#this is directly related to the post i made about it last night and the one i just reblogged

[abbyshands]

THE LAST OF US, and the israeli themes surrounding it

i'm very glad that people were able to see one of the previous things i published, where i complied a series of links that you can use to learn more of what's going on in gaza, how you can help, places you need to boycott, etc. however, at the end of the post, there is a large part of it that is DIRECTLY meant for people who play or watch the last of us, or play the last of us 2.

the last of us 2 in specific is not at all elusive in displaying the chilling themes we are seeing before us today. what boggles my mind, is that a select few individuals are choosing to keep publishing fics, reblogging them, uploading content that has NOTHING to do with what's going on, etc. also, you can't reblog one thing about palestine and claim that you care, then flood your account or people's home pages in fanfiction, especially during a media blackout. it just doesn't work like that.

i took the time to make a post discussing all of the israeli/palestinian themes that the games as a whole, but mainly the second one, display. if you are my mutual, a friend, a fan of my work, or a fan of the game or show, then i 100% demand you read this. if you can read fics for hours, you can spend time to read a post discussing the universe those very fics came from.

a lot of us are now aware of the last of us's nature in regards to the ongoing genocide, but not many people know the specifics of it. after seeing this post last night (the person who made this, you are an angel), i decided to take the time to dive into the specifics of the last of us 2's israeli nature, on a logical level, but also a moral level, using a list of sources to help me along, which will be linked at the end of this post. i will link the sources along the way so you know which sources i got my information from.

regardless of if this changes anyone's mind about ignoring the media blackout, or not giving a fuck about what's going on period, know this: regardless of how you feel, regardless of what you believe, from the river to the see, palestine will be free. at this fucking point, the people who are on the right side will keep speaking out and spreading awareness, regardless if you are here to do it with us. that's it. now, let's get into this.

UPCOMING DISCUSSIONS: neil druckmann, the last of us 1, the last of us 2, the last of us show and zionism in the show's cast, boycotting the game and show, and conclusion

NEIL DRUCKMANN

45-year-old neil druckmann, who was the co-director and co-writer for the last of us 2, was born in tel aviv, israel in 1978. according to the above source, druckmann was raised in a settlement in the west bank, where he was surrounded by violence on a daily basis. comics, movies, and most of all, video games, became an escape for him as a child, before he and his family moved to miami, floridawhen he was 10 years old.

to water down the full story that you can, again, read here, druckmann went to college to major in criminology. however, when he was in college, druckmann took a compsci course, that later lead to his major becoming coding as opposed to criminology. soon after, he knew he wanted a career that related to one thing: video games.

in the summer of 2013, the last of us part 1 was released, and it was renowned as one of best video games to have ever been made. in 2020, druckmann and nd released the last of us part 2, followed by the 2022 release of HBO's show based on the first video game. druckmann played a huge part on set, being not only the co-creator and co-writer of the show, but also having directed an episode himself. druckmann will remain involved in the second season of the show.

bringing up neil druckmann’s background is a crucial aspect of what’s upcoming in this post, hence why i wanted to discuss it at all. druckmann growing up in israel is one of the sole reasons the last of us was ever made at all, and not only that: it is the reason why the second game is the way it is, because neil druckmann planted his israeli ideologies right into it.

so, let’s speak on it.

THE LAST OF US 1

on the official the last of us podcast, neil druckmann himself discussed the last of us' link to the israeli-palestinian conflict, and now, genocide. the general consensus was that people will go ridiculously far for the people that they love. this idea of druckmann's was revealed when he discussed the first time the main character of the first game, joel miller, kills somebody to keep his daughter, sarah, safe from harm. this is one of the first scenes in the game prior to the time jump, where the pair's neighbor becomes infected, and attacks them. joel uses a gun to kill him so that the neighbor doesn't harm sarah.

the following is a quote i would like to copy from this link word for word: "Druckmann said he follows "a lot of Israeli politics" and compared the incident to Israel's release of hundreds of Palestinians prisoners in exchange for the captured Israeli soldier Gilad Shalit in 2011."

the plot of the first game, as neil druckmann explained, is based around a moral dilemma. he discusses how if joel had to kill a man to save a random kid, would he have done it? druckmann himself says, "but when it was his tribe, his daughter, there was no question about what he was going to do."

while the first game, in my opinion, isn't as heavily centered around israeli themes as the second game is, regardless, it is heavily crucial to note that the basis of the first game derived from a real-life incident involving israel and palestine, where hundreds of palestinian people (edit: i believe it is more than 1,000) were released from imprisonment, all in exchange for one israeli soldier. in the second game, the israeli-palestinian themes, if you look closely enough, scream out at you.

let's talk about it.

THE LAST OF US 2

"There is a common saying that if you seek revenge, you should dig two graves. Playing The Last of Us Part II is like being made to dig those graves with your teeth (Zacny)."

nd's 2022 the last of us part II is described down to the last letter in the above quote, albeit the game's utterly obvious israeli nature. in this post, the creator, rob zacny, goes on to discuss the game's theme of a "cycle of violence," and how the game reminds you in each grotesque encounter of the cruel ideology behind that. due to what occurs in the last of us 1, joel, basically, reaps what he sows when he is murdered for killing a surgeon who, along with the group said surgeon was a member of, the fireflies, was planning to perform surgery on ellie, who joel had since grown close to, in search of a cure for the infection that has plagued their world for decades. four years later, the second playable character in the game, who is introduced in the first half hour or so, abby anderson, kills joel to avenge the surgeon who was murdered, who happened to be her father. from then on, the game follows what, again, can only be described as a "cycle of violence." joel kills abby's dad, abby kills joel, ellie kills all of abby's friends, aims to kill abby in the final battle of the game, but spares abby when ellie's conscious morally attacks her for her decisions.

throughout the 24 odd hour gameplay, the player is allowed to play as ellie and abby, abby's parts of the game being arguably longer than ellie's. the idea this, i believe, is meant to introduce, is one of perspective: the player is meant to be loyal to joel miller once the first game has been finished, so when he is killed, they are inclined to make abby pay for it. however, abby's perspective, both in the past and as the present course of the game goes on, is meant to make the player understand why she did what she did. thus, the moral: there are no good guys in this game. every person is as equally bad as the following, and no one is innocent. however, when we consider the israeli-palestinian nature of this ideology and how it is presented in the last of us part 2, it simply doesn't work like this.

“I suspect that some players, if they consciously clock the parallels at all, will think The Last of Us Part II is taking a balanced and fair perspective on that conflict, humanizing and exposing flaws in both sides of its in-game analogues. But as someone who grew up in Israel, I recognized a familiar, firmly Israeli way of seeing and explaining the conflict which tries to appear evenhanded and even enlightened, but in practice marginalizes Palestinian experience in a manner that perpetuates a horrific status quo (Maiberg).”

when discussing the last of us part 2’s plot, one could 100% argue that there really aren’t good guys on the dual sides of the game. if you compare ellie and abby, you know that ellie went on a murder frenzy to get revenge on abby for killing joel. on abby’s side of it all, you know that abby wasn’t all that great before coming across lev and yara, and even then, she killed people to do what everyone in said world aims to do: survive. prior to finding lev and yara, abby had killed numerous people before, and did, as the player sees, handle joel very cruelly before she ended up killing him. here’s one more example, one that’s more random (but it’s simply to compare abby vs. ellie’s people, if you will): joel and manny. joel went on a cross country murder spree to keep ellie safe, and killed a building full of people at the end of the game to save her life. in regards to manny, if you recall a discussion that manny and mel had in the beginning of abby’s parts of the game, the pair are discussing a happening where a group aside from the wlf, the seraphites (which we will discuss later) attacked them because the wlf killed children who were a part of their (the seraphite’s) group. manny voiced how he would prefer to keep their people (the wlf) safe, and challenges mel, implying that those “kids” weren’t really kids, because they were the ones who attacked their guys (the wlf) in the first place. as a general consensus, manny kills several people throughout the course of the game, which can be inferred or seen by the player, making him, for the sake of what i’m getting at, a bad guy.

we see in the game how ellie and abby’s people are unanimously bad. the last of us is set in a world where laws and morals are thrown out the window for the sake of survival, so this is no surprise. however, this dual perspective, “no bad guy,” ideology simply doesn’t apply in the world today. you may compare ellie vs. abby, or joel vs. manny, or bring in more characters in the game, such as tommy, nora, etc, claiming that all parties are bad. that makes perfect sense. but think about it like this: if this is meant to represent the israeli-palestinian perspective, and i give you the scenario of a five-year-old child versus a full-grown IDF soldier, what would you say? isn’t there an obvious answer as to who is in the wrong and who’s not? maiberg is 100% right in claiming that the game marginalizes the real-life palestinian experience. abby, ellie, joel, manny, etc, are not real people. but the thousands of innocent children who have been killed for the ridiculousness and inhumane israeli regime are. you can’t say each side is equal in awfulness, not when one side is full of innocent men, women, and children, some of which could never make it into a year of their lives. not when if one side pauses their battle, there would be a ceasefire, but if the converse pauses their battle, they would all be dead.

“And then they cheered afterward,” Druckmann, who grew up in Israel, recalls. “It was the cheering that was really chilling to me. … In my mind, I thought, ‘Oh, man, if I could just push a button and kill all these people that committed this horrible act, I would make them feel the same pain that they inflicted on these people.’"

remember how i said discussing neil druckmann's background was crucial? it is. druckmann, who, again, was born in israel, told the Washington Post that the game's cynical themes of revenge and suffering is linked to the 2000 killing of two israeli soldiers (tw, lynching), who were killed by a mob (maiberg). allegedly, some of the incident was remembered in film, that druckmann watched, and in his interview, he explained his angry nature that came about in response to the video, and how he desired vengeance.

the last of us part 2 is mainly set in seattle, washington, where secondary main character, abby anderson, resides in with a militia group named the wlf (which we will also delve into later, alongside the seraphites). maiberg brings out how seattle, on a visual and mechanical level, is based around "a series of checkpoints, security walls, and barriers (Maiberg)." he notes: "[seattle] looks almost exactly like the tall, precast concrete barriers and watch towers Israel started building through the West Bank in 2000." here are side by side images for comparison:

now that we’ve discussed this, let us discuss one of most prevalent aspects of abby’s part of the story: the wlf, and the seraphites. the seraphites are a religious group, nicknamed “the scars” due to the scars the members of said group carve into their faces to display their membership, who the wlf, a makeshift militia group, runs into conflict with following the fall of FEDRA, the country’s former military. in a note in the game, a fedra commander explains that the city of seattle has been lost to the wolves (the wlf), who he names as terrorists. maiberg brings out the following: “Here, there are parallels to early Zionist organisations that fought British rule in the region. These organizations were also described as terrorists, and leaders of those organizations later became leaders in Israel, much like how Isaac, the leader of the Wolves, came to control Seattle. Other in-game notes, scenes of urban ambushes, and the bodies of executed FEDRA officers laboriously walk the player through the cliche "one man's terrorist is another man's freedom fighter (Maiberg).”

maiberg also discusses a series of manners in which the fictional seraphites resemble real-life palestinians. here are the three ways he specifically discusses in his original post, but there are much more:

“The same note from the Seattle FEDRA commander that bitterly says the Wolves are in charge explains that it's now their responsibility to not only feed and shelter the people of Seattle, but deal with the "religious fanatics," referring to the Scars.

Later in the game, Ellie finds a location called "Martyr Gate," where the Scars' spiritual leader apparently died, indicating a religious significance of a specific and disputed location, and emphasizing the notion of martyrdom as central to their culture.

The Scars are able to get around Wolf patrols and various barriers around the city via an elaborate, secret system of bridges between skyscrapers. These function as a kind of flipped version of the underground tunnels Palestinians use to bypass Israeli blockades and other means of limiting free movement in order to get supplies and carry out attacks on Israel.”

one more post i would like to link is this one, the very reason i decided to make this in the first place. it captures the zionism in the last of us 2, along with the wlf vs. seraphite conflict, perfectly. i very much recommend you read it, as it explains it much better than i can.

the general consensus is this: the idea that the seraphites are equally as bad as the wlf, which implies that palestinians are equally as bad as israelis, simply doesn’t apply in 2024. as i said before: what is so vile and cruel about a newborn baby? a pregnant woman? an innocent man? NOTHING. part of the reason the last of us captures this so poorly is due to the apocalyptic nature of the world the game is set in. obviously, people would go rogue if their lives were put in peril by not only animalistic infected beings, but also humans. however, we live in a real world where laws and morals do, in fact, apply. this isn’t a video game where those are simply discarded. what the wlf and the seraphites did to each other in the last of us 2 could be any other day for them: but what israel is doing to palestine right now is a war crime, a genocide, and plainly vile.

THE LAST OF US SHOW, and zionism in the show’s cast

i don’t think i need to spend a lot of time here, because if you have made it this far, you are well aware of the real nature of the last of us and the last of us 2 already, so you must understand that the show is HBO’s take on the game’s story (which, need i remind you show-wise and game-wise, neil druckmann played a huge part in). i simply bring it up so that people are aware of the fact that the 2022 show is ALSO linked to the ongoing genocide, and the cast is a major part of that (however, if anyone would like me to delve deeper into the show, let me know, and i 100% will).

for the following season which is a sequel to the last, theorized to center around the happenings of the last of us 2, members who are set to play a few crucial characters in the game have been announced. this includes isabela merced, who will play dina woodward, ellie’s romantic partner for most of the game, alongside kaitlyn dever, who will play abby anderson.

many people freaked out when they realized kaitlyn dever will be playing abby, but not for the reason they should have been. if you are a last of us fan, you are well aware that abby’s muscles are a central aspect of her persona. yet, kaitlyn dever is on the skinnier side, and according to some, does not resemble abby.

but this is not the issue that is most crucial to discuss.

kaitlyn dever is a zionist, and so is isabela merced (i am under the impression that both of these claims are true, but i had trouble finding a source i deemed reliable enough to link here. if i do, however, i will). now, while i’m not here to riddle you with conspiracy theories, people believe this (zionism) is the reason kaitlyn dever in specific got the role of abby anderson (there is a separate actress, shannon berry, who more closely resembles abby, but made a post in solidarity with palestine. this is theorized to be the reason why she didn’t get the part, and why kaitlyn dever was announced shortly after this particular actress made said post). let us not also forget that ellie’s actor, bella ramsey, is also in support of israel, which can be seen here.

(edit: i was informed since making this that bella has a story on one of their social medias, showing their alleged support of palestine and calling for a ceasefire. i’m going to link this post where i spoke on it, so you aware of what i think on that front).

all of the previously provided information brings me to my final part of this post: boycotting the games, and boycotting the show.

BOYCOTTING THE GAME AND SHOW

i could go on and on about why this is so crucial, but we would be here forever. however, i’m going to paste in what i wrote in this post surrounding the topic of boycotting, as i personally believe i got it down quite well in regards to the last of us (the show and game). it reads:

"DO NOT BUY TLOU, TLOU REMASTERED, TLOU2, TLOU2 REMASTERED, OR ANY GAME FROM ND! neil druckmann has donated money to the IDF in the past. & where do you think he’s getting his money from? yeah, you got that. watch gameplays, pirate these games, or buy them secondhand. several shops sell used games. & for those of you who went and purchased the game anyway, knowing about all of this? fuck you.

if you think your $10 doesn’t matter, then think about this: okay, one person spends $10 on the game. whatever. but when 100,000 people do it? that’s a million dollars, going into the hands of a zionist, who is using YOUR money to help kill innocent men, women, and children. put that in your pipe and smoke it.

it is not just the games you need to boycott. HBO’S show also needs to be. follow this link to learn of more movies and shows you need to boycott, & the reasons why, including the last of us. let’s also not forget that dina & abby’s actresses are in support of israel, and BELLA RAMSEY, ellie’s actress, has also shown support.

boycott. the fucking. show. there are a million websites where you can pirate it, so you are not giving any of your support to it. resist."

what it comes down to is this: purchasing the game or watching the show directly from nd or HBO is not a must. spreading awareness and speaking out about palestine is. you are more than capable of not purchasing the game, or watching playthroughs, or buying the game secondhand, etc. you are more than capable of pirating the hbo show so that money is not made off of your engagement. it's not that difficult. i have said it once, and i will say it again: boycotting is a form of resistance, and that is the least we can do for those suffering in gaza as you read this. resist. people openly admitting that they went and purchased the game anyway simply make me sick. i hope you know what an awful thing to brag about that is, and how despicable of a human it makes you.

