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#things are hard here but at least i started to feel like a person
pupyuj · 2 days
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Dub-con eheh. . . anyway, g!p Yujin who befriends a naive virgin loser just so she can use them as her own personal fuck toy ><
Like imagine having a studying sesh with her and it ends with her just taking your virginity. You're crying and trying so hard to resist, but it's just so hard when she's whispering the most unpure shit in your ear that you can't help but slowly submit.
"you're complaining and trying to resist, yet your moaning like a bitch in heat."
"Shut up and take it like the good girl you are."
"You're not going to tell anyone right? No one is going to believe you, and it's your fault for dressing like a slut and provoking me."
"Gonna mold you into my pretty little pet."
"You love it when I take advantage of your tight little virgin cunt, don't you?."
You're not a slut, right? You're not enjoying this at all
Right?
You can't help but believe every little word she says. Eventually you just give up and take it like the good girl you are, because maybe she is right. Yujin is your friend and friends don't lie to each other, right?
Aaah, manipulative Yujin absolutely has my heart. . . Anyway, can I be 🎀 anon? ^_^
once again i am fashionably late to an ask!! 😭 apologies 🎀 anon, but here you go!!
[cw: dubcon, breeding.]
anything with toxic!yujin in it, i'm on board IDCCCC 🤤🤤 i'd love to think of her as a mean girl in this scenario too! she just wants an innocent little lamb to corrupt and unfortunately you were perfect for it! she's so happy that you were dumb enough to fall for her friendly act, it was too easy! yujinnie totally daydreams about completely destroying your cunt and having you cry out her name for everybody to hear... but she'll start small!
gosh, you were so stupid to not recognize her advances. yujin's touching your ass, practically groping your boobs, and she's always checking you out! but she was surprised at how willing you were to let her do whatever she wanted.. coming up behind you, whispering nasty things to your ear while unbuttoning your shirt.. no resistance at all! yujin always knew there could be this kind of side to you 🫣 you were a virgin in an all-girls university no fucking duh your mind has gone off the edge sometime and looked at some girls a little closer than one should 😙😙
but you see.. you wouldn’t feel too good on the inside about what yujin was doing! :(( every single touch that came from her was out of pure lust, not a single sign of care and intimacy… so you’d try and take her hands off of your tits but she’d only push you down on the bed with your top and bra haphazardly thrown to some corner of the room… yujinnie thinks you look so pretty with your eyes all glossy w tears, she couldn’t help but kiss you! at least she was soft with that! you wouldn’t say the same for the way she treated you after… feeling up your soaked panties from underneath her skirt with her fingers and laughing mockingly… berating you so much bcs here you were, powerless under her, trying to push her away, but you were so wet! and your body completely ignored what you wanted… slightly grinding against yujin’s hand just to feel something more down there.. yujin loved seeing that 😋😋
“this skirt is too cute on you… let’s leave it as it is, hm?” and then she pulls off your panties, not wasting another second before pressing her thumb against your clit just to make you whine loudly for her 🥰 yujinnie’s the one that decides whether you’re ready or not :(( you’re moaning in both pain and pleasure as she inserts two digits inside you so slowly… having to grip her arm bcs you don’t know where to put your hands :(( gosh you were adorable! and ofc yujin fucks you like she fucks any other girl that are stupid enough to get involved with a psychopath like her! rough and so painfully fast! “mm… good girl! you’re getting used to this quickly, huh?” you really weren’t though :((
it was frustrating… bcs it both hurt and felt so good! 😵‍💫 you didn’t know how to feel, let alone think! not a single coherent word left your mouth while yujin busied hers with licking and sucking on your nipples.. your arms wrapped all around her, pushing her closer to you bcs this was the one good thing that she’s done… having to bite onto her shirt just to conceal your noises but she didn’t like that! 🫣 she’d push you back, glaring down at you while she abused your pussy harder than ever if that was even possible! ah, but if you think you were done after cumming on her fingers... well, you were dumber than you actually were 🤭
her being even more unforgiving with her cock :(( just completely disregarding your pained cries and your pleads for her to slow down.. feeling the tip of her cock ram into unknown places inside you, her thickness being such a perfect fit in your tight cunt... yujin was completely addicted! she should've been quicker and fucked you way before if your pussy felt this good around her dick 😳😳 she fucks you with a mocking grin, knowing you were completely powerless to do anything against her.. eventually you just laid there, shaking and moaning her name as she uses you...
"you wanna.. ah, fuck... you wanna know how it feels to be bred full, princess?" oh, come on, this is yujin! ofc she doesn't wait for an answer! you couldn't utter a word that wasn't her name and a bunch of nonsense anyway! laying there as yujin dumped every single drop of her cum inside you.. feeling the warm fluid seep inside your walls while yujin stared at you with only filthy obsession in her eyes... you just looked way too pretty under her, you can't blame her for fucking and breeding you that entire afternoon! 💕
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oxymorayuri · 2 days
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HI YURII, i absolutely adore the way you write and i wanted to request some hc’s or a small fic abt law reaction to reader’s pregnancy, likeee how’d he react after telling him and how those 9 months would affect law’s personality and relationship w reader
but only if u want too ofc! thx and have a wonderful dayy <3
A/N: Hi there, my darling ♡
How can I refuse such a lovely request? I feel very honored every time you guys tell me that you enjoy my stories. My heart fills with pride when I read your kind comments.
OneShot or HC? Why not both? Two are better than one!
Here are the headcanons [Law|Ace|Kid|Doffy]
Okay, let's go! Have fun with the OneShot!
✦ Pairing: Trafalgar D. Water Law x Reader ✦ Content: idk, not much, i guess? I'm pretty bad at this lol. bit angst, a little jealousy and endless fluff ✦ Spoiler: none ✦ Description: You're pregnant and Law's reaction is everything you could wish for *-* This OneShot doesn't completely fit the request, hence the HC, hope that's okay :3
Wordcount: 6383
❝𝑌𝑜𝑢'𝑟𝑒 𝑔𝑜𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑡𝑜 𝑏𝑒 𝑔𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑡 𝑝𝑎𝑟𝑒𝑛𝑡𝑠!❞
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It's quite unusual for you to wake up in the middle of the night, but you woke up with an overwhelming craving for something sweet. Falling straight back to sleep is hopeless, so you're forced to stare around the room until perhaps drowsiness sets in.
Aside from the ticking of the clock, it's absolutely silent but you feel as if the ticking is becoming progressively louder 'til you have satisfied your ravenous appetite.
You picture it, the mousse that Ikkaku made… You have no clue how she makes it. You've tried to make it yourself, even following her recipe, but it's just not the same. However, when Ikkaku makes it, it tastes heavenly.
You can feel the foamy dessert melting on your tongue and the subtle hint of dark chocolate spreads through your mouth. Your saliva starts to gather in your mouth... That's enough! You need to eat dessert. Immediately!
The chance of waking Law is high, yet you would kill for a little midnight snack! The only thing is; you have to get out of Law's arms first...
You look at the dark haired man as he sleeps with a peaceful face. One arm around your waist, face to face.
On days like this, when you two haven't had much of each other, you'll at least have your little moments in your shared bed. With your faces turned towards each other, you talk about your busy day… Until one of you falls asleep and that one is usually you.
It's mostly you who talks about your day and Law hangs on your every word while you talk enthusiastically about all sorts of things.
Law is usually a bit reserved, because in his opinion he always does the same thing anyway and you must be getting bored of that. But that's not the case. You love the sparkle in his eyes when he talks about the things he has learned from his book, or when he has got hold of a rare coin.. He always lights up like a little boy who's been at school for the first day.
[throwback]
“…And did you know that an adult's entire intestine is 5 to 7 meters long? Imagine that.” You raise your eyebrow in disbelief.
“Five to seven meters?! No way, how is that supposed to fit?” You stroke your stomach while Law laughs at your bewilderment. Of course you believe him, you believe anything he says. He could tell you every lie and you would believe it immediately, but luckily Law doesn't lie to you. He is sometimes very secretive towards you and keeps a lot to himself like a loner, but he is by no means a liar.
“No joke, you can believe me… I could show you if you like.” Law speaks with a confident self assurance that makes you snort.
His confused eyes look at you insistently and he repeats that he could show you while raising his hand.
“Room!” You immediately realize what he's up to and you reach out with both hands to stop him. He really is planning to show you his intestines. Ah, no thanks.
You shake your head, still chuckling.
“I always believe you, my love… It's just kind of hard to imagine…” - “Yes, I know... I could hardly believe it either. That's why I took my intestine out straight away and measured it.”
You can't take any more. Law speaks with a nonchalance that brings tears to your eyes. You love him for his strangeness, that's what makes him so human.
“Anything for science.” you whisper quietly to him.
No longer interested in how long the human intestine is, you lean over and give him a little kiss. Being with Law is always a learning experience, the special thing is what you learn about Law along the way. About his heart and mind, while he talks about all the things that fascinate him.
Gosh, you adore him so much.
[throwback end]
Law's slight movement snaps you out of your reverie and for a moment you have the chance to slip out of his arms.
Silent as a ninja, you sneak out of your room and scurry into the kitchen.
Once in the kitchen, you can't wait another second and spoon up the dessert right in front of the fridge.
Whilst you let each scoop melt in your mouth, you hear footsteps coming closer to the kitchen. You try to hide, but it's too late because Bepo, who also wanted to sneak into the kitchen, enters.
You look at him like a frozen deer and he gives you a similar look. With your eyes still staring at the polar bear, you slowly bring the spoon to your mouth and devour the chocolate mousse. Without your eyes parting for even a second.
“What are you doing?” You leave the spoon in your mouth and look at him with a tilted head.
“Err, what does it look like…?” Your voice a little muffled, as if you were brushing your teeth. It's obvious what you're doing? With the bowl in your hand, you sit down at the table and wave the Mink over to you.
“Come on, get over here before the mousse is gone.” A little taken aback, he blinks a few times and joins you at the table.
Of course he wants some of the chocolate wonder, so he hurries to you.
You take turns spooning from your bowl and after each bite you hold your hand to your flushed cheek. It tastes simply divine.
However, you barely exchange a word, because it goes without saying that this meeting will remain a secret. You only hear a pleasurable moan and a soft mumble in between.
A few days have passed since then and a few other unusual things have happened. Your cravings have become a little weirder, your sense of smell has increased and fish suddenly no longer tastes good to you! As soon as you smelled sushi, you felt sick to your stomach. Unusual, you thought, but it could have been something else. You didn't think anything else of it and went about your everyday duties, quickly forgetting about the oddities anyway.
Until you got up one morning and ran straight to the toilet. You felt nauseous and it came out faster than you would have liked, so you left the door open and it gushed out of you straight into the toilet.
Your dinosaur like noises woke up the grouchy Law who rubbed his eyes in a drowsy state.
Who or what is that? And why is it so loud?
Law is definitely not a morning person. Talk to him before his coffee and you will see… Well, nothing will happen except that he ignores you and turns around. He won't even talk to you before he takes a sip, but no problem. Isn't it always like this; that a bright person is together with a grumpy one?
Tired, the black haired man sits up and runs his fingers through his tangled hair while still sitting on the edge of the bed with his eyes closed.
The noise is unusually loud and seems as if it is directly in the next room… In the next room… And finally it clicks in his head. You are making that noise.
Law snaps his eyes open, being fully awake now, and hurried to the open bathroom. There he looked down at you with your head almost IN the bowl, unable to stop vomiting.
At first he stood in the doorway, looking somewhat at a loss, until he finally remembered that he was a doctor.
You weren't responsive right now anyway… So Law prepared a few things for you when you finally finished throwing up…
Concerned, he stands behind you with a glass of water in his hand. It seems to be reaaally bad. He doesn't like seeing you like this, your health is important to him, probably more important than his own.
You've noticed for a while that Law is standing behind you and you appreciate him not saying anything. You're not embarrassed, not in front of Law, he's taken care of you before when you've drunk yourself into a coma so the sight shouldn't be that strange. You had to smile a little when you noticed how he tied your hair in a ponytail, so it wouldn't fall in front of your face, while you emptied out your stomach.
“Oh god. There shouldn't be *bleurggh* anything left in my *bleurggh* stomach…” A little out of breath, you lean against the wall next to the toilet.
You're not quite sure if it's the end, but it feels all right.
“I assume it's a little better now?” Tired from throwing up, you look up at him while he hands you the glass of water with a scrutinizing look.
You can't do more than nod half heartedly.
Law walked over to the toilet and flushed the contents, which looked like two days' worth of stomach contents.
He squatted down to you and began to clean your face with a lukewarm cloth. You don't look sick. Your eyelids don't droop and your skin doesn't look too pale. You just look a little worn out, which is no wonder. After all, you've given the toilet the biggest serenade of your life.
“I should take you to the infirmary and run some tests.” His hands reach for yours. With his thumb, he gently strokes the back of your hand and pulls lightly to help you to your feet. A little wobbly on your feet, you hold on to him and smile weakly at him.
“…I'm fine, thank you my love.” A little cold water on your face should be enough, so you go over to the sink to freshen up.
“Don't argue y/n, as your captain and doctor, I'm telling you that I'll give you a check up.” You look at him through the mirror as you run your wet hands through your face and roll your eyes.
“Uh huh, as captain and doctor…”
he groans a little and takes you in his arms from behind
“And as your partner too, of course.”
He kisses you on the cheek and you lean into his embrace with a little chuckle. For just a moment, you can savor your embrace, but the very next second, you find yourself in the same position with him in the infirmary.
That whole shambling around doesn't do you any good at all, you were already feeling sick anyway and you always feel a bit dizzy when he teleports with you. You put your hand over your mouth but it's too late. You quickly rush to a garbage can and fill it with your vomit.
“Hah… Law, that wasn't so clever…” You lean on the bin with both hands as you kneel in front of it.
“Ah…uh…sorry, force of habit…” His words seem a little flustered and as you look over your shoulder you see him sheepishly stroke his beard.
Yep, force of habit… It's definitely not the first time he's teleported you somewhere. Whether he wanted to kidnap you in your busy routine or wanted to steal you away from annoying guys.
He can be a bit jealous sometimes, even if he doesn't say anything, you can see right through him. Honestly, you have to admit to yourself that you enjoy it perhaps a little too much. Law usually reacts rather passively, but at some point things start to get over his limit and he reacts, somewhat flashily…
[throwback]
It's a lovely afternoon on the Sunny, and before you went your separate ways, the Heart Pirates and the Straw Hats wanted to throw a nice party to celebrate your victory.
You had a good time together and formed strong friendships, it makes you a little sad that you won't see each other for a while… but you are sure that your paths will cross again soon.
You keep glancing back to where Law is drinking some sake with Zoro, while Usopp and Luffy were doing all sorts of silly things. You can't help giggling at the sight. Their conversations are also rather short, but somehow they both seem quite relaxed and enjoy the silence between them. Your sweet introvert…
You turn back to the ladies at the table and get into a conversation full of girl stuff and laughter. Right by your side, there's Bepo napping on the floor and while your chin rests in one hand, listening to Nami, you pat Bepo's head with the other.
At your service is none other than Sanji and he serves you with the most distinguished manners. You like Sanji, he is charming and knows how to talk to women and sometimes you allow yourself to have fun and go for it… You don't flirt back, no way! You're crazy about Law and everyone knows it, but you like to have a bit of fun.
“Here my beautiful ladies, I've allowed myself to prepare your favorite drinks.” With grace and style, he holds the tray in his hand and serves you some fresh drinks. He pushes a beautifully decorated cocktail glass in front of you, one with a light blue liquid, topped with whipped cream and blue glitter sprinkles.
You know exactly what kind of drink is in front of you and happily thank the Blondie. How thoughtful he is… he's made you your favorite drink; swimming pool!
You gleefully nip at the straw and let the refreshing drink run down your tongue. As you spoon down some of the cream, you notice that Sanji has used coconut milk ice cubes instead of water ice cubes. How creative! This way the drink doesn't get watered down and only gets creamier and that's exactly how you love your swimming pool - creamy!
“Aww Sanji, you're always so thoughtful and good to us!” With your eyes closed, you enjoy your drink. It's so well prepared that you can barely taste the alcohol; how dangerous.
With your hand on your cheek, you praise the cocktail. Nami gushes with you and sighs contentedly that this is her everyday life... and Sanji loves doing it! That's the best part.
“We're really lucky to have Sanji, aren't we?” Robin giggles, as Sanji loses his temper in a dramatic way. It's as if all the attention is making his heart leap through his chest, and on one knee he babbles something about how it's not just an honor to serve you, but his greatest joy.
