#time? what is my worth if i can't put 200% into everything and do ALL the things for everyone? what is my worth if i'm not doing My Best?

[blueskittlesart]

Tell me your thoughts on the link is dead in MM theory?

yeah ok. i feel like it's pretty widely known at this point that i do not care for it but let's really go into why. in the post that i assume prompted this ask i compared it to a similar permadeath botw theory in that i feel both theories only work if one ignores the central theme of the game in question. in terms of theme, majora's mask and botw are quite similar. both feature a highly traumatized link after a hard-reset of his life and follow the beginning of his healing process.

majora's mask features the hero of time after the timeline reset. He is physically a nine-year-old boy, but he has spent significant time in the body of a sixteen-year old and he has spent much of his life essentially as a child soldier without any regard for his feelings. he has fought monsters that adults twice his size and age refused to get within 200 feet of, and NO ONE REMEMBERS THIS, because in order to restore hyrule to what it once was he went back and stopped it all before it even began. understanding what has been done to link and how he remembers the events of oot are crucial to understanding mm.

now we have the actual setting of mm, termina. termina is deliberately strange and off-putting immediately upon entering it. you as the player are meant to pick up on the fact that something is off about your surroundings. the entire game plays this up--something is Wrong about termina. you're never supposed to be completely sure if it's real or a dreamscape. truly, i don't fault people for looking at a deliberately offputting, dreamlike, horror-filled world like termina and equating it to some sort of afterlife. the skull kid himself is often interpreted as a metaphor for death in oot--being a child who wandered into the forest and never came out. (i personally see it more as a reflection of oot's greater themes of coming-of-age and adult/child relationships, but that's a point for another post.) i do understand that the evidence for the theory is THERE, and that the tendency to want to explain away the offputting environment of termina as link being dead is kind of natural. but I think it's worth examining WHY termina is the way it is; how its weird vibe ties back to mm's central themes and link's story arc within it. and when you do, in my opinion, the theory falls apart pretty quickly.

majora's mask is a story about healing from trauma. Link, as previously mentioned, is a child soldier who feels trapped between childhood and adulthood and who has seen firsthand that nothing he does matters because in the end no one but him will remember it. termina is designed to enforce this point of view, initially. link can do everything in his power to help the people of termina, to fix their problems, to be a good kid, but at the end of those 3 days no matter what he does the moon will always come crashing down and he will always have to reset. no one will remember him. he can't change anything, not really. but as you play through the game, you find one thing that DOESN'T go away with each reset--the masks. these are given as rewards for link's good deeds--physical representations of the good he has done, even after everything resets. even though he remains trapped in this cycle, he gains a little something for every person he helps, something that can't be taken away from him. he begins to have hope that everything he does isn't in vain. he begins to HEAL.

on the final cycle, when you've completed all the dungeons and you stop the moon, the game performs a check to see if you have all the masks. if you've done every one of the side quests and helped the people in termina, even though they don't remember it. the check comes in the form of a game of hide-and-seek, a metaphorical return to the childhood that link feels he has lost. if every mask has been collected, link receives the fierce diety mask, making the final battle with majora quite a bit easier. he becomes more powerful because he has taken the time to grow and heal and learn that what he does matters no matter if people remember him or not. this is a central point of majora's mask. and when he wins, when he comes out the other side, the message that greets the player is "Dawn of a new day." a promise that the story will continue. a promise of many more days to come. a promise that the cycle has been broken and everyone in termina, link included, can finally begin to truly live.

again, i think the tendency to equate an obviously metaphorical dreamlike world like termina to an afterlife is somewhat natural. but to suggest that link is dead in the context of a game that is fundamentally about link HEALING and continuing to LIVE is kind of ridiculous imo. a world can be strange and function as a metaphor without being an afterlife. the tendency to try to explain termina's oddity is natural, but the fact that it's not explained is part of the point. whether it really exists or not doesn't matter, what matters is that the spiritual journey link went on DID happen, and he came out the other side able to continue living. he broke the cycle. now a new day can begin. THAT is the point of majora's mask. if link is dead, then that point loses ALL of its impact. what awaits link after breaking termina's cycle if he's dead?? to me, it's tantamount to suggesting his fate WAS sealed. that it's TRUE that nothing he did mattered and he was too late to truly change anything. nothing you do matters when you're dead. mm just functions so much better on a thematic level if link is allowed to continue living in the aftermath.

#asks #zelda analysis #this isnt the first time ive explained this but the zelda fandom never ceases with its bad takes sooo

[reasonsforhope]

I’m scared, and I’m sad. I look at positive news every day, but sometimes things happen that make me derail. What can I do?

It's natural to be scared and sad about this stuff. We live in a world that gives us more information about more people than we were ever designed to handle. And a lot of that information is about really upsetting, tragic, or horrific things.

What I try to do whenever I start to feel like I'm falling into despair, I try to remember to take a long view of history.

Change isn't often visible in the short term because change is so chaotic. But in physics - and I would argue therefore for organisms and humanity as well - chaos at the micro level creates stability at the macro level.

The fact is, statistically, this IS the best time to be alive. It really doesn't feel like it a lot of the time, but it is.

But a lot of things still suck, and sometimes it feels like all the reasons in the world are slipping through your fingers. It can be very easy, sometimes, to give into the despair in the face of all the things humanity has done, to ourselves and to each other.

Here's the one fact I hold on to with all my strength, when all else fails. The one thing that is too powerful to slip through my fingers:

For almost all of human history, until the past roughly 200 years, the child mortality rate was about 50%.

Sure, it varied based on location and century and the hygiene practices of the dominant culture. But overall, it was about 50%, with child morality defined as any infant or child who dies before their 15th birthday.

That means that half of all people born died before their 15th birthday.

Most of human history, as famous journalist and nonfiction author Bill Bryson puts it, was "overwhelmingly a place of tiny coffins."

Imagine how fucking awful that would be to live with. Imagine all the extra grief and pain and suffering flooding the world.

That fact alone basically guarantees that ever single person who ever lived, until very, very recently, was traumatized, or died before they could be. And that's leaving out the rampant trauma of famine, nonfatal disease, exposure, violence, and everything else that can come from a lack of resources or just the brutal vagaries of nature.

But we don't live in that world anymore. We live in a world where we have reduced child mortality from 40% to 3.7% in just two hundred years.

And those rates are going to keep falling as developing nations with higher child mortality rates get access to better infrastructure, medical care, and resource distribution.

So this is what I cling to, when I can cling to nothing else: no matter how bad things are, no matter how much technology fucks things up, technology and progress have freed us from the hell of half of all our children dying.

We have already done so, so much to free ourselves from one of - if not the - absolute worst curses of human existence

The world has improved so, so much more that most people can even imagine - more than our ancestors could have ever expected - just from that one fact. In just a couple of centuries.

What isn't that worth? Very, very, very little, I'd argue.

The challenges we're facing are formidable. Just a few years ago, they looked insurmountable. From child mortality to climate change, we still have so much more to do.

But if we can save ourselves and our children from a mortality rate that was, for almost all of human history, an inevitable part of the human condition...

Then what can't we do? What won't we be able to achieve, in the end?

Again, I'd argue: very, very, very little.

#toastedsmoreo #ask #hope #hope posting #child mortality #cw child death #cw death #cw infant death #children #infants and toddlers #public health #global health #progress and development #good news #hopeposting #hopepunk #faith in humanity #me #advice

[edelweiss-coffee]

i love your blogs aesthetic!!! can you write some eddie fluff where he notices his crush loves to draw flowers as a way to relax from the anxiety around the upside down and always borrows the library's flower books to use as references that he buys her a book of her own?

ofhwofhowehf I LOVE THIS SO MUCH

"you comin', y/n?" eddie coos softly to you.

without lookin up from your sketchbook, you nod.

"yeah, just let me finish up this linework..." you squeeze out.

"my little van gogh," he whispers, believing he's out of earshot.

"not van gogh, eds, just mentally ill," you drone, as you pack up your markers.

"did not think you could hear me. come on, we're gonna go see if dustin's girlfriend will give us the background we need for this new campaign."

"that's why we're going all the way up weathertop?"

"yeah, babe. cerebro?" he motions like he's holding a walkie-talkie.

"that’s right. sorry."

while tying up your shoes, your mind swirls with nervous energy. after all the shit you've seen in the last month, your thought process is thoroughly deteriorated. you don't have a second of peace unless you're engulfed in your sketchbook, trying to paint the very picture of serenity. everything just feels so, so bad.

"y'ready, honey?"

"yeah, eds, i'm ready. let's go check out cerebro."

it's only about a ten minute drive to weathertop, but you have to take your sketchbook out again on the way there. you open up your plant encyclopedia and turn to the limited section of florals. setting it next to you on the van's seat, you draw in your sketchbook while admiring a lily-of-the-valley.

"sweet girl," eddie sighs, sneaking glances at you when the road doesn't demand is attention. "you've been nose deep in that sketchbook for what? a week? talk to me."

he reaches over and squeezes your thigh.

"makes me feel better, eds. i'm havin' a hard time. told you this already."

"yeah, i know you told me. i just mean maybe talkin' about it will help it go away."

"talking about it will make me spiral. i don't like to 'cos i won't stop talking, and i'll start crying, and talkin' in circles, and it'll ruin the entire day. i'm sorry." you look up.

"i get it, angel. don't have to explain, or feel bad." he pulls the van over.

"what are you drawin, then?" he snatches up your sketchbook, flips through the pages.

"baby..." his mouth hangs agape.

"babe. these are fucking incredible. why so many lily-of-the-valleys? not a bad thing, they're so pretty. but are they special to you?"

you shake your head, and point at the botanicals book.

"there's only a few flowers in here. i can't draw anything from memory, so now i've got half a sketchbook full of one flower... but it helps."

"oh, my god, y/n. oh my god. hold on." he reaches into the center console.

"what're you doing, eds?"

"just hold on a minute, honey."

he puts the van in drive again and turns it around.

"eddie, where are we going?" you laugh.

"couldya just be patient? it'll be worth it. i promise."

within a few minutes, eddie is parking the van again.

"i'll be right back, okay?" he huffs.

you're on the commercial street of hawkins. boutiques, hawkins post, and the supermarket are here. you don't really hang around here often. he's left you with your thoughts again.

what is he doing?

ah, there he is, holding a blue paper bag. he opens up the driver's door and slides in.

"gotcha somethin'," he breathes.

he hands you the bag.

"eddie, what--" you open it. a book?

flowers, a golden guide. a guide to 200 of the most common wildflowers.

you are absolutely astonished.

"eddie, thank you! thank you so, so much. they only had a foliage one and this botanicals one at the library! thank you so much, eddie. this is so, so special to me."

his smile could put every single streetlight to shame.

"'m so glad you love it, baby. if it's flowers that you love, then flowers you shall have." he leans in until his forehead is touching yours.

" i love you the most, y/n."

"i love you even more."

#eddie munson x yn #eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #stranger things fic #eddie munson fic #eddie munson imagine #eddie munson fluff #asks

[missmayhemvr]

Do we stay or do we go

i have a serious question to my brother and sisters, all those stolen of africa and those that immigrated from their of their own volition and the generations that came after.

ive been doing a lot of listening to the goings on in the world, and ive been learning of our past and our history and philosophy and i have a question that we of the diaspora(not counting the islands in many regards and you'll see why) have not seemed to really be able to qive a definitive response to in the over 200 years since i've first seen this question be raised, and yes the context is different today from when it was first asked, and you may have guess what the question really is.

Do we stay and fight this oncoming wave of fascism and antiblackness that is sweeping through Europe and its settler states that it spawned? or do we turn towards Africa and the carribean nations?

I dont feel i need to say this, its very clearly not a "well if you dont like america, go back to africa" situation. but what im saying is, the western experiment, is falling apart at the seams, im sure we all see it at this point, most the other black folks i speak to are feeling pretty jumpy about it rn, my mother and my great aunt who hate each other and agree on nothing, are getting real strong get out vibes and pushing everyone to have passports. it feels like no matter where we look the white world is trying to position itself as being oppositional to and a defense against POC, the far right is gaining major traction enough in germany they are considering banning a political party(which they should) and that not to speak on much the rest of europe, which is trying to convince us not to be worried about the dudes waving nazi flags and making claims about russians being asian and thus being less human, american police violence just keeps going up to the point we aren't even safe in our own four walls, and much like the past they kill you and then take everything you owned so your family doesn't even get anything. france is proving how much distain it has for the people of africa living in its borders and the cops there are mad that they can't do even more extrajudicial violence against brown people. you got in nearly every EU nation at this point 1 or more parties who's whole thing is "we hate poc and immigrants and lgbt people" and they seem to be gaining support more than losing it.

so i guess im saying, is it worth staying in these places that just hate us? even when there is another place we can potentially go to that doesn't require us to do colonizer shit?

like don't get me wrong i get the idea, we been in x place 200, 300, 400 years why should i leave, my great grandpa had people like that in his life, they didnt make it long. but like you or i most likely aren't anywhere near where our families started in america or britian or france etc,(tho for us in settler states that shit gets even more complicated tbh) chances are your family much like mine has been pushed and pulled across the place to the point that we are damn near nomadic, we are the most if not the second most poverty stricken group in these places, we are more likely to be charged more for half par services goods and the state just refuses to support use to the extent where vast swaths of us are in food desert, areas with low access to internet services and more issues. i dont feel like we really leaving much behind except of course the friends and extended families we have made(which tbh is huge).

