#those are in descending order of importance to feeling better

[baejax-the-great]

Absolutely reeling.

So I knew that the origin of "Hector was a great man, moral, noble, better than all of the Greeks" began as Roman propaganda that somehow has made it to now, the year 2023, and is still taught to high school students.

What I did not know was why scholars shit on Achilles as vehemently as they did (and still do).

My copy of Fagles' translation of the Iliad has a preface by a different scholar who I'm not going to bother to name because he's an idiot (and idk probably dead at this point). I read the entire thing, absolutely baffled, because he would cite a part of the text (that I admittedly had not read yet! at all!), quote it, and then come to the most batshit interpretation based on that quote I had ever seen in my life. His general take was that Achilles was a sociopath who had no feelings for anyone other than himself and his own pride, and every action he took (until welcoming Priam into his hut) was done in service of that pride. To support this, he decided that Achilles did not see Patroclus as a person, but rather as an extension of himself, and thus someone injuring Patroclus was them injuring Achilles, and so he did not care about Patroclus, he only cared about his wounded pride.

Yeah.

That sounded wrong before reading the book, and while reading the book all i could think was, "Did we read the same fucking thing???" Put in context, those quotations still did not support his conclusions whatsoever.

But i cracked open Caroline Alexander's "The War That Killed Achilles" last night, and she solves this mystery of "Hector good, Achilles bad" for me right out the gate (which is good because so far I've only read the preface).

Western Europeans by and large learned about the Trojan war from Roman stories, which became fairly popular, and not the Iliad, which was not translated into French or English until centuries later. As mentioned, these were propaganda that cast the Trojans in a much better light than the Greeks because the Romans believed they were descended from Trojan refugees. This starts a trend that is still going on in scholarly circles as casting the Iliad as a war between "barbaric Greeks living in a shitty, lawless camp" vs "civilized, educated, weaving, real-wife-having Trojans," making the Iliad a tragedy in which Homer for some reason skewers his own people and their warlike culture as barbaric while propping up a dead, foreign city-state. This interpretation is still extant and was the postscript to another copy of the Iliad I have.

According to Alexander, scholars closer to Homer's time saw the entire war as a tragedy--both the destruction of Troy AND the destruction of the Greek army. While this is not covered in the Iliad, very few Greeks actually made it home after Troy. Some that did were then outcast (Teucer for example), some were murdered (bye, Agamemnon), some went on to create new kingdoms in other places (Diomedes), but by and large, there was no going home from that war. There was no great victory with all their loot. The entire thing was a disaster for both sides, spurred on by fickle gods.

Back to the more recent European interpretations of this story, one reason Hector ended up cast in such a "good" light, despite being a dumbass who wants to dishonor dead people just as badly as Achilles ever did, was in order to make Achilles look worse. Why was it important that Achilles becomes a villain in this story in which he is very much not a villain? Because Europeans were involved in so much war with each other and the rest of the world that a young, insubordinate man who criticizes his idiot of a commander, decides his life isn't worth throwing away for this war, and refuses to fight to sack a city was an affront to their values. Young men were to be obedient, follow their commanding officers, and colonize the world for queen and country. Achilles suggesting losing his life is not worth it to prop up Agamemnon's war is a dangerous precedent for all the good little soldiers needed to make their nations wealthy.

It's almost funny that these analyses propping up Troy as a beacon of civilization were made by people living in countries so bent on colonizing the world. They identified with the city being sacked and not the greedy sackers of said city, who they were much closer to. And Achilles, educated, morally rigid, emotional Achilles, is recast as a sociopathic asshole who doesn't care about anyone other than himself, unlike all of those other beacons of selflessness among the Greek leadership.

The tragedy of the Iliad is that Achilles is right, the war is pointless, Agamemnon did dishonor the shit out of him, and it doesn't matter because he's going to die in it anyway.

Frankly, given how badly his character has been interpreted for so long, I think the muses owe him an apology.

#the iliad #achilles #I have only read the preface of this book #hope yall like essays #writing essays at 6am and hoping they are grammatical #haven't even had my coffee yet my head is too full of achilles #also a hefty chunk of it was FRENCH propaganda like come ON

[sepublic]

Expanding on my Irish Clawthorne reading; That just adds to the whole story and the colonialism aspect and how the Wittebanes are of British descent, and the British colonized the Irish while declaring them 'savages' and the like, sound familiar?

Big orange hair is such a thing for the family; Eda's hair can store objects in it, Lilith's was curly. And I dunno just; It's not just the angle of white folk colonizing America, it's also the Irish and we have Caleb learning to love Evelyn, whom people like to portray with orange hair. The consensus is that Dell, a ginger, is their direct descendant.

So there's also something to be said about Lilith as someone who was made to assimilate; In the Emperor's Coven, she was deliberately cut off from her family. She was 'taken in' by an older relative ashamed of his brother's fraternizing, who resented Lilith on multiple levels for her identity and for eventually scarring his face (in retaliation to manipulation and attempted murder).

Lilith was so blatantly abused in the Emperor's Coven, and there's a sick joke in how she wanted to be a historian, yet was made subordinate to Flora, who bastardized history on Belos' order, and also belittled Lilith. Lilith was constantly made to feel inferior and with how she was always more of a desk job than a field agent, unlike the coven heads, and it really feels like she was elected as a stunt, a prop to show off with; Look, see! Even a common wild witch like Lilith can rise to the top!

But Lilith still had to assimilate, she had to conform; People like her can still fit under the coven banner, so long as they fit the mold and cut away those 'ugly' bits. So she straightens and dyes her hair a dark blue, cuts it down. Lilith hides herself, even her own Palisman is forced to constantly stay in staff form; A reminder that nature can only be allowed to exist as a tool, nothing else!!! And that's also dark because the Clawthornes are palismen carvers.

So yeah, we have Lilith trying to engage with her past and heritage, yet being deliberately blinded from it, made to participate in her own ignorance and erasure. Forced to hide physical aspects of herself to blend in, mistreated as more of a prop to show how any wild witch can be 'tamed', to prove a point to Belos himself. His own sick victory against Evelyn; A trophy seized from the locals, separated from her family and trying to pull them in with her because that's the best Lilith can have, even as she belittles them and thinks she was improved herself.

Lilith obviously has personal agency and thus blame regarding the curse, and the finale's themes do assert that, as does Lilith’s effort to atone; But it was Belos' coven system that helped pit Lilith against her fellow witches and even family members, and estrange herself from them. Lilith WAS legitimately interested in magic, too... But because of the system, she cursed Eda.

And Lilith didn't use any old curse, she used one created by the Archivists, who came from another world to 'tame', that itself had reduced another wild, native creature to just a prop. That curse was used to dehumanize and delegitimize Eda's stance against the system. It reduced her connection to her bile magic, something also important to witches and Clawthornes, and especially Eda who loved and was great at it; And to mitigate the curse and take responsibility, Lilith also lost her bile magic.

But at the same time, she and Eda re-established contact with glyphs, thanks to Luz; And Lilith made the breakthrough of rediscovering glyph combos! So there's an ancient practice, older than even the Deadwardian Era she obsessed over, that Lilith found and brought back, for a time at least; But that will still apply once King's glyphs so in full-swing. And Lilith even got to visit the Deadwardian Era, scar her abuser after he scarred her and so many others, and come to a better understanding about her own ancestral past, something that continues with Lilith’s self-actualization as the historian she always wanted to be; So now she’s helping everyone better understand their past and origins!

Lilith and the Clawthornes as a whole are still cut off from knowing about Evelyn and Caleb, and they may never know; But at least they got back Hunter, whom Lilith was also pitted against in the Emperor's Coven, which really divided Caleb and Evelyn's descendants. And what tops it all off is Lilith having parallels to Philip, what with the Wittebanes and Clawthorne sisters; One more open-minded and outdoorsy, going against society, while the other is bookish and bitterly insecure and absorbs prejudice to feel better about themselves. Even their names are structured similarly!

