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sytoran · 7 months

Note

Could I request a Natasha x reader where R and Nat are driving home from a party but their car breaks down so they call someone to come help them fix it and while they’re waiting they fuck outside on the back of the car…strap on pls

𝐃𝐀𝐘 𝟎𝟏𝟎 — 𝐏𝐔𝐁𝐋𝐈𝐂 𝐒𝐄𝐗

kinktober day 010 | milf!natasha x fem!mechanic!reader

natasha's had a completely shit day, and the last straw is when her car breaks down on the way home. the unbelievably sexy mechanic who shows up to fix her car makes it an unforgettable night.

note. i might've changed the plot so R is the mechanic. trust me on that decision.

cont. strap-on use, daddy kink, horniness, hot mechanic stuff

word count. 3435 (yall are getting fed)

kinktober masterlist || main masterlist

In her weathered thirties, Natasha had retired as an Avenger and chose a life that had always been nothing more than a distant dream.

By adopting two beautiful children and becoming a mother, it was almost like she was flipping off the Red Room for what they had done to her. It was an act of justice, a long sought-after victory, throwing away her past but embracing the lessons it had taught her.

However, despite how much the future she carved for herself had changed, one thing hadn’t — and that was the people who had been by her side throughout her journey to normalcy.

Kate, that human embodiment of a golden retriever, was all about ‘bringing the Avengers together, old and new’, and ‘forging stronger bonds in the pursuit of justice’. Hence came the monthly parties that involved the wealth of Bishop Security, too much alcohol, and one too many bad decisions.

For Natasha, the party had spun out of control like a series of unfortunate events: From the raspberry martini Thor had spilled on her, to the ripped dress from a stupid dare from Rocket to climb the fence, and the incredibly awkward seven minutes in heaven with Bruce.

Right now, the ex-Avenger wanted nothing more than to dive under the warm blankets and close her eyes and shut the world out. Go home to her two bundles of joy. Be engulfed in the warmth of comfort and release. Maybe even let Liho sleep on the bed for once.

She needs to get back home a little faster. Natasha accelerates.

Her eyes are on the road, gripping the steering wheel with a steely frown. The road is dark, the lamps are flickering. There’s a thought lingering in the back of her mind, like an itch that simply wouldn’t go away.

It was embarrassing to admit, but Natasha had done far worse: She was unarguably sexually frustrated. After saving the universe and transitioning into a life of motherhood, she hardly had any time to alleviate her stress in that kind of way.

Today was one of those days, then, where she would once again have to retreat into the confines of her shower and spend a little longer than she should. Or perhaps, dive under the sheets and reach into her bedside table for that plastic purple toy.

Natasha steps on the pedal a little harder. She accelerates again – the engine splutters.

"Fuck, shit, don't do this to me now," she growls, angrily slapping her steering wheel while a frown creases her eyebrows.

It only takes the car three more streetlamps to absolutely die out on her, coming to a screeching halt, in the dead of the night, in the middle of nowhere. Comically, the sound of something fusing inside her engine follows right after.

Natasha lets the groan of frustration fall freely, forehead hitting the centre of the steering wheel. The resounding sound of the car honking echoes in the emptiness of the place, like a mockery of Natasha’s misfortune.

She climbs out of the car reluctantly, slowly lifting the bonnet open and staring blankly at the mechanical parts before her.

Natasha was a woman of many capabilities, those of which included being able to assassinate three grown men with a pencil, speak fifteen languages fluently, raise two kids with an attitude more stubborn than hers, save the fucking world, in fact, but fixing cars was not one of them.

Gradually, the car parts in the engine began to look more and more like ancient hieroglyphs that Natasha would spend a lifetime trying to decipher.

She pulls out her cell phone to call someone for assistance, before realizing that basically all of her friends were likely piss-drunk at that stupid party, and would never pick up. (Okay, she also didn’t have a social life other than her ex-comrades in battle, but could you really blame Natasha?)

As the redhead closed her eyes, irritation danced in the darkness of her vision, flickering in specks of white and then burning red. Natasha resigns to her doomed fate.

Calling up the roadside assistance services would mean spending an insanely long amount of time waiting, then having her car towed to the auto-repair shop, henceforth allowing the mechanics there to actually fix up her car, and by the time she retreated into the warmth of her bedroom at home it would very much be far past midnight.

Pulling out her phone with a stately reluctance, Natasha searches up the nearest available mechanic services, dials in the designated number, and begins her wait for comfort and satisfaction.

***

If Natasha previously had any qualms or complaints about waiting for roadside assistance, her mouth was now sealed shut with lock and key. In fact, she would much rather let the mechanic that just arrived assist her in several other ways.

“Sorry for the wait, Ma’am, we were almost about to close shop,” you say, climbing out of the pickup truck then jumping down.

You flick your hair out of your eyes and send a bright smile to your last client of the day, seemingly oblivious to the effect you had on the woman. “I’m Y/N, happy to be at your service.”

Now, Natasha certainly had her own suspicions that she wasn’t entirely straight, but those queries had been confirmed within a good five seconds.

It was too cliche to be real, almost. Natasha swallows as her eyes rake over your tight-fitting white tank top that showed off the most stunning bodily anatomy she had ever seen, each muscle carved from a meticulous sculptor, dirtied cargo pants hanging loose to reveal the band of a pair of black boxers.

“Ma’am?” you repeat, lifting up a heavy toolbox with one hand, failing to notice that Natasha’s gaze is glued on to the flexed muscles of your right arm.

“O-oh,” the ex-Avenger mumbles in embarrassment – Oh, Yelena would cackle to see her like this – “Sorry, what was your question?”

You only tilt your head and give her a polite smile. “I was asking what seems to be the issue with your car.”

Natasha nods vigorously, then walks stiffly towards her car. Her clammy hands struggle to lift the bonnet for a moment, and in a second you’re next to her, single-handedly lifting the cover with a thoughtful smile.

Natasha feels the heat rush to her cheeks and she looks away quickly. She was acting like a lovesick high school girl, for God’s sakes. Get it together, she chides.

When she looks back up again, you have a wrench in hand, twirling it around. Natasha has her eyes glued to your tattoos and the way your fingers spin the tool.

“I’ll loosen this up a bit, see what we’re dealing with.” You say, fastening the wrench into place. Natasha barely has time to nod her acknowledgement before her breath gets stolen from her again.

The muscle of your forearm ripples like a satisfying wave when you jerk the wrench, and Natasha’s breath gets stolen away by the wind. She watches as your fingers expertly wrap around the tool, your other hand gripping the front of the car, and your next effort has Natasha getting wetter in places she shouldn’t.

“I think this part needs to be oiled,” you say, your even voice hauling Natasha out of her erotic fantasy. You look at your client curiously, innocently gesturing towards the toolbox next to her feet. “Would you be an angel and hand me the oiler?”

Angel.

Natasha’s heart races as she bends down to pick up your toolbox. (Okay, she definitely bends down a little too far, but she feels your eyes glued onto her ass, and she considers that a victory.) When she hands you the toolbox, your fingertips graze over her hand, and Natasha’s breath hitches a little too obviously.

By some holy deity’s work, you don’t comment or react to her squeak of surprise, and instead begin oiling up the engine of the car. Natasha flushes a dark red. Your grasp had been calloused, because of course it would be, experienced with handling cars and being rough—

The electricity that had run through her veins from that second of contact was comparable to Thor’s Mjolnir.

You have a little mishap when pouring the oil, the tube sliding in your grasp, and the car oil squirts from the nozzle and onto your front. You chuckle awkwardly, embarrassment tinging the tips of your ears.

Natasha thinks it’s the sweetest sound she’s ever heard, heart fluttering at your awkwardness. Once again, her libido catches up to her, and then Natasha’s eyeing your slick fingers (imagining it was a different type of slick), and the way your dampened shirt clung to your taut muscles.

Maybe you were doing it on purpose, too, facing Natasha as you lift up the hem of your shirt to squeeze out the oil. Her eyes feast on the hint of bare skin she can see, a defined V-line making itself known.

“You don’t mind me working like this, I suppose?” you ask, a grin on your face. “I may look filthy, but I promise I’m excellent with my hands.”

“Show me, then,” Natasha replies loftily, almost second-nature with how the one-sided smirk creeps on to her face. Her skill of seduction was something that was ingrained into her bloodstream.

