i can’t be this heavy another summer. i am so ashamed
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bruh my bf got a glimpse of the thinsp0 in my hidden folder while I was showing him a photo on there and I tried to play it off cool but I think he thinks I’m into some weird shit now💀
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all of my problems would be solved if i had super long hair and lost another 30lbs tbh
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why i'm starting again
hi!
ive been feeling really lonely recently and thought i would try to make a space for myself :)
this past week i went out to a couple shows where my boyfriend lives and 1. had horrible HORRIBLE pictures of me taken that made me bawl my eyes out, 2. had a really upsetting thing happen with one of my close friends where they left with the "cool" group of girls and left me at the show alone.
there's another show coming up at the end of September that i want to be a completely new person for. i want to stop being the outsider and nervous about how i look, or just generally feeling inferior. i want that group of girls to stop looking over at me whispering to each other. i want them to envy me.
maybe that is just me being a bitch or my constant fear of being unliked, but either way, i want to show up and be THE it girl.
so to start off this new journey, here are some of my inspo pictures for how i want to look :)
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My current major ANA inspo?
Being better than the girl my bfs cheating with and make him eat his words to others about “other girls being hotter” than me. I’m gonna get so thin he feels guilty and so dainty and light he cant keep his eyes n hands off me.
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giving people around me bigger portions or letting them eat my leftover food makes me feel so good
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I want so bad to just be good enough to be thinspo, I feel like it's so unachievable. Sometimes I look at myself and think I'm doing great and if I just push a little more I'll be good enough.
But something will always make me realise how far off I am, I'll just look down at my thighs when I'm sat and they never look thin and cute they're just always so huge. I always feel so bloated and gross. I feel like the only good thing I have is my thigh gap.
I'm currently 119 lbs, I'm 5ft 6 I just really want to be 105 maybe I'll be happy there.
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about me <33
- ava
- 18, senior yearrrr
- want to lose weight *fast* lol
- disordered eating since middle school but not officially ana or mia
- here for the weight loss content tbh
- looking for a buddy!!
hw - 205.4
lw - 186.0
cw - 195.2
gw1 - 170
gw2 - 150
ugw - 135?? this will depend on how my body proportions out.
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