#to say 'your suffering was worth something' and not the reality of 'your suffering happened. full stop.' is very powerful to both of them

[kerryweaverlesbian]

I wish we had more Sam and Claire scenes, maybe there will be more further into season 11, because the fact that they were both abandoned by destiny. Is making me vibrate on frequencies henceforth unknown to man.

#“IT'S OKAY. I GOT TO KNOW [MY DEAD MOM] LATER I LIFE.” #IT'S MAKING ME CRAZY #sam went from being Thee luke skywalker of the series to having no mytharc for like 5 seasons #like yeah he was involved with the supernatural but he was getting flicked out of the room for people to talk to dean about dean's unwanted #magical destiny #the dean smith and sam wesson episode very clearly states that it is intrinsic to sam to want to believe in destiny and fate and #being born for something greater #and now that he's settled into his life - he tells both Charlie and his imaginary friend that he LIKES being a hunter #when the possibility of a Greater Purpose is still so enticing to him #and I think Claire would be the same. she's very easily manipulated or at least she has been so far. #to say 'your suffering was worth something' and not the reality of 'your suffering happened. full stop.' is very powerful to both of them #sam supernatural #claire supernatural

[steddieas-shegoes]

A little thing based on this post because it wouldn’t leave my brain:

“I just don’t understand why you won’t try to read it.”

Steve had heard Dustin say this exact sentence hundreds of times at this point.

“I mean, do you know how to read?”

Mike was an asshole. Steve loved him because he was part of the group and he’d been through the same things, but he was such a dick.

“Yes, I know how to read. I just don’t.”

Dustin rolled his eyes.

“If you don’t wanna read nerd shit just say so.”

Steve threw his arms up in frustration.

Steve was a nerd at heart. As a child, he would beg the nanny to take him to the library and the science museum that had real dinosaur fossils. There was something about the peace of exiting his reality and finding a new one among fantasy and history that was indescribable, even to this day.

But as he grew into his looks, he grew out of that phase. At least around others.

And with no nanny around to take him places, he settled for just being the popular guy who hung out with his friends after practice and threw parties at his forever empty house on Saturdays.

But secretly, he still found himself enjoying books late into the night. Never school books, or his grades would’ve been good enough for college, but always incredible novels that took him to other worlds with the most impressively brave people.

And then he lived a nightmare. A few times over. With concussions at every turn.

Now, anytime he tried to read, his head started pounding, his vision got blurry, and ears would start ringing. He stopped trying altogether after Starcourt, but he’d never really let go his love of books.

He occasionally let Robin read to him, but she would get distracted by a plot or character and go on a tangent, leaving Steve confused about what the actual story was. He hated being confused.

“Stevie, you got a minute?”

Eddie had been watching from his spot at the end of the table, where he’d been cleaning up the mess of D&D. He usually made the kids do it, but he’d let them off the hook tonight when they beat the monster and escaped his trap.

Steve and Eddie were friends, definitely. Maybe not close ones, but friends.

Steve had a little crush, definitely. Or a big one. Maybe.

So when Eddie shows him attention, he somewhat shamefully receives it like he’s dying of thirst in a desert.

Robin is the only one who’s noticed so far, but if he keeps acting like a dog being called by his master anytime Eddie talks to him, someone else will comment on it.

“Yeah, what’s up?” Steve asked as he made his way to Eddie.

The kids took this time to talk amongst themselves about the game and what they think will happen next week, and Steve couldn’t have been more grateful.

“You don’t have to tell me, but.” Eddie was tapping his fingers nervously against his leg. “Do you not know how to read?”

“Uh. No I do. I mean I graduated high school. I know it’s hard to believe.”

“Not judging if you can’t, man. I mean, I took three senior years. I’m the last person who can judge.”

“Yeah, but you’re smart. You just didn’t like school,” Steve replied with a pat to his shoulder.

Eddie glanced down at the contact, eyebrow raising and then falling back to normal quickly.

“Just seems like you’d have read something by now to get them off your ass.”

And that’s a really good point. Maybe he should’ve just suffered through a migraine so they’d leave him alone about it.

But migraines left him out for days sometimes, and he couldn’t exactly afford that right now.

“I guess it’s just not worth the migraine.”

He hadn’t meant to actually say it. He didn’t want Eddie to feel bad or for him to try to make him feel better about it or ask questions or talk about the concussion thing.

Actually, did he even know about the concussion thing? Things?

“You get migraines when you try to read?” Then realization hit Eddie hard. “Steve. Do you like reading?”

Something about the way Eddie was looking at him, like he was sad for him but not pitying him, made Steve want to cry.

“I used to, yeah.”

“Everyone out! Your parents are gonna have to come get you! No questions, no explanations, go!” Eddie yelled to the room.

Everyone stared blankly at him before they started protesting, Dustin loudest of all.

“Steve’s my ride!”

“Not anymore. Hitch a ride with Lucas.”

“But Lucas’ mom always squeezes my cheeks and tells me she hopes I never lose my baby fat.”

“She speaks for all of us. Get the hell out of here!”

Steve was actually impressed. Maybe a little turned on? God, he was a disaster.

As everyone cleared out of the room, Eddie patted the seat next to him. When Steve sat down, Eddie scooted his chair so close to him, his knees were touching Steve’s.

“Alright, so you’re gonna tell me about what books you like and what books you want to read and we’re gonna get started.”

Steve blinked at him. “Huh?”

“You have a list I’m sure.”

“Yeah, but…”

“Okay, then we better get started.”

“I mean, I’ve tried. I appreciate it, but even focusing on one page makes my eyes burn and my head hurt.”

“Got that. I’m not asking you to read.”

Sometimes Steve was worried the concussions had actually knocked some screws loose. He wasn’t getting it.

“I’m gonna read to you, Stevie.”

“You don’t have to do that. I’m sure a lot of them will be movies and I can just watch them.”

“It’s not the same. You know it’s not.”

He was right. Steve didn’t have much patience for movies. And sometimes even those gave him migraines if there were a lot of bright lights and explosions.

“Yeah. But still. You don’t have to do that. You might not even like the books.”

“Ah, this isn’t a completely free service, my liege.”

Steve rolled his eyes. “I don’t have extra money to pay you, dude.”

“Not money. I get to pick a book to read to you when we finish the first book you pick.”

“Is it The Hobbit?”

“It is,” Eddie looked so smug.

“Well, that was my first choice,” Steve stared back, equally as smug.

“So, your house is empty.”

“Yep.”

“And I’m assuming you own this book.”

“I do.”

“And it’s getting late.”

Steve looked out the window at the pitch black skies.

“It’s late.”

“So I could stay and read you to sleep.”

“Won’t I miss some of the book?”

“I’ll stop when you’re asleep.”

Steve’s heart was practically begging him to say yes. Eddie reading to him in his bed? Possibly falling asleep together? Maybe even waking up together? It couldn’t be a better proposition. Well. It could.

“Will you stay even if I fall asleep?”

Eddie smirked. “If that’s what you want, sweetheart.”

It wasn’t the first time he’d called Steve that, but it was the first time it felt like he meant it in a non-teasing way.

“Okay.”

So they both changed into some of Steve’s comfy clothes, got into his bed, and Eddie started reading The Hobbit.

Just as he was during D&D and real life, Eddie was animated, providing different voices for different characters and often giving long pauses to let Steve soak in what the words meant.

Steve didn’t even have to ask him to do that. He just did.

Steve fell asleep somewhere between halfway and the end of chapter two, but Eddie stayed.

And they woke up the next day with Steve’s head resting on Eddie’s chest, Eddie’s arms wrapped around him to keep him as close as possible.

They finished the The Hobbit in a week, and because Eddie was now committed to making sure Steve was well-read, they started moving through his list rapidly, falling for each other in new ways every time Eddie turned a page.

Part 2 (Angst)  / Part 2 (Fluffy) /  Part 2 (Explicit)

#steddie #steve harrington #eddie munson #stranger things #tumblr drabbles #ao3fic #headcanon #secret nerd Steve Harrington

[tainbocuailnge]

it sucks that all the knight parts of arknights ch11 are just not great. i think they're very good at writing the struggles and resistance of ordinary people through the salvation corps and people like miss golding and feist's grandma, and also at like the terror of facing powerful sarkaz in battle and amiya briefly experiencing the ancestral suffering of existing as a sarkaz and stuff like that, so from one scene to another the tension is maintained well enough even if i think the pacing isn't great. except when it's about the glasgow gang. when it's about them there's just suddenly nothing happening.

and it's not unclear what they're supposed to be contributing to the story here: victoria had been falling apart under the selfish greed of its nobility long before the sarkaz occupied the city, and to save victoria requires having a vision of how you want to define victoria, of what parts of victoria can and should be saved. the culture of victoria built much of its sense of honor and justice on the image of its (steam) knights so there is a message in the steam knights being missing and the heir to the throne and her knights being a street gang. what is worth swearing loyalty to as a knight when the difference between the throne and the people, between the concept and the lived reality of victoria is so vast? these are classic knight themes and very easy to work with because of how timeless they are. there is potential too in the contrast between victoria's lost knights (as an ideal warrior that fights to defend its homeland) versus the sarkaz mercenary soldiers (the reality of warriors fighting to reclaim and avenge a lost home) and how people like horn straddle the line. they touch on it briefly when golding laments that the play about the steam knights that she hoped would teach the kids knightly ideals only cements the image of the steam knights as a bludgeon against their enemies.

but every time the focus is on the actual royal heir and her knights they keep telling you the same shit. vina is an important figure. vina has an important choice to make soon. vina has much responsibility on her shoulders. vina has many people putting their trust in her to make an important choice soon because she is important. shit dude we've known that since the game released, we were all waiting for the main story to go to victoria and finally let her do shit, and now 2 chapters of 20+ stages in victoria later she's still not really done anything at all except stand around and have other people tell you how important she is and how she's definitely gonna do something important any moment now. all this effort to get her hands on the royal sword with hardly any indication of siege's own capabilities or convictions as a ruler. everyone in glasgow gang keeps gassing her up and she's just standing there.

so you end up not buying any of the knightly ideals they're talking about because for every time dagda or indra or morgan say they're protecting victoria and its future by sucking up to siege there's a factory worker risking it all and building a doohickey to actually make a stand with. and when you finally find the sword of victoria's kings your path is barred by the last steam knight who still moves through pure strength of will to protect the one thing he can still truly say is "the victoria he fought for", and you're not even obligated to actually fight him. man, what are we even doing here then.

#arklance

[prisi]

I feel TOH fails a lot with the treatment that Belos and his lore receive towards the end. I think his arc will feel so much more complete if the show was allowed to show us that he suffered in the past and wasn't like "nah he is just pure evil and he has always been like that". I don't like how the show wants you to believe that Caleb did nothing wrong or reprehensible when there's obvious implications that he abandoned Philip to go with Evelyn, it will be so much more interesting that the show recognized that Caleb was naive and selfish in abandoning his brother (who only have him as family and support figure) to his own in the puritan era, and how that action of Caleb deeply damaged Philip emotionally and mentally (kinda like Luz abandoning Camila to live her fantasy in the Boiling Isles without thinking in the consequences but we are not talking about that right now, I love Luz btw don't get mad at me). And Philip, who probably entered the Isles with the sole intention to "save" his brother who at his eyes was bewitched and seduced by an evil witch to go with her, when he finally found his brother after many years and found out that Caleb actually loved Evelyn and DECIDED to leave him behind he totally lost his mind.

