able to live beyond its programming.

So, for a while, Chaos Sonic fancied himself the only one of the pair who really felt for Nine and what he'd been through. To him, he was Nine's one and only best friend.

While Sonic would gaze at Nine from afar, worlds apart, through the paradox prism.

Chaos Sonic stood at his side, talked to him, cared for him, helped him. He was more than the loyal thoughtless bot he thought Alpha Grim Sonic was. He'd be a better best friend than Sonic ever was. He couldn't fathom how Nine would continue to hold onto Sonic's memory after everything that had happened.

So Chaos Sonic, too, began to feel like the only other person who really cared about Nine after everything that had happened to him (even if he'd eventually concede that Alpha Grim Sonic had similar feelings and loyalties regarding Nine)

Sonic and Nine, worlds apart, missing each other.

Sonic and Chaos Sonic, each fancying themselves Nine's true best friend, and the only person who truly cares about him now.

Sonic and Nine, who each want the other to be at their side, but would be content to at least meet again.

Chaos Sonic and Alpha Grim Sonic, two loyal robots who want to forever be by Nine's side, and yet know they'll always play second fiddle to Sonic.

ㅤ

I am so emotional about it

I learned that apparently Wonderwall was depicting a person and their imaginary friend, which hurt more when thinking about all this. Sonic, who may as well be imaginary, because he can see and he can wish but he can never touch. And Chaos Sonic, who may as well be imaginary to those like Sonic, because only Nine really begins to consider him (and eventually Alpha Grim Sonic) as real.

Periodically I just get this imaginary wonderwall amv playing in my head depicting Nine's actions pre and post canon + Sonic and Chaos Sonic each getting a chance to be the speaker of the song

I'm so emotional about them

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not-poignant · 2 months

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Hi Pia

Your previous post regarding burnout really resonates with me as I'm currently struggling through a mountain's worth of uni assignments.

I hopeyou're being compassionate to yourself where you can. I know you rely on your writing for income but ould cutting down to working on only 2 or 3 fics instead be a viable solution?

Because longterm I don't think that even your insanely impressive skills can hold up to that kind of pressure.

Maybe if you cut back a little you'll be able to enjoy your hobbies again and rest a little more.

I know that I'm not the only reader that wants you to take care of yourself x

Hi anon,

Firstly, good luck with all those assignments! I do not miss the grind of uni when all the assignments suddenly seem due at the same time and it's like 'oh fuck' and it just...is truly exhausting. Remember to take a break after if you can!

I am trying to be compassionate where I can. Working on expanding my capacity / juice left in the tank is actually a big priority with both therapists this year, and it's something I'm actively chipping away at.

Unfortunately cutting down fics is not really something I can do because it would personally stress me out more to put a lot of things on hiatus like that. Underline the Red is already on hiatus, and The Nascent Diplomat on my end is finished, and I'll take a few months off after that before starting the next installment.

Ideally I will be finishing out some fics that will clear my calendar a bit more over time. For example, A Stain that Won't Dissolve won't last forever, and isn't going to be replaced by anything new (Palmarosa will likely slot into that space and I'll be able to work on it more). Underline the Black will be replaced by Underline the Red, and Blue and Gold will be replaced by Underline the Silver.

Eventually, ideally, I'll be working on a smaller and smaller load until I'm at about 2-4 projects (which is how I used to work). Also quite a few of my projects only update once a month or every few months, and that helps a lot. It's just that I have too many fics where I'm on a more regular schedule (Stain, Palm, Black) and normally I only have one or two fics that are on a more regular schedule, so yeah, I am looking forward to that slowing down!

But putting something on hiatus just makes me feel more burdened and overwhelmed than knowing I'm getting closer and closer to wrapping something up. It's just how my brain works! I am a finisher, and while that's really good for not abandoning projects (which is extremely rare for me and tends to only be very short projects or PWPs which I will turn away from), it's less good when I have too many projects lmao. I've gotten better at holding back (there's three fics I'm dying to write right now, which is an Efnisien/Kadek fic that I've already started but not posted anything of, Silver, and Red).

