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lilywily143 · 1 year

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Live Blog Number 2

Murder Drones Episode 4: Cabin Fever

Just to say it, I love N's hat in the Thumbnail. I hope to see Khan at least once

CAMP 98.7, with a school bus coming up

There is a robot riding the bus like a cowboy and that's goofy

Oh it's definally the main protag's class. I see her fire head [literally] classmate making light in the bus XD

THEY ALL HAVE GOOFY COLORED HATS AWW

oh don't you dare tell me Lizzy and Thad are friends idk if I am happy or not

Awww Uzi [protag] has a backpack with bat wings

Oh gosh Khan!!

And wow he and a lot of people were at the camp when humans were alive

Collars Uzi and Doll have have numbers?

Oh gosh those are her mom's things?! SHe's a artist...?

"SKy deamon, sigularity, look at this S I can draw." It's that sharp triangle thing, that's a lot of stuff, and wow her mom is intresting

"I'm not who either of you needed" Khan no your awesome

Oooo did mom have a collar like Uzi? Well makes sence with that program

"just be safe" Khan you are the best dad I love you /p

I love the teachers straw hat and also Uzi made this field trip a thing! Must be about the pictures she found

HAH She didn't want a field trip, the teacher just saw it as a exsuse to make the other's grades go up. SO they are stuck with miss "crazy"

AHHHHHH N AND V ARE COUNCLERS I LOVE THEM EEE N I LOVE YOU AND V IS SO NONCHALANT I JUST LOVE THEM

Oh gah a kid fainted at them..... I don't blame them... oh wait V shot them as a warning for others... Of course she did

Yeah, be mad at V, N. "Minus 1"

So the trio of V N and Uzi are making the others do crap for their own investigation? Cool! And Uzi was so flattered at that aww

Ooo Lizzy and Thad helping the trio!!?? YES

"Anything for my bestie" Lizzy, you really seem to be a bit better

I love how V always has her claws out, she don't care

Nawww Uzi calling them friends with her blush AND a :3 smile. That was the best thing ever, so far

Someone called N a little guy even thou he is super tall. Not complaining

Oh they think the Murder Drones are defective and that's why they are nice. Hhh

V is trying so hard to not kill for Uzi, I love that for her but man she will lose it later.

Rebacca don't you dare flirt with N

Uzi, doing her work. But leaving the murder drones to the class. Hope it's okay

ooo human buildings

ooo she's getting good at her Absolute Solver Program Powers and oh no a bug

Hah I love this calander Uzi found "EVACUTE ALL DOGS: JUST IN CASE SOMEONG BAD HAPPENS IDK <- Cool we did that that's canon. Also all dogs are immortal now! THANKS TO SCIENCE"

AND UZI WAS SO RELIVED TO READ THAT MY GOSH YOU KNOW WHAT DOGS ARE?!

HAND HAND HAND HUMAN HAND A SCREAM?! SOMETHINGS GONNA HAPPEN

hhhhh that gave me a heart attack, the class got close to wear Uzi is investigating and shessh. But what's with the hand?

Two robots are holding a boat with Lizzy and V on top. WHat a ship hah

And Rebacca, stop. flirting. with. N. He has no intrest with you!

V is actually being light hearted, that's really cute to see.

"I CAN'T SWIM" The lake is frozen over -_- ANd of course N "saved" her like the sweetie he is

Uzi, breathe! "High Temp"!oh no this aint good

ohhh nooo She took a robot hand to EAT but her drone type shouldn't have that urge. Uzi please

Oh V thanks for checking on her...

YOU SRACTHED UZI'S FACE PLATE!?

Don't you dare make Uzi insecre with her friend making skills and then LEAVE ALL NONCHALANT!? V WHAT IS WITH YOU?!

ok, Well Uzi helped repair a little bug. That's nice

She gave it the salute as it left, naww

hhh a dead robot under the floorboards, thanks bug for going there, I guess

okay more creepy drawings, mabye Uzi's mom. ALso "THIS SIDE IN INTENTIONALLY LEFT BLANK" yet that text is on it XD

Cool looking claw nail in the paper

wait, a green bug variety. The others were always red

IT MAKES EMOTES IN TEXT BUBBLES oh gosh wait "SUBMIT TIMECARD | PTO REQUEST | REGISTER TORTURE CHAMBER COMPLAINT | END MY SUFFERING (PROMO OFFER DISCONTINUED) | CALL ELAVATOR" What the freak?!?!

The bug heard Uzi and sent in in the chat

AHHH DOLL HOLOGRAM NO

hhh back to the class with Archery!

Aww N is so cute, "Did I.. Cheat?" No your just a pro

well, V didn't kill that one, but I think she is about to....!

Uzi is back-ish, she showed N the chatting bug

Aww well, N tried. "Don't tell V I'm Here" "Uzi is that you? Get over here... WAIT NO REFLEXES!"

igybhuoinjefbvhnjk UZI WHAT DID YOU DO?!?! SHE MADE A CREPPY DRAWING CREATURE WITH THE PROGRAM BY ACCIDENT!!! WHAT THE FUCK IT'S SO GROSS!!

OH GOSH V MAY RECONISE IT?!

NO UZI DON"T RUN YOU NEED HELP!!

BREATHE UZI DON"T EAT THE ARM OH GOSH UZI CALM DOWN

SHE CAN"T CONTROL THE PROGRAM IT MADE ANOTHER CREEPY DRAWING CRITTER AHH UGH THE NOISES

oh gosh back to class, V wants to kill UZi but N defends like a good friends. And Lizzy pulled her phone out to record...

"SHE'S A KID, LIKE US V" gosh they really are kid robos

N is going to find Uzi and sheesh V really won't talk about what the thing she won't talk about is.

"Hot... Not Hot? You're to good for him" Lizzy, they aren't dating at this point.

Rebacca, what was with that look to V??? /genuinly oh wait she left the area with her bf [oh yeah also, why flirt with N if you have this un named guy??]

They found Uzi's investigation place, and now hidey hole. Stay safe

Hhhhh so much grossness is around the place

Uzi's flashlight, where is she?

SHE HAS BAT WINGS HERSELF NOW SHE HAS THE DISSASABALLY DRONE SYMBOL ON HER FACE LIKE N AND V SOMETIMES DO!!!! FUCK NO

oh gosh wait N is in the next scence and it made me think.... The current Murder Drones has wings that are bone-like, but Uzi's were bat-fleshy.... Did N, V, and also J have a fleshy look before the flashback scene in the piolt??? Did something happen to make the metal structure underneath appear?

N is in the hidey hole. PLZ PLZ be safe

Wait is it the same, there seems to be a lot more tech. or is this further in the house Uzi found???

"Zombie Drones!!!" A training video.... Oh fuck what is Uzi actually??

hhhh N got flashbacks of a girl, a lone hand, and the core situatinon talked in the piolt..

UZI GOSH! SHE IS DEVOURING THOSE ROBOTS AND SHE CAN'T HANDLE IT IN HER BODY! N FIND HER NOW

Oh no something escaped the house and it isn't Uzi on a rampage. CRAP IT"S WHAT A ZOMBIE DRONE WILL BE WON'T IT

back to class... they are roasting battieres over a fire.. clever

Rebacca's upper half came to the class!! Not a zombie drone yet gahh

"Unpopular, purple hair, hot topic." You don't remember her name so this is what you say!? Rebacca you suck

Uzi what are you doing here?

Oh gosh she really looks like a murder drone now but fleshy...

Where is Thad? He's been gone for a while.

"That's not what the book said" What does that mean?

oh hoho Uzi looks quite epic but I know this isn't good for her. She is killing them

HHH Uzi is using a body as a puppet for BAIT

V IS HERE TO SAVE THE DAY AND LIZZY YES

"killing her, not saving you." "okaaay Mom" V and Liz have a fun bond

hhhh don't kill Uzi PLZ ahhh she wants to talk to N my heartttt

UZI'S TAIL HAS A MOUTH AHHH GROSS

UZI BROKE V'S ARM AHH UZI'S TAIL BITE OFF V'S TAIL AFHBEWBLFJK

NNNNNN N YAH!!!

"Easy there buddy." *is stabbed in hand by Uzi* "Hahah ow" HE'S SO NON CHALANT RIGHT NOW AND AHH N I LOVE U

N and V are really just siblings

HHhh N is so sweet trying to help Uzi, who YEAH she's acting normal. aka tsndere

"You weren't with me to make it fun, somehow." N YOU SWEETHEART

EEEE He is so sweet, making a puppet with her tail, and her little giggles at it <333

She tried it to <33333

oh gosh right they were talking while falling [did I not mention that N threw Uzi in the air? idk why he did but it happened, i just thought she'd come back down immediatly]

Oh V has a fixed arm and is ready to kill.

N held Uzi at the last second he is so nice.

hhh his happy little face holding Uzi in such a close hug

[N is the pink blob] I love this robot /p

V stood down. Yes

Lizzy is back to sass V up a little, nice

Aww V smiled at Lizzy behind her back in such a sencire way.

the bus leaves the camp

HHHH Uzi sleeping on N's shoulder and N is sleeping too and the little green bug is with them AAA

Hh V pulling a excuse for Uzi about the missing kids

Oh gosh the sun hurts Uzi now like N!! Oh gosh she really is a flesh murder drone.

hhh she held N's hand in her sleep but N was too shy to hold it back ahh

He still has the Zombie Drones VHS...

~and credits

#LilyWily Post #Murder Drones #murder drones spoilers #Murder Drones episode 4

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eriquin · 6 months

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The Prophetic D&D Game, Part 16

Start of the 5th session. Time marches on.

(master post)

Part 16

It felt like the home stretch for Eddie’s third and final senior year. He was determined to graduate this time, and putting all his effort into getting his grades up. Well, almost all his effort. He still spared time for his band, his lucrative sales job, and his two epic Dungeons and Dragons games. The Cult of Vecna was going great, and he expected that they would wrap up the Tales of the Cursed after it was done. But other than that, he was focused.

He was going over his notes for what to do next with Vecna when Grant tapped him on the shoulder. “Jeff can’t make it today,” he said. “He broke an arch wire and has to go to the orthodontist. Emergency and all.”

Eddie sighed. “Well, guess I won’t be needing these notes, then,” he said, shoving the Vecna notes into his bag. Grant raised his eyebrows and tried to get a look, but Eddie snapped his fingers in his face and shook his head. “Don’t even try it, Grantham.”

“Just keeping you on your toes, Edwin,” Grant said. “So this means we’re going to find out what happens to Natalia, then?”

“In theory,” Eddie said. He flashed Grant a wicked grin. “I might just kill her off and skip to the next bit of plot.”

Grant pouted. “Don’t be an ass,” he said. “At least give me a chance to save her. It’s been bugging me since the last session.”

“Yeah? You’re enjoying the story, huh?” Eddie shuffled through his notes to make sure he had everything for the Cursed run. “Did you give Jeff something sticky to eat just so he’d break his braces and we’d get to play?”

“No, but I was thinking about it,” Grant said. “We need more hours in the day, man. I want to know what happens with the cult, too.”

“Here, here,” Eddie said. He produced his Cursed notes and rearranged his stuff before heading to the drama room. Grant followed him. “Oh, did you pick up the new Metallica album? I have been listening to it over and over since I got it. It’s mind blowing.”

The rest of the club was running late, and Eddie and Grant got the whole table set up before anyone else showed. Gareth was the first of them to arrive, and he looked confused when he saw the layout that Eddie had put on the battlemap. He quickly figured out that they were playing the Cursed, and rubbed his hands together in excitement. He and Grant started discussing theories about the demon and how Natalia had ended up cursed. Eddie sat back and kept his face neutral as he listened in.

The three freshmen arrived together, arguing about something science related. They dropped it almost as soon as they got in the room and saw Eddie holding up their character sheets. Lucas let out a whoop. He had clearly missed playing Sadie.

As they settled down to play the game, Eddie gave them a quick recap of what had happened so far. It hadn’t been that long, but it was useful to set the stage and get back into character. “So now that you’re all ready to escape the demon realm, Natalia has frozen and gone into a trance. Before I take Grant aside and tell him what’s going on in his character’s head, what are you all doing?”

“We need music, right? Do any of us know her favorite song?” Gareth asked.

Dustin leaned forward. “We’re in Quinn’s house, right? He’s a bard. He probably has plenty of music and instruments around. Either he or I should be able to play something for her.”

“Yeah, sure, but that doesn’t tell us what song to play,” Gareth said. “Mike, wouldn’t Joe know her favorite song?”

Mike snapped his fingers. “Yeah! Sure, definitely.” He looked at Eddie.

Eddie shrugged. “I don’t know, man. You guys broke up a long time ago. Maybe it was for a good reason.” He held his hands out helplessly. “Make me a good intelligence check there, sparky.”

Mike picked up his die and blew on it for luck. He rolled, and got a pathetically bad number. Everyone groaned and started yelling at Mike, who complained about his dice hating him.

Eddie stood and leaned over the table to look at them all, waiting until they quieted down. “Grant, I think it’s time you and I adjourned to my office. Shall we?”

His office was the corner of the drama room, behind a folding screen. Grant brought his dice. He ran through a scenario of Natalia witnessing a young family moving into a sprawling mansion from the point of view of the only son. Grant quickly figured out that this was the Englund mansion that they’d explored, and the boy was the dead son. Grant was great for this, because he loved to sit and gather information before acting. He had Natalia watch as the young boy narrated the events of his life, and developed a twisted set of powers. It quickly became clear that he was responsible for his family’s deaths, and that his father had been unjustly blamed. He showed Natalia the way he had been made into a pawn for the wizard’s guild, just like their psychic sorceress friend.

“Still as a young boy, he is confined to a chair and imbued with a mystical tattoo. It looks much like Millie’s, but while hers a lambda, his is an alpha,” Eddie said.

“The first one,” Grant said.

“Indeed. He was the first psychic they found, and because of him, they started looking for more. But he was just biding his time, and they could not control him.”

“Oh, damn,” Grant said. He grabbed his dice. “Okay, I need to get the hell out of here. Can I run?”

“You can try.”

They went through a short combat, and Natalia ended up with psychic damage, but ultimately, the villain let her go. “He tells you to tell Millie that he’s coming for her, and that he’ll see her again soon,” Eddie said, clapping his hand on Grant’s shoulder. “Now, let’s go let the rest of them know that you survived.”

Taglist: @weirdandabsurd42, @10moonymhrivertam, @blueskiesandstarrynights

#the prophetic d&d game #hellfire club #my writing #stranger things

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migeviellardi · 3 years

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Out Of Comfort

Genre : Adventure, Action, Humour, Hurt/Comfort

Summary : 2 years after the 'you-know-who’, Donnie struggles to adjust with the new way of life. The precarious science blocks are back haunting him, putting him in total stress while he tried his best to keep up with the new team play and co’ord.

Chapter 2 A New Start

Welding felt relaxing, the sound of tiny sparks are like a music to Donnie’s ears. It might not be a real music, but it’s melodious nonetheless. Donnie lifted up his googles, leans back to catch a break. He almost done fixing the hover shell, not the one from yesterday, the one that he kept fixing and fixing away, despite there’s nothing wrong with it.

The one he used last night was a prototype of a new model. It still looks the same as the old ones, but he did made a few upgrades on them. It was definitely frustrating when it got busted. He’s planning to use it more since it felt lighter than the old one. But, now he needs a new shell to wear on a patrol.

He looks at the battleshell charging station. What left there was his worn down Spider-shell. Below it was none other than his wrecked and broken shells that he hadn’t repair, yet. He let out a sad sigh, he looked around him to find that his lab are somewhat cleaner, much cleaner than he remembered. Usually the lab was littered with piles upon piles of inventions, blueprints, scattered metal parts, and energy drinks.

Now, it seems as if it was untouched. The sleek metallic purple walls with LEDs are still looks fresh and new. The floor was free from dust due to the roombas roam freely without bumping into any tech pieces. And the workbench,....empty. Only his old battleshell that he kept tinkering that are currently there. Also, a cup of coffee.

Donnie about to take a sip when he realized it was ran out. He inspect the glass and saw small coffee drips down the mug got frozen in place due to a long time exposed to the AC. How long have he been there without refilling his coffee? Does he been getting the science block again?

Putting down the mug, he rubbed his tired eyes in frustration. Was he being unproductive on purpose? What is he doing here? Why can’t he finish anything?

“Hey.” the voice made him jumped, he looked back to see Leo stood on the doorway. “Whoa, it’s okay. Just a little old me.” Leo held his hands out. Donnie frowned, he turned back to his hover shell.

“What do you want, Leo?”

“It’s training time, Don. Better not coop yourself up in the lab, or I’ll let Raph drag your shell to the Dojo.” Leo ordered as he left towards the Dojo. Donnie sighed heavily, he stood up and followed him. He admit, there’s nothing else he would do, science blocks are the worst and it became a daily routine ever since their Lair was smushed to smithereens. And, the fact that he hate to obey the words Leo told him to.

He wasn’t questioning his leadership skills. If Donnie allowed himself to be honest, the Slider actually knows what he’s doing, good at it in fact. Raph at first had a hard time to adjust, now the former leader putting his trust to Leo, even Mikey approved. Donnie, however, still adapting.

It wasn’t because that he hate to admit it, it just doesn’t sits right putting the leader role to the one who usually pulled some poor one-liners out of spite and keeps bugging your work with some pranks, jokes and poking on things that could cause explosions like it was some kind of a job, because if it is, he good some pretty good records he might get himself some promotions.

And now, the true color of the team seems to emerge. We got the Leader, The Muscle, The Heart and The Brain. Although, The Brain more likely The Brain-Dead one. Stupid science block keeping him from thinking straight, not much idea that pops out other than upgrading, or upgrading the upgrade, or upgrading the upgraded upgrade.

It might be some improvement for anyone, but for the one with the giant science head-cannon looming inside his head, that’s barely even an add-on. He’s unproductivity hurts him, as if the genius inside suddenly just wanted to stop, no more mad scientist mambo-jumbo. He felt it once again, the feeling that he had gone rotten, expired, outdated.....useless.

Seriously, what will he be for the team without his big brain? What can he do other than getting kicked in the booty several times that let your little brother saves your sorry butt?

If once again, he got knocked down and having Mikey, of all people saves him, he’s going to lose his mind.

###

“Alright, my sons. Now, let us begin to--Purple, where’s your battleshell?” they stared at Donnie in his bare-shell. He rolled his eyes, dejected.

“I’ll be fine, Dad. I’m not going to hurt myself.”

“Nono, my son. I believe you, it’s just....weird seeing you without one.” Splinter simply said, trying not to offend his purple son.

“Well, it’s in repair, and my shoulders are getting tired. So....” Donnie didn’t have to finish his sentence to earned a nod from his father.

“Verywell, then. Let us start,....now!” as on cue, the whole Dojo became dark. The brothers immediately forming back to back formation, weapons at their hands, full caution. “Hamatos carries essence of life, the Ninpo. Or what most common people called them, mystics.”

Raph sense a movement to his right, Splinter came in with a kick. Mikey saw the offense, he blocked the kick, swung his nunchaku to Splinters head. The rat dodged it with ease. Upon landing, Raph coming in clutch with his fist. Splinter jumps back into the darkness. “Some may think that it is the most essential in fighting.”

The turtles back to their formation, listening to every sound to pinpoint the next attack. “Others, prefer something else.” a tail emerge from the darkness. Donnie shielded himself with his bo, the tail wrapped around the wooden weapon. Donnie expected the attempt of pulling, he pulled harder, forcing Splinter to show up. Leo anticipated Donnie’s strategy, he swung his sword at the same time Donnie ducked.

Splinter didn’t expect the timing between the two, but he flawlessly avoided himself from being cut in half. Splinter pulled out a smoke bomb and threw it onto the ground. The smoke caused them to cough, which means distractions. They have no choice but to bail on their formation.

“There will be a time where mystic powers will do no good.” Leo sense presence near him. He ducked down to escape another kick. “So, you must focus on your own ability.” He tail swipe Leo’s katanas, leaving him unarmed.

“Agility.” Splinter increases his speed, offering punches and kicks towards the turtle. Leo dodged every attack, seamlessly evading and parrying every blow. He counter-attacked Splinter’s punch, delivering a fist to his face. Splinter caught his hand and kicked Leo away, disappearing into the dark.

“Strength.” Raph blocked a powerful kick out of Splinter, pushed him back a meter. Another tail swipe, Raph let it wrapped on his hand and threw his dad away.

“Speed.” Splinter took a punch from what seems to be Mikey’s fist. Splinter blocked his next punch, only met with a swipe kick a second after. Mikey swung his nunchakus with unimaginable speed. Splinter steps up his game to blocked a series of attacks that his youngest son often called it ‘Razzmatazz’. He manage to grabbed both nunchakus and threw orange from the fight.

“And, Instinct.” Donnie dodged a powerful kick launches towards him. He swings his bo just in time to meet Splinter’s punch. Once again, he disappeared. Donnie waited, trying to hear the footsteps. Behind you! He turns to blocked another powerful kick, this time it was too much to hold, it sent Donnie flying to a nearby wall. He winced and panted, adjusting his weight to his bo.

The lights turned on, Splinter ran towards him. “I’m fine!” his voice sounded a bit too loud. Splinter flinched, he’s unsure if the pain was bearable, but he knows well how stubborn his purple son can be. He decided to let it go, “You did better, my son. If you did not block that last kick, you might get yourself hurt even more.” He thought that he should apologize, but he didn’t think purple would appreciate that.

“Alright, take a break all of you.” he put both of his hands on his back, cracking it forward. “Ugh, while I tend to my bad back, you may have some spar with each other.” he walked away while rubbing his back.

“Hey, Raphie. Wanna spar with me?” Mikey asked excitedly. Raph smiled, accepting the challenge.

“Sure thing, Mikey.” Raph readied up. Mikey activates his mystic chains and whips the nunchaku to Raph, wrapping his whole body. Raph blinks before he was pulled away.

“AAAAHHH!!!” a lod crash was heard. Leo smirks at the scene. Donnie gathers back his bearings and prepared for the sparring.

“Leo?” the slider slowly turns with his smug face. Donnie’s on his pose, “Care to join?” giving him the serious look. Leo kept his usual expression as he readied himself. Donnie strikes first, jabbing his bo to his head, Leo tilted his head to dodge. Donnie swings, Leo parried them with his katanas. He gave more barraging swings, Leo’s agility gives him the advantage. He dodged, parried him with literal ease.

Leo still using the same face. “What’s wrong, Dee-man? Can’t catch little Leo?” Donnie frowned. He swung, Leo blocked and kicked him in the gut. Donnie yelped, Leo sent another kick to the face. Donnie fell to the floor, shaking his head from the mild headache. Leo knelled down, “Aww, had enough already?”

Donnie growled. He swung to his leg, Leo had expected that. He got up and sent more swing barrage, this time a lot faster and more frantic. Leo parried a lot more on this one, but didn’t change the expression on his face. Donnie downward, Leo blocked it. Eyes meeting eyes. “Come on, Don. Is that all? I can definitely fight you blind-folded.”