They both wear blue coats and hurt a sibling they cared for but also resented... But Lilith grew beyond all that. She went above the hatred and jealousy. The system was more prevalent in her life, yet Lilith still chose to go against it, taking the chance to stop when it came and work for real happiness. She stopped needing to put down others to feel better about herself, Lilith made a friend with someone as strange as Hooty, who was once connected to the Titan and also forgot his past, but is now connected to Dell's old tower; Abandoned but given new life by Lilith's sister Eda. So the past is still lost to some extent and unrecognizable even, but it still lives on anyway.

Anyhow, Irish Lilith Clawthorne who is a victim of assimilation by British colonialism and that tried to erase her Irish features and make Lilith conform by cutting her off from her heritage and feeding her a bastardized, demonized version of her own past, while turning against her own people and culture and thinking herself superior for climbing up the ladder she left others at the base of; A promised justification of imperialism. But then Lilith breaks free from all of it and reconnects and re-embraces everything she lost, including her family and heritage, and just gets to be weird with other weirdoes like herself, so there's both blood and the covenant (not THAT type of coven tho).

#the owl house #Lilith Clawthorne #character analysis #meta #colonialism

[seafoamreadings]

week of july 30th, 2023

aries: this week is a good time to control any excessive spending. even if it's not normally an issue for you, things are more likely than usual to arise this week which are either unexpectedly expensive or simply very tempting.

taurus: a full moon occurs this week which is likely at odds or in tension with some of your natal points. the bright side is that it lights up your career and home axis; your legacy, your descendants (even if they are not genetic ones) and your ancestors are all present to support you.

gemini: the mercurial vibes are not very earthy and the air vibes are not very mercurial BUT both are present and they do sort of combine to create an overall gemini-esque tone, which has you energized although the people around you may begin to feel that you are overwhelming them with information. if you start to get irritated vibes, just write things down for later.

cancerians: use this week's full aquarius moon as an opportunity to enhance intimate (and?)/or occult pursuits. if you dabble in the taboo those things may be revealed more publicly at this time, so be careful that your actions are all in line with your truest and highest integrity.

leo: consider your partnerships carefully under the light of this full moon. if you are in one currently, what do you love about it? what do you not? what can you change or do you want to keep? single leos can meet someone new or re-evaluate their past history to update their present trajectories as desired.

virgo: this is your last week before mercury enters the shadow of its retrograde... actually it starts this week. in your sign, yes. uninterrupted mercury in virgo through to october. so get your affairs in order now! fortunately, some mars/jupiter/mercury/saturn action all this week provides a productive and powerful boost, if you are willing to be just a little disciplined about it.

libra: your 5th house is lit up by a full moon this week so prepare to have a good time. pouty librans insistent on not enjoying it can at least channel their pouting feelings into good art or, if art is not really your thing, a nice karaoke session or inspired clothes-shopping. but at least try to experience some pleasure, it'll be good for your soul!

scorpio: a plutonic square to the nodes has your rituals under tension. what is really important to you? what is a mundane boring routine? can you sparkle up the things you think are dull? can you find the soul in the inanimate? if you can lucid dream on purpose, take a hero's journey to the underworld. if you cannot, write about what you think (or wish) you would find there.

sagittarius: some jupiter stuff really occurs this week. it is less lucky than normal. but you and jove are never exactly UNlucky, so don't worry too much; whatever happens is for the most part for you, not TO you, don't let yourself fall into any victim mentality.

capricorn: it's actually a sort of dark time for capricorn folks BUT the great news is your money and resources are truly blessed in this period, and you can spin straw into gold if that's what you're really faced with. you may have to ask for help, which is not your strongest suit, but there are worse fates, you know?

aquarius: the full moon in your sign always highlights relationships because the sun is then necessarily in its domicile in your 7th house and leo. and that is a very powerful sun, so your partnerships or other close ties may feel either very golden and enlightening or else very oppressive and suffocating, and it's unlikely to fall somewhere between. if you need out, get out. if you like the warm rays, bask in them like a lizard.

pisces: mercury begins to prepare for another retrograde, this time staying entrenched in your opposite sign until october. the shadow begins in just a few days' time. hard conversations, if they are needed, will fare better now than down the line.

#horoscopes #weekly horoscopes #horoscope #weekly horoscope #astrology #signs #zodiac #aries #taurus #gemini #cancer #leo #virgo #libra #scorpio #sagittarius #capricorn #aquarius #pisces

[bargainbincheese]

Just some unorganized thoughts about Heddle, my protagonist.

Her story is a cool wizards power fantasy story with a girl protagonist. So like, on one hand I actually think it's fine if she's a little bit of a Mary Sue or her only flaw is arrogance or something like that because the heroes she's descended from (in a literary sense) are wizards like Kvoth and Ged. On the other hand I don't really feel like she would be arrogant. Like I almost think her struggle should be the opposite. She should begin the story assuming that everyone else knows better than her, she's never in the right about anything, and her own opinions aren't worth having. Her story is about learning the truth: that she is smart and just as capable of stuff as anything else. In fact, more capable because she becomes like the most powerful wizard ever.

The point of the story in my head doesn't center around character, and I'm trying to shift that. The story is made to be a straight up normal cool wizards power fantasy that kids can get into. It's a story that's been written many times. But in order for me to stick with a project it has to have characters in it who I enjoy spending time with. It's also just important for me to know who my characters are before I can write them.

So with that in mind, who the hell is Heddle? Importantly she is a girl. She has trouble fitting in and always feels like she's missing something that everyone else understands. Her strength is also her weakness: she thinks everyone is better than her in some way, so she doesn't believe she is above anyone. She genuinely loves people and effortlessly shows empathy and goodwill that is obvious to everyone around her.

At her best, she can be loving and supportive with anyone, even those who don't get that treatment from anyone else. This allows her to see problems in her society that aren't immediately obvious to others.

At her worst...... idk. I'm having trouble conceptualizing this. I know that she has incredibly high standards for herself and judges herself harshly for making mistakes. Maybe that makes her a bit hard to be around sometimes? I think in her village she was taught this mode of thinking somewhat intentionally because culturally they have a very strong concept of Ideal Woman. From the point of view of the adults around her the indoctrination is going great up until the moment she runs away. Once she leaves that environment she kinda brings those ideas with her and maybe even tries to enforce Ideal Womanhood onto her friends. That probably causes some problems.

So yea. That's about where I'm at.

#wizards #original character #storytelling #writing #character design #www

[donnerpartyofone]

Despite the internet's reputation as a boiling cauldron of bad feelings that foment into bad behaviors even in the most ordinary people, it's surprising how little of that I've experienced directly. Maybe it's because I don't spend a lot of time on Twitter or Facebook where things seem extra bad, I don't know, but the number of times I've encountered what I'd call a genuine troll are very few and far between. The small number of people I've had friction with here were, in descending order of volume:

1. People who actually mean well and want to socialize, they just can't balance their anxiety and need for attention well enough to really get along with people in the long term. They're like lonely kids who break something so a busy parent will notice them. I usually give these people a chance until they get cross a line, which they can't seem to help doing, but they never seem totally happy about it. Oh well.

2. People who are obviously nuts, if you'll parson my glibness. Oustanding examples include the guy who I thought was joking about asking me to be in fetish porn involving wedgies, until I realized he was serious because he became rude about it; some far-right kook who sent me a lot of fragmented scraps of "news" about the dangers of immigration in Scandinavia; somebody who tried to make me help him stalk my friend, who then stalked me for a while. Dealing with people like this sucks, but it's hard to get fully angry at someone who is totally disconnected from reality.

3. Finally, actual trolls. I mean a REAL troll should be a brilliant prankster who can wind you up in an imaginative way, but there aren't many of those in the world so for convenience's sake we'll include people with no sense of humor who are just rude to strangers on purpose for no reason. I've encountered way fewer of these guys in the last 10+ years here than I'd ever have imagined. None of them stand out in my memory, they're not interesting. It's always the same: Some dude I've never heard of finds a post of mine and adds a shitty comment that has no real substance to it, it kind of just amounts to "I don't like your blog." And there's really no way to look dumber than admitting that you follow and interact with people you don't like; this abuse doesn't work the way the troll thinks it does, I'm never personally offended--how could I be, who cares how these people feel? I usually just have a moment of confusion about why people who think they're so superior only do things that they say are beneath them--I mean, if you're so much better than everybody else, don't you have something important to do?--but I know in reality they're just people who have no power in their own lives. They're like customers who abuse cashiers and waiters because it's the only time they feel like they have power over anything. It's annoying, but it's also really pathetic and hard to take seriously. Blocking them is like a little gift you donate to the poor, because it makes them feel like they "owned" you and have "won" something, though what prize that is is known only to them. Whatever, they can have it.