When you lay down onto the under-car roller and shift underneath the car to begin fixing it up, Natasha’s gaze darkens several hues and she lets her eyes roam over your body again.

She couldn’t tear her eyes off if she tried. She wanted to rake her nails over your taut muscles, watch them flex and ripple under her touch, hook her fingers in the belt-loop of your pants and tug it down—

—to see the unmistakable bulge on a strap-on in your boxers. Natasha licks her lips, zeroing in on the tantalizing sight. It looked big, even while hidden under the confines of your pants. She would take you so good, down her throat or up her cunt, until either of you orgasmed.

Natasha gets lost in her thoughts, nearly drooling as she watched you work. Your tank top moved with every thrust of your arm into unscrewing a certain mechanical part, and the grease slid down the veins of your hands.

The redhead has to sink her teeth into her bottom lip when you spread your legs for a more comfortable position, to stop herself from moaning out load.

Natasha’s got it down bad, eyes once again on your bulge. Her panties are soaked, already, lewd thoughts flitting through her mind with every passing minute that you’re under there.

On the other hand, you were fighting a very different battle.

You weren’t stupid, no, not on any accounts. (Except for dating that one girlfriend who’d lit your auto-repair shop on fire when you broke up with her. But we don’t talk about past mistakes.) Right now, the woman you were attending to was none other than Natasha Romanoff.

Yes, the woman who had saved the universe. The woman who’d inspired you to say ‘fuck everyone else’ and chase your dreams. The woman on TV you’d spent more than a few nights thinking of, your hand in places you’d rather not specify.

More than that, you were quite sure that this woman, in a ripped dress that fucked your mind in ways it shouldn’t, wanted you to fuck her instead.

It was an uphill battle, your rationality versus your pathetic pretty-girl-want-to-fuck instinct. As you lay under Natasha’s car, working on the mechanical parts up there and getting grease all over your hands, you contemplated the reasons why logic was important.

Number One: Natasha Romanoff was an Avenger. If you pushed yourself onto her, she could very much knock you out before you could say ‘sorry’. As much as you prided yourself on your physique and brute force, you weren’t about to take on an ex-widow in a fight.

You look down for one second, as said woman steps a little closer to you, and you have to swallow to bite back an embarrassing sound. One of her hands was resting on your knee while you worked, and it took every cell of your existence not to start spasming under her touch.

Number Two: It was a violation of workplace guidelines. As much as the pay was shitty, you wouldn’t want to lose your job. You still had rent to pay, and you couldn’t keep hiding from your stick-in-the-ass landlord.

“Oh, that looks dirty,” Natasha comments, tone sultry as her hand creeps up higher on your leg. Your breath catches in your throat, grease staining your white shirt while your eyes quite nearly glaze over.

I can show you dirty, your brain unhelpfully supplies, and you shake your head in a futile attempt to clear your head.

Natasha, undetered, leans forward, chest grazing over your torso, the soft flesh of her breasts against your abdomen making your head spin.

Fuck, you just wanted to rip off her pretty dress and— Number Three: You were in public. Having sexual intercourse with your client right here and right now would likely end in a police report for vouyerism. Dingy apartment be gone, for you would be sleeping in a jail cell.

“M’kay, I’m done,” you announce, slapping the underside of the car as a sign of accomplishment. You purposefully slide out from under the car in one swift motion, allowing Natasha’s hand to graze over your muscled thigh.

Nothing could have prepared you for the sight that greeted you when you looked up, though.

There Natasha Romanoff leant over your body, one hand inches away from the bulge in your pants, the other tucking a lock of hair behind her ear. She was leaning forward, exposing a cleavage that hung right above your torso, dark eyes surveying you.

Fuck, dark couldn’t even begin to describe it. Natasha’s gaze was like an icy blast and molten lava all at the same time: Her pupils were severely dilated, a spark dancing within it. The deep colours of her eyes were like a kaleidoscope, pulling you in, entrapping you in a haze of lust.

It was entirely wanton, arousing, filthy. Her ruby-red lips curved into a vulture-like smirk, gaze trailing downwards to your body. Everywhere her eyes rested on lit a path of hellfire. Those sinful hands crept on to your bulge, splaying over your false cock as you exhale shakily.

Number Four: Natasha Romanoff was looking at you like you were a full banquet service, all five courses, free of charge, complimentary champagne included.

And honestly, was there really anything more important than that?

“Thanks for your help,” Natasha murmmurs, physically climbing onto you as you laid on the under-car roller. “Let me repay that kindness.”

You let out a strangled groan as Natasha pushes herself down onto you and kisses you, her hands sliding under your shirt to scrape at your abdomen.

Oh, finally.

“Fuck,” you gasp against her eager lips, hands flying to palm at her ass as you deepen the kiss. Your brain hasn’t quite caught up to yet, the only you were registering being the sweet mouth you were exploring and the intoxicating flowery scent of Natasha’s perfume.

Your hand cinches around Natasha’s neck like a vice-grip, your tongue invading the confines of her mouth, the rocking motions of your meeting mouths drawing long gasps and whines from Natasha.

Her hands, on the contrary, are relentless: From the sides of your face to your washboard abdomen, sharp nails marking you as if you’re hers.

Having relinquished your power for long enough, you grab handfuls of Natasha’s ass and lift her up; You get up, too, a mess of entangled limbs as you throw her over your shoulder, kicking away the roller and moving to the bed of your pickup truck.

Natasha’s left dripping at your display of effortless strength. You hoist the two of you up onto the pickup truck, paradoxically carefully laying her down, and you stall for a moment.

“We’re so gonna get caught,” Natasha whispers with a stupid grin on her face.

She looks up at you with a breathtaking smile, twilight reflecting off her eyes, dancing in the atmosphere that surrounded the two of you.

The pair of you were completely exposed to the midnight air, in the middle of nowhere, but if anyone were to drive past it would be blatantly obvious what was happening.

You smirk, tugging her dress off with an assured confidence. “Maybe,” you reason, thumbing at one of Natasha’s nipples so she arches off the surface with a breathy gasp. “Or maybe not,” you continue, a big hand sliding under Natasha’s lithe body to undo the clasp of her bra and toss it somewhere.

“Y/N!” Natasha squeaks, as your greedy hands massage the mounds of her breasts. “Did you throw my bra onto the road?”

You hum your approval cheekily, leaving a trail of open-mouthed kisses from the swell of her breasts and down to her soiled. “Yes, angel. I’ll pick it up later, bring it home with me to jerk off–”

“Oh my god—”

“Yeah, and I’ll— oh fuck, angel, your panties are fucking soaked. Not so innocent, hm?” You question with a dark smile, two fingers running over the outside of her undergarment, arousal sticking to your fingers.

You watch as the older woman before you flushes from head to toe. Strings of slick cling to your thick fingers, and you suck on them as Natasha moans lewdly.

“I’ll let you taste it later, don’t worry,” you add helpfully, shucking down your own pants and boxers. The strap-on springs out, and Natasha’s drooly lips open to push out a shaky breath of arousal.

“Daddy,” Natasha says, instinctually, at the sight of your gloried muscles and the ivory strap that hung between your legs like it was made to do so.

Your grip on Natasha’s hips bruise, the term nothing new to you but so entirely different when it came from Natasha fucking Romanoff. The sense of pride that washed over you was nothing compared to the carnal desire to fill her up and make her scream your name.

“Oh God!” Natasha wails out, fingernails digging into your forearms as you slide the head of your cock inside her. It wasn’t the longest, but it was girthy, and Natasha’s hole was stretched out as you pushed slowly.

“Not God,” you pant into Natasha’s ear, slapping her ass as she cries out loud. “Daddy, hm?”

“Yes!” Natasha moans, legs wrapping around your huge muscled back as you begin to thrust. Her hands try to interlock behind your back for support, but your shoulderblades are so wide that she can’t even fully wrap her hands around it, and that fact leaves her even hornier than before.

You’ve got Natahsa pinned to the ground under your body, pounding so hard that the whole truck shakes. The grease from your clothes goes all over, slick and sweat coating the two of you, pleasured cries and low grunts emanating from the pickup truck.

The squelching sounds of her pussy are absolutely filthy, as you pound into her spongy spot like your life depended on it.