Donnie’s patience grew thin. He didn’t have to tell him that. He knows he can, and he might will one day.

Donnie pushed him back, now anger are definitely involved. Leo step up his game some more every time Donnie pulled off some new combos and new speed and variety. Donnie looked at him in the face.

Shut up.

He was parried by another sword.

Shut Up!

He can’t beat him.

Shut Up!!!

He’ll never catch up to them.

Shut UP!!!!

He’s not good enough.

“SHUT UP!!!!!”

Leo flinched. Donnie panting hard, hands gripping tightly to his bo. Eyes fixated at Leo, as if he’s ready to kill. Raph and Mikey stunned by Donnie’s shouting.

Donnie growled for real, this time. The deep reptilian growl filled his throat with his fang showing up menacingly. Donnie engaging his predator side, Leo held out his hand.

“Okay, calm down, Dee. There’s no need to continue this with violence. Okay?”

“GRRRR!!!” Donnie attacks Leo with full intention. Leo no longer wanting to fight, he dodged every move Donnie makes. It was fast and chaotic, more like trying to hurt rather than spar.

“Donnie, STOP!!!”

“GRAAAHH!!!”

Raph blocks Donnie’s bo. “Donnie, knock it off!!!”

“Please calm down!” Mikey plead. Donnie ignored them all, he charged at Raph with blind rage. Raph dodged the jab, throw his fist at Donnie. He didn’t dodge, letting it hit his face. Donnie growled deeply, eyes as sharp as needle. Raph was stunned, he didn’t expect Donnie to accept the hit. He felt guilty for hurting his little brother.

Splinter ran back after being called by Mikey. “Purple!!”

Donnie saw an opening on Raph, he charge in while Raph refused to move. Leo tackled Donnie and pinned him to the ground. He refused to back down and squirmed his way to freedom as Leo gripped his limbs for dear life.

“Donatello!!!”

Leo, Raph and Donnie startled by his father’s voice.

“Enough!” Leo froze for a little while, he let go of Donnie once he felt no resistance. Donnie layed down, panting. He suddenly really exhausted. All that anger took too much energy out of him. He slowly hoist himself up to a sitting position. Splinter approached his purple son. Carefully assessing the damage around the turtle. There’s a bruise on his right cheek, might be caused by his oldest son as when he meets his eyes, he can see the guilt he’s facing.

“Purple? What is up with you?” Donnie refused to talk or making eye contact to his father. Splinter can still feel anger looming around him. Did one of the brothers ticked him off? What provokes him?

“Donatello!”

“I DON’T KNOW, OKAY!!!!” he yelled. Splinter jerked up by the sudden loud voice that felt louder to his rat ears. Donnie noticed that he went too much. “I...I just--” Donnie can’t hold back the tears that began to form in his eyes. He looked down to obscure it.

Splinter was surprised seeing his son cried. The brothers reacts the same way. Devastated seeing their usual emotionless turtle broke into tears.

Splinter held out his hand, “My son,-” Donnie swatted away his hand and ran straight to his lab. Not even the call of his name from his family can get his attention. He closed the iron-forced door of his lab, locking it immediately. Donnie sat under his desk, hugging his legs to his chest as he burst to tears. The lab was eerily quiet, the only sounds that are presence are his and the sound of his family trying to reach for him from the other side of the door.

He felt vulnerable having to broke down like this, he hates it. The way the others desperately trying to get him to open the door made it worse. He wasn’t supposed to show his weakness at the time, he’s a Hamato, a descendant of heart o’ steel. And steel has a lot influence with tech, his thing. He supposed to be able to control his feelings.

Now, his meltdown would definitely stuck in the topic for a while in this whole family situation. He knows he’s having trouble, yes he does. And he knows he needs to keep up with the others. He knows, he’s the smart one.

He tried his best, to keep up, to adjust, to be stronger, for everyone’s sake. But he can’t let his family help him with that, they all helped enough. He can’t let them once again drag their butts to fix his problems for him, no. Fixing is his thing, and he can fix his own problem by himself. Just uh, not now. He needs more time, to figure things out. His family just need to be patience, they can handle the waiting game. They’ve done this before, just like waiting for the drill out of its beta version.

He also, needs to be patience. Everything’s going to be alright, he’ll figure it out. He have to. For everyone’s sake.

###

The rest of the day passes by, quietly. Donnie had refuse to talk or eat, he sent Shelldon to grab some drinkable sustenance for him. He can handle being hungry, but thirst must be dealt with. As he recalled some research he found out that living beings can survive hunger for at least a week as long as they have enough supplies of water. Although, he can’t say the same about coffee, but not like it’s bothering him.

He waited for Shelldon to come back with a drink, his lab door still close but no longer locked. Once in a while his brothers visited him as he succumb to his depressions in his favorite purple hoodie, concealing his swollen eyes as a result from the earlier’s mental breakdown.

They talked, though they tried not to bring up of what happened in the Dojo. Leo, most of all, had a hard time keeping it cool. The red-eared slider guiltily apologized for making fun of him in training. Donnie might not talk about it, but he willing to forgive him. It wasn’t Leo’s fault that he had problems, he needs to stop playing the Blame Game.

“We love you, Don. And nobody can change that.” Leo said.

“I know.” Donnie simply replied.

His thought was broken by the sound of whirring from the purple drone who he manage to salvage, thankful that Shredder didn’t think twice and explode his core memory.

“Yo, Dee. I got the coffee for you.” the drone informed enthusiastically.

“Thanks, Shelldon.” he quietly accepted the coffee and took the first sip before once again continuing his currently favorite activity, staring an empty desk. Shelldon’s cheery attitude turned into worry as he watched his creator’s constant solitude. Slumping his upper body further back into his gaming chair, holding the coffee mug in both hands.

“Dude. You okay?” he asked for what seems like the tenth times by now. The response stayed the same.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” Shelldon wasn’t happy with the answer, but he shrugged it off. He took out his lanky robot arm and grabbed something that sitting on top of him.

“Mikey told me to give you this.” he held out a box of pizza at him. “You should at least eat something, Donnie.” he plead. Donnie stared at the pizza then at Shelldon. The look of worry annoyed him. Great, even a robot is worried about him. But he knows better that Shelldon is not just a robot. He’s a family, part of the Hamato, the drone has feelings and conscious of its own.

Donnie accepted the package, he took a slice and eat it. Shelldon--although not quite visible--beaming away that he had accepted the offer.

“Thank you, Shelldon.”

“You’re welcome, Dee!” Shelldon flew off to the other side of the lab, knowing that he’d done his job. Donnie chuckled quietly as he gone. It’s weird to think that the drone behaving like a kid, which was the intention of installing the emotion-settings in the first place. He can’t remember the last time he acted like one, those days of constant playing, troublemaking and have no care in the world. He said it before; it was messy but gosh, it was fun.

Then, he heard the lair suddenly began crowdy. He didn’t realized that the door was opened, did Shelldon forgot to close the door? How could an AI forget something? Donnie have no mood to stand up or command anything for now, so he let it be. He heard a distant sound of clip-clop from hooves in the lair. The only mutant he knows that is involving hooves is Baron Draxum. What is he doing here? And the sound of chit-chats heard along with it as well, especially some faint female voices and his dad.

They all having a chat out there. How long they’ve been in this states? Why haven’t anyone informed him about visitors? Then again, he’d been cooped up in this lab and desiring for some temporary isolations, of course they haven’t inform him.

Not wanting to bother with anything about it, he continued sipping his coffee and chomped down more pizza into his throat. Not much he can do for now, other than listening the distant inaudible voices. Not even bothering to look up to the sound of footsteps getting closer and closer to the lab.

“Hey, big guy. How’s it going?” April leans her body to the door frame, keeping it cool.

“’m fine.” he answered again, too often now that it sounds more like a chanting spell. April offered a sad smile as she bring herself to sit beside the purple genius.

“Wanna talk about it?” she asked softly. Donnie sipped his mug as a sign that he refused her demands. “I see. Well, we wanted to hang out together as family to the hidden City.” she told.

“Last time we did that we got thrown in jail.” he bluntly respond.

“Well, yes. But things are different now. Now that we stopped that ‘you-know-who’, they pretty much removed the bounties from our heads.” she added, definitely sounding more excited than before. Donnie still can’t trust the sudden change, although he does agree the treatment for doing so after that horrible incident, he didn’t expect anything from the Yokais but pay some respect for sparing them from the devilish evil claws they called Shredder.

“Still, I’m not sure that’s a good idea. Remember that time where we trust that spider lady for taking care of ‘you-know-who’, and look what she did, total havoc, everywhere.”

“Well, at least she did help out with locating the....uuuh....”

“Empyrean.”

“Yeah, that. If it wasn’t for her, we might not be able to save the day and,... You know what I mean.” she reluctantly continued her sentence. Donnie can tell why, he also didn’t want to think of what happen if they can’t find where Shredder had kept their father hostage. Can’t probably sleep knowing if they were too late, Big Mama was indeed offer a huge help even though she’s only can help telling them the location.

Although, the point still stands, she wasn’t a type of person that can be easily trusted. Things happened because of her, and they suffered the most of it. Can’t believe he wished that he should’ve listen to Leo the first time, probably one of the reason why he can be such a good leader.

“Look, I know it’s hard to believe it that way. But I promise, I got some good hunch today. Everything will be fine. You can blame me if anything goes wrong in your way, okay?” And there it is, the classic humble April. The very things he envies the most out of her, dare enough to take the blame and always be there with positive attitude.

And, yes, April always had a strong hunch, it never failed them and they all knew that. If she thinks everything will be fine, then it will indeed.

“So, do you trust me?” she stood up with a big confident smile on her face. It somewhat contagious and made him smile as well.

“Of course, you’re the only human that I trust in this world, April.” he responded, with less tense or sad tone.

“What, you still don’t trust Casey?” as on cue, a loud non-feminine female voice shouting in the background, followed by what sounds like his brothers shouting back at her. Donnie grimaced at the behaviour of that girl. Ever since the former Foot-clan helped out with defeating Shredder, the group immediately warmed up to her. Except for Donnie.

He still respected her for saving his father, however he never had any connection with the girl. Her risk-loving-fight-adoring attitude giving his big bulky brother, Raphael a worthy friendly match. She didn’t even flinched by his loud thundering roar, if by chance she roared right back. And her chaotic energy is enough to keep up with Leo and Mikey.

Donnie didn’t share much with such connections, in which he easily-predicted, the girl hates science. Although, she does find his inventions as cool and awesome, she might thinking about exploding it in place though. Leo would be proud.

Also, she’s terrifying, not as much as April, but she gave him too many goosebumps for the past years.

“In theory, she might be the last person to be trusted when it involves ‘safety’. Please don’t tell her that!” he semi-whispering, not wanting her to charged in and wreck something explosive in his lab.

“Your secret safe with me.” she gestured a zipping motion across her mouth. Donnie chuckles, “Now, come on. Everyone’s waiting. You don’t have to take your hoodie off if you don’t want to.”

Donnie smiled at that, he stood up and let April grabbed his hand leading him to the group. “Thanks, April.”

“Anytime, Dee.” she grinned at him.

#rottmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rottmnt fanfiction #oc crossover #rottmnt donnie #rottmnt leo #rottmnt raph #rottmnt mikey #tmnt #teenage mutant ninja turtles #fanfiction #fanfic

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finiffy · 4 years

Text

I really like thinking about the scp doctors doing normal morning routines

Iceberg waking up in the mornings with his fluffy'n soft blankets half on half off him, absolutely refusing to leave his warm bed until his 3rd alarm is yelling at him to get up. Trudging to take a shower then putting on his multiple layers of clothing and finally wrapping his scarf around himself. He never makes breakfast for himself so he has to go to the site early so that he can grab something in the breakroom before anyone else does (sometimes Rights saves him a muffin or something if he is running late). He sometimes gets to his office to see someone has dumped their paperwork onto his desk, he immediately burns them and drops it outside with a note, "Dump your work on my desk again and I will burn you down".

Clef starts his day by rolling off his bed to try and get away from his blaring alarm then immediately falling onto the floor until he finally feels like getting up. He gets up to stretch and hisses as his old wounds act up. Barely brushing his teeth but making sure nothing is stuck between them or his breath smelling weird, he heads to the kitchen and pops some frozen waffles into the toaster or whatever he has around to eat, and if he doesn't have anything at home would just go and steal someone's food from the breakroom. He goes about picking out the worst looking outfit he's got, hawaiian shirt and all then putting on some cheap looking flip flops, definitely violating Foundation dresscode but at this point no one is really going to bug him about it.

Gears probably with the most schedule routine, wakes up at 8:00, eats breakfast at 8:30 which usual consists of eggs, coffee, and some toast, 9:00 go for a light walk then head back and by 10:00 arrive at work. At home this man wears a robe with an old tshirt (which most likely has a really bad science pun that he keeps getting from the junior staff), sweats and slippers. He usually plays some music in the background when he gets ready and uses every song to count how much time has pass. He is never late for work and always arrives somewhat early to get a head start on his day. He greets everyone with a nod when they say hello to him as he makes two cups of coffee and brings them to his office and places one on Iceberg's desk and his.

Bright is a very heavy sleeper and has his alarm blasting every 5 minutes. When he does get up he goes to shower to wake himself up while at the same time brushes his teeth. He always keeps the lights off in his bathroom so he doesn't get whiplash from his new reflection each time he looks in the mirror and sometimes debates whether or not to just remove the thing. He is the kind of person to skip breakfast since it makes him nauseous in the mornings but depending on his body it is always a hit or miss situation so he pretty much settles for something light. Before he leaves his home he does a pat down on himself. Keys. ID card. Wallet. Pants (don't ask).Stupid amulet that he must wear at all times because of some stupid rule. Phone.

Glass is not a morning person at all and is usually very clumsy and grumpy. Morning Glass and afternoon Glass are two different people. He usual makes tea instead of coffee since he doesn't like having caffeine early in the mornings. Once his drowsiness wears off he goes and puts on his contacts but if he is late or just annoyed with trying to put them on he just wears his glasses to work. Sometimes when he stress bakes at home, he would bring the baked goods with him when he gets to work and passes them around to people he knows doesn't get breakfast or sometimes forgets to eat. He usually makes muffins or cookies as they are the most easy thing to pass around and would put extras in the breakroom for others to take. In his office he makes sure to water the plants he has laying around that he may or may not have given them names before settling down for work.

Crow's home was modified so that it is easier on him and with different machinery that he made that helps him with his daily things. He makes sure to groom himself every morning because of how much he sheds and not wanting to get complaints around fur all over the facility and brushes his teeth with the really gross dog brand toothpaste. He is not the type to take a shower in the morning because of how long it takes him to dry off and not risking getting wet dog smell comments from his coworkers. He has always refused that he actually eats dog food cause 'I'm a human being I'm not eating damn kibble' (which brought into a long argument and discussion with his colleagues that everyone in their life has tried to eat dog/cat food just to see if it's good). In reality he actually eats dog food. At home at least especially for breakfast. It's easy for him since he can't cook, and it doesn't need any preparations. He misses the taste and smell of having coffee every morning though.

Kondraki wakes up barely opening his eyes because of not sleeping at a reasonable time or if he actually got any sleep at all. He washes his face to get rid of any drowsiness or fatigue before setting up to shave his beard to look more presentable. Before he does anything for the day in the facility, he heads straight for 408's containment to feed them for the morning, feeding them is a reminder for himself to also eat so he would on most days join them for breakfast. When Draven still lived with him, he always made breakfast for the both of them and ate together but when Draven moved out, he began to forget to eat but 408 started to help him. After doing morning checkups with 408, he heads for his office to start the coffee machine that he stole from the staff room and downing the whole pot before noon.

#long post #made this instead of sleeping #scp foundation #headcanon

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marvinswriting · 4 years

Text

The Hook, part one.

Prompt: no written prompts but me and bear yelled at each other about it for a while so its gotta be good

"I told you other people were home!" Kevin whisper yells as he, Gretchen, and I rush back to the outlet.

"Yeah, but we didn't know where they were!" I say.

"And I said hey this might be risky. You know what you said?" Kevin yelled.

"I told you to shut the fuck up." I huff.

"And look at us now."

"And look at us now." I repeat. Gretchen is already at the outlet and Kevin isn't far behind.

I'm not looking where I'm going and my foot gets caught in the gap. I ungracefully fall to the table, my tool bag spilling open.

"No!" I helplessly watch as my hook falls to the floor.

"Great going, idiot!" Kevin hisses. "Get up somebody is coming!"

"My tools!"

"Are you fucking stupid- Janis do not try and get that- oh my god."

I peered over the edge of the counter.

Fuck.

I can't get down without my hook but I need to get down to get my hook and-

"Janis!" I turn to Gretchen. Kevin is already in the outlet and she's pushed up out of sight.

"What the fuck?!"

Oh shit. I've done it now.

"Go!" I hiss to Gretchen to scared to turn around.

I watch as Kevin pulls her into the outlet before glancing back to whats probably my death.

There stood Mr. Hubbard, the man of the household, the dude who managed to tower over Damian. And he was staring right at me.

Fuck.

I could make it to the outlet if I got up and didn't look back but I was glued in my position still leaning over the edge.

Maybe I could purposely fall and put myself out of my misery before the inevitable death.

Even before we met Damian, me and my roommates observed the family members a lot.

The dad was the aggressive one. Killing bugs without two looks and yelling in frustration at the TV during football games.

"What the fuck are you?" He steps forward and I'm broken out of my frozen stance. I step up to fast and just fall backward.

Shit shit shit shit.

I can see the clock next to me. Damian should be home from school any minute. Maybe when he walks in the dad will be distracted- or- or- fuck!

There's no way out of this.

When I met Damian, there was no fear. Something deep down told me it would be alright.

But right now?

Bad fucking vibes.

"Do you talk?" Mr. Hubbard continued his ambush of questions. He seemed to be growing annoyed at my lack of responses. I didn't want to piss him off and put my self in more danger but my vocal cords wouldn't work.

He stood at the edge of the counter staring at me. "I don't believe it..." He muttered.

I don't either. I don't wanna die.

He lifts his hand towards me and I scramble back. "Don't touch me!"

His hand hesitates. "You do speak."

Nonono fuck!

"What are you?"

Dead. I'm fucking dead. Or I will be in like five minutes.

"I know you can talk. What are you."

I flinch at the tone in his voice. Damian clearly didn't get his patience from his father.

The hand comes back and doesn't stop this time, despite my protests.

You see, when Damian held me (or any of my roommates for that matter) it was always in cupped hands or flat on one hand. Sometimes he'd hold me gently with his fingers wrapped around my torso but I wouldn't call it a fist.

This was a fucking fist.

"Put me down!" I push at the fingers squeezing my torso but its no use as I'm lifted off the counter. "Stop!"

Mr. Hubbard seems unaffected by my requests. "You are a weird fucking creature. Almost human."

Then treat me like one, damn it.

Mr. Hubbard moves around the kitchen and I stop struggling. If he dropped me now I'd fall to my death.

Which, to be fair has got to be better than whatever will happen to me now.

Back to struggling then.

"Jesus stop that before I drop you." He says, his grip tightening a bit.

That's the goal, asshole.

Mr. Hubbard walks back over to the counter and I really start squirming.

I need to get out of here.

Now.

The fist holding me lets go and for a brief second, I'm free falling. It's not a long-distance, but I wasn't ready.

I land on the counter with a soft thud and-

No.

I'm not on the counter.

Oh, fuck oh fuck.

The room around me is blurry with a foggy glare.

I'm in a jar. A glass fucking jar.

No.

Fuck no- nononon.

There are two classic things you get warned about as a child. You know the stories made to terrify you into never doing something? For borrowers, that's staying away from cats and out of jars.

Cats will kill you and jars will lead to something else killing you.

And while I know the cat and know Ariel won't kill me, I don't know Mr. Hubbard and most definitely don't know if he will kill me.

I quickly stand up and, to my dismay, the lip of the cup is quite far above my head.

"Hey!" I try jumping, knowing it won't work.

"Relax." Mr. Hubbard says picking up the jar.

"No!" I bang on the side but I know it won't do anything.

I'm trapped.

Oh fuck.

For a second I think I see movement through the foggy glass. Gretchen and Kevin! I'm conflicted with hating them for being reckless or loving them for caring.

But before they could do anything, Mr. Hubbard is walking to a part of the house I've never seen before.

The garage.

Fuck. Fuck. I'm so dead.

I'm gonna be killed. Or used for science.

Don't know how accurate the latter is, but its another childhood horror story which means something along the lines of it had to happen at least once.

Fuck.

"Please-" My voice sounds small and weak and I hate it. But I feel small and weak right now so what are you to do. I rub at my eye only to feel dampness. When did I start crying?

Mr. Hubbard places me on the counter and walks over to what looks like a mini-fridge. "I gotta have my buddies over. What till they see this."

I can't tell if he's talking to me or about me. I get the sickening feeling its both.

He opens the fridge and curses. "Damn no beers. I can't have an empty fridge with the guys, you know how it is."

He turns to me with a laugh and I stare blankly back at him, fists still pressed against the glass and tears running down my face.

No, I don't fucking know how it is.

Mr. Hubbard only shrugs at my silence. "I'll get you to talk eventually."

I don't like how threatening that is. Fuck-

He takes a sheet of aluminum foil and starts poking holes in it, a method I've seen Damian do before catching fire fl- oh hell no. He isn't gonna put a lid on the jar, right?

I'm not claustrophobic. I live in the walls for fucks sake. But the thought of being totally enclosed in a jar-

My breath feels shallow.

Mr. Hubbard approaches the jar with the foil in hand.

"I gotta run to the store and I need to make sure you don't get out. You understand, right?"

No. No, I don't. Please don't-

The dark gets darker as the foil is placed over it. Mr. Hubbard moved the jar to one of the top shelves in the garages which I think is overkill.

But maybe I'm a little biased since I'm the one stuck in a fucking jar. Who knows.

"Don't go anywhere." Mr. Hubbard says, laughing at his joke a little before leaving the room.

For a while, I sit frozen still, the events of literally the past five minutes still trying to catch up to me.

My breathing is erratic and this jar feels too small, despite me being able to fully extend my arms in it. The only light filters through from the sides and little beams of light from the wholes in the top. There was a led beam right above me, reflecting harsh circles in the bottom of the jar.

I look out at the garage.

If I managed to tip the jar, I'd fall and die, for sure.

But- maybe that wasn't the worst at this point.

I slouch backward, pressing the heels of my hands into my eyes.

All this because of a stupid hook.

I'm gonna die because of a hook.

What a stupid fucking hook.

"We aren't obligated to save her, you know." Kevin whines. "She's just being stupid."

"It's what good roommates do," I say, climbing up a nail. "Mr. Hubbard just pulled away. If Janis is with him then- shes dead oh well. But there's a chance she isn't. And I couldn't sleep at night if I knew I didn't try and save her."

