#to start watching 9-1-1 again just because of this even though I know damn well I’m just a clown with a little bit of hope still

[wander-wren]

sometimes i wonder about what fandom is going to look like in 5 or 10 years. i think we might have already started to see a shift.

because, look, most of the oldest, biggest fandoms are from tv shows and movies, in particular ones that go on for years and scores of episodes. star trek, star wars, stargate (is everything star?), doctor who, supernatural…even sherlock really got its biggest popularity boosts in the modern day from tv adaptations. marvel and dc were comics first, too, but movies made them more accessible; their “cinematic universe” tags are the biggest on ao3 by far.

but what tv shows are we getting now? short, 8-episode things that get canceled two or three seasons in, that are usually less-than-faithful adaptations of other media anyway.

what movies are we getting? well, marvel turns more to slop every day, and everything else is remakes and sequels no one asked for. the general populace will still go see them and find some good movies that they like, but there’s not much really for fandom to grasp onto.

the best shows for fandom that we’ve had recently, that i can think of, are stranger things, game of thrones, and maybe our flag means death. stranger things is dying off, especially since they’re looking at a 3-4 YEAR gap between s4 and s5. game of thrones’s popularity plummeted after its final season, we all know that. our flag means death is still chugging fairly okay, but after that second season a lot of the fandom dropped it, and with it now being cancelled, i don’t see it sticking around.

yes, we can chalk part of this up to a new generation to of fans having this growing idea that fandom is super temporary, to be abandoned as soon as its not on trend. but media used to be on trend for a whole lot longer than it is now. seasons were longer, we had filler episodes, things were lower quality sometimes but at least they came out on a consistent schedule. i don’t mind if supernatural isn’t an artistic masterpiece, but if i was a stranger things fan waiting until 2026 for the final season, i would be annoyed if it wasn’t damn near perfect. that’s assuming i watched it at all—we’re all so used to not getting endings and moving on, so why would i bother?

i think there are two types of shows doing sort of okay about this. one is procedurals—9-1-1 is a popular one i’ve run into, and it started in 2018, around the beginning of the decline, but it’s managed 7 seasons in those six years, most of them with 18 episodes. the other is, honestly, anime—though we can and SHOULD talk about the terrible working conditions that make the fast turnarounds there possible. look at how big some anime fandoms are.

judging by the relative fandom popularity of other procedural dramas (grey’s anatomy, law & order, criminal minds), i think that’s going to remain sort of niche. fandom likes fantasy and scifi best, and they just don’t tend to have as strong of an overarching arc to dig into. at least, that’s why i wouldn’t watch them. i think there’s also a good chance these will start to die out in the coming years as well.

anime could also die out a little bit. better working conditions would necessitate less/slower content, and it’s true that most of the popular anime fandoms have been around for years, even decades.

so, what, no new, lasting tv show or movie fandoms anymore?

what will the biggest fandoms be in 5-10 years?

podcast fandoms have a shot. the magnus archives is still going strong, and i’ve been seeing a lot about dungeons and daddies. i think we’re kind of almost past the golden age for podcasts, but i am an outsider, so maybe that will change.

book fandoms seem like a kind of obvious choice, but they just don’t get as big without, you guessed it, a movie or show adaptation. and the downsizing has hit them, too—can you think of anything from the last 5 or 10 years that rivals harry potter, percy jackson, warriors, lord of the rings, hunger games, acotar…even game of thrones (asoiaf) again? i can’t. the collapse of the publishing industry is another post entirely.

2020 is really what cemented these changes, though they were starting in the late 2010s, at least. with actual industries shutting down, there was room for indie creators making things alone in their houses to pop up, and people had more time on their hands to try new things out and get into them.

the two things that have really been on the rise since 2020 is rpf and video game fic—often both combined. we’ve got genshin impact, call of duty, minecraft of course being huge, rpf of various youtubers, and k-pop rpf. now, i think rpf is contentious enough that it won’t really become the main fandom, but video game fic…might be it.

even video blogging rpf can often be a blurred enough line that people are more comfortable with it. and the thing is…youtube creators are actually more reliable than mainstream television these days. they need to be, to maintain their platforms. they need to not cancel series and to live up to their own hype as best they can and to not abandon the channel for 3 or 4 years at a time. and again, you can talk about burnout and unrealistic expectations and all of those things, but it’s still true.

maybe i’m completely wrong. maybe in 10 years the film and publishing industries will all sort themselves out and we’ll go back to the status quo. but i think this position fandom is finding itself in is interesting, and i wouldn’t necessarily be surprised if what’s most popular (both in the specific source material sense and the medium/genre sense) is different some time down the road.

#wren wrambles #fanfiction #ao3 #fandom #fandom meta #fanfic #fanfiction meta #i’m curious what other people think about this #tempted to tag the fandoms i mentioned for reach but. dont know. we’ll see how this does

[oubliette-odette]

The Reluctance of Love Pt. 6

Orc Male x Half-Elf Male, Fated Mates, Forbidden Love, Slow Burn Part 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10 Word Count: 2148 (average 16 min read) Content Warnings: mention of mating, nothing happens....yet ;) All orcish is from orcishdictionary.com, created by Matt Vancil. Not beta-read. Criticism is welcome, but be sure to distinguish criticism from hate.

Altan POV

It had been ten days since Drunrag left to find a way to stop lordhovid. I didn’t want to tell Drun and worry him, but I was becoming restless with him gone and things got progressively worse for me. The first few days he had left, I felt like I was able to stay composed rather well. I would visit the markets and spend my evenings in the tavern below my room, sometimes playing my lute which helped me to pay for the extra nights that I hadn’t planned on staying there. Some of the patrons would comment on my flushed composure, but I chalked it up to being new in town and unfamiliar with the warm temperature and that I was sensitive to the fire from the giant hearth in the tavern. But there eventually came a boiling point - for lack of a better word - where I would wake up with a flame inside me that was insatiable. There was nothing that could abate how utterly starved I was to be near Drun.

I spent the latter days in my room at the inn, the door locked. The bedsheets were on the floor because they were too much for me. I would try to read or play or write music, but I usually ended up lost in a heated daze, caught between daydreams of Drun and the fuzzy reality around me.

I still felt that hunger in our dreams, though thankfully not as strong. I would see him, see his beautiful austere visage all nervous and quiet. He looked like his skin was cool and I wanted to press my hand to his and let my burning flesh be cooled by his. But he would always hold back. He was so gods damned respectful of my space. And I honestly wish he wouldn’t be. I was dying to be touched by him. I wanted to know what his tusks would feel against my skin as he kissed my neck. Or how those rough hands would run coarsely against my waist. 

Gods, I was a mess.

I knew my father would strike me if he ever caught the sight of me during that time. I was overheated, over aroused, and desperate to be touched by a man - an orc no less. All of those things were unacceptable to him. 

He could honestly go fuck himself for all I cared.

Those nights, dreaming with Drun were the moments I held my breath for every night. I liked seeing the way his eyes struggled to meet mine, but when they did, he seemed to struggle looking away. I like how when I said his name, his eyes would also grow wide for just a few moments and his lips would twitch to a dazed smile. He was easy to please, incredibly shy and hard to get him to say more than a few words. But I loved asking him questions, I loved watching how deeply he thought about each question, taking his time and pondering. He reminded me of a tree sometimes. He was large like a tree trunk and tall, but he was deeply rooted and not in a hurry to rush to the next thought. Meanwhile I felt like I was nothing more than a squirrel that climbed up and down his limbs again and again and again at rapid speed. Every minute in his presence had my brain whirling at what to say next, to resist telling him how handsome he was to me, to not talk too fast and overwhelm him. 

I learned how patient and kind Drun was through those conversations, and it started to make a little more sense each night why this mating situation was so hard for him. For him, he really needed to think things over and really mull over his decisions. Lordhovid took away the chance to think about his choice from him and it really affected how he viewed his people’s culture. I could tell he struggled with the reality that his way of thinking was so different from his family, but I couldn’t help but admire his devotion to his own personal truths. 

I never pressed him on how he was doing in his journey. I dreaded to know if he was close to finding a way to stop lordhovid and there was secretly a hope that maybe all of these dream conversations would help him change his mind. 

So I didn’t expect it when one afternoon I was laying my head against the pane of glass in my room when suddenly I felt my body temperature reduce - like a fever had broken - and I lifted my head, sensing the clarity and focus I had lacked for so many weeks. Everything was suddenly in intense focus and I looked around my room - an absolute disaster - and realized that I was fine. I was…normal.

I didn’t know what my reaction was at that time. It was stuck between relief at finally being free and my muscles loose from their tension, but also stunned and sad. 

Drunrag did it. He had managed to rid himself - and me - of the mating instinct that kept us tied together. 

It also meant that Drunrag now had no reason to ever see me again. Nothing was pulling him to me like before. I realized that with a sense of dread and hopelessness. He was so determined to not sleep with me. So determined to be rid of our connection. 

Doubt crept in almost immediately - maybe Drun had only been nice to me because he could distract me while he removed lordhovid. Maybe he was only nice to me because I told him he was my first real friend and he felt bad for me. Maybe he won’t come back now that he’s rid of me. Maybe he hated how easy I was to be wanted by him, just like my father hates me for it. Should I wait for him? Do I tell him everything I felt for him?

I shut my eyes tight and willed the thoughts away. No, Drun would come back and we would be…friends.

I sat, stunned in my room. I looked around and groaned at the disaster I had lived in for the last week while Drun had been gone. The sheets, sweaty and crumpled on the floor, next to a pile of unwashed clothes. A pile of plates that needed to be returned to the tavern downstairs was sitting at the small table in the corner.

I sighed. There was nothing I could do about Drun right now. I uttered a small prayer to Alunis - the Sun God - that Drun would return to me safely and I got to my feet and set about getting my life back in order. I would wait for him, my Drun, to return to me. I had not planned to stay here as long as I had, but I would be careful. I promised not to do anything stupid while I waited.

I gathered the sheets and the clothes and with a few extra coins and a smile, I gave them to the innkeeper’s wife to wash. Her services were thorough and as she took my linens in a basket to a counter behind her, she looked me up and down and told me I was too thin and in need of a good bath. She shoved a plateful of food into my hands and sat me down. I felt her eyes watching me, making sure I took every bite before she lifted me by the collar and pushed me out the door with a token to the bathhouse to get myself cleaned up. 