CONCLUSION

there's so much to discuss when it comes down to this topic, and it's possible that in the future, i will make a second part to this. however, for now, i really hope this does suffice. i believe knowing of the game's israeli nature is a step. but knowing the specifics is a leap, one that i need everyone engaged in this fandom to take, hence why i wanted to make this post at all.

i'm not saying anyone needs to quit liking the games or the show or whatever. i'm not saying you need to delete or throw away a game you spent $60 on. i've seen so many people who are way too dense to understand that. what i'm saying is that it's crucial you are at least AWARE of the content you are consuming. aware of why it even came about at all.

in my opinion, you can't separate the game from the roots. but you can remain aware of the inner workings of this world you've grown to love. you can keep spreading awareness about it, and you can do right by the people in gaza by discussing the ongoing genocide, and using your voice as much as you can.

i'm so lucky to have been able to gain a following on here in such a short amount of time, even if that following has gone up and down because i've chosen to post more about palestine as opposed to my previous content (granted, that fact won't deter me at all). i will keep using said following to keep speaking out for the people in gaza, and i encourage you to do the same. keep reblogging. keep speaking up. keep using your voices. the people in gaza need us. be there for them.

FROM THE RIVER TO THE SEA, PALESTINE WILL BE FREE 🇵🇸🍉.

LINKS AND RESOURCES:

neil druckmann | the official the last of us podcast | the not so hidden israeli politics of the last of us 2, by emanuel maiberg (i highly recommend you read the full post. it discusses several crucial details i didn't discuss in this post) | galid shalit prisoner exchange | Neil Druckmann Speaking on the Washington Post | 2000 killing of two israeli soldiers (TW: LYNCHING) | 'The Last of Us Part II' Is a Grim and Bloody Spectacle, but a Poor Sequel | Veiling Colonial Violence: The Last of Us Part II, Israel and the Erasure of Power (full disclosure, i did not read the full post. i merely needed the quote in the very beginning of it) | zionism in tlou2 | isabela merced | kaitlyn dever | bella ramsey's support of israel

PALESTINE LINKS

—

#ellie williams #abby anderson #the last of us #the last of us 2 #tlou #tlou2 #ellie williams x reader #abby anderson x reader #the last of us remastered #the last of us 2 remastered #joel miller #joel miller x reader #ellie tlou #tlou ellie #abby tlou #tlou abby #joel tlou #tlou joel #palestine #gaza #free palestine #free gaza

[moraxrkive]

ƞsʄw ɑlpɦɑbet witɦ: ɱiƙɑsɑ

cw: this whole post is nsfw, so yeah... title is self-explanatory, lol. canon!universe, post-war mikasa, sapphic mikasa, female!reader, feeding kink (?) (not really confirmed, but it is mentioned so...). MINORS AND NON-WLW DNI. a/n: i'm not from the US, so i had to search how to convert bra sizes, so i'm sorry if it's wrong, i'm not used to this way of measuring chest.

A - AFTERCARE

mikasa is really good at aftercare, always making sure to take care of you with whatever you need: water, snacks, a massage, and even a bath. you name it, she does it. her personal favorite is massages: she loves both massaging you and receiving massages, she loves the contrast between the previous sexual touches and these softer ones.

B - BODY PART

i personally believe her favorite body part on herself is her arms. after years of fighting (not to mention her ability to carry those thunder spears), her arms are pretty big. she secretly loves that it’s so easy to swoop you directly into her arms, and how easy it is to just pick you up whenever she feels like it.

when it comes to you, her favorite body part of yours is your thighs. i can 100% see her being a thighs person. she loves them, she loves to kiss, bite and grab them. dare i say, she has wet dreams specifically about your thighs, but she’ll never admit it out loud. she’s obsessed.

C - CUM

our dear mikasa is a little shy when it comes to cumming. she doesn't like to cum on your face, even if you say 100x it's ok, she just doesn't feel like it. she feels as if it would make you dirty, and, to her, sex is something to make you feel good. she only cums either against your pussy or on your fingers (curiously, she doesn't complain if you make her suck your cum-stained fingers. huh)

D - DIRTY TALK

i'm sorry to the fans of dirty talk out there, but our dear mikasa is not a fan of it. like i said, she thinks sex is something to make you feel good, to make you feel loved. she's not wrong, of course. that's why she absolutely refuses to call you anything degrading. the maximum she can do is something along the lines of "you look cute when you're desperate". do not expect more from here.

E - EXPERIENCE

dear mikasa is not experienced. with all the stress and trauma from the war, eren's death and just the overwhelming discover of how the world really is (consequently, how her whole life was a lie), her libido was pratically nonexistent. pratically. once in a blue moon, she would engage in some private time for herself, touching herself silently in the dark of the night, but still a virgin. you were her first and, honestly, she hopes you'll also be her last.

F - FAVORITE POSITION

100% scissoring. she loves the eye contact you two make during it. to mikasa, intimacy and romance are the most important parts of sex, so expect her to be clingy during it. also expect a lot of eye contact, she loves looking at you, seeing that she's the one making you feel good.

G - GOOFY

not goofy at all. mikasa takes sex very seriously, it's a very important part of your relationship. but i can't deny if you made a joke or two, she would let out a chuckle. only a chuckle, though.

H - HAIR

canonically speaking, i think none of the women in aot shave lmao. they have better priorities honestly. therefore, expect mikasa to have a black bush of hairs down there. they're relativately thin, comparing to how most pubic hairs are, but still there.

I - INTIMACY

mikasa LOVES intimacy. after killing the boy she had been loving for years, she started to prioritize intimacy in her life and, of course, that means total investment in her relationship with you. even when it comes to things not sex-related, she just wants to feel your love and show you how much she loves you. mikasa is a woman with a heart full of love, and how lucky you are for being the one she loves.

J - JACK OFF

previously, she didn't have the habit, like i mentioned before. after you two started dating, and the terrors of the war started to wear off, tiny bit by tiny bit, mikasa allowed herself to feel sexual desire again. so she rediscovered masturbation, and she doesn't regret it: it allows her to discover new spots on her body that send shivers down her spine, and she's happy to share her discoveries with you.

K - KINK

i don't really think mikasa is a kinky person. that doesn't mean she's not open to try new things with you, though. one thing she discovered she likes, for example, is overstimulation. she likes to see you begging for her to let you cum. she likes to know she's the one in control of your pleasure.

another thing i believe mikasa enjoys a lot is mirror sex. you're the first woman she's ever been with, don't blame her for being curious! she likes to see her fingers going in and out of you. she also enjoys to see you eating her out in the mirror. (she also secretly likes to see herself lost in pleasure. it reminds her of how all the nightmare is over now, and she can lower her guard and indulge herself in this but, hey, you'll never see her admiting this out loud.)

L - LOCATION

sex is for the house and the house only. mikasa is against doing it in public, or in any circumstance that might get you two caught. your sexual lives are for your eyes only, mikasa prefers to die than let anyone see you in such an intimate state.

that doesn't mean some hands here and there don't happen. when she's in a particular good mood, she can give your ass a squeeze or two, but nothing beyond that.

M - MOTIVATION

mikasa is still rediscovering her libido and her sexuality, so that's why she doesn't really have a specific reason to have sex with you. sure, sometimes you might wear something sexy to tease her, or bend down a little too much near her, but most of the time... perhaps just your presence is enough to get her going. she just wants to be with you in the most intimate way possible, so give her some love, will you?

N - NO

mikasa will never degrade you nor be rough with you. her life has been filled with violence since her childhood, demanding aggressiveness from her to simply survive. ever since the end of the rumbling, mikasa promised to herself she would never be violent again, only if she deemed extremely necessary, and you are the last person in the whole world she ever wants to do something violent with.

O - ORAL

mikasa LOVES oral!!! both receiving and giving. she was a little bit intimated at first, not only because she was a virgin, but also because she was performing oral on another woman! she felt like she needed to know what to do, since she's also a woman, but you calmed her down and guided her. since then, mikasa got hooked.

when she's giving, she loves the way you squirm under her, it makes her feel proud of herself, since she's the one making you feel so good. she likes seeing you so relaxed and letting go.

when she's receiving, she likes to hold your hand. it's a reminder that you are the one making her feel good. it's also a reminder to herself, how she can allow herself to let go and break free from all the mental strains she has.

P - PACE

mikasa likes long-duration sex, so she's not rushing anything. dear mikasa takes her time taking off your clothes, kissing your body and caressing it. to her, you're a work of art, and she's glad she's the one who has the privilege to appreciate you with eyes, hands and mouth. you can bet she'll take her sweet time going through your body.

Q - QUICKIES

with that being said... she hates quickies. you two tried doing it once, and she hated it. she hated how rushed and messy it was, not to mention she didn't get to appreciate your body the way it deserves to be. so, no, mikasa doesn't tolerate quickies.

R - RISK

not taking any risk. mikasa is a very private and quiet person, but she's also very jealous. the mix of all these 3 traits are the reason you two won't do anything outside the house, not even on your backyard. sex belongs only inside the house, more specifically in your bed.

S - STAMINA

mikasa is an ex-soldier, you know she has stamina. even if the war has worn off of her and her belly is a little chubbier rather than the hard abs she had in the past, her stamina is still there. she can easily handle 4, maybe 5 rounds before she needs to stop to catch a breath, but, of course, if you can't handle all of those, she's not going to force you.

T - TOYS

toys are not her priority in the bedroom, but I can't see why she wouldn't enjoy them. you are the one who brings toys to sex, and she's not opposed to it. she likes seeing their different features, and also the different reactions they can get out of you.

she wouldn't be opposed to you using some toys on her, of course. just don't expect it to happen frequently.

U - UNFAIR

out of the two of you, you're the one who teases her honestly. 99% of the time, it's your doing, but that 1%... that 1% it's when mikasa is feeling really needy. it's when she puts on revealing clothes and bends down in front of you, making sure you can see her boobs perfectly. she also sits on your lap and innocently grinds against you.

she doesn't tease you often, but when she does... you're in for a long ride.

V - VOLUME

mikasa is pretty vocal in bed. she doesn't moan loudly, she's vocal in the meaning of always telling you that "you fell so good, love" or letting you know that you're doing something she's enjoying a lot. poor girl can't keep her mouth shut, she'll always be praising you, telling you how much she loves you and how good she feels.

W - WILD CARD

"m-mikasa..." you moan as you feel her featherlight touches on your neck, just the tip of her fingers. she purposely scratches your neck with her trimmed nails, just to see you shiver.

"shh, my love, take another one" she says, pushing a grape against your lips. she watches as your eyes get half lidded, taking the grape inside and grazing your teeth against the tip of her fingers.

mikasa has you sitting down on a chair. she's sitting on your lap, feeding you grapes. oh, and you're both naked. and she also has your hands tied behind your back.

"that's it... you're doing good, such a good girl for me" she whispers against your ear, kissing right under it, on that spot she knows it's so sensitive and makes you gasp and arch your body towards her.

you're breathless. you have no idea how long it has been since this little teasing game of hers began, all you know is how frustrated you feel right now. you can feel your neglected pussy aching between your legs, begging for attention.

you never took her as the type to have a feeding kink.

eh, maybe she doesn't even have it. maybe she's just in the mood to tease you.

"mika..." you whine once she puts another grape against your lips, silently demanding you to open them up. "p-please..." at this point, you don't even know what you're begging for. you just need her to do anything, anything at all.

"I know my love, I know" she kisses your neck "but you've been acting so good, you can handle more for me, can't you? you're my good girl, aren't you?"

just between us, you have no idea if you can handle more teasing, but hey, you'll never know if you never try.

X - X-RAY

mikasa has big breasts, easily 42C. she's very neutral about them, but you? oh, you make up for it. always buring your head on her chest and lapping at them. it makes her flustrered and shy but, hey, it's her fault for having such big boobs, right? how can you act normally when it looks like they are staring at you and begging you to suck them! as for her pussy, it's hairy, like i mentioned. it has a pretty pink color, lips not too big or too small, just the perfect size. her clit is on the bigger side, which makes things more interesting for the both of you, giving how easy it is to stimulate her.

Y - YEARNING

you two have a healthy sex life, and have sex surprisingly frequently. 3x a week, even 5x a week if one of you is feeling needy. the best thing is when both of you get needy at the same time: you'll have sex literally everyday. the only time things die down a little is when mikasa or you get a period. she used to be embarassed to have sex when she was on her period, saying "it's disgusting" or "i'll get the bed dirty". but, once you tried it, she saw how it soothed her cramps, and - since she was sensible - how the sensations were enhanced. so now, you two are not against having sex while on your periods anymore.

Z - ZZZ

our pretty girl falls asleep easily after sex lol. do not be fooled, she's not trying to avoid pillow talk (she loves them), her body is just asking her to find comfort in your cuddle. mikasa likes to fall asleep right after sex because she enjoys feeling the warmth of your body pressed against hers. she truly thinks your arms are her real home, and who are you to say they aren't?

#mikasa x reader #mikasa x y/n #mikasa x female reader #mikasa x you #mikasa ackerman #aot x reader #aot smut #aot x y/n #attack on titan x reader #mikasa smut

[notbadforafailedvessel]

Married Alcina/Reader

Summary: Kinda inspired by this and all those posts where reader is Alcina's teddy bear. Or, Alcina discovers that spending the night away from her partner it's not as easy as she imagined.

Tags: Fluff.

Gif Credit

Images Credit

You sighed, looking around your old room, which despite it had been so long since the last time you slept here, it was clean and tidy. Nothing else could be expected in the castle.

You understood your wife's request for tonight without making a fuss about it ─ the previous time she had extra things related to work and the village, she had been restless. You accepted that night she wouldn't take a break until she was done with what disturbed her but, selfishly, you asked her to work from your shared room and she relented.

Unintentionally, she had awoke you often during the night and even though you tried to reassure her that you didn't mind, you could see in her eyes the trouble it caused her whenever you tried to hold back a yawn or rub your eyes and you didn't want to be a reason to cause her more restlessness.

However, you implored her to work from the room again. At the very least, it would reassure you knowing that your wife was comfortably resting since you couldn't be near to take care of her.

Though it wouldn't stop the fact that you'd miss resting in her arms, lulled to sleep by her breathing and her tender caressing, cocooned warmly and safety in her embrace.

Which it's not surprising it took you a while to fall asleep.

Because with Alcina, once you finally decided to do it after exchanging some kisses or satiated your desire for each other, it was almost immediate. Alone... you had to read for a few hours, stared at nothing and rolled on the bed from side to side over and over again until you finally achieve it.

You didn't even notice what hour it was only that it happened after midnight.

What felt like minutes later, you were pulled out from your dreams by soft motion, as if your bed was moving. It took an effort to open your eyes and you managed to only half-open them, still drowsy that when you lifted your head to discover what was going on and you saw your wife, your first thought was that you were dreaming.

"Go back to sleep, iubi," Alcina whispered, kissing your hair.

Normally, you would obey instinctively, and your body was more than willing to do it since you closed your eyes and leaned against the woman's bosom, but when you were carefully laid on the bed (making a complaining sound from being pulled away from your favorite pillow), you fleetingly looked around, hoping to see the vanity (from where you have removed Alcina's things to make space for whatever she would use to work) vacant, pointing out your wife had finished her tasks but the vanity was full of papers, and not in the way she organized them when she was done with her duties.

So you were pleasantly surprised when seconds later, Alcina joined you in the bed, wrapping and arm around your waist, pulling you towards her, no leaving a gap between your bodies.

You closed your eyes, sighing contently when Alcina buried her nose in the crook of your neck, nuzzling the skin softly before peppering tender kisses.

"You missed me," you whispered after a moment, feeling a little bit more awake, enough to connect the dots.

Alcina didn't answer, and you knew she would wear a deadpanned expression if you faced her, a gesture she took whenever she didn't want to admit someone else was right. Her only response was to sink her teeth into your shoulder, menacingly, but that only made you chuckle.

"I missed you too. It took me hours to fall asleep."

Alcina huffed. "From now on, whenever I have extra work, you'll help me deal with it to avoid this nonsense."

You bit your lower lip to stop yourself from laughing. Of course she would make it sound like this had been your idea without blaming you directly.

You turned without breaking her embrace, looking up to find her frowning displeased but when she looked down, her expression softened in an instant, making your heart melt at the look she was giving you.