"Oh, I'd sleep like a baby," Kevin whines but I can tell he's nervous too. "I call Janis's room if she's dead."

"Kevin."

"What?!"

I push aside the outlet into Damian's room. He picks up on the motion instantly.

"Hey, guys!" He says, voice cheery as normal.

"Have you seen your dad?" I ask tentatively.

"Uh yeah, I just got home from school, he was pulling away as I pulled in."

"Did he have a jar with him?" I ask, stepping into the room with Kevin close behind.

"No, I don't think so- why?" He looks at the outlet as if he's waiting for the third roommate to pop out. "And where's Janis?"

"In a jar." Kevin says with a shrug.

god fucking damn it kevin @realmisspolarbear @musicallygt @smallsoysauce @sourishlemons

#mg borrower au #part fucking one bitches #borrower janis #borrower kevin #borrower gretchen #human damian #human mr. hubbard

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nitewrighter · 5 years

Text

Villains Want A Valkyrie Pt. 3

Previous Chapters: 1, 2

Read it on AO3 Here.

----

The heart monitor beeped steadily as Gabriel Reyes stared at Mercy in the Talon medical wing. She stared right back, frozen in the doorway. Mercy felt Moira looming close behind, those heterochromatic eyes flicking over Gabriel’s figure, trying to parse what was the latest thing going wrong. Mauga had dropped off a while back to attend to some enforcers, but honestly the threat of another biotic grip from Moira was enough to keep Mercy relatively compliant. Still running any possible escape scenario she could through her head, but compliant.

Reaper was seated on an examination table, not looking very much like Reaper at all, hunched in a well-worn black hoodie and dark gray elastic cuff sweatpants with pristinely well-kept red and white sneakers. Mercy remembered Volskaya--shooting the bone-white mask off of his face, and the chilling shock that pulsed through her body at seeing the man she thought was dead for the past 5 years. He seemed smaller now--which was no easy feat considering the bulk of his figure thanks to the SEP serum. Little ashen bits were flaking off of the skin of his face and falling upward in a stream of black smoke. It seemed so terrifying when she had first seen it in that dark factory, but looking at it now under the bright lights of the medical lab, she felt like she was looking at him as a doctor and not an opponent. He was sick. He was clearly sick. In pain, even, but doing his best to remain composed in the midst of that.

The eyes were still unnerving. Black sclera, red irises, but the expression on his face seemed to disarm them, slightly. He had aged enough in his years of Overwatch for the scars and laughlines to shift and betray his own fear that he was tamping down. Maybe that was why he embraced the mask so easily . Years ago he had respected her, depended on her, then after Zurich she was another name on his list: the woman who condemned him to a living death just by trying to keep him alive.

“You can come in,” said Reaper, “I won’t bite.”

Mercy took a hesitant step into the room.

“You’re looking well,” said Reaper.

Mercy kept up a steady glare.

“This is awkward,” said Reaper.

“Last time we met you nearly killed me,” said Mercy, “And now you threatened innocent civilians to drag me here and ask me to save your life so you can keep killing. That’s well past awkward.”

Reaper gave a glance to Moira past Mercy’s shoulder, who gave him a slight ‘I told you so’ head tilt with an ‘It’s not too late to shoot her’ eyebrow raise.

“I know,” said Reaper, “I don’t have to tell you we’re in a war, Doc. I know you want to stay alive. You have to do everything you can to keep your work from falling into the wrong hands--and obviously your team would suffer from your absence. At this point, you’re free falling. Hoping your team can pull off another one of their crazy stunts to swoop in and catch you and save the day, because god knows you’ve had to do that over and over again for them. So you keep a cool head. You buy time. That’s fair.”

“Is this the ‘you have no hope of escaping’ speech? Because I don’t think anyone here has time for that,” said Mercy.

“I don’t like that you’re here, Doc. I really wish we didn’t have to bring you in, but I think we can help each other with this,” Reaper pulled back the sleeve of his hoodie.

“Gabriel--” Moira started in warning, but it was too late. Mercy winced back at the sight of visible bone and necrotizing flesh falling up and off his arm.

“I know you want to fix this,” said Reaper, slipping the sleeve back over his arm, “If not for my sake, then at least for fixing what’s been done to your tech’s sake. At least for the sake of knowing it can be undone.”

Reaper made brief eye contact with Moira and Moira’s face pinched slightly, but she seemed to remember what Reaper had said earlier about Mercy not being able to walk away from this. Mercy’s own expression was tense, her arms folded tight across herself, looking at Reaper’s arm with a combination of revulsion, regret, and curiosity.

“Just need you to patch me up one last time, Doc,” said Reaper.

“I’ve heard that before,” said Mercy, her brow furrowing.

“Yeah except you’re not bleeding out this time,” said Reaper, “Let’s keep it that way, right?”

-----

“Huh... I was wondering how all your comms data managed not to be split wide open by Talon cyber attacks,” said Lynx Seventeen in a vidcom window as a dizzing amount of data streamed down Athena’s screens, “I must say, your encryption algorithms are poetry--”

“Oh--” Athena made a noise that sounded like a tittering chuckle, “Well thank you. I do my best.”

“Can we please stay focused?” said Genji, pacing back and forth.

“Hey, this stuff’s just as much an art as a science, and doing it remotely like this takes time,” said Lynx.

“We should be going now, and figuring out which building in Venice she’s being held in is on the way.”

“This is educated guesswork at best!” said Lynx, their metal ears twitching with irritation, “I’m just compiling data gathered from Antonio’s complex combined with the logistical data of Talon’s movements during the Venice Incident. Even if I cross reference blueprints and building restoration records to compile a rough estimate of the most likely site Doctor Ziegler might be held in, you’d still be flying in blind with no knowledge of the building’s interior.”

“I’ve gone in with less,” said Genji.

“And missions where you’ve gone in with less have ended like Venice,” said Winston, frowning over a holographic map of agent locations, “Like McCree said, we’re spread thin.”

“I can go alone then--” said Genji, “Fewer variables, I’m harder to detect than a team---”

“Genji, we’re all as worried about her as you are--” McCree started.

“Are you!?” said Genji.

“But we can’t afford to be emotional about this. We’ve barely had the resources to keep Talon in check. Taking the fight to them is a whole other ball game.”

“Her medical knowledge has to be the primary explanation as to why Talon would snatch her up while still keeping her conscious,” said Jack, “She has time. And she’s smart, she can probably buy even more for herself.”

“You’ve seen what Reaper has done to her before,” said Genji, folding his arms tight across himself, “I can’t--I can’t go through that again. We can’t let that happen to her again. She’s been keeping us alive. We owe this to her. And every second we spend deliberating here--”

“We aren’t deliberating--we’re planning as best we can how to get her back,” said Jack, “And you are going to be on the rescue team. I promise you that. You and McCree have had experience in Venice before. But I’m going to need you to keep calm and let Lynx and Athena work.”

Genji’s shoulders bunched up. “I’m calm.”

“You’re really not,” said McCree.

“Take a walk,” said Jack.

“We’ll page you when we’ve drawn up an itinerary for the rescue mission,” said Winston.

“Come on,” said McCree, putting a hand on his shoulder and leading him out of the room.

They walked down the hallway a ways.

“Y’know you still gotta debrief from that last mission,” suggested McCree.

“Ana and Tracer should cover it sufficiently,” said Genji.

“Genji, I don’t need to be able to see your face to tell when you’re going down a black hole. I’m scared for the doc, too! Terrified! But if we fuck this up she could end up dead.”

Genji visibly winced at McCree’s words.

“Your hacker said you were flying blind,” a voice spoke up from just up the hal and Genji and McCree both stopped and looked to see Hanzo leaning against the wall.

“I don’t recall you being invited to that meeting,” said McCree, folding his arms.

Hanzo held up what appeared to be a semi-deconstructed tip of a sonar arrow. “I don’t like being kept out of the loop,” he said, pocketing the tip.

“How much of the watchpoint have you bugged?” said McCree.

“That’s not important right now.”

“Oh I think it’s pretty imp---” McCree started.

“What are your thoughts, Hanzo?” said Genji.

“I... “ Hanzo straightened himself up slightly, “I have a contact who might be able to help us.”

“...you have contacts in Talon,” said McCree.

“Former Talon,” said Hanzo, “And he’s a medic as well. With Angela in Talon’s custody, I believe he’s the best person we can bring in.”

McCree gave a wary glance to Genji. “I don’t know how I feel about going behind Winston and Jack’s back about this...”

“Can you get in contact with him?” asked Genji.

Hanzo gave a single nod.

---

Just being in Moira’s lab made Mercy’s skin crawl. It had virtually no natural light and the entire room was cast in a sickly yellow glow that rippled with watery shadows from the massive biotic tank at the center of the room. She kept it clean, as any scientist worth their salt would,

“It’s a threefold problem,” said Moira as she brought up a projection of Reaper’s cells on a large holographic screen.

“The primary problem being your modifications to Reaper’s cellular structure,” said Mercy, leaning forward at the projection.

“There is nothing wrong with my modifications,” said Moira, “The variables presented by the SEP program and your little Lazarus stunt back in Zurich on the other hand...”

“Nothing wrong with your modifications?” said Mercy, glancing at Moira’s withered hand.

“This is trial and error,” said Moira, running a thumb over one of the silvery veins on her hand, “I took the first risks with rabbits and myself to make sure I got it right,” she turned her attention back to the screen. “As I was saying. Threefold.”

“The nanites, the SEP serum, and the resurrection,” said Mercy.

“Indeed.”

“Moira--” Mercy folded her arms across herself, “If Gabriel is going to survive this, I’m going to need to understand more about your nanites.”

“Because of course only you can save him,” said Moira with an eye roll, “Our guardian angel.”

“I’m more than happy to get out of this lab and leave Reaper in your capable hands,” Mercy said tensely.

“And I wish we could kill you, plastinate your brain, use it as a paperweight, and be done with it but I’m afraid we’re both stuck here and unhappy until Gabriel starts dying less,” said Moira, not even looking away from the screen.

“The nanites,” said Mercy,

“They’re modified from the nanobots of biotics to assimilate into human tissue and then allow that tissue to re-assimilate itself to their own abilities. What about them?”

“There’s more to it than that. I doubt you just woke up one morning and said, ‘Oh you know what will help the world? Turning people into energy-sapping smoke monsters.’”

Moira scoffed. “Your first error is assuming science is about altruism. The point of science is understanding. We must find out everything we can about ourselves and the universe we live in. Whether that’s to our benefit is irrelevant.”

“I’m sure anyone under your care as a medic is thrilled to hear that,” said Mercy.

Moira just scoffed. “The greatest leaps in evolution were shifts on a cellular level and massive expansions in biodiversity. I saw the world within an evolutionary funnel... in the midst of our own anthropocentric mass extinction event, and a severe reduction in human biodiversity from the severe population drop from the Omnic crisis. We needed an edge. A cellular edge. I thought, what if our form as multicellular organisms wasn’t static? What if we could move beyond the movements of our bodies as dictated by our own somatotopy? What might we be able to do with the neuro-cellular capabilities of a cephalopod while still maintaining our highly advanced abstract reasoning capabilities? What if we could push that cellular control even further than that?”

“Cephalo--You wanted us to be like octopuses?” Mercy’s voice pitched up.

“Well in terms of balancing abstract problem solving and extremely refined control of the physical body...” said Moira. She made eye contact with Mercy. “Oh don’t give me that look.”

“I highly doubt Reyes would agree to a trial of your treatments because he wanted to be more like an octopus,” said Mercy, flatly.

“He wouldn’t,” said Moira, “He turned to me because other members of the SEP program--surviving members of the SEP program-- were dying.”

Mercy blinked several times, “No, the US government--”

“Had blacked out all history of the SEP program for fear of other country’s replicating it... but that couldn’t stop its effects,” said Moira, “The adaptability of nanites would mean Gabriel would be capable of producing NK cells at will to fight any cancerous incursions---he’s not just a ‘Smoke monster’ Angela. The nanites function close to stem cells--in fact they’re even more adaptable. They were going to be his best defense against any potential cancers or organ failure from the SEP serum.”

“...so the current state of necrosis in his body--” Mercy started.

“Has essentially metastasized throughout his body because of the nanites and more and more organic components of his body are being destroyed by nanites because the sick cells are recognized as threats to the whole, yes, I know,” said Moira, “You’re all caught up. Happy?”

“I--well... that’s a start,” said Mercy.

A long pause passed between them.

“He got it for Jack’s sake, too, didn’t he?” said Mercy, watching a nanite cell attack a sickly organic cell on the screen, “He’d test it out on himself first so that if the SEP serum ever started negatively affecting Jack...”

“That goes without saying,” said Moira, stiffly.

“It’s hard, isn’t it?” said Mercy, “Watching people you care about... collapse despite everything you--”

“I don’t give a damn about your bedside manner or your pathetic attempts to build a rapport,” said Moira, “I’ve heard all your cute little speeches at the UN long enough to know that you’re a parking boot on the wheels of progress, so stop wasting Gabriel’s time and just do what you were brought here to do.”

“This is really upsetting you, isn’t it?” said Mercy.

“If it is, we had bloody well better fix it, shouldn’t we?” said Moira, her withered hand flexing at her side.

Mercy bit the inside of her lip, realizing she wouldn’t be able to buy herself too much time deliberating with Moira. And pushing Moira would probably just end up with her in another biotic grip or worse.

“I’ll need samples,” said Mercy, “Blood, urine, spinal fluid if you have it--” she perked up, “Marrow! His-”

“His bone wasn’t decomposing as fast as the rest of him,” said Moira, her head lifting up,” she furrowed her brow slightly, “An unpleasant procedure, but he should be stable enough for it. I have his blood and spinal fluid on ice and it shouldn’t take too long to get the urine but.. a marrow sample might provide new data.”

“Good,” said Mercy, looking back at the screen, “That’s good.” Another long silence passed between them as Moira stooped over her lab terminal and typed in a few commands to begin preparations for the marrow extraction procedure. “I--Just so you know, despite... despite all the horrible things he’s done, all the horrible things he’s letting you do, I do want to help him,” said Mercy.

“Oh I know you do. You always did. See where that got him,” said Moira.

#gency

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waitineedaname · 5 years

Text

Lightning Round, Take Two

kudos to @notedchampagne for inspiring this!!

also on ao3

“This is a terrible idea.”

“It’ll be fine.”

“She’s going to hate me.”

“She’ll love you.”

“Love me? Love me?!” Karkat all but shrieked. “I don’t know if you’ve realized this, Dave, but I don’t exactly make the best impressions! In fact, one might even say I make the worst impressions! We’ll be lucky if she doesn’t end this visit early because she can’t stand being around me because I have the personality of a deep seated pimple!”

“Damn. The kind it hurts to pop?”

“Yes! The kind of pimple that never forms a head and settles on your upper lip so it hurts every time you move your mouth! That’s what my personality is like: persistent, painful, and pus-filled!”

“The three P’s.” Dave mused, and Karkat shot him a scowl. “C’mon man, don’t sell yourself short. You’re like a blackhead at the worst.”

“Don’t pander to me, Strider.” Karkat grumbled and crossed his arms, but he didn’t complain when Dave slung his arm over his shoulders. “I still think this would go much better without me.”

“Nah, dude, trust me, this is the best option. I mean, best case scenario, if I did this by myself, she’d be like ‘omg do u have a bf’ and I’d be like ‘yeah’ because that’s part of what I’m tryna do here, tell folks about us, but then she’d want pictures even though she’s definitely met you, and then I’d have to show her all those cute pictures I took of you when you weren’t looking, and I know you don’t want that.”

“You what?”

“You didn’t hear that.”

Karkat rolled his eyes and leaned a little closer into Dave’s side, eyes tracing the little carapacian homes they were walking by. Dusk was falling, much to his relief; they both had to make compromises when they realized their species operated at different times of day, but he still avoided leaving the hive when the sun was glaring and ready to burn him to a crisp. Dave probably could’ve flown them all the way to Roxy and Calliope’s house, but Karkat hated making him carry him that far (Dave always insisted he wasn’t that heavy, but the strain in his voice never escaped Karkat’s notice), so they were walking the last few blocks. Karkat had a sneaking suspicion Dave was fine with walking because he was trying to delay the inevitable. He was nervous, if the way his fingers were tapping on Karkat’s upper arm or the way he kept clenching and unclenching his jaw said anything. Karkat sighed and unfolded his arms to wrap one around Dave’s waist.

“You don’t have anything to worry about, you know.” He said, surprising Dave into looking down at him.

“What? Who said I’m worried? You’re the one who’s been bitching the whole evening.”

“Because I want to make a good impression on your weird paradox ancestor, shit for brains. I’m saying you don’t need to be worried about coming out to her.” He met Dave’s eyes through his shades, something he’d gotten good at over the sweeps. “Of all fucking people, she’ll be the most fine with it. That’s why you’re telling her first, right?”

“Yeah, I know, it’s just-” Dave sighed and looked away. He was better than he used to be, but holding eye contact was still hard for him, “It’s a big deal, you know? I mean, Rose probably figured it out from living in a confined space with us, and Dirk kinda got it out of context clues, but this is a first using the big B-word.”

“She’ll be fine. And if she isn’t, I’ll tear her apart and at least give her a reason to hate your boyfriend besides my shit-awful personality.”

“Aw, babe, I dunno whether to be flattered you’d attack my mom like a feral raccoon or bummed that you’re trashin’ yourself.”

“How about we compromise, and I’ll stop shit-talking myself if you stop stressing yourself out about this.”

“...Deal.”

“Good. Because I think that’s her house.”

“Oh shit.”

The two of them stopped just outside the elaborate building the carapacians had offered Roxy and Calliope back when they’d first arrived in the middle of Earth C society, both of them brimming with anxiety despite their reassurances. Karkat almost thought Dave was going to say this was too much for him and turn around and fly home, but he unwrapped himself from Karkat’s arm and instead held his hand to walk up to the front door and knock.

“Just a sec!” Roxy’s voice rang out from somewhere inside, and a few seconds later, the door opened to reveal her smiling face. “Davey!” She squealed and launched herself at him, hugging him tightly. Dave, to his credit, adapted quickly and let go of Karkat’s hand to hug her back.

“Sup, Rox.”

Roxy pulled away from Dave to turn towards Karkat, who instinctively took a half step back. She noticed and laughed. “Don’t worry, I’m not gonna hug you if you don’t wanna. Is a fistbump cool?”

“I don’t know if I would call anything a certain red asshole harangued me with in the early years of our friendship ‘cool’, but it is acceptable.” That made Roxy laugh, and he gave her a light fistbump.

“Karkat, bro, I can’t believe you’re just calling me uncool in front of my mom. What the fuck. What is this betrayal.” Dave shook his head, but he already seemed more relaxed.

“Dave, I dunno how to break this to you, but you’re related to me ‘n Dirk.” Roxy tried to adopt a sympathetic expression despite her grin. “You’ve got dork running through your veins.”

“Goddamn. You’re tellin’ me I’ve got a genetic predisposition for this shit?”

“Yup. It’s chronic. Doctors everywhere’re rushing to write studies on our family to try and isolate the ‘cool-but-really-not-cool’ gene.”

“Let’s hope it’s not replicable in a lab or anything. I’m pretty sure Earth C can only handle four of us.”

“Ohmigod, can you imagine them trying to test it out. Little lab rats wearing shades and writing wizard fic. Holy shit.” Roxy gasped at her own idea, an unbelievably pleased look on her face.

“Oh my dick. Fuck ectobiology, this is the science I want to invest in.”

“Absolutely not.” Karkat interjected. “There’s already enough of you jackasses, I think I’d have an aneurysm if any more blond lunatics were running around.”

“Lol,” Karkat couldn’t believe Roxy just said that out loud, “You’re probably right. Are we gonna keep fucking around about cool mice on the doorstep, or do you guys wanna come in?”

She stepped aside to lead them inside and showed them to the living room. “Callie’s out picking up dinner. I would’ve made something since I invited you guys over for dinner, but living in the water apocalypse did not leave me with many cooking skills.”

“Hey, no shade here.” Dave shrugged, plopping down on the couch with Karkat at his side. “I don’t think I’d be able to work an oven if I tried. We’re a strictly take-out household. Hivehold? I dunno, but we’ve barely touched the kitchen in the week we’ve been here.”

“Excuse you, I made those Hot Pockets yesterday.” Karkat countered sharply.

“Yeah, and they were like 30% cooked, dude. You put them in the microwave for thirty seconds and then panicked.”

“Fuck you, I don’t see you doing much better! In fact, I distinctly remember you eating those frozen pizza pockets like a ravenous barkbeast! It was like you’d been locked in a cave with nothing to eat for half a sweep and my delicious plate of folded sauce treats were the only thing saving you from a miserable, malnourished death!”

“I mean, a Hot Pocket’s a Hot Pocket. I’m not gonna turn one of those fuckers down, who do you think I am.”

“I think you’re a wiggler with no sense of taste.”

“You eat bugs.”

“And you put ranch on your pizza! Bricks and glass houses, Dave!”

“Dude, do trolls even have that expression? Aren’t y’all light sensitive? Why would you have glass houses?”

“Newsflash, dipshit, I’ve lived in close proximity for the majority of the past two sweeps with an overflowing fountain of pop culture references and idioms and an uppity seer that likes to make things as convoluted and difficult to understand as possible. I picked up a few human phrases! Uh, no offense, Roxy.” Karkat added at the mention of Rose.

“None taken! I’m pretty sure she gets that from Dirk anyway.” Roxy waved him off. “Take it back to the ranch on pizza thing tho, do you really do that? Is this some earth delicacy I missed out on?”

“Oh fuck yeah, it rules. You gotta try it some time.” Dave nodded, excited to get someone else to try his food crimes.

“Imma have to take a pass on that.” Roxy said, crinkling her nose.

“Finally, someone with taste!” Karkat exclaimed, and Dave gently hit his shoulder.

“I am slowly workin’ through traditional earth food tho! Or at least as traditional as you can get here. That’s where we’re getting dinner from! There’s this human/troll fusion place that Callie and I like. I dunno how authentic it is, but it tastes good at least!”

“I mean, nothing on Earth C is super authentic, it’s all like human diet slightly to the left, but it’s edible.”

“Better than the garbage we alchemized on the meteor, at least.” Karkat agreed.

“God, the fucking buffalo wings debacle.” Dave and Karkat shuddered in unison. Roxy looked amused.

“You guys spent a lot of time together on the meteor, right? And now you’re living together?” Roxy asked, and they both nodded. She had a look in her eyes that was far too reminiscent of the look Rose got when she was gearing up to psychoanalyze someone, and Karkat was hit with a stroke of panic. “Sooo, I should prob’ly do a lightning round with you too, right? Since you’re important to Dave?”

The pair shared a look and Dave shrugged, appearing nonchalant despite the way he was anxiously picking at a loose string on his jeans. “Uh, I guess?” Karkat said, bracing himself.

“I’ll start easy, I promise!” Roxy drummed her fingers on her lips as if thinking. “Hm… you’ve got ‘cat’ in your name, do you like cats?”