He may be a little pushy but isn't he also a little funny? Your girl gang bursts out into laughter, oh dear, if you only knew how Law watches the spectacle from behind with an annoyed expression…
With his chin in his hand, Law taps his cheek a little impatiently with one finger. He can hit on whoever he wants, but does he always have to get so close to you? He's got Nami and Robin to ogle, but you're his!
He knows he doesn't have to be jealous. You're only being friendly to him, as you are to everyone, but the reaction of others is what annoys him. The fact that some people think you're flirting with them, when you're just very kind and approachable (yea guess who's not.) literally pisses Law off.
He is quite sure that no one but himself has a chance with you, in fact he knows that you can become quite different if someone crosses your line… If Law's line hasn't been crossed before… It's pretty different sometimes…
Like today for example, today Law doesn't have that much patience and since Sanji moves in your inner circle, his limits are crossed quite quickly. And maybe all that sake is also to blame.
Because of your lively conversation, you realize far too late, how Law has formed his blue dome over you and just as Nami remarks it, you find yourself already on Law's lap.
Bewildered, you look up at him while his gaze is somewhat serious on Sanji. When he felt your gaze on him, he looked you in the eye with his typical grin and spoke with an absolute calmness that made your heart flutter.
“You all right?” You widen your eyes a little and raise both eyebrows. Is he serious? As if it's such a normal thing to just teleport me onto his lap out of nowhere, like it's the most normal thing in the world.
You know exactly why he did it. You saw the look he gave Sanji, but okay, you just play along. Let's see what happens.
“Yes, of course. Do you need something, love?”
He comes a little closer to you, his gaze melts the ice in your drink because you're getting so hot, but you try not to show it and smile at him innocently.
Before he reaches for the straw, he looks provocatively over to Sanji and drinks from your cocktail.
“You talked so highly of it, I really wanted to try it too, you know?” - “Sure…” like hypnotized you watch him sip from your drink while his eyes rest on your lips.
“You've got some whipped cream on your lip…” you want to quickly wipe the cream away with your hand but Law holds it tight and speaks in a low mellow voice "no, let me..."
Barely a second later, his lips are already on yours and he licks the cream off your lips in a luscious kiss.
You didn't even realize what was happening to you as you sat frozen on his lap. You can only vaguely make out the annoyed murmur of Zoro telling you to get a room or Nami cheering joyfully. You slowly come back to your senses and lean close to his ear, to whisper a few sweet words…
“I love sweet kisses… how 'bout we continue on the Polar Tang?”
Honestly, you love the way Law steals you away. He doesn't do it in an aggressive way, but in a way that makes it clear who you belong to. He never confronts the others, he just shows how in love you are with each other.
If that's not territory marking then you don't know BUT you love it.
His reaction is as expected. You know that look all too well. There's something overwhelming about the way Law's beautiful eyes run over your face as you innocently bite your lip. You could swear his eyes darken and he runs his tongue over his lower lip with a grin.
His grip tightens and his laugh deepens so that you can feel the vibration of his voice.
“Good idea.” He places a small kiss on your cheek before saying goodbye to the others. The question marks are written all over your face. You really just wanted to tease him, but you could have guessed what is about to happen.
You barely managed to wave goodbye before you found yourself back in your room on the Polar Tang. And well, you know it's obvious what will happens next… ;)
[throwback end]
“All right, so far so good. Now just a small blood check and then we'll be on the safe side.” His words bring you out of your memory and you look at his back. At a small table, he prepares a syringe to take some of your blood.
With concentration, he turns around and traces along your arm to locate a suitable vein.
“Could you make a fist?” You do as he says and he nods in response. When he had found a suitable spot, you were allowed to relax your hand and he smoothly drew the blood into the tube.
You watch him in complete devotion as he looks attentively at the syringe. Your eyes meet for a moment before he quickly returns to his task and presses a band aid onto the needle mark.
“That's it.” Again, he turns away from you to dispose the materials properly. A little disappointed, you slide down with your butt from the stretcher. You wish you could have watched him a little longer. He always looks so handsome when he's fully concentrated on his work.
“When will the results be ready?” you ask curiously as you look over his shoulder. By now you're feeling much better, you're sure it's nothing serious.
“Give me a few hours and I should have something out.” - “Hardworking as ever.” You gently stroke his shoulder as you went to turn around and Law quickly reached for your hand.
He gently pulls you close to give you a kiss on the back of your hand, his eyes always have a powerful effect on you and your cheeks turn a soft pink.
“We should go for breakfast, you should regain your energy. Go ahead, I'll clean up and come straight away.” Your heart softens at his care.
“I'll make us some coffee then.” Satisfied, he nods at you and lets go. In a good mood, you walk along the corridors of the cold Polar Tang, humming a bright melody.
The day went on as usual, the work on the Polar Tang was pure routine. A few small repairs here and inspections there. Nothing out of the ordinary. Just as you were about to leave the engine room to write your report, you bump into your friend.
“Heyyy y/n, already done with work?” You look up from your notes and have a chat with Ikkaku. After an waaay too short talk, you part ways as her beeper has gone off and she quickly went back to work. Apparently she has a lot to do... Your eyes go back to your list. You need to talk to Law, because you're slowly running out of materials for the maintenance of your submarine.
You've been underwater for quite a while now and you should be ascending soon. Ikkaku could probably use some materials too, maybe you should do a general inventory and make a supply list with Law. Just as you were about to turn around to go to Ikkaku to start with her, your beeper sounds.
A quick glance at your black device tells you that Law wants to talk to you, so you turn around again.
So, then you'll start the list tomorrow. After all, you'll be traveling for a few more days before you reach the next island...
You can't quite believe your ears and you stand in front of Law with your mouth open, completely frozen. Your pretty brain has to process this information first. You actually want to say something but don't quite know how to start the sentence.
“Y-you say I'm pregnant?!!!” You automatically reach for your belly.
“How could this happen?!” you look up at Law, unsure of how you should feel. To be honest, you're a little overwhelmed, but it's not actually a bad thing. You're actually at the age where it's appropriate, aren't you?
Law, who is leaning against his table in front of you, takes a breath to explain to you HOW this could have happened, in a physical and medical sense.
With knitted eyebrows, you shake your hand in front of Law in order to stop him. You know how, but somehow you're surprised. You often hear that the birth control failed here and there and the woman got pregnant, but somehow you think it would never happen to you and now it's happened to you.
Surprise, surprise.
You drop into a chair and look a little defeated.
“Shit…” you mutter. Law takes the results of your blood report and tries to change the subject.
“But hey, judging by your results, you're perfectly healthy and have the best possible condition for the baby." He turns the page to check a few more things.
“We should probably just get some more sun and fresh air for your wellbeing. Your vitamin D levels are a little low… No wonder down here…” In his head, he makes a mental note to talk to Bepo and Hakugan about surfacing today.
That sounds as if…
“Do you want me to keep the child?” You look up at him, a little surprised. A pleasant excitement spreads through your chest at the thought that Law will be the father of your child.
His eyes peek over the edge of the paper, looking down at you. He examines your glazed eyes, places the papers on the table and crouches down in front of you to be closer to you.
“Do you want to keep the child, y/n?” he notices that you're a little unsure, but that's okay. That's normal... but he will follow your final decision. No matter what you decide, he will stand by you and make sure you are both safe and happy.
Somehow it all feels surreal. You and Law are having a baby. That will change everything now, but you're longing to find out what it's like. You shrug your shoulders a little sheepishly.
“Uh-huh… kind of, yea.” Somewhat embarrassed, you smile at him. For you, getting together with Law has always been like hitting the jackpot, but you'd never thought about you two becoming parents.
But dear, if you only knew how Law sees you… He'd be lying if he said he wasn't happy about becoming a dad, but right now you're coming first, since you're feeling 'a little under the water'. [sorry but I couldn't help myself, lol]
“Well, I guess we have something to celebrate, don't we?“
Law's grin makes you smile. Somehow he always pushes the right buttons with you. With his charming looks, his cunning manner and clever little head, he always manages to mess with your feelings. You've never felt this way about anyone before and you weren't exactly a virgin before… Now that you're becoming parents, you feel like you're starting to really mature with Law.
“How are we going to tell them?” Parties are not his thing, you know that, but as soon as the others find out, they want to throw a party anyway.
He seems to be thinking deeply as he plays with your fingers.
“Maybe we'll just throw a party…” you look down at him in surprise, but he explains why.
“I know for a fact that we won't be able to avoid it…” a small giggle slips out of your mouth and you gently squeeze his hand, but Law breaks your eye contact.
“Well, I won't be able to get around it…” You're never against a fun party, but after an hour Law's social battery is usually drained and he disappears into his study.
“Not a bad idea, actually. If we plan the party, we can be sure that it won't be too chaotic. Let's keep it simple.” Law is pleased that you share the same thought. Well, it's probably because you can't party as hard as usual, but it doesn't make you sad. Somehow the joy slowly sets in.
Law gets up and pulls you up with him while you both hold hands. Without saying a word, he takes you in his arms and you breathe in his calming scent. At this very moment you just feel so good, even though you were so scattered until a few moments ago, you are sure that everything will work out with Law by your side.
You're kind of excited. The crew thinks you're throwing a party because you're resurfacing today and they believe that cheap lie, but what pirate crew needs a reason to throw a party? They probably don't give it a second thought and are happy to have food and booze under the sun.
In a good mood, you hum a little tune in the kitchen while you prepare a few treats in the kitchen. At some point, Shachi comes by and you tell him that he shouldn't be snacking, but he just laughs cheekily at you and stuffs a filled onigiri into your mouth. You hum contentedly as you taste the tuna cream.
“You're getting better and better y/n, the shape is a real triangle this time too!” you smack him on the back of the head and huff in offense.
He's used to it and your blows don't even really hurt so he just laughs as he rubs his head.
“I'm sure Law will be more than pleased.” Without a care in the world, he picks another treat from the little buffet you've set up and disappears into the corridor.
Your gaze rests on your bitten onigiri. You are secretly thrilled that he thinks Law will be happy. You wonder if he is looking forward to your current situation in general.
After you surfaced with the Polar Tang, Law and a few others set up the deck. Tables and benches were set up and you and Ikkaku hung up some hanging garlands to make it look more festive. After putting the finishing details on the final appearance, you put your hands on your hips in satisfaction while Law stepped to your side.
“They really don't suspect anything…” he whispers in your ear.
You just smile to yourself. After all, it just seems like you're having a party as usual. The buffet, the decorations, the festive lights and a small bar on the deck are just the same as usual.
Law doesn't know it, but you couldn't help yourself and had to tell Ikkaku about it immediately. After all, she's your best friend. You can definitely trust her not to spill the beans and it shouldn't be too difficult because you're throwing the party today anyway. She even offered to prepare a few desserts. With hearts in your eyes, you accepted her offer, of course.
All in all, it was an evening like any other with your crew. There was laughter, some dancing, a lot of goofing around and singing. Avoiding the alcohol was quite difficult, but luckily Ikkaku was your knight in shining armor. She always swapped your cup with hers, with only water inside, in an discreet fashion.
As the sunset glowed over your submarine and the atmosphere on deck calmed down allowing everyone to enjoy the last rays of sunshine, Law decided that now was the perfect time to spread the news.
He raised his glass and tapped it lightly with his fork so that everyone's attention was drawn to him by the clinking sound.
A few of the pirates look up at him in surprise. It's not that unusual for Law to make a speech from time to time, but there shouldn't be any special reason for him to make one today. Or maybe there is?
Glances go round among themselves. You smile knowingly to yourself as you watch the confusion on their faces.
“Sometimes there are unexpected twists and turns on our travels and sometimes it's the best thing that could have happened to us. In the end, everything always turned out well and that's only because we trusted and helped each other. We may be pirates, but we are also…” - “A FAMILY” Penguin and Sachi cry and shout in unison.
Law's words are unexpectedly touching. His words are always wise and uplifting… but this time he not only speaks from the heart, but with it and everyone is moved to the core.
You could cry because you know why he uses such beautiful words. With a satisfied grin, he agrees with the men.
“Exactly. We are a family and today y/n and I want to announce something to you.” Little by little, questioning glances wander to you and Law nods to you with an encouraging expression on his face. He now leaves you the honor of continuing.
“I'm pregnant!” you blurt out in a squeaky voice.
The looks go back and forth between you two in a rather funny way while the surprise is written all over everyone's face.
All of a sudden, the group erupts into a joyful roar and congratulations are given to you. Ikkaku can finally take you in her arms, her eyes overflowing with tears. A few of the men are shaking hands with Law while Bepo rushes up to Law and almost crushes him in a hug.
Your heart bursts as you watch the cheering crowd and stroke Ikkaku's back in a soothing manner as she utters some incomprehensible words of joy…
In the chaotic happiness, your and Law's eyes met. He seems as happy as you feel.
The atmosphere were already great before, but now it's just amazing.
They raise a toast to both of you and your little one, while Penguin and Shachi fight over which of them gets to listen and feel your belly first. You have to laugh at their goofiness, because there's not much of the typical pregnancy belly to be seen yet.
Bepo comes running towards you with cute beady eyes and gives you a warm embrace. He snuggles up to your head and you brush against his soft fur…
You hear his soft sniffle and in a low voice he whispers to you how happy he is for you guys.
“You're going to be great parents!” You wipe a small tear of joy from his face and pull yourself together so that you don't burst into tears yourself, but you're just too emotional. Your walls collapse and the tears roll down your cheeks.
The rest of the gang decides to come up to you and engages even Law in a huge group hug. It touches you more than anything how happy your friends are for you.
You can hardly wait to tell your friends the Straw Hats. You wonder how they will react. You secretly hope that it will be the reason you'll see each other sooner than you thought.
You really want to go shopping with Ikkaku, Robin and Nami for the baby!
You let the evening fade away together until at some point it was just you and Law.
The evening got a bit chilly and before you could even get cold, Law put his coat around you. Thanking him with a quiet smile, you can still see the joy on his face… And you? You can still hardly believe it. You're going to be parents… but you're still thinking about how Law really feels. He's obviously happy but you wish you could hear what he's thinking.
“Law, tell me, how do you feel?” Your eyes are fixed on the sea. You watch the glittering reflection of the moon in the water, while his gaze rests on you.
“I don't know. I kind of feel everything. Excitement, joy but also some fear.” Your gaze quickly goes up to him, but his eyes are now on the open sea.
The fact that he feels the same as you is somehow reassuring. You're a bit jealous of him for always keeping such a cool head, because unlike you, he seemed so calm and confident the whole time.
“You know y/n, when I went through the results today I could hardly believe my eyes when I realized why you were feeling bad.” With his arms leaning against the railing, he smiled down at you.
“I thought my heart stopped working and when it started beating again, a new feeling was born...” The glimmer in his eyes is as calming as a fire, that is about to fade out.
You are not used to so many touching words and your heart starts beating quicker with each word. The way he says everything is saved in your brain like a video and you dare not to speak a word.
He turns his upper body towards you and moves a little closer to gently brush a strand of hair out of your face. A little hesitantly, he begins to speak again, as if searching for the right words in your eyes.
“A feeling... that I thought I had long lost… The feeling of having a family.”
Okay y/n don't cry. Don't cry!
Law kisses your forehead as he wipes a tear from your face. The feeling of his warm lips disappears faster than you'd like, though, and Law takes a step back to get down on one knee.
With his gaze fixed on your eyes, he reaches into his pocket and pulls out a small box. You know what this means but you fail to move or say anything. Wide eyed, you follow Law's movements.
“I wanted to do this much earlier… but somehow I didn't find the right time… or maybe I was just waiting for this very moment?” Law isn't quite sure himself where he gets these words from, but so much has changed after today. He opens the box and your gaze falls on the sparkling ring.
“Y/n will you marry me?”
With quivering lips, you nod at him while tears flow like a waterfall and you throw yourself onto him, wrapping your arms around his neck.
You usually have a lot to say, but this time Law has left you completely speechless.
You could have said yes a thousand times but it would never be enough to make it clear how much you want to be his wife.
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A/N: Oh well… Law. I bet you'd be great as a dad.
I hope you enjoyed it ♡
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raya-hunter01 · 1 day
Text
Not My Sister's Keeper Pt 1 & 2
Roman X OC(Kara)
Jey Uso X OC (Tia)
Rating: 18+
Warning: Smut; sex, fluff, couple arguing, Jealousy, infidelity, pregnancy
Roamn’s wife recently left medical school and returned home to save her marriage and travel with him on the road. Upon her return, she finds out things are not what they seem. Her sister is pregnant by her best friend Jey Uso, who is also Roman’s cousin, and her husband is acting suspicious.
