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dhampling · 3 months

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"Hugging the other from behind" from this list of prompts with Astarion hugging his very tall, very pregnant wife from behind because I think the image of it is so cute. :3

this made me WEEP. i love this prompt. i would gladly write for any from the linked list honestly they're all so soft. i got carried away and it became a thing. thank you for sending this my way i love you MWAH.

“Darling, I have a bounty of treats and an evening of tales hopefully dull enough to finally send you to sleep.”

Astarion clatters through the door, kicking his shoes off and dropping two armfuls of brimming paper bags onto the table.

“You need to stop kicking your shoes when you take them off. It’s scuffing the wall.” You frown. He rolls his eyes and scoffs.

“Stop being pedantic. I’ll paint over it or something.”

“That means I have to look at it until you do. Which could be avoided, if you didn’t do it in the first place.”

“Do you spend a lot of time looking at our entryway wall specifically?’

He sighs.

‘Gods, my love; get a life.”

If looks could kill.

His shoulders sag and he moves behind you with soft-socked steps, shuffling to where you stand chopping vegetables for some kind of soup.

You exhale deeply. Roll your head back.

“I’m sorry.”

“No, I am. I’ll stop it. I know it’s a poor habit.” He grimaces, head dipped.

“I shouldn’t have snapped. I’m just tired.”

One of your hands moves to your back while the other wipes your moist forehead. Astarion looks over you with a small, reverent smile.

“I know, love. Still nothing?”

You shake your head, mindlessly now running a hand over your heavily swollen belly and allowing your sleepy eyelids to fall closed for a brief moment.

“No respite from this, I’m afraid. Not ‘til she’s here.”

Astarion still can’t quite believe you’ve reached this point at all. You and the dhampling are both in good health and no major issues have arisen so far. It’s been - relatively speaking - smooth sailing. His only wish is that you were shorter so that he’d be able to fully wrap his arms around the both of you; all three in a snug cocoon.

He’d expected, prepared for issues. Read up on every possible complication he could and how to mitigate any damage to both parties.

And yet at the final stretch you’ve found yourself wholly unable to rest.

“Right. I picked up some fennel, lemon balm and chamomile from the Night Market and I’m going to make you the world’s best pot of sleepy tea.’

He looks about the kitchen and spots a cookbook open beside the chopping board.

‘Leave the soup, I’ll finish that. Nope. Don’t argue with me, darling. It’s unbecoming.’

He grins as you look at him, dazed.

‘And lastly, your treats!’

From the paper bags he retrieves a punnet of plump raspberries, a pound of almond cake and a pint of fresh cream. He scrambles in the cupboard and finds a large stoneware bowl, adding plentiful amounts of each component and flourishing the top with a spoon.

‘Now eat, sweetling.”

You pore over the bowl of raspberries and almond cake still sitting on the counter, shovelling a heaped spoonful into your mouth and groaning in delight.

“Gods. I didn’t realise how hungry I was.’

Your husband watches you fondly from behind.

‘Thank you.”

He comes up from behind you and wraps you in the softest hug, arms still unable to reach entirely around the bump but he gives it his best shot.

You rock side to side like this together for a minute, his head buried snug into your shoulder in a loving silence.

“No. Thank you. I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

#this man is my child's father #astarion x reader #fluff #my writing #astarion is preparing to be a GIRL DAD

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plastic-pluto · 11 months

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pavitr prabhakar i love you. hobie brown i love you. gwen stacy i love you. miles morales i love you. peter b parker you're on thin fucking ice but i still love you.

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pilfappreciator · 4 months

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Did another oopsie and accidentally deleted another ask (*bangs head on table*) BUT HOPEFULLY THE LOVELY ANON WHO SENT IT SEES THIS!!