Karkat made a face, thrown off by the question. “I guess? I never had one, but Nepeta was pretty fucking into them, and they seemed… fine. I can respect a meowbeast that just lazes around if it’ll leave me the fuck alone, but Nepeta’s lusus could’ve probably torn me to shreds, so…” He shrugged.

“Was Nepeta a friend from the game?” Roxy backpedaled the moment she saw Karkat’s face fall. “Oh shit, tender subject, sorry.” She worried her lip, looking for another question, then perked up. “Oh! What’s your sign? I know it’s Cancer from earth astrology and stuff, but what’s that mean for trolls?”

Karkat looked down at his chest and grimaced. “Fuck if I know, I don’t actually have a sign. I spent most of my life thinking this stupid thing meant precisely fuck all. I guess it’s a symbol of my ancestor? But I never really learned much about him since the empress always tried to erase his rebellion, and I thought that ancestor shit was highblood bullshit anyway. I guess now I know it’s not, but ugh, I could’ve happily gone my whole wretched life without meeting that douchebag.”

“We met his ancestor in the dream bubbles.” Dave explained. “Or I guess descendent? Since y’all are technically the post-scratch group? I never really understood that part.”

“Doesn’t fucking matter, he was a pretentious asswipe with his head so far up his nook it’s a wonder he was even audible, but oh god, was he audible alright.”

“Lmao, I kinda wanna meet this guy.” Roxy grinned.

“No you don’t.” Dave and Karkat said in unison, which made her laugh.

“I’ll take your word for it.” The mischievous look was back in her eyes. “Next question! Have you ever had your quadrants filled?”

Karkat almost choked. “What the fuck kind of question is that? That’s none of your fucking business!” He blustered. “My quadrants are private, and it’s my decision if I want to bring them up! Are all humans this fucking nosy or is it just the Lalondes?!”

“It’s just the Lalondes.” Dave said flatly.

“I just thought it’d be fair since I asked Dave that in our lightning round!” Roxy put her hands up in apology, but didn’t look particularly apologetic. “I was curious!”

Karkat was about to continue his rant about people feeling entitled to knowledge about virtual strangers’ quadrants, but the way Dave sat up and cleared his throat gave him pause.

“Actually, Rox,” Dave started, fidgeting a bit, “I never answered that question back on the lilypad.”

“Yeah, but that’s okay!” Roxy brushed him off. “I’m not gonna push you to answer something you’re not comfy with.”

“That’s the thing. I wanna answer you now, if that’s cool.”

“Oh!” Roxy’s eyes widened. “Of course that’s cool! That’s cooler than cool.”

Dave lifted an eyebrow, a smile pulling at his lips despite himself. “What’s cooler than being cool?”

“Ice cold!” Roxy shouted at the top of her lungs, and the two of them chanted “alright” about a dozen times while Karkat watched them in bewilderment. Humans, he thought. He’d never understand them.

“Okay, but for real tho,” Roxy said once they’d both gotten a handle on their giggles, “You wanted to say something?”

“Yeah.” Dave almost immediately looked anxious again, running his hands over his jeans. “So. You asked if I’d ever kissed anyone or-” He cleared his throat and the rest came out in a mumbled cough, “-been in love.”

Karkat held his breath, eyes flicking between Dave and a very focused Roxy.

“The, um. The answer to both of those questions is… yes? And I know you’re wonderin’ who, that’s like the next logical question, like if you ask someone if they’re hungry and they say yes, your next question is probably gonna be ‘what do you wanna eat’, unless you’re a total dick and just wanted to, I dunno, be aware of someone else’s hunger for your own sick pleasures and leave ‘em waiting like you’re some kinda sick torturer tryin’ to extract information out of a prisoner, like ‘hey are you hungry?’ ‘Yeah, I am, actually. I’ve been hanging from my ankles for a week now and I’d kill for some motherfucking KFC right now.’ ‘Interesting. Go fuck yourself.’ That’s not a very good interrogator, actually, he didn’t even try to get any information out of the guy except for the knowledge that he’s really craving some chicken, which is virtually useless, unless the interrogator is working for KFC’s competitor, like Popeyes out here tryna get the deets on their rival brands. Hey, do you think they’ve got a Popeyes anywhere on Earth C? Maybe we should start one, make a shit ton of money. Really boost the economy.”

“Dave.” Karkat cut him off before he could get too far from the topic, giving him a pointed look. “Were you actually going to say something important or were you going to just talk out of your deflated ass forever?”

“Hey man, you know you love my ass.”

“The point, Dave-!”

“Right right right.” Dave shook his head and took a deep breath before looking at Roxy again, who looked like she was might be putting things together already. “It’s Karkat. The answer to ‘who’, I mean. We’ve, uh. We’ve been dating since the meteor.”

Roxy’s whole face lit up. “Aw, congrats you guys! That’s really sweet!”

“Yeah.” Dave looked over at Karkat and gave him a tiny smile before looking a little apprehensive again. “I’d, uh, appreciate if you didn’t tell anyone though? I mean, the rest of the meteor crew probably knows because we spent… a lot of time together.”

“Most of that was platonic, though. A good two-thirds of it, at least.” Karkat countered.

“True, but they don’t know that. Far as they know, one day we were just two bros hanging out and watching movies and shit, then the next day, Vriska walks in to catch one of those bros taking a snooze on his other bro’s lap and falling off the couch the moment she announces her presence.”

“I’ll give you three fucking guesses which dumbass that was.” Karkat directed that at Roxy, and she snorted.

“Rude.” Dave nudged him. “But yeah, they’ve probably figured it out, but we haven’t officially told anyone. I haven’t even told anyone I’m, you know. Bisexual.”

“Wait, so I’m the first person you’ve told?” Roxy looked a little stunned.

“I- Yeah? I just thought you’d probably be a safe person to go to, especially since we don’t have any weird baggage like I might have with John and Jade, you’re just my alt-mom, which I guess does make things a little weird-”

“It’s a little weird, but it does mean you get a certified mom hug!” She interrupted, standing up.

“A mom hug? Dunno if I know what those are like.” Dave said, smiling a little.

“They’re like this, you big goober.” Roxy pulled him into a tight hug, pulling him down a little so he could put his head on her shoulder. “I’m proud of you, Davey. That’s a big deal, comin’ out and shit. I’m glad you felt like you could tell me.”

“...Thanks mom.” Dave’s voice was a watery mumble against her shoulder, but he seemed to have collected himself by the time they pulled away. Roxy immediately turned her sights on Karkat.

“Your turn! You’re family now, you can’t escape hugs anymore.”

“Ugh, you humans are so fucking tactile.” Karkat grumbled but resigned himself to Roxy’s affectionate squeeze.

“Hey man, don’t act like you’re not cuddly as hell. I have to pry you off of me with a crowbar to go take a piss sometimes. You should see this dude when he gets sleepy, Rox, it’s so fucking cute. Did you know trolls purr? It’s some kinda flushed noise or something and it’s the fucking best.” Dave seemed to already be relaxing now that the thing he’d been dreading was over with.

“That’s private!” Karkat hissed, embarrassed. Dave just grinned at him and sat a little closer when they took a seat again. “Do you want me airing out how you melt like a touch starved candybar left in the sunlight when I suggest you should be the little spoon? Or how you turn into a warbling puddle of Dave when I do this?” He reached over and out his hand on Dave’s knee, rubbing his thumb in soothing circles. Casual affection, Dave’s weakness.

“Aw,” Roxy cooed. Dave looked thoroughly embarrassed and made a strangled noise in his throat. Karkat gave him a smug look.

“Shut up.” He grumbled weakly and scooted a little closer so he could press against Karkat’s side and hold his hand.

“So you guys are matesprits?” Roxy asked, and Karkat’s anxiety immediately returned. Dave wasn’t the only one who had coming out to do. Dave squeezed his hand and let Karkat start since this was his thing to discuss.

“Mostly?” He offered weakly, then tried to sound more certain. “We’re kind of pale too.”

“Plus I piss you off in a pitch way sometimes.” Dave added helpfully.

“And the way you kept me from tearing Vriska apart on the meteor was sort of ashen.” Karkat admitted.

“I mean, there wasn’t really much of a chance of you tearing her apart to begin with. Spidertroll could’ve probably kicked any of our asses in her sleep, she’s fuckin’ crazy.”

“My point still stands!”

“So…” Roxy interrupted, guiding them back on topic, “You’re in all quadrants? I didn’t know trolls did that!”

Karkat winced. “They don’t. Usually. It’s extremely frowned upon.”

“Karkat’s had trouble keeping shit in one quadrant.” Dave explained for him. “He’s got a big ol’ heart full of love.”

“I’m pretty sure you’re the only person in Paradox Space to come to that conclusion about what my useless fucking pump biscuit is full of, but thanks for the thought.” Karkat rolled his eyes, defaulting to annoyance to avoid the insecurities that always gnawed at him when he thought about his relationship with quadrants. “‘Full of love’ is usually not the first thing people describe me as. More like ‘full of a burning anger’ or ‘a perpetual stream of irritable piss’ or, hell, ‘just undiluted dumbass juice!’ As far as most people are concerned, I’m Karkat ‘useless shitfit’ Vantas, and they’re not fucking wrong!”

“Okay, sure, you might be the grumpiest person in all - what, is this five universes now? I can’t keep track, but that doesn’t mean you’re not secretly a big softy.” Dave rubbed his thumb over Karkat’s knuckles. “I know that best out of probably anyone.”

“If it helps, I don’t think of you as those things!” Roxy added. Karkat gave her a disbelieving look.

“Full offense, we’ve never really ‘hung out.’”

“I mean, no, but I’ve seen you interacting with Dave and John and Kanaya and stuff, and you’ve always seemed to be a caring friend underneath all the yelling.” Roxy shrugged. “It’s nice knowing Dave’s in good hands since I’ve only been part of his family for a couple weeks. Means I don’t have to give you a shovel talk prob’ly!”

“The shovel talk? What the fuck? What does that even mean?” Karkat looked at Dave for an explanation, but he only winced.

“You know, when parents meet their kid’s partner and are like ‘you better not hurt my baby, or I’ll kill you.’ That kind of thing. I’m guessing trolls didn’t do that on Alternia?” Roxy tilted her head, seeming genuinely curious. Karkat’s face contorted as he wrapped his head around that concept.

“Okay, first of all, no we didn’t because we didn’t even have parents and our lusii wouldn’t give two shits about our quadrantmates. Second of all, you better not even think about giving me your ridiculous human ‘shovel talk’! I’ve known Dave far longer than you have, so it really should be me going ‘don’t fucking hurt him,’ but I know I don’t need to because Dave can fucking handle himself! He doesn’t need your bullshit defenses! If I ever hurt him, I trust him to be able to tell me to fuck off out of his life - not that he’d ever need to because I’d rather establish a culling system in the Troll Kingdom and offer myself up as their first sacrifice than hurt Dave!” He took a deep inhale to continue his tirade, but Dave cut him off with a pat to the cheek.

“Yo, dude, shoosh, it’s okay. It’s really not that big of a deal.” It was only after Dave cut off his train of thought that Karkat realized how worked up he was getting, and he shrank back down against Dave’s shoulder, embarrassed. “I’m pretty sure Roxy was kidding, anyway.”

“Yeah, for sure!” Roxy nodded quickly. “I didn’t mean to imply you were gonna hurt Dave or that he couldn’t take care of himself or anything. That’s hella not my place, and you guys seem very good for each other.”

“Oh. Well. Good.” He sent her a warning glare just to make sure he’d gotten the point across, then forced himself to let some tension out of his shoulders.

“It is really nice knowin’ my family’s in good hands though.” Roxy smiled. “Hell, it’s nice knowin’ I have a family! Oh my god, Dave, do you realize none of us Strilondes are straight? I mean, Rose ‘n Dirk are both gay as hell, and then you and I are bi!”

“Yeah- Wait, what?” Dave jolted a little in surprise. “Rox, you’re bi too? Since when?”

“Uh, since always?” Roxy laughed a bit. “I thought that’s why you came to me, because you knew!”

“No! Holy shit, I gotta process this for a second.”

“LMAO.” Roxy said, pronouncing every letter. “Yeah, dude! I mean, can you blame me? Like, dudes are hot as fuck, that’s like self explanatory. I mean, have you seen the Englberts? Eglishes? Whatever their family name is, John and Jake are both total babes, but then there are girls too! I mean, Janey, what a gal, right? And Callie too!”

“Right?” Dave enthused, clearly excited someone understood where he was coming from. “Girls are so fucking good, hot damn, but then? Dudes? Holy shit?”

“Yeah!” Roxy was just about throwing herself out of her chair with her excitement. “I can barely leave the house, it’s just smoochable babes everywhere I turn.”

“I’d say it’s a goddamn plight, but I got the most smoochable right here.” Dave emphasized his point with a kiss to one of Karkat’s horns, making him squawk. Dave laughed a little and turned back to Roxy. “Yo, but rewind back to Callie. Soooo, are y’all two, y’know…”

Roxy looked remarkably like Dave when embarrassed. “Uh…” The sound of the front door opening and Calliope’s greeting voice cut her off. “I’ll get back to you on that!” Dave waggled his eyebrows at her but didn’t push it.

Dinner was an enjoyable affair, despite Karkat’s near constant crippling fear of being miserable in every social engagement. The food was good and pretty close to tasting like home, and the conversation was fluid - mostly because Roxy and Dave chattered the entire time like hyperactive squirrels. Karkat tried to be annoyed with their ridiculous stream of consciousness discussions, but he couldn’t help but feel warm watching Dave talk so comfortably with his ecto-mom. And he certainly wasn’t the only person happy with the situation; every time he and Dave started bantering back and forth, he could see Roxy’s delight out of the corner of his eye, and the absolutely lovestruck look on her face whenever Calliope spoke didn’t escape him either.

Eventually, though, they had to head home - though Dave and Karkat had both shifted their sleep schedules to be active in the afternoon and most of the night, the majority of their human friends were still diurnal and needed to go to bed eventually - so after a few more hugs from Roxy, they were sent on their way.

Dave landed them down the street from their hive, and Karkat didn’t complain about having to walk that last distance. The Troll Kingdom was just now starting to wake up, stores and restaurants lighting up, trolls in suits rushing to their early jobs, and young trolls getting ushered off to school. It was so different from Alternia, but Karkat thought he could probably get used to the differences if it meant he didn’t have to worry about getting culled at a single glance at his blood color. Maybe it was too early to tell, but if he let himself feel just the slightest bit optimistic for his future, he had a feeling he could be really happy here. He could live a peaceful, successful life on Earth C, and if the cheerful way Dave was swinging their clasped hands meant anything, he wasn’t the only one feeling hopeful.

“So,” He prompted, leaning into Dave’s shoulder, “I guess that could have been more horrible.”

“Yep.” Dave said, popping the ‘p’. “We’ll have to scrap those emergency plans. Cancel our name changes and facial reconstructions and flights to the other side of Earth C, no need to run away immediately.”

“I don’t know, we might have to keep that shit pencilled in. We still need to tell John.” Karkat reminded him, and Dave groaned.

“Oh fuck. Yeah, never mind, you sure we can’t just fuck off into another universe? Universe D here we come. The D stands for Davekat ‘cause it’ll just be us, babe. It also stands for Dick because, come on, it’s us, of course it does. Also Dinosaurs just ‘cause. Do you think dinosaurs are a universal constant? Like, did dinosaurs exist for you guys? Or- oh shit, do you think they evolved differently? Are trolls just super evolved dinosaurs?”

“Dave,” Karkat gave him a look, “I think I would know if I was a dinosaur.”

“I dunno, dude, maybe we’re all dinosaurs-”

“Okay, I know when to cut that shit off.” Karkat rolled his eyes and let go of his hand to unlock their door. “Seriously, I think… that went okay. Less than horrid.”

“Less than horrid, huh? That’s a big compliment coming from you, are you feeling okay? Are you gettin’ some kinda fluffy feelings from hanging out with Roxy too long, ‘cause like, I get it.”

“Shut up. All I’m saying is this might not have been as much of an ordeal as we thought, this ‘coming out to everyone we know’ thing.”

“Maybe. You might be right.” Dave admitted, following him inside. “But that involved way too many emotions, and I think all my brain’s been used up for the rest of the day for anything that involves more thought than playing Xbox for seven hours straight. You down?”

“Fuck yes.”

#homestuck #davekat #dave strider #karkat vantas #roxy lalonde #calliope's there for like a second #okay to reblog #my writing #this was fun to write!#i. really like writing karkat he's very fun.#also she/her pronouns are used for roxy bc this is pre-them figuring out their gender #this is epilogue non-compliant household but i do want to keep roxy's journey to figuring out they're nonbinary

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gyrrakavian · 5 years

Text

Umberlee saved my goblin eldritch knight...

This was revealed two weeks ago in session, and I spent those two weeks trying to figure out why a sea goddess of chaos who is very much not known for mercy would save my little amnesiac archaeologist.

And then I tried to plug him into @jewishdragon‘s custom alignment chart. I asked for help placing him and started listing some of the things he’s done. Then, it dawned on me that despite diplomatic attempts (-1 Char mod) he’s caused quite a bit of general chaos.

The first town he got to with the party happened to be the same town that the therianthropic blood cult who tried to sacrifice him was based. Umberlee spared him from bleeding out (magic initiate feat explained).

Upon arriving in town, Bug made certain to wear the ceremonial headdress the cult placed on him for most of his time in public there. Not all of the townies were cultists, but they all recognized the sacrificial helmet and were all made very uncomfortable by it.

At the local tavern that night, there’s a card game and Bug ventures over to join. He puts his trademark scarab medallion up for this hand. Bug wins the hand, grabs his medallion and winnings, then ducks out of the card game pissing off all of the townies and some of the caravan involved. Including some weird blue-skinned dwarf (who may be related to Bug’s near-death).

The party fights a few of the were-cultists that night to prevent them from kidnapping caravan members. We successfully kill all five of them. Bug proceeds to severe the head of the wereboar and carries it around town strapped to his back the next day looking for someone with dermestid or scarab beetles to clean the skull off for him.

That also happened to be the day he ate our kobold chef’s golden curry (grants telepathy). Bug passed his save, the townies who decided to eat some because Bug seemed fine did not. [The DM has informed us we may have a newly awakened warlock or 2 on our hands if we ever go back through there.]

More chaos ensued once the caravan got got to Luxheim. Bug only caused some of it.

During 3 weeks of downtime, he scouted most if not the entire ruined city. He only got into two fights during that time (his Int is 15). The first being when our bloodhunter unwittingly freed a gunpowder ooze from a barrel no-one could read the label on. Bug kept using firebolt on it, demonstrating that goblin science is a combination of gnome science and kobold science. Then, the PCs had to save some lvl 1 NPCs from 2 large slimes in the sewers. Turns out Thunderwave is a novel way to get someone out of a gelatinous cube.

Bug and Bohala (dwarf fighter) mined some weird green and purple crystals while exploring. Thankfully the wild magic crystals just blared out music when the two of them used the biggest one to try to signal some dwarves Bohala invited from across the frozen bay.

A 50ft celestial shark ridden by a Kuatoa preist came cruising out of the city to the by when the dwarvish ironside steamer started firing at the skeletal wyvern showing up across the other side of the bay with Dirk the reasonable wraith. The massive shark went across the top of the water to attack the dwarves (explained later).

After commandeering a landing boat and getting the dwarf to get us out to the shark, the 3 of us who showed up managed to fight the giant shark and priest. Only our poor bloodhunter had to make con saves not to drown.

First we managed to kill the priest. Our skeletal bard turning the shark into a boat (DM’s call) really helped in that respect since it made it much more difficult for the sharp to roll like that.

Once we killed the kuatoa cleric, we had to contend with the 50t celestial shark who was now a shark again thanks to the huge waterweird it was bonded with breaking the bard’s concentration.

Bug managed to crawl into one of the shark’s gill slits and used Shape Water to make an air pocket for himself. Meanwhile the bard and the bloodhunter had to hang onto the shark as it dove and rolled.

Bug slashed and bit at the gill membrane (with disadvantage), used Thunderwave to little effect, and successfully got the killing blow burning an exit hole through the giant shark with Aganazzar’s Scorcher.

After getting the dwarves and the wraith settled, we looted the shark. Bug only wanted it’s 2ft long teeth since it didn’t have much of historical worth in its guts apart from some old paintings and a sealed chest with very clear warning labels (he passed his Wis-save to overcome his curiosity).

That encountered prompted Bug to try to figure out which deity had saved him (nat1). It was totally Peylor. Thankfully, the bloodhunter asked him why he thought that and figured out (nat20) that it was actually Umberlee before Bug started praying.

The dream he gets says, “Open the city. Let the path open.” Still no idea what that means.

Bug had a sword commissioned to be made from one of the celestial shark teeth with the symbol of Umberlee on it. A DM roll later, and Bug had a Sword of the Mysterious Stranger.

We find out about The Curator when Baron Geoff (the bard) manages to catch one of the crows. Bug is trying to be helpful and accidentally spills the beans on some things. So we had to figure out where the Curator’s goons were going to go a raid it first. We narrowed it down to an island with Kuatoa in the harbor and an old battlefield Bug had a map for and had been itching to get to.

We sent the party of now lvl 2 NPCs to the island and convinced Dirk the wraith to go assist them. The party proper managed to gather some NPCs to help us go scout the battlefield. Bug lost a day trying to tame some of the large goats roaming just outside of town while the rest of the party did other preparations.

We did manage to convince some NPCs to join us on our trip to the battlefield. A goblin gambler, an older cleric with a winter wolf, a dwarfish gunslinger, and a fey woodchuck.

Bug the convinced the fey woodchuck to accompany us so they could continue messing with the gunslinger.

The bloodhunter convinced the gunslinger to come so he could keep an eye on the fey woodchuck.

Bug followed the fey woodchuck through a Transport Through Trees spell, and asked to be sent to the battlefield. No one else in the party had thought to do so (we were all there). So they got to figure out a way to get to the battlefield. Turns out the coastal wizard a day’s trip from town is only lvl 4, so they had to ride oxen from the caravan.

The upside to this was that Gesento(sp?) got paid with the sharktooth shield Bug had him commissioned before heading out.

Thanks to being in the fey wild, Bug got transported to the battlefield 4 days prior. He remembered to thank and pay the fey. Then, spent the next 6 days scurrying about finding, logging, and deducing everything he could about the battle. Including some more recent spine devil spikes.

The bloodhunter found a sword that was buried that Bug overlooked. Bug recalled a story about a noble who refused to leave his castle as it sank, and a knight who had come from said castle (nat20). But the source was pretty sketchy.

The Currator’s crows show up, so Bug starts distracting them. Being a terrible liar did and didn’t help. Accidentally outing the Bloodhunter as being a Bloodhunter and asking the crows what they knew of the Promethean (dead language) phrase “seek the dead brother”, the crows (lesser undead themselves) got VERY riled up.