For the most part though, people on tumblr have been surprisingly nice to me. I've made a lot of great friends, and even the strangers who just stop by now and again are usually kind or, at the very least, polite. Maybe I just don't post a lot of the hot button stuff that attracts friction, like politics or nudes, but if I had only my own experience to go on, I'd say the internet is a much nicer place than people would have you think it is.

[nangbaby]

Yes, this another rant about Chloe and the leaks and spoilers. If you don't want to see this, bow out now.

Obligatory spoiler buffer gif for those on mobile and those who mis-clicked. Final warning.

Anyway, I am still shocked at how horribly the writers dropped the ball for the last couple of seasons with Chloe, Lila, and several others these last two seasons.

I am not a "Chloe stan" and I firmly believe she is a brat who never deserved a Miraculous. Ladybug in the Season 3 finale was 100% right to take the Bee Miraculous away from her. While I was expecting an eventual redemption, I would have no problem if Chloe had naturally descended into being a full-fledged antagonist.

That said, the writers instead fundamentally changed Chloe's character in order to make her to be a straw antagonist instead of working from a natural character evolution. They glued an idiot ball into her hands, flattened her to the point where she considered herself evil and nasty, then gave her a last-minute alliance with Lila to make up for lost time.

If the end goals were to get Chloe out of town, Chloe and Lila exposed, and put Lila in a position where she held all the cards, there was a better way of doing it then the way the writers chose.

Let's go back to the end of Season 3, where Chloe is stripped of the Bee Miraculous, her parents have recommitted themselves to each other, and she can't even escape from Paris to hide from what she did. If Chloe feels no remorse for allying with Hawk Moth, there's no reason from an in-character standpoint why Chloe doesn't expose the other superheroes. Blasting their identities is the only thing she can do and since she can no longer be Queen Bee, she would be naturally vindictive enough to ruin being a superhero for everyone else, even if it meant exposing herself as a willing minion of Hawk Moth. In her mind, she would have nothing to lose.

The obvious reason why Chloe doesn't reveal everyone's identities is purely because Rena Rouge and the other heroes need to be active so they can be called upon in the future. Between merchandising and plot, Chloe isn't allowed to pull the plug on superheroes' careers. So, why not prevent her from doing so? Have her try to expose the heroes...only to be stopped by Lila at the beginning of the Season 4.

Having the Lila/Chloe alliance begin earlier does a few important things for the plot. It provides a reason for Chloe to not only get worse (as well as widen the rift between her and Sabrina), but also get worse in a more relevant direction. It would also further establish Lila being Gabriel's ears and could amp up the tension. With Lila in possession of the other superhero identities, this makes her a completely hidden threat, one neither Ladybug nor even Shadow Moth/Monarch could fully account for. Lila could clearly be playing a long game and influencing Chloe to do the same. Chloe inevitably would progress to more evil acts as the series goes on, but it would be result of convergent character evolution with Lila, not her being passively stupid and getting a personality reset. This would also spread out Lila's influence over two seasons instead of making her nearly-invisible for Season 4.

As a result, if Chloe is separated from Lila and no longer in Paris as in her final fate, this brings a slight bit of hope for her to change off-screen. She might still be cruelly obsessed as she is now, but the idea of being away from the influence of a bad friend (Lila) might make her re-evaluate her actions.

But, speaking of Chloe's exit, the other characters surrounding it are also in awful places. Andre Bourgeois abandons Chloe to her mother (who also goes away) and takes in Zoe. This messy conclusion is because Zoe can't be in Paris without some parental supervision, although this is a problem of making Zoe a half-sister and not a cousin (which would mean she'd have an off-screen aunt and uncle who she could stay with, as well as new characters who could take over the hotel in the case Andre left town). However, again, this is completely at odds with the end of Season 3, where Andre and Audrey had reconnected. It was heavily implied they would be co-parenting with a lot more unity, but Season 4 had Audrey regress into walking over her husband again to re-establish her as a "bad parent." How much more drama could have been milked if both Andre and Audrey genuinely tried to turn over a new leaf in terms of setting limits and being better role models for Chloe...only for her to slip away because their efforts came too late.

Again, since Zoe has been made into a half-sister and she has to stay in Paris due to being Vesperia, why not instead give her a reason to stay in town independently of her family -- especially since she never felt like she would fit in with them anyway? As Zoe is an aspiring actress and Lila is a model and the face of the Gabriel brand, the two could have crossed paths and even had a one-episode rivalry over a role. Thus, there might be a path to sponsorship for Zoe to stay in Paris...but even with a bona fide reason as her career takes off, she'd still be a minor so she can't "live" by herself. Since they wrote out Luka anyway, have Anarka take her in if Zoe just needs a place to stay (Zoe's at that houseboat half the time and this saves resources.). This way, Andre and Audrey, in the spirit of being parents would both leave with Chloe at the end of Season 5, and while Zoe would want to go with her family, too, she'd have an excuse to be part of the Paris crew. Yes, it would still be contrived, but it would be done in a way to give some hope and closure for Chloe instead of "punishing" her, while allowing Zoe to craft her own identity.

Zoe remaining behind in Paris without any biological or extended family would also make her a much clear foil for Lila. Whereas Zoe comes out of nowhere, has family issues, but then finds new family through her friends and makes her own role through genuine friendship, Lila comes out of nowhere, makes her own family issues, and makes her own role through scheming. One would still end up at roughly the same place as the scripts, but this would be done through character development and not plot-based writing that shoehorns everyone into awful roles that don't fit.

#ml leaks #ml spoilers #ml salt #mlb spoilers #mlbspoilers #miraculous salt #miraculous ladybug spoilers #miraculous spoilers #miraculous ladybug

[bluerose5]

The Nightmare Part 4 (END)

Last part! Will probably post the full piece on AO3 later.