I wandered the streets, still dazed. I wasn’t used to feeling so normal yet. For the past almost three weeks I had been in a state of feverish tension, and my muscles still felt the soreness of being caught in that state of tension for so long.

The bathhouse was quiet during the middle of the day and there were only a few other patrons there. I had never experienced a public bathhouse before. Having the father I did meant that I lived in constant privilege which included private baths. The man at the entrance took my token and guided me to a room to leave my clothes, before stepping out into a large room with a pool of hot, steaming water. I glanced around nervously, catching nobody’s gaze as I stepped into the steam-filled room naked and shivering. It was commonplace for these folk for everyone here to be nude, but I found myself unaccustomed to it and unsure where to keep my eyes.

Once in the water though, I felt my body relax and I breathed deeply, letting the steam fill my lungs with that wet, humid air. This was heavenly. I sighed and sunk my head into the water. My hair had been neglected these past few days and I apologized profusely in my head to the old woman who used to care for it for me.

I kept my eyes closed and I let the warm water wash away the sweat and the history of the last few days from my body. I reveled in being myself again, as much as it caused me angst to know what that would mean next. I stayed until my fingers and toes were wrinkled and I stepped out, dripping and wet and padded back into the room where my clothes sat. I reached for a clean towel from a pile and tousled my hair dry and padded myself off. My clothes were still not clean - but I suffered the experience of putting them back on with a promise that I would wear clean clothes as soon as I got back to my room. 

I turned to step out of the bathhouse when I bumped into a large, sturdy chest. I yelped and stepped back, blinking in alarm. 

I saw the red phoenix insignia on his chest before I saw his face and I felt my body go cold. 

No, I thought, my mind racing, they found me, they found me, they’re going to take me away from Drun. 

I shook my head, panic already settling into my bones. 

“Altan Hilmar, son of Archduke Taliesin Hilmar?” The man asked. His voice was low, unfeeling and commanding. He looked to be in his fifties, with a full beard and brown eyes that looked down at me as if I were nothing more than a petulant child. 

I shook my head again.

He didn’t react to my reluctance to answer, instead he continued, “You are to return to Berdusk where your father will enact the proper consequences for running away.”

“Please.” I breathed, “I can’t go back to him. I won’t go.”

“My orders are clear, young Hilmar, you will come with me to Berdusk.”

“Have you no mercy?” I pleaded. “I will not cause my father any dishonor, but please don’t make me leave. I have to stay here.”

“I am a patient man, Hilmar.” The man continued. “But I also will not tolerate bargaining. I only obey one master, and that is the honourable Duke Hilmar. Now, after you.” He gestured to the door, I looked out and saw that there were two other armoured men with the same insignia on their chests waiting for me. 

I couldn’t bow my head in defeat, I couldn’t cry. Not in front of these men. They all watched me closely, carefully. I’m sure they all saw me as some spoiled, rich son of the duke who ran away to be reckless and ungrateful. They probably saw me as weak and useless without any notable skill, but I would not let them see me shrink under their stares. My mother told me my strength was different. I raised my chin high and regarded the man before me. “I will need my belongings.” I said.

“They have already been collected from the inn you were staying at.” The man answered. “Now, move along. We’re taking you home.”

There were too many thoughts in my head as I walked between the line of guards that led me through the walking streets until we arrived upon the stable where a carriage was waiting. I looked down one road, knowing that it led to Drun’s forge. I felt a stutter in my heart as I realized that Drun would return to find me gone.

It was then I could no longer hold my head up strong. I had no way to tell him where I was going. That I wanted to stay. That I was so fond of him, and I admired him and was so grateful that he trusted me and that we were each other’s first friend.

I wish I could have told him that I was falling in love with him.

#oublietteodette #monster boyfriend #orc boyfriend #orc x half elf #dnd inspired #set in faerun #monster lover #monster romance #orc #orc romance #monster fucker #slow burn #romance #my fic #writing #gay romance #my fic writing #fantasy story #creative writing #bg3 #writeblr #mm romance #orc x elf

[madaboutmunson]

The Drive-In Part 9

Part 1 | Part 8 | Part 10 | Links to all Parts | AO3 Link

Taglist: @2btheanswertothequestion @cr0w-culture @panicatthediaz @rhyswritesreadsandcries @weirdspaceowl

Eddie raises one hand to his contorted, confused face, the other pointing at Steve, "No, you're gonna have to backtrack on this plot, dude, because it sounds, to me, like that time-travelling little pervert is trying to bang his mom."

Steve lurches forward into Eddie's space and slurs out, "That's exactly what I said!! Thank you" Eddie receives a hard pat on his shoulder.

It had been some time and a substantial tower of beer cans since Eddie had almost spontaneously combusted in the kitchen. The only thing that seemed to make sense was, when he touched Steve's arms, the firmness of which Eddie again was trying to push out of his mind, it had set off a signal to Steve that they were in sports team mode. Because since then, Eddie had been winked at, shoved, patted, slapped on the back, an arm flung around him to squeeze his shoulders, and had a hand engulf his knee.

Eddie could say something, he probably should, but he was in such a state of shock about it he hadn't. He could move to the other sofa, but maybe this is how Steve hung out with that Robin guy. From what Eddie could tell, Steve was a little sensitive about getting things wrong, and honestly, he looked happy, and Eddie didn't want to be the guy to tear him down.

They weren't even watching the movie playing. Superman 2. That was probably Eddie's fault. He was getting fidgety, and the film was not engaging him in any way. He was wrestling with his brain. He couldn't stop thinking about that wink in the kitchen, so he tried to calm himself down, playing with his rings. Steve must have noticed because he started this conversation about this weird movie he'd seen a month or two ago.

Eddie pauses for a minute, "No, wait…from what you've said here, the Mom is way worse."

Steve narrows his eyes at Eddie, "What d'you mean?"

Eddie settles into full animated, conspiracy-explaining mode, "It sounds to me like the Mom would have banged her son, but you know, she didn't know it was her son, right? So not her fault, but then when she does have a kid…she names him after this mysterious guy she had a crush on in the 50s?"

Steve is out of his seat, hand and beer can to his head, as he paces around, eyes wide as Eddie had just revealed another mystery of the universe to him. "Oh my God, dude! You're right! I hadn't even thought of that!"

With Steve now standing, Eddie grabs onto that opportunity thread and stands up too, but at the other end of the sofa, to avoid another hard slap of congratulations. He was still partially covered in rapidly developing bruises, though the alcohol was easing the pain somewhat.

Steve takes a swig of beer from his can, shakes it between his two fingers, and realizes it must be empty. Then his eyes catch Eddie's again. He tilts his head and smiles at Eddie.

Eddie can feel his defences crumbling.

"Damn, you're smart, Munson," Steve says before crushing the beer can against his head.

Eddie is clinging to the arm of the sofa like it's his last tether to this plane of existence. His body and brain control centres were currently in full submarine emergency mode: all red lights and whooping sirens.

The only function he can muster right now is to blink.

Fucking hell, he'd hit Eddie's kryptonite. Steve had called him smart. Twice!!

While Eddie was more than aware that Steve was no rocket scientist, he was still someone he'd never expected to receive this kind of compliment from. He'd never expected to be hanging out with him, especially not to be enjoying it.

Eddie needed to get out of this room for something green of his own.

Earth to Eddie!! Say something!!!

Eddie points at the crushed can in Steve's hand, "Well, that right there might be part of your problem, my man."

My man? My man???!! Eddie inwardly cringes hard. Why did he phrase it that way? Jesus!!

Steve looks confused, "Beer?"

"Well, Steve, that wasn't exactly what I meant. It was more the crushing it against your head. It was a dumb joke, sorry. Not looking so smart now, am I?" Eddie awkwardly laughs and gives him a big grin and shrug combo.

As he looks back up at Steve, he can see his eyes are wide. He slaps the sofa arm and is laughing, like, with audible Ho noises, a look of surprise on his face.

Eddie is perplexed, "It honestly wasn't that funny!" but Eddie laughs a little anyway because he's never seen Steve laugh like this. In complete free abandon, it's almost childlike, free from inhibition.

Steve catches his breath and points a wagging finger at Eddie, "You," he shakes his head and looks up at Eddie, "You called me Steve."

Eddie is still confused and furrows his brow, "Well, that is your name, buddy."

Steve is waving his hands in front of him and makes a buzzer sound, "Wrong! You call me Harrington, or King Steve, or tomorrow-Steve, or something else. Not just Steve" Steve puts his hands on his hips and spins the remote around in his hand before turning off the TV, "You…like me," Steve finalizes by turning off the TV.

Eddie wants to bolt for the door, but unfortunately for him, that door is behind Steve.

Quick, Eddie, think!!

"Yeah, well, you like me too. You've hugged me like a bajillion times!" Eddie scoffs and folds his arms.

Steve's eyes glance up softly into Eddie's, "First of all, I've hugged…well more like put my arm around you…like three times, if that, and," a smile plays melodically across Steve's face, "I do like you…Eddie."

Oh, God, no! No, no, no. No, this is not happening.

Eddie thinks for a moment he might have passed out and that this was some kind of nightmare. Eddie pinches himself discretely. Hard. It hurts. This is real.

Say something!!! Jesus Christ!!!

All the posts in Eddie's brain centre were abandoned. All he had available was the autopilot emergency system.

You need to get the reigns on this situation, Edward!!

He didn't mean it that way, and even if he did. Eddie liked girls, right? Right! And so did Steve! This was just because someone popular from high school had taken a shine to him, and he was just flattered. That was all. But for good measure, the sooner Steve went to sleep and wasn't touching him or complimenting him, the better. Or, at the very least, the weed would quiet Eddie's brain.

Eddie manages to huff out a laugh, "Well, who could blame you, man? I'm a very likeable guy." he reaches down to grab his lunch box and holds it up. "And if you would kindly lead the way, Steve, I'm about to get at least ten times more likeable."

"I dunno, man, I probably shouldn't" Steve glances at the tower of beer cans.

