You need an adult. - I am an adult!
Danny in human age is an adult. He was a 24 years old adult that only recently started working in the Arospace Department of Wayne Enterprise. Human wise he was by all means an adult, with the paper trail to support it.
The only problem was. His ghost form.
Despite his human side having aged just fine and giving him a fine, build like a Brickhouse, body that came close to Dan's hulking ghost form. His ghost side was still stuck on looking like his fourteen years old self, small and build like a twig. Pandora, Frostbite and Clockwork had tried teaching him how to manipulate his own ectoplasm so he can finally adjust his ghost looks. But so far... that was a skill he has yet to master successfully.
Now, usually, that wouldn't be a problem. But considering he only recently found out two of his bosses also worked with the Justice League who happened to know him as Phantom, it spelled problems.
Because the Justice League was convinced he was a forever 14 years old dead ghost hero who is using one of his many powers to appear like a human adult. He only went human on them like twice for undercover missions. He saw no problem in them knowing about his human half. Ancients all his rogues and the entirety of the Infinite Realms knew of it already anyway.
But you make one to many jokes about deadly situations or act just a bit to childish one to many times with them and you are seen as child forever! Go figure why Danny had so many problems with authority figures is whole life.
They were the once thinking his human half was just another power! He never said it was!
And now here he was, sitting in the office of one of his bosses. Faced with the two of them trying to clear up the misunderstanding of a decade. Ancients they are convinced his paper trail is fake just because Phantom had Tucker on his team. A team that had already established their talents years ago, when they worked with the JL for the first time.
Wait.... why was Bruce Wayne pulling out adoption papers?
I dont need an adult! I am an adult!
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Jazz is wandering Gotham with Danny after their parents visited the city for a convention but left them behind in the excitement of one of their ghost traps going off on the other side of the country.
The hotel they were staying at kicked them out not caring if they had a place to stay or not, only caring that the source of money had left.
Jazz couldn't show how scared she actually was, not when Danny was looking at her with complete faith that she could somehow fix this.
How he managed to keep that faith after a day of jumping at shadows like they held enemies and vending machine food for lunch was a mystery.
She's tired, she's stressed, and she needs an adult.
Like an actual adult and not her much loved but very scatterbrained parents, Vlad did not count either.
Nightwing: *falls from great heights into nearby dumpster* ...ow.
Jazz: ...You'll do.
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you're grabbing lunch with a nice man and he gives you that strange grimace-smile that's popular right now; an almost sardonic "twist" of his mouth while he looks literally down on you. it looks like he practiced the move as he leans back, arms folded. he just finished reciting the details of NFTs to you and explaining Oppenheimer even though he only watched a youtube about it and hasn't actually seen it. you are at the bottom of your wine glass.
you ask the man across from you if he has siblings, desperately looking for a topic. literally anything else.
he says i don't like small talk. and then he smiles again, watching you.
a few years ago, you probably would have said you're above celebrity gossip, but honestly, you've been kind of enjoying the dumb shit of it these days. with the rest of the earth burning, there's something familiar and banal about dragging ariana grande through the mud. you think about jeanette mccurdy, who has often times gently warned the world she's not as nice as she appears. you liked i'm glad my mom died but it made you cry a lot.
he doesn't like small talk, figure out something to say.
you want to talk about responsibility, and how ariana grande is only like 6 days older than you are - which means she just turned 30 and still dresses and acts like a 13 year old, but like sexy. there's something in there about the whole thing - about insecurity, and never growing up, and being sexualized from a young age.
people have been saying that gay people are groomers. like, that's something that's come back into the public. you have even said yourself that it's just ... easier to date men sometimes. you would identify as whatever the opposite of "heteroflexible" is, but here you are again, across from a man. you like every woman, and 3 people on tv. and not this guy. but you're trying. your mother is worried about you. she thinks it's not okay you're single. and honestly this guy was better before you met, back when you were just texting.