The Currator’s skeletal Kenku goons started showing up and a fight ensued involving a coatl that was acting weird. As soon as the skellies were dispatched, Bug booked it for the trapdoor Rolland had dug out in a fortified hut. Inside was a spiral stairwell. Bug tied some rope to the railing, then proceeded to slide down the hand rail w/o issue (nat20). Which also meant he went sailing off the end of it cartwheeling across the floor, setting off all of the traps behind him, a subterranean courtyard and stopping abruptly by slamming into a tree in its center (nat1) after causing a loud ruckus.

Found the sunken castle!

Thankfully the werewolves that lived there weren’t part of the cult and didn’t kill us since Rolland smoothed things over with them. And we successfully defeated The Currator’s goons! Bug was happy to had some more skulls to his collection.

He also made some Kenku jaw bone pauldrons for our Drow Light Cleric. Yes, you read all of that sentence correctly.

#agent of chaos #he made sure the good werewolves got some of the mythril gear as recompense #dnd #dnd chaos #dnd stories #goblin eldritch knight #goblin archaeologist #accidental agent of chaos

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neverwatchedonepiece · 5 years

Text

609-610: "Luffy Dies from Exposure?! The Spine Chilling Snow Woman Monet" and "Fists Collide! a Battle of the Two Vice Admirals!"

Surrounded by trash, unsure of location or direction. Too real, Luffy. Too real.

I feel like a broken record at the moment but Punk Hazard really is delivering.

Across 609 and 610, we had Law vs Vergo with a surprise interruption by Smoker. Caesar was the subject of unexpected character development. Even Luffy vs Monet had a twist, with Luffy falling into a trash compactor and meeting a tiny talking dragon.

I bet that’s Foxfire’s son. The little dragon had a kid’s voice.

I’m just glad the big dragon the Strawhats roasted wasn’t Momonosuke (@mrkashkiet, I am looking at you sternly. xD)

Law Just Cannot Quit Smoking

And does not want to.

The action picked up with Vergo hoofing it to the SAD Room. Speed lines ahoy!

Inside, Law slowly drew his sword in front of a vast tank of SAD Gas. Not sure what he was planning to do, but let’s not dwell on it, in case his plan was literally explosive.

Vergo appeared at the door. “I feel like my hand has been bitten by my own dog. This is too much even for a mischievous child. You were always too smart for your own good. People like you tend to die young.”

You know, I’m not keen on stoic villain types but I’ve got to admit that Vergo has some killer lines.

“It would be easiest to crush your heart but I won’t do that. I’ll torment you slowly as I please and warp your smart ass face with fear.”

Like I said, good lines.

He wailed on Law with grim purpose to the point I found myself shouting, “Come on, Law! ROOM YOURSELF OUT OF THERE!” Law was not having a fun time. (Dare I say, he was SAD?)

But his instinct for shit-talking was irrepressible. “Are you guys frustrated because your scheme is coming crashing down? Is this thing that important to you?”

Well, yeah... If Caesar is *the only person* who can make whatever it is that Doflamingo wants, then SAD must be profitable. Profits before pals seems to be Doflamingo’s modus operandi, but I don’t get the feeling Law is all that surprised Vergo is trying to kill him.

Law did fight back. There was an attempt. He tried to Room his heart back. But Vergo is fast and snatched Law’s heart from the air.

The worst thing, though? Vergo punched Law so hard he lost his hat. That is not cool. It must have riled Law enough for him to try his (awesome) Counter Shock attack. It was big, flashy and high voltage, but it only left Vergo lightly toasted.

Vergo must have decided to kill Law then because he said, “I have a message from Joker. He said, ‘What a shame.’”

Law was weirdly zen about the whole situation. “Oh, well. It didn’t work. I was pretty sure I could take my heart back from Caesar, but I didn’t expect you here, Vergo.”

The lack of -san honorific was the last straw for Vergo. He squeezed Law’s heart like a stress ball. Toei’s red filter descended. Soul-shredding pain was experienced. Law screamed a lot. As you would if your heart was being squeezed by a maniac.

Then, a shaft of light descended from the vaulted heavens.

Except not really because it was Smoker.

It’s almost the same thing.

Vergo was typically cool about the interruption. “I’m in the middle of something. Does it have to be now, Vice-Admiral Smoker?”

And I did a backflip. Yes. Excellent interruption. Great timing, Smoker! Now stop being so fixated on the Big Tanks That Go “Blort” and execute your glorious revenge!

Really, now I think about it, Vergo is almost as bad as Caesar. When Smoker called Vergo out on his deceit and told him not to tell the G5 Men as he was a father figure to them, Vergo said, “Don’t tell me you actually care about those guys? I’m a base commander. I can do whatever I want to my no-good subordinates.” Another one who treats other people as disposable pawns.

Unsurprisingly, Smoker and Vergo came to blows. Smoker seems to be having more luck than Law, but then Vergo does not have Smoker’s heart in a box. What I’d like to happen is Smoker retrieving Law’s heart and they tag-team Vergo into oblivion.

That sounded wrong. But you get what I mean.

Star Wars Episode IV: A New Rubbery Hope

How did Luffy end up in the Death Star’s trash compactor?

His battle with a bird woman from Hoth went south. Literally.

And I cannot believe I am about to say this, but I kind of wish Luffy’s fight with Monet was a little bit longer. Her powers are great. Her self-awareness and cunning are too.

She maintained those ten layer kamakura walls without breaking a sweat. When Luffy smashed one layer, she wrapped another around her frozen prison without missing a beat. Luffy knew she was stalling for time and said he’d just break every layer quicker than she could replace them.

“I bet,” she said. Then swept up behind Luffy and, in an oddly flirty manner, whispered in his ear, “I don’t think I’ll win if I fight you, but the strongest isn’t always the winner in a fight.”

Then she grabbed him and wrapped him, literally, in winter’s embrace.

That hypothermia power was quite cool (no pun intended). Paired with those desolate, snowy vistas and her eerily calm voice urging Luffy to let go, to sleep, relax and let it be, Monet’s Devil Fruit seems pretty strong to me.

But just as Luffy was about to pass out, Zoro’s voice - the very warning he yelled at Luffy a couple of episodes ago - cut through the darkness. “THIS IS JUST THE BEGINNING OF THE NEW WORLD!”

I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of the blue filtered haki moments. When he sprang up and let loose that Jet Spear attack, I cheered.

Then he fell through the floor into a garbage chute and I laughed.

It was cool, though. He’s rubber. He’d bounce. And sure enough, it wasn’t long before he was raking through broken gadgets for food. At which point a tiny dragon spoke to him and that is where the story ended.

I am now 75% sure that tiny dragon is Momonosuke. It had a kid’s voice. Probably should be a higher percentage than that but I like to hedge my bets, haha.

Chopper Looks Like Every Harried Substitute Teacher Ever

While Luffy was readjusting to life in a trash compactor with a small talking dragon, Monet flapped away to tick off another box on the never ending to do list: securing the Addicted Experiment Kiddies.

Said kiddies were knocking lumps out of Chopper with their ferocious addict strength. He could not restrain them without hurting them. He tried to convince them not to eat the candy. “I know it’s hard but you have to endure it!”

The thing is, Chopper was dealing with a double helping of trouble here. Not only are they kids, who are naturally more self-centred due to their developing brains. They are also addicts who are so far down the rabbit hole of whatever drug Caesar was peddling they’ll do anything for a fix.

When Chopper’s rumble ball wore off, the kids trampled him and thundered straight for the Biscuit Room, where Mocha was waiting alone.

Luckily, he was picked up by Nami, Zoro, Usopp, Robin, Brook and Foxfire. (Do not remember Brownbeard hanging around. Did he leave or did he just not have any lines?)

Robin tried to restrain the kids. That was interesting for two reasons: one, I didn’t know Robin could feel damage sustained by her extra hands, and two, she asked Usopp and Brook to try and find a pair of Sea Prism Stone cuffs because Luffy had asked her to. (I bet his plan is to cuff Caesar!)

The kids charged Mocha, who tried to tell them the candy was evil! Then Monet whirled into the room on a frosty zephyr. (The best part of this entrance was when Usopp shouted: “I TOLD YOU THERE WAS A BIRD WOMAN!” He was finally vindicated.)

Yay, thought Mocha. It’s Monet-san. She’s lovely!

Nooooope. Monet told her, in a sweet, ever-so-reasonable voice that it wasn’t nice to keep all the candy for herself. Mocha should share it with the others, like always. Mocha’s little face when she sensed betrayal was just heart-wrenching. “Why?” she whispered.

Because Monet is a nasty piece of work just like Caesar? Just a thought.

Not sure what’s going to happen here. There are a *lot* of Strawhats in the room, so I’m guessing Monet will be defeated by them. Then they’ll push through, deliver the cuffs and - BAM - we have one angry, kidnapped scientist.

Sanji Acquires Unexpected Fans

This was a short scene but the fact that Sanji has a cadre of devoted fans in the G5 is hilarious. Yeah, he claims he doesn’t want their approval. And he probably doesn’t.

But Sanji cannot stop himself running back to save the poor saps who can be saved.

This is the Sanji I like: surly on the outside with a golden heart on the inside. More, please!

And the Academy Award for Best Actor goes to . . .

CAESAR CLOWN!

Seriously.

The yarns this guy can spin could crush the GDP of a small textile-dependent country.

Caesar should run for office somewhere. Then he could appoint himself head of the science department.

For that is exactly what has been bugging him for years, it seems. He wants Vegapunk’s job.

Well... maybe not the job. (He’s getting by just fine thanks to pirates. A Government job would ruin that). It’s the fame and kudos. That’s what he’s after.

Plus he has a weird goal: to achieve world peace by obliterating all sources of conflict - collateral damage be damned. Unless he’s lying about that. Given his oscar-winning performance, that would not surprise me.

The action picked up with Caesar caesaring through a pipe and landing outside the Secret Room (I laughed when I realised everyone on Punk Hazard literally calls it the Secret Room).

He was bitching about having to enter the room because it was Vegapunk’s old office. Still, he claimed it was the only place where he could “pull it off”. (I am unsure why he had to go to Vegapunk’s old office just to close some doors, but I’ll chalk it up to plot and say no more.)

He promised to make Luffy, the Strawhats, G5 and Trafalgar Law pay for ruining his plan. It was all their fault! The experiment could have been a great show - everything perfect and beautiful and befitting of the world’s greatest scientist (Vegapunk says hi!) But they screwed it up. He couldn’t let the Strawhats do as they liked. They’d pushed it a little too far and he has Joker on his back now.

He ordered a minion to close the gates to Buildings C and D. This would lure all survivors into one narrow room. His plan? Trap them in the bottleneck and pump the room full of his poison gas through the air vents. He would broadcast it as a snuff movie for the brokers. That would show them what he was really made of!

But the minions hang on his every word and they caught one small discrepancy.

“Um... did you say that *you* had created the poison gas, Master?”

Caesar’s haughty reply was, “Yes, I did.”

“But it’s like Vegapunk’s gas. It freaks us out.” Understandably, the minions probably have ptsd from four years ago.

The moment when Caesar realised he’d let his ego run away with him and opened his big mouth was glorious. How could he spin this? How? The animators did a great job here. You could see the evil, conniving cogs turning in his mind.

Then he broke out his Oscar winning performance.

“This is . . . an avenging battle of science. My people! That day, I tried to stop the mad scientist, Vegapunk. No! If such a weapon exploded, what would happen to the people on the island?” Caesar even threw in a melodramatic “YAMEROOOOO, VEGAPUNK!” for some extra emotional sparkle.

“But the accident happened. And he still lords if over us as the head of the science department of the Marines. and he’s considered the world’s greatest scientist. I cannot tolerate it! He’s the cruel man who hurt you all! Do you think it’s right that people still call him the number one scientist? That’s why I want to prove them all wrong. I didn’t want to make a weapon of mass destruction! But I want to show them that there is a greater scientist here. That I am the greatest scientist in the world! When the Marines acknowledge it and when I become head of the science department, my dream will come true. I can use my scientific knowledge to bring peace to the world!”

I honestly had to stop myself giving Caesar a standing ovation. What a performance that was.

You know, it’s weird. Every lie Caesar told there has a basis in truth. That’s the most dangerous liar right there because the lies they tell are more believable. Does the Gas-Gas Fruit confer gaslighting powers too? Because Caesar is a hellishly efficient manipulator.

And while Caesar was congratulating himself, a flashback happened!

Caesar is Prime Material for /r/IAmVerySmart

Caesar with a bob was weird. I’m guessing when he moved to Punk Hazard, there was a lack of stylists, so he just grew his hair out. That hair you see right now? That is four years of growth.

At any rate, Caesar was doing something a bit more important back in Vegapunk’s lab. He was debating morality with some other scientists. They begged him to stop his experiment. If it exploded, it would kill everyone on the island.

Caesar was typically receptive to criticism. “STFU, boneheads! Where do you think you are? This is a Marine research facility. They want to kill as many pirates as the can. What they need is a weapon that will do it for them.”

“But they don’t want one that will also kill civilians!”

Caesar’s rebuttal? “It’s called collateral damage! If we blow away everything, we can bring peace to the world.” (Does he genuinely believe that? That’s a properly depressing view of the world he holds there, if true.)

“You’re so...”

Caesar had a, “I’m gonna stop you right there” moment. They wanted to say he was cruel? What a joke. They were using prisoners as guinea pigs as if they were trash. What was the difference? (Fair point, Caesar.) Moreover, Admiral Sengoku was too soft, but Akainu, if he was in charge, *he* would want a weapon Caesar made. (Also interesting. I hope Caesar never decides to change sides again. He would be dangerous in Akainu’s hands.)

He went off on one about how Vegapunk had failed to turn people into giants again. Caesar knows you can’t turn people into giants in a short period of time unless you use magic, so had suggested Vegapunk just kidnap some kids and feed them drugs until something worked. What a lovely idea, Caesar! xD

The flash forward revealed Caesar’s “William Birkin Moment”.

Just as he made a significant discovery, Marines burst in and cuffed him with sea prism stone. Vegapunk himself came to see off his old colleague. I was ONE HUNDRED PERCENT HYPED for about half a second. But there was no face.

Blue balled. Again. xD

Caesar was summarily dismissed from the Science Department. “Your eccentric behaviour is intolerable and I cannot protect you anymore, Caesar.”

Interesting that what the rest of the scientists did was viewed as fine and dandy, but Caesar taking it a step further was regarded as “eccentric”. First off, eccentric is a gross understatement. Secondly, what they’re doing is pretty evil too. Caesar is just overtly, unashamedly amoral. They hide it better.

Suffering such a humiliation, Caesar had his “SCREW YOU!” moment and pushed the big red button. Punk Hazard went up in a Mighty Kaboom-Boom Cloud.

Still wondering how they all survived that, but I will chalk it up to plot and say no more.

Of course, after Caesar’s theatrics, his minions fell over themselves to apologise. Sorry, Master! You are the saviour, after all.

“Thank you... thank you all,” Caesar simpered, while inside he called them unintelligent fools. So easily manipulated. Dumb as bricks.

This guy needs taking down several pegs. Maybe an entire cloakroom rack.

Luffy, please oblige asap.

Caesar tells a rip-roaring, thigh-slapper of a yo momma joke.

(No one laughed.)

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mycng-blog · 5 years

Text

°✧｡ [PARK JIWON, CIS FEMALE, SHE/HER] IT’S BEEN TWO YEARS SINCE ECLIPSE JOINED VELIA FROM SAN JOSE, CA, USA. APPARENTLY THEIR NAME IS OLIVIA MYUNG AND THEY’RE A ROGUE. THEY HAVE BEEN FIGHTING AS A CATALYST MEMBER FOR A WHILE NOW. DIDN’T PEOPLE SAY THEY WERE NOT A BETA TESTER? I HEARD THEY TURNED TWENTY-ONE THIS YEAR. LET’S HOPE THEY MAKE IT OUT ALIVE.

hi, friends! i’m dri (nineteen, she/her, pst), ur local computer game science major + dance coverist from los angeles, and i’m super pumped that velia’s up and running again! i know i’m... quite tardy... but that’s just an inherent trait of mine and the sole reason why my games professor knows my name JDKLGHSD pls understand! so, anyway, here’s my girl olivia eclipse! i don’t have anything really polished for her, so i hope y’all don’t mind any potential rambling under the cut! if you’re interested in plotting connections, feel free to im me or ask for my discord! i may be slow to respond, but i’m still out here!

C://REALITY/BEFORE_VELIA.TXT

growing up, olivia lived a rather well-off life. her mother was an executive for a pharmaceutical company, and her father was a well-reputed patent attorney.

from the get-go she was set up for success in whatever path she decided to take in life. enrolled in piano lessons at an early age, prep classes that took up far too much of her time on the weekends, her parents brought up their only child with a lot of pride and, surprisingly, a lot of love.

despite being a friendly gal who seemed to have a lot of friends in her inner circle, she really only had two people who stuck with her throughout all of her years in school. there were plenty of times when she felt lonely, especially with her local prominence on social media. she had a lot of connections but no connections, ya feel?

before getting stuck in velia, she was attending a respected music conservatory in the bay area for cello performance! she had been playing since she was about 11, taking both private lessons and being in her schools’ respective orchestras.

she had never been that much of a gamer type, but her two best friends selene and leon had beta tested velia and wanted the three of them to be able to play it together. coincidentally, her birthday was close enough to the release date, so her parents treated her to a headset and the game. big miss steak.

C://VIRTUAL/INSIDE_VELIA.TXT

tw: murder

first thing’s first, she chose the rogue class because she wanted to be cool and mysterious pretty much LHGSKJHSD it was a difficult choice between rogue and mage but she decided that knives and daggers seemed pretty badass and went with it.

when she and her friends found out that they were trapped in the game, olivia was very, very much in denial. even after seeing that they couldn’t log out, she thought it was just a bug, or a joke. that it would get fixed soon enough. about a week had passed before she actually acknowledged the fact that they were stuck. and she was pissed.

she “celebrated” her birthday in the game, somewhere in the town of beginnings, but it wasn’t that much of a celebration. she was supposed to be with her family at home, eating hot pot and going out for gelato like they always did when her birthday came around. instead, she was trapped in a game unlikely to see her parents or anyone else in reality ever again. if she didn’t have her two best friends with her, she honestly wouldn’t have been able to cope. :0

for the first few months, olivia, now eclipse, just stuck with selene and leon, the three of them taking on the floors at their own pace. they had a pretty good system going, but tensions were high after a tough dungeon battle.

to this day, olivia is unsure of what triggered the sudden outburst. perhaps it had just become too much. perhaps felicity snapped because of it. but a heated argument between selene and leon — their health bars already dangerously low — ended with leon’s game over.

olivia stood there, trying to comprehend what had just happened. she doesn’t remember how it started or hearing selene’s pleas of justification. she only remembers the sound of her daggers piercing selene until she was no longer there. *cue visual of olivia shaking and dropping her daggers, sobbing*

she went solo for a while, waiting for her cursor to drop back to green. she spent this time focusing on her skills and leveling up, partying up here and there with whoever was willing. after the incident, she had lost some of her grip on reality. real life was only a dream at this point. this was real life.

while her cursor was still orange, she was scouted by a small red guild. however, when she declined their offer, the recruiter that approached her resolved to kill her instead. despite her life being on the line, olivia couldn’t muster up the courage to fight, frozen like when she watched selene and leon duke it out. she would have been dead if it had not been for a player who had come across the altercation and saved her.

some time after that, her cursor went back to green and she was brought into a green guild. she was with them for a couple months before they kicked her out and left her behind in her sleep during one of their trips. there were rumors that she had killed fellow guild members in the past and was plotting to kill them as well, despite having a green cursor. they didn’t want to risk it.

and with that, olivia was alone again.

she really believed that she was destined to be a solo player forever. destined to not belong anywhere. she didn’t have a mount or a pet due to the fear of it leaving her too. so she continued solo for a few months again.

olivia found that she was good at partying up and parting ways. it saved her from the attachment and eventual ache from being left alone again, especially if she had no hopes from the start.

however, a particular individual who partied up with her more than one — maybe even became friends with her and farmed with her on one of the floors — happened to be a catalyst member.

she would have declined their offer to join the guild but two things: 1) she was afraid of dying like the close call from last time and 2) she had grown somewhat fond of her new friend (despite the obvious trust issues she now harbors)

so ever since then, she’s been with catalyst! obviously she didn’t feel 100% at home because of her fear of being left behind, but as time passes, she feels better about the entire situation. she also had mixed feelings about their orange status in the beginning, but she doesn’t really care anymore. at least she’s not alone.

in terms of personality, the way she carries herself varies on a person-to-person basis, but she’s generally pretty wary of her surroundings. upon entering a room, she immediately scans the area before feeling any bit at ease.

she’s lost touch of her motivation to finish the game, but she’s out here trying to survive anyway!

C://PLOTS/WANTED.TXT

someone who happened to witness the incident between olivia, selene, and leon from afar (this can go any direction tbh; they could’ve confronted her at some point, or maybe it just happened to be a passing thing and this is an add-on to another connection)

the player who rescued her from the red guild member (maybe she owes them or maybe they did it out of kindness; may or may not have seen each other again after oOoOo)

player who recruited her into catalyst after partying up with her a couple times, etc.

former party members! she’s been in many, many parties at different points of her velia experience, so it’d be interesting to have that variation of people who’ve known her as different iterations of olivia (if that makes sense)

they knew each other in the real world, whether it be online or in real life

they want to kill her but something is stopping them

maybe they knew her earlier in the game before selene and leon were eliminated and it’s like “tf happened to u where r ur two buddies” once they reunite (cue her having to revisit the incident)

an “i don’t need your help” type of thing where your character is trying to white knight or even just lend a hand and she’s is like No Thanks

exes sort of thing? a girl was Lonely as a solo!

more people that left her for different reasons while she was solo DSLJKGHSDG

a sibling-type relationship where your character feels obligated to protect olivia but not as much in a white knight type of way

#veliaintro #dri Finally enters LDSGLSDKGS #ive been so tired bc of the holidays n stuff tht ive just been knocking out every time i go to work on this #also this might b a lit . long im sorry KJDSGHS #think of it like every sentence ? a bullet point dw dw

11 notes · View notes

theeverbloomingdarkness · 5 years

Text

THE MUN PLAYS KH3

Here are my notes/comments I made while playing through KH3. The thoughts that went through my head.

***SPOILERS FOR EVERYTHING POSSIBLE. SPOILERS. SPOILERS.***

Tuesday, Jan 29th. 5:00 pm.

-Finally home and ready to play. Colored lights on, fluffy pants on, favorite blanket nearby, cats fed, pizza in oven, cold water in fridge, juice smoothie drink standing by. Waiting on my pizza to finish so I can eat dinner while listening to the title screen music. Have not put game on yet. (Just so happened to get my Marluxia keychain the other day too! Got my game today.)

-Here we goooooOOOOOO.

-OATH ORCHESTRAL IS SO PRETTY. Also expected recap. I bet there will be a lot of flashbacks in the game (update: not at all).

