#this isn't anything too serious just something that always struck me

[whentheresmoonlight]

Why Katsuki reads as queer coded.

Long before I shipped bkdk, Katsuki read as a queer character to me. Not meaning that Hori was assigning a sexual orientation to him but that he has qualities that parallel or make sense within the common narrative of the (western, I'm reading this through a western lens) queer experience. Here's why:

Disclaimer that this isn't to say that these traits make someone queer or that Katsuki is being intentionally written as queer, it's just reading Katsuki through a queer theory lens 👍

1. Perfectionism

Katsuki, if nothing else, is an incredibly hard worker. It's clear that in middle school, he worked to be at the top of his class. While he's a naturally intelligent and talented guy--as we see with his early skills in both sports and kanji in flashbacks--it's implied that he works for it. He doesn't have to work as hard as Izuku does, but it seems as though he works harder than, say, Todoroki does. I interpret this due to the way he berates his friends for underachieving in class. He knows that he's inherently smart, but he also knows that he achieves what he does via hard work, and so--as with Izuku in the flashbacks--he doesn't understand why his peers don't achieve the same.

Perfectionism is a classic queer-coded trait because it's a shield. If I'm otherwise perfect, no one can hate me for the thing that makes me different. It's a queer impulse to try and disguise "negative" traits with armor in the form of positive traits. You see this in people who are bullied becoming the class clown, for example, using comedy as their armor. If a queer person is afraid of not being loved for who they are, there's an impulse to be valued for what they can offer. This can manifest in overachieving and overcompensating so that they are never looked at with scrutiny, so that they can never be found out.

Katsuki makes himself scrupulous. He has an interest in maxing out every merit-based skill that he can so that he is no longer able to be scrutinized. He even takes advantage of popularity despite not liking people, as it's social capital and makes him more untouchable. He doesn't ever want anyone to look deeper than the skills that he offers. And when this strategy is interrupted, we see--

2. Anger

Anger comes from fear of vulnerability. In the context of the queer experience, this can easily be a reflex to keep people at a distance, as the perfectionism does, and a manifestation of repression. For Katsuki, it's both.

I don't think I need to put much explanation into how anger distances Katsuki from others. People's first impression is to fear him and then either avoid him or follow behind him. This collapses somewhat at UA, where people don't fear him, but it keeps him from forming bonds with people on any other basis than mutual respect. There's not a lot of intimacy like we see in, say, the early Todoroki + Iida + Izuku dynamics.

There's an argument to be made that Katsuki's explosive personality is a nature/nurture mix from his mother. That he's mirroring her behavior and that's basically it. No repression or fear involved. But we don't see enough of his parents/childhood to really spell that out. What we do get a good view of is his early desires from Izuku.

In those aforementioned flashback scenes, we see Katsuki not simply being confused when Izuku is unable to juggle a soccer ball, skip stones, or read kanji--Katsuki is upset by it. He's having strong feelings that he doesn't understand (not necessarily romantic! They're young!) and he covers them with anger. This continues through to middle school, when Katsuki is angry that Izuku is applying to UA, angry when they're paired against each other in the first partner exercise and Izuku has some success, when they're paired together for the final exam. These are BIG feelings and what for?

At first, Katsuki wanted Izuku to be on his same level, in the flashback scenes, and he was let down when Izuku wasn't. Then, after the river scene, Katsuki switches, and wants Izuku to be pushed down, to prove his own superiority in the face of Izuku's inherent goodness. This pairs his need to be perfect with an inability to face his admiration for Izuku. When he begins to see enviable qualities in Izuku, he represses those positive impressions. Whether or not you're reading bnha through a bkdk lens, there is repression here. Katsuki doesn't want to feel that there is something desirable about Izuku, that there's something he could be given by Izuku. That feels unsafe to his sense of self, and hence: anger. Anger, which is a trait also found in--

3. Masculinity

Masculinity is different culture to culture, and I'm not cultured enough to unpack the differences between western and JP representations of masculinity, so we're just gonna cast a wide net here.

Katsuki's parents are fashion designers, yet Katsuki pursues the absolute most violent career path that exists. And yes, this is because being a hero is the best (meaning very public to a young child with the trappings of fame and valor), and because his quirk is compatible with it, but that's not where the story ends.

All Might is Katsuki's role model. And yet, the persona Katsuki takes up is nothing like All Might's. As stated earlier, Katsuki is smart. He's smart enough to recognize that All Might is kind, friendly, generous, and likeable and that those are inextricable parts of his brand. And yet, Katsuki goes out of his way to instead be cold, mean, and unapproachable.

Again, wide net, but these are masculine traits. They keep a person closed off and inaccessible. They make it impossible to get close enough to really see a person. This is the same kind of shield that the perfectionism provides: armor against intimacy and scrutiny.

And, of course, the thing that a man can never be is weak. Weak is feminine. For a man, weakness is queer.

Katsuki's greatest fear seems to be being found out as weak. We begin to see him unpacking this, as he begins to admit to himself that Izuku is stronger than him, but, of course, we also see just how much work goes into him unpacking it. It only comes from honest self-reflection about himself, his bad defense mechanisms, and his relationship with Izuku. With introspection, he fears weakness less.

In conclusion

Queer theory is about heteronormativity and what it means when a person deviates from the norm into queerness. Katsuki's story in bnha is very much one of a character having many layers of armor to make him free from scrutiny, and slowly peeling those off to reveal his imperfections. This is the queer arc of a character being closeted, to a character coming out. Again, it's not to say that Katsuki is literally in the coming out process, it's to say that his narrative arc is a very queer arc, and it always felt that way to me. And, of course, as a bkdk, I see both those original closeting moments and the coming out moments as pretty much all being linked to fundamental interactions with Izuku.

Tbh, this theory is still a little half-baked. I don't know enough about queer theory, and I'm lacking a bit of cultural knowledge to give Katsuki the full breakdown. But before I had a single bnha ship, it was my impression that Katsuki was gay coded, and I've had these thoughts rattling around in my brain for over three years and I finally wanted to get them out (after a previous attempt that tumblr ate, rip). Maybe later on I'll do an analysis about who I think that Deku's experience is all about compulsory heterosexuality, hehe. Thanks for reading!

#this isn't anything too serious just something that always struck me #i'll be curious if anyone has anything to add! #meta analysis #bkdk #bakugou #headcanon #queer theory #fun fact: i used to talk about this on dating apps because i was so nuts over this. the guys were NOT interested hahaha #obviously some of these things are very common experiences and traits and i know that #but they nevertheless fit well in the common queer narrative

[veintrry]

what are we?

wanderer x gn!reader, could be a modern au, angst & fluff, he's scared of trusting his 'heart'.

an: i had a dream he asked this (he asked more but I couldn't remember) and it was like a twitter back and fourth😭

ac: @/syea-say on tmblr | @/syea_say on twt & ig

"What kind of relationship do we have?"

The question came abruptly, bringing the silence to an end. You noticed beforehand that it seemed like something was on his mind, he appeared to be elsewhere in his mind, pondering deeply. Is this what that was about?

He doesn't wait for you to answer, not yet, he continues,

"Love always ends in disappointment." He turns to face you properly, a stoic look in his eyes, his lips pressed into a line. "You're a mortal too, so what's the point of pursing something like this when it'll come to an end anyways?"

He was right to say that. I mean, you are a mortal, you have an expiration date, so does everyone, but to you and the majority of others it's normal, because it's something you learn to live with an accept.

"Everything ends at some point, you know there's not much to be done about that. We can only make good of what we have now."

"That's such a boring answer." He scrutinises you, his brows furrowing. "You know that's not what I want to hear."

You stare back at him, quiet as you think of what to say. You could easily just tell him that you won't leave him, that you'll never allow that to happen. But you can't make such a huge promise, if you break it, it would feel like a lie. You don't want to lie to him, but you don't want to disappoint him.

"There is no real point." You turn your head to look elsewhere, opting to view the scenery than see his face scrunch up. You didn't want whatever reaction he had to offer you, not when you weren't sure if the reception would be good.

"Do you think I do things because they'll last?" You crouch down to the plants nearby, touching their tips with your finger. "Nothing lasts. Everything ends." Life was no different than a leaf, but what defined it was not the tree that beared it nor it's kind but rather how far it travelled, how big it's world was. "But if I just did nothing my entire life and waited for that end to come it would've been no different from the beginning."

"What the hell are you trying to say?" The wanderer crosses his arms. He doesn't want anything complicated right now, each answer that isn't what he wants to hear sounds more like the opposite; Like you don't want to be here, with him.

Turning your head up at him, he was starting to bother you with his unspoken persistence for you to just say what he wanted you to and you began speaking directly, "I'm saying that the only reason life is considered to have an end is based on if you actually do something during it." You stayed quiet for a bit before letting out a heavy breath after some contemplation. "I don't want to do nothing." It didn't matter how many years passed, how old you are or how weak you are. If you still have time then you might as well live in it.

"Kuni, you might have existed a long time but have you properly lived? You act so humane and yet you deny any internal ties to humanity. Isn't it more like you're using my mortality as an excuse to forbid yourself from acknowledging your own denials?"

That, that was most definitely the last thing he wanted to hear. You having said you can't be here with him would have been bad, but somehow this was worse because he had his reality forced infront of him. It was humiliating in a way, to be exposed when you were always bare. You can see his face growing frustrated, he seemed as though he was trying to bite his tongue but you might've struck a nerve. "An excuse?" A degrading laugh erupted from his throat, "Are you serious? Why would I need an excuse? I don't need to be human in the first place, this has nothing to do with that. You're the one making up things and avoiding giving me an answer."

You were on the brink of leading to an argument and even you couldnt keep your head cool. You stand up in defense as you shoot back. "I'm not avoiding anything. I'll stay with you for as long as my lifespan allows it, but I cannot and will not tell you that I will stay forever."

There was an aching silence that followed. As though this was concrete, like this was just shattering. You didn't know what it was breaking, you didn't know if it was your relationship or him, but you had to try and fix it before it worsens.

"Kuni, I love you, I want you to be happy, not just now but onwards as well." Your gaze falls onto his hands. You want to reach out, but you cant bring yourself to out of fear he'd deny you. You know he might want you to, as a sign of.. anything, but you can't. "I don't want you to rely on me, I want you to be capable of accepting yourself and finding comfort within who you are."

"Well then, ...Who am I?" The wanderers head stays stuck to the ground as if if he keeps his sights on it it would open up and just, do something, swallow him, let him forget this, forget everything, Bury him deep in the dirt and have the roots of all life suffocate him. "What?"

"You said within who I am, so, who am I?"

You didn’t want to do this a second time, "Kuni-"

"Please," He pauses, releasing a shaky breath from the confines of his chest. "just answer."

"You're who you say you are. I won't define you."

He latches onto your wrist, pulling you to him, underneath his hat as his head beckons upwards and you finally get to see his face rid of that anger. Instead, it is replaced with a pleading look, almost desperate. "I want you to,"

"I need you to do it. I don't know how else I am meant to do it. I don't know who I am. I wasn't meant to have an identity, I'm not like you, I'm not a human." In a way, admitting that was a painful thing. No matter how alike to humans he was, he wasn't one. "You were made, I was built. You breathe the moment you are born, I taught myself to." The more he spoke you felt like he was trying to implement this difference into your mind, that if you couldn't promise him forever you should be irked by him.

"We are different, but you are still a person to me. Do you think that I've ever seen you as anything else? Do you think I want to leave you alone? I care for you, I do so much that it kills me. And I hate how if you asked something of me I'd give it to you so easily, but not this. I won't lie to you." It would've been an odd thing for you to say, but to you, the wanderer made you feel alive, it made all the previous events of your life pale in comparison, and you truly, felt alive. You don't know why but with this emotion came care and you want to continue to value him, to love him, even when you've passed.

"Our relationship doesn't matter, you just need to know that I love you." You yank his wrist and pull him into you as your other arm slips under his and around his back, holding him tightly as you rest your head in the coup of his neck. "I love you, Kuni. I love you, I love you, I love you." And with each time you repeated it you lifted your head to his neck, planting small kisses, hoping he can feel it, what you do.

The wanderer merely stood there, paralysed. He still wants the unreal fantasy of eternity. But, he finds himself caving to the warmth of what you were offering despite how bittersweet it. It was fulfilling despite the fact it reflects the temporary time you two had, but he no longer found his mind wandering off to then, to when you'd slip away from him. He could feel you. Hands slither to your back, pulling you deeper into him, so deep till there was no space between you two but he still wanted more. He wanted to be with you, just as one, to know all of you. And he was worried he wouldn't have enough time for that. But just for now, for this moment, he wants to listen to your voice, to feel your body temperature, and rest.

He simply leans in, and kisses your forehead, before tilting his head onto yours. This is fine, this is okay. He can live with this, for as long as he can have it.

#wanderer #kunikuzushi #scaramouche #wanderer angst #wanderer genshin #wanderer x reader #kunikuzushi x reader #genshin impact #scara x reader #genshin scaramouche #genshin scara #scaramouche x reader #scaramouche angst #genshin kunikuzushi #kunikuzushi angst

[spectralquartzafterdark]

In your AoE rewrite does Bumblebee ever call out Megatrons feelings for Rosie? I feel like he and Megatron would at least have thst in common since in my opinion Bee loved Charlie 😭

Ooh I actually have this written!

I was a scout. Observation was my job. To look out for anything suspicious. And I only got better at it when I lost my voice. 

This entire mission had felt like a fever dream. When Sam and Optimus told me to stay with Rosie and Megatrons crew I wasn't happy. I knew logically Megatron wasn't a threat, but I didn't trust him. The only saving grace was the fact Jazz was around to keep things light. Rosie always seemed tense and Megatron mirrored her anxiety. A side effect of their interlink no doubt. 

But as we made our way through the Appalachian mountains - I had noticed a small change in the former warlord. One I recognized all too well. It was something I had experienced. Something I still hold a bit of resentment towards Optimus for. 

Megatron was looking at Rosie as if she were his conjunx. This theory was only solidified when he shut down for the night. I had caught him talking in his sleep a few times. It was always Ancient cybertronian. He could hide how his felt. But his spark couldn't. I took note and recordings. Just in case. 

I understood that all too well. I still missed Charlie. It had been decades - and she still lived in my processors. In my spark. I couldn't let another bot suffer like I do. Even if it was a bot I still held hate for. I wouldn't wish this spark break on anyone. Including my worst enemy. 

So, one day when it was just us and the humans and others were in sleep mode. I motioned for him to follow me. 

“Follow me into the dark~” I kept my radio low and he followed me.

“Bumblebee is there something wrong?” He asked.

I looked to him, I pointed at myself and shook my head before I pointed at him and nodded. 

“Gotta talk.” I played and wiggled. 

“Well what is it?” Megatron was getting impatient. 

“I can hear the things that you're dreaming about. When you open up your heart

And the truth comes out.” 

“What in Primus are you talking about?” I Watched his faceplate contort, “I've not said anything.”

“And I know that I'm right. 'Cause I hear it in the night.” I pointed in Rosie's direction. 

“SPIT IT OUT.” that struck a nerve. I was on the right track.

“I hear the secrets that you keep

When you're talking in your sleep.” I just stared at him.

He went still, I finger gunned at him. I patted my chassis and smiled showing him I understood. 

“She's human… I can't…” He started. 

I shook my head and switched the song, “Tell her you need her too. You tell her clearly. Speak what your heart wants you to.”

I was grateful for Spotify and Sirius radio. It made things easy. 

“I… why help me?” He asked. 

“Charlie.” I looked down and trilled. It hurt, but I knew he needed to know. 

“Ah…” I heard him vent and watched as his stance relax, “Why care about my situation?”

“Don't suffer alone.” I let the radio play. 

I watched his face. As he nodded I felt pride. I didn't trust him nor could I ever forgive him for what he had done to us. To cybertron. But I had faith he was serious about this change. And I would support it anyway I could. 

And another cybertronian who loved a human? That was an ally I couldn't push away. If I couldn't have my person - he should. She was good for him. And I could tell she loved him too.

“Thank you… Bumblebee. I'll tell her when I get a chance.” He finally spoke, “I appreciate the faith you've placed in me. I know our history - isn't …”

I whirred to let him know it was okay. 

“I swear I'll atone. I will do better be better. For cybertron… for her.” He said. 

“You go tiger.” I clapped my servos and saluted him as we headed back. 

I notes Rosie was back up and looked distressed as she sleepily reached for Megatron. He chuckled and picked her up and both got nestled in for the night. 

I could see our future in them. And it was bright. Cybertron would rise again and the Earth would be protected for eons to come.

#transformers #megatron #mccadams #megatron x human #megatron x rosie #rosie writes #bumblebee #charbee #bayverse megatron

[bylertruther]

what do you think about will's line "you make [me] feel like [I'm] not a mistake at all" coming after the rain fight? he was devastated by the rain fight and thought of himself as stupid because of what mike said to him about not liking girls. he also destroyed castle byers because he was so hurt by mike's words. how does that fit into will's perception of mike as someone who has never made him feel like a mistake and who makes him feel better for being different?