“There, please!” Natasha wails, helplessly clinging on to your back as you bring her to a ferocious orgasm. Her legs kick under you, hook around the side of the truck as you jackhammer your hips into her pussy.

“Almost there already, angel?” You ask heatedly, mouth working on marking up her tits. One of your hands had both of Natasha’s wrist above her head, and the other was on her hips for support as you thrusted into her.

Your response comes in an earth-shattering orgasm.

“Daddy!” Natasha moans out, filthy and drenched with desire. Her pleasured cry is so loud that it scares a flock of birds out of a nearby tree, and you flinch violently at the sudden sound of nature’s rustling leaves, like you forgot you were in public.

Natasha breaks out into a laugh at the absurdity of the situation, then moans again when another wave of orgasmic pleasure washes over her. That causes you to join in on the laughter, your cock jostling inside Natasha. She whines again, and you pepper kisses over Natasha’s sweaty forehead with nothing short of amused affection.

And that’s how the two of you end up entangled on the back of your pickup truck like lovesick fools, a mesh of sweaty and slick bodies, sounds of pleasure and laughter scaring away any other creature that might disrupt Natasha’s sought-after comfort and satisfaction.

requests are NOT open... i just received this request all the way back in february, and so here it is haha..... im sorry to that one anon 😭 reblog to save a life xx

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nasa · 6 months

Text

What’s It Like to Work in NASA’s Mission Control Center?

In the latest installment of our First Woman graphic novel series, we see Commander Callie Rodriguez embark on the next phase of her trailblazing journey, as she leaves the Moon to take the helm at Mission Control.

Flight directors work in Mission Control to oversee operations of the International Space Station and Artemis missions to the Moon. They have a unique, overarching perspective focused on integration between all the systems that make a mission a success – flight directors have to learn a little about a lot.

Diane Dailey and Chloe Mehring were selected as flight directors in 2021. They’ll be taking your questions about what it’s like to lead teams of flight controllers, engineers, and countless professionals, both agencywide and internationally, in an Answer Time session on Nov. 28, 2023, from noon to 1 p.m. EST (9-10 a.m. PST) here on our Tumblr!

Like Callie, how did their unique backgrounds and previous experience, prepare them for this role? What are they excited about as we return to the Moon?

🚨 Ask your questions now by visiting https://nasa.tumblr.com/ask.

Diane Dailey started her career at NASA in 2006 in the space station Environmental Control and Life Support Systems (ECLSS) group. As an ECLSS flight controller, she logged more than 1,700 hours of console time, supported 10 space shuttle missions, and led the ECLSS team. She transitioned to the Integration and System Engineering (ISE) group, where she was the lead flight controller for the 10th and 21st Commercial Resupply Services missions for SpaceX. In addition, she was the ISE lead for NASA’s SpaceX Demo-1 and Demo-2 crew spacecraft test flights. Dailey was also a capsule communicator (Capcom) controller and instructor.

She was selected as a flight director in 2021 and chose her call sign of “Horizon Flight” during her first shift in November of that year. She has since served as the Lead Flight director for the ISS Expedition 68, led the development of a contingency spacewalk, and led a spacewalk in June to install a new solar array on the space station. She is currently working on development of the upcoming Artemis II mission and the Human Lander Systems which will return humanity to the moon. Dailey was raised in Lubbock, Texas, and graduated from Texas A&M University in College Station with a bachelor’s degree in biomedical engineering. She is married and a mother of two. She enjoys cooking, traveling, and spending time outdoors.

Chloe Mehring started her NASA career in 2008 in the Flight Operations’ propulsion systems group and supported 11 space shuttle missions. She served as propulsion support officer for Exploration Flight Test-1, the first test flight of the Orion spacecraft that will be used for Artemis missions to the Moon. Mehring was also a lead NASA propulsion officer for SpaceX’s Crew Dragon spacecraft and served as backup lead for the Boeing Starliner spacecraft. She was accepted into the 2021 Flight Director class and worked her first shift in February 2022, taking on the call sign “Lion Flight”. Since becoming certified, she has worked over 100 shifts, lead the NG-17 cargo resupply mission team, and executed two United States spacewalks within 10 days of each other. She became certified as a Boeing Starliner Flight Director, sat console for the unmanned test flight in May 2022 (OFT-2) and will be leading the undock team for the first crewed mission on Starliner in the spring of next year. She originally is from Mifflinville, Pennsylvania, and graduated with a bachelor’s degree in aerospace engineering from The Pennsylvania State University in State College. She is a wife, a mom to one boy, and she enjoys fitness, cooking and gardening.

#answertime #NASA #flight director #First Woman #astronaut #Artemis #Orion #graphic novels #comics #spaceblr #women in STEM #STEM #NASA women #CallieFirst

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h4m1lt0ns · 8 months

Text

HEARTBREAK SYNDROME.

episode seven :: OBSESSED.

꒰꒰◌‧₊ ⬪˙⋆ pairing ︴max verstappen x ex!y/n

꒰꒰◌‧₊ ⬪˙⋆ genre ︴social media au / irl snippets

꒰꒰◌‧₊ ⬪˙⋆ summary ﹔y/n’s fans are obsessed with heartbreak syndrome, and so is the entire grid. the entire grid.

fc – wonyoung jang (28)

꒰꒰◌‧₊ ⬪˙⋆ warnings ﹕i misspelled ‘hear’ for ‘heart’ in a tweet, sad music, shady behaviour, short one :( none.

y/n

♡ liked by theweeknd, lewishamilton and 10,482,583 others.

y/n beyond grateful 🥹🤍 truly can’t begin to express how thankful i am for you guys, thank u thank u thank u from the bottom of my heart for the support that you’ve shown for the album 🫂💐 it means a lot more than u will genuinely ever know and i’m so happy i get to celebrate highs this high with u !! once again, thank u for letting me share this part of my life with you and thank u for enjoying the sad bullshit i sang abt 💌 i love you. forever. this is ours. grateful for u, always my loves ⭐️🫧❣️

2,492,123 comments.

theweeknd deserved. truly 🖤

➜ y/n thank u for being a part of this 🖤

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➜ y/n I LOVE U GUYS

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pierregasly #1 FAN SINCE DAY ONE 🗣

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➜ y/n I LOVE YOU MORE

honeymoon 💋

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lewishamilton congrats to the stargirl 🥳🖤

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➜ y/n the real star is YOU sir lew 🙏

alexandrasaintmleux MY GIRL MY GIRL MY GIRL 🫶🏼

➜ y/n ALL YOURS BABY ALEXANDRA 😩

senastianvettel beautiful music, beautiful soul ❤️ congratulations y/n! i miss you a lot :)

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lewishamilton #1 cinnamon girl fan 😮‍💨

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username SEBASTIAN IS ON Y/N’S SIDE?? OH M4X FUCKED UUUUPPP.

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jensonbutton love love love the album 💕

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☆ IMESSAGE with ; BOARD OF DIRECTORS.

y/n: screaming vomiting crying rolling on the floor sliding against the walls scraping my knees snot bubbles in my nose literally can’t breathe

princess george: …

princess george: should i even ask 😐

chili!: j button called her a cutie and said he loved her album

chal eclair: she’s been freaking out abt it for the past half hour

my baby lando: shit i’d freak out too

alabono: bae he’s just a man ???

honey badger: ^^^^

y/n: NO HE’S NOT 😡

y/n: HE’S JENSON BUTTON 😩🤭

PIERRE GASLYYYY: she didn’t react like this when i told her i like her album 🤨

girlfriend kika: tbf ur not jenson button

babygirl alex: okay but she’s so real for that

chal eclair: ¿¿¿¿

chal eclair: since when-

chal eclair: okay.

yukino: i didn’t know y/n had a crush on jenson until her fans exposed her 😭

honey badger: LMFAO

honey badger: I WAS CACKLING I KNEW SHE WANTED TO DIE

y/n: wooOOOW

y/n: let’s laugh at y/n’s pain huh

wifey lily: well he called you cute

y/n: yeah 😍

angel carmen: all of you shut up

angel carmen: y/n.

y/n: yes ma’am 🫡

angel carmen: heartbreak syndrome tour when.

y/n: heheheheheheh

alabono: !!!!?!?!?!?????!?!!

chili!: HEHEHE????

babygirl alex: MISS GIRL.

girlfriend kika: don’t play w me rn

girlfriend kika: i’m already over sensitive from overplaying the heart wants what it wants

my baby lando: so so so real

y/n: something else is coming before tour 🤭

honey badger: spill w the quickness 🙏🏻

princess george: immediately

yukino: Y/N??????

my baby lando: MUM SAY SOMETHING

chili!: BITCH I SWEAR TO GOD

chal eclair: YOU CANT JUST DROP THAT INFORMATION AND DIP

wifey lily: PICK UP THE PHONE Y/NNNNN

chal eclair: LMFAO

chal eclair: carlos is chasing her with scissors threatening to make her bald if she doesn’t say anything 😭😭😭��

my baby lando: LMFAOOOOO

princess george: 💀💀💀

alabono: cRYING

angel carmen: wait u traitors

angel carmen: you guys are together???

my baby lando: now wait fr.

chal eclair: uhm.