-Cable town seems a precarious place to live- also a pain to get around. Pretty. there’s a LOT of islands. (Update: homeworld of Keyblade wielders? Or base)

-Eraqus playing dumb? Messing with Xehanort? Or is he actually just like that and doesn’t know.

-Queue intro. Music feels off slightly but that could just be because I saw the trailer one first. Also new Marluxia content, gonna need a gif of that little clip jumping over the scythe.

-Darkside, of course. Nostalgia reasons. Would have been more interesting if they changed up the fight with him, I think. He’s always been a pretty lame fight.

HERCULES WORLD

-Cutscenes feel much more natural (first reaction). Also Donald getting shit on, always fun. (Update: the amount of shitting on each other in this game is unreal)

-Hercules’ new voice… Is it new? IDK, but I find it unnerving.

-The Instagram loading screens are weird? Not a big deal.

-Maleficent’s much needed glow up.

-The graphics are odd because some things look super good and then some things look kinda weird sometimes. IDK I just started. Generally very pretty.

-SORA, DONALD, GOOFY. Is this going to be a thing again? (Update: yes, it is)

-Guess Phil isn’t going to talk at all? Sort of weird (Update: speaking of NOT SPEAKING. Aeleus and Dilan. Not a single peep. Wow.)

-Xigbar’s voice is changing into Xehanort’s now. Someone help him.

-Holy shit an NPC. WTF was that scene??? I think that’s all that needs to be said here. Just, what? How did that even work? No idea where the girl was/how far? Didn’t see any fire? Too slow? Yeeted into the universe. Little girl saved???

-Jumping around when you get hit with fire is annoying.

-Fighting those Titans was a shirt storm. It was soooo janky for me. (update: the combat in this game is incredibly aerial based)

-“May your hear-- ?” Unsure if game bugged or not. (Update: I get it now. Thanks, epilogue.)

-So Axel DOES get an outfit, wonder if we’ll ever see him wear it. (Update: AT THE VERY END

-Phone call. Is it my boy IENZO??? Oh, nope. D: WAIT, there he is.- -MOODY AELEUS??? What does he have against Roxas? Just because he left the Organization? Yeah, like Axel. Stop the bias against the other Org members.

-GODDAMMIT they did it again with the title card.

TWILIGHT TOWN

-Seifer and gang left for a “hero’s journey”.

-IENZO SPYING? IENZO CHUCKLE. Ienzo didn’t know= that makes sense. He’s so…happy (Update: he really is chipper in this game) -KIDNAPPED EVEN? -Just get Even to make him a body. -I too could go for some hot wings, little girl -Talking about Sora. I figured, but I hoped.

-Darn you Axel for being attractive -DILAN

IT’S MARLUXIA TIME. MARLUXIA TIME. MARLUXIA TIME

-What a lovely world; everyone’s having a nice time… It sure would be a shame, if someone….ruined it.

-Mar you creep. PINK EYES?

-FAVOR? Oh. :I Balance, eh? Do you believe that Mar? Also would rather forget? Himself, or does he mean Sora?

-Marluxia does indeed dislike nicknames.

-Is Marluxia really out to protect the light/Rapunzel for balance? If it were anyone else it’d be easy to write off. (Update. Like Larx for this story it’s just about making sure they have the PoH backups)

-Time for Mar to be an ass. Lol. Sounded like he wasn’t even trying. He likes it when they run. Also I guess Mar tied Flynn up in this version? -HE’S SO PRETTY -SLEEP BOY! Also…Mar? New power? Lol. How handy, wish I could do that to myself. (Also the comment about him being good at sleeping or something? Guess he knows that from DDD? When they were all there at the end. Or upon learning he was in a pod for a year.)

-The bosses thus far have been huge and really annoying to hit/air battles.

-On Marluxia, still looks like they’re just using him for Nort fodder at this point. Even though it still makes no sense at all.

-And I’m sure that’s all I’m gonna get this game for Marluxia.

-ALSO, Reapers baby. CALLED IT.

-Get Even to make one! Well Goofy’s right, Ienzo might be able to do it. OH MY GOD I CALLED IT. Good job Riku for being smart.

-*Sidenote: If you haven’t seen Tangled some things might seem disconnected to you as a player. (Update: this goes for most of the Disney worlds actually.)

TOY STORY

-Final Fantasy??!?!?! LOL Riku and Noctis fusion

-WTF. Shot by YMX into Square Enix? Oh nope, Gigas.

-OOO Woody burn. No one loves you Xehanort.

-Should have been ,“There’s a snake in my boot”

-ANOTHER Woody burn.

-I feel like Young Xehanort learned something they already knew???

-OH YEP. Need Even. I wonder if Aeleus and Dilan will talk in this game (Update: nope)

-OOOO Evil meeting. Everyone yell so you can hear each other. DAMN IT VEXEN, you mad science man. At least it’s a believable reason for Vexen. Unlike Marluxia, which is total bullshit

-Gummi flying takes forever.

FROZEN. Ready to see my girl Larxene

-This is literally the my friends are my power game with the way the combat is set up (Update: Very Aerial and AOE oriented gameplay)

-Also enemies have a lot of HP

-Lol. Oh yeah, memory loss. They filled her in.

- Using the electricity to move the blocks and trap them… I can be like, ok I’ll buy that. But this is a complex-ass labyrinth

Along with Marluxia’s sleep thing and now this,… Headcanon that it’s due to Xehanort influence possibly?

-Larxene Nobodies! They look like ninjas. YEP. Just checked. Called Ninjas.

-Giant Larxene knife symbols on wall. Classy.

-Did Larxene just show Elsa up with that labyrinth btw?

-LET IT GO. LET IT GO. “I don’t know what I just saw”. lol

-What is with all this Larx ice using? I dun like it >.<

-Again boss is up so high the fight is really floaty and crazy

-What girl??? Who??? Namine? Kairi? Streli? Not Larxene . Must be Kairi. (Update: STILL DON’T KNOW THE GIRL. Future game plot point)

-KARATE Aqua

-Oh god, not Pooh Bear. Please be optional.

-Ienzo has an Instagram.

MONSTERS INC

-Alright Vani where you at?

-LMAO Sully just grabs him and throws him in a door xD That is a GOLDEN moment

-Ienzo’s gonna be the one who saves Xion Roxas and Ventus. Nice.

-This is “shit on each other the game” isn’t it?

-Oooo evil meeting. MY PALS. Marluxia is WOKE as fuck., he’s like nah he just wants our empty husk bodies as vessels. Larxene ain’t having it, yep, that’s what I thought. You? Canon ‘Marly’ Omg Benched, I believe it. REBEL GROUP. REBEL GROUP. (Update: I chanted this in my head a lot)

WHAT??? Another purpose? Luxord in. TELL US THE PURPOSE? All four of them? Wow. Demyx and Luxord in Union X confirmed. :/ Not a fan of this. Too many keyblades.

Ugh I want more plot Dx Gotta do Pirates.

*So it does seem like the four of them don’t want to be in the Org? But again they aren’t doing anything about it so???

So the reason they let them back (Mar and Lar even though traitors) is because they want their ancient keyblade powers. (Update: This is never mentioned again. Like, why does it matter to Xehanort? Did Xehanort pull them out of time? More questions)

PIRATES

- Vexen and Lux. Oooo Vexen not obeying. Luxooooord. REBEL GROUP. REBEL GROUP. -Pausing air fight to feed cats. Not enjoying this flying oof. Thank goodness it isn’t all shooting -Who needs air? -Wow nice ship and sails Luxord -Whatever you want eh Luxord? -Gonna honor the rules Lux? Did he lose on purpose? -Hope eh? -LOL No Parley. OOF breath on his face, into the ocean. Luxord just got burned. First Vanitas now Luxord - Dramatic walk scene? Awwww

-GDI Axel change your clothes -Was thinking this at the first scene but GDI I know people are going to ship these two

-Here comes darkqua? -A tale of two Ansems. Feeling Namine guilt? -Hayner bout to get FUCKED. WHAT GIRL? -WHAT THE FUCK? Nobodies? Who doing this??? -FUCK it’s Vexen. Good Vexen? What? :o Is he lying??? FUCK CLIFFHANGER. I appreciate all the diff character interactions in this game though. Does Vexen secretly have a heart of gold and is in on the REBEL GROUP?

BIG HERO 6

- Data Riku or Repliku? Going with Repliku. But the enemy is very codedesque. Also Data Riku is just Data, no body. Could also be timetravel bs - Replica confirmed. Not sure if it’s the same ”Repliku” - Hoping actual Repliku will come back. Riku did mention his other me after all

ALL PLOT FROM HERE ON OUT FINALLY

-Darkqua music was great

-Aaand she’s gone. Again. OR NOT

-Finally these two: Vexen and Demyx. DUNCE. LMAO their fighting. REBEL VEXEN. What’s in it for you, Demyx??? UHHH Not becoming Xehanort. (Demyx continues to be a douche character). Marluxia? Maybe. DEMYX TIME. Oh my god. Was that intentional??? LMAO Demyx is so ‘useless’ no one expects him to do anything. Nice FAMILY REUNION

VEXEN YOU LEGEND. I always liked him. Now it’s up to you Marluxia >:Y I think Vexen may have been talking about Ansem the Wise. Also may not still completely trust him because it says he went back willingly. Unless he changed his mind when learning about Ansem the Wise. (Update: Nope, Vexen really is a legend. I love him).

CASTLE OBLIVION -Vani fight, nice. Great music -HE UP. Go visit your old friend Mar.

-Ventus gets to meet both Axel and Marluxia as adults. How odd.

-Sudden Saix. So casual. WHAT GIRL? WHAT GIRL???? Is it Strelitzia? Skuld? New character? (Update: Again, future plot point.)

-Repliku with Riku.? YEP. DOPE. Save Namine? (Update: Yep. To protect Namine).

BATTLE TIME

-Enter Terranort. Shock for Ven to see. -Axel got fucked. -SHIT AN F5. - Everyone died. The end -STARS???? More pieces???? WAHHHT PAST? Union X Club??? Streli?! D’x

The Final World :O

-DEAD.

MARLUXIA? NO, VENTUS. YEP Ventus. Aw…

-Chirithy is great.

-Vexen gonna save the day with a replica? And Demyx lol. They both got benched. What a team up. (Update: And we never heard from them again. They literally just dipped from the Org and none of the Norts did anything. (Update: No idea what happened to Demyx. He dropped off the replica and was outie).

-DÉJÀ VU. Oof.

-EPHEMERA! THE KEEEEEYS. All the dead people

-UNION LEADERS KEYS. Also all the others, but I believe I saw five? What I’m saying is those four-five Starlights= Dandelion Union Leaders.

-??????? YEN SID DID SOMETHING HOLY SHIT

-Is Vexen with the coat guys up there??? -Also Demyx??? -Do they have a PLAN??? (Update: Nope, they literally just dipped).

-MARLUXIA THEME I HEAR IT

-MY CHILDREN WHY R U WITH XEHANORT???

-Thank you, Luxord awww. Such a cool guy…(Update: Sora still has the Wild Card)

AWww Larx. Heart tank? NO THANKS. Along for the ride- With?? (Marluxia?)

MY BOOOOOY Dx

*MEMORIES BACK???? Real laugh. A smile. He DID forget. Always about “purpose for being with Mar”. How did I predict that? (Update: Marluxia amnesia confirmed? Also why the heck didn’t /he/ rebel. Makes no sense. I blame Nomura. He also gave no reason for why he was following Xehanort. Again, it’s pretty BS. NO EXPLANATION.)

Riku down. Very interested in what Xigbar will have to say… Repliku repossession! NOOOO. Repliku stay! Roxas, of course.

PROTECT NAMINE. D’:

He just wanted that keyblade bro. What?????? Why the backwards drama D: (Update: Nope. Xigbar just playing the role, or should I say Luxu).

Fucking Axel. That smart mouth.

Saix would have let him die; also I knew it was Xion from trailers.

:O XION. He knew.

And Roxas is in. The music has been SO GOOD.

Vexen Zexion Ansem Demyx. LUL GET FUCKED Xemnas.

WHO IS THE HER>>>>

Vanitas sounds higher pitched in this game.

GUARDIAN??? This is weird.

I don’t believe in perma dead Kairi.

WHEN’S THE BOX? ALSO Luxord’s Wild Card!

*Btw guess Vexen and Demyx just left so the other Norts replaced them instead of doing anything about it

Awww, Saix. Or rather, Isa.

Didn’t shed any tears, but the part that got me feeling the most was with Xehanort and Eraqus tuff at the end, surprisingly

I KNEW IT WOULD END WITH A BEACH PARTY. Again, awwww, Saix.

*** WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO DEMYX? What did he even do to help besides delivering the replica LMAO??

WHY DIDN’T I GET TO SEE MY BOY IN THE ENDING? Maybe secret ending. ☹ (Update: Nah)

Oh yeah, Sora vanished btw.

*Xehanorts VA could have had a better performance.

-Wow. Xigbar really was the MoM? Union leaders alive? OH, nvm he’s Luxu. Guess he picked up on MoM’s behavior and mannerisms. Also been through many bodies I see… No Ava.

WHAT’S IN THE BOX GDI.

UH OH. New game board. 7 evils. Five being leaders and Xig, 2 Unkowns. Please don’t put Mar through more of that, IE make him be in another Org/group.

They never opened the box, did they.

#kh3 spoilers #spoilers #kingdom hearts 3 spoilers #kh spoilers #kingdom hearts spoilers

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ac-ars · 6 years

Text

soft hands, hungry hearts

okay so this is little tiny mess but hijita linda, chica de cielos, barbara belen de santiago can officially drink in united states of america now

happy birthday @sky-girls i love you so muchhhhhh

🌙

soft hands, hungry hearts

When Luna was younger, her heart never was about leaving everything behind, giving up on her schools and friends, Luna was really against moving from one place to other. She had felt safe at places she knew, surrounded by her people. And she didn’t have to move; her parents had stable jobs, all family wasn’t far from her Cancun. It had been the way she dreamed before and she wished she could stay like this forever, living endlessly with people she loves, with people that make her happy and stable, and soft and so, so willing to live.

And yet something changed. Something started pulling her fingers farther on her skating trips, softly sliding her hands around maps in geography classes, pushing her towards travel books when in library she was trying to find answers for her homework questions.

Her legs were always being stopped while a plane was over her head. Her hair flowing on the wind whenever she froze, staring at disappearing boat or small ship behind the curve of the Earth on the ocean, going through the water towards no one knows where. She started appreciating going somewhere away, long car drives, slow walks and good shoes.

There was something calling her and pulling, asking her to see something more and discover more. And more, and more, and then her life broke apart, because she really had to leave the place she loved more dearly than life and she was scared. So genuinely afraid what is going to happen now, what she will have to do now to find this level of peace and stabilization in her life.

In Buenos Aires she found friends, she found love who left far, far away to other place, to live another life without her just like he did many, many times before. She found her family, even if she already had everything set and at some point she could let herself accept the idea, that she doesn’t need her life to be stable.

She doesn’t want to look at the planes from steady ground, or watch ships leaving without her, trains passing her station without stopping, because it’s not important enough. She decided it was her time to see something more, to remember and to bless her eyes as long as she can. To torture herself with a change, to feel uncomfortable so much until it feels okay, until feels like something she needs or at least she accepts, and this very same thing over and over again, an after this to fall in love with foreign places, foreign people and cold waves in cold seas.

It wasn’t easy at the very beginning. Difficult to convince parents to let her, her aunt to let her, herself to try and at first it wasn’t anything special. It was a walk around Buenos Aires with silly map and circled places she needs to see, and try to remember how it felt to see something new. It wasn’t much. She has seen places she already knew, but she tried to act as if she was here for the first time, and those things take her breath away, as if she could never dream of being in this enormous city and yet she managed to catch a chance to be here. And she wasn’t even that tired.

Next thing she managed to do was going to vacations with her cousin, who would rather stay in the hotel over the swimming pool with some drink and a book. A time Luna used for walking around and taking pictures, breathing in sea breeze and trying to brush her hair after whole day in the wind. Walking to the very ends of the beaches and falling in love with sunset colors. It was too much for her, too much to take in at once, and at the same time it was never enough, she needed more and wanted more and that’s why she used old contacts and old friends.

England was cold, she never liked cold, but this weather could really be balanced with beautiful cliffs with wild waters around them, grey clouds and coats had their own magic, warm cups and sweaters, and long socks were the loveliest thing late in warm dorm, laughing at old times and making dreamy plans for future. Rainy forests in early mornings made her feel like freshly bloomed little thing, so easy and hungry for more.

She has seen big, beautiful sun of Spain, where her friend’s family let her stay. Castles that had her shook, lighthouses she did climb right after finding them with her eyes, sharp cliffs she climbed down to reach every tiny beach of possible. Big cities had her lost in the subway map, because Luna was too busy looking up at the modern, tall buildings made of glass and small old town balconies covered with flowers. Ate food she never really expect to eat or had been waiting for before.

Her feet were hurting, sometimes there was no laundry place close but it wasn’t like a bad thing, Luna knew, knows, that stuff happens and she didn’t really care, as long as she could sleep whole night in the train and have fresh bagels for breakfast while walking up one of the most famous places in the world. She has met many people, beautiful men and beautiful women, and still her heart was always aching for the only one that somehow was the only one thing missing in her life right now, and the one thing she desperately always needed, felt like sharing this piece of life and experience, telling him some words in this language she just learned or what she messed up.

She had been in love with places she never met, and now when she met them she just wants someone to share, but there is some time for this. She knows she will make it, get what she needs, just a little later than now, it’s not something one can reach..

It’s been days, and weeks, and months, she has been sending postcards to her home from every place, apparently people from here do this, she has been saving pictures, and sending them with letters so her parents don’t have to print them by themselves. She’s been texting the boy whom she loved so impossibly, so strongly, too much for a young person she is, but it didn’t matter, because there was no giving up here.

Long cruisers had her close to crazy when there was no land for long, long, long, long time and then it was, but not their destination so her hunger to see this tiny, not cared about island, maybe there were people just like her, waiting for the train stop on their station, and it never does, and maybe it never will until they will decide to catch it in some other place. Maybe they already decided to stay in peace in one place until the very end and just be happy with their own, small part of the world that was truly theirs and there was nothing that would take it out of their grasp.

After all these places, these cities she still hasn’t found her own place.

Her parents were home at this point, the only home she always knew and now she can see that this whole world is more than just having home as it’s a place, because there is many lands, many countries and small villages one will never possibly see and maybe this was the chance they lost. Maybe their soulmate is out there, waiting and they will never catch its calling, too busy with loud music and loud hearts not knowing what to have.

Science has always creeped her out until she got to see the northern lights, now science still creeps her out, but this is something too pretty to not like this, and maybe she will go to college and learn how are they happening, what causes them and how are they so breathtaking while she is damn frozen, because a Mexican shouldn’t really be in this place, and Luna knows this, as a snuggle bug always and forever she would really love to be with Gastón in some English place while drinking hot chocolate and laugh at him trying to speak with the accent.

Matteo told her he was going back to Argentina after few long, long months and she offered him to join her.

He declined. He needs to go to college and study some smart stuff, and this breaks her heart, even if it should not. She runs away to see tall waterfalls ever and maybe this is silly but it’s too loud to let her hear her thoughts. The water splashing around and covering the sun makes tiny rainbows and Luna wants to pack few into her pocket and carry around, and take home and show everyone. She is growing, she feels herself growing just like her hair without a hairdresser, dry after salty water of the oceans and seas, after lying on the sand and watching blue sky without even tint of white cloud. Tired after her hairbrush trying to go through those messy curls that wind tangled with its soft touch by the sea and on the tall mountains. Life has become messy and Luna thinks that maybe this is the time to finally head backwards, to her start place.

She takes few days of her and the ocean on the ship and now it sounds so easy to do, to cross the ocean for something, to see some fancy places she has always seen in the internet and maybe stalk some famous people, see a little more. The cities from movies she was watching back at home, and from music videos, be there, breathe with the air and make sure it smells a little funnier than she expected, slightly more normal, even if at night it’s always different that during the day.

And when she leaves the plane, with messy hair, and sleepy eyes, it’s not her mom who is there to see her, it’s him, with the softest smile that has ever existed, and when he hugs her she knows there will never be a place she loves to be in more.

She takes him for a trip around Buenos Aires with her old map. They hold hands all the time and talk about old times, and new times. About plans and dreams, and about differences. Because they are different people than they were months ago. He tells her he has all her pictures and postcards, she admits to have a picture of them in her wallet. Her cheeks hurt from laughing, while he promises her he will take her to his home one day, and feed her with Italian food as much as she will want and then he will let her drag him to the swimming pool, since the last time he was in one was when he made sure she wouldn’t drown when they were teenagers.

They stop by all the places they had managed to see together still before they took him away from her, and they all feel the same.

She and her Matteo will get older, they will change again, and again, and they will pass by while all those things here on their eyes will remain the same ages longer, experience many more generations and in some way this reminds her that she needs to make sure he doesn’t slip through her fingers again.

She sighs softly, not sure if to look at the already darkening sky, at the plane passing by, or if to look at him. And, for the first time she ignores the plane.

She has seen almost everything one could see on the world.

And yet there is nothing more beautiful than him.

#soy luna #lutteo #my writing

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thewildwaffle · 6 years

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Abduction - Chapter 3

This is going pretty well, I think. Thanks again for all the support! It’s really helping me stay motivated to keep writing!

This is a continuation from Chapter 1 and Chapter 2

Chapter 4

It was really bright. Like, stupid bright. Who has lights this bright? Ow.

Mike had to squint long before he could even think about opening his eyes. His nose really itched too, it felt like it was stuffed up. He reached up to scratch, but his hand was stopped by something that felt almost like a soft plastic dome. Maybe it was rubber? What the heck is this? He felt around, there were a lot of wires and tubes. Was he in the hospital?

“Ohhh…” his voice caught on his dry throat. “My… everything hurts. What the heck did I do this time?”

He moved his hand up to his eyes, shielding them from the light to try to get a look at the room he was in.

There were instruments attached to the walls, standing on wheeled carts, or hanging from the ceiling. Some were connected to hoses and nozzles. There were wires, screens, cupboards and drawers against several walls. The platform he was resting on had most of the wires and tube connected to or around it. There were diagrams posted on the walls, but not in a language Mike recognized. There was a beeping sound, like a heart-rate monitor, but the tone was higher and sounded like it was coming from some sort of musical instrument.

It certainly looked like a hospital. Just not like one he’d ever been in before. There was something… alien about it.

Oh.

Alien.

Mike gave a start as the events from the past few months rushed back. His scout ship, sent to do a quick orbit of Saturn to pick up an observation drone. The mysterious ship. Bright light. Then darkness. Cages. Food that could hardly be considered edible. Aliens that kind of looked like some ugly, hairy bug. Different needles, blades, vials, injections. He’d felt treated more like an animal than a human being. No, not even treated like an animal. More like a science experiment. Or a punching bag.