What happens when a conversation overhead on a baby monitor blows her world apart?
This first chapter. I posted the ending of the chapter for the seven-sentence challenge.
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Pensacola, Fl
Roman's House
Kara's POV
“What’s wrong baby?” I asked my husband Roman as he seemed to be zoning in and out.
“Nothin, I just heard you talking to Terry this morning and I know you miss your friends out there in Boston. I feel like I forced your hand, and I don’t want you to regret your decision to come home.
“Why would I do that, I missed you too and we both agreed on it.”  
“Kara, I’m gone so much, and I don’t want you to look back and regret coming back. I should have made it a priority to come out more to see you,” Roman said as I caressed his face.
“Babe, I could never regret coming back. I did this for us and our family that we’re building. That means more to me than medical school. I can go back when your schedule is lighter,” I reassured him as he sighed.
“I just hate you had to leave, but I promise within the next two years my schedule will be lighter, and we can get a house out there so you can finish school. You have my word, I promise,” Roman said making me smile at the thought of us getting a house in Boston so I could continue school.
“I’m going to hold you to that,” I whispered as our lips met in a passionate kiss.
The past year had been hard on us, previously I had been traveling with Roman on the road. I loved it and I even had a job that allowed me to work from home.  Still with the perfect schedule I longed for more, so I accepted a scholarship to continue my education in studying medicine at Harvard Medical school. 
At first, Roman was supportive and even stood up to my family about me moving to Boston but then the distance began to cause a heavy strain on our marriage.
We would argue more, he became distant almost resentful that I wasn’t on the road with him anymore or at least in Pensacola waiting for him to come home. 
I didn’t see why he just couldn’t be happy and come see me more. That last argument we had when I was in Boston was an eye opener, I was going to lose my husband if we couldn’t find a solution.
-----
Four months Earlier
Boston Massachusetts
Kara’s Condo
“We’re going to have to make a decision, because this isn’t working babe,” Roman said as I felt my heart drop as we calmed down from our weekly facetime sex session.
 “So, what are you saying? Like get a divorce? Are you seeing someone ele.”
“Kara, I would never, I’m just sayin’ this is getting to be too much.”
“Why can’t you just come out here more on your off days like we agreed. I mean we started off good then all of sudden visits became few and far in between,” I said as Roman frowned sitting up in bed pulling the comforter over his waist.
“I know what we agreed, but I got more stuff on my plate now baby. I can’t help that and then I have stuff to take care of things here in Pensacola when I’m off,” Roman said as I nodded in understanding wiping my tears as he looked at me sadly.
Ugh, Facetime was not the way I wanted to discuss this. We needed to talk in person.
“I swear I’m not saying this to make you cry, baby. Please don’t cry, I’m sorry, ok,” Roman pleaded as I tried to gather myself, sitting up and grabbing my phone.
“No, you have a right to say how you feel, and I understand it,” I whispered as he pinched the bridge of his nose.
“Kara, I’m just frustrated and miss you so fuckin’ much. We gotta work something out because I can’t take much more of this, especially coming home to an empty house” he whispered as I wiped my tears.
“I miss you too……. We’ll figure something out….I promise.”
The rest as they say is history, a few days later I left medical school behind and surprised Roman by joining him on the road and never went back to school.
Being back on the road with him and in our routine felt good. I knew I was where I belonged, and I felt safe wrapped up in his arms, but I also knew deep in my gut something was wrong, I just didn’t know what.
I couldn’t worry about that today though, it was an important day for Jey and my sister.
“We need to get dressed, babe,” I said stealing one last kiss as Roman caressed my stomach.
“A’ight but I’m ready for this to be over so we can come home and work on our own family,” he whispered in my neck as I blushed.
I truly did love this man and I couldn’t wait to have babies and more babies with him.
------
Tia’s Baby Shower
Kara’s POV
“How are you feeling, sis?”
“I’m feeling very loved,” Tia said rubbing her stomach as I smiled. “We do love you, especially Jey,” I said as Tia looked around nervously.
“Yea, I love my child’s father too,” she said rubbing her stomach, her use of the words felt almost like she was trying to hint about something.
I already knew Jey was the father so what was that about?
Looking at her it seems she in nervous but somewhat happy so I shrugged off her words.
“I can’t thank you enough for this, Kara. It really means a lot to me,” Tia said as I gave her a hug trying to overcome the tension behind us.
“Hey, stop thanking me, I just wanted to throw you my big sister a baby shower. I mean my niece is on the way,” I said as she laughed but her smile didn’t quite reach her eyes.
The dynamics of my family at times could be explosive at times, my parents though married seemed to be just tolerating each other.
For most of our lives my sister and I never got along, and my poor baby brother was always stuck in the middle of it.  
I think the relationship with Jey is a dig at me if I’m being honest. She knew I used to have a crush on him but we both agreed we didn’t want to cross the line and jeopardize our friendship.
Tia acted like she couldn’t stand Jey for all these years and then all of a sudden, she took an interest in him about ten months ago. Then a couple weeks later announces she’s pregnant with his baby.
 I think myy sister’s pregnancy was actually the boost I think we all needed to try to be a somewhat functioning family.
I would say today was a success as our family and friends got together to celebrate the pending arrival of my niece.
“Bae, I’m heading to Gram's to get her gifts,” Jey said sticking his head around the corner as Roman walked around him.
“Go ahead, Uce, I’ll help Tia put everything in the nursery,” he said as Tia avoided making eye contact with Jey and was looking at my husband with a smile.
“Oh, that would be nice, my sister is so lucky to have you,” she said as Roman looked nervous, rubbing the back of his neck.
What the hell is going on?
“Uh, well it’s my pleasure to help. I mean we are family after all.”
Trying to shake off the awkwardness, I decided to change the subject. “I guess ya’ll can start and I’ll put my pots back in the car, then help ya’ll,” I said as Roman shook his head.
“Nah, I got it, you did enough today. This will only take a second. You can go ahead, and head home, I’ll will meet you there,” he said giving me a hug as I smiled.
Roman was always so caring and loving. His soft lips against mine made me excited for what was to come later.
“I’ll see you at home,” I whispered against his lip he nodded.
“I Can’t wait to get home and take this dress off-”
 Tia cleared her throat as I blushed. “Sorry, I’ll see you in the morning, Tia.”
“I’ll call you later, and thanks for lending Roman to do this heavy lifting,” she joked as I saw Roman was seemingly in another world, avoiding her gaze.
Roman’s POV
“Always Ms. Perfect, I know I’m better than her,” I heard Tia mumble under her breath.
I felt my anger rising as Tia slick threw shots at Kara under her breath. Matter of fact, she had been throwing shots all day.
“What the fuck is your problem?!” I yelled as soon as Kara left, causing Tia to smirk.
“What are you talking about, I don’t have a problem, baby,” she chuckled as I snarled.
 “First off, I ain’t your baby and you know what you been doing all day to Kara.
“Oh, God forbid anyone upsets Kara. Oh, you so concerned about her now, but you damn sure wasn'’t when you were fuckin’ me,” she hissed stalking off upstairs as I growled snatching a few gifts off the table and following her.
“Look, I fucked up, and we slept together a few times. Stop trying to make it seem like it was some big love affair. I love Kara and that will never change I said as we walked into the nursery.
“A fuck up is one time, we slept together I know at least six times stop trying to lessen the blow of your actions and own it. I came on to you, and you took everything I had to give,’ Tia said smirking at my uneasiness.
“Look, I love my wife-”
“Yet, you were fucking me…. Her sister, and your cousin’s girlfriend.
“Ok, now that’s bullshit in itself, now you wanna act high and mighty. You only got with Jey to cover yo’ ass; he thinks he got you pregnant off of a one-night stand.”
“I wanted and still want to be with you, but you want her!  What was I supposed to do!” Tia yelled, frustrating me even more.
“Not bring other people into this shit and play with their feelings!”
“I ain’t playin’ with his feelings, I do love Jey,” she said as I scoffed at the bullshit she was spewing.
“Don’t do that shit Roman, we both agreed it was best if he and I raised the baby. You want to be with Kara, right?”
“No, you decided that shit, all by yourself and Jey doesn’t deserve this no more than Kara does!” I shouted trying to get my point across.
“So, what are you sayin? You got a conscious now!” Tia hissed as I growled.
“I’m sayin’ that I’m over this shit, and I’m telling Kara!”
“You really ready to risk losing everything now?!  We both Know Kara will leave you if she finds out.
“I have to tell her-”
“Look, I’m trying to compromise here. Just give me stipend and be a loving uncle to this baby. I promise you can see her whenever you like or say the word and we can be a family together.”
“I’m not her uncle, I’m her father, and even if I lose everything, we aren’t going to be together, Tia. We can co-parent,” I said laying it all out on the line.
“I’ve accepted that, why do you think I’m with Jey. Now you wanna fuck that up for me,” Tia whispered as I felt even more guilty.
We shouldn’t even be discussing this shit now, but it was like we couldn’t stop. It had been a long time since we had been able to talk alone besides on the phone when Kara or Jey weren’t around.
----
Kara’s POV
“Damn, how the hell did I leave my purse?” I muttered walking back inside my sister’s living room, retrieving it.
“You know Kara means the world to me,” I heard Roman say as I smiled picking up the baby monitor, listening to him talk to my sister as they put away some of her baby shower gifts in the nursery; “And I love Jey, that’s why neither one of them can find out you’re the father of this baby.
The silence after Tia's statement defining.
"F-Father," I gasped in shock trying to catch my breath as I waited to hear Roman deny Tia's claim, but it didn't come...Just silence.
I couldn’t breathe, it was as if those words seemed to be stuck on repeat in my mind and it wouldn't stop. “You’re the father of this baby.”
My eyes widened in horror as I lost my footing, collapsing onto the floor, looking at the baby monitor's red lights flashing.
Roman was the father of my sister’s baby.
“Jey is going to find out sooner or later and so is Kara. They ain’t dumb!” Roman hissed as I felt like I wanted to vomit, my breathing shallow as I tried to process what was happening.
“Aye, Tia, I’m back!” I heard Jey yell as I snapped out of the daze I was stuck in and ran out the back door, trying to avoid him.
Jey’s POV
"Tia, I said i'm back!" I shouted looking around the living room, seeing alot of the gifts still around the living room.
“I see that you are,” Tia said appearing at the top of the stairs, as I frowned at her nervousness.
“Why you look so nervous?" I asked sitting down her gift from my grandmother.
 “Roman, Jey’s back!” she yelled, ignoring my question as I heard her voice echo.
“What the hell was that?” I asked as Tia smiled, coming downstairs.
“It’s one of the baby monitors, mama turned it on earlier to show us how it worked. The other one is in the nursery, that’s the echo you heard.” she said as I nodded in understanding.
“Oh, that’s cool we need that for when we need some alone time so we can still hear lil mama in her room,” I said as she laughed.
“You are so silly,” she whispered as I looked around for Kara.  “Kara still here? I need to talk to her about something, I saw her car out front,” I said as Tia shook her head.
 “No, Roman sent her home, matter fact she should be there by now,” Tia said walking over to look out the front door.
“Bae, I’m telling you, I saw her car just a second ago.”
“Are you sure it was her car, it’s not there now,” Tia said as I frowned. “Many times, I done rode in that car, I know my best friend’s car Tia,” I said annoyed at her assumption that I didn’t know what I saw.
“Maybe she had forgot something,” Tia said as I tried to shake the feeling, she was hiding something as Roman finally joined us downstairs.
“Since you back Jey, I’mma head out. Kara is waiting for me at home,” Roman said as I smiled.
“Uce, ya’ll probably will get home at the same time. I just saw her car parked out front,” I said as Roman’s smile dropped.
“Huh, Kara left bout thirty minutes ago,” Roman said looking at his watch as I shrugged my shoulders.
Nah, try five minutes ago, give or take," I said as Tia looked worried.
“Was her car where she parked earlier?” Roman asked as I shook my head.
“No, she was parked out by the street.”
Roman seemed to go white as a ghost and Tia began pacing.
“Uh, I’ll leave ya’ll alone, I need to get home,” Roman said as I followed him to the door. He seemed to be antsy and dare, I say scared.
“Let me me walk you out, Uce.”
“Nah, I’ll see you later fam, I got it,” Roman said walking to his truck as I closed the door.
Damn what had him spooked?
Kara’s POV
I knew I couldn’t go home, if I did, I would kill him…I really would kill him. I parked down the street from my parents and then made my way to their guest house. I didn’t want anyone to see me, not right now.
I was falling apart and needed time to think, this couldn’t be happening it seemed like the minute I closed the door the dam broke as I screamed breaking down in tears sliding down the wall.
“Why him?” I cried overwhelmed by the betrayal of my husband and my sister. The darkness surrounding me, only visible light was from my phone as Roman and Tia had been blowing my phone up.
Not knowing or caring which one it was I accepted the call just wanting the ringing to stop.
“Sis, is that you? Roman has been trying to call you, he’s worried, you weren’t home when he got-.”
 Ending the call without saying a word, I thew the phone hard as I could against the mirror on my parents’ wall. Almost feeling a sense of satisfaction as it shattered into tiny pieces just like my heart had .
“Sis?” I laughed at the gall wiping my tears… “You ain’t no sister of mine,” I whispered, my heart straining against my chest as I tried to control my breathing.
 Every look, nervous movements and awkward exchanges between them played over and over in my mind.
“Sweetie, are you ok? I saw you come back her and I heard a crash,” my mom said coming into the guesthouse, turning on the lights as I scurried to the corner pulling my knees to my chest whipping my tears.
“I’m fine mama, can you please leave,” I whispered as she gasped at my current state.
“Bill! Get in here!” my mother yelled as I shook my head. I didn’t want to talk about it; I knew if I did the tears would come harder.
“Mama, I just want to be alone, please,” I sniffed as she came over to me. “Who hurt you baby?” she whispered kneeling down, taking me in her arms as I sobbed my heart out.
“What the hell is going on?!” my father bellowed coming in seeing my mother and I on the floor, locked in a comforting embrace and the glass on the floor.
“Don’t freak her out, calm down Bill, we don’t even know what’s wrong.”
“Well, something fuckin’ happened Rebecca, and I want to know what it is. She in here breaking mirrors and hysterical,” he said as mother sighed pulling out her phone.
“Maybe Tia can tell me, let me call her-”
“Don’t! Don’t ever call her asking her nothing about me!” I screamed hysterically as my mother looked at me in shock.
I jerked away, her touch scorching my skin. Hurrying to my feet, trying to make my exit, but my dad stood in the way.
“This is not like you sweetie. What happened?” my mom asked, rubbing my shoulders as my father and her tried to calm me down.
“Kara, what is going on baby, did something happen between you and your sister?”
“Dad, please just drop it, ok,” I pleaded retrieving my phone, and wiping my tears.
“Let’s give her a little space to breathe Bill,” my mom whispered as I felt myself losing it slowly but surely.
Hearing a car pull in the driveway I went back into flight or fight mode. “Dad, please move, I need to go,” I pleaded as he stood steadfast, unmovable.
“Baby I can’t let you drive like this, let’s just sit down and talk” he suggested as I shook my head.
“I don’t feel like talking daddy,” I said as my mom sighed.
“Dad?! Mom?! We’re here to pick up the crib!” I heard Tia shout my blood ran cold.
The crib we slept in as kids….That crib?
“We’re in here baby,” my mom called out as I cringed as Tia and Jey in came in the guesthouse.
“Aye, you ok Kara?” Jey asked taking in my appearance. I didn’t even care how I looked right now; my eyes were focused on Tia who looked scared to death.
“Maybe we should come back Jey,” she whispered trying to get a feel of what was going on.
“No, I’m good, come in,” I said as she sighed in relief, thinking her secret was still safe.
“Mom, dad, can you leave? I need to talk Tia,” I said as my dad looked between us unsure of my request but threw his hands up.
“Fine, let’s go up to the main house Rebecca and let the girls talk.”
“I think we should stay Bill; something is wrong.”
“Nothing is wrong mama,” Tia said as I nodded my head in agreement.
 “It’s right as rain,” I added as my dad sighed.
“Least she’s willing to talk to Tia, let’s let them talk,” he said ushering my mom out of the room.
“What did you do Tia?” my mom asked as Tia lowered her head in shame as dad closed the door behind them.
“Do you need me to leave Kara?” Jey asked as I shook my head no.
“No, it involves you just as much as it does me,” I whispered as he caressed my shoulder.