PIERRE GASLYYYY: charles answer the question 😁🔪

chal eclair: bye my pasta is burning

honey badger: cUNT COME BACK HERE

kellypiquet added to their story!

#f1 x y/n #f1 fanfiction #f1 smau #f1 x reader #f1 x you #carlos sainz x reader #charles leclerc x reader #lando norris x reader #daniel ricciardo x reader #lewis hamilton x reader #george russell x reader #yuki tsunoda x reader #pierre gasly x reader #alex albon x reader #max verstappen x reader

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gatheringbones · 1 year

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[“I told my mother I thought I might be trans in a lengthy and overly apologetic email, which she didn’t quite know how to respond to. From her perspective, my transition had popped up out of nowhere, with no prior warning signs. She was convinced I had been brainwashed into transitioning, and agreed to meet my counsellor for a joint meeting with me, primarily to meet the person she felt had brainwashed her child into transitioning.

My mother describes her first meeting with me presenting as Laura as very difficult for her, due in no small part to her inability to see me as anything but her very traditionally masculine son in a dress. For a while she knew but did not talk to my father, which she found very difficult. She told me years later that she went through a period of mourning, feeling like her child had died, and that she was left with a stranger she did not know. It put a lot of strain on her, and on our relationship as parent and child.

Why the assumption I was brainwashed? Because of autism infantilisation.

Before we talk more about my journey coming out as transgender, we have to rewind a little bit to something else that went on at around the same point in my life: my diagnosis of Asperger’s. By the time my mother attended that appointment and met me as Laura for the first time, I had already been diagnosed with Asperger’s, which was part of the reason she was so worried about me. She was not aware of any statistical link between autism and gender dysphoria, and in her eyes I was a vulnerable young person with an autism spectrum condition who was being manipulated into transition because I was easily swayed, or lacking in ability to assess my feelings on the matter properly for myself. This is depressingly common: an adult’s assumption that having an autism spectrum condition means you’re incapable of proper self-understanding, or that you’re susceptible to being manipulated into believing things about yourself that you did not previously. You’re not trusted as being of sound mind to make choices about your own life, out of fear you’ve been manipulated.

Speaking to my mother years later, now she has somewhat settled down and got used to me going by Laura and female pronouns, she told me that her biggest fear, and the primary reason she agreed to attend that first joint session together, was that, as a youth with Asperger’s, my therapist was influencing me into believing that I was trans. She feared it was some kind of brainwashing that my gullible mind could not resist the allure of, rather than believing my own account of what I was experiencing.

I also faced this same issue with doctors when trying to access medical support through the NHS. I would have general practitioners, mental health doctors and gender specialists alike raise an eyebrow when I acknowledged my Asperger’s diagnosis, and then proceed to take plenty of extra time asking me lengthy questions about how my autism symptoms manifested, to ensure I was of sound enough mind to make permanent choices about my body. Apart from the obvious infantilisation of people with conditions like Asperger’s on display there, I always just explained it as being like the decision to get a tattoo. I am an adult, over the age of 18, who has been deemed sober and mentally sound, and as such I have every right to permanently inject colours into my skin that may never go away. Why should I not be trusted to take slow-acting meds that are somewhat easier to reverse? Still, the fact I had to fight to be believed that I was mentally sound enough to make that choice says a lot about misunderstandings about autism spectrum conditions, but highlights that to assert that transition is unique in the permanent nature of its change to the body is completely inaccurate.”]

laura kate dale, from uncomfortable labels: my life as a gay autistic trans woman

#laura kate dale #lesbian literature #trans literature #currently reading #gender stuff

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campwillowpeak · 5 days

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Welp :)

TW: Transphobia

As you all know, our lovely VA for Harper, @luna-mayham came out as trans recently

And unfortunately, despite being LGB- I guess not fucking T, their mother didn't take it very well... About two days after Luna came out to her, her mothers told us we had until Oct to find a new place to live

Already pretty fucked, but the more Luna tries to transition and find her new identity, the more tensions have been souring, until it came to a head this morning where we've been told we now have two weeks... Because we got up at 11.02 instead of 11 :) (Lets be real we all know the real reason)

As such our lovely coder, @queenlilithprime and I will be holding an asset stream sometime here in the near future to help raise funds to get a place, so Luna will be able to continue her journey without all that BS

In the meantime if you want to help, there's the patreon and Ko-fi, or you could send @luna-mayham some much deserved love as she could really use it right now

Ko-Fi / Patreon

❤ Much love and thank you all for being such a wonderful community ❤

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magnetothemagnificent · 2 years

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I feel like cis people would be able to understand trans people more if they, and all of us, understood that "baby", "girl", "boy", "woman", "man", "mother", "father", "wife", "husband", etc are all different genders.

A child has wildly different experiences and roles than an adult. A parent has wildly different experiences and roles than a non-parent.

A child is gendered differently than an adult, and vice versa.

People will struggle so hard to understand how a person can transition into a man or a woman if they grew up as a girl or a boy, respectively, but....

Gender isn't static, even for cis people.

A cisgendered girl also transitions into the gender of a woman. A cisgendered boy also transitions into the gender of a man. A non-parent transitions into the gender of a parent.

Yes, for transgender people, the transition is often more complex and "shocking", but everyone transitions into different genders throughout the course of their life.

And people have always understood this. In many cultures around the world, male and female children would be dressed and addressed in roughly the same way, without much binary differentiation, until they reached a certain "coming-of-age" point, where they would reach a new gender.

Just yesterday I was at a Chalaka/Upshernish ceremony for a little boy in a family I know. This ceremony is practiced in some Jewish communities, where a boy's hair isn't cut until his third birthday, when his hair his cut and his peyot are left intact, signifying his next step in his life's journey, and the begining of his education. You'll find in these communities that little toddler boys and girls look very similar until they're three, and often they're mixed up by outsiders because they associate long hair with girls. In many ways, this ceremony is a ceremony wherein a Jewish boy transitions from the gender of a "baby", to the gender of a "boy".

Coming-of-age ceremonies exist in pretty much every culture, and mark important transitions and new gender assignments.

The transition from infanthood to childhood, the transition from childhood to adulthood, the transition from singlehood to marriage, etc etc. These are all different genders.

If you can understand that a girl is different from a woman, and that to become a woman you must transition from one stage to another, then you can understand that one can transition from one "opposite" gender to another.

#trans #anthropology #gender #culture #coming of age #transition #everyone transitions at some point

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lfghughes · 10 months

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more dad!trevor, maybe trevor’s family meeting their baby? trevor’s mom starts to cry bc her son is all grown up and has a family of his own, trev crying bc of seeing his baby and his siblings teasing him lmao

a/n: all of these meeting the baby requests have given me such baby fever

You wished you could freeze this moment of the three of you together. Your baby girl was in your arms and Trevor was half way on the hospital bed looking down at her like she was his whole world. Which wouldn’t be far from the truth. His hand went to the back of your daughters little head “I can’t believe that we made a whole baby. A little human.” His voice was low, trying his best to not disturb his sleeping baby.

A knock on the door let you know that you three had some visitors and if you were right it was going to be Trevors family meeting the baby for the first time. “Your grandmas here little pumpkin.” Trevor got up from the bed and went over to the door, letting everyone into the room before making his way back to the bed. You knew that at least for a couple of weeks that he wouldn’t be that far from your daughter.

