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#this pain just doesn't go away forever unfortunately
katyspersonal · 2 years
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Upset impossibly at having a kind of a brain that is so different that people are bound to misunderstand my intentions and words all the time. Like, in most of the times you cannot understand me correctly through the prism of 'well why would a normal person without autism and with a perfect grasp on social cues do that?' because I am just really different and end up concluding/saying/doing a thing with different intention and reason that most of the people would. Doesn't help that because of many factors even minimal normal social adaptation got ruined, so even for other autists I am TOO clueless and different.
Sometimes I think maybe I just give up easily. Maybe I could like, memorize 1000000 social cues and habits and why people normally do/say a thing so I could communicate myself right and be perceived right. So I would have to spend absurd amount of energy and focus on running non_autistic_person.exe every day. Until with just enough stress and pain it shuts down and I revert in my default self. But even if I could mask all the time - would this life and friendships even worth it? Would any of this worth it if to hold it all together I have to just pilot a 'normal' persona? Far better to just entrust everything on people who either just believe in me in a good way, or ASK me if something I do or say seems outright bad. They are not frequent, though, I am thankful when I find such people.
#/vent#neurodivergent#i've been told variations of 'amongst all autistic people I've met nobody is THIS bad at understanding human behavior' hahaha#it is very hard to explain that having brain BUILT differently is not the same as mental illness#you cannot really 'treat' how you see the world and how you just perceive things differently. you are just like this.#but it is very hard to find compatibility with the world you just... don't seem to belong to. unless you run ABSURD amount of mimicry#like... nothing is compatible. i either just hurt other people or being yelled at for reasons i see as stupid and that don't get explained#also yes i remember i posted similar rant a few months earlier so feel free to ignore it#this pain just doesn't go away forever unfortunately#it just feels like a bad joke to be born so INCOMPATIBLE with how people work and act and feel that like#i either mimic as normie to the point none of this shit is real me or i remain myself but cause havoc and get yelled at and excluded#it is still better to be closer to understanding what is wrong with me and why people are so hard#just several years ago i did not know how to communicate it or what was the reason#the worst part is that autism effects every other person differently so even other autists are not guaranteed to understand you#especially if they have their own set of 'how to interpret other people' rules they interpret YOU through#and it does not work on you because you are different too but not THEIR type of different#the strangest part is that it is not even static. with every passing year i become more and more 'strange'.#though that's probably not autism but the A-cluster developing and complicating. i will be like bloodborne character soon lol
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kafus · 9 months
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how i caught entei in leafgreen in the most ridiculous way possible
SO last week i started a pokemon leafgreen file on my childhood cart i've had since my 5th birthday, and one my goals ended up being getting every owned dex entry possible in JUST the one copy of leafgreen without connecting to any other game… and i did. except i forgot one. ENTEI!!
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like probably a lot of you reading this i COMPLETELY forgot that one of the johto roaming beasts is in every copy of FRLG. i never even caught any of them as a kid. which roamer you get is based on your starter (squirtle = raikou, bulbasaur = entei, charmander = suicune) and i happened to pick bulbasaur so my roamer was entei. it does actually ROAM in kanto, aka whenever you change locations, the pokemon moves to a new route. obviously this is a pain in the ass, but it gets even more painful because roamers can flee from the battle and they will the instant you encounter them. you get the chance to throw one ball or use one move and that's it… so like in most pokemon games, you would use a trapping move like mean look to keep the roamer in the battle and turn it into a normal legendary encounter, right? HAHA WRONG
raikou and entei are affected by the ROAMER ROAR BUG in FRLG, which means if they use roar to escape the battle (yes, even in mean look, it doesn't stop roar from working) they just disappear from the game. permanently. forever. you can never capture it. suicune is not affected by this because it doesn't have roar, but my roamer was entei, so uh. the odds were stacked against me. did i want to repetitively encounter the roamer over and over, never trapping it, just throwing one ball each time? or did i want to set up a mean look pokemon only to have to soft reset every time entei used roar? neither option sounded fun and i was going to just give up and master ball it despite REALLY wanting it in a luxury ball like all the other kanto legendaries i had already caught… UNTIL!
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i am a moderator of the ribbon master discord (a different pokemon challenge) and i was just sorta liveposting my thought process about this annoying roamer when gen 3 rng manipulation extraordinaire ddeeffgg crashes into the chat and suggests this fucking bonkers idea. and his bonkers idea is galaxy brain LET ME EXPLAIN
ariados is available in leafgreen's post game by catching spinarak in pattern bush, and of course electrode is a fairly common kanto pokemon. ariados gets access to spider web, which is basically just mean look with a different name (and i completely forgot it existed), it traps the opponent in the battle. but IMPORTANTLY, it ALSO gets access to BATON PASS… which, in gen 3, passes the trapping effect! usually if you were to use spider web and swap out ariados, the opponent would no longer be trapped, but baton pass solves that! and then electrode has the ability soundproof which prevents roar from working, and it even gets thunder wave (paralysis) and sonicboom (consistent 20 damage with no chance of accidental crits) to assist in easier capture of entei! nice!! awesome!! but getting this setup in order is the most ridiculous shit i've ever done in leafgreen
PROBLEM #1: ariados gets baton pass through egg move. in gen 3, egg moves are only passed down by the father and not the mother, so i had to grab a male ledyba, grind it to a high enough level to learn baton pass, then grab a female spinarak and breed them together. unfortunately this means my ariados would be level 1 and i'd have to train it up quite a bit, which leads into my next problem…
PROBLEM #2: ariados is SLOWWW. its base speed is a measly 40 compared to entei's whopping 100! ariados needs to outspeed entei to use spider web first turn so entei can't just run away! i would have to get ariados to a very high level to outspeed entei, grinding all the way from level 1. the one plus side is that the roamers in FRLG are bugged to always have a 0 IV in defense, special attack, special defense, and speed, which means unless entei has a +speed nature, its speed would always be a predictable and relatively low 105 at level 50, which is what it's encountered at. so i had to get an ariados with a speed of 106 or higher.
to get around both these problems as efficiently as possible, while breeding spinarak, i bred quite a few to get one with a +speed nature, and ended up with a jolly spinarak. everstone doesn't work in FRLG unfortunately, so the nature was completely random each time. soon my DAUGHTER WAS BORN after like 2-3 hours of breeding because FRLG eggs are SLOOOW and i was being stubborn about the nature, which i was getting unlucky on LOL
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then i maxed out her speed EVs real quick by fighting picnicker susie on route 13 over and over, who gives 12 speed EVs per battle, 24 with the macho brace, which i was using. this was just to make sure i would reach 106+ speed as fast as possible. then i grinded her levels by repetitively fighting the two trainers right outside the weird chansey dance guy's house in sevault canyon on seven island, right above tanoby ruins. using the vs seeker on them is the best grinding spot in the game since they give 20k experience per fighting both of them and there's a healing spot Right There. i was using exp share and leading with my level 100 jolteon named Egg who i adore with all my heart. ariados, now named koolaid, ended up crossing the speed threshold at level 62! yes this took a while lmao
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as for electrode, i wanted one at as high of a level as possible so i hopefully wouldn't have to grind levels. i lucked out as electrode is found at a whopping level 64 in cerulean cave's bottom floor. a 5% encounter rate but as i had already caught numerous 5%s for the pokedex, i didn't really care. however it DOES have explosion and i'd rather not have the electrode explode on me before i could catch it which would then send me on a wild goose chase for ANOTHER 5% electrode… so i grabbed the random level 24 poliwhirl with the damp ability, which prevents explosion from working, out of my PC, and gave it a smoke ball from the celadon game corner so i could lead with her and easily run from each encounter that Wasn't Electrode.
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now you may be wondering how i was going to handle capturing electrode once i was actually in the battle because SURELY it would just use thunderbolt or something and instantly murder my poliwhirl. however funnily enough electrode only has two attacking moves at level 64, swift and explosion. explosion obviously doesn't work, and swift is a physical attack in gen 3 due to all normal type moves being physical, this was before the physical/special split in gen 4. electrode's physical attack stat is a garbage 50 and swift only has a base power of 60 so i honestly wasn't concerned. and best of all, poliwhirl gets the move hypnosis, so i could easily put electrode to sleep and start chucking ultra balls… and the smoke ball ended up being useless because i somehow ran into electrode first try what the fuck LOL
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anyways i named them gatorade to match with koolaid. truly the dream entei capturing team. i didn't even feel the need to grind any levels on gatorade, level 64 was more than enough, so i just slapped the two moves i wanted on them - thunder wave through the one-use tutor in silph co, and sonicboom through the move reminder on two island, costing me two tinymushrooms which i thankfully already had and did not have to go out of my way to grind.
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however the hours worth of prep ISN'T DONE YET! because uhh…
PROBLEM #3: ariados has to be above entei's level to outspeed it (yes, even if it had a 31 IV in speed AND a speed boosting nature AND maximum speed EVs, it still wouldn't be enough at level 50), which means the repel trick can't be used to encounter it. tracking down the roamer is practically impossible without using repels to cancel out all other wild pokemon, and in gen 3, unlike later gens, you can't put a fainted pokemon in the front of the party for the repel trick instead. and if i DON'T lead with ariados, entei will run away when i try to swap into it. SO i decided i would have to run into entei once first through the repel trick method, which marks it as "seen" in the pokedex, and then i would track its location through the pokedex to encounter it while leading with ariados.
to accomplish this, i simply ran in and out of the building on route 16, going in and out of the grass in the process, which would constantly be randomizing entei's location until it happened to randomize onto route 16. i caught a staryu with illuminate as an ability to raise the chance of entei appearing, which does work while staryu is fainted (wouldn't want to go in and out of the grass while entei was on route 16 without encountering it!) and otherwise led with my level 50 magmar that was on my elite four team named Torch for the repel trick.
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i bought a whopping 100 max repels for this task but i ended up getting entei within just a few lol. torch was holding the smoke ball just to be able to run away safely without any shenanigans!
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and now entei was in the pokedex and able to be tracked that way!
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however, there was still ONE more problem...
PROBLEM #4: luxury balls are a pain in the ASS to get in this game! they can't be bought from any shop. the only way to repeatedly get luxury balls in FRLG is to show a pokemon to selphy, a rich girl who lives in resort gorgeous on five island.
i will mostly skim over this because it's boring, but TLDR i had to continuously talk to her, fly back to the pokemon center, get the pokemon she wanted to see out of the PC because the step limit is 250 before she gets sick of waiting which is like nothing (i already had a living dex of every mon obtainable in leafgreen otherwise so this wasn't hard), surf to her, then spam A through dialogue with her butler in which i had a 70% chance of receiving a luxury ball. i did this over 40 times until i had 30 luxury balls, and sold off all the nuggets and other items she gave me. good lord this took a while
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and now with ALL of that setup i was FINALLY ready to capture entei in a luxury ball. this took me literally all day and i was really excited. to consistently encounter entei, i saved in cerulean city and tracked it in the pokedex from there, opening it over and over after changing to any of the four routes connected to the city, and moving to an adjacent route from entei's location when it was close in the hopes of walking onto the same route it moved to when i did. i was following a map made by hangarofroam, he has a video tutorial on how to shiny hunt the FRLG roamers and encounter them as quickly as possible, and i highly recommend looking it up if you want to capture these roamers yourself, but tldr this is the map i was using:
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and once i encountered entei i was finally able to use the strategy i had prepped so long to do... and it worked without a hitch!! entei can't try to use roar first turn because it wastes a turn trying to flee, which is prevented by ariados outspeeding and using spider web... then if it tries to use roar the next turn, i've already switched into electrode to block it with soundproof. so from there it's just a matter of whittling down entei's HP to the red with swift/sonicboom and paralyzing it with thunder wave, then tossing luxury balls until success!
and i GOT IT after 3 encounter attempts and 73 luxury balls thrown. and FINALLY i have all 171 national dex entries possible in a single copy of leafgreen with no connection to other games, and all the legendaries are in fancy ass luxury balls. i am winning.
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this was ridiculous. please be proud of my accomplishments. i've had this file for less than 2 weeks and i already have over 70 hours of gameplay in it after doing all this AAAAA
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also barely related but look at Egg my jolteon he had like no purpose in this story but i took a pic of him in front of entei before going on to capture entei because i love him so much pleas
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thanks for coming to my fucking ted talk i am SOOO normal about pokemonsdfjkfds (joke)
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radiance1 · 7 months
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Danny hates John Constantine.
Well, he doesn't him, but he does hate whenever Constantine needs him.
Each and every summon was just... not ideal, for him at least.
He was summoned while he was about to go sleep.
Summoned when he was asleep.
Summoned when he was going to the bathroom.
Summoned when he was using the bathroom.
Summoned while he was getting ready to take a bath.
Summoned when he was in a bath.
Summoned while in the middle of undressing/redressing.
Summoned while getting attacked by living food.
Summoned when he was about to fall flat on his face.
You know, very embarrassing things.
The most recent time he was summoned was the most embarrassing he's ever been seen though.
He was currently hiding in one of his 'safehouses' from a run in with both his parents and the GIW, now normally, that wouldn't be a problem. Because both his healing factor, durability, and wit would usually get him off home free.
Not this time.
The GIW apparently had some new technology that, while experimental, was made specifically against ghost, and while that's basically most of their tech this one was... different.
Safe to say, he got hit more than one, and then for the first time since, well, forever he's had to run for his life. He managed to get away from them, trying to hold his wounds together with his hands and into an alleyway, that he planned to phase through to get to the nearest 'safe house' (that was really just an abandoned building with some medical supplies that he never needed to use) when his father found him.
He got shot, again, and fell to the floor. He looked at his father with an expression he doesn't even know, but he knew he was scared.
Whatever Jack Fenton saw that stalled him from shooting, and instead a pained look on his face, Danny would probably never know. But he took that time to phase through the wall and book it to the safe house.
Safe to say, he uh, wasn't having the greatest time.
He tried sewing up his wounds, and that wasn't the greatest thing, because his hands were shaky both from pain and feeling like he would faint, using alcohol was even worse, really. The black spots trying to cover his eyes made it harder to see where exactly he was sewing, but he would take that over nothing.
Plus, also, how he didn't know how to sew.
He managed to bandage up most of the major wounds, though it was sloppy as shit. He was just getting to the last one, which was a pretty massive one over his chest that he poured alcohol on.
His shaky hands made him spill far more than he intended, and he had to bite down on something to stop him from screaming. Maybe he shouldn't have done that.
His hands were shaking, but he just had to apply this last bandage, sloppy as it would be, and then he could somehow try and find his way home and then go out like a light.
Which made it unfortunate, that Constantine decided this would be the best time to summon him.
He hates being the ghost prince sometimes, this is one of those times.
He expected only Constantine, so imagine his surprise when he was standing (Oh shit he think he'll either puke, fall down, or both.) in front of way more than just Constantine.