Previous parts will be linked in the reblogs. 💙

~~~

Anders settles into a chair while he watches Garrett make his way around the room, gathering ingredients here and there.

Neither of them speaks at first.

Exhausted, Anders drops his head into his hands. He tries to comprehend everything that happened, struggling most to come to terms with one important fact.

Garrett used blood magic.

Garrett used blood magic on him.

As if he said it aloud, Garrett rushes to assure him, "No demons were involved." When Anders glances up, Garrett nervously meets his eyes. "I can practically hear you thinking from over here. I swear to you both, I didn't consort with any demons."

Anders believes him, but that still begs the question.

"How long have you been doing this?" Anders waves vaguely in his direction, as if that explains it at all. "The blood magic, I mean."

"Not long," Garrett sighs. Working his way through the kitchen, he quickly whips up a mixture of lavender and elfroot. "Ever since we encountered Corypheus."

Anders raises a brow at him.

"So, what? You used a little blood to free him from his prison in order to defeat him, and that was the tipping point for you?"

Garrett huffs at him and shakes his head.

With mortar and pestle in hand, he adds some extra ingredients, grinding them down into little more than dust.

"I knew you wouldn't understand."

"Then help me understand!" When Garrett refuses to look at him, Anders sighs, then lowers his voice. "Garrett, please."

After a moment, he answers.

"No, the 'tipping point' wasn't when I freed Corypheus. It was when I learned that my father used blood magic when it was convenient to him," Garrett explains, "but he knowingly spent my entire youth outright discouraging my fascination with any practical form of the art."

"What do you mean by that?" Anders asks.

Garrett takes a second to finish preparing the incense, silent, contemplative.

"You know that I descend from one of the Alamarri tribes." Anders nods, and Garrett continues. "My father taught us their ways, growing up. A lot of their stories, history, and knowledge are passed on by word of mouth, but some things are recorded in writing. Magic, being one of them."

Anders can see where this is going.

"Even before I came into my magic, I read through the writings that were passed on to Father. I was fascinated. A lot of the spells that harnessed the power of blood were useful, everyday tools that they used. Magic to help crops grow, to form protective wards, to soothe the mind…"

"Like the spell you used on me," Anders whispers.

Garrett rushes to assure him, "Know that I would never have risked your safety on a whim. I wouldn't have cast the spell, were I not confident in my ability to use it." His shoulders slump, head pounding. "I'm familiar with the spell. I've had to use it a few times on myself, since things have gotten… tense in the city lately."

Anders doesn't know if he feels better or worse, knowing that.

He watches as Garrett lights the incense aflame, guiding the fire into being before calming it down to a slow, smoldering burn.

Before long, the room is filled with its thick aroma.

Lavender and elfroot mingle in the air.

Tension seeps from his muscles.

Taking a deep breath, Anders lets the mixture do its job.

"Does anyone else know?" he mumbles.

"Merrill, I think," Garrett says. "Varric knows, even though he would rather act like he doesn't. Isabela’s too much of a snoop not to know. Sebastian hasn't called me a maleficar yet, but it's only a matter of time, I guess. Same with Aveline. I'm certain Fenris has an idea, but it's just one of those things we don't bring up."

He shrugs, carefully keeping his distance, even as his heart aches to do otherwise.

Anders purses his lips as he considers that, but Justice is quick to remind him of another who once challenged their perspective on blood magic. A certain Commander of theirs who wielded it, not by working with demons, but by using Avernus' research to harness the taint in their blood to strike down evil.

Still, it hurts, knowing that Garrett didn't bring this up before now.

But he can hardly turn him away. Not now, not after all they have been through together.

"Come here," Anders beckons, and that's all that Garrett needs to hear before he launches himself across the room and into his waiting arms. Both of them cling to each other, their arms a safe haven in their chaotic, little world. "Love, why didn't you tell me?"

Garrett snorts, his laugh bordering on hysterical.

Unshed tears prick at the corners of his eyes.

"Is it so surprising that I kept it secret with how you treat Merrill?" he asks. Which, even Anders has to admit, is a fair point. He winces, but listens regardless. "I just— I don't know. I didn't want you to look at me any differently because of this."

His voice softens, small and uncertain.

"I wanted you to feel safe with me."

Ironic, considering that Anders still fully believes that —even with the blood magic taken into consideration— he still poses a greater threat to their combined safety than Garrett does.

That's a conversation for another day, though.

Right now, Garrett is his first priority.

He pulls away to cup Garrett’s cheeks, brushing dark curls behind pointed ears.

"You always make me feel safe," he whispers, pecking him sweetly on the lips. "Protected. But I need you to promise me you'll be safe. I need you to be careful, now more than ever."

"You know I will be."

"Promise me then."

Garrett furrows his brow, caught off guard by the intensity with which he spoke.

He searches amber eyes for answers, only to find a frantic sort of desperation where usually there was none.

"I promise," he tells him. "I don't use those spells regularly anyways. I won't risk weakening my connection to the Fade, but Anders?"

He cocks his head to the side, lips pursed.

"Did something happen to make you panic earlier, or did it happen randomly?"

Anders' mouth turns bone dry.

His heart threatens to kick into action again, but Anders focuses on his breathing, allowing the fragrant smoke around the room to draw his mind into a calming haze.

"I—" He swallows past the lump in his throat. The words are forced out, bit by bit. "I had a dream —a nightmare." His next breath shudders through his chest. "That you were made Tranquil."

Understanding hits Garrett like a punch to the gut, leaving him breathless, winded.

"Oh." At a loss for what to say, Garrett eventually manages. "I'm sorry. That you had to go through that alone, I mean."

Anders sighs. "It's not your fault."

"Even then…" Trailing off, he leans his forehead against Anders', staring deep into his eyes. "How about this?" He steals a brief, albeit passionate kiss, one that leaves them both breathless in the aftermath. "I promise— I swear to you, before any and all gods that will listen, that I won't be made Tranquil. No matter what, you will never have to go through that pain and heartache again."

Anders shakes his head in immediate protest.

"You can't promise me that." Even if it is such a bittersweet hope to embrace.

That doesn't change the reality that all mages are at risk, so long as the Templars and the Chantry have their way.

"Well, I just did promise exactly that," Garrett counters, "and I meant every word of it. Not even the Maker himself could make me break an oath to you." His touch gentles. His voice flows like a warm breeze. "Okay?"

Foolish as he is, Anders allows himself to believe him.

Eventually, he nods and whispers, "Okay."

#dragon age #dragon age 2 #da2 #anders #garrett hawke #handers #justhanders #bluerose rambles #bluerose writes

[rappaccini]

so. i hate the Hero Gets The Girl relationship trope.

i hate when the girl's purpose in the narrative is to be The (Male, usually, but also female) Hero's Girlfriend, even when they barely spend any time together, or their development is leading them down a different path or towards different romantic interests, only for the rug to be ripped out from under one or both of them (and almost always the girl) in order to force them back into that coupling.

(off the top of my head: kataang, allurance, what the people who are angriest about finn not being The Jedi of the star wars sequels seem to insist that finnrey should have been, mk/tilda, even gwen/miles to an extent. any time i see this trope rear its head i start to recoil.)

into the badlands, i think, was the best acknowledgment and resolution of a Hero's Girlfriend outgrowing The Hero and moving on with someone else, and The Hero accepting it that i've ever seen.

and honestly? i think fiction as a whole needs more stories like it-- about men/boys specifically, whose female crushes either don't reciprocate their feelings, or who develop better relationships with someone else, in which the male character gets to be sad that the relationship they're hoping for won't happen... and then gets to accept it and move on without complaining about the friendzone, turning into a nice guy, descending into 'if i can't have you no one can' villainy or completely abandoning his friendship with the female character in favor of a love interest who does accept his advances.

i love a good iichynoc story, and i love that fiction these days is finally acknowledging that platonic male-female friendships between people of compatible sexual orientations can be extremely powerful and rewarding without being the prelude to a romance, that niceguying sucks and that if she doesn't wanna be with you, she shouldn't have to...

... but i also think not enough is being done to explore that experience with empathy for both parties.

most of the time, when crushes crash or relationships fizzle out, no one's the bad guy. i want to see more girls who strike out on their male crushes and aren't painted as pathetic, desperate or incapable of self-respect. likewise with guys striking out on their female crushes who aren't framed as predatory, slimy or sniveling.

and most of the time, you don't get over the rejection instantly. there's a period of awkwardness or discomfort that must be overcome if the friendship is to be kept. you have to renegotiate some boundaries. you might get jealous if the person you have feelings for gets with someone else, and or even guilty for starting to take an interest in someone else before you're over said person. can we see more of that too?