DADZONE & Child! Reader: John Dory

Includes: GN! Reader, Child! Reader, Adopted! Reader, accidental DILF John Dory, slight angst

TW: mention of spiders and body horror near the end (nothing too graphic but just in case)

🥽 This man doesn't trust himself enough not to fuck up another meaningful relationship ://

🥽 Personally, how I see it, becoming a father is probably the last thing on JD's to-do list. I mean he's definitely got the skills (being the oldest of five and having to raise his brothers means he's picked up a few things), and I like to think that it's something he longs for deep down, but considering how BADLY he fumbled with his brothers the last time they were all in the same room...

🥽 So yeah. In theory would be SO down to start a family of his own, but in practice?? He is EXTREMELY hesitant

🥽 THAT BEING SAID!! Chances are he probably found you as an egg

🥽 He was out one day, hiking out in the forest or exploring coastal coves or rock climbing, when all of a sudden he just… stumbles across an egg. Just sitting there in a patch of moss or nestled into a log

🥽 Ends up taking the egg with him back to Ronda, but not before an actual HOUR of confused staring? Distressed pacing back and forth?? Panicked rambling all the while???

🥽 (the fact that Ronda tried to eat the egg upon his return doesn't help at all)

🥽 John Dory spends the next month or so visiting nearby troll villages and asking anyone who crosses his path "Hey man did you drop this? 😬"

🥽 In the end he decides to take you in himself. Partly because he's gotten tired of all the looks other trolls keep giving him for trying to force an egg into their hands, and also because he… may have grown attached to said egg in the past few weeks. I mean by the end of day 3 he'd already given you a name so you know he's screwed ahsjkakaa

🥽 He tells himself he's taking you in because it's what any good citizen would do (He is a lair. He is 100% doing it for himself)

🥽 The day you hatch is LITERALLY one of the best days of his life? Like he's just making himself some dinner and suddenly he hears crackling coming from his hair?? And then there's babbling???

🥽 This man is going about his day with you nestled in his hair (basically the troll equivalent to carrying a baby on your hip lol). He's choppin trees, foraging for food, and driving his armadillo van all while he's got an actual egg sitting on his head. Absolutely talks to you the whole time, too. He has no idea if you can actually hear him but like.. this man spent the last 20 years all alone in the woods, okay, his ass is lonely :((

🥽 Yknow that thing parents do where they hold up headphones to a woman's womb and play Mozart or whatever to make the baby "smarter" or some shit?? Yeah that's JD. He's doing the same thing to his egg

🥽 no Mozart tho ONLY BROZONE 😤😤 HIS BABY HAS GOTTA HAVE GOOD TASTE AND NOTHING LESS

🥽 If he's really feeling himself then he'll sing the songs himself. And then proceed to give unprompted lore behind the lyrics and the songs "true meaning" (songs include Brozone classics such as Baby Boy Got My Heart In A Headlock Boy and Baby Baby Love You Like A Pizza But Hate You Like There's Pineapple On It Babe)

🥽 "holy crap YOU'RE SO SMALL—"

🥽 UGLY CRYING HOLDING YOU IN THE CROOK OF HIS ARM CARESSING YOUR SOFT LITTLE FACE WITH HIS FINGER

🥽 Will die if you reach for him with your tiny baby hands or just smile up at him

🥽 He's still gonna carry you around in his hair while he goes about his day and stuff ngl. Like for him, it's a signature of your guys' bond and you bet your ass he's gonna be milking it for as long as he can (definitely dreads the day you become too big/old for it)

🥽 Most definitely tries to teach you survival skills as soon as possible. He's teaching you how to fish, he's demonstrating how to start a fire with the bare essentials, he's letting you DRIVE RONDA—

🥽 "It's an important skill to have, champ, trust me!"

"...but I'm only five."

"Never too early for a learner's permit!"

🥽 Defnitely tries to reel in that controlling/perfectionist mindset of his, at least for your sake. The last thing he wants is a repeat of what went down with his brothers. As a result he's probably more lenient when you get into trouble or do something wrong

🥽 Fr tho like... you'll accidentally(?) cause an explosion and his ass will be standing, hands on his hips like "I'm not mad, just disappointed 🤨"

🥽 You thought you were getting spoon fed Brozone content as an egg?? Well congrats on being born cuz now you're getting served Brozone content for BREAKFAST 👏 DINNER 👏 AND 👏 LUNCH

🥽 JDs most definitely the type of guy to break into song whenever he's doing the most mundane of tasks (laundry, cooking, cleaning, etc), and yes he fully expects you to join in and know all the lyrics helloooo?? You've basically been raised on Brozone songs at this point like cmon, don't leave him hanging!

