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killian-whump · 4 years

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COLIN DREAM! :D

Okay, so this was a really long, really detailed and totally WILD dream, full of lots of celebrities (both real and completely nonsensical) and I was even a bit of a celebrity myself :D I’m only going to write up the parts about Colin and anything that’s required to help you understand those parts, because this beast of a dream was LONG and weird. For example, I spent a big portion of the dream dating Bruce Willis, who eventually proposed, but said “Will you marry me, Jeff?” and I was like *record scratch* “My name’s not Jeff. But THIS GUY’s name sure is!” and I pulled Jeff Goldblum, like, out of nowhere and then Bruce was like, “He’s perfect!” and they ran off together. I mean, just remember, this whole thing is a product of your pal KW’s subconscious mind. It’s probably best not to ask too many questions... I know *I* don’t...

Okay! So necessary background. The dream was taking place at what was essentially a County Fair of some kind. I was a minor local celebrity, mostly because I had a tiny bit role in something that got me associated with Brucie Poo (I kept calling him that? I dunno, don’t question it). I also had a stalker of sorts, who showed up periodically, claiming she was me and causing trouble. Also, there were some... size issues. Like, sometimes everyone was the same size, but then there’d be these windows of time where everyone morphed into different sizes based on how popular/famous they were.

So I knew Colin was at the fair, but I didn’t see him anywhere. He was listed as being an attendee, but there weren’t any events listed with him in it, so I figured he was just attending as a “normal person” and not as a “star” and someone just decided to add him to the attendee list to take advantage of his presence. But, you know, I was everywhere at this fair, sticking my nose in everything, lol, as one tends to do when it’s one’s own dream and they’re basically the star of it. So, of course, I found that rapscallion...

HE WAS LITERALLY WORKING ONE OF THE BOOTHS. Wtf, Colin. Why are you like this, even in our dreams??? It was a music/memorabilia stand, so he was selling vintage LPs and CDs and photos/posters of celebrities - mostly musicians. And he’d lightened his hair to a medium brown, and was clean-shaven and kinda styled his hair a bit different, so for some reason I thought he was “lying low” or something. So I was at the booth and he came ‘round and I was like, *quiet, conspiratorial voice* “Hi, Colin” and he was like, *equally quiet, conspiratorial voice* “Hi” and that was all, but he was ringing people up and, like, singing under his breath, kinda absent-mindedly, and he was just so chill and relaxed and had such a warm vibe, I was just... soaking it all in like a big, grinning idiot. I think I might’ve spooked him though, because he eventually skedaddled to the back of the booth, where I noticed HELEN was at, as well, and I was like “ahhhh precious Holin in my dream, I am blessed” (I tend to always be semi-lucid in my dreams, so I often know it’s all a dream).

Anyway, so while Colin was busy working literally hiding back there, I perused the wares a bit and found some EPs of The Enemies that nobody knew about, and Colin was on the liner art of them and I was like, “Oh, I better buy these...” and I was looking for more of them, because I didn’t want to miss any of them, but they weren’t filed correctly. Someone had put them in the B section - some alphabetized under “Band, The” and some sorted under “Boys, The” and it took me a minute, but then I was like, “COLIN, NO. COLIN, WHY DID YOU DO THIS. COLIIIIIIIN. You’re the only one here who calls them “the boys” or “the band” - like, you have to alphabetize them by their actual name, what, why are you like this, I love you so much” and I was almost crying, because it was so hilarious and adorable and I literally could not handle it, because it was such a Colin thing to do T_T

So then this totally super Irish fellow comes up to me, and he’s like, “Can I help you?” and I was like, “Wellllllll, I’m kinda just hanging around, because I was hoping to get to properly meet Colin and maybe get an autograph.” and the guy was like, “Oh! Oh, you’re a fan of our Col! Okay, alright, we all thought you might be a nutter...” and he was like, “Lemme go tell him.” and meanwhile, I’m here thinking, “I mean, all of Colin’s fans are basically nutters, so you weren’t wrong... but, you know, we’re good, well-meaning nutters...”

So I wait for someone to come back. Either the Irish guy or Colin. And I wait. And I wait. And somewhere in the midst of this, everyone reverted to their “fame” size and I got super big and everyone working the booth and shopping at the booth stayed small, and I was like, “Oh, good, now I can easily find Coli- Where the fuck did Colin go?” And I’ve got my magnifying glass and I’m like, “OH MY GOD, you’re kidding me, Colin, why are you still tiny?! You’re WAY bigger than I am!” and he’s like, “No, no, I’m just a normal guy” and I’m like “YOU’RE FUCKING RIDICULOUS, IS WHAT YOU ARE.” And then I felt bad for literally spying on him with a magnifying glass, so I put it away and I was just stood there, shaking my head, because WHY IS HE LIKE THIS?!

Then everything’s back to the same size again, and I’m perusing the wares some more. Suddenly, there’s Colin on a stage, and he’s introducing some band-I-don’t-know to come onto the stage, and he says “There’s a fan of mine here that I’d like to recognize...” and then he invited me on the stage to introduce the band, and just as I open my mouth to do so, my stalker suddenly does it instead, and nobody even noticed it wasn’t actually me. I was pissed, but I didn’t want to ruin Colin’s nice gesture with a scene, so I just... frowned, but let it slide. Besides, at least my stalker knew who the band was. But then Colin inerrupts the band and the song they’re playing and he’s like, “WAIT. Something’s wrong here. I wanted to let [my name was Angela in the dream - as part of my semi-lucidity, I’m often “role-playing” as people who are somehow me, but also Not Me, because it’s fun to be different people :)] do this, but someone jumped in and did it for her. So since that didn’t work... How about I sing a song I just wrote for her?”

AND I’M LIKE, OH MY GOD, WHY DON’T YOU T_T

And he starts singing this ridiculously adorable song all about ME and how awesome I am, and I’m like “I better remember EVERY detail of this, because I gotta tell everyone about it when I wake up, because this is RIDICULOUS.” And, guys, it was adorable. It was, like, this quirky sort of ode to everything about me, but done in this tongue-in-cheek way that was just kind of sassy and silly and very flattering and I was like, “YOU ARE THE CUTEST TEENY TINY MAN IN THE WORLD, I WANT TO PICK YOU UP AND PUT YOU IN MY POCKET, LIKE LITERALLY” and Helen was like, “Please don’t.” and I was like, “Okay.”