“What happened baby girl?” he asked as I looked at Tia trying to see if she would confess but she just stood there as if nothing was wrong.
Jey had to know, I know it wasn’t my place, but he needed to know.
“Girl, you had Roman worried and so was I when he told me you weren’t home. I’m so glad you were here and safe. We thought something had happened to you,” she said as I chuckled at her weak attempt to change the subject.
“Oh, I’m fine….I just needed some time to process some stuff. The problem with that is I only ended up having more questions and I know you know the answers,” I whispered as Jey looked at me confused.
“Questions about what Kara?” Jey asked, looking between Tia and I, picking up on undeniable tension.
“Jey, can you leave Kara and I alone to ta-”
“Jey, stay because I know you’re going to want to know the answers to these questions too.”
"Jey, please leave us,” Tia whispered.
"When were you going to tell me that not only has you been FUCKING my husband, but you're carrying his baby?" I asked calmly as Tia gripped the counter trying to steady herself.
You could hear a pin drop as Jey looked at Tia for any sign of truth to my words.
“Wh…W..What are you talking about Kara?” Tia stuttered as I scoffed at the deer caught in the headlights look on her face.
“Tia, what is Kara talking about?” Jey asked, my heart truly went out to my best friend. He deserved the world, but he always chose the wrong ones to love.
“I don’t know Jey, she isn’t thinking clearly,” Tia said as I rolled my eyes.
“Tia! Words of advice, when you are confessing your dirt and playing God with someone else’s life, make sure the baby monitors aren’t on, projecting your conversations throughout the fuckin’ house, dumb ass!” I hissed as she covered her mouth in shock.
“Ok, let’s calm down lau pele, talk to me, because you ain’t makin’  no sense right now,” Jey said gently pulling me to him.
“I’m sorry Jey, but that isn’t your baby,” I whispered as Tia began sobbing.
“Jey, I can explain-”
“Logan is my daughter, what you sayin to me’?”  he asked, looking between Tia and I, his eyes full of tears.
“Tell him…For once in your miserable life, tell the truth,” I said truly done with the lies.
“Jey, Just listen-”
“Is she mine?” Jey whispered walking closer to Tia as she began to figet wrapping her arms around herself.
“Jey, please, baby-”
“Is she mine, damn it!" Jey screamed as I jumped at the anger and hurt in his voice.
"No!...She’s Roman’s” she whimpered as Jey trembled with anger.
“I am so sorry,” I whispered as he pinched his nose trying to stop his tears from falling but to no avail and began pacing.
“It ain’t yo’ fault Kara…. I shoulda' known betta right? He asked, my heart breaking for him.
“I…..I didn’t mean for it to happen, Kara was gone, Roman and I were spending more time together on the road and it just happened.”
“So, in other words when I was gone, you made a move on him,” I said as she sighed.
“Look you left him, and he needed somebody.”
“How could you do that to Kara?” Jey said as Tia wiped her tears.
“Cause she’s willing…Willing to bed flop with anything that moves and I fuckin’ hate you for it Tia,” I cried wanting to give her this work but I knew I couldn’t.
“I tried to make it right-”
“Oh, that’s right, you slept with me and then told me I got you pregnant,” Jey said as I cringed at how he described it, but it was true.
“Where did you do it?” I asked as Tia subconsciously rubbed her belly.
“Don’t do this Kara?” Tia whispered as I scoffed.
“In my house?.....In my bed?” I asked with a whimper as she shook her head.
“No! As much as things haven’t always been good between us, I would never do that,” she cried as I tried to piece together their intimate moments.
“His bus?” I whispered as she nodded. I felt like I couldn’t breathe, now we were getting somewhere.
“The first night of the UK tour when I couldn’t reach him, he was with you wasn’t he?” I asked as she dropped her head in shame.
“That night you left the show early proclaiming you were sick,” Jey added as she nodded.
“Oh my god I’m going to be sick,” I whispered.
“I swear it’s over, Roman loves you and only you. That’s why we did this!” Tia cried as Jey exploded flipping the couch and storming outta the house.
“Jey! Don’t leave!" Tia cried as I grabbed my keys preparing to leave as well. I had heard and seen enough.
“Actions have consequences Tia. That was one of them, a good man walking out of your life….A new life about to be born," I said pointing at her stomach.
"Kara-"
"Your dead to me,” I whispered, heading for the door as she jumped in front of me.
“Kara, just listen-”
“Don’t call…Don’t text…Don’t come by my home… I never want to see you again,” I said as she gasped, falling against me and grunting in pain.
"Get off of me Tia!" I shouted as she held onto me to steady herself, but I didn't push her away.
 “Kara, my water just broke” she cried as I looked down seeing at the small puddle at her feet.
Are you serious right now? This cannot be happening.....
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Alright, I’ve been sitting on this for a while and I think i’ve managed to sort out my thoughts so it’s not just agonized internal screaming. Time to finally talk about Monkie Kid Season 5.
Quick Disclaimers before we get started: please keep in mind i’m probably gonna be a little negative here. I’m not going after the animators or the writers or anything of the sort, I just need to get this out and slapping it on my blog just makes sense so people have the option to ignore it. Yes, I’m still grateful we still have the show, yes I’m still happy we have the same VA’s, don’t come at me. I’m not gonna get too salty cause I’ve gotten most of that out methinks and too much salt is bad for ya health, but I still do wanna talk about it and I’m still gonna be at least a little salty. If you’re not interested in hearing anything negative about the future of season five please don’t feel obligated to read. And please DO NOT take this as an invitation to bash on the new studio or anyone else in the replies, I really don’t wanna see that, go make your own post if you want to do that. I’m going to keep it under the cut so it’s easy to scroll past.
Welp, if you’re here to read, buckle up and here we go!
To start off, let's get the big personal bias thing out of the way: I strongly dislike puppet animation.
I say ‘strongly dislike’ and not hate because, while I hate most puppet animation, there is Bluey which is the best puppet animation can offer. I didn’t even know it was puppet animation for a while because of how beautifully it’s animated, so, puppet animation does have potential, I’m not gonna deny that. However, I hate that it is always used to replace 2D animation. It’s the cheaper, faster option and I can’t even begin to count the amount of shows that have started off with the plans for being 2D before being ultimately scrapped in favor of either puppet animation or 3D. Monkie Kid was the outlier in all that for me. It was 2D and it felt right. It was gorgeous and good for my brain to look at, it made me excited for animation and for art. It really was so incredibly special to me in a way it just can’t be anymore without Flying Bark’s animation. I probably won’t stop watching but, because of my dislike of puppet animation, it might be a bit of a struggle to get my brain to focus on it the way it used to, (we’ll see.) Absolutely no shade to Wildbrain (the new animation studio) they have worked miracles in the short time that they’ve had, they’ve managed to very closely replicate the style of monkie kid, and they are excellent at what they do, but when things are rushed (LEGO, [derogatory]) it makes it very hard to maintain a high standard, especially when we have something like Flying Bark’s animation to compare it to. And listen, please don’t tell me it looks similar to Flying Bark’s animation, please don’t send me shots and tell me but look how close it is! This one’s gorgeous! Because, at least to me… it’s not.
I’m the kind of person who sits in a room and I see a picture is crooked while no one else in the room notices. It could be off by centimeters but I still notice. It hurts my brain to look at and I go a bit insane until I can get up and straighten it, which usually makes people laugh and honestly yeah it’s kinda funny, but I really can’t stand things looking off, and, despite Wildbrain’s valiant attempt and excellent replication of the style, everything in the trailer we got looks off to me. From the framing, to the animation, to the design of the new characters; from the perspective to the coloring, everything is off and my ‘PLEASE LET ME STRAIGHTEN THE PICTURE’ brain hurts looking at it. I’m not trying to rag on the animation, I know they’re doing their best. Off things just hurt my brain to look at.
That’s why I loved Flying Bark’s animation so much. From Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles to Monkie Kid to Moon Girl and Devil Dinosaur, Flying Bark’s animation has scratched that itch in my brain that has desperately wanted things to look right. Everything is just so shaped!!! AAA!!!
Now, there are episodes of monkie kid that I’m not as big of a fan of. Impossible Delivery is one of them. I’m not a fan of how some scenes are drawn in it, so I tend to avoid it a lot. And that was done by Flying Bark so, this new animation for Monkie Kid is really doing a number on me.
…that being said: I still aint’ about that ‘flying bark started out awkward too’
Once again, ABSOLUTELY NO SHADE TO WILDBRAIN, (or anyone who’s said this at any point, I ain’t coming for your kneecaps,) they have done a SPECTACULAR job replicating Flying Bark’s style in the time that they have and I’m sure LEGO has been putting them through the wringer and rushing them through stuff (which I’ll complain about in a minute) but that’s the thing… They replicated Flying Bark’s Style. Style and animation are two completely separate things. This same drama was used by critics to bash the crap out of ROTTMNT when it first came out; they kept saying the animation was ugly, but it wasn’t, the animation was gorgeous, it was the style that they disliked because, most shows right now start off clunky and a little ugly and that’s just how it is. (Also the promotional material for Rise dragged it through the mud. I will always be salty about that.)
The pilot of monkie kid’s style wasn't all the way there, I’m not gonna deny that. The crew at flying bark were still figuring things out how to draw lego, BUT. The perspective, the framing, and the animation were all on point and just as gorgeous as the rest of the series. When I hear the argument that Flying Bark wasn’t great at first either it makes me want to tear my hair out because it WAS great. IT WAS ABSOLUTELY GREAT, FROM THE BEGINNING, THEIR ANIMATION HAS BEEN GORGEOUS IN MONKIE KID SINCE DAY ONE. The style is what was off. With this new animation we have the opposite experience. Instead of an awkward style with a god tier animation, we have a pretty excellent replication of a good style with an animation form I personally am not a very big fan of. It’s jarring. And even though I’m sure wildbrain will indeed get into their own groove, it will likely never be as earth shattering as Flying Bark because Flying Bark is Flying Bark and what they did was possible because of 2D.
Onto yelling at lego here we go: 'Be grateful it wasn’t canceled'
I’ma be real, this one bugs me the most.
The animation industry right now sucks. There’s no denying it. We have incredible artists left and right being messed over by studios and companies, entirely completed series being deleted, artists being ripped off, overworked and underpaid, outsourcing in every way they can, the disrespect of A/I, and 2D animation especially being dragged through the mud, even with groundbreaking 2D+3D movies like Spider-Verse and award winning movies like The Boy and the Heron, proving 2D is far from dead. Shows are being canceled before their second or third seasons, ideas are being recycled, so many people have watched their favorite things end too soon, and I’m one of them. Bro I was into DRAGON BOOSTER as a kid. Do you know that show? Probably not. It was canceled after one season YEARS ago and ended on a cliffhanger that makes me hurt to this day and I was a kid back then. (Incredible show btw you should give it a watch.) This cancellation thing isn’t new. I got on board with Rise only to see it sniped because Nickelodeon is stupid. Legend of Korra got messed over by Nickelodeon too. I have experienced cancellation/rushed endings before and it sucks. And it fills me with rage to see the bar is so low, that we should all just be okay with what happened because ‘at least it wasn’t canceled.’ I’m not mad at the people saying this, I’m just upset that this is what the reality of animation is. Heck I'm allowed to be upset about it.
And, let’s be real for a second here… Monkie Kid is LEGO’s product for China. It’s making them money. Canceling monkie kid would be shooti ng themselves in the foot more than anything else. LEGO is not hurting for money. Ninjago ran for FIFTEEN seasons and is still running today in this soft-reboot with even better animation than before. LEGO has the means. They don’t need to rush animators to finish things or underpay people. Flying Bark is in big demand right now because more and more people are noticing how good their stuff is. I’m willing to bet their schedule is packed, (they’re working on the ATLA movie which I have mixed emotions about but at least the animation’s gonna be BANGER and last I heard a stranger things animated series??) and when you’re in that high of demand you have to raise your prices, that’s just how that works. But even with that, given enough patience, time, and proper pay, I have no doubt they could have done Monkie Kid as well. We know Lego was pushing them way too hard to animate Monkie Kid and that animation is INSANE and not cheap. LEGO can afford that. But they decided it wasn’t worth that.
Okay don’t quote me on that last bit. I really didn’t want to start going off about conspiracy theories but I admit I get really frustrated when I hear the ‘at least it wasn’t canceled’ thing because I know there’s more going on behind the scenes, people just aren’t transparent about it. Studios and companies right now don’t really care about the quality of things, it’s the artists and the writers and the creators that care about the quality. There are other 2D studios out there but LEGO chose to go with puppet animation because it's faster and cheaper. I am always going to be upset about that. Am I grateful Monkie Kid wasn’t canceled? Sure. But at the same time I don’t want to feel grateful for the bare minimum. I’m angry at the state of the animation industry that no one in the higher-ups of these industries seem to respect 2D animators or 2D animation in general, that no one seems to understand how much skill it takes to animate and how worth investing in it is. And seeing people tell others upset by this that they should be grateful they have anything at all just rubs me the wrong way.
And the audacity to change the animation is ridiculous to me because a huge part of the audience for LMK is here because of the animation. It’s not like Ninjago, which started off with low budget 3D and slowly got better and better over time with a few dips here and there. We started off with one of the best 2D animated shows of all time, (in my monkey obsessed opinion,) animated the way it was to draw in an audience, and suddenly for no reason at all and no prior warning we’ve dropped down to what every pilot of every puppet animation children show looks like these days. It feels like a crummy thing to do. Yes, I’m aware we’re lucky we still have a show, yes I’m grateful we still have the same VA’s and the same writers. But this is a big and abrupt change and I’d be lying if I said it didn’t suck.
Okay, onto my biggest concern: how the writing of the show will pair with this new animation.
With all due respect and love to the writers, Monkie Kid is awful when it comes to biased narration in their storytelling. It has relied so so heavily on visual storytelling to fill in the gaps and tell us what’s actually going on while the dialogue is lying to our face. If you’re not looking, it can lead you to woefully misunderstand the characters and what is happening. It’s a style of writing that I’m not a super big fan of, BUT I, for the most part (aside from fandom craziness,) enjoyed it! Because the animation helped it hold up. What made the storytelling work was the nuance and incredible detail in Flying Bark’s animation. You could analyze every expression, every style difference in flashbacks, and it would tell you so much; I am a SUCKER for that kind of stuff--drawing expressions and emotions is something I love so much--and Flying Bark served it to me on a silver platter with a golden spoon and crystal clear mountain water. The scope of what Flying Bark was able to do… I just don’t know if it can be replicated in puppet animation and that scares me a bit storytelling wise. Because I don’t want to be stressed out by Monkie Kid and unreliable narrators have a habit of stressing me out. It’s not to bad as long as it’s resolved later, but Monkie Kid has a habit of blowing over things, especially in regards to the lies told about Wukong and the only thing that tells us something different happened are the visuals, which stresses me out cause it results in INTENSE fandom bashing my favorite monkey and it’s really hard to avoid. (This is why I stepped back so far from interacting with the fandom.) I don’t want something that brought me comfort in my darkest times to be twisted into something I no longer want to see.
Is this the worst possible thing to have happened? No, of course not. It’s definitely not all that awesome either. For me it’s like eating at a gourmet restaurant having their insane mac n cheese every day for years and then suddenly you’re served KD from the dollar store and told you should be grateful because it could be worse, all the while the restaurant keeps its gourmet title. There’s nothing wrong with KD but bro I want my mac n cheese--
The fact that there was no prior warning is what really makes all this feel so sucky. I know this isn’t the end of monkie kid, but the animation is one of the biggest things that made the show unique, it’s what drew so many incredible artists in, it’s what inspired me to create and make friends and keep living. The animation provided nuance to the characters when the writing sometimes fell flat. It gave insights and information that worked well with the face-paced storytelling and brought the incredible voice acting to life. It’s not really going to be the same without it.
There is ofc more than just the animation that made monkie kid great. The voice actors, the SOUNDTRACK, the sound effects are all off the charts insanely high quality but man. It’s not complete without it. There’s a big ol’ gaping hole in the show and in my heart and as much as I love the show, that’s really rough. Because it’s not as though this makes things better. The quality didn’t drop because people wanted it to be easier for animators to animate, Wildbrain I’m sure is having a time meeting LEGO’s crazy deadlines right now, just like Flying Bark did. There was so much reused animation in season 4 because of how hard LEGO was riding animators' tails and pushing them to get things out faster and faster and I was more than alright with the reused animation so the animators could catch a break. But instead of backing off and being respectful of the time it takes to animate, LEGO dropped Flying Bark like a hot potato and immediately went to the cheaper, faster puppet animation. (JUST A THEORY/VENT DON’T QUOTE ME.) It’s not like there aren’t other 2D animation studios out there but they picked the puppet. And that SUCKS. I would have been okay waiting another year for monkie kid easy because Flying Bark is WORTH IT. I understand how long things take and that if I want a high quality product its going to take skill and time. It hurts me to watch animators having it rough because no one else seems to get that.