Lifting a hand, you caressed her cheek with the back of your fingers. "Of course, my Lady."

Alcina smirked, kissing your forehead as if she was rewarding you and then your lips, smiling against them when your heartbeat sped up at the contact and you clenched her nightgown.

"Sleep, iubi," she reminded you, kissing your forehead once again, resting her chin on your head and bringing you closer as she closed her eyes, her arm covering your entire back.

You closed yours with a smile on your lips, nestling against her breasts and wrapping your arm around her waist.

You'd never say anything to her, knowing she wouldn't appreciate her neediness for you to be the center of attention ─ after all, she had other ways to let the world know how special you were to her without losing her intimidating dominance ─ but you loved to be the only one who was lucky enough to witness this side of her.

And you wouldn't have it any other way ─ every single day you'd happily choose the angry dragon that had no mercy, the woman who was capable to make the strongest cower with just one look, the soft kitten who purred contentedly when she had you in her arms. All of them holding you close to her, as if you were her comforting teddy bear with whom she couldn't find ease if you weren't next to her.

#alcina dimitrescu #lady dimitrescu #alcina dimitrescu x reader #lady dimitrescu x reader #resident evil 8 #resident evil franchise #hd.txt #hdad.txt #txt: ad #trying to write fics again... no matter how short

[brokenjere]

bad in the bones (c.f) (part 9)

a/n: hey all!! I’m super excited to have this next part out. I know it’s been forever since I’ve posted anything but I have been working on a lot of things outside of this platform that I hope to share with you all at some point. Please let me know what you think!! I miss talking to you all <3

It was fun seeing Conrad in secret. There were stolen kisses in the backyard when no one was around and knocks on the wall that separated us that always seemed to come when I couldn’t sleep. He could read my mind, I think. Always hearing me think about him. I’d sneak out my room and tap on his door and he opened it so quickly it was like his hand was on the doorknob waiting for me. 

He’d grab my hand and lock the door behind me and sometimes, I’d wake up with the birds chirping the next morning and have to sneak back to my room but sometimes we stayed awake as long as possible like we needed to savor every second of this. One night, I laid on my back starring up at his ceiling and he strummed on his guitar almost too quietly and I leaned over on my side, propped myself up on my elbow and Conrad was already staring at me. “What?” He whispered with a smile. 

“Stop,” I told him. His hands ceased to play and he moved the guitar off of his lap. He put his palms down on the bed on either side of me and crawled on top of my body, forcing me down onto my back again. His eyes were too brown, his hair too floppy, and his smile so perfect I couldn’t stand it any longer so I kissed him. 

My fingers found the hair on the back of his neck and he leaned into me, pressing his hips against mine. Sometimes things got steamy like this: our bodies pressed too firmly together until we were just a pile of sweat, saliva, and heavy breathing. I’ve stopped him every time not because I didn’t want to but because I haven’t had sex with anyone except for Josh and the idea of that happening was almost too much for me to think about. Especially in moments like this were I was too flustered to think straight. I stopped him every time except for last night. 

Tonight, I let his hands linger under my shirt for a little longer than normal and when he looked up at me to make sure I was okay, where I usually shake my head no, I nodded my head yes. Our clothes were off and our bodies were sweaty and everything was quiet except for his breathing in my ear. 

I laid next to him with his blanket wrapped around my naked body and I didn’t speak until he turned his head to look at me. “Are you okay?” He sounded guilty and that made me feel guilty and I nodded my head. It was the truth. I was okay. “Do you regret that?” He asked again and this time I shook my head. I didn’t. 

“Did you know people burn 3 and a half calories a minute on average during sex?” I asked, looking over at him. His cheeks were flushed and he smiled and then he kissed me. I leaned into him and kissed him back. “I should go back to my room,” I whispered against his lips. He nodded in agreement and then I got dressed and returned to my room. 

I didn’t sleep at all which is probably directly related to the bags under my eyes that Laurel is packing concealer on right now. “I never noticed how bad they were,” she whispered as she applied more. 

“It doesn’t need to be perfect,” I mumble to her. She gives me a look and I don’t look at her. “I don’t even want to go to this, you know that.”

“Yea, well, Belly is really excited so why don’t you just be happy for her?” 

“I am happy for her,” I lie. Laurel doesn’t reply, just adds blush to my cheeks. “Just don’t make her wear a fascinator, okay?” I look at her through my lashes and she smiles at my joke and the air in the room relaxes. 

“She’s not wearing a fascinator,” she assures me. I nod and Laurel fluffs out my hair. “It’s time to go.” 

Seeing Conrad in a suit is more shocking than I anticipated. I’m so used to his disheveled, salt-air hair and swim trunks that seeing him all put together is making me feel things I wasn’t prepared for. He eyes me from the steps of the country club, careful not to look for too long but I smile and wave at him as we walk up. 

Susannah is on Conrad’s arm and she smiles as Laurel and I approach. “There you guys are!” She exclaims like she has been waiting for us forever. She arrived earlier with Belly to help set up. “You look beautiful,” she tells me as I approach, squeezing my arm gently. 

“Look at us,” she says, looking at all of us standing together. She pauses and her eyes begin to water. “It’s perfect.”

“Mom, you’re not going to cry, are you?” Jeremiah asks from next to me. He and Steven have their suits hauled over their shoulders, waiting to go inside and finish getting ready. 

“What and ruin my makeup? No way,” she says and gives her son a smile. “Everything is going to be different next year. Conrad’s going off to college,” she says, bumping her shoulder into Conrad. He gives her a shy grin. “It might be the last summer we’re all together.” The group gets quiet for a moment. It feels like no one is breathing.

“Just don’t forget, I get to dance with you tonight,” Jeremiah says, breaking the tension like he doesn’t know it’s there but I swear I can see Conrad’s muscles tighten. 

Jeremiah hands his suit to Steven as he grabs Susannah’s hand, twirling her around and dipping her like I’m sure he has practiced many times over this last summer. When he returns her upright, her hand goes to her head and she stumbles, losing her footing. “Mom, are you okay?” Jeremiah asks, steadying her. We all reach out for her like she could break at any moment but Conrad grabs her elbow first, putting her back on his arm. 

“It’s been so long since I’ve danced, I must be out of practice,” she says, waving it off and wrapping her arm back around Conrad’s. 

“We should go inside,” he suggests. Susannah nods and he leads her inside. The rest of us hesitate for a moment but then we all follow Laurel’s lead and head inside too. When we reach our table, Conrad helps Susannah into her seat and then pulls out one with my name on the placemat. “For you,” he whispers quietly, giving me a look only I can decipher. I slide into my seat and as he pushes me in, he leans forward. I can feel his breath on my ear. “You look perfect.” 

Before I can reply, he’s sliding into the seat next to mine. Conrad’s hand finds my thigh under the table. We’re touching but it’s a secret, just the way I like it. We’re sitting around a decorated table - a pretty candle burning right in the center of our perfect china plates. They’re almost too pretty to put food on, but there’s a caterer walking around offering people appetizers and we can’t help but take some.

When the announcements start, we wait for Belly’s. Girl after girl descend down the steps in fluffy white dresses and tiaras on their head with men on their arms. I see her poking her head out from behind the curtian. I can tell she’s nervous even from over here. “Isabelle Conklin. Daughter of John Conklin and Laurel Park,” she starts as Belly and Jeremiah meet in the center of the stage and descend down the stairs. I can’t help but notice how her eyes find Conrad’s, despite having his brother on her arm. I look over at Conrad and he’s focused but I can’t tell on who. They bow and present themselves to our table. Laurel gives Belly a thumbs up and I look down at my lap. 

Conrad’s hand is still on my thigh and he squeezes it. I look up at him and he’s looking at me with furrowed brows. He mouths the words what’s wrong and I shake my head. He holds his hand out palm up and I put mine in it gratefully. Belly and Jeremiah present themselves in front of our table. Belly does a curtsey and Jeremiah bows and they’re both smiling way too big but I give her a thumbs up because she is beautiful. She’s not looking at me, though, she’s looking at Conrad and it makes my chest tighten. I had spent the last few days hiding, avoiding Belly at all costs because I can’t look her in the eyes anymore. Not when all I can think about is Conrad’s voice in my ears, his hands on my skin, and his lips on mine. She sits down next to me for breakfast and all I can think about is if his cologne is still lingering on my clothes from the night before and even as she’s chatting and laughing over her cereal bowl, I’m watching the doorway for him. Even right now, as she stares at him, my hand squeezes a little bit tighter on his and I feel guilty.  

I turn to him and whisper in his ear, not caring who is watching and say, “can we get out of here?” I pull back to watch for his reaction and he nods. When all the debs are dismissed, I slide out of my chair excusing myself from the table. The hallway is all too quiet compared to the ballroom and I lean against the bathroom door and wait for him. The door creaks open and when I finally see him, it’s like I can breathe again. “You’re going to get us in trouble if we skip this thing, you know,” he laughs as his hands grab my waist and pull me to him. I wrap my arms around his neck and shrug, kissing his cheek. 

“The classical music is rotting my brain,” I tease. 

“Didn’t you used to play classical music?” He asks. I move my fingers, tapping my fingertips against his back as if I’m playing the piano. 

“Rotted my brain then, too.” When Conrad smiles, I think my heart stops and I kiss him. He presses his body closer to mine, pressing my back against the door. I pull away from him, kissing his cheek once more. “Want to go outside? By the pool?” 

“We really shouldn’t miss any more of this,” he says. I can feel his heart beating in his chest and his resistance despite the certainty in his voice. “This really means a lot to my mom.” 

“You did it last year, right? It’s Jeremiah’s turn, she won’t even notice.” I push against him, making his grip on me tighter and his smile gets a little bigger as he considers it. “Come on,” I beg, fluttering my lashes at him for just a moment before his lips crash against mine and my feet are off the ground. 

Conrad carries me down the rest of the hall and out the door to the pool. It’s dark out, the only lights are reflecting on the pool but it’s quiet. Conrad lays me down on the lounge chair, making sure my dress doesn’t drag on the ground and he props himself up next to me. “Isn’t it peaceful out here?” I ask after a long moment of silence. 

“You hate the water,” he reminds me. 

“I like the sound,” I say. “Being by the water with you is the only time I don’t feel crippled with guilt.” Conrad’s breathing hitches and I feel him freeze next to me. “Don’t do that,” I whisper and shake my head. 

“Do what?” 

“Tense up like that. Like I said something wrong.” 

“I just don’t want you to feel that way,” he says. His nose brushes against my cheek, moving away stray hairs that fell into my face. He kisses my jawline and leans his forehead against my temple. “I want you to be happy.” 

“I am happy,” I tell him. “That’s why I feel this way. Belly loves you.” 

“And I love you.” His voice is so quiet I barely hear him but then he says it again. And again. “I love you. I love you. I love you,” he repeats over and over again until I shut him up with my mouth and pull him on top of me. He mutters those three words as he kisses me. “You can say it back, you know,” he says, out of breath but smiling. 

“I love you, too,” I tell him. “And I love her and I can’t hurt her.” Conrad’s knuckles brush against my cheek once before he rolls off of me and stands up. “What are you doing?” 

“Just stand up,” he says, holding his hand out to me. I take it and he pulls me up next to him. He traces my wrist and up my forearm and back down to my fingers before taking my hand into his. “We have the rest of the summer,” he says. “And then, we tell her. You tell her.” I nod, not fully convinced. “I know you’ll be scared. I know you’ll try and back out and that’s okay. But you just have to jump sometimes, right?” I look over at the water as he talks. Sometimes you just have to jump. 

“Right,” I mumble. I take a step toward the edge of the pool and hoist my dress up exposing my feet. I use Conrad’s hand to steady myself as I step out of my heels and I dip my toes into the water. “Sometimes you just have to jump.” 

“Not into the water, you fool,” Conrad laughs, trying to pull me away from the pool but I don’t budge. I dip my foot into the water further, repeating his words in my mind. “What are you doing?”

“I’m afraid of a lot of things,” I say. “Which is weird because my whole life has been about trying new things but I’m afraid of a lot of things. Meeting new people, change, bugs, mostly spiders but all bugs, really. And the water.” I pull my foot out of the water and try to catch my breath. “I’m afraid of hurting Belly and I’m afraid to love you but there’s only one thing on that list that I can change.” 

I can feel Conrad watching my every move, holding onto my hand like I might break at any moment. “Yeah, I’m sure I could find some bugs somewhere around here,” he says carefully. I can’t help but laugh. I shake my head and turn around, my back facing the water and I can see his chest deflate, relief washing over his face. 

“I’m not talking about the bugs,” I say, yanking his hand so he stumbles forward and I’m falling backward and it all feels like it’s happening in slow motion until we crash into the water. My arms are flailing, trying to gain traction in the water and my lungs feel like they’re on fire, and for a moment, I feel free. But then the panic sets in and my hands are grasping at nothing and I think I’m drowning but then he wraps his arm around my waist and he brings me to the surface and when I can finally breathe again, I start to laugh. 

“You’re fucking crazy,” he says, trying to catch his breath. “Why are you laughing? We have to go back in there and we’re soaked!” I can see the amusement in his eyes and I know he’s not mad because when I kiss him, he kisses me back. 

taglist: @marajillana@liltimmyst@angelayse@nani-2305@drikawinchester@28cnn@nyenye@isthlsfate@spacefruitsblog@laceandsuch @peotego @hallecarey1

#conrad fisher #tsitp #the summer i turned pretty #tsitp imagine #conrad fisher x reader #jeremiah fisher #jeremiah fisher fan fic #gavin casalegno #conrad fisher imagine #christopher briney

[homeb0ys]

So, last night Antony Starr shared this on his IG story:

What does this mean? It’s anyone’s guess. Given what he’s shared to his stories recently, I think he’s been going through a really tough time lately. And the whole Mortal Kombat mess didn’t exactly help.

To clarify: Antony made a post on Saturday sharing pictures of him with his dogs. A fan commented asking if he would be voicing Homelander in MK1, to which he simply replied “nope.”

Of course, it’s now all over twitter with tons of news articles about it much to the anger and disappointment of fans. Not only that, but tweeting him directly about it.

I’m not saying this post to his story is in relation to the MK thing, but it does go to show that fans can be the best and worst part of a fandom. There’s still time where he could be brought in to do the voice work, the strikes are now over and the Homelander DLC doesn’t drop till March. We also don’t know the circumstances. He might not even have been asked to do the voice. We simply don’t know, but attacking Antony directly won’t achieve anything. He could also be under a NDA.

There’s now concern over his story post as it just reads like he’s at his wits end with the world, everyone and everything, and I truly don’t blame him. Aren’t we all?

Please, please, please take this as a reminder to be respectful towards actors. We don’t know them and they don’t know us. They aren’t our friends, they don’t owe us anything. And even if it seems like they’re living the good life with fame and fortune, they’re still human just like us. Attacking actors because we don’t get our way does NOT help.

And as an added reminder: Antony wasn’t paid for his Gen V Cameo. He attended set and filmed on his days off. He did it for the fans, as did Karl Urban.

Now again, to clarify: I’m not saying it’s because of fans that Antony made this story post. My point is that attacking him with question after question as to why he isn’t “giving us what we want”, isn’t helping.

I truly hope he’ll be okay and has folk around him to support him. But it sounds like the poor guy just needs his space, and we need to respect and give him that.

To anyone else feeling this way, sending tons of love and hugs your way. Please know you aren’t alone, and if you need to talk to someone, I’m here. As is my Homelander ( @hom3land3r ). While I am in no way a professional, I can absolutely lend an ear. And if Homelander gives you comfort, he’ll also be there for those that need it.

Love you guys.

Be kind. 🫂💙

#antony starr #homelander #long post

[sayitaliano]

Sanremo 2024 - the post!

Hello everyone! Here you’ll find this year’s Sanremo’s stuff and news (I’ll be uploading this post through all the week). The Festival will start on Tuesday February 6th at 8:30 pm (it’ll probably have a 5 minutes “anteprima = preview” every night), and end on Saturday February 10th, when the final will be broadcasted.

/ Official website / you can find loads of videos and interviews here + the latest news. You can already find the presentation videos of the songs made by the artists.

Rai’s website dedicated section (here) | youtube playlist | spotify playlist

TikTok official channel: @/sanremorai; @/sanremoesc Instagram official: @/sanremorai Twitter official: @/SanremoRAI; @/SanremoESC Facebook: festivaldisanremo

Also this year we’ll have the PrimaFestival, the small show broadcasted on Rai1 at around 8:30 p.m. (February 4th - February 10th). The hosts are Paola & Chiara (singers), Mattia Stanga and Daniele Cabras (tiktokers).