in particular i think this kind of story would do the most good in fiction aimed at younger men/teen and preteen boys, who are going to experience these situations the most and will have the hardest time dealing with it, given how nearly all the messages they receive about these situations are negative. again, i do think that it's important for them to see that they can have friendships with girls and women, and that if they keep pursuing her when she isn't interested, they're the one in the wrong. but it's also important for them to know it's okay to feel sad or upset about being rejected for a while, and that there's a way to experience those emotions and work through them that isn't pathetic or predatory.

#thoughts

[jessicafurseth]

Reading List, In a Flash edition.

The Laughing Heart [Charles Bukowski, 1993] Your life is your life Don’t let it be clubbed into dank submission. Be on the watch. There are ways out. There is a light somewhere. It may not be much light but it beats the darkness. Be on the watch. The gods will offer you chances. Know them. Take them. You can’t beat death but you can beat death in life, sometimes. And the more often you learn to do it, the more light there will be. Your life is your life. Know it while you have it. You are marvelous. The gods wait to delight In you.

[Image: Lucas Allen]

*

"Some of the ways friendship changes in this life stage is just “being in your 30s.” Friends are already disappearing from dinner parties and birthdays and day trips and concerts and “God, I’ve had a shit week. Can we just sit on your couch and eat takeout?’’ evenings. There are so many big events besides having children that make you less available to friends: serious relationships, career changes, getting sober, moving cities, caring for aging parents, finances. We talk through those moments because we’re aware enough of how important friendships are and how hard they are to keep. You literally live longer the more adult friends you have, and if you believe the surgeon general, we’re all one invitation away from being part of the “loneliness epidemic.” Parenthood (specifically motherhood) is a known contributor to feeling isolated, but though we tell friends, “You work too hard,” or even, “Your new girlfriend is a drag,” we never point our fingers at the baby and say, “That thing is tearing us all apart." Can Parents and Childless People Be Friends? [Allison P Davies, The Cut]

"We have brothers, sons, lovers – but they can’t live here!" The 26 older women living in a cohousing community in Chipping Barnet [Anita Chaudhuri, The Guardian]

The Case for Love-Life Balance [Faith Hill, The Atlantic]

‘Oddly satisfying’: what’s behind our drive to collect useless items? [Amelia Tait, The Guardian]

Celebrities are now “honest” about diet, exercise and beauty. I wish they weren’t [Amelia Tait, The New Statesman]

"The internet as we know it is a glorious, awful, intricate, sprawling series of networks that needs our information in order to function. We cannot go back to a time before this was true—before turn-by-turn directions and eerily well-targeted ads, before we carried little data-collection machines in our pockets all day—and nor would all of us want to. But we can demand much more from the reckless stewards of our information." What Digital Privacy Is Worth [Charlie Warzel, The Atlantic]

"There are so many fun things to do on the internet. You can watch that History of Japan video for the zillionth time. You can have a glass of wine and reply enthusiastically to the Instagram Stories of everyone you know. Anything, truly anything, is a better use of your time than getting upset that a stranger somewhere disagrees with you." Social media is making you angry. You simply have to ignore it. [Rebecca Jennings, Vox]

You don't have to post about your moral outrage [Elizabeth Spiers, The New Yorker]

Citizenship Restored - a fascinating story about gaining German citizenship as a descendant of Jewish refugees [Daniel Trilling, the London Review of Books]

"This pandemic skip — the strange sensation that our bodies might be a step out of sync with our minds — happened to people of all ages. We’ve heard of those freshmen in high school, who, never having attended middle school, went back to their classrooms punching each other like 12-year-olds. A friend skipped from 57 to 60 and, when she started dressing up to leave the house again, realized she felt distinctly out of sorts in her clothes — her dresses felt suddenly too short or too colorful. (At 57, she said, patterns felt ironic. At 60, they didn’t.) My skip, I realized, had carried me swiftly through what would have been my last couple years of socially permissible carelessness. And what I’d dropped into didn’t especially appeal, particularly after having been trapped in the house cats-in-a-bag style for three years: real adulthood with all its attendant concerns." The Pandemic Skip [Katy Schneider. New York Magazine]

“I was on my own so much, just with my thoughts. The way I describe it is like weeding your garden. You don’t realise it, but your head is full of these weeds and when you’re walking, you’re on your knees pulling weeds. After about a year and a half, when I was down in south Peru, I felt like I’d thought all the thoughts, and the garden was clean. There was no more angst, no regrets, nothing I could pick through. I was in the Atacama desert, lying under a million stars, and it felt I was at the bottom of myself. All the doubts went. It was a hollowed-out feeling. A simple sense of existing – you’re just a small little creature in the universe. It was just peace.” Tom Turcich on his seven-year walk around the world [Simon Hattenstone, The Guardian]

A Guide to Lana Del Rey’s Literary References [Sophie Lou Wilson. AnOther Magazine]

"A completely correct theory, in which one of our greatest movie stars reveals humanity’s changing relationship to modernity." Sandra Bullock and the Rise of Tech [Jim Windolf, The New  York Times]

"When people say they’re able to strictly abide a certain diet under any circumstances, I feel both a bit jealous and also incredulous: what are you missing? Not just food-wise, but conversation-wise. I find it important that I’m always coming into friction in the world about being a bivalve-eating vegetarian: how else would I know how unfriendly the world is to a plant-based diet? How else would I be told stories of the vegans who eat cheese only in Spain or the vegetarians who make accommodations for certain seafood? I want to know these stories, and I want to know everyone’s food story." On the ‘Grandma Rule’ [Alicia Kennedy]

Historic England is creating  an online map of ghost signs [Steven Morris, The Guardian]

#reading list

[birlwrites]

AFJSBSJSH okay so you probably know what brought this question to my mind but: remember that post you made about how if atfhv was a much darker series, regulus would get betrayed by either evan or barty?

Tell us about how that would've happened with each of them!! What would their thought processes be? What would they do to complete their goal(s)? How would they have tricked regulus? What would regulus feel, and what would he do in response to all of it? Would they have succeeded or would he still manage to win the war? How would he cope? Etc etc

I feel so evil

AFJSLGHSJHJLSH YEAH

i don't feel like hunting down that post atm since i think it was a while ago and i don't trust the tumblr search function, but for those of you who didn't see it, the general gist is exactly that: if atfhv were a darker series, either evan or barty would stab regulus in the back. (i think that in either case, it wouldn't happen for a few years - like, post-hogwarts)

with barty, i think it would run back to what he says in the very first chapter of ttdl: everyone with connections is gathering on one side of the war, and that's the Obsessively Pureblood Side. i think barty as a person is more inclined towards devotion than he is towards building himself up as a leader - if he were to betray regulus, it would be in favor of a different side, not in favor of himself

so barty would be a spy/saboteur for voldemort, with the eventual goal of joining the likes of bellatrix in the top ranks and being positioned really well in the post-war world (given a victory, of course - he'd only do this if he were positive that voldemort was going to defeat regulus)

this would be a very long-term thing, as opposed to one single backstabbing moment, and regulus trusts barty so much that he would get away with it for a LOOOOOOOOOONG time.

the eventual reveal would destroy regulus pretty decisively, tbh, because he's always thought of barty as steadfast - or rather, barty's like the 1 person in the world whose loyalties regulus hasn't doubted, because regulus has never doubted his own personal loyalty to barty and he thinks their friendship is totally reciprocal on that level, because for a really long time, it was.

at that point, things would descend into chaos - in the absence of a clear leader, regulus's side would fall apart (it's not like barty is trying to fold them into the death eaters - regulus's side is packed with vehement blood traitors and muggleborns, it would never work)

so then the war would fall to voldemort vs dumbledore, both of whom would have already been weakened by regulus's side and by war with each other, BUT voldemort would be in the better position - having barty working for him would mean that he wouldn't be hit as hard by reg's side as the order would, so the order would be especially diminished, and the death eaters would almost certainly win

so barty would get what he wanted? yay?

i don't think he'd kill regulus - i think he'd know he wouldn't need to. (and to be clear, i don't think revealing the betrayal was part of the plan - i think he was going to wait on that until regulus's side was really downtrodden, then at the lowest point, make it clear that he jumped ship a while ago)

and i think barty WOULD miss regulus and maybe wish he hadn't started up this whole extra side in the first place, which would have spared them a lot of complications, but he wouldn't regret his actions - barty's not big on that. he might just regret the effect they had on regulus. but again, he gets what he wants out of it, and in this scenario, he's already decided that's more important than his relationship with regulus

