#this reply was going to be way darker but Cam talked me out of it

[galoogamelady]

Do you think he could kill a man if need be?

#this reply was going to be way darker but Cam talked me out of it #why did I make myself draw his sniper rifle again I hate this fuckin thing #Fallout 3 #OC #Buttons #gif

[thewhitefluffyhat]

Day Three

[This is the fourth part of a collected liveblog/analysis of Nona the Ninth!  See here for the other parts.]

In this section, the pieces start falling into place as more familiar faces finally show up!

Chapter 11

-p134 I’m amused at how Muir predicted just how much the fandom would obsess over the Pool Scene that we wouldn’t mind repeated clumsy re-enactments of it to tear apart for more specific details haha. Gideon and Harrow’s arms were where and where, you say?

On the other hand, the link to a beloved scene almost makes me think this is a feint - that it’s not the scene from GtN, but something else entirely. I can’t imagine what, though. John sealing away Alecto? The water being liquid rather than ice means it can’t be Harrow seeing Alecto for the first time or anything like that.

-p134 lmao Nona specifically saying the feelings in the Pool Scene were not sexy. *raises eyebrow at piles and piles of post-Pool Scene explicit fic*

Although honestly, Nona’s was always my interpretation of that scene - I’ve read a few of those fics, but they’re not really my cup of tea. In canon, there were so many new and conflicting and difficult emotions going on in that scene for both characters that it always feels jarring to transition it to straightforward horniness. I could see it happening later, perhaps. But not then.

-p135 So Muir wasn’t kidding in that interview about Nona wanting to talk about things that make her horny!

Nona finding flowers sexy is yet another one of those things that makes zero sense as Gideon or Harrow, but all the sense if you assume she’s Alecto/Earth. From a planet’s perspective, the shampoo ad is just another giant picture of sex organs, after all! Why wouldn’t it be extremely sexy?

[Later me: Given that Nona is indeed Alecto/Earth, I hope someone somewhere writes a fic of Nona getting off to like… watching bees pollinate flowers or other utterly nonhuman reproductive methods. Nature and sex are weird! Run with it! XD]

-p135 If Nona does end up being Gideon or Harrow, I imagine the fandom is going to spend a lot of time analyzing this scene of Nona insisting she has a deep need to know what Pal finds sexy.

After all, we did know Gideon was jealous of Pal/Harrow… plenty of ways to take that.

-p138 Oh. Hot Sauce has burns. Hot Sauce has burns and goes to the cages. She can’t be a necro because Herald madness, but hm. Hmhm. She has something to do with them.

Also, on the subject of the cages - my take on the implications here is that Pyrrha went to the cages not to rescue the people, but for info gathering and possibly to shoot them to give them quick deaths.

-p139 And now we’ve got a conversation about Pyrrha’s type. Which we kind of already knew from Wake’s notes! Woman likes to live dangerously, apparently.

-p139 I continue to enjoy how this series describes very pale white skin tones. (See also: descriptions of Ianthe and Cytherea.) I have that skin tone myself, and I hate how it’s usually romanticized and seen as the pinnacle of beauty. In reality, it is seriously gross!

Ooh, and Nona saying she doesn’t like redheads when Gideon is one… very hm. Even if Nona was very much not thinking about Gideon in her reply here, because Gideon has darker skin!

-p140 Welp, I see we’re going to have a bunch of nurse!Cam and nurse!Dulcie art and fanfic now given Pal’s answer…

I’m amused at how Nona immediately assumes Cam lied and not that she didn’t know. Which, tbf, is my read of it too.

-p140 Okay, Nona wishing she had someone else to eat food for her is both very #relatable and also something that I’ve seen in a few Gideon and Harrow fics!

-p140 end - WELP THEN

Chapter 12

-Describing Crown’s golden hair - oh. OH. Ha, how did I not figure it out before? She’s Coronabeth, isn’t she? Charismatic and beautiful and committed to BOE’s cause.

Judith isn’t We Suffer, is she? Or more likely, “The Captain” from the guest list?

p144 Yup, “The Captain” is Judith!

-p148 Ah, our first look at true BOE! Apparently, they’re really into the mask aesthetic,

Which is an interesting choice isn’t it? Usually it’s the evil empire and their Stormtrooper-esque grunts  who wear the humanity and empathy-removing masks!

Of course, the coronavirus pandemic also puts another meaning/implication on the table…

-p148 Ha! We get Corona’s full BOE name! No obvious other languages in the middle, so I’m not sure where the component pieces begin and end. Looking forward to seeing analysis of it on tumblr.

-The term Ctesiphon for the BOE cells has come up several times. Another thing I’ll have to read analysis of to understand the reference.

-p149 Oh boy, writing a character (We Suffer) with an accent can be… tricky… to pull off respectfully. Is We Suffer’s just a generic accent, or is the awkward grammar meant to be similar to another real language?

-p150 Heh, a good bit of humanizing here. Despite the mask and the voice changer, this BOE bodyguard is still spoiling for a fight.

-p153 As Ianthe coined “Harry,” Corona coined “Millie.” The twins really do think alike in some ways…

-p153 So Corona is bi! *briefly considers the shippable male characters in this series* yeah no, that’s still not happening

-p154 As I thought, Varun is the BOE name for the RB. Ooh, and later we get the BOE names (codenames?) for the Lyctors too!

If I ever do make that giant character names spreadsheet, should I add a column for these names… hm… probably...

-p156 Ooh, so Cytherea was working with BOE! Good to have that confirmed. It was speculated, but unclear how much she was working with Augustine and Mercymorn or BOE.

But yeah, seems like her deal on Canaan House was personal revenge, not a BOE plot in any way

-You know I’ve been assuming zombies = necros, but I think it might be closer to just anyone from the Nine Houses? Since they were all resurrected, after all.

-p159 Ah, so Juno Zeta is part of the hostage sixteen. Expected, but that continues to make the situation even more fraught.

Chapter 13

-p162 “Our Lady of the Passion” aka Pash was the bodyguard, and Nona knew her name all along. Huh. Also, nepotism? Is she related to We Suffer or Unjust Hope, or even Wake?

-p163 Yup, we’re visiting Judith. Who is probably completely Herald-mad at this point. Man, poor girl cannot catch a break, can she?

-p165 Hmhm! Is that the RB speaking through Judith to Nona? I’m pretty sure it is! Which suggests the other RBs are probably sapient too…

-p171 Heh, of course the RB wouldn’t speak in a human tongue. And of course, Nona understands anyway!

Chapter 14

-p174 That’s pretty much confirming Jodybeth is canon, isn’t it! (Now if only they would both stop being idiots…)

At the same time wiping out Corona x Cam. (And Corona x Harrow, but does anyone ship that on its own?) Sad trombone.

-p175 I wonder who Corona was reminded of here? Perhaps more of Ianthe, but perhaps Gideon? Harrow? Someone else? >p177 Ah, I think here she’s reminded of Gideon, and previously it was Harrow.

-p177 Hm, what does Corona think Nona is? I’m imagining it’s that she’s Harrow as a full Lyctor, but that also doesn’t seem quite right….

Chapter 15

-p184 Born in the Morning is a he and his name is in a different language, I’m guessing? Because Nona doesn’t realize when she translates, so she seems to have said it in the wrong language at first here.

[Later me: It will turn out that Born in the Morning really does have ties to BOE, but if Nona is translating without realizing it, then do all names sound like that to her? Maybe Honesty is actually, idk, Veronica or Kurt or something like that, and Nona just autotranslates it to be the root meaning.]

-p184 Seems like Hot Sauce is in a group that’s even more anti-necro than BOE. Perhaps one of the anarchist factions briefly mentioned?

-p185 Ohh, was Hot Sauce an original inhabitant of the planet? And her brothers died fighting the Cohort invasion. (The explosive bodies is a specifically Fourth trick, iirc.)

Man, the subtle tragedy of the 14 year olds in this series both being soldiers on the opposite sides of a genocidal war. If Hot Sauce ever met Isaac or Jeannemary, they would literally kill each other, and not in a funny way at all…

-p186 Hm, what is the Secret that Nona has? Have we been shown this yet

Yeah I don’t think we’re supposed to know the Secret. A clinic and organ markets - does Nona think her heart or brain will give out?

John 8:1

-p189 It was pretty obvious that if the “present” of the dream was ever reality, it was Alecto and John post-perfect lyctorhood. But if there were any doubt, John is now described to have the weird, inhuman eyes.

-p189 There’s a Mars installation and still Flat Earthers exist. Of course.

-p190 I have a feeling this section, with the references to YouTube and streaming, may be one of the aspects of these books that ages the quickest.

-p191 So Alfred was a hedge fund manager in a past life. Some cavs do deserve Lyctorhood lol.

-p193 We’re doing a lot to make John sympathetic here. My called shot in my HtN thoughts was that if John ends up “redeemed” or portrayed too sympathetically, it will cause a lot of furor within the fandom (based on my experiences in another fandom). *grimace intensifies*

[Later me: I shouldn’t have worried, this was one bullet NtN dodged! Even with these earlier sections, John is still the Worst!]

-Also, everyone was so sure necromancy came from John killing the ten billion, but it really seems like it didn’t? Unless all of John’s story is a convenient lie… And we do know that John lies…

Chapter 16

-Come to think of it, I’m surprised “necromancer” is a banned word for Nona. Pal called it “superstition.” But that’s what they’re called in the Nine Houses??

-p197 And now we see the House propaganda tactics. Apparently they have videos and projector tech too!

-p198 Noodle was bred to have an “arboreal” pair of legs? Wild. But at least the extra legs don’t seem to be hurting him, unlike poor pugs who were bred to barely be able to breathe.

-p203 When you’re in, you’re in. Given the mention of Hokey Pokey, this was almost certainly Nona remembering John teaching Alecto. No one on the Ninth would reference that lol.

-As a reader, of course I want to see more worldbuilding of the House overtures, but in-character - the contrivances to get Nona to go to the broadcast seem a bit awkward and forced.

-p205 Huh. So House projector tech involves silvery hexagons that light up. No idea what’s going on there, if it’s meant to evoke any real tech at all.

-I’m 50/50 on whether this is genuine overtures or as the people suspect, just getting a big crowd to kill them all. Actually going up to angry people and thinking that showing a nice, happy movie would help does seem like John being his funny doofus self - but underneath the “just some guy”-isms, John’s empire is also a terrifyingly functional fascist war machine, so it’s always hard to predict which way he will swing…

-...The unrehearsed and snippy nature of the speaker of the broadcast initially makes me think Mercy. But Mercy is dead. Ianthe, then?

-p207 Brown hair, but very pale skin, hm? Oh, and the blue-brown eyes are a giveaway. Did Ianthe get Babs’s hair color because of her dip in the River at the end of HtN?

Outside chance that this is Babs somehow (if Ianthe didn’t survive the trip back from the River at all?), though in theory he should have Ianthe’s eyes if that were the case.

-p207 New Rho! We finally have a name for this planet they’re on!

-208 Ah. So this is an ultimatum directed at Corona and the rest, isn’t it.  But mostly Corona I suspect.

-Prince Ianthe Naberius the First, eh? Seems like some level of Ianthe-Babs fusion went down... now that is something I wasn’t expecting!

Also, Saint of Awe? Hmhm, I’ve seen that as a possible title for Ianthe in fics before! Did someone leak ARC details, or just a good guess?

-p209 Oh, so THAT’S where Gideon’s body went!

Is… is she even alive at all, or just being puppeted by Ianthe’s necromancy?

And hey! Now we have a name for Divine Highness Gideon! “Crown Prince Kiriona Gaia” huh.

Also looks like I was right that the dream girl was Gideon.

Also also, I guess Gideon’s body was the precious thing that was lost in the attack mentioned way earlier!

-p210 Okay yeah Gideon’s still a corpse. Is anyone inhabiting the corpse?

-”Anyway!” Ianthe is still hilariously casual at these official proclamations, you’d think she wasn’t raised from birth to become a political leader. :P

-pfff OF COURSE this would end in a “is this still on?” joke. OF COURSE

-p216 I haven’t done much speculating about Angel (Aim?). But with the driver speaking good House - could they be another runaway House member? Even a Lyctor, perhaps?

-p218 Oh dear, Pyrrha is missing! But it’s Pyrrha, she can take care of herself, at least… right? Right??

-Huh, another John dream? Did Nona faint?

John 19:18

-p220 Ulysses and Titania were Fourth, weren’t they? Some historical rhyming going on with the Fourth representatives always being seen as kids compared to the others.

-p222-223 Ah, and as long predicted, here’s the disappeared trillionaires who abandoned the Earth. And presumably, John is still searching for them.

But it wasn’t even clear if the FTL travel would work. Maybe they all just phased out into a planet and died. And this whole quest for revenge is meaningless.

But then, where did BOE and the human population on other planets come from, if not from the trillionaires? So who/what is John searching for?

Or was Augustine wrong about the searching part? Maybe this is more of a [uh, FFXIV spoilers I guess?] Dragonsong War situation. Just an endless meat grinder of vengeance where the continuing suffering is the entire point.

Day Four >>

#the locked tomb #nona the ninth #ntn spoilers #tlt analysis #my ramblings #my tlt stuff #read more #thoughts on ntn

[sweetbunpura]

Cowardly Night

Night stared off into the distance, looking at the mountains that stretched out in front of the lake. The sun was starting to go down and the only sound that could be heard was the crackling of fire and the sound of crickets. Night closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and let it out. These were moments where he was truly at peace, no school to worry about, no one to startle him, and plenty of flowers to press. Wind blew off of the lake, ruffling his pale gray long sleeved shirt and blowing around the drawstrings of his tan colored pants. His stomach gave a low rumble, breaking him out of his calm state as he focused back on the water. As if summoned, something breached the calmness of the lake and stood there, getting their soaked bangs out of their face.

“Did you find anything?” Night asks the figure, who turns to look at him.

Goliath held up a few fish by their tail fins, their scales bright and colorful compared to the gray coloring of Goliath’s merform. The third year swam to shore while Night went through his forgeables and pulled out a few herbs they had gathered earlier. A splash sounded behind him before Goliath came into view. His clothes were dry but his hair was still wet, causing his long sleeved orange shirt to become darker. His pen was clipped onto the pocket of his dark green safari pants. In his other hand, opposite of the one holding the fish, held up his black hiking boots. Goliath gently handed their dinner over to the fae, who set to work preparing the fish.

“Where’s Jade?” Goliath wondered as he looked around their camp.

“He went back to collect any mushrooms he had missed on our way up here.”

“Did he say when he’d be back?”

There was a rustle behind them and both of them turned to look as Jade emerged out from behind a few bushes. He was smiling, clearly indicating that whatever he had gathered had been something new.

“Welcome back, Jade.” Night greeted.

Goliath lightly teased. “I was about to come find you myself if you took too long.”

“Oh my. Were you worried about me?”

“You can handle yourself.” Goliath replied. “The scariest thing in the mountains happens to be us.”

Jade smiled and set his pack down besides his tent before joining Goliath and Night by the fire. Night handed one of the cooked fish to him and handed one to Goliath. The trio sat by the fire, eating and talking as the sun went down and darkness enveloped the mountains. Eventually, Jade retired to his tent, bidding his companions a goodnight in the process. Night watched him disappear into his tent and kept staring for a few more moments, completely unaware of the look Goliath was sending him.

“When are you going to talk to him?” Night let out a squeak and whipped around to stare at his friend.

“I-I don’t know what you’re talking about...” Night’s eyes shifted over to looking at the dwindling fire.

“We’re going off to our fourth year and Jade’s a handsome guy.” Night looked at Goliath with a raised eyebrow. “Not my type. But Jade could be someone else's type and by the time you muster up the courage to tell him, he could be taken.”

“...Talking is hard...” Night poked the fire. “Which is why you hardly ever talk.”

“Mmh.”

“But what if Jade doesn’t like me back? Then I’m just outing myself.” The fae sighed. “I’m nothing but a coward.”

“We’ll you’ve grown from when we were first years and you hid behind me after running from those Savanaclaw guys.”

“Have I?”

“Well, you’re a little less skittish than you were. Now I can approach you without you jumping ten feet up in the air.”

They both laughed at that before falling into a comfortable silence.

“Well.” Goliath got up. “I’m heading to bed. Night... Night.”

“Haha.” Night pouted at the small joke as watched the shark mer disappear into his tent.

The fae sat there for a few more minutes before extinguishing the fire and going into his own tent. Morning saw the trio getting prepared to return to school, each of them packing up their tent and gathering any supplies. Night looked through the rolls in his camera when he heard footsteps approaching him. Expecting it to be Goliath, Night looked up and felt his voice catch in his throat as he stared at Jade.

“H-Hello, Jade.”

“Good morning, Night.” Jade smiled. “Did you sleep well?”

“U-Uh-huh.”

“That’s good.” Jade tilted his head. “I couldn’t help but overhear some of your conversation with Goliath last night.”

Night went pale and all the color seemed to drain from his body.

“Do you have something to tell me?”

Jade was staring at him now, waiting patiently for an answer. Great seven, Night could get lost in his eyes and how soft his smile was and just everything about Jade was attractive and Night was screaming on the inside.

“I-I....I’m sorry, but no.” 

“I see. A shame really.” Jade turned away. “But Moray’s are patient. I shall continue to wait for your answer.”

Night choked as Jade walked away, across the makeshift camp, Goliath was sending him a look. NIght shied away from the look and followed after Jade as he started the trek back to the campus. Has he really changed since his first year at NRC? To Night, the question seemed clear as day. He was still a coward.

#Night Alexander #Goliath Gallucci #jade leech #twisted wonderland #TWST OC #twisted wonderland OC

[fandom-monium]

fuck shit i loved unrivaled but can we please get jealous reader? like maybe everyones on a mission and spencer has to flirt with someone?? the target??? thank you keep doing what you do!! <3

Established Relationship Rivalry

Summary: In which you really don't like Spencer talking to other girls... or assassins. "Shut your mouth, before I do it for you."

WC: 1.8k

TW: Spencer Reid x GN!Reader, Jealous!Reader, companion piece to Unrivaled but not a sequel, pining (?), fluff and angst(?), established relationships RIVALRY, more reader-centric sorry, ft. Entropy Cat Adams that bitch (derogatory), a darker side of Mysterious!Reader comes to light

⏤

You sit at the bar a few seats down from JJ, watching Spencer at the corner of your eye as he puts on a show of settling into the velvet booth. 

The restaurant is fancy, the kind you take your significant other, or in this case, invite your ‘high end’ date to gain their trust, lure them in. Your vision swims at its dark red scheme and slightly dim lights, but it’s not too much that you don’t notice how good Spencer looks in his new suit, something he’s recently taken up. The blazer’s dark against his light skin, his purple tie is in a lopsided knot, and he even combed his hair a little. 

You sigh. If only you weren’t on the job, you’d stare as much as you’d want. It seems you’re not the only one who’s noticed either, surrounding patrons stealing glances at Spencer despite most of them with company.

You decide suits might be your favorite on him. It’s definitely up there.

But as the wine glass threatens to crack between your fingers, you weigh the possibility that maybe⏤just maybe⏤you should reel in your emotions, because you might actually get yourself kicked off the operation.

Now, you’re not jealous. Seriously.

This isn’t jealousy. Spencer and you aren’t even like that. Like, yeah you care about each other (more than what would be considered platonic), but you’re not together together, and there’s certainly not this weird, unspoken agreement that neither of you are to be ‘involved’ with others. Because that would imply you have feelings. More specifically, non-platonic feelings for someone you’re just not ready to admit to.

Then Catherine Adams enters the arena.

Her strides are short, almost dainty, and if you were a less experienced profiler you’d think that she was a normal woman, shy and awkward as any first date would be.

But you know each footstep is calculated, controlled. A perfected facade built on years of practice.

Other than respecting her abilities, you don’t know how to feel about her. From what little you guys could gather from her file, she is little… psycho.

So no, you’re not jealous. 

You’re not jealous when she exchanges shy smiles with Spencer. 

You’re not jealous when she invades his personal bubble. Or when she gropes him for his gun.

No, this isn’t jealousy that burns in your stomach. Oh no no no.

This is fury, your eyes stinging with barely contained rage. And as you imagine the eight different ways you could amputate Adam’s hands with a butterknife (there’s plenty within arms length, you could reach it), it takes Hotch’s stern voice for you to lower it to a simmer.

“(Your Name), calm down,” he crackles into your earpiece.

Hoping to dissuade from yourself, you cover a sickly sweet smile behind your glass, your canines glinting in the light. “Hotch, please, I’m the epitome of calm and collected.”

“We can literally see your teeth grinding on cams, and if we can see it, Cat Adam’s will too⏤”

You huff.

“Now calm down. You look more like a disgruntled divorcee than a satisfied customer.”

Okay, harsh. You almost reply indignantly before you catch JJ’s gaze, her blue eyes warm with enough understanding that it makes your shoulders relax. As much as you appreciate her, you’re supposed to be strangers in this restaurant. She can’t even mouth to you without giving you both away, blowing your covers⏤

“...tell Blondie McBlonderson over there at the bar to disappear.”

⏤cover. Welp. There goes that plan.

Immediately you lower your gaze to the rim of your glass, keeping the bitch in your peripheral as JJ clenches her jaw and slides off her stool, trudging off to the kitchen. It’s a chess match; Cat picks each of you off as if you’re pawns, sacrificial pieces, bait, until the restaurant is clear and Morgan, Lewis, and you remain. Gun raised, you try not to sneer as Lewis cuffs the Bomber’s hands behind her back, leading her and the civilians outside. 

“Guess we’re right back where we started. You and me with a gun,” Adams huffs, her tone betraying nothing. Your anger spikes as she grips Reid like a human shield. “Although, I didn’t think I’d get the chance to see you.” She stares across the room at Morgan…and you.

She’s looking directly at you.

You frown. “Do I know you?”

Adams snorts, adjusting Reid in front of her, “No, I guess not. Last time we met was years ago, and you were a whole other person at the time. I barely even recognized you.” Her eyes trail over your figure, and your skin crawls as her lips stretch into a cruel smile. A threat. “But you never forget your first, right?”

Oh. Oh.

Oh no.

In the blink of an eye, you pull the hammer of your firearm, its click echoing through the empty restaurant louder than it should have. Your lips pull back in a snarl, “Shut your mouth, before I do it for you.” 

Her response: a cheshire grin in return.

Huh. You hadn’t used that tone in what feels like forever, your voice laced with the promise of silence and death. It doesn’t feel as foreign as you hoped, and the realization wrenches your gut as you pretend not to notice Reid and Morgan’s scrutinizing gaze, eyes full of questions. Questions you really don’t want to answer. Not now.

Preferably not ever.

So you redirect everyone’s attention back to the situation at hand. It takes little prompting, considering Adams is holding a gun to Reid’s face, and it’s not long when Morgan convinces her to surrender. Like a shadow, you trail behind Morgan as Reid hauls her to the prison transport, your eyes burning a hole in the back of her head.

As Reid steps away, as he quietly settles next to you, before Morgan shuts the truck’s double doors Adams catches your eye. Her eyes glisten as her body shudders from hiccups. But she grins at you, wide enough to make your stomach squirm.

You flip her the bird in return.  

For the rest of the night you act natural, keeping your head down. You don’t leave right away, because nothing screams ‘something’s wrong’ than ditching everyone, so you passively agree to check on Garcia despite your grim mood. But at the sight of her, inebriated as she aggressively tells everyone how she loves them⏤loves you⏤you can’t help the tiny smile that spreads across your face (mostly because she’s pinching your cheeks). 

Even if she doesn’t mean to, Garcia manages to brighten your day, and you love her more for that.

After bidding your farewells (swallowing when Morgan shoots you a look that says, ‘this isn’t over’), you walk side by side with Reid, trudging through the tense atmosphere until you realize with a tight chest: he escorted you to your car. For a moment, you both stand at the driver’s side door, a beat of silence passing as you shakily pull out your keys. 

His hands, stuffed in his pockets, clench and unclench as his jaw sets. He’s yet to look you in the eye but you know, and for once you pray⏤to the universe, to whatever deities are out there, to Karma⏤that he’ll let this go, drop the subject. Hopefully never bring it up.

But this is Spencer we’re talking about. He’s your… friend. He’s confused and concerned and he wants to help some way, somehow.

So as you unlock your car, as his lips part, you don’t give him the chance, shoving away your dread. 

“You wanna get dinner?” It comes rushed, fear trickling into your voice. You hope he doesn’t notice. (He does.)

Spencer blinks at you, his mouth agape. “What?”

“It’s just,” You lick your lips, tugging thick air into your lungs as your body screams to run. Your eyes dart from his, looking at the ground, your car, the scuffs on your shoes, and you hate yourself, knowing Spencer notices all of it. “It’s a shame we didn’t get the chance to eat at that expensive restaurant, ya know? It was paid for too.”

Please, don’t ask. Please, don’t ask. 

“...That’s true.” His tone is scarily neutral. 

Looking up, you’re taken aback as he turns away to round the hood of your car to the passenger side door. “What do you think of thai for tonight?” 

You stammer a response, something along the lines of ‘uh⏤yeah, sounds good’ as you clamber into the car after him, fumbling to insert your key into the ignition. Your nerves only worsen by the second as you drive off into the dark, the only sounds coming from the rev of the engine and your heart thundering in your ears. Up ahead the traffic light changes, slowing you to a stop. You glance at Spencer, his purple tie red from the light, his side profile softly outlined in its harsh glow. He remains deathly quiet.

The silent treatment, huh. If he thinks reverse psychology is going to work on you...

He’d be absolutely right. His silence is deafening.

