#they’re so unapologetic and in your face like this | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

tonycries · 28 days

Text

Welcome To The Itadori's! - C.K.

Synopsis. Three times Choso really, really wanted to hold you without his family barging in, and the one time he actually does.

Pairing. Best friend! Choso Kamo x Reader

Content. MDNI, fem! reader, childhood best friends to lovers, slowburn, cameos from the Itadori’s (Yuji, Jin, grandpa, SUKUNA), smút only when they’re adults, first times, oral (female receiving), cúnnilingus, marking, rough, Choso’s a bit mean in bed, pet names, swearing.

Word count. 5.0k

A/N. The unc-kuna brainrot got me here, Yuji’s family tree is HILARIOUS.

“You’ve never what?”

“I mean, yeah? So what if I’ve never…uh-” eyes darting to the erotic scene on-screen. “M’surely not missing out on that much.”

Maybe he was. Maybe he wasn’t. Whatever the answer was, Choso could only pray that no one walked into your apartment right now.

---

Choso swears his family is well and fully intent on ruining every waking moment with you.

He’s convinced even, at this point. Because in the 13 long years of being inseparable from you - ever since you were both whiney, snot-faced brats - Choso’s racked up more interruptions than he’s seen on those k-dramas that his grandfather swears he doesn’t watch.

It was like some cosmic joke, really. All he wanted was a moment with just the two of you…and maybe a second or two to confess his undying love. But that didn’t seem too realistic when the Itadori’s were a bit of a packaged deal, unfortunately.

Alas, Choso’s resigned himself to accept the fact that maybe - just maybe - this was the universe’s way of telling him that his pretty best friend was indeed too good for him. Something he’s suspected ever since the both of you were eight.

The realization had hit him like a semi-truck back then - five of them, in fact. And a whole zoo of animals afterward.

Of course, it’s not like that was any secret. He always thought you were perfect from the second you’d moved in - that new family next door he’d been eagerly waiting ages to arrive. And Choso, being the dutiful oldest son, was the one to deliver welcome cookies to your doorstep. Stumbling, and carefully trying to reach for the doorbell without dropping any.

“Um, welcome to-”

“Your hair’s funny.”

Now, Choso’s never greeted neighbors before, but it surely wasn’t supposed to go like this. Why was he being insulted by some little girl - you were missing a few teeth, and his had just grown back in so obviously he was much older and wiser. All unapologetic smiles and twinkling eyes as you blink up curiously at his space buns. Pretty, even when you were tearing his heart out because hey, he thought this hairstyle was cool, okay?

Which is what had him huffing and puffing back home, running straight into the arms of his dad while he tried not to cry. That is, until you came knocking at his door with your parents. Very much bawling and pulling him into a bone-crushing hug with wet mumbles of “M’sorry, meant your hair’s very cool. Wanna match-”

And, if his cheeks burned just a bit, well, Choso blamed the tears.

After a disaster like that, of course you’d grow to be best friends within the day.

But what that didn’t explain was when - after hours of bickering over whether to play tag or house - you were all tuckered out and sat beside him in a corner of his room, too exhausted to talk his ear off. Head lolling once. Twice. Falling softly onto his shoulder.

Oh.

Now, Choso might just be having the first epiphany of his entire, grueling eight years in this world - that you were very, very pretty fast asleep with your head on his shoulder.

Why? Why were you here barging into his life and turning it upside down? Calling him your “new best friend” and dragging him along wherever you went. It made his poor head absolutely spin, not daring to move a muscle so that you didn’t wake up and see this tiny predicament.

He didn’t know why. But what he did know was that he found himself subconsciously reaching for your hand, a strange little part of himself wanting to see how much smaller they were than his. They looked so soft and warm and-

“I WANNA PLAY T- Oh.”

Oh indeed. He hastily lurches away from you like it burned, hands raised like he was caught red-handed. Feeling slightly sorry when he sees you blinking away the sleep to take in your surroundings, eyes bouncing off of a very excited Yuji and resting on the clock.

“Oh no. Mommy’s gonna be mad.” you gasp, hastily getting up. And he feels a weird pang as you quickly dust down your dress, running out the door with a laughed out, “Bye, Yuji! See ya later, Cho~!”

“Bye, crybaby.”

And then it’s quiet. Only Choso still staring after you, and Yuji staring at his older brother, somewhat awestruck and wondering only one thing-

“Big bro, why are you so red?”

Choso doesn’t think he’s gotten a moment alone with you since that first initial meeting.

Fourteen was definitely the worst, in his opinion.

“Hey, Cho, y’know the girl sitting next to me in math said she had her first kiss today.”

“Oh.” It’s all Choso can manage to get out, paying more attention than he should to the gravel beneath him as he tries not to trip over air beside you. Hot under his uniform collar at the sudden shift in conversation from the usual after-school banter.

Looping your arm with his, you heave out a playful sigh, “I wonder what that feels like. Have you ever thought about it?”

No, but Choso has never thought that he’d be here - face burning at your body pressed up against his. Just knowing that his ancestors above are laughing at what a loser he is, barely able to stammer out an answer to your question.

Okay, maybe he was being dramatic. Because it wasn’t like he hadn’t thought about kissing before - it’s just that whenever it popped into his mind, you were usually accompanying him. Along with those strange thoughts of whether your lips are as soft as they looked? Or would your heartbeat be as fast as-

“Man, are you even listening?”

Shit.

Your hand waving in front of Choso’s face brings him back to reality. Blinking hastily, he tries to gather his thoughts, mumbling out a quick, “Uh, yeah, sorry. Just lost in thought.” averting his gaze as he feels the heat rise to his cheeks at your intense gaze.

Your smile only widens, a mischievous glint in your eyes as you nudge his side. “Thinking so hard about kissing, huh? Cho, you lecher!”

“Am not.”

“Am to.”

“Am not.”

“Am to.”

“Who were you imagining it with, huh? Gonna give ‘em a big smooch tomorrow?”

God, you were going to be the death of him. “N-no! I haven’t even- shut up, crybaby, it’s not like-” he sputters out useless protests over your laughter - his favorite song, even when you were teasing the hell out of him. But ah how you relish in his embarrassment, tittering out little giggles all the way until you’re steering him onto your lane.

Choso, on the other hand, keeps wishing the ground would swallow him up more and more with each step towards his porch. He’d have broken into a sprint right then if he hadn’t known you and the way you’d race him there instead.

“Alright.” you declare once you’re stood at his front door, jolting Choso out of his reverie. And he’s barely opening his mouth to register your words before you plowing on confidently. “We’ll just have to practice our first kisses with each other.”

Perfect. Great. Wonderful.

The final nail on his coffin. You might as well have planted a bombshell right in the middle of his already-chaotic world with the way he was reeling in- shock? Fear? Anticipation?

“Practice.” Choso whispers, more to himself than you. Yet you nod anyway, eyes locked with his like you were studying his reaction. “For…practice.”

Doubt starts to creep into your pretty features, “Well, we don’t have to if you do-”

“No no no no, I want- ahem.” he cringes at the pathetic desperation in his voice. Desperately trying to scramble back some semblance of sanity as he clears his throat, “I want to. Just-” Choso urgently looks around for- ah, there it is.

Dragging over the brick from the side of his porch because goddammit he might be 14 but he sure hadn’t hit that growth spurt yet. “Practice, right?”

You nod with a fiery determination that, later on, would make Choso chuckle with fondness. Muttering out a firm, “Practice.” Letting the boy in front of you nervously leans closer, breath fanning your face. And shit if you were nervous then you didn’t show it, but Choso felt like he was about to spontaneously combust.

Brows furrowing in concentration, eyes only squinting ever-so-slightly as he takes peaks at how pretty you looked. Close enough that he could count every lash as your pretty eyes closed shut, lips glistening with that strawberry chapstick you loved, puckering adorably. Only inching closer and-

Click!

“You two are so cute! But um- dear, how do you mute this thing?”

You spring apart so fast that Choso wouldn’t be surprised if you’d teleported. He doesn’t even know what’s happening before, from the safety of about three meters away from him, you’re muttering out an embarrassed little, “Hi there, Mr. Itadori. The gardenia are coming along nicely.”

His dad smiles like he hadn’t just starred in what was likely Choso’s villain origin story. Waving happily, “Aww, thank you, sweetheart. Now, why don’t you two go back to doing your lil’ thing and I can ah- practice my photography.”

“Dad, I’m running away.”

That practice kiss never happens. And, well, if there was a proudly framed photo down the hallway of the two of you - with Choso absolutely bright red and standing comically on a brick to meet your height, faces nervously scrunching towards each other - well, neither of you ever mention it. Jin Itadori does, though - every time you come over, in fact.

It’s only when you’re both eighteen, when Choso’s a lot deeper in his feelings - and only slightly less embarrassed about it - that he thinks that maybe not all family interruptions were that bad.

Graduation was…something. Not exactly something that he’s sure if he’ll ever want to relive with the sheer amount of awkward photos and tears that his dad lets out. God if he has to shuffle into another-

“You alright, Cho?”

Ah.

Traitorously, a smile makes its way onto his face, peering down at your beaming face. Both of you having made it way past the awkward early teens. Well, at least you certainly have - Choso still feels like the same awkward little boy with an even more awkward crush. “Hm? Yeah, m’great.”

“Are ya sure? Because you look like you’re about to have an aneurysm any second now.” you raise a brow teasingly. Ah, how gorgeous you were - even when you’re picking him apart.

“Yeah. Great. Only had this smile plastered on for the last five hours.”

“Aww, but you look so pretty smiling.” you shrug, with the audacity of someone that didn’t just have Choso’s knees dangerously weak. “Anyway- A bunch of us are gonna try to convince ol’ Yaga to let us take photos with his shades, you wanna come?”

“You think m’pretty?” he muses, embarrassingly late.

“Cho.”

“Yaga. Shades. Got it.” Choso mock salutes, drinking in the little laugh it startles out of you, eyes sparkling with mischief and looking right into his soul. Beautiful. You were always beautiful.

And Choso can’t just stand around and do nothing about it.

“Crybaby, look, I-” Fists clenching, he takes a steadying breath. The heat only rising to his cheeks at your awaiting gaze, “I…”

“HEY, GRANDPA HELPED STEAL YAGA’S SHADES LET’S TAKE A PIC-”

“SHUT THE FUCK UP ITADORI. YOU’RE RUINING A MOMENT, LET THEM HAVE THEIR MOMENT.”

“I don’t know either of you two.”

It would be a miracle for a moment not to be ruined with two overly-energetic first-years (and a very reluctant Fushiguro) pushing their way into your little bubble. Choso bites back a groan as you’re immediately swarmed by a bickering Kugisaki and Yuji, one apologizing for “ruining your k-drama moment” and the other trying to get you to put on some sunglasses. Well, at least he could empathize with the black-haired boy, who gave him an apologetic nod.

He’s only halfway through waving off the interruption before a voice speaks up from his side. “Why didn’t you say it?”

Whirling around, Choso comes face-to-face with the disappointed look on his grandfather’s face. Already having some idea of what you mean, “Wha-”

“I may be old but m’not deaf, yet, boy. Why didn’t ya tell her?” he sighs, tilting his head to where you were wearing those shades and taking ridiculous pictures with two animated first-years.

“I don’t know what you-”

“M’not blind, either. Quite frankly I’m insulted.”

And, well, if there’s anyone that he can’t hide from - it would be his grandfather. So he heaves out a defeated sigh, touselling his hair while muttering out a pathetic little, “M’not- Ugh, she’s too fuckin’ perfect and I…I chickened out.”

Choso doesn’t know what he expected in response but it definitely wasn’t for his grandfather to laugh. Full, and raspy - loud enough that even you stop to stare. “Thought so, idiot boy.” he chuckles, drawing indignant protests. “Did she tell you?”

Raising a brow, “What?”

“Did she tell you that you weren’t good ‘nough for her?”

“No, but-” Whatever protest on the tip of Choso’s tongue is cut off by a rough hand smacking his back in what he thinks is reassurance, but felt more like a punishment for being such a pussy around you all these years.

“Then go. Ya might just be surprised. After all, you’re my grandson, and all the ladies at bingo love me.”

Shaking with both adrenaline and the effort to keep that image out of his mind, he makes his way towards you. Purposeful. Pointedly ignoring the matching smirks flashed his way.

“You really think they’ll finally get together today?” Fushiguro deadpans from where he’d snuck up beside the old man, in an attempt to escape the public nuisances he calls ‘friends’.

Choso’s grandfather hums thoughtfully, watching the scene play out before him - Choso flushed such a delicate shade of pink as you playfully put Yaga’s sunglasses on him. Settling on a gruff, “I’ll give it a few months more. He’s my grandson, after all.”

“That’s generous. I’d give it a couple years more.”

“Wanna bet, brat?”

“...”

Safe to say, his second button ended up safely in your hands that day. But Fushiguro would be the one to really win the bet.

Because it was only 2 years, 4 months and 3 weeks after this little incident that Choso finally had you exactly where he wanted - with no interruptions. All for him.

Freshly twenty one, splayed out on your apartment bedroom and having a conversation that he never in a million years would’ve even dared to imagine he’d have - with you of all people. All because of that stupid R-rated film you’d put on for movie night.

“You’ve never what?” you gape, turning down the volume to those painfully fake moans coming from the tv.

Oh, how gorgeous you looked - all shocked and batting your lashes up at him in surprise. Choso almost swoons inwardly (and outwardly) before he realizes that shit you were probably waiting for an answer.

“I mean, yeah?” he sputters out, cheeks heating up as you lean in closer to hear him. Close. “So what if I’ve never…uh-” eyes darting to the erotic scene on-screen. “M’surely not missing out on that much.”

Goddammit, some strange, carnal part of himself twinges dangerously at the little smirk that curls your lips. One that he quickly - and embarrassingly - realizes has the blood rushing straight to his cock. Humming a low, “Maybe. Maybe not.” The mattress dips slightly as you shift closer, lips ghosting his ear. “Want me to help you find out?”

Which is, well, how Choso found himself shoved against the armrest. Blanket thrown on the floor now, swollen cock leaking furiously through his pants as your pretty lil’ cunt hovers above his mouth. So wet that if he stuck his tongue out he could have you dripping all onto him.

“Y-you sure about this, sweetheart?” he hisses despite his hands looping around your thighs, bringing you closer to him.

You raise a brow, “Are you sure, Cho?”

He should say no. He should laugh this all off as a bad joke. He shouldn’t ruin this friendship - but oh how badly he wants just a taste of your dripping pussy - see if she’s as sweet as the rest of you is. So, throwing caution to the wind, Choso nods slowly. “Yes. Want it s’bad.”

Grinning wickedly, you whisper, “Thought so.” And then he’s pulling you onto his mouth, hot and urgent.

“Oh fuck-” he groans, eyes rolling to the back of his head at the first taste of your sweet sweet juices. “Shit shit shit.” So sloppily licking up your swollen folds - barely moving with any method or patience, just that he’s drunk on your pussy and wants more more more-

“Hngh- f-fuck. You sure this is your hah- first time, Cho?” you gasp breathlessly. And oh your best friend was so fucking beautiful. Dark hair untied and tousled, eyes half-hooded, your slick already smearing across the bottom half of his face and trickling down his jaw because shit he was so messy. So addicted to that desperate expression on your face that he just can’t help but tease you a little bit.

“Mhm?” he smirks, tongue swirling around your pulsing clit. Purposefully missing right where you wanted him the most because shit he loved those cute lil’ whines spilling out of you.

You let out a huff, hips trying pathetically to inch him closer - but Choso wasn’t budging. Holding you so firmly by the hips that you’re sure he leaves bruises, licking all over your cunt except for your clit. “Cho.” you warn. Brows furrowing in frustration at the way he bats his long lashes up at you so deceivingly innocently, “What?”

“You know…”

“I don’t.” he titters teasingly into your pussy.

“Choso.”

Now, Choso’s known and seen everything there is to do with you - but never like this. Spread open shamefully and pouting so adorably on top of him, so needy for him. It made his head spin to think of just how much the dynamics had shifted.

Shit, he really should’ve watched that godforsaken movie with you sooner. “Tell me what you want, crybaby.”

And oh how his cock twitches at the way you manage to get out an embarrassed little, “Wan’ you to ngh- tonguefuck me properly. Wanna cum on your pretty face, Cho.”

And that’s all that’s said before he’s surging forward, glossy lips wrapping around your pulsing clit to suck harshly. Rolling his soft tongue over and over-

“Wanted this for so long.” Choso mutters, muffled as he buries himself deeper into your pretty pussy. The vibrations sending white-hot pleasure running down your spine. “You have absolutely no idea, pretty.”

And you barely even have the time to register his little confession before Choso’s moving down to bully his tongue past your folds. Nose pressing against your throbbing clit as he dips into your sloppy hole.

“Oh shit. Jus’ like that.” For a beginner, your best friend really knew what he was doing. Eating you out like his favorite meal, tongue squeezing into your snug pussy to thrust in and out, swipe against your walls, stretching you out right to his will. Over and over-

“Use me.”

Your eyes snap down to meet the pure adoration in his eyes as he makes out filthily with your cunt. Choking out a little, “What?”

“Use me.”

There it was again - that strained little mantra. And as if to prove his point, Choso reaches out to deftly place your hands on his head, bucking into you touch.

And, well, how could you say no to that?

Because before you know it, you’re bunching Choso’s soft strands in your fists. Angling him just right to ride his pretty face. “C’mon, Cho. Ngh- H-harder, jus’ a bit- Oh!” he just devours the way your mouth drops into an adorable little oh! as his tongue curls deftly against that one spot. Again and again. Letting himself be so used, dragging your dripping cunt harder on his mouth.

And he likes it. Hell, he loves it even - because you’re so sweet n’ pretty on his mouth. Better than everything he’s ever been dreaming of for the past few years. And always in his dreams, you’d be clenching so deliciously around his tongue when you were close - just like right now.

So he speeds up his movements, breathing you in maddeningly. A hand snaking down from it’s favorite place on your hips to draw quick, frenzied little circles on your poor, ravaged clit. Jaw almost aching with how filthily he was dripping in and out of your entrance - be he did give a shit. Only wanting to have you breathless and creaming all over his face.

You jerk violently on top of him, “Hah! S’too much, Cho. M’so close- gonna cum- gonna-”

And then you’re cumming. Fast, and hard.

Plushy walls clamping down on Choso’s tongue, hips stuttering on his face as he laps up all your juices, an arm around your waist helping you ride his face through your high.

“S’sweet. Could get used to that.” he slurs into your cunt. Tipping his head back as far as it’d go to let the last of your juices slide down his throat. “Better than I imagined.”

The words ring in your ears as you blink back your vision. Deliriously whirling down to look down at Choso - still beneath you and looking more smug and content than you’d ever seen him. “Imagination? S’that why you’re so good.”

“No.”

You’re being flipped before you know it. Manhandled so easily by your best friend as he lays you on your back, sinking into the cushion while he looms above you. “S’jus’ that…” grunting as he flings his shirt off, “Been dreaming of your pretty cunt on m’tongue for years.”

Okay, now his confession hits - more than it did when he was tonguefucking you into insanity, anyway.

“Years, huh?” you breathe out, eyes roaming all over his sculpted torso. Taking in every dip and curve of Choso’s toned abs - all the way from his broad shoulders to the rock-hard cock straining against his pants. As if in a trance, your hand reaches out to cup his leaking erection, “S’that all you’ve been dreaming of?”

“You little minx.” he lets out a low hiss.

Before you can even react, Choso’s fumbling with that belt - cursing because shit, he’d have worn sweatpants instead if he knew they’d end up on your floor.

And you’re not any better, fingers popping open his buttons and tugging impatiently and oh- You always thought that your best friend would have a big dick - but this? He was so intimidatingly long - and thick enough that you wondered whether you’d hurt yourself. Fat tip flushed such a pretty shade of pink to match his cheeks, leaking down down down, all the way to his heavy balls.

You’re only jolted out of your little reverie by Choso spitting a steady stream of spit onto your quivering cunt, spreading it lazily across your pussy with his thumb. A ringed fist pumping his cock slowly, as he drags his tip across your folds, pooling your sweet juices. Muttering out a raspy, “I’ll be gentle.”

“You better not be, now jus’ fuck me-”

Well, you didn’t have to ask Choso twice. Because you’ve barely gotten the words out before he’s bullying massive cock into your tight cunt. Pressing in inch by fucking inch as you gasp and buck underneath him.

“Shhh, s’okay, crybaby. This is what you wanted, right?” he mumbles, with all the audacity of someone that wasn’t fucking into you in rapid, mindless little jabs to fit inside your snug lil’ pussy. Struggling to hold back at this point. “Wanted to be split apart on m’cock?”

You were so full of him. Even more so when he throws your legs over his shoulders, bending all the way down and folding you in half so easily beneath him.

He drinks in the barely-lucid squeal that leaves your swollen lips. Kissing your forehead gently, whispering against the skin, “Because I’ve wanted this for so fucking long.”

And then it was like something snapped - maybe his sanity, maybe the restraint that Choso’s been holding back for too long. Because immediately he’s plunging his throbbing cock into you - all the way till his balls, all angry and squeezing so painfully, smacks against your ass.

“Wanted this.” he rasps into your open mouth. His hips were out of control now, thrusting you in shallow, desperate rams. Pounding into you like a man possessed, and running his mouth just as much. He laces his fingers on top of your head, pushing you down even deeper into his relentless cock - as if the bastard wasn’t fucking you dumb already. “Fuckin’ needed this needed this. Shit- so bad.”

“Ch-Choso- fuck hah-” you plead as his mouth clashes with yours. All sloppy with teeth and spit and his profanities - and it felt so damn good.

“Yeah? Who’s fucking you silly, now?” he’s going harder now, tip hitting your poor cervix over and over. And you’d be sobbing at the burn and the stretch but all you can think of is shit this is Choso - the kid you used to play hide and seek with. And now he seems fully intent on breaking you. “Say m’name.”

A rough thumb starts toying with your clit, in time with the cute lil’ whines of his name that escape your mouth like a prayer. “Shit. Y’look so pretty like this.” he babbles. “Gonna cry, pretty girl?” smirking down at the way you were too cockdrunk to even snap back, only looking up at him with delirious, teary eyes. “Be a crybaby for my cock?”

You’re tugging on his hair, thighs shaky and bucking upwards. “Cho-”

“Mhm?”

“W-wanna cum. Need you to fill m’up till I can’t take it anymore.”

Oh if Choso was any lesser man he’d have cum right then and there. Instead settling for a guttural groan, drunk off the way you were milking his cock so hard as if to prove your point. It almost made him want to stay like this forever. But no - not right now.

“Oh yeah?” Hips becoming sloppy now, “Need it? Shit- m’so close.” Each word slurred, punctuated by a harsh thrust, strokes long and frenzied. Using your heavenly pussy like his personal fucktoy. So hard that he’s sure you’d have embarrassing matching bruises tomorrow - his balls on your ass, your nails raking down his shoulders.

“Me too- fuck fuck fuck-” you mewl into his neck, as Choso buried his face into yours.

“Cum f’me, my girl.”

My girl.

And then you are - and he is. And you don’t know who cums first, just that you’re seeing stars behind your eyes and Choso’s teeth digging into your neck as he thrusts once. Twice. Before cumming and cumming so hard he might as well have seen the pearly gates of heaven. And you were an angel.

Thick, hot ropes of cum that paint your walls white, so much that it gushes out of your poor overfilled pussy. Dripping down your legs and pooling into a sinful, creamy ring at his base.

“Mm- shit. Choso.” you moan, barely audible over the lewd squelches from below.

“M’here, my girl.” he grits out, voice shot. And it seems that that was his new favorite nickname, because Choso keeps murmuring it over and over as he keeps fucking his seed into you. Not even thinking about it at this point - just mindless, shallow grinds of his hips.

In the haze of your orgasm, you think you hear his quiet voice, strained with exhaustion and something that you weren’t in the right state of mind to decipher right now.

“Shhh, m’here. “Can’t believe I waited so fuckin’ long.” Whispering against your lips, “Love this. Love this pretty cunt.” Kissing softly, “Love the way y’take me. Fuckin’ made f’me.” And maybe even a soft little, “Love you.”

And maybe - just maybe, you whisper the same into his. Kissing him softly, exactly the way you’d wanted to all these years.

Neither of you speak after that. Not when Choso’s hips stall, body sticky and collapsing onto yours. Nor do you speak when he pulls away with a playful nip to your lower lip - a promise. Searching through your clothes for a washcloth he can wipe yourselves clean with.

It’s only when he settles back under the covers beside you, looking at you with such dark, hazy eyes - whirling with too many emotions to name - that the silence is broken.

“Crybaby.”

“Cho.”

“Corny.”

“You started it.”

Chuckling, Choso pulls your body close to his. Not even a hair’s breadth between you two because shit now that he’s got you, he doesn’t think he ever wants to let you go.

“Y’know…” he starts, “I think we should- I mean- if you want…” nervous now more than he was even after all that just transpired. Cheeks flaring as he meets your amused gaze, just daring him to go on - because you saw through him. You always did. “I lov-”

“Am I late for the mov- WHAT THE FUCK I ALWAYS KNEW BRATS WEREN’T JUST FRIENDS-”

---

Itadori Family Groupchat + Two More

Dad: Hey, all. I can’t seem to get a hold of Choso to confirm tomorrow’s dinner plans. Can anyone else let me know if he’s ok? XX

-Jin.

Yuji <3: He’s probs at rhat “best friend movie night” still

Dad: Hello, Yuji. What is a “probs”? XX

-Jin.

Kugisaki: He’s suspiciously quiet, though… Y’all think that “best friend movie night” is codeword for something else?

Yuji <3: Better not be cuz Sukuna stole my sparw key sayin something ab crashing it idk

Kugisaki: *spare

And you just LET him?

Yuji <3: HE THREATENED TO BURN MY MEGAN THEE STALLION POSTER

…

AND DID IT ANYWAY

Kugisaki: L

Fushiguro: L

Gramps: L

Sukuna (do not answer): DID Y’ALL KNOW THOSE TWO WERE FUCKIN????

*Fushiguro has left the chat*

Dad: :0

-Jin.

A/N. Spiritually, this is a crackfic idk.

#choso x reader #choso smut #choso x you #jjk x reader #jjk smut #jjk x you #choso kamo x reader #choso kamo smut #choso kamo x you #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jujutsu kaisen smut #jujutsu kaisen x you #jjk #jjk fic #jujutsu kaisen #choso #tonywrites #choso kamo

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criminalamnesia · 20 days

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GOD I LOVE traitor and how strong you've made the reader. It's amazing! And I eagerly await any future parts, whether it's big proper story or drabbles. BUT, you come first and your life does so you do what you gotta and go be amazing! We can wait. Proud of you X

im so late to responding, but thank you! <3

here’s part six :) also not really proofread so I apologize for any errors! I’ll fix them later!