There's gonna be some kind of Dopofestival, with Fiorello and Alessia Marcuzzi (tv/radio host) called “Viva Rai2!… Viva Sanremo” (jingle/sigla) right after the end of each Sanremo's night (6th-9th Feb.). Gli Autogol (comedians soccer-related) will complete some missions for Amadeus on Raiplay.

CasaSanremo- A website about Sanremo and all the artists who will take part, with more infos and interviews (also Italian places and food specialties will be shown). Follow them also on their Social Media Channels, usually they make live video/interviews/shows on FB for example.

On Sorrisi&Canzoni you will find also other infos about Sanremo and every lyrics’s explanation (ofc ask me if you need a translation)

The # on this blog is #sanremo 2024, #sanremo, #sanremo2024 you can black any of these (the first one in particular) if you want.

To watch it live:

Raiuno -> just click on the first video on the left, or here, to open the Raiuno streaming immediately (I added the whole Rai channels things in case you had troubles connecting directly and wanted to try from there). The RAI’s geoblock is usually removed for Sanremo’s week, no need to create accounts or whatsoever to enjoy Sanremo online!! Remember you can rewatch the whole event and each performance on Raiplay few minutes after it has happened (and the whole week will be avaiable as well for basically the whole following year).

FESTIVAL LIS - songs and whole exhibition explained in signs language

FANTASANREMO - this year as well you can play while enjoying your Sanremo! How does it work? Every person “buys” 5 artisti and marks one of them as a captain. As in the last years, artists will have to do or say something while on stage to help you gain points (and also classification will have a say).

I’ll try to write down some more infos/links through the week.

——-

Hosts & Guests + Other Stuff

This years’ host will still be Amadeus (who choose the songs taking part into this Sanremo), a TV and radio host. He will be accompanied by a different co-host each night: Marco Mengoni (singer; first night); Giorgia (singer; second night); Teresa Mannino (actress, comedian; third night); Lorella Cuccarini (actress, tv host, dancer, dance teacher in AMICI tv show; fourth night); Fiorello (tv and radio host, comedian, singer; last night).

Some of the one-night guests during the week will be: John Travolta (actor, dancer); Giovanni Allevi (musician); Marco Mengoni (singer); Sabrina Ferilli (actress); Giorgia (singer) will celebrate her song "E poi"'s 30th anniversary; Russel Crowe (actor, singer); Eros Ramazzotti (singer) will celebrate his song "Una terra promessa"'s 40th anniversary; Roberto Bolle (dancer); the cast of "Mameli" (new serie about the guy who wrote our National anthem); Leo Gassman (actor, singer); the cast of "Il Mare fuori" (Raiplay serie); The Nuova Orchestra Santa Balera to celebrate "Romagna Mia"'s 70th anniversary; Gigliola Cinquetti (singer) will celebrate her song "Non ho l'età"'s 60th anniversary.

How it works

There will be 30 singers in the ARTISTI (artists) section. It will be the only section, as last year. 27 artists were chosen by Amadeus, while the other 3 are the winners of Sanremo Giovani (held in December 2023). The winner of the competition will represent Italy at the Eurovision Song Contest: if he/she/they won’t accept, the choice will be another artist, usually the 2nd classified or the next (the first one accepting). This year we're gonna listen to all the 30 songs on the first night. The 2nd and 3rd night, we'll get to listen to 15 songs each night. The artisti that are not performing during the 2nd night will introduce the performing ones and vice versa on the 3rd night. The artisti introducing the performing artisti will be decided by a public draw during the Sanremo's press conferences on the 2nd and 3rd day. On the 4th night, there will be the usual “covers” night: the artisti this year can choose any song, national or international, from any year (until December 2023) and by anyone (even themselves).

Day 1 - co-hosts: Marco Mengoni Prob. guests: Marco Mengoni; Zlatan Ibrahimovic; Federica Brignone; omaggio a Toto Cutugno; Banda dei Carabinieri + on the Costa Cruise: Tedua and in the square: Lazza We’ll listen to all the 30 songs (in order of performance: Clara, Sangiovanni, Fiorella Mannoia, La Sad, Irama, Ghali, Negramaro, annalisa, Mahmood, Diodato, Loredana Bertè, Geolier, Alessandra Amoroso, The Kolors, Angelina Mango, Il Volo, BigMama, Ricchie Poveri, Emma, RengaNek, Mr. Rain, Bnkr44, Gazzelle, Dargen D'Amico, Rose Villain, Santi Francesi, Fred De Palma, Maninni, Alfa, Il Tre). We'll have a first top5 rank (the whole list will be presented only Saturday):

Day 2 - co-hosts: Giorgia Prob. guests: the non-performing 15 artists; Giovanni Allevi; Giorgia; John Travolta; Nuova Orchestra Santa Balera; Leo Gassman; Cast "Mare fuori"; Ruggero del Vecchio + on the Costra Cruise: Bob Sinclair and in the square: Rosa Chemical We'll listen to 15 artisti (artist presenting -> artist singing in order of appearance: ghali -> fred de palma; la sad -> renganek; mr.rain -> alfa; diodato -> dargen d'amico; rose villain -> il volo; bnkr44 -> gazzelle; santi francesi -> emma; alessandra amoroso -> mahmood; il tre -> bigmama; angelina mango -> the kolors; fiorella mannoia -> geolier; sangiovanni -> loredana bertè; mannini -> annalisa; ricchi e poveri -> irama; negramaro -> clara) We’ll have an updated rank:

Day 3 - co-hosts: Teresa Mannino Prob. guests: the non-performing 15 artists; Russel Crowe and his band; Eros Ramazzotti; Sabrina Ferilli; coro Arena di Verona; Gianni Morandi; Stefano Massini e Paolo Jannacci + on the Costa Cruise: Bresh and in the square: Paola & Chiara The 15 artisti that didn't perform yesterday will perform their entry to the contest (artist presenting -> artist singing in order of appearance: loredana bertè -> il tre; alfa -> maninni; fred de palma -> bnkr44; clara -> santi francesi; il volo -> mr rain; gazzelle -> rose villain; dargen d'amico -> alessandra amoroso; bigmama -> ricchi e poveri; irama -> angelina mango; the kolors -> diodato; mahmood -> ghali; emma -> negramaro; annalisa -> fiorella mannoia; renganek -> sangiovanni; geolier -> la sad) Classification after tonight:

Day 4 - co-hosts: Lorella Cuccarini Prob. guests: Cast "Mameli"; principe Alberto di Monaco; Pecco Bagnaia; Elena Sofia Ricci e Margherita Buy; i Jalisse; il maestro Beppe Vessicchio + on the Costa Cruise: Gigi D'Agostino and in the square: Arisa The 30 artists will present a song’s cover, each of them will perform together with a guest or more, unless they're already a band/group and will decide otherwise.

Covers’ list (in order of appearance):

Sangiovanni con Aitana - Medley di "Farfalle" e "Mariposas" (Sangiovanni)

Annalisa con La Rappresentante di Lista e il coro Artemia - "Sweet dreams (Are made of this)" (Eurythmics)

Rose Villain con Gianna Nannini - Medley

Gazzelle con Fulminacci - "Notte prima degli esami" (Antonello Venditti)

The Kolors con Umberto Tozzi - Medley dei successi di Umberto Tozzi

Alfa con Roberto Vecchioni - "Sogna ragazzo sogna" (Roberto Vecchioni)

Bnkr44 con Pino D'Angiò - "Ma quale idea" (Pino D'Angiò)

Irama con Riccardo Cocciante - "Quando finisce un amore" (Riccardo Cocciante)

Fiorella Mannoia con Francesco Gabbani - "Che sia benedetta" (Fiorella Mannoia -Saremo 2017) e "Occidentali's karma" (Francesco Gabbani -Sanremo 2017)

Santi Francesi con Skin - "Hallelujah" (Leonard Cohen)

Ricchi e Poveri con Paola & Chiara - Medley di "Sarà perché ti amo" e "Mamma Maria" (Ricchi e Poveri)

Ghali con Ratchopper - Medley dal titolo "Italiano vero"

Clara con Ivana Spagna e il Coro di voci bianche del Teatro Regio di Torino - "Il cerchio della vita" (Ivana Spagna -Lion King's ST)

Loredana Bertè con Venerus - "Ragazzo mio" (Luigi Tenco con l'arrangiamento di Ivano Fossati)

Geolier con Guè, Luchè e Gigi D'Alessio - Medley dal titolo "Strade"

Angelina Mango con il quartetto d'archi dell'orchestra di Roma - "La rondine" (Mango)

Alessandra Amoroso con i BoomDaBash - Medley

Dargen D'Amico con BabelNova Orchestra - Omaggio a Ennio Morricone: “Modigliani” (sulle note di The Crisis)

Mahmood con i Tenores di Bitti - "Come è profondo il mare" (Lucio Dalla)

Mr.Rain con i Gemelli Diversi - "Mary" (Gemelli Diversi)

Negramaro con Malika Ayane - "La canzone del sole" (Lucio Battisti)

Emma con Bresh - Medley di Tiziano Ferro

Il Volo con Stef Burns - "Who wants to live forever" (Queen)

Diodato con Jack Savoretti - "Amore che vieni, amore che vai" (Fabrizio De André)

La Sad con Donatella Rettore - "Lamette" (Donatella Rettore)

Il Tre con Fabrizio Moro - Medley di Fabrizio Moro

BigMama con Gaia, La Niña e Sissi - "Lady Marmalade" (Labelle)

Maninni con Ermal Meta - "Non mi avete fatto niente" (Ermal Meta, Fabrizio Moro -Saremo 2018)

Fred De Palma con gli Eiffel 65 - Medley degli Eiffel 65

Renga Nek - Medley dei loro successi

Top 5 covers (all the other entries are considered as 6th):

We’ll also have a new general rank.

Day 5 - co-hosts: Fiorello Prob. guests: Roberto Bolle (dancer); Gigliola Cinquetti; Luca Argentero, Claudio Gioè (actors-Màkari 3) + on the Costa Cruise: Tedua and in the square: Tananai All the 30 artisti will perform again their songs (in order of appearance: renganek, bigmama, gazzelle, dargen d'amico, il volo, loredana bertè, negramaro, mahmood, santi francesi, diodato, fiorella mannoia, alessandra amoroso, alfa, irama, ghali, annalisa, angelina mango, geolier, emma, il tre, ricchi e poveri, the kolors, maninni, la sad, mr.rain, fred de palma, sangiovanni, clara, bnkr44, rose villain) and after midnight (prob. more like 1:30-2:30 am.) we’ll know the competition’s first 5 classified and all the special awards winners. The first 5 classified will perform again and get new votes to decide the final standings. The winner will go to the #ESC2024.

And the winner is: Angelina Mango!

Final standing:

Angelina Mango - "La noia"

Geolier - "I p' me tu p' te"

Annalisa - "Sinceramente"

Ghali - "Casa mia"

Irama - "Tu no"

Mahmood - "Tuta gold"

Loredana Bertè - "Pazza"

Il Volo - "Capolavoro"

Alessandra Amoroso - "Fino a qui"

Alfa - "Vai!"

Gazzelle - "Tutto qui"

Il Tre - "Fragili"

Diodato - "Ti muovi"

Emma - "Apnea"

Fiorella Mannoia - "Mariposa"

The Kolors - "Un ragazzo una ragazza"

Mr.Rain - "Due altalene"

Santi Francesi - "L'amore in bocca"

Negramaro - "Ricominciamo tutto"

Dargen D'Amico - "Onda alta"

Ricchi e Poveri - "Ma non tutta la vita"

BigMama - "La rabbia non ti basta"

Rose Villain - "Click boom!"

Clara - "Diamanti grezzi"

Renga Nek - "Pazzo di te"

Maninni - "Spettacolare"

La Sad - "Autodistruttivo"

Bnkr44 - "Governo punk"

Sangiovanni - "Finiscimi"

Fred De Palma - "Il cielo non ci vuole"

ANGELINA MANGO will take part at the ESC 2024! Other Awards: - Premio della critica “Mia Martini” : Loredana Bertè "Pazza" - Premio della sala stampa “Lucio Dalla” : Angelina Mango "La noia" - Premio miglior testo “Sergio Bardotti” : Fiorella Mannoia "Mariposa" - Premio miglior composizione musicale “Giancarlo Bigazzi” : Angelina Mango "La noia"

————————

Artists (+ lyrics):

Alessandra Amoroso - "Fino a qui"

Alfa - "Vai!"

Angelina Mango - "La noia"

Annalisa - "Sinceramente"

BigMama - "La rabbia non ti basta"

Bnkr44 - "Governo Punk"

Clara - "Diamanti grezzi"

Dargen D'Amico - "Onda alta"

Diodato - "Ti muovi"

Emma - "Apnea"

Fiorella Mannoia - "Mariposa"

Fred De Palma - "Il cielo non ci vuole"

Gazzelle - "Tutto qui"

Geolier - "I p' me, tu p' te"

Ghali - "Casa mia"

Il Tre - "Fragili"

Il Volo - "Capolavoro"

Irama - "Tu no"

La Sad - "Autodistruttivo"

Loredana Berté - "Pazza"

Mahmood - "Tuta gold"

Maninni - "Spettacolare"

Mr.Rain - "Due altalene"

Negramaro - "Ricominciamo tutto"

Renga e Nek - "Pazzo di te"

Ricchi e Poveri - "Ma non tutta la vita"

Rose Villain - "Click boom!"

Sangiovanni - "Finiscimi"

Santi Francesi - "L'amore in bocca"

The Kolors - "Un ragazzo una ragazza"

[all the lyrics can be found on this page]

(will edit with more updates, corrections and links as we get closer to the event)

#sanremo #sanremo2024 #sanremo 2024 #it #italiano #italian #langblr #italian language #italian langblr #languages #italian music #italian culture #italian things #italian tv #musica italiana #music #musica #italian stuff #lingua italiana

[nevernonline]

✧.* grow as we go; svt smau.

entry #02 the case of the cyberbully.

synopsis: over the past ten years you've fallen in love many times. one day someone happens to stumble across your journal sitting out on your nightstand and started posting your entries online. after all of your secrets are leaked it's clear things would ever be the same again.

𐦍 paring: svt members x afab! reader.

𐦍 feat: non-idol! svt, (g)-idle minnie&soyeon, oc's

𐦍 genre/s: reader is super angsty low-key, fluffy, sexual themes.

𐦍 content: swearing, bullying, crazy ex's, mentions of sexual relations, some drinking& mary jane 🍃

masterlist ▸ 001. super sleuths ▸ 003: two robots fell in love.

“Y/N Mingyu’s here we gotta go.” 

"I'm coming, one second."

Minnie was yelling from the front door of your shared apartment, waiting for you, who always seems to be late everywhere you go. Somehow this time you had been ready for hours, but you just felt that your feet sunk into your floor like quicksand not wanting to acknowledge the reason for hanging out with Mingyu’s crop of friends. Suddenly a small knock came on your door. 

“Hey, it’s me. Minnie told me you haven’t left your room in hours. Everything okay?” 

You finally removed yourself from the comfort of your room and opened the door, finding Mingyu standing on the other side. 

Without words your arms laced around his body and you held him tightly. 

“Yeah, it is now.” 

You wish you could recall the things you wrote in your journal about meeting him for the first time in college, you both volunteered to help plan a homecoming event for the student council. His shoulders weren’t so broad as they are now, but his smile was exactly the same. Some part of you felt that you had fallen in love with him at first sight, maybe lust. That night was made better because of him, just like it is now. Some strange feeling of home filled inside of you when he’s around. 

“Let’s go okay? They’re all waiting for you.” 

Minnie was sitting on the step outside the front door of your apartment waiting for the two of you to finish whatever you were doing. 

“Mingyu, can you drop me off at Cheol’s on the way home? He was going to come join, but he had a last minute client.” 

“Of course, Princess. So by the way are any of you going to tell me why I am chauffeuring you to Wonwoo’s and why we are having a meeting.” 

“Well.” 

Minnie’s face turned around from the front seat to check if its a good time to give him the rundown to which you just nodded. 