This shit sounds super doom and gloom and im aware of that, this isnt really for me to present a sunshine are roses situation, in fact i am really putting that on who ever sees this. if you can read what i laid out here and feel you have something constructive to say one way or the other, i wanna hear it. like i really want to hear both sides, this topic been around a long time, i feel its really about to become super relevent again and i'd like for as many of us to have discussed and thought about this as physically possible(talk to your families and friends about this too, they dont have to come reply)

so black folks, reblog, message in the replys, talk in the tags whatever, just think about this stuff critically and talk about it. poke holes as best you can, bring up whatever figure you can think of that ever even had a thought about this topic. learn about this topic as best as you can, its older than garvey by a lot. theres bad sides to it and not so bad sides to it.

non black folks, please just leave this alone, its truly not the type of topic you should involve yourself with.

anyway i go more i wanna say about it. and im not myself sold that i should move to say ghana(more likely to move with my gfs in Australia rn) and ill likely add more in reply to other people. be safe Everyone of the world.

#black liberation #pan african

[rhombusboy]

haunting adeline review

I put this up on goodreads but no one is going to read it so I figured I'd post it here too.

To paraphrase my hero Jenny Nicholson, I've ordered my thoughts into a numbered list. General warning for spoilers below.

1. The paperback version of this is 583 pages, and the font is not large. Furthermore, this feels like a 583-page long book, which is interesting because it's not some grand epic with years and years of events to cover. As the main character realizes right at the end, the whole book covers about three months. Which brings me to my next point.

2. I really feel like this could have worked with at least 100 (but preferably 200) pages shaved off. I sped through the first 300 pages, and everything fell off very quickly after that. My patience for the characters, my patience for the writing, the speed at which I was reading, my will to finish the book...

3. But, you may be wondering, cutting out that much of the book would surely cut out some of the plot, right? Well, yeah. And that's a good thing. Zade's whole weird Batman/John Wick thing was not enjoyable. I didn't pick up this book for cringey descriptions of a hacking coalition and our indestructible hero going all Jason Bourne on some henchmen. I picked this up for the romance, dammit! All of Zade's stuff and the murder mystery felt like subplots that got way too big for their own good and overshadowed what parts of the book were actually fun to read.

4. Speaking of Zade's big motivating cause, his crusade against human trafficking, it felt to me like a very obvious move by the author to make Zade's mission in life so undeniably good, that all the bad and unethical things he was doing with Adeline would seem fine, because he's actually a really good person, okay? Which felt like a weird inclusion to me, because this is clearly a dark romance. We don't need the fucked up hero to be redeemable, but that's exactly how this went down. Adeline finds out about how Zade has made it his life goal to save trafficked women and children and it gives her this whole crisis of "Well, he can't be all that bad. Look at all the good he does for these people!" And like, whatever. But Zade could have just been a pediatric neurosurgeon or something and it would have accomplished the same thing, without the pages and pages of his own little action novel shoved into the plot.

5. Zade's whole trafficking takedown plot is the reason there's a warning at the beginning of the book that says, and I shit you not, "The conspiracies found in this book have nothing to do with QAnon or antisemitism." The next time I find that preceding a story I'm taking the red flag for what it's worth and not reading the book. Essentially, there's a secret society of rich and powerful people in government and across the planet (who are literally called The Society) who do terrible things to women and children, perform literal blood magic rituals, and supposedly sell their souls to Satan to commune with "otherwordly entities" to achieve Eternal Rebirth. There are so many reasons for this plot not to be in the book. And also, if you notice the conspiracies in your book are VERY similar to real-life conspiracies that have harmed people for years and continue to do so today, maybe just don't leave that in the book? In addition to that, the book also says a lot of stuff that I found super uncomfortable along the lines of "Beautiful women get kidnapped into human trafficking all the time. It happens in grocery store parking lots, or even on the front porch of your own home. All it takes is for the wrong person to see you, a beautiful [read: white] woman, and they're going to come after you." Ugh.

6. The writing is just not good. Think of the most stereotypical example of "fanfiction writing" you can come up with. This book is pretty much that, down to literally calling eyes "orbs" more than once. There's also a lot of explaining things that the book was actually showing and not telling just fine on its own. Adeline is being stalked and is clearly not reacting to it the way a person usually would. That's evident from the book. But the author still felt the need to include paragraphs of inner monologue from Adeline here and there just to make sure you're really getting it. Stuff like "I know a normal person would be calling the cops right now. But I've never been that kind of person. It's fucked up, I know. But the adrenaline is making me feel some type of way." (not a real quote, but that's the essence of it)

7. I'm telling you now: if you don't like the way Sarah J. Maas writes smut, you are not going to like this. There's a lot of "to the hilt," "our tongues battled for dominance," "he consumed my lips with his own," stuff like that. Don't say I didn't warn you.

8. I will say, had this just been a dark romance and nothing more, I would have liked it. The smut was not written super great, but the scenarios were creative, and I liked them. It's a shame they end up not even feeling like the focus of the book.

#haunting adeline #booklr #book review #reading #books #romance books #dark romance #booktok #review #two stars

[the-firebird69]

I Built a Motorcycle from Harbor Freight Parts

True if we get kits like this even if they're they're looking decent they still will have a lot of failures. It's not a very safe way to do things is to sell a kit to have people weld their own bike. However it's not that hard to assemble a kit and points out where all the parts are and how to build it based on the parts that you can get and we can source parts including the frame for dirt cheap and it's true it would be for a smaller bike probably the size of a Honda rebel and for a basic like A hard knock kick her 5150 but we would including the kits where to buy the frame the tires and rims and the engine and tanks and chain dot package lights and signals and seats and everything for inexpensive amount of money basically you're making your own kit so we had a few people do it. They found out several things some of the stuff you can get for one place it doesn't cost as much and that assembling it yourself sometimes cost more than buying one and that was not true and the kind of bike room building is not an Enduro it's like a small bobber.

We found bobber frames for a very little money they're under $200 and we found motors for under $200 and all the parts added up to about $800 and this is what our son was talking about getting a kit together and then just tells you where you can get the parts. And we will include information on what states you buy which certain parts and there's not a lawn mower engine involved if you took one off of a riding lawn mower it's more of a pain in the ass to get to work then it's worth the transmission doesn't work when you take it out I know it does and changing gears as a pain but you can do it with a lever but it cost money to retrofit and to get it to work whereas with a kit you bolted onto a frame and they're made to go together you wouldn't save much money unless you have a lawn mower.

All in all we would sell the kit for probably $30 or so 35 dollars and it was sell like madness. We include 800 number because if you can't find a part we want you to tell us and we would help find it and send it to you and make sure the supplier was going to or find another supplier we have these kits assembled. And he had an idea to put it online and we will sell the kit there and we will fight and find computers and people will have a hard time stopping it.

I'm going to try to get this approved

Thor Freya

Olympus

I like the idea of what and it's free sharp and he knew about it before and people try to find stuff and they can't and they're pretty sharp too but this makes it a lot easier that's worthwhile we have to keep it away from my husband though they'll gobble it up and start ordering parts tomorrow

Hera

No way

Zues

What he says is yeah I would

Hera

#Youtube

[seasideretreat]

Reflections

I know y'all want to hear from me, so I put my pen to paper again, or rather I sit down behind my computer again, to write. I am actually entirely uninspired, or rather I have no method. But that's no matter. I can do whatever I want. I can write pointless, meandering things that are about nothing, and I will still be happy - I'll be happy, darnit! You know what it is, sometimes we wonder so bad about something that it seems the whole of existence, but when we look at it more closely, it really doesn't matter at all. Still, we don't want to zoom in; we don't want to look closely. We just want to survive and live and all that crap. It ain't realistic. It's foolish.

We are reminded here again of Hemingway's saying that writing was just sitting down and bleeding. You know, I never believed this, because I knew you got to be able to say something - you know, force yourself. That is the essence of acting. However, yeah. That's science for ya. I like science, but I am a humanities man, I am learned, not skilled. A humanities man thrives on wisdom and learnedness, whereas a STEM-guy thrives on skill and intelligence. You got to be skilled to do physics. It's not really a matter of knowing many things. Humanities ain't either about knowing many facts, but it is more about quality rather than quantity, in every way; and that's what my primary school teacher said about me: he's quality over quantity. I suppose that's surprising for someone stumbling unto this blog, seeing all those words - not much quality there. But the truth is, I can't write much more during the day than this. You know, there was a Dutch author who said he wrote only 200 words per day. That seems a little few. He said he used to write more, but back then he didn't know what writing was. You know, that really pisses me off. I can write an infinity of words, but it'll all be meaningless; still, it might be writing in some weird sense, because there's words on paper, maybe that's enough. You know, Stanley Kubrick said that at this point the best thing he could think of for a young filmmaker to do was to pick up a video-camera and just film something. Doesn't that fill you with wonder? Everything is worth a movie!

You know, writing really fills me with peacefulness and joy. I like coming up with things to write, and I like to express myself I suppose. I'd say I like the process. What else is there to any activity? You know, I was thinking of Peter Parker's scenes on the motorcycle, I think in Spider-man 2. It's really cool. Peter Parker is a science egghead and he's a superhero in his free time, but meanwhile he makes ends meet delivering pizza. Now does he like the process of delivering pizza? It's a bit of a no-brainer. He doesn't. He probably likes the money. Maybe he liked that it puts his mind off things. You know, but sometimes we don't have a process, that's bad right. When we do something, and we know it's gonna work, but there ain't no process and we just end up with a lacklustre result immediately. That's terrible. Anyway, I was really inspired by Peter Parker. There's something nice about science, but weirdly enough if you know nothing about it it's not so fun, you know, because we like to discover new truths, we like to understand perhaps, you know, but that's all trivial. I used to enjoy reading about vulcanic eruptions and so on when I was a child, but I don't think I was ever instilled with an awe for science. You know, I even read Leonard Susskind's Physics: The theoretical minimum (I forget if that's the exact title) but I did not read it attentively, so I didn't get anything from it. I don't even remember what anything in it was. But obviously Peter Parker wasn't even a physics guy I think, he's more a biogenetics and chemistry I think, although he might be a kind of all round science guy. The thing is, I used to be on my way to become a well-rounded, grounded guy when I studied City Planning in Breda, but I left that all behind because I was seduced by the image of being a wise and learned scholar. Now what makes a scholar? "A specialist in a particular branch of study, especially the humanities." says the dictionary. Now I am bit of a stoicism scholar, but I wouldn't call myself a specialist by any means. Also, all my work at the university was on other things. I tried to deepen my knowledge of post-colonial theory - you know, it stimulated me, the terminology, the writing style, the eloquence, but I kind of hate stuck up immigrant writers and minority spokesmen. In other words, it didn't do me any good to study post-colonialism. But it kind of suits me. I also write weirdly sometimes, just like those guys. You know, I suppose we live in an age where the work of the mind is greatly underrated. But then, what does a scholar have to contribute to the modern world? Now I guess it was never easy, but scholars have always been very important in the world, but nowadays everyone is isolated. On the internet, everybody is a goddamned scholar. You know, everybody likes history, so history remains a very vivid field for scholarship, but the problem is that when we discover something about history it is usually not all that ground-breaking; whereas if you discover something in physics, it is very groundbreaking. You know, it's like we're saying: I want to understand nature. It's a bit silly actually. You don't say: I want to understand reality. That sounds very different. People see a tree and think: hey, nature! But your computer is nature too. A tree is alive, but that's biology. What does physics even really study? You know, we learned calculus in school, and I suppose that was like a really logical step for the educators, but I look into calculus and I really don't understand why I still don't know a lick about stuff like number theory, arithmetic or whatever. Why do I have to learn calculus when I will never be a mathematician? Or rather, why don't I learn what mathematics means for the independent thinking person? But I suppose school is not focussed on making us independent thinkers, it is just meant to prepare us for the job market, although I doubt you really use calculus there at all. And I am a mailman now. What was the point of all that education when I can't even find a decent job?

And I can't help but think that school is just a nice pastime for the kids, but nobody structures it that way; and I never thought about the future when I was young.

#rambling #nonsense #absurdity

[zwei-rhunen]

Squeenix why do u do dis to me D:

Someone tell the lalafells that there's an untapped market to be had! Level 35-48 jewelry is the latest trend!

A once in a lifetime gil-gathering endeaver for your local, aspiring venture capitalist!!!!

.... in other news, I've been prepping myself for jewelery-crafting shenangians, which means clearing out my inventory LOL

But I got too invested and this time I took the time to research alot of the stuff that I've been hanging onto, and it turns out they're really easy to get later if i really wanted them back.

Most of it was either crafting materials (i thought they were turn-in tokens bc they looked special) or they were things that were fairly inexpensive to buy off other people if I wamted to do that in the future. I'd kept alot of things bc I wasn't as familiar with the UI/the game as i am now back when I tried downsizing in the past. Like I'd hold onto alot of junk bc for example, I'd research about this cool shiny item. and it'd start out so innocently lol.

