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fairyhaos · 3 months

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seventeen and babysitting kids

ib the return of superman w svt bc i watched all the eps w jeonghao + junshua recently and it made me soft :((

masterlist

seungcheol:

better with kids than some of the others, but cautious. has the experience to take care of the child, but he's worried about coming off as too mean or harsh bc he's used to dealing with grown men with the mannerisms of children instead of actual children n he's too afraid of making the children cry if he's too strict w them. is very Parent when it comes to looking after the child, like, literally acts like their mom and makes them eat their vegetables and fusses over them when they spill something and makes sure they go to bed on time. the efficient person when it comes to looking after children

jeonghan:

he's so sweet. maybe a little too sweet bc as soon as the child is making the slightest whining noises he's dropping everything and doing aegyo or getting out all the toys or offering snacks bc god forbid a child starts crying in his care :((( good at being all gentle wheedler when he's exhausted out of his mind tho but he's just so weak that he doesn't do it often. lets them stay up half an hour past their bedtime. plays hide and seek with them a total of twelve times in a row. he's exhausted by the end of it, but the parents are smiling and the child is telling them how much they adore jeonghan and really that makes it all worth it for him

joshua:

the adorable uncle!! spends fifteen whole minutes explaining his name to the child, before giving up and telling them to call him jisoo. which leads to even more confusion bc he has two names???? what???? very excitable, but also clueless. he's an only child, what can he say? lets the kid get away with most things. when he inevitably exhausts himself two hours in by going way too hard while playing chase, he speaks in a cutesy tone and tries to convince the child to play some more sitting down activities. it always works, and honestly even tho he's terrible at puzzles it's better than going thru fitness training for five hrs straight

junhui:

eagerly participates in the child's made up games! pretends he's a superhero spy with them, pretends he's a magic prince(ess) with them, pretends they're pirates and encounter a ginormous sea monster with them. forgets to feed the child dinner because they're too busy playing, and so he lets them eat a whole hour after their bed time and because they're so late it takes ages to wash up and tuck the child into bed and eventually, the kid is only just going to sleep and it's three am and the parents are pulling up to the front of the house. but it's okay, because the child had fun and junhui had fun too

hoshi:

loves it the most when the children pretend they're animals. or if they have animal toys. managed to get into a fight with one of the kids once bc they wanted to be a tiger and soonyoung insisted that only he could be a tiger. almost made the child cry before eventually agreeing that they could both be tigers. gets hungry really quickly, so he ends up eating half of the child's dinner, then gives them loads of junk food to compensate for it. bad idea though, because now he has a child that's bouncing off the walls and it takes him hours to convince them to Not try and be spiderman and climb the walls and to Please get into bed because your parents are going to be home any minute and they are going to Obliterate me if you're still up

wonwoo:

he's chill. acts like a ghost that's simply observing the child's movements. only speaks when they start doing something they shouldn't or when it's time for dinner or when they should go up and get ready for bed. sometimes plays with the child if they ask him really nicely, but most of the time he's zoned out and staring at the wall, letting the child do whatever they want (so long as it's within the rules that he's been given)

jihoon:

awkward with children. doesn't know what to do. introduces himself and then holds out his hand for the child to shake. sits on the couch like he's ready to bolt any second. ends up putting the tv on for the child so that the silence in the room isn't too deafening. definitely warms up more as the night goes on, and ends up engaging in conversation with the child about how their life is at school. he forgets the names of all the children that the kid mentions though so he has no idea who has drama with who and how they're all connected but he nods and frowns and gasps in what he hopes are all the right places

minghao:

he loves children. so eager to play with them, encourages them to introduce all their toys to him and their histories and their relationships. shows them his cool hand tricks, has them gaping at him in awe for several minutes after. he's very shy, surprisingly, so desperately wanting to be all hyper and loud with the child but worried it will come off as too excitable. tries to teach the child better habits, too, talking to them about handling emotions and how emotional manipulation w tears will Not work on him, nice try. makes sure they eat their greens, and helps them brush their teeth as they get ready for bed. reads them a book and does one last finger trick before patting them on the head goodnight <;3

mingyu:

dramatic. big baby. literally acts like a child too. by the end of the evening, he's made a new friend and has pinky promised thrice that he'll come over some time for a proper play date with them. lets the child do whatever they want, with him and just in general. doesn't force the child to eat their greens bc honestly he finds those yuck too, and lets them go to bed later bc they gave him the most adorable puppy eyes and he's weak for that. reads them like five bedtime stories, acts out two of them, and would have definitely sung a song as well if he hadn't gotten a text saying the parents were coming home. rated 10/10 by all the children he's looked after

dokyeom:

the sweetest :(((( literally the most adorable with kids. treats them as if they're his younger siblings. is unintentionally doing aegyo the entire time he's with them bc he's just being influenced by so much cuteness all around him that he does it too. lets the child play with his hair, his clothes, his fingers. does the child's hair for them when they ask, and throws them into the air so many times that the child is almost sick all over him. plays hide and seek several times, two of which he was the one hiding from the child. almost forgets to put the child to bed, but then tucks them in really nicely and sings to them so sweetly. can't leave the room until the child falls asleep tho bc they insisted on grabbing onto his fingers and won't let go bc they're afraid he'll go away :((

seungkwan:

very fussy over children. dotes on them like he's a rich musty aunt, pinching their cheeks and calling them adorable every five seconds. participates in their made up games, but is hit with reality minimum three times every game bc even though he loves pretending he's a princess dressed in a pink and purple dress, it does feel weird when reality slaps you across the face. very good at Following the Schedule, and becomes almost sergeant-like while the child is brushing their teeth, standing over them and measuring the time to make sure they're doing it correctly. kisses the child on the forehead goodnight, giving their cheeks one last squeeze before tucking them in for the night

hansol:

kinda just there to have food. he's good with children tho, paying the right amount of attention to them and making all the exaggerated facial expressions that they adore. finds kids rlly adorable, but also just kinda sits there n munches on snacks half the time. asks the child how much english they know, quizzes them on the numbers from 1 to 100. all in all he's pretty good with children, feeding them on time and getting them to bed on time. ends up being so good that they fall asleep a long while before the parents come home, so he's just kinda sitting on the couch n staring at the wall for a while

chan:

literally acts like a child too (2). great with kids and matches their energy immaculately. isn't really into dressing up or chasing, but he's great at made up games and board games. once spent the entire evening playing snakes and ladders, bc it was a tense match okay and he was sure the child had to be cheating bc how were they always ahead of him?? makes sure they eat their food properly + very good at convincing them their veggies taste delicious. watches the child jump on their bed for a solid ten minutes, despite having been given express instructions to Not let the child jump on the bed, but really, how can he say no when theyre so adorable?

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lustspren · 1 year

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Post Stress Therapy EP. 0 ft ITZY.

length: 8.4k words ✦

ITZY & Male Reader.

genres: not sixsome but almost, orgy (?, ass eating, pussy eating, legs/body/foot worship, oil massage, spa, handjob, blowjob✧

✦✧✦✧✦✧

A low percentage of the population could say that they really enjoyed their job, and you didn't just enjoy your job, you loved it. It was quite peculiar, in fact, and you had a rather vague recollection of how you had found it; the truth was that you weren't even looking for that job in the first place, your intention was to get a job as a community manager, but you ended up being a masseuse in a spa that was, to say the least... peculiar.

At first you considered it a mistake, and you appealed a couple of times to be given a job according to your resume, but both times you received the same answers: no, and no. The reason according to them was quite simple, they had already found a person who best met the profile they were looking for, and by mere chance, there was a vacancy as a masseuse within the spa. The best mistake and the best coincidence of your life.

You really had nothing more to ask for, the work environment was very good, it was a nice place with good hygiene, the pay was pretty good, and above all, you had the chance to give pleasure to a lot of hot girls, every-single-day.

That day was as ordinary as ever, you arrived at the facilities about 10 minutes early before your entry time, you greeted all your coworkers and went directly to prepare the room as you did every day before opening. For today you had received the specific order to prepare everything for five people, which of course seemed strange to you since only one or two people used to arrive per session, but the truth was that you didn't even care, work was job.

"Oh, we need the fifth bed over there, if we arrange them in a row it will be less practical," you said, indicating to your colleagues, Juyeon, Sunwoo, Sangyeon and Eric, the place, "and the other four, two on each side," You would have helped with it, but you were arranging the various stacks of rolled towels to one side of each individual sofa.

"A couple of candles are also missing on this side, I'll go get them," Juyeon warned before entering a small storage room inside the room where you kept all your supplies.

"I find it strange that the five of us are together, what do you think this is all about?" Sunwoo asked next to you as you placed a dish with warm water and rose petals on a towel on the floor; he, for his part, was preparing the beds one by one.

"A bachelorette party, maybe? Sometimes women do that kind of stupid thing before they get married," Sangyeon replied as he lit the candles inside the glass vases Juyeon brought over.

"Nah, I think it's just a bunch of single girlfriends coming to have fun, who knows," Eric said from across the room as he moved the fifth bed to the spot you'd indicated.

"Anyway, we need this place to look spotless, and so do we," you stood up, taking a second to examine each other's uniforms, which consisted of a two-button gray linen shirt and baggy black pants.

"Make sure you get the lint off your shirt if there is any, and if you have a stain, go change immediately," when you said that the four of them did a quick check of their own uniforms, giving a thumbs up when they were done.

“Let's get this over with quickly, we have about 20 minutes until they arrive,” Sunwoo said, going to change the lights in the room to a dim and intimate level.

During the next 20 minutes none of you spoke other than for specific matters, you were all focused on leaving the place tidy and that you did not miss anything; when you had finished, you were in charge of standing from the entrance to scrutinize every detail. Everything was just as you had planned from the beginning, two beds on each side, and one more at the back of the room, each one with an individual sofa, a dish with water and a small pile of three towels on the side where the feet should point; there was also a set of 3 glass vases with scented candles inside in each corner of the room, these were already lit, so the place smelled like a sweet apple tree scent.

"Very good, everything is perfect, now go to your places, they should be here any minute," you nodded, and went to stand next to the second bed on the left side.

Not even five minutes passed when you started to hear voices on the other side of the door, getting closer every second until the doorknob moved, and the spa receptionist walked in. You almost had a heart attack when you noticed who was behind her, but you had to hide it with a purse of your lips.

"And here we are, ladies, they will be your hosts today," she said, stepping aside so you could see your customers. Many female celebrities used to go there for special treatment, in fact, it was an open secret, but you never expected to see all ITZY together in that place.

“Hello, take good care of us today,” Yeji, Ryujin, Lia, Chaeryeong, and Yuna said in unison as they bowed to you. They were all dressed in sportswear, cargo pants, sneakers, and tight-fitting tops that left their shoulders exposed. The only one not wearing a top was Yuna, in fact, she was wearing some kind of incredibly sexy bodysuit that showed the flesh of her waist.

You gave a nervous look at Sunwoo, who was next to you, and then all of you bowed back at the same time.

"We'll work very hard, welcome," you all said, and then returned to your natural positions.

"Well, I'll leave you, okay? If you need anything, feel free to tell me," the receptionist said with a kind smile to the members, and then turned to you, "Good luck guys," she gave you a discreet wink, she turned, and left the room, closing the door behind her.

There was a little awkward silence in the room when the receptionist left, because you were so nervous you didn't even remember that you were supposed to lead the session, and it didn't help that they were all staring at all of you.

"Oh, come in," you waved toward a door to the left of the storage room, "please undress and come back in a towel so we can get started, alright?" you asked with a friendly smile.

"Are you fucking kidding?!" Sunwoo whispered to you, mimicking a shout, “This is the first time a whole group has come here, this is going to be crazy!”

"Just relax and keep a cool head. Both of them," you whispered back, earning a giggle from your colleagues.

About five minutes passed when the changing room door opened, and the girls left one by one to walk towards the center of the room. The towels that you provided to the clients were quite short, so your eyes were delighted with 5 beautiful pairs of legs, some more fleshy, others more toned, or some simply long and creamy; not counting the fact that they had the towel rolled up on their bodies at the height of their breasts, covering only from their nipples to their crotch.

You exchanged glances with only three of them: Ryujin, Chaery, and Yuna. Ryujin and Yuna looked at you like lionesses hungry for prey, Chaery, on the other hand, looked at you with a kind of passive desire, bright eyes, and slightly nervous hands. Meanwhile, Yeji and Lia just exchanged glances between each of you. .

"Okay, I don't think I need to explain what you came to do today, right?" you asked rhetorically, "This session will consist of 4 phases, each focused on a different special service. At the end of one phase, you will go to the next worker for the next one, so all of you will have received attention from each worker, except for one. In the final rotation, you will have to go with the worker you haven't worked with, and repeat a phase of your choice," you finished, with the girls' eyes on you, "understood?"

"Yeah!" all five said at the same time.

"We'll start with the order you're in right now, so Yuna, come here please," you asked kindly, and the others did the same to the rest of the girls. Ryujin went with Eric, Chaery with Juyeon, Yeji with Sangyeon, and Lia with Sunwoo.

She gave you a small smile and walked towards you, and you waved her hand for her to sit on the single sofa. She did so, crossing her legs with her back straight with her gaze fixed on you. You knelt in front of her, taking a look at her creamy thighs, one on top of the other. Her towel did absolutely nothing to cover her from the waist down in that position, so you could also perfectly see her buttocks pressed against the soft sofa leather.

"I know you've heard this a thousand times, but you have very nice legs," you said, looking down at the porcelain bowl with water in it to stir it a bit and check the temperature. Then you held her two ankles together with your hands and dipped her feet into the hot water.