So yeah, I will be cutting back. I've already started. The Nascent Diplomat is no longer on my schedule, which means for the next 3 months while it's still posting, I don't have to write anything for it. That's lovely because I can still share in that world with no extra labour (it's edited and everything). Likewise, Stain and Black are both in their last act/s now. That's still a lot of chapters for both, but it feels good for me to know that both will likely be finished out this year.

But we are getting there! So yeah the view is to cut down on projects, but organically (by finishing out stories and not replacing every single one with new titles, only some of them) rather than forcefully via hiatuses. I mean obviously if I get too sick I will have to go on hiatus and I've done that before, but so far it's looking like I've written enough chapters ahead (most of May is written) that I can take about 2 weeks off from writing in April, and that will help a great deal as well. :)

Anyway, take care with your assignments too! I do not miss that part of uni at all

#asks and answers #personal #pia on writing #i have actually enjoyed stories where i only update once a month #like constellations and TND #as well as something more regular like Black #and something a bit different like Blue and Gold #a big problem - which is frankly a lovely problem to have - is that i'm so *excited* to work on all these stories truly #none of them bore me or disinterest me #even the ones i'm not working on right now #i'm so enthusiastic about all of them #i just need to get better at patience which my ADHD brain finds frustrating #but i am getting there!#just getting TND finished feels lovely #like bittersweet but also lovely #and it will continue to feel that way as i shave off at the schedule #to get back to something more human #i appreciate you anon - make sure you're taking care

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deimcs · 1 year

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ALL THAT REMAINS | act 2 closing mission

#daedit #da2edit #dragonageedit #gamingedit #hawkeedit #dragon age #da #da2 #dimitri hawke #leandra hawke #edit #very ironic to replay this with dimitri #who really hasn't that good of a relationship with his mother #but i mean. both leandra and malcolm canonically aren't parents of the year tbh #especially to their oldest #eldest sibling syndrome going strong in this game #but this quest is still so bittersweet #knowing that no matter what. now hawke is truly alone.

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hjartasalt · 9 months

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Two cats I met while strolling through Tallin, thought you might appreciate them :)

I do!! I do appreciate them!!!! The tuxedo one even looks a bit like my Gríma :')

#ask #geminating #last night I dreamt she was still here with me #it was very bittersweet #I'm a rather lucid dreamer so even as I held her in my dream I knew it was only temporary #I also don't usually remember my dreams and this is a good thing usually cause I have chronic nightmares but I'm glad I did now #even though it did mean it kinda sucked to wake up without her #I'm just thankful for the small moments I still glimpse of her as my brain tries to process her loss #one day I will no longer remember the softness of her fur or the exact sound of her purr but that day is not today so until then #I am grateful for every moment my mind is able to accurately bring her to life in my dreams #she's not truly gone until she's forgotten and I plan on remembering her for as long as I can #sorry these tags are kinda heavy :(#I miss her

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storm-driver · 1 month

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Having finished the DLCs in full, and thus gotten my fill of FFXVI in its entirety (save the Final Fantasy mode and the Kairos Gate endings), I can officially say, with all certainty, FFXVI is a game that exists.

Spoilers below the cut for FFXVI and its DLCs.

I'm not one to mince words when I wanna gush about a game I love. And FFXVI has the makings of something truly fucking incredible. Wonderful fight choreography, out-of-this-world kaiju battles, music that brings you to tears through passion alone, environments that speak for their rich history, characters with such strong bases and motivations, all tied up in a bow of underwhelming character writing and a misguided ending to what could've been one of the best stories I'd seen in the JRPG genre.