(I really hope this ask doesn't come across as anti-mike or anti-byler bc I love mike and I love the ship so much, I'm just trying to understand how will's clear hurt after the rain fight and the distance from mike in lenora connects to the van scene and I'm asking you because you seem to have a good grasp on will's character)

warning: this is Extremely Long and i am Extremely Sorry, but the rain fight and what it means for their characters is one of my favorite things to talk about ever and so i have So Many Things to say abt it. sorry i lov u don't bite me pls.

no, i think it's totally fair to ask that! seriously, don't worry at all about how you come across. i don't agree with the idea that liking something = never acknowledging its flaws, so i'm always down to discuss stuff like this. i'm going to dive deep into my interpretation of the rain fight, because i feel i need to express that first in order to answer your question fully.

if i'm honest, back when it aired, the rain fight was what 100% struck down any microscopic crumb-of-a-crumb of hope that i had for byler in Any capacity, platonic or not. i finished the season and then didn't give a single shit about the show as a whole afterward, because i felt like it was such a slap in the face. not only to will, but mike, too, considering this is a character that's stood by will's side against all sorts of monsters, whether they were middle school homophobic bullies or eldritch monsters.

at the time, it was exceedingly difficult to reconcile the mike i loved and the mike i was seeing on screen, but i feel a little more clear on it now. i could be totally wrong, clouded by my own bias and perception, but here's how i see it all.

the rain fight hurt me more than anything in the entire show, because of how real it is and how neither of them are objectively wrong.

mike is in his very first relationship. it's shiny, exciting, and new. he's kissing all day, getting a rise out of authority figures, and having enough fun that he spends All of his time with her. it's not a serious relationship, but he's a kid, el is the first girl ever that isn't repulsed by him, they have an Insane trauma bond, and she's his "superman". it's not serious but it's Serious 2 Him, you know? he feels like a Big Boy now and he hides from his Very Bad Do-NOT-Touch-Or-EVER-Think-About Trauma behind this relationship. it makes him feel like he's moving forward.

will is feeling a similar sense of exhilaration and freedom. the gate was closed and the upside down has fled their world for good. hooray! he can finally be a teen again! he can finally be his version of Normal now, aka the will he was before the upside down! no more now memories, true sight, or fear that Something will come to get him, whether physically or mentally. he's a hostage unchained basically. it's summer, he has his party, and he just wants to have a good time with them. he just wants to be happy, live a little, and feel safe.

mike is seeking safety and reprieve in a girlfriend and will is seeking safety and reprieve in his friends.

but then...

mike's turning point:

mike is told that if he wants to continue to see el, he has to lie to her. so he does and then his Serious 2 Him relationship is over in a very unserious blink of an eye lol. he doesn't know how to win her back, because he doesn't actually know her, and he's understandably upset because he Wants To Have A Girlfriend Again because she's his Crutch.

he Needs her to feel Normal, but she does Not need him, which canonically makes him jealous. remember that this is something Super Important to his character, because having a girlfriend means he's Cool and Normal and Needed, which are more important than water and food to mike right now. i reiterate this, because that's mike's Entire Thing Since Forever. he Needs to keep up the act, because he doesn't like who he is without it as we learn in s4. he Needs it, desperately.

as such, this has him out of sorts and he seeks out lucas's help to win her back. we know mike, which means we know that he can get tunnel vision when he fears he might lose someone. so, this aggravates his already-negligent behaviors ("i was worrying too much about el" [paraphrased], "it's been like this all summer") and he turns into a Super Shitty Friend.

... i was going to go over will's turning point, but his journey is pretty clear, i think. everyone has a girlfriend and they all want to do girlfriend activities and they canonically forget about him in the process. he's there and yet no one sees him. ouch. lets fast forward to the fight.

will has reached his breaking point, because this campaign he's worked so hard on and is putting genuine effort into to make engaging for his friends is being treated like a joke. they're not laughing with him; his friends, his best friends are laughing at him. and that fucking Hurts. he's been trying to get them to do things they used to do, he's been trying to have fun with them in any capacity, and now that they're here... he's the fucking joke of the hour and they're quite literally jumping up and running at any opportunity to cast him aside.

so, you know what? fine. whatever. you guys win; i give up. have fun with the girls. i'm going home. lucas is shocked to the point of speechlessness at how upset will is, but mike immediately jumps into action. he softens, tries to go back to the game in earnest this time with lucas, and goes after him - almost trampling lucas - when his pleas are ignored.

will was invisible (to all, to mike) until he wasn't. (something about being careful what you wish for..?)

now, we fast forward again to the moment when will's heart is torn in two: "it's not my fault you don't like girls!"

first, let me say this: michael wheeler is a fucking bitch. we know this and we love him for it even when it hurts. that was a shitty thing to say, but... that does not make him The Shittiest Boy Alive, Ever. not even a little bit.

in season three, mike is a teenager behaving like a teenager. he felt ambushed by will's feelings and like it wasn't fair that this was all on him. ("you're the heart / without heart, we'd all fall apart"; again, the party is his responsibility, "but why is this all on me? why am i the bad guy?"; mike always has to be the leader, carrying the party on his back, but he himself doesn't get to unwind which is unfair in his eyes.) he isn't privy to will's journey like we are; he's caught up in his own world and his own shit, remember? he doesn't react super well, but will is yelling at him, very upset over something He Didn't Even Know He Was Doing All This Time ("you knew she was having trouble for a year and didn't tell me" aka this is where the "will doesn't tell mike the truth until it's too late" pattern begins), and telling him that he's the one ruining the party over some stupid girl, aka his (ex-)girlfriend, aka the girl that saved their lives, aka the girl that saved the Entire world twice so maybe don't call her stupid, will. (mike always sticks up for people, so of course he isn't going to react well to el being called stupid here, even by will.)

he shouldn't have said it, but mike is knee-jerk, cornered-animal reacting to will putting this all on mike's shoulders at the very last second after never having given him a chance to fix any of his actions. will bottled this all up and then exploded on him. of course mike isn't going to react well. of course he's going to put his foot in his mouth and say the first thing that comes to mind.

because in his mind, it really isn't his fault that will doesn't like girls lol. and it isn't HIS sole fault that the party is falling apart. not everything has to land on HIS shoulders. not everything has to be HIS responsibility.

he's a kid going through his own shit, that's lashing out at someone for lashing out at him first. it was shitty, it hurt will to his core, but i don't think mike meant to be cruel. he immediately backed down, tried to explain himself rationally (that they're all just changing and will should've expected that bc it's not like they can be the same kids forever), and then went after will (literally across town, on bikes, in the pouring rain and thunder, to his house and then to castle byers) to apologize.

he doesn't do this with anyone else—not even lucas or his own girlfriend. and when he does apologize? it's because someone is forcing him to, walking him through it, or because they did it first. mike doesn't ever make the first move or humble himself first... unless it's will. then he suddenly knows exactly what to do and what will needs from him. because he knows will and he listens to will.

everything that he did for will in that scene is precisely, word-for-word, what max told eleven that he'd do for her In The Same Episode just moments prior—but he didn't. he didn't!

he did everything he was "supposed to" without guidance or hesitation or headassery... for will.

when eleven confronts mike in season four and tells him he never says i love you, mike responds, very seriously, with "i say it." and you know what? i agree with him wholeheartedly.

mike loves will more than anyone. we're shown very clearly from the very beginning that the only person in the show that rivals his love, devotion, and loyalty for will is joyce. and will knows this! that's why mike is his bestest best friend! that's why he's hopelessly in love with him! because "max, dustin, and lucas, they're great..." but they're not mike! no one treats will the way mike does, and mike doesn't treat anyone the way he treats will! they're perfect for each other and will knows this! that's why he expected and wanted a future with mike!

and... he thought that mike wanted that, too. because THAT'S the crux of the rain fight. it isn't that will is gay. it's that will thought mike wanted Crazy Together, too! it's right there in the dialogue, what it is that they're really fighting about:

MIKE: I mean, what did you think, really? That we were never going to get girlfriends? We were just gonna sit in my basement all day and play games for the rest of our lives? WILL: Yeah. I guess I did. I really did.

the fight is representative of an amalgamation of things and it cuts will's life into yet another before and after, but the point isn't that will doesn't like girls. the point was that will really thought it was always going to be them together—he thought they both wanted that; that that would be the one thing that never changed, even if they and everything else around them did.

when will is looking at a picture of them and saying "stupid.. so stupid" and RIPS IT DOWN THE MIDDLE BETWEEN HIM AND MIKE, with the memories that Start And End With Mike And His Voice Being The Focal Point, i interpret it as him feeling stupid enough to think that his feelings, his wants, and his dreams were ever reciprocated. stupid enough to believe that mike really did mean crazy together in every single way. that he meant it the way that will meant it and had always meant it.

mike is the one that brings up forever and will confirms it. he says yes, i did want that with you and i thought you wanted it, too. their argument ends there, because THAT was the real issue. You Got A Girlfriend And Replaced Me With Her; Something I Never Thought We Would Do To Each Other. THAT'S (!!!!!) the issue. THAT'S why mike looks so devastated afterward. THAT'S why he bikes in the rain to apologize. THAT'S why he looks so sheepish when will puts his dnd book in the donation box, why he's worried that Will Is Going To Replace Him With Someone Else!!! because their rain fight was about the fact that it was no longer him and mike against the world!! mike got a girlfriend and broke their unspoken promise!!

THAT'S why mike repeats "we're friends. we're. friends." at rink-o-mania, why he tried calling him all the time for Months (he felt like he'd lost will the same way that will felt like he'd lost mike last summer, their roles were perfectly and exactly reversed here), why he said that hawkins wasn't the same without him / there's no one like you, why he said they should be a team again (an Us, a We, Crazy Together; curiously after his gf breaks up with him lmao). it's the same fight all over again. "i lost you" / "i'm right here." + "friends... best friends." / "not possible." it's always about loss with these two.

that's why i feel like the rain fight doesn't contradict will's van confession. i think will's line of thinking is that mike can't help how he feels; aka, "i can't blame him for not returning my feelings / outgrowing our childhood love". and him not returning will's feelings doesn't make will feel like a mistake.

what made will feel like a mistake was his desire to go back to how things were and the realization that that was impossible. will tears down castle byers because it's too full of everything he once had and he learned the hard way that There Is No Going Back, There Is Only Going Forward. the theme of s3 is about change and will realizes this in the most heartbreaking way possible.

i hate the idea of anyone reconstructing castle byers, because the point is that will outgrew it. he can't hide through escapism in dnd or in castle byers. he has to build a life that he loves and feels safe enough in that he Doesn't Need a castle byers. (that's why s4 has him coming out of his shell wrt his sexuality and wanting to be open and honest about it as much as he can be with the ones that he loves and trusts, and he'll continue/conclude that journey in s5).

in season three:

mike learns that he doesn't Need eleven (see: how happy he was with will especially at the end, seemingly on good terms, and giddy still as he told el abt them coming over for christmas [note how he mentioned playing games in their basement for the rest of their lives in their fight vs how he's making plans to have them both over so they can play with their gifts {aka he's still thinking of will bc he Wants that future with him, too, deep down}]) ... until she kisses him, tells him she loves him, and then his brain breaks and all hell breaks lose again because the byers are literally leaving in just a couple minutes so how the FUCK is he going to deal with any of that, AND THEN in s4 when he does seem okay with being broken up with again he's then 1) reminded that she's his responsibility and 2) he needs to save her because if he doesn't then the world literally goes to hell and they all fucking die. so. yanno. that's tough. mike takes two beautiful steps forward and then gets pulled fifty steps back every time.

and will learns that hiding is not the same thing as living and that he needs to stop that if he wants to be able to move forward (see: "he's good at hiding", using dnd as an escape vs him giving away his dnd books + hopper's letter and the cave metaphor + being more open in s4 and wanting to "come clean" about being gay + the gay-coded advice he gives mike abt truth and fear).

mike definitely hurt him, but that's one moment out of a million where he's otherwise made will feel strong, loved, and capable, and will has told us that much himself more than once. will doesn't fault mike for wanting something else, someone else. he loves him without any expectation of it being reciprocated in that way.

he loves him, just because; because mike has always loved him and shown him a kindness and mercy like no other; because mike has known what he is and loved him anyway; because mike came to him and told him he didn't deserve anything after their fight, that hawkins wasn't the same without him, that the past year was weird without him, that he's more to mike than any of their other friends even after all this time, that they should be a team again as they face the end of the world together without superman's help.

because no matter what... they always love each other in a way that no one else does. even if will wants more than that, even if he aches with it, he still knows that what he has with mike is so special as it is. and that's enough for him.

mike didn't treat him any differently when their biggest concern was some mouthbreather calling him a fairy and he didn't treat him any differently after the upside down when everyone walked on eggshells around him, thinking he was about to break. mike has always treated him like a person that is strong and loved, and one sentence in the middle of a fight during a very stressful time for both of them doesn't diminish a history bursting with love.

i think what will fears isn't mike knowing he's gay, but mike knowing how will actually feels about him. i say this, because of the van confession and this line of will's in particular:

Sometimes I think it's just scary to open up like that. To say how you really feel, especially to people you care about the most. Because, what if… what if they don't like the truth?

this is played with the [tender, emotional music] which we know the sound directors used for intimate moments. will is also gauging mike's reaction here, giving him a searching kind of look, like he's testing the waters. will doesn't know this, but we as viewers know that this is a conversation about mike not being able to tell eleven he loves her. it isn't a reach to say then that will is talking not about being gay, but specifically about "how [he] really [feels]" about mike. that's what scares him: his unreciprocated crush, not his sexuality.

the duffers have said that will is trying to make himself be understood in the van scene and that will cries because mike doesn't get it. if he thought that mike was a homophobe, he wouldn't want to share this about himself. instead, mike makes him feel better for his otherness in all its shades. he wants to tell mike, because he wants to be honest with him and release some of that burden from his chest. but he's scared. he's so, so unbelievably fucking scared.

because, it's exactly as will says: "what if [he doesn't] like the truth?" what if that ruins the friendship that they just rebuilt? what if eleven finds out and then it's Even More Weird and Uncomfortable for everyone involved?

and considering how self-sacrificing will is... i feel like that's his other biggest concern regarding that entire clusterfuck. he loves them both. he doesn't want to hurt them or come between what he Thinks they have, because that'd be selfish and will isn't ever selfish even when he should be.

will's line about mike making him feel better for being different has canon support from season one and two. mike's outburst in season three is an outlier in his otherwise spotless record of loving will byers to an unhinged degree. even in season four, we see that mike never stopped reaching out to will. it was will who never reached out and mike was understandably upset about that, but even then he did try to include will afterward only to get iced out which "sabotaged the whole day" in his eyes. will didn't know this, though, and that's why he behaved the way that he did. still, will knows who mike is when he's not pretending and he wants mike to know who he is when he's not hiding. the rain fight hurt will indescribably, yes, but not because of the "it's not my fault you don't like girls" line in the way that it's understandably interpreted. so... i think it all fits together just fine.

#i could write essays on essays on essays on epic poems abt the rain fight bro don't get me STARTEDDDDDDDD #believe it or not this was me holding back 2 the point where i had to take so much out n try to condense it. #byler #byler analysis #asks #long post #mine

[lumpkinboi]

Flat Affect

a thing i've found out by googling the other day is something called flat affect, which i really resonated with and it brought to light what i've been dealing with since forever.

i'm not sure what's the problem in my head, but i'm not neurotypical. i have a very serious anxiety problem and i also have a very difficult time interfacing with regular social norms in conversation. people mentioned that i'm weird, that i have a very intense gaze, that i look scary and that i talk very little.

i'm not stupid, i'm very aware of these issues, but one thing that always struck a cord in me was the weird part. why am i weird? is it the way i walk? it is a little slanted sometimes. maybe it was because i'm tall and my back isn't very straight. it could be the way i talk, when i get nervous (which is usual if i'm talking to someone i'm unfamiliar with) i stutter a lot.

but none of these really made much sense. stuttering isn't weird, nor is being nervous. having a crooked back might look a bit weird, but it doesn't make you weird to talk to. and walking doesn't have anything to do with talking either.

it made me become more self aware of how i talked to people, and eventually i started realizing why people think that about me, but i never managed to put it in words. i have a symptom called flat affect, which took me a long time to find. i kinda found it on a whim a few nights ago when i was in bed.

what flat affect does is make you unable to properly externalize emotion. very often in conversation, i acknowledge what someone said to me, but i don't know how to respond. conversation doesn't flow naturally. it's not that i ignored them, i just don't know how to convey that i acknowledged what was said. so i'll laugh, or smile, to try to keep it less awkward. but that doesn't work, because, as it turns out, my "intense gaze" as people described it also stems from that same flat affect.

i started smiling in the mirror the same way i smile to other people and i realized that they can't see my smile. i can feel my facial muscles contort as i try to smile, and i know i am smiling, but it doesn't look like it. from an outside perspective, it looks like i'm staring you down, but to me, i feel like i'm smiling.

another issue with flat affect is body language. i'm really difficult to read, and that makes people unsettled. i don't move my body a lot when speaking to people, so it's feels like talking to a statue. i'm also very blunt, straight forward, and my voice is fairly monotone, which might get people confused and think i'm angry or annoyed at them.

that's not to say i have trouble experiencing emotion. having trouble showing emotional responses and feeling emotions are not the same thing. i get happy, sad, angry, shocked, just like anybody else, it's just hard for me to show it without literally saying what i feel like.

that being said, i'm not insecure about it. it's just how i am and how i look like, and i'm accepting of it. it's a little annoying to deal with, and i'm sure it's something i can overcome with therapy and whatnot, so i'm not too worried about it. i just thought it was interesting to learn about and share it.

#neurodivergent #flat affect #neurodivergency #i also know a lot of autistic people experience this #i am not autistic #i don't think so at least #just in case anybody gets confused

[chromantisch]

while im still processing this emotional avalanche of an episode this moment struck me immediately because it is at the core of why team is hurting. and maybe also why win can't find the right words (yet).

"Are you still mad at me?" that is the same question he asked the photo of his childhood friend. team feels so so guilty. for causing his friend's death, for having been too reckless, too thoughtless, and possibly for surviving over him. it might not always be so obvious but that guilt is eating at him, tearing him apart. and he longs so much for just a little absolution, for his friend to tell him that he isn't mad at him.

and then it happens again. he is reckless again and he almost dies and win has to save him. and it's not exactly the same but if win can tell him that he's not mad anymore that he can be forgiven, maybe then he can also believe it. maybe then he can feel like the guilt, the hurt, will grow a little less someday.

but win doesn't know that, he can't give that to him. he is struggling to not fall apart from almost losing team, from having fallen so much deeper than he ever anticipated. he needs some distance between himself and how serious, how scary that situation was. and a part of it coud also be frustration with team being stubborn. because he doesn't understand why team did it, why he had to enter the swimming pool without permission and hurt him like that. team holds everything so close to his heart, he is so stubborn about not sharing his hurt. for him, having shown to win that he hurts at all is already so much. the thing about silence is that it keeps growing that it becomes more and more impossible to break. team doesn't know how to word that he is falling apart, let alone why. he can only ask win whether he's mad at him. and the answer is so much more devastating than a simple yes, because win voices his deepest fear, his deepest guilt: maybe he should have died that day, maybe he should have drowned instead of his friend.

win says the worst thing he possibly could and if he knew he would fall apart over it. but he doesn't know, he's just trying to somehow not lose himself in how entangled he has become, in how much he has let himself want something.

and team just can't say anything, he can only hurt in silence, because where would he even start? how can he ever put into words the things he doesn't want to think about?

#between us #between us the series #win and team are in an endless struggle for who hits closer to home for me #and for who can hurt me more #nobody talk to me today i need to think about this episode and nothing else

[opinated-user]

A weird side-effect of murder being her go-to solution to all problems is that it made her videos boring to me even when I was a fan. Whatever the problem is, whatever the villain did, whatever the scale of the issue at hand is, she always recommends killing people. That's dull as tar. As I've grown out of LO's 12-16 year old core demographic and gotten into other media, I've figure out why: Lily never has murder have any negative repercussions. In a good story, the murder can have far-reaching fallout (see also: most Star Wars tie-in and Expanded Universe materials as well as all of Star Trek Deep Space Nine), would be too likely to be caught and if we do it we're going to have to put in a lot of work not to get caught (most good crime dramas), is necessary but God it's going to haunt me (again, Star Trek Deep Space Nine) or my favorite variation, it was an accident and arguably necessary but my guilt will haunt me for the next forty years (a fanfic I've been reading).