🥽 FR THO!! If you grow up to be a Brozone stan, he's never gonna be more proud of himself <33

🥽 This man definitely has a physical collection of every song/album/cover his band has ever done (I'm mean this is the same guy who kept his brothers underwear in a frame for 20 years so ://). He treats every CD, record, cassette tape, etc. like the priceless artifacts they are and YES, HES GONNA PASS THEM ONTO YOU LIKE THEYR FAMILIY HEIRLOOMS DID YOU EXPECT ANY LESS

🥽 If you grow up to lean more towards a different genre of music or Brozone just doesn't end up being your cup of tea... JDs gonna be a lil devastating ngl

🥽 Pls assure him that he has not failed as a father

🥽 Jokes aside tho! I feel like despite his wounded ego, JD will at least TRY to see your point of view. I mean he's definitely gonna be a bit of a grandpa about it—

*while the two of you are listening to your favorite song*

"I mean, I GUESS it's okay... not nearly as lyrically genius as Brozone's hit single: Baby Girl Ur Sweet Like A Milkshake Girl But I'm Lactose Intolerant Baby 🙄"

"Dad. Please shut up."

—but rest assured that he WILL support you and your music taste <33

🥽 You want merch of your favorite band/artist? No worries he's (stealing it right off the shelf) got money to pay for it! Is there a new album about to drop? He's (breaking into a store in the middle of night like a rabid racoon) patiently waiting in line just to buy it for you! You wanna go to a concert? He's using Ronda to (break speed limits, run people over, disobey every known traffic rule) get good parking at the venue!!

🥽 SPEAKING OF CONCERTS!! I feel like he'd be able to offer solid advice on the do's and don'ts of attending a concert. Like... my guy was in a popular band back in the day and he knows first hand how outta hand concerts can get. He has SEEN some shit ajskskaka

🥽 JD definitely has a photo album full of pictures from back in the day. Some of them are snapshots of him and the rest of Brozone, but a majority of the pictures are just of him and his family— away from the stage and cameras. Just him and his brothers and grandma Rosiepuff too...

🥽 He remembers the exact moment every picture was taken, and he'll tell you every bit of context. Birthday, pranks gone wrong, holidays, first day of school— there's a snapshot for just about every milestone. All you have to do is ask and JD is more than happy to relay every childhood anecdote he can remember

🥽 It gets to the point where you eventually know just about everything about your uncles... WHO YOU HAVE NEVER EVEN MET YET AKSKSKAKAK

🥽 It's definitely something that freaks them out once you finally DO meet them

🥽 Like you'll have a conversation with Clay and they'll be like "yeah I'm not a big fan of spiders haha" and you just go "Oh that makes sense considering you used to have vivid nightmares about them crawling under your skin and tickling you to death" and Clay's just like "how the fuck did you know that????"

🥽 "Dude stop telling your kid everything about us"

"I haven't seen you guys in 20 years! I just wanted them to feel close to their uncles ;(("

"THEY DONT NEED TO KNOW ABOUT HOW I USED TO PICK MY NOSE WHEN I WAS SEVEN"

🥽 John Dory, Older Brother Who Overshares About His Younger Siblings my beloved <33

Ermmm yeahhhh this was originally gonna be one big post including ALL the brothers... but then I started writing for JD and got carries away... so yeah this ask is gonna have to be a multi-parter AJSJSJAKKA SORRY ANON I COULDN'T HELP MYSELF 🤥

NEXT PARTS ARE IN THE WORKS!!