You turn to him, “Spencer⏤”

“You don’t have to.” Your breath catches in your throat, his lips parting and closing as he stumbles for the right words, “I mean, not right now. I-I know this isn’t the best time, but at some point we’re going to have to talk about it. So whenever you’re ready, I⏤” He clears his throat, twisting in his seat and meeting your eyes. His eyes gleam, earnest even in the dark. 

“We’ll be here for you.”

You can’t help gawking at him. Because Spencer’s eyes are inquisitive and kind⏤always have been⏤but right now they’re trained on you, and your face burns as your heart swells. You’re suffocating.

Because you want to tell him⏤all of them.

But fear clutches your heart.

White-knuckled grip on the steering wheel, you face the road again, blinking through unshed tears. “Thank you.”

Spencer nods, relaxing back into his seat. You’re relieved your answer’s enough for now.

The light turns green and you speed off. The grim night turns a little brighter as you fall back into routine with Spencer, the tension slowly lifting, your stomach, once filled with lead, now stuffed with thai food.

You’ll deal with Cat Adams later. She’s behind bars, so you doubt it’ll be anytime soon. You laugh as Spencer curses, soiling another pair of chopsticks when they hit the floor. Yes, you’ll deal with her when you’re ready.

That is, until you’re stopped by another red light.

⏤

AN: no cap i hesitated posting this because i realized after finishing its less of a Spencer Reid x Reader and more a reader-centric. i wanted to establish that reader has a whole backstory sorryyyy i hope yall like it anyway :)))

if you didnt notice, unless stated otherwise almost all my oneshots and FtH are tied together by Mysterious!Reader. yall dont have to but if you read them it helps understand reader better??

#spencer reid x reader #mgg x reader #matthew gray gubler x reader #spencer reid imagine #mgg imagine #matthew gray gubler imagine #spencer reid x y/n #mgg x y/n #matthew gray gubler x y/n #spencer reid fanfiction #mgg fanfiction #matthew gray gubler fanfiction #spencer reid #mgg fic #criminal minds x y/n #spencer reid x oc #queue still here?

[hayjeon]

Tips on creating fun fanfic headers!

i had so much fun writing the fanfic writing tips yesterday and i got a few more questions about header-making, and so i decided to make one more of these! i hope these tips help somebody out there! hope you enjoy :) 

p.s. these tips won’t require any hard editing skills or photoshop skills, nor any expensive tablets/apps! 

typically i spend around ~5-10 min creating one header, and that’s either after i think of/finish a fic. i have so much fun doing it and sharing it with you that i figured i’d share how i do it! 

why headers? 

as I talked about in my fic tips, one of the most eye-catching things about fics are headers. when i’m scrolling through a rec page, my home page, a tag, or even someone’s masterlist, i’m immediately drawn to well-made headers. that’s what captures my attention, and then i’m more drawn in by the content. so, you can say that headers is your own version of an ad for your own fic, or an extension of it (like the cover of a novel!) 

if you were writing your own book, imagine how much time you’d spend figuring out what you wanted your cover to look like. i try to have as much fun and invest as much time making my own headers because it’s just the cherry on top to my finished product :) 

disclaimer: BUT HEADERS ARE NOT NECESSARY/DO OR DIE! if you don’t feel like you want to do this, then keep writing! its ok! this is just a suggestion. i’ve seen plenty of well-written fics without headers at all, so don’t beat yourself up over not having one/not wanting to do one. this is truly just a fun, extra kind of thing, and only keep reading if you want to learn how i do it! :) 

tips for people who don’t want to make headers: if you still want something to make your fic stand out, use gifs! i use them in my drabbles a lot! this will at least give ur fic a lil boost! 

how to find pictures

I typically use unsplash, which is a free website in which photographers upload their HQ pics for free use. the pics are really high quality, typically stock photos, and don’t have any logos on them like other ones on google. unfortunately, you won’t find any pics of the members or anything, but you’ll find beautiful stock photos of typical scenes like “ocean scene” or “desert scene.” I found the stock photo for cut me open (shown below) on that site by just looking up “medical” or “doctor”. 

i used to use google a lot and just use keywords like “desert scene HQ” and edit the search settings to deliver HQ pics, and a minimum # of pixels, but unplash is definitely better in terms of quality, more aesthetic photos, and no logos/watermarks. 

on some occasions, i will screenshot some scenes of youtube videos, turning up the quality to 1080p or 4k and zooming in so that the pixelation is as crisp as possible, and then editing it later to look good (which i’ll explain in a second!) 

the above photo was a scene from the specific characters from the drama, “100 Days My Prince” that I screenshotted from a youtube video that TvN uploaded, recapping the drama. I cropped it just right so that their faces were left out, which i’ll also mention soon! 

things to look for when picking pictures: 

you want the picture to reflect a specific motif/theme from your fic! if its a moody fic, then try to find a moody scene that you can edit with filters/lighting to look even moodier; or if the characters’ jobs are a big portion of the fic (like cut me open/doctor theme) try to look for stock photos with that shown very clearly!

make sure its high quality: tumblr really dumbs down the quality of the photo when uploading it, so try your best to find something with a lot of pixels in it so that when you start editing, you don’t sacrifice too much of the quality already

try to look for something simple/clean: a picture with too much subject (ie. people in the background, or too much detail) may end up taking away from the main point of your header, which is your title. so find pics without too much clutter! 

try to make sure its landscape: which will help during editing to save some of the quality better. 

editing your pictures

now that you have a specific photo you want to use, now its time to edit! I use VSCO CAM (free app) and my own apple photos cropping tool for faster crops. 

crop/adjust: if your picture is too large/wide, crop it to at least a 16:9 ratio. i’d say aim for skinnier if you can, so that you don’t take up too much space (especially if you’re planning to add headers to your masterlist). also crop out any faces, any clutter, any unnecessary details, so you have a nice, clean slate to work on when adding text. 

contrast/sharpen/clarity/white balance/etc.: i’m not gonna give you a lesson on photography, but i’ll tell you I learned like 80% of everything that i know just by fiddling with it on VSCO! So just try it out and play with the app, see what you can make of it. i’d say a rule of thumb to follow is that you want happier fics with a brighter tone, and moodier/angsty fics with a darker tone so that it can reflect the nature of the fic further, without saying anything! 

if you wanna be extra af like me, then go a step further and photoshop your pics. this one is a good example; when i screenshotted this scene from another youtube video for my fic One Year My Love part 2, i was specifically looking for a scene that would showcase the ornate/regal details of their clothing/environment in contrast to part 1′s modest clothing/scene (the first header in this post). 

i found this scene, but actually, this scene portrays the Crown Prince and the Princess, not y/n. So, the actors weren’t smiling at all! They were actually frowning at eachother in this scene, to portray the tension between the two characters and their marriage. 

So, I took the extra step, adjusting the pic with VSCO so that their shoulders/chins were at the same level, cropped off their faces up until their lips, and then used the adobe photoshop free app to photoshop their lips to be SMILING at eachother!!!! subtle, but important! 

call me crazy for taking that much time but i’m so proud of how it turned out and i loved every second of making this one. that way, this scene makes it portray the happy ending for Jungkook and y/n! 

adding text to your header

you can use any app out there, but i really like Font Candy! I actually ended up buying the 2$ version of this and never regretted it, but you can actually find a lot of their basic fonts on the free version; I tend to use the fonts: OSTRICH SANS, BEBAS, TREND, and INTRO the most! these are pretty clean-looking, block letters that look good whenever i put them as my titles. 

I love this app too cause you can easily control the spacing between letters to make them take up more space, add shadows, or even make them contrast their background using the overlay feature; like this one i made for wildest dreams (see how the text changes depending on what part of the photo its on? amazing! it’s literally with a click of a button!!)

And i’ll always add “written by HAYJEON” or “by HAYEJON”, space it out, and add it somewhere underneath as my own branding.

orrrrrr 

if you want to be more creative, you can even go a step further and use whatever you have on hand to enhance whatever you’re trying to portray. 

for this one, i ended up finding this amazing photo on unsplash and i thought it would do a create job of portraying the “movie-set” quality of what wildest dreams is going to be about. this stock photo had someone else’s names on it, so i used my ipad, and used instagram to just erase the existing writing with the color of the background, and then wrote in my own title and url with my own handwriting/apple pen!!! 

i thought this was pretty cool because it’s like wildest dreams is its own movie/has its own movie set, which, once it’s out, you guys will see that it’s supposed to be! 

saving/uploading

this is pretty easy/obvious, but i figured i’d mention it. all the apps i mentioned are available on the appstore, and they will save directly to your photos. after doing that, i’ll just upload them into a special folder i have on my google drive so that when i’m finished writing a fic on tumblr using my laptop, i can easily download the photos without sacrificing quality. easy! 

and that way, i can save them forever; even if i have to delete them from my computer, i can always redownload them! 

side note: making text separators

i just recently started doing this, but ever since tumblr took down their text separators, i’ve just been cropping the bottom like 5-10 pixels of the header to use as my text separators! (with my laptop)

i saw some other writer doing it and thought that it looked better than what i had used previously (a cropped photo of a random line i found on google); i found that doing this tied my fics together a little better and just looked better aesthetically; 

so there it is! hope you enjoyed! :) i would love to see what other tips you guys have been using, feel free to send me an ask or reply to this post; and if you end up using any of my tips, please let me know! I love to hear from you guys all the time <3 

lots of love, especially during these times, 

hay <3 

#writing tips #story talk

[blazingopus]

Green Haze - Golden Wind

This story ended up much darker than I had intended. It was very difficult for me to write in some places. Drawing from detective noir can do that sometimes. For the squeamish of you (and this is in no way a judgement), I will list the parts where there is body horror in bold. Please enjoy.

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3LZDJ6gWi5HP2P2YCMTcn1?si=A4Kncm8JR_mkOdszS7TCww

You're a private investigator taking photos of someone who spots what you are doing. What happens next?

Napoli, and all of Italia for that matter, is ruled by The Famiglia. A complex web of businessmen, smugglers, politicians, assassins, drug peddlers, hustlers, bookkeepers, and every other role a mafioso could fill. Money acquired legally and illegally is funneled throughout the web, funding the various operations and front businesses. And pulling all the strings from the shadows is the illusive Boss, hiding his identity to preserve his life and keep control over all of Italia. He hears all, sees all. Little happens in the Famiglia without the Boss knowing at least in passing. This is the Empire called Passione. At least, this is what I hear when dealing in the underground.

I am a private investigator. I am paid large sums of money to investigate things that the police cannot, or will not, touch with their pristine hands. I say this, knowing that most of the police are in bed with corrupt politicians. The same politicians working closely, or at the very least taking bribes from Passione.

I only know this because I was in the police force for a few years myself. I saw first hand what went on behind closed doors. They say they want law and order. They say that they want to protect people. They say that they serve the citizens of Napoli. Lies. Nothing but lies. Most who join the force are corrupted by the system and the people. The few who do not leave of their own accord or are forced out.

Morality is a funny thing. Philosophers, authors, religious figures, and other thinkers have debated and formed their own frameworks to understand it. All of which are very different. But there are some basic ideas that most people tend to agree on. Killing innocents is bad. Stealing is bad. Lying is bad. Usually. There are more shades of grey to it all than an overcast sky. And many are willing to throw it all away for their own gain.

I walked away from all of it. The corruption, the lies, the posturing, the cutthroat environment. I was done with it all. I took the skills I had learned as a police officer and went into business for myself. You see, when the world is stripped of morals and decency, there are few things of value: Money. Information. Sex. Sometimes drugs, depending on how you felt that day. And the occasional organ. Of these, information became my currency. I procure information you want, for a price. Unlike the information brokers of Passione, I work on the street, I take the photos, and I steal the evidence. I can provide some of the most incriminating, career ending, reputation ruining information that the brokers would spend millions of Liras for. That is, if I were to sell it to them.

I don't work for Passione, and I have only worked with a few members. Poor souls. They had such ambitions of righting the wrongs, undoing the injustices from the inside. All of them ended up dead soon after their last visit to my office. Seems that the Boss doesn't much like members of his Famiglia trying to undo everything he had worked for.

It was a few days ago when another poor soul asked for my services. An up and coming politician with bright eyes and a noble heart. After being elected to a local office, he had found the government was as corrupted as any other. He was on a valiant quest to rid all he could of the "evil" out of Napoli. I told him that most do not survive that silly quest of his. He replied saying that, 'He would be one of the few who did, and bring some decency to his fair city.' He owed it to the people who elected him into office. I could tell he was a stubborn man, hellbent on his sacred duty. All I could do was shake my head and accept the upfront fee from him. How naïve he was.

Among some other things, he wanted me to look into a young man named Bruno Buccellati. The valiant knight had concerns about where Buccellati stood, since he liked to keep a low profile. While he was a mafioso, he was in good standing with the people of his territory and was a trusted right hand man to Polpo, the capo of Napoli. He suspected that Buccellati was either a noble individual like himself, or was playing nice to everyone to get an advantage. I told him it didn't matter either way.

I spent a couple of days getting a feel for his regular haunts. The people who lived and worked in his territory had a favorable view of him, but were somewhat protective of him. I was able to get more information out of them when I told them that he had helped me not too long ago, and was wanting to repay his kindness. Many said he would not accept any gifts or rewards, but wished me good luck. I didn't need it, but it was appreciated.

Buccellati moved around a lot, completing assignments from Polpo and maintaining the businesses under his jurisdiction. He did however, favor a particular restaurant. He tended to have small meetings there once a week or so with the team he was building. Such things were not uncommon in Passione. Many higher ranking mafiosi had a team of trusted few to help with whatever they were up to. It was a crucial part of the structure of the Familgia, and most teams were extremely independent. It was important that teams did not know of each other, so that separate operations could be conducted without interference or information leaking. At least, that was the intention. For some, it didn't matter how independent or how secretive a team was. Once they gained a certain level of status and notoriety, no matter how careful and secretive they were, word got around about their exploits. The only exception, of course, was the Boss.

The strange thing was, of the two people Buccellati had on his team, both were under the age of 18 and both had criminal records. Pannacota Fugo had allegedly murdered a teacher of his, and had a genius level IQ. If Buccellati played his cards right, he might make Fugo a crucial member of Passione. Narancia Ghirga was a different story. He had ran with gangs most of his younger years and only committed petty theft. From all I could gather, I could not understand why Buccellati had put him on his team. He had no outstanding qualities that I could find. The boy hadn't had an education in years, and had no particular skills.

There wasn't much else I could do now. I had been watching the restaurant for the past few days. I did a little snooping around the restaurant itself, and I found that Buccellati had made a reservation for tomorrow at noon. Four top. If I had to make a guess, he might be recruiting a new member or making some sort of deal. I would have to wait and see.

I made sure I look the part. The goal is to get a good look at Buccellati and his team. Take a few pictures. Start collecting some information about them. In order to accomplish this, I decided to dress a little casual chic. I was playing the role of a photographer for a travel magazine, getting some pictures of the local shops and the people in their natural state. It was important that the magazine had some candid photos along with the glamorized landscapes and reused building shots. At least, that was what I would use as an alibi.

I set up across from the restaurant at a quaint cafe with outdoor seating in the front. I had previously asked the owner if it was alright if I took a few pictures, and he let me eat free for the publicity. He didn't ask many questions. It was ten till noon, and the lunch rush was ramping up.

From what people told me, Buccellati had a few defining features. Piercing blue eyes. Dark hair cut in a severe bob. Pair of gold clips to adorn said bob. Suit with strange poke-a-dot pattern. Exposed chest with a tattoo or lace undershirt, no one could tell for sure. For someone who was so skilled at keeping a low profile, he was damn good at standing out from the crowd.

My eye caught someone entering the restaurant. Blue, hair, gold, pattern, chest thing. That must be him. I watched him talk to the host, who led him to a table right in front of a nearby window. My lucky day. At the table, I could see two other individuals, both looked to be young. These were most likely Fugo and Naranchia. They matched the descriptions I had come across earlier.

I was still watching the customers coming and going. Buccellati would not have reserved a four top if he was not expecting another person. Who that person was, I had no idea. A male walked in that made me pause for a minute. It was not his attire, which was also very distinct. Pale hair and skin deeply contrasted by his dark and broody clothing. It was the fact that it gave me a strong feeling of deja-vu. I didn't think it was a past client, or a past target. It went farther back than that, into the past I wanted to forget.

I took a sip of my water and made myself focus again. Fortunately for me, the mysterious man joined Buccellati at his table. He was lucky number four. It took about an hour and a half for them to order, eat, and discuss their business. The entire time, I was taking notes for one of the articles I was writing. At least, that is what I told the cafe owner. I was making note of particular ticks or quirks they had in their movements and speech patterns. I was also able to get a few pictures of them, but the main photos I was wanting would have to be taken as they left the restaurant.

I put my stuff in my bag when I saw they were beginning to wrap up. I left my camera hanging around my neck. I watched Buccellati pay the bill. The four of them stood up. They moved to the front of the building. I moved the camera to my face. I snapped a few photos as they came out the front door.

My heart stopped.

The last one out was the mysterious man. I finally remembered him. Abbacchio. He was one of the victims of the cruel justice system. I was coming to the end of my time in the police when I heard the news of his departure. He had made a hard decision, and it didn't pay off for him. I had worked close with him on some assignments, but I had not seen him since...

His deep purple eyes met mine through the lens. Deep. Accusing. Damn it. Why did I hesitate? I lowered the camera, keeping eye contact with him. His eyes bore into me. They were full of distrust and suspicion. Did he recognize me? Had he caught on to what I was doing?

Abbacchio finally broke eye contact with me, slowly walking away. I let our the breath I didn't know I was holding. I didn't know what his next action was going to be, but I needed to get the hell out of there. Damn it! How could I have been so reckless? So stupid? I could have just compromised everything. I put my camera in my bag and told the waiter my thanks.

I walked briskly toward the nearest train station. While it would be much more convenient to own a car, such a thing was dangerous. Cars can be tracked via licence plate, or could identify my apartment if someone should see me on assignment. That means my options for transportation are limited. Taxis would be faster, but I can blend into the crowds and loose people easier that way. If it all plays out properly.

When I reached the station, I bought a ticket and waited to board. I stood in the crowd, watching around me for anyone from Buccellati's team, or anyone else suspicious. I stepped on the train and found a seat. No one of note came on board. I spent the train ride anxious, my mind racing. Would Abbacchio do anything? Would they hunt me down? I could handle myself well enough, but the members of Passione were dangerous individuals. If they did, I probably wouldn't live through it. But this is what I signed up for when I took up this line of work. This is all my own doing.

The train came to a slow stop. I stood up and stepped onto the street. Heading straight home would be stupid. It would be better to head to the office first, where there would be people to witness anything that might happen. I walked over a block or two to the building where my office was located. I entered and unlocked the door. Inside was the same as I had left it. The heavy wooden desk sat in the back of the room with a chair to match. In front were two large chairs. I picked them out especially because they were very, very uncomfortable. I didn't want people staying longer than they had to, and having comfortable chairs just encouraged people to linger. It was important with the kinds of people I deal with.

I picked up the few documents I had sitting on my desk and stuffed them in my bag. They weren't of great importance, but I could not afford to leave any sort of evidence out. After most of my assignments, if I didn't think they would be useful I burned most of the information I had collected. I didn't want any evidence pointing to me if something got out. I usually didn't need it anyway. There were a few exceptions, though. I had a few safes in my apartment containing very valuable information that might come in handy one day. Don't know when, but you never know when you need to expose someone, or blackmail them, or call in a favor.

I straightened up the place before I left again. Speaking of calling in favors, if shit hits the fan, I might have to do that. Working in the professions I have, you get to know the right people, or the wrong people that need a favor. I didn't want to cash my chips in just yet, but I didn't know how all this would play out. I might not even have time to call in the first place. I have to be damn careful.

I locked the door and headed out onto the street, looking for a cab. My apartment was a bit away from my office. While I would have liked to be able to walk home every day, I didn't want anyone following me home that easily. I hailed a cab down and gave the driver directions.

As soon as I got home, I set the several locks on my reinforced door. Some may say I am paranoid, but that paranoia has kept me alive through some pretty bad scrapes. I quickly changed out of my clothes, throwing on a tank top and sweatpants. If they come for me tonight, I at least want to be comfortable. I then went to the kitchen and started a pot of coffee. It wasn't the first time I was going to miss out on a lot of sleep. I will have to keep up throughout the night.

I reached into a kitchen drawer and pulled out a pack of cigarettes. I needed something to calm my nerves. I hate smoking and would have much preferred alcohol. Alcohol makes me sleepy, and being able to aim is important if hell breaks loose. Nicotine would have to do instead. I took out a cigarette and lit it, inhaling the sickening smoke. Stale, this pack was getting old. I would have to pick up a new one soon.

I went back into my bedroom, opening up the top drawer of my bedside table. I took the two pistols I kept in there and checked the clips inside. I turned off the safety and stuck one in the waistband of my pants, feeling it settle against my spine. I picked up the extra clips I kept as well, putting two in my bra and sticking the rest in my pockets.

I went to the kitchen and grabbed one of my kitchen chairs, dragging it in front of my door. I poured myself a cup of coffee. I walked over to my chair and sat in it backwards. Pistol in my right hand, coffee in my left, cigarette in my mouth. I waited throughout the night with my eyes trained on the door, waiting for anything to go wrong.

The night passed to morning, and the time passed in silence. The sun rose on a new day. I was still alive and unharmed, for now at least. I rose from my seat and quickly showered. I hit myself with the cold water to wake myself up again. I tiredly put on clothes, keeping the pistol in its spot next to my spine. I put the other in the holster I keep in my jacket. I grabbed my bag and walked out my door, undoing all the locks from the night before.

I made my way back to my office without incident. The door was still locked and intact. Everything was in place inside. I sat down behind my desk and pulled out my notes, going over what I had collected over the past few days.

Buccellati seemed decent, at least. Many people went to him for counsel and help. He was Polpo's most trusted mafioso and went above and beyond to complete his missions. He ran his territory well and kept businesses alive. Giving his team a second thought, he probably picked them up off the street and took them in. The younger ones looked a little rough around the edges, and the one that was probably Narancia did not know what comb was. Still, I have run into a lot of people that looked like good people who ended up being rotten to the core.

I sighed and rubbed my face. I needed more coffee, but I didn't want to get up to actually make it. I was pretty much done with Bruno Buccellati, and I needed to move on the other targets my client had hired me to dig up dirt on. That is, if Buccellati didn't come after me and cut my life very short.

I sighed again and stood up, starting up the coffee maker. I watched blankly as the pot filled with caffeinated hot bean water. I needed to stay alert. I needed to stay awake. My life might depend on it.

I poured myself some coffee and walked back to my desk. I didn't need this information much anymore. I put everything in a manila folder and put it into a small safe under my desk. Damn thing was heavy, so it wasn't like anyone was carrying it out anytime soon. I took out my small spiral notebook from my bag, and looked at the list I had written a few days before. It was the list of targets I had been hired to investigate. I took out a pencil and crossed out Buccellati's name. Who would be the best target to go after next?

My head snapped up. There was a knock at my door. I quickly shoved the notebook back in my bag. There were a few possibilities going through my head. My client; he seemed to be a little impatient when I took the job from him. It could be a potential client, they liked to drop in sometimes. Or, it was Buccellati. That last one had my heart thumping against my chest and adrenaline filling my veins. I checked the guns on my person. Everything could go bad very quickly.

I stood up and crossed the room. I hesitated for just a moment before grasping the doorknob and pulling it open.

My heart stopped for just a moment. Before me stood Bruno Buccellati and Abbacchio, their eyes bearing down on me with serious expressions on their faces. I did my best to maintain a stony expression despite the terror filling me.

"Can I help you, Gentlemen?" I asked professionally. I might be able to talk my way out of this.

Buccellati nods his head slightly. "Yes. Do you have time to talk, miss?"

"I do." I moved aside and gestured for them to enter. They slid past me and moved to the chairs situated across from my desk. I swallowed and took a deep breath, trying to steady myself. Of all the things that could have happened, this was probably the worst. I would have to be smart about this.

I moved over to my office chair to sit down. A part of me was quite pleased to see Abbacchio becoming visibly uncomfortable trying to settle himself in his chair. Buccellati also looked very uncomfortable, but he was trying his best to not let it show.

"Allow us to introduce ourselves," Buccellati said as I pulled myself up to my desk. "My name is Bruno Buccellati," he gestured to Abbacchio, who had a stern glare on his face, "And my companion is Leone Abbacchio."

"A pleasure," I replied politely.

"It's not," Abbacchio shot back in a low voice. The glare on his face intensified.

Buccellati looked back to me with suspicious eyes. "Though, I am sure that you already know who we are."

"It is my business to know things, Mr. Buccellati." I had to be careful. "Word of you has spread throughout Napoli. It is not uncommon to hear tales of you in the crowds." I looked over at Abbacchio. "And Abbacchio and I served on the same police force together. We had some assignments together from time to time. Now, you said that you would like to speak with me. Are you interested in my services?"

"Not quite." Buccellati shifted his weight a little. "Your reputation precedes you, Miss (Y/N). You are known as a very talented private investigator, perhaps one of the best in Napoli."

I chuckled a bit. "Those words are not mine, Mr. Buccellati. I let my clients decide for themselves if my work is up to par." I tilted my head a little. "It also seems you know who I am. You know your way among the town gossip."

Buccellati cracked a small smile. "It has helped me before in the past, I must admit." His eyes bore into mine again. "What exactly do you do in this profession of yours, Miss (Y/N)?"

I had to play it cool, use a bit of misdirection. "I am a private investigator. I investigate whatever my clients hire me to. Cheating spouses, missing family members, the occasional long lost flame. Many people think that we like working with reporters, but they almost never tell the full story. Police are not much better. Too wrapped up in internal politics to investigate properly and arrest the right people."