"Not thousands, millions of times," Yuna replied with a giggle, "but thank you very much, you have very nice hands... and arms," she said with a slightly lower and seductive tone.

"So you think?" you smiled, "I knew moving those beds from one place to another was going to pay off," she laughed again, and you dipped both of your hands into the water and immediately pulled them out again, purposely splashing her thighs, where your hands landed to begin to moisten them from top to bottom; you made slow movements, which went down until you reached her calves; you repeated the process a couple of times, until her legs were covered in a light layer of water.

"And they also feel very soft, what soap do you use?" Yuna lightly bit her lip, discreetly spreading her legs just a little bit so that you could get a frontal view of her small, shaved pussy.

"Mmm, none specifically, it's just the experience," your voice came out without any kind of nervousness despite your attempts, you were already trained for that, but even so you couldn't control how much blood was pumping towards your little friend.

You lifted Yuna's feet out of the water and set them to the side of the bowl to let them drain a little on the towel, then moved the bowl to the side, removed the stacked towels from the small stool, and put it in the place of the bowl for Yuna to put her feet up.

You took her left foot in both hands and slowly began to massage it, applying pressure in circles with your thumbs to the bottom of her foot. You started near her heel, and worked your way up to her toes, where you ran each finger between them back and forth a couple of times. You repeated the process with her other foot, as you felt her penetrating gaze on you and how she slightly moved her hips against the couch.

"Getting horny already, huh?" you asked quietly, looking at her for a few seconds before focusing back on her feet.

"Just… a little," she admitted, with a more flirty, snickering giggle.

With your two hands you continued massaging her feet a little more, this time giving more attention to her fingers and the upper part of these, a little more than a minute passed, until you lifted one of her feet and brought it directly to your mouth; Yuna did everything possible so that the small moan that came out of her mouth wasn’t heard by more than you and she, you saw her for a moment, finding you with a pair of flushed cheeks and big eyes full of lust. You sucked on her toes one by one, using your tongue to lick between them and also run it over the bottom of her feet, from her heel to her toes again.

You continued sucking and salivating her feet for a few long seconds, and when you considered that it was enough, you took her by the calves and raised them towards your mouth to start distributing kisses up and down, Yuna shuddered, but instantly relaxed, letting her your mouth slowly moved freely over her skin until it reached her thighs, where you also distributed kisses this time deeper and wetter, concentrating on her inner thighs and then stopping just before reaching her pussy.

"Sorry sweetheart, that's none of my business," you wailed for her after she let out a slightly disappointed groan.

You still had about 2 minutes left, time that you took advantage of to review with your mouth along her legs; you lowered her thighs giving them long licks and kisses, then you kissed her calves, and finally you arrived to put her left foot in your mouth again; as your tongue moved between her fingers, Yuna ended up removing her towel, revealing her modest pair of tits, and extended her free foot to press against your cock over your pants. You let her do what she wanted, after all, the only rule you had in this regard was no penetration.

She continued to massage your bulge with her foot, and you continued to suck on her foot with dedication, but a constant beeping from a clock in the corner of the room signaled the end of the phase. You took her foot out of your mouth, placed it on the little stool, and stepped away from her. Yuna whimpered a bit, looking at the bulge in your pants. You looked back at her, from her perky tits, her perfect flat abdomen, and her pussy that you noticed, was already a little wet.

"Time's up, honey, please stand up," you asked with an innocent smile, and she did, then you turned around to face everyone. The girls were almost all the same as Yuna, flushed cheeks and horny eyes, the only ones who still had their towel on were Chaery and Lia, while the rest were standing completely naked next to each guy, "Oh right, each phase lasts 15 minutes, sorry for not clarifying sooner. Go to the next worker now please."

As the rotations are clockwise, the next one to be with you was going to be the one on your left, Lia, which was incredibly convenient considering what was next, meaty thighs, and a juicy round ass, perfect for eating.

The corresponding changes were made, so Yuna said goodbye to you with a slight wave and gave way to Lia, who bit her lip when she noticed the bulge between your pants, she wouldn't stop looking at it, so you had to clear your throat and get her attention.

"Come, please," you offered her your hand, she took it, and you led her to stand with her stomach against the bottom edge of the bed, she looked over her shoulder at you a little nervous, "Hey, it's okay, I don't bite," you tried to reassure her with a small smile, then crouched behind her.

"W-what are you going to do?" she asked, clearly still nervous.

"You know exactly what I'm going to do, didn't your leader tell you?" you asked, cocking your head.

"I know two possible things you're going to do, I just don't know which one."

"Then just relax, close your eyes and let yourself go, cutie," you put your hands on her thick thighs and gave her a mini massage just to get her to release tension, but it didn't help when four girls, one after the other, let out a little startled groan. That was your cue to start.

In one quick movement you took the lower edge of the towel and brought it up to her hip, revealing a pair of juicy and perfect buttocks that you didn’t hesitate to squeeze with your hands, you noticed how Lia let out a slight gasp, and how she flexed her knees and threw her ass back, that allowed you to have her pussy a few centimeters away, and especially your main goal. You spread her buttocks to either side of her, and without warning, you buried your tongue right in her ass.

"Holy f-!" Lia almost screamed, she herself brought her hand to her mouth to muffle out her moan.

Lia managed to contain her moans quite well for a few seconds, unlike some other girls like Yeji on your right, who kept letting out slight whimpers and moans while Sunwoo had his face buried between her buttocks, of course this didn't last long, as your tongue moved faster, up and down, in circles, and in whatever way you noticed she enjoyed.

"My God! Your tongue feels so… so fucking good, fuck!" Lia whimpered, moving her hips slightly and pushing her ass further into your face.

You really weren't forced to do it since you weren't supposed to, but while your tongue worked tirelessly to clean her ass, your hands were under her buttocks in the middle of a somewhat rough massage, you knew perfectly well what you were doing, and You knew that it gave a plus to the pleasure she felt at that moment.

Your hands moved up and down her thighs as you applied pressure with your fingers, and in a small, sneaky act of generosity, you let one of your hands reach her pussy to rub it back and forth, Lia let out a longer moan, and you, after spitting on it, continued giving her ass deep and quick licks.

Lia didn't even bother to be discreet anymore, the moans from the other girls, combined with the brushing of the side of your hand against her pussy and your tongue eating her tight hole, made her stop caring about hiding her moans. She reached back and grabbed your hair tightly, pressing your face between her buttocks; you felt that your generosity was already being too much, so you stopped rubbing her pussy and left your hand on her thigh, Lia complained with a rather adorable whimper, and went on to rub her clit herself.

"I think… I think I'm close to cumming, fuck!" Lia announced, looking at you over her shoulder, but something interrupted her, the 15-minute alarm. Such was the collective disappointment that from all directions you heard the same whining sound, and couldn't help but laugh as you pulled your mouth away from Lia's ass, "Oh come on! What a killjoy," Lia growled, dropping her towel to the floor, "I hope you take care of what you just provoked, fuck."

"Okay, switch" you said aloud, looking at all of them with a 'fuck me for god's sake' face.

The rotation became incredibly fast, Lia moved away from you, and the one who now stood in front of you at lightning speed was none other than one of the most desired leaders in the industry. Yeji was completely naked and at your mercy, her body was simply perfection, and her tits were by far the biggest and most beautiful among all the others. You'd be lying if you said you weren't tempted to forget the rules, get her on the bed and fuck her, but your job was more important.

"You can't just skip the rest of the phases and fuck me, right?" she asked with a burst of boldness, stepping forward to reach out with her hand and grab your cock over your pants. She was looking into your eyes, while she was biting her lip.

"Rules are rules, if I break them, my bosses will know, and I'll be fired," you shrugged, letting her know that it wasn't up to you anymore, "now come here, I'm sure you'll appreciate this just the same."

You wrapped your arms around Yeji's waist and lifted her up into the air, instinctively she grabbed your torso with her legs, but you brought her back down when you turned around and left her on the edge of the bed. She spread her legs wide, so that the bulge of your pants pressed against her pussy, once again, you doubled your self-control not to do something crazy, and only got on your knees to do your job.

Hwang Yeji's pretty pink pussy was now just inches from your mouth, and you didn't hesitate for a second to close that distance to stick out your tongue, plant it against her slit and give it a slow, long, torturous lick from the bottom to her clitoris as a first contact, and if you thought that before she was moaning something loud, now without a doubt everyone outside that room could perfectly be listening to her.

After that first lick you focused on playing with her a bit just to warm up her engines; you began to give her wet kisses all over her pussy, not forgetting to add your tongue every few times, Yeji moved her hips between small whimpers, seeking the maximum possible contact with your mouth at all times.

"God, please stop teasing me and eat my pussy for once," she moaned, running her fingers through your hair and caressing slowly.

"Come on sweetie, why in such a hurry?" you asked mischievously, gave a small giggle and returned to her pussy.

As much as you wanted to keep playing with her, you had limited time if you wanted to give her the best of her experiences, so you stopped teasing her and went straight to what she wanted. Your mouth plunged fully into her soft, wet flesh, moving your tongue up and down faster and more consistently. Yeji's fingers now wrapped tightly in your hair, and after a few seconds you felt a tug in it when your tongue reached a certain sensitive spot near her clit, you used this to your advantage, and began to attack that exact spot with your tongue over and over again, with quick and precise licks that made Yeji close her legs with your head in the middle, which was now squashed into a soft meat sandwich.

Her moans were the key to knowing that you were doing an excellent job on her pussy, you continued paying special attention to her sensitive spot, not neglecting her clitoris for a second; her thighs were pressing hard against your head, maybe a little too much, it was evident that she didn't care if she was being too hard, or if she was cutting your breath in some way, she just wanted her pussy very well eaten.

"Oh fuck, fuck fuck!" she whimpered, her legs shaky and her body gradually shuddering more and more, "I'm gonna- FUCK!"

That was the last thing Yeji said before exploding in a maelstrom of spasms that made her fall back against the mattress of the bed, your mouth was the first to taste the fruits of her orgasm, collecting all her juices like a thirsty dog without even protest; you knew you still had time, and you didn't stop for a single second in your work, which led to intense overstimulation that made her squeal and nearly hurt her throat. A series of chained screams filled the room too, you didn't need to use your sight to know that the other girls were already reaching their peaks, the first was Lia, you already recognized her way of moaning, and it made you happy to know that Sangyeon gave her what she deserved.

You really wanted to cause Yeji a second orgasm, proof of this were your multiplied efforts while she continued to shake with pleasure on the bed; you enjoyed the feel of the soft flesh of her thighs pressing against your face from either side, but you wanted to be bold with her and show a bit of dominance; you lifted your knees off the floor and kept in a squat, grabbed her thighs and used a significant amount of force to separate them from your head and spread her legs wide, Yeji tried to close them again due to the sensitivity of her slit, but you you held her firmly, while you continued to eat her pussy with the same intensity.

Your objective did not take long to be fulfilled, you looked up at Yeji, her mouth was no longer even making any sound, and her body was no longer shaking, she was in a kind of trance, with her mouth in the shape of an O and her eyes lost in the nothing, which in a few seconds led to a new explosion of pleasure in her body; her orgasm was violent this time, to the point that you had to hold her to the bed so she wouldn't fall to the ground and hurt herself. Yeji's eyes closed as she bit her lower lip, so hard you thought you saw blood for a moment, and she finally let out a shriek that nearly deafened you.

After you had left her as satisfied as you wanted and left her pussy shiny and clean, you stood up to look around, the other girls still hadn’t cum a second time when there were still less than 4 minutes left on the clock, you deduced that it was a lack of courage on the part of your colleagues, and of course you were going to make fun of them when you were done with all that.

"Are you alright, cutie?" you asked Yeji, standing to one side of her.

"Fuck… better than ever," she sighed, lying on the bed with her face to the other side, "you're… pretty amazing," her eyes widened to turn her head to see you, "it's okay if I suck your cock while no one sees?" she now fixed her gaze on your crotch.

"Well, the rules don't say anything about that..." you looked back at the others, focused on their business, and grabbed the hem of your pants to only pull your semi-hard cock out, "so go ahead."

Yeji looked at your cock and licked her lips before leaning her body further towards the edge of the bed, taking it with one of her hands and bringing it straight to her mouth, you gasped, watching as she slowly sucked on it and you were getting hard in your entire length; her eyes were still open, a sharp feline gaze on yours at all times, half of your shaft disappeared into her mouth with each soft movement of her neck, from her position she couldn't reach more, but what she could have of your cock she treated as if it were a delicious candy worthy of admiration.

Yeji took your hand, and guided it directly towards one of her tits, the entire palm of your hand was on it, and knowing that you had her approval, you did not hesitate to squeeze it firmly between your fingers, while she took you out of her mouth for a moment just to lick your dick and spread a few kisses on your balls before going in again.

You and she were enjoying it, she was feasting on your cock, and you were massaging her pretty tits, but the clock gave the signal that the 15 minutes were up. You reluctantly took your cock out of her mouth and put it back in your pants, and she settled into the bed with a mischievous smile on her face.

"Too bad, sweetheart, we'll save it for another time," she wiped the saliva on her mouth with the back of her hand and winked at you, before getting up with some difficulty to sit on the edge of the bed.

"V-very good!" You stuttered, and took a moment just to swallow your arousal, "Uh…switch up, please," was all you managed to say. Yeji laughed, patted your arm, and staggered off the bed to go to the next worker.