A confrontation escene between Philip and Caleb (it could be a flashback or something showed in Hollow Mind even) will be so interesting to watch, something like in the third season of Infinity Train when Simon confronts The Cat for abandoning him as a child, Caleb will try to justify himself at first saying that he is sorry, that he thought Philip was going to be okay on his own, that he didn't thought that he was going to miss him or something, making Philip more angry, sad and confused.

The situation will scale to the point that Philip, (who's original goal was to kill Evelyn to bring back Caleb in the Human Realm) now that he is angry, sad and out of his senses he tries to attack Caleb with the dagger he had in his hand which triggers the knife fight in which Caleb dies.

Philip, after realizing that he killed the only person he had in the world, he tries to justify himself in an internal monologue like: "oh well, I murdered you, but in doing so I freed your soul from the union with that sinful witch. That's what the witch hunting taught me, right? That's what YOU taught me, RIGHT?". Trying to shift the blame for what just happened onto Caleb but also letting us know and acknowledging that it was Caleb who introduced and instructed Philip in the witch hunt and did nothing to reverse it.

Coming to the end, when the fight ends and Belos and Luz are face to face, the scene would play out more or less as we see it in canon but at the moment in which the first drop of boiling rain falls on his hand and begins to see his body dissolve, he enters a mental breakdown in which he realizes that he wasted his entire life on a goal that made no sense, the witches weren't evil or a threat and he knew it, but he clung to his goal because he did not want to face the reality, he did not want to accept that he had killed his brother in vain nor did he want to accept that he had decided to abandon him, and he did not want to die knowing that he wasted 400 years suffering for something that was not worth it. At the end of his collapse he would crawl a little and see Hunter in the distance (because yes, Hunter should have been present in the end even a little), he would try to extend his hand in his direction but Hunter, noticing this, would close his eyes, look away and take a step back behind Eda and Raine. Philip experienced his brother's abandonment again but with the difference that this time it is merely his fault, because even if Caleb damaged Philip deeply with his abandonment, he is not responsable of the path Philip choosed to take.

Seeing and realizing all of this Belos would stop crawling and give up, lying on the ground, breathing hard as the boiling rain finally dissolves him and dies.

Or at least that is how I liked it to happen, let me know what you think.

#toh critical #toh criticism #belos toh #luz toh #philip wittebane #toh salt #toh #the owl house #hunter toh #hunter noceda #emperor belos #hunter wittebane #luz noceda #hot takes

[sleepyowlwrites]

writing prompts! cheshire cat quotes edition

from American McGee's Alice and Alice: Madness Returns

"I've heard self-relience is a virtue. Now, you've heard it."

"I suppose experience teaches best. Learn by doing and similar clichés have merit."

"Haste makes waste, so I rarely hurry."

"Reject only your ignorance and you may survive."

"A blunderbuss in the hands of a blockhead is a catastrophe waiting to happen."

"What resides beneath this betina of civility? Something wicked, I wager."

"For every task there's a proper tool, sometimes more than one."

"Those who say there's nothing like a nice cup of tea for calming the nerves never had real tea."

"How fine you look when dressed in rage!"

"Threats, promises, and good intentions don't amount to action."

"Every adventure requires a first step, trite, but true."

"When the remarkable turns bizarre, reason turns rancid."

"What is sought is most often found, if it is truly sought."

"Only a few find the way, some don't recognize it when they do, some don't ever want to."

"There's an ugly name for those who do things the hard way."

"Only the foolish believe suffering is just wages for being different. Only the savage regard the endurance of pain as the measure of worth. Only the insane equate pain with success."

"The steps to enlightenment brighten the way, but the steps are steep. Take them one at a time."

"Seeking refuge from the wicked world? Perhaps things only look like they've gone to hell."

"Seek and ye shall find, they say, but they don't say what you'll find."

"A reflection sometimes exposes more reality than the object it echoes."

"Back to admire your handiwork? Returning to the scene of the crime."

"Memories define our lives, and they renew us. Collect them, nurture them. An experience forgotten never was."

"Are you feigning ineptitude or is your mind in a muddle?"

"Some obstacles are overcome with the mind, some, with our heart."

"Different denotes neither bad nor good but it certainly means not the same."

#writing prompts #prompts list #writing prompt #prompt list #quote prompts #story prompts #dialogue prompt #dialogue prompts #angst prompts #alice madness returns

[taralen]

🔥HOT TAKE: Spamton was always unhinged, but the phone incident made it worse.

(A theory by an actual insane person.)

I often see people think insanity is something that just happens and that all sufferers were totally sane before. This isn't necessarily true for a lot of people who truly suffer from debilitating mental illnesses. While some mental illnesses can be largely attributed to trauma (especially PTSD), others are "sleepers" that were always kind of there but escalated over time. Some of the most severe mental illnesses stigmatized by society (psychopathy, bipolar type 1, and schizophrenia) can have genetic predispositions. Being an oddball out of all the Addisons, it's highly likely he was already "predisposed" to becoming totally unhinged, almost like a game with bad code (ex, Yandere Simulator) that is prone to crashing or glitching out due to the code being faulty in the first place.

Spamton's personality type also made him susceptible to developing problems later on in his life. He shows the classic signs of someone who falls into personality types that are ambitious yet overly critical (i.e., Personality Type A.) Being too critical of yourself and others can lead to some rabbit-hole-level reasoning that pulls your psyche deeper into your own mind, causing reality and perception to blur.

The one pulling the strings elevated him and satisfied his desire for success. When this was taken away from him, his entire self-worth and sense of being were destroyed. Spamton was never not ambitious. The fact he took such a dubious call and offer shows his desperate, unhinged nature. Maybe it wasn't severe enough yet to consider "insane," but he was impulsive and didn't think it through. Impulsivity and lack of control are more classical symptoms of someone at risk of or already suffering from a mental illness.

When he finally snaps, he gets so unfathomably unstable that people finally acknowledge him as being truly "mad." This is largely due to him expressing and experiencing all the hallmarks of mania.

Now, let me say this as someone who experiences mania firsthand. Mania is something you cannot control, and it's like falling in and out of consciousness when it's severe. People experience it differently, but it feels like being on a stimulant drug without needing to take anything. Spamton does all the following (which are associated with mania):

Talks rapidly and usually about himself.

Uncontrollable and inappropriate laughter.

Grandiosity (BIG SHOT!!!)

Impulsivity and risky behavior. (He invites someone he literally just met into his place without fearing any consequences.)

Irritability Now, take your understanding of what these are and dial it up with hyperactivity, racing thoughts, and feeling like you're half-dreaming. Congrats! You now have a better idea of what mania is.

His moments of lucidity are characterized by bouts of sadness and self-loathing. This is caused by a lull or (worse) a crash from mania. Severity depends, but it's something also uncontrollable.

What the phone incident did was make him unable to regulate himself, and so all his high-risk traits come to the centerfold. It doesn't help, either, that he was abandoned by his friends. Without social interactions, symptoms can become worse, which is why he's manic damn near 99% of the time.

This is a lot, but my hope is that it reframes how some people may interpret the character through someone who deals with mirroring issues.

💛

#deltarune #deltarune analysis #deltarune theory #spamton #spamton g spamton #mental illness #I hope this is at least a little interesting haha

[mxlti-fand0m-imaginess]

Manta Rays // Sarah Cameron

request: none!

prompts: none!

summary: you’ve been in love with sarah cameron for longer than you could remember. your friends have been trying to convince you to get over her and that it would never happen, and you almost listen. but what happens when you discover your feelings aren’t as one-sided as you thought?

warnings: mentions of alcohol consumption, language

word count: 3.2k

a/n: pogue!reader, gn!reader

join my taglist! album masterlist!

Been tryna dream of you for so long I can't even remember

When I first decided your face was the one I wanted my mind to conjure

Your eyes wandered over the group of people surrounding you as you sat down on the sand at yet another kegger that your friends forcibly dragged you to. Not to say that you didn’t like spending time with them, it’s just that parties like this weren’t exactly your scene. It was loud and chaotic, and you had never been one for drinking. That should’ve been enough for you to just refuse their invite altogether, opting to sit out and spend the night on your own in your room. But there was something that always drew you in. Or rather, someone.

Sarah Cameron. The girl who you’d been in love with for longer than you could remember. Just knowing that there was even a chance that you could see her kept drawing you back to the scene that you hated over and over again. But it was all worth it just to see her.

What you wouldn’t give to be able to have a chance with her. And in another life you just might’ve gone for it. But this was reality. She was a Kook princess and you were just a Pogue. You knew that Sarah would never even spare you a second glance, and if you did ever try asking her out, there was a very good chance of her laughing in your face. You knew it would never happen, but you still couldn’t bring yourself to move on.

“Someone’s distracted. Whatcha looking at?” Kie said as she sat down beside you, trying to track your gaze.

She sighed, nudging you with her shoulder, and you knew that she had caught you staring at Sarah yet again. “Still? You know it’s not gonna happen, you’ve even said it yourself. Why don’t you at least try moving on?”

“I’ve tried. Believe me. At this point, I don’t think it’s possible. But y’know, I’m completely fine suffering in silence and daydreaming from afar. It’s not so bad actually.”

I never knew manta rays were so big 'til I got high and had to Google it

I'm not obsessed, the feeling's just there and I'm tryin' hard to forget you

Tryin' hard to forget you

Your friends all knew about your infatuation with Sarah, much to their dismay. But no matter how hard they tried to convince you to hate her like they did or to get your heart set on someone else, you just couldn’t shake your feelings for her. Was it possible to be in love with someone you’ve never even talked to?

“Look, I’m just saying that at this point, it’s kinda getting a little creepy. You’re practically obsessed with her,” JJ said.

You sighed and rolled your eyes at him. “I’m not obsessed with her. You’re making me sound all stalkerish.”

“Oh yeah? Then how would you describe it?” he asked, raising an eyebrow at you.

You shrugged, pondering the question in your mind for a few moments. “I dunno. Love, maybe?”

Kie almost choked on her drink as she turned to look at you. “Love? Seriously? Y/n, you’ve never even talked to Sarah! I doubt she even knows that you exist. No way are you in love with her.”

You fell silent at Kie’s words, knowing that there was no point in starting an argument over this with her. She could believe whatever she wanted to, you knew how you felt. You were absolutely, head over heels, in love with Sarah Cameron. Not exactly an ideal situation, but nonetheless, you couldn’t control your feelings. And painful as your feelings may be, you still couldn’t stop that fluttery feeling deep inside you every time she crossed your mind.

Your honey voice echoes in every noise

And I know this is just how it goes

I know, I know, I know, I know

“Hey! Wait up!”

You felt your heart momentarily stop when you heard Sarah’s voice coming from behind you. You so badly wanted to turn around and look at her, but you knew how awkward that would be. Still, you felt a small smile grow on your face just from knowing that she was nearby. That would have to be enough for now.

“Hey! Y/n!”

You froze. Did you hear that correctly? Did Sarah just say your name? You knew that you must’ve heard her incorrectly, but you still couldn’t stop yourself from turning around. And lo and behold, there was Sarah, heading straight towards you. Your mind raced with questions as she reached you, feeling your head spin from how close she was.