"Many people also think that you investigate corruption." Buccellati interjected, his eyes still trained on me. "There are many politicians that do whatever it takes to achieve their goals, no matter how illegal."

I took a breath in. "I don't do that kind of investigating, Mr. Buccellati. If I were to investigate one bad politician, it would take me years to unravel the web of misdeeds and lies. Bad people tend to work with other bad people, who would also be exposed. All for what?" I shrugged. "There will always be corrupt politicians. Removing one would lead to another taking his place, if you could remove him at all. Best to stay out of it entirely. There are many people out there who need help that the police and politicians cannot provide. In doing my work, I hope to provide some solace to them."

"Do you really believe that garbage?" Abbacchio growled at me. Anger was washing over him. "Talking about helping people by going through their private lives. Sounds like a load of shit to me."

"Abbacchio, calm down," Buccellati ordered. His voice was stern and commanding. Abbacchio turned away, becoming more broody by the minute.

Buccellati looked back at me. "Passione is a powerful organization in Napoli, and all of Italia for that matter. It controls one of the largest drug trades in the world, and engages in many illegal activities. Surely, there would be people interested in finding out all they can about it, and the people who comprise its members?"

Buccellati was proding around, trying to find a way to pin me down. I would have to be careful how I answered "Yes, there are many people who would like to uncover the secrets of Passione. I have had my fair share of people try to enlist my services, but I have made it policy to turn them down. The mafiosi don't much like it when people go sniffing around where they shouldn't, and they tend to respond rather violently when they do. I also do not take any assignments from members of Passione. One job leads to another, and you either end up a member of Passione yourself or very much dead. Neither sound very appealing to me."

Buccellati nodded intently. "What kind of people do you take these "assignments" from, Miss (Y/N)?"

I looked at him suspiciously. "A variety of individuals. If you are wanting specifics, I am afraid I have a strict confidentiality policy. I do not share any information about any previous or current clients, or anyone I have or am investigating. Any information I find stays between me and the respective client. What they do with said information is their business."

Buccellati narrowed his eyes at me. " I want to change subjects, if you don't mind."

I nodded. "Go ahead." I had the sense that this conversation was taking a turn for the worse. I could feel my pulse speed up.

"Yesterday, Abbacchio saw you taking photos of me and my team as we were leaving a restaurant." Abbacchio turned back to me and stared at me like he was reading my soul " Not only were you taking photos of us, you were in the perfect location to take them. You were either very lucky that day, or you had been investigating me and tracking my movements." He leans forward, his voice becoming more direct and commanding. "So I ask you, what were you doing there that day, and why were you taking photos of us?"

I had to keep reminding myself to stay calm. I could not let anything important slip. I could not show weakness. And I could not answer that question. "I am not at liberty to say. I told you I keep my work confidential."

"That's fucking bullshit," Abbacchio yelled at me. "You know damn well that someone is trying to get dirt on us!"

"I told you, whether or not that is true, I cannot and will not release any information to anyone but my client."

Abbacchio stood up suddenly, violently knocking over the chair in the process. Anger seethed across his body. "I am not taking any more of this. You tell us everything, or I will beat the living shit out of you!"

I stood up, pulled the pistol out of my jacket and aimed it at him. I knew that if I pulled the trigger, the first bullet would lodge right between his eyes.

"You can try, but you would have to reach me first."

Before anything else could happen, there was a small flash of blue light in the corner of my eye, before something hit me square in the chest. I fell back a few feet, my body feeling like it was tearing apart. I landed on my side, my muscles not functioning and my joints not moving. I didn't know what kind of weapon Buccellati had used on me, but it was very effective. I moved my head a little, just enough for Buccallati and Abbacchio to come into view.

Buccallati looked deep into my eyes, murderous intent in his cool blue pools. "I'm tired of playing games, Miss (Y/N). Tell us what we want to know, or I will have to resort to more extreme measures. And know that I am very good at telling when people are lying."

I gave him a defiant glare. "You think you are the first person to threaten me? I have put up with a lot of shit in my life, I doubt you can do anything to me to make me talk."

His gaze lingered on me for a few seconds. Then he looked to Abbacchio. "Move her onto her back and support her head. I want her to see this."

Abbacchio nodded and knelt down next to me, sliding his hands under my arms and easing me onto my back. He pulled me up to his chest, and I could see my body splayed out in front of me. My arms and legs were in strange and unnatural angles, but they didn't look broken or damaged. Still, they were doing some very unnatural things.

I looked up at Buccellati. He was rolling the sleeves of this suit jacket to expose his forearms. "There have been many sorts of punishments used over the course of human existence," he said as he kneeled beside me. "Disembowelment is particularly brutal and painful. Most people don't tend to live through it. It just so happens that I have an ability that allows such an act to be easier on the both of us."

He outstretched an empty hand, and touched me just above my collar bone. If I could move, I would have flinched away. Abbacchio and Buccellati's strange power kept me from doing much of anything. Buccellati clenched his hand like he was grasping something. He then moved his hand down my sternum, over my abdomen, and stopped just below my navel. A thin line was left on my clothing. He then took both hands and pulled on both sides of the line he drew. Slowly, my clothes and my skin separated together to reveal what lay underneath.

I could see inside myself. I saw my heart as it drummed and sent blood shooting through my arteries and veins. I could see my lungs rise and fall with my breathing. I watched my stomach churn and move. My intestines pulsed as they did their digestive dance. I could see all the red and soft organs that were keeping me alive and well. Everything was wet and held together by long, thin membranes you could see though. I couldn't move, but that didn't stop me from shaking in fear.

"How easy it would be to kill you," Buccelatti said as he looked into my eyes. "All I would have to do is squeeze your aorta until your cells die of oxygen deficiency, if your heart doesn't explode first. Or I could cut off the air to your lungs and let you suffocate. But if I wanted to make this really painful," He moved his hands over to where my intestines pulsated, "I could simply disembowel you. That would be much longer and more painful, giving me more time to get some answers out of you."

My shaking was becoming worse, my breathing becoming ragged. I kept my eyes locked on Buccellati, avoiding the horror he had unleashed. "Even if I do tell you, you would just end up killing me anyway."

He gave me a small, terrifying smile. "I may be a mafioso, Miss (Y/N), but I can assure you that I am a man of my word. You tell me what I want to know, and all this will end."

"Either way, I'll be spilling my guts."

"That's the idea."

He reached into my body and grabbed hold of my small intestine. Reaching into his pocket, he brought out a small pocket knife, flipping it open. He brought the blade to my abdominal cavity, preparing to cut the thin membrane that held my organs in place. He was going to pull my intestines out right in front of me.

Tears welled up in my eyes. I tried to thrash around, do something to stop it, but nothing was working. I could feel hot tears running down my face. I began to scream, to beg, to plead with Buccellati to stop. This was not worth getting my intestines ripped out for. This was not worth dying over.

"What were you doing yesterday?" he demanded an answer. "Why were you watching us? Why were you photographing us?"

The tears kept coming. "I was hired to."

"Obviously. Who hired you?" Buccellati nearly yelled.

I choked out the client's name.

He thought for a moment. "You said that you didn't work for politicians. You also said that you don't investigate members of Passione. You are either lying or you are very confused, and I doubt you are the latter."

I dropped my head back and stared at the ceiling. "It doesn't matter if I take the job or not. Either way, he ends up dead. They all do."

"They end up dead?" Abbacchio questioned from behind me.

"Fools who think they can fix everything. Undo all the terrible things that Passione has done. Rid Napoli of corrupt people. They don't understand what they get themselves into." I swallowed and let more tears fall. "I try to warn them. Try to tell them they are playing with fire, but they never listen. They are so hellbent on being the hero that they don't have time to listen. It doesn't matter if I get them the information or not. They never have enough time to do anything with it. Passione always finds out. Passione always comes for them. And the fools always end up dead."

My words hung in the air for a moment, the mafiosi taking in what I had said. "That still doesn't explain why you took the job." Abbacchio said softly. "You could have refused him."

"I know, " I whispered. "But if I did, he would turn to other places to get what they want, and most of them are being funded by the government officials or are members of Passione. He would be found out and dealt with much quicker than if he came to me. The problem is, idiots like him tend to have family and friends that care about them. If I take the job, instead of someone else, he might live just a day longer."

I lowered my eyes to look at Buccellati again. He looked intently at me, but I couldn't read his expression. What was he thinking? Did he hate me? Did he think I was a fool for even thinking like this? Did he feel sorry for me for lying to myself, justifying working for these poor souls?

Buccellati put the knife back in his pocket, taking out a handkerchief to clean his wet hand. He stood up and walked over to my chest. "Help her up, Abbacchio." The two of them lifted me to my feet, careful not to hurt me.

I looked down at my body again. My limbs were normal and straight. There was no gaping whole in my torso. I was magically whole again. I wiped some of the tears off my face. What kind of superpowers did these people have?

I took control over my body again, trying to regain my balance. I smoothed out my clothing and adjusted myself. I took a deep breath in. "If you gentlemen would excuse me," I said without looking at the mafiosi, " I will return shortly." I promptly walked out the door and turned down the hall. I opened the lady's room door and headed to the sink.

I took a few haggard breaths. My body had stopped shaking but I was still trying to recover. I wasn't dead yet. I was still intact. I just needed to let my body calm down.

As far as interrogations go, that was very effective for how little he actually hurt me. How the hell did Buccellati open me up like that without actually cutting into me? Was this all some sort of fever dream? Or a nightmare?

I turned on the faucet and ran the water over my hands. I needed to gather myself. I splashed the cool water over my face. I glanced at the mirror as my face dripped. I looked like death. All the color had drained from my face, there were dark bags under my eyes. Even the muscles under my face didn't have enough energy to move properly. I grabbed a few paper towels and dried my face.

I was so tired. I didn't want to be here anymore, to deal with Buccellati anymore. I just wanted to sleep forever and let the world pass me by. Damn it all.

I gripped the edge of the sink. I had to go back in there. I had to face them one more time. I didn't have a choice. They had gotten what they wanted from me. I didn't know what other information they would attempt to get from me. I didn't know if I would want to give it to them. Besides, my bag was still in there.

I gave myself a few more adjustments in the mirror before walking out into the hall. I told myself to breathe, to stay calm. I forced myself to walk to my office door. I gripped the doorknob. I turned it and opened the door.

Abbacchio was sitting on top of my desk, one leg tucked under him while the other dangled off the side. Buccellati stood off to the side, involved intensy with the conversation with his companion. The chair that Abbacchio flipped over was still laying on its side. They did, however, pick up my office chair. The both of them looked at me as I opened the door.

"Are you alright, Miss (Y/N)?" Buccellati asked me, a concerned look on his face.

I closed the door behind me. "Well enough, at least." I looked up at him. "I am surprised you would even ask that."

He gave me a strange look. "I may be a mafioso, but I am not heartless."

"You could have fooled me."

Buccellati looked at me intensely. "You would do whatever necessary to protect what is important to you, am I right Miss (Y/N)?"

I thought for a moment. "I suppose so."

"So would I. In my business, people important to you end up dead if not protected."

I sighed. "I see your point, Mr. Buccellati." I walked over to my office chair. "My question is, who is important to you? Who is so close to you that you would torture and kill to protect?"

"Haven't you done enough digging as it is?" Abbacchio growled at me. He was always a little prone to bad moods, but I don't remember him being this bad.

I glared at him. "I answered you damn questions, you might as well answer mine."

Buccellati raised his hand. "She's right, Abbacchio. We owe her an explanation for what happened that day." He looked back to me. "Miss (Y/N), would you join us for lunch? I would be happy to answer any questions you have."

I gave him a confused look. "Why would you trust me? How do you know I won't just sell all the information you give me?"

"I agree," Abbacchio spoke up. "This is stupid, Buccellati. We have more pressing matters to attend to."

Buccellati looked back to me, a small smile on his face. "Something tells me that you can be trusted. But I will only answer you questions if you come with us."

I thought for a few moments. This could be a trap, certainly. But I didn't think so. Buccellati didn't seem like he had something up his sleeve. Free food also didn't sound so bad either. I leaned down and grabbed my bag.

"Lead the way."

Half an hour later, I was sitting in a restaurant. The very same restaurant I watched the day before. Sitting across from me was a very calm Buccellati and a not as calm Abbacchio. I scanned over the menu, trying to narrow down what I wanted to eat. It all sounded so good. After the waiter took our orders, he whisked away our menus, leaving the three of us to talk.

Buccellati folded his hands over his face. "So, what do you want to know?"

I thought for a moment. "Narancia Ghirga. Why is he on your team? I can understand Abbacchio. He has a lot of skills from his career as a police officer. He also has a lot of knowledge on how both criminals and police operate. Pannacotta Fugo is extremely intelligent, and can probably think his way around problems. Narancia has no particular skills or qualities that set him apart."

He took a breath in. "It is not a simple story. Fugo found him alone and broken on the street. He brought Narancia to me in the hopes that I could help feed him. He was also in bad shape and needed extensive medical treatment. I made sure he had a full recovery. I could tell as time went on he began to idolize me." He looked away for a minute. "This life I lead is not for most people. It can destroy you if you are not careful. I didn't want to drag Narancia into it. I sent him home to his father to continue his education."

I leaned forward, intrigued by the story he was crafting. "Then how did he become a mafioso?"

Buccellatti gave a momentary smirk. "He went behind my back. Went directly to Polpo for initiation. He requested to be under my command. I accepted." He took a sip of his water. "He might not look like much, but Narancia fights to the bitter end. He is deadly when he wants to be, and is extremely loyal. I could not ask for a better charge."

During the course of the meal, I asked many questions. I learned more about what had happened to Abbacchio, the hard choices he had to make. I learned about Fugo, the difficult life he led of study and high expectations. And I learned of Buccellati, his life of fending for himself and his father. Now, he fights for Napoli, doing what he can for the people.

While the stories were being told, I told mine. I had always wanted to make a difference here. There was this righteousness that always burned within me. But whenever I tried, someone or something always stopped me. The only correct way to get anything done in Napoli is the illegal way. So I stopped trying. I used my skills to support myself, maybe help where I could. But the more you dig up, the more you realize how evil people can be. The more it beats you down and takes hold of your soul.

By the time everything was said, we had finished eating and Buccellati was paying the bill. Once he had finished, he looked to me. "Would you wait for us outside, Miss (Y/N)? There is something I would like to discuss with Abbacchio."

I nodded. "Of course."

I wandered out the front door and leaned against the building. I watched the people pass by. One person in particular caught my eye. A teenage boy wearing an altered pink private school uniform. His blond hair braided down his back and his bangs intricately set. A strange sight indeed. But not the most extravagant person you would see in Napoli.

I saw Buccellati and Abbacchio walk out of the restaurant. I stood up and walked to them. "Before we part ways," Buccellati said to me, "I have one more question to ask you."

"Another one?" I joked.

He smiled for a moment. "Just one. What do you think of joining my team? With your skills, you would make a valuable asset. You already know Abbacchio, and the two of you would work well together."

"I am the last person who would want to join Passione," I said promptly.

He shook his head. "You would be a member of Passione, but you would be working for me." He looked intently at me. "You of all people would know how I run things. I am trying to make Napoli better for everyone. Would you join me in doing that?"

I avoided eye contact, trying to make sense of everything. Just earlier that day, we thought of each other as enemies. Now, he had seen something in me that compelled him to ask me to join his cause. And Abbacchio had agreed to this? He had been so antagonistic towards me.

I looked Buccellati directly in the eyes. "I would need to wrap up my assignments, or try to get out of them somehow. But, yes. I will join you, Mr. Buccellati."

He nodded. "Good. I was hoping that would be your answer. By the way, you don't have to call me 'Mr.' anymore. Bruno will do just fine"

I smiled up at him. "You don't have to call me 'Miss.' either. (Y/N) works just as well."

#jojo's bizarre adventure #jojo's bizarre adventure golden wind #golden wind #vento aureo #bruno buccellati #leone abbacchio #narancia ghirga #pannacotta fugo #jjba #jjba reader insert #jjba x reader #jjba fanfiction

[limjaeseven]

Queen Of Hearts

Pairing: Jimin X Reader ft. Jaebum

Genre: Smut

Word count: 8,276

Summary: Being the biggest pornstar in the industry, your company hands you the yearly special valentine's Day project. Each year you work with a new budding star and this year's one is particularly famous for his pretty face and perky ass.

Or

Jimin is an up and coming pornstar who lands the biggest project of his life and the opportunity to work (or fuck) his biggest inspiration, you.

Warnings: switch!reader, switch!Jaebum, sub!Jimin, dom!Yoongi, dom!Jackson, shameless smut, pegging, name calling, mommy kink, sir kink, mistress kink, threesome, polyamorous relationship, bondage, spanking, sex toys, punishments, sex work, porn industry etc.

[a/n]: I apparently love piling work on myself cause I literally had no time to finish this so apologies if it's terrible. The title has no correlation to the fic, I just couldn't think of anything. Hope you enjoy over 8k words of pure, shameless smut.

"Cut" The director shouted and signalled to wrap up the shoot. Jinyoung rushed to you with a bathrobe, a bottle of batter and pack of wet wipes as you shook hands with your costar of the day. Your company had been wanting you to experiment a bit more in the BDSM space as you grew to be one of the most popular and loved porn stars in the adult industry.

"Thank you, Jinnie" You said as you chugged the bottle of water and cleaned yourself up. You couldn't help but stare at Jackson's ass as he walked to his own manager who helped him clean up. Jackson Wang was an up and coming star, one who had been recruited by your company when he was gaining popularity as a camboy, and was an excellent submissive. The best part about him was he looked like such a dominant but was a total baby boy at heart.

The scene was pretty simple, it was a mommy Dom, baby boy scene with a lot of edging and sounding and teasing. The sound of Jackson begging was just so pleasing to your ears. Jackson was actually more popular in the gay porn genre but had agreed to work on the project as soon as he found out you were his costar. You see, working with you is a one way ticket to success and no one wanted to pass up on it.

"See anything you like?" Jackson cooed. It was a running joke amongst the actors to say the cheesy pick up line whenever someone was caught admiring their bodies. You glanced at Jinyoung who was also staring at Jackson's ass and smirked.

"Not really but I'm sure Jinyoungie here things your ass is cute" Jinyoung choked on the water he was drinking as his face turned red and both Jackson and you burst out laughing. The fact of the matter was, it wasn't you who had requested for Jackson, it was Jinyoung. Your manager had a not-so-subtle crush on the actor and just wanted an opportunity to ogle at the man's naked body, live.

"Aww really? Tell 'Jinyoungie' over here that I'm taking him out for lunch tomorrow at 12 and also remind him to give his number to Youngjae over there. Also let him know that if he actually ever wanted a show, he should ask me for it cause I'd give it to him free of charge" Jackson said, winking before pointing at his manager. As soon as the man turned away, you received a slap to your arm.

"Ouch" You murmured as Jinyoung lectured you for a minute about how inappropriate that was but you just smirked at him and called Youngjae over for him to take Jinyoung's number. You headed to your green room and changed into normal clothes before checking your emails.

As soon as you saw the words 'Valentine's project 2020' a smile bloomed on your face. You opened the mail to see the usual paragraph telling you that you were going to be the female lead in the three part project. Under the heading of costar was the name 'Park Jimin'. Park Jimin was a little bit of a legend amongst the actors in your industry.

The 20-something year old boy had started off as a camboy just like Jackson and ended up being scouted by you company for a competition that it held every year in which amateurs competed to create a single video that would get the most number of views. Jimin had won that year with the widest margin in the 8 year long history of the event.

You would be lying if you said that you hadn't looked up the man before out of curiosity. He was really good looking, maybe not as good looking as some of your other costars, but he still had really pretty lips and he had a cute ass. You had watched a few of his cam videos and you found them amusing. As a pornstar, you had seen your fair share of adult videos but Jimin had such an innocent charm to him that he almost made it feel like you totally weren't watching him jerk off.

You had a few shoots before the Valentine's shoot so you called Jinyoung up the next day to ask him for the scripts. When he picked up the call though, you could feel something weird on the other side of the line. Jinyoung was panting, his heavy breathing clear through the phone. You suddenly sat up, worried about your manager's health.

"Jinyoung? Are you okay?" You asked, your voice full of concern. You started imagining the worst case scenarios. Did Jinyoung hey in trouble? Was he sick? Your mind was racing when Jinyoung cleared his throat, pulling you out of your head. He knew you well enough to hear your cogs turning from the other side of the phone.

"I'm alright, y/n, just a little busy. Is it something important?" Jinyoung asked. You suddenly heard a loud sound from Jinyoung that sounded weird. Was he moaning? You heard a lot of squelching and finally put two and two together.

"Are you with Jackson?" You asked, amused. You could feel Jinyoung blushed as he choked out a 'yes'. You pulled the phone away from your ear and hit 'record' on the call. A familiar voice spoke from Jinyoung's end.

"Hey y/n, we're actually in the middle of something, can Jinyoungie talk to you later?" You chuckled at Jinyoung and asked him to not pick up the call the next time he was fucking on of your coworkers. You cut the call and laughed loudly before texting Jinyoung the audio clip from the call. You officially had blackmail material on your best friend, you thought.

You headed over to Jinyoung's office which was right next to yours, to find the scripts for the shoots. Park Jinyoung, being the absolutely meticulous man he was, had a folder on his desks labelled 'scripts' and inside the scripts for your films were arranged in the order of shoots.

You picked up the top three and were about to leave when you saw a note on Jinyoung's desk. It looked like the noted he usually wrote down while taking on the phone. Reading through it, you realised it was about a concept discussion for the Valentine's Day project.

Usually, as part of the project, a single film was shot but that year, they were planning a three parter. The date for the meeting for discussion was written on the paper which was about three weeks from that day so you decided to come up with some concepts of your own for the shoot.

Meanwhile, you worked on your other shoots. The first one was with your best friend Yoongi. He was one of the only men you liked being submissive to. He was really hot, with his lean body and sharp eyes. His deep voice both taunted and praised you as in the scene you were supposed to be bratty and you would be trained by your dominant.

Working with Yoongi was always a pleasure. Over the years, you both had built a perfect chemistry. He knew your body at the back of his hand and you knew all his buttons and when to push them. It showed on camera as well and that was one of the reasons why you two were one of the industry's most well loved duo.

The set was fairly simple-a bedroom with red walls and black sheets. Both of you preferred darker aesthetics so it was on brand. Harnesses and cuffs all make of steel and leather. A few floggers decorated the walls along with a spiked paddle. You were tied to the bed, dressed in a black soft corset with your hands above your head and your legs spread apart, fastened to the bedposts.

The shoot went pretty smoothly and before you knew it, Jinyoung was, as usual, running over to you with a robe and a bottle of water. He looked a little distracted lately. He had been constantly birdied in his phone and was always a bit lost which was totally unlike Jinyoung.

"Who are you texting?" You enquired. Seeing the way his cheeks turned red, you figured it must have been Jackson. They had hit it off pretty well, at least that's what you assumed because Jinyoung wasn't a guy who would have sex on the first date but he did. You loved teasing him about Jackson, loving the way he got flustered everytime you mentioned the Chinese man.

"Jackson really can't back off now that he's gotten a taste of your cute ass, huh? Classy, prim and proper Park Jinyoung falling for bad boy Jackson Wang's big dick, who would have thought that was possible?" You commented and Jinyoung threw his almost empty water bottle at you as you laughed.

"He's a nice guy okay? His big dick is just a bonus. I'm just mad you got a taste before I did" Jinyoung said.

"But wasn't it you who scheduled the shoot because you were busy drooling over his cock on screen and wanted to do it in real life? Jesus Christ, stop blaming me for things that you got me to do" You replied and Jinyoung shot you his iconic death glare.

The next shoot was with Kim Taehyung. It was your first time working with him as his genre was quite different from yours. He was known for his signature art film feel to his work. You had never delved into that market but when he requested you to be his costar, you were quite intrigued and decided to give it a shot.

The film was actually one that the man had been planning for a while as the center point for his multipart series. It started off Taehyung sitting in front of a canvas, dressed in nothing but a long trench coat and you kneeling on the floor between his legs, cockwarming him. As you slowly grew impatient, you were to morph it into a proper blowjob, followed by passionate love making involving some amount of random body painting in the middle.

It was surprisingly easy to understand Taehyung's vision for the film. You just followed his rythm and it turned out better than you expected. Due to the film being super artsy, there were no dialogues meaning the only sounds were those of moans, grunts and skin against skin. Fortunately Taehyung's baritone was more than enough to compansate for the lack of words.

When the shoot was over, you weren't greeted by Jinyoung but instead, Jungkook, another manager in the company helped you get dressed. When you asked him why Jinyoung didn't come, he passed you a note that he had given Jungkook, saying that there was an important event that he couldn't miss and asked him to fill in.

"Hey y/n, sorry for being unable to accompany you for the shoot. Jackson's having some problems with the company and he's having dinner with his boss to discuss his future prospects in the industry and he really needed some moral support so he asked me to accompany him and I just couldn't say no. Also I know the script for the next shoot doesn't have your costar's name on it and that was on purpose. Check your recent texts and you'll find out who it is. I'll see you tomorrow, dinner is on me. Love, Jinyoung" The note said.

You checked your phone to see a text from Jinyoung and one from an unknown number. You checked Jinyoung's text first and it was just to check up on you and ask about the shoot along with an additional apology. You sent him a quick text telling him that the shoot went well and that he needed to stop apologizing, saying that you didn't mind. You sent an extra text last minute to tell him to say hello to Jackson before checking the other text that almost made you drop your phone.