ALL PARTS CAN BE FOUND HERE

you don’t know how long you’ve been sitting on the floor, cross-legged amongst broken glass, brittle flowers, and discarded clothes, when someone knocks on the door.

you don’t move, don’t say anything. the noise seems distant— too far off to be real.

besides, if someone is really knocking on your door, they know you’re in here.

and if they know you’re in here, it could be one of five people. your former squad mates, or the doctor.

the knock sounds again. it shakes you from your stupor, yet you still make no move to answer it. let them come in; let them see what they’ve made of you. of who you were. of who you could’ve been.

the person on the other side of the door is speaking now. you register the muffled baritone as it fights to be heard from the hall.

you clench your fists, then unclench them— stretching out your fingers as far as they go. clench them again. unclench. stretch. repeat.

it’s a tick— a calming habit. you don’t think it’s working at the present moment.

the doorknob turns. you still don’t move.

the door is being pushed in, light from the hallway aggressively slicing through the darkness you’d left yourself in. you fought the urge to curl in on yourself.

you’d been so consumed by your anger— are consumed by it— but coming into this room and seeing that damn note was earth-shaking. it was terrifying, and it was a tangible reminder of the team’s unapologetic tactics. simon’s unapologetic tactics.

the voice is speaking once more, clearer now that the door is out of the way— but you can’t make out the words over the ringing in your ears.

a hand gingerly lands on your shoulder, and that’s when you snap.

you whirl around, throwing yourself into the intruder like a cobra striking its prey. clearly caught off guard, the person lets loose a ‘oomph’ and falls backwards as you take out their legs.

everything is fuzzy. the ringing in your ears crescendos, and it brings pain with it. you’re striking your target with reckless abandon, still not registering who is flailing underneath you.

punches land and land and land. nails scrape and scratch and draw blood. all you see is red— all you hear is the sharpening of a knife or the whirring of a saw.

and then there are hands on you, yanking you away from your victim. the red slowly starts to recede, the ringing in your ears subsiding.

it’s only then do you release you’re screaming.

its only then do you see the swollen and bloodied face of your doctor, lying a foot away from you. she sputters a cough, blood leaving her lips and splattering onto the man leaning over her.

“you need to calm down,” a voice speaks into your ear.

“calm down, or they’ll sedate you,” it says, and you finally stop screaming. you take a breath.

clench your fists. unclench. stretch. repeat.

it takes you another minute to calm down enough to realize the person holding you is simon.

the doctor is being carried away now, and you notice it’s johnny and kyle carrying her. you notice john is standing to your left, eyes full of sympathy and guilt as he looks at you.

“get,” you huff, reaching down to slap at the arms circling your middle. “off me.”

simon releases you instantly. you don’t hesitate to put distance between the two of you. a few feet, at least. he just stands there, eyes watching with an expression you can’t place.

“what happened, love?” john’s voice is a soft rumble as he speaks. he moves a hand toward you, but decides against touching you— even if he only wanted to comfort you.

“I—” you start, glancing down at your hands. they’re bloody again.

“I thought it was—” you try again, but stop yourself.

you thought it was what? thought it was who?

you had heard man’s voice speaking to you. your mind had twisted things— had given you something you wanted to hear, deep down— because it gave you the chance to strike.

it gave you the opportunity to tear apart whichever man from the 141 had been there to check on you.

and you know you had wished it was simon.

john takes a cautious step forward at your silence. “let’s get you somewhere private, yeah? somewhere to cool down.”

the fire licking at your veins has subsided in favor of the chill of shame. of terror at what you’ve done— what you’ve done to the one person you had on your side. the person who was truly on your side.

you don’t fight this time. you give a nod, then solemnly follow him down the corridor. simon falls in behind you.

john takes you to his office, opening the door and ushering you inside. you move without protest, stepping into the dark room.

the two men enter behind you, john flicking on the light while simon pulls the door shut. you would’ve laughed at the scenario if you were in your right mind.

but you weren’t.

you weren’t okay. you knew that you weren’t, at least physically, but what you just did…

there was no way you were going to be transferred now. you doubted you would’ve even before you attacked the doctor.

you’re going to be discharged. you understand why.

but it hurts. this is your job, your life. years and years on the battlefield don’t prepare you for life off of it.

“love?”

john’s voice brings you back to the present. you realize you’ve been standing in the center of the room, unmoving and unblinking.

you feel simon’s hard gaze on your back. you want to cry.

how did things ever get this fucked up?

“im fine.” you say, not bothering to turn around. you didn’t trust yourself to keep it together if you faced them.

“you’re not,” john states, and you roll your eyes.

“im not talking about this with you,” you bite out, circling your arms around yourself. “either of you.”

“you should at least talk to someone, love— this isn’t healthy.”

“please, stop.” you tell him, but john was never good at taking orders. he gave them, not followed them.

“you hated the therapist, and you haven’t spoken to anyone else since… everything.” he continues.

“stop, john,” you try again.

“you need to let it out, love. we’re here—”

you spin around then, fists dropping to your sides. “for the love of god, john, shut the fuck up.”

that stuns him into silence, eyes slightly widened and mouth agape as he looks at you. simon doesn’t move from his position near the door.

“you are the last people i would ever fucking talk to! I don’t even want to be talking to you right now, but you won’t stop trying. trying to talk to me, trying to make it up, trying to wriggle your way back into my good graces.”

you pause, sucking in a breath. “johnny must’ve relayed the message, and that’s why you’ve back off a little— but one wrong fucking move and you’re swooping again! you aren’t my dad, you aren’t my lover, you aren’t my friend, and you’re sure as hell not my fucking captain anymore.”

“so please, john, leave me be. the four of you have done enough.”

the room is silent for a beat, then two. then three. and then simon takes a step forward, removes his balaclava, and looks you square in the face.

he doesn’t open his mouth to speak, so you take the chance to.

“don’t start with me, simon. just don’t.”

“the note,” he says. “you read it.”

you just look at him, a disbelieving scoff leaving your mouth as you give a nod. “yes, I read your fucking note. and I saw the stupid flowers, too, after seeing everything else you wrecked. tell me, how long did you wait after you tied me up to tear it all apart?”

he just watches you. you want to scream.

the note flashes back into your mind.

‘hope you can understand.’

“does it make you feel better, thinking what you did was right?” you ask him.

“I wouldn’t have done it differently.” simon tells you.

you clench your fists. unclench. stretch.

breathe in, breathe out.

“and if the roles were reversed,” you said, watching him. “if you were in my position, would you have expected me to do what you did?”

“yes.” he says, without hesitation.

“you’re unbelievable,” you huff. “is that how little I meant to you? all that time, wasted?”

“that’s not what I said.” he tells you, and you shake your head.

“no, but it’s what you meant.” anger is bubbling up again. you feel overwhelmed; shame and fury battling inside you. the ringing building up in your ears again, emerging from the background.

you can’t do this.

“what i meant is what i said.” he takes another step forward. “you’re just too damn stubborn to listen, always have been.”

“just go, simon.” you tell him. “both of you. go.”

“I wouldn’t change what I did,” he says again. “to protect my team, my family, I would do whatever it takes.”

you bite your tongue. you don’t want to keep arguing with him. he was an unmovable object— there was no way to reason with him.

“im not sorry it happened.” he speaks. “i did what i thought i had to do. what i had to do to make sure my team was safe.”

“and you should understand that, considering this team is all you have, too.”

you don’t respond— and even if you were going to, a knock on the door breaks the tense silence in the room.

johnny pops his head in, his eyes full of concern. “doc’s alrigh’.” he says, his gaze catching yours. “jus’ some bumps and bruises. she’ll be jus’ fine.”

“and she uh— said she’s not pressin’ charges or anythin’. says she still expects to see ya in a few days for your check-up.”

that’s what breaks you.

a tear slips from your eye, falling onto your cheek. another follows, then another, and you’re sobbing as you fall to the floor of price’s office.

the three men are staring, but no one makes any move to comfort you.

probably wise, considering what you did to the last person who tried.

you faintly register the click of the door as it shuts again. you don’t look up— your head in your hands as you cry.

cry about what you’ve done, what you’ve lost. mourn your career and your family and your love for the man who doesn’t regret what he did.

unbeknownst to you, simon is the only one still left in the room. his steps are silent as he approaches you— leaving only a foot of space between your bodies now.

he watches you as he sinks to the ground across from you, his long legs folded over each other, the fingers of his left hand twitching as he finds himself wanting to reach for you.

he still cares for you. his feelings for you were what made him do what he did in the first place.

the love he felt for you, twisting into betrayal and hurt and agony. fueling his actions, his desire to hear you admit your wrongdoings.

passion made people dangerous. passion in love, passion in rage. it was a fine line, and simon had crossed it.

he understood what this meant for you. recalls the conversation he had with price earlier— how laswell was planning for your discharge instead of your transfer.

this was the end of your time with them, and in the military. the hands of the 141, damaging one of their own beyond repair.

he finds himself mourning alongside you, then. mourning what was and what could’ve been.

what should have been.

“im sorry for what we did to you,” he says, but it comes out as a whisper that you don’t hear.

“im sorry.”

thank you all again for your patience! I plan on tying this little series up soon :)

as a reminder, I no longer do taglists. if you want to be notified when I post, follow @troiastitans and turn on notifications. I only reblog my works there.

I hope you all enjoyed :)

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leashaoki · 11 days

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Can’t stop thinking about riling up Gojo, teasing him until he loses control and breaks beneath you. He’d be so patient for you, biting back curses as you rid him slowly; the tantalising pace driving him more insane with every buck of your hips. You’d watch as his long, slender fingers twisted in the bed sheets, knuckles turning white in an attempt to stop himself from grabbing roughly at your hips and taking you exactly how he wanted to.

“Come on baby, you can do better than that,” The cocky grin on his face does little to hide his frustration, the smile not quite reaching his crystal eyes; instead they’re laced with something insatiable, something threatening. Your walls clench around him at the sight of the hunger in his gaze and he whines, his brows furrowing.

“Please,” He’d whimper, the smug expression reduced to one that’s almost wanton, “Please, I need you. Need you so fucking bad.”

Your rhythm doesn’t change, if anything it slows even further. It sends Saturo’s resolve crumbling, breaking apart piece by piece with every minute that goes by. His brows are pinched in the centre, mouth open as he pants pathetically, whimpers leaving his soft, pink lips. You’re addicted to the fire behind his gaze, the blazing look burning amidst his blue orbs burning brighter than you’d ever seen.

A growl rips through Gojo’s throat, his strong digits digging into your sides, hard enough to bruise. “Fuck this,” Saturo mutters menacingly, a depth to his silky voice that sends shivers down your spine. One moment you’re bouncing leisurely on his length, the next you’re flipped around entirely, face buried in the sheets and ass in the air, “Now you’ve fucking done it.”

He thrusts into you roughly, unapologetic as his hips snap into you from behind. A crazed chuckle leaves his lips, watching the way your ass bounces against him with a lob sided, carnal grin. Gojo holds your hips with a grip so strong it makes you gasp, bucking into you ruthlessly. He was never necessarily vanilla with you before, but the way he’s grinning like a madman and the speed of which he’s fucking into you is something you’ve never experienced. Today you’d pushed him too far, broken your sweet, loving boyfriend and reduced him to this.

You fucking loved it.

“Thought you could take control, heh,” You hardly recognise his voice, practically hearing the maniacal smile in his words. Saturo’s hand snakes up to your hair, grabbing it in his fist and pulling you up so your backs to his chest. He lewdly licks a stripe down the back of your neck, nipping at the skin, “Look at you now,” His tone turns soft and downright patronising as he speaks into the nape of your neck, “A dirty-little- fucking-slut.” Each filthy word leaving his mouth is punctuated by a thrust. It sends heat rushing to your core, he never spoke to you like this, always praising and complimenting you as he’d worship your body.

“This is what you wanted all along, isn’t it?” You tried to answer but the way he’s fucking you has unable to formulate a sentence. He loosens his grip on your hair, combing his fingers through the strands and a soft, wet kiss on the back of your neck, completely juxtaposing the way he’s pummelling your cunt, “Filthy girl.”

Saturo’s mind is hazy with lust, nothing on his mind but ruining you for working him up so much. The moans leaving his mouth are unabashedly loud, lost in the feeling of you around him. His icy hair is ruffled, eyes glowing impossibly brighter and that wicked smile still graces his lips. You turn your head to look at him and he almost comes right there, his brows pinching together in the centre and his eyes going lidded. “You look so fucking pretty when I ruin you baby.”

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crashandlivewrites · 4 months

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Bathroom Habits with the 141 Boys

These were random thoughts that I had so I wanted to make it a thing with some input from @soapsgf

TF141 x GN!Reader

CW: it gets mildly steamy in a couple of them, but relatively domestic otherwise

Kyle “Gaz” Garrick

Chronic shower sharer. If you’re showering, he’s showering. Just enjoys spending the time with you

Hogs the water and adjusts the temperature for his liking, even if you got in there first

Washes your hair and body tenderly, massaging you gently with your favourite soaps and presses soft kisses to your shoulders as the water rinses your skin

Always comments on the smell of everything and tells you his favourites so you buy them again. Also takes into consideration the smells you like best on him

Loves when you return the favour and wash him. He’s a glutton for being pampered

Avid skin-care enthusiast. You don’t get skin that pretty without some TLC. Definitely takes sunscreen away with him

If you’re into skin-care as well, he enjoys doing it together (read: he enjoys lying in your lap and having you take care of his skin for him. Don’t worry, he’ll return the favour)

Does enjoy a cheeky swipe of moisturiser on your face when you’re not paying attention then bolts out of the room before you can retaliate

He’s also a neat man, meticulously laying out your bathroom bench or shelves with products so they’re easy to grab

Enjoys having his face mostly clean shaven when he’s home, but goes to a barber more often than doing it himself

Pushes the toothpaste from the bottom, making it easy to get most of it out

John Price

Not really a fan of sharing showers but enjoys sharing the bathroom at the same time

He likes doing his beard routine/ casual trims if you’re in the shower and vice versa for your small daily tasks whether it be hair or skin care

However, if you are looking to have a bath and you have one big enough to hold you both? You can be damn sure he’s joining you

Also makes it a big deal when he’s back. There’s candles, drinks, bath salts, and a movie playing in the background as you relax, back against his chest

Cannot keep his hands to himself. As you’re paying attention to the movie, his hands are gliding down your sides and over your thighs

Tells you to keep focusing on the movie if you start squirming too much before doubling down

Not big on skin care, but has a beard care range. Thoroughly enjoys spending his time re-shaping his beard especially after coming back, then having you keep up the smaller trims here and there

Does let you put moisturiser and sunscreen on his face but that’s it

Enjoys brushing, stroking, and/ or braiding your hair as you brush your teeth

Sits on the toilet for an hour despite knowing it’s bad for his bowel health

Clenches the middle of the toothpaste tube initially, but does push it up from the bottom when it gets low

Johnny “Soap” MacTavish

Gremlin in the bathroom. Invades your space. Like Kyle; if you’re showering, he’s showering even if he’s already washed himself for the day

Unapologetically pees in the shower and on you if you’re not careful

Enjoys washing you. Or rather, your chest. Loves soapy nipples. It’s the cleanest part of your body

Also abuses your body with the detachable shower head, holding it between your legs as he pins you to the wall, making you whine

Encourages you to wash him too, trapping your wrists and running your hands over his body suggestively

Can’t have a minute alone with this man. Always has something to talk to you about or show you so there’s no point closing the door

Washes his face with water; bar soap if he’s particularly dirty. We all know he’s a 3 in 1 user

Skin is crusty when he comes back from missions but sits pretty for you if you want to put moisturiser on his face (read: you’ll have to sit on his chest and pin him down but he likes it)

Also another one to spend an hour on the toilet but doesn’t think it’s an issue. Wants you to sit in there with him (no thanks)

Adores it when you shave his mohawk for him. Pretends he can’t do it himself if you’re around. Loves the way your eyes squint in concentration and move his head around forcefully, barking orders at him to sit still

Squeezes the toothpaste right at the top, doesn’t close the lid and leaves it in the sink

Simon “Ghost” Riley

Like Price, also not a shower sharer fan, especially early on in the relationship

The size of him is the main reason, but also wary of making you anxious about his heavily scarred body

No preference of soap or shampoo, probably whatever he’s stolen from base. Also doesn’t use conditioner

Doesn’t mind sharing the bathroom with you though once he gets comfortable, if you happen to be in there at the same time

If you’re having a bath, he won’t join you in the bath, but rather sit next to it on a stool either silently or having quiet conversations with you

Does love washing your hair as he enjoys the way you moan softly at the feeling of his strong hands pressing into your scalp

Always takes deep breaths of your hair and skin when it’s clean, committing the smell to memory

He wears a mask most of the time. He has acne because he doesn’t really wash it, especially on deployment

Doesn’t really care about treating it, but sits for you if you express an interest in taking care of it for him. He won’t admit it, but he is also a glutton for being pampered

Tries to remember what you’ve told him but forgets when he’s away. Sometimes he remembers moisturiser and sunscreen, but it’s a bit hit and miss

Toothpaste looks like he’s had it for years. All shrivelled, cut open, and squeezed to high hell in order to get every bit out

Thank you for reading!! If you have any requests for hc’s, don’t be afraid to send them through!

#crash writes #kyle gaz garrick #kyle garrick #kyle garrick x reader #kyle gaz garrick x reader #john price #captain john price #captain john price x reader #john price x reader #john soap mactavish #john soap mactavish x reader #john mactavish x reader #simon ghost riley #simon riley #simon ghost riley x reader #simon riley x reader #cod headcanons #call of duty headcanons

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evielmostdefinitely · 6 months

Text

cold tonight |young!coriolanus snow x capitol!reader|

prompt: coriolanus has been neglecting you, busy with the games and his new leadership. you decide to be bold to get his attention.

contains: 18+ smut. dom/sub themes (yes it's snow but everything is consensual). established relationship. spanking. orgasm denial. cum play ??? kinda, creampie, pinvsex. possessive and dark-ish snow.

“Pardon me,” Your spine stiffened, nearly crushing the crystal champagne flute in your hand. You couldn’t see him, but you felt him, lingering behind you, a looming presence; Coriolanus.

“I apologize for interrupting, ladies.” Coriolanus’ manners were impeccable, even through his fury. “I need to borrow my wife.” His hand was on your waist, an affectionate motion to the outside, but you knew better. You knew with the way his grip tightened, the sharpness of his tone, your actions from before hadn’t gone unnoticed.

Coriolanus had been so terribly uptight for weeks- preparations for the games, you assumed. It was his first year as President hosting the games. He’d been neglecting you, too consumed with his own work. It had been weeks since he touched you, except the quick kiss goodbye in the morning, and you were beyond pent up. He seemed more relaxed tonight. The reaping was tomorrow, everything in place and ready to go for the tributes, for the sponsors.

It seemed harmless, really.

Coriolanus had started it. Kissing you in the car ride over here, his hand gripping your thigh under your dress, hand on the back of your neck, yanking at the loose hairs there- teasing. It hadn’t gone any further. The car pulled up, Coriolanus wiping your lipstick from his face, offering a hand to you when you slid out of the car. You knew you looked flushed in the photos, and you were.

You went to the restroom, excusing yourself to reapply your makeup, compose yourself. The idea was… scandalous, you supposed. Definitely improper, your mother would faint if she knew you were acting like such a harlot, in public, no less. Still, the idea was thrilling.

You slipped your tiny, lacy undergarments off, balling them in your gloved hand. “Corio,” You called sweetly, tone drenched in honey, warm and inviting. He excused himself, lured into your entice.

“Yes, my love?”

“You dropped these.” You whispered, hoping the flush across your face, your collarbones and creeping up your neck, didn’t give you away. A shaking hand grabbed his, shoving the underwear into his own palm.

Coriolanus frowned, lifting his hand to see what you put in it, only for you to quickly press it back down. “Don’t.” You shook your head, eyes darting around. “They’re just for you only.” You whispered, eyes batting towards him in a way that had his heart lurching with excitement.

Coriolanus moved, turned into a corner, opening his hand. He blushed a deep crimson when he saw your panties, slightly damp at the crotch- he assumed from the excitement of the car ride. He had to stop himself from bringing them to his nose, inhaling that intoxicating scent that was unapologetically yours. Instead, he balled the garments into his pocket, shooting you an icy glare from across the room.

You blushed, eyes batting towards him, turning back to your conversation with a sponsor. Oh, he had half a mind to take you to the middle of the room, embarrass you for being so defiant and bratty- so needy. Too bad for him that he’d grown to adore it so much. It only made punishing you more exciting.

Now, Coriolanus had managed to break away, after a night of feeling the mocking garment in his pocket, taunting him, pulling his mind from droning conversations with the Capitol's finest. His arm on yours, pulling you away from the party.

“Corio,” Your heeled steps echoed down the empty hallway. “We can’t be gone for too long. They’ll notice you’re missing and-”

“-They’ll be fine.” Corio hissed, fingertips pressing into your biceps. He found a closet, filled with cleaning supplies for the servants of the hall, pulling you in with him, locking the door behind.

You felt small under his gaze, shrinking back until you were pressed against the shelving. “Do you think this is a game?” Coriolanus’ eyes narrowed towards you, a menacing step forward in the small space that had you pressing further into the shelves. “Do you know how highly inappropriate that was? If someone would have saw you-”

“-No one saw me, Corio.” You mumbled, arms crossing over your chest. You had meant for it to upset him, not really. Only rile him up so it might excite him. “I was careful.”

“Careful?” Corio scoffed. “You were down right sloppy, my love. Acting no better than the hookers in District One-”

“-Corio!-”

“-Perhaps I should just drop you off there.” Coriolanus looked down at you, eyes sliding over your frame. “You’d be dressed accordingly.” He stepped forward, trapping you under his steely gaze. “No panties. You’re filthy.”

You blushed, turning away but his hand caught your chin, bringing you back to meet his gaze. “You’re out of line. Disrupting the peace.”

“What can I say? I’m a rebel.” You sneered, biting and challenging.

“You’ll watch how you speak to me.” Coriolanus snapped, grip tightening around your jaw. “You know better. You do not use that word around me. Do you understand?”

“Yes…” You whispered, eyes downcast. You couldn’t bring yourself to meet his icy glare , so harsh, domineering.

“Look at me when you’re speaking to me.” Coriolanus growled, face mere inches from your own. Your tummy flipped with heat, eyes cutting to him for a moment before snapping back down.

Coriolanus’ jaw tightened, lips pursed in displeasure. “You’re not feeling very obedient tonight, are you?” He sighed dramatically. “I’ll fix that.” His hand left your jaw, stepping back, shedding his coat in the small space of the closet.

You watched him carefully, hands still clasped in front of you, eyes trekking his movements. Coriolanus looked at you, hanging his jacket over the door knob. “Go on. Lift the dress and bend over, grab the shelf.” Your stomach erupted in butterflies, nervous and excited heat coursing through your veins.

“W-What?”

“You need to be punished. I would wait until we got home, but I can not trust you to not misbehave any further.” Corio sighed heavily, disappointed, rolling the sleeves of his shirt. He was so quick to step into this role, a flick of a switch and he was so easily domineering over you. It made you throb, thighs pressing together.

“Corio,” You whispered, as if anyone was around. “Not here. I-I’ll be good, I’m sorry. I was just playing.”

“Playing?” Coriolanus challenged, brows lifting. “You thought this was the appropriate place to play?”

“N-No, I just-”

“-You what?” Corio snapped, a ghosting of a scoff on his tone. “You acted inappropriately and you will be punished. You know my rules. You know what I expect of you, how you’re supposed to behave.” You blushed, knees tightening at the authority in his voice.

He knew it got you flustered, knew you were probably dripping down your thigh already. It was exactly why he did it.

“Now bend over before I have to ask you again. You know better. Do not make me get creative in here, darling. I might not have my usual devices, but I will find something in here that will substitute the cane if I have to.” Corio frowned, the threat leaving you shuddering, quickly turning around. There was nothing you hated more than the cane, Corio knew that. He’d only used it twice on you, once to try, the other when you’d screamed at him at University.

You lifted the silk material of your dress slowly, bare skin covered with chills with every inch of skin exposed. Corio’s tongue slid across his bottom lip, eyes drawn to your drooling lips between your legs, puffy with excitement. How he’d missed them, missed you.

You leaned forward, shaky hands grabbing onto the shelf of cleaning supplies, bent at the waist and presented for him. “Hm, so you can follow orders?” Coriolanus hummed, hand gliding teasingly over the globes of your ass. “When you want to.”

You didn’t answer, trying to ignore the throbbing between your legs matching the beating in your chest. Coriolanus moved beside you, pulling you close into his hip. “I don’t have long, and I didn’t intend to have to punish you.” He snapped, chastising and mean. You whimpered beneath closed lips. “Twenty with my hand. I don’t need you to count, but you better keep quiet, do you understand?”

You took a deep breath in, stilling yourself. Corio’s palm fell flat against your ass, sharp and stinging, leaving you gasping with surprise. “I said, do you understand?” Corio sneered. He despised repeating himself, you knew that. You were extremely bratty, in a way you hadn’t been since you and Corio first started playing years ago, when you were first dating. He loved how he’d broken you, got you to submit entirely to him, be his good, obedient girl.

“Y-Yes, Corio.” You nodded gently, voice meek and quiet. “I understand.”

“Good.” Coriolanus snapped, squeezing your right cheek firmly. You squirmed under his touch.

His hand rose, falling just as quick on your right cheek, the fading imprint left behind on your skin before he repeated on the other. You bit at your lip, nails digging into the wood of the shelf with each passing snap.

The walls muffled the sound and thankfully your tiny squeals of surprise. One particularly hard smack had you jumping, Corio’s hand pressing you back into position. “Stay.” He hissed. You were throbbing, a slick and sticky mess of desire by the time Coriolanus was finishing.

Two final smacks, the hardest of all, had tears pricking your vision. Your bottom stung, itchy with a burn you were desperate to rub out. You expected more, expected it harder. Coriolanus had gone easy on you.

You felt him press against your burning ass, and you knew why. His erection stiff in his trousers, flush against your reddened ass cheek. “Have you learned your lesson?” Corio rasped, the same hand he’d spanked you with now rubbing down your spine in a soothing, calming manner. You shuddered excitedly under his touch.