Alright in conclusion: We’ve only seen a few seconds of the trailer.
It’s hard to judge what the entire show will look like based off of that little. It could be incomplete, Wildbrain could get better, they could find their groove, I ain’t gonna rag on the animation because it’s giving you exactly the quality--maybe even higher--expected of what it is. It’s puppet animation. I dunno what to tell you man. But it’s not about that for me. For me it’s about 2D. It’s about some of the greatest animation I’ve ever seen being replaced when it didn’t need to be and that sucks. Flying Bark gave us the world and we didn’t lose that for any reason other than money and greed and impatience. That is so discouraging and upsetting. It is something else to go from every frame leaving me breathless and staring and in awe over the quality of the animation to Puppet Animation. The change hurts. Honestly, I never thought I would be as devastated as I am. I’ve processed a bit but I think it’s always going to suck because of how important monkie kid has become to me. I miss flying bark so much already. I’m still going to try and watch the show, but we’ll see how my brain does with the puppet animation. Don’t go ragging on the animators, guys, they’re doing their best and I gotta respect em.
I do wish we’d gotten more time to mourn flying bark’s absence. I wish people had gotten a heads up when season 4 had ended so they could have time to adjust and then get ready for the new style, because watching everyone hype themselves up for flying barks’ animation only to be told they're gone by a trailer kiiiinda sucks. But I digress.
I do find it funny it took changing animation studios for us to finally get a trailer and poster on time before the eps drop. So in a way, I appreciate that much of a warning at least. Better than nothing! And we’ve always wanted a trailer out first lol HGLKJSDF
I ain’t even gonna pretend I ain’t spoiled as HECK by flying bark’s animation. Honestly without it, I don’t know if I’d be as attached to the characters as I am. Real talk, I don’t know if I ever would have even watched Monkie Kid without it. I’m gonna miss flying bark with all I have in me and it's going to make rewatching and enjoying the show hard because of all this. I’m going to miss the time when every part of this show was a comfort to my brain and soul. Flying Bark's energy is unmatched, they bring a life to things that I haven’t seen anywhere else and I’m always gonna be grateful for the time I had with them animating Monkie Kid.
This is it. No more more Flying Bark monkie kid. The end. And that’s going to sting for a while. And probably keep stinging throughout the new season because… well… I love monkie kid. So seeing it become something else is going to hurt, especially if you hold it so close to your heart.
These new animators are doing their best and we can’t fault em for that. It ain’t their fault the animation industry is what it is. It’s great we still have the show going when so many other things have gotten canceled but the fact the bar is so low can hurt like heck too.
We’re gonna miss flying bark for a long time. It’s so goofy that something as simple as animation could have burrowed so deep into our hearts but it has and that’s truly wondrous and the magic of storytelling. I love shows. I love movies. I love what monkie kid was, and I hope I can learn to be okay with what it will be now. (Even with my ‘STRAIGHTEN THE PICTURE’ brain screaming at me lol.) Wishing you all the best, don’t make fun of the animation needlessly or go after the animators, be kind to them and to each other. If you wanna be salty don't send it to me just make ur own post thanks ima drop this and then go try some positivity lol. Until next time! I’ll see you in Monkie Kid season 5
Knox out
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lokisprettygirl · 2 days
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Rain to his Fire (Modern! Daemon Targaryen x Female Reader) (Non Canon 80s Au) (18+)
Read Chapter 6 here// Series Masterlist
Chapter 7
Summary: Amidst the chaos of learning the truth about Tanya, you meet someone from the past and things develop between you and Daemon.
Warning: 18+, smutty scenarios, crude language, description of Statutory rape, discussion of mental health (it's a fic based in a mental health facility), mention of physical assault, the fic would contain several mentions of several disorders like mpd, did etc, if something triggers you don't read, smoking.
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As you heard the news about Tanya, your heart started to race and your chest began to feel tight. You knew that you needed a moment to yourself, so you hastily excused yourself from the cafeteria and ran hurriedly to make your way to the fourth floor to get to your room.
On the way you saw Daemon as he was being escorted for his session and the washed out look on your face concerned him to say the least.
As soon as you went inside your room, you locked the door and sat down on the bed to think about Tanya. Poor girl, she was suffering so much with her sickness while she was here. But she seemed so happy while she was discharged, she hugged you so warmly as if she couldn't wait to get out of this place, then what happened to her?
And Why was her body found near King's landing?
You were lost in all the questions when you remembered the note you had found under her mattress so you quickly got up and reached into your closet.
Reading the note now filled you with immense guilt and uneasiness, at first you had assumed that she was just paranoid of her environment, a mental health facility wasn't exactly a happy place to be in, you figured that it was one of her personalities just writing anything but now your heart felt sinking into your guts as you realized that the note could have been a distress call for help.
Perhaps she knew something, or someone who was trying to harm her. You felt nauseous about the implications of the note, perhaps you could have helped her if you had passed on the note to the police. You should have looked for her, why didn't you?
Tears rolled down your eyes as you remembered her sweet face, she was so young and kind and she didn't deserve whatever had happened to her.
That afternoon members of the staff were informed that the police would be interviewing each member separately, you had never been questioned by the police before so obviously it made you nervous.
You couldn't even breathe properly, at one moment it seemed as if you'd die of a heart attack like your mother did.
As you were finally called in, you went inside Dr Darren’s office, the investigation was being held there.
“Good afternoon” you mumbled as you sat down. There were two men sitting opposite you, a middle aged brown haired man and the other one with dark hair seemed younger, and he also seemed familiar for some reason.
"I'm Detective Hightower," the older man said, introducing himself and his partner, "Detective Criston." You nodded nervously and tried to take in a deep breath, but your chest felt constricted still..
"You seem nervous," Det. Criston Spoke as he offered you a glass of water. "Have a drink”
“I'm fine..i am just nervous” you spoke nervously,
“Don't be.. it's routine..we just have a few questions regarding Tanya Anderson” Your eyes teared up as Det. Hightower said her name.
“Sure” you were looking anywhere but at the officers and you wondered if they would see you as a suspect because you were acting really suspicious.
“You're tearing up, I can imagine it must be hard as you were assigned as her custodian, is that correct?” Det. Criston asked, his voice firm but professional.
“Yeahh”
You had tried so hard to control your tears but you failed eventually so you placed your hand over your eyes as you cried as silently as you could. Det. Criston got up from his chair and offered you the glass of water so you took it from him this time.
“Thank you and I'm sorry”
You mumbled meekly so Det. Hightower gave you a comforting smile.
“It's alright, take your time”
A minute later you finally took a deep breath and looked up at them.
“Okay I'm ready..thank you for being so kind” you said politely as you recovered from the outburst you had just now.
“No issues..so y/n..how long have you been here for?”
“Two years”
“Was Miss Tanya the first person you looked after, not just as a custodian but as a friendly companion as well?” Hightower asked so you shook your head in response.
“There are several patients I care for while I'm on duty, she was one of them but we definitely got along, she just seemed so out of place here when she wasn't suffering from her ailments” they looked at each other as you said that.
“What do you mean?” Hightower inquired,
“She seemed normal most of the time and then sometimes she would freak out out of nowhere, she was suffering from multiple personality disorder or something. Dr. Vis was treating her here at the facility” you told them so Hightower nodded his head as he wrote down your statement. Why did you have to mention Vis? They must know that already.
“Alright …did she ever tell you anything personal, about anyone trying to hurt her or just anything really?” Criston inquired so you shook your head.
“No, not really, she often talked about her childhood but never went into much detail.”
“Okay good, thanks for your time y/n, we will connect again if required” Criston said to you so you nodded and as you were about to get up you realized that now was the one and only chance you'd get to tell them about the note you had found, even though it might get you in trouble with the management.
“Can I ask you something?” you asked nervously so Det. Hightower gave you a slight nod.
“What happened to her? When did she die?” You asked them solemnly so they shared a look with each other.
“It's a classified information that we can't share just yet”
“Okay ummm the day after she was discharged from here, I was cleaning her room for the new patient and found this under her mattress, perhaps it can be of help”
Criston grabbed the piece of paper and as soon as he had read it, you saw the worried look on his face instantly.
“Who else knows about this?” Hightower asked you.
“Nobody” as you answered you noticed that he seemed instantly relieved.
“Thanks for bringing this up to us”
You nodded as they dismissed but as you stepped out of the office you heard Detective Criston calling your name so you turned around.
“Hey y/n..I think you didn't recognise me in there” You looked at him confused as he said that, he did seem familiar. “It's Cole, we went to middle school together.. perhaps the term rock boy would jog your memory?”
“Oh you're the boy that collected rocks ..oh i know youuuu” you smiled as you finally recalled the memory, it brought an unexpected smile to your face. “So detective huh? That's amazing... wow that's so cool” you said to him as you crossed your arms.
“Thank you..well i am still obsessed with collecting rocks though” You let out a small laugh as he said that.
“Why have I never seen you here before?” You asked him so he sighed deeply
“Because I just got transferred like a month ago, I was in Bradford before I got here” you nodded as he said that.
“Ahhh well okay..i better get back to my work now, but it was really nice catching up with you” you mumbled politely so he gave you a smile.
“Sure”
“Ummm if you find out something about her. Will you let me know?” You asked him so he nodded in response.
“Is there a number I can call here to connect with you?” He asked you so you nodded so he took out a pen from the coat's pocket and offered you his palm as a parchment.
“Uhhh okay” you chuckled nervously as you grabbed onto his fingers to write the digits on his palm before you mumbled a goodbye..
As you turned around you saw Daemon standing a few feet away from you with two guards holding onto him. He was staring deeply into your soul and it made you nervous.
“Not this guy again” you heard Criston mumbling so you turned around to look at him. Did they know each other? The events of the day were becoming increasingly strange. It was especially puzzling since Daemon wasn't even here when Tanya left so why was he being questioned.
You hadn't seen Daemon all day, so visiting his room directly seemed risky. Waiting until night, you knocked on his door once before sneaking into the terrace and walked towards the ledge, looking down. Your heart sank again as you thought about Tanya, imagining her final moments stirred emotions you didn't wish to face. You couldn't shake off the feeling of helplessness, knowing that you weren't there for her when she needed someone in her corner.
The scent of mahogany filled your nostrils before he had his arm wrapped around your waist so you turned around and hugged him tightly, finally letting the tears out. Caressing your head gently he then placed a soft kiss on your shoulder. Your fingers clenched around his shirt as you felt the warmth of his body, on a cold night he felt like a comforting bonfire.
“I found a note under the mattress, a cry for help and i ignored it..i thought she probably wrote it in her fits of paranoia, what if I had caused it…what if it could have been prevented if I had gone to the authorities or perhaps if I would have checked on her–” your lips trembled as you spoke, you had been keeping it all in since this morning and his hot comforting embrace was all you needed in the moment.
“Shhhhh it's not your fault alright? You couldn't have known darling..it's an unfortunate tragedy but you can't put the blame on yourself okay” you shook your head as he said that so he cupped your cheeks and wiped your tears “Hey look at me..not your fault, none of this is your fault” he mumbled softly so you placed your head back on his chest and nodded as you let out your tears until you couldn't cry any more.
Once your breathing leveled back to normal you pulled away from him.
“Why did they call you in for questioning? You weren't even here back then” you asked him, worry evident in your voice.
“I don't really know..why did that copper have your telephone number on his palm?” He asked you, a hint of jealousy visible and it made you smile a little.
“We went to school together..he remembered me” he squinted his eyes for a moment before he rolled them around in typical Daemon fashion.
“He's an arse” he grumbled.
“Why would you say that? Do you know him from before?”
“It doesn't matter..how are you feeling?” he asked as he shifted the conversation again.
“Okay..I'm okay” you mumbled softly.
“You should get out of this forsaken place once in a while” he said to you.
“And go where..do what?”
“Anything..you're young and beautiful, live your fucking life” you let out a chuckle as he said that.
“And do exactly what out there? Get drunk in bars and have sex with random men?” he grabbed the back of your neck as you said that, the smirk on your face only boiled his anger. He hated imagining that scenario in his head, a sight of you in some other man's bed, writhing and moaning underneath him.
“I'd kiss you right now if I wasn't your first kiss” he whispered against your mouth so you stifled the moan that was threatening to spill from deep within you.
“I have been kissed before”
“I don't think so”
The audacity. Not that he was wrong.
“It wasn't consensual but i have been kissed” his brows furrowed as you said that.
“Elaborate”
“You don't want to know trust me”
“I do want to know”
“Well long story short I was at party with few of my friends, I got drunk out of my mind and then started to cry because I was just sad.. really sad, about my life and I kept crying and this guy that I was dancing with kissed me out of nowhere.. and i hated it, I didn't like it at all” you mumbled hurriedly so he grabbed your cheeks between his palms. If he had enough information he'd have found the guy and perhaps beat him to pulp for touching you like that in your vulnerable advantageous state.
“I'm starting to see why you're so appalled by intimacy”
“I'm not against it..i just don't want to do it with every other fella” he smirked as you responded. He knew you would want to do it with him sooner or later, his ego was soaring these days due to that particular reason.
“Kissing a person you adore is a high darling, nothing short of a drug” he whispered in your ear so you pulled away from him to control yourself.
“You must have kissed many people then” you taunted him so he chuckled.
“Didn't really adore half of them”
“Well i didn't enjoy being kissed so–”
“Were you attracted to that bloke who forced himself upon you?” he asked strictly.
“No”
“That's why..you have to have the hots for the man who's into your mouth darling” you bit on your lips as he said that. You had definite hots for him and you wanted his mouth in yours.
“We should go”
Before we do something stupid you thought.
He stared at your lips for a moment so you placed your hands on his chest and nudged him slightly to get out of his warmth but you weren't really expecting what he was about to say next. Unpredictable as always.
“Sleep with me tonight” his tone was deathly serious and you couldn't deny how your intimate areas were tingling at the prospect of it.
“Are you joking?” you chuckled to hide your arousal.
“No ..I'm not joking, I'm not asking you to have sex with me, just sleep with me, in the same bed”
“That's not a good idea at all”
It was a great idea but a risk you couldn't take these days, besides you had never slept with a man you were attracted to before.
“I'll come to your window..nobody will know”
“No ..stop..lets go” you giggled as you dragged him along with you to take him back to his room.
Once you laid down in your bed, your mind shifted from thoughts of Tanya to those of Daemon, you wondered how it would feel to have him so close to you, his mouth rubbing against yours slowly and sensually.
The following day, you were assigned to clean room 390, formerly occupied by Mrs. Rodriguez, who had been discharged. This left you surprised, considering her frail mental state. While tidying up, the sound of the door opening caught your attention, and Doctor Vis stepped in, his presence intimidating and commanding like always.
“Good morning doctor” you mumbled politely so he gave you a smile and walked closer to you, you didn't even understand what he was doing or why he was looking at you like that but a part of you knew it couldn't have been about anything else but Daemon. Your life seemed to revolve around him only these days.
“Did you hear about the upcoming gala on Sunday?” He asked you so you nodded in response. The fundraising gala was traditionally held annually at King's Landing institution, offering a unique opportunity for patients, doctors, and staff to come together for one night, setting apart from the usual daily routine.
“I want you to take my…uhhh i want you to make sure that Daemon is on his best behavior at the gala” He said to you, making you all perplexed about his motive.
“How would I do that?” you asked him firmly so he smiled again.
“Just keep him engaged in conversations, think of it as a part of your duty and you'll earn a hefty bonus immediately”
Well the bonus would be nice but the entire situation bewildered you. Why did he only assign these extra tasks to you? Especially after that day when he had seen Daemon attacking you?
On the night of the gala, you chose to pamper yourself with a refreshing shower and meticulous grooming. After doing your makeup, you slipped into a black, full-length dress gifted to you by your mother, a piece you had never worn before, you never found the occasion for it.
You didn't dress up this lavishly for the previous galas as you really didn't care unlike this year. The dress featured thin straps that hugged your figure, a smidgen of cleavage on display, leaving you feeling both elegant but also slightly exposed. However you wanted to look sexy tonight, it was strange having such feelings, wanting to dress up for someone, getting all dolled up so he'd look at you differently and would perhaps make your knees tremble with his inappropriate touching and filthy words.
