#thinking… we don’t have to argue. i’ve told you my terms. just don’t offer me money for stupid little favours and you won’t hear an argument

[christhopersturniolo]

୨ HOCKEY PROBLEMS ୧

summary: you have been having some problems in your relationship with Chris, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t loves you.

notes: this is my first time writing a fanfic, I've always wanted to create one since 2020. english isn't my first language, it's probably not very detailed and there might be some mistakes, so don't expect too much lol. but give me feedback tho, l'd love to know what you think!

warnings: sexual assault, cussing, fluff, about three thousand words I think.

୨୧

My relationship with my boyfriend Chris is not the best. Well, at least, not now.

Lately we’ve been arguing all day long over stupid things, like who gets the last slice of pizza, or who gets the last word in a discussion. And it always ends in the same way. Silent treatment, from both sides. But it's not like Chris or I enjoy it. Most nights, I hear him in the bathroom, where he spend hours in tears. It’s horrible and makes me feel like a piece of shit. Hearing him cry only adds to my own feelings of guilt.

And how do we make things up? Sex, over and over. He would fuck the attitude out of me if he had to.

Me and Chris made a pinky promise that I would never miss any of his Hockey games. And I never did, cause i know how much my presence is important to him. And especially cause we are always in good terms the days before any of his games, but not today, we just argued again about nothing, we haven't talked for the past two days.

Nick and Matt, Chris's brothers, usually text me and offer to pick me up for Chris's games, but this time, their texts never came. It’s like they knew how our relationship was going. Chris definitely told them something.

Now you see myself driving to the arena where he plays in, the game is about to start in 20 minutes, and with this traffic, I don’t know if I will be there in time.

Red sign for the past 5 minutes. I have cars in front of me, behind me and next to me. Fuck. I start getting anxious. My nerves are on edge. I bit my nails subconsciously, the habit I got from my dad. My leg starts shaking. I can’t mess up things even more, I gotta be there, I have to be there.

After what feels like an eternity stuck in traffic, the car in front of me finally starts moving. I let out a sigh of relief as I find a parking spot. After that, I enter the venue where Chris plays (Which wasn’t that big, cause he plays in a small team in our city.)

Before taking a seat I scan the crowd anxiously, searching for any familiar faces, no one, I can’t find anyone, not even his two brothers. “Fuck it” I mumble to myself and I just get in a seat with some random people next to me.

The game is about to start, the crowd is already cheering. The players are drinking water and getting ready to get in the rink. My eyes examine each one of them, looking for Chris, number three. He was with a serious face. ‘Are he’s eyes red?’ I think to myself as I narrow my eyes, my vision is bad as shit, but I can tell he’s eyes are all puffy. He has some big dark circles underneath his pretty blue eyes, he looks fucking exhausted, It was evident that he was crying just now.

The players finally begin to take to the ice, their skates gliding across the surface as they prepare for the game to begin.

On Chris's team, there are six talented players, used to winning every single game. However, this time, they were against a really good team. Chris hated that team. I hated that team. Well, not really the team, but one of the players: Cam, Cameron.

Cam is a completely fucking jerk, in college he would always try to hit on me, but I’ve never really went with his face, what would get on his nerves, especially when I started dating Chris. It went to the point where he would force me to have intimate things with him. He was the worst human alive, and I would do anything to see him dead.

FLASHBACK

I just had PE, finding myself alone in the girls locker room as I change clothes. The sound of the front door opening echoed, followed by quiet footsteps creeping up behind me, sending shivers down my spine. I try to ignore it.

As I slipped my shirt back on, I felt two hands grip the sides of my hips, and a warm breath brushed against my neck. I freeze for two seconds. I know this is not Chris. Without thinking, I instinctively push the hands away and I turn around quickly, only to come face to face with Cameron.

I glare at him, my heart racing with a mix of fear and anger. His smirk widens as he takes a step closer, invading my personal space. "What's the rush, sweetheart?" He whispers, his voice dripping with arrogance.

I take a step back feeling the wall behind me getting closer "What are you even doing here? Get the fuck away from me, Cameron" I say firmly, trying to sound like i’m not scared, but the reality is that I’m pissing my pants.

He chuckles like he’s making fun of me, his eyes glinting with malice. "Or what? You'll tell your precious boyfriend Chris?" He teases, moving closer until I can feel his breath on my face. grabbing my waist and pinning them against the wall. "Come on, babe, you know you want it as much as I do.." he affirms, leaning in to kiss me, touching his lips on mines.

“Get the fuck away!” I whisper yell as i try to punch him away but he grabs my wrists. I struggle against his hold, but his grip tightens, his fingers digging into my skin, definitely leaving red marks.

I don’t know what to do. I can’t move. I start panicking. This is my end.

Tears blur my vision as I plead "Cameron, stop!" My voice trembles with fear as he kisses me, his lips rough and demanding against mine. Each kiss is a painful reminder of my vulnerability. Each kiss feels like a violation. I feel dirty, tainted by his touch everywhere in my body. A wave of nausea churns in the pit of my stomach as I try to move him away from me.

"Stop fucking fighting, you are not getting away from me" He murmurs against my lips "You deserve this, you want this.” I try to move as he keeps pinning me "You think I don’t see the eyes you give me when I walk by? Huh slut?" He scoffs, his hot breath against my face. "You were begging for this."

“I wasn’t begging for any of this. I never gave him any ‘eyes,’ he’s fucking delusional!” I think to myself, but my words remain trapped in my throat, suffocated.

As his lips travel down to my neck, leaving a trail of unwanted kisses, I can’t do anything more than start crying and screaming, kicking my legs and arms.

I never went back to those lockers again.

END OF THE FLASHBACK

I hated him so fucking much, and Chris did even more. And now, they are about to compete against each other.

The moment Chris stepped onto the rink, I could see his eyes looking for someone known on the crowd. Desperately, I raised my hand and waved, hoping he would spot me. And he did. His face automatically softened into a gentle smile, erasing some of the tension that had been weighing on me, but he was still with his tired eyes.

The game started with an intensity that matched the tension in the air. Both teams were determined to win. Cameron eyes were burning with rage. At this point, they weren’t competing as a team, it wasn’t about the game, it was about their personal life.

As the game progressed, the rivalry between them two escalated. They began to argue on the ice, each vying for control of the puck with increasing aggression.

Chris managing to gain possession of the puck and score two goals in less than five minutes. But Cam, folded by his own anger, refused to back down. Without thinking he charged towards him at full speed. Cameron swung his stick, causing Chris to trip and fall hard onto the ice.

“What the fuck is he doing?” I say out loud as I get up from my seat to get a better view. Chris remained on the ground for what felt like an eternity, clearly in pain. Every player on the ice stopped and looked around confused without knowing what to do, but not Cameron. He keeps going with the puck in direction to make a goal, with a visible smile on his lips. But then he notices how everyone really stopped and he slows down too, annoyed, not showing any regret.

The thing is, my boyfriend is in a fetal position on the ice, unable to move and no one is doing anything about it? That’s not happening, not with Chris. Without a second thought, I get up from my seat, whispering apologies to those I brushed past as I made my way to the rink. Ignoring the stares and comments from the crowd, I stepped onto the ice, my focus solely on reaching Chris. I get in the rink. I don’t give a shit about who’s watching me.

Kneeling beside Chris. His nose was bleeding, he looked pale and disoriented. Gently, I placed a hand on his shoulder, my voice trembling with concern. "Chris" I whisper, my voice shaking "Are you okay? Please look at me..” I beg in a desperate tone

Chris struggled to respond, his voice barely above a whisper as he fought through the pain "Y-Yeah.. I’m fine.." His eyes half-closed in discomfort.

Suddenly, the sound of approaching footsteps drew my attention, and I glanced up to see some of the players from both teams getting around us, their expressions a mix of confusion and concern. Sensing the seriousness of the situation, a few of them hurried off to get help, while others stood by, unsure of what to do.

“Is he okay?” One of Chris's teammates asked as he knelt beside me, his voice filled with worry.

My anxiety spiked at the sight of Chris's condition, and I couldn't help but let my frustration show. "No, he’s not!" I replied, my voice unintentionally louder than intended. "Don’t you guys have nurses or some kind of medical staff here?!"

The teammate glanced back at me, his expression uncertain. "Yeah, I’m pretty sure they're on their way, don’t worry, he will be fine” He said sounding unsure.

I gently place Chris head on my lap, whispering sweet and calming words on his ear while we wait for someone help us. What I was saying was comforting me more than Chris.

Finally the arena's medical staff arrived, urging us to clear the area around Chris. They place him on a stretcher and wheeling him out of the rink. As they took Chris away, I followed closely behind them, my steps quickening to keep pace with their hurried movements. "Hey, excuse me," I called out to one of the workers, my voice tinged with desperation "Is it okay if I stay with him?" But they seemed way too focused on their task, ignoring me completely as they rushed Chris to a small emergency room they had here, leaving me behind on the hallway, my heart pounded with worry and frustration. But before I could even process what was happening, a familiar voice cut through the silence. I turn around,

Cameron.

"Look who it is" He says, his gaze fixated on me with an unsettling intensity. "Never thought I'd see you here, playing the concerned girlfriend” He chuckles.

My blood boiled at his words, the memories of his unwanted advances and aggressive behavior flooding back with nauseating clarity. "You're sick, Cameron." My voice trembling with rage “You can’t even stand losing a fucking game, you are insane.” I stay some seconds in silence before talking again "You better stay the hell away from me and Chris."

Cameron's smirk widened, his eyes gleaming with satisfaction as he reveled in my discomfort. "Or what?" He teases, taking a step closer "You gonna hit me? Huh?” He talks in a mocking way

I raised my hand and delivered a good slap on his left cheek, the sound echoing through the empty hallway. "I fucking hate you!" I yell, my voice trembling with rage as I glared at him with undisguised contempt.

Before Cameron could react, the sound of approaching footsteps coming in our attention, and I glanced up to see some of Chris's teammates rushing towards us, their expressions a mix of concern and confusion.

"What's going on here?" The same blonde guy with a four in his shirt asks, his voice tinged with urgency as he eyed Cameron with suspicion.

"Nothing," he muttered, attempting to regain his composure, "I was just.. checking on Chris. But the workers said we have to wait, and unfortunately, I've got somewhere else to be." Cameron lies, fuck he’s good at lying.

He gets closer to me, placing his hand on my shoulder, rubbing it gently. “I hope he gets better” He said in a fake nice tone, like he means it, I move his hand away from me, making him get slightly angry again, he leaves. I watch him go, feeling a sense of relief wash over me knowing that he was finally out of here.

Turning back to Chris's teammate, I say “Anyways..” I take a deep breath “I will just wait here until they say something”

The blonde one nods understanding. “Yeah, that sounds like a plan to me” He replies, his voice filled with sympathy “So, the game was canceled, and we got shit to do, so we can’t really wait here”

“Yeah sure, no problem, I understand” I respond, I try to sound so nice as he is sounding “I'll make sure Chris texts you guys after he leaves the room.”

Chris's teammate nodded appreciatively and they all began to leave to the same direction as Cameron. I sit into a chair next to the door where Chris was, my mind racing thinking about Chris.

Some good ten minutes after, one of the workers is leaving the room, I look up at him, catching his attention. “Excuse me,” I begin, my voice laced with anticipation “can I see Chris?”

He nods, offering a small smile. “Of course, go ahead” He replies kindly before disappearing down the hallway.

Before I enter the room, I take a few deep breaths to control my anxiety. Knocking gently on the door, I slowly open it. He was sitting in a long bench with elastic bandage on his ankle and wrist. Chris's eyes light up at the moment he sees me and a warm smile spreads across his face.

“Shit Chris, I just slapped Cameron in the face!” I say as I close the door behind me. Chris immediately starts laughing. his laugh is contagious. I sit down next to him. “You did not” He keeps laughing

“What’s so funny? I’m being serious” I chuckle, feeling the tension ease from my mind as Chris's laughter fills the room.

"I'm sorry, babe" he says between laughs "But when was that?”

“Literally like fifteen minutes ago! Gosh he’s so fucking annoying! And did you see the way he literally made you fall on purpose? I could break his face right now” I say in a dramatic tone, making him laugh even more.

“Anyways he doesn’t matter..” I look around thinking about what to say “So what did the nurses say?”

Chris's laughter subsides as he leans back against the bench, his expression growing more serious “Nothing much.. I just sprained my foot and my wrist, but nothing much”

“Nothing much?!” I say slightly shocked with his words.

Chris chuckles softly, shaking his head at my reaction. "Okay, maybe it's a bit more than 'nothing much,' but I'll survive" He says with a reassuring smile, though I can see the pain behind his eyes.

I gently reach his injured hand, my thumb tracing comforting circles on the back of his hand. "I'm just glad it's nothing too serious," I say softly, my voice filled with genuine concern. "But still, I can't believe Cameron did that to you! He's such a pussy!" My last sentence makes Chris laugh again.

As I watch him, a sense of relief washes over me, knowing that despite everything, we are still able to find humor in the situation.

Some minutes talking until the silence fills back the room. We are definitely both thinking about the argument we had days ago, cause we didn’t talked since.

“I.. I wasn’t expecting for you to watch the game today” Chris says slightly looking down.

I stay in silence for some seconds “Listen, Chris" I begin, my voice soft but determined "About the arguments we've been having lately.. I know things haven't been the best.. But..” I sigh “But I still care about you, and I always will.”

Chris looks up at me, his eyes softening with emotion as he listens to my words. "I care about you too" He says, his voice filled with sincerity. "I hate that we've been arguing so much, especially over stupid shit.. I just.. I don't want to lose you.”

A small smile tugs at the corners of my lips as I reach out to gently cup his cheek. "You're not going to lose me, Chris." I assure him. My thumb brushing over his skin affectionately.

He gently buries his face on the crook of my neck, I lay my chin on the top of his head, and I wrap my arms around him, holding him close.

"I'm sorry for everything," Chris murmurs against my skin. "I don't want us to keep fighting like this."

Now I run my fingers through his hair, feeling a sense of peace settle over us. "I'm sorry too.." My voice sounding like a whisper. "Let's try to work through this together, okay?" He nods softly.

I kiss his head “I love you.”

“I love you too.” He answers quietly.

୨୧

hey, this is the end! i hope you have enjoyed it, if u saw any miss spelling or anything tell me in the comments, please.

also, i think it got kinda confusing cause i was using words on the past and in the present, but idk 😭😭

#chris sturniolo #matt sturniolo #nick sturniolo #sturniolo triplets #fanfic #matt sturniolo smut #sturniolo x reader #sturniolo smut #christopher sturniolo #sturniolo triplets x reader #matthew sturniolo #nicolas sturniolo #sturniolo fanfic #sam and colby #christhopersturniolo

[forever-rogue]

Hey p! Can we maybe, have part 2 of 👀 your last obi wan fic👀 pretty please 🥺

AN | This man deserves everything and I want to give it to him! 🥰 Enjoy!

Pairing | Obi-Wan x Fem!Reader

Warnings | None

Word Count | 1.6k

Masterlist | Main, Star Wars

Part 1, Part 3

── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ──

“Have you ever thought about starting a family?” the question left his lips before he was even fully aware of it. Once trained and hardwired to refrain from speaking without first contemplating what he was saying, he had loosened up in the years since. At first you hadn’t heard him fully, too busy tending to the small garden the two of you had planted.

It was a far cry from the home you’d known on Tatooine; this was lush and green and flowing with wildlife. Takodana might not have been the safest place in the galaxy - then again no place was - but it was close to it. When Obi-Wan had first suggested a move, you hadn’t believed him; now that it was a reality, you knew it had the best decision. 

“What was that?” you studied the fresh vegetables before tossing them into your basket. When you were met with silence, you wiped your hands on your pants and turned to him, “my love?”

“I…it is nothing,” he insisted with a soft little half smile. You didn’t quite believe him, but weren’t about to pressure him to admit anything either. He would tell you, he always did, on his own terms. Perhaps you weren’t even meant to hear just yet, “do you need a hand with anything?”

“I’ve got it,” you promised as you slowly stood up, stretching to relieve some of the tension that had settled in your bones while you gardened, “you could do me one favor though - can you check on the washing? I just want to finish up here and then I’ll be in.”

“Of course,” he paused for a moment, biting the inside of his cheek as his feet seemed to be rooted in the wrong. You couldn’t help but laugh lightly at him.

“Obi? Everything alright? You’re acting…off.”

“Yes,” he insisted, snapping back into a reality, a flush of crimson creeping up in his cheeks, “I’ll see you inside then.”

You offered him a small wave as he slowly padded back inside, his head already in the clouds. There was a moment where you wondered if he knew what was on your mind, what had been going on lately. While it was a very real possibility, you didn’t think he was any wiser. He’d know soon enough anyway, might as well let it be a surprise. 

The small droid you’d decided to welcome into your home chirped happily as he held out an arm to take the basket of vegetables from you. It was an old R4 unit you had more or less rescued and given a second life; he was sweet and you couldn’t deny that it was nice to have a little helper around. 

“I know,” you told him, patting the top of his head gently, “he’ll find out soon. I’m surprised he doesn’t know already. I’m even more surprised you haven’t gone and spilled the beans! And don’t argue with me - you are the most gossipy droid I’ve met!”

He beeped a sarcastic response before moving towards the house with you following close behind. This was a far cry from the life you’d onced lived, isolated and alone in the desert. This was nice, this was where you were meant to be. As one with him - your love.

── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ─

Obi-Wan had been moving around restlessly in bed for what seemed like hours now. You hadn’t said anything at first, positive that he would eventually sleep but it never came. Then again, you’d been up the entire time as well, partly because his tossing and turning had kept you awake and partly because your own thoughts wouldn’t leave you either. At some point, you couldn’t take it any longer and you reached across the bed for him. 

“Hey,” you whispered softly, wrapping your fingers around his wrist. He stopped moving almost instantly, letting out a small sound that seemed like relief. Tugging on his arm gently, you motioned for him to face you. He did so, and you laid so you could face him, brushing a few stray locks of hair out of his face, “maybe if you told me what was on your mind, it might help you sleep.”

“You’re very sly, aren’t you?” he couldn’t help the smile that tugged up the corners of his mouth as you offered him an innocent little grin.

“That all depends on whether or not you’re actually going to divulge anything to me,” you leaned in so the tip of your nose was brushing against his, “or perhaps you could kiss me instead. Both would be great, but if I have to settle for one, I’ll take what I can get.”

“I’m assuming, as always, you have a preference?” there was an amused lilt to his voice, and you see the twinkle in his eyes despite the only pale moonlight filtering into the room. You smiled sweetly, and he laughed - a genuine, soft laugh that you’d been craving to hear all day, “both?”

“Both,” you agreed before he finally kissed you, softly and sweetly letting his lips linger against yours, “always both, my love. Now tell me - what were you going to ask me earlier?"

"It was not…important," for someone who could be so convincing, he was not a good liar. 

"If it was not important, then why has it been bothering you all day?" your hand found his face as you gently touched brushed your thumb over his cheek, "i am more attuned to your idiosyncrasies than you might think."

"Indeed you are," he agreed with the smallest huff, "I asked you earlier if you had ever given thought to starting a family?"

Ah. So you had heard him correctly.

“Starting a family?” you mused softly as you heard him inhale sharply. He was…nervous for your answer. Interesting - he wasn't normally one to succumb to nerves, “I already have a family. You and Four…perhaps it’s not the most conventional family, but that’s what we are.”

“I suppose…you’re right.”

“Family isn’t necessarily blood or normal, as you well know,” you grinned as he wrapped an arm around your waist and pulled you closer, “family is what you make it.”

“Ever the philosopher,” he kissed you softly and you easily gave in to him, “I suppose I should have rather asked if you’d ever thought about expanding our family?”

“Oh,” you pretended to be surprised as you pulled back to gauge his reaction. You wondered if he did know and was trying to get it out of you. But as you looked at him intently, trying to get a good read on him, you realized that somehow he didn’t know, “you mean…a child?”

“Yes,” his answer was soft, barely spoken so only you could hear it. Obi-Wan tried to read your face, which you were struggling to keep pointedly neutral, “it’s…only a thought of course.”

“Of course,” you agreed seriously, offering him a nod of agreement as you tried to hold back your giggles, “can I admit something to you, Obi-Wan?”

“You can tell me anything,” you reached for his hand, gently bringing it to your lips before pressing a kiss to his knuckles. You felt him relax next to you and you decided that now was as good a time as any to let him in on the little secret you’d been carrying around for several weeks. 

“I…might be a few steps ahead of you in the desire to expand our little family,” you whispered, noticing that his face immediately went through several different expressions as he tried to piece together what you were saying. He didn’t respond for a few moments, but you were sure he had reached the only logical conclusion, “Obi-Wan?”

“You’re…pregnant?” he sounded so incredulous, so in awe that any hesitation you might have had that quickly dissipated. 

“Yes,” you said softly, “I am. I found out…a few weeks ago. I wasn’t sure what to think at first - it took a while for me to process. And then I didn’t quite know how to tell you either. I was going to tell you, obviously, and it’s not like I could have hid it forever, but…yeah. I was kind of wondering if you were going to put the pieces together.”

“I…I thought something had felt different,” he admitted quietly, “but I didn’t think…well. This is a surprise.”

“A good surprise or…?”

“A most wonderful surprise,” he promised as he laced his fingers through yours, giving them a light squeeze, “the best surprise.”

“I thought so too,” you made a small sound of surprise as he pulled you as close as possible into his body, “so to answer your question - yes, I have given it some thought. I love you, Obi-Wan.”