He thinks Constantine said they were the Justice League or something? He doesn't really remember, both with the pain and taking in details from another dimension wasn't really his thing.
The room was extremely quite, so, so very quiet. Said quiet made Danny feel extremely uncomfortable, and fidgety under all of their combined gazes.
So he cracked a joke.
Not his best one, he would admit, but it was funny at least!
So why was he the only one laughing?
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luveline · 6 months
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lovely jade if you were ever in the mood to write something for remus/reader where maybe they’re out with their friends and reader can tell that remus’ pain is flaring up but he doesn’t want to draw attention to it so she nudges him to lean on her i would be forever indebted to you
Remus has a strange laugh. It doesn't quite match his voice, which is unusual too. Sometimes he chuckles but mostly he giggles, this stringing, sweet sound as he grasps your hand or your arm or your elbow. And you love hearing it, laughing yourself at Sirius’ dirty joke, but you almost wince at the amount of weight he leans into you. It's over as soon as it began, he's moving away, his smile fading with his laugh. 
You shouldn't be standing up, but the pub hadn't had a table and no one wanted to go home yet. You're waiting for an opening, a pitcher of Blue Lagoon between you all and a couple of bags of pork scratchings to ignore. Remus isn't made to stand this long, but it's not like him to mention it. 
His jeans are starched under your fingers as you put a hand on his hip. He raises his eyebrows at you, semi-suggestive. 
“She asked me who I was,” Sirius says, to Lily's disgust, and James’ poorly hidden amusement, “and I didn't have the heart to tell her. Remus ended up telling her we'd met before at a party–” 
“Is this true?” you ask, standing closer to him than you need to. 
He stares at you for a little while. Not long enough to be awkward, but longer than most people would pause. “I did feel a bit sorry for her, but she was lucky, really. Who'd want to remember a night with Pads?” 
“Don't say it like that! I didn't touch the poor girl beyond helping her put a new shirt on. Such an unfortunate tattoo, that… It'd look nice on you, though,” Sirius says, grinning at James encouragingly. 
“Think so?” James asks. 
Lily protests this idea very loudly. James would not suit that kind of tattoo, and Remus should probably put a stop to it; Sirius’ power of persuasion multiplied by the danger of friendship (i.e. egging each other on relentlessly) could genuinely result in James getting a tramp stamp of the Welsh dragon before the night ends. 
He's distracted, is all. Shifting from foot to foot, pulling his arms behind his back to prompt a click he won't get. You nudge him gently, and when he meets your eyes, you lean toward him deliberately with your shoulder clear for the grabbing. At the same time, you press your arm behind his back. 
Miraculously, he accepts the offer of support. Remus wraps an arm around your shoulder and lets the majority of his weight rest on your centre of gravity, exhaling through his nose. 
“Am I too much?” he asks, turning his head from his friends, his breath warming the shell of your ear. 
“No. Lean on me as much as you want to.” Want, you say, rather than need. 
Remus will appreciate the difference. He sighs as the pain in his back starts to ease off. If anyone were to look at you both, they wouldn't see you supporting him, just a lovers hug. You kiss his cheek a couple of times all squished together —one kiss or multiple?— before you lean away to brush soft strands of his hair behind his ear. “You okay?” you ask. 
“I'm okay,” he says with a nod, a real grin on his lips as he does as you'd done, kissing your cheek. “I'm too tired for this. Do you think James can afford laser tattoo removal?” 
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lincolndjarin · 4 months
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Every Now and Then - ch. one
[ I Dream of Something Wild ]
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pairing : joel miller x f!reader, platonicsoulmate!tommy & f!reader
word count : 6.4k
summary : Joel Miller destroyed you. He loved you, then he left, leaving you in the New York City, QZ. But he's a good southern gentleman, so of course he didn't leave you without a reminder of the time you spent together. Four years later you're living in Jackson, in a lovely little ranch house. (With your reminder.) The last person you want to see is Joel Miller, unfortunately you've never been particularly lucky.
tags/warnings : 18+ mdni, angst, canon typical violence, injury, language, manipulation, joel takes advantage of readers situation, eventual smut, no use of y/n, no physical description of reader, she is picked up by joel at one point but i'm a firm believer that he's strong enough to lift any one who may find themselves in the pov of our reader, joel is possessive and controlling, dark!joel miller in a sense?? like he's not really dark now but he's going to be, multiple time lines, not canon compliant, mentions of prostitution, i sorta made up my own timeline, i probs missed tags sorry!!
a/n : i really need to fix my writing schedule so i'm hoping that having a new fic to put my energy into is going to help!! also sorry if this chapter doesn't have much going on i need to set up a lot of stuff but i promise more action in future chapters
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ao3 .𖥔 ݁ ˖ series masterlist .𖥔 ݁ ˖ main masterlist .𖥔 ݁ ˖ kofi
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He crept up on you like the shadows as the sun sets in the west. An all encompassing darkness that blotted out the sun until all that was left was night. He sunk his claws into you so deep that your eyes adjusted to the dark, and you didn’t even realize how much time had passed until you shrunk away from the inevitable sunrise that made him cower away from the dawn as if he never really was big and scary. 
And in the light of day you saw him for what he really was.
He was just a man, who was once a boy, who was scared of the dark. 
So he made himself big, and terrifying, and he grew so accustomed to the thing he once feared that the very idea of anything else made him recoil.
You feel something akin to pity when you think of him now. That doesn’t mean you forgive him, but when you can stomach it you try to, for the sake of your peace. You’d probably be happier if you could just forgive him. 
But you can’t.
So you don’t. 
It’s hard when his own blood doesn’t think he’s a good man. Tommy was afraid of him. Terrified at the very thought of his big brother. You can recall several nights where you had woken up to him screaming in the sleeping bag beside you, absolutely petrified of a memory that had inevitably snuck in through the darkness. You never feared him quite like that, but seeing the effect he has on Tommy makes your stomach churn, a painful reminder of your own suffering.    
Most of the time it’s easier to just not think of him at all, despite the reminders he’s branded into you forever. You ignore him when he tries to soak back into your very being, but at the end of the day he’s unavoidable. You see him in the dark brown eyes of others, hear him in Tommy’s southern drawl, taste him when you have the occasional sip of whiskey. He tries and tries relentlessly to worm his way back into you, but you never let him. You put up walls and you focus on other things, anything, that isn’t Joel Miller. And even though you can’t forget him entirely you manage to ignore the memory of the man you once loved for several years.  
Until one day it’s impossible to keep the thought of him away. 
Until he himself makes it impossible.
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Then - NEW YORK CITY, QUARANTINE ZONE : 2019
“Stay off of it or you’re going to lose it.”
That’s what the QZ doctor had told you. A couple weeks of bed rest was the most he could offer when you came to him with your broken ankle. 
A couple weeks without working is a death sentence. 
If you don’t work you won’t be able to afford food. And you don’t have anybody to fall back on, no family, no friends, not even an acquaintance to borrow funds from. 
Lose your leg or starve. 
As appealing as it sounds, starvation isn’t an option, too painful. 
So you have to work. The only issue with that is you’ve been blacklisted, the stupid doctor had you put on a no-shift list. You beg them to let you work, you’ll do anything, but they never budge. 
You only have enough ration cards stocked up to make it to the end of the week so you have to consider your other options. You could sell yourself. It certainly isn’t uncommon and the money’s good but it’s too dangerous, especially if you can’t run on your leg. You’ve seen too many people get hurt in that profession to risk it. You don’t have a trade. You’re terrible at sewing, you can’t cook, there isn’t a need for much of anything else and you own nothing valuable. 
So there’s only one other option for you. 
You steal. 
You dress inconspicuously, in your only pair of jeans and a plain shirt, both of which are getting rather tattered at this point but you have nothing else. With your jacket on you pull up your hood and you do the exact thing you aren’t supposed to do, and you walk. 
The conditions in the QZ are poor enough that your limp doesn’t stand out. You walk up and down the streets all day, slow and steady, with your head down and you don’t take risks. You don’t take anything big or obvious, just little things. A single ration card peeking out of a pocket, a pocket knife off a vendor's table, stale bread, set away from the good stuff where no one is looking. And you return home each night with your pockets full and your leg aching. 
By the end of your second week you’re still barely scraping by but you’re managing. What little ration cards you manage to snatch you use to buy food, but it’s still nothing compared to what you’re used to making. Your ankle feels worse by the day. 
You need more. 
You need to find a source of income that will let you rest or you’re going to lose your leg, which will leave you in an even worse position. It isn’t until you hear your neighbor slam his door that you come up with an idea. 
Your neighbor probably has more cards than he knows what to do with, and he’s always coming and going so he probably wouldn’t even notice if you skimmed a little off the top. Nothing substantial, just enough to keep you going and give your leg time to heal. 
The only problem is your neighbors reputation. 
You doubt you’d have much of a chance of surviving him if you got caught. Joel Miller was a bit of an urban legend around the QZ. Of course you only knew him as your stoic neighbor, just a guy who didn’t make a lot of noise and came home at strange hours, and sometimes disappeared for days at a time. 
But everyone else acted as if he was some kind of Boogey Man. You didn’t see him much in the streets but when you did children ran and people whispered, and while you had no knowledge of how he earned that reputation you knew it probably wasn’t pretty. 
So you’d have to be careful. 
He’s gone now, you’d heard him stopping down the hall so you decide it couldn’t hurt to take a peek, just scout out the area. 
You climb out onto the fire escape, your leg aching as you do, and you use the dull little knife you’d stolen a few days ago to shimmy open his window lock. It slides open pretty easily, he’s probably rather confident that nobody would ever mess with him so he doesn’t seem to have the usual precautions taken to protect his belongings. 
Lucky you. 
Stepping into the room you wince as you land on your bad leg, stumbling onto the floor, knocking a board loose in the process. 
“Shit.” You groan, sitting up quickly, trying to put everything back in its proper place when you catch a glimmer of something under the floor. 
A revolver. 
You shouldn’t be here. Joel Miller is a dangerous man, you knew that but you did this anyway, you can’t help but feel incredibly stupid as you stare at the weapon. You feel so stupid that you don’t even hear the click of a lock. You don’t even bother with the ration cards you can see peeking out from under the gun, you just want to leave and forget that you ever thought this was a good idea. It’s a struggle, getting back to your feet, your leg is throbbing, begging for a rest you can’t afford to take right now. With a groan you push the window open, eager for this silly idea to be over you try to figure out the best way to go about this. You’re starting to lose feeling in your leg, should you go bad leg first or try to balance on it while shimmying the rest of your body out the window? 
You never get to decide what the best course of action is because your head is slammed against the wall, your knees crumple underneath you as you hit the floor, the room spinning as your leg bends at an angle that makes you shriek. You slap your hand over your mouth but it’s far too late for that. He’s been here the whole time. It’s dark but you can still make out the foreboding shape of his figure. The broad shouldered beast that’s glaring down at you, his boot nudging your chin roughly as you bite back a shriek of fear. 
“I could report you to FEDRA for this.” The gruff voice whispers into the darkness. 
You’re desperate to avoid lockup, you know you’ll die in there, or worse. Although you’re not entirely sure what’s going to happen to you either way. 
“I- I’ll tell them about your contraband.” You point frantically at the loose floor board. “They’ll lock you up too.” His glare is unwavering as he stares down at you. You’re a little worried that he might just kill you himself, there would be no consequences, no one would be looking for you. 
No one would look for you. 
The thought makes you shudder and even though you try to stop yourself you feel your eyes beginning to water. You hear footsteps, watching his outline move across the room before you’re shrinking away from the light of a dim lamp in the corner. 
“You gotta be real dumb to find yourself in this situation.” He mutters, turning back around to stare at you. His gaze makes you want to cover yourself up, it’s like he can see every single part of you within that icy glare. You’ve never taken the time to really, truly look at him before but you do now, after all this might be your last chance to look at anything at all. 
He isn’t a terrible last sight. 
Sure, he’s ominous enough to make you want to try and run despite the ache in your calf right now, but that doesn’t make him any less handsome. In a rugged, weathered sort of way. He’s older than you thought, gray sprinkled throughout the mess of curls framing his face. What a nice face it is. Soft where it needs to be soft, sharp where it needs to be sharp. He marches back over to you, easily taking the pocket knife from your hand and crouching down in front of you.
“Give me one good reason not to finish you off right now.” He points the blade in the direction of your leg. “Seems like it’d be a mercy at this point.” 
Maybe he’s right. 
Maybe it would be a mercy to just let him put you out of your misery. Why have you been fighting so hard? You can’t seem to recall a reason other than the fact that that’s what you’re supposed to do. Your mind tells you that you’re supposed to keep fighting but you can’t think of a single driving force. You’re in pain, constantly, you live in a world that wants you dead, and you have no one relying on you. 
You don’t have a good reason, other than the fact that surviving is all you know how to do. So you look up at him and you nod. Taking in the sight of the pretty, frightening man one last time before closing your eyes. 
It feels good. You feel good, for the first time in a long time, knowing that you won’t hurt anymore. You won’t have to be afraid of someone kicking your door in, you won’t have to worry about where your next meal is going to come from, and you won’t have to worry about turning into a monster. It’s a mercy.
So you close your eyes.
Suddenly grateful for the killer before you, your guardian angel, here to deliver you the peace you didn’t know you needed. 
You wait patiently for the sting of a blade or the embrace of his hands around your throat but all you're met with is a sigh. When you finally find the courage to open your eyes he’s sitting on the edge of the bed across from you, fingers pinching the bridge of his nose. 
“Just go.” He grumbles, muttering a few other words you don’t catch. 
You’re almost disappointed, having accepted this was the end, and now you’re being shoved back into the cold and unforgiving world. You start to get to your feet but your knees buckle under you. You try again, willing your leg to just work but much to your dismay you can’t even straighten out your leg anymore. When you try to move it all you find yourself only able to bend your knee a few inches.
Shit. 
You think of the fall you took on the way in and wonder if you finally pushed yourself to the limit. If you go back to the doctor will he remove the entire thing? Maybe you should just ask Joel to finish the job before it comes to that. It would be a kindness, between a quick death here or a slow death starving in your apartment you’ll take the quick way every time. Before you even have a chance to ask he’s on his feet. Maybe his patience has run out and you won’t have to ask at all. 
“Let me.” His voice rattles around in your head, so low and commanding that you put up no resistance as he lifts you up under your arms and sets you down on the edge of the bed where he just was. He flips the knife out, going to cut your jeans off of you but you stop him.
“Wait!” He freezes in place, giving you an impatient look. “These are my only jeans, just- just pull them down.” Before you can realize how embarrassing it might be to show your neighbor your faded pink panties, you're already unbuttoning your pants, lifting your hips up so he can pull them down your legs with a roll of his eyes. It’s painful, the feeling of the denim running against your skin but it’s better than not having any pants at all. 
Fuck. 