“So, it’s kind of interesting actually. Someone took y/n’s journal and is exposing her online, we don’t know which of our friends did it, but we have some sort of an idea of who it was. I got the idea from Seungcheol or Soyeon to ask Minghao if he could help. Luckily this person has only posted once and it was something from ten years ago that she wrote about Joshua. We’re just trying to figure out a way of knowing who it is before we ask any of them directly.” 

“Wait, someone took your journal? Why the fuck does anyone care about what you write in your journal.” 

“We don’t know, but your super sleuth friends do.” 

Pacing around Wonwoo’s living room as you explain the situation about the journal, was starting to make you feel dizzy. For some reason you just couldn’t sit down. It’s been roughly an hour since you’d gotten here and acquainted yourself with the men you had only met before in passing. Somehow you felt like you’d known them longer, the sense of genuine concern for your now exposed life from semi-strangers was nice, but it left a bad taste in your mouth. 

“Guys, they posted again.” 

Vernon’s voice came from behind his laptop screen. 

“Want me to read this one?” 

With a nod and a couple of yesses from your new friends you finally sat down. Minnie’s hand came into yours waiting as patently as you before he started reading outloud. 

“Okay, so this one is dated April 25th, no year, but I’m assuming its following the previous post in chronological order.” 

“God, please read it.” 

Your voice escaped your lips a little harsher than you wanted, but Vernon smiled as if he knew why. 

“I’m so ready for highschool to be fucking over. Isn’t it a little cliche for the mean girls trope to be real? I have so little energy left inside of me to waste on patience. And what? I’m supposed to be nice a fuck to a girl who cyberbullies me, but pussies out saying this shit to my face?” 

“God.” 

Wonwoo’s voice this time, he was sitting to Minnie’s right engaged in what Vernon was reading out loud. The god wasn’t that he couldn’t believe your words, he didn’t want to believe those things happened to you. 

“There’s more, should I keep going?” 

“Please, yeah.” 

“Okay. I really thought Mimi wanted to be my friend, but posting a semi-naked photo of me on fucking Facebook? Who fucking uses facebook? Of course she does, of course she writes love letters, uses facebook, and never leaves the house in her sweatpants. I’ve tried so fucking hard to be nice to her just for everyone else’s sake but I can’t do it anymore. Isn’t it just a little bizarre believing a girl you’ve known for less than a year over a girl you’ve known your entire life?” 

You felt yourself crying now, not with sadness but with rage. A reminder of those years she dated Joshua and caused a riff between your friends, all because she was jealous. 

“Y/n? Are you alright? I can stop reading if you want.” 

“No, it's fine. Just finish and we can talk after, okay?” 

You felt all eyes on you now, strangers to friends knowing your deepest secrets that maybe not even Minnie knew, nobody other than you and Mimi. 

“The last part is simple, It just says, ‘One more month, y/n. One more month and then you get to spend your summer abroad before college, Fuck if I last a month I’ll kiss principal Ficsher on the mouth at graduation or maybe strip when I’m on my way to get my diploma, everyone’s basically seen my virginal body nude anyway. Fuck this place.” 

Someone’s hand was in your face offering you a tissue, Minghao. The quietest of the three, but without words you could see his eyes were saying he felt sorry, not out of pity, just sorry that you went through something like that. 

“God, I knew Joshua was a fucking asshole too. There’s only one reason he and Jeonghan could ever get along.” 

You watched everyone around you thinking about what to do, waiting for your word on next moves. 

“Can we just take a break for the day? Maybe just have some food or coffee, alcohol even?” 

“Want to stay here at mine, y/n or go out?” 

“Let’s stay here, I can order you guys something if you get some beers or wine?” 

Mingyu took your phone from your hand, basically insisting you can’t pay for anything. 

“No. I’m buying everything as a thank you for doing her a favor.” 

A round of thank you Mingyu’s came from the group. 

“Since, daddy warbucks is paying, can you buy all of us personal pizzas and our own bottles of wine? Maybe a dessert too?” 

“Can’t you rob your actual boyfriend of his money, Minnie?” 

“No, this is way more fun.” 

After a few hours of drinking and getting to know everyone more, you decided to call it a night whispering for everyone to have sweet dreams as Vernon slept peacefully on the couch. Minnie ended up leaving early to spend time with her partner, Minghao and Wonwoo decided to stay up together the rest of the night attempting to hack into this anonymous account. And you, you left the same way you came, with Mingyu. 

“Can you stay here tonight?” 

You whispered before you unbuckled yourself from his front seat, without fail he pulled into a parking spot and turned his engine off. 

“I’m always happy to spend more time with you, let’s go.”

✧.* bonus:

✧.* taglist: @sun-daddy-yoriichi,@hipsdofangirl @kissesfrmwonwoo, @minhui896,

#❃ - duffytalks #seventeen fluff #seventeen headcanons #seventeen scenarios #seventeen x reader #svt fic #svt reactions #svt texts #seventeen imagines #svt imagines #seventeen smut #svt scenarios #svt x reader #svt fluff #svt fanfic #seventeen #mingyu x reader #minghao x reader #minghao x you #minghao x y/n #mingyu x you #mingyu x y/n #joshua x y/n #joshua hong imagines #svt au #svt angst #seventeen au #seventeen fic #svt smau #seventeen smau

[t00thpasteface]

hey sorry i’m sure it’s a little dumb but how did you find a community/make mutuals on here? i swapped from twitter to here last year & haven’t been able to make friends like i did on twitter ;v; sorry if this is all silly but figured it couldn’t hurt to ask. love your art & blog !!!

as i like to say, it's like lifting an anvil: it's very simple, but that doesn't mean it's easy. as someone who's a 12+ year veteran that lurked for a couple years and remade a little while ago, really it all comes down to putting yourself out there!!! don't just sit around twiddling your thumbs and lurking. it's tough to do it without coming off as a pandering tryhard, but honestly as long as you're polite, upbeat, and posting regularly, then you're golden.

if you want a big list of wordy bullet points, here's what i've got, and i think you'll find it's pretty applicable to basically any site/community you want to get involved in:

post a lot. this is number one with a fucking bullet! POST! POST LIKE YOUR LIFE DEPENDS ON IT. but crucially...

post GOOD STUFF. don't bash yourself in the caption/tags, don't say "sorry this is shit" or whatever, don't self-deprecate, and don't admit to posting low-effort stuff just to hit a quota. imagine it's open mic night and go crazy. this is a good site to use like a journal and a scrapbook, but if you want to actually get some traction, you need to bring something interesting to the table. of course, just being funny and nice goes a very long way.

encourage audience feedback. people LOVE to tell you about themselves and give their opinions. get them responding and make the questions and calls for engagement so interesting or fun they can't help themselves.

tag effectively. use both fandom/content tags for searches, and organizational tags for your visitors' use. the tagging system is tumblr's bread and butter, so make it work for you.

follow a lot of blogs you like. then see who they follow, and add those to the list. build a good circle of engagement and keep your finger on the pulse of the site culture for whatever niche(s) you're in... or want to get in.

reblog a lot and be funny/kind in the tags. generally leaving a lot of comments/replies to post is kind of hit-or-miss, but tags are a good harmless "inside voice" to use that doesn't clutter the post itself and yet still engages with op and people seeing the post

engage with people when they ask for engagement. things like polls, ask games, etc... scratch people's backs and they'll scratch yours. and it's just a nice thing to do regardless :)

panhandling is not always the best route. people will balk if you look desperate or openly beg for engagement, like directly asking people to reblog something or being passive-aggressive about how much engagement you are/aren't getting on something. a genuine joke about it is fun and relatable, but snarky comments just kill the vibe and scare people off.

REMEMBER THERE'S NO ALGORITHM. lurking will not put you or any of the stuff you like out there!! REBLOG POSTS! SEND ASKS! this site will NOT SPOON FEED YOU ANYTHING. like taming a wild stallion, you can make this work for you, but you have to put in the effort first.

some people will think you're annoying, and that's okay. probably not very many, but they'll be loud. this is an unavoidable part of Being Known. you can be the sweetest peach in the world but there'll still be people who just don't like peaches. don't take it to heart, and if you do happen to drop the ball or rub a few people the wrong way, don't let that keep you from trying again :)

i've enjoyed the many friends i've made on this site in the past decade-and-then-some, even though both this site and my blog are both something of a ship of theseus. here's hoping you can make it work for you and your interests, too!

#shebbz shoutz #ask

[derangedhyena-zoids]

Hello, back with more disturbing, fucked up Zi biology facts re: Organoids. I'M SURE EVERYONE IS VERY EXCITED (or running away, idk) It always has bothered me I didn't have a solid behavioral bead on how Organoids went from hunting Zoids to teleporting/fusing with cores. Apparently my brain has been thinking about it on some secret extra backburner because I just thought of this all suddenly the other day:

Zoids in general have something like this as a "nervous system" of sorts as relates to their cores. wild and zoidian zoids were more organic-ish while modern zoids' are basically purpose-built

this is sort of how the conduit stuff grows (top) vs is is "populated" (bottom), but the end result is basically the same. You have a core "nerve" suspended in matter in a tube. this blueprint of internal conduit is true for all Zoids, including, Organoids. Except with Organoids the concept just went utterly batshit. so while a huge amount of Organoids' evolutionbeing so conduit-heavy had to do with reproduction (re: adding a whole new step to encase core buds in protective eggs) it also had to do with a heavily-utilised feeding strategy. As I've talked about before, Organoid colonies are hypersocial - they maintain individuality but are all attached to their colony's hivemind. This made them really distressing predators - because while they were smaller than much of the Zoid megafauna they hunted, they did so in groups ranging from a pack to a swarm. One that could perfectly coordinate at all times.

If you're familiar with how wild dogs/hyenas/etc tend to go after their prey you might see where this is headed. I'd post a picture but that'd be kinda rude on random folks' timelines, so if you really don't know google youtube videos of african wild dogs killing large herbivores. basically pack carnivores usually go for weak points like orifices to start ripping into things. which works great when the whole prey is made of food... but Zoids are encased in a lot of armor and the best parts are very difficult to get to. which would actually lead to extremely protracted and dangerous hunts because it takes so long to destroy enough of the Zoid to actually immobilize it

SO the genesis of the whole fusion concept actually lies in the strategy Organoids as a species tried to solve this with - attacks that could directly target the core. Basically a swarm of Organoids overwhelming something, chewing holes in it to access the "conduit" - then, while the Zoid is being overwhelmed by a bunch of Organoids still attacking it, a number of them cling on and shove their own, much smaller cablings up through these 'conduit veins', damaging things and eventually getting access to the core chamber. refresher from my organoid anatomy bullshit - there's three types of this cabling:

one of these is GI - these type usually connect to the craw/stomach but they don't have to (I realized in writing this last night/today that there's some function "rules"/descriptions for these cables I've never articulated, but I've had those in mind for a long time, I'll write them down sometime soon I guess) but re: everything above, In what's basically a starfish move Organoids shove their own fucking guts up directly into a Core to start feeding on it. It's very miniscule individually, but multiplied it'll rapidly damage and collapse the Zoid's core, stopping (and killing) the prey for Everyone

When Organoids became more benign, and Zoids weren't hostile to their presence, they found they could accomplish this same basic thing individually without, yanno, all the Horrifying and Death, so. everyone was happier the end

thanks for coming to my fucked up ted talk. that's why you follow this blog right? lmao

#headcanon

[ericleo108]

CosmicLuve.com December 2023 - Deer

Necessary prerequisite posts:

108 The Story of Discovering Earth’s Consciousness (book)

Sentientism 2022

Cosmic Love Feb 2020 - Emma Watson

Cosmic Love April 2022: Cary Charlotte or Mary

Cosmic Luve July 2023 - The Main Thing

Cosmic Luve Aug 2023 - Orange

Cosmic Luve Sept 2023 - Bam

Cosmic Luve November 2023 - Cosmic Bros

This post’s intro builds off the semantics from the cosmic luve entries “Bam” and “Cosmic Bros” but the semantics for this month are all new, and all surround Emma Watson (again). I keep up this blog to show how semantic coincidences I see as meaningful could be a communication from Gaia, which is another name for the Earth’s conscious and godly spirit. 

The basic theory is that Gaia can communicate through telepathic randonauting and “points of realization.” In other words, it’s thought that the Earth is conscious due to it’s magnetism that gives her the ability to read your thoughts and highlight cognition which affects your behavior. It’s postulated that Gaia would manifest her communications through signals of loving intent especially between romantic partners. She would basically have to use humans and animals as a canvas to paint her communication over the collective ethos which would manifest by groups of individuals acting out their (gaia) affected cognition. 

The basis of this is described in my book “108 The Story of Discovering Earth’s Consciousness” which breaks down the science and evidence behind my reasoning and why I came to this conclusion. In the sentientism posts on the blog I take the science and knowledge of this a step further into the belief that Gaia is already conscious and communicating and ask: “What would that look like?” Then, this cosmic luve log is my attempt at showing you all that from my experience and how the voice in my head predicts the future and manipulates my environment in the ways aforementioned. 

Where we Left off

I guess I should have waited longer to publish the last post because a couple new semantics popped up that day that directly related to the main theme of the last post. I’ve seen the video of Pattie Gonia holding up the signs of exposing Big Oil Tycoons as criminals before… but I forgot to log it. I made a tweet about it and about how I came across it on the day I published the November 2023 post and (eventually) apologized to Gaia for missing her communication. The next day, Philip DeFranco did another segment on the protests of Just Stop Oil. 

New Coincidences

It all started December 9th, 2023 when I went to Three Rivers to see a friend and shoot three one-take music videos on the train tracks. They are posted and include “Yeah We Bang” “I Got You” and “Paliperidone” which is embedded above. In the December 10th Sunday update I talked about Emma Watson as a dear. Quick explanation, there was a deer that stopped in the middle of the train tracks while I was filming the second video which was “Paliperidone.” This is cosmic luve because right as I’m filming the deer I say “Gaia’s force,” then a little later I say “here’s the tale” as the deer runs away showing it’s tail, and (at the time) Emma’s Instagram profile picture was the mother deer from Bambi.

In the December 10th Sunday update I also talk about how “in twilight while taking a nap during the day the other day and Gaia said to make a (mystical) tree an anchor that she could build upon so I tweeted it to make it official.” Here is the tweet about the tree. I mentioned how “I made a tweet back on October 1st about how I would get $500 from my music “in the next 100 days”. Well I got the $500 but it didn’t come from music. It was access money I had basically.” Here is the tweet I made on October 1st. I also logged in the update that Gaia said I would meet Hailee Steinfeld in two years. 

On December 11th I uploaded the Paliperidone One Take music video to Youtube. On the night of December 12th, Jimmy Fallon revealed the 9th box ‘til Christmas day’ sweater and it was a deer. Also on the night of December 12th Taraji P Henson was on Steven Colbert promoting the movie she was in which was  “The Color Purple.” In the interview Taraji talk about how they shot the movie around a big oak tree (recalling what Gaia told me in twilight).  The movie clip in the show is about recognizing god’s love.

On October 13 “Cosmic live brownies” dropped. I made a couple posts asking my ig audience why Emma Watson's profile picture is the deer from Bambi. On December 14 Emma changed her profile picture to a British vogue shot and lil dicky dropped mr McAdams the same day. Do you think this is Gaia making fun of me using Emma as a vessel? I think she is. On that day I also thought about the song “Do-Re-Me” from Sound of Music which I think relates especially with Emma being tied to the sun poem. That night Oprah made an appearance on Stephen Colbert wearing all purple. 

On December 15th Gaia compelled me to make the tweet saying “Gaia says “you’ll hand a girlfriend in three weeks.”” I still don’t know what that’s about, we’ll see… On December 18th the Urban Rescue Ranch talks about “charlottes web” at 6:50 and how the spider is protecting Patrick, who I think is a type of African or Australian deer, from flies. I just want to say, this is how Emma’s cat semantics developed that I talk about in the book, the difference is the semantics were a lot more frequent and consistent because I had a cat. The problem was I hadn’t developed my theory of Gaia’s system (ie, knhoeing, sentientism, and cosmic luve) yet. 

This will be a pivotal post because it’s all about Emma Watsan, and draw together semantics from the previous trope. Listen to “Hey Emma” and “Be my dream” for music about Emma Watson. “Charlotte’s Web,” the last remake from ‘The Chalice Mixtape’ drops on Emma’s birthday April 15 2024. 

I am now using threads to document cosmic Luve coincidences so future logs will link to threads to document the prophecies instead of ‘X.'