I wanna reiterate: I love this game. I think FFXVI is fucking amazing, was worth the 60$ price tag, and it's two DLCs were very fun to play through. I stand by my original word that Clive Rosfield is one of the best FF protagonists we've gotten since Final Fantasy X.

However, loving the game for what it does right can stand in the same room as disliking the game for what it does wrong. It's unfortunate that I feel the need to tear into the game like this, given how much I want to praise its feats. And I still will, I still think this game is worth playing in spite of what it does wrong. But it also be remiss of me to say "just ignore these parts of the game!" and hope that people can turn a blind eye like I can.

I was hoping the DLC could ammend something I originally disliked about the original game: the ending. The ending is by far one of the most contested parts of the game when it comes to discussing the positives and negatives. Some people like the ambiguity of it all, others would rather have the truth spilled.

For me personally, I'm not in either field. Because I don't think the ending to the game is a culmination of the journey Clive takes. It does not feel genuine. It doesn't feel like he deserved his fate to be left up to guessing. If he died on that beach or if he let his name fade away in history in favor of his brother. Neither of those choices speak to me as "Yeah, that's where the story was going."

It's bitter. Not bittersweet. Plain bitter. It feels like a kick in the teeth for trying to fight his destiny. How dare he try to change fate for himself and the world. You are now cursed to live a false life, if you even survive that long. Not even your dust will be remembered.

Now, my fervent and desperate hopes regarding this game were that the acquisition of the Leviathan eikon would change his fate. After all, we saw at the end of the game that Clive was an "incomplete" vessel, thought we're never told exactly why. The assumption is the missing Eikon in Leviathan. But if not Leviathan missing, what is? Is his humanity itself keeping him grounded, to a point where he cannot change his fate? The fate of his brother?

Is the ending, and I ask this with the utmost of curiousity, meant to tell us that Clive was destined to lose everything in the end? That fighting his shackles only helped the world, and he couldn't even save himself or his brother? That a price must be paid for hubris on this grand a scale, and Clive is the unfortunate victim of it all?

This game screamed to me constantly that he wasn't going to die easily. He would not let himself lose everything he'd worked so hard to retain. For god's sake, the main message of the Bearers and Dominants is that they should get to choose how to live their life, and to live their life to the fullest.

The ending of the game speaks of inevitability. A direct contrast to everything Clive was fighting for. The ending doesn't do a good job of making it feel like a bittersweet victory, as it just kills off Joshua and deliberately tells Clive, "Nope, not good enough."

I digress, this is gripes with the ending, and how I had hoped it would change. Obviously my hopes were misplaced. Or maybe I'm jaded and trying to interpret this in ways that the writers didn't intend. But I can't help but percieve it this way, especially when I look at other people discussing the DLC and finding a lot of them thought the same.

Another thing, the hidden Eikon in the Kairos gate content. Ultima being an eikon you channel. I genuinely do not understand the point of this eikon outside of it being a means for trailer bait. Because that's all it ending up being. No story implications. Not even true practical usage besides being intense damage nukes and an overall homage to Ultima as a source of power. Prove me wrong if something at the end of Kairos gate ends up being story related, but I have a very strong feeling it is not.

#ffxvi #sorry if i seem so upset in this post #i truly love this game i do #but god do these writers disappoint #there's so much wasted opportunity #and such a huge misunderstanding on how to deliver hopefully vs bittersweet vs downright depressing messages

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chilapis · 19 days

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I think every moment is eternal in its own right and we hold no authority to deny it that status. Even if it is a forever that will escape our memories, it’ll still exist as a forever in the history of time. In the memories of no-one but the Earth itself. In the records kept and made by no-one, where everything is stored for all time to come. No love is lost and no existence truly unacknowledged.