You enjoyed that feeling.
As you reached the main hall you felt everyone's eyes on you, especially your colleagues, they were not used to seeing you so made up.
There were plenty of influential people invited at the gala, it was a grand affair, alot to look forward to but your eyes wandered around to just see him, besides you had a job to do.
You didn't know what you were expecting but you definitely didn't expect to see Daemon in an all black suit that gave him the aura of a royal prince. Two guards had been appointed by the Viserys to bring him to the venue but as he entered Viserys gestured them to uncuff him from the shackles and then he gestured to you to keep an eye on him. The look hadn't gone unnoticed by Daemon as he walked towards you.
“Who knew you were hiding all this behind that granny dress you wear everyday” he mumbled as he neared you so you rolled your eyes.
“Who knew you were capable of wearing a two-piece suit?” you retorted making him chuckle in response
“You look gorgeous love” he muttered, a smirk playing on his lips,
“You look handsome” you responded honestly.
“Thank you”
“I'll get a drink” you turned around to get to the bar as you felt flushed under his intense gaze. As soon as you had your back to him he stared at your hips shamelessly while you walked away from him and cursed profanities under his breath, the dress hugged you in all the right places and his instincts were screaming at him to pounce on you right now.
To claim you in every possible way, show you what you were missing in your bed every night.
He was half a wild unruly creature and sometimes you made it really hard for him to keep that animal intact inside him, your alluring presence ignited the fire already burning within him, compelling him to satisfy that beast who just wanted to mate with his mate.
You made it really hard for him, literally and figuratively.
His eyes met with Shyla at the other end of the hallway but she quickly looked away as he approached you.
“It's my birthday” he mumbled as he stood next to you at the bar so you looked at him surprised.
“Really?”
“You can check my records”
“Why didn't you tell me all day?” You asked him so he rolled his eyes.
“I don't celebrate it”
“Why not?” you probed further to make him open up so he sighed.
“You need friends and family to do so.. didn't have any of that growing up” there was a hint of sadness in his tone and you felt your heart clenching at the sight of him.
“Well..how old are you now?”’
“35.. I feel ancient”
“I hear you” you hesitated for a moment before you spoke further,
“I have a job to do ..Dr. Vis have asked me to keep you in line and in return i would receive an early bonus” he chuckled as you said that, clearly amused.
“He's an imbecile” he scoffed
“True but he's being cautious, you areeee unpredictable” you admitted to which he responded with a smirk.
“Uhhhuh and that arse thinks a pretty little thing like you would get me under control if I wanted to go berserk right about now?” he asked arrogantly as he stepped closer to you. The scent of mahogany made your knees weak already and he hadn't even touched you yet.
“Perhaps I can do that” you replied confidentially as if to challenge him.
“You're overconfident love…I care about you but you can't tie me on a leash and have me wrapped around your fingers like a domestic pet” His words were affecting you in ways you couldn't even describe to yourself, you didn't think it was possible to feel so turned on by a man speaking to you so callously.
"Mhmmm, perhaps I would simply have to manipulate you emotionally." He raised an eyebrow, clearly intrigued as you challenged him again.
“And how would you do that?”
“Like this” you made a sad face and your eyes teared up suddenly as you looked at him with that pathetic puppy look on your face, his eyes softened for a moment before he realized that you were messing with him.
“Oh you little minx”
You couldn't help but grin at his response, feeling the sizzling chemistry between you, the flirting and the electric tension filling the air. The sight of him dressed so sharply added fuel to the fire, igniting a heat within your core. He then walked so close to you that there was not an inch of space left between your bodies, for a moment you worried about being seen like this but his words kept you hooked to him.
“Ask me to be nice and I won't disappoint you” he whispered in your ear.
“Will you be nice please?” You asked him softly so he caressed the bridge of your nose before he stepped away from you.
“You got it Princess”
And he upheld his promise, throughout the gala he was well behaved and polite with everyone, not that many people were interacting with him. He was misunderstood and he had done nothing to diffuse those rumors about him attacking Shyla. Sometimes you envied the power he had where he didn't give any fucks about his reputation.
Later that night you grabbed a piece of cake and made your way to his room, he had left the Gala before you and you didn't want to look suspicious so you waited for a bit before you stole the cake and sneaked out quietly.
Like always he had his door open so you entered immediately.
As expected, you found him standing by the window, his arms resting against the frame, the soft light of the moon bathing his silhouette.
“Happy birthday” you mumbled softly as he turned around and his gaze met with yours. The gentle flicker of the candle you had carefully placed on the cake casted a warm orange hue and he didn't know what it was about the gesture but it made him want to cry. All his adult life he had fought against emotions like these but with you he was failing miserably.
He walked towards you as he stared at you so you gestured towards the cake,
“Blow and make a wish” you told him so he chuckled and shook his head but his resolved melted as you made a pout, you didn't bring any fork so you cut the corner of the slice with your fingers and offered the sweet delicious treat to him, you weren't really expecting him to suck your fingers clean off the delicious cream. He grabbed the plate from your hands and stepped away from you to place it on the dresser before he approached you again.
“I want to touch you” he murmured under his breath and your heart ceased to beat for a moment.
“Where?” you asked hesitantly but evidently turned on by the husky whisper of his voice.
“Everywhere” he wrapped his arms around your waist and pulled you closer to his chest so you looked up at him.
“You can't start touching me everywhere at once, it's …scary” you mumbled softly.
His fingers trailed up from your wrist and you shuddered as they caressed the curve of your shoulders, he messed around with the straps of your dress before he lowered them down, exposing your clavicle and a bit of cleavage, it wasn't really much but you felt as if you were all naked , you felt as if he could see right through you and the thought made you feel so aroused.
As his thumbs traced over your collarbone, your eyes rolled back in your head involuntary.
“Is this alright? Not too much, hmm?” he asked, his voice gentle but slightly mocking in your ears.
“No..not much..” the trembling of your voice betrayed the conviction in your words.
“Yet you're shaking like a leaf” he murmured as his thumb traced over the curve of your breasts, ragged breaths escaped your chest at the touch. You could feel yourself dripping in your thong. “Depriving yourself of such pleasures all your life? It's a shame darling, a woman as sensual as you was made to be ridden every night”
You silenced him with a gentle press of your palm against his lips as he spoke filthily.
“I don't want to be touched by anyone or everyone” you mumbled meakly as his hands wrapped around your neck like a necklace, his hold both possessive and gentle at the same time.
“And I would be honored if you'd allow me to savor a part of you that you've never shared before, my sweet girl. I promise to keep it safe, secure, and thoroughly pleased.” your eyes moistened at the sincerity in his voice.
“Mmmmhm? Kiss me then”
You looked him in the eye and cupped his cheeks as before you got angled up and pecked his lips briefly.
He leaned down and took a whiff of your scent before he sucked a mark on your neck, his lips then trailed up to your jaw and as he kissed the corner of your mouth, you felt your knees trembling with anticipation.
“Daemon” you whispered against his mouth as he cupped your cheeks.
“Mmm?” He asked, concern filled his voice as he didn't want to make you uncomfortable in the slightest.
“I …adore you..very much”
“As do i”’
With those words he then planted his lips on yours, your breath hitched in your chest as you gasped in his mouth, the wave of feelings that you experienced felt unfamiliar. This feeling that you had, you couldn't have anticipated it. It definitely wasn't the same as kissing your own hand as a child to practice kissing, and it definitely didn't feel as awful as it had with that man you didn't even remember the name of. He let go of your upper lips and looked at you for a moment,
“I'm not kissing you back am i?” You asked him between your bated breaths but he didn't answer, he smiled instead and leaned down to capture your lower lip into his mouth , his hands cupping your other cheeks as he pulled you closer to him.
The feeling of his warm big hands rubbing over the curve of your rear flipped a switch inside you right then and you reciprocated his movements, arms curled around his neck as you followed the rhythm of his mouth.
For the first time in your life you felt as if you were in a hazy dream, this feeling felt too good to be true, and for the first time your boring mundane life felt as exciting and as thrilling as those wild dreams you have had all your life. And it terrified you if you were being honest with yourself.
As his tongue slipped into your mouth you were a goner, the taste of him was something you could see yourself getting addicted to, it offered you a euphoric high like that of a drug as he had said, it felt intoxicating, but it was a high no other drug could ever compare to.
As the kiss deepened, he didn't pull away until he was gasping for breath, stealing the air from your lungs with each frantic inhale. Doubts filled your head, and you wondered whether the kiss was as magical for him as it was for you. Did he feel the fire burning within his soul, or was this moment merely a fleeting distraction for him?
“It is” he mumbled softly as peppered kisses all over your face so you looked at him confused “it is as magical for me as it was for you darling”
You still didn't understand how he was so intuitive, perhaps he had a strong sixth sense or something, considering that he was half dragon, you were still on the fence of believing it completely.
“Turn around for me” he asked you, his tone commanding so you hesitated for a moment before you complied. Then, the cool touch of metal wrapping around your neck caught you off guard, drawing a gasp from your lips.
Honestly you just wanted to kiss him again and then again.
“Daemon–”
“It's a gift…belonged to my mother” You turned around to look at him as he said that.
“I don't think I deserve it yet” you whispered softly so he placed his fingers on your lips to shut you up.
“Just keep it .. please”
“Okay”
He placed his forehead down on yours as he sighed so you tucked his hair behind his ears before you cupped his cheeks.
“What is bothering you?”
He wasn't the only one with strong senses it seems.
“Nothing” he mumbled as he grabbed the locket of the pendant between his fingers and contemplated his words before speaking “Don't put it on in front of Viserys”
“Viserys?” You looked at him confused so he nodded.
“Dr. Vis”
He had a full name? Why didn't you know that after all these years?
“Okay..why though?” Your puzzled expression prompted him to sigh again.
“He'd recognise it..it belonged to my mother” his answer only confused you further.
“Why would he know about this Daemon?” you asked him as the curiosity piqued, you knew Dr Vis had been treating him for a while but why would he know about the necklace you thought, it was personal. And that's when he revealed the truth about his relationship with the man you knew as Dr. Vis.
“Cause he's my brother.. he's my older brother”
👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀
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@anukulee @ammo23 @littledark11 @stupidthoughtsinwriting
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luizd3ad · 2 days
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Every Step Of The Way | Regulus Black x Reader
ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 ࣪˖⤷ .𖥔 ݁ ˖ ࣪ ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 ˖ ⤷
Pairing: Regulus Black x GN!Reader WC: 1,213 TW: heavy talks of depression, depressive episode, depressed reader, self invalidation, no use of Y/N. Author's Note: I've been having a hard time lately and I just needed a comfort fic, this is purely based off my own experience with depression and how I feel when I'm in a depressive episode. If you don't feel like me that's okay, mental health is different for everyone! Just remember you're so valid and so loved <3. Summary: You're just having a hard time but Regulus is always there for you.
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⨯ . ⁺ ✦ ⊹ ꙳ ⁺ ‧ ⨯. ⁺ ✦ ⊹ . * ꙳ ✦ ⊹
At some point your mind wasn't supposed to be your enemy anymore right? At some point the ‘teen angst’ was supposed to go away and you were supposed to be an adult with relatively healthy mental health right?
The crippling depression and anxiety was supposed to go away with puberty. At least that's what you'd been told, that things would get better and your mind wouldn't mess with you as much.That was what was supposed to happen, but when do things ever go as planned?
The only difference between now and your teen years was that you recognized the symptoms faster, you understood what was coming before it was fully there. Now every so often you can catch it, do things to make the bad thoughts go away or lessen, then other times… you would feel paralyzed.
The numbness would consume you, invite you in like an old friend, along with the loss of appeal to do anything. You didn't want to eat, drink, read, or listen to music. 
You didn't want to do anything and sometimes without even realizing you would spent the whole day looking into nothingness. 
Regulus would notice the mood change almost immediately. He would pick up on the sign and the overall change in your personality.
Not only would he notice because he was hyper aware of the behavioral changes around him (thank you Walburga. Sarcasm) but also because he dealt with the same feelings. 
The emptiness and numbness of it all, it wasn't until Pandora explained it to him that he learned that those feelings were not exactly ‘normal’. 
It was normal to be sad, to have a depressive episode here and there especially following a tragedy but it was the consistency that wasn't normal.
The feeling of emptiness that always felt like a shadow following you, the feeling of being the happiest you've ever been but still feeling that emptiness in the back of your head.
It was one of the things you both shared. Sometimes it wasn't a good thing. When both of you were in that state of mind it was hard to help each other, to be there for each other.
How could you stop someone from drowning if you're drowning yourself? 
But other times it was a good thing. You knew each other's signs, you two could pick up on the signs before the other person even realized that they were slipping, sometimes. It gave you time to either try and stop it before it went too far or just get prepared. 
This was one of those times Regulus knew he needed to prepare. 
He had seen you starting to detach for about a day now. Regulus knew this was going to be one of those episodes he couldn't stop, the kind where you were there physically but not mentally.
You just were floating through your days, you were on auto pilot almost the whole day; you weren't really listening, hardly responded and if you did it was short.
Regulus preparing for this meant doing a few things, taking a few days off work, letting Sirius, Pandora and Barty know that he wouldn't be really available so that he could focus solely on you. Making sure your favorite foods were home and ready to encourage you to eat, having some of your favorite movies, books, everything and anything accessible in case you were in the mood to do anything or if you just wanted to try and distract yourself for a while.
It also meant mentally preparing himself to be understanding and patient since it wasn't exactly his strong suit but he'd do anything for you. 
When an episode fully hits it isn't always you wake up and start to feel depressed. Sometimes you would be fine most of the day and then suddenly you were hit with a wave of nothingness.
Most of the time nothing would trigger it, nothing would happen, your brain would just decide that it was time to be sad, to be numb, you guessed.
“Mon Amore, would you like to eat something? You can have anything you want.” Regulus touched the side of your face and brought you out of your head. You just shook your head not really looking at him. “No, thank you.” You whisper.
He just nodded and sat next to you. He knew when to pick his battles and since you ate that morning he knew this shouldn't be the hill he dies on. 
The rest of the night was spent mostly silence with a few words exchanged here and there, Regulus was there ready and willing to do whatever you needed him to do to make you feel better.
He got you to eat a little eventually and you shared a shower with him. He had helped you wash yourself since you didn't have any motivation or energy to do so. 
By the end of the night you were both cuddled up in bed while Regulus ran his hand up and down your back just to let you know he was there.
He liked when you knew he was there, he felt like it helped even just a little, especially to make you feel a little less alone.
Eventually you broke the silence with a sight. “I'm sorry.” You felt regulus's hand stop moving, he stayed silent for a moment.
“Why are you apologizing? You haven't done anything.” By the sound of his voice you knew he was frowning, he knew exactly why you were apologizing but a part of him was hoping, praying, that he was wrong.
“For being this way. You shouldn't have to deal with this. We're not kids anymore, I should be over these feelings by now.”
Regulus sat up, making you sit up in the process, reaching over to the lamp on the bedside table turning the light on. “Do you choose to feel this way? Do you make the conscious decision to feel like this?” Regulus was looking you in the eyes with raised eyebrows waiting for a response.
“Not necessarily, but-”
“Exactly, you don't. You can't control your emotions. You didn't ask to feel this way nor do you choose to. There's no point in apologizing for something that you have no control over. Your brain is amazing and beautiful but sometimes it isn't the nicest to you and that's okay. Do you know why? Because even if your brain is mean sometimes it still makes you who you are and you're so amazing, mon cœur. We’ll take care of this together like we always do. It's going to be hard sometimes but it is not impossible, and I'll always be here with you every step of the way, because I love you more than anything, tu es ma raison de vivre, mon amour.”
Regulus cupped your cheek and whipped a few tears you didn't know you had shedded. All you could do was whisper a ‘thank you’ as you threw yourself in his arms. 
You fell asleep that night in Regulus’s arms while he whispered sweet nothing to you.
You weren't better by any means but you felt loved, you felt understood. You knew that no matter how hard things got, Regulus would be there for you, every step of the way.
⨯ . ⁺ ✦ ⊹ ꙳ ⁺ ‧ ⨯. ⁺ ✦ ⊹ . * ꙳ ✦ ⊹
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chloegirlgay · 2 days
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Shattered Relics
A new Overwatch grunt who isn't quite ready for the field finds themselves enmeshed with a sweet archaeologist who saves them from peril. Venture x reader, hurt/comfort, romantic by the end. CW for non-life threatening injuries. Word count: 3014
This is something I wrote primarily for myself as a result of my Venture obsession and as an experiment in first-person writing, but feel free to insert yourself into it too if you'd like. The reader is gender neutral, after all. Loosely based on Venture's animated intro.
