#they kinda glossed over it in the comics but in my mind he got pretty fucked up during that last fight :'))

[lincolnlogsnfrogs]

roach bitch and his asshole ghost wingman

#jk i love them lmao #iz #invader zim #zib #roach boy #zim 0001 #tw blood #the zim from zib's universe coming back to haunt him through the stolen PAK is one of my favorite headcanons #it's just funny as hell lmao #still working on his design :33 #they kinda glossed over it in the comics but in my mind he got pretty fucked up during that last fight :')) #since we refer to 0002 as 2im i think ill start calling the zim from zib's reality z1m to avoid confusion #and since he's technically from universe 0001?? #za1f #anyway ye ive gotten really interested in the lore behind these two characters and have so many headcanons and comic ideas and concepts tha #i'll share at a later time :333 #also how those two would interact with 2im and how the split personality of zib affects the za2r dynamic #damn the hyperfixation is real isn't it :')) #the brainrot is terminal and im deep in it now lads

[kamenstranger]

Before I dive into this review proper I want to give a heads-up that I am about to get into book spoilers and will be approaching this review with the assumption you've read the source material, which the show also expects. Likewise, I cannot talk about the show without getting into spoilers, due to the very nature of it. If you want my one piece of spoiler-free advice; think of it as a spin-off. Cause it kinda is. You'll have a much better time in that "What If?/Elseworlds" mindset.

If spoilers are cool with you, let's jump into it.

So, I was pretty much obsessed with the series in 2010. I was about 17/18 when I first got into the series. The 6th book wasn't out yet, and I can't even remember how I got into the series to begin with. But I believe I ordered volume 1 followed by 2-5 as soon as I finished, or maybe I went all in. I know for a fact I preordered vol. 6 when I finished vol 5. Still have the receipt for it; July 18th, 2010. 10.58 total.

I followed the various video updates on the movie, fan art, fell in love with the game, bought a Smashing Pumkins shirt, and the Anamanaguchi soundtrack was even the first digital album I bought for myself. I was basically just at the right age and state of mind for the series to grab me and have a profound effect with its themes. I think it's something I needed at the time.

But as much as the series meant to me, it's something I mostly moved on from. After all, the book ended in 2010, and until recently I probably hadn't reread it since 2013 or so. My books are in remarkable condition, actually. I mostly kept up with O'Malley's other works, and preordered Seconds when that was announced. Sadly haven't been keeping up with Snotgirl as much as I'd like, but I digress.

So when the show got announced… well, honestly my first reaction was "That thing they should've done after the Adult Swim short" Because, yeah, animation is a better medium for it. Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed the 2010 movie- one of the best theater experiences because the like 5 other people in the audience were massive fan girls loving all the bits. And there is a lot to love about the movie: its visual gags; the performances; the music selection; the overall direction- seriously, Edgar Wright doesn't get enough credit for how good he is at keying in on visuals. Dude knows how to translate comic panels and mimic the vibe of the source.

But it lacked the depth of the books. There's no major character arc for Scott and Ramona addressing their flaws. Hell, the books weren't even finished yet. There are a ton of great translations from comic to screen, but mostly the superficial. Moments like Scott's meeting with Knives in the alley showing that he's becoming more empathetic and confronting his mistakes are either absent or glossed over. Likewise, Knives' own journey of maturity isn't there. This isn't a complaint mind you, it's not like those cuts are unreasonable. I can hardly blame them for not cramming 6 (and incomplete) books into a two hour film. That just ain't gonna happen.

The biggest advantage in a series as opposed to a movie is the opportunity to properly explore the characters beyond a surface level. I'm not saying anything particularly revolutionary by stating the most universally agreed-upon element from the books is that Scott is a bit of a shit.

However, I think that statement is overly simplifying the situation and the character, one far too often invoked by hack frauds who don't truly engage with the work, because clickbait engagement is more valued than a nuanced analytical one. I won't sit here unpacking the full 6 volumes, you can check out someone like Popculturebuffet for that. But part of what works so well with Scott is that we don't initially know the extent of his baggage- and rightfully so. His worst aspect early on is ignorantly getting involved with Knives in the first place, stringing her along even after becoming enamored with Ramona, and being a bit of a slacker. This is something which is pointed out by literally everyone (sans Stephen) as being shitty. But otherwise, he seems fairly average and even endearing in a way. Scott's an affable character that's easy to like in spite of his very major flaws, and that's a statement that remains true throughout. The reader doesn't even get to simmer much on the scenario with Knives until later- and to some degree, this even applies to Scott himself. He's slightly oblivious to his actions, past and present. A prime example would be that we're initially under the impression that Scott doesn't like to drink, which is mostly true. Mostly.

It's not until volume 6 that it becomes clear he got into a drunken fight with Envy on New Year's, suddenly re-contextualizing that and other events. It doesn't negate how Envy was very much a bitch who treated Scott like complete garbage, cheated on him, and screwed his head up something fierce. She is unequivocally the worse person there. But it adds nuance that wasn't present before. I focus on the event with Envy because it's sort of a perfect microcosm of Scott as a character. Scott "doesn't" drink because of what happened, except on the 3-4 social occasions over the course of the 6 volumes, showing how he has a habit of just flat-out lying in various ways, including to himself. He's aware on some level, but simultaneously suppresses that awareness from memory and even re-imagines scenarios outright (Sometimes with a little help, unbeknownst to him) acting like everything was always fine on his end. This is even more true in his prior relationship with Kim.

Scott's solutions are half measures where he can pretend that he was always the victim in a breakup, or at least innocent and free of blame, thus never growing in a meaningful manner. Hell, that's the reason he ended up with Knives in the first place; he was trying to get over Envy, but not in a healthy manner. Change is seen as scary to Scott, and yet it's inevitable. That is, at least due in part to Envy changing into a hateful person. As such, Scott wants something simple where he doesn't have to put in effort. Knives is naive and doesn't see Scott for the dick that he is, she doesn't ask him to be better because he's already perfect to her naive mind. It's shallow, and a tad messed up, and everyone knows it, including Scott- hence his continued dreams about being alone. He knows it's not, cannot, and never will be serious. He's stupid, but not a monster- but stupidity can be a form of malice if one doesn't change their heart. It's not exactly like the story is even subtle about this. The entire existence of Nega Scott is that you can't fight the past, you can't run from it even if you hate that part of you. You have to confront it and accept it to move on, hopefully changing for the better. To say nothing of how Gideon is what Scott could become if he never owned up to it. That angle is why I felt Scott and Ramona worked. Quite frankly, Ramona is just as flawed of an individual running from her past. She's constantly trying to change herself, but always on a surface level. She's afraid of normalcy, of being stuck in a routine, of being happy. She makes out (Not that much) with her ex, Roxie, in anger because she sees Scott hanging with Lisa Miller and suspects the worst. She (rightfully) gets enraged at how Scott was still with Knives when he and her first went out, thus cheating- yet she did the same with the Katayanagi twins, and possibly Lucas. And, ya know, she never formally handed off the breakup letter to Gideon, so she's kinda doing the same thing Scott did with Knives and her. Ramona's past is just as checkered as Scott's. She's just as jealous, hypocritical, and nuanced. It just takes longer to realize that because she puts up emotional barriers and isn't the titular character/main focus. Neither one is evil, but they've wronged people. Often they've been wronged, and sometimes it's not a clean-cut scenario of easily blaming anyone. For all the great supporting cast, gags, fun references, and so forth, our two main protagonists being flawed yet likable is what makes the series compelling. The heart is two people gradually learning to get over their selves and their mistakes. To stop running away, and accept their faults and one another. Over the 6 books, we see them (albeit mainly Scott) put in the effort to be better, to build and maintain something special, and not just go with what's simple and easy. It's not about fighting the exes, it's about fighting for each other.

That type of character arc requires time for development. So, when it comes to this Netflix series, my biggest hope was simply that they would capture that element found within the books. In the lead-up to the show, there were some rumors about the exes having more to do, and I can see that working. As much as I do think the book does a fine job, Todd and Roxie are the only ones with a decent amount of depth. Matthew works perfectly because his simple backstory is a gag in itself. Lee is a fun character with a tiny bit of backstory, but it's barely there. Gideon I can forgive due to his mysterious final boss nature and his schtick is being the extreme opposite of Scott. But the Twins? They're shafted pretty hard. They're there to fill out a roster. Honestly, though, even Roxie would've benefited greatly from the smallest of backstories ala Lucas Lee. She's perhaps the most interesting because she and Ramona are on good enough terms to have coffee together. Hell, Rox genuinely cares for Ramona, and unlike Lucas Lee, she's prominent enough in the story that a simple flashback could have been the cherry on top of all that.

The other part is streamlining story elements. No surprise there. From the get-go, O'Malley said it was not a 1-1 adaptation, and honestly, it shouldn't be. Some parts should be changed for the sake of convenience, and frankly, the book has some superfluous parts. Does anyone even remember Jason Kim? He shows up like twice as "dude with car" and apparently dating Kim Pine until dorking her housemate. That gives the impression of each character having their own life and drama that we're not privy to, which is nice. But it's also not important to include outside the books. Kim (Pine) becoming self-conscious when Envy is brought up, smiling when Scott stays over, or her dead-eyed expression as she lies during the fight with the Twins. All of that says far more about her, her feelings, her love life etc.

Then there's Knives' dad. Fun in the book, wouldn't take him out. But completely unneeded for emotional and narrative development. Sometimes you gotta look at the source material and realize that even if you like something, tacking on an extra hour for the most obvious whodunit would kill the pacing in an adaptation. (That was a LOTR reference for those playing at home)

However, the above scenarios are a trepidatious path. How does one decide what needs reworking, cutting, or expanding? They're necessary for an adaption, but they're not always obvious. If you're not careful, you can completely undermine or mishandle key elements that made the original so beloved. You risk removing seemingly innocuous moments that add a lot to a character's growth. Above, I mentioned that the Twins got shafted in the book, but there isn't really a good place to expand upon them in the original story. They're not as important as Ramona's growing discontent. It's why Scott's fight with robot 01 is relegated to background gags while we focus on Ramona and Kim. You could put a flashback during the final confrontation with the Twins, but that would muck up the pacing and take away from Kim's far more important character moment in lying to Scott to bolster him. The Twins are just narrative scaffolding holding a spotlight on what we should be focusing on. That's what all the exes are to some extent. Shallow, sure, but only so the other characters get depth.

It's not an easy line to walk. If you push too hard on telling a more original story or focus too much on "correcting" various details, you can negate what were otherwise successful plot points. Do too little and the pacing falls apart because the medium is completely different. Would the changes made still contain a similar level of depth and satisfying character arcs, or would it merely be a shallow reworking of the broadest of strokes? The only way to not lose is not to play. These are the concerns I had in the lead up to the show, which is fairly routine. We also weren't getting a lot of information storywise, aside from that it would be mostly doing its own thing (This is something that should have been emphasized more in marketing) The trailers showed familiar set pieces; that Ramona delivers DVDs for Netflix now, which is a great and absurd change; You saw some of the streamlining by having Scott rent Lucas Lee films, thus inadvertently getting a head start on that and cutting out the No Account Video segment; there's a brief original bit where Ramona talks to Julie about how well the date with Scott went. Most of the setting also looked like it was from the first and sixth volumes, which was a tad odd. But other than that, they were tight lipped about the narrative. Most of the promotional focus was on music, the returning cast, and the animation. All great things unique to this medium that we will get into in due time. Speaking of, let's finally discuss

Scott Pilgrim Takes Off

So you know how Final Fantasy 7 Remake emphasized the "Remake" part? Well, we kinda have that here with the "Take Off" part.

I'll just cut right to the chase. Scott seemingly dies in the fight with Patel in the first episode. Episode two is his absolutely absurd funeral. Almost the rest of the episode is centered around Patel wanting to take over the league for himself, and succeeding in doing so, gaining all of Gideon's assets, while the league dissolves once they realize Patel didn't even get Ramona back after winning.

This is uh, certainly a direction to go.

Let's put aside not following the source material and this being an original story. Why should I care about this story? I'll concede that he and Gideon have a great fight. The animation from Science Saru is great, and the voice performances are great: Shoutouts to Satya Bhabha, his delivery is impeccable, hilarious, and a major highlight of the show. But why should I care about these events, this retake? What's the hook? Thus far, the primary purpose of the show feels like a fake out, gags, and fights. I spent the opening of this review going over the emotional weight of the books, that's the anchor. So far, I'm getting moments without substance. Am I supposed to care because I have a prior connection to these characters? This is something I wouldn't figure out a proper description and answer for until the finale. My issues also felt exacerbated by both the advertisements not making the original story angle clear, and also how good the first episode starts off. Because Cera as Scott is truly perfect. Cera was a voice actor before transitioning to the screen, and his performance is top-notch in addition to being a great vocal fit to begin with. So it's kinda disappointing to not have him around for quite a bit. Anyway, the second episode ends with Ramona dreaming and hearing Scott's voice, meaning that Scott isn't dead, he's in Subspace or somewhere.

Episode 3: Ramona Rents a Video.

As if answering one of my questions immediately, the third episode finally gives a hook as Ramona starts playing detective, like Pikachu Columbo. That's the selling point, that this is primarily Ramona's story.

She checks out footage of the Patel fight, showing that someone pulled Scott through a portal (Hence the title of the show, wink-wink.) Ramona then heads to First Cup to get a person of interest list from Julie- which is a pretty damn funny sequence, actually. I'm starting to enjoy the show at this point, and it's kinda wild how much more enjoyable Julie is in both the movie and show compared to the comics. Sure, she's a bitch, but she's a fun bitch due in no small part to Aubrey Plaza's wonderfully riled vocals. After getting the necessary info, Ramona is led to Kim since she knew Scott the longest. We even get a cute story about the poorly drawn Sheep Scott did, which looks hilariously WAY worse in the show.

There's also a key comment from Kim that I think is to make a point for dorks like me. Kim mentions that she was once kidnapped by a guy named Simon and rescued by Scott. That was a false memory of Scott's in the books. In vol. 6, Kim pointed out to Scott that Simon was just a dude she went out with like twice, probably hugged, and Scott beat up. This is one of a number of clues that seem to be here to firmly establish this isn't the same continuity as the books being messed with, and should not be thought of as a sequel if that was a concern.

Anyways, their conversation is cut short when Roxie arrives in the hope of rekindling her former flame. But things go south pretty quickly and Roxie's hotheadedness takes over.

What follows is one of the best fights in the show, equal parts funny and clever. Hell, it starts with Rox drawing her sword and accidentally cutting the sprinkler line. It adds a dramatic pseudo rain that's completely negated by Kim's wonderfully deadpan expression as all the damn tapes in the store become soaked.

During the scuffle with Ramona, a shelf of movies falls on the two which… somehow transports them into various movies? I dunno, we're working off video game logic, I guess Gex counts. It's a sequence that I'm sure was done purely for looking interesting. To its credit, the visual styling is on point. From Japanese historical drama to a post-Matrix early 2000s green filter era, to a scratchy film-grain-heavy WW2 film. The backing track also flows into each film genre. I also love a quick gag where Kim watches the fight on a CRT and fucks around with the rewind and pause feature, allowing Ramona to counter an earlier attack. Roxie gets knocked back into the store, smashes the remote, and gets dragged back into the movies by Ramona. That's great.

As the fight continues, Ramona and Rox begin arguing about their relationship, and we get that flashback sequence! It's a small thing, but they show that Ramona left without a word and how that tore Roxie up. Good lord, someone hug that poor girl, she looks like a sad puppy. In a legit great moment, Ramona has to confront how she treated Roxie, sincerely apologizing for it, which Roxie tearfully accepts it. I gotta say, Mae Whitman really gets to shine in the role more than ever. She's one of those I point to when talking about just how perfect everyone sounds exactly how I'd expect.

After the fight, she hangs out with Ramona and Kim for a bit, being very flirty with both. Kim even smooches her for the hell of it, although both admit there wasn't anything there. But hey, they managed to still get a Bi-curious Kim in here, and in a way that was better than in the books.

Elsewhere, a beat-to-hell Gideon arrives in town, meeting with Julie, an old schoolmate.

I legitimately liked this, there's actual emotional weight going on, there's interesting shit being done, and I'm settling into the show's intent. I like the idea of giving Ramona her own story with a slight focus on how she feels about her past. I think her going out of the way as much as she does for Scott, a dude she just met, is a little flimsy. Again, it's really expecting the audience to care because we, in theory, care about them getting together.

Ep. 4: Whatever.

Things get really fucking meta in this one. Ruling Roxie out as the kidnapper, who didn't even know Scott was alive, Ramona turns her attention to Lucas Lee, who is starting a new picture in Toronto.

Turns out the movie is from Young Neil's screenplay, which "he" wrote back in ep 3, or rather a mysterious "sleep paralysis demon" he saw did. The movie is about Scott's life if he won the fight with Patel.

This toying with the universe thing is getting a little unsettling.

Most of this episode is one big meta gag about making a Scott Pilgrim movie with Director Edgar Wrong. I'm not even mad at this, I'm just completely flabbergasted at what the hell I'm seeing. And this will become a reoccurring bit throughout.

Also hope you like gags about Knives' age cause holy shit they reference this a lot throughout the show.

It's at this point in my viewing process I have developed a headache.

To give some credit, Lucas is fun in this episode. He's more in line with the film version, and Evans actually sounds better than ever, likely thanks to age and simply having more to say. And like with Roxie, Lee has a Flashback. There isn't much more than what was in the book, but I think the presentation is better. Seeing Ramona patch him up after a bad fall, and Lucas arranging his Locker (which is filled with photos of Ramona) as she and Todd walk behind him. Man, that stings.

Needless to say, Lee isn't responsible for Scott's disappearance and with the whole "controversy" regarding him dating a 31 year old actress playing a highschooler, he's hounded off the lot and has to be replaced by Todd, which seems to be a reoccurring thing for him.

Ep. 5: Lights. Camera. Sparks?!

I'm now starting to believe this entire show may have been an elaborate troll towards people obsessed with adaptation accuracy to a fault. I almost want to applaud the sheer audacity of it. Suffice it to say, 95% of this episode is done in a documentary style, and there are a lotta hijinks on set. Ramona is working as Envy's stunt double just so she can have easier access to the set and hopefully get a lead from Todd. Wallace also bones Todd. A LOT. Oh yes, Wallace shacks up with Todd, and Todd is really into it. Wallace, on the other hand, just wanted to hook up with a hot dude, leading to a whole excursion and depressive vegan breaking episode for Todd. Brandon Routh really gets to go full ham here, and it's wonderful.

Some damn funny parts aside, Todd wasn't behind the portal, but it was certainly vegan in nature. Ramona is otherwise back to Square one until Patel, by happenstance, arrives on the lot to fire everyone. Afterward, Patel has a brief confluence with Stephen Stills and Knives, who manage to get an in with him. Since Scott's apparent death, Knives has taken his place in Sex-Bob-omb on Bass (and keyboard) making decent music with Stephen Stills. The importance of that will come into play next episode.

Patel then turns his attention to Ramona. Obviously, Patel wouldn't have any reason to keep Scott around, but it's entirely plausible Gideon, or rather his real identity, Gordon Goose, would as part of a revenge scheme.

Ep. 6: WHODIDIT. This episode starts with probably the best opening gag that I kinda don't wanna ruin despite spoiling everything else. I'm probably gonna be adding "I was gone for 90 %#&! minutes" to my quotes, though.

In any case, this is a fairly straightforward episode. Ramona interviews Julie once again, but it becomes clear that Gideon, Goose, has neither the mental state nor resources to pull something like that off. As an aside, we get a flashback with him as well, showing that he was the school nerd. He supposedly had no fear (No pain) until he aimed well above his status in asking a girl out, leading to him being laughed out of school, which Julie remembers all too well.

It seems like another dead-end, but when Ramona accompanies Julie back to her house, they both see a familiar Robot, the Twins' 01 Robot, which has been making very unsubtle appearances in every episode up to this point; Lee's place; outside the video store; the studio lot, etc. We also have a B-plot with Stephen Stills and Knives making music for a stage adaption of Neil's Screenplay so it doesn't go to waste.

Cute.

It's here where it becomes known that Neil didn't write the script, and upon checking the original file, realize something is off and that Ramona should be informed. All parties gather in Ramona's apartment as she goes over the pertinent information in whodidit (dunit?) fashion, including treating us to another flashback, this time with the twins. It's probably the least engaging of the flashbacks, honestly. Even in this, they get shafted. Regardless, the who and how are solved. But Not the why or where. Where Scott is remains a mystery, but it's likely the Twins know, which is where Ramona intends to check out.

Oh, and the information the gang has about Neil's Script? The metadata says it was written 14 years from now. But just as more questions are raised, another winds up on Ramona's doorstep; Scott, safe and mostly sound. The Twins were in fact behind it, and the robot, and… himself.

Ep. 7: 2 Scott 2 Pilgrim.

Yes, the one who pulled Scott out of Time was himself, from the future; a 37 year old Scott. The how is rather simple and already answered; the Katayanagi twins. Older Scott and them became friends in the future, even starting a band; Pop'n TwinBee (RIP Shatterband.) By the way, if you ever wanted to hear Will Forte sing a hilariously bad cover of Konya Wa Hurricane from Bubblegum Crisis as an older Scott Pilgrim, this is the show for you. I was laughing my ass off at this.

Anyway, the robot was disconnected from a fixed time stream, and being a vegan cause, ya know, robot, is able to create portals. Therefore Time portals. As to the why, Scott showed his past self using a virtual reality machine on the Virtual Guuy[sic], complete with red and black pixel art mimicking the style of the game. Past Scott sees memories on the not Virtual Boy; Defeating the Evil Exes, future marriage to Ramona, their honey moon at Universal… and divorce. Well, technically they're just separated after 13 odd years of marriage. Older Scott has since been living with Wallace and his husband.

Exactly what happened is never stated, just that the pain was so much Scott decided to follow through on a sarcastic comment from Wallace and prevent falling for Ramona in the first place. Old Wallace sums up the mental state of Old Scott to regular Scott, describing it as "Like after Envy, times ten." Which uh, yeah, no wonder Older Scott's a tad kooky.

It's at this point I have to bring up personal stuff, and it's something that I thought I might have to. So, when Scott Pilgrim's Finest Hour dropped in 2010, I distinctly remember reading an interview with O'Malley about the ending. In the lead-up to the final book there was a lot of speculation from fans that maybe Scott and Ramona wouldn't end up together (there was a strong case to be made for Kim) maybe it would end badly since both Scott and Ramona have their struggles. Some people even thought he would end up with Knives, which is missing the entire point of her character arc, and also fuck no.