"I'm shooting with THE Lim Jaebum, are you actually kidding me?" You exclaimed as you are dinner with Jinyoung in his living room he next day. Jaebum had been your biggest inspiration/celebrity crush ever since you joined the industry. He was the biggest male star and it was next to impossible, even for you, to get a shoot with him.

"I got a call from his manager two weeks ago asking for any date that you were free on because apparently, Jaebum had been keeping an eye on you for a while and finally decided it was time to work with you" You couldn't believe what Jinyoung was saying. The shock that had set it when you read the text saying "Good evening, I am Kim Namjoon, Mr Lim Jaebum's manager and I just wanted to confirm that you are infact available to shoot on the 4th?"

The day of the actual shoot you were so nervous that you had Bambam, your close friend and fashion designer, style you. When you reached the studio, you met with the director who guided you to the changing room. You slipped into your outfit which was compromised of a black lace lingerie set along with matching stockings and garters. A sheer black wrap completed the look along with strong eye makeup.

You stepped out to be met with the cold air conditioning which made you shiver. You suddenly felt warmth enveloping you as someone placed a jacket on your shoulders. You turned behind to see Jaebum dressed in a white Valentino t-shirt, black slacks, a Gucci blazer, a Chanel belt and Louboutin dress shoes. His hair was down, his bangs covering his forehead. He looked like a million bucks and if you weren't quick enough, he would have definitely have caught you drooling.

"Pretty cold, isn't it?" He said and you dumbly nodded. Before you could embarrass yourself, you heard Jinyoung call your name and you stepped away from Jaebum and walked over to your manager. He showed you the set and finalised things with the crew before you were told to get on the bed to start the shoot.

The set had a king size bed with an intricately carved wooden headboard and emerald green sheets. The walls were a light grey and were decorated with simple sconces which gave the dull set a bit of warm yellow light. You sat at the edge of the bed waiting for Jaebum. You heard the director shout 'action' and your costar calmly walked towards you, his hands in his pockets. He placed his hand on your chin and pulled it up to make you look him in the eyes.

"You know why we have to do this right?" Jaebum said and you nodded. He let his hands slide down to your sides, running them up your arms. He told you to go ahead and you palmed him through his trousers. He hissed as you unbuckled his pants and took his already hard cock into your mouth. From the get go he controlled the pace, twisting his fingers into your hair and throat fucking you.

It was without a doubt the best shoot of your life. Jaebum was such a sweetheart on set. During breaks, he made sure to take your feedback to improve when you two got back on, when you were doing close up shots, he made sure you were comfortable with the angle and he touched you softly even when he was in character to ground you. You were about to go full fangirl on him but fortunately you had Jinyoung to keep you same.

After the shoot, Jaebum invited you to his greenroom once you got changed into normal clothes. He had already asked his manager to get you both some drinks and snacks. He ended up getting your favourite tea along with some of your favourite snacks. When you asked him how he knew what you liked, he openly told you that he had asked Jinyoung.

"I had a lot of fun today, y/n. I hope we get to work together again" Jaebum said.

"Do you say that to all your costars? Do you pamper all of them like this?" You asked and Jaebum chuckled. His eyes became thin lines as his smile grew and his beautiful laugh filled your ears.

"As a matter of fact, no I don't usually do this. You are actually the first person to get this treatment" Jaebum confessed, his eyes wavering almost as if he was nervous. You couldn't believe your ears. You had never imagined Jaebum to be shy, you'd always imagined him to be confident and smooth but this side of him made you more comfortable around him.

"Really? I don't believe it. You'd have to take me out for coffe to prove that to me" You said, winking at him. You actually had no clue if this was going to go anywhere so you decided to give it a shot yourself. If he was to reject you, it would be fine but you were not going to pass up an opportunity to go one a date with your biggest inspiration.

"You had to beat me to it, didn't you. I was just about to ask if you'd ever be free for coffee but you had ruin everything. Give me your phone so that I can give you my number first at least" He said before unlocking his own phone and passing it to you. You have him your phone and you both quickly entered in each others contact details into the respective phones. You quietly snapped a cute selfie and saved the contact.

When you got your phone back, you realised that Jaebum also had gotten a similar idea and there was a adorable picture of him as his contact image. You bid him adieu after he promised to text you because you had a long day ahead of you the next day. It was the day of the meeting to finalise the Valentine's project.

You dressed yourself in a white shirt and grey suit for the meeting. After a few hours of discussing the possible concepts, three were finalised, one that you suggested, one that Jimin suggested and one that the company wanted to make.

Speaking of Jimin, the first thing you noticed about him was his ass. It wasn't your fault, when you walked into the conference hall, Jimin was reaching across the table for a pen, leaving his ass on table for your eyes. He had a really pretty face too, with pillowy lips and soft eyes.

His sweet voice sounded as if it were laced with honey and he had an almost angelic feel to him. But as pure as Jimin looked, he was just as kinky. He was the one who suggested the more out of the box, kinky concepts. He was clearly a submissive though, and he made it clear that he would prefer not to dom.

The first shoot was of the concept he came up with which was supposed to be a simple one to ease the viewers into the mini series. It basically was that you and Jimin were a couple who just wanted to explore sexually and Jimin, who usually was the dominant one in the relationship, asked you to dominate him.

Since it was such a concept, Bambam, whom you'd requested to help you with the styling for the project, styled you with a pair of denim shorts, a crop top, fishnets and calf high boots. Underneath, you wore baby pink lingerie. Your hair and makeup was done by Bambam's boyfriend Jungkook. He curled the ends of your hair and did light makeup as it was going to get messed up once the shoot started.

The set looked like a plain bedroom with a bed with baby blue sheets and blue and while decide around the room. The director spoke to you, getting your final opinions about the angles and everything before you were asked if you were ready to begin. You nodded and Jimin stepped onto the set before the director shouted 'action'.

"Hey baby, you said you wanted to talk about something?" You asked Jimin, putting on an innocent tone and looking him in the eyes. He patted at his thigh, motioning you to sit down. You sat on said thigh with your legs between his. Taking a moment, you admired his outfit which comprised of a plain white button up, a skinny black tie and black slacks. The look, though simple, really suited Jimin's pale skin and pretty face.

"You know how we always try to experiment with new things right? I was wondering if you'd be willing to, you know.. top?" He said, trying his best to look shy. You cupped his face with one hand as you recalled the script for your next line. You placed a soft kiss on his nose before smiling.

"If you want me to, we can try. Strip and lay back on the bed for me, baby" You said and Jimin quickly scrambled to take his clothes off before settling onto the pillows. You threw your crop top off before undoing the button and zip of your shorts but left them on.

Crawling into the bed, you threw one leg overe Jimin, straddling his waist. You worked quickly to undo the buttons of Jimin's shirt and he raised his torso to let you throw it off his body. Soft fingers skimmed his taught abs as you positioned yourself over them. Leaning over, you grabbed the tie that Jimin had discarded.

You grabbed his wrists and fastened them to the headboard with the tie. Lowering yourself over Jimin, you placed a chaste kiss on his lips before diving in for a deeper one. Tounges danced as you felt the sparks go off in your head. You pulled away from his face before littering his neck with small kisses. Jimin let out a gasp as you mouthed at his nipple.

You circled the hardened bud with your wet tongue before sucking on it, going back and forth between both nipples. As per the script, you started grinding your clothed core against Jimin's midriff, making him whine. You quickly pushed off of him to take your shorts off before placing both palms flat on Jimin's chest and grinding shamelessly against his hard abs.

"Baby please don't tease" Jimin whined and you smirked at him. Pushing yourself lower, you stopped so that your core was right over his clothed erection and grinded hard. A soft moan escaped Jimin's lips as you continue your ministrations. You played with his nipples ones more, before capturing his lips in yours. The kiss was needy and hot as you pulled one moan after another from Jimin's mouth.

Jimin's pants were swiftly discarded by you after which you settled between his legs and placed small kisses along his inner thighs. Jimin squirmed under your teasing so you held him down by pushing down on his thighs. You finally gave attention to his weeping cock by rolling your tongue just around the tip, causing Jimin to gasp.

Heavy pants left Jimin's lips as you lightly gripped his length and kitten licked around the head. He struggled with his restraints but tried his best not to move. You took half his length into your mouth, bobbing your head and hollowing your cheeks around him before pulling out quickly.

"Please stop teasing me, baby" Jimin groaned as you stuffed most of his length into your mouth, past your gag reflex and worked the rest of his length that didn't fit into your mouth with your hand. You could hear Jimin's moans increasing in pitch as he neared his release and you immediately pulled away.

"Aww does my baby boy want to cum? Does he want Mommy to let his pathetic little cocklet cum?" You cooed and Jimin tried his best to blink away the tears from his denied orgasm.

"Mommy, please. Please let me cum" Jimin begged and you shifted back up Jimin's body to placed another wet kiss on his lips. You discarded your panties and made a show of ripping your fishnets around your pussy. Leaning back, you revealed your core towards Jimin and the camera man ran in to get a close up.

You sucked on one finger before letting it tease your lower lips open. Jimin could do nothing but stare as you slowly worked yourself open. The camera slowly zoomed in on your fingers thrusting and scissoring your pussy. You brought your other hand up to your mouth and sucked the tips of two fingers before bringing them down to rub your clit.

"Mommy's about to cum, baby boy. Would you like Mommy to cum around your little cock" You moaned and Jimin merely nodded. You let out a whine as you came, the camera capturing your pulsing lips. You got onto your knees and grabbed Jimin's painfully hard cock before guiding it into you.

"Your cock fills up Mommy so good, baby. But remember you're not allowed to come till it let you" You reminded Jimin as you started to bounce on his length. The camera man asked you to lean forward a but as he used to opportunity to get behind you and get a good shot of your wet pussy devouring Jimin's cock.

You chased your high as you continued lifting yourself up and thrusting down. You pulled another needy whine from Jimin and kissed him. He mumbled something about being close. You slapped him lightly across the face, making him look up at you.

"Use your words if you have to say something, slut" You gritted and Jimin nodded. He was barely able to stutter the word close before you picked up pace. A broken moan left Jimin's lips as he tried to hold back his orgasm.

"Cum for Mommy, baby boy. Fill her cunt with your cum" You said and Jimin almost immediately came, his mouth open in a silent scream. The warm feeling of cum in your pussy made you cum as well. The camera took one last shot of Jimin's softening cock falling out of your messy cunt before the director shouted "cut".

You immediately leaned over and unfastened Jimin's hands, making sure there was no bruising. Since the tie was skinny, there was a bit of a mark but nothing too bad. Jinyoung rushed to you with the usual robe and water as you got cleaned up. You checked your phone to see a text from Jaebum asking you out to go for coffee and you told him that you'd meet him at the café.

While you left the set early due to your date, Jimin lingered there for a while processing what had happened. He had put on this confident face all through the meeting and shoot but in reality, he was absolutely starstruck. You were one of the reasons Jimin got into camming in the first place. You were his biggest inspiration. When he got the email telling him that he got accepted for the Valentine's project, he legit screamed at the top of lungs in pure disbelief.

You were not only beautiful and seductive, you were also a kind and nice person. The professionalism you showed on set and in the meeting was nothing like he'd ever seen before. Usually, with all the stars he had worked with, they were all arrogant about how popular they were. You on the other hand, one of the biggest stars in the industry, were humble and down to earth. Jimin had to try very hard not to fanboy like crazy in front of you.

Jaebum was waiting for you at a table in the café when you arrived. He asked you what's your like to drink and ordered for the both of you. Hours went by as you both decided to head to a local bar for a proper drink. After two beers though, you decided to call it a night because you had a shoot and didn't want to be hungover. Jaebum drove you home and you thanked him for the fun time and asked him to text you before you got out of the car and got inside your house.

The date had been even better than you had expected. The true gentleman that Jaebum was, he made you feel so comfortable the entire time. He insisted on driving you home even when you said that you were okay catching a cab. You texted Jinyoung the moment you got home. He may have been your manager, but he was also your best friend. As soon as things hit off well with Jackson, you were the first person he talked about it to.

"How was the date?" Jinyoung asked the next day over coffee. Your shoot had gotten postponed by a day due to some scheduling issues so you had the day off and decided to spend it chilling with Jinyoung. With your hectic schedule, both of you barely got any time to hang out as just friends.

"It was absolutely amazing. Jaebum is really sweet. How's it going with Jackson?" You asked back and Jinyoung blushed. You knew that both of them had quite the active sex life with their extremely high libidos. Jinyoung didn't look like a sex freak but he totally was. Both of them were insatiable as seen by the rounds in cramped bathrooms during meetings and shoots that your have had to drag your manager out of.

"He's an absolutely sweetheart and has a massive dick. What else do I need in life" You choked on your drink, which caused Jinyoung to smirk. Your manager was something else only. He went from a total prude to a freak in a matter of seconds. Jinyoung's face suddenly lit up as if he remembered something and he pulled something out of his bag.

"I know you already have the script for the next shoot, but this is the script for the final one" He handed the file to you and you quickly looked through it. One thing stood out to you immediately. You rechecked the script a few times before turning to Jinyoung.

"There is a third person in this script and no one has been mentioned as the third actor" You noted and Jinyoung smiled. Something was going on that Jinyoung wasn't telling you about.

"The company asked for the final film to be a threesome but didn't have anyone in particular to be your costar so I recommended someone, guess who?" You finally realised what your manager was talking about.

"Did you ask him?" He nodded and showed you a text on his phone. You couldn't believe this was happening. You read through the script a few times. Whoever wrote it was a genius, you thought. You finalised the time for your next shoot and caught up on life with Jinyoung before heading home.

You arrived at the shoot ten minutes early because you knew you would take some time to get ready. Jimin was already changing by the time you got your costume. Bambam outdid himself with your outfit. It comprised of a black brallete with straps going around your torso, a black leather corset that had elastic instead of boning so that you would be comfortable, a pair of black Christian Louboutins and black crotchless panties.

Jungkook tied your hair up into a high ponytail before braiding it. Black and silver hair accessories were fitted into the braid finished the hairstyle. He also gave you a black lip and a smokey eye with you eyes tightlined with khol. By the end of it all, you looked liked a textbook dominatrix.

"Wow you look amazing. By the way, Jimin I looking for you, Mistress" Jinyoung winked as he guided you out of your change room towards Jimin's room. You wobbled a little in the heels as you hated those things and weren't used to walking in them.

"You wanted to see me?" You say as Jimin turned around from his dresser to look at you. You couldn't help but admire his outfit for a minute as he did the same. He was dressed in a leather harness that complemented his pale skin along with a pair of tight fitting black boxers and a leather collar with a big metal hoop attached to the front center.

"Yeah I just wanted to talk about for a bit but you rushed off set in a hurry last time so I was hoping you'd be free after shoot today?" He scratched the back of his neck, looking rather nervous. You couldn't help but coo at his cuteness. You told him that you'd stay after the shoot to talk before taking his hand and walking out of the room, towards the set.

The set this time was much different from the previous set. It had a dungeon theme with whips and paddles hanging off the black walls. A chain decoration covered one wall and a large black metal St Andrew's cross sat in the middle of the room.

"Stand on the cross" Jimin, who was kneeling by your feet, got up and climbed up onto the foot rests on the legs of the cross and held his arms up. You had him remove his boxers before fastened the restraints against his ankles. Getting up on the plank that connected the two foot rests across the cross and fastened his wrists in place.

The cold lube coated your fingers as you poured the cold liquid onto your hand. A single digit was pressed against Jimin's hole before being pushed in smoothly. You took your time working the man open, letting whines tumble out of his lips. Once his hole was nice and loose, you grabbed two small metal balls about the size of large marbles.

"Keep these in till I'm done with you and I'll reward you, drop them and I punish you" Jimin nodded as you pushed them past his rim, making sure than it was loose enough that the balls could easily fall out. Jimin's hole clenched around your fingers as you pulled them out. You stepped off the cross and picked up a few toys from the steel cart near the cross.

"Speak when spoken to, address me as Mistress and also keep quiet or I will gag you, understood?" You said and Jimin just nodded, causing you to chuckle. You slapped him once, making Jimin's head turn to the side.

"Yes Mistress" He gritted as you fastened a pair of nipple clamps on his already hardened buds. The clams were the normal hinge types, but had screws to tighten them and were attached together by a thick chain which added some weight to the contraption. Jimin tried his best to hold in a moan as you tightened the clamps but count help a whine escape. You gave him another slap as a warning and tugged strongly on the chain once for good measure.

Jimin's cock leaked precum as you wrapped a hand loosely around it. Giving it a few long pumps, you teased it for a bit before stepping off the cross once more. Jimin let out a confused moan as you pulled away, forcing you to pick up the black ball gag and tie it around his head.

It happened so suddenly, Jimin's mind could barely process it. You sneakily pressed a vibrator against his perineum and turned it on, massaging the skin there with it. The sudden stimulation made his hole clench and one of the balls fell out. His eyes widened as he heard the sound of the ball bouncing against the wood and rolling across the floor.

"One more to go" You said, your voice laced with lust. You turned up the vibrator, bringing it up to Jimin's balls and the base of his cock. Muffled moans escaped the boy's pretty lips as he neared his orgasm. He was jus about to cum when you turned off the vibrator and squeezed his base tightly. Tears welled in his eyes because of his denied orgasm, causing an almost evil smirk to bloom on your face.

You tugged harshly on the nipple clamps once more before moving the vibrator up to the head of his cock. Precum bubbled at the tip, which you spread around Jimin's cock using the end of the vibrator. Stroking him at a fast pace, you pushed the device header onto the sensetive tip, which made Jimin's orgasm wash over him. As he came on your hand, a loud noise interrupted his climax. The second ball fell to the floor before rolling off.

"Looks like someone's in trouble" You snickered before untying Jimin's hands and legs. You locked the wheels of the steel cart full of toys and quickly cleared the top. You gave him a moment to roll his shoulders to get some feeling back into them. Telling him to bend over the table, you grabbed a flat leather paddle off the bottom shelf of the cart.

"Count, and make sure to thank me each time" You said, pulling the ball gag out Jimin's mouth and letting it hang around his neck. A loud crack was followed by a broken moan as you started aiming well timed blows to Jimin's ass and thighs.

"Fi-fifteen, thank you Mistress" Jimin stuttered and you threw the paddle to the ground. Bending down next to the cart, you pulled out an "L" shaped double sided vibrator and eased one end of it inside your cunt before harshly thrusting the other end inside Jimin.

"You're not allowed to cum till I let you, understand" You gritted and Jimin said a weak 'Yes Mistress'. Slapping his already red ass a few times with your palms, you turned on the vibrator and started fucking him. Your pace was firm and steady, pulling out loud whines from the boys lips.

Sweat rolled off your forehead as you put your entire body weight into fucking Jimin. His pitch increased as he grew closer to his orgasm. You wrapped your hand around his weeping cock and stroked lazily. You could hear the silent sobs that left the boys lips due to the overstimulation.

"I-I'm close" Jimin whined. You gripped his cock tighter but maintained the pace, coordinating your thrusts with the strokes.

"My little slut wants to come? Then beg for it" You gritted.

"Please M-mistress, please let me c-cum, please, please, pl-please" Jimin's speach was barely coherent as you turned the vibrator up to maximum, sending both you and him over the edge. You helped him ride out his orgasm before turning the vibrator off and pulling out.

"Don't move" You told Jimin, your voice soft. Jinyoung rushed to you with your usual wet wipes and robe and you took a moment to help Jimin get cleaned up before turning Jim around and making him sit on top of the cart. The poor boy was quite tired after two strong orgasms back to back and you asked Jinyoung to get him a robe since you knew that at his level, it was rare to have a personal manager to help you out.

"Help me take him to my dressing room, he needs some rest before I'll be confident enough to send him back home" You told your manager and the both of you guided his boneless body to your room. Setting him down on one of the couches, you asked Jinyoung to go grab Jimin's clothes while you changed yourself.

"Here, drink some water" You offered Jimin who quietly grabbed the bottle and chugged it down in a matter of seconds. His chest was still heaving as you used a towel to help wipe off the sweat on his forehead. You thanked Jinyoung for the clothes and told Jimin to get dressed.

Preparing three cups of instant coffee using the kettle in your room, you gave one to Jinyoung as he was leaving the set. He still had a couple of meeting to attend to finalise things for the last shoot. The second cup you handed to Jimin before settling down into the couch next to him and sipping from the third.

"You wanted to talk?" You prompted. A good fifteen minutes had passed since you got the boy back to your room and he still hadn't uttered a word. You gave him some time to compose himself before he nodded and looked at you.

"There's nothing in particular, I just never got the opportunity to thank you for working with me on this project, it means the world to me" He said cutely. You felt a sudden urge to pinch his cheeks and coo at him as he half hid his face in the collar of his sweater.

"Well, I'm glad to be working with you. This project is always a highlight of the year and this time I am getting the opportunity to work with someone who I've always been curious about" You replied honestly. Shock was evident on Jimin's face as he processed your words.

"You, y/n y/l/n, were curious about me?" He asked.

"I'd heard a lot about you from my coworkers and I had seen some of your work before so yes, I was curious about you" The blush that coated Jimin's cheeks made him look so adorable that you could feel the butterflies in your stomach.

"I know I might be crossing some professional boundaries here, but would you mind joining me for a cup of coffee tomorrow evening?" Jimin asked. He stared at his hands as his fingertips played with the end of his sleeve. Since Jaebum and you weren't anything official yet, you didn't feel the need to say no to Jimin.

"Sure, why not?" You told him. Both of you exchanged numbers before you left. You, being the transparent person you were, let Jaebum know that you were going out for coffee with Jimin, making it clear that it wasn't anything more than hanging out for the time being and also let Jimin know that you were in fact seeing Jaebum. Neither of them minded the news which made you feel a little relieved.

The 'date' or whatever you call it was fun. Jimin was a real treat to be around, a completely different vibe as compared to Jaebum. The former was extremely submissive, which let you take the lead and make him flustered. The way Jimin blushed a bright pink at your compliments and giggled at your jokes made you feel a certain way.

That night, you got a call from Jaebum asking how the 'date' went. You told him honestly that you had a soft spot for the boy. You said in passing that it would have been nice if Jaebum liked Jimin then all three of you could have dated.

Jaebum, whom you had expected to brush off the idea away, actually found it interesting and told you that they should talk about it after the last and final shoot. And yes, the other costar that Jinyoung had recommended for the shoot was, in fact, Jaebum.

Three days later, you stepped out of your dressing room, dressed in an almost sheer, silver minidress, navy blue panties and silver high heels. You hair was straightened and the makeup was more on the galm side. You looked like you were leaving to go the club all thanks to Bambam and Jungkook.

The concept for the shoot was that Jimin and you were dating and met Jaebum at a bar and decided to call him home. Due to the nature of the concept, instead of having a studio set, the three of you were taken to one of the floors on top of the studio were they had furnished apartments for which shoots. Cameras were set up both inside and outside the door.

"Action!" The director shouted and you opened the lift door from inside. The three of you tumbled out of the lift, purposely trying to act a little drunk. Jaebum pinned Jimin against the wall next to the apartment door and kissed him while you unlocked the front door. Once you got it open, you grabbed Jimin's wrist and dragged the both of them inside.

Clothes were discarded here and there as you made you way towards the bedroom. Jaevun threw Jimin on the bed and the director asked you for a moment to readjust the lighting before he told you to continue. You kneeled on the bed and captured Jaebum's lips with yours. While his hands wandered up and down your body, you let on of your hands wander around Jimin's.

Once all three of you were naked, Jaebum told you to sit on his face. Jimin took the opportunity to settle between the older man's legs and stroke start sucking him off. Lewd sounds filled the room and Jaebum wrapped his lips aroujd your clit and Jimin wrapped his around Jaebum's cock.

Your moans were loud as Jaebum ate you out like a starved man. Gripping onto his hair, your legs shivered as you neared your orgasm. After a few well timed thrusts with his tongue, you were tipped over the edge. Jaebum quickly threaded his fingers through Jimin's hair and pulled him off before he came.

"Now what? Two cocks for babygirl?" Jaebum asked and you chuckled.

"Unfortunately, Jimin's cock is not meant for fucking. Have you ever taken a cock in you ass?" You asked Jaebum. The man looked conflicted for a moment before he shook his head.

"You interested? If yes, I'll let you fuck him and I can fuck you" You proposed. After a bit of consideration, Jaebum nodded. That man was a really good actor. He genuinely looked like he had never taken cock up his ass even though you know very well that he had.

"Here, open the boy up while I work on you, Jimin, lay down on your back" The younger man scooted up the bed and rested against the pillows as you handed Jaebum a bottle of lube. Jaebum settled between the other man's legs and you pushed him onto his kneels and elbows.

Once Jaebum started fingering Jimin, you spread the former's cheeks open and licked his hole. The camera zoomed in on you eating Jaebum's ass as he worked Jimin open. Jimin's high pitched moans and Jaebum's rough growls filled the room. Once you were done, you passed the older man a condom before moving to the nightstand to grab a strap on from the drawer.

You told Jimin to get on his hands and knees. Jaebum then slowly entered the boy, talking him time to let Jiminget used to the stretch. Once he was all the way in, you kneeled behind them and pushed Jaebum down a bit so that he was leaning over Jimin and entered him carefully.

Pulling back a bit, you allowed Jaebum to fuck himself on your cock and simultaneously fuck Jimin. The younger boy moaned uncontrollably as he was impaled over and over again by Jaebum's cock. You told Jaebum to get Jimin off and while he stroked the younger, you took the opportunity to fuck his ass harshly.

The thrusts made Jaebum go deeper inside Jimin which threw him over the edge. Jimin collapsed onto the bed and you pressed Jaebum onto his hands and knees over Jimin and fucked him till he came.