Immediately his mom brought her hand to her mouth as she watched her son pick up her grandbaby “My baby boy is a dad.” Your heart got tight as you saw the tears fall from your mother in laws eyes, these hormones were no joke but also you could just feel all the emotion in the room. “Here mom, come hold her.” He held the baby out so she could take a hold of her. “No way are you guys parents especially you Trevor.” Trevors brother told him and a laugh fell from your lips.

It was definitely surreal thinking that you were both leaving this hospital with a baby and you were going to be responsible for this human for the rest of your lives. Trevors mom sat down on one of the chairs, Trevor sitting on the arm of it as he looked down at his mom holding his daughter. “I’m so proud of you both.” She told you both and you caught Trevor swiping at his eye. You were definitely not the only emotional one in the room.

The rest of the visit was a lot of passing the baby around, Trevors siblings still teasing him about being a dad, and plenty of more tears. Once they left it was just the three of you again, your small little family. This was just the beginning of a big adventure. You were definitely ready to get home and start on this journey but you still had the whole night to go. Luckily, everything had run smoothly the entire night and the next day you were all cleared to leave and go home.

You were nervous of course but for the next week or so Trevors mom was sticking around to help with the whole transition. The minute the three of you had walked into the house not only was it noticeable that someone had cleaned everything but you were immediately greeted by your mother in law. “Let me hold my grandbaby, I’ve been waiting all night to get some loving on this baby."

#trevor zegras #trevor zegras x reader #trevor zegras blurb #trevor zegras imagine

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reasonsforhope · 10 months

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"While mainstream media increasingly cover violence and legislative attacks against trans people, many scholars and activists worry that focusing just on violence and discrimination fails to capture the full experience of being trans.

Drawing on the success of movements like the Black Joy Project, which uses art to promote Black healing and community-building, trans activists are challenging one-dimensional depictions of their community by highlighting the unique joys of being transgender.

My research on trans parents affirms the reality of trans joy. From 2019 to 2021, I interviewed 54 transgender women — both current and prospective parents — from diverse racial and class backgrounds across the country.

I found that while many have navigated discrimination in their parenting journeys, they also have fulfilling parent-child relationships, often with the support of partners, families of origin and their communities.

Gender euphoria

Scholars and community members use the term gender euphoria to describe a “joyful feeling of rightness in one’s gender/sex.”

It diverges from the diagnosis of gender dysphoria, or a sense of conflict between assigned sex and gender identity typically associated with feelings of distress and discomfort.

Gender euphoria celebrates feeling comfortable with who you are and how you are perceived by the world.

Some people transition with a specific set of goals, while others discover new sources of joy and new facets of their identity over time.

Many of the trans women I interviewed expressed their gender euphoria in relation to their role as mothers. A Black trans woman in her 20s, whom I will call Gloria, experiences joy in being recognized as a mother.

“I love being called Mom. That’s the greatest thing,” she told me. “I love waking up every morning to see [my child’s] beautiful face. It keeps me motivated.” ...

For many trans people, transitioning opens up a new set of possibilities. When I asked Adriana, a trans Latina in her 30s, what it was like to come out as trans, she told me,

“I’ve never been happier. The happiest day of my life was when my daughter was born, and the second happiest day of my life was when I [started transitioning].”

Family and community connections

While some trans people do experience rejection from their families of origin, that is not true for the majority of the community.

In a 2015 national survey of over 27,700 trans adults, the U.S. Trans Survey, 60% of respondents reported having families who are supportive of their trans identity.

Trans women also form chosen families with friends, co-workers and other community members. Relationships with other trans people can have particularly positive effects on identity development and overall well-being, including emotional resilience, self-acceptance and a sense of connection.

Trans community care

In addition to caring for their biological and adopted children, the trans women I interviewed felt a responsibility to take care of their community.

Sometimes this care manifested as parent-child relationships, in which respondents provide financial or emotional support to LGBTQ+ youth.

Maggie, a white woman in her 50s, didn’t know she was a parental figure for her “queer kids” until they tagged her on Instagram to celebrate Mother’s Day.

“Someone might go, ‘Hey, can I stay on your sofa tonight? I’m having a hard time.’ Well, yeah, of course,” she said.

“Or they might hang around the shop [I work at], and only later it dawns on me, ‘Oh, this was the only place they could come and get affirmed and not feel weird.’” ...

Miriam, a white trans woman in her 60s, agreed that she has a lot to learn from younger trans people.

“A lot of my community today, people who I count as family and my beloveds, are not of my generation,” she said. ‘Beloveds’ is the term she uses to describe her platonic loved ones.

“I learn a lot from my beloveds in their 20s and 30s, who don’t have the same baggage I [dealt with] about how I could be and who I could be.”"

-via GoodGoodGood via The Conversation, July 14, 2023

#trans #transgender #transphobia #transmisogyny #lgbtq youth #queer elders #trans women #transfeminine #trans is beautiful #trans pride #gender dysphoria #gender euphoria #chosen family #good news #hope #hope posting #trans joy

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solarianastrology · 1 year

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RANDOM ASTRO ABSERVATIONS!!!

DISCLAIMER: These may or may not apply to you. These observations are from my personal experiences with these placements and energies. Nothing in astrology is the end all be all. The birth chart is simply the possibilities, but you determine the way in which the possibilities go. You are always in control!

Virgo Venus natives hate not feeling appreciated. There's a lot of thought and detail put into the actions they do for others, and it always tends to be something practical like something they notice you need that'll help with a project or something beneficial for daily usage. However, the minute you don't show you appreciate these acts, all that care goes right out the window. Moon in 8H synastry if undeveloped can be very toxic and manipulative. Some cases, the moon will feel the need to mother or take care of the house person. >If undeveloped<, the house person will see this as weakness and abuse the resources of the moon. In other words, you can make some ridiculous financial decisions all because you feel connected to them emotionally, especially if you're not used to Plutonic energy. This synastry could leave you broke or in debt if you haven't learned yourself truly. Libra, you are not seeking balance, you are not trying to find balance, balance isn't this unattainable thing, YOU ARE BALANCE. You're the scales! You were born balanced, now if you don't feel balanced, find out where you're having an imbalance and fix it. One thing about Capricorns, they gone get them some money$$$. Gemini risings with Scorpio moons can have very toxic mothers who probably suffers with mental health issues. They could have also made them clean the house more that needed as punishment. Scorpio risings with Libra Venus are such hopeless romantics and get so attached once in love, they are the definition of wanting to live in their partner's skin. If they break up, they'll continue to romanticize them and may even try to get back with them again. If you're looking for the traditional romance relationship where you're constantly reminded of their affection for you, constant thoughtful gifts, and kisses 25/8 do not go for an Aquarius Venus. It's like they purposefully go against anything too normalized and typical in love but love in a more intellectual language. Don't even bother trying to change them either, they'll just ignore you. (They are still very loving and loyal once committed). Lilith in the 7th house can make you very powerful in relationships and they are all aware of that power. Also, once a Lilith 7H native realizes they are being manipulated, played with, or cheated on the Lilith shadow comes out and you'll never get the same them again. Mercury in 12H synastry undeveloped will have you lying for no reason at all, have you feeling all exposed mentally. PLEASE DON'T WRONG SATURNIANS, YOU GET INSTANT KARMA. I find I get my hair done the most when the Venus is transiting my 1H. Chiron conjunct Mercury, especially in the 3H could have had a very challenging school life. They could have fought with teachers, gotten retained, failed classes, and it truly affected their mental esteem. They are learners by experience and thrive learning independently, though they could attract very wise people to help them along their journey. You are literal geniuses and never let anyone tell you're not. Libra 3H write beautiful poetry. Your Moon sign can represent your Sun sign in your past life. It's who you are, anyway, the actions you portray with no effort, where you feel most comfortable. It's the energy you're used to. You can learn a lot from a person you have 9th house synastry with, true wisdom.

#astro observations #astro notes #astro placements #astro posts #astro community

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obsidian-pages777 · 1 month

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Persophone in your Astrology chart

Persephone, the beloved daughter of Demeter in Greek mythology, holds significance in the Eleusinian Mysteries, symbolizing themes of life, death, and rebirth. Known as Kore or Proserpina, she embodies both youthful fertility and mature sovereignty as Queen of the Underworld. In astrology, the asteroid Persephone reflects themes of agency and choice. An uninitiated Persephone is passive, allowing others to dictate her relationships and decisions, often deferring to external authority figures like her mother Demeter.