Ultimately we got the ending we did because, at the time, O'Malley was happy, so he thought Scott should be happy. But O'Malley divorced in 2014.

I dislike bringing that up, but that was leading me to speculate (and brace myself) if that would have an impact here. I mean, how could it not? And look, there is a good argument that Scott and Ramona needn't stay together for their journey together to be satisfying. It would fit right in line with the theme that things don't always stay the same. People can grow apart, even the important ones that change your life. I don't like that outcome, but it's not as if it's wrong to consider. Particularly for a story like this.

But I also think there's an element of overt cynicism to that. What's interesting is that the show doesn't go in that direction. In fact, it's actually insistent that Ramona and Scott can't help but be drawn to one another, there's a spark there. We even get a scene of Scott hooking up the 01 robot to the VR, and since 01 is connected across time, he can see into the past versions. The robot seen throughout the show was Scott seeing that Ramona was constantly looking for him, and that's genuinely sweet.

Still, the situation is bad, as Scott is trapped in the future and can't use the Robot to travel for reason.

On Young Scott's insistence, he and Older Wallace meet up with Older Ramona, discovering she was the one who went back in time and wrote Young Neil's Screenplay in a failed attempt to preserve their story and hopefully thwart Older Scott. (Let's not go crossed-eyed thinking too hard about paradoxes)

He's a misguided idiot, but Ramona still loves the moron, even if she has her doubts after her failed plan. But Scott's words of encouragement about his Ramona never giving up on him gives her hope. Importantly, she can time travel with her DeLorean roller blades, which is how Scott can and did get back to the past.

But even after Scott's return and reunion, their problems aren't over, as a force field prevents Ramona and Scott from kissing. Someone is still interfering, and the list of who might as well just be the entire list of exes. Thankfully, Stephen Stills and Knives have a convenient plan: The stage musical is going to have all the exes in attendance, so they've got one big gathering spot to get to the bottom of this.

This is one of my favorite episodes of the show. It's cool seeing older versions of the characters, and frankly, the presentation is just great. I do think that too much of that emotional weight is relying on events from the books for your investment. I know, I know. Can't enjoy a good thing without a critique. Still, this is a great episode, one of my favorites along with ep. 3, and our next and final episode.

Oh, and the end credits has a proper rendition of Konya Wa Hurricane, so that's fucking cool.

Ep. 8: The World Vs Scott Pilgrim.

So here we are at the big finale at the premiere of the Scott Pilgrim Musical.

The thing is, none of the exes seem to be suspect. Gideon is the only one with ulterior motives, but they're not towards Scott and Ramona, he just wants to blow up the stage and Matthew Patel.

But not long after everyone is seated something goes awry. A portal appears and transports all the exes and Scott's friend group (And also Julie and the robot) to a barren land.

The one behind this, and the force field, was an Even Older and very buff Scott (47) He slipped past Scott nano machines as a backup to prevent him from ever getting close to Ramona, but even that wasn't enough. So for 10 years he trained to take everyone out, as it's the only way to be sure. And so our final battle begins: The World vs. Scott Pilgrim. If you listen closely to the track during this scene "Big Bad" incorporates elements of "The Dark One" Nega Scott's theme from the game. That's a nice touch.

Even Older Scott is no pushover, he breaks Ramona's Hammer, and despite a fairly good comeback from regular Scott, he beats him pretty bad. The others come to his aid, Knives attacking with daggers, but Even Older Scott punches Knives so hard he knocks the highlights our of her hair.

Ramona begins handing out items from her bag, cyber broccoli for Todd, a cyber skateboard for Lucas, and a cyber sword for Roxie, just as the sub boss music from the game kicks in. Along with Matthew's mystic arts, they mange to actually lay into Even Older Scott, but that only causes him… to go… even further beyond, and One hit KO the four.

The Twins Robot is ineffectual and even Gideon's not quite the glow-douken has no effect. Even Older Scott just grabs it and turns it against Stephen, Knives, Kim, and Neil. This. This is actually fucking awesome. It's going full Shonen ham.

We're down to just Ramona and Scott, who team up and hit him together, followed by Scott and Even Older Scott literally butting heads. We get our obligatory speech between a younger Scott just wanting to live his life, and Even Older Scott saying he'll just end up where he's at if he does.

And it finally clicked into place what the hell Scott Pilgrim Takes Off actually is. This is like a Shonen spin off story. Your Broly Trilogy, Hunter X Hunter The Last Mission, Naruto Blood Mission. But with an X-men time travel plot slapped on. It's an excuse to play around and do different (mostly cool) shit with a set of familiar characters. Like a movie or OVA, the characterization isn't as deep as the main source material. It banks on you giving a damn because of the familiarity so they can mostly get right to the cool bits and not try as hard or waste time on the re-interpretative parts. Don't think too hard about the misgivings, think about Akuma Scott beating the shit out of everyone while the familiar music you're nostalgic for plays.

And goddamn that's frustrating because that's what they should've led with. All the damn trailers were dancing around the new material and making it seem like an adaptation. To keep on the Anime brand, if people are expecting a "Brotherhood" or "Ultimate" version with a Cast they like, and then they don't get that… well yeah that's not gonna go over well. I can't fault anyone for being mad about that. That's having the rug pulled out from under you. But once you realize what this is, and what it's doing, it's a lot easier to enjoy and be its own thing. It branches off a similar story to the books, but it's not like this is a canonical revision or sequel to them.

That said, just because it's "less developed" doesn't mean this is without heartfelt moments I enjoy. When it seems like Even Older Scott has the upper hand, an even older Ramona shows up to chew old Scott out for not even texting in 10 years, fighting people in the past rather than fighting for them, all because of one rough patch. It's funny, but it also confirms the biggest divergence. This is a world where Scott was never kicked out during the Roxie chapter, a world without Gideon's "Glow" mental manipulation, and presumably Scott never faced his inner demons because of it. This also means Ramona didn't run off after the twins' defeat because the glow wasn't affecting her mentality, and thus she faced her own. That one line snowballs into a lot of stuff not happening for their character growth. That- that is an interesting concept.

This all leads to a poignant scene where Ramona questions her older self if she should even bother. What's the point if it ends up like this? Maybe it's best to just keep moving. But, that's also Ramona's thing, isn't it? Running away from what she loves, which is presumably (along with his own stupidity) what set Older Scott down a spiral in the first place. In a scene that parallels Scott's own understanding within the books, Ramona comes to realize she's ran all her life.

In the end, Ramona chooses to stop running and embrace herself, quite literally. Both Ramona's combining into, as Scott puts it "Super Ramona" Able to see the situation for what it is, one Scott still in many ways a dumb kid, the other Scott just a sad mess. She simply sends Older Scott back to his time with the hope he'll straighten out. Meanwhile, the nano machines are still a problem with current Scott. But that's nothing a super form can't overload with a determined kiss. Daww.

Before things go back to normal and because she'll have trouble saying it later, she tells Scott she loves him, and that she tends to run away from what she loves. But who she was in the past isn't who she is now. She just needs help remembering that.

Everyone returns to the theater to enjoy the rest of the musical, and Patel's demon girls subvert Gideon's plans. After the show, he and Julie are apprehended, but Matthew instead begs Gideon to take all his crap back. He has no idea how to run a company, is stressed out, and has lost billions. All Matthew wants is to continue the stage show.

We then get an epilogue. Lucas Lee takes up a job at Second First Cup; Todd has returned to being a Vegan with coaching from Roxie; The rental store Kim worked at closes down; Wallace takes a vacation to Paris where he meets Mobile; Knives continues performing with Sex-Bob-Omb as their keyboardist; Ramona gives up delivery work and instead returns to being a stunt double.

We end on Ramona coloring her hair once again, before heading out and meeting with Scott and the others, as Plumtree's Scott Pilgrim plays us off.

Only for a mid-credits scene to show Gideon and Julie plotting revenge. Oooo.

And that is Scott Pilgrim Takes Off.

s'allright, innit? Okay, joking aside- I think I'm gonna have a hard time conveying my feelings on this one. But I still have three more things to talk about before we get to my final thoughts.

First off, the voice acting is great, shockingly great. I'm a person who is very much of the mindset that you should hire voice actors for voice roles BUT, in this instance, I can understand why. It's incredible they got everyone back and how well they work. I've already given my praise to Cera, Bhabha, Plaza, Whitman, Routh, and Evans in the story portion of this review. But I'm drastically overdue to talk about Winstead's performance. I think this was the one people were most curious about because in the movie there was this aura of Ramona feeling more "cold" in her personality. This was due to the original direction they wanted to take that version, and sadly it meant we didn't quite get a more angles. Here? Yeah, this is pretty great. We hear Ramona full of regret, angry, annoyed, sentimental. It's a much more well-rounded version. My one nitpick is Winstead needs to work on her battle cries, it really stands out in the Roxie fight opposite a veteran VA like Whitman. But otherwise, this is how I imagine Ramona sounding. And I'd be remiss if I didn't bring up how anytime Ramona has a vulnerable moment talking about Scott, she genuinely sounds smitten. The Future Ramona (the first one) in particular stands out to me. That's a version of the character that's older, clearly hurt, and weary, but still very much in love. I can't help imagining that being applied to scenes from the book. In Vol. 5 the part after The Twins are defeated and Scott returns. That scene always tears me apart when I read it. I'm fairly certain if I heard Cera and Winstead's performance of that it would rip my soul out. So maybe it's best we only have this original story. So yeah, I'm happy to see that she fits right into the role better than ever.

Another performance I've yet to mention is Ellen Wong, who is just as perfectly energetic as she was in the film. It's a shame we don't get to hear her do a somber Knives in this setting, but it's hard to complain with how pleasant it is hearing her chipper over the top excitement. Alison Pill's Kim Pine is as sardonic as always, and much like Routh and Evans, I think she's even better now. Johnny Simmon sounds exactly the same, no complaints, 10/10. Jason Schwartzman is an experienced VA, so no surprise he sounds fine. He doesn't get to stretch out much since Gideon isn't super prominent here. Although episode 6 did show a lot of range and potential for what you could do with him. Maybe next season? Similarly Brie Larson's Envy doesn't have a whole lot of screen time, but she's equal parts charming and manipulative. Honestly, for a small as the role is, it made me realize just how much Larson is good at the role and how that level of emotion is often subdued in roles elsewhere. Honestly, I hate to say it, but Mark Webber's Stephen Stills is probably one of the weaker performances on the show. It's not even that it's bad, it's fine and works- except for the animation. That's the one caveat. There are a couple of moments where Stephen Stills is pantomiming, and the voice doesn't match that energy. Truth be told, I even sorta have a similar issue with Kieran Culkin's Wallace, which I swear looks like the syncing was off in the earlier episodes. The saving grace is that Wallace has more scenes than Stephen Stills and therefore Culkin got more opportunities. This is sorta the area I mean when I think it's best to get trained VA. It's a completely different medium and hard to jump into immediately.

I don't wanna end this segment on a downer, so I'll once again mention Will Forte sings Like a Hurricane. OH, Segue.

Soundtrack

So I did not know what to expect going into this. I mean, I was a fan of Anamanaguchi, but I hadn't kept up since Endless Fantasy, sans the Miku single- which is really good by the way. And Joseph Trapanese I was most familiar with from his collaboration with Daft Punk on Tron Legacy, so no worries there. But I did wonder how well a chiptune heavy sound would work. As much as I dig it, it's a very upbeat vibe. Even some of Anamanaguchi's more dramatic tracks have a charming bubbliness to them. How would that work within a series? Well, the short answer is they don't have as much chiptune going on as you would assume. There are a few that incorporate chiptunes to a limited degree, others a bit more, but most not at all. The vast majority of the OST is more traditional fair and Synthwave, and in a way, it sorta mimics my own evolving tastes. I still listen to Chiptune stuff, but I'm also really big into synth music nowadays. It feels like a proper bookend to my late-teens early twenties listening to Anamanaguchi, and later Dance with the Dead and Midnight Danger, and now Anamanaguchi's synth offerings. One of the tracks, Yet Another Winter Again (Calling back to the first stage in The Game) has a Redbook audio sound with a hint of Chiptune, but not the NES/GB Anamanaguchi is known for. It sounds like a SNES. In fact, I would compare the track to something you'd hear in VA-11 Hall-A. So even when there are chiptunes, we're branching out quite a bit in both sound fonts and style. Of course, there are a couple of vocal tracks as well. Like the movie, there are universe songs for Sex-Bob-Omb. They have a unrefined roughness to them, which is perfect for a small unprofessional indie band. As for some of my favorite tracks, the aforementioned Yet Another Winter Again; He's You; And They were Roommates; Blame it on the Goose; Big Bad; Bad Guys; Knives & Kim; and God Only Knows. I'm sure that'll change as time goes on. I'm really digging Lucas' flashback music, and Fond Memories, nice parallel between those two. In fact there's quite a few pieces that, in tandem with the animation, do a lot to sell those heartwarming (or wrenching) moments.

Animation.

Oh right, the animation. So, if you read my Castlevania Nocturne review, you know I went on a slight tangent about how I think it's silly that they labeled it an anime despite it being produced and partly animated in goddamn Texas. It was just a label because they're embarrassed to call their super serious animation what it is because they think anime sounds more mature. I swear some people still think it's 1985 and Vampire Hunter D is the wildest shit cause blood.

Funny thing about Scott Pilgrim though, it's just straight-up animated by Science Saru. I'm not here to get into semantics, because then we'll be asking if Batman TAS counts because Sunrise. I just find it funny. At the very least Takes Off certainly fits the bill more than Nocturne does. But back on topic, it's fucking good. I mean, I don't think that comes as any surprise. Science Saru has made a name for doing really impressive work from Devilman Crybaby, to Keep Your Hands Off Eizouken!, and the shorts Akakiri and T0-B1 for Star Wars Visions. Not to mention supplemental work for the Garo anime, OK-KO, and Adventure Time. So Scott Pilgrim is perfectly in their wheelhouse, and they do an incredible job capturing O'Malley's illustrations while adding their own unique flare to the styling.

Sadly Tumblr's gif size limit means I can't easily showcase some of the fights as much as I'd like, but suffice it to say the level of fluidity and cinematography is astonishing. Again, episode 3 is an amazing showcase in itself.

To say nothing of how expressive everyone is in the show.

Also this is a weird one, but I think with the exception to episodes 5 & 7, each episode has Ramona going through a bleaching and dye routine. It is bizarrely satisfying to watch, like the tea making in Samurai Jack.

Final Thoughts.

Takes Off was both a confusing shock and a pleasant surprise upon first viewing. It's impressive in its existence, and has moments that I fucking love. Like the Shonen it emulates, it does also come off as a tad superfluous or melodramatic in many respects. But it is fun to bust out old toys and play with them again. The fact that in 2023 I'm seeing a new work related to Scott Pilgrim is fucking incredible. I'm happy that this exists, I'm happy to hear the cast together again, and happy to hear some great music tracks. And I do love the characters of Scott Pilgrim, I love the performances in this show, I love numerous parts of this show. But, I also think it's fair to say what I love most aren't these characters. And that's okay. Those characters should remain in the series that ended in 2010, while these are easily malleable versions for an animated series to have fun with. Maybe you could never capture or replicate the exact magic of the books again, so it's better to just do your own thing. Takes Off was, in the end, a fun time that I think works best when you know what you're getting into. Once you're armed with that knowledge, I think you'll find a show much easier to appreciate.

All that said, as backhanded as this is going to seem, I still think the nicest thing that Takes Off did was get me to re-read the book series for this review. I got to re-examine a profound series from the perspective of a 31 year old, but still find all that I originally loved as a 17 year old. When it comes to adaptive works, no matter what, the nice thing is you'll always have the originals to go back to. You change, maybe your tastes change, and certain things hit differently or don't hold up when you go back. But it's nice to revisit. I think nostalgia can be a poison. Too many people get caught up in wanting to relive the exact moment, to be trapped. But I think it's more fun to see something you love still remain a love even after so much time has passed. I'm happy with how I felt as a teenager reading a story about emotional growth. Some personally, some apart, and others closer. In my 30s, I still appreciate that, and it still affects me and resonates. But just because I cherish that above all else doesn't mean I wouldn't be interested in more Scott Pilgrim. And if O'Malley and Grabinski wanna make more people sing 80s anime songs badly, I'll be on board for that alone.

Or Roxie flirting with every woman. Seriously, she's so much fun.

As always, thanks for reading. Reblogs are appreciated and you can find me elsewhere on the worldwideweb at: Bsky Ko-Fi

So does Gideon still have his exes frozen somewhere, or is that another difference?

Oh, and now that we have a Netflix Series, can we get a Nendoroid Ramona? There's been like no high end merch since Mondo in 2017.

#scott pilgrim #scott pilgrim takes off #netflix #bryan lee o'malley #edgar wright #bendavid grabinski #science saru #anime #animated

[palidoozy-art]

The more I think about your recent post about the changes you made to Strahd, the more I wonder about those changes you made to the others mentioned (Rahadin, Van Richten, Ireena, etc). I'd absolutely love to hear what adjustments you made as you already shared some stellar ideas already. Like the Tome? -Chef kiss- Amazing.

Oh mannn I do love talking about my campaign. I changed a lot with them. Again, weirdly enough, I think Strahd wound up being the most like his original incarnation. I could talk forever about the changes I made so I'll try to be brief haha. IT STILL WON'T BE BRIEF.

Obvious CoS spoilers below

IREENA - I thought it was weird that the picture they gave her makes her look like such a badass, and then the module just kind of writes her as a damsel in distress to either get kidnapped or pulled into water or dumped somewhere. To me, she's like, the second most important character in CoS -- and the book literally gives you less direction to roleplay her than her brother. Furthermore, reading her ending actually legit made me mad.

So I said fuck all that. Ireena in my game was a 19-year old girl who grew and developed over the course of the campaign. Several of my players actually said they thought of her as "the main character," just because she experienced a lot of character growth and development, going from a sheltered meek teenager to someone who can fight and assert herself. The biggest change I made to her though was that I very specifically did not just want her to be "Tatyana with memory loss." Ireena is a unique individual who happens to be partially made out of Tatyana's soul. While she shares many similarities with Tatyana, they're separate people, and part of what Ireena has to grapple with is how to live up to that. She's in the post-campaign because of that distinction -- while Sergei offered her to join him, she declined, because she wants to experience life past her twenties. I didn't get to play it out because we were kind of rushing towards the end, but I honestly envisioned a scene where she talks to the portrait of Tatyana, apologizing to her because she knows she's being selfish remaining alive.

This also brings up a unique problem in the post campaign. If Ireena dies, she ceases to exist and may not be able to be resurrected. When her soul leaves her body, it's Tatyana's again. Ireena very much wants to live. Tatyana doesn't. A resurrection has to be made with the consent of the soul, and if Tatyana declines, Ireena's just... gone. Forever.

Related: because I wasn't sure what my players would ask, and Rahadin would absolutely know this information -- there have been 18 incarnations of Tatyana, including the original. I actually have a timeline of when they were all born and how they died. The curse manifests in that they always die or are killed before their 25th birthday. If Strahd attempts to marry them, they lose their minds and throw themselves off of the same balcony the original Tatyana jumped off of during the ceremony. Strahd can never have Tatyana. Vampyr will ensure of that.

But yeah, essentially: Ireena gained actual class levels; she wasn't just Tatyana with memory loss; she traveled with the party for 90% of the campaign and wasn't just a macguffin to be kidnapped/take to places; and I removed any of the "Sergei takes her into water/the sky and you never see her again" endings because I absolutely hated those.

VAN RICHTEN - Van Richten I tweaked a lot from his original incarnation. First, I started him off as Lawful Neutral. No, game, I know you tell me he's Lawful Good, but I'm gonna have to disagree with you that "training a racist tiger to genocide an ethnic camp" falls under the spectrum of Lawful Good. Second, I changed him from cleric to artificer (alchemist). I somehow just got the impression the dude was a godless man, and so he felt more fitting to be a man of science rather than a man of the church. Third, since I wasn't sure the other dread domains were ever going to be brought into 5e I moved him out of Darkon and into another world from the outside.

His backstory was also tied more into Strahd and the campaign in general, as well as the Dark Powers. About 30 years ago, he went into the mists with his own adventuring party (that included Escher) to try to rescue his kidnapped son, Erasmus. He found his son half-turned and begging him for death. Killing him, Van Richten hunted down the Vistani woman (Ezmerelda's mother) who sold the man, and in a rage strangled her to death. This gave him a curse. Ezmerelda witnessed it happen.

He went on a warpath against vampire spawn and vistani alike, until Strahd proposed a deal to Escher. Escher lured the group to a familiar dinner date with Strahd... only for Strahd to murder all of them, including Van Richten. Van Richten was approached by a dark power -- Vaund the Evasive, and given the option to return to life in exchange for the promise that Van Richten would eventually return to Amber Temple and free him. He took it, waking up outside of Barovia. From there he became famed vampire-hunter-book-author, until in his early 50's he decided it was time to seek vengeance and fulfill his promise. He brought in his hat of disguise, came up with an alibi, and headed into Barovia as Rictavio the Great.

He was absolutely played as a much more morally grey character at the start (the party's first encounter with him rather than Rictavio was him literally torturing a dude). He softened over the course of the campaign as he grew attached to the party, until finally reaching a point in the post-campaign where he's considered Lawful Good

Also: Ezmerelda was treated more or less as his adoptive daughter. She absolutely argued against this every single time, but he even slipped up and referred to her as his daughter on a few tense occasions.

RAHADIN - Rahadin I adjusted a lot, too. A LOOOOOOT. Strahd being comically evil makes sense -- the dude is a darklord, that kind of comes with the territory. With Rahadin, I wanted him to have more motivations to his actions, because the base game actually suggests that the dude is actually capable of caring. In the base game, you can find him at Amber Temple, trying to "petition the dark god into releasing his master from his torment." He screams in grief if he finds Strahd dead. Furthermore it felt like the game glosses over the fact that the dude was adopted as Barov's son. It doesn't bother addressing how Rahadin felt about Sergei, who would in theory be his other brother. I thought a number of things suggested in his backstory were interesting, but not expanded upon in the base game. So I took it upon myself to do so.