LO isn't smart enough or creative enough to write any of that, and I have serious doubts she can feel guilt, regret or empathy enough to understand why anyone would have any issue murdering, so she can't write a scene where people have thoughts about what they did. She can't write introspection or complex thoughts, can't write most forms of interpersonal relationships beyond 'person my OC fucks', 'person who gives my OC things', and 'person my OC kills'. She doesn't know how to write people interacting, write them displaying emotions or write them thinking in a way that feels real. I thought maybe this was just my being bitter that yet another YouTuber turned out to be a TERF and a sexual predator, but then I read The Sith Resurgence with the intention of seeing if actually she was a good writer and her claim of being a ghostwriter for hire was legit. I thought I'd just misremembered her writing being bad.

If anything, I misremembered it as not being as shitty as it actually is. Take this example from TSR:

When she returned, the two continued to talk as they ate. Topics ranged from the First Order to ways to upgrade the Fury to be a more reliable, modern ship. As they spoke, Aliana found herself quite liking Rey. It was rare she got to converse with someone on such a personal level, where it almost seemed like they were friends. Usually it was potential employers and security she mostly spoke to. Maz Kanata maybe, but that old pirate seemed more like an elder than anything else.

This is dull as shit. It doesn't give us anything in the way of insight into who these people are or how they interact or what kind of dynamic they have. You could replace their names with any other Star Wars characters because there's so little individual personality there. A good writer would have it go like this:

When she returned, the two continued to talk as they ate, hesitantly at first, then with growing ease. Rey had a wealth of knowledge on ships and upgrades that Aliana was surprised to find in someone so young, and her eyes lit up as she spoke about it. That same light dimmed considerably when the First Order came up. Her smile faded to become a flat, unexpressive flat line of pursed lips instead, shoulders tensing, and Aliana was struck by a desire to change the subject. She wanted Rey to feel at ease around her. She felt like they'd been moving towards talking like friends, something she got about as little of as Jakku got rain. She would never admit it, not even to herself, but she needed that. Maybe Rey needed it, too. Maybe that was why the conversation bounced back and continued despite the gaff, Aliana hastily changing the topic to First Order ships and then onto tech in general again. Seeing Rey relax and smile again filled Aliana with a sense of satisfaction she couldn't quite explain. She wanted to see Rey smile.

And then there's this unemotional garbage later:

Han sighed and shrugged. “Yeah. We got a Sith on our side now. I know, I never thought I’d live to see the day. But do you know what that means? It means I know that you aren’t lost yet. You can still turn away from this Ben. You can come home. This isn't a death sentence for you.”

HE'S TALKING TO HIS SON WHO JOINED A TERRORIST ORGANIZATION. Use an adjective, a modifier, a descriptor of body language, give us something! This is a pivotal moment and he's written with all the seriousness of someone discussing his Fantasy Football team. A better writer would do something like this:

Han sighed and shrugged. He was aiming for his usual casual, devil-may-care attitude, but something about it was off. The hair he insisted was silver looked white in the stark lighting, every wrinkle standing out and the deep shadows doing nothing to hide the bags under his eyes. He straightened up to look at his son but couldn't quite manage it fully. For all that he was a legend in stories, here and now he was just a man, just a father, and when he placed a hand on Kylo's shoulder Aliana half-expected him to pull the other man into a hug. Han's eyes stayed off the dark Sith garb and glinting metal of the lightsaber. Instead he looked only at Kylo's face, at those dark eyes that mirrored Leia's.

"Yeah. We've got a Sith on our side now - never thought I'd see the day, but I used to think the Force itself was just an old fairytale. Impossible things keep happening. You know," he chuckled, an old, tired sound, "your mother and I getting together, that was the most impossible thing. She's a better woman than I deserve. And you," he squeezed Kylo's shoulder, smiling tiredly, "you're a better kid than I deserve. But it's not over. You can come home. I can do better. We can be like we used to be, before the Force and Snoke and training drove this wedge inbetween us." He stepped closer, shoulders slumping as he admitted in a voice just above a whisper, "We've missed you so much, Ben, your mother and I. Please come home."

This is why Lily shouldn't make murder her solution to everything. Do I care if the Han of the first excerpt dies? Does he? He's not acting like it, he's not acting like Han, and he's not acting like a dad who's trying to talk his son out of a terrorist organization. He sounds bored in the original, emotionally uninvested, and as a result there's no intensity to a scene where a man is trying to rescue his son from what is functionally a fascist cult-esque terrorist group.

And when Han dies, it takes up three sentences' worth of space. Three. Sentences.

I've written longer joke fanfic snippets in texts to friends. I've seen longer rewrites of that moment on Reddit. It should be a haunting moment for Aliana, witnessing someone murder their parent who loves them dearly, should be a moment where Han gently reaches out and touches Ben's face as in canon and conveys without words that he's not angry, that he'll never hate him, and we should see the confusion in Ben's face afterwards because he can't process his own actions or the unconditional acceptance they were met with.

Lily is not a good enough writer to write fanfic that is not slice of life. She doesn't understand how people work enough to think 'how would a man feel about trying to rescue his son from a terrorist organization? how would the man in the organization feel about the attempted rescue? how would someone feel watching this tragic death in real time?' and that's really damning because I am literally a full decade younger than Lily but I know enough to ask these things. I'm 20 and I understand that 'then A did this. then B died, one sentence of emotions I assure you he was feeling, one sentence of another person's reaction, the end' is shit writing. She writes like a child. I'm in my university's Creative Writing Club and no one there writes on this basic of a level. These are things so basic everyone in my Intro to Fiction Writing class already knew before being told.

A good writer can make the lack of empathy in a murderer engaging (The Secret History by Donna Tartt does this very well with Henry Winters, who is so self-absorbed and devoid of empathy that he navigates the aftermath of the murder uncomfortably well, making his friends deeply uneasy) but Lily doesn't do that. Kylo? "She couldn’t feel unease or conflict from Kylo Ren. But hatred. Deception. Bloodlust." to quote from this grammar-free trainwreck. Thank you for telling the reader that rather than showing us, I guess? Why bother writing those emotions when you could list them - but setting aside that laziness, I'm not made uncomfortable by this murder in the slightest. It's cruel, sure, but we don't have any physical descriptors giving us a mental image of Kylo, so it feels more like stage directions or what'd be in a script rather than a fic. The Secret History opens on Henry Winters casually looking at the body of his best friend who he's murdered and, satisfied that it looks like an accident, turning, putting his hands in his pockets and walking away, humming some old song he'd had stuck in his head. That conveys a lack of empathy, a callousness that's unsettling, and implies a hatred or dislike, drawing the reader in, because we want to know what the hell the deceased did that his death doesn't strike Richard, our POV character, as a thing he can't live with. You instantly want to know more about this very fucked up friend group and how shit escalated to this point.

I don't want to know more about Lily Orchard's rendition of Kylo Ren, because I already know there isn't anything more. There isn't anything more to her Han, her Kylo, her Aliana - they are all exactly one thing and have no hidden depths to them. They're so straightforward that they lack the capacity to surprise or intrigue the audience in any way. Because she refuses to change a single beat from canon and is instead glued to it, there's also no capacity for events to surprise you. This isn't like the game Elsinore where Shakespeare's Hamlet is the basis but the game gives you options to explore what-ifs to the effect of, 'what if these two characters who never spoke in canon interacted?' or 'what if this character who wasn't here was?' or even just 'what if a character refused to get into a fight they got into in canon?' because all of that is too complicated for Lily to puzzle out. "And then me, I mean Aliana, was there in the movie and she got mad when Han died and fought the bad guy" is as complicated as she can get, which is just not interesting. My 6 and 8 year old nieces have played that out with sticks in the woods pretending to be Kylo and their own OC. She is doing less than the bare minimum, she's doing the same thing actual children are... at the age of 30.

Could she be a ghost writer? For kids' books, maybe. Flat characters who have a handful of tropes that they embody with no further depth to them can fly there, if you're writing for the 8 and under crowd. But honestly, I think she should stick to that and never aim any higher. She just doesn't have the capacity to write people, feelings, thoughts, interactions, relationships, original ideas, stakes, or conflicts that most people do.

And honestly even putting her on the level of kids' writers feeling like a disservice to kids' writers. R.L. Stine at least had more diversity in his works, and Animorphs runs circles around LO's work any day of the week. (Bruce Coville's work also has more canonically queer characters and had NB rep in the 90's (while LO can't manage it in 2022) despite being widely-circulated kids' lit.)

I'm so tempted to make posts roasting Lily's shitty writing. But TL;DR this isn't just bad, this is some of the dullest murder in history and I applaud her for making murder boring.

i never believed on the ghost writing gig and i can't imagine LO actually writing anything for children without adding some of her signature creepy elements into it. but regardless i agree with you. one of the worst aspects of LO's literature is how boring it is. things happens, characters are doing things, conflict is happening and yet somehow it all feels so flat and uninteresting, as if nothing is actually happening.

#lily orchard

[erisenyo]

Hi!!! So I promised like forever ago I would come scream at you about All I Need is to be Struck (By your Electric Love) and I NEVER DID!!! I've been going thru it in my classes, I'M SORRY!!!!! But I'm here now and Jesus fucking christ I am rusty at comments again! Here we go, I apologize if this is just a bunch of nothing lol.

The little intro where they're getting dressed to go out is so cute! It feels so domestic to have Zuko pretending to be annoyed while Sokka spends too long picking out an accessory for an outfit that is supposed to keep them out of sight. I love them so much! Even the little moments where Sokka fixes Zuko's collar and then Zuko grabs his hand to hurry him along?💕💕 I'm melting! The comfort they have with touching eachother is so sweet!!! They're so intune with each other's habits and moods! I am so smiley, they love eachother hehe.💞 And now having read this a couple times, Zuko is such a sneak!! Love him planning this day from the very beginning, I think I thought he set up like a sunset picnic the first read thru. This is UM NOT THAT. Love it for them tho. You ever just so wildly in love, you have to spend all day indulging in someone's presence and then ravish them on a roof as soon as you feel a storm coming??? Babe. Your experiences ARE NOT UNIVERSAL!! The little details about how Zuko uses more vernacular from the South when he's been talking to Bato is so fucking cute!! Oh! Love the flirting between the boys!! The ass grab and titty fondling? Lmao am I obsessed with their constant bickering turning into basically causing a scene in public. The date!!!! God one if my favorite tropes is Zuko being taller! Yes be a little shit about it to your boyfriend!!!! Crying about them making notes of which food the other enjoyed the most. I am over here sighing wistfully again, it's about loving someone enough to watch their reactions over everything. 💘Stop it, not Zuko using his badass heat bending to make Sokka more comfortable if he ate something too warm!!!! He's so cool and just uses it to be hot and make Sokka smile! He's a DORK. "Zuko’s thumb is slowly stroking over Sokka’s hand, his firebender heat pressing all along Sokka’s left side, his foot intercepting Sokka’s swinging every so often, a quiet tap just a bit too far to the side to be anything but a deliberate nudge." This??? So cute and so fucking realistic, you're amazing at humanizing your characters I swear. Sokka's brain is so fucking cool btw, like he notices Zuko isn't stopping as often, contemplates the joy in the city vs the very recent anxiety of war that used to be a constant, sees a bobble for water benders, considers what could help the South and what the South could provide in return, figures out that Zuko would want to speak to some firebenders, and plans out how to get him chances to, while still shopping. I'm love. He's brilliant. Oh and the bag modeling???? The playful posing and touching!!! Zuko going along with the game is!!!!! Sjdhhdjdjd my cheeks hurt from smiling!!!!! Everyone knows him as a serious leader, but he's just a sucker for Sokka! I love the way they bring out the best in eachother. 💗Zuko picking out the armbands!!!! Not me spinning around and twirling my hair cause Sokka said "later"!!!!!! The implications of it all. The teasing in public is painfully sweet. And Zuko getting grumpy when Sokka talks about The Boulder wjhsjdjsjsjs I am snort-cackling that is fucking adorable!!!! I live for the different sides of these characters in your writing! I'm so used to imagining Zuko as prickly (which he is) but seeing him become someone who can be playful and unbearably attentive? It's so nice! I won't mention the spicy bits but I really like the way you include tenderness and romance in these scenes!!! They're stupidly in love and you can see it in everything they do and say!!!!! The fact that whenever asked about listening to Sokka or memorizing what he wrote, Zuko replies "always" every time. I am WEAK. They love each other so much!!! This is not my best work, I'll get back into it I swear!!!! I love your writing!! The whole time I had a smile on my face and couldn't stop giggling! Amazing job as always!!!! You deserve the best!!! 💝💌💝

Anon, hello!! Hopefully you made it through the roughness with classes, my fingers are crossed for you, and absolutely no need to apologize ever, you have no idea how much this made my whole week to see when it came through!

I love that you enjoyed the opener and that all the cuteness and domesticity hit right from the start! I'll admit I didn't even truly register that Sokka was spending too long picking out an accessory for their go-unnoticed-outfits, but that is absolutely what he is doing and Zuko is absolutely here for it haha. I'm so happy their comfort with each other came through so clearly, and the ways they're in sync with each other's habits and moods and just that their love was so obvious right from the first scene!

I'm also doing a little happy dance that you've already read it a few times, rereading is truly such an amazing compliment. And Zuko is a sneak! I'm cracking up that you thought it was going to be a cute sunset picnic from the start, that is very much not it even though that is also very nice. But Zuko has plans for this day. He's got goals and an agenda and he might not be entirely sure how it's going to come about but he's going to make sure it happens haha

It's so fun seeing all the little details that stood out to you, from Zuko's vernacular to the flirting moments (both blatant and subtle lol) to Zuko lording his current height over Sokka (I like to believe it's a constant and very smug competition for them) to their bickering basically being some light foreplay. It's the enemies to lovers in them :P

And it's so lovely to see that even in the midst of all their ass-grabbing and arguing-as-flirting that those moments of romance shone through, too! Zuko automatically taking care of Sokka with his heat bending, them paying such close attention to each other because they want to make each other happy, both of them being such dorks and so into it with each other haha. And that the moments are not only cute and sweet but feel so realistic just puts such a smile on my face. It's such an amazing compliment that they feel so human when I write them, truly it means so much to hear, and I'm just beyond happy that you think the way I write Sokka's thought process is so cool!! He's simultaneously about the details and also the free-associating from topic to topic and I love how you frame that chain of thought that gets him from 'Zuko isn't stopping' to executing a plan to give Zuko something he wants.

It makes me so happy too that their flirting and playfulness was so fun to read and had you smiling so much! Zuko absolutely being focused and determined and totally gone on Sokka when they get the chance to just be with each other. I love those moments when there's that window into their relationship vs how they might appear to someone on the outside, and it's so awesome that you can see the way they bring out the best in each other like that!

I love that the armband scene had you spinning around and twirling your hair! I apparently can't resist slipping an engagement tease into fics about the two of them haha. And that the teasing in general was so sweet is such an awesome thing to hear. That all their winding each other up still had such affection and sweetness to it for you is so wonderful, and I've been smiling ever since this ask came through that my writing shows you so many different sides of these characters (especially when it comes through fun little moments like Sokka's crush on the Boulder haha), that is so sweet and I'm genuinely so touched that my fics showcase these different facets of their personalities in a way that feels so authentic to them still.

It's so nice too that their tenderness and romance came through so clearly even during the spicy moments when their surface thoughts are unrepentantly horny, too! That the quest to find a private-enough place to hook up still showcases how stupidly in love they are is all I could hope for with this one :)

Thank you again for these amazing thoughts. I so enjoy reading your reactions and what stood out to you, it really is a bright spot in my whole week and I'm so thrilled you liked this one so much <3 <3

#asks and answers #very very sweet anons #my excessive use of exclamation points in the face of compliments #also my limited vocabulary for describing how happy I am anon this was amazing #fic writing #my writing #All I Need Is To Be Struck (By Your Electric Love)

[north-park]

Always about M&T's commentary in 2002 it'z pretty interesting how certain character writing philosophies are still true to this day, like the commentary could be made today and it wouldn't sound weird at all, hell i wonder if they listened to it in recent years because the Trey's story about the "student of the week" is the exact same of PC Principal and Strong in 21's finale more than a decade later, or Mr Garrison's bigotry being born out the idea that "it's funny that such a messed up individual is also a bigot to add to their insanity" which is something that basically a staple of almost every "really messed up" character today

One that really struck with me was them describing Stan and Wendy's relationship as a realistic relationship between two 3th graders in the sense, and these are Trey's words, they barely hang out with eachother and barely know eachother, kids don't really give a crap about relationship and i see that being reflected into Stan to this day, despite stendy being potrayed as a "serious relationship" most of the times

He doesn't know one thing about her, he isn't into anything she is into and has nothing in common with her to actually bond over, not that he even tries to, nor they are actually seen together more than necessary, Wendy's side is a little more complex but on Stan's side he just thinks they are "boyfriend and girlfriend" because he thinks he likes the coolest, prettiest and most popular girl in school, but we don't see Stan being interested into even one of the things that actually make her cool; like being head cheerleader and captain, her feminist beliefs, or her mental and physical strenght, and her good heart and care and love she has towards him, all qualities he selfishly ignores because he is just a kid and has no real idea of what a real relationship is like, not real love tho he knows that (coughkylecoughhisbelovedguyfriends)

Oh and then Trey concludes with "oh btw I still do that too" like

🤨🏳️‍🌈?

#Really interesting stuff ngl #i thought stan was a shitty boyfriend cuz he is a mysoginist and gay but turns out hes just a kid and gay #well. most of the time #trey parker tho? jury is still out #my post #stuff for me

[tony-quinn]

Eifel Like Shit (idk how to include 65)

Has anyone heard the song "Colors" by Halsey?

I mean probably because it's pretty famous. For anyone who hasn't, humor me while I shift into overly analytical, pretentious douche mode.

IT'S MORPHIN TIME MOTHERFUCKERS!

I was listening to the song recently for the fiftieth time and the chorus struck me in a way it hadn't before. Here it is for those who haven't heard the song, aka dirty plebs.

"Everything is blue His pills, his hands, his jeans And now I'm covered in the colors Pulled apart at the seams And it's blue And it's blue

Everything is grey His hair, his smoke, his dreams And now he's so devoid of color He don't know what it means And he's blue And he's blue."