I'd be like,

"oh I can use this to craft neat gear! Well I'll hold onto it bc i want to do that soon"

but then itd quickly spiral into

"oh, well I need a master crafting tome of X level, and to get that I need to collect these things. Okay that's doable. But wait, to do THAT, I first need to level up these 2 jobs so i can craft/gather the ingredients, alright.. (goes to level up the jobs) ...oh. i don't even have access to the zone that I need to collect those materials in, so then ACTUALLY I need to do the MSQ up to THIS point. Damn, thats kinda devastating bc I just spent all this time leveling lmao. Well, I got this far and i dont want to just toss these items, so ill just hang onto them for now

And then eventually I forgot about the details related to those items, but I remember how let down I felt while dealing with them so i just put it off and eventually they blurred into the clutter of the other stuff going on in my inv/I got invested into other goals lol

But now I've gotten better at asking the right things like "is this item rare? Where is it dropped? What is it used for, is it for crafting or a token or smth else? Also, does an NPC vendor ask for this in return for something cool? Could i buy this item on the MB later on?"

Whereas before, I'd just be like "okay. what can i use this for?? " And then I wouldn't see any crafting use for it, so I'd just toss it, and then 10 mins later id go to Mor Dhona and realize DANG IT was a TOKEN, i coulda traded that for smth interesting!! And it seems like a PITA for me to get again 😭 .....so thus began my hoarding :)

can't regret what you don't discard! lmfaooo

Also said screw it and sold off most of my food bc I realized by the time I worked thru all those edibles, id probably have a sub and would be able to buy HQ food really easily. Like, I'd been holding onto the food from when I had brute-force-leveled CUL to 50, and I'm still gonna have like ~200 hours worth of exp lmao.

I also actually, seriously reviewed the differences in food stats for once in my life (this deserves so much praise tbh bc I do not care for their details as long as I'm getting the exp buff lmao) and realized my level 15 HQ food is useless to hang onto bc my lvl 40 normal foods are still way better, and all this other info that's probably common knowledge lmao (and ik i CAN get more efficient with this if I prioritized food with stats that align with which jobs I'm gonna main for now but um. this is far as I care to go into the weeds with food details for now lmaooo like... no. stop thats too much to worry abt for me 😭😂😂 i mean like, i know (i think i know?) Strength and determination for tank, spell speed/piety for casters, skill speed for dps bc it just sounds like it makes sense lol. So like ill half-assedly try and pick the best stat buff food but its not really smth tht im overly concerned abt atm tbh. Maybe later at a higher level but for now everything seems to be okay without needing to suffer over the details)

So I sold off a buncha stuff off to an NPC and now i have a whole page and a half of space. I'm so excited!

I also reviewed the clutter in my chocobo sidebags and finally traded in the ancient gear drops to Rowena and sold off some faded maps that i realized are really common and can get again later lol

I'd have more space but i think I can use those few items up in the short term so it's just a waiting game for moar space uwu

But, yeah!!

✨️ A page and a half of inventory!! ✨️

I haven't had this much space ever since probably the MIDDLE of doing the main 2.0 MSQ!! xD

#lmao #zwei writes

[whatisshelties]

@twobigears reminded me of another dog sport challenge, mostly when you've got multiple sports. Conflicting shows. Let's expand that to include "a bunch of shows a month." I prefer 1 to 2 shows a month. I think with the one day a weekend it's I've been doing lately, it's fine to do two, as far as money/time goes.

I figured I'd check calendars again since I was looking at the ASCA one to put stuff on my calendar. There are now TWO scent work shows on the AKC event site for October that are 1.5 hour-ish drives. Two weekends in a row. One is offering one full trial a day, the other offering two full trials a day!

There are also two NADAC trials that month, one 30 minutes away, but I have to enter 4 runs minimum and the 4 runs I would enter are split between the two days. (Grounders and FEO Jumpers so I can run him at 4".) The other trial is a 1.5 hour drive, but I've trialed with that quite a few times over the years, they're p chill, they've got Jumpers and Grounders on the same day. It's the same weekend as that scent work trial that's offering two rounds of everything a day.

In that case, I could enter one day of each, but I'm not really into driving 3 hrs round trip two days in a row, lol. The scent work trial would be $200 for one day, and I have no idea what they're charging at the NADAC trial. Looks like $12/run is the rate they're using for some summer mini-trials.

I'm mostly kind of annoyed I didn't do this earlier (or that scent work trials aren't posted super early on on AKC...) because the 1st of the two shows I just entered is Sept 23-25, the second is October 8-9. I probably would have reconsidered how much I was entering at each show. Maybe not entered beginner novice at the second show. That would give me $60 towards a scent work entry. I'm hesitant to cancel my entry since I'd lose $4-$5 in nonrefundable processing fees, but might be worth it.

Both NADAC trials are probably lowest on my priority list, but the club in PHX might let me promo my art stuff down at that show. I could pick up some commissions, especially before the holidays. There is a local NADAC trial in September, if I really want an agility fix.

If I don't throw the NADAC trials into the mix, that mostly leaves figuring out the scent work trials. I think I just figured that out and I'll walk you through it, lmao. First I was intrigued by the 2 trials a day show because 1) I could do two days worth of runs in one day/trip, 2) I think this is a good time in Mud's career to do 8 runs a day. Novice searches are so quick, I think he could easily complete them. As things get more complex, I don't think I would want to do more than one round of each class a day.

However, Mud has 2 legs towards some of the classes and could finish his title at the "first trial" of the day. Premium says "day to day move ups," so I wouldn't be able to move up between "trials" if he happens to Q. While an additional run/Q in Novice will count towards some kind of extended title in that level, I'm not sure if I want $25/run to go there and float. Another factor, the club doing the show with only 1 trial worth of classes a day has brown on their ribbons, which I think would be cute because of Mud's name, lol. I wanted to title there. So I think we'll be entering one day there and skipping that other show, lol!

This was a major ramble, but I guess it's a look at how one person is trying to process all these choices/options. I have really embraced entering one day over the past few years. With some agility trials it can be difficult because they can't offer every class in one day. I know that has been a source of frustration for people who can only enter one day because of work schedules. If clubs don't mix up their run orders, those people can have trouble finishing titles. Sports/organizations with fewer classes to deal with are perfect for one day outings, though.

#man there are just so many factors to consider #money for entries #money/time for travel #gas? #hotel? #title ribbon color #move ups? #in agility i wouldn't worry about staying in a level for an extra run #b/c it's not that expensive lol! #minus akc #they're the odd one out tho #i wouldn't spend extra time in akc at those rates

[x3rrorx]

Catching up on everything that's been happening recently.

Juli will kiss ass of whoever she needs to for her benefit at the time, and the fact that she has grown ass adults defending her behaviour that seem oblivious to her antics is insane (who all incidently also interact with the ex). I'm sure this sweet little good time girl they all see is in there somewhere, but jfc the number of times she gets called out by people (including the very band they all worship!) is beyond a joke. And at some point you have to take a step back and realise that it can't all boil down to jealousy, or is Matt meant to be jealous of her too? Wake the fuck up and realise there's a common denominator! And honestly some of the people in that circle seem like decent people but get tarnished by association.

And then there's just all her constant bullshit.

One minute she's going to Europe for CF, then she isn't because it would cost too much.

Then she's going to the Vancouver show to see her bestie, then she isn't because it would cost too much.

But she still managed to go to all the other shows and pay for VIP for all of them (didn't she say one was $200?) so cost clearly wasn't THAT much of an issue (if the "bestie" can't see that then idk). Especially not when she's practically boasting about her credit card debt (weird flex for anyone, let alone an 18 year old!).

Then she claimed she was going to do goofy poses in her m&g but all her pictures are exactly the same pose because all she does is talk.

The whole thing with threatening a Sumerian employee? The opportunity was apparently there for her to make her point in person but instead she comes on twitter and talks about what she could have done. And was the problem with the video on their instagram the comments or the fact she wasn't being paid? Because those comments that were apparently hurting her so badly would have still existed if they had approached her and she'd profited from it. But does that then make it worth it for her?

And what about the email she published on her twitter asking Sumerian for work experience or a job? One minute she's bad mouthing them and the next she's licking ass to try and get into the industry and then when they don't get back to her she's back to bad mouthing them again. Which I suppose takes me back to my original point.

The thing Juli (or someone close to her) needs to realise is that things follow you through life. I don't know her, and she could indeed be incredibly sweet, but that's not the image she portrays online. She comes off as being problematic and the level of documentation out there relating to her dramas isn't going anywhere, it's all over twitter, tumblr, reddit, who knows where else. Hell, I don't even follow her but the drama always makes its way to my timeline, or her posts her all over my fyp. And tweeting and deleting only works to an extent. She has a reputation and it's far from a good one. The level of hate some people have towards her isn't warranted, but the fact that she's so disliked within multiple communities she's a part of isn't a coincidence, neither is the fact that everyone automatically assumed Matt's tweet was about her. Being young can only be an excuse for so long and she's way past that point, she knows what she's doing and has insane main character syndrome.

It's completely possible to enjoy music, bands, going to multiple shows on tour etc. without becoming public enemy number one and creating drama at every turn. The problem is she's never held accountable by anyone close to her, they just continue to enable her. If people close to her truly cared about her they'd realise they need to intervene before she ruins her life (with debt and an inescapable reputation) because she won't be 18 forever.

Not every criticism comes from a place of hate or jealousy. Some comes from a place of worry, because if my friend or family member was putting everything out there Juli is/has, or was acting like she does and getting the reaction she does I'd be deeply concerned. Do all her adult friends that defend her not stop and seriously question what's going on with her? Like, it's great she's got no responsibilities and is having fun (is she really with all the shit she gets?) but the amount of debt she's in would be worrying enough for some people with a full time well paid job, let alone an 18 year old who I'm guessing is still being paid similarly to when she was at Starbucks. Great she has no rent/mortgage to pay and her parents help with her car payments but she's literally spending money she doesn't have and learning no accountability. It's worrying.

And so concludes my TED talk.

Appreciate the TED talk 👏🏻👏🏻

[novamirmirsblog]

I am not a woman, I'm a God (17+)

If I can't have love I want power pt 2

If I can't have love masterlist

Word Count: 1640

Genre: dark I guess?

Request: no

Warnings: none? (atm anyways)

A/N: I'm not too happy with this chapter so it's subject to change BUT the next couple chapters should pick things up a little :3 OH and the next chapter might contain smut (Idk yet - I'll try to edit this when I've written the next chapter)

1737 - The middle

The revenge was sweet and drawn out. The redhead and her long-time friend had made sure of that. They let you finish the duke off but not before they had their fun. The two women were gorgeous, both with red hair that would make any woman jealous. The green-eyed woman had hair like a wildfire and the blue-eyed woman had hair the colour of a deep red sunset. Liking women was wrong but you weren’t sure these two counted as women – they certainly weren’t human. Wanda, the one with sunset hair, tortured your husband mentally, angry whisps the same colour as Natasha’s hair crawled in through his ears and buried themselves deep within his brain. While this was happening, Natasha was peeling layer after layer of skin off him with her razor-sharp nails. You weren’t sure if you could even call them nails – not when they looked so much more like claws. While Wanda was exploiting your husband’s deepest darkest fears, Natasha was calmly explaining to you which tools to use where so you could cause the most pain. Apparently pain and torture was an aphrodisiac for them because the two demons decided to show you what you had been missing out on due to your husband’s lack of skill.