I changed how dusk elf society was built, which affected the three major dusk elf characters. It worked off of a pretty brutal caste system, with three kings at the top overseeing all of it. Rahadin was born in a lower caste, but actually brought into the warrior caste after a member of royalty was intrigued by his stature. Rahadin worked as a general, but grew frustrated by the inefficiencies of the caste system and its inequality. He started attempting to use his influence to petition other members of nobility into changing or loosening the strict system.

Patrina caught wind of this, and viewing it as a threat to her lifestyle + viewing it as an easy way to gain brownie points with those above her... tattled on him to the three kings, spinning what he was doing as treason. Rahadin was arrested and subsequently tortured. They attempted to execute him on a breaking wheel, breaking his bones against the spokes and leaving him in the town square as an example. He wound up escaping, crawling his way out of town until he was subsequently rescued by a group of human monks. The event pretty much broke him, morally. He went to Barov soon after and sold his people out, taking a personal hand in helping annihilate the dusk elves and conquering their land. Barov was so impressed by the man's loyalty that he adopted him as his son.

Part of this was done to make a connection as to why the hell Rahadin just absolutely fuckin' hates Patrina so much (since that definitely got played up during the campaign). When thinking of Rahadin's motivations, I tried to come at it from the angle that this man was evil... but legitimately cared deeply about Strahd, Sergei, and Tatyana. He was devestated from the events of the wedding, but saw Strahd's return as a second chance. As the lone surviving witness from the wedding, he desperately wanted to help the three of them. But his own blind loyalty to Strahd and his broken moral compass prevented him from doing so.

One of my favorite little additions was a sidequest I offered to the players (they wanted to redeem Rahadin). They were requested by him to retrieve (well, "not destroy or sell") one of his most precious belongings in his office. When they get there... it turns out it's a birthday card and a worn-out old amulet from Sergei and Tatyana that he's kept after all these years. They got Ireena to read the letter to him, to help him keep going after Strahd's death.

anyway i could ramble on about changes forever but i don't want this post to get too long haha. i have. many feelings. over this campaign. maybe at some point I'll do a separate post with some of the others.

i also kinda wanna do a comic of an event from Rahadin's backstory for my players but we'll see, I might deem it "too stupid."

#palidoozy rambles #curse of strahd #curse of strahd spoilers #cos #cos spoilers #WARNING IT LONG #I HAVE MANY FEELINGS ABOUT THESE THREE CHARACTERS

[draculaurafangz]

swim good / p. parker

a/n: honestly i did not plan on posting anything but i had to get this out of my drafts because, it’s been there for a while. anyways, this was based off of frank ocean’s song “swim good”. if you’ve ever listened to the song then you’d definitely know what i’m getting at with this. also, you guys can imagine the reader to look however you want, it’s not limited to like one specific image.

warnings: there’s like, a whole lotta angst, there’s curses here & there, and mentions of smut (not really but it’s kinda there, if you read you understand. lmao i don’t like writing smut at all.) also peter’s aged up 18 in this story & in college.

─ ─ ─

peter parker was very popular at your school. not only was it because of the fact that the whole entire school knew he was spiderman, but it was because he was known for sleeping around with girls on campus. thinking back on it, peter doesn’t even remember how it happened. one minute he was this nerdy, awkward teenager who always read his comic books and put together star wars lego sets, and here he is now messing around with girls and tugging at their heartstrings.

at first, he was obsessed with the idea of being this chick magnet. he lived with the pride, no matter how many girls he had lead on and given false hope to.

but now, he’s not so sure.

he’s realized he’s caused other girls around the school, and even in queens, a ton of pain. but most importantly, he had hurt you a great deal. to the point where you had left voicemails, telling him you wished you’d never see him again, and that you regret anything you ever did with him.

peter doesn’t regret it, he actually felt some sort of feeling towards you. out of all the other friday night hookups, you were different. your aura and your presence was just unmatched to those other girls. of course, you cursed yourself for ever sleeping with him because you knew about his reputation. but when you know you had the opportunity you had to take it. you thought you would be able to convince him and change his mind, but it was no use.

so here peter is on a friday night, sitting in his room all by himself, no hookup present. he missed you. god, he missed you so fucking much. he knew you wouldn’t talk to him if he just messaged you or even left a voicemail. he couldn’t bring himself to even think about the last conversation the two of you had because he hated seeing your face. you were broken and in pain. tears streaming down your face as your voice boomed within the room. saying that he was an asshole, and you thought you could actually change him but there was no point in changing him.

little did you know, you did change peter. you changed him a lot, to the point where you caused him to think about his past. there were some girls that honestly treated his hookups the way they were, and some actually cared but soon after got over it. then there were some like you who had been extremely heartbroken. peter never really paid attention to them though because they always made it their mission to ignore him.

it’s not that you didn’t ignore peter, because you did. you just didn’t talk to him at random anymore. he was in a couple of your classes, and would sometimes ask for notes. but other times, he’d just bump into you on campus. so yeah, you were ignoring him. with no intention of talking to him.

he felt so much pain over the past couple of days, thinking about he hurt other girls, thinking about how he hurt you. he cannot stop thinking about you, at this point he’s in love with you. he’s so guilt-ridden that even ned notices something is off with him.

“are you sure you’re okay? you just haven’t been yourself lately,” ned questioned just noticing that his friend seemed to always be disturbed.

“it’s nothing ned,” is what he’d usually respond with “i’m just stressed with my classes right now.”

ned shook his head understandingly. he knew that college for sure was hard on him and couldn’t even imagine how hard it was on peter. peter never told ned about everything, ned was three states away from peter. there was nothing ned could do to fix this, as peter realized he needed to fix everything himself.

his professors even noticed it. some of them even had to speak with him after class letting him know his grade was in great jeopardy. when they asked if everything okay, peter just explained that he had been off recently. he assured them that he’d be back on track soon, and get on top of his academics as well. after speaking with his physics professor he had headed towards your dorm. he never actually went to visit you at your dorm so he had no clue what room was yours. he’d remember swinging by your window, but never got an exact numbered door. when he walked into the main lobby, he asked some random girl if she knew who you were or where your dorm was. luckily for him, he actually bumped into your roomate, but your roomate refused to talk to him.

“i know who you are, and i think you should go,” she coldly spoke.

he pleaded with her and he promised he would make everything right with you if he could actually see you and get the chance to talk to you. after hearing his long ramble about his overdue apology, your roomate caved him and gave him your room number.

he felt anxiety rushing throughout his entire body as he looked through the hallways of numbered doors and finally spotted yours. he took a deep breath before knocking, reminding himself that he was going to be okay, this was going to be okay.

you opened the door and immediately slammed it in his face. behind the door, your eyes went wide and you bit your bottom lip as you thought about opening the door again. what could he have possibly wanted? what was he doing here? had he been stalking you? how the fuck did he find you room? your mind went back to the main question: what does he want and why is he here?

you turned around again facing your door and wiped your sweaty palms against your sweatpants. opening your door, you made a joke about how it was too early for a booty call. peter’s face remained straight seeming to just be unamused with the joke. you then asked what he had wanted. how this was all unlike him and how he truly he doesn’t chase but rather attract.

“y/n, just please hear me out. give me five minutes, two minutes even. i just need to talk to you,” he started.

you gulped, the big lump in your throat returning as you whispered a “come in” to him.

he sat on the edge of your bed as you stood in the middle of your room. your arms were crossed and you had a blank look on your face.

“i- i just wanted to say i’m sorry,” he stuttered, “i regret ever hurting you, y/n. i think back about how i ruined everything between us daily. usually i don’t let feelings get in the way of this but holy shit i cannot even deny them anymore. and that’s why i came here. i know i’ve given you so much stress lately and i truly apologize. i know i hurt you at night and i can’t even sleep sometimes knowing that i hurt you. i need to make things right. i’m not asking for anything major, i just want to be on good terms again with you,” he finished, averting his eyes away from yours.

you took his words in, thinking them over as you stared back at his features. you didn’t hate him, as a matter of fact you were head over heels in love with him. but you couldn’t do it. you could not be in a relationship right now, but you weren’t going to just dismiss the way he wanted to mend things between the two of you.

the two of you sat in silence for another minute as you collected your thoughts, him waiting patiently for you. you walked over to him and just hugged him. you already felt tears well up in your eyes but did not want them to spill. peter at this point was full on crying. this was the closure you both needed. you whispered in his ear how you don’t want a relationship right now, but he understood because he didn’t know if he was able to take on one by himself right now. as the two of you pulled apart, you wiped your eyes as you gave peter time to collect himself.

“i’m down to fix things. i love you a lot pete but we need to work on ourselves and our own dynamic before we even think about jumping into that whole relationship stage,” you said.

“and i’m totally okay with that. i can deal with that. i was just scared of losing you,” his eyes glossed over again as he said that. new tears were forming in his eyes.

you’d never thought you’d see the day where peter parker was actually showing some emotion. he seemed like the type to be emotionless after you had your experience with him.

it was going to take a while to heal, but you both had each other so there was no fear. peter was going to be more open and honest with his feelings. he was sorry, he was taking the accountability he should’ve taken a long time ago. he had you to thank for that.

i’m goin off (oh, my pretty love)

don’t try stopping me

i’m goin off (throw me in a line)

don’t try saving (you broke my heart)

no flares (you broke my heart)

no vest (you drove my love)

and no fear

waves are washin’ me out.

#peter parker imagine #peter parker x reader #tom holland imagine #peter parker angst

[elkian]

I was gonna do a “missing the point”-style meme but I’m honestly not sure that would even work tho so:

Harry Potter and My Hero Academia/Boku no Hero Academia have similar issues with introducing and then immediately ignoring ENORMOUS issues re: ableism.

I think these two series in specific come to mind bc it’s ableism within a specific empowered community, and in both cases the series are pretty well-known and the community (Wix/Heroes) are immediately identifiable to many audiences.

[WARNING: Discussions of ableism, child harm, and abuse on multiple levels.]

What’s the problem?

SQUIBS.

[This post got stupid huge SO here is a tl,dr for all you lovely people who understandably have no time for this.

TL, DR: Both Harry Potter and Boku No Hero have a bad tendency to implement or imply a level of disability regarding unempowered people in empowered societies. They then continue on to completely disregard important conclusions to these implications, such as how heavily it is implied that these unempowered people (Squibs) are so ‘worthless’ to those societies that their very deaths are merely a byline rather than an actual tragedy.

This is especially troubling in MHA/BNHA when so many other political and worldbuilding considerations HAVE been planned out, and seems to be less-discussed in the fandom as a whole, so that’s a much larger chunk of this post.]

That’s your tl, dr!

Here’s the Harry Potter angle:

HP has a bit that I’ve seen people discussing already: Neville’s magic was discovered when his uncle dropped a literal child a potenial lethal distance. 

Neville activating his power and surviving is celebrated, and then JKR immediately glosses over the glaring issue this has introduced: the heavy implication that a Squib dying from this incident would have not have been mourned or even really commented on.

The few adult Squibs (and isn’t that a whole new slice of wonderful /j) are generally disliked and ridiculed for some reason or other. Now, while obviously there are plenty of places where the Venn diagram of “disabled” and “asshole” intersect irl, when your ONLY presentation of a disabled character or group is, every time, an asshole or a fool or both, boy! That’s bad!

Neville (who is generally presented as magically, physically, and mentally weak and often treated as comic relief) is a bit better via the POV Character constantly having positive interactions with him, but this is still a mess. Yes, Neville canonically is not a Squib, but it’s not subtle that he’s on the cusp OF being a Squib, and that is a key element of ridiculing him in many situations (also the whole trauma thing multiple times, like if I really get into it I could do a whole double-size post of how Neville was done dirty or nearly dirty by JK all the time but this isn’t that post).

This isn’t even the point of this post. Let’s move to MHA/BNHA

Hero Academia has differing but honestly even worse issues. And I’m aware that different countries handle ableism and accessibility in different ways, but if you think too hard about it this is an absolute clusterfuck.

What is the problem now?

Squibs! Or rather, the main character of the series, Midoriya Izuku.

Deku (a nickname meaning “useless”! Imparted after his disability is recognized! hilarity!!) is also born without powers. Even worse in some ways, he is born without powers in a world where the overwhelming majority of the global population has some kind of empowerment. I can’t recall if it’s outright stated or only implied that someone with a functionally useless (and hoo boy, usefullness to society is its own post nope not today i do not have that much energy) Quirk is still more of a person than a Quirkless human.

That sink in? Okay, let’s move on.

In a narratively not-uncommon turn of events, Deku gains power. This is partially a product of, and directly tied to, his own work and determination, as well as his willingness to help even when physically outmatched.

To an American audience (NOT the intended audience though I wouldn’t doubt it if Horikoshi meant to have international appeal more or less from the start), this is a deeply satisfying narrative. Who doesn’t love an underdog story? And we even learn that the strongest hero of all time (til this point, anyways) was ALSO born Quirkless!

However, from here, things take a nosedive.

The key problem is a combination of story progression and overall thought put into worldbuilding. Horikoshi’s efforts may not be the MOST thorough, but he has put a great deal of work and thought into his creation (he at least understands the concept of implications and sometimes plans accordingly, looking at you JKR). However, that tied with story progression and personal repercussions actually works to the detriment of the matter.

Especially given recent turns of events.

 [BIG MEGA SPOILERS FOR FAIRLY RECENT PLOT

 STOP HERE IF YOU’RE NOT CAUGHT UP

 SERIOUSLY]

 What I mean by this is the current state of events re: two particular recent/recent-ish plot arcs.

First, Quirk Removal, and second, Endeavor’s comeuppance.

Quirk Removal/Loss was the start of my realization to what the narrative was doing regarding Izuku’s Quirklessness and the state of being overall.

This arc was a perfect time to bring up Midoriya’s past! A lot of Western works certainly would have done so! And yes, it may be bordering on done-to-death, but many elements of Hero Academia put new twists on common themes and cliches; it wasn’t unreasonable to hope that he might do it again.

Instead, little to NOTHING is discussed during this time! In fact, iirc I’d go so far as to say Midoriya straight-up never considers his past at any point during this arc!? If I’m wrong then it obviously made little impact.

NOW, not every disabled character needs to incorporate their disability and/or skills gleaned from living with it in every narrative. In fact, it would get tedious and questionable if they did (note: this does NOT mean ignoring/forgetting the character is even disabled when convenient. Like, I’d like to think that’s the obvious point of this post but... *gestures at tumblr*). 

But the complete lack of it here feels really weird. Like, almost hollow. I think Midoriya makes some kind of suggestion to Mirio of his former Quirklessness at the end of the arc, but nothing that made any kind of impact.

Let’s move on.

Endeavor.

Now, the problem with Endeavor’s arc is not the arc itself. Or, rather, it’s the fact that Endeavor’s Comeuppance is pretty good.

This is a problem because someone else should be getting this exact same arc, yet the issue is never even RECOGNIZED, let alone addressed.

Endeavor’s abuse of his wife and children, all in the name of creating a Heroic legacy, is publicized and tanks his popularity. The general public is now aware of what he’s done to the people closest to him, which aside from giving him a more correct reputation, means they can’t trust him to protect them if they can’t trust him to protect his own family.

This isn’t the goal of this post and I’m no expert regardless, but up to this point (around chapter 290) this was handled in an interesting way. Endeavor is humanized and often shown interacting with people in a way that, while often domineering, isn’t always aggressive or abusive. He runs a Hero Agency for crying out loud! But abuse in the real world often isn’t constant, nor happening to everyone in contact with the abuser. So this is a surprisingly good lead up to the reveal, where you can understand how most people never realized this was an issue.

But here’s my main point. Let’s examine some traits and actions that come up:

physically abusive to a child (often dangerously so) to the point of permanent trauma and severe scarring in some cases

target of abuse was weaker (physically and/or regarding Quirk power)

often abused victim emotionally/psychologically, bringing this weakness up again and again

own immense power led to rising in the world of Heroics

comrades, fellow Heroes, UA teachers etc. not aware of prior abuse issues

Who does this sound like?

Endeavor, who has a whole fucking arc dedicated to this reveal and repercussions?

Or Bakugou?

Reminder: This isn’t a hate post. This isn’t a character post, or even an abuse post. This is about ableism.

Bakugou exhibits many, many traits and actions that Endeavor was literally just punished for. So why does the treatment of these characters in-universe differ so drastically?

Two primary reasons I can think of, which feed into each other:

1) Bakugou was a child (still technically is a minor, remember! Still a first-year high schooler!) when this started. This doesn’t mean he’s strictly innocent, but it’s an important point, because it leads us to

2) Bakugou Katsuki’s abuse of Midoriya Izuku is socially accepted.

Reminder of the audience’s first encounter with Katsuki. The very first page with him is him and his grade-school posse picking on a kid that Izuku is trying to protect. His posse is showing off their Quirk powers and mocking Izuku’s lack thereof.

Then we flash forward to late-middle school versions of the kids. Bakugou, in front of a fucking teacher and entire class, is verbally, physically, etc. abusive to Izuku. He trashes his stuff, threatens him, tells him to kill himself (which, as Izuku notes later, is a fucking felony in Japan too).

No one stops him.

No one criticizes him.

We don’t even get a shot of like, some more ‘regular’ students being like “man Bakugou’s kinda fucked up but we’re too scared to do anything about it” NO. NO. Everyone more or less either backs Katsuki up or straight up doesn’t care.

Remember that this started when Katsuki and Izuku were four. Remember that Katsuki’s power is absurdly dangerous, ie. LITERAL. GODDAMN. EXPLOSIONS.

Izuku has scars. He probably has hearing loss! He may have gotten at least one concussion which can cause serious neurological issues and open him up to further risk!

He could have died.

And?

NO ONE. DOES. ANYTHING.

THIS is the point of the post. THIS is the value placed on Quirkless people in this society.

And yet. Despite Endeavor’s comeuppance. Despite All Might and Izuku’s blatant ‘value’ to society through Heroics. Despite so many other political implications and quandaries address in the Hero Academia series.

Nothing. Nothing. Nothing about this is addressed. The nearly-lethal ableism towards Quirkless people in this society is never ONCE brought up properly once Izuku receives One For All.

There is so much potential here! There is so much worth talking about! And yet we’ve moved into what feels very much like the Final Battle without it being addessed, despite numerous, numerous opportunities for a meaningful conversation about it along the way.

Mirio losing his power! Hell, Mirio’s powers’ drawbacks (and pretty much every Quirk’s drawback! if acknowledged properly!) border on a disability-analogue, and even more when Yuga’s laser comes up, and yet again and again we fail to truly engage with the matter in a meaningful way.

At this point, even if it comes up in the finale, I’m going to be disappointed in this particular aspect of the series due to the complete and total shut-down it’s been given so far.

What the FUCK, Horikoshi?

#elk text #24th #February #2021 #February 24th 2021 #I hope the bold helps with reading #long post warn #elk has thoughts #sorry for the ramble #Ableism #other shit comes up but plz keep in mind that that is the PRIMARY POINT OF THIS #also: #child abuse warn #abuse warn #harry potter spoilers warn #boku no hero spoilers #like REAL BIG spoilers for later Hero Academia stuff! #this is not a character hate post and i will block judiciously #elk has feelings

[st4rlings]

The Black Widow movie...

I absolutely loved the first fifteen minutes. They were just beautiful.

The rest however… *heavy sigh*

Don’t get me wrong. I wanted to love the film as a whole and without reservations. I do love some parts of the film. There are many fantastic aspects to it. I love Natasha. I love Yelena. I love Melina. Some of the shots were very pretty. The set-design was great. I love we (kinda) found out what happened in Budapest. I love how many female characters there are in this movie, and some of the fight scenes were a lot of fun.

I’ve waited for a Black Movie film since at the very least 2013. And when I saw the first few minutes I was all “nothing that will happen can take this glorious opening away again.” 😭

Unfortunately it feels as though the original creative vision as it is presented in the first quarter of an hour was watered down by concessions to the Marvel action formula, i.e. unnecessary comic relief and even more unnecessary, dragged-out action sequences like the rooftop/car chase and the prison break/freak avalanche and then the never-ending showdown as the Red Room (HQ) explodes.

I’m not against action scenes. Actually, I love action scenes. But either in moderation, or they have to contribute something to the plot, otherwise they’re just redundant and, well, boring. We already got a few minutes of Natasha and Yelena fighting when the Black Widows show up and the fight goes on, and then “Taskmaster” shows up again, and at this point I was already getting tired of it. Like, we know the characters won’t die and they’re not fighting against characters they have any sort of personal connection with or even just antagonists with an agenda – so why should we care?

I wanted the film to be utterly heart-wrenching, but they never let us feel that after the intro. Like, the fact they gloss over all the extreme violence of the Black Widow training by using a miracle chemical as a plot device to explain why they’re all mind-controlled – that felt oddly sanitized to me. And it’s basically all we get to know about the current Black Widow programme.

“Taskmaster”, or rather Taskmistress seems like she only is another diversion. At first she’s mostly gimmicky with the copy cat behaviour. And then we’re supposed to feel something about the reveal that she is a cyborg-version of the girl Natasha sacrificed to get to Dreykov. But that particular subplot was so underdeveloped that I found it difficult to care. Especially since Taskmistress never gets to be anything but another murder doll and the person Antonia never makes an appearance.

I’ve seen people draw comparisons with CA:TWS, and one of the more interesting aspects of that movie was much of the story revolved around Bucky breaking out of the mind control through his connection to Steve. I would have loved to see any form of self-awareness from Antonia, or get a bit of backstory on her character, instead of, well, avalanches and explosions. In the end her whole story line only existed to create a bit of a half-baked redemption arc for Natasha.

The real villain was supposed to be Dreykov anyway, but… again, TWS-comparison: when Alexander Pierce and the STRIKE team were revealed to be the modern, sleeker version of HYDRA, it was easy to connect them to the larger story arc and fill in the gaps. (Obviously, since then we got a ton of excellent fiction about them, so that probably colours my judgement quite a bit.)

The Red Room however was barely mentioned in the MCU before. (There’s a flashback in one of the movies… the first Avengers film?) And then, in Black Widow, a movie that should be explicitly about this topic, all we get is a music video and another flying headquarters to fall out of the sky? (Also gets a bit old tbh.)

I mean – what exactly are the motives behind the Black Widow programme. The cold war is long over in ‘95. What are they doing apart from kidnapping girls and turning them into murder dolls? Why are they doing it? What’s the goal? What’s the ideology?