So then his song was over, and Helen was teasing him about this one stanza, because she thought he was complimenting himself in it, and she was like, “So... you think you have kissable lips, huh?” and he was like, “No, no, I was singing about her, not me. It was just a line, yeah? She’s famous and known for that,” and Helen was like, “Right, but you sang it like it was about you... are you sure it wasn’t about you?” and he was like, “No, no, shut it, nooooooooo” and it was the cutest thing ever? Blessed Holin teasing T_T

Then Colin got wind that I wanted an autograph, but didn’t have anything for him to sign. I mean, I had a Tic-Tac box, lol, but who asks someone to sign a Tic-Tac box?! So he disappeared off somewhere, and it took me a second to spot him, digging through the Celebrity Photos box at the booth for a photo of himself to sign, and I was like, “WHYYYYYYY are you like this?” all over again, because I could’ve done that myself, but he wanted to surprise me T_T

So I’m standing there, waiting for him to come back, and Helen’s there, looking lovely. She’d darkened her hair a bit to a nice light brown, and was in a 50s style A-Line dress with a stylish necklace and I was silently fangirling over her, because she was SO pretty and lovely, and I wanted to say hello, but didn’t want to make her feel weird. But then she looked like she might walk away, so I spoke up and said, “Are you Helen?” And of course I KNEW it was Helen, but I didn’t want to freak her out. Well, she gets a little suspicious/wary and goes, “Could be. Why?” And I played it cool kinda, and said, “Well, if you ARE Helen, I just want you to know that I really respect and admire you, and think you’re just lovely, and I know it must be hard to have to “share” your husband with the world, and I know you’ve had some bad experiences with Colin’s fans in the past, but I want you to know that he has a lot of fans who just think the world of you and are really rooting for you and Colin in every way, and we just want you two to be happy and healthy and we wish you both all the love in the world.” and she seemed touched by it and gave me a hug <3 BLESS

Then Colin came back, and he had a really nice picture of himself, and he signed it for me and everything, and then the fair was closing, or at least their booth was closing, so there were goodbyes and hugs and then I was all alone in their booth, because apparently they all just fucked off and LEFT THE ENTIRE THING BEHIND, with all the albums and photos and everything, and that is NOT how you run a profitable business, Colin.

Anyway, the dream continued, and I turned the booth into an Irish Ski Slope for some bizarre reason, I mean, the Irish part was to honor Colin, but I’m not sure where/how the whole skiing thing came into it. I don’t know how to ski? And then Brucie Poo came back around to rekindle our romance, or at least appreciate my breasts some more (he was a big fan, apparently), and there was no more Colin... (woe).

And now I have to go eat something, because I’m STARVING!!!

Hope you enjoyed my dream :) I sure did! <3

#colin dreams #dream colin #holin #BLESS #not whxmp #kw has dreams #wholesome colin is wholesome

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ducktracy · 4 years

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165. porky’s building (1937)

release date: june 19th, 1937

series: looney tunes

director: frank tashlin

starring: mel blanc (porky), billy bletcher (dirty digg), berneice hansell (rabbit), tedd pierce (sandy c. ment, dog)

alas, the photo limit prevents me from placing this in here, but the cartoon opens with a highly amusing disclaimer:

any similarity of characters or happenings in this picture to actual people or events is definitely intended................. if you think we're going to sit around for days thinking up new ideas - you're pixilated!

somewhat of a strange anomaly is mel blanc voicing fat porky. this is the first frank tashlin cartoon since porky’s romance, the last cartoon to feature porky’s original voice actor, joe dougherty. fat porky wouldn’t survive past 1937—frank tashlin was the sole person who kept him going, after tashlin’s porky’s double trouble he got a diet. this is more of a personal anecdote than a concrete observation, i always found this so-called “transitional period” amusing. nevertheless—it’s up to porky you beat his rival, dirty digg, to see who can build the best town hall the fastest.

frank tashlin, ever the cinematographer, introduces the cartoon with a silhouette behind a closed door, the door identifying the silhouette as sandy c. ment, city building commissioner. tedd pierce provides the voice for sandy, discussing the plans for the new city hall about to be built. we see porky and a particularly grizzly brute as the gentlemen sandy is referring to, the only two contractors in the city. they’re both tasked with building the city hall--whoever can come up with the cheapest bid wins. i believe it’s norm mccabe who does some particularly funny animation of porky waving to his rival, only to receive a steely glare in return, much to the rejection of porky. i’m certain frank tashlin’s feelings towards porky were projected into that glare.

sandy displays the city hall plans, revealing a poster of an art deco feat of modern architecture. tashlin’s cartoons in the 30′s are particularly rife with the streamlined, art deco feel, supported by his tendency to use jazzy underscores as we see here as well. more norm mccabe(?) animation as porky and his rival get the papers they need to sort out the bids. lovely animation as any sense of camaraderie between the two is gone in a snap, both nose to nose (or nose to snout?) as they stalk over to their desks to crunch the numbers, not once breaking physical contact or eye contact until absolutely necessary. mel blanc and billy bletcher’s voices collide as the two crunch the numbers aloud, the billy bletcher brute deliberately copying porky’s numbers. the two finish, the staring contest resumes, and they do the same furious tango back to sandy.

as fate has it, the two reach a tie with their bids at $3,000,000.02 each, with a hilarious detail of dirty diggs’ paper including scribbles of a stickman and a self serving game of tic tac toe, indicating just how dedicated he is to his craft. the tie stumps sandy on how to determine who gets to build the city hall, until he reaches a conclusion—both get to build the city hall. whoever finishes first, wins. a lack of sound effects hides the detail, but there’s some rather amusing animation as sandy jabs a finger in porky’s face and honks dirty digg’s nose daffy duck style.

transition to the two now at their respective construction sites, waiting to take off like runners in a race, accompanied by a crowd no less. sandy fires a starting pistol, and the two take off to build. digg hops into his backhoe, clearing the land for his building. can’t go wrong with the backhoe scooping up a giant boulder and crunching it up with an anthropomorphic mouth, spitting the chunks into a cart. porky’s dinky little contraption is just as whimsical, with a mechanical boot slamming itself against an actual shovel suspended by a pulley to clear the way. frank tashlin does a wonderful job juxtaposing the personalities, through mannerisms and extraneous details such as their equipment.

the rubbery animation associated with digg is only furthered as he struggles to pull his backhoe out of the deep hole he dug for himself--we see that the street lamps in the city are caught in the machine, bobbing up and down in their respective “posts”. finally, digg prevails, pulling out a tangled mess of rubbery street lamps. points for creativity.