All the girls had flushed faces and somewhat shaky legs, not counting their clearly agitated breathing and slightly disheveled hair. You didn't know who you were going to work with until you turned around, and found Shin Ryujin's naked statuesque body inches from you. She had a mocking expression on her face, a devilish little smile and eyes that looked you up and down.

"Do you think I wouldn't notice?" she asked quietly so that Sunwoo behind her wouldn't hear, a raised eyebrow.

"Uh… what are you talking about?" You scratched your temple, trying to hide the fact that you clearly had a boner that was screaming to come out again.

"Oh come on, Yeji was sucking your cock so good she even made me jealous," she giggled, then bit her lip. You sighed, and put your hand to your forehead. How clueless.

"Just don't say anything, please," you murmured, then stepped aside to motion for her to lie down on the bed.

"Don't worry, not a single word will come out of my pretty little mouth," as she walked past you, she gave the hard bulge in your pants a discreet grab, and then she lay on her back on the bed. You just clenched your fists and took a deep breath to relax.

"Anyway, how are you feeling?" you asked out loud, faking a smile with your hands clasped between your legs so no one would see anything.

"Fuck... tired," Yuna sighed, and then she couldn't help but smile.

"And pretty fucking horny, too," Yeji chimed in, to which the other girls just nodded.

"Well, then just relax, close your eyes and let us work, okay? Massages are our specialty," you said confidently, seeing that the timer had already started, so you got down to business.

"Wow, I thought I was eating ass, this will be good" Lia said, her eyes closed, her body straight as Eric, who almost choked on the gum he just put in his mouth, reached for a bottle of massage oil from under the bed. All the other girls gave small conspiratorial laughs, and all of you just didn't say anything.

"Tell me, handsome, are there cameras here?" Ryujin asked you as you opened the jar and poured the thick liquid from her solar plexus to her lower abdomen.

"Nope, why?" you left the bottle next to her, and with your two hands you began to spread the oil all over her torso, with delicate movements that went from the sides of her abdomen to her modest but sexy tits.

"Mmm for nothing..." she murmured with a smirk, and then let out a breath as you moved your hands around her tits, teasing her nipples with your thumbs, then moving back down to her abdomen.

You knew that she, or all of them, were up to something; before laying down on the beds again they had all exchanged glances for a moment, and then Yeji released the comment with which they all laughed, you plotted on it for a moment, but you decided to concentrate.

You stood facing the upper end of the bed, Ryujin's head now very close to your crotch; you poured oil in the same place again, but this time you focused on spreading it to her shoulders and arms, for this you had to lean slightly forward, massaging her arms, her shoulders, her clavicle and then going back to her abdomen and tits until that all her upper body was shiny and oily.

You didn't notice, but apparently Ryujin had opened her eyes for a second and noticed how close your bulge was to her face, because she gave it a little kiss before you stood up again; you stared at her, but as a good girl who knew how to get away with it, she had closed her eyes again and completely dissimulated. You didn't say anything, but apparently the pattern of behavior had been repeated in all the other girls, judging from the body language of your colleagues.

You stood facing one side of the bed again, but this time on the opposite side, you grabbed the bottle again, to pour a line of oil on each thigh that went from the beginning of it to centimeters above her knee. You put the jar aside, placed your hands on each thigh, and began to spread the liquid all over her legs until they were just as shiny as her upper body.

The focus point was now her thighs, you poured in a little more oil, massaging Ryujin's left thigh and moving up until you brushed her pussy on purpose with the back of your hand, she twitched a little by the initial shock, but when you repeated the process on the other thigh, she showed no signs of discomfort, which gave you the green light to now pour oil directly onto her pubis so it ran free to her crotch, your hands went there, massaging the contours of her pussy, and as a final touch, you rubbed the palm of your hand up and down a few times on her slit.

You heard Ryujin let out a slight moan, a signal that you took to continue rubbing her pussy for a few seconds, running your fingers between her folds before returning to her hips, to massage them as if nothing had happened; she took a deep breath, and blew it out in a silent sigh that made you smile.

Two more minutes passed, in which you dedicated yourself to massaging each part of her body, with special emphasis on her thighs, her abdomen, and then her shoulders. When the clock showed that 7 minutes had already passed, you signaled to your colleagues to tell the girls to turn upside down.

"Hey cutie, face down please," you asked Ryujin in a low, soothing voice, as you heard the same commands from the other boys.

Ryujin opened her eyes to look at you for a moment before turning to see Yeji, and as she turned to face down, she met the gaze of the closest girl, who was Chaery, to nod to her and then to Yeji; they hadn't been discreet at all, in fact, you all had noticed that all five of them had silently signaled to each other, it seemed quite suspicious to you, and in fact, you knew something was about to happen.

As Ryujin turned face down, lying on top of her arms folded, you set off to do the other half of the job. You poured a long line of oil from a few inches below her neck to her lower back, and then began to spread it all over her back and shoulders, putting pressure on her lats and on her shoulder blades, you did that for a very few seconds, since you needed a more suitable position for it, but first, you dedicated yourself to pouring oil on her round ass and again on her legs, this time on the opposite side of her thighs.

You made circles on her buttocks with your two hands, going down from time to time to her thighs to keep spreading oil until soon her whole body was shiny, oily and sexy. As you continued to focus on her ass, and every few seconds on her thighs, you once again ran the side of your hand between the slippery folds of her pussy, but now moving up to lubricate her hole with your thumb as well. Ryujin's moan was a little louder this time, and she took her own steps as well, pulling one of her arms out from under her face to extend it and bring her hand right up to your cock, to squeeze it and massage it slowly.

A part of you knew it wasn't right to let her do that when absolutely everyone else could see if they wanted to, but when you saw out of the corner of your eye that Yuna had pulled Juyeon's cock out of his pants, giving him a handjob as he was massaging her lower back, the embarrassment completely gone, and you just went the easy way, standing in front of her face, pulling out your cock, and rubbing it against her lips until she caught your tip between them.

You wanted to continue doing your job despite what was happening between your legs, but the position that Ryujin adopted, with her neck raised from the bed and leaning on her elbows to comfortably take more inches of your cock, made continuing with the massage in any way impossible for you, so you just surrendered to Shin Ryujin's pretty mouth moving slowly along your shaft.

"Dude, I think we fell for these girls' trap," you heard Sunwoo gasp a few feet away from you, you turned for just a few seconds to look, finding Chaery in almost the same position as Ryujin, sucking on the boy's cock.

"Oh, you think?" you asked rhetorically, then looked down again at Ryujin, who was now holding your cock from the base, taking almost the entire length of it into her warm mouth. Soon the entire room was filled with sucking sounds coming from every direction, adorned only by your collective gasps.

Ryujin moved her neck at a pace that was already driving you crazy because of how good it felt, obviously you didn't know them, but you could safely say that they had experience, and that they knew exactly what they did and how they did it; she took you out of her mouth for a moment, to spit all the saliva accumulated in her mouth back into your shaft and jerk you off with a wicked smile.

"Have you already planned all this?" you gasped, as you watched her.

"Not really, but you made us very fucking horny when you ate our pussies," she stopped talking to lick your cock from below, and then give your balls a few short sucks, "besides we know how to communicate well without even saying anything, you guys are pretty clueless."

Yes, you already noticed.

She guided you back into her mouth, and knowing she didn't have to worry about being discreet, she began to give you a rather sloppy blowjob, taking almost the entire length of your cock with each pump of her head. You placed your hand on her head, letting out small moans to indicate to her that she was doing an amazing job.

As if her mouth wasn't enough, she also added her hand to the game, moving it along with her lips with each fierce pump of her head.

"I can't," she said getting off the bed, "sucking a dick like that is too uncomfortable," she knelt down next to you, and you turned to grab her head and put your cock back in her mouth.

Ryujin didn't put up any resistance, in fact, you noticed a certain complacency in the dominance that you showed by grabbing her head like that, that led you to grab a handful of her short hair and make her resume the messy blowjob she was giving you. The other girls had also adapted to different positions, Yuna was still on the bed, but with her back arched and her butt lifted while Juyeon fucked her mouth, but the others, like Ryujin, had gotten off the bed only to get on their knees.

Saliva began to spill down the sides of Ryujin's lips, it fell straight to her legs, but they slipped straight to the ground due to how slippery her skin was.

"Wanna fuck my mouth and cum inside?" Ryujin asked as she took you out of her mouth to take a breath, her hand jerking you off at the full force of her wrist as she opened her mouth and stuck her tongue out.

"You didn't even have to ask."

You took her hand away from your cock and switched to her hand with which you grabbed her hair, then guided your shaft back into her mouth. You put your other hand back on her head, and with your grip points already established, you began to move your hips in a somewhat aggressive manner. The gagging sounds were present quickly, since with each pump you were almost hitting the girl's throat, and if before she was a disastrous mess of saliva, now she was an insignificant sex toy. The 15 minutes had passed, but none of you cared, you didn't even turn to look at the clock, you were so focused on the pleasure you were receiving that you felt like you were in a mini bubble.

You weren’t far from your orgasm, in fact, as the seconds passed you felt how your body gave you stronger and stronger indications that it was going to happen at any moment; you kept moving your hips, fucking Ryujin's beautiful face while she had her hands clasped behind her back, reinforcing the feeling you had that she specifically quite enjoyed being treated like a toy.

The seconds passed, and with a few more thrusts of your hips against her throat, you released all the arousal you had been accumulating since Yuna had teased you with her feet a few minutes ago, thick jets of cum completely filling Ryujin's mouth, who was doing her best to swallow it all as it kept coming out, but it was so much that inevitably some of it spilled along with your saliva onto the floor.

You moved your hips slower as you finished letting your load into her mouth, finally pulling out and for her to show you the massive pool of cum you had left on her tongue, some of it spilled out, but she quickly closed the mouth to swallow it all.

Your agitated breathing didn’t regulate until the passing of the seconds, you looked around you, to witness several types of Renaissance painting at the same time; Yuna had received the cum on her face, Lia on her ass, Yeji on her tits, and Chaery had swallowed it too, leaving not a single trace of cum anywhere.

There was silence in the room as you all processed what had just happened, only heavy gasps of exhaustion could be heard.

"What just happened here, stays here, okay?" you raised your voice, as you watched Ryujin wipe her mouth and smile mischievously, "we can be fined."

"Calm down daddy, we won't say anything," Ryujin said, still kneeling in front of you, before giving you a little kiss on the tip of your cock that made you shudder.

"Go get cleaned up and come back, please, we still have something to do," you pointed towards the bathroom, which luckily was big enough for all of them to enter.

They all stood up and walked straight to the bathroom giggling, while you guys had to go the old-fashioned way and use clean towels to clean yourselves.

“These girls really are… wow,” you heard Juyeon say.

“I'm going to pretend I didn't see y'all's dick, I hope you do the same,” Sangyeon said, looking as good as new and cleaning up his work area.

"Count on it," Eric replied, doing the same.

Minutes passed, and again one by one they came out of the bathroom, completely clean and ready for the last activity. You had already organized your entire area, and had even cleaned the floor where you had been with Ryujin before.

"Okay, I think you know what to do now, so come here, Chaery," you called to her, and she obediently walked towards you with her hands behind her back.

"Uh… hi," she greeted you with a little curtsy and a sheepish smile, not at all looking like there should be cum on her stomach right now.

"Hello, Chaery, it's my pleasure," you smiled, noticing a clear difference in personality between her and the others, "have you decided what you want to repeat yet?"

"Oh, yes, and the truth is that I have a special request for you," she began to play with her fingers, a little nervous.

"Really? And what is it?"

"I want the same massage, face down, a moment ago I couldn't enjoy it because well... you know."

"Oh, that's not a problem-"

"But I want you to finger my ass at the same time."

You almost choked on your own saliva. Who was going to say that such a shy and reserved girl would ask for something like that.

"Well… yes, we can do that," you agreed, "lie down then, please."

"Your sister recommended this place to you, didn't she?" you asked Chaery as you began to pour some more oil over her body to renew the layer she already had. Chaeyeon had been a client of yours for a long time, in fact, she was one of the first idols to go to that place.

"Oh yeah," she replied, completely relaxed, "she recommended it to us when we got back from our tour."

"A lot of stress?" you started massaging her back, and then her hips.

"You have no idea," she sighed, "it's always great to see our fans, but it's very exhausting."

"I get it… well, I think you came to the right place," you couldn't help but giggle as you now focused on her legs.

"Yes, you guys are wonderful, thank you very much," you looked at her face, seeing that she had a small smile that made you die of tenderness.

"Hey, that's very sweet of you, thanks."

"Anyway, I don't have a preference yet," she shrugged.

"Oh yeah? But who could it be?" you asked flirtatiously, now massaging her firm ass which by the way, you had to say was the best of all of them.

"I don't know, we'll find out…"

You didn't respond anymore, instead, while you traced circles with your hands on her buttocks, you let one of your thumbs escape completely on purpose towards her ass, where you only had to apply a little pressure for it to enter completely and without resistance inside her; Chaery let out an adorable moan, but you stuck your thumb out again, and continued to massage her ass and her thighs for a few seconds.

When she least expected it, you slipped your middle finger inside her again, this time moving it in and out of her for a moment before adding your ring finger; she let out a more pronounced moan, and you began to move your wrist at a medium pace.

You noticed that her hole was perfectly used to having things inside, that combined with the fact that the oil lubrication was perfect, made your fingers go in and out without any problem. Chaery started moaning more often, and you realized right away that this was her main kink.

You squeezed one of her buttocks with your free hand, and then you started moving your wrist as fast as you could, making the room fill with the sounds of your palm crashing against her flesh. She couldn't help but get out of position, she had raised her left knee a little, and she was holding on to the sides of the bed with her fingers.