That was almost 200 years ago. Wanda and Natasha had given you great gifts, allowing you to have a much longer life, giving you cat-like reflexes and godlike powers. Perhaps your favourite was the enhancements they gave to your voice. People were suddenly compelled to do whatever you suggested they do and the rush it gave you was unexplainable. These gifts were not free however and yet the price was one you willingly paid repeatedly. Especially because it meant spending extra time with your two favourite demons. You were there to cause chaos and have fun which was ironic considering Wanda was a chaos demon and Natasha was a succubus but perhaps that’s why you did what you did. Perhaps it was because you were made by them and therefore must serve them in every way imaginable.

~~~~~

You had watched your siblings grow from afar and made sure every single villager who ever even looked at them wrong suffered. When you were with Wanda and Natasha, it felt as if everything just fit into place. It was strange and you felt as if you shouldn’t miss them – they killed and tortured your husband in front of you, gave you gifts that meant you couldn’t live a normal life and coerced you into sex that you weren’t sure you wanted; yet you still wanted them.

Your story was told countless times and the more times it was told, the deeper the truth was twisted into a legend, a tale mothers told their children to keep them away from the forests late at night. You were turned into a martyr, a victim of the horrible cruelties the evil creatures of the world could bestow onto innocent girls.

You were anything but.

If the storytellers could see you now, they would burn all mentions of your story. You were a problem child, a bad example and you had two of the most powerful demons wrapped around your little finger.

A few years ago, you had mentioned to Natasha and Wanda one evening that you were bored. That’s how you found yourself currently being shot at.

“Natty I’m bored.” You whined, throwing yourself dramatically over the bed. History was going through a dry spell; people weren’t doing anything interesting and there weren’t enough opportunities for you to wreak havoc.

“Natty” Wanda mocked “Our princess is bored.”

“Well, we can’t have that now, can we?” Natasha moved to hover over you, Wanda placed your head in her lap. Natasha’s tail flicked with a cat-like manner before it slithered between your legs.

You grabbed her tail and she let out a moan “Not now Natasha. I’m serious. If I knew living forever was going to be this boring, then I wouldn’t have done it.” That wasn’t quite true, you enjoyed being theirs to use but you were getting restless.

Natasha rolled her eyes, leaning up to kiss Wanda instead. You waited a few moments for the two demons to stop their make-out session, but it didn’t look to be ending any time soon. You rolled out from underneath Natasha and untangled Wanda’s fingers from where she was massaging your scalp.

“Awe come back baby.” Wanda broke the kiss and made grabby arms at you. For a supposed demon, she sure was soft. “I promise we’ll make things more fun.”

Natasha rolled her eyes again “You’ve gone soft Wands.” Although Natasha huffed and puffed about how ‘soft’ Wanda had gotten, she seemed to have a slightly less hardened heart when she looked at you.

You were no longer bored but you were being shot at and while it couldn’t kill you, it sure did sting. Perhaps going after Dick Turpin’s loot was a bad idea but what can you say? You wanted to live a little. All you had wanted was a pretty horse you had seen him steal but nooo – he had to keep them all for himself. You had managed to escape Mr Turpin himself but one of his lackeys just wouldn’t give up. Rather than continuing to run, you decided you may as well get a quick meal.

“Hello darling.” Your voice echoed from all around, you watched as the man trying to kill you frantically whipped his head around.

“Who are you? Come out now!”

You let out a low, predatory chuckle.

“I’m the poor little martyr in all your stories.”

“No. You can’t be- that’s impossible! You should be dead!” You watched as the man continued to spin around and around in circles, watching him trip before revealing yourself.

“I am ancient. I have seen empires rise and fall. I have seen kings and queens and holy men enter the world and I have seen them leave; and yet I am nowhere near as old or as powerful as the women who made me the person I am today. While I watched preestablished civilisations crumble, they were reminiscing the time they created them, all while burning them to the ground. Some call me the end but they are mistaken. They are the end. I am your warning. I am the only kindness they will show you. Trivial things such as death do not concern me.” As you finished your speech, Natasha and Wanda’s comforting aura surrounded you, the dark mist embracing you before forming the two women.

“Couldn’t let you have all the fun now could we dove?” Natasha’s voice rumbled out against your neck, biting it lightly.

“You have to share.” Wanda cooed, lifting your chin up to face her as she captured your lips with hers.

The idiot who you were about to kill and feed on decided now was a good time to make their escape. Luckily, Wanda had other plans as her red magic bought the squirming meal back to you.

“Go away. I want to eat. It’s been so long.” You pouted, making your way back to your meal. It was a little annoying that to continue living in your young body that you had to drain the soul from another person, but it was worth it.

“But if we leave then who’s going to do all the heavy lifting?”

“And who will dig the hole in your garden?”

“Or put the body in the hole?”

“Or-”

“Okay! I get it. Fine. But just hush, okay? I like to eat in peace.” You grabbed the man and kissed him hard, feeling his soul merge with yours before it was consumed by the darkness.

“I don’t know why you always have to kiss them to feed” Natasha bit out, moving away from you with Wanda, voicing her unhappiness at you kissing someone else when only she should be kissing you- her and maybe Wanda.

“Well, it wasn’t me who made her feed that way.” Wanda whispered back

“Are you suggesting this is my fault?” Natasha’s voice got low and dangerous, and you felt the forest drop about 10 degrees.

“Well that’s how you feed isn’t it?” Wanda’s eyes glowed and a wind picked up.

You pulled away from your meal, the faint glow of his soul swirling around your mouth and eyes. “Want to share?” The forest rose back to its original temperature and climate as Natasha kissed you, absorbing small remnants of the soul. Wanda wrapped one arm around your waist while the other snaked up to your neck, her teeth lightly biting and sucking along your shoulders.

“I think you forget dove” Natasha broke the kiss to growl at you

“We’re in charge here. If we wanted to share, then we would share.” Wanda finished off for her.

It dawned on you that perhaps this was about more than just the meal. They were jealous.

“Are you two jealous?” You laughed, not at the situation but at their reactions. Wanda bit you harder and Natasha just glared at you.

“Of course not. Why would we be jealous of some silly insignificant dum-”

“Baby…” You reached up and placed one hand lightly on Wanda’s horn and the other on Natasha’s cheek, effectively stopping Natasha’s rant about how unjealous they are. Wanda moved from where she was standing behind you to stand next to Natasha. “You both know that if I could live off Demon energy then I would, but I can’t.”

Natasha and Wanda shared a look, having a silent conversation in the space of seconds before turning their attention back to you. “That’s not necessarily true love.” Wanda said.

“It will be painful but…well demons aren’t born. They’re made.” Natasha explained.

“And if you wanted to…”

You didn’t even hesitate before giving your answer. “Yes.”

Taglist:

@lucydiibi

#natasha romanoff imagine #natasha romanoff x you #natasha romanov #natasha x you #natasha romanov x reader #natasha x y/n #natasha romanoff x reader #natasha x reader #natasha romanoff #wanda maximoff x reader #wandanat x reader #wanda marvel #wanda x fem!reader #wanda x y/n #wanda maximoff #wandanat #wanda x you #wanda x reader #Spotify

[xpeachesncream]

restart | six

[ SEQUEL TO PERFECTLY WRONG ] | [ series masterlist ]

summary: as you and taehyung start to build your life together post graduation, things become more complicated than what you expected it to be. while taehyung struggles with his inner demons, you’ve become the sole supporter, the pillar, juggling different jobs to keep you two afloat. your love for each other has been put to the test as your relationship continues to face hurdles - hurdles that have you questioning whether or not your relationship will make it through.

pairing: reader x fiancé!kth

genre: post grad au, established relationship au | fluff, angst, smut

words: 3.9k

warnings: cussing/mature language, jealousy, lots of insecurities and overthinking, angst, crying, arguments, y/n and tae get really mean with each other honestly, unprotected soft sex in the flashback scene, alcohol consumption, y/n really going above and beyond for her man though

note: taehyung’s one shot for the witchers one series will be coming out.. probably this weekend? i’ll continue taking some breaks in between posting new chapters for bands and restart so i can work on this too!

tags: @enchantaeduniverse​ @thedarkwinterrose​ @sapphirejeon @jwlmnbt​ @bluesharksandfish​ @ra-mun-e @brightcolorsoffendme​ @jungcrookthecookbook​ @sunniejinnie​ (please message me if you would like to be added to the taglist!)

You looked at the new picture hanging on the hall at Jin's café. It was a picture of you, Taehyung and your friends in your graduation caps and gowns. You smiled to yourself seeing how happy you all were to finally overcome the milestone together, how happy you and Taehyung were to have gotten through it together.

It seemed like a distant memory.

"Hey." Jungkook comes behind you, his blonde hair almost covering his eyes.

"Hmm?" He follows your gaze to the picture.

"What time is your shift over?" He asks, trying to change the subject. You turn to him and sigh, checking the time on your phone.

"Mm, in a bit actually. I have to run home and get ready."

"Oh hey, you're meeting that girl today right? To see if you can sell some of your art and merch in her boutique?" You smiled from ear to ear.

"Yeah! She's such a sweetheart, I'm super excited. I hope it works out."

"I'm sure it will." He pinches your cheek. He doesn't say anything else, being that he can tell other things were on your mind but you weren't ready to talk about it yet.

Racing home to the apartment, you decided to hop into a quick shower and throw on some better clothes. You still couldn't believe Brandi had came up to you at the flea market, almost feeling like she was a blessing in disguise. You smiled at yourself in the mirror, the excitement peeking through as the minutes went by.

"Hey! Goodluck today, little one!" You picked up Jin's call as you walked out of your apartment and down to your car. Taehyung, for whatever reason, was nowhere to be found, and you figured he was just out with Namjoon or one of their other friends. You had left him sound asleep earlier, and you didn't think he had any plans today. But, you would just have to see him later and tell him all about the meeting. You were actually excited to, especially after last night.

➤ FLASHBACK

Taehyung gripped onto the headboard as he rolled his hips into you, your clit rubbing against him as his body lowered onto yours. He kept his eyes on you, his lips barely grazing yours as he softly hissed and let out small moans.

“Hmmmfuck.” You softly mewled. For once, the love making felt like old times - the passion. The fire. The feelings. It felt like Taehyung was making love to you like the world was going to end. And the thought of it, the feeling of his body against yours, the warmth - it made you feel complete, and like you never wanted to leave this moment.

"I love you so much, baby." He whispers as he continues to pick up his pace, rolling his hips and working in tandem with yours.

"I love you, too." You softly say as your fingers lock into his hair, his lips pressed gently against your neck as he laid soft kisses along a straight path and nipped at your skin. You arch your back slightly, the pleasure starting to bubble up within your core as you hear Taehyung moan against your neck.

"God, baby I'm gonna cum." He continues to moan. "Cum with me."

"Close." You moan softly, tugging on his hair as he picks up his pace and begins to thrust a little more aggressively. "I-I'm--"

"Uh huh." He nods. "That's it, love."

"I'm gonna cum." Your hands are now gripping his shoulders, nails digging deep and leaving red marks against his honey-dipped skin. It takes a few more rolls before you feel your body trembling under his grip, muffled moans trying to escape as you let the orgasm ripple through you. As you come down from your high, you feel Taehyung fill you up warmly, his body still ontop of yours as he tries to regulate his breathing. He presses his lips against your jaw, to your forehead, to your nose, then back down to your lips before he removes his softening member from within you and plops next to you on the bed. He instantly swoops you into his arms, your head laying on his chest as you ran your finger in circles around his collarbone.

"Baby." He says softly. "You mean everything to me. You know that right? I got you through anything, no matter what." You simply nod before he places another kiss against your head.

➤ END FLASHBACK

"Thank you. I'll tell you all about it later, okay?"

"Sounds good. I know this'll work out. I'm proud of you, you know that right?" Your smile lightly fades. Yeah, it was a big deal, but you still hadn't told anyone a lot of your other plans had been put on pause.

"I know." You softly chuckle. "K, I need to get going. I'll call you later."

"Love you, drive safely." He says before you return the love and hang up. You hopped into your car and began to drive off to the destination downtown. However, as you neared the boutique, another call came through to your car, but from an unknown number.

"Hello?"

"Hi, is this Miss Y/L/N?"

"Yeah, this is she."

"Hey there. Could you come down to Jack's? We have your fiancé here. He's intoxicated and he's been giving the staff a hard time." You sigh and look at your watch. Jack's was on the opposite end of town. You were never going to make it on time for your meeting. You had promised you'd be there to make this work.

"Where is he?" You say as you quickly park your car and make your way to the restaurant. You see him slouched onto the bar, slurring his words to the police men. The bar stools around him were all turned over, glasses broken and flyers from the wall had been ripped off. You couldn't help but begin to cry because you knew this was all Taehyung's doing, and quite frankly, you had so many emotions - you were scared, upset, empty, exhausted. You didn't know what else to do, but you loved him.

And yet here you were again, pushing your goals aside to help the love of your life.

"Tae, baby. Let's get up, okay?" His eyes are glazed as they turn to you. He smiles, but he struggles to get up, the police man helping support him as you both bring him to your car.

"Baby girl." He mumbles.

"Shh. Just stay here." You shush him as you get him situated in the passenger seat, tears streaming down your face.

"I'm sorry sweetie, but this damage needs to be covered." You took the ticket from the police man, showing the restaurant charging over $200 worth of the damages.

"It's fine, I'll take care of this. I'm so sorry."

"If you need anything, please let us know." The cop couldn't help but sympathize looking at you. At this point your cheeks were hot, tears continued to stream down your face and your hair had become a mess having supported Tae back to the car. You silently climbed in, crying to yourself as you drove back to the apartment, Taehyung slumped and asleep in the passenger seat.