elsewhere, the cartoon takes a rather morbid yet wonderfully hilarious turn: a dog construction worker loads crates of dynamites into a hole, chuffing halfheartedly on a pipe as he waddles back to the dynamite lever, hands in pockets, marching along to a whimsical rendition of “boulevardier from the bronx”. rolling up his sleeves, he prepares to pull the lever, when a crowd of spectators approach, leaning in as the dog prepares to fire. the dog opens one eye and grunts “step back folks, ya bother me,” VERY well timed to a nice little oboe underscore with each syllable. the crowd gives him his space... until the dog prepares to fire again. another “step back folks, ya bother me.” they oblige, until they don’t. the charade continues, until finally the dog waddles back to the hole where the crates are stashed, rendition of “boulevardier from the bronx” and all. the dog pokes an eye open as the lemmings inevitably wander to the hole of dynamite (a fitting underscore of “let’s put our heads together” to boot.) the dog squeezes his way through the crowd, heads to the lever... and BOOM! cold blooded murder dismissed with a mere dusting off of the hands. a WONDERFUL gag timed succinctly and purposefully prolonged--the same dog would reappear a year later in porky the fireman, another tashlin piece, doing the same prolonged waddle and same accompaniment of boulevardier from the bronx.

a collection of some whimsical animal gags, gags that feel like something out of a harman and ising cartoon, albeit more polished. two beavers load cement and sand into a cocktail shaker strapped to the side of a camel, a pelican dumping water from its beak into the makeshift cocktail. the camel shakes the shaker, all of the animals swaying along. perhaps slightly outdated, yet still fun nonetheless. turtles flip their shells open (wheels attached to the top--or in this case, bottom--of the shells) and tow away the mixture created by the animals. meanwhile, a dog carrying a load of cement, the hod carrier, marches up a support beams thanks to suction cups tied on his shoes, complete with some jaunty music and animation. dirty digg lives up to his namesake by playing dirty, hurling a brick at the dog. the dog falls, his suction cups continuing to ascend up the scaffolding, underscore and all.

we meet camera shy porky for the first time in a few minutes, a reflection of frank tashlin’s distaste and uncertainty regarding the character, who encourages his team to “get in there and fight!” they’re all lined up along a bench, a sign above labeling them as “HOD CARRIER SUBSTITUTES”. thus sparks the running gag of the cartoon: as the substitutes dash off do to their duty for porky, a diminutive rabbit (voiced by berneice hansell, of course) zooms up to porky, donning a sweater that reads “HOD CARRIER” as she squeaks “how ‘bout me, porky?” porky isn’t at all convinced by her diminutive stature, snapping “no!”

on porky’s team, a few pelicans pull the appropriate levers to mix water, cement, and sand in their bills, flying off and twirling their heads and bills around to create the mixture. one pelican successfully discards his load down a long chute to the construction site. the next, however, isn’t so lucky. ever the conniving weasel (or dog), digg attaches a dead fish to a balloon for the oncoming pelican to feast on. the pelican, eager for the snack, spits out its mixture in favor of the fish, the mixture pouring from the sky and landing right on porky. none too deterred, porky encourages his cement mixer substitutes, a line of pelicans, to, once again, get out there and fight. as they fly off, the eager rabbit from before, now donning a sweater labeling her as a cement mixer, squeaks “how ‘bout me, porky?” the same routine as porky once more yells “no!”

digg’s construction site is going swimmingly, as to be expected. a wonderful slanted layout as we spot the builders hard at work. despite the success of the building, digg barks “okay boys, c’mon down. i don’t need you anymore.” digg marches into his office, a makeshift shack on the site, and we’re left to ponder what it is he’s scheming as a rolling pan of the exterior shields us from digg's view, the billy bletcher laugh the only thing cluing us in to nefarious acts. tashlin loved to do the concealing pans, and they work out well in his favor, adding a sense of suspense and anticipation. out on the other side comes digg in a fancy new machine--DIRTY DIGG’S BRICK BRICK LAYING MACHINE.

porky, who’s dutifully laying his bricks the old fashioned way, spots digg’s new trick, and is hardly pleased. mel’s stuttering is particularly heavy, still attempting to emulate joe dougherty as porky complains “say! you can’t do that!” digg takes no offense. “well, i’m doing it, ain’t it?” settings on digg’s machine include start, full speed, super speed, super colossal speed, gosh darn fast, and reverse. digg pulls the lever to start, increasing the speeds as bricks inevitably hurtle out of the chute and land right into place on the site of his building. wonderful (and tedious!) complex animation as the bricks pile on, one after the other, even porky taking a moment to admire the handiwork. tashlin’s cartoons always seem to entail bits of animation that seem so tedious and complex to animate, such as a whole mess of train cars zigzagging on train tracks in porky’s railroad, or the interminable pile of luggage carried by daffy in porky pig’s feat. tashlin’s eye for detail is keen.

a score board gloatingly displays digg’s lead over porky: digg has 22 stories, porky 2. as porky mourns his loss (”woe is me... woe is me!”) no matter--the eager beaver bunny from before is there to cheer him up, donning a “brick layer” sweater with the same “how ‘bout me, porky?” porky declines. a quick zoom in and out, and the rabbit asks the same question, now donning a “colossal brick layer” sweater. porky once more declines. with the third and final “super colossal brick layer”, porky finally yells “no!”, to which the rabbit sulks off. thankfully, porky has a change of heart. “ok-ok-o-oka-ok-ok-oka--alright, eh-geh-geh-go in there and eh-feh-fi-feh-fight!” little rabbit is ecstatic.

the power of popeye compels the rabbit as she flexes her muscles, even flexing her ears to make a pair of makeshift muscles. one ear scoops the mortar, the other tosses a brick on top, and we very quickly realize she is MORE than capable for the job, laying bricks three times as fast as digg’s machine. the scoreboard hurries to adjust porky’s “score”, both of them now tied at 77 stories each. even better is the little “whew!” the rabbit sighs after pausing to rest, a lovely bit of comedic timing both underscoring and highlighting her work.

now, digg rushes to beat porky’s building, realizing he has a worthy competitor on his hands. the two are neck and neck... until the poor mechanical design of digg’s brick layer lands him in hot water. he mistakes the reverse setting for the highest speed setting, and with a hearty kick to the lever, the lever breaks and is now stuck in reverse. mel blanc seems to provide digg’s exclamation of “gosh! it’s stuck in reverse!” instead of bletcher. just as quickly as he had laid the bricks, the bricks of digg’s building come hurtling back into the machine, the machine swelling bigger and bigger as it threatens to burst from the congestion. digg’s entire building is now without a brick, and to make matters worse (or better), the machine finally explodes.

porky’s dinky little backhoe from before comes to life, digging a plot of land the perfect size for digg to fit in. digg flops to the ground from the impact of the explosion, receiving a swift kick to the ass with the machine’s shoe and a konk on the head via shovel for good measure.

elsewhere, porky triumphs, his city hall now complete. the cartoon’s motif of “fifty-second street” triumphantly underscores porky’s victory as he shakes his fist in the glory, perched on top of his architectural feat as his adoring fans shout from below. suddenly, we’re visited by a familiar friend: the little rabbit from before zips to porky’s side. “how ‘bout me, porky?” instead of shooing her away, porky is more than happy to lift her up and have her pose on his outstretched hand. a wholesome iris out as the little rabbit clasps her ears together like fists, reveling in the glory.