"Hey man, no problem here. More for me, right?" Eddie is desperately trying to get out of this increasingly warm room and into the fresh air, "It is kinda my original plan for this evening, though. You know, before all the running and fighting. Or…um…if you're worried about the neighbours or something, I can go home. It's totally cool," Eddie smiles, trying to give Steve options without making him feel pressured into anything. Eddie was not like that.

"No, I don't want you to go." Steve says suddenly, and it takes Eddie off guard, "I just…you know what…" Steve grabs for another can of beer, stabs a hole in it, and shotguns it.

Wiping his beer-glistening mouth with the back of his hand, Steve says, "Mood killer penalty, right?" and gives Eddie a little half smile, making Eddie feel like Steve is searching for his approval.

"Right." Eddie smiles back, still firmly gripping the sofa arm.

Steve walks out the door and turns back to look at Eddie over his shoulder, "Well, come on then," he says bossily, waving him over.

#eddie munson #eddiemunson #eddie stranger things #eddie munson fanfic #fanfiction #eddie munson fluff #stranger things #stranger things fanfiction #steveharrington #steve harrington #steve harrington x eddie munson #Steddie #steve harrington fanfic #steddie fanfic #madaboutmunson #madaboutmunsondrivein #the drive-in

[marauders-peace]

Sneak peak for part 9

The next part is very long so i wanted to show you a little clip from it before I finish it :))

Masterlist part 1

Remus's POV.

"You're staring again," Sirius said, and I wanted to strangle him. I forced myself to look away from the two, but I couldn't really. My gaze kept going back to them.

Seeing how he looked at her made me sick. How she laughed with him. How she seemed to be having the time of her life with him. A nauseating feeling crawled up inside me, and I wanted to hit something. Preferably Luis.

Why do you even care so much? It's none of your business who asks me out on a date!

It felt like she wanted to prove something, and it made me sick that she succeeded. I wanted to go over there and pull her away from him.

Wounds need time to heal, Remus.

I turned my gaze away from them and looked at James, Mary, Lily, and Sirius as they played poker. Sirius was bluffing his way through, even though he had a pitiful one pair.

"You look like you could kill someone, Remus," Lily said with a dangerous smile.

I just grunted in response, and James started laughing. "I think we know who he would like to kill." He said amusedly and turned over his cards. A full house.

Mary sighed theatrically and turned her cards over. She had a straight. "Well, I had a good feeling about this." She murmured.

"Well, you're better than Sirius," I said when he revealed his cards.

"Oh, shut up, Moony. You're not even playing because you're too angry," he retorted, offended.

I shrugged, and James laughed louder.

"Don't laugh too hard; you didn't win." Lily said as she turned her cards over. A… "A royal flush?!" James gasped, and his smile disappeared. Lily, on the other hand, smiled even wider. "You owe me a favor now; that was your bet."

Sirius laughed loudly at that. "Damn, Prongs, you've created a monster!"

Yes, James had only taught Lily how to play poker today, and she had beaten them all. Even though it was mostly due to luck, it was impressive.

"As long as you're not angry because of Sni- Snape anymore," James muttered, and Lily hummed happily.

My gaze wandered through the hall and settled on a dark-haired boy. He extended his hand to Sunny. He wouldn't…

"Hey, Lily, do you want to dance?" I heard James' voice behind me. Lily giggled in response.

"Sure, Potter."

And I watched as Sunny took Luis's hand and went to the dance floor with him.

"Ohhhh, that must hurt, Moony," I heard Sirius's voice behind me. "Fuck off, Pads," I snapped back irritably.

"I guess he doesn't want to play with us, Mary," he said sarcastically.

No, I don't. I want her to be with me, not with him.

Taglist : @juleshadalittlelamb @fluffybunnyu @tendous-pretty-hair @helloitsmeeeeeee @valencia-rou @woohoney @mothermaryisdead @blackqueens01 @moonyunebi

#marauders era #marauders #remus lupin #the marauders #dead gay wizards #harry potter #sirius black #james potter #remus lupin x reader #remus lupin angst #remus lupin x you #lily evans #jily #mary macdonald #Spotify

[writinginfinite]

imagine part i

imagine: form a mental image or a concept

plot: you didn’t know what you were getting into when you turned your hobby into an actual career on f1. based on Lewis’ “imagine” tweet.

Sunday November 15, 2020

“never give up and never doubt yourself” 

Never in a million years would you think you’d reach a following by just talking into a camera about Formula 1 but here you are. It still amazes you how you created that following, yet you were damn proud of yourself! You’d rewatch races countless times to get ready to give your opinion and break down what you watched. You were a one-woman show.

Between filming and editing videos, maintaining your blog, and staying informed on all that’s Formula 1, it was a lot. This caused you to start to questioning if it was truly worth it. You were on the verge of being burnt out. Between your 9-5 and trying to balance your real love for speaking about motorsports. It slowly felt like a job and not the joy it once was.

Shortly before the 2020 Turkish Grand Prix began, you filmed a video titled “Here’s the End.” You wanted to let your followers and viewers know you appreciated all of their support, but trying to balance both wasn’t working well. You scheduled the video to be posted after the Turkish Grand Prix because you were sure you wouldn’t be filming another breakdown of a Grand Prix again. 

“The World Championship record is equaled! Lewis Hamilton wins the Turkish Grand Prix and is a 7-time champion of the world!” 

That moment, Lewis’ emotions and the culmination of everything made you question if you wanted to give up what you built. While scrolling on social media, you found a post-race interview of an emotional Lewis Hamilton saying: “Never give up and never doubt yourself”

It had been hours after the race, yet those words still rang in your head, “Never give up and never doubt yourself” Is this how you wanted all that you built up to end? Did you want a job to stop you from having the chance to have a career in Formula 1 - even though there was barely anyone who looked like you? Did you want to give up everything because of tiredness and fear?

Before you knew it, you were typing up a two-week notice and went to delete that scheduled video- “Here’s the End.” You turned on your camera and started with your regular greeting: “What a race!”

Little did you know this was just the beginning of what would be a life-changing few years.

// parts

#lewis hamilton x black reader #lewis hamilton imagine #lewis hamilton fanfic #lewis hamilton fanfiction #fanfic #lewis hamilton imagines #lewis hamilton fanfictions #fanfics #imagine by writinginfinte

[just-gotta-vent]

accidentally posted this on my main 💀

im hoping this doesn't reach anyone because it's a vent obviouslt. I need to get over this, it was nearly a year ago. silly little numbers I associate with a thing that made me develop concerning symptoms of a mental illness. now I just say "ohh well 4 has a triangle, 2 has 3 major parts, and 8 looks like it's a 3 with another three in it!!!!!!!!!!!!!1" like it's not just happening again. I've seen it before, every time I get manic over a *******************FICTIONAL********* CHARACTER I convince myself they're real. and even though I KNOW they're NOT REAL, IT KEEPS HAPPENING. I SEE NUMBERS I ASSOCIATE WITH THEM AND I JUST START PANICKING. now I have to put the radio volume on 33, or the FICTIONAL. CHARACTER. is going to come back. I can acknowledge they aren't real. is it even a delusion? I feel like i'm just faking it at this point. but if I were faking it for attention i'd go around telling everyone. I just keep it to myself, pretend nothing's happening. like I didn't get so down bad for a Tumblr sexyman that I developed concerning symptoms of whatever illness. if you read this and you do the damn homework to find out who it is, just stop. i've had plenty of mental breakdowns already. over A FICTIONAL CHTACTER. I find myself just completely avoiding anything that even references the franchise they're from. I had to unfollow a lot of people I loved the content of because that was the main thing they post about. I just wish things could be normal again. so much happened like 3 years ago (THERE IT IS!!!!!!!!!!!!) and I just ran to the nearest coping mechanism, which, in hindsight, was really really stupid. I shpuldn't have latched onto a FICTIONAL character and became dependent on my daydreams to keep me happy. because after 2 years of obsessing? that gets to you. I literally went from "ohh cool character!" -> "hot" -> "he's real and in my brain like a parasite"/ I just don't get how it got this bad. now it's happening again, 9 or so months ago I found a new character to daydream about to cope. and now, the number I associate them with, 3, Is the next big thing. before it was always 4, 2, 8. now EEEVERYTHING has to be 3. I'm writing this at 4:02 am and just seeing those numbers is getting to me. i'm just scared. because I know for now, 3 makes me feel protected. but so duid 428. I know it's going to take the same turn and become a thing I have to avoid. it's like a whole damn system with the numbers. like 428 are the negative, 369 is positive, other numbers are neutral. same amount of neutral cancels out negative, any amount of positive cancels out the negative. dude I just don't even know what's happening in my brain. I feel like it's a bigger problem than just manic obsession but I don't want to ju,p to conclusions. for the longest time I felt like they were real and in my brain, watching everything I do, etc... I thought I was getting past it but still to this day, a year after I started to view them in that bad way, I STILL see those numbers and start panicking. like I said, I hope this doesn't reach anyone. I feel stupid for even posting this. I just want things to be normal again. I can't even tell anyone about this. I know like before, my feelings are just goign to be invalidated. I don't want to be in a goddamn mental hospital either ,iv eheard all the stories. I never even told my therapists before they both resigned. I told my first one about my daaydreaming thing but I never went into detail. there's just been so much. stress of school and grades, the weight issues, the anxiety, the deaths in my family, the lack of motivation, the gender dysphoria, depression, feeling like i'm worthless. and on top of all of that? the near schizo shit i've been dealing with without telling anyone. I'm just scared.

#vent #tw vent #swearing tw #tw swearing #caps warning #cw caps #caps tw #swearing cw

[hughungrybear]

Me while watching Home School Episode 9:

1. So, is Master Dilak a former student who was successfully "re-programmed" (similar to what they did to Hugo, Jingjai, and Run)?

2. Well, Mek and Mork, I got news for you - Dad loves neither of you. He doesn't even love your Mom. Unfortunately, he is just a sh*tty parent with an overall sh*tty personality.

3. Oh, no. If locking the Fab FourTM (Maki, White, Nai, and Tibet) in detention is part of Master Champ's ploy to seed chaos with GEN6, I fear for my babies, Pennhung and Phleng. The rest, I could care less lol.