Persephone's influence in your astrology chart is shaped by its placement in different houses and signs, along with its interactions with other planets through aspects. Here's a brief overview of Persephone's potential impact:

Persephone in the 1st House or Aries: You possess a captivating charm that can positively influence others. Embrace your independence and assertiveness in choosing partners, refusing to be controlled by parental figures, even in challenging situations.

Persephone in the 2nd House or Taurus: You seek sensual pleasures and financial stability in relationships. However, true fulfillment requires genuine emotional connection, as merely material security may leave you feeling unfulfilled.

Persephone in the 3rd House or Gemini: You are naturally inquisitive and social, but may struggle to assert yourself verbally, especially within family dynamics. Finding your voice is crucial for expressing your needs and experiences. Your communication skills can be valuable in guiding others through their own inner journeys.

Persephone in the 4th House or Cancer: Family ties may be deeply significant to you, potentially leading to a sense of entanglement with maternal figures. However, breaking free from familial influences is essential for personal growth and self-discovery, even if it feels challenging.

5. Persephone's placement in the fifth house or Leo suggests a passionate nature, craving romance and artistic expression. You may exude a youthful energy throughout life, but there could be challenges in balancing personal desires with parental responsibilities, potentially impacting your children's growth. Embrace the evolving phases of your life, transitioning from youthful exuberance to a more mature and enthusiastic approach to living, inspiring others to share the spotlight with you.

6. In the sixth house or Virgo, Persephone's influence is tied to diet and health, with a need to establish individual lifestyle choices for optimal well-being. This placement may reflect struggles stemming from maternal nurturing or using food for emotional comfort. Despite an aversion to conventional work, you may excel in creative, spiritual, or psychological endeavors, finding renewal through unique approaches to your craft.

7. In the seventh house or Libra, there's a potential tendency to allow others to shape your identity, leading to passive compliance in relationships. However, embracing equality and individuality within partnerships can awaken a deeper sense of engagement and passion.

8. Persephone in the eighth house or Scorpio may signify past trauma or abuse affecting sexual awakening and transformation. Healing and self-awareness are key to reclaiming personal power and achieving profound life changes.

9. In the ninth house or Sagittarius, Persephone seeks freedom and truth, facing challenges that prompt a shift from denial to a realistic outlook on life. As you seek meaning and wisdom, you may become a bearer of insight and positivity, offering a broader perspective on life's journey.

10. Persephone in the 10th house or Capricorn may struggle with setting personal goals and asserting her desires, often overshadowed by others' expectations. With maturity, she gains clarity about her career path, finding courage to pursue her ambitions later in life, which brings a sense of renewal and growth. Solitude during darker times can provide rejuvenation.

11. Persephone in the 11th house or Aquarius exudes glamour and may attract public attention, yet she might not initially recognize or desire this. During adolescence, she must carve out her unique identity, distinct from external influences. This placement fosters intuition and intelligence, leading to a renewed sense of self-awareness and originality.

12. Persephone in the 12th house or Pisces is a dreamer, sensitive and introverted. She finds solace in nature, possibly exhibiting psychic abilities or a deep connection with the environment. However, excessive spaciness can lead to difficulties, requiring cultivation of inner strengths to harness her intuitive receptivity without becoming overwhelmed or victimized.

Examples:

Marilyn Monroe's Persephone in Cancer reflects her complex relationship with her mentally ill mother, seeking love and validation from romantic partners.

Frida Kahlo's Persephone in Capricorn, heavily influenced by Mars and Uranus, suggests her life-changing accident and the overshadowing presence of her husband Diego Rivera, yet her inner strength persists despite external challenges.

Oprah Winfrey had her Persephone in Libra in her 9th house.

#persephone #greek gods #astrology #asteroid astrology #astro chart #asteroid in love #zodiac #astrology readings #astro community

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ardienothesieno · 1 month

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SPECULATING ABOUT THE WATCHER

Wanted to make my own analysis post, as I've seen some comments on other sites pointing out things but nothing here so far... AND I AM TOO DEEP IN THE BRAINROT TO NOT ANALYZE THIS EVEN JUST A LITTLE BIT. SO.

I would like to mention that I have not played any modded regions! So if there are certain details that I make note of in the screenshots that have explanation in their original mods, please feel free to correct me!!

STARTING OFF WITH THE TRAILER:

youtube

Rot tendrils. Rot tendrils on the ceiling... just casually... that's totally not concerning...

The blue lizard only has two toes on each foot!

The background of this first shot looks like it might be on an iterator structure? There are some support beams but other then that it's just clouds.

The spears that the scavenger is carrying are kind of weird... for one, they're white. And one of them has a large, almost pinecone-shaped tip.

Also they have a crack in their face/mask.

what the pole plant doin

The Watcher doesn't seem to have a nose? That's probably just an art style thing, but I thought I'd mention it. Also their eyes are glowing.

Even the title font has implications. whoa.

For one, more rot. The rot has now made a double appearance and that probably guarantees its significance here...

And plants... Leaves and some vines.

The way that the black screen transitions to a white one is very rot-esce to me. Rot triple appearance...

There seems to be some graffiti on the right side of the final shot? It's obstructed by the visual effects in the foreground, however.

Once again Watcher is depicted without a nose BUT THAT'S NOT IMPORTANT BECAUSE THIS SCREEN HAS IMPLICATIONS

Watcher is floating. Normally I'd mark this off as "cool title screen choice" but they're also surrounded by ECHO PARTICLES.

And the warping around the Watcher and the title? THE OUTMOST RIPPLES HAVE GOLD VEINS RUNNING THROUGH THEM. THE VOID IMPLICATIONS...

And this might be a stretch but the palette of this final image is black and gold... void colors...

OKAY THATS MOST OF THE TRAILER

ONTO THE STEAM DESCRIPTION:

Rain World: The Watcher is a DLC expansion of Rain World. Journey beyond to something, somewhere only ever glimpsed. When the world beneath your feet cracks and crumbles, will you hold on to all you once knew? Or dive into the unknown? The wilds that await will be unlike all that's come before. Unknown creatures stalk and climb and dive and hunt. New breeds rip and pluck and burrow and hide. Predator and prey redefined. And through the middle of it all, a lonely lost slugcat trying their best to outlast the ravages of a warped world.

Do... do I even have to say anything?

THE VOID IMPLICATIONS!! HOLY MOTHER OF SCUGS THE *VOID IMPLICATIONS!!!!*

"Journey beyond to something, somewhere only ever glimpsed. When the world beneath your feet cracks and crumbles, will you hold on to all you once knew? Or dive into the unknown?" YOU READ THIS AND TELL ME THIS DOESN'T HAVE VOID SEA VIBES. Journey BEYOND to something, somewhere only ever glimpsed... it feels very void-y to me. And the talk about the world beneath you crumbling-- holding on to what you once knew or diving into the unknown?? If this somehow ISN'T related to ascension I would be shocked

"And through the middle of it all, a lonely lost slugcat trying their best to outlast the ravages of a warped world." This line about the world being warped, as well... I'm thinking this DLC might either have to do with Rubicon, or have to do with the encroach of the void sea consuming the world from below.

Other then the void implications, it sounds like we'll be seeing some new creatures that could completely redefine the game. I'm excited to see where that goes.

OKAY. SCREENSHOTS. LETS GO.

I know these are from pre-existing mods, but I'm completely unfamiliar with said mods and don't know if any of this means anything. Just wild speculation, pretty much.

Gonna start with these two because they're kinda visually similar. On the left we have desert!!!! Cacti!! Cactuses!!!!! I've seen lots of people calling the image on the right snow, but that doesnt feel right to me. We saw snow in Saint and I do not remember it looking like... that. The first thing that comes to mind for me is Kingdom's Edge from Hollow Knight, and the drifts of ash that pile up there? If this is the case then it confirms several of my lore theories and I would so love that to be the case. There's also a collapsed structure in the back of the "snowy" image, which looks to me a bit like a train car?

Also I've now seen several people calling these milk... and I can't unsee it now...

I've been told by several sources that these screens are from preexisting mods! I think these are from Stormy Coast, Coral Caves, and Aether Ridge? At least that's what I've picked up from searching through other discussions. I don't have too much to comment on here! I think these rooms are cool, and I really like the fans in the Aether Ridge room!