All we get for an answer is Dreykov is the mastermind of it all and he’s a power hungry sociopath and he also used to be a general at some point.

Which is a bit ???

I fucking love Ray Winston, and I would have loved to hate Dreykov or hated to love him or however it goes with villains, but instead I felt nothing. Because the film didn’t give me anything to love or hate.

He barely made an appearance before the end of the film by which you were already expected to hate him. But we were never shown a reason why we should hate him. (Unless you count him killing one of the Widows after she became useless to him – but since neither Yelena nor Natasha were emotionally attached to her that didn’t leave much of an impact.) We were mostly told to. In the credits montage. In conversations between Natasha and Yelena. In conversations between Natasha and Melina.

Perhaps it’s too much to ask but I really, really wanted to know more about Natasha’s backstory and the film skirted around that A LOT. Maybe they thought it’d be too exploitative, idk. But when it comes to character development and plot, we’ve got more reasons to hate Alexei and Melina for betraying Natasha and Yelena than we have reasons to hate Dreykov. Which is not ideal.

Oh, and last but not least, probably my biggest pet peeve with the film: I don’t get why they chose to replace the Ohio-version of Alexei (competent, serious, tough, and from the looks of it a caring father and husband) with sad clown!Red Guardian making sexist jokes and being essentially useless. Also, why give them all a funny Russian accent when they used to be apparently quite proficient in English?

The comic relief ruins so much of the wonderful atmosphere the movie built in the beginning. Whyyy?

In the end it boils down to the problem I have with almost all action movies: the actual plot and character development is cut short to make room for gratuitous chases and shoot-outs and things exploding. And I’ll have to rely on fanfic writers to answer my burning questions and spin gold from straw again and makes sense of all the loose ends and underdeveloped ideas and… I can’t really complain about that, but then I feel Marvel could do a lot better...

#black widow #this is me complaining #don't read if that bothers you #why can't i ever just like something? #fanfic will fix it #BUT #i had so many hopes for this #and the film had so much potential #:/ #the eternal disappointment that are marvel movies #well #i guess i'm just not the target audience

[thepurplebutterflythings]

Kitty Cat & Tweety Bird (Part 9) - Jason Todd

Gif: Unknown on Tenor

Word Count: 3.7K

Paring: Jason Todd (Titans) x (f)Reader

Summary: While looking for Y/N, Harley feels responsible for The Joker kidnapping her beloved niece. As Joker and Y/N are face to face, The Joker wonders why he didn’t know about Y/N beforehand, especially considering he and Bruce are ‘connected’.

Warnings: Mentions of Abuse.

A/N: This is a little series I am doing about Jason Todd in Titans. I don’t know Comic!Jason very well so I’m taking all of this from the show, and at the moment he hasn’t been in very often, so please forgive any mischaracterizations.

Tagging: @bella-0104-123 @ninergirl1d @httpfandxms @rosybrock @attackonnat @reclusive-chicken-nugget   @demoiselle-en-detresse00 @young-psychos @thesleepykaijuu @thescottpack @nightlygiggles @rougestorms @sinon36​ @loxbbg​

Kitty Cat & Tweety Bird Part 8  | Masterlist |

________________________________________________________________

“Well, well, well.”

Y/N stirred with discomfort at the voice, low and gravely and gave the same effect of nails being dragged down a chalkboard with teeth on edge and bones wanting to escape the flesh prison as the noise drilled through them. It sounded as though they always had something in their throat they were trying to cough up, but could never rid themselves of. When she opened her eyes, Y/N looked around her and realised that she was tied up and being hung from the ceiling above her by chains. She was still dazed and so wasn’t fully aware, but when she looked below, she snapped out of it, for she was being hung carelessly above a vat of green, bubbling chemicals that glowed in the darkened room. The voice from before laughed manically, and Y/N looked around to see where the sound came from. As she looked, she gathered more about her surroundings, realising she was in Ace Chemicals. Footsteps echoed as the owner walked on the gantry above the chemicals, and Y/N saw her capture. The Joker.

Despite her Aunt Harley once being in a relationship (if you could even call it that) with the mad man, Y/N had never met him. He wasn’t even supposed to know she existed as Harley was frightened the man would harm her.

“You!” Y/N seethed.

“Ah! So you’ve heard of me,” Joker crouched down. There was still a distance between them, perhaps three or four metres. “That’s… interesting, for you see it wasn’t until earlier that I heard of you, Miss Wayne! You’re daddy and I… we’re connected so you would have thought I should know about you, but alas I did not.”

“You’re supposed to be in Arkham,” Y/N said, “how’d you get out? Why isn’t any news you’re out?”

“Smart little Bat Pup, aren’t you, Y/N,” Joker wagged his finger as he pulled a pocket watch out of his purple coat pocket and looked at it, “They should be finding out right about… now!” Just as the Joker said ‘Now,’ the siren from Arkham that signified a break out rang loudly through the air. “But that doesn’t mean they’ll catch me.”

“Why are you doing this?” She asked as she shifted in the chains, trying to loosen herself.

“Because,” Joker just shrugged, “To get at Bruce, I need to get to the one thing he loves and cares about more than anything – family.”

________________________________________________________________

The group, upon realizing that Joker had kidnapped Y/N, all suited up and went to search Gotham to find where he was holding her, reluctantly revealing to Harley and Ivy who it was beneath the mask of Batman. Neither were totally surprised, to be honest, and there were bigger things to worry about than Bruce Wayne being Batman. After Harley and Ivy got their protective gear on, they stopped at Wayne Manor were Jason and Bruce suited up, and then they went to Selina’s who pulled her Catwoman suit on. Alfred monitored their search for Y/N from the Batcave while Ivy and Selina went one way, Harley and Bruce went another and Jason went separately.

As Harley and Bruce finished searching yet another warehouse in Joker’s name, Harley fell against the wall and slowly ended up on the ground, sitting with her knees pulled to her chest. Bruce turned around and saw the woman curled in upon herself and frowned, walking up to her.

“Harleen?” Bruce said gently, “What’s wrong?”

“I kinda feel like all ‘a this is my fault,” she muttered as she ran her fingers over her knee.

“What makes you think that?” Bruce asked, sitting next to her to comfort her. Harley sniffed a little and turned her head to look at Bruce. She was holding back tears and her bottom lip, painted a brilliant shade of red that reflected the lights back from its gloss, quivered like a leaf.

“I had a chance to kill him,” Harley explained, “I coulda killed Joker, but I didn’t, and now he’s kidnapped a girl that I love and care for like me own.”

“What?”

“I left Joker when Y/N was ten,” She began, “Not many people know this, only Y/N, Selina and Ivy, but Joker… he used ta hurt me, hurt me bad, physically and mentally,” Harley confessed, “I know, I know, that’s what I get for dating a villain like Joker,” she sighed.

“God no,” Bruce said, “no, no, no, you never deserve anything that he did to you, ever, regardless of him being a villain, regardless of what you’ve done. You should never have been abused by him.”

“Thank you, Bruce,” Harley smiled tightly, “The night I decided I was gonna leave, he hurt me worse than he ever had before and I ran to Selina’s. She patched me up, and Y/N came out her bedroom, all in her jammies and everything – they were Batman one – and she saw me bleeding on the sofa and asked what happened. Well, at this point, Y/N/N just found out her mama was a thief, and her aunties were a criminal lunatic and an eco-terrorist, so there wasn’t much we could hide from her. She pretty much put two and two together , and that’s when she started wanting to be a vigilante, to take people like Joker and Penguin down. I decided then I had ta leave” Harley sighed and pushed her hair back. “Selina and I went back to Jokers, Selina as Catwoman, obviously, and we got my things, and Joker tried and stopped me, said he could be without me, he threw Selina off the stairs and tried ta grab me, so I grabbed my mallet and I started hitting him again and again and again. Selina stopped me cause Joker had called his henchmen and we didn’t have a chance to finish the job cause we didn’t have a gun, so we had to go. I shoulda stayed, I shoulda finished the fucking job, but then Selina said how upset Y/N would be if I did go through with it, saying 'Babes will be heartbroken'. She said it like that so Joker wouldn't know. And she was right, just thinking about Y/N finding out about what I was bout to do – it killed me. Y/N/N… she knows we were villains, that we’ve done bad things, that we have killed before, but this was different, cause me killing him would mean Joker’s men would kill me. That would break her heart, so I didn’t, and we left, went back to Selina’s. But I shoulda done it, I shoulda killed the bastard, gone down in fucking flames with him, cause if I did then he wouldn’t have taken Y/N.”

“Hey,” Bruce said, putting a hand on Harley’s shoulders, “you aren’t to blame here. The only one responsible for Joker’s actions is Joker. And Y/N had a much better and happier life with Selina, Ivy and you raising her.”

“Really?” Harley looked at Bruce and wiped her eyes.

“She’s incredible, and that’s partly because of you.”

“Thank you, Brucie,” Harley said kissing Bruce’s cheek, “you’re a doll, now, let’s go kick my ex’s ass!”

________________________________________________________________

Y/N watched from her spot above the chemical tank as Joker paced up and down the gantry. He seemed befuddled, gnawing on his thumb and occasionally huffing and pointing at Y/N before carrying on pacing.

“Explain to me, Ms Y/N Wayne,” Joker finally said, “why your father kept you from me, me, me of all people,” he gestured to himself and threw his arms in the air, seething and spitting as he worked himself up.

“I’m not the person to talk to about this, Joker,” Y/N huffed and turned her head away.

“Well, who else is there to ask?”

“My parents come to mind.”

“Do you know what it feels like?” Joker asked, “the chemicals?”

“No, and don’t really want to – let’s go back to bitching about my dad, can we?”

“Uh, uh, uh,” Joker tutted, “let’s go and talk about the chemicals, cause if dear old daddy can’t rescue you, then you’ll be plopped into a nice green bath of acid, how’s that sound?”

“Like dinner with The Mad Hatter sounds a lot more pleasant.”

“Oh, he’s a nightmare to spend ten minutes with really, Ms Y/N Wayne.”

“Please stop calling me that,” she sighed.

“It is your name though, Ms Y/N Wayne,” Joker said, “Anyway, back to the chemicals. It crawls under your skin and makes it feel as though every vein is on fire, that your skin is pulling itself from your bone and even when cleaned, you feel as though you are still coated in the substance, it’s… horrendous, never-ending torture. How does that sound, Ms Y/N Wayne?”

“Like high school, really.”

“And what kinda high school did your mama send you to?”

________________________________________________________________

Jason adjusted his Robin mask as he landed on the car roof. This was the last place on his list, Ace Chemicals. Bruce wasn’t sure if Joker would ever return there after the previous two times he was there and how bad those turned out, but Joker was a creature of habit, so it made sense to check. If Y/N wasn’t there, he had no idea where else she could be. Slowly, Jason crept up the ladder outside the building to the top, peering through the window. There she was, Y/N, tied up in chains and dangling over the vat of chemicals like a fish on a hook while Joker paced up and down and ranted as he did. Pulling his phone from his pocket, Jason called Bruce.

“Jason? You found her?”

“Yeah, Ace Chemicals, come quick,” Jason said.

“On my way, I’ll contact Selina. Don’t do anything stupid.”

“I’m not planning on doing anything that would put Y/N in danger, Bruce,” Jason said before hanging up. He climbed back down and walked around the perimeter of the building, finding a door and opening it quietly. There was no one down there. It appears that Joker got so caught up in his plan to kidnap Y/N that he didn’t contact any of his men to watch the surroundings. Jason quickly walked away from the door and back to the car, opening it and checking, seeing the keys were still in there. He took the bag he had on his shoulder off and put it in the car, on the passenger side, then he walked into the building and slowly walked up the stairs, listening as he did.

“And here is the thing that bothers me the most, Ms Y/N Wayne,” Joker ranted on and on, “that I didn’t sense you,” he said, “after all your father and I have gone through, I should have sensed you – the daughter of Bruce Wayne, of Batman – but I didn’t, why?”

“Cause you’re not a fucking psychic,” Y/N groaned, “cause you’re a delusional lunatic.”

Jason bit back a chuckle. Only Y/N would be tied up over chemicals, her life in danger, kidnapped by The Joker, and still remain level headed and calm if a little irritated and bored. Jason tried to step forward, but something creaked beneath him.

“Wait,” Joker lifted a finger, “we aren’t alone here. Come out then, our unknown audience.” Jason gulped and walked out from his hiding place. His eyes moved from Joker to Y/N. Y/N was biting back her smile of relief of seeing Jason as Robin. Thank god someone was there to rescue her. “And Bruce didn’t even come himself to rescue his beloved offspring?” Joker tutted as he wagged his finger in disappointment. “But his pet bird instead? What does that say about the man?”

“We’ve all been out searching for her,” Jason said, keeping his eyes on Y/N.

“We?” Joker frowned, “Not just The Bat?”

“No,” Jason shook his head, “me, her father, her mother, and her aunts.”

“Mother? Aunts?”

“Oh, please tell me you aren’t that stupid,” Y/N said, moving her eyes to Joker. “You know it takes two people to make a child?”

“Of course I do,” Joker snapped, “her mother?”

“Oh my god,” Jason said, “you idiot. You don’t know who her mother is, do you?”

“Who is her mother?” The Joker asked, “and aunts? She has aunts?”

“Wow,” Y/N started laughing from her trapped place, “this is brilliant, oh my god, you have no idea what’s going to happen next. Fucking hell. Talk about karma being a bitch.”

“Someone explain to me what is going on!”

“Not only is Batman her father,” Jason said, almost laughing, while Y/N was howling with glee as she realised Joker had just trapped himself in his own trap. How brilliant. “Her mother is Catwoman, and her aunts are Catwoman’s friends – The Gotham City Sirens.”

Y/N and Jason didn’t let their faces reveal that behind the Joker the window had opened, and Harley Quinn and Poison Ivy had both snuck and were quietly behind the Joker, waiting for the right moment.

“What?” The smile on Joker’s face dropped for a second, “The Sirens?”

“Which means, dumbass, that your ex-girlfriend, and her new beau, both helped in raise Y/N,” Jason said, “meaning not only Batman is on the way, but Catwoman, Poison Ivy, and Harley Quinn are also coming here.”

“Seriously, mate,” Y/N laughed, “if there was an Olympics for bad luck, you’ve got Gold, not only that, but you fucking smashed the world record.”

“Uh oh,” Joker said.

“Uh oh is right there, puddin’,” Harley said from behind Joker, baseball bat in hand. She swung it hard and hit Joker in the side of the head. Joker yelped loudly and stumbled back. Bruce and Selina, still in costume, appeared from where Jason walked out of. Ivy then punched Joker in the gut while Bruce went for his face. Selina kicked the Joker in the chest. All the adults started beating the Joker as Brue turned to Jason and yelled.

“Robin, get Y/N and get out of here.”

“On it,” Jason yelled back with a nod as he climbed onto the railing and carefully, quickly, moved past the fight and to the other side where the chain holding Y/N was linked up. Jason grabbed it and looked at Y/N, “Ready?”

“Fuck yes,” she nodded as Jason unhooked the chain and started pulling, lifting Y/N higher and higher. As she started moving, she shifted to loosen herself, and once her hands were free from the chain, she grabbed it and shifted her, so her body was then free, still keeping a firm grip. When Jason pulled Y/N high enough, she started swinging, throwing herself forward and flying into Jason’s arms. They crashed onto the floor. Y/N pulled back and looked into Jason’s eyes.

“Didn’t know felines could fly, Kitty Cat,” Jason chuckled.

“Learnt from the best, Tweety Bird.”

They got to their feet, and Jason grabbed her hand, throwing a look at the group before running. He dragged her down the stairs and out of the building. They both ran so fast that they were nearly tripping over their feet, looking over their shoulders constantly as they did. When they had finally reached the car, they stopped, but Y/N pulled away from Jason for a moment, gasping for air and looking behind her as she did.

“What is it?” Jason asked as he opened the door.

“We can’t just leave,” Y/N said, “we can’t leave them, we have to go back, we have to help. Did you bring my suit?”

“Bruce told me to get you out of here,” Jason said, “I’m doing what he told me to.”

“Jason, I know you,” Y/N folded her arms, “where’s my Lynx suit?”

“No, we’re going back to Wayne Manor, and they’ll meet us back there.”

“Jason, where is my suit?”

“No.”

Y/N sighed and walked forward, arms still folded. She leant against the car, next to Jason, and lifted her eyebrows.

“Where is my suit, Jason?”

Jason sighed and groaned, rolling his head back before ducking into the car and grabbing the bag he put on the passenger seat, pulling it out and handing it into Y/N.

“You’re explaining this to your father.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” she rolled her eyes as she climbed into the backseat and started changing, “now, no looking.”

“Now all I wanna do is look,” Jason huffed.

“Tell you what,” Y/N teased, “you can watch me get undressed after all, this is over.”

“I’ll hold you to that.”

________________________________________________________________

It was as though the adults were all taking turns in beating the Joker, but he was fighting back, not going down easy. If Batman wasn’t there, then the Sirens would have easily killed him by then, but Bruce was adamant to return the lunatic to Arkham.

“My daughter is not a pawn for your fucking games,” Selina hissed as she scratched his cheek, nearly reaching his eye but just missing, “come after her again and it’ll be the last thing you ever do.”

“I shoulda killed ya way back when, ya cunt,” Harley kicked him in the back, causing him to fall to the floor.

“You’re lucky I let you breath clean air,” Ivy yelled as she slapped him.

“My child,” Bruce picked Joker up by the collar of his jacket and leaned into his face, “has nothing to do with me and you. Leave her be.”

“Or what? MMM? Throw me into the acid? We both know you won’t. We’re connected, you and I, you know it too.”

“You delusional fuck,” Selina pulled Joker from Bruce and kneed him in the stomach.

“What did I ever see in ya?” Harley threw her arms up, “seriously? How’d I ever think you were a good match for me?”

Joker took this moment and grabbed Selina and dangled her over the edge near the acid where the broken railing was.

“Come any closer, and the cat gets it.”

“Like hell she does,” said a voice. Y/N ran in as Lynx with Robin close behind her. She launched herself at Joker, who pulled Selina from the edge and fell backwards. Y/N punched him in the face. Joker got to his feet and started trying to fight Y/N. Y/N was quick, dodging his slower movements. Jason quickly came to Y/N’s side, and they started to fight against the Joker in sync, when Y/N kicked him towards Jason, Jason would punch him in the face back towards Y/N, falling to the ground, and Y/N would lift her knee, clocking him in the chin, pushing him towards Jason, who would shove him to knock him off balance. The adults all watched them in awe as Jason and Y/N moved in sync with each other, beating the Joker relentlessly. They didn’t even need to intervene, Jason and Y/N had it all under control. Eventually, Y/N grabbed the chains previously used to hold her over the acid and wrap them around Joker’s wrists, letting him balance on the edge over the acid, holding him carelessly by the chain.

“Y/N!” Bruce said out of instinct.

“No one goes after my family,” Y/N growled, “no one.”

“Well, talk about a punch line,” Joker whistled with a laugh, throwing his head back. He recognised the Lynx costume. They still got newspapers in Arkham. “That Bat’s Pup is a Cat after all!”

Y/N looked The Joker dead in the eye. She looked at him coldly as he laughed on a loop. Jason stood behind Y/N, ready to support Y/N in whatever she did, and the adults just watched.

“Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t drop you into the acid and let it finish the job.”

“It didn’t work the first time,” Joker said, “what makes you think it’ll work the second?”

“Cause half the job is already done.”

“Ooo, low blow, Pup-Cat.”

“Y/N, don’t,” Bruce said, “You’re better than this.”

“Am I really, though?” She asked, “And don’t tell me you haven’t thought of it yourself, of letting the bastard die. The world will be a far better place without him.” The Joker pulled a hurt facial expression before laughing again.

“I mean,” Jason coughed, “she’s not wrong. The world would be better without him.”

“Think of how many people he’s killed. This is his retribution.”

“He ain’t got any humanity in him,” Harley said quietly, “it’s something I shoulda done a long time ago, but,” Harley sighed, “Y/N, I don’t want ya to become a killer. Ya Daddy’s right, you’re better than this, than me.”

“And me,” said Selina.

“And I,” Ivy nodded.

“Don’t become a killer like us,” Harley said, “cause it’s a line you can never go back from.”

“Trust me, if I could,” Selina sighed, “I would never have pushed that guy from the window,” she whispered, “even though I had a good reason and was protecting someone else,” her eyes flickered to Bruce, who lowered his eyes as the image of Young Selina shoving Alfred’s army buddy out the window came into his mind.

“Y/N,” Jason put his hand on Y/N’s shoulder, “let’s take him to Arkham.”

Y/N looked Joker in the eye. Everything he did to Harley, nearly killing Selina, dangling herself over the chemicals, the torture he inflicted on her father over the years (it wasn’t a secret, everyone knew about The Joker Versus Batman), and he was going to live. It wasn’t fair, but they were all right, Y/N didn’t want to be a killer, didn’t want to cross that line.

“Fine,” she sighed, but instead of being gentle, Y/N yanked the chain quickly, pulling Joker forward and kneed him in the head with such force it knocked him unconscious.

As The Joker laid unconscious on the floor, Y/N took her mask off and looked at her family.

“You did the right thing,” her mother told her softly.

“I hope so,” Y/N sighed.

“Hey,” Bruce said, brushing the hair from Y/N’s eyes, “I’m proud of you,” he told her with a soft smile.

“Thank you, Dad.”

#Jason Todd #robin jason todd #jason todd robin #jason todd one shot #jason todd x reader #jason todd imagine #jason todd imagines #jason todd oneshot #robin #robin titans #robin titans oneshot #robin titans imagine #robin one shot #robin oneshot #robin imagine #Titans #titans dc #titans fanfiction #jason todd titans #one shot #oneshot #imagine #imagines #fanfiction #fan fiction #fanfic #fan fic #kitty cat & tweety bird

[williamaltman]

Polo. His crime. Feelings.