#even the moment that one may spare to read this post; it’ll be a second dedicated forever in the records of time just to this simple post.#fleeting moments of attention and acknowledgement that aren’t so fleeting at all because they still existed and still do in a way.#it is tragic that we must associate a certain event to a date for it to become a joyous occasion. there’ll never be another 1/5/24.#is that not enough for it to be special itself?#one may argue that they have nothing to remember random days by and that is true.#but not every moment of delight and pleasure is to be remembered I think. to be entirely honest with you I barely hold any memory of #literally anything prior to 2022 perhaps.#but that doesn’t mean that those moments didn’t exist or don’t hold their own importance.#because even if I don’t remember and even if any other parties don’t remember. those moments still exist forever in history in a way.#And even if we don’t remember. The earth surely does; right? The ground must remember the weight and shift of our feet as we walked.#I just think it’s bittersweet that even if ‘forgotten’; nothing truly ceases to exist or be truly forgotten because it still existed.#there is a moment dedicated in this world’s history — into matter how short in duration — dedicated entirely to that event.#whether it be something as simple as just going for a week and appreciating the setting sun.#do you understand or do i sound mad.#i don’t know; i have a feeling it might be because my birthday is approaching soon and i’ve had a-lot on my mind.#neutral things mostly so fret not.#i think i need to go for a walk.#🥀#‘2022’#this is a blatant lie actually I don’t even remember 2023 #i am. trying my best to recall my last birthday and nothing seems to be coming up so. do with this what you will.

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anonymoususeru · 6 days

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A Comforting Memory (Draft?)

A Costume Set Story for Bittersweet Choco Cookie's Young Princess and Dark Choco Cookie's Young Prince.

Aka, Pas gives some silly lore drop on Tumblr for once about the idiotic siblings that have daddy issues but copes with it differently fr.

Dark Choco Cookie was going about his day, looking and helping all the other citizens in the kingdom as much as he could. Unlike his father, all he wanted was to help the people in the Kingdom he would eventually rule. The people needed help and Dark Choco Cookie was willing to go against his father's words for it.

However, there's a strange sense of nostalgia in mind whenever Dark Choco Cookie helped any young cookies from being slain. A young Milk Villager seemed to look up to him greatly and wanted to be like him, a hero. It's strange, he always saw himself as a great person but to see someone looking up to him..it was almost like back then. When she was still around.

As Dark Choco Cookie went to retire to his room in the Black Citadel one day, he wanted to go to her room, in a restricted area. The room that belonged to someone who had run off all those years ago. Dark Choco Cookie always wanted to seek his older sister out but was never given the chance to.

It was almost like Bittersweet Choco Cookie was still there when Dark Choco Cookie entered her room, now abandoned but well kept. A small smile as he saw a portrait of her wearing the royal robes. Just by looking at the portrait, Dark Choco Cookie couldn't help but smile and remembered fondly about the words of her cheering him up every time when he was down. Looking around in his older sister's room, he couldn't help but remember a fond memory he has of her.

It was just after the two finished their classes. Dark Choco Cookie was summoned by Dark Cacao Cookie to talk about it. While he could not remember what it was about now, Dark Choco Cookie knew he was sad from whatever his father said. But it was like Bittersweet Choco Cookie knew when he was sad and when to come to his side because she walked to his side almost right away after Dark Cacao Cookie finished talking to him.

"Oh..did he scold you again?" The way his older sister spoke to him made Dark Choco Cookie go to hug her immediately. Dark Choco Cookie couldn't remember what Dark Cacao Cookie said, all he remembered was how the words made him sad. He remembered how his older sister hugged him back and made sure he's okay.

"Shhh, it doesn't matter what he says about you, you know. You'll always be more than enough to me. Always."

The words back then felt like the light that Dark Choco Cookie needed to be cheered up. As he looked at his older sister, who always gave him a gentle smile, wearing the royal robes and making sure he's okay.

As Dark Choco Cookie snapped out of it, he quickly realized a peculiar thing about the portrait. It was like his own mind made him see the portrait the way it should be. Who vandalized the portrait? Why was his older sister's face not there anymore?

Maybe…he should try to seek her out when he can.

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