...oh no... acid region..? I don't know why, but this room gives me Shoreline vibes. Also I do not think bubble fruit are supposed to grow that perfectly--

And finally... what I think has the possibility of either being a huge lore thing, or a complete false alarm. Well for starters it's purple

But there are no iterator cans in the background. We're above the clouds here; in every above-the-clouds show from the base game and Downpour, you can see iterators and communication towers off in the distance. There's nothing here. And I don't think this takes place near or after Saint, because there's no confirmed snow. And I think a lot of these structures would be far worse for wear if this were so far in the future that the planet has warmed again. So. Uh. That's pretty odd.

Again, these all might be from mods that I am unfamiliar with, so please correct me if I'm misinterpreting anything!!

AND THAT CONCLUDES MY ANALYSIS FOR NOW!

tl,dr-- This DLC is gonna be crazy. Also void

#rain world #rw nightcat #rw watcher #rw the watcher #rw nightwatcher #rain world the watcher #rw slugcat #rain world theory #I'm sure I missed a ton of stuff so feel free to add on!!#might make a separate post theorizing on some of this...#ramblings #brain rot #oc

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inner-viper · 4 months

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New Year Reading 2024 Edition- Timeless Reading

Hello, I hope everyone is doing well! This is a general New Year’s reading so you can have a peak of what’s coming to your life! If you are interested in receiving a detailed New Year’s reading then you can purchase it here! This reading comes with an explanation of each month and the overall energy of your year! This reading is exclusive and will be discontinued after the Chinese New Year!

GET A 10% DISCOUNT CODE: NEWYEAR2024

https://innerviper.com/discount/NEWYEAR2024

NEW YEARS TAROT READING- LIMITED EDITION

https://innerviper.com/products/2024-new-year-tarot-reading

EXCLUSIVE PATREON READINGS

https://www.patreon.com/InnerViper

Pile 1

Dark Wood Tarot Deck:

Two of Cups, Moon, Empress, Hierophant, and Judgment in rx

There seems to be a general energy of finding the right people. You may encounter someone who will be a lover, a good friend, or a great business partner. This person may have been someone you have been trying to manifest to come into your life. They will be loyal and courageous, they hold a special place in your life. Now some people may go through uncovering many illusions and lies about the people surrounding them. Some of you have some toxic people around and this will be the year of finding out truths. I feel like some of you have been holding back on who you are, there seems to be a general energy of not being able to express who you really are! You are meant to find out more things about yourself this year, a lot of self-discovery energy is in this pile. Now, there may be a turn of events where you may end up pregnant, if that is not resonating then you may discover a new creative endeavor. This creative project will bring birth many abundances into your life! For some of you, there will be another rite of passage, like a transition from one place to another! Some of you may be physically moving and others may be moving spiritually. There will be many ups and downs but you seem to be able to get through it. Try not to be overly self-critical in your spiritual journey and in general! I am picking up the vibes that you can be overly critical.

Thank you for reading!

Pile 2

Dark Wood Tarot Deck:

Death, Seven of Cups, Page of Cups, Magician, and Devil

This pile is starting off strong, there will be a transformation at the beginning of the year. It may start off rough for some of you who have chosen this pile. I am picking up a lot of losses and it could be financial losses, what I am about to say next may not be applicable to everyone but I do see that there is a death involved. This could be a family member, friend, or someone close. It will be hard getting through this from the start. Now for the majority, there will be a death in who you are, there seems to be a general energy of you transcending the past and becoming someone better than the past before. Perhaps the past used to haunt you but you’ll be able to face it. You seem to be working on your dreams and bringing them to reality. Connecting and grounding yourself with Mother Nature. I feel like some of you this year will begin to plan big things such as business, academia, and etc. However, there seems to be a twist and turn later on. It could be that you got stuck in a negative cycle towards the end of the year. This may be some addiction of some sort. Overall, your year turned out to be very good for setting the foundations of success for 2025.

Thank you for reading!

Pile 3

Dark Wood Tarot Deck:

Page of Pentacles, Lovers in rx, Seven of Pentacles in rx, Queen of Cups, and Nine of Swords in rx

You will start off strong this year, you may have a new project that you are begging to start. You will be taking it upon yourself to set yourself up for success and abundance this year. This could be career-related! Now, later on, it seems like you may have dealt with lovers who are not good for you, there may be certain people that you end up attracting because they may think you are easy. You may have entertained it for some time but it seems like you made the decision to no longer interact with the dating scene. There will be a release in your romantic life, I do see that for some this will lead to you rejecting yourself. There seems to be a disappointment of your harvest not being ready yet, you will go through learning the lesson of patience. Patience is key this year for you! Later on in the year, you will be able to be more emotionally available to yourself and others. I am seeing that this opening of the heart will allow your fruits to be harvested. You went down only to go up! Overall, this year was a good year. Filled with many rewards and fun memories.

Thank you for reading!

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hawthornvisual · 2 months

Text

2013 vs 2024

tbh, this is incredibly difficult for me. as a trans woman, there are certain expectations for posts like these. some gruff but sad looking man who was transformed into a happy beautiful girl via hormones. so you might think that nothing has changed. or perhaps i have gone backwards, gotten hairier, bigger, becoming even more of a man than i started off as.

this might be hard to read, so i'll put the rest under a read more. CW for homelessness, starvation, transmisogyny, and probably a few things i'm missing.

my transition has been messy. in some ways, you might say that i spent the first 25 years of my life transitioning. as a child i was efemminate, loved to play dress up and dolls, but my father was so against this that he filed a lawsuit against my mother, getting a court order forbidding her from "forcing me to crossdress." this set the tone for the rest of my childhood, which is a story i will not get into here because it is much worse than the story i'm trying to tell.

growing up in a christian fundamentalist home meant that it wasn't until much later, after my mother gained custody and i had gone on to experience even further ruination of my life, that i even learned that trans people exist. that this was a thing you could do, could be. a brief flash, something hiding behind my eyes, and i had locked it away. of course i wasn't trans. i was an athlete, a martial artist, a musician, why would i need to think about gender?

when i was 16, i joined tumblr. i saw a blooming transgender community, got to see the inner thoughts and conversations that trans people were having, couldn't avoid certain things any longer. i started to identify as nonbinary, eventually even coming out to my mother, who certainly TRIED to be supportive. it was exciting, made my heart race a little, made me scared. i had no idea what i was doing, or how my world was about to turn upside down and inside out.

the summer i turned 18, i was severely injured in a martial arts tournament. my right knee had caved in, the bone at the site of the joint crushed by a man i had thought was my friend. i didn't realize what had happened, and so didn't go to a doctor until two weeks later, at which point the damage was considered irreversible. everything i was disappeared. i lost all will to live. i stopped drawing, stopped playing music. i started drinking heavily. my family knew i was struggling but any efforts to fix the situation just made it worse. my mother and older brother had been putting more and more pressure on me to get a job and get out of the house, even though i could barely walk. my older brother told me that my mother was going to kick me out if i couldn't start contibuting. i still couldn't. i became homeless for the first time at the age of 19.

when you're homeless, it's like every single day is drawn out into countless hours, and you either have nothing to do, or far too much to do, and nothing in between. i had an online partner at the time, someone who turned out to be a chaser targeting suspiciously egg shaped men and nonbinary people, who spent the entire time getting more and more frustrated that i didn't have the time to be a fucktoy. i ended up insitutionalized for a month, after which i was kicked to the curb and left with nothing but a backpack and the clothes on my back. any journey of self discovery i may have been having was on hold until i wasn't fighting for survival.

my rescue came from a nonbinary lesbian who reached out to me. i was offered a room, a place to stay for no cost. they helped me break up with my partner. i found myself in a new sort of situationship, but at a confusing cost. why was this lesbian interested in me? was that even okay? eventually we had a conversation. they revealed to me that they had thought i was a trans woman. the fact that i had been seen as a woman hit me like a truck in a blindzone i didn't know i had.

after a difficult few days of arguing with myself, i couldn't hide from it. i was a woman. maybe i had always been a woman. a thought more terrifying than it had any right to be.

i grew my hair out. i started shaving. after a few months, i was even able to book my first HRT appointment (thank you state of washington trans healthcare laws). i came out to my mother a second time, and her reaction was much different this time. maybe due to the distance that had grown between us, the past hostility that left scars still bleeding, but i suspect it was because telling her that her firstborn son was actually a woman was much scarier to her than telling her that i didn't really care about gender.