4. Why do I feel like the Headmaster (played by Cindy) would eventually go against Master Amin? I just can't figure out yet if she will switch sides to support the students or will she be a more nefarious villain? Maybe Master Amin is not as villainous as he seems to be 🤔🤔🤔

5. Mek and Mork asking the right questions: what kind of parents would send their kids to a school with no known curriculum and a million baht-per-term tuition?

6. Pennhung, my child, please also store other food groups. You need more than croissants to last this hellhole 😅

7. Oh gods. Hugo and Jingjai. I share Jean's reaction during the "fight" 😅😅😅 At least, they are still flirty with each other even though we still have no idea whatever the f— Master Amin did to them as punishment for coupling.

8. I might be riding the Fuji hate train, but gods damn. Girl knows how to end a fight lol. Sorry, Jean.

9. Nooooo, Baby Phleng 😭😭😭 Biw, don't make me smack you. <after 10 seconds> Okay, we're good. All too well because I like Pringkhing ever since The Shipper.

10. Nooooo, Baby Pennhung 😭😭😭😭 Mek, I swear, if you hurt Pennhung I WILL SMACK YOU. <after 10 seconds> Oh gods, I AM OFFICIALLY IN LOVE WITH MEK. Solidarity, ftw. Shut up, Master Champ.

11. I'm starting to think Home School is either an unconventional juvenile centre or a freaking school for future assassins (judging by Run's abilities and his morbid past of killing their dad).

12. Sorry, but if the Fab Four had started kneeling before lunch all the way to sun down, how cold is that tea that the Head Master is sipping? Or did somebody replenish the hot tea (and pastries) all through the day? And with all that tea sipping, didn't she feel the need to pee? Just curious lol.

13. I'm dying to know what Master Dilak's deal is. Also, based on MDL, this series has 18 episodes (unless they got it wrong again like in Midnight Museum). So, the class planning their escape next episode is hardly the climax, but I do hope they start revealing the truth about Home School.

On to the next episode then 😊

#home school the series #home school ep 9 #film rachanun #dew jirawat #nani hirunkit #jane ramida #love pattranite #chimon wachirawit #kay lertsittchai #jamie juthapich #aj chayapol #jj chayakorn #prigkhing sureeyares #indy thanathat #view benyapa

[monstroso]

Brother bear literally was the Disney movie you only ever saw during a disappointing visit to your friend's house for me, as was brother bear 2, which I saw first I think. The other one was a goofy movie but looking back i was only disappointed bc I was scandalized that core Disney characters ie goofy were capable of having children and having deep emotional feelings, and also I was worried that I'd turn out to be a little shit when I got older like max. Idk how I feel about it now

I'm the worst animator in the world because I've never seen A Goofy Movie, so I have no opinion. Generally I trust that it must have been alright, since most people my age seem to have extremely fond memories of it, but not having seen it I can't offer any insight. Maybe I'll watch it this week, since I seem to be on a kick what with the poll and people wanting to know my opinion on stuff (for some reason?).

As for Brother Bear though, I will not be rewatching that one. My brother is 4 years younger than me and has the 'tism worse than I do, and it was one of his comfort films. I've probably seen Brother Bear 50 times or better. I don't need to watch that one again.

There are things about Brother Bear that are. Acceptable. The animation is nice. I really like that when we see the bears from the humans' perspective they have the dull wild animal eyes, and its only when Kenai transforms that they gain the expressive Disney Animal eyes instead.

I really just. (Statement that will get me assassinated incoming in 3, 2, 1...) I don't care for Phil Collins's work on any of the Disney films. I can barely stand the man's music when it *isn't* incessantly demanding my attention in a film montage.

The bastard sneaks up on you! You'll be settling in to enjoy a nice scene transition, maybe thinking about how much you like the interplay between the two main characters, and then the vamp will start up... Slow at first. Under the dialogue. Innocently strumming along. Maybe you didn't even notice it at first. Then suddenly TELL EVERYBODY I'M ON MY WAY-

Fucking fuck! Get the hell outta here Phil, I'm tryna watch the damn movie!

This was also the first time I ever watched a movie and felt manipulated. 9 year old Ray hit the twist in the third act and was *not happy*.

The sad music, the high-angled panning around shot... AND FUCKING PHIL RIGHT THERE IN MY DAMN EAR. I knew I was being made to feel sad on purpose and little Ray was fucking pissed! When your audience of literal children can tell you're manipulating them, the wheels are falling off. This is a bum story beat in a bum narrative. Even thinking about it now is makin' me mad!

Ugh. I don't know why Brother Bear is winning that poll. Well, actually I do. It's because this website is populated by literal children who weren't even born when this movie came out so they don't know any better. I thought it would probably win but I never could have predicted how many people have such fond memories of it. Or how vocal they would be about it in the tags on my poll.

Woof. Thanks for the ask.

#asks #galushanationalrailways #the aristocourse #brother bear #disney #midsneypocalypse

[ar-lath-ma-cully]

Dandelion Wine quote prompts

1. “Bees do have a smell, you know, and if they don't they should, for their feet are dusted with spices from a million flowers.”

2. “The first thing you learn in life is you're a fool. The last thing you learn in life is you're the same fool.”

3. “I want to feel all there is to feel, he thought. Let me feel tired, now, let me feel tired. I mustn't forget, I'm alive, I know I'm alive, I mustn't forget it tonight or tomorrow or the day after that.”

4. “No matter how hard you try to be what you once were, you can only be what you are here and now.”

5. “I've always known that the quality of love was the mind, even though the body sometimes refuses this knowledge. The body lives for itself. It lives only to feed and wait for the night. It's essentially nocturnal. But what of the mind which is born of the sun, William, and must spend thousands of hours of a lifetime awake and aware? Can you balance off the body, that pitiful, selfish thing of night against a whole lifetime of sun and intellect? I don't know. I only know there has been your mind here and my mind here, and the afternoons have been like none I can remember.”

6. “For John was running, and this was terrible. Because if you ran, time ran. You yelled and screamed and raced and rolled and tumbled and all of a sudden the sun was gone and the whistle was blowing and you were on your long way home to supper. When you weren't looking, the sun got around behind you! The only way to keep things slow was to watch everything and do nothing! You could stretch a day to three days, sure, just by watching!”

7. “I like to cry. After I cry hard it’s like it’s morning again and I’m starting the day over.”

8. "Dawn, then, was a time where things changed element for element. Air ran like hot spring waters nowhere, with no sound. The lake was a quantity of steam very still and deep over valleys of fish and sand held baking under its serene vapors. Tar was poured licorice in the streets, red bricks were brass and gold, roof tops were paved with bronze. The high- tension wires were lightning held forever, blazing, a threat above the unslept houses. The cicadas sang louder and yet louder. The sun did not rise, it overflowed.”

9. “Hold summer in your hand, pour summer in a glass, a tiny glass of course, the smallest tingling sip, for children; change the season in your veins by raising glass to lip and tilting summer in.”

10. “And, after all, isn’t that what life is all about, the ability to go around back and come up inside other people’s heads to look out at the damned fool miracle and say: oh, so that’s how you see it!? Well, now, I must remember that.”

11. “A common flower, a weed that no one sees, yes. But for us, a noble thing, the dandelion.”

12. “Was there, then, no strength in growing up? No solace in being an adult? No sanctuary in life? No fleshly citadel strong enough to with-stand the scrabbling assault of midnights?”

13. “So thinking, he slept. And, sleeping, put an end to Summer, 1928.”

#sorry some are quite long #but you get the idea #it's for the vibes #I want these tattooed on my eyeballs #ray bradbury #prompts #dandelion wine

[halflingkima]

tagged by @mell0bee! Thanks!

1. Am I named after anyone?

My mom’s favorite great-aunt, my paternal grandmother, and – genuinely – the ludwig bemelmans picture book character

2. When was the last time you cried?

idk probably at a tv show or book. The last (few) memorable sob(s) I had was watching season 2 of Reservation Dogs. Every damn episode fucked me up, dude.

3. Do you have kids?

I do not

4. Do you use sarcasm?

Habitually

5. What’s the first thing you notice about people?

Probably face shape? And like... how to explain... level of social vibe? Like it’s face shape first, and then after a few seconds of conversation, I can usually place someone on the intro/extrovert scale in relation to myself.

6. Eye color?

Blue

7. Scary movies or happy endings?

As those before me point out, these are not mutually exclusive. But I do not like scary movies.

8. Any special talents?

I’m exceptionally good at keeping myself awake. Often to detriment. As a physical adult, my body has developed other ways to tell me I need to sleep, and then I must make an active choice to do so lol

9. Where were you born?

California

10. What are your hobbies?

uhh reading, writing (i claim), crochet, giffing (again, i claim)... I mean, i’ll try anything once tbh

11. Have you any pets?

I have not. But I have had dogs in the past.

12. What sports do you play/have you played?

I used to dance (ballet, tap, hip-hop, and a hot second of ballroom) and play soccer and volleyball. I only quit dance because it was too expensive. I never got good at soccer but I did really enjoy volleyball, I just didn’t have time as I got older.

13. How tall are you?

5′5″. ish. probably.

14. Favorite subject in school?

Predictably, English. Though I really enjoyed Latin as well.

15. Dream job?

Excellent question. I am taking suggestions from the crowd.

As a kid I wanted to be an author, but as I’ve aged, I’m not confident that I want that to be my Career™, you know? I’ve been interested in publishing and library science, but i’m also tempted by academia (mainly languages, linguistics, literature, and art/music history). There’s just so many things that I wanna do just a little of that i’m afraid to commit enough to get even a starting position in any of them lol.

I’m gonna tag @andrewserkis @crushpdf @wellthatswhatithought @secondreprise @waitingforarthur @sunflowremoji @bradley-uppercrust3rd (& anyone else who needs an excuse to do it ;)) no pressure as always!