So, Polo, and him being the killer. My thoughts. I know only a couple of people at best will read this, but, I wanted to write it somewhere. So, whenever I stan characters in TV shows, movies, comics, manga/anime or books who do/have done bad things, I usually: 1 - Stan them for their evilness, ruthlessness, bad morals, how fucked up they are or whatever. 2 - Get mad and dismiss it as OOC if I think it doesn’t really make sense with what was previously established about them. 3 - Gloss it over if it’s something small that I can just ignore it. But with Polo... It just feels different, in a way. I’m upset about him being the killer, yeah, but only when it comes to how he’s probably gonna die in season 3. Or just end up in jail. Or maybe the writers will come up with another crazy super terrible ending, I don’t know. But I’m going towards dying right now... But I’m not actually upset at him being the killer in itself. I don’t think it’s OOC. And I legimately don’t think it makes him a bad person either. I feel nothing but pity, sympathy and empathy for him. Yeah, of course killing is wrong. Of course that if we were to be lawful he deserves to go to jail for it. Duh. But stories are about emotion. About how you connect to the plot, characters, themes. And I connect with Polo so much and maybe that means I’m awful but whatever. Him being the killer is not what made me stan him, but after it happened, it’s not like I started to stan him despite of it. I understood him. I felt sorry for him.  When you look at his personality, he really doesn’t have anything that makes him really bad? Like... He’s not usually violent. He’s not intimidating. He’s not a bully. He’s not an incel. He’s not sexist, racist, homophobic, xenophobic, etc. People keep comparing him to characters like Bryce, Tate, and even with real life serial killers, and like... No? I know those kinds of people would just call me a ~murderer apologist~, ~tumblr murder stan~ or whatever people who love irl killers are called, but that honestly feels ridiculous. Those are the kind of people who don’t even try to understand anything and just go out of their way to like... I don’t know if I should say bully, but, basically, put down others.  Polo is not a serial killer. He killed one person. And it was not planned, it was not premediated. He did it in the heat of the moment, it was an impulsive move that he didn’t know how to react to as soon as he did it. And it’s not like he shot her or stabbed her. He hit her with a trophy. Did she intend to kill her? Maybe for a moment. But I think he just wanted to hurt her. Marina vocalized all of the things that made him insecure, that have been disturbing him since forever, that has been messing with his mind, mistakes, betrayals, things that he feels like he can’t change or fix, and she mocked him for it. Slapped him, threw him on the ground, laughed at his face and told him he was pathetic and pitiable.  On S2, when Ander does the same, he almost does the same too... And, yeah, that is awful. But it’s really just awful for him. Ander wouldn’t have died from a bottle. The one Polo would hurt more is himself, as surely Ander would go and tell the truth, and never want to see him again, and despize him forever. The scene is even shot from Polo’s point of view. It’s not meant as a way to demonize him. It has the whole sound getting messed up and slow motion as if he’s not seeing or hearing things clearly. It shows how he’s out of it in that moment. Thankfully he realizes what he was about to do and stops. And he feels awful for it. Ander tries to help him, but he tells him to go away. He’s horrified by himself. He doesn’t feel like anyone should be around him. Which is why he also says the same to Cayetana later, even though he didn’t have any chance of hurting her in that moment and they hadn’t fought or anything.  “Oh, but he didn’t confess!” Well, if it wasn’t for Carla covering up for him on S1, he would have had no choice but to get caught and say everything. After it has been months and he still got away... I can understand why he wouldn’t want to suddenly just go and lock himself up when there’s a chance that he gets to live his life. Because for him, going to jail is pretty much ending his life. He tells Cayetana that when Carla confesses to the police. Honestly, is it really that awful for a person to not wanna go to jail, even if they did commit a crime? He’s only 16. He talks about how his moms constantly pressure him. He might get a lot of time. And, let’s be honest, I don’t see him surviving in jail... He has severe mental issues, needs medication, can’t handle being alone, and... He couldn’t defend himself. It kinda feels weird for me to say that, like I just shouldn’t for some reason, but, he’d probably be getting raped. So yeah. I don’t think Polo is a bad person. I don’t think he deserves to suffer. And I think that saying that because he killed someone that means he’s an evil psycopath it’s really dumb. I believe in justice regardless for people irl, but, since this is a TV show, I don’t think rooting for a character whom I love that just ended up making the biggest mistake possible is unjustifable.

#Elite #Elite Netflix #Polo #Polo Elite #Polo Benavent

[ancientbooshartifacts]

It's Not a Dirty Word

Author: Glitter_Slut_X

Year: 2009

Rating: NC-17

Pairing: Howince

Thump! Thump!

Howard sat up, disoriented and glanced over at the clock. It read 3:47am. He stilled his breathing for a moment as silence prevailed, then it happened again.

Thump! Thump!

Little squealing noises were coming from the room next to him. Vince's room, he realised, fully adjusted to the dim light after being so rudely jerked out of a deep sleep.

“Ohhh! Yeaaaah, harder harder, oh God!”

Even though nobody was in the room with him, Howard felt his whole face burning with embarrassment. He didn't doubt what was going on in the room next to him. Hell, he'd heard Vince having sex plenty of times before, he'd think he'd be used to it by now, but there was something unsettling about this particular time. Usually it was the girls Vince brought home that would scream and moan their way through the night, the distinct feminine and high-pitched voices would give it away, but this time, the noises that were being elicited from the room across were unmistakably from... a man. And this man was Vince.

Which meant he was the one being fucked.

Which, in turn, meant that the person who was fucking him was another man.

Another throaty groan filled the air, and loud, hard slaps followed a split second after. Howard put a pillow around his head, and over his ears in an effort to drown out the sound. But no avail. Vince was very loud. Howard sighed.

10 minutes later, Vince and his staminate companion were still at it, and by this time, Howard was quickly losing patience. He was so tired, he felt sick and he just knew he would fall asleep in a split second only if those two weren't thumping away next door. It was kinda wrong, but he knew if he wanted to get any sleep, he would have to give them a bit of a talking to.

* *

Okay, so the “talking to” didn't quite go as planned. In fact, if “standing outside Vince's room and listening in” meant giving a “talking to,” which it doesn't, then Howard was doing exactly that. He knew deep down that he felt like the biggest pervert in the world, but he tried dissipate this theory by convincing himself that he was just “waiting for the right opportunity” to tell Vince to keep it down. He pressed his ear harder against the wooden door... all in the name of catching the right opportunity, of course.

“Hold on, swap positions.” He heard Vince's darkened voice say, followed by some rustling and wet, sucking sounds.

“Eh yeahh... just... just a bit harder... can-can you... touch me... no, not there... in my... yeah... now crook your fingers a bit and OH FUCK, I'M COMING!!”

Howard's eyes widened as he heard the filthiest, most perverse words and sounds spill from Vince's mouth, and before he knew it, a cheerful, bobbing erection was jutting out from his pyjama pants. He didn't know if he should be shocked or disgusted by the fact, but before he could stop himself, he had slowly turned the doorknob and peeked through the tiny gap (see, there are some advantages of having small eyes), just in time to see a thin stranger slide his turgid cock inside Vince. The first thrust made Vince pant, the second made him cry out, and on the third, he threw his head back, giving Howard a clear view of his expression; his raven locks glistening with perspiration, red mouth wide open, sultry eyes squeezed shut as he rocked back and forth against the man's penis.

This was wrong.

This was so incredibly wrong.

Here he was, Howard watching his best friend having sex uninvited, and he was getting turned on by it. Yes, he was fucking getting off on it, Vince being fucked hard and thrown around the bed by some faceless stranger. Howard eyes flickered down to Vince's angry-looking, leaking erection and watched in captivation as he jerked himself in tandem with the strangers thrusts.

“Fuck me! I'm not fragile, come on, I love it rough!”

Howard couldn't imagine how Vince could be physically capable of taking it any harder. He'd explored his own lower anatomy before and found one finger up there excruciatingly painful. He couldn't imagine having a 7-8 inch cock up there, let alone it being pleasurable by any means.

Howard's cock was leaking through his pyjama pants now, and he itched to touch himself. He watched as Vince wanked himself frantically, whispering “s'close, s'close.”

Howard was touching himself now, a cool hand down his pyjama pants, wrapping around his hard, aching cock. He resisted the urge to groan in pleasure, so he bit his lip, stifling any sounds.

If Naboo or Bollo were to walk past right now, Howard would have a hell of a lot of explaining to do. And considering the close proximity of their rooms to Vince's, it was a likely scenario.

Oh well, fuck it.

Howard was practically thrusting into his palm now, unconsciously in time with Vince's jerks. He was so close, he could feel the heat spread in waves through his body, rushing toward his groin. Vince came with a silent cry, blue, glistening eyes shooting wide open as a stream of milky cum spurted from his cock and splattered onto his hand and sheets below. Howard clenched his teeth, praying to Mary-mother-of-fucking-God not to make a sound as his balls tightened, and the heat boiled over in his crotch, spurting all over his hand and probably the carpet beneath. As Vince collapsed onto the strangers chest, Howard hurried back to his room and climbed into bed, fighting the urge to cry with shame as Vince's soft snores filled his synapses.

He didn't get back to sleep that night.

* *

Howard's eyes followed the blonde stranger as he leant down and pecked Vince on the lips before striding out of the front door. He made a face as Vince strutted back to the kitchen with the biggest I-got-laid-last-night-and-it-was-fucking-fantastic look on his face, humming along as he buttered a warm croissant.

This was awkward.

Even though Vince was acting like Howard was merely an inanimate object in his presence, Howard still felt embarrassed. His mind whirled with paranoid thoughts. Maybe Vince was deliberately ignoring him because he saw Howard spying on him last night? Nah, he realised after a moment. If Vince did catch him out, he would definitely know about it, and so would the rest of the world.

Vince plonked himself down opposite Howard and started gnawing on his croissant.

“Ma Gooe 'oward, oo 'ould've seen mphfff, mpphhff-”

“For fuck sake, don't speak with your mouth full!”

Vince looked taken back, staring at Howard in shock with his cheeks comically puffed and cream smeared around his mouth. In fact, Howard was a bit taken back aswell. He had no idea where that outburst came from. Vince swallowed, still staring stupidly. Howard wished he wouldn't do that. Vince's outrageously large eyes made him extremely nervous.

“I-I'm sorry, shouldn't of snapped like that. I'm just a bit tired, is all...” Howard apologised, grimacing. Don't look at me like that, just please, don't.

“Oh, so you did hear me and that spunk rat going at it?” Vince was smiling now, not in a good way though. It was the kind of smile that sent shivers down Howard's spine.

“What-no.” Howard denied. “I was just-I had too much coffee, I wasn't listening-I didn't even-”

“'S okay, we were pretty loud. If it makes you feel be'er I'm tired as all hell, and my ass kills. Imagine that?”

He laughed, and took another bite of his croissant. Howard felt something tingly and warm spread throughout his body as he watched Vince lick the cream off his lips slowly, and then put his fingertip into the streaming pastry, bringing another dollop of cream to his lips, sucking it off his finger tauntingly.

“How the fuck can that feel good!?” Howard blurted out. Vince glanced up, looking perplexed.

“Huh?”

“You know, having something up there...”

Vince cocked his head.

“Oh, bumming, sodomy, buggery, having a penis in your anus for Christ sake!” Howard exclaimed, feeling his cheeks heat up. Vince's expression went from perplexed to amused.

“Why? D'ya wanna find out?” Vince said huskily, leaning toward Howard.

“What!? Certainly not!” Howard cried, screwing his face up in disgust. What? He didn't actually want to- did he?

“So you DID listen in last night. Did you like the way I moaned? Did you touch yourself while thinking of me, doing it, getting fucked hard and so good?”

“Well, I-” Howard's mind was swimming, and Vince grinning victoriously wasn't helping. He knew it was over, that this was the pinnacle of his shame, that Vince was going to tell everyone that he was a closet gay virgin who perved on his best friend.

“Do you want me to show you how good it can be? Do you want me to fuck you?”

There it was. Vince was practically touching lips to his right now. He could feel his erection poke through his jeans, wanting attention.

“Know you want it, you dirty bitch.” Oh Lordy, now Vince was grabbing at his crotch, massaging it firmly, sending waves of pleasure throughout his body.

“V-Vince, you can't just touch somebody on their penis without asking and oh-” Howard's eyes rolled back into their sockets as Vince unpopped the buttons of his beige pants and dipped a cool hand beneath, fingertips dancing over the turgid flesh inside.

“Mmm, that alright?” Vince whispered, panting as he stroked Howard's impression erection.

“Mm, good, I-I mean, don't you think th-this a bit forward, at least let me t-take you out to dinner fir-”

“Oh shut-it Howard. Want to fuck you. Get those clothes off now.”

Howard nodded dumbly and practically ripped his vest and trousers off. He blushed as Vince eyed up and down his naked body, licking his glossed lips.

“You're well equipped, ain't you Moon?”

Howard felt his chest swell with pride at these words, but this was soon forgotten when Vince slinked forward and wrapped a hand around the base of his cock. An unmanly noise left Howard's mouth as Vince wet his lips and took the tip into his mouth, sucking lightly.

“C-Christy!” Howard blurted out, bucking upwards into Vince's hot mouth. He felt Vince laugh around his penis and suck harder. After a few delicious moments, Vince withdrew, much to Howard's distress, and peered up, smiling cheekily.

“Mmm, you taste good.” He purred, licking his lips. “Now, I'm gonna do something now, but you can't get freaked out okay?”

Christ Vince, you can do anything you bloody well want, just, for all things sacred and holy, don't stop doing that thing you were doing with your mouth! Howard had the urge to scream this, but instead resorted to merely nodding. Looking satisfied, Vince took two fingers to his mouth and sucked on them gently before bringing them to Howard's virgin entrance.

“P-please be gentle.” Howard whimpered as Vince's slick fingers traced over his entrance. The smaller man dipped his head up and gave Howard a soft kiss on the lips.

“It'll hurt a little at first, k. But it'll be so worth it, I promise.”

Howard shuddered as Vince massaged his hole teasingly before easing a fingertip inside. His immediate reaction was to clench up at the intrusion, but relaxed a little when Vince started kissing down his chest, taking a detour to lick and suck on a nipple.

“Ohh...” Now Vince was wriggling and twisting his finger about, trying to get in further.

“Christ Howard, you're so tight.” Vince whispered, frowning. “We're gonna need something... hold on.”

The dull pain was suddenly gone, and Howard heard trotting of boots, then a loud, “FUCK!” Vince returned to the room with an empty tube and a crestfallen look on his face.

“Out.” He said simply, tossing the tube to the side. “I don't usually do this, but I'm gonna do it anyway, cos I'm so not getting cooking oil all over my dick... that's well disgusting. Come 'ere.”

Before Howard had a chance to ask for an explanation, Vince had dragged him over to the sofa and pushed him down into an awkward sitting position, with his legs up slightly.

“Vince, what are you d-”

“Gonna rim you 'Oward.” Vince muttered, seating himself between Howard's legs.

“You're gonna WHAT me- ohh, OH!”

Suddenly, the most incredible, but filthy sensation washed over Howard, and he whimpered, driving his hips down against Vince's wet, probing tongue.

“Ohh, G-god Vince.” Howard didn't dare to look down. Just the sight of Vince tongue-fucking him, making him dirty and open and so good, would be enough to make him come. Vince pushed in again, breaching the tight ring of muscle, feeling Howard open up for him more and more. By the end of it, Howard was a trembling mess begging to be fucked, sucked, anything, Oh Lordy, just anything to make him fucking come.

“Alright, gonna fuck you now 'Oward.” Vince panted, practically tearing off his skinnies and shirt infront of the older man. Howard's cock jumped. There was something so primal and forbidden about his best friend standing infront of him, leaking cock inches away from his lips, wearing nothing but red cowboy boots. Impulsively, Howard's tongue flicked out, tasting Vince for the first time. After a few coy licks, Howard hesitantly closed his mouth around Vince's length and tried to repeat what Vince did to him in the kitchen. Despite the fact he had never done anything like this before, Vince seemed satisfied with his performance, moaning and clutching at Howard's hair, guiding him to go faster or slower, softer or harder.

“Christ, not bad for a virgin.” Vince observed as Howard withdrew and looked up, licking his swollen lips. “How d'ya wanna do this? Cos I figure if it's your first time, you should at least choose the position, although, I personally would go for doggy... easy to wank in. You do know what that is, right?” He added cautiously.

Howard's expression went blank.

“Vince, I may be a virgin, but I'm not a complete fucking moron.” He stated. Vince shrugged.

“Just askin'... on your hands and knees Moon.”

Hesitantly, Howard shifted his body around on the couch and got into position. He twisted his head shyly, looking at Vince.

“Christ Howard, d'ya know how fuckin' hot you look right now?” Vince was running his fingertips over the older mans butt cheeks, stopping to slap the pink flesh. “Your ass is well sexy. Sexiest I've ever seen, apart from mine of course.” Howard took that as a definite compliment; he didn't doubt that Vince had seen a lot of asses in his lifetime.

Vince spat onto his hand and briefly coated his cock before lining himself up to Howard's asshole. He rubbed Howard's back soothingly as he pushed in slowly, feeling the tight ring of muscle cease up then relax, allowing his cock-head to slide in. He could hear Howard swear into a cushion, and Vince mentally kicked himself for using up all the lube on that twink last night. If lube was involved, he'd be fucking Howard hard and fast by now.

“Y'okay?” Howard nodded shakily, focusing his attention on relaxing his body. He felt Vince ease out and then push back in. The burn wasn't as bad this time. Vince did this a few more times until Howard could feel hair tickling his rim.

“Fucking hell, Howard.” Vince groaned from behind, starting to thrust properly now. “You feel s'good, so tight and hot... I could come right now.”

“Oh, please don't.” Howard whimpered in response. That'd be a tragedy, Vince blowing his load before him. Afterall, Howard was supposed to be the virgin here.

After a few experimental thrusts to get Howard used to it, Vince leant down to Howard's ear.

“I'm gonna show you something.” Vince panted, before angling his hips downwards.

“OH!” Howard's eyes shot wide open as the most incredible sensation erupted somewhere in his body. “Christ, do that again!”

Vince did more than that. He grabbed Howard's turgid cock and pumped him hard, in tandem with his thrusts.

“Oh Jesus!” Howard panted, his mind going fuzzy from the sheer deliciousness of Vince's cock banging against his prostate. After three more thrusts, he could feel a tingling sensation building up in his spine.

“Fuck Vince, I'm gonna come!”

“Me too!” Vince panted. “Come with me.”

Vince pumped Howard harder, his thrusts getting more frantic and desperate. He dug his nails into the older man's thigh, seconds away from the edge.

“Now Howard!”

Howard came with a high-pitched shout, his cum splattering all over Naboo's purple couch. Vince gasped as Howard's asshole tightened around him, engulfing him, milking him. He exploded with a wail, and rocked Howard back and forth over his penis, riding his orgasm out. He collapsed beside the older man, chest falling up and down.

“What the fuck was that?” Howard asked after a while.

“That, Howard,” Vince said, grinning, “was the beginning of many years of great, mind-blowing sex.” Howard turned, facing the younger man.

“Oh... OH.” He said in realisation. “Does this mean we're gonna, y'know, do this again then?”

“Course!” Vince laughed, stroking Howard's chest. “Was hoping we could make this a regular thing. D'ya have any idea how long I've wanted to bum you? For ages, Howard.”

Howard nodded in understanding and stroked Vince's hair. Amazingly, Vince didn't scream at him something rotten for this.

“Okay, as long as I get to be on top next time.” He said moments later, smiling as last nights' memories of a sweaty, dishevelled Vince being fucked played in his mind.

The End.

#the mighty boosh #mighty boosh #boosh #howince #howard moon #vince noir #vince noir/howard moon #vince/howard

[makeste]

BnHA Smash!! 01 and 02: Smash!!Might is a Fucking Menace

okay, so. I have about a million other things I should be doing instead, including (1) responding to asks and/or finishing in-progress metas, (2) reading Vigilantes, and last but not least, (3) actually making a dent in the ever-increasing backlog of Actual Work That I Really Should Be Doing Instead.

so naturally I’m procrastinating by taking my first stab at reading BnHA’s cute 4-panel omake spinoff series, BnHA Smash!! IT JUST MAKES SENSE. look, I have exactly one thing I felt like actually doing and not procrastinating today, so I might as well do the thing. basically it’s my attention span’s world and I’m just living in it.

anyway! so apparently this series was scanlated by good ol’ Fallen Angels. that’s right; prepare yourselves for some very creative cursing, fellas. other background info for anyone who, like me, is unfamiliar with this spin-off: this series debuted on November 9, 2015, a little over a year after the original series. said original series was currently at chapter 66, meaning the Final Exam arc was just wrapping up.

so now that we’re all properly oriented, let me go over a few disclaimers real quick and then we’ll get started!

all comments are my unspoiled reactions from my initial readthrough of the chapter. I did a quick edit for grammar and clarity afterward, and added a few ETAs in the process, but aside from that there are no changes.