this photo is from the day that i had my first HRT appointment. my soft chin, once a weakness, could be bared proudly, the ambiguity in my face becoming something that i cherished.

a year later, i had the longest hair of my life. if i shaved and wore makeup, and dressed right, i could get gendered correctly so long as i didn't speak. in that regard, i was truly getting the full experience of womanhood. my relationship with my partner was going strong. i thought that i had found my forever.

things got messy. you will probably hear me say this again. you won't find many better ways to describe my life, other than messy. my partner had always been polyamorous, but i was not, and had not ever pretended that this was not the case. so when one of my partners friends confessed her love to them, they went into panic mode. suddenly they were pushing everyone away, reverting to old bad habits and anxieties, and our relationship began to fall apart.

the friend, we'll call her A, pretended to move on, started dating someone else. my own friendship with A was strained by the situation, and her new partner, a butch lesbian named rowan, seemed to be suffering for it. i realized that the only way our relationships could survive was if we tried to work out an agreement to polyamory. in the end that wasn't enough, but i was desperate. i was starting to see the cracks, realizing that if this fell apart, i would be homeless again. my leg injury had already been so badly worsened from my first experience with homelessness, i knew that going through it again would be the end of me.

since my partner and A were now seeing each other, i began to get ignored. the only time either of them spent talking to me was talking about each other, either joyous or trying to fix some new problem. at this point, i started getting to know rowan. we had a lot in common, i had never talked to a butch before, let alone known one, and seeing the way that they navigated gender made me jealous. i didn't know why.

more and more, rowan and i were separated from the broader relationship, and as we talked more, something developed. i had already felt it the first time we spoke, on some level, but it had grown and grown, from respect, to admiration, to desire and love. we were in a polyamorous relationship after all, so it made sense to me. but shortly after, when i told my partner what i was feeling, they freaked out. this wasn't the agreement, they had only agreed to them being able to date other people, didn't think that it would need to be specified because i wasn't polyamorous.

the entire relationship falls apart and we go back to being two separate couples, and the end of that came swiftly after. they cheated on me with A, and when i found out, that was it. my now ex partner told me that i could stay at the apartment until the lease ran out, and they would move back in with their parents. they took all the furniture, i was left with an ancient computer, a blanket, some clothes, and two pillows. my depression came back with a vengeance, and i stopped eating. by the time the lease ran out, i had lost a dangerous amount of weight. i became homeless for the second time at age 22.

this time, after only six months, i found a thin sliver of hope. i was given a place to stay. a single-wide trailer that i would share with three other trans women and a hairy nonbinary lesbian. you've probably heard the stories of similar situations. it's impossible to have healthy boundaries in a space the size of a can of sardines. or healthy anything really. i got involved in an incredibly toxic relationship with one of the other trans women, who i found out was dating nearly a dozen other people.

the only thing i could do was try to feel wanted. desired. i began experimenting with my image.

i re-established contact with rowan, but there was so much there that i couldn't bring myself to face yet. as i began to experiment with more masculine presentation, those around me took a greater interest in me. i was an object of desire. it was the most worth i had felt i ever had.

i wasn't eating again. so my weight kept dropping. in the three-odd years since my first encounter with homelessness, i had lost 30% of my entire bodyweight. this only made my physical issues get worse and worse.

i wasn't done with experimentation though. what could i do with this newfound territory?

the time came. i couldn't stay anymore. the relationship had fallen apart, and my connection to the household had been sent away in exile. the irony of this is not lost on me. i was lucky enough to be able to couch surf for a few months this time.

i lost weight again.

and again.

my knee got worse and worse. my iliotibial band tore. my birthday came and went, nobody celebrated except for rowan, now my only friend.

a week after my birthday, a lesbian couple contacted me. told me that they had a spare bedroom, and that if i could cover the costs of my own food, could stay for as long as i liked.

i started HRT again. rowan and i had managed to work through all the shit and scum of our past and started a relationship anew. it felt like this could be real.

i started to look a lot like my mom. kind of uncomfortably like my mom. rowan was butch, so i had thought i should be a femme. i didn't understand what that meant, but whatever it was i attempted, it wavered dramatically.

i began to switch, every month or so, between masculine and feminine presentation. my chest had grown enough that it was visible now, and i experienced an equal amount of joy and fear when i was gendered correctly in public, having learned to fear people finding out that i was a trans woman.

the weight didn't come back. it was like my body had burned itself so far down that it could not regrow. i had no energy, and my physical condition continued to deteriorate. but i was allowed to be myself. and i was in love with a butch. maybe that would be enough.

i began to develop a fashion sense of my own. the butch label was starting to appeal to me. and my roommates seemed to agree, since they both shifted towards butchness and masculinity alongside me. but it wasn't to last. one of my roommates, a TME lesbian i'm gonna call M, suddenly went off on a transmisogynistic rant to me. M's partner was a trans woman, and hearing this caused me to suddenly re-evaluate everything. did this happen because M viewed me as more masculine now, a more acceptable target? would this happen to G, M's partner?

i hardcore shifted gears back to feminine presentation. it felt safer. i stopped eating again. things weren't okay, but they were bearable this way. but then, one day, we got locked out of our apartment. a stupid, played out thing that happens to everyone at least once. while my roommate G went to see if the apartment manager was in with a spare key, i attempted to climb our balcony and get in through the unlocked back door. when i was up on the railing of our balcony, it gave way, and i fell to the asphalt below, breaking my back. following a trend that i set half a decade ago, i didn't realize it had happened. my back hurt, but i thought it would go away. it did, replaced by a vast numbness through the middle of my back. i began to collapse any time i tried to exhert myself physically at all. i would only find out why years later. the fact that i couldn't contribute to chores anymore, and nobody knew why, made the situation with M deteriorate much faster.

at my lowest point in years. my relationship with rowan was the only thing that kept me from giving up, but after the third time M decided to spew vileness at me i just spent months locked away in my room, terrified that any time i saw M was going to be another lecture about how i was disrespectful, loud, obtrusive, intimidating, too quiet, too lazy, whatever incoherent train of thought i would have to face next.

it was too much to handle in combination with the events of 2020, the lockdowns, the illness, the forest fires, things ended up coming to a head. at age 25, i became homeless for the third time, during the pandemic and a wildfire that filled the air with plastic fumes so thick you couldn't see ten feet in front of you.

i got in contact with my mother and had her take my cat, because i knew i couldn't take care of her like this. that was the last time i saw my cat in person before she died. rowan was frantically trying anything and everything possible to help me. i thought that this might be the end.

three and a half years ago today i got the best news of my life. there was a way out. it would be a long and tricky road, involving moving my whole life to a new country. but we could do it. not only could we do it, but we actually did it. in a months time, i was in rowan's arms. for the first time in our years of knowing each other, there was nothing keeping us apart any longer.

i was finally able to rest. able to eat. i started to regain weight for the first time in nearly a decade. i felt my energy come back, slowly at first, and then more and more until i was capable of functioning, even if at a low level. it's around then that i find out the truth of what happened to my back. it still hasn't properly healed.

in my gratefullness for life and love, i briefly forgot my identity crisis. i was happy to just exist without fear and pain. it wasn't until about a year ago, when a miracle occurred, that this changed.

i woke up one morning, feeling more energetic than usual. i think to myself, maybe i can do some light exercise, for old times sake.

my knee doesn't hurt.

MY KNEE DOESN'T HURT.

a wound that i thought would dictate my life forever, given actual time to rest and food to fuel the process, had healed. everything that i had ever given up on came rushing back into my head, ideas about who i could be, what i could become, what other injuries i might be able to recover from if i treat them right and rebuild myself. ten months ago i began to work out consistently. my back is slowly healing. i am stronger than i ever was before.

i have had to rebuild myself so many times. did i ever discover the secret of butchness in the process? no, that's something that i think will take the rest of my life. for now, my butchness is an enduring pillar, the only part of myself that never fully burnt away. standing up for myself, being my own person, loving another butch, refusing to lose the kindness i so desperately clung to my whole life, refusing to limit myself and my dreams, this is who i am. i am friends with other butches. i am not alone anymore. for now, this is butch. this is me.

#transgender #transition timeline #trans woman #butch

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