#wait bee ur namesake is cool! (uhh divorced from the religious context lol) #also i have a friend abt to join a neuroscience phd! i can shoot u her tumblr but she's not on much #tag games #one of my favorite things abt these is tagging one person in a squad and watching them pass it around :))

[thalassophis]

1. Who makes the other blush all the time and who finds it adorable?

I think they both make each other blush but not really in a cute bashful courtship way. More like an angry embarrassed way cuz they are always getting on each other's damn nerves

2. Who sings in the shower?

Cammy... Lupin (bonus answer)

4. Who embarrasses the other in public with kisses and pet names?

Again they are not doing this. Lupin does this (bonus answer)

5. Who curses, and who reprimands the other for it?

Jigen is always calling them bitches and Cameron is always saying to not call them bitches

6. What small quirks do they love about each other?

Cameron likes when Jigen starts smiling at people with malice. He likes to watch Jigen clean his guns too it's kind of like watching restoration YouTubers to him or people who build computers. The way he can just take them apart so easily especially the tiny parts. I don't know if this counts as a quirk but I'm writing it anyway. Also he likes when Jigen pulls his hat down or when he sits cross-legged in a gay way.

Jigen is always lowkey impressed when Cameron can really lock in and focus on something. Even though it's usually related to creepy forensics stuff or something... He is also lowkey maybe turned on by Cameron's detached medical way of describing things sometimes. Guys they're maladjusted I don't know what else to say...

7. Who makes the other laugh more?

They both make each other laugh. Usually over stupid shit though. It's low-brow guy humor

8. Who gets jealous easier?

They're both very jealous. Jigen kind of hypocritically jealous because he's aware of his own relationship priorities and that Cameron is like... lower than the others. JUST SPEAKING HONESTLY. FROM THE HEART... sorry

Then on the flip-side Cam tends to get jealous *because* of that hypocrisy... like why can't Jigen make time for him but he can make time for his other weird bfs. And Jigen still has the audacity to get mad at him for hanging out with Fujiko or something. Like it's just not right

9. How did they know they were right for each other?

They're not right for each other they broke up :( Then got back together. Then broke up. Then maybe got back together again. I don't know I'm thinking about it

10. Who brings up the subject of kids first?

Part of Jigen might *kind of* want a family, but I think he accepted a long time ago that's not happening. Unless one of his inexplicable bastard children is dropped at his doorstep. Even then I doubt he would be the father who stepped up, realistically. He's just... well if I'm being honest he's just a little too selfish.

Cameron's not interested in having kids.

11. Who's adorable when they're sleepy, and who gets grumpy and irritable

They are both awful

12. Who's more protective?

Jigen. We already know he's a drama queen who would die for anything

13. How do they express their feelings?

For Jigen it's probably small things. He'll throw a pack of cigarettes at you or feed you a delicious sandwich. But no fucking way is he saying that he loves you or that you're his boyfriend or something unless you like interrogate this out of him

Cam's a little nervous and tends to just be clingy or overly deferential to people he likes. But once he feels a little more comfortable he's very factual to the point about it. "I like you. I'd like to do this again. I want to make sure I'm not hurting your feelings" etc This is scary to Jigen, very weird and unusual

14. Where would they go on a 3am adventure?

Anywhere. Literally anywhere... but probably some shitty Denny's or like dangling upside down from a rope over a pit of snakes

17. Who picks flowers for the other?

Jigen then he gets too scared to give them to anyone and eats them or something

18. Which one wears the "I'm with stupid" t-shirt

Both. Pointing at eahc other. Or Lupin if he stands in the middle

19. Who's the better dancer?

Jigen I think. I think he has it in him

20. Who infodumps and who listens with heart eyes?

Again we all have autism here sir

[racingliners]

F1 Re-Watch 2013: Round 15 - Japan

I swear I'm going to finish this before the 2024 season starts

The festive season just happened and we are now weeks away from the first launch of the 2024 cars (which bruh what is the passing of time).

So I'm keeping my pre-race blurb to a minimum, which is fine because apart from Seb winning and I think Grosjean briefly leading the race, I don't remember much.

the massive "We <3 Seb" banner in the grandstands 🥺

Okay: starting grid overview! Webber on pole, Seb P2. A win for the Martian girlies (gn). Lewis P3, Alonso P8, Jenson P10 and Jev P17

the Bernie hand puppets dvhfdjbvhfdbhsfjbhf

All bar Ricciardo and Pic starting on the mediums as opposed to the hards. (Though again this was in ye olden days when the Top 10 had to start on their quali tyre)

[Formation Lap]: oooh thermal tyre cam

and the mad dash of mechanics and engineers back to the garages

god I get whiplash now seeing Domenicali on the Ferrari garage now even though I know he was TP at that point. Safe to say I'm not enjoying him as F1 CEO

A wild Sam Bird sighting next to Ross Brawn (back when he was a Merc development driver)

cars lining up on the grid, here we goooooo

[Start/Lap 1]: Not Grosjean taking the lead way before turn 1

aaaaaaand backmarker nonsense at turn 1

nooooooo Lewis dropping down the grid

oh god Seb's saying he might have front wing damage, if him and Lewis made contact is2g

[Lap 2]: Right, top 5 is Grosjean, Webber, Seb, Rosberg and Massa

and Jenson is clinging onto P10, woo!

yup, Lewis had a rear right puncture, and now the rest of the carcass has come off 😭😭😭

He stops for the hards and his now plum last

[Lap 3]: rest of the race be nice to me PLEASE

I think the main reason why I don't remember much of this race is bc I would have watched it at my friends house bc she had Sky so it would have been 5 or 6am 🥲

argh, start reply and there's the tiniest bit of contact between Seb and Lewis but it was enough to give Lewis a puncture. pain.

[Lap 4]: And a Grosjean fastest lap for funsies

damn, Bono outright saying over the radio what Lap Lewis is pitting on, that never happens but I guess bc he wasn't in contention for the win at this point trying to hide strategy doesn't matter

[Lap 5]: Respectfully Brundle I don't want to hear you try and figure out what Seb's doing, let him cook.

Oh Lewis has floor damage too fml.

[Lap 7]: For once, Seb has listened to Rocky and has dropped to 2 seconds behind Mark

Also Jenson out of the points as Raikkonen takes P10 😭

Apart from Seb this race is currently an attack on me personally

[Lap 8]: and there's Massa being told to let Alonso by

Lewis in the pits to retire the car 😭😭😭

[Lap 9]: Jenson pits for hards, it's stupidly early so he's probably going to be on a three stop

[Lap 10]: a few other cars are pitting as well so it's probably going to be a three stop race

"Engine 21, engine 2-1" I'm having Malaysia flashbacks (that was Mark's engineer Simon Rennie)

[Lap 12]: And in pits Webber! Most likely for hards

"Button's really flying along nicely!" INJECT IT!!

and slowly the race starts to turn round for me

JENSON FASTEST LAP! STOP THE COUNT!!

I've never said anything bad about F1 ever I swear

[Lap 13]: and Grosjean pits form the lead, also for hard tyres. He also comes out ahead of Webber

so WOO Seb in the lead!

oops, Rosberg had an unsafe release. Mercedes' not good quite bad 2013 Japanese GP

[Lap 14]: "When is Vettel going to come in?" Ted sounding very concerned for Seb's strategy.

[Lap 15]: Ah, and in he pits! He also has hards on and has come out in P3

"He's having quite a scruffy afternoon." The fact that Seb being in P3 and going wide once and having one lock up shown on camera counts as scruffy is frankly hilarious. That's how good he was in 2013

(that's my goat!!!!)

Also drive through pen for Rosberg. Merc's very bad rather terrible 2013 Japanese GP.

(when was the last time we saw a drive through pen be used in current F1 btw???? It feels like forever)

[Lap 16]: Seb being 4 tenths faster than Grosjean and Mark in one sector alone, this is the good place

[Lap 17]: A Seb fastest lap 🥰

[Lap 18]: What is a polar bear (Ricciardo in a Toro Rosso) doing in Arlington, Texas? (P4)

ohhhhh he hasn't stopped yet nvm

[Lap 19]: There is a queue of at least three cars behind him however

[Lap 20]: Alonso gets past Massa, but the Ricciardo train has now gained another few cars

It goes all the way down to 10th djbhdfjbhfxb

WHAT THE FUCK Hulkenberg went down the inside of 130R and made it stick.

[Lap 21]: And Alonso gets past him on the main straight.

[Lap 23]: "Multi 3, Multi 3" What does it mean what does it all mean????

I legit hear multi-anything and my eye twitches

[Lap 24]: And a Webber fastest lap! he's either prepping for his second stop or also got triggered by the word multi and bolted

also also, Seb has to make it lap 33 to make the 2 stop strategy work

FUCK Jenson had a slow stop

When does Seb take the race lead and keep it I need it now

[Lap 25]: Like the way Grosjean is still leading and it being pretty much legit, wild

A JEV FASTEST LAP?????

Well thank you racing gods

[Lap 26]: And Mark makes his second stop bang in the middle of the pit window

[Lap 27]: Seb being told he's racing Grosjean and not Mark, inch resting

and it sounds like Lotus are trying to stretch his strategy out to the 2 stop

[Lap 28]: the gap between Seb and Romain is now 1.5 seconds 👀

"Put pressure on Grosjean" Bastard Seb about to be unleashed

[Lap 30]: and in comes Grosjean for I assume is his final stop. He takes on another set of hards and comes out in P3

[Lap 31]: Seb needs to eek out a tiny bit of lap time to have a pit stop gap over Romain, which will be slightly difficult since Grosjean is on the new set of tyres

oh god not Perez having a slow stop too. McLaren be suffering

[Lap 32]: and Ricciardo nets us our third drive through penalty of the race for leaving the track and gaining an advantage.

I've seen more drive through pens in this race than I have in the past 5 years

[Lap 33]: and now everyone bar Rosberg, Vergne and Pic is on the hard tyres

[Lap 34]: Massa gets the fourth drive through pen of the day for speeding in the pitlane

somehow my Grandma will get a drive through pen despite being 91 and not having a driving licence

[Lap 36]: Seb apparently has a new set of mediums left, interesting.gif

and his gap to Grosjean is still around 20 seconds when he needs 22 in theory, but if he's going to be on the faster and fresher tyre on the end he maybe doesn't need to have a pit stop gap to him

[Lap 37]: And Seb pits!

He takes on another set of hards and comes out in third.

"That's Grosjean in front of you, go and get him." Okay now we're going to unlock bastard Seb. Cheers Rocky.