She was already moaning too loud, so you just took your free hand to her mouth and offered your two fingers to suck on, and that's how it was, she accepted them delighted, sucking and moaning on them while you fucked her ass with your other hand.

It didn't take long until between each intense pump of your fingers inside her, she had an very strong orgasm that made her shudder and spasm, your fingers came out of her mouth, but to drown out her moans she only bit her own forearm with such strength that left her teeth marked on her skin. When she passed her orgasm, you just smiled and took your fingers out of her ass, to resume the massage as if nothing had happened.

"T-thanks..." she muttered, looking over her shoulder at you with weak eyes, then dropping her face back into her arms.

"Do you already have a preference?" you asked, raising an eyebrow, massaging the sides of her thighs.

"Yes... you," she managed to say before beginning to take a small nap.

The remaining minutes passed peacefully, apparently the rest of the girls had opted for the same activity to repeat without any other particularity, the only exception was Yuna, who wanted her pussy eaten once more, but everything was quieter than expected. you expected

When the 15 minutes were up, you lightly shook Chaery's shoulder to wake her up, she slowly got up, then rubbed her eyes as she sat up in bed.

"Ladies, we've come to the end of this session, I'd like to thank you all for choosing us," you bowed to them with a small smile, "you're free to go wash up and get dressed again."

"Thank you guys so much," the leader Yeji thanked, returning the bow, "it won't be the last time you see us here, don't worry if you miss us," she winked at you, then led her girls to the bathroom.

You stayed to clean and organize everything one more time, and when you finished, you left the room to go to the receptionist and fill out the corresponding report to bring everything in order. While you were waiting outside, since it was break time, the girls came out dressed again, saying goodbye to y’all with little bows and friendly smiles.

"Hey, can I talk to you for a minute?" Yeji told you before walking out the door, "outside," you exchanged glances with Sunwoo, who raised her eyebrows and gestured for you to go with her.

"Of course," you agreed, walking outside with them, "what's wrong?"

"Well... we were talking while we got dressed," she looked at the others for a moment, and then at you, "and we came to a conclusion."

"Conclusion?" you asked confused.

"Yes, you were our favorite, in all phases, and we want you to give us… additional services… in our dorm."

——————————————————————————

Spren Notes:

Remember when I said that Erinyes was my most ambitious work to date? Well, I think this shits on that piece completely. I must give special thanks, with all my heart, to the guy who trusted me to carry out his idea! If you're reading this, I hope you loved it buddy!

If you, dear reader, are also interested in buying me a commission, do not hesitate to go through my inbox, I’ll be delighted!

#itzy smut #smut #chaeryeong smut #yeji smut #ryujin smut #lia smut #yuna smut #kpop smut #itzy fanfic #male reader smut #male reader insert #x male reader #girl group smut

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yelena-bellova · 1 year

Text

Twenty Years Later: Joel Miller x F!Reader - Chapter Six

Chapter Six: Road Trip

Plot: Joel, Y/n and Ellie continue to make their way cross country, and Joel and Y/n’s truce is heavily tested.

Warnings: tlou ep.4 spoilers, language, insinuation of killing, mention of a p*rn magazine, guns, (16+)

Word Count: 7.1k

A/N: This chapter feels like filler, but there’s still lil’ nuggets that will come into play later. Thanks to HBO for throwing that curveball of a Friday episode, now I gotta hustle to get the next chapter out within two days 😂

As always, this series is 16+ and I will not be tagging anyone who does not have their age in their bio. Gotta look out for younger eyes 👀

I hope you all enjoy this one and prepare for the next one because….anyway, enjoy!

———————

June 2nd, 2002. Austin, Texas.

——————

Joel and Y/n had gone out for three weeks, equaling a total five dates. Between their respective work schedules and Joel being a parent, they had to get creative if they wanted to see each other. They’d meet on their lunch breaks or, if they were too busy, Joel would stop by the hardware store in dire need of help finding something and only Y/n could possibly help him. It gave them a good twenty minutes or so to wander the aisles together.

On a particularly slow Tuesday afternoon, Y/n was doing inventory. Joel and her had made plans to grab coffee on his way home and she was counting down the hours till he came through the door.

A small voice broke her out of her daydreams, “Excuse me?”

Y/n turned and met the face of a girl, no older than maybe thirteen. She had dark skin and a head full of curls pulled back with a scrunchie. She looked slightly out of breath, but determined.

“How can I help you?” Y/n asked curiously.

“Are you Y/n?”

She confusedly furrowed her brows, “Yeah…”

The girl huffed with a grin, “Okay, good. I asked, like, three other people where you were and they had no idea.”

Y/n awkwardly smiled along with her, “C-can I ask how you know my name?”

“Oh,” the girl snapped back to the current conversation, “I’m Sarah.”

“Sarah…” Y/n repeated, wracking her mental index of high school friend’s kids, before it hit her. Her eyes widened, “Wait…Sarah…Miller?”

She nodded, “Yeah.”

Y/n’s body locked up, to say she was surprised was an understatement. Joel had told her that he wanted to wait a while before introducing her to Sarah. He hadn’t had a serious girlfriend since Sarah’s mom and was trying to figure out the best way for them to meet. Y/n hadn’t taken any offense, she’d supported it, actually. She’d never dated anyone with a kid and she wanted to do everything as close to perfect as she could.

“D-does your-“ Y/n braced herself against her inventory cart, “Does your dad know you’re here?”

Sarah’s mouth twisted, “Not exactly.”

“Uh-huh,” Y/n replied, suspicious, “And not exactly means…?”

“Not at all,” Sarah nervously smiled.

Y/n gathered the little oxygen left in her body and laughed. “How did you get down here if you’re by yourself?”

Sarah shrugged, “I took the bus.”

“Ah,” Y/n nodded, “And you ride the bus alone without your dad’s permission a lot?”

The girl gave a guilty smile and balanced on the heels of her Converse. It was all the answer Y/n needed.

“So, why are you here?” Y/n asked, feeling like she was doing something wrong.

Sarah sighed, “I got tired of waiting for my dad to introduce me to you. I’ve asked him, like, ten times and he keeps saying no. I knew you worked here so…I figured this was the only way I could meet you.”

Y/n couldn’t help but be a little touched, and also terrified. She was more nervous about impressing Sarah than she had been Joel.

“I mean,” Y/n rubbed her forehead, “Yeah, I knew your dad was waiting to introduce us but…I didn’t realize his daughter was a secret mastermind.”

“Oh, you have no idea,” Sarah smiled, resting a hand on Y/n’s cart, “So…you’re dating my dad.”

Y/n nodded, “Seems that way, yeah.”

“Well, he really likes you,” Sarah replied, “Like, really likes you. He’s in a way better mood than usual.”

“Is he now?” Y/n inquired.

“He’s smiling all the time, he’s cooking,” Sarah’s face turned serious, “Which never happens ‘cause he kinda sucks at it. He’s even singing.”

Y/n raised an eyebrow, “Singing?”

Sarah nodded, “Uh-huh. Just under his breath, but still…”

Y/n was trying hard to restrain her grin, but Sarah was making it difficult. It was nice to know Joel was as uplifted by their short time together as she was. She’d practically been floating down the aisles.

“He’s just never this happy and…” Sarah shrugged one arm, “I really wanted to meet whoever was responsible.”

“Well,” Y/n smiled, “Your dad’s pretty great. And he loves you, never stops talking about how well you’re doing in school and in soccer…”

Sarah’s posture visibly improved upon hearing the compliments.

“Look, my dad’s never going to work up the nerve to let us all hang out together,” Sarah began to explain, “But the county fair’s on Friday night, me, him and Uncle Tommy are gonna go and it would be really fun if you came.”

Y/n inhaled deeply, a family outing. Was she ready for that? Were her and Joel at that point?

“I don’t know, Sarah,” she hesitate, “I should really talk to your dad first.”

“No,” Sarah urged, taking hold of one of Y/n’s hands, “He’ll just get all squirmy and frown and say that it’s not time yet.”

Y/n thought for a second, “He does frown a lot.”

“A lot,” Sarah chortled, Y/n joining in soon after, “Just think about it. Please?”

Y/n was between a rock and a hard place, or rather, the guy she was dating and his crafty daughter. She wanted Sarah to like her and they were already a step in the right direction. She didn’t want to blow it.

“Okay,” she relented, “I’ll think about it.”

“Yes,” Sarah cheered under her breath, still holding onto Y/n’s hand. “I gotta go, the bus is gonna be back any minute.”

As she moved to go, Y/n took a step forward. “I-I really don’t like the thought of you on the bus by yourself,” she objected, “Why don’t I drive you?”

“But you’re working,” Sarah replied.

Y/n gestured to the empty space around them. “I think they’ll survive without me for twenty minutes.”

Sarah gave a small smile, she was getting to spend more time with the woman she had a million questions about. Sneaking around had paid off substantially.

“Come on,” Y/n removed her apron, draped it across her cart and pulled her keys from her pocket, “You can tell me what your dad’s been singing on the way.”

The two girls headed out of the store, giggling to themselves as Sarah did an impression of her father humming old country tunes to himself while washing dishes.

—————————

Later that afternoon, Joel arrived to pick Y/n up for their quick coffee. When he arrived, she was nowhere to be found. After asking around, and finding out she had stepped out momentarily, he decided to wait at the empty checkout line for her.

Y/n walked back into the store with a new spring in her step. Sarah had not only spilled a lot of dirt on Joel, but she had talked about herself a lot. Y/n felt like she’d already been able to make a connection.

Joel spotted her before she did him, waving a little to catch her eye.

“Hey,” Y/n greeted, apprehension taking over.

“Hey,” Joel replied, his smiling fading the closer he got, “What’s that look?”

“What look?” Y/n asked, unaware of how nervous she appeared.

“You look like a kid with their hand caught in the cookie jar,” Joel smirked, taking her hand lightly into his, “What’s going on?”

Y/n sighed, she’d been trying to figure out how to broach the subject of Sarah all the way back to the store. Joel’s gentle touch was only heightening her nerves. “Why don’t I drive us to coffee?”

Joel squinted in confusion, “Okay…”

The two of them drove off in Y/n’s old Toyota, but she waited until they had their drinks in hand and were walking down the main street to start talking.

“So Sarah came by today,” she blurted out.

Joel nearly choked on the sip he’d been taking, ��My Sarah?”

“Uh-huh,” Y/n nodded, anxiously holding the cup close to her chest.

“H-how’d she get down the-“ Joel began to ask before pressing his lips together and shutting his eyes, “She took the bus, didn’t she?”

“Yep,” Y/n answered.

Joel sighed, he was already starting to find grey hairs across his head. Sarah was going to turn the whole thing silver before she was 16.

“She said she was tired of waiting for you to introduce us so she was going to do it herself,” Y/n retold the story.

“Yeah, sounds like her…” Joel replied with a loud sigh, “Look, I know you wanted to meet her-“

“Yeah, but I was perfectly fine with waiting,” Y/n was quick to say, “You said you wanted to do this the right way.”

“Yeah, well, the right way was decided for us,” Joel sighed, rubbing a hand over his face. “So what’d you two talk about?”

Y/n smirked over her coffee cup, details of the conversation still fresh in her mind. “Girl stuff,” she answered, quickly taking a drink.

“Why don’t I believe you?” Joel asked with an eyebrow cocked.

“She, uh, she invited me to the fair this weekend,” Y/n changed topics, “With you guys.”

“Ah,” Joel nodded, he didn’t know whether or not to thank Sarah for speeding his relationship up. Lord knows, he was too nervous to do it.

Y/n held a hand up to Joel, “But I didn’t give her an answer. I wanted to talk to you first.”

With the obstacle of Sarah’s approval out of the way, there was nothing to stop him from saying yes. And he didn’t want there to be, he was just used to using excessive caution around his family that anything else felt unnatural.

“You should come,” Joel answered, turning to Y/n with a shy smile.

Y/n inched back a little, placing her hand on Joel’s arm, “Are you sure? Joel, I don’t want to insert myself anywhere.”

“How can you insert yourself somewhere you were invited?” Joel replied, settling his hand over Y/n’s, “Come.”

Taking a deep breath, Y/n knew that this was a big step for them. Joel’s daughter was his world, and Y/n was being given the privilege of being a part of it.

She blew out her cheeks, “Okay.”

Joel’s smile was earnest, rubbing his thumb over the back of Y/n’s hand.

“If all goes well, I won’t have to hide you so much,” he said.

“Yeah, I don’t think you’re doing that great a job,” Y/n chuckled at Joel’s confusion, “Johnny Cash?”

Joel’s face turned sour, “Can’t believe she told you ‘bout that.”

“Hey, I thought it was a cute story,” Y/n held her hands up in surrender, “Your daughter thought it was a laugh riot.”

Joel lightly rolled his eyes, letting them rest afterwards on Y/n’s face. A stray bit of hair had fallen in her face, thanks to the breeze, and Joel brushed it away, cupping her cheek.

Joel and Y/n had made the decision that they wouldn’t take their relationship any further without having Sarah’s approval. They had yet to even kiss.

“If this works out,” Y/n started, “You’re not gonna be able to get rid of me.”

“Who says I want to?” Joel muttered, their close proximity allowed him to lower his voice.

They both knew if they stayed in the moment a second longer, their wills could cave. Y/n shoved her coffee cup between their mouths, allowing them both a breathy laugh.

“Come on,” Joel reached down and clasped Y/n’s hand, “I gotcha for a little while longer.”

The two of them walked off into the Austin evening, savoring every short second they got together.