The machine in the background started beeping faster.

Oh no, he thought, Oh no, no, no, no. Where am I? What happened?

Clawed black hand reached to undo the lock. Exoskeleton clinked against the bars. They’d become relaxed around their prisoners. Thought they’d broken them. Complacent. Still dangerous. Just waiting for the right moment. That moment.

Them.

Two.

Where was Wenona?

The beeping was getting faster. A new sound started, a lower, longer sound.

They had snatched the guard’s weapon, knocked him unconscious. Locked him in one of the cells they’d been held in. They snuck their ways through the halls, taking out guards or officers when needed until the alarm sounded. They’d been found out. Even though they’d both been weakened by their time aboard the alien ship, there wasn’t a creature aboard that could stop them. Cuts. Burns. Scratches. Barricades. Blasters. They fought through them all to get to and take the control bridge. Wenona had been trying to figure out their position when another alien ship appeared on the screens.

Pain. Blood. The adrenaline was wearing off. It was getting harder to see, harder to stand up straight. Wenona helped him to hide. Tried to stop the bleeding.

Mike tried propping himself up to see if he could find Wenona. They’d both been captured around the same time. They’d been each other’s sole companionship during their time as prisoners. She’d saved his life. He needed to make sure she was still nearby, still okay.

The heart-monitor beeps got faster. The lower, longer sounding beeps got louder.

Mike pushed against the strange plastic-y cover. It moved easily enough, swinging away on hinges of some sort. He tried turning around to get a better look of the rest of the room. Owwww… ahhhh. It felt like every muscle in his body was made out of frozen rubber. He had been covered by a thin, soft blanket from the neck down. As he sat up, it slid down. He wasn’t wearing anything. The torn, bloody rags were gone. Probably a good sign, right? Whoever’s ship this is, at least cares enough to clean me up, and… He felt his side with his hand, Those are new scars. Completely healed scars.

How long have I been out?

Movement in the corner of his eye caught his attention. It was definitely alien.

If Mike had been standing, the alien would probably have been as tall as his chest. Looking at it quickly, one might mistake it for some strange, dry octopus, but the legs under the main part of the body was long and sturdy, ending in four stockier tentacle-feet. It’s skin was varying shades of brown ranging from the color of a dark chocolate candy bar to a lighter brown of a cardboard box with spots and streaks of purples and blues that must have formed some sort of camouflage pattern back on whatever planet it must have originated from.

“Krouschee fen glub you een denoo ing? You are abrehmf kroot. Dooka you understand kama I’mehs seraying?”

“What?”

“Dook. You. Underswand. Kat. I’mehs. Seraying?”

Mike looked puzzled at the alien. It didn’t seem dangerous. The features on its face looked… curious? Maybe even concerned?

“Umm… I understand you? Mostly.” Which was already saying a lot more than the previous aliens he had encountered. Good step. Good step.

“Kold on a momentehk. We’ve equipped you koob ap translator. It eereha take a momentehk to adjust, so I goos I will just keep talking until everyshringreh is sounding the way it should to you. Let’s see, I’m trying to thinkek of things to say, things to skray. My name is Demfar, I am the head medic. Todayshk I ate three kerber patties for my meal. Uh, I’ve been assigned to the ESS Gladius for nearly six of my world’s solar cycles. That’s about, oh.... I want to say about seven and a half deca-partecs?” He paused, he looked like he was running out of things to say. “Is this working yet, or not? Sometimes it takes only a few words to sync, but I’ve heard instances where it took half a day before it started getting everything translated properly. Can you understand me?”

“Uh, yeah, it’s working. I, uh, I understand you.”

A smile spread across Demfar’s face. Was it a smile? It at least it looked like it should be a smile. His large eyes creased slightly and the fins on the side of his face moved almost comically far upwards. Mike smiled back.

The fins on Demfar’s face dropped and his eyes widened. “Oh, my, I apologize. I didn’t mean to upset you. I meant no offense.”

“What? No, I was... I was smiling, it means I’m happy. I thought you were smiling, so I smiled back.” Demfar tilted his head to the side slightly. He lifted one of his tentacled arms and a small holographic display appeared and seem to hover over a small watch-looking device on his… um, wrist? Or wherever his “wrist” would be in comparison to Mike’s own arm. He seemed to be reading something. “Ah, yes. A smile. Your species often display your happiness by baring your teeth like that, I see.” He smiled again, though the fins on the side of his head did not reach quite as high. It was still enough to make Mike smile a little bit, though he made sure he didn’t show his teeth this time.

Demfar looked at Mike and then to the display again. “I do apologize. We learned as much as we could about humans from our ship’s internal database, but seeing as we did not have any humans aboard, it was quite limited. We’ve managed to send for more information, but it’s been slow. We’re still a ways out from the nearest Federation outpost, and communication is often disrupted by cosmic interference during warp.” The display disappeared and Demfar stepped toward Mike and lifted the blanket that was still partially covering Mike’s torso.

“Incredible,” Demfar murmured quietly.

“What?” Mike’s muscles tensed and he felt himself leaning ever so slightly away from Demfar. Breathe, he thought, it’s okay, he seems nice. He’s a doctor. I’m his patient. It’s okay. I’ll be okay. He’s a doctor… an alien doctor.

Demfar paused and gave Mike the same concerned look he had when he first came in.

“I understand you’ve been through quite an ordeal, but I can assure you, I mean you no harm human… uh, human…” the fins on the side of his face tilted back closer to the side of his head. “Oh my, do excuse my lack of manners. I have told you my name, but have not asked for yours.”

“Captain Michael Rockwell,” he responded automatically. “Uh, but my friends just, most people just call me Mike.”

“Mike, yes. Very good. Well, human-Mike, as I was saying, I mean you no harm. No one on this ship does. We are on an exploratory and diplomatic mission for the Galactic Federation to the outer sectors. Those that abducted and harmed you and your companion have been taken into custody and will be punished for their crimes. Now, about your injuries, we’ve done our best to-”

“Hold on, hold on, my companion? You mean Wenona? Where is she? How is she? Is she okay?”

“Wen-no-na? Is that her name? Yes, she’s fine, or at least as fine as one can be in such circumstances. Most of her wounds, much like yours, have healed remarkably fast. She’s been awake off and on for about half the day-cycle, but she has so far refused to speak to anyone. She took a good swing at me earlier when I tried to check her wounds after she first woke up.”

“Oh. Sorry about that.” So she was awake. Good. Maybe if he could convince Demfar he was well enough, he could go see her. He scooted over and dropped his legs over the side of the platform he’d been resting on.

“Whoa now, hold on! Where do you think you’re going? I still need to check you out and make sure you’re alright!” “I’m fine. I need to make sure Wenona is okay. She’s probably freaked out right now, she needs me. She needs to know I’m alright.” He stood up, the muscles in his legs and lower back protesting the movement. The blanket that had been on him slipped and fell. Mike tried quickly to grab it before it reached the ground, and in doing so nearly lost his balance.

Oh boy, dizzy.

He righted himself again and wrapped the blanket around his midsection. Demfar looked more than a little dubious. “I’m fine, just a bit sore. I need to see Wenona. And I need some clothes.”

#abduction #humans are weird #humans are space orcs #humans are awesome #humans and aliens #aliens #space #novel #jebannuck #mike rockwell #wenona #thurrin #salora #gladius

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xtruss · 4 years

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Is Old Yeast OK? The 17 Rules of Expiry Dates – From Eggs to Meat to Oils

Use-by dates are a food-safety matter so you should always take them seriously. Here’s a guide to where you do – and definitely don’t – have some leeway

— Guardian USA | Zoe Williams | Thursday 23 April, 2020

Breaking the mould ... is Theresa May’s approach to jam-eating a good rule of thumb?

One news event you may have missed this month was that Tesco lost a judicial review over selling foods past their use-by date. The company had been taken to court by Birmingham city council, and was launching a challenge using the evidence of the food microbiologist Slim Dinsdale, a swashbuckler of the pathogenic world, who favours the “smell it and see” approach. All of this was over-ruled by judges, who decided that use-by dates were, overall, still important enough for public safety to be observed.

This was, of course, all overshadowed, by the coronavirus outbreak; but the use-by date controversy has never been more up to date. The cook, author and campaigner Jack Monroe runs ad hoc advice sessions called Lockdown Larder on Twitter, and says: “Since I’ve been doing it, by a country mile the most-asked question I’ve had is: ‘I’ve got this yeast, it went out of date two months ago, can I use it? I’ve got these sardines, they went out of date a year ago, can I use them?’ People want someone they perceive to be an expert to reassure them. As a species, we seem to have lost the ability to trust our own senses.”

This gets to the core of the matter. If you want a blanket rule for everyone, the use-by date is that rule. I can only tell you what I would eat. If it happens to be the same as Theresa May (who famously admitted to scraping the mould off jam), that’s just coincidence.

Erik Millstone, emeritus professor of science policy at the University of Sussex, lays out the ground rules: ignore sell-by dates. “Those are a guidance by the retailers for the retailers, so they can manage their stock. The indications concerning food safety, particularly microbiological food safety, that’s use-by dates.” But are all use-by dates created equal?

Eggs

Eggs, strictly speaking, don’t have a use-by date but a best-before-end (BBE), which is mostly to do with quality and taste rather than safety. Either way, this is a hill I’m prepared to die on: dates are irrelevant to eggs, because of the float test. Drop the egg in a glass of water. If it floats to the surface, it’s definitely off. If it sits flat on its side, it’s definitely fresh. If it sits vertically, it’s somewhere between fresh and off (I would still eat it). A fully off egg will also smell disgusting, but you can save yourself that trauma by conducting this test.

The sulphurous smell of an off egg triggers a useful disgust mechanism, because the bacterium causing it – Pseudomonas – can be injurious. Salmonella is far more dangerous, being undetectable, but British hens are inoculated.

Bread

If a bread past its BBE date is mouldy, or smells of mould, don’t eat it. Don’t just chop off the mouldy bit, because there is a twilight when mould spores are present but not yet visible. Mould on bread isn’t the most dangerous of the fungi, but it’s still revolting.

Spices

I remember being astonished to read (in Delia) that you should do a complete spice overhaul every year, because they won’t taste as good. As I have spices that are older than my children; this seemed extremely wasteful. There are spices that most cooks won’t get through in a year (za’atar) unless you live with Yotam Ottolenghi. But Delia’s right, if you want them to last longer, buy them whole and grind yourself to order, or go back in time and store them in brown rather than clear glass.

Nuts

Ah, this is where things get interesting. Millstone says: “Some of the compounds formed from mould can be seriously toxic, especially aflatoxins, which can be carcinogenic.” These are found on mouldy grain and nuts.

You can’t buy dangerous grains and nuts (because of that blasted EU), but you should take very seriously the use-by date on what you have bought. There is no meaningful trade-off between risk now and cancer later. It’s not like pharmaceuticals; it’s just a bar snack.

Harissa, Wasabi Paste and Other things That Discolour

Some time before anything goes mouldy, it may go a bit grey (if it started out green) or just a murkier version of itself (if it started out red). This is plain pigment oxidisation and is not dangerous, though it is a bit unappetising – if the fat has oxidised, you will be able to smell it.

Yeast, Baking Powder and Other Things That React

Monroe raises the stakes here: “I’ve personally used yeast that is 10 years out of date. But it’s not been opened, and was stored away from direct light in cool conditions. It didn’t rise as well as normal yeast would. If you’re using old yeast, I would always recommend using 1.5 times the amount the recipe states, leave it for an extra hour, and if you’re really running low on flour, make a quarter batch, then if it doesn’t rise, or doesn’t go so well, you can work it into a soda bread and you’re not going to waste half a bag of what is currently quite a precious resource.”

Baking powder and bicarbonate of soda typically have shelf lives of one to two years, but storage is more important than numbers, and there is a school of thought that says bicarb lasts for ever. Yup, for ever.

Fresh Meat and Fish

These are “particularly vulnerable to bacterial spoilage,” Millstone says, “and if it smells off, it’s definitely off.” However, some forms of spoilage are smellier than others, so just because it doesn’t smell doesn’t mean it’s safe. “If I had a piece of chicken one day past its use-by date,” Millstone continues, I wouldn’t simply barbecue it and eat it, but I might put it in a casserole and cook it at a high temperature for quite a long time.”

Vulnerability to rottenness is partly about surface area – how much the meat has come into contact with the outside world, and how much of it is subject to direct heat while you’re cooking. This is why mince is such a minefield, because it has a huge surface area, and if you’re cooking a burger medium rare, the middle won’t have been thoroughly cooked. A whole bird has a much smaller surface area. Game birds are a subtle enterprise, the window between how it’s supposed to smell and “off” being so narrow. It’s eater-beware in this case.

Cured Meat and Fish

Salt, naturally, has a preservative effect, and the sniff and overall appearance test should work with things such as salami. These things have a pretty good shelf life to begin with, and are very low effort (you don’t have to cook them, you just have to pop them in your mouth). So there is something to be said for using your memory rather than your judgment. Eat them before the use-by date, and you won’t have to play ham-roulette.

Pesto, Jam and Other Jars Full of Mould

The food safety scene is united on this – nothing with mould should be consumed, except where it has been introduced deliberately (blue cheese). It does, however, seem a bit absurd, if you have a jam with a bit of mould on, stuffed with sugar so you know it’s fine underneath, to have to chuck the whole lot out. Millstone is slightly forgiving on this. “If there’s a bit of mould on the top surface of jam that can be safely removed, then the jam lower down might well be safe. But if the entire top surface is covered in mould, you should discard it.” Pesto will taste rank if it’s mouldy as pine nuts go rancid very fast.

Dried Fruit

Again, frozen, tinned and dried food gets a BBE date rather than a use-by date. You can sail past the BBE on dried fruit by as much as a year, though the higher the water content, the less time you have – figs and dates won’t last as long as currants and raisins. Do yourself a favour, though, and taste these things if they are very old. If they no longer taste of themselves, that’s just a waste of calories.

Oils

Certain oils (walnut, sesame) seem to go off much faster than others (vegetable, olive oil) but this is usually because we don’t use them fast enough. The smell and taste of a rancid oil is subtle but very insistent, and you can easily ruin a whole dish with a very small amount of it. Don’t give it the benefit of the doubt; smelling it, tasting it, smelling it again, not wanting to chuck it out because it was expensive. It’s much more wasteful to ruin more food than to throw it away.

Dried Pulses and Beans

We think of these as forever foods, but by the end of the best-before date, they will be tough and won’t taste as good. Vexingly, they will have toughened at different rates within the packet, so it will be impossible to adjust your cooking times for toughness without some of them going mushy. Stick with the guidelines.

Flour

Your real enemy is the weevil. Some people say just sift them out, others (Millstone) remind us that you don’t know what else those bugs have been crawling over.

Cheese, Milk and Yoghurt

Hard cheeses are less vulnerable to mould and bacteria than soft ones, since their higher salt content has a protective effect. All bets are off for cheeses in which the mould is deliberate. Those are delicious. I would happily saw the mouldy end off a cheddar and eat the rest. Milk has the fabulous trait of smelling awful – and shortly after that, separating – to warn you that it’s off. Yoghurt is the great unknown (I have never met anybody who takes yoghurt use-by dates seriously). Monroe will eat a yoghurt a week after its expiration. I once found one at the bottom of my daughter’s school bag, decided it would probably be fine, and it exploded. So don’t listen to me (on this one occasion).

Oat and Almond Milks

These new fangled milks will keep in pantry conditions for several months, then for seven days in the fridge. There hasn’t been a huge amount of consumer experimentation; the best anecdotal evidence is that they lose their flavour, rather than becoming disgusting. Oat milk is lower in fat and higher in sugar, so will last longer. Almond milk won’t have a very strong smell, even if it’s off, so taste it tentatively.

Crisps

Best-before dates on crisps are so long, and crisps themselves so delicious, that it’s actually quite hard to find any that are out of date. Monroe got some two-year-out-of-date Doritos from a vending machine the other day (“Were they the best Doritos I’ve ever had? Probably not, but they were fine”); I had some Quavers this morning that should have been eaten by February. They are loaded with salt and preservatives. Probably the worst they can bring is disappointment, of not being crunchy enough.

Tins

The best-before dates on cans range between three and five years from purchase, but this is essentially a way of saying “for ever, all things being equal” – if you’re dealing in units of half a decade, you’re not really talking about the food perishing, but rather the tin. Acidic foods such as tinned tomatoes can attack the can from the inside. Otherwise, rust, dents, any attack on its structural integrity can interfere with its powers of preservation. If you have a tin with a dent in it, even if you can clearly remember the time you dropped it, it’s still better not to eat it. I once had some Swedish anchovies that swelled up like a bloater fish. I don’t know how that happened, but I didn’t try to eat them.

Jack Monroe’s Good Food for Bad Days is out at the end of May

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lotrspnfangirl · 7 years

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Gishwhes 2017 - CultofCaffeine

This years Gish was just as much fun as previous years! I think I had the most fun this year being able to gish with my best friends (Alex and @cassondrawinchester) as well as a lot of the girls I did it last year with! We had an excellent team, and I made a few new friends, and we got up to some crazy stuff.

I think the highlight this year was getting to scare the crap out of my dad and despite some questionable 'cult like' behavior, we weren't arrested. So, win on that one! And meeting @pherryt at the Gish get together!!!

Now, the reason you're all actually here... Here is our team's submissions!

#2 There was a hobby or talent that you used to do when you were younger that you stopped doing for whatever reason. Do it again. Now.

#4 As anyone who reads “Cosmopolitan” magazine knows, bohemian eco-chic weddings are all the rage. Let’s see a wedding dress made from recycled office paper.

youtube

#6 Re-enact the experience of your birth, using (only) shadow puppets.

#8 The year is 2021. Of all the unique and amazing human specimens on Earth, it was hard for the aliens to choose which ones to collect, but your team stood out as being excessively weird & worth “analysis". Your entire team was abducted and put into an alien specimen box. In grid form, show each member of your team along with a card explaining where they got you (city, country) and a word stating what special characteristic makes you unique.

#9 I can assure you, THAT has never been frozen in jello before! How did you manage to do that?!

#10 Pizza was invented in Italy in 997 AD to honor the Queen Consort, Queen Margherita. The next significant event in Italian history was the start of the Renaissance Period in the 14th century, which spawned a revival in art, architecture, science and learning. Let’s celebrate these two seminal moments in Italian history. Bake a Pizza decorated as a Renaissance painting that would make the Old Masters proud.

#12 Many of us have lost pets in our lifetime. As a memorial to a loved pet that is now frolicking in the clouds chasing or sniffing whatever it was that pet liked to chase/sniff, write a poem or haiku about that loved one, or create a small shrine in nature comprised of items the pet loved and a photo of him or her.

#13 (Side by side) A child drawing of their idea of happiness. Then, make it happen.

Stormy misses her grandma who lives in Kentucky and what would make her happiest is if she was able to come to visit her!

#14 Over the years gishwhes has always been a supporter of first responders (firemen, paramedics, ER medics, nurses, police, etc.). Let’s give them one last treatment of a proper gishwhes “THANK YOU!” Find your nearest and dearest first responders and bring them The Most Epic Cookies or Pastries the World Has Ever Seen (MECOPWHES).

#15 Groucho Marx a piece of fruit. No, we don’t know what this means either, but we’re excited to see what you come up with.

#17 Spicy Art! Using the spices you have in your spice cupboard, make a picture of your favorite (1) comic book cover, or (2) cartoon character. Either submit it alone, or as a side-by-side image comparison.

#19 (Side-by-side image) A photo of your pet and a photo of the portrait of your pet that you have made from their own food and treats.

#20 This family’s toys get into sweet, crazy escapades at night while the kids are sleeping. Your family’s toys make that family’s toys look like do-gooders. Let’s see what happened with your family’s toys while you slept last night.

#22 We finally have a confirmed sighting of a mythical beast from urban legends (Bigfoot, Nessie, Yeti, etc.) suffering the effects of climate change.

#23 This morning, my daughter, Maison reported having seen a “moon fairy” while I was sleeping last night. As you know, the rarely-seen moon fairies are mischievous, nocturnal creatures who participate in synchronized, representational flight. Using a long exposure and flashlights (or other movable light sources) photograph these elusive beasts.

#24 She wore a raspberry beret… Wear a beret made out of raspberries as you shop in a second-hand store.

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#26 (Create an old-school STOP MOTION film - up to 1 minute.) A Romeo and Juliet story... Two young virile socks (unmatched) meeting, falling in love, being kept apart and finally ending tragically.

#29 It is either winter or summer where you are. (If it is not, please contact our support so we can send NASA to find you.) There’s something you love to do outdoors in the winter or summer where you live. Do the activity you love to do in the opposite season that you are in.

#30 THIS ITEM MUST BE POSTED ON SOCIAL MEDIA PRIOR TO THE END OF THE HUNT! NEW LEASH ON LIFE USA adopts otherwise unadoptable dogs and sends them through a unique training program. Shelter pets rarely get any attention and millions are put down each year. Many times this can be avoided if people on the Interwebs (who would like and could responsibly own a pet) were to see how cute, available, lonely and cuddly they are. Let’s save a pet or two (or thousands). Grab a friend or two and visit a shelter. Spend some time with one or more of the pets there. Post a selfie of your favorite pet looking for a “forever home” on Twitter (tagging @NewLeashUSA) or Instagram (tagging @NewLeashOnLifeUSA), using hashtag #adoptmeplease, and the social media handle or name of the shelter (so people can contact them). Submit the image you take on our site, but provide the link to your social media post link in the comment field of the submit page.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BXtiZY5ADuC/

#34 As this is likely the last year of gishwhes we should probably do something to memorialize it. A lot of folks have been saying, “Save gishwhes!” But we say, “Shave “gishwhes”... into the back of your head.” Try to match the amazing logo that Olivia Desianti formed way back when - which we still use today. Bonus points if you include the current or a former gishwhes hybrid mascot in your masterpiece. The same design shaved into a thick matt of back or chest hair would be an acceptable substitute. A little red lipstick makes this pop!

#35 Hand a bouquet of flowers (or a single flower) to a person leaving a house of worship that is not your religion. For example, if you are a Christian, you could hand a bouquet of flowers to someone leaving a mosque. If you’re Jewish, hand flowers to someone at a Christian church, etc. With the flowers, attach a note saying something in your own words, but to the effect of: “I may not worship in the same building as you, and I may not pray to the same prophets, but I am grateful to be sharing this planet with you in peace.”

#36 The dewey decimal system has long been responsible for keeping good books apart— books that clearly deserve to spend a life together on library shelves. For that matter, it seems so many libraries go out of their way to keep perfectly good literary companions apart as they separate fact from fiction, biography from archaeology, science fiction from politics. Be the matchmaker literature needs and get creative at your local library or bookstore. Show the spines of at least six books together in a library or bookstore (the more titles the better) the titles of which create the perfect oxymoronic sentence or phrase. - Monica Duff Teacher says, When you reach me this dark endeavor revealed first lights glow.