truthfully, this is probably the one porky cartoon i forget about the most. not that it’s bad by any means, but out of his hearty filmography of 153 cartoons, this one isn’t the most notable. with that said, this is a fine cartoon. the animation is certainly the highlight: whether it’s porky and dirty digg doing their furious nose-to-snout tango, the dog lumbering around the site of the dynamite hole, the animals mixing cement together, or the entire brick laying montage, there is a lot to admire, the climax of the cartoon especially. the “how ‘bout me, porky?” gag is especially amusing, albeit taxing (as it was intended to be), and the dynamite gag with the dog is wonderfully morbid. porky still has a very transparent personality, yet mel’s deliveries are fun to listen to, especially at this stage when he’s still figuring out the speech patterns. the cartoon’s music score is absolutely WONDERFUL, very jazzy, very upbeat, a fitting score to match the streamlined look of the cartoon.

while this isn’t my go-to recommendation for porky cartoons, it makes for an amusing watch. i wouldn’t urge you to drop everything and see it, and if you don’t watch it you’ll be just as well off, but this is a fine cartoon with a lot to admire.

link!

#lt #porky’s building #looney tunes #reviews #tashlin #long post

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choombata · 4 years

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Part 2 - Hospital Bills and Hotels

Friday, May 29, 2020: Our heroes (well, player characters) met up the following Friday for a little braindance at the local arcade. After running out of quarters, they regrouped and exchanged notes. In order to figure out their next moves for tracking down the source of Kaleidoscope, they’d have to work together.

Ackbar, the group’s techie, had been resourceful during the week, and managed to plant a tracker on one of the Black Queens’s motorcycle runners, so they’d know when they were headed to The Slammer to pick up a new shipment.

In order to kill time before the runner made their move, Deck volunteered to take a hit of Kaleidoscope to figure out what it does. Our heroes shoved Deck with a needle full of the drug into Tic Tac’s isolation chamber in her ripperdoc office. Deck shot up, and not long after experienced an extremely good high. Colors, joy, euphoria, an amazing cure for the daily woes of Night City.

About an hour after the dose, Deck started to get antsy. Then agitated, then outright hostile. He started banging on the isolation chamber door, seemingly focused on anyone who looked like trouble. People holding weapons or just making direct eye contact with Deck was a target of his hostility. Thankfully, the isolation chamber door held, and eventually Deck came down from the bad trip.

Tic Tac was taking notes on his vitals while this was going on. Kaleidoscope was doing something funny to Deck, amping up his adrenaline production and making him perceive his fellow Edgerunners as an immediate, intense threat. Cognitive decision making went out the window. This was an alarming side effect of a new street drug. But even the most hardcore combat drugs they feed to corporate supersoldiers leave the user (mostly) able to distinguish between friend or foe.

Before the crew could get too deep into analysis, Ackbar’s tracking beacon went off. The Black Queen drug runner on the move again, so our heroes made their way over to The Slammer to catch the deal in progress.

The deal was going down in the arena balcony, where the high-rolling chromers and boosters hang out. Our crew formulated a plan where Deck would hack the local power grid and knock out the lights, then Ivy and Ackbar would sneak in to the deal in progress and grab the bags full of drugs (and hopefully some cash, too).

So Deck cut the lights and the plan kicked into gear. Unfortunately, during the distraction, Deck slipped up, and accidentally turned the lights back on right when Ackbar and Ivy were making the grab. Guns were drawn, and in the ensuing melee, Ackbar took a pistol round to the dome. She crumpled to the ground. Our heroes took down the rest of the hostiles, grabbed one of the duffle bags, and called Trauma Team, who arrived just in time to whisk her off to recovery.

After a night in surgery, the crew got some good news: Ackbar’s injuries were thankfully not life threatening, and she was being patched up for discharge. She got some nice replacement acrylic skull parts to keep her brain goo safe, though her cognitive abilities would be slightly inhibited until she fully recovered.

As for the bill, it would be 6250 euros, with 10% compound interest accruing every week unpaid. Luckily, the bag our heroes grabbed from the melee at The Slammer contained lots and lots of cash. After tallying it up, and figuring out how much of it was counterfeit cash, they discovered they had enough to pay off Ackbar’s hospital bill, plus a little left over.

The following day, the crew regrouped at V’s hideout at the Widmark Hotel. Home of The Black Death, her gang. V got a call from Mila, the Black Queens turncoat, who decided to spill the beans about where the Kaleidoscope was coming from. It turns out that our heroes were chasing a the wrong trail: the deal at The Slammer was just an exchange for dorph, and the Voodoo Boys weren’t selling Kaleidoscope. The Black Queens were going to The Central Hotel near the corporate zone for their supply of K.

Using this tip, Deck ran with it and hacked into The Central Hotel’s mainframe to see if he could find some juicy info. Some snooping uncovered a suspicious long-term rental under the name Cathryn Byrn. Deck also managed to slip in some falsified employee records for the hotel, giving our crew a way in. Bud was also “booked” as an opening act for a concert at the hotel.

Our heroes made a plan: Ivy and Heavy were to use their cover as hotel security to ensure the real security was distracted. Bud, V, and Ackbar were part of Bud’s band, and would use their social skills to get close to their target. **Deck **and **Frogs **were to pose as cleaning staff, for Cathryn’s floor in order to get into her room. Tic Tac was booked as a “VIP” in the suite above Cathryn’s room. The raid would go down the next day.

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#cyberpunk 2020 #ww campaign #tabletop #rpg

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cywscross · 3 years

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For @badthingshappenbingo, for the square ‘Epidemic/Pandemic’

For @acrosstheuniversebingo, for the square ‘Domestic’

For @anyfandomfluffbingo, for the square ‘Taking Care of You When You’re Sick’

Title: Light in the Dark

Fandom: Teen Wolf

Rating: T

Word Count: 21716

Summary: It still surprises Stiles sometimes, how easily he’s adapted. Seven months in a world filled with train tracks and soul-sucking fae, and it feels like he’s never known anything else. ~~ Or, the one where diverting the Ghost Riders from Beacon Hills to prey on a different town only succeeded in setting them free.