—————

2023. Somewhere in rural America.

Joel, Ellie and Y/n had been driving for one day and no one had yet to end up in a body bag. A win if ever there were one.

That wasn’t to say they hadn’t come close. Joel and Y/n’s truce was an uneasy one and with the promise made to Ellie that they’d get along, their arguments had phased to thin lipped smiles barely concealing their disdain for one another. Still, their guns had stayed in the holsters. That was progress.

Joel pulled over at an abandoned gas station somewhere, needing to refuel. Ellie headed off to the bathrooms while Y/n and Joel went about setting up the siphon.

As Y/n handed Joel a rag, she noticed the state of his hand. It was still healing, and after using it so much in one day, it was beginning to shake.

48 hours ago, she would have let him suffer, but in the interest of a truce…

“Here,” she scooted closer, taking the siphon into her hand.

“I got it,” Joel protested.

“I know you do,” she placated him, gently prying his hand off the device, “Now move.”

She inched him out of the way and took over attaching the device. Joel crouched next to her in the dust, he felt useless if he wasn’t working.

Footsteps signaled that Ellie was coming back. She glanced over the abandoned car at Y/n and Joel.

“We have to do this every hour?”

“Gas breaks down over time,” Joel answered, “This stuff’s almost water. Back in the day, we’d drive 10, 12 hours on one tank. You could go anywhere.”

“So where’d you go?” Ellie asked.

Y/n continued working, bouncing the memories off that threatened to stick in her mind.

“Pretty much nowhere,” Joel answered, it was technically the truth, but so there was unclaimed life resting in his ‘pretty much.’

Y/n huffed a large breath into the siphon, the gasoline dripping into their canister.

“Nice,” Ellie complimented, “How does that work?”

“It’s a siphon,” Joel explained as Y/n monitored their levels, “It’s when liquid…travels against gravity because pressure-“

Ellie nodded smugly, “You don’t know.”

“I know it works,” Joel quickly replied.

Y/n smirked and looked over her shoulder, “Please teach us more about physics, professor.”

Joel frowned at his ex before turning his attention back to a walking Ellie, “No wandering.”

Ellie thought a moment, “Okay,” she went into her backpack, “This is your fault then.”

She whipped out a small paperback that made Y/n shut her eyes in exhaustion. “Oh, sweet Moses, not that book…” she muttered.

Joel started to speak, “Wha-“

“‘It doesn’t matter how much you push the envelope,’” Ellie recited, “‘It’ll still be stationary.’”

Joel blinked, Y/n let her forehead rest against the car.

“‘No Pun Intended: Volume Too’ by Will Livingston,” Ellie held up the book to Joel, “Volume Too. Look, you get it? Too? Like t-o-o?”

Joel mumbled something under his breath and got up.

“‘What did the mermaid wear to her math class?’” Ellie asked her captive audience, building tension in the silence, “‘An algae bra,” she laughed, “Like algae bra. ‘I stayed up all night-“

“No,” Joel shook his head, like that word carried an ounce of power with Ellie.

“‘Wondering where the sun went,” the girl continued, “‘And then it dawned on me.”

“Feel free to wait in the truck,” Joel suggested, crossing his arms across his chest.

“Well, Y/n thought it was funny,” Ellie retorted, she’d tested the jokes our on her watcher back in the QZ.

“I laughed at one out of, like, fifteen, Ellie,” Y/n grunted as she got to her feet, “That’s not the win you think it is.”

“Okay, but just know,” Ellie held up the book again, “You can’t escape Will Livingston. He’ll be back. There’s nothing you can do to stop him.”

Ellie took her backpack and her jokes and walked back to the Chevy, leaving Joel and Y/n by themselves.

“You get that book,” Joel started, trying to break the silence, “I’ll roll down the window.”

“Oh, that’s not even the worst of ‘em,” Y/n replied, wiggling the toe of her boot into the ground, “But they make her smile. Like I’m in any position to put a stop to that.”

Joel glanced over at Y/n, taking a temperature reading of her once again. It was hard to see so much of the person you’d once loved with your whole heart mixed with who they’d become. Every once in a while, he got flashes of his ex-girlfriend in the light she used to radiate. But something inevitably came through and blew out her flame. More than often, all it took was his mere presence.

“We should be good,” he said, changing his train of thought and kneeling down to pack up the siphon.

Y/n took the gas they’d collected and carried it back to the truck. Heavy as it was, she wasn’t about to ask Joel to help her. She’d lived through twenty years of their dystopian hell-space, a gas can wasn’t about to best her.

Once the truck was filled up, Joel and Y/n hopped in the front seats with Ellie sitting in the back.

“Must’ve been some truck,” Ellie commented, staring out the back window at the fleet deserted vehicles.

“Yeah, they used to stick big-ass plows on them and clear the roads for their tanks and such,” Joel said.

Ellie spun around in her seat, “I wanna see a tank!”

“You will,” Joel replied, “Tanks, choppers, all that stuff. But they’ll fight the wrong enemy. Just scattered around now.”

By now, Joel was background noise to Ellie as she dug around the back of Bill’s truck.

“I got somethin’,” she announced proudly, waving another cassette tape in between Y/n and Joel. “Here, does this make you all nostalgic?”

Joel took the tape from her, it was Hank Williams. Y/n and him shared a sideways glance, if Ellie had any musical knowledge, they’d have been insulted.

“This is actually before our time,” Joel handled the cassette.

“Great,” Ellie settled back in her seat, unamused.

“Doesn’t mean it’s not good,” Y/n stated, watching Joel pop the tape into the player and adjust the volume.

The speakers flooded with the warm sounds of the country legend. Something about it made both Joel and Y/n relax into their seats a little more.

“Oh, man,” Joel mumbled to himself, briefly closing his eyes and letting the music wash over him.

“Yeah,” Y/n absentmindedly replied, staring out her window.

“Got somethin’ else,” Ellie announced, the sounds of magazine pages flipping behind Joel and Y/n, “It’s, uh, light on the reading, but it has some interesting pictures.”

Y/n and Joel peered into the dashboard mirror, catching a graphic cover. Their protests overlapped.

“Oh, no, no, no, put that back.”

“Ellie, don’t read that.”

“That’s not for kids, Ellie.”

“There’s nothing you need to see-“

Ellie opened up the centerfold of the x-rated magazine, her jaw dropping at the sight, “How would he even walk around with that thing?”

“Ellie,” Y/n unbuckled her seat belt, flipping around in her chair and stretching into the backseat, “Put it back.”

The girl slid to Joel’s side of the truck, too far away for Y/n to reach. “Hold you horses,” she argued, “I wanna see what all the fuss is about.”

While Joel watched nervously through the mirror, Y/n was not so easily defeated. She kept clawing at the air, trying to rip the magazine out of Ellie’s hands. Ellie turned away just enough so Y/n’s fingertips barely touched the paper.

“Why are all the pages stuck together?” Ellie asked.

“Uh,” Joel elongated, unsure of what to do, “The-“

“I’m just fuckin’ with you,” Ellie burst into laughter, reaching past Y/n and slapping Joel’s shoulder with the magazine.

Y/n slid back into her seat, moving as far away as she could from Joel’s shoulder.

Ellie unrolled the back window, the whipping winds blowing through the truck. She tossed the magazine out with a grin, “Bye-bye, dude!”

Y/n sighed and put her hand to her temple, nearly laughing at the absurdity of the moment.

They drove for most of the day, answering Ellie’s occasional question, but mostly sitting in silence. Somberness would fall over the truck whenever they passed by some piece of the old world, ruined and rusted by time. They drove by an abandoned amusement park, a rickety coaster still standing. A sign for what used to be a Love’s truck stop. A bridge that had collapsed at some point in the last two decades. To Ellie, it was a lost future. To Joel and Y/n, it was the world they didn’t know if they’d ever see again.

When the skies grew began to grow dark, there wasn’t much driving left for them to do.

“All right,” Joel announced to the truck, “That’s enough for the day.”

One part of their agreement was that Y/n would trust Joel’s ability to get them to Wyoming. Her rebellion against his every word made her want to argue that they could go a little longer, but she was trying to keep up her end of the deal.

Joel pulled off the main road and drove them into the nearby forest. They set up camp deep enough that they were hidden, but close enough to the road to escape quickly, should the need arise. Joel and Y/n took care of preparing dinner, using a portable stove and cutlery they’d taken from Bill’s house.

Eventually, they all sat down to a lukewarm meal of ravioli. Ellie practically inhaled it while Joel and Y/n tried to make it last.

“Slow down,” Joel cautioned.

“This is slow,” Ellie replied with a full mouth, “What am I even eating?”

“That is 20-year-old Chef Boyardee ravioli,” Joel answered.

“That guy was good,” Ellie complimented, stuffing another piece in her mouth.

Joel stared down at his meal, “I actually agree.”

Y/n swirled a piece around her plate, “It’s technically food.”

“How long are we staying out here?” Ellie inquired.

“I figure I sleep tonight,” Joel answered, “And drive tomorrow, all day, all night, and get us to Wyoming by next mornin’.”

“You know I can take a shift, right?” Y/n asked, Joel’s stony silence served as his reply, “Ah, so you do know and you’re choosing to ignore it.”

“In the interest of gettin’ us there the quickest, it’s better I drive,” he stated.

“Yes, navigating a highway,” Y/n retorted, taking a sarcastic tone, “That’s men’s work.”

“What happened to getting along?” Ellie smirked as she watched the exchange.

Joel and Y/n glanced over at her and backed down. They had to watch themselves.

“So can we start a fire?” Ellie changed the subject, “I’m freezing.”

“Now, why am I gonna tell you no?” Joel replied shortly.

Ellie shrugged in defeat, “Because Infected will see the smoke.”

“No, fungus isn’t that smart,” Joel said, “This is too remote for Infected, anyway.”

“People?” Ellie came back with.

Joel nodded.

“So what are they gonna do? Rob us?”

“Oh, they’ll have way more in mind than that,” Joel answered, never once looking up from his plate.

Y/n had lived a vastly different life than Joel had, post apocalypse, but she knew the horrors people willingly committed against each other. Being cold for a night was the ideal.

Once the sun set, the three of them rolled out their sleeping bags, another courtesy of Bill and Frank, and set up for the night. Y/n laid her head next to Ellie’s, while Joel stayed on the complete opposite side of them.

Ellie took a whiff of the inside of her bag, “Actually smells kinda good.”

“Well, that would be Frank’s then,” Joel quipped.

“If mine smells like gunpowder,” Y/n held her sleeping bag up, “I’m gonna assume-“

“Bill,” Joel took no time in answering.

Y/n nodded, “Copy that.”

Before they could lay down for the night, Joel and Y/n made a point of each checking their shotguns and laying them at their sides.

Ellie and Y/n nestled into their accommodations beside one another, Ellie pulling something out of her backpack before switching the lantern off and turning on her flashlight. Y/n’s back was turned, or else she would have put a stop to what was about to happen

“Joel?” Ellie eventually called out, “Y/n? Joel?”

“What?” Joel jumped to attention, he still moved with the urgency of a father.

Y/n turned over, “What is it?”

“Can I ask you a serious question?”

“Yeah,” Joel said for both of them.

Ellie sighed deeply, “‘Why did the scarecrow get an award?’”

Y/n and Joel both looked over at the same time to shoot Ellie a glare. She kept a straight face as if she really needed the answer.

“Because he was outstanding in his field,” Joel answered.

Y/n groaned, “Oh, God, there’s two of you.”

“You dick,” Ellie laughed, “Did you read this?”

“No,” Joel turned over, smirking only to himself, “Now go to sleep.”

Ellie victoriously smiled, having successfully chipped away at a little bit of the ice man’s exterior.

“Admit it,” Ellie whispered to Y/n, “You like them.”

“I will smother you in your sleep,” Y/n mumbled into her pillow. She’d never admit to cracking a smile.

They had just settled back into the sleepy silence when Ellie spoke up again, this time truly serious.

“Those people you said…there’s no way anyone knows we’re here, right? No one’s gonna find us.”

Joel and Y/n both stiffened, they could only guarantee so much. Where they were was as close to safe as they could get. But that wasn’t something you told a scared kid who wouldn’t admit to being scared. You gave them hope, confidence.

“No one’s gonna find us,” Joel confirmed.

“Okay,” Ellie accepted the answer and flipped over.

Y/n lay on her back, staring up at the stars. Her paranoia had softened the longer she survived, but laying in the middle of the open woods with a big flashing red sign above that read ‘FREE KILL HERE’ was resuscitating it.

A few feet away, Joel was feeling the same thing. He couldn’t pretend like he was fearless leaving himself completely vulnerable. And now that he knew Ellie was nervous, it only woke him up further. He eyed the shotgun, calculating in his head how little sleep he could make the drive on. If he counted on Y/n to take one of the shifts, they could still make good time…

They both unzipped their sleeping bags at the same time, turning to one another in the dark. No matter how hard they tried, they were on the same wavelength.

Y/n sighed, “You take the first shift?”

Joel’s nod had a heaviness to it, “Yeah.”

Y/n settled back onto her side, this time facing where Joel was heading to take up his post. She fell into an uneasy sleep, only after keeping watch over Joel until her exhaustion forced her to stop.

——————

It was a few hours later, Joel eyelids were beginning to droop. His ears were beginning to ring. He needed sleep.

After doing one last scan of the area, he walked back to their campsite. He came over to Y/n’s sleeping bag, ready to wake her, but stopped.

He stared down at her, her lips slightly parted, her hair framing her face and her lashes fanned across her cheeks. The frown she carried throughout the day faded in sleep, softening to a content expression as if she was between the bliss of unconsciousness and the evil of the waking world. It was the most at peace Joel had seen her in the last few days.