It’s been a while since you’ve actually looked at your leg. You’re surprised he was able to get your jeans off with how swollen it is, the flesh bulging around your ankle and now up your calf. The skin is shiny and blotchy with shades of purple and red. The sight of it makes you want to hurl but you manage to swallow the urge, looking away as he pokes at the tender flesh. 
“Christ girl, what the hell did you do?” When he grabs your ankle to lift your leg you yelp in pain, making him set your leg back down instinctively. 
“I just- it’s just a broken ankle.” You mumble as he gives you an incredulous look.
“Like hell it is.” Something about the sternness of his voice demands your obedience as you nod. “Wanna tell me what really happened?” 
“Well I- I fell and-” You struggle to find an excuse to justify how bad you let this get but you come up empty. So you tell the truth. “I fell off a ladder while painting over graffiti during my shift and broke my ankle. The doctor told me to stay off of it and- well, I couldn’t afford not to work so I just… didn’t” You rush through your words, staring anywhere else but into his demanding gaze as you explain yourself. 
“So you turned to stealin’.” He says it like the fact it is and you can only bring yourself to nod. “You need antibiotics.” He says just as matter of factly. “You know how much that sort of thing costs?” 
A lot. 
More than you’d have even if you were working overtime. 
He clears his throat and you finally meet his eyes. 
His eyes were so dark that day they threatened to swallow you whole. Were they always that dark? Or was it just that day, the first day, when he realized that he had you. 
“Look, I don’t do this kinda thing for just anybody. But I can help you.” He had sounded so kind, his hint of a smile had seemed so promising. 
“I can’t afford it-”
“You can use alternative methods to pay me back.” 
You told him you’d think about it. 
And he hadn’t pushed you, he had simply helped you back into your jeans and carried you back to your apartment. He told you he’d check on you tomorrow and see if you had an answer for him.
So when the next day came and you had a fever and your leg was throbbing, demanding your attention you’d been all too eager to accept his help. 
And just like that, it was your idea. 
It wasn’t his, he was blameless, you asked him to help you. And it didn’t matter who had suggested it first, it mattered who brought it up after. 
You had been certain that when he had told you you’d be using alternative methods to pay him back that his intentions were unsavory. And at that point you didn’t really care, you’d made your peace with that. The medicine you needed wasn’t cheap and you could find worse looking men who didn’t take care of themselves the way Joel did. 
But he wanted nothing of the sort. 
Southern Manners.
All he wanted was for you to take care of his apartment when he was out with his business partner, a woman who didn’t seem to dislike you but certainly didn’t care for you. He told you to take a week to just rest, take the medicine he brought you, eat the food that he fed you, and be good. So you did as he asked. And after a week you could move a bit more, you started spending your days at Joel’s tidying up and organizing while he was gone, it was much easier to stay off your leg for most of the day and he always made sure there was food and books for you while he was gone. And when he returned he would help you hobble back to your place and help you into bed without complaint and with a promise that he’d be back in the morning. 
But you still don’t relax around him.
It doesn’t make sense. Even someone who wasn’t known for their cruelty wouldn’t just take a stranger in. You’d like to believe that there’s good in people but you know better than to have that kind of faith. There isn’t enough left of the world to share the remains. Yet Joel does. He doesn’t ask to know you better and he certainly doesn’t tell you about himself yet he shows you more kindness than anyone else in your life has before. 
He must like having someone to take care of. 
That’s how you explain it to yourself. 
You watch him with Tess and it’s clear who’s in charge there, she barely even lets him stitch her up when she returns to the apartment. Joel gets frustrated every time, huffing and pacing around the room before finding some way to tend to you in her place. Icing your leg, or bringing you a new book to read, or feeding you. 
It took a few months for your leg to heal, it had been in such bad shape a part of you worried that it might never be the same as it once was. 
After the first month of your arrangement Joel told you his knees hurt and he wouldn’t be able to carry you home, you offered to just walk yourself over, your leg didn’t hurt that bad anymore and you were more than capable of walking short distances. But he insisted you stay, told you you could sleep in the bed and he’d take the couch.
But his knees hurt, you couldn’t let him do that. 
And you told him you’d take the couch and he told you he wouldn’t feel right making you sleep on the couch with your leg the way it was. 
So you told him you’d both just sleep in the bed. It wasn’t a big deal. You trusted him, of course you did, he had an opportunity to exploit you and he didn’t, if he was going to hurt you he would have done it already. 
He had acted unsure. 
You know now that it was acting. 
So you had insisted. You told him it was okay, you told him you felt safe with him. 
It was your idea. 
Even though it hadn’t been your idea to stay that night.
You had insisted he get in the bed with you. 
A fact that he would bring up often in the months to come. 
He would still help you to your apartment some nights, but just as often he’d complain about his knees and you’d stay. You got used to his warmth, you got used to waking up in his arms and not talking about it in the morning. 
So it made sense when he told you that you should keep your pajamas at his apartment. 
It made sense when he got a toothbrush for you to keep in his bathroom cabinet. 
It made sense when he told you that he couldn’t find new clothes in your size and you could just wear his. 
It made sense when he told you that he and Tess had never been a thing, so you had no reason to feel weird about sleeping in his bed. 
And it made sense when he told you that he’d hold onto the keys to your apartment, afterall you wouldn’t want to lose them. 
Joel Miller was a glue trap. And you had waded across his sticky surface without a care in the world, never realizing that it was getting harder and harder to move until you were standing still. Until the only way you were going to escape was by biting off your own leg. 
You don’t remember when you stopped returning to your own apartment completely, but you know that it happened early on, before you’d even started chewing. 
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Now - JACKSON, WYOMING : 2023
“Ruth?” You’re gonna be late if you don’t find her soon. The turntable in the corner of the kitchen plays a 3 Doors Down song as you lift the table cloth, searching for the little girl. “We don’t have time to play, we need to get you to school.” You groan, turning to face the boy currently sitting in a highchair he’s just about grown out of. “Do you know where she is?” You cross your arms in front of your chest, glaring at him as he shrugs. 
Of course he isn’t going to tell. They look out for each other before anyone else, a fact that normally fills you with joy but not when they’re ganging up against you. Thankfully you catch his eye as he shoots a glance at the pantry. Pulling the door open you’re quickly met with the sight of Ruth, giggling on the floor. You pick her up, putting her in her own highchair before setting a plate of fruits down in front of her.
“Eat. We don’t have time to play this morning, young lady.” You poke your fork in her direction as you sit down across from them.
“Eat.” She repeats in a mocking tone, her brother erupting into a fit of giggles at the impression as you sigh. They need to be at the community center in half an hour. You make the job schedules on Friday and you need as much time as possible if you want to finish them in one day. You’re having a hard time focusing on the mess your son is making as he smashes each blueberry down onto the table before popping them into his mouth as you try to schedule your own weekend. 
You need to finish all of your work today while the kids are gone so you don’t have to juggle watching them and working later, it shouldn’t be too much of an issue, scheduling should only take a few hours if you really zero in on it. You have dinner with Tommy and Maria tomorrow and you promised to bring dessert so you’ll have to take the kids to the market tonight, which also means you’re going to have to find supplies to barter with before you go. 
You have nothing planned on Sunday.
You’ll have to change that. 
You hate having nothing to do.
You’re snapped out of your thoughts as a blueberry hits you in the forehead. Both twins laugh now as you frown at them. 
“Behave or I’ll tell your aunt that you’ve been bad.” Both children look at each other nervously before returning to their breakfast. You were never stern enough with them. You loved them too much, you couldn’t ever bring yourself to yell at them, and it wasn’t like they were troublemakers by any means, they were just kids with a lot of energy in the mornings. And when they did misbehave a small threat of telling Maria was enough to make them stop whatever it was they were doing. 
You finish up your own plate and start getting ready to leave as the kids start giggling again to themselves. When their plates are empty you use a wet washcloth to clean their hands and faces before lifting each of them out of their respective seats, letting them run off a bit more energy before you head out. You set all three bags down in front of the door. Yours being the beige over the shoulder bag accompanied by two little backpacks. Ruth’s green canvas bag is covered in mud and other remnants of the yard that she’s brought in with her but Arthur’s purple backpack is kept neat and tidy. You slip into your coat before turning just in time to watch your son dive into the couch, quickly followed by his sister. 
“Come on little ducks. Time for school.” You take their jackets off the hook, holding them out to them as they rush over to you, tugging their own coats on before grabbing their bags, once you pull the door open they both rush out into the cool autumn morning, talking to each other in hushed tones. Always secrets with those two. It would probably make you a little worried if these were normal circumstances, the way they don’t let anyone in except each other, with you being the only exception. But the world is a terrifying place, it brings you peace to know that they have each other. 
A part of you is certain you wouldn’t have been able to handle just one. 
One little person relying on you, all while you’re doing your best to hold it all together? It sounds like a nightmare. It’s better that they have each other. Once you’re standing outside the community center, busy with parents dropping off their children, you kneel down. 
“Be good, if you behave today you can go to the market tonight.” The promise of the market has both of them grinning, showing off the teeth they’ve both recently had grow in. “I love you, I’ll see you in a bit.” You hold open your arms, each of them taking their respective sides as they wrap themselves around you. You take your daughter's face in your hands before pressing a kiss to her forehead, repeating the motion with your son. After a few “love you mama’s” they both run into the building, once you’re sure they’re safe inside you head off in the direction of town hall. 
You have what you would call the best job in town, despite the fact that no one else seems to want to do it. 
Maria understood when you arrived that you needed something that let you work from home if needed, you needed something that kept your mind busy but also gave you time with the kids. So you took care of the parts of Jackson most didn’t think about. 
You document all of the citizens, you make the shift schedules, and you make sure everyone has the necessities. You take care of housing, when big hauls from scavenging come in you divide them up among the people who need them. You make the meal schedules for the dining hall, and you make the crop schedules. 
You keep Jackson moving. 
When you arrived all of this was Maria’s job along with her other duties, when you told her you wanted something engaging and demanding she was more than willing to pass off those duties to you. So now you’ve got to make the schedule. Town hall is nothing more than a house with several desks for people doing work similar to yours but thankfully you’ve been lucky enough to reserve your own office in one of the bedrooms. 
Most Friday's Maria visits you for lunch but you know she’s on patrol currently, another perk of this job is knowing where everyone is, all the time.
No surprises. 
You hate surprises. (With a few exceptions.)
One of the exceptions is waiting for you in your office, Tommy sits with his legs up on your desk, reading over this past week's schedule. 
“You put me on crop harvest way more than anyone else.” He grumbles, tossing your notebook down.
“It’s the end of the season, everyones on crop harvest.” You lean down, kissing his cheek before taking your place across from him, immediately getting to work as he groans. 
“Maria gets to go on patrol.” 
“Council gets first dibs on patrols during harvest season.” The tip of your favorite pen is dry so you quickly bring it to your mouth, wetting it with your tongue before you start writing out jobs for this upcoming week. The second he sees how many farming related jobs you’re listing he leans back in his chair, groaning and running his fingers through his dark curls. 
Today’s his day off. You always gave anyone doing more manual labor three days off instead of two. 
“I can get you on one patrol shift but they’re going to need your help with the corn.” You write his name in with the Monday and Tuesday patrol squad, filling in the rest of his week with harvest as he grins. 
“Thank you, darlin’.” He drawls. You hate that nickname, you hate that he isn’t the first to give it to you but you never complain, you’d let Tommy get away with murder at this point. It’s the least you can do considering everything he’s given you. 
“Yeah yeah, whatever. You’re only getting a two-day weekend next week.” You mumble, searching through the list of citizens, trying to pick out the people you know won’t mind the hard work. 
“Fine by me.” You have a complicated relationship with that smile of his. You can love it all you want but that doesn’t change the fact that it makes you uneasy, it doesn’t help that you’re starting to see that same smile in your son. 
“I was thinking about berry cobbler for tomorrow night.” Molly twisted her ankle last week, make sure she isn’t standing. You put her down for shucking corn, she can sit in the dining hall and work. 
“We have a bunch of extra sweet potatoes if you want to make sweet potato pie.” He takes your crop ledger, flipping through it, clearly not reading a thing. 
“Ruth hates sweet potatoes.” Marcus insists he’s capable of doing manual labor, his pride won’t let him act his age. You put him down for pushing the wheelbarrows, he won’t have to bend down to pick anything up but hopefully he’ll still feel like he’s doing enough. You’ve told him countless times that at his age he shouldn’t be working so hard but he always insists. 
“Shit, forgot about that. Maria might have some apples.” 
“I’ll stop by tonight before I take the kids to the market.” 
You’re thankful for Tommy.
He keeps your mind busy with conversation while you work, and he’s one of the only people you actually trust. By the time you’re almost done you know you need to go get the kids, with a conflicted glance at the clock you start to gather your things but Tommy beats you to it.
“I’ll go get them, Maria should be home from patrol soon, she’ll want to see them.” He’s already putting his coat on so you stay seated. 
“Are you sure?” You already know there’s no reason to argue, he’s stubborn, just like his brother. 
“It’s the least I can do to make up for bothering you all day.” He steps around the desk to give you a peck on the cheek before going to leave. “Just come by the house when you’re done, no rush.” And just like that he’s gone. 
You make quick work of your remaining duties. Finishing everything within a half an hour before heading out in the direction of the Miller’s farm house on the edge of town. It’s only a few houses away from your ranch house, a fact that you couldn’t be more grateful for, if it weren’t for Tommy and Maria you aren’t sure you’d have been able to handle those first few months of parenthood. Most people in town assumed Tommy must be the father purely based on how much effort he put into taking care of not only them, but you as well. As you make your way up their porch steps and into the living room you’re also reminded of the similarities. You can’t blame people for making assumptions, even Maria thought he was the father. The twins have his eyes, (which by association means that they also have his eyes, but you try not to dwell on that.) Ruth has your nose but Arthur has that Miller curve already starting to show on his little nose. Both little ones are sitting in the big recliner with their uncle as he tries to get them to settle down while he reads to them but the second they see you, both are scrambling out of the chair to hug your legs. 
And everything goes exactly how it’s supposed to. 
(Of course it does, you plan every day down to the minute.) 
You give Tommy the list of things you need along with a few things he can trade them for and he takes the kids down the street to the market as you sit at the kitchen counter, talking to Maria about her patrol. You had all planned to go to the market together but she’d insisted she was tired and you didn’t want her to be here alone so you stayed, helping her cook dinner. And you talked about all the things you knew you would, something cute the kids did, how her patrol went, what things you could put on the dining hall menu in the coming weeks. 
It’s all exactly how it should be. 
Until she frowns. 
“Are you busy Sunday?” You had sensed something was wrong with her but you assumed maybe she was just a little rattled coming off of a three day patrol. 
“No, did you need something?” You continue to chop up the sweet potatoes she now planned to use tonight instead of tomorrow. 
“We found a couple of strays, I thought maybe we could get them settled in.” 