“Yes, Corio.” You whispered, turning to look back at him over your shoulder, hoping your batting eyes would lure him to touch you, lick you even.

“Hm,” Corio hummed, unbuttoning his trousers. “I’m not sure I’m convinced, but,” He pulled out his length, leaking from the reddened head of his cock already. Your mouth pooled with spit, desperate for a taste. “I need to do something about this.” He nodded towards his erection, stroking it slowly.

“Can’t go out there. I’ll look just as desperate as you, then what will they say, hm?” Coriolanus rubbed the head of his cock through your folds, free hand pressing on the small of your spine. “The Snow’s, a bunch of needy whores. Can’t have that, now can we, love?”

You shook your head, eyes glassy and glazed with desire and the threat of tears from before. Corio grinned, toothy and salacious, pushing into you slowly, without warning. You gasped, biting at the back of your hand. The stretch was burning from the absence, eyes rolling back in pleasure at how he filled you.

You missed him, missed this feeling more than words could describe. His cock splitting you with every slow, quickening roll of his hips. Fingertips sunk into your hips as he rutted into you.

“You’ll be good f’me now? Be my good girl? I know you can be. Be good to me, and I’ll be good to you later, I promise, my love.” Corio rasped, breath hot in your ear, folded over your back, buried so deep in your pussy you were sure you were seeing stars.

You were close, orgasm pulling the coil in your belly tighter and tighter with every thrust of his hips. The way he fucked himself into you, hard and fast and little sloppy, breathy whines of moans pressed into your bare shoulder, trying to muffle your favorite melody. You whined, head tipping back towards him, neck exposed out of habit.

Then Corio grunted. His hips flush to yours, stilling, hot spurts of warmth filling your cunt. You gasped, gripping at the shelf like it was your orgasm, dwindling away just as furiously as it came. Coriolanus’ chest heaved, breath shaky, pupils blown when they met yours.

You gaped at him, watching as he grabbed the panties from his jacket. You knew he would be quick, it had been a while after all, but Corio always let you cum first.

Unless…

“Don’t give me that look.” Corio scoffed, a taunting smirk pulling at his lips. “You didn’t really think I’d reward you? After you were so bad?”

You blinked, lip quivering lightly. His thumb pressed to it, shaking his head. “No, no, no, there will be none of that.” He commanded. “You didn’t earn it, this time.” He dropped to his knees, wrapping one hand around your ankle, lifting it so you stepped into your panties.

“You can still earn one later,” Corio continued, eyes bright with wicked excitement, like when he was watching the games- watching his torturous ideas come to life. You hissed at the lacy fabric, rough against the sensitive skin of your ass. “If you’re good.” His pillowy lips pressed a soft kiss to each of your reddened cheeks, pulling down the material of your dress.

“Corio, I-I,” Your legs pressed together, feeling his release move as you stood, threatening to spill out of you. “I can’t keep this in me all night-”

“-You can.” Coriolanus nodded firmly, lifting his own pants. “And you will.” His eyes darkened at the order, eyes never leaving yours as he fastened his own pants back. “You will keep every single drop in and maybe- maybe I’ll reward you when we get home.”

Your pussy ached, clenching at the thought, feeling his seed spill into the thin materials of your panties. Corio grinned wickedly, smoothing down his hair before unlocking the door. He checked the hall before stepping out, offering his arm to you. You clung onto the silk of his shirt like a lifeline, legs a little unsteady and shaking still.

“If you’re good. If you follow all my rules,” Coriolanus nodded to the guard, letting them open the door for the two of you, sauntering back into the party. “I might eat it out of you later.”

“Corio,” You hissed, blushing, ducking your head towards him to hide your flustered smile.

The entire night, you clung to Coriolanus, his prized possession wrapped on his arm, on display for all of Panem’s elite to see. His good girl, his obedient wife. One who smiled politely, made small talk about the weather and the games, sipped on her champagne and didn’t get sloppily drunk like the Stillwells’ wife. Everyone waved off the glassy gaze in your eyes as affection, your matching flush for the honeymoon phase still going strong.

And they weren’t entirely wrong.

That night, Coriolanus was true to his word. Your legs up in the air, his face between your thighs, pulling every filthy sound possible from you until the early hours of the morning. You could barely walk the next morning, sore and shaky legs, shifting in your seat during the reaping, all while Corio wore a smug smile.

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chewingcyanide · 3 months

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𝐒𝐄𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐃 𝐁𝐄𝐒𝐓 | 𝐣. 𝐡𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐞𝐬

₊⊹ 𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘 — secretly pining over someone is never fun—even less so when they’re your childhood best friend, and dating someone else.

₊⊹ 𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒 —all the angst, jealousy, thoughts of inferiority, cursing, big sadness from reader over here, not proofread i got better things to do

₊⊹ 𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒 — jack hughes x fem!reader

₊⊹ 𝐀𝐔𝐓𝐇𝐎𝐑'𝐒 𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄 — my valentine’s day jhughes special (albeit a day late ☹️), as promised! sorry it took me so long. couldn’t figure out how to end it. this is unapologetically self-indulgent. also not a wip, but i HAD to do it to em. i’m sorry if your name is brooke or bianca. i love you. promise. maybe we’ll make a part two, if yall like it enough!

₊⊹ 𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 — @dancerbailey3, @bellstwd, @kashee-h, @crazycat-ladys-blog, @brucewaynegfreal, @love4dlr, @jackhughesily, @leavethemonsteralive, @loveforaugust, @43hughes, @nathandoe, @choppedlamphandscowboy, @bunting58, @angelayse, @ru-kru, @sleepretreat, @nonsensical-nonsence, @maih23 (if your name is white, i couldn’t tag you!)

𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐋 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓

Everyone knows the saying you never know what you have until you lose it. Truth was, you knew exactly what you had—you’d just never imagined you’d lose it.

You never imagined you’d lose him.

A shared childhood and mothers’ who found friendship with each other had brought you and Jack Hughes together, kept you glued even as skin stretched and futures diverged—where he’d gone on to be a star hockey player, you’d quietly came into adulthood, trekking through the difficulties of college.

In your younger years, Jack had always been there. Life of the party, a mirrorball everyone gravitated to for its decadent shine—you, contrastingly, felt like a sore thumb at parties, attending them only to see the smile on Jack’s face. Differing personalities and life routes aside, Jack was your person. The first person you called whenever you were sad, or happy, or bored. The one who knew all of your test scores first, who took hours long flights just to visit you during breaks in the season.

Distance nor time had left a lasting mark on your friendship, kept together by constant phone calls and texts. Whilst you remained imbedded in the hustle of Toronto, Jack was trapped in New Jersey—a gap that you closed every summer, when mutual desire to see one another (as well as his brothers) brought you and him to Michigan for a few months.

From childhood, to high school, to now—it had always been you two. Jokes passed in the years, swirling around with assumptions of the two of you ending up together, finally realizing it after years of proclaimed friendship. For Jack, it’d never been romantic. Loving and caring, a relationship he’d never trade for the world, but the intimacy ended there. Memories of him outwardly flirting with girls in front of you at bars or parties flashed in your mind any time you figured maybe; he’d never given any indicator that you were or would ever be more to him than his best friend.

For you? It was an embarrassingly different story.

College had stolen much of your time—left none for a love life. But truthfully, that didn’t much phase you.

Hookups, flings, boyfriends—all of them paled in comparison to Jack. A childhood crush perpetuated by maturation without loss of contact, Jack had just… always been there. Always a best friend, never a lover; the hanging axe of rejection was too dire a outcome for you to ever consider telling him. Killing a friendship you’d grown with would kill you. And maybe he felt the same way, maybe the kisses he reserved for the crown of your head and the guiding hand he kept on the small of your back meant something, but you couldn’t continue existing if they didn’t.

So, a dutiful friend, you kept quiet, spared the connection and suffered in unrequited love.

And it hadn’t really changed until Jack had gotten a girlfriend. In all your years of knowing him, he’d had a few—though they rarely lasted more than a handful of months, and a selfish and bitter part of you liked that. Sometimes they overstepped, viewed themselves above you in the ranking of Jack’s life; he made painfully clear they never would be.

And it felt good, to be that cherished. But then you remembered he didn’t actually love you and it felt a whole lot less impactful.

Not Brooke.

Brooke, a box-dye blonde with a less-than-stellar reaction to your friendship with her boyfriend, was unarguably beautiful—unapproachably so, someone you’d picture whenever thinking of the girl Jack would end up with. You knew it would never be you, but you hated that it was her, hated that it was finally cemented, the coffin wheeled out.

A friendship you’d cherished for years had been weathered down by the abrasive actions of his girlfriend. It left a bitter taste in your mouth; Jack never seemed privy to Brooke’s nonverbal dislike of you, and you never made comment of it. If Jack was happy, what did it matter? If you said anything, all you’d appear to be was a child throwing a tantrum, the attention torn from them. You refused to jeopardize Jack’s happiness, even if it meant shredding your own.

Brooke tolerated you; that was the best word you could think of. There was surely no excess of love, but you didn’t think she flat out despised you, either. Passive aggressive to the point of just being aggressive, snide looks whenever she didn’t think you could see, intentionally separating you from Jack whenever the two of you were talking—it all made you hate being around her, and by extension, him.

So when he’d invited you to dinner with him—and some of his teammates, a monthly ritual at his house—the knee jerk reaction had been to decline, lie, run while you were still free from the piercing glare of Brooke; because you knew she’d be there, clung to his side, as if you had any intention of taking him away.

… Well, you’d did have the intention. Never the will, so then again maybe she was right to hate you. Feelings you’d never act on, words you’d never say—none of it mattered. She had him. Not you. Never you.

You should’ve said no.

Pouting eyes and pleading lips caved you. As soon as you’d agreed, you’d regretted it—knew in your bones it would only serve to wedge the knife in your heart deeper, solidify the loss of a what you thought would be a lifelong partnership. Your platonic soulmate, twin flame pinched out by hateful fingers.

Getting ready for the dinner felt like preparing for a cage fight, where all night you’d have do endure blow after blow—them kissing, them touching, him loving her in a way you wished he’d love you.

Night blanketed the sky by the time you’d arrived to Jack’s home, shadows slipping by the window, shapes of people telling you that you were likely late—the stone in your stomach had slowed you monumentally. The torture was self-inflicted, you knew. There would be no pity when your heart finally gave out.

She did this to herself, they’d say. Hearts can only endure so much before they break.

Voices coalesced into one as you pushed open the door, welcomed by the familiar atmosphere of friendship and loud laughter. You’d completely forgotten to text Jack that you’d gotten here—and for some reason, as you crossed the threshold into the gaping space of his living room, you felt like an outsider. Sudden eyes landed on you like bullets, and all you saw was Jack—his side taken dutifully by Brooke, always beautiful, striking in a way you didn’t think you’d ever been.

Looking at her, it made sense why she was the one Jack chose. Why you hadn’t been. A best friend. Childhood acquaintance. Faded t-shirt he’d strung along for too many years, even as the design weathered away and the fabric weakened. He’d gotten a shiny new one, the novelty still in tact, yet he hadn’t let you go.

Some part of you, deep in the caves of your wounded heart, wished Brooke would ban him from your presence. Maybe then your hurt would lessen. You knew you’d never be able to let go on your own.

Jack’s eyes caught you, stood awkwardly in the mouth of the hallway. He attempted to stand, only for Brooke to tug him down by his t-shirt—the shirt you’d bought him for his birthday last year, impressed with two hearts holding hands. She said something to him, something low and hissed between clenched teeth. Before you could see his reaction, Nico was invading your space, arms winding around you.

“There she is!” he announced, the ground leaving your feet as he lifted you playfully. “We were waiting on you to eat. Sure do like to take your time.”

Residual bitterness faded at Nico’s words—Jack may have been your best friend, but years of being attached to him introduced you to his teammates; they were always kind, if a little overbearing. A big brother that toed the line of overprotective and well-wishing.

Grateful for the attention distractor, you allowed your shoulders to relax and lungs to decompress. The first cut at seeing Jack, still happily in love with Brooke, was already dealt; you just needed to get through the dinner, and not look like a hostage while doing so.

“Yeah, yeah,” you laughed, shoving Nico’s shoulder as he brought you towards where the others were gathered in the living room. “Make fun of me for driving like a grandma all you want, at least I’m safe.”

Not looking at Jack took more self control than you’d care to admit. Blurring in your peripheral, a mess of colors stacked atop one another, you knew if you glanced—saw the claim Brooke was staking for all to see—it would only make you want to leave. So you didn’t.

Luke was next to greet you, offering a pity-imbued smile. Despite never mentioning your affections for his older brother, you knew he knew; saw it in the way he would look at you, the frowns offered. In times when Brooke inadvertently talked you down, it was Luke who told her off, put balm on the wound.

A side hug and a soft smile—you barely were able to muster one yourself. “How have classes been?”

You graced Luke with an exasperated groan. “Terrible, thanks for reminding me. Economics is kicking my ass.”

Luke sat. You remained standing. A loose thread peeking from your sweatshirt seemed far more intriguing than eyes you were trying desperately not to meet.

“Tough luck,” remarked Luke, conversations reviving after the novelty of your arrival wore off. You recognized a couple of faces around you—Dawson, Jesper, Alexander, and John. Faces you’d become acquainted with in your years of being Jack’s friend.

The title felt a bitter reminder of your ceiling, never surpassing Jack’s best friend. Loved and cherished, a desired presence, just not how you wanted. Who were you to complain? It was better to be his friend than nothing at all; to have a little piece of him, proof that at one point, you’d mattered enough to get it.

You just weren’t sure if you did anymore.

Where once Jack’s name was a regular occurrence, flashing on your phone screen—texts, calls, FaceTimes, they all faded once Brooke came into his life. Movie nights on his couch, reruns of old films that you could quote down to the last line, stopped. You knew Jack cared enough to extend invites, but at this point, you figured it was more out of pity and shame than actual want of your company.

Beggars really couldn’t be choosers.

Eventually, everyone made their way into the dining room. Chairs lined a large wooden table, one chosen and haphazardly assembled by you and Jack when he’d first bought this house. Scratches imbedded in the finish sent flashes of dropped hammers and clumsy feet into your mind, memories that felt too far to touch.

Mind far afield, you sat down—somewhere between Luke and Nico, far enough from Jack to be inconspicuous but close enough to feel the sharp burn of his eyes. It was petty, you knew, to have still not greeted him. Not that Brooke would’ve likely even let you. A sadistic part of you wanted him to feel even a modicum of the agony that rattled you whenever you were forced to watch him and Brooke, wanted to wonder and question why you were so cold.

Then again, maybe he didn’t care.

Body detached from your mind, the last thing you expected was to be spoken to—least of all by Brooke. But there her grating voice was, verging on overuse, but you knew that was just how she talked. Chafing and annoying and awful—

“Still no boyfriend?” A venomous smile curled her lips; friendly to the untrained eye. You knew better.

Your fingers twitched. The food in front of you spoiled, appetite evaporated. Of course she asked that—both a jab and a reassurance; if you had a boyfriend, her relationship with Jack would be safe. Not that it wasn’t, regardless.

You wished you could scream at her, leap across the table and force her to hear your words: you’d never have Jack. Want him, yes. Spend years pining over a boy who looked to you like the sister he never had, absolutely. But actually have him, feel his love in every touch and kiss? No. That wasn’t on the cards for you; you’d folded long ago.

“Nope,” you drawled. The pressure of Jack’s stare caved you—you caught his eyes, eyebrows creased, the wrinkle of his forehead that made itself prominent whenever he was annoyed.

What did he possibly have to be annoyed about?

Catching Luke’s gaze only irked you further, alit the urge to push out of your chair and flee Jack’s home. Pity swelled in his eyes, the beginnings of a frown quirking down his lips. You didn’t want pity; didn’t want to feel like the entire world was in on some inside joke you’d never understand. Everyone saw it, your love for Jack. Saw the lovestruck comedy that was your life—girl loves boy, boy isn’t even aware of it, hilarity ensues.

Everyone but Jack. And honestly, that was for the best.

You didn’t think you’d be able to handle the frown when he found out. Jack Hughes, always kind, never malignant, searching for a way to politely turn down his best friend without taking an axe to the connection. Really, there would be no bloodless way to let it die—so you lived in moments between, where nothing felt impactful or important or real.

When Jack was without Brooke, you could almost imagine he was your Jack—the one who turned down every girl so that he’d be free to go to prom with you, the one who got banned from a restaurant for life for pouring a drink over your cheating ex-boyfriend’s head. The Jack who always protected you, always cared, even when all of his friends couldn’t understand it.

That Jack who currently hand his arm around the back of Brooke’s chair, shoulders touching—a casual thing, something you’d done with countless strangers, yet it felt impactful enough to make bile swim in your throat.

“Probably for the best,” Luke interjected after the conversation—if it even was that—between you and Brooke came to an awkward stalemate. “Guys are dicks.”

A tension somehow always existed whenever you were in a room with Brooke. One you never wanted, never fed into. Like a shadow, the morning mist, it hung thick as smog. Choking you, nearly forcing you from the room.

“You’re a guy,” you laughed weakly, offering Luke a pointed look.

“No one at college, then?” Nico piped up. You felt bad for not looking at him, but he was too close to Jack and Brooke—you didn’t want to see them.

Cozy, warm in a way you thought only you’d ever be with Jack. Familiar, united. Their relationship didn’t seem as superficial as his past ones had, woven together under the pretense of good sex and no real connection. Watching Jack love his new, perfect girlfriend made you physically ill; and maybe that was dramatic, maybe it made you a backwards person with failing morals—you couldn’t care anymore.

Years of hiding your love, months of watching his own be poured into a girl that wanted you out of his life—it wore you down to your bones, dangerously close to burning to ash.

“Most of them are… strange, to say the least,” you responded with a wince. And that was true; your major seemed to just attract men whose one quality was making women uncomfortable. “Plus, having a boyfriend would just distract me. Finals are coming up and I’m already worried about how I’m going to do on them.”

Luke scoffed. “Hookups exist.”

A wince followed Luke’s words. Eyes fell to where Jessica was rubbing her hand—Jack apologized, albeit half-heartedly. Confusion overcame you; had he squeezed her hand too tightly?

In the past, you’d had boyfriends. Not that they lasted very long. Somehow, there was always something wrong with them—something only Jack could see; he’d endlessly nitpick, nag, explain why your newest boyfriend wasn’t good enough for you.

They were too old, too uptight, not nice enough. Always something. And without fail, Jack was right—scarcely did they make it past the first date before some measly excuse fell from their lips. But maybe it wasn’t them; maybe it was you. So, with an aching heart refusing to connect with any other but Jack’s, you gave up. Delved headfirst into college work and stayed below the waves, even as they began to drown you.

All you offered in response to Luke was a shrug.

Conversation picked up then, thankfully fell away from you. Limelight sufficiently dimmed, you allowed yourself to watch Jack; a habit you’d never quite shaken, even in the embarrassing moments when he caught your peering gaze.

You weren’t sure exactly when you’d fallen in love with Jack—just that you had, and now you couldn’t touch the bottom of him. Water filled your lungs, suffocated you, but if drowning meant being near him, you’d happily do it. Dying in his platonic embrace seemed better than dying all alone.

Ruffled brown hair, the sort of charm that every boy-next-door seemed to possess, and clear blue eyes that shone every emotion like a transparent window to his soul—all of it made Jack Jack, the boy you loved, would admire even in moments he didn’t think he deserved reverence.

You’d seen it all: the self-deprecation after his failure of a rookie year, dwindling confidence, tears imbued with hurt and disappointment, frustration of someone who knew they were better. It was you who’d been by his side, proved an anchor to a person you couldn’t live without.

Yet he’d still chosen Brooke.

For most people, that would be the last step off the cliff, boneless body breaking against the canyon. Not you—so full of hope and dreams, undeterred by every sign the universe gave you. You weren’t his only, but at least you were one.

Jack’s lips parted into a smile, one you could tell was real—his kissed Brooke’s temple, pinched her on the side. An intimate moment in a crowded room. You felt almost as if you were trespassing, a stranger watching two people in love. Part of you didn’t even associate that boy as Jack, because you couldn’t understand how he could love someone so averse to you, so… mean. But then again, it wasn’t about you.

It was about him. Accommodations had been made for years—leaving parties early because you were uncomfortable, blowing off his guy friends to comfort you after a bad date, scrapping his wants and his plans because of something to do with you.

He was probably sick of it. Sick of you, dictating what he could and couldn’t do. Who he could and couldn’t date. Because who cared if Brooke hated you; Jack loved her, despite it all. And that was what made dread swirl into a storm in your heart, ribs nearly cracking under the rate it was thundering at.

Abruptly, you stood. Felt the chair nearly topple. Eyes came to you—Jack’s friends. Yours, yes, but Jack’s foremost. You were just intruding, butting into a life that no longer fit you. Time had passed, the wishful minds of children grown into adulthood. He didn’t owe you anything anymore, especially when all you were was a storm cloud over his parade.

Just as soon as you had, Jack stood, concern clear in his gaze. “What’s wrong?”

Your tongue felt like lead. “Nothing—nothing, sorry. I’m—I need to use the restroom.”

You didn’t wait much longer before leaving the room.

Air felt scarce, lungs punctured and deflating quicker than you could patch the holes. Clumsily, you pushed open the door to the bathroom, steadied your shaking hands on the edge of the sink. Looking at yourself, reflection marred by the onset of tears, all you could do was compare—compare to Brooke, to every girl Jack had ever wanted, ever liked, ever loved.

Was it their features, doughy lips that worshipped him in a way you didn’t? Was it their bodies, womanly and free in a way you didn’t like to be? Or was it deeper, were their souls crafted from the same light, in a way you’d always thought your own had been with Jack’s?

Idiot, fool, dreamer—you were all of it. Like a lap dog, bird in its teeth, you always returned, remained dutifully at Jack’s side for the moment he might open the screen door and finally let you in.

Brooke had every right to hate you. Perceptive in a way Jack wasn’t, she saw what everyone else did—the lovesick eyes, foolish faith chaining you to him, an unrealized desire that would never be acted on. Had you been in Brooke’s place, you would’ve hated yourself as well.

Water poured from the faucet, gathered in your cupped palms. Attempting to desecrate any evidence of tears, you gently splashed the water in your face—went to dry it when you heard the sound of the front door creaking open.

“Oh, thank God you’re here, Bee.”

Cold crept up your spine. Eavesdropping was wrong—you knew that, yet still found yourself leaning against the bathroom door to catch Brooke’s words.

“What’s going on?” came the response, likely the voice of Bianca, Brooke’s best friend. You’d met her once at a game (met was a loose word; she’d given you a snide look and taken to ignoring you the entire time).

Brooke’s voice lowered to the point where you were forced to strain to hear her speak. “You know Jack’s little pet?”

A lapse. Your heart seized, taken by some concoction of shame and surprise.

“No.”

“Yes!” responded Brooke. “She’s fucking everywhere. I asked Jack not to invite her tonight, and lo and behold—”

“Wait, I thought you talked to Jack?”

“I did.” Vexation laced every letter. “I told him it made me uncomfortable how close they were, how she was always around, blah blah. He got defensive, but he said he’d talk to her.”

“Clearly not,” Bianca muttered. “Look, I wouldn’t worry about it. They’re childhood friends, yeah? He probably feels like he has to stay her friend, or something. I mean, Jack’s a good guy, he wouldn’t intentionally hurt anyone; if he dropped her, he’d look like a douche. I’m sure she’ll get the hint eventually.”

Footsteps began, voices fading along with them. “I fucking hope. It’s honestly pathetic.”

Blood roared in your ears, drowned out the sound of your beating heart—if it was even beating anymore. Something bitter and hot invaded your airways, lashed like whips against your flesh. It was no secret Brooke disliked you, disliked the closeness of you and Jack, but to hear it, the vicious way it fell from her lips—it made your gut twist and constrict, pushing bile towards your throat.

Pathetic. They thought you were pathetic, hopelessly waiting, like a dead plant praying for flowers that would never come. Lovelorn, seeking affection that only came by way of friendship and never more; they were right, and it became evident with a strike of lightning to your body.

Is that truly how Jack felt? Was he waiting for you to give up, so to spare you the hurt of being let down? Had you become baggage? Chained to him, the memory of childhood the only thing keeping you relevant, when times were less impactful and his life didn’t center around being a professional athlete. The stain of youth, remaining only for its joyful memory; that’s all you were now—a memory.

Just like your love, it seemed everyone saw Jack’s hints but you. Rose-colored lenses blurred everything but what you wished to see; of course you missed them, ignored them so your narrative remained intact.

God, you were an idiot. A fucking idiot.

Head pounding, the squeeze of an oncoming migraine rattling your brain, you opened the bathroom door. Felt like a trapped bird all the way back to the table—you just had to get through dinner, only an hour or two, so as to not raise any suspicion, and then you could fade from Jack’s life.

Not that he’d notice. He hadn’t even spoken to you tonight, though no fault of his own; Brooke kept her claws deep, and it was clear he didn’t want to risk an argument. Not that you could blame him—she was his girlfriend. Her. Not you. He didn’t owe you anything.

Conversations filled your ears, ostracized you—every time you had opened your mouth before, it had felt wrong, the scratch on a vinyl everyone skipped over. You saw him first—noticeably tense, chair a bit further away from Brooke that it had been earlier. Tensed forehead, hands balled on the table; you longed to ask what was wrong, as you were used to doing. But you imagined talking to him, and it somehow felt wrong, a peasant addressing a king.

Then, your eyes fell to your seat.

No longer empty, occupied now by Bianca, who was talking casually with Brooke, as if her actions hadn’t changed your entire perception of the situation. There were no more seats. No more room. The metaphor wasn’t lost on you, hit with the same sting of antiseptic on a wound—there wasn’t any more room for you at the table, just as there was no room for you in Jack’s life.

Maybe this was always meant to happen. Childhood didn’t remain forever, and it seemed, neither was your friendship. You’d always wondered why Jack had chosen you, someone so dissimilar to himself and his friends. Eventually, you made peace with it. His friendship was a balm to everything negative. Now… here you were again, more ostracized than ever.

What were you supposed to do? The long haul wasn’t meant to have an end.

Everyone was looking at you now. Stage fright, you lost your speech, thousands of eyes from a crowd looking at you, spotlight centered on your face, and you couldn’t, couldn’t, couldn’t—

Blue eyes found you, stood stonily at the entrance of the dining room. Jack’s eyebrows knitted, confused as to why you were still stood. When he saw Bianca, his lip curled. Frustration sparked, bemusement painted over. Once more that protective streak flared, something you were so used to—it had once felt the greatest trophy, proof that the Jack Hughes cared enough to stand up for you. It felt a sore consolation now, a reminder that, as always, you’d be the meek girl from his childhood he was forced to drag along, defend, shield from his new life that he fit into perfectly, that you spilled out from.