He couldn’t bring himself to wake her up.

She’d be mad at him in the morning, he knew it. She’d berate him for thinking he didn’t need her and probably make a crack about him falling asleep at the wheel. That was fine, he thought as he went back to his post, he’d take it. Anger and nostalgia were waging a battle within him, and right now, he was allowing his wistful memories to win.

——————

Y/n woke up to the smell of coffee brewing and the rustling of something in their truck. Seeing that Joel wasn’t in his sleeping bag, she grabbed her shotgun and bolted upright. The barrel of the weapon found Joel, packing up the truck, cocking a brow at her.

Y/n exhaled and set down her gun, running a relieved hand over her face. “You didn’t wake me up,” she said when she came to fully.

“I had it covered,” Joel said softly, not wanting to wake Ellie yet.

“I didn’t ask that,” Y/n replied as she stretched, already annoyed with him. She rolled out of her sleeping bag and got to her feet. “Well, I’m driving this morning. I’m not ending up dead just because you’re stubborn.”

Joel didn’t look up as he tied his sleeping bag up. Right on cue.

“Coffee’s on,” he changed the subject.

Y/n felt like Joel knew that would distract her enough to move on. He wasn’t wrong. She reached over to grab her backpack, feeling around for her travel mug. Her hand graced the plastic butterfly she’d taken from Joel’s apartment, freezing as she did.

Grief, much like heartbreak, had to be danced around. If you got too close, self destruction would swallow you whole. Y/n collected her thoughts and led them back to where she was, quickly finding her mug and zipping the pack up again.

Ellie rolled over, awake finally, and sniffed the air. She scooted over to where Joel had the coffee boiling and carefully opened the lid.

“Ugh,” she gagged, “What the fuck is that?”

Joel turned to her, “You don’t like coffee?”

Ellie grimaced, watching the bubbling brew a second longer before throwing the lid back down and rolling back onto her pillow.

“Uh-uh,” Y/n shook her head, nudging Ellie with her boot, “Up and at ‘em, come on.”

Ellie stuck her middle finger out, “Fuck you, man.”

“Up,” Y/n repeated, tugging on the bottom of Ellie’s sleeping bag.

The girl moaned and sat up, glaring at Y/n, who went to pour her mug of coffee. Whether it was the first sip of caffeine shifting her mood or she simply was making an effort, she wasn’t sure, but when Joel walked over with his mug, Y/n poured it for him.

“Thanks,” Joel mumbled, “Why don’t I drive for three hours, you take over after?”

“Two,” Y/n countered, “Those bags under your eyes make you look like you’re in a fucking Tim Burton movie.”

Joel sighed, remembering the truce. “Fine.”

Y/n and Joel finished packing up their supplies and the three of them were back on the road in minutes.

“Is that what the Starbucks in the QZ used to sell?” Ellie asked, eyeing Joel’s mug.

“Well, there’s was a lot fresher than what Bill saved up, but yeah,” Joel answered, “This is what they sold.”

“The world used to run on this stuff,” Y/n added.

“Smells like burnt shit,” Ellie mused, smirking over at Joel.

Joel, straight faced as could be, raised his mug and took a big slurping sip. Y/n bit down on her lip to keep from rewarding him a laugh.

“Eyes on the map,” Joel ordered.

“76 west and then 70 west for, like, ever…” Ellie read, Y/n had taught her how to navigate directions and she was still getting the hang of it.

“Where in Wyoming did you say your brother was?” Ellie asked Joel.

“Last contact came through a radio tower close to Cody,” Joel answered.

Ellie scanned the map, “Cody. Cody…Cody…ah, man. That is deep up in there.”

Y/n peekd over Ellie’s shoulder to take a look, “Do you know where he would have gone other than there?”

“Odds are he’ll be near a settlement,” Joel answered, “Probably close to another city out there. Ain’t too many of ‘em in Wyoming.”

The second part of his reply was meant more for Ellie. She was getting a crash course in geography.

“Chee-Yen,” she read off.

“Cheyenne,” Joel corrected, he’d studied that map so intensively that he could have found his way around the state blindfolded.

“Chey- really?” Ellie double checked before reading again, “Cheyenne…Laramie…Casper? What’s his name?”

“Whose name?” Joel asked, avoiding the question another five seconds.

“Your brother,” Ellie replied.

Joel paused, “Tommy.”

A wave of nostalgia crashed around Y/n, hearing his name made her think of cheap beer and belly laughter.

“Younger or older?” Ellie continued to question Joel.

“Younger.”

“Why isn’t he with you?”

Joel sighed, stretching his neck out slightly, “A long story.”

“Is it longer than 25 hours? ‘Cause I think that’s what we got,” Ellie asked, turning around to Y/n, “Do you know?”

“No, I don’t,” Y/n clocked Joel in the dashboard mirror, “And if I’m risking my life to find him, I think I deserve to know.”

Joel met her eyes in a fleeting glance, she was backing him up against a wall.

“Tommy’s what we used to call a “joiner,” he began to explain, “Dreams of becomin’ a hero. So he enlisted in the Army right outta high school. A few months later, they ship him off to Desert Storm,” he allowed for Ellie’s confused gaze, “That’s what they called that war, it doesn’t matter. Point is, bein’ in the Army didn’t make him feel much like a hero. Cut to twelve years late, outbreak happens. He convinces me to join a group makin’ their way up to Boston, which I did…mostly to keep an eye on him, keep him alive.”

Y/n’s stomach turned, she wasn’t just hearing about what had become of Tommy…she was hearing about what had happened to Joel after they broke up. Gaps she’d wanted filled for twenty years.

“It’s where we met Tess,” Joel continued, breaking for a sip of coffee, “And that whole crew, we, uh…well, for what it was, it worked. And then Tommy meets Marlene. She talks him into joinin’ the Fireflies. Same mistake he made when he was eighteen,” Joel’s tone turned bitter, his voice quivering an almost undetectable amount, “Wants to save the world. Pipe dream. Him. Fireflies, all of ‘em…” he didn’t dare meet Y/n’s eyes, “Delusional.”

Y/n lifted her feet up and hugged her knees, she knew the remark was meant for both her and Tommy. And while her anger with Joel hadn’t lost its momentum, she let him continue. He needed to get it all out.

“‘Course last I heard, he quit the Fireflies too,” Joel went on, “So now he’s on his own out there, and…I gotta go get him.”

The car was washed in a somber silence. Only one of them was brave enough to break it.

“If you don’t think there’s hope for the world,” Ellie said, “Why bother going on? I mean, you gotta try, right?”

“You haven’t seen the world,” Joel said, a little wistful, “So you don’t know. You keep goin’ for family. That’s about it.”

The five words pierced through Y/n’s heart, the wooden arrow splintering inside the chambers. Each syllable was like taking a knife to the carefully placed stitches around her soul.

“I’m not family,” Ellie said, blissfully unaware of the situation surrounding her.

“No,” Joel agreed, “You’re cargo. And I made a promise to Tess. And she was like family.”

Numbness set in and Y/n rested her head against the window, focusing on the rolling fields of rural America. If Ellie wasn’t in the car, she would have let herself go off on Joel, but it wasn’t the time.

“What if you don’t find him?” Ellie asked the man.

“I will,” Joel replied,

“How do you know?”

“I’m persistent,” Joel stated before switching gears, “You got up pretty early, if you wanna grab more sleep.”

Ellie scoffed, “I’m not even tired.”

Within a few minutes, Ellie was beginning to doze off. Y/n gently tapped her shoulder, gesturing for her to climb into the backseat. She helped pull her through and Ellie settled against the opposite window.

Joel drove them for an hour in silence before Y/n couldn’t stand being still anymore.

“Pull over,” she told him, “Let’s switch.”

Joel was tired enough to listen to her, stopping the car in the middle of the road. They unbuckled and got out, meeting at the front.

“You’re wrong, you know,” Y/n said once they were face to face, “About Tommy, about the Fireflies…all of it.”

“You wanna prove me wrong, have at it,” Joel replied, disgruntled by the whole idea.

“Tommy wanting to be a hero is him wanting to help people,” Y/n kept going, “To fight. To do the right thing. When has that ever been a bad thing?”

Joel nearly scoffed, “Maybe when it gets him killed.”

“If he’s still here after all these years, maybe you need to stop looking at him like he’s some idiot kid. You don’t get to judge the people who are trying to get some of this,” Y/n spread her arms out to the wide open space around them, “Any of this back. It’s a hell of a lot more than you seem to be doing.”

Joel rested a hand on the truck’s hood, “Maybe I don’t feel the need to waste my time on a pointless cause. Last time I checked, that was all the Fireflies ever accomplished.”

“At least I’m doing something,” Y/n fought back, “I’d rather spend the rest of my life on a pointless cause and go to sleep with what’s left of my soul than sell it to the devil and not recognize my own damn reflection.”

Joel felt the last part of her sentence push into his gut like the tip of a spear. She was hitting too close to home without knowing it.

“‘Keep going for family,’” Y/n repeated, practically spitting the last words, “When was the last time you fought for anything?”

Joel reached out, grabbing Y/n’s arm roughly as she turned away and spun her around. If she hadn’t dug her boots into the asphalt, she would have fallen right into him.

“You don’t know what I’ve fought for,” he growled, his eyes boring into hers.

Y/n’s chest rose and fell rapidly with rage, inching her face closer to his to show him she wasn’t afraid of him. “Neither do you,” she seethed.

Their breaths mingled in the few inches left separating their mouths. Neither one of them were making any real threats, there was simply too much tension between them to ensure a safe car ride. They needed to let it out.

Joel realized his fingers were digging into Y/n’s arm, it had happened when she had moved closer to him. Habits were tricky to break, but the body didn’t hold grudges like the mind.

The close proximity wasn’t lost on Y/n, but she was able to free herself from it before muscle memory took over. She yanked her arm out of Joel’s grip and took the keys from his other hand, stomping around to the driver’s seat and getting in. Joel unhappily followed, and their wordless journey continued…

—————————

Joel caught maybe thirty consecutive minutes of sleep while Y/n drove them. It wasn’t that she was a bad driver, he just wasn’t used to not being in control of a situation. He gripped the map tightly as they drove into downtown Kansas City.

Surrounding them were rusted abandoned vehicles, but the tunnel in which they needed to go through was blocked entirely by a semi. Y/n brought the car to a halt, glancing over at Joel knowingly.

“Wait here,” she told Ellie, who had just woken up.

Joel and Y/n got out, Joel grabbing their shotguns from the backseat. He handed hers over and the team took calculated steps towards the tunnel. Joel crouched down to get a peek at the open road waiting on the other side of the mess. The semi was parked that way deliberately.

Joel walked back to the truck, Y/n only a step behind him. They got back in their seats seat, Ellie squeezing over the glove compartment.

“Where are we?”

“Kansas City,” Joel answered quickly, taking the map from her. The three of them studied it.

“How far back do we have to go to get around this?” Ellie asked.

Joel traced their route with his fingertip, Y/n tugged the map closer so she could study it too. There weren’t a lot of options if they had a prayer of getting to Wyoming within their time frame. They could either go back, costing them a few more hours, or take their chances passing through the city.

Y/n sighed, everything she was about to say went against what she wanted to say….

“It’s your call.”

Joel was honestly surprised that she had relented so quick. “Screw it,” he muttered, “Head back ‘round the tunnel, get on the next ramp. We’ll be back on the road, minute tops.”

Y/n put the truck in reverse and backed them up, swinging around a shoulder of road that would take them into the city.

“You guys are my eyes,” Y/n said as she navigated the first set of streets,

“Tell me where to go.”

“Look for any signs,” Joel instructed while Ellie read the map.

They drove for about five minutes, having gotten no closer to finding the open road.

“Where the fuck is the highway?” Joel complained.

“I can’t tell from this,” Ellie let her hand fall against the map, “I’m all turned around.”

Joel was trying to help Ellie navigate while also keeping an eye peeled for potential threats. “Well, don’t look at the state map, look at the inset,” he directed.

Ellie groaned, “Well, I don’t know where we are in that either! This is my second day in a fucking car, man. I mean, I think we’re heading north?”

“I don’t even see any fucking signs,” Y/n mentioned.

“It’s gotta be the right,” Joel said, shaking his head, ”What the fuck?”

“Y/n stop,” Ellie exclaimed.

Y/n threw on the brake, bringing them to a halt in the middle of the street.

“Is that the QZ?” Ellie asked, her eyes wide as she peered over Y/n, “Where the fuck is FEDRA?”

Joel and Y/n got a look at where the Quarantine Zone should have been, zero military presence. That was unfathomable.

“Hey,” a voice called, their attention was drawn to a man limping towards their truck, “Please help.”

Y/n and Joel’s blood ran cold, they knew exactly what was about to go down.

“Put your seatbelt on,” Joel told Ellie, throwing his on as well.

“Aren’t we gonna help him?” Ellie asked innocently.

Y/n said a silent prayer to anyone who was listening for survival.

“No,” Joel answered, looking to his ex, “Drive. Now.”

Y/n pressed her foot down on the gas pedal, the “injured” leaping out of the way. The man cried something out she couldn’t hear over the blood pounding in her ears.

“Y/N!” Ellie screamed.

Y/n was too busy driving to see what Ellie and Joel were watching, but the message was received when a large object got dropped on their windshield. Y/n swerved, Joel reached over to steady the wheel as she regained control. In their mad dash effort, they didn’t notice the strip of nails ahead of them. The truck shook as its tires began to deflate.

