#they r so intense i literally-

[clockwork-carstairs]

CC really had Julian saying “I love you either way. I love you if we never touch” then think about how Emma was both his universe and the blade pressed against his heart and expected me to be fine afterwards

#blackstairs #ruined love for me #jemma #like really cassandra #thanks #im NOT fine #julian blackthorn #emma carstairs #tda #the dark artifices #lady midnight #lord of shadows #tsc #julian x emma #they r so intense i literally-

[glassamphibians]

why do straight women take photos together like they r each other’s date to the junior prom

#i follow ppl from high school for science and the sorority girls literally always look like #theyre about to peck each other on the lips in front of their boyfriends or r in Thee most awkward poses w/ each other #this is bitchy im aware #but sometimes i am just extremely aware of how like. theres this whole other gender thing happening #like i am so far removed from whatever the fuck these guys r up to #like its just so wild how many people Do Gender soo intensely and specifically and dont even think abt it theyre just doing it #googles where to buy binders

[adhdandcomics]

is anyone else still really really Weird about the hyperfixations they picked up in 2020 quarantine?

#like. REALLY intense abt it #like ok let me explain actually #saiki k was my comfort show and a big hyperfixation during quarantine #and i have not been able to show any of my friends this show besude the one that was in the trenches w me for two (2) YEARS #bc i got such bad preemptive RSD about them not liking it for some reason i literally anxiety panicked myself out of sharing it #genuinely had the same feeling wanting to share this show w my friends as i would sharing soemthing like my personal poetry. like that level #of weird #i am only now rewatching it right #i started a few days ago and genuinely dyed my hair pink again the next day #something something my emotions are too big abt it to make even good fan content rn #also been having lots of anxiety in general recently so sure thats not helping #but anyway. weird big feelings. possessive instincts. too big emotions. #like that toastyglow comic abt the big emotions #i gotta find it in a bit #oh and like animal crossing is on the complete other side of the spectrum #literally played it Every Single Day that year n havent been able to play it in almost 2 years now #just bc. idk??? #anyway feel free to share ur feelings if you relate but if u are like ‘ #‘cecil what the fuck r u talking about thats genuinely concerning’ well. mind ur business. #adhd #hyperfixation #quarantine #actually adhd #and also tma which i had both before and after quarantine but tma was a VERYYYYYY intense time in my life. i have so many fucking animations #like very much causing MANY events in my life also being completely consumed by it ect ect. #will never be normal abt that podcadt ive accepted that anyway

[enchanting-grom-fright]

my mom was trying to talk to me and randomly got so upset and she was like ‘why do u never look at me i guess u just don’t care about me what happened to you this is why i can’t trust u’ and i was just like ………… i.. what ????? literally what and i was like ‘i don’t look at anyone when i talk’ and she’s like ‘um actually i have seen u make eye contact!’ like no shit obviously i have that doesn’t mean its what i naturally do and i’m like ‘yea, of course, but only because someone wants me to, not because i can do it consistently’ and then she’s like ‘well u haven’t always been this way do i need to send u back to therapy bcs if u keep this up i will’ and i’m just like in my head.. u literally know.. that i am autistic… what…. u had to talk about how i was like when i was younger when i was getting diagnosed….. i was there… i know for a fact that u do not believe this why r u upset huh (this was not something i said out loud though bcs she is extremely weird abt this and she’d definitely get angrier if i did and i am not one to fight with her so ) i was like ‘idk what ur talking abt’ and then she just started lecturing me on other stuff soooo anyways im still like ?????????????????? what ??????????

#i’m not even really upset i’m just so confused i #i’ve literally had people point out how i don’t make eye contact so many times #(help like a few weeks ago the person i used to sit next to in geography class was like “it’s so funny watching u avoid making eye contact” #and i haven’t been able to start a conversation with her since like it has been weeks but i can’t bring myself to i get too nervous) #anyways like eye contact i make very rarely because like physically it genuinely feels almost like having a panic attack #and i like can’t hear anything they say bcs i’m just thinking abt forcing maintaining eye contact despite how deeply uncomfortable it is #like just fucking kill me now before i do because even if it’s like a prerecorded clip iii. can’t even explain it it’s just. ewewew #(the exceptions r if it’s like not eye contact for like the casual sake of eye contact.. i can i make it intensely as a joke or #i can make it briefly to exchange looks with my friend yk) #so like if i’m talking to u multiple times i just cannot #i will look at u and ur face and stuff just not while ur looking at me bcs yea #anyways that’s my rant