---
As the sands near Petra came into view, the reality of joining Overwatch fully hit me for the first time. It was possible, albeit difficult, to repress the anxiety in the training simulations. Here, thousands of miles from home, it simply wasn’t tenable anymore. I approached the front lines, where Overwatch soldiers were in conflict with Talon operatives attempting to steal a cache of precious artifacts. I wasn’t high rank enough to know any details about the artifacts, but the higher-ups seemed confident that their security was a critical task for Overwatch.
I repeated what I had to do in my head. Steady grip. Careful aim. A bullet whizzes past my head. Shit. Shit. I’m going to die. I drop the gun, falling to my knees in the sand. I knew this was a bad idea. I could hear shouts, but I couldn’t make out any of the words. Another bullet impact, far above me this time, followed by a horrible crack. I’m only able to look up for a moment before a shard of rock hits me, and consciousness fades.
---
The first thing I noticed on waking up was the red sandstone ceiling above me, followed by my surroundings. I was lying on a sleeping bag in a small cavern, next to a tent and unlit fire pit. Definitely not where I was earlier. Well, I’m not dead. The next thing I noticed was the intense pain shooting through my body. 
“Ow. Fuck. Ow.” I couldn’t restrain myself from shouting aloud to no one in particular. To my surprise, there was a response.
“Oh!” An exclamation, far too chipper for the situation, came from nearby. “You’re awake! I was starting to worry you were gonna be history.” A mop of messy brown hair mixed with sand, dirt, and a pair of extremely scuffed goggles came first out of the tent, followed by the rest of the strange person.
I was dazed. “Who… are you… with Overwatch?” My speech unsteady, I tried to sit up. Sharper pain shot through my legs. I winced and fell back down.
“I, uh, wouldn’t do that.” The strange person frowned. “You got beat up pretty bad.” They reached out a hand for a shake before realizing my position couldn’t accommodate such an action, sheepishly retracting it. “Sloan Cameron. I’m with the Wayfinder Society.”
I managed to pull myself together at least enough to hold a conversation. “So what am I doing here, I guess is my question.” I asked flatly, still stunned.
“Oh! Well that’s easy to explain!” Sloan’s eyes lit up. “So. We’re here at Petra trying to find some cool artifacts. I’m here, drilling away-” They gestured to the incredibly large drill resting beside their tent. “And I hear a bunch of commotion outside. I try to ignore it, but some Talon goons break in looking for any of our finds, so Venture jumps into action!”
I smirk. “Venture?”
Sloan glances away, embarrassed. “It’s uh, my codename. I think it’s cool. Anyway, I drove them out of the digsite and decided to help out the Overwatch fighters get rid of the rest of those Talon jerks.” The word wasn’t harsh, but their glare and tone made their hatred clear. “Oh! And then I spotted someone trapped under a rock. That would be, uh. You. And I couldn’t bear to leave someone injured there, so I carried you back here!”
“Thank you. I-” My incoming apology is cut off by a cough.
“Here.” Sloan lay a gentle hand on the nape of my neck, propping up my head and pouring water into my mouth. I hadn’t realized how dry my throat was - I wasn’t used to the desert. Their hand was rough, calloused from the hard work of excavation, but it still gave a tender, caring touch. My eyes fixated on their other hand, clutching the flask of water, and I slowly moved my gaze along their arms. Nicely toned - can’t be easy lugging around a drill that size. They were able to carry me, too, so they must be pretty strong…
“Ay. Eyes up here.” Sloan said sternly. When I met their eyes with mine, they gave another wide smile. “Figured if you were staring you’d at least want to see my famous smile.” One of their front teeth was chipped, but it didn’t affect the infectiousness of their joy one iota.
Caught red-handed, I couldn’t help but feel a bit of shame, even if they didn’t seem to mind that much. I finished the last of the water and let my head hit the sleeping back again. “So… Venture? Uh… Sloan?” I said, ending off with a lilt of uncertainty.
“Either’s fine!” They cheerily replied.
“Good to know. So, what about those artifacts you’re protecting?”
“Aha! You didn’t doubt Venture, did you?” They rummaged through their pack, furrowing their brow for a moment before triumphantly retrieving a small golden object with the face of Anubis. “This little ushabti is something I’ve chased for a while. It used to be in Cairo, but now it’s here in Petra. Now, you might notice that it’s shaped like Anubis. I’m not sure why it was brought here of all places, but I have some theories-” They stopped suddenly. “Sorry. I’m rambling.”
“No! Go on, I like your enthusiasm.”
“Really? Most people outside of the Society get bored. Anyway, I think there must be some kind of group here worshiping Anubis. I don’t have any proof of it yet, but why else would they bring it here?” They put a hand on their chin. “I guess they could just be thieves, but that’s way less fun.”
“Well, if you’re able to fight against those Talon soldiers, I assume you’ve got the wherewithal to deal with whatever horrible curses you’ll dredge up by disturbing a ritual site.” I joked.
“Oh my gosh. Do you think it’d be cursed? That would be so cool.” Their eyes were wide, lit with excitement. “I shouldn’t keep you up, though. You should really get some more sleep. I’ve called some of my colleagues back at base camp. They’re gonna come by and get you later tonight and take you back to get some actual medical attention.”
“Are the other Wayfinders like you?”
Sloan laughed. “No, they’re much more serious. They let me do my own thing.”
My mood soured, and from Venture’s expression it was visible on my face. “That’s a shame. I was really enjoying listening to you…”
“Hmmm…” Their eyes wandered as they lost themselves in thought. “I mean, you’re totally free to stay in my room at the outpost if you can’t get enough of little ol’ me.” They shot a pair of finger guns along with a wink.
“I… I’d like that.” I said, eyes fluttering closed. “If it’s not too much of a burden.”
“Course not!” Even with eyes closed I could tell from their tone they were grinning. “It’s a date.”
---
The boundary between sleep and consciousness was thin. My body needed the rest, but my mind was sick of sleep. By the time I finally woke up fully, night had fallen. The air was cold, but a fire now crackled at the formerly ashen fire pit. I made an effort to sit up - a successful one, this time. Perhaps the injuries weren’t as severe as I’d thought?
“Howdy hey.” Venture gave a quick wave from beside the fire. They were now wearing a thick yellow jacket and seemed considerably more comfortable, though they had a fresh few markings of dirt on their face. “Glad to see you up. I made some tea; ya want some?”
I nodded, and they passed over a nondescript mug filled with an enchantingly warm tea. “I’m surprised you’re able to keep this from breaking. I mean you’ve got to move around so much in this line of work…”
“Oh, they break. That’s why it’s so boring and cheap.” They said. “Plus, it means that my bags always come back with pottery shards even if I don’t find anything!”
I laugh and take a sip. “Well, the tea inside is still nice. Thank you.”
“Of course! My culinary skills are second to none.” They laughed a bit before adding quietly, “They don’t let me cook back at base after the incidents.”
I paused for a moment, then continued to sip a bit slower. “You’ll have to tell me about that some time.”
“Aaaaaaanyway-” They said, cutting me off a bit. “Your, uh, low-tech medivac will be here soon, and I can show you around the Wayfinder Society Petra Forward Operating Base! Hope you can used to rooming with two other people though, it might get a bit cramped.”
“Two? I didn’t know you had a roommate. I hope it won’t be too much for them.”
“Ah, it’s really no worries. Rosetta loves people!”
---
The trip from Venture’s makeshift campsite to the Wayfinders’ larger outpost wasn’t too long, though the terrain meant it wasn’t exactly the smoothest ride. Still, it was worth it to avoid the whiplash of hot days and cold nights of the desert. The outpost was sterile and scientific, upsettingly similar to the Overwatch training simulations I’d grown to despise, but it was nice to be somewhere climate controlled for the first time in a few days. 
“Here we are! Not much, but it’s mine. And now yours!” Sloan excitedly said upon us reaching their tiny room. Despite its size, it managed to contain a bunk bed and plenty of the archaeologist’s trinkets.
“You mentioned a roommate? Are they here?”
“Oh, Rosetta? Yeah, she’s over there.” Sloan pointed toward a nearby table.
Puzzled, I followed their finger. The table had a small rock with googly eyes stuck on. “Venture.” I said flatly.
They were grinning. “Anyway, I gotta go talk about my findings to the higher-ups. Feel free to get to know each other. I’ll be back later byeee-” They trailed off as they half-jogged away from the room. They really were a strange one.
“Well. Just you and me, Rosetta. How are you doing?” I asked, still harboring some strange belief that she might respond. She did not. I guess I shouldn’t have been surprised that a rock did not respond, but Venture’s attitude toward it gave me some pause, even if it was… unlikely. In lieu of a conversation with an inanimate object, I chose instead to view the baubles Sloan had chosen to bring along. It was a surprising amount for someone so nomadic, a table covered in rocks given less reverence than Rosetta, along with a few pictures stuck to the wall. There were a lot of pictures of Venture at the pyramids, smiling that wide smile that I had already become so fond of, along with a varied collection of other rocks. These didn’t seem to be given personalities, however.
I was still sore from my injuries, so I sat down on the edge of the bed and checked my phone. No messages. Of course. The rest of Overwatch probably thought I was dead. Probably for the best, as this might have technically been deserting. At least the signal was good. I flicked through social media idly. Nothing particularly interesting, but at least it was a distraction.
I lost track of time, and a quick knock at the door jolted me back to reality. It had been longer than I realized if they were already back. They gently opened the door and I immediately realized something was wrong. They were holding two ice cream cones, but their face was sunken.
“Want one?” They offered one of the cones to me, eyes staring straight down. I took it carefully, suddenly deeply concerned for them.
“Am I… causing trouble, Sloan?”
They shook their head, their mop of hair shaking with it. “It’s not you, don’t worry. I am just frustrated.” They flopped onto their bed, one hand raised to carefully protect their own ice cream. “Mind if I complain? I know you’ve dealt with a lot, but…”
I took a lick of my ice cream. “Go ahead. I want to know what happened.”
They sighed deeply. “I told my higher-ups about that ushabti I showed you. I told them that there had to be a deeper reason for Talon bringing it here. They looked me right in the eye and said I was being unrealistic; that it was probably just that Talon was stealing it to fund their activities.” They took a big bite out of their ice cream, then continued, voice quavering. They were on the verge of tears. “They don’t believe in me, y’know? They think I’m a kid. I’m twenty-six! I’ve been with the Society for ten years!” They winced. “Ow. Brain freeze.”
“Are you worried they’re gonna like, fire you?”
“Nah. Nobody else can fend off Talon agents like me, so my job security is really high. I just wish they’d believe in me.”
I thought for a moment. “Best way to get them to listen is to find some more proof.”
They sat up, trying to maintain their composure. “That’s what I was thinking. I didn’t expect anyone else to think it was a good idea. Usually people don’t.”
“I mean, I can’t exactly help directly… but I’d be happy to stay with you and provide whatever I can.”
“You can accompany me back to the dig site if you want. I’d enjoy the company at the very least.” They smiled bashfully. “Oh! We should probably wait until you’re healed, though.”
I took stock of my body. “A few more days should do me. I’m really not hurt as bad as I thought. Anxiety got to me, maybe.” I finished off my cone. “Do you guys get ice cream a lot here?”
“Nah, this is a treat since I had a bad day. I’ve got connections at the cafeteria.” They finished theirs as well. “Ice cream always makes me feel better. Working at an ice cream parlor was the only other job I’ve had. I was so excited that I could eat as much free ice cream as I wanted while on the job…” They sighed dreamily. “Turned out I couldn’t. I had just assumed that I could.” They grinned. “I got fired.”
---
A few more days of rest had me together enough to go out in the field. While Venture told me not to push myself and that they were fine waiting for me, I could tell in their eyes that they missed the digsite. There were other things I noticed about them, of course. The way their laugh sounded, their chipper greetings in the morning, the way their body curved in just the right ways…
It was worth spending the day in the hot desert sun, watching Sloan as they sunk deeper and deeper into the earth below them. Their beautiful hair was smothered by dust and sand, sweat pouring in rivulets down their face, goggles making impressions around their eyes. They were still beautiful, despite it all.
“SLOAN!” I yelled, trying to be heard, over the din of their excavator. “DO YOU WANT TO BREAK FOR LUNCH?”
Their excavator shut off, the drill spinning to a halt. They panted for a moment, then pulled off their goggles. “I uh…” They struggled to catch their breath. “If you need to, go ahead. I wanna go just a little bit deeper. The ground feels like it’s getting softer? It makes no sense.” They grinned. “I’ve gotta be close to a big discovery.”
I watched from a distance as they spun their drill back up, and slowly sunk beneath the earth into their current borehole. Slowly their head sank, and then they vanished, along with a scream. Shocked, I ran over and found the hole they were digging had collapsed into a much larger cavern.
“I’m okay!” Venture’s yell echoed from the bottom of the cavern. “Can you throw a rope down? There should be one in my bag.”
Trying to manage my panic, I hurried over to Venture’s bag and found a length of rope. I tied it to a nearby pole for the tent and threw it down the hole. “Sloan? Did you get it?” I shouted down. No response. “Venture?” Still hearing no response, I checked the strength of the rope. It was secure enough. I carefully climbed down, fearing the worst.
At the bottom of the pit, I began desperately searching for Sloan. It didn’t take long. They were standing in a strange glow, totally entranced by something ahead. I put my hand on their shoulder and saw it too. The far side of the cavern was dominated by a huge artificial structure, or perhaps a titanic Omnic - and it had the face of Anubis. I stood stunned.
After a brief moment, Venture broke the silence. “I knew something had to be here… I wonder, is this based on the Egyptian god, or the AI Anubis…” They trailed off for a moment before noticing my hand on their shoulder. “Oh! You’re here! I can’t take this. This has the potential to define my work for decades. I need to get more people out here. Gosh, there’s so many emotions.” Their eyes met mine. “I, um. Can I?”
I nodded silently.
They leaned in, cupping my face in their calloused hands. I wrapped mine around their shoulders, fingers in their messy, matted hair. It was not the most delicate kiss, but as I fell into their grip and let their lips meet mine, I couldn’t have asked for a more beautiful one. They held on, squeezing me tight, backlit by the glow of their new find. 
When they finally pulled away, eyes wide with joy, I managed to summon enough bravery to ask Sloan a question. “So, does this mean I can stay with you and the Wayfinders?”
They grinned. “It’s an unusual situation, but with a find like this, I’m sure they’ll be happy to keep you on as my special research assistant. And I’m happy to keep you on as my partner too.” Sloan said with a wink.
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leoneliterary · 2 days
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(english is not my first language, so I tried to word it the gentlest I could, genuinely curious!)
Is there a reason to why the characters are playersexual? I tend to think playersexual characters are kinda boring, and those who have their own view and experiences with their sexuality feel more personable! Even Desma who could have had a crush on MC since they were young seems to have experience beyond MCs gender. Though I do think it's interesting to explore awakenings, and how the ROs deal with being in love with someone they thought they would never, or even a first love awakening! Thank you for your hard work!
(Thank you! And don't worry, my multilingual friend! More than happy to talk about how I think about these things.)
It's interesting, because I've never found playersexual characters boring, although I didn't really know they were called 'playersexual' until I started writing this and picked up some of the lingo. It's very possible that I'm using the term wrong, but to me, it just means that all the characters are available to be romanced by any MC.
One reason I made the ROs open to being romanced by anyone is to avoid anyone getting locked out of romancing a favorite. You don't feel like you're secretly not their type or that you're a second choice. I think it can make the romance feel more real and genuine, but that's just my personal opinion.
Another reason is because I really don't think too much about the character's sexuality outside the MC, unless it is relevant to the plot. This ties into my writing process as a whole! Under the cut is a pretty detailed analysis of how I write ROs and the MC. Shouldn't be any spoilers, but just in case.
When I come up with a character, I think of them first as a standalone character, and then as a love interest. I imagine the story that I'm telling from their perspective. That tells me their goals within the narrative and how the MC can relate and interact with them. Then I think about how they look from the MC's perspective.
When I think of their life experiences, it's in reference to how they appear in the story. To me, this helps them be more alive and fleshed out. How do they walk, talk, think, etc, and where does that come from. That's where I get some of the more detailed stuff. Laverna is pragmatic because both of her parents are. Sarai is guarded because she's learned the hard way that she has to be. Merikh loves and hates the color blue because it reminds him of home. And so on. These characters need to have things that make you want to know them better and possibly romance them, but they also need to be characters that impact the story, even if you don't romance them.