“It is y/n, right?” she asked, slightly out of breath from jogging to catch up with you.

“Uhhh… yeah! T-that would be me.” You cursed at yourself in your head for stuttering. The first time Sarah talks to you, and you’ve already made yourself look like an idiot.

“You dropped your wallet,” Sarah said, smiling as she handed it to you.

“Huh? Oh, uhm, thank you,” you replied, awkwardness consuming your entire being.

You reached forward to grab it from her and her fingers brushed against yours, making your knees weak and your stomach tie up in knots. You could barely believe just how easily that small of a touch had you falling apart.

“No problem! See you around,” Sarah said, a cheery smile on her face as she turned around and walked away.

My therapist will tell me that it's best to let it be

But I wanna light fires, I wanna explode, I wanna be everything you want to know

“What’s got you all giddy?” John B asked, glancing over at your jittery form.

Ever since that moment earlier today with Sarah, you could barely contain your excitement. Your leg kept bouncing, and you were smiling so hard your face began to ache. You just couldn’t stop replaying that moment over and over again, her hand barely touching yours. It was such a small, insignificant action. But to you, it was everything.

“I talked to Sarah!” you blurted out, uncontrollably squealing in excitement.

“Woah, what?! Okay, when did this happen?” JJ asked, his attention suddenly fixated on you.

“So, I was walking to the store when I heard someone calling my name. And then I turn around and Sarah is walking straight towards me!”

“Huh, so she does know your name,” Kie said.

You nodded excitedly. “Yeah! Well turns out that my wallet fell out of my pocket and she was just trying to give it back to me. But when she handed it to me, our fingers touched! That was hands down the greatest moment of my entire life!”

“Wow dude, you are whipped!” JJ said, nudging you with his elbow as he laughed.

You shrugged, a lovesick smile still on your face. “Maybe. But still, I’m making progress! I mean, this is the first time I’ve ever talked to her.”

Kie sighed, draping her arm over your shoulder. “Only because you dropped your wallet. I wouldn’t get too excited over that.”

You simply smiled in response. “Progress!”

But it's all for you, it's

All for you, it's

All for you, it's

Always for you

“Woah! You did what now?” Scarlet asked, staring at Sarah in shock.

“I stole their wallet so I could give it back to them!” Sarah sighed, resting her chin on her hands. “It’s insane, I know. But I just couldn’t figure out another way to talk to them. I didn’t wanna like come on too strong.”

Scarlet huffed, rolling her eyes. “Sarah, you need to get over this little school girl crush. They’re a Pogue, you can do so much better than that. What about Topper? He’s practically obsessed with you.”

Sarah shrugged, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. “Topper’s fine and all, but honestly, he’s kind of an asshole. And y/n is just so different. I’ve never met anyone like them before. They’re just so free, I can’t help but want to know more about them.”

“Look, all I’m saying is that if you associate with the wrong kind, certain people are going to get really upset.”

Sarah scoffed. “What, like Rafe? I don’t give a crap about how he feels. He can’t control me or my life, and if he has a problem with me liking y/n, he can go take it up with someone who actually cares.”

“Alright, I’m just warning you. Be careful, there’s all different kinds of freaks over on The Cut. You spend too much time over there, you're gonna get hurt.”

“Y/n’s not like the rest of them. They’re… perfect,” Sarah said, a dreamy smile overtaking her face.

It's all for you, it's

Never not for you, it's

All for you, it's

Still all for you

You practically clung to Kie’s side as your eyes nervously wandered the Island Club. You had all but begged her to invite you to Midsummer’s, knowing that you would definitely see Sarah here. But you hadn’t thought about just how out of place you feel at a fancy party, surrounded by Kooks who all eyed you judgingly.

You were in an outfit that was way too fancy for your liking, and probably cost more than your last paycheck. Kie had managed to convince her parents to buy it for you under the guise that you were going as her date. It took a lot of effort for Kie to convince you to even wear it, but you drew the line at the fancy shoes that you were supposed to wear with it, opting to wear your old beat-up converse instead.

“Fancy seeing you here,” Sarah said, smiling as she approached you.

Your face instantly grew warm as you blushed, both the unexpected attention and Sarah’s stunning appearance flustering you instantly.

“Not to come off as rude or anything, but why are you here? This doesn’t exactly seem like your style,” Sarah asked.

You would normally be offended by someone asking you a question like that, but with Sarah you could tell that there wasn’t any malice behind her words. She was just genuinely curious as to why you were somewhere so far from your normal setting. You couldn’t fight off your smile as you looked back at her.

“Oh, uhm, Kie invited me. Not sure why though, she practically dragged me here,” you said, trying your best to play it cool.

In actuality, the whole reason you were at this stupid party in the first place was to see Sarah, but you couldn’t say that without coming off as a creep. What she didn’t know wouldn’t hurt her.

“Not to be too forward or anything, but do you wanna get out of here? You look really uncomfortable. I know of a hideaway around here, shouldn’t be too crowded.”

Before your mind could even catch up to your body, you were nodding. Sarah smiled brightly and grabbed your hand, leading you through the crowd to an unoccupied porch that was far away from the commotion of the party. It was quiet. Peaceful. Just you and her. And it was the most magical thing you had ever experienced.

Wanna be your shining pearl, your one in the world, the type you wanna lean on

Wish I were something suited for that

“Everything okay?” Sarah asked, snapping you out of your faroff daze.

“Yeah, everything’s great. It’s just… a few days ago I didn’t even think you knew my name and now you're whisking me away from a party. It’s all kinda strange. But not in a bad way! I guess I’m just kinda confused is all.”

Sarah smiled awkwardly, a hint of a blush tinting her cheeks. “I guess I was just trying to find a way to talk to you. Just didn’t really know how.”

You smiled, feeling your stomach tie itself in knots. “You wanted to talk to me? Why?”

She laughed nervously, her gaze flitting away from you. “I just want to know more about you. You seem so carefree, so sure of yourself. You’re so different from all of my friends. I guess something just drew me to you.”

You felt your cheeks heat up in a blush as you looked down at the floor, her sweet words flustering you. Sarah stepped closer to you, and you felt her fingers under your chin, tilting your head back up to look at her. It felt like everything around you slowed as you took in every single detail of this moment. You had never been so close to her before. Somehow, she looked even more beautiful from up close.

She moved the hand she had on your chin to rest against your cheek, and you could’ve sworn that your heart stopped at that very moment. Something about being so close to her and having her touch you, it was all so magical. You would’ve been convinced you were dreaming if not for the gentle feeling of her breath against your skin as she leaned closer to you. Your mind could barely process what was happening, and before you knew it, her lips were on yours. And it was like everything else around you disappeared, and nothing else mattered except for you and her.

I skip every song that won't remind me of you 'cause if it doesn't

It's not worth the time, I wish I had more time with you

“Sarah! Where are you?” a voice called from behind you, startling the two of you and forcing you to pull apart.

Sarah’s eyes widened as she looked over your shoulder. “It’s Rafe. I- I should go. I don’t want him to see…” she trailed off, but you knew what she was about to say.

“You don’t want him to see you with me. That’s what you were going to say, wasn’t it?” Your face fell as you took in her slightly panicked expression. Maybe she really was ashamed to be seen with you.

Sarah quickly shook her head. “No! It’s not that, really it’s not. He’s just so judgemental, and he hates Pogues. I don’t want him to say something to upset you. I’m really sorry, but I have to go.”

You reached out and grabbed her hand to stop her after she started to walk away. “Hold on, shouldn’t we talk about this? It doesn’t have to be right now, but I don’t want this to be a one time thing. I really really like you, Sarah. I don’t want whatever this is to be over before it even started.”

Sarah smiled and walked back over to you, pressing a soft kiss to your cheek. “I’ll find you later, and we can talk about everything. But I really have to go now. I’ll see you around.”

You stood there as she walked away, still in awe from everything that had just happened. Sarah Cameron, the girl you had been in love with for years, had kissed you. It was better than you ever could’ve dreamed, and you couldn’t wait to see her again.

I wanna be your everything

Wanna be more than what I am in general

Don't tell me that this means anything

I promise I understand

It had been a few weeks since Midsummer’s, and suddenly you and Sarah had started hanging out more and more. Somehow, whatever this relationship that you had with her was had ended up being kept a secret. It was kind of exhilarating in a way, sneaking around together and climbing through each other’s windows. It almost felt like a forbidden romance, despite being not so forbidden. And as much fun as sneaking around with her was, you wanted more.

You wanted something real. You wanted to be able to tell your friends about her and to be able to call her your girlfriend. You wanted a real relationship with the girl of your dreams, but the longer things stayed a secret, the more unsure you became about whether she actually wanted all of that too. Maybe you weren’t all that far off thinking that she was ashamed to be with you.

You laid on your bed, Sarah’s head resting against your chest and your fingers intertwined with hers. You couldn’t help but smile as you looked down at her. Sometimes it still felt like you were living in a dream. But you knew that you had to wake up sometime.

“Hey, Sarah?” you asked, pulling her attention to you as she sat up to face you.

“Yeah?”

You sat up too, pulling your hand away from hers, not missing the way her smile faltered at the action.

“What are we? I mean, I know that there’s something going on between us, but I’m just not sure what. You say that you want me, and yet we’re still keeping whatever this is hidden. I just want to know if I’m wasting my time or not.”

She smiled softly and reached out to grab your hand again. “You’re definitely not wasting your time. I do want this, and I do want you. I just wasn’t sure if you’d want to go public about it. My friends aren’t exactly the nicest towards Pogues, I just didn’t want you getting hurt.”

“Sarah, I don’t care what your friends think of me. You’re all that I care about. And I want to be with you, no matter what anyone else says.”

“Is this your way of asking me to be your girlfriend?”

You smiled and kissed that back of her hand. “I guess that depends. Would you say yes?”

But it's all for you, it's

All for you, it's

All for you, it's

Always for you

“Where is y/n? They’re never this late!” Pope said, opening his phone to check if you had texted him.

“Chill out man. They probably just overslept,” JJ said, nudging Pope with his elbow.

“I don’t know, I mean this is so-,” Pope said, only for you to inadvertently cut him off.

“Hey guys! Sorry I’m so late! I had to pick up someone. Speaking of which, this is Sarah, my girlfriend,” you said, smiling brightly as you walked over to your friends, hand-in-hand with Sarah.

“No fucking way,” JJ said, looking over at the two of you in disbelief.

“Hi!” Sarah said, waving awkwardly as your friends all gawked at her. She leaned over and whispered to you, “Why are they all staring at me?”

“Probably because they don’t believe that we’re actually together,” you replied, laughing softly at the dumbfounded looks on your friends’ faces.

“Do you blame us? You’ve talked about her nonstop for years, and all of a sudden you’re together! It’s a little hard to take in,” Kie said, still looking between you and Sarah in shock.

“Years, huh?” Sarah asked, a teasing smile on her face.

“Oh, shut up! She’s over exaggerating,” you said, glaring daggers at Kie who just burst out laughing at your response.

“No, it’s fine. I’ve been dreaming about you for years too,” Sarah said with a smile, leaning in to kiss you.

Even after all this time, you still couldn’t believe that you finally had her. It still always felt like a dream. But this time you were sure that you were never going to wake up.