[emiliosandozsequence]

as much as it pains me (a massive space nerd) to fucking say....i think we should Not continue with space exploration until we a) get billionaires out of it and b) this fucking country isn't being held together by only fascism and prayers

#literally the state of the country rn feels like when i worked at toys r us Right before everyone started leaving #bc the work environment had gotten so bad; which is fucking terrifying actually lmao #i felt this way before the last trump election too but nowhere near as intensely so hopefully i'm wrong. please let me be wrong. #emilio.txt

[fallenfawnn]

..

#been debatin changin my pronouns in my bio to she/they for months now bc like um.. brain realizations n stuffff #but for some reason i get such intense imposter syndrome about it :( #like.. nnnn idk how to talk about it without goin into more details than i maybe want to #but but like.. sometimes i am very she/her feeling n then sometimes i am vibing with they/them #and those r probably the most common headspaces but #and then other times literally any pronoun sounds fine #and then sometimes she/her n being called a girl feels actively :( #n then other rare times m like uh.. ya.. m a good boy mhmm mhmm #but it’s not like it’s all of these all at once all the time #so how do u even like list pronouns when it feels so dependent on headspace :( #so i have kept she/her bc it’s like.. the ‘majority rules’ answer ? lmao #but idkkkk

[elytrafemme]

feeling very grateful for my mother and therapist who find it in their hearts to tell me every single time i mention therapy that i should "consider doing every other week" while denying that it's strictly a time/money incentive for them because i will always explain very clearly that i cannot do anything other than weekly and they'll go okay i get it and then next week ask me again. Like hearing this from my mom, whatever, she doesn't know my issues. hearing it from my fucking therapist, though?

#neg #we've established that i sometimes spontaneously want to kill myself sarah what do you think is going to happen #suicide tw #sorry. but like they're doing this shit AGAIN. #because i canceled under 24 hr advance she is charging a fee and she wrote me an odyssey of a text message like #do you want to go every other week also this helps us not breed resentment - r u fucking joking #and FINALLY my mom FINALLY told me that it's because of money that i should start canceling appts i dont need #but like. for ages she just refused to mention this to me so it was like Okay. well stop telling me to cancel for no reason then #like literally for the first three years of my therapy journey it was every other week but they'd cancel so it'd be #an hour once a month and it was absolutely horrible #so i'm not sure why everyone wants me to stop going to therapy now #just because i have friends and i'm generally happy doesn't mean that i don't have intense breakdowns jesus christ #whatever. no therapy today she can fucking rot #Time to work on an essay ^_^

[gabiioartist]

ready or not is a horror masterpiece.

#ready or not #literally like. top 3 horror movie of all time #I think the combination of the very intense dramatic and thrilling aspects combined with the inherent goofiness of the LeDomas #makes it so good #besides. Their goofiness contrasted with her pain and misery is. A good metaphor for sure #fuck the rich. fuck them rich kids. hail satan. etc. #ALSO THE COLOR CORRECTION IS E V E R Y T H I N G . I love color and this movie is definitely the most creative use of color I've see #thoughts

[sweetsweetbumblebee]

this crush shit is EMBARRASSINGGGGGG

#sfw #🍯 #my shark #we r literally already dating #what the fuck #but he sends me a message n i go all heart eyes #ALSO 2day i sent a short video of me playing w my friends dog 2 show her off n our friend went 'honey youre so fucking cute' #i believe they described our relationship as 'friends but really intense about it' #which basically means were rlly gay in a platonic way #bc theyre aroace n im truly chill w whatever #so they call me cute n say ily n go MWAH at me but historians will say we were just friends