After cleaning up and getting dressed, Jaebum casually asked both you and Jimin out for a coffee and though it looked spontaneous, you knew that Jaebum was actually considering the proposition you had made a few days prior.

The three of you hit it off really well, your personalities complimenting each other's. You guys hung out together a few times before you and Jaebum finally decided to have a conversation with Jimin about entering into a polyamorous relationship and surprisingly, Jimin was quite excited about it. He confessed that he had developed a little bit of a crush on both of you and that he would love a three way relationship.

February 14th rolled around and you stepped out of your limousine onto the red carpet. You were followed by your two boyfriends along with Jinyoung and Jackson who accompanied you to the press conference. Being one of your company's most important projects, they held a press conference followed by a huge gala every year.

The press conference went smoothly, the reporters enjoying the chemistry between the three of you. A few questions were asked about Jaebum's involvement in the project and he happily thanked you for giving him the opportunity even though he clearly didn't need it at his level of popularity.

Afterwards, you guys headed for the gala where you bumped into Yoongi. He asked you to dance with him and you told Jaebum and Jimin to join you guys too. The four of you danced for a while before grabbing some drinks and settling down for dinner.

You spoke to Taehyung for a bit who thanked you for being a part of his project before the CEO of your company stepped onto the stage to make a speech.

"This year's Valentine's Day Project starring y/n y/l/n, Park Jimin and Lim Jaebum has officially become our most popular project of all time. A big thank you to the cast and crew and also to Park Jinyoung you wonderfully managed everything for us. We hope to see our wonderful stars continue to be parts of such successful project and films and reach new heights! Goodnight!"

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[ramheavenandhell]

Rick and Morty Forever and One Hundred Years – Chapter 10: What the heck!

AN: If this feels like a filler chapter to you, it's probably because it is. No really, I'm just using this to tie up some lose ends and to show a little bit of development in Rick's and Morty's relationship. So please lower your expectations and keep down your excitement. And yes, I do feel embarrassed that it took me this long to get it out (blame stupid writer's block). Warnings: Rick/Morty and some smutty (public) smut

Rick and Morty Forever and One Hundred Years – Chapter 10: What the heck! Morty ran as fast as his short legs could carry him, close on Rick's heels. They had just picked up something from the hardware store that Rick needed for the gadget that he was currently working on and on their way back to the garage they had been surprised by a sudden downpour. The brunet ducked quickly into the garage behind his friend, but the damage was already done. Both teens were drenched, small puddles forming underneath their feet from the water that was dripping off their clothes. "Gee, what's up with the weather? It was still sunny when we left. Pretty weird, right Ri—?" The words died in Morty's throat as he saw how the other teen pulled his t-shirt over his head. Letting the wet clothing drop gracelessly on the floor, the pants followed next. Heat rushed into the brunet's cheeks and even though he didn't mean to stare, he checked out his boyfriend's naked form as he stripped down to his boxer shorts. While his stature was short, Rick's frame was lean and had some muscle on it. Morty wasn't quite sure where those muscles came from since he had never seen the other work out. However, he then remembered that Rick was sometimes handling some really heavy equipment so maybe that had something to do with it. The memory of when he assisted his boyfriend with some components of the car resurfaced. Rick had been busy putting some reworked parts back into the engine compartment and Morty had thought that he could help with that. Confidently he had grabbed the car battery, but when lifting it up it weighed more than the expected 50 lbs. Whatever Rick had done to it, it was super heavy now and threatened to slip between his fingers and crash on the ground. Luckily, the other teen came to his rescue and took it off his hands before that could happen (and he knew that he would have never heard the end of it if he would have let it drop). The ease with which Rick had handled that metallic block had astounded Morty. Now that he thought about it, if the genius teen always lugged around stuff that heavy, he probably didn't need a workout program at all… "Hey, Morty! You should take your clothes off, too, or you're gonna catch a cold." The blue-haired boy ripped him out of his thoughts. His blush increased as he noticed the other's wolfish grin. Of course, Rick had caught him staring. Coming a few steps closer, his boyfriend added in a teasing tone, "Do you need my help with that?" "N-n-no. I-I'm f-fi-fine." Face changing to an even darker shade of red, Morty inched the slightest bit backwards. To his relief, Rick dropped the teasing and, albeit reluctantly, he slowly peeled the wet clothes from his own body. However, he couldn't help but feel shy about the entire situation. Sure, it wasn't like Rick hadn't seen him half-naked already, but that was before they had started dating. Also, this whole scenario was reminding him too much of a romance fanfiction that he had once read. In it, the two main characters had been surprised by a rainstorm in the middle of a forest and took shelter in an abandoned hut and they also took off their clothes and things had gotten really steamy then… And even though Rick had told him that he would take things slow, he sometimes did get a bit more handsy. They've been together for a few weeks now so he wouldn't really be surprised if the other considered that he had been waiting long enough. That thought only made Morty feel more exposed than he was. Shyly he wrapped his arms around himself, trying to cover as much of his body as he could. Of course, his antics didn't go unnoticed. "Oh come on, Morty. No need to act that way. We're all alone in here and no can see us." Those words didn't built up his confidence one bit and when Rick came closer towards him again, he felt like he wanted to hide somewhere. "And you don't have to be ashamed of your body." His boyfriend added and closed the last small distance between them. Then lips were on his and Morty wanted to melt into the kiss as he always did, but couldn't. His nerves didn't allow it. As Rick's hands wandered over his back, he only stiffened more the massaging motions failing to relax his tense muscles. Yet the other teen didn't give up and continued his stroking motions while his tongue slipped into the brunet's mouth. His body was quickly heating up even without the help of Rick's body warmth and his thoughts were tumbling, trying in vain to keep up with everything that was happening. It wasn't like he didn't want this, but he wasn't sure if he wanted it right now and right here… Rick's perfume and his natural scent were surrounding him, reminding Morty of their closeness again. Hyperaware, he noticed how the hands went lower and his eyes snapped open as they touched the waistband of his short. No, he couldn't! Quickly, he pushed the other away, bringing a small distance between them. "R-Rick, wait! I-I can't…I'm n-not ready yet…" "Huh? What do you mean?" Rick blinked at him for a moment. Then understanding dawned on his face. "Wait! You think that I want to—?! Jeez, Morty! We're not gonna do it in the garage. At least not the first time." He instantly moved away from the brunet and sat down in his swivel chair. "I don't know what rumors you've heard about me, but I have class, okay?" While Rick did sound a bit offended, he didn't look angry. Morty felt relief wash over him and his stiff body finally relaxed. "S-sorry. I just…I thought…I guess, m-my imagination ran away with me. Haha." He laughed nervously and rubbed his left arm, feeling once more embarrassed, but this time because he had been jumping to conclusions. "And then you're gonna claim that I have a one-track mind…" "I-I never said that!" "I know, I know. I was just making a joke. Chill, Morty." Rick began to unpack his purchase at the workbench and the brunet joined him, looking curiously over his shoulder. While, slowly drying off, both teens preoccupied themselves with tinkering again. However, Rick's still wet and occasionally dripping hair began to bother the genius. With an annoyed sigh, he tugged a stray strand back behind his ear. "Ugh! My hair's such a mess…" The complaint directed Morty's attention to the blue locks. Indeed, the spikes had been flattened from the wetness. "Actually, I think it doesn't look bad like this…" Daringly, he ran his hand through his boyfriend's hair, knowing very well that Rick was really picky about it and didn't just let anyone touch it. It was thick and despite the wetness still felt fluffy and the other didn't only allow him to continue, but even began to purr as he lightly scratched along the scalp. "Hmm…you really think so?" The other teen seemed to contemplate about a style change and pondered if he should try to slick his hair down a bit instead of keeping his usual spikes, which were funnily enough all natural. "Well, it's your hair, but I-I think, it suits you." Rick hummed again. "You're really starting to act your part, don't you Morty?" "Wha-what's that supposed to mean?" A blush sneaked on the brunet's face again since he knew what Rick was trying to say and his hands retreated again. "Y-you-you're acting your part pretty well yourself with going in-into protective boyfriend mode as soon a-as someone talks to me." That wasn't a lie since Morty noticed that the other tended to get easily jealous now whenever someone approached him. Even when they weren't flirting with him like Jessica had. "W-well, that's only be-because you need some protection. I-I mean, it's not l-like you're surrounded by the most reliable people anyways. And in the time I was s-skipping school, you were constantly beaten up. So, nothing wrong w-with someone looking after you, right?" The blue-haired teen was the one, who became flustered now, as he tried to defend his actions. After looking a little longer at Morty's face, he sighed. "Hey, you remember when you asked me if I put cams and mics in your house?" "Yeah…?" The brunet replied reluctantly. "Well…I might have bugged it…" "You what?! You lied to me! You said that you didn't plant any cameras or microphones!" "I never said that I didn't do that. I just said that it's a creepy creep move to do something like that." It was the truth. "Then—why did you do something like that?!" "I did it because I was worried about you!" "Worried about me?!" The boy didn't know how to take that. "Yeah. Just imagine what would happen if someone would break into your house at night. Your dad is such a coward, if he confronts the bugler, he'd probably tell him where all your money is including the combination to the safe and tell him where your and your sister's rooms are!" While Morty didn't want to think that his father would actually do that, he also couldn't deny that Rick had a point. "So, if anything happens, I'd be over there ASAP and safe your cute little ass." Rick continued with a confident smirk. The thought actually made Morty blush anew, thinking about the other coming to safe him as if he was some kind of knight in shining armor. That look somehow suited Rick. However, a sudden thought bothered him. "Wait! Did you put those cams and mics everywhere?!" He was embarrassed to think that Rick might have seen or heard when he was having his "private alone time" in the bedroom. Rick seemed to get where Morty was going with this. "Chill out, Morty. I didn't bug your room or the bathrooms. Your sister's or your parents' bedrooms are also safe. So, don't worry your little Morty head over that." Morty wasn't sure if he could trust what Rick had said, especially when he grinned at him like that, but he let it slip. He sighed. "Okay. That's good then." Rick's grin only broadened. Not knowing the truth would let Morty sleep better at night anyway.

Morty was flushing bright red as he was dragged by Rick into the school's restrooms. The blue-haired teen quickly checked if the stalls were empty before he pulled his boyfriend into one of them. Being roughly shoved into the wall of the cubicle, Morty mewled into the heated kiss that followed. It wasn't the first time that Rick did this – just pulling him into the boys' bathroom for a making out session – but he still felt that he should protest that they'll be late for their next class. Not that Rick ever cared about that before…or right now, for that matter. However, he would never understand why Rick was so insistent on doing this. Not that he didn't sometimes feel the urge to be a little more intimate with Rick. But why did he always have to drag him off to the restrooms? It only served to make Morty more embarrassed because this was such a public place. …Though, he couldn't deny that the prospect of getting caught made his stomach curl in excitement. Oh! That probably was the reason why Rick liked to do this with him in here… A muffled squeak escaped him as the other pressed closer and something hard was rubbing against his crotch. His blood tried its best to evenly divide itself between his cheeks and his lower body. With how flush Rick's body was pushing against his, it was pretty obvious to Morty what that hardness was that he could feel rubbing against him – and his own member was reacting to it, very eager to greet its counterpart. The brunet whimpered into the kiss as the other teen's hands landed on his backside and pulled him more into the movement. "R-Rick…" His boyfriend stopped humping him and released his lips, but still kept the close contact between their warm bodies. Breathlessly, Morty continued. "Rick…we re-really shouldn't…n-not right he-here…" "Oh come on, Morty." Light pecks were placed on his lips and cheeks. "There's no harm in fooling around a little bit." When the other kissed his neck and then began to suck at his pulse point, Morty official lost the discussion and gave in. Leaning his head back in order to give Rick more access, he moaned softly. "O-okay. But on-only a little bit…" If Rick hadn't reassured him before that he wouldn't go all the way with him in a place like this, he might have been more reluctant to agree. As it was though, his erection was twitching inside his pants and clearly looking forward to continue this. The blue-haired teen pulled him into the movement again as he rubbed their crotches together and Morty almost yelped. Hastily he slapped a hand over his mouth, flushing in shame as the echoing noise reminded him again that they were in a public place and people might hear him. Rick seemed fairly unbothered by that though and only grinned against the now bruised skin on his neck. When he stopped grinding again and brought some distance between their bodies, he chuckled at the disappointed sound that the brunet made. With the contact between them lost, Morty could feel the cold of the room seeping through his clothes and shuddered. Still, he waited with bated breath what his boyfriend would do now. He stared with big eyes downwards as Rick's hands fumbled with his pants. Deft fingers quickly opened button and fly and pulled his straining dick free of its confines and Morty felt so embarrassed because he was sure that Rick hadn't actually seen it the other time when they had studied for the math test. "Well, look at that. You're quite packing something for such a small kid." "Y-you—we're the same height!" Morty pointed out defensively, but still sounded flustered. "Yeah, we are~ Comes in handy, but we'll leave that for another time." The genius teen drawled and undid his own pants, pulling his erect cock out now. "Oh god!" Morty breathed as he saw the thick and long length that was actually a bit bigger than his own, completely forgetting to ask what Rick meant with his last statement. "Heh, already impressed? I haven't even started yet, baby." Rick leaned forward again until their cocks were touching and the brunet gasped. It just felt so hot and hard and oh god, the other was twitching as much as he did. Unable to help himself, Morty ground against his boyfriend's length, positively humping him. Rick allowed him this for a while, focusing back on creating a necklace of hickeys on the few space of the brunet's skin that was still unblemished. Very few spaces left indeed. However, he soon stopped that and placed his hands on Morty's hips to keep the boy from moving. The brunet whined in confusion, mind in a daze from all the pleasure. Only to moan loudly when Rick wrapped his hand around both their cocks. Clamping a hand over his mouth again, Morty watched with wide eyes and rapt attention how his boyfriend was stroking them both at the same time. It felt so good. Rick's hand around his member. And Rick's cock pressed tightly against his own. So hot and pulsing and slick with their combined precum. Morty keened. It was almost too much. Just as he was about to get lost completely in the sensations, a sudden noise ripped him out of his lustful haze. Someone had entered the bathroom. Both boys turned stock-still and listened intently. They could hear whoever had walked in entering another stall – thankfully not the one right next to theirs – and then the telltale sound of a zipper. Morty almost accidentally squeaked when the hand that was still wrapped around his dick suddenly picked up movement again. His boyfriend only grinned at him, clearly unworried that they weren't alone anymore. "Rick…please stop…" The brunet whispered frantically, afraid that with how close he was, he wouldn't be able to keep his voice in check. Rick didn't listen to him. Leaning closer to his ear, he only whispered, "Why? It's so much more fun this way." Morty couldn't agree although his traitorous cock was twitching in clear excitement. Its counterpart that was still pressed flush against it agreed in a similar manner. When Rick picked up the pace and tightened his grip, it didn't make matters any better – or better said, it made it better, which only made things harder for Morty. Both in the literal and metaphorical sense. The poor brunet tried his hardest to keep silent, his sweaty palm pressing as tightly against his lips as it could. For some reason, Rick seemed to be doing a lot better at the keeping quiet department. He had no idea how he did that. In an effort to keep control over his voice, he tried to concentrate on the other noises in the room. The decidedly unsexy noises of their unbidden guest. Eventually, it made Morty wonder how long one person could take for using the toilet. Whoever this was, he seemed to be taking forever. Honestly, the brunet was growing frantic for the guy to finish up because he was slowly coming to his own finish. Rick was just touching him so expertly, moving just in the right tempo, using just the right amount of pressure and when he pulled at the foreskin— Morty threw his head back and screamed against his hand as he came helplessly just as the toilet flushing went off, thankfully drowning out his sound. Rick was quick to follow and bit into his shoulder to keep his own voice in check. For a moment, they kept still and silent again, intently listening to the noises that the other person in the room made. Only when he left did they began to move again and started cleaning themselves up. "What the heck, Rick!" Morty nearly shouted and punched his boyfriend in the shoulder. "We almost got caught!" "Just almost though." The blue-haired teen laughed. When his boyfriend still glared at him, he stopped laughing, but still smiled. "Oh come on, Morty. Complain all you want, but I know you still liked it." Well, Morty couldn't deny that. And so, he flushed and reverted to cute pouting. This drew another laugh from his boyfriend before he gave him a peck and then dragged him out of the restroom…and off the school grounds.

AN: Next chapter will already be the last one, but don't worry, I'll try to make it a good one. Also you won't have to wait for it as long as for this chapter. Promise.

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 11

#rick and morty #ram #rnm #rick #tiny rick #morty #morty smith #au #rickmorty #rickorty #rorty #kinda public smut #restroom #hopesfanfictions #fanfic #fanfiction

[haiyuta]

live stream (m) || Felix

Summary: Finding out your new handsome neighbor is a camboy

word count: 2.7k || Genre: camboy!felix, jerking off, smut, kinda soft, 

a/n: ughhh I love Lee felix. Anyway, hope you like this took me longer than I would have liked. anyywayyy Idk how I feel about this. Can do def a part 2 thou with reader on stream lol. Update Here is part 2 

Picking up the last box of yours and you would be officially moved into your new place. The weight of what you think your pots and pans made you cringe as you got on the elevator. The heavy box making you cringe in pain. 

Before the doors closed you saw a hand shoot out before it closed stopping it from closing. "Got it," you heard a deep voice chuckle. Entering the elevator was a male. A handsome male at that. Shifting you gave an awkward nod not knowing what to do except moving over to make room for him. 

Holding the box, you elbowed your floor number 9 holding the box. He looked at the panel to see the number and didn't press it. Was going to number 9 as well? 

"It seems we are going to the same floor," he smoothly said a small grin of his face. You noted he had an accent. "Do you need some help, with that box," he asked. 

Relief filled you "please my arms are like jelly," you commented. A small grin held on his face as he took the box from your hand smoothly. The elevator dinged lifting to the floor you stepped out as he followed. 

"Thank you that's the last box," you said going through the hallways stopping at your door. 

"Its fine got to help my new neighbor right," he smirked walking alongside you. Your eyes lingered a little longer than they should. Wanting to drink in every detail of him his hair was a smooth light brown color. Falling into his face so gently while his voice deep with a smooth accent to compliment it. 

Stopping at the door you quickly grabbed your key unlocking the door. "Oh wow you live here," he said shocked at the location. 

Nodding "yeah I do," you commented back.

"Looks like were real neighbors," he said barely coming in as he placed the box near the entrance. "I live right there," he pointed two doors down and across the hall. 

"Oh well it's nice to know a friendly face," you said "I'm Y/n by the way," you introduced yourself. 

A friendly smiled raised on his lips "Well hello I'm Felix," he said giving you a handsome smile highlighting his light dusted freckles. "If you need anything just knock on my door."

Shifting on your feet you replied, "Well, thanks for the permission now I can annoy you anytime."

Felix gave a small wave "Annoy me anytime cutie," he grinned at you. Your stomach fluttered at his words. 

"Will do," you replied mulling over the word 'cutie' for more than you should. 

"Anyway, I'll see you around," he grinned backing away sending you another dazzling smile as he went to his apartment. 

"Yeah see you," you gave a short wave back. Slowly closing the door wishing you could just stare at him longer. Felix, you repeated his name over. You already knew your handsome neighbor was going to drive you crazy. 

It’s been two months since you moved into your new apartment and life slowly become back to the normal routine. Work, socializing and doing the daily routine.   The only thing that was new and rather exciting was seeing Felix. You both traded numbers and talked about random stuff. 

Laying down on your bed all you could think was about him. His winks he would send you, his wide charming smile and he was genuine. 

"He drives me crazy," you moaned to yourself thinking about him. Right now, you laid on your bed your laptop open as you browse the web trying to forget about Felix. But he kept invading your mind. His voice did things to you it was so deep and sensual. Feeling your body stir with arousal. Your mind drifted to what you would do with him. His body was long and lean, and you wondered if he had freckled anywhere else on his body. Or what he could do with those long fingers. 

Sighing you in defeat looked at your ceiling feeling your body become flush with want. Having no significant other at the moment. You did what most lonely and quite horny people did. Lifting yourself up you went to the incognito tab pressing it. Diving into the world of not so safe for word content. The stir in your system drove you to press into the darker side of the web. 

Skimming the internet, you went to the usual places. In your opinion were quite lackluster. The normal sites were so boring so fake as you scanned the website. The pop-up ads were lewd and fake. You kept up your search as you looked for the perfect site. Shaking your head in pity you did find it funny how you needed the perfect content to get off to. 

Raising an eyebrow, you scrolled to sites looking for something to watch. Hovering over the site it was called "Cams4you," raising an eyebrow you never were into live streams but maybe it would be good. You crossed your fingers hoping it didn't lead to a virus site. 

Luckily it didn't as you clicked on the link popping up on cam screen. It was an organized and clean look to the site and was organized by genre like cosplay, exercise, and just talking. Licking your lips, you went through the streams. Half-naked girls talking to the camera some of the guys were teasing the camera. Your eyes widen this did feel personal and real rather than the intense fake other stuff. Something about looking at the camera felt so real as they read your comments and donations off. 

Pausing you tilted your head at the signup page as you quickly signed up so you could join and comment in the chats. 

Browsing through the dozens of live streams you paused on a few that did stir something inside you but didn't do much. 

Sighing you were about to give up until you landed on one live stream with about 200 people watching. Your fingers slipped off your mouse pad as you saw the person in the stream. 

Eyes widen in shock you saw Felix on the screen in front of you in all his glory. Almost a second nature, you grabbed your headphone jamming them in your laptop as you heard the familiar voice. It seemed he was already 30 mins in the stream.

In the stream, he had a loose white shirt on paired with black sweat pants a seductive smirk on his face as he held the pillow. 

Your jaw slacked in shock Lee Felix your neighbor was a cam boy. Your eyes glued on the screen to watch his next move. "Am I tired," read the comment carefully and then pursed his lips up. "yeah I'm a little tired so this won't be very long," he gave a tired smile. 

The comments spammed when he answered with 'go to sleep' 'you don't have to stream for us' kind of comments. Raising an eyebrow Felix had a fanbase you thought. 

Felix was in his room it looked like. It was light and airy his camera was top quality and he was sitting in a large desk chair attractively. 

"Oh, am I okay," he said moving his neck a little and sighed "I'm fine just a lot on my mind." Smiling he gave the camera an iconic wink "you guys are always on my mind," he flirted in a whisper. His deep voice so calming. 

Without shame, you slowly slipped your hand to your lower stomach ready to tease yourself.

"No guys but honestly can I ask you guys a question," he said smoothly. He felt so fluid on the camera so comfortable. The comments section spammed with love and praise for him.  

"Would you guys be mad if I dated someone," he paused. Your heart dropped at the confession. "I don't want to disappoint to lose you guys I just don't want anyone to be mad."

Your mind whirled with why did he ask that? what was he planning? Your eyes skimmed to the chat as hearts went out to him most saying "date who you want" "we support you" while a minority said they would feel sad but happy he was dating. 

"Hm you guys are so understanding," a lazy smirk was on his face. A dreamy look crossed his face "I've been scared to tell this person since I have the chats blessing, I might go and do it and ask them out." 

You felt your stomach drop a little but didn't faze you much. The stream went on for another 10 mins of just chatting until a donation popped up on the screen. With a sexual act attached to it. 

"Hm you want to see a kitten stream," Felix said his voice deep as ever as he rolled his eyes over in thinking. "I would be a pretty kitty wouldn't I," he teased. 

"With little cat ears," he grinned. Back his chair up to show his bottoms more. Leaning over he read another comment. "If you're tired you should pleasure yourself, you'll go to sleep better," he read out slowly. His deep brown eyes gave the camera a look you shivered knowing you've seen those beautiful eyes in person. Feeling proud at that fact.

Leaning on his chair he gave another lazy look at the camera. His fingers finding their way up his shirt revealing his slim waist. Your fingers delicately found their way past your shorts. Eyes glued to the screen you felt your slit through the fabric. 

Felix gazed at the camera biting his lip as he ran his fingers down his smooth chest. "I'm so lazy you guys," he laughed at himself as he rested his head back. The comments cheered him on talking about how he should 'take off his shirt' or how he should tease himself. 

He showed off his slim waist as he smoothed over his skin. A cocky smile lit his lips as he showed off his body. It was sensual as he played with his body. 

Reaching down to his sweatpants he palmed himself. His large hand grinding into his own hand. "Fuck I hate teasing," he cursed but knew this was for the fans they needed to see this teasing. They lusted after him. You shamefully did as well as your fingers moved on their own teasing you as well. 

As you tried to be in sync as best as possible. The lewd act of watching someone who was doors down from you made it even hotter. The chat was going egging him on telling him how attractive he looked and such. 

Eyeing Felix once again he ground harder on himself lifting his hips slightly in need. "I'm so hard," his smooth accent made the word hard to come out in a cuter way than needed. 

Licking his lips, he adjusted himself so the camera got a good look at his body and his face. His dirty talk was superior as he glanced at the camera another lazy grin lit his face. "I wish someone's warm mouth would be around me," he groaned. 

Biting your lip your inner self wish that person could be you. The comments said something like 'If I was there, I would do anything for you'. You were so close to him an easy knock at his door and you would shamelessly beg for him. 

Your mind whirled with pleasure you felt your panties already moist from your tentative touches. 

Felix knew how to play the camera as he mumbled attractive dirty words of encouragement. "Just thinking about my beauties touching themselves," he bites his lip as his hand massaged himself. The personal words hit your heart knowing that you were doing exactly as he expected. 

"Touching yourself watch me get off," he stuck his tongue out with a tease. That tongue you wanted to taste so bad. 