“I love you, my most darling, beautiful girl,” he kissed you, deeply and hungrily, needing all of you over all of him, “thank you.”

“Whatever for, silly man?”

“This, you - all of it,” he whispered against your lips, “our family.”

#obi-wan kenobi #obi-wan kenobi x reader #obi-wan kenobi x you #obi-wan kenobi x fem!reader #ewan mcgregor #ewan mcgregor x reader #ewan mcgregor x you #star wars

[bestworstcase]

I feel like (different anon) half of the fandom doesn’t even care about Salem in the sense that regardless of what Her goal is? To be fair in my corner I’ve seen more individual character hatred rather than “this plot doesn’t make sense” hatred. Or ppl just saying the plot sucks without offering why they think so which is the majority of rwby “criticism”. But Salem being the key to the end of the show has been very well telegraphed since the end of volume 3. She started as this faceless monster, a creature to hate, the one who killed their headmaster and plunged the world into war. Then we learned that Oz was also keeping secrets and outright lying, so that knocked him off of the Trusted Adult pedestal (tho he has always been kinda shady but in terms of story formula that’s what I mean). Volume 6??? The Lost Fable?? Still so amazing. Salem very literally gets humanized in the eyes of our characters. She still did all of those awful things but she’s a Person now rather than an Entity. Those moments of confrontation (Ironwood’s office with Ruby, Yang while in the whale, Oscar.” We get to see her talking to her Evil Guy Crew. We see her have emotions.

AND THEN THE BROTHER GODS once thought of as entities much like how Salem was seen by the cast in the beginning. Yes they are still gods but not in the sense that at least I was thinking. They came From somewhere. And yes Salem was the first to discover they were fallible but knowing what V9 told us helped me put it into perspective

So the last arch being about fully learning what Salem wants and then, probably possibly, deciding how to help alongside with it. I think ppl get upset bc they view that as “oh yeah all the ppl she killed and lives she ruined don’t matter she’s our bestie mow” kind of Joining with Salem. When im seeing it as a more Neo agreeing to work with Cinder type deal. If Salem wants to stop the gods, get revenge, make them humble, and the gods return and want to wipe out remnant For Good, I’d say that’s a common goal our kids can get behind.

rwby is a cool show with cool villains and I enjoy it a lot and also your thoughts about it sorry this is so long

the thing with salem and the, like, common fandom interpretation of her and where her arc is headed is that. at least since v9 it’s less about resistance to the idea that the final confrontation being team rwby vs the gods as it is the way folks assume salem fits into that, namely that most of the fandom still takes completely at face value the idea that she’s selfish, arrogant, and needs to learn her lesson about the value of life and death. so you get these wild takes that the gods were assholes who punished her out of proportion for what she did, paired with this implicit idea that salem does actually deserve this punishment because she Still RefusesTo Learn Her Lesson, and thus she needs to be redeemed by team rwby proving her wrong somehow.

but like

salem did nothing wrong. praying to the gods was not wrong, reacting emotionally when they were cruel to her was not wrong, recognizing their fallibility and unworthiness was not wrong, rallying people against them was not wrong, vowing to keep fighting after they massacred everybody was not wrong, cursing them after they left and blaming them for ending the world was not wrong, jumping into the pool of grimm was not wrong, BEING grimm is not wrong, rejecting the divine mandate after ozma hid it from her for years was not wrong. frankly continuing to be a thorn in his side since then is, i would argue, also not wrong, because she’s made herself the immovable obstacle preventing him from summoning his genocidal god back to remnant to kill everyone again; it is laughably obvious that the ultimatum is not a game humanity can win. and then factoring in the part where ozma is obsessed with finding a way to destroy her, what else is she supposed to do besides live in exile. and of course if you close off every other door except violent rebellion you are eventually going to invite violent rebellion. 

so like. Salem Is Right, and seems to be taking what she considers the path of minimal destruction (the grimm held beacon but pull out of vale within a few days; her plan for haven was nearly bloodless and left mistral untouched; she made no move to attack mantle and began her siege with a grace period for her to leave in peace if the relics were surrendered), which means that she’s likely willing to negotiate methods if other less destructive paths are opened to her. her villain -> hero arc can’t turn on team rwby persuading her that she’s wrong, because fundamentally her position is “the genocidal divine tyrants do not deserve our obedience and we can and must defy them” which is, um, correct. but if they adopt that position themselves and then negotiate How i think they’ll find she’s a lot more reasonable than they’ve been led to believe, and i do not think the wider fandom is prepared for that whatsoever

#50/50 the first olive branch comes from salem’s side #which would be hysterical

[sifinspace]

After Horizon and Shepards awkward run in with his ex partner Ashley, they searched the galaxy and found an assassin named Thane, along with their old friend, Tali.

It was a happy occasion as she and Sif hugged each other in the briefing room after the mission.

After everyone dispersed, Joker told Sif to take some time. They were heading to a few planets in order to tidy up some unfinished business for the crew.

Sif didn’t argue.

———

Sif peered into the darkness of space, illuminated by glowing stars surrounding the SR2. It was captivating.

The window in her cabin made her feel like she was the only person who existed. With all the turmoil the galaxy was in, she savored moments like this one.

She stretched her back from side to side. Since the Normandy’s explosion, she could feel bad days come on sooner. As she straightened out, her door buzzed.

“Yea, come on in.” She called. 

Shepard walked in. “Hey, how’s it going?”

“Oh Commander.” She stood at attention. Her rec clothes swimming on her, and her shirt so old it was practically transparent.

“No at ease. I’m here to chat or have a beer if you’re offering.” He said nervously.

“For sure. Here.” She moved quickly and got them each a cold one from her mini fridge. “It’s slightly icy. I need to adjust the settings again.” She said passing him an ice cold brew.

“This is great, thanks for being willing to share.”

“Thanks for being my beer mule.” She grinned as she tipped her bottle at him.

They sat for a minute until she broke the silence.

“So what’s up commander, you alright after seeing Ash down on Horizon?” She asked.

“Yea-that was a trip. We didn’t part on the greatest of terms last time. As you know. Anyway- I was wondering. We have spent a lot of time together during working hours. I was wondering if you ever wanted to get a drink with me next time we are on shore leave?” 

“I mean, we’re having a drink now.” She stuttered.

Shepard nervously chuckled. “I mean like a proper drink. One where I take you somewhere you can feel, special. I’ve been thinking about it since the moment I saw you on the ship a while back. I figured why not?”

“That’s why you hugged me so much. I just thought you were happy to see me.” She grinned.

“Oh I was. Seeing you as the first person I knew I could trust, after having words with Ash, dying, and being brought back, was the best thing the Illusive man could have ever done for me.” He said rubbing his neck nervously. “I felt something when I thought you were dead on the Normandy two years ago, you don’t feel something like that for just anyone.”

Sif shifted. She hated when Jeff was right.

“I’m flattered Shep. I haven’t gone on a real date in a very long time.”

“Then let’s change that. You and me, and the best bottle of whiskey on the Citadel.” He grinned.

Sif melted into her bed. She smiled at the handsome Man looking down at her. She tried to reach his face. His brown eyes searching hers. His scars. His grin.

Her heart paused mid beat.

“I need you to do one thing.” She asked.

“For you, anything.” He said rubbing his hand down her strong arm.

“Ask Joker if Ihe is okay with that.” She said flatly.

“Is he the keeper?” 

“Kind of? You saw what happened when Kaiden suggested I leave the Normandy, I’m trying to negate that. Not saying you’re going to like me or anything, just as a precaution..”

“Do women ask you to date him?” Shepard asked.

Sif laughed, “No, I don’t think he’s ever gone on a date in all our years of being a package deal.”

Shepard laughed, “l’ll do it.” He got up to leave, “but be ready. It’s going to be fun.”

Sif smiled at him and then laid down as he walked out of her cabin. For the first time in years she was going on a proper date. Her heart raced.

Shepard was handsome. Everyone knew that. He was kind, and always so gentle in dealing with her.

She didn’t want to get involved with anyone she worked with, not since Kaiden, but this would be different.

Sif walked to her bathroom sink and stared at herself in the mirror.

“This is okay. It will be okay.” She reassured herself.

—-

Shepard sauntered to the bridge to find Joker. He wasn’t difficult to track down, he hardly left his seat.

“Joker.”

“Shepard. What can I do for you?” He said turning around his chair.

“I guess I’m here to ask you, if I can take Sif out.” He said confidently.

“You? Take Sif out, why?”  He said slightly shocked.

“. She’s amazing, and she seems like someone I’d like to know more.”

“Well, I mean. Hm, I never expected you to ask this. I’m kind of shocked.” He in fact was not shocked.

“What does that mean?”

“Sif isn’t a girl you just take out once and then ignore, or conveniently have turned against you.”

“You think I’m a - a player?”

“Well yea, you can have any woman, and I know you have, so why her?” Joker asked pointedly.

“She seems like someone I’d like to know better, and she’s a hell of a pilot.” He responded squarely.

Joker looked at Shepard hard and long. He wanted to believe him. Shepard never bothered with Sif before now, so why all of a sudden? It didn’t really make sense. He had tones of women throw themselves at him but it always ended up the same, they died, or ended up being transferred to another ship or angry at him.

Joker took in a deep breathe.

“Well, by all means you can give it a try. I didn’t take you for a man that was into married women is all.” He said of the cuff.

“What?” 

“She’s married. You knew that right? It’s in her file.” 

“I had - I didn’t know.”

“Yea, but I mean if you’re asking me, she obviously wants to go out with you. So go. Just don’t hurt her. I may not be able to kick your ass but I can open any airlock.” 

“Alright, I got the point.” Shepard said leaving the bridge.

#commander shepard #mass effect #mass effect legendary edition #jeff moreau #joker mass effect #fanfic #fanfiction #mass effect fandom #mass effect fanfiction #slow burn romance

[alexxxx-ithymia]

So NYC is 2/2 for me spending my first night there getting my back blown out LMAO

I can’t believe I forgot to post about this on my birthday a month ago

So like, I finally hooked up with a guy I’ve been friends with for years when I was up in NYC for my birthday. One could argue I’m using the term “friend” loosely here because we’ve had an on and off again flirting situation for YEARS.

We were supposed to get dinner together when I was up there back in October, but it was a mutual friend’s birthday so we couldn’t find the time. Since it was my birthday this time, however, we were able to make the time.

First off, I busted my ass because I missed the last step going down to the Airbnb 😭 Surprisingly, I didn’t feel an ounce of embarrassment and luckily I didn’t hurt myself so I just laughed it off. He was slightly concerned though and didn’t laugh

We got dinner the day before my birthday and talked for a couple hours. Then at the end he asked if I wanted to go to a bar or go back to his place. At first I said I’d be down to go to a bar but then he pointed out how I literally just said I don’t have more than 2-3 drinks and I had 2 at dinner so he offered his place again. (If we hadn’t been friends for years, I would’ve stuck to the bar and just not drank but we’ve built up enough trust for me to feel safe) So we get an Uber back to his and this is where the stars aligned for him to be the smoothest mf in the planet.

The driver’s seat was too far back for my legs to fit comfortably so he goes “oh, why don’t you scoot over here for more room?” So I scoot over and he puts his arm around me and rests his hand on my hip. Then we circle back to talking about the Topicals Slick Salve (we were talking about it earlier in the night with another friend when he came and picked me up) He asks to try it and I was like “yeah, I have it right here” and he asks if I have any on at the moment and that’s when it clicked so I put some more on and offered to have him try it. Then we made out in the backseat of the Uber the entire rest way to his place (that poor driver) That’s when things went from 0 to 100 because it was immediate open mouth French kissing when I was expecting a cute lil make out moment for us kissing for the first time. This energy continued when we got to his building where we were holding hands going to up to his apartment, which was a very cute and wholesome moment

When we got inside his apartment, we sat on his couch and started making out again. He asked what I was comfortable with and I told him I was down for wherever we end up going. I was straddling his lap while wearing a skirt so he offered me a pair of his shorts that I declined because the offer is cute and all but I’m a big bitch. His shorts weren’t going over these hips. But I did take the skirt off and was standing there in my bodysuit and watched him admire my body after he had switched into a pair of grey sweat shorts (because of course he chose the grey ones) After trying unsuccessfully to lay down and make out on his couch, he asked if I was comfortable enough to move to his bed. I said I was so he grabbed me by the hips and guided me to his room

We get to his bed and you can assume what happened after that.

I will say he was a lot rougher than I expected. Not that I’m opposed to it, but again, I wasn’t expecting it on the first link. Especially because I would never have assumed that energy from our conversations. In hindsight, I think he was a little excited and overzealous so he had to pull out all the moves because he did say he was gonna make the most of it. I should’ve taken a moment to be like “relax. I’m not going anywhere,” but alas. There were some tender moments where I’d stroke his cheek, kiss his nose, and lay on his chest. He also wished me happy birthday when it turned midnight so he was the first person to say it. Even beating out my bestie who I was staying with when she called and asked if she was the first and he mouthed “tell her yes!” When I was putting my boots on to leave, I noticed one of my heels broke from when I had fallen down the stairs earlier. He asked to see and then attempted to put my boot on my foot and I made a joke about me being Cinderella and he rolled his eyes. He also had to use his inhaler before we left 🤭 We were joking as he was walking me to my Uber and he kissed me goodbye

Overall, it felt like it was a long time coming and such a slow burn leading up to this moment. I also noticed that this was the first time I’ve had sex and not overthought every single thing. I just went with the flow, trusted myself, and let myself actually enjoy it. Idk if it’s due to it being with a longtime friend or because I’m just having more experience with sex in general, but yeah. It was nice being in the moment instead of my head for once. Even though I didn’t enjoy it as much as with the other guy in October, I’d sleep with him again if the opportunity arises. The sex wasn’t bad at all and I actually enjoyed experiencing this new level of roughness. But the reason I didn’t enjoy it as much is because it felt like a lot for a first link. There was a lack of softness, tenderness, and consideration that I really appreciated from my experience with the other guy. This time was very fast paced as opposed to the other guy where we sat in the moment and took things slower and asked questions and had check ins

But yeah, if there’s a next time, I’ll be sure to slow the pace down for sure

#I love treating my tumblr like a diary #because it truly is lmao #y’all just have the privilege of also reading my thoughts #it’s funny because the last guy said I’d be catching another body in 6 months #and I swore up and down that it wouldn’t happen #but I truly wasn’t expecting to sleep with this guy #was I hoping? yes #expecting? no #so when the previous guy called and wished me a happy birthday I had to be like ‘so you were right…’ #my shit

[thirtyoneflirtingnoneanddying]

11.21

Yeah wtf. You know I gotta put it down for posterity.

This weekend was honestly beautiful. My time with Olivia was restorative. Our talks are easily top tier. We both just…..get it. Those are simple ass terms for something so deep but like, words don’t touch the depth so I’ll leave it at that.

Speaking of words not touching the depths.

I TRULY energetically have never felt like anyone was more right for me than Tre. Which is very hard to come up against as literally nothing about it—other than he and I—seems easy at all. This all is really freaky. No one has ever looked at me the way he has and it’s so remarkable the similarities between him and the love in my dreams. That person looked at me exactly like Tre does, and that only gets truer with time. I mean, Tre said the fucking password. HE SAID IT. He said the UNSPOKEN ASS PASSWORD THAT I HAVE NEVER UTTERED TO ANYONE. Never aloud. NEVER aloud.

It’s scary. I don’t want to be wrong. We know I have been to the fullest extent. But I think before, I hadn’t learned those lessons yet. And I think now that I am aware I could be wrong sharpens the intuitive part of it. It makes the feeling that I could very well be right even stronger in a way.

The smallest things tell me. Not only all the future planning, but the future fear. The fact that he could say that one day I could get sick of him and then argue that it would be me being sick of him first as opposed to him being sick of me.

Have I happened to mention how special I think you are? I wasn’t blowing smoke when I told you I thought you were the person in my dreams. The one I asked to find me. There is nothing that I say just to hear myself talk. Or watch myself type. If I’m talking to hear myself, I am alone. I said I didn’t want to freak you out because I know it freaks me out. When I realized for the first time you looked alike, my eyes welled. Sometimes I don’t say enough because I know I run the risk of saying too much, but if I let myself say those things none of it would be a lie. None of it would be disingenuous. I mean every beautiful thing I’ve ever thought about you, spoken or not. It’s super trite, but everything before you makes perfect sense to me now. I thought I would never see that look in person. I never thought I would trust it if I did. I have never in my life met someone who could trigger me so much but in the best way, in a way that spurs me toward a better version of me, without having to incur trauma. Being able to do this with you has taught me so much about myself in such a short amount of time, I am healing because of the purity of what you’re offering me. I am learning how to be securely attached because I want to be able to do this with you. I am following your lead, regardless of where you’re leading from. Things are tumultuous as fuck because they need to be. We each have things to glean from this season. Someone will love you thru your darkest hour, someone will love me enough to dissipate the shadow of my past. I love you so much. I hope to god it’s you.

[heymusings]

Some of the worst experiences I’ve had with a fellow teacher that just blew my mind (there are really only 2 that stand out and to this day I completely unable to comprehend a teacher behaving this way).  Keep in my I teach high school.

1. Female student came to me today crying her eyes out. She has consistently been a straight A student and is genuinely a student who earns it. She had worked in a group on a project and told me she was given a C while her fellow all male group mates were given A’s. She actually asked her teacher (who is generally hated) about her grade and why she got something different then her group mates.  He straight out told her that he’s giving her a lesson as a woman because things will be harder for her. I couldn’t  believe it, but when I went to talk to him about it he confirmed it.

No one ever really figured out if he left or was fired...but we’re all pretty sure which one it was.

2. Same teacher as above constantly, and I mean CONSTANTLY holding a whole conversation with me about how stupid and pointless my subject was.  I teach English.  I explained how reading comprehension is important, and that reading literature and offering appropriate opportunities to discuss it is a great way of growing critical thinking skills. He consistently shot me down and just told me there’s no excuse since books are boring no matter how you talk about them.  I listed the books I read with my class and asked if he’d ever read any of them and he just responded, “No, why would I?” 

He also constantly tried to argue that so many author’s were “phoneys.”   His favorite was Thoreau for not living way out in the wilderness-- again, we pointed out that he does actually discuss that in his work...nope, didn’t want to here it because we were “bias.”

Seriously, who is this rude to their co workers.

3. We had a long term sub for a class (for most of the year) and we all hated them.  He constantly ragged on women in general and bragged about letting his daughter do something because he knew his ew-wife wouldn’t like it. It was never about what was good for his daughter but rather sticking it to his ex who left him (shocking).

4. Same teacher (I use the word lightly because he wasn’t...schools are desperate, especially for subs and this guy was straight out fired by the end of the year), was subbing for me one day.  Our admin had sent out some information regarding school details (such as covid and situations happening) and he ragged to the STUDENTS about how terrible the admin was. He attacked them by name. A student, perhaps one of the nicest kids you could have in class pointed out how inappropriate it  was that he was talking that way about the admin to the students. He went off and actually cursed out the student for daring to tell him what he can and can’t talk about.

Boy, were they all in a tizzy and ready to spill gossip by the end of that class.

Same teacher, contracted to stay to 3:15 but was constantly leaving REALLY early because they don’t have a class last period.  A student, again, a really nice student who had noticed this constantly happening pointed it out to him and again he blew up at that student.

Yeah, this guy was not asked to come back or take the teaching position that had opened up for the spot he had been subbing in.

#teacher gossip #work #text #things fangirls say #english #teacher #student #high school #literature #co woker

[mishafletcher]

Are you a Gold Star lesbian? (Just in case you don't know what it means, a Gold Star lesbian is a lesbian that has never had the sex with a guy and would never have any intentions of ever doing so)

So I got this ask a while ago, and I've been lowkey thinking about it ever since.

First: No. I am a queer, cranky dyke who is too old for this sort of bullshit gatekeeping. 

Second: What an unbelievable question to ask someone you don't even know! What an incomprehensibly rude thing to ask, as if you're somehow owed information about my sexual history. You're not! No one—and I can't reiterate this enough, but no one—owes you the details of their sex lives, of their trauma, or of anything about themselves that they don't feel like sharing with you.

The clickbait mills of the internet and the purity police of social media would like nothing more than to convince everyone that you owe these things to everyone. They would like you to believe that you have to prove that you're traumatized enough to identify with this character, that you can't sell this article about campus rape without relating it to your own sexual assault, that you can't talk about queer issues without offering up a comprehensive history of your own experiences, and none of those things are true. You owe people, and especially random strangers on the internet, nothing, least of all citations to somehow prove to them that you have the right to talk about your own life.

This makes some people uncomfortable, and to be clear, I think that that's good: people who feel entitled to demand this information should be uncomfortable. Refusing to justify yourself takes power away from people who would very much like to have it, people who would like to gatekeep and dictate who is permitted to speak about what topics or like what things. You don't have to justify yourself. You don't have to explain that you like this ship because this one character reminds you a bit of yourself because you were traumatized in a vaguely similar way and now— You don't have to justify your queerness by telling people about the best friend you had when you were twelve, and how you kissed, and she laughed and said it was good practice for when she would kiss boys and your stomach twisted and your mouth tasted like bile and she was the first and last girl you kissed, but— 

You don't owe anyone these pieces of yourself. They're yours, and you can share them or not, but if someone demands that you share, they're probably not someone you should trust.

Third: The idea of gold star lesbians is a profoundly bi- and trans- phobic idea, often reducing gender to genitals and the long, shared history of queer women of all identities to a stark, artificial divide where some identities are seen as purer or more valuable than others. This is bullshit on all counts.