“Get up.”

Then, the attention went to him.

Brooke glanced at her boyfriend, annoyance flashing on her face. Their conversation paused. “What?”

Jack nodded towards Bianca. “She took her seat,” he explained in a clipped voice. “Get up.”

Brooke rolled her eyes. “Jack, it’s not a big—”

“It is,” he interrupted. Tension sparked in the air like a misfired firework. “She needs to sit and Bianca took her place, so—”

“It’s fine!” The words spilled out before you could second guess them. They came out raw and pained and everything you didn’t want to appear as; pity pooled from everyone, that sort of second-hand pity you saw on strangers faces when you’d lose your footing and fall.

It was too much. Pins dug into your skin, all of a sudden too tight. You needed to leave. Now, before your bones crumbled and heart gave out and finally everything burst.

“I—um, I should probably get going, anyway,” you said, nodding as if trying to be convincing. “With finals comin’ up I should get in as much studying as I can.”

Determination was something you’d always admired about Jack; it only irked you now. He stood, shrugged off Brooke’s outstretched hand and came to stand before you, and God—it was a disservice to not admire him, even as annoyance creased his eyes and drew inwards his lips. Beauty, in such a raw form, it startled you. Growing up, he’d always been the center of everyones attention. The hockey prodigy, the first overall draft pick, the franchise player for the Devils.

You? You’d been nothing special. Yet he’d still chosen you. And here he was, apparently doing it again—but why? Why when he had a beautiful girlfriend and a perfect life and fun friends did he always come back, when clearly you were no more than a burden?

You tried not to seem spiteful. You did. But it was so hard to hide your wounds and ignore their pain. He may not have seen them, but they were unfortunately still there. And it seemed they always would be.

“You can’t,” he said, searched your gaze—he’d always been able to see straight through you, with such simplicity it frightened you. You tried to shuttered your expression, hide your pain. It wasn’t a conversation you wanted to have. “Dinner’s just started—”

“Really, J, it’s fine.” Heat bored into your face where you knew Brooke was staring, daring you to express any deeper connection with Jack past the sheltered friendliness you were currently forcing.

You weren’t going to budge. Jack saw that, and so he sighed and glanced out the window. “I’ll drive you home.”

Oh, God. Nothing was ever easy. Pushing and pushing and pushing until you weren’t sure you even wanted to get up anymore, to even try. Every time you did, right back down you went, encapsulated by everything Jack.

Freedom felt a forgotten thing. You couldn’t remember a time when you didn’t love Jack, when he wasn’t at the forefront of your mind, main star of the play.

And honestly, you were tired. Tired of wishing for something that would never happen. Tired of being viewed as the shackle around Jack’s wrist. Just tired.

“No need,” you muttered noncommittally, saw the way Jack’s face twisted with concern and confusion and everything you didn’t want to see. “It’s your dinner, J. With my grandma driving, I’ll get home safe.”

The attempt at a joke didn’t land. Smile didn’t even begin to twitch his lips. “It’s dark outside,” he stated, an obvious fact that held no weight for anyone but you and him. “I always drive you when it’s dark.”

That was true enough; your inability to see properly at night meant Jack became your chauffeur, not that he ever complained—even still, it was another thing he did for you, time sacrificed to accommodate you. Prepared to leave his own dinner, his own girlfriend, just to make sure you didn’t have to do something you were uncomfortable with. Conceptually, it was sweet, a sort of gesture that would’ve normally made your heart soar. Now? It made you feel like a burden, an incapable little girl still hiding in the shadow of her protector, afraid of the sting of daylight.

No more.

“I’m going to be fine,” you reassured. Jack didn’t appear convinced—he never was satisfied when it came to you, to your safety, unless he was directly involved. “Stay and have fun.”

“What if—”

“Let her go, babe.”

Brooke’s voice proved the nail in the coffin; a part of you heard the undertone of excitement shot through her words, the possibility of your leave alleviating any annoyance your presence had brought. Without you, Jack’s attention would be fully on her. Without you, he wouldn’t have to concern himself on whether you were having fun and if you were okay.

You. You. You.

You’d considered yourself Jack’s anchor, the grounding of his mind—unfortunately, you’d forgotten an anchor also keeps a thing in place, forcing inactivity.

Let her go.

It rang like a death knell, struck sharp as a poisoned dart, invisible but so unmistakably fatal.

Gathering what remained of your dignity, you grabbed your purse off of your—Bianca’s—chair, caught the commiseration shining in Luke’s eyes like a tarnished trophy. It only stung, reminded you that you needed pity.

Before you could flee the room like a scolded dog, Jack caught your wrist. Heat bloomed, a fever rushing to your head—his simple touch made you sick with want and need and something deeper that would never be realized or fostered. Something you had to let die.

“Text me when you’re home,” he said softly. Fingers gently squeezed your wrist. Where once you’d feel comforted, you just felt trapped. “Please.”

Not trusting your words, all you did was nod.

Honestly, you’d expected some dark cloud to cover you when finally you decided to move on. A procession of funeral goers flocking like crows, unable to understand why you’d abandoned a years-long friendship over something insignificant. Over words spewed from hateful lips.

But it wasn’t what you’d overheard. Deeper, a more sharp knowledge that even if Jack loved you, held you closer than anyone in his circle of friends, he’d never want you in the way you desired. And for a while, that was okay. Because he existed separate of everything—and then came Brooke, and it all crumbled.

You could handle him not loving you. You couldn’t, however, handle him loving someone else so openly.

Street lights blurred behind tears, a mess of streaky lights like a watercolor canvas. Flashes of nights when Jack would drive you home, insisting on taking the wheel so that you didn’t have to toe out of your comfort zone, they haunted you like a inescapable film reel on repeat in your mind. Memories fogged by lost youth, angry words from Jack’s lips as he’d stand up for you—never a party person, denounced for draining the fun. Jack never let those insults slip lip before he was barking at whoever said it.

A responsibility. A burden. The lines had become blurred in recent years.

The latter seemed more fitting.

Through a barrier of tears, you were able to send Jack a text as your car rolled to a stop in the parking lot.

at my dorm

j :)

ok good. u ok? u seemed off @ dinner

Fingers hovered over your screen. Make movements to draft a text. Nothing seemed sufficient.

You let the text stale. Sit stagnant on your phone. Jack would likely worry, eventually call—you just wanted to fall into a void and never return. Not after the mess you’d made of dinner.

The mess you’d made of your life.

Making a ghost of yourself was far more difficult than you’d thought it would be.

Incessantly, Jack had texted you, called you—you didn’t answer any of them. Silence felt a balm to your shame. Selfish, you knew, to just ghost Jack without offering any explanation, but nothing would be sufficient, not without souring the connection you were hoping would die without pain.

Cowardice, craven, pathetic—you knew you were all of it. To you, you were giving Jack a chance to pull back, to fizzle the friendship of his own accord. Maybe then it would’ve stung less, if the desire of its end was reciprocated, mutual. As it were, it was not.

Even with your withdrawal, Jack still tried. Shot texts, called and punctuated them with voicemails, sent you TikToks and Snaps and everything he would normally do if everything was fine; but it wasn’t. And you knew he knew, could sense the urgency in his attempts at communication.

You felt dirty, filthy with shame and guilt.

Despite your best efforts, you didn’t appear as unaffected as you hoped. While your insides were shredding themselves, you tried valiantly to paint over your visage with the normal happy-go-lucky smile you always wore. Most people, if they noticed, didn’t comment on it.

Unfortunately, Kaylen did notice.

Since your freshman year of college, Kaylen had been your roommate—low maintenance, intelligent to the point of making you stupid without even trying. As such, she was far more perceptive than you gave her credit for.

There’d been times you confided in her about your feeling for Jack, sought out advice that never seemed good enough. Because no one but yourself could fix the valley that had split between Jack and you. You could seek outward help all you wanted, but nothing would change unless you did something—and, really, you weren’t sure that was even a good idea anymore.

Two days of moping resulted in Kaylen’s intervention.

“Get up.”

Sunlight bled through your shut eyes, forced a wince. Hands rolled you onto your back, the somewhat stiff mattress of your bed providing a measly cushion. Sleep intruded on, your hands extended, attempted to push away the figure you knew what trying to rile you.

“Go away,” you grunted, throat thickened by sleep and other terrible emotions.

“No,” Kaylen hissed. When finally you opened your eyes, her squinted expression invaded your vision. “Look, I’ve let you be miserable for two days, but it’s getting ridiculous. What the hell happened with you and loverboy?”

A jolt nearly paused your heart mid-beat. Thinking about Jack stung in a way you didn’t like to admit, mainly due to the fact that it was painfully embarrassing that he had such a control over you.

“Don’t call him that,” you muttered, bit your tongue to stop anything else from spilling out.

Kaylen’s eyebrows quirked. “So it is about him?”

Nails scraped your lungs. “No—yes—fuck,” you moaned, sitting up and balancing your forehead on bent knees. “It’s… all fucked up, K. I don’t know what to do.”

A sigh left her lips. You felt the bed dip as she climbed beside you. “I can help if you tell me.”

And so you did, started at the beginning of dinner to the end, as you left like a dog defeating in a cage match, heart crying blood. Comforting circles were rubbed into your thigh, but all they did was remind you how Jack used to trace shapes onto your leg, or arm, or back—how he touched you, just to know you were there, with him. He said it placated him.

It was shameful, how bile teased your throat even imagining it.

Rationally, you knew everything was your doing. Loving Jack, torturing yourself by being in his presence whilst he focused his attention on his girlfriend. Expecting any semblance of affection or intimacy even as another held his heart, branded her name over your own. It was always going to happen—knowing that didn’t make it hurt any less.

When finally you finished, the conclusion of your mournful, self-pitying tale followed by the sting of unwanted tears, Kaylen’s thoughtful silence waned. Her lips pursed, fingers twitching. You expected her to berate you; what had you expected, stupid girl? He has a girlfriend!

Instead, Kaylen hugged you. “Shit, babe, I’m sorry,” she murmured, pulled back with that pitiful smile you’d seen one too many times—one you’d be fine with if you never saw again. “He cares about you—”

“Not how I care about him, though,” you finished, and Kaylen gave a weak nod.

“I mean, if you told him what Brooke and her little bitch of a friend said, I’m sure he’d leave her. He’s done more for less.” That much was true. Regardless of whose lips it came from, Jack didn’t tolerate disrespect towards you—cut long time friends off for assuming they had any authority to speak poorly of you.

And you knew—knew with the same certainty that you knew your own name—that Jack would break up with Brooke if he knew how she’d spoken of you.

That should’ve made you giddy. Bursted bright light in your chest at the prospect of having Jack to yourself once more. Instead, it made you feel heavy, sand packed into your bones. Who were you to invade his happiness? If he’d chosen Brooke, so be it.

Sure, she’d disparaged you, but Jack’s life wasn’t yours to dictate anymore. If he wanted Brooke, he’d have her, until he decided to leave—not because you decided for him.

“It doesn’t matter anymore.” Eyelids heavy, the residue of late-night tears remaining on the skin, you felt the fight leave you. Kaylen frowned. “I just want it all to be over.”

She didn’t look convinced. “Seriously? You’re giving up on an eight year friendship because of something some dickface said about you? I thought Jack meant more to you than that.”

Kaylen’s words stung. Made you defensive, because she was right—you were giving up and you did care about Jack, but the pain had become too much. “It’s not—it’s harder to explain than that. He’s outgrown me, K. Everyone can see it but him. I’m an obligation, a burden, and yeah, maybe he loves me as a friend and maybe he wants me around, but his friends never have—his fucking girlfriend doesn’t. And at this point, I just want it to end, I want him to be happy without the conditions of making me happy.”

Silence followed. Contemplation showed clear on Kaylen’s face. You could tell, even without her words, that she didn’t agree—but, she didn’t comment on that. Rather, she placed a hand on your leg and squeezed.

Just like Jack always did.

“It’s your life, babe,” she conceded. “And if you want to do this, I’m not going to stop you—but you have to be content with it.” She gestured to you, the nest of blankets and red-rimmed eyes. “Because this? This isn’t happiness over a good choice. You’re miserable without him, and it’s been barely two days. Think about what you’re doing before it’s irreversible.”

With that, Kaylen got up and went to her own bed, and neither of you made comment of it for the rest of the day.

Her words came again and again like a fractured turntable. Of course you were miserable—Jack had been a constant in your life for eight years, consistently preserving your peace, including you when you’d never felt more like an outsider. Happiness was synonymous with Jack, his smile, his presence, him.

Did you regret your decision? Yes, and no. You regretted the way you’d gone about it. The petty silence, ignoring a person who’d made your younger years bearable. Your friendship deserved a better death than that, a reason rather than just… fading from existence, as if it never mattered in the first place.

That wasn’t the message you wanted conveyed, and so with fingers unsteadied by aftershocks, you texted Jack.

You weren’t sure how you’d explain, if you could tiptoe around the actual reason. Maybe you couldn’t, and maybe that was okay.

i’m so sorry for everything. i’ll explain in person. can we meet up?

Your response came half a second later. As if he were waiting. That selfish part of you prayed he had been.

j :)

ofc. my place tn?

yeah. that’s good. brooke won’t be upset?

Asking after her made you want to puke, but you knew it was necessary—she didn’t like Jack even breathing near you, having an entire sit down conversation with him was certainly out of the question.

Thrice, the little text bubble appeared and disappeared on your phone screen. You could sense the apprehension without any background knowledge.

j :)

not a problem. we broke up.

It was shameful, the backwards type of pleasure that brought you.

Maybe you were a terrible person. A terrible friend. You tried to reason that it wasn’t wrong to love someone, to wish they were yours.

shit j. i’m sorry

j :)

i’m not. i’ll see u tn. 7:30 work? have dinner w the guys.

yeah, that’s fine. see you soon, j.

j :)

be safe. i’ll text you when i’m home.

The hard part wasn’t even over, and your heart was already breaking in two.

Sweat beaded at your palms, the cold claws of apprehension raking down your spine. Countless times you’d been stood here, facing the lifeless beige of Jack’s apartment door. This time, however, you stood here knowing it was the last time. A silent farewell to familiarity, the ties finally cut. Jack would fight, you would cry, and maybe he’d be able to change your mind—it seemed such an unlikely outcome that it calcified every inhale in your throat.

Shaking hands rapped the wooden door, where behind would come the execution of a friendship you’d held like a crutch for years upon years. Your childhood had died, and maybe it would’ve been better had it been left there as well, so as to spare you this heart-rending pain.

Even still, you wouldn’t have traded those years for the world—everything they taught you, through pain and happiness. It made you who you were, brought you to his doorstep with melancholy eyes and a failing heart.

Footsteps echoed on the other side of the door, urgent in a way that picked up your heart rate. The next moments you imagined with brutal clarity—Jack’s hopeful gaze, blue in a way no one else’s ever had been, the soft slope of his nose you teased him for, scrunched whenever he was particularly concerned. How he’d usher you in, hear your words, plead for a moment to explain, and then admit his love for you.

That was how you dreamt it. Unsurprisingly, it was not how it went.

Instead of the door opening to reveal the man you’d love for a lifetime, the squealing hinges were followed by a face that nearly knocked you backwards. Previous indifference smeared into flat-out disdain as Brooke’s eyes caught your figure, engulfed in one of Jack’s faded hoodies and likely disheveled in a way she’d never experienced herself.

Arrows punctured your lungs, sole your breath and defaulted your barely beating heart. Brooke was here. At Jack’s apartment. After they’d supposedly broken up. Had he lied? Was he tricking you, making you the fool? He never would, you knew that, but your wounded mind spun falsities to perpetuate your pain, as if punishment for trusting him in the first place.

“What do you want?” Brooke grunted, leant against the doorframe. Lips twitched into a smirk, the smile of the victorious.

You’d never considered yourself a violent person, but the urge to punch her in the teeth itched your fists. “Is Jack here?”

Her face fell. Something dark flashed in her face—she hesitated a moment, tossed a look over her shoulder. “Yes.”

The curt response was better than nothing, you supposed. “Right, well, can you tell—”

Brooke ran a hand through her hair. Adjusted the clasp of her necklace. “We were kind of in the middle of something. Come back later?”

The axe struck down.

Gravel filled your throat. Suffocated you. If Brooke knew the affect of her words, for once it didn’t show on her face. Years of life had taught you many things, drug you through agonies you wouldn’t relive for anything, yet somehow, this was the worst pain.

To be betrayed, trust snapped by a single action, it stung. Wormed venom in your veins and contaminated your bloodstream, poisoning your heart. Realistically, Jack hadn’t actually done anything wrong. He was allowed to hook up with other girls, to love them—he had, for years.

That wasn’t the issue.

No, it was the fact that he’d set a time, invited you over, and somehow forgot? Or had he set it all up, just to rub it in your face, get his lick-back for your prolonged silence towards him? Either way, it hurt, hurt like a bitch.

Made stone, all you did for a moment was blink at Brooke before a voice called from the background, “Who is it?”

Jack.

Fright found you then, broke away your shell of stone. You couldn’t let him see you, the dog wishing once more to come in from the cold. If he’d planned it, and saw you, he knew he’d won. If he hadn’t planned it, then he realized that—irrecoverably—he fucked up. Both choices felt like a criminal trial you didn’t want any part of.

“I—um—have a good night,” you rushed out, feet stumbling over themselves as you practically ran away from Jack’s door.

So much for closure.

So much for being broken up.

Maybe this was your sign. The one you needed to finally pull away.

Because Jack Hughes didn’t love you. Not past platonic soulmates—a relationship stained with past memories, ones that made both of you incapable of letting go, even as you outgrew it.

You were done being second best. Done trying to squeeze into a place you didn’t fit anymore.

If Brooke was Jack’s choice, so be it. You didn’t want any part of it anymore.

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eyesofshinigami · 3 months

Text

Boyfriend Privileges

Rating: T

CW: None

Tags: Just getting together, language, fluff

Prompt: For @sparklyslug "Love is letting him pick the music"

WC: 959

Written for @steddielovemonth Day 21

The rules were simple in Steve’s car. Wipe your feet before you get in. No snacks or drinks. And most importantly, don’t touch the fucking radio.

Steve is very particular about his music. He likes what he likes and he won’t hear anything about it. He likes pop music because it’s happy, it’s fun, and it gives him something mindless to sing along to when his head feels too full.

Even when the kids complain, or Robin teases him, Steve is steadfast. Whatever is playing is what’s going to play, and no one is going to be able to say anything about it.

But then Eddie came crashing into his life like a hurricane.

Eddie is a lot of things that Steve isn’t. He’s confident and loud, brash and unapologetic in just about everything he does. They’re also the same, sometimes; they’re both scarred, both of them just wanting to be loved, to be understood.

Falling for Eddie was a quiet thing, for Steve. It crept up on him until one day he looked at Eddie, smiling and laughing as he and the kids were gathered around the table playing their dragons game, and he thought oh. Oh I want to be with this person for the rest of my life.

That’s where it started, and now they’re here. It’s only been a couple of days since Eddie beat him to the punch and confessed first. They kissed, they touched, and decided that this is something they both wanted. Steve could hardly believe that Eddie wanted him back.

They hadn’t told the kids yet; not that they were hiding it, but they were both enjoying just being together and figuring out what exactly that meant. But it’s good already, with Eddie giving him a sweet, private smile as he slides into the front seat. Steve had volunteered to pick the whole gaggle of them up from the arcade so he could bring them back to his house for a movie night.

“Heya Stevie,” Eddie says, pulling his hair across his mouth. It’s enough to make Steve’s heart start beating fast even over the sound of the boys climbing into the backseat. “Happy to see me?”

“Always,” Steve answers honestly. Eddie’s cheeks turn a delightful shade of pink and Steve mourns the fact that he can’t leave over and kiss him. Soon, he tells himself. Once they drop the kids off, they’ll go back to Eddie’s trailer and-

“We’re burning daylight, Steve! I thought we were going to watch a movie or something!” Dustin’s voice breaks through the lovesick haze that had settled over them.

Steve grumbles and turns the car on. “Keep your shirt on, butthead. We’re going now.” That incites another bout of grumbling and arguing from the backseat. “Don’t make me regret offering you guys the chance to use the TV. Or make me consider throwing out all those snacks I bought, or sending the pizza back…”

Eddie pretends to swoon and presses his hand to his forehead. “Oh no, please, oh gracious King of my Heart! Do not let the ramblings of the peasants cast a shadow upon your infinite kindness and patience!” He looks up at Steve with big, wide eyes that make Steve think a whole lot of other things besides the upcoming movie night. “What can this fair knight do to assuage the slight against your good name?”

“I could think of a few things,” he says, just loud enough for Eddie to hear. It makes a pretty cat-like grin break out across Eddie’s face. Oh, the things they’re going to do later…

Eddie seems to be on the same page, licking his lips as he reaches up to the radio. He pushes the button and pops the tape out, slipping in the he’d made for Steve the night they decided they wanted to give this a go. It makes Steve’s heart skip a beat.

It’s probably why it takes him so long to realize that the backseat has gone completely silent. No squabbling, so arguing, no nothing. Dead silent. Eddie picks up on it too, turning around in his seat to stare at them. “Did someone press the mute button? What gives?”

“You touched the radio,” comes Will’s voice from the back, sounding awed.

“Yeah? And? Steve always lets me put music on.”

That gets a reaction. Dustin and Mike start squawking protests. “What the hell, Steve?? You never let us pick the music? You don’t even let Robin touch the radio! What are the three rules of riding in the Bimmer?” Dustin calls out.

“Wipe your feet. No snacks or food. And most importantly, don’t touch the radio,” the other boys in the back chorus together.

Eddie turns and looks at Steve, smile getting impossibly wider. “Is that so?”

He could deny it. He could lie and say they’re just being shitheads about it. It’d be really easy. “Yeah. Yeah it is true. But you know,” Steve stops, reaching over and grabbing Eddie’s hand to press a kiss to the back of it. His heart is pounding, but it’s worth it for the stars he sees in Eddie’s eyes. “You’re the exception to the rule.”

The backseat erupts in a whole different bout of noise, but Steve tunes it out. He’s too busy enjoying the way he and Eddie’s fingers are laced together over the console, the mixtape Eddie made for him playing in the background.

“Does this mean you’ll let us eat in the car now?” Mike tries, sounding put out.

Steve shakes his head. “Absolutely fucking not.” Though, he looks over at Eddie, who is still grinning like the cat who got the canary. “Except you. Boyfriend privileges and all that.”

It’s worth the noise coming from the back.

#les writes things #steddie #steddielovemonth

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theostrophywife · 8 months

Text

kiss with a fist | chapter three.

masterlist 💋 chapters 💋 playlist

pairing: theodore nott x reader.

song inspiration: high enough by k. flay.

author's note: we're well on our way. this is a shorter(ish) chapter, but that just means that you might get the next one sooner rather than later. as always, please enjoy the banter and sarcasm.

Angel’s Trumpet was going to be the death of you.

You were convinced of it.

The multiple failed attempts to brew the wretched draught hung over you like a pall and followed you into your second week. When Wednesday night finally rolled around, you were in a proper foul mood. You couldn’t even bring yourself to take more than one bite of lasagne, which was usually your favorite.

Beside you, Luna set the latest copy of the Quibbler down and looked over at you with concern. “Still having trouble with potions?”

You nodded, sighing in frustration. “It’s this bloody Angel’s Trumpet. I’ve read over the recipe so many times that it’s practically ingrained into my subconscious, but I just can’t seem to get it right.”

Your roommate smiled faintly. “I know,” she said in her breathy voice. “You do come up with some rather creative curses when you’re studying.”

You smiled sheepishly. “Sorry Loons, have I kept you up with my late night ranting again?”

“No need to apologize. The wrackspurts are truly doing a number on everyone, not just you. They’re especially rampant during the start of term.” Her dreamy eyes sharpened into something that resembled mischief. “And how are your sessions with Theodore going?”

The faint smile on your friend’s face told you that she definitely knew more than she let on. Besides you and Theo, Luna was the only person in Hogwarts who knew about your secret little dalliances. She had figured it out rather early on last year when you and Theo kept mysteriously disappearing at the same time. It was a shame that everyone underestimated her. Luna Lovegood was the most astute person you knew.

You had absolutely no doubt that your secret was just one of many that Luna had uncovered by simply being observant. After all, teenagers weren’t exactly covert even if they were witches and wizards.

“Miserably,” you finally answered.

Much to your annoyance, Theo had not let up since the weekend. Day after day, he dragged you into the potions lab with varying disastrous results. Just the other night, the damned cauldron spewed magenta liquid like a geyser, effectively soaking you and Theo in pepto bismol pink like a demented water park ride. No amount of scourgify could wash away the shame.

Luna laughed. “Pansy said that Theo spent hours scrubbing potion off of his fancy leather shoes.”

“Pansy?” you asked incredulously. “As in, Pansy Parkinson? Since when are you two the best of friends?”

Your friend shrugged nonchalantly, but you clocked the slight flush in her cheeks. “Don’t worry, I’m not trying to replace you. Pansy and I just have a few classes together, that’s all.”

You narrowed your eyes in suspicion. “Is she being nice to you? I swear to Godric if she even says one mean thing I’ll stick a broom up that witch’s ar—“

Luna held her palms up. “I appreciate the concern, but I assure you Pansy is very nice.”

That wasn’t entirely convincing, but you trusted Luna’s judgment. As protective as you were over your friend, you knew that she was perfectly capable of handling herself.

“I just worry,” you said, patting her shoulder. “Those little serpents have teeth.”

“Oh, I think you’re more familiar with the Slytherins and their teeth than I am.”

“Loons!”

She smiled unapologetically. “Speaking of which, here comes your serpent now and he does look poised to bite.”

You turned just in time to see Theo marching down the aisle with two of his housemates. The curly headed one, Mattheo Riddle, swaggered on his right and winked at you. Flanking Theo’s left side was Enzo Berkshire, who gave you a polite wave. He was by far the most tolerable out of the lot of them. You wholly ignored Mattheo, but acknowledged Enzo with a nod.

Theo, on the other hand, you openly glared at. “To what do I owe the displeasure?”

Every head at the Ravenclaw table turned towards your direction. Though your housemates liked to think they were above the petty drama, Ravenclaws were some of the worst gossips in this school. Three Slytherins walking amongst their midst was as juicy as it got.

Completely unfazed by the attention, Theo slid in next to you on the bench. “Someone’s got their wand in a twist.”

You flashed him a saccharine smile. “I’ll twist more than just your wand if you don’t leave me the hell alone, Nott.”