It's all for you, it's

Never not for you, it's

All for you, it's

Still all for you

#imagine #imagines #x reader #oneshot #smut #blurb #outer banks #outer banks x reader #outer banks smut #outer banks imagine #outer banks oneshot #outer banks blurb #sarah cameron #sarah cameron x reader #sarah cameron smut #sarah cameron imagine #sarah cameron oneshot #sarah cameron blurb #obx #sarah cameron fic #sarah cameron fanfic #outer banks fic #outer banks fanfiction #outer banks fanfic #sarah cameron fanfiction #obx x reader #obx smut #obx imagine #obx oneshot #obx blurb

[youledmehere]

what did Rick's vows to Michonne mean?

“its a broken world michonne, and you’re the only thing that puts it back together…”

now im no real intellectual and i like rambling but i’ll try to explain my thoughts. (i would love to hear yours!) on one hand i think you can see this as him saying the world is broken, they’ve suffered a lot. especially in this place in time with him being gone for so long and everything he’s had to endure he’s lost even more faith in the world and at times even himself. he’s been broken down for so long but being with michonne, she just makes everything better. she is a source of strength, motivation, and gives him what he needs to keep going. she makes things make sense even in the middle of the apocalypse. being with her makes everything worth it again. loving her completes him and the world is more bearable.

on the other hand i think you can also see it as him saying he knows the world is terrible. the reality they live in is harsh, cruel, painful... from the different people they meet, the situations they find themselves in, to constantly having to lose good people over and over. but despite all that ugliness michonne is STILL someone who wants to make the world better. he recognizes that she is someone who continually chooses to find solutions in all these bad situations not just because she can but because she genuinely wants to. she’s always been someone who wants to improve the broken world even when it’s hard. she has constantly been a voice of reason and someone he’s leaned on when making big decisions. it’s interesting that he proposes after jadis kicked the bucket and michonne told her that she and rick were going to try and stop the CRM and inform the city about everything that has been happening. he knew she wasn’t just saying that to rub salt into the wound, that she meant it because she can’t just stand by and let the CRM continue how they were operating. she knows what they’re capable of, was gassed herself and lost her new friends. even though she desperately wants them both to just go home to their children, they have to try and stop this evil force. it’s nothing new to her (or them) to try and do the right thing because down to their cores they can’t be those people that just look the other way, let bad things happen and not try to help. i think it shows us more how rick views michonne specifically or at least how highly he regards her. she’s something good in a bad broken world.

til my last breath i am yours = self explanatory. he loves her. only wants to be with her. he’s her husband until the day he dies.

#hope this makes sense lol #i rlly just wanted to praise michonne like mr grimes intended #richonne #the ones who live #asks

[cherrygukkie]

Late Night Encounters Pt. 2 | jjk

Word Count: 6k

A/N: Here's part 2! I hope you enjoy it. Don't forget to leave feedback <33

Warnings: (Nothing serious for now....)

Tell me if there are any errors! I hurried and skimmed through this!

••••••••

It’s the afternoon and you’ve successfully made it through the school day. With you being tired, it went faster than you anticipated and it wasn’t too bad…

… except that you never got your beats back from Jungkook. It was just a repeat of this morning and you had to suffer and watch him use them in 5th period, chemistry.

he’s so annoying

Besides all that, you were more than prepared for later today. This wasn’t your first rodeo. This is your third year and you are more than familiar, but as time passes the stakes get higher and higher.

Your life could completely change in a matter of hours. If you were to get recruited on a team, depending on what and where, if you accepted their offer you would end up finishing college early and possibly move out of the state.

And that means you'll be leaving everything behind.

It’s all you could think about walking from school and you didn’t want to drown in your thoughts anymore because you needed rest, so you wouldn’t overthink.

A nap wouldn’t hurt, would it?

You found yourself melting into your soft comforter, staring at the pretty colorful lights on the wall. It was war hanging up those lights, but it was worth it. The gentle glow reminded you of the warmth and comfort you felt back at home in your old room.

Embracing the cozy atmosphere, you shift around to get comfortable. You dim the lights with your remote, preparing for some slumber until a specific thought pops up in your head.

Who you were bringing with you as your date….

It just hit you that your words slipped out and you told Jungkook that you had a date to bring, but in reality, you didn’t… you were going to invite Yoongi or Taehyung, as friends.”

And now you’re in a pickle.

But showing up alone wouldn’t be too bad, except for the fact that Jungkook would know that you lied.

If you were to bring one of them, is he gonna pay you any attention?

No, because he’ll be too invested in his date to even give a fuck about yours. As long as he sees you with someone and that’s all that matters.

It shouldn’t be any more than that.

Suddenly, your phone comes to life once and the notification sends waves of vibrations through the sheets making it impossible to ignore.

You check your phone to see an incoming FaceTime call from Yoongi—your beloved bestie. 

You answer. “Hey, Yoongi.”

Putting your face in the camera, you reveal your messy hair that’s covering your pillow. Yoongi gets a closer look at you and asks, “Were you asleep?”

“No,” you huff, releasing a yawn. “I tried to, but I just thought about how I fucked up today.”

He lifts his brow, curiously. “What happened?” 

some bullshit

“Well… I um-” your eyes look up to the ceiling, soaking up a moment of silence and Yoongi stares at you expectedly, waiting for a response.

He slightly raises his voice. “Hello? Are you fucking stuck or something? Tell me what’s going on.”

Who is he talking to? lol 

“No, I am not stuck,” you said firmly. “I accidentally made a mistake and told Jungkook that I had a date for my sporting event…”

“Some bullshit… like I assumed.” He sighs as you bite your tongue, speechless.  “And why would you say that?”

“Because…” you start, “it was this thing… and he assumed I didn’t have a date, so I lied to not look pathetic.”

You saying that only makes you look more pathetic.

“Let me get this straight,” Yoongi pauses to give you a look. The “you dumb bitch look”. “You told Jungkook… someone you hate… that you had a date just because he assumed that you didn’t? And you want to prove him wrong?”

That sounds about right…

“Yeah?” You utter with shame, teeth sinking into your lip. “Yeah, I did...” Yoongi opens his mouth to speak, but you beat him to it. “When you think about it… it’s not that bad because you’re coming with me.” you thoughtfully suggest, hoping he would accept the invitation. “And that way I won’t look stupid!”

“Can’t,” he spit carelessly, expression dulling. “You know I’m at work, Y/N. And why would I even do this favor for you? You ignored my texts and calls the entire day.”

True that. True that.

You added, “And Taehyung as well. Don’t forget that you guys fucking ditched me this morning and still didn’t tell me where you went, so that was well deserved.”

You didn’t hesitate to mention him and Taehyung's suspicious behavior, yet he still doesn’t say anything about it.

“I understand…” Yoongi reasons with you, secretly rolling his eyes. “And I apologize.” His tone sounded forced like his apology.

You shake your head. “I have a request that's better than an apology.” Exchanging looks with Yoongi, a small grin appears on your lips. “How about you come with me this evening and then I’ll grant you my forgiveness?”

Yoongi blinks unimpressed with your words and it makes you beg. “Please Yoongi…” you pout a little. “Besides the shit with Jungkook, I was going to ask you regardless. I do want you by my side for support.”

And when you put it like that, he has no choice but to give in. After all, you are his best friend. 

His face softens. “Alright, fine I’ll go. I’ll just tell my boss that it’s a family emergency. Just tell me all the details.”

You explain everything to Yoongi…

“Formal wear… got it,” he notes with a nod. “But what are you going to wear?”

“I honestly don’t know… which is why I’m going to have you go get me something quick and pretty. I’ll text you my size in everything,” you say with confidence, putting your trust in him. “You know what to wear in these situations… me? Not so much.”

Are you sure you wanted to leave your outfit in his hands? Yoongi's hands?

His face lights up when a mischievous glint dances in his brown eyes, “Alright,” he agrees, having something up his sleeve. “I’ll be there by 6:30.”

“Okay and once again thank you, Yoongs.” You show him appreciation with a grateful smile. “ I’ll see you later!”

You both say bye before hanging up.

Seconds later, you throw your head into the fluffy pillow. What else is there to do? You thought.

Oh, right, that nap.

🏐🥊

You’re woken up from your slumber due to the loud knocks on your door. Once you get up, you walk out of your room with messy hair and blurred vision. When your eyesight clears, you see Yoongi with bags in his hands. 

“Yoongi...?” you mumble, processing being disturbed from your sleep.

It took a few rubs against the eyes until you noticed him all suited up. Your mind was blown and you couldn’t believe your eyes.

You were too busy admiring your best friend's jaw-dropping appearance, you couldn’t even form a proper sentence.

“Yoongi you…” you stutter, “Yoongi you look smoking hot.” Your compliment made him twirl in slow motion. 

“I know.” he looks around, arrogantly smiling his ass off. You playfully roll your eyes, letting him have his moment.

“Wait, how did you even get in here?” You ask, confused.

“Oh uh,” he points towards the hall, giving you a certain look. “Your roommate let me in because you weren’t answering the phone and I almost got caught.”

oh… her

“And she actually seems nice,” he says, slightly surprised. “She’s like the total opposite of what you say about her.”

“That's because she doesn't like me and I don't care. I don't like the bitch either.”  Your harsh words made Yoongi’s mouth snap shut, and he regretted what he just shared.

What did he expect? He knew that you didn’t like her and that you weren’t afraid to express it.

“Anyways!” you dismiss the idea of her with a smile. “What did you get me, friend?” 

After that does he want to show you what he purchased? Is it possible for you’ll hate him as much as your roommate?

When you walk towards Yoongi, you try to take a peek inside the red bags and he immediately pulls the bags away from you. “Don’t look in the bag just go change,” He demands, slowly handing you the bags. You nod your head, awkwardly listening to his instructions.

Rushing to the bathroom, you make sure to grab everything from your room on the way there and Yoongi flops on the couch, making himself comfortable while he waits for you patiently.

When you get in the bathroom your mind sets on those bags. With that being said, you ram through the bags like a kid on a Christmas morning.

Little did you know that the excitement in your veins would stop…

Yoongi was casually checking the time on his phone when he heard a scream. “YOONGI!” you violently scream, pissed off with what was in your hands. 

He freezes, slowly turning his head to the bathroom and the door flies open. You stand there in the doorway empty-handed with a blank expression.

You say out loud, “I’m not wearing that shit. I won’t, I refuse.” His eyes rolled to the back of his head with an idea of how this would go.

🏐🥊

“I hate you,” you sassed through a childish pout.

Yoongi ignored your attitude as he pulled into the parking lot. You were annoyed with him and he was annoyed with your nagging majority of the car ride. He was ready to lose his shit if another peep came from you, but your nagging came from him buying you a dress instead of getting something you wanted. 

A short, black, silky, revealing dress…

Getting out of the car, it was easy to notice Yoongi’s irritated expression and if we’re being honest it’s his fault, completely all his fault.

If he would’ve gone with something you wanted, you would’ve never opened your mouth and he wouldn’t have to hear your bullshit.

Why didn't you like dresses?

It’s not so much of you feeling insecure in them. It’s more of you refusing to step out of your comfort zone sticking to the comfort of jeans, sneakers, hoodies, shirts…

The comfort of being covered up, not exposed.