Odd. 
Normally finding survivors would be the first thing she mentioned after returning, even stranger is the fact that she’d often waste no time getting them supplies and a home to make their own. But you're not one to question Maria’s judgment.
“Sure, we can do that Sunday morning.” You want to ask questions about it but she’s already changed the subject to doing a clothing drive at the community center so you don’t press. Despite the way the look on her face is bothering you.
It wasn’t fear, or discomfort, or something you could explain away with the excuse of the strays being off putting or violent. 
It’s a look of pity. 
As if she feels bad for even asking. 
It unsettles you enough to leave it be. Making idle chit chat with her until Tommy returns with the twins and you take them home. It unsettles you as you make your own dinner, as you give the twins a bath, and as you help them into their pajamas and read them a story. It never leaves your mind. 
“Goodnight Ruthie.” You lean down to kiss her forehead, watching her eyes flutter shut as she continues to fight sleep. Always the stubborn one. 
“Night Mama.” You take the stuffed bear from the foot of her bed, tucking it in beside her before quietly standing, walking across the room to your son's bed. 
“Goodnight Arthur.” You lean down, kissing both of his rosy cheeks, he doesn’t fight sleep the way his sister does. So similar but so different. 
“Goodnight Mama.” His little voice has the same southern drawl you know he’s been picking up from Tommy. 
“I love you, little ducks.” You smile at him, turning to see that Ruth is already asleep, you tuck in the blankets around Arthur before leaving, keeping the door cracked open a bit so the light from the kitchen can act as a night light. 
God, you're tired. 
You’re quick to shower and slip into your own pajamas, crawling into bed with a yawn. You take the book from your nightstand, flipping through until you find where you left off yesterday. 
You never really know what’s going on in the books you read, they serve a singular purpose and it isn’t entertainment. 
You read until you fall asleep, they’re just a distraction to keep your mind busy with thoughts so he can’t sneak in right before you fall asleep and embed himself in your dreams. 
It works.
Your dreams never feature him. 
They aren’t good dreams by any means, they’re wild. Often of your journey to Jackson, the fear you felt then. But you’ll take that over Joel any day. Tonight isn’t any different, your sleep is restless as you fight the memories of fighting for survival in those woods, but instead of your usual nightmares of infected hunting you through the trees you’re faced with a sight that somehow makes you even more uneasy than the living dead.
The look on Maria’s face when she told you about the two strays. 
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a/n : this fic has been bouncing around in my brain for months now and it feels so fucking good to finally start it omfg. sorry if this felt a little slow, i really needed to set a tone and a base for the story, sorry!!
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yourstruly-caycay · 1 month
Text
A "Loving" Husband
Yan! Poseidon x reader
Woo! My first time writing a yandere version of a character, and for the first time in forever I post something ehe.
Warning: yandere behaviour incoming
Synopsis: Poseidon never have any intention to tell Atlas, his son, about the inside of the golden door under the deep sea within the darkness. But, out of impatient and curiosity, Atlas bound to uncover the secret.
....................
The curious little boy finds himself in front of a huge golden door, a shiny one as it shines by the glimpse of the moon. He checks his surroundings once more to make sure he doesn't hear any doorstep near him as the window shows a scenery of the darkness of the sea. He sighs in relief as he's ready to find the answer that his dad has been avoiding to answer, “If this door is in this deep underground, what could dad possibly hide?” 
He tries to push the door, he keeps pushing to the point his face and hand turns red. “I can open it!” He courage himself  as it finally opened a little bit, small enough to fit his size.  
“Ha! Dad must be proud if he knows that I can open a door this heavy.” He pat his back proudly as he goes through the door. The inside of the room is exactly as he questions it, a room full of old neat treasures and artifacts on the shelves. Out of all the treasure he saw, he spotted something bigger. A beautiful and shiny marble statue of a life-sized woman sitting on a couch with a lot of jewelry on her and white silk dress, but he notices that the clothes at the waist part are ruffled, as if that part has always been touched. 
"Hmm, why does the ring seem familiar?" To get a better sight, he climbed to her thigh and sat on her. Observing the ring closer, he remembered the very same pair of rings in his dad's finger.
“But why is it on the statue? I thought mom was supposed to wear this? Perhaps I should try to give it back to her.” Carefully, his eyes focus on taking off the ring from the finger without realizing that his feets slip from the statue's silk dress as he’s hanging by the ring finger. 
Unfortunately, the ring finger cracks as his head knocks onto the floor. He rubbed on his injured head, displeased seeing the gold blood on his hand from the injured head. However, the feeling of pain is replaced by panic as he closes his mouth when he sees the ring finger shatter from the statue. In a speed, he grabs the statue's ring finger and sprints all the way to his room.
… 
By the next morning-
"WHY DO YOU NEED TO BE ANGRY JUST FOR A MISSING PART OF A STATUE?" 
The boy jolted up from the sudden loud voice outside his room, he immediately opened the door. His heart beats fast and eyes go wide seeing his father and mother arguing in the hallway with Hades and some staff hidden in the corner or running away because they’re too scared at the sight of Poseidon.
"WHY? I'VE WARNED EVERYONE IN THIS CASTLE NOT TO ENTER THAT ROOM EXCEPT FOR ME, BUT A HIDDEN INSECT SEEMS TO HAVE BROKEN INTO THAT ROOM! I’LL FIND THE FOOL AND SHRED THEIR HANDS."
"BUT THAT DOESN'T EXCUSE YOUR SUDDEN OUTRAGE LIKE A MAD MAN." 
“You insolent women-” Before Poseidon’s trident even near Amphitrite, Hades held his wrist and said in a stern voice. “Poseidon, calm down,” His eyes now turn to glare at him, but Hades still has the stoic face and staring back at him, “It’s just a statue, I don't know what's so special about that. But, if you’re still determine to punish the culprit, do it, but don’t throw the blame to the wrong person.”
And so, he put his trident down, his breath steadier and turned back to his usual stoic face, yet eyes still glare at his brother, “Just a statue? That statue is a prize possession of mine, worthy of my time to care for it.”
Hades can only sigh and shake his head in disappointment, meanwhile Amphitrite opens her mouth to say something while holding in the trembling voice with knees getting weak pressing down her fear as she stares back at him. The trident might not pierce her at all, but the sharp wind from the trident is enough to cause a scratch of gold blood to flow from her face.  
"You've got to be kidding me, Poseidon, everyone already fucking know that you're protective of that precious little statue of yours. I don’t know what’s so special about it, it might be more special than me, but have you even spared a little heart for your poor wife whom you married by your own choice? Why do you marry me if you never treat me like a wife?"
"Amphitrite," Poseidon said coldly, "Since when gods married for love? Just do your own job as a queen." 
Poseidon is finally out of sight as Amphitrite clenches her fist, glaring at her husband's back. "Tch, what did the statue do to make you this crazy?" she mumbles. 
"Amphitrite, I do apologize for his manners." Hades pats her shoulder as he sees her in a trembling state, she gazes at him with tears spilling from her eyes. 
"There's no need to apologize," she wipes her tears, "It’s his fault… no, it's my fault. How stupid and naive I am to agree to marrying him in the first place. I thought that maybe… if I become a good wife; a good mother, then maybe he can at least show an ounce of love to me like any lover does… what did I do to deserve this?" 
"Don't say that, it’s his fault for being immature." 
"Immature?" she snapped at him, "No no no, it’s insanity. I saw it in his eyes, the possessiveness and madness when the part of the statue is missing, all for the sake of that? I don’t know how long I will have to bear this. I can slowly go insane too for centuries living in this lifeless marriage, Hades, especially when the son he so much loved is not my own blood-" She gasped and closed her mouth, Hades got caught off guard hearing it.
"What?" He holds her shoulder, “What do you mean? Didn’t Poseidon announce to the whole Greek pantheons about you bearing his child?” Amphitrite isn’t able to hold eye contact anymore seeing the confused but angry Hades. 
"Mom..."Her heart drops dead as she turns in horror to see him trembling, the familiar uncomfortable expression when he has to witness the familiar scene many times.
"Atlas!" She runs to hug him, "Did you just see the fight? Oh, I'm so sorry to have you see that." 
"Mom... what do you mean?" 
"W- what is it?" 
"So, you're not really my mom?" His eyes are getting glossier each time passed along with his red nose. "Then, where's my real mom? Did she abandon me?" The tears fall as his crying sound is getting louder making her feeling more guilty, she hugs him tightly and pat his blonde hair. 
“No no, of course not my dear… she’s umm… she-”
“I believe me and him deserve an explanation from you, Amphitrite.” He glared at Amphitrite like a predator caged its prey, unable to let her run away from the problem. After a long uncomfortable silence, she takes a breath first and stands up to glance at him. 
“You both deserve an explanation… but, promise me,” she continued, “Don’t tell Poseidon, at least not now, okay?” He nods as she leads them to Atlas’ bedroom and locks the door. She sits on his bed as she massages her head, trying to find the best words to explain while the two of them wait for her. 
“I already knew Atlas when he’s only a toddler, I still remember the sight of Poseidon holding him…”
… 
~The night before the wedding~
To her younger self when she was still a naive princess, who was once frightened by Poseidon’s first sight. The way he always ignores her or glares at her when she makes a mistake. Hundreds of insults and mockery threw at her, driving her to avoid him even more throughout years staying in Poseidon castle as his fiance because her father thought that it’s a “good thing” for her to get familiar with him before the marriage.
When she’s ready to go to sleep, relaxing her tense muscles before tomorrow's marriage, the sudden strange calming sound arouses her suspicion. She opens the doors and follows the sound. All the way to the bottom of the sea floors. She found the source of the sound from one of the rooms and opened the door a little bit. Her eyes went wide at such a beautiful sight of the cold tyrant of the sea showing a small smile toward the unknown baby, holding the sleeping baby with such a gentle touch while humming a calm deep lullaby with the moon illuminating him heavenly like an angel. 
“Impossible, how can he be so cruel, yet gentle at the same time?” She mutter
“Women, what are you doing?” She jumped at his sharp tone, once warm turned icy in a split second. She slowly opened the door, welcomed by his unamused face. She clears her throat to not feel pressured by the awkwardness, “My apologies, Poseidon, I just happened to hear your heavenly lullaby from my bedroom, I can’t help but listen to it too.” 
She glanced at the sleeping baby, a smile growing wide fighting the urge not to touch the cheek, “So, who’s this baby? He’s just as beautiful as you.” 
“My son.” 
Silence came again, as her mouth slightly opened and eyes wide in disbelief. Unsure what to even say, “S- so, you’ve married before, then?” she frowned when he kept silent, “Where’s your previous wife?” 
“Passed away.” He said in the usual cold tones, but she knew underneath that  there’s a slight crack and irritation as his gaze now turned to the moonlight. Of course she passed away, or else Poseidon wouldn’t even remarry. However, deep in her heart she knew there’s a small crack discovered he’s used to love a certain woman, and now the baby is the only thing left of that woman. 
“Sorry to hear that,” she continued, “What’s the name of the baby?”  
“Atlas.” 
… 
~the night after the marriage event~ 
It was a cold kiss, but she received it welcomely despite his expressionless face throughout the whole wedding, but it’s okay. “It’s really okay, he’s probably not used to me yet. One day he will!” She patted herself. Emerald eyes sparkled at the whole sea regions and the Greek pantheon of deities and nymphs congratulated them, isn’t this what she’s been dreaming of? Marrying a handsome prince and living happily ever after? 
During night time where everyone has a great time of feast, smiling and chattering. While Poseidon were discussing with his brothers and several gods, Amphitrite was accompanied by Aphrodite and Persephone having tea together as the both of them enjoyed their little chats while she quietly listened. 
“Dear Amphitrite sweetheart, may I ask why you would want to marry Poseidon? It’s clear as day that he’s hard to be swayed by love.” Amphitrie got caught off guard with Aphrodite's question, she rested her chin on her hand thinking the perfect way to explain it. 
“Well, I’m aware that a god like Poseidon is difficult to read and likes to close himself off from everyone. I’m aware too that this is a marriage for political reasons, but time itself is impossible to read too, who knows it’ll take time for him to open up to me, and maybe I can fix him.” 
Aphrodite giggled while pinching her cheek playfully, “Amphitrite, I hope you can keep your words, I’ll give you the best gift if you can win his heart.” 
“Haha, to be honest, I’m used to being scared of him too, but when I saw him holding his son gently in his arm it’s like seeing part of the real him open up. How can I not want to win his heart and show his other good side to me too ?”
“Son?” Persephone gasped and stood in surprise causing everyone to look at them, “What do you mean he has a son?” 
Suddenly, everyone is freezed, tons of eyes now peered at Amphitrtie who was surprised too at everyone’s new discovery. “I- I thought everyone know that he has a child-” 
Suddenly Poseidon touched her shoulder and leaned her closer to him as he announced to everyone, “Yes, I do have a son… with her.”
Everyone including his brothers and her families are elated by the news, congratulating the couple as they continued the feast. However, Amphitrite snapped at Poseidon who’s still avoiding her eye contact, questioning his suspicious act… head feels dizzy as she frowned at the announcement. Suddenly, Zeus wrapped his arm around Poseidon and Amphitrite in joyous, “Congratulations on having a child! So it turns out you guys already did a dirty thing before the marriage, huh?” 
“Shut up.” 
“Congratulations, I anticipate meeting my nephew by tomorrow.” Hades shook his hand while laughing, yet despite the wonderful news, Amphitrite got left confused all alone watching the crowd in line congratulate them, leaving her deep in thought of her mind.
“Poseidon, what’s with all of this? I thought everyone knew about your son.” Amphitrite sat on bed facing Poseidon who’s changing his clothes to something more comfortable, once again avoiding eye contact with her. She clenches her fist when he has the nerve to ignore her question, “Not only that, but you LIED to them about him being my son in blood? What about your previous wife? How would she feel about this?”
“Don’t remind me about Y/n, Amphitrite.” 
“Y/n? So that’s her name, huh? Don’t tell me that no one also knew about this Y/n.” 
Another silent response made her more convinced, knowing this, she slowly moved away from him, his unreadable expression made her stomach twist. “Poseidon, why would you lie?”
What are you trying to hide?
“All you need to know is that I did all of this to keep her and Atlas safe from the gods’ eyes. If they ever discover the truth about them, I’ll gouge their eyes and shred their bodies to pieces where their mouth wouldn’t spread all over to other realm,” Amphitrite shiver at his calm tone, she felt her heart skipped a beat at his eyes finally made an eye contact, the eyes that threaten her as if a trident ready to strike her if she made a single mistake, “This include you too Amphitrite, just do your job as a queen and a mother, and I’ll turn a blind eye on you. Remember that this is a marriage that’ll benefit your family.”