There's a weird and largely artificial division between bisexuals and lesbians that seems to be intensifying on tumblr, and I have to say: I hate it. Bisexual women aren't failed lesbians. They're not somehow less good or less valid because they're attracted to [checks notes] people. Do you think that having sex with a man somehow changes them? What are you so worried about it for? I've checked, and having sex with a man does not, in fact, make your vagina grow teeth or tentacles. Does that make you feel better? Why is what other people are doing so threatening to you?

Discussions of gold star lesbians are often filled with tittering about hehe penises, which is unfortunate, since I know a fair few lesbians who have penises, and even more lesbians who've had sex with people, men and women alike, who have penises. I'm sorry to report that "I'm disgusted by a standard-issue human body part" is neither a personality nor anything to be proud of. I'm a dyke and I don't especially like men, but dicks are just dicks. You don't have to be interested in them, but a lot of people have them, and it doesn't make you less of a lesbian to have sex with someone who has a dick.

There's so much garbage happening in the world—maybe you haven't noticed, but things are kind of Not Great in a lot of places, and there's a whole pandemic thing that's been sort of a major buzzkill? How is this something that you're worried about? Make a tea, remind yourself that other people's genitalia and sexual history are none of your business, maybe go watch a video about a cute animal or something. 

Fourth: The idea of gold star lesbians is a shitty premise that argues that sexuality is better if it's always been clear-cut and straightforward—but it rarely is. We live in a very, very heterosexist culture. I didn’t have a word for lesbian until many years after I knew that I was one. How can you say that you are something when your mouth can’t even make the shape of it? The person you are at 24 is different to the person you are at 14, and 34, and 74. You change. You get braver. The world gets wider. You learn to see possibilities in the shadows you used to overlook. Of course people learn more about themselves as they age.

Also, many of us, especially those of us who grew up in smaller towns, or who are over the age of, say, 25, grew up in times and places where our sexuality was literally criminal.

Shortly after I graduated high school, a gay man in my state was sentenced to six months in jail. Why? Well, he’d hit on someone, and it was a misdemeanor to "solicit homosexual or lesbian activity", which included expressing romantic or sexual interest in someone who didn’t reciprocate. You might think, then, that I am in fact quite old, but you would be mistaken. The conviction was in 1999; it was overturned in 2002.

I grew up knowing this: the wrong thing said to the wrong person would be sufficient reason to charge me with a crime.

In the United States, the Defense of Marriage Act was passed in 1996, clarifying that according to the federal government, marriage could only ever be between one man and one woman. It also promised that even if a state were to legalize same-sex unions, other states wouldn't have to recognize them if they didn't want to. And wow, they super did not want to, because between 1998 and 2012, a whopping thirty states had approved some sort of amendment banning same-sex marriage.

Every queer person who's older than about 25 watched this, knowing that this was aimed at people like them. Knowing that these votes were cast by their friends and their families and their teachers and their employers. 

Some states were worse than others. Ohio passed their bill in 2004 with 62% approval. Mississippi passed theirs the same year with 86% approval. Imagine sitting in a classroom, or at work, or in a church, or at a family dinner, and knowing that statistically, at least two out of every three people in that room felt you shouldn't be allowed to marry someone you loved.

Matthew Shepard was tortured to death in October of 1998. For being gay, for (maybe) hitting on one of the men who had planned to merely rob him. Instead, he was tortured and left to die, tied to a barbed wire fence. His murderers were both sentenced to two consecutive life terms in prison. This was controversial, because a nonzero number of people felt that Shepard had brought it upon himself.

Many of us sat at dinner tables and listened to this discussion, one that told us, over and over, that we were fundamentally wrong, fundamentally undeserving of love or sympathy or of life itself.

This is a tiny, tiny sliver of history—a staggeringly incomplete overview of what happened in the US over about ten years. Even if this tiny sliver is all that there were, looking at this, how could you blame someone for wanting to try being not Like This? How can you fault someone who had sex, maybe even had a bunch of sex, hoping desperately that maybe they could be normal enough to be loved if they just tried harder? How can you say that someone who found themself an uninteresting but inoffensive boyfriend and went on dates and had sex and said that it was fine is somehow less valuable or less queer or less of a lesbian for doing so? For many people, even now, passing as straight, as problematic as that term is, is a survival skill. How dare you imply that the things that someone did to protect themself make them worth less? They survived, and that's worth literally everything.

Fifth, finally: What is a gold star, anyhow? You've capitalized it, like it's Weighty and Important, but it's not. Gold stars were what your most generous grade school teacher put on spelling tests that you did really well on. But ultimately, gold stars are just shiny scraps of paper. They don't have any inherent value: I can buy a thousand of them for five bucks and have them at my door tomorrow. They have only the meaning that we give them, only the importance that we give them. We’re not children desperately scrabbling for a teacher’s approval anymore, though. We understand that good and bad are more of a spectrum than a binary, and that a gold star is a simplification. We understand that no number of gold stars will make us feel like we’re special enough or good enough or important enough, or fix the broken places we can still feel inside ourselves. Only we can do that.

The stars are only shiny scraps of paper. They offer us nothing; we don’t need them. I hope that someday, you see that, too. 

#queer stuff #lgbtq #gold star lesbians #long post #sorry #Anonymous

[that-disabled-radfem]

Happy back-to-school y’all

I’ve attended and worked at a couple of super liberal universities. I avoid the gender studies departments for obvious reasons and I still had a lecture in which the female prof gave a brief overview of TERFs and proclaimed her hatred of JKR. Being openly critical of gender ideology, the porn industry, kinks, and ‘sex work’ are the kind of things that can ruin your future in academia. Not to mention the fact that any speech or actions that could be labelled transphobic (ie. defining woman as adult human female) can get you a suspension according to many universities anti-hate-speech policies. 

So, here’s a list of small and smallish (small in terms of overt TERFery, some may require more effort than others) radical feminist actions you can take as a university student:

(this is a liberal arts perspective so if you’re a stem gal this may not apply. but also if you’re in stem maybe you can actually acknowledge that women are oppressed as a sex class without getting kicked out of school. idk)

(Note for TRAs hate reading this: One of the core actions of radical feminism is creating female networks. This is not so that we can brainwash people into being anti-trans. This is because female solidarity is necessary for creating class consciousness and overturning patriarchy. It is harder to subjugate the female sex when we stand together.)

Take classes with female profs. Multiple sections of a class? Pick the one taught by a woman. Have to chose an elective? Only look at electives offered by women. When classes have low numbers they get cancelled. When classes are super popular, universities are forced to consider promoting the faculty that teach them

Make relationships with these female profs. Go to office hours. Chat after class. Ask them about their research. Building female networks is sooooo important!

Actually fill in your end of year course feedback forms. Profs often need these when applying for tenure or applying for a job at another university so it is very important (especially with young and/or new profs) that you fill out these forms and give specific examples of how great these women are. Go off about what you love about them! Give her a brilliant review because you know the idiot boy in that class who won’t shut up even though he knows nothing is going to give her only negative feedback because he thinks any woman who leaves the house is a feminazi b*tch. 

(note: obviously don’t go praising any prof - female or male - who is blatantly racist, homophobic, etc.)

(Also if you have shitty male profs write down all the horrible things they have done and said and put it in these forms because once a shitty man gets tenure they are virtually untouchable)

(also also, leave a good review on rate my profs or whatever other thing students use to figure out if they want to take classes. idc if you copy paste your feedback from the formal review. rave about the class to your friends. do what you can to get good enrolment for that prof for reasons above.)

Participate in class. Talk over the male students. Say what you mean and mean it. Call out the boys when they say dumb shit

Write about women. If you have the option to make a text written by a woman your primary text in an essay, do it. Pick the female-centred option if you’re writing an exam-essay with multiple prompts. (Profs often look at what works on their syllabus are being written about/engaged with as a marker of whether to keep those texts the next time they teach the class. If there are badass women on your syllabus, write about them to keep them on the syllabus) Use female-written secondary sources whenever possible. 

(pro tip: many women in academia are more than happy to talk to you about their papers. expand your female networks by reaching out to article authors through email and asking them about their cool shit)

Get your essays published! Many departments have undergrad journals you can publish in. This will ensure more people read about the women you write about and will demonstrate to the department that people like learning about women

Consider trying to publish your undergrad essay with a legit peer-reviewed journal. If you can do it, your use of female-written secondary sources boosts the reputations of the women who wrote those secondary sources. Also this helps generally to increase scholarship about women’s writing!

Present your papers at conferences! Many schools have their own undergraduate/departmental conferences that you can present at. Push yourself by submitting to outside conferences. Bring attention to women’s works by presenting your papers. Take a space at a conference that would otherwise be reserved for mediocre men

Talk to your profs and/or your department and/or your university about mandating the inclusion of female works in classes if this isn’t something they do already

Sit next to other women in your classes. Talk to them. Make friends. Form study groups. Proofread each other’s essays. Give each other knowing looks when the boys are being dumb. Just interact with other women! Build those female networks!

Be generous with your compliments. A female classmate and I were talking to a prof after class and the classmate told me (out of the blue) that I always have such interesting things to say. I think about that whenever I’m lacking confidence about my academic skills. Compliment the women in your classes for speaking up, for sharing their opinions, for challenging your classmates/profs, for doing cool presentations, etc.

Talk to other women about sexist things going on on campus. Make everyone aware of the sexist profs. Complain about how there are many more tenured men than tenured women. Go on rate my professor and be explicit about how the sexist profs are sexist

Be active on campus and in societies. If a society has an all male executive or is male-dominated, any women who join that society make it less intimidating for more women to join. Run for executive positions! Bring in more women! 

(Pro tip: Many societies’ elections are super gameable. You can be eligible to vote in a society election sometimes just by being a student at that university — even without having done anything with the society before. Other societies might just require that you’ve taken a class in a particular department or attended a society event. (Check the society’s governing documents.) Use those female networks you’ve been building. If you can bring three or four random people to vote for you, that might be enough for you to win. Societies have trouble meeting quorum (the minimum number of people in attendance to do votes) so it is really super achievable to rig an election with a few friends. And don’t feel bad about this. The system is rigged against women so you have every right to exploit loopholes!)

(Also feel free to go vote “non-confidence”/“re-open election” if only shitty men are running. Too often people see that only candidates they don’t like are running and so they give up. But you can actually stop them getting elected)

Your campus may have a LGBTQIA+alphabetsoup society. That society definitely needs more L and B women representation. It may be tedious to argue with the nb straight dudes who insist that it’s fine to use “q***r” in the society’s posters and that attraction has nothing to do with genitals, but just imagine what could happen if we could make these sorts of societies actually safe spaces for same-sex attracted women and advocated for our concerns

Attend random societies’ election meetings. Get women elected and peace out. (or actually get involved but I’m trying to emphasize the lowest commitment option with this one)

Write for the campus newspaper. Write about what women are doing - women’s sports, cool society activities, whatever. Review female movies, books, tv shows, local theatre productions. Write about sexism on campus. We need more female by-lines and more stories about women

Get involved with your campus’s sexual assault & r*pe hotline/sexual assault survivor’s centre/whatever similar organization your campus has if you can. This is hard work and definitely not for everyone (pls take care of yourself first, especially if you are a survivor)

(If your campus doesn’t have an organization for supporting survivor’s of sexualized violence, start one! This is probably going to be a lot of hard work though, so don’t do it alone)

Talk to your student council about providing free menstrual hygiene products on campus if your campus doesn’t already do this. If your campus provides free condoms (which they probs do), use that as leverage (ie. ‘sex is optional, menstruation is not. so why do we have free condoms and no free pads?’)

If you’re an older student, get involved with younger students (orientation week and such activities are good for this). Show the freshman that you can be a successful and well-liked woman without shaving your legs, wearing heels, wearing make-up, etc. Mentor these young women. Offer to go for coffee or proofread essays. 

Come to class looking like a human being. Be visibly make-up less, unshaven, unfeminine, etc. to show off the many different ways of being a woman

Talk to the custodial staff and learn their names. (I know there are men who work in this profession, but it is dominated by low-income women) Say hi in the hallways, ask them about their lives, show them they’re appreciated

Be explicit with your language. When you are talking about sex-based oppression, say it. Don’t say ‘sex worker’ when you mean survivor of human trafficking. This tip is obviously a bit tricky in terms of overt TERFyness, so use your best judgement

That’s all from me for now! Feel free to add your suggestions and remember that feminism is about action

#back to school #university #terf safe #terfs DO interact #feminist action

[shewhohangsoutincemeteries]

soft limit

Tony Stark x Reader

Prompt: “my butt is not a drum, dude!”

Summary: during a booze-fueled debrief of your latest break up, tony offers a proposition that tests your firmly set limits.

Warnings: smut, adult language, vaginal sex, alcohol (possible dub!con), dom/sub vibes without the titles, spanking.

Word Count: 3,202

Got a Request? Prompt list for: tony | clint | quill

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You grimaced at the burn of the alcohol as you threw back your shot, setting the glass down on the bar’s countertop. You shrugged a shoulder, grabbing the nearest bottle and pouring yourself another drink. “I’m sorry! It’s just never interested me before.”

“And that was the reason to end a three-month relationship?” Tony asked, a brow arching snidely as he finished his own drink. He was far more discerning in picking his next one, selecting a bottle of Macallan from the shelf above you.

“Two and a half.” you corrected, taking another drink. You smiled as he refilled your glass with tequila. “And since when do you have such an issue with short-term relationships?”

He shrugged, smirking at you from over the rim of his glass.

“Besides,” you continued. “It speaks to a larger issue. We weren’t compatible.”

“You know what I love about you?” he said with a smile, stealing a wedge of lime and sucking on it. “You’re the only person I know who starts sounding more formal when they’re drunk.”

“Blow me, Stark.”

“That’s my girl.”

You rolled your eyes at him, licking salt off the tip of your finger. “You know, I don’t even know why I told you any of this.”

“Please, when have you ever been able to say no to me?”

“You want an exact number, or should I just round to the nearest ten?”

His smile widened. “Or maybe it’s because I’m the one supplying you with all this top shelf booze.”

You pointed a finger at him, taking another shot. “That’s a very good point.”

“I’ve been known to make them every now and again.” he took a sip of his drink, leaning on his elbows on the counter, bringing his face closer to yours. While he hadn’t had quite as much alcohol as you had, you could see in his eyes that the booze was beginning to affect him. “Seriously, though. You didn’t even try it before you broke the poor guy’s heart?”

You gave him a pointedly tired look. “Two and half months, Tony. He was hardly in love with me.”

“You’re dodging the question.”

You sighed. “No, I’ve never tried it. But I’ve never tried skydiving without a parachute either and I’m pretty sure I’d hate that.”

“First of all, you did that on that mission in Bosnia last month.”

“Fair point,” you admitted. “But it still doesn’t mean that I’d like being spanked.”

Tony’s lips twitched upward. “Why are you so against it?”

“Because my butt is not a drum, dude!” you exclaimed, ignoring his answering snicker. “And it’s…. it’s, I don’t know, infantilizing.”

Tony rolled his eyes, straightened and finished his drink before walking around to your side of the bar. He took hold of your hand, pulling you off of your stool. You stumbled slightly as he did, your other hand catching the bar to steady yourself. You raised a brow suspiciously but didn’t argue, scooping up your drink and letting him drag you to the couch on the other side of the room.

“As much as I’m enjoying your very clinical opinions on the matter, Doc, I really don’t think you get the point.” He released your hand and took a seat in the middle of the couch, legs spread comfortably, and his posture relaxed. He patted his thighs with both hands, fixing you with an almost cocky, slightly drunken smirk. “C’mon.”

You scoffed a laugh even as you felt heat rise in your neck. “You’ve got to be kidding, Tony.”

“You trust me, don’t you?”

“With my life? Absolutely.” you replied without hesitation. “With whatever you’ve got planned on that couch? Not at all.”

“You’re a psychologist, aren’t you?” he replied teasingly, holding a hand out to you again. “Call it a study in sexual psychology.”

“You’re a pervert,” you sighed, almost amused, raising your gaze to the ceiling as he chuckled. He watched as you downed your shot, tossing the empty glass aside and wiping your mouth with the back of your hand as it bounced unharmed on the carpet. You took his hand and his smile widened; you avoided his eye pointedly as he guided you to straddle his lap. “Happy now?”

“Starting to be.”

Tony’s hands alighted on your thighs, just above your knees, smoothing over the thin material of your stockings. His thumb slipped just under the hem of your skirt, and you felt a shiver run up your spine despite yourself. Why the hell did you wear a skirt today?

You could feel the warmth of him against your thighs, the roughness of his jeans against the silky fabric over your legs; it was like it was heightening the already overwhelming sensation of having Tony between your thighs. He rubbed the hem of your skirt between his fingers.

“Have I told you how much I like this little outfit you’re wearing?”

“No, but if you’re not careful, I’ll find out just how much.”

He snickered, his tongue touching his bottom lip for a second.

Fuck.

You folded your arms over your chest, meeting his eye with forced impatience. “So?”

“So…?”

“So? Why exactly am I on your lap?” you asked as Tony’s fingers hooked around the back of your bent knees. Your surprise caught in your throat as he tugged you closer, sliding you against his lap. You felt heat rising in your face as you steadied yourself, your hands landing on his chest.

“Honestly? Just wanted to see if you’d do it.”

You smacked him in the chest, a little harder than necessary. He laughed aloud, rubbing the spot you’d hit, your breath shaking as his other hand trailed further up the side of your thigh. “Tony…”

“Relax,” he murmured, a small smirk playing on his lips. He reached up, brushing a strand of hair behind your ear. You swallowed. Maybe it was the shots, but even as some part of you shouted at you that this was a bad idea, his touch, his gaze held your body in place. The hand still on your leg moved higher, his other coming down to take a gentle hold of your waist, his thumb brushing against your ribs. “I got you.”

You smiled despite yourself, teeth catching the inside of your bottom lip. “Maybe that’s exactly what’s got me so nervous.”

“So, I make you nervous, huh?”

You rolled your eyes at him, and his smile widened.

“Have you really never thought about it?” his voice dropped lower, more intimate, and his hand moved from your thigh to ghost the back of his fingers down the length of your arm. His other hand tightened ever so slightly on your waist for a moment before slipping down to your hip. His fingertips found the sliver of bare skin above the waistband of your skirt, and it was like his touch was burning your skin.

You wet your lips nervously at the change in his tone, your breath coming to you shakily. Your head was spinning slightly, and Tony was so close, the feel of him against your thighs, between them, his face only inches from your own. He leaned up towards you, lips parting, his hands moving slowly. They slid at a torturous pace around to your ass, and you could feel the waistband of your stockings rolling down over your hips under your skirt from the way you were sitting. He squeezed your ass lightly, guiding your hips to roll, just once, against him. Your breath caught, your hands curling in his shirt. Tony’s eyes fluttered closed for a moment, his jaw ticking, before he met your gaze again.

“Not once? Late at night… between the sheets?”

You had to find your voice, eyes falling to his lips. “Thought about…?”

Him? Having Tony Stark like this, between your legs? Having him thrust up into you, his hands gripping at your thighs, his mouth on your throat? Moaning his name and hearing him grunt yours through gritted teeth, his voice hoarse and desperate and filled with the need for more as his cock filled you?

“About how it feels,” Tony whispered, his nose grazing along the curve of your jaw. You tilted your head to the side, eyes closing and a sigh on your lips. His voice was like warm caramel in your ear. “That contrast between pleasure and pain…”

You shook your head wordlessly, fingers tightening on his shirt.

He smiled, leaning up towards you. The tip of his nose bumped against yours, his lips a mere breath away from your own. You could almost feel them brush against yours as he spoke, and you felt the apex of your thighs tingle.

“Want to find out?”

Tony’s lips met yours with a surprising hunger, his kiss a heady mix of tongue and the graze of teeth that spoke of desperation and lust. Your hands tightened in his shirt, so hard you heard a tear, and you could feel his answering smirk against your lips.

You melted into his touch despite yourself, body arching into his as you released his shirt and instead took hold of his face, fingers sliding into his hair, holding him to you. His breath was hot against your face, the two of you barely parting more than an inch to steal a breath before his lips were on yours again, and you were swallowing his groan as your hips rolled against him once more

Your stockings were rolling down further, bunching under the curve of your ass, creating an extra line of friction between the two of you. Tony’s hands bunched in your skirt as he kissed you, the hem of it whispering against your skin as he pulled it higher. His fingers grazed the bare skin exposed, his thumbs hooking briefly under the elastic of your underwear.

Tony kissed with his whole body; he leaned into you, his jaw tight and his arms banded around you, his torso flush against your own. His hands tightened incrementally, encouraging you to continue your slow grind over his lap.

You whimpered as you felt the length of him slowly harden between your thighs, didn’t protest when he hooked his fingers in the waistband of your underwear and slowly drew them down to bunch alongside your stockings.

You knew you were steadily approaching the point of no return in your friendship with Tony Stark, but when he moaned into your mouth, needy and wanting, you couldn’t bring yourself to care. He felt so good, sounded so good... tasted of whiskey and sin.

SMACK.

“Fuck, Tony!” you yelped, jerking against him at the sudden sting against your ass. Tony broke away from your lips with a snicker, his head falling against your shoulder. The way you jumped sent your hips sliding against him in a way that you could feel his erection slide against your cunt, and you moaned aloud. The contrast between that sharp snap of pain that still lingered like a heat in your skin and the jolt of pleasure that ran up your spine made your whole body tingle, your eyes rolling back as Tony massaged his hand over the mark he’d undoubtedly left behind.