[Lap 38]: Haven't done a top 5 overview in ages: it's Webber, Grosjean, Seb, Hulkenberg and Alonso

What is a polar bear (Hulkenberg in a Sauber) doing in Arlington, Texas? (P4)

[Lap 40]: Seb is 6 tenths behind Grosjean, with a fastest lap to boot

*jaws music plays in the background*

[Lap 41]: And Seb takes P2 on the main straight!!!!

He is 14 seconds behind Mark who still needs to stop

[Lap 42]: Meanwhile Jenson has made his final stop and is back out in 14th place 🥲

[Lap 43]: Aaaaaand in comes Mark for his final pit stop

ooh for the medium tyres! and he comes out in third place

meanwhile Jenson overtakes Sutil for... P13

so the top 5 is now: Seb, Grosjean, Webber, Hulkenberg and Alonso

ouch, Perez got a rear puncture from contact with Rosberg

[Lap 45]: Webber fastest lap

He's about 5 and a bit seconds behind Seb 👀

[Lap 46]: Alonso gets past Hulkenberg for P4!!

[Lap 47]: Grosjean barely staying in P2 going into turn 1

[Lap 48]: And still Grosjean is ahead going into the first corner

[Lap 49]: 🚨5 laps remaining klaxon!!🚨

and, you guessed it, Grosjean is still in P2. Mark just isn't getting the traction he need out of the final chicane to be able to overtake him on the main straight

[Lap 50]: aaaand now Grosjean and Webber are coming into traffic

1 on 1 battles are so fascinating to watch unfold when your faves aren't involved

[Lap 51]: The way Webber is literally on Grosjean's gearbox now

[Lap 52]: of course Webber took P2 driving into turn 1 for the drama.

It was a saucy move ngl.

[Lap 53]: FINAL LAP!!!

ahem, TV feed please show me my boy

(not that Gutierrez v Rosberg isn't important. I just want to see Seb)

There he is!!!!!

[Finish]: And Seb wins the Japanese GP!!!!!!!!!!! 🥳🍾

P2 - Webber, P3 - Grosjean, P4 - Alonso, P5 - Raikkonen, P6 - Hulkenberg, P7 - Gutierrez (in what was his first ever F1 points!!), P8 - Rosberg, P9 - Jenson and P10 - Massa

Well that was a bit of a slow burn race, but it was really fun to see the 2 stop vs the 3 stop play out and have a proper on track battle between the top 3 cars.

Next race - India 🥹

#F1 re watch #f1 2013 re watch

[xxcupcakexcultxx]

1-15? :D

1. Are you more Scene or Emo?

I’d say more scene tbh

2. Were you ever into Never Shout Never?

I was not, sadly! XD I only ever listened to one of their songs (Damn This Shit Gets Old) on a fairly regular basis back in the good old days of 2011

3. Fringes or Coontails?

RACCTAILS HAVE MY HEART but my hair is too short to wear them and I don’t think I could actually pull them off well either ;n;

4. Bright and colourful hair, or dark black hair?

I’ve had both, I was complimented when it was multicoloured xD I wish it was colourful again

5. Gloomy bear or Hello Kitty?

ACK- don’t make me choose >n< Gloomy bear

6. How often do you shop at a HotTopic?

Never lmao, I don’t know whether there are any physical stores in the UK and my agoraphobia wouldn’t let me go even if there was one fairly close to me

7. How many band posters do you have up?

Currently none because they keep fucking falling down LMAO but I’ve got an OK Computer (Radiohead) poster, a With_Teeth (Nine Inch Nails) poster and a Paramore poster. I’ve also got a little OK Computer one which for whatever reason won’t stay up despite being small enough >:( around the same size I’ve got an autographed picture of Trent Reznor (it’s not hand signed tho, I wish)

8. Have you watched Invader Zim? If so, who’s your favourite character?

I have, I’ve got all the episodes on my phone. Probably Zim himself

9. Opinion on Gerard Way?

I don’t know an awful lot about them but they’re certainly very admirable. My friends showed me pictures and videos of the MCR concerts they went to and Gerard and the band just looked so happy. It does give you hope

10. Waffles or Tacos?

Waffles; tacos are messy

11. Have you played Gaia?

Gaiaonline? A grand total of once or twice

12. Dear Maria or Check Yes Juliet?

ARGH STOP MAKING ME CHOOSE LMAO aaaaaaaa fine Check Yes Juliet

13. Do you drink Monster?

I can’t anymore because caffeine now makes me panic, but back in the day I did. In the year before the caffeine panic started I really loved Monarch. Even before that, I preferred the juice and punch flavours

14. Have you had a scene phase before?

Not quite, no. I used to wear alt style clothes anyway but I wasn’t properly scene, or Emo for that matter lol. My sister did though

15. Do you make Kandi?

I DO <3 I have… I want to say about 40-50 pieces? I haven’t counted recently LOL

Thank you for the ask Anon!! (Sorry it took so long orz) I hope you’re well and I wish you the absolute best!! <333

#Rez.txt #answered asks #anon ask #ask games

[keefwho]

August 03

5:33 PM

On some level I was telling myself that my anxiety was alright. I did all the work and I’m good to go. Obviously that can’t be true. Today I’m realizing it, and dealing with some of it right now. I feel stressed because I feel like I have to hang out with people tonight and I might just not want to, because I’m afraid. I’ll do the right thing and take this time for myself like I should, but I don’t like letting people down. I know at least 1 person who always says he understands but really doesn’t, and likely suffers because I need this me time. I don’t like that. 

I keep feeling unsafe but I know I’m not. Its REALLY hard to just let go of my body telling me there’s a threat, even though I know there isn’t one. It feels so silly. I just want to enjoy my night. I need to be compassionate towards myself though. This really isn’t my fault. Its a runaway thought/reaction process that’s evolved and been unchecked for years. Of course it’s going to be strong and hard to deal with. 

I should recount everything that makes up these thoughts and feelings. Write down everything that I don’t like and need to work on. At my core I feel like I’m overdue to become sick. It’s been 12ish years since I have been. I feel like I SHOULD get sick. Every day I watch for symptoms. If I detect one, no matter how small, the snowball cycle of thinking starts until I’m in a panic. I’ve been real good about that part lately, I haven’t been panicking. But the problem in general rests on my mind at all times. I started doing things I haven’t done in years. I feel my lymph nodes every couple hours. I take my temperature once or twice a day. It can help to have proof that nothing is wrong, but the act of doing these things is fueling the problem. I feel unsafe leaving my home with no quick way back. I’m scared to commit to social time or livestreams because on some level I’m ‘stuck’, in the sense that I can’t suddenly leave without letting someone down or making someone worry. 

I think I should pick up that book I was reading again, I kinda stopped halfway through. I shouldn’t have. 

9:17 PM

I can’t say I feel alone anymore, but I did for a long time. I watched a video today that covered something I think is very relevant to me. I felt alone because I wasn’t finding people who could share their feelings in a healthy way. Basically people that don’t hide who they are from others. Im lucky to have found a solid few that I really connect with and appreciate. 

11:18 PM

Just stop THINKING. Most of my problems come from OVERthinking. I just want to be smoothbrained sometimes so the problems slide right off. 

I’ve just been kinda ADHD lately. I gotta actively force myself to focus on specific tasks and plans. Things I know are better for me, vs things that only feel better. 

11:30 PM

Still thinking whether or not I should be addressing some things that might be better off suppressed? With how much it’s been bothering me lately, I feel like I have to. I greatly fear the consequences though. Everything could be fine if I just, don’t. FUck.

11:42 PM

Damn this journal being public, I’m not afraid to rant to strangers but who knows who could be reading this that I actually KNOW. No matter, this is about me documenting my personal problems for my own sake. Im going to assume I am safe. 

I think accepting my fear as an emotion led to accepting basically all my feelings, which has been very enriching and interesting. The issue I’m facing is that I’m starting to consider romance again. I’ve been adamant about being single since high school since having these kinds of feelings never ever went well. But to be fair, I was a cringy emotional high schooler. I still believe in being single, in the sense that a partner shouldn’t be a requirement. I want to be able to stand on my own. I am beginning to see, however, that it could be a very nice thing to have. I used to be repulsed by couples or romance, but I honestly think it’s because I was jealous. I did want something like that, but I knew I was in no place to actually uphold that kind of dynamic. But now I’m starting to view myself as a dynamic and growing person. Like I’m getting to know MYSELF for once. And what I’ve learned is that I am once again open to the idea of becoming more intimate with someone. Maybe not DATING, that’s a whole can of worms on it’s own. But doing the kinds of mushy things couples usually do. I don’t want to get lost though, my main goal is still to be a pillar for myself. I want to operate effectively as my own entity, but with some help occasionally. THATS been the real issue here. I’m becoming obsessed with these feelings like a kid with new toys. It’s hard to reign it in, but it probably will on it’s own after a little while. It doesn’t help that I haven’t really had an outlet for this kind of thing. How do I get this out??

#journal #anxiety

[queen-haq]

Fic: A Woman Scorned - Part 17

Fic: A Woman Scorned - Part 17

Pairing: Billy Russo x Reader

Rating: R for language and smut.

Words: ~3300 words.

Summary: You’ve been sleeping with Billy Russo for a few months now. Knowing his aversion to emotional commitments, you’re satisfied with your clandestine arrangement until you catch him having dinner with Dinah Madani one night. Then it finally dawns on you. It’s not that he doesn’t want to commit, he just doesn’t want to commit to *you*.

Billy may think he knows you, but he has no idea what he’s just lost…

Part 1   Part 2   Part 3   Part 4   Part 5   Part 6   Part 7   Part 8   Part 9   Part 10   Part 11   Part 12   Part 13   Part 14   Part 15  Part 16

Part 17

Billy couldn’t stop gawking at you, wondering how it was possible you grew more beautiful each time he saw you. The red wrap dress you were wearing accentuated all your curves, and it took every bit of willpower he had not to rip it off of you and fuck you senseless right then and there. Unfortunately, he had to behave himself. Caravan was a pretty bouji place that had recently been labelled as one of the hottest restaurants in Manhattan and he had to pull a few strings to get a last-minute reservation for tonight. But seeing the smile on your face when you realized this was where you were dining had been completely worth all the hassle.