Bruce | Clay | Floyd | Branch

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mikakuna · 2 months

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and what happens when willis todd finds out his little boy died. he knows billionaire bruce wayne adopted jay-- the whole damn country knew.

so why. why did his baby boy get a better chance at life than willis could provide, just for him to still die before him, before he became an adult?

how could willis give up his parental rights to bruce wayne, the most privileged man on earth, expecting this man to keep his baby safe and happy and healthy-- when his little jay still died alone and scared.

bruce wayne had everything he could ever ask for. he had all the means to keep his son safe from any harm. and yet jason still died before he even reached his sweet sixteen.

willis thinks that maybe it's a family curse-- a curse he has to live with, knowing that he's failed everyone he's ever loved.

#RAHHHHH #willis todd thoughts....#i know that man loved jason with his entire heart #the agony of their relationship!!!#like realistically if i -as a person who's had to fight so hard just to get money on the table for one night- found out that a billionaire #adopted my 12 year old son after i went to jail #and my child ended up dead under said billionaire's care...#not to put the blame on bruce but to put the blame on bruce actually!#me when jason and his fathers #hhajjnakdjdk!!!!#jason todd #red hood #batman #bruce wayne #willis todd #jason peter todd #dc #dc comics

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qcomicsy · 1 year

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Do I find Damian incredible annoying? Yes Will I fight every single motherfucker who resumes his entire character to violent and 'bad'? Also Yes.

#I don't know how many times I'm going to repeat myself but this is a goddamn child soldier getting repeatedly traumatize #in a family that has so many chaos that he always feels the need to prove himself in the terms he was taught #i didn't give a fuck what Damian does thats the responsibility of his father until he actually becomes responsible to his actions #and dc comics literally bought him out of nowhere just to shit on him and then repeatedly try to get rid of him for no fucking reason #Damian goin off as a way of getting Batman emotional damage it's actually very stupid dc you tried the same shit with jason in this last #ten years and not even then anybody liked #few things makes me more unreasonable piss off than batman letting his kids get away from him and then act like they don't need him #he did te same shit with dick but at least dick had the titans #this whole shit with Damian is making me read with my eyes while my hands are dialing the cps #Batman come get your fucking children your useless middle age man #bruce hate hours #damian wayne #damian al ghul #damian al ghul wayne

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thesoupisburning · 3 months

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right so you guys ever think about the spectre telling the narrator that hes more similar to her than to a person?

what "her" was she referring to? the fragment we call the spectre? the way he can only be perceived, not perceive himself? the ghost of him, the ghost of her? all of her?

im just. thinking. i always think about spectre. she has. a lot to say that i think is overlooked in favor of more common favorite routes like moment of clarity and the tower, but shes one of my favorites, and shes one of the only ones who SEES the narrator, save for wraith, who is. also her. or nightmare. and she says that hes not really a person. like her.

of course, that makes sense, we think shes a ghost and dead, so she is. but him. is the echo a ghost in the classical sense? is that what she meant? or are there layers?

she says he's not really like a person. what is a person to her? is she comparing the narrator to the "shards of broken glass on the floor" are her interactions with us and the voices the only "person" she knows?

i love love love when this game separates the narrator from us and our voices. i love it so much i think about it daily. props to tower for "layer of grime" that fucks so hard.

i don't have a thesis im just. thinking. how much of the narrator is left. really.

#sigh.#slay the princess #the spectre #the spectre stp #the echo stp #the echo slay the princess #the narrator stp #the narrator slay the princess #just thoughts man #my lovely partner presented a great concept today: the bird with teeth is his sona #while thats funny as hell i also think that that line of thinking makes. iogiuhuiogh it makes sooo much #like thoughts #i love the narrator i hate him so much #i need to pull him apart like a chicken bone #if that is his sona is his. echo. a comment on what we leave behind #our creations as extensions of the self?#or is it just meant to be literal. this man killed himself to destroy death for his world.#a part of him lives on in hell #infinite hims across all realities #but which part? a persona? an object? a skeleton?#how much of the echo is the creator? just how sentient is this guy #in other words. is he a literal ghost like the spectre #or is he something else entirely. a child created in the father's image #okay peace and love i will think about this For Ever <3 #soup shut up challenge #burntsoupwords