I've always been a pretty sad guy, ever since I was a kid (not yet a guy.) I'm not sure where it comes from. I've also been an anxious fucker for a long time and I recently found out that the two things correlate so RIP to any sense of peace.

A popular song from my childhood (as well as anyone's who isn't an aforementioned dirty pleb) is "Blue" by Eifel 65.

It annoys me when people say that the group confirmed the song to be nonsensical fuck shit, when songfacts.com quotes them saying otherwise. Here's the quote so nobody can accuse me of pulling it out of the same vault that Half Life 3 is sealed in.

"I started thinking about this character I invented called Zoroti and the lifestyle he led, from the way he would buy his house, pick his girlfriend, his job or the neighborhood he would live in. Then I came up with a color, a color I thought described the way he saw things."

Checkmate bitches. Where's my Nobel Prize?

Listening to "Colors" recently made me think back to this quote and my brain did its typical thing of connecting separate thoughts into a bridge that allows a fully fledged idea to pass over. Nothing is ever simple with me.

Okay if you think the humor in this post is egregious, that's only because I'm writing this in real time and have trouble being completely serious, but I have to do that now so yeah.

I'm blue. Yeah that's a line from the Eifel 65 song, but blue is just who I am. As much as I'm no longer a total believer in anything supernatural or spiritual, maybe this song being a big part of my youth was some form of fate. On the surface it's a silly club anthem, but when you actually look at the lyrics it's kind of deep.

"Colors" gave me this mental image that honestly haunts me, where every woman I've ever tried dating are sitting in a room and talking about me, whether positively or negatively I can't be too sure, but probably the former.

Then the conversation gets serious as one of them (probably the only one I loved) says, "He was pretty sad most of the time.) One by one the other women nod and agree with that sentiment. Sure they thought I was a comedic god, but in some way they all saw the truer version of myself below the surface buried under my goofy jackass attitude; the thoughtful, melancholy loner who never really felt like he could be exposed.

Halsey wrote "Colors" about Matty Healy from The 1975 (they dated.) I don't know too much about his life, but I know he had a drug problem and struggled (or struggles) with depression to some degree. In a way I kind of view myself as a celebrity, in the sense that I'm known for stuff that serves as a smokescreen to the unflattering parts of my life. Gee it's almost like celebrities aren't so different from us. Fucking unfathomable.

This post really had no ultimate purpose. I just wanted to talk about the one thought, but every time I write off the top of my head it shapes itself into something unexpected.

Thanks for reading if you even did. Regardless I feel a bit better.

#halsey #music #depression #venting

[loveislandthegamefan79]

Day 1: "Let The Games Begin" Part 2

The girls are out on the lawn waiting for the boys, Ariella is curious and wants to know the girls type of guys...

Ariella: So ladies,What type of guys are you into?

Dana: Me I like someone who can make me laugh I love me a joker.

Kat: I like them tall with muscles for day abs of steel and tattoos, tattoos isn't a must but it doesn't hurt.

Ariella: Cool, I like the tall dark and handsome I love tats too someone is lad back but also one of that lads,some who makes me laugh and that's a real romantic...

Kat: Oh wow that's really specific,just hope we don't end up clashing over the same guys...

Ariella: Me too,But like I said previously if the man is worth fighting for believe me I won't back down...

As the girls are done comparing notes 2 boys start walking towards them...

Alfie: Hello beautiful ladies I'm Alfie and I've got the bants that just might let me in your pants...

Dana laughs hysterically Kat is awe struck and Ariella she laughs but is also thinking to herself "Sorry buddy you not getting into mine your so not my type"...The other boy introduces his self...

Eddie: Hello all you gorgeous gals,My name is Eddie I don't have bants but I do have sex appeal and charm...

Kat is totally drooling over his abs Ariella is kind of intrigued Dana isn't really impressed...

Ariella: So is just you two?

As on que another boy walks out someone Ari knows all to well...It's he cheating ex who broke her heart into a million pieces a few months before coming to the villa... Ariella is in total shock 😲...

Ariella: Suresh! What the hell are you doing here?

Suresh: Wow not even a Hi or How have you been after all this time?

Alfie: I'm sensing some major drama here ... What did you do geezer?

Suresh: That's between me and Ariella...

Eddie: So you two actually dated?

Suresh: Yeap for over more than a year, But then I messed up and lost her...

Alfie: It must of been something really major huh?

Suresh: You could say that yeah...

Ariella: You being serious right now? It was very serious go on Suresh tell them what you did...

Sureh: What the hell Ari? You just want me to air all our dirty laundry in front of everyone just like that?

Ariella: I don't see why not they will find out eventually,So tell why we are not together anymore tell how you broke my heart 💔...

Suresh: Ok ok...One night after we had a argument I needed some space,So I went to this bar me and some of my work mates would go to,there was this waitress working that night we knew each other well I'd always have a little flirt with her...but on this night I got drunk I was confused my head was gone...One thing lead to another and we slept together...

Alfie: Not cool geezer not cool...

Suresh: Ariella you have to believe me when I tell you I'm really sorry...I screwed up big time I know this...all I'm asking for is a chance...I know it's asking a lot but just think about it Ok?

Ariella: We'll have to see Suresh but no promises...

Eddie: You really think she will take you back after what you done?

Suresh: Ari is full of surprise's I wouldn't rule anything out yet, I'm just saying...

Ariella get a text " Time to make your choice,will you try something new or try something familiar #outwiththeold #inwiththenew

Ariella: Ok boys it's time I make my choice, I've got to know you I already know you (she looks at Suresh)...So if you like what you see please step forward...

They all step forward including her cheating ex...

Alfie: I was always gonna step forward your to Beaumont to.,.

Eddie: I was definitely gonna step forward your ticking quit a few boxes for me and that outfit your wearing is total flames.

Suresh: Of course I'm stepping forward I'd be a fool not to.

Ariella is standing looking at all the boys and thinking witch one do I choose?

Ariella: Ok I've thought about this long and hard,I really like the look of this boy he seems really sweet so I'd like to get to know him more and see where it goes....So the by I'd like to couple up with is..... Eddie

They step towards each other and gives each other a hug...Kat comes forward...

Kat: ok boys it's my time to shine,I hear we have a ex in the villa, very interesting,I do love me a bad boy...But even good boys go bad around me... You've been warned...

Alfie: Loving the confidence...

Kat: I'm always confident there is no other way to be...So boys you know what to do...If you like what you see step you fine selves forward...I mean look at why wouldn't you...

Alfie and Suresh both step forward Eddie stays by Ariella side he's content on who he's with...

Kat: Damn Eddie really! What am I not good looking enough for you?

Eddie: Sorry Kat your not my type and I'm happy with Ari

Kat: WOW! Ok pied on the 1st day...it's cool maybe your not my type either...Anyway the boy I want to couple up with is Suresh....Sorry are he's just a total snack and totally my type...

Ariella: it's all good Kat I'm am totally fine with it ( no she isn't cause deep down it kind of hurts to see the man she was madly in love with not to long ago be with someone else that isn't her)...I wish you both the best...

Kat: Come here handsome (she goes straight for a kiss on the cheek and runs her hands all up and down his chest)...Oh and I don't need wishes,I know we're gonna be the best...

Ariella rolls her eyes thinking yeah whatever...Dana is the next to choose...

Dana: Hey there boys I'm Dana I like the looks of you so if you like the looks of me please step forward....

Alfie is the only one who steps forward....

Dana: Hey I'm not gonna complain I had a dream last night no one stepped forward....But I'm happy with who stepped up I just love me a joker....So Alfie it's me and you Babes...

Alfie: it's all gravy baby...

A text message comes through "The first recoupling isn't FINN-ished yet!" #BombshellComing

Finn: Hello you beautiful people, How's it going?

Kat's jaw drops she's practically drooling, Arielle is totally intrigued Dana isn't really giving much away...Kat steps forward

Kat: Hey Babes totally loving your look and that sexy accent and tats... Your totally my type on paper...

Finn: Oh wow you sure are a lively one aren't ya Kat! So I hear we got a ex in the villa....

Ariella: Yeah it's Kat's partner Suresh...

Finn: OMG Suresh,why would you cheat on such a stunning women?

Suresh: I don't think that's any of your business Finn...

Finn: Relax mate just asking a question... Arielle I have to say you are a real beour...

Ariella: What's a beour?

Finn: It means beauty where I'm from...

Ariella: Why thank you Finn

Finn: Not a problem 😉...

Alfie: So Finn you got eye on anyone special?

Eddie: Yeah wich on of has to be worried?

Finn: That would be telling now wouldn't it...I think I'm going to keep my cards close to my chest for now...

Kat: Well I hope you have your eye on me babe wouldn't mind being wrapped up in your arms and chest 😉😉😉...

Finn: Like I said I'm keep my cards close you all will just have to find out...

Finn gets a text..." Finn,In twenty four hours you'll get to couple up with a girl of your choice. The boy no longer in a couple will be left single and at risk. #StealingHearts #TakeYourPick...

Finn: Oh wow getting thrown into the deep end already....

The boys are nervous and the girls are excited....Who will Finn choose and who will be left single?

@luckyqueenreign @oliverslove @mrsbsmooth @beesandfigsblog

#litg #litg fanfic

[leefics]

2 | madly

part of the truly, madly, deeply series!

excerpt | jimin can’t seem to figure out his feelings, even after you made yours clear.

pairing | jimin x architect!reader, highschoolsunbae!hoseok x highschoolhoobae!reader

genre | slight fluff, angst

warning/s | non-covid AU, drinking

lee's notes | part 2 of this request! sorry this took awhile, school is draining all the life out of me :')

word count | 4.7k words

go to | home / m. list / faq

Jimin's feelings for you, meanwhile, came a little more gradually. But when they finally did, they struck like a wave.

JANUARY 5, 2019.

When he first met you, his day had been nothing but cold.

He had used up his day-off to meet up with his girlfriend, Miyeon, expecting to end the day happy. But unfortunately for him, the universe seemed to have other plans.

"Let's break up." Miyeon blurted out, stopping in her steps.

Jimin chuckled, thinking she was joking, until he glanced to his right and met her serious eyes. His smile faded, quickly replaced by a confused frown.

"What?" Jimin said, hands buried into his pockets. "Miyeon-ah, what are you talking about?"

His girlfriend huffed and gazed straight at him, a frown forming on her face as well. "We barely even talk anymore, Jimin."

Jimin blinked, not knowing what to say. When Miyeon noticed, she let out a soft scoff.

"See? Even you can't deny it." She said, "This isn't a relationship, Jimin. I'm tired of always coming second to your job."

At the mention of his job, Jimin lets out a sigh. "Yeon, you know I can't do anything about that. It's my job." He said, "But, look—we can still make this work, okay? I-I'll try to talk to my manager—"

"It's no use, we both know you've tried to in the past." Miyeon responded, cutting him off. "Look, I'm just tired, okay? I can't do this anymore, Jimin. Not when I can't meet you as much as I want to, or when I can't even tell my friends that you exist." She explained, the tone in her voice growing softer.

Jimin's heart cracked upon hearing her words, taking his one of his hands out of his pockets to grasp hers. "B-But we've been together for almost a year, Yeon. We promised each other we wouldn't give up on this." He mumbled, voice cracking at the end.

But Miyeon, seemingly already decided, simply sighed and took her hand out of his. She held back her tears and put her hands back in her pockets. "Well, m-maybe we weren't meant to be together forever anyways." She responded, lip quivering. "Jimin, I loved you so much but—I think we both know that we aren't really meant for each other."

Jimin bit his lip, glancing downwards as a tear fell out of his eyes. His heart felt heavy, almost too heavy. "Yeon, please—I can't do this, not right now." He said pleadingly, eyes meeting Miyeon's glassy ones.

Miyeon simply sniffled and shook her head, giving Jimin a sad smile. "I'm sorry, Jimin." She said, letting out a shaky sigh.

Before he could say anything, Miyeon quickly walked away, not letting him see the tears in her eyes. Jimin stayed, watching as she walked away.

He stood there for a few moments, the cold air hitting his face. Then, with a heavy heart, he decided to go to the only place he could go back to, home.

As soon as he arrived, he was met with muffled sounds of laughter, something that seemed ironic when compared the current emotions he felt in his heart. He reluctantly walked up to his room and opened the door, only to be met with a sight that surprised him.

A girl was sat on the ground with Hoseok, smiles on both their faces as they caught up and ate together. As Jimin briefly met their gazes, he let out an awkward chuckle and forced out a smile.

"I'm sorry to interrupt, I didn't think you guys would still be here." He said, hoping his roommate wouldn't notice his rather sad mood.

But Hoseok simply shook his head and gave him a reassuring smile. "It's alright, Jimin-ie. We were just talking anyways." He replied, putting his can of beer on the floor.

His gaze travels from Jimin to the girl beside him, causing Jimin's eyes to follow suit.

"Oh, have you met my former school hoobae? You guys are the same age." Jimin inhales softly and forces out a small smile, tilting his head to the side. "Oh hey, I'm Jimin. Hoseok-hyung's bandmate and roommate."

You simply smiled back and waved, "Hi, I'm (Y/N)."

And despite all the sadness and heaviness in his heart, Jimin couldn't help but feel a tad bit brighter as he stood in the room.

JUNE 23, 2019. When Jimin had next met you, he had been spending the day alone.

"Hey, I'm just going to run to the store really quick. Do you need anything?" Hoseok asked, standing up from his bed.

Jimin hummed and shook his head, giving his hyung a small smile. "No, I think I'm alright. Thanks, hyung."

Hoseok nodded, grabbing his bag as he walked to the door. But before he stepped out, he glanced back towards Jimin. "Oh, (Y/N)'s coming over by the way. Just giving you a heads-up in case she arrives before I come back." he said, making Jimin nod his head.

"Okay, I can just step out when she gets here."

Hoseok paused, shaking his head. "No, you should stay and join us! I'm sure (Y/N) won't mind a bit more company." he quickly responded with an encouraging smile.

Jimin pursed his lips, slightly hesitant, "Hyung, if this is about what happened with Miyeon, I'm okay—really." he said, causing Hoseok to sigh.

"I'm not forcing you to date (Y/N)-ie, Jimin. I just want to make sure you have some company. You haven't talked to anyone other than us since it happened." Hoseok replied, giving the younger a small smile.

Jimin hesitantly glanced towards him, biting his lip before he finally sighed and nodded, "Okay, I guess I can stay for awhile."

He watched as Hoseok smiled in triumph, "Great!" he exclaimed, "I'll buy food for three people then."

He waved goodbye the younger member before walking out, causing Jimin to sigh and look down towards his phone. It had been a few months since he and Miyeon broke up and yet, he still couldn't find it in him to move on from everything she said.

He continued to space out, a solemn expression on his face before he's quickly startled by the sudden movement of the door. He glanced towards it, blinking when he saw you walk inside. "Oh, hey." he said, giving you a small wave from his bed.

He suddenly felt a bit awkward, sitting on his bed with his usual home attire while you seemed much more put together, wearing a simple outfit and—

Oh. Your hair was new. Jimin quickly realized, the now shoulder length-cut greatly contrasting the long hair you had when you first met.

He snapped out of his daze when you waved back to him and responded, "Hey. Sorry—I didn't mean to barge in, I just assumed Hobi-oppa would be here."

Jimin let out a soft smile—suddenly recalling the short interaction he had with Hoseok earlier. "It's okay, he told me to expect you anyways. He just ran out for awhile to grab some stuff at the convenience store, but he should be back soon." he explained, shrugging his shoulders.

He gazed at you as you blinked in response, hand tightly holding the strap of your bag before you curtly nod. "Oh—alright then."

Jimin pursed his lips and offered you a smile, about to divert his attention to his phone when he realized you stood still. Unconsciously smiling in amusement, he simply cleared his throat, watching as your eyes met his. "You can sit there while waiting, if you want. I'm sure he wouldn't mind." he said, one hand pointing towards Hoseok's bed.

His eyes remained on yours as you once again blinked before closing the door behind you. When it clicked, you walked towards Hoseok's bed and sat down, silence once again filling the room.

Jimin, recalling Hoseok's encouragement, reluctantly broke the silence and gave you a compliment. "Nice hair, by the way." he blurted out, carefully watching your reaction. "Oh." you simply say, making Jimin inwardly wince.

Was that too blunt? he thinks, looking downwards. He tries to come up with something else to say, but you beat him to it. "Thanks." you replied after clearing your throat, giving him a small smile.

Jimin sighed, giving you a relieved smile in return.

FEBRUARY 9, 2020.

When Jimin first began to appreciate your company, he and Hoseok were in their room.

You had been frequently visiting for a few months now and while he hadn't exactly realized it yet, he was beginning to look forward to your hangouts together.

"Hey, are you up to anything tonight?" Hoseok asked, causing Jimin to hum.

He looks up from his laptop, shrugging at the older member. "Not really, Tae invited me to have dinner with his friends but I'm not really feeling it." he replies, "Why do you ask?"

Hoseok merely shrugs back before typing on his phone, "Just curious."

Jimin raises his eyebrows in curiosity, glancing towards him. "Is (Y/N) coming over?" he asks, a bit more excited than he anticipated.

He watches as Hoseok glances towards him, a slightly confused expression on his face. "No? Jiminie, I was just curious, really." He says, letting out a chuckle.

"Oh," Jimin replies, leaning back towards his headboard. "Well, I just thought that since she hasn't come by in awhile, she would sometime soon." He says, causing Hoseok to snicker.

"Someone's keeping count." He mumbles under his breath, biting back a knowing smile.

Jimin scoots closer to the edge of the bed, not understanding what Hoseok said. "Did you say something, hyung?" He asks, the older member feigning innocence as he shakes his head.

"I'm just happy to know you two seem to be getting along well," He replies, giving the younger a smile. "It's nice to see two of my dongsaengs bond."

He smiles wider when Jimin suddenly glances down and gives him a shrug. "I mean, she's cool I guess."

Hoseok chuckles and shakes his head, throwing a pillow towards his roommate's head. "She's just busy with a project right now. The company got a really good opportunity and they assigned her as a leader." He explains, his expression growing proud.

Jimin perks up at this, a smile also forming on his face. "That's great to hear, I'm glad she's doing good."

Hoseok simply nods, "And uh—don't worry, she asked about you a few times as well." He teases, letting out another chuckle.

The younger simply smiles at this, shaking his head. But as he heard Hoseok's words, he couldn't help but notice the sudden warmth he felt in his chest.

MARCH 2, 2020.

When Jimin began to think of you more, he barely even comprehended it.