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#i was supposed to spend the last 2 days prepping and relaxing for the start of this big project tomorrow #but ive spent thr last 2 days frantically coding as fast as i could and focusing v hard to get a lot of bullshit done #and ive fixed things since yesterday. the changes i had to make were too too bad bc the thing that went wrong was so fucking weird #but it should be okay by tomorrow. knock on wood. but this does mean ive done fuck all to prep for tomorrow #so we r winging it bby. ugh. just gotta fucking pray that everything goes ok. pls let nothing b broken and let everything seal properly 🙏 #i was also supposed to meet with my boss today. probably for her to make sure i dont fuck up this project but apparently their safety hood #was having an emergency... whatever that means. so im sure shes having a week as well. and im free to fuck everything up for everyone #ugh. im so. theres a certain point in burning out where youre not really in pain anymore. you dont really feel anything all your joy and #hope dissolves away and u just exist to be useful. and i feel like its easier to maintain that than trying to b happy #i do not advise that bc its a fucking miserable. wasteful way to live but i dont really have time to try for anything better #god. i really hope my measurements friday dont take a full 8hrs. i dont know if i can handle that. literally i would have stay intensely #focused with my brain being Interrupted every 5min so i can manually record data points. its gonna b agony #so that fun. but maybe it wont. maybe itll be great and fun and ill have a wonderful time. seems unlikely but ya never kno #lets not think abt the fact that having to rush all this is preventing me from being able to do all thr other bullshit i need to get done #to prepare for the future. future? what future? hard to imagine from the bottom of this pit im digging myself #sigh. in a few months i can leave this place and never come back. soon but not soon enough #lol i was literally crying listening to cold play earlier bc idk thats the type of music my parents would put on at parties in summertime #so it evokes a v specific mood. which is i guess me hiding away from ppl at parties haha #back when i didnt have to worry abt things so much and i could just listen to the frogs chirping and watch the fireflies #oh god. now my boss is asking if i reached out for help tomorrow. no. lady i would rather drink bleach than have to direct an undergrad #tomorrow. its 10pm im fucking tired. just let me be sad. did i reach our for help? no my brain is on fire #tomorrow is gonna b a long day ugh #unrelated

[sarcasmic-skies]

literally what the FUCK!!!! is going on w my insomnia recently. like it’s always been bad but it hasn’t been this bad this often in a long time. as of this moment, saturday, 4:24 am cst, i’ve been awake for 44.5 hours straight & counting. the week before last i was up for 71 consecutive hours. when i finally fell asleep after running on 90 min of sleep for those 3 fuckin days, i woke up three hrs later!! what the FUCK!!!! chronic insomnia can suck my dick and balls and thank me for it i am so over it. and YES i see the fucking irony that it rears its ugly head after i read/annotated fight club over n over for 10 hrs straight on thurs. it’ll be very haha laugh funny once my body knocks this shit off. fuckin hell. (i will update)

#ive had chronic insomnia since i was a kid but that doesnt make it easier to deal with lol #like. i just lie in bed with the lights off no music no sounds close my eyes n try to sleep #no distractions no NOTHIN #and i cross my fingers i fuckin fall asleep before i collapse and die lol #this is why when i read fight club for the first time 10 yrs ago #it was validating to hear abt someone else dealing w it so i was like ‘im literally the narrator’ #bc insomnia is literal hell at times it’s not fun cooky quirky it’s debilitating! #where’s a testicular cancer support group when u need one 😵‍💫 #and i didnt see the fight club movie until like. a year after i read the book LMAO #and before anyone replies like ‘thats rly serious’ or ‘have u tried ____?’ i know! and i prob have #like no this is not normal people behavior but this is my normal behavior it’s just more intense rn lol #i have a tendency to stay awake thru sleep medications lmao #ok disclaimers r done! whew #ty posts!!!!!! #ty posts

[sanstropfremir]

do you think newjeans is an sm group (or could very much be one)? i remember when they debut, a lot of the reaction was of that. which is only normal considering newjeans' ceo was a large factor as to why sm is sm.

people point out the members' visuals as sm but hybe is relatively a new company so what holds as their standard is hard to define for now. (taeyeon/irene + kangta/jaejoong/s*won as clear examples of an "SM face"). also, i sometimes forget that some groups are under hybe because there are so fu-cking many now and they're going to debut like 4/5 new groups next year. it literally does not make any sense to me.

other than that, i don't really feel like newjeans gives off an sm vibe? i feel like it has a lot to do with the training system and what each company emphasizes on. it seems that newsjeans is gonna be more dance-focused like all of the other hybe groups. sm groups usually have a distinct vocal color - despite being under the same company, each group holds their own.