Honestly, the dress Yoongi bought was stunning without a doubt, but the fabric felt foreign against your skin and you weren’t used to your cleavage being exposed or wearing shoes that made you inches taller than you already were.

At least the dress complimented your figure. Thanks to the built-in corset.

You curse under your breath, tugging down the hem of the dress as it rode up your thighs. Yoongi hears the frustration in your voice and he glances over at you.

“You look good, okay?” He tiredly assures you again for the hundredth time. 

You might look it, but you sure as hell don’t feel it. It’s funny how a piece of clothing makes you question yourself, your whole appearance.

“How many times do I have to tell you?”

•nobody asked you to tell me.

“I didn’t even say anything this time!” You annoyingly mutter. “You said something first….” Your eyes shift downwards as you carefully watch your step.

He shook his head, keeping his eyes forward. “Because you keep complaining about the dress when you look perfectly fine. I get that it’s not what you wanted, but you need to step out of your comfort zone.”

He does have a point.

You barely get a word out when Yoongi continues, “Y/N you’ve been wearing tried-ass dress suits for the last 2 years. It’s time for a change, an upgrade.”

He side-eyes you, empathizing with his point. “But seriously, I wouldn’t let you walk out of the house looking like a mess. You look good Y/N, so embrace it and stop pouting like a child.”

Your frown turns into a smile, embracing the warmth of Yoongi’s words. Like usual, he’s always right. It’s good to step out of your comfort zone.

“I guess you’re right.”

“I’m always right.” He cracks a smile.

 “Stepping out of my comfort zone could help me explore different sides of myself,” you pause, in shock that these words were even coming from you. “And could strengthen my confidence.”

With that being said, Yoongi gives you a nod of approval. “Atta girl.” He pats you gently on the back and you feel a surge of pride.

As you approach the security at the front entrance, they check for indentation successfully and let you in shortly. Yoongi and you entered the venue, arms linked and complimenting each other's outfits. The grand entrance greeted us with sparkling chandeliers and the venue was stunning. 

• I swear it gets bigger, better, and prettier over the years

Both of you were blown away by the luxurious theme. It had this fancy vibe, with chandeliers sparkling overhead and the sound of laughter and excitement filling the air. The architecture was so put together, with intricate designs on the walls and shiny marble floors.

 Everywhere you looked, people were dressed in their finest attire, exuding an aura of sophistication and glamor. The contagious atmosphere was filled with grace and elegance. It felt good to be able to experience such a breathtaking environment once in a while.

You were feeling nostalgia from the sound of laughter and excitement in the air, mingling with the melodic tunes playing from the live band in the corner. 

It wasn’t new, but it was refreshing. It felt refreshing like how it did last year and the year before that...

Our linked arms served as a reminder of the bond we shared, as best friends, ready to immerse ourselves in the event. 

You walk through crowds of people with Yoongi by your side, searching for familiar faces. And then, there they were - your team, standing together, chatting and laughing.

“Come on, Yoongs.” You yank his arm, feeling your pace quicken. They noticed you quickly when you called them out, getting their attention. As you rushed forward, you greeted each of them with warm hugs and air kisses. 

The girls couldn't help but express their awe at your appearance. They’ve never seen you like this before. All girly looking, with makeup, in a dress and heels. 

You surprised them all by donning a beautiful dress that accentuates your natural beauty. 

Mindy, your sweet captain air kisses your cheek. "Y/N, you look stunning babes!" She shouted, eyes sparkling with admiration. The others nodded in agreement, their smiles widening. “That dress looks beautiful on you.”

Their compliments made your cheeks heat up and you start getting shy. “Thank you,” you reply, hiding your smile bashfully. “I appreciate all the compliments.”

You were too busy basking in the compliments, you realized that your best friend was standing right next to you, quiet as a mouse.

“Oh shit.” You laugh, pulling Yoongi closer. “I nearly forgot to introduce you all. Girls, this is my best friend, Yoongi. Yoongi, these are my teammates.”

“Hi, I’m Mindy. It’s nice to finally meet you.”

 She offered her hand, welcoming Yoongi with a dazzling smile. “It’s nice to meet you too.” He smiles, returning the kind gesture. 

Everyone else exchanged their friendly greetings individually.

“Where’s coach?” You asked the girls, looking around the venue for her face. “Wasn’t she supposed to be here before us?” Your question came from the scheduling. It said all coaches must be here before everyone.

Mindy responds, “Coach is running late, but I’m not sure why. She will be here before they start the speeches.”

•speeches!?!??

“In the meantime, let’s go sit. I got us a table in our own section.” Mindy signals to follow her and everyone follows suit, including you and Yoongi.

🏐🥊

After everyone sat down, we immediately started chatting about the event and other topics. It was great talking about something other than volleyball for once. Sometime later, Mindy suggested that she should order some drinks for the table.

Everyone agreed and she was about to head to the bar until she insisted you keep her company while she did so. You were a little confused, but you got up anyway and went with her. On the way there, it was quiet…

Real quiet.

Mindy seemed okay, but the silence was uncomfortable for you and it only made you wonder why she asked you to go with her.

You out of all people?

The both of you were walking towards the bar, allowing another moment of silence to pass and you didn’t notice, but Mindy looked at you. “Are you okay?”

You snap out of your thoughts and you look at her. “Yeah, I'm good. I’m just thinking about tonight and the possible outcomes.”

“Spill.” Mindy nudged your arm with hers, encouraging you to share your thoughts. “What’s the current mood?”

“I'm just okay… I guess,” you answer, truthfully with a nod. “If I'm being honest with you Mindy, I won’t be optimistic about this because I’m not expecting anything from it.”

You weren’t trying to sound like a Debbie Downer or dampen the vibe of the event, but it’s the truth. Getting recruited wasn’t your priority right now even though it probably should be.

You go on, “But you already know that I wasn’t hoping to get scouted, so what about you, Mindy? how are we feeling at the moment?" 

She turns her attention towards you, hearing the concern in your voice. “Is this your year?” You question her, expecting an immediate yes. However, you got the opposite. 

The shift in the air was noticeable after she went silent. She became more serious and her gaze dropped to her feet as you continued to walk. You follow suit, assuming that she doesn’t want to discuss it right now.

You finally made it to the bar and the waiter assisted you with the order of drinks for everyone. Mindy, after picking out drinks, turns to look at you.

“I apologize if you felt that I ignored you,” she softly apologizes, locking eyes with you to show sincerity. “It’s just that I’m all over the place and I don’t know where my head is at.” 

“Thats understandable, I get it.” You smile reassuringly. “It’s a lot to think about, especially when it’s your last year here and if you get recruited that means you’ll be leaving…” 

“Leaving in the middle of the season,” she said, snatching the words from your mouth. “Yeah, I know. That also means that I won’t be a part of the team and I won’t be captain anymore.” You hear the bummer in her tone as she speaks.

“You know…” Mindy sighs, looking down at her feet. “When I was talking about it with my parents earlier, I was so prepared and confident about getting recruited and leaving if so happens. But now that I’m here, I’m not so sure.”

Even though you didn’t have a strong friendship with the team or Mindy, seeing her like this was out of the ordinary for you. This wasn’t a side of your captain that you were used to.

 She wore a smile on her face and there was nothing in the world that could rain on her parade. She always had a positive attitude no matter the circumstances. 

You wondered why she was like this now.

Mindy brings her head up to look at you. You expected her Hazel eyes to be glowing like they usually do anytime you see her, but they were dimmed now.

She rests her arms on the counter top. "Volleyball is my life, Y/N. I don’t know what my life would be without it and I don’t want to experience that feeling ever.”

You give her your undivided attention as she proceeds to rant, “And if I don’t get recruited, for the most part, I think I’ll be okay and maybe a little dissapointed. Will I think that my hard work over the years was a waste? Yeah, but I won’t beat myself up about it.” 

“And you shouldn’t beat yourself up, Mindy,” you chimed in, in agreement. “You have long years of experience with volleyball for club, high school, and college and you have the skills to back it up.”

The conversation was interrupted by the waiter, who placed a platter full of sparkling colorful drinks in front of the two of you. Her attention was focused on the drinks as she carefully grabbed the platter.

“What I’m saying is that you can do this. You are an outstanding setter and outside hitter, who has the best leadership skills. Who wouldn’t want you on their team?” Your genuine positivity makes her beam, “Plus you’re still young. You have time to make it if tonight doesn’t go as planned. Just because it’s your last year doesn’t mean it’s your last chance.”

She nods in agreement, “You’re right.”  The corners of her mouth curl up in a gentle smile, as you make your way towards everyone seated in the section. “I should be thinking more like that.”

It's clear that she values your viewpoint and appreciates your insight.

“But seriously thank you, Y/N. Thank you for having this talk with me.” her smile grows wider. “I needed it.” 

“No need to thank me,” you reply warmly. “I’m always here if you need someone to talk to, I’ve always been here.”

“I know… and I regret not talking to you sooner. I didn’t realize how nice you were,” Mindy admits, her voice filled with sincerity.

You look at Mindy, shocked with widening eyes. “Oh, don’t give me that look girl,” she says with a hint of amusement. “You and I both know that you’re reserved and you tend to keep to yourself.”

You didn’t have a strong relationship with the girls. It’s insane because you’ve been on the same team for years.

•guilty as charged.

“Maybe… I am,” you give in with a defeated chuckle. “But I promise you it’s nothing personal. I’m just naturally like that.”

“Good to know. Now I feel that I get you more.” Her words flow with newfound understanding. “Stepping out of that shell and communicating more with the girls would us even stronger as a team.”

Mindy’s works sank as you thought about what she said.

“I’ll work on it-”

“Friends?” She asks you.

It caught you by surprise, but you exchange friendly smiles with her, and with a nod, you responded.  “Friends,” you smile, taking a drink off the platter.

Without realizing it, you and Mindy found yourselves standing in front of the girls, drinks in hand. You joined them and without missing a beat, everyone eagerly grabbed a drink and began to enjoy the moment together. 

🏐🥊

After enjoying the laughter, the banter, and the moments that were created with everyone, your social battery started to drain and you were in desperate need of alone time. 

You were craving it.

It was tough, but you managed to sneak away from the lively crowd. You can’t remember, but Yoongi wandered off somewhere, so you didn’t have a reason to stick around anymore. 

Searching for a quiet place, you found a cute and comfortable lounge that wasn’t occupied, so you decided to settle down there to relax a little.

You vibe to the music, scrolling through social media, getting lost in your thoughts. You came across a lot of Instagram posts of people being here this evening.

Shockingly, there were posts from damn near every school except your rival school, Harvard University.

It looks like they haven’t arrived yet.

Harvard University was another school that was populated with nothing, but rich preppy kids who lived off their parent's money. Money was no object to them…

But I guess all the money spent for each semester is worth it, right? It’s a perfect environment, students are provided with the best education, and they’re guaranteed top-notch resources and opportunities. There’s no question that Harvard was a great school… although the people there make it shitty.

If you didn't look, breathe, or smell a certain way you didn’t belong there and your background plays a huge role too. If you weren’t rich, you’re below everyone else and that’s why only particular people were seen there. Popular people, jocks, frats, cheerleaders, football players, and the list goes on. 

•shit like that is ridiculous

Thank god you went to a school that accepted everyone for them.