You did your best to support him back to your apartment, the security guard offering help but you turned him down. You had been doing good so far and you thought you had this in the bag. As you had exited the elevator, Taehyung stumbled upon his own two feet, bringing the both of you down.

"Babe, get up please." You cried, using all of your force to get him up. He did try his best to stable himself as you stood, but the five steps to the front door ended up being twenty, with a few more stumbles in between. "Please, we're almost there." You continued to cry.

You finally got Taehyung out of his clothes and into the bed, washing his face with a warm towel before you let him sleep peacefully. You made your way to the living room and just broke down. Your meeting was way past its time, and yet you had passed on another great opportunity because you needed to be there for Taehyung. You felt helpless.

You just didn't know how else to do it.

"Hello? How'd it go?" Jungkook asks on the other line.

"Kook, I don't know if I could do this anymore." You cried into the phone. "I can't do it." You cried silently, heavily.

"Y/N." He sighs worriedly. "What happened? Do you want me to come by?"

"No, I-I just—" You cry as you sink to the floor, your back against the wall. "I've given up so many things for him, and he even apologized last night. Saying he'd do better and all this shit, but he hasn't. I knew this would happen and-and I can't—" You ramble on and on, Jungkook worried as he tries to decipher what you're saying through your crying.

"Slow down, and tell me what just happened."

"I didn't even get to meet her, Kook. I was on my way when I got a call from the cops saying he was drunk and giving the staff a hard time at Jack's. Shit was torn up, the stools were turned over, flyers ripped off the walls." You mumbled through your cries. "I told them I'd take care of it and handle the damages. Why would he do this? Why would he do this to me?" Kook sighs heavily.

"I'm so sorry, Y/N. I'm sure there's a lot of things going on in his head that can help explain this. And I can help you take care of the damages, it's not a big deal."

"No."

"Stop. Let me help you." He pauses. "Can you text Brandi and just let her know it was an emergency or something? I'm sure she'll understand."

"I'm so humiliated though, like I can't even face her after I stood her up."

"Listen to me. It's not like you meant to. Just text her and explain, she seems like a really nice and understanding person. Don't feel embarrassed. Shit happens."

"You don't get it, bunny." You cried harder, silently, hoping you wouldn't be too loud to wake up Tae. "This was the last chance I had. I-I told Jimin I wouldn't be working on the shop right now. I gave all this shit up for him and I really just can't do this anymore. I've set myself aside to be there for him, only for him to fuck me over in the end. He doesn't realize how much he's been hurting me." You're feeling so many emotions at once that you don't even know if you're making sense. You wanna say so much, but you can't. You wanna get back up on your feet, but you can't.

"It's not gonna be the last chance." He says softly. "You're always welcome to crash with me if you'd like, just to give yourself some space." You sigh, finally able to slow down your crying and regulate your breathing.

"I can't just leave him."

"Y/N. He's gonna have to learn one way or another." Suddenly, you hear some stirring in the room, causing you to frantically wipe your tears and get yourself together.

"I have to go, I'll talk to you later, okay?"

"Okay. Let me know if you need me, I'll be there." You hang up the call and turn your attention to the room when you hear Taehyung give off a small groan. You rush over, seeing him bent over on his knees on the side of the bed, his hands pressed against his face. "You alright?" You ask him softly, already prepping the trash can with a paper bag inserted inside in case he needs to release.

"I don't feel too—" And as you assume correctly, you hold the trash can up to him as he releases, your heart breaking at the sight of him struggling. You were torn - torn between wanting to do everything and wanting to do absolutely nothing at this point. You were spent, you had given him everything and you were left with nothing besides the uncertainty of your relationship and the umpteenth amount of tears you had been shedding.

This wasn't fair to you, and you couldn't let him keep doing this to you.

After he seems to be done being head first into the trash can, you set it aside to clean up later and give his face another good wash up with a warm towel. He seems a bit better and more sober after having vomited, but you get him to go back to sleep while you head into the kitchen to heat up some water and make some tea. You ponder on your thoughts, on your feelings, while waiting for the electric kettle to flip the switch, hinting that the water was done heating. You pour yourself and Tae a cup - green tea for you, while you whipped up some ginger tea with lemon for him. You walk over to the room seeing him asleep, but he slightly opens an eye when he feels your body dip into the edge of the bed.

"Drink this while it's hot." You say as you place the cup on the night stand.

"Thank you, baby." He manages to say raspily. "Stay with me?" You shake your head.

"I need to take care of some stuff outside." And with that, you don't turn to look at him or give him more of your attention before simply walking off. You bite onto your bottom lip as you head back to the kitchen, pulling out your laptop to start organizing the bills and figuring out which ones to pay off first. You almost forgot you had these deadlines to meet.

It's close to 8pm when Taehyung finally gets up and walks out to the kitchen, seeing you still hovering over your laptop. This time though, you had a bowl of ramen ready for him to go, while you had just finished devouring yours. You don't say anything as he comes forward to the kitchen island, but his eyes are locked onto you. You turn to face the sink and start washing your bowl when you feel his arms snake around your hips and his lips pressed against the back of your head. And as much as you wanna sink into his body, you don't.

"Baby, I'm so—"

"Save it." You aggressively throw your spoon down into the sink before turning to face him. "Don't."

"Y/N, please. Just let me explain."

"No, Taehyung. Not anymore. I've heard it way too many times and I'm tired." You say, your eyes starting to water. "I'm so tired. You knew today was the day I had to meet Brandi. Why couldn't you just hold off for a second, Tae? Do I literally have to give up everything for you?"

"Woah, I never said you had to—" You scoff as you cross your arms.

"You didn't have to say it. All this shit you've done, throwing the whole Jimin thing in my face, getting drunk and acting up." You cry. "You don't think I can catch on? I'm not stupid, Taehyung. Don't take me for a fucking dumbass."

"I've been here struggling with my own feelings too okay, Y/N? It's been a fucking shit show for me and I don't think you understand."

"You don't think I understand?!" You yell, appalled at his argument. As much as you didn't wanna play the pointing fingers game, you had no choice but to since Tae didn't seem to get it. He obviously didn't understand you even though he said he did last night, and that's what hits you. "I know you've been struggling and I've been doing my very best to be there every step of the way for you to help support you. I gave up this shit with Jimin and told him to hold off because I knew you were having trouble with it. I fucking went to the school event 10 minutes late and tired out of my goddamn mind, and I just got lucky Dr. Forneo wasn't done with his speech or else I would have been shit out of luck too! And then today, I was on my way to meet Brandi when I got the call that I needed to come get you because you decided trashing Jack's was the perfect way to show how frustrated you've been feeling. Don't tell me I don't fucking understand when I've done it all just to be here for you! I pushed myself aside for you, and quite frankly, I feel like I've just been wasting my life in this relationship." You say harshly, a little taken aback at the words that come out of your mouth, but you have no intentions of bringing it back. He scoffs, tears streaming down his cheeks as he looks at you, expression full of hurt and betrayal.

"If you've been feeling like that, why didn't you tell me sooner so I could have just left you alone? So I wouldn't have wasted all this time for you?"

"I love you so much, and I hate seeing you hurt. I wanted to do everything in my power to help relieve you, help you get rid of this pain you've been feeling, but I've just been hurting myself in the process. You haven't even realized it. I can't do this to myself anymore, Taehyung. I can't." In a quick moment, his expression quickly turns into more hurt and frustration, his brows furrowing as his tears continue to come down.

"Then fucking leave Y/N! Leave, if this shit isn't what you want!" He yells loudly that you're a little startled by his tone.

"You'd just let me go like that?" You ask shakily.

"Go and be like the rest of them, like I give a fuck." He says, sounding exactly like the asshole Taehyung you had dealt with the night of Jin's café party. "You don't know what it's like—" He shakes his head. "To feel so completely useless and unworthy. To have people remind you and throw it in your face constantly how much of a fuck up you really are." He pauses, glaring back at you. "You're just like Hana, you know?" He instantly regrets it the moment it slips, but it's too late for him to take it back. You cry harder at the statement because why in the fuck would he say some dumbass shit like that? You were not her whatsoever. And you'd like to think you've done a hell of a job sticking by him through thick and thin. Not like her.

"Don't ever say that shit to me again. I am not her." You put your foot down. "I know I can't relate but the one thing I do know is that I gave you my everything, and I did nothing but stand by you through thick and thin. As much as I want to do it all, you have to do your part in getting yourself out of this, too. There's only so much I can do for you. Don't tell me you're in this for the long run when you can't even realize that shit. This isn't how you're supposed to treat somebody who loves you, somebody you call your fiancé. This isn't how we get by together. And you know fucking better than that." You spit out, aggressively wiping your tears. "I'm going to stay at Yoongi's until we leave."

"Y/N." He sighs deeply, following you into the room.

"No, don't touch me." You look at him as you break free from his grip. "You said what you said. I'm not doing this shit anymore." You softly cry. "Clearly, we need the space." You began to pile your clothes and necessities into your luggage, removing all attention away from Taehyung.

"Fine." Is all he manages to say before he's grabbing a jacket and heading out of the room. You hear him yell a loud 'fuck!' before glass hits the wall and shatters, followed by the front door slamming shut. You break down onto the ground and cry everything you have left in you. What did this mean for the both of you, you had no idea. After all of this, you still wanted him and you still hoped this would work out. Half of you suddenly didn't want to leave on these terms, but you knew you had to - to give yourself some space and give Taehyung enough space to hopefully learn and snap himself out of it.

But shit, this fucking hurts.

Suddenly you look at your ring and you have no idea what to feel.

By the time you're done packing what you need to pack, you feel so groggy and beat that you can barely make your way to Yoongi's. Your head is pounding and everything around you feels like dull, white noise. Sleep is the only thing on your mind.

"Hey." Yoongi steps aside to let you in. He grabs your luggage from you and sets it aside, following you into his living room space. "You okay?" He asks, knowing damn well you aren't but he figured this is how he could get the conversation started. You simply look at him, silently shake your head and begin to cry into your hands again. You feel Yoongi engulf you in his arms as he sits you down into the couch and brings your body close to his. "I'm so sorry, Y/N. It's gonna be okay. I got you."

"It fucking hurts." You mumble into his chest and he simply nods before slightly pulling away. "He just let me go."

"Let's get you to bed, yeah? You can sleep in mine and I'll stay out here." You nod as you wipe away your tears, Yoongi also doing his best to get rid of the stragglers streaming down your cheeks. He brings your luggage into the room and gives you some space to change and get yourself comfortable. Which, you do, but it takes awhile as your body wants to do absolutely nothing at this point. You shove yourself underneath his covers, a weighted blanket on top providing you with extra warmth. You turn to face the wall, hoping you could fall into a deep sleep soon.

But, you can't, no matter how exhausted you are.

"In here?" You hear Jungkook's voice faintly outside before he gently opens the door. You don't move in your position, even though you've just been blankly staring at the wall. You hear Jungkook gently shut the door before you feel his body weight on the edge of the bed. His fingers are running through your hair, brushing it gently as you continue to stare at the wall. "Y/N."

"Not now, Kook." He sighs.

"I'm worried about you."

"I'll be fine."

"Can I at least do anything for you right now?"

"I just want to sleep." He nods.

"Okay. I'll be hanging out with everyone for a bit outside. Just let me know if you need me." He says, gently caressing your covered arm before heading out of the room. You sighed and closed your eyes once more, hoping you could finally drift off into a deep sleep.

But your thoughts continued to wander to your fiancé and his whereabouts, whether or not he was okay and where he was at. They always wandered to him. It never failed.

And yes, it was the same for Taehyung. It was the same all the time.

He thought about you 24/7, he even thought about you now as he looks down at the notification lighting up on his phone.

The notification that gives him permission to come upstairs to her apartment.

but when i see you it hurts, when i see you it starts to hurt baby; i can see it in your eyes, I can see the pain in your eyes I'm sorry, tell me baby did it feel right to be with you and at the same time lose myself, my soul is burning out so casually

track four: lie 2 me - fern

#bts #bts fanfiction #bts imagines #taehyung fanfiction #kim taehyung fanfiction #taehyung #kim taehyung #taehyung x reader #kth x reader #writing #restart #restart series #sequel to perfectly wrong #perfectly wrong sequel #kth series #taehyung series #kim taehyung series #taehyung fluff #taehyung angst #taehyung smut #kth angst #kth fluff #kth smut #kim taehyung fluff #kim taeyung angst #kim taehyung smut #bts smut #bts angst #bts fluff #tae

[snowgoldwaylon]

You Call That Sneaky?? - Dimitri Belikov X Reader

Not all goes as planned when Y/N and Belikov fly the bird.

TW: Strong language, use of gunship/death.

"Belikov, we need covering fire!" is what you heard come through his comms attached to his collar. It was Adler, they were in a pretty tight place. You quickly pulled the missiles online and hit "launch sequence" on the AC-31 Gunship.

Belikov flipped some switches, pulled back on the yoke and held it steady. He looked back at you and gave the nod. You quickly got on the radios to let them know the danger.