“Fuck!” Y/n yelled, “What do we do?”

“Hard right into that building,” Joel shouted, there was another guy in their path, “Now!”

Instincts ignored, Y/n pulled to the right, holding her breath as they smashed through the glass windows of the nearest building.

——————

TYL Taglist: @bachiracore @stolenxkissess @kayleezra @the-wistful-reader @allthesesonsofbitches @goth-detectives365 @trippovert @rh1nestonecowg1rl @emiliaserpe @khaleesihavilliard @frietiemeloen @gracie7209 @dorck26 @thegirlnextdoorssister @alanis-altair @mariwinns16 @whosscruffylooking @endofthexline @alexiaricciardo @eonnyx @pedrosmexicangf @scarlettequinn @ao-sleepy @toinfinityandbeyonce2 @deanlovescassie @turmoil-ash @sorrowjunky @kpopslur @xxlilyxx90 @midgetpottermills @presidential-facts @scoopsnini @tubble-wubble @jamesdeerest @burninggracesandbridges @star-wars-lover @lucyhotchner @cococola-cocaine @witheringhqarts @fall-writes @alwaysdjarin @xxmoonn @emilia-the-artist @wand-erer5 @boneyarrd @lizard-zombie @itwasallinmyhead1 @cassidylea123 @paleepeaches @mxltifxnd0m @kettlekatie @ultimate-cinephile @gloryekaterina @caramelkatsukis-bitch @whovianayesha @memeorydotcom @deadunicorn159 @get0ut0fmyr00m @siriuslymooned @emmyeed @superbreadsoul @hellu-people1 @ourautumn86 @inas-thing @noraapple05 @givemylovetoall @luvwanda

#joel miller x reader #joel miller x female reader #joel miller x f!reader #joel miller imagine #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller fanfic #the last of us imagine #the last of us fanfic #the last of us fanfiction #twenty years later

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notyourdaisybuchanan · 9 months

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Rewatching The Bear 2x03 is actually crazy and feels so clarifying because like...

The ep starts with Carmy speaking at Al-Anon about fun, and how maybe he needs to have more of it. He acknowledges that fun is complicated for him because as a kid his family tended to ruin things for him, even though this was often unintentionally done. He says that he thinks if he had more amusement or enjoyment in his own life then it would be easier to provide that for other people. (Big note here that part of the purpose OF a restaurant is to provide amusement and enjoyment for people. Then add in Luca's conversation with Marcus in 2x04 about how the best food comes from being open and inspired, and spending time in the world. So Carmy having fun could theoretically make him better at his job.)

Anyway, Carmy gives that spiel at Al-Anon. Then we get a brief interlude of Syd looking at articles about recent restaurant closings and being stressed.

And then we're immediately back with Syd and Carmy cooking together in his kitchen. She fucks up a dish again, and he suggests they stop cooking and do a palate reset.

Like... this all happens within the first five minutes of the ep. This man has been musing about how he needs to have more fun.... and then he suggests spending the day eating in the city with Syd..... ergo that's his definition of fun. This is literally him making an attempt at doing something for amusement or enjoyment!! He planned this!! I fully believe he had this idea even before Sydney fucked up the dish. This man said I need to have more fun and you know what would be fun? Spending the day with my business partner eating delicious food. So he sends her home with plans to meet in an hour.

And then. AND THEN. Claire calls. First of all when she asks if he's busy, he looks at the white board and the very first thing on the To Do list is "call fridge guy" so like. lmao. I love foreshadowing. And he literally is busy!!! Not with unpleasant tasks to do but with something FUN. Something fun that he planned FOR himself.

And what is it that Claire asks him to do? Is it something fun? No. She asks him to HELP HER MOVE her mom. Like, the least fun task in the history of anything, the thing that people historically HATE being asked to help with. And he doesn't look excited about it! He looks torn. He looks...weird idk. Like ohhhh it's actually so crazy that Carmy bails on a truly fun day with Sydney in order to do a manual labor favor for Claire.

This is so ripe for analysis you simply cannot tell me it doesn't mean anything.

Carmy thinks about how he needs more fun, plans a fun day for himself, and then, when someone he tried to avoid asks him to do a not fun favor, he says yeah, I'll do that instead.

#Almost like he feels a sense of obligation.#Almost like he's self sabotaging.#Almost like Claire's connection to his past to his family to Michael is... allowing his family to ruin something fun for him yet again.#idk I'm not completely married to that bit but the material is definitely there!!#anyway this is my first post-s2 sydcarmy analysis but certainly not the last!!#this show is nuts everything is so intentional and carefully crafted I'm having a field day #apologies if this post comes off like I'm yelling I kind of am bc I was so excited while writing it lol #the bear #the bear meta #sydcarmy #sydcarmy meta #the bear s2 #chefs kiss #sydney adamu #carmen berzatto #sydney x carmy

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marc--chilton · 23 days

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screaming going insane im begging you to talk more about house developing a pavlovian response to wilsons nagging. like you’re right.

like house is already not subtle about wilson (you can only joke about wanting to fuck a guy so much before people start thinking you actually wanna fuck the guy) (i am not convinced he was ever joking)

and house has sooo many issues, the most prevalent being ones that stem from his leg and resulting disability after a life of activity, BUT we also must consider also those that stem from his childhood..... when a parent treats you terribly even the most logic-minded and rational people will think they deserve it. and when that is normal for you, it's almost a comfort. especially if that's the only attention you're getting from them

now let's set that aside for a second. house has always thought of wilson positively from day one (finding him "interesting" which is like the normal person equivalent of saying love at first sight, in this case) and i am not alone in thinking that house is pining in some form. and he fucks. the wires get crossed. something in his brain goes from "no one can make him mad like i can :) " to "he's hot when he's negging me" to house beating it in the hospital showers

95% (why did the numbers get HUGE just then. like i'm making a point sure but goddamn 70 point font pop off) of the time house will walk away from an interaction with wilson feeling great, even if he just got lectured within an inch of his life. just look at how often he gets the Diagnosis Revelation just from bothering wilson for five minutes (and that being all of wilson's screentime in the ep)

they're sick. they're basically having sex every episode. there are cathedrals everywhere for those with the eyes to see

#house md #hilson #anon #ask #i am not a psychologist or whatever. obviously. disclaimers n such #and like wilson is so fr about getting on to house is the worst part #he doesnt even notice how house's pupils dilate when he tells him “i'm glad you're here actually” in That Tone #but yeah in short the self loathing and daddy issues meeting a mother hen is a recipe for disaster #and or crazy insane messy sex if wilson would stop being dense and repressed

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chaifootsteps · 3 months

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https://www.tumblr.com/spotlightlowlife/740535345278533632/hes-such-a-perfect-villain-and-even-if-viv-loves?source=share

^ a good argument that Stolas should have been the villain

no but fr it's actually kinda sad - if the show actually wanted to have a nuanced take on abuse with a believably written abuser, Stolas is the closest they've ever come to doing it successfully - he's not a shrieking monster every time he's onscreen, he has consistent motivations, and he's also a terrible, terrible person:

he's a sexual abuser & exploitative. he uses his book and Blitzo's need to keep his job to exploit sex out of him every month

he's abusive. both to Blitzo and his imp servant. he squeezes the life out of his imp servant and ignores the black eye Stella gave him.

he's manipulative. he waits until Blitzo has used the book for some time & is in imminent danger to propose the deal. he expects sex as a reward for rescuing Blitzo then wonders why Blitzo is apathetic towards him

he's selfish & terrible at reading emotional cues. he assumes everyone else is fine doing what he wants until they physically yell at him, storm off or break down in tears

he wants and sometimes tries to be a good dad but is neglectful. he blames Blitzo for Via going missing when he was the one who caused her to flee the house (something he apparently didn't even notice until Blitzo called him?), he prioritizes Blitzo (flirting and having sex with him, that is) over her constantly

he's classist. he talks down to, demeans and fetishizes imps. the ones he doesn't he doesn't even notice exist (M&M).

he's incapable of admitting fault. he's gone from apologizing to Via for the mess his adultery made to claiming there was no betrayal at all. the next ep is likely to be chock full of him blaming Blitzo for leading him on even though Blitzo has done nothing but maintain their deal (only exception being Ozzie's, which was still within the confines of their deal, so limited sympathy for Stolas there tbh). his 'what have I done?' look after Ozzie's lasted all of five minutes before he went back to blaming Blitzo in 'Stolas Sings'

he's deluded. he somehow thought Blitzo wanted a relationship with him despite having forced him into what's essentially sexual slavery and then called it a 'lie' when Blitzo shut him down over it

he's hypocritical. he calls Stella a bitch to Via's face in the same scene he claims he isn't turning her against her mother. he uses Via as an excuse for not breaking up the marriage sooner even though his marriage to Stella was so woeful his daughter probably would have been better off out of that environment

he's incapable of showing empathy. his reaction to Blitzo's panic attack is to sexualize him some more. he's never shown signs of even trying to relate to Blitzo, and bumped into his daughter without even noticing she was there in Seeing Stars

he ignores people's feelings. Blitzo rejects his flirting, brushes him off multiple times and gets annoyed at Stolas calling him petnames. Stolas still sexualizes him into s2 and the most he's managed is calling him by his proper name. it took him until Blitzo snapped at him for him to notice Blitzo isn't smiling in any of his phone pictures

he can't understand what he's done wrong when told bluntly & directly what the problem is. his text "apology" reeks of "I'm sorry you were offended", not "I'm sorry for what I did wrong"

he has a victim complex. he's a powerful prince but simultaneously passive and unwilling to take steps to make life better for himself. he is the centre of his own universe

he's emotionally dependent. his happiness is dependent on Blitzo loving him back

if the show had just leant into that - and Blitzo slowly realizing just who he was dealing with - it could have been cathartic to see the deal broken. instead it's gonna be more victim blaming BS

We joke about it being The Stolitz Show, but Victim Blaming BS Show is just as fitting.

#Anonymous #viv stuff #actual blog post #stolitz critical

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kazumist · 11 months

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EPISODE 4 ★ YOU'RE DATING WHO NOW?!

FAKE IT TILL YOU MAKE IT — A SCARAMOUCHE SMAU

masterpost / prev ep / next ep / timestamps don't matter

you were both wrong to doubt that this plan would go smoothly. because pretending to be so smitten—to make it look like you’re each other’s everything—is the most difficult task yet, especially when this is the first time you've ever interacted like this.

and knowing how people in high school are, it wouldn’t be much of a surprise if rumors started circulating within the first few hours.

“hold up, is that scaramouche and (name)?”

“wait… they’re holding hands!”

it hasn’t even been five minutes since you walked into the school campus, and you could already spot some whispering about you two. then again, it’s understandable.

after all, it's not every day that you can witness two rivals walking together while holding hands.

by the time you arrive at where your respective friend groups were, which is by the bleachers near the covered court, let’s just say "shocked,” as their reaction is an understatement. childe had accidentally spit out the water he was drinking onto xiao’s face; kazuha had to blink three times to see if what he was seeing was real; and as for venti? he had his eyes blown out wide and his jaw hanging open.

kaeya and the others were just the same as them—all shocked and silent, trying to process what they were seeing.

“why—how? wait, no, when!” venti stammers.

“as you can see, i’m dating scaramouche now.” you smiled, rubbing your thumb against his.

“and i’m dating (name) here.”

“you’re dating who now?!”

oh boy. this is where things actually start now, huh?

extra notes.

xiao kept glaring at childe the whole day bc of what happened

venti and yoimiya kept asking you two questions but you two would answer them as vague as possible

if anyone is confused, both of your friend groups are also friends with each other! so basically you and scara are in the same circle (your respective friend grps are kinda like. inner circles) but only the two of you don't get along most of the time

why is writing narrations so hard wtf im cringing so bad at this gn

also this story is kinda... fast paced sorry... haha :')

synopsis.

what happens when scaramouche, your rival since the first year of highschool, had some annoying admirers on his back? easy—he (fake) dates you to shoo them off. nothing can possibly go wrong with faking a relationship with the guy you hate, right?

spoiler: apparently, a lot can go wrong.

taglist (open): @niiheng @yinyinggie @ilyuu @veekoko @motherscrustytoenailclippings @the-ghost-0f-t0m0 @akairaindrops @kichiyoshi @lxkeeeee @user11918163805279 @sketcheeee @yukiipc @kyouzki @quokkatss @ynverse @yuyumaru @danhenglovebot @sheep-from-rad @gekkow @aeongiies @scararaw @beriiov @thenightsflower @simpforsubmissivemen @sakurapeach @akxtagawaxryxn0sxke @naheana @supernova25

#( smau — fake it till we make it ! )#genshin impact x reader #genshin x reader #genshin impact #genshin imagines #scaramouche x reader #wanderer x reader #scaramouche smau #wanderer smau #genshin smau #scaramouche #wanderer #x reader

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bengiyo · 9 months

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Laws of Attraction Eps 1 and 2 Stray Thoughts

For @lurkingteapot, @negrowhat, and @troubled-mind, here are some highlights from the voice recordings Bestie and I sent to the chat while we were watching the first two episodes.

Episode 1

Ben: They were death-flagging on this child, so David and I decided to take the over-under on how long it would take this child to die. We gave it five minutes. So, two minutes later.... David: They ran over that child like Wile E. Coyote!

David: I can't go to Thailand. Ben: I'm scared! I'm really scared!

Ben: I'm so excited. This is giving everything. We got a kid run over by a car after death flagging six different ways, and David's like that list better not be in that bag! Cuts to the bag. The list is covered in blood. David: This is a Mexican telenovela!!