Mattheo smirked. “Oh, I like her.”

The glare you shot his way was full of venom. “The feeling is not mutual.” Enzo fought a smile as Mattheo gaped. You ignored the both of them and turned back to Theo. “Who are they supposed to be? Your cronies?”

“Merlin, she never truly lets up, does she?” exclaimed Riddle.

Theo grinned. “You have no fucking idea, mate.” His expression faltered when he saw the ire dancing in your eyes. “Right, I know that look. Leave us before she decides to turn you two into toads.”

The boys reluctantly backed away. Beside you, Luna followed suit but winked behind her shoulder as she left the Great Hall. Luckily, Theo’s back was turned to her.

“What do you want?”

“Glory, riches, power. The usual,” he deadpanned. “What do you think I want? I've been waiting for you at the lab for half an hour.”

“I can’t,” you said dismissively. “Not tonight.”

“Oh, yes you can. I’m too invested to give up now. I am going to teach you how to brew Angel’s Trumpet even if it kills me.”

“I’d prefer to skip the brewing and get right to the fun part.” You didn’t even notice that your bantering had stopped every conversation at your table. Everyone watched as you menacingly twirled your wand. “Shall I buy a new dress for your funeral?”

Theo smirked, seizing your wrist. He lowered his voice and spoke quietly so only you could hear. “I’d rather see you wear my jumper again.”

“Let go of my hand and I’ll be sure to turn up to your wake donning your beloved jumper.”

He sighed in frustration. “I’m serious about the draught, diavolina. We’re trying again. Tonight.”

“Was my last try not humiliating enough?”

“There’s definitely room for improvement. Avoiding turning the lab into a slip and slide would be my first suggestion.” His mouth quirked in amusement. Prick. “Aside from that, I think I finally figured out the missing ingredient.”

“And that would be?”

“Relaxation,” Theo answered proudly. “You’re way too uptight and it’s feeding into your magic, hence all the explosions.”

You scoffed. “You want me to relax? I have literally never relaxed in my entire life. I came out of the womb stressed about taxes.”

Theo snorted. “That’s exactly why I’m here. Let the expert teach you, sweetheart. Being relaxed means being confident and being confident means success.”

“You do know that confidence and arrogance are two different things, right?”

“Do you want to brew the bloody potion or not?”

The fact that Theo was the one motivating you to do school work was only slightly despairing. “Fine,” you conceded. “Teach me how to relax, oh Great Master.”

“Tucking that away for names I’d like for you to call me in bed.”

“Pervert.”

“Don’t slut shame me, Y/N. We all have our kinks.”

“Great. Mine is committing acts of violence against snarky Slytherins.”

“This snarky Slytherin rather enjoys your acts of violence. Especially if it involves your smartass mouth on mine.” You flushed in response, which only made Theo smirk in satisfaction. “Now, come. We’ve got a lot of work ahead of us.”

The Astronomy Tower was the last place you expected Theo to take you to. He didn’t really strike you as a stargazing type of guy, but then again, you probably didn’t strike people as the type of girl who slept with her academic rival out of spite.

Maybe you both had layers. Layers upon fucked up layers.

The thought almost made you laugh hysterically as you silently watched Theo transfigure his robe into a blanket. He laid it gently across the wooden floor and beckoned you over. “Sit,” he said simply.

“This is awfully romantic of you. You take a lot of girls up here, Nott?”

“Only uptight little Ravenclaws who’d rather vex me to death than enjoy a stunning view of the stars.”

You snorted. “Sorry to disappoint.”

He rolled his eyes and patted the spot next to him. “Sit. I won’t ask again.”

To be fair to Theo (a statement you never thought you’d make), the stars were stunning tonight. You sat cross legged on the blanket and watched as constellations twinkled in the horizon. If you were up here with anyone other than the present company, you might’ve found it rather nice.

But alas, this was Theo you were talking about. It was only a matter of time before he ruined it somehow. Probably with a lascivious comment.

“Why are you sitting like you’ve got a stick up your arse?” Bingo. “Even more than usual, I mean.”

“Maybe you’re the stick up my arse.”

“Don’t joke, darling.” Theo quipped, placing a hand over his chest. “You know I’ve been asking for months.”

“Do not make me push you over that railing, Theodore.”

“Jokes on you, I find your threats incredibly arousing. I’m pitching a tent in my trousers just thinking about it.”

You rubbed your temples. “How is irritating the shit out of me supposed to be relaxing?”

Theo grinned, reaching into his pocket. “Because, I have this.”

With a proud smile, he produced a tightly rolled blunt.

“That’s your big idea?” you asked, wrinkling your nose at the joint. “Taking me to the highest tower in the castle and getting higher than a hippogriff so we can potentially fall down the stairs and break our necks?”

“It’ll help with your nerves.”

“The only thing wrong with my nerves is that you’re always on them.”

He smirked, sticking the joint between his lips. “You’re deflecting. What’s the matter, diavolina? Scared to partake in the devil’s lettuce?”

You rolled your eyes. “Oh for fuck’s sake, give it here.” Theo’s eyes widened as you took the joint from his mouth and stuck it in yours. “Well? Are you going to light me up or not?”

He shook his head in mild disbelief before pulling a lighter out of his pocket. You squinted at the silver Zippo, which had initials engraved on the front. The writing was too faded for you to read.

“I got tired of Mattheo stealing my lighters,” he explained. “This way I don’t lose track of it.”

The initials weren’t what surprised you. It was the fact that Theo even had a lighter in the first place. Most wizards just used magic to conjure fire. They certainly didn’t go around carrying muggle inventions in their pockets. It almost made you feel like you were back home in London, bumming a cigarette off some drunk after a night out in the pubs.

“Why not use incendio?”

Theo shrugged. “An irritating know-it-all once told me that not everything has to involve magic.”

It was strange to hear him echo your words.

None of it made any sense. Theo would’ve had to venture into a muggle shop to buy that lighter, which was unheard of for a pureblood. Especially not one whose family was part of the now disbanded Sacred Twenty-Eight. The idea of Theo walking around Camden Market to purchase a Zippo was more disorienting than the drugs.

This little discovery did not line up with what you thought you knew about him. You squinted at him in the dim light, inhaling deeply. The smoke filled your lungs and clouded your senses. Yet one question remained even as you exhaled.

Who the hell are you, Theodore Nott?

Sensing your gaze, he watched with a small smirk as you passed the joint over to him. It seemed impossible for the drugs to be taking effect so soon, but you found yourself mesmerized as Theo took a long drag. Smoke curled around his mouth as he leaned back on his elbows, tipping his head back to gaze up at the moon.

“Why the Astronomy Tower?” you asked after a few moments.

Theo shrugged. “It’s nice up here. Quiet. It helps to get away from the noise.”

“Strange. I’d become convinced that you sometimes speak just to hear the sound of your own voice.”

A set of dimples appeared on Theo’s cheeks. On anyone else, it might’ve been endearing. “Close. There’s also the added bonus of annoying you.”

You didn’t try to stifle your laughter. “Yes, I suppose that sweetens the deal.”

The two of you sat in silence, passing the joint every so often and quietly contemplating the stars. The absence of noise was jarring. You couldn’t remember the last time that you weren't surrounded by noise. Ravenclaws were a chatty bunch. Whether you were exchanging the newest piece of gossip or bragging about academic achievements, there was always this constant exchange of information.

Your brain was hardwired to process input. Without it, you felt sort of like a toddler who had just gotten their comfort blanket ripped away from them.

“Stop fidgeting, Y/N,” Theo commanded with his eyes closed. “You’re supposed to be relaxing.”

You frowned, picking at your nails. “I don’t think it’s working. Either your drugs are rubbish or my neurosis is canceling it out.”

He opened one eye lazily. His body language was languid, like he was floating through air. You envied him for it. “Just take a deep breath and empty your mind.”

“I know that may be easy for someone whose thoughts are typically vacant, but I’m not wired that way. I can’t just turn off my thoughts.”

Theo sighed and propped himself up on his elbows. He stared at you for a second before his eyes lit up with realization. “Of course. I’m so stupid.”

“No argument there.”

He rolled his eyes in response. “I’m trying to get you to relax the Theo way when we should be doing it the Y/N way.”

“What does that even mean?”

“Think of the one place in the castle where you feel most at peace.”

You cocked your head, contemplating. The answer came to you in an instant. “Okay. I’ve got it. What now?”

Theo rose to his feet and offered you his hand. “Lead the way, diavolina. Show me how the chronically neurotic unwinds.”

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#what i would give to get high in the astronomy tower with this idiot #theo nott #theo nott fic #theo nott smut #theo nott x reader #theodore nott #theodore nott x reader #theodore nott x you #theodore nott x y/n #theodore nott imagine #theodore nott smut

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redroomwidows · 13 days

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'I got one🙋🏻‍♀️ can’t you do Lee Russell x Neal’s younger sister reader? They’re secretly seeing each other behind his back and Neal walked in Lee’s office about to have sex or always having sex…. Up to you ☺️'

notes: everyone loves a good frenemies sister fic. I didn't go fully NSFW with this, it's just a bit steamy, and I made the reader plus-size cos I do what I like lol. Reader is not mentioned to be adopted or biological so view her as you wish. Lee is already divorced from Christine even if it's set at the start of S2!! Christine is a legend and I stand with her.

warnings: making out, inferences to sex, strong language (I mean come on). NSFW! Semi-public sex (they're in an office in a school in the middle of the day lol) Reader smokes and is described as wearing skirts and makeup. Reader is shorter than Lee. Blood mentions. unedited because I'm sleepy. Lee is definitely out if character because he is HARD to write for.

Lee Russell x plus size!fem! reader

North Jackson High was somewhat of a shit hole. Not a huge one, but there was definitely a mild stain somewhere. Two Principles in two semesters - three if you included the singular day Neal Gamby had walked through the halls - and five English teachers teaching one class in a year. The school was cursed.

That’s what you’d told yourself when you were offered the job as a TA for the next semester of school. Your brother, Neal, had insisted you take it - happy to stop seeing your worried face every day when you visited him at his ex-wife's.

“Look, one Gamby leaves, another enters,”

“That’s bullshit. You’ll be back there in no time,”

He was not, and his newfound friend had practically begged you to join the staff after your interview - you tried to tell yourself it wasn’t because of your brother, or the lowcut top you’d chosen to wear.

A few weeks into your new job, you found that Lee Russell was rather… eccentric. Loud, and unapologetic, he had a strange aura that had you pulled in, ending up with both of you going for smoke breaks in the forest near the back end of the school, and ending up with your cheeks flushed and skirt askew.

You didn’t expect it to take Lee so long to initiate office sex - he seemed like the type - but he was surprisingly sweet when it came to intimacy. As foul-mouthed as he was, it seemed he genuinely liked you.

It had become somewhat of a ritual, that every Friday during your final free period, you’d find yourself in Lee’s office, either helping him plan for his ‘get the teachers to like me scheme’, or bent over his desk, his cock buried in you.

“Long day?” you ask when you enter his office, shutting the door behind you and starting to pull down the blinds: Lee was sitting at his desk, head in his hands.

“Better now you’re here sweetheart,” he grinned, flashing you his teeth, you hum unbelievably and continue to pull down the rest of the blinds, before you can turn to him, Lee has stood up against you, his hands snaking over your curves and to rest over your stomach.

“Lee,” you warn gently, his lips starting to kiss along the right hand side of your neck “You gotta lock the door,”

“I’m just playin’,” he mutters, but there’s a teasing tilt to his voice, you smile, and let your head fall back onto his shoulder “I spoke with Neal today,” he starts

“Can we not talk about my brother whilst you’re trying to get into my pants?”

“Yes ma’am,” he smirks and spins you around, playfully pushing you behind his desk, you let out a soft giggle and lean by the centre of it as he approaches, swaying his hips dramatically before grabbing your face in his hands and pressing a long kiss to your lips.

He pulls away to breathe for a moment and you notice his eyes staying on yours “Hi,”

“Hi,” you giggle “What’s up?”

“Just wanted to see that pretty smile of yours,” that makes you smile more, and he leans in for another kiss, helping you to sit on his desk before his hands rest on your spread thighs to steady himself, he squeezes gently and runs his hand up closer to your clothed core. The small moan you let out allows him to slip his tongue inside, and your arms wrap around his neck, Lee pulls away, smudging your lipstick over your chin, and he returns to your neck, lightly nipping at it.

“Lee,” you moan out “I can’t go out there with hicky’s all over me,”

“I’ll be gentle,”

“You’ve never been before,” Lee lets out a huff of laughter that sends tingles down your spine, he breaths into you ear and speaks lowly

“Never complained before doll,”

“Oh, just fuck me,” you sigh, the foreplay already had you near soaked, and although it was only an hour ‘till the bell rang for the end of the day, you were desperate.

Lee hooks his pinky finger under your chin, tilting your head to look at him “Who’s the principle here darlin’?”

“You,” you breathe out and he grins, his other hand cupping at your sex before he drops your chin and goes to unbutton your trousers, he looks down.

“Jeans really? Miss Gamby, that violates our dress code,” he tuts

“You gonna write me up Mr. Russell?” he groans at that and leans his head back

“Oh you know just how to get a man rock hard darlin’” he presses his lips to yours again, and reopens your thighs, this time actually unzipping your jeans and attempting to pull them down. Your own hands keep themselves busy, unbuckling his belt, and slipping a hand down his trousers to palm at his underwear - he really was rock hard.

“Just been waintin’ to ravish you here,” he mutters, biting at your neck again “Wanna show all those cunts who’s boss,” you use your right hand to make him look up again, leaning in for a harsher kiss, biting at his bottom lip, he groans, tasting his own blood slightly. You two become too lost in your own lust too hear the office door open.

“Jesus Christ!”

“Shit!” you pull back, and turn around quickly, seeing your older brother standing there, jaw on the floor, he slams the door shut.

“What the hell Russell?! You’re fucking my sister?!”

Lee backs away quickly as you wipe the lipstick from your chin, staring to rezip your jeans.

“Well we hadn't quite got to that bit yet, and sometimes she fucks me,”

“Lee!” you scold, he puts his hands up in surrender - causing his trousers to drop down, showing only his underwear “Oh lord,”

“You wear briefs?” Neal questions

“Stop looking at my dick!” Lee exclaims

“You’re practically shoving it in my face!”

“Boys!” you jumps off the desk “Let-”

“Oh, you’re not in the clear here either missy!”

“Missy?! I’m a grown woman!”

“Who’s fucking her boss!” Neal shouts

“Do you want the whole school to know?!”

“I do,” Lee raises his hand

“Not now,”

“And we’re not just fucking Neal, we’re in a loving committed relationship,” Lee places his right hand on your waist and pulls you closer, you look down.

“Your dick’s poking me,” you say bluntly and Neal covers his eyes - finally.

“Pull your pants up Russell, you,” he points “I’m taking you home,”

“I’m technically on the clock…”

“So you’ll fuck him but not go home?”

“Yep,” you nod confidently “Look Neal, I get this is hard - Lee’s your closest friend,”

“He is not -”

“I’m not that fucker’s best friend,”

“I didn’t say best friend did I?! You’re close, okay! And I’m your sister, maybe of you read a book you’d know this happens a lot,”

“What?”

“Ask Amanda, she writes Y/A novels…”

“Getting off track darlin’,” Lee nudges

“Right! Anyway, I like Lee, and I can do whatever the hell I want! So get the hell out so he can bend me over this desk ,”

“Ew!”.

“That’s my girl,”.

#lee russell x reader #walton goggins x reader #x reader #vice principals fanfiction #lee russell smut #walton goggins smut

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schrodingerspsycho · 8 months

Text

Another Shot - Chapter 1

Pairing - Sam Carpenter x Reader

Warnings - None

Word Count - 1.5k

Summary - Enemies to Lovers. An unexpected reunion throws you for a loop.

Help Palestine by clicking this link!🇵🇸

You heard the bell above the door ring and started making your way to the front counter. It was a slow day and Tara, your new coworker and friend, was already up there, but you liked talking with the customers. You saw she was already helping the group and planned on hanging back in case she needed anything. That was until you recognized the tall woman grinning down at her.

“Sam?” You approached the counter cautiously, and her face fell when she saw you. “I didn’t think I’d ever see you again.”

“Y/N.” Her icy tone paired perfectly with the cold look in her eyes. You glared back at her. You couldn’t believe she had the gall to treat you this way; as if you were the one who-

“Wait, you two know each other?” Tara’s eyes darted between you, undoubtedly trying to decipher the tension that hung in the air.

“Yes,” you replied, without sparing her a glance. “We used to… hang out. Back in Modesto.”

“What are you doing in New York?” Sam asked, and you felt the pang of a long-forgotten hurt pierce your heart.

“I told you I was saving up to start classes at NYU,” you said, the bite in your voice sounding more like a whine. “You know moving here was my dream. We talked about it so many times.”

“Well, I must’ve forgotten,” she said unapologetically. “It’s been a long time.”

“Yeah,” you snapped back. “It has.”

“Woah,” breathed the guy standing behind Sam. The girl next to him slapped his arm.

“Why don’t you introduce us to your friend, Tara?” she blurted with a forced smile. “Since they’re already well acquainted with Sam.”

“Yes! This is my friend Mindy and my boyfriend Chad,” she said, and they waved at you. You smiled back at them, determined to leave Sam in the past where she belonged. “And this is Y/N. They were my trainer when I first started, and they’re my favorite person to work with.”

“Aww, thanks, T,” you smiled, placing an affectionate hand on her shoulder. Sam’s eyes flashed toward you dangerously, and you relished the fact that you could piss her off so easily. It was far from the comeuppance she deserved, but the small satisfaction almost took away the sting of seeing her again. “I’ll let you take care of your friends here. Let me know if you need anything.”

“Yeah, okay,” she nodded.

“It was nice to meet you,” you said, waving to Chad and Mindy. You couldn’t help but glare at Sam as you left, your emotions getting the better of you. “Of all the fucking people that could’ve shown up tonight,” you muttered to yourself, “why did it have to be her?”

You busied yourself with wiping down the trays, trying your best to keep your mind off of Sam. Fortunately, you were still an expert at that, and soon you were so engrossed in your task that you didn’t see Tara approaching you.

“Hey, what’s your beef with my sister?” she demanded. She didn’t sound angry, which was a relief, but she showed no intention of letting the matter go.

You shook your head, avoiding her eyes. “It’s nothing.”

“That was not nothing!”

“It’s in the past,” you declared. “If you really want to know, you can ask her what she did. But I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Okay.”

Her brows were knotted together in a troubled expression, her voice losing the loud confidence she always had. You didn’t have to know Sam to know she hadn’t told her little sister anything about the years she’d been away. But unfortunately for you, you did. You sighed.

“It was personal shit. You don’t need to worry about it. But it would be best if you take her order whenever she comes in here.”

Tara nodded and headed back to the front of the diner. Even though it was half an hour early, you decided to clean the bathrooms. Anything was better than having to face Sam again.

“Okay, what was that?” Mindy whispered loudly as they sat down.

“What was what?” Sam said, refusing to meet her eyes.

“That thing between you and Tara’s coworker! What did they do? I haven’t seen you that unhappy to see someone since Ghostface!”

Sam closed her eyes and shook her head. “What? No, that’s not… no.”

“Oh, c’mon! You used to “hang out” back in Modesto? What does that mean?”

“Hey, that’s Sam’s private business. She doesn’t have to talk about it if she doesn’t want to,” Chad said, ignoring his sister’s gasp of betrayal. Then he turned to Sam with the most adorable, pleading expression he could muster. “But I’ll buy you a milkshake if you tell us what happened.”

Sam raised an eyebrow. “Are you trying to bribe me? With a milkshake?”

“Is it working?”

“No, it’s not,” she replied, smiling in spite of herself. Mindy slapped Chad’s arm.

“Damn it, that totally would’ve worked when we were kids! Why aren’t you cute anymore?”

“Hey, I’m cute! I’m very cute, ask anyone! You think I’m cute, right, Sam?”

Sam just rolled her eyes. She was glad that after all these years the twins were still the same goofballs they’d always been, but that didn’t mean they weren’t a pain in the ass sometimes.

“-No, wait, shut up! We have to get to the bottom of this!” Mindy exclaimed, interrupting the argument she had started. She turned back to Sam, still far too excited considering what she was probing her about. “Please, you have to tell us! I’m literally going to die if I don’t hear this tea!”

Sam sighed and rubbed her eyes. She knew they weren’t going to stop. “We were friends, and then we had a fight. There’s really nothing else to report.”

“You are such a terrible liar, you know that?” Mindy smirked. “Fine, if you won’t tell us, we’ll figure it out on our own.”

Sam groaned, knowing she meant they planned to use Tara to get to her. But it wouldn’t work this time. Not even her beloved baby sister could get her to relive what had happened with you. At least, not for anyone to hear. That dreadful night had been replaying in her head from the moment she saw you, merciless in its vividity.

Luckily, the twins dropped the interrogation, and she didn’t see you again for the rest of the night. But the damage was done. You were in New York City and back in her life. Of all the places Tara could’ve chosen to go to school- to work- why did you have to be there too?

Sam tried not to think about you, she really did. But she’d never been good at keeping you off her mind, at least not on her own. She was thankful for the chaotic distraction the twins provided with their constant light-hearted bickering, but when they left for the bodega to get a midnight snack, she was left alone with her memories of you.

Before she could spiral too much, Sam heard the front door open. At first, she was relieved to see Tara. But she should’ve known better.

“Hey, how was the rest of your shift?”

“It was fine,” Tara replied with a tight-lipped smile. “What happened between you and Y/N?”

“What?”

“I asked them, and they told me to ask you what you did.” There was a look of apprehension in her eyes, but it wouldn’t be outdone by her morbid curiosity. “Sam, what happened?”

“It was nothing.”

“Don’t give me that “it was nothing” bullshit! I’ve never seen you freeze the way you did when you saw them, and I didn’t think Y/N could get that angry!” Tara took a deep breath and Sam shrank under her gaze. “You know I don’t judge you for whatever you did while you were gone, but the tension between you two was palpable. And you know the kind of tense shit I’ve seen.”

Sam swallowed, stuffing her hands into her back pockets and shifting her gaze to the floor. Tara waited patiently, and when she finally spoke, her voice was soft and shaking. “Let’s just say that when I knew Y/N, I was at a very bad point in my life. I did a lot of things that I regret. But there’s nothing I can do about it now.”

“That’s not an explanation,” Tara said, throwing her hands up exasperatedly. “I have to work with them every day now, I think I deserve to know what happened!”

“But you don’t, though,” Sam said, finally meeting her eyes and sounding as tired as she felt. “You can be friends with them if you want, I don’t care, but what happened between us doesn’t concern you, Tara! You need to leave it alone.”

“Sam-”

“I’m going to bed,” she stated, turning around swiftly and cutting off Tara’s attempted apology. She shut her bedroom door without a backward glance and leaned against it, covering her face with her hands. She wouldn’t cry for you. She refused to give you that kind of power.

A few miles away, in your own second-floor apartment, you didn’t grant yourself the same respect.

#sam carpenter x reader #sam carpenter #scream #enemies to lovers #scream fanfic #fanfic #another shot

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lxmine · 1 year

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can i request how diluc, xiao, scara, cyno and tighnari confess to the reader?

❝i love you.❞ + diluc, xiao, wanderer, cyno, tighnari x gn!reader

+. fluff

+. summary ; them confessing to you

+. A/N YES NONNY I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS MOMENT THANK YOU SO MUCH MWA MWA MWA and I JUST KNOW TIGHNARI ALSO ONOWS VARIOUS LANGUAGE JUST LIKE AL HAITHAM TOO, NOT MANY AS AL HAITHAM BUT U KNOW HE’S A SCHOLAR TOO HE’S GOTA KNOW OTHER LANGUAGES TOO

wanderer

sitting somewhere in vanarana, you didnt know such place existed, though you couldn’t see the children of the forest, you could still feel their presense near. kuni insisted on taking you here. you chuckled as kuni bashfully took the flower crown off him, but you kept on placing it in his head. “stop, this is so childish.”

“you look beautiful!” you complimented, cupping his cheeks making him look at you but he avoided eye contact. he sighs, how can such a mortal he calls his friend make him feel like this. though without a heart, he could feel something beating fast in his chest, he doesnt understand.

he clears his throat. if you were to embarass him, he too shall embarass you. confused when he so suddenly grabbed your face closer to him. “i… i’d destroy teyvat for you.” he says with a faint blush on his face. “if you are ever to be taken away from me… i’d gladly be the villain again.” he says softly caressing your face.

you smile painting your face. “is this your way of telling me you like me?” you chuckled letting go of his face, letting him just jold you. “wow, you’re not too dumb to not notice.” he jokes looking at your face. “i’d do anything for you, if you ask me.” he smiles, slowly leaning closer and closer. “kuni…” you whispered as your lips touched his.

“arapacati thinks it’s a happy ending!” says the aranara who’s beside them. “arakavi thinks arapacati should cover arapacati’s eyes.” arakavi says peeking over to the two lovers and then covering his eyes once again.

cyno

sitting at the tavern along with tighnari, kaveh and al haitham while cyno pours out drinks for kaveh. they both seemed drunk already. and cyno really does seem different while he’s drunk. “you know, you know al haitham?” asks cyno while a hand placed on kaveh’s shoulder. al haitham beside you gives them a side eye.

“of course, he’s my roommate after all.” kaveh chuckles. “oh god, i regret joining. they are so embarassing.” says tighnari who’s already dying of embarassment. “why is he always so close with yn!? are they together or something?!” cyno slams his fist on the table making you, tighnari, and kaveh startled.

“you know, you should keep your boy in line kaveh! i’m telling you, the next time i see him so close with them again… i… i will gut him!” he says giving the table another slam. “holy shit, cyno can you stop doing that, my ears are sensitive you know!” tighnari complains kicking the general under the table, but cyno’s eyes are glued to you. and you’re a blushing mess too.

“oh there they are. hello yn.” he smiles giving you a wave. al haitham chuckling beside you. “you, green man! get off, they’re mine okay?” says cyno standing up from his seat, swiftly pushing al haitham off. “yn~ i love you so much.” he mumbles clinging onto you. “im so glad i bought this kamera.” al haitham says before snapping a picture to black mail the mahamatra.

diluc

diluc didnt know what to say nor how to react. looking at you smiling at him unapologetically. “how… how the hell are you even smiling right now?” he asks sternly, looking at you with an intense glare making you feel really scared. “look, i’m sorry okay? it’s just… i thought i was of help so i jumped into the scene!” you explained.