He was roaming around a store with Taehyung in tow, humming along to the R&B music playing through the speakers. It was Yoongi's birthday in a couple of days and he had taken the day off to look for a gift.

But as his eyes scanned the shelf in front of him, he couldn't help but think of you as they land on a certain object. It was a mechanical pencil, which funny enough, he immediately associated with you because of a memory.

"I still don't get it, it's just a pencil." Jimin said, staring at the image on your phone screen.

He laughs as soon as you let out a scoff, amused at how worked-up you were getting. "It's not just a pencil, it's the key to productivity! The way the lead just glides onto the paper and—"

Jimin quickly cuts you off, nodding his head. "Okay, okay, I think I get it. No need to go all architect on me." He jokes, causing you both to break out into laughter.

He chuckled as he remembered, toying with the mechanical pencil in his hand. Should I buy it for her? He wondered, biting his lip. A warm fuzzy feeling quickly filled his chest at the thought, making him smile unconsciously.

"Jimin, you good?" Taehyung suddenly asked, causing Jimin to snap out of his daze.

"Huh?" Jimin responded, slightly confused.

The other member laughed and shook his head, pointing to the pencil in his hand. "You've been smiling at that pencil for the last 10 seconds, I was just wondering if you were getting it for hyung."

Jimin blinked and looked towards his hand, staring at the object. Then, he cleared his throat and looked back towards Taehyung before nodding his head.

"Yeah, I think I'll just buy him this." He replied, causing the latter to nod his head.

The two of them walked up to the counter to pay for their items, Taehyung playfully nudging Jimin as the cashier scanned their cards.

"You know, you've been spacing out a lot recently." He said, "Is there something on your mind?"

Jimin quickly tilted his head, "Really?"

Taehyung thanked the cashier and accepted his card before turning towards his friend. "Yeah, it's something a few of us noticed." He said, letting out a chuckle.

Jimin simply shrugged, accepting his item from the cashier.

"Huh." He mumbled, looking downwards.

DECEMBER 9, 2020.

When Jimin suddenly found out about your feelings, he was very confused.

Throughout the day, he remained upset over the news of their tour for reasons even he couldn't understand. Usually, such news would excite him as it meant he'd be able to interact with ARMYs all around the world. But for some reason, the news just made his stomach churn in a way it never had before.

He thought back to everything that had changed over the past year, and realized one of the only new things that had come into his life were you. But, before he could think any more of it, he simply brushed it off as a coincidence.

However, as he spoke to you and vented out his concerns near the Han River, some of his feelings suddenly became a bit clearer. He watched with a smile as you gave him advice, gently interlocking your fingers together.

He was enjoying the moment you two were having and he liked the way he felt, even though he didn't know what exactly it was. All he knew was that there was a warmth in his chest whenever he was with you, and that it would slightly heighten when you two would touch.

Which was exactly why he couldn't help but frown when you suddenly pulled away from him.

"Everything okay?" He asked, looking at you worriedly.

He watched as you simply let out a smile and nodded before you reached backward to unravel your scarf. When he noticed you seemed to be having a difficult time, he moved towards you and unclasped the necklace around your neck.

He smiled as the two objects finally separated, quickly withdrawing his arms to give you space. He glanced towards the necklace in his hand, doing his best to untangle it while you took the scarf off of your neck.

He gazed at the small pendant of the necklace, noticing it as the one accessory you always wear whenever you come to the dorm. The crystal pendant was so small, and yet it always stood out regardless of what you'd wear.

There you go again. He quickly thought, remembering what Taehyung said and snapping out of his daze before he thought of anything else.

Jimin looked towards you, bringing his hand up to give you back the necklace when he noticed that you seemed to be deep in thought as well. He smiled and waved his hand in front of your face.

"(Y/N), you good?" He asked, chuckling when you finally look at him. "Is there something on my face?"

His smile falters when he sees the hesitant expression on your face, worried he might have said something wrong. "Are you—"

"I like you."

As the words come out of your mouth, Jimin can't bring it upon himself to hide the shock on his face. He didn't expect it at all, hell, he had no idea you even thought about him that way.

He thought back to all the times you two hung out, wondering if he ever missed any signs. Yet he couldn't think back to a specific memory, especially not with the sudden surge of emotions he felt.

"I-I'm sorry." You said as you shot up from your seat. "You don't need to say anything. I'm sorry—it just came out of nowhere."

Jimin continues staring at you, mouth agape. "(Y/N)," He finally said as he stood up, before immediately pausing.

He wanted to respond to what you said, he really did. But, what was he supposed to say if he wasn't even sure if he felt the same way? So he simply watched as you looked at him expectantly and quickly noticed the crestfallen look on your face when nothing comes out of his mouth.

"I should go." You said, swiftly grabbing your things from the bench. “Thank you for tonight, I uh—I had a great time.”

Jimin tried to stop you, but his body remained frozen.

“—and I’m sorry if I ruined it.” He hears you say, before you instantly walk away from him.

His heart cracks upon hearing the tone of your voice, tightly clasping the necklace in his palm. He felt like screaming and crying at the same time, unable to convey the feelings he felt inside. He'd never felt anything like it before, and maybe that's what scared him the most.

While he remains deep in thought, a voice suddenly brings him out of his daze, a voice he knew all too well.

"Jimin?"

He turned around and his arms both immediately dropped, shocked at the sight in front of him.

"Miyeon, is that you?"

DECEMBER 28, 2020.

When Jimin last saw you, he was conflicted.

It had been a few weeks since your last encounter, and he couldn't help but miss your presence. Sure, he was partly to blame, but he honestly just missed having a friend to talk to, or just someone to go to.

He had spent most of his days practicing with the members, burying himself in work so that he wouldn't need to think about you. As he did, he also used some of his time to catch up with Miyeon, even though he knew deep down that it wasn't right.

He just always yearned for familiarity, something to hold onto in the middle of all the tours and changing timezones. But everything with you was so new, and it scared him. So, choosing to spend his time with Miyeon was just easier—as selfish as that was.

Meanwhile, Hoseok wasn't all that happy with his decision. Sure, part of it was just him being a protective friend over you, but he also felt like what Jimin was doing was wrong—especially when he never gave you a definite answer.

Due to his disappointment, he stopped bringing you up in front of Jimin. Something that he later on realized, was also most likely a mistake as well.

Because if he had told him you were coming to visit today, maybe Jimin wouldn't have done what he did—and things wouldn't have changed as much.

"Are you sure this is okay?" Miyeon asked, sitting next to Jimin on the bed.

The latter nodded, giving his ex a small smile. "We got a lot more freedom about who we could invite to the dorm recently." He said, "It's not the first time someone's come to visit us, so don't worry."

Miyeon simply nodded her head, glancing towards him. "So, what do you want to do?" She asked, tilting her head at Jimin.

The two began to chat with one another, catching up with one another as they always did. Then, maybe it was their rather close proximity, or the fact that they were on Jimin's bed.

But slowly, Miyeon's eyes slowly gravitated towards Jimin's lips, the latter doing the same. Before they knew it, they both moved closer, and closer, until their lips meet.

The next few minutes feel like a blur to Jimin, from the moment he felt Miyeon's hands in his hair to the moment she began to crawl onto his lap. He wanted to feel euphoric as it happened, but he couldn't help but feel heavy inside.

As though, he was doing something very, very wrong.

Then, before he knew it, the door quickly opened, causing them both to pull away from one another. Jimin quickly glanced towards the door, ready to explain the situation to whoever member was at the door.

But then he sees you.

And once again, the words are just stuck in his throat. But luckily for him, he seems to have a bit more control over his limbs this time around.

He gently pushed Miyeon onto the bed and stood up, reaching towards you. “(Y/N), it’s not what it looks like—” He says, before pausing as the door gets slammed in his face.

He quickly buttons his shirt, looking at Miyeon guiltily. "Oh my god, Miyeon, I'm so sorry." He says, ruffling his hair. "Just give me a minute to fix this."

He quickly opens the door and rushes out, the thoughts running through his head at the same time. He didn't even know what exactly he was going to say. All he knew, in that moment, was that he didn't want you to walk away from him again.

But, as he met your eyes in the living room and saw the tears in your eyes that he had caused, his heart began to ache in guilt. His thoughts begin to eat at him once again.

Even if you did decide to hear him out, did he even deserve it?

So consumed by his own thoughts, he decided to cave into the fear and hold back, in spite of the fact that his heart wanted him to do otherwise.

"I'm sorry." He simply said, defeated.

He sees the sad look on your face contort into one of disappointment, bracing himself for what you had to say.

"I'm sorry too."

As soon as the words come out of your mouth and you leave, Jimin feels his heart crack into 2, the pain being too much for him. Everything felt so wrong, no matter how much he told him himself that what he did was right.

JANUARY 2, 2021.

When Jimin began to come to terms with his feelings, things also started to fall back into place.

It had barely been a week since he last saw you, yet he couldn't wipe your face away from his memory. He had thought long and hard about everything, which is what led to the decision he was making right now.

"I think we should end this," Jimin said, staring straight at Miyeon as they sat across one another. "Whatever this is."

To his surprise, Miyeon didn't seem fazed by what he said. She simply let out a chuckle, nodding her head before she took a sip of her coffee.

"It's that girl, isn't it?" She asked, causing Jimin to stiffen. Upon seeing his reaction, Miyeon let out a sad smile. "It's okay, Jimin. I kind of noticed it too."

He looked at her confusedly, unable to understand what she meant. "Notice what?"

She looked and him and shrugged her shoulders, "That day I came to you at the dorms, I saw the look on your face." She said, "I mean, it's one thing to be mortified when someone walks in but—you almost looked guilty."

Jimin sighed at this, "I'm sorry, Miyeon. I swear, this wasn't how I expected things to go." He explained, "If I had known, I wouldn't have tried to start anything between us in the first place."

Miyeon simply sighed before responding, "Jimin, it's fine, I promise."

But he frowned and shook his head, the guilt of the entire situation eating him up once again. "No, it's not, Miyeon, I led you on. Hell, like you said, you saw me run after a girl right after we kissed."

"Look, Jimin," Miyeon mumbled, leaning back in her chair. "You made a really big mistake and I think we both know that. But—I didn't exactly go to you with any intentions either."

At this, Jimin glanced at her, confused. "What do you mean?"

"I saw you that day at the Han River and I honestly just wanted to catch up. But, when I noticed you didn't seem to be dating anyone either, I thought it would that, well—it wouldn't hurt to rekindle a past relationship."

She sighed and toyed with her glass before continuing, "I never expected anything from you, Jimin. In fact, it makes me happy to know you seemed to have moved on."

Jimin's gaze travelled down to his glass, swirling the coffee around. "I don't even know anymore, to be honest. Everything about her just feels so—new." He mumbles, the tone of his voice expressing his slight nervousness.

Miyeon nods understandingly, "Well, is that really so bad?" She says, watching his expression turn into slight confusion. "I mean, I get why you'd be scared but, for all you know, maybe it's a good sign."

"Maybe," He mumbles, still hesitant.

His ex sighs, putting her glass on the table. "Okay then, answer this. Those feelings you feel—those new ones? What kind of feelings are they?" She asks, looking at Jimin expectantly.

The man huffs, "They're fuzzy and warm," He replies, "Like, whenever we're together, I always get this warm feeling in my chest, and it only dissipates once she's gone or sad."

"Well, is it a bad kind of warmth? Like from discomfort?" Miyeon asks, causing Jimin to shake his head.

"No," He says, "Not at all. It's more—comforting, actually. Kind of like a hug after a long day."

Upon hearing his answer, Miyeon sighs, a sentimental smile on her face.

"Well, I think you have your answer then."

FEBRUARY 4, 2021.

When Jimin finally understood, he didn't realize it was too late.

After parting ways with Miyeon, he gave himself a chance to truly ponder over what he felt for you, as well as process everything that ensued.

He would be lying if he said he was completely certain about everything, but all he knew for sure was that he did indeed feel something and that he missed you.

So now, after what felt like forever, he finally mustered up enough courage to show up at your door and talk to you about it. He bought your favorite coffee as a peace offering, hoping you'd appreciate the fact that he still remembered your coffee order word per word.

"I brought you coffee, and uh—I was thinking we could go watch a movie afterwards." He practiced, staring straight at the door in front of him.

He took a deep breath before ringing the doorbell, patiently awaiting your answer. But to his disappointment, no one seemed to be answering the door. The coffee in is hands grew cold, and he began to lose hope.

After a few more minutes, Jimin walked back to his car in defeat. He grabbed his phone from his pocket and opened a conversation he had with Hoseok.

jimin: hey, hyung. is (y/n) with you? i'm in front of her door but she doesn't seem to be opening it.

He stared at the phone, frowning once again when Hoseok also fails to respond to his message. In a last leap of faith, he walked back to the door and rang the doorbell one last time before he finally gave up and decided to leave.

A few hours later, he found himself inside a theater, sighing at the empty seat next to him. The fact that he hadn't heard from you and Hoseok made his chest constrict in a way he hated as the guilt from what had happened began to eat at him once again.

But as he watched the movie, he suddenly felt his phone buzz on his lap, causing his hopes to go up a bit. He unlocks his phone and sees a message from Hoseok, and his heart quickly drops at the message.

hoseok: she left on a business trip to europe. she isn't coming back for another few months.

Upon seeing the message, the heaviness in Jimin's heart suddenly increased. He dropped his phone onto his lap and looked straight at the screen in front of him. Not long after, he glanced towards the seat next to him, the words of Hoseok finally sinking in.

Then, all at once, the heaviness disappeared—and in its place was nothing but emptiness.

#jimin #bts #bts scenarios #bts x reader #bts ff #bangtan #bangtan imagine #bts imagines #bts x female reader #jimin x reader #bts jimin #park jimin #park jimin imagines #jimin imagine #jimin angst #bts angst #bts fluff #jimin fluff

[dokoni-mo]

She Truly Was || Muzan Kibustsuji x F!Reader

Summary: Enmu helps Muzan remember you.

SFW // Fluff with small amounts of Angst

Word Count: 4626

WARNINGS: *slight Mugen Train spoilers*, slight mentions of implied sexual activity, obsessive(?) behavior, Muzan is soft for one person only, some angst, mentions of injury, mentions of blood, I also barely proofread this lol

A/N: I've had this in my head for a while and decided to write it down. This is largely just a compilation of scenarios I made in my head to fall asleep at night when I was stressing over exams and stuff, all loosely thrown together with a plot. This is my first time writing for demon slayer, so please be patient! I also am basing a lot of my info about the characters on s1 of the anime, some of the manga, and the wiki. I apologize if something isn't accurate. tldr; I just think he's neat.

~~

Despite having lived through thousands of years with hundreds of stormy nights in the midst, Muzan Kibutsuji never learned to appreciate them.

Something about nights like those in Japan just never sat right with the demon. It wasn't that they were too dreary, not at all. Life as a demon was plenty dreary. On the other hand, it wasn't that they were to lively either. No one ever went out on stormy nights; demon or not. Perhaps it was just because the rain was another reminder of the singularity that was being a demon. The poignant pitter patter just seemed to have a way of whispering to whoever heard it, telling them the most unpleasant yet quiet truths of their lives.

After Muzan's bloody meeting with the lower moons, he had told Enmu his task Muzan had planned for the pitiful, weaker demon. Although he had doubts that Enmu could hear him over the sound of the weaker demon's screams of pain from the blood he gave, Muzan was pleasantly surprised when Enmu understood the orders the first time around. Seeing as though it would cause trouble if the lower moon started to go around bragging about his newfound power and job, Muzan decided it would be best to keep a crimson eye on the demon.

This is what led to the scene before Muzan now.

Muzan had taken Enmu back to one of his many properties scattered across Japan, this one being tucked away in a lush, quiet forest in the middle of seemingly nowhere. The lower moon had not said a word throughout the entire journey there, and still refused to say anything now. Most likely out of fear.

Although it had been a long day of wrangling the lesser worms he called pawns (or "moons" if he was generous), Muzan did not want to show any weakness towards Enmu by resting. To busy himself, Muzan decided to do the tedious work the humans have him do in the job he took to please his human wife.

That insufferable woman.

With his bowler hat placed on his desk, Muzan had taken a seat in his large, leather chair, ordering Enmu to stand at the edge of the desk and face the opposite way. And, for extra edge, he was not to say or do anything.

It had been about two hours since then. The room was filled with only the sounds of Muzan's writing and the ticking of the grandfather clock in the corner.

Although he ordered it to be that way, Muzan was already sick of it.

Peering his red eyes up from the papers scrawled below him, Muzan fixated his bone-chilling gaze upon the back of Enmu's head. Muzan could see the corners of the lower moon's mouth turned upwards as he faced the wall, presenting himself with an expression of dumb content.

Freak.

Enmu was definately a curious specimen. So eager to die, yet so eager to please Muzan. The demon lord would have been confused if he were not who he was.

Perhaps it was his own boredom setting in, perhaps it was because he wanted to feed his already gargantuan ego, or perhaps it was just because he was tired, Muzan decided to speak up.

"Tell me," Muzan said, his deep, smooth voice making Enmu perk up slightly, "Why is it that are you so loyal to me?"

Enmu took this as an opportunity to finally move, but not without some caution. The lower demon only turned his neck towards Muzan, along with a tilt of his shoulder. Muzan noted the disobedience of orders, but decided to let it slide this time.

The rain must have told him to be generous that night.

"Why, Master Kibustsuji," Enmu said, a faint blush adorning his cheeks, "It is because I am so delighted to be in your presence, and have my power be of service to you."

The demon lord felt his jaw clench at this, his red eyes peering up at the lower moon from under his abyssal lashes. Although Enmu had an... odd, way of putting things, Muzan always did like it when someone stroked his ego, even if all they ever said was the same banter over and over again. He was nearly perfection, afterall.

Muzan sat quietly and pondered Enmu's response for a second, before formulating his own.

"Your power, as you put it," Muzan said, his voice firm, "What is it?"

Enmu's grin widened, "Dream Manipulation, Master. I can enter, manipulate, or control anyone's dreams however I want to. I can use it to kill from the inside, eating a person spirit first and body second. I can also put people to sleep."

Muzan wasn't necessarily impressed by this, but he wasn't disappointed either. An ordinary power, really. Nothing that could ever rival his own.

However...

Muzan's gaze flickered down to the surface of his desk. A flicker of a long lost yet not forgotten feeling bubbled deep inside of his being. A mere spark of light, really, a piece of warmth he felt from long ago, lost to the wayside by the vestiges of time.

It was something Muzan thought he would never experience again.

Dream manipulation, huh?