I’m aware that not everyone may be familiar with Smash!! even if they’ve read/watched the original series, so I’ve tried to make this recap comprehensible even if you haven’t read the spin-off. that being said, it’s probably more enjoyable if you have, so you can either purchase the first volume from Viz here, or read the chapter online (I don’t want to link directly, but the spin-off is available on most of the usual sites. literally just google “read mha” and you’ll find some good options).

this readthrough contains a handful of sorta-kinda spoilers for the BnHA manga, although there are no direct spoilers. just an indirect reference to a joke in chapter 242, as well as a reference to a theory which as of now is in no way canon. but just to be on the safe side I’m posting a heads-up.

and I think that’s it! so here we go.

so we’re opening with a brief summary of the series. people have superpowers and shit’s nuts. you know the drill

there’s also a brief description of the way that the superhero economy works, complete with Mt. Lady’s employees unionizing and demanding better pay

...what

guys I keep staring at this and thinking that surely, SURELY it doesn’t say what I think it says. sidekick... what... manager??

you know what? Viz unfortunately doesn’t include this series as part of their subscription package (WHAT AM I PAYING YOU FOR, VIZ), but it does at least include a free preview of Smash, and I bet you that this, the first fucking page of the series, is a part of that preview. so... let’s see...

okay, see, this actually makes sense! so did the FA scanlating team collectively all have a fucking stroke?! just, what??

this is one of the reasons why I had difficulty reading Vigilantes too, tbh. those early chapter scans were, uh. but at least Vigilantes has a Viz scanlation too. I don’t want to spend 10 bucks just to read one volume of this, but we’ll see. anyways

so now there’s a strip about baby!Izuku watching his favorite clip of All Might saving one hundred people from a bus accident or whatever

lol Inko you should not have left your shrewdly calculating four-year-old son unattended omg

TWELVE MONTHS’ WORTH OF TEXTBOOKS HOW CAN THIS EAGER YOUNG MIND RESIST

and this is why you don’t leave your credit card info saved on the computer when you have kids. life lessons learned today

this is the first indicator we have ever had that baby!Izuku wasn’t perfect and was, in fact, capable of being a little shit and giving his mom plenty of gray hairs in his own special way. ngl, I fucking love it

also 12,800 yen is about $118 USD, which is honestly a really good deal for a year’s worth of textbooks. he got three boxes of books! I just googled the average cost of college textbooks, and the google article said the average student spends about $1200 a year. so this is a fucking steal tbh

OH MY GOD INKO HOW MANY TIMES MUST HISTORY REPEAT ITSELF BEFORE YOU LEARN

at least install a fucking adblocker ffs. you’re lucky quirk supplement ads are the worst of the ads he’s getting! PARENTAL CONTROLS

now we are cutting to a comic about baby!Izuku defending another boy from my problematic fave, as seen in page one of the original series!

lmaooo

I’m not clear on how much of this spin-off can actually be considered canon. my understanding is that it is Horikoshi-reviewed and approved, even though he doesn’t actually write it. but it’s obviously a humor series, so a lot of it is just going to be jokes. that being said, I think my approach is going to be “if it’s not completely ridiculous and doesn’t contradict the actual manga, go ahead and consider it canon”

(ETA: I might change this up after reading the first two chapters. most of these strips would have terrifying implications if they were actually canon sob.)

anyhoo, this actually does contradict the manga in that we saw this encounter play out very differently. but I kind of wish it was canon regardless because looool. these cocky preschoolers and their fucking Battle Tears

the next comic is Mt. Lady accidentally stepping on a guy’s face and the guy being way too fucking happy about it (read: having a fucking nosebleed and taking an upskirt shot). we’re just going to skip this entirely. this is another problem I was having with Vigilantes too. you know, for all my complaints about Mineta and such, BnHA as a whole is so much tamer than it could be, and I need to give Horikoshi credit for that. he mostly knows where to draw the line, and to his credit he’s also much, much better about this kind of thing than he was when he first started. maybe Mineta’s standings in the character poll results are helping to clue him in

anyway, I’ll mostly just skip past the iffy stuff because I don’t have patience for it and there’s still plenty of other stuff to cover. so on to the next strip

which features a bunch of reporters fawning over Mt. Lady’s flashy quirk while Kamui Woods laments in the shadows

and yet we know this kid will have a prominent rise within the next six months. it’s so strange to revisit the start of the series and see how much things have changed in such a short time

oh my god

no one who dresses up as a giant mushroom could possibly have good intentions. I. just

and look at the fucking disappointment in Deku’s eyes. KAMUI WOODS HE BELIEVED IN YOU!

now some strange man is coming up to Deku and is all HEY YOU, YOU’RE A HERO OTAKU, TELL ME WHAT TO BUY MY SEVEN-YEAR-OLD SON FOR HIS BIRTHDAY. better not ask him unless you’re prepared to shell out $120 bucks for some fucking textbooks

hey, what!!

WE DIDN’T EVEN GET TO SEE WHAT HE BOUGHT HIM? unless it’s the action figure the kid appears to be holding? but I’m just going to go ahead and assume Izuku recommended the number one best gift that any seven-year-old child would love, i.e. a giant sword

now it’s a sludge monster omake!

so Izuku is trudging home all depressed after CERTAIN INCIDENTS, and Sludgey is glooping his way out of a sewer towards him

oh no All Might

my biggest takeaway from this is the fact that the entire second half of chapter one takes place after All Might has emerged from a fucking sewer. I forgot all about that somehow. or maybe it never fully processed until just now. but omg. this entire chapter must have smelled so fucking bad. these poor kids

wow All Might

sure called that one wrong. ah well nobody’s perfect

looooool

lmao, Smash!!All Might appears to be quite a bit more vain than the original. wow dude

btw, friendly reminder (and I think this is something that was actually pointed out to me after one of the recaps; that’s one of my favorite things about doing these) that All Might, after saving Deku, actually read his notebook before signing it. super-fast, I guess, because he’s the best. but yeah, so he knew exactly how smart and observant Deku was, and how much he wanted to be a hero. his decision to pick him as his successor didn’t just come out of the blue; even before the “my body moved on its own” thing, there was a lot Deku had going in his favor. this is one of those little details of which BnHA has so many, and which I love

lmao what the fuck

ngl this version of the series would have been amazing in its own way. but yeah. so this is why we clearly can’t assume everything in Smash!! is canon lol. but I can already tell I am going to enjoy the shit out of this series

now we’re cutting to Deku running at Sludgey in order to save Kacchan, oh shit. the most dramatic part of chapter one. clearly no moment is sacred

sob what

I don’t understand this strip at all. is this supposed to be a serious moment inserted unexpectedly among this multitude of joke strips? or did I miss the punchline? heeeeelp

(ETA: okay so. my best guess is that All Might wrote all over Deku’s life-saving advice, and so the joke is that Deku no longer knows what to do when assaulting sludge men because HIS NOTES ARE RUINED. idk. what does 25 P mean??)

now All Might has Done The Thing and saved my boys, and now Mt. Lady is helping with the cleanup. scooping up all the bits of sludge and putting it in trash bags

oh my god

nope nevermind. nope. nope

-- shit. okay, you know what? this first chapter has been a real in-your-face reminder of the fact that the sludge monster was not made of cute sparkly 2018-trending-fad slime, but was in fact composed of RAW FUCKING SEWAGE. (ETA: to be clear, I’m pretty sure the joke in this strip is that she accidentally picked up dog-doo during her clean-up. but still, the fact that it was indistinguishable from the rest of the gunk speaks for itself.) I think I forced myself to gloss over this fact originally due to the nope factor. but just. Izuku and Katsuki were both choking to death on this shit?? and just, how the fuck did they make it out of this not traumatized

and also, like. All Might was straight up going to leave Izuku alone afterwards, just, “well enjoy your autograph, fine citizen” and blasting off out of there. and everyone fucking saw Katsuki almost suffocate to death later on, and after giving him a pat on the back they fucking let him go off on his own too? and you can’t even make the argument that this was Just Another Day In Quirk Society either, because more than a year later, Katsuki is still a bona fide fucking celebrity from the media coverage of his attack. it clearly was not something that happens every day. in conclusion, these kids are resilient as fuck, and thank god for that because people apparently just do not give a shit, holy christ

anyway. at least Mt. Lady had gloves

OH MY GOD

I FUCKING KNEW IT OH MY GOD. THE ROIDS. MUSCLES LIKE THAT DON’T JUST GROW ON TREES, I DON’T CARE HOW MANY LBS OF GARBAGE THIS KID HAULED OFF THE BEACH. THIS BOY BEEN HITTIN THE JUICE

Smash!!Might is so fucking shady omfg. probably sells cheap counterfeit electronics on Amazon

oh shit and that’s the end of the fucking chapter lol. that’s it?? that was only eight pages. fuck it, let’s read another. but first here’s Horikoshi’s note on the spin-off

so he really feels that Neda gets the spirit of the series and understands him. that’s very encouraging. the best spoofs and parodies are done out of love. I really think I’m going to enjoy this series

so! onward to chapter two

so here’s All Might dressed as Mr. 2 Bon Clay from One Piece, I guess??

“you know what’s funny? dressing a man in girl’s clothes LOL.” guys can we grow the fuck up. and also acknowledge that All Might can look good in anything, so this questionable gag wouldn’t have even landed anyway. you work that tutu All Might

lmao check out the past users of OFA here

All for One for All theory fucking confirmed lol. just look. that’s him in the back of the conga line. clearly

so Deku is all “hell yes why would I possibly say no??” but then

HIS LIMBS. lmao. sign here

in all seriousness, given the shit this kid has been through since the part of the series, All Might probably should have gotten him to sign a liability waiver of some sort. not that it would have stood, since Deku is underage! anyways Deku you totally have grounds to sue the shit out of the Symbol of Peace should you ever choose to do so. and the trend of Smash!!Might being shady af continues yes please give me more I love it

so now All Might is giving Deku his fitness plan which has a really elaborate name

given that this is Smash!!Might, I can’t help but wonder if this plan is in actuality some sort of MLM scheme. All Might are you trying to get Deku to do Herbalife

lol what in the fuck

the original series skipped right over a hell of a lot, it would seem. like the time Deku traveled to Arizona and fought coyotes in a poncho

I’m starting to suspect that Neda-sensei might be on some sort of substance. “let’s see what jokes can I make about chapter 2 of BnHA. I know, I’ll send the protagonist to a fictionalized version of the American Southwest in a sombrero, and then turn him into a 65-year-old oil tycoon.” naturally

lmao that’s really it, that’s the strip. moving right along. okay??

now Izuku is staring at the intimidating piles of Beach Trash and is all “I HAVE TO PICK ALL THIS SHIT UP?”

omg Deku no

somebody call Marie Kondo. Deku none of this is salvageable. not even to reuse in a color page photoshoot spread four years from now

OH SHIT

PROVED ME WRONG OH SNAP. SHOWED ME RIGHT WHERE I COULD PUT THOSE SASSY TAKES. MY BAD DEKU I’M SORRY

anyways I don’t know what Smash!!Might is so upset about. he probably wove some kind of clause into the contract Deku signed that allows him a percentage of the profits. unless Deku already spent it all on textbooks

what the fuck is this fucking series lmao

time for a round of “what is All Might casually crushing in this panel?” is it (a) a cardboard box, or (b) like, a mini-fridge or some fucking shit. IT COULD BE EITHER. IT MAKES EQUALLY AS MUCH SENSE EITHER WAY. “HEROES THESE DAYS ARE [FLEEEEEEX] OBSESSED WITH BEING FLASHY” 

holy shit no wonder he ran away to the Sierra Nevada. it’s only a matter of time before this freak fucking kills someone

NOW WE’RE CUTTING AWAY TO KAMUI WOODS DRESSED LIKE A DAFFODIL, IN THE SAME FUCKING COMIC STRIP, BECAUSE REASONS

my jokes about the mangaka being high as a fucking kite when he wrote this are gradually becoming less jokes and more serious inquiries??

lol so he coincidentally just stumbled across All Might and Deku at this exact moment

AND IT WAS A FUCKING REFRIGERATOR OH MY FUCKING GOD

do you guys remember during the final exam when All Might beat the everloving shit out of Deku and Kacchan, and everyone was all “JESUS CHRIST WOULD YOU LEARN TO FUCKING HOLD BACK A LITTLE THEY ARE CHILDREN YOU MANIAC.” but now we can see plain as day that he was, in fact, holding back. anyways Smash!!Might is terrifying as shit and if this had been the main series I would have already pegged him as the final villain by this point

here he is now wearing an old-timey bathing suit but looking more like an escaped convict than anything else

this panel is actually canon. I’ve decided. this 100% definitely happened at some point. especially the swimsuit

now two bikini babes are walking up and they’re all “IS THAT ALL MIGHT??” with excited sparkly eyes because they don’t know that he’s actually a deranged con artist who crushes refrigerators like empty soda cans. this spin-off has truly opened my eyes

LOOK AT THIS SKEEVY FUCK. JUST LOOK

AND NOW HE’S RUNNING OFF AND LEAVING DEKU TO DROWN IN EXHAUSTION, SON OF A

“SUDDEN BUSINESS” KSJLDKF SMASH!!MIGHT IS A FUCKING MENACE TO SOCIETY AND ALSO DOES NOT GIVE ONE SINGLE FUCK. NOT ONE!! HE’S OUT THERE FUCKLESS, AND NO ONE IS SAFE

now Deku is approaching his mom all serious and says he wants to change up his diet

and she’s looking at the menu he prepared all impressed and thinking that she might join him. as long as it’s for your health, Inko. if this manga starts making jokes about your weight, I will beat it over the head with Deku’s textbooks

OMFG

THIS WENT IN THE EXACT OPPOSITE DIRECTION I WAS EXPECTING, AND THIS IS THE MOST AMAZING THING I’VE EVER READ WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK. the whole fucking family is on the juice. and the fucking mangaka is on some special juice of his own oh my stars

now we’re cutting to Mt. Lady stomping on a car

thank fuck no one was actually in there. also does she not wear shoes

and also, it only just occurred to me that she must be another person with a special quirk costume, because her suit shrinks and expands along with her. Hagakure and Momo are really getting shafted by the costume design team here. they need to fire some people

anyway so Mt. Lady slipped on this carelessly placed vehicle and fell down and crushed an entire building whoops

bruh, you think you’re “ow.” let’s hope that building was empty too

and now she’s toppling another building just fucking because, I guess. and saying she can’t do urban areas

lmao and now the sidekick [CENSORED] manager from chapter one is back to guilt-trip her omg

I need this man to show up in every freaking chapter. please. respect my wishes

and now Izuku is standing on top of his collected pile of garbage screaming in victory

I only just realized that there’s still a big old Pile O’ Trash on this beach, though. someone needs to haul all of this junk away. or else get All Might and Mt. Lady to crush it all with a combined effort

oh shit here it comes y’all, the famous “eat my hair” scene. potential comedy gold right here omg

lol what the fuck

this man is a fucking billionaire and he’s out here clipping coupons and deleting pictures of his son in order to make room for them smdh

okay now we’re doing the hair scene

oh. oh no. I know where this is going sob please keep this comic rated PG for the children Neda

motherfucker they really --

Smash!!Might is a straight-up felon. this man has no fucking scruples. that’s okay Midoriya-shounen, if you don’t want to eat my hair we could just try some REDACTED, jesus christ I am going to need some bleach for my eyes after this

OR LET’S JUST STRAIGHT UP GO THERE WHY NOT

lmao sob. well, two chapters in and we’ve established that no territory is off-limits here. it’s a brave new world. wow

 so that’s it! our introduction to BnHA Smash!! I enjoyed it a lot and I will definitely be reading more! I’m not sure what kind of schedule I’ll keep, but this is a really good procrastination manga thus far, so knowing me I might actually work my way through this relatively quickly. especially since the Manga At Large is on break this week. anyways my deepest apologies to the many people who have been requesting for me to start Vigilantes instead. I just need something lighter right now, and this is a good fit. one of these days I’ll get my shit together with the other two spinoffs as well.

#bnha smash!! #boku no hero academia #midoriya izuku #all might #midoriya inko #mt. lady #kamui woods #bnha smash!! 01 #bnha smash!! 02 #makeste reads bnha #the pile o' trash is a legit plothole though you guys #are we just supposed to pretend it magically vanished #they really drew deku standing shirtless on top of a heap of garbage #and in the very next panel declared that the beach was spotless?? #so what is the truth #someone #answer me

[steph-is-asleep]

Steph Talks For Way Too Long About Sollux’s Harry Potter House

I havent been able to stop thinking  or talking about this topic for like 60+ hours

first wanna say that it’s really hard to interpret how people are sorted because JK Rowling is apparently shitty at writing. So people seem to have wildly different opinions on why people are in the houses they’re in because they view the houses and their qualifications differently.

I’ve also never read a harry potter book and havent watched a movie for like 5+ years maybe so i had to talk to like 3-4 people who went though huge harry potter phases and we talked for over 3 hours cumulatively for me to make up my mind.

I think it’s really important to say that because Sollux isn’t really a main character, there’s a lot we have to make guesses on. Hussie didn’t make a big sheet full of Sollux’s Dreams and Ambitions, Morals and Beliefs, so we have to  fill in a lot of blanks on what we think those are based on a few things. Who he talks to, and associates himself with and what he does

The point being we don’t have a lot to work with.

It’s also pretty important to say that Sollux puts on a LOT of fronts and facades. He’s only truly mean and cruel to people he doesn’t like or care about Plus Karkat. He plays Fake Mean a lot, and if you dig even a centimeter under it, we see time and time again that he’s just pretending and does actually give many shits.

Sollux is also really passive in most things that he does. He doesn’t really question anyone’s authority or make a point to fight something out very often. The only time we ever see him resort to action to solve his problems are when dealing with Eridan. And even then, the first time we ever see them talk, it’s Eridan walking up to him and Feferi privately having a conversation and Sollux telling his gf to “make him go away.” And then after Eridan doesn’t go away, we see him resort to fighting. His PQ arc also has him antagonize Eridan and then drop a building on him, so like, yeah. Usually, when presented with conflict, Sollux either removes himself from the situation quickly, or if he’s unable to do so, makes it extremely clear that he doesn’t want to engage. In most cases, Sollux is by himself, sitting alone and not making attempts to talk to anyone else. It’s totally possible that he’s more social at other times and we only see him when he’s at his worst, but we dont see that so we can’t really speculate much on it. Point being, he’s very passive and self contained/oriented.

What i really want to put emphasis on is the people he associates with. His main friends we see him talk to willingly or at least show fondness for are Aradia, Feferi, Kanaya, Terezi, and Karkat. Three of these are considered main characters, or are at least given character arcs to some extent. These are the good guys. The guys who at least try to do good, and show compassion, and care about others. The characters we see him either avoid quietly, avoid loudly or vocally hate and commit violence against are the rest of the characters. Namely Vriska, Gamzee and Eridan. (im kinda gonna gloss over Vriska because his distaste/hatred/unpleasantness towards her  doesn’t have to be a moral statement on his part. It’s pretty easy to assume that anyone with his past to her would have a similar if not identical stand point) These are characters that actively do bad things, they murder and harm others at worst and are gross nasty incels at best. And even the best case in that scenario is still blabberingly racist and, treats sollux and the people he cares about like shit. Sollux doesn’t associate with people that the comic have established are villains, or at least do things that are pretty unambiguously wrong or evil.

In Sollux’s pesterquest, Kanaya tells MSPA reader than when The Thing with Aradia first happened, Sollux refused contact with Kanaya because she didn’t cut off Vriska. He was upset at her for being associated with someone who traumatized him. This is very telling of sollux’s personality and his relationship with his friends, and it’s a side we don’t see of Sollux any other time in the comic or in his PQ arc. It’s only when she tells him that she doesn’t cut Vriska off due to romantic feelings for her does Sollux change his mind. He doesn’t bring up Vriska, Aradia, his grief or his trauma at any point while at his visit with her that we see. He doesn’t appear mad or reluctant to be there, he makes jokes, smiles, and reminisces memories with her fondly, even almost sleeps over at her place for the day. It’s like he’s completely forgotten about being upset at her at all, or is at least choosing not to bring it up out of respect for her.

Again, it’s unclear how much time has passed. But when you start his arc, the reason youre talking to him is because he’s been reclusive out of grief. He hasn’t been talking to people lately and his friends are worried about him. So clearly enough time has passed for him to be okay with seeing Kanaya, as that’s his sole purpose for leaving his hive that day at all, but not enough time for him to be fully recovered.

This moment in his arc showcases his loyalty that he has for Kanaya, and possibly his other friends. He seemed quick to forgive her, or at least bury whatever resentment he may have been harboring. One may say that his cold shoulder to Kanaya would be indicative of a lack of a loyalty trait at all, that if he were loyal to her, he wouldn’t be ready to possible end his relationship with her over this. But i kind of view it as a sort of bluff? Like Kanaya essentially told him that his trauma did not at all change the way she feels about her, Kanaya still has a crush on Vriska after hearing about what she did to one of her good friends. To some, this may have been a slap to the face, an entire dismissal of his trauma in it’s entirety. But instead, he sees it as a valid reason for not cutting her off, he shrugs it off. I feel like if he were serious about not wanting to be friends with Kanaya while she was talking to someone who hurt him greatly, her crush wouldn’t have been an excuse.

I also wanna touch on his loyalty to Aradia very quickly because you dont need me to  tell you that he cares about her. Once again for like the third time, we have to make guesses on how much time has passed between events. From the time Aradia dies on Alternia, becomes a ghost with an entirely new personality, a robot with another personality, and then finally her alive Godtier self, Sollux’s feelings for her are very consistent. He seems to not really care for the ghost or robot versions of her, he even sits a chair away from her during Openbound on the meteor, and doesn’t talk to her much, is very cold towards her, and even tells her that she’s incapable of feeling when she tries to tell him goodbye when she explodes (it’s also worth noting he cries after this, which i think is the first and only time we see him do this). When Aradia comes back to the meteor, alive and herself again, Sollux immediately leaves the rest of his friends to go hang out with her. Even with Karkat begging him to stay, he just peaces out, without even really thinking about it. We have to assume that if it’s not written in the dialogue, it isn’t being said. So he doesn’t discuss wanting to leave with Aradia or with anyone else. He just decides he’s leaving, and then does. And he stays by her side for almost the rest of the time we see him. He ditches later for other reasons, but don’t worry, they’re back together by the time Collide is happening.

Point being, for the most part, he sticks by his friends unless they’re doing something he disagrees with morally. If he’s not down for what’s happening, he’s not down for sticking around. He even seems to be better friends with Nepeta now that this version of her isn’t really hanging out with Equius that much, someone Sollux would no doubt not get along with for many reasons.

Some of my friends pointed out that him sticking by his morals so strongly is something a Slytherin would do, coupled with the fact that he’s kind of a dick or something idk that much about Slytherins. But I think Huffliepuff is very much about comradery. We can tell a lot about Sollux based on who he surrounds himself with and what he does and doesn’t participate in. He doesn’t participate in trolling humans, he doesn’t participate in helping Vriska do something he doesn’t feel good about doing, he doesn’t participate in any of the relationship melodrama happening around him. But he helps his friends. He helps Kanaya open the viewfinder to see and talk to Rose, he helps Kanaya do little errands in his PQ route, he helps Terezi find out who Dave is, and he sacrifices himself to save the remainder of his group (which btw only contains the people I’ve previously stated he associates with minus feferi not that that means anything i just thought it was kind of fun to point out). I mean, he got better but its the thought that counts.

Someone could make a point that “If Sollux is so loyal, why didn’t he mourn Feferi even a little bit when he found out she was dead?” And yeah, that’s a good point to bring up, and i don’t really have anything to say about it other than….maybe he knew by this point that death doesn’t really mean anything? Maybe his euphoria of finally being lifting of the voices was happening at the same time? And also that he predicted he’d go blind like a million pages ago and now he can finally stop worrying about it? Is he happy that he’s talking to Terezi and right now that’s more important? It’s hard to tell. Sollux doesn’t really explain himself apart from “missing being her matesprite” when in Erisolsprite form talking  to Fefetasprite form. It’s hard to tell what their relationship was at the time, or what his feelings truly were immediately afterward. I kinda think it was the foremost of those explanations, he probably knew that she’d come back as a ghost, or something?