“havent i told you to not act so impulsive!? look where that got you!? you almost fucking died!” oh no, diluc is cussing. that’s when you know you messed up real bad, because he too is screaming now. “i told you to stay back, protect yourself from harm while i do my damn job. i could’ve lost you!” he says almost in tears slowly walking over to you.

falling onto his knees in front of you. “‘luc… why do you even… worry so much?” you asked placing a hand on his cheek. he looks at you with his adoring gaze. “i would have thought you caught on by now.” he chuckles, holding your hand that is caressing his cheeks and kisses your palm. “i love you, yn. i always will.”

he held your hand tightly but softly, as if you’d slip away from his grasp the moment he lets go. “i love you, so please? i know your will to help, i adore that. but i don’t wanna lose you.”

tighnari

“wrong.” he chuckles looking at you work on your sumerunian essay. you aren’t from sumeru after all and just moved 3 months ago and still working on the language of sumeru. gladly tighnari became your friend as soon as you moved in to gandarva ville and he also knew how to speak your native language.

“huh?! but isnt this how people confess!?” you asked looking at your paper. “your worded it literally, you have to change some words in order to make it look appealing, don’t just short cut it. how do you say my darling you are so beautiful?” he asks, leaning his cheeks onto his palms as he watched you think. a smile painting his face as he watched. “jamil habibi!” you said proudly.

“close but not quite. it’s habibi ant jamilat jidana. you short cut it again.” he flicks your forehead lightly. “hey.” he calls, looking at him with a small pout. “Je vous aime.” he says which means i love you in fontaine. “i think i’ve heard that before. let me get my fontaine dictionary.” you said taking out a huge book out of your bag. “go on, i’ll wait.” he smirks

(i just got these translations from google translate idk how to speak french and arabian pls T-T)

xiao

“i see you collecting trinkets here and there, i didn’t know you’re one to be fond of them, xiao.” zhongli smiles as he looks at the yaksha from behind. it is surely a surprise that the yaksha has come to liyue harbor without any occasion. “re- mr. zhongli… i actually came by to see you…” he asked hesitantly. “would you wanna talk it over some tea? it helps with calming down, helps you express yourself more too.” he smiles.

now there the two are, inside wangsheng funeral parlor. “i believe people would call this as love, xiao.” zhongli smiles at he looks at the yaksha. “am… am i even capable of having such feelings? am i deserving of it?” he asks playing with the but butterfly shaped crystal on his hand. “of course.”

“even the evilest of creatures has one they love. don’t be harsh on yourself, child. everyone is deserving of love.” zhongli puts a hand on his shoulder. “i suggest you face it. love is a beautiful thing, it’s special. don’t waste it.”

and now here he sits outside your home at the shade of your tree while he ate almond tofu. he admires you while you looked through the stylish box of trinkets he had given you. “why don’t you just put it in a simple box, it’s much more easier that way.” you chuckle as you put the small compass necklace inside the jewelry box.

“it’s because it’s special.” you smiled taking out another one, this time, a hair pin that seemed to be from inazuma. “how so, they’re just things i found from the wilderness. i thought… you’d like them because i see you collect stuff like that.” he looks away before munching in the last bite of his almond tofu. “it’s special because it’s from you, xiao.”

gosh that look on your face. it makes his heart beat fast and his cheeks go warm. “love is bothersome.” he grumbles, earning a chuckle from you. “but then i guess, if it’s you whom i’ll love… i don’t mind.”

RAAAAGGGGHHHG OMG I JUST MADE A BOUQUET OF PAPER FLOWERS IM SO NERVOUS I GOT DARED TO GIVE IT TO THE PERSON I LIKE T-T

#genshin impact #genshin x reader #genshin impact x gender neutral reader #kunikuzushi x reader #scaramouche x gender neutral reader #wanderer x reader #cyno x gender neutral reader #cyno x reader #diluc ragnivindr x reader #diluc x reader #tighnari #tighnari x reader #tighnari x gender neutral reader #xiao x reader #xiao x gender neutral reader

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writella · 10 months

Text

Working It Out

Synopsis: The group has been on the road for months— they’re starving, distraught, and frankly, getting sick and tired of each other. After an argument about how to proceed, Rick decides they should split up to take a break from one another. You and Daryl go off into the woods, but what was supposed to be a silent search for food turns into a loud breaking point.

Details: Daryl Dixon x reader, afab!reader, before Alexandria era, smut 18+, this takes place in the woods, tiny bit of oral fixation, handjob, fingering, tiny bit of pussy slapping, penetration, getting caught, possibly inexperienced (I wrote it as unconfirmed) or just horny, hasn’t had sex in who knows how long Daryl, reader talks about killing and dying, Daryl and the reader fight, but of course I added a little bit sweetness because how could I not?

A/N: This was not one of the two Daryl fics I’ve been talking about but the idea came to me and I decided to finish this one— hope you like it. ♡

The trees turn into flashing streaks of green and brown with spots of blue from the sky as you try to catch up to Daryl. He was only walking, but his pace had become relentless, it’s almost as if he was running. His brisk strides became larger and faster, not helping your weak and worn down body. Everything feels just a little dizzy and your stomach growls, even Daryl could hear it.

“I would’ve been able to fix that,” he growls back, “if you didn’t make so much fuckin’ noise.” He speaks from the side of his mouth, “That’s the first rabbit we’ve seen in weeks.”

“It wouldn’t have fed all of us anyway.”

“Nothin’s feeding us now.”

“I’m the one who found it!” You snap, “I’m sorry I tripped on a gun. I wasn’t the idiot who decided to leave it there so I could fall and we could all go hungry again for another day.”

“It’s cause you don’t pay attention.” He was talking about your tracking skills: “How long we been at this? Use the trees. Move slow. Walk light.” He speaks under his breath, spitting to the ground, “Bet even a walker knows that.”

Your voice is agitated and angry, “Why are you being so mean today?”

“Why are you acting like such a damn brat?”

“Maybe because we’re homeless!”

You shout louder than you should have, you hear rustlings now, it makes you both raise your weapons.

“Shut up,” Daryl says hushed and slowly. It’s rude, but you know he means it because of possible danger.

After deciding it was probably just another animal you lost out on, you continue, your voice somber, “Or maybe it’s because you don’t talk to me… You never talk to me.”

Your emotions wave from anger and sadness and back again as you sneer, “And I know it’s because you’re just unapologetically yourself, right? And we all just have to take it,” you scoff. “Stoic Daryl, never talks about his feelings so I always have to guess all the time.” You’re shaking your head now, you almost cry out, “You’re not easy to deal with… And I try so hard.”

Daryl’s face remains untouched by your words, but you know better, it’s the way his eyes don’t meet yours, but you still don’t feel like he understands. “You’re like talking to stone… or maybe a walker.” Your words become sharp and biting as you continue to use his reference against him, “Maybe then I can just shoot you in the head and you’d never hear my mouth again. Or maybe walkers really are that much smarter than me and I can just shoot myself, save us both the misery.” Your voice becomes bitter, “Bet you’d like that better.”

He grits his teeth now, his eyes dart venomously, but still they never met your own.

You could tell the last part had to do something to him more than before, his head shakes more hair in front of his face as he looks down, his features grim.

You started to feel bad, knowing that you probably went too hard. It wasn’t a joke to talk about dying, and most certainly not in this world.

You didn’t like when you were the reason to cause Daryl distress, but it also upset you how much of a pull he had on you— your emotions easily shifting with his.

Just as caring as he was, he could also pretend to be equally as unconcerned. It was so easy, yet so hard to love him.

It felt like the beginning of spring when he was warm; like gaining something new and special over and over; like when you said something sweet or silly enough to earn a smile. It felt like every time he used to say “you commin’,'' when getting on his bike at the prison, knowing that you wanted to, knowing that your eyes would linger as he rode to the gate, always waiting until the last second to ask if you could unless he asked first.

But when he was cold, it hurt; like winter in December, like losing something as fast as you got it. You were left guessing at what he was feeling even more than before and never understanding how much space or how much attention to give him to help. You knew it was hard for him to speak, you understood it personally, but it made it harder for you to be there for him when he never at least explained that.

Turning his back on you, Daryl walked forward, leaving you as he went deeper into the woods, and as much as you felt bad for becoming so spiteful, you weren’t done: you walked faster too, turning him around, you pushed his shoulders, you pleaded contentiously, “Say something!” Your grasp on the sides of his arms are firm now, you shake him once, “God, just say something,” one of your hands pounds on your chest, shouting, “just tell me what’s really going on or what happened for once in your life!”

No response. Of course not. Your arms drop defeatedly. His eyes are indignant as yours implore hopelessly.

Your voice starts to crack, “No one’s going to know how you feel or how to be around you if you don’t- just- talk.” Your last word is a final push to him on his shoulders.

Daryl twists your wrists away until they’re down by your sides, and you yank your hands from him.

“What do you want me to say?” His voice becomes more guttural the louder he gets, “That you’re fuckin’ annoying? Always gettin’ on my shit? On the back of my bike? Always right behind me?” His movements are erratic, “You ain’t easy either. You’re always everywhere when you don’t gotta be.”

Your eyes are crestfallen now, but the anger remains.

“Just leave me the fuck alone,” Daryl barks. Pointing a hard finger in your chest as he finishes, “For once in your life!”

“You’ve never told me to not come-”

“I never asked for it neither,”

“-or at least meant it when you said it—you never say no— you even ask me- I- I thought it was okay,”

“Cause you just keep on!” His voice turns low and desolate after, “But I never asked for it. I ain’t never asked for you.”

Your eyes linger on his face for a moment, your glare becoming a sad gaze as you watch the strands of hair that cover it become more sweaty and frizzy from the heat, hiding him more.

“I didn’t ask for you either. You just came one day and… I’m sorry-“ a heat begins to rise in your throat, “I’m sorry that I came back with you. You didn’t have to take me to the prison,” your voice starts to choke up, “I’m sorry that afterwards I- I didn’t want to be away from you.”

Tears began to well in your eyes, but you turn away before the first ones roll, you start walking ahead.

He doesn’t stop you. After a moment he just follows a few feet behind, making it evident he’s still there by allowing his feet to crunch on the leaves.

Even though you’re leading he still doesn’t say no, doesn’t actually let you leave him alone. The fact makes you frustrated, your hands ball up and you can feel your nails digging into your palms. You try to breathe in deeply to stop your weeping, but the more you try the more angry you get. The feelings start to erupt again and every inhale becomes a sniffle as more tears fall.

Daryl stops walking again. More distance is placed in between you two until he says your name.

You end your trek without turning around, “What,” your voice is cross as you wait for a response, but Daryl is already there behind you.

As you face him you try to hold everything in. Barely breathing as you try to stop your crying, but you can’t help but allow another big tear fall as you look at his eyes, so blue and downcast; they look like rain. You forget that they are that color. He’s always squinting.

His thumb wipes the tear that falls on your face and now more starts their way down from your eyelids. When another tear melts as his fingers fall further down your cheek with it, they reach the tip of your lips. He stays there for a moment, the rest of his hand holding your chin.

You look up at him, your eyes so doleful and wide. Daryl’s thumb rubs into your skin only slightly, never moving too far in except to the corners of your lips until you move your head for him. His thumb is sliding against the bottom of your lip now.

You want this to be a pure moment where you kiss him, or truly, where he finally kisses you, and it’s sweet, and tender, and he tells you that he loves you and that he sees how deeply you care for him.

Of course you would simply love for that to be how your first intimate moment with him would go.

But you haven’t eaten, and even as teary eyed as you are, you are furious, he’s so frustrating. You need more. This is not that moment.

As your heart races and your final tears begin to spill and dry, the tip of his thumb continues to brush against your open mouth and you can’t help that your tongue feels compelled to taste it.

Your chin raises as you take his finger in your mouth, letting it slide inside all the way and then you start licking and sucking, feeling the pad of his thumb move from the top of your mouth to your taste buds. It tastes like dirt, you won’t lie, but it’s his.

Daryl says nothing, he only looks on attentively, entranced. He never even suspected you would do something like this. He switches to his pointer finger and uses his thumb to tilt your head up further as you suck on his longer finger. It’s thick, but it’s filthy, you both need a shower, but you don’t care.

You hum lightly on his finger until you release it from your mouth, letting it slide out.

You lick the drool of your lips and he licks his fingers. It’s messy and dirty and you can hear the smacking sounds as he pops the two in his mouth, his eyes looking directly into yours now as he does it. It was only your spit and he wanted to taste it.

You plead, “Daryl please, will you just kiss me-”

And he finally does it. His big hands wrap around your neck and jaw, tilting your face so far upwards as he places his lips to yours with his open mouth. His kisses are immediately chaotic but deep, his wet lips feeling against yours as his tongue works its way inside your mouth.

Your hands wrap around the back sides of his shoulders and you move farther into him. Nothing matters now. You are finally getting to feel him on your lips. This is the man who you have loved since you’ve met him and he’s finally showing you he wants you.

You don’t even care that your group or a walker or a guy with a gun could show up at any point, the thought is terrifying still, but his hands are on your hips now and you’re dying to see if he’ll go lower, you’d probably let him do anything.

You feel his thumbs playing along your lower hip, flicking the start of your jeans as he continues to kiss you, his tongue sliding against yours.

You start to do the same to him, wondering if that will help. Looking up as your fingers linger over the button of his pants, you ask softly, “Is this okay?” He nods and you start to unbutton them, finding it hard to contain your excitement.

“But you don’t gotta-”

“I want to.” You interject. You’re a little embarrassed by how fast you say it, but you still go straight to unzipping his stare, making his jeans hang a bit lower on his hips.

You look up at him, as your hand slowly travels downward. Your hesitancy fades, you’re so desperate to finally touch him, to have this moment. You start palming him through his underwear. His hum is so sultry with its rasp you feel it in your cunt as it pulses. You almost moan when you hear his voice turn into a grunt as you continue and then into a whimper as you dip under the band and start to stroke him. You never thought Daryl would make a sound like that.

He feels so big, so nice and thick in your hand as you continue to pump him. Your thumb plays with the tip of his pre-cum, moving it up his long shaft. You wonder how he would feel inside— if he can even fit inside. The thought makes you pant as you continue to stroke him, continuing to look up at his face, watching his eyes close. You can’t believe you’re finally touching his cock and that you’re the one making him feel good, that he likes your hand around him.

His head rolls back only slightly and he allows you to keep going for a few more moments, and then it seems he’s finally ready. His movements are quick as he pushes you to the ground, kicking off his shoes and then taking off your own.

He takes off your shirt and your pants without thinking, and then he takes off his vest and starts to unbutton his own shirt. His moments slow when he reaches the bottom.

You see the tattoo on his chest peaking through, you know the ones that are on his back, you know what else is there as well. You’ve seen it once, he’s shown you. It was one of your first vulnerable moments together. He did it to make you feel less alone. You two always did that for each other.

“You don’t have to take it off,” you whispered him.

He kisses your lips slowly but shortly and takes it off anyway.

You remind yourself to be gentle if you put your hands on his back later, he looks slightly nervous, but then as he looks at you on the ground, eyes trailing over your body that is only in your underwear, his eyes grow darker as he asks:

“Can I do what I want?”

This makes everything stop. Your mouth is half open, your eyes are lustful, you nod slowly and it makes his dick twitch with how seductive it looks. You didn’t even mean for it to look that way, he’s just so fucking handsome and he just asked for permission to make you his, you can help but gaze at him in a trance. Of course you’d let him have it.

He starts rubbing your through your underwear, watching as your wetness seeps through instantly on the cloth when he touches you lower. He takes them off along with his pants and he leans himself against the nearest tree and pushes your back to his chest, moving one leg over his thigh. He spreads your legs wide and looks over your shoulder.

His hand trails over your pussy. His fingers are tentative as he starts slowly from the top until his finger finally slides over your hole at the bottom and then he pushes in a bit as he feels for the wetness.

Instantly you’re a mess and your wetness starts seeping out, making it easier for him to slide his fingers up and down.

It seems he can’t find where he wants to touch and his wet fingers go everywhere from your hole to the lips to your clit and back down.

“Higher,” you sigh, “please.”

He goes up a little bit starting to rub.

“Higher,” you whine, “mmm… mm- there!” He’s rubbing your clit now, pinching it. “Yes,”

After a little while, his hand travels lower again, now taking two of his fingers and pushing them inside your hole until he can’t anymore. He pushes them in and out of you harshly 5 times until he stops. Circling his fingers inside of you and using his other hand to push your legs further apart, exposing your cunt to the outside air, “If someone comes,” he says in your ear, “they’re going to see you coming first.”

His words turn both of you on even more, making you whine as you feel his hardened dick rub against the side of your ass.

He starts to pump his fingers in you more steadily. Your eyes trail your surroundings, wishing you had picked a more bushier part, you truly were exposed, but then his fingers start to curl as they dig inside you, finding a spongy sweet spot you didn’t even know you had, one Daryl didn’t even try to find, and it makes your eyes shut, your head resting itself back on one of his shoulders as your whine again.

Your hands come to the other side of his neck and chest and you hold on as he goes faster. Daryl allows your hand to make his head go forward so he can look at his fingers thrusting into yours, enjoying the sound of your sopping cunt. His voice is gruff as he groans at the sight, taking his fingers out of you to slap your pussy, twice, watching the wetness bounce, hearing you whimper before putting his fingers back in again.

You hear him make low unintelligible sounds in your ear as he continues to watch. He goes slower, intently looking at how his fingers disappear in you. He takes them out again, “Daryl-” you say sadly.

“Lay down.”

Your elbows are propped up now. He lines himself up with your entrance. His cock looks so fat as he stretches your tiny hole, making it bigger as he pushes in slowly.

The feeling of him going in inch by inch makes you gasp slowly, then it turns into a moan as he bottoms out. Your head falls back on the floor and your eyes close.

He stays there for a moment. Not doing anything, just looking at you, reeling in the sensation of your tight pussy around him.

Your eyes almost open as the wait becomes unbearable, “Are you going to- ah!”

He snaps into you, moving slightly out and back in, it’s a pounding motion. Your body shakes as he continues, going faster and faster. His hands go to the sides of your head as he grunts, looking at how your tits bounce as he continues to thrust.

He sees your head shake, your eyes scrunch, it’s all becoming too much. You’re wincing like it hurts.

He touches your face now, his movements becoming softer and your eyes relax as you look up at him. He comes down to you and kisses you deeply again, just like he did at the start. You allow his lips and tongue to take over completely and you just melt into him as he rocks his hips against yours, you feel so full.

“Would you kiss me like this when we find a new home?” You ask, letting go of his lips.

Daryl meets your eyes, if he could look into yours any deeper, he does. His tone is so low but his words are so sincere, “I’ll kiss you like this anywhere.”

You reach up to take his face in your hands, kissing him lightly, it’s something like clouds. “Would you kiss me like this too?”

He nods, “I’ll kiss you like that.” Looking down he adds, “any way you want.”

Daryl grinds into you again, rolling his hips. The pace slowly gets fast, but it feels more intimate this time. His forehead falls in yours and your back arches and you try to meet his movements.

Daryl started to pant, his sounds gruff until your cunt squeezed so tightly, quaking around one of his thrusts that it made him whimper and he says your name. His noises because inexpressible and your own follows afterwards, ultimately saying, “oh- Daryl- please-”

You’re almost there, you see the outlines of stars, the shine of them almost being filled in, you see the insides of your eyelids getting closer to reaching that glow of bright lights as your body is on the cusp of your climax until-

“Oh-” he laughs to himself quietly, putting his hands low on his hips as he turns only slightly. “Sorry,” Rick says. His smirk is so faint, his jaw even clenches to erase it, but you saw. Immediately when he spoke, your head shot in his direction.

Daryl quickly finds your shirt, putting it over your head and grabs your pants, helping you put them over your feet until you take over so he can put on his own shirt.

Through hooded eyes, Rick had to have seen Daryl’s dick swing as he got up, retrieving his pants and putting them back on as Daryl stared at him.

You look up at Daryl as you get up yourself. His eyes give no details of his surprise to Rick as he finishes buttoning up his shirt. Rick’s eyes are averted, you don’t know what he’s thinking about what he just saw except that he definitely saw it. Never more did you wish to have Daryl’s talent of impassivity, especially in such an exposing scene.

“Well,” Rick starts when you two are finally dressed, “Yeah, so Michonne, Carl, and Judith and I stayed on the roads, we kept walking until we found a car someone left near a tree. They were idiots for driving it in here, big branch fell on it, we got it off but it has a dent. Right when we got it to run we heard voices. Guessing it was their car. They were running from another group and then they started running faster to get us. Some of them took care of each other… we took care of the rest,” he pauses. “Anyway we drove back to rendezvous and found Carol. Carol’s looking for Glenn, Maggie, Rosita, Tara. Michonne and Carl are looking for the rest of the guys, and I- was looking for you two.”

“Hm,” Daryl’s voice is indifferent as he starts walking, “Let’s go.”

“Let’s go,” Rick agrees, his voice has a hint of the humor he’s trying to suppress as he chuckles once.

The two men walk together and you walk a few paces behind, still absolutely wordless.

After a few minutes, Daryl slows his pace, creating distance from him and Rick.

He looks back at you now, “You good?” He asks only loud enough for you to hear as he comes a bit closer, he takes your hand lightly, though he still walks in front of you. You simply nod, but your face is still flushed. “Okay,” he says softly before letting go.

“Are you?”

He shrugs, it’s so small, just as small as the closed mouth smile that faintly curls on his face. His answer makes you laugh a little. You liked that he was honest. You start walking with him now.

Rick is still up ahead, putting his hands in his pockets, facing neither of you as he finally speaks again, “It was a pretty heated moment we all had back there,” your eyes widen as he continues, “Before. When we separated, I mean. It was dumb. It’s good we took a break, but the fighting, that was stupid. We find a way together or not at all.” His words are firm, but there is a heavy doubt in his voice when he adds, “But we can’t keep going like this, we need to figure something out,” he sighs, shaking his head, “And for everyone to get over their damn attitudes. At least for the night. It’s getting late and we need to find shelter.”

Rick turns his head slightly to look at Daryl through the corner of his eyes, making sure there is enough space from him and you as he turns forward, unashamedly grinning to himself now, “Glad you two found a way of working it out though.”

#the walking dead #daryl dixon #daryl dixon x reader #daryl dixon x reader smut #daryl dixon x female reader #daryl dixon x afab!reader #daryl dixon fanfiction #daryl dixon smut #twd fanfiction #twd smut #the walking dead fanfiction #daryl dixon imagine #daryl dixon x y/n #daryl dixon x you

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ann1-wr1tes · 2 months

Note

Can you do an NSFW alphabet for Sukuna?

Dynamics: Sukuna x Fem!Reader

Synopsis: Spicy Alphabet

Warnings: Adult themes, obviously smut, Sukuna himself is a warning

A/N: Ah yes, the King of Curses. I hope you enjoy!

-----

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

-Lets be honest here, this is Sukuna we are talking about. Usually he'd do nothing and just leave but lets say he likes you...he'd probably get rag and clean you up a bit. If you asked him to run a bath or shower he might do so begrudgingly.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

-His favorite body part on his partner would just straight up your tits and ass. The man knows what he likes and he is unapologetic about it.

-On himself it would probably be his stature. Not really a body part, I know but he just loves the size difference. He loves how much larger he is than you and he makes sure he takes advantage of it.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

-He loves to cum on your face. Its just so amusing to him when you get all embarrassed and flustered. The hazy, fucked out look in your eyes and his cum all over your face is one of his favorite things to see.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

-He'd love to fuck you in his true form. You think that there's already a size difference now? Well wait until he fucks you in his true form not to mention having four arms rather than two can really come in handy when he's trying ruin you.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

-I can imagine that back in the day, Sukuna had many concubines so of course he's got experience and he's actually quite cocky about it. He definitely knows what he's doing...

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

-Doggy. He doesn't really care about looking at your face or anything and when he fucks you from behind he can shove your face into the mattress and fuck you nice and deep from behind.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

-Nope. Not goofy at all. This man probably doesn't even know how to crack a joke normally so trying to be humorous while you two are fucking...probably not gonna happen.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

-Honestly Sukuna probably doesn't care all that much but he may trim it every once in a while.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

-You would have to be very well liked by Sukuna to even get close to any sort of romanticism. He's always rough and fast, not really taking much time to revel in any "ushy gushy" feelings. However, he could be a tad bit more gentle if you begged him. Then he might take the time to be a bit more feely.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

-Doesn't masturbate often. I mean why should he when he has you? But he has a pretty high sex drive so sometimes he does but he'd much rather just rail you than use his hand.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

-Size kink. Obviously. he just loves getting to loom over you, looking all big and scary. He also has a bit of a degradation kink. He loves to see you stumbling over your words while he calls you a "his favorite slut" or "pretty little whore" and whatnot. He can be mean ngl.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

-This man does NOT care. Unlike other people, Sukuna has no shame and quite literally gives no fucks. If someone walks in on you two, he does not care and if anything it makes him feel more cocky about the whole situation. So he doesn't really have a "favorite spot". Anywhere will do.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

-He likes some feistyness. He likes it when you act like a brat because that really gets him going and gives him an excuse to just absolutely rail you. Or you could always wear something a bit more skimpy to get his attention.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

-Hate so say it, but this man refuses to be a bottom. Period, end of story. He just won't do it. Anything that makes him lose control, he's not into.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

-Receiving 100%. He loves throat fucking and is absolutely merciless when you decide to go down on him. He just wants to see you choke and cry when you try to take him in your mouth.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

-You all know the drill. This man is fast and rough. I don't think he really knows the meaning of "slow and sensual". He has very little patience so going slow is not something he really likes to do.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

-He is totally fine with quickies. In fact I think he likes them. They get the job done and relieve him of some pent up energy. Though I don't think they'd be often. He is a god. He's got all the time in the world so he never really has to have quickies.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

-As i've said before he doesn't care about risking it. he'll fuck anywhere and I think he actually likes the risk aspect of it. When it comes to experimenting he's not so eager. He's kind of straightforward when it comes to fucking and doesn't feel the need to experiment. But if you brought up something that peaks his interest then he may consider trying something new.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

-I don't even know how long he'd be able to last but it would be a long time. Sukuna has been around for a ridiculous amount of time, he's the King of Curses...I think he'd enough stamina to last a while.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

-He does not own any toys and I don't think he'd be keen on using them. Why do you want to use toys when you have him? Of course, you could always show him just how fun they can be and that might get him on board with the idea.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

-OH HE IS SUCH A TEASE. if he's in a mood he will not hesitate to edge you or tease you with your own orgasm. Remember, he likes to be mean and if he's feeling extra he might make you wait. He'll get himself off and then tease you until you start begging.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

-He's not loud when it comes to moans and groans but he's got a big mouth. He's constantly talking and uttering things under his breath, whether that be petnames, degrading remarks, or demands, he's always got his mouth running.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

-He would never admit it but he likes it when you leave scratches down his back. After he's done fucking you and he can feel a little sting on the skin of his back, he looks in the mirror and finds red marks trailing up and down his back. It kind of inflates his ego and he knows he fucked you good when he walks out of the room with an scratched up back.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

-I am too scared to say how big but I think we can all agree that this man is huge. Taking him would be a tad bit painful and lets hope he preps you enough beforehand.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Very high. He honestly doesn't even need a reason to fuck you, he's constantly horny at this point lmao-

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

-He probably waits for you to fall asleep first. His reason being, he doesn't want to pass out before you and seem all soft and vulnerable. Plus, he can't lie to himself, sometimes when he looks at you while you sleep, you look so cute...