The point is that Harvard has been your rival school for years and just like your school, Harvard University is in the top 5 states for college sports. And just like your school, Harvard had an excellent sports program. And just like your school, everyone who graduated from that school who was on a sports team became a D-1 athlete.

Both school's sports teams were the best at what they did and every team you and Harvard have stumbled upon was crushed.

The only competition you had was each other.

It was like you were neck to neck with them every single time and you hated it just like you hated to admit that all of their sports teams were elite. 

That includes volleyball…

They’ve won all games and all tournaments, except last year. You remembered everything like yesterday...

Did people not expect them to try to pay for their win? Over winning it the fair way? The looks on them and their coach’s face said it all. They weren’t used to people who could keep up with their abilities.

Long story short, they cheated.

The coach had connections with the ref and that resulted in him announcing it as a tie, even though it was clear that we won.

 It ended up being a tie because they weren’t willing to admit that they were a beatable team.

And the year before that, you weren’t able to compete in the tournament due to the majority of players being seriously injured in the semifinals.  You had no choice but to forfeit.

Having to sit out your first year was such a bummer.

All you had to do was beat Harvard and become the state champions, but instead, you had to witness Harvard hold up the trophy.

The trophy had State Champions engraved on it.

It sucked watching them hold up that trophy. You hated how much you missed out on an opportunity to be crowned the state champions, but it’s fine.

This year you’re coming back even stronger. And this year when the tournament comes around, your team will take what’s rightfully theirs.

That trophy.

You are still seated, relaxing on the sofa until you feel a strange sensation creep up your spine. It was like someone’s presence was looming over you.

With a hint of unease, you take a brief second to look up and when you do you instantly regret it. Your heart skips a beat as your whole body flinches, nearly dropping your phone.

There he was, Jeon Jungkook who was standing in front of you only a foot away just casually staring, hard.

“It’s you…” you sigh while eyeing him down with disgust.

Jungkook stood in front of you with his outfit that commanded attention. He was dressed in a black sleek and stylish suit with white stripes that were tailored to perfection. Your eyes wander over all the intricate details and the fine craftsmanship of the suit. 

It was a designer suit for sure, which makes you wonder how a regular college student could afford a luxury piece like that.

You were familiar with the brand and they’re extremely expensive. A suit like that cost's money… too much money.

Looks like he outdone himself and went all out for this evening. Let’s hope his date does the same.

“… the most annoying human on the planet,” you finish, crossing your legs. “Why are you in my face?”

“Don’t be like that, beasty.” Hearing that stupid nickname gave you the icks. “Don’t pretend that I’m not your favorite.”

•lord, throw the whole boy away!

 “You aren’t.” 

After relentlessly bursting his bubble, you quickly glance at his biceps that were effortlessly bulging through his suit. It looked like his gains were ready to rip through the expensive material.

You ask, “What do you want?” 

“I saw that you were having fun by yourself.” he points out, resting against the wall, drink in hand. “and I couldn’t resist the opportunity to talk to you.”

“For what exactly?” You proceed to question him.

“Well, you do look lonely…” he comments, looking you up and down. “And I don’t see your date accompanying you,” he adds on, staring into your soul as he sips his drink.

•this boy is throwing hella shade 

Hella shade.

Having nothing to say, you remain silent and you let him continue. “So, tell me…” He leans off the wall. “Did you have a date or did you lie to save yourself from embarrassment?”

“For your information, i have a date Jungkook.” You scan the room, attempting to find Yoongi, but he’s out of range, and that makes you nervous.

“Where is he then?” Jungkook follows your eyes, looking behind his shoulder.

“Somewhere,” you claim while nonchalantly shrugging your shoulders. “He’s around here somewhere.” 

“Really?” Jungkook eyebrows shoot up in surprise when you nod your head in response. “Then how about I meet the lucky guy?” He indicates, smirk tugging at his lips.

•….

•say that again for me?

Suddenly, your throat tightens as if you were choking on your own words. 

This was a glass-shattering moment for you…

“Yeah,” you say, clearing your throat. “You can meet him if you really want to.”

“I really do.” Jungkook chuckles, poking his cheek with his tongue. “You come with a lot of luggage and I’m just curious to see who's carrying.”

•where’s Yoongi when I fucking need him?!?

You fix your posture, before looking Jungkook in the eye. “I told you that he’s somewhere around here. No clue where though…”

No matter how truthful your answer was,  Jungkook wasn’t taking it. “Let's find him, then. Come on I’ll help you,” he insists, offering his arm with a smirk. 

You coldly glare between his eyes and arm, letting your expressions do the talking for you. Without another word, you stood up striding past Jungkook leaving him standing like an idiot.

Walking through active huddles of people, you still couldn’t find any signs of Yoongi. Now you’re feeling shit tons of regret, knowing that Jungkook wasn’t going to let this go.

Your mind was so set on finding Yoongi and you didn’t realize that Jungkook was following your footsteps, not letting you out of his sight.

That was up until annoying jungkook grabbed your wrist and his grip prevented you from walking.

When you turn around, he sighs and gives you a look. “Just give it up. I know you’re lying and I get it.” You part your lips to speak, but he keeps going. “I know it’s a struggle finding someone who wants to deal with your ways.” He pulls you closer in mid-setence, “And you lied to me because you were ashamed.”

•lol. He did not just- okay.

“Says that one who can’t keep a stable relationship, even if their life depended on it,” You retorted with sarcasm, snatching your wrist away from Jungkook. “You should be ashamed of that.”

Your words hit a nerve in Jungkook when his jaw clenches before speaking, “And when’s the last time you were even in a relationship?” He retorts back, matching your low blow. 

“I can admit that it’s been a while, but I know poor Alex suffered dealing with you. Who wouldn’t?” 

The rumors that were going around about their breakup were messy. It got messier when people couldn’t resist adding fuel to the fire, putting words in their mouths, switching up the story, or putting the blame on one person.

People twisting the truth and spreading shit tons of gossip, you didn’t know what to believe.

“You have no business speaking on shit you don’t know about, so don’t speak about my relationship.”

“My relationship doesn't have shit to do with you, yet you brought it up!!” You yelled.

Shots were fired back and forth and the bickering continued between the both of you, ignoring the fact that you were standing in the middle of the floor, surrounded by crowds of people. 

You became overwhelmed with the screaming contest between you and Jungkook and your forced confession drowned out the noise of the argument. 

“I lied.” You loudly confess, the weight of your words hung in thin air. Silence wasted no time catching up with the both of you and all you hear is the faint melody of the music in the background.

“I came with my best friend and he was my date,” you admit with air quotes. “And now I can’t find him, but I only lied because it seems like you're always trying to one-up me and I’m so fucking sick of it.”

In that moment, you gave Jungkook a deadpan and he returned a mischievous smirk.

A mischievous smirk slowly spread across Jungkook's face, as if he had anticipated your confession all along.

He did.

Now that the weight wasn’t restraining you, it’s time for the real question. The important one.

Your expression hardened and you sneered, “All this mess about me, what about you? Where's your date?” You take a step closer, revealing how serious you are.

Jungkook reaches into his pocket, without breaking the intense eye contact. “She’s running a little late. I’m going to text her to check her status,” he says briefly, revealing his phone.

“Oh,” he exclaimed, surprised by what he was reading. “Looks like we spoke her up.” Jungkook glances at you flashing you with a sly grin. “She just texted and told me that she’s here.”

Jungkook, without another peep, walks towards the entrance. You don’t give him the chance you leave looking puzzled, so curiosity takes over you and you follow him through crowds of people.

He stops walking and you stop beside him, ready to uncover the mystery. Who is this girl?

You look over at Jungkook who was trying to adjust his tie to perfection.

•so extra for what?

 The door swings open, revealing a flood of blinding sunlight that makes a path like a red carpet. You watched as a group of girls entered the venue all dressed up with their heels. Their faces looked a bit familiar as they got closer, then there was this one individual that stood out, strutting in the room sprinkling her confidence everywhere.

Gaia Watson.

The captain of Harvard University’s volleyball team and she also happens to be another enemy of yours.

And just when you thought things couldn’t get any work, Jungkook calls her over. Hearing her name made your face contort with a mix of anger and displeasure.

•is it possible that she’s- no it’s not..

You were trying your best to conceal your emotions, but your body language betrays your frustration.  

“Wait… is Gaia your date, Jungkook?” You ask hoping it isn't true and if it was… chaos might just happen.

“Yes, she is.” He turns to look at you with a questionable look. “Is that a problem?”

•yeah.

“Why the fuck would I have a problem? That doesn’t have anything to do with me,” you shut down his question, crossing your arms, and bringing your attention back to Gaia. “I was just wondering…” you mumble to yourself.

Your blood started to boil as she approached you and Jungkook.

•!!!!!!!!

Surprise, surprise!

To be continued...

Taglist

@babybella337 @junecat18 @sublimewitchdreamer @Coralmusicblaze @busanbby-jjk @seokjingrande @snkyuv @seulrene

#bts smut #jungkook x reader #jungkook smut #minors dni #jeon jungkook #jungkook fic #jungkook au #bts #bts imagine #bts x reader #jeon jungkook smut #jungkook x you #bts jungkook

[cl00udyyanan]

Oh, you want some angst, huh? 😏

How about gn! Reader who gets tainted by Xiao's karmic debt but decides to not tell him bc they doesn't want to scare him?

But, unfortunately for them, they will not be able to hide their condition for long: they will die in front of Xiao, while suffering and screaming in agony, and he'll can't do anything to stop it, bc there's no cure for it.

love and it's sacrifices

synopsis: love makes you and xiao naive and selfish.

warnings: mc death, description of pain, angst with no comfort

character: xiao

notes: i edited this really late and i can't say it's any good but i hope ppl enjoy anyways

✄┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

"you're so silly," your arms wrapped around his slender neck, a smile dancing on your lips as you littered his neck with loving kisses. "i love you too much to let something like that deter me." you rest your head on his shoulder as you spoke.

the sun shone on your glistening skin, warm to the touch. it felt nice- all of this- being in xiao's arms, the wind playing around the two of you as you stood atop one of liyue's mountains. you had begged the adeptus to set aside his duties for once and indulge you in a nice picnic after hearing that he hadn't had one in almost 500 years. you couldn't let an opportunity to bask in the sun with him go. yet, as you were enjoying this moment, something was weighing on xiaos mind,

"you shouldn't be so naive. i've told you countless times that i have karmic debt. its dangerous. im dangerous." his words were softly muttered into the crown of your hair, he sighed, taking in your sacchrine vanilla scent. "...i don't want to hurt you." he moved long strokes against your back, relishing in the comfort you brought him. you felt so soft compared to him and he felt as you were so fragile he would break you.

"xiao, even if i loose my sight, or my lungs shrivel up and i can't breathe anymore. i'll still be by your side and love you all the same. it just makes my life all the more worth it."

he knew how stubborn you were and that no matter how much he wanted you to change your mind, you wouldn't. maybe he could be selfish just this once and bring you with him into his melancholy reality rust was his immortal life. he had a slimmer of hope that you could break his curse and maybe you'd be that one person who would stay by his side.

how naive he was.

one chilling night, xiao was out fufling his duties - and he had left you home alone. when he was gone, you would take short walks around the inn, the serenity of the flowing water and bright laterns gave you a relaxing feeling, which was something you seldom felt these days. night were longer and days were shorter with your chest constantly growing heavier with each breathe and every step you take more painful than the other. you never thought your adeptus boyfriend's debt to be real until you'd spend lonely nights sobbing at how your body burned, after having kept a facade all day to xiao that you were okay. that he wasn't slowly killing you every time he was near you.

you resented him, but you mostly resented yourself for lying to him. telling xiao you were okay when you were fucking not.