honestly i don't feel like this would be a satisfying story arc, because i think that if this happened, regulus would just... peter out. like, he'd be done. it would take forever for him to even pull himself together enough to decide on a strategy for vengeance, IF he was in a position where that was feasible, and i don't think he'd even want it - like, barty betraying regulus destroys regulus because it fundamentally conflicts with regulus's formation of his own identity. being friends with barty is crucial to regulus's idea of regulus, partly because it was barty's influence that pushed regulus towards certain beliefs that he then kind of staked his entire life on

so in regulus's head, if barty isn't reliable, then what was the point of it all, is what i'm saying

okay now on to evan!

evan betraying regulus would be MUCH more explosive than barty betraying regulus, for the simple reason that evan falls into the category of 'i can cope with getting rid of this person if necessary, even if it makes me horribly angsty' for regulus. (sirius is another notable member of this category)

additionally, if evan were to betray regulus, it would be for the sake of his own power, unlike barty, which regulus... understands more? like, as i said, barty is inclined to devotion, so him changing the recipient of said devotion is truly earthshattering for regulus (and a lot of other people! barty's always been very plain about where his loyalties lie so nobody ever thinks to question it). evan wanting the crown for himself? yeah, yeah, we've all thought about it

so evan wouldn't be trying to destroy regulus's side - he'd be trying to take it over.

that involves getting rid of regulus, ideally staging an assassination so evan can turn him into a martyr and rely on barty's incapacitating grief to last long enough that he won't be a competitor for taking charge of the side formerly known as regulus's, and then once barty's gotten into the angry stage, bring him back into the fold under evan's leadership, and voilá, barty is now wholeheartedly working for evan, and so is everyone else who was on regulus's side before, because ✨it's what regulus would have wanted✨

but that's the straightforward, stone-cold route. (and it works regardless of whether regulus and evan are together by Betrayal Time!)

so what if evan is not so stone-cold? what if he has really caught feelings and makes the crucial mistake of keeping regulus alive?

like, incapable of leading, for sure. possibly drugging him hard enough to send him into a coma and keeping him in a nice little chateau somewhere, very very far from the antidote that evan will administer after the war's over. because he cares about regulus and doesn't want him dead - or doesn't think he'd be able to kill him

(and the thing is, with regulus in a coma somewhere, he's trapped and essentially defenseless. so if evan DOES decide to kill him, he can just go do that)

this one requires some more convolution on evan's part to talk himself into it. he'd need a *really good reason* to want to take over from regulus, because like. he is perfectly capable of just influencing regulus behind the scenes to do what evan wants. regulus trusts him

so for evan to take over, but keep regulus alive, i think he'd have to be thinking 'i can do it better.' and he would be so deeply convinced of it that he'd talk himself into believing that regulus would eventually come around and see it that way too, and after a long period of being furious with evan for putting him into a Literal Actual Coma, he'd understand and accept it, or at least get used to it

and, of course, regulus's Mysterious Disappearance would cause a lot more chaos than regulus's Tragic Death (because questions about what happened to him, who's in charge, do they even know if he's alive, do they look for regulus, etc), but evan can't just fake regulus's death because then it'll raise a lot of questions when he shows up again. so perhaps regulus's Tragic Illness? (the difficulty there being that barty would naturally be tearing britain apart looking for a cure, and evan really doesn't need that sort of scrutiny on what, precisely, is wrong with regulus's health)

alright, Mysterious Disappearance it is. in which case evan can use that to mobilize regulus's side to go on the attack against anyone who might have taken him - it's more voldemort's style than dumbledore's, yes, so the death eaters are a fabulous target, BUT voldemort's prone to making displays of his important victims, and that hasn't happened, and the black family tapestry says regulus is still alive, so perhaps the order has taken regulus captive, which makes THEM a fabulous target

i imagine evan wins the war very quickly just from whipping regulus's side into a frenzy and sending them out to kill people until it's over

and then...... it's over?

now, evan can't just go 'oh by the way, i've known where regulus was this whole time, here he is :)', and he can't just wake regulus up and let him fend for himself (he'll be seething far too much and probably try to depose evan and they can't have that), but he doesn't want to leave regulus in the coma forever, and still doesn't want to kill him

which is when evan (digging himself deeper and deeper ajflsghjsf) decides to simply wake regulus up and continue holding him captive until he Understands

now, barty was starting to think the family tapestry was wrong and regulus was just dead. he's been gone for *so long* without a trace, and that is just not like him at all, and if there were any way for him to return, he would have done it, and now the war is over and he's STILL not back

but the war ends and evan starts spending a whole lot of time doing Secret Things in Secret Places (the nice little chateau that regulus is ripping to shreds with his bare hands because evan has his wand and he doesn't feel up to doing wandless magic because that potion has some hellish side effects that he's still working through)

and barty gets Suspicious.

meanwhile, regulus is very sad and very angry and Not Listening To Evan. he feels betrayed. he feels heartbroken. he also feels incredibly stupid for not seeing this coming. and he is PISSED

and regulus is also spiteful and petty and stubborn and he is leveraging all of those character traits to hit evan where it hurts: namely, every time evan tries to talk him around (involving a lot of sympathetic and very. tender? language around how regulus must be in a lot of pain), regulus responds with increasingly nasty vitriol

(i should note that evan is also trying to hit regulus where it hurts - right in the squishy feelings. either regulus will break down in tears to the point of accepting comfort from evan, in which case evan has already won even if regulus doesn't see it yet, or regulus will continue to escalate the vitriol, in which case evan is setting up the world's biggest guilt trip. the former is evan's preferred outcome because it keeps the power in his hands the whole time, but the latter is acceptable, because if evan lets regulus believe that he has really, deeply hurt evan, he's willing to bet regulus won't be able to stand that feeling for long. it'll be a waiting game, and there's a slight risk that evan will put the ball in regulus's court and regulus will simply keep it (not try to reassure evan), but eventually, regulus will feel terrible enough about it to think 'maybe i'm the one being unreasonable here,' and then evan has won again even if regulus doesn't see it yet)

(evan, of course, already knows that regulus is very stubborn in the face of adversity, and by far more likely to break when confronted with gentleness. and he can rationalize this tactic to himself very very easily - he's just trying to comfort regulus, right?)

so regulus and evan are playing a fun game called 'who's going to have a breakdown first' while barty is playing hide and seek except evan doesn't know barty is playing

and i think the outcome really depends on when barty shows up. he's in a race against evan - if evan wins, then regulus sides with him. nothing bad really happens to barty, but like, still a very disturbing thing to have happen, yes? not something to just gloss over the way evan wants them to? many reasons to be concerned about regulus? so it wouldn't end there. and evan would realize that barty knew what had happened, and then they'd be subtly trying to go after each other - subtly because neither of them wants to draw regulus's attention to it

if barty wins, evan loses, basically, because if regulus is down for it, barty *will* kill evan for this. i am not speaking hyperbolically. i am referring to literal actual murder and the nice little chateau is probably not so nice anymore and there will be QUITE a commotion upon regulus's return

(i mean, there would be a commotion anyway - if evan won, he'd still have to figure out some sort of explanation for Wherever The Fuck Regulus Was)

no matter what, barty's loyalties REALLY matter afsjghsldfkjshgj - they're foundational to the story. there's a reason chapter 1 of ttdl is his recruitment

#dark lord wip #should i make an inbox tag #FINISHED MY PROBLEM SET #i'm going to wait until tomorrow to turn it in #because i was working on it late. so i want to make sure i didn't make typos #but IT'S DONEEEE #barty as traitor scenario: sadness. betrayal. #evan as traitor scenario: COMPLETELY UNHINGED

[lunarsilkscreen]

Jesus and the Law

At some point, I'm going to turn into a hippie youth pastor if I keep talking about Jesus, and I should probably stop but here we go.

Evangelicals turn away, this is gonna be an alternate interpretation you're not ready to hear. I'm not quite ready to say either. But no doubt, will regret saying anyway.

Jesus noted something important in his days. He was one who spoke of the invisible guiding hand, the machine that controls humanity, the system of which to rage against.

He was a child of God. And God was not the law.

A child born against the law, however you wish to interpret that. Rape, incest, premarital. The Bible never quite explains, but if we're thinking realistically, he calls God "The god of those Alive, not the god of the dead" the living word, the living God. And he stands law and God side-by-side.