#ryomen sukuna #sukuna ryomen smut #jujutsu kaisen ryomen #jjk ryomen #ryomen x reader #sukuna #jjk sukuna #sukuna ryomen #sukuna jjk #jujutsu sukuna #sukuna x reader #sukuna x you #sukuna x y/n #jjk x y/n #jjk x you #jjk x reader

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dabisbratz · 1 year

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can we cam up? eren yeager x male reader

w.c: 4.3k

genitalia terms: dick, cock, hole, fuckhole, cunt (1 time), pussy (1 time)

WARNING: spit, blowjob, rimming, anal (obvi), creampie, dirty talk, humiliation, filming, degradation, humiliation, nerd!eren, jock!reader, intoxication, may read kinda dubious but it’s 100% consensual, light d/s dynamic, alcohol, weed mention, dumbification, eren compares you to a hentai character one (1) time bc he’s deranged

a/n: i was kicking my feet twirling my locs screaming into my pillow writing this and it shows. also eren has a BIIIIG phat crush on you but i didn’t wanna get too into it… you definitely remember him, probably even sexted him w/o even knowing it was him

Let’s get one thing straight: You're not an arrogant man. Not at all— in fact, you’d consider yourself to be quite humble. This night may be about you and your winning score, but you’re humble about it. Considerate, even. So you feel no guilt when you accidentally spill alcohol on someone’s shirt, explaining that if they can somehow find you on instagram and send a DM, you’ll pay for the laundry and potential damages. The stranger peers at you with a funny glint in his green eyes as his hands pull the wet fabric apart from his skin, his glasses falling down the arched bridge of his nose.

You shrug and wave to your teammates, your football jersey loose on your form as you make way through the frat house’s large interior. Music blares in your ears for the millionth time tonight, the bass rattling your skeletal system with each increasingly tipsy step you take. Grinding, flushed bodies invade your vision, all around you as you shimmy through the sea of bodies to pour yourself another generous shot. Cool, blue rays of strobe lights dance and flicker across your eyelids. Warm, pink rays that caress your cheek like the confines of your safety helmet, the vinyl of your mouth guards. It overwhelmed you at first, so bright and unapologetic as your eyes adjusted and focused.

Somewhere beneath the tranquil hum of alcohol flowing through your veins you can feel your phone buzz in your pocket, rippling through your skin and sobering you up just a little.

Your girlfriend.

She’d been blowing up your phone all night, something along the lines of forgetting her gift for your anniversary— what was a few weeks, anyway? — and how ungrateful you were for yours. She was a good lay, a quick way to resort to getting your dick wet on particularly lonely nights; when you couldn’t stand the sound of silence dancing around your head. But that was all.

You shake the thought of her squawking voice the second you find Connie, surrounded by sorority girls with glossed lips and pink-tinted eyes. Finding solstice in his company, they’re huddled relatively close, knit together in some sort of baked clique. He’s perched over a bong, lighter in hand as he inhales the fumes with muffled haste. Pothead.

Your hand finds the crown of his head, palm nestled in the bristles of his buzz cut. Noone is allowed to touch Connie’s hair, at least not when he’s coherent enough to stop them. It usually ends in flying fists and bruised cheekbones, but all the man sends your way is a hazy glare. Someone punching the university’s all star just isn’t a good look. Especially when he’s pretty and popular with the public.

“Do that again and I’ll throw this bong at your head.” It’s an empty threat, clear of malice and slurred on Connie’s bitten lips.

“Yeah, yeah,” You steal the smoke exuding from his mouth, swishing the fog in your mouth a few times before blowing it back into his face. “Never again. Scouts honor.”

You shoot back up, mind reeling and posture straightening as a particularly pretty cheerleader hands you a bottle of something you can’t quite make out. It’s brown and rich though, smacking against the glass as you take a swig and chase it down with Connie’s leftover beer of all things.

One thing leads to another and suddenly you’re trapped between sobriety and full on plastered drunk. You remember chugging something sickeningly sweet, despite it leaving a harsh burn in the back of your throat as you took in a deep breath of victory. There were many eyes on you, loud cheers reverberating off the walls as you’re hoisted into the air for your skillful performance and high-fived by your frat brothers. But there are those green eyes again, staring straight through you with a look you can’t quite place.

Not that you can place much. You’re shitfaced.

He smells good, you later discover. There’s a strum of wind as he pushes forward and straight by you, weaving through the crowd like he’s invisible. The swaying of bodies— the sight is still so freshly imprinted in his brain, and it makes his head swim while liquor glides across his tongue, clumsy and inexperienced. He must not get invited to parties often. Or maybe he does, and you’ve just never noticed him.

He’s quite nerdy, some sort of graphic design on his stained shirt that resembles that of a video game or cartoon logo, and a poor excuse of a beard litters his chiseled jaw. And oddly handsome, pale face flushed from the alcohol, pink and pooling at the apples of his cheeks as he stares at you expectantly. But you’re not into men, and all the shots in the world couldn’t get you to even think of advancing with one. He quirks his thick brow in passing, settling back into his seat with a depleting mumble you can’t make out under the loud music.

But the alcohol paired with the sultry music-choice is doing things to you, you can’t help but stare longer than you should when he swallows down his adams apple, throat bobbing as he downs a fruity drink. His tongue darts over his lips, quick and steady as he nods along to the bass. You’re thinking with your dick, pushing past the batting lashes of cheerleaders and curvy bodies of sorority girls until you’re uncomfortably close to the guy who won’t stop looking at you.

“Do you- do you have a staring problem?” You ask, a slight slur to your voice as your face leans in close enough to count the nerd’s lashes individually.

Just to reiterate, you’re not arrogant. In the slightest.

He jumps back in response to the evasive question, strands of hair falling over his glasses as his emerald eyes roam your face. The lines are blurring now, his nerdy, almost irritating face looks kissable and inviting— his parted lips look warm and skilled. You can smell the pineapple on his tongue, sweet and citrusy.

“You heard me,” You hiccup straight into his face, watching his gorgeous features distort into something not even remotely akin to disgust, which makes confusion rack your brain. “Do you talk, or what?”

Your tongue is sharp, much to Eren’s chagrin. You’re too pretty to talk to people like that, especially him. He may look the way he does, but that doesn’t mean you can talk to him like that. It’s not like he can’t recognize a brat when he sees one. Usually, you’re a bubbly team player— everyone likes you, even if they say they don’t. Still, he shakes his head, humoring your drunken irritation. He understands, at least a bit, as he has a natural temper of his own.

Truthfully, Eren has been keeping his eyes on you for the past millennia. It started when he accidentally walked in on your practice, a sunny day that simply got brighter when he saw your face, cheerful and bright as you joked along with your teammates— Jean, Reiner, Levi? Was it? It didn’t matter, his focus was on you.

You and your sinfully tight compression shorts. You and your hands that curl into fists as you grasp at his sheets like a lifeline, as if holding them tight will somehow keep him inside of you, right where he belongs.

You and your stupid football that’d smacked him right in the face at full speed. But it was in his favor, you came running over apologetically as he rubbed away the blooming bruise. Your voice was sweet then, a melodic chirp that he couldn’t stop thinking about since then. He wants to hear it break.

It seems you too always meet at the expense of his dignity. But not tonight.

“Your phone is buzzing,” Eren grunts, sliding his glasses back up his nose and turning his head away. His glasses are fogged up, but it might just be saving his pride. He’d rather not get hard in front of the person he’s been fantasizing about for the past few months, not when you clearly had no recollection of him. He doesn’t blame you. “My bad. I’m not, yknow, stalking you or anything.”

“Oh, because staring for hours and stalking are very different things,” You’re staring at his lips now, ignoring the vibration in your hand. The second your phone screen lights up you slam it face-down into your front pocket. There isn’t an ounce of remorse in his voice, like his response is calculated and open-ended. “What if I like that?”

Your eyebrows wiggle, even with the mind splitting sensation of your brain beating against your skull. Almost as hard as your heart hammering in your chest. Eren’s scoff is barely audible over the music, but the comment has his heart racing.

You pull him in by the collar of his t-shirt, fists bunched up in the dark fabric as your lips press against his. It’s feverish and sloppy, your teeth occasionally grazing his own. His mouth is hot and wet, fruity essence on his tongue as it slips past your lips and into your mouth. You’ve never had a kiss feel this good. He nips at your bottom lip, pearly teeth digging into the skin until he feels you make an embarrassingly high pitched noise in your throat.

There’s a twinkle in his teal eyes as his posture straightens, slowly leaning back to catch a breath of fresh air (as fresh as it can get, anyway). You watch him readjust his position, lifting his hips instead of his actual body, practically rutting into the thickening air as he shifts. His bubblegum lips curl into a lazy smile as his fingertips circle the rim of the red solo-cup he’s been drinking from. “What if I like you?”

Your breath catches in your throat.

“Your phone just doesn’t shut up, does it?” There’s clear agitation in his voice, his arched eyebrows furrowed as your feet carry you somewhere much more secluded. Eren trails behind you, his eyes glued on the mound of your ass as you walk. He has to help you occasionally, without even knowing the layout of the place, just so you don’t fall over. The light shine of your phone screen emits across your hip, and he can see the contact of whoever it is that’s so deeply desperate for your attention.

Too bad it’s all on him.

“I’m a pop— popular man.” You finally respond, shutting the door behind you to what Eren assumes is your bedroom in the frat house. It’s between two other bedrooms and across from three more, with a sizable closet that holds more trophies than clothing.

“Can see why, pretty mouth like that,” The words slip before he can think, but it’s worth it to see the way you oh, so conveniently hiccup in response. The implication of you being some type of campus whore makes your throat feel tight, and you can’t help but twitch in your tight pants. “Talks a lot of shit, though.”

“You talk too much.” Correction: he doesn’t talk enough. But you shut him up with a kiss anyway, hungry and frantic because whatever this is, whatever you feel when you look at him, you don’t want it to end. His hands travel under your shirt, cold from his previous icy drinks, and you squirm under his palms. He spreads goosebumps across your skin, and when his fingers brush the bud of your nipples you can’t help but jolt where you stand.

A malicious grin snakes across Eren’s face, all teeth and predatory as he runs his tongue over his sharp canine teeth. “Been thinking about fucking you for weeks. The whole time we were talking, all I could think about was shoving you down on my dick.”

Oh. Your cock aches at that, which is almost already too much for you, you’ve never done this before. Not with a man, not with someone who looks at you like they’re going to devour you whole. You swallow hard, alcohol dispelling from your body the more blood rushes south, and suddenly you’re on your knees, unbuttoning Eren’s jeans with trembling hands.

The door locks behind you, a small click that only the two of you can hear. You look back up at the nerd, who’s watching you intently with a smirk.

He’s a complete juxtaposition to his appearance— if you were a bad man you’d call him a loser, but he exudes dominance and power. You want to wiggle under his gaze, shifting your weight between knees. Eren’s large hands cradle your face, oddly tender and affectionate as he rubs your cheekbones, slowly sliding them to the sides of your head. He lifts your gaze, forcing eye contact.

His glasses hang low on his nose, clouded from his breath as he lets out a satisfied sigh. You want to pull on his hair, flyaways barely reaching the base of his neck as the rest remains in a ponytail.

“This okay?” His tone is beyond sincere.

“Yeah,” You breathe, momentarily losing yourself in the forest of his irises. Blinking rapidly, Eren removes his hands from your head to free himself from his jeans, his long cock decorated in a small vein that disappears below his head. It’s pretty, arched against his stomach and dripping onto his shirt. The leaking precum makes you wonder how long he’s been hard. “Yeah. This is—this is more than okay.”

“Open,” It’s more of a command than anything, Eren’s very hands on, his fingers slipping into your mouth to pull at the corners of your mouth. Your tongue covers your teeth, your mouth watering as his salty fingertips graze your tongue. His other hand is busy working at the head of his cock, twisting smooth circles over the slit until it crashes down against your tongue. Again, and again, and again. “Good boy.”

You find yourself drooling on your jersey, sucking in a deep breath through your nose as his tip rests on your tongue. He goes slow at first, letting you suck on the tip while his fist roams his shaft. You’re a big boy, he knows you can handle much more than just the head— even if he is thick. Your eyes water immediately, gagging instinctually as he shoves his dick deeper into your mouth. “Say thank you.”

Before you can pull away with an answer, both hands return to the back of your head, holding you in place. He encourages you to breathe through your nose, cooing at your inexperienced efforts to catch the drool escaping your mouth, and even goes as far as to wipe one of your tears, “Gonna thank me? F’letting you be such a good, warm n’ wet hole for me?”

You feel yourself nodding, blinking hazily as he rocks in and out of your mouth. There’s a sound you don’t recognize coming from your throat, squelching and soaked, and it has you whimpering on the mouthful of cock. You don’t mean to make such a pitiful noise, but it feels so good, letting yourself go a little brainless over a cute boy.

You slurp loudly— not on purpose, but it earns a throaty chuckle from the man above you. He pulls out to let you breathe, his cock slowly sliding up your throat and past your lips until all you can do is whine and lean forward, lips wet with spit. The tears in your eyes spill unabashedly, your face nearly crashing against his dick.

“Thank you.”

“Hm? For what?”

You want to groan, to bang your fists against the wall because he’s being so mean. He knows what you mean, you know what you mean. Regardless, still focused on his cock just inches away from your face, you moan against nothing. It’s a light noise, breathy and quiet but effective enough to make his cock jump. “Please, please— I mean- fuck, thank you for letting me be…yours.”

Eren tuts, feigning annoyance as he grips your chin between his fingers, digging into the soft skin so you’re actually focused on his face. You smile into his palm, eyelashes batting against your cheek and he just can’t help but spit onto your cheek.

“What, d’you just go dumb the second you see some dick?”

You’re barely listening, instead grinding against the fabric of your jeans because his touch treatment has you feeling some kind of way. “Does your girlfriend know her boyfriend’s a cockslut too? Does she know other boys spend their nights getting your holes wet, fuckin’ you in the same bed?”

It’s much easier to hear the vibrations in your pocket now that you’re alone, the only barrier between you being the muffled music on the other side of the door. Eren’s hand leaves your jaw, and you have no complaints when he helps you to remove your jeans.

The jersey can stay on, though. He wants to fuck you in it.

He pushes you into your bed, watching you bounce in the mattress in nothing but your jersey, and helps himself into solely his birthday suit. You’re just as exposed, seemingly moreso, as he pulls your bottom half into his lap. It’s an odd position, not anything you’re used to, maybe your exes and past hookups— but never you.

Eren hunches over, his breath tantalizingly close to your hole. First, he licks a fat stripe across the surface, holding your thighs open when they threaten to instinctively close. You can’t prop yourself up on your elbows at this angle, your feet dangling over his shoulders while he holds you up. The nerd is stronger than he looks.

His tongue is hot and wet, and you feel yourself clenching when a glob of spit lands on your hole. He massages it in with his ring and middle finger, and your body finds itself squirming against his touch. You expect fingers, one at first, maybe, then another. But instead he uses his tongue, lets it dip inside and lap at your insides. Eren looks hungry, his eyebrows furrowed in concentration as he spreads you open and holds you there with an iron grip. A punched-out “Eren!” leaves your lips the second his tongue is lapping you up, leaving tingles up your spine and smog in your brain.

He kneads his fingers into the fat of your thighs, nipping occasionally where your skin folds into your ass, just to get another choked whine out of you. And, oh, you whine. The intrusion isn’t unwelcome, in fact, the feeling of Eren’s face slick with his spit as he tries to get his tongue as deep as he can into you makes your toes curl. You fist your bedsheets, finding comfort in the pillows you’re pressed into, and go as far as to hold yourself open for the man while he goes to grab something.

“Oh, baby. You shouldn’t have,” You shiver at the sound of his dark chuckle, and squeal when his ring finger finds a spot next to his tongue. “Look at that. Hole’s leaking. You just sit here and look pretty while I fuck it on my tongue, hm? Think you can do that?”

“Mhmmm, mhm, yeah! I can— I can do that, ‘Ren.” You sound like a bitch, with your nose buried in your pillow as you moan with every brush to that special spot inside of you. Your cock jumps against your stomach, leaking into your belly button and down your chest. Your jersey is ruined, but so are you, especially when Eren rubs your cock once, twice—

Holy shit. You’re cumming.

“That’s it, come on, give it to me.” Your jersey catches it all, right over your reserved number and embroidered nameplate. Your brain is too fried for you to care, tears streaming down your face as your hole flutters on his tongue and fingers. Sensitive now, moreso than you were before, you whimper and shimmy in Eren’s lap, simultaneously moving toward and away from his touch. He keeps you where you are though, staring at your blissed out face through clouded glasses and licking his lips like he’s just finished eating the best meal he’s ever had. And as if that’s not enough to have you cumming again already, he places an open-mouthed kiss to your puffy hole just for good measure.

“You felt so soft on my tongue, fuck, I almost busted right on you,” His cheeks are pink, and the rosy shade blooms down his neck and disappears into his chest. He pulls you forward by your wrist, sucking on your tongue and licking over your lips so you can taste yourself. He’s gonna be the death of you.“Bet this hole’s gonna be even softer. Nice and warm while you take my cock. Gonna let me cum inside? Pump that soft cunt full until it’s all creamy and used?”

He’s so filthy, so unashamed. The nickname doesn’t go unheard, and despite the slutty moan that you let out in response, part of you wants to pinch him just for that. Damn Eren and his shameless mouth! But you nod anyway, an everlasting stream of ‘yesyesyes’ floating in the air as he lines himself up to finally give you what you’ve been gagging for so prettily.

Eren just can’t help himself. Not when you’re folded up and presenting yourself to him like this. Not when your eyes are wide and your lips are parted and you’re letting out such pretty sounds. Sounds that belong to him. Plus it’s not all on him, you’re the one with an unlocked phone. You’re the one with space in your camera roll.

He’s sure the camera is shaky, maybe even a little blurry, but he makes sure to get your face in it, fucked-out and crosseyed as he pounds his dick into you, keeps you steady with his hand on your jaw. A string of precum connects you together, pooling at your ass and Eren’s thighs as his hips crash down, yours convulsing upward to meet him halfway. It’s a bit half-assed on your part, but who’s gonna blame the guy getting fucked stupid?

“‘Ren, you’re,” You sob in disbelief, eyes rolling along with your hips. “You’re— ohh, you’re fuckin’ me.”

He smiles down at you, feral and heated as he buries himself to the hilt inside you, his balls slapping against the curve of your ass. He never seems to stop, always chasing that feeling of you clamping down on him even when you’re almost too sensitive to take it. “That’s right, I’m fuckin’ you. Just how you like it, hm? Right in your fuckhole. S’what it’s there for, right?”

“That’s—“ Absurd? Vulgar? Objectification? It’s hot. It’s hot and you know it, Eren knows it, and your dick sure as hell knows it too because you can feel your next orgasm coming. “Yeah. N’my fuckhole.”

He makes a pleased sound in response, groans and pants joining your moans when he speeds up, his slow and deep strokes becoming fast and hollow, pounding that sensitive spot deep inside you over and over and over. “Should train you to take this dick.”

“Hold on,” Despite looking straight at him you can’t understand what he’s saying, not until his glasses are placed over your eyes and you’re blinking away the prescription blur. You struggle to collect yourself, wailing as you reach for his free hand that begins to nestle between your jawline and your neck. He squeezes affectionately, lets you cry and arch on his cock while he breathlessly sighs, “You look straight outta my favorite hentai.”

And, technically, you’re making a sextape now. A tape that showcases closeups of his cock disappearing deep inside you, pummeling your puffy hole until it carves the shape of his dick into you. Until only Eren can fit, big and thick and unbelievably deep. A tape that has you, a popular and well-known straight jock, crying on the dick of a guy you just met.

“Eren, m’gonna… ‘Ren—” You may as well scream, your body tensing as you spray across your chest — when did your jersey get bunched up enough to expose you like that? — sticky cum shooting out your spent cock until you’re twitching, handsfree and body ablaze. He doesn’t let up, castelon eyes narrowed as he fucks you through it, watching more cum squirt from your cock, milking himself for all he’s worth. “Inside, wanna be full, I deserve it, please, Rennie.”

He bounces you a few times, watching you fall back onto his cock until he feels himself aching hard, hard enough to start cumming inside you. It’s the nickname that gets him, groaning loud as he pumps a load inside you. It’s messy, and downright pornographic watching his cum leak out of you, just for him to fuck it back in with the head of his dick. It’s clear you feel proud of yourself for making him tremble inside you, and Eren takes the opportunity to scrapbook the memory.

“C’mere,” He’s not asking, simply pulling you closer to the camera so it can focus on your cum-stained face. “Smile for me, baby. Tell your ‘girlfriend’ how much you like it in your pussy too.”

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netherfeildren · 1 year

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Someone's Wife in the Boat of Someone's Husband .1

Series Masterlist : Moodboard

(Joel Miller x F!Reader)

Summary: What do you do when you meet a woman, have a child, get married, and then find the love of your life?

-OR-

A Joel infidelity AU

Content Warnings: Discussions of alcoholism and parent death.

Rating: Explicit 18+

A/N: Hi, everyone. Welcome to the new story.

Disclaimer to begin with. Joel is married in this, but it is, and always has been, a marriage of convenience. There has never been any sort of emotional or physical intimacy between him and his wife apart from when Sarah was conceived.

Like always, I promise there will be a happy ending, and that there will be lots of other fun :) stuff to make up for the occasional tears.

I appreciate you all so much. Happy (lol I guess) reading. xx

Art is The pain that keeps on giving, Noelia Towers, (2018-2019). Title of the story comes from this film.

Word Count: 6.8K

Read on AO3

Life changes in the instant. The ordinary instant.

Joan Didion, The Year of Magical Thinking

The first time you’d fucked, it was like you’d never been touched by a man before. The first time he’d looked at you, like you’d never been seen, in the entirety of your existence, prior to that moment. Every other time after that, every touch, every look, was the same – a rebirth of sorts. And a devastation. Something not to be understood or conceptualized, only experienced.

Taking that into account, it’s no surprise that things unfolded as they did – ended as they did.

“Please, please, come with us,” Gerri drags the vowels out and hits you with the puppy dog eyes. You shake your head at her, smiling, packing up your supplies from tonight’s lesson. “It’s going to be so fun, I promise. Tommy’s sister-in-law hates my guts, I know, what-fucking-ever, but my sister and her girlfriend will be there, and my best friend’s planning on coming too. And there’s an extra bedroom, it’ll be perfect, I swear.”

“Yeah, I remember the sister-in-law from Easter.” Of course you remember her from that day. Gerri had invited you to their family barbecue, and the woman had pitched a fit that Tommy’s girlfriend, somehow posed as an insult, had dared invite someone without asking her permission first. It was also the first time you’d met him. And he was, by far and large, the reason you’d stayed away and evaded all subsequent invitations since then. Even if his wife had unapologetically said to your face that she found it crazy that people still party crashed, no matter that that hadn’t been what you’d meant to do, hadn’t known you were party crashing. She’d also thrown away the bunny cake you’d stayed up the entire night before making. No gluten in the house or something, even though the hamburger and hot dog buns had all been regular.

“Oh my fucking God, Easter. Don’t even remind me. I know, I know.” She gives you a pointed look and you huff a laugh at her. “But that was months ago. Her and Joel were on the outs then, or… had just gotten back together… I can’t ever keep up. And well… they’re still on the outs now–” She scrunches up her face into the cutest little frown. You love Gerri so much. From the first moment she’d shown up for your Tuesday night ceramics class at the community college, she’d immediately decided that not only were you going to propel her into the upper echelons of the great sculptors of the world, the greater Austin area – her words, not yours, but she’d also immediately decided that you were going to be friends, and no, you did not have a choice in the matter.

“But they’re always on the outs. And things haven’t been as bad recently – according to Tommy. But honestly the fuck does he know about all that anyways. My poor baby is so clueless – but still, please, please please,” she begs, pouts your name over and over again. “Please, come with us?” She brings her clasped hands up under her chin in a pleading gesture, hits you with the puppy dog eyes again.

You were so grateful for her. Despite your recalcitrance, it’d always been hard for you to make friends. A byproduct of who your mother was, being an only child, a largely solitary upbringing, et cetera, et cetera. You’d needed Gerri’s tenacious spark and kindness to pull you out of your shell. She wanted you to join her, her boyfriend Tommy, and their friends and family at a house they’d rented on Lake Austin for the weekend as a sort of end of summer farewell. And you did – you wanted to go, bunny cake murdering sister-in-law and all, but there was the issue of him.

You were… there was not a single phrase for what it was your mind turned into when that man and his name and his face invaded your psyche. So you’d done your best to avoid him in your mind and in real life, at all costs. He was – he was not something you were capable of considering.

“I’m not sure if I can, Ger–” you say slowly, wracking your brain for an excuse. “There was– one of the other teachers at the elementary school–” Your day job, when you weren’t teaching night class ceramics, was as an elementary school art teacher, “Asked if I’d cover for them on Friday – summer school.” Stupid excuse, you roll your eyes at yourself.

“Oh, shut up. The summer camp classes end early – you told me that last time! You could drive up after.” She sidles up to you now, rests her curly haired head on your shoulder. “Please, you’ve said no to everything I’ve invited you to since Easter. You aren’t avoiding me because of the shitshow that was, are you?”

“No, of course not.” Yes, yes you were. Just not for the reason she thought. “I would just hate to impose–”

“You wouldn’t! I swear you wouldn’t be!”

“You all already have your plan, and I–”

“No! No. My sister’s the one renting the house, and she said I could invite whoever I wanted. So, no one can say anything,” she sticks her tongue out, rolling her eyes. “And Joel said I should invite you too. I’m pretty sure he still feels badly about last time also.” Fucking hell, you did not want him feeling bad for you. At all. Ever. You did not want him ever thinking about you ever, ever, ever.