It might be worth a try.

Muzan looked back up to Enmu, sharpening his gaze, "Tell me, are you able to give... pleasant dreams?"

Enmu was surprised to hear this come from Muzan to say the absolute least. He took this as another opportunity to disobey orders and turn to Muzan again, this time fully and whole-heartedly. The lower moon looked right into those blood red eyes, looking for any sign of a rare flicker of humor or joking.

Muzan's gaze was serious, poised as ever.

Muzan was being for real.

Taking a pause to swallow, Enmu allowed his soft smirk to return to his gray, pale face.

"Why," the lower moon retorted, "I can, Master, yes."

Muzan eyed the lesser demon for a good second at his response.

This move was risky. It could damage his image. Yet, if he was to do this with any of his pawns, he would do it with Enmu. Enmu seemed to have no intent on harming Muzan or his image in any way; he was far too loyal for that.

Besides, if someone were to question the might of Muzan, he could just prove them wrong.

Muzan leaned back in his chair, crossing one leg over the other and lacing his fingers together, wrapping them around his knee. His icy gaze still on Enmu, he spoke again.

"I wish to see a pleasant dream."

Muzan nearly rolled his eyes when he saw just how wide Enmu's grin had gotten and just how flushed his face got.

It was repulsive.

But, if it meant what Muzan thought it would mean...

It was worth stomaching.

After a breif moment used to compose himself, Enmu's smile faded to normal again. He pulled up the sleeves to his coat.

"I will give you a dream where you will experience the happiest days of your life over again, Master Kibutsuji," the lower moon stated, "Is this to your liking or would you prefer something else?"

"No," Muzan stated flatly, "That is fine."

Perfect, even.

Enmu smiled widely one last time, holding out his arm and pointing it at the demon lord.

"Sweet dreams, my lord." Was the last thing Muzan heard before falling into a deep, deep sleep.

~~

"Muzan..."

Despite his blood demon art being so much weaker than his, Muzan wasn't quite ready for just how Enmu put him into a dream like that. Muzan's headache had grown ten-fold now, and he could feel that his face was scrunched.

"Muzan..."

Slowly but surely regaining his full consciousness, Muzan could first feel that he was in different clothes than what he had been wearing before. These ones were lighter, softer, and much more airy than his normal suit. Squinting open his crimson eyes, he saw that he was in what appeared to be a long, dark, flowing kimono.

The second thing Muzan could feel was that it was rather cool where he was, and that he appeared to be lying on the ground. Sifting his weight slowly, he could then feel that his head was lain upon what felt like two soft, plush pillows firmly squished together.

The third thing, however, took him a little longer to discern quite that it was. At first, he thought it was a pair of chopsticks running across his scalp over and over again. Upon, further thought, however, Muzan was further snapped back into awareness.

Those were not chopsticks.

Those were fingers.

All too familiar fingers.

"Muzan..!"

Muzan felt a stir deep down inside of him. He recognized this feeling, this touch, this warmth. It had been so, so long since he had felt like this. How long was it again? It had to be an eternity ago. An eternity wrapped within all time time in the world.

Muzan was speechless. Muzan couldn't move. Muzan was struck from deep within, and nothing in the world could ever compare to its blow.

"Muzan!"

Although the calling of the demon's lord name had been going on for some time now, he was just now able to respond.

Tilting his chin upwards towards the voice's source, Muzan nearly fell to bits right then and there. If he was someone else, he would have wept deep, earnest tears at the very sight of the being above him. For everything and nothing surrounded him as he studied the bright, radiant face above him, and nothing else seemed to exist other than that smile.

Other than her.

Her.

Oh, her, her, her.

His beloved. His sun, moon and stars. The ground beneath his feet and the air around him. His joy and love, his woes and sorrow. His fears and excitement. His warmth and his cold.

You.

You were really here.

"I was wondering if you were ever gonna wake up," you said, a faint laugh behind your voice, "You were out for so long!"

This scene was all too familiar to Muzan. He had replayed it in his head countless times, as if it were the only record left in the world.

He knew what this day was, and he knew all of your lines.

How could he ever forget?

Every moment he had ever spent with you had been a blessing.

Right now, his head was cradled in your lap, your soft, delicate fingers combing through his hair oh so gently as he had slept. It was deep into the night, and ordinarily Muzan would not be sleeping at this time. However, your touch was just so relaxing to him.

Everything about you was.

Today, you and him had spent the night wandering through the garden of your home together, chatting about anything and everything. It was only about two months into your relationship with Muzan. Muzan had first come to your home with the intention of eating everyone within the residence, but once he saw your face, watched you, saw your heart, your spirit, your you, he just couldn't.

He just...

couldn't.

You were human, yes.

But Muzan didn't care.

He was in love with you.

Muzan had yet to tell you the truth about him, however.

But that could come later.

"Muzan, are you alright?" He heard your voice echo again, snapping him out of his trance. He saw your face painted with worry, making his own features soften.

His darling angel. If only you knew just how much it pained him to see you with anything other than a smile.

Muzan reached his hand upwards, steadily maneuvering his fingers to brush your hair behind your ear and cup your warm cheek. He was shocked at how real you felt, shocked at just how similar it felt to all those years ago.

Perhaps Muzan had to give Enmu a reward.

The demon lord caressed your cheek gingerly with his cold, calloused thumb, savoring in just how warm your flesh was compared to his. For the first time in what felt like eons, Muzan felt a smile adorn his handsome features. Not one put on just to appease the humans around him, but genuine. The type of smile only you got to see.

Only you.

"I'm more than alright, my darling." He responded, his voice soft and warm, without the normal venom he gives to his subordinates. A voice reserved restrictively for you.

Finally, you let a soft grin come over your heavenly face again, making all seven of Muzan's hearts swell.

"I'm sorry if I woke you up," you said, "But it's about to be dawn soon. I don't want you to get a burn, so let's go in the house again, okay?"

Ah yes, the lie Muzan told you. He, of course, couldn't be with you in the sunlight (as much as he wanted to). So he had told you that he had a rare disorder that made him extra prone to sunburns and heatstroke.

Just something to keep you safe from the truth.

His soft smile still adorning his features, Muzan gave you a nod as he slid his head off of your lap. Since you were on your knees, you were quicker to stand than him. Brushing off your kimono quickly, you offered one of your hands to Muzan to help him stand, of which he gladly took. He had long since forgotted just how perfectly your hand fit into his, along with how radiant your kimono made you look.

Once he was back on his feet, Muzan couldn't help but to hold your arms, holding you a few feet away from him to simply admire you for a moment, his crimson eyes doing laps around your face and body.

You were perfect to him.

Every single thing about you was without flaw in his eyes. Not one curve of your body was too shallow or too wide. Not one strand of your hair was misplaced or without poise. Not one feature on your face took away from your radiant beauty. And you had not one bad bone inside of your body.

Muzan was never one to believe in angels.

However, if anyone in any part of the world were to tell him that you were one of them, straight from the heavens themselves,

He would believe them.

~~

As soon as Muzan stepped through the door, his hand in your own, the scene before him changed in one giant, peaceful flash of white light.

Before him now was no longer the house that he had shared with you all those years ago. Now, in its place, was a beautiful, lush springtime garden, all dredged under the cover of the night. It was not devoid of light, however. There were a few lanterns afloat in the water of the stream, as well as some within the structure of the small bridge that went over top of it. Flowers adorned every nook and cranny of the space, and the occasional insect or bird would make a brief appearance.

A small slice of paradise, just for you and Muzan Kibutsuji.

Fearing that you were no longer by his side, Muzan turned his head. His fears were quickly subsided when he saw you there next to him. Your delicate hands were placed on the railing of the bridge, and your eyes were fixated on the calm water below, almost as if it were a window into the heavens above. There was a small smile plastered on your face, and the delicate lights illuminated each of your features so perfectly.

Muzan knew this night.

This was the night he told you the truth.

The truth about him, about his "condition", about where he went for days on end, about why he couldn't walk with you in the sun, about everything.

This was the one night Muzan had ever felt fear.

"Is it really true, Muzan?" You asked, your gaze still fixated on the water below, "Are you really a demon?"

Muzan felt his lips part in small surprise. Even though he had replayed this night time and time again in his mind, it felt as if this were all happening for the first time over again.

Enmu really was good at this.

Muzan wet his lips before responding, setting his gaze on your precious, beautiful face and refusing to move it, "Yes, my love. It is true. I would not lie to you about this, I..."

A pause to collect this thoughts, before he could continue, "I kept it from you to protect you, (Y/N). I did not want any harm to come to you. My darling, I... I love you. My love for you knows no bounds. You are the stars that shine at night, and you are the shining moon above. Each time I look upon you, all I can stand to think of is how deep my love for you runs. I... I need you, (Y/N). I do not wish for you to be frightened of me, my angel. I would never, not ever harm you, nor let any harm come to you."

You still weren't looking at Muzan, yet your smile had yet to falter. Muzan felt a bubble of nervousness in his gut. Although he knew your response to his words already, even thinking of this moment never failed to make his stomach churn. He hoped his words to you were enough. He doubted that he had ever said anything more truthful in his entire life.

After a long pause of silence between the two of you, you closed your eyes and widened your smile. Then, you opened your eyes again, finally turning to face your lover. You looked Muzan right in the eyes, seemingly unfazed that you were standing so dangerously close to the most powerful being alive.

You were so brave.

Your heart was so big.

Muzan felt so overwhelmed.

"Muzan," you said, your cheeks dusting a light pink.

What you said next to him, Muzan could never get out of his head, never forget. No matter how much he tried, he would never not ever forget your words in that moment.

Within that one short, simple phrase, the king of demons fell in love all over again.

"I've always known."

~~

Another flash within his crimson eyes, and the scene had changed again. Nighttime again, of course, but this time within the confines of the bedroom you and Muzan shared. Both you and Muzan were nude, sans the blanket that covered the lower half of your forms. Muzan was on his back, one strong arm wrapped around you, the other cradling the back of his head. Your legs were intertwined with his, and your hair and hands were sprawled out on top of his lean, muscular chest.

Muzan knew this night as well.

It was his most loved night with you, but also his most dreaded.

How cruel fate was.

Stroking your back with the tips of his fingers, Muzan stared up at the ceiling above the two of you. Your body was flush against his, and as warm as ever. He wondered to himself if he was making you cold. If he was, you didn't seem to mind.

After a long period of savoring the silence between you and him, you softly snorted out a cute, soft giggle. This made Muzan angle his chin downward to look at the top of your head.

"What is it?" He questioned.

You giggled again, tilting your head up to look at him. Smiling, you turned your body to lay on top of the demon king, your breasts smushing against his own. Instinctively, Muzan laid his hands on your hips, rubbing small circles into them as he held you in place.

"I just find it funny that even though you profess to have so much stamina, you get tired after only two rounds." You explained to him, a playful mischievousness in your tone and eyes.

Muzan breathed out a smile, reaching up a clawed hand to brush your hair out of your face.

"As I recall it, you were the one complaining it was too much." He quipped back.

You snorted, "As if that ever stopped you before."

The demon let out a soft chuckle, leaning forward to give you a kiss on the forehead. Muzan couldn't remember ever laughing so genuinely before you came along. You truly were the light of his life. You filled his days with the sunlight he had long since forgotten, as well with the warmth no other demon could ever have.

He loved you.

He loved you he loved you he loved you.

And he still did.

He watched as you dropped your gaze to his chest, running your fingers along the flesh.

"Muzan..." you said, your voice more serious than before, "I've been thinking a lot lately..."

The demon king hummed, brushing more hair from your face.

"What has been on your mind, my love?" He asked.

You paused for a second before continuing on. Muzan could practically see the gears turning in your head.

"Well, I... I'm not getting any younger, you know, and I've been thinking. I... I really love you, Muzan. You're the only person I can imagine myself being with for the rest of my life. The other day, I was in town, and I saw the cutest family ever with a husband and a wife and two adorable little children, and it made me think..."

You looked up at him again, giving him a soft smile.

"What if we were to have a family of our own?"

Muzan could feel the same sense of joy, love, and pride in his chest as he did this same moment all those years ago. In this moment, he had never felt closer to you before, nor could you recall ever looking more beautiful.

He wanted nothing more than to be a family with you for the rest of eternity.

"Darling, you know what that would mean, correct?" He questioned you. He had told you long before that demons could only have offspring with other demons, for a demon baby would eat its human mother from the inside and kill her. It was gruesome, and had originally made you cringe at the thought. Muzan had thought your reaction was quite cute.

"Yes, yes, I know," you answered, "and I'd be ready for it. Even if I'm a demon, and even if I can never go out in the sun again or live normally ever again, I'd be happy knowing I got to be with you and our baby for the rest of time."

Muzan gave you a smile in return, his long, white fangs flashing in the light of the night. Leaning forward, he kissed you upon your soft, warms lips, gently pulling you closer to him.

This was one of the thousands of reasons why he loved you.

You were always so sweet, so kind and optimistic. He would admit, he did have a soft spot for you and you alone. But he didn't care. You were worth it. You were worth every single piece of money on planet earth. You were worth the sun the moon and the stars, and all the planets here and beyond. You were worth any injury, any heartache, and any trial or tribulation in the world.

The king of the demons unquestionably, unfathomably, undeniably, adored you.

Pulling gently away from the kiss, Muzan looked deep into your eyes, right past your pupils and looked right into your soul, your very being.

"I would want nothing more, my sunlight."

If Muzan could turn back the hands of time, he would have kept you here with him for the rest of everything and beyond.

For he did not know then that was the last kiss you and him would share.

~~

Another flash, and Muzan was no longer greeted with a visage of the past. Much to his dismay, the demon was now greeted with the sight of his office, with a smiling Enmu creepily watching him from across his desk.

What a fucking freakshow.

Taking in a breath of air through his nose, Muzan sat up tall in his chair again, rubbing the bridge of his nose with this thumb and pointer finger.

You were gone again. You were again nothing up a memory, a whisper of a time from the past.

Muzan could hardly bare it.

He had felt you, held you near him.

And just as fast as you came back, you were gone again.

This was a pain almost too hard to bear.

How long was he asleep for? Muzan really didn't care how long it was.

No amount of time with you was enough.

"Did you have the pleasant dream you wished for, Master?" Enmu asked the demon king. The lesser moon was lucky Muzan was in a somewhat good mood that day.

"Yes." Muzan replied simply, closing his eyes to rub them with his thumb, "Excellent work."

Enmu's smile widened at this, his cheeks turning pink again.

"Why, thank you, Master." He responded, his excitement prevalent in his voice.

Enmu really was a special one.

After composing himself again, Muzan scooted his chair forward up to his desk, fixing his gaze back onto his work sprawled out below.

Muzan just wanted to be alone again after that. He had been alone for years now, but he wanted Enmu out of the room. Although he could have easily ordered it to be so, he again did not want to show any weakness to the lower moon.

Christ on a bike. Muzan was so fucking stubborn.

He remembered all the times you nagged him for it.

Oh, what he would give to have you nag him one last time.

After a long bout of silence, the lesser demon decided to speak up again. He turned his head over his shoulder again to Muzan, trying to sound as naieve and innocent as possible.

"Master," Enmu said, "Where is she now?"

Muzan stopped his movements and glared up at Enmu with a venomous glare. How dare he even refer to you. You were so far above him, how dare Enmu even think to invoke your name.

Though Muzan wanted to kill the other demon right on the spot, he decided against it. He still wanted to see how Enmu would do on his mission. Also, Muzan had to admit that he did feel lighter and more generous after his dream with you. And he supposed it was fair that Enmu had his questions.

Feeling nice, Muzan decided to entertain Enmu's question.

Shifting his gaze back to the papers below, Muzan replied.

"Gone." he said, "The night she asked about a family was the last night I saw her alive. The next day, a group of slayers found her and our house. They knew who she was and that she was human, but killed her anyway. All in attempt to get to me. I found her in a pool of her own blood, limp and cold. The slayers died that same night."

Enmu's smile faded at this, his face taking on a look of shock. Closing his lips into a tight line, Enmu looked away, out of a quiet unconscious respect. Everything made so much more sense to Enmu now. Why the demon king was the way he was, his hatred for slayers, his cold-hearted, murderous nature.

It all clicked into place.

"I... I am sorry for your loss, Master." He said, his voice quieter than normal, "She seemed like a lovely woman."

Muzan peered up at the back of Enmu's head. Through his thick, black lashes.

"Yes..." Muzan said.

"She truly was."

#demon slayer #kny fanfic #kny x reader #kimetsu no yaiba muzan #kimestsu no yaiba #demon slayer x y/n #demon slayer x you #demon slayer x reader #muzan kibutsuji #muzan kibutsuji x reader

[starfellwish]

ML Theory: Episode 22, Finale, Ladynoir, and Everything Else

This will have rocketear and finale synopsis spoilers - be warned.

I genuinely do think that the two part finale of season 4, "The Last Attack of Shadowmoth" (which is,,, a title to say the least; more on that in a bit) is gonna be so tense for a variety of reasons.

Rocketear Analysis

We have a couple of gamechanger episodes coming up. Rocketear definitely was a gamechanger as Adrien was able to realize that Alya and Nino are aware of each other's identities with Ladybug giving them permission. And he's angry about it. He knows that Ladybug lied to him about the rules, and he also knows that her being the guardian is definitely something that has led to their relationship being affected (flashbacks to a previous s4 ep when he's like it's cool if she's the guardian, as long as their partnership isn't affected - well that was some foreshadowing, wasn't it?). Honestly, seeing that as Marinette makes all the rules now as guardian, her decisions should be able to include her knowing Chat's identity. But. Chat Blanc exists, and I think that her not telling him about it and hiding it from him is a parallel to how she wanted Alya to hide the truth from Nino (obviously this failed too - Alya went behind her back to tell Nino the truth). She knows that he'd understand if she told him and its better to tell him that he may destroy everything if they knew each other's identities than left him feeling isolated and alone and at risk for literally getting akumatized. By isolating him, she's quite literally putting the world at risk for Chat Blanc 2.0, rather than her telling him something heartbreaking and being there for him so he doesn't get hurt by Shadow Moth's intentions. I think that she'll come to realize this in the finale and learn from her mistakes.

I think that in this screenshot, we got a snippet of foreshadowing of what's to come:

I saw some people theorize that this is foreshadowing that Adrien's real identity is between Ladynoir, and while this could be general foreshadowing for the entirety of the show (Marinette is in love with Adrien, and that's why she can't love Chat Noir), I do think that interpretation could be misplaced here due to the tone of the episode. Instead, I believe that this is foreshadowing that Chat may reveal himself to Ladybug. After all, she literally knows the identity of literally every other person who has a miraculous, and is the guardian.