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nikoisme · 9 months

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Okay so I feel like that if my men Odysseus and Hector ever interacted (in a not-enemy way) they would have the energy of "two dads in the tool section of a shop". One would see the other checking out a drill and he would be like "hey that's actually pretty bad, not a good investment man". Then they would spend a solid 30 minutes talking about the different tools they use. They would bond. Immediate bros. And then they leave and like never interact again

#the iliad #odysseus #hector of troy #greek mythology #tagamemnon #they are tired dads #maybe they see eachother only in that shop #they don't know the other's name #i've witnessed this particular bond firsthand #it's very specific #i think that ody would be more experienced with that kind of stuff #hector is a brand-new fresh father and he is still learning #but my man ody has a child that he last saw when he was a baby #it's obvious to me #they had a short interaction in book 3 in the iliad methinks #where they were determining the area in which menelaus and paris would fight in #they just want to be over with this shit

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jay-birds-fly · 2 years

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Please tell me someone else has seen this film

#sea beast #sea beast netflix #found family #i love when a grumpy man adopts a spunky child #gave me how to train your dragons vibes tbh #begrudgingly father figure characters my beloved #netflix original #animated film #netflix #movie memes #cartoon #omg hit tweet! /j

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quasarden · 1 year

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This is how mission 20 went right.

#dmc #nero dmc #vergil dmc #devil may cry #dmc5 #my art #quick doodle since I haven't drawn in over a week #local man forces father to pay child support via suplexes

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mokeonn · 1 year

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yeah tell us about sean the ugly baby

okay so,

back in february I got bored and wanted to draw a character of mine from an rp group, but I didn't have any ideas. So I simply put him into the sims and drew what happened and posted it to the group. I chose Sims 2 for the variety, and went in. Making a 2000's version of my oc, Frankie, to do silly things for me to draw and my friends to giggle at:

And it was silly and fun! But during this, he ended up getting abducted by aliens, which was absolutely hilarious at the time.

However, in the sims series, there's an odd little thing that happens. Male sims that were abducted by aliens have a chance to come back pregnant. Well in the Sims 2: male sims were guaranteed to come back pregnant, only in later expansions did they introduce the possibility of it not happening.

So he got pregnant. whatever, just a bunch of mpreg jokes. Right? Well it turns out there's a small chance that Alien babies end up with their human parent's eyes! Which wouldn't be so bad with the base eyes, but I happen to use custom content.

So I was expecting this:

and I got this:

which was SO HORRIFYING and not what I was expecting. It took all my willpower to not name this baby something mean like "Beebo the Ugly child". So I named him Sean. Because that was the first non-mean name I could think of.

Of course, my character loved and cared for him. After all, he was a kind person who would love his mpreg baby no matter how ugly he was.

I however, did not.

I hoped that he might just be an ugly baby, and that he'll grow out of it as he gets older.

He did not.

he got UGLIER.

This horrifying Benjamin Button ass space creation haunted my home for 4 sim days. We prayed once again, that he was simply an ugly duckling. That he was simply going to grow into more age-appropriate features.

Sean once again, disappointed me.

It was torture having to care for a sim I hated so much, but couldn't be cruel to because it was simply out of character for my ocs to hate him. Sean got treated with the utmost kindness. He got everything a child could hope for.

Didn't stop me from making jokes though.

#simon says #ask #sims 2 #art #my art #ocs #I hope you guys find this as funny as I do #I worry that the rp lore and context is too heavily intertwined with this but also I think Sean's ugliness is universal #And my hatred for this child knows no bounds #I still think the toddler stage was the worst #he fucking looked like spock but specifically the old man version and specifically if spock had shrek for a father #I don't plan on playing the household anymore but if I ever did I would absolutely keep giving Sean a good life despite how I hate him #he deserves a good life and it is my duty to give it to him despite the fact that he keeps giving me the blue eyed stare

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