You stand over the kitchen trash bin, staring at your destroyed cake. Your grandmother used to make it every Easter. Four separate cake loaves all cut into the shapes for a face, two big pointy ears, and a cute little bow tie, with a pineapple filling, and all covered in little flakes of coconut and your homemade vanilla frosting. You used jelly beans to make the eyes and nose and dark frosting out of a piping bag for the whiskers and mouth. It was your favorite cake, one of your favorite memories, one of the only good ones.

“Fucking Christ, she did not throw it away. Please, don’t tell me that’s the cake you brought.” Large hand gently placed between the wings of your shoulder blades to peer around you, not touching, but still there, still very close, and yes, that’s it, you’ve gotta get the fuck out of there now, away from this man.

“Oh, no. It’s okay – I– I mean– I should’ve asked before. I didn’t know you all were gluten free. I should’ve asked…”

“What? Glu–” he frowns. You knew his wife, Eva, had made that up. You step away from him, from his large warm palm that feels like it’s burning through your clothes and skin. He was really, really and truly the most unfairly gorgeous man you’d ever seen. He fucking terrified you. “Oh, yeah. The gluten.” He went along with the lie, passing the offending palm over his mouth, the wiry scruff of his beard rasping softly against what you imagined to be work roughened skin. He’d said he was a contractor.

Gerri had invited you to her boyfriend's brother’s house for the Easter holiday. It was the first invitation to something you’d gotten since you’d moved to Austin six months ago, and you’d been so, so happy that she’d asked, had felt so sad you’d not have anyone to share your cake with. You’d planned to take it to work with you to leave in the teacher’s lounge for everyone to share. The thought had made the back of your eyes pinch, for some reason.

“It’s alright. I actually need to head out. Could you let Gerri know? I– I’m–” you couldn’t think of a lie, and he was staring at you like he knew you had no real excuse – like he knew you were uncomfortable and out of place and were just looking for an excuse to leave. Embarrassment burned in your cheeks.

“Don’t go, please. Stay for a while longer. I’m – fuck– I apologize about the cake–”

“No, no– really it’s–” you held out a staying hand, but he’d cut off your false appeasement.

“Please, stay.” He’d taken a step forward, closer to your retreating form, and you’d felt almost faint, dizzy at the image of him stepping closer to you. He was so tall, huge really, broad chest, thick arms, dark, lush curls and a scruffy jaw, a peek of chest hair covering the tantalizing golden skin at the opened button of his shirt. Sexy, deep Southern twang. The loveliest, warmest eyes you think you’d ever probably seen. You were going to try and mix the exact color of them when you got home, even though you knew you shouldn’t. You hadn’t been interested in a man in months, maybe longer, couldn’t remember the last time you’d had a crush, an anything on anyone, and now this man. Suddenly, blindingly, out of fucking nowhere – so damn attractive. Your eyes had fluttered shut for a second and you’d swallowed, trying to regain your balance – you’d known him for all of two hours and he already made you feel unbalanced. You needed to leave.

“Really, Joel,” his name on your tongue almost had a taste, “It’s okay.”

“He– He did?” you stutter. “He shouldn’t feel bad – he has nothing to feel bad about, it was nothing.” Lie – lie, lie, lie. Meeting him that day had been – it had been everything. You’d thought about it, him, for months afterwards. The sight of him with his three year old daughter, Sarah, the sweetest little thing you’d ever seen. Helping her hunt for the Easter eggs he’d hidden around their backyard, letting her crack the bright confetti filled shells over his head. His excitement for her when she’d finally found the basket he’d made up for her. He was a good father.

“Yeah, and Tommy said he’d like to see you again too. And I told my sister about you, and she thinks all my pottery’s fucking amazing, by the way, and she wants to meet you too, and she’s even thinking of enrolling in the class next semester so really, really you’re obligated to come.” Fucking menace – she smiles sweetly.

“Oh, fine. Fine, fine. I’ll come.” You’re putting away the last of your tools. “I’ll drive up Friday afternoon when I’m done at the school.”

Immediate hopping squeals, and this is why you love her. She’s so happy, so open and silly, friendly and funny. All the things opposite to your restrained quiet, shy to the point of aggravation, sometimes. You didn’t want your constant refusals to alienate her. You could see him again, it would be fine. You’d met him once for Christ’s sake. It meant nothing. It had probably been nothing that day, heat exhaustion or a stomach ache or something. Nothing to fawn and stress over. You’d just be polite, cordial, keep your distance – especially from his wife. You did not, did not want to provoke her greater dislike. You’d keep your unwanted baking to yourself this time. It would all be fine. You wanted these people to like you, if you were being honest. A little desperately. Gerri and Tommy, her sister you hadn’t yet met – you wanted to be part of their group, one of their friends. They were all so kind, welcoming and fun, you couldn’t ruin this for yourself.

Gerri had spilled the beans on the marriage over one afternoon of too many Mexican martini’s, an Austin specialty, and chips and salsa. They’d gotten married three years ago after Eva had gotten unexpectedly pregnant. Joel was traditional, he’d asked and eventually she’d agreed. They were both older than you, he’d just turned forty recently, and you guessed it’d made sense for them, at the time, but she’d left them soon after Sarah had been born. The marriage, the baby, hadn’t been in her plans, too much for her, Gerri said. They’d been separated for about a year and a half until she’d come back. They seemed to be trying to work it out now. Gerri claimed they were both miserable. You’d only met them the once – well, you’d seen Joel a few weeks ago, from a distance, when Tommy’d come to drop something off for Gerri before class, sitting in their truck. You don’t think he’d seen you – but you thought that their misery was very obviously apparent in that way that was easily recognizable to someone who, at one point, had existed in a house made only of misery. It breaks your heart for them all, in different ways, to recognize that singular brand of dissatisfaction that comes with living in a home where no happiness resided with you.

But the reality of his marriage made you all the more terrified of him. To ever see him again. You wanted no part of that. Didn’t even want to exist in the same vicinity as someone who was experiencing something of that nature. You’d had enough of unhappy marriages and painful households in your own childhood. You never wanted to deal with that again.

You’d read once that infidelity was a hereditary trait. Studies had shown that if you’d had a parent or even a sibling, someone in your household during your development, who’d been unfaithful, you were then more likely to also be unfaithful yourself. Something about that sort of childhood trauma inciting a propensity in the offspring to find it difficult to later on trust romantic partners, to incite trust themselves. Trust issues, emotional unavailability, baggage, blah, blah. Sometimes nature versus nurture was a real bitch, in your opinion.

But as much as you wanted to call bullshit, the thought, the possibility of that being true, filled you with such an intense fear — debilitating, paralyzing, life altering. You found yourself with an immense inability to trust yourself, more than anything. Your greatest fear, the thing that scared you the most in all the world, was that you would be the perpetrator, that you would be the one to commit that sin. That you’d lose control, self awareness, morality, yourself. It wasn’t something your mind could even come to terms with, the possibility of hurting another person that way, betraying them in that manner. It seemed like the worst possible thing in the entire world that you could ever do to someone. After all, you’d watched your mother do it to your father, over and over again, your entire life, up until the point that she’d up and left the both of you. For many years, after her fateful abandoning, you’d watched him drink himself into a stupor and then into a grave. Years of waiting for her to come back, in love with a ghost or a figment of his imagination, for the woman he’d made her out to be, within the ever forgiving and naive confines of his love, had never existed. Something you could see, even through the lenses of your child eyes.

She was an eternally flawed woman. Selfish, vain, manipulative, deceitful, but there was good in her too. She was eccentric and beautiful, and she could be kind, so funny, and immensely intelligent, her mind and wit, always sharp as a whip. It was, you thought, what made her so talented at deceiving others, at getting her way. She outsmarted everyone she came into contact with. But she was also weak and self serving, had never met anyone, in all her life, who she loved more than she loved herself. Not even you. Sometimes, you thought, especially not you. For you were the living reminder of all she’d lost and been forced to give up. It was a difficult, complicated, painful relationship you had with her, even now, all these years later.

After she’d left, she’d kept in contact with you sparingly. The occasional call or birthday card. It had taken her three years to feel like seeing you again after she’d left when you were ten. The pains and awkwardness of puberty long started, endured on your own, before she’d even had the foresight to remember she had a daughter who might need her. It was an exceedingly painful and lonely time for a young girl to survive on her own, but you bore it, as you did the entirety of the fallout that came with her leaving.

Your father was another story entirely. He’d fallen to pieces, completely, the day she’d left and had never had the strength of will to ever pull himself together again. It was a strange sort of existence the two of you had lived in those years, keeping each other company. Physically, he was there, but he was never present, never sentient. He drowned, for years and years, in a sea of pain and liquor, and he never resurfaced. You watched him sink, a young girl incapable of comprehending or acting in a way that could’ve helped him, as much as you wanted to or even tried, all of it was futile. Eventually he hit the bottom of the ocean and died there, and you were left more alone than ever.

You remember there’d only been four people, in total, at his funeral. You and two men from the shithole bar he liked to lose himself at every week and the priest. It was a terribly painful thing to live through on your own. Humiliating in a very specific and acute way, for some reason. To know that this sad, pathetic specimen of a human being had had a hand in creating you, to know that he was your father and that you loved him, despite his weakness, his vices, his lack of care for you, you loved him. And you felt interminably sorry for the creature he’d been turned into at the hands of an uncaring and poisonous love. You hadn’t been able to tell her for ten months, after he’d been dead in the ground, that he’d passed. She’d not called, didn’t like giving you her number, said she was too busy to have to worry about you calling her at all hours of the day, as if you’d asked her for a single thing in the decade since she’d left.

And you loved your mother, even after it all, you did, but it was a poignantly devastating moment, the day you realized she was not just your mother, but her own person, as well. The day that childlike naivety, unconscious self centeredness, was cast away to realize that she was savagely flawed and human, and that she did bad things that hurt good people. And still, and still she was your mother and you loved her. Your greatest influence, the hand that shaped you, and you loved her despite everything. It was only that, after the rose tinted glasses had been ripped away, and she was only then herself, nothing more – pedestal forsaken – she was just a flawed woman who sometimes made mistakes, made the wrong choices, hurt you and your father and fractured your family. That was a hard thing to come to terms with as a young girl.

You realized now, with the lifetime of experience she’d inherited to you, that motherhood built a pedestal and a grave, all at once, over and over again. A woman could vacillate between being the Madonna and the whore, and the cycle was inescapable and destructive and enticing, all at the same time. It was something that one could try to avoid or run away from, but many times, it caught up to most, hooked its claws in you and dragged you away from the things you would’ve wanted or done otherwise. You realized this was what had happened to her. She’d never been built for motherhood, for the responsibility of raising a child, so she’d desecrated the altar of it, taken a sledgehammer to it and freed herself in the only way she saw she could, collateral damage be damned.

And so you’d isolated yourself, for the thought of doing the same thing to someone that you might have loved or someone that loved you, was soul destroying. And that was the saddest part of this whole overly cliché tragedy – that you were sure that, at a certain point in her life, she’d loved your father, as well. Perhaps not enough, not enough to change who she was, what she really wanted, but she had loved him in her own way, nevertheless.

Parallel to the tragedy was the ironic reality that in some very safely guarded part of you, you longed so, so desperately for your own chance at a happy family, love, children. How could you not? When you’d never experienced it for yourself during your own childhood. Always having to make your own meals, get yourself ready for school, alone at ten years old, walking to the bus unaccompanied, no one ever waiting for you, expecting you, watching over you. Alone, alone, always alone. How could you not want to build your own normal, loving, happy family for yourself? You wanted it very badly.

But there was also no part of you that felt, in the most vital ways, capable of showing your underbelly in such a vulnerable way. You had always been too sensitive, a weeper from a long line of weepers, and the second thing you were most terrified of, after turning into your own mother, was being left again, abandoned to another derelict and lonely childhood. So your aloneness suited you, for now. At least, in terms of your romantic life. Your isolation kept you safe, guarded from those that would savage the sensitive and salted battleground that was your heart.

That, however, did not mean that you were immune to wanting, to the disease of yearning, of desire, and so you found it most unfortunate, cosmically laughable and cruel, that it would be this man, this married, beautiful, entirely unattainable man, that would have reminded you of that desire again, after it had lain dormant for so long: Joel.

Joel tried to think of you only in the moments when he was feeling particularly strong. It was a challenge he’d set for himself from that day, all those months ago, when you’d appeared at his house on Easter. Like a fucking angel or a creature out of a fairy book. Soft and luminous and so fucking pretty. No, Joel tried very, very hard not to think of you.

He failed often, though. He’d not forgotten you since that day. Had tried to fish, as subtly as possible, through Tommy, for information. See if he’d heard anything about you from Gerri. Any new details or gossip about the pretty little art teacher. Tommy was a terrible goddamn gossip, like a clucking hen. And Joel knew, he knew empirically, that thinking of you was wrong. That he had a wife that he needed to be respectful of, even if she was never respectful of him, fucking her coworker – or had been… still was — he couldn’t keep track anymore – didn’t really care, if he was being honest. But you, you were the one small, private thing he kept for himself. The thought of you, the image of you in his mind, you were only for his moments of great necessity. You’d been so sweet that afternoon, walking into his home with your bunny cake. That fucking cake haunted him – the look in your eyes as he watched you stand over the trashcan staring at it. He’d been so scared you’d start crying, that he’d have to comfort you, that he’d be able to take you into his arms. He’d been terrified of what would become of him if he’d gotten the opportunity to feel you like that. But no, you’d left. Made up some weak excuse he knew you could see he didn’t buy, and had quietly left, not even saying goodbye to the others. He’d had a terrible one-sided argument with Eva that night. Told her she’d been unnecessarily rude and cruel, doing that to a complete stranger who was just trying to be nice. She hadn’t batted a single eyelash, all his frustration going in one ear and out the other.

He could, to a certain degree, understand where her behavior came from. He knew she was unhappy, he knew she hated their life together. That it was nothing like what she’d ever envisioned for herself, and so she acted out sometimes. At his age, he found now, that you couldn’t ever really fault a person for not being what they’d never been meant to be. He understood this, had accepted that his marriage would never be of the happy or intimate sort. That Eva had never wanted to be a mother, but had felt trapped by circumstance. He dealt with it. Or ignored it. Avoided looking directly at the ugly reality of it, more like. He had Sarah and work and Tommy, and now that his brother was with Gerri things had gotten a little better, happier for the family. She was a good addition – kind and spunky. She was good for his brother, and he was happy for them.

But the day he’d met you – it had made a savage claw of want gouge through his entrails. He’d not remembered the last time he’d wanted something the way he did when he watched you walk out into the backyard long hair shimmering in the sun, and a nervous flush sweeping over the apples of your cheeks. And even if he’d been unattached, free to pursue you like he liked to dream about sometimes, you were so young – much too young and pretty for an old, washed up, has-been like him. But he could imagine it, like he’d said, only when he was feeling particularly strong. Or maybe particularly weak. He couldn’t keep track of which was safer anymore. When the years and work and responsibilities and grief and loneliness surged up too high and overwhelming for him to bear, he liked to think of you in that little yellow sundress. Wonder what it’d be like to be a younger man, to have met you first. A bad, selfish, terrible thought to have. But just in the quiet privacy of his mind, when he needed a small something to make him feel just a little better – he liked to think of you.

The only other time he’d seen you, once when Tommy’d had to drop something for Gerri at the college, he’d insisted on tagging along. Hoping he’d maybe be lucky enough to get a glimpse of you, and oh, he’d been so, so rewarded. You’d been carrying a stack of supplies from your car into the building, one of those spiky things women wore twisted in your hair to keep it up, wisps of your long, heavy locks escaping the knot, and a little, red, spaghetti strapped top. The thin of it on your shoulder had slipped off the delicate wing of your clavicle as you balanced everything you’d carried in your arms and tried to kick your car door closed at the same time. It’d taken everything in him, all the self control he possessed, not to sprint over to you and offer to help you, to fall to his knees at your feet. You’d blown a strand of your hair out of your face, the cutest expression of frustration scrunching your brow. His gut had twisted almost painfully with yearning. He hadn’t even known he was capable of fucking yearning, but he sure as hell did now. He felt it sharply, piercingly, like a knife to the gut. He’d met you once for Christ’s sake, seen you in person only twice, but you plagued him, you plagued him.

He knew it was probably partially a symptom of how alone he was. Lonely to his very core. His marriage had never been a real one, no closeness, no intimacy. A byproduct born of one drunken night, and Joel’s need to do the right thing, give his child a stable home with two parents and all the love he could give her. And Sarah, Sarah was the greatest gift that he’d ever been given. This perfect little person that he still, three years later, could not believe had come from a piece of him.

He’d told Eva that he’d do whatever she wanted, would accept whatever she’d chosen when she’d first realized she was pregnant. She’d refused the alternative route vehemently, and so he’d never suggested it again. If he was being honest, he’d been happy when he’d found out, in some small way. The situation wasn’t ideal, of course, they’d been veritable strangers at that point, but he’d been thirty seven, at the time, and he liked the idea of children. Eva was attractive and intelligent. He’d proposed immediately, gone out and gotten a ring and gotten down on one knee. He’d naively thought that perhaps, eventually, with time, they might grow closer. That idea was squashed quickly. She’d made it clear that she’d never wanted to marry him, but she also didn’t want to go at it alone, knew he was responsible and reliable, and so she’d accepted. And perhaps, he should have tried harder to win her over afterwards, but if he was being as honest as he could be, he wasn’t very interested either, didn’t really mind the lack of intimacy with her. They just weren’t a good match.

She’d left a few months after she’d given birth. Ran off with some guy she’d met – only a note left saying she couldn’t do it anymore. He hadn’t tried to go after her, hadn’t tried to bring her back or look for her. A better man probably would have, would have fought for his wife, for the mother of his child. But he’d never loved her, not even close, and so he’d taken care of his baby girl, had tried to be everything she needed and worked as hard as he could so that she’d never want for anything. Eva had come back after about a year and a half – her affair had run its course, and she’d said she wanted to try again with Sarah, that she’d made a mistake, wanted to be part of her daughter’s life. Of course he’d let her come back. He wanted Sarah to have a mother that was present, to have everything a child should have. And afterall, it was no hardship for him personally. She didn’t want a relationship with him, only Sarah. And so they’d settled into this strange agreement of co-parents slash roommates who just happened to be married. Eva liked to keep pretenses up, so they did the occasional family thing together. Especially now that Tommy was with Gerri, she liked to pretend at the double date thing, occasionally. Even though Eva couldn’t stand the poor girl. It was a pieced together sort of life, but it was better than what some had, and Sarah had her mother. He couldn’t complain.

But he did like to imagine a sort of alternative sometimes – something different, less lonely. He could tell she was going to leave again soon, more unsatisfied and frustrated and restless than ever. He couldn’t even find it in himself to resent her for it, it only hurt him for Sarah’s sake, for he didn’t think she’d be coming back this time.

It hadn’t been such a bad idea to come after all, you think, as you lounge on the dock by the lake. The sun is strong but not burning – warm and soothing. It feels like there are ghost fingers stroking all along the bare skin of your arms and legs. Gerri had made a pitcher of sangria and you were slightly tipsy off it now. A light weight, through and through.

The house they’d rented was gorgeous. All exposed wood and big glass windows right on the lakefront. Gerri’s sister was a doctor – a spine surgeon or something really fancy. She’d rented the house and invited all of you – no chance for Joel’s wife to be pissed off that you’d tagged along.

There were large boxes of the loveliest white hydrangeas along one side of the dock. The sweet scent of them drifting around you as you lounged on the chair you’d planted yourself in with your sangria. Yes, this was a good idea. You’d managed to evade Joel and his wife in the hours you’d been here. Gerri and Tommy were great as always and her sister and her partner were so nice. You’d talked about the pottery class, she wanted to pick up a new hobby, trying out the whole work-life-balance thing, and she’d thought pottery’d be a good fit for her. She was planning on signing up for the next semester.

You’re slightly dozing now. The warm sun and sweet alcohol making you languorous and drowsy and all fizzy on the inside. You think you might be able to hear the breeze sliding through each individual blade of grass on the bank, whistling over the surface of the water, and you can’t stop picturing his arms in your mind, but you’re pretending to ignore that, or pretending the bulging, mouth-watering muscles, prominent veins running under the surface of his tan skin, dusted with a light coating of golden brown hair belonged to someone who was not him. He has the largest hands you’ve ever seen, and you wonder what one of them wrapped around your throat would feel like. Bad, inappropriate thoughts.

You have one arm slung above your head, resting at the crown of your scalp to partially shield the sensitive skin there from the strong sun when you feel a sudden piercing pain, right to the center of your palm. You shriek, jolting violently, glass of sangria falling and shattering on the deck and stumbling up out of your chair, sending it flying back topside. A wasp buzzes menacingly around you, and you shriek again, cracked and painful. The thing had stung you right in the center of your tender palm. You hear the quick paced steps of someone approaching, too distracted trying to evade the horrible thing when you hear Joel’s voice. “Stay still, it’s okay. I’ll get it.”

Your hand really, really hurts. You stop your swatting and feel the back of your eyes pinch, hot tears pooling in the corners. Not only is the sting incredibly painful, but you really hate bees, wasps, all the ugly mean things that buzz and sting. You can feel the slight tremble of your frame begin to take over as you try to patiently wait for him to get rid of it.

He comes closer, “It’s okay, he’s gone. Did it get you? C’mere, lemme see.”

You clutch the injured hand to your chest, try and scoot away from him shaking your head, but you get too near to the edge, and his hand shoots out to cup your elbow, other hand coming to circle your waist and turn you so you’re standing in the center, and he’s closer to the edge.

“No, no, it’s okay. It got you, lemme see it–” he gently circles his big rough palm on the thin of your wrist, and now you’re really shaking.

“It’s o–okay,” you hitch, you feel a tear slide down your cheek. Fucking embarrassing. “I’m okay, really. It’s nothing.” You try and pull your limb out of his grasp, but he pulls you closer. He says your name then, not necessarily sharply, but in the way of a rubber band snapping against your skin, a slightly jarring crack followed by a tingle, something that reverberates through your entire body.

Then gentle: “Just come here,” and coaxing. How could anyone ever say no to a voice like that. So deep, so patient. “Lemme see, it’s okay. No, don’t be scared. Lemme see, open your hand for me, sweetheart. I’ll be gentle, it’s okay,” his soothing voice over and over. Coaxing you into capitulation, into following his orders. He smooths his rough thumb gently, gently over the sides of your palm, coaxing your fingers to uncurl and let him see the hurt. “Oh, it’s alright. None of that trembling, sweet girl.” And then he brings your hand up to his hot, wet mouth and presses his lips to the wound, gently sucking. You can feel the wet of his tongue pass over it once, slowly sucking the venom out of your palm. You feel everything below your belly button go hot and liquid at the feel of his tongue on your skin. Oh, God, you want to feel that mouth everywhere, between your legs.

You think you let a jagged whimper claw its way out your throat, for his eyes flit to yours, a flash of heat igniting them. He pulls his mouth away, turns to spit, thumb gently brushing over the tender inside of your wrist. He says your name so softly. “That’s better. You’re okay. No tears.”

His large hands completely engulf yours. His fingers are thick and long, his nails clipped short and neat. Beautiful, masculine hands. Working hands. He doesn’t wear a ring. “We can get a clove of garlic on this,” he’s still cradling your limb, “Heard that’s good for stings.”

This is bad, bad, bad, bad. Not part of your plan to stay away from him at all. He’s staring at your cradled hand, his gaze trained on the way his own palm dwarfs yours. You feel his touch tighten for just a second, he brings his eyes back to yours, and you watch as a swallow passes through the strong column of his throat.

He called you sweetheart.

There are so many reasons why you know he’s dangerous to you, why you should stay away from him: his kindness, how competent he is — the way it seems like, no matter what in life could ever present itself to him, he’d be able to take it in, take care of it, fix it. He could handle anything. How fucking gorgeous he is, his hands, his face, his body, the dark curls, the slightest hint of silver threads beginning to appear through them, the deep dark eyes, but most of all, more than any other reason, the way he says your name — like the worst thing you’ve ever heard in your entire life, and also the loveliest. So soft and deep and soothing. A voice that could get a person to do anything, capitulate to anything, commit any crime.

And what was it about wanting something you should not want, could never have, that made you want it all the more? Rebellion of the highest order calls your name.

“Thank you,” you say quietly. He still has you clutched in his grasp, is staring at you almost in shock. You try to pull away and his grip tightens for one second, like he can’t bear the thought of letting you go, and then releases you, lets you pull your injured hand back into your chest.

“Alright?”

And you’re so disoriented by him, by his touch that you instinctively reply: “Yes. Are you?”

He looks confused for a second, shakes his head a little and then laughs, “Yeah – yeah, I’m okay, sweetheart.” He shouldn’t be calling you that, but it sounds so lovely coming out of his mouth. You’ll tell him to stop next time. It’s okay. Next time he says it you’ll tell him not to call you that anymore. Embarrassment burns your cheeks.

You shake your head, “Sorry, I–”

“It’s alright. No need to apologize. Let’s get you inside. Get somethin’ on that hand.”

You take a step back from him, and he matches it with one step of his own forward, like he isn’t planning on letting you run away. It makes the speed of your heart kick up a notch, a hummingbird fluttering within the confines of your chest. “No, really, it’s okay. I’ll ice it or something. I’m fine, honestly. Thank you for– for your help.” You feel like you’re blinking a hundred times a minute, the sun suddenly scorching, when just a moment ago it had been soft and warm.

You need to get away from him.

“Rubbin’ a garlic clove on it’s good for stings. There’s some in the kitchen, I’ll get it for you.” He reaches a hand out as if to take hold of you again, and you take two more steps away. This time he does not follow, you see the muscle of his jaw flutter.

“Really, Joel. It’s okay.” You feel like you’ve said these words to him before, like all your short acquaintanceship has consisted of, is you apologizing and running away, bowing out before it gets too scary or complicated or threatening. He probably thinks you’re an idiot. “Th– thank you for your help. I’m just gonna –” you hitch your thumb back towards the house, “I’m just going to go back inside. Sorry.”

He only nods, frozen on the dock as you walk away from him.

Chapter .2

Netherfeildren Masterlist

#someone's fic #joel miller #the last of us #joel miller the last of us #joel miller x you #joel miller x reader #joel miller/reader #joel miller/you #joel miller imagine #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller fic #joel miller angst #the last of us fanfiction #the last of us fic #pedro pascal characters #pedro pascal #pedro pascal fanfiction

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