Anyway, those are all the reasons i can think of at the moment for why I think Sollux would be Hufflepuff. A lot of his personality revolves around his friends, who he considers friends and who he doesn’t consider friends. Send me asks, message me, and do that shit if you wanna talk more, but i probably won’t have a whole lot to say lmao. Or ill just restate a lot of what i said here.

Props for getting this far. For the record, if Sollux for some reason was unable to be in Hufflepuff, I’d probably put him 50/50 Ravenclaw or Slytherin. I really don’t think he’s a Gryfindor because as I understand it, that house is very much about being courageous, and standing up for yourself and i went off for way to long about how he’s a little weenie man who does nothing mostly.

#its 3 am #sollux captor #homestuck #headcanons

[amazildoessomethingstupid]

Chapter 102: Escape Route

So… I have a confession to make.  

I actually read this chapter weeks ago, when I had those few missed updates a while ago. And since reading it, I find myself for the first time ever since doing this rant series…lost for words.  

I know! 

And I don’t mean that to say this chapter is confusing, or aggravating, or too good to talk shit about, it’s just…empty. Which is weird, given that on paper there’s some juicy elements to talk about.  In fact, I was initially pretty excited to go into this chapter given that this is the chapter that gave us:

So how the hell can I say there’s nothing to talk about? Well, it’s all in the summary.  The chapter starts with the panel I presented in the beginning, where Lucy establishes that it’s Augustus’ birthday.  There’s a bit of back and forth which is cute, but it’s all just fluff to get us to…

A retcon of that one chapter where Lucy tried to ride the bus with Augustus!  Except instead of being kicked off the bus for bus hopping, she instead gets to stay.  Now that might seem like a semi-interesting concept, but it’s really not and it’s evident in the chapter.  It’s basically just this

Lucy sees the place that Augustus lives in, and what it’s like in the inner city, and a glimpse into his home life. She’s culture shocked, and ends up sleeping over, where she has

THE DREAM

but then we snap back to reality and nothing is really changed.  I’m glossing over a lot here, but the thing is, while reading this chapter I felt oddly underwhelmed.  It felt like I already knew everything that would happen in this chapter.  Which might be chalked up to me being spoiled about the Alejandro dream when this chapter initially came out, but then again I’m no stranger to spoilers.  And in fact, a lot of times spoilers lead to more interest from me, because I want to know how we got to those big moments, and a lot of times there’s things that were missed while everyone was focused on that big moment which is where a lot of my rants get their material from.  A good example of this, being the carnival.

I knew about this line and the implications when it came out, but it didn’t spoil it for me. There were plenty of surprises and criticisms to throw outside of this one boneheaded moment.  There was more than just this one scene to make me perk up and dive into, such as Lacey’s behavior following this confession.  But here?

Outside of the alleyway nightmare sequence, there’s nothing to dig into.  Which baffles me so much I’ve had to sit and stew on what the fuck to even talk about for weeks!  Because there SHOULD be something to talk about here, there’s a new event going on, a return to form of having an alternate take on a previous situation. You’d think, as someone who basically started their artistic comeback doing that exact same thing I’d have more to talk about here, but I’m kinda stumped.  What do I talk about?

Oh, we see that Augustus lives in poverty and has bad parents? Yeah, we already knew that!  

Well okay, we may have known that but maybe this is about showing that Lucy knows that now too, and it’s showing her come to this revelation! Which that might be true, except for the fact that

WE ALREADY KNOW LUCY KNOWS THIS SHIT, WHEN AUGUSTUS TOLD HER!

But what about Alejandro? Maybe this chapter is meant to be a refresher to the audience to remind us that Alejandro’s a threat, except that’s even weaker because his existence as a real threat, was already reestablished THE SAME CHAPTER LUCY CAME BACK IN!  

Any information to be gathered from this chapter is either surface level shit, or just stuff that every reader already knows about.  And what makes this even worse is the fact that THIS WAS A FUCKING REDRAW OF A BCI EXCLUSIVE COMIC!  

So anyone who actually read that, and paid money to see that exclusive storyline was rewarded by having to wait at least TEN FUCKING WEEKS to read the same fucking shit they read before! And yes, I am going to talk about the BCI exclusive, because it made me kind of excited to dive into this chapter knowing that I could double dip, by comparing the BCI exclusive version to the canon version.  And it would’ve been a moral dilemma for me to show you this, because I do respect Taeshi’s private art and not showing what she may not want to show.  And I would feel bad about showing something that people paid money to exclusively see… if it weren’t for the fact that IT IS A COMPLETE PANEL-BY-PANEL CARBON COPY OF THE FUCKING EXCLUSIVE!  I COULD SHOW YOU THE ENTIRE FUCKING BCI COMIC, AND IT WOULDN’T MATTER AT ALL, BECAUSE IF YOU’VE READ THIS CHAPTER YOU’VE ALREADY READ THE FUCKING EXCLUSIVE SO IT DOESN’T EVEN MATTER!  

“But wait!” you might be saying, “That’s not entirely true.  Taeshi redrew the pages, and changed bits of the dialogue!”  And you know what?  You’re right!  She did, let’s talk about that shall we?

These are the only things she changed, just dialogue tweaks.  And you might be thinking, “Okay I see what you mean.  These are all just minor changes, that really don’t deviate in any substantial way to the chapter’s story.” Except… if you pair this with the other thing that wasn’t in the BCI exclusive, it’s quite clear what these little changes really insinuate, and what they mean.  Because, you know what wasn’t in the BCI exclusive?

This scene and yes the entire dream sequence, which I haven’t touched too much on wasn’t in the BCI exclusive.  It was created solely for the canon adaptation and if pair this with the minor dialogue changes I specifically brought up, you’ll see why they’re actually significant..  

First of all, I just need to point this out because I saw it, and now you can’t unsee it either.

Lucy’s going full owl head here.  These guys must be freaks to hit on someone doing the fucking exorcist full neck turn. But don’t let the owl head distract you, bear in mind that those five panels I showed from the BCI was the entire exchange and reaction between Lucy and these creeps.  However, in the canon…

It actually lingers on a bit more, we see the guys’ faces and them leering at Lucy, it has more implications outside of a simple cat-calling (no pun intended).  It’s more focus on Lucy trying to act tough and stifle her fears.  

But this change really shows what the changes are really trying to get at here.  The original line insinuates more than violence, but could mean death.  Whereas the change to “He’d be more than excited to know you came way out here.” Is pretty clear in its implication.  And this implication is indicative of what this chapter is really trying to establish. And the implication is…

THE R-WORD. And no, I don’t mean THAT R-Word you assholes; I mean the R-word that gets brought up whenever you talk about Augustus x Daisy, the R-Word that is tied to Alejandro, the R-Word that is brought up to excuse Lucy’s change in character, the R-Word I refrained from using in the carnival chapter because I don’t want to talk about that...  I’m talking about…

Rape. 

You wanna know what the whole purpose of this chapter is about?  If you break away all the needless information that we already know about Augustus, the only thing to take away from this chapter and its dream within a flashback…is that Lucy was almost raped… it has traumatized her, and she need serious help.   And after realizing that, and the fact that the entire trip is pointless in giving the reader anything new to chew on, I can’t even give a thought to the rest of that dream sequence, as it’s just that Lucy distrusts her friends and feels isolated.  Even if I talk about that, and what interesting things to gather from it there may be, I know it doesn’t matter because it’s a fucking DREAM WITHIN A FLASHBACK!  And if we look at this chapter and break it down to brass tacks, all this chapter tries to accomplish is trying to make us sympathize with Lucy by bringing up the absolute worst fucking thing imaginable.  And it just so happens that this is during after we’ve seen Lucy do some messed up shit to her former friends. Perhaps this chapter is meant to make us feel pity for Lucy, and let that pity excuse the bullshit she’s done.  But pulling out the rape card?  That’s fucking low.  This chapter aside from the rapey bits, is just numbing.  Like I said, everything that this scenario could’ve dived into or revealed were revealed and reinforced already.  And I remember when this chapter was coming out, even us shitposters and loving haters were fucking bored to tears, counting the fucking days for this chapter to end. But I know what some might say,

“You’re being unfair, Lt! Of course you know this stuff, you’re a fanatic!  This is a refresher for everyone, because they may not remember the stuff with Alejandro! They may not be so well versed, and you yourself even complained how there were minor things you forgot about in the canon that needed to be reminded to you!” and you know what?

Ya might be right there, pally.  You might be right, the dedicated fanbase probably could use a refresher on the threat of Alejandro, I mean who’s gonna remember that plot point from all the way back in Volume 1?  Except that like I stated in the beginning of this rant...

THE THREAT OF ALEJANDRO AND THE EFFECT HE HAS ON LUCY AND AUGUSTUS WAS ALREADY RE-ESTABLISHED SEVEN CHAPTERS AGO!  HIS INFLUENCE IS EVER PRESENT WITH AUGUSTUS!

“But that’s seven chapters ago! In real time, that was like a year difference.  You can’t just expect readers to remember that!” Well maybe you’re right, maybe you’re right.  But wait!

AREN’T YOU THE SAME PEOPLE WHO TELL ME AND MANY OTHER READERS THAT THIS COMIC IS MEANT TO BE READ IN BINGE FORM?!  WHERE IT’S CHAPTER BY CHAPTER!   BUT NOW YOU WANNA GIVE A BREAK TO THE ADDICTS WAITING WITH BAITED BREATH DAY ON END FOR AN UPDATE!?  WHAT IS THE FUCKING POINT?!  

 sigh...

In closing… This chapter above all else, and I’m surprised to say this…  Is utterly pointless.  It’s nothing but shock value, meant to reinforce the fucked up part of BCB and these characters.  It gives us nothing new, and it’s a chapter that I feel is just a waste of time.  We already knew the things it brings up, and what we didn’t know, we could easily infer.  Not to mention that its placement before December, muddles the motivation of Lucy’s suicide attempt if not exposes a missed opportunity because it would’ve been a lot more interesting and moving to have Lucy think about her friends outside of Mike before jumping, and we see there that she has that mistrust in them.  But nope, that’s not what we get and this chapter does absolutely nothing except tell the audience, “Hey!  Lucy was almost raped and it’s fucked up!  We didn’t take the time to explore this, and establish her feelings before (even in times after this flashback supposedly takes place) so we’re going to bring it up now!  And it’s a flashback so we can say it was there the entire time!  But in reality, we just didn’t want to dive into it back then, but we’re gonna bring it back in now!”  And hey, why not recycle an entire storyline that you did before and change next to nothing.  Because that’s super creative.  

I give this chapter a hollow 2/10 I’ll give it an extra point because the nightmare sequence was actually well done.  I liked Taeshi’s use of vertical paneling and experimenting with the webcomic style in that way, and it was done very effectively.  However, that doesn’t change that fact that it was nothing but shallow shock value in my eyes.

#Bittersweet Candy Bowl #rant

[str4y-k1ds]

Thoughts on Spiderman Far From Home

So, this is a spoiler filled review/word vomit about the film, if you haven’t seen it yet, there will be spoilers for the movie underneath the “Keep reading” and you have been warned.

I’m going to try and summarize my thoughts in semi-chronological order, because the whole movie went by so quick for me that I really can’t remember the order of everything. Also, no emojis because I had to type this on my computer, so expect a lot of XD’s.

- The “in memoriam” video the school’s news broadcast thingy plays at the beginning was simultaneously hilarious and sad to me. The comic sans made it 10 times better, I bet all of the teachers silently died inside when they saw it. XD

- I was glad to see Natasha in the video, because I was worried that the rest of the world would kinda gloss over her death because of how famous Steve and Tony were compared to the rest of the Avengers.

- Peter’s plan with MJ on the plane going so incredibly wrong was really funny. That one teacher, Mr. Harrington I think, was an absolutely hilarious mess, and I loved it. XD

- I was waiting for that police scene to show up in the movie, but it never came. I wonder why they cut it from the final product?

- Peter’s face when Happy and May were backstage with him? Me too, their “fling” (poor Happy) came out of nowhere, but I loved it. XD

- The reporter scene messed me up dude, I could feel his panic and desire to get the hell out of there, I would have those feelings too if I were in his shoes.

- PETER TINGLE. I freakin burst out laughing every time those words came out of someone’s mouth. XD

- That one airport security lady? She a real one for not exposing our boy like that. XD

- The necklace that Peter bought for MJ? So pretty.

- Peter hitting his head on that bell twice was amazing. XD

- That one song that plays while Peter and his class are in the bus in the mountains? If anyone knows the name of that song, please let me know because I REALLY liked it.

- Oof, Brad kinda pissed me off a little with that whole photo stunt, ngl.

- NIGHT MONKEY. XD

- Ned and Betty for OTP of the year.

- “Even Dead I’m the Hero.” Wow. Classic Tony. XD

- Also, can we talk about how OP EDITH is? Because she has hologram tech now, not to mention like a gazillion drones, and whatever else she can do weapons-wise, that’s not even considering her having “back doors” to basically every single electronic and digital system in the world? Dude, Peter/Mysterio can basically control the world now if you really think about it. Just the concept of EDITH is scary, I’m gonna touch on that later.

- Fury lowkey pissed me off in some parts of the movie, like don’t get me wrong, a lot of what he did was “in the name of protecting the world” and all that, but when he asked if Tony had made a mistake in choosing Peter, I fumed. I wasn’t a fan of the emotional manipulation he was using there, ngl. 

- I’ve avoided talking about Mysterio so far to save it for the end, but I can’t not mention that bar scene. When Peter gave him the glasses, the guy sitting next to me muttered a quiet “Oh fuck,” and I completely agreed.

- Everything that happened after the holograms faded away was expertly crafted. The stills in black and white made the audience laugh a little, but everything Mysterio said during his toast and the way he said it, just slightly unhinged but still dangerously cunning, shocked everyone in my theater into a tense silence. So good.

- “BARF, he took my life’s work and named it BARF.” Wow. 

- When Peter asked MJ if the only reason she was keeping tabs on him was because she suspected he was Spiderman, and her saying yes? Damn, his face looked so sad and hurt, it made me want to hug him.

- Alright, it’s time we talk about the illusion scene. I can barely put into words all of the emotions and thoughts I was feeling. I was concerned, I was scared, I was mad, I was tripping out, I was shocked, the dread and tension was palpable in my theater. I have never been in a movie theater that quiet before. No one was eating, no one was drinking, no one moved. Literally. I can barely remember what Mysterio said while he was torturing Peter, that’s how drawn in I was by this scene. And when that tombstone appeared, and the Iron Man zombie came out of the ground? I have no words.

- When that train hit him, I jumped right out of my seat and lowkey yelped. Mysterio is an evil son of a bitch, I really hated him.

- I really thought Nick Fury had shot him at first, I really did. That’s how realistic his illusions were, and after the reveal that he hadn’t been shot, that’s when the paranoia set in.

- I was so shell shocked after all of the illusions, that I literally don’t remember anything until Happy shows up with his jet. And while we’re on the topic, Peter brokenly asking Happy if he was real literally caused me to tear up.

- Everything that happened on that plane broke me. Peter’s red eyes and hysterical word vomit during that scene and being stitched up. I was just really sad. Peter is going to have PTSD at this point, if he doesn’t have it already. So many traumatic things have happened to him, if I were in his shoes I would have given up already, not even going to deny it.

- I LOVE LED ZEPPELIN!!! Oh Peter. XD

- Happy’s fond look when Peter’s making his suit had me uwuing.

- The final battle was so amazing and tense and rewarding. MJ with that mace? Hell yes. And Happy throwing the shield and asking how Cap does it had me dying. XD

- Let’s talk about that final showdown with Peter and the drones and Mysterio. Peter radiated confident BAMF energy in that scene. And when he grabs the gun? I smiled so widely, I was so proud and impressed and happy. 

- Now, here is where things get confusing for me. Did Mysterio actually die? Because Peter transferred ownership of EDITH to Quentin, at least as far as I remember. Does that not mean that Mysterio could still have been projecting a minor illusion of his own death, and have gotten away because the word transfer means giving up ownership, and therefore Peter shouldn’t have any permissions within EDITH’s systems anymore? But at the same time, Peter put on the glasses, so they couldn’t have been fake glasses then right, because Quentin didn’t have small glasses sized drones, did he? I think the rules of who controls EDITH gets a little confusing for me in this scene. Does Peter always have access? Is there some kind of fail safe? Tony surely planned for this, right? I just have a lot of questions, but for the sake of the conclusion, I’m just going to assume Mysterio is actually dead and Peter does indeed have control of EDITH again.

- Fuck, Peter lost another mentor figure, even if Quentin was a little insane, it doesn’t negate the fact that for a brief sliver of time Peter really trusted and looked up to him.

- PETER AND MJ WERE SO AWKWARD AND KISSED AND AND WERE SO SWEET AND I DIED A LITTLE INSIDE WHEN THEY REUNITED AND HUGGED, AJKSASJAKLSKLALS.

- And when MJ said she liked the necklace broken, I melted because she basically said she doesn’t mind Peter being a bit broken because she really likes him and will support him and ugh, they’re just so cute and sweet and I’m in love with their relationship.

- Peter and MJ swinging around New York at the end made me so happy.

- Those post credits scenes were amazing and forever change the landscape of the MCU going forward. How is Peter going to navigate basically being a criminal/villain in the eyes of a lot of the public? Will the government go after him? I’m sure Ross would love to get his power-hungry hands on another Accords like situation, but I don’t really know if Marvel will go there or not. All I know is Peter literally can’t catch a break, poor kid just got his normal life back, and now it’s being ruined all over again. I have so many questions/theories about how the MCU will go forward now, it’s so exciting! And Talos and his wife disguising themselves as Fury and Hill? Did not see that coming, but it made sense and my initial confusion was quickly overturned with the question of who else we know is secretly a Skrull? I like the Secret Invasion-esque route they might be going with here, but since the Skrull aren’t really evil, does it really matter who’s real or not so long as Nick Fury and Talos are monitoring everything happening on Earth and around it? Ugh, so many questions, that seems to be the general consensus.

- Now for my thoughts on Mysterio. I think he’s a close second to Thanos for best villain in the MCU so far, in my opinion. Feel free to disagree, but think about this for a second: Mysterio basically created a reality stone; if he hadn’t had his plan foiled and continued to play his cards right, he could essentially make reality whatever he wanted, and no one would be able to tell the difference. That is a scary thought. (Imagine what he could do if he combined his illusion technology with something that resembles the microbots in Big Hero 6, yikes, then he really would be able to make his illusions feel real too.) Mysterio was cunning, his intelligence and complete lack of concern for human life is terrifying in combination with his flair for the dramatics, and Jake Gyllenhaal plays him so well that you can’t help but like him even though you hate his guts. Overall, I’m very impressed, I really hope we get to see him again, because I liked his character that much.

- EDITH is genuinely scary, because essentially whoever has access to her can do anything they want, and in today’s technology dependent world, a person with that much power (not just electronically, but militarily as well) needs to be the purest and most good and responsible person in the world or else the world could literally just have unchallengable dictator rise up in a whole 24 hours. I’m just glad it’s Peter who has access to her, Tony might have gone too far with this one, but hey, maybe I’m just paranoid.

- I don’t know it was just me, but after getting out of this movie, I couldn’t shake the thought that this movie was attempting to make us rightfully fear the progression of technology and how hard it is to determine what absolute truth is in today’s world. I think Mysterio even mentions how easily people want to believe things nowadays. Hit the nail on the head with that message if it was intended, if not, then I’m just reading too much into it. XD

Wow, this was long. Sorry guys, I hope I didn’t bore you, this is coming out a whole two hours later than I said it would, I just had so many thoughts and words to vomit. XD

Thanks for reading, let me know what you thought of the movie if you want to, no pressure!

#spiderman far from home #spiderman spoilers #spiderman far from home spoliers #please don't read if you haven't watched the movie yet #spiderman

[anythingstephenking]

The Morally Grey Mile

Strap in for another grim tale. At least men are the ones getting fucked in The Green Mile, amirite ladies? No, still not cool? Ok then.

I suppose it is a disservice to call The Green Mile solely a “grim” tale, but because the core story focuses on an innocent man headed to the electric chair, it is pretty damn grim. If you haven’t read the book you’ve seen the movie but spoilers anyway - the innocent man dies and it sucks for the reader. It’s certainly more complicated than “bad wins” but a real bummer all the same.

Backing up a bit. The Green Mile was King’s first attempt at a serialized story release. In the book’s forward, King tells us it’s story of inception. Through a series of fortuitous events and a conversation with business associates about Charles Dickens, King concocted the idea to release a story in a series of “chapbooks”. Apparently Dickens released some of his stories that way, and they were so fervently popular that a band of dingdongs pushed each other off a dock and drowned while awaiting a shipment of Dickens into Baltimore Harbor. I imagine if the Harry Potter books were released that way I would have ended up in the harbor too. No judgement, zealous Dickens readers, I get it.

Logically, if it worked for 19th century Dickens, it would surely work for 20th century Stephen King, right? 

(cue Mr. Burns fingers). 

A single book released in installments monthly, garnering 3-4x the cost of a single paperback. Good for you SK, good for you. Cause turns out, the constant reader ate it up and bought ‘em like hotcakes.

Cause that’s the thing - this is a really really good story. Not because it’s beautifully written like Cujo or Firestarter or mind-bending like The Dark Tower books, but because it is a real page turner. I credit the format for that - you can tell it was written in a plot-driven, cliffhanger kinda way. In the same way serialized TV (before binging took this joy away) would leave you wanting more week to week, The Green Mile leaves each installment in a way where you can’t imagine not picking up the next one.

Per my contractual agreement with myself, I am required to reach each and every page of this story, but I’m a strange bird and the rest of the world isn’t a weirdo like me. At the end of the day, the narrative structure here really works and I plowed through all 6 installments in a day or so. Those reading in real-time (and not binging like me) waited a month between each publishing, from March through August 1996. There was no dock delivery in Baltimore in 1996 but I imagine if there was, the crowd waiting for each would be large.

So the narrative approach works, but what about the story itself? My analysis comes back slightly muddy but mostly positive despite some hard to swallow flaws.

I can’t claim to know what death row would have been like in 1932, but I’ve watched enough PBS documentaries to know what it’s like now. The group held at Cold Mountain are described as killers, yes. As rapists and wife beaters and arsonists. But they also come across like a rag-tag group of buds that should have their own reality TV show. One of the prisoners, Del, raped and murdered a young girl then accidentally killed a bunch of other people trying to cover his tracks by setting the building on fire. But he’s got this cute, somewhat supernatural mouse named Mr. Jingles that does tricks. Ain’t it cute? Then he fries and literally catches on fire in the electric chair.