#youtube #emma watson #cosmic luve

[daisyswift3]

The Alcott Analysis

So now that The Alcott has officially been released I wanted to do an analysis of some of the lyrics and how I think they might relate to Taylor. Disclaimer: I know Aaron said Matt wrote the main parts of the song and Taylor only added the dialogue parts so many of these connections might be a coincidence, but I also think it’s possible Taylor could have had more input on the song than they’re letting on since there are so many themes and motifs that perfectly relate back to Taylor’s music. This is just meant to be a fun clown theory

Like many others pointed out, the whole first verse is very “Help I’m still at the restaurant, still sitting in a corner I haunt, cross legged in the dim light, they say ‘what a sad sight’” and seems like the opposite pov of RWYLM

“It’s the last thing you/I wanted, it’s the first thing I/you do, I tell you that I think I’m falling back in love w/ you” // “I love you ain’t that the worst thing you ever heard” // “Uh oh I’m falling in love, oh no I’m falling in love again”

“I had to do something to break into your golden thinking” // “Lost in the labyrinth of my mind…you would break your back to make me break a smile”— this is directly related to the following ⬇️

“And there you are sitting as usual w/ your golden notebook, writing something about someone who used to be me…I sit there silently waiting for you to look up” // “Did you ever hear about the girl who got frozen, time moved on for everybody else, she won’t know it, she’s still 23 inside her fantasy, how it was supposed to be…and you’re sitting in front of me” -> Taylor is stuck in her own head reminiscing and writing about the past (the golden age) and this person sitting in front of her is trying to break her out of this nostalgic escapist mindset. I think this may be a direct reference to the film Midnight in Paris which is all about nostalgia and escapism--much like the song Paris on the Midnights 3am edition--and specifically to golden age thinking, a phrase used in that film. Here are some tidbits that I think are worth noting

@chickawah23​ made a really great post about the possible Midnight in Paris connections. Here’s a screenshot from that post that does a good job summarizing the important parallels

There definitely seems to be a connection between Midnights, the stories of 13 sleepless nights, and the folklore chapters that were released in Aug 2020, specifically the sleepless nights and escapism chapters. I think it’s interesting that exile is the last track of the first chapter and first track of the second chapter--almost like the second chapter is a direct continuation of the first which again links Midnights to this escapism theme. And there’s been a lot of exile references lately (exile ends, doors, 8/3, etc)

Even though the back and forth dialogue between Taylor and Matt at first sounds argumentative, I think it could also be read in a positive way. This person is going to ruin and wreck Taylor’s plans and Taylor is going to gladly let them. She welcomes the curse on their house. “I’m begging for you to take my hand wreck my plans that’s my man” // “For you I would ruin myself a million little times” // “I wish to know the fatal flaw that makes you long to be magnificently cursed...He’s gonna burn this house to the ground...So yeah it’s a fire it’s a goddamn blaze in the dark and you started it” // “Dear reader, burn all the files, desert all your past lives” // Taylor is the one that chooses to burn the lover house down. She’s the one holding the lighter on the Midnights album cover and striking the match in the lavender haze mv (here’s a really great post about what that might signify). Furthermore, the willow performance and description make me think that the curse on Taylor’s house was actually her own doing--she’s not only letting this person wreck her plans but is helping them do so. So the burning, wrecking, ruining, cursing/spell casting are all metaphors for the same thing—destroying Taylor’s closet and possibly her career as a result of that

Honorable mention: The beat almost sounds like a heartbeat no? Wildest Dreams??

#i hope this all made sense lol #sometimes im not the best at articulating my thoughts #im doing this instead of studying for my finals like the responsible student i am #taylor swift #taylorswift #gaylor #gaylor swift #kaylor #midnight in paris #midnights #the alcott #the national #parallels #folklore #evermore #paris #exile #lyric analysis

[buckybarnessunflower]

L i q u i d L u c k

Summary: Bucky has had a series of bad dates. A stranger gifts him something called liquid luck to help him, he's unsure if he'll ever use it but then he sees you and his mind is made up. Bucky finally gets lucky with you in a bathroom.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes X reader , Dark!Bucky, mention of Chris Beck X reader

Rating: 18+ (Dubcon, smut, sexual assault heavily implied)

Word Count: 3549

Warnings: Reader cheats on her boyfriend Chris Beck, Bucky spikes readers drink. Smut ensues. Lloyd Hansen makes a brief appearance. Talk of sexual assault. Dubcon no aftercare.

A/N: I posted this last night but I forgot to list some of the warnings. I deleted it and am now posting an updated warning. Thank you for the anon that brought it to my attention. I do apologize for anyone who may have accidently read it last night when I had not posted the accurate warnings. That was not my intention

Bucky breathed in and out through his nose, allowing the smell of alcohol from the bar he was in to help put him at ease. The bar he was in wasn’t overly crowded like most bars in New York on a Saturday night. The talk and laughter from the other patrons distracted him somewhat from his own self deprecating thoughts.

He was beyond frustrated that another date had gone terribly wrong.

Dating today was N O T like dating was back in the 1940s.

He knew he wasn’t the same man he was back then.

He knew he had lost his charm and his dazzling smile that used to get women weak in the knees.

He knew that while most men wore chains around their necks or nice watches around their wrist that he was forced to have a metal arm. 

Bucky rubbed his flesh hand down his face and sighed before he took another large gulp of the amber liqueur in his glass. He couldn’t get drunk but the feel of the liqueur going down his throat, leaving behind a slight burn as it made its way down felt nice.

It made him feel more human and less like the brainwashed assassin Hydra forced him to be all those years ago.

The sound of a chuckle beside him made Bucky glance up, the man was muscular in build with light brown hair that was shaved on the sides and a thick mustache.

“Woman troubles huh?” He asked, turning on his bar stool to look directly at Bucky.

Bucky gave a slight nod to his head in acknowledgment before turning back around to take another swig from his glass, he wasn’t exactly in the mood to talk about his troubles to a stranger that couldn’t even begin to relate.

“Name’s Lloyd” the man said, holding out his hand for Bucky to shake.

“Bucky,” he said, shaking Lloyd’s hand.

The grin on Lloyd’s face grew, “Oh I know who you are” he said and could tell Bucky’s body stiffened, unsure as to what Lloyd’s intentions were. Vibranium hand gleaming as he tightened it into a fist, ready to fight if necessary.

“Calm down big guy, I just noticed it seemed like you were down and out, I figured it had to be over a girl. Women now-a-days like to play hard to get, what with all of this women have rights bullshit they think they’re above us. They think they can lead us on during dates, wearing as little as possible, hell even sometimes taking us back to their apartments then BAM they don’t want to fuck. It’s sickening really and I hate to see another man hurt because a woman simply hasn’t learned her place yet”. Lloyd said, moving his chair closer to Bucky’s.

Bucky refused to fully look at Lloyd, not knowing if it was a trap or not so he chose to stay silent. He didn’t need his publicist breathing down his neck because he said the wrong thing to someone.

“That’s why I’m giving you this” He continued while taking a vial of something off of his necklace to hand to him.

Bucky stared at his outstretched hand in his peripheral vision, frozen in his place- unsure if he should take it or not.

“Think of it as liquid luck. You put a drop in a woman’s drink and her body begins to crave you. Even if she’s interested in you or not. She’ll walk out of a bar with you, smile on her face and her cunt dripping with the need to be filled. You take her home, do what you want and leave. She’ll forget it ever happened.” Lloyd grinned, now dangling the vial in front of Bucky’s face.

Bucky watched as it swung back and forth, it was tempting, so tempting. 

Part of the reason why he was so upset about tonight was because he wanted NO needed to fuck. He wanted to feel the warm silky smoothness of a woman’s cunt wrapped around his cock. It had been too long since he last had sex, he had gotten a little rough with the last girl and she had blasted him online. A picture of bruises and bites littering her skin didn’t fare well with the public’s already shitty opinion of him and any potential sexcapeds ended before they could begin after hearing how other women could barely walk after sleeping with the ex-assassin. 

He had been hopeful about the woman tonight, had wined and dined her how he would a woman back in the 40’s but she went on and on about her ex boyfriend. She had even started to cry in the middle of the date, accusing eyes turned to him. Expecting The Winter Soldier to have done something terrible to the woman. “I’ve got to go” she had said before abruptly leaving, chair turned over in her haste to get out of the restaurant. Bucky had been left to pay the tab, food half-eaten and his cock still semi-hard where he had been expecting to get lucky.

Bucky grabbed the vial, milky white substance reflecting the fluorescent lighting from up above.

“I knew you would take it,” Lloyd said, hand clasped firmly on Bucky’s shoulder.

—----------------------------------------------------

Bucky laid in his bed back at the compound staring at the vial.

Was he really going to use it?

Had he really become that desperate that he needed “liquid luck” to help him get his dick wet?

The sound of the porno he had open in the background broke him from his train of thought.

He couldn’t take any more nights like this. 

He couldn’t handle the sounds of the fake moans and orgasms from the pornos.

He didn’t care what Tony said. No matter what tags he clicked on, none of them could fulfill his desires like having an actual woman underneath him.

—----------------------------------------------------------

Bucky pulled the cigarette from his mouth and blew out the smoke. His lips turned up in a smirk as he glanced down at his drink and then back up to the dance floor, watching as the “liquid luck” took effect.

He had been watching you from afar for most of the night.

You had come in shortly after he had arrived. You and your friends had run over to the bar, giggling as you stumbled over each other's stiletto heels in a race to get to the bar first. You had been pushed into Bucky, a contagious smile on your face as you turned to him to apologize when he helped steady you.

The warmth of his hand had felt too good to go unnoticed. Bucky had noticed how you had leaned closer into his touch. Your friends didn’t even realize how you and the stranger at the bar were enamored with each other. The smell of your vanilla shampoo and floral perfume was intoxicating.

One of your friends shoved a shot of tequila at you, liquid spilling over the edges onto your skin tight red dress. His eyes instantly glanced down to find that it had darkened the fabric around your breast, you hadn’t even noticed- too busy throwing back the shot and wincing at the burn going down your throat.

A drop of tequila clung to your plump bottom lip and Bucky had to adjust himself in his chair when he felt his pants tighten. He took a chance and swiped at the drop of tequila on your lip with the pad of his thumb, your eyes closed and Bucky swore he heard you moan. You were so receptive to his touch and he knew he had to have you.

“C'mon babe we gotta go dance” One of your friends said, pulling you away from Bucky and onto the dance floor.

Bucky knew as he watched you go that he wasn’t going to leave tonight without you with him..

He felt in his pocket for the vial Lloyd had given him.

Tonight was the night.

He wasn’t going to take any chances, he wanted you and he was going to get you in his bed.

It was at that revelation that he found himself at the bar most of the night.

He watched as you and your friends danced and had fun, giggling as you took turns grinding on one another that had him and every other man in the room entranced.

Finally you stumbled over to the bar, Bucky placed his hand on your lower back to help steady you.

“Thanks” you grinned up at him, loving the feel of his hand on your lower back.

Your eyes met endless pools of cerulean blue that had you taking in a shaky breath.

You could see the barely contained lust poorly hidden in their depths. It made you shiver and you instinctively wrapped your arms around yourself in hopes to cover yourself from his roaming eyes. Uneasiness settled deep in your bones, you could feel his lecherous stare all over your body.

You asked for more shots and turned away from the bar to avoid any conversation with the man. Yeah he looked good but it was something about him that just felt off and he looked so familiar but you couldn’t place where you had seen him before. 

Since you were turned away you completely missed when the bartender placed your order of shots on the counter.

Bucky took his chance and added a drop of the liquid from the vial to your shot.

He watched as you downed it with no problem, no sign of disgust on your face at all.

Now he could only wait and watch to see if it would take effect.

—------------------------------------------------------------------------

It was like a fire had been lit under your skin, it felt hot, too hot and it seemed like no one else was feeling the same way. Desire pooled in your belly and you could feel your pussy start to soak your thong. You felt dizzy, the room started to spin as you stumbled over to the bathroom.

You stood near the sink, splashing water on your skin in hopes of cooling yourself down but you let out a little whine as your pussy throbbed with desire. You didn’t know what had come over you, your boyfriend Chris was always good about fucking you good but he was away on a NASA mission for a few weeks. You whined again at the thought, your pussy ached to be touched and you had a brief thought about stuffing your fingers in for hopes of momentary relief until you could get home and watch one of your and Chris’s sex tapes.

The sound of the door opening had your eyes wide in surprise, a hand clutched at your chest to calm your racing heartbeat. You swore you had locked the door after coming in.

The man from the bar walked in, a predatory glint in his eyes as he looked at you up and down while he locked the door.

“Th…..th…..This is th…. The woman’s bathroom” you stuttered out, the edge of the sink digging into your back the more you tried to press your back against it.

“I know” was all he said as he walked closer to you.

The feeling of desire was beginning to overwhelm you. You could smell his cologne, tones of amber and sandalwood quickly becoming addicting. You squeezed your legs together tightly in hopes of satisfying your swollen clit.

“Aw. You want me baby”? He asked, taunting you.

The seed had been planted in your mind now. 

Fuck.

You did want him and you didn’t know why. Chris was such a good boyfriend and you had dreams of becoming Mrs. Beck one day but God the man in front of you had you wanting to throw all that out the window for one night with him.

He looked like sex on legs and God you couldn’t possibly walk away from a chance like this. Could you? 

His pupils were dilated to the point where only a small ring of cerulean blue could be seen.

“I want you” he whispered in your ear, your knees weakened at his confession.

Bucky wrapped his arm around your back, turning you so you were facing the mirrors over the sinks.

His lips trailed down your neck.

Kissing.

Licking.

Biting.

Bruising every inch of your sensitive skin. A moan escaped that had Bucky smirking against your heated flesh.

He couldn’t believe it. It was actually working.

His vibranium hand traveled up your stomach to the valley between your breasts, he yanked at the fabric of your dress and his mouth instantly watered at the sight of your plump breast.

“Look at these tits babydoll. I bet they’re sensitive” he said, groaning as he plucked and rolled a nipple between his metal fingers. They pebbled at the feel of the coolness of the vibranium and you couldn’t hold back your moan the more he pulled and tugged at them.

“I’ve always been a tit man and these are gorgeous” he confessed, grabbing a handful of each.

“Look at us” he whispered and you did as you were told.

It made your thong dampen even more than what it already was.

Bucky was standing behind you, his front pressed against your back with the top of your dress pulled down past your navel. His flesh hand had one breast gripped tightly and his vibranium had the other gripped tightly. 

It was a beautiful contrast. 

Flesh and metal.

Pain and Pleasure.

He nipped at your neck again, making your eyes roll back in your head at the instant pleasure you felt.

Chris had never made you feel like this before.

You whimpered when he left your neck to trail his lips down the expanse of your back, his hands left your breasts to follow his lips.

He pulled your dress all the way down, until you were left standing with only your thong.

Bucky growled when he felt your thong soaked through.

His index finger rubbed at your glistening folds, pulling your thong between them, making your yelp.

“Ssssshhhhh babydoll. I gotta see what I'm working with” he said and you felt yourself blush at the thought of him looking at your pussy close-up.

“Pl…..please” you whimpered out as you tried to close your legs so he couldn’t see.

“HEY! Stop that. No hiding from me. This pussy is mine” he said, smacking at the inside of your thighs making you yelp again as you hesitantly opened your legs.

“You got such a pretty pussy baby” he said before licking at the pad of his flesh thumb and bringing it to your wet entrance.

You whimpered at the feel of him pushing his thumb along with your thong in your entrance, the lace fabric slightly hurt but not as much as his thumb flexing, trying to widen your hole.

“So tight babydoll fuck” he groaned, taking both hands to pull at your hole to make it slightly gape for him. Bucky collected a tiny pool of saliva in his mouth and spit directly in your hole.

“Oh God” You whimpered at the feel of his spit dripping out of you.

Your mind felt hazy with lust. You felt like you were in a cloud, not able to think clearly, only of the man currently on his knees thrusting his fingers in your pussy. 

You could hear squelching noises each time he thrusted in.

“Hear that babydoll? Your cunt is begging for me” He said while pumping his fingers lazily in and out of you, like it was a chore to be defiling your body.

“Gon….Gonn……Gonna cum” You cried out and whimpered when he abruptly pulled out of your cunt.

He tsked in annoyance as he stood up and unbuckled his pants, sliding the worn out leather through the loops before grabbing your wrist in a tight grip and wrapping them in his belt, pulling the leather as tight as he could against your skin.