*Side note: It also reminds me a lot of Felix. Could be a reference to that? Not sure what my thoughts on that being, but it's just somehting that struck me.

Episode 22

In my mind, it would make most sense for Adrien to reveal himself in episode 22. We've been told by the people who make the show that since episode 22 is the 100th episode of the show overall, it will be incredibly serious. This episode may run the highest risk of Adrien being akumatized into Chat Blanc again, as tensions are definitely running high. However, another akumatization event could happen, and Chat could be left out again, making him angry. I think that him getting akumatized is more likely, however. This is because of his appearance in Sentibubbler - I think that's foreshadowing. After everything is taken care of, Chat Noir and Ladybug will get into an argument. Chat will tell Ladybug that he knows about Alya and Nino, and that he thinks she's a hypocrite. He was loyal to her, and now he's having his doubts about their partnership, because he doesn't even think its a partnership anymore. Ladybug is the guardian and has more secrets that she is keeping from him. She talks about Chat Blanc and tells him that him finding out her identity leads to basically the end of the world. Adrien is surprised that he was akumatized before. He then gets mad at her for literally hiding this from him when they could've taken precautions beforehand, and then could possibly assert that he doesn't know what else she's hiding from him. He also, at the same time, doesn't feel like he should be Chat Noir anymore if he poses that much of a risk to the world. He detransforms in front of her and gives her the miraculous. He tells her he won't be a problem again, and leaves.

Finale

Ladybug, of course, realizes her mistake and tries to get him back. However, over the course of 23 and 24, she is caught up with Alya and Nino's problems with them not hiding their secrets. Adrien is already scheduled to leave Paris for a couple of weeks with Lila, and Ladybug trying to persuade him to stay is basically one of the main conflicts of the final episode. Pair this with "ShadowMoth's Last Attack" and you've got a season finale. I think the name of the season finale, is, as always, a misdirect. There's no way Gabriel is getting all his miraculous taken away until season 5, as that's when the full reveal happens, so it seems like he'll return to just regular old Hawkie. I don't think it would make sense for him to be disarmed now and for next season's finale to have the full reveal. Here's the synopsis below so we can dissect it.

Shadowmoth's Last Attack

Having understood that if Ladybug always triumphs, it's thanks to her prudence, Papillombre (Shadow Moth) conceives a diabolical plan around a super villain endowed with the power to push his victims to take all risks. When Marinette learns that Adrien must leave Paris for several weeks with Lila, new muse of the Agreste brand, she is ready to do she is ready to do anything to stop him. How far will she go? Even to the fatal risk of betraying her secret identity for love? And will Adrien take the risk to finally stand up to his father?

Okay, so let's dissect this. What I said before adds up to Adrien leaving with Lila. It would also explain why Marinette would potentially reveal herself to Adrien, if only to get him to stay. Because she knows that he's Chat, and maybe her being Marinette will somehow influence his decision. Or, it may show him that she's finally willing to trust him with everything.

It could also allude back to the song in the movie. Since the Miraculous movie was originally intended to act as a finale to Season 5, we can take things from early development and see if they end up fitting in the narrative. In this situation I'm going to quote "Ce mur qui nous separe" (English translation: The Wall Between Us), the French song that was made for the movie when it was intended to be the Season 5 finale.

It’s strong when I see him I want to scream on the rooftops our love that reaches out to us But I know that I can’t It’s not the right moment We have to be patient be patient

Here's the French translation in case the translation Genius gave me was wrong:

C’est fort quand je le vois Je veux crier sur tous les toits Notre amour qui nous tend les bras Mais je sais que je ne dois pas Ce n’est pas le moment Il faut être patients Être patients

This part of the song is from Marinette's perspective, and the fact that she's saying that she has to wait for the right moment to actually be in love with him probably means that she knows Adrien's identity. Because why would she "know" that she can't love him? Why is it not the right moment? Why do they have to be patient? Her being Ladybug and being unable to be in a relationship may explain why it's not the right moment, but the fact that she says "our" love points me in another direction. She knows she loves Adrien, and she knows that Chat, and therefore, Adrien, loves her. But she can't tell him her identity yet. However, her knowing his identity would make sense. I remember that before season 4 started airing, a lot of the fandom wondered if Chat was going to have to reveal his identity to her because she's the guardian. After all, that would make sense. Them making it a problem over the course of the season would mean that it would have to be handled in some way. I think that her finding out Chat's identity is probably the most logical course of action, as she can't be a good guardian until she has all the information at her disposal.

There are two specific lines which I find interesting in the finale synopsis. The part where it says, "Papillombre (Shadow Moth) conceives a diabolical plan around a super villain endowed with the power to push his victims to take all risks," is particularly interesting. This could mean a couple of things. Shadow Moth could be akumatizing Felix - after all, he stopped at nothing to try and replace Adrien in order to ruin his relationship with his friends. He kissed Ladybug when she told him no. He was snooping in Adrien's things. Clearly, there was nothing he wasn't willing to do in order to get the ring back. (This whole thing is never explained either after Felix - why is the ring so important?) Maybe that will make a comeback? Or, the "his" in the synopsis where it specifies that the villain has no limits, may be referring to Shadowmoth. In that situation, it could be Lila who is again akumatized. She has clearly no limits, as she's working for Shadow Moth willingly, and likely knows his identity. This is one likely scenario. Or Shadowmoth will akumatize Adrien. He may feel detached, and Gabriel will interpret it as being sad that he's being taken away from all of his friends. Adrien is known for being quite stubborn, and having Ladybug fight Adrien's akumatized state would be season finale material. However, if he is akumatized in the finale as something else, then the Chat Blanc akumatization in episode 22 is unlikely (they wouldn't do something like that twice in a row). Of course, his akumatized state would be different than Chat Blanc because people can be akumatized into multiple different villains and Hawkie doesn't know that Adrien=Chat Noir.

The second line that I find particularly interesting is this one:

And will Adrien take the risk to finally stand up to his father?

Now, why would Adrien stand up to his father? Maybe with literally everyone betraying him, he'll find no reason to stay. He needs a constant in his life, and telling his father that he needs him to be here for him may be a step that he makes. After all, Ladybug and him are having their biggest fight, his best friend Nino told him that he finds his hero persona absolutely abhorrent, and he doesn't feel like he has a place on the superhero team. He needs someone, and he's hoping that Gabriel can be that person.

That could be one scenario, or Adrien may find out about Hawkie's basement. Now, this, could raise a lot of questions for him. While I believe that Adrien would have the normal tendency to be like "father, what the hell." He may honestly believe that this is all he has left, and therefore, will assist his father. This takes me back to the season 2 opening card.

Where is Chat Noir? With the villains.

Maybe Adrien will have his well deserved Dark!Chat Noir arc. Or maybe, he'll be a spy for the Quantic team. Ladybug and him will make up, and he'll tell her that he can spy on Hawkie for the team, and that's how they move into season 5 - with Adrien as a double agent. He will help his father in everything that he does, and therefore, get access to more information that he can share with the team. He can help establish a meeting for Hawk Moth to get caught, with evidence, by planting cameras, calling police, etc.

Honestly, I'm hoping for the latter subplot, as I don't want Chat Noir to go evil for everyone's sakes. I do think that the latter would also give him a cementable role that would logistically make sense and help establish him as an strong character, and more importantly, a valuable member of the team and Ladybug's true partner.

Or, they could go down the more simpler route, and choose Adrien to find out, be shocked, and then yell at his father for being who he is. Gabriel just assumes because Adrien is only just Adrien, he doesn't have to worry about him. He will threaten Adrien, and Adrien will stay silent in front of him, but tell the team on the side. Of course, this doesn't really mean double agent Adrien, but it still implies spy Adrien. It also still manages to make his character more relevant.

Regardless, there's a lot of different ways that line could go, and I'm excited to see where it moves on from there.

Implications on the Love Square

The love square seems entirely messed up this season. There is almost nothing going on in relation to it, especially in regards to Ladynoir, Ladrien, and Marichat. Adrienette has honestly the most action right now, especially with the reverse umbrella scene, them helping out Juleka together, etc. This leads me to think that while we'll get a lot of Ladynoir in the finale as they repair their relationship, Adrienette may be the strongest ship of the four when moving into season 5. Let me explain why.

Over the course of this entire season, Adrien has been getting closer to Marinette, and is honestly more warm with her than he has been with Ladybug. This can explain what everyone has been thinking - a reverse love square. Even if Ladybug and him make up, Chat may honestly want to go and see other people. This includes Mari. What Nino said about Ladybug finding him annoying may actually really affect him and his feelings and make him realize that he can find love elsewhere. It's also the fact that it was enunciated twice during Rocketear that Alya couldn't fall in love with someone that she didn't really know. That could lead Adrien to wonder if he really knows Ladybug, which will definitely complicate his feelings. The Kagami thing was never going to work out, so he just needs to find someone else who cares for him. He knows Marinette; he has called her similar to Ladybug - he may rebound from Ladybug to Marinette. Ladybug may realize that she messed up, and she has already shown that she is becoming more indifferent to dating Adrien, due to what happened with Luka. When she and Chat Noir fix their relationship, she may see him as the only person she doesn't have to lie to, and therefore thinks about pursuing a relationship with him. Therefore, a reverse love square would make the most sense in this situation.

If a ship were to start actually dating in season 5 - it may honestly depend on how the finale is. The two most likely ships imo are either Ladynoir or Adrienette. If Ladynoir makes up during the finale, then the barriers to them dating aren't really present, unless the Alya thing actually makes it complicated for them. Adrienette may get together, but Marinette is wary of dating because she's Ladybug. However, we all know she's weak in the knees for Adrien and will definitely say yes if he asked her out.

Therefore, I feel like this season is leaning more towards plot and character development, and while it may set some things up for season 5, it is important to pay attention at the little shifts in the square, because they are happening right in front of us.

Alya and Marinette

I wanted to be able to talk about this at some point in this theory, but since everything else is more Adrien centric, I added it here at the end. Okay, so we know that Alya is lying to Marinette about telling Nino things. We also know that Alya has bended the rules for Nino multiple times, both before and during Rocketear. This could go one of two ways: Alya telling Nino teaches Marinette that she needs to be able to trust Chat, and therefore helps her realize that she doesn't need to be so secretive and lie all the time. It could also lead to a plot where Alya basically messed up largely by telling Nino, and everything goes downhill from there. Ladybug shows Chat that they can't know each other's identities because of what happened with them. We also Nino is a bit of a blabbermouth - love his character, but he is. He told Adrien not only his identity, but also Alya's. He also told him that they know the other's identity. This is bad, and Adrien knowing definitely affects the plot later on. If Adrien ends up revealing himself to Ladybug, it is likely that she'll find out about Nino saying that, and having to revoke their kwamis. This could lead to a strained relationship with Alya. In fact, it is likely that at this point, Marinette will already have a strained relationship with Alya, as it could be revealed that Alya told Nino about Rena Furtive. This could lead to Ladybug being defensive and worried that she made mistakes, and literally just closing the Miraculous box because of it. Maybe Alya will go rogue? After all, it was mentioned in Rocketear (and I appreciate that they talked about this) how Alya was a reporter and that by extension means that her personality is one of a truthteller. Alya getting angry at Mari could definitely lead to a situation where she threatens to tell he everyone. I don't think Alya would or could do that, but anger leads to akumatization, and an akumatized Alya would not be good for anyone as her judgement would be impaired. Regardless, Rena Furtive may be a short time hero, and Mari and Alya may end the season in a fight. I don't see that being resolved in the finale, as no fight like that is mentioned in those episodes. There is also simply too much going on in the finale for it to make sense. It may be resolved later on, just like how other problems in season 3 started being solved in the beginning of season 4. Or, it could be fought out and resolved in episodes 23 and 24.

Therefore, I think that the Nino carelessly revealing his identity and Alya carelessly disregarding Ladybug's orders may lead to a plotpoint at some point where Alya and Ladybug fight. While I do think that it would be nice if Alya proved Ladybug wrong and showed that they were stronger for working together, I do not think it's likely. The show was deliberate in showing that Alya had a weakness for Nino, and has shown before that it has led to many situations where there were risks for everyone involved. Even Hawkmoth said that love and secrets don't go well together (is he talking from experience?), and I feel like that was so deliberate, but it could also be alluding to Chat and Ladybug. (Side note: it was so weird for Hawk Moth to say that, as he had no idea of the situation; regardless I do think this it's heavy foreshadowing.) Therefore, I do not think the situation that Alya has placed herself in is a situation which will have a peaceful ending.

Final Notes:

I personally cannot wait for the "Gabriel Agreste" episode. I think that the fact that we did not get it yet means that it has serious story implications. Personally, I believe it's going to explain allllll the backstory we need for the whole Bourgeois/Tsurugi/Agreste history and tell us why Emilie is the way she is right now. Of course, maybe it won't do everything, but the fact that it is named after Gabriel makes me wonder if it'll be his origins episode of sorts.

EDIT AFTER MEGA LEECH: IF GABRIEL AGRESTE REVEALS ADRIEN TO BE A SENTIMONSTER I WILL BE SO SO EXCITED BC ANGST BUT ALSO LIKE??? WHAT ABOUT THE PLOT? WHAT ABOUT THE NINE YEAR OLDS?

Chat snapping is honestly something that I cannot wait for. All of his anger has been building up over the entire season thus far, and the implications of his feelings are definitely serious for the show's plot.

I wonder if Mayura will be making a comeback at some point. While this is less relevant, Nathalie's health seems to be making her bedridden for a long time. Maybe she'll return to a similar state to Emilie? I saw theories that stated that if Hawkie gets his wish, Nathalie's life may be sacrificed for Emilie's, and idk, I think it's not likely that it'll happen, but it would be cool if it did. The ultimate payback for his actions being the loss of Nathalie.

Look at the end card of Rocketear:

He's looking at the moon, which was shown in New York to be something he does when he's sad. Also possible reference to him destroying the moon in Chat Blanc.

Kitty do be on a roof all alone without his lady :(

#nino lahiffe #adrien agreste #ladynoir #miraculous ladybug #the reveal #chat noir #marinette dupain cheng #alya cesaire #rena rouge #rena furtive #carapace #rocketear #gabriel agreste #hawkmoth #ml spoilers #alynino #alynette #shadowmoth #adrinino #sentibubbler #nathalie sanco #mayura #ml season 4 #mlm #miraculous ladybug theory #ml theory #chat blanc #miraculous reveal #poor adrien :( #he really do be getting the short end of the stick here

[bringmebackdude]

I Can't Quit You Baby

(gif not mine)

Pairing: Slash x fem!Reader

Concept: Slash has been hooking up with a rich girl, but this time "no ties" starts to bother him.

Word count: 1,454

A/N: Actually I've been thinking about making a fic out of this one, haven't read or seen one like this with the guys and mixing a rich girl with Slash seems very interesting...(if you have, please let me know, I'm not trying to steal any content by mistake!)

(light smut, fluff)

His agitated body dropped next to hers, both chests going up and down from exhaustion and the heat that filled the considerably small room. Their bodies still felt the shivers of pleasure, there was a comfortable silence during the recovery. (Y/N) sat on the edge of the bed looking for her bra, which she spotted right next to Pandora's tank, his snake, alongside her panties. It was a usual scavenger hunt for her clothes, she and Slash wouldn't care where they left their stuff when lust came between them. He lit a cigarette while watching his companion with a frown, slightly smirking seconds later when he laid eyes on the lightning-struck tattoo she had on her left buttock. "You're leaving already?"

"Wasn't two hours enough for you, big boy?" she chuckled, sliding her legs inside the pink skirt.

"It's just that you usually stay longer...y'know" shrugging and letting the smoke escape from his lips, he sat on the bed. Carefully pushing some of his rebel curls back, so he could give a better look to the girl's half-naked body. "And it isn't two hours if you count the smoke breaks."

"I have stuff to do, and I'm already late," her tone was calm, but she buttoned down her blouse in a rush, shoving her panties in her purse after.

"Daddy invited the president over tonight?" he asked mockingly.

"Ha-ha, very funny," she finished tying her boots and walked towards him, holding his face between her hands "You would love to go to one, wouldn't ya?"

"I'd die for," using his reliable sarcasm, he wrapped his arms around her waist.

"I'll see you soon," always her same goodbye, not forgetting about the quick peck on the lips before taking her belongings and walking out of his room. "Bye, Pandora! Bye, Duff!" Slash heard the main door close, letting out a sigh, all the fun was over sooner than he thought. He was quite happy with the dynamic between him and (Y/N), no need for compromises, just sex whenever they were in need. She was funny, hot, friendly, listened to the same music as he did, and not to mention she was rich. Also, her dad hated Slash, which made the friendship more exciting for both of them. Two lovers of trouble, together, were no good. That's exactly what he wanted, a good fuck and then leave. But somehow, it slightly bothered him that she didn't ask for more. All the girls were looking for something serious with him, why not her?

"She left early, huh?" Duff's head poked out of his door before he made an entrance to the curly's bedroom. He shrugged again, taking a puff on his cigarette "Yeah." "Oh dude, I'm so jealous you can bang that anytime you want. Do you mind if I shoot my shot with her?" "It's not up to me. She's probably out of your league" Slash replied. The guys enjoyed having her around, she wasn't stuck up like other ones, but still, she had a very strong character, which would sometimes cause fights between her and Axl. Of course, she had developed quite the friendship with Duff. The blond giraffe was funny as hell. "If she's a Motley Crue girl, there will be no problem to get her" rested his body against the wall and crossed his arms with a smirk. He knew it was gonna piss the guitarist. "What do you mean?" "Izzy and I ran into her a couple of nights ago after a Motley Crue concert. No big deal." "What were you doing there?" Slash interest grew, he threw the cigarette to the floor and step on it. She goes to see Motley but not us? (Y/N) knew that they were making noise around Los Angeles, he talked endlessly to her about many gigs, still, she never attended one. The unusual feeling of resentment invaded him. He shrugged, making his way out of the room "Chicks are horny as fuck at the end of a rock concert, dude." Duff laughed walking through the hall, knowing the effect that his comment had caused on his friend. As much as Slash would deny it, everyone in the band knew there was something much more than just a friendship going between the two of them. Ever since the night they met her, the proprietorial side of the curly had shown. Besides (Y/N) being rad, she would sometimes arrive at their apartment with boxes of beer when she knew it was their rest day, lent them some clothes, or even offer transportation. Although she would disappear very often and for several days, it was a friendship worth keeping. At this point, the guys were just waiting for them to become something a bit more official, but the two lovers were too proud.