When it comes to the ROs, I also have to think about the characters falling in love with the MC. The MC has a core character. You play as a person that has felt abandoned, been both lost and found, and that has had to struggle to survive. The three things that attach the MC to the story are the mentors, the guilds, and the heavy hand of destiny. Now the challenge is, now that I've established these narrative rules, how do I make love possible. What does falling in love look like for each RO with the MC? Not just an FMC or an MMC, but also an MC with a high cruel stat or a high warmhearted stat.
All of this is to say that former lovers and experiences in sexuality don't factor heavily into how I develop my characters, at least not all of them. For example, Merikh and Sarai both have a relevant previous experience that contribute to how they respond to intimacy and relationships, so romancing them means that will have to be addressed, but a good chunk of the cast have no previous lovers, meaning their reaction to romantic interest and love will be based more on the pressures they're under and the relationships they've seen.
Hopefully the lack of detail in this area isn't too jarring, but here is my thought process and reasoning behind it!
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beelzzzebub · 18 days
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guess who is so absolutely shit at everything that they are failing at school, won't have the gpa to keep their financial aid at the ridiculously expensive institution they attend, and is probably gonna have to move back home next semester
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sysig · 9 months
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Just be honest! (Patreon)
Bonus:
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Could be :)
#Doodles#Wander Over Yonder#Emperor Awesome#Commander Peepers#Maybe something less friendship and more something else Eyesome? :3c#Could be :)#Hhhh yet more fun poses and contact points! Especially Awesome's legs and Peepers resting his ''cheek'' on his hand :D#The slight squish upgrading to a full squish with the shape of his eye-cheek changing! I did that and I'm happy about it! Haha ♪#Plus how fun it is to draw him sitting lightly with his arm on his leg ah ♥ His proportions are so fun#Anyway ♪ Lol#Awesome's feeling all introspective and it's giving him the vapours lol#He's a hedonist! A coward! A gossip! Someone who coasts through life with no care to who he steps on! Except ♪#Not me thinking Peepers could be Awesome's Wander lol - ''If I stopped hating that one thing then what was the point of hating the rest?''#As soon as he starts seeing the humanity of one little guy where does that put him ♫#Personally I think he'd still be a mostly selfish jerk - at least for a while - considering how hard realizing he even Likes Peeps would be#Even here he's like ''This sucks! Being friends with you bites and not in the cool way!'' Lol#He's just being a baby and coming to terms with his feelings#And Peepers might possibly be picking up on that a little bit :) It's still comedically optimized not to worry lol ♫#Awesome is only starting to approach his own feelings but he's being very obvious - throwing a tantrum even lol#So Peeps noticing before Awesome realizing he should be hiding it way harder than he currently is - he just doesn't know yet!#Probably both blushing up a storm just before bed that night lol ''Can't believe I said all that to him'' ''He takes me seriously'' hehe <3#It feels good! Trust and understanding slowly building up :) That's what makes me interested in their dynamic! :D
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opens-up-4-nobody · 2 months
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...
#its so weird. i feel like march 5th went on for more than a day somehow. i guess that's just bc we were awake for just abt all of it#my dad wanted to start doing things immediately so he was calling and scheduling all day. we went to the funeral home we went to the store#and it was weird bc as we were moving around it was like wow we r a 4 person family now. this is it. and theres so much to do after a person#dies. or at least there is when they were loved so much and jesus christ my mom was one of the best ppl a LOT of ppl knew. she did so much#for so so many ppl. and with her childhood she had every reason to b a fuck up but no she was kind and selfless and amazing. her mother is#trying to bask in the attention of her death when its like: truely go fuck urself. her being such a good person has nothing to do with u. u#treated her appallingly. fuck off. and fucking everyone knows it. god. she is a product of her grandparents kindness. and it sounds like her#dad was amazing like her. but he tragically died in a car wreck when she was 3. she was in the car. no one in my mums family believes in a#god now. too many bad things happened to the shining gems in a collection of wild alcoholics. but its not all bad. my family's staying close#my dad is taking it hard bc this means hes alone now and my mum took care of so many things bc she was so smart and he feels so dumb. he#feels he didnt deserve her. hes working on giving more hugs now. and hes using us to anxiously talk things out the way he did with mom#which is good. i cant imagine if this happened when we werent 3 adults and he was windowed with 3 kids to raise himself. and its funny. were#saying things we never would have told her. we looked thru pictures of her and she was so so beautiful. a total smoke show. my parents were#a cute couple who produced cute kids. and my mom had trouble communicating and being affectionate tho we knew she loved us there was#distance. theres a pic of my dad pulling her close and shes being tippef towarf her while standing away and thats indicitive of their#relationship. they were 2 partners who lived together independently and that worked but its sad bc my mum couldnt b vulnerable in her#expression. ppl r being so kind tho. ill be in ohio now for like 2.5 more weeks as the funeral stuff shakes out. we have to have 2 bc she#grew up away from her and so many ppl loved her in both locations. she was a popular lady. its so weird to b here on pause. but i feel clear#in my head. i think this will change a lot of my outlook on life. its nice to focus on the person she was and not the horrible 12hrs where i#saw her half dead. i cant imagine how awful it was for my sisters and dad to see her downslide into death. she didnt expect this to b The#Fever that killed her but it did and now she'll never finish a million things. and the house is full of pill bottles and all her junk and#unopened amazon packages and a truck with the fuel left on empty. bc she was an absent minded goofball. ay. well miss her so much#unrelated
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yutaleks · 3 months
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Hi aleks, sometimes I feel like, no one wants to connect on this social media site? Idk. The like to rb ratio is depressing. I mean, I’m grateful that people are liking my posts. But like. I wanna hear what they think too, ya know?
not sure if you are a writer im guessing from the wording of this ask that you are. but I think it's a bit hard these days to get the level of interaction that you may be asking for
depending on what fandom youre in or what character youre posting about or what trope youre writing etc etc the size of the audience will change. like I already know in my mind if im writing something that is more geared towards stereotypical heteronormative relationships that will get much more interaction than something that is subversive. or if im writing a fic for a popular character that will get much more interactions than a not so popular one.
But at the same time, coming from someone who used to write for a very popular character, I have to say that the grass is not always greener? As in, I think there is a difference between quantity and quality of interactions. If im writing something that I know a core base of people who follow me will like, I know I will most likely get at least some sort of interaction from people who typically enjoy that content. I find that interaction to be more meaningful, especially if it's something I enjoy talking about. vs, if I write something with a bigger 'audience', perhaps there will be more reblogs but the back and forth interaction does not happen. that person will read the fic, reblog or leave a comment, and then be on their way. It does not create this relationship where you end up having a back and forth conversation or becoming mutuals or anything like that (at least, in my experience).
Like if I post a fic that EYE enjoy, and I get ten comments from lovely people, that means more to me than a hundred interactions on a fic I didn't put my whole dick into. ya know?
idk where im going with this. I guess I wanna say if you are passionate about something, and you receive even a few bits of feedback, that will feel so much more rewarding than trying to 'chase' the feedback by writing things you think others will enjoy. and I think too that people will be able to tell when you are writing something that you feel passionate about.
im of the opinion that you can't force people to reblog and interact with your work. ive seen every excuse under the sun for why people wont reblog. but I think if someone feels as passionate about something as you do, they will overcome whatever shyness they feel to come tell you that they appreciate what you are doing
#idk if what I said makes any sense but#I think coming into Tumblr as a writer its okay to want a better rb to like ratio but don't feel discouraged#there is a lot stacked against you right now#no one that I know uses the tags anymore cause they are full of spam#so sometimes the fics that appear on the dashboard are just mutuals reblogging each other. and as a newbie those circles are hard to get in#so someone with no writer mutuals and no following... their posts wont be seen by anyone with significant pull/reach#I would say that I think 'bigger' writers on here should at least try every once and a while to peek into the tags and boost writers#that are new / starting out and making genuine efforts to write#I wont explain but I think when you've been on here long enough you can tell who is posting in the tags for 'Tumblr clout' and who I postin#fic bc they genuinely are passionate about it#but I know most writers on here only read whatever they see on their dash#if people actually stopped spamming the tags with nonsense and the tags were more useable I think we would all use them more... ironic#anyway. I personally always try to reblog fics with comments and check the tags every once and a while for fics to read#I think that is best practice for writers but I know not everyone does that...#in the same vein#i think if you put effort into being a good reader consistently. writers with larger followings will notice / want to be mutuals and help#boost your writing to the dashboard#writing fic is a community that takes genuine effort to grow#TLDR: be a good reader and reblog fics and interact with writers. write things that come from your heart. interactions will follow with tim#*time#long post#ϟ asking aleksandria
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raayllum · 11 months
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hit upon an interesting realization regarding re: fandom fatigue in a way that i think is like, 75% internalized and maybe 25% external, which is to say: i’m tired of trying to convince people something is Good, particularly in the more than post 7-8 months since s4 aired. not that those feelings weren’t there before, but i’m tired of, idk. i don’t post to convince anyone of anything on purpose, but i’m definitely more hesitant to post theories now when i know they may attract more attention than i want in general, nevermind in an unsavoury way, or they’ll be cruel/smug when any given theory i’ve had is wrong or whatever. 
i’m not unaware of my high follower count and some of what that means in fandom, even if i do my best to ignore all of it because it’s Weird, but there have been times i’ve wondered about having another, secret side blog or something, just for meta or whatever, to have some distance. i’m tired of fanon / fandom / whatever else is attached to the show and the cast and crew filtering in and getting in the way of my enjoyment, i suppose. i’m here to engage with the story, not people, if that makes any sense?
i’m tired of seeing the same old arguments or points of contention about the same old things. i’m tired of the lack of faith or patience or grace for drawn out storytelling and bad faith reads. i’m tired of people pre-judging something before its released or finished. i’m tired of feeling like i have to convince people that i am a person, that my meta has merit since its based in what i got a degree in / make my livelihood in. tired of feeling like people take will always take my shit in bad faith or detract for whatever shallow reason they have, of people who ‘rebuttal’ but can’t actually analyse because like, i truly am all for different interpretations, but if you don’t ground that in an explanation and examples it’s just... so weak? an opinion, not meta.
and i think some of this overall fatigue has been compounded by pride month and the general somewhat emotional rollercoaster of the past 6ish months of my life all having overlap but
idk it makes me want to unplug and then re-plug myself into only the best of what i want to see and create and engage with. which is probably on me for not curating what i am seeing enough, or as much as i could be. but yeah, definitely time to reaffirm the Sign and start living by it again, because most of the time i do not have the bandwidth to even consider all this, but shit’s been hitting different lately & not in a fun way - so time to reassess, i suppose 
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pollen · 4 months
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hii it's been awhile since i've given any updates about what's going on with me but!!! i think we're moving back to oregon at some point. and i'm gonna make grad school happen. i'm so yhappy
#i'm going to oregon sometime this quarter but it's gonna break my heart because i have to leave again#idk the col is so much higher there than here. you can buy a whole three bedroom house for $200k here#a 3 bed in oregon is at least twice that#and rent is insane. $1100 for a beautiful 3 bed here. or twice that for something less nice in oregon#well. not HERE here jesus the suburbs are expensive. but in central pa where we're thinking of moving#which is like.... the best place to retire in the country? what's with that. low col probably LOL#and lately i've been feeling so..... lost? the ego death i went through in 2023 was incredible#and like. do i NEED to go to grad school to get a well-paying job in my field? no i have almost 7 yoe#but i'm missing feeling good at something. and the networking. and the portfolio work i can do. so it wouldn't be about employablility#though that helps. idk i'm gonna try to get my undergrad loans paid off as much as i can (only 30k left on the ones in my name 🫠) this year#while working on freelance projects and all that. it just feels good having a direction that doesn't feel completely hopeless#because it's been so bleak lately. like. got laid off from an agency i poured my soul into (not doing that again unless it's my own)#experienced something deeply personal and destabilizing i don't feel comfortable sharing#moved across the country while i didn't have a job and was processing that trauma to a place where i know no one#i got so lonely and so alone that i thought i would die. i didn't really have anyone to turn to while i did the work of reliving#started drinking a lot to cope bc i didn't have a medical card. was truly miserable. got a medical card. wasn't miserable anymore#and now i'm working and less anxious and feeling supported and stable in my relationship. and i feel myself coming back to myself.#it's been so hard but i'm so glad to be seeing the end of it. and to see good things and happy things in that
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catominor · 5 months
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This Years Thoughts On Reading. tbh
the past year i read a lot more than i had in quite some time. to be fair, i didn't finish most of the books i started, didn't start most of the books i want to read, and spent most of my time wasting time on social media still (i don't know why i can't stop doing this. i don't even enjoy it past a certain point). i didn't do well in my university classes. but for a really long time i've found it very difficult to read at all, even to read fiction. i read a lot of fiction (by my standards) this year, especially historical fiction set in ancient rome (though i also read some other good books, favorites among which are probably queer by william burroughs, night side of the river by jeannette winterson, and invisible cities by italo calvino. i also read quite a few short stories and a bit of poetry), i read or started /some/ nonfiction, i read or started /some/ ancient literature, and i had a poem and a short story published in my university's poetry journal and newspaper respectively...
but, really, i feel a little in over my head. i don't really feel like i can do this, by which i mean i still don't think i'm trying hard enough at university. i feel behind everyone else, despite the fact that since i've transferred to a different university having done 2 years before, i still have this and another year before i graduate. even though most of the people in my year will be 2 years younger than me i feel like i am behind them (did i mention that i did badly on my exams last year?)
especially before university i was never a particularly good student, honestly (i was like. a C average, though in my 3rd and 4th years of high school i started to try a little harder) and i think i spend a lot of time now fruitlessly wishing that i had tried harder and taken more of an interest in things. i still wish i tried harder. i still wish that passion was enough to fuel me to actually focus on filling out my historical reading. i wish i just didn't feel so stupid sometimes, honestly. sometimes i'll open a book that's a bit dense or technical and it just makes me feel like the biggest idiot in the world. i wish i was better at articulating my thoughts. i also wish i understood literary analysis or criticism. in a lot of ways now i feel dumber than i was a few years ago, and i don't know why.
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izzy-b-hands · 10 months
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I really wish blocking someone meant their stuff wouldn’t wind up on your dash at all. Like I understand why it doesn’t, but. still.
Actually, I just need to get better abt checking source urls before I reblog. I try to be mindful, but now and again I Forget and have only myself to blame lmao
#text post#I would love to reblog their art and be supportive in that way at least but tbh#every time I accidentally reblog it I remember checking out their blog and seeing how they talked abt fans that like Izzy and the izcourse#and it's like oh no that's right you hate ppl like me and ur art might be gorg but maybe we just shouldn't interact#they do their thing and I'll be over here doing mine#what really needs to happen is I need to remember to check urls on fandom art to make sure it isn't any of the folks I had to block lmao#but sometimes I get excited bc the art is genuinely lovely and i do like it and think the person is v talented!#and then i forget to check and it's only after scrolling my dash that i see my reblog and the url and go 'oh. fuck. that's right. damnit.'#it's a weird feeling to be like yes I want this person to have fun and make gorgeous art but also it seems#they've made it p clear how they feel abt folks like me and so maybe they would prefer i just fuck off#which i tried to do by blocking!! and yet. here we are#i delete the reblogs whenever this happens so they don't have me in their notes but#i do hope they know their art is lovely and I appreciate their hard work even if we wouldn't otherwise get along with each other#idek why I'm blogging abt this I guess bc I feel like usually it's either or online? like u either hate each other or u don't#but I don't hate the folks who sent shit to me or the folks who condoned it i just wish i had found a way to get along with them instead#as useless a wish as that probably is#and i don't talk abt it a lot but it really bugs the fuck outta me sometimes that we can't just start over and try to interact generally#no messages no trying to be friends just reblog from them if u like and otherwise ignore each other#which has been a thing that's worked fairly okay in other fandoms tho things have happened in others to change how workable it was#but for some reason in this one i feel like im just always walking on eggshells to interact w/anyone bc it feels like everyone is waiting#for someone else to say something they vaguely disagree with and instead of just like. blocking and moving on w/the fandom experience#it turns into a massive mess that even if ur on the fringes of it all you still get pulled into or sent shit and just.#idk it doesn't matter bc ultimately none of this does but dang it the show has been special to me and hits all my special interests#and it's hard to let go and accept that there's no changing how things went and how they are and how this fandom experience for me is often#very fucking lonely even when i'm bursting at the seams to share and to hear from others what they think abt anything and everything w/it#no one is gonna read this tag essay lmao pls scroll on
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