… 
“That’s all I know,” Amphitrite steady her breath as she lies her head down, feeling uncomfortable with the silence, “It’s true, ever since that, I wouldn’t dare to ask him about her. I- I don’t- I don’t know why my foolish self is still trying to love him despite his undying love for his previous wife.” 
Tears spilled from her eyes, words unable to be formed as she cover her cry from them. “Why did I even keep pursuing?” She thought, but a sudden heaviness on her caught her off guard, uncovering her face to see Atlas hugging her. 
“It’s ok, mom.” Amphitrite hug him back with more tears spilled, her heart melt knowing Atlas is still calling her mom despite the truth. However, Hades is still standing across from her as he Massages his forehead, still surprised yet angry, but at his foolish brother. 
“Atlas, can you please change your clothes and go have breakfast? Your mother and I still have to discuss about… this…further through.” Atlas nods as he changes his clothes and unlocks the door to go to the dining hall, leaving Amphitrite and Hades alone in his room. 
Hades approach Amphitrite to sit beside her as his hand tap on her shoulder, “I’m sorry to hear that… I never thought he would do that.” 
“It’s not your fault.”
“It is. As his brother, I shouldn’t have been too lenient on him, he’s just using you for his own benefit.”Amphitrite shake her head, “It’s partly my fault too for not refused it and being naive, I was too scared by my own father,” clearing her throat as she jump to different topic, “But, about her…” 
“Y/n…” Hades humm, “So she’s Atlas' biological mother, why does Poseidon hide her from everyone? Out of shame?”
“Shame?” 
“Poseidon is a pride god, if he loves her that much, what makes him want to hide her in the dark? Have you ever suspected her identity and background?” 
Amphitrite put her hand on the chin as she recalled her moment when she was in the library, however it put a frown on her face, “I have try to search about her in the library, yet no books have had a record about her, so for now I’m assuming that she’s not a goddess from this pantheon nor a nymph.”
“Not even a nymph? How did you come up with that assumption?” 
“From Atlas of course, if Y/n is a nymph from certain creatures, he will have the appearance or characteristic of that creature, however none of it are in him.”
“Fair enough.”
 “How about you? Does the name Y/n sound familiar?” 
“That’s… the problem, it’s new and unfamiliar within this patheon nor any other places, never for eons have I ever heard that name,” Hades massages his head and sighs as the mystery causes a headache to him., sick of his brother’s antics, he stand up, “I will ask him right now, he’s the only one who knows the truth.”
Hearing this, Amphitrite immediately stand and holds his shoulder as she shakes her head, “Don’t! If you ask him he will immediately know I told you and will slaughter me,” she continued after steadied her breath, “Please, I’m not stopping you to research about her, but don’t directly ask him.”
“Don’t worry, I’ll talk to him about this too. He has been hiding this far too long, I’m disappointed at his oddly obsessive behavior-” 
“Hades, your shoes.” Hearing her gasp, he looked down and froze, seeing the crimson blood seeping from under the bed all the way staining his shoes. He kneels, and looks under it to discover the missing part of the statue — the ring finger — feeling the hard rock texture, yet when he touches the bleeding part, he shivers from the soft rotten meat and bone texture. 
“There’s a dead body of a mortal hidden inside a statue, how is it under his bed?” He frown, “Moreover, the ring on that finger-“
“It can’t be, that’s the same pair of rings that Poseidon has.”
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gremlingottoosilly · 4 months
Note
First of all, I love your fics so much that I keep re-reading them! Second of all, I'm sorry for bad English, third of all! What about kidnapper!König and sick reader, like reader has a chronic illness that requires taking medication everyday ? Like would he just let reader die orrrr???! (Ignore if you want, I know this is dumb)
Hey, don't apologize!! English isn't my first or even second language too. Honestly, being chronically ill and relying on meds might just be the only thing that would save you from total isolation initially. When Konig just kidnapped you, he was vigilant enough to scoop all medication you had in your room - he would find your prescription and read it carefully, knowing how lack of meds can mess a person up. He is taking his anxiety meds - something he often forgets but swears it's not really important to him, as he is a strong, cool man without any problems. He had a few comrades taking prescription drugs from PTSD, and he is dealing with chronic pains from his many injuries - sometimes, when it becomes too bad, he is taking quite strong pain killers...so he won't really make you beg for your meds if you're good. If you're a nice, polite girl for him, you're having your pills in restricted time and he will be very observant to feed you and give you water - he doesn't want you sick, making you fall ill would require him finding a doctor who won't ask questions and, well, he is a mercenary, not a mafia member. In this AU, at least. (Mafia!Konig? Anyone???) If you're bad, however...if you can survive missing a day in taking your meds - you'll have to experience all the pain and withdrawals that come with it. Konig won't hesitate to cut your food privileges, and pills are being taken as well - he would wait to make sure you're not dying, of course, but you won't feel fine even after he allows you to take the minimal dosage. When you're crawling to him, all teary and ready to apologize, he would gladly accept it, and everything would return to normal. If you need to refill your prescription, however...well, Konig never planned on keeping you in the basement for forever - he wants you to be his pretty cute housewife, so he knows he had to let you go out eventually. He will watch over very carefully as you slowly run out of pills - and right before it would be over, he will suddenly make you get dressed and...let you out?? Really?? Well, don't be too happy - he is only doing a drive for a city hall because he wanted to make sure you're married first. Without a flashing wedding, unfortunately, but he'd then be able to get you under his insurance and his family doctor. Doctor visits in Austria(and Central Europe) are abysmal even if you are covered by a very good insurance, and you'd have to cling to Konig for translations - doctors are smiling and nice, but they won't acknowledge you beside the prescription you had, even if you had it in Austria too. Konig is handling all the communication and you know you're trapped - with a psycho holding your hand, holding your meds and literally taking away your last name to replace with his. But, well, at least you got your insurance, right?
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Text
I love Shakespeare, and I love Hamlet, compound that with the fact that they had Aziraphale and Crowley at the Globe Theater while they were playing Hamlet put me over the moon.
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What I find most amusing, is that both Michael Sheen and David Tennant have both played the part of the Danish prince.
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So we have our favorite angel and demon, meeting at the Globe because of their new "arrangement" to do miracles or temptations that are just plain and simple, a pain in the ass to do, but management wants them to do anyway.
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They also discuss the fact that if either one of their sides knew about the "arrangement" it would be abysmal for them. We know what eventually happens to Crowley later on in the future, when he saves Elspeth from attempting to take her life.
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I think the one thing that is key with this part of their history, is how much concern Aziraphale has started to show for Crowley. Even though he denies ever knowing Crowley, he is nonetheless worried about his wellbeing. These are the early stages of their relationship, with Aziraphale voicing his distress at the possibility of Crowley being destroyed if caught by his superiors.
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During their conversation, Hamlet is playing on stage, and Aziraphale loves this play. Unfortunately, it's not that popular and it concerns him very much. They then have their coin toss to see who get to do the good and bad thing in Edinburgh.
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Poor Aziraphale loses that toss and get stuck having to go there. At this point, Aziphale hears Shakespeare bemoan the fact that no likes Hamlet. This is where Aziraphale gives Crowley the, what has been called, his "heart eyes" looks. I call it the, "oh please my dear, can you do this for me?" look and Crowley just can't say no to him.
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It doesn't even take him a second to agree to his angel's request, so much for putting up a fight. He never has a chance, Crowley already has it bad and doesn't even know it.
I will say, that to me, Crowley fell in love first with Aziraphale. The debate is, when, at Eden or during Job minisode? We can debate that forever, but in the end, he is already in love.
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I adore how happy it makes Aziraphale, when his demon capitulates to his wishes. Look at him, he is beaming with happiness, how can anyone not love him.
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Crowley makes it like, yea, whatever, but you can't tell me he wasn't smiling as he walked away, knowing that he made his angel happy.
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Anyway, I love this whole minisode as I said earlier. It is adorable in their interactions over one of my favorite plays. Plus, Elizabethan Crowley is just gorgeous!
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thechekhov · 4 months
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Dungeon Meshi Quick Reacts: CH38
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Rip to these promising mages. I assume they will not survive this massacre.
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IS that where her lungs and kidneys are? Because like. She's huge. Her entire body is behind her. Do you really think she'd keep her vital organs in the little human bulb on the front?
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I mean, he has a point. What are you going to do? Fight off more hoardes of dragons?
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oh noooo, Kabru.... too bad. That's so unfortunate.... anyway.
It's curious that Laios only got knocked away. He was just as likely to have had his head squished like a grape.
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Guys, this is absolutely not the time to be concerned for her privacy.
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Yes, queen. Free the tiddy. Murder everyone in this dungeon. I support women's rights and women's wrongs.
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.......that's. One way to do that. I guess.
.......what's that rock about.
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Oh, I see. That's convenient.
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This guy dungeons! Maybe he even dragons.
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So we got north (tallmen? dwarves?) and then the easterners.... and now the elves of the west?
He's going to give her to the Americans?! ಠ_ಠ
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To be fair, at least they HAD a plan. And they executed it. It's more than you did. I don't mean to point fingers but... at least they... ya know... did something.
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Kabru's like 'no, no, hang on, I need to hear what batshit fucked up thing this dude is going to say next, this is important'
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Laios is so stressed he broke character.
Then again, maybe it's healthy to let them slug it out a bit. Get it out of their system.
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It's true. They wore fitbits and everything.
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...hey, hold on a second.
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Now hold on a minute.
Damn, this is. Kind of even worse because. I guess I could have guessed that Toshi was just pretending to be polite, like you do. Cultural differences.
But the painful thing is, Laios doesn't seem surprised. He just seems resigned. He's been told before that he's difficult to get along with. To the extent that he doesn't even consider Marcille and Chillchuck his friends? Even though they arguably both care about him? But because Toshiro didn't bother to be deadpan about him being a bit odd at times, Laios thought it meant that was fine.
And that kinda hurts. Like damn. Laios just wanted to make a true connection. And I can't really blame Toshiro either, he was just trying to keep the peace but. Damn.
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Free her! Let her do her illegal magics! She deserves it! (︶^︶)
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Thoughts:
Senshi just being annoyed about that one last harpy looking for scraps.... like "shoo, this ain't the time"
That gnome seems genuinely nice. I'm sorry Falin squished his pet undyne.
Kabru hugging his..... mage? Girlfriend???? Seems very...one sided. Kinda feel bad for her.
Laios and Toshiro still going at it, I see. Get it allout, boys.
Uhhhhhhhhhh ninja girls.
Aww, doggo.
Last question: Where did the cat go?
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Senshi: I can fix that.
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Are you all worried because he's finally making sense?!?!
Laios and he punched their singular braincells into several new ones, it seems.
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F./....Falin... please give the caterpillar some privacy........
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My man, maybe lead with that............
I can't believe Marcille was potentially more forward about her feelings.......
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"his pupils are dilated" yes, thank you sherlock. You've finally realized what everyone else who meets Laios feels almost immediately. he's a monster freak club card carrying member. Welcome.
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p.....pubby......
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As long as he was also inside the dungeon with them.... yes.
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The issue with Kabru isn't that he isn't trying his best. It's that Laios isn't trying at all.
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On a scale of one to Kabru, how badly do you react to being offered a food you don't want to eat?
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......oh no. He's so pathetic it's funny. He's growing on me.
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Absolute morons, the pair of them. Immovable object meets unstoppable force. The funniest combination ever. Ghost type and normal type pokemon, forever throwing moves at each other that will never hit. Laios thinking he's made a friend. Kabru just barely stopping himself from killing Laios. Best comedy pair. Tom and Jerry in a can.
Anyway. What a great manga.
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alicerosejensen · 1 month
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I love your page so much omg. I‘m literally obsessed with your work😭🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
Also I have this imagination in my mind going on about how Leon would try to help his girlfriend from recovering from her mental health issues since she’s always helping him. I was recently thinking about how he would react finding her not moving on the bathroom floor and trying to bring her back! I rewatched American horror stories and the scene with tate and violet in the first season episode 6 (ig?) is always in my head. I‘m still recovering from my past and my unhealthy habits and tbh recovery never felt better.
If this is too much for you or triggering please ignore this.🫶🏼❤️
I had a terrible period in my life when I was a few steps away from doing something like this in my life and unfortunately this shit often comes out. I'm not sure that such texts help me work through my psychological traumas, which were, in fact, inflicted on me and continue to be inflicted by close people who do not consider me a person, but at least such works help me to vent my pain, which I cannot permanently bury in myself.
I have been postponing this request for a long time because I was probably waiting for the right moment to write this text.
There are mentions of suicide, psychological trauma, severe self-doubt and anxiety, so if this is not acceptable to you, then please just block it.
Perhaps there is a similarity with my previous texts, but I am writing this with strong emotions now that I am trying to cope with it again.
the text is chaotic, I repeat, written while I was under the influence of strong heavy emotions. Maybe I'll delete it later, when my brain gets back to normal a little bit.
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If a songbird doesn't sing well, they wring its neck.
Maybe it was the costs of Leon's profession and the result of his constant missions, after which something human is gradually dying in him despite the constant struggle to save everyone. Raccoon City was supposed to teach, if not to survive, then make him begin to understand that some are doomed to die.
Leon Kennedy was taught not to offend, but to protect the weak, especially weak women. But it is difficult to calm the flow of disordered thoughts and put aside the fear that has seized him in order to clamp bloody wrists and apply something to them to stop the blood. Leon knew many strong women: Ada was perhaps the first among them, he did not know either her past or her real name, only the present that pushed their foreheads against each other; Claire, a fighting friend of misfortune that he met in that ill-fated city; Ashley, who turned from a baby eagle into a proud eagle; Angela Miller and others…
Your strength dissolves in the water, coloring it scarlet while your heart stubbornly still beats, let the rhythm noticeably shorten.
In truth, over the past few months it became clear that this was the only way out. When even your loved ones considered you an expired product and did not hesitate to remember this and remind you every time. In the end, their words turned into an obsessive worm that settled in your head, slowly day after day, month after month, devouring you and the circumstances seemed to be not in your favor. Instead of support, you somehow faced reproach, as if the universe was screaming that you were an wrong person, nature's mistake who had no right to live.
Escape attempts were doomed to failure. At first you tried to suppress it in yourself, helping Leon, because, in your opinion, he was the only one who had the right to complain about life, although he did not do this in front of you, because everyone said that you had no problems: you have everything limbs, there are no fatal diseases, all loved ones are healthy and there is a roof over your head, as if this is enough to not fall for nonsense and not walk around forever with a sad face.
This was the last time you shared your experiences. You didn’t even bother telling Leon, but everything inside was torn from constant pain. The feeling was as if you were being beaten by two extremes that led you to the edge of an abyss where you ultimately voluntarily jumped.
no, you really loved him, it was just other people’s words and your own speculation that convinced you, despite your strong relationship with him, that Leon would find someone better, someone more confident in himself, someone who would not be you because you had already missed the chance for a good life because it moved too slowly. Ultimately, a couple of sips of alcohol with sleeping pills and a sharp blade in his hands simply promised to correct the mistake in the form of you with your own hands.