"Y/N to Adler, danger close. I repeat danger close. AC-31 out!" You warned them.

You set off the first round of just bullets, and quickly switched to bursts of incendiary rounds.

"Shot out!" You called, hitting a direct target.

The place was practically crawling with enemies, and you needed to clear extraction to bring the team up. They originally came here to collect some potential information regarding Robert Aldrich.

You needed to take him out because he was leaking sensitive information to Perseus, and his trail went cold after Bell was able to crack his spy ring.

So, of course hotshot Adler loaded himself, Woods, and Mason up and hauled their cookies all the way to the Border of Colorado.

They snuck around, maintaining stealth. You and Belikov controlled the bird, and flew around for sweep and cover protection. But, as they snuck up on a meeting, it was all revealed.

Turns out, it was a set up. And it really pissed off Frank. It pissed him off so much, he ended up losing his temper, and reached for a conveniently well place grenade launcher.

To sum it up, Frank fucked up. Because now the three man dream team went up against well over 200 enemies. So, here you were. You layed multiple rounds out until slowly but surely all the white in the thermal sights faded.

"We are clear Belikov! We are heading to the Southeast ridge, hooking up there!" Mason said into the radio.

"We got you guys, don't even worry. Y/N here will keep you safe!" Belikov said, looking over at you and winking.

You felt yourself blush, and quickly turned back to the controls.

"Well, looks like Woods owes all of us a drink after this shit show. You are sleeping on the couch tonight!" Adler yelled.

"Hey fuck you, I'll sleep there with your mom!" Frank retorted.

Man, the conversations between them never got old. You loved the time spent with the team.

You and Belikov pulled the helicopter over the ridge, where the team was going to hook up. You got up from the cockpit, and readied three a long, safety rope with three hookup points for the boys.

You dropped it over and it fell. You watched as they all attached, and you hit the botton for the rope to start slowly retracting.

You made sure they got in one by one, for the safety of everyone. You went back up to the co pilot seat and strapped in.

"Belikov, we are clear! Boys, headphones on!" You shouted.

They all put the headphones on, and started to relax a little.

"Good job as my helper today, Y/N. Soon, you'll be able to fly by yourself. And when that day comes, you'll feel so full and accomplished you'll burst! And that'll be the day I take you out for party." Belikov said, flashing you a dazzling smile.

"Well thank you, Dimitri. And you better! We've talked about this since I first started flying!" You said, Watching the skys.

"Of course, anything for you. You are amazing in everyway possible." He winked at you.

You felt like you were in a daze, until you heard a familiar, yet worrying ding. You immediately sighed, knowing exactly what that ding met.

"Fuck, of course! Dimitri I thought you said you filled up before we left!" You said.

Belikov shot you a "oh shit I completely forgot face" and shrugged.

"The beauty of Adler's face had me distracted. I must have forgotten." He said.

"Finally, someone that appreciates this handsome face." Adler mumbled to himself.

"Well, what now? We'll never make it past the summit if we don't fuel up!" Mason cried.

You turned, looking back at them.

"What happens now, is either Dimitri or I have to go outside and hang off the ledge. While doing that, one of us will have to quickly connect the emergency fuel so it can atleast get us back to a drop zone." You spoke calmly, turning to him.

"But, since Belikov did it last time, it's my turn. I will go do this real quick, prepare for a stop at a fueling station. It looks like I'm reading one about 20 clicks North." You said, slipping on gear.

"Y/N, are you sure about this? I can do it while you fly, come now. Don't be stupid, nyet!" Belikov said.

You looked back, and gave him a thumbs up.

"No, I can do it. It's only fair, don't worry I got this. It'll be quick and easy!" You said, slipping an emergency parachute on just in case.

Adler, Woods, and Mason all watched as you geared up, stepping towards the opening of the heli.

"Y/N, your fuckin' nuts. Do you need any help?" Woods questioned.

You looked back at him, and nodded yes. He got up and came over to you.

"I need you to hold onto my feet until I tell you to let go. I need to start off with a good grip, or else I'll go splat." You said.

He nodded, and you went prone. You hung halfway out, and grabbed onto the support handles. Woods grabbed your feet and secured you.

You clipped your belt to the safety clamp and gave Woods a 'hold steady' hand signal. But, to him it apparently looked like a thumbs up. So, out of routine, he carefully let your feet go.

Immediately, the strong winds pulled your body out of the side, and left you hanging by your harness. The wind whipped and slashed at your skin like tiny, ice cold daggers as you desperately tried to reach for the handles.

Everyone on board started freaking out. Belikov went to make an emergency landing, but there were too many trees. He looked and looked for the best spot possible, and finally spotted a clearing.

You were screaming, yelling and crying. You felt the harness behind to tick and tear. It was going to bust at the seams at any moment, and you were still in the air.

You hung from the clip in the middle of your chest, trying to use your feet to kick back to the side.

Adler was trying to reach you with his arm, but it wasn't happening. You were just out of reach by a few feet. You were out of options.

"Y/N!!! Hang on, we almost have you!!" Mason shouted, quickly throwing together a rope to secure you with.

"What the hell did you do idyot?? I can't land, we are right over Soviet territory!" Belikov wretched out.

He dropped lower to land, but not fast enough. By time he dropped almost enough, is when your harness finally tore straight in half. The clip broke from the force, and you dropped straight down, backwards.

You screamed as you felt the force of the fall practically crush you. You were able to turn to your stomach, and quickly reach for the string used for the parachute.

You fumbled to find out, but when you did you yanked. Relief swept over you when it deployed, and slowly descended down to a platform.

"Her chute deployed, but it's heading straight to the middle of that warehouse it looks like!" Mason yelled.

Belikov channeled your radio, worry racing through him.

"Y/N? Y/N can you hear this? If so, I landed just a few clicks West of you. This is heavily guarded compound!" Belikov spoke into it.

You landed with a thud, and you quickly switched it on, ripping off the vest. You quickly took cover behind a fallen log, looking all around at your surroundings.

"I can see, and that little stunt just sent out a whole fucking search party. They have dogs, please tell me you have a plan." You said, finally throwing the vest to the ground.

Adler came on the radio next.

"Y/N, the best thing for you to do is to try and sneak around to the West side of the compound. We are going to push to you so you'll be safe. Do NOT draw any attention to you. Meet me at the blue warehouse." Was what he said.

"Blue warehouse, got it." Was all you said, clicking it off. You reached for a sharp looking rock you found on the ground, and got up to slowly look around.

You determined the best path to the warehouse, and set off. You were hurt, scared, and shaking. You could feel the adrenaline move through your body, and you almost couldn't think.

You weren't mad at Woods, you knew it was an accident. But right now.....All you wanted was to be in the arms of Dimitri Belikov. You decided now, after you got back to the heli you were going to say how you felt.

You were ready, and nearly dying really helped you decide. You just hoped he felt the same way.

Meanwhile, back with Belikov he was ready to kill. He assembled his trusty AK-47 and was ready to full send it to you. His heart was in a panic, he felt like he was going to have a heart attack.

"Belikov, Y/N is going to be just find. Adler will go get her, and then you'll get us home. Everything will work out, I promise." Mason said, trying to get Belikov to calm down.

Belikov looked to Mason with tears in his eyes. He couldn't stand the though of you out there, alone with no weapon. But knowing you, he knew you found something. That's what he loved about you, and many other things.

"I know, but she is worth a lot to me. I love her." Belikov sobbed.

Mason picked up on his distress, and he opened his arms for Belikov.

Belikov accepted the hug, and Mason patted his back.

"This will be over in a few minutes. Adler and Y/N will be back in no time, I promise." Was what Mason said.

Meanwhile, Frank fueled up the heli. The plan was to pick you up, and book it back home. Nobody wanted to be here more than they had to be.

Back with you, you approached a small fire. Around the fire was a few enemies, asleep. One was in a chair, the other on the ground, and the last against a barrell, hat pulled over his eyes.

You went to step around the group and take a right, but you smacked right into the frame of an old truck. This ended up setting off the panic alarm. You dove behind another old car and held still, as you heard them all shoot up from slumber.

You heard guns cock, and your heart sank. You swallowed hard, and leaned your head back against a car, looking up. They all started looking around, you heard the footsteps.

You fully accepted that you were doing to die. How the hell were you supposed to fight four people off with a sharp rock, while they had full automatic weapons.

You felt no hope, until you saw familiar sunglasses. Adler sat up on the ridge above you, waving you to follow him. Your eyes went wide, but you moved when he signaled.

That was, until you ran right into a person. You looked up at him, and he began to yell in Russian. He pulled his gun on you, but you tackled him quickly. You subdued him somehow, and grabbed his AK.

But you and Adler both spotted a flare in the distance. The screaming of the base alarm system filled your ears.

"Y/N, let's go! Just run, we are right up here!" Adler yelled, taking your hand.

You both sprinted full speed up the ridge side, with the entire army base on your heels. Adler radioed in, and finally you saw the heli in the distance.

"Be ready to go! We have the entire base on our ass, we're about 100 feet from you!" Is what Adler shouted.

You heard the blades begin to spin, it was ready to go. You both gave it all you had ad bullets zipped and flew past your head at incredible speed.

You came to the last few steps, and booked it. You both dove into the side, and Mason slammed it closed. The helicopter took off at full speeds, while bullets hit the side, making a panging sound.

You huffed and puffed on the ground, completely spread out. You suddenly felt arms around you, and a head in your neck.

It was Belikov, you recognized his smell from anywhere. You looked at him, lifting his face. You gave him a big smile and wiped his tears away.

"Hey its alright, I'm here. I'm safe, thanks to Doc." You chuckled.

Belikov took your face in his hands, and tucked your stray hair away.

"I thought I lost you. Y/N, I love you. I realized that tonight, after thinking you were dead. I always have, and will." He said, a tear falling from his eye.

You choked up, and rested your forehead against his. Your hand stroked his face, as you leaned in.

"And the same as I, Dimitri. Now, kissing me you fool." You said with a laugh.

You locked lips. It felt like fireworks and sparklers went off in your brain. It was everything you ever wanted.

After pulling away from the kiss, Belikov pulled you to his chest, and held you there all the way back. He looked down at you, and lost it laughing.

"What's so funny huh?" You questioned.

"No offense Y/N but, you call that sneaky? Tripping right into an enemy?"

#black ops cold war #cold war #dimitri belikov #cod belikov #belikov x reader #frank woods #russell adler #alex mason #one shot

[this-sucks101]

~ get into it ~

Hello, nobody is going to read this but welcome to my very cringeworthy tumblr that takes me, an adult, back to my very quirky and depressed senior year of high school.

Allow me to set the stage...

I was an incredibly average gay kid living in a conservative, rural countryside with an immense hatred for my body stemming all the way back to early childhood. I distracted myself with friends, schoolwork, or going out every single day so I wouldn't have to sit in my room and obsess over what was in the fridge or pantry. I was happy, and I was skinny. Sure, I wasn't as skinny as I wanted to be at the time, but I would give everything to have the same body I had when I was 17 now at 21.

Now we're 4 years later and I'm a senior in college. I'm over 60 pounds heavier than I was in high school (all in fat) and although I'm now in an incredible relationship living in my own house and making decent money, I'm fucking miserable. I have spent every single day since high school pinching at the more round parts of my body, critiquing myself in every single fucking mirror, and comparing myself to the perfect skinny boys on social media and I'm done. I'm done hating myself, I'm done trying every fucking diet only to binge on a week's worth of fast food in one sitting - I'm ready to take this shit by the reigns and get back into it.

I want to be the skinny one in the friend group, I want people to call me frail or small, I want to wear baggy sweaters and beanies and when I lift my shirt, people are shocked at how small my stomach is and how my hip bones subtly stick out from my waist. I'm only getting older and every day is another wasted opportunity, another 24hrs that I will regret when I'm a fat old man whose melted into the endless cesspool of other fat angry old men that reminisce on days when they were younger and full of opportunity.

I am responsible for my weight, all 197 pounds of it. I put the food in my mouth, I value temporary satisfaction over long-term perfection, I tell myself "It's just one bite" or "It's just one meal", but all I'm doing is giving power to the fat ass that has crawled inside of me and taken place in what was once a skinny, happy boy's body. I don't care what the repercussions are; Hollow out my bones, make my hair fall out, destroy my organs and crack my lips - I want to be skinny. No, I need to be skinny.

I can do this because I have to do this, if I pass over 200 pounds - I will literally fucking die. No, I am not fatphobic - I have never discriminated against my close friends or family for being larger, but damnit this was not meant for me. I was never destined to go down this path, and with a BMI of 26 and a scale reminding me every morning that I am now classified as "overweight", I have nowhere else to turn.

I feel like everybody else in my life is constantly making decisions for me, which is why I have turned to food for comfort and satisfaction. At least if I'm depressed, McDonald's is still serving Big Macs or Starbucks still has the sweetest drinks - but this pattern of thinking has to end. I am a student and will be graduating with my bachelor's degree very soon and I don't have time to be caught up in my eating habits - which is why I will be focusing on studying, school, and my career rather than sitting for 15 minutes in the drive-thru because I feel like I can't control my cravings.

Here's to success, to persistence and motivation. I could care less if anybody ever sees this blog or if Tumblr decides to take it down (just like they did when I was 17) - because this, for once in my life, is entirely for me and nobody else (and I'm also an incredibly stubborn ass who will just remake this in the event that it's deleted).

Ciao, E.