“Can’t have you cumming without permission babydoll. Sorry but tonight is about me and what I want, not what you want”. He said with a smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth.

He ripped your thong off of your body before he slid his boxers down enough for his cock to spring up and hit his stomach.

Your mouth dropped when you saw how big he was, doubt coursed through you and you couldn’t help but look at him with fear in your eyes.

“What is it babydoll? Don’t think it will fit?” He asked while rubbing the tip through your folds, gathering as much of your wetness as he could.

You shook your head as your breath hitched when his tip caught in your hole.

Bucky bit his lip, fuck he had just breeched you and you already felt so tight.

“Just gonna slide in real quick babydoll” he groaned as you whimpered when he pushed the tip completely in. You could feel it tug on your hole as he tried to pull out and push back in.

It was all too much but at the same time not enough.

You felt too full and you felt like you needed more.

With each inch he pushed in, he pulled right back out so he could rub your wetness on his cock that hadn’t been in you yet.

He had to fight not to just ram all of himself in you but he wanted you to want this.

He wanted you to beg and plead for more.

He wanted to see the look of desperation on your face as you begged to be filled.

He glanced up at the mirror when he pushed a little more in you, your mouth was slightly open and your eyes were halfway closed.

You looked like a goddess. 

Better than anything he could have dreamed.

With his vibranium hand he gave your ass a quick smack and looked up in enough time to watch your eyes roll back in your head.

“Fuck you like to be spanked babydoll”? He asked and chuckled when you moaned after he gave your ass another quick smack.

“I may never let you go babydoll. I may keep you at the compound chained to my bed forever and ever. Just use this tight little cunt whenever the fuck I want to” He said before pushing all the way inside of you, his balls hitting your skin making the both of you shudder.

Your wrists were hurting, his belt too tight around them but the pain was nothing in comparison to the pleasure you were feeling of his cock nestled deep against your cervix.

You had N E V E R felt so full before.

N O T H I N G could ever compare.

Now that he was completely inside of you he showed you absolutely no mercy.

He pummeled you with each thrust, hitting your cervix each and every time with a precision like you had never seen before.

It felt like he was trying to get deeper, like he was trying to fill your womb.

“Feels so good babydoll” he said, pulling at your hair so you had to look at the mirror.

Your skin was flushed, cheeks rosy pink as Bucky fucked you thoroughly. 

“C….Cu….Cum Pu….Puh…..Please” you struggled to get out as it felt like Bucky was fucking you even harder.

“Fuck can’t even speak right cause I'm fucking you so good” he said, pulling your hair harder to bring your body back plush against his.

He wrapped a hand around your throat as he kissed and bit at your neck.

Sweat rolled down his face the more he exerted himself.

“Cum when you want to babydoll” he said, finally answering you as he squeezed your throat harder.

Your vision became spotty, tears threatened to spill any second as you struggled to breathe.

It was like he had hit something deep within you when you felt something snap. 

Your mouth opened in a silent scream, your eyes rolled back in your head as your cunt clenched at his cock so hard that he couldn’t move in or out of you.

“FUCK” He groaned, feeling you cum. He looked down and noticed your cream in a ring around the base of his cock making him groan again.

“Gonna cum babydoll fuck this pussy is so goddamn good” he said pushing in and out of you again.

You could barely hear him though, your ears were ringing from the sheer intensity of your orgasm.

He thrust in and out.

One more time.

Two more times.

Three more times.

Then he was spilling into you, his cock spurting his cum into your velvet silk walls.

You were both breathing hard as you came down from your highs.

He pulled his belt loose from your wrists, rubbing the sore skin soothingly as he kissed your neck and shoulders.

You whimpered when he pulled his softening cock out of you, your combined cum dripping from your used and abused cunt.

“Ssssshhhhh you did so well babydoll” he whispered while helping to pull your dress up.

He turned you to face him so he could kiss your lips and wipe away your tears before he left you alone in the bathroom.

#dark!bucky x you #dark!bucky smut #dark!bucky barnes #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes x reader #james buchanan barnes #bucky barnes smut #chris beck smut #chris beck x reader #bucky barnes #james bucky barnes #bucky barnes imagines #dark bucky barnes #dark bucky smut #dark bucky x reader

[gilmoregirl]

hi,

i want to state the last week has been incredibly hard for so many, not only because of the gossip, accusations, and losing a place of comfort that caused a lot of confusion, angst, and anger, but also because some of us have been juggling it alongside difficult moments in real life as well - a time in which we could have used community the most. writing this out is mostly for those who are not comfortable reaching out to ask what happened, to be informative, and as a way for us to put the past firmly behind us and find a healing and joyful place to land in our future.

for those who weren't there from the beginning, let's make a few things clear. madi created brittle heart all on her own - from the site itself, the codes she'd made previously, to the discord. it was her solo build, which was never questioned. a few of us (myself and bertie) joined the site as members from the very first day. it grew quickly, and madi had included in the rules to reach out if you were interested in staffing at all. i was the first added to staff four days after it opened, and shortly after we added on athena and mads - a choice i'd made alongside madi as she asked for my input. prior to brittle heart, i'd had no idea who madi was, had been, or the sites she'd made in the past. i knew she'd returned from a year-long hiatus, but was incredibly excited for the future of bh. she urged all of us from day one - even when it was just the two of us - to make our own stamp on bh, add what we wanted, to help improve on what she'd already started. most of the things added in were majority member suggestions, and a few skin edits and discord updates that we thought would help the member base. a few weeks later, bertie and robin were added in at madi's suggestion - while we were a well oiled machine as a team of four, two more admins would allow for some of us to take absences without the growing member base needing to suffer. staffing was smooth, outside of a few intense member related issues that we made sure everyone had a voice in to respond as a team. it was so easy until it wasn’t. 

things began to take a turn during the week that the march madness event had been posted, on march 1st. from the moment i woke up on saturday, until the moment i went to bed late sunday night, my anxiety was at an all time high. there had been a misunderstanding from madi that myself and another admin had been arguing in the staff chat, when in fact we were just two passionate people who talk best by explaining every detail of our thought process, discussing what version of tallying points made the most amount of sense for the event via google sheet. madi had woken up to it, and while i was still asleep, was telling people that they had a "tone" because she'd misunderstood the conversation, a word that she'd been using on a more frequent basis. reading back it was confusing, and felt pointed at one person in particular, but we tried our best to shake it off and push forward. a bit later, a new channel appeared in the staff section labeled "staff issues", with a detailed message about how frustrated madi felt. it directly spoke about how bh had moved so far from the original vision, her original vision, and she was upset with that, and the size of the staff team she'd added on. it was long, and i could tell it was something she needed to get off her chest. i was the first to respond with a long message of my own, showing a lot of love for every single member of the staff team, including madi, and what she'd created. i did offer that i was a little confused, because we often polled in the staff team about decisions, and she'd responded to most of them (if not all), so i was unsure which particular moment had felt like too much. another member of staff responded with a lengthy response of their own, pulling away a bit from the staff issues during a large chunk, and going after two other admins by name for a personal issue regarding a face claim that no one was aware was a problem - because they hadn't expressed it was. one of the people named responded directly to the issue, a little confused, and apologetic, but it quickly spiraled away as madi accused them of making it all about them, and within minutes it escalated to terms "gaslighting" "abusive" from madi, before she quickly stated she would just close down bh instead.

what had turned from a difference of opinion about things like rewards points, badges, how to set up the future social media of our fictional roleplay site had suddenly turned into opening triggering wounds for everyone involved, and how this was madi’s site, her vision, and we were all just players within it - something she had the power to end at any minute all on her own. it stung, and made us all feel used for the talents we'd shared - skinning, discord building, our intense activity and worldbuilding, as well as general upkeep and moderation of the site. things settled for a bit as madi left to collect herself, and we all sat in the mystery of how she'd feel when she returned. would we suddenly be kicked from the server? would the site show up offline? we didn't know. the pit in my stomach grew, because while i'd spent the better part of my day trying to be ultra positive - if someone said this, if they apologized like that, it would all get better - i suddenly started to realize how uncomfortable i was with the idea of staying after how quickly things had spiraled and the harsh language used. when she returned, madi apologized, but once again made it clear - anyone could leave, as this was her vision, and hers alone. she wanted to find a way to return the site back to that, and while she appreciated our help, she could handle it if we no longer wanted to continue.

imagine spending every day for over a month, building connections, large and expansive group plots, starting a new skin day one of becoming staff as directed, helping direct others to requests that weren't even your own, staying up half a night alone to build an event you were so excited for but never got to participate in, just to be told suddenly that it meant absolutely nothing to someone you thought you were building a real friendship with. after a full day - of which i spent the entirety of it online - i went to sleep knowing we'd likely be leaving bh. be it out of pure anxiety, fate, or whatever else, the four of us woke up at odd hours, and decided it would be better to remove our things and leave a message rather than do it during the messiness of the middle of the day. so we did. we left a goodbye message in the staff chat, outlining how much we loved bh and our time on it, but if we were truly not all equal partners (as it had been said by madi multiple times we were - and was now being rescinded on) we didn't feel comfortable continuing on. it felt like the choice was stay on bh, be silent, do as we were told, or go, she wouldn't care either way. we left a note to members because we'd truly cherished that community, but felt belittled and didn't know how to continue on after what had been said. according to madi the night prior, anyone could leave, and it wouldn't change a thing for bh. we didn't know that she'd immediately take our goodbye down, post a message about closing the site, only to post a poll about maybe keeping it open before disappearing and leaving it all to rest on mad’s shoulders.

after leaving, the four of us decided we wanted to build something new, something ours - that we could all share and make it a point to expand upon with new voices when the time came. as we were brainstorming, we were sent screenshots, dm's, and a lot of inquiring messages. at the time, we didn't know how to respond, we wanted to keep it light, and give bh a chance to succeed without tainting it with what we'd been through. while we couldn't stay, we didn't want to ruin everyone else's good time. mads messaged us all privately, asking if we wanted any plots removed, and we gave the details of which we were comfortable leaving to bh, and which we weren't - some of the characters and families on bh were created years prior, and belonged to their original owners who weren't comfortable with others continuing those plots. around noon on monday, madi sent me a message stating she was sorry and leaving the rpc - and offered us bh. she mentioned she was leaving quickly - within the hour - and it gave us a sense of urgency to act and respond. the four of us were uncomfortable to going back to bh as if nothing had happened, as all we could see was how it was now madi's vision, and hers alone, and even when we'd forgiven her for the harsh words used, there would always be a shadow of her in its wake - she'd built it, and that would never change. in her goodbye message to me, it felt clear she would not be posting a goodbye message or actively closing the site, and had even told us if we didn't feel comfortable returning to use it as a way to reconnect or offer new projects. we decided to go back to close it properly, and give the members we'd written alongside the closure after a rough and frankly exhausting weekend. we wanted to be clear that we adored you all to not waste another moment of your time. we went back knowing we were there to close it up - and never attempted to lead anyone on - but waited as this whole situation caught the one remaining staffer at the end of their workday, and wanted to ensure they were fully up to date on what was going on and approved the sentiment before we posted a goodbye.

i'm sure you're wondering why this is now being recounted, of which there are two main reasons. one is the amount of whispers and gossip that has gotten back to us, insinuating we were somehow the problem, how we gave people hope in the two hours we were back in the discord waiting for mads to return home so we could post the goodbye. telling others the reason it closed was over things like face claims, or other menial issues, or because we just wanted to start a new project. the other is because now a total of six people have come to us or realized their own past with madi. one was someone i've known for over a decade, and while we don't rp much together these days, we chat every now and again. they asked me about bh - and about madi- and if she was still pulling the same shit. they used specific phrases and words that madi had used against us, and let me know this happened to them too, on another site. in just a matter of days, so many people had shared an incredibly eerily similar experience - madi created something, was unhappy with the direction it was going after some time (usually within a one or two month mark), caused a commotion by using intense and directed language, and left others to pick up the pieces after she walked away. she's gone by multiple aliases - madi, myah, blair, and this behavior has spanned the better part of a decade, if not longer. pulling people in to be her closest of friends, making everyone feel as if they're on equal footing, before pushing them away and hoping for the best. if it hadn't been for the fact that many - and i mean many - people have come to us in the last week, i'd never speak publicly about this. 

i want the best for madi, i truly hope her tumblr goodbye message is right, and that she spends more time surrounding herself with loving family and friends, finding new joys and good fun. i hope she heals from the events of what happened. but i do not want it to be made out like i, or my close friends, were in the wrong here when we were merely the newest in a line of many that have been sucked in and then spit out at the expense of someone else's vision. no one owes anyone enough to stay in an environment where they are berated, put down, treated as lesser, or told that while their work is great they are not allowed to hold an opinion. this is a hobby, it's meant for light and fun, and joy, and that is frankly all that any of us want for ourselves and our futures. i’m sorry if the closing of bh was difficult for you, as it was incredibly hard for us to leave, but we did so because of the difficulties experienced.

i do not plan to discuss this again. if you would like to reach out, my discord dm's are open. for now, thank you to anyone who has read this, i'm going to enjoy less time being so chronically online, touch some grass, eat some snacks, focus on the writing that brings me joy with people that support and value one another, and show those closest to me some love. i sincerely suggest you all do the same. 

#rp things #brittle heart #washawayrp #truly am a wordy human

[thelunarfairy]

Hii again1!!1 xd Goodnight, since I'm typing this at night.. And we have the same timezones so- Uhh Good morning? You'll probably read it tomorrow... It's midnight rn so-- alrr i'll get to the point now...

I said this before in one of my posts, but I wanted to hear ur thoughts about it so- (if u want to talk about it ofc xd)

About the hand that appears misteriously in chapter 101... I've been thinking about chapter 106 and while reading your last post about it...

"A voice beckons from the darkness" (What chapter is this, by the way? I completely forgot about it- I just stole that image from your last post lol)

"But whatever you do, you mustn't respond."

Those 2 phrases parallels those 2 panels so much- I don't know if it's just a coincidence or really something to take in, but it's just something that I noticed while reading your post xd

The hand that appears to Kou reminds me of the Twins' hand to be completely honest (fingers that seems a lil' bit more larger than the others), while the hand that appears to Nene reminds me of hers (delicate fingers) xD But then again, just like u said; it might just be Aida's style of drawing the girls' and boys' hands.

Ohwell-

Have a good night, afternoon, or day! <3

Hello again :DDD how are you? hahaha you got it right I only read it this morning

"A voice beckons from the darkness, but whatever you do, you mustn't respond."

Wow you made an amazing association here, I really liked this because it makes total sense! The hand appeared out of complete nothingness and disappeared in the same way. Yashiro answered her and this voice came bringing a bad omen (even the title of chapter 101 is called an omen, this is the chapter in which the hand appears), an accident that happened and which apparently could happen again.

If this was the consequence of her responding (the accident) then it could happen again. I've been thinking about what kind of accident it would be. In the other post I talked about the big clock that broke, but I stopped to think about something today.

I thought about the possibility of this accident being directly related to the twins' deaths, but it didn't seem to make much sense.

Apparently, the twins were 12 years old at the time of the flashback festival, as they are in the first year of middle school (in Japan the first year class is made up of 12 year old students) but Yugi doesn't live long enough to the next festival as they die at the age of 13, shortly after July 22nd before the summer holidays. Amane does not kill Tsukasa anywhere near the school festival. So this could rule out the hypothesis

But what if this accident was responsible for making Amane decide to kill Tsukasa? The festival is directly linked to the twins and Tsukasa told Nene that he would show her more about Amane when he reappeared to her. So he will show it to her during the festival because it is related to Amane's past.

Have you ever thought how crazy it would be if Tsukasa was ordering Amane to fix the clock just to show Nene about Hanako's past? XD (just a joke)

Now I have this in my head, is the accident related to the motivation or the death of the twins? (there are thousands of other hypotheses, omg) hahahaha

Yes the mysterious hand resembles Amane's when she pokes Yashiro, but it later resembles a girl's in the second panel, so it remains mysterious.