You didn't have the courage to do it any other way.
But you really didn’t think that if you could try to open up to your loved one, you would meet support and not condemnation. Perhaps in a mad world he would be the only one who would heal your wounds as you healed him in your time. Leon clenched his teeth, feeling tears flowing down cheeks, seeing these crimson stains, when he pulled your body out of the bath, holding you close to him, repeating “I’m holding you. It's allright"
He so carefully laid you on his lap, managing to pull out a first aid kit and then bandages to tightly, albeit carelessly, wrap them around your wrist in order to somehow stop the bleeding. At least you were still breathing, thereby giving him hope that everything could still be fixed. the darkness and emptiness came to life, calling in a whisper to dissolve into eternal silence where there is no pain or condemnation. Your body will be in a grave under a gray stone, while the remains of your soul will float like a small grain of sand in infinity.
For Leon, everything happens in a fog; he tried more than once to save people, but he had no right to lose in this battle, even if you yourself surrendered to death. Shaking his head, brushing away the tears, he wrapped your body in a large terry towel, kissed your temple and picked you up, trying to somehow warm you, pressing you closer to him. the ability to provide first aid in the field and pull suicides out of the other world is not the same thing. Leon would have thanked God if he had believed in him, convinced that blood loss was the least of the evils that you had caused yourself, until he saw the remains of some substance at the bottom of the glass that stood on the table along with an almost full bottle of alcohol.
You really didn't give him a chance.
The ambulance took several minutes, which seemed like an eternity. In fact, Leon wasn't sure if it was worth trying to make you vomit when you'd already lost so much blood that it was already seeping through the bandages. Surely you would need a transfusion and Leon is ready to give you all his blood if only you would wake up. Holding his breath, he carefully looked at your chest, watching whether you were breathing and fortunately, your heart was still beating, slowly, but it was still fighting for life.
He stroked you on the head, kissed you, promised that he would take you somewhere else, quiet, where no one would dare to offend you, even if it was your family. You could have just asked him for help, just cuddled up to him and he would have protected you from other people’s attacks, but you preferred to remain silent. Kennedy was tired of waiting for the medical staff to let him in, although relatives should be allowed to see the patient first, but the position of a government agent sometimes had its advantages, and they concerned not only the high salary. When he was let in to you, it seemed to him that you had become half your size while you were lying on the bed, curled up under the blanket. It didn’t work out to pull off a beautiful suicide, which meant that soon angry relatives would come here with new sweat of bile especially for you. They won’t care about your feelings, but Leon sat down next to you, trying not to intrude too much into the space in which you imprisoned yourself, as if this blanket cocoon could be a separate world where you could hide. He spoke to you carefully, hating himself for not being able to understand in time what was wrong with your behavior; perhaps if he had been more attentive to you, the incident could have been avoided. You would see a psychotherapist, take a course of medication, and your environment would definitely be taken care of.
You cry, not letting him come to you, hating how you weren't just left to die and how much you hate this world. Hysteria after hysteria, nervous breakdown after nervous breakdown, in the hospital you repeatedly tried to commit suicide, but the attentive staff managed to prevent this before you inflicted fatal injuries on yourself, and if after some time Leon still managed to carefully break through your armor, then your loved ones This did not concern relatives in principle. You only allowed one person to visit you while you were undergoing psychological treatment and you behaved calmer and calmer, listening to the velvety words that soon all this would be behind you.
“We’ll go home soon,” Leon smiled, gently holding your hand and kissing your forehead, just glad that you’re alive, that you’re breathing and that your psycho-emotional state is slowly but improving. “You know, I have a surprise for you, I think you’ll like it when we get home.”
Soon what happened will become another nightmare in his life, a blessing with a good ending, but for the sake of this happy ending, Kennedy is ready to descend into hell at least every day.
You nod at him and smile a little, fearing that the gift is some kind of party on the occasion of your discharge. In fact, the last thing you want is to see someone’s faces, especially those who diligently hammered into your head how insignificant you are. Why do you even hope that the doctor will postpone your discharge, but the plans for your further treatment were completely different.
On the other hand, after taking antidepressants and psychological help in a special medical institution, how many men are ready to stay with their girlfriends who have been there for several months? For Leon, it seems this was not a significant problem, or he simply carefully did not show it. However, there were no parties, no calls, you simply returned now to his home where there were new interior items. it became somehow more comfortable... but something else surprised you.
Puppy. A small puppy of a couple of months old ran towards you and Leon to meet both of them, but stopped and began sniffing your shoes, while something thawed in your heart.
“Animals seem to help us well, They feel when we feel bad, it seems to me a good idea to get us a little companion,” Leon said quietly, stroking your back while you were busy with the puppy, rejoicing at the little living soul who will love you with the same pure and devoted love.
Ultimately it should have a happy ending too. Leon is ready to go to great lengths so that his beloved songbird starts smiling and singing happy songs again, even if it is necessary to remove other birds from her family who sleep and see how to pluck all her wings again.
You and he also have a chance for a happy ending.
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aziraphales-library · 20 days
Note
Hi!
I was wondering if there are any fics where the ending is still the same (aziraphale goes to heaven, crowley stays on earth) but they properly discuss it and understand each other’s choice? This may be a bit too specific so no worries if you don’t know any.
Thank you 💕
Hey! Here are some fics where the ending is the same, but they take some time to talk a little more first...
The Other Side of Forgiveness by JazzRazzberry (NR)
Crowley should leave. He should really go now, before he does anything worse than what he’s already said and done. Before he gets forgiven again. He should go, the Bentley is outside, he can drive and drink until he forgets. Before he does something stupid. Before he kisses Aziraphale again. He should just go. Although. Might as well bare everything to his angel before he’s gotta leave forever, right? Aziraphale is still looking at him with those eyes, those damned eyes.
A tight embrace to say goodbye by yellowdaisy2023 (G)
Aziraphale can feel the lump forming in the back of his throat. His eyes sting with unshed tears as he turns, looking away from Crowley. His whole body is turned away from him, almost as if he’s closing himself off. It breaks Crowley’s heart. In all the years they’ve known each other, after all the fights, they’ve never done that. They’ve never closed each other off. Crowley takes a step back, ready to leave his angel forever, when he sees the slightest shudder in Aziraphale’s shoulders. Crowley pauses, watching carefully. It happens again, a small shake in the usually tense shoulders. He’s crying. Or Someone on TikTok pointed out that Aziraphale was about to sob before Crowley kissed him and I ran with it
This is Not an Apology (This is Not a Goodbye) by ThisIsWhyILoveReading (T)
After watching Aziraphale leave for Heaven, Crowley drives to his newly-reacquired flat and decides to sleep his pain away for the next few centuries, at least. Unfortunately, a certain angel shows up at his bedside and they are forced to try and Talk Things Out.
the choiceless hope in grief by Addicted2Demons (T)
"Don't go." The words are ripped from him involuntarily, a swelling need rising behind his breastbone and expanding like a balloon at a rapid pace, terrifying him in its intensity. He wasn't going to say that; it hadn't been a conscious thought, but there the words are anyway, writhing in the air between them, screaming out. Crowley stops, but doesn't turn, hand poised to turn the knob of the bookshop door, shoulders pulled up to his ears. Guarded. Hurt. Tender, inside, Aziraphale knows. He's always been so tender. A heart he was never supposed to have torn and bleeding in his ragged chest for centuries, possibly millennia. -- or -- Aziraphale has just been kissed by his demon for the first time. He suddenly, desperately, can't let him leave the bookshop without doing it again.
Things Left Unsaid by very_normal_abt_this (G)
S2 finale compliant fix it fic. Aziraphale decides that the first conversation with Crowley about going to Heaven was terrible, and that there are other things he needs to say to the Demon. Before he leaves.
one last nightingale by blackeyedblonde (E)
“Listen,” Crowley says abruptly from where he’s standing by the door, pointing above their heads. “Hear that?” They’re running out of options, he’s running out of time to make Crowley listen, and in his mounting panic somehow all the angel can do is bluff. “I don’t hear anything!” he says in huffed exasperation. The true weight of that silence wedged between them slugs Aziraphale somewhere beneath the breastbone when he realizes, dazedly, that the grandfather clock behind him has stopped ticking for the very first time in more than three centuries. “Nothing…at all,” Aziraphale breathes out, eyes widening as he whips his head around to gape at the forestalled clock. Upon turning again he searches Crowley’s face for some sort of affirmation, for any kind of clue that this is the trapdoor he’d been haplessly hoping for. “My word. Did you just—?” “Sure did,” Crowley retorts, lowering his arm so it slaps against his side like a limp fish. Outside the world continues, Soho going about its business as usual, but even the old metronome across the room on the angel’s desk has stopped its waving arm mid-air. “Now start explaining, we haven’t got all day.”
- Mod D
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clu-ven · 1 year
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I don‘t know if your Requests are open, but if they are could you write one where the Reader is a Jedi and traveling with the Bad Batch and when they meet Rex in the Bar she finally reunites with him and the Bad Batch just being so confused that a Jedi and Clone were in a relationship while the Republic was still there.🤗
That Familiar Feeling
word count: 3.4k
tags: vague mentions of dealing with grief and order 66, self-doubt, crying, many happy kisses
~and before anyone points it out, lemme just say this doesn't exactly match the scene of Rex reuniting with the Batch (for obvious reasons and because I forgot little details which is annoying me lol)~
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Something’s… off.
Entering Cid’s Parlour, the feeling of the force overwhelms you. It’s as if someone has thrown cold water over you, the force welcoming you with an eerie friendliness. It makes you falter, stopping abruptly as the sensation ambushes you.  
“Oof-” Echo walks straight into you, bumping against your shoulder. He takes a step to the side, his surprised expression quickly becoming one of concern “You ok? What is it?”. 
“I… I’m not sure,” you answer honestly, before trying to ease his worry “It’s probably nothing, I’ll be fine in a few minutes”. 
Echo isn’t convinced but he gives you a nod, not wanting to pry. “If you’re sure…” giving you a swift once over to make sure you didn’t get injured on the mission, he carries on.
It’s been a while since you last connected with the force, becoming hesitant to reach out ever since it happened. You tried in the initial days after the order was given but the overwhelming pain and grief that greeted you each time made you pull away. 
It’s not something you could deal with then and it’s not something you can deal with now, the wounds still fresh in your mind.
But this is a different feeling. It’s the force you used to know, something that worked with you and not against. It’s familiar… and that puts you on edge. 
With this familiarity brings a fear of the unknown. When you worked hand in hand with the force, you could have located what’s causing this in a matter of seconds… but nowadays, where you go from week to week without reaching out to the force, it’s much harder, with the subtle shift in atmosphere being your only warning that something is different.
Your eyes scan the parlour, though there’s nothing out of the ordinary. The usual crowd is here, drinking their problems away and playing Dejarik.
Unfortunately, the Batch has gotten back later than expected, so the limited sunlight that graces Cid’s parlour during the day has vanished. Now, you can only rely on the frustratingly dim lights to help your investigation.
“C’mon, this way,” Cid cuts off your search, walking past you as she gestures to her office. Everyone begins to follow her, though you’re more reluctant. 
Hunter catches your eye and you know he can sense it too but through a different method. Exchanging uneasy looks, you both make a silent agreement to stay on high alert before trailing after Cid and into her office. 
Thankfully Cid isn’t in the mood for nonsense (when is she?) and so she gets straight into business. You stay quiet during the debrief of the mission and the accompanied discussion of payment, your mind elsewhere.
Although the feeling isn’t as strong in here, it’s still undoubtedly nearby, invading your every thought. Even when Cid’s focus turns to you, the feeling’s hold on you doesn’t fade.
“What’s her problem?” her voice is faint, as if she’s far off in the distance. 
You don’t react. While this feeling is certainly daunting, a part of you is scared that if you push it away, this sliver of familiarity will slip through your fingers and disappear forever.
More talking ensues, though it’s more like mumbling to you, and you presume Cid has brushed past your reserved demeanour.
The harder you focus on the force, the quieter their voices become. Closing your eyes to further centre yourself, the feeling slowly becomes intelligible. You’re so close to uncovering what is causing this when it happens.
The sound of blaster fire is so sudden, you accidentally let go of the feeling, your body tensing at the noise. Your eyes dart open and for a split second, everyone freezes, the realisation of conflict sinking in before military training quickly takes over. 
You reach down, instinctively going to grab your lightsaber but instead find a blaster in its place. Turns out, carrying a lightsaber in a galaxy where Jedi are seen as traitors isn’t the best idea.
Hunter takes the lead, charging out of the office and into the main area. Cid keeps up his pace, ready to defend her business with everything she’s got. You’re next in line, alongside Echo. Tech and Wrecker are the last out, both keeping Omega close.
As the other patrons scurry out, a hooded figure stands by one of the tables. Placing their blaster down on the metal surface, their armour immediately catches your attention. You almost didn’t notice the colour painted on to the plastoid, the dim lights distorting the shade of blue. 
It can’t be. Surely not. 
As much as your brain wants to rationalise it as being someone else, the instantly recognisable blue of the 501st is hard to deny. Before the figure pulls down their hood, the feeling finally reveals itself to you. 
This familiar feeling is not one to fear. It is not the grief of losing one’s you admittedly became attached to or the terror of how the war ended but instead, it’s the exact opposite. 
It’s a reminder of why you fought so hard. It’s the warmth people can bring, the safety you give others and is fondly reciprocated. But it’s more than that. It’s love. It’s Rex.
“Who are you?” yells Cid, gesturing to him. The others are still on high alert, with not even the likes of Echo noticing the comforting blue paint.
His gloved hands cautiously pull down his hood, revealing the face you’ve longed to see again. He looks uncertain, his eyes glancing over everyone until finally landing on you. 
Although his face is sullen with a mist of hesitancy shrouding his expression, you can still see his gaze soften for you. And that’s all you need to know it’s actually him standing in front of you, not some brainwashed soldier or distraction sent by the Empire. It’s truly him, the Rex you know and love.
Despite always wanting to hold out hope that you would meet him someday, you couldn’t deny the facts stated on the Empire’s records. You remember the ache in your chest when Tech read it out, solemnly stating that Rex was reported dead.
Tears sprout from your eyes, a mixture of pure happiness and relief washing over you. Echo opens his mouth to speak but you get there first, taking the words out of his mouth.
“Rex!” his name comes out as a choked cry, your knees starting to buckle as you close the distance between you both, Hunter and Cid automatically stepping out of your way. 
You don’t think you’ve ever felt so much emotion at once. Even when you first heard the news that Rex supposedly perished with the others, you suppressed your emotions. Though that was more out of fear, unsure if you could control the power of the force while facing so much grief. 
Perhaps that’s another reason why you distanced yourself from the force, scared that the constantly lurking presence of the dark side might have used such powerful yet negative emotions against you.