I understand the intention of the tale - humanity lives in all of us. Empathy shouldn’t be reserved just for some. Death is final and it comes for all of us. What I struggled with was trying to understand if this was blatant reference to King’s personal stance on the Death Penalty (against it, obvs) or something more subtle. Should we take away that killing is wrong no matter what? Or that there is more nuance at play here?

Because there’s more happening on the green mile than just murderers dying (no matter how dramatically) in the chair comically nicknamed “ol’ sparky”. We’ve got John Coffey in chains, convicted of raping and murdering two 9 year old girls. JFC. I just can’t.

But he did, and he will die for his crimes. Here’s where the controversy around this novel begins. John Coffey is a large black man with magical powers. Spike Lee specifically calls out King publicly for this “magical negro” trope, which honestly I can’t disagree with. Dick Halloran from The Shining and Mother Abigail from The Stand fall neatly in this bucket as well. But even as I type this I know I am cherry-picking; I’ve read plenty of King stories with mystical beings and they’re mostly white (or more often other worldly). But King’s repeated use of the n-word and other racial slurs in his writing is real cringeworthy. As I move further towards his 21st century writing I keep hoping this will stop. It hasn’t yet, as of 1996. But King and writing about race is an entirely separate post for another day.

Back to The Green Mile; we learn that John Coffey has special healing powers when he cures the head guard, Paul Edgecomb of a UTI by grabbing his crotch. Normally this type of behavior will get ya thrown in the hole, but Paul’s so grateful he lets it slide.

Once we learn of the healing powers of Coffey, it doesn’t take Sherlock Holmes to solve the mystery. While getting arrested he cries “I tried to stop it but it was too late.” Everyone involved in the investigation assumes he means he tried to stop himself from murder but couldn’t; anyone with half a brain can deduce that someone else killed the girls; he tried to heal them. He was too late.

We’re set off to learn who really murdered the girls, but this revelation takes a backseat, at least in my mind. For me, the big mystery is; will John Coffey get executed? I’ll be honest, I hadn’t seen this movie, so I didn’t know. The phone the governor used to phone in stays-of-execution was mentioned early, so my Chekhov’s Gun senses lead me to believe it was possible. Why bother if not? Well the phone is mentioned at execution time, only to say it won’t ring. And of course it never really was a question - Coffey is a black man in the south, convicted of murdering two girls in 1932. Of course no one’s coming to save him. It’s sad. Real sad.

We’re given solace in the fact that Coffey claims he’s ready to go - his powers are too much and he’s tired. This is a nonsense cop out that provides relief to all those that understand the truth, allowing them to go on living, loving their wives and kids and casseroles. John Coffey should not have died. The end. 

Things are wrapped up in a bow with the end stories of everyone involved and their timely and untimely deaths. I guess that’s it; life sucks, then you die; death can come for you in any way, without discrimination.

I earmarked what is one of my favorite lines I’ve encountered so far in King’s work.

“We had once again succeeded in destroying what we could not create.”

Executing anyone (murderer or not) takes a toll on most of the prison staff. I just loved this so much on so many levels; they are men without the ability to create life; they are not god; they are mortals stealing mortality. So beautiful.

So, it’s no stretch to call this the brother of Shawshank, but at least we get a female character in Paul Edgecomb’s wife. I don’t remember her name so that’s not great. But she was a woman and she at least was there, so it gets knocked up a few rungs from Shawshank IMHO.

I’d have to say this is one King novel that really perplexed me. I suppose I got into the routine of enjoying typical good-vs-evil tales where the good guys eventually overcome. For me, The Green Mile wasn’t green at all but a wavering shade of grey I still can’t see properly.

(Side note: As I sat down to write this, I thought to myself “I’m not sure what I’ll say about The Green Mile.” Turns out, quite a bit, this is probably one of my longest entries. Who knew?)

8/10

First Line: This happened in 1932, when the state penitentiary was still at Cold Mountain.

Last Line: I know that, but sometimes, oh God, the Green Mile is so long.

Adaptations:

Like it’s brother Shawshank Redemption, I had never seen this movie before. It made it’s run through awards season in 1999, mostly for Michael Clarke Duncan’s portrayal of John Coffey. Who later tragically died of a heart attack with his girlfriend Omarosa (of Trump WH fame) which I didn’t know, but good golly, that is another sad story for another day.

Listen, this is a highly regarded movie that’s on many top lists, so I won’t stab into it too hard. But it is SO LONG.

Frank Darabont got his panties all in a bunch when folks told him a 3 hour running time was too long, claiming that if 2 hours was the correct length of a film that cinema classics like Lawrence of Arabia were invalidated. Well guess what? I’ve seen Lawrence of Arabia, and yes that shit is too. damn. long. As is The Green Mile.

One would think that with 3+ hours of material, the character development would be on point. It’s not really; the prisoners are mostly glossed over (even more so than in the book) as lovable murders. Wild Bill is the exception (overacted by Sam Rockwell), and he serves as the sole real “bad guy”. 

Edgecomb and his other prison guards are painted as saints (again, minus one guard who takes on the “bad guy of the good guys” role). If the book was grey the movie is much more black and white. Tom Hanks for president for sure, the guy is a national treasure. But they were one step away from giving him an actual halo. As someone complicit in the murder of an innocent man, I just can’t declare his character for sainthood. The real Tom Hanks, a million times yes. Paul Edgecomb? Nah.

The movie is fine. I approve of Darabont’s relationship with King and have thoroughly enjoyed their previous collaborations. I was sad to see that he let his film rights to The Long Walk expire last year, picked up by New Line and James Vanderbilt (of Vanderbilt fortune... old money... sigh) who penned Zodiac, which leaves me slightly hopeful but assume it’ll trickle back into development limbo for the remainder of eternity.

I’ve already finished my next read, Desperation and after I slog through the 2.5 hour ABC miniseries (UGH) I will keep trucking. New Year, more pressure placed on myself to plow through the back half of King’s bibliography.

#book review #movie review #the green mile

[celtrist]

I actually like how this came out, she was pretty fun to draw. Besides her stupid dress, had difficulties with it for some reason. The funny thing here though is that I wasn't going to continue drawing this until I did her hand, because it looked so darn good, I couldn't let it go to waste. I actually plan on doing a redesign of her for fun, so maybe keep a look out for that. So little talk here. I was talking to my sister one day and we got onto the topic of Sonic 06, a game famous for it's glitches, confusing story, and just bad game play. Although I will admit it's pretty bad and one the worst games in the sonic series, I did enjoy playing it. And I was by myself playing it mind you, which really tells about my low standards. I myself encountered few glitches and kinda RP'd in my head instead of acknowledging the actual story. I mainly remember RPing the Rouge and Silver levels the most for some reason. Anyway, getting back on track, I mentioned to her that I wanted to write something as to how the story could've been better in the game. There was also something about making a comic or story of my take on Sonic 06, and maybe I'll get to it someday, but not today. No, today we'll be taking a look on a character who, many agree, has a weird relationship with the blue blur himself. I'll be looking into her personality/character as well as her relationship with Sonic since, you really cannot gloss over that when you're talking about her. Now I will talk about what I think of the character here and there, but I plan a majority to be on just improving this character, that is to say she needs improvements. So let's start with looks I guess. Which, this will be something that is my opinion. And my opinion is that I enjoy her design. It looks very nice. I mean, one could say it lacks color, but elegance is primarily used with the color white. And Elise is supposed to be elegant. There's really not much to say here. At worst, I just don't think the outfit is exactly interesting. And Elise as a character looks kinda bland. Like, just take her out of those clothes and put her in something else, then she'd just look like an average citizen. I guess you can't do much with human characters when you're comparing them with multicolored creatures. Okay, now that's over, let's get into her actual character. So, instead of saying what her history/personality/etc. is, I'll just direct you to Fandom Power where they explain her personality in detail. All done reading? Your noggin full of information? Alright! So I actually want to address the whole dead parent thing. I don't particularly have a problem with this seeing that they would be pretty pointless to have in the first place. Like, what would they do? Stand around telling Sonic to "Hey, get our daughter back", wow, parents of the year. And it doesn't really effect Elise's character, she isn't going around moping about her parents' deaths. If she is, she better dress up like a bat. With her history leads us to probably her most important moment in her life, having Iblis sealed within her. I, along with plenty, find this stupid. But maybe it's not Iblis being sealed within her is stupid, it's that she cannot cry. Like, that is just something you do not have control of. If you're gonna cry, you're gonna cry. No way around it. Especially when this happened when she was a kid, and kids cry quite a bit in their childhood. I mean, she can't even see some movies because of this probably. I am saying here and now that she probably has not seen The Lion King. But what can we do to fix this? Well, she does have to have some importance besides carrying around a chaos emerald, which she doesn't actually do for too long. I think that sealing Iblis within her, even though it sounds ridiculously dark, should stay. I mean, there really isn't anything else you can do with that. If this isn't it, then Elise is practically useless. I mean, another thing is that Iblis is sealed in like a box or something and Elise is somehow the key. Yeah, really uh, really doesn't sound as interesting. I mean, the only ways she could be 'the key' is either some kind of body/voice scanner or she has to sing a certain song or something. Really, what else is there? But instead of having "she cannot cry" rule, how about we have the "she cannot die" rule. Because one can see how that probably males a little more sense than crying. And y'know what would be kinda cool? Maybe Iblis cannot go 'full form' yet and takes over Elise's body when she's dead? Like, it's just a walking force of destruction with it having SOME powers. Think of the confliction Sonic would have fighting it? It would be interesting I think. Or maybe not, maybe it should just be Iblis just being released and not taking over Elise's body. And here's another thing, don't have her know about Iblis. Just let the 'Iblis being sealed in Elise thing' be uncovered as the game goes on. Why does she need to know? Well, she needs to know in the actual game because of crying and all that, but if the whole crying thing wasn't a problem, why tell her? She has no need to know. It's stated in her personality that she is 'like any typical confused and anxious young woman.', well, things trying to kill her and Eggman going after will make her confused. And hey, she can still get captured by Eggman! He won't know how to release Iblis after all! But hey, let's go back to that personality tid-bit! Her personality, in short, seems uninteresting for this type of character. The whole "She fakes her happiness but is secretly always sad on the inside" seems WAY too edgey. Like, I get it, but come on. But the whole "kind-hearted, sweet, and genuinely cares about her country and its citizens" thing is rather bland as well. Don't get me wrong, I think you can do these characteristics well. It just seems bland to me for Elise. Not to mention, always sad? Did she never have a good birthday party or watch any good mov- oh yeah, she can't watch those. I do like the idea of her having a somewhat unstable mind. I mean, for the Elise in the game, makes a lot of sense. She is the one thing that, with a single tear, would end the world. I'm pretty sure that would make anyone's mindset a little off. But what about for OUR Elise? Well, the off mindset, admittedly, would not make very much sense. Those would be visions where she would have no clue what's going on. But, Iblis could always try to show these images and do other things to her mind to make her, and be aware for a quick mention on a heavy topic, suicidal. But since this is a Sonic game, at most this would be an implied idea. I mean, Sonic games can get dark and metaphorical from time to time, but they don't get into heavy stuff about mentality. Though, seeing Sonic go into an unstable mentality would be interesting... oh, um, m-moving on. I do think her little visions could be optional as they wouldn't effect her character too much besides just being really confused by them. But hey, we never talked about her ACTUAL personality she should have! So, maybe it could just stay with the nice, loving her country personality still, excluding how sad she actually is on the inside part. Or we could have a more... quirky princess. Nice, loves her country, blah, blah, blah, sure, we can keep that. But let's ADD. Elise, maybe, shouldn't be as elegant as she looks. If her time with Sonic was the happiest she has ever been, let's make her crave adventure. She doesn't want to sit on the throne, no! She wants to go and do things out there in the world! Maybe she should act relaxed! And yes, I meant act as in acting. She is an heir to the throne of an entire nation, she'd probably be worried and anxious about all those responsibilities and her image she would have to keep. And as said earlier, maybe she doesn't want to rule? She can still love her country dearly, even giving herself up to protect it, but it doesn't mean she wants to rule. That would give us a bittersweet ending where she still ends up becoming the queen, which she would NOT want, but the world is safe (plus she wouldn't know Sonic, but that's besides the point). Her happiest times would still be with Sonic sense he's taking her on an adventure, something she would have wanted a long time ago. And hey, her time with Sonic would also be the time she finds she doesn't want to be the queen. Maybe she would talk about something she actually wanted to do in her life. Going around the world, maybe something involving a hobby of hers like dancing, singing, writing, drawing, or really anything! Is it that important to the overall story? Well obviously not, but it would be important to Elise's character. Let's move onto what Elise is most known for, crushing on the hedge- I MEAN... actually, that's pretty much it. So I'll start with my thoughts on it. I, admittedly, find them as a somewhat cute 'couple'. What I mean is that I like their relationship going in three ways: - Sonic and Elise and good friends - Elise crushes on Sonic, but sonic doesn't feel the same way - Or the opposite of what I said above, Sonic crushes on Elise, but Elise doesn't feel the same way Have no clue why, but I always like that one-sided love scenario. But allow me to actually defend the duo being in a relationship. So, in our standards as humans of THIS world, animals and people should not go together, which they really shouldn't. Bestiality is very wrong. BUT, think of THEIR world. A world filled with both humans and mobians, animals that are essentially human. I'm sure, in their world, there have been plenty of couples made up of one mobian and one human. It may be weird to us, but think about it. Would it be specieist/racist to say "Those two shouldn't be able to be a couple legally?" They are BOTH sentient beings who act the same. Just, one has a tail and ears. In fact, I'm sure there's debate on this topic in their world. But, that's a WHOLE other topic we can discuss later. I will say that, in no way am I supporting bestiality. It's not right, and it's just really gross and- ugh, I don't even have the words. But I'm thinking in terms of the Sonic world, it's fairly normal or at least there's sides that say mobians and humans should not go together while others say its fine. Plus, they are video game characters. But I'll just go ahead and drop that topic here. I feel like I talked about it more than needed. But to make this short, I think the best decision would to be just keep them as friends to avoid, well, what happened with the complaints and such. I personally am fine with one of the three relationships I like, but that's because I like all three of those scenarios. But um, maybe no kissing at the end. That was really weird still and doesn't make much sense. Plus, she'd be too dead to kiss Sonic if we're going by the Elise we made. Now, this WAS going to be the part where I actually would talk about some possible gameplay for her! Yes, I imagine our Elise to be somewhat playable! But, I'll save that for the redesign I plan because this is getting LONG.  I know I left out somethings like "If Elise is dead and/or possessed by Iblis, how does she reset the world?" or "Should the aesthetics change?", which to that last one I'll answer now. I imagine our Elise, and essentially our Sonic 06, wouldn't answer the question of "What would it be like if sonic was in our world?" I already know that, they would be terrifying. I think it would be better to maybe go off on a more Sonic/cartoony look, maybe like Sonic unleashed. But, what about your thoughts? I'm sure I could've done her personality better, maybe give your thoughts on that or any other part of the Elise I described? Or maybe you have YOUR own idea for how Elise should be, go on and share it then! Or maybe Elise is nonredeemable to you? Why don't you tell us why? Or, is Elise already great as is? I'm sure you all have your own opinion on the relationship between her and Sonic! I can't wait to read what you all have to say and will try to respond as best I can!

#Celtrist Draws #Celtrist #Sega #sega fan art #Sonic Team #sonic #Sonic Fan art #sonic fandom #sonic fanart #Princess Elise #Princess Elise the Third #Princess Elise iii #sonic 06 #sonic 2006 #sonic the hedgehog #Celtrist writes! #A lot of words are here #Analysis #Princess Elise Analysis #Sonic Princess Elise #Sonic Elise #Sonic Princess Elise the Third #Sonic Princess Elise iii

[clementineviolet]

my informal review of twdg episode 5

i’m warning you, this is extremely long

holy shit

let me just get this out of the way and rank the possible endings. 

first, lemme rank them by my personal character preferences, as in, the characters i want alive and happy are alive and happy: 

ANY ENDING WHERE CONRAD IS ALIVE (this is partly a joke but also not because when i saw conrad’s back in the final scene after exiting the church, i fucking SCREAMED)

kate and gabe alive, david dead: this entire season, I’ve felt this desire to keep Kate and Gabe safe and happy. I had to replay LOL but I’m very happy that I ended up with them alive and happy. 

gabe alive, kate missing, david dead: While I’m confused as shit about where the hell Kate is, there’s hope she could be alive, so this ending is up there

gabe and david alive, kate dead: KATE’S DEATH IS SO SAD DONT TALK TO ME JAVI JUST SILENTLY HAVING TO PUT HER OUT OF HER MISERY FUCKING DESTROYED ME AND THEN HIM SCREAMING BYEEEEEEE

gabe alive, kate dead, david gone: SAME AS ABOVE BUT DAVID IS GONE AND AS MUCH AS HE’S AN IMPULSIVE IDIOT, I LOVE HIM AND AFTER LOSING KATE, GABE NEEDS ALL THE FAMILY HE CAN GET

gabe and david dead, kate alive: this is it, the BAD ENDING. oh my gawdddd yall I don’t want my young nephew to dieeeee. WHAT THE FUCK LIKE SERIOUSLY

now, endings by level of just really fucking well-done, whether it be heart-warming or heart-breaking

gabe and david dead, kate alive: god. what a heartbreaking ending. gabe either having to kill himself or javi choosing to do it for him. gabe either giving clem his cards (and asking for multiple hugs ;__;) or getting a kiss right before its too late. GOD. it was so sad. one of the saddest deaths in twdg history

gabe alive, kate missing, david dead: I think everyone has mixed feelings about david, I know I do... But I think that’s a good thing! As someone with a sibling, watching David die in front of Javi made me tear up even though I spent a good chunk of this game wanting to wring David’s fucking neck... “Te quiero Gabriel, te quiero Mariana, te quiero Javier...” THAT got me. And Gabe stepping up to be the one to put him out of his misery. Augh. Pain. 

gabe and david alive (or david missing), kate dead: from a story point of view, having kate die is fucking sad but (especially if javi loved her), it’s especially tragic and full-circle-ish. And I just love how the relationship between Gabe and Javi is even stronger because of this tragedy

kate and gabe alive, david dead: While to me the happiest (aside from David’s very sad death...), it seemed a little too good to be true

The more negative parts of the episode

Ava’s death was a disappointment. She wasn’t an important character to Javi, but she was to Clem and to David... it was a let-down. 

Tripp’s death was better because he was meaningful to Javi, but they really glossed over his sacrifice.

I wish I could have seen a scene where Tripp and Eleanor reunited. I think the writers kind of left us hanging regarding their relationship? I was hoping Tripp would be able to talk to her again and Eleanor would try and give them a chance again

I wish Eleanor had gotten a scene at the end of the episode, even a brief one where she is walking with Lingard if he’s alive or just helping heal people up. I would like to have seen how she’d react to Javi and his group saving the day after all, and especially to Jesus’s suggestion that Javi take charge in Richmond.

Neutral parts of the episode:

They are setting up Clem’s journey for the next season with the lack of AJ, but I wish there had been something...

No Clem flashback scene! I’ve loved the flashbacks, but surprisingly, until I started writing this review I didn’t even realize we hadn’t played as Clem, not even once. I felt fully comfortable in Javi’s shoes and I’m sad to leave his POV behind! However, I am happy to be returning (assumedly) to Clem as the playable protagonist...unless they decide to pull a Tales from the Borderlands and give us 2 more equal protags (CHRISTA AND CLEM CHRISTA AND CLEM CHRISTA AND CLEM) 

The first part of the ep seemed kinda low stakes to me. I only started feeling like “ohhhh shit people I love are gonna die” when David ran off with Gabe, but thankfully I IMMEDIATELY felt dread when the Go after Gabe vs Go with Kate choice came up

POSITIVE/FAVORITE PARTS OF THE EPISODE: 

THE COMPLEXITY OF OUR CHOICES. HOLY SHIT. I was NOT expecting how complex it would be? I don’t think anyone was. I still see people who are confused about what prior choices determine whether Clem chooses to stick with Javi, or whether Clem chooses to split up, or she chooses to go after Gabe or go with Kate no matter what. I also have no idea what triggers each of these decisions on Clem’s part. 

I like how the consequences of each of our choices is not immediately obvious when it comes to which ending we get. Like, in season 2, you know that if you killed Jane, you’re getting a Kenny ending or you can leave him behind. But if you go with Kate first, is she gonna die? Is Gabe gonna die? Is David gonna die? IT BLEW MY MIND

The little consequences of our past choices, such as: 

Clem calling us out for betraying her to Conrad in episode 2

Rufus from episode 1 showing up in episode 5 if we don’t kill him, but he’s bitten and his gal is messed up about it. Or seeing how Rufus’s death in episode 1 broke this poor gal

Lingard showing up at the end of episode 5 and telling Clem where AJ is.

CONRAD! CONRAD! CONRAD CONRAD CONRAD THE DETERMINANT FUCKING GOD. SO GOOD. FUCK. 

Gabe’s death. It’s fucked up of me to enjoy his death but it was well-fucking-done. 

One of the most poignant scenes early on in the ep was that moment on the rooftop, where David and Javi had a heart-to-heart while standing on the ledge. It revealed so much about David - how he’s a traumatized soldier, pretty much, who believes he’s living off borrowed time. He’s got PTSD. He’s afraid he’s losing his family. He’s afraid of who he is, who he’s becoming.

THE JAVI-DAVID FIGHT SCENE. COME ON. Keeping your Pa’s promise is the BEST way to go. Honestly just so good. 

I’m just gonna go ahead and say the David scenes in general, because goddamn. Javi and David’s relationship was fucking complex and it was real

Clem and Gabe’s friendship moments. I KNOW I KNOW HOW FUCKING HETEROSEXUAL OF ME (IM A FCKING LESBIAN CALM DOWN) but I thought the scene with Javi calling out Clem and Gabe’s mutual crushes and giving his blessing was really damn cute. 

Jesus and Javi flirting, obviously, we all know how I feel about that already. Telltale got Jesus SO FUCKING WELL. I absolutely love when they tackle comic book characters. 

There’s probably so many things I’m forgetting but its midnight and I’m on an emotional rollercoaster. I’ll expand more in my general season 3 review

#twdg spoilers