"hah-ha" your chest stung as you gripped at it as you were huddled over on the ground ears ringing your head being tugged and pulled by the horrid sensation. a dark swirl of green had surround you, enveloping you in a suffocating anguish. 'xiao' his name rolled of your tongue like a silent plea that you incoherently babble over and over, but your begs turned into whistles in the air. just when the pain began, it was over.

xiao had found you, passed out on the wood flooring the next morning, his eye wide and brows kneaded with concern. you'd simply told him that the wood was seemingly comfortable that night, he'd shrugged it off as 'weird human behavior'. you never told him what happened that night, leaving it as a bitter memory that'd bring you to tears on your pillow in the night.

since then, days begun to feel longer; the sun lost its shine and the moon seemed to mock you high up in the sky. you'd give it a longing look at the wee hours of the night, pondering endlessly.

was it worth it? the question would come up every now and then.

of course it was, you respond.

your stomach churn and grind, your legs turn into lead as you plummeted onto jagged ground, the grass cradling your abused body. eyes bleary as you hyperventilated. you said- no- screamed his name with winded breath. uncontrollable sobs falling from you. your body burned with a gnawing feeling, like your whole body was being spilt and torn in half. the draft of air became all too familar, that suffocating feeling returned, you felt the weight of all of your sins crawl through you. not only yours, but his. his karmic debt that you oh so tried to deny that was real. yet, every waking day when a sense of yours slowly deplted, your eyes sight worsening and blurrying, your hearing weakened and smells that you once loved had nothing but an empty sense of joy, inside you knew, that it was his karma affeccting you. you had turned into a product of his sins, he'd never be able to truly love someone, and you were so foolish to think you could defy the law of the adepti. that the rule didn't apply to you,.

you were naive just as he said, and you'd pay for your ignorance.

"no-no...please" xiao stumbled over to your mutturing and confused body. his knees scraping against the terrain as he pulled your body to his. you clutched to his shirt, shouting into his chest. he cupped your face, searching all over at your tormented expression. your face was red, stress lines scattered as you babbled and scream into him.

your cries became louder, the pain you felt was something no human should ever experience, and in his attempt to console you and save you. his presence made the air thicker, your lungs completely overtaken by his dark energy. you clawed at his shirt, practically ripping it open. you wanted to thrash at him, blame him for what he had done to you. he couldn't understand the horrendous feeling it was what he was causing.

"yn..." he spat your name out like venom, his cheeks red with anger and eyes full of tears. "why didn't you listen to me?" he shrieked, his fists balled up to your collar as he curled over your weakened corpse. he watched as the color left your skin that once glistened in the sun, your eyes soulless as m tears that had flown down your checks were dry. the yakshas's yells turned into quiet sobs, as he slowly realized what he has caused. darkness devoured him whole, eating at his heart and his mind. his light faded in his arms, it was then he became a husk of a man with no drive left in him. his motivation and ambition, his love and reason for living died in his arms.

he was left alone again in the world with only his debt to console him.

#genshin impact #genshin fluff #genshin impact headcanons #genshin headcanons #genshin impact scenarios #genshin impact fluff #genshin scenarios #genshin x reader #xiao x reader #xiao #xiao scenarios #xiao headcanons #xiao angst #xiao x gn reader #xiao genshin impact #xiao fluff #adeptus xiao

[mouserdiscourse]

I understand why people cling so desperately to medical models, especially in contexts where your suffering is validated by the idea that you MUST have x to be like y, but like. Longer you live and the more people you talk to, the more you realise the world just doesnt work like that lmao. esp when you bring the human brain into it.

We Do Not Know How The Mind Works. We just dont. We guess. All the time. But to say "x literally just doesnt happen" is a basic misunderstanding of physical reality. you NEED to take a philosophy class or something. it deals psychic damage to me when people make impossible assertions like theyre "proven" by psychology

For ANY issue you have, theres someone without your history with the same exact issue. This doesnt mean your wasnt caused by trauma, but it does mean "well, at least I know BECAUSE you can ONLY have distinct parts if youve been traumatized" is inherently flawed bc thats never been proven, nor has it ever even Attempted to be proven, because no one in the medical field thinks thats a question worth asking. Because it isnt

#syscourse

[kingsis]

@bleedingbonemarrow

Aha I hate not being able to edit asks (killing killing)

ANYWAY.

I imagine he's hard to get through to. I see a lot of myself in his personality, especially back in highschool, so I can pretty accurately describe what's up in his mind.

He hates himself. Thoroughly. Cannot stand himself. Every time he looks in the mirror, he can't recognize his own face. He's too much, he's not enough, he's nothing, he'll never be Right. Any compliment slides off of him like water. He doesn't believe you. He disassociates often. His reality is warped, in his mind, to always be against him.

So naturally, he smiles it away. He pretends he's better than everyone else. Because he's terrified of telling anyone he's... not. Telling anyone that he's trapped in his own "skin" and he hates it.

Yknow that Springtrap frame where he's tearing apart his own head? Yeah Spamton would try it, at least once.

He's a failure in a city that only cares about success. About how much you're worth. He definitely has trauma from his Addison days, as well as when he was bullied in the mansion. His friends and possibly family left him. He's uh. Really lonely.

He thinks kindness is a weakness to exploit. To manipulate. Because that's what happened to him. He isn't mean per se, but he doesn't go out of his way to be nice either. Not to mention the one person he put his trust into kinda fuckin disappeared. He isn't exactly jumping at an opportunity to "make friends"

He's clinging to his old fame like a fucking lifeline. Because acknowledging himself Now would break him. A puppet tied up in strings. He's not even in control of his own life. He values choices so much, he can't help giving them out like candy. "Choose this thing, it's your choice I won't force you, but choose it."

All that being said, he's also just. Happy to have fun, I think. I read a fic where he constantly tries to jumpscare Reader when they visit. I love that. The idea of him playing pranks on.. well, his would be friends, is really cute to me. I doubt he would do something as extreme as dunking them in acid or anything, but tripping them or scaring them feels like something he would do.

An important thing ppl tend to miss is that he wants people to Suffer, but not to Die. He gets mad in snow grave because you ruined the fun. You killed everyone And you're stealing the fountain? What's he supposed to do afterwards?!? He wants to rule the city, not destroy it.

I feel like, after peeling away his walls, he's generally a silly guy. And seriously loyal. I mean, he's Still protecting Mike's name, even after supposedly Years of not seeing him. He's ride or die for anyone he cares about. And those people get to see him be a bit goofier.

There's like. 7 million more things I want to say but I am. Tired of typing on my phone 👍

#ask #bleedingbonemarrow #headcanon

[pttucker]

Dokja has a star! 😭 Finally, he gets to know what it's like to be an actual constellation.

And I'm guessing that now he'll be able to flip back and forth between being a Demon King and being an angel like Michael can?? Or has he flipped completely? He did mention in the last few chapters "maybe I'll just stop being a demon king" so...

Oh man, but I'm not certain I like the whole "are you worthy" thing going on inside the Fruit of Good and Evil. (Or inside Dokja's mind?? In some random space in the Star Stream somewhere???)

And again, as I read his story… – Wouldn't it be fine for him to just die during this turn, instead? …Wait, did I ever write a comment like that before? – The story is going down the drain, so maybe it's time to go back? see ya Now, it was Yoo Joonghyuk's 662th turn. I was a university student by then, still typing away on a keyboard. – Joonghyuk is going to die again, yes? The words I committed to record were in full display here. All those words that I spat out under the excuse of being hurt by life and exhausted by living itself, they were coming back inside my brain. – Please, can you skip the earlier scenarios? It's getting repetitive. …I couldn't say anything, not anymore. ['Fruit of Good and Evil' speaks to you. 'That is the total worth of the story you told as if it was your entire life'.] The tips of my fingers began trembling.

Oh man, Dokja's barely been able to look at Jang Hayoung because it was his comments that brought about her being created and now we have this.

Joonghyuk is already upset that Dokja has been reading about his life all this time and then lied about being a prophet (though really how would that conversation have gone? "oh btw you're a character in a book," not to mention the filtering...) and now we have these careless comments which may have influenced the author and resulted in Joonghyuk's death / more suffering. In fact, they almost certainly did influence the author because Dokja has actual living proof in Jang Hayoung that the author was willing to cater to the only reader who finished the novel.

['Fruit of Good and Evil' speaks to you. 'You, who have deceived the entire world by relying on the story only you know, and lived until now… Do you possess the right to be saved?] From some place deep in my chest, I thought I heard something break. The whole world seemed to be shaking in my eyes.

This is not good. I do not like this.

Dokja is already feeling guilty about everything and can barely accept his party's forgiveness (or, rather, his party's insistence that there's not really anything to forgive because he's proven time and again that he never saw them as mere words on a page) and now he's thinking about all these unintentionally mean comments he left on a story that he never would have guessed in a million years would become reality.

AND NOW ANNA CROFT CAN APPARENTLY SEE HIS FUTURE??? AND SAYS JOONGHYUK WILL KILL HIM??? AHHHHHHH.

I am so not thrilled that the lady who's literally known for betraying people can now apparently see Dokja's future. That's just great.

And now we have this prophecy combined with the fact that Fruit is making him feel like garbage. Oh! And let's not forget! He's feeling even more emotional than usual because Fourth Wall is almost completely down and my guy has absolutely no experience in dealing with said emotions because Fourth Wall was always there for him. (And because he was a complete and absolute bullied loner in his "before" life.) So that's great!

Ughhhh I'm just so worried...

WHAT IF DOKJA DOESN'T EVEN TRY TO CONVINCE HIM AND INSTEAD JUST LET'S JOONGHYUK KILL HIM!!!

Ahhhhhhhhhhhh. I want to say that's not going to happen but then I just remembered that Dokja is the successor to the Underworld. So it's very possible for him to die without ORV ending. So...yeah. 😬

[You have brought the 'Fake Revelation' to reality.] [You have achieved an unbelievable accomplishment!] [You have acquired an ungradable Story.] [You have acquired the Story, 'Architect of Revelation'!]

On a different note, we also have this. I figured either Dokja or Joonghyuk was going to defeat Michael and make the revelation true but now I'm actually wondering…do Dokja's revelations come true no matter what because they are real revelations? Like, we've been explicitly shown in this arc that Dokja, both knowingly and unknowingly, can affect both objects and people in TWSA, at least when the Fourth Wall is thin. (And could apparently affect the story even when he was outside it via his comments...)

So, by putting something directly through the hole in the Fourth Wall, is Dokja making it reality? Without even knowing it?

...Quick Sangah throw out a "Kim Dokja and Yoo Joonghyuk will be the bestest of friends" revelation.