Episode 2

Ben: Let's talk about this sandwich. This man put all this presentation into a single sandwich, which he cut in half! Then split between the two of them, garnished with a piece of lettuce, a slice of tomato, and a ton of onion....along with some orange juice from concentrate?? With bread that looks like it was burnt to within in inch of its life on a George Foreman Grill..... This man is insane.... Like we already knew that. This man is as insane as Bill in Kill Bill 2 using a whole chef's knife to spread mayonnaise on a sandwich.

Ben: Okay, David, you were correct. I'll give you a Clowned Correctly award. David said that that man is not touching him because he's insane and he absolutely wants that man to want him when he finally fucks him. I love it though! He's like, "You were drunk, and you puked on yourself. So I removed your clothes to clean you up, and lusted. I sure did! But I didn't touch you! Because that would get me 4-20 year in prison. And they're not gonna have my ruffles and bubble baths in prison." David: "I'm a not-so-secret luxurious bitch. I don't DO cells." Ben: This high sadity mofo's like, "Uh-uh. But! Since you're sober now!" David: "Let's talk!!" Ben: I love this man. David: "Good! What's really good?"

Ben: Not this man getting out of this car... David: With the gayest shirt! Ben: What the fuck is going on with this collar and these overlong goddamn sleeves? This man is a menace. David: This is giving, "Give me shirt but also a Faustian nightmare." Ben: He looks like someone just popped a can of cinnamon rolls. David: I can't want more for you than you want for yourself. Ben: I...am overdone...with this show... David: And not champagne colored! You're a gay man! You know better! Ben: Look how it's sitting on his shoulders! This is a travesty!

Ben: I know we comment on how unhinged this man is in every scene, but why is he taking the One Ring to Mordor as well?

Ben: This is the least insane he's looked in this show, and that's saying something. We've been here for nine hours.

Ben: I see why @ginnymoonbeam said this show might be for the KinnPorsche enjoyers because this is now the next show where we've watched a father slap his son in the most bitchless way possible. David: Slaps always come in threes! The first is your first salvo. The second, this time, is aiming to fuck up some real estate. The third is the disrespect.

David: They clearly defined her relationship with her employees. They are not afraid of her. If these are hoes, they feel taken care of. Ben: I don't know what the relationship is between Organ and Silvy's characters, but I hope we get to see them fuck on screen. David: If we don't, why am I here? I require women doing filthy shit to each other. I can get BL anywhere. I came to see women doing shameful things with each other. I came here for Jennifer Tilly and Gina Gershon in Bound. I did not come here for the Bridges of Madison County. Ben: Girl you ain't never lie!

David: I'm here for this. The unapologetic sissiness is what I live for. He had me when he pulled out that little gun. "Now, I can date you, but I can also put you down like a dog." You know there's nothing I love more than Gays With Guns. Look at God. Won't he do it. Ben: God had nothing to do with iQIYI.

#laws of attraction #laws of attraction meta #thai drama #thai bl #bl series #Ben watches

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loganlostitall · 2 months

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Better Off Dead

Rating: ehh… I’ll go with 13+

Word count: 2k

Characters: Rick Grimes x Gender neutral reader

Setting: Alexandria, after TOWL ep 1 (SPOILERS!!!)

Content warnings: HUGE SPOILER WARNING FOR THE NEW EPISODE!!!!!!!! YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR OWN READING!!! That’s two warnings don’t blame me. Self harm and suicidal ideation, this is an almost entirely mental health related drabble. Heavy talk of cutting and scars. Typical TWD themes.

Summary: FINAL SPOILER WARNING! Rick hasn’t even been back for a full day. He is also not the only one who suffered a psychiatric decline over the years you spent apart. Both you and him are unaware that the other was in a similar spot. Hurt/comfort ensues.

Author’s note: Did NOT expect to be writing a Rick x reader in the middle of the goddamn night but my theory about Rick’s hand got proven right within not even five minutes and I was losing my shit. I started trying to think of plot immediately and once I saw more on mental health I was gone. Me and my love for mentally ill men <3

I wanted to post this the same night as release it fought me hard 😭 never expected to be doing Rick x reader and wanted to be perfect. Once again, the title is linked to the songspo so you can listen along.

Unbeta’d again, hope this is decent for u guys :3

The very moment you woke up, the first thing you became aware of was the fact that you found yourself in bed alone. Not unlike all the other nights. It was routine by now. The occasional, unique circumstance of this particular morning though, was the urge. Unshakable. All encompassing. It crashed through your brain and down into your body, pulsing through your veins, begging to be drawn out and released. Trapped under your skin. Grief.

It was almost completely overwhelming, tears flooding your lower eyelids and venturing down to your lips just as a strangled sob ripped from between them, the sound a little hoarse from your voice being unused during sleep.

You reached out blindly to the nightstand, your fingers grasping for the knife you always kept at your bedside in case of waking up to a walker breach or anything similar. Even through blurred vision, you found the handle, and brought the blade to the criss-crossed skin of your arm.

What a way to start off the morning with a bang.

Inflicting harm over previously healed scars always made you flinch harder. But you didn’t care that it hurt more. If anything, you appreciated it. It was more effective, faster. You never felt the need to leave quite as many.

Hissing through your teeth, you sat the knife down on your knee and brought your pointer and middle fingers to either side of the new wound and spread it open, luring more blood to flow out. It tickled as the thick crimson rolled down your wrist and came to a stop right where the skin curves to the heel of your palm, and you grabbed the handle once more to start the process over again.

Halfway through the next was when the door creaked.

You practically jumped out of your skin, throwing the reddened blade to clatter on the floor and snatching the covers to pull back over yourself, press them to your arm. Your free hand wiped the tears from your face as you sniffled, clearing up your sight well enough to see….

Rick. Blue eyes darkened by confusion and worry.

He stepped in cautiously, taking care to slowly and quietly shut the door behind himself and return his attention back to you. “Hey, what are you doing that for?”

“Wh— what the fuck?”

It left you as no more than a whisper, and you knew that same confusion was reflected on your own face. Rick wasn’t supposed to be here. ‘Am I hallucinating?’

“No, you’re not hallucinating. I’m right here.” Rick had nearly asked if you were okay, but stopped himself short. He’d just walked in on you cutting yourself, there was only one answer that you would, or could, give him.

You were apparently not fully awake yet, or you were still reeling from the self harm, because you’d seemingly asked the question out loud and not in your head.

His manufactured arm piece remained immobile at his side while his real hand patted himself absently in various locations, the pockets of his shirt as well as on each side of his jeans, searching for something although knowing that it wasn’t there. Rather than stand there idiotically, Rick held up a finger to signal ‘one second’ and made his way further into the room, dropping to one knee to pick up the knife you’d flung down carelessly and wiping the blood onto his shirt. And then, while he was down there, he pulled open each drawer of your nightstand until he actually found what he was looking for. Bandages. Or, more specifically, a small med kit with bandages in it. Packed full of random, useful supplies.

He remained kneeling at your bedside and spoke as he opened it. “Already forgot that you have me back?” His smile had an odd edge to it, like he was happy to see you but simultaneously disheartened by the state you were in, and concerned about the fact you’d forgotten. There was so much emotion on his face your eyes filled again.

“Yeah, I guess, I-”

You jumped when Rick pulled the blanket away from your arm and instinctively drew it back toward your chest, shielding the mess of dried blood from his worried gaze, but he simply reached for it again and coaxed it back to himself. Tentatively, not one sign of upset visible on him.

As he assessed the damage, you ashamedly looked elsewhere and returned to what you had previously been saying. “When Siddiq was still around, he diagnosed me with C-PTSD. Honestly, I think we all have something like that by now.” Laughing weakly, you bit the inside of your cheek for a few moments as Rick took care to clean the area with a small, square cloth soaked with witch hazel. It wasn’t the medication that burned, just the contact. You carried on. “He told me one of the side-effects would be my memory. Short-term, long-term, or even both… so, probably that and the fact I dreamed about finding you as a walker and having to put that knife between your eyes.”

A flare of insecurity sparked in your chest when that last statement had Rick’s eyes flitting to yours. Suddenly you found yourself critically self-conscious that he’d decide you were too much work now and leave to find better. Memory problems? Who would bother dealing with that?

“Okay,” he said surely, his voice steady. “That’s okay.” You were overwhelmed with the urge to hug him, but it would have to wait until you had your arm back. After a moment of eye contact for a second time, Rick patted the skin dry with a square of gauze and shook a small bottle of bactine before spraying a thin layer on top of the area.

The tingle of numbness was immediate. You sighed in relief as he rolled a Q-tip covered in Vaseline over each laceration and used that same last piece of gauze to delicately wipe up the excess surrounding them. And then to preserve resources, Rick opted not to open another and instead flipped that pad over to lay the dry side on your wrist; wrapped a length of blue self adherent cohesive bandage around it a few times to keep the wound dressing in place. Brought the heel of your palm to his lips, only to pause when his eyes wandered to find the array of scars littering your inner forearm. There was one in particular that he couldn’t take his attention off of.

Trailing the pad of his thumb down the length of your arm, you glanced down to see what he was looking at.

And felt nauseous.

“This one?” he asked faintly, voice barely discernible. Jagged, raised skin followed your radial artery vertically. Perpetrated on yourself while you’d searched for him.

You shrugged in an attempt to play it off as a lot calmer than you actually were. “Didn’t go deep enough.” Shame, once again, enveloped you. You felt fucking pathetic.

“Me either.”

The words felt like a bucket of ice water being dumped right over your head. Freezing your entire body, soaking your flesh and seeping beneath it to chill your bones. Your eyes found his natural fingers to discover that they were pulling his shirt collar away from his neck to reveal a slash that scabbed very recently going about a fourth of the way across his throat. Your vision swam again.

“You’re here now,” you tried. It was a lousy consolation, but you still weren’t… entirely grounded yet. Pushing yourself up to sit on your knees, Rick muttering ‘careful’ under his breath as you put weight on the hand connected to your injured arm to lean the upper half of your body off the edge of the bed, you nestled your lips just above the new scar and kissed his thrumming pulse. “We’re both here.” The two of you were equally as anxious; the way his heart was racing proved that fact. Perhaps even for the same reasons. Feeling exposed.

It was hardly a long journey from Philadelphia to Virginia. You made it back with Rick before the day was over. Subsequently, he had barely been here for twelve hours. Perhaps you hadn’t spent enough time together yet for the fact that Rick was home to truly register with you.

It seemed he may have had the same idea.

He offered you a tired half-smile and stood, closing up the med kit and returning it to its previous location only to round to the other side of the bed, make quick work of kicking off his boots, and climb in beneath the blanket. Rolling to face him, you sidled up to rest your forehead on his chest immediately, and his genuine arm fell over your side whilst the sculpted metal one lie idle beneath the pillows. The numbing from bactine was still a thing to revel over because it meant you could throw your arm over his bicep and card your fingers through the curls at the nape of his neck. You did not miss Rick’s short hair. His fingers soothed up and down your back in a comforting manner and you both laid utterly still, breathing the same air, sharing the same body heat.

“I’m grateful I didn’t go deep enough,” he whispered once the silence stretched uncomfortably. “You found me.”

For what was probably not the last time today, your eyes stung again. And yet, you opted to lift the spirits of him and yourself with a joke. It was the first thing that came to mind. “Well, you do seem to fail at slitting throats, Rick.”

You grinned up at him when he scoffed; giggled when he started to chuckle himself. The pair of you sounded as exhausted as you both looked, and when the laughter died out, you absorbed each other again. His presence was so consoling to your brain that had successfully convinced itself he was still gone, that after a length of time you realized you’d fall back asleep soon. And Rick would probably ensure you didn’t wake up alone again.

You hadn’t gotten a chance to do something, though.

Propping yourself up on your right elbow, you blinked sleep out of your heavy eyes while pulling weakly at his new arm attachment; more as a question rather than an unpermitted attempt to uncover it. “Can… can I look?”

Unease cast a shadow over his blue eyes, despite the trust in them, and he nodded. Which you’d only half expected him to do. You’d braced yourself for a no.

You would see it eventually, so he figured it was best to do it now and get it out of the way rather than prolong it.

Sitting your pillow off to lean it against the headboard, Rick adjusted and repositioned to lay on his back instead, which gave you a better opportunity to look at his hand. It was strapped on in two different places; one at the elbow, and one at the shoulder. The fingers were hyper-realistic, yet closed into a fist with no opening for a weapon to be gripped. It was almost as if he could read your mind, because Rick drew his arm away from you to demonstrate the release of a blade triggered in the wrist.

You lifted a finger to trail it along the sharp edge of the custom weaponized extension and hissed through grit teeth when it left a thin, shallow cut on your fingertip.

“I’m not getting the med kit back out.” He finished saying it with a playfully chastising call of your name.

No need to bother. You sucked the blood from the pad of your finger and threw him a drowsy smirk. “This is hot.”

That definitely caught him off guard.

“Yeah?” Rick shook his head with a dampened smile. “Well, I’m glad you see my suffering as an upgrade.”

The greatest salve for your pain was his lips on yours. Maybe it would do the same for his wounded pride.

Quite the valid reason to try it.

“Shut up.”

Your smile met his, and they stayed there even after you fell asleep again. This time, dreaming of the future.

National suicide and crisis hotline: call or text 988

Help with self harm: text CONNECT to 741741

LGBTQ+ inclusive resource: https://www.thetrevorproject.org/resources/article/support-for-self-harm-recovery/

Numbers for different parts of the world: https://blog.opencounseling.com/suicide-hotlines/

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