“Thoughts, Doctor?” he murmured, teeth catching his bottom lip. His smile widened as you reached for his belt buckle, and he brought his other hand down on the opposite cheek, equally hard. You rewarded this time with a light, needy moan, fingers faltering against the leather of his belt. “Any findings you’d like to share?”

“Bite me, Stark.” you replied without any venom to your voice, pulling his shirt off over his head and throwing it aside.

“Now there’s an idea,” he growled with a grin, one hand leaving your ass and instead fisting in your hair to pull you into another fiery kiss. You unfastened his belt and pants, and Tony broke the kiss, breathing a curse against your chin as you slipped your hand inside and slid it over his cock. He was hard and thick in your hand, and you felt him twitch under your palm, his lips ghosting almost absent-minded kisses over the edge of your jaw.

You gasped, hand squeezing him as he suddenly sunk his teeth into the side of your throat. He lathed his tongue over the mark he left behind, his mouth moving to speak teasingly in your ear. His tone was rougher than before, threaded with his own desire.

“You make the prettiest sounds, sweetheart.” he murmured, teeth catching your earlobe for a second. You whimpered; your hand still wrapped around his cock. You stroked him steadily, hoping to bring the same sense of desperation out of him that he was finding in you. “Are you starting to understand?”

“You talk too much.” you pulled his mouth back to yours fiercely, tongue pushing into his mouth. Tony grinned into the kiss, taking a tight hold of your hips and lifting you long enough to guide you over his cock. You moaned as he lowered you onto it, clutching at his shoulders as he filled you.

Tony’s head fell back for a moment as he adjusted to the feeling of you around him before pressing his forehead against your own, cursing under his breath as you began to grind against him again. Each rise and fall over his lap had his cock sliding against the silky material of your stockings, and his hands tightened painfully on your waist. “Fuck, sweetheart…”

He brought his hand down on your ass again, harder than before, and you jerked against him, teeth buried in your bottom lip as your clit brushed against his hip bone. Your voice came high-pitched and broken, your nails digging into his shoulders. “Tony—”

“Sexiest… sweetest… fucking sounds…” he reiterated, smoothing his hand over your ass and up to the small of your back. He slid his hand under your shirt, fingertips tickling along your back. Compared to the heated sting still radiating through your backside it was a whisper, and shivers danced along your spine. “Absolutely gorgeous…”

He pulled your shirt off over your head, his hands ghosting up over your ribs before he cupped your breasts, pinching your nipples through the lace. His mouth fell to your collarbone, pressing open-mouthed kisses along your chest as you fucked him. You could feel the familiar tingling settling into the small of your back, the muscles in your legs tightening as your orgasm crested, and you came with a moan.

“Fuck, that might be the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen,” Tony murmured, smoothing his hand over the side of your face. His other hand urged you off of his lap, and you let him guide you to kneel, your front pressed against the back of the couch and your knees spread as wide as the stockings still wrapped around your thighs would allow. He lifted your skirt, giving your ass another, almost playful, swat as he moved to kneel behind you, his lips on your shoulder as he unclipped your bra. You let it fall from your arms and tossed it aside, quivering as you felt him run a couple of fingers almost idly over your ass, tracing the mark he’d left behind. “And look how pretty and pink you get…”

Your moan caught in your throat as Tony thrust hard into you, his chest flush against your back. Your fingers curled against the top of the couch, grasping at the fabric as Tony pulled out and pushed right back in to the hilt. He tucked your hair over one shoulder before his lips found the base of your neck, his hands wrapping around your middle.

His hand came up to clutch at your chest, your nipple hard and aching against the palm of his hand as he groped your breast roughly, his teeth making new marks against your throat. Your head fell back against his shoulder, and you could feel his smirk as you moaned in his ear when his other hand slid down between your legs to circle fingers over your clit. You reached behind you blindly, hand grasping at his thigh, his ass, back arching to press your ass back into him, urging him deeper into your eager, soaking cunt.

Sweat was clinging to your skin, your skirt bunched awkwardly between you and the stockings cutting into your thighs. Tony’s hand were rough, the words he muttered into your ear promising further sin and exalting every inch of you, his voice tight and gruff and breaking as every thrust of his hips brought him closer to climax. He murmured praise in your ear when you came again, and you whined, thrilled as he whispered, “Good girl.”

It wasn’t until you arched your neck back and turned your head to capture his mouth in another torrid kiss that his hips finally lost their rhythm and he thrust into you in one hard, definite stroke and came, his hand quickening on your clit. You bit his lip hard enough to draw blood as another orgasm rushed through you, and Tony pulled out of you, urging you to turn to kiss him more fully.

You could feel his cum dripping down your thighs as your legs tangled with his, your arms wrapping around his neck. He took a gentler hold of your waist, his thumbs brushing over your ribs. He pushed you carefully back against the couch, laying you out against the cushions, his body stretched out on his side, tucked between you and the back of the couch.

Tony’s hand came up to touch your cheek, and he smoothed hair away from your face almost delicately.

“So…” his playfully causal tone would have sounded convincing if he wasn’t still trying to catch his breath. He dropped another quick kiss on your lips, his hand trailing down the side of your neck. “Thoughts? Feelings?”

You rolled your eyes at him, trying in vain to hold back your smile as he grinned cockily down at you. His fingertips grazed along your chest, travelling at a glacial pace over your sternum. You could feel the fabric of the couch sticking to your sweaty skin, but you couldn’t bring yourself to care.

“Did you like it?”

“You couldn’t tell, Stark?”

He smirked, tracing a circle around your navel, his voice a teasing sing-song. “I wanna hear you say it.”

You pretended to think about it for a moment; Tony’s fingers now skimming over the top of your thigh. You nodded after a moment, giving him a friendly clap of the chest before moving to stand. “You’re right. I loved it. I should go and give him a call, see if we can—”

You laughed as Tony grabbed your arm and pulled you back down on the couch, the sound smothered as he covered your lips with his own. You continued to giggle into the kiss, breath catching slightly as you felt him tweak your nipple.

“You really think I’m going to let you go anywhere after that?” he asked, his nose brushing against yours.

“No?” you replied teasingly, a thrill already settling in the pit of your stomach.

“No.” he replied with a smile, pressing a kiss to the tip of your nose. “Mine now.”

.

.

.

.

Merry Christmas/Happy Holidays Everyone! Thanks for reading!

tags:  @lovely-dreamer19 @wittyforachange @wefracturedmotivation @january-echoes @glossyloner @capitalnineteen @youclickedthislink @s0ftness @castieltrash1 @absolutly-me  @startrekkingaroundasgard @fandoms-pizza-wifi-ym13 @lol-you-thought @sebbystanlover-vk @mikariell95 @csigeoblue @abrunettefangirlnerd​ @babyblues915​ @aar-journey​ @moistpotatobear​ @capsironunderoos @bellamyblakemorley​ @diesinspanishbcimhispanic​ @sentimentalalien​ @agustdowney​ @akumune​ @xxboesefrauxx

#tony stark #tony stark x reader #tony stark x you #tony stark x original character #tony stark x ofc #tony stark x oc #tony stark reader insert #tony stark fanfiction #tony stark fanfic #tony stark imagine #iron man #iron man x reader #iron man x you #iron man x original character #iron man x ofc #iron man x oc #iron man imagine #iron man fanfiction #iron man fanfic #iron man reader insert #marvel #marvel fanfic #marvel fanfiction #marvel reader insert #marvel imagine #mcu #mcu fanfiction #mcu reader insert #mcu fanfic #mcu imagine

[hereforhalstead]

“I’m all yours” Part 2

*Gif not mine, credits to the owner*

• Pairing: Jay Halstead x Reader

• Requested: Yes.

• Warnings: angst/Swearing/adult themes/unloving relationship/mentions of mental abuse

• Summary: Part 2 to “I’m all yours” as requested! You can find Part 1 here.

• Words: 6138

• A/N :  Thanks so much for all the great feedback on it and for your continued support - hope you enjoy and that it lives up to part 1! Got the inspo from watching ‘Workin Moms’ on Netflix, highly recommend.. also as before, I do not condone cheating or the treatment of any relationship like this. My inbox is always open if you want to talk and I know it's very hard but remember you're worthy and you deserve the best. Please do not hesitate to let me know if anything in this is too close to the mark as that’s the last thing I want (i might be reading too deep into this but want to be sure I’ve made myself clear

***

“Jay. I need you in here with me” Voight swings the door open, forcing Jay to release you from his tight grasp and turn his back to you as if he didn’t have you pinned to the wall whispering into your ear a few seconds ago. 

“Am I interuppting something here?” his gruff voice questions to which you shake your head “Right well come on Halstead, you’re with me” Voight exits the room, allowing you to finally release the smirk you’d been witholding. Jay turns back to you, running a hand along his jawline as he chuckles but you can still see the hunger behind his eyes as he winks “To be continued”. 

You take a moment to yourself, running your hand through your hair before allowing yourself to lean your back against the wall to take the weight off. It all seemed to happen so fast that you could barely recollect the situaion but all you knew was you hadn’t felt this way in a very long time. That passion building, waiting for the other to lean in first, the way your skin burns when he touches you and the rate your heart is beating even after he’s no longer here was enough to solidify how bad you wanted him and even better, he wanted you more.   

You watch through the one sided glass as Jay and Voight enter the room, Jay now looking as stern as ever, a complete 180 from the man who was just stood before you. He bores his eyes down onto the suspect and you feel your stomach flip at the mere sight of the way he leans his hands down on the desk and towers over the man, finding yourself instinctively chewing at your bottom lip and consumed by thoughts you shouldn't be having at your place of work about your partner. 

You continue to watch, time flying by as you sit back and watch Jay do what he does best but despite how well he can calm Voight down it wasn’t working. Voight was loosing it which was spurring the suspect on to act more of an idiot by the minute, clearly getting some form of pleasure of out of he was getting under Voight’s skin. 

“Sarge, can we step outside a moment?” Jay interupts Voight who currently had the suspect by the collar of his shirt, his eyes dart to Jay and then back to the man who was laughing in his face. You actually felt for the guy, not knowing what he was letting himself in for but also not being jealous of the pair of them currently trying to interrogate him but clearly failing. Voight shoves the suspect back into the chair and storms out of the room to be shortly followed by Jay, you watch as the man seems to stare directly at you and even though you know he can’t see you, you still feel the chills run down your spine at the emptiness behind his eyes and the slight smile he has on his lips. 

You hear Voight and Jay exchanging heated words just outside the door and you flinch when the door to the room you were in swings open  “Y/N, you’re up” Voight orders and you instantly feel sick that you would have to face the suspect who clearly had no means of confessing. Normally you’d stand up for yourself but the way Voight held his fists at his sides and the vein throbbing in his neck it was hardly the situation to argue so you did as you were told. Voight takes your place observing and you exit the room to be met by Jay leaning back against the wall, passing you the file as you approach him “you got this?” he asks with a slightly raised brow, you nod and try to ignore the hand he places on your lower back to usher you into the room with a hushed chuckle “you’re the only one I can rely on these days”.

You didn’t have the most experience when it came to interviews so whenever you were in this room you felt on edge, let alone when you know Voight is burning his eyes into your back and watching like a hawk, but something about Jay being by your side made it that tiniest bit easier. You begin to probe the suspect who was now slouching back in his chair, clearly also at ease by the lack of Voight’s presence and you sat across from him instead. You felt ill at the way he was looking at you and the way Jay’s muscles were tightening as he glared at the suspect didn’t go unnoticed either. “Aren’t you a pretty little thing” he comments with a grossly inapropriate smile and you scoff “Don’t look at her, look at me” Jay extends his arm across the desk to get his attention but it doesn’t work so he’s on his feet and leaning over the suspect in seconds “Lose the grin, or I will lose it for you”. 

You cough to break the tension, already predicting Voight would crash through the door at any moment to stop the interview but luckily there was no sign. You continued your questioning and it was clear neither of you could get through to him “I can’t be asked to sit here and let you waste my time” you sigh, standing from your seat and grabbing the file to exit “leaving so soon, pretty girl? that’s a shame” he comments and you shake your head with a pity laugh. “Where you’re going, you’ll be the pretty girl” you comment, smile spread as his face drops and you see Jay cover a smirk with his hand “she’s not wrong” he shrugs his shoulders, also standing from his seat to join you in leaving the room “enjoy your time in there buddy” he pats him on the shoulder as he passes “you’re gonna need it”. 

You walk down the corridor with Jay, still laughing between yourselves but a sudden silence when Voight appears before you “What the hell was that?” he barks as you stand wide eyed but luckily Jay speaks for you “he’ll confess Sarge, we just need to let him sit”  he reassures but Voight wasn’t satisfied “we don’t have time to let him sit Jay, you’re all gonna swan off to this party tonight so we need to get him by then” he demands “What like you’ve always got them to confess the first time?” he comments under his breath and Voight see’s red.

“I think you need to remember who you’re talking to Detective” he presses his finger into Jay’s chest and you step in “Sarge, you just gotta trust us. We know what we’re doing” you can see he is slightly taken back by the way you defend Jay but he isn’t shocked “just get it done” he groans before storming back into his office to leave you and Jay alone again. "thanks” Jay mumbles, frustration laced through his whisper, you lay your hand on his back and you notice him slightly relax under your touch as you offer him a reassuring smile and a shrug of your shoulder “always”. 

***

Tonight was some big police annual gala and usually you were buzzing for it but tonight just wasn’t the night for it. You and Jay had spent hours trying to break down the walls of the suspect only for it to get you no where, you felt defeated and tensions were running high. It fell to Voight and Olinsky to eventually crack him but after some of their ‘persuasion’ of course.. This left you feeling not as guilty for not getting to him as they clearly used different methods to you and Jay so were incomparable in terms of techniques. 

Even when you had a spare minute to yourself you find yourself replaying what happened with Jay in the observation room, the way he had you pinned and the hunger you could see and feel in the way he grabbed you set something off inside you. You’d barely been alone with him since then due to the busyness of the case but the occasional glances and minor touches as you passed his desk was making the tension unbareable but you still couldn’t ignore the pit in the bottom of your stomach. You still had somewhat of a boyfriend, even if he was a piece of shit who didn’t make you feel wanted, he was still your boyfriend and to your annoyance it wasn’t sitting right with you. 

Jay was everything you needed and you knew he could give you everything you wanted and so much so that it scared you. He was perfect in your eyes and you felt as though you didn’t deserve him, you’d never be able to tell him this as you knew he wouldn’t stand for it but you couldn’t help the way you felt. You were so defeated that you felt as though you deserved a trashy relationship and weren’t good enough to be with someone like Jay. This made you feel worse as no matter how much you desired him you still couldn’t shake the feeling of guilt.

You tried to rack your brain to think of the last time your boyfriend Mike had made you feel half as good as Jay does but you couldn’t even think of anything close. You were trying so hard to give him an inch of self worth but there was nothing, he hadn’t made you feel wanted or even like he loved you yet you still felt bad for showing interest in Jay. You’d have to put your feelings for your partner to one side and no matter how impossible it seemed you’d try to convince yourself he wasn’t for you. 

You’d managed to escape the district without anyone seeing you and by anyone you meant Jay. Unlocking your car and dumping your bag into the back, you jump when you see Jay standing there as you slam the truck down in frustration “You trying to kill me?” you hit his shoulder as you pass but he doesn’t move, instead his eyes scan as you slightly graze him to try and get to the passenger side “You’re just gonna leave without saying anything?” you could feel your heart pull at the hurt behind his words, the concern sweeping across his brows and the way he held his hands together like he did when he was nervous. “I need to get ready for tonight” you fake smile but he wasn’t buying it.

 “So you’re going back to him?” he kicks a stone on the ground and you follow his gaze as he looks back up at you “I don’t have a choice Jay” you plead, causing him to cup your cheeks in his hands to force you to look at him “Of course you have a choice Y/N. You always have a choice” he reassures but you stand in silence, unsure how to respond “If you’re scared of him, I’ll come back with you or hell I’ll go and collect your stuff for you and you can stay with me for a bit” he runs his thumb gently across your cheek and for that split second you can’t hold back your desires as you find yourself leaning into him.

You manage to catch yourself and put your hands against his chest to stop “It was a mistake Jay, I’m sorry for leading you on but it’s not gonna happen”. 

You pull yourself away from him and open the passenger door to get inside before he has a chance to pull you back “ That’s bullshit and you know it Y/N” he leans against your door, speaking through your car window but you keep your eyes focused on turning the key to start the engine before mumbling “I’m sorry” and driving away.

You look into your mirror, watching as Jay stands there defeated with his hands hung low and his head dipped “You’re a fucking idiot Y/N” you curse yourself before taking another look in the mirror to see Jay was gone.

***

You flicked through the dresses in your wardrobe, really not being in the mood for the party was in a strange was urging you to put more effort in to hope it would lift your spirits. You’d poured yourself a few glasses of your favourite mixer and had some music playing in the background to assist in your motivation. Of course you were home alone, what else is new..

You were used to coming home to an empty apartment, after moving in with Mike after just a few dates there was always such excitement to return from work to see him lounging on the sofa and ready to engulf you in his arms but that didn’t last long. He would be out until late, without even so much of a text message which would leave you sitting around waiting before eventually giving up in the small hours of the morning to retire to bed alone. You found it funny at this point, the classic ‘gotta laugh or you’ll cry’ really was how you dealt with it and you thought that was for the best. 

You’d stumbled upon a little satin black dress that you’d bought for your birthday last year but due to staying late at work you never got the chance to wear it so it would be perfect for tonight. After a little touch of make up and keeping your hair simple you stopped to examine yourself in the mirror and for the first time in a while you were surprsingly pleased at who was looking back at you. You’d hardly bothered with your appearance anymore, going out to a party was a rareity so it always did seem to take you back a bit when you looked like this and you were feeling good.

After taking another sip of your drink your mind started to wander, Jay creeping up behind you and snaking his arms round your waist as you admire yourself. His lips pressing into your neck as he whispers into your ear of how good you look and how lucky he is to have you sent the chills down your spine. You’d wrap your hands around Jay’s forearms as he trails his lips along your shoulder, lifting your hair to the other side to allow him access to your exposed skin as he nips lightly at the corner to make you giggle. 

You were so lost in your thoughts that when the door slammed you almost dropped your drink in fright, you quickly downed the remainder before heading out of the bedroom and into the main open place space. Running your hands over your dress to smooth out any creases you look up to see Mike ripping the tie from around his neck and shoving it onto the counter. You stand in the doorway, waiting to see if he notices you and gives you the attention you now so desperately crave, even if it wasn’t from him. 

Instead, he heads for the kitchen and pours himself a drink, takes the glass and slumps on the sofa without so much as a second look at you. You clear your throat to get him to look up but still nothing. With your hands on your hips you strut over to stand in front of the TV so he had no choice but to see you blocking his view. He takes a sip from the glass and shrugs, still trying to look round you to see the pointless comedy show that was playing on the screen “going somewhere?” he questions, eyes still averted from you. You lean into your hip and raise your brows down at him “It’s the gala? You’re meant to be my plus one?”. He takes another sip with a shake of his head “Don’t know what you’re talking about”.

This is the first time you’ve spoken in hours and he already has that look of grimace on his face, looking straight through you as if you’re not even there. Luckily, the liquid courage had made it easier to deal with as you let his words bounce off you, the thoughts of Jay quickly making their way back into your mind. How his jaw would drop if he walked through the door and you greeted him like this, infact even if you were in joggers and a sweater he would still tell you how gorgeous you looked. He’d wrap you in his arms, running his fingertips up and down your sides as he admired his girl standing in front of him with the confidence that no matter how many guys drooled over her she would still go back to him. You wanted to be that girl. 

“Just change your shirt, we’re leaving in 5 minutes” you demand, heading into the kitchen yourself to grab yourself another drink as you had a feeling you’d be needing it. You hear him grumble something as he clambers from the sofa and drags himself into the bedroom, a part of you shocked he actually did as he was asked but the other part regretting reminding him as the thought of spending the night alone with Jay was sounding all the more tempting. 

A few moments go by and you’re sitting at the table waiting for him, legs swinging with your head resting on your hand as your mind is clouded with the thoughts of the all too familiar detective. Was he going to be wearing a suit? Would he need help choosing a shirt and tie combo? You’d sit on the bed as he’d groan into the mirror when he couldn’t work out which one looked better. Turning to you to ask for your opinion as you tie the best looking one round his neck, feeling his breath on your lips as he glares intently down at you. His hands finding their way to your hips as you button the top few buttons of his shirt up before hooking his collar back over the tie. Feeling him watching you’re every move as his grasp on you tightens, sitting back down onto the bed to pull you onto his lap. You swing your legs over each of his as he leans back and pulls you on top of him, his arms keeping you on him as you try to escape as you tease about how you were going to be late-

“How’s this?” a voice interrupts your thoughts, looking up to see Mike in a fresh white shirt tucked into black jeans “No tie?” you ask, slightly dissapointed but he scoffs “It’s not that fancy, don’t know why you’re so dressed up” he comments, feeling the all too normal pit in your stomach as you brush it off “lets go then so we can get this over with”.

**

From the moment you arrived you felt on edge, you hadn’t seen Jay yet and you couldn’t ignore the way your heart dropped at the thought of him not being there. Deep down he was the only reason you’d dressed up, the motivation for you to be there and the only thing you could look forward to was seeing him but still no sign. You were stood at the bar, watching as Mike eyed up every girl that passed like they were piece of meat and it made you feel sick.