wait, shit. are you doing the same thing as ariana grande? are you looking for male validation in order to appease some internalized promise of heteronormativity? do you conform to the idea that your happiness must result in heterosexuality? do you believe that you can resolve your internal loneliness by being accepted into the patriarchy? is there a reason dating men is easier? why are you so scared of fucking it up with women? why don't you reach out to more of them? you have a good sense of humor and a big ol' brain, you could have done a better job at online dating.
also. jesus christ. why can't you just get a drink with somebody without your internal feminism meter pinging. although - in your favor (and judgement aside) in the case of your ariana grande deposition: you have been in enough therapy you probably wouldn't date anyone who had just broken up with their wife of many years (and who has a young child). you'd be like - maybe take some personal time before you begin this journey. like, grande has been on broadway, you'd think she would have heard of the plot of hamlet.
he leans forward and taps two fingers to the table. "i'm not, like an andrew tate guy," he's saying, "but i do think partnership is about two people knowing their place. i like order."
you knew it was going to be hard. being non-straight in any particular way is like, always hard. these days you kind of like answering the question what's your sexuality? with a shrug and a smile - it's fine - is your most common response. like they asked you how your life is going and not to reveal your identity. you like not being straight. you like kissing girls. some days you know you're into men, and sometimes you're sitting across from a man, and you're thinking about the power of compulsory heterosexuality. are you into men, or are you just into the safety that comes from being seen with them? after all, everyone knows you're failing in life unless you have a husband. it almost feels like a gradebook - people see "straight married" as being "all A's", and anything else even vaguely noncompliant as being ... like you dropped out of the school system. you cannot just ignore years of that kind of conditioning, of course you like attention from men.
"so let's talk boundaries." he orders more wine for you, gesturing with one hand like he's rousing an orchestra. sir, this is a fucking chain restaurant. "I am not gonna date someone who still has male friends. also, i don't care about your little friends, i care about me. whatever stupid girls night things - those are lower priority. if i want you there, you're there."
he wasn't like this over text, right? you wouldn't have been even in the building if he was like this. you squint at him. in another version of yourself, you'd be running. you'd just get up and go. that's what happens on the internet - people get annoyed, and they just leave. you are locked in place, almost frozen. you need to go to the bathroom and text someone to call you so you have an excuse, like it's rude to just-leave. like he already kind of owns you. rudeness implies a power paradigm, though. see, even your social anxiety allows the patriarchy to get to you.
you take a sip of the new glass of wine. maybe this will be a funny story. maybe you can write about it on your blog. maybe you can meet ariana grande and ask her if she just maybe needs to take some time to sit and think about her happiness and how she measures her own success.
is this settling down? is this all that's left in your dating pool? just accepting that someone will eventually love you, and you have to stop being picky about who "makes" you a wife?
you look down to your hand, clutching the knife.
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Man, I want shapeshifter cap SO BAD.
I want to see a Billy that really leans into the wonder of the world, the million paths a child could take in their life.
I want to see a Billy that wants to try everything, at least once.
A Billy that looks at all the people who spit at him, deride him, pity him, dismiss him, ignore him, because he has no future, no prospects, a child in the gutter and say no. I'm going to grow up to be whoever I want to be.
And a captain marvel that says you're going to be amazing.
Billy taking the premise of captain marvels form - his ideal self, a blank slate for Billy to paint his bright colours, the person he wants to be deep inside - and dialling that freedom up to eleven.
A dancer, a dinosaur, a train conductor, a tiger, an ice cream maker, a butterfly, an astronaut, a shark, a college student, a Tamaranean, a mouse, a scuba diver, an elephant, a doctor, a moose, a race car driver, a dog.
A child wanting to see the world.
If you want to find captain marvel, well first you've got to try his comm, probably a couple times.
Then you've got to go to fawcett, hope he's there and not saving the yetis from a salamander invasion in a different dimension.
You've got to ask around, because it often goes by word of mouth here, no matter what technology you bring. Don't worry, it'll spread very quickly, but if you're in a hurry you can find his commemorative statue and leave an offering. No one knows if it really works, but it's a good way to pass the time and feel productive.
Soon, a face will peel out of the crowd. It's always familiar, but it's never the same one.
Wait for the flash of lightning in a cloudless sky.
And then you will find captain marvel.
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