He moved to pull his sweatpants down revealing some dark boxer briefs. The outline of his cock made you just want to reach out and touch it. You knew you couldn't. You felt your fingers slip past your panties as you reached your core. 

His movements were causal as he pulled out his cock. It was red and smooth looking as he gripped it. Biting his lip he threw back his head with want as he pumped himself. You watched closely as your neighbor did slow to fast pumps. 

You let out an audible whine as you watched him. Feeling yourself clench with just wanting him in you. 

Pumping himself more you didn't want to take your eyes away as he let out a deep groan. A deep "fuck," came out of him 

His head was deep red, and he looked close to ready for release.  Spreading your legs wider as you hit different angles. Shivering with want you to watch him as he slowly thrust into his hand, his hips lifted as he went deeper. 

The visual of seeing him get off his deep groans made you whine with want as you came on your fingers. "Hm Felix," you moaned his name.

Felix smirked as he let himself go. He gripped himself harshly as white ropes left him. His orgasm was so beautiful to see. He stopped for a moment glancing at the chat. "Hm so pretty Felix," he hummed out a thank you for the comment and donations. Sitting up he looked at his hand as he grabbed to clean away the mess. 

"Hm I'm sorry this wasn't as good," he mumbled a small smile lit his face. "I'll do a theme next time maybe kitten like the other comment said."

You glanced at the site noting the name making sure you remembered it to watch it again.

Sighing you shut your laptop in shame putting it next to your bed. You really just pleasured yourself to someone you know. You had his phone number right now you can call him at any moment, and he'll be right over. 

Laying your head back closing your eyes "I'm so whipped for this boy," you thought to yourself falling into sleep.

Waking up the next day you sighed it was bright out already you thought. Blinking away you thought about last night a blush rose to your face. You really did that. 

With some bit of shame, you dragged yourself out of bed as you got ready for the day. It was Saturday so nothing new was for today. Laundry, shopping, and resting was the normal agenda. 

Your thoughts lingered about Felix thinking about how he was a cam boy. He seemed to like it and knew how to play the camera. And with just that stream he made over 200 dollars from donations and such. 

Grabbing a bowl, you poured some cereal in thinking about him. Would you be able to face him knowing you literally pleasured yourself to his stream? 

A sudden knock at the door made your leap in fear but you rolled your eyes it was probably just the next-door lady asking about if you see her cat. 

Opening the door with the bowl in your hand. Revealing it was the man himself Felix at your door. Shocked at his appearance you stared at the good-looking cam boy.

"Um Hi," you said brightly looking down at the cereal and back at him. "Um cereal," you offered with a grin. 

Felix raised an eyebrow but smiled. "No thank you," he laughed lightly. 

Nodding you put the cereal down on the side table "what do I owe this honor of Lee Felix to come to my door today," you tried to keep it casual. Trying to avoid looking past his shoulder knowing what laid under it. 

"I actually wanted to," he paused rubbing his neck lightly. "wanted to know if you wanted to get coffee or some food later," he asked quickly. He looked quite embarrassed. 

Your mind froze was he asking you out. Your mind put it full circle. The person he wanted to ask out on his stream last night was you. 

"Like a date," you asked buzzing with excitement.

Felix grinned "yeah like a date," he said. 

Smiling you nodded "I would love to get coffee with you." 

He put his hand over his heart dramatically "oh my thank you," he breathed a sigh of relief. 

Smiling you grinned "thank you for asking me," you replied. 

"I'll see you on our date cutie," he winked.

"I can't wait,” you winked back closing your door. Sighing you closed the door feeling your heart flutter with happiness. You were going on a date with Lee Felix.

#kpop smut #kpop scenarios #stray kids scenarios #stray kids smut #skz #skz smut

[pinkbubbles-and-bigtroubles]

If These Walls Could Talk (Girls Talk Boys Part 34)

Some things are meant to be secret and not to be heard So if I tell you, just keep it and don't say a word Yeah, when the doors are all closing, it's bound to get loud 'Cause all these bodies are hoping to get addicted to sound

If these walls could talk, I'd hope they wouldn't say anything Because they've seen way too many things 'Cause we'd fall from grace, we're falling

New to this series click HERE

Camille and hurried down to the security gate with Luke in tow, as she'd insisted Calum stay behind. 

"Babe, I promise he won't hurt me, but we're probably going to argue and you get so protective," Camille insisted.

"That's not a bad thing," Calum protested but he could tell Camille had made up her mind and she could be incredibly stubborn when that happened. 

"Fine," he sighed, "Can you at least take Luke?"

Camille spotted Benji sitting on a bench outside the security gate, and everything about him repulsed her. Not that he was ugly or gross. He was average height and a bit pudgy with a tan complexion that was a bit darker than Calum, jet black hair and light brown eyes. He was a preening peacock, full of himself and always impeccably  well dressed and groomed. Even Camille had to admit he was decent looking. 

Just then he caught sight of her and scowled before catching himself and plastered a huge fake smile across his face.

"Camille, sweetheart, it's been too long since I've seen you," Benji called out. 

"What are you doing here?" Camille tried to sound light and friendly to keep the situation calm.

"I've come to find my wife," he smirked. "She disappeared almost a year ago and then suddenly she sends me papers that I'm just supposed to sign without even talking to her?" 

"So you drive across the country for a chat?" Camille wasn't buying that at all 

"I didn't come all this way to talk to you," Benji's tone turned condescending. "I want to talk to my wife or I don't sign the divorce papers. I can wait here all day."

"Okay, okay," Camille tried not to sound as annoyed as she felt. "Cher isn't even home right now and I don't know when she's coming home today."

"Text her, I can wait," Benji's smile was slipping. He didn't like Camille anymore than she did him.

"We both know Cher is terrible about checking her messages. She might not respond for hours, and then you're just hanging out in guest parking? No, no, no, besides she reacts poorly to surprises. Let me talk to her and she'll contact you," Camille was pleading with him now. She knew Cher and Ashton could drive up at any moment, and that she would freak out if she saw Benjamin. 

"You're not wrong, but I don't trust you two. After all, you ran away from your problems just like she did. You left Shaun stuck with the lease and all the bills. He's doing better now, by the way. He's with Melanie now, which I think is a huge upgrade, no offense," Benji was trying to goad Camille into losing her temper. 

Camille felt a surge of rage the mention of her ex boyfriend's name, the man who had done so much to tear down her self esteem. Melanie was one of the girls he'd cheated on her with, and Shaun had always blamed Camille for his infidelities. Comparing her to other women, criticizing everything about her, but Camille stopped herself. None of that mattered right now. Shaun couldn't hurt her anymore and she knew she'd upgraded more than her ex ever could. Camille smiled thinking about Calum before returning her attention to Benji. 

"You can't just wait here," Camille was serious.

"I'm not leaving until I see Cher," so was Benji.

"How about a compromise?" Luke had come up behind her startling Camille when he spoke.

"Who are you?" Benji was polite but guarded.

"My name is Luke," he gave Benji a friendly smile but stood up very straight. Camille almost giggled as the boots caused Luke to tower over the other man. "We're having our annual open house and neighborhood picnic tomorrow. Why don't you come by, Dale will let you in and you can come have a drink and we'll sort this out." 

Benji saw the incredulous look Camille gave Luke and nodded walking over to where Dale was waving a clipboard with a list at him. Luke ignored Camille's glare and the elbow she poked into his ribs. Luke could tell these two weren't going to come to an agreement, and Luke didn't want to stand here all day. Besides anything that would postpone a huge argument was fine by him. They needed to form a plan and both Camille and Cher had to answer some questions if they were going to work together to solve this. Luke watched Benji walk past Camille smug in the idea he'd gotten one over on her. 

Camille opened her mouth to say something and Luke squeezed her shoulder and shook his head mouthing, "let it go."

When Benji drove out of sight Camille spun on him, "what the hell Hemmings?" 

"Ashton is on his way home and unless you want them to drive up and everything goes to shit I had to get rid of him," Luke's face was serious. 

"You could've run it by me first," Camille grumbled. 

"That guy is an asshole. He wasn't going to agree to anything you wanted," Luke rolled his eyes. "So I some questions," he put his hands on his hips shaking his head, but Camille saw a tiny smile.

"Let's head back Peanut," Camille linked arms him. "I'll explain it all at once." 

Camille called Cody and he came over barely beating Cher and Ashton by fifteen minutes and Camille texted Cher. 

Just so you know Luke and Cody are here

That was a standard warning as there was no telling what those two were getting up to and both Camille and Cher had accidentally caught the other having sex.

Cher pulled her underwear back up before getting out of the car. She knew something was up the second she walked in the door. The room was vibrating with tension and everyone was staring at her. 

"What's going on?" Cher looked at Camille getting scared at how nervous she looked.

Camille stuttered and stammered unable to properly form words all of a sudden.

Calum walked up and handed her a shot of whiskey, "Benji showed up, he'll be here tomorrow." 

Cher grabbed the shot, downed it, and nodded at Cal. "Good man," she nodded him. "Okay so what the fuck?" 

"Who's Benji?" Ashton asked, completely confused.

Cher looked at Camille in a panic, "I can't do this right now. I'm not ready, I can't..." She started hyperventilating.

"Okay okay Cody," Cam jerked her head towards the stairs. "You take care of our girl and I'll explain what's going on to the guys." 

Cody nodded and grabbed the bottle Calum held out and headed up the stairs with his arm wrapped around Cher's shoulders. 

Camille found herself facing Luke, Calum, and Ashton all waiting for answers. 

Luke handed her a glass of wine and Camille say in her chair. Calum took his seat on the arm of her chair with the other two on the couch.

"Is Benji her ex husband?" Ashton guessed.

"Not exactly ex yet," Camille replied.

"She's not divorced yet?" Calum asked.

"No..."

"She just sent him divorce papers. That's why he's here," Luke cut in, piecing together all the bits he'd heard from Camille's earlier confrontation 

"Yeah it seems like," Camille took another sip.

"This whole time she's been married," Ashton shook his head.

"Separated," Camille tried to do damage control.

Ashton sank back into the couch, lost in thought.

"So what's the big deal," Calum asked. "This guy must be a real asshole." 

"That's obvious, but you know Cher hates being surprised. Especially shit like this," Luke told Calum.

"Is this why she's so weird about relationships?" Calum asked.

"Part of it, Cher never intended to get married, ever, but then Benji talked her into it at a time when she'd really hit rock bottom."

"Talked her into it?" Luke asked. "So she wasn't in love with him."

"Oh GOD no," Camille exclaimed as she got up and began pacing back and forth. "They worked together, well actually we all did, and Benji was here on a student visa. When he dropped out of school to become a sales rep for one of our vendors, his visa got fucked up, and he was facing the threat of getting sent back. Cher was in a really bad place at the time. She was dating this guy Xavier and it wasn't serious at all. However one night he got fucked up, on what? no one is exactly sure, but he broke into her apartment and fucking TRASHED the place. He punched holes in the drywall, kicked the bathtub faucet out, threw every bit of food out of the refrigerator and cabinets and into the living room before grinding it into the carpet. It was a disaster, when we walked in after it was over the first thing I smelled was the maple syrup he poured onto the couch, followed quickly by the smell of blood from the family size pack of ground beef he'd slung everywhere. There were even chunks of hamburger clinging to the popcorn ceiling. Eggs, sugar, cooking oil, shrimp fried rice, it was disgusting," Camille shuddered and Calum started to get up but she shook her head and kept going. "Cher was at work when this was all happening. She had no idea anything was going on until the police show up at her job because Xavier had been arrested after crashing her car. Apparently he found her spare set of keys in her apartment and no one noticed the sketchy little shit in the parking lot."

Camille finished her wine and Luke refilled her glass while she nervously fixed her ponytail.  Calum was now in Camille's chair leaning forward, listening intently. Luke hung on every word while Ashton sat with his head in his hands trying to take it all in. 

"So where does the getting married part come in," Luke prodded her to keep going.

Camille sighed, "Benji straight up offered marriage as a business proposal. If she'd marry him to help him stay in the country he would pay the cleaning bill her landlord stuck on her, buy her a new used car, and get her back on her feet. It was supposed to be just friends conducting a business transaction." 

Ashton leaned back and looked up at Camille and she noticed he looked less angry than before. 

She took a deep breath and continued, "the first few months were fine. They got along, went out to dinner once a week, and eventually they hooked up. Turns out that was a big mistake, he has a mediocre dick, and this is when he started acting weird. Suddenly he's acting like they are married for real and starts trying to tell her who she can't talk to, and trying to cut off all contact with all of her male friends, most of them are industry guys and her contact is work related, so instantly she was pissed. They start arguing more and more, he's trying to use his money against her but what he doesn't know is she's starting to make money off of Vexxed. However, Cher is not a self absorbed materialistic little fuckwit like he is. So his posturing about all the shit he could buy her, didn't impress her at all.   That was when he was sober, drunk Benji is a mean little cunt." 

Calum watched her get more and more outraged, more worked up and as much as he felt bad for Cher the moment he couldn't help but think Camille was so fucking sexy right now.

"He started calling Cher when he was drunk, starts talking crap  why was she even talking to these guys who didn't have money like him. He called her a whore, a slut, white trash, and said she was too ignorant to appreciate how great he was and basically being an insufferable arrogant abusive asshole. He and Shaun, my ex, teamed up trying to keep Cher and I from getting to talk or see each other. Our boss kept scheduling us together on the weekends and between the three of us we came up with a plan. I slowly got my stuff out of his house, Cher packed up her belongings under the pretense of her lease being terminated and our boss stored some things of ours in a storage unit. Finally, Benji had a work visa, and my aunt helped me buy this place. I picked a fight with Shaun knowing he'd pack up all my shit and tell me to leave, and so we did."

"Damn that's crazy," Calum shook his head taking it all in. "Okay, I have questions."

Ashton stood up abruptly and they all looked at him. He rubbed his temples and ran his fingers through his hair.

"Please just tell me what we need to do to get rid of this asshole. Why is he even here? How did he find you?" he asked.

"She's got a licensing deal in the works that will set her up quite nicely, Cher doesn't want Benji to have any claim to anything Vexxed including that money and the new characters she's going to copyright. California is a community property state, he could technically get half. Not only that she promised him a year and it's been longer than that. It's time for a divorce, he needs to sign those papers." Calum pulled Camille into his lap as she sat down 

"Can she get a divorce if he doesn't?" Camille could see the wheels turning in Ashton's head.

"The lawyer says it will take a bit longer, especially if he counter sues," she replied.

"So everybody just needs to play nice tomorrow?" Luke got up, stretching his long legs while he looked down at Camille.

"Try and keep him distracted and hopefully we won't drink too much. I'm gonna give Cher a Valium and see if I can keep her from losing it." 

Cher was hitting her vape pen when Camille stuck her head in the door to tell her it was showtime. Cody had convinced her to talk to Benji so maybe they could get this over with. Everybody was being so supportive and positive Cher didn't feel like she could back out, but deep down she knew this man was just here to start shit. 

She'd passed out on Camille's bed somewhere after shot number seven. She'd woken up before dawn and taken a quick shower before sneaking over to Ashton's and waking him up with a blowjob. As nervous as Cher was she couldn't help but smile at the lingering soreness of her ass. She'd been sassy and Daddy had to punish her. 

Following Camille out towards the pool she spotted Cal talking to Harry and Benji so she headed to the other side to grab a beer. Luke saw her coming and fished one out of the cooler for her. He was talking to Tom and Lucy, filling them it on the divorce drama. Lucy gave Cher a big hug and smacked Camille on the ass the way she always did. That got the guys attention and Benji spotted Cher. He made his way over to their little group flanked by Calum and Harry.

"My sweet wife, I'm so glad to see you're looking healthy," Benji's smile did not reach his eyes and everyone could feel the tension.

Cher glanced at his tummy pudge, "I'm glad you're in good health as well. I'm surprised you traveled all this way just to chat with me." Her voice sounded strange in her own ears. 

"Couldn't just sign away what we had without discussing it first," Benji's tone of voice was giving her the creeps. Cher saw him glance behind her and his eyes almost popped out of his head. A couple of Lucy's friends had arrived and were peeling off their cover-ups to cool off in the pool.

He turned to Calum, "you have girls that look like that around here? You are a lucky man. I bet you get an eyeful all the time," he turned back to Cher "must be hard living here around some really hot girls." 

Harry intervened before it got any worse, he threw an arm around Benji's shoulder leaning in with a laugh, "oh, you wanna talk hot girls lemme tell you about this redhead I met in Belgium," as he led him away. 

Calum looked disgusted as Cher handed him a drink, "dude fuck that guy, what a prick." 

Luke looked at Camille, "wanna take bets on who hits him first?"

@kiiiimberlyriiiicker1995 @wildhearthood @cal-pal-cuddles @rosettesofhappiness @5sos-ficssmut @unabashedlymyself

#calum hood #calum 5sos #girls talk boys #calum hood fanfic #calum hood imagine #calum hood smut #ashton irwin #ashton irwin imagines #ashton 5sos #ashton irwin smut #luke hemmings #luke 5sos #michael clifford #michael 5sos #Harry Styles #tom holland #5sos fanfic #5sos imagine

[thecauldroncake]

Becca's Veggies (A Bucky Barnes Oneshot)

Fandom: Marvel's The Avengers

Pairing/s: Dad!Bucky Barnes x Reader

Warning/s: Mentions of sexy times but no sexy scenes at all. Prolly grammatical/spelling errors.

Word Count: 1106

A/N: Posting this oneshot in celebration of my favorite Avenger, Sgt. James Buchanan Barnes! Hope yall like it!

***

It’s been going well, too well for your liking.

Becca immediately started finishing her veggies for about three weeks straight already when Bucky is around to feed her and to say you aren’t curious how he does it is a freakin’ lie, a huge one at that. So what did you do? You set up a hidden cam just above the refrigerator that overlooks the dining table where you all eat. You wanted to know how come Bucky can do it and you can’t. Besides, the fact that a certain metal-armed man is getting smug by that feat of his is already bothering you too much.

But voila! Apparently that smug husband of yours is a part of a conspiracy!

Upon checking the video caught by the camera when Bucky and Becca went for the playground (just a few blocks from your little Brooklyn home), you promising to follow them after cleaning the dishes, you caught the older Barnes eat Becca’s vegetables (which are brocollis, by the way) meanwhile your small ray of sunshine got two pancakes from Bucky’s tower of pancake.

You’re not mad at either of them, if anything, you might’ve expected it, especially with Bucky’s shit-eating grin anytime you serve Becca with vegetables. You hated being the bad cop most of the time in the eyes of Becca but she also gotta learn how to eat nutritiously, so now you need to device a plan which (a) makes Becca eat her veggies, that (b) not having you as the bad cop by doing the first one, meanwhile (c) having Bucky learn his lessons well.

***

“Bucky! Becca! Dinner time!” You called them from the kitchen as the two were watching cartoons in Becca’s room. You heard two pairs of feet walking towards you and abruptly stopping.

“Veggies, mommy?” You heard your five years old angel say, already imagining the pout on her lips by the sound of her voice.

“Yes, baby. You’ve been eating too well, I thought you might want more.” You turn around to face them then put the plates on the table. You saw Bucky crouched down for his eyes to meet Becca’s.

“Our princess could do that, right?”

You heard a small giggle before Becca answered, “Yes!”

While Bucky set Becca on her chair, Bucky looked back at you, “Umm, doll?”

“Yes, babe?”

“Can you call Wanda first, ask her if there’s any news about my last mission?” This is where it all started, meanwhile having this as a part of your plan, you obliged.

“Sure thing, love.” You passed by him not forgetting to press your lips on his cheek and the same thing you did to Becca, only this time it’s on her forehead.

***

The moment you arrived at Bucky’s office, you check on your phone where a live-feed of your hidden cam is being sent. Of course they did it again, Bucky apparently bought her some takeouts while they’re out in the park knowing you’ll cook vegetables for Becca, and exchange that to Becca’s veggies.

After checking on the live-feed though, you went for your and Bucky’s room and change your outfit. You took one of Bucky’s favorite Henley shirts and that blue lingerie you bought with him, which almost made him do you right there at the fitting room. You put on the lingerie and over it is his shirt, it’s a good thing that it reaches below your knees and it wouldn’t look so scandalous even with Becca there. Sergeant Barnes better be ready for his punishment.

***

“Look mommy!” Becca’s grin is dazzling as she shows you her plate and it is something you always wish to see, but you really hope she does what you asks her to do.

“Very good, baby! Now, let momma bring you back upstairs so you can watch your cartoon in your room, okay?” She is ecstatic as you help her down her chair meanwhile you put her down and grab her plate, putting it in the sink, then led your daughter back to her room.

You already noticed Bucky’s surprised reaction the first time you step foot in the kitchen after doing what he asked you to do, but you still nonchalantly sat back next to him and help yourself with your food.

“Like what you see, Sarge?” you teased.

“What’s underneath my shirt, baby doll? I wouldn’t mind if there’s nothing–”

“Of course you won’t, but remember that lingerie–”

“Oh god, that sinful piece of clothing?” His mind immediately picked up what you’re talking about while his eyes are slowly getting darker by the second your talk is getting longer.

“Yes, Sarge. Remember it?” You felt his metal arm on your thigh and you know you might not be able to make your revenge if you don’t intervene, so you swat his hand off of your thigh.

“Lemme play hard to get, Sarge.” You bat your eyelashes at him.

“What do ya want me to do, baby.” His voice getting an octave lower than before, his lips grazing your eyes while his breath fanning your side.

“Make Becca eat her veggies, sweetheart.”

“Oh doll, I just–”

“I know your secret, Sergeant.” You look at him in a challenging manner, your arms are crossed in front of your chest.

His eyes widened upon realization and you took that as your cue to lean closer to one side of his neck. “No sex until you get her to eat her veggies, sweetheart. I’m watching ya.” He then felt your warm lips on his neck, you leaving him a soft kiss, before standing up and leaving with your food and went to the living room.

The next thing you heard is Bucky running for the stairs and bursting to Becca’s door.

“Becca, princess, maybe it’s time for you to actually eat your veggies?” The pleading tone your husband has made you snort.

“No!” But that yell from Becca made you laugh out loud.

“Doll, please help me here?!” Bucky was back at the stairs looking down at you who’s in the living room.

“You made that problem, Buck. You gotta make the solution yourself!” You replied in a sing-song manner.

Let’s just say that it took sometime before Bucky get Becca to really start eating her vegetables, but to you and Bucky, it made your first sex after this whole “Make Becca eat her veggies” thing worth the wait.

#bucky barnes #bucky barnes fluff #bucky barnes x yn #bucky barnes x reader #bucky imagine #bucky x reader #bucky barns imagine

[hoffkk]

A Little Black Lie

Deception Drabble

Kay x Jonathan (on kaymeron)

Requested by: Anonymous

Quote requested: “what did you break?”

********

“What did you break?” Kay asked as she crossed her arms and gave Jonathan a hard look. She had just walked back to her to desk in the bull pen to find him leaning against it and fidgeting nervously with his coin (the give away it was Johnny) as he tossed out a cheesy compliment. “And please tell me it wasn’t the law.”

“What? Can’t a guy just give a compliment without any underlying motive?” Johnny asked innocently.

“No.” She retorted instantly with a light smirk before moving around him to place a file in her desk drawer.

“Fair enough.” He replied with a nod. After a moment, he added. “For the record, I’ve been a perfect law abiding citizen.”

“So, why exactly are you here then?” Kay questioned. “I thought a newly freed man like yourself would be avoiding big government buildings and law enforcement professionals.”

“I would be, but one kind of saved my life, and I thought they deserved a proper thank you.” Johnny told her.

“And I’ll be sure to let Mike know how much you appreciate him.” Kay winked.

Jonathan smirked at that and responded, “You do that.”

Kay began to organize her desk a bit as Johnny lingered and toyed with his coin. His nerves were coming out again, making her curious.

“Was there something else?” She wondered aloud as she sat down in her leather chair.

“Sort of... yes.” He replied in an apprehensive tone. Taking a deep breath, he figured it was best to just come out with it. “I lied to you.”

“About what?” Kay probed, waiting for an explanation before she let herself get upset.

“Do you remember when Cam was kidnapped by the mystery woman and you got me out of prison to help rescue him?” He began cautiously.

“Yes...” Kay replied, drawing the word out slowly.

“Well, you made a comment about how your relationship with my brother was totally professional.” He reminded her.

“Yes, and you said you knew that and then proceed to tell me I wasn’t his type.” She nodded, recalling the memory.

“Yeah...” Johnny nodded, cleared his throat noisily, then said, “that was the lie.”

“What?” Kay queried, at a loss for words.

“The truth is... you are definitely Cam’s type. Smart, strong, beautiful... you even have the darker complexion he prefers in women. I just didn’t want you to know that.” Johnny revealed.

“I...why?” Kay sputtered out, still processing his admission.

“It was selfish really.” He told her honestly. “I wanted my freedom to be the priority, and I figured if you two got involved, it would get in the way and make things even more complicated. So, I told you he wasn’t interested to derail your feelings for him. “

“I didn’t have feelings for Cameron.” She quickly corrected. “Not then and not now.”

“Yes, you did.” He corrected right back. “And, you still do. But don’t worry he’s got it just as bad.”

“Excuse me?” Kay questioned in disbelief.

“It’s pretty obvious.” Johnny went on. “Neither of you are exactly subtle about it... with the lingering smiles and longing looks. The team even has a pool going on when you’ll get together.”

“What?!” Kay asked exasperatedly.

Jonathan ignored her and continued, “but when my case was solved and I got out of prison, you guys didn't get together. You drifted apart... and now he’s worried about losing you. I told him to man up and just ask you out, but he’s too stubborn and scared. So, now I’m here, talking to you.”