Note. The chapter where Hanako's hand appears before Amane tries to make Kou faint is 50

I hope you liked it, thanks for the ask! ;)

#jibaku shounen hanako kun #hanako kun #hanakokun #jshk #toilet bound hanako kun #amane yugi #jshk spoilers #tbhk #yugi twins #aidairo #jshk hanako #jibaku shoujo hanako kun #jibaku shonen hanako kun fanart #hanako anime #yugi amane #yugi tsukasa #tsukasa yugi

[yellowloid]

hello! I saw you made a post on the analysis of the ultracheese and honestly it was such an intriguing read! I read that that you believed golden trunks was an even more meaningful song when related to miles and alex and I would really really rEALLY love to hear what you have to say about golden trunks because honestly its one of my favorite songs

hello and thank you!!! always happy to hear people enjoy my song theories ❤️

golden trunks is one of my favourites too and i was d y i n g to analyse it. it's just such a unique song sound and lyric-wise, definitely in my top three in tbhc.

(as always, disclaimer: this is just a fan theory and everything i'm gonna say is 100% subjective. i'm not claiming it's the Real Meaning TM of the song bc 1) songs can have multiple meanings depending on the lens that is used to analyse them and 2) we'll never actually know what alex meant by writing it. we only know it's the closest thing to a love song in the album, featuring a conversation between him and someone he's falling for. nothing else is set in stone.)

but let's get to the actual analysis, shall we?

to me, this song is about miles. 100% about miles. the person he's talking to, and the person he's falling (or has already fallen) for is miles. there are theories going around on the internet saying it's about taylor or even louise, which are both??? kinda senseless theories??? first let's talk about taylor: why would he create that same sense of secrecy (that is present in songs such as the ultracheese) in this one, if it were a song about his (at the time) girlfriend? why would he add that 'we're friends but i'm falling for you' vibe (that we can find in diwk too) in a song about his current partner? why would he admit to fantasising about that person (keyword: admit, like it took him some time to come to terms with it) in a song about his so of literal years? tbh it doesn't make any sense to me.

and then louise... a bit more plausible since it would at least explain the secrecy if he was cheating, but then again, still doesn't really make sense. what's with the wrestling references. i don't think she's a wrestling fan, and if she is, she's never publicly shown she is. not that she needs to, ofc, but... you know. this theory usually comes from twitter fans who can't even bear the idea of it being about miles, because god forbid someone ever mentions the idea of alex and miles being a thing!!!! so really considering the source of this "theory" is twitter i wouldn't give it much more thought lmao

so now onto the lyrics...

"last night when my psyche's / subcommittee sang to me in its scary voice / you slowly dropped your eyelids / when true love takes a grip, it leaves you without a choice"

this is such an interesting and powerful opening verse to a song. it's so cryptic, and at the same time so blunt. he admits to being a victim of night-time overthinking, that moment when you keep tossing and turning in bed and sleep just won't come to you, dooming you to unwanted thoughts, realisations and fears coming together to haunt you through the night. he's scared of those voices in his head, whispering all those truths to him that he doesn't even want to consider; his mind is being flooded by snaps of the person he's maybe trying not to think too much about, but at the same time he knows it's a losing game: there's no choice to be made, no power held over the images that keep shooting through his mind. he also seems to realise something about the person in question: the possibility of them being his "true love" (or, similarly, him being this person's "true love", hence them admitting to fantasising about him). once again, this is extremely important because he rarely ever refers to love so directly in his songs, and i don't think it's a coincidence he does it here as well as in the ultracheese. having no choice could also refer to him finally coming to the realisation that - despite the fact that he's still so scared of the whole situation - he can't run away anymore. there's no choice, he has to acknowledge the facts because they're all there, hiding in plain sight. there's no way he can escape the truth, and that terrifies him. but he does acknowledge it, as he sings:

"and in response to what you whispered in my ear / i must admit, sometimes i fantasise about you too"

i can just so easily imagine him and miles sitting entirely too close to each other in some booth at a bar, the unspoken boundaries of friendship getting blurred as too much alcohol gets in the way, and miles leaning closer and closer to him just to whisper in his ear that he sometimes fantasises about him in ways friends shouldn't. or as they rehearse their songs right before/during the eycte tour, which always reminds me of this quote:

MK: I remember, one time Alex came up to me and said "I want to see how you spit, while singing "sick puppy" in Bad Habits. I called him a madman afterwards.

AT: Yeah...

MK: But he was right. No one else would say something like that to me, It was beautiful.

AT: You see, Kasia, I just tell Miles about my fantasies, and he tries to fulfill them, even when they are very kinky, like in that case.

(full interview here)

or even during concerts, since we all know how much they loved whispering god-knows-what to each other during song breaks, then proceeding to giggle and flirt with each other like they weren't being watched by an entire crowd sksldklsh. they seemed to be self-aware of this, as they also used to take the piss and play with interviewers when asked about it:

Interviewer: What sort of things do you say to eachother on stage?

Alex: Dark, twisted and very private things.

Miles: You'd think we were freaks if you knew some of the things we talk about on stage. We talk about weird things that don't really make sense to anyone else.

(i think this is from nme, i haven't been able to find the original interview but you can read something more here)

however, imo alex admitting to fantasising about the other person in this song makes his confession so heartbreaking. a while ago me and @jewellersstunts were talking about the fact that it's just so easy to imagine miles whispering something like that to him, maybe during a concert, and him being taken by surprise + generally bad at expressing his emotions through spoken words + him being insecure about their situationship and his identity and just... not saying anything in reply. maybe brushing it off as a joke, when in reality they both knew it wasn't. now, following the fandom theory of them still being friends but having some kind of falling out after the eycte era due to the unclear nature of their relationship - miles getting serious and alex chickening out -, let's fast forward to a couple of years after the tour. when things aren't the same anymore and alex is there, all alone by himself, dwelling on the past, on what once was and what could have been... and him finally finding the courage to give miles a reply through the veil of song, because that's the only way he could ever really be able to express his emotions in some kind of neat fashion (+ i think a similar development was also featured in one of WeirdChick333's fics which as we all know are the canon milex bible so there's that)

i also can't help but think of miles' own album when i think of this song. whereas golden trunks is filled with regret and it's like saying "i didn't give you a reply when you said it, but i'm saying it now. it probably doesn't change anything though, and i'll have to live with that for the rest of my life", coup de grace as an album (and may i say, ESPECIALLY wrong side of life which is my absolute favourite miles song ever) is like saying "yeah you didn't say anything then. you broke my heart and and you keep breaking it every single day, we fought so much and nothing is the same anymore, but i don't care because i want you and you want me, so can we please, please try again?". i think that's really telling of their personalities. tbhc as a whole has a very pessimistic vibe, even though it rarely ever addresses private matters that directly (with golden trunks and the ultracheese being the most direct songs, but still being incredibly cryptic and mysterious). cdg is sad and angry and heartbroken about a nasty breakup, but in general i'd say it still holds some kind of hope for that relationship to be salvageable.

but i'm digressing. let's keep going:

"the leader of the free world / reminds you of a wrestler wearing tight golden trunks / he's got himself a theme tune / they play it for him as he makes his way to the ring"

the reference to wrestling (and possibly to something that actually happened) could be a way for alex to make it clear, even to miles himself, that this song is about him. if it were indeed something that actually happened (them watching a wrestling match or the news, and miles pointing out trump's similarity with that wrestler), then when miles listened to the song - if he still had any doubts - it'd be irrevocably clear to him that alex was talking to him. it'd be some kind of secret code, an inside joke between them turned into a way for alex to make sure miles knew. (also lmao at the twitter fans going to great lengths to prove this verse is about taylor or louise when they've never expressed any interest in wrestling while miles has been a big fan for ages. @ amtwitter bffr)

now, i don't remember if he's referring to an actual wrestler that wore golden trunks as part of his costume and that reminded miles of trump, but the mention of wrestlers in general also reminds me of a very interesting addition by @reconciledviolence729 to my ultracheese analysis. she said:

"For some reason I got fixated on the line: “And dress like a fictional character / From a place they called America / In the golden age.” I can’t help but think how Miles dressed as Ric Flair, who was a significant persona during the “golden era” of American professional wrestling (which is often considered at least somewhat faked aka fictional)."

going back to golden trunks, this verse also introduces some kind of indirect commentary on politics, which is present in other songs from the album and which continues in the next lines:

"in the daytime / bendable figures with a fresh new pack of lies / summat else to publicise / i'm sure you've heard about enough"

(quick aside: "bendable figures" could also be interpreted as a very suggestive image. not gonna elaborate any further on that)

in this reddit theory it is suggested that this mirrors the "breaking news, they take the truth and make it and fluid" verse from american sports, and i think that's a very interesting parallel. however, this part also introduces a contrast to the opening line (last night / in the daytime) which hits us with a sinister dilemma. we like to think that the (often pessimistic) conclusions about our life that we come to at night aren't to be trusted. nighttime does that, it tends to fuck with our rationality by making everything seem scarier, more threatening and disheartening than it usually is. our minds tend to lie to us at night. but here he says that the "fresh new pack of lies" comes during daytime. so what's more trustworthy, night or day? the scary, truthful voices of night or the blatant lies of day? he doesn't give any clear answer to this question. he just leaves us with the doubt, instead bringing the song to a close with newly-found courage:

"so in response to what you whispered in my ear / i'll be upfront, sometimes i fantasise about you too"

the difference with the previous "i fantasise about you too" line is obviously the use of "i'll be upfront" instead of "i must admit" - which is such a slight change, but it's still so important. the use of 'must' and 'admit' imply a certain degree of forceful admission. he finds he can't hide it anymore, and has to at least take notice of it in some way. he doesn't necessarily want to admit it, because he wishes he could still keep that confession to himself. on the other hand, saying "i'll be upfront" is so powerful on his part. he not only acknowledges the feeling, but he takes a big breath and finally comes forward, announcing it without any second thoughts. he finally finds the right way to actually reply, even if it took him so long to do it. and yes, maybe it won't change anything, but this song is a way for him to send out a message, and the fact that he managed to write it and include it in the album (despite never being able to play it live - which makes it even more sus) is a testament to how much of his heart he put into it, how much deep emotion and reflection and courage it took him to be able to compose it and sing it. and that's exactly what makes it so incredibly special.

#i love this song so much you don't understand #the fact that they never debuted it is possibly one of the sussiest things alex ever did but you know what? i get why he refused to do it #it was too personal my guy would've probably cried on stage if he did play it #perfect sense is definitely its equivalent in the car. there's no way they're gonna play it anytime soon #(watch them play it at the next show now that i said this) #(no but please play it. play perfect sense AND golden trunks. i would straight up cry throw up and die but at least i'd die happy) #also sorry at this point you know how long my posts get lmao #thanks for asking for this analysis tho it was a pleasure to write it 💖 #milex #my theories

[mrswhozeewhatsis]

Shifted - The Humbug (Chapter 5/?)

A/N: Still no end in sight. Been sitting on this chapter for a while because it's short and posting takes TIME, and I just haven't had the time to post what with life, the universe, and everything. Again, this is a Secret Santa fic for @jensengirl83, who I can only hope will forgive me for how long this is taking me to throw together. Also, not beta-read because we die like men and all that. (Since no one follows me on ko-fi, I've kind of abandoned it, so y'all get to read it here first!)

Story summary: The Winchesters are meeting your family for the first time when you all visit for Christmas. Things don’t go quite to plan.

Chapter summary: Everything just feels hopeless.

Pairing: Dean x Reader

Word count (chapter/story): 1178/7213

Warnings: Just a lot of humbug with a smidge of fluff.

Previous chapter - Series masterlist

“Y/N?” she whispered loudly, her eyes wide and jaw tense. “What were you doing in there with Dean while your boyfriend is across the hall asleep?!?”

You gave your sister the most annoyed sibling bitchface you could muster and hoped it covered your nerves while you lied through your teeth.

“I went in there to wake him up because he sleeps like an angry bear with a gun under his pillow and I didn’t want you or Mom or Dad getting shot. Also, I needed to talk to him about a gag gift we’re getting for Sam after we’re back home. I was considering adding a clown element, but Dean thought that might be taking things a step too far.” You snorted a little giggle at the idea and hoped that would further sell your lie to your all-knowing sister.

Your sister’s expression didn’t waver, however.

“The man you love has a serious phobia of clowns, but you want to get him a gag gift involving clowns?” Tracey shook her head at you disapprovingly, threw her hands up in the air, and turned back towards her bedroom. “I can’t believe I’m related to you!” she snapped as she walked back into her room and slammed the door behind her.

Nearly dropping to the floor with relief, you patted yourself on the back for managing to fool your sister.

Breakfast was relaxed and made you finally feel like you were back at home with your family, mostly because Dean was in the shower and Sam was out for a run. At one point, you thought you saw Dean approach the doorway, but when you turned to look, he wasn’t there. Your mom distracted you with a story about Christmas when you were five and started a food fight with Tracey during breakfast, making everyone laugh.

Sadly, it didn’t last long. The mood took another nosedive when Sam returned from his run, even though he only grabbed a muffin from the table, kissed your cheek, and headed directly towards the shower. The table went quiet as everyone ate their pancakes and bacon, and you wondered what more you could possibly do to fix things.

Why couldn’t your family trust that you knew what you were doing? Why couldn’t they just believe you when you told them that Dean and Sam were good people?

Maybe because you were lying to them.

Shit.

Suddenly, you didn’t want to be there, anymore. If you couldn’t be honest with your family, then you just shouldn’t have come to visit at all. It had just seemed so easy to have the man you love and his brother in the same room as your family. You’d thought you could give the brothers something they’d never had: a real Christmas with people who cared about them. You wanted them to see parents who remembered to buy presents and were there, because they didn’t have to get revenge or hunt evil. You wanted to give them silly traditions like wearing stupid sweaters and making each other guess their presents before they could open them. But that wasn’t what was happening because you’d lied.

Dean came in, sat down next to you at the head of the table like he’d been the night before, and put way less food on his plate than he normally would. Breakfast continued in near silence, with only occasional attempts at small talk between your parents. By the time Sam had returned, Tracey was helping your parents with the dishes while you and Dean were leaving with the excuse that you needed to shower, and Dean had to put finishing touches on his presents. With a tug of his sleeve, Sam turned right around with you and followed you and Dean to the guest room.

“I take it breakfast was about as comfortable as dinner last night?” Sam asked with a sad sigh as you all sat down on the bed. You and Sam settled with your backs against the headboard, and Dean sat next to you on the side of the bed, stroking your leg with his hand.

“It was fine until I showed up,” Dean replied, grimacing. “They were even laughing until I got there, and then it all went silent again.”

Giving the boys a sad smile, you slumped where you sat. “Normally, we’d put on our sweaters, open presents, then go into town for a Christmas market thing they do in the afternoon, then come home for dinner. However, I’m beginning to think we should just say that a job came up that we can’t refuse and leave. I mean, nobody is happy this way, and maybe we can all salvage a little joy if we’re just not together. Tracey already caught me coming out of Dean’s room this morning and then yelled at me for considering giving you a clown-related gift, Sam. They can’t possibly think any worse of me if we just leave.”

Sam looked thoughtful, but Dean slid up the bed so he could put his arms around your shoulders and hold you close. “I’m so sorry this is such a shitshow, pretty girl. If you weren’t with me, then none of this would be happening.”

With a little shove, you sat up straight and looked Dean dead in the eyes. “Don’t you even go down that road, mister! You are not the problem here! You are the best man I know, and I wouldn’t trade a minute with you for anything in the world. Especially not just for some stupid Hallmark holiday crap. This is happening because I lied to my family.”

Dean tried to interrupt, but you shushed him with a hand and shook your head.

“Maybe it was your idea, but I went along with it. I could have put a stop to it right at the start, and I didn’t. And now we’re deep in it, and I don’t see a way out besides just leaving. And, although I’ll be a little sad that this didn’t work out the way I’d hoped, I think it’s the best possible choice, right now. I love you, and I love our life, and I wouldn’t change a thing, so just stop whatever self-deprecating bullshit you’ve got running through your head right this minute!”

Sam snickered while Dean looked properly chastised.

“Alright, darlin’. If you say so,” Dean said, leaning in and giving you a chaste peck on your lips. “Then you go give your regrets to your family and we’ll get packed up. We leave in ten.”

“Wait,” you said, stopping Dean from standing up. “Make it thirty. I really do want to shower and put on clean clothes before we start the drive back to the bunker. Someone got me all hot and sweaty this morning, and I still feel a little gross,” you joked.

Sam closed his eyes and turned his head, putting a hand up so he couldn’t see you. “I don’t want to hear that, guys!!!” You and Dean both chuckled and took advantage of Sam not looking to share a kiss.

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