slkdjflskdfjslkdfj they are NOTHING like an sm group. like you said, sm has very specific branding in terms music, sound, and visuals, and also in HOW they construct their groups as well. i said it in ask a long time ago, but sm is the only company where i can say that they have a distinctive methodology of how they assemble a group and who has what positions/fills specific archetypes. although a lot of their artists are what would be considered 'all rounders,' sm groups have very specific positions that artists are meant to fill according to how they are assigned and there isn't a lot of deviation from that in group context. there's very little confusion as to who the main vocalists/dancers/centers are. hybe has more of a.............egalitarian approach (well, that's what it translates to, i don't think that's what they intend) where they expect everyone to have an equal level of performance skill and bill groups as being 'performance' oriented, but then they don't have anyone else in a strongly defined other role. like how do you have an obvious main dancer when your whole group can sort of all pass as main dancers? how do you tell who the main vocalist is if you don't have any strong vocalists taking the bulk of the lines and exercising their park n bark privilege? i couldn't tell you what the position of any of the girls in newjeans is unless i looked it up, but i could immediately tell with aespa.

the only thing they have in common is that they have a similar approach to aesthetic branding, and that's literally bc it's the same person doing both.

#kpop questions #newjeans w #i know there are a lot of kpop fans out there but sometimes y'all come at me with 'things ppl have said' that i've never heard before #and it makes me go 'hm i guess i have curated my kpop based social media feeds very well' #feels like im peering over the fence of my garden like where tf r u guys hearing these things lskdjflksdjflsd #not to bang on about the importance of positions in kpop again but theyre SO important #they give you a baseline to establish about the idol without actually having to KNOW anything about them #the formula works! there was a reason every second gen group was shaped like that! #there def are still non sm groups that are formed based on old school positioning but not as many. like tan for sure #bc theyre literally just a second gen group in a fourth gen trenchcoat #and like. p1harmony? i barely know anything about them but i can tell what everyone is #oneus has a rep for being a performance group but they have clear positions still #even with a.c.e who's also a performance group its still super clear who does what #part of the problem is choreography also! 4th gen choreo is too intense now! #and it often doesnt 'feature' a main dancer in the same way that it used to #the vocal colour of sm groups comes from yoo youngjin! he's their original vocal trainer and he's probably sm's oldest employee lol #and a lot of the 'typical' sm songs were produced by him #most other companies don't have as distinctive of a vocal presence bc they just havent had the time to establish it #also important to remember that hybe has bought out a bunch of preexisting groups and there's no way to maintain consistency that way #text #answers

[padfootastic]

being greedy but i'm interested in your answers for 6, 16, and 18 for the ask game <3

hello sharmz 💜💜 thank u sm!! (for kickstarting this, i was so worried it’d go ignored lol 💀)

6. Do you have pets?

sadly no :(( always wanted one (i used to be obsessed w dogs earlier but covid,,,did something,,,and now i’m just tolerant of any and all creatures but not especially passionate about one) but my dad has a Thing about ‘caging’ animals in the house and never really liked it. my grandma did have a german shepherd when i was young and i grew up alongside her and have the fondest memories w her tho!!! she was the absolute best <33

16. Do you have any tattoos? If not, would like to?

this is another sad no 😔😔 for all my piercings, tattoos are still a bit of a no-go in ~desi households and i’ve been trying to convince my mom for *so long* my god. i want to get a whole sleeve on at least one hand, including an arm band on my forearm (so hot?? for no reason??) and just. idk. fill my body up with a lot of doodles and shapes hehe

18. Do you like reading? If yes what's your favourite book?

absolutely obsessed w it. i go through phases where i’m either in reading slumps or going thru 30+ books a month easy. for the past couple years, i’ve only been able to stomach super chill romcoms because escapism is the name of the game 😎 don’t really have fav books,,,,but a few of the ones i loved recently are:

- Talia Hobbert’s Brown Sisters series (esp the second one!!)

- Joely Sue Burkhart’s Their Vampire Queen Series (basically just sex and blood and vampires; it’s a polyam series of like. 7? books and i love each and every one of them <3)

Get To Know Me!!