﹆

Her foot stomped on the floor when she tripped on the amp next to the sofa, the dark empty apartment echoed with giggles from the two of them, their mouths refusing to separate. Slash felt the doorknob of his room, quickly opening the door and pulling the girl inside, both wasting no time in starting to take their clothes off. She let her skirt slide down her legs, showing off her pink thong. He, on the other side, was almost naked when he took his pants off, the guy had no problem being commando most of his life. He laid her body delicately on the bed, sliding his mouth towards the female's jaw, where he left traces of saliva from his wet kisses along with a few bites. The rough touch of his blistered fingers running through her body, making her skin crawl as the touch entered between her legs, a smirk appeared in the guitarist's face when he felt how wet she was already, something he never got tired of. A moan escaped from her lips when his mouth positioned on one of her nipples, sucking hard. "Baby" her hands running through his curls, slightly pulling from these, "I need you," she whispered. Needless to say, that unleashed the lust he carried inside.

...

His tanned hand grabbed the delicate one, feeling his fingers locked with hers, a simple but cute thing that Slash usually didn't do. She bit her lip, hiding the smile that the sudden action had provoked on her. "So... Duff told me he saw you at a Motley concert." "Oh yeah, I think it was last weekend or something like that," she shrugged, peering up at him. "I didn't know you liked those types of bands..." trying hard to hide his jealousy, he kept an unworried face. "One of my girlfriends took me with her, and you know I like rock," covering her breasts with the blanket, she reached for a cigarette and took the lighter from the nightstand. "Why?" "Why what?" "Why is this whole interrogation happening, dumbass?" she chuckled, letting the smoke come out right in front of his face. Slash coughed, rolling his eyes before stealing the cigarette from her hand, to which she smiled. "I don't know, it's just that you never come to watch us perform." "So?"

"So? We are friends, and you've never attended one of our gigs, you just drop us off and we're way better than them," he scoffed irritated. The female looked at him with confusion, not understanding where this was all coming from. "Honey, you never invite me to any of your events, I thought this was only hooking up and hanging every now and then," she replied with furrowed brows. He never seemed to have a problem with that. "Well maybe I want more..." with his arms crossed on his chest, he avoided her fazed stare, the last thing he needed was for her to notice his cheeks blushing. The words slipped out of his mouth. Did he regret saying that? No, he didn't, all this time he had been craving more but his pride was too big to admit it. After a few seconds of letting all this new information sink in, slowly a mocking smile was drawn on her face, sliding in bed to be closer to him,"Why didn't you say anything before?" "Cause I guess I didn't realize it completely until a few days ago...whatever, this is stupid" his slight embarrassment was adorable for her, it was a completely new side of the tough carefree guy she knew. "No, it's not," she stopped him before he could get out of the bed."I think we could work something out," a shy smile was attached to the response that was going to change their path from now and on. "I'd like that" he pulled her closed, wrapping his arms around her waist as another round was waiting for them.

#another one!!! #I feel like it was kinda sloppy so I apologize #will keep practicing #hope yall like it <3 #thanks for all the support #slash #saul hudson #slash x reader #slash imagine #slash fic #guns n roses #guitarist #slash fanfic #guns n roses imagine #guns n roses x reader #fanfic #slash gnr #gnr #saul hudson imagine #saul hudson fanfic #saul hudson x reader #rock

[a-master-procrastinator]

Long ass post about the Eternal family not being a copy-paste from ATLA (aka I like the memes but my god can you please stop)

Because some people truly think that Vaylin is off-brand Azula, Arcann is Zuko and so on.

It's. Called. A. Trope. (I mean how often do we come across abusive manipulative fathers in media? Mothers who couldn't much to change anything? Children, desperately looking for their parent's approval no matter what?)

Of course, you have to consider the fact that the writing of ATLA is simply better than of KotFE/ET, so this might have been one of the reasons why people say that.

Spoilers for Avatar: The Last Airbender, Knights of the Fallen Empire and Knights of the Eternal Throne expansions!

Okay, so here's my unprofessional, maybe biased, not super deep take.

(not going to mention that all of them are members of royal, ruling family, kinda obvious)

What roles do they play in their stories? Well, both Valkorion and Ozai are main antagonists, but their presence throughout the story is very different. Ozai is rarely shown in first two seasons, we don't even see his face until season 3. He doesn't have a direct connection to the protagonist, they only meet at the very end of the show, and Ozai's role is to pose a threat to the world, while Aang's is to save it. Valkorion, on the other hand, is constantly on the screen, interacting with the main character, challenging their viewpoint and influencing them directly. His end goal is similar to Ozai's (destroy everything and be the only ruler of the his nation), but with one major difference - he's trapped in Outlander's mind, so to achieve his goal Valkorion attempts to take control of the main character. Their interactions play important role in the story, and we spend a lot of time with Valkorion.

In addition to that, their relationship with children are also not exactly the same. It seems like Azula is Ozai's favorite and Zuko is a failure in his eyes until he meets his expectations, and the same goes with Vaylin, Arcann and Valkorion, right? Well, partially. Indeed, Valkorion and Ozai's treat their sons in similar ways (are disappointed in them until they meet their expectation by doing something that goes against their morals), but when it comes to Vaylin and Azula, it's not that easy. See, Valkorion claims that Vaylin was always his favorite creation (even though we know it's actually his empire), and he certainly seems to take pride in her potential in the Force. But her power is the very reason he's afraid of his own daughter, and in this fear Valkorion literally locks Vaylin away and allows to put her through physical and mental torture just to make sure she won't become a threat, won't overpower him. Maybe he thought of her better than of Arcann, but she wasn't his favored child for sure. I don't want to say that Azula hasn't experienced abuse from Ozai, but for the most part he clearly favored her over Zuko. He has never shown fear of Azula's power and abilities (or at least I haven't noticed), quite the opposite - allowed her to do a lot, as long as she brings results.

I could also mention their slightly different characterization (mostly that we get more characterization of Valkorion, get to learn his motivations, views, philosophy and all that, also he's portrayed as more nuanced, even if he not really is) and role in their respective governments (ozai is one of many Fire Lords and arguably not the greatest, while Valkorion is a god to citizens of Zakuul, their only Immortal Emperor), but those are details, and I think you get the point.

What's similar: role of the main antagonist, manipulative and abusive father, goal of destruction of everything that isn't their nation/empire, relationship with disgraced son.

What's different: presence in the overall narrative, relationship with the main character, relationship with daughter, role in their societies.

Senya and Ursa are even less similar. Yes, they both are mothers who love their children, but have to leave them, but these are probably the only things they have in common. Just as with Ozai and Valkorion's presence throughout the story, Ursa is only shown in flashbacks (for obvious reasons), and Senya is one of major characters in KotFE and (a bit less major) in KotET. Ursa leaves because she has to kill Azulon in order to save Zuko, and later isn't present in the story (I'm aware that her fate is told in comics, but we aren't talking about it). Senya leaves because when she tries to take children with her, they refuse, and she understands that she can't force them to, nor she can help them to break free from Valkorion's manipulations. For a long time she's absent from Arcann ad Vaylin's lives, but at the time of game events she attempts to save her children and stop the madness and destruction they've caused, and it isn't a small part of the story.

I also want to add that their relationship with Ozai and Valkorion are also different, but can't say much about Ursa. I heard that she didn't choose this marriage and suffered emotional (and maybe physical???) abuse from Ozai. I can say with confidence, though, that Senya genuinely loved Valkorion, and strangely enough, he seems to at very least respect her. But, of course, this wasn't the best marriage either.

Plus, we see more of Senya's relationship with Vaylin than Arcann or Thexan, but with Ursa we see her more with Zuko than Azula. Just a detail to remember.

(also Senya is simply a better character but that besides the point, moving on. in this house we stand Senya)

What's similar: role of loving and caring mother, abandoning their family at some point.

What's different: presence in the overall narrative, relationship with husband, characterization in general.

Boy, where do I even begin. Vaylin and Azula are similar in that they are both extremely powerful (one is firebending prodigy, the other is potentially stronger than Valkorion), both are cruel "craaaaazy" (i hate that cliché), both are younger sisters, have serious mother issues (seemingly more so than father issues), both go through betrayal of people they could always rely on, which eventually leads to their downfall. But when I took a look at their personal arcs, it became clear that they aren't the same (unfortunately, Vaylin's arc is very rushed and underdeveloped, but we'll have to go with what we have and my personal view, sorry).

There's a really good video about writing corruption and madness, and I'm going to base my thoughts on it. To summarise it: a good corruption arc should have 4 components:

- the character has a specific goal (or a goal and subgoals);

- in pursuit of said goal they become the cause of a significant event that brings serious consequences;

- as the result of these consequences, character abandons their morals, ideals or a code in pursuit of goal;

- character either will not achieve their goal or will succeed, but it won't be enough to satisfy them.

And then the author brings Azula's arc as one of the best examples of compelling story of corruption (so basically, she represents it perfectly). In short, Azula's main goals are perfection and control, and subgoals help achieve the main ones. In pursuit of these goals, Azula causes Mai and Ty Lee to betray her (by pushing them too far to do something they wouldn't do), which then causes her to become paranoid, which makes her to attempt controlling everything and everyone around her, *breathes* which makes her lose control over herself and ....

Now, I thought if Vaylin's arc could fit into a corruption one, and next part will be based a lot on my assumptions and personal view of her character (plus rushed writing doesn't help), but I think yes (or at least mostly). The difference is in goals, ideals and details.

While the story strongly makes us think that Vaylin's goal is freedom (or control over her life and everything around her) or power and destruction, I think it's actually self-determination (which was said by Tenebrae in 6.2) and feeling safe. Let me explain (and here I thought this would be a short comparison). Sure, when Valkorion caged Vaylin on Nathema, he took choices and control over her life from his daughter. But let's not forget whom Vaylin blames for this (even more than Valkorion): her own mother, and I think this details tell us that the most important thing that Vaylin lost on Nathema is feeling safe. Then, after Arcann brought her home, I assume Vaylin still didn't feel safe enough under Valkorion's rule, still too afraid that he'd simply send her back to that hellish place.

It's when Valkorion is struck down Vaylin finally has a feeling of personal safety, even if she isn't the one on the throne. Why? Because back on Nathema there were two people who haven't turned on her - Arcann and Thexan (yes, this is also a huge assumption, bc the game states that only Thexan visited her, but it doesn't make much sense).

I've always noticed (and I'm not alone in this) that her behavior in Fallen Empire is different from the way she acted in Eternal Throne. Most likely bc of rushed writing, but I see a character driven reason here. In first of these expansions, Vaylin is the second person in power on Zakuul, and with Arcann being in charge, person she can trust more than any other living being, she feels safe - she can test her power, and now Valkorion won't prevent it, she can do pretty much everything she wishes, and the most Arcann will do about this is mildly complain (without blaming her). Really would be nice if we got to see any normal hobbies of Vaylin (like wasn't there something about books or art?), but I digress. She might have some questions about Arcann's tactics, but they get along just fine. The important thing to note is Vaylin not seeking to hunt the Outlander personally, to rule or conquer the rest of the galaxy, or trying to achieve absolute freedom or power. She's kinda there.

This, however, changes when Arcann doesn't allow Vaylin to kill Senya. Their relationship was getting somewhat worse towards the end of KotFE, but this is a turning event Vaylin caused by attempting to strike her mother. By saving the person Vaylin blames for all the trauma from sending her to Nathema, Arcann threatened her feeling of safety. And now Vaylin starts to believing that to achieve safety she now needs to kill people who hurt her (that's why she's so determined to find Senya and Arcann), take the throne and hunt down Outlander (she was manipulated by SCORPIO to these subgoals).

(The following is the weakest, I'll admit, but I hope I can at least express what I see). So, in trying to achieve goals she didn't want before Vaylin loses in self-determination, being either driven by overwhelming anger or manipulated by others (SCORPIO or Commander on Odessen), desperately trying to accomplish anything, or even goes against her morals (like by erasing GEMINI's free will protocols, when earlier she agreed that freedom to choose is important; or breaking the deal on Odessen). All of these result in her downfall.

But even this isn't the end. The key difference between arcs of Azula Vaylin lies in it's resolution, or that Vaylin have a chance to overcome corruption in the main narrative (and Azula doesn't. again, not including comics here, sorry). After death, Vaylin is again controlled by Valkorion in Outlander's mind. First time physically (she can't resist it), second time mentally. This is where Vaylin has to choose - kill brother who betrayed her and Commander who killed her, or go against Valkorion, person responsible for almost all of her pain and trauma. She has t choose by herself, and I think it's a good start.

Now, before 6.2 we all thought Vaylin was dead for good, but that story update hinted at possibility of her coming back to life. What I like to think is that now that she dealt with people responsible for her trauma (helped defeat Valkorion and actually for once listened to Senya), Vaylin can now have a different life, finding herself with support of someone she doesn't hold a grudge against and who treats her well (Satele, I mean).

I'm so sorry for going into details, but I needed this long explanation to present the point (and I suck at explanations). As said before, this is my version of her arc, and most likely wrong interpretation, but even with personal freedom of choice, Vaylin character differs from Azula a lot.

Need I mention that Vaylin relationship with Arcann and Valkorion are drastically different from those between Azula, Zuko and Ozai?

(Also a little detail - with royal family of Fire Nation, Azula is the golden child, while with Tiralls it's actually Thexan, not Vaylin).

What's similar: role of extremely powerful, emotionally damaged daughter with little to no regard towards others, close people betraying them, resulting in their downfall.

What's different: characterization, role in the narrative, relationship with father and brother.

Arcann and Zuko is the most difficult part, but I still believe that calling Arcann just a cheap copy of Zuko is incorrect.

So, they fall into role of less successful son, always getting disapproval from father, being in shadow of more talented sibling, both obsessed with capturing the main character but ending up helping them end the war after going through a redemption arc with help of caring family member. Even both have scars on left side of face. Yeah, seems similar. I still think they are different characters.

Let's start with their relationships with family. In Valkorion section I said that his attitude towards Arcann is similar to that of Ozai towards Zuko, so not going to spend too much time here. However, there's slight difference - Zuko didn't kill his father even he had a perfect opportunity (bc it wasn't his goal), Arcann did (bc it was one of his goals), which says something about their characterizations.

Zuko and Ursa were shown to have a good mother-son relationship, and it played a role in Zuko's character. With Arcann and Senya, we don't really know (not much was shown in expansions). We know Arcann didn't hate his mother, but possibly didn't have warm memories of her either. The reason is most likely, like Senya said, her children wanted nothing to do with her (which is a bit untrue about Vaylin, but okay) and leaned more towards Valkorion. We need to remember that on Zakuul Valkorion isn't just one of many great leaders, he's the greatest, and seen as a god by most citizens, so safe to assume the same would apply to his children as well.

Zuko and Azula's siblingship (i'm out of words) is a bit similar to Arcann and Vaylin's in way of brother knowing that his sister isn't good, but still caring about them (even if not showing). At least it's what I saw. What's different is how Azula treats Zuko, compared to how Vaylin treats Arcann. I think Azula showed compassion or concern for Zuko maybe twice, but I'm not entirely convinced that it was 100% sincere. Vaylin, on the other hand, seems to trust and care about Arcann (with bits of sass and questioning his life choices), and switching to complete opposite after him saving Senya. Also, I don't she ever called Arcann a failure in their father's eyes.

Now I want to say that their roles in stories aren't the same either. Sure, both are introduced to us as antagonists, but in reality, Zuko was never a true antagonist (we get to learn this somewhere mid-season 1), when Arcann remains the main antagonist for whole of KotFE. Zuko didn't start a war and didn't participate in conquest of other nations too much, his main goal was to capture the Avatar so to restore his honor (and deserve his father's forgiveness). Honestly, I think it's safe to say the Zuko is one of two main protagonists of ATLA. Why does Arcann want to capture the Outlander? Solely because his father's spirit still lives inside this person's mind, and the best solution to keep Valkorion away from the galaxy is not letting the Outlander free (hence the carbonite freezing). And Arcann doesn't want or need Valkorion's forgiveness when he attempts to kill him (or kills him, depending on your choice. anyway, his action directly leads to Valkorion's "death"). And right after that he becomes a ruler of Zakuul and begins the conquest of Republic, Sith Empire and everything he can reach (the reasoning behind this is still unclear to me though; maybe because he was raised with ruling Zakuul in mind and he didn't anything else, idk). Point is, he's responsible for war and main's character imprisonment, which makes him the main antagonist of KotFE. They have it the opposite ways - Zuko starts as disgraced prince, supported by a little group of people, and in the end he's recognized and appreciated by his nation, and Arcann starts as respected by his empire, later becoming less and less loved, until some groups start rebelling his rule, and in the end he doesn't get to rule Zakuul again.

This leads me to their morals. See, Zuko didn't have the worst morals in Fire Nation, even more, he expressed care for loyals soldiers of his nation before getting punished by Ozai. During first season (and about a half of second one) his views on other nations are what he was taught before. However, these views are challenged by travelling in Earth Kingdom, witnessing people suffering from war Fire Nation started and hating its people (you already know all of this), and with this he comes through final stage of redemption when he's back home. Unfortunately, Arcann doesn't go through this, and he's shown to be more ruthless.

Alright, when it comes to their redemption arcs, well let's say they are different (both in quality and the way they go through it), I'm just a bit tired of long explanations at this point. Zuko's arc is one of the best ever put on television, and Arcann's... well, it definitely has potential, but is criminally underdeveloped (there are other people who will explain it better than I ever could).

What's similar: role of disgraced son, living in shadow of their sibling, serious injuries on the left side of face (though with different meanings), obsession with capturing the main character, having a redemption arc.

What's different: role in the narrative, role in their society, characterization, relationship with sister and mother, different end goals (before redemption), paths to redemption.

#ah. ofc it didn't show in the tag bc of the youtube link. ofc. gonna be down bc of this) #hey look at me rambling about something only maybe 2 people take seriously #also i noticed that parental characters are better in swtor and children characters are better in atla. do what you want with this #it's 3:30 am i should be sleeping but here instead writing this #(forgive if i have some spelling mistakes. brain shutting down but i won't be at peace if i don't post it right now) #okay so if you have thoughts on this... you really don't have to waste time on this #i really only wrote this because i was annoyed by some peeps on reddit claiming vaylin is off-brand with a straight face #(and then posted this on tumblr bc i don't want to suffer those people on reddit) #what am i doing with my time #(not gonna tag atla bc it's not really about it) #swtor #arcann #vaylin #valkorion #senya tirall #kotfe #kotet #pauletta's babbling #pls send help #(or oc aks to give me some free serotonin but no obligations ofc)