#thin insp0 #anamia #ana blog #thin inspiration #male ed

[bookofmariokingofmaiami]

This is the second time making this post because i am angry as fuck because for some reason when I added the names it didn't save so I'm doing this shit again 

Hey! I had a stupendus idea, the past few days I've gathered a bunch of mitten squad quotes and captain sauce quotes

Soooo, I'll put wich book of mario characters would say each quote and we'll see what happens

Yes I know 99% of the mitten squad quotes is gonna be bolivia and carbon

Also, some quotes reference characters and locations, so I'll put an [ ] with what I think the book of mario counterpart would be

MITTEN SQUAD SEGMENT 

Lewis:"I have successfully turned an ordinary kitchen utensil into the most valuable fork in the known universe, no one man should have this kind of power, but I am not mortal man, as a sexualy identity as a big rock being thrown into the ocean"

Princess of peaches, talking about 1 TEC-20"The robot wasn't able to pick the lock and I lacked the fire power to blow the bitch open" 

Marc:"I left a broom there too so my bucket wouldn't be lonely"

Carbon:"Calm down vegetarians I am talking about animals in video games, animals in real life matter way less"

Barney one:"Killing it isn't the hard part, the hard part is getting away from the explosion of the goddamm Nagasaki bomb strapped up its ass that was rigged to explode once it died"

Bolivia:"Todd Howard [barbie], even in death you find a way to fuck me"

Bolivia:"We came back to the little shit with the ant problem and killed most of the ants, I left one alive for the boy, either he becomes a man or that ant will have a very good day" 

Goomb:"Me brain fixed gud no hurt no more"

Marc:"Picked up trash for the make a wish kid"

Bolivia, talking about maria:"Because she hits like a bull with down syndrome and has the personality of a piece of plywood"

Belize:"You might be wondering, who is the boy and who is the girl? I won't give it away but I will say this, the knife is a whore"

Maria:"I had armor, i had supplies, i had pockets full of room temperature tomatos"

Bolivia:"For some reason I thought that stupid the horse v2 could fly, bad decision on my part"

Carbon:"For some reason this shrapnel character had 200 BB's, what a weirdo, who caries around 200 BB's?, anyway, I talked to daddy and brought my 300 BB's and headed off to clear off the Jefferson memorial"

Goverman::"Get a juice box and strap on your helmet, because we're going to hell"

Carbon:"I punched a puppy to death"

Marc:"My iq is similar to that of a 14 year old block of cheese"

Lewis:"Theres an oxygen exhaust pipe, the second best tipe of pipe to suck on to keep yourself alive, for those who need hand holding, that was not a drug reference, this is a family friendly channel, it was a suicide joke"

Bolivia:"I got an amazing slow motion shot of dogmeat getting fucked to death by a nuclear warhead"

Maria:"My only option was to become a vampire, wich sucked"

Bolivia:"But just as when like how every virtual dog goes to hell when it dies, what the fuck does that even mean?"

Carbon:"I took advantage of a unconscious military officer and beat him to death"

Barney one:"Nothing else says more victory than overdosing on drugs after a war"

Prof. Ceasar reality:"And decided to go to the much bigger and much more research facility x-13 research facility facility center, WHAT? I think I had a stroke"

Bolivia:"Used more than 3% of my frag mines to blow up a dog"

Carbon:"The last few coursers ran for their non existence lives and I went after them because I'm not letting anyone get away, one got away"

Maria:"I got a warning saying that nuka world is intended for those level 30 or above, Mathematics show us that me being lv11 is close enough to lv30"

Carbon:"Killed a pain-maker and got a glimpse into the big G in the sky who manifested himself as a fire axe floating in the air, this voodoo shit has no place in zion so I chopped of the pain-maker's legs and arms so If there is an afterlife he will be a cripple in hell for all eternity"

Goverman:"Its head turned into jelly, I threw its egg down into the nightmare bellow, and then I jumped after it"

Carbon:"A herd of big hornets paid the ultimate price for being alive"

Goverman:"Used his gun to turn off a woman"

Maria:"Me being the player can't open the door, theres a know you have to twist it its a whole process"

Goverman explained why maria survived the fall:"One of them belonged to God and refused to die"

Goombell, talking about hoko saba:"The dragon I pretended to not exist a few minutes ago is one of my mom's friend's kids so I had to play with him even tho he's weird"

Belize:"There was no hamster's luck in a garbage disposal chance that I would follow this giant fuck all the way to the cit ruins"

Lewis:"Along the way i saved a shopping cart from drowning and returned it to its family"

Prof. Ceasar reality:"Its about 24 million cheez its away from New vegas"

Bolivia:"Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to bedworld"

Carbon:"With enough notches in my pistol to spell psychopath in braille"

Gooverman:"I spie with my little eye a ville whore who deserves to die, I cleaved her back in half with my stick and what I saw was glorious"

Maria?:"Its kinda like playing the floor is lava, but you can't see the lava and instead of burning to death you turn into a vegetable"

IDK"I hid from Ringo by hiding in ringo"

Bolivia:"The plate worked as well I thought it would, wich means it didn't work"

Bolivia:"There was a 3 for 1 discount on dead raiders if you use the promo code granade at checkout"

Belize:"The only explanation is that has a 5th appendage wich he pulls out on special occasions, wich probably isn't the case, we all know elmo doesn't pull out"

Goomb:"You don't need those things, Jesus got trough his life without any guns"

Goombape:"When i played it as a children"

Barbie:"Its like how you don't know if your life has any meaning until you die and see your score"

Belize:"This was the most stealth oriented part of the game by a metric mile"

Bolivia:"I stripped him naked, talked with Elliot [lewis] whose face bothered me for some reason,Talked with the samurai[maria], talked with red dead redemption [barney one]"

Carbon:"Some idiot spilled red paint on the clouds"

Bolivia:"Before traveling with the wizard, I spent some time pestering earnie with the prospect of friendship, by walking back and forth in front of him, making him think i wanted to talk to him just for me to keep on walking,I was voted the quietest guy I high-school and I know how loud earnie is screaming inside his head right now, it's kinda fun to be in this side of it :) ,also this isn't related to the video in any way, I just wanted to make it known that i have a sealed copy of elmos letter adventure for Nintendo 64 and you don't"

Maria:"I knew I could use that as a lighthouse of sorts in order to cast myself further into the ocean until i drowned in my own disappointment"

Goombell:"Vulpes[carbon] was adopted, his mother is both infertile and imaginary"

Belize:"Being alone is mental, you can be surrounded by friends family laughs and love on Christmas morning and still be alone in your head"

Bolivia:"I acted in self defense by committing various war crimes"

Carbon:"My throwing spears were broken and wouldn't fly,stupid fucking game" 

Bolivia:"That wasn't a lie, it just wasn't the truth"

Maria:"If there's anything Shaun b knows to do is die"

Boombell:"The number of bear traps I activated for sexual reasons turned my angles into a fine powder"

Goverman:"Where the grass is green and the air is even greener"

IDK"I consulted a doctor who flucked out of medical school and followed his advice by killing myself"

Belize:"Being a futuristic[X-nauti], nazi dominated world version of polly poc,etc it has its own set of drawbacks"

Marc:"They're mass effect 3 of fallout 3's 5th dlc, I've never played mass effect"

Lewis:"Who loves their father like how their brother loves his mother's sister"

Carbon:"Like most existential crises it went away after I killed somebody"

Carbon:"If you're wraped in chains and dropped into an empty bathtub to drown, a snorklew won't save you"

Goombape:""A wise man once said "hi! Jeanie may's here"  and he's right, there has to be a better way""

Browser:"After it took 3 grown man to kidnap a baby with a gun"

goldbob:"The lever action gun riffle can kill a mutant in a single shot if you land a shot that can kill it in one hit"

Maria:"Its 2020, Noone wants to use their hands anymore"

Bolivia:"Before journeying into more death, some jackass hit me with a granade and killed me, not the explosion, the granade bouncing off my soon to be corpse is was what made me dead"

Belize:"Some Neanderthals gave me their bullets to hold in a pretty rude way >:("

Princess of peaches:"Im not worried about offending blind people, it's not like they'll be watching this"

Carbon:"30 seconds is longer than you'd think, ask anyone whose been on fire"

Lewis:"I was as useful as a comatose toddler with a nerf gun at pearl harbor"

Goomb:"I also poused the challenge to satisfy the curiosity of mine regarding the birds in the sky that Don real because birds aren't exist"

Marc:"Any doctor worth their weight in styrofoam cups can fix a leg with their feet"

Bolivia:"I had me a silenced weapon, but I didn't account for today being his birthday, this changes everything, so I shaped for hollow point"

Carbon:"Maybe if Steve earlin had a gun instead of a snorklew he'd still be alive today"

Marc:"It took me 30 minutes and 3 phone calls to get my food because I'm too much of a pussy to go outside at 10 o'clock at night while drunk in a Christmas sweater after news year to steal my own food of one my neighbors doorstep"

Maria:"We've got rogue, tank dampse, and squidword"

Lewis;"And they're no joke, but I am, I am the big joke and my body is the punchline"

Bolivia:"I got mentally Nagasaki'd by this guy at the stables"

IDK"And went outside where Victor is unhappy with me, after killing Victor, Victor came out of the lucky 38 to avenge victor" 

Bolivia:" i shot a kid, i sent that little bitch to the moon"

Sushiya,  testing her products:"The door was of its axis, a plate was misbehaving on the chair, a cattle was dancing on the table like the whore she is"

Carbon:"And went shopping for dead bodies, they weren't in stock,  but i know a guy who knows a guy who could help me out, both of those guys are me"

Bolivia:"Now vault yosh is I your head too, and he won't be going anywhere"

Maria's son:"As much of a monster that I look like, I think it's gonna work"

Sushiya:"But you know what they say, imagination is what happens when annoyance meets drug use"

Carbon:"If they're stupid enough to be in my way they might as well be my enemy"

Goverman:"But the slippery bastard was too clever, he walked around it, I didn't even know that such a maneuver was even possible"

IDK"Homeland security at this point has yet to be impregnated by a sentient barrel of oil"

Bolivia:" if I drunkenly put a giant hole on my sink with a goddam coffee cup imagine what I could do with a gun"

Belize:"Got ambushed in the freezer while searching for chicken nuggets"

Goverman:"But the fucken bullet Williams come flying out of fucking nowhere"

Maria:"The next second you're in a universe where everything that exists is the sick bastard child of a drunken fuckfest between a pin screen and a light brush"

Bolivia:"Ask the cashier if they have a granade, if they say no, say nothing for a few seconds, put a big smile, put your hands on theirs and quietly ask, would you like one?"

Sean hampton:"Can't do anything until I have my arms around a fat man"

Barbie:"The premise of this run is that I have no arms and I must dab"

Maria's son:"I told you before that I was a genetic disaster"

Bolivia:"And in that cabin, theres some west Virginian mountain folk who are so deep in incest that one of them somehow managed to be his own father"

Bolivia:"Can you hear that? It's…. It's an air conditioner! And it's so fucking anoying, aw no I hurt it's feelings :( "

Goverman:"He could probably put the end of his musket inside his mouth, pull the trigger and still miss"

Barney one:"The big beaver ended his life in stile, he even made a summersault into the afterlife"

Goverman:"Im a good Christian boy,  I'll save my ammo for my suicide"

Carbon:"I am not Cinderella, I'm a parasite"

IDK"I played with a doggy too, it used the flesh on my arm as a chew toy, and I booked his nose with a nuclear newspaper to show that that kind of thing isn't allowed in the mitten squad household"

Sean hampton:"The crusable is a magical weapon like divorce papers, capable of tearing everything it comes across in half"

Barbie:"The curse of grandma sparkle managed to reach me all the way in hell"

Barney one:"If you are gonna get a cat, you might get a gun aswell"

Belize:"Corn on the Joe sat back not helping his brother's"

Carbon:"I bought 24 regular bullets,28 hollow points, and 60 that need to wear a helmet"

Bolivia:"After the squad died I had to content with the leftovers, the scraps, statically speaking the majority of what remained"

Lewis:"What I need to face is like a toddler with a learning disability, that would be fair"

Carbon:"I took both left eyes of this dead guy "

Carbon:"It took longer to pull out the Esther than it took of kill the general"

Sushiya, while high:"Deeper inside shit got weird, i killed a giant skeleton right? Nothing weird about that, but then his body just kinda danced in place really slowly, I tought speeding up time would fix it, that was a massive fucking mistake, and changing time back to normal was an even bigger mistake, he'll be hunting me until I die, but until then he'll still be dancing"

CAPTAINSAUCE SEGMENT 

Carbon:"They're old, how hard can it be to turn them into blueberry jam and ram them into the grass"

Belize:"I guess if you do electrocute a tank enough it would just explode"

Boliviz:"Id have a better chance of finding a snowball down here than winning a coin toss"

Marc:"How does my Christmas lights break to a stiff breeze but these ones are practically terminators"

Barney one:"I never tought id see the day where I would have to hire a sniper to assassinate a troublesome light bulb but here we are "

Lewis:"I get the feeling if you try to milk a minotaur then you're gonna be its wife"

Sushiya:"In the history of mankind do you think we've ever seen a snake fight an octopus?"

Goverman:"Lets see if you can wobble your way trough the grim reaper" [the grim being carbon]

Goldbob:"Its a steaming pile of something ill tell you that much"

Goverman:"He died? How! Did he have an allergic reaction to the sun?"

Goomb:"Michelangelo is Swiss cheese and where good to go"

Bolivia:"It really looks like I'm taking a sharpened stick to a bazooka fight"

Maria:"HOW DID I GO FROM FIGHTING AN OCTOPUS IN A SUIT TO WW3???"

Princess of peaches, talking about 1TEC-20:"Im playing pictionary with a blind robot"

maria:"Theres on the nose dialogue and then there's punch you in the nose dialogue"

Bolivia,  talking about barney one:"This lady looks like her father was half refrigerator"

IDK"Im supposed to sabotage the mail missile assembly line but it looks like someone got here before me"

Belize?:"And the ghosts of previously murdered pianos???"

Maria:"Im getting outsmarted by puppets"

Bolivia:"After careful deliberation with my associate we've come to the conclusion that the local government must have Removed all quarters from circulation,  the laundromat went under and before you know it the entire society fell into nudism and then anarchy "

Carbon?:"This is like the hunger games of sesame street"

IDK"Im a weird shotgun santa"

Garlic?:"Oh damm! CTHULO IS THICC"

Krump:"What kind of interdimensional time traveling toilet is this?"

Carbon:"Wheater it be cultural appropriation or demonic abomination,  i don't realy care im just gonna try to hit it with a pee bucket" 