He says that God doesn't care about the laws of man and will do as he pleases. And if not for that creation, Jesus would neither have lived nor died.

If humans were lawful, Jesus wouldn't have existed. And if they listened, Jesus wouldn't have been crucified.

He routinely talks about the things that humans were doing to each other, that society had agreed were shitty things to do, but did them anyway. Broke commandments and laws, and nobody bats an eye.

But you call people out on their transgressions, and everybody loses their mind.

The gist is this: when you give people no choice but to break the law in order to survive. Even if you offer them a livelihood through a system that makes them burnout, or a lack of freedom of thought and desire, or a lack of being able to pursue their dreams.

Then they'll pursue that which gives them that hit of dopamine their body should be giving them for free.

Think about it, you get dopamine from eating, creative thought, sex, solving problems, and exercise in moderation.

What happens when you restrict freedom? Give people too much stress? They resort to other methods in order to get the dopamine they need to get through the stress.

I can't get through the morning without coffee.

So if you take away freedom of expression, of thought, of sex, force them into hard not-moderate exercise, restrict their food intake to protein powder and water.

How do you think they're gonna get that dopamine?

It's not by wanting to keep working that's for sure.

"man cannot live on bread alone."

What kind of people resort to hard drugs? Depressed people, who don't want or can't afford children, who eat a diet of whatever is cheap and sodapop when they're feeling like splurging, who couldn't break free from the grind to do something that was actually meaningful, and was told they'd have to jump from one shitty know nothing boss to another ad-infinium until death.

Sisyphus pushing that rock up the Hill. A perpetual motion machine for others to profit from.

It's right there documented in our historical texts, that which still happens. And people at the highest level of powers have decided "you know who had It right? The ancient Egyptians, whose workers were so tired of their shit, THAT THEY DECIDED to go on strike in the middle of the desert FOR FORTY YEARS."

They went on strike for so long, their descendents still carry the stigma of being lazy to this very day, by people that keep trying to reinvent the slaver wheel.

That cycle repeats, even by people thumping Bibles, that definitely should know better had they thought to open the book.

Jesus was a lazy hippie, leader of the feral hippies, and probably hosted the first burning man festival before it was called burning man. Literally fed a bunch of unemployed lazy good for nothing's when he did that one sermon on a mount.

Jesus proved it was possible to feed a lot of people at once, that it was possible to have wine aplenty after it had all been drank, and was a carpenter, all the way up until he wasn't allowed to be anymore.

[angeltreasure]

Hi. I hope you are having a wonderful day. This isn't really a prayer request, but I'm struggling with self hatred. Everyday I wake up and wish I could be someone else, or start all over again and be completely different. There's so much in my head all the time and I escape it watching TV or sleeping or eating or listening to music. I know God loves me and He can do everything, even what seems impossible, but I always hear this voice telling me I am a failure and useless to God and deserve no more from Him and He's probably tired of me and will give up on me because I am just a lost cause and there's absolutely nothing good coming from my existence. I am not suicidal, but I am just existing and I see no future for me, I don't see myself changing or doing any better in the future. I don't know what to do or how to get out of this. Well, maybe I am asking you to pray for me after all, I really don't know what else to ask for. Thank you for reading this, I hope I didn't burden you. God bless.

O Lord, hear my prayer. In Your faithfulness, give ear to my plea; in Your righteousness, answer me. Do not bring Your servant into judgment, for no one alive is righteous before You.

For the enemy has pursued my soul, crushing my life to the ground, making me dwell in darkness like those long since dead. My spirit grows faint within me; my heart is dismayed inside me.

I remember the days of old; I meditate on all Your works; I consider the work of Your hands. I stretch out my hands to You; my soul thirsts for You like a parched land.

Answer me quickly, O LORD; my spirit fails. Do not hide Your face from me, or I will be like those who descend to the Pit.

Let me hear Your loving devotion in the morning, for I have put my trust in You. Teach me the way I should walk, for to You I lift up my soul.

Deliver me from my enemies, O Lord; I flee to You for refuge. Teach me to do Your will, for You are my God. May Your good Spirit lead me on level ground.

For the sake of Your name, O Lord, revive me. In Your righteousness, bring my soul out of trouble.

- Psalm 143:1-11

.

The voice that is telling you these bad things does not come from God, this voice comes from Satan. Satan will try anything to snatch you away from God and make you abandon God.

If you want to stop hearing the bad voices, change will be required of you. You must be willing to change and place your trust in God.

You can do a number of things to quiet the voices and make them go away. Most importantly, how long has it been since you went to confession? A good confession is worth more than 10,000 exorcisms. Have you been to Mass recently? Come back to church even if you need to travel to a new Catholic one. I also recommend getting some Holy Water. Make the sign of the cross with it each morning and each night before sleeping. Prayer is important too. Make time for prayer at least once every morning or expand if you feel better. Find a prayer card of St. Michael (sometimes the St. Michael prayer is on the back—- which is pretty easy to carry around discreetly). Other things in no particular order that can help: ask a Catholic priest for deliverance prayers, ask a Catholic priest for a house blessing, find a crucifix to hand on your wall and have it blessed by a priest, download the Relevant Radio app, listen to the Divine Mercy Chaplet, pray the Rosary, pray the St. Michael prayer once before falling asleep.

Just as we have graces that come from sacramental objects, we can have bad coming from occult objects. I suggest you do an inventory of your house, your car, whatever it may be to find any occult like object and get rid of it. After you throw those out, have a Catholic priest come to bless your home. Occult influences can even show up in certain things we watch on tv (so stop watching if there is that!) and music (delete those song files).

You are not a failure. You are beloved child of God and He loves you more than mom and dad. God will never get tired of you because He loved the idea of you so much before time began that He created you to exist. Don’t be afraid. Reach your hands up to God. He is love and mercy itself.

I’ll pray for you. 🙏🏻

#asks

[opinated-user]

the thing that bothers me most about lily is that she Admits she doesn't experience anti native discrimination... until she decides that she does

she admits she's white passing, assimilated, and has no visible connections to the tribe. but also if she was murdered it would totally be marked down as "yet another murdered indigenous woman"

like. personally i'm in a somewhat similar position to lily (of native descent (i think of the same distance she is?), interested in the culture, but extremely white and with no current connection to the tribes im descended from other than an academic one) and you would Never catch me having the Audacity to claim that the police would treat my death the way they treat actual registered or non white native peoples. you don't get to acknowledge you're white and then pretend that's somehow entirely irrelevant to how you go through life just because you're of native descent

i think you have articulated perfectly well why i keep bringing up that issue on my blog, anon, and why i think it's important to talk about it as another facet of LO's hypocresy, on top of her casual racism. LO wants to seem like she's being respectful by admitting to have a lot more privileges that other Native people, but she only understands a "native identity" through oppression and racism, so in order to validate that identity she feels the need to claim struggles she admitted two seconds ago doesn't actually have. if she doesn't get to claim those struggles and therefore be more "interesting" than boring white people, she doesn't see the point of identifying that way at all. it's all about her ego, nothing else, nothing more, and whatever she feels is more convenient to her good image at any given point. especially important i think is this difference between you and LO.

interested in the culture

LO doesn't have any genuine interest on the culture. she has interest on the "aesthetics", on some jewelry, on burning sage and decorations but sees nothing of value beyond that point. she sees Cherokee culture as a flee market where she gets to grab whatever appeals to her visually and then put it on herself to fully realize her brownface sexual fantasy. that's not respect, appreciation or love. that's fetishization, clear and simple. if you want to find out about the culture of your ancestors, their history and their costums, then you already did a million times better than LO and you shouldn't compare yourself to her at all.

#lily orchard #lily orchard is brownfacing #lily orchard is racist

[eleilinnrallin]

Guidelines in my faith say not to get tattoos. I’ve been reconsidering some things lately, one of those being the dress and grooming standards, and have been thinking of what tattoos I might get if it became allowed, or if I find it isn’t something I am strongly against.