“All right, hold up a minute,” Kay interrupted, pressing her hands on her desk and rising to her feet. “Let’s just say, for argument’s sake, you are right about me and Cameron and our supposed feelings for each other. What do you expect me to do about it?”

He just shrugged and said, “Put the poor guy out of his misery and make the first move... because if one of you guys can’t get over yourself and admit the truth, then you are going to miss out on something great.”

Kay stared at him for a long moment then replied, “What makes you so sure?”

Lifting his gold coin up for her to see, Jonathan used his sleight of hand skills to make it disappear then whispered, “magic.”

Kay just quirked a brow and crossed her arms in response, waiting for him to explain. So he did.

“Some people have it together, some people don’t. You and Cam? You two definitely have it...” Johnny told her then made his lucky coin reappear and set it on the edge of her desk as he added, “and it would be a shame to let it go to waste.”

With that, he gave her a little nod and made himself “disappear,” leaving Kay to make one of the most important decisions of her life.

********

A day later, the decision was made.

A week later, Jonathan won the pool.

#deception #kaymeron #kay loves cameron #kay daniels #jonathan black #friendly advice #deception abc #deception fanfiction

[wellscanthemback]

MERWeek2018 Day 2: Pictures and Moments

Pairing: Female Shepard & Admiral David Anderson

Timeline: Mass Effect 3 [with Universe Alterations]

Notes: Day 2 for MERWeek2018: Mostly from Anderson’s POV. There is no way my Jane would not send him a vid-chat or bombard his Omni-tool with photos. Afterall, Anderson was always sending her embarrassing childhood photos and vids of herself during her venture against Saren back from when they lived together for a short period before briefly returning to the streets before she was old enough to join the Alliance.

--In my personal canon, [War Hero] Jane Shepard is Earth 'raised’  and is the younger twin of [Ruthless] John Shepard is Space ’raised’ as is their younger half-sister [Sole-Survivor] Cryda (cree-da) Shepard who was raised mostly as a Colonist though all were Spaceborn. Hannah Shepard is their Mother. Admiral Hackett is the Father of the twins (I’ll divulge that later).

-Jane is my canon Shepard.

He was exhausted. Earth was exhausted. How many had they saved compared to what was lost? The Reapers were overwhelming them faster than they could count the days.

He often wondered what would have happened if he had left Earth with the Commander. After their briefing before he decided to give her his Citadel apartment, after being kicked in the ass by Cerberus, she had gone downhill fast. He’d received a report from Joker or at least he thought it was Joker. Something was kicking him in the ass that said it wasn’t Joker’s report, though this one he had received faster than the speed of light, surprisingly fast considering their last was received two months after it was sent. His worst fears confirmed as he read Shepard’s mental health was deteriorating due to the amount of stress this war had put her under and according to a medical report attached she showing signs of deep depression and PTSD to the point it was affecting her physical and mental health more than ever.

“Admiral Anderson!” The shout of his name broke him out of his thoughts.  He looked up to see the young soldier entering the room.

 “What is it, lieutenant?” He called over and the man looked up.

 “A message from the citadel, sir!” He explained as he hovered his Omni-tool over to Anderson who received the message.

 It was always a relief to receive a message from familiars, or at least he hoped it was a familiar. “Who from?”

 “Commander Shepard I believe, Sir. It has attachments.” The young man explained with bright eyes. The same bright eyes heard from anyone who hears about Commander Shepard. Anderson felt his stomach do a kick and flip. As his eyes quickly snapped to his own Omni-tool.

 “Dammit, I hope she hasn’t gotten herself into trouble again.” He cursed quietly but loud enough for the Lieutenant to hear, he looked up, “If you ever meet the Commander, you’ll understand.”

 “Sir?” The poor man was confused now.

 “Remind me to tell you about her first reconnaissance mission.” He said playfully, chuckling t the memory. Then he cleared his throat, “Dismissed.”

 “Admiral.” The man saluted and left, though disappointed at the lack of information. As Anderson sat down and waited for complete silence in the room before opening up the vid and he was greeted by static. Shit! Dammit! Come on work!

 “Alright everyone, let me talk!” He chuckled as Shepard’s voice cut through the static and the picture appeared and he was greeted in surprise by Jane Shepard smiling happily, compared to her weary state on the Citadel Apartment complex over the vid-com, “Hey, Anderson. I hope you’re still kicking ass down there!”

 Joker’s voice cut through from the behind her, “hey, that’s my line!”

 “Your point?” came the Commander’s cocky reply.

 Joker grumbled something unintelligible as everyone laughed. A female voice reached his ears, “Jeff, behave.” It wasn’t a voice he recognised. Anderson could recognise the Quarian Tali’Zorrah and the Turian Garrus Vakarian. Kaidan and Joker were there, along with Steve Cortez and James Vega. Samantha Taylor, the Asari Dr Liara Tsoni, there was another Asari, an Asari Justicar, he recalled, Samara, was there as well.

Some were heard but out of earshot. “Just wanted to thank you again for the apartment, Joker suggested a party and luckily, so far, things haven’t gotten out of hand. Keeping Grunt and Wrex under control is simply the main task in not breaking anything.”

 There was another woman on the screen, Miranda Lawson, former Cerberus he believed he was told, another man with dark skin appeared beside her, Jacob Taylor, also former Cerberus. Both were grinning at Shepard. The heavily tattooed woman was Jack, she was working with Kahlee at the Grissom Academy was also smiling at her. He spied the two Krogan in the back, along with the mercenary, Zaeed Massani, whom Shepard told him about. There was a woman in the shadows, whom he didn’t recognise but guessed it was the thief he had heard about; the one who travelled with Shepard during her fight against the Collectors. Shepard was moving her Omni-tool around to capture everyone with her. Damn, Jane. I hope you’re not getting into too much trouble up there.

 “What was that, Liara?” Shepard called, “Is Javik alright?”

 “He’ll be fine, I just don’t think he can control his alcohol intake.” Was the Asari’s reply as an unidentified alien appeared with her on screen, what the hell is that? Shepard glanced back at the screen, “Oh, you haven’t been told about Javik, he’s a Prothean, a living Prothean.”

 “Yes, the last living Prothean.” He grumbled in the back and Anderson’s eyes widened, “You primitives always state the obvious.”

 “And our new friend and ally against the Reapers,” Shepard chuckled, making the Prothean stutter, “he’s okay once you get to know him.”

 She has a Prothean and two god damn Krogan in the apartment… dammit, Shepard! And you wonder why I worry?

 “Don’t worry, Admiral. We’ve got Shepard under control.” Kaidan said as though he could read Anderson’s mind and the colour of Shepard’s face began to clash with her hair.

 “Really, Kaidan?” she cursed, her face grew darker as Kaidan kissed her cheek. Anderson blinked, I’ll have a few words for you the next time we meet, Major, that I can guarantee you he thought darkly before blinking at an unintelligible shout from behind them and spun around, Shepard snapping “Joker, you can shut up too!”

 “Calm down, Shepard,” Garrus cut through, “We all know who really breaks things around here.”

 “Wow, Garrus. Thanks,” she muttered sarcastically, to which Anderson chuckled. Then another face appeared, dark hair and blue eyes, Jane gave him a look, “Don’t even start, Johnny.”

 John Shepard, her twin brother. The two may not look even remotely alike, well, save a couple of facial similarities and mannerisms. The two were twins. Jane, the Hero of the Skyllian Blitz and John, the Butcher of Torfan. Anderson couldn’t say he was surprised to see the two had reconciled after the whole Collector business. He wondered if the same could be said about Hannah Shepard and Admiral Hackett. John had held his hands up in self-defence. “I’m saying nothing, Janie.” Before looking at the cam, “Hey Anderson, Cryda told me to say hi the next we saw you!”

 “I can tell him myself, Johnny!” yelled the voice of the young woman in question as she appeared behind the twins, grinning and waving at the Camera, “Hey Admiral!”

 Cryda Shepard was their younger sister; half-sister. The girl spent most of her time being schooled on Mindoir as she preferred solid ground to Spacecraft before the place was attacked by mercs. The girl was lucky, she’s a Shepard and a spitting image of her older sister despite being ten years younger. They hang tight despite their different choices. Jane grew up on Earth, John luckily remained with his Mother in Space and Cryda preferred to be amongst the Colonists and was studying Colonism, three Shepards and all three were very different, how the hell were they all even related?

 Jane turned back to the cam’s face, “Wish you were here, Anderson. We have everyone here, except a select few who were unable to attend. Karin’s busy with work or so she says, and as for Ash, Mordin, Thane and Legion. I’m sure they’re watching down on us.” She went silent for a moment before shaking it off. “Hackett will be taking John and Cryda after this is over, I’m going to be needed at the front line.”

 “Are you ever going to call him 'Dad' , Janie,” John called from off-screen to which Jane rolled her eyes, and Kaidan glared at the off-screen man. Nope, still not going well. Jane had still blocked Hackett out of that part of her life.

 Jane cleared her throat, “Whether you actually receive this still remains to be seen though, still, you’re missing one hell of a party! So I’ll send you all the pictures we had Glyph take over the course of the night along with any we all may have taken. Save some Reapers asses for me to kick when we reach Earth. I’ll have the entire Galaxy behind me and we will beat them, I know we will and we’ll do all do it together!”

 There was an eruption of cheers from behind her and a crowd of arms washed over the red-haired woman in the centre of the screen and at that, a wide grin broke across her face. Anderson froze and instinctually paused the screen to take in what he was seeing. Never in all his years that he had known Commander Jane Shepard, had ever seen her seen her smile like that. After her defeat on Thessia… Joker had said in their last briefing that she was going downhill, and fast. Yet, here she was, as though the world were normal, as though there wasn’t a war going on. Smiling and laughing with her crew... no, her friends, her family. She’d come a long way from Earth, snatched from her family and living on the streets of Humanity’s homeworld. He was proud of her, more than he would be able to express.

 He sat there silently, taking in the image. That was the woman she was supposed to be. “I’m proud of you, child,” came the whisper, and a smile etched on his face as he blinked away the glazing of his eyes, clearing his throat before clicking play.

 Her laughter echoing through the speaker, “We miss you, I miss you! We’ll have another once this is all over! Promise! Shepard out.”

 The vid ended on her last smile, and he smiled at the last image. Before recalling there was an attachment and after locating it, well, he just wasn’t expecting his Omni-tool to be overloaded with a wave of over a hundred images. “Jesus Christ, Shepard.”

 How long did he have? For that moment he didn’t care and scrolled through every single one. His suspicions confirmed the presence of each individual he had seen or thought he had seen, save the robotic VI EDI who had not been in camera range however he was sure it was her voice he had heard somewhere in the vid. Probably the one scolding Joker? Jane was seen with each individual, hugging and kissing and joking around. He paused on this particular one with Kaidan caught in a standstill with Shepard in his arms. The way the man looked at her as though she were the greatest treasure to be found. Perhaps for the young Major, she was. However, he realised then that it never clicked in his mind two to three years ago, after the SR1 was destroyed that Kaidan wasn’t just grieving for a Commander or friend. He was grieving for his lover, for the woman he loved. Anderson sighed. At least they took the chance before it was too late.

 One thing stood out in the pictures though. She was smiling. She was laughing. She was happy. That’s what this woman’s life should have been like all this time. She should have been smiling, long ago. She should have been happy, laughing and joking with friends and family. Heck, if she wasn’t with the Alliance could have been raising her own family. She should have been safe and happy, away from all the war and fighting.

 Even as a child, he’d never seen her smile like that. A tiny little red-haired child who had stood out amongst the gaggle of children in that children’s home. Those big wide green eyes full of wonder as she had looked up at him. He was barely a decorated Alliance Soldier himself. He had placed one of his own medals, one he earned for his part in the First Contact War, on her little white t-shirt bearing the alliance emblem.

 “How will I give it back to you?” She asked innocently, truthfully, he had not expected to get it back after placing it on her.

 “The day you join the Alliance Military,” He told her, as she fiddled with it, lifting her chin to look at him, “I’ll be there waiting.” It resulted in her standing up straight, saluting him with a tiny “yes, sir.” Possibly the cutest thing anyone had ever seen if the awes from the soldiers behind him were anything to go by… nope, definitely cute and he had a picture to prove it and tease his former XO about. The next he saw her was on the streets, a chance encounter in the Metropolis café, over three and half years after meeting her. No shoes, muddied and tangled hair. Dirty clothes… the same t-shirt… and his medal. It hung on her, she had lost a lot of weight. He wondered what might have become of her if he hadn’t intervened and stopped the café owner from chasing her off. He didn’t like to think of it. Though, he wasn’t sure how he’d have to actually explain to the Alliance that he had taken in a random child off the street. What would he have said? He’d lost count of the days, weeks, months, the years he’d spent looking after her before the Alliance eventually called him in. He’d left her alone for a few short hours. A thirteen-year-old girl, who knew not to open the door to strangers and knew how to use a gun, what was the worst that could happen?

 He found out when he got home after explaining his situation and discovered his apartment had been trashed, a man in Alliance uniform with a bullet in his head and little Jane was gone. He never thought he’d be spending the next few years searching the streets for the little red-haired girl. The man in uniform wasn’t even a real Alliance Soldier but an infiltrator… a Merc. His CO called the search off. The man was unlikely to be alone and there were more than half a dozen kids on the streets. He never forgave himself for that.  The look on his face, as Jane attempted to describe years later, the day she turned up in front of him. Fresh in uniform, the same big green eyes full of wonder and that future she held in her hands and what was the first thing she did, she placed the medal back on his shirt and saluted him. He didn’t even speak as he embraced her. He wasn’t sure she’d gotten over the embarrassment… but neither could he get her to tell her what happened that day he’d left her alone. She could only say, “It wasn’t your fault.”

 Anderson sighed as he returned his eyes to his Omni-tool. The next photo was of all of them together in the living area in front of the piano. He smiled at that. She was with the people who had followed her to hell and back. Who loved and believed in her. He exhaled quietly, she was where she belonged.

The last image was of Shepard alone. She just stood there in her N7 hooded jumper smiling at the camera. The image showed him a woman who looked as though she had never seen the worst of a battle or was even in the middle of a war. It showed the woman who looked as though she had had the best years of her life and was content where she was. That was his baby girl. Blood or not... That was... No, 'is' his kid! His child.

 Anderson felt a wetness fall down his face and exhaled sharply as he wiped his eyes, I’m proud of you, Jane and I promise this to you, child. On my own life… I’ll be there to make sure you live through this.

#merweek2018 #Mass Effect Relationships Week 2018 #female shepard #david anderson #mass effect 3 #mass effect trilogy #that was a fanfic

[nahcam]

look! it’s cambriel ‘cam’ slovak. they have been living in south kingsboro for two years. they say the twenty three year old can be impulsive but also loyal, but i just think he looks a lot like logan lerman 

this too me ages to do ajkvndfsjv but here is this trash bags intro ! i’ve had cam for probably almost a decade now ( yikes lmfao ), he’s a super old character of mine & i never thought i would be bringing him back but here he is, slightly revamped !!

tw: drug and alcohol abuse, abuse, mental illness, violence, mentions of miscarriage 

full  name : cambriel  mikhailo  eleazar  slovak

nicknames : honestly  just  cam , he’ll  probably  scream  at  you  if  you  call  him  anything  else  lmfao

gender : cismale

height :  6 ‘ 0

age : 23

birthday : october  21 ,  1996

zodiac : libra  sun  ( libra - scorpio  cusp , also  known  as  the  cusp  of  ‘ drama  and  criticism ’ ) , aquarius  moon , scorpio  ascendant

right  handed  or  left  handed : left  handed

eye  color : really  baby  blue , looks  darker  in  some  lightings 

hair  color : jet  black

piercings  &  tattoos : no  piercings , the  libra  symbol  on  his  right  ankle , the  name  ‘ eleazar ’  on  his  left  wrist ( grandfather’s name ) , this tattoo of an unborn fetus on his upper left bicep which represents him because his parents say he was ‘the abortion that got away’, but this also represents his unborn child with ellie, and these finger tattoos right here !

languages  spoken : ukrainian ( native  tongue ) , pretty  decent  hebrew , english

sexuality : tragically ? heterosexual / heteroromantic  ( 🤢🤮 )

place  of  birth : odesa , ukraine

last  3  songs  listened  to : stadium  arcadium  by  red  hot  chili  peppers , a  gondola  ride  in  paris  by  the  messenger , weight  of  love  by  the  black  keys

character  inspo : a  mix  of  lip  and  frank  gallagher  from  shameless u.s , james  cook  from  skins  u.k  ( huge  muse  from  this  one ! ) , a  mix  of  fezco  and  rue  bennett  from  euphoria , billy  hargrove  from  stranger  things 

soo cam was born in odesa, ukraine to a bulgarian mother ( danijla ) and a ukrainian father ( mikhailo ). now, to put it simple, neither mikhailo nor danijla wanted to have a kid at all. his mother had just turned sixteen when she found out she was pregnant and his father was barely nineteen. the only reason they even had cam is because they were literally told ‘you’re too far in the pregnancy to abort’. needless to say, he was not a wanted child at all

his first few years were mostly him staying with a terrible babysitter his parents hired to take care of him while they were out partying, since he was too young to attend school

he grew up in poverty. most of the time, his parents weren’t really around and there was nothing to eat. he grew up wearing hand me downs from his older cousins, basically broke AF tbh, and his parents cared more about getting fucked up then feeding their son ( and their only son, at that )

from a pretty young age, he remembers living in pretty shitty conditions. his house was always a mess, always scattered with empty bottles of alcohol and a lingering smell of weed, sometimes even meth, but he was too young to know the smell of that

things were never really okay for him, but he managed and learned to fend for himself early on. it wasn’t until he was around six, almost seven, that shit started getting real

his mother began cheating on his dad. when he wasn’t home, she would bring over the same guy and lock the door of their room, telling cam the man was her brother and also his ‘uncle’. cam, of course, was too young to see what was really going on. he never said anything when the man would leave minutes before his father would come home, mostly because he didn’t think it was important

he was going to school one day when he forgot to knock on the door to his parents room. he basically barges in and catches his mother having sex with the guy she claimed was her ‘brother’, and even though he was young, he knew better. luckily, they were too into what they were doing to notice cam walking in, so he quickly walked out and went to school. it’s a lot to witness your parent cheating on your other parent, and it’s even worse if you’re fucking six years old. cam was determined to tell his father, but he didn’t have to

that day, when he came home from school, he found his father drinking on the floor, tears in his eyes, claiming his mother had packed all her things and left. from that moment on, it was just cam and his father

you would expect things to get better from there on out, since mikhailo no longer had anyone to go out and party with, but things just seemed to spiral downwards. mikhailo became angry and began to drink and do drugs ( mostly just coke ). and, if you guessed it, he began to take out all his frustrations on cam

it wasn’t even that big at first, mostly just insults, him telling cam that they meant to abort him, but waited too long and found out too late to do so, petty, petty shit that obviously hurt cam, but he managed it, because his father was the only person he had left

after a while though, it became physical. cam began to notice how differently his father would act when he was sober ( almost never ) versus when he was fucked up. he became violent, little words setting him off. it was almost like he had a split personality of some sort, with the way cam would watch him switch off one moment then switch on the next

he became a victim of abuse, and of course, this led to pretty violent behaviors from pretty early on in his life. all the abuse he would endure, he would quickly take it out on anyone who crossed him the wrong way

this went on for quite some time, but, as sick as it sounded, cam didn’t have the heart to snitch on his father. he wasn’t a doctor, but he could tell he had some type of mental illness, and just add drugs and alcohol to that mix, and he was practically a mess. the only reason they weren’t kicked out of the house was because they owned the house, but most of the time, if not always, they were missing basic necessities like food, clean water or even toilet paper

his life was shit and he knew it, but again, he didn’t have the heart to snitch, even though he knew his dad didn’t love or want him, so, he put up with it. he took it ‘like a man’, as his father said. he did such a good job at hiding his bruises and avoiding talking about his private life

he basically mimicked what his father did to him and did the same thing to other kids. he knew it was wrong, because all the things his father did to him made him feel like shit, empty on the inside, the type of things you cry yourself to sleep with, and maybe that’s exactly why he was so fucking mean and violent to everyone – he wanted them to feel all the pain he was feeling. he didn’t think it was fair that kids his grade had such big houses, such great parents and loving siblings, pets, basically everything he wanted to have but lacked

the amount of times he was suspended from school before he was even ten years old was surprising. it was mostly just violence, but he also got in trouble for stealing and basic bullying. his teachers and basically everyone at school called him ‘the devils child’

he thought he could keep his secret going forever, but everything has to come to an end. he was being reprimanded by one of his teachers when she grabs him by the arm to take him out the room, to which he winces. long story short, but she found all his bruises, then realized he was covering up a bunch on his face with concealer

it was obvious he had a serious problem when she asked him ‘how did this happen?’ and his literal reply was ‘if you tell anyone about this, i’ll hurt you and your entire family’, before pushing her desk to the floor and running out before she could catch him

he thought it would all settle down after a while. he didn’t go to school the following days to avoid seeing her, but his encounter with her bought everything to light. after the fourth day of staying home, police raided his house and arrested his father, taking cam to a group home

instead of feeling relieved because he no longer had to put up with abuse, he got even angrier, if that was possible. he had to testify against his father and he was living with a bunch of people he didn’t even know. if his life was already shit before, it turned even shittier now

he basically became property of the government, a foster child, when he was thirteen years old. he was jumping from group home to group home, foster home to foster home, basically living a much more unstable life than he had with his father

he repeatedly blamed the teacher who snitched on him and even went as far as egging her house and slashing her tires ( crazy mf tbh ). he was getting into constant fights at his foster homes ( which resulted in him being transferred constantly ), stealing, and during this time, experimenting with drugs

as depressing as it sounds, but he was so young and constantly thinking about death. he fantasized the ways he would die, how it would happen, and he constantly asked himself what he did wrong in his past life to live the life he was living now. being a foster kid wasn’t a step up at all. if anything, the kids he lived with were more fucked up then he was. everyone had their own story and some serious trauma they carried with them. everyone acted out one way or another

for cam, it was drugs, violence, and crime. he was doing so much bullshit at such a young age, literally lived way more at his thirteen years than most people do by like, twenty five. his entire life was a fucking trip. he even went to juvie a good three times, and he was literally fucking thirteen

authorities deemed his father unfit to take care of him ( as if it wasn’t obvious ). however, it was revealed that his father had more mental health issues than cam thought. he had borderline personality disorder, or bpd, and was beginning to show signs of early dementia and possible schizophrenia, mostly psychosis. instead of putting him in prison, he was put in a mental asylum, which deeply depressed cam when finding out because he did that. even though it was probably the best thing that happened to him, he lived with constant guilt and blamed himself, despite knowing his father obviously needed professional help

it seemed like his life would remain crappy forever, like he would be stuck living the rest of his life in ukraine, probably in prison before he was even nineteen. luckily for cam though, authorities managed to track down a family member he had who was living in new york, his grandfather named eleazar, or his dad’s dad

cam didn’t even know he had a grandfather to begin with. he just assumed most people from his family were either dead, too old to care, or just didn’t want to meet him. he was even more surprised when he was told his grandfather wanted to take him to new york and legally adopt him, meaning he would leave behind everything he’s ever known

he was expecting his grandfather to be just as bad as his father was, but he would do anything to leave foster care, so he agreed to meet him

he was not expecting the man who wanted to adopt him to be the way he was. it was almost as if his father had been adopted, because he had absolutely nothing in common with his father ( or cam’s grandfather )

cam discovered a ton of things when he met his grandfather. for starters, he had absolutely no idea he was jewish at all. his father never practiced any type of religion and never told him anything about his family bg, so finding out his entire family from his father’s side was jewish was pretty shocking. he also discovered that his grandfather had been in ww2 ( literally ), in camp auschwitz in southern poland, from 1943 till the end of the war. he even had the tattoo he was forced to get when entering the camp when he was eight years old, basically a survivor. he was separated from his mother, father, and older sister and hasn’t seen or heard of them since, but suspects they’re all dead. when he was old enough, he moved from poland to ukraine

talking to the man fascinated cam in every sense of the word. it wasn’t just because he was his grandfather, but cam had truly never met anyone like him at all. he was basically everything that cam wanted to be, a survivor, a fighter, brave, genuine... the list of his good qualities were infinite. it took a while, but cam was finally moving to kingsboro, new york with his grandfather when he was fourteen years old, after he had officially become his legal guardian 

from there, life seemed to get a little better. he learned english and was taught hebrew by his grandfather, and he listened to his war stories every day and even asked him to repeat the ones he had already told. his grandfather was walking, living proof that the things cam had gone through were tough, sure, but they were nothing compared to what his grandfather lived through. in a way, the man gave him hope that things would eventually get better, and they definitely did

his bad ass tendencies never went away, but they certainly got a lot better since living with his grandpa, since his life was a lot more stable. he had a clean, spacious home, food, ac... could he really ask for more? 

with the help from his grandpa, he even agreed to go to therapy and speak with a psychologist about his issues. he was getting so much better, less angry, but there was still trauma there because how does one even get rid of that?

now, fast forward to high school and he’s, tragically, selling drugs for extra money, but not really doing anything hard, hard, mostly just dealing. on his senior ( or junior? ) year, he meets none other than ellie, basically the first girl he’s ever really loved, and of course, they start to date, fall madly in love, and she gets pregnant with his child

this is enough to make cam straighten out his act because unlike his father, he wants to be there for his kid. in his head, he’s thinking he’s going to marry this girl. he’s thinking they’re going to have a kid and live happily ever after, but, as always, tragedy hits and she has a miscarriage, which of course, devastates cam a lot

we all know how this goes tho 🤡  after some time, they seem to drift apart. cam really wants to make things work, but ellie throws herself in her school work and starts pulling away from him, resulting in their breakup six months after the miscarriage

he takes this harder then he should and goes to jersey to stay with a high school friend for a while, ghosting everyone ( minus his grandfather ) completely. this kind of triggers something inside him and he’s suddenly back to his old habits ( old habits die hard, huh? )

catch him selling drugs, fighting people and snorting ketamine like it’s candy, bitch! he hasn’t even hit rock bottom yet, but he’s definitely getting there. it was like the breakup and losing a kid makes him snap back to his old self. them drifting apart just further reminds him that everyone leaves him eventually for someone better, because he’s fucked up and unlovable. he constantly tells himself that his own mother and father never loved nor wanted him, so why would ellie? the most fucked up part is that he doesn’t even blame her for doing what she did, because he would have done the same if he was in her shoes

now he’s back in new york and he’s slowly but surely turning into a fucking ketamine junkie. he knows what drugs and alcohol did to his family, but he’s doing it anyways, because he doesn’t give not one single fuck tbh 😂

i feel like the only person he has that’s actually there for him is his grandfather, but the man is 86 years old. cam knows he doesn’t have long, and honestly? the day his grandfather dies is probably the day he actually does hit rock bottom, but we’ll wait for that day to come by lmfao

libra-scorpio cusp with hella more scorpio tendencies!! he’s a sneaky little fuck, and he can be super manipulative when he wants to be. also curses like a fucking sailor, saying ‘fuckin’ at least 6 times in one sentence LOL

he plays guitar and is actually really fucking good at it ( think like, john frusciante , david gilmour , dan auerbach, or even jimi hendrix ), he also writes poetry and short stories as a way to let out his frustrations, but he keeps this super lowkey. most people think he makes all his money from drug dealing, but a good amount of his money also comes from publishing guitar covers on youtube. he never shows his face and goes under the alias, trickfinger. he has 3 million subscribers on his channel, but no one knows its him

this is already superrr fucking long so i’m going to end it here, but i’m going to put his birthchart below this for some extra #tea

#kingsboro.intro #( queuekachu! ) #this took me forever this is so fuckin long jfc

[jugs-and]

the last couple of months

I have attempted to explain the entire story to various friends - it’s a mighty long story. It’s been a mighty long year, more than I realised before I started writing this account. 