You know Rex isn’t a big fan of PDA, especially around his brothers but as you throw your arms around him, you feel him hold you back. His strong arms wrap around your waist, one hand running up your back to keep you as close as possible.
It’s a surreal moment to feel him against you, his hard armour hidden underneath his cloak digging into you as you try to press yourself even closer to him. Not that you particularly care about that right now. The only thing that matters at this moment is Rex. 
Burying your face into his neck, the warmth of his skin soothes you and for the first time in months, you relax. 
“I… I thought you…” you want to say a million things at once, your brain unable to pick one coherent thought to say “I heard what happened… the mission report said you were… Oh, Rex”.
Giving up on trying to speak, you move to see that handsome face of his again, your hands instinctively coming up to his jawline.
The look in his eyes isn’t what you’re expecting. A mixture of worry and fear shines in his gaze, his eyebrows pinching together as he wordlessly looks at you. It doesn’t take a jedi to figure out why this is his initial reaction. Considering the recent event between all clones and jedi’s, it’s understandable for him to be nervous. 
He’s scared that you won’t trust him, that what you once had together has died alongside the Republic. There’s only one way you can think of that can give Rex the reassurance he so desperately yearns for. Using your hands to keep his head in place, you kiss him. 
At first, you feel him tense. The shock that not only are you kissing him in general but in front of his brothers making him freeze. But just as you wonder if you made the right move, Rex melts into the kiss, his grip on your waist tightening as his lips begin moving against yours.
Unbeknownst to you, as your lips touch your beloved Captain’s, the Batches' mouths all happen to fall open. Well, most of them anyways. Tech is too busy doing something on his datapad to witness the kiss. 
Wrecker, who stands next to Tech, gives his brother a nudge. Tech looks up at his shocked face before looking over at you and Rex… and then casually back down to his datapad. 
“Wha- Tech,” Wrecker tries to whisper “are you seeing what I’m seeing? Or was I hit on the head too hard?”.
Tech glances up again just in time to see the end of the kiss and you affectionately bury your head back into the crook of Rex’s neck, the both of you whispering sweet nothings to one another.
“Considering her reaction when I informed her of the Captain's supposed demise, this isn’t a surprise” he shrugs, refocusing on his datapad.
Despite Tech’s statement that this isn’t a surprise, it most definitely is for Hunter, who stands there in complete shock. Even with his heightened senses, Hunter didn’t expect this. He isn’t sure what to do or where to look but thankfully, Omega grabs his attention. 
She lets out a small gasp as she makes her way to the front of the group, looking up at the others before a large grin spreads across his face.
“They look like good friends” she gives Hunter a wink and he rolls his eyes, subtly placing his hand on Omega's shoulder so he can swiftly cover her eyes if you two kiss again. 
Just like his brothers, Echo’s mouth falls open too but his lips quickly form a smirk. Memories come rushing back to him as he remembers the rumours that you two liked each other as well as the countless number of times Fives would try to get the Captain to admit his feelings.
It’s a strangely satisfying moment to see you both wrapped in each other’s embrace, finally getting some closure to what was once seen as a far fetched piece of gossip.
Speaking loudly so you’ll both hear, Echo pats Hunter on the back “C’mon, let’s give them some space”. As you pull your attention away from Rex, you watch the others silently agree, most of them giving you a reassuring nod before retreating to the bar area. 
Within a matter of moments, you lead Rex to one of the quieter parts of the parlour, your hand in his as you sit on one of the lumpy couches. Rex sits beside you, hand still enclosed around yours. 
You watch the Captain with adoration in your eyes, giving him a moment of silence as he gathers his thoughts. Your gaze lowers to his neck, noticing how his Adam's apple bobs anxiously. But then, he speaks.
“I… I thought about you every rotation, no matter how painful it was” Rex keeps his gaze down, watching how his thumb begins to rub the back of your hand “I wasn’t sure if you… well, if you made it. I tried searching for you through mission reports but when the Republic fell, my code was denied access to all official reports”. He huffs out a laugh “I was surprised the Empire was smart enough to do that”.
Giving his hand a small squeeze, you smile, though Rex doesn't notice, his eyes still cast downwards “Tech was able to hack into it. I’m marked as missing in action and uh, well, you’re actually marked as deceased”. You’re unsure how to deliver such news, unable to tell whether being labelled as dead is a good or bad thing, both choices having some pro’s and con’s.
Rex nods, quietly taking in this new information, though right now, he’s not that bothered by what the Empire has him marked as. Rex has more important things to address, the Empire surprisingly being at the back of his mind.
Staying silent, he lets the moment pass. Rex knows why you’re telling him this and he finds some solace in how you want to give him any intel you have. But there’s more important matters… or, well, relationships to discuss. 
Yet despite its importance, Rex is hesitant to bring this up. On one hand, he doesn’t want to mention Order 66 or the horrors it caused but he can’t just ignore it either.
As much as he wants to bask in his ignorance, oblivious to what you’ve been through since then or how you feel about the clones, it’s not something he can do. He has to know how you feel.
Speaking rather abruptly, the words spill from his mouth “I’m sorry for showing up without any warning”. 
You’re taken aback by his words, not seeing a reason why Rex should be apologising. Taking a deep breath, he elaborates “I’m not sure where you were when it happened, or what you’ve been through… I don’t even know if you want to see me and if you don’t, I’ll go”. 
Finally Rex looks up at you, his eyes glossy as he tries to keep his composure. But his voice betrays him, his tone cracking as he continues  “I want you to know that, you won’t hear from me again if that’s what you think is best. You have that choice. I don’t want to put you through more pain, especially after everything this face has done to you”.
You know he’s referring to the clones in general, doing a small gesture to his very recognizable face. Although Rex wasn’t with you when Order 66 was put in place, he has some understanding of what you’ve been through. 
Rex has had a lot of time to think about this, to picture how his brothers suddenly turned on you and tried with all their might to kill you.
It was this very thought that made him hesitate when you first entered the parlour. He was going to call out to you but then the doubts crept in. Maybe you wouldn’t see him but instead simply see the face of a clone, a face that tried to kill you, albeit not him specifically.
You’re sure you can feel your heart ache, watching as Rex tries his best to keep his emotions at bay. Bringing your hand up, you gently cup his face.
Before you can even speak, Rex leaves out a shaky breath, your touch comforting him in ways he didn’t know was possible.
Your voice is stern, determined to get your point across so Rex will undoubtedly understand how you feel. “The only thing this face has done is love me, cherish me, care for me when I’m injured…” you list out as Rex closes his eyes, hanging on your every word “carry me to bed when I’m too stubborn to rest, cheer me up when I’m sad and it’s this face that’ll go to the most dodgiest looking parlour in all of Ord Mantell in the hopes of finding me there”.
He smiles at that last part, a stray tear running down his cheek as he opens his eyes.
You’re quick to wipe it away, mirroring his smile with one of your own. Needing to keep you close, Rex rests his forehead on yours, savouring the sensation of your breath hitting against his face. “You’re sure?” He asks in a low whisper.
“Positive” you confirm, unable to resist the urge to capture his lips in another kiss.
Over at the bar, Wrecker tries his best to inconspicuously look over. Keeping his gaze fixed on the two of you, he nudges Hunter, causing the Sergeant to groan. “They're kissing again” he announces.
Echo rolls his eyes, poking Wrecker with his scomp link “Stop gawking at them, will ya?”. Wrecker flinches away from him, almost stumbling on to Hunter “Hey! Watch it with that!”.
“You’re the one who needs to watch it,” Echo retorts, his gaze drifting over to you two as he repeats his sentence in his head. “Actually, no, don’t watch it or well, them” he tries to clarify, huffing at himself before hastily stating “you need to watch where you’re staring!”.
“I’m just keeping an eye on her!” Wrecker snaps back “I didn’t think Regs and Jedi’s were on good terms anymore”.
Hanging his head low, Hunter tightens his grip on his drink. “Will the two of you shut it?” he huffs, feeling the inklings of a headache coming on. 
Echo opens his mouth to say more but stops himself, not wanting you and Rex to join them mid-argument. Instead, he decides to take another swig of his drink.
“Wrecker does have a point,” Tech chimes in “Rex could still have his inhibitor chip in place”.
Echo wastes no time in jumping in again, determined to defend his Captain. “Oh yeah, he definitely looks like he’s still chipped,” he replies sarcastically.
“Perhaps another defective chip? Or maybe the control the inhibitor chips possess are only for a limited time” Tech thinks out loud, purposely ignoring Echo’s response. 
“This is one long kiss,” Wrecker comments, causing Echo to once again roll his eyes as he realises Wrecker is still looking over “you don’t think they're going to uh… y’know… take it further? They know we can see them, right?”.
Echo doesn't even warrant that question deserving of a reply. 
Almost causing Hunter’s heart to jump out of his chest, Omega chirps up “How would they take it further”. She looks up at the Batch with an excited smile, the adrenaline of another clone being here yet to settle.
Hunter shoots Wrecker a glare, hurriedly fishing a few credits out of his pocket. “Here, kid” he drops the credits into Omega’s hand “do me a favour and beat Wrecker in a few games of Dejarik”. 
Omega’s eyes grow wide at the credits as she leaves out an “Oooooh” noise. Barking out a loud laugh, Wrecker beams “C’mon best of three, loser has to buy the winner Mantell Mix”. As the two of them wander off to another part of the parlour, Hunter leaves out a silent sigh of relief. 
The abrupt sound of Wrecker’s laugh catches both you and Rex off guard, causing Rex to reluctantly break off the kiss. His eyes dart from your face to where the others relax at the bar. “Was that directed at us?” he quietly mumbles, heat racing to his cheeks.
Giving him a reassuring smile, you peck his lips one more time “I doubt it, Rex”.
Rex gives you his signature lopsided smile in response, something you’ve ached to see for months. It makes you want to kiss him again but you can sense the others glancing over. 
“You ready to go over to them?” he asks, though judging from how his gaze lingers on your lips, you’re not the only one with the urge to kiss. 
“Yeah,” you nod, giving him a playful nudge as you add “the sooner you say hi to your brothers, the sooner I get you all to myself”. 
Rex chuckles in reply, standing as he tries to compose himself. “Oh you have no idea how long I’ve been waiting to get you alone” he offers you his hand, shooting you a mischievous wink as he does.
“Well, Captain, you just have to wait another twenty minutes and I’m all yours” taking his hand, you stand, ready to reunite Rex with the Batch.
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quimichi · 27 days
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TW: obsessive behavior, talk about self harm, death, gore, blood, corpses, choking, talk about you being dead, bleeding, bro there's so much - MDNI
SUMMARY: A twisted boy with a twisted mind and a twisted love just for you ♡
CHARACTERS: Yandere x F!Reader
WORD COUNT: 841
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𓉸ྀི  Never EVER was Blake expecting to fall in love. At first sight too. He saw you and was instantly captured. My condolences, because with him in your life...it'll be turned upside down
𓉸ྀི You're his newest, recent hyperfixation, or better, obsession. Recent? Well, since he ever saw and read this short story in the internet, about death, killing, blood and guts, he was forever obsessed with it. Especially the graphic pictures that we're added for the "realism'. You see, one click on a link and a wrong turn can lead you down a dark alley filled with the darkest mysteries hold by internet. Hidden from those who would never dare step that far into an alley like this. Bit inviting and interesting to those curious enough to take a look...and forever be captivated.
𓉸ྀི with 12 year's old, exactly that happened. This weird 'dare' and a link went around school and of course 12 year olds are gonna jump on it like hungry wolves. His friend send him the link, he was dared to open it and take a look, but was to scared. So he send Blake the link also, so they can both take a look. Shared fear is only half the fear, right?
𓉸ྀི While his friend was throwinh up beside his bed, he kept scrolling. And scrolling...and scrolling. Weird...this doesn't affect him, at least not like his friend. Or how he thought it would. Everyone kept saying its gross, creepy and...twisted. Its odd that he, likes it.
𓉸ྀི His friend claimed he suddenly felt sick, so his mother picked him up. None of them wanted to raise suspicion of course...But the whole night long, Blake kept looking at the pictures over and over again, he read the story multiple times. He probably still knows it all word for word till this day. But what really captured his interest was that woman, how she looked in her own blood bath. Her guts hanging out, everywhere but inside her. Is this real? No it can't be right? No one would ever...
𓉸ྀི when he saw you, he saw that woman. You both look so similar. Maybe the eye color is a bit off, yours are a tiny bit darker but thats ok, you look just like her! Damn, even the hair!...he can't help but wonder if you would...no that's an unhealthy thought
𓉸ྀི he's 18 now, and for 5 years he was in the dark web looking for stories, pictures and videos like this to feed his constant hunger and need for more blood and gore. But he still knows, murder is wrong. But knowing is something else than doing. They both can go hand in hand, the only thing that's holding them both away from each other is the wall called self control.
𓉸ྀི He does have this wall, it just has multiple holes in it. Blake was no stranger to act on his impulsive thoughts. He cuts his arms sometimes when he wants to feel the pain or see the blood. He even tried the 'save way of cutting your wrist', the thrill of almost dying did send him over the edge....The research did help of course. He even tried choking himself, but that does not really do much for him unfortunately, there's nothing hot to it besides the bruises he left on his neck.
𓉸ྀི But right now the wall he trained to stand against the army of his running thoughts is about to crumble by just looking at you. You'd look so great in red, a deep dark red surrounding you...oozing out of y-no-! This is wrong-! He knows you're so so much more than a body, than a corpse. You have personality...damn you really look like you have a great personality.
𓉸ྀི...w-wait-you looked his way-! WHY ARE YOU SMILING AT HIM-! Was he looking at you this entire time?? Ugh, hes such a creep-! Yes, he knows he's one but he doesn't have to act like one to make it obvious- He's so weird, he doesn't deserve you, he would NEVER deserve you. The only thing that deserves him would be the maggots and the mould, eating his decomposed cadaver.
𓉸ྀི If it's not him, than it's definitely your smile that killed him right there and now, on spot. He's disgusting why are you looking like him. Why do you show interest. Why is he smiling back. And why does he really feel the need to hold you in his arms, and kiss you. A kiss that would probably be the beginning of cannibalism. Drag his mouth and theeth across your chest to taste your beating heart...if he thinks like this then living can be beautiful, and so are living things. I mean...you are most definitely beautiful. And you're alive.