As the hostess guided the two of you to your table, he noticed a few assholes at the bar admiring you from afar. Immediately he snaked his arm around your waist to draw you in closer. You were his. If he could he’d pluck out every one of those fuckers’ eyes so they never made the mistake of looking at you again. Better yet, he’d keep you locked behind closed doors. Of course you wouldn’t agree to anything like that because you were too goddamn independent for your own good.

“What’s wrong?” you asked, taking a seat at your designated table.

Billy’s attention returned to your face as he followed suit, his gaze inhaling you in. “You look too hot. Too many assholes staring at you,” he grumbled.

The worried look on your face was replaced with a beaming smile, one that made his cock twitch.

“You’re being ridiculous” you remarked, scanning the menu.

His eyes drifted down to your chest, the swell of your soft, supple breasts just begging to be kissed and licked by him.

“Stop staring at my boobs, Billy,” you chastised even as a small smile graced your lips. “This is a proper first date. You can’t just ogle me like that. You have to behave like a gentleman.”

He quirked his eyebrow. “Sweetheart, I’ve never been that.”

“Well, try,” you ordered.

The waitress came by with the bottle of red wine you’d requested and poured some in both of your glasses. He noticed the redhead giving him a friendly smile, her green eyes lingering on him for a second too long. Fine, yeah, she may have been hot but she wasn’t you. No one was. So while he would have happily slipped her his number in the past, now the idea of being with someone who wasn’t you no longer excited him.

Once she left, he took the opportunity to move a few inches closer to you. What he really wanted was to get on his knees and bury his head between your legs, but something told him eating you out in in the crowded restaurant wouldn’t go over very well with you.

“I think she likes you.”

Hand propped on the back of your chair, he started playing with your hair. “Who?”

“Our waitress. She didn’t look at me once, her eyes were on you the entire time.”

He leaned in, ecstatic at the thought of you acting possessive. Even though you’d confessed to having feelings for him, Billy still worried you were ready to bolt at any moment. To see you jealous meant you genuinely cared and he didn’t have to worry about you leaving him. “She’s not my type. I have my eyes on someone else.”

You made a show of looking around the restaurant. “Oh, is Madani here too?”

“Funny,” he retorted, taking your hand in his.

“Your ginger’s lucky. I’m dressed way too nice or I’d take my knife and stab her with it.”

He smirked. “You’re vicious when you’re jealous.”

“I’m not jealous. I just don’t like bad service.”

“Bullshit.”

“Billy, you’re hot. You know that. All the women here are checking you out. If I freaked out every time someone did that, I’d have a breakdown.”

He wanted to destroy the fucking world at the thought of someone even looking at you but apparently you were simply ambivalent about him. “So it’s that easy for you? Your brain tells you to turn off a feeling and your heart just does it?” Even to his own ears he sounded bitter. “Guess you’re not all that invested in me.”

Your eyebrow quirked up, apparently surprised by his edgy tone. “Do you want me to go nuts?”

“Just want you to give a damn.”

“You think I don’t?” you snapped. “Every time she looks at you I want to tear her hair out. Even though the rational part of me knows she’s probably just flirting with you because it’s part of her job or she’s hoping for big tips. Or maybe she really does want to fuck you. Either way, I want to punch her across the face. Happy?” You gulped down your wine.

Grinning, he squeezed your hand. “Then why not just tell me that? Why act like you don’t care?”

The agitated expression on your face was replaced with tenderness, your eyes soft. “Just because I don’t have a jealous fit doesn’t mean I don’t care. I just…” You exhaled a sigh, and he sensed this was difficult for you. “I express my emotions differently than you.”

“I noticed. You put on an act while holding everything in.”

“Yeah, I guess.”

“But I want you, the real you, not the version everyone else sees.”

“It’s not that easy, Billy.”

He brought your palm to his lips. “I’d never told anyone about my mother.”

“You didn’t tell me either,” you pointed out.

“You found out anyway, and I’m so fucking glad you did. Otherwise I wouldn’t have realized I could be real with you.” He placed a tender kiss on your skin. “I don’t want to hide anything from you, Y/N.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.”

“Then tell me about William Rawlins.”

Your request gave him pause, his eyes roaming over your face. He’d taken painstaking measures to keep his partnership with Rawlins a secret yet you’d discovered it. “What do you want to know?”

“He gave you a lot of money.”

“I earned that money,” he said in a defensive tone. “He and I were partners for a while. Then he died.”

“You went to a lot of trouble to hide your connection to him.”

“You found out about it though.”

You shrugged your shoulders. “I’m good at what I do.”

“Yeah, too good,” he muttered. He released your hand, watching you intently. “So what do you want to know?”

You leaned in closer, your voice barely above a whisper. He was momentarily distracted by the sensation of your tits pressed against him but he forced himself to concentrate.

“What happened to Rawlins, did you have anything to do with it?”

Billy took a swig of his wine. “Why do you think that?”

You quirked your eyebrow at him. “Knifed by someone in the parking lot. They never found the guy who did it.”

“He had a lot of enemies,” he pointed out.

“Okay, so maybe I was wrong.”

He studied you for several seconds, trying to decide if he should take the leap or not. “You’re not wrong.”

Realization dawned on your face as the truth set in. “Why did you do it?”

“You sure you want to know?”

“I’m asking, aren’t I?”

So he told you, about Operation Cerberus, his role in it and the money he earned, how he’d eliminated Rawlins a year ago when the prick plotted to take out Frank and his family. To this day Frank didn’t know about Billy’s partnership with Rawlins or how close he came to dying and he intended to keep it that way.

Throughout his confession his eyes were glued to your face, gauging your reactions. The part of him determined to do anything to be a success, the one who didn’t let society’s morals get in the way of his ambitions, would never be accepted by his closest friends. Despite the myriad of reasons to have kept that side of himself hidden, he didn’t want to do that with you. Because as risky as it was to be so open with you, it was also exhilarating. There was no one in this world he’d ever been this honest with and that kind of intense connection with you was addictive. He wanted you to know everything about him, all of the dark and vicious thoughts that ran through his head, the burning ambition that kept pushing him forward. He wanted you to know him inside and out and he wanted the same from you.

Before he could prod you to speak your mind the server came by with your dishes, setting your meals on the table. The redhead took her time, all the whilst your gaze was focused on the table, avoiding his. Billy’s heart started to pound in his chest, he was suddenly filled with doubt. Had he made a mistake in telling you the truth? Did he just completely fuck this up? Every second the goddamn redhead lingered at the table felt like an eternity when all he wanted was to shake you out of your stupor.

The second the server left, he moved in on you. “Are you gonna say something?”

You finally looked at him, your forehead burrowed. “We need to do a better job of hiding your history with Rawlins. I found it, that means someone else can too.”

“You gonna help me with that?”

You shook your head ‘yes’. “Yeah, I have to. You need me.”

“What I did doesn’t bother you?”

You exhaled a heavy sigh. “Of course it does, but there’s nothing I can do about it. You’ve seen me at my worst and you didn’t judge me. I won’t do that to you either. Besides, when the universe deals you a shitty hand you’ve got to find other ways to even out your odds.”

A strange feeling of warmth flooded over him, compelling him to angle forward and kiss you on the lips.

You pulled away a second later, smiling at him as you rubbed the corner of his mouth. “This lipstick isn’t kiss-proof.”

“I don’t care.” Wicked visions of you flashed through his mind. Your bold red lips wrapped around his cock, sucking him off the way he liked it. His cum spread over your tits, your neck, your lips. The taste of your sweet, delicious cunt on his tongue as he fucked you with his mouth. The heat of your tongue against his as he rammed into you over and over-

“Stop looking at me like that,” you warned.

“Then stop looking so hot,” he snarked.

You smiled, biting down on your bottom lip.

It blew his mind how sweet and shy you were when he paid you compliments, like you didn’t expect that from him. Obviously he needed to fix that, because you deserved to know how insanely beautiful you were all the time.

“Has Anvil been okay without Rawlins?” you asked, taking a bite out of your butternut squash ravioli.

Swallowing his steak, he wiped his mouth with a napkin. “It was tough for a while but we’ve been doing pretty well the last few months.”

“You should be proud of what you’ve accomplished, Billy. You took a big risk going into business for yourself and you made it work. That’s amazing. I could never do that.”

Billy’s insides radiated with happiness. Other than Curtis and Frank he never really had people who genuinely believed in him so to have you cheering him on was exalting. Especially considering you were great at what you did and he had so much respect for you.

He poured himself and you more wine before reaching for your hand again. “I think you could. You’d make a shitload of money if you freelanced.”

You shook your head ‘no’. “No way, I’m too much of a coward to take a risk like that.” You took a sip of your wine. “Plus I get to go to Paris for work.”

“Or you could go to Paris on vacation and not work.”

“Then I’d have to pay for it,” you pointed out, grinning. “When you grow up the way I did, you learn to appreciate free things.”

Your enthusiasm was infectious, he couldn’t hep but smile back. A part of him was hoping this would be the perfect opening for you to talk more about your childhood, about everything you went through, because he desperately wanted you to trust him as much as he trusted you with his secrets.

“I’ll be there for two weeks,” you continued, oblivious to his disappointment. “We’re going to scout out locations for the new branch and-”

“We?” Billy interjected.

You cast him a quick glance. “Roger’s coming with me on the trip.”

The jealousy that struck him felt like a swift kick to his gut. Images of you and that goddamn bastard traipsing around and enjoying romantic date nights in Paris assaulted his mind. Agitated, he pulled his hand from yours. “I bet that fucker can’t wait to be alone with you.”

“Billy, come on. You can’t be serious.”

“How would you feel if I took off with someone who wanted to fuck me?”

“First of all, he doesn’t want me.”

His jaw clenched with frustration as he glared at you. “I’ve seen the way he looks at you. He’s thought about fucking you.”

“Even if he does, I don’t want him.” You reached out to cup his face, your voice so soft and tender in your attempts to placate him that he momentarily forgot how upset he was. “You really think I’d jeopardize what we have for a fling with Roger? I wouldn’t do that.”

“Then don’t go. Turn him down.”

Irritation flickered over your face, he could tell you were done coddling him. “Billy, you have no right to ask me that. I’d never interfere with your work.”