#actually maybe it'll be Sangah who'll make Dokja realize that he didn't really do anything wrong per se? #cause she has access to everything so if there's one person who can see the big picture and 'judge' him that he might listen to... #orv novel chapter 367 #orv #omniscient reader's viewpoint #orv liveblog #orv spoilers #kdj #yjh #anna croft

[the-bjd-community-confess]

CW: Sexualization of (fictional) minors discussion

Mod: Gonna put these in batch posts from now on because I think Anons have important things to say on this topic, but I also want people to be able to avoid this topic easily for obvious reasons 💜

1. if you think dolls matter in the discussion of abuse against children i really really hope you get well soon, because if anyone is out of touch with reality and desensitized to the suffering of real human people, it's you. fiction isn't real. nothing, nothing, nothing that happens in fiction, or with inanimate objects for that matter, is worth talking about in a discussion as serious and heavy as the abuse of children. for god's sake, stop equating your personal icky-wicky with real-world crime.

~Anonymous

2. Since when the hell is the BJD hobby minor-adjacent? The hobby featuring $1000 dolls with articulated penises is minor-adjacent??? Listen I /agree/ with your base point but don't try to make that point with flat-out bullshit. If BJDs are minor-adjacent just by being ?? dolls?? then that would also mean the same thing for love dolls, too -- because they're all dolls, right? Get out of here. Just because there are dolls for kids doesn't mean the dolls for adults are meant for minors, too, come on.

~Anonymous

Mod: putting this here since I think it was the AP doll that spawned this discussion originally

3. I agree with you anon, but unfortunately you're missing the key conceit in the posts of people complaining about AP dolls. It isn't about learning to live with things which fall outside of our preferences for them -- it's about Having the Correct Opinions so that they can feel superior to, and slam those with whom they disagree. Apply that to basically any online discourse and that's what it boils down to. No one wants nuance, they want a side they can pick: then to watch the other side burn.

~Anonymous

4. TW CSA mention sorry this isn't about dolls but it's really important!! Please DO report things you think are causing harm to minors to the police/authorities as much as possible. I'm begging you, if you truly believe children are being harmed, why are you making drama about it on the internet when you could be actually making an irl difference? And if you don't actually believe minors are being abused by something, it's OK to say you think it's gross and move on if you feel that way! That's fine, not everyone likes everything! But if you think it's hurting people why tf are you not doing something to help and just laughing at the idea that you would ever take it seriously? All this talk about being desensitized and yet people like you are being like "OK pedo" online but not reporting someone you believe is actually! hurting! children! As a CSA survivor it's scary as fuck!

~Anonymous

#BJD #ABJD #BJD Confessions #Community Confessions

[moths-in-a-coat]

calling house of leaves a horror book is a bit misleading. yes, there are horror elements but the house itself doesn’t really belong in the horror genre to me.

the house is really only scary to the occupants because it defies what they know to be true. it breaks the fundamental laws of physics and is just something unexplainable. it doesn’t do much outside of that to be honest.

the house to me feels more like a lonely being that only scares people because it’s very existence causes fear. the house only significantly changes and reveals itself as something that can be feared once the occupants leave for a month on vacation. it’s almost like the house is crying for attention. a way to say “hey! look at me!” in the only way it knows how. by changing. it feels unintentionally scary, not something malicious

the house doesn’t even harm anyone outside of tom. it only ends up killing tom when they try to leave the house for what seems like good. it doesn’t want to be alone again so it tries to keep its people with it for as long as possible.

it even interacts with the occupants by changing itself to suit the expectations of them. navidson once he makes his final expedition into the house finds the journey to be surprisingly easy at first, but only after he wishes for it to be like that. the house seems to only become difficult to navigate once navidson tries to leave as evident by the staircase elongating when he tries to leave after they rescue the others.

i feel like if the house was purposely malicious, there would have been foreshadowing through sinister vibes of the house or it being off putting in some way, but that’s never present before the fact its bigger on the inside is shown.

again, the house is scary because it seems like defying what you know (or think) to be fundamental truths that you don’t question about the universe to be the only reason it’s scary in the first place. and this is where i would like to draw a comparison to pelafina and her experiences with mental health.

as seen through her letters we can see thar she suffers from delusions and warped perspectives of the world. despite that, she views her delusions as incredibly real and unquestionable when she has them.

when things start to change though (ie the appearance of the“new director” and how pelafina is convinced he is going to harm her at one point despite being the old director who she liked and said was a good to her) she becomes distressed and scared. she finds the world something to be feared in her times of delusions as evident by her reasoning behind attempting to kill johnny before she was institutionalized.

to be more clear, she rationalizes killing johnny as something good because it will save him the pain of living in this world. when pelafina goes into this state of distortion, she becomes paranoid and as seen in her letters has trouble differentiating reality from her delusions. she goes through a time where she thinks the workers at the institution are only changing her bedding once a week when they change them once a day, and once she views it that way she wants to get away from the institution.

simply put, she’s scared of the world because it defies what she thinks to be true. it lies to her and deceives her and tricks her. which is so incredibly similar to how the occupants of the house view the house itself.

and the world, similarly to the house, is not an inherently malicious thing. yes, bad things can happen in the world but that doesn’t mean there is no good. yes, the house can be scary, but it doesn’t have to be.

to me house of leaves is a book told through a story from a boy to his mother about a house that lies to you but doesn’t mean to hurt you. it is about the tragedy of your mind lying to you and how rightfully scary that can be. it’s about how despite the fear that comes with living, it can be worth living if only to meet people, no matter how fleeting your interactions may be.

it’s about the love shared between a mother and a son, between you and the strangers on a street, between you and your friends and family, between you and every single relationship you’ll have in your life and how they stay with you for as long as you live and then some

no, the house of leaves does not read like a horror story to me at all

#if this is not coherent that’s bc it’s 2am and i just finished this book like an hour ago #the moth talks #house of leaves

[headpainmigraine]

do you have any tips for those who suffer from hemiplegic migraines? i feel like im going insane, and the anxiety i experience afterwards is phenomenal. i feel so terrified and alone from it

I'm so sorry, I didn't see this until just now - tumblr, it's a website that works.

Please bear with me if I tell you something you already know.

Hemiplegic migraine is a slightly different animal to other migraine types because of its mimicry of stroke symptoms, and because of that I usually avoid talking about it in any depth, because I don't have personal experience with them.

It's treatment is also a little different because the use of triptans to help the migraine is contraindicated because it restricts blood vessels, and doctors are leery of prescribing them to people suffering stroke-like symptoms

The best thing I can do in regards to helping with the actual diagnosis is point you towards people who know about these kinds of things, and not the usual mayo clinic, etc websites.

Headaches.org

The Migraine Trust

The American Migraine Foundation

All those are websites with a focus on migraine, who are more likely to give you accurate information.

I've linked what I could find there on hemiplegic migraine in particular, but it's worth having a look around them to see what info you can find.

So, a doctor/neurologist/specialist is going to be your best bet for actual physical help. Any tips I could offer would be to try the non-medicinal help for other migraines that might also help you, eg, sunglasses, cooling patches, ginger for nausea, and so on - I can talk to you a little more about them if you think that'd be helpful, if you want?

But that isn't what's bothering you though. I don't know how frequent your attacks are, or what your support situation is like at home.

I can tell you that feeling scared makes a ton of sense. Sometimes it can feel like your pain isn't going to end. I've had times when I've thought 'this is it, this is the pain that's going to kill me', and I've had hallucinations that made me doubt my reality. I can imagine part of how terrifying it is to have half of your body suddenly stop resonding to you.

It's a scary thing, and you have every right to feel scared.

And I know that it's difficult in the moment, while you're inside the thing, to have a rational conversation with yourself, but I find arming myself with knowledge is the best weapon against my freaking out when it happens.

Not knowing what's happening to you is maybe more frightening than the actual experience of what's happening to you. Learning as much as I can about the mechanisms of migraine has done a lot to help me understand what's happening in my body, and when and why (as far as they know) and it's weird how much that helps, it takes away the "unknown" and "what if" of everything.

It's also helped me realise when I'm in predrome or having an aura, because I know those symptoms now and can keep a better eye out for them

That said, having a good support system really helps, and I'm fortunate enough to have one in my parents and sister. If you live with someone who is open to understanding and listening to you, it's a good idea to tell them things about your migraines.

I voice my symptoms to my family all the time. I'll say out loud that I'm having a headache, or feeling dizzy, or if I feel restless or grumpy - half of it is to track my symptoms, because I'm crap at doing that by myself, and the other is because often they're better able to see a migraine is coming from what I'm saying than I am myself - it's harder to see when you're inside it.

They can help when I'm hallucinating too. If I smell or hear something that I don't trust is there, I can ask someone to verify that it isn't, or is, and can take meds or at least prepare from there.

Getting someone to remind you while you're having an attack that it will pass, that you've been through them before, and that you know what it is, might help with feelings of anxiety or panic at the time. If you can't rely on yourself, it's okay to ask others to do it for you.

Remember that what's happening to you is a physical, neurological process. It's an actual disease, and not in your head. There's a cascade of activity moving through your brain, and it's making your brain fire off in weird ways that you don't really want. As far as your brain is concerned, it got a signal, now it's going to do a thing.

It's not a bolt from the sky torturing you with some kind of magician's curse. You can't help it, it's just the same as having a pulled muscle, or diabetes. It's just an error in the way your body works, but it's one we know about it and more and more research is being done to help us understand and attack these things.

On that note, while triptans aren't recommended for hemiplegic migraines, the new meds, gepants and ditans, are (as far as I'm aware, ditans for sure). That's huge news for migraineurs, and something you should talk to your neuro about - assuming you have one.

All I can say for after the attack is to be kind to yourself. You feel like a cracked teacup, no need to bash yourself around anymore than the migraine already has. If you've got little things that make you happy, like taking a bath or listening to bird song or anything, indulge in it. Rest, maybe with a comfort show on TV.

You've just been through a storm, body AND brain, and you need to make yourself have some space in the postdrome to slowly pick yourself back up.

It might also be worth speaking to a pain therapist. YOU'RE NOT CRAZY. They'd be there to help you process what you're going through. The human body wasn't meant to be in constant pain, it wasn't meant to lose sudden control of itself for no reason, and it's a lot to put on someone, especially when their disease is so rare, as hemiplegic migraines are.

I've actually been thinking about trying to find one myself, mostly to help me work through the unending rage, but it could help you with your feelings of anxiety in regards to your hemiplegic migraines.

I'm so sorry I can't offer you anything more than that. It might help to connect with other people who suffer with hemiplegic migraines here, to share experiences, and you can always drop a message here if you want to talk to me about migraines in general.

The cripplepunk/spoonie community as a whole has been a help to me too, especially trying to learn to let myself feel angry and bitter and unashamed. It's nice to have a space to be shouty and angry about your disability, and to really feel that you have community.

I think the only other thing I could leave you with is to talk, not necessarily to anyone in particular, maybe just in a sideblog even.

Talk about how you feel, what you're experiencing, how much it sucks, what you've learned about it, anything. Bitching lets you vent it all out, helps other people understand what you're going through and lets you leave it on the net if you do it online.

I'm constantly shouting into the wind on this blog about my disabilities and it's really helped.

I'm so sorry I can't do anything more, and sorry again that this is late. Let me know if you wanna talk about anything more, or if you've got any questions about migraines in general, I'll do my best. I hope this helps