𓉸ྀི But you'd be just as pretty dead, rotting and overcome with mould, having flys around you while your body drys out and sinks....but yeah you're maybe even a tiny bit more beautiful alive. (Much more but he can't say it just yet)
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TAGLIST: @lucienbarkbark @hehothrowawayfae
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tokkias · 3 months
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on nights like these ship: natsu dragneel x lucy heartfilia summary: Sleep doesn't come as quickly to Lucy these days—and how could it? A war isn't something you forget over night, it haunts you with the threat and fear of loss well into the night. That's something both she and Natsu are well acquainted with. On nights like these when the memories tug at them the hardest, at the very least they have each other. ao3
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Not even the warm comfort of her duvet or the gentle pitter-patter of rain hitting the roof is enough to lull Lucy to sleep on this night. Sleep does not come to her as quickly as it once did, if at all these days. Sometimes that’s a good thing—sometimes not sleeping means eluding from the nightmares that plague her when she does, only to find herself waking with a desperate cry for help. Right now, as she runs on barely more than three hours of sleep, it’s not a good thing.
Natsu seems to be sleeping peacefully beside her, and she tries to keep her envy in check. He struggles with it just as much as she does, even if he’s not as vocal about it as she is. They’re so close that it’s just something she knows by now.
He says he sleeps better next to her—something he’s always claimed, but now she believes it more than ever. She’s stopped kicking him out of bed when he crawls in next to her, for both his sake and hers. She says it’s because the heat he radiates keeps her warm in the winter, but as winter creeps into spring and then into summer, that excuse stops being valid, and they instead just pretend that it’s normal for two friends to share a bed with as much frequency as they do.
On nights where she worries about the war memories that will plague her dreams, it’s nice to have him beside her to remind her that he’s okay. She has him to protect her, and she, in turn, will do the very same for him.
A lot of the nightmares have to do with losing him. She’s looked death straight in the eye so many times that the potential of its coming no longer fazes her, but she can’t say she feels the same about the prospect of losing Natsu. Just thinking about it sends chills through her veins. She doesn’t know what she’d do without him. Every day she wakes up and wonders how there was ever a time when she was able to exist without Natsu.
The war with Alvarez is the closest she’s ever gotten to losing him for real—forever. It served as a harsh reminder that Natsu was not, in fact, invincible, that he was just as mortal as the rest of them, and that there was always the chance that his recklessness would catch up with him one day and rip him out of her life forever.
Her heart squeezes painfully in her chest as the thought crosses her mind. She tries to cast it away, to remind herself that there’s nothing here or now that will take him away from her—that he’s not going to let it if he has anything to say about it.
She rolls onto her side to face him and remind herself that he’s still here.
She watches over him as he sleeps, his expression cast in moonlit gaze. The way the light defines his features makes her heart race a little faster. She wants to lean over and press her lips against his jaw, but she refrains, barely so. He looks so peaceful, and she concedes that even if she does not see peaceful sleep tonight, at least he will.
Unfortunately, as soon as that thought crosses her mind, it’s dashed about as quickly as it came.
He twitches in his sleep, only slightly at first, perhaps barely noticeable to someone who wasn’t quite as in tune with him as Lucy, but they quickly turn into desperate thrashes that she recognises as his nightmares. She’s seen it happen before, but that doesn’t make it any less sickening for her to watch. He whimpers and whines as though he’s in pain—he sounds like he’s sobbing and all but screaming out for someone to help. His breaths are unsteady and desperate, and he sobs out her name and shatters her heart all at once.
Gently, she grabs his arm and tries to gently shake him awake.
“Natsu! Natsu!” She whispers in an attempt to free him from the prison his mind has trapped him in.
He wakes with a start, his eyes shooting open. She sees the terror in them, but it quickly dissolves into relief when he sees her by his side.
“You okay?” She asks, her tone hushed and gentle.
He’s silent for a moment, his lips pursed and his brows furrowed, as though he’s trying to separate reality from fiction. Once he seems to determine that this is real, that they’re both safe, he finally speaks up.
“Yeah, I’m fine,” he reassures her, flashing that grin at her that says, don’t worry about me.
No matter how many times he tells her not to, she simply can’t help it. She’s always going to worry about him—it’s engraved into her nature as much as breathing is.
“You were thrashing,” she tells him.
“Was I?” He replies. “Sorry.”
A look of guilt is cast over his features in the low light. He’s the type of person that doesn’t like to worry others. He takes on his inner demons by himself, to the point of his detriment. She knows he feels guilty that he worries her, that he would rather she let him take care of this on his own, but there's nothing in the world that could make Lucy stop worrying about him.
“It’s okay,” she hums in affirmation.
She brings her hand up to thread through his hair, running her fingers through it in a gentle and calming manner. He likes this—or so he’s told her exactly one time. He’s not good at asking for help with things like this, so she tries her best to help where she can. His eyes flutter shut in a brief moment of contentment, and he all but purrs at her touch.
Softly, she moves closer to him, resting her head on his chest, nose nuzzled into the crook of his neck. His arms instinctively move to wrap around her, holding her tight against him. It’s a position she would have been mortified to be in with him in a year ago, but now it’s one they frequent in times where one of them needs comfort, which seems to be happening a lot lately. It’s one of the few that Lucy finds herself able to truly fall asleep in, so she doesn’t complain, lest she jeopardise it and lose it.
“You can go back to sleep now,” Lucy assures in a soft whisper. “I’ve got you.”
“Yeah?” Natsu asks, voice still hoarse.
“Yeah,” she affirms.
His hand trails gently up and down her back in comforting motions. It almost has her convinced that tonight she may sleep through the night. Her eyes droop slightly before they’re shut all the way, lulled into comfort by the steady beat of Natsu’s heart against her ear.
There’s one last thing she hears before she finally drifts off into sleep.
“You too.”
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sharkboywrites · 9 months
Note
Can you do twst vice wardens (pls replace lilia with silver and ortho with ace) with a male reader that has a habit of not telling people about his various health problems. He has a whole iron deficiency and doesn’t tell anyone until he passes out in the middle of the hallway.
In the middle of a conversation he'll just drop an "Oh, my headaches going down" "you have a headache?" And such.
Thankyou!
"You what?!"
A/N: Hiii so sorry it keeps taking me forever to get to requests. I've been gone for a good amount of the summer on trips and stuff. I'm also dealing with some personal things. I made post about it, but for whatever reason it hasn't been seen. Anyways this request is so me, I'm either bothering people about my problems or literally never telling them to the point where it's concerning. I don't really talk about it but I do have some physical heath problems, so this feels nice for me to write.
Male reader, he/him pronouns used, author put his own health issues in just because, headaches, low iron, knee problems, heart problems.
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Trey Clover
Trey is a very attentive older brother type, it would be very hard to hide something being wrong from him
But somehow you did
After all, with low iron, you never really know somethings wrong until you stand up
The two of you were relaxing after a lot of baking
Knowing there was an unbirthday party coming up, you decided to help him out
Unfortunately, you did over exert yourself quite a bit
You definitely felt off, but you decided it was fine and that it would probably go away
while the two of you were sitting down and talking, drinking some water, the timer went off
You went to get up and take the treats out of the oven when
uh oh
for a bit your head felt fuzzy, and you went down
To say Trey freaked out was an understatement
He really thought that you died for a minute
after getting you up and sitting you back down in your chair, he got the treats out of the oven himself
Once everything was settled and he made sure you were okay, you got a very lengthy lecture about taking care of yourself and telling people when you don't feel well
After this he gets very protective over you, constantly checking that you're okay and if you need anything
great job, you've activated the "big brother" part of Trey
Ruggie Bucchi
Ruggie could probably sense that something was wrong with you
Was he going to address it if you didn't say anything? no.
Listen, it's not that he doesn't care about you, it's just that he doesn't want to make extra work for himself
But don't worry, he ends up regretting that decision
When you're laying on your desk in pain
He stops and doesn't know what to do for a hot minute
And then he's off
He's running around the school trying to get what might help you
Water, food, pain meds
You want it? He's on his way to get it
He feels really bad about it later, please assure him
he'll get mad at you if you admit that it's common for you to never actually teel people you're in pain
He's also paranoid from now on
He'll constantly carry ibuprofen on him just in case and is very vigilant of your body language
he's worried about you
Don't scare him like that again please he can't take it
Jade Leech
It was really just a normal day
going to classes, trying to stay awake during lessons, and getting pestered by at least one of the eel twins
While having a nice talk with jade, something started to feel off
your chest felt weird
It didn't hurt per say, but it felt like it was racing
Having heart issues, you immediately knew what was wrong
Jade watched with a curious look as you took your water bottle and took a drink
He questioned if you were alright, and you told him what was wrong
With a calm look on his face, he immediately takes action
Your brought back to the mostro lounge and told to wait patiently as Jade disappeared for a few minutes
He later came back with a small meal for you and more water
He assured you that it had plenty of salt in it to help your heart's hard work and told you to take it easy
Now that he's aware of your situation, he's extra attentive
He may know somethings wrong before you do at this rate
And don't worry, he never doubts you or thinks you're dramatic if you ever tell him somethin may be wrong
Also has liquid i.v ready if you ever need it
He's now the number one person to go to when you're having issues
Jamil Viper
Parties can be overstimulating
So it's unfortunate that Kalim throws one almost every day
After an hour or two, Jamil thankfully found a less crazy sport for the two of you to sit
The two of you talked for a bit, enjoying the upbeat atmosphere
Halfway through talking, your head started to feel fuzzy, but you decided to brush it off and that it would probably go away eventually
Then Kalim called the two of you over
You couldn't figure out what he wanted you for, but the two of you got up anyway
When you stood up, the fuzziness in your head hit ten times harder, and you went down
Thankfully Jamil, with his quick reflexes, was able to catch you just in time
after assuring you were okay, albeit a bit panicked, you admitted you knew something was wrong, but decided to not say anything
And that's the story of how you got scolded by Jamil about taking care of yourself and telling people when something was wrong
He's much more on edge when the two of you spend time together from now on
He's constantly pestering you about how you feel, while trying (failing) to hide his genuine concern
Don't tease him about it, please
Rook Hunt
Lets be honest now, did you really think you could hide something from Rook?
Getting it away from trey? believable. Rook? Absolutely not
He is vigilant, nothing gets past him
Nothing
Even when you think he's not around, he is watching and he will know something is wrong
And the second he realizes your head hurts, he is all over you
Like showering you in concern and affection 24/7
if you were planning on keeping it from him, too bad
He's not giving you the chance
Really, he's treating you like royalty
You're in bed all day, dim lights, water, and any snacks you want
And he's not taking no for an answer
he's an extravagant man, what else were you expecting?
And from now on, he'll constantly be checking up on you
In the most dramatic way possible
He'll gently grab your shoulders and ask if you're okay
And if you aren't he'll grab your hands and with the most dramatic display, be so distressed for you and also praise you for being "so brave"
Such a dramatic man, really, but a dramatic man who's worried for you
Ace Trappola
Joining basketball with the boys sounds like so much fun, right?
Right???
Not really
Especially not when you've got a whole lotta knee pain
But it's alright, just power through it, as most people say
However most people don't realize that that's a bad idea
And unfortunately, you are most people
Forgetting your knee braces sure is unfortunate, although you thought it would be fine
It was not
Especially not when Ace decided to pull an "ankle breaker" on you
And it did just that
But with your knee caps
Listen, Ace may be a total jerk, but hearing a loud pop and then seeing you collapse...
He couldn't help but feel at least a little bad
But limping over to the bench you assured him that you were okay
Once sitting down, you took a deep breath and
another pop
And right back into place
And now you terrify him
This is something you can hold over his head at the slightest moment he starts to be a brat
Him doing the regular teasing? "Remember when you popped my kneecap out of place?"
Don't ever let him live this down
Silver
Unlike other characters on this list, it is so easy to keep something from Silver
It's not that he doesn't care, he's just very tired
But once he fins out that you've had a massive migraine this whole time, he feels so bad
he offers to get you anything you need
And once you're all settled, he looks so guilty
He may start to wallow if you don't stop him
Please stop him
Please assure him that it's not his fault
He really feels bad for not noticing earlier
Afterwards, he makes it clear that you need to tell him when you don't feel good
He also tries to be a lot more attentive from now on
He just feels so bad
This is where you both decided to work on communication skills
From now on, please tell him when you feel bad
he's worried for you :(
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I'm finally back yaaay, but I took forever on this. i procrastinate so bad I'm sorry. I threw in my own physical problems too, hope y'all don't mind. ty for reading and gave a nice day :)
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yanderes-galore · 2 months
Note
Hello, may I request a Nightmare Sans vs Dream Sans with a human darling concept, please ? Thank you !
The most I know about them is through Underverse so I apologize if this isn't quite what you wanted! Sorry for the long wait, hope you enjoy!
Yandere! Nightmare Sans vs Dream Sans with Human! Darling
Pairing: Romantic/Platonic - Rivalry
Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, Manipulation, Overprotective behavior, Sadism, Possessive behavior, Violence, Mentions of death, Forced companionship/relationship.
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If I am correct, Dream is drawn to positive emotions, while Nightmare is drawn to negative emotions.
Which gives me this idea...
I think it would be interesting to play around with the idea of them appearing on your highs and lows.
So let's say you meet Dream first, due to an overflowing amount of positive energy coming from you and your universe.
When you meet Dream he's quirky, talkative, and overdramatic.
Just being around him seems to make you happy.
Dream no doubt wishes to act like a protector/guardian around you.
He's drawn to your positive energy and wants to preserve that.
But maybe something devastating happens to you.
An event happens to you and your universe and that manages to catch Nightmare's attention.
Nightmare loves the opportunity to corrupt others, plus, he can just tell Dream likes you a lot.
As a result, Nightmare would pounce on the opportunity to corrupt and use you.
Instead of being greeted by the cheery golden skeleton to help your mood... you're greeted by a sadistic monster.
Nightmare would make it his goal to make you feel worse.
After all, the more pain he inflicts, the more he can control you.
Dream is no doubt going to notice his new favorite human is being influenced.
When Nightmare leaves and Dream returns, Dream is worried when he sees you in such a bad state.
Which leads into Dream cheering you up... and Nightmare coming back to corrupt once again.
A rivalry between these two feels like it would just be a big game of Keep Away or Tug of War.
Dream is protective of you, he hates it when Nightmare uses you.
Dream tells you Nightmare doesn't care for you... he wants to toy with you and use you.
So... you should only rely on Dream to protect you.
He'll try his best.
Meanwhile Nightmare manipulates you by saying Dream can't get rid of him.
Even if Dream protects you and deters Nightmare... he'll never leave you alone.
Nightmare will keep coming back... all to play with you.
You'll belong to no one else but Nightmare.
Eventually the two are going to fight over you when they arrive at the same time.
Dream is quick to protect you, annoying yet also amusing Nightmare.
The two will no doubt then continue their rivalry in a physical battle, much to your dismay.
The thing about this rivalry is I'm not sure if it would end.
They can't get rid of each other fully, always lingering and coming back to you later.
Unfortunately, I hate to say this, but until one of them relents or you die... it may just go on forever.
Dream wants you happy and protected... while Nightmare wants you miserable and controlled by him.
The ultimate battle between good and evil... and until someone intervenes (if they can)...
You're stuck in the middle of it.
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