You stood chatting with Kim who was soon joined by Adam, draping his arm round her waist as they stood opposite you to make conversation. You could feel Mike wasn’t paying attention and had even taken a seat at one of the bar stools so he wasn’t even part of the conversation. You couldn’t help the thoguhts drift back into your mind, how you knew if you were with Jay he would proudly have his arm round you when you were at an event or even have his hand protecvitely resting on your lower back to let you know he was still there as a form comfort. He’d whisper in how he can’t wait to get you alone, making you giggle as his breath hits your ear to make the hairs on your neck stand on edge. He’d love to tell people how you met at work but always knew there was something more, others would comment on how smitten he was with you and how he looked at you with those doting eyes like you were his whole world and he wanted everyone to know. 

Kim hits your arm in laughter to bring you out of your thoughts but Adam was looking like he could murder. Glaring at Mike like he wanted to lay into him, scoffing at the disrespect and the poor way he was treating his friend. You slightly dreaded how Jay would react and honestly hoped they wouldn’t see each other but it was too late. 

You were chatting away, in efforts to try and distract Adam from the way Mike was behaving when you saw him appear through the crowd from over Adam’s shoulder. It was like a cliche movie, you zoned into him like he was the only one in the room, Kim’s words fading into the background as you could almost hear the laughter falling from his lips as he engages in conversation. You suddenly felt safe, like you knew nothing would happen to you as long as he was there and you just wanted to be tucked under his arm for the rest of the night but you had to play it cool. 

Watching as he heads towards you, drink in one hand with the other stuffed in his pants pocket. The crisp black shirt that was paired with a black tie finished it off, that man could look good in anything but seeing him in all black flicked a switch inside you and gave you that all too familiar feeling of the craving you had for him. His eyes widened when he saw you standing there, roaming your body and admiring every inch before Adam nudged him to get his attention “Bro, you didn’t look at me like that” he acted hurt, his hands on his heart as he pleaded “I just want Halstead to look at me like he looks at Y/N. Is that too much to ask?” he pretends to wipe a tear as you roll your eyes “Look like that in a dress and I’ll think about it” Jay comments, still with his gaze on you as you feel the heat rise to your cheeks “You look alright too I guess” you tease but this is when Mike decides he finally wants to join in. 

“You must be Jack” he extends his hand out to Jay who looks at him with a laughter in disgust “It’s Jay” he grimaces a smile and you try to hide yours by taking another sip of your drink. Mike drops his hand as Jay doesn’t meet his gesture as Kim breaks the silence “Who wants another drink?” she asks and you raise your empty glass “You’ve had enough, don’t want you making a fool of yourself” Mike mocks, expecting others to laugh at his comment but no one does.

You notice Jay’s fists clench at his sides and if Adam didn’t look happy before, he certaintly doesn’t now. Kim places a hand to his arm to calm him down and you only wish you could do the same to Jay but instead you watch as he eyes Mike, only imagining the thoughts that were going through his head as his nostrils flare. “I’m gonna head to the bathroom” Mike announces before excusing himself, leaving you stood in silence as Kim hands you another drink with that familiar sympathetic smile “I’m gonna kill him” Adam scoffs and Jay hums in agreement “You’re telling me”. 

It had been a while since Mike left your side, you’d barely noticed until Kim commented on how long he had been. You took a quick scan of the room but couldn’t see him anywhere and it’s like the feeling in your gut was trying to tell you something as you find yourself heading towards the bathroom before you can think. You march your way through the people, ignoring the calls from behind you and too focused on what you knew you were about to see. You slam the stall doors open one by one but he wasn’t there, a sigh of relief as you didn’t want to catch him out at one of your work parties was soon ruined as you hear a moan coming from down the hall. You storm towards the noises, blocking them out as you get closer and turn the corner to see Mike holding an unfamiliar girl up against the wall with her dress hiked up around her waist. 

You can’t move. As much as you want to scream and run, it’s like your feet are glued to the floor and you can’t move an inch. Instead you stand and watch them all over each other, him with a dare you say smile on his face as their lips intertwine. A sudden noise from behind you forces him to look in your direction, doing the quickest double take when he see’s you standing there but he still didn’t stop. Instead he dug his head further into her shoulder with every thrust, stopping to look up at you with an evil glint in his eye as he clearly enjoyed the fact you’d caught him and wanted you to watch. 

You finally come to your senses and headed back to the bar, no urgency in your walk, anger in your head or even tears in your eyes as you kept your head high and acted as if nothing has happened. As you approach you see the heads turn to you with concern “Where the hell were you?” Kim questions with a hushed tone “Did you find him?”. You shake your head “Want me and Jay to go and look for him?” Adam suggests and you chuckle “If I want to find a body in the river tomorrow, I’ll give you a shout”. 

You down your drink in one as Adam and Kim resume their conversation, Jay brings himself over to you and rests his hand on your lower back as he leans into you “You wanna get some fresh air?” he asks and you nod “like you wouldn’t believe”. He keeps his hand pressed into your back as he guides you out of the room and towards the exit into the majestic grounds of the hall. You can’t help but constantly look through the faces to try and spot Mike but there was no sign, probably still with that girl in the bathrooms or even better he’s taken her home to the apartment you shared and was fucking her into your bedspread. 

As soon as the fresh air hits you it feels like a sigh of relief, it was just you and Jay with no one else around, a complete contrast from the noisy crowded party and you wouldn’t want it any other way. There was a side to you that wanted to blurt it all out, knowing Jay would storm in there and lay into Mike was something you really wanted to see. The anger rising in his body as he clenches his fists, the vein in his neck popping as you confess or the desperation in his eyes as he asks you to tell him where he is, but there was the other side that wanted to keep it bottled up.

You knew the second option was wrong as it would just be another plan of self destruction and there was no way you could go back to that apartment tonight. There was only one person you knew you wanted to leave with and that same person was now the only one standing before you. 

‘Fuck it’ you thought to yourself and there it was, the moment you built up the courage to push your lips onto his. His arms clung at your waist from the sudden contact, pulling you into him but soon retracting when he realised what was happening “What’s going on? You sa-” he began but you leant in to try and cut him off but he wasn’t having it. His hand was still pressed into your back so you were inches apart, his eyes flicking between your lips and back up to your eyes but he was trying to control himself and make sure it was what you wanted. Normally this would make your legs weak at how sweet and considerate you knew he was but you needed him, you longed for him, you craved him and now you had the fear he didn’t want you. 

“You said you didn’t want this?” he questions with a huff “I was lying” you smile “I want you. You know I want you Jay” you yet again lean into him but he puts his hands on your waist firmly to keep you apart “Has something happened?”. Without words he already knows, the way your breath hitches and you harshly swallow was enough to set off the rage in him “Did he do something to you?” you can see his temper rising while trying to stay calm for you “Did he hurt you Y/N?”.

The panic sets in as you see his anger grow “I swear to god Y/N, if he laid a single finger on you”. You instinctively put your hand to his cheek to ground him “Jay he hasn’t touched me” you reassure, wording it carefully to not say ‘he hasn’t hurt me’ as after what you’ve just seen that would take a certain person to not be hurt. He relaxes ever so slightly under your touch and confession but he was still rigid, the frustration running through his body as he tries to scan your face for answers but you’re giving him nothing. 

“Can we just forget him?” you try to push past it, moving your hand down his chest and fiddling with one of the buttons “Or do you not want me?” the crack in your voice kills him, there shouldnt be a shadow of doubt in your mind about how bad he wants you, he’s needed you for so long that he should be taking you to be his right now but there was something stopping him.

“Of course I want you Y/N, are you kidding?” he grips at your waist to further cement his words “I want you so fucking bad that you’re all I can think about” he groans as you pull him closer to you by his shirt collar and just as your lips are about to meet you hear that all too familiar voice call out for you from inside the party. Your head snaps round so fast you’re surpsied you didn’t pull a muscle and the grip on Jay’s collar tells him you dont want to see Mike. 

He switches the position so he was closest to the door, his body shielding you as you cower behind him as he was the only one he could trust to protect you and be the one between you and Mike. 

Mike spots you through the door, clutching onto Jays shirt like your life depended on it but not in a way through fear. You weren’t scared of him as you knew nothing would happen to you as long as Jay was there but it was through a nervousness as you just wanted to forget the situation ever happened and just cut ties but he clearly wasn’t feeling the same way. He points his finger to you as he storms through the open doors, cursing yourself for having left them open as he may not have though to look out if they were closed. 

“Turn around and head back inside” Jay warns, keeping one hand behind his back and ensuring you stayed there “Get away from my girlfriend buddy” Mike scoffs which amuses Jay as he smirks “Sorry that’s my fault for not being clear. Turn around. Head home and stay the fuck away from her”.

You step around Jay but he still keeps an arm on you which you’re more that grateful for “Was she good?” you ask, confidence rising knowing he could no longer bilittle you how he pleased “What?” he questions and you roll your eyes “How was she? Tight enough for you?” you notice Jay straighten up beside you, clearly realizing what’s happened and increasing his anger and determination to end the man standing in front of him.

You place a hand to Jay’s upper arm and squeeze lightly in reassurance. “Go home, I’ll send for my stuff” you scorn but Mike doesn’t move “I don’t know if you heard her but she said go home” Jay takes a step towards him and as much as you trust Jay and know how he acts, this is the first time you’ve questioned if he will be able to stop himself. “You really don’t want me to tell you again” Jay threatens, Mike matches Jay’s step and closes the gap between them when you interject and stand between the pair with a hand on each of their chests.

Looking up to see the fear in Mike’s eyes but the anger and darkness behind Jay’s “Go. Home” you instruct to Mike who pauses for a second to look down at you and then back up to Jay “You’re lucky she’s here otherwise you wouldn’t live to see another day” Jay smirks, putting an emphasis on every word he spits out at Mike. 

The three of you stand in silence, watching as Mike and Jay stare at each other was laughable. Mike didn’t stand a single chance again Jay on a normal day let alone now, he was full of rage and needed an outlet so you feel a sigh of relief when Mike takes a step back and turns to head back inside “If I hear you’ve even breathed near her. I promise it will be the last breath you ever take” Jay calls out to him, his lips puling in an evil smile to which you hit him on the chest. His expression soon changes when he looks down at you and you feel your heart skip a beat, the vengeance in his eyes that told you the inner battle to control himself was getting impossible to ignore. 

“I’m sorry” he blurts out, the least of what you were expecting him to say, the softness as he reaches to tuck a piece of hair behind your ear and continuing to trace your jawline with his fingertips. You loop your arms around his neck, leaving one to pull him closer to you as his arms find their way back to your hips with an urgency “I don’t want your sorry” you comment, his thumb runs along your bottom lip as he lightly tugs on the corner at the roughness of his skin “I want you”. 

He didn’t need telling twice, his grip on your waist pulled you onto him. Your legs wrapping round his waist as he steaded you against the wall, rocking his hips into yours as his lips made their way along your collarbone to lightly nip at the skin causing you to yelp “I’m going to show you how you deserve to be treated” he moaned into the crook of your neck with another light blow to the now damp skin from his lips “and we both know, it will be only me that can show you that”.

**

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[imagining-in-the-margins]

The Birds & The Bees (S.R. | Pt. 8)

Summary: Spencer and Bunny have their first fight, and Candy’s confrontation couldn’t have come at a worse time. Couple: Spencer Reid/Fem!Reader Category: Slow Burn (NSFW, 18+) Content Warning: Arguing, implied/inferred slut-shaming Word Count: 6.2k

MASTERLIST | Series Masterlist

—————————————————

When I was a child, I found myself alone quite often. My mind made it both exceptionally easy and impossible to be alone. Despite it being far below my reading level, I often clutched tightly to Geisel’s tale of how being alone would get you places if you can make it through the blue, barren landscape of the Slump.

As I’ve grown older, however, I realized that being alone was just as often a defense mechanism as it was a unique form of self-sabotage. Because truth be told, no matter how terribly I was treated when I offered someone a piece of my heart, I didn’t want to be alone.

I met Bunny at a strange time. I’d only recently gotten used to being alone again. For the first time, I thought that it might be possible to be happy like that. Surviving through weekly meetings with old friends and removing myself from the vileness and gore of my old day job.

Penelope and Derek were quick to notice that I didn’t need them around as often since I’d met her. I think they were equal parts enthused and concerned. I understood their apprehension; truthfully, the girl terrified me, as well.

But there was something different that day. A strange aura in the brightly colored apartment of Penelope Garcia. A place where badness rarely belonged.

I knew that it was coming the second that I walked in, but I had the decency and self-preservation to ignore the way she was clearly hyping herself up for a confession. After all, I had no secrets from the two people in the room with me. They knew everything about my life.

Enough to recreate it and predict what might happen given the opportunity. Enough to exploit. Enough to inflict maximum damage.

“Okay, so... don’t get mad,” were the words that signaled that very same idea.

I turned to Penelope, who refused to look me in the eyes. The warning signals in my mind began blaring, and I realized that there were few things in the world that would make her this nervous.

My mind immediately went to the young girl I’d taken under my wing, and my heart began to pound hard enough that I was afraid it would cease its nonsense altogether.

“What did you do?”

“Nothing, really. Nothing big.”

I didn’t believe her. While she could only maintain eye contact for a few seconds, I remained locked on to her eyes. I could feel Derek doing the same to me, but I wasn’t willing to budge. He was making her tell me for a reason, and I wanted to know that, as well.

“I just— Morgan and I thought it would be interesting to see if we could find other people like you. Local people,” she explained in the vaguest possible terms.

Narrowed eyes remained but switched from a building fury to a perplexed frustration.

“Why?”

“It doesn’t matter. The thing is, we…” she paused. She turned back to Derek like he was her parent, imploring her to finish her apology to the kid whose pigtails she’d pulled. Eventually, she worked up the courage to finish the sentence with an awkward, bitter laugh, “We might have made you a dating profile.”

“You what?!”

“We were going to delete it but... we...”

“You what?” I repeated, quieter but filled with the same level of rage.

“We… forgot...?”

I hated that word. I hated it even more than usual as of late. I hated it even more than usual under the current circumstances.

Perhaps I was overthinking it. In fact, I knew I was. I knew both of the people sitting in front of me, and I knew that they both genuinely wanted what was best for me. But in that moment, I was too angry to remind myself that they wouldn’t use me for their own entertainment. They weren’t bad like me. They valued people too much to do something so selfish.

“Are you serious?” I asked, already jumping from my seat and snatching the laptop off of her lap, “Where is it?”

Derek followed quickly behind my movements, moving to prevent me from doing what he knew I was going to do.

“I pulled it up just now and you can delete it if you want but—” Penelope interrupted, only to be cut off by my own scratchy shout, “Of course I’m going to delete it, Garcia!”

Derek’s voice broke through our little spat, clear and cool and confident as ever.

“Kid, look at the messages first.”

Begrudgingly, and filled with morbid curiosity, I did. I saw the red icon that indicated a recent unopened message, and I hovered the mouse over it with shaky fingers against the trackpad. I took in exactly one deep breath before I clicked it and the world fell to pieces around me.

There was my Bunny, staring back at me with a smile too pure to be on a place like this.

I’d known that she had a dating profile; the other female students had made sure that I knew about the contents of her profile. But there was something so deeply unsettling about spotting here there. It felt like the moment before a disaster, when you wished you could rewind the clock and do it all differently.

I didn’t click the message. I didn’t want to know what it said.

It was either a reminder of what could have been, or a temptation I couldn’t indulge in.

The second that the screen returned to the settings, Derek tried to stop me again.

“Aren’t you going to...”

A voice of reason, always irritating and always right. I probably should have read the message, but I didn’t want to admit that I’d made a mistake. Lord knew I would only make it worse by knowing.

“No,” I said before clicking the button harder than necessary, but still feeling unsatisfied by the sound. I slammed the laptop shut like that might help. I still felt empty, though.

I gathered my things quickly, and the other two felt what I’d hoped was guilt rather than frustration. They tried to stop me with pitiful stares and silence.

“Goodbye,” I said before bolting towards the door.  

She called my name one last time, but the handle clicked into place and took all of my resolve with it.

I’d already made up my mind, and my mind was a dangerous thing to dare.

—————————————————

There were many words that came to mind when I thought of Spencer. If I’d been tasked to find a page in the dictionary where I couldn’t tie a thought back to him, I’d bet against myself. There was just something about him that consumed my thoughts and drowned me in the mystery.

Spencer always seemed so contradictory; so ready to give up but so hopeful to hold on. So lonely, but loath to let anyone near. But still, when I thought of him, the world seemed brighter in spite of the shadow following him. I always saw his smile before his frown.

Even after everything that had happened — and of course, by everything I meant the kiss and the heartbreak that came with it — I saw something worthwhile in the way he looked at me. Something that he’d tried to discount, but only solidified further. That is all to say that usually, when I saw Spencer, I would feel a number of overwhelmingly positive emotions.

But not that day. I was sitting on the bench in his hall, trying to focus on anything other than the mess we’d made when I saw him in my peripherals. Like an animal aware of an oncoming storm, my hair stood on edge and my heart began to race. The closer he came, the more obvious it was to me that I wouldn’t be able to ignore him.

I turned to him slowly, but he barely stopped, and certainly didn’t look me in the eyes when he curtly stated through a barely unclenched jaw, “I need to talk to you.”

“S-Sure, give me a second and I—“

There was no pause, no empathy nor understanding when he ended the thought before it came to fruition.

“Come to my office. Now.”

It was not a request between equals. It was an order.

Dread set through my veins like it often did in the nightmares. The moment when the thing that had been chasing you found a way through the backdoor. That last moment before disaster when you wonder how different life could have been with one slightly off beat of a butterfly’s wings.

I followed him for a couple of reasons, none of them good. All of them filled with regret. I heard the click of his door shutting followed by the first silence I’d ever experienced with him that felt harrowing.

“What’s wrong?” I asked. The look he gave me in response told me that he honestly thought I should know. I had a few theories, but none of them included what he’d said next.

“Do you want to explain to me why you thought it was appropriate to message me on a dating site?”

I wished I could say that the world came to a record-scratch stop, but it didn’t. It was more like a steady building of the Earth’s vibrations before it splits in two. I knew then that this time the earthquake that broke open beneath my feet wouldn’t welcome me to a throne, unless I also was adorned with a crown of thorns.

Because the God of the realm wasn’t ready to catch me when I fell this time. If anything, we stood at the edge of the abyss he was ready to throw me down in.

What was I meant to say in the face of that horror? When my only options were to be honest, to admit that I hadn’t the slightest clue why he was upset, or to grovel at the feet of a man who was making no sense?

“What?”

He barely acknowledged the sound, if he’d even heard the breathy utterance. It paled in comparison to the harsh, loud sound of his voice.

“Do you have any idea how much trouble you could get in if people found out?”

I was so lost. I couldn’t follow the mixed signals that all led to the same dead end.

“I-I’m sorry, Professor, I just—“

“Do you know how poorly this would reflect, not only on you, but also on me? If I’d known you would act like this, I would have never—“ he cut me off again, and this time I returned the favor.

“You would have never what?”

My blood boiled at the implication. The fact he would dare imply that he wasn’t the one who’d pulled me into the closet and begged me to stop him. As if he hadn’t held me with a similar yearning several times since.

How dare he pretend that he was the one who got to be angry. To feel used and tossed aside.

Bile rose in my throat, bitter and burning the longer I tried to keep it inside. Even then, as he reprimanded me for his own insecurity, I was still worried about sparing his feelings.

But it was so clear from the reddened skin of his neck and the vein protruding from his forehead that my comfort was of little concern to him and his pathetic, childish pride.

“Say it,” I tried to order, but the sound was too weak and easily pushed aside in favor of his continued chastisement.

“It’s bad enough that you’re going out on dates with students from our class, but this is just ridiculous. You can’t give people the ammunition they want, they will destroy your life!”

Tears were pooling in my lashes, and I hated that most of all. I hated that I couldn’t even control my own body, much less anything else happening in the small room. My everything was burning then, trying to find any hope to cling to so I wouldn’t have to accept that I had gotten him all wrong.

But then he spoke again, and I broke.

“How could you be so—so reckless and stupid and—!”

“If you want to call me a whore, Professor, then just say it!”

My voice fractured with the remnants of my heart, and after the briefest of pauses in honor of the first time I’d shouted in nearly a decade, Spencer continued like he’d been waiting for it all along.

“What are you even doing with that... that stupid, low life piece of shit?!”

Was that how he thought of me? Was this the truth behind the copper wall of his eyes?

Could it really be that he was this furious, not because he felt some entitlement to my heart, but because I had shattered the bullshit idyllic perception that he’d so clearly thrust upon me?

Was that really all it was? A betrayal of an image I had never asked for nor condoned?

“Do you expect me to just ignore it? He’s an asshole!”

“Y-Yeah, well, at least he actually cares about what I have to say!” I blubbered back, wondering if he’d even noticed the tears in my eyes through the haze of misguided anger. He didn’t seem like he did; or at least, he didn’t care if he had.

“What are you talking about? No, he doesn’t!”

What was I meant to argue? He knew so much more about cruelty than I did. He’d held the hammer himself.

He knew it, too. That was the only explanation for his confidence when he shouted, “He’s the same as every other man!”

“How would you know?!” I challenged, wishing more than anything that he would at least fess up to his own transgressions.

But he didn’t. Of course, he didn’t. He just continued to project the blame in as many directions as he could, trying to justify his attraction to a girl that he clearly thought worthy of condemnation.