A broken sword - The sword of Luke the Warrior Redwall was a big part of my childhood. An important symbol in the series is the sword of Martin the Warrior. Forged from the steel of a fallen star on the hilt of the sword of Martin’s father, the blade passes from hand to hand, champion to champion, famous, thought to be magic. Unbreakable.  Before Martin’s sword came Luke’s. A sword passed from father to son, used to protect, until it was broken. A sword Martin was willing to fight to reclaim, and whose remnants he carried around his neck until the blade was reforged.  Martin’s sword was glorious and famed. Luke’s was unknown. But Martin’s sword was built from it. To me, the broken sword is more impactful. It’s an oath kept, as well as a family connection reframed. It shows even the strong break, and can be rebuilt. 

The Lightweaver Symbol My order of Knight Radiant from the Stormlight Archive is Lightweaver. The oaths of the Lightweavers past the first are actually truths that the knight has been hiding from, or similar. Lightweaving itself is about illusions, about stories, about transformation. Truth through illusions is a concept that fascinates me. I often feel a strong connection to masks, costumes, and similar, to exadurate characteristics to show a truth by reframing it. Also, the symbol itself is pretty neat. 

Era 1 Allomancy Tin Symbol Believe it or not, this has almost nothing to do with the symbol and a lot to do with the metal Tin itself and the Allomantic powers it has in Mistborn. Tin enhances the senses. Increases sight, strengthens hearing, boosts touch. To the characters in the Mistborn series, Tin often means spying on people, running through mists in the dark, and watching for danger. To me, Tin is reading under the covers with a flashlight with ears pricked so I can hide my light if a parent comes in. It is straining my eyes to see in the dimness of the hall and wishing I could see just a little better to ensure there aren’t snakes hiding there. It is hugging someone and wanting to feel it more. Tin is my past made into magic. 

Dragons There is almost no reason for this other than that dragons are incredible and fascinating and beautiful. Dragons are sometimes creatures of fire. They are often creatures of air. There isn’t one ‘true’ kind of dragon.  Dragons are one of my fascinations, and one of my most important and developing writing projects is surrounding the descendents of dragons. If I were to get a dragon tattoo, it would be either wings outstretched or curled.  When we were playing a Would You Rather card game, my brothers and I asked our mum what tattoos she would pick for us, and she actually suggested a dragon for me.

Talan Runes In one of my writing projects, the magic system requires runes to be written in ink on the users. This can be tattoos, or it could be more like using a pen to draw on yourself. The runes themselves tend to be things that have significance, and what they do exactly depends on the intentions of the user. I am uncertain what runes I would get. Alzu (freedom or flight), monu (vision), sochu (protection), sonu (voice), and zara (knowledge) are all meanings that I would like. It would also be possible to use a combination.

Other Writing Project Elements Such as wings (not feathered), like the protagonist in my second novel attempt hid, until she learned to fly. The swirls made by the spikes of a magic system in one of my major fantasy projects, in geometric patterns.  Vines twined into a quote from a character, or simply a quote. 

Chances of these being used are debateable. I need to think through the reasoning behind the no-tattoo suggestion and see if it still holds. But these are some ideas of meaningful tattoos I might consider.

#late night rambles from El #also Lyra did I spell eggsadyourate right this time #tattoo ideas #fandom #the sword of Luke the Warrior #the sword of Martin the Warrior #Redwall #cosmere #stormlight archive #knights radiant #lightweaver #tin #allomancy #mistborn #once we were dragons #owwd

[luminashdawnwing]

DWC May 2023 Day 2: Divine / Tragedy

Luminash raked his fingers back through his hair and settled his head into his hands, elbows resting on his desk, parchment strewn over its surface. The translations from Uldaman and Tyr’s laboratory in Thaldraszus had been...enlightening. He had not spoken a word yet to Jaskian, but he was certain she would feel the worry gnawing at his mind.

The Titans’ servitors, the craftsmen who had, in their accounts and in the reckoning of their creations, forged the world from the Black Empire’s chaos, had undoubtedly lied - even if by omission - and manipulated their descendants. They had been, in so many ways, wrong. Was their work, built on a heap of half-truths yet worth preserving?

An interesting thought. He closed his eyes and, with practiced breathing, calmed the echoes of time that clamored for every shred of his attention. What would there be without that great work?

The Black Empire would have run rampant, Azeroth’s own soul darkened by the Void. Every mountain, forest, and clear pool would be only yawning, hungering mouths. Ny’alotha had been a nightmare, and without the Titans, the nightmare would have been never ending.

But what if they had left well enough alone after that? Elemental chaos. A world at eternal war with itself, floods grinding mountains to dust, the wind driving the waters from their course, flame erupting from placid ground. Less horrific perhaps than the Void, but a nightmare all the same. Even Azeroth’s own native children would not have thrived in such a world.

To overthrow the Titans’ ordering of the world would not create anew, it could only destroy. It was up to those defending the Titans’ creations to turn them towards a better path. Luminash pursed his lips in thought. The Primalists were right, in that the Titans were no gods worthy of unthinking veneration. But in the complexities of history, who was? There was a lesson to be learned here, he was certain. He couldn’t help but let out a quiet laugh: even when they failed, he still could find solace in the near-gods failures.

Luminash’s unease lessened at the thought. What had been considered nearly divine could not be allowed to suffer such a tragic end. Were these findings catalogued and published without proper perspective, the damage done to the study of Azeroth’s past and the Arcane would be immense. And what of the Primalist cause? How much would their ranks swell?

Sitting up straight and stretching his back, the magister picked up his pen, dipped it into the well, and scratched on the top of a blank page:

The Truth of the Titans: Reflections on Order

The work ahead could be the most important Luminash had ever committed to paper, the creation of a new perspective in his field. The dread was gone, only the thrill of something new remained.

@daily-writing-challenge (and @kharrisdawndancer for Jaskian mention)

#maydwc2023 #mayday22023 #luminashdawnwing

[claire-starsword]

Bleu [Sacred Dragon] Class: Dragon -> Great Dragon

The flames of a wrathful Dragon God lay waste to evil!

*** A descendant of the Sacred Dragons who protect the treasure of the Ancients known as the "Book of Secrets".

While Sacred Dragons are incredibly powerful, their fertility is extremely low, and Bleu is now the last of them. Encouraged by the children of Rudo, he joins the Shining Force. ***

Many creatures known as "dragons" live in the continent of Rune. The Blue Dragons seen on the enemy's side, the Red Dragons that aren't seen in game but live in the magma underground, the Hydra with its many heads, extremely rare small dragons used as mounts by knights, and so on.

Sacred Dragons are the strongest among those, the ultimate dragons... at least that's how it's supposed to be, but our boy Bleu here isn't all there yet. He still needs more time before he can show his real power.

______

Zylo [Wolfing] Class: Werewolf -> Wolf Baron

The king of beasts dashing through the forest!

*** Ruler of Bustoke, the people of the mountains. He's respected as a forest spirit.

He was prepared to join the Shining Force at Otrant's request. However, due to Runefaust's plotting he went feral, and had to be tossed in his own jail... ***

The Shining Force has a lot of people of noble birth, but none can compare to Zylo. For he is the king of Bustoke.

Politics in Bustoke are a bit complicated. The country's government system is (a rudimentary) parliamentary democracy. Zylo is merely an overseer. As a "forest spirit", his role is to make sure that people aren't taking from the forest any more than what they need.

That is the uniqueness of Bustoke's political system, to manage all of their lifestyle relying on the resources of the forest and mountains (such as lumber, stone, and animals to hunt).

_______

Notes on Bleu:

I feel that Bleu's species, 神竜, would be better translated as "divine dragon" than Dragon God, given the kanji order, but it's a small nitpick so I went with the official translation everyone's familiar with. Nevermind, I’m a dummy that had forgotten the original localization for Bleu’s species was “Sacred Dragon”, and “Dragon God” was a GBA only thing. Sacred Dragon is more accurate so I’ve updated the translation accordingly.

On the other hand, as I've mentioned before, 秘伝の書 was translated as "manual of the ancients" in game, but "Book of Secrets" (from the GBA version) is more accurate.

Part of the reason I care so much about the above is that there is a novel starring Bleu, where supposedly the book is an important part of the plot despite not involving Dark Dragon's seal this time. The novel also might delve deeper the Sacred Dragons' lack of fertility thing, but sadly I have not found scans of it and I lament this daily. Update: all of this is outdated just go read the novel and the notes on it instead.

Notes on Zylo:

My grammar is a little shaky on that last line, sorry. It feels weird to say that it's unique for a country to manage itself according to its resources because that's very normal. But I guess the point is that they never aim for unsustainable growth, as the rest of the text implies.

Once again, him knowing Otrant is a fact in the japanese version.

"I received a letter from Otrant of Manarina requesting I assisted you as I could. To repay for your great help, let me join you in battle."

The GBA version expanded upon that.

#shining force #ressurection of the dark dragon #sf zylo #sf bleu #sf kouryaku no tebiki translations #no i am not buying that novel on ebay not only am i paranoid about this kinda deal but it's also pricy as hell #at least to where i live #the shipping fee is more than half the main thing's price #shining force localization stuff