Underneath all that jealousy he knew you were right. As much as he despised the idea of you going away to Paris with another guy, he couldn’t demand that you not go on work trips. If you did that to him, it would annoy the fuck out of him. Yet despite his rational side recognizing he was asking for too much, he couldn’t help but feel bitter. “That asshole’s gonna make a move on you, I know it.”

“What if he does? What do you think is gonna happen?”

Hs eyes met yours, urgently seeking some kind of validation from you. “You tell me.”

“Do you think I’m going to sleep with him?”

He flinched. “Don’t talk about fucking another guy, please. You’re gonna make me lose my appetite.”

You took his hand and placed it over your left breast, probably to distract him from all the disgusting images that were running through his brain. “I wanted you so badly and even then it took me like a month to fuck you. Trust me, I’m not going to sleep with him when I’m not even attracted to him.”

Spotting the earnestness in your eyes, the knot in his stomach finally loosened. Roger may have had a hard-on for you but Billy knew you felt nothing for the fucker. He’d noticed that even at the night of the gala. So that meant he had to trust you, there was no reason not to. “Call me every night when you’re there,” he grumbled.

“Every night? You’re probably going to start blocking my calls,” you laughed.

He booped your nose. “Every. Fucking. Night.”

You beamed. “Fine.” A wicked glint flashed in your eyes, a seductive smile on your lips as you slowly moved his hand lower, his fingers now on your nipple. “Hey, just ‘cause you’re not there with me doesn’t mean we can’t have fun.”

He stroked your nipple over the fabric of your dress, enjoying how the nub hardened under his touch, the way your breath hitched in your throat when he continued his ministrations. With his other hand he tucked your hair behind your ear, whispering to you. “Phone sex is alright, but nothing beats this.” His tongue curved along the shell of your ear, and you trembled against him. “Right?”

The waitress seemed to come out of nowhere this time to ask how your meals were, and you jumped back. Disappointed, he sighed.

“Food was great. Thank you,” you replied, smiling stiffly at the redhead.

“Can I get you anything else?”

“Privacy would be great,” Billy muttered.                                                            

You kicked him under the table. “Dessert menu?”

“Sure. I’ll bring it right over,” the waitress said, taking your plates away.  

“I’ll give you all the sugar you want once we get outta here,” he murmured seductively, caressing your thigh.

You giggled, rolling your eyes. “That’s a terrible line!” You took his hand and removed it from your thigh. “Billy, I’m not sleeping with you tonight.”

“Why not?”                                                      

“Because it’s our first date and I don’t put out on the first date.”

“Now that’s a terrible line,” he fired back, mimicking your earlier tone.

“Also, we already had sex this morning.”

“So? I’m greedy. I can’t get enough of you.” There was that shy smile of yours again, and he reached out to give you a sweet peck on the cheek. “You blush every time I tease you.”

“I do?”

“Yeah, it’s adorable.”

Your cheeks grew even more red. “I’m not used to it from you. A part of me still thinks you’re bullshitting me.”

Billy stiffened. “Really?”

“I know you’re not playing me,” you reassured. “It’s on me, not you. I just have a hard time accepting when good things happen.”

The waitress came by with the dessert menu. He briefly glanced at it before ordering a slice of pecan pie while you ordered a piece of chocolate cake.

As soon as the redhead left, he broached the topic with you again. “I’m not gonna hurt you, babe. You have to believe that.”

You didn’t look at him, your eyes fixed somewhere on his chest. “I do. You were so pissed off at me last night. I honestly expected you to hit me because you were so angry. But you didn’t.”

It made him sick to his stomach that you actually thought him capable of hitting you. It hadn’t even occurred to him that you would worry about that, but of course you would. With your childhood it made perfect sense, he was just a fucking idiot who hadn’t realized how much it still impacted you. “I’m never gonna lay a hand on you. I swear.” His eyes locked with yours, hoping you can sense how much he meant those words.

“I believe you.”

His voice was insistent, his gaze boring into you. “Why did you think I would?”

Your eyes wavered from his eyes to his lips for a long time, the atmosphere thick with tension. Your facial expressions ran the gamut of painful emotions, from uncertainty to fear to sheer panic.

It finally sank in that maybe the reason you were keeping the truth from him had noting to do with if you trusted him or not. Maybe you didn’t want to be assaulted by memories from the past that caused you so much pain. The last thing he wanted was for you to experience that hell again. Regretting his demanding tone, his hands caressed down the length of your arms. “You don’t have to tell me, It’s okay.”

Your eyes brimmed with aching vulnerability as you looked up at him. “I want to… I just… give me some time, okay?” You pressed your lips against his, giving him the softest, sweetest kiss. “I’ve been looking forward to tonight for so long, I don’t want to ruin it, you know?”

His heart felt full, his mind reeling with wonderment at the thought of you truly reciprocating his feelings. His arms wrapped around you as you sank into him, burying your face in his chest. His fingers stroked the back of your hair, murmuring soft, soothing words to you. Somewhere in the distance he heard the server’s voice trying to interject, but he didn’t give a damn.  He was yours and you were his and nothing was going to ruin that. Nothing.

Part 18

A/N - I realize not much happened in this chapter but I just reallly wanted to write a dialogue heavy part where they simply get to know and enjoy each other. I think they’ve earned some fluff. LOL.

As always, thank you for your kind words of encouragement. Please let me know your thoughts.

Tumblr tag list:

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#billy russo x reader #billy russo #ben barnes #billy russo x you #the punisher #a woman scorned

[hughungrybear]

Me watching Dangerous Romance Ep. 8:

1. I don't trust Saifah. Sailom, apparently, also does not trust his own brother. At this rate, only Grandma trusts Saifah 😅

2. Sorry, as an Asian, a 65/100 score in an exam is atrocious lol. My mum would have disowned me if she sees that score on my paper. 😂😂😂😂

3. I pretty much doubt you'll get any sleep if you give in, Sailom lol. Kang might get a 100 in that test, but you'll probably end up sleep-deprived 😂😂😂😂

4. Oh. My. Gawd. Puppy dog eyes Kanghan, ACTIVATED. 😅😅😅

5. But, but, but Kang isn't sleeping lol 😂😂😂😂😂 Nobody will sleep tonight, I guess 😂😂😂😂

6. Saifah knows his little bro so well 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

7. Technically, Sailom did not lie - it is the sound of the "wind" hiding his windmill 😂😂😂

8. Yeah, where is my GuyNava ship??? C'mon set sail already 😭😭😭😭 Looks like they will go on a date instead of a fight. Pimfah and the gang were like, "WTH happened?" 😂😂😂

9. Ooof. Looks like Kanghan broke his promise to Sailom to be home by 8PM. 😓 Why though? 🤔🤔🤔

10. Aaah, Sailom. Why did you listened to Saifah??? You should have listened to Kang's explanation first.

11. So, it was Guy's fault 😑😑 Sailom, you really need to work on your listening skills lol

12. Pimfah silently cheering the KangSailom ship 😭😭😭

13. Doctor, why didn't you just give Grandma the medicine directly? 😅😅😅 Also, what's with Kang's dad? It looks like he doesn't like Saifah.

14. Ooooh, Grandma Ging is too nice. I really do hope Saifah is not planning anything nefarious against Kang's family. 😣

15. Sailom, just apologise 😭😭😭 <after 5 seconds> Oh, good. He did. 😊 Also, Sailom telling Kang to stop burdening himself with Sailom's money problems is just 👉👈. Kang has dreams and Sailom will not let himself be an obstacle to it. At this point, my cheeks hurt from grinning too much because of all the sweetness 😅

16. Sailom exhibits the true characteristic of a type-A student - being anal on schedules and appointments. Because by gods, Sailom will ensure that Kang WILL REACH HIS GOALS OF EXCELLING IN ACADEMICS AND SPORTS 😂😂😂

17. Apparently, Kang is more thirtsy for a drink than a kiss 😂😂😂

18. I just remembered the preview from last ep. Damn, Kang's dad just keep on demolishing Kang's motivation to improve himself. The boy trained and studied like there's no tomorrow for a fair tryouts and Dad just goes ahead and bribes the coach. Gods dammit.

19. My GuyNava ship is sailiiiiiing!!! Saiiiiliiiiiiing!!!! 🥰🥰🥰

20. Looks like Kang overtrained himself. Maybe that's why Dad came to the "rescue". But I still don't think it's in Kang's best interest to achieve things he didn't put a serious effort on.

21. Oh, Dad did not trust Saifah. Appropriately so. However, yeah, I don't think Saifah will steal when he is the only person (aside from Sailom) that would be accused of stealing in that household. The question is, was the watch really stolen though?

22. Grandma is no fool. I think it was already established when she punished Kang when he was still bullying Sailom. I guess this is the start of Saifah also changing for the better.

23. What is happening? 😅😅😅 Nava is obviously counting on Max and Auto trying to stop the "fight" from happening. I mean, why else would he count "two point five, two point six..." instead of "three"? Lol Just kiss! 🤣🤣🤣🤣 Look at Max and Auto, they are bffs already.

24. Sailom just keeps on acting like a blushing bride in this series 😂😂😂😂

25. Oh, that just hurt my heart - Kang asking Sailom if he is no longer a spoiled rich brat in Sailom's eyes. It hurts my heart even more thinking of what is about to be revealed about Kang's dad and the football coach 🤬🤬

26. Oh. At least, Kang's dad figured out that Saifah did not take the watch. However, the bg music is pretty ominous...the fvck. Ahhh, noooo. It feels like an effing trap for Saifah. What is happening???

27. My heart hurts again. Gods damn Kang's dad. 🤬🤬🤬 Kang asking all the right questions and Dad just blurting out the effing truth that he does not believe in his own son's abilities.

In this episode, Sailom's loveliness shines brightly. He keeps reassuring Kang that he will stay beside him regardless of what happens in the future. Next episode, the boyfies will go on a trip and Kang will see if Sailom feelings will change if he no longer has any money (since Dad froze his account). Dad is still a fvcker, imo.

I know Grandma Ging does not condone violence, but would it be asking for too much is she smacks her son (Kong) hard??? 😔😔😔

#dangerous romance #dangerous romance ep 8 #kanghansailom #kangsailom #perthchimon #perth tanapon #chimon wachirawit