“Because I’ve heard the disgusting things that he says about you when you’re not around!” he said, and I heard the truth behind the words.

It was never about my going on a date with a student. It wasn’t about my having a dating profile, nor the fact that I’d contacted him on it.

Spencer was just angry, exhausted, and scared. He’d felt something against his will the same way I had. But instead of admitting that the human heart is capable of error, he blamed me instead. He hated me because there was no more room left to hate himself.

It wasn’t about me.

It had never been about me.

“It’s not disgusting to be attracted to me, Professor.”

I dared him to challenge me, but he didn’t. His frantic breathing slowed, and I saw my first opportunity to defend myself. But I was already so drained from bearing the brunt of his wrath that when I did speak, no one would have believed me.

“A-And I don’t trust you to know what it’s like to care about me.”

Spencer was no exception.

“Of course I care about you,” he sighed, and I wanted to believe him despite all evidence to the contrary.

But then he went and ruined it again. He couldn’t let my heart be without breaking. He wanted me to be like him, lost and angry and willing to accept defeat and give into the misery.

“You’re being ridiculous,” he said.

As tired as I was, I didn’t want him to win. I wanted him to understand that between the two of us, he was the one who was sabotaging things. It wasn’t my fault that he’d clearly regretted every step taken both to bring me closer and push me away. I wasn’t some toy to be tossed into the chest when he got bored. I didn’t exist to entertain him or make him feel any way at all.

I just wanted to be his friend. Yeah, I wanted more, too, but he told me that he didn’t.

I’d respected his wishes, and all I got in return was disrespect. Like I’d gone off his imagined script of the perfect, pure puppet perched on the pedestal — the throne he’d placed me on without even asking me how I felt.

And I realized then what broke my heart most of all.  

“You didn’t even read my messages!” I shouted, and I watched as a layer of confusion fell over the anger, “If you’d read my messages, you would have seen that I only sent them because I thought the account was fake!”

Spencer opened his mouth to defend his decision, but he’d already said enough. It was my turn to talk, and I was going to make sure that he listened.  

“I-I thought it was a practical joke, and I was angry that someone was mocking a man I looked up to, and I respect you too much to stand idly by.”

That time when his breathing became hurried, it seemed more scared than scornful. His eyes that had been dilated and wide remained so but began to fill with a remorse so powerful that I swore it was palpable.

Spencer reached a hand out to touch me, but my body moved away from him on instinct.

“But it’s very clear to me that the feeling is not mutual. So, thank you, Professor, for the dating advice, but I’d like to leave now.”

Everything about me bristled, and my defensive stance must have alerted him of what was about to happen, because before I even took a step, he stepped in front of me. His hand splayed across the door was both a figurative and literal attempt to keep me in his control.

As was his voice, broken and shy as he whispered, “Wait.”

But I was too angry. Or at least, it felt like anger, even though it was something else.

I was hurt, humiliated, and heartbroken… but I wasn’t angry like I wished I could’ve been. I knew that if I looked him in the eyes, I would have fallen into shambles again. I would have let his honeyed words work their way through the cracks he’d created and convince myself that he had only meant to help.

“Let me out, Professor,” I begged.  

When he started to speak, I shut my eyes tight enough that I saw the stars and streetlights of the first time he’d looked at me like I could actually mean something to him. I saw the rain following over his skin and dripping from the passenger side window of his car.

I felt his hand drift down my shoulder so gently that it made me weep.

“I’m sorry,” he pleaded, “I didn’t know.”

“Yeah, I figured,” I answered before tearing away from his hand before it had a chance to trick me into forgetting how easily he’d given up on me. I threw the door open and finally turned to look at him.

His face had returned to the soft, scared little boy I’d come to know, and it made me sick. I hoped that he would be enough to make up for the hate that was threatening to consume his home built of susceptible flesh and bone.

I looked him in his eyes and hoped that he understood why I couldn’t forgive him this time.

“Hard to care about a whore, right?” I said instead.

Spencer looked away, but I swore that I saw him flinch just before the door slammed shut.

—————————————————

It wasn’t an uncommon thing for her to inhabit my mind at any particular moment. It also wasn’t strange for her presence in my innermost thoughts to be accompanied by horrible feelings of guilt and dread.

They had never been more overwhelming than they were that week. I felt like a stranger in my own home, so I almost never found myself there. Instead, I’d wander the faculty floors and inadvertently ignore colleagues calling my name.

They weren’t the voice that I wanted to hear. She didn’t want to talk to me. I didn’t blame her, either. I honestly wouldn’t have blamed her if she never wanted to speak to me again. Each morning when I’d unlocked my office and flipped on the light, I half expected to find her resignation papers on my desk.

That was also why I was currently pacing; in the hope that I might return to find her waiting at my door. I just wanted to see her. Maybe then I could own up to my mistakes and apologize to her the way she deserved. I’d considered sending a text or trying to call, but she seemed worth so much more.  

I was walking the same route I always did through the halls, looking for her in every young woman’s face or the echoing sounds of laughter. It’d been so long since I heard her laugh. It hadn’t even been for me when I had heard it.

But when I did finally hear her, there was nothing resembling joy in her tone.

“I was hoping that we could talk about it,” she mumbled, her voice drifting out from the cracked open door. I wondered if it was physics, fate, or psychology that was responsible for her sound always carrying to my ears. “I’m afraid I might have not explained it well, or maybe made a mistake in the structuring of it, but…”

I’d been so excited to hear her voice, as sad as it might have been, that I didn’t even realize whose office I’d been standing in front of until she talked, too, cold and bitter and only slightly unlike the woman I knew.

“It’s completely unacceptable,” Candy scoffed, “Your conclusion comes out of the left field and none of your theories hold any water.”

“Oh. I-I’m sorry,” Bunny answered, and from my position in the hall I could see the way her legs shifted back and forth before crossing, “I’m just a little confused.”

“Confused about what? Have you even read what you turned in?”

“Yes, after I wrote it.”

“Then you know.”

There was an uncomfortable pause, and I hadn’t even realized that my lungs had ceased function until a broken, stuttered burst of carbon dioxide escaped. Even that did nothing for the pressure building in my chest.

“It’s just that Dr. Reid—” she’d tried to start, but the other woman only laughed. A cruel, bitter sound that was best reserved for children too young to understand the complexity behind the condescension.  

“Dr. Reid what? Did he give you a gold star for a job well done? Did he tell you that you’re doing a super job?”

I’d only recently become acquainted with the full force of my Bunny’s rage, but I felt it then. It was unmistakable and potent. Practiced in a way that felt different from before when she wielded it with me.

“No, he tore the paper to shreds and I fixed the mistakes he found!” she nearly shouted to be heard over the laughter, “He checked it himself!”

All of the noises stopped, and for the briefest moment, I almost ended the whole scene. I only would have needed to announce my presence; to make it clear that I heard what was happening.

But I couldn’t move. I was trapped in one of my worst nightmares, watching how my existence had already tainted a young woman’s life.

“Oh, honey. You really don’t see it, do you?” Candy sighed, a genuine concern laced beneath something vile, “Of course he’s not going to hurt your feelings.”

Bunny’s tone changed, too, becoming cautious and angrier in its quieter sound. A gentle violence and a low tremble in her timbre.

“... What are you implying?”

“I just find it strange that he would clear this paper without a great amount of convincing.”

My heart had already shattered into pieces that now laced my airway, choking the sound of my voice that tried to protest the implication. I wanted nothing more than to explain that I hadn’t done anything to help her. Everything she’d accomplished was done in spite of me, and not as a response to some twisted sexual bartering.

I finally managed to make my foot move, but then she did, too. In a wild fury, she stood from her seat with balled fists that shook beneath the weight of her words.

“If you want to accuse Dr. Reid of impropriety then say that outright. I’m not playing a game with a man’s livelihood. He’s been nothing but respectful to me and quite frankly I—!”

She defended me. I could hardly believe the words, and my mind rioted against the reality. I expected the darkness to come closing in again, revealing this as nothing more than a convoluted dream where she still found me worthy of her kindness.

“I would like to leave,” she announced as calmly as she could.

I peeked through the crack, then, spotting the blonde woman who also stood to match her height. As my Bunny gathered her things, Candy stepped out from behind the desk and blocked my view of the younger girl.  

“He might let you get away with speaking like that, but I won’t,” she sneered, “Do you think you’re the first girl to make this mistake? You’re not.”

Standing her ground, the small flower remained adamant and serious in her intentions.

“Get out of my way,” she ordered, but Candy did not listen.

That didn’t stop her. (Y/n) stepped to the side, and I only barely stepped away in time so that she wouldn’t see me. I could barely hear them over the sound of my pulse beating wildly, but the sound of a shocked gasp struck an undoubtable fear in my heart.

Candy still blocked the door. She was standing just a few feet away from me, so even though she issued her final warning with sharp, hushed words, I heard them all.

“You think you’re grown, but you’re not. Men might be excited by your novelty for a little while, but they will chew you up and spit you out,” she spat, “They will get bored with you!”

There was truth to her words. An undeniable, reliable set of facts to back up her claims. I’d seen it a million times over, that girls like her are used and tossed aside. I’d seen the way men had broken them apart and left their pieces scattered both figuratively and literally.

Candy was not wrong, and the lesson was likely a necessary one for her to learn, as Candy had learned when she was her age. A rite of passage thrust onto young girls by a cruel, disgusting society.

But hidden among the set of truths, buried beneath them and only by implication, was a lie.

I wouldn’t do that to her. I wouldn’t let that happen to her.

Splaying my hand over the already open door, I pushed just hard enough that it caused the woman to stagger forward and out of the way of Bunny trying to escape. The only problem was, I still stood in her way.

That was intentional, too, and I felt terribly guilty for it.

“You said you wanted to meet with me,” I curtly explained to my now shocked coworker.

“Dr. Reid, I-I’m so sorry I completely forgot about our meeting. Did I say today?”

“Yes, you did.”

The second I glanced over at (y/n), her eyes locked with mine. I spotted the redness around her eyes that had already cried more than enough. The sight was damn near enough to kill me, but my heart persisted through the wreckage.

“Well, I trust your memory more than mine,” Candy nervously chuckled before saying the words I’d been waiting to hear, “(Y/n), could you excuse yourself?”

She wasted no time.

“Yes, ma’am,” she mumbled.

Apparently deciding that it was worth touching me if it meant she got to leave, Bunny forced her way between myself and the door. I hated the way it still made my heart race, even though the disgust was obvious in the way she tried to shrink away from me.

I wanted to wrap my arms around her, to stop her and thank her for standing up for me when she had absolutely no reason to. I wanted to tell her that I was sorry, and that she deserved so much better than me. That she should be proud of herself, and that I was wrong to think her incapable of anything.

I wanted to hold her in the hope that some of that goodness might rub off on me.

But I’d already taken enough from her for a lifetime, so I let her go.

—————————————————

The first time I stood outside Professor Reid’s office, I had somehow felt less nervous than I did in that moment. I really shouldn’t have been as scared as I was, considering how our last two conversations had ended.

Truthfully, I knew that he regretted the way he behaved. I had seen it in his eyes the moment the blind rage faded, and I heard it in his voice when he begged me to stay.

But knowing that only brought so much relief, and it certainly did nothing for the future. I simply cared about him too much to allow myself to set a precedent where the only apologies I received were inferred by his behavior. I wasn’t a profiler; I didn’t ever want to risk getting it wrong.

I just had to say it. I had to tell him how I felt.

God, it was so hard. The door felt so heavy, and his eyes felt even worse. They widened to a point it was almost comical, and his jaw dropped like he had seen a ghost in his doorway instead of me.

“Bunny,” he mumbled in disbelief, “Hey.”

And immediately, I crumbled. His voice cracked and took my resolve tumbling down with it. My hands that had been shaking seemed too tired to do even that, barely able to hold up the stack of papers I’d brought in to force myself to do something.

“I just came to drop off my assignment.”

“Yeah, sure,” he said, standing from his seat and reaching a hand out to me on instinct. After a few seconds of my blank stare, it faltered. He looked down at an outstretched palm and I think we both wondered then, when he had become the person seeking to brush his fingers against another.

I took a cautious step forward, hoping that he would know how to navigate this dance better than I did. But judging from the way that he stepped back in response to my approach, I think he had been equally lost.

The awkwardness was the most painful part of it all. I knew, or at least hoped, that Spencer was blaming himself as much as I was blaming him.

It would have been so easy for one of us to cave, to pretend like nothing was different and continuing about our days as we did before. Keeping that moment locked away, only to be brought back when we needed to prove a point.

“Thanks,” he muttered when I dropped the papers on his desk rather than handing them to him.

I could have left. I could have trained myself to be accustomed to trusting him a little bit less. We would naturally find a new rhythm, albeit one that lacked the kind of care we’d had before. He would eventually say something, and I would forget that I wasn’t meant to laugh.

We would be okay again, eventually, even if things wouldn’t be the same. Part of me warned that things wouldn’t have been the same even if I did say something. That we were broken, irreparably scarred by one outburst on one bad day.

But… I wasn’t ready to accept that failure. Not yet.

Spinning on my heels and coming to a stop in front of his door, I turned back just in time to see him sitting back down. It was his own way of accepting defeat. He didn’t allow himself to chase after me a second time.

“Actually, that’s not the only reason I came,” I announced, “I-I have something to say to you. And I expect you to listen.”

I couldn’t classify the twitch of Spencer’s lip appropriately, but I did desperately want to hear the truth behind it. It had been a strange concoction of pride, fear, and humor. A nervous and nosy, quiet quirk.

“Okay,” he conceded immediately.  

“You... You really hurt my feelings earlier.”

Any sign of entertainment faded. Spencer’s jaw steeled shut, and his eyes only averted for a few seconds before he forced them to meet mine again. It was almost like he was trying to convince himself he must bear witness to my confession.

His presence had such an oxymoronic effect. I was both comforted by his attention and terrified of his scrutiny. My voice continued, but it was weaker than I would have liked.

“I don’t know why you acted like that. I don’t know if y-you were just having a bad day, or you’re jealous, or... something else. But it wasn’t right to treat me like that.”

“I—” he tried to cut in, but I spoke over him in a way that felt a little too good.

“I know from where you’re sitting, I probably look like a stupid little girl sometimes. But I’m not.”

I grew more confident the longer he stayed quiet, and there was something unlike tears forming in his eyes. My chest was tired from full, heavy breaths, but the weight lifted with each word was well worth the temporary discomfort.

“You were the one who told me that I should start viewing myself as a woman,” I observed with an apropos finger pointed firmly in his direction, “S-So... I expect you to treat me like one, too!”

I quickly lowered my finger upon realizing that the motion betrayed the words. In a similar vein, I unpuffed my cheeks with a deep breath out and tried to steady my feet.

Spencer finally looked away, his eyes drifting over to the seat I used to inhabit basically any hour the university was open. He smiled fondly at it, as if he were replaying a memory in his head.

I couldn’t tell if I was still upset with him or if I simply missed his eyes on me rather than a fantasy of the past. I didn’t want to lose his attention just yet, so I once again broke the austerity I was meant to display and asked him the silliest possible rendition of the question I’d sought an answer to.

“You got that, mister?” I mumbled, barely able to keep a straight face through the sentence.

A small burst of air resembling a laugh left him, and surely enough, he returned to me with an undeniable adoration. The usual look that made my knees weak and my heart flutter like hummingbird wings.

“I understand,” he said through a solemn smile, “You’re right. I’m sorry.”

The atmosphere didn’t shift back to our old norm just yet, but there was an undercurrent forming. I felt the sands that had been torn from the beach returning little by little. Sure, it would bring with it new particles and problems, but it wouldn’t be bare.

We could build something new from the sediment, and no one ever said it couldn’t be just as beautiful as it would have been before. Like the wild prickly, things could be sweeter after difficulty. My stubbornness could be rewarded just this once.

“Thank you for listening,” I replied, barely resisting the urge to curtsy in response. I think he saw it on my face, too, because Spencer almost started to laugh. Almost felt nice enough for now.

I paid the clock on the wall an unfortunate visit, and I’d hoped that the timing wouldn’t stall the return to normal.  

“I have class now, though, so…” I said while awkwardly inching towards the door, “Bye, Professor.”

Before I could turn the handle to his door, I was stopped by the sound of the name he knew me by.

“Bunny?” he called.

I turned to face him fully, with no anger or papers to hide behind. My hands hung by my side, and there was nothing defensive left in my stance. I was just a girl (or rather, woman) standing before him without fear or hesitation.

“Yes Professor?” I replied after a moment of what appeared to be a second stunned silence. As if he hadn’t expected me to answer to the name.

Spencer struggled for a few moments longer, his jaw moving but the air leaving his lungs remaining silent. His eyes traced my outline like the answer could be found somewhere on my person. And in a way, I think it had been.

“I’m very proud of you,” he said in a soft, genuine tone I’d desperately missed, “Just in case I haven’t told you that enough.”

“Thanks, Professor,” I chuckled just before the door shut and left us both a little bit sadder from the loss of one another, “I’m proud of me, too.”

——————————————————

| Part Nine |

#spencer reid #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid smut #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid slow burn #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x you #criminal minds fanfiction #criminal minds smut #spencer reid series #spencer reid self insert #tbatb #tb&tb

[annabethy]

skyscrapers dancing in the night

in which percy loves the sound of the night, but he loves annabeth even more,, percabeth

There’s something about nights in the city that Percy has grown to love.

It’s the whistle of the wind in the midst of a stormy night, and the slight creaking and groaning of the building as they shift upon the pillars. It used to scare Percy when he was little, and it took a lot to get over the fear that the building would come crumbling down.  It helped that his girlfriend was an architect, beautiful and brilliant when she’s doing something she loves. She makes the mundane feel otherworldly, and so there’s no missing when she first explains the reason skyscrapers dance in the night.

Percy remembers everything about it. Her eyes had lit up while she spoke. She had spoken fast, her words not enough to keep up with the excitement she felt. She used her hands a lot, too, and it had been so endearing, and—

His point is that he really likes the city now. He loves everything about it. Even the things that he hates.​ It reminds him that after everything they’ve been through, even at the young age of sixteen, there are worse places to be. If there’s anything better than being able to listen to the howling and chatter around him as he drifts off to sleep, safe and alive, he couldn’t think of it.

Not until now, anyway.

There is one thing better than nights in the city where he is reminded that he is still here. It’s having the person who helped him through it all right beside him.

Annabeth lays on top of him now, and he suspects that she’s nearly asleep. It’s innocent enough, the two of them just settled onto his mom’s couch beneath a few layers of blankets. It’s Annabeth’s doing, of course—she always prefers being covered in blankets—but Percy isn’t going to argue with that if it means she’s going to cuddle him like she is right now.

The windows of the apartment are open to their left, and wind blows in there, too. It’s the middle of summer, but being higher up ensures a bit of wind, and it tousles her hair the slightest bit, which he smooths down as gently as he can without risking waking her up.

Percy isn’t even sure what time it is. Sometime after midnight, he would guess, but they’d been watching movies the entire day, so time is nothing more than a word at that moment.

He’s in love with this, he thinks, being able to hold her in his arms while she sleeps. He debates waking her, but he doesn’t want to disturb the cinematic moment, so he lets her sleep a little bit longer before the guilt of letting her sleep on the couch takes over. He lets his fingers trace over her hair then, twisted into a braid by him earlier that day, while his thumb brushes over her cheek until she begins to stir.

“Hey, princess,” Percy says quietly, his palm cupping her cheek now. He catches the subtle twitch of her lips while she extends an arm in a stretch, eyes still closed. “Sleepy?”

Her eyes blink open now, and god, he’s so in love with her and the sleepy smile she gives before she nuzzles her face into his stomach. “Mh-hm.”

“Why don’t you go to bed?”

Annabeth doesn’t answer that, and he knows why. They’ve never actually shared a bed before; at least not on their own terms. Sure, they had slept by one another when they were younger, on one of their quests, but never under the same conditions they are in now.

“I can stay here,” he offers softly, looking at her in awe when she leans back into his palm. “You can take the bed.”

“Don’t be ridiculous.”

“I’m perfectly fine here,” he promises.

“I know that, but...I want you with me.”

And that makes Percy nervous.

He genuinely does just want to be able to sleep in a proper bed with her and hold her in his arms as he pleases. It’s nothing more than that, at least not for right now, but it’s still a new level of intimacy for the two of them. They’ve been through so much, but this is also new, so he figures he’s perfectly justified in being at least a little bit nervous.

Annabeth slides off of his lap to stand in front of him and offer him a hand. When he looks her in the eyes, he sees everything that she means to him. He sees comfort, a best friend, and a home.

“Come on. Take my hand.”

It takes him back to when he’d seen her above him after bathing in the River Styx. His tie to the mortal world.

He takes her hand.

Together, they go back to his room. She swings their conjoined hands between them, lifting onto her toes to ask for a kiss, which he obliges with. He almost forgets how nervous he is until she’s sitting on the edge of the bed waiting for him. He follows her move, pulling the comforter back so he can lay on his back, opening his arms moments later for her to crawl into. She settles in his arms again, resting her head over his heart, and he is lost to his thoughts.

“What are you thinking about?” Annabeth asks quietly, breaking the silence.

His hand is rubbing along her back while he thinks. “I’m not sure.”

“How much you love me?” she teases.

Percy laughs. “How’d you know?”

“I know you.”

“Better than anyone,” he agrees. “I don’t know. I’m just thinking about how much I love this.”

“Us?”

“Being here, together. I never thought I’d live to see this day, and now...I mean. I’m dating my best friend. It doesn’t get much better than this. I feel like I’m going to wake up and be back to where we were a year ago.”