#37 No one talks about the fact that the destruction of the Death Star put thousands of Stormtroopers out of work. Luckily the Empire has a pretty robust social safety net and most of them have been retrained and placed in new jobs, the majority of which have been in the transportation sector. Let’s see a stormtrooper driving/flying a large passenger vehicle. Must be for mass transit, not just a car or a van. A subway, train, bus, ferry, plane, etc.

#38 THIS ITEM MUST BE POSTED ON SOCIAL MEDIA PRIOR TO THE END OF THE HUNT! Pick a celebrity social media image post (or an advertisement) and recreate it with a subtle twist like like Celeste Barber does here. Tweet, Instagram or FB post your image side-by-side with the original image, “#embracereality @gishwhes” and your team name. (You may also tag or mention the celebrity or brand you are satirizing.) Submit the image you take side-by-side with the original one, but provide the link to your social media post in the comment field of the submit page.

https://twitter.com/courie969/status/896455455656075265

#41 Show us your own personal “Stairway to Heaven” -Dylan Cacador

#42 You ever heard of “pond dipping”? “river bugging”? Neither have we - but let’s not let that stop us. Invent and show off your own *SAFE* summer wet, wild and messy activity and caption it with a clever name.

#43 Never judge a book by its cover… or bread by its shape. Bake bread or cookies into the shape of something you would DEFINITELY not want to eat. (We hate to have to say this every year, but pornographic pastries will result in docked points.)

#46 THE FINAL “KALE” ART. (Please note that per Commandment #4 of the 2017 Hunt, this word and material as a Hunt item is not permitted. We are aware of this. That being said, we do not care. You still may not use the word “kale”. Henceforth, it shall be called [REDACTED] BUT you may use it as a material for this item.) Therefore, take a SINGLE glorious piece of [REDACTED] and, using whatever adornments or other decoratives, clipping patterns, etc., create a stunning, museum worthy piece of art that shall then be showcased (and submitted as such) as an ornamental headpiece on you.

#48 As most people know, roosters enjoy a good sunrise. But other farm animals enjoy sunrises and sunsets, too. Let's see a photo of you, some friends or companions (such as your dog), and a sheep, horse, cow, or other non-rooster barnyard animal, watching the sun rise or set together. Bonus points if the spectacular skies are reflected in water in front of you.

#49 There’s something important that your local or national politicians are not attending to properly. Stand in front of something that represents the issue/right/minority group/etc. that you care about and that your politicians are not adequately protecting and hold a large, hand-written sign with a message to the powers that be. Tweet this image to an elected official with the power to do something to help tagged “#gishwhesrights”. Submit the image and a link to your tweet in the comments.

https://twitter.com/casschindler/status/895052460682878976

#51 Anyone who serves in the military is risking their life to serve their nation. Being respectful to not trespass on military grounds, stand in front of a large military craft, ship, tank, or plane with an inclusive sign of thanks to every service member of every kind. You may post this image on social media prior to the end of the hunt, if you choose. Submit the image with a link to your post in the comment section (if you chose to post it). https://twitter.com/casschindler/status/895053091153874945

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#52 (Time-lapse up to 30 seconds.) Paint a dignified portrait of a President, Prime Minister, King, or Queen. But we don’t want you to waste canvas or paper! Paint this on a loved one’s bare back or abdomen. (use skin safe paints or edible “paint-like” food products!) (ignore my side boob...)

#53 Write something in frosting on a cake that you’ve always wanted to say to someone, and deliver it to them.

#54 THIS ITEM MUST BE POSTED ON SOCIAL MEDIA PRIOR TO THE END OF THE HUNT! Listen to this and be scared: http://www.radiolab.org/story/nukes/. But this bill has been introduced to try to solve this global risk. Let’s get it approved! Tweet ALL of your reps to pass the legislation to make congressional approval for first nuclear strike US law. Submit a screenshot of your post. Provide a link to the tweet in the comment field of the submit page. https://twitter.com/lotrspnfangirl/status/894801114641649665

#56 Sometimes things are just too comfy to leave, but you’re prepared for this! Let’s see you in your “Hammock Self-Containment Unit”. This, of course, would be you in a hammock with everything you need to live for one week, including all life preserving items, sanitation supplies and, of course, entertainment (live or otherwise). Make sure it’s clean, well organized, and designed for easy access to everything.

#62 Honeybees are a “keystone” species just like sharks. If they’re gone, we’re in big trouble. Unfortunately, there are currently “Colony Collapse Disorders” happening with honeybees throughout the world. This is when the majority of worker bees in a colony disappear, leaving the queen and immature bees to fend for themselves (most colonies completely die). This has major global food crop implications, as honeybees perform the magic of pollination of agricultural crops. If bees go by the wayside, we will have to find alternative pollination solutions, and that ain’t gonna be easy. But, let’s roll up our sleeves and give it a shot: Plant something in your garden (or plant a garden if you don’t have one) that is bee friendly (even if it’s just one plant in one pot on a patio). Spring - lilacs, penstemon, lavender, sage, verbena, and wisteria. Summer – Mint, cosmos, squash, tomatoes, pumpkins, sunflowers, oregano, rosemary, poppies, black-eyed Susan, passion flower vine, honeysuckle. Fall – Fuschia, mint, bush sunflower, sage, verbena, toadflax. Take a picture of yourself wearing some sort of bee-attire doing your part to pollinate your newly planted plant.

#66 Personify your favorite movie title. Include a caption on your image of the title of the movie in quotes. - Tanya Best

#67 Banana Hammock. This year’s summer fashion elitists are all wearing the latest rage: Banana Bikini or Banana Briefs. Join them!

#68 You finally have a use for all the naked bananas you now have sitting around! Bake as much banana bread as you can with “gishwhes” spelled out in bananas on the top & distribute it to your local nursing home.

#73 Visit a local laundromat. Place decorated envelopes with enough money (in coins or bills, depending on the machines) for one load of washing and one load of drying on at least one machine with the note: “We swim together, we tumble together. Love, Gishwhes.”

#75 They told me I couldn’t, so I did. Pose in front of a sign declaring a rule. Break that rule. A few notes: It must be safe (what you are doing), and it MUST NOT be a law or illegal where you are. It must only be a “rule”. For example, you might find a sign that says, “collared shirts only.” You would pose in front of that sign wearing a tank top. - Inspired by Emily Shulman

#75 Personify or embody your team name. Caption your image with your team name. - Shannon

#81 Sometimes it feels like your boss expects you to be in more than one place at more than one time, but you’re a gisher so you know how to deliver. Using the panoramic photo function on your phone, insert yourself at least three times in the same picture in different positions and/or wardrobe to show yourself as you “multitask”. You may NOT Photoshop yourself into the image. (Hint: you have to run around the person taking the picture each time they pass you in the frame.)

#82 In honour of Canada's 150th birthday, even though you may not be Canadian, you and a friend should clearly cover yourself in maple syrup and go roll in some maple leaves. - Jessica G.

#83 Lets see your interpretation of fireworks using vegetables and spaghetti as mixed media. - Saty381

#84 (Two Images side-by-side.) The first image is a photo of an illustrated page from a children’s book. The second image is your reenactment of that illustration in 3 dimensions. - Inspired by Sarah Trumbley

#85 Let’s see LABSWHES. The Largest Awesome Balloon Sculpture the World Has Ever Seen. The themes this year are “insect” or “space”—or both. You must be in the middle of this structure.

#86 Everyone thinks unicorns are beautiful, magical, gentle creatures. You know better. Prove it to the world! You may use any media you like, including Photoshop. - Traci Akierman (( this is everything to me ))

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#89 Apply lipstick while jumping on a trampoline. - Emily Schulman

#91 Leave a Yelp review of gishwhes after you deliver food to the homeless or to a homeless shelter.

#101 As I'm sure you’ve seen, over the years we have marketed gishwhes relentlessly and shamelessly (because we really want everyone to do it). This is the last gishwhes, so now it’s your turn to go ahead and show us how we should’ve marketed it. Create a gishwhes ad that no one would be able to resist. Note: you may make false or misleading claims if you so choose, but because we’re curious, you could even take a stab at a legit one.

#102 THIS ITEM MUST BE POSTED ON SOCIAL MEDIA PRIOR TO THE END OF THE HUNT! During the First Annual and Last Ever 2017 gishwhes Tea Party, we identified gishers based on their right-brush or left-brush toothbrushing statuses. Conduct a massive poll on your social networks for the gishwhes Institute of Vital Statistics to prove conclusively whether people brush their teeth starting on the same side of their mouth as their dominant hand or the opposite side. Because this is solid science, your sample size must have a minimum of 400 respondents. Submit a visually-compelling graph of your poll data and the number of votes and the winner. Use the hashtag #gishwhesteeth. Submit a screenshot of your post. Provide the link to your social media post in the comment field of the submit page. https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSflbQIfXAgyMfW0lpqMRT9UdReh7v1T2Iec-RYyLg-WK68LzQ/viewform

#105 We know a little girl that makes a different kind of Advent Calendar. As she marks off each day on the calendar, she gives something away. Make your own version of a reverse Advent calendar. On the first day of gishwhes, create a decorated Advent calendar whereby, for each day on the calendar, you depict something you’re going to give away. Then, each day of the Hunt, take a picture of you fulfilling your calendar item. Submit 7 pictures in a grid (or a video slideshow) showing what you’ve done. Then, continue on through the calendar period. (Yes, this will continue after the Hunt is over, but though gishwhes as we know it may be ending, its spirit will live on in you!) -Keegan Connor Tracy’s 10-year old daughter

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#109 (Up to 22 seconds.) Wonder Woman being “Superman-splained” to.

#119 Trump l’oeil. (This is not a typo.)

#123 As all gishers know, Saturday, August 12 is “Meet Another Gisher Day.” Meet up in front of the largest art museum in your town at 10:00 AM (of whatever timezone you’re in). It’s a pot-luck coleslaw brunch this year, so bring your favorite family recipe of coleslaw… and as much sidewalk chalk as you can. After brunch, decorate the pavement with a collaborative message to the world. In order for a meet-up to count you need to have representatives of at least 5 teams present, so this will require some organizing. Gishwhes is all about coming together, so teams may collaborate (gasp!) on this one, but your team’s image or video must still be all your own.

#124 Be someone’s “rock” to get them through the hard times. Hand-paint small rocks with a message of kindness & leave them in areas that need a pick-me-up. (On the underside, please write “Pass it on.”) You must paint & hide at least one rock for each member of your team.

https://youtu.be/LmptxuKay6o

((it wont let me add more videos)) #125 (Time-lapse under 20 seconds.) All good things must come to an end, and so it is with the Hunt. Create a “sand” mandala featuring images that symbolize the hunt to you… all using pixie sticks as your chakpur and sand. When it’s done, show us your masterwork and then, just like the Buddhist monks, sweep it away and get ready for what’s next.

#130 A tactometer used to measure tact.

#131 Make a collage that features things only locals from your town would know about. Display it prominently in a public space in your town.

https://youtu.be/Qt_zCMi71M4

#134 My wife is so trend-forward, she recently took a “goat yoga class” (it’s real; you can google it.) Without hurting, upsetting, or endangering ANY animal, show us the next trend in animal-infused yoga that she should get on board with.

https://youtu.be/N3BF22b1ghs

#135 THIS ITEM MUST BE POSTED ON SOCIAL MEDIA PRIOR TO THE END OF THE HUNT! (Up to 30 seconds.) Freeze frame on a picture of you (like they do at the end of movies) and then roll a credit sequence for your own life. Include a "here’s what happens to you in the future" sentence or two and then a listing of the people that have helped you get where you are now or where you are going and what their “titles” are. Post this on the social media channel of your choice with the hashtags #gishwhes #mylife. Submit the video, and in the comment field provide the link to the post.

#143 Sure, most Stormtroopers toed the line, but back in the 1960s there were a few draft-dodging peacenik Stormtroopers. Find a famous vintage photo of a peace sit-in or Woodstock-level love-in and flawlessly photoshop in one or more Stormtroopers. We must think it’s the real thing. As an alternative, you can stage your own “peace” picture and submit an “aged” stormtrooper sit-in image. YES, YOU MAY PHOTOSHOP THIS ITEM!

#152 Decorate the exterior of your home like the Pan House, using whatever object speaks to you.

#157 THIS ITEM MUST BE POSTED ON SOCIAL MEDIA PRIOR TO THE END OF THE HUNT! NASA is soliciting tweets to send to Voyager 1. Tweet your suggestion with #gishwhes. I suggest it be the following theme: Voyager 1 ran to the store and you are texting to remind it to pick something up at the store. But we will permit messages of any type so let your imaginations run wild. Submit a screenshot of your post. Provide a link to the tweet in the comment field of the submit page.

#158 Thanks to “reactions” we can now communicate our feelings more clearly to one another! But Facebook limits us to just 6 reactions and we at gishwhes HQ believe that this limitation constraints our ability to express nuanced emotions to one another. Let’s see an updated version of the Facebook “reactions” with feelings like “silently judging you”, “reacting positively to your face but planning to gossip about this later”, and “I’m just not sure how to feel about this” and other more subtle emotions. You may photoshop this item.

#164 Get a bonafide zillow listing for property on Mars.

#165 https://twitter.com/zenxv/status/845474882607632384

https://youtu.be/3rXlzYEtP4k

#167 (Time-lapse up to 20 seconds.) There are two things that science has proven unequivocally: 1) global warming is happening and 2) sucking the melting ice cream from a tiny hole in the bottom of a sugar cone is the greatest possible pleasure in life. (Minimum 5 rounded scoops on top and you must suck all the ice cream through the tiny hole.)

#169 Write "Ass butt" (in non-toxic kids finger paint or chalk!) on the hindquarters of an Ass. (This should go without saying, but be careful & safe. Approach from the side, never stand directly behind it, and try to keep the donkey happy so you don't get injured.)

#172 Now that this may be the last gishwhes-as-we-know-it ever, it’s time to reflect on missed opportunities. Let’s see the Item List Misha SHOULD have made all these years. Give us your team’s ideal gishwhes Item List with a minimum of 10 Items. If the majority of the items you create look like no thought was put into them (and you were just quickly writing down items to get the points), you will receive zero points.

#173 Complete one of the more challenging items on your team’s homemade gishwhes Item List.

https://youtu.be/mH2Hghjq6uc

#179 (Up to 45 seconds edited.) Share an audio dream diary of your first thoughts as you wake up every morning of the Hunt (so you cannot submit this until the last day of the Hunt!). It must be the first thing you do before you get out of bed.

#181 THIS ITEM MUST BE POSTED ON SOCIAL MEDIA PRIOR TO THE END OF THE HUNT! Let’s see a (SFW) 2,000 word essay published on twitter in 140 character bursts. (no attachments, etc.) about the best way to get pregnant for the 10th time. (I’m sorry, but I promised someone this would be an item.) Submit an image of the first post and then a link to this post in the COMMENT field of the submit page so we can check to make sure you “published” the whole thing.

https://twitter.com/lotrspnfangirl/status/896606741143724033

#182 THIS ITEM MUST BE POSTED ON SOCIAL MEDIA PRIOR TO THE END OF THE HUNT! Seamlessly modify using photoshop (or other digital altering software), a well-know oil painting by adding in an anachronistic element. For example, if it were a Monet, you might put one of the ladies under a parasol holding an ipad. YES, YOU MAY DIGITALLY ALTER THE IMAGE YOU ARE SUBMITTING… with a catch. The anachronistic element must be rendered seamlessly into the image in the style of the original painter or creator. It must look like a part of the original composition; we should not be able to tell it was added in later. Post the image on FB and/or Pinterest. Submit the image you take on our site, but provide the link to your social media post in the comment field of the submit page. #gishwhesModernMasterpiece

https://www.pinterest.com/pin/490892428124114391/

#183 You are all soon going to be a part of a sinister plot to take over the world… in a unique way. But we need your help. Here’s the first thing you have to do: Decide what your favorite point of interest, historical site or national landmark is in your town or city and enter its address here: http://qrickit.com/qrickit_apps/qrickit_qrcode_creator_geo.php . Below the map on that webpage you’ll see an “optional text” field. Enter “Taken by CFG”. Then click “Qcreate” at the bottom. Download the QR code and submit it as your item. Stay tuned for what comes next...

#186 One of the biggest problems astronauts will face when they travel to Mars will be figuring out how to bring enough food for the three year journey. Porcupanda has offered the idea of making their spacecraft out of food. Show them how. Build an edible spacecraft using anything except “space ice cream” (Per our resident Director of Intergalactic Space Exploration, that stuff tastes like strawberry Styrofoam: “Bleecht!” as he so eloquently put it.)

#187 Every year, the scientists at the NASA Jet Propulsion Lab make spectacular pumpkin carvings that put our humble Halloween jack-o-lanterns to shame (see https://www.wired.com/2016/10/watch-nasas-high-tech-pumpkins-action/). Whatever. What’s a rocket scientist got that you don’t have? Let’s see you out-do them! Show us your best and most outlandish WATERMELON-O-LANTERN carving. - Dave Lavery

#188 For many years, military aircraft sported spectacular “nose art”— artistic homages to people, places, and ideas important to the aircraft crew. As aesthetically appealing as aircraft nose art may have been, we think they botched it on the choice of canvas. Show us your best nose art - but this time, get it right! All art must be on, around, or incorporate, your nose.

https://youtu.be/N82SzhOV24k

#189 The World’s Worst Lawyer.

https://youtu.be/UwJtIh80M7I

#192 (Time lapse up to 25 seconds). In our busy world, people sometimes forget to slow down and see the beauty around them. Perform a task at work extremely slowly while everyone around you carries on at normal speed. When this is played back in in time lapse, you’re performing at normal speed and it’s the world around you that’s going too fast.

#196 THIS ITEM MUST BE POSTED ON SOCIAL MEDIA PRIOR TO THE END OF THE HUNT! THIS IS A TOP SECRET ITEM! DO NOT SHARE ITS CONTENT ON SOCIAL MEDIA UNTIL DIRECTED OR YOU WILL RUIN THE SURPRISE AND BE DELUGED WITH BAD KARMA. By now, most of you may know our friend Giles Duley. If not, watch the video at the top of this page. Then, watch here to see what he did with us recently: https://youtu.be/-tOt9LfZF9w ...and he’s doing something amazing with us again with us this year (which we’ll be announcing VERY soon). Giles inspires us and we want to thank him for all of his hard (and often thankless) work. So, we’re going to thank him... BUT WE’RE GOING TO SURPRISE HIM! SO PLEASE, PLEASE DO NOT POST ABOUT THIS UNTIL THE DESIGNATED TIME: On Friday, August 11th, at EXACTLY 9am PDT, we are going to give him a “thunderclap” of thanks on the Internet. Because Giles thinks EVERYONE can make a difference no matter their circumstances (and he’s a living embodiment of that), we’re going to prove it. Here’s your job: before the 11th, go out and do an act of kindness. But not just any act of kindness... Giles works hard to help refugee families and landmine victims, so your act of kindness should focus on expanding his work exponentially through the power of gishwhes and gishers. Do something that makes a meaningful, material difference in the life of either a refugee or someone who has been directly impacted by war. If you’re at a loss of how to do this, here are some suggestions: bring a care package to new refugees in your neighborhood, go to a refugee center and volunteer, bring a warm meal to a homeless veteran on the streets, volunteer at a soup kitchen where you know there are war veterans, make a donation to an organization that helps with reconstructive surgery and prosthetics for war victims, or sponsor a child made homeless by the war with a one-time or recurring donation. If you can’t manage to find or coordinate any of the above (but please try!), simply carry out a random act of kindness for another human being on the planet who could legitimately use some kindness. Dig deep on this one, guys. The goal is to cause a ripple effect from the work Giles is doing and expand it worldwide. Let's do this. Capture an image or video of this act. At 9am PDT on Friday, August 11th, post the image or video on Facebook with a detailed description of what you did and crosspost to Twitter. Be sure to mention Giles in the post. (For Facebook, tag @GilesDuleyPhotography and on Twitter, tag @gilesduley with #thanksGiles as the hashtag.) Submit the image or video you take on our site, but provide the link to your social media post link in the comment field of the submit page.

#202 A gisher wrote me recently stating, “I started gishwhes in 2015 myself and my children all joined in and had the best week of our lives, so much fun, so much love, so much laughter. In December 2015 I was diagnosed with ovarian cancer… But I didn't let it beat me. We signed up for gishwhes 2016 and made beautiful art together and performed many acts of kindness to those around us and in need, my children now 10 & 8 have those lessons in their hearts now, to spread kindness and love to all around them! Unfortunately I am too sick to participate this year, but hope to still be here to see all the wonderful creations everyone makes, and if I'm not still here when gishwhes starts I will be watching down on you all, cheering everyone on.” Obviously, I cried when I read that. We emailed her back, but haven’t heard back… So this one's for you, S. (and your kids), with love from me & everyone in the gishwhes family: Find a local hospital or cancer center and coordinate with them to deliver a comfort bag(s) to a patient. Fill a cheerfully decorated canvas or cloth bag with items to provide palliative relief and comfort to a cancer patient: soft eye masks, scarves, a soft blanket, socks, ginger tea or candy, unscented natural lip balm, sudoku or coloring books, puzzles, poems, etc. Include a note of support or encouragement if you wish. (Please don't say "get well soon.” Phrasing like, "we're sending you our love" is better.) Please do not take a picture with the recipient... Just the bag. We trust you to deliver.

#204 Escape Gishwhes! https://www.gishwhes.com/escape-room/. If you manage to break out of this wild ride of mystery and mayhem, you’ll be prompted to enter your Team Name to document your success via an online form. BEFORE YOU HIT THE SUBMIT BUTTON, take a screenshot showing your team name in the Text Input Field and save the image, THEN hit the SUBMIT button. Your submission will be uploading the screenshot on our item list (backed up by what the online form sends gishbot).

#206 We got this letter to our support gnomes:Name: [REDACTED]Message : Hello Gishpeople. I want to question why there are so many specific-locations-that-aren't-Sweden only items, and no Sweden only items. I speak for all Swedes when we say that we find this very saddening. We don't understand how you could miss out on an opportunity like this, since Sweden is a very beautiful country, containting great things such as Dalahästar.We, as a nation, expect a formal apology for this, of course.All our love, and some sad wonders,[REDACTED]Sweden, you're absolutely right! You are a beautiful country and it's time we stopped overlooking you. You deserve a formal apology as requested and so in the interest of international diplomacy, it's our duty to deliver and rectify this egregious oversight. With that in mind, (I hope you'll forgive me but this is a location-specific image to appease Sweden, guys): Take a picture of yourself in front of the biggest landmark or point of interest in your town while holding a beautiful hand-lettered sign that reads, "We Are Sorry, Sweden". This is a location-based item, so you may do this anywhere in the world... except Sweden.

@cassondrawinchester

#gishwhes #gishwhes2017 #cultofcaffeine #pic spam #friends #so much fun #love #supernatural

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