I’m probably the asshole in this situation, but it’s my blog so eh. I needed to say it somewhere for future records because I may be scatter-brained but I take intense pride in record keeping to make up for it. 

0.

19th April - We didn’t talk for a week - she said that she thought I’d given up on her.

1. Opening blows. 

2nd May. It was the most innocent of days - we were just bantering about life. There was nothing really different about the day, it was just the normal Saturday night conversation - I’d just returned from a run, so I was just relaxing with my hairy legs on the table and mixing G&Ts. The call is always the highlight of my week and I was just free-wheeling as the night grew darker and darker. 

I asked about her university time - well, really I had initially opened up about my time in university, and I was recounting it. She has always been deeply fascinated with the enigma of N- and She then just on the train of thought as well, and she recounted, and recounted deeper, with more stories than I had heard before - about attempt to enter the medical exam, and then failing the second time as well. Then she went silent - just completely mute. 

This was a Saturday, so I hung up, and left it. Thinking that I’d be able to continue this the next day. She didn’t say anything the next day, and the day after when I sent through a photo of my breakfast. 

6th May. She sent me an email on the Wednesday about how down she felt - the email was horrific: 

> After our talk last Friday, I felt low, so down like I have never felt in years.

> I just wanted to have a fun, warm conversation with my friend and here I was, buried in my memories, of shame and self-deprecation.

My heart dropped to the bottom of the ocean. The thing about E- is that she remembers everything - she will remember incorrectly as well, if it makes her look worse and in a bad light. 

I had said some thoughts out loud, about her ex-boyfriend being her only support system and I finally realised that it was no small feat to strike out alone to move to New Zealand those three years past. These thoughts which were probably not quite appropriate to say out loud or how I wanted or intended them to sound.

I replied straight away, outlining that I didn’t enter into the conversation with any ill-will or maliciousness. It wasn’t really a good time to point out that her version of events was quite erroneous which is leading to a lot of the misunderstanding - but I didn’t want to be seen as gas-lighting. 

She didn’t reply. 

2. Restarting the Conversation

11th May. A week later, I sent another email because I was honestly just feeling lonely at the time. I thought we were going to go into a hibernation mode where we don’t talk for a number of months and we’d just be in a cryogenic freeze. As tradition, I initiated the email contact with a mindless paragraph with everything on my mind at the moment, how helpless I felt in the midst of all of this to resolve the situation and distance created. 

She replied the next day, which was surprising. I didn’t know what to take from that. She tends to wander off and not return for a while, and act like nothing had changed. 

13th, 14th, 16th May. Throughout the week we continued to trade emails on the topic of expectations and the nature of support in the context of friendships versus romantic relationships. It was sort of like normal, she said that she found the support outside of me, which sort of hurt. I know the words are not really there to injure, but it injures me like someone who was deeply invested in their favourite television show. Here I was watching the series finale unfold in slow motion - with the sinking feeling that I’d been cancelled much too early.

17th May She encouraged me to call her whenever I was ready to discuss. I moaned that communication was hard - I don’t know, she came back discussing tantra practices. 

3. Talking restarts 

19th May - She sent me a Jean Paul Gaultier facemask - but normal talking resumed and it was strangely normal. Photos of nature, everyday things - I was scrambling to get enough content to drag up to the next weekend - but no, we did the normal flirty talks with innuendo and BDSM, which any normal person would see as intensely sexual. 

The next week was fleeting conversations about what was going on in life. It was toward the end of COVID19 restrictions and one of the days I was back in the office with Ashley and Summer. We were going to call that weekend, but postponed because I was at Colin’s house for a bbq on Saturday, and calling Mum on the Sunday. I postponed it out of annoyance, I guess.

4. The beginning of the end 

25th May - E- shared about her weekend, both Saturday and Sunday. We’d been typing for a couple of minutes, so I decided to call. I remember calling outside the meeting rooms and on the way to the central lifts. I remember being surprised she picked up - I was sat in my car for most of it. The first two hours were wonderful, but then we moved onto the topic of religion.

I was so tired and slightly broken. I was increasingly attacked by some earlier comments she’d made about my tortured state-which I thought was sort of unfair. She was also really dismissive about the moment I talked about how busy I was, and alluding to, oh gosh. I could be doing so much else right now. 

There was an unprecedented arrogance to the way I said things - and a few things on yoga, namaste and the spiritual pursuit - I said a lot of things I still probably won’t back down on, but said in incredibly poor taste. E- has a good skill of taking sentences out of context and finding quotes to match and justify the feelings in her heart. It was a four hour phone call, and the last hour was the most difficult hour of my life. I was so defensive, and every part of my body was screaming to burn all the bridges.

26th May - She talked like normal. After I apologised, she said she wanted to move on and We had a conversation like normal - she sent through quizzes to do with inherent biases, and I responded like normal, somewhat, whatever that means. Across messages, and I was in a bridge burning mood. I poured out everything about how dismissive she is sometimes, and they are not respected or explored, even if she doesn’t agree with them. 

I didn’t talk for a week. I was travelling to Cape Reinga that weekend, so I didn’t pursue it anymore. 

5. Silence

Since that conversation, we’ve spoken sparingly. I sent a photo of the signpost at Cape Reinga pointing at Vancouver, recounted about the guy who shouted racial epithets at us in the carpark.

We’ve called twice. Both times, I’ve left very quickly, and I don’t know what I was going to say. 

05 June - The first one, I called, and asked how she was. She’d been distant as always, and I’m not sure if I was supposed to be surprised. She told me about her weekend, and I left after 20 minutes. She was in a shop, and a bit distracted, so I didn’t think too much about it. 

08 June - She returned the favour and called me. Talked to me about her knees, and what sort of state they are in - I’d asked her about them during the weekend because she sounded in some sort of discomfort. She discussed the movies she’d been watching, and I was slightly irritated that she made no attempt to relate the movies to me, but it was a recurring issue which I’d ignored somewhat. 

6. Cooling down

I guess we’ve traded one-line messages over the past week with increasing weariness - and on some level, it feels like the end. I’m greatly relieved that she is doing much better, and it gives me a lot more peace in being able to let go. 

The most irritating is hearing things I told her three years ago, but talking like she’s stumbled on them by herself. I’m realising how little she listens, or trusts in other people. She repeated the same things like it’s the people that are going to save you - the same things I’d been telling her three years ago - fuck dude - that was me. 

The urge in my heart is to say that I feel I’ve never truly been listened to - I’ve never had my words of encouragement, my words of caution, my words of love - they’ve never been treasured. I’ve been chasing after the girl beneath the layers of insecurity, anxiety and longing for maternal care, and full of chronic emotional distance - I don’t know if she is there anymore. While society couldn’t see it, I know I was her first ever real friend, and now I just look like I’m crazy desperate. 

I don’t think she realizes how hard I’ve worked to support and be a friend to someone who has been incredibly hard to be a friend to the past three years. Where she’s had literally no one on the other side of the world - I’ve ignored a lot of bullshit and I’ve always prioritized her above a lot of my other friends. I’m only holding on for the moment because I spent so much time and effort, but I have zero affection whether platonic or otherwise.

7. Burning bridges

We called for a hour on Sunday (28th June), it arose organically, she’d been out for a sushi dinner at one of the top restaurants in Vancouver. I knew she was with H-, so I didn’t really want to call. But she turned on the cam to show me everything about her apartment - shit-talked with zero regard regarding finding people online, and I excused myself as my parents were up for the weekend. At the end she faced the camera towards herself and said “Thanks so much for calling, I love it” with the warmest, cutest smile in the world. 

I’m just here, writing this record. I have a lot of these records, but I don’t think I ever post them, and they become out of date - so they just live in my inbox. But I very much feel like I want to burn every bridge right now. 

#this feels terrifying and liberating to press post

[moonshinemonty]

For @xoheatherkw. Happy Secret Santa! Sorry this got posted so late, this was supposed to be short! And now it’s almost 3k!!! This got ENTIRELY out of hand. It has a very fluffy ending.

“Blech.” Kirsten manages a pitiful groan as she lifts her head from the toilet bowl, turning her head just enough to see Cameron hovering in the bathroom doorway. His brow is furrowed under his glasses, hair still fluffy from sleep.

“You still sick, Stretch?” He’s there in an instant, kneeling beside her on the tile, his hand tracing soft circles on her back.

Once, she would have hated it. Would have preferred privacy. But he’s warm, and the bathroom floor is cool, and the wave of nausea is already beginning to recede, so she leans her shoulder against his chest.

“I guess so. Three days in a row, Maggie’s gonna love that.”

He makes a dismissive noise from behind her, hand coming up to tuck a stray strand of hair behind her ear.

“She’ll be fine. Besides, that’s kind of how being sick works. You don’t get to schedule in one day wherever it’s convenient.” His voice is firm, like he’s already playing out the argument with their boss in his head.

Kirsten sighs.

“This is stupid. I felt fine last night, and now-”

“Now you’re going to rest while I make you some chicken soup.” He hops back to his feet, pushing his glasses back up the bridge of his nose. He scampers off, leaving Kirsten to roll her eyes and stand unsteadily to brush her teeth.

God, she’s sick of soup.

It’s all going fine, her stomach settled with the help of some organic gingerale and saltines. She even has a small bowl of soup to appease the worried glances Cameron keeps sending her way.

And then he brings out a little bowl of tapenade for himself, spreading it on a cracker, and Kirsten is face first in the sink before she even has time to register that horrific smell of olives.

She throws up the soup, and the saltines and the gingerale. She feels the hand on her back without hearing him come up behind her, and sighs, taking the glass of water he offers to rinse out her mouth.

“I want you to go to a doctor.”

She waves him off, turning around slowly so as not to antagonize her slowly settling stomach.

“I’m fine.”

He raises an eyebrow, and Kirsten blanches as she catches sight of her reflection in his glasses. She really does look awful, almost grey save for the splotches of bright red on her cheeks.

“You don’t seem fine. One or two days of something like this is normal, but you’ve been sick since Tuesday. You should be feeling better by now.”

“I am!” Kirsten insists, relenting a little under his scrutinizing gaze. “Except for when I’m not.”

He takes her hand, which she’s sure is sweaty, and a little clammy, and fixes her with that pleading look that she’s beginning to be painfully aware usually ends in him getting his way.

“Please?” He asks quietly. “I’m worried about you, Stretch. It’s probably nothing, but there’s no point in being sick for two weeks and finding out we could have done something about it.”

“You’re a doctor,” she mumbles, dropping her gaze and her voice.

“I’m not that kind of doctor.”

When she looks at him again, she knows she’s lost.

“Alright,” she says. He smiles, cupping her cheek in his hand, soft and sweet. She leans into it, as has become habit.

“I’ll call Ayo.”

Kirsten just nods and drops into the nearest stool with a sigh.

She makes sure he puts the tapenade away before he calls the doctor.

“Sorry.” Ayo makes an apologetic face as she slides the needle into Kirsten’s arm. The blonde just shrugs with one shoulder, careful to keep the one being poked still.

“I’m kind of used to it at this point.”

That earns her a smile, the kind shared between people who have seen a lot together. Kirsten considers her a friend, though they’ve never actually socialized outside work.

“So you started feeling sick on Tuesday?”

Kirsten nods.

“I woke up nauseous, couldn’t keep anything down all day. Since then it’s like I’m fine one moment and the next I’m throwing up my saltines.”

The darker skinned girl frowns, her brow drawn thoughtfully.

“Any other symptoms?”

“I’ve been tired,” Kirsten says slowly. “It’s sort of hard to tell at this point if that’s because I’m sick or because I haven’t really eaten in 3 days. And I’ve been having these really vivid dreams, so I’m not sure how much rest I get even when I’m sleeping.”

“Alright.” Ayo finishes drawing blood, twisting the vacuumed vial to seal it, and slides the needle out. “Well, I’ll run some tests back at the lab and get back to you. I’m sure it’s nothing, but we should know for sure before you stitch again even if you’re feeling better.”

So many question marks, Kirsten thinks. For all they know she could be a vegetable by thirty as a side effect of the stitching. It’s not like they really had the time or opportunity to do clinical trials before she came along, and Marta-

She tries not to think about Marta too much.

Kirsten is napping when Ayo calls. Cameron tries to answer it right away, she can tell by the muffled curse followed by a quiet hello?, that drifts in from the hallway after the ringtone wakes her.

She yawns, stretching, and notes that she feels better than she had that morning. Though, by now, she’s learned not to trust that.

“Am I dying?” She asks, blinking as she rounds the corner into the still sunny living room. Cameron jumps a little, and she smirks at him.

“Ah, no.” He says. “I mean, I don’t know.” She raises her eyebrows. “Ayo wants you to come in, she wouldn’t tell me why.”

“Oh.” Kirsten frowns. “That sounds kind of ominous.”

“I’m sure it’s fine.”

He doesn’t sound sure, but he likes to worry, so Kirsten decides to leave him to it.

“Alright, I’ll head over to the lab now.”

By the time she’s dressed and steps back out into the hall he’s waiting for her, keys in hand.

“I can get myself to the lab, Cameron.”

She allows him a certain level of fussing, given that he worries so much, but she’s starting to feel coddled.

“I know you can,” he mutters, shifting his weight onto his back foot. “I just-do you not want me to come?”

“No.” She blinks, and his face goes blank. “I mean, I don’t not want you to come.” She relaxes when he does, the doubt in his eyes fading.

God, it’s still strange to know he cares that much. Sometimes she forgets. Even stranger still, to know how that feels because she reciprocates it. The way she still has nightmares about losing him sometimes, wakes up gasping and pressing her cheek to her chest.

Is it worth it?

Yes. She can answer that in a instant, even when it hurts.

“Um,” Cameron is still watching her, a little hesitant. “So should we-”

“Oh,” she nods. “Yeah. Let’s go.”

Cameron fiddles with the radio, and it isn’t until the third station in as many minutes that Kirsten realized just how nervous he is.

“Hey.” She puts a hand on his bicep, and he glances at her. “I’m sure it’s nothing, Cam. After everything we’ve been through I don’t think the flu is going to be what takes me out.”

He tries to smile. It comes out more like a grimace.

When he goes to change the channel again, she swats his hand away.

When Ayo asks Cameron to wait outside, Kirsten is momentarily afraid he’ll actually faint on the spot.

“Why?” He demands immediately. “Is something wrong? Is Kirsten-”

“Cameron.” Ayo sighs patiently. “It’s just policy. I’m still a doctor.”

“I’ll be out in a minute,” Kirsten presses a quick kiss to his cheek. It’s been a few days since they’ve had any real physical contact, she’s been afraid to get him sick. So when she notices that his eyes have darkened, just slightly, and have dropped to her lips, she gets distracted.

“Uh, Kirsten?”

She blinks, looking back at their friend and doctor, who’s wearing a smug smile she hasn’t seen in a while.

“Sorry.”

Ayo just shakes her head, still smirking.

“I’ll have your girl back in no time, alright?” This is addressed to Cameron, who doesn’t look like it’s alright at all, but Ayo ushers Kirsten into the examination room before he has a chance to argue any further.

“So,” Kirsten says bluntly, sitting on the little padded table. “What’s wrong with me?” She can feel the weight of it in the air, has felt unbalanced since she woke up from her nap, as though an invisible guillotine is hanging over her head. She placated Cameron because she didn’t want him to worry, but truth be told, she has a bad feeling she just can’t shake.

“I don’t know that much about your relationship with Cameron,” Ayo says slowly, leaning against the wall with a tablet in her hand. “So I’m not sure if this will come as a shock.”

“My…” Kirsten frowns. What does her relationship with Cameron have to do with it? “I’m not easily shocked these days.”

“I’m sure that’s true.” Ayo smiles at her, and Kirsten scans the expression for any sign of pity or concern, but doesn’t find anything. It comforts her an infinitesimal amount. “Kirsten, you’re pregnant. I ran the blood test three times to be sure, and I checked your other vitals and levels, and it makes sense.”

She pauses, gives Kirsten a chance to react. To reply.

But all she can do is stare.

“Kirsten? Are you alright?”

“I-you-“ Her mind spins, running over dates, thinking back, trying to remember, trying to convert Ayo’s words to something she can understand.

“Okay, so I’m guessing you weren’t trying then.”

“I…” Kirsten says faintly. “No. We’ve only been together a few months, we haven’t even talked about-are you sure?”

“I’m sure. You’re about six weeks along, which…” the other woman looks a little unsure for a moment. “-Gives you options.”

“Options.” Kirsten repeats vacantly. “Like-”

“Whether or not you want to go through with the pregnancy, adoption…The baby-”

For some reason, that one word cuts through all the static in her head when nothing else has.

“The-“ She inhales sharply. “Baby.”

“Yes.” Ayo’s smile makes a reappearance. “They do tend to make an appearance after a pregnancy.”

“Pregnant.” It’s difficult to say anything at all, so she continues to parrot the doctor’s words back at her. “So the nausea-“

“Morning sickness. It tends to be worst in the first trimester for most women. And the fatigue and vivid dreams are common symptoms as well.”

Kirsten looks down at her still flat stomach, staring so hard her head begins to ache, like the bump is hiding there if she just looks harder enough. She hasn’t really though about having children. Certainly not now, when their lives are so dangerous and unpredictable and even her relationship with Cameron is…new.

“I really don’t know if it’s safe to stitch in your condition,” Ayo continues. “I’ll have to talk to Cameron about it, and-“

“Cameron.” Kirsten jumps to her feet so abruptly that Ayo flinches. “I have to tell him.”

“Uh, yes. You probably should.”

“I have to go.” Kirsten murmurs, still half dazed, reaching for the door.

“We should talk about-“

“I can’t,” Kirsten says, without looking back. “I just…I need a minute.” Her emotions are swirling like birds around her head, mixing with fragmented thoughts and static.

“Kirsten.” Cameron half shouts her name, and by the impatience in it, she gets the sense he’s been calling her for a while. They’re sitting in his car, Kirsten refusing to speak in the lab and Cameron refusing to drive home until she tells him what happened.

“Sorry.�� She says quietly. Something in her expression is obviously worrying him, though she has no idea what the mixture of feelings and blind panic in he head are manifesting as on her face.

“What’s wro-”

“I’m pregnant.”

It just…comes out. She’s a little afraid to look at him, but in the end curiosity wins out.

He’s just…kind of…frozen. Mouth hanging half open, chest still, eyes huge.

It’s not entirely reassuring.

“Cameron,” she whispers. She’s supposed to be the calm one, but she’s anything but calm, and if he can’t talk her down-

“What.”

It’s a million questions and not a question at all.

“I’m pregnant. I didn’t…I don’t know how…and what am I going to-” Her voice started low, but it’s rising with each word, the panic and shock setting in like a wave of adrenaline. Her chest feels like an elephant is sitting on it, and she struggles to drag in enough air.

And then his hands are on her face, and his touch is steadying, but it’s the clarity in his green, green eyes that brings her back.

“Hey. Breathe, Kirsten.” His voice is soft and familiar and she tries, focusing on that clear green and his obscenely long eyelashes and the faint freckles spattered across his nose.

“God.” She closes her eyes as it passes, exhausted. “I have no idea what I’m going to do. I have no idea how this happened.”

When she opens her eyes again, his expression is wry.

“I have a few ideas.”

Despite the tension of the situation, she smacks his arm.

“And it’s what we are going to do. You’re not in this alone, Stretch. You’ve got me, always.” He looks so sure that she nearly bursts into tears. This whole emotions thing was hard enough before the pregnancy hormones, but she’s slightly mollified to know that she hasn’t been completely unreasonable the past few weeks for no reason.

“A baby, Cameron? I can’t even keep a plant alive! I yelled at my fridge last night for being too loud.” She’ll be a terrible mother. She’ll be clueless and clumsy and something bad will happen.

Her hand splays protectively across her stomach entirely of it’s own accord. The movement isn’t lost on Cameron.

“I think we could figure it out,” he says slowly, eyes still on her hand covering her stomach. “If you-if you wanted to.”

Does she? A year ago she’d have said no. Absolutely not. She had no interest in children.

But now-

Those eyes, she realizes, staring at him. A child with his eyes, and curly blonde hair, and-

Oh. She suddenly wants it with a fierceness that knocks the breath out of her and she realizes, painfully, that Cameron has yet to answer his own question.

“Do you?” She asks. His eyes finally snap back to hers, wide and searching. “It’s so soon, and if I can’t stitch we won’t have jobs and the hours aren’t exactly ideal for kids-”

“Do I- Kirsten.” He says, and it actually hurts the way he says her name, she can feel it down to her bones, toes curling. “I will support you whatever you decide, but I would be ecstatic to have kids with you. Now, five years from now, ten years from now. But you are what I want no matter what.”

“You’re such a dork,” she whispers, fingers combing through his hair. He smiles.

“You’re the one who’s crying.”

Surprised, she lifts the hand on her belly to her face, finding it wet.

“Hormones, I guess,” she says with a sigh. “That’s going to be fun.”

His gaze on her turns sharp.

“Going to be?” He says carefully. “As in-“

“As in, I guess the next seven months are going to be really interesting for both of us.” She smiles tentatively.

“And,” he sounds a little breathless now, “-after that-”

“It probably doesn’t get any less interesting when the kid is actually around,” she murmurs, watching his reaction. For a heartbeat, nothing, then-

A blinding smile.

“We’re gonna have a baby?” It looks as though his face might split in two with the force of his grin, and she can’t help but return it.

“Apparently.”

And then he’s kissing her, as deeply as the centre console and the confined space of the car will allow, and she’s climbing into his lap far more eagerly than is probably appropriate for the very sketchy parking lot, and it isn’t until he groans her name and pulls back that she’s willing to let go.

“This is maybe not the best spot,” he says raggedly. “For…well pretty much anything, but especially that. Drug deals, maybe.”

She laughs, dropping her forehead onto his shoulder.

“Sorry,” she says, lips pressed against his neck. “Hormones.”

When she straightens up to slide back into her own seat, he’s grinning at her, an entirely different glint in his eye.

Her hand pauses on the seatbelt.

“What?” She asks.

He shrugs, turning his eyes forward as he starts the car.

“Just thinking about how interesting the next few months are going to be.”

She chokes on a laugh.

“Oh really? And what makes you so sure I’ll-”

He leans over, just long enough to slide his hand slowly up the inside of her thigh. She gasps, biting her lip. Okay, so the pregnancy hormones might work to his advantage just a little. But as quickly as she can blink, his hands are back on the steering wheel, guiding them home through the L.A. traffic.

He wakes her up at three am, looking slightly frantic, and her heart seizes with fear.

“Wha-”

“I love you. I didn’t say that, I can’t believe I forgot, but I love you. So much it hurts sometimes. You’re amazing, and I love you.”

It’s a lot, for three in the morning, but she places a hand against his jaw and says-

“I love you, Cameron. But if you wake me up for something like this again I’m going to murder you.”

His teeth flash white in the moonlight, and he presses a kiss to her forehead.

“Goodnight, Stretch.”

She settles back against her pillow, eyes falling shut.

“Night, Cameron.”

It’s so faint that the next morning she won’t be sure if she dreamt it, but she’s almost certain that right before she falls back to sleep, she hears him add:

“Goodnight, baby Goodkin.”

#stitchers #Camsten #cameron goodkin #kirsten clark #stitchmasinseptember2017