Annabeth coos and her fingers trace shapes on his arm. “You don’t need to worry about waking up and everything disappearing. I’m here to stay.”

“I know,” he breathes. “I’m just nervous.”

“I can tell,” she jokes, pressing a hand over his heart. “This is just one of many nights spent together.”

“I look forward to it.”

They fall back into a silence for a few minutes before Percy decides he wants to tell her something.

“You know. When I was little, I used to be terrified of sleeping in buildings like these. They were so high up, and then they’d move whenever there was a storm. Do you know why I’m not scared anymore?”

“Why?”

“You told me that they made buildings like that. You were so excited to tell me about it, and I couldn’t possibly be scared of a skyscraper when it was something you loved so much. It seems silly, but it’s true.”

“It’s not silly,” she reassures. “I get it.”

“Every time I see a big building in New York, I think of you. It makes me feel safe. Ever since that day, I’ve loved listening to the sounds outside at night. I’d hear the shifting of the building, and I’d hear your voice.”

Annabeth smothers a smile into the skin of his arm.

“I used to think it couldn’t get better than that.”

“Does it get better?”

“It does when I’m here with you.”

He doesn’t say anything else after that, and neither does she. She just presses a soft kiss to his lips before snuggling into his side for the night. She drifts off to sleep at some point after that, but Percy is still awake as the stars above.

New York City, the place he has grown to love. It holds so many memories filled with fear, trouble, friendship, and love. It’s a beautiful song, and it only gets better when he has Annabeth Chase by his side.

And so Percy pulls Annabeth close and listens to the sounds of skyscrapers dancing in the night.

#percabeth #percy jackson #annabeth chase #percy jackson and the olympians #pjo #my writing

[btsmosphere]

Lost in a Book | JHS

~summary: you and Jung Hoseok don’t exactly see eye to eye. but when you (literally) fall headfirst into a whole other world, that becomes the least of your worries ~pairing: hoseok x reader ~word count: 8.5k ~enemies to lovers, college au, fantasy au ~rating: g ~warnings: naughty freudian slip, sexual tension, arguing, fire

~a/n: this is my gift for the wonderful @moccahobi‘s birthday! I am so lucky to be friends with someone as funny, hard working and gorgeous as you and I hope you have a great day!! and no, of course I didn’t choose the biggest bingo square only to forget and write this in a week.. (okay, I did, so pls go easy on any errors!) as always the lovely admins at @thebtswritersclub came up with a fun challenge to prompt this story, so I will be including my makeup palette bingo square at the end so you can see what prompts I used for this! enjoy x

The moment you had seen Jung Hoseok coming through the door, your eyes rolled.

Almost entirely made of large windows, the front of the coffee shop you worked in allowed you to see all the passers-by. So when you spotted your classmate coming down the street, laughing loudly with a couple of friends, you had prayed that he would just pass by.

Of course, you could never get what you wished for.

“Yoongi-“ you tried in vain to capture your friend’s attention, but too late. Yoongi hadn’t even looked around from where he was scrubbing coffee cups when a familiar voice reached your ears, making you groan internally.

“Y/N! Hard day at work? You look frazzled.”

“To what do I owe the pleasure?” you drawled, resigning yourself to serving him.

He simply leaned on the counter, sagging with laughter.

“Always service with a smile with you, isn’t it?”

“I’m sure you’d be just as tired if you even tried to focus in class,” you fired back.

His grin didn’t even falter. But at last, he dropped his teasing. With a scoff he ordered a tea and turned around, scrolling on his phone with his back to you as you got to work.

It seemed you had grabbed Yoongi’s attention after all, judging by the poorly-hidden snort from the washing up area.

Scowling, you chucked together a cup of tea distractedly, only too relieved when you pushed it over the counter to be rid of Hoseok. So when he sipped it only to wince in disgust, your heart sank.

“Jesus, where’s the caffeine? This is so weak.”

Your desire to argue back lost its short-lived wrestle with your customer service training, and you were reluctantly offering to make a new one. This time, you forced yourself to pay more attention. You knew that way, you could actually get rid of the nuisance on the other side of the counter.

“You see Y/N, the bag goes in the water,” Hoseok remarked, leaning over to see what you were doing.

Shooting the most passionate glare you could muster had the undesirable effect of sending him into peals of laughter.

Eventually, after making a point to leave the teabag in for much longer – at least until you noticed his fingers begin to tap on the countertop – you passed over his second cup with a sarcastic smile. His mood didn’t seem to have dampened that much, but he left without a fuss.

“You have great chemistry.”

The dry remark from behind you had you whirling around to glare at Yoongi instead. He stood in front of his stack of clean washing, observing you with a smirk.

“I don’t think Jung Hoseok knows what chemistry is,” you grumbled.

But as you set to work, a little aggressively, on scrubbing the counter, you never would have guessed how right you were. Or that it would soon become your responsibility.

“So when we sleep, what part of the brain transfers memory from white to grey matter?”

“…what’s grey matter again?”

“I think you could do with some more of it,” you muttered in lieu of an answer.

Hoseok lifted his head from his arms just enough to fix you with reproachful puppy eyes. Sighing, you tugged the textbook back across the table towards you, flipping a few pages back and jabbing your finger at the relevant passage.

Raising an eyebrow, he read it for the second time today with a growing frown.

“Long term…” he said at length.

“Long term memory!” you groaned, dropping your forehead against the heel of your hands.

Behind you, you knew Jungkook and Yoongi were watching this unfold with amusement. You weren’t sure you could take much more of this.

If you had envisaged this when you had signed up for your college’s mentor program, well, you may have changed your mind.

At last, the hour dragged by. Apparently Hoseok wanted to be there as little as you, collecting the books and leaving very quickly once you were done. Though your shift was over, you were sure you might explode if you didn’t get to rant about the guy right now.

Huffing, you marched over to the counter.

“He’s such a jerk!” you threw your hands out, “his ego’s so big, it’s like he thinks he’s too good to even try! And now it’s up to me to make sure he isn’t so behind, but there is so much to do!”

Your coworkers weren’t helping. Both had given up suppressing their laughter, openly enjoying your pain.

“You guys are no help,” you grumbled, folding your arms.

“Just be patient,” Jungkook offered, “it might get better in time.”

“Patience is not something Jung Hoseok inspires,” you retorted, “and I’m being good enough as it is! I even had the generosity to lend him my textbook!”

“You’re a saint,” Yoongi chuckled.

A withering glare later, you slung your bag over your shoulder and bid your friends a tired goodbye.

Much as you hated to admit it, there may have been some truth in what Jungkook told you. Patience did seem to be the key after all. A lot of patience.

A few more meetings had passed, and Hoseok remembered a lot more now. You weren’t sure whether it was due to the quality of your teaching or just a desire to avoid your constant scolding, but it didn’t matter too much. The result was what counted.

You were to meet again today. As always, he came as your shift finished so that you could work in the café.

“You like him really.”

Jungkook’s voice tore your eyes away from the clock you had been watching.

“I’m sorry?”

“You like him,” he repeated, “I’ve never seen you so impatient to get off work.”

“What? I’m not,” you scoffed, “it’s just-“

The little jingling bell above the door interrupted you. Never finishing your thought, you left Jungkook to meet Hoseok at the counter.

“Tea?” you asked him.

“Not if you’re making it,” he quipped, eyes already skimming the menu on the wall behind you.

You scoffed with a roll of your eyes, but said no more. Hoseok’s teasing eyes returned to you as he said,

“Think you can manage a hot chocolate?”

“Of course I can make hot cock-“ your eyes widened at your momentary slip “-chocolate. I can make hot chocolate-“

But for all your correcting and muttering, there was no hiding your embarrassing moment from Hoseok, whose eyes lit up with surprise before laughter spilled out of him in reams.

“I didn’t mean to make you so flustered, Y/N!” he cackled.

Biting your tongue, you hid your burning face from him as he half-collapsed against the counter with the force of his laughter. You angrily set to work on the drink, milk sloshing in the jug as you thrust it under the machine.

“With whipped scream on top too, huh?”

Hoseok’s incessant mocking didn’t stop until you had handed him the drink. If anything could prove to Jungkook just how wrong he was, this should do it. Still, you didn’t dare to turn around and see what your friend made of the situation.

Mixing the powder into the hot milk forcefully, you glared down at the cup.

Damn Jung Hoseok! He couldn’t be any more infuriating if he tried. It wasn’t your fault he was so annoying it made it hard for you to think straight. No one else managed to rile you up so much as him.

You gave him the drink with a side of deathly glare. It only served to amuse him more.

Safe to say you were dreading the next hour.

Clocking off soon after, you hung up your apron regretfully and headed across to your usual table. Thankfully Hoseok was a bit more subdued now.

Unfortunately, you were about to find out why.

“So, Y/N,” he started as you were sitting down.

This brought your attention to him straight away. Your eyes narrowed as he toyed with his mug on the table, avoiding your eyes.

“So, uh, that textbook you lent me-“

You had a bad feeling already. Looking around, you didn’t notice it on the usual pile of books.

“Where is it?” you cut him off.

At last he raised his head to meet your eyes, and you didn’t like what you saw.

“It’s not like we need it that badly anyway,” he began, though you weren’t sure you had ever heard him sound so hesitant, “we finished most of the stuff in there anyway…”

“You lost it, didn’t you?”

“Well, yeah. And I think I also spilled some-“

Not waiting for him to finish, you exclaimed your frustration.

“I can’t believe you! Just because you don’t see a use for ever picking up a book, I need that! I don’t have that kind of money spare either…”

As you raked a hand through your hair, Hoseok decided now was the time to be helpful.

“Gosh, I was afraid you would do this. We have a library for a reason, you know?”

Stopping your train of thought abruptly, you lowered your hand to glower at him.

“And now you’re going to make me go in the library? Ugh, you really have it out for me.”

Incredulous laughter followed. Hoseok leaned back in his chair, observing you with raised eyebrows.

“You’re telling me you believe in those stupid rumours?”

Shifting uncomfortably, you shrugged.

“Well, you’ve got to admit the place is creepy, right? And my flatmate said she knew that girl Cindy-“

As you spoke, Hoseok’s laughing grew louder, steadily filling the café until you were forced to stop.

“What?” you hissed.

“We’ve all heard about “Cindy”,” he made quotation marks in the air, “but that’s just a story! The older students made it up to scare newbies – and it would seem it worked. But everyone knows the scariest thing in the library is just the course reading.”

Biting your tongue, you didn’t muster up a response. You would only face more ridicule if you argued about this.

“Don’t forget the librarian,” you joked half-heartedly.

Hoseok chuckled lightly, and you were glad he dropped the topic after that.

But still the issue of your sorely misused textbook remained.

There was nothing to be done. You had to go to the library.

It may seem a ridiculous thing to be scared of, especially for someone who loved books, but, as Hoseok had kindly refreshed your memory of, there were… stories. The campus library at your college warranted a degree of wariness.

Most commonly told was the story of Cindy, supposedly a student at the university many years before. No matter how dramatic the story was made, the essentials were the same; she had gone into the library and never come out.

Logically, you knew that this was just one of those quirky urban legends that came to surround certain places.

Nonetheless, your nerves only worsened as you entered the grand building.

On your way in, you only passed one other student. Most people were leaving uni at around this time, but you needed to hang around anyway because your shift was soon. You had sent a quick text to Yoongi to let him know you would be there once you found the book, and somehow it comforted you a little that someone else knew you were here.

Moving through the first few rows of tall bookshelves, you had to pass by the main desk on your way to the section you were looking for.

Doing your utmost to tread with care, sandals making as little noise as you could manage on the wooden floor, you walked on.

As you drew near, the librarian looked up. Greeting them with a bright smile, you didn’t let it show that your heart was really thumping in your chest.

Hurrying along, you only slowed once you had entered the right section. Near the back of the library, it was dimmer as no light from the window reached all the way into the corner. Utter silence dampened the air. Not even the rustling of the librarian sorting papers could be heard from here.

Alone with the hushed sound of your own breath, your eyes flicked along the rows, searching for the right name.

Spotting it at last, you wasted no time in reaching for it. But as you tried to slide it from its spot, you were met with resistance. Perhaps it was very tightly packed in its place.

You tried again with both hands. It was still wedged in, but you felt it give a little so kept pulling. You managed to tug it out a little way, but this time, the book tugged back. Holding onto it as tightly as you were, you stumbled forwards, nearly slipping out of one of your sandals.

Gulping, your brow creased. More determined this time, you tried once more, but it seemed the book only retreated further among its companions on the shelf.

Breathing heavily, you stepped back. Books were not meant to do this. You swore it had moved by itself.

Maybe Hoseok would call you crazy if this was your reason for not getting the textbook. But, you thought, staring back down the empty row of shelves, a science textbook was less important than not getting involved with the strange happenings of the library.

Already you were questioning your sanity. Books didn’t move.

Looking back at it once more, it appeared perfectly unassuming. There was nothing unusual about the book. Maybe your mind was playing tricks, driven from the fear you felt about this place.

Breathing deeply, you reached your hand out for one last try. Picking up a book couldn’t be that hard. As long as you didn’t fear it-

Your fingers came into contact with the spine, and not a moment later, the book shrunk right back. But though it shot out of sight between its neighbours, your hand was stuck to it. Your intent to snatch it straight back at any sign of movement failed, and you were yanked forwards.

Flying clean off your foot now, your sandal clattered to the floor among the silent shelves behind you.

Your stomach jerked at the sudden movement. Now, as you plunged towards the shelves, you screwed your eyes shut, anticipating the imminent collision.

None came.

Instead, your insides seemed to be suspended. You had not crashed, but still your feet didn’t meet the floor; though your eyes were closed you were certain you were falling.

Rapidly upping its pace, your heart tried to punch through your ribs the longer you were in this state, fearing your landing. Panicked, you took great gulps of air, limbs flailing fruitlessly.

You landed.

It felt like you had been falling for a long time – too long – yet the force you hit the ground with was not painful. For a second, it expelled air from your lungs, but by the time you had rolled and tumbled enough to land on your back, you were sucking in a shaky breath.

Blinking, you turned to look around you. Your arms struggled to push you from the ground, but you heaved to sit up anyway.

This was like nowhere you had ever been.

No parquet was beneath you here. The ground was earth, sparse tufts of grass growing from it. But in places, the foliage was abundant, great swathes of vibrant grass surrounding a nearby rock which protruded from the ground.

These rocks were also plentiful, though not of regular size. They poked from the ground, rough surfaces being seized by moss of all colours.

Other plants stretched higher still, all in shades of purple, green and blue. Climbing slowly to your feet, your eyes traced up the stem of a slender tree whose leaves drooped downwards with their size.

The only thing you could hope to recognise were roses that grew in places, curved petals familiar atop their stems that wound around larger plants.

In the scattered canopy above you, there appeared to be vines as well. Climbers, perhaps; it appeared as if they were winding around ceiling beams above you, except that they were in open air, pale sky stretching above them.

Very deliberately, you blinked.

Nothing changed.

Jaw hanging open, you turned slowly around. This place continued the same everywhere you looked. You certainly weren’t in the library anymore.

Taking some effort to breathe evenly, you forced your feet to still.

Remembering your phone, you quickly reached for it. But as you repeatedly pressed the power button, the screen remained black. Either you had let it run down, or it wouldn’t work in this alien place.

You replaced it in your pocket with bitter disappointment and continued to stand still, observing this place.

Purposefully, you walked towards the nearest rock. Given the way you were transported here, you were a little wary of touching random objects, but you tentatively reached for the mossy surface. Briefly grazing it, you jumped backwards, expecting something to happen.

Nothing. Just the springy surface of moss, solid and very real.

Staring at the rock, your mind ran in uncomprehending circles. How had you got here? Why? How could you get out?

Cutting through your thoughts, a thump came from behind you.

Startled, you jumped around, eyes darting in panic around the world you had found yourself in. Nothing seemed to have moved…

A cough, followed by a groan, drifted from somewhere.

Frown deepening, you stepped forwards. A few paces brought you around the next rock, bigger than the last. Not only was it taller than you, it was bordered on one side by more of the tall plants, blocking your view of what was behind it.

This was definitely where the sounds were emanating from. As you cautiously rounded the boulder, rustling sounds reached your ears.

Reaching the trees, you peered between two dark blue trunks. Every muscle in your body was tense, ready to spring away at the first sign of danger.

Instead, you were greeted with the shape of a person. They wore a dark jacket, their hair also dark, but they were facing away from you where they sat.

For a moment you stood frozen. You were divided: should you announce yourself? Maybe they could help you? But for all you knew, they might not feel kindly towards you. What would another person be doing in this strange place?

Before you had the chance to decide, let alone move, the person slumped backwards to lie down, huffing a great sigh as they went.

Your eyes widened. Now you could see their face — and you certainly hadn’t expected this.

“Hoseok?”

Squeezing between the trees, you pushed your way into the small clearing he lay in. On hearing your voice, he twisted towards you with wide eyes.

“Y/N?” he jumped up, eyeing you suspiciously, “what is this place?”

“I have no idea,” you answered honestly. Then, “what are you doing here?”

Echoing your earlier words, he said, “I have no idea.”

After a moment, he seemed to remember something and looked around sharply.

“I found this,” he told you, pointing at the ground some feet away. There lay your sandal from earlier.

“Oh. Thank you.”

You flashed an awkward smile and went to pick it on, sliding it back onto the foot it had lost not long ago. Then your silence resumed.

Briefly, you did nothing but stare at each other. Then you stared again at the bizarre scenery around you.

Hoseok was first to move. Apparently becoming tired of your company so soon, he turned away with hands on his hips and began to pick through the undergrowth, which was thicker here than where you had first landed.

Even if this was all the company you were granted, you were eager to keep it, and so followed him.

A few minutes passed. Eerie silence was all around, save for the tentative brush of your footsteps against plants. He hadn’t complained about your presence, though, so you eventually decided it safe to speak.

“Did you… fall here?” you ventured.

His eyes snapped back to you. With a nod, he confirmed it.

“From the library?”

Slowing down, he allowed you to catch up and walk at his side.

“Yeah, why? You too?”

“That’s what happened to me,” you nodded, “but… what were you doing in the library?”

But Hoseok never heard those last words. A deafening, crunching crash resounded through your quiet conversation, drowning you out.

Both of you reacted quickly, spinning to the source of the monstrous sound in fear. Your hammering heart only sped up as you located a dark shape above the treetops.

“There!” you cried, grabbing onto Hoseok’s sleeve.

He spotted it as you pointed, for it was rapidly growing, soaring towards you.

“What is that?” he yelled, stumbling backwards.

You had nothing to offer in reply, instead watching with wide eyes as the creature flew closer still. Still grasping at Hoseok’s sleeve, you tugged at it, looking around for the nearest cover. He made no move. Struck dumb with awe, he seemed to be rooted to the spot.

Turning back to the sky, you were panicked to see the beast drawing closer. You could make out a long snout protruding from its head, spiny wings beating slowly and yet carrying it swiftly over the land.

The monster was enormous, blocking out a chunk of the open sky.

Not wanting to hesitate any longer, you pulled Hoseok forcefully with you as you retreated under the cover of a thick patch of foliage. He complied, still unable to tear his gaze from the flying creature.

You almost daren’t look, even now you were secluded among shadow. But curiosity overcame you.

It was near enough on top of you now. You held your breath, terror washing over you at the sight of it, close enough now that you could make out scales on the thing’s large belly. They glimmered a blazing red as it moved.

But its pace was fast, and it continued quickly, long tail etching a path through the sky behind it.

“Was that…” you breathed, after you felt enough time had passed to be safe. But your thought was too absurd for you to speak out loud.

However, Hoseok finished it for you.

“A dragon?”

Both of you slowly turned to face each other, matching expressions of perplexed shock painting your faces. You opened and closed your mouth, but no words presented themselves.

Your gaze was only severed by the return of the same cacophony to the air that had first heralded the dragon. Only now, it was louder.

Ducking by reflex, you whipped around. Above the treetops, the dragon was returning.

Still filling the air, the sound was that of treetops rupturing as the scaled beast flew low over them, snapping them like matchsticks. Once again, it seemed like the thing was coming straight towards you.

“Let’s move,” you shouted over the noise.

Hoseok didn’t need telling twice.

Side by side, you raced between trees, feet and clothes catching on leaves and vines that spanned the floor. Plunging on nonetheless, you kept your eyes set determinedly ahead.

By the time your lungs demanded you stop for breath, you were sure you must have gone a considerable distance from where you had first been hiding. But the deafening crashes from above had become no quieter.

Slowing down, you sagged against a tree as you gasped for air. Just in front of you, Hoseok looked around, finding you holding yourself up shakily against the trunk.

With a look to the sky and back at you, his face sank further, eyes wide and afraid.

“Y/N!” he cried.

Lifting your head, you met his eyes. Still panting, you turned to follow a finger he raised as he took trembling steps backwards.

Overhead, the leaves seemed to shake. A shadow was sliding along the forest floor as above it, twigs and branches rained down, bouncing from their lower counterparts until they disappeared into the shrubbery.

The dragon was following you.

“Come on!” Hoseok’s voice reached you somewhere among the din.

Spinning, you found him holding a hand out to you, gesturing maniacally for you to continue. You had barely caught your breath, but forced yourself to push away from the tree and run towards him once more.

What did surprise you was that he waited for you. When you came within reach, his outstretched hand was grabbing you, pulling you along at his side.

But there was no time to think of that. Chest heaving with exertion, you willed your feet to move faster underneath you in an attempt to flee the dragon.