Carbon:"THIS IS THE MEDIEVAL RUSSIAN VERSION OF DRIVING INTO BATTLE WITH A TANK BUT SHOOT PEOPLE WITH A BB GUN"

Belize::"I DIDN'T KNOW GRANNY WAS TAKING GRAVEDIGGER TO CHURCH THIS MORNING" 

Goombell:"This isn't a bridge its just the worlds weakest motorcycle trebuchet "

Bolivia:"Oh hellow mr berry"

Carbon:"Giant alien space worm 2020, make America worm poop again"

Bolivia:"When did snuffy[barney one] decide to judas me and join the hobbits?[origamis]"

Lewis:"Theres a surprisingly high amount of chickens in this map and a dramatic lack of eggs"

Bolivia:"Im pretty sure we've sent the first claim to the moon"

Maria:"And yet I'm forced to defend myself from stuff like bloodthirsty scp's using nothing but uncooked t-bone stake, I mean technically its doable but it doesn't make It any less ridiculous"

Barbie:"What's the point of a metal detector if literally everyone here has somekind of cybernetic, like I swear to God If I walk trough here aND you guys start pounding the shit out of me just because I got a couple of extra inches of robo-dong IM GONNA BE PISSED"

Bolivia:"Everyone's wearing slick black suits meanwhile I look like somebody skinned a couch from the 70s"

Sushiya:"Is this bacon flavored weed or weed flavored bacon?"

Sean hampton:"Do you think that Darth Vader ever had to deal with a rebel or a henchmen who was into getting chocked? Like starts force checking them and they tell him to go harder?"

Koopley:"I was stabbed to death by a naked man with a spear and my arm is perpetually running"

Koop kotu:"So I'm crazy enough to be locked behind bars but not crazy enough to think I can fly*

Bolivia:"Usually spooders have 8 arms not 8 abs"

Carbon:"I just bludgeoned Jesus to death with a stick of meat, I'm guessing he's gonna be back in a couple of days he's gonna be looking for me so we'll start running now"

Carbon:"Im done with words, shooty goody time"

Maria?:"Id have a better time cutting down bushes then these strange little robo hobits"

Belize:"Dad this is not the time to be dancing with crabs!"

Maria:"Thats my little brother, who has a fully posable deny devito action figure,I've always been jealous of that one"

Bolivia:"The turns are tabbleling"

Maria, talking about barbie:"She's not exactly the brightest tool at the picnic"

Belize:"Are you kidding me mom? Realy?, you were the one that said you're sick of seeing donkey kongs donkey dong"

Maria:"I have no idea what was in that Wonster energy drink that made him go master roshe style"

Bolivia:"I want to file a complaint against Stacy [belize] for T-posing to assert Dominance over me"

Marc:"Believe it or not dangling a padlock the size of a shoebox from a doorknob does as much work as I want to"

Caesar reality:"You can never have too many rotten floor bananas"

Carbon:"Poisoning your boss is probably not the best way to skip work, but ya boy gotta do what he has to do"

Goverman:"I'll take nicknames of my penis for 300$ alex"

Starvinden?:"I guess we'll just leave you in your special sarcophagus mr tutan-deez-nuts"[browser]

Lewis:"I've been skipping work for 2 weeks now and I'm starting to think that my computer isn't even plugged in"

Bolivia, talking to maria:"Your suit smells like a wet fart and your mouth smells like a ashtray"

Bolivia:"If anyone needs me I'll be on the insane asylum,  why am I caressing a mannequin on top of a boat?"

Carbon:"Would you like to hang yourself or be crucified? Dealers choice!"

Bolivia talking about carbon:"He's doing something ingenious probably diabolical……..or he's dressed as a panda"

Marc:"We should really pay for security around here not only are people breaking in there is also a giant spine breaking chickens"

Maria to Bolivia:"You are very angry at that stake"

Sushiya, after using its products:"I wonder why was I twerking at the office statue"

IDK"WHY IS THERE A GIANT NAKED MAN IN THE LOCKER CHOCKING ME TO DEATH WITH A CHAIN??!!!"

goombell:"I guess we're gonna leave the cookie monster dildo in the locker"

Sean hampton, to Maria:"My love for you is like diarrhea, sometimes I just can't hold it in"

Bolivia:"You're watching me In a Google video platform playing a game from a Google gaming platform that was translated using Google translate, if this isn't a dystopian future I don't know what is"

Bolivia?:"I couldn't have predicted the run after her like a velociraptor made out of pool noodles"

Lewis:"Jumping Jack neighbor help me!"

Bolivia:"Bread! There's no bread,there's your bread! That's a cookie God dammit"

Belize:"So I can be invited to the worlds saddest birthday party"

Maria:"I guess we're playing ring around the Rosie till I lose his dumb ass"

Carbon:"If you see jehovah's witness you tell them to eat shit"

Bolivia:"HOW CAN YOU AFFORD A GUARD BIRD AND NOT A DOOR STOP?"

Bolivia::"For my shopping list I need to find a floppy disk with a s, but for the distraction I could use a floppy dick with sunglasses and a tie"

Carbon:"I really hoped that your little bird bath had a couple inches of water so I could steal a tiny toaster to throw it in with you"

Belize::"Its pretty safe to say Mr voice bad Benjamin good, but we just saw Benjamin talk with the grim reaper and pull around a cart wich is about the size of a child's body"

Goombell:"She may have a crush on the interdimensional death fox"

Maria:"Its like the herpes of craft supplies"

Barney one:"Everyone wants to split checks for keano Reaves, even if they're a 10ft dragon made out of logos and seizures what is going on right now?"

Sushiya, high, again:"When I dilapidated the banana and poked the mayo's brain then had an indept conversation with the strawberry cocoon did bread get arrested? I didn't see the police come by, that would make sense because the alcoholic cat ran away"

Carbon:"IF THEY HAVE AN ASS TO PULL PUNS OUT OF THEY HAVE TO HAVE A BRAIN TO THINK THEM UP"

Goombell:"I think I graduated for the university of food torture"

Well, this is all, took some time but it's here, hope you enjoyed

Frequent reblogers

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PLEASE REBLOG!

#funny #mario #paper mario #book of mario #bolivia #mary #barbie the bob omb #1000 infernal air sleeves #quotes #captainsauce #mitten squad #paul #goomb #goverman #goombell #carbon

[the-firebird69]

We have a lot of stuff to be concerned about the more like her up in arms Tommy f is up in arms, they're right up in our son's face so we're going to attack them. In the Eastern hemisphere Matt just calling on them to destroy 200 out of the 500 molok bases that are large and they're the largest so it's saying this if we do that they'll start attacking all over the place. If we simply gas them or something they just keep refilling it. It's my idea we touch it for 2 hours you know passing it out and we know it has some repercussions but not that many and they want to do it full scale on all the bases and our son says that's good but what about like full scale and all the bases like a tune so it's intermittent they can refill feel good about it and they started laughing kind of like close encounters or Jaws but our style you have to figure it out by location you need to slow down we can and just do it on a different one so you started that up and went very well and they're like imitate other people too that's going on too and they're trying to take each other stuff because of it so we hit him again. Truth is there's a whole world of hurt out there more luck and you ain't worth s*** to anybody and they know it they need to get you they're frustrated and they're tired and not doing so good at it so we thought we'd give him a leg up this idea took off this morning and we hit all 500 in the eastern hemisphere eventually and they refill it's about a 1 million hit now you're down to 32 million octillion roughly actually dropped to 30 million octillion recently and now it's going to be probably 20 million at the end of the day because of this alone and you're trying to bring in people to Brazil and Canada and Russia and you're losing another million octillion an hour so I drop sit down to 10 million just on one day you're infighting like madness they can't control yourself it's horrible you screwed around with her son for so long trying to do that he had to laugh at you it's life for death for him too Bono whatever your name is boner bja piece of s*** who cares... No we don't like you what we're doing takes power and you don't know it at all in any way the mac thing is just controlling it to a degree can't tell how much cuz you're in the way and they're fat retard asses. Tommy f was grabbed by Max right up the street and taking the central Florida that'll probably be fumigate another 1 million octillion and you in Florida will be cut in half or better in the neighborhood it was small I will take advantage of it. Your men are going to the occasion holes. If you add all of it up give me the down to like a nice round 4 million octillion before you try your attack and you'll probably put everything you got into it and you lose the rest now that's very optimistic viewpoint. The bases that are only eastern hemisphere come evening will be attacking here go get a pool stuff out that holds after a certain point but it does hit a bunch of you but here isn't it again fighting over a massive ship and they're getting toasted they're included in the number no and they have a horrendous number of people but foreigners in macs after them you don't have to worry about that.

The fight over the mega ship has become enormous and clones are coming up and they're coming up in the central Florida this could be one of the world's first armageddon's in other words there's going to be a slaughter out there and it will probably eliminate most warlocks that are in this hemisphere practically it's a fight to grab Tommy f they're going to force their way in and Tommy f is going to have to leave does he won't be able to get his people here after time and we do know where he goes Italy eventually he goes to South America in wherever he goes his clones get slaughtered and the morlock get slaughtered. We'll put in some ground rules about him now that he's banned from our areas and from populated areas other than s centers he can go down if he wants but we don't want him top side

There's more too you people have been killing each other off for quite a while and there's a lot of blood debt and especially with John remillard tons of people want him dead. Hospital notes are opened up from all over the world constant notes about why he's so irritating with him messing with our son. We got to the point where they're all exploding I'm saying to get it and John rimelord out of there and his son and his brother and anybody else that's theirs cuz it's such a huge steaming a****** let's try looking at her son and pity him he said he was trying to fight he's having a hard time and we're not helping it's going around that they need to do something so they're sending troops and a lot of them and we're coming in too, Trump will be slaughtered the bases will be eventually destroyed and they're going to pin it on stand Sherry and a few rebels which go out there and entire pack. Stan says I have to do it. She can't stop him and they're doomed because of it. One day she calls our son to thank him for the help she says being a little nasty and he goes what's wrong so you're grounded on us I said what are you talking about we went out there did something stupid it was in space she said I know we can't help it cuz it doesn't do anything it's like suicide and everyone keeps on doing it to me so you're thinking for a while and he said I don't know what to tell you there's not much people can do in this society in this realm and she said I feel bad for you too and that was it they went out and about and didn't come back. So he gets abandoned again. This is all sorts of stuff on her way out she says that's for not noticing flipping them off says you're my grandma again and she goes all good that's what that is put it back in her cadre and said it makes sense the boy won't do it he can't he's not allowed to these people don't allow him and I surely think it's kind of stupid and it standing right there and heard her said said that's what it's all about now you said no it's not so they're leaving in their tears almost and they heard our sun going Frank he said this just because we're young there's no other reason it is yelling at like Shane so you got it don't go speeding off for the German car all sudden he started to weep and said he's saying it right on and someone's yelling Frank and it was Garth in the airport and they're going in their boarding the plane and they said I can't help him. Got figured it out and he said you go do what you got to do and we can't help you if you do and that was it it went off in an adventure. You know the sun says I'm so close to doing it to them my whole life we'll see what a piece is fall he's going okay he's got a deadly punch he was too shooting that piece of s*** next door. He says I guess everyone can shoot him and said yeah we shot him a bunch he just tries to come back and get shot. So there's a lot going on but a lot of stories are sad they're friends with his parents and real friends and learn stuff and it was tough going for them when they left they noted too so these are real tiger but he's very destructive and is worse but they had to do something

-it's another normal day in the neighborhood according to the idiots it's not really we're having a tough time and police are moving in and they're dislocating them from their houses and they're not taking their houses over they leave them to fight over them it's a big fight too these numbers are all adding up to them disappearing possibly in one day we have people who are estimated they might be gone by 6:00 tonight and our son says don't forget to calculate in their weird lay back and sit on their ass cycle I did that said they can heat it up with Tommy f it's absolutely true they're a huge armies trying to get here now and that little wall might not do it and the sun has an idea to cordon off somewhere in the middle cordon off the Gulf and the South and to leave it like that maybe even to cordon off the whole golf to force them on to the possibly to the South until the East maybe not the South but the West the West should be off and they're actually thinking of doing that as a fallback. It's time to do it now they're going to hold them up north and they'll get ready for him from all the easy and West. And they're forming ranks and they're going to keep them on the east I'm tired of this idiots flowing in and the block the North it's a pretty good idea I'm going to give him a chance and Billy z will fight from that side trying to break his people out and break himself out. It's going on now. This is a good idea and it really is and see what's going on in Mexico and Brazil and they can hold them but they can try and make it to the South in realistically this is their big push and they're almost out of people 3% sounds good and anything less than 3% and just riding I heard that going around. You're having a wall put up no there is a wall in the middle that's not very big it's like 30 ft high or something but only is a big tank could go over it regular tanks can't even like 145 foot couldn't enlisted blasted through and take a while

There is more going on it's pretty big stuff but this isn't big enough. There's a war going on with the clones underground it's a huge War and people need machines to get around top side and we're delivering them tons of them and they're very much needed we here and we have more than 2/3 coming out now that the flow of ships has stopped we can get the ships out and they did notice that's a good time for that to happen. Huge numbers of vehicles coming out and we're going to publish it's all extremely huge

Thor Freya

Zues Hera

Olympus