#i am. a Whole Adult and yet i’ve gotta get permission for tats lol #been thinking of getting one in a sneaky place for years now but dang it my parents r too good for me to bald faced lie for he #lie to them* #😭😭 #my reading has been super uhhh undignified lately #but boy has it been *fun* #everytime i think i wanna read like. a classic or something- #my mind just goes to these things lol #i wrote a college application for this fancy course recently #and it had this section of ‘books that had most impact on u’ #and when i tell u my mind fully blanked out??? #ultimately. on no. 3 i wrote a literal mafia romance with a near-sociopath MMC and a little adulteress FMC 😭 #in my defence it was one of the most intense and well written mafia romances i’d read in a while. possibly ever. #but still lol #so that’s really where i’m at 💀 #pen’s asks #ask game

[girlslashers]

Uwaaaah why is my memory so baaaaad OTL

#complain-y type tags srry -> #it always aver I get like. intensely focused too #ever* #like I went a bit bonkers and decided ok We Are Cleaning the house And Redecorating and the second I sat down to hang out it gets fuzzy #it’s like the second I decide I can relax or whatever my brains like Ok! don’t need that! #bestie we r going to get a bad grade in being a good friend #something that is normal to be afraid of and possible to achieve #gah. gah. #I got so tired I was Wired too so I had a lotta energy but. Couldn’t word things for the life of me #and this was w multiple ppl too.. it just felt frustrating Wanting to talk but 1) misspelling things cuz I was literally falling eepy #2) not being able to even explain the point I was making and #3) retaining only bits and pieces of the experience #like !!!! I don’t like not remembering things it just feels eugh #overwhelmed + understimulated + tired = the worst conversationalist of all time (it’s me) #that got v ranty aaa #uhh if uve read this far hi ily ok? pls be patient I have autism #meowdy! #negative

[caruliaa]

deciding if i want my text post about my father for today becuase too many would be whiny to be about how i get very terrifed anytime he raises his voice and thats prob not normal (which i already knew but yk) or a snarky "how come my dads on discord i though that site just pushed and agenda and tricked people into thinking theyre gay? that why i wasnt allowed it right?"

#see i was writing this post from the perspective that the first one was very concering and the second one is funny. #but yk i j realized to people that arent me theyre both concerning. ok. #my immediate response to seeing my dad on discord btw was to leave the official acnh server j bc thats like the most official server im in #and i got Scared. which is dub bc my dad doesnt play acnh why wld he use that server. but i Got Scared. #also ill tell u like the story of this first one which is that like. basically my sibling connected their phone to the internet at school #to reasearch smth and when they did they got a message from our mother abt watching a movie which was prob from sunday bc #apparently my mum was watching die hard then nd they joined for a bit idk but the fact that they got it now meant they kept being like #'thats weird do you guys think my phone is haunted i tihnk it might be' not entirely seriously #i also very like casually kept being like @na its probalby just a glitch those happen' #nd at some point i was very lightly like 'yk i dont think getting into the who thing of if ghosts exist is worth it when u cld just ask abt #the text message later' and rthe thing is fucking !!! my dad was literally agreeing with me !! but like he also seem somewhat actually like #upset and mad over my sibling saying their phone was haunted or at lest he was raising his voice and like seem mad to me #(i think he thought they were bieng fully serious abt the phone being haunted. nd that tht Not True bc it doesnt align w our religous #beliefs. but also idk if he brought up religon at all) #but the thing is my sibling was literally fine but like. auugh i got scared and freaked out #at some point i just put on my headphones nd tried to ignore it until he had moved on yay. #this happended in the car btw u guys need that context bc cars are eveil places for this reason parents are always Saying Shit there . augh #its so dumb like. this is why even when my parents r being fine i cant like. be around them. because they have caused me actual fr trauma #like intense trauma that impacts me every day bc i see them every fucking day. and i cant get away from it. so fun. #anyway. sorry this became a vent. SAD ! #flappy rambles #vent

[bigwiglesbrain]

the internet is getting more and more into purity culture by the DAY goddd 💀

#why r ppl freaking out over rabbit hole. it is a TAME fucking song #''b-but its miku!!'' miku is an adult in this depiction. she literally changes ages all yhe time depending on the music video. its like #an au miku if u will. + the animation ppl r freaking out over is depicting an oc and isnt even MIKU #the song is fire also. sorry #idk a song abt a girl having consensual sex but having mixed feelings abt it is NOT an intense or gross song idk what to tell u #did we not all grow up on ke$ha and katy perry its that level of tame #idk maybe i just grew up on plus boy (infinitively more gross song than rabbit hole but unfortunately still a bop) so maybe my views r warpe #*warped #and maybe i just have a rlly intense music taste. the ppl criticizing rabbit hole wld have an aneurysm at my playlist #but who knows. #this also is an issue w infantilizing asian ppl btw but this is not a convo that anyone who thinks rabbit hole is problematic can have