All at once, the tall tree trunks you had been running between, almost dense enough to form a forest, stopped. Realising too late, the two of you shot from the cover at full speed, only to find yourselves utterly exposed.

Skidding to a stop, you looked to Hoseok in panic.

Before you could take another step, shadow fell over you again, but it was not cast by harmless trees. The roar of splintering branches grew to an overwhelming crescendo as the dragon caught sight of you and dived, uncaring for the insignificant wood pushed aside by its bulk.

Beside you, Hoseok screamed hoarsely. Together you fled backwards, knowing there was no hope of outrunning your pursuer.

In a few seconds, the beast had descended, giant nostrils flaring at your eye level. Curved fangs gnashed.

With horror, you saw a glow brighten the deep tunnels atop its snout.

In the corner of your eye, you spotted another rock, rough surface towering from the ground. You barely had time to think before you were shoving Hoseok to the side so you fell together behind the barrier. Not a moment later, blazing orange flared, obscuring all other sights as fire erupted from the monster’s jaws and nostrils.

You gave no thought to the position you had fallen in, your push having left you tumbling directly on top of Hoseok. His scream rang in your ears, only rivalled by the crackling heat in the air as his arms wrapped around you. You too were curling up, hands shielding your head in some attempt to shelter.

Thankfully, the rock you had chosen was one of the larger ones and took the brunt of the blast.

Not that it encouraged you much, considering the persistence the beast had shown so far. The dying away of the heat and fire only brought on dread, gnawing low and incessant in your stomach, of the next blast.

Barely daring to breathe, you stayed still, huddling against Hoseok, who did the same.

Any moment, you expected another massive roar to rip through the air. A swipe of the malicious claws or the sizzling heat of dragon flame. The longer you waited, the harder your heart rioted in your chest.

“Students.”

You jolted violently as a loud voice resonated through the air. But it was not the dragon.

Looking around showed you no one who the voice might belong to.

“It is gone,” the voice said.

Hoseok’s hold around you was loosening. Swallowing, you became aware of your proximity and carefully extracted yourself, not looking him in the eye as you moved to sit next to him instead.

It was true that no indicator of the dragon’s presence had made itself known, but you were not inclined to trust a faceless voice. You crawled to peer around the edge of the rock. Finding the space empty, you emerged further.

The clearing was totally deserted. The only evidence of the recent fearful moments was the debris of burnt leaves and broken branches scattered across the ground.

“Who are you?” Hoseok raised his voice, though it shook a little.

You returned to his side, the voice replying as you sunk down beside him.

“Students,” the voice repeated. It was level and calm, but awfully cold. The word was spoken with disdain. “I doubt you would recognise such a voice as mine. You young humans know not the value of words, of books. I am the librarian.”

You blinked in surprise. Next to you, Hoseok sat forward from the rock you leaned against.

“You are? Can you get us out of here?” he yelled, aiming his voice at the sky for lack of target for his pleas.

“Certainly not. I am the keeper of this land. You see, due to the neglect of your kind, my creatures are only kept alive through written word, and I cannot let them be endangered. Students are all the same. Careless. I do not appreciate those who vandalise or waste the knowledge granted them through books. And so, I cannot let you take another one.”

“It’s just a science textbook,” you muttered.

Meanwhile, Hoseok was growing more desperate.

“We won’t!” he called, “just let us out!”

Ringing silence was all he received in reply.

Eventually, he flopped back against the rock with a huff. Worrying your lip, you turned to him, though you had nothing to propose for what you should do next.

His hair was a dishevelled now, strands falling into his eyes which he now turned to you. To your surprise, his mouth curved back into a smile, breathy laughs bursting from him as he rested his head back on the rock.

He shook his head.

“This is crazy.”

You had to agree.

Turning your despairing eyes away and to the surrounding forest again, you were surprised to see movement among the trees. But this creature was not enormous or fire-breathing. A sandy-coloured tail waved, blurring in the air.

Bounding through the trees and coming to a stop at the forest edge, came a labrador.

Staring in bemusement, you found the dog looking right back at you. It was panting, mouth open in a smiley-looking shape. Its tail continued wagging enthusiastically behind it.

Just as you opened your mouth to tell Hoseok, the dog went rigid, body jerking as it barked across the space.

Sitting up straight, Hoseok spotted the dog as well, and together you watched it.

The dog watched back, standing still as if waiting for something. It reminded you of the way your flatmate’s dog used to wait for you to throw the ball when you played with her.

After another minute of stillness, it barked again, then turned and ran. You jumped to your feet as the yellow tail went wagging away through the shadows.

“What are you-“ Hoseok exclaimed as you started towards the trees, following the dog’s path.

Already tired, your legs lagged behind the dog’s pace and you nearly lost sight of the sandy fur. But you kept your eyes trained on it. This animal did not seem unfriendly, or angry. Something told you that you could trust it.

“Where are you going?”

You hadn’t noticed the pursuing footsteps until Hoseok was grabbing your arm, forcing you to stop. Looking around at him in annoyance, you shrugged him off and turned back around. But you had lost sight of the dog now, finding the forest empty.

Your shoulders slumped.

“I was trying to do something to get us out of here-“

“By getting more lost?”

Hoseok’s eyes blazed with anger and he threw his arms out to punctuate his yell with frustration. Opening your mouth, you returned his outrage.

“We’ve been lost since we got here! We don’t know anything about this place, but we can’t just do nothing!”

“What can we do? You heard what the librarian said.”

His volume had lowered and he took a step back.

Breathing out, you did the same, noticing only now how you had crowded each other’s space in your anger. Swallowing down your own frustration, you levelled your gaze at him. His words spoke of despair.

Sighing, you pushed a hand through your hair.

“There’s no use in fighting,” you muttered, “and I’m scared too. But we have to try.”

Lifting his eyes to you, Hoseok felt then as if he was seeing you for the first time.

You shared his fear, and had spoken that out loud, but still the steely glint never left your eyes. Rather than run or hide, you stood tall, resolved to find a way out, no matter how hopeless this crazy turn of events seemed.

“Hoseok?” you called, rendered hesitant by his silence.

Giving his head a quick shake, he averted his gaze from you.

“Hobi,” he spoke.

You frowned.

“I’m sorry?”

“Call me Hobi,” he repeated, “if we’re stuck here forever, I won’t be able to stand it if you call me Hoseok all the time.”

“Oh. Okay.”

Taking that to be some odd form of agreement, you turned around and started to pick your way again through the forest, no matter how blindly. The only vague thing guiding you was the notion that the dog had left this way, but that certainty grew weaker with time.

The only thing bolstering you were the steady steps of Hobi right beside you. A reminder you weren’t alone here.

“Sorry for losing your textbook.”

Smile quirking your lips, you turned to Hobi. He was steadfastly ignoring your gaze, kicking his feet through the low undergrowth while his hands were buried in his pockets.

“If you hadn’t done that, I wouldn’t be here now,” you hummed.

That caught his attention.

“Hey! At least I’m apologising!”

“Doesn’t fix the fact we’re lost in… well, wherever this is,” you chuckled, “though I’m sure it’s worked out well for you.”

“What do you mean?”

“If I hadn’t come here to replace my textbook, you would be here all alone.”

Hoseok simply tilted his head in vague answer.

After a few short moments of quiet, you resumed the conversation.

“So, what were you in the library for?”

He let silence stretch out for longer than you expected, and you slowed your steps to look at him. His eyes were wide, and when he spoke, it was with a nervous smile, as if he wasn’t sure he should be smiling.

But he was too quiet, and all you heard was something that sounded like ‘yuzbook’.

“Sorry?” you frowned.

With a long-suffering sigh, he finally spoke up.

“I was looking for your science book as well.”

Your eyebrows shot upwards.

“You were?”

“Yes.”

“I thought you had decided it was my responsibility? Even though you lost it.”

“Exactly, I had lost it. I felt bad.”

“Ha!” you exclaimed, jumping around to dance in front of him, “Jung Hoseok admits remorse! What is the world coming to?!”

“I told you to call me Hobi,” he grumbled.

A smile was still bursting at your lips, but you calmed down and returned smugly to his side.

“My bad. Hobi wanted to do something nice! For me, of all people! Maybe this really is a dream…”

“You dream about me?” he grinned, teasing right back.

“Eugh, of course not,” you scoffed.

His laughter filled the forest, and you were glad of it. At length, it faded and you walked on.

“But, turns out you were right to be scared of the library,” he admitted quietly.

Simply nodding, you kept going. By now you had lost all hope to have remained on course with the dog you had seen earlier, but there was little use dwelling on that.

Most of the way, you had been trekking through forest, but now the trees were thinning. Once again, they began to be clustered in patches near protruding rocks.

Coming between two waist-height boulders, you found a pond lying cradled by short grasses and more rose plants.

Agreeing on a break, you and Hobi slumped down at its bank, though you also agreed not to drink it. Hobi seemed much more distrustful of everything you came across in this curious land than you, but there was no harm in caution, you supposed. It was true that, on getting closer to the water, it appeared to glimmer silver.

What that meant, you didn’t know, but didn’t care to investigate.

Reclining on the ground, you breathed deeply. The pond was in a large clearing, similar to the first place you had crash landed in. You couldn’t escape some dread that all this time had brought you in a mere circle to the beginning, but there was no way to be certain.

Forest lined one side of the oasis, while the other stretched away, obscured behind that rocky landscape dotted with an array of foliage.

As you scanned the area idly, a familiar blur of motion had you sitting up with a yelp.

“There! Did you see that!” you cried, but began running without waiting for a reply.

Twisting to attention, Hobi clumsily took to his feet after you.

“You sure?” he called after you.

You kept running. You had seen it – it had been right here. You were certain it was trying to lead you somewhere, and you felt compelled to follow it.

Plunging between rocks, Hobi’s slower steps faded behind you. Uncaring, you continued, eyes alert for any sign of your goal.

And there it was: another brief glimmer from just beyond the next clump of plants. You were so close. This time, you were going to reach it. It would get you out of here.

Still running, you didn’t care that the way wound deeper through the terrain, nor that the world around you darkened as you went. No, your mind was set. You kept moving.

When you finally reached what seemed to be the midst of the darkness, it never occurred to you that this was never what you had been looking for. All you were filled with was delight; in the middle of the dark clearing stood a grove of roses. They were taller than the roses you had seen so far, growing thickly and close together.

In the blackness, the petals emitted a soft glow that shone through their delicate veins.

A smile curved your lips. But as you took a slow step towards the luminescence, something emerged from behind them. It became clear that the roses themselves were not glowing, but the creature. A unicorn.

White coat shimmering with its every move, it seemed to glide over the landscape. The slender horn protruding from its head appeared crafted by the finest silversmith, with hints of colours dancing along it even in darkness.

All breath was stolen from you. Your startled exhale left a cloud lingering in the air beside your lips which glittered as the majestic animal walked in front of you.

Either it didn’t see you, or didn’t mind your presence, because it proceeded perfectly calmly. Keeping your eyes fixed on it, your feet stumbled after the serene creature without you willing them to.

You barely blinked as you followed the graceful unicorn, desperate to keep your eyes on it. You couldn’t have torn them away if you wanted to. Just watching the animal had all your tension melting away: legs feeling heavy, mind fogging. All your worries dissipated as easily as smoke in the wind.

The world was silent. It was as if your ears were plugged as you reached out, somehow confident enough to touch the noble beast.

Another step closer.

Your fingers stretched out, ready to meet the sleek, glowing coat-

“Y/N!”

A blow knocked you sideways, a weight falling with you as the shout of your name rung loudly in your ears. For a split second, you winced, expecting to be crushed on the ground, but already a hand shielded your head. Instead, you landed on a body, held securely in the person’s arms.

Gasping, you found yourself breathless. Your gaze had been severed on being tackled, and now that you blinked, dark clouds seemed to lift from your vision.

Looking around wildly, you were slow to come to your senses, but the person was already shifting.

“We need to move.”

That voice was familiar. Looking around, you found Hoseok’s eyes trained on you as he struggled to stand with your weight against him.

Clumsily getting your feet underneath you, your mouth opened, but a shriek filled the air before you could speak.

Clapping your hands over your ears, you winced at the piercing wail splitting the air.

Hoseok, however, wasted no time. He grasped your wrist, pulling you stumbling across the clearing behind him as he sprinted away.

Wide-eyed and breathless, you twisted to look behind you. The unicorn was still there, but it wasn’t glowing, just plain white. But your eyes only caught it for a second, before a darker shape was swooping from the sky.

Feet pounding, you fled the shrieking beast as it descended in a rush of feathers.

Glinting talons flashed, inches in front of your face as the bird-like shriek reached its peak.

And then you were plunged into shadow, squeezed between leaves and petals.

Hoseok slowed, dropping your hand, but you were practically frozen. You staggered backwards, eyes trained on the spot those razor sharp claws had been.

Above you, the shrill cry was quieting, echoing around the land as your attacker circled higher once more.

“What… what was that?” you panted.

“That was close,” Hoseok responded, no humour in his voice. “I was calling to you! Why didn’t you move?”

“You were?” you frowned, “I-I didn’t hear. I don’t know what happened.”

Light frown creasing his brow, Hobi looked seriously down at you. Swallowing, he looked you over. Your heart still trembled, trying to take in what had just happened, and you looked up at him fearfully. Was he angry?

Fixing his eyes on your own, Hobi stepped forward, bending to draw your faces closer together. Holding your breath, you stiffened, heart rate rocketing as his breath fell warm over your cheeks.

Then he reached his hand out. You forced yourself to hold his gaze, not sure why your face was growing hotter under his scrutiny.

His fingers met your hair. They pulled gently at a strand.

“You had this in your hair.”

Blinking, you found him holding a rose petal up, the hint of a smirk playing on his lips.

“Right. Thank you,” you spoke awkwardly, snatching it from his hand.

“Let’s stay here for a bit,” he said then, turning around as if nothing had happened. However, you didn’t complain. You didn’t want him to see your burning cheeks.

Hobi had pulled you into the grove of roses you had seen earlier, which grew some way above your heads. The bushes were close together, providing the perfect cover. You heard no more of the shrieking monster as you walked after him through the plants.

Beautiful flower heads were nestled everywhere, the graceful bundles of petals peering at these strangers walking through their home.

Eventually, Hobi came to a halt. When you stopped at his side, he pushed aside some leaves to show you what lay beyond.

You had reached the other side of the grove and a new clearing lay before you. Unlike the other places you had been, there were no tall trees or wide rocks rising from the ground. At last it was flat.

But, most noticeably, in the middle of the clearing there was a building. Deep blue walls rose from a gold base, thin pillars winding upwards to support the corners of the many-sided roof. Small arched windows were set high up in the walls, through which you could see a silvery glow from inside.

Hobi looked around the space before emerging. No longer impatient, you wholly agreed with his caution and also peered out carefully.

As you remained mostly hidden by the roses, something came running around the house.

The dog.

Same as before, it stood looking at you, smiling mouth and wagging tail welcoming.

First, you looked to Hobi.

“What do you think?”

“You were right,” he replied, “the dog seems alright. We should give it a shot.”

Smiling, you felt assured now you were in agreement. Not stopping to think too much about the action, you placed your hand resolutely in Hobi’s and stepped forwards.

This time the dog did not begin running away, waiting for you by the blue house wall instead. As the two of you drew closer, you bent a little, holding your hand out to the creature.

“Hi!” you cooed, ignoring Hobi’s light scoff from beside you.

The dog poised as if it would bark back, but instead it looked towards the house. Following its gaze, you looked through the window and instantly fell silent.

Inside, a figure was sitting, though you could only see their head and shoulders – and a pair of wings. They fluttered lazily, glinting in the silvery light.

“The librarian,” Hobi murmured.

Nodding, you looked back to the dog.

“Will you help us?” you whispered.

Its tail wagged harder.

Smiling, you reached out to give it a gentle pat, ruffling the soft fur between its ears.

Satisfied, the sandy blond animal turned around, tail blurring all the while. It trotted away, leading you around the house. On passing the windows, you both ducked, fearing what the faerie would do if they discovered you here.

A short dash, looking over your shoulders, and you finally reached a thick row of trees. Squeezing behind the large trunks, you were surprised to see large wooden doors waiting for you.

If not for the lingering worry of the librarian somewhere nearby, you would have laughed out loud.

Hobi rushed forwards, grasping the dogs ears and ruffling them enthusiastically.

“You got us out!” he whispered happily.

You were amused to see the dog’s smiling mouth grow wider, tongue hanging out with his praise.

Jumping up with a brilliant grin, Hobi walked to the door. Waiting by the handle, he let you also say goodbye to your four-legged saviour.

“Thank you,” you told it with a loving pat. For a moment, you looked into the dog’s eyes, wishing you could somehow convey your gratitude.

Then a thought came over you. Tilting your head, you frowned slightly.

“Cindy?”

The dog’s tail whirred back into motion, hopping up and down a little at the name.

Breaking into a smile, you patted it affectionately.

“Good girl, Cindy,” you grinned, “thank you.”

Then you stood to join Hobi’s side. He lifted the great handle, which made a concerning thunk in the quiet.

Hurriedly slipping through, you fell against the other side of the wood as he followed and shut it firmly behind him. You were back at the entrance of the library, the glass doors at the front of the foyer showing the road beyond it, no different than ever as cars and pedestrians hurried along.

“Who let someone like that work in a school?” you laughed, incredulous.

Hobi laughed loudly at last, the sound bringing a bigger grin to your face.

You had made it out.

All of a sudden, a pinging sound rang from your pocket, soon over taken by at least five more.

Pulling out your phone, you found it alive again, the screen lit up and full of messages.

“Yoongi’s wondering where I am,” you muttered, “my shift…”

Hobi pushed away from the wooden door, starting to walk with you across the entrance hall. Stuffing his hands into his pockets, he nodded.

“Yeah, um, I should get going too, I guess.”

Opening the main doors, you stood outside on the steps, at a loss. A bus rumbled past.

“Okay,” you spoke at length, “yeah. Er, see you around.”

Smiling briefly, Hobi took a few hesitant steps back before he committed to walking away. One last wave and he was engulfed by the crowd on the street.

You sighed and set off in the opposite direction.

The bell clinked, swinging wildly above the door as you hurried over to the counter.

“I’m so sorry I’m late,” you spoke as you set your stuff down.

Turning to lean against the counter, Yoongi shrugged.

“’s’alright. Where were you though?”

“Ah…”

What were you meant to say? Your head was still spinning from everything that had passed, but you knew no one would believe you if you told them the truth. Shifting a little, your teeth nipped at your lower lip while you tried to come up with a reasonable excuse.

Meanwhile, a knowing look was sliding onto Yoongi’s face.

“I see,” he grinned, and then, to your mortification, winked!

“No, you don’t- that’s not-“ you protested, but he was already snickering and turning back to the washing up.

Shaking your head, you concluded that whatever his belief was would make as good as excuse as any. At least he had made it up for you, saving the hassle.

You got to work.

Over the next couple of days, everything ran like normal. Except for you, nothing was normal.

You still had no idea how such a small amount of time had passed while you and Hobi were busy running for your lives in fear of the librarian and their crazed world. You had barely been late for your shift afterwards; when it was time for bed you had collapsed straight in, feeling as if you had been awake for two days straight.

Of course, you had never gone back for that textbook.

In college the next day, you had taken a detour to class, stubbornly avoiding the building that had all but kidnapped you, wondering at the fact no one else seemed to realise.

At the café later on, you waited impatiently for any sign of Hobi outside. He was the one person you desperately wanted to see. Surely he must be feeling the same? He would understand.

But you waited and waited, serving countless other customers without much thought. He never came, and so you were left to question your own sanity by yourself.

Nothing about your impromptu adventure made sense.

If it had been real, why didn’t Hobi act like anything had changed? You certainly couldn’t pretend that nothing had been altered between you while you had been trapped in that strange world inside the library.

Perhaps it had been a dream. All of it seemed so implausible that even recollecting it sent you spiralling with more questions.

But there was one hope. Even if Hobi remembered nothing of what transpired, you were still supposed to tutor him. You would see him next week, and try to assess what he might remember.

So when your phone buzzed that night, screen lighting up with a message from him at last, you had expected to arrange this week’s session. But all it said was: come outside.

Though you frowned, you weren’t going to pass up this chance.

Sliding off your bed, you quickly stuffed your feet into your slippers and tried your best not to break into a run on the way to the door. Collecting yourself first with a deep breath, you pulled it open.

The first thing you took in was empty space outside your door. Blinking at it, you couldn’t prevent the disappointment from creeping in. But then your eyes flickered downwards.

There at your feet lay a rose.

Your lips parted in wonder as you stooped to pick it up. Taking it between your fingers, you rolled it gently there. It was the exact same as those delicate flowers that had filled the grove where you sheltered together in the library.

A smile tugged at your mouth. It only grew as you remembered the identical petal Hobi had pulled from your hair.

He remembered.

The relief that washed over you was dizzying. Clutching the flower to your chest, you smiled out of your doorway once more, silently thanking Hobi.

But you wouldn’t have to be silent for long. Your eyes landed on a figure leaning against a lamppost a few metres away, smiling right back at you.

As your eyes met, Hobi stood straighter. His mouth shifted to a radiant grin. He had come back to you.

Thank you so much for reading!! And again, send lots of birthday love over to @moccahobi​!! As promised, here is the beautiful bingo card I used for this story:

taglist: @aianloveseven​ @preciouschimine​ @un2-verse​ @ddaechwita​ @taegularities​ 

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