Characters: Stiles Stilinski, Peter Hale, Original Animal Character(s)

Relationship(s): Peter Hale/Stiles Stilinski

Tags: Post-Season 6A AU, Canon Divergence AU, Apocalypse AU, Post-Apocalypse AU, Pandemics, Return of an Ancient Race, Wild Hunt, Catatonic Peter, Magical Stiles, Spark Stiles, BAMF Stiles, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Loneliness, Depression, Mental Breakdown, Cats, Wolves, Snowed In, Domestic, Fluff, Mild Angst

Also Submitted For: - 100prompts Challenge - 031. Hide - Tic Tac Woe - Return of the Old Gods/Ancient Race - Gen Prompt Bingo [Round 19] - Someone gains Purpose - Trope Bingo [Round 16] - AU: Zombies - Hurt/Comfort Bingo [Round 12] - coma - 100ships Challenge - #02. Snow

#steter #cywscross #acrosstheuniversebingo #badthingshappenbingo #anyfandomfluffbingo #fanfiction #teen wolf #100 prompts challenge #tic tac woe #gen prompt bingo #trope bingo #hurt/comfort bingo #100 ships challenge

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everly-kindred · 4 years

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Eve’s Diary - Entry #55

Date: 28th of March, 2027

Dear Diary,

It’s been a little over a week since I’ve last written in you, but a lot has happened. Mostly just classes and stuff this time, thankfully, and nothing particularly bad. It’s been kind of nice, actually. It’s been raining and warming up, and I’m really excited about spring. I love the sound of the birds and the bugs singing! It’s been really relaxing to hang out outside, or in the Common Room with the windows open.

So I wrote Talula about what happened with Abigail, and she said I shouldn’t do anything because I helped fix the situation… But also I caused it! So I still feel guilty, but I think I know what I’m going to do. I asked Marigold to help me make some chocolate chip banana bread for all of them. I want them to know that I’m sorry, you know?

Class wise, we’ve been doing a lot of stuff! I’ve sort of been tuning out what’s been going on in History of Magic, which is really dumb because I actually really like that class. Just, the past two weeks I’ve been in kind of a fog, and I’ve had a hard time focusing. Same with Ancient Studies… I don’t really remember what we talked about in that class this week. Also Magical Theory… We were talking more about wands, their bonds and woods and cores… Winning wands and that sort of thing. But I’ve been getting distracted there, too. I got to sit next to Ruby in one of them, though, which was nice!

We’ve had a couple herbology classes. The first one, we dealt with leaping toadstools and Christmas roses. The leaping toadstools were very cute, I think. I miss the section we had been doing on toadstools at the beginning of the year, to be honest. In the second one, I went with Ruby and we talked about faeries and toadstools that were living and could like… move and talk and stuff, because of the doodles I had been doing. In that class, we talked about poison ivy and cattails. Ruby and I went to work with the cattails, and he exploded a bunch and got the white fluff everywhere, which reminded me of when I used to do that by the creek when I was younger.

In Arithmancy we’ve been talking about the butterfly effect. It was a little confusing for me at first, but I think I’ve gotten the hang of it now. Professor Rask had us write out an example about the butterfly effect, so I wrote out this:

You're playing Gobstones... and then one of the gobstones rolls away, into this crack in the wall. You try to fish it out but realise it went through the crack all the way to the other side, and on the other side of the wall is the courtyard. So you go around to try to get your gobstone, when you see a fairy has picked it up and is flying off with it. You chase the fairy all the way to the forest, so focused on getting your gobstone back that you don't even realise where you're going. And then you chase the fairy and have to fight it to get the gobstone back, and by the time you get your gobstone back, you realise you're lost in the forest.

Being lost in the forest could probably mean death, but for the sake of this scenario, we'll just say that you find your way back and are late for class, and also your uniform is in tatters. All because of a gobstone.

So yeah! I think I understand it now. I’ll have to see if Rask gives me any grades on it.

In Care of Magical Creatures we talked about Phoenixes, which made me very happy and made me think about Maxine a lot more. I actually dreamed I was her, and had wings to fly with last night! I still think it’d be wonderful to fly with wings. I love flying on brooms of course, but yeah. Big, powerful feathery wings. Or, if I was tiny, delicate fairy wings!

In Vikander’s Defense Against the Dark Arts class, he had us take a portkey and go through this maze thing. At first I was paired up with Marigold and two other Hufflepuff girls, Brandi and Aleena. A lot of the obstacles were solvable with first year spells, but my wand didn’t work at all! And then we came to these gate things, and this shadow said one of us had to stay behind, so I volunteered because I was basically useless. It was scary at first, but if I pretended the shadow was my dad in a halloween costume, spooking me like he always tries to, it wasn’t so bad. Marigold thinks the shadow was just Vikander in a cloak.

Anyways, the shadow grabbed me and separated me from them, but then I found Essa, and eventually we found Aloy, who seemed really upset. I don’t think we found the right way out, because we ended up under this grate and had to shoot sparks up which, now that I’m thinking about it, was one spell I managed to actually do. And then Vikander got us and said we were late. The shadows were whispering about how we were promised to them or something, but we got out, and were actually the last ones, which is a little embarrassing.

In Cavanaugh’s Defense Against the Dark Arts class, we’ve started talking about Boggarts, and I think we may be dealing with them next week. I might get out that potion Bonnie and Persephone had brewed me for the occasion… would that be cheating? I guess I should ask the professor.

We talked about stars and such in Astronomy but I find it hard to remember numbers and the names of the planets and stars and constellations. I think I’ve just gotten very day-dreamy lately. I’ve been finding it harder to pay attention.

In Transfigurations, we practiced Colovaria some more but I couldn’t get it right. This Ravenclaw girl turned my desk purple, though! And in Artificer Club, we played this giant game out on the pitch. It was sort of like if tic-tac-toe and wizard’s chess crossed together and made one game. Like the board and pieces looked like wizard’s chess but the way the game worked was like tic-tac-toe.

In Dragonology, we’ve been talking about Dragonology as a career and famous Dragonologists, which has been kind of fun. I don’t think I’d want to be a Dragonologist, but it sounds interesting anyways.

I went to Music Theory with Aures but we were just reading stuff out of a book so I had a hard time paying attention in that class, too. Though, I did start thinking about starting another Dungeons & Dragons campaign while I was in that class, and realised there’s another sound to add to my list of sounds I really like, which is the clickity clack sounds of dice rolling.

In divinations we’ve been doing automatic writing. I decided to work on a typewriter with Marigold, and last week, I saw the words foe, woe, 3b (Three Broomsticks?), hive, and hedge. I didn’t translate any of it, though, just thought about what it might mean. This week, I asked if I’d do good in dueling today, and I got the word ‘sky.’ Which, when I translated it, talked about success! So hopefully that’s a good sign. I won my first dueling match last week actually, against Briony! I’m about to go to dueling now, and I’m really eager to try again and see how I do. I feel much more… confident and excited than I did before, even if my wand has been giving me a hard time. So anyways, I should probably go to dueling!

Much love, Everly

[ Eve’s Wiki Page ]

[ Flickr ]

#harry potter #hufflepuff #magic #witch #diary #magical #witchy #witchcraft #journal #hogwarts #secondlife #second life #mischief managed

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primeideal · 7 years

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Original fantasy for tic_tac_woe, 5,000 words. Some death (it is the apocalypse), no violence or sexual content.

#tic tac woe #my fic

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amindamazed · 5 years

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Challenge: post the names of all the files in your WIP folder, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. Seen in various places and posted because I haven’t posted anything that wasn’t a reblog in a while. Please join in, if you are so inclined!

These are all Holmesian works, mostly Elementary, started 2013-2018. A few may have been posted and I just forgot to move them out of the WIP folder, and a couple more have been posted but still have an epilogue or a revision languishing unfinished.

What the Beekeeper Saw [folder]

Eclipsed [folder]

Something Is Always Far Away [folder]

five detectives

Dr Watson, I Presume

levels

dragons

These Accidents Happen

all that is bizarre

revised Doubts Don’t Deter Detectives III?

No one in this world deserves pain

“You’re mocking me”

Interstices of Care

summer 2016 holmestice?

relapse thoughts/Incremental Insight

The Most Curious Thing Happened (It's a Wonderful Life)

Going to Schenectady [shoscombe] [folder]

attachment

Doubts Don’t Deter Detectives IV unfinished [folder]

grand gift of silence

what joan watson does in bed

Doubts Don’t Deter Detectives VI [folder]

Amygdala

Under the Circumstances-2

Doing Heroine

Pastime

[ghost story]

watsn woes extra

Glamorous Life of a Detective

things you said

notHolmestice

With Difficulty

flash

13 Ways of Looking at a Fall

House at Baker Street

winter holmestice 2016?

in the company of others

Underneath

tic-tac-woe prompt card

[iris - summer holmestice 2017?]

kaleidescope

impasse

Halloweenlock2017

Take and Read (2018 fiction-poetry challenge)

#me #writing #fanfic #works in progress #oh holmestice I keep trying

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art-of-manliness · 6 years

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10 Tips for Taking Your Kids Out to Eat

When you’re a busy parent, going out to eat can be a godsend. There are just some days when you don’t feel like cooking dinner, you don’t feel like cleaning up the subsequent mess, and you don’t even feel like getting take-out; after waiting on other people all day, you’d like to sit down and be waited on yourself. Going out to eat can be a nice way to kill some time with your kids and relax as a family. If, that is, your kids are well-behaved and everything goes smoothly at the restaurant. Otherwise, a dinner out can be just another thing that adds to your stress. So below we offer tips for taking your kids out to eat and not only keeping things copacetic for you, but for the restaurant’s staff and other patrons as well. A Preemptive Rule to Start: There Are Some Restaurants You Shouldn’t Bring Your Kids To There are some people who hate seeing small children at nicer restaurants, and even as a parent of little kiddos myself, I certainly sympathize with their gripe. When people pay for a nice meal, they’re not just paying for the food, but for the experience — the ambiance, the service, the break from their ordinary lives. These are not extras beyond the meal, but factored right into the price of the food itself. When you then bring babies or small children into the mix, and they end up crying/whining/causing a scene, you disrupt the atmosphere and essentially rob other patrons of the experience that they’re paying their hard-earned money for. It’s thievery by a thousand wails. It’s like wearing a sombrero to a movie theater. It’s not cool, and it’s not polite. So you generally shouldn’t bring small children to restaurants where they run the risk of violating the reasonable expectations other patrons will have for their meal. Where they’re expecting class and calm, and a night that’s not like all the others they spend at Target or Cicis Pizza. How do you know if a restaurant is too nice to bring your kids to? If it keeps the lights low, and doesn’t do to-go orders, that’s a sign. If they don’t offer a kids’ menu, that’s an even surer sign. The younger your kids, the more conservative you should be in your judgement. There’s no such thing as a well-behaved or predictable baby, and their cries are actually evolutionarily designed to burrow into your brain and spike a dump of cortisol (so you feel alert and motivated to soothe the dependent creature’s woes); nobody wants a side of stress hormones with their meal. If your kids are older and very well-behaved (and predictably so), you have more leeway as to which restaurants to take them. 10 Tips for Taking Your Kids Out to Eat 1. Fast casual restaurants are your friend. Fast food restaurants are cheap, but make you feel like you’re contributing to the childhood obesity problem. Full-on restaurants are expensive, and keep junior waiting a long time for his gourmet mac ‘n cheese. Fast casual establishments — e.g., Chipotle, Panera, Zoës Kitchen, Pei Wei — sit at just the right nexus for families: they’re reasonably affordable; they don’t offer full table service, but enough to make you comfortable; and the food is a little higher quality and healthier than fast food, while still coming out with a speed that doesn’t severely tax your toddler’s limited attention span. 2. When possible, opt for restaurants with kids’ menus that include activities. Being able to do a little coloring and tic-tac-toe really does wonders for a child’s ability to wait for his food to arrive. Pro tip: Pei Wei’s got a great kids’ pack that they don’t give you automatically, but will offer if you ask. 3. Know some entertaining, tech-free games to play with your kids. In the absence of an engaging kids’ menu, or if they finish its activities and the food still hasn’t come, you ought to have a few tricks up your sleeve for keeping your children entertained. Instead of just handing them your smartphone, and teaching them to be a screen-addicted zombie, play an easy tech-free game with them; we have 9 ideas to try here. 4. Have a special “restaurant bag.” For a young child, there’s no better toy than a new toy (or at least one they haven’t seen in a while). In addition to having an arsenal of non-smartphone activities, you could try having a dedicated restaurant bag. This is something that only comes out when going out to eat and includes small, noiseless toys/activities. Think cheap happy meal toys, sticker books, etc. If used only sparingly (or even weekly), your child will gleefully re-engage with even the smallest toy simply because they haven’t seen it in a while. Kids have short attention spans, and sometimes coloring on menus or games of “I Spy” don’t last through an entire meal. 5. Order the kiddos’ food right away. If you’re at a sit-down establishment, it’s a good idea to order food for the little ones right off the bat. There are a few benefits here: 1) when kids need to eat, they have very little patience (more on that below), 2) it gives time for their food to cool a little bit; if you wait to order everything at once you might be digging in while they’re moaning about food being too hot, and 3) kids are slow eaters — we find that even when ordering 10 minutes apart, the kiddos finish their meal about the same time we do. 6. Always, always put lids on their cups. A must for the little ones who will somehow find a way to spill their drink as surely as the sun rises in the East. But even as they get older, and can probably refrain from knocking it over, it’s still a good idea to put a lid on it. 7. Bring emergency snacks/drinks. While you shouldn’t bring an entire meal with you in your bag, bringing a sippy cup of milk or an applesauce for a small kid is sometimes necessary. When a toddler needs to eat, they need to eat now. And while it’s good to teach patience at home and live with a tantrum every now and then, eating out is not the place to do that. The staff generally understands this, and if they seem annoyed, rest assured that they’d rather have some peace than a table of wailing children. 8. Utilize the opportunity to teach good etiquette. Going out to eat is a great opportunity to reinforce good lessons in manners; make sure your kids say please when asking for something and thank you whenever the waiter brings them something. 9. Do your best to control the mess. We serve others so often that it can sure feel nice to be served instead. But don’t fall into the temptation of using a restaurant meal as an excuse to let it all hang out — allowing your kids to make a huge mess and then just getting up and leaving it all for the staff to clean up. Even relatively well-behaved tykes can make an outsized mess at the table. Do your best as a courteous patron to keep things in check — wiping up spills and picking up debris that falls on the floor. Alleviate the burden for the waiter/bus boy as much as you can. 10. Always tip at least 20%. Even when you try to corral the chaos, waiting on and then cleaning up a table at which a family with small kids has sat is typically more burdensome than waiting on/cleaning up a table of adults (at least the well-mannered ones!). Your tip should reflect this extra work — always give a gratuity of at least 20% when dining out with the toddler set. If you can’t afford the extra tip, you can’t afford to eat out with your family. The post 10 Tips for Taking Your Kids Out to Eat appeared first on The Art of Manliness. http://dlvr.it/QKQ0fK

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cementpizza · 6 years

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Small tips to help anxiety

You might not think that these will help, but for many people- myself included- they really do.

Drink more water!!!!!! If your body isn't getting enough water, you're not going to be able to function properly. Extra tip: if you're properly hydrated then you should not be thirsty and your lips should not be chapped.

Clean up and organize messy areas!!!!!!! Even cleaning up a small portion of a mess or cleaning out one drawer can make you feel better. Clutter tends to weigh us down and cause us to feel anxious in areas where we otherwise should feel calm.

Be near a scent that you like!!!!!!! For years now I've kept some sort of small scented product in my pockets or purse (chapstick, hand sanitizer, small perfume, etc.) so that I can sniff it when I get highly anxious. The smell calms me down and keeps me grounded, and coming from a small, controlled source keeps it from becoming overwhelming. I also have a wall plug-in with my favorite scents in my room so that I always walk into a scent that I love.

Take a shower/bath!!!!!!!!!! It doesn't even matter if the water is hot or cold, whatever comforts you more (most people find that hot water is more comforting though). You don't even need bubbles, a bath bomb, or anything special really, just the water on your skin is a pleasing and relaxing sensation.

Look at pretty plants!!!!!!!!!! If you live in a very nature-y area then you're all set for that, just go outside for a bit and walk through! It's always great to have plants in your living area but if, like me, you can't manage to keep plants alive, you can always go to the garden section of a local store. Just walk through there and let the feeling of nature quiet you.

Make a playlist of calming songs!!!!!!!!!! This one you have to do when you aren't anxious because it can be hard to focus when you are anxious. Find calming songs (or noises) and compile a playlist for when you're feeling anxiety come on so that when it happens you can just play the music and sit back.

Carry mints or small candies with you!!!!!!!!! I keep a small pack of mints in my work apron so that if I have an anxiety attack at work I can pop one in my mouth and focus on the texture and flavor of that rather than the situation. It's a great and discreet way to bring your attention away from whatever is causing you discomfort while keeping you in the room. If mints aren't your thing then carry around fun-sized candies or some other small flavored thing like gum, tic tacs, Altoids, etc.

I have one final tip but this one is not in-the-moment so much. My favorite thing to rid myself of anxieties, anger, and sadness is to do what my friends and I call The Burning of the Woes. We start a fire, then take pieces of paper/cardboard/something flammable and write down all the bad things we'd like to forget or be over onto those pieces. Once we're done we throw it all into the fire. It's very simple but somehow feels incredibly cleansing and, if you do it every few months or even once a year, you might find yourself feeling like you're getting a clean slate each time. There's just something so therapeutic about burning all of the negativity away.

So those are my personal tips for combatting anxiety and why they work for me! They aren't anything super big or life-changing, they're all very easy to implement into your life so feel free to try out any or all of them as you wish! I hope that this helps you or someone else out there. :)

#anxiety #anxiety tips #idk what to tag this really #elly helps #personal tips #tips

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thepermanentrainpress · 5 years

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EVERYBODY LOVES FIN: EPISODE 4

The Vancouver Canucks’ 4 game win streak had to come to an end, and the team’s power play decided early on that New Jersey was the city to fall in. Don’t let the 1-0 loss to the Devils fool you; while it wasn’t entirely a lopsided affair, the visitors weren’t sharp enough to score an equalizer, and head to New York for yet another matinee on Sunday.

Thatcher Demko had another strong showing in net, and this loss is by no means his fault—the team simply could not generate any offense. Jacob Markstrom is expected to play tomorrow, having rejoined the group for practice on Friday. Demko kept the Canucks in contention, I thought he had better rebound control overall than in past games, but goaltender Mackenzie Blackwood (and a strong group of players willing to sacrifice their bodies – 23 blocked shots total, 5 by returning captain Andy Greene!) came out victorious. Blackwood could see their shots, and what he couldn’t see was kept away from the net by his team. He was active, and square in net when he needed to be. The Canucks didn’t make it difficult, especially not on the PP.

It was donut hole for 7 this afternoon, largely uninspiring outings that were not short of missed opportunities. Q. Hughes got the green light from Travis Green to PP1, pleasing fans alike, but sadly neither unit could convert. On their first outing, we got a rare glimpse (this season) of an Elias Pettersson one-timer – shot wide by a Petey lacking confidence. Throughout the game’s duration – power plays included because I didn’t consider them special by any means – scoring opportunities came from Jay Beagle (set up by Tim Schaller), Petey hitting a crossbar (our eyes looked skyward in unison), Bo Horvat on a tic-tac-toe play, Alex Edler out of the penalty box on a breakaway, and Myers in tight.

youtube

Sure, not all games will have PP opportunities, but the Canucks need to start making them count on the board, as today’s game dropped them to 0 for 21 on the road (4 for 9 at home). The shots aren’t accurate nor quick, there’s rarely momentum, and many shots are finding bodies before the goalie/net. While it’s nice to see Quinn moved up to PP1, it is Boeser and Petey who need to find their footing for any sort of consistent success, and sustained pressure, on the PP. Also, can someone remind Edler to shoot the puck, and stop sashaying across the blue line? I’ll give credit where it’s due—the Devils had an aggressive PK, which forced quick decisions, and their PP came out when it needed to.

Things got feisty in the second, but remained relatively tame in the third period. In the back half of the 2nd, Edler caught a low skating Blake Coleman with an elbow to the face, and Brandon Sutter dropped the gloves with Mirco Mueller (it was a light wrestle). There were some flared tempers, and one could hope the Canucks were feeling frustrated after their PP woes and lack of execution. I’ll let tomorrow’s play do the talking, and hope they rest up for another early match. It’s disappointing they couldn’t come out with a win (or a loser’s point) since 1 goal was highly attainable, but it’s still early on in the season. I don’t see what is practiced behind closed doors, but some decoys to force quick passes, accuracy shooting, and converting on broken plays might benefit when special teams take over. On to NYC!

Posted by: Chloe Hoy

#Everybody Loves Fin #Chloe #Canucks #Vancouver Canucks #Vancouver #hockey #hockey blog #NHL #New Jersey Devils #nucks #Jack Hughes #Quinn Hughes #Thatcher Demko

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healthnotion · 6 years

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10 Tips for Taking Your Kids Out to Eat

If, that is, your kids are well-behaved and everything goes smoothly at the restaurant. Otherwise, a dinner out can be just another thing that adds to your stress.

So below we offer tips for taking your kids out to eat and not only keeping things copacetic for you, but for the restaurant’s staff and other patrons as well.

A Preemptive Rule to Start: There Are Some Restaurants You Shouldn’t Bring Your Kids To

There are some people who hate seeing small children at nicer restaurants, and even as a parent of little kiddos myself, I certainly sympathize with their gripe.

When people pay for a nice meal, they’re not just paying for the food, but for the experience — the ambiance, the service, the break from their ordinary lives. These are not extras beyond the meal, but factored right into the price of the food itself. When you then bring babies or small children into the mix, and they end up crying/whining/causing a scene, you disrupt the atmosphere and essentially rob other patrons of the experience that they’re paying their hard-earned money for. It’s thievery by a thousand wails. It’s like wearing a sombrero to a movie theater. It’s not cool, and it’s not polite.

So you generally shouldn’t bring small children to restaurants where they run the risk of violating the reasonable expectations other patrons will have for their meal. Where they’re expecting class and calm, and a night that’s not like all the others they spend at Target or Cicis Pizza.

How do you know if a restaurant is too nice to bring your kids to? If it keeps the lights low, and doesn’t do to-go orders, that’s a sign. If they don’t offer a kids’ menu, that’s an even surer sign.

The younger your kids, the more conservative you should be in your judgement. There’s no such thing as a well-behaved or predictable baby, and their cries are actually evolutionarily designed to burrow into your brain and spike a dump of cortisol (so you feel alert and motivated to soothe the dependent creature’s woes); nobody wants a side of stress hormones with their meal. If your kids are older and very well-behaved (and predictably so), you have more leeway as to which restaurants to take them.

10 Tips for Taking Your Kids Out to Eat

1. Fast casual restaurants are your friend. Fast food restaurants are cheap, but make you feel like you’re contributing to the childhood obesity problem. Full-on restaurants are expensive, and keep junior waiting a long time for his gourmet mac ‘n cheese. Fast casual establishments — e.g., Chipotle, Panera, Zoës Kitchen, Pei Wei — sit at just the right nexus for families: they’re reasonably affordable; they don’t offer full table service, but enough to make you comfortable; and the food is a little higher quality and healthier than fast food, while still coming out with a speed that doesn’t severely tax your toddler’s limited attention span.

2. When possible, opt for restaurants with kids’ menus that include activities. Being able to do a little coloring and tic-tac-toe really does wonders for a child’s ability to wait for his food to arrive. Pro tip: Pei Wei’s got a great kids’ pack that they don’t give you automatically, but will offer if you ask.

3. Know some entertaining, tech-free games to play with your kids. In the absence of an engaging kids’ menu, or if they finish its activities and the food still hasn’t come, you ought to have a few tricks up your sleeve for keeping your children entertained. Instead of just handing them your smartphone, and teaching them to be a screen-addicted zombie, play an easy tech-free game with them; we have 9 ideas to try here.

4. Have a special “restaurant bag.” For a young child, there’s no better toy than a new toy (or at least one they haven’t seen in a while). In addition to having an arsenal of non-smartphone activities, you could try having a dedicated restaurant bag. This is something that only comes out when going out to eat and includes small, noiseless toys/activities. Think cheap happy meal toys, sticker books, etc. If used only sparingly (or even weekly), your child will gleefully re-engage with even the smallest toy simply because they haven’t seen it in a while. Kids have short attention spans, and sometimes coloring on menus or games of “I Spy” don’t last through an entire meal.

5. Order the kiddos’ food right away. If you’re at a sit-down establishment, it’s a good idea to order food for the little ones right off the bat. There are a few benefits here: 1) when kids need to eat, they have very little patience (more on that below), 2) it gives time for their food to cool a little bit; if you wait to order everything at once you might be digging in while they’re moaning about food being too hot, and 3) kids are slow eaters — we find that even when ordering 10 minutes apart, the kiddos finish their meal about the same time we do.

6. Always, always put lids on their cups. A must for the little ones who will somehow find a way to spill their drink as surely as the sun rises in the East. But even as they get older, and can probably refrain from knocking it over, it’s still a good idea to put a lid on it.

7. Bring emergency snacks/drinks. While you shouldn’t bring an entire meal with you in your bag, bringing a sippy cup of milk or an applesauce for a small kid is sometimes necessary. When a toddler needs to eat, they need to eat now. And while it’s good to teach patience at home and live with a tantrum every now and then, eating out is not the place to do that. The staff generally understands this, and if they seem annoyed, rest assured that they’d rather have some peace than a table of wailing children.

8. Utilize the opportunity to teach good etiquette. Going out to eat is a great opportunity to reinforce good lessons in manners; make sure your kids say please when asking for something and thank you whenever the waiter brings them something.

9. Do your best to control the mess. We serve others so often that it can sure feel nice to be served instead. But don’t fall into the temptation of using a restaurant meal as an excuse to let it all hang out — allowing your kids to make a huge mess and then just getting up and leaving it all for the staff to clean up.

Even relatively well-behaved tykes can make an outsized mess at the table. Do your best as a courteous patron to keep things in check — wiping up spills and picking up debris that falls on the floor. Alleviate the burden for the waiter/bus boy as much as you can.

10. Always tip at least 20%. Even when you try to corral the chaos, waiting on and then cleaning up a table at which a family with small kids has sat is typically more burdensome than waiting on/cleaning up a table of adults (at least the well-mannered ones!). Your tip should reflect this extra work — always give a gratuity of at least 20% when dining out with the toddler set. If you can’t afford the extra tip, you can’t afford to eat out with your family.

The post 10 Tips for Taking Your Kids Out to Eat appeared first on The Art of Manliness.

10 Tips for Taking Your Kids Out to Eat